25 comments/ 56148 views/ 21 favorites Saint Barnabas Started It By: Moondrift Chapter 1. School Days. Jenny laid back feeling strangely elated even though their coupling had been hurried. It had been so sweet, the taking of Mark's virginity, however briefly. "I'll never forget you," he murmured. She smiled and replied gently, "Yes you will, darling, because you must; you'll go away and the memory of me will fade and you'll meet some nice girl, marry her and have children and that is how it should be." It was his last day at St. Barnabas, a private school for boys. She had often thought it a strange and frustrating place to educate boys and, in their final year, what were really young men. They were cut off from female company except for the school matron, a few women who worked as cleaners and kitchen staff, and wives of house masters like herself. Then again, she was isolated herself in the system. At eighteen she had lost both her parents. Six months after their death she had taken a short holiday at a seaside resort. There she had met Roger. Six weeks later they were married. It was an incongruous union since Roger was forty, a bachelor and housemaster at St. Barnabas; yet at the time they seemed to meet each other's needs. She saw in him the father figure that she had missed so desperately since the death of her real father. Roger had reached that point in his life when after years of celibacy he saw a lovely young girl whom he thought would fill the lonely years ahead. They were rather like two people clinging to a life raft in an endless sea. Within a short time after their marriage they both knew it had been a mistake, but neither had found the courage to admit it. Roger was unable to give Jenny what she as an ardent young woman needed. This meant frustration for her and feelings of inadequacy for Roger. When he brought her back to St. Barnabas and his housemaster's residence, there had been a furore among the dowdy and middle-aged wives of the other masters. These wives were jealous of her youthful beauty and were very aware of the interest their husbands took in her. Their spitefulness and envy were hidden under such remarks as, "What does Roger think he's doing, marrying a girl her age? He must be mad and she's probably a tart on the make." What exactly Jenny was to "make" given Roger's unremarkable salary was never defined. In short, Jenny found herself on the outer in a narrow academic world that was itself on the outer, or shall we say, isolated from much of mainstream life. Roger too shared some of this isolation, since he was the object of the harridans' wrath because he had brought Jenny into their little world. The one bright spot in Jenny's new life were the boys. Their ages ranged from about twelve to eighteen, and not unexpectedly for boys going through that time of raging sex hormones with its accompanying overflowing sperm count, they took particular interest in this lovely wife of "Old Brandyballs" as they had named Roger – his name was Roger Brandon. One of the rituals of the school was the housemaster's teas. These was held by the housemaster during the course of each term, and consisted of small groups of boys who were invited, or more accurately commanded, to attend his housemaster and his wife, if he had one, in their residence for afternoon tea. The boys generally hated or even dreaded these boring gatherings, but short of a near death experience attendance could not be avoided. With the arrival of Jenny as a housemaster's wife, for the boys in Roger's house, life took on new meaning. The first couple of groups soon after Jenny's arrival attended Roger's teas with more enthusiasm than usual just to get a closer look at his new wife; word soon passed around the school that Jenny was not only good to look at, but she was lively and fun loving. This gave rise to more envy - the envy of the boys who were not in Roger's house. In the meantime, and much to Roger's surprise, when invitations were extended for tea, the boys accepted with more alacrity than he had ever witnessed before. The afternoon teas became, if not boisterous, at least more animated than Roger had experienced before, and it is surprising he never discovered why this sudden change occurred. For Jenny these teas became bright spots in an otherwise dreary social landscape. She was, after all, closer in age to many of the boys than she was to Roger. * Chapter 2.The New Boy Jenny arrived at the school at the start of the academic year with its intake of new students. At first she was hardly able to distinguish one boy from the next since there were so many of them, but in time the various personalities began to emerge and she got to know them not only by name but also by temperament and character. It was during the third term of that first year one boy began to stand out. At first it had been Roger who had drawn her attention to him. "That boy is going to be exceptional," he predicted. The boy in question was named Mark Philips, and as Roger was won't to say, "Mark will make his mark; you mark my words, ha, ha, ha." Having had her attention drawn to Mark, Jenny took particular note of him thereafter. Being one of the new intake he was only twelve at the time, but was already shaping up to be a good looking boy. His dark hair and slightly bronze complexion gave him a gipsy appearance. He showed no signs of the pimples that so often accompany youth, having a clear skin, and Jenny was most struck by his almost black brooding eyes. If anything he was quieter than his fellow students and those dark eyes seemed to follow Jenny around the room. She was both flattered and slightly embarrassed by this attention since it seemed a little more intense than the eager gazes of the other boys. She told herself that it was probably because he was missing his mother, although being only seven or eight years older than Mark she hardly seemed to qualify for the maternal role. Roger's words regarding Mark had been prophetic indeed. As he went on from year to year he became what was called, "An ornament for the school." He seemed to excel in everything he attempted, whether academic or on the sports field. Over those years Jenny watched him grow in stature as well as achievement. Although he remained one of the quieter boys he was immensely popular and, youth being what it is and having something to prove, he had a fine way of defending the smaller or younger boys from bullying by those doing the proving. Jenny had to admit to herself that she was drawn to him more than the other boys, although she tried to hide this from Roger, and to some extent from herself. On speech and prize days Mark's parents would arrive at the school. His father proved to be a Colonel in the army, a tall handsome man, and his mother a stunningly beautiful woman, and immediately Jenny could see where Mark got his dark hair and bronze complexion from. His mother looked as if she was of Middle Eastern origin, and when Jenny was introduced to her she smiled and said, "You know, when Mark comes home during the vacations he talks about you constantly, I can see why now." Jenny got the opportunity to know Mark more intimately when his father got an overseas posting for twelve months. It seemed that there were no close relatives to take Mark during the shorter vacations, and it did not seem worthwhile his going to join his parents for the limited time. Thus arrangements were made for Mark to remain in the school. This was not unusual since a few of the other boys' parents lived and worked in distant places. It did mean, however, that the housemaster was expected to take a closer personal interest in the boy. During those short vacations Mark came to spend more time with Roger and Jenny. Jenny got to ask him personal questions than she would have been able to do in the presence of the other boys during the teas. He told her about his goal of taking a medical course, but along with that she learned of his enormously wide interests in all manner of subjects. His enthusiasm for the arts and sciences fired some interest in Jenny, whose education had been cut short by her early marriage. As for that marriage, it went along in dreary fashion. Roger continued gentle and kind but as the years passed the possibility of their relationship developing into a passionate one receded and