303 comments/  210667 views/  710 favorites

The Rehab

By: DreamCloud



Author's Note: I can't seem to write short stories. I really appreciate all you who have taken the time read my scribbles. Thank you Tim413413 for the hours of editing.

*****

I quit my job. That was the first and the most pleasant thing I did. There is always a silver lining in every dark cloud that tries to fog you in. My bosses and co-workers were shocked. I gave no reason (Pity doesn't appeal to me.) when I departed. I left them with the image I was chasing my dreams. There were meetings where they offered to raise my pay. They demanded to know who had bought me away. I just smiled and signed a non-compete contract for a tidy sum. It's strange when you see your true dollar value on paper. It is way too large and, at the same time, way too small. 

Some things were easier for me than would be for most in my situation. I had no close family, which was a blessing. My friends were more like acquaintances. I would meet them for cards or movies, but never really shared any intense bonding moments. They could call me to jump their car or collect the mail when they went on vacation. They knew better than to expect a shoulder to cry on when real problems occurred. I didn't share mine so I expected not to share theirs. Needless to say, no one was particularly upset when I picked up and moved three states away. 

I bought an old house. One of those money pits in need of a ton of work. I had often spent Sunday mornings watching home repair and remodeling shows. I wasted years dreaming of becoming a rehab master. Buy them, fix them and flip them. That was what I really wanted to do for a living, and that is how I would spend the rest of my life. 

The real estate agent thought I was insane. She tried to steer me to less-stressed properties. She just couldn't wrap her head around my dream. Of course, I got the place for a song so her commission may have been her impetus to try to sell me something a bit more pricey. I was the proud owner of a home in need of everything redone. I moved in without electricity and only one working bathroom. It was simply heaven. 

A new roof and upgrading the electrical were the first things on my to-do list. I would have to contract out both. I would help with the labor, but I needed professionals to guide me through the critical steps. The roofer could come out immediately. The electrical was a different story. The contractors were backed up and didn't expect to get to me for two weeks. I sweetened the bid price and suddenly someone else's electricity was on the back burner. I really didn't care how much it cost, I just knew I needed twenty amp service as soon as possible. The electrician would arrive in two days with an estimated three days of installation. 

Without power, I couldn't cook and refrigeration lasted as long as ice cubes in the cooler. You can only eat so many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before your tongue revolts. I decided eating at least one meal a day in town would suffice. Junction City was a small town lying outside the normal world as I knew it. Far enough from the city so it couldn't be considered a suburb, but close enough it wasn't the outback. A basically rural population with a four-block downtown. It would have been considered quaint if you didn't have to drive past the Pleasure Palace on the way into town. 

Just on the outskirts, well before any of the residential streets, lay a rectangular metal building. It, in and of itself, was unappealing with its surrounding chain link fence and bright lights. Only the sign, with 'Pleasure Palace' in large letters, was welcoming. A pair of stockinged legs was artfully placed, underlining the words. At night, the sign could be seen for a mile. During the day, you could drive right past and miss it. 

The first night I drove past. I hadn't been to a strip club in years. The last time was a bachelor party for an acquaintance of mine, some twenty years ago. I remember getting stinking drunk and parting with four hundred dollars. All that cash, and I left as unsatisfied as the law would allow. It was still a somewhat fond memory. I had always assumed the memory was better than the night. 

I ate at a burger joint named Rusty's that first night. It was a family-owned place with all the ambiance of a country kitchen, down to the red and white checkered table clothes. The waitress, a high school girl with way too many freckles, quizzed me about what I was doing in Junction City. It was a small town and I guessed good gossip was worth its weight in gold. I decided there was only one secret worth keeping any more and dished out the rest to her. It got me a free slice of apple pie for dessert - a welcome-to-the-town slice. I graciously accepted and really began to enjoy the down home atmosphere they fostered. The pie was excellent. Most people tend to spare the sugar and cinnamon when they make an apple pie. Not Rusty's. It was sinfully good with tart apples offset by proper amounts of diet-busting sugar and plenty of cinnamon. 

Sleep was comfortable since the weather had held. I knew I couldn't be lucky for long and prayed for nature to cooperate until the power was up. I already had a new furnace in the basement, waiting patiently for energy and duct work. I spent the next day cutting holes in the first floor and installing the necessary duct work. I would have to put another unit in the attic for the second floor. I would worry about that as soon as the power was pulled. It was an old house that seemed to resent modern conveniences. I would merge it with the future as best I could. 

I was exhausted by 3:00. It had been a while since I had done much physical labor. Working with your hands above your head is pretty exhausting when you're not used to it. I showered and decided to have an early dinner. 

I was greeted by name when I entered Rusty's. I had the same waitress, the same meal and, this time, I paid for my slice of pie. I received a strong helping of knowledge about the upcoming harvest festival. Since I was now a regular, I guess the waitress thought it was necessary to keep me informed. I smiled and I read her name tag, 'Diana.' I tried to set that to memory. I liked the food and intended to return. Remembering names seemed to be a pastime in town, so I felt I needed to participate. 

On the way back, while driving into the blazing sun, I didn't pass up the Pleasure Palace. It was early and I wasn't tired. Without power, there was little to keep me entertained at home. I figured a few hours at a strip club would be less boring. I don't know what I expected, but the reality was quite different. I entered from the bright sunny day into an almost pitch-black dungeon. I removed my glasses, thinking my lenses had darkened during the walk from the car. Sadly, the view was no better. A flash from behind me ruined my slowly adjusting eyes. 

"Hello." It was a pleasant voice from an equally pleasant woman who had just entered behind me. I wondered if she was a dancer at first, but her bearing indicated more authority. The door quickly closed and I was blind again. From what I could tell, was her name was Maddy. It was illuminated on her ass, lettered in white, on black boy shorts. The black lights, that made it so hard to see, gave me a beacon to follow. It was wonderful watching the M and Y changing elevations as she headed to the only brightly lit space in the building. I almost looked away shyly, but I caught myself. You're in a strip club, you idiot, you're supposed to look. I enjoyed the view as it pulled ahead smartly. She obviously had better eyes than mine. 

I was just beginning to make out the bottles on glowing shelves, as I ran into a dark, cloth chair. I scooted around it and continued to the brightest location in the long room, the bar. As I neared, my vision improved dramatically. I looked around and saw a basically empty place. There were chairs for about fifty people surrounding a long stage stretching to the center of the room. There was another set of empty chairs on the other side of the aisle that ran around the stage chairs but up against the wall. 

I knew it was early, but I wasn't expecting to be the only guy in the place. Center stage was never a place for me. I thought about skipping the whole thing, and leaving before I got uncomfortable. I tossed those thoughts aside, and figured I knew how to drink without making a total ass of myself. I grabbed a stool at the bar and was pleasantly surprised to see Maddy behind it. 

"Can I get you a drink?" She slid right up, not that there was anyone else to serve. Her blond hair was pulled back and tied with something invisible. She had a cute face and a fuller figure than you would expect to see dancing on a pole. Little did she know I would have tipped well to see her dance. She had a flow about her that just leaked sexiness. I looked at the wall of bottles, thinking that might help me decide what to drink. I fell back to something I drank years ago.

"I think I will just have a rum and coke." I don't think I was looking at her when I spoke. I knew I had a tendency to do that when I'm uncomfortable, and I chastised myself. 

At the end of the bar was an extremely good looking, tall blonde with a perfect figure. I knew it was perfect because she was encased in a bikini she couldn't wear on most beaches. I didn't like her immediately, and tried not to attract her attention. Women like her belonged on a shelf - encased in plastic. I rarely found them warm, even when they would give me the time of day. Just eye candy as far as I was concerned. She was taller than I was anyway. Luckily, Ms. Perfect was flirting with what looked like the manager of the establishment. 

Maddy returned with my rum and coke, and grabbed the twenty I left on the bar. "That will be seven dollars." She made eye contact during the exchange, and I barely remembered that I meant to do that too. She returned with change and I made an effort to say thank you to establish contact. She returned my smile and returned to the corner with Ms. Perfect. I realized I was interrupting dinner as I saw the Styrofoam containers open, and forks go to work. 

I whirled my comfy bar stool around to look down the long stage. Little had changed. The place was dead, but I could now see I wasn't the only customer. A couple of men were seated in the comfortable velvet chairs sipping drinks. There were a couple of flat panel TVs, at bad angles, displaying what looked like a little league game. The summer was nearing the end, so I suspected it was some kind of regional or national championship. I wasn't sure if watching that was worth the seven bucks I just spent on the drink. If Ms. Perfect was the only dancer here, I would have more fun trying to pole dance myself. 

A DJ, hidden somewhere, announced that the beautiful Rebecca would be on stage. Ms. Perfect dropped her fork and closed her Styrofoam dinner container and walked, uncaring, to the stage. She wasn't my type, but she was built well. I rotated my bar seat and watched. 

The girl could move as well as she looked. She had perfect silicone breasts that defied gravity. Her hips undulated in a very seductive manner. If I were still a teenager, I would have killed for her. At my age, she remained eye candy. Very nice to look at, but definitely to be kept at arm's length. The other two patrons had other ideas. They both moved to the stage seats and began tipping dollar bills. I watched as she encouraged them to run their hands along her body and breasts. I wondered, briefly, if her breasts were as hard to the touch as they looked. I decided it wasn't worth the dollar to find out. I would just be satisfied with the free view. 

I turned back to the bar and raised my empty glass to the Maddy. She smiled and started making me a fresh drink. The bar had a mirror behind the bottles that allowed me to watch the stage without turning around. Ms. Perfect was playing with her crotch, trying to coax more dollars out of her admirers. It seemed to be working. 

"Are you having fun?" Maddy asked as she placed the fresh drink in front of me, collecting the empty one and taking seven dollars from what I had left in front of me. 

"Well, I'm not bored," I admitted. I wasn't thrilled with my decision to stop in, but I wasn't ready to walk out yet. "Is it always this quiet?"

"We pick up when the sun goes down," Maddy replied. She didn't immediately return to the corner of the bar. I assumed that meant she was willing to talk.

"Are there other girls dancing today or do I have to wait for the vampires?" I said humorously. I don't think she cared for the humor.

"Most of the guys like Rebecca," Maddy answered and pointed to the stage with the bar rag in her hand. I let my eyes follow the rag back to the stage. Rebecca was pulling her bikini bottoms to the side, trying to urge more dollars her way. I looked back with sardonic grin.

"I know I don't look like a guy who should be picky, but she is a bit too Barbie for me," I said. Maddy laughed. I didn't think she expected anyone with a dick to make that comment. I smiled and took another sip of my drink. I noticed Maddy was making the drinks pretty stiff. I guess that helped loosen the customers' wallets. 

"I have never heard Rebecca described that way," Maddy said happily, "she's a nice girl though - not like you would expect." I smelled a sales pitch. I just shook my head.

"Nah, I'd rather talk to you," I stated. I saw her cringe at the comment. Only I could overstep in a strip club.

"I don't dance and my clothes stay on when you tip," Maddy informed me very clearly. I was a little surprised by the venom I sensed at the end of her statement. I raised my hand in surrender.

"I meant nothing by it. I should have kept my mouth shut," I said. I swung my chair around and looked blankly at the stage. I figured I would finish my drink and get the hell out of there. It was a stupid idea in the first place. This is a perfect example why I have acquaintances instead of friends. My mouth always moved faster than my brain and people always misinterpreted my comments. 

It took me about half a minute to down the rest of my drink. I was thankful it wouldn't be a long ride home. I decided I had outgrown strip clubs. I placed my glass on the bar and left the six dollars on the bar as a tip - my way of apologizing for the unintended slight. Life was too short to let a situation grow bigger than needed.

I almost made it to the door when a large man, linebacker large, stepped out from behind a dark counter. I guessed he doubled as the DJ and bouncer. At first, I thought he was just leaving his booth, but he blocked my way out. 

"Excuse me," I said politely, and made a move to pass him. He grabbed my arm, not strongly like he obviously could, but carefully, just to stop me. 

"Maddy wants to have a word with you," he said, nodding toward the bar. I looked back to the bar and Maddy was waving for me to come back. I looked back at the mountain before me and sighed. 

"Look, I am just trying to leave - I left a good tip, she'll just have to accept that as my apology," I said. I was hoping this wasn't going to get blown out of proportion. I was surprised when he let go of my arm. 

"Okay, but I think she wants to apologize to you," he said, stepping aside to let me pass. I looked back at the bar and Maddy waved me in again. 'Shit,' I thought. Now I had to go back. I took a deep breath and took the long walk back to the bar. 

"I think I misunderstood you," Maddy apologized, "I was wrong and I'd like buy you a drink. I certainly don't want you to leave angry with us." She was giving me a fake smile. I could tell she wasn't used to apologizing. The six dollars was still on the bar and a fresh drink was waiting. I thought about just accepting her apology and leaving. There was nothing here that really appealed to me. Maddy wasn't even appealing any more. The math was easier when I added in the dark house I would return to. 

"Okay, I guess we did get off on the wrong foot." I smiled and sat back down. "I do thank you for the drink. It's a nice gesture." Maddy's smile became real. She just nodded and headed back to the end of the bar. Business was business and I am sure they had me sized up for more than twenty bucks. 

Ms. Perfect finished her set and collected the money off the stage. I was watching in the mirror as she reassembled her clothing and carefully walked off the stage in her heels. She was making a beeline for me and I would really prefer she didn't. I saw Maddy out of the corner of my eye wave her off. Rebecca caught the signal and switched directions. I guess Maddy and I now understood each other. 

