3 comments/ 33429 views/ 5 favorites Dear Angel Ch. 01 By: Goldeniangel Welcome to my version of "Dear Abby". I've found that a lot of readers often have questions about me, my stories, or just sex in general and that many people ask the same questions or variations of the same questions. So this is my solution to that; send me in a question and I will answer it and post it in the general forum. I would prefer just general questions about sex or relationships, and I will answer as best I know how... although if it's not toooo personal I can also be persuaded to answer questions about myself or my stories. Anyway, let's start off with some of the most common questions I've heard. "Is anal sex painful? How can I make it less painful? Are the stories where lube isn't used realistic?" Yes anal sex is painful. The first time. Possibly the first couple of times, a lot of people have compared it to the pain of losing their virginity. I'm not sure about that because I was lucky enough to not have ANY pain when I lose my virginity. However it definitely hurt the first time I tried anal sex, and not in the way that I expected. The first time I tried it, I was leaning forward with my hands on the bed; it didn't hurt going in - use PLENTY of lube (less pain) - but when he tried to move back out it hurt AWFULLY. Cramping, it was like having an awful cramping pain, like when you've been running and you're winded and it feels like someone stuck a pencil into one side of your gut. Just like that. However, I persevered because it was something I was interested in, and so I had my guy hop up onto the bed and lay there and I got on top. This was nice because it allows the girl to control the penetration - which is often the hardest part to get through - and it was a less painful angle. Slowly work your way down, going an inch and moving back up, going down and moving back up (again, less pain). It's best not to rush things, the stories where the guy slams in all in one thrust and takes her anal virginity and she loves it... well I would guess that it hasn't happened to anyone. Perhaps after having LOTS of anal sex that's possible, but definitely NOT on the first time. Slow and steady is good, and then once you're feeling used to it, just haul ass so to speak. Different lubes can be used to make everything easier. What it really does is make everything slide around easier so that your sphincter doesn't take as much damage or strain, it also lessens the chance of tears. Although everyone tells you not to use Vaseline, that's actually what I've used every time and I've never had an ill effect. However, I've heard that the real lubes make things a LOT slicker; Astroglide and KY Jelly seem to be among the most popular. There are also flavored lubes that can be used for vaginal or anal penetration, those can be found online (the Literotica store has a selection). However, YES it is possible to NOT use lube. DO NOT TRY THIS WHEN YOU FIRST START OUT. And work VERY slowly and carefully in order to avoid doing damage. It is possible, it will hurt more of course, and you don't want to do this until you are so used to anal sex that it won't matter. Before jumping from lube to no lube, try some in betweens - such as going mouth to ass or pussy to ass. I wouldn't suggest going back the other way, it's really not hygienic although for some people it is a fetish that they indulge in... they know the safe ways to go about doing this though. Something I don't know very much about. It is possible to go back and forth though, but if you're going from ass to another hole, I would suggest at LEAST an enema at the very beginning of things. Again, of course, unless that's your fetish, in which case I would assume you know much more about it than I do =) "Do husbands/boyfriends/significant others actually want to see their woman with another man?" Well, this would depend on your husband/boyfriend/significant other. As one can see by the many comments on "loving wives" stories, there are two groups who read these stories. Those that like to see the husband's loving it and those that love to see the women "get what they deserve". Personally I think that it's only either a very insecure or very secure relationship that would be involved in this. In an insecure relationship, it would mean that one or both of the partners is not satisfied with the relationship and is looking for something that they're not getting, or just plain looking for someone else. In a secure relationship this would mean a loving relationship where both partners passed kindergarten with flying colors and learned to share. It also means that they are so secure in themselves, their identity and their relationship with the other, that it would not be damaged in any way. Relationships like these are rare, but they do happen. I think that to watch your partner having sex with someone else and enjoy it, the watcher would have to be something of a voyeur. Of course, this does not mean that all voyeurs would want to watch their partner with someone else, but I would think that it's part of it. I'm a bit of a voyeur and although I don't want to watch my boyfriend with someone else, there are times when I think I wouldn't mind watching another couple, especially if he was there with me. And honestly, that might be what eventually leads to swinging. Also, sometimes it's just exciting to try something and someone else new. This gives it a controlled environment where marriage no longer means sex with one person for the rest of your lives, however it still gives both partners control over the situation. Still, not something to try without having a very secure and loving relationship; even if one of you is looking for something else, experimentation in this way could ultimately lead to heartbreak. Both of you must want this