7 comments/ 9768 views/ 0 favorites Solution to the World Terrorist Problem By: V.Rich I have thought about this very carefully. I know what we should do about this Moslem terrorist problem facing all the innocent people of the world. Sex. And lots of it. Since celibacy and sexual frustration are at the root of the problem. What I think we should do, all of us “infidels” here in New York City and Washington D.C. and Pennsylvania in America, Lockerbie Scotland; those train stations in Spain, and numerous locations that al-Qaida used to practice their terrorist activities in Africa (too bad al-Qaida rightly figured that the rest of the world would ignore their murderous activities on the African continent if it was mostly Africans being killed) is to turn this problem over to all the honest, peace-loving Moslems to take care of themselves. My Moslem friend on the internet, one of the numerous Hassan’s in the Moslem world, tells me that he deplores these acts of terrorism and that all “good” moslems do, too. Hassan says, and I quote here... hassan says: i know the world its in the trouble. hassan says: I think this people made that without heart and sentiment. Vee: Korea? hassan says: when I saw them try to killing him also I saw his family craying in korea I felt very deep in my heart. Vee: Hassan, I do not think they try to kill that Korean businessman. They showed pictures of his head being lobed off. Vee says: the people from Korea are like the people from Spain, these countries think that if they run scared from al-qaida then al-Qaida will leave everyone alone hassan says: I am very sad about terrorism....also I dislike them kiiling hassan says: all country now fraid about torrorism hassan says: I am not like Moslem terrorists....cause islam not said kiiling the others people hassan says: we are human, to make love to each others vee hassan says: its very hard to see that when I saw some movies from iraque and all people kiiling in iraque, I fell what did you think ..I was hurt in my feelings ..its not islam and also its not human to make that killing Vee says: What do you think? to take care of moslem terrorists?? You tell me Hassan? Vee says: I am asking to know what you think we (all the rest of the whole world) should do to eradicate all the moslem terrorists? hassan says: here all moslem not like that to killing innicent people ...islam NOT killing inncent people...its NOT islam its terrorism hassan says: yes its ture but not all moslem is a terrorist Vee says: Yes I know, I really know not all Moslems are terrorists.. I know many moslems are innocent Vee says: BUT I do know all terrorists ARE Moslems Vee says: but YOU are the only one who can tell the difference. Because you see, that is the issue. The only truth. It is only within their very own community of moslems that the terrorist branch of the moslem extremist sects can be identified, routed out and eliminated from the presence of civilized people. But whom would we turn to? Certainly not a people or a country that was poor or weak, because the terrorist are well funded and would only bribe the poor, weak country into leaving them to continue their rampage. Well, probably the best plan would be to find the most powerful moslems in the world. That would be the way to deal with an out-of-control violent movement such as al-Qaida. Or al-Aqsa or Hamas. Or how about the remnants of the Taliban who have caused as much terror for Afghani Moslems as they ever thought to cause to the western world. Yes, the Taliban who now hide out in caves, waiting for the opportunity to raise again and lent their evil to the next bunch of Moslem ruffians. Where would we go for this intervention? The most powerful Moslem nation on earth. Is there any other choice than Saudi Arabia? But, would they be our best ally in the pursuit of suppressing terrorism? After all, the bin Laden family (yes, Osama’s very own father and brothers) are ardent supporters and close personal friends to the ruling Saudis’ King Fahd bin Abdulaziz. You can almost hear the conversation out on the veranda directly off the royal throne room of the great royal palace in Riyadh, as the king and his throb clad male friends sit around a beautiful platter of communal lamb and rice, sipping sweet honey-mint tea from small gold tea cups. Flipping the ghuta out of his face to take another bite of the honeyed lamb, the King continues the conversation. King Fahd: Nu? Omar, what is that scamp of a brother of yours up to these days? Omar bin Laden: Oh.. Haa haa haa, that Osama is such a cut-up. Ha, he has been so busy lately, what with both wife #2 and wife #4 about to have a blessed event. King Fahd: Yes, yes, I am sure he is fruitful, what is this? Eighteen? Twenty children for the black sheep of the bin Laden family? Omar: 26! King Fahd: Not to bad for the mere son of a concubine. Omar: But there is his regular day job which keeps him busy, too. Let me see? If I count them off on my fingers. Omar: Osama’s