I was feeling no pain when the DJ announced a new dancer, Lucia. I swiveled in my chair, a little too far, and looked to the stage. An olive-skinned woman with rich black hair cascading down her back climbed the stairs. She was dressed in flowing, translucent silks in different shades of pink. Fleetwood Mac's 'Gypsy' began to play over the sound system. Lucia began twirling, letting the silk spread out in some kind of Stevie Nicks impression. Her face was more mature than Ms. Perfect's and her curves were more womanly, at least what I could see as the silken wings flew about. 

"She's not a Barbie doll," Maddy said from behind me. I looked back and Maddy pushed my six dollars at me and gestured to the stage. I smiled and pushed the money back at her. 'Can't spend it in the grave,' I thought. I winked at Maddy and moved to a seat by the stage. Lucia had already lost some of her silken coverings. Lucia moved toward me as I sat down and she gave me a little private show. My eyes were even with her feet. A small patch of four leaf clovers was tattooed on her right ankle. When I looked up into her eyes, I didn't see one ounce of Irish. I guessed Hispanic. 

Lucia wrapped one of her silken wings around my neck and it just stayed there, as she stepped back, disrobing a tantalizing bit more. I was alone at the stage, the others probably blew their wads on Ms Perfect. Lucia took a quick spin around the poll in the center, leaving the rest of her silks behind. She returned to me in a dark pink bikini, the top holding what looked like real breasts. I was basically lost in her beauty when she leaned over, her lips close to my ear. 

"It's usually customary to tip," she whispered with a slight accent and reinforced it with a smile. The smile was deadly cute. I chuckled, a bit buzzed, and remembered where I was. I withdrew a twenty and placed it on the stage. That got me a bigger smile. She lay on her side, ass to me and grabbed my hand. She caressed herself, running my hand up her thigh, along her hip, up her stomach. She guided my hand to her breast and helped me squeeze it through the fabric. It was real, not a hard silicone facsimile. 

"Untie me," Lucia whispered and released my hand. I pulled the strands of the two bow knots that held her top on. She rolled her body and teased me by holding the cups to her breasts, the strings snaking away on their own. She raised to her knees, her thighs far apart, threw the bikini top behind her with one hand and covered her breasts with the other arm. I enjoyed the private show and smiled as I watched her midriff undulate to the music. This woman had muscles motivating her curves. 

Some asshole sat down on the other side of the stage and I saw Lucia's eyes glance in his direction. I knew where I was, but unfounded jealousy crept into my consciousness. I kind of wanted Lucia to myself, but my illusion of being special was beginning to fade. Her eyes returned to mine and she dropped her arm. Her breasts were full and soft looking with a just a little healthy sag. She took my hands in hers and ran them up her sides, along the sides of her breasts and then had me fully cup them. The nipples were taut as I ran my fingers lightly across the tips, almost tickling them. She cooed on cue which excited me, even though I knew it was all an illusion.


The Rehab



"I'll be right back," Lucia said, smiling. I watched her dance over to the other patron. I admit I was feeling selfish and had no desire to share. I knew that wasn't part of the strip club experience, but I brooded anyway. I grabbed my drink and sat away from the stage and the bar to sulk a bit. 

After a few minutes, I laughed at myself. Here I was thinking I was bonding with an onstage stripper when all she was after was what was in my wallet. The drink was going to my head and I was letting the fantasy become a bit too real. I saw Lucia turn back to where I was sitting, and frown a bit before collecting a few more dollars from the interloper. At least my twenty held some sway over her thoughts. She really was a fine looking woman. I loved how she moved her curvy hips and how her calf muscles moved her confidently on the heels she was wearing. 

Lucia's set ended and she walked off the stage toward where I suspected the DJ booth was. I began to consider leaving again. I had no idea what I expected coming here, but I wasn't as happy as I thought I should be. It all seemed a bit superficial and I only had a brief moment of titillation. I felt more relaxed at Rusty's, and the conversation was better. 

I had just emptied my drink when Lucia walked up. She was wearing the same pink bikini top, but had a silky sarong wrapped around her waist. She sat in the chair next to mine and put her hand on my thigh, stroking it lightly.

"You left," Lucia remarked, showing me a set of pouty lips. I decided I would respond with truth. There was no reason to try to pretend I was something else here. 

"I'm selfish that way - didn't want to share," I said, hoping I didn't sound too intoxicated. It had been a while since I had drunk a lot of rum. Her hand moved higher up my thigh; the feeling was pleasurable. 

"Well, I'm here now," Lucia said and smiled, "you have my full attention." I thought about that for a second. I liked the idea, but I knew it was a delusion to think it was any more than a one-sided business arrangement - at least as far as profit was concerned. Time was too short. I decided I would just latch onto the illusion for a while. 

"Now that makes me happy," I smiled, "can I get you a drink?" I knew I could. It was one of the numerous ways to drain my wallet. It didn't matter in the scheme of things. It's not like I needed money for retirement any more. 

"Sure," Lucia responded and waved Maddy over. I ordered another rum and coke, this time with a glass of water. Lucia ordered some kind of fruit cocktail. I suspected it was devoid of alcohol and she would split the cost with the bar. I was happily cynical. 

"So, you have any kids, Lucia?" I asked. She was a bit taken aback by the question. Not something a guy with a lady's hand high on his thigh would normally ask. I decided I wanted a normal conversation with a pretty girl. 

"I have a girl." Lucia smiled. I saw some pride in her brown eyes. "I work here to put her through college." That took me by surprise. She simply didn't look old enough.

"Either she is a prodigy or you're a bit older than you look," I said with a bit of whimsy. I was really feeling the rum. I felt her hand tighten on my thigh. 

"No, my baby is smart, but not that smart." Lucia went into mom mode. I found it endearing. "She will be the first one to graduate from college in my family." Her eyes were alive as her hand left my thigh and she began animating her words with her hands. "She isn't sure if she wants to be a lawyer or an English teacher. She is only a sophomore so she has some time left to decide. I was so proud she got accepted - my mama cried. She even got a partial scholarship because she plays viola for the orchestra. I can tell you this, she won't be dancing for a living, not if I have any say about it." Lucia's accent became more pronounced as she continued, "I kind of want her to meet a nice guy there, someone who will have an education like her. I don't want her worrying about rent and struggling through life like me. She kind of had a hard childhood and deserves more than I gave her." 

"She sounds wonderful," I said. Maddy showed up with our drinks and gave Lucia a glare. I suspected the conversation was supposed to be moving toward a private dance. I paid for the drinks and tipped well, figuring Maddy might let it go for now. 

"Is Maddy the owner?" I asked. Maddy seemed to be in control of things and was able to offer the free drink without consultation.

"Yes," Lucia said quietly, "she's a good boss, maybe a little pushy." Lucia's hand returned to my thigh, rubbing up and down. "We have private dances here," she said without confidence. I guess talking about her daughter and lap dances didn't mix well in her brain. 

"How much?" I asked. 

"Twenty a song," Lucia responded with a little more enthusiasm. I reached in my wallet and counted out two hundred. 

"There, for the next ten songs, we can talk unhindered by financial constraints," I said. I took a sip of my water, trying to even out the alcohol. 

"You want to pay me to talk?" Lucia asked incredulously. 

"Yep, I just want to talk with a pretty woman," I said with a smile, "unless that's too kinky for you." Lucia smiled as I clarified the proposal. I had decided naked breasts are fun, but only if it didn't stop there. Since it had to stop, I might as well go for companionship since the money didn't matter any more. Lucia took my money up to the bar and I watched Maddy shrug her shoulders and nod. I guessed they were discussing my strange fetish. Lucia returned and held out her hand.

"We still get the private room," Lucia said. I let her help me out of the seat and grabbed my water. She led me along the stage and up a flight of stairs. We got to the end of the hall and she pushed a curtained door aside. There was only a small table and a bed in the room. "Lie down, kinky boy," Lucia said as she took my drink and set it on the table. I lay on my back, my head on a small throw pillow. Lucia lay next to me on her side, her hand caressing my chest.

"So, what would you like to talk about?" Lucia asked. Strangely, I wanted to listen more than talk. 

"You were telling me about your daughter." I tried to get her going again. "I can't believe you're old enough to have a daughter in college." 

"I had her when I was seventeen," Lucia said calmly, "it was an accident, you know, drinking at a party, and the guy ran as soon as he found out. My mama and I raised her. I never finished high school because of it, that's why I am going to make sure Sofia finishes college." Lucia's hand pulled at my shirt, untucking it from my pants. I was about to stop her when I felt her hand on my belly. It was pleasurable so I didn't say a word. 

"You work every day?" I asked.

"Nope, I'm off Wednesdays and Thursdays. What's your name, strange man who only wants to talk?" Lucia inquired as her warm hand stroked my belly. 

"Todd, strange woman who agreed to talk," I answered trying to be funny. Her fingers ran up my side, sending a shiver through my body.

"Well, Todd, what do you do for a living?" Lucia asked while her hand traveled across my chest. Her hand was really soft and it warmed my skin. I was enjoying the touching more than I thought. 

"I used to be a bond broker," I answered, " now I'm trying my hand at rehabbing a house."

"You must be rich to afford such expensive conversations." Lucia smiled as her hand ran across my belly, just above my belt. I felt a little aroused by her efforts. It was pleasant so I didn't stop her. I was letting the rum do the thinking. I tucked my arm under her head and pulled her closer, as I would a girlfriend - if I had one. 

"I guess you could say I am rich this year," I responded cryptically. I did have a lot of money to blow since the future was going to take care of itself. 

"No family?" Lucia quizzed. The conversation was becoming about me. I wanted to steer it back to her. 

"Nope, I do have a cousin I haven't seen in twenty years," I said then tried to retake the conversation, "tell me about your mama."

"Not much to say." Lucia pulled up my shirt, exposing most of my belly and chest. "She works hard at the same hospital she started at thirty years ago. She does the laundry and cleans rooms. Never misses a day of work. That's my mama." I loved the way she said 'mama,' the way it rolled off her tongue with just a hint of an Hispanic accent. 

"So, what are your plans once your daughter graduates?" I asked as Lucia's fingers dipped just under the waistband of my pants and tickled the top of my pubic hair. I involuntarily sucked in a breath. She smiled at my response.

"Ticklish, hmmm," Lucia commented as she reached behind her neck and untied the top strings of her bikini. "I haven't thought that far ahead. I just had that one goal since she was born." Lucia pulled the bikini cups free of her breasts and smiled. "I know you like my tits. You're allowed to play with them while we talk you know." I reached over with my free hand and caressed her left breast and ran my fingers over her nipple. 

"I'll have to work here for a few more years to pay off Maddy," Lucia stated, "then I won't need as much money. I don't know, maybe waitressing or something." 

"You owe Maddy money?" I asked. I was a little surprised by that revelation. My eyes never left her breast. It felt really good in my less-than-sober hand. 

"She loaned me tuition money for Sophia," Lucia admitted, "she doesn't charge me interest, but I promised I would work here until it's paid off." Lucia's hand sank deeper into my pants, never touching my growing erection, but sending sweet twinges its way. "I figure I have to be here another four or five years. It would be less if all the customers wanted to have long conversations." She laughed. 

It was a friendly form of indentured servitude. Maddy was keeping Lucia locked in by leveraging her daughter's future. Since there was no interest, it wasn't predatory, but it still smelled bad on the surface. 

"You liked to be touched," Lucia observed. She sat up and helped me remove my shirt. I didn't fight it; I was deep in a rum fog and she was correct in her observation. Lucia undid the bottom set of strings of her top and tossed it on the floor. She maneuvered on top of me and laid her breasts on my chest, her eyes only a hand's width from mine. 

"Why did you decide to quit being a broker?" Lucia asked. Her breasts felt extremely good mashed into my chest. It had been a long time since a woman had paid this much attention to me. Too long I decided. 

"I've always had a dream about rehabbing old houses," I answered while splitting my sight between her eyes and her beautiful cleavage. "I guess I figured it was now or never." I left out the real driving factor that drove the job change. (I already mentioned pity didn't appeal to me.) Lucia's leg wormed between my legs and was creating friction in a most pleasing way. 

Lucia's lips grazed my ear, I could hear her breathing, almost sighing, tickling my ear drums. In my slightly inebriated state, I sensed an impending eruption between my legs. Her leg was massaging my cock through my pants, her breasts warming my chest and her lips were so close to my neck. My hands were exploring her sides and back. 

"Lucia, I'm getting too excited," I stammered, "you need to stop." Lucia's lips touched my ear, oh so tenderly.

"It's okay," Lucia whispered with compassion and kissed my neck. The sensations were too much. I ran my hand under her hair and hugged her close as I began to spasm. 

"Lucia...Lucia," I called softly trying to stop and not wanting to. My hips began to buck and that wonderful feeling filled my groin as well as an embarrassing amount of warm wetness. She held me through it, kissing my neck, saying it was okay. 

When it was over, my muscles, that I didn't know were so taut, relaxed. My mind let go of the darkness hovering at the periphery. Something had changed when the immediate replaced my dark future. I was happy, at least at that moment. I was truly happy. 

"Sorry, it seemed like you needed it," Lucia said when she lifted her head away from my neck. I knew my crotch was soaked and it would be an uncomfortable ride home. I knew it wasn't my intention to let things go that far. I also knew she was right - I did need it. I decided I wasn't going to return to the Pleasure Palace. The fantasy Lucia had built was too delicious and attempting to repeat it would be a waste of time. 

I pushed the envelope in an attempt to complete the fantasy. I pulled Lucia's lips to mine and kissed her. I don't know what I really expected from the kiss, maybe a slap or a knee to the groin. I just knew, in my slightly drunken stupor, I wanted to kiss my imaginary girlfriend. She surprised me by kissing me back. Her warmth spread through me again as she added passion through her lips. I caressed the back of her neck and explored her back with my other hand as I enjoyed the taste of her mouth on mine. I liked the kiss as much as my earlier release. It was wonderfully euphoric and I was able to lose myself again. 

