0 comments/ 28670 views/ 1 favorites A Virgin's Tale By: carthartic I’m a 25 year old male man who has never had sex. That means I am a virgin. I truly wish I could say the reason why I have yet to have any type of sexual experience is because of religious or high moral ground but saying that would be me lying to myself. I have never been on a single date. I have never held a woman’s hand. I have never felt a woman’s lips against mine. I never have hugged or been hugged. To simply put it I have never had any physical contact with a woman. The only physical contact I have ever had with women are hand shakes I have received meeting women for interviews or in professional situations. A few slaps to the face at well but those are another story. As the reader of this story I want you to understand in no way do I blame women or have any resentment toward them for not being interested in me sexually. You’re attracted to whom you are attracted to. If I was a smart, beautiful, articulate, modern, independent woman; I too would not find me attractive and surely would not go out with me. I won’t lie to you for many years I was pissed at women for not liking me. I think that is a natural response for anyone. A major reason for this anger did not necessarily come from not having a girl find me attractive but from being ridiculed and blatantly made fun of by girls through middle school and high school. During those years I had the very pretty and very popular girls make fun at my expense. They would call me pathetic. They would ask me if I had any friends because there is no way someone like me could have a friend. They would call me poor because of the way I dressed or choice or glasses. I have always been a person who never cared about being popular or fitting in, so wearing stylish clothes or being stylish have never held any ground for me so I was an easy target. Being over weight made me an easy target too. Day after day I was told how me sharing the same earth offended them. Oh, Lucky me. When I was going through the torment of those years I pulled myself away from social life and naturally away from women. Hell I did not feel very good about myself. To be truthful I felt like a loser. If your told you’re a loser every day over a long period of time, sadly you allow it to permeate your brain and you too begin to believe it. I felt women or actually girls were “bitches.” Pardon the language but that is how I felt. I thought women were heartless, mean, spiteful beings that had been put on this earth to make me feel like shit. Over time as you mature thankfully and so do girls. Eventually, one day you realize women are not heartless or spiteful or mean. Those girls who made fun of me were teenagers. Being a teenager is plan hell. Our bodies change. We now find the opposite sex attractive. Some of us have problems at home and so to deal with these issues some of us make others’ lives a living hell, so they can feel better about theirs. I also learned not to blame women for not liking me. I was accepted that I am unattractive. There are ugly people, there are average looking people, pretty people, beautiful people, and absolutely hot/gorgeous people. I learned that I do not fall into any of those divisions, I am in the very small and sadly infamous, the undatable category. For a long time I had a hard time accepting that fact but like most things we experience in life we learn to acknowledge them and soon become accepting of them. The simple reason why I have never had sex and why I most likely never will is because I am unattractive to women. I am both unattractive physically and mentally. First of all, for most of my life on this earth I have been chubby. Hell, who am I kidding. My whole life I have been obese. Not that you really care, but I am 5’10” and currently weigh between 190 and 195lbs. The positive thing about this is approximately less than 3 years ago I weighed over 260lbs. So I went from a huge disgusting fat pig to a fat guy. Don’t get me wrong I am so relieved that I am just a fat guy. I make light of it but I am very proud of myself and continue to work on loosing more weight. Being over weight is just a simple part of why I am unattractive. On a good day I am an average looking guy, which I can live with. How many of us are Brad Pitt or Jennifer Anniston. I never wanted to be one of the pretty people, all I wanted for a long time was to be attractive enough to get a date or a girlfriend. But wishes are just that wishes. Like I have mentioned earlier, one day you finally accept this as being reality. Now getting back to why I am unattractive to women. From the moment I realized that I am attracted to women, I have felt that no woman could find me attractive. I believe that mental state is and has been my greatest downfall. If I feel like a loser and I give off that vibe to women. Women are amazingly perceptive and they can see a guy without an ounce of confidence from a mile away. Women want a man with confidence. Someone who knows who they are. Someone who knows what they want. Knowing that I have no chance to ever get a date is why women ignore me and why I essentially repulse them. Confidence makes the man. So a man without confidence is a boy. It may not be fair but life and reality is far from ever being fair. What is amazing to