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3: Scars Remain Ch. 01

By: Spartan22



Book Three: The Diary of a Hero -- Scars Remain

She blew it, and she knew it. It was the worst mistake in the world, and she couldn't take it back.

Her on-again/off-again boyfriend Luke, who was really more off-again this time, had finally come back home from war. But his return wasn't like that of the average soldier; everyone had previously thought that Luke was killed in action.

Which made the reunion all the more spectacular. It was indescribable... or at least it started off that way. The way that Luke scooped her up into his arms, holding her tightly, making her feel like she was the only one in the world in his eyes; Kaylee absolutely melted.

She kissed him passionately and begged God to freeze time itself so they could stay that way forever; she never wanted to forget that moment. It was perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

Somehow, right in the middle of his loving embrace, her emotions overwhelmed her, inexplicably turning from passion to terror. Kaylee ran away, crying uncontrollably.

He needed her desperately. And because of her own fears and insecurities, she ran. What kind of girlfriend material was she, anyway? It's no wonder they were more 'off' than 'on'.

Kaylee cried and cried, vowing to stay in her apartment for as long as she could. She didn't want to see her best friend Audrey, she didn't want to see Luke's sister Faith, and she especially didn't want to see Luke. She loved him terribly, but there was no way she could face him again. Her embarrassment and shame was too great.

And after that horrible letdown, there was no way she could compete with Luke's desert girlfriend... whomever she was.

Phone calls went unreturned, texts were deleted, and she could outwait anyone who dared to ring her doorbell, no matter how many times. Kaylee felt incredibly guilty for leaving Luke on the most important day of his life, but she just couldn't take it. Luke had somehow managed to cheat death twice. The first time alone almost destroyed her. Kaylee knew she was overreacting, but she couldn't escape a nagging feeling that a third time was coming, and this time he wouldn't make it.

She didn't know if she could exist in a world where Luke died. That feeling was already too well known to her. When the Air Force bereavement notification officials came to the door, mistakenly telling her that Luke did in fact die, her very soul was crushed. She knew it sounded insane, but now that he was alive, she couldn't endure something like that again. It would be unbearable.

Most of her friends unsuccessfully tried to reach out to Kaylee, time and time again, eventually giving up. Luke remained persistent, doing everything short of kicking in Kaylee's door. He finally gave up.

But Faith texted her at least twice a day, and never gave up on her. Her latest text came at just the right time.

Kaylee was already having an awful morning; as if the entire "Luke Situation" wasn't bad enough, her laptop crashed and the computer nerds on the phone said her motherboard was probably fried. To make things worse, she accidentally spilled hot soup all over the carpet. She was almost done cleaning up the mess when her phone chimed.

Kaylee sighed; she had no doubt it was another text from Faith. Kaylee really could've used a friend, as much as she hated to admit it. Reluctantly turning over her phone, she looked at the message:

Faith Patton: Wanted you to know I'm still praying for you! Phil 4:13: "I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me". Love you, call me anytime! :) -Faith"

Kaylee shook her head but also gave up a weak smile, knowing Faith never gave up on her. That was Faith, Luke's bubbly sister. Always looking on the bright side of life.

Kaylee thought for a moment, debating whether to ignore her as usual, or whether she should risk putting her feelings on the line and dare to consult with the sister of the man that tormented the fiber of her very being. Through no fault of his own, of course. Luke owned her heart, whether he wanted to or not.

Biting her lower lip, she mumbled, "I'm going to regret this," as she typed back:

Kaylee Reed: ty Faith, i lke tht vrse

Within seconds, her phone chimed again. Kaylee knew her simple response essentially cracked opened the door to what she called "loving harassment", a definition that could only apply to Faith Patton. She winced, knowing Faith was ready to kick the door in.

Faith Patton: Let's do dinner tonight, my treat; they opened a new Mexican place, but I know how much you love Thai. Which one?

Kaylee grinned, admiring Faith's forwardness. She didn't ask if Kaylee wanted to eat, she asked where she wanted to eat. Faith had the potential to be such a devious monster if she wasn't such a caring, sweet girl. That part of Faith vividly reminded Kaylee of someone else she knew very well back in high school -- herself.

Kaylee Reed: very subtle. Lucky for u i have cabin fever. Mex -- come get me at 7?

Faith Patton: It's a date! See you at 7

Kaylee Reed: NO LUKE! Not 1 word. Im not ready. I mean it

Faith Patton: Lol would I do that to you? Ok, no Luke. This time.

"Brat," Kaylee smiled. "Yep, she's definitely too much like me. Now I know what my parents had to deal with." Kaylee stared at her phone for an entire minute before typing up another reply.

Instead of hitting the send button, she erased it. Hesitating a few moments, Kaylee sighed and typed it again, only to erase it a second time.

Finally, wincing the entire time, she typed it in a third time and hit the send button quickly so she couldn't change her mind:

Kaylee Reed: Tell Luke Im sorry, and I miss him.

The ten-second wait for Faith's reply was the slowest ten seconds of her life. For a moment, the excitement she felt sent her right back to high school as she both anticipated and received Faith's reply. She felt immature, but she didn't care.

Faith Patton: Oh please; you and Luke are going to get married some day once you both quit being so freaking stubborn. You can tell him yourself!

Kaylee was shocked, her eyes opened wide while rereading the text. That was so unlike Faith. She couldn't take her eyes off of the word "married". Another message popped in:

Faith Patton: Oops! Stupid autocorrect! What it should have said was "Please know that Luke feels the same way and misses you too, even if he won't admit it. But I will tell him!" :)

Her eyes narrowed intensely as she said, "Faith, you little liar! Autocorrect, my ass." Still, she smiled thinking about Faith's cruel little trick.

It was only a small and insignificant conversation through nothing more than electronic words on a tiny screen, but somehow her horrible day didn't seem to be so horrible anymore.

---

Faith did a good job of kicking the door in. Somehow she managed to persuade Kaylee to have dinner with her regularly, and it wasn't long afterwards that Audrey joined them. It was just the three girls once again and it almost felt like everything was back to normal, even though Kaylee knew better.

With great patience and determination, Faith and Audrey dragged Kaylee back to the real world; it wasn't the first time Audrey had to pull Kaylee out of her shell, and it wasn't likely to be the last.

Faith knew Kaylee didn't want to talk about Luke, but she did try her hardest to subtly inject him into their conversations. She updated Kaylee with Luke's day-to-day life, about the progression of physical therapy for his shoulder and how the Air Force continued to visit him for a myriad of reasons. Faith suspected Luke would have to be discharged because of his medical injuries but couldn't be sure.

Faith even told Kaylee that she, Luke, and their parents originally began talking to a counselor the Air Force referred them to. Using that platform as a segue, Faith took a major leap, choosing her words carefully, "You know, the counselor mentioned you; she said that after all you've been through, you are certainly welcome to see her. In fact, she encourages it."

Kaylee hesitated before answering, picking apart her garden salad. She wanted to pretend she didn't hear the question, but she quietly murmured across the restaurant table, "That might be a little strange, seeing Luke at a counselor's office before we get a chance to talk to each other. I don't know..."

A rare moment of irritation crossed Faith's face, something Kaylee wasn't used to seeing. In fact, it almost looked like Faith was angry. Putting her fork down, Faith huffed, "Well, let me explain a little more. All four of us started going; we really like the counselor. She seems to know her stuff. Luke only went the first few times. He isn't going anymore. Mom, dad, and I still are."

Kaylee was shocked. She had deliberately avoided talking about Luke every chance she had, but she couldn't help blurt out, "Why the frick is he not going? After everything he went through... I mean, if half of the things are true about what they say he went though..." Kaylee caught herself before her voice escalated any further; she had to stop talking just to catch her breath.

"Kaylee," Audrey said softly, trying not to rile her up any further, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. And everyone is doing everything they can to lead him down the right path."

"Yeah?" Kaylee retorted, "Well, then we hold the stupid horses head under water until he drinks, don't we?"

Faith was just as upset. She had to take a drink of water, hoping to calm her nerves. Recomposing herself, she said, "I know. All of us have been trying to talk him into going back there but he keeps brushing us off. He's actually getting ready to move out tomorrow. He's been staying at home, trying to regain a sense of normalcy after everything that happened, but he says he's ready to move on. I don't think he is, but he's been pretty insistent."

"Where's he going," Kaylee asked, trying to sound nonchalant, as if she wasn't all that interested.

"Eagle Bluff apartments. He's just so... so..." Faith's face turned red, her hands raised and her fingers spread wide as if ready to strangle her brother; the more she talked the more exasperated she became.

Audrey spoke up on her behalf, "He's not really the same Luke, Kaylee. He just seems... I don't know. Really angry. About everything; the little things. He still has some healing to do."

"I knew it was bad, but..." Kaylee said, separating her food with her fork although she no longer had her appetite. She wanted to cry, but as exhausted as she was it felt like she was out of tears.

Audrey looked over at Faith and then back to Kaylee. "He's good at hiding it, though. Most people outside his family don't see it. Even Aaron doesn't believe us."

Faith added, "I know he's been through a lot, and seen the most awful, horrible things anyone can see. I mean, my worst nightmares can't even begin to compare to what he actually experienced. He's strong, but he can't do it alone, and right now he doesn't want anyone to help him."

Taking a deep breath, Audrey said, "Kaylee, you might want to think about talking to Luke. He's angry at you for the way you left him, but we all know he loves you. Maybe you can get through to him."

A stunned silence overcame Kaylee. She stuttered, "I... I don't know. He probably hates my guts after... after..."

Faith stepped in and said, "Kaylee, you don't have to right away. Just think about it. We know you love him the same way he loves you, but you are both clearly hurting. Maybe you can both go talk to our counselor? He'll follow you if you go. I'm worried about him. I know you are, too." Kaylee looked down at her plate, digesting every word.

With barely a whisper, Kaylee said, "What's wrong with the two of us? I know we weren't exactly the all-American couple." She continued, choking out, "But he was my hero. He still is, but he found somebody else. And then, to make things worse, I didn't even welcome him back home."

A few sniffs came from Audrey and Faith; both girls were misting up. Faith said, "Kaylee, I haven't heard anything about that other girl; I really don't think she's in the picture anymore."

"You don't know that," Kaylee sniffed.

"True; Luke hasn't really talked about anything from over there, but he's not sending texts or emails or calling anyone, or doing the things he did when you two were together. You could tell just by looking at him that he was head over heels in love with you. Heck, I'll bet you anything he's still madly in love with you despite everything that has happened. All of that aside, I just don't want to see you hurting. You're practically family. Every minute Luke was in the desert, you were with us. When we thought he died, you were with us. Please... at least do it for us? If you can't do it for Luke, will you do it for me?"

After a few moments, Kaylee reluctantly nodded, "I... I'll think about it."

I -- Scars Remain

Faith continuously reminded Kaylee that time would heal her, even if the scars remained. Those words resonated in the back of Kaylee's mind, sticking with her as she made every effort to get through the wounds of her past.

If it wasn't for Faith and Audrey, Kaylee didn't know where she would be right now. Aimlessly wandering half-naked and filthy in the back of some alley, maybe. Both girls were instrumental in getting Kaylee back on track, convincing her to go with the Patton family to see their counselor. She was terrified at first, but it became easier when she realized she could get everything off of her chest, talking to someone about her chaotic feelings and out of balance emotions. Even if Luke wasn't there. Kaylee even saw the counselor by herself. It took quite a few sessions, but gradually she felt her upside-down world beginning to turn right-side up.

Eventually she worked up the courage to try and talk to Luke. The only problem was, despite trying several times, Luke made it clear he didn't want anything to do with her. On two separate occasions, she motivated herself enough to drive down to his apartment. She knew he was home -- his Challenger was parked outside in his designated spot -- but despite ringing the doorbell repeatedly for ten minutes, he wouldn't answer the door. She left and sat in her Beamer, waiting several hours in case he left the apartment for a grocery run or a jog, or whatever. He never came out.

The second time, before she knocked on the door she could have sworn she heard someone inside. Still, after knocking he still didn't answer so she went back to her car to wait. Forty-five minutes later, Kaylee caught Luke coming outside just long enough to take the trash out. That confirmed it for sure... Luke was deliberately avoiding her.

Kaylee was crushed. Luke didn't want to see her, and short of knocking his door down and slapping some common sense into him there wasn't anything she could do anything about it. Besides, Faith hadn't convinced her that he wasn't still seeing that other girl.

---

"Kaylee, ohmygoshohmygosh, did you hear Steve and Mick are having another party?" Audrey's excitement was too much for Kaylee this early in the morning. Her coffee hadn't kicked in yet. Kaylee switched the phone to her other ear.

"It's over the Fourth of July!" That was just like Audrey, skipping all customary social greetings over the phone because of her unbridled excitement, like "Hello Kaylee!" or "Good morning, Kaylee!" Nope, just a bunch of "Oh my gosh's" sandwiched together with a shrieking voice.

"Um, so we're skipping the 'Hi'. I'm ok with that, but when's the last time you were this excited over a party, even if it is the Fourth? Is this about Steve? I thought you two were over," Kaylee asked. Covering the phone, she whispered across the table to Faith, "It's Audrey."

Faith smiled, holding her iced mocha with both of her hands and told Kaylee, "Tell her I said hi."

Audrey continued, "No... we are. Me and Steve are done, I mean. That's not why I called."

With one quick breath, Audrey rattled off, "Steve said Mick invited Cindy and that Cindy told Mick she ran into Luke at the grocery store and invited him to the party, which means Cindy is taking Luke to the party, and Cindy asked Luke if he had a girlfriend and he said no which means his Air Force girlfriend isn't his girlfriend anymore..." Coming up for air, she reiterated, "So of course we haaave to go."

Anyone other than Kaylee might have had a hard time understanding what she had just said, but fortunately, even without the kick of caffeine, Kaylee fluently spoke 'Audrese'.

The silence on the other end of the phone prompted Audrey to say, "Kaylee, hello?"

Faith didn't hear what Audrey told her, but judging by the half angry/half horrified look on her face, she knew Kaylee was ready to explode like a volcano.

After a few seconds of processing Audrey's words, Kaylee asked, "Cindy is taking Luke to the party? Did I hear you right?" Kaylee's shock was evident to both girls.

Faith almost choked on her drink, understanding the ramifications Kaylee was faced with.

Audrey replied, "Yes, but..."

As Kaylee slowly started to rise in her chair, she cut off Audrey and shouted, "That little slutbag is taking Luke to the party? Great... so he dumps the desert whore... for Cindy? Cindy treated him worse in high school than everyone else combined! He finally chooses to leave his apartment... to... to... Look, I was awful to him, I know, but Cindy took it to a whole new level. Why would she... and why would Luke..."

Turning to Faith, she blurted, "What the hell is wrong with your brother?"

Faith sat there motionless, but Audrey quickly interjected over the line, "Kaylee, throttle back, hon. As far as I can tell, it's not like they are dating -- yet, anyway. Luke's finally decided to go out in public, and the last thing you want is for Cindy to put the moves on him, right? That's why it's important we go to the party."

Slowly settling down, sinking back into her chair -- much to Faith's relief -- Kaylee took a deep breath and said, "Ok, maybe you're right. But Audrey, I'm warning you, I'll be there watching. If she even thinks of doing something to hurt Luke, I'll literally rip her head off."

Audrey snickered, "Literally? There you go again. Just go easy, killer."

Kaylee wasn't amused. "No, you don't get it, Audrey. Luke might be some military badass now, but he's still sweet and loving and trusting, and she has the potential to rip his heart out. I might have lost my chance to be with him, but even if he won't talk to me, I'm not going to stand by and watch him get hurt."

"I know, hon; no one is a better protector than you. Maybe you should just focus on what you'll wear to the party."

3: Scars Remain Ch. 02



Let me preface this story with thanks again to Random Librarian for editing. Don't expect any overt sex in this story. So you may have noticed Book One (Diary of a Loser) was a "high school" story. Book Two (Diary of an Underdog) was a "military overseas/homefront" story. So now Luke is home. That means Book Three (Diary of a Hero) is... well, you'll just have to read and find out. Enjoy!

II -- Phantoms of the Past

Everything felt so surreal as Kaylee watched Luke escorting Cindy by the arm into the wide-open patio area near the pool. Luke looked amazing. Even though he was wearing a faded dark t-shirt and simple cargo shorts, there was something about the way he carried himself that made him even sexier. She allowed herself a little smile, noticing his hair was styled exactly the way she'd taught him, not to mention the dark sunglasses he wore were the ones she bought for him some years back.

Her smile was short-lived, vanishing the moment she noticed a subtle smile appear on his face after Cindy laughed at a comment he casually said to her. It made her ill, the way she was clinging to him, swinging on his arm like she was already drunk.

Oh my gawd! Her acting skills still suck, just like in high school, Kaylee thought, her eyebrows narrowing and eyes smoldering.

She didn't want to admit it -- and would have denied it with her last breath, if asked -- but Cindy looked amazing, too. Her two-piece bikini left little to the imagination, even with the semitransparent swim wrap running diagonally across her legs. And she had the body to pull it off, too.

When Kaylee was younger, her vanity streak was so enormous that she thought she was easily hotter than Cindy -- or most other girls, in fact. But now she felt uncertain, almost threatened, comparing herself to the girl on Luke's arm.

Even though Kaylee still thought of herself as beautiful, she found herself looking down at her long tan legs, second guessing her body, wondering if she really looked as good as Cindy. She felt out of place in her extremely short white pleated miniskirt over her pink bikini bottoms, uncomfortable with revealing that much skin. Kaylee hadn't worn anything that short since high school.

There was only one reason why she wore something like that, or rather one person she wore it for. But he hadn't even so much as glanced her way.

She felt exposed; naked, even. She folded her arms in front of her chest, trying not to stare at Luke. She wondered why she even bothered showing up. Never in her life had she felt so insecure; her confidence was shot.

Kaylee wanted to leave, but before she had the chance she felt a hand gently grab her arm.

It was Audrey, and Faith was in tow. "Tequila sunrise. Thought you could use this," Audrey told her, handing her a drink.

Kaylee pried her eyes from Luke and Cindy, trying to act nonchalant. "Thanks," she said, taking a beach chair next to her.