then disappeared. Jenny often wondered how Roger had even managed to take her virginity; this he had succeeded in doing only on the third night after their marriage. She often thought of divorcing him, but his very kindness and devotion to her made her feel guilty at the thought of divorce. This became even more impossible when Roger was diagnosed as having what he called, "A dicky heart." Jenny even hoped that Roger would not make any attempt to make love with her since that dicky heart might give up during the act. * Chapter 3. A Goodbye With Mark there developed an ever closer bond, and not being completely naïve Jenny realised that there was a strong sexual element in his attachment to her. During his final year Mark became school captain and this gave him even more freedom than was accorded to the other final year students. Along with this freedom, and as school captain, went a greater entrée to the housemaster and his residence. Consequently Mark had more access to Jenny. Mark was now eighteen and he had fulfilled all the promise of being a fine looking young man. Jenny, now twenty six, had ambivalent feelings about Mark's impending departure from the school. Despite their intimacy she had always managed to keep the necessary distance from Mark that was expected of a housemaster's wife. One sign of that was that Mark always addressed her as "Mrs. Brandon." This, however, had not prevented Mark from making occasional mildly flattering remarks like, "You're hair looks very nice, Mrs. Brandon," or, "You look very attractive in that dress." Jenny had accepted these comments lightly, saying things like, "You look very smart yourself, Mark." She knew she was going to miss Mark very badly when he went, but recognising as she did the growing sexual element, not only in Mark's feelings for her, but also her feelings for Mark, she saw the danger signs. Even a hint of sexual attraction between her and Mark, if known, would effect not only her, but Roger whose career at the school, or any other school, would be at an end. Then came the last day of school and on the next day the students, including Mark, would be leaving the school, Mark never to return. The prize and speech day had been over earlier in the week, and all that was left was for the students was to pack and say their goodbyes. In the course of that day Mark came over to say goodbye to Jenny. She was alone in the house as Roger was bustling around supervising packing and winding up bits and pieces of administrative details and saying his own goodbyes to the boys. "I thought I'd come over and say goodbye, Mrs. Brandon," Mark said. "I'd like to thank you for all the kindness you've shown and the wonderful talks we've had." Jenny could see that beneath these formal words there lay strong emotion and she thought she saw a hint of tears in his eyes. She felt choked with tears herself. She said, "Mark, knowing you has been one of life's lovely experiences." As soon as she had said it she wished she hadn't used those words; they seemed to reveal too much of what she was really feeling. Mark looked at her intently, then with great deliberation, like a man who has come to a momentous decision to speak out he said, "You know I love you, don't you?" Jenny was confounded. For a moment she toyed with the idea of playing the skittish games women often do in such circumstances like, "Of course you don't, you only think you do," or, "We're not going to be silly, are we?" But her own feelings for Mark were too sincere. Tomorrow he would be gone from her life and this was not the time to play pointless games. She gathered her courage and said, "I know you do, Mark, and I love you." Long deprived of sexual gratification, young and passionate, she went to Mark and pressing herself to him, kissed him softly on the lips and said, "I think we should give each other something to remember each other by." She placed her hand on his penis and could feel its firmness. She had no doubt he wanted her, so she went on, "Make love with me Mark." She took off her panties and after pulling down Mark's zip to expose his sex organ she lay back on the divan, raised her skirt and said again, "Make love with me, Mark." "I've never been with a woman," he gasped. Jenny extended her arms to him and said, "Just come over me and I'll show you how." He lay over her and she guided him into her. As he felt the warm moistness of her vaginal canal he groaned and said, "Oh God, it's so beautiful." Instinct took over and he began to move in her. Jenny lay there joyfully receiving him, holding back her orgasm until he was ready to come into her. She felt him moving faster and more strongly, she let herself go, crying, "Oh Mark my love." He gave a wild howl and she felt his sperm beating into her. They struggled and thrashed together for a minute, and then it was over. "I'll never forget you," he murmured. She smiled and replied gently, "Yes you will, darling, because you must; you'll go away and the memory of me will fade and you'll meet some nice girl, marry her and have children and that is how it should be." "No...No...," he protested, "I shall always love you." Jenny, feeling as if her heart would break said, "You must go, Mr. Brandon will be back soon." He withdrew from her and said, "We must see each other again, I can't just walk away like this, I love you." "No, Mark, I'm a married woman; I've just committed adultery and this was my farewell gift to you. Don't try and see me again or contact me, just say goodbye and go on into your life." Jenny had only just pulled on her panties when Roger walked in. He looked from Jenny to Roger for a moment, then said, "Ah, Mark, come to say goodbye." He extended his hand and shook Mark's. "All the very best for the future my boy; if you continue as you have here one day we'll being hearing a lot about you, goodbye." Mark left and Roger said, "I'll make cup of tea, my dear." Jenny fled to the bedroom and flung herself on the bed and wept. She placed her hand over her sex organ as if to hold Mark's sperm in her for just a little longer. Roger called her and she rushed to the bathroom and washed out her vagina and removed the tear stains, and then went to drink tea with Roger. * Chapter 4. Renewing Acquaintance. She sat at the reception desk of the hotel. It had been a slow day and she was nearing the end of her shift. She looked at her watch, "Ten minutes and my relief will be here." Three men entered the foyer carrying a few pieces of luggage and one came to the desk. She knew him quite well; he was a local doctor, a GP. "Jenny dear, I wonder if you could do me a favour." "If I can," she said smiling at his unusual obsequiousness. "I've got a Mr. Philips here, a vascular surgeon we called in on an emergency. There hasn't been time to book a room for him, have you got any vacancies?" Jenny had looked up sharply at the name Philips, but that had happened on a few other occasions since Philips was not an uncommon name, but the other two men were talking partially turned away from her. "Yes, I'm sure we can fit him in." He went back to the two talking men, said a few words, they shook hands and two left. The third man approached the desk. Jenny looked up and her blood seemed to run cold. Arriving at the desk the man began to take a pen from his pocket to fill in the hotel register. He glanced at her and the pen remained suspended half way to the page. "Dear God, Jenny Brandon." "Yes Mr. Philips." She tried to steady herself. "Would you fill in the register, please Mr. Philips?" She saw his hands shaking as he tried to write, and he had a pallor his dark complexion couldn't hide. "Have you been well since we last saw each other?" she asked formally. "Yes fine...Jenny... we have to talk." "What about?" "For God's sake Jenny, you know what about...why are you behaving like this...all these years...and...we have to talk, please." "Very well, I'm being relieved in a few minutes, here's your key, first floor room 18, it has its own en suite, will that suit you?" "Sod the room, where can we talk?" "When my relief comes we can go across the road and get a cup of coffee. I'll have your luggage taken up." She pressed a buzzer and a porter appeared and went off with Mark's luggage. Mark stood impatiently waiting for Jenny's shift to end. A girl came in, smiled at Jenny and asked, "Are you all right, Jenny, you look very pale?" "I'll be all right; this is Mr. Philips, he'll be back shortly." She led the way out of the hotel, across the road and into a small coffee shop. They ordered their coffee and sat. "I think you can drop the Mr. Philips now, Jenny, your not at work." "All right Mark, what would you like to talk about?" "Oh please Jenny, after all these years and you ask what we have to talk about? I tried to contact you at the school but..." "The last time we met it was to say goodbye and I told you never to try and see or contact me again." "...but you'd gone from the school. They said Old Brandy...Mr. Brandon had died and you'd left. They gave me an address and I followed it up, but you'd gone from there as well, and they didn't know where." "Why did you try and find me when I'd told you not to see me again?" "You know why, Jenny. Have you any idea how cruel that parting from you was?" "Yes, I do know, it was hard for me too, but that was the way it had to be, you knew that. You had your life in front of you, any contact with me might have messed it up. As it is you seem to have done well. 