for the SAME reasons. "You write such different stories and seem to have such vast experience, but your bio says you're only in the 18-22 age bracket! How is that?" Yes, that's the correct bracket. =) Part of it is my very vivid and rather perverted imagination, I've always liked sex and especially the idea of sex. I started reading erotica about 4 years ago and I just devoured it, loved it... I started at a time when my boyfriend and I were separated by distance and I found that it made things a little easier for me. I tend to take things that I've read about and put them into my own words, so that even if I haven't experienced it myself I can usually come up with a realistic description. I ALWAYS try to do some research on a topic before writing about it. Also, I've been with my boyfriend for the past 5 years, and when you're young, in love, and in a very long-term relationship you do start trying out lots of new things. And also, being in such a committed relationship at such a young age, I also realize that there are things that I will never be able to try - except in my stories and my imagination. "Have you experienced all the things that you write about?" No. In fact, I haven't experienced most of it... which made some categories very hard for me to write in but I enjoyed the challenge immensely. A lot of the stuff that I write about I have no interest in actually experiencing myself, which is why I rarely write in first person, but for me it's as though I'm peeking in on someone else's sexual exploits. And I LOVE peeking in... I kind of think that writing stories is the voyeur in me coming out to play. "Why do all the black guys in your stories have huge dicks?" Well, part of that is that I like the idea of big dicks. I think porn with guys with huge dicks is one of the hottest things out there - I don't want any of those things near me (way too intimidating - ever see Sex In The City's Mr. Too-Big?) but I love watching someone else have to take it. It's the stretching, the pushing of limits that I like. That and honestly, the two blacks guys that I saw really were much larger than most other guys that I've seen. In fact, I've only seen one other guy that could ever get close to either of them, and he still wasn't quite there. I realize that of course this isn't true in all cases, and that everyone's made differently... but I still tend to find reading about "huge cocks" to be extremely erotic, even if I think that they are anything but in real life. Give me a nice sized, average dick for me... but if you wanna sick one of those monsters in her... well... as long as I can watch =) * So I hope that answers some people's questions, if anyone has any others please just email me using the feedback or leave a comment on the story. I'll probably submit every 3-5 questions that I get =D I don't pretend to be an expert, but if I can help anyone in any way - or even just satisfy curiosity - I'm glad to. Dear Angel Ch. 02 Question: *Excerpted* Angel, you write in response to a question about whether husbands want to see their wives have sex with other men, "Personally I think that it's only either a very insecure or very secure relationship that would be involved in this. In an insecure relationship ... In a secure relationship this would mean a loving relationship where both partners passed kindergarten with flying colors and learned to share. It also means that they are so secure in themselves, their identity and their relationship with the other, that it would not be damaged in any way. Relationships like these are rare, but they do happen." Any time a person says "All ___ is ____" you can spot either a zealot, a bullshitter or someone that hasn't gotten out enough. Now yes you prefaced your comment by a "Personally I think" but still your response takes the basic form of if a couple is really, truly sexually secure they would share their sex as they would share their toys ... indirectly using a rhetorical tecnique as spun off from "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." Still maybe given your experience, your advice is flawless. And by this I mean personal face-to-face experience because I don't believe much of what I am told by anyone on the internet. By the way, I believe you could be right from your basis of experience and even right for your own life and yet could be telling an average person things that are horribly wrong for them. Personally I think if you're talking about sex and sexual behavior in the abstract you're talking about widgets. Of course I'm sure that there are people that live there entire lives quite comfortably in widget world, but I think most people need to view sex within the context of love and society and stability. I could go on but even I think I'm being pretentious now. Angel's Answer: Thank you very much for pointing out something that I hadn't considered, which was that I made it sound like if you're in a secure relationship then you WOULD be up for having a more open relationship. Trust me, that's not at all what I meant. I've been in a very secure relationship for the past 5 1/2 years and we have no interest in sharing the other, not out of fear that either of us would be tempted to leave, but just because it's something that we like to keep sacred between us. What I had meant in the column was those couples that DESIRE to invite someone else (or several someones) into their bedroom would probably be in either a very secure or an insecure relationship. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to post some of your reply to me and my explanation to you in the next chapter, just in case anyone else was thinking along the same lines as you. I'm sorry I wasn't clearer about it in the first place, I hadn't even thought of it. So thank you very much for pointing it out =) (Obviously, I got permission before submitting this). Question: how about some more titty torturer stories with huge tits? Angel's Answer: I've actually gotten quite a lot of emails requesting titty torturer stories... one of the series that I'm working on right now - "Friendly Kidnaping" will have a lot of that. At the moment though I'm also having trouble thinking up story lines for it... if anyone would like to request a particular story line for it, I'd be happy to oblige, but at the moment I'm at a bit of a loss. Places other than the "Titty Torturer" to find breast play/torture is in "Contest" - I believe Ch. 2 is the best for that, and "Sick and Wrong" Ch. 2 and 3. Question: Do you get turned on when you write? Angel's Answer: Absolutely. I only write stories that I have some kind of interest in what's going on, and that I find erotic... which is why you'll tend to find similar themes going through the stories a lot of the time. However, it's not the same kind of arousal that I can get from reading someone else's story, mostly because I'm always concentrating on what's coming next and what the characters are doing. I do think that it's best to write something that will turn you on though, because if it doesn't turn you on then how do you know it will do that for someone else? It's just best to write something you have an interest in. Question: Can you write a how-to on foreplay, getting a woman excited? And also one on giving a woman oral sex? Angel's Answer: Well I can try here. I'm not sure that I really know enough to make a whole "How-To" on either. For me, I think of foreplay as being, not the leading up point to the sex, but as the beginning of sex. I think it can be just as erotic and exciting as the act itself - and I think that most of the time we start to rush it too much. Sex becomes about a race rather than enjoying the little things, like caresses and cuddling and kisses. Oh kisses... Remember when you could make out for hours on end? And think it was the best thing in the world? What happened to that? I just recently rediscovered the joys of kissing - although I'm definitely not back at the hours point, but it's something very nice and extremely intimate. There are few things that will knock a woman off her feet more than a good kiss. Think of starting at the beginning of the day... sweet kisses in the morning, maybe a few caresses... and just leave it at that. It can turn into a day long foreplay. For me, getting a text message that says "I'm thinking of you... thinking of sliding my tongue up your sweet pussy..." it just as much foreplay as actually doing the act. Best thing I can say for foreplay is take your time. Ever see that Friend's episode where the girls show Chandler the 7 points on a girl's body? "One... two... three... two... four... five... four again - oh yeah! - ... six... four... six... two... seven... five.... seven... seven.... SEVEN!" (ok so the numbers aren't right but you get the picture). Well it's not quite that easy, but the is an order. For instance, don't go straight for the groin area. Warm things up a bit! The neck and collarbone are VERY sensitive areas - on me so sensitive that I actually ruin the moment when my boyfriend goes for my neck, but on a lot of women it's just sensitive enough to be VERY nice. Kiss, kiss shoulders, fingertips, insides of the elbows. Start at the feet, around the ankles, behind the knees, the undersides of the thighs. For the ladies - these spots work just as well on the men. Breasts... DON'T go straight for the nipples. Squeeze and rub the whole boob, the whole thing is a pleasure zone, and going straight for nipples can be frustrating and annoying when you want to be caressed ALL over. How would you like it if someone just squeezed your nipples non-stop? It's not very erotic. Let your fingers drift slowly, try light and firm caresses, work your way into the nipples. Use your mouth in the same way. Stomach. Kissing the stomach can be very erotic, especially if you slowly move down towards the groin area. Now, personally I find that having a tongue trailed along my stomach is kinda gross, but some people like it to. I'd rather just have kisses there. Find out what your partner likes and go for it! Teasing kisses that slowly go lower hint at pleasures that await you... but once you get to the magical area... GO LOWER! Surprise! I'm halfway up your thighs and you're going to be teased and tormented some more before you get any pleasure. The ever seductive with-holding dance that just makes contact so much sweeter when it finally happens. Now of course, for a quickie, all of this goes pretty much out the window, but hey... did my best! =D As for giving oral sex, I would follow the same things there for foreplay, working up to it, taking your time about getting to the actual sex part. By the time you get there she'll be wet and juicy and raring to go, it's a lot easier than starting there and working your way up to it. Now, I don't actually know much about giving a woman oral sex because it's not something I've ever had the opportunity to do. However, a few things that I do know: making your tongue stiffer to lick means that the contact feels a lot more firm. If you can do interesting things down there - such as writing the alphabet with your tongue - then it's more interesting. Trying nibbling and sucking on her pussy lips, gently of course, but it's a completely different sensation (and quite a nice one). If you've ever played the trumpet or an instrument like a trumpet, and you know how to do that vibrating thing with your tongue... DO IT. Definitely one of the best experiences I've ever had. Try to find her clit, suck on it a little, lick around it, tease... I will say this. I have never actually gotten off during oral sex. I have come SO CLOSE, but it hasn't ever