She wasn't fooling her two best friends, and she knew it. She was waiting for a smartass remark from Audrey, but it never came. In fact, Audrey seemed unusually encouraging. Faith of course was always hopeful and happy, always encouraging her. Thanks to both of them, Kaylee decided against her better judgment to try and find the nerve to stick out the party.

Even if the night ended up being a complete disaster, at least she was with her two best friends. Even if one of them was the sister of the man that she could never have.

---

The touchy-feely interaction between Luke and Cindy -- mostly Cindy's hands all over Luke -- bothered Kaylee more than she cared to admit. She did her best to ignore the pair throughout the night, but she had a hard time stealing an occasional glance.

Aaron was at the party, and just like always he brought his camcorder, a much nicer upgrade than the one he had in high school. Luke managed to find the time to talk to him. He even socialized with his little sister Faith on two different occasions, but not once did she see Luke looking her way.

As the night progressed, she found herself becoming less timid and more upset with Luke. If he wants a slut like Cindy, then fine; he can have her, she thought. He's had his chance to talk to me. She only wished she had the courage to grab someone like she did with Mick the last time she was at the pool party; then maybe she'd get his attention.

Ok, so it was immature.

But she was desperate.

Kaylee sat up in the beach lounger, looking around the pool area, wondering if she could find Mick. She spotted him on the far side of the pool, along with at least five other guys. It looked like they were setting up the fireworks. There were tons of boxes against the fence and they were pulling out fireworks of all shapes and sizes by the handful, strategically placing them on the ground.

"Hey, I think they're going to start lighting the fireworks," Faith said, also noticing the guys huddled around the pyrotechnics.

Kaylee scoffed, "They're such children," even though she was secretly looking forward to the show.

Audrey followed up, "I know, right? They'd light off a turd if it was guaranteed to make a loud bang."

"Ewww!" Kaylee and Faith said in unison. The three girls giggled as they watched the guys line up the fireworks. Mick grabbed a punk and lit the fuse of three fireworks simultaneously.

Kaylee sadly glanced over at Luke, wishing they could have shared the night together; she would have given anything to sit between his legs on the lounge chair, lying back on his chest. Almost like when they went stargazing together, looking up at the constellations in the night sky. But that was such a long time ago.

"Here we go, first ones of the night," Faith said excitedly.

The fireworks launched straight up with a whistle, exploding into a myriad of colors.

BANG! BANG! BOOM!!

---

Luke jumped as he heard the deafening explosions of ordnance all around him; he reached for his rifle instinctively but it wasn't there. The explosion must have knocked his helmet off because he couldn't feel it on his head anymore. Luke heard artillery exploding so loudly his eardrums were vibrating. He felt his heart rate skyrocketing; with the hairs standing on the back of his neck, he could practically sense the enemy closing in.

He exclaimed loudly through the explosions in a deep guttural voice, "GET DOWN!"

Luke grabbed Cindy, forcing her down to the ground, covering her body with his.

After a few moments and a couple quick breaths, he realized everything around him became quiet -- eerily quiet. No more artillery, no more screaming enemies. Still hovering over Cindy, protecting her from the inbound mortars, he looked up.

Everyone was staring at him, frozen in place.

Gradually it sank in. Luke slowly became aware of what was going on around him, and what he had just done.

Fireworks. Not artillery, not inbound missiles or RPGs, not enemy fire. It was fucking fireworks.

He slowly stood up shaking off the cobwebs and looking around the poolside; except for a few initial drunken snickers in the background, nobody said a word. Most people looking at him were simply stunned at what had just happened.

Clenching his fists, he could feel the pure rage surging through his body, almost daring someone to laugh at him again; no one did. As embarrassed as he was, anger was a greater and much more powerful overriding force. Still, he wanted out of there as quickly as he could and was willing to tear apart anyone who stood in his way.

In a moment of compassion, Luke took a quick glance at Cindy, making sure she was ok. Her eyes were fixed on Luke, wide open like saucers. Her mouth hung open, clearly unsure of what to say. The important thing was she didn't appear to be hurt.

With the realization that she was ok, he took off at a brisk walk. Luke was gone before anyone at the party so much as moved a muscle.

---

"Whaaat..." one of the guys launching the fireworks barely got out, breaking the silence while still holding the lit punk in his hand.

Kaylee quickly stood up and snapped out of her stupor, exclaimed angrily across the pool, "Mick, WHAT THE FUCK!" It was obvious Mick and the others felt bad; they were just as stunned as everyone else. "S-sorry, I..." he stuttered, not sure what to say.

Faith had already bolted after her brother; Kaylee followed, reluctant that it took her so long to react. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Aaron setting his camcorder down to help Cindy up; Kaylee heard Cindy behind her, also running after Luke.

Before Kaylee made it to the driveway she heard the deafening roar of Luke's Challenger followed by screeching tires and the sound of thunder tearing down the road until the screaming machine faded off in the distance.

Faith wasn't fast enough, either; she had dropped to her knees and was crying. It took a lot to make Faith cry, but her brother's pain was on the top of the list. Kaylee ran her hands through her hair in disbelief of what had just happened. Cindy, Aaron, and Audrey arrived right behind her.

"Luke," Cindy whimpered softly, as if he could hear her despite the fact he was long gone and most likely tearing down the interstate.

Kaylee looked over at Cindy; she was surprised to find the expression on her face was one of genuine sorrow. This wasn't the same Cindy she remembered in high school. Maybe she had grown up; after all, Kaylee had. Well, a little, at least.

"Cindy, you're bleeding," Kaylee gasped, looking at her knees. Cindy looked down, apparently unaware both of her knees had been skinned up when Luke took her down to the concrete despite his efforts to protect her from an unseen force. It wasn't serious, but Aaron still ran back to the house to find a medical kit.

"Are you ok," Kaylee asked.

"I... yeah, I think so. I didn't even know I was bleeding. What... what just happened," Cindy questioned with tears in her eyes, apparently as confused as everyone else. She didn't seem to be concerned with the scrapes and bruises on her knees; she seemed legitimately concerned about Luke instead. Everyone knew what had happened, but they were still processing the event that unfolded before them.

"I don't know," Kaylee whispered.

Kaylee was a whirlwind of emotions. She felt an incredible sadness for Luke, and was on the verge of tears herself. It took everything inside her to hold them back. She was angry Luke didn't approach her earlier that evening. Who was she fooling; she was angry at herself for not approaching Luke, even though he was with Cindy. At a minimum, they were still friends, weren't they? But she didn't act like one. Once again, she screwed up and was kicking herself. It seemed like an ugly trend with her that she couldn't break free of. No wonder Luke left her for another girl.

But that was nothing compared to whatever the hell had just happened to Luke. The fact that Luke snapped, yet still had the presence of mind to cover and protect Cindy, was nothing short of amazing. In a twisted kind of way, she was jealous of Cindy. But more than being jealous, she was concerned for her friend and his mental state of being. It was clear he still had demons haunting him; demons he tried to hide but had surfaced in an ugly way. Luke wasn't out of the woods, not even close.

---

III -- Always Only You

Blow after blow landed squarely on the punching bag as Nickelback blared in the background; it wasn't typical of what Luke normally listened to, but it was perfect for his boxing workout. Two soft left jabs followed by a powerful right cross rocked the bag when he heard something behind him. Spinning around quickly, Luke cocked his right fist back and brought his left up, ready to decimate the intruder.

Fortunately, Kaylee was standing out of striking distance and Luke recognized her in the nick of time; she jumped back, absolutely terrified by his response.

Still, her jaw dropped; he looked amazingly hot. She might have watched him all day if he didn't snap her back to reality. Luke's muscles rippled through his sweaty black tank top, a far cry from the scrawny kid in high school she once knew. In fact, he looked even bigger and stronger then when he originally left to join the Air Force.

His adrenaline spike from the surprise visitor was wearing off. Luke took off his boxing gloves and wrist wraps, looking irritated at Kaylee. He turned down the music and took a quick swig from his water bottle.

"Normally I'd say your timing was good since I was getting ready to take a short break, but I have a feeling this will be anything but short," Luke said curtly. "By the way, don't ever sneak up on me like that again. I could have hurt you. How did you get in?"

Kaylee winced. "I... talked the apartment manager into letting me in. I kind of lied, told him I was your fiancée and locked myself out, and that you couldn't hear me since you were working out." Her wincing intensified as she reluctantly said, "And he wanted me to remind you that your music was too loud and to turn it down. I tried to smooth it over, though."

Before Luke could say anything, Kaylee lowered her voice and whispered, "Luke, what happened?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. Even after you took off, like I was some kind of leper, I still pursued you week after week. But you kept me shut out. And now you want to finally talk? Sorry, the moment has passed. I'm just not up for it," he snapped.

It was clear that Kaylee was hurt. This wasn't the old Luke that she knew. She was intimidated by him, and for a second she actually thought about leaving. Instead, she straightened up her posture. She had already run away from him when he needed her the most; she wasn't going to do it again.

"I meant what happened at the party."

Luke said, almost with a growl, "I don't want to talk about it."

Kaylee said, "Ok, we can avoid that topic for now. I'll do some of the talking. Let me just say I am so, so sorry. I know you are probably getting sick of my apologies. I never should have run from you when you came home; you deserved a better welcome home than that. Trust me; I had a much better welcome home in mind."

If Kaylee didn't know any better, she could have sworn Luke tried to stifle a smile when she said that.

Luke sighed, placing his hand on his bad shoulder, rotating it gently so he could work out the kinks in the muscle. She wondered if maybe she found a chink in his armor as he said, "Kaylee, you don't have to apologize, especially after the last email I sent you. I won't lie to you; it hurt me that you kissed me and then just took off and wouldn't return any of my calls or even open the door for me. But I know I hurt you even worse before that happened, so I guess I can't really blame you."

Kaylee looked down, pivoting her toe on the ground back and forth, sniffing, "I'm over it now, Luke, and I just want you to know that. That wasn't why I ran from you. I ran because... well, because I was scared. I thought you were dead, for weeks, and then suddenly you were back! Just like that. Luke, I... I didn't know if I could take something like that again. I almost lost you twice. That was why I ran. I know it's not an excuse, and not what you deserved, but... I can't deal with the pain of losing you. It's selfish, I know, but I just wanted you to understand why I did what I did."

Kaylee sucked her breath in. "But," she added, trying to look him in the eyes so he could see her commitment, "As always, I had to learn the hard way. I know it hurt you, and it also hurt me. All I can do is promise I'll stand by you, no matter what. For the rest of my life, if that's what it takes."

Luke listened intently, but his face was hard to read. For a moment, he made eye contact with her, but just as quickly he broke it off. Kaylee wasn't sure why; it was almost as if she intimidated him or scared him. Luke, scared? After everything he went through? That didn't seem likely.

"By the way," Kaylee asked, nodding towards his shoulder, "How's it feeling? How's the physical therapy?"

A wry smile appeared on his face, "It reminds me of when you first started training me to weightlift. It absolutely sucks, and it's excruciating."

Kaylee laughed, "Well, if you ever need help, I'll be more than glad to help make you suffer."

"I bet you would, too," Luke smiled. He added, "I always knew you had a dominatrix side."

Kaylee tossed her hair back, flirting with Luke, "I would look great in leather and fishnets, wouldn't I? Guess there's only one way for you to find out, cowboy." The soft moan escaping from his lips reminded her how much she missed the playful banter with Luke. She could tell he was reluctant about everything, but at least he was slowly opening up to her, just enough to give her hope.

Gritting his teeth, he said, "It's frustrating. I can't lift more than five pounds over my head with my left arm right now."

"You'll get it, Luke. You've never given up at anything," Kaylee said with a soft voice, intentionally trying to encourage him and soothe his anger.

It seemed to work; at least a little, anyway. Luke seemed to calm down a notch, taking another drink from his water bottle.

"You even protected Cindy. It was your natural instinct; it shows your one of the good guys. Well, more than that. It shows you're an amazing man, an amazing human being."

Luke glanced at her as if to give her a warning, reminding her he wanted no further discussion about what had happened, but he softened up.

Her mood changed and her eyes narrowed as she took the offensive, "By the way... Cindy? Really? CINDY? Were you trying to piss me off?"

Luke looked at her sheepishly, as if caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "It's not like that. I didn't even want to go, but Cindy was kind of persistent. I told her I wasn't feeling up to it at least three or four times before I finally caved. I figured I needed out of the apartment anyway."

Kaylee said, "But she was..."

Luke stopped her in mid sentence, "I know she was horrible to me in high school, but this time she seemed okay. And I can forgive and forget; high school was a long time ago. We're adults now. What's the worst that she could have done to me? Take away my birthday? Hurt my feelings? It's kind of hard to hurt me when I didn't even consider it a date. That being said, I wasn't expecting to see you there. I felt horrible when I saw you, and realized how it must have looked." He winced as he said, "She was a little clingy; that didn't help, I'm sure. Anyway, I wanted to come over and talk to you, but I couldn't work up the courage. I know how you felt about Cindy. I... uh, I'm sorry for that. Not my best judgment. I really wasn't trying to hurt you."

He took a deep breath. "Speaking of hurting you: I guess I can relate to you running away. I kind of did the same thing to you. Running away, I mean. It's just... my method was a little more covert and sneaky."

She looked puzzled, "What do you mean?"

Running his hand over the back of his head, he looked her in the eye and told her, "There was no other girl. There was only you. There was always only you."

Kaylee was stunned, but at the same there was a great sense of euphoria as he said those words, even though she didn't exactly know what he meant. Always only you resonated in her head, over and over, making it hard for her to focus.

"I..." Luke began, trying to form his words as a guilty look flashed across his face, "I didn't want you hurt. That email, the one where I told you I was seeing someone else. I made that up, against my better judgment."

"LUKE! Wh... why would you do something like that? What do you mean you didn't want me hurt? That email was exactly what hurt me!"




3: Scars Remain Ch. 02



Luke held up his hand, "Just hear me out. You and I were getting too close to each other, and I just found out we were undergoing a major military operation putting all of our lives at risk. Even if I made it through that one, what about the next? Or the one after that? My job is just too dangerous. Every Airman at one time or another questions his own mortality, wondering what would happen to his family and friends back home if he died. I thought if we broke up... well, it would hurt much less when I came home in a body bag. Just know that I am sorry. I am SO sorry, Kaylee. You deserved better than that; better than me."

Kaylee scowled, "First of all, don't you dare talk like that, about deserving better than you. That's bullshit. Secondly, I thought you were coming home in... in a body bag. I thought you died, Luke!" Kaylee angrily moved towards Luke, becoming louder and louder, "And no, it didn't hurt less! If anything, it made it worse because if you would have died, I would have lived the rest of my life thinking that you didn't love me because you found someone else to replace me. If you had died, I would at least rather know that you loved me instead of rejected me, so I could keep all those meaningful, wonderful memories we shared for the rest of my life!"

Screaming and crying, she hit Luke on the chest with her firsts and said, "I didn't think I would have a chance to talk to you again like this, and tell you in person how much I love you, you big jerk!"

Kaylee knew that Luke intentionally let her hit him the first couple of times either because, ever being the gentleman, he wanted Kaylee to vent out her anger and frustration, or else because he thought he deserved it.

He grabbed her fists in mid-air and she instinctively tried to pull away. Luke pulled her towards him and enveloped her in a tight embrace.

Luke didn't say a word; maybe he wasn't sure what to say. He gently rocked her back and forth like a baby, hushing her softly, leaning down to press his cheek against hers.

He finally spoke, his words softly falling upon her ears, "It took courage for you to come over. Thank you for coming back. I've missed you; more than you could imagine."

Kaylee held him tightly, burying her face in his chest. With a quiet, muffled voice, she whispered to him, "I've missed you too. I'm not running away from you again, Luke. Not ever."

---

It wasn't easy dragging Luke out of his apartment, but Kaylee succeeded. It took her over a week of coaxing him and chipping away at his hard exterior to get him to leave, and even then she had to promise no one else would go with them and no surprises.

Most of the time Kaylee simply took him to dinner, usually to his favorite Teriyaki restaurant. He knew she loved Texas Roadhouse so on more than one occasion, for her sake, they often found themselves at her favorite restaurant. More than once the two found themselves in the middle of a peanut war, flicking peanut shells at each other underneath the table, almost laughing so hard Kaylee thought they might get kicked out.

The only thing Luke ever insisted on was eating either very early or very late. Picking up on the fact that Luke didn't mind the location -- he minded the big crowds -- Kaylee decided driving through the countryside, hiking in the woods or going to the movie theaters would be nice and quiet options for future endeavors.

Luke always let Kaylee choose the movies. "Let" was a strong word, really; Kaylee was bound and determined to make sure the movie had absolutely zero violence in it whether he liked it or not. It could be a cartoon featuring a coyote making a feeble attempt to drop an anvil on a roadrunner for all she cared; if there was violence, then it violated her unspoken rule and thus became off limits. If Curly tried to gouge out Moe's eyes, even if it was blocked with four straight fingers all in a row, it was still off limits. If the movie featured so much as a ninja turtle holding a sword or a semi that changed into a gun-wielding robot and back... off limits.

Needless to say, her strict policy didn't leave them many options. Select comedies and romance movies were the extent of their limited selection.

Her time with Luke wasn't exactly a typical date-like experience to Kaylee; there was more of a rehabilitation feel to their outings. And she really didn't mind as long as it helped Luke. He didn't say much. In fact, he let her do most if not all of the talking.

It took her a couple movies to understand he really did enjoy her company despite his silence, and that his quiet demeanor wasn't out of boredom or depression but rather some kind of heightened alert, as if guarding himself against everything in his surroundings. The only time he seemed to let his guard down, if only just a fraction, was when Kaylee would lightly run her fingernails across the back of his head.

Needless to say, Kaylee always had her hand on the back of his head, his hair too short to twirl with her fingers yet the rhythmic light scratching on his scalp nearly put him to sleep in the theater every time.

Their latest movie ended, and Luke did fall asleep the last half hour. Embarrassed, he apologized profusely to Kaylee but she laughed it off knowing she was the cause of it anyway. As Luke headed off towards the restrooms, Kaylee felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, surprised to see Cindy.

Kaylee half expected Cindy to crank back and slap her, so her surprise was intensified as she saw something of a sheepish smile on Cindy's face.

"How's he doing," Cindy whispered to her, nodding towards the restrooms. Kaylee guessed Cindy deliberately waited for Luke to leave before approaching. "I haven't seen him, or you, since... since the Fourth of July party."

