40 comments/ 71663 views/ 31 favorites A Full Circle By: Enamored My name is Sean Patrick O'Conner, at least that is the name my parents gave me. Back when I was in junior high, I got confused about a question the teacher asked in class, and answered with something that had no connection to the question. One of my so-called buddies hollered out, "Don't pay any attention to him, Miss Trotter, he's just a dumb Mick." He got sent to the principal for that one, but the name stuck, and nowadays, everybody calls me Mick. I joined the service after high school, and by the time I was 22 I was married to a wonderful woman by the name of Lynne. A couple of years went by, but by the time I was 26, we had a little boy by the name of Sean Junior. Lynne was busy with the baby, but she made sure that she could arrange things so she could finish her degree. I had started taking classes at night, getting as many courses out of the way as I could before my hitch was up. Just before I got out of the service, Lynne graduated from college with a degree in business administration. Lynne went to work, and I started college working as hard as I could to get my degree, taking 18 and sometimes 20 credits a semester toward my degree in computer science. I finally graduated, and started looking for a job. Nada, zip, nothing doing. Even though I had experience working with computers in the service, and had my degree, there just wasn't anything available for me, without us having to move to another state. Lynne had a good job, and Sean was happy with his friends, so I started trying to think out of the box. A friend of Lynne's, her running partner Erin, suggested that I might try the county sheriff's office. I had experience with military intelligence, and Erin knew that they were thinking of setting up an Internet crimes division, but so far didn't have anyone that really knew all that much about computers or the Internet, so it really hadn't gotten off the ground. In fact, as I found out later, it wasn't anything more than an idea in the Sheriff's mind. (I should mention here that Erin was a deputy sheriff, working on the sexual assault team, and had been for several years.) I applied, was accepted, went through peace officer training, and before long was the sole deputy assigned to Internet crimes, which included, of course, child pornography, identity theft and so on. Another three or four years went by, and lo and behold I was promoted to sergeant and put in charge of the unit. It really made a lot of sense, as I was still the only deputy that had anywhere near my background with computers, although I now had at least five deputies reporting to me. I was the only sergeant with as few years in the department, which caused a bit of unhappiness among some of the deputies, but that went away after a few months, and things were going well. In the meantime, Erin had been promoted to sergeant also, only she was running one of the sexual assault teams, one that dealt primarily with child abuse and so on. I should also mention that Erin was really into martial arts, held at least two different black belts, and in fact taught our unarmed combat classes for the sheriff's department. Erin and my wife were about the same size, rather petite, with Erin just at the minimum for her to be able to get in the department at all. It was kind of a joke around the office. Erin would arrive on the scene to arrest some jerk, and he would think that he didn't have any worries; he would just take out the little woman. When he found himself curled up on the floor and hurting in more places than he had thought possible, he couldn't believe it. If something looked like it might get physical, Erin was often called on, because she could take care of things, usually without pulling a gun. Lynne was doing extremely well at her work, so well in fact that the company had strongly suggested that she get her MBA, which they would pay for. It was a bit rough for both of us, she was working full time, going to school at night, but when she finally graduated from Wharton's School of Business, she got an immediate promotion, and was making far more money than I was. She was also told that she had been selected for the fast track and that she could expect more promotions in the future if she kept on performing like she was. Erin and I quite often worked together, primarily because child abuse and child pornography were rather closely linked at times. As a result, we became rather close friends. Lynne and I had Erin and her husband, Scott, over for dinner and drinks fairly often, and they reciprocated. I really didn't care for Scott, and never quite understood what Erin saw in him. He was one of those guys that works out in the gym several times a week, and liked to show off his strength, squeezing your hand as hard as he could when you shook hands, and so on. He also thought he was God's gift to women, and Erin had told me on one or two occasions that she caught him screwing around on her. He was handsome, with chiseled features, but it all, at least to me, didn't hide his basic flaws. Unfortunately, he also worked at the same company that Lynne did, in sales, although they didn't really work together all that much. When Sean was about eight, we sent him to his grandparents to spend the summer. They had a home out in the country where he could run wild, ride horses, and basically get a good summer camp, without the horrible expense of one. Erin and Scott's daughter, Samantha (who was almost exactly the same age as Sean), didn't have the same opportunity, but she did get to go to a two-week summer camp, up in the mountains. I thought it was a little unusual for an eight-year-old girl to be going to camp, but Erin explained that Sam was going to a camp for girls that taught art, and that Sam had been wild to go. Right after the kids left for camp, Erin and I were told we needed to go to an out of town conference about three or four hours from where we lived, dealing with pornography and the Internet. Scott's car was in the shop because he had been in a fender-bender a couple of days before, so I took Erin in my car. The conference was to last three days, ending on a Friday night with a big dinner for all the attendees. Friday at lunchtime, I got a call on my cell phone from Lynne, who was absolutely excited, and when I answered, she immediately launched into an explanation. "We just signed the contract we have been working on for months. This puts us over on our numbers for the quarter, and it is big enough that we have already met our numbers for the year. We have just guaranteed our bonuses for the year. The company is putting on a party tonight at Johnny's, with dinner and dancing for everybody involved." I congratulated her, and told her to have one for me. "I just wanted you to know that I probably won't be home until late tonight, this is a major celebration, and I would really like to enjoy it." "Go for it, just remember to get a cab if you have had too much to drink, we can always go get your car tomorrow." She assured me she would and asked me to tell Erin about the windfall, and why Scott might not be home until late. I agreed, and she hung up. I talked with Erin and she was as excited as I was. The bonus, as we understood it, was likely to be more than either Erin or I made in a year. After the last session was over, Erin asked me if I wanted to skip the dinner and drive back tonight, rather than the following morning. That way we could at least celebrate a little with our spouses. I thought it was a dandy idea, and we left town about 6:00pm. About 10:00pm we pulled up to Erin's house, and Erin remarked that Scott must still be at the party as the house was dark. I waited until Erin was in the house, then left for our place, only about a