6 comments/ 19672 views/ 2 favorites Dirty Words By: Many Feathers The idea for this particular subject came to me quite naturally of course, after having spent time discussing several particularly naughty/dirty words with the new love of my life. Interesting that each one can have either a sexy/naughty/fun feeling associated with it, or can under extremely opposite circumstances be derogatory, even cruel in nature when used. And it all depends on the tone of voice, circumstance and situation that the use of a particular word or phrase can have such impact. To this day I still remember the first time I ever heard my father use the word "Fuck". I was very young as I recall, and he used it not in a mean or angry way, but more of one in surprise. So my first association with such a strange never before heard word left me curious of course as to its meaning. Though my initial reaction due to my fathers use of it told me it wasn't necessarily a bad or "naughty/dirty" word either. Just one I'd never heard him use before. But I'd heard it as: "Ohfuck", almost as though it were some small little Midwest community, like Ohfuck Ohio, or Ohfuck Texas for that matter. It wasn't until later on that evening at the dinner table was I given to realize that there was something more to the word than meets the eye when I decided to amaze everyone with my newfound vocabulary. The fact that mom had made one of my most favorite dinners provided me with the opportunity to impress both mom and dad with my now understood surprise as she served it by instead of saying "Oh wow, or goodie!" I instead said..."Ohfuck" and smiled. Imagine my surprise when I was quickly ushered off to my bedroom without eating a single bite of my favorite food. And worse...it was still quite a while before I was able to ferret out the meaning of the word. But that's another story altogether. Anyway, in discussion of particular words and phrases, I couldn't help but wonder and begin to analyze what it is, and why it is that words can make us feel or react in certain particular ways. Not just in hearing them, but in reading or seeing them pen to paper. And I realized in doing that, that the very 'look' of the actual words themselves can be suggestive, erotic, even decadent in nature. Ok, maybe it's just me...but see what you think. Lets first look at the word "CUNT". Now this is certainly one of those words that can be very derogatory in nature if used in that context. But it can also swing the other way, and be a very arousing word if used properly and under the right circumstances. So what is it about this particular word? I mean we all know it's meaning, I'm not going to redefine or explain that any further. It's not necessary. But lets actually look at the word itself. "CUNT". Personally I think certain words can have a subliminal message or meaning just in their appearance. Not even including the specific meanings. So gathered altogether, just seeing a particular word 'could have' not necessarily meaning it 'does have' a certain suggestiveness behind it. But some words I think really do. So for me, in looking at the word CUNT, I think and believe that it gives us several erotic aspects that bombard our senses simultaneously. Lets take the 'C' all by itself for a moment. C is suggestive of a nice wide opening, something that is beckoning, available. 'U' reminds me of a woman's legs sticking up in the air, once again suggestive of want...need, desire. The 'N' if you think about it, suggestive of oral sex, a '69' if you will even, and 'T' well hell, that one's almost too obvious, a universal symbol for cock and balls. Who hasn't heard the term "Tea-bagged", "Tee-boned" etc. Now lets look at the word 'PUSSY'. Obviously a bit milder in its use than cunt. More cutesy, not quite as erotically hot as cunt in the moment. I mean it has some of the same aspects obviously, though where 'C' is inviting, that pregnant 'P' as it were, kind of softens the impact. Though in my own mind...I sort of see the 'P' as a rather well stacked woman. The 'U' is again obvious, but now we come to the double 'S', which have all sorts of interesting possibilities. Again, the softer side brings to mind the image of after-glow cuddling together. 