me is, that even though I am 25 years old and have never been on a date and have no hopes I ever having that experience in life, I am still betrayed by my feelings. To this day, if I am in a store, a mall, a job, where ever I still have women catch my eye. That is such a cruel fate. I’m allowed to painfully be attracted to women but there is no way they are going to be attracted to me. I think there is something a little unfair in that equation, if you ask me. I know the cute blonde with her hair in the ponytail in the next check out line would never give me a single thought but I am “forced” to be attracted to her. That is so much fun. For many years it really hurt to know this as my lot in life. Though now when I happen to see a woman that I am attracted to I just appreciate her for her beauty. I no longer punish myself with silly internal thoughts of being a “loser” or “there is no way in hell she would ever talk to you, let alone agree to going out with me.” I am truly amazed that how comfortable I am with the idea that I will not experience dating or having physical contact with a woman. I no longer feel as though it is a curseful existence but it being a part of me. I now willing accept it as I except that I am 5’10” or have brown eyes. Don’t feel bad that this is my lot in life. It’s really not that bad for me. For those of you, who have found me to be a big pathetic loser, I have too words for you. SCREW YOU!. Just kidding. Seriously, since I am now 25 years old and have failed to ever go out on a date or have any rather intimate dealings with an actual woman, I don’t want to start dating now. I mean I have missed out on experience in the dating game, meaning how to act around women in that arena. I don’t know the signals, when a woman is interested in you. I don’t know how to act on a date. I don’t know anything about women. I’m at a horrible disadvantage. Men and women have years of experiences. They go out on dates. If the date goes bad, it thankfully ends and they move on to another person. They continue to go out on dates with the opposite sex in hopes of finally meeting someone nice and whom they are compatible with. They then continue to date that individual. As long as the feelings continue and there is chemistry between them, it may lead to a physical exchange, which is sex. The time in which this occurs naturally differs from person to person as well as situation to situation. But normal, healthy men and women have adult relationships with one another. The relationship may lead those two to falling in love. They may move in. They may break-up. They may even marry and have kids. That is evidently the appealing part to dating is the unknown of where this date with this person can take you. It is about having fun, meeting people and then having fun with them. Why am I telling you this. You the reader knows a lot more about dating or relationships then I do or ever could for the simple fact that you have actual real life experience. I have simply conjectured and over simplified the complexities of dating, sex, and relationships from someone that has never been on a date. Getting back to what I wanted to say, is that since I lack real life dealing with women in the arena of dating, I’m glad that women are not knocking my door down or clawing at me for a date because I don’t know if I would go out with her. I know you may think it’s weird, hell, I think it’s weird and I have made that choice. Though I know I never will have to ever worry about declining the affections of a woman. I am unequipped to date, have sex, and surely fall in love with a woman. Women are beautiful, complex, sexy, mysterious creatures and I know that there is now way I could be an adequate boyfriend and lover for her. There are numerous men out in the dating world for women. They really don’t miss me not being in the dating game. I know there are a lot of crappy guys that women are subjected too but if I dated I would probably be one of the lame or lousy dates women occasionally go on. Moving on to a subject that I know knowing about and that subject would be sex. First of all, I am extremely relieved that I have never had sex or ever will. I know that sounds rather foolish or weird but for someone like me it makes perfect sense. I won’t lie to you, like all humans I have thought about sex. Specifically, having sex with a woman. Who’s lying. I have spent endless hours of my life thinking about sex. I have desires, needs, that leads to thoughts, to fantasies but over time desire fades, needs fade. When you don’t find yourself sexy, you really don’t feel like having fantasies or ever having sex because you don’t believe any woman could desire you in such a way. Getting back to the main point here. For someone like me to ever be in a situation where I would have sex with a women, there would be too much anxiety. All the possible pleasure or enjoyment would be sucked away by pressure and anxiety. I am a 25 years old, meaning that I would be dating women in that range, meaning that there are not a whole lot women over the age of 22 that are virgins, or who have never been on a date. Unless they are a social misfit like me and I don’t know if I would want to date someone pathetic like me. So that means if I was ever to have sex it would most likely be with a