'Mr. Philips'; you know, I've often wondered why people study so hard to get the title 'Doctor', and then when they become specialists they go back to where they started and call themselves, 'Mister'." He managed a laugh and said, "An affectation. Have you remarried?" "No, and have you fulfilled my prophesy and got married and had children?" "No." "Too busy building up your career? Ah well there 's time yet." "It's not just my career, Jenny; you know why I've never married." "I'm not going to pretend I don't understand you Mark, you're saying you're still carrying a torch for me." "Yes." "A few moments, once...and all these years you've hung on to that?" "Yes." "Why, why hang on? I'm not the only woman in the world and..." "I've looked for you in other women and never found you." "Foolish Mark and a waste of time, there's only one me and it's ridiculous and unfair to look for one person in another." "Didn't you really love me at all?" "Of course I loved you Mark, you don't think I'd have invited you to copulate with me if I didn't. Look, I'm sorry, I have to go." "I must see you again Jenny, I must. Now we've met again we can't just...just..." "We can't just what, Mark?" "Walk away from each other again." "If I told you that it would be for your own good if you didn't see me again, would you believe me?" "No. I want to...I must see you again." "I'll think about it. I'm on duty tomorrow but please don't try talking to me at the desk. If you want I'll meet you after work and we can talk." She rose and left him. She was in no danger of Mark speaking to her next day since he had a serious operation to perform. In the meantime she had much to consider. * Chapter 5.Talk and a New Acquaintance He was tired after the operation but still determined to talk with Jenny again. After she came off duty they went again for coffee. Jenny had decided not to mince matters. Saint Barnabas Started It "Look Mark, I'm not sure what you want of me, but I was twenty six when we last saw each other and you were eighteen. I'm thirty eight now and how old are you, thirty...thirty one?" "Thirty one, but what has that got to do with..." "I've built a life, Mark. Roger didn't leave me very much so it been difficult, but I've managed and I don't want anything to step in now and mess it up and you don't need anything to mess up your life. You're a specialist at thirty one, that's wonderful, but you must be still at the beginning of your career. I told you years ago never to see me again and I repeated that yesterday; so say what you want and be done with it." He stayed silent for a long time, looking at her. When he spoke it was quietly and earnestly. Over the years he had often imagined what it would be like if they ever met, what was happening did not fit the pictures he had built in his mind. Jenny seemed cold and confronting and he was struggling to cope with this. He made an effort to express his feelings. "Now I've met you again, Jenny, I'd like us to see each other, get to know each other again. I know the years have brought about changes in both of us but whether you believe it or not, I've never stopped thinking of you. If you think that sounds ridiculous, then so be it, that is how it is. I don't want to mess anything up for you, just to get to know you again, and you me." "You're stopping in the hotel Mark, I've looked up your home address in the register, it's a long way from here and you'll be gone when...tomorrow...the day after? How will we see each other, how get to know each other?" "I can stay another few days; then I could come back here whenever I can." "And do what Mark, neglect your work, forget your patients?" "For God's sake Jenny, give me a chance. You don't hate me, do you, you don't dislike me?" "No Mark, I don't hate or dislike you," she laughed briefly, "and quite frankly, knowing what I do about the fees charged by medical specialists, and if I was on the make, I'd probably be trying to get my hooks into you right now, but I'm not on the make. I've told you it would be better for you if you walked away from me right now." "Unless you tell me straight out to get out of your life and stay out, I will not stay away from you. Are you going to tell me that?" "Mark, I was torn apart when you left on that last day at school. You've briefly walked across my path again and I'm not going to pretend it will be easy to part from you again, but you must know everything about me. I have to go now; if you come with me you'll know the truth." "What truth; why not just tell me." "Are you coming Mark?" She rose and said, "We can use my car; I'll bring you back to the hotel after you've seen for yourself." "For God's sake, why all the mystery, see what...why can't you...?" Jenny was moving away from him and he hastened after her. They drove away from the city centre into the suburbs and stopped at a school. They were just in time as the children were starting to come out. A girl who looked about nine or ten approached the car. She went to get into the front seat but Mark was sitting there. "Darling, this is Mr. Philips, he's a friend of mummy's from a long time ago. Mark, this is my daughter, Felicity." The blood seemed to have drained from Mark's face. His first glance at Felicity had already told him the truth that Jenny had spoken of. The complexion; the dark hair; even her eyes and face..." Felicity saying, "Hello Mr. Philips," shut the front car door and then got into the back seat. "Hello Felicity," Mark said in a strangled voice. He felt sick and there was an incipient head ache threatening. His emotions were a tangle; somewhere between anger and guilt. "Are you coming to our place?" Felicity asked, hanging over the back seat. "Well Mark," asked Jenny, "are you coming back to our place or shall I drive you to the hotel?" He turned and looked at Jenny; she was staring straight ahead with a strange and strained smile on her face. "I'll come back to your place if that's all right," he muttered. "Put your seat belt on, darling, Jenny called back to Felicity," and drove off. After about ten minutes they entered a tree lined street in one of the older suburbs, and Jenny swung the car into the drive of a small cottage. They got out and Jenny opened the front door. They walked down a short passage and into what was obviously the living room. "Sit down Mark, you don't look too well," Jenny said; then turning to Felicity she said, "Darling, you didn't clear up your room this morning, so you can do it now, and when you've finished you can take your shower; Mr. Philips and I have got to have a little talk." Felicity had been looking curiously at Mark, and clearly was about to start asking questions, but Jenny forestalled her saying, "You can talk to Mr. Philips later, darling, and I'm sure he'll want to talk to you." Felicity rather grudgingly left them." In what passed for an explosive whisper Mark burst out, "How could you...how could you...all these years...not a word...?" "Would you have wanted to know, Mark? What would you have done if you'd known? Would you have come running? Tell me what would you have done?" "Mr. Brandon did he...?" "No he died before it became obvious." "I would have done something Jenny, for