'SS' spooning one another after a nice erotic playful session of lovemaking. Though there again, if not spooning, perhaps "fucking" from behind, that position of easy intercourse side by side. And 'Y'? Again, this one's obvious, but at the same time reminds me of a woman demurely lying there, legs closed together in this instance representing the tamer version, though inviting version of pussy as opposed to cunt. Something to look at, admire, enjoy in anticipation, expectation of turning this pussy into a hot writhing cunt already to turn from a 'Y' into a nice open 'X' at some point. Now let us turn to the word FUCK. Interesting that we're seeing much of the same suggestive letters in this word as well. (Remember the well stacked woman I suggested in P?) Well here, we have perhaps the male side of that same representation. Anyone see the phallic symbol the way I see it? Even the small 'f' is represented here in the non-aroused state. That flaccid 'f' (interesting that f is in flaccid?) a smaller little poke there as opposed to the much stronger, more profound protrusion as seen in the capital 'F'. Now imagine laying the 'F" down on its back, already and waiting for the U to come join it, followed by that inviting, accepting naughty little 'C' all set to go. And of course 'K', I mean here we have a very vivid look at intercourse itself. The woman standing in front of the guy, arms leaning against the wall, he standing behind her as she bends over accepting him. Oh yeah...I rather like 'K' myself. Continuing on with the word COCK. Need I say more? But there are even more subliminal messages taking place here beyond those I have already addressed. What guy doesn't fantasize or imagine thrusting his cock between a woman's breasts? So here we now have a set of perfect twin 'C's and the nice thick round 'O' sandwiched between them. Sort of like looking at it 'head-on' so to speak, well, at least perhaps from a woman's point of view and position as she does. That nice hard fat cock busily sliding back and forth between those two luscious 'C's as she pushes them together, once again coupling as supported by that naughty wicked 'K'. Even the word "TITS" expresses that. Or tits for smaller breasted women. But here we have a phallic symbol with the letter 'I'. Bold...hard, stiff and straight, sandwiched once again between a pair of twin 'T's though in this instance like a pair of nice hard nipples protruding forth to lovingly caress that nice firm 'I' sitting between them. And again that sexy 'S' (which if one lays on its side) now presents us with the perfect position for performing some titty-fucking, though even remaining in its normal position 'S' is ideal for kneeling in front of one's partner, presenting and thus displaying the perfect valley for performing this particular act. (I mean again, come on...is it just me? Or when looking at that nice voluptuous slope of the lower portion on the 'S', can't you see the perfect contour of a woman's breast?) And while we're at it, BREAST! This word is a virtual orgy of excitement and playfulness. We've got a nice full, well rounded 'B' here just for starters! We've got a sexy little 'R' that if you think about it, brings to mind all sorts of varying positions for fun and spontaneity. Leaning against the wall perhaps, legs invitingly spread out front, inviting, available, and ready. You've got an ecstatic little 'E' basically an 'F' with curled toes in excitement, all hard and ready to go. (Again...is it just me?) And again another coupling letter in 'A'. That outward movement just before insertion, that anticipation of continuing pleasure as that (perhaps backdoor plunge) is about to take place. And of course, especially situated right next to that again inviting sexy little 'S', what more can I say? Not to mention that hard stiff 'T' once again complimenting the entire word. But the bottom line is, what is it that makes a word dirty, naughty, suggestive or erotic even? Is it by definition alone? I think not. I think that words can all by themselves suggest and hint at us their individual sensuality. As humans we use all of our senses in every aspect of arousal and pleasure. We hear, smell, taste, touch and look at that which we find arousing, pleasing to all five senses. So do the very letters that represent each of those senses be any different? I think they do, we just don't realize it or understand it that the way our minds do perhaps. (Well... least my mind anyway). But even if you don't see naughty dirty words in the same light that I now do, perhaps you should. Perhaps in viewing each of these, as well as many, many more, you can begin to visualize the eroticism of the very words we use to denote desire, lust, passion and ecstasy. In doing that, perhaps they won't be quite as 'dirty' as they once were. They become more acceptable, more endearing, more loving. Sure...they can still be dirty if that's what you want, there's nothing wrong with that. But they can be 'FUN' too. Hell, even the word 'FUN' suggests that, don't you think? So try a few, write them down, look at them and see what images CUM to mind. Dirty Words "'Cunt.' 