woman who has sex. Meaning that they know what to do. They know what good sex and what bad sex is like. I’m not a complete idiot. I have a pretty good idea where my parts match up to her parts but I am well aware that it takes a lot more then just a penis to pleasure a woman. Women need to feel a connection to the man they are going to be intimate with. That means a woman has to feel close. It does not mean that they have to be in love but there is a bond. Also, it helps to be involved in foreplay with a woman. Meaning after you have excited her mentally, her body must now follow. All men know where the woman’s vagina is but that still does not make a good lover. There are nearly endless places of pleasure on a woman’s body to excite her and I am not sure where they are all located or exactly what to do with them. Unless a woman is willing to tell me move by move, touch by touch, lick by lick, or generally take me by the hand and tell me what she likes. If she had a lot of time and patience, it might work out, but most likely I would be fumbling around for endless minutes and she would get bored. I don’t see how my first time I would be able to bring her to orgasm. I know a lot of men do not bring their female partners to orgasm but if I had sex before at least I would believe the woman faking her orgasm wasn’t faking. Seriously, it really sucks knowing that my first time I have no chance of pleasing her. That is a part of sex, to achieve orgasm. If you take all chance away from the woman from gathering her own pleasure, she won’t be jumping at me to have sex with her. Don’t laugh but I have seen my fat body in the mirror. I have to admit, it’s not exactly what could be called classically sexy. To be truthful, the word sexy and me should not be in the same sentence unless it is proceeded by the prefix un. All kidding aside, during sex, one generally should be naked and I don’t know if I could show myself to a woman. When one has sex, you end up having to reveal yourself. Which means you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. I don’t know if I can do that. Especially, knowing that the woman I am going to be with has had other partners. I know I could never match them. Unless, hopefully, they all were horrible in bed. I can wish. Stop judging me. I’m sure you remember your first time having sex. For someone of you it is very fond, some it was horrible, bad, or just average, and just plan awkward. But now think about being 25 years old and your first partner had has lovers. That means that they have had sex with those partners multiple times, meaning they are well versed in sex. Compared to you, they are masters at sex. So I bet you wouldn’t be jumping at sex, if you were in my position. The another reason why I am not chomping at the bit to have my first sexual experience is the size of my penis. You would think that since I am over weight, maybe average looking, you would think I would be rewarding with a good-sized penis. I’m not talking about having a ten-inch penis, but something a little more than I pack. There is a bare minimum in both length and especially girth and I fall short of both of them. Yes the trifecta. Fat, low self-esteem, and small penis. Woo! Hoo! How lucky am I. I can’t see why woman aren’t interested in me. Looking over and thinking about what I have just written, I don’t know why I have spilled these thoughts out onto the electronic media known as the internet. I guess I needed to vent these thoughts about my struggle with dating and the futility in romance. I poured out a piece of my soul out to strangers because all those who will read this are strangers and can only judge me by these words. It makes it easy to spill, when you are essentially are anonymous. I hope you enjoyed viewing a piece of what it is like to be me. Please contact me if you liked this baring of my soul. Tell me if you liked it. Tell me if you think I’m a loser. Tell me what this little writing did or did not do for you. I’m not ashamed of who I am. This is a part of me. To deny being a 25 year old virgin, would mean to deny who I am and how could I do that. Give me advice. And for all the ladies if your looking for a 25 years old, 5’10”, between 190 and 195lbs. Chubby, brown-eyed guy, who has never had sex, feel free to contact me because I know all woman are looking for that in a man. I’m kidding ladies. Truthfully, anyone who reads this give me your honest, truthful feedback. Don’t be afraid to be harsh. I can handle anything. Bye for now. A Virgin's Tale Annette leaned back in her leather chair and slipped off her expensive heels, digging her naked toes into the plush carpet. The boy sitting in front of her twitched nervously, barely out of his teens, gangly, tall, yet strangely attractive. She let her eyes drag over him, assessing him and his worth. His clothes were well-fitting and attractive, but he seemed awkward in them. She instinctively knew that when he finally spoke he would stammer, the plush surroundings of her private office making him more nervous that the establishment he was sitting in. "As you can see, Mr Taylor we have an ... impressive range of women, one of whom I am sure would delight you, depending on your particular fantasy. We do ask that you exercise caution, but we can assure you that all of our girls