mile away. When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed that there was a car that looked a lot like Erin's parked at the curb, but really didn't think much about it. The lights were on, and I simply pulled into the garage, a little surprised that Lynne's car wasn't there, parked and lugged my suitcase into the house. The house was quiet, although lights were on everywhere. I looked in out on the back deck, then headed for the bedroom, thinking that I would just unpack, and maybe put a bottle of champagne on to chill. I walked into the bedroom, and on the bed was Lynne and some man, her legs wrapped around his waist, and for the first time I heard the sound of Lynne panting as she whipped her head back and forth. I dropped the bag, strode over to the bed, grabbed the man by his hair and flung him against the wall. "What the fuck is going on here?" The man slumped down on the floor for a moment, then snarled, "I'll kill you for this." He started up, and I kicked him, intending to kick him in the stomach, but he was moving faster than I thought he would, and I wound up kicking him directly in the groin. He moaned and curled up in a fetal position. "Oh, my God, Mick" Lynne's voice was very slurred, and from her face it was obvious she was quite drunk. I looked down at the asshole who had been fucking her, and realized that it was Scott. I pulled Scott up by his hair again, and told him to get dressed and get the fuck out of my house. I could hear Lynne crying on the bed, but I just ignored her for the moment. When Scott had gotten his clothes back on I told him to give me his car keys. "Why the fuck should I?" "Because I will arrest you for drunk driving if you get in that car." "How the hell am I supposed to get home?" "I think it is called walking, asshole." As I took his keys, I told him, "If I ever see you in this house again, I am going to beat the living shit out of you." I escorted Scott out of the house, shut the door and locked it. Lynne came out of the bedroom; a robe covering her, crying and asking me let her explain, her voice as slurred as it had been earlier. "No fucking way. You are too god dammed drunk to make any sense tonight. We'll talk tomorrow." With that I went into the bedroom, got my pillow, then walked into the guest bedroom, shutting the door. After undressing, I laid on the bed for probably twenty or thirty minutes, and finding no answers to the thousand and one questions running through my mind, I got up and fixed myself a very strong drink, thinking that maybe I could at least make my mind go numb. It wasn't five minutes later when the phone rang, and when I answered, I heard Erin's voice. "Mick, what the hell happened over there? Scott is here with some cock and bull story about you assaulting him?" I laughed bitterly. "If I had assaulted him, he would have known it. I found him fucking Lynne, and too drunk to drive. So I took his keys from him and told him to walk home. As far as the assault, he seemed to get a bit upset when I pulled him off of Lynne, so I tried to kick him in the stomach, but he was moving faster than I expected, so I caught him in the balls instead." There was silence for a few moments, then: "I see, well this is the last time that bastard will screw around on me. I hope you kicked him really hard." There really wasn't much else to say, so we hung up and went back to our thoughts. I spent a very restless night, probably only sleeping for an hour or two. In my mind I kept seeing Lynne with Scott between her legs, and it was all I could do to not just go throw up. How the hell could this have happened? About 5:30am I got up, made some coffee, and sat at the kitchen table, lost in my thoughts. Lynne dragged in about 30 minutes later, her eyes swollen, and looking very hung-over. "We need to talk." "We sure as hell do." "I didn't mean for last night to happen. We were all at the party, and my boss kept ordering champagne for everyone. We all were dancing, and I got hot and thirsty, so I kept drinking the champagne. By the time we were ready to leave, I was sober enough to realize that I shouldn't be driving, so Scott offered to drive me home rather than calling a cab. When we got to the house, I asked him if he would like a cup of coffee or something. He asked for a glass of wine, so I opened a bottle of wine, and we both had a glass. He turned on the stereo, and asked me to dance one last dance with him, which I did. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was in bed with him on top of me. That was when you came in." "I didn't want it to happen, I didn't mean it to happen, I really don't know how it happened." "Oh God, I'm so sorry. I've hurt you beyond belief, and betrayed you. How can you ever trust me again?" I looked at her and all I could see was Scott fucking her in our bed. My mind was really rather numb, but I could see that. It went on in this vein, for two or three hours, until we agreed that I would not throw her out, which is really what I wanted to do, and that we would go to counseling. It was around 9:30 or 10:00 when Lynne had gone off to shower, and I saw Erin jogging up the street to our house. I let her in, and she, remarkably, hugged me, then told me she would like to get her car keys back. "By the way – asshole is gone. I threw him out last night. Told him he had half an hour to pack a bag, and get out. I even called a cab for him, but that bastard will never be in my home again." I heard Lynne coming up the hall, and stepped away from Erin. Lynne rounded the corner, saw Erin, and came to an abrupt halt, obviously having heard what Erin had said.. "Oh Christ. Erin how can you ever forgive me for what I did. I didn't want it, I didn't mean it, it just happened. I've screwed up my marriage and now yours." Erin was silent for a few moments. Then she smiled, and reached out and hugged Lynne. "Scott is a sexual predator. This is not the first time that he has played around on me, but it sure as hell is the last. I really think that he could charm almost any woman he wants into bed." "I forgive you. Now just try and get your marriage back on track and don't worry about me." Monday morning, Lynne had a marriage counselor lined up with an appointment for the following evening. When we went to the counselor, Lynne didn't try to hide what she had done, and was putting no blame on me. She simply wanted the counselor to make things better. It didn't work. As the counselor told us at the first meeting, it was up to us to put our marriage back together. We tried, Lynne tried, everyone tried, but it didn't work. Hell, Lynne even went so far as to completely replace the bed and all the bed linens, giving the old stuff to Good Will. It still didn't work. Like I told Lynne and the counselor, I still loved her, I could forgive her, but I couldn't get the pictures out of my mind of Scott fucking her. Every time Lynne undressed, I saw in my mind that she was doing it for Scott. When she caressed me, it was Scott she was caressing. It got to the point that sex was virtually impossible. When we tried to have sex, it was as though I was simply Scott for her. Finally, after two or three months, shortly before Sean was to come home, she sat me down at the kitchen table, and asked me: "This isn't going to work is it?" "I don't think so. Every time I see you, it is as though you were being there for Scott, or with Scott." "You understand that Scott means absolutely nothing to me?" "Yeah, but that doesn't stop the visions in my head." Lynne handed me an envelope. " I've talked to an attorney, and made up a divorce agreement. I don't want a divorce, but we can't go on like this, Sean will be horribly affected. This is what I have asked him to draw up. He disagrees with me but this is what I want to do if we can't make things