'Pussy.' Among the most reviled words in English," teaching assistant Smith was telling his class. As he delivered his lecture on the history of English slang, Laura, at 23 the eldest student, sat back and took notice. She hiked up her skirt a little, enough to expose a hint of chestnut brown hair peeking out of her tight pink panties. "The Eskimos have over 20 words for 'snow,'" he continued. Then he pointed to the word "cunt" written on the blackboard. "This shows you where our priorities are!" 'Indeed,' she thought as she exposed a little more skin for him. Her pussy lips were beginning to wetten. Could he see them? She shifted a little in her seat. She opened her legs a little more. As the Indo-European cognates rolled off his lips—"cunnus, kunte, con, connos"—Laura opened her legs even more. Finally, his eyes locked for a moment right where she wanted them. She closed her legs immediately. He looked away, but she caught a slight grin on his departing face. For the rest of the class period, she undressed him in her imagination, as she knew he was undressing her. * * * * An hour later found the young woman in Professor Smith's office. She closed the door quietly as she entered. Then she leaned over his desk, the buttons on her blouse open and a hint of cleavage teasing his eye. "Professor," she told him with a half-serious tone, "none of the topics for our next paper suit me. French influences on English, the decline of the inflected subjunctive -- I like the history of the English ... umm ... tongue, but I have another idea, one you may be interested in as well. I want to do a piece on female genital slang." "Oh? Is that a big-enough topic?" he asked, taken aback. "Oh, yes," she told him. "Indeed it is! I've been doing my research. There are more words for "vagina" than anything else in English, except drinking and copulation. Almost all of the words are slang. Over 1000 in all." "A thousand? And where did you find these thousand?" "Books, books, books, dear Hamlet. The Oxford English Dictionary, of course." She pointed out the 20-volume collection of English words on the professor's desk. "I've got a list of over 1000 terms for ... that part. That jewel. They can be grouped by topical relevance. Many of them have rich histories beyond what you told us in class." He folded his arms over his chest. "Really. Run them off for me, my inquisitive young student." "Yes, Professor." And she stood up and pulled the elastic of her skirt out, peering in. Smith frowned. "Nice view?" he asked. "Oooh," she moaned, putting a hand down her skirt. "Guess what I see 'down there'? Now there's a popular term. When you want to avoid saying 'vagina,' which is a clinical -- and also a military -- term referring to its sheathlike coverage of the swordlike penis, you can use geography: 'down there.' 'The lowlands.' 'Swamp,' 'mound of Venus,' 'tunnel of love,' 'heaven,' 'hell,' 'home sweet home,' 'Cock Inn.' 'Where the monkey sleeps.'" Laura ran her fingers across the pink lips still hidden from her teacher's gaze, feeling the line that separated them. "This is what 'slit' means. "'Twat' means 'two,' like the two halves of my hot pussy." She rubbed her two outer pussy lips. "'Snatch' refers to how it grabs your cock or tongue, which it will do shortly." Professor Smith reached forward, grabbed the young woman by her skirt, and gently pulled her forward. He peered into her clothing at her mound, then swiftly pulled the skirt down, coming face to face with, for the first time, his student's research project. "Maybe it reminds you of an animal: a mink, a monkey, kitty, *pussy*, tail, magpie's nest— "In Catholic high school, we used to call it a cheetah," the professor laughed. "Oh, how quickly they got around." Laura smiled at him. Then she ran her smooth hands across her pussy again, through her thick brown hair, and down to her protruding pink clit bud. She brought her fingers to his nose. "Smell me," she ordered. Obeying, he inhaled deeply. Her pussy had a deeply musky smell, with a bit of an ocean aroma. "Many words refer to the smell. Many of them are not flattering words, referring to various inhabitants of the sea. "'Tuna,' 'snapper,' 'fish,' Eww!!!" "Believe me, Laura, these words do not refer to you," he assured her. Then she spread her pink lips right before his wide eyes. "Many of our words refer to the opening here. I don't think any other hole has as many other terms for it. There's 'gash,' 'toolbox,' 'canyon,' 'hole,' 'lovebox,' 'gutter'—" "'Lunchbox," the professor snickered. "Lunch will be served soon," Laura told him. "And then there's 'cranny,' 'nook,' 'gully.' I could go on and on." "And then