Kaylee was very careful, analyzing Cindy's body language and every word she spoke, half-suspecting she was being set up. But Cindy seemed to have a genuine look of concern on her face. Kaylee was hesitant, wondering if Cindy had some kind of trick up her sleeve, but she was generally good at reading people and trusted her instinct. And her instincts told her Cindy was really being sincere.

"Well, he's doing better," Kaylee said, "But honestly, I'm scared to death of what might happen again. He's good at physical therapy and working his shoulder, but we always end up fighting whenever I mention counseling. Well, let me rephrase that. It's not exactly fighting; two people have to make an effort to fight. He simply turns and leaves the room whenever I bring it up. He can be so stubborn sometimes."

"Well," Cindy smiled, "Don't give up on him. Drag him if you have to; if anyone can get him to go, it's you." Her smile turned into a look of regret as she said, "I'm sorry for what I did; my judgment and morality around attractive men has always been awful, and the days of Loser Luke obviously ended a long time ago."

The only thing that stopped Kaylee from punching Cindy in the face was her look of remorse.

"I should rephrase that; he never was a loser, we were just stupid and blinded by our own insecurities and shallow lives. And I was the worst. Anyway, I knew you two were broken up, and I didn't mind at all being his rebound girl -- I was kind of hoping to actually -- which is why I asked him to the Fourth of July party. So don't be hard on him for that; I pushed him into it. I should have known he'd never leave you for me."

Kaylee looked shocked. "W-what do you mean, 'Leave you for me'? He kind of left both of us at that party. I had to chase him down and make him submit just to get him out in public again; we're not really together-together, as much as I wish we were."

"Oh, please," Cindy said, not believing her for a second. "You didn't see him staring at you at the party? He was trying to be subtle, but wasn't doing a very good job of it."

Raising an eyebrow, Kaylee protested, "No he wasn't; I would have caught him if he was."

Cindy rolled her eyes and laughed, "Then maybe you were off of your game. Remember he was supposed to be with me at the party? What girl wouldn't notice the straying eyes of the guy she was with? He wasn't eyeing Audrey, and he certainly wasn't eyeing his own sister. So who does that leave?"

Continuing, Cindy sighed, "I'm surprised he even escorted me to the party, as much of a bitch as I was to him in high school. And despite everything that happened to him, his instinct was to protect me from harm, shielding me with his body from whatever ghosts or demons he thought were after him. He even made sure I was okay before he took off. No guy has ever done anything like that for me before."

Goosebumps covered Kaylee as Cindy spoke about Luke. Kaylee told her, "Yeah, I can relate. I guess he is something of a 'Bitch Whisperer'. It's like 'Taming of the Shrew', and all. Shakespeare would be proud. How he's somehow managed to soften both me and you... I have no idea how he was able to do it."

Cindy let out a soft giggle, but she turned around to make sure Luke hadn't come out of the restroom yet. Kaylee wasn't certain but it looked like Cindy's eyes were misting up. "I'm sorry for everything. I wouldn't admit it before, but you deserve him. You're a lucky girl, Kaylee. Take care of him."

Kaylee smiled in return, "Thanks... I will. You take care too, Cindy." Cindy nodded, making an effort to give her best smile despite her evident wounds, leaving quickly before Luke returned.

IV -- In Too Deep

---

When Kaylee decided to take Luke to the Botanical Gardens, she had hoped it might give him at least a sliver of peace and quiet. As she walked with him, hand in hand, noticing out of the corner of her eye a peaceful and serene demeanor to Luke, she wasn't disappointed.

It was a workday and she was forced to skip classes, but she was counting on very few people in the gardens and the opportunity for both of them to find a way to shut the world out even if it was only temporarily. Especially Luke.

With wonderment, Kaylee stole another glance at him while their hands swung with each step. His hard look she had come to know was replaced with a soft gaze peacefully taking in the beauty around him. Occasionally passing exceptionally decorated areas of the brightest and most vibrant flowers, Kaylee noticed Luke lean in to inhale the sweet fragrance every once in a while.

It reminded her of the old Luke. She hadn't seen him in so long.

Her heart fluttered, but she remained quiet, desperately hoping she wouldn't spook him or say something stupid.

As they began to walk along the small pathway surrounded by Japanese cherry blossom trees, a gentle breeze blew, delicately carrying pink and white petals across their path. Kaylee smiled, feeling the warm sun on her body and the cool wind touching her skin, the contrasting sensations giving her goose bumps. It was just beautiful; absolutely beautiful. The floating flower petals must have been summertime's version of falling snowflakes.

Luke reached his hand out, gently taking a petal out of the air. He carefully looked at it, as if he was memorizing every little detail, how the pure white petal gradually turned into a beautiful pink. He turned it over, studying the other side.

"Beauty for ashes," Luke whispered, looking at the petal.

"What," Kaylee asked him quietly, still holding his hand. He hadn't said a single word in hours. Now, with three simple words, he had her attention.

"It's from Isaiah 61:3," Luke murmured quietly. He quoted, "'to all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.' I had a lot of time to read the Bible, while I was... you know. Over there." Luke turned to look at Kaylee. He gave her a weak but peaceful smile.

Taking Kaylee by the hand, he led her to a park bench under one of the cherry blossom trees and sat down with her. Kaylee scooted closer to him, lifting his arm up and around her shoulder, but still looking at him with her bright blue eyes, focused on every word.

"I think what it means," Luke continued, "is healing and grace can come from sadness and pain. Maybe the worse you hurt, the more you can heal. The greater the damage, there is that much more you can be restored."

Luke shrugged. He held Kaylee tight, took a deep breath, and looked up into the bright blue sky. His body seemed relaxed. "I guess I haven't seen it yet, so it's hard for me to believe. Then again, I should be dead right now but through a miracle of God, I'm here."

Kaylee wasn't sure what to say. She knew there should have been some kind of response, or words of wisdom to comfort him, but she was at a loss. He was right; he should have been dead. She simply squeezed his hand and leaned into him deeper, snuggling up against his body, immensely appreciating the very fact that she could snuggle with him since he was here and alive.

It was simply amazing that Luke was opening up to her. She was determined to wait as long as it took, and she felt like maybe her patience was finally paying off. She'd be there for him, no matter what.

Luke took a deep breath and said, "Kaylee, I'm crazy about you; I always have been, and I always will. I hope you know that." Kaylee smiled brightly and nodded. "Of course, honey! And I'm just as crazy about you!"

She noticed her smile was met with a look of sadness. Luke reluctantly continued, "But we can't do this. This is something I have to do myself. I've caused you enough pain, so I really don't have a choice on this one. I won't drag you down with me; you've suffered enough."

"Wait," she said, stunned, trying to take in Luke's out-of-the-blue comment. "Where is this coming from? Are you saying you want to break up with me?" Her heart skipped a beat. In fact, it felt like her heart had stopped altogether. She finally realized they were still together, and now he was trying to end it. She was willing to endure the long run, but he wasn't going to let her.

He turned away, clearly unable to look her in the eyes, and nodded. Luke sighed, "My head isn't on straight. I can't sleep, I can barely eat, and I can't shake what I saw out there. My, my frien..." Luke stopped himself, burying his head in his hands. He started again, "I'm not going to drag you into this, Kaylee. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. You've been amazing; you always were amazing and so much more than I deserved. I always knew you'd bring some lucky guy tons of happiness, ever since I first laid eyes on you. But we can't keep doing this, and I refuse to hurt you anymore. You deserve better."

Luke unknowingly devastated her by adding the final blow, "You shouldn't be with me; this was all a mistake."

It was as if he meant everything about them was a mistake. Never before had words winded her so much, as if he punched her in the stomach.

Her initial shock and heartbreak quickly turned into anger over such stupid words. For a genius, Luke sometimes said incredibly moronic things.

"Luke, you don't get to tell me what to do," she responded defiantly, sitting up on the park bench. Pointing her finger at Luke, she snarled, "And you don't get to decide to break up with me. Not like this, Luke Patton! If you want to leave me because I'm a... a bitch, or stubborn, or spoiled or whatever, then fine. But if you want to leave me because you think that I can't handle walking side by side with you, then forget it! You might have been alone over there, but you're not alone over here, and you're not doing this alone."

He recoiled as if she was a serpent ready to strike; he clearly wasn't expecting a response like this. "Kaylee, no. You've helped me enough, and you've stayed with me longer than anyone else possibly could have. But you have to move on; you still have a chance for happiness in your future. I'm not the same Luke you once knew. I've... I've done things. Unforgiveable things..." Luke choked, unable to finish. Kaylee put her hand on his back, rubbing softly in hopes of calming him down. Clearing his throat, he bore down and continued, "I've never put my foot down with you before, but I..."

"My ass you will! The only foot that's gonna be put anywhere is mine... and guess where! If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be some selfish, immature, shallow bitch that only cared about herself, destined to follow in my parents footsteps. You have no idea how you've made me a better person, capable of feelings and emotions that I didn't even realize existed within me." Kaylee cried, "You're my world, Luke! There is nothing you could do that I couldn't forgive. It's my choice to stay with you. And as selfish as that sounds, it's the other way around, too. You need me just like I need you! And I know you love me, despite the fact you can barely say those three little words."

"Kaylee, I..."

"No," she interrupted; she wasn't about to back down when she had him on the ropes.

She must have sensed his thoughts, because she forced herself to calm down and delicately told him, "We're practically one, Luke. Whatever affects you affects me, and burying your head in the sand won't change that."

He made one last attempt to push her away. Luke shook his head, barely keeping the tears in his eyes from falling as he said, "Kaylee, I'm sorry. My mind is made up."

He tried to stand up and leave, but before he could, Kaylee aggressively pulled him back down on the bench.

Scooting up closer to him, her nose inches away from his, she looked into his eyes and breathlessly whispered, "Fine. Then kiss me."

"What?"

"You heard me. Kiss me. If you can kiss me, and your heart tells you that you can actually leave me, then fine. Go. But you have to kiss me first."

Luke tried to avoid her stare but Kaylee tenderly stopped his head from turning away, bringing it back to her with two fingers gently upon his chin. Luke made a mistake, daring to look into her misty eyes.

He found a tremendous amount of love, her gaze soft, but somewhere in the depths of her eyes he could also see pain. It scared him, how much she was hiding the hurt. He knew he should have let her go a long time ago, but now it was too late. She was already in too deep and there was no way to avoid hurting her. His pain was also her pain.

Somehow the love overrode the pain; it had to, as patient as she was. Those beautiful big, blue eyes calmly awaited his answer. Her full red lips anticipated the touch from his own.

"You're cheating," his whispered with a husky voice.

There was no turning back and Kaylee was willing to do whatever it took to keep him. She was in over her head. It was as if she blindly waded into the ocean after Luke, pulled under by the crashing waves.

Kaylee leaned forward, her lips coming within inches of his. She knew Luke could feel the warmth of her breath on his lips; he was weakening, she could see it in his eyes. Kaylee stopped just before her lips touched his. Instead, she pulled back slightly, tilting her head to the side. Her nose barely touched his, just enough to create a spark of passion between them.

An endearing but haughty smile subtly appeared on her face. "You're right," she said with a raspy voice, "I am. So kiss me already."

The desire was overwhelming; Luke wanted to take her right there on the park bench. She was teasing him mercilessly, and she knew it.

Kaylee leaned in again and for a second time, fully aware she was torturing poor Luke, stopped her lips just before engaging his.

His face was red, his breathing sharpened, and everything inside him told him to get up and run. But his legs had to work first.

Luke caved.

With one hand carefully caressing her cheek and his other gently on the nape of her neck, he pulled her in and kissed her.




3: Scars Remain Ch. 02



A moan escaped from her body as she nearly fainted. The kiss was pure passion. Even though there was a strong element of animal lust, it went well beyond that. All of his love poured into her through his one single kiss, his tongue dancing with hers. Luke pulled her into his chest, drawing her body closer to his.

"Oh my, Luke," she panted, placing her hands upon his chest. She tried to look into his eyes again, but her poise and self-assurance was gone. He made her melt completely, and she didn't know if she could hold him back. If he wanted more, she knew she'd be powerless to stop him from claiming whatever he desired. All games of making Luke resist were officially over; she just hoped he wouldn't do the same to her.

Kaylee prayed in her head over and over, please God let him stay, please God let him stay, please God let him stay...

Luke made eye contact with her again, but this time he was searching for something.

Kaylee took a deep breath, waiting for him to respond.

It looked like Luke was starting to stand up.

No no no no! Kaylee screamed inside her head, simultaneously holding her breath. When she realized he simply shifted his position on the bench, sliding one leg up against the wooden backstop and scooting back against the steel armrest, she exhaled with relief.

Luke held his arms out, beckoning Kaylee to sit in his lap.

The smile on Kaylee's face lit up the entire park. Without hesitation, she sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around him.

She'd won. Her kiss had worked. No, not her kiss... their kiss. Their love.

"That wasn't fair," Luke scolded her.

"Uh huh, was so," she said in her child-like voice, snuggling into his body.

Luke stifled a laugh and said, "Don't get cocky." That made her smile even more.

"Kaylee, do you remember when I had my car accident a few years back," Luke asked her.

"Don't remind me," she snickered. "Of course I remember. I didn't think things would ever get worse than that. That was before your deployment... the helicopter crash. Clearly I was wrong. Things did get worse. A lot worse."

Luke smiled bashfully, "Yeah, about that. I made you two promises that day. The first was that I'd never be in another vehicle accident. I should have said automobile accident. We both know how well that promise went."

Kaylee scowled at him, clearly finding no humor in that fact that he survived not just a car crash, but somehow survived being trapped inside a flaming metal tube falling out of the sky. As if he could read the expression on her face, he nodded and said, "You don't even have to say it; I know I'm almost out of my nine lives."

He continued, "The second promise was that I would hold you on my lap. It might have taken a couple of years to get there, but at least that promise I can keep."

A guilty feeling swept over Kaylee, recalling how she left Luke a really nasty voicemail, foolishly thinking he stood her up when in fact he was in a car accident. That night he promised to hold her in his lap, moments before he heard the horrible message on the phone.

Everything changed after that.

"I'm counting my blessings. Even though you were late, and even though it was probably my fault," she giggled, knowing full well it was entirely her fault, "I'm glad you could keep this promise. You're one for two I guess."

Luke laughed.

Both of them peacefully sat on the bench, simply enjoying each other's company without a single word needing to be said. They simply enjoyed the warm embrace and the mere presence of the other.

"Kaylee," Luke said.

"Yes, baby?"

"I... I love you more than anything. I should tell you that more often, because it's how I feel every second of every day. I'd be honored to have you by my side as I fight these demons."

She smiled, but her smile quickly went away when his tone became more serious and he continued talking.

"I want you to know, if anything goes wrong, or if you get hurt -- and I don't care if it's physically, emotionally, or mentally -- we're done. I promised you I'd always protect you the best way that I could. I've protected you from others. I've protected you from yourself. I've even protected you while I fought overseas. If I have to, Kaylee, I'll protect you from me."

Kaylee felt an uncomfortable chill run down her spine as he said that, goose bumps covering her entire body. "That's not going to happen," she whispered, nestling herself deeper into his lap, holding his arms around her body.

Luke responded by leaning down and kissing her forehead.

"I hope not, but it's a promise."



3: Scars Remain Ch. 03



V -- Beauty And The Beast

Frustration had been building up in Kaylee for the last several weeks. The unusually grey skies and relentless rain over Northern California seemed to make her temperament even worse.

Of course it didn't help that, despite helping Luke take baby steps in his journey towards recovery, he still refused to get help. It wasn't until a serious no-holds-barred argument that she made it crystal clear to Luke that she wasn't about to back down. She had never torn into Luke with as much ferocity as she did when it came to getting him back to the counselor, and it was enough to begrudgingly convince him to go.

"Promise me," she said, brushing her bangs out of her face, pacing back and forth in her apartment refusing to take her eyes off of Luke. Arguing with him had built up quite a sweat.

Luke glared at her. He wasn't happy. "Don't push it," he snapped back. "I said I would go, period."

"Promise," she exclaimed forcefully, refusing to back down. She'd stand toe-to-toe with him if she had to.

Luke sighed angrily. He gave in, just to avoid arguing. "Ok, fine. Promise."

At first Kaylee was thrilled, but there was something on Luke's face that stunted her excitement. He seemed reluctant, or maybe it was uncertainty. Luke was never uncertain.

It occurred to her that she might have pushed him too hard in an effort to get her way, even if her way was the right way and more importantly the most beneficial for Luke. He needed to get help, but she worried she may have browbeat him harder than she needed to.

Luke abruptly turned away from her. "I'm gonna go lift. Need to work on my shoulder," he said, briskly walking down the hall to her exercise room. He wasn't exactly sulking, but he looked tired, as if he was ready to throw the towel in not just on their argument but on everything. Which was very uncharacteristic of him.

She couldn't help but feel bad. She scampered after him, placing a hand on his shoulder, gently turning him to face her. "Wait up, cowboy!"

Before he knew what was happening, she caressed his face and planted her lips on his. The kiss was electric. She knew it was for Luke because of the surprised look in his eyes; for her, it was simply because it was always electric whenever they kissed.

"I'm sorry," she pouted in her best baby voice. She knew he couldn't resist her, especially when she talked like that, but the truth was she wasn't stringing him along. She was serious, and her apology was serious. Wrapping her arms around a stunned Luke, she kissed his chest and nuzzled against him. Kaylee practically purred when she felt Luke stroke her head, lightly running his fingers through her hair.

With her eyes closed, enjoying the physical touch from Luke's fingers, she sighed, "I shouldn't have been so hard on you. It's just that... well, I want to protect you, too. The same way you've always protected me. Let me do that, please?"

"I guess it's only fair," Luke said, trying not to let her see a small upward curve of his lip. "Do you want to go see a movie? I guess I can work out later," he asked her.

Kaylee squeezed him even tighter. He was always thinking about her, and she loved that. "I'd love to! I just want to be with you right now, wherever that might take me."

---

"Slow down, Luke! We're not even late," Kaylee screamed, reaching for the dashboard after being thrown back against her seat, clearly startled as Luke gunned it down the freeway ramp.

That brat! It was intentional, too; he deliberately slowed to five miles per hour at the base of the ramp before slamming the accelerator and throwing it into third, fifth, and then sixth gear within mere seconds.