better." The upshot was that we got divorced. I had custody of Sean because Lynne felt that he would need his father more than his mother in the coming years. I kept all of my retirement with the sheriff's department, and part of Lynne's 401(k). The house was appraised and we agreed that we would split that 50-50, but only when the house was sold, and then only at what the current appraised value was, less the part of Lynne's 401(k). Lynne would pay a significant amount as child support, and we would both waive spousal support. Lynne got a three-bedroom condo within bike riding distance of our house, and we made sure that Sean knew how to get back and forth without crossing busy streets. We also made sure that he knew that he was welcome in either house whenever he wanted to be there. Erin's divorce was not going as well as mine had. Scott was fighting everything, hiding assets, refusing to pay spousal support, you name it, and he was fighting it. Finally, just before Christmas, Lynne brought Sean back after a weekend visitation, and handed me a check and an envelope. "What's this?" "That is half the bonus I got for that damned contract that cost us our marriage. I felt that I owed you this, at the very least. In the envelope is a copy of what Scott has made as bonuses this year. You can't use my name, or tell anyone where you got it, but this should help Erin with her divorce." With that, Lynne turned and almost ran back to her car. Erin finally got her divorce through, with the judge becoming very pissed off at Scott. The paperwork that Lynne provided helped Erin's attorney a lot in finding the assets that Scott had been hiding. By the time the judge figured out what Scott had been doing, it had really pissed him off. It showed in the child support and spousal support payments he was required to make. Erin got the house, but had to take out a loan against her retirement that she had built up to buy him out. Erin and I carpooled together every day. It made sense, really, Sean and Sam were cared for by the same woman until we could come pick them up, so either Erin or I would drive to work in the morning, dropping the kids off at school, then in the evening we would pick them up on the way home. Nancy, the care provider, was really wonderful. She didn't mind if we were a few minutes (or on one or two occasions, a few hours late), if dinnertime approached, she simply fed them along with her own family. For the next year or so, I just immersed myself in work and Sean. I didn't date; hell, I didn't even know how to go about it. Dating when you are in your thirties is a whole lot different than when you are 21 or 22. Or at least it seemed so to me. One day Erin and I had just dropped off the kids at school, and were on our way to work, when she asked me: "Mick, why haven't you started dating? You need to get something in your life other than work and Sean." I was silent for a few minutes, then replied, "To be honest, I really haven't wanted to. I suppose that I don't want to get hurt again. Besides, who in the hell would want to date a thirty something divorced man with a child?" Erin kind of squirmed in her seat, and was silent for a few moments, then responded: "How about a thirty something, divorced mother with a child?" I couldn't think of a single thing to say for probably five or ten minutes, then: "How would you like to go out to dinner Friday night after work? We could either get Nancy to keep the kids for a couple of hours, or we could simply take them with us." We had dinner that Friday with the kids, and Erin and I started dating – more or less. Every once in a while we would ask Nancy to take care of the kids for a couple of hours extra, and go to an early dinner, but we never had the ability to have a so-called formal date. Even though Lynne took Sean every other weekend, Scott was having almost nothing to do with Erin or Sam, and it just didn't work out. We had been going through the charade for probably six months or so, when we were on our way home from work on a Friday night. It was summer, and I was in the mood for a bit of steak and fresh corn on the cob. A Full Circle "How about you and Sam come over for a BBQ? I'll stop and get some steaks, and fresh corn, and we can do a hamburger for Sam? Sean won't be there, he is with Lynne this weekend, but if nothing else, we have a couple of DVDs that I bought for Sean that should keep her happy." "Sure, let's do it. I could use a bit of dead cow myself." Sean had already been picked up by the time we got to Nancy's, but Sam came bouncing into the car. "Mom, Ellen asked me if I could spend the night at her house, and her mother said it was okay. Can I, Mom, please, can I?" "Let me talk to her mother, and we'll see." Erin called Ellen's mother on her cell phone, and agreed that she would drop Sam off at their house after she got Sam's clothes together. I laughed and said, "My God, does this mean we get to have dinner together without worries or kids for at least once?" Erin looked at me a bit speculatively, then smiled and said, "It does look that way doesn't it?" After dropping Erin and Sam off at their house, I stopped by the local grocery store, got a couple of really great steaks, corn so fresh that you could almost taste the juice coming out of the ears, and something for a salad. Erin arrived about 7:30, looking wonderful. She had on a simple white blouse and slacks, but neither did anything to hide her charms. She had dressed this way before, but looking back on it, she had paid special attention to how she dressed and made herself up. Not much makeup (she never used much), just a touch here and there, and overall she was quite a treat to the eyes. We had a drink, cooked the steaks, had wine with dinner, and generally enjoyed ourselves more that we had in weeks, or maybe months. Erin had put some music on the stereo, turned it low so that it was just background music, and I found I was truly enjoying myself, perhaps more than I had since Lynne and I got divorced. Erin suggested that we might as well wash up the dishes, and so we did. It was really more efficient to just wash them quickly, and put them away than it was to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. After all, it was just a couple of plates, some silverware, and a couple of glasses. I reached up to put the glasses away in the cupboard, and when I turned around, Erin was standing right in front of me, looking up at me with her little Elvin face. I really don't know what came over me to this day, but I looked at her for a moment, then leaned over and kissed her, my hand caressing face. The kiss lasted considerably longer than a simply peck on the lips, and when I stood up again, Erin smiled. "I was wondering if you would ever do that." With that she put her arms around my neck, molded her body to mine, and pulled my head down for a kiss that seemed to go on forever. When we separated slightly for the second time, Erin put her arms around my waist, hugging me as close to her as possible, and I found my arms going around her, trying to pull her even closer. We stood like that for several minutes, not saying a word, then Erin pulled back, and as I started to say something, she put her fingers on my mouth and whispered: "Not a word." She stepped back and looked me straight in the eyes for another moment, then took my hand and pulled me toward the hall, leading me down toward my bedroom. Erin stepped over to the bed, pulled down the covers, and started unbuttoning her blouse. Again, I started to say something, and she smiled and told me to stop talking and get undressed. Erin got undressed before I did, and lay down on the bed, spreading her legs a bit and watching me. I clambered onto the bed, leaning down to kiss her nipples before moving up to kiss