there's food," the brown-haired beauty said. She moved closer to him, climbing his walnut desk, kneeling down with her wet, furry cunt just a foot from his face. Reaching out, she took his head and pressed it forward. In the second it took him to get his face into her cunt, he was assaulted by a wave of familiar cunt odor. Now, with his face home, the professor inhaled the strong musk to his heart's delight. "Ah, what glorious food is a woman's cunt. It's a peach, a fur pie, a honeypot, a furburger—" "I'm definitely getting honey," he moaned. "Mmm, yes." "—a kettle, mutton, fish sandwich, seafood, passionfruit, rubyfruit." "Don't forget 'muffin'" he said, looking up into her eyes as his tongue slid into her sopping hole. "You definitely are a muffin." "And a jellyroll, jampot, and a cookie. My, do you know how to eat cookie!" "Then there's your thick, lustrous hair," he said. "What words does our glorious language have for that?" She pulled his face away, beginning to moan heavily. "My beautiful brown hair that stretches from my belly button down to my asshole and up between my cheeks? More than the French, I say." Laura turned her hips over, indicating the pink pucker between her fleshy cheeks. It was surrounded by a forest of hair that went up to the middle of her asscrack and stretched two inches on either side of her asshole. "It's fur, a bush, a lawn, a forest, a thicket, sweet briar, thatch, grass. If I shave it, it becomes moss for a short while, then soon grows back to a beard, wool, fox, beaver, squirrel, garden, muff, cotton." "Do you have a name for your vagina?" he asked her. "There have been Babette, foxy, Aunt Maria, Mary Jane, Mother of Saint Patrick, Miss Brown ... and my favorite, 'hot little Laura.'" The professor's dedicated student pushed his head back to her tight, oozing fanny. "I'm about to come," she moaned. He pushed his tongue deeper into her, fucking it with in-and-out motions. With his upper lip, he brushed her clit up and down. As she fucked his tongue, she muffled her cries and shuddered, her cunt muscles clenching his tongue hard, her thighs shaking. Laura moaned heavily as her knees gave way and she collapsed on his desk, spilling papers onto the floor. Still, he kept his tongue glued to her flowing hole. "Oh, stop. STOP!!!!" A quivering mess, Laura sat up, her knees shaking. "My, I do love the English tongue .... Have I told you about the word 'cunt'?" "Why, no, dear Laura. Tell me all about it." He said that amid a faceful of visible pussy juice that stretched from his chin to his forehead. "Well, professor, 'cunt' is the most reviled, dirty, and forbidden word in English. They'll be saying 'fuck' on prime-time TV long before they say 'cunt.' But it was once a legitimate term. It has French, Latin, and Norse cognates. German and Greek, too. And Spanish. Probably dozens more. Chaucer used versions of the word in 'The Canterbury Tales.' Some people incorporated it into their last names. There was a Gropecuntelane, even, where prostitutes offered their services. And a doctor used it on at least one occasion, in 1230, to refer to a patient's vagina." She continued, sitting up and looking at him. "Our precious Oxford English Dictionary didn't even include it until 1972." Opening and closing her legs like butterfly wings, Laura said, "From the 1700s to the mid-1900s, it was illegal to print the term. Cunt. Cunt. CUNT! It may be related to 'quaint,' 'cow,' 'quiff,' 'queen,' 'carnal,' 'gynecology,' 'Gwen,' maybe even 'cove,' 'cottage,' 'cooch,' 'cudgel,' 'cubbyhole.' You must go back thousands of years to a common derivative believed to be 'ku,' referring to femininity in some fundamental way. Cunt has always been powerful. The German 'kunte,' the French 'con,' the Spanish 'conyo,' Sanskrit 'cushi,' Greek 'kusos, and Latin 'cunnus.' You know 'cunnus," she said, shamelessly flaunting her own cunnus at him. "'Cunnus' was outlawed in Rome for a while," he said to her twat. "And there's cuntlet, cunny, and cunnikin, all diminutives of that linguistic enigma. Oh, it's such a shame all these words are so dirty," she bemoaned. "Ah, but that's what makes them so fun to use," he told her, coating a finger with her fragrant cum and licking it off. "Would they turn us on so much if they were clean?" "I guess not, Professor," she said. "Well, you've convinced me. Female genital slang is enough of a linguistic force to deserve its own paper. Good luck." Laura thanked him, then moved her eyes down to his still-bulging crotch. "Professor, do you know how many words there are for men's genitals?" "No ..." She took hold of his zipper, undid it, reached in and pulled out his already-hard cock. She brought