Clutching his leg, she bit her lip and said, "You know I hate it when you do that."

"It's not like we're going to go back in time; this model came without the flux capacitor. Besides, I'm not speeding. I just got to seventy-five real fast. That's our legal interstate speed limit," he said calmly as the screaming Challenger soared. "Ok, so maybe I'm five or ten over. That doesn't change the fact that you love it when I do that; we both know it turns you on, baby!"

Kaylee tried to stifle a giggle; there was no way she'd let Luke know he was right. "'Turns me on, baby'? What happened to the shy boy when we first started dating our senior year, the one who wouldn't dream it was possible to say something like that, let alone recklessly break the speed limit?"

Luke shrugged, "Don't know. I guess I've changed a lot. Do you miss him?"

Kaylee thought for a moment before smiling, "Yes... but no. It's like your mom always says, 'God made you to be you, so don't be anyone else', and I think she's right. You'll always be you, even if some of your habits have changed, and even if your confidence has grown. I don't care if you drive fast today or slow tomorrow, you're still the man I love. The one thing I ask you don't change is your love for me, Luke Patton."

Luke glanced over as if she was crazy. "Impossible. I never could do that," he said bluntly, as if it was a hard and fast fact that she should have known.

Of course, she already knew that, but she liked hearing it anyway.

"Wait, where are you going," Kaylee asked, looking out the window at the exit Luke passed. "You just missed our exit."

"We're going to a different movie theater," he said.

Perplexed, Kaylee tried to read his face in an attempt to figure out his angle. Luke simply smiled; they both knew he had her on her toes.

Several minutes later, Luke pulled in to a drive-in theater.

"I didn't even know we had a drive-in! How long as this been here?"

"A while, as far as I know," Luke replied.

"Well, you're lucky it stopped raining this morning. So, why a drive-in, Mr. Patton," Kaylee asked with a raised eyebrow and a seductive look in her eyes. "Does someone have dishonorable intentions?"

A devious smile appeared on Luke's face, "If you make me watch one more chick flick, I figured maybe I could turn it into a positive thing. Did you notice the blankets in the back seat?"

Kaylee's eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. She turned around to look in the back seat, but nothing was back there. She hit Luke's shoulder. "You tease! Don't you dare lie to me again! Especially about that. You already know how I feel..."

Luke laughed, "Sorry. That doesn't mean I won't slide the seat back and put you on my lap."

"Mmm, I like that," Kaylee moaned.

Luke parked the car and opened his door. "I'm going to hit the concession stand. You want anything?"

"I'm not sure. I'll go with you; it will give me a chance to stretch my legs. I thought my muscles were going to seize up on me the way you hit the ramp," she said, getting out of the car.

Taking Luke's hand in hers, she said, "This place is kind of old, but it's nice. I didn't think these things still existed. I'm also surprised how many people are here." Kaylee took note of all the other people at the drive-in, most of which were teenagers or young twenty-something's. Over half of the lot was full and several more vehicles were still trickling in. Even the concession stand line was surprisingly long.

Kaylee blushed, "You're sneaky and conniving, Luke Patton, but I'm kind of looking forward to our... um, to when the movie starts."

Luke snickered, "Me too. I love you, Kaylee Reed."

Her heart fluttered. It wasn't often she got the big 'I love you' from Luke, so she treasured each and every time he said it. If she had a way to record those three little words, she'd play them over and over every minute of every day.

Leaning in towards Luke, she kissed his cheek.

Kaylee fully intended on confessing her love for him in return, thinking of the best way to deliver 'I love you, too' back. But before she could, a thunderous BOOM went up as one of the cars driving past them backfired.

Luke jumped, but immediately tugged Kaylee's hand and pulled her downwards, covering her body with his as he crouched down low. He wrapped both arms around her tightly in a protective bear hug.

Holy shit!

Kaylee thought fearfully, Not again! This can't be happening!!

He yelled at Kaylee, "Stay down!"

Kaylee could hear him grunting through rapid short breaths. She tried loosening herself in his arms despite his iron grip, barely managing to twist her body so she could face him. His eyes were squinting tightly and his jaw was clenched; his entire body was shaking but he held his position firm, protecting Kaylee. He was reaching for something, desperately grabbing for something that wasn't there -- she guessed he thought he was reaching for his sidearm.

She could feel the eyes of everyone in line upon them. A couple of guys were even laughing.

Embarrassment wasn't even a consideration for Kaylee; it never even occurred to her. The old Kaylee would have died from humiliation, but since she met Luke, he impacted her life so much that anyone staring and laughing -- specifically at her -- didn't bother her.

What bothered her was the staring and laughing at Luke; her face grew red with explosive anger. It took all she had to ignore them and instead focus on Luke, who needed her badly.

"Luke, it's ok," she wheezed out calmly, trying to breathe, his strong arms still wrapped tightly around her. He relaxed his grip just enough for her to raise her hand and gently place it on his cheek. "Look at me, Luke," she whispered, breathing a little easier.

It felt like she was trying to tame a wild beast. She didn't know if she could do it, but she would stop at nothing to get him to snap out of it and bring him back to reality. Luke began to shake harder, and started to stand up frantically. An intense rage lit up his eyes in a way that Kaylee had never seen before; he let loose a guttural growl, almost as if he was possessed.

Moving in closer, her nose within inches of his, Kaylee desperately placed both of her hands on his face and raised her voice just enough to get his attention, "Luke, Luke, Luke! Look at me, baby."

Luke dropped back down to his knees, still shaking and confused. He momentarily glanced at Kaylee; it was as if he didn't recognize her.

One of the onlookers laughed, "What the fuck is his problem?"

"Holy shit, are you seeing this," another chuckled, filming the unfolding event with his camera.

Grinding his teeth, Luke tried to look around but Kaylee held his head in her hands, gently but firmly, refusing to let him look away from her gaze. As terrified as she was inside, she knew she had to be strong. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes as she witnessed the hurtful words fall upon her boyfriend's ears, watching the one she loved more than life itself suffering from invisible demons.

As calmly as she could, she cooed, "Luke, look at me; no one else. Stay with me baby. Stay with me... I'm right here. You're angel is here... remember me? Your radiant angel? Stay with me, please..."

Putting her acting skills to the test she tried to remain calm for Luke, although in reality she was terrified. For him. She blinked rapidly, trying to make her tears go away. It took everything she had to put her worry aside, not to mention her rage towards the few onlookers laughing at Luke.

All she could do was pray he would forget the environment around him, and bring him back to her. The amount of pain Luke was in made Kaylee want to curl up on the ground and bawl until she was out of tears, but she knew she had to be strong for him.

After all, he had always been so, so incredibly strong for her. Tremendously strong. It was the least she could do for her cowboy.

His head didn't move, but his eyes were darting all around him, gradually beginning to center. Kaylee didn't back down; she held him until his eyes found hers.

The beast was starting to leave him; her Luke was returning. As his awareness came back, a look of embarrassment and shame crossed his face. It broke Kaylee's heart. "You have nothing to be ashamed about," she whispered to him, kissing his lips.

Luke's eyes were watering. He cast his eyes downward. Kaylee gently took his chin and raised his head. "You're a hero, Luke. Even before you went overseas, you were always my hero. I mean it; you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about."

She wouldn't let him avoid the issue. "Luke, I love you, and that's all that matters to me. Do you love me, too?"

After a brief pause, Luke nodded his head in acknowledgement. She wasn't sure if he believed her, but she still smiled through her tears as she witnessed his confidence returning little by little. The emotions coursing through her was intense, but she knew it wasn't a fraction of what Luke was feeling.

"Of course I love you. I... I'm sor..."

Kaylee cut him off, "Luke, you do not need to apologize for that. There is nothing to apologize for."

Again, Luke reluctantly nodded, but she knew he was hurt.

"We're working through it. You'll get better in no time. And I'll be by your side, the entire way."

Kaylee stood up, coaxing Luke to do the same. She threw her arms around him one last time. "We can go home if you like; we don't have to stay for the movie."

Luke shook his head, quietly whispering to her, "We can stay." Despite his embarrassment and reluctance, he was willing to stay. Kaylee marveled at his strength, but she wasn't so sure that staying was a good idea. She regretted even giving him a choice.

While she wanted to believe the two of them were swept away into a fantasy world where only the two of them resided on planet Earth at this exact moment in time, the truth was Kaylee could still sense the camera filming the two of them, and she could tell in his skittish eyes that Luke knew it was there, too.

"Can you go wait for me in the car, baby," she asked him, trying not to sound agitated. "Don't turn around; just look for the Challenger and keep walking towards it. Just trust me that I'll be right there. I'm right behind you."

With a deep breath Luke ran his fingers through his hair, nodding as he turned to leave. Kaylee impatiently waited as long as she could, watching him walk away as a mother might watch her children on the way to the school bus.

She could only hope he was just outside of earshot. Quickly wiping away a few tears, her peaceful, loving face dramatically turned into a snarl.

Kaylee turned around.

It was time to unleash.

Staring down every one of them, she screamed, "What the fuck is WRONG with you people?" Before she realized it, she lurched forward, snatched the camera out of one of the bastard's hand, and threw it on the ground as hard as she could.

"HEY," he shouted angrily, dumbfounded at what had just happened.

Kaylee swiftly struck with her knee right between his legs and shoved him backwards as hard as she could; he dropped like a rock and bellowed out a high-pitched scream. His two friends were no longer laughing; they stared at her with wide-open eyes, completely in disbelief. All color in their faces had drained away.

She could tell they weren't expecting that, and they weren't sure how to handle her. One of them hollered, "You crazy bitch! What the hell?" They both backed up as she stepped forward; they were pissed off but unwilling to provoke her further, risking the same fate as their buddy who laid on the ground in sheer agony.

Kaylee stomped on the camera with her heel, digging it into the ground, releasing all of her tension and anger. She reached down to grab the broken camera, pulling out the flash card out just in case it had somehow survived. Surprisingly, it did look intact. Maybe she hadn't done a good enough job smashing the camera after all. Kaylee would fix that problem -- she spiked it on the ground as hard as she could.

"Crazy? You haven't begun to see me crazy," she yelled, "but if you ever, EVER laugh at my boyfriend again -- a war hero, by the way, who provided you three pathetic assholes the freedom to act like the losers you are -- then you'll see me fucking PSYCHOTIC."

Kaylee stomped off with her nose in the air. She turned around once more, pausing to look at the three thugs one last time. She pointed her finger at them as if it was loaded with bullets, almost daring them to challenge her. They didn't say a word. In fact, she could hear all of the other onlookers snickering at them. She at least felt a little better.

Spinning around so quickly her hair whipped across her face, Kaylee walked off, carefully brushing her golden locks to the side. Kaylee never had an adrenaline spike of that magnitude; she felt like crying for Luke and smiling for putting those losers in their place, all at the same time. Most of all, she wanted to run to Luke and make sure he was ok, but she wanted him to see the calm side of her so she restrained her pace to a brisk walk.

"You're shaking, hon," Luke told her, leaning against his Challenger. It was ironic; considering what had just happened he was calmer than he should have been, and yet she was the one that felt like steam was rapidly escaping out of every pore in her body. Then again, she knew he was always calm whenever she was riled up.

He held his arms out to her, wide-open and inviting. She instinctively collapsed into them but not before noticing a silly grin on his face. Rolling her eyes, somewhat embarrassed, she sighed, "You heard that, didn't you. I thought I told you to wait in the car."

Luke gave her a week smile, sarcastically telling her, "Well, gosh, I was going to, but I couldn't seem to open the door with these clumsy paws of mine. Besides I just would have torn up the interior with my spiked collar and sharp teeth."

"You know what I mean," she pouted, closing her eyes. It felt wonderful in his arms; she wrapped hers around him in return.

For a few moments, Luke simply held her in his arms. He wasn't smiling anymore. "Kaylee," he said quietly, "what's wrong with me?"

She squeezed him tighter, "Nothing is wrong with you, baby."

"Kaylee," he murmured, "you know that's not true. There's a lot wrong with me. I'm broken. We both know that."

Kaylee sniffed, unsure what to say. She didn't want to demoralize him, but she couldn't pretend nothing happened. She told him, "You just saw some bad things. You went through a lot. It won't be like this forever; I swear! I'll be with you, and we'll get you through this."

Luke nodded, but she wasn't sure that he was convinced.

He told her, "What you did for me was simply amazing. I can't explain it any other way. I don't know what I would do without you; you've always been there for me. You're a precious gift from God, you really are. My heart aches for anyone like me that doesn't have someone like you. Thank you." He squeezed her even tighter, lightly kissing her forehead. "Thank you," he whispered, reemphasizing his heartfelt gratitude.

Her face lit up, "There's no need to thank me, baby. There will always be idiots like that, just like we dealt with in high school. Don't let them get to you. Let's see where they are at in ten years; if they're not buying and selling drugs, then they'll be fighting each other to leave the grill so they can get promoted to cash register at the corner burger joint."

Luke gave her a weak smile, "People can change, Kaylee. Maybe they'll grow up."

"Maybe, but they'll never be a hero like you."

He tensed up. Luke told her, "I'm not a hero, Kaylee; I've told you that."

"You don't get to decide," she told him flatly. "True heroes never decide that they're a hero. Other people decide when the evidence is clear. Just because you've tried your hardest to keep a low profile doesn't mean anyone forgot what you went through."

Luke was about to say something, but Kaylee countered, "Don't argue with me. We'll get through this. I'm just so glad you're going to go to counseling again and that you're letting me help you."




3: Scars Remain Ch. 03



Luke sighed, "Don't remind me. I love you, Kaylee." Luke opened the car door with one hand and sat down, sliding the seat back, holding Kaylee's hand the entire time. Kaylee giggled as Luke roughly dragged her down onto his lap. "Movie's about to start, angel."

Kaylee gasped, "Why Luke, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought you pulled me down on the Challenger's stick shift. Tell me, kind sir, what am I sitting on?" She batted her eyes at Luke, trying to break down his barriers.

With a groan of frustration, Luke kissed her cheek and said, "When I get a ring on your finger, you'll find out."

Her heart stopped. Or, at least it felt like it did. Just when she thought Luke couldn't surprise her anymore... BAM!

Turning around towards the movie screen with wide-open doe eyes, she replayed that sentence over and over in her head. When I get a ring on your finger... when I get a ring on your finger...

She bit her lip and sunk into his chest, praying for the movie to start as soon as possible. She seriously needed a distraction from reality.

VI -- Shattered

Kaylee was thrilled Luke was finally going to counseling. Not that it would solve all of his problems overnight, she knew, but at least he could learn how to deal with his emotions and safely process everything that had happened to him. It was a start. After several weeks, Kaylee was comfortable enough with Luke's progress that she decided to enroll back in school after what she called her "Luke Break" -- implying she wasn't going to school because she wanted-slash-needed time to spend with him. He wasn't as amused with the term as she was.

Psyche 101 was particularly eye opening. As the professor mentioned PTSD during one of his lectures, better known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, she sat straight up in her chair. Unpredictable outbursts, inability to process stress, uncontrolled anger... it was as if the professor was describing Luke! Kaylee had already known something was going on with Luke, but now that she had a name for it, she felt hopeful. The scope of what Luke was really facing finally sunk in. She knew it wasn't his fault, but now she could justify it! Ever the impatient one, Kaylee was half-tempted to bolt from class right then and there so she could begin her own research.

Luke never talked about his deployments; she learned that was also a hallmark trait of PTSD. She tried working up the courage to ask several times, but she always chickened out at the last minute. No matter her intentions, there was a fine line between giving him genuine help and potentially setting off a powder keg. She even remembered reading how you can't help someone until they are ready to be helped. Her instinct told her to leave it alone; Luke would come to her if and when he wanted to talk about it, and she would be ready.

She wasn't always good at going with her instincts.

"So," Kaylee asked over the high volume of the movie on her 50 inch LCD television, "what was it like over there?"

It didn't even sound right as the words came out of her mouth. She immediately winced with regret. Leaning back into Luke's arms, she nestled herself against him and reached one hand back to stroke his head, as if to let him know she was there for him; after all, she only wanted the best for him.

Still, she honestly wasn't sure why she asked. It was a nagging question that popped into her head a few days ago, one that seemed to have come from nowhere. She suspected it was because of her uncontrollable impulse to do anything it took to help Luke -- granted it was an impulse that got her into trouble more than once.

"What do you mean," Luke asked with a little surprise in his voice, perhaps at the random timing of the question.

Kaylee backpedalled, deliberately pausing before replying, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I was just curious."

She could feel Luke tensing up behind her. He grabbed the remote control and turned the volume down, understanding she wanted a serious conversation.

"Well, I think I told you the basics. There was practically nothing but the color brown out there. Brown sand, brown dirt, brown trees, brown mountains. But, in a way it was kind of nice because all I had to worry about was eating, sleeping, flying, and working out."

She chuckled, "Every man's dream."

"Yes," he answered, somewhat melancholy, "Although it could never be a complete dream without you in it."

The glow on her face lit up the room despite the dark movie-theater atmosphere; she beamed from ear to ear. "Awww!"

Kaylee thought for a moment. She asked, "Do you miss it? I mean, the Air Force, the flying?"

Luke thought about it before nodding, "I do. There was nothing in the world quite like flying. Thousands of feet above the earth, slicing through the clouds, admiring the world below.

"Still, I'm glad I'm on terminal leave. It's given me time to think, and most of all time to be with you."

"Is it wrong that I'm ecstatic that you've been... forced out of the Air Force?"

Looking up, she saw a sparkle in his eye while clearly reflecting on his time served. He told her, "No, of course it's not. I completely understand why you feel that way. I'll miss it, believe it or not; my career was over just as quickly as it began."

"Do you think you'll go back to college, maybe do something with computers? You were always good at that. You know I just started back up; there's probably still time for you to enroll if you want. Maybe we could even take some classes together..." Kaylee forced herself to stop. "I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

Luke smiled, "It's ok; the longer you talk, the longer I get to avoid your deep thought-provoking questions."

He turned serious for a moment. "College... I don't know. I should, I'm just not feeling it right now, and not sure if I want to get back into computers. As for the rest of my time out in the desert, I was fortunate enough to work with some great guys and girls. When I first arrived, everything was fine. But when the big operations started, it got bloody, even before the crash. After I went down..."