Erin. Erin kissed me back with an intensity that banished any thoughts of the previous kisses. When I lifted my lips from hers, she reached down and fondled me, feeling my erection, then said: "Come kiss me, and come inside me. I have waited for this for months, and I don't want to wait another minute." It was pure and simple lust; sex; you name it. Neither one of us had had sex in over a year, and we were more than ready for it. I was afraid that I was going to come as soon as I entered her, but I found that she was about at the same point, and we both managed to come very quickly. We snuggled down together, and Erin whispered to me that she wanted to go to sleep with my arms around her. We did, my head on her breast. I woke up the following morning about 6:00 or 6:30, and after a few moments felt the call of nature becoming more insistent. I quietly got up, went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and relieved myself. I decided that I might as well brush my teeth and shave before going out and making coffee. I was in the middle of shaving, when the door opened and Erin came in, naked as a jaybird. She smiled at me, kissed my shoulder, and then used the toilet. When she was done, she opened the shower, turned on the water, adjusted it, and asked me if I wanted to join her. I quickly finished shaving and clambered into the shower with her. Erin greeted me with a big hug, then picked up the soap and started to wash me off. I am sure that the shower was one of the longest that I have ever taken, as we washed each other, paying particular attention to all the nooks and crannies, until I was just as hard as a rock. We got out of the shower, dried each other thoroughly, again paying detailed attention to every portion of each other's body, then laughing climbed back into bed. I kissed my way down Erin's body, pausing for several delicious moments at Erin's breasts and nipples before proceeding further down her stomach to her thighs and the delights that was between them. I had barely started on her clit, spreading her lips to allow me freer access, when Erin pushed me over on my back and straddled my head with her legs, lowering herself down so that I could resume my investigations of her wonderful pussy. Even though we had just showered, I could smell the wonderful smell of a woman who was sexually aroused, and licked her with my tongue, penetrating her pussy with my tongue, then sucking on her clit. This lasted for just a few moments, then I felt Erin taking me in her mouth, sucking, then swirling her tongue around my cock, kissing her way up and down my cock before taking it back in her mouth. Thankfully, we had fucked the night before, or I would have come almost instantly. "I'm going to come in your mouth pretty soon if you keep that up." Erin immediately stopped, kissed the tip of my cock, then swung herself off my head, turning around and impaling herself on my cock. "Not this time, I want you to come in me. I want to feel you pulsing in me when I come." Erin sat up, moving her hips back and forth, and I could feel her pussy walls tightening and grasping me. Suddenly she ground herself down on me, falling forward as she did until her breasts were pressed against me, as I did my very best to lift her off the bed with my thrusts. She actually started coming before I did, it was obvious, Erin was noisy in bed, crying, babbling nonsense words, and frantically thrusting her hips at me. I felt myself let go and that just seemed to make her go wilder, until she finally collapsed on top of me, murmuring something that I couldn't understand. We lay together like that for quite awhile, my softening penis slipping slowly out of her. Finally, Erin kissed me, and rolled off. We dozed for a while, then Erin kissed me again and told me that she had to get home in case Sam called. She took another quick shower, and declined my offer to help her wash. "We'll never leave the bedroom if we do that, and Sam is going to be wondering where I am." Our "dates" continued after that, but as neither one of us wanted the kids to know we were sleeping together, it was a bit difficult. We continued taking the kids with us to dinner, or just fixing dinner at one or the other of our houses, and every so often we were able to get together for a couple of hours of adult fun. Another few months went by, and we were both getting a little tired of having to sneak around behind the kids' backs as it were. Finally, one Friday night when Sean was at Lynne's, I had dinner at Erin's. Sam had gone up to go to bed, and I faced the question directly. "Erin, I love you. I really do. I would also like you to be my wife." Erin looked at me and was silent for a few minutes. "Before I answer that, I have a couple of questions." "You know that I still run with Lynne almost every day?" "Sure." "You know that Lynne would literally do anything in her power for you? If you so much as crooked your little finger, she would come running back?" I was silent for a few minutes myself. "Love, I know that. I have known that all along. I can't claim that I love you in the same way I loved Lynne, and perhaps still do. But I do love you, and everything about you. It is a different kind of love, but it is a true love." "Almost every time I see Lynne, I see Scott between her thighs, and that is something I don't think I will ever get over. That is what destroyed our marriage. I could and did forgive her, but I just couldn't get past that movie playing in my head. So if your worry is that I will someday go running back to Lynne that simply will not happen. I can't do it. If I could, we would never have been dating to start with, I would still be married to Lynne." It was Erin's turn to be silent for several minutes. "Yes, I can live with that. I love you, and realized that months ago, I just could not deal with another cheating husband, or one that decided he wanted to go back to his first wife. If both Sam and Sean don't have any objections, and I don't think they will, then I will happily marry you, and we can take care of each other, and love each other, in our old age." I threw my arms around her and hugged her, finally feeling that I belonged with someone again. "Can we ask Sam tonight?" "I'll go up and see if she is still awake." It turned out that Sam was still awake, reading under the covers, and chagrined at being caught doing it. However, when she found out why her mother had gotten her out of bed, she was as happy as any of us could have wanted. We cautioned her that Sean had to agree also, but she simply laughed and told us that the two of them had thought that we would get married anyway, so it wouldn't be a surprise. Sunday night, when Sean came home, Erin and Sam were there. Erin and I took him aside for a few minutes and explained the situation. "Does this mean that I won't see Mom any more?" "Absolutely not. Neither of us wants to do anything that interferes between you and your mother. Nothing will change at all, it just means that you will have another mother and a sister." "A sister? Cool, I've always wanted a sister. This is going to be really neat." I was a little surprised at him wanting a sister, as most boys his age wanted nothing more than to be rid of their sisters, but perhaps it was because Sam was such a tom-boy, interested much more in boy things than in dolls and dressing up. After all, Erin had been teaching Sam martial arts since she was five years old, and she was quite good, for a small child. We had dinner, and the kids talked excitedly about being brother and sister. Sean was willing to share his DVD's and computer games, and Sam was going to teach him martial arts. Erin broke in at this point, and said that Sam was not going to teach anyone martial arts, she was not advanced enough yet, but