"I usually don't do that," Lucia admitted when she finally broke the kiss. I could tell she was surprised at herself. She sat up, physically announcing the end to our dalliance. I just lay there happy, with a silly grin, watching her breasts jiggle with her movements. She gave me a strange look, almost on the verge of concern. "You know this is a strip club, right?" she asked. I assumed she was making sure I wasn't falling for her. Little did she know, I didn't have time to fall for anyone. 

"Yes, " I answered, my insides still feeling wonderful, "and you are a wonderful dancer who is quite possibly the best conversationalist I have ever met." I grinned to ease Lucia's concern. She laughed and it surprised me how much I enjoyed it. Her eyes lit up and little crinkles formed at the edges when she laughed. I sat up and looked at the dark spot between my legs. 

"It's going to be a bit embarrassing walking out of here," I said. I kept the grin to make sure she didn't feel badly about it. I wasn't sure why it concerned me. 

"It's dark downstairs; no one will know," Lucia responded with a wicked smile, "but you may have to hustle to your car." I laughed at that. She helped me put my shirt back on and pulled me to my feet. I helped tie her bikini top and made sure I touched her more than really necessary. Her olive skin was really soft and she had such a sweet musky odor. I had no idea what the perfume was, but it was subtle and would be teasing my brain for the next few days. 

"Here," I said, reaching into my wallet,"this is for Sophia." I tipped Lucia a hundred dollars. You can't take it with you after all. She seemed hesitant to take it. I wasn't sure how long I should hold it out to her. 

"You're not coming back, are you?" Lucia asked. She was a lot deeper into my psyche than I thought. I guess she sensed it in the way I tipped.

"You were wonderful, but no, I won't be coming back," I said trying to be serious, "this place really isn't me, if you know what I mean." Lucia took the money and hugged me. It was a deep, friendly hug. She took my hand and led me downstairs to the front door. She said goodbye and kissed me on the cheek and sent me on my way. It was the last time I ever expected to see Lucia, my wonderful fantasy girl. 

The roofers and the electrician showed up the following morning. I had a splitting headache I wished was from a hangover, but I knew better. The doctors had told me to expect them and had given me strong pain relievers to thwart the pain. I had decided I wouldn't take the pills unless I became nonfunctional. I didn't want to lose touch with reality until absolutely necessary. 

I let the roofers do their thing and I lent my labor to the electrician, Frank. He was a burly man, one of those guys you would expect to see hefting a beer at the local sports bar. Luckily for me, he was a very efficient electrician. There was very little wasted effort in his movements and he didn't need to spend a lot of time analyzing what needed to be done. We walked through the house once, and I explained what appliances I expected to put where. When we were done, he had crude sketches where all the lines would be pulled and where best to bring the new service into the house. I spent the day cutting grooves in plaster to make way for the new service. The house was constructed before electricity was envisioned and we had to improvise to pull the service into the rooms. The downstairs was easier since the wires could be pulled in through the basement. The upstairs required more modifications. I tried to keep as much plaster on the walls as possible. I could have ripped it all out and replaced the slats with drywall, but I liked how the plaster gave the house a warm look. 

The whole time I was working, my mind kept floating back to Lucia. She seemed to have affected me more than I had thought. 'She was just a hot stripper,' I told myself over and over. I was amused with the argument I was having with myself. There was no way I could have a relationship and only an idiot would have one with a stripper. I went back to work with a vengeance. I was happy my headache dissipated before lunch. 

The next day went better than the previous. No headache, I had mastered wire pulling and the roofers were done by noon. My mind still tended to drift to Lucia. I had no idea why I was fixated on her. I guess it was because she was the last woman I had had physical contact with. Probably the last female I would ever have any kind of relations with. It saddened me a bit, but I had known this long enough to let it slide off. I spent the afternoon securing a plumber for next week. The electrician wasn't going to return until the inspector showed up to allow us to connect to the grid. The inspector wasn't available until Friday, two days away. So much for my three-days-until-power dream. 

I had another early dinner at Rusty's. Diana filled me in on what was happening and quizzed me about how the rehab was going. For such a young girl, she was surprisingly outgoing and articulate. Too bad you can't buy stock in a person's future - Diana was going to go far in life. I promised, again, to consider attending the harvest festival. I was happy to see the apple pie was consistent day to day. That free sample Diana gave me the first day was paying Rusty's good dividends. 

I quirky idea struck me on my drive home. Knowing the future lets you do things you would never normally do - things you wouldn't even have thought of before - it was silly, selfishly funny and quite insane. There was no need to save my money so I decided, what the hell. I pulled into the Pleasure Palace knowing it was Lucia's day off. Maddy greeted me with a pleasant smile, probably thinking I might become a regular. 

"Lucia is off today," Maddy said, "I think I have someone else you might like."

"Actually, I just wanted to speak with you," I responded with a grin, "and not in the naked sense." I added that to forestall any anger Maddy might have brewing. She caught the humor and gave me a weak 'ha, ha.' I dropped enough money last time so she decided to play nice and listen.

"How much does Lucia owe you?" I asked with a serious face. The expression on Maddy's face was worth the asking. Her eyes kind of bugged out and she had trouble forming words. 

"Ahh...I think that's between Lucia and me," Maddy stammered in reply, "you dating her or something?"

"Nope, haven't seen her since that first night and don't intend to see her again," I said, smiling. I loved the look of complete confusion on Maddy's face. "I just want to pay it off. How much does she owe you?"

"Are you insane?" Maddy asked rhetorically, "you knew her for what, two hours?" 

"How much, Maddy?" I asked again. 




The Rehab



"Eighteen thousand," Maddy replied, "she'll just borrow more next semester. Why in hell would you do this?" 

"Because I can," I said as I pulled out my checkbook. I began filling out a check. 

"And you trust me it's eighteen and I'll tell her you paid it back?" Maddy asked incredulously. 

"Yep, if you were a bitch, you would have charged interest," I said with a large smile. "What's your last name Maddy?"

"Make it out to Magdalene Johnson," Maddy answered, "and what should I tell Lucia?"

"Tell her you have a kind heart. Tell her money fell from the sky. I really don't care what you tell her," I said and realized I meant it. I was just giving Lucia choices. Everyone deserves choices.

"You know I am going to wait for this to clear," Maddy said, "I am certain you are certifiable."

"Thank you, Maddy," I said, handing her the check. She shook her head as she took it. "Trust me, she can make better use of it than I can," I added seriously. 

"Are you sure you don't want to stick around? I'll buy you a another drink," Maddy asked, with a smile, in a futile attempt at the rest of my wallet. I just laughed and shook my head. I felt really good when I left the Pleasure Palace for the last time. There were few times in my life when I was an actual help to someone. I could, at least, look back at this event with a bit pride. Lucia had made me feel good, twice. I needed little miracles like that. 

I suffered another migraine Thursday afternoon. This one cost me some time as I hid from the sun. I was working on stripping the old layers of paint off the wood siding in the morning. When the migraine finally subsided, I attacked the siding with more vigor. I really wanted to complete this house. I probably should have picked a smaller one, but this one had character. I knew in my mind what it would look like when it was done. The real estate agent didn't see it, but she had no vision. 

Friday was a miraculous day. The inspector was on time and allowed the electrician to complete the connection to the grid. I shamefully yelled, "Let there be light," as I plugged in one of the few lamps I had. That glowing bulb was a beautiful sight. I ran to the kitchen and plugged in the little 'college dorm' refrigerator I had bought and heard its compressor hum. I screwed a bulb into the temporary socket in the ceiling and threw the switch. Blessed light filled the room. I flicked the switch on and off a few times, feeling way too much joy for such a trivial event. I could now work outside during the day and inside during the night. It was glorious. 

Saturday morning I felt wonderful. I had only one side of the house left to scrape and I had power. I mounted a set of speakers in the window and plugged them into my phone. I set the app to random shuffle and 'Sultans of Swing' kicked up loud. My nearest neighbors were a quarter-mile down the road so it was my world with my sounds. I was singing along, poorly, while I went to work on the siding - this time with power tools. I have no idea how man survived in the past when electricity wasn't even a dream. I felt like a king, tearing into the layers of paint with mechanical speed. 

I was finished with a quarter of the side and was moving the ladder when a red pickup pulled into my dirt driveway. I reached in the window and paused 'Layla.' Maybe my neighbors were closer than I thought. No one came out of the truck and the sun was glinting off the windshield so I couldn't see who was in it. I moved toward the vehicle, pulling the dust mask off my face and trying to beat some of the paint dust off my clothes.

I shouldn't have been surprised when Lucia stepped out of the driver's door, but I was. I really wasn't prepared to see her again. I stopped walking forward and just stared, trying to think about what I should say. Her black hair was tied in a pigtail with a few errant strands loose in front of her ears. Her expression was confused and must have looked something like mine. I guessed she didn't know what to say either. I decided to move forward again.

"How did you find me?" I asked to break the ice. I think I made it sound harder than I meant to. 

"I had breakfast at Rusty's," Lucia answered. There are no secrets in a small town, not with people like Diana running about. "Why did you do it?" she asked with a small bit of difficulty. I stopped about twenty feet away. It felt like that was the appropriate space we needed. I began to feel a bit stupid since I really didn't have a good reason, at least not one that would make sense to her. 

"Sorry, it seemed like you needed it," I said softly. It sounded better in my mind than it did leaving my lips. Lucia put her hands on her hips and tried twice to say something, but did a better job than I had holding it in. She ended up just shaking her head. 

"It's a gift for you and Sophia," I somewhat pleaded, "don't ask why." I was wishing Maddy was more of a bitch and had claimed it was from her. I just wasn't prepared to support my asinine decisions. 

"People don't do things like that!" Lucia yelled. I felt her anger wash over me. It took me by surprise and I took a step back. I was never good at being yelled at. My defenses kicked in.

"It made me feel good," I yelled back, "until now!" I finished with more venom than necessary. I regretted it as soon as I saw the change on Lucia's face. I thought she was about to cry, then she jumped back in her pickup and slammed the door. I took a few more steps back, for some reason I thought she intended to run me over. Instead, she drove off at an angry speed. I kicked myself for being an idiot. Just another reason to avoid people altogether. 

I didn't turn the music back on as I returned to the siding. My happiness was gone and I needed time to brood. Luckily, I could take it out on the old paint. I moved the ladder, climbed to the top and immediately pulled too hard on the power cord. It separated from the extension cord which fell to the ground. I was seething and almost threw the sander. Why did I pay off that infernal woman's debt? Why did I care if it pissed her off? I took a few deep breaths and climbed slowly down the ladder. I tied the two power cords together and then plugged the ends together. It would take more than a simple pull to separate them now. I then sat on my ass, in the grass, wondering why I was feeling like shit. 

It was fifteen minutes before I climbed the ladder again. This time I turned the music on and let Clapton change my mood. The work helped and I began to forget how badly I felt. The old paint soaked up the brunt of my self-disgust. I murdered years of paint layers as viciously as I could. It wasn't long before I was at least humming to the music again. I hoped I hadn't made Lucia cry.

It took all morning to complete that side of the house. It looked much better than the other sides I had done manually. I was contemplating whether I should redo the manual sides with the power sander when the red pickup returned. My stomach did a flip flop and the morning pains returned with the vehicle. I promised myself to remain civil and just get it over with. I would let her scream at me so it would end and I could get on with the rest of my life, what little I had of it. I paused the music and moved toward the pickup with trepidation. 

Lucia exited the truck with a picnic basket. Her eyes were red, but she was wearing a forced smile. I guessed she was finished yelling also. "I made you lunch," she said in an even tone. She was waiting for a response. 

"You don't owe me anything," I said stupidly. My mouth, once again, moved faster than my brain.

"Let me make you lunch," Lucia stammered, almost pleading. I saw the strain in her eyes. It was hurting her, my pretending that what I did didn't matter. My empathy kicked back at me. 

"Actually, I'm starving," I said and added a smile. Anything in that basket had to be better than the can of spaghetti I had planned to heat up. Lucia's face brightened noticeably and so did my mood. We moved to the porch steps, the closest thing to furniture I had. "This is my table right now, at least until I get the kitchen done," I apologized. 

"It's lovely," Lucia lied. She spread out a small cloth on the porch and set out plates, silverware and two cups. She added a wrapped sandwich on each plate and pulled out a round plastic tray with fresh cut carrots, broccoli and cauliflower. A small dish in the center contained what looked like ranch dressing. Lucia absently dipped a carrot and tossed it into her mouth as she pulled out a bottle of white wine. She handed me the bottle and a corkscrew. I went to work as she pulled out two carryout trays from Rusty's. "Diana said you liked the pie," Lucia said, almost daring me to deny it. 

"I love the pie," I responded happily, "and thank you for lunch." That got me a real smile. I worked at the cork as Lucia unwrapped the sandwiches. They were chicken salad and I could smell it was freshly made. I was hungrier than I thought. The cork popped free and I was inwardly proud I didn't spill any in the struggle to get it out. I filled the two plastic cups and lightly reseated the cork in the bottle before I put it down.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Lucia said, looking at the picnic layout instead of me, "I was confused and I didn't know what to say and it just came out."

"I yelled back, so we're even," I replied, trying to smooth the waters. I was never a good smoother. She took my comment well and looked at me with more comfort in her eyes. 