It hit Luke hard after that. It was evident to Kaylee that he didn't want to finish talking. "That's ok," she said, trying to defuse the situation. "The important thing is you're safe now, with me."

Luke didn't say anything. He stood up, carefully moving Kaylee off of his lap, and went into the kitchen.

Kaylee just sat there, nervous and wide-eyed. Something wasn't right; it was like Luke flipped some kind of switch. But it was subtle. She tried to think of what else she could say to him. Quietly she stood up from the couch and peered her head around the corner to check on Luke.

He had taken a glass out of the cabinet and held it under the faucet, his back towards her. As she took a closer look, Kaylee could tell his hand was shaking so badly he couldn't fill it more than halfway before the water began to splash out. He set the glass down and took a deep breath.

He tried a second time. The same thing happened again. He just couldn't seem to keep his hand steady enough.

What happened next was unlike anything Kaylee had ever seen in her life.

Luke bellowed out a growl that couldn't possibly have been human, grasping the glass and throwing it across the room as hard as he could. It shattered against the wall as hundreds if not thousands of tiny glass shards and water droplets exploded in all directions. Luke stormed into the dining room, grabbing the solid wooden table and, with one quick motion, violently overturning it.

Kaylee was terrified; she had never seen anger manifest like this in anyone; the last person in the world she expected this from was her calm and mild-mannered Luke Patton.

But the worst part was that she was absolutely petrified of Luke. As much as she wanted to rush in and stop him, or at least try to calm him, she couldn't move her legs. As if her body tried to warn her that she would get hurt. Maybe it wasn't instinct; maybe it was genuine fear.

He grabbed one of the chairs next to the upside down table and raised it above his head.

"LUKE!!" Kaylee shrieked, tears flying down her cheek.

Conflict swelled within him: Dwindling sanity versus uninhibited wrath. Every muscle in his body flexed as he held the chair above his head, fighting every part of his ignited rage that wanted to slam it down.

"Luke, no..." she whimpered through her tears.

His entire body shook and his legs wobbled. He dropped the chair and collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

Seeing how shattered Luke had become within a matter of seconds broke the spell over Kaylee. She ran forward to Luke, draping her arms over him, weeping just as hard as he was.

"Shhhh; it's ok," Kaylee coaxed him, repeating it over and over.

Luke lay on her lap; he could barely choke out, "I'm sorry, Kaylee; I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry; you didn't do anything wrong, baby," she told him through the tears.

"You don't deserve this," Luke replied, still shaking, "I shouldn't be here. I should have died; all I'm doing is making your life miserable."

Kaylee was shocked, but more than that she was hurt. "Luke Patton, don't you dare say that! Don't ever say that to me again," she cried.

Luke didn't say anything, but he did squeeze Kaylee tight.

There was an incredible feeling of sorrow within Kaylee, and she blamed herself. She should have kept her mouth shut in the first place. "This is my fault, baby, I'm so sorry. I should never have asked..."

Luke shook his head, indicating his disagreement, "It's definitely not your fault, baby."

She held him even tighter. She didn't believe him; how could he see it wasn't her fault? It was! She knew bringing up the past was risky, and it blew up in her face.

"Luke, don't blame yourself, ok? It's not like you can control yourself. This PTSD... it's a mental illness. I've been learning more about it, not just with the counselor but also at college. I knew better to ask but even so, none of this is your fault. Okay?"

Luke didn't nod in agreement -- she wasn't so sure he was accepting of PTSD -- but he did relax. He was exhausted, his chest heaved up and down, gradually settling down.

Neither of them was exactly sure how much time had passed. Finally Kaylee stood up, telling him she'd be right back. She quickly grabbed a few pillows off of the couch and a blanket from the closet, making a temporary bed right where Luke lay. Quietly she stood up with the intentions of cleaning up the water and glass, but Luke grabbed her arm. He refused to let go, gently pulling her down next to him, wrapping his arms around her.

Kaylee decided the mess could wait. She surrendered herself, snuggling into his awaiting arms. Gently she kissed his cheek, sighed heavily and closed her eyes.

Sleep didn't come quickly for either of them, but the rest of the night Luke didn't say a single word, and neither did Kaylee.

---

"I feel kind of dirty. We shouldn't be here," Ryan told his son.

"Dad, I like Ford. Besides it was your idea," Luke replied.

"I know. The things I do for your mother. I can't believe she's still driving her old Mustang; that thing needs to be put out to the pasture. She better love me for this."

Luke chuckled.

The weather had turned out to be really nice; there wasn't a cloud in the bright blue sky and the gentle breeze kept it from being too hot. And Luke was grateful; he had enough of the heat ever since he was stuck with a constant one hundred and twenty degrees Fahrenheit while deployed. As a bonus, because Ford dealership was always closed on Sundays he and his dad could enjoy looking at the vehicles without having to worry about sales reps hovering over their shoulders. They were only doing their job, he admitted, but it was nice not having to deal with anyone.

"Dad, look at this Shelby," Luke said, admiring the Shelby GT 500. "Blue with black racing stripes. 650 horse, 600 torque. Are you really telling me you'd pass this up just because you have discrimination issues with an auto company?"

Ryan laughed, "Hey! It's not discrimination. I have nothing against the Mustang, except for the fact it's not a Challenger. Lets face it; the Challenger looks better with its vintage 60's muscle car style. I prefer the way it feels and handles over a Mustang, too."

Luke looked at his father, as if disappointed with his answer.

With a sigh, Ryan looked over his shoulder, as if making sure there weren't any witnesses. He whispered, "Of course I'd drive that, in a heartbeat. Yes, I prefer the Challenger, but I mostly do it just to harass your mother."

"Are you serious? You mean after all these years, you're telling me that it's nothing more than getting under her skin?"

Ryan gave him a devious smile, "It's good for her. It keeps her on her toes. I'd hate to risk our relationship becoming stagnant."

"So you're saying if I want things to improve with Kaylee, choose the opposite of something she really likes?"

"Now you're getting it, buddy," Ryan grinned, proudly putting his hand on his boy's shoulder. "By the way, how is Kaylee doing? Now that you're back, we seem to see her less and less."

Luke winced, thinking of his meltdown a few nights ago and the ensuing torture and pain he put Kaylee through. But now wasn't the time to get into specifics with his dad. "She's doing ok, for the most part. It's hard to tell with her. She's so invested in me and trying to help me back on track; I worry she's not focusing on herself. And I'm definitely not helping things. Although I will say she did finally decide to resume her college classes and continue towards her Associates Degree; I'm grateful for that. It's interesting; she's quite different now than she was in high school. Her care and compassion seems to grow exponentially as each day goes by."

"I think Kaylee's great for you. Your mom does, too. Is she going with you to your appointments," Ryan asked, deliberately avoiding the term 'counseling' even though Luke knew his dad was being subtle. He always was.

"She's been going to every other one with me. The funny thing is she thinks she's going to help me, but the counselor spends a lot of time on her, helping her processing her feelings and emotions. For a smart girl, she hasn't quite caught on to that yet," he said, grinning.

"Well, I'm glad she's getting help, too. Even if it is indirectly," Ryan said. "You know, I never told you much about my first wife, did I?"

Luke grew quiet. He knew his dad had been married before he met his mom, but he was never really told the full story. His dad never talked about it, and he never asked. Why was he opening up now of all times?

Luke shook his head no.

It was obvious that his dad had become solemn, thinking back on a difficult past. "I know I told you that we had a son together. Adam, your older brother. That's how you got your middle name. Amanda and Adam were both killed by a drunk driver right before I was scheduled to come home from Afghanistan."

"And just like that," Ryan snapped his fingers, "My life had drastically changed. I thought it was over. My brand new family, waiting for me back home, were gone without warning. Just that quick."

Luke listened quietly, his attention fully fixed on his father. He knew of Amanda and Adam, but never heard what happened to them until now. His father was never comfortable bringing them up, at least in to him and Faith.

"I'll never forget when my commanding officer told me. We had just finished our patrol. The moment I stepped out of the Humvee and saw the Captain, I could tell by the look on his face that something was seriously wrong. Honestly, with all the shit that was going on over there at the time, I figured one or more of our troops had been killed. I had no idea that the devastating news I was about to find out involved people I loved back home."

Ryan was having a hard time holding his emotions back, digging up the painful memories of the past, which caused him a great amount of heartache. "I didn't think I could continue. I didn't want to move on. For a while," he said, taking a long pause before deciding to continue, "I thought about ending it all."

The shock on Luke's face manifested immediately but he remained silent, willing to listen. Ryan lightened the mood with a soft chuckle, adding, "Don't worry, this story has a happy ending. Mostly." Putting his hand on Luke's shoulder, he said, "I have your mother, I have you, and I have your sister. Life couldn't get any better for me. But that was a dark time. In fact, when I reached my absolute worst was about the time I ran into your mother."

Ryan smiled, clearly remembering the first time he met Jessica. "The funny thing was, I was mad at God -- I mean I was furious with Him -- and to make things worse, your mother was just as confused about life as I was at that point. Yet even with all of my anger, God didn't give up on me even though I initially gave up on Him. He healed me little by little, day by day. Not enough for me to see at the time, but looking back on everything I went though it became crystal clear that He was with me every step of the way."

Ryan thought for a moment and said, "Do you remember that poem called 'Footsteps'? Well, it was like that. That was me -- my life was a textbook case of that poem. When I was with Amanda and Adam, life was perfect. God and I were walking side by side on the sand; I'd look behind me and see two sets of footprints -- His and mine. After my wife and son died, leaving me to fend on my own in this world, I looked behind me and only saw one set of footprints. I asked the Lord, 'Why did you stop walking with me? Why did you abandon me?' I was in anguish and couldn't understand why He left me in darkness. It wasn't until several years later that I realized he never did abandon me. It was I who couldn't walk. I never noticed it, but God was carrying me the entire time. He left the footprints behind us."

With a slight grin, Ryan said, "Despite all of my mistakes and poor decisions -- and trust me, I had made some extremely poor decisions -- He used Jessica to help me get back on track. I was worried I would hurt her, and I tried to push her out of my life, but she stuck with me long enough for me to wise up and see what I really meant to her. And I'd like to think that He used me to make her life better, too."

Looking squarely in his son's eyes, he told Ryan carefully and deliberately, "You know, after everything I went through, your mother was the one who eventually convinced me to see a counselor. Does that sound familiar?"

Luke immediately thought of Kaylee and her unrelenting persistence, pushing him to get help. His entire family pressed him to go, over and over, but Kaylee was the one that finally got through to him. "Yes, it does," he confessed.

"Make God number one. And if you're as serious about Kaylee as I think you are, make her your number two. Everything else in this life comes after. If you remember only one thing I've said this entire conversation, remember that."

Luke nodded, "Ok, dad."

Ryan put an arm over his shoulder, escorting his son to the next potential Mustang for his lovely wife. He prayed silently in his head that Luke would absorb his fatherly wisdom, unaware if his words had any impact.

Luke was quiet the rest of the day as they continued looking, but allowing everything his dad told him to sink in. He had a lot to think about. 



3: Scars Remain Ch. 04







3: Scars Remain Ch. 04



Luke was crushed; it wasn't that she was afraid; it was that she was afraid of him! And rightfully so. He had almost killed her. His stomach turned. All he wanted to do was die. 

He didn't move forward anymore, but he stretched out his hand as far as it would go. He knew it was in vain. "Kaylee, I...," he couldn't even finish his sentence, choking on his tears. He didn't even realize he was crying until now.

Kaylee sat back against the wall, tucking her knees up to her chest while trying to make herself as small as possible. She shook her head at Luke, making it clear she didn't want him to come any closer. 

Luke blurted, "Oh, God... Kaylee, I'm so... are you o-ok?" It was a stupid question. She didn't answer – she couldn't, he realized – and she was breathing hard, her chest heaving up and down but at least she was taking in precious oxygen. Kaylee had a look on her tear-stained face, as if to ask him 'why'?

It was an impossible question to answer. Why would he ever hurt the love of his life? How could he do something like that? Consciously or otherwise? He didn't know why, either.

Luke slowly backed off of the bed, holding his hands out, trying his hardest to avoid choking on his tears while telling her, "I'm sorry, Kaylee, I'm so, so sorry. I'll never hurt you again, I promise." 

He left the bedroom as quickly as possible, grabbing only his keys and wallet, running out of the house barefoot and shirtless.

He meant it, every word. He was incredibly sorry, and he would never hurt her again. Never.

Luke fired the Challenger up, springing it to life; he slammed the pedal down and shot out of the apartment complex like a streak of lightning. He tore through the residential area until he hit the open freeway.





3: Scars Remain Ch. 04







3: Scars Remain Ch. 05



This is the final submission for my "Diary" series. Thanks to all who read, voted, gave positive and/or constructive negative feedback, and of course to Random Librarian for his editing.

-Spartan 22

X -- Healing Wounds, Invisible Scars

"I can't believe how fast you can run with that thing," Luke huffed, pumping his arms in rhythm with his stride. He always maintained focused when he ran and rarely talked, but he had to commend Clint's ability to run as fast as he did with his prosthetic leg.

Clint panted, "Took me a while to get the hang of it. Took longer to go from the rubberized track to the street. Remember the first time we went on a run?"

Luke wheezed out a small chuckle, "Yeah; we were running away from a burning helicopter, getting shot at, and completely disoriented with our location. And that was seconds after waking up from my unconscious state. Nothing like getting shot at to take a full minute off of my annual 1.5 mile test, had I stayed in..."

"Speaking of which," Clint said, "I think I might have a contracting job lined up out of Lewis-McChord."

"Really? Army or Air Force side?"

"Air Force. Out of the Wing. The commute will suck, though. Traffic on the interstate is awful around here. Take a right when we get to this intersection," Clint said, pointing up ahead at the crossroads.

As Clint and Luke turned down the road, Clint asked, "So, did you call Kaylee yet?"

"You won't let up, will you," Luke said, exasperated.

Clint smiled, "I promised I'd take you in, but I didn't say anything about refraining from sticking my nose in your business. I know I've never met Kaylee, but I know she doesn't deserve what you're putting her through. Especially if she's as amazing as you've described her."

Luke clammed up for the remainder of their run. He knew Clint's tactics; apply steady and deliberate pressure, and odds were he wouldn't let up any time soon. All he wanted to do was purge every single thought and memory he had of Kaylee, whatever it took to get her out of his mind. Before he went insane.

Maybe it was time to move on.

---

He could smell the perfume on her neck. He remembered that wonderful fragrance... it was the same kind she wore in high school. Even while half asleep he suspected it was a dream when he felt her press her skin against his. The mixture of emotions -- excitement from finally having her back coupled with the sorrow in knowing he would soon wake up and she would be gone forever -- weighed heavily on him. He didn't want to wake up. Ever.

All it took was a few blinks, and as he was teleported back into the bedroom. Kaylee had vanished into thin air.

It was dark, but he saw the silhouette of someone standing only a few feet away from his bed. His arms, stretched over his head, felt numb. He tried to sit up, but his wrists immediately met resistance. The sound of metal against metal rang out. Had he been handcuffed to the bed?

"It's about time you wake up, you selfish prick."

It was the sound of the sweetest voice in the world, but in a not-so-sweet tone.

SLAP!

The sting across his face instantly brought him back from dreamland.

"THAT's for making me look from Mexico to Canada just to find you, you bastard!" Every word Kaylee shrieked was through a stream of tears. Leaning down, she aggressively took his face in her hands and leaned down to kiss him. Her lips and tongue danced with his, just as passionately as she ever had before, her tears smearing against his cheek.

"That," she said with a considerably meeker tone, her bottom lip quivering, "Is because I thought I would never see you again."

Trying his hardest to catch up, disbelieving the evidence before his very eyes, Luke gasped, "Kaylee?" So she hadn't vanished into thin air after all.

The sting on his face had caused an adrenaline surge, but her follow-up kiss drained it away completely. It was possible he had never been more confused in his life. Looking up at both his wrists, he asked, "Kaylee, what's going on?"

"Get used to it," Kaylee smirked, sitting on the bed next to Luke, reaching up to jiggle the cuffs. "I'm taking you home with me, like it or not. And if I have to chain you up every night for the rest of our lives to keep you from attacking me, guess what?" Kaylee leaned down as if she was going to kiss him but she paused, her lips inches away from his. She was so close he could feel her breath on his skin as she seductively whispered, "I'm willing to make that sacrifice."

Tussling his hair with one hand while placing the other on his naked chest, she exhaled and softly said, "Luke, you have a lot of apologies to make. But I do too. I'm so sorry for my part. I shouldn't have... turned away from you. You know... after what had happened. I've regretted that moment every night since, and I've have had a lot of empty nights in my own bed to think about what I did."

Luke said, "You don't need to apologize. You were scared, and after what I did..."

Kaylee interrupted, "It doesn't matter if I was scared or not; that's not the point. I will always take the bad with the good, despite your promise to leave me." Tearing up again, but trying to sniff back her tears, she said, "I knew you were going to leave that night, but I thought you were going to be back the next morning, at the latest. You put me through a nightmare! Living these last nine months, not knowing if you were dead or alive, has been pure torture. Not knowing..." her lip quivered.

"Kaylee, I'm extremely sorry. I never meant to hurt you -- I would never dream of hurting you. Believe it or not, I left to prevent you from hurting. I'm still not so sure it's a good idea for me to go back with you. You have so much potential in your life; you are beautiful and sweet and could have anyone you wanted. No one would ever love you more than I, but despite my best intentions I'm afraid my love is not enough. All I'm doing is dragging you down. I dragged you down in high school, I dragged you down when I joined the military, and I dragged you down when I came home. You're life would be so much better without me in..."

Interrupting again, Kaylee snapped, "Oh shut up! That's not true and you know it. You've done more for me than everyone else in my entire life combined. You've loved me like no one else has. It's time you wake up and finally see that! Twice I've thought you died, and this time you simply vanished, which is just as bad if not worse."

Kaylee sniffed, "I haven't seen you in nine months, and the last thing I ever did to you was... flinch... afraid of what you had done. And I will always regret not being strong enough in that moment." Her eyes narrowed, reflecting an immediate mood swing, spitting out her next words venomously, "But that was no excuse for you to run away."

Luke sighed, uncertain of how to respond. He still wasn't sure what to think, "Kaylee, how did you...I mean..."

