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The President's Gay Wife Pt. 01

By: Egmont Grigor



Chapter 1

Right-thinking people of the mineral-rich Republic of Oceanpacifica were shocked when the Freedom Guardian published the riveting picture of the President's wife, The Most Honorable the Marchioness of Fitzroy, fully unclothed. The big shock was Lady Magnolia was pictured in the arms of another woman, on her back and also unclothed.

The reaction throughout the nation was, in short, 'Ohmigod!'

Public focus soared from ass to hotly debated discussion about the morality of the country's leading lady, although in truth she was relatively unknown to the masses even in the capital Freedom, formerly known as New Wimbledon. The media slammed into the fray like blowflies over a carcass. The resultant headlines in the Echo newspaper that afternoon and introductory sentences on radio and TV news bulletins ranged from inclusion of solemn wordage, 'End of an Era of Proprietary' to a frivolous, 'What The Marchioness of Fitzroy Does Next Will be Interesting'.

Immediately the conservative Echo called on the absent President, the Marquess of Fitzroy, to resign. Most of the media, mindful of their need for public support, took up the common cudgel and brayed, "Resign Lord Fitzroy!" Not one of those chest-beaters pondered over what perhaps was the imponderable: how does one resign from a lifetime appointment?

It was obvious to everyone that the country had a real stink on its hands but perhaps not without a twist. Aware it was heading the pack by breaking the story, the Guardian rushed out a one-page 'late extra edition' that left the pack in disarray. In 250-point type the heading screamed, Why?

The publisher-editor Jim Gee -- widely known as 'Scurrilous Jim' -- wrote: 

Why should the President, the Marquess of Fitzroy, resign? He's done nothing wrong apart from marrying the embarrassing woman. Lord Fitzroy, a self-made industrialist, has amassed a near exemplary political career and has made this former British Colony the influential powerhouse in international affairs that it is today. Adult males of this nation drool over The Lady Magnolia when lucky enough to glimpse her, until now always fully clothed I hasten to add. Women of this nation perhaps regard her as a role model in femininity, and grace -- and dare I say -- smoldering sexuality. So don't even castigate her. Just acknowledge she was unlucky to be caught out and forgive her if she humbly says she's sorry.

The main Opposition party called for an immediate Commission of Inquiry while Speaker of the House in consultation with the Prime Minister Sir Max Wallace, put Parliament into recess. The Armed Services, in consultation with the Police, acted under National Emergency Legislation to prepare to impose a 9:00 pm to dawn curfew and ban any further publication or formal public discussion relating in any way to the scandal. The commanders waited, poised at the ready, for their Commander-in-Chief and paramount leader of the island nation, who was on official business in England, to order them into action.

* * *

The Marquess Fitzroy, in southern England attending a reunion at his old school, was in the communal showers engaged in a knotted towel fight when his red-faced private secretary rushed in, almost oblivious to the red-welted backsides and swinging penises. Kitty Loveridge delivered news of his crisis back home. Within ninety minutes Lord Fitzroy, Kitty and entourage were aboard Oceanpacifica-1 winging their way home at 600-plus mph. 

"This is such a damn shame Gerry (Gerald)," Kitty sympathized and the President groaned and said his mother had warned him not to have anything to do with the over-sexed bitch.

"Well really she had little choice, having promised you not to commit adultery with any of your pals while we were away."

"I blame you for that Kitty," Gerry told the 36-year-old brunette, or more correctly currently brunette. "You were there when I extracted that promise from her. You should have told me to rephrase my statement and have her promise not to commit adultery with anyone."

"Sorry sir."

"Well, it's done now. We have the more important issue to deal with of how to cover our backsides. Remember, if my funding is cut by an outraged Government your career is as good as over in the Public Service."

Kitty replied frostily, "I'm more aware of that than you are Lord Fitzroy."

"Oh come on Kitty, you won't think straight if you get uptight. Please call in my other advisers and let's work on strategy."

The face of the 59-year-old President became even more crinkled when he sighed and against the backdrop of gold and blue aircraft décor watched the curvaceous mid-rear of his trusted lieutenant sway from side to side as Kitty went through the doorway of his private cabin. He'd gotten his hands around those cheeks a couple of times only to have her turn him into a shriveling wimp, Kitty frightening him off by snapping, "I'm gay Lord Fitzroy." He knew of course that was a lie but a woman snapping that curse right in one's face rather deflates one.

The entourage of both sexes privately acknowledged when Kitty approached them they were looking at the best pair of breasts in the entire Government Service. Her eyes focused on Dr Timothy Drum who unconsciously switched to look at the ceiling to avoid torturing himself by eyeing her masterpieces.

With typical efficiency Kitty said, "The boss is in deep shit and it's up to us to collectively extricate him. Timothy, as chief spin-doctor, we appoint you to lead the fight back in advising our illustrious leader. Cathy, you sit next to Lord Fitzroy and hold his hand under the table. Richard you keep muttering that this is our first real opportunity to shaft our political foes by ensuring the people abandon those detractors in significant numbers to support their beleaguered President." 

The other principal manager, media liaison officer Megan Ryan, asked what Kitty what were her orders.