her lips to its head and gave it a sloppy, wet kiss, then quickly slid it inside and back out. "Let me begin. There are well over 500. There's cock, dick, schlong, fireman, John Henry, wanker, German helmet, gulley raker ..." Dirty Words You tell me to stand still in front of you; the thick, black rope is in your hands. You proceed to roughly, wind the rope round both my breasts, pulling it tightly until they ache and are left standing to attention in front of me. The handcuffs jingle as you secure my hands behind my back. The order to kneel on the bed can only be obeyed and I desperately wiggle into position, the lack of hands hindering my process slightly, making you impatient. You push my shoulders down forcing my head onto the pillows and I raise my bottom instinctively, spreading my legs open at the same time; I know by now what is expected of me and what is next to come. You force your fingers into my anus and I groan with the heady erotic feeling as you stretch me wide open and ready for your entry. I can feel your cock as it pushes it way, deep inside me, stretching me further. When it is fully inserted, you stop and slap my arse, hard. "You better not dare to come!" You growl. I answer with a whimper, "I won't Sir." Taking up the slack from the breast bondage, you start to pump your cock viciously hard and fast into my arse, riding me like a naked slavish pony. The rope pulls at my breasts, scraping my tender, engorged nipples across the sheets. "Fuck me, you dirty slut," You shout. I start to push my arse onto your cock, as you pull at the ropes controlling the rhythm. The ropes tighten round my breasts further, making me cry out with combined pleasure and pain. Suddenly, you let go of the ropes and yank my head up by my hair. White, hot pain shoots through my scalp as you lift me up to whisper in my ear, "What are you?" You ask. "I am your dirty whore and slut Sir." Satisfied, you release me and withdraw your cock from my arse. I am now positioned on knees with my back against the cool wall; you are holding me up by one hand tangled in my hair, and slapping one of my tied breasts with the other. The red, hot pain that surges through my breast makes me swoon and you pull my head back up with my hair. You swap over and start to rhythmically slap my other breast. The pain begins to diminish as I start to float away into the blackness. My mantra plays in my head, "Please my Master, please my Master." I am fully aware that this is an exercise in obedience and punishment for my bad attitude with you earlier. My head flops forward onto your chest when you let my hair go and I ache for the cuddle of reassurance. You give me a brief embrace and then instruct me to lie down my back. Even though I long for a more substantial cuddle, I silently obey. You push my legs up high and wide and let them rest on your shoulders as your cock enters my cunt. "Remember, no coming," You remind me. I groan and shake my head obediently. I desperately try to stop myself from coming as your thrusts become harder, deeper and faster. I shut my eyes and let my head drop to one side. "Look at me," You command. I force myself to look you in your eyes and bite at my bottom lip as the frustration becomes almost too much to bear. You place your hands around my throat. I plead at you with my eyes, but then submit as I see your determined expression. I know that my Master would not let me come to any harm and I trust you completely. A gentle illimitable force is applied to my throat, slowly becoming tighter until I cannot take another breath. I shut my eyes, feeling my body go weak as my head becomes empty. The next thing I am aware of is the pressure being released and my Masters cum being ejaculated into my cunt. I gasp, drawing in a deep lungful of air, as my Master's pleasure ends. I move over as you collapse beside me and demand me to clean your cock. Hastily, shaking the dizziness from my head, I pull myself up although my arms and hands ache from lying on them, and I position myself between your legs to clean the various juices from your cock. I wistfully hope that my punishment is over and that you will take me tenderly into your arms. However, my Masters needs come first and I am eager to obey when you tell me kneel on the floor and collect all the toys up and put them away into the box using my mouth. I try to stem the feelings of humiliation while I do your bidding and I can feel you watching me complete the task as quickly as possible. You then stand and tell me to get up and follow you to the bathroom. I run a small of amount of warm water into the bath as instructed, climb in and kneel facing you in the water. You utter one