"Mama told me not to come out here, to just pretend I won the lottery," Lucia continued. I loved how she said 'Mama.' Her accent was very slight, but it came out more clearly when she used that word. "I tried to stop myself and I couldn't. I was angry with myself because I didn't know what to say when I got here. You gave me all that money and tried to tell me it doesn't matter - I just went a little crazy." I didn't want to talk about the money again. It was done in my mind, I was hoping she would let it go. 

"You tell your mama everything?" I asked as I took a bite out of the sandwich. "This is really good," I added rudely as I chewed. I got another smile. Lucia had a really big smile. One of those light-up-the-room smiles.

"Mama and I are close," Lucia replied. I could see the truth in her eyes. "It's just the three of us, and, now that Sophia is away at school, we are even closer. She wants me to quit dancing now, after what you did." I could see some stress in her. I had given her choices and she wasn't ready to make them. At least she wasn't trying to give the money back. 

"I agree with your mama," I stated. The wine was sweeter than I usually go for, but it fit with the sandwich and veggies. It would also make a good preamble for the pie. 

"I've never really done anything else," Lucia added. She was ignoring the food. I think the meal was basically made for me. "I don't even know how to pay you back." I almost choked on my last bite. I swallowed hard.

"The whole point is that you don't pay me back," I said, with as much compassion as I could muster, "you'll take the fun out of it if you try." I knew what was coming and I didn't have a pat answer. The truth would elicit pity. I needed a good lie.

"Why would you do this for me?" Lucia asked. I saw the concern in her eyes. 

"Look, I'm stinking rich and I can't spend it all, even if I wanted to." Half truths were better than bold face lies. "I don't really have any family. I would rather you and Sophia have a better life than let the government take it all in the end."

"You're really that rich?" Lucia asked, trying to justify it all in her mind. 

"Huge windfall this year. It let me quit my job and rehab this house," I said while spreading my hands wide apart to emphasize the huge part. I would have made a bad Rockefeller. I couldn't even give away money without making people upset. Lucia just nodded her head. I don't think she fully accepted it yet. She looked at the house, still in its dilapidated form. 

"And this is what you like to do?" Lucia asked, gesturing at the house. 

"It's my only dream," I admitted. It was actually my only feasible dream. Space travel was still too many years away. 

"I can paint," Lucia offered. Her eyes were on mine when she made the statement. The next idea that came into my head was really stupid. My next statement topped the stupidity chart. In my defense, her eyes were really pretty.

"Twenty-five dollars an hour and you forget about the loan," I stated firmly. 

"Done," Lucia answered with one of her big smiles. I knew this would bite me in the ass later and it was going to take a big chunk of skin, but now she had made me happy a third time. "I've never worked for a rich guy, do I need an evening dress to paint?" she asked with a big smattering of smart ass. I laughed.

"Jeans and a t-shirt you don't care about," I answered. Lucia started in on her sandwich as I continued with my second half. The rest of the lunch went peacefully. We talked about useless things like how long the weather would hold and other places to eat besides Rusty's. I took her on a tour of the house, explaining my vision of how it would look in each room. She was incredibly enthusiastic about the project and added in trim ideas that made sense to me. I've never shared a dream with someone who agreed with it. It enhanced the dream and made it all that much more doable. 

"I have to tell Maddy I quit and I will be here tomorrow at eight," Lucia said as she stuffed the remains of the lunch into the basket. 

"Tomorrow is Sunday," I stated, thinking she might need the day. 

"Oh, that's right," Lucia realized. "You're invited to dinner tomorrow. So we'll have to stop working by 5:00." She started toward her pickup. 

"Dinner?" I asked, desperately looking for clarification.

"Yep, with my mama and me," Lucia turned and walked backward as she spoke, "it's not negotiable so don't try to get out of it. I know you don't have any plans." I wondered who the boss was on this project. She turned around and literally skipped back to her truck. 

"See you tomorrow," I called as Lucia disappeared into the cab. For the here and now, hiring Lucia was the best decision I could have made. I grasped at the possibility of finishing the house quickly and moving on before the inevitable occurred. I could get that lucky. I looked at the front of the house. I decided then, that since I now had another painter, spending the time to go over the manual sanding with the power sander made total sense. I spent the afternoon doing just that. There was no sense in an uneven job. 

Lucia arrived a little before 8:00. She was incredibly cheerful. She wore some baggy white denim painter pants and an old faded gray t-shirt. Her hair was once again pulled tight behind her head, this time tied in a ponytail with the top wrapped in a scarf. I was barely awake when she entered. I had overslept and was pleased when she decided to make some coffee first. That blessed electric power had paid off again. I had to admit she filled out a pair of painter pants quite well. 

"Where should we start?" Lucia asked with way too much joy in her voice. She was certainly more pleasant to look at than the drab walls. I had to smile at her unbridled enthusiasm. 

"Outside," I answered, "got to get it done before the cold weather sets in." I had purchased some exterior primer and had it colored as close to the final light brown as I could get. I was going to try to get by with only two coats, one primer and one final. I figured we could start on a side and work our way to the front once we set a good pattern. 

It only took us a half-hour to get the gear set up to start painting. When Lucia bent down I had to look away. She really made those pants look good. I used the ladder and she started on the ground. Every time I reached down to dip my brush, I got a good view of her taking long strokes along the horizontal wooden slats. I could swear she wasn't wearing a bra. Her breasts were always a split second behind the movement of her chest and bounced back when her chest stopped. It was a very distracting visage and my eyes seemed to be in a fight with my morals. 

By the time we finished the first side, I was sure she was bra-less. I could even clearly make out her nipples from time to time. I had painted the whole side half aroused. I wasn't sure if I should be enjoying painting so much. We stepped back to admire our handiwork.

"You missed a couple of spots. There and there." Lucia pointed out. Sure enough, I had. 

"Damn, I wonder how that happened?" I asked as I looked at the spots that were so blatant from this vantage point. 

"You spent most of your time staring at my tits," Lucia stated with one of her big smiles. 

"Yes, they were most distracting," I agreed, knowing I wasn't as sly as I thought. I hefted the ladder back to the one of the spots. "I thought I was being a bit less obvious about it."

"I knew you liked them so I kept them loose," Lucia said seriously. I looked over at her and saw the staidness in her face. 

"You know, the loan and your pay, it doesn't mean..." I stuttered for the right words, "it doesn't obligate...this isn't a strip club." 

"I know." Lucia smiled. "I liked you looking, it pleases me." She grabbed a brush, dipped it and started to climb the ladder. "Hold the ladder," she instructed. I wasn't sure what to say to that. I guess it was in the nature of a stripper to show off. When I looked up, she leaned and started to touch up a spot I missed. I could see straight up her t-shirt to the bottom of her wondrous globes. 

"Truly beautiful," I stated clearly. Lucia just kept painting with more exaggerated strokes. I helped her down and shared a smile. I moved the ladder and she repeated the process on my other mistake. 

"Tomorrow the plumber is coming," I said when Lucia descended again. I figured she might want to be more conservative. I knew I wanted her to be more modest. I still had that unwarranted jealousy thing. 

"If you behave yourself with Mama." Lucia smiled. "I won't tempt the plumber." 

"Blackmail?" I questioned, "you're resorting to blackmail? What do you think I would say to your mother?" 

"Just be nice," Lucia reminded me sweetly. I wondered briefly if she would show up naked tomorrow if I was rude to her mama. I smiled inwardly at my thoughts. 

We were able to get the back of the house primed before we had to call it a day. We were expected at Lucia's mother's house at 6:00 and we both needed to clean up. Lucia surprised me by having a change of clothes and some toiletries in her pickup. We took turns sharing the one bathroom with its dribbling shower. She wasn't used to the lack of hot water like I was. It tends to speed up your shower dramatically. Hopefully, that could be one of the first things the plumber can correct. 

I was astonished when Lucia walked out of the bathroom. Her raven hair was flowing freely down her shoulders, across a white blouse. She was a wearing a pleated white skirt that reached to her ankles, tied off with a brown woven hemp belt that was cocked lower on the right side. She was simply stunning to look at. 

"I used all the hot water," Lucia joked. I just stared at her transformation. She smiled when she noticed. "Todd...Shower," she reminded me. I collected my drooling brain and took over the bathroom. The vision of her stayed with me even in the cold water. The thought I wasn't really dating her, but meeting her mother was disconcerting. I felt myself emotionally drifting toward her. Physically, I knew I was attracted to her, but I thought I could keep her at arm's length emotionally. How do you stop something you really don't want to stop? 

The best I could do was khakis and a blue polo shirt. It seemed a bit plain set against Lucia's attractive attire, but she seemed pleased. I made a point of opening the car door for her. There is something about a well-dressed woman that makes you want to be more manly. We men all know we should open doors, but it had been a long time since I had rushed ahead to make sure I did it. She seemed to accept it in stride. 




The Rehab



I was lectured on the way. Lucia's mother wasn't extremely religious, but taking the Lord's name in vain was forbidden. Swearing in general was frowned upon. Lucia had worked as a dancer - not a stripper - although she assured me her mother knew exactly what the Pleasure Palace was. I was not to bring up Lucia's father - not even to Lucia it seemed. For some reason, I was to also stay away from any topics that might drift toward the annexation of Texas from Mexico in the eighteen hundreds. I guess Mama held strong opinions on the subject. Fully briefed, we pulled up in front of a small, one-story home nestled in what looked like a nice family neighborhood. 

I hustled around the car to open Lucia's door. She was calmly waiting for me to do so and smiled when I did. I was beginning to wonder if there was anything I wouldn't do to earn that smile. I already knew things were getting out of control and I kicked myself for letting them. 

Mama was waiting at the door. She was a little shorter than Lucia, but had the same thick black hair. Mama carried a bit more weight, but with dignity and grace. She was wearing a flowered dress covered by a white apron. God help me, her smile matched her daughter's. The two hugged like they hadn't seen each other in years. I almost felt like I was forgotten until Lucia finally introduced me.

"Mama, this is Todd Keystone." Lucia said my name proudly. It was uncomfortable to be presented in that way. I sensed some kind of permanence in Lucia's tone.

"Hello," I said, holding out my hand. Mama took my hand and pulled me in for a hug. I was surprised at the warmth of it. It was like we had known each other for years. I hugged back, what else do you do once you're embraced like that? 

"Jur aunt Maria called; she on phone in bedroom," Mama said to Lucia with a strong accent, "go say hola, Todd help me in kitchen." Lucia reluctantly headed to the back of the house. Mama grabbed my hand and drew me into the kitchen. She turned to me with a very serious look on her face. 

"Why ju give my Lucia money?" Mama asked. I could see she wasn't angry, yet. I looked back at the direction Lucia had gone, hoping she would come and save me. "Maria keep Lucia busy why we talk," Mama continued, knowing I was stalling. 

"She seemed to need it," I answered without confidence, "I tried to do it anonymously. I was just giving her more choices." I shrugged my shoulders knowing it was a weak explanation. "She chased me down after. I really didn't mean to see her again." Mama was searching my face with her eyes. "When I sensed she was afraid to make a choice, I offered the painting job to her. The whole thing kind of snowballed. Honestly, it made me happy to help, although there were some uncomfortable moments." Mama looked into my eyes.

"I believe ju," Mama stated. She reached up with both hands and pulled my cheek to her lips and kissed me. "That for stopping Lucia dancing." She released me with a smile. I smiled back, sharing the nice moment. She turned to the stove where a few pots were steaming. She lifted the lid on a pot and began to stir the contents with a wooden spoon.

"How long it take ju to fix house?" Mama asked as she tasted the sauce and then added additional spice.

"I'm not sure, maybe four months with Lucia's help," I replied, wishing I knew where this was going. 

"After it done, ju leave?" Mama asked. I cringed. This is the part I had been ignoring. The part I hoped would solve itself, although I knew it couldn't. I was thankful she was watching the pots and not my face. 

"Yes," I answered, not wanting to elaborate. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter.

"Ju leave my Lucia?" Mama didn't hesitate with the follow up. I could hear the concern in her voice. There was a tenseness about her stance.

"Yes," I said quietly. For some reason, lying didn't even occur to me. Mama's shoulders slumped and she turned back to me.

"Lucia not dress like this for nobody," Mama whispered, wagging the spoon at me, "she never bring nobody to see me." My heart felt thick. Everything had already spiraled out of control, and I just didn't see it coming. "Ju tell her soon. Okay?" The anguish was overpowering. 

"I'll try," I whispered back. I think Mama saw my pain and her face went all confused. 

"Why ju leave if you feel like that?" Mama asked. God, the woman could read my mind. I had no response to offer her. Nothing I wished to share. I also couldn't lie.

"I have to," I stated firmly, "it's not something I have any control over." Mama gave me a strange look and then her face firmed up. She thought about it a moment, then nodded her head.

"Ju tell her nice, no mean," Mama whispered, the spoon still ready, "in jur own time." At least I could promise her that. I was about to agree when she poked her head out of the kitchen and yelled down the hall, "Lucia, tell jur aunt call back. Ju have guest here." I guess agreement was a foregone conclusion. 

The dinner was a very cordial affair. Lucia was all smiles and Mama seemed to love seeing Lucia happy. The food was excellent - a Mexican-influenced sausage medley with some really tasty brown rice. Mama seemed overjoyed when I had three helpings. I thought I was being a pig. It's just that you don't know when you will get food like that again. 

I had to excuse myself, after dessert, to use the bathroom. When I returned, Lucia's face was glowing. They had obviously been talking about something, quite possibly me. I tried to get a hint from Mama's face, but it was unreadable. I let it go, since neither decided to include me in the discussion. 

When we left, Mama hugged me away from Lucia. "Ju be nice," she whispered and kissed my cheek. I nodded, moved to the car and again made sure I opened the door for Lucia. I had dug a deep hole, I realized that now. Lucia's smile was making me dig it deeper. 