God's sake I loved you, and do you think I'd have..." "No Mark, it was my responsibility. I offered myself to you and I wasn't going to come begging for charity; I managed, it was a struggle but I managed." "You didn't have to manage, I would have..." "You would have what, told your parents that you'd got the housemaster's wife pregnant and got them to make me an offer? No Mark, I gave you that farewell gift because I loved you and I wasn't going to blight your life when you were right on the threshold of it. It was a gift I gave and you don't ask payment for a gift." Jenny was very close to tears but she went on, "Beside, you gave me a greater gift than I gave you. Can't you see how lovely she is? If you want the truth you can have it. All the years with Felicity have meant I had something of you still with me." It was all too much for Mark; he was not a man given to tears, but now he was unashamedly crying. "I didn't know...I didn't know, and I've missed all those years of her growing up; and you trying to manage on your own; God I feel so ashamed." "No need to feel ashamed, Mark, it was my choice not to let you know but now you do know you can decide whether you want to do anything about her or not. I'm not putting any pressure on you; I can drive you back to the hotel and you need never see anything of either us again. You needn't have met her, but since you were so persistent about getting to know me again, I thought it better you knew the truth." "We've got to get married Jenny, then I can..." "Oh no we don't, Mark. What do you think I'm going to do when Felicity walks back in here, say, "Darling, mummy and Mr. Philips are going to get married? How do you think she'd react to that? I've kept men right out of my life for Felicity's sake. There wasn't going to be any uncles or even step-fathers, I wouldn't take that risk; but you're her real father and that makes a difference." "Well what can I do...what do you want me to do?" "It depends on how you really feel about me and whether you want to get to know Felicity and let her get to know you. Even if you do want to get to know her there's going to be no rush and no hard and fast decisions in advance." "One other thing Mark. If you do decide to enter Felicity's life and if she does get attached to you, just think about what it would do to her if you changed your mind. If you've got the slightest doubt, then let me drive you back to the hotel now. We've had a life as stable as I could make it, we don't need any upheavals now." "I'd like to stay, Jenny; I really would like to get to know Felicity and you again. I promise I'll do my level best not to disrupt your lives; she's a daughter I didn't know I had; I have no other children, let me be part of the one I've got." "All right Mark, but I must warn you, she's shrewd; I think she's inherited your brains and she'll probably work things out eventually. When she does there's going to be an awful lot of explaining to do. You must understand that a man in her life, a man visiting us here, will be something entirely new for her." "Do you mean there hasn't been a single man since we...?" "No there hasn't been, Mark, and that's not because I wouldn't have liked one, but I've seen enough of 'Uncles' and 'Stepfathers' not to take any risk for Felicity's sake; do you understand?" "Yes, of course I do. If we're going it do this thing we'll do it the right way." "Another thing for you to think about Mark; I'm older than you and..." "You've always been older than me and it hasn't stopped me loving you." "Felicity will be in here in a minute so we'd better stop now, so wipe your eyes and blow your nose, we don't want her to think you've been crying. I'll get some food ready." At that moment Felicity walked in and Jenny said, "Just going to get dinner ready darling, you talk to Mr. Philips." Felicity stood looking at Mark for a few moments, and then asked, "How long ago did you know mummy I don't think she's ever mentioned your name?" "Oh, about eight or nine years ago." "Where was it?" "At a school." "Are you a teacher?" "No, I'm what's called a vascular surgeon." "You cut people up?" He laughed and said, "I try not to if I can make them better without cutting them up." "If you're surgeon you must be a doctor." "That's right." "Mummy says my daddy is a doctor." Mark did not respond to that statement. "I've never seen my daddy." "Haven't you?" "No, I've asked mummy why he doesn't live with us but she never really tells me." She paused for a moment, and then asked, "Did you ever know my daddy?" "Er...yes...I...er think so." "Was it at the school where you knew mummy?" "Yes." "What was he like, did he look like me?" "Yes, very like you." "That's what mummy says. Was he nice?" "I don't know, I don't think I knew him very well." Felicity seemed to lose interest in the subject and asked, "Are you staying to eat dinner with us?" "I believe so." "It's funny, but you'll be the only man who has ever had dinner with us." "Will I?" "Yes; I don't think mummy likes men." "Oh?" Felicity thought for a moment; "She must have liked daddy and I suppose she must like you if she's asked you to stay for dinner." "Well, perhaps she likes me a little bit." "Do you like mummy?" "Yes, as you're mother told you we're old friends." "Then why haven't you had dinner with us before?" "Ah, well, you see, I live a long way from here and I'm stopping in the hotel where you're mother works; that's where we met." "Are you glad you met mummy again?" "Yes, of course." Jenny put her head round the door and said, "It's ready, only a cold meal I'm afraid, I put it together in a hurry." "Jenny to the rescue," thought Mark," "I don't think I could have coped with much more of that." It wasn't a very good rescue because Felicity began again while they ate. "Mummy, Mr. Philips said he knew daddy." "Did he?" "Yes, he said I look very like him." "I've always told you that." "Yes, and you told me daddy is a doctor; Mr. Philips is a doctor, isn't that funny?" "Well, I never actually told you your daddy was a doctor; I said I thought he became a doctor." "I wonder if he did, do you know if he became a doctor." She turned to Mark and asked, "Do you know if he became a doctor." "I...er...yes...I think he did." A pink faced Jenny said, "Felicity, stop talking and eat your food." A silence ensued with Mark and Jenny exchanging agonised glances. The silence didn't last for long. "Do you play chess Mr. Philips?" The question took Mark by surprise, "Chess?" he queried. "Yes, do you play?" Jenny laughed and said, careful how you answer Mark, she's a demon chess player. Mark, somewhat relieved by the change in the direction of the conversation said, "Yes, I play occasionally." "Would you play with me after dinner?" Jenny intervened, "Darling, Mr. Philips may not want to play." "No, that's all right, Jenny, I'll play a game." He glanced at Jenny who gave a brief nod. "Your name is Mark," said Felicity, not as a question but a statement. "Yes." "That's a nice name." Jenny intervened saying, "If you've finished eating Felicity you can go and get the chess set out while Mr. Philips and I clear up." * Chapter 6. Chess and a Day Out Felicity disappeared in the direction of the living room and Mark and Jenny breathed sighs of relief. "My God, I don't know the plans she might have for her future, but she'd make a good police interrogator or barrister; she had me cornered a few times." "I did try to warn you Mark; actually she says she wants to be a doctor, would you believe." "It must run in the family." "I think it's her way of identifying with her unknown father." "Why did you tell her I was a doctor, you couldn't have known?" "Well, you always said that was what you wanted to do and she began to ask questions when she got to about five or six, I had to tell her something." They set about clearing up and Felicity came back to announce that she'd set up the board. "You go and play, Mark, I'll finish up here." He followed Felicity into the lounge and ended up playing with the white pieces. The game lasted less than an hour and Mark lost. "Will you play another game?" asked Felicity. "No darling, we've got to take Mr. Philips back to the hotel and then it will be time for bed." "Can we play another time?" "I don't know it depends on your mummy." "Can Mr. Philips play with me again, mummy?" "I'll