Erin would be happy to include Sean in her sessions with Sam, and she was agreeable with the two of them practicing together. However, they always had to have Erin present, at least until she was sure they weren't going to do something stupid. Downcast faces told the story of how that went over, but they brightened up when Erin reminded them that she would be there every night, and that maybe we could set up a training area in the basement or in the garage. Later, I laughed with Erin when I told her that she had probably set herself up for evening training sessions with the kids for the foreseeable future. "I really don't mind. Besides, this will be a good way for me to work with Sean, and make sure that he sees me as myself, and not as a threat to his relationship with his mother." A couple of days later, on the way to work after dropping the kids off for school, Erin told me that she had told Lynne that we were getting married while they were on their morning run. Lynne, of course, had not been really happy, but seemed to take it rather well. That night, we were having dinner at my place, the four of us, and were just in the process of cleaning up from the aftermath, when the doorbell rang. I answered, and Lynne was there, her eyes a bit red as though she had been crying. She asked if she could come in and talk with Erin and I, and of course I invited her in. Erin started to scoot the kids off, but Lynne said: "Oh no, this involves them also, they should hear it." Lynne looked around at all of us, seemed to struggle with something, then started in, all in a rush: "I don't know when you two are getting married, but I would like to offer to take both the children while you go away on a honeymoon. You need that time to really get to know each other without the children there all the time." "I would also like to have your permission to pick Sam up after school tomorrow, and Sean if he would like to come. I want to go pick out a bedroom set for Sam for my place, and I want her to have a hand in picking it out." "I'll have it delivered on Saturday, and if you two could come over and help me, I will move all my office stuff out of Sam's bedroom and into my own. That way Sam will be able to feel that she has her own place there, if she chooses to use it." "I also want to say that I that Sam would be welcome any time that I take Sean. Brothers and sisters shouldn't have two different lives, and this should make it a bit easier. Besides, that would give you two a bit of time for yourselves every so often." "There, I managed to get that all out without getting my tongue tangled, or making a fool out of myself." I was absolutely shocked. I had never heard of an ex even thinking of doing something like this, but Erin was up to the task. She went over to Lynne, hugged her, and told her that this was the nicest thing she had ever heard of, and that of course it was okay with her. I broke in at this point and assured Lynne that we would be happy to help her move the furniture around. I thought of asking her to dinner that night, but then decided not to, that would potentially make things too difficult, uncomfortable and tense, at least for me. We were married a month later in a simple civil ceremony, with one of the county judges doing the honors. We had Sean and Sam there to be witnesses for us, although it wasn't strictly legal as they were supposed to be eighteen to act as witnesses. The judge just grinned, and pronounced that in his capacity as judge, he was declaring them eighteen for the day, then his clerk and the bailiff did the legal requirements, although Sam and Sean were listed on the marriage certificate as our official witnesses. Our honeymoon was only about ten days long, as both of us had to be back to testify in cases we had been working on. I did find out though that Erin was much different in bed than Lynne was. I hadn't been able to find this out earlier, because we simply hadn't had the time together to really explore each other sexually. Lynne was not inhibited, but unless she had gotten herself pretty tipsy, she was more into the plain old missionary position, with some, but not a lot of oral sex. When she was half smashed (or a lot smashed) she was quite different, even suggesting things to do, something she never did when sober. Erin sober was like Lynne when Lynne was smashed out of her gourd. Oral sex, anal sex, you name it and she was willing to at least try it a few times to see if she liked it. I don't think we ever tried any kind of sex that she didn't like. I remember thinking at one point, why the hell had Scott ever played around on her. He couldn't possibly have found anything better than Erin. Our first night as husband and wife was indicative of what I could expect life with Erin would be like. We arrived at a bed and breakfast that we had reserved about three hours out of town. We put our bags in the room, walked around a bit, had dinner and split a bottle of wine between us, then strolled around some more before going back to the room. I told Erin that I was really enjoying the idea that we had time to just be together without having to run back to pick up kids and she agreed wholeheartedly. We got to the room, and before I opened the door, I scooped Erin up in my arms to carry her across the threshold. Erin laughed as I did so, telling me that she had a surprise for me. I started to undress Erin, but she put her hand on my chest, gently pushing me away. "No, tonight of all nights, I want to undress you, then undress myself while you watch." Erin slowly undressed me, taking her time, until I was completely naked. She kissed the tip of my penis, then stood up and stepped back. "Sit on the bed, or lie on it. Now it is my turn to get undressed, and we have all the time in the world." Erin very slowly unbuttoned her blouse one button at a time, slipping it off her shoulders, then undoing her skirt. She peeled off her pantyhose, tossing them in a corner, and stood up before me with only her bra and panties on. The bra was a front clipping bra, and she unhooked it, slipping it off with a shrug of her shoulders. "And now my gift for you my love. I can't bring you my virginity for obvious reasons, but I can bring you a new me, one meant only for you." With that she slid out of the panties she was wearing to show that she had completely shaved herself. She didn't have a wisp of hair anywhere but on her head. She posed for a moment, then leaped onto the bed: "Let the games begin." I caught her, spinning her over, and laying her down on her back. "My turn" I kissed her, and we went on that way for quite some time before I broke away slightly, and begin to kiss her neck and shoulders, heading for her breasts. By the time I got to her nipples, they were rigid, and Erin was starting to give little moans whenever I sucked on a nipple. I paid a lot of attention to those nipples, alternating between them, and Erin seemed to be getting more and more into the attention. By the time I let my fingers caress her clit, then enter her, she was more than ready, she simply erupted in an orgasm, her hips straining upwards, and her hand trying to muffle the sounds she was making. I eventually stopped, and when she came down somewhat, I started in again, this time with my mouth and tongue, licking the length of her pussy lips, sucking on her clit, sliding my tongue into her, then doing it all over again. Suddenly Erin erupted again, screaming, "Oh God, don't stop, don't stop, Oh God please don't stop." I don't know how many orgasms that Erin had, but it had to be more than three or four. Finally, she started pushing my head away, telling me that she had to stop for now she was too sensitive. I sat up, then laid back, thinking I would give Erin a few minutes to recuperate, but Erin had other