"Mama likes you," Lucia said proudly, "she thinks you're honest and a good person. I already told her that, but now she believes me." I felt my stomach turn over. I grinned at the compliment and struggled for a new topic. 

"Your mother sure can cook," I chimed in with a slight change in topic. "That sausage thing was something else; I don't think I've had anything like it before." 

"What did Mama want to talk to you about?" Lucia asked curiously. I guess the phone call didn't fool her.

"She was just looking out for you." I squirmed away from the truth. Lucia smiled and accepted it on face value. 

"So, did you like her?" Lucia asked.

"Absolutely, she's wonderful," I said honestly. Lucia beamed and I realized I just dug myself in a little deeper. I think I had just reached some important milestone for Lucia. 

I pulled into my driveway apprehensively. Mama was right, I had tell Lucia. I wasn't sure when and she was way too happy to tell her tonight. Maybe in a day or two, when the euphoria wore down a bit. 

I stepped out of the car and Lucia waited, smiling, for me to open the door. I, of course, did. She looked incredible and so alive. I wished things were different. Of course, if they were, I would be in bed waiting to wake up to another week of my old shitty job. She moved toward me when I closed the car door.

"I want to spend the night," Lucia said warmly. I wanted to say yes so badly it hurt. I thought about how deep I was in already and knew her staying was the worst idea ever. 

"I only have a mattress on the floor, and it's not really that comfortable," I said, trying to discourage her. I prayed she would take the hint. 

"I want to spend the night," Lucia repeated with that deadly smile. I took a deep breath and let it out. She ran her hand lightly along the side of my face. 

"I'm not really ready for a relationship," I stated weakly. Lucia brightened her smile and kissed my lips. They were as soft as I remembered. Like an idiot, I kissed her back. 

"Just tonight," Lucia whispered, "no commitment; just tonight." I caved as she kissed me again. I wrapped her in my arms and let her false logic steer my thoughts. Once I had let go, I was gone. The rest of the world disappeared and there was only this incredibly beautiful woman and me floating through time. 

Lucia giggled and grabbed my hand. We practically ran to the dining room, or where the dining room will be when the work was done. Now it housed my mattress and two suitcases full of clothes. It was the only room with curtains. Lucia grabbed the few candles I hadn't used since the power came on. She placed them around the room and I followed behind, lighting them. We doused the 60-watt in the ceiling, and suddenly the room had atmosphere.

Lucia, unceremoniously, began undressing. I followed suit, kicking off my shoes and lifting the shirt over my head. She laughingly threw her bra at me. I fell over trying to catch it while pulling my leg out of my pants at the same time. She tackled me while I was down, her breasts smashing into my chest. I stopped undressing as our lips merged and passion took over. 

I rolled Lucia on her back and smothered her neck with kisses as I inched my way down to her breasts. I moved quickly, since she seemed to be in a hurry. My lips found the top of her left breast and I tickled my way down her flesh with my tongue. Her nipples were taut and her happy moans encouraged me. I circled the left nipple with my tongue, then encircled it with my lips. I got a giggle from Lucia so I sucked it in a bit more and attacked it with my tongue. She laughed and tried to push my head away. Someone was ticklish. 

I lifted my head with a proud smile. Lucia, laughing, was pushing her skirt down her legs. I lifted to my knees, my pants still half on, and helped her. I separated her skirt from her legs and tossed it aside. She had her panties half way off and I helped with them also. She lay naked before me, smiling in the candlelight. 

"Absolutely gorgeous," I complimented as I drank in Lucia. I ran my hands slowly up her thighs and bent down to kiss her belly. She spread her legs around me and gently pushed my head lower. Her hands weren't hesitant, her need evident. I lay down between her legs and let her guide my head to their apex. My nose was met with a wonderful musky scent as my lips brushed against her moistness. I kissed her there, at the top of her nether lips, where her bud protruded beyond its hood. 

"Yes," Lucia moaned. Her hands left my head and she spread her legs farther apart. Her movements slowed for the first time since we had left the car. I dropped lower and ran my tongue along her opening, barely parting her lips. I felt her shudder and heard a deep intake of breath. I repeated, exploring deeper, tasting her oily sweetness. She was wetter than I had expected, her desire had driven her haste. I brought my tongue to her clit and lightly teased it. I was rewarded with more moans and an arching back. 

I brought my hand between Lucia's legs and gently coaxed a finger, then two, inside. I used slow motions, guided by the moans and shudders they caused. There was no resistance to the invasion so I went deeper, caressing the inside of her channel. I returned my attention to her bud, licking teasingly as I slowly moved my fingers in and out. I continued until I felt her open more and her pelvis push back. Her breathing was becoming erratic and I knew more pressure was desired. 

My tongue dragged hard and quickly across Lucia's fully-exposed button as my fingers massaged the inside of her opening. Her legs lifted her pelvis and her hands returned to my head. I continued the attention on her clit and my fingers tried to meet it from inside. Lucia's thighs tightened and she emitted a deep, low moan as she pushed my head harder against her pussy. I felt a shiver run through her and then her pelvis lifted even higher as her whole body shook. Tremors racked her body in time with my tongue and Lucia yelled out. I continued my assault until she gently guided my head away and her hips relaxed with a loud gasp. 

"Wonderful," Lucia sighed. I looked up to see her smiling in the candlelight, all her intensity sated away. She guided me along her body and kissed me deeply, ignoring where my face had just been. I was rolled to my side and Lucia sat up to finish removing my pants and boxers. She lay down, softly massaging my erection. 

"I like you more than you want," Lucia said without warning, her smile trying to make light of the statement. Her hand was caressing, but not urging. I was responding with small tremors anyway. I wanted to respond, to tell her how much more I wanted, but I couldn't and I couldn't lie. I said nothing, which in and of itself, was a lie. She must have seen the trauma in my face. Her smile disappeared and she kissed me deeply as she rolled me on my back. "It's okay," she said softly as she mounted me. My stress melted away as I disappeared inside her. Her warmth filled me and my eyes watered as I realized I might love her. She leaned down, moving her hips slowly, "It's okay," she whispered again. I pulled her close so she couldn't see my tears and I trembled beneath her. I climaxed in a slow mixture of pain and passion. Lucia held me as I hated myself for loving her. 

I awoke late the next day. Much later than late. The sun was already high in the sky and I heard a drill in the basement. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, noticing Lucia was already gone. I followed the noise down the rickety stairs and into the basement. Lucia was handing a copper pipe to tall, thin guy wearing overalls. She smiled seeing me coming down. 

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Lucia called as the plumber relieved her of the pipe. I smiled back, halfheartedly. "Tom wants to trench a new line from the main," she said, pointing at the plumber. 

"It looks like someone ran a thin plastic line in a few years back," Tom said while pushing the copper through the hole he just drilled, "it's no longer code and will only cause you problems in the future. I can trench and lay a new one tomorrow. I don't think we could get the new meter without doing that."

"Do it," I said, nodding to Lucia. She looked like she was having fun. I was happy to see she had fully encased her breasts today. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw it was 10:30. 'Shit!' 

"I tried to wake you, but you were pretty beat," Lucia said with a wink the plumber didn't see. I smiled, pretending to see the humor. Sleepiness wasn't supposed to happen until later. I let it slide. Maybe it would be like the headaches and be infrequent. 

We spent the day assisting Tom. We were both invested in seeing a hot water heater got turned on as soon as possible. It turned out Tom was an excellent choice, his brother was the water inspector for the county. That meant there would be minimal delays between installation and inspection. We opened some walls to run piping to the second floor and replaced the old pipes to the first floor. It was dark when we stopped and Tom left, saying he would be back early in the morning with a backhoe. 

Lucia spent that night and the next with me again. I hid the truth and shared my passion. My hole was so deep, there was no ladder long enough to allow me to climb out. I made her no promises, but she inferred a lot and I had stopped dissuading. It was Friday when the pain in my head returned with a vengeance. I left that afternoon, lying to Lucia about having to go to the bank. I, instead, went to the hospital. There was a hospice care unit with a counselor who was recommended to me. I was lost and I had to speak to someone. For the first time in my life, I needed to confide and seek advice. Someone who understood at least part of what was happening. 

"So, she doesn't know?" Doctor Collins clarified. He had hair that was a little too dark and a little too full for his age. I suspected he might be a little vain.

"No and I am afraid my symptoms are getting worse," I said, trying to give him the whole picture. He looked down at the copy of my file the previous doctor sent. 

"Think about what would happen if you don't wake up one day," Doctor Collins said, "she finds you, not knowing why. Think how she will feel when she finds out." He paused a moment to let that sink in. "You were dealt a shitty hand, Todd. Luckily, you have time to choose how you want to finish, but you aren't letting her choose at all."

"I know...I know," I stammered, "I need to know how to tell her. It hurts just thinking about it." 

"I wish there was an easy way," the doctor said, "we can do it for you if you ask, although that rarely works out well. There will be tears and anger, that I can promise you. You will have to be blunt or she will think you are joking - no one sees this coming." I closed my eyes, knowing I couldn't let this go on much longer. I came here to build my nerve. Experts had a way of solidifying what needed to be done. I came away with no new knowledge, only becoming more resolute about what had to be done. I had already fucked up trying to keep Lucia at arm's length; now I had to pay the price. It was going to be very expensive. 

Doctor Collins was showing me out the door, trying to remain supportive. It was his job and he was good at it. "Camilla, I'm finished for the day," the doctor said pleasantly to the cleaning lady who was waiting outside the offices. I recognized the responding voice immediately, and I nearly vomited as she turned. I would have rather died five minutes ago. 

"Todd...what?" Mama's eyes were flashing between Doctor Collins and me. I couldn't speak, I had no words. Doctor Collins quickly assessed part of what was happening. 

"Camilla, there are privacy concerns here," the doctor stated clearly. I assumed I had just put her job at risk. Now I was fucking up a whole family. 

"This what ju no can control?" Mama yelled, ignoring the doctor and pointing at the 'Hospice' sign on his door. I saw her eyes straining, a mix of anger and fear. 

"Camilla, we don't..." I cut off the doctor. I was in so deep I might as well pull the dirt on top of me. 

"Lucia's mother," I informed the doctor quietly. His eyes went wide and I saw a mixture of concern and compassion as he shifted his look between Mama and me. 

"Use my office," the doctor judiciously offered. He held the door open and I entered, praying Mama wouldn't follow. God didn't listen and I heard the door close. Painfully, I turned to face Mama. There were tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"She love ju," Mama choked out, "she know you maybe not stay, but she not know why." Mama held back a sob. "She think she change jur mind. This tear her heart away." Mama fell apart in front of me. I did the only thing I could do; I held her and tried to remain strong. It was hopeless. 

"I'm sorry," I quietly apologized, "I wasn't strong enough to stop it. I kept putting it off and it only got worse. I wish I never walked into that club." Mama broke out of my arms. 

"No," Mama stated firmly, "she not dance no more." It was firm in Mama's mind, something that would never change. "She not owe that lady money. Ju did that. Never ju take back." Mama wiped her eyes. "She better off even if God call you." She was nodding her head as she wrapped her mind around the problem. She raised up on her toes and kissed my cheek. "Ju tell her...today or I am." It wasn't a threat, it was a mother protecting her child. I responded the only way I could. 

"Yes, Mama," I answered. My stomach was already doing flip flops in response to the task.

"Go," Mama instructed, "I have office to clean and I think better when I clean." It was an awful ride home. Incredibly too short. 

One time, at fourteen, my parents had left me home alone for the weekend. Like a typical young man, I tried to impress a girl by taking her for a ride in my mother's car. Inevitably, I smashed in the front quarter panel while attempting to park. No license and no way to explain how I knew where they hid the keys. Until this day, I had thought waiting for them to get home was the worst moment in my life. I knew now, that episode was a cake walk. 




The Rehab



Lucia was humming to herself as she repaired the plaster in what would become the family room. We were working from room to room, repairing the necessary damage done by the new wiring and plumbing. I hated that she was so happy. I was breathing heavily as I entered the room. My pulse was through the roof. 

"Have fun at the bank?" Lucia asked naively. The lies were done; only pain was left.

"I lied, I didn't go to the bank," I responded, trying to remain calm and level. I thought I might throw up. Lucia paused her plastering for a moment, not looking at me.

"Oh?" Lucia responded after a second. She returned to her repairs. I sensed she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear more. I guess I wasn't as calm and level as I thought. 

"I saw your mama at the hospital," I said, inching forward. I was stalling again and hated myself for it.

"You visited Mama?" Lucia asked. She still wasn't looking at me and the plastering was getting quicker and sloppier. I sucked it up, and out it came. 

"I have a tumor," I stated bluntly, "I've known for a while. It's incurable, six months maybe a year." I no longer wanted to vomit. I wanted to shoot myself. Lucia just kept plastering, never turning to look at me. She was plastering over what was already done. "Lucia?" I pleaded. 

When Lucia turned I thought I would die. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She dropped her trowel, the mud pan and ran. I didn't have the heart to chase after. I heard her pickup start and leave at a high speed. I closed my eyes and prayed she would find her way safely to Mama. I no longer wanted the house or my six months. I called Mama. 

"She left," I said quickly, "I don't think she's coming back."

"I sorry, Todd," Mama said, "I so sorry." I knew what she meant. She was sorry for everything I had just lost. I hung up the phone, never saying goodbye. I was back to knowing no one. I could always pay Doctor Collins for another hour. I could talk end-of-life at a hundred dollars an hour. 