have to talk about it with him, dear." "Can't we talk about it now?" "No darling, I promise I'll talk about it with Mr. Philips tomorrow." She turned to Mark and said, "I have a half an hour lunch break starting at twelve thirty, Mark, if you available." "I've got to see my patient in the morning, but twelve thirty will be okay." On the drive to the hotel Felicity continued her pressure for Mark to return for another game, and it took some rather skilful verbal footwork to avoid giving a definite answer, especially when she said, "Adults are funny, they make such a fuss about things when they only have to say 'yes' or 'no'." Mark and Jenny saw that an extended philosophical debate might arise out of that statement, so wisely said nothing. Felicity's last words to Mark as they left him at the hotel were, "You will come and play again, won't you?" "We'll see," he called back, as he escaped into the hotel foyer. Neither Mark nor Jenny slept well that night, but Felicity slumbered peacefully, dreaming of games of chess in which she always won, except when she let Mr. Philips win. Mark met Jenny in the hotel foyer at twelve thirty and they went to a nearby café for a light lunch. "Well?" asked Jenny, somewhat disconcertingly. "Well what?" "What do you think?" "Of Felicity?" "Of course, don't be so evasive Mark." "She seems very intelligent." "Yes, is that all?" "She's a lovely looking child." "Yes, but the point is do you want to see more of her?" "Of course I do." "There's no 'of course' about it Mark. Would you like to have dinner with us again tonight? "If you want me to." "For God's sake, don't be so obtuse, Mark, I've just invited you haven't I? "It's just that I don't want to foist myself on you." "You're not foisting yourself on us, Mark. Why don't you follow Felicity's suggestion and just say 'yes' or 'no', or are you having second thoughts? "My point is Jenny, you're really asking me to come and be with Felicity again, do you want me to be with you?" "For a man of your intelligence you're rather insecure, aren't you?" "Where you're concerned , yes, I am. You know very well I could get very fond of Felicity, but what would be the use if in the end you decide you don't want me around; I'd be like those wretched father's you see at weekends with the children they've got for the day and don't know what to do with them. There are only so many times you can go to the zoo." "And Felicity might get very fond of you if you're around enough. It's a chance we all have to take. Are you coming tonight or not? "Yes." "Thank God for that. Do you want me to drive you again?" "Yes, thank you." "Mark, you're being excessively polite." "Well, you were excessively polite with me when we first met the other day." "I must get back to work." Mark spent an unsettling afternoon. He was trying to understand Jenny's behaviour towards him. It seemed to vary between a cool politeness and gentle warmth. His own behaviour also puzzled him. It appeared to follow hers, also ranging between an ardent desire to express the love he had kept in heart for her all those years, and a slight remoteness. He remembered that last time he saw her at school and their brief sexual encounter. There had been a few women since then, naked women with whom he had been able to have long sessions of foreplay, but oddly those few moments still fully clothed with Jenny stood out as the supreme sexual encounter. He remembered the wonder of entering a woman for the first time, experiencing the soft, moist warmth of her vagina, and the relaxation of sexual tension after he had ejaculated into her. Nothing had surpassed that for all that it might be considered a less than adequate way of being with a woman for the first time. It had been that moment with Jenny that had haunted his thoughts and dreams ever since. "Was it always the case with the first ever coupling with a woman?" he wondered, "Or was it something else, some dimension that had not been present with the others." "Perhaps if he could have Jenny properly; kiss her; enjoy her breasts and experience her female fragrance and the taste of her lubricant, as he had with other women, it would all become as commonplace as it had with those others and Jenny would become no more than a vagina to empty him self into. Yet in that brief encounter his seed had fertilised her and this strangely interrogative and beautiful child had resulted. He had been complimented many times on his looks but had never seen himself as especially good looking, but from the first moment of meeting Felicity he had seen what his particular colouring could bring forth. She was a lovely child but he wondered if he wanted to take a chance on loving her. That sort of love was not like the infatuation that we call, "Being in love;" the infatuation that could die with the first dawn awakening to find the sexual partner of the night before lying beside you and no longer desirable. To love Felicity was a decision not to be based on some momentary emotion. Such a love would carry with it the responsibility for the beloved one, a responsibility that would last a lifetime, or at least until Felicity was of an age to bear the responsibility for her own life, and even then love would not cease. As he had realised, Jenny and Felicity came, to put it in commercial terms, as a package deal. Jenny's somewhat ambiguous statements about any future he might have with her made him wonder if he might end up with the pain of another loss in the end. For a moment his sense of humour took over, "If I were to become a proper father to Felicity it would mean getting endlessly beaten at chess, the way she plays." He could stretch his stay to another couple of days, but after that he had to return to his practice far away. A few more hours with Jenny and Felicity, and what then? He hoped that some supreme power had meant him to meet Jenny again and learn he had a daughter. If that was so that power must also surely see to it that they could find ways to be together. Saint Barnabas Started It He chuckled at his superstition and thought, "No, we must make out own way and make our own decisions." The procedure was the same as before. They picked Felicity up from school and she seemed excited to see Mark. "You'll play another game of chess with me, won't you?" "And get beaten again," he laughed. "You should complain," Jenny said, "I haven't won a game with her since she was eight. You know," she went on, "she's just like someone I knew a long time ago; he always succeeded in everything he did." "Who was that, mummy?" asked Felicity. "Oh, just someone I knew once." Mark could not miss the implication and muttered, "He didn't succeed in everything." Jenny heard his softly spoken words and said, "Sometimes success doesn't happen immediately, we have to wait for the final outcome." They drove on in silence, and even Felicity didn't press them with any more questions. This time they began their game of chess soon after arriving at the cottage while Jenny prepared a more elaborate meal. They got through one and a half games before they sat down to eat, and, of course Felicity won the first game and looked set to win the second. While they ate Mark asked, "Where did you learn to play chess like that?" "One of my teachers." "He's a chess black belt or a grandmaster or whatever they call them," said Jenny. "He thinks that chess helps to teach the children to concentrate and think. A few of them play during lunch recess." After the meal all three of them helped to clear up and then Mark and Felicity returned to their game. As expected Mark lost. Felicity was ready to play another game but Jenny intervened saying, "I think Mr. Philips has had enough, darling; now go and have your shower and you can put your night things on." "If I put my night things on I won't be able to come with you when you take Mr. Philips back to the hotel." "Of course you will, nobody will see you in the car, and even if they did they wouldn't take any notice of a little girl in pyjamas." "If I wasn't a little girl and they saw me in my pyjamas, would they take notice of me then?" "Of course they would." "Why?" "Well, you'd be...it wouldn't be...oh do go and shower Felicity." No doubt wondering at the oddness of adults she went off as instructed. Jenny smiled at Mark and said, "You see what I have