word, "Open." I open my mouth and you position your cock towards it, the stream of piss gathers on my tongue and I gulp it down. Three more mouthfuls follow which I swallow down gratefully as if it is the finest vintage wine. You tell me to take one more mouthful. I struggle to swallow this last drink and try to overcome the retching. I always feel that I am letting you down slightly when I cannot take anymore, but I realise that have taken more than I have previously. I resolutely close my mouth and bend my head, as the last of your piss covers my head and runs down over my breasts. I gulp back my tears of humiliation as you continue to mark your property. When I have cleaned the piss from your cock thoroughly you tell me to stay there and leave me kneeling in your excrement. Tears stream down my face when you leave and the thirty seconds that you are gone seems longer. You return, undo the handcuffs, and tell me to run more water, quickly wash my hair and body and serve you tea and biscuits in the bedroom. I clean the ropes thoroughly as instructed, being careful to be gentle with my sore, bruised breasts and hear you turn on the television. When your tea is made, I enter the bedroom and kneel on the carpet by the side of the bed to pass you the cup and plate of biscuits. I bow my head bashfully, but you cup my chin in your hand and tilt my face up to look you in the eye and tell me that I am your good girl. A silly, girlish grin spreads over my face, I am so happy that I have pleased you, the punishment is over, the badness forgiven and forgotten. You roughly undo the rope that bounds my breast firmly together, pulling it swiftly until they are both realised. The action leaves me gasping as the blood is released back into my breasts, leaving them throbbing in more pain. I wait kneeling patiently while the pain continues to explode through both my breasts. You watch me gain my breath back and then tell me to join you in bed. I clamber into bed, rest my head against your chest as your arm snuggles me close to you. My heart feels like a Yorkshire pudding rising in the oven and overflowing over the side of the dish. Tender kisses and cuddles develop and then the tweak of my nipple sends me back to catch the last tendrils of sub space and I float away contently safe and secure in your embrace. Dirty Words The Center for the Study of Conspiracies, financed by the Barack Obama Stimulus Package, which has been such a boon to the porn industry, has uncovered a shocking worldwide plot to pervert users of the English language by embedding words with "vulgar and disgusting" slang references to sexual organs, erogenous zones, and sexual perversions in ordinary language as well as the highly specialized vocabularies of experts in a variety of academic and professional fields. Some researchers suggest that Obama intends this use of "subliminal text messaging" as a means of promoting his core constituents' "gay and lesbian agenda," although others suggest that the linguistic program is intended merely to promote "safe sex." A form of outercourse, such pundits say, Obama's lascivious lexicon is "as risk-free and meaningful as telephone sex" and offers "literate folks" a way of experiencing a bit of pleasure in their otherwise dull and dreary lives. Indeed, such analysts contend, Obama's program may be more "about promoting literacy than it is about encouraging promiscuity." The technique is as simple as it is brilliant. Slang terms have been embedded in ordinary words. The conscious mind is not apt to see the embedded terms because of the internal, or psychological, "censor" that God and/or nature (and society, in the form of one's parents, the mother, in particular) have installed in morally upright people, but the villainous unconscious mind perceives these slang "words within words." As a result, readers get a "sexual buzz," without knowing that they are being manipulated or "masturbated" by the text. What's more, the contexts in which these "dirty words" occur offer a clue as to which audiences they target. Having obtained a list of at least some of the words that Obama's lascivious lexicon contains, I am able to apprise Literotica readers of them. To make these words visible, as it were, to the morally upright people who may, by accident, have accessed this website and this category and this article, I will capitalize the nefarious "words within words" to make them stand out, even to the conscious mind, in spite of the internal censor and, in parentheses, after each word thus revealed, I will identify its targeted audience. As a result, it should be clear just how widely the Obama administration has cast its indoctrination