"Fuck me!" I yelled at the world. I returned to a dream I no longer cared about. At least it had an end game. Tasks that needed doing. Something is better than nothing. I picked up the trowel, mud pan and went to work. I didn't sleep that night, but all the rooms were repaired. 

My heart was hurting when the sun came up. I packed away the plaster and cleaned the tools. Everywhere I went in the house, I kept expecting to see Lucia humming away. I distracted myself by calling a window company. The leech was at the house two hours later. I had a friend until I handed him the check. It was pitiful how I hemmed and hawed and stalled about models and quantities. I ended up picking the wood framed, double hung windows. What did I care about long term maintenance? They looked the best and went with the character of the house. My new buddy, Frank, went around measuring. He promised that all except the bathroom windows would be replaced on Monday. The bathroom windows were an odd dimension and required special milling. 

I handed Frank my check and away went my newest friend. I spent the day painting the porch. I decided (Actually it was Lucia's suggestion.) the uprights needed a lighter color than the rest of the exterior. When I was done, I realized I had added even more of her to the house. She was right, more character and more charming. God, I missed her. 

I spent Sunday tearing out the old kitchen floor. Someone, long ago, had installed some type of linoleum, that had long-since yellowed, and they had used copious amounts of glue. I ended up replacing the plywood flooring. Strangely, I couldn't match the thickness of the old boards so none of them could be saved. I put the tile sample that Lucia had picked on the floor. I measured the floor and decided to pick up the tiles on Tuesday. Lucia would own the kitchen as well. I slept that night.

It was the pounding that woke me the next morning. I looked at my phone. It was almost 10:00. Damn, I had overslept again. I realized the window company installers must be frantic. I quickly dressed and headed to the door. I was surprised to see them already in the house, one guy was pounding on a shim while checking a level, while another window was being hoisted in place by another worker. I thought I must have left the door unlocked. The workers nodded at me, but basically ignored my confused look. I headed out the door, looking for the supervisor. 

The supervisor was at the back of his truck, arguing with prettiest sight in the world. I stood stunned as Lucia refused two of the windows. The seals had already been compromised and there was no way they were going in the house. I stared as the supervisor gave in and placed them back on the truck, promising new ones when the bathroom windows came in at the end of the week. Lucia saw me then, standing on her porch. Her face was questioning. I smiled and the world lit up with hers. She walked up to me as I stood stupidly, trying to figure out what it meant for her to be here. "I want the year," Lucia said. I closed the distance and pulled her to me. 

"It's already yours," I said. We kissed under a deluge of whistles from the installers. They would never understand what Lucia had given me. Her heart was more valuable than a hundred homes, more precious than a full life. She was my happiness and I prayed I could be hers.

"I need to speak with Doctor Collins," Lucia said softly, combing her fingers through my hair. I loved her touch. I loved her just being here. "He won't talk to me without your permission." 

"I'll tell you anything you want to know," I said hesitantly. I was not enamored with the idea, but I couldn't hide anything any more. She smiled at me. I would jump off a cliff for that smile.

"I need to know everything, even the bad parts you won't tell me," Lucia said carefully. I felt like the supervisor putting the windows back on the truck. It was a one-sided negotiation and the only way to win was to surrender. I conceded. I sat down on the steps and called Doctor Collins' office. 

Lucia was a designer possessed. For an ex-stripper, she had a commanding sense of style. If I had my way, I would have painted the whole interior one neutral color. I thought back to that first night at the Pleasure Palace, when I desired one thing and she slowly turned it into what I really needed. Why this woman wasn't commanding armies of thralls, I had no idea. I simply followed her around the house as she chose colors. I nodded my agreement, writing down her decisions and taping small paper paint samples to the text. There was little doubt she would own every room. 

That night, Lucia surrendered to me. I made love to her at my speed, the way I desired and she simply enjoyed it. I was slow and methodical, memorizing every square inch of her by touch. Her smells, her sounds, her passion and that lovely smile were mine. I fully lost myself that night. She and I became us and us became everything. 

Surprisingly, I woke before Lucia the next morning. I watched her sleep with her thick hair bunched up in odd directions. It was incredibly peaceful watching her chest slowly rise and fall with every breath. I was guilty of allowing her to watch me die. It was so incredibly selfish. She was the love of my short, remaining life. 

I sneaked slowly out of bed, trying to let her sleep. I dressed quietly and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed the coffee carafe and filled it with water from the bathroom. I really had to get cabinets and a sink in the kitchen. I smiled to myself as I started the coffee machine on the plywood floor. So much still needed to be done, and I really didn't care if it ever got finished. The doing was more important than the finishing. As long as Lucia was here, I never wanted it finished. I loved working with her and finishing would end that. I wanted what we had now to be my forever. I was so damn selfish. 

"That smells wonderful," a sleepy voice said from the doorway. I looked up from my seat on the unfinished floor. Lucia was leaning on the door frame, the weak morning sun just breaking through the window to her left. Her hair was an utter mess and her smile was subtle. 

"You are absolutely gorgeous," I admired. Lucia's t-shirt stopped about mid thigh and really highlighted her naked legs. She smiled and sat cross legged next to me as I poured her a cup of coffee. She traded her phone for the cup. There was a text from Mama, 'Dinner at 6, no late.' "A dinner invitation," I commented.

"A summons," Lucia corrected, with a bit laughter. 

"I would love to," I said joyfully. Lucia leaned forward, rat's nest and all, and kissed me. Mama was everything to Lucia so Mama was very important to me. I wondered how my life would have been different if my parents hadn't died so young or if I had married and had a family of my own. I tossed the thought aside. Lucia was my now and my forever.

We spent the day shopping. We picked up tile, glue, grout, tools and quite a few gallons of paint. We coordinated with a cabinet company to come out the next day to measure the kitchen and bathrooms. Lucia was keeping it all straight in her head. A beautifully efficient brain was operating under all that hair. I told her so and she just blushed and playfully told me to shut up. She had no idea of her strong organizational skills. I think she fed off my confidence and just kept imagining it was mostly my doing. 

In the middle of our shopping spree, Lucia's phone rang. It was Sophia and Lucia's face lit up as she sat down on a bench outside a home store. I saw Lucia's attention disappear into the phone and I smiled. I leaned down and kissed her forehead and signaled to meet me inside the store when she was done. Lucia absently acknowledged me with a smile and wave of her hand. No matter how much we meant to each other, I would be second-fiddle to her daughter. I could live, and die, with that. 

I was in the lighting aisle trying to choose ceiling fixtures when Lucia returned with a bounce in her step. I don't think she realized she had been on the phone for over forty-five minutes. 

"What do you think...for the entry hall?" I asked, holding up an enclosed glass fixture with brass trim. Lucia looked for moment, and I could almost see her brain trying to imagine it in the small entryway.

"I think indirect would be better," Lucia reflected, "it would be warmer and more friendly." She was right, of course, something without visible bulbs would be nicer. We spent some time and chose a light for the entryway and two externals for the porch. She wanted to shop elsewhere for the other rooms since nothing jumped out as perfect. 

"I haven't told Sophia about you yet," Lucia admitted while we waited in line to check out. She was leaning into me, comfortably. I thought about it for a moment. I wondered why that didn't bother me. I would be just a blip to Sophia, a hello and then a goodbye. 

"You shouldn't," I stated, after a short pause, "she has enough to worry about in life." The only thing I could offer Sophia was pain. Possibly anger if she resented my selfishness with her mother. It was best for her, and Lucia, if we never met.

"It won't bother you?" Lucia asked with concern. She almost looked like she was the one with the short lifespan. I smiled at her loving balancing act. Sophia on one side and me on the other. 

"It would cause her nothing but pain," I said carefully, "I never want to be the cause of that. I have already been too selfish with you." Lucia welled up a bit and hugged me close, almost knocking me into a battery display. 

"I love you," Lucia whispered. It hurt when she said it. I had already known it, but having it out there in the open was both joyous and chastising. I had linked her to my demise. I was going to cause her tremendous pain and I was way too weak to let her go. I needed her more than the house. I needed her more than another fifty years. 

"I love you too," I whispered back. An interrupting cough from the cashier broke our kiss. We were holding up the line. 

The hot water heater was man's greatest invention. It allowed me to linger in the shower with Lucia. Washing her was an absolute delight. I spent time washing her hair, something she enjoyed very much. I found her breasts to be filthy, at least that was my excuse. The experience wound her up tightly and she forced me, laughing, to lie down in the tub. It was slippery, uncomfortable and so very wonderful when she lowered herself onto me. It was blissfully slow, her grinding into me as warm water caressed us both. I was her prisoner, trapped between the tub's sides and unable to move. She seemed to like the control and teased me as she took her pleasure. I followed her to the clouds, only seconds after her tremors incited me. I made a mental note to replace the old tub with a wider one. 

Mama was waiting at the door when we arrived. We had to park in the street since there were already two cars in the driveway. I knew one belonged to Doctor Collins. Lucia had said he would be here. I knew why and I didn't hold it against her. This was something I couldn't stop and I knew it was necessary. 

Mama was smiling when she embraced me. I felt her love as she held me and told me she was glad I was here. It surprised me, after what I was subjecting her daughter to. I was expecting a colder reception. I returned it in kind which seemed to please Mama and her daughter which, in turn, pleased me. I wasn't used to that type of greeting; it seemed foreign in some way. Once inside I saw Doctor Collins and what looked like a colleague of his.

"You padding the bill, Doc?" I asked good humoredly. Doctor Collins laughed as he rose. We shook hands.

"This is Doctor Pierce, a neurologist," Collins introduced me to the thirty-something doctor wearing jeans and a polo, all of it designer. "Camilla has offered a barter." Collins smiled. "Dinner in exchange for consultation." 

"That and the Director told us to be here," Pierce stated with a smile, nodding toward Mama.

"I have much power," Mama said with a sly smile. I guessed working 30 years for the same organization begets benefits not given to the average employee. 

Mama's dinner was as excellent as that last time. She had prepared steak drizzled with a wonderfully spicy cheese topping. Sided with julienne potatoes and lightly-seasoned, steamed broccoli. I would have had thirds again, but someone had invited two hungry doctors. I felt a bit jealous when Mama served them seconds. I was selfish that way.

Over coffee, the inevitable conversation began. I had heard it all before and really didn't relish a rehash. Doctor Collins was the first to spot my reluctance. He, of course, was used to these conversations.

"Can we take this to the front room?" Collins asked, looking at Mama. She looked at me and nodded. Lucia was looking a little confused.

"I've heard it before," I said quietly to Lucia, "we'll talk after." She saw my apprehension and kissed me on the cheek. Everyone but Mama picked up their coffees and headed to the front room.

"Ju know how do dishes?" Mama asked. She knew enough to take my mind off the conversation. I stood and started collecting plates.

"Of course," I replied with a smile. Mama went to set up the sink as I collected the dishes and silverware.

"She need to know," Mama said, handing me a freshly washed plate to dry. I ran a towel across its base and around the rim. 

"I know," I replied, "it's just not a fun conversation." Mama nodded while handing me another dish.

"We be there when God call," Mama said clearly. The word 'we' struck hard. Now I've dragged two people into my private cesspool. I didn't mean to suck her into this. I looked at her as she dipped another plate in the soapy water. 

"I didn't..." Mama cut me off with her hand.

"Lucia make her choice," Mama clarified, "ju family now." I tried to say something, anything, but nothing came out. I just stared at her, dumbfounded. This wasn't my choice to make. It never was. I had dug my hole too deep. 

"Lucia love you. She not dancing. I see dreams in eyes." Mama was tearing up. "I sorry, I no can help what God do." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "I know we want ju here." I stood there, like an idiot, just staring at her. How could she even think I was anything but a problem?

"That house thing," Mama continued, talking with her hands, "that all she talk about. How ju two do this and that. How jur building something. She not thought that way since Sophia born. Now she happy. Ju do that." Mama grabbed my arms with her wet hands. "She need ju, even if it a little while. I think ju need Lucia too." I wrapped my arms around her.

"More than you will ever know," I whispered. I had only considered how bad I was for Lucia. I didn't know her before to see how she had changed. "It will be hard later," I reminded Mama.

"Ju just love Lucia. The family deal with after," Mama said and returned to the dishes after wiping her eyes. "That what families do," she added. It struck me then, looking a Lucia's mom, there were steps I could take to guarantee Lucia would have choices. A future of her own choosing, beyond the transient me. I would never see a dime of Social Security, but Lucia might collect. I smiled at the thought. I was adding up the unspent portions of my 401(k) in my head. The value of the house, the stock in the brokerage firm and the cash still in the bank all made a pretty healthy sum. There's no point in a cousin I hadn't seen in twenty years getting it. 

"Lucia needs to marry me," I said, smiling. Mama looked up at my face with her own sly grin. She had thought the same thing. From anyone else I would have thought it nefarious. With Mama, it was calculated love. An obvious solution for maintaining a path for Lucia. Mama's wet hands grabbed my cheeks and she kissed me on the lips.

"Ju make wonderful son," Mama stated with sincerity. 

"You are a wonderful mother," I said conspiratorially. Mama smiled as we returned to the dishes. It's funny how a few thoughts can change one's mood. I went from trepidation to euphoria in a matter of moments. I always knew I would give Lucia the house. I was just slow to see the rest. Suddenly, money had value again. 

I was putting up the last of dishes while Mama was telling me young Lucia stories. I got the picture of a fairly wild girl with little fear. She must have been a terror to raise, but Mama remembered those times fondly. I guess that was the spark Mama saw now. The lack of fear and the certainty of being correct. Lucia had basically taken over the rehab, at least in spirit. Her decisions were now steering the project and setting the timeline. Mama had her daughter back. I was going to ensure Mama could keep her. 