Reading his mind, Kaylee said, "How did I find you? Expensive software, worthless detectives, and a boatload of money. In the end it all came down to traffic cameras. After hours and hours of watching footage from traffic cameras across nearly all of Northern California, I finally caught your Black Challenger heading North on I-5.

"After doing some math..." Kaylee stopped herself and glared at Luke after an amused smile crept up on his face, "And yes, I did some math and if you never tutored me I probably couldn't have figured it out and never would have found you. So, your fault. So, after guessing your speed and the time you probably left -- and allowing for a ginormous 'deviation', meaning I had to watch more grainy non-HD film than I ever thought possible -- I finally caught you on camera heading North on the I-5 around Eugene. And then Portland. So I thought to myself, 'who lives up this way? Why would Luke possibly be heading up to Washington State?' At first I thought you were heading for Canada. Like you couldn't live in the same country as me anymore. But then I remembered something big: Clint lives in Seattle."

Luke grunted. Sensing his displeasure, Kaylee said, "You should know Clint lied to me, every time I called up here. He said he didn't know where you were. He's a pretty good liar, but then again, I am too," she winked. "Takes one to know one, I guess." Kaylee smirked, looking up towards the ceiling and acting as if it wasn't a big deal and said, "So I told him we were getting married right before you left, just to soften him up. Make him feel guiltier." Luke looked shocked. "So I used my powers for evil. Sue me," she giggled shamelessly.

"He even lied to my face when I pulled up, demanding to see you. It wasn't until I pulled out the marriage card that he weakened. You'd be proud of him; after he told me where you were, he said, and I quote: 'I'd trip an old lady for Luke; you have to understand he made me promise and I seriously owed him. So go easy on him.' So, yeah, compared to what I wanted to do, you did get off easy with a little slap.

"So, I'm revoking your promise to leave me. That's not how the story ends. Hopefully you got this little hissy-fit out of your system and are ready to come back with me. I promised I would be by your side, and we would do this together. I'll be there for you to talk to me, to lay your head in my lap, to cry on my chest if that's what you need."

She took a deep breath and said, "If you want to leave me down the road because you get bored with me or because of my bitchy attitude, fine; I understand. But you don't get to leave me because you think you're protecting me in some backwards kind of way," she said, looking into his eyes.

"Get it, mister?"

Luke was about to protest, until she held a single finger to his lips. She raised an eyebrow and lowered her chin, as if daring him to defy her.

Caught in her unrelenting gaze, Luke bit his tongue and thought hard. She was hard to say no to; she always had been. After taking a deep breath, he reluctantly nodded.

But reluctant or otherwise, it was still a yes. Kaylee almost squealed with joy.

"Um, Kaylee," Luke asked, looking up at the handcuffs and giving a slight tug to get her attention.

Kaylee pulled out the key, but instead of unlocking the cuffs she cruelly dangled it in front of him. She sighed, "You want this, do you? Well."

She gently raked the key across his chest, trying to look at him seductively but a giggle escaped as he sharply inhaled. She bit her lip and slid her hand down his chest and past his stomach, stretching over him until her hair lightly brushed against him. Kaylee told him, "You're coming back home with me but before we drive back, I think I'll keep you like this for a little while longer, after all you've put me through. Too bad for you..."

---

It was obvious that Luke had missed Kaylee. Despite that, he was reluctant to immediately head back to California but at the same time he wasn't about to let Kaylee leave without him. Kaylee could tell that he was still conflicted and held a lot of pain over what had happened. She tried her hardest to soothe him, constantly reminding him that she wasn't going to leave. In turn, Kaylee made it clear that he better not think of ever leaving her again.

Luke wanted to fulfill his promise to Clint to help finish the fence; Kaylee completely understood. She was more than supportive, especially after realizing how much Clint had helped him after he left California. Besides, it didn't matter where they were; it only mattered they were together.

She stayed by his side almost the entire time, conversing and catching up on the last several months as he hammered the boards into place. At one point, after suspecting Luke was probably too busy to socialize, Kaylee left and headed towards the house. Luke quickly popped his head up and set his hammer down.

He looked so sad, Kaylee thought; almost like a lost puppy. It broke her heart, but at the same time it was adorable. "I'm just going to make up some lemonade for you two; I'll be right back," she smiled. It took him a few seconds to break eye contact and return his focus back to the fence.

He does miss me, she thought to herself, smiling from ear to ear all the way back to the house.

---

"My wrists are still sore, you know," Luke told Kaylee through the speaker system, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other rubbing the opposite wrist.

"Don't be such a baby. You did it to yourself," she replied from her BMW; she sounded snotty -- and meant to -- but was grateful he couldn't see her actually smiling. "You're lucky I didn't cuff you to the steering wheel. Oh, and by the way, before I forget: When we get within an hour of your parents house, we need to stop so you can buy them flowers. Like enough flowers to fill up the living room. Especially your mother and Faith."

Luke winced and sighed, "I know."

He remained quiet. Kaylee bit her lip. Maybe she was being a little hard on him. He deserved it, but still. "I'm glad you're coming back home with me, cowboy," she purred. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," he said sincerely. "You're falling behind again," he reminded her, looking in his rear-view mirror. "Can't keep up with American muscle, can you?"

"Oh, shut up. If you get a ticket for speeding, Mr. Leadfoot, I'm not stopping for you. Then we'll see who makes it back home first. Besides I could take your Challenger if I really wanted to. Whatever happened to my snail-paced slow driving boyfriend?"

She could hear his laughter as he replied, "Maybe he has a lot of pent up energy."

Kaylee smiled. Oh, I like the sound of that, she thought to herself.

---

"So how many babies are we going to have," Kaylee asked Luke out of the blue, her back straight and butt sticking backwards in the downward dog position. She made yoga look so easy. Luke, also in the same position except with bent elbows and knees, nowhere near Kaylee's perfect form, just about fell over. "Kaylee, are you insane? You told me this yoga stuff is supposed to be relaxing."

"Of course it's relaxing. And peaceful. Especially now that we're back home. Besides, it's also helping to stretch and heal your shoulder. You need to keep it strong."

Luke told her, "Well, the doctor did say, despite his initial analysis, I almost have my full strength back. He thinks I'll be back at one-hundred percent if I stick to his physical therapy routine."

Kaylee sighed, "I know, that's what I keep telling you! That's why we're doing this!"

Luke blinked, "Maybe we should just lift weights instead; it's much simpler and less embarrassing."

"Time for crane," Kaylee said, ignoring Luke's comments. She simply stepped forward, placing her hands on the ground, knees on the back of her arms, and slowly raised both feet off of the floor.

She made it look so easy. Luke shook his head, reluctantly following her lead. Carefully he raised one foot, tried to stabilize his wobbling body, somehow managing to lift his other foot off the ground. He held it for four seconds before toppling over. Kaylee still maintained her motionless form, as if she were a statue. "You still didn't answer me," she cooed breathlessly without moving a muscle.

"Um, we're not exactly married, Kaylee," Luke said, trying to get back into the crane position.

"You're no fun," she whispered, coming out of crane and sitting down cross-legged, grabbing for her towel and water bottle.

"Well," Luke said, following her lead and sitting down, "Why don't we focus on getting you through class first. Are you still sure you want to be a counselor?"

"I am," Kaylee said. "Trust me; I've had plenty of time to think about it. It's been floating around in the back of my mind for a while. First, it's a noble profession, and I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to help people." Luke nodded in support. "Also, when I have children some day," she added, deliberately staring Luke down with narrowing eyes, "And after I've done this for a while, I should be able to work my hours around their school schedule. Wouldn't that be nice?" Luke quickly turned his eyes away. "So, I'll get my psychology degree in a few years, then hopefully get a job somewhere around here."

Kaylee thought for a moment, and then asked Luke, "At least, I assumed I'd look for a job around here, unless you had something else in mind?"

Luke smiled, "It's hard to predict the future, but I wouldn't mind staying in the area. It makes sense until we finish up school. Seattle was nice, too; I wouldn't mind ending up that way either. I haven't thought about it much, to be honest."

Luke hesitated before asking, "What about when I start classes? Do you think I'll do ok in seminary? I keep feeling like God is calling me towards the ministry... but a guy like me?"

Immediately Kaylee jumped on Luke, "Don't sell yourself short! You're an amazing man. You've been to hell and back. You've cheated death more times than I can count."

"I know, I know," Luke interrupted. "But there's more to it than that. I truly believe our prayers, along with help from my counselor, have helped me get my rage under control. But sometimes it manifests, and it probably always will. I swear more than I should, especially when I get angry. The funny thing is I never used to."

Luke winced, "I've... done worse than that. Much worse! You know that, Kaylee." He struggled with his words, blurting out, "I've... killed people, for crying out loud! There should be some kind of law about accepting people like me into ministry."

Kaylee didn't flinch. She reminded him, "Well, so did Moses. Heck, Paul killed Christians before he was saved. Besides what you did was much, much different! You were defending your country; you know that! If there's one thing you've taught me, it's to trust God and his plan, ask for forgiveness, and if you feel He's calling you on a certain path, then you'll be alright as long as you trust and follow Him."

Luke took a deep breath. "Maybe your right. It just feels like there are people better than me that should be doing this. I'll always carry these invisible scars. Scars that no one will see, yet they are with me. And I can't help but wonder if they should prevent me from ministry."

A serious look surfaced on Kaylee's face. "We both have many invisible scars, and in fact some of them are matching. Not all, but we've shared some of the same wounds. So, while I can't imagine half of the horrors you have been through, I can relate to the other half. And remember, a scar is a wound that has already healed and is nothing more than a reminder of our past. It doesn't dictate our future. If anything, a scar is an experience we can learn from."

She sat up on her knees and slowly started to unzip her yoga jacket, "I was going to show you this later, but maybe now is the right time. I want you to know what I think of you."

She peeled her jacket off, revealing a white t-shirt underneath that said, 'Not every girl is lucky enough to find the man of her dreams... but I'm dating one.' A red heart surrounded 'I'm dating one'.

"I... don't know what to say," Luke said. "You truly humble me, Kaylee." He scooted over, placing one hand on her cheek and leaned in, giving her a deep, passionate kiss.

Kaylee moaned and took his head in her hands, kissing him back with just as much fervor.

"Oh, Luke," she whispered softly. "You know," she said as seriously as she could while wearing a smile, "The other t-shirt is on backorder. Wait until you see that one."

Luke, already blushing, asked, "What other t-shirt?"

Cocking her head to the side, she said, "The one that says, 'Not every girl is lucky enough to find the man of her dreams... but I've married mine."




3: Scars Remain Ch. 05



Scratching the back of his head, eyes cast downward, a small smile crept up on his beet-red face.

---

XI -- One Last Question

"I don't think I've ever seen the drive-in this packed," Kaylee told Luke while reclining the passenger seat, watching car after car pull in and park.

Luke nodded in agreement and said, "Actually I'm surprised, too."

Kaylee asked him, "What movie are we seeing again?"

After a brief moment of hesitation, presumably trying to recall the name of the movie, Luke answered, "Well, it's something of a romance."

She thought it was odd he didn't remember the name, but casually dismissed it. It had been a long week for both of them. Kaylee considered herself lucky that the college administration allowed her to make most of her classes up, given the extenuating circumstances, but with a full eighteen credits the last thing she wanted to do was think. It was just nice to simply relax with her boyfriend.

Boyfriend... she smirked at herself, realizing how much she had downplayed that term. Luke was so much more than that, but there wasn't a word in the English language to truly explain how much he meant to her.

"You look tired. You're not going to fall asleep, are you, baby," Luke asked her.

Kaylee laughed, "No promises."

"But I heard it's supposed to be really good."

"Well, I'll try hard to stay awake. Just don't play with my hair or rub my forehead or else you'll put me right to sleep," she giggled.

Luke paused, and then asked her, "Well, can I at least put you on my lap before you crash?"

Kaylee slid onto his lap without hesitation and purred, "Ok, cowboy; that I can do. Gladly!"

The drive-in screen went dark and a hush fell over the crowd. Luke said to her, "I think the previews are over. Ready for the movie?"

She smiled, nodding in reply.

As the screen came back to life, a vintage countdown clip appeared, working its way backwards from number ten before momentarily going black again.

Kaylee, a little perplexed, whispered in Luke's ear, "That was different; it doesn't normally do that. Did they change ownership here or something?"

Without so much as a blink, Luke shushed her.

Suddenly, a voice boomed across the drive-in, "Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's movie isn't just a regular Friday night romance movie. Tonight's movie is the ultimate story of true love, great sacrifice, gradual healing and peaceful restoration."

A bright blue sky progressively came into view on the big screen. The view panned down slowly to a brown brick high school surrounded by trees; the flagpole in front of the school with the Stars and Stripes waving in the wind was the central focus on the screen.

"This is where the beginning of our story takes place," said the narrator as the opening music dramatically began to play.

"Wait..." Kaylee said, taking in the scene. Suddenly it clicked. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she could've sworn she recognized her old school and asked, "Luke, isn't that Remmington High?"

Luke didn't respond.

Inside the high school, students walked the halls actively, many of them hustling as if they were running late for their next class. The screen cut to several overlapping scenes, each one featuring the students of Remmington High. Some of the students were shown in front of their class, solving equations on the board. Others were featured in the chemistry lab, mixing various solutions from one beaker to the next. Another scene showed the Mustangs playing their rivals in soccer while another showed a small group studying in the library.

As the scene switched to a Friday night football game, the camera zoomed in on the cheerleaders -- one cheerleader in particular.

Kaylee gasped, "Luke! Oh my gosh, that's..."

"Kaylee Reed," the narrator announced as the young cheerleading captain rallied her girls, "Freshman and head junior varsity Mustang cheerleader, the desire of every male and envied by every female at Remmington."

"LUKE! What's going on," Kaylee shouted at him. "Is that Aaron's voice? Is he narrating the movie? Luke..."

Luke tried to stifle a smile, focusing his attention on the screen. "Shhh! You're ruining the movie. I love watching that girl, the way her hips move as she does her cheer. That's my favorite part."

Dumbfounded, Kaylee watched intently, wondering why Luke wasn't as surprised as she was. It was like he knew what was going to be on the movie screen.

The camera quickly swept across the football field as the Mustangs scored another touchdown. The voice behind the camera said, "Dammit, Luke, I missed their touchdown thanks to your cheerleader fetish. I'm never gonna be good at this filming thing."

The younger Luke told him, "Well, technically it's not a cheerleader fetish, it's just one girl..."

The camera continued to pan between the cheerleaders and the football game as the movie narrator said, "Adored from afar by Luke Patton, Kaylee had no idea just how much he would turn her life upside-down."

Luke stood against at the rail, fidgeting and nervously adjusting his glasses as he tried to find the right words to say. He was grateful the cheerleaders were watching the game, their backs towards him. It gave him a little time. Summoning up all the courage he could muster, he sputtered, "Uh, h-hi, Kaylee."

Kaylee turned around with a puzzled look on her face as the nerdy kid with the messy hair addressed her. Confused, she raised an eyebrow and said, "Uh, hi?"

Luke opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Kaylee was still baffled, but at least a small smile crept up on her face.

"I'm...," was all Luke could get out.

Kaylee smiled, "Um, right. I hope you enjoy the game... you." As she started to turn around, he shouted, "Luke!"

A goofy smile crossed his face, "I mean, my name is Luke. I think you're doing an amazing job, by the way. You've nailed every move so far."

Kaylee awkwardly laughed and told him, "Thanks, um, Luke. See you around." She quickly turned around. The cheerleader next to her took a quick look at Luke and whispered something in Kaylee's ear, laughing. Kaylee's face turned red; she laughed and shook her head.

Horrified with her freshman-self onscreen actions, Kaylee gasped. Her hand covered her mouth as she recalled what Cindy whispered to her -- "The only thing he wants to nail is you!" And Kaylee's reply of "Never in a billion years" made her not only feel extremely guilty, but part of her actually wished that a billion years had actually passed.

The narrator continued, "Luke knew he could never have an angel like Kaylee. He was simply from a different world. Still, he had no idea that his hard work, intellectual level and ability to understand mathematics better than most teachers would wind up pulling Kaylee into his world."

The camera shifted scenes; Luke had become the focal point. "No way! Kaylee, as in Kaylee Reed? Dude, I can't believe you're going to be tutoring her! Say something for the camera," Aaron excitedly told his friend in hopes of getting an amazing response on film.

"Aaron, put that thing away," was all Luke gave him. "I'm trying to study."

Aaron asked, "What did she say? What did she do? What was she wearing?"

Luke said, "Ok, you want the truth? She's insecure, but she puts on a front like she has it all figured out. That's why she comes across as a spoiled brat. I feel sorry for her because she chooses to be one.

"But she's absolutely gorgeous. I've never seen a smile like hers -- ever. I mean, when she wants to, she can brighten up a room. I'm telling you, Aaron, she might even be the most beautiful girl in the world. Hey, I said put that thing down. You're not actually filming this, are you?"

"No, of course not," Aaron said as the scene came to an end.

With her hands pressed up against her face, Kaylee peeked through her fingers, her eyes glued to the screen. She was fully aware that several hundred people in the drive-in were watching the same exact 'movie' that she was; it wasn't possible for her face to be any more red.

As the scene shifted to the school courtyard where Luke and Aaron sat on the bench, Aaron once again behind the camera, the narrator said, "With an incredible amount of patience, Luke dedicated all of his free time to tutoring Kaylee. As challenging as it was, he enjoyed every single minute studying with the Mustang cheerleader.

"But Kaylee also buckled down and studied hard. Once on the verge of failing math and chemistry, she took a gamble on Luke -- he was her last resort. Kaylee passed her midterms with flying colors, and in both math and chem she earned a 'B'!"

The drive-in erupted with cheers causing Kaylee to blush intensely. Smiling ear to ear, her eyes watering, she couldn't take her eyes off of the screen. Kaylee glanced over at Luke. He had already been looking at her and flashed a very uncharacteristic devious kind of smile. Luke affectionately reached over and put his arm around her shoulders.

The movie continued with Luke and Aaron in the school courtyard. Aaron pointed the camera at Luke and asked him, "So how do you feel now that midterms are over?"

Luke shrugged, "Fine, I guess."

"Fine? That's all you have to say for my documentary?"

"Um... really fine?"