are ... infection free as it were." Annette smoothed her suit jacket over her chest, pulling it down slightly to reveal the merest hint of cleavage and smiled as the young mans eyes dropped. His nervousness increased as he moved his eyes across the brochure laid out in front of him, the variety of girls in various states of undress arousing him all the more. He pointed to one half dressed in a cheerleading outfit, reminding him of the girl so unavailable in high school, her short red skirt pushed above the line of her lacy French knickers, her ample chest busting out of the tight white sweater, her eyes seducing him through the lens of the camera. He felt his erection swell beneath his suit trousers and he glanced up at the older woman sitting across the desk. "Ah Tiffany, not her real name of course, a fellow American like yourself. Most excellent, Mr Taylor. If you'll just excuse me, I will make the necessary arrangements." Annette slipped her feet once more into the painful heels, her mind wondering to the massage she would inflict upon one of her girls later, and proceeded through into a side room, swinging her hips as she did so. She picked up the phone call, hearing the honey tones of Kerry, otherwise known as Tiffany to her clients, on the other end. She waltzed back into the office containing the nervous James Taylor and directed him to the room where Tiffany was ready and waiting. ~*~*~*~ Kerry sighed as she lay back on the bed waiting for her latest client. Being the cheerleader fantasy meant she normally serviced older men looking for a younger girl, and as she lay waiting, she pulled aside her French knickers and flicked a finger over her clitoris, to give the impression that she was turned on. She was paid to make men feel desired, and she pictured her madam's naked body gyrating on top of hers and she slowly slid one finger into herself. The tentative knock on the door flung her from her fantasy, and she quickly rearranged herself on the bed, and called out huskily for the client to open the door. The person who entered was barely more than a boy, probably 19 to her 20. He was tall, gangly, and she imagined he would speak with a stutter and when he muttered out his hello she was barely surprised to discover he was American. They always chose her, especially the geeky types, the ones for whom she was their ultimate fantasy, a flashback to their childhoods in a fairly freaky way. He was younger than her usual clientele, but fairly cute. Maybe she wouldn't have a fake her desire for him this time, something she was used to with he *much* older clientele. He was nervous, his hands and voice shook and she drawled out a question "First time?" He nodded, thinking she was so correct in more ways this one, this epitome of his desire, stroking her barely contained breasts, turning him on, making him harder if it was even possible. "Come join me sweetheart" she continued, patting the bed in a practised yet alluring manner. He sat down, making the bed shake and she kissed him, softly, her tongue deftly slipping between his parted lips and pulled his jumper over his head before he could catch his breath. She undid his belt and jeans, sliding them down over his narrow hips, catching them on his large erection, pulling off his socks and shoes all in one motion. She cupped his cock in her small hand and gazed into his widened eyes, his virginity written on his face and she smiled to herself. Virgins were always more fun. "Shush, sweetie, relax, let Tiffany take care of everything" There it was again. That slow, sexy half smile, highlighting a dimple in her cheek. He thought he loved her in that moment as she straddled him, taking off her sweater, unclasping her bra and he gasped as her heaving breasts spilled free. She pulled down his boxers, before taking off her skirt and lacy red French knickers. She straddled him stroking his erection with one hand, the other dipping two fingers into her own soaking pussy, rubbing the heel of her hand against her clit. "Ready?" He nodded mutely, half disbelieving that this beautiful blonde cheerleader was about to take his virginity from him. She slid down, moaning as the head of his cock first slipped into her welcoming wetness. She slowly continued, gasping as she took his whole length and she stayed still, holding him close inside of her, gazing into those widened blue eyes and she smiled again, before rising up again, putting her well toned thighs into good use as she sunk down again, slowly, rising up then down, becoming faster and faster, breasts shaking, smiling as he closed his eyes in desire, watched as his breathing became faster and faster, as she rode him, her own movements becoming a blur, as he shuddered, pushing his hips up into her, she gasped as he slid deeper as he came, hard, twitching as he released the last of his cum inside of her. She dismounted, smiling a full smile this time as she looked at him, eyes closed, face flushed, breathing still heavy. She stood up and threw a towel over his naked body. "Shower is through that door on the right." She left through the door on the left, and stepped into her own shower, rinsing the smell of him off her, when she realised she didn't know his name. It was not normally something that bothered her, but he clung to her, even when she was rubbing