I was laughing at one of the stories when Lucia came into the kitchen. She looked at Mama and 'said' something unspoken. Mama just stood up, kissed her and left the room. Lucia straddled me in the chair, her hands behind my neck.

"You won't fight it?" Lucia asked. The doctors must have told her about the chancy treatments. I had dropped those ideas quickly. The odds were lottery-sized and meant spending most of my time sick in a hospital bed. Not my vision of end-of-life. 

"No," I said simply. 

"Doctor Pierce agrees with you," Lucia said as her eyes got cloudy, "The headache part scares me. They said it would be painful." I couldn't help her much with that. 

"I will get through it. I have to," I said simply. 

"We will get through it," Lucia reiterated, "because we have to." She leaned in closely to my ear and whispered, "Doctor Pierce seemed to think sex might help." Whatever Doctor Pierce charged for his services, it wasn't nearly enough. 

"He did not." I smiled. 

"Well, I did ask, and he said it couldn't hurt," Lucia said with her million dollar smile. Her face went serious again. "It's better that I know. Thank you for letting me know." I kissed her then. She was right, it was better there wouldn't be any surprises. Nothing I had to hopelessly try to hide. 




The Rehab



The harvest festival occurred that weekend. I had never been to one, and since Diana had guilted me into going, I dragged Lucia with me. She was apprehensive, her history with the town was skewed by her high school pregnancy and previous employment. She had been avoiding events like the festival since high school. Watching Lucia deal with contractors, you would never think she had a self-conscious bone in her body. Here, at the festival, she was constantly adjusting her skirt and fixing her hair. 

"Lucia!" a red-haired woman with way too many freckles called out. She was waving from inside a funnel cake booth. Lucia's face turned red and she waved back with a weak smile. 

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Cathy. We were friends in high school," Lucia said quickly, trying to steer me away. I stopped in my tracks. 

"So, introduce me." I smiled. Here was a woman willing to watch me die, and she was afraid of the past. Lucia was uneasy with the request. She looked up to me with pleading eyes.

"Things got kind of embarrassing after Sophia was born," Lucia whispered, "I lost most of my friends, dropped out. I don't really want to relive it." I caressed her hand in mine and just nodded my head. I didn't have the heart to force her to attack those demons. This demon thought otherwise.

"Lu, aren't you going to say hi?" Cathy had sneaked up behind us, her question sounded sad. Lucia turned and tried to stutter an apology. They stood there looking at each other for a moment and then Cathy teared up and hugged Lucia. Lucia followed suit and I was suddenly the third wheel. A series of half sentences followed that seemed nonsensical, but obviously quite clear to the both of them. 

"Come on Lu. We're short-handed," Cathy said, pulling Lucia along, "we can talk while we work." I followed behind a very happy Lucia who had forgotten I existed. By the time we were at the booth, talk of children came up and mouths were moving at a mile a minute. Cathy gave Lucia a children's charity apron, and, without thinking, Lucia was working the booth. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see a well-groomed man, also dressed in an apron, with metal glasses smiling at me. He held out his hand.

"Bob," he said quickly, "looks like you've been drafted too."

"Todd," I answered and shook his hand. He handed me an apron and taught me the finer points of frying funnel cakes. Bob was Cathy's husband. They had two kids, one just starting high school, a house in town and ran a small accounting practice. I received half the information from Bob and gleaned the other half from the non-stop conversation between Cathy and Lucia. People they both knew came by the booth and talked about old times, the teachers they had once tortured and the fun they had. Lucia was glowing. 

Mama drifted by the booth, unnoticed by the chattering Lucia. She came up the side, near the fryer and smiled at me. 

"See, that what ju do for her," Mama said proudly. I smiled back, glancing at Lucia who was in her own personal heaven. I flipped over the current cake I was making and looked back; Mama was gone. I guess she knew better than to stick around. There was always work to do at a charity booth. 

The whole town seemed to eventually pass by the booth. Lucia's unwarranted embarrassment disappeared that afternoon. It was a small town and everyone knew everyone else's dirty laundry. Getting pregnant in high school twenty years ago was no longer at the top of anyone's bad list. In fact, most of the people were generally interested in what Sophia was up to. Luckily, it happened to be Lucia's favorite subject. It was the most I had seen Lucia laugh since I had known her. 

It was near dinner time when we were relieved by other volunteers. Lucia finally introduced me to Cathy, who was a good hugger. We all promised to get together in the future and separated cordially with Bob's undying thanks for our help. Lucia was no longer concerned about her skirt or if her hair was askew. I loved to see her with a perpetual smile, nodding at passersby and trading hellos. Now others could see her as I did.

"Where would like to eat?" Lucia queried, turning to me. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. Lucia lost her smile. "How long?" she asked compassionately. I didn't think my headache was that obvious. 

"Not long," I lied. It started about two hours ago and had increased in intensity. Nothing I couldn't handle. Certainly not worth interrupting Lucia's joy.

"Keys," Lucia ordered, holding out her hand. 

"Come on, we're having fun." I smiled, trying to downplay the headache. Lucia just flexed her fingers, still demanding the keys. I sighed and gave them to her and we headed to the car.

Lucia had me lay my head in her lap as she drove. She had one warm hand over my eyes to help block out the light. It was wonderfully relaxing and lessened the pain. She talked quietly, telling me about all the people she had run into and how they connected to her past. Her voice was always just one hair above a whisper. It never irritated the headache, and was soothing to listen too. Nothing she said required a response. I just had to lie there and try to calm my brain. 

The ugly curtains Lucia had hung in the bedroom now made sense. She closed them and the late day sun was completely blocked out. The room became a soothing darkness. She had been preparing for this. She pulled back the blankets and had me lie on the cool sheets. She removed my shoes, then hers and lay next to me. You really don't realize how powerful love is until someone gives you all of hers. We simply held each other for hours as my head complained. Lucia didn't fuss and didn't cry, she was simply there with me to make sure I wasn't alone and all was quiet. Sometimes love means doing nothing. 

We spent the next day tiling the kitchen floor. We had watched YouTube instructions and read a few pamphlets from the store. We solved the debate about whether to lay the cabinets directly on the plywood or on top of the tile. It seems cabinet companies prefer the first option and tile layers normally choose the latter. We chose the latter since it meant less tile cutting. It also meant the floor had to be very level since shimming the cabinets on top of tile would be sloppy. 

All the videos and reading in the world would not have prepared us for what we had undertaken. There is a reason professionals get paid well to lay tile. No one ever told us to prepare for crooked walls. It looked like the corner was ninety degrees. You had a right to assume it was ninety degrees, but it wasn't. The corner was a little less than perfect. We made the mistake of laying tile along the short wall first. We realized this would cause the error to run along the whole long wall, giving the tiles a crooked look. We ended up tearing out the initial run of tiles. 

Lucia took it well and rallied into the afternoon. I was more frustrated with the mistake and the time we had wasted. A few kisses and some good-natured teasing got me back on track. That, and she looked really good bent over in those jeans. 

We were finishing the part that would be covered by the new cabinets when I asked Lucia to marry me. For some reason, it didn't make sense to get all romantic about it. If it wasn't for my time constraints, I would have waited several months and spent days planning before asking. 

"I want us to get married," I said conversationally. It sounded kind of ridiculous coming out of my mouth. More of a business relationship than a proposal. It wasn't even a question. 

"What for?" Lucia asked as she leaned on a newly placed tile to seat the glue, "You don't need a piece of paper. I'm not going anywhere, Todd." She, of course, misunderstood my feeble intent. She wasn't angry; it just seemed a waste of time to her. I was already on my knees so I attempted to rephrase. 

"Lucia, will you marry me?" I asked in all seriousness. She looked over and laughed. It wasn't an insulting laugh. She had assumed I was joking. Her humor petered out when she saw my expression didn't change. 

"Todd, are you afraid I am going to leave you?" Lucia asked with concern on her voice. After last night, that was the furthest thought from my mind. I had obviously bungled the delivery. 

"I'm worried about when I leave you," I informed her, "I want to leave you all this." I gestured to the house, "I can give you choices. I can sort of be there after..." I let it trail off, unable to say the obvious. I can admit it to myself, but I still have trouble saying it out loud. Lucia's eyes got all glassy. 

"I am here for you, not for this," Lucia responded, holding up a tile. She was taking it all wrong. I almost sensed she felt insulted. 

"I know," I stated clearly, "I'm saying it all wrong. I am certainly not trying to buy what you have freely given. I wouldn't want it that way." I shook my head trying to find the words. I closed my eyes and began again, "If there was time...if I had met you sooner...I imagine us as a family, you, me, Sophia and her brothers and sisters. I would have had plans in place. I would never have left you destitute." I opened my eyes and looked at hers, "I want to be part of your future, any way I can." Lucia choked up a bit.

"How many kids?" Lucia asked with a little sniffle. She had her own dreams. 

"Three or four plus Sophia," I answered. My impossible dreams were greedy. I saw a tear start down Lucia's cheek. She tackled me, smothering me in kisses and dripping a few tears. She felt so good in my arms as I tried desperately not to move the newly-set tiles beneath me. 

"It would have been such a wonderful family," Lucia said.

"Marry me. Let me take care of my family," I whispered in her ear. Lucia nodded and hugged me tighter. I felt some to the tiles shift and I realized I didn't care if I had to redo the entire kitchen. Lucia had said yes. 

It took us a few more hours to finish the tiles. Impending death has a way of changing priorities. I took Lucia out to dinner to celebrate the kitchen floor, not our impending nuptials. The marriage seemed more like a legal formality, which I guess it was since a future life together was just not going to happen. I offered for Lucia's sake. Lucia accepted for my sake, and possibly for Sophia's. Love has a way of crisscrossing our reasoning. 

"How am I going to tell Mama?" Lucia asked after we ordered. Rusty's was pretty busy so I had ordered my pie early. They had run out one night and I wasn't going to let that happen again. Someone else would have to be disappointed tonight. 

"She already gave me her blessing," I replied. I was sitting high in my seat, trying to see if anyone was securing my pie from the glass display cabinet. Diana was hovering near the display, but not actively slicing. 

"You asked her permission?" Lucia inquired with a huge smile. 

"Mm-hmm," I responded. I wondered if it would be rude to ask Diana to get the slice now. I ordered it, but maybe she thought to wait until after we finished eating. I knew it was a risk to wait, having lost that gamble once before. 

"Is there heroin in those things?" Lucia asked. 

"Mm-hmm," I answered, not really listening any more. One of the other waitresses pulled out what might be the last pie and cut a slice. I had to rate the risk of embarrassment against the lack of pie. It's not like I had a normal lifetime to eat pie. Every missed opportunity was lost forever. I was just about to speak to Diana when Lucia suddenly got up and went over to the display. She returned a moment later with a whole pie and wearing a smile. I was sure my relief was visible on my face. 

"You asked her permission?" Lucia inquired again. Realizing she had asked about Mama earlier finally registered in my brain. I smiled with apologetic eyes. 

"I talked to her about it after dinner, when you were with the doctors," I answered properly, "she said I would make a wonderful son." Lucia was beaming. "How did you know I wanted the pie?" I asked. She leaned over and kissed me.

"Because I will make a wonderful wife," Lucia replied. "You talked to Mama," she repeated with an incredulous, glowing smile. I guessed it was the right thing to do. I had a happy fiancée and my own pie. Life was good. 

We were married a week later. It was a very small ceremony at the courthouse, presided over by a very fat judge. He was jovial and seemed to get a kick out of marrying us. I guess listening to people arguing all day makes you thankful to deal with two parties who are in total agreement. He used pleasantly casual words, but made us say our 'I do's.' It was witnessed by Mama, Doctor Collins, Doctor Pierce and Bob and Cathy Thompson. Bob and Cathy were made aware of the whole situation, which I really disliked sharing. My lawyer recommended we have multiple disinterested witnesses to avoid any legal challenges from long-lost relatives. It took a few minutes for Bob and Cathy to get past the pity. They promised to keep the secret so the whole town didn't become a pity party. During the ceremony, Cathy cried a little which made Lucia cry, followed quickly by Mama. I was just thankful they were happy tears. 

We brought everyone to our house. During the week we were able to complete the kitchen and the downstairs bath. Mama, Cathy and Lucia took over the kitchen and the guys set up folding tables in the unfinished future dining room. I broke out the beer, turned on some music and we celebrated. 

Doctor Pierce admitted he was freeloading. He understood Mama would be involved in cooking dinner and decided to tag along with Doctor Collins. I smiled, completely understanding life as a bachelor, having spent all but half a day as one. Bob stated loudly that I needed a belated bachelor party. 

"Too late!" Lucia yelled from the kitchen. I laughed at her bullet-like response.

"Bob just wants a reason to see strippers," Cathy chided loudly. I went silent, realizing they probably didn't know how I met Lucia. I was hoping Lucia wasn't feeling uncomfortable with the comment. I wondered how Mama was taking it. 

"That how Todd meet Lucia," Mama said. I was shocked to hear it coming so clearly from the kitchen. The two doctors just sipped their beer. I sensed they already knew. Bob's eyes went wide and he looked at me. I gave him a half-smile and shrugged my shoulders.

"She dance to put Sophia in college," Mama clarified proudly. I heard nothing from Lucia, so I went to check on her. Lucia and Cathy were hugging when I entered, I guess it was a mix of sympathy, forgiveness and love on both sides. I raised my beer to the dining room.

"Here's to mothers," I toasted, "and the children they love." A chorus of 'here, here' was returned. Lucia looked up and smiled. Mama looked at me and nodded.