net in an attempt to brainwash and manipulate citizens not only of the United States, but also of the world. (We would do well to recall that Obama's birth certificate is dubious at best and that, in Germany, before assuming the office of the presidency, he characterized himself as being "a citizen of the world.") ASSASSin (Central Intelligence Agency), ASSault (criminals), ASSembly (high school students), ASSay (gold prospectors), ASSent (politicians), Assertive (women and wimpy men), ASSess (revenue agents), ASSistance (Welfare recipients), ASSignment (students), (bASS (fishermen), clASS (teachers and professors), crASS (former President Bill Clinton), lASS (teenage girls), mASS (Catholics), pASS (transsexuals), sASS (teenage boys), surpASS (Type A personalities). highballs (alcoholics), MEATls (chefs), fastBALLS (pitchers) BOOBy hatch (mental patients), BOOBy prize (game show contestants), BOOB tube (television viewers), BOOBoo (mothers of young children; young children), BOOBy traps (soldiers) BREASTstroke (swimmers), aBREAST (writers and other users of archaic language), double-BREASTED (tailors), BREASTfeed (mothers), BREASTplate (Amazons), BREASTbone (physicians and patients), BREASTbeating (Tarzan) BUTTer (Mrs. BUTTersworth), BUTTerscotch (confectioners), BUTTERcup (botanists and florists), BUTTerfingers (clumsy oafs), BUTTerfly (entomologists), BUTTon (clothiers), BUTTress (stonemasons), BUTTonhole (boors), BUTTermilk (diary farmers), cigar or cigarette BUTT (smokers), scuttleBUTT (gossips) COCKsure (male homosexuals), COCKy (heterosexual women), half-COCKed (angry old men), COCKscomb (hairdressers), COCK-and-bull (political pundits), COCKle (uncertain; possibly Hillary Clinton), COCKpit (pilots), COCKney (Brits) COCKamamie (mental patients), Cockeyed (Monica Lewinsky) cold COCK (criminals), COCKfight (rednecks), COCKtail (alcoholics), COCKer spaniel (dog lovers), Bangkok (Taiwanese), shuttleCOCK (seniors) CUMulous and CUMulonimbus (meteorologists), CUMquat (fruiters), CrUMb (bakers), CUMin (spice merchants), cloaCUM (male homosexuals), talcum (mothers) ChappaquidDICK (Ted Kennedy) NorSEMEN (historians), horSEMEN (cowboys), wiSEMEN (Christians), houSEMEN (rich old biddies), warehouSEMEN (AFL-CIO or, maybe, the Mafia) PRICKly (Joe Biden), pinPRICK (seamstresses) PUSSY willow (botanists and heterosexual men), PUSSTfoot (podiatrists and heterosexual men), PUSSYcat (veterinarians, PETA protestors, and heterosexual men) TITter (comedians), TITillate (porn stars and their fans), TITanic (spinsters and other fans of the movie by the same title), TITle (royalty and the nobility), TITanium (chemists) WOMBat (zoologists) Experts differ as to what Obama and his administration intends, because, critics say, the president has not "calibrated" his words all that well. He speaks eloquently, but most of his phrases are hollow. When his teleprompter is not operating and he has to speak extemporaneously, he is seldom either eloquent or intelligible. However, he is quick to deny that he is intentionally using language to brainwash or otherwise manipulate or masturbate his listeners. "That was President BUSH's program," he declares, "not mine; I inherited it from my predecessor." The first lady says that it is unfair to accuse her husband of "mind-fucking the American people; he's not like Bill CLInTon." Nevertheless, despite the president's the first lady's denials, The Center for the Study of Conspiracies insists that there is "a vast left-wing conspiracy" afoot in which "subliminal text messaging" is occurring. "The hope is to demoralize the literate by continually subjecting them to the thoughts, such as they are, of the illiterates who have taken control of the media," a spokesperson for the Center told FOX News ("fox" is itself a slang term for an attractive woman). According to the Center's STUDies, the government is inserting offensive and vulgar terms into everything they write, even the names of high-ranking federal officials, including Speaker of the House NANCY (a slang term for an effeminate homosexual) Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader HARRY (a homonym for "hairy") Reid. It's all just a coincidence, some say, arguing that dirty words seem to be embedded in other, longer words only because some readers have dirty minds. "They want to see words like 'ass,' 'balls,' 'boob,' 'breast,' 'butt,' 'cock,' 'cum, 'dick,' 'semen,' 'prick,' 'pussy,' 'tit,' and even 'womb,' so they do see them, everywhere, in everything they read," psychiatrist Ima D. ONG theorizes. "If you were to print what I just said, or even just my name, you'd see some of these 'dirty words' if you're looking for them."