herself down afterwards, stroking her hard nipples and flicking her finger over her clit, rubbing herself to her own shuddering orgasm. A Virgin's Tale Hello guys, this is my first story. This is the first chapter of a series I plan on making. Please comment; this is very new to me. I would like any positive or constructive criticism. I write to make you happy, so please comment. I would love to do the best that I can. All characters in this story are 18 years of age or older. Anyway, enough rambling from me, happy Reading. It was that time of year again, and I was lonely. It was New Years Eve. All of my friends had a love they could call their own, yet I was struggling. My girls asked me did I want to go out, and of course I said no. That would only make me a fifth will. They would all have their respective dates, and I'd just sit on the sidelines while everyone looked at me with unhidden pity. And I can't say I don't blame them. I was a twenty-five year old virgin. At one point in my life I was very dedicated to keeping my virginity until I was married, but now I just felt pathetic. I was horny all the time, and it seemed as though the love of my life wasn't coming anytime soon. I was just about to relax and settle in to do my yearly routine, watch the ball drop. But, that's when I heard a rather loud and obnoxious knock at my door. I knew who it was immediately. It was my best friend Tracy. "Anais get your ass over here and open the door, I'm freezing." I had half the mind to hide but what good would that do? She knew I was here. "What brings you here," I asked. She just furrowed her brows and shoved past me. Yep, it looked like I was going to the party after all. "How many times are you going to lock yourself up in this dungeon? You're always complaining about being lonely, yet the one opportunity you have to get a man, you pass it up to watch the damn ball drop," she yelled in mock disgust. Honestly she was right. But I just wasn't motivated to try anymore. No guy was looking for an overly grown inexperienced woman. "I'm just not in the mood to party. I want to relax, I've been working a lot lately." And that was definitely not a lie. I was a teacher, and some of my students were pretty hard to handle. Especially Jordan, I had to speak to his father regularly. Which reminds me that I have a meeting with his dad tomorrow. I had to find something to wear. His dad was beautiful, and it is still beyond me why I find the need to impress him. He is my student's father after all. " Excuse me Anais, I've been trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes. What are you wearing tonight?" That's when it started. She began to go through my closet as if she were a maniac." Would you calm down already, it's not like you don't know what's in my wardrobe by now." She ignored me, and continued to search. " This is perfect, "she screamed. My heart dropped immediately, there in her hands was a strapless black form-fitting gown. I'd hidden it in the back of my closet; the last time I wore it didn't end well. My ex-boyfriend dumped me on our anniversary. " I don't want to wear it." She looked at me as if I'd slapped her. " Oh, you're wearing it alright." And that was that. Thirty minutes later, I was dressed. I can honestly say I felt beautiful. Tracy styled my shoulder length auburn hair in loose waves. My silky caramel skin was so shinny thanks to the lotion I bought yesterday. And my deep brown eyes popped, from being surrounded with gold eye shadow. We were just about to leave, when she stopped me. " One last thing," she said as she applied her signature red lipstick to my lips. " Now you're complete," she winked. Once we go to the party, I regretted it immediately. I didn't even know how to act at places like these. It was downtown in a rather expensively looking hotel ballroom. Since we were up high there was a nice looking balcony, I was ready to escape. Right when I was headed out the door, when Tracy snatched my arm. " Come on, don't try to escape already we just got here," she pleaded. I looked at her and nodded. She was right I was being ridiculous. I wasn't that damned old. I should know how to relax and have a good time. So I went to the bar, and decided to get a little tipsy tonight. " What will you have miss?" I honestly didn't know. I wasn't much of a drinker, and I knew nothing about wine. I sat there for a second dumb founded until someone answered for me, " She'll have Syrah." I looked over and my shoulder and my mouth dropped. It was my student Jordan's dad. He smiled, that sexy smile of his and winked at me. " I'm assuming you're not much of drinker," he said. I could tell he was clearly amused. It wasn't my fault; the only wine I'd ever tasted was that we drank during communion. " No, I'm not." I simply exclaimed. For some reason I found myself getting nervous. I'd never seen Eric outside of school. Or for lack of better words, I'd never seen him outside of the conference room. He looked stunning. His olive skin seemed to have an unnatural glow tonight. His curly black hair was sexily tussled. And I could see those well defined muscles trying to bulge out of his dress shirt. He smiled knowingly at my rather obvious roaming eyes. "Like what you see,' he asked and my mouth went all the way dry. Shouldn't I be off limits to