Aaron sighed, unimpressed with his lackluster response. "Dude, you're killing me. I know these tests aren't hard for you, but say something at least. Most people are ecstatic that midterms are over, like they can see the light at the end of the tunnel."

"There's not much to say. I took them, I got an A on all of them," he said casually. "Well, here's something, now that I think about it. Actually I did a lot less studying and preparation for midterms, probably the least amount of my life. I pretty much only had time to study for my college classes."

Aaron sounded surprised, "That's not normal for you, Luke. Why?"

"Probably because I've focused most of my time tutoring Kaylee. Probably more than all of the other students I've tutored combined. As a result, I stayed up later catching up on my own homework, but I didn't put in as many hours as I normally would."

Aaron snickered childishly, "I bet you 'tutored' her. Way to go, Luke! How was she?"

Luke rolled his eyes, "It's not like that. She wouldn't give me the time of day if I asked to kiss her high heels." He narrowed his eyes and looked down and to the side, engaging in deeper thought, "Don't get me wrong, though; she's a nice girl whenever she stops thinking about popularity and social circles. Lately she's reminded me more of that carefree first-grader I used to be friends with. She puts up a front so she can be one of the popular girls, but deep down you can tell she is kind and giving and compassionate. Kaylee's really a sweetheart."

"Then why is she with that douchebag, Brad, over there? I'm sorry, I mean 'Bradley', the more feminine version of the name Brad," Aaron said, swinging his camera to the large senior on the other side of the courtyard with his arm draped around Kaylee. The camera swept back to Luke, capturing a great look of disappointment on his face, almost wincing as if in pain. He couldn't take his eyes off of Bradley and Kaylee; they looked so happy together. Aaron's question didn't seem to sink in.

A bunch of "Aww's" and "Ohh's" echoed throughout the drive-in as Luke seemed to win over the hearts of the majority of the female audience. Kaylee would have slumped further into her seat if Luke didn't stop her. "I don't remember doing that... I hate that part," she pouted with a guilty look on her face, but she held Luke's hand tighter.

"Just keep watching," Luke calmly told her, even though he seemed a little awkward watching that scene himself.

But onscreen, she seemed so happy; she was talking and laughing with Bradley, Audrey, Cindy, and Mick.

"Well, I guess now that midterms are over, things are back to normal. No more tutoring, no more Kaylee. At least until finals come around, huh, Luke?"

Luke shrugged, "It seems that way. At least my body will be less sore from now on without her Nazi-style boot camp. Well, it's great to see her so cheerful; she obviously didn't fail any of the classes she was worried about. I'm happy for her." A slight upward curve arose on his lips, breaking the crestfallen look on his face, despite his head hanging low.

Aaron got quiet for a second and lowered his camera. "Dude, I hate being the one to tell you, but you know she's using you. Right?"

Luke didn't respond.

"I mean," Aaron continued, "she's not in our league, man. And there's nothing wrong with that. You're a good guy, man. Just don't get your hopes up about her. It'll never happen, and I'm telling you as a friend. A girl like that... she's not from our world."

Luke gave him a delayed nod, "Maybe. You're probably right. I know at first she started out using me, and that's fine, but I just can't quite tell if she was or not at the end. She probably was, but only subconsciously at least. I mean, she definitely reciprocated, buying me clothes and taking me to the gym. The human mind can be a tricky thing. Did I tell you she apologized to me once?"

Aaron was shocked, "Really? For what?"

Luke smiled, "Long story."

The narrator continued, "But was Kaylee really using Luke for her grades, or was the angel -- as Luke called her -- developing feelings for the Remmington Mustang recluse?"

The scene shifted once again. "So what did you get for Christmas," Kaylee exclaimed, obviously on Christmas morning a few years past. This time, the view of Kaylee was somewhat distorted; the camera didn't appear to be focusing directly on her as she was only halfway in the frame and a little out of focus. The audio was much clearer.

"This phone, for starters," Audrey said, fumbling with the buttons. "I love it, but I can't figure out how the camera mode works. What about you?"

"Oh, the usual stuff from my parents," she calmly said. Her voice quickly turned into a squeal as she told Audrey, "but Luke got me the most adorable stuffed yorkie! He even bought a little plaid collar for him with a cute silver name tag!"

Kaylee came into view of the camera; Audrey must have set it down, unknowingly recording her best friend. Audrey asked, "That sounds adorable! So what did you decide to name it?"

Kaylee blushed, "Luke named it, actually. As kind of a joke. He even inscribed on the tag, 'Veruca', and on the back, 'Since you always wanted a sister, here you go. Just like her big sister, Veruca is beautiful, playful, loving, and SPOILED.'"

The audience laughed. "Rotten... spoiled rotten. But I couldn't get all of the lettering to fit on the tag." Luke whispered, unable to contain his smirk. Kaylee punched his shoulder.

Audrey laughed hysterically, "Veruca, as in the spoiled brat with the rich dad in Willy Wonka? I guess Luke does have you pegged. And he has a sense of humor!"

Clearly embarrassed, Kaylee ran her fingers bashfully through her hair and said, "Even when he sees my flaws, he understands me and accepts it. He called me Veruca a long time ago and I had no idea what he meant or who that was. I was furious when I Googled it two weeks later and realized I was being insulted, even if it was in a playful manner. I would have torn his head off if I weren't so worried about chasing him away. He's lucky my grades were still suffering."

Audrey laughed again, "Even back then I think there was something deep down inside you that wouldn't let go of Luke! Don't even try to pretend it was for your grades."

Kaylee sat down at the table and didn't say a word. Instead she placed her chin in her hand, wearing a smile from ear to ear, seemingly daydreaming thoughts of happiness.

Squinting through a tiny slit between two fingers, yet unable to take her eyes off of the movie, Kaylee exclaimed, "I... remember that! I had no idea Audrey recorded that!"

Audrey and Kaylee vanished as the scene slowly faded into black.

The music slowly morphed into a somber tune, foretelling that the entire movie was about to change. The narrator solemnly said, "Their recent discovery of how they felt about each other wouldn't have a chance to blossom."

An American Flag against a backdrop of a blood-red sky slowly waved in the invisible wind. "Now an adult in his own right, Luke joined the United States Air Force." The flag faded away, replaced with U.S. fighter jets soaring across the sky.

The screen flashed with miscellaneous back-to-back images. The night sky exploded in bright green as flares deployed from a C-130, the scene filmed through a night vision lens. Bombs dropped on enemy targets with precision guided by crosshairs. Artillery filled the night sky with tracer fire guiding a steady stream of ammunition. Soldiers fired while being fired upon. Missiles launched from the underbellies of pair of F-22 Raptors. A flight of HH-60 Pave Hawks deployed Special Operations forces fifty feet down the cable and to the desert floor within seconds; other Spec Ops soldiers simultaneously laid down cover fire from the door.

The helicopters hovered over the desert sand as the narrator announced, "Luke Patton would leave Kaylee before they even had a chance to explore their feelings and adoration for each other. Luke found his way across the vast blue ocean and into a foreign land, and on the other side of the world as Kaylee. His nation called and he answered. Luke would serve and defend, fighting enemy forces and risking his life for his brothers and sisters in arms. He would face the greatest tragedy of all, witnessing the fall of his brethren. Shot down over enemy territory, he ran for his life, narrowly escaping the clutches of the adversary. For weeks, the United States Armed Forces launched the biggest search and recovery operation in history. They were unsuccessful."

The screen went black.

"All that was found were his dog tags. Luke Patton was declared dead."

Kaylee's eyes flooded over causing mascara to run down her face. She looked over at Luke, noticing his head pointed towards the movie screen but his eyes settling below it, deliberately focusing elsewhere to avoid the painful memories.

A KC-10, a military tanker and cargo jet, appeared against the backdrop of a bright blue California sky. The narrator said, "But there was still hope. After evading the enemy for weeks, Airman Patton found a way to reach out to his rescuers, reminding them he was still out there."

"He suffered injuries but his heart still beat strong. He was alive. And soon, he would be brought safely home."

After the jet landed and pulled up to the red carpet, the door opened and out came Luke, one arm waving to the crowd while the other remained in a sling. He was immediately greeted with an emotional, tearful embrace by his parents and sister.

The entire audience began to cheer, both on-screen and off-screen, celebrating Luke's return. Several car horns echoed throughout the drive-in parking lot. For Kaylee, it was like celebrating his return all over again. Watching him come off of that plane a second time was enough to make her heart skip a beat. Kaylee smiled as she watched the events unfolding, reaching over to Luke's hand, already on her shoulder, and squeezed it tightly.

"Luke Patton was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his actions of heroism and the Purple Heart for his sustained injuries from enemy forces," the narrator continued. "The impact he made against terrorists who would seek to find a way to destroy the United States was nothing short of devastating. He served his country proudly, destroyed enemy insurgents, and protected those he loved.

"Now, finally, he was home. And he was safe."

The tone of the voice turned somber as the picture once again faded to black, "But his war was not over."

Kaylee held her breath, dreading what was coming next. She was afraid. All of the best and worst moments of her life were highlighted on the movie screen for all the world to see. Why was she being tortured like this? She could barely control her emotions -- good, bad... all of her emotions.




3: Scars Remain Ch. 05



The scene shifted to an erratic and unsteady video camera shot. Just along the edge of the screen, Luke and Kaylee stood in line at the drive-in.

Kaylee instantly recognized the drive-in; it was the very same one she was at right now. She felt like sobbing, remembering what would soon happen. In her mind she could hear the car backfire a split second before it happened onscreen.

BOOM!

The thunderous sound was enough to cause the camera to shake. Luke jumped, but immediately tugged Kaylee's hand and pulled her downwards, covering her body with his as he crouched down low. He wrapped both arms around her tightly in a protective bear hug.

"STAY DOWN," he yelled at Kaylee, shielding her with his body. Down to his core Luke was shaking but he held his position firm, protecting Kaylee. He was reaching for something along his waist, desperately grabbing for something that wasn't there.

Everyone in the line stared at the couple. Most were frozen with shock, but a few were laughing.

Kaylee gritted her teeth, her eyes puffy and red. It hurt watching, reliving that painful moment once again. If Luke were not with her, she would have bolted from the drive-in.

He could obviously hear her sniffing and see her tears. Luke pulled her gently towards him until she settled onto his lap, caressing her head as it fell back into his chest, looking away from the screen.

Luke squeezed her tightly, knowing exactly why she was hurting, and said, "I'm ok, honey. That's in the past. Haven't I been getting better?"

She paused, sniffing. She nodded her head, still buried against his chest.

"Are you ok? Will you watch the rest of the movie with me?"

Slowly picking her head up, she nodded.

"Good. You don't want to miss the next part. Do you want to stay in my lap?"

Again, she nodded, turning her attention back to the screen.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder manifested within Luke in an ugly way," the narrator explained. "The horrors of war had finally caught up with him at home. Every night his head filled with nightmares and every day things that seemed insignificant, like crowds or loud noises, were enough to traumatize him."

Kaylee desperately tried to get through to Luke. Moving in closer, her nose within inches of his, Kaylee desperately placed both of her hands on his face and raised her voice just enough to get his attention, "Luke, Luke, Luke! Look at me, baby."

Luke dropped back down to his knees, still shaking and confused. He momentarily glanced at Kaylee; it was as if he didn't recognize her.

One of the onlookers laughed, "What the ---- is his problem?" It was obvious which key word had been bleeped out.

"Holy ----, are you seeing this," another chuckled.

Grinding his teeth, Luke tried to look around but Kaylee held his head in her hands, gently but firmly, refusing to let him look away from her gaze. Tears began forming in her eyes, his suffering almost too much to bear for her, his mind clearly stuck in a foreign land.

As calmly as she could, she cooed, "Luke, look at me, no one else. Stay with me baby. I'm right here. You're radiant angel is here... remember me? Stay with me, please..."

His head didn't move, but his eyes were darting all around him, gradually beginning to center. Soon, he found Kaylee's eyes.

The beast was starting to leave him; Luke was returning. As his awareness came back, a look of embarrassment and shame crossed his face. It broke Kaylee's heart. "You have nothing to be ashamed about," she whispered to him, kissing his lips.

Luke's eyes watered and he cast his eyes down. Kaylee gently took his chin and raised his head. "You're a hero, Luke. Even before you went overseas, you were always my hero. I mean it; you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about."

She wouldn't let him avoid the issue. "Luke, I love you, and that's all that matters to me. Do you love me, too?"

After a brief pause, Luke nodded his head in acknowledgement. She wasn't sure if he believed her, but she still smiled through her tears as she witnessed his confidence returning little by little. The emotion running through her was intense, but she knew it wasn't a fraction of what Luke was feeling.

"Of course I love you. I... I'm sor..."

Kaylee cut him off, "Luke, you do not need to apologize for that. There is nothing to apologize for."

Again, Luke reluctantly nodded.

"We're working through it. You'll get better in no time."

Kaylee stood up, coaxing Luke to do the same. She threw her arms around him one last time. "We can go home if you like; we don't have to stay for the movie."

Luke shook his head, quietly whispering to her, "We can stay."

Watching the affair unfold onscreen, Luke smiled while running his fingers through her blonde hair. "My turn to ask. Now that our movie star couple appears to be doing better, do you want to stay and see what happens next?"

Kaylee giggled weakly, wiping away the few remaining tears and nodded, "We can stay."

The narrator said, "Kaylee, the dream girl that once made fun of the young high school boy, stood by Luke every step of the way. No matter how damaged he may have been, nothing deterred her from remaining by his side. Her love for him was unconditional, and she knew he felt the same way about her. The young girl that once could have never imagined studying with a nerd was now head over heels in love with him and was willing to go any length to make sure he was safe."

Once Kaylee was certain that Luke was within arms reach of his Challenger, Kaylee stormed back towards the crowd. Her once calm and peaceful face, put on display for the sake of Luke, instantly turned into a snarl. Staring down every one of them, she screamed, "What the ---- is WRONG with you people?" Even with a very emotional but absent word, her lips were easy to read. She quickly lurched forward, snatching the recorder out of the hands of the cameraman, and threw it on the ground as hard as she could. The screen immediately went black, but the narrator added, "With love so incredibly strong for Luke, Kaylee became not only his biggest supporter on his road to recovery, but also his protector."

Laughter rose up from the audience; a few whistles and even a "go Kaylee!" went up from the crowd. Luke whispered in Kaylee's ear, "That's my firecracker. And that's also the reason I'll always stay on your good side."

Kaylee bit her lip and smiled despite her red face, shaking her head in disbelief, "I thought the memory card was destroyed when I threw that camera down."

"Well, looks like someone was able to repair it," Luke said nonchalantly. He added, "See? I told you you'd want to stay for that part."

A new face appeared on the screen.

"Are you filming," Cindy asked, nervously looking at the camera and uncomfortably fidgeting in her chair despite the warm and comfortable environment containing a rich walnut bookcase and two thriving houseplants in the background.

"Whenever you're ready; take your time," the voice behind the camera said -- the same voice as the narrator.

Kaylee noticed that unlike most of the footage so far, this wasn't a high school version of Cindy; it looked like it was filmed in the present day.

"Ok, so. Kaylee Reed. What can I say about her? We were... pretty good friends in high school all the way up until senior year. Me, her, and Audrey were pretty tight, kind of like the female version of the three musketeers," she said with a smile.

"At first, anyway. We did everything together; cheerleading, drama, you name it. But," she hesitated, "we were kind of stuck up snobs. We really were; not so much Audrey, but especially Kaylee and I. So, when I found out she was being tutored nightly from Luke Patton," she said, eyes downcast on her guilty-looking face, "I really gave her a hard time for it. I mean, it's amazing how immature we all were back then -- especially me. And it kind of cost us our friendship"

She earnestly looked at the camera and said, "I really regret that. I have for years. I wish we were still friends."

Kaylee was clearly saddened by Cindy's honest confession. If her eyes were wet beforehand, they weren't about to dry out any time soon. She had missed Cindy's friendship too, and wondered why she hadn't tried to reconcile with Cindy after all of these years. Maybe it wasn't too late.

"I guess Luke helped Kaylee mature faster than I did." Shaking her head, Cindy said, "no one could have imagined what Luke would become." She quickly elaborated, not wanting to be misunderstood, "I'm not just talking about him being a hero. I mean everything about him -- who he is, the compassion he displays. Everything. I saw how he bent over backwards to help Kaylee study in high school, and he wasn't really getting anything out of it."

Cindy sighed, "I even had the privilege of... kind of... going out with Luke a few times during the rocky parts of his and Kaylee's relationship. I know, I shouldn't have, but he had turned from zero to hero so how could I resist? I'd like to think I had grown up a little by that time. Maybe not. A-anyway, Luke was the perfect gentleman both times. Although when I made him take me to that pool party, he couldn't keep his eyes off of Kaylee no matter how hard he tried. I hated that."

Her scowl turned into a laugh, "Still, he was so nice and attentive; every girl's dream. It was just too bad his heart was with someone else."

It was Luke's turn to blush. Kaylee turned to him with a smile, kissing him on the cheek. "She's right about you. Every word. Especially that last part."

Looking at the camera, Cindy smiled from ear to ear, "So, Luke and Kaylee, if you are watching, I hope you know I wish you two the best. Love you both!"

The screen quickly shifted to Clint Wayne, formerly Luke's lieutenant, standing in the forefront of a small private poolside bar.

"Airman Luke Patton; what can I say about him," Clint said with a knowing smile. "I really don't even have the right words. I mean, what can you say about the guy who saved your life? Not only that, but he risked his life to do so and nearly got himself killed. I was hit multiple times and he laid down fire, drawing the insurgents' attention off of me."

Clint paused, taking a drink from his chilled glass while he tried to figure out what to say next, "We were already evading; it wasn't like we were supposed to engage the enemy. He could have bolted, or hid, or at least fallen back to take fire from a better covered position, but he held his ground to buy time for search and rescue to show up. They airlifted me out of there, but... Luke was left behind."

The look on his face showed discomfort as he reflected back and said, "I've always regretted that. Before all of that, we at least had each other to rely on, but now he was alone."

His face changed, a subtle smile creeping up, "Still, and I have no idea how, but he made it out of there. I can't imagine what he was going through alone, but he made it out. So, imagine my surprise when several months later he calls me out of the blue, looking for a place to stay."

The cameraman asked him, "Did he tell you why?"

Clint shrugged, "No, but I could tell why. I knew why. I'd been there before."