"There, all dirty laundry out," Mama stated, "life go on." I had to admire her boldness. Lucia didn't have to hide her past any more. Cathy certainly wasn't holding it against her. Bob seemed impressed I had married a stripper and the two doctors got a free meal. Mama's timing was perfect. 

The dinner, of course, was amazing. Mama and the ladies made thick chicken chimichangas topped with a piquant avocado mix. This time I had thirds since they had made plenty. Mama had definitely missed her calling. I had no idea how Lucia had stayed trim growing up with her mama's cooking. I would have weighed five hundred pounds and been very happy. The doctors spent a good fifteen minutes singing Mama's accolades. Mama just smiled, soaking up the praise. 

"I don't feel any different," Lucia called from the bathroom later, after everyone had left. Feeling no pain, having had my share of beer, I wondered if I had made the marriage too functional.

"Are you sorry we didn't do the whole white dress thing?" I asked. With the time constraints and the desire to keep it private, it hadn't seemed prudent. I just didn't want her to regret it. 

"No," Lucia responded. She rounded the corner in nothing but her smile. "You would just rip it off me anyway." My wife, standing in the doorway, was the most beautiful naked angel this side of heaven. I stood, walked over and kissed her. She laughed.

"Brush your teeth, beer breath," Lucia said kindly, "then come back and make love to me like a good husband." She ran her hand up my thigh to emphasize her point. 

"At your command, my wife," I joked as I spun into the bathroom and quickly brushed the barley and hops from my mouth. I left my clothes in a neat pile on the floor next to Lucia's and entered the bedroom like a Greek god. I loved the smile my strutting caused. I could see she was trying desperately not to laugh. 

"Come here, stud," Lucia called. She held out her hand to try to speed my ridiculous walk. I lay next to her and looked into her eyes.

"I'm glad I married you," I said sincerely. I ran my hand through her hair, combing it back from her face. 

"And I, you," Lucia replied. We kissed then, slowly and deeply. Something was different. It was just a stupid piece of paper, but something was different. I rolled on top of my wife, kissing her neck and absently playing with her breasts - now my breasts, too. She was mine and I was hers. I smiled and my lips dropped to her nipple. I teased it lightly with my tongue. 

"I love my breasts," I said sweetly as I kissed Lucia's nipple. Her hand reached down and grabbed my erection. 

"I love my dick," Lucia laughed, massaging it softly. I pulled my hips up, giving her better access and went back to her lips. Our tongues danced lovingly and our hands groped softly, teasing each other's bodies, raising our desire. When her need was evident, I slid into her slowly. I loved how my wife moaned as I entered her. Her hips shifted as she accepted me. She raised her knees and wrapped her legs around me as we tried to touch as much of each other as we could. My movements were slight, almost a rocking motion. I wanted the first married time to last and she did nothing to hurry it along. We stayed, conjoined, staring into each other's eyes with no doubts about how we felt. 

We stayed that way until we couldn't. Lucia's eyes closed and her mouth opened as her hips began to grind into me. My need grew quickly and I ground into her, slightly counter and very pleasurable. I felt her arms tighten around my neck as she pulled me closer, her hips bucking of their own accord. I tried to wait, tried to hold off for her, but it was too intense. She went rigid as I emptied myself into her. She moaned her own release. I held her, staying with her as she slowly came down from the clouds. It was all very sensual and indescribably private. Intense on a different level. Something had changed.

"I feel different," Lucia sighed. "A better different," she clarified as she kissed me. 

"You do make a wonderful wife," I said, trying to catch my breath, "and that was a hell of a lot better than pie." Lucia laughed lightly and we kissed some more. Then we kissed again, and again.

The weeks traveled by in a fog of euphoria. We spent our days completing the bathroom and its two new siblings. The tub was especially large and we tested its breadth a couple of times. My wife was amorous and I fed off her desire. When no deliveries or guests were expected, Lucia made it a point to be bra-less. She teased me mercilessly, always bending over at just the right angle. 

Our honeymoon was spent installing hardwood flooring on the first floor. I was working hard on pounding in a stubborn slat when Lucia entered wearing a short skirt and knee pads. The skirt was cute, but completely inappropriate for the work at hand. I gave her a questioning look. She just giggled and got down to work. It took me fifteen minutes to realize she wasn't wearing panties. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen; my wife bent over on knee pads with her skirt riding up. It was two hours before we returned to the flooring. 




The Rehab



The inevitable returned as we were painting the dining room. I was up on a ladder, trying to carefully edge a light blue color along the wall without marring the ceiling. I was inwardly proud at my steady hand, not needing a guide to shield the ceiling any more. The headache came quickly, unlike the previous ones. It went from a dull ache to a blinding pain in a matter of seconds. I stumbled off the ladder and landed on my backside, cringing my eyes closed. It felt like someone had driven a hot poker into my skull. Lucia was at my side immediately. She relieved me of the paint brush and got me to stand. 

"I have you," Lucia whispered. This one was much worse than before. I knew she could see it, even as I tried to open my eyes and relieve her worry. The light was blinding and seared into my brain. I had to close my eyes or give up standing. She guided me upstairs, to the dark sanctuary, and laid me on the bed. My jaw hurt and I realized I was grinding my teeth. I had expected pain, but I hadn't expected the agony I was feeling now. 

"You need the pills," Lucia said quietly. I could hear the desperation in her voice. This was hurting her also. I shook my head, not wanting my own voice echoing in my skull. I wasn't ready to leave reality, the pain would pass. "Please," she said and I shook my head again. I wrapped my hands over my ears to shut out what sounds I could. My head was on fire.

Lucia curled up next to me, silent. I could feel her heart beating too fast. It was the first time I wished she would leave me. I could suffer through my pain, but I had trouble suffering through hers. Sometime later, time was moving strangely, I felt her rise. I was thankful when I heard the door quietly close, and I was left with only my broiling brain. She should be spared this - everyone should be spared this. 

Lucia quietly returned later. The pain had not lessened and I had failed to come to terms with it. It was not something I could ignore, although I continued to try. 

"You have to eat. Doctor Pierce said it would ease the pain," Lucia lied, although I didn't know it then. It was oatmeal she handed me, mixed with cinnamon. I ate with my eyes closed, even the swallowing seemed to ignite the fire. I ate in desperation, hoping it would dull the sharp edges of the knife that seared into my skull. In time, it did. The pain began to fade, but my muscles went limp with it. I opened my eyes lethargically and saw my wife in tears. 

"I'm sorry," Lucia whimpered. "I'm sorry," she repeated as tears flowed down her cheeks. I knew then that I had just had my pills. I reached out to her, trying to comfort her, to tell her it was alright. My muscles didn't want to cooperate as my head sank deeper into the pillow. The world took on a glossy hue with no detail. My wife, in all her beauty, seemed so far away. 

"It's okay," I slurred. I closed my eyes because it took too much strength to hold them open. I could still feel the pain, but it was more like a memory than anything too disconcerting. I faded to sleep. 

I awoke about a century later. My thoughts were foggy, but the pain was gone. It would be back, of that I was certain. When I opened my eyes, Lucia was sleeping fitfully next to me. She was still in her painting clothes and there were dark circles around her lovely eyes. My muscles were mine again, although they still tried to fight back. I leaned over and kissed my wife's cheek. It startled her awake. 

"Is it gone?" Lucia asked with bloodshot eyes. I nodded and gave her a weak smile. "I'm sorry I tricked you," she said as her eyes began to water, "I couldn't watch it any more." I caressed her cheek and saw the pain that loving me could cause. 

"You're in charge of the pills," I surrendered completely to Lucia, "I'll take them whenever you tell me to." The pain I had seen in her face was worse than the migraine. My wife came first, reality came second. She kissed me tenderly and we just lay there, talking about nothing important, simply enjoying being with each other another day. 

There were three things that made my wife happy. Sex, me bonding with her mama and shopping. Lucia loved picking out furniture. The first floor was complete and it was time to add guts to the newly designed skin. Her eyes were glowing as we went from store to store. She had a notebook full of primary and secondary choices as well as managing the budgetary concerns. My mind was completely jumbled with a myriad of choices by the time we had visited the last store. Lucia looked at her notes and smiled. I knew the look, I had seen it on the Discovery Channel. The same look a female lion would get when she stalked her prey. We backtracked through the stores, purchasing with acuity. I had no idea how all this would fit together, but I trusted her confidence and loved her enthusiasm. 

By the end of the week, the first floor looked like a home. There were only the four bedrooms left to do and I was living on pills every four days or so. Lucia had completely moved into the house. We had one unfinished bedroom filled with her eclectic furniture from her old apartment. Mama began visiting regularly, sitting with me. Once I awoke from a pill-induced sleep to see her keeping vigil. Lucia was determined to finish the house. It had at one time been my dream and I didn't have the heart to tell her she had replaced that dream. It made her so happy to work toward my dream's completion, and I loved to see her happy. 

I began sleeping longer. It concerned Lucia greatly. She knew what it meant and I saw it in her eyes. My time was growing shorter. Mama had temporarily moved into one of the spare rooms as soon as it was finished. She saw the signs and was determined to see Lucia through. I spent long hours talking with Mama when Lucia was busy elsewhere. We talked about my wife, my end and making sure it wasn't Lucia's end. I loved Mama's strength. I didn't really believe in God, but she certainly did. She was adamant I was going to heaven, which I found strangely comforting even though I didn't believe the place existed. 

I awoke one day, barely able to move. My eyelids opened like anvils. My breathing was shallow and I couldn't seem to take in more air. I had trouble focusing on Mama, who sat in a chair beside the bed. She rose quickly, seeing me awake. She leaned down and kissed my forehead and I felt a tear hit my cheek. 

"God coming, my son," Mama stuttered, "I get jur wife." I knew it was the truth and was thankful I was to be spared any more pain. My eyes wanted to close, but I forced them to stay open with what will I had left. I wanted to see my wife one more time. 

Lucia ran in, covered in splotches of light green paint. She quickly lay down next to me and I could see the red in her eyes. Mama left and closed the door. 

"It's almost done. Just another day," Lucia pleaded. When my eyes next closed again, they would never reopen. I smiled as best I could. 

"It's okay," I said softly. "It's okay," I repeated. How things had changed since we first met. Lucia hugged me and started to cry. There was nothing I could do about her pain. I knew this day would come, and I had dug the hole so horribly deep. 

"Thank you for being my wife," I whispered. She raised her tear-stained face and looked me in the eyes. I was mesmerized by that angelic face as my eyes closed. Her lips took me into darkness.

>>>>

The spring weather was giving way to summer's warmth. Lucia and her mother, Camilla, were dressed conservatively and sat in the front row on the lawn. Hundreds of white folding chairs were in neat, orderly rows, and filled with well-dressed parents, grandparents and friends. No one more proud than Lucia.

The stage was only a foot off the ground, just enough elevation to set it apart from the immaculate grounds of the relatively small university. The chancellor was giving a dry speech about the past and the new future represented by the graduates they were about to present. His robes were ostentatious with many long ribbons of various colors running down the front. Lucia had no idea what they signified, but smiled thinking they might be self-installed. 

"All our graduates are stars in their own right," the chancellor droned on, "but one always seems to shine brightest. It is with great pleasure that I introduce you to your valedictorian, Sophia Mendez." Pride blanketed Lucia's face as her daughter took the podium. Camilla grabbed her daughter's hand and smiled as her granddaughter took the podium. Sophia had the same thick raven hair as her grandmother and mother. The same smile adorned her lips, but her eyes were more intense, inherited from a father she would never meet and never desired to meet. 

Sophia looked down from the stage and found her mother's eyes. She smiled and her mother beamed her love back to her. Sophia's mother had talked with her last night. Sophia had seen the changes in her mother and watched her new property management business prosper from afar. She had sensed an underlying sadness and had gleened parts of the story her mother had refused to tell. Last night, she learned it all and cried. She cried for never having met Todd, the man who gave her mother a future and secured her own dreams as well. She mostly cried for her mother because the love she found had left too soon. 

Sophia's speech was the typical fare given by valedictorians. It spoke of accomplishments and goals. It was littered with humorous anecdotes only the graduates seemed to understand and appreciate. It was well-received and not overly long. Both Lucia and Camilla were at the edge of their seats trying to memorize the moment. Near the end, Sophia shifted to thanking the school, faculty and everyone else who helped make it possible.

"My friends," Sophia paused, "we can't forget our friends who helped make this journey possible and more enjoyable. I thank all of you. Especially you, Tammy." She swept her hand over the black-cloaked graduates sitting on the left side. "Our families," she paused again and looked at her mother and grandmother, "thank you, Grandmama," Lucia felt a tear run down her cheek as Sophia's eyes found hers. "Thank you, Mama." Sophia pushed her written speech aside and felt her eyes water. She really tried hard not to let it get in her voice.

"I also have to thank my father," Sophia said softly. Lucia's tears flowed freely. "Not my biological father who left my mother to raise me alone. I speak of the man who loved my mother. The one who gave her her dreams back. The one who guaranteed I could achieve mine. The one I regretfully will never meet since God took him before I could." Sophia's voice cracked as she looked up to the blue sky. "Thank you, Dad." Sophia left the podium before tears overwhelmed her like they had her mother. The crowd applauded and the graduates cheered, both had sensed the sorrow. 

Lucia was trying to hold herself together and failed. Too many emotions, pride, loss and love flowed through her in waves. 

"I just wish I could have finished the house in time," Lucia whimpered. She deeply regretted not fulfilling Todd's dream while he was alive. Telling Sophia helped, but the pain was still fresh. Two years had barely begun to dull it. Camilla just smiled at her daughter and pulled her close. 

"Baby, he no care about house," Camilla said softly, "he dream about fixing ju."