him, I was his son's teacher after all. " I love what I see," I stammered. What the hell was I saying? He laughed at me as I tried to correct myself. "I mean you look nice tonight, what's the occasion," oh my god I couldn't be more of a dumbass. This time he howled in laughter. " Maybe it's time for me to ask you to dance." He grabbed my hand before I could deny his request. " You're so beautiful, I never found the time to tell you. We hardly ever see each other outside of conferences about Jordan," he whispered in my ear as we danced to a slow number. " Thanks, you're not to bad yourself," I stammered out. I don't know why I was so nervous. But he was all over me. His hands were caressing my back in the most soothing way. I felt as if my body was on fire. He dipped me back, and then smoothly twirled me around. He was a good dancer, but then again he was Italian. Aren't they all good dancers? " Why are you so nervous?" " I don't know, I've never been this close to a man." He looked shocked. " You have got to be kidding me. You are so beautiful how can that be true?" I didn't know. " I am a woman who believes in abstinence. Most men can't handle that. And I can't say I don't blame them. I can barely handle it myself." " What do you mean you can barely handle it?" I didn't want to have this conversation around so many people. I still didn't quite register why I wanted to have it with him. "Can we talk on the balcony?" He grabbed my hand and led the way. While we were walking I passed a very happy Tracy. She would've given me five thumbs up if she had enough hands. I just rolled my eyes. " Go along," he said once we were outside. It seemed like his eyes were boring holes into me they were so dark and intense. " Well I always wanted to wait until marriage for sex, but that has been getting harder and harder. I used to get angry with men who didn't want to wait for me. But now I get it. It's not impossible but it may as well be. I am so horny all the time, and masturbation is not doing the job anymore," I finally breathed. And he was laughing at me again. " Well if you want sex so bad, why don't you just do it?" And that was a good question. " I'm still scared. I still want love, you know? I've always dreamed of it being this intimate moment between me and the love of my life." I really don't know why I was still holding on to that so much. I mean it really was killing me. You'd think I was a teenager with the way my hormones were raging. " Have you tried oral sex? It's not the same as making love. And I can assure you its ten times better than your fingers," he smiled at me. I was so turned on at the moment. Maybe it was the wine, but I wanted him to touch me. I was surprised he hadn't by now. We were on the balcony, it was secluded, and I may be a virgin, but I know a hard on when I see one. "You going to answer my question," he breathed. It was desperate like he needed an answer right away. " No I've never tried it. I never knew a guy who genuinely wanted to do that for me." He backed me against the wall as he said; " Well now you do." His mouth came crashing down on mine. I couldn't control myself. I felt like an animal. I gripped his hair as he trailed his mouth to my neck. His hands gripped the bottom of my dress to lift it up. My pussy was tingling as it waited for its release. He got on his knees, and threw my legs over his shoulder. I didn't know what the hell to think, other than I wanted his mouth on me now. "Please Eric," I moaned out. " Please what?" I knew where this was going. I'd never been a person to beg, but right now I'd beg for anything. " Please taste me," I groaned. He just laughed. "What do you want me to taste," by this point I was getting irritated. But, I'd play the game. I hated the saying the "p" word. I know it may seem childish, but I did. " My vagina." He just laughed again as he shook his head, and slapped my ass. "You know what I want to hear." I just decided to cave in. My juices were starting to drip down my legs. " Please eat my pussy." And eat he did. I'd never felt so good in my life. He started near my asshole, and dragged his tongue all the way to my clit. But, I didn't get to climax, because right before I could, Tracy interrupted us. "Anais, it's almost midnight, everyones about to count down." She smiled knowingly and wickedly. I could kill her. "She's kind of in the middle of something," Eric said as he lifted his head from between my legs. I rolled my eyes as I removed my legs from his shoulder. " I'll be ready in a minute, let me get myself together." Eric looked at me confused as he lifted himself from the ground. " You're really going to miss out on an orgasm, you know I can just take you home." I knew he could've taken me home, but Tracy had just killed the mood for me. And I just remembered the simple fact that he was my student's father, this was inappropriate in ten different ways. "Well this isn't right. We shouldn't be doing this. So, I'm just going to leave with Tracy." He looked at me with irritation. It reminded me of so many other men who couldn't get their way with me. "Yeah well, I'll see you at the conference tomorrow." He said in a tone that scared me. In a way it made me feel like he knew something I didn't. And for the first time, I was actually scared of a conference with Eric.