ideas. I had no sooner lain down, than Erin was bending over my groin, her breath warm on my cock. She took me in her mouth, and working the magic she had that first morning soon had me at the point of coming, her tongue swirling, her mouth sucking. "Watch it, I going to come." The only response was a muffled, "Well come on." I lost it, and exploded into her mouth. She kept sucking at me until I was completely empty, then let go and snuggled up against me, her head on my shoulder. A Full Circle "So this is what sex is really like." "Oh God yes." We drifted off to sleep, and I awoke probably a couple of hours later to find that Erin had decided that she wanted more. She was fondling me, her breath warm on my balls, and when she got me hard, she simply swung her leg over my hips, inserted me into her and started her hips moving. I swear to God, we made love at least three times a day the entire honeymoon. Towards the end I told Erin that I thought that I needed Viagra, because I wasn't sure I could get it up much more. She just laughed and told me to leave that part to her. That was her job, and she started in on my cock again with her mouth. The next three years went by wonderfully. Erin's sex drive didn't seem to change one iota from our honeymoon. Obviously we weren't making love three times a day, but we made love virtually every day, or every other day. Erin did tone down her noise during sex, because we didn't want the kids to hear us, but on the weekends that both kids were gone, she let loose as if to make up for it. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found a partner like Erin, and I told her so – as many times as it occurred to me, which was quite often. Surprisingly, at least to me, Erin and Lynne were still quite good friends. They ran together every morning at some god-awful hour while I stumbled around the house and fixed breakfast for the kids. I'm sure they talked, but what about I had no idea. After about two years we had decided that I should adopt Sam. Scott had had absolutely no contact with her, and hadn't paid a dime in child support since the day the divorce was final. We asked Sam if she would like that, and she was quite thrilled – a daddy who wanted her. The adoption was final about six months before our third wedding anniversary, and we celebrated with a trip to Disneyland. On our third anniversary, we were going to go away for a few days, but Erin had to testify in one of her cases, so we decided to put it off for a week or so, until we both had our calendars clear of court dates. About 3:00pm, Dan Bloom, my boss burst into my office, told me to grab my hat and come with him. Dan took off running down the hall, and I did my best to catch up with him, but Dan was really in a hurry, and I barely kept up with him. I followed him out the door, and he jumped into a squad car, motioning me to get in. As soon as I was seated he took off, hardly letting me get the damn door closed. Dan hit the red lights and siren before we were even out of the parking lot, then hollered at me over the siren. "There's been an accident, a bad one, and Erin's hurt. They are life-flighting her to the trauma center. I don't know any more." I shut my mouth and let Dan drive. As we approached the hospital, I could see the life-flight chopper coming in for a landing, and by the time we got actually up to the emergency entrance, I could see someone being wheeled in through the doors on a gurney. Actually, wheeled in was a misstatement. The medical personnel were running as hard as they could while pushing the gurney. Dan dropped me off, and I ran into the emergency room, only to find that Erin had already been taken up to the operating room. Apparently they had radioed ahead, and a full trauma team had been standing by with an OR already set aside for her. Nobody could give me any information about Erin's condition, so I wandered back out to the emergency room waiting area, and sat down. Probably ten or fifteen minutes later, Dan came in, looked around, and when he saw me, he came over and sat down. "I've talked to the paramedics in the chopper, and to a couple of the guys that were on the scene. Erin is in pretty bad shape. Apparently what happened is that a tanker truck came around that big hairpin curve on highway 91, and either was going too fast, or had a mechanical failure. In any event, the damn thing overturned, spilling fuel all over the road. Some woman in a car hit one of the trailers pretty hard, pretty much smashing up her car. Erin must have either seen the accident happen, or came on the scene almost immediately. She got the driver out and dragged her behind her squad car, then went back for a toddler that was in a car seat. She got him out, but the fire was already pretty well started, and as she was running away from the car with the kid, the whole shooting match blew up." "Apparently Erin was hit by a jagged piece of flying metal. She was hit hard enough that it went right through the back of her vest, breaking several ribs, and imbedding itself in her chest. She was never conscious as far as the paramedics know, but she was shocky as hell, and they couldn't get the metal out, as they were afraid that they would cause more damage in doing it." I took this all in, then just sat back thinking about Erin and our life together, hoping that the doctors could somehow fix this. A nurse finally came down and told me that Erin was in surgery, which I already knew, and was expected to be for several hours. I used my cell phone to call Lynne, explained the situation to her, and asked if she would please pick up the kids and tell them that Erin had been injured. I really didn't want the kids just sitting in the hospital not knowing what was going on. Lynne immediately assured me that she would, and that she would take them to my house and fix them dinner. She felt that it would be better for them to be home, rather than at her condo. Three or four hours later, a very tired looking doctor came into the waiting room, looked around, and came over to us. "Sean O'Conner?" "Yes. How is she?" "Let's go into my office." I dutifully followed him down the hall until he took me into a small office, filled with diplomas, pictures, and file cabinets. When I had settled myself, he was silent for a few minutes, then finally told me that despite everything they had tried to do, the damage had just been too great. Erin had died on the operating table. He also told me a number of other things, the only one that actually sank in was that even if Erin had lived, she probably would have been a paraplegic, the metal fragment that went into her back had also broken her back, causing severe spinal cord damage. The last thing he told me was that Erin had awakened for a moment before they had put her under, and said: "Tell Mick and the kids that I love them all." I was devastated; there isn't another word for it. I stumbled out of the office, found Dan and told him my news. He immediately told me that I was to take as much time off as I needed, then offered to drive me home. I declined, just asking him to take me back to the office so I could get my car. After I picked up my car, I started home, to give the news to my kids. I didn't even know how to tell them. The funeral service was not what I really wanted. I wanted it to be private, with basically just the kids and I, and a few close friends. But when I found out that virtually every peace officer in the county, and a number of them from outside the county were planning on coming, I gave in. The church was packed, with probably another four or five hundred outside, unable to get into the church. Neither Erin nor I had been particularly religious, so the officiating priest was just the unofficial chaplain for the sheriff's department. I had