Stoically, Clint said, "He was in a dark place and he didn't see any way out. Even people in the worst of circumstances find comfort in sleeping, or simply closing their eyes. With Luke, that just made it worse because you can't keep your guard up when you're eyes are closed. I didn't know exactly what he was going through back in California, but I was more than willing to take him in for a while."

Scratching the back of his head, he gave the camera a guilty look and said, "I was ok with it except for the Kaylee part. He told me I couldn't tell anyone he was up here; especially her."

Kaylee scowled at Luke. He turned his head away, rubbing her shoulders as if maybe, some how, it might actually take the sting away.

"I mean, I get it; he didn't want to hurt her anymore. But he couldn't see by that action, he was hurting her even worse. I told him it was a bad idea but when all was said and done he did save my life, so I was in his debt. I still feel guilty for lying." Clint looked directly at the camera and awkwardly said, "If you're watching this: Sorry, Kaylee. I know I've told you before, but I really am," as if he was looking right at her.

With a slight curve to his lip, forming a half-smile, Clint turned back to the cameraman and said, "Still, she ended up finding him, anyway. Smart girl."

Turning back to the camera again, Clint said, "Luke and Kaylee, you two deserve happiness, especially after all you've been through. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more than you two. I wish you the best."

The screen once again shifted. This time, both Audrey and Faith were being filmed side by side.

Audrey asked, "Ready?"

The cameraman must have nodded, signifying he was ready, because Audrey started speaking. Nervously waving to the camera, she said, "Hi Kaylee, your two best friends are here. I don't think there is anything we can say that you don't know. I know you and I were there from the beginning, and I think we've grown up a lot. You certainly have, no doubt. Of course, with the whole sandbox thing, you didn't really have a choice. As much as everything that happened to Luke tore me up, I can't imagine what you felt. I just want you to know how proud of you I am, and how strong I think you are. I know you've told me time and time again that you don't deserve Luke. Well, the old Kaylee... not so much. But the new Kaylee, the one watching this on the big screen; you both are so amazing and have been through so much! You definitely deserve each other!"

Audrey continued, "And Luke? I can't think of a better person for her. It's clear how much you adored her from day one, and how much you still do. Take care of my best friend!"

Kaylee sniffed as she watched Audrey pour her heart out. She couldn't have asked for a better friend.

"Kaylee," Faith said, "you might not know this, but I've always looked up to you, since I was a freshman. Well before you knew who I was."

Luke snickered, "Like you didn't know that already."

Kaylee, choked up, pretended to elbow him, "Be nice! That's your sister! You don't know how lucky you are to have her."

Faith continued, "Even when Luke first started to help you study, well before the fireworks incident, you still made me feel important. You took the time to go shopping with me, gave me fashion advice... everything! You really went out of your way to humor me, and somehow along the way I was fortunate enough that it turned into a real, genuine friendship. I just want you to know that Luke is the greatest big brother ever, and he's lucky to have you." It took Faith everything she had to resist crying. She tried to say something else, but she shook her head and waved off the camera, clearly choked up. Audrey put an arm around her.

The scene shifted to Aaron. It looked like he was at a park; a large lake served as the main backdrop.

"Careful with the camera," he said before clearing his throat and putting on a serious face for the audience. "Luke and Kaylee," Aaron said. "I don't even know where to begin with that one. No one on planet Earth could have seen it coming. The nerd and the angel. The loser and the princess. The...,"

The voice behind the camera -- this time Luke's voice -- interrupted, "I think they get it, go on."

Puzzled, Kaylee blurted out, "That's your voice! Is that you filming Aaron?"

Luke shushed her, "I can't hear anything! Quiet, girl!"

Quiet, girl? Defiantly, Kaylee stared Luke down and seductively growled, "Ruff!"

Kaylee had been overwhelmed with a variety of emotions throughout the 'movie', but no other moment so far found her more amused than she was now. Finding it funny and strange and unexpected all at the same time, Kaylee tried not to giggle too loudly.

"Ok, so, that's like every fantasy come true for guys like us." He shook his head, "I don't know how you did it, but well done Luke. You give all of us underdogs hope. You know, it's like you said; girls like that aren't from the same world as guys like me and you. Then again, you've done some amazing things. I suspect you somehow broke free from that world, just to find hers and not only enter it, but turn it upside-down. You've done what no one thought was possible -- probably not even her. Congrats, Luke."

Aaron smiled, "And Kaylee? With all of that being said, I don't think you could have found anyone better."

Kaylee smiled and Luke squeezed her tightly. "He's right," she beamed.

Aaron reached his arms out to take the camera, carefully flipping it around one hundred and eighty degrees until it found a backdrop dominated with pink. Cherry blossoms gently floated down from the trees like raindrops in slow motion, gathering on the ground while Luke stood in the forefront.

Luke smiled, "Kaylee, I've thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you. I was never good at telling you how I feel in person, so hopefully this will be a little easier for me. There is so much I want to tell you, and it would take all day. So let me summarize, but I have to start at the beginning.

"I've changed so much on this journey we call life. I owe my foundation to my parents; I was really lucky growing up. They taught me to study hard and to focus on my goals no matter what I wanted to achieve. They loved me unconditionally, and encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be." He breathed in deeply, "And then came first grade. From the first moment I saw you, even back then, you were the epitome of perfection. And then we went out separate ways, but when I saw you again in high school, I knew my life would never be the same. I never imagined I would ever have you on my arm, don't get me wrong. But the feelings I've had for you... it made me feel alive. I'd never experienced anything like it before or since then."

He hesitated, "Do you want to know the truth? I was terrified when you asked me if I would tutor you. I knew it would not end well. I almost said no, but in the end, I couldn't do that because it wouldn't be right, and it wouldn't be fair to you. You simply needed my help studying, and who was I to deny that? I tried to be myself, even though I was crazy about you. You were with someone else at the time, and the last thing I wanted to do was butt in." Luke laughed, adding, "Not like I had a chance with you. Nonetheless, you made it much more challenging for me to focus on my own homework. You weren't mine, but somehow you made me feel stronger. Somehow, we ended up as friends. And then, to my surprise -- and everyone else's -- we became a little more than friends."

A guilty look crossed his face, "And then I joined the Air Force. You probably don't want to hear it, but you gave me the strength and confidence I needed to do that. It's a good thing, though. The military made me stronger. Of course, you remember the rest. Helicopter crash... Missing in Action... returning home. By the time I made it back to you, I had changed so much I'm surprised you recognized me. I didn't even recognize myself. I'm surprised you even wanted anything to do with me, as damaged as I was. In a way... still am.

"Yet you stayed with me, through everything. Despite showing you my worst. Even though I felt like I had changed into a monster, you never gave up on me."

Luke paused for a moment and said, "You changed, too. But all of your change was for the better. You've developed into the most compassionate, caring, loving person imaginable. One of the best parts about being in the Air Force was realizing that I was making a difference in people's lives, especially being over there in the desert. Even more gratifying was the thought that I was not only protecting them, but that I was protecting you. What I didn't realize was that even though I was protecting you over there, you protected me when I came home. When I needed you the most, you were there."




3: Scars Remain Ch. 05



Clearing his throat, Luke took a deep breath.

The camera followed Luke as he bent down on one knee.

Kaylee gasped, eyes glued to the screen and oblivious to the fact that Luke had opened the car door and carefully scooted her off of his lap.

"Kaylee," Luke began to ask, still looking at the camera, "I can't imagine going a single day without you by my side. I want you to be a permanent part of my life. I know I do not deserve you, but my heart couldn't stand it if I never asked. I guess there's only one way to find out if you feel the same way."

Luke pulled out a black velvet box and opened it as Aaron zoomed in. "Kaylee," he said...

Whispering softly in her ear, bending down on one knee just outside the Challenger and holding the same black box featured on the big screen, Luke asked her, "Will you marry me?"

Inside was a gorgeous clear princess-cut diamond, carefully sitting upon the prongs of a white-gold ring.

Kaylee, squirming in the driver's seat, brought both hands up to her mouth and silently gasped.

After a few seconds, she wrapped her arms around Luke and erupted in a fountain of tears, squeezing him so hard he was almost knocked over.

He stood up, outside the car, holding Kaylee in his arms. She held on tightly, wrapping her legs around him. There wasn't a patch of dry skin on her face. Luke smiled and whispered, "I'll take that as a positive sign, but you officially have to answer the question!"

Kaylee, having overcome her initial shock, nodded her head against his shoulder. She blurted out, "Yes! Yes, Luke, Yes! I will marry you!"

Kaylee heard the entire parking lot erupting with cheers and blasting their car horns. Out of the corner of her eye she saw herself hugging Luke up on the theatre screen; it was a live shot.

Luke gently took her cheeks in his hand and began to kiss her. Sliding one hand behind her neck and the other behind her waist, he didn't let up. Taking a step to the side, Luke leaned his girl against the rear door while her legs wrapped even tighter around his waist. Luke had kissed her before, but never like this. She was surprised but not enough to stop her from kissing him back so passionately he would remember it for the rest of his life.

Kaylee thought that several minutes had gone by, but everyone was still cheering and Luke was still kissing her. She didn't want it to stop. There was so much she wanted to discuss with Luke; their wedding, their honeymoon, their flock of babies, and even growing old and gray together. But there would be time for that later. They had forever.

After all they had sacrificed, or at least after all that he had sacrificed, it would be well deserved.

Thank you, Jesus; thank you thank you thank you, she prayed, over and over. Looking into the eyes of the man of her dreams, after all she had done to hurt him in the past, her prayers of thanks came naturally. She couldn't live without him, and he -- for whatever reason -- wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

Maybe she didn't deserve Luke, maybe she did. But either way she knew they had been greatly blessed. Given the mountain of obstacles they had faced, there was a time she would have felt a sense of entitlement but now all she felt was thankfulness. Besides, their trials, burdens, and testing of their faith developed perseverance in them both. She was convinced that anything they might face during their marriage they would tackle together, making it no more than small, simple hills. No; actually, more like speed bumps.

After he stopped kissing her, Luke said, "I love you, Kaylee Reed."

"I love you too, Luke Patton," she replied. With a subtle smile, she said, "Next time you say it, it will be 'I love you, Kaylee Patton!'" She couldn't help giggling. Even as she put her wobbly legs back on the ground -- still leaning against the Challenger -- her heart still fluttered over him.

And she knew he felt the same way. She could see it in his eyes. She could always tell by his eyes. As she leaned forward to kiss Luke again, she noticed out of the corner of her eye a picture on the movie screen all too familiar to her. Kaylee had her arms around Luke's neck as the two kissed in a warm embrace after he stepped off of the jet, having just returned from his deployment.

"You set me up, Luke," she cooed.

Luke gave her one of his very rare devious smiles. He simply nodded. "It's not often I get to set you up. But I have to be modest and admit I had a lot of help. I had no idea how many friends -- and even friends of friends -- that you had. But thanks to social networking, Faith and Audrey did a pretty good job filling up the parking lot. But I digress; let's focus on more important issues, like when do you want to get married?"

She sighed with a smile, "I don't care when; just sooner than later."

"I can't promise you we won't have any problems, or that I won't keep having nightmares. I'm better, but I still have a ways to go," Luke said warily, looking at her nervously.

"I told you I'll always be by your side, and we'll get through this -- through anything -- together. Besides, I can still cuff you to the headboard so you can't hurt me. I told you baby, you're not getting rid of me that easily," she laughed. "I'll love you until the day I die, Luke Patton."

Luke gave her a knowing look and said, "You and those handcuffs -- you'd like that, wouldn't you?" He smiled, adding, "I'll always love you, Kaylee. I always have, I think. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, if I'm honest with myself. Regardless, I know I always will, for the rest of my life."

Luke's statement made her curious about herself; about when the moment she first fell in love with Luke might have been. More than that, she wondered when the moment was that she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

She stole one more glance at the picture on the screen, remembering when Luke came home and how she lost complete control of herself, giving him such a passionate kiss and then running away, afraid for their future.

She had her answer.

Epilogue

"Kaylee Elizabeth Patton. I love the way that sounds," Kaylee smiled, brushing a few golden strands of her hair out of her face as the crisp cool breeze slightly picked up.

The newlyweds strolled down the beach, focusing solely on each other despite the grey overcast sky. Her left hand intertwined with Luke's right, but she still couldn't help periodically touching her wedding band with her thumb as if she had to make sure she was still married to the most wonderful man in the world.

It must have been obvious because each time she did that Luke would give her hand a quick squeeze, as if saying, "I'm still here."

Her sandals dangled from the fingertips of her free hand, allowing her to walk carefree and barefoot in the cold sand. Every couple of seconds Kaylee stole a glance at Luke, her husband, who had become her world.

Her love for him was so deep that she wondered how she managed to keep her hands off of him -- and the other way around. "How on earth did I let you take me to the marriage bed pure? I'm not sure if that was part of my plan," she blushed.

Luke may have been blushing an even deeper shade of red. "I thought after our first time I'd never be able to walk again. Remember that scene from Bambi where his legs wouldn't work? Yeah, that was pretty much me."

Kaylee giggled.

"Do you regret that we waited," he asked.

She emphatically shook her head no. "Quite the opposite," she said, her face turning red. "I'm glad we waited, as hard as it was for me to be patient. It couldn't have been more special. Thank you again, Luke. You may be the most chivalrous man I know." Kaylee leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips.

Luke smiled. It wasn't the same bashful smile Kaylee remembered from when they first started dating; it was a smile of pure joy and happiness. As if he could embrace the fact that he had finally found his soul mate. "You know, I'm still surprised you wanted to go to the beach for our honeymoon. I was expecting France or Italy or something."

Kaylee laughed, "I told you, this feels... well, it feels right. Actually, I think 'perfect' is a better word. It feels perfect. Just you and I, finally reunited on the same side of the ocean. Look at how big, blue, and beautiful it is. We have the rest of our lives to travel Europe."

"Besides," she added, somewhat timidly, "with mom and dad cutting me off, and you and I wanting to start a family so soon, we need to save up."

Luke stopped walking, pulling Kaylee into his arms. He didn't look too happy. "Kaylee! Are you telling me for your one and only honeymoon, you passed up Europe just because of money? We've been married for two months now!" Luke and Kaylee mutually decided to delay their honeymoon until after she finished up her last couple classes. "We had time to save up a little more to make that happen. And you know mom and dad would have helped out..."

Kaylee put a finger on his lips, smiling from ear to ear. Luke's serious lecture didn't make her flinch one bit. If anything, it amused her.

His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed, trying to figure out what she was hiding.

"Kaylee," Luke said slowly. "What aren't you telling me?"

Kaylee giggled, biting her lip. Her laughter was adorable; it was so playful and carefree. Even though she was playing 'I have a secret' with Luke, he couldn't help but feel that everything was finally perfect. She had been through so much, and deserved to be happy.

And she was happy.

Kaylee took off, running down the shoreline as fast as she could, kicking up a wake of sand behind her and giggling the entire way.

"Hey!" was all Luke could get out, taking off after her. Despite Kaylee's two-second head start, thanks to Luke's shock, her husband took off at a dead sprint and was on her in no time.

Kaylee screamed playfully, falling into the sand but not before dragging Luke down with her.

Rolling onto her back and tugging on Luke's shirt, she planted a kiss on his lips; it was so passionate time seemed to stand still.

Luke almost forgot why he chased her down; he was hypnotized, completely captured and under her spell. He might have forgotten if Kaylee didn't give him that same look, the 'I know something you don't know!' stare.

It was driving Luke crazy; out of principle, more than anything. He wasn't one to leave a puzzle unsolved, and the look on her face was definitely a puzzle.

"What? Will you just tell me already?"

Kaylee didn't say a word. She took Luke by the hand and gently placed it on her stomach.

He patiently waited for a clue. Kaylee laughed and shook her head again. The tip of her tongue poked out between her teeth as she smiled.

"Do you need another clue," she asked him in her sweet, soft voice.

"Another clue?"

Her laughter was bordering on uncontrollable. Luke was becoming exasperated.

"What were we just talking about," Kaylee said cryptically. "Think back to only a few moments ago."

Luke thought hard. Kaylee encouraged him, nodding her head as he began to form the puzzle pieces together.

Verbalizing his thought process, Luke said aloud, "Talking about Europe... mom and dad helping to pay... saving up money... for..."

Luke's eyes opened wide, as if he just made the greatest scientific discovery known to man.

Bending down, placing his head against Kaylee's stomach, Luke exclaimed, "We're going to be... How long?? What is it??"

"Settle down, cowboy! It's still early, we don't know if it's a he or she just yet!"

Luke kissed her stomach over and over with soft, gentle kisses. Kaylee ran her fingers through his hair. Boy or girl, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that it was hers and Luke's, and they were going to start their family.

It tickled when Luke's kisses turned into butterfly kisses, sweeping his nose across her belly the way that only a father could.

Lying on her back, Kaylee looked up to the clouds, holding her husband close to her. In that one brief moment, she reflected on her entire life. She grew up rotten and spoiled, making bad decision after bad decision. She blew second chances and third chances. She was absolutely horrible to Luke; back in high school, anyway. Yet somehow, through all the pain and all the storms in her life, God forgave her. And He blessed her. He brought her through the pain, and He continued to heal Luke, little by little, every day.

This was as close as anyone could ever get to the fairy-tale ending that many so desperately wanted, but few ever seemed to get. Sure, there would be difficult times ahead of them, but there wasn't anything that they couldn't do together and with the good Lord's guidance.

She closed her eyes and mouthed a silent, "Thank you, God."

The gentle breeze picked up and a single ray of light began to break the cloud cover, shining down over the couple lying in the sand. At least it seemed like it was shining on them.

Yep, Kaylee thought to herself, Europe can definitely wait.

Everything was too good to be true. If this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up. Even though, a long time ago, Kaylee didn't initially recognize him as the man of her dreams she finally found out (and fortunately before it was too late) it was really Luke all along.

But Luke was so much more than the man of her dreams.

From the moment Luke began educating Kaylee, he gradually transformed -- in her eyes, at least -- from loser, to underdog, to hero.

He really was a hero all along; her hero. She just didn't see it at first.

But now she knew, and she would get to spend the rest of her life with him.

Could it get any better?

Gently touching her hand to her tummy, dreaming about her future with Luke, she thought maybe it could...

-Fin