to cope with!" "Yes, she doesn't let us get away with much, does she." Changing the subject Jenny said, "Tomorrow is Saturday, will you still be here?" "Yes, I'll be here until Monday." "I only work on weekdays so I wondered if you'd like to come out with Felicity and me for the day." "Very much, where?" "If it's a fine day I thought the beach would be nice; but if not there's a performance in the afternoon of an adaptation of Wilde's 'The Happy Prince', I know Felicity would love to see it, we could go there." "Couldn't we do both; go to the beach in the morning and the performance in the afternoon, and then we could go to a restaurant for dinner afterwards." He gave a chuckle and said, "I'll have to buy a pair of bathing briefs, I didn't expect to be going to the beach." "Are you sure you want to spend all day with us?" "There's so little time, Jenny. I'll get out early and buy the briefs and what about theatre tickets, do you think they might be booked out?" "I'll telephone and find out now." Jenny came back after a few minutes and said, "It's okay as long as we pick up and pay for the tickets tomorrow morning; we can do that on the way to the beach." "What about the restaurant, I don't know anything about them here; which would you recommend?" "Well, we don't often go to restaurants we can't...well, would you believe it, Jenny does like Indian food and there's a place near here called 'The Rang Mahal', we could go there." "Fine, I'll ring and book a table now; what's the number?" "I don't know, we've never been there, but it'll be in the book." "Seven o'clock do you think?" "Yes, the afternoon performance will be well over by then." Mark went off to make the booking. As he pressed in the number there beat in his head, "All day tomorrow...all day tomorrow I'll be with them." Having succeeded in making the booking he returned to the living room to see Felicity standing there in white pyjamas. "I thought girls were supposed to wear pink," he teased. "Mummy says white makes me look prettier because of my hair and skin. You should see mummy in her nightdress, it's black and lacy and she looks ever so pretty." "Felicity," exploded a red faced Jenny, "you mustn't say things like that to people." "Why not, it's true? Don't you think mummy would look lovely in black night things Mr. Philips?" "Felicity," said Jenny in a waring tone of voice." Mark smiled at her and said, "I think your mummy would look lovely in anything." "I'll make a cup of tea," said Jenny, and she rushed from the room. Because of this exchange Felicity had not been told about the plans for following day. Mark undertook to tell her. Felicity seemed to hop from one foot to the other with excitement but when he told her about the Rang Mahal she became very serious and asked, "Are you very rich?" Mark was somewhat startled by this question, but answered, "I'm not exactly rich, but I'm not poor either, why do you ask?" "Mummy says that only people with lots of money go to the Rang Mahal. We'd like to go there but mummy says we can't afford to so she makes Indian food here sometimes; but we are going...we are going..." "Going where, darling,?" asked a recovered Jenny as she entered carrying the tea things. "To the Rang Mahal." Mark felt sick with shame. Going to even the most expensive restaurants was something he did without giving it a second thought, yet Jenny and her daughter – their daughter - could not even afford it as an occasional treat. He sat in silence as they drank their tea. He hadn't realised just how special this day might be for these two. Jenny, who having overcome her embarrassment about the black nightdress, seemed to be almost as euphoric about the next day as Felicity. She began to relate the little details of how they would pick up the theatre tickets, which beach they would go to, what they might be able to order at the Rang Mahal. "Dear God," Mark thought, "I've always taken so much for granted. All my life things have been made easy for me – except one thing – and these two are ecstatic over what I take as the given." Jenny noticed his introspective mood and asked, "Are you all right Mark, would you rather we didn't go..." "No, of course not, I'm looking forward to being with you both for the day; I was just thinking." Felicity, in the way children have, cut through the solemn atmosphere. "We've never been out with a man before, have we mummy?" "No darling." Jenny began to pick up the tea things, and she made her way out to the kitchen with them, Felicity following her. When she returned Felicity, the previously exuberant and forthright child, was half hiding behind Jenny. "Felicity wants to ask you something but she's too shy, so she wants me to ask for her." Mark had not noticed any sign of shyness in Felicity up until then, but he asked, "What is it?" "She wants to know if she can thank you properly for being so kind to her and playing games of chess, and for being with us tomorrow." "Yes, you didn't need to ask." Felicity came to him and putting her arms round him placed a smacking kiss on his cheek. "Thank you Mr. Philips." For a moment Mark wanted to hug her to him, but he had his own brand of shyness, and the moment passed. "Now, we have to take Mr. Philips back to the hotel, so go and put on your dressing gown." They drove to the hotel in silence. There seemed to hang about them a shadow of thought. Mark bade them goodnight adding, "I'll see you at ten tomorrow morning." He watched the car drive away through the evening traffic and he felt as if his heart went with them. He was up early the next morning and was waiting outside one of the city department stores as it opened to buy his swimming briefs. Jenny arrived promptly at ten and they went to confirm their booking at the theatre, and then headed out from the city to one of the beaches. They had all put their swimming gear on under their ordinary clothes. If Mark had hoped that at last Jenny would be revealed in a sexy bikini, he was doomed to disappointment. She wore a one piece that looked somewhat out of date, and was showing signs of its age. Felicity on the contrary, while not wearing a bikini since she still had little to put into such a garment, was clad in what was clearly a new white one piece. He could see what Jenny had meant by white enhancing her complexion. The contrast with the white seemed to make her skin glow. There were lots of other women on the beach, mostly dressed to arouse fantasies in the watching males, yet in spite of the absence of overt sexuality in her gear, he noticed that Jenny did draw male eyes. What could be seen of her body was in sharp contrast to her daughter, her skin having a creamy look about it, and even her modest garment could not hide the full swell of her breasts. Poor Mark; while trying to cope with the effect Jenny was having on him, was angry and jealous about the effect that she was having on the men around her. Felicity solved his more pressing emotional problems by prevailing on him to go and swim with her. Swimming for Felicity had less to do with linear motion though the water and more to do with climbing on Mark's shoulders to leap up in a sort of flurrying dive. She confided in Mark, "I can't do this with mummy any more, she says I'm too heavy for her. I wish you could always come to the beach with us, and then I could always dive off you." For all that Mark was feeling somewhat wearied by her constant leaping, he too wished he could always be there with her. Swimming had always been for exercise; with Felicity it was fun even if tiring. After a couple of hours they left the beach and first went to the hotel where Mark changed into a suit. He was not well provided for since he had not anticipated such a long stay. Then it was back to the cottage for "The girls" as he was beginning to think of them as, to change. This time it was a white dress with red trimming for Felicity and dark green pant suit for Jenny. They ate some lunch and then they were off to the theatre. After the show Mark at first was not sure that it had been a success. Felicity was sobbing and Jenny looked a bit tearful. "Oh the poor prince and the little sparrow," wept Felicity. "Perhaps we should have gone somewhere else," Mark whispered to Jenny. "Why?" "Well, it's made Felicity very unhappy." "Don't be silly Mark, she loved it." She turned