wanted to have Erin cremated, and her ashes scattered at sea, but her parents and Lynne persuaded me that it would be better for Sam if she had some place to go close by where she could more or less commune with her mother if she needed it. The procession to the cemetery was a little mind-boggling. There was a motorcycle escort of probably 400 police motorcycles, with the addition of every off-duty squad car available (including a large number of on-duty cars as well.) All in all I would guess that there was something on the order of 700 or 800 officers attending the funeral, as well as a couple of hundred civilians. Erin had a flag draped coffin, and when the entire thing was over, the Sheriff, at my request, presented the flag to Sam, who immediately broke down into tears. Predictably, Scott didn't show up at the funeral, nor did he call Sam. I wondered how in the hell could a father abandon his child so completely, but never, to this day, did I get an answer. A couple of weeks after the funeral, Lynne called me at the office and asked if Erin had ever talked to Sam about sex, and what was going to be happening to her body in the near future. "I have no idea. Erin and I had talked about it, and Erin was certainly planning on doing it very soon, but I just don't know if she ever did." "With your permission, the next time both kids stay with me, I will find out, and if she didn't, I will save you from embarrassing both yourself and Sam, and do it for you." Of course I agreed. When Lynne brought the kids back on Sunday night, it was a bit late, and I shooed them up to bed. "Well, had Erin talked to Sam?" Lynne laughed. "I wish that I had known as much about my body, and about sex as Sam does when I was thirteen. I'm not sure that she doesn't know as much or more about sex and her body as I do." "Erin did a wonderful job. She found a book some marriage counselor has written. The author is also a sex therapist, and a clinical psychologist. I looked at the book for an hour or so, and it is extremely well written, although it is a bit graphic. She also has written a book for much older teens and young adults that I wish I had read before we got married. Our sex life might have been much different." The next year, or eighteen months, went by rather rapidly. I was either immersed in work or the kids. I went to every single event either of the kids had, whether it was baseball games, martial arts tournaments, or just parent-teacher meetings, I was there. I even volunteered to be a chaperone at their dances. Lynne had also made herself part of the Sam's life. She had always been a part of Sean's, but now she really made an effort to be part of Sam's life also. I saw her at every single event either one of the kids were at. The kids loved it. They had two people, who even though they weren't married, were always there cheering them on, and just in general being there for them. Lynne had become "Mom" to Sam. Early on it had gradually moved from "Lynne" to "Mommy Lynne" to "Mom Lynne", then to "Mom" as the trauma from her mother's death grew a little more distant. The kids were fourteen, and Lynne and I were two of the chaperones at a dance for the kids. It didn't require much, just being there, and making sure the kids weren't doing anything outrageous. Outrageous being defined as dancing to close, or "dirty dancing." We were watching the kids dance, when Lynne mentioned that I was going to have to be prepared for the two of them starting to date before too long. "Christ, I'm not really ready for that yet. The pimply faced kid showing up for Sam, and Sean wanting to go out with the girl who is dressing too much like an adult for my tastes." "It's going to happen, Mick. Just be prepared." There was a silence for a minute or two, then Lynne asked: "So why haven't you started dating again?" I was quiet for a moment or two, then replied: "I have had two lovely wives, each of them as much as I could ever ask for. I don't think that I could ever get that lucky again. Besides, I have two wonderful children to raise, I really don't have time to go out running around chasing women, none of whom could realistically measure up to my previous wives." Lynne's mouth almost dropped open for a moment, then she said: "I didn't know you felt that way about me. I thought you hated me for what I did." I looked at Lynne for a moment then replied. "I never hated you. I actually forgave you. I tried to explain this to both you and the counselor. I just could not get those images of you with Scott out of my head. It was like the words to a song that you keep hearing in your mind, over and over. It just wouldn't go away. I didn't stop loving you. I just couldn't live with you, in fact I had real problems even being in the same room with you, at least at first." Lynne was quiet for quite awhile. When the music changed to a slow dance, she looked at me, her eyes a little teary, and asked me if I would dance with her. We did, and it was like old times. I am not a good dancer, but both Erin and Lynne had been very good. Good enough to make up for my two left feet. We danced a few times, and I enjoyed it tremendously. The feel of a woman in my arms made me forget that I really didn't know how to dance. We brought the kids home, as Lynne had left her car at my house so we could all go together. I shooed the kids up to bed, and asked Lynne if she wanted some tea or coffee. "I really would prefer a glass of wine if you have it." "You know me." I joked. "I always have a couple of bottles of wine stashed around." I opened the wine, poured us each a glass, and we settled down in the living room. After twenty or thirty minutes, Lynne finished her wine, and got up to go to the bathroom. When she came back, she poured herself another glass, then instead of seating herself on the couch where she had been sitting, she came over and sat on the ottoman in front of my chair. She didn't say anything for a few minutes, just sitting there playing with her wine glass, not looking at me, and seeming a bit uncomfortable. Finally she said: "Mick, please don't say anything until I am done." I nodded. "I'm still in love with you. I would give anything in this world, except Sean, that that night had never happened, but it did. I have tried to date other men, but it didn't work. There just wasn't anything there. Oh I even went to bed with two men, and the sex was okay, but the emotional issues it caused were just not worth it. I did that shortly after you and Erin were married, but I discovered that I could not have sex with anyone but someone I loved. I have never loved anyone but you, not even close." "I want to ask you one question. Is there even a chance that we could get back together? If you say no, I will respect that, and never ask again, but I feel as though I have to ask. I'm sorry if this causes problems for you, or causes you to remember what happened, but I don't know what else to do." I was silent for quite awhile – probably five or ten minutes. My mind was remembering the good times that Lynne and I had had. But for some reason I just couldn't remember the pictures that had been in my mind. I had thought that the scene of Lynne fucking Scott was indelibly imprinted in my mind, never to be erased, but it was gone. I knew what had happened but the pictures were gone. I don't know if it was just time, or if it was that things much more important had erased them. "Mick, I'm sorry. I won't bring this up again." I stretched out my arm as I leaned forward and caressed her cheek. "No, I am not rejecting you. I was just remembering all the good times we had. It seems that the movie that was always playing in my head has gone. I don't know where or how, but it is gone." "Would you like to try again? Maybe this time it will work." "Oh God." With