boys hit that American airfield in Afghanistan for 6 soldiers killed ..uh.. Two Spanish businessmen killed in Kandehar and numerous wounded in that gun battle.. King: Plus those two bombings in Turkey Omar: Actually, three bombings in Turkey, my esteemed King, if I might dare to correct you. With all due respect, of course. And the destruction of a British bank and part of the British Embassy demolished also. King: Yes, three bombings, but that was such a long while ago.. Omar: True, very true, your Majesty. Two Iraqi ministers that the Americans had hoped to use in the new Iraqi government. He was responsible for them, too. Prince Saud Al-Faisal, the King’s brother: And numerous religious leaders not of our sect, my dear brother. King: Yes, I can see my money is well spent there. Omar: And car bombings. Haa haa, your Majesty knows that Osama’s goal is at least a car bombing per day, if not in Bagdad or Fallujah then in some city worldwide. My dear brother Osama is working very, very diligently to meet those goals. All of his adult and teenaged son’s are now working in his organization to help fulfill those goals. Crown Prince Abdullah bin Abdulaziz, the King’s heir: We all know how dedicated Osama is. I always knew that boy would go far. When we partied years ago in Beirut, he swore to become an infidel killing machine and he is a true, honorable son of Islam, true to his word. King: Yes, yes. Omar bin Laden: Do not forget the thirty American Marines who were killed when the entrance to their compound was destroyed by the two truck bombs recently! Ha, now THAT was a fireworks display!!! All the men are chuckling and slapping their knees in mirth. Yes, that Osama bin Laden sure does know how to create a spectacular photo-op. The men settle down quickly as they notice that the King is not laughing but is frowning slightly. If the King is not laughing than the men know they have not understood the joke properly, and all sober up immediately. In seriousness all eating ceases and all eyes turn to their King. King: Yes, thirty American soldiers and three British and what..twenty Iraqis killed or injured? But my friend George was not happy about that one. King: No, hot happy at all. Too many, Omar. Way, way too many Americans all at one time. George’s father called me, for Allah’s sake!! The American father and son were offended. The king regarded all his ministers and friends present with a seriously murderous face. King: Do you know how much I hate to hear from George the Father! Prince Saud al-Faisal, the king’s favorite brother and Minister on the Interior: Oh, yeah, the father is a tiger. King: Omar, you will caution your brother! It is imperative that his successes move forward more... discretely. Ok, Ok. Maybe the King of Saudi Arabia may not be the best choice to hunt down Osama bin Laden and all the moslem terrorists of al-Qaida and Hamas and Taliban, etc. But, if the Saudis might not be the best candidates for tracking down Osama bin Laden, and actually they ARE the logical choice, then an alterative source must be found. Why have the great leaders in Mecca and Medina not come forward, if Moslems are truly appalled by the inhuman slaughter that Osama has unleashed on the world. Anyway, we let a group of Moslems track down these characters and then....? Well, what then do we do with all these terrorists to defuse them so that more idiots are not inspired to become terrorists in their place? Killing them will only make them martyrs. Marry them off. Yep, as simple as that!! The problem with all these terrorists running around is that they are busy in the deserts training themselves to kill innocent human beings., living the celibate life of religious virgins, scratching their crotches whenever they want and peeing on the side of trees. Is this a sane life for a man? The best way to ease them out of their current life of decrepitude is to get each and every one of them their own wife. Wife, sex (all that celibacy is at the root of their insanity anyway), a home and furniture payments, sex, and a normal, mind numbing job, then more sex. Children, religious school classes, ballet lessons, sex, and little league baseball, soccer, and of course, band recitals. And if the idea of flying an airplane into the side of a skyscraper re-occurs to these retired terrorists, and I am sure that it will after the fourth or fifth child arrives and the second or third time they are laid off from another mind numbing job-back breaking job, then their wives will be right there to disabuse them of that means of escape by reminding them of their familial obligations. And, of course, there will be the joys of sex. Right? * * * * * Thanks for reading this work. Please vote to indicate how much you enjoyed it (?), or how much it intrigued you and send feedback if you can spare the time. Your votes and feedback are the only way I will know how much you appreciated my effort and furnish the only means to improve my writing. Thank you, Vee