actually happened. Little mini-orgasms occasionally, but not the big mind blowing ones. Different things please different women. For me, oral sex is best used as a very intense part of foreplay - and it def makes it easier for a lot of women to orgasm during intercourse. So I hope that this was helpful for some people... and of course feel free to ask me anything! Dear Angel Ch. 03 Question: Which story conveys you the best? Answer: I think that the character the most like me is Allison from "Poker Loser" and "Allison's New Life", and I found that I gave Todd a lot of my boyfriend's personality and characteristics as well. Obviously the actual story line has nothing to do with anything that's happened in my life, but the characters are very similar. And writing those series were some of the times that I found myself getting the most turned on, especially Poker Loser. Most of my stories convey things that I would like to see happening to other people, a kind of voyeur experience for me. It's hard for me to write in the first person because most of my stories detail events that I wouldn't want to have happen to me personally, but I wouldn't mind seeing it happen to someone else (as long as they were consenting and enjoying themselves of course). Question: How do you get your ideas for stories? Answer: Lots of different ways. Some of the stories spring from my head fully grown, just like Athena out of Zeus. Of course, that rarely happens. More likely is that I'll be reading someone else's story and I'll like something from it and make a story out of that small part. Or I'll just be sitting around bored at work or school and my imagination will start flowing and the beginning of a story will start and I'll jot down the idea. Other times I actually had to sit and try to think of a story that fit a certain category that would be something I would be interested in writing. Not as easy as you would think. On occasion I'll get story requests/suggestions from readers, which is always fun because the requests tend to be even more unique than a lot of the stuff I come up with on my own. Of course, it's often a challenge to fit what I like into a story for someone else, but I like challenges. I try to always acknowledge when a request came from a reader at the beginning of a story. For example, I know that Keeping It In The Family Ch. 1, The Photographer series, and Work: In The Backroom were all written at the request of readers. Other times I've extended a story into a series because it was requested by readers; the whole quartet of "To Spank A Schoolgirl", "Spanking Karla", "Karla Returns" and "Karla's Final Visit" were because of readers. I had written "To Spank A Schoolgirl" as a stand alone piece, but was inundated with requests to continue the story, usually accompanied by a particular request for Karla and the Professor which definitely helped a lot when writing the sequels. Feedback, requests, and suggestions are among the most important things I receive. Constructive feedback anyway =) And I love getting suggestions for storylines, especially continuing story lines. Such as I've had a lot of requests recently for me to continue "Popping Cherries" but no one's really told me what they'd like to see happen, which means that I will probably never write it. I have no idea what I would put into a sequel for that story honestly, and unless someone gives me a brilliant idea, I probably never will. Question: What are your favorite stories that you've written? Answer: Ahh... most of my series. I tend not to write a series unless I have a vested interest. I think my all time favorite so far has been "Poker Loser". That was another one where I wrote a story that I loved but was supposed to be a stand-alone story... I kind of had an inkling for a continuing plot line but I wasn't sure whether or not to try it. The response that I got from readers was so over-whelming that I knew that I had to. I ended up loving the characters so much that even at the end of Poker Loser I wasn't quite ready to let them go, and readers were asking for more, and so I created "Allison's New Life" which I like almost as much. The "To Spank A Schoolgirl" set was also another one of my favorites, mostly because each of the sequels was fleshing out an idea sent in by a reader. Otherwise the sequel just wouldn't have been written. It's the only time that I've been able to do that and it was really enjoyable and added an excitement to the writing for me, because I never knew that I was going to do another addition until someone sent me an idea for it. Right now I'm sure that "Keeping It In The Family" is also going to be one of my favorites, which surprised me because when I first started writing I was having a lot of trouble writing in the Incest category. To have a series in that becoming one of my favorites was a bit of a shock, but I can't help but love the naughtiness of the characters and their constant pushing of boundaries and limits. I wish I could say that all my stories are my favorites, but there are definitely those that I don't like as much - usually because I wasn't quite satisfied with the plot line or I felt it got too cliche. Strangely, some of those seem to do just as well as my favorites when it comes to those fun little red "H"'s. Question: Are there really such things as male multiple orgasms? Answer: A reader left a note on that particular How-To saying that there are... I'm not actually sure. I know that you can give a man the sensation of an extended orgasm that goes up and down in intensity, and that's why I put "multiple" in quotes in the title of that piece. However, I'm told that it works well and that it's quite the interesting sensation. Although, don't expect your man to be ready for much afterwards, it tends to suck the energy right out of them.