that Lynne leaned over and put her head in my lap, sobbing. Her tears were just pouring down the side of her face that I could see, and she was shaking she was crying so hard. "Oh God please." I caressed her back with one hand, and wiped the tears away with the other. "If we are going to try again, then it is going to be a bit hard with all the waterworks." Lynne laughed shakily, and sat up, wiping her eyes for a moment. Then she stood up, and resettled herself on my lap, buried her head on my shoulder, her arms around me, hanging on to me like a drowning woman. We sat like that for probably fifteen or twenty minutes, then I gently pushed Lynne back until I could see her face. Her mascara was a mess, black streaks running down her face, her eyes were red, and I could see tears threatening to start running down her face again. I kissed her softly, then again, and her lips were soft, inviting and her mouth opened and her tongue darted out hesitantly, to meet mine. We "made out" for a few more minutes, then Lynne reached for my hand, took it, and placed it firmly on her breast, holding it there with her own hand. I looked at her for a few moments, then leaned forward the few inches I needed to kiss her again. As I did, I slid my hand around her breast, caressing first one breast, then the other. When I broke the kiss, I looked at her again, then gently urged her to stand up with my hands and arms, and as soon as she did, I stood up, put my arm around her, and guided her in front of me down the hallway toward what had once been our bedroom. When we got into the bedroom, I stopped the gently pressure of my hand on her back, wrapped my arms around her, and begin kissing her neck, while moving my hands up to cup her breasts. It wasn't long before my fingers had the buttons to her blouse undone, and I slipped the blouse off her shoulders, taking just a moment to undo her bra and slide that off also. A few minutes later, Lynne was entirely naked, her clothes strewn on the floor. I simply picked her up and deposited her on the bed, then started letting my own clothes fall on the floor beside hers. We lay beside each other, looking into each other's eyes for quite some time, our hands doing all the talking we needed to. Eventually I kissed my way down from her lips and neck to her breasts, at the same time cupping her pussy with my hand. I didn't use my fingers, but rather pressed the palm of my hand against her, rubbing softly, then harder with just the palm of my hand. While I was doing this, I sucked one nipple into my mouth, sucking on it, nibbling gently, then switching to the other nipple. Lynne arched her back as I did, pushing the breast I was paying attention to further up, and making soft noises. Finally, I was unable to wait any longer, and positioned myself between her legs. Her hand came down and grasped me, guiding me into her, and hissing as I slid into her. Fortunately, Lynne came almost immediately, because I wasn't very far behind. I collapsed on top of her, holding myself up a bit with my arms, not wanting to have all my weight on her. We stayed like that for a few moments, then I eased myself off as my softening cock fell out. We cuddled, then Lynne burrowed her head onto my shoulder, holding me very tightly for a very long time. Eventually we fell asleep without having said a word. The next morning I awoke to Lynne leaning over me, kissing me softly. We made love again, not hurriedly, just with a great deal of loving. We showered together, just like old times, got dressed, and went out to start our morning. We talked a bit, but the only thing of importance that we talked about was that the old movie running in my head was gone, and it hadn't affected our love making, and it didn't appear that it would again. An hour or two later, Sean came into the kitchen to find Lynne and I sitting at the kitchen table, talking. "Mom! What are you doing here? Did you spend the night?" Lynne turned slightly red, and replied; "Yes, I did." Sean thought this over for a few moments. "Does this mean that you and Dad are getting back together again?" "Your father and I will have to talk about that, and then we will see." We were married for the second time about a month later. Sean and Sam were our witnesses, and as the same judge that had married Erin and I was officiating again, they were once more declared to be 18 for the day. We were married on a Friday, and as soon as the deed was done, we all climbed into the car, and took the two kids to a ten day summer camp, and we went on a honeymoon. A Full Circle Not surprisingly, we made love at least once a day. The only real surprise I had was on, I believe the third day, when I was in the process of investigating Lynne's nether regions with my mouth and tongue. I got a pubic hair between my teeth, and had to stop for a moment because of the distraction to get it out. After Lynne asked what the problem was, and I told her, she laughed and said; "Well let's fix that." She clambered out of bed, went into the bathroom, and in a moment called me in. She was sitting on the counter, a small pair of manicure scissors in her hand. "Would you like to do this, or should I?" The idea greatly appealed to me, so I took the scissors from her, and carefully trimmed her pubic hair down to small stubble. When I put the scissors down, Lynne didn't say a word, just handed me my razor and the shaving cream that had been sitting on the counter beside her. It really was quite a turn-on, shaving her completely bare. When I finished, she jumped off the counter, turned, spread her legs a bit and looked at herself. When she was done looking, she turned to me and said; "Now let's get back to where we were." I actually asked her about her seeming to lose her inhibitions the next morning, and she smiled. "You know the book I got Sam about sex?" I nodded. "Well the author also wrote another book aimed at young married couples. When we decided to get married, I bought the book, and read it cover to cover, a couple of times. Whatever my problems with sex were before, I don't think I need to get smashed to enjoy sex and to let you enjoy me as much as you would like. I think I can now at least attempt to be a bit more experimental on my own, and I am certainly more open to your suggestions. Lynne wound up adopting Sam herself, with Sam's permission, just in case something happened to me. The kids are grown now, and our concern is that we haven't seen any sign of grandchildren yet. Oh, and Scott. A couple of years after Lynne and I remarried, a sergeant walked into my office, tossed a report on my desk, and asked if this guy wasn't Erin's ex-husband. I glanced at the report, and saw that the victim had had the living shit beat out of him in a nightclub parking lot. When I saw the guy's name, it matched with Scott's. "Looks like it is the same name, probably the same guy. What happened, some guy find him fooling around with his wife?" "Probably. The club manager found him in the parking lot a couple of nights ago. Somebody had really worked him over, probably with brass knuckles. He claims that he doesn't know who did it, but we think that he has had the shit scared out of him." "In any event, he isn't a pretty boy any more. They cracked a couple ribs, but that wasn't the big deal. He looks like someone took a hammer to his face. The doctors told Stan that he was going to require extensive surgery to fix his face, and even then they thought that he was always going to look a bit funny. Both cheekbones were shattered, as well as his jaw. He will probably look human again after awhile, but he is always going to look like a prize fighter who lost far too many bouts." I really didn't care, and didn't follow up on the report. As far as I know, no one was ever arrested on this one.