to Felicity and asked, "What did you think of it, darling." "Ooooh," wailed Felicity, "It was beautiful." "You see Mark; you've got a lot to learn about females." "I suppose I have," thought Mark, as they walked back to the car with the still sobbing Felicity. Jenny tried to console Felicity saying, "Darling, they both went to heaven." "Yes but...ooooh, it was so sad." When they got into the car Jenny said, "Talking of heaven, Mark, Felicity and I go to church on Sunday mornings, would you like to come with us tomorrow?" "I...er...well...you see, I don't...er..." "The school chaplain's theology didn't go down well with you, did it," she laughed. "No, it didn't; I mean, all those dreary sessions in the chapel with him going on and on about nothing." "It's all right; I just thought you might like to be with Felicity and me." That pulled Mark up short; a bit more time with mother and daughter. "Well, I could come with you," he grinned, "it might do me some good." He didn't say what sort of good he had in mind. "I'll pick you up about nine thirty then." The evening at Rang Mahal went off extremely successfully, except that Mark ordered a curry that was hotter than he expected and it was his turn to have tears streaming down his cheeks. Their day nicely rounded off Mark was driven straight back to the hotel from the restaurant. He got another smacking kiss from Felicity and thanks for a lovely day from Jenny. Mark slept very well that night. * Chapter 7. Mummy and Daddy Talk Jenny picked him up at nine thirty and she was alone. "Where's Felicity, she's all right, isn't she," he asked uneasily. "Oh dear, we're suffering from anxious daddy syndrome are we?" laughed Jenny. "She's fine; I've left her with a neighbour." "Jenny, would it be possible to have an hour or two alone with you, I've got some things I want to discuss with you." "You do mean discuss, don't you?" "Yes, just talk." "I'll see if I can get the neighbour to look have Felicity after lunch." Mark found the service somewhat off-putting because he'd forgotten the ritual. People seemed to stand up and sit down at unexpected moments; the hymns didn't seem to be the same ones he had sung in the school chapel and he wasn't sure how much to put in the offering plate. He wondered if the preacher had been forewarned of his coming because the sermon seemed to be aimed at him; its subject being "Love." He was told that love was patent, kind, not jealous, boastful, arrogant or rude; it didn't insist on its own way and it doesn't end. He tried to work out how this accorded with the world as he knew it, and he had difficulty with this. After the service they had lunch and Felicity left to be looked after by a neighbour. Settling down in the living room they sat quietly for a few moments, the Jenny said, "You wanted to talk to me?" "Yes, there are a couple of things I think we must settle." "Yes?" "My future access to Felicity." "You want future access, do you?" "Of course I do, but, you see my time can be rather erratic, so I wondered if it would be all right if I called you to tell you when I was coming; I'll give you all the advance notice I can; and perhaps you could book a room in the hotel for me." "That won't be a problem." "If you could, perhaps you might book up for anything that you think she might like to go and see, you know, like the show yesterday." "I can do that." "The other thing is, I'd like to make some provision for your...her upkeep." "I told you before, Mark, I don't want any charity." "No...no...of course not, but my responsibility, I..." "We've managed well enough so far and..." "All right Jenny, I can leave it up to you. I'll make regular payments into an account in your name, you can draw on it if you want to, and if not, well..." "I take it you like her." "Of course I bloody well like her, she's my daughter isn't she?" "Our daughter, Mark, and by the way, should you ever doubt your paternity we could always have..." "Oh, don't be so silly Jenny; I only have to look at her." "Yes, her looks and complexion are a bit of a give away, aren't they. Thank you for the offer of financial help; I won't pretend it wouldn't be nice to have something extra for Felicity, so..." "It's for you as well." "A bit generous for a one off sex session, isn't it?" "That was uncalled for Jenny; nothing was further from my mind; why are you behaving like this?" "Like what?" "Cool, remote. We had a lovely day together yesterday, we were happy together, weren't we? So why the aloofness today?" "Because I don't want you to feel under any obligation to us; we've had a lovely time but tomorrow morning you'll be gone. When you get back to where you came from you might start feeling differently, people do you know. It was good while it lasted, but..." She shrugged her shoulders; "Felicity has obviously taken to you; at this stage if she never saw you again you would become a happy memory – the nice man who took us out for the day and had dinner with us – push it much farther and who knows." "And you?" "What?" "Can you forget quickly?" "I may not be able to forget, but I can let go, as you should know." "I want to ask you Jenny – look, I haven't been able to read you properly ever since we met the other day, one minute you're warm and friendly and the next you're cool and remote – I want to ask you, do you want me to keep in touch...to visit." "Yes, of course I do, Felicity would..." "No...no, not Felicity; do you want me to come back...you...for your sake?" Jenny paused, looking at him before she answered as if making up her mind what to say. "All right Mark, I didn't want to say this to you, but it seems I have to. I would like you to come here to see me as well as Felicity, but...but I don't want to go through the pain I felt when we had to part all those years ago; once in a lifetime is enough." "I promise you I won't..." "No promises, Mark, let's just see how it works out, shall we?" "All right Jenny, let's do that." When Felicity returned Mark was prevailed upon to play another game of chess. When they had driven back to the hotel he received a long hug from Felicity. "You'll be at work before I leave in the morning?" he asked Jenny. "Yes." "We'll say our goodbyes then." * Chapter 8. Interregnum Mark's flight left at eleven o'clock, so he was up and out early the next morning, doing some shopping. At ten o'clock his luggage was in the hotel foyer and a taxi had been booked. Mark came to the desk carrying two parcels. There was no opportunity for any emotional demonstrations; Mark placed the parcels on the desk saying, "For you and Felicity...a sort of thank you for a lovely few days. I'll be in touch soon." He gave her his card, then the taxi arrived and he was gone. Jenny would have cried if she hadn't been at work. She opened the parcels; one contained a beautiful hand carved chess set, the other a bikini marked, "To be exchanged if it doesn't fit." A week passed and a message arrived from a bank announcing the opening of an account in her name and would she come in to register her signature. When she went in to the bank she was staggered to learn that a regular payment that amounted to nearly as much as she earned at the hotel was to be made regularly. Another week passed and there were regular evening telephone calls from Mark. These were concerned with the welfare of Felicity and herself, but he was unable to get away to see them. Jenny gave Mark her thanks for the financial allowance and had made her, and for what she called, "The naughty bikini." Felicity yelled her pleasure into the phone, thanking him for the chess set which she announced she would never use. "Never use?" asked a puzzled Mark. "It's too beautiful," she said, "I've got in on my dressing table, you'll see." Then in the middle of the third week he said he could join them for the following weekend and would arrive at the airport at 10-15 p.m. "We'll come and pick you up at the airport," Jenny said. "No, don't do that," he protested, "it will be past Felicity's bed time; I'll get a taxi." "Oh dear, anxious daddy again, it's Saturday the next day, she can sleep in if she wants to." He laughed, "All right, I don't want to be the heavy father. You'll book me a room at the hotel?" "Of course; see you at ten fifteen Friday." "Fine." * Chapter 8. A Little Girl Knows. Felicity was doing her hopping from one foot to the next as they waited for Mark to come into reception. When he came through the barrier she leapt on him, delivering her smacking kisses. Jenny was more restrained in her greeting, giving him a peck on the cheek saying, "You're a naughty man." "Why?" "The bikini, I'll never be able to wear it." "Why not?" "It's too young for me; at my age..." He laughed and said, "With your figure you'd look good in it at ninety." Saint Barnabas Started It "That's blatant flattery, Mark; and the money you've been..." "I don't think we should discuss this in front of Felicity," he whispered. "No, of course not daddy," she replied jokingly, "I'll nag you later." They had some difficulty leaving the airport car park because Jenny's car took some time to start. "Damn thing needs a good servicing," she said irritably. "Yes," said Mark doubtfully, glancing at how many kilometres it had done. They dropped Mark at the hotel and after goodnights and "See you in the morning," Jenny drove off." They had arranged for him to be picked up at ten o'clock, and on the way to the cottage he was told of the plans for the day. "There's a film Felicity would like to see, would you be happy with that?" "Certainly. When is it?" "It starts at one thirty." "Shall we go out to dinner tonight?" "That would be lovely; where?" "Rang Mahal...Rang Mahal..." sang Felicity. "All right with you, Jenny?" "Yes, but be careful what you order this time, we don't want you weeping again." On arriving at the cottage an inspection of the chess set in Felicity's bedroom was carried out, then a call to the Rang Mahal booked their table, and since there was plenty of time before they were due to go out gain, the almost inevitable chess game, with the old set of course, took place. They were sitting staring at the board as chess players are inclined to do when Felicity, without looking up, said, "I know who you really are." Amused Mark simply said, "Oh?" Still without looking up she went on, "You're my daddy aren't you?" Mark sat still, stunned for a few moments, then asked in a shaky voice, "How do you know that?" Felicity looked up at him and smiled saying, "Oh, I knew the first time I saw you." "How?" gasped Mark. Felicity touched her face and then reached over and placed her fingers on his cheek; "Because of this. Older people think because you're only nine you don't know things, but I knew because your skin is like mine, and your face. And I knew because I don't think mummy would have let you come here and be with us, and because you've been so nice to us. You are, aren't you?" "I...I...yes, I am." "You are what?" asked Jenny who had just come into the room. "She...she..." "I've just told daddy that I know he's my daddy and I think he's surprised." Jenny stood still, her face turning pale. "She's got it all worked out," said Mark, "so I've told her 'yes'." Jenny dropped down in an armchair staring at Felicity and Mark helplessly. "I can call him daddy, can't I mummy?" "Er...yes darling, if Mister...er...yes, if that's all right with you Mark?" "Yes...yes." Looking steadily at Mark, Felicity asked, "Why don't you live here with us, daddy." "Well you see I...er...I work a long way off..." "Then why aren't mummy and I living with you?" "Well ...I think we...I mean...we might tell ..." "I know you might tell me one day! Mummy says things like that. When will it be one day?" Felicity stopped speaking and continued staring from Mark to Jenny, then addressing Mark she asked, "Don't you love us?" "Yes, of course I do, I love both of you very much." "Then why aren't you married to us?" "Well it was all a long time ago and we lost each other and we only found each other again recently and then I met you and..." "And we can get married now?" "I don't...you see...your mother...if she...er..." Jenny who seemed to have recovered her equilibrium and even seemed a trifle amused, said, "Darling, there are ways of doing these things, you have to be asked if you want..." "Well I just asked him, didn't I?" "No, I mean Mr. Philips is...er, daddy, has to ask me if I want to marry him." "But why can't I ask daddy, I mean, he'd be living with me as well and..." A knowing look came over Felicity's face; "I know why daddy has to ask you; I've heard the older girls at school talking about it." A thoughtful look came over her face, "You would have to buy a bigger bed of course, unless daddy's got a bigger bed, have you daddy?" "Now that's enough," gasped a red faced Jenny. Felicity's voice fell to a resentful mutter, "If he's got to ask you he ought to ask me as well." "I said that's enough, Felicity. Now it's lunch time and no more talk about marriage." Felicity went towards the dining room still mumbling, "I don't think its fair." Lunch was eaten in an awkward silence and when it was over Jenny dropped her car keys in Mark's lap and said, "Here, you'll need these." He looked up at her somewhat dismayed. "Aren't you coming with us?" "No, I thought you two ought to have an afternoon together without me." Visions of more interrogations by Felicity and perhaps even another proposal of marriage rose up before him, and with no Jenny there to take some of the load? "Woe is me," he thought, but decided to face the inevitable. It didn't take long before, in the absence of her mother, Felicity took up her theme. "Daddy, are you going to ask mummy to marry you?" "Yes." "That's because you love her, isn't it?" "Yes." "Do you love me?" "Yes." "Then it's only fair that you should ask me to marry you as well, isn't it?" "Well you see, it's different, your mummy and me..." "It's all right; I know about the difference, I heard the older girls talking about that as well. But if you ask mummy to marry you and she says yes, then you should ask me as well because we'll all live together, won't we?" "Of course we will." "Will you ask me first...this afternoon?" "But suppose when I ask your mother she says no?" "Oh, she won't do that." "How do you know that?" "Well, after you went away she kept talking about you; she kept asking me if I liked you and would I like to see you again; and she got very grumpy when you were away and when you said you were coming to visit she was very happy. Anyway, I'm sure she loves you and I'll tell her she has to say yes if you ask her because I love you." It was just as well they had arrived at the cinema because Mark would have been a serious hazard on the road with his eyes filling with tears. Mark didn't see much of the film his mind had became so engrossed with Felicity, who throughout the screening hung of to him as if she was frightened he would disappear. When they arrived back at the cottage Mark went to get out of the car, but Felicity stopped him. "I saw a film once were a man asked a lady to marry him sitting in a car; it was so romantic. I think you should ask me now, you can ask mummy later." Mark gave up and not sure whether to laugh or not he asked, "Felicity, it would make me the happiest man in the world if you would marry me; will you?" "Oh, you said that beautifully daddy, yes, I'll marry you." She leapt from the car calling back, "I'll go and tell mummy we're going to be married." Mark yelled after her, "No Felicity don't do..." It was too late; she had gone into the cottage. He found Jenny pulling some clothes out of the washing machine with Felicity doing her excited foot hopping again. "It's only fair," she chortled, "we were on our own, so I'll go next door for half an hour." She raced off and left Jenny and Mark staring helplessly at each other. Mark broke the silence; "I...she..." "Yes, I know, she told me." "Er...Jenny, It would..." he almost went into the same proposal routine he had use with Felicity, but decided it might not fit this occasion. "Jenny, can we get married?" Jenny, about to stuff some clothing into the machine, smiled and said, "Well, it's not really a romantic setting for a proposal, but since Felicity has already said 'yes', I suppose I'd better go along with it." "Can I take that to be 'yes'?" "You can Mark." Jenny seemed to sag wearily and Mark went to her and put his arms around her. He tilted up her face with his fingers and said, "Thank you, my love," and kissed her very gently. Jenny seemed to collapse against him and began to cry; "Oh God, Mark, it's been so hard...so very hard all these years." "Not any more, my love."