Not one keen for a female to hold such an influential post where walking a tightrope was 50% of the skill required for medial liaison, Kitty said charmingly, "Organize coffee and follow us in."

During that leg before stopping to refuel and re-provision, the strategies and management plan was worked out to the satisfaction of Gerry. Itinerary and resources manager Cathy Jones stayed behind to apply vinegar to the towel knot welts on the President's ass, as he wanted them gone before he next exposed himself to his flesh-licking wife. Most of the others went to sleep while Kitty and principal speechwriter Duncan McClure worked on the President's speech to be delivered at the airport and then his statement to the House (Parliament). Kitty then went back in, ordered Cathy to dress and they returned to their respective seats, now reconfigured into beds. 

Yawning and checking her breasts for lumps, as it was Sunday evening her usual check night at home, Kitty smiled and thought how well everything was going. This 'massive' upset would be off the boil within a week but thanks to naughty Magnolia it would weaken the Government to mould the Opposition leftists into a more formidable body at the parliamentary General Election provided they didn't implode to destroy their chance of presenting a united front. Oh Magnolia, she sighed, your flaky husband has not yet worked out how your misdemeanor can be worked fully to his advantage. Sweetie, he may also decide you have to go.

Two black and orange jet fighters scrambled to fly 100 miles out and escort Oceanpacifica-1 to the Fitzroy Air Force Base, named after the celebrated American-trained aviator young Lieutenant Mark Stanton who in 1920 flew country's only aircraft to sink the cruiser HMS London amid its defense flotilla during the abortive British invasion against the rebels. That triumph at sea led to the nation's negotiated independence four years later. Although Pacifica Colony was renamed Oceanpacifica and became a republic on Independence Day, it remained a member of the British Commonwealth. Mark Stanton became the Marquess of Fitzroy on the death of his father in England and his son Gerry Stanton at the age of twenty-nine gained the title on the death of his father and the grateful nation appointed Gerry to succeeded his celebrated father as President.

In a private room at the airport, in the presence of only Kitty and two bodyguards, the contrite Lady Fitzroy and the President effected their reconciliation in a quite touching meeting, very touching in fact. Kitty pulled out a tube of thick bright red lipstick which she used to cover over Lady Fitzroy's lip gloss and then positioned her correctly to kiss each of her husband's cheeks, pushing Magnolia's head down a mite so that the lipstick imprint didn't appear too perfect.

"Is there need for this?" moaned the President and was told by his 34-four year old blonde wife of almost two years to shut up and listen to his top aide.

Kitty told the President, "When you address the media I want you to turn your head from side to side, nonchalantly and at an uneven pace, so cameras and observers pick up the lipstick. Photos of those telltale marks on your cheeks captured in newspapers, magazines and on TV will tell far more than even two thousand words saying you two have made up and all is forgiven. Lord Fitzroy, you then ask the nation to forgive wayward Lady Fitzroy who sometimes suffers from sexual confusion."

"Sexual confusion?" Lady Fitzroy grinned as her confidence had returned. "Ohmigod Kitty, that is so preposterous that people are likely to believe it."

"Ah yes," Lord Fitzroy agreed. "That's more of less what I told Kitty when I approved those words remaining in the final draft of my speech."

Kitty said people usually believed what they wanted to hear. She added cynically, "Fraudsters know that better than anyone."

The airport media center was crammed and KUT-808TV was broadcasting live to the nation, much to the dismay of the two other TV networks that arrived without live broadcasting support.

Lord Fitzroy walked to the rostrum appearing unruffled and stroked hair over his balding patch. The applause by the media representatives was later reported as no more than polite and sparse.

"First my brief statement and then I'll take questions. I broke off important official talks in the UK to rush back home to attend to what was being called a crisis of national importance only to be met by my tearful wife who apologized to me profoundly for any embarrassment she may have caused me. She reminded me she had warned me from the outset that she was prone to sexual confusion and with me being away had finally succumbed to that weakness. I recall her warming previously of that suspected disposition and I accepted it as being merely a tiny blip in her beautiful persona. I now heavily underscore that it was a relief to me no male was involved. We have kissed, talked and made up. Crisis over."

Lord Fitzroy turned to his left, held out his arms and said, "My beloved Magnolia. Please come out and join me."

Lady Fitzroy minced out in tiny steps, the ghastly lipstick smeared about her lips, and stood straight and true beside her darling.

The media questions came thick and fast but without real malice and nothing worse than the medical reporter for Women's Health asking if the President would call in a psychologist to work on Lady Fitzroy.

"Male or female?" quipped the President, endearing himself to most of the media. "A couple of hours in bed and my dear will be sexually reconnected so that makes any psychologist redundant."

"What about political and public opposition to you on the back of such behavior Mr President?" enquired Murray Locke of the Guardian."

"We don't have effective political opposition," said the President, and in surprise added, "Who let you in here Murray?"

"Despite your dictatorial administration Mr President, the freedom of the press to walk in here is ensured through accreditation."

Gerry snorted, "I'll have accreditation of all you troublemakers associated with the Guardian called in as soon as I arrived back at my office."

In an unprecedented move, the media booed the President and began filing out.

"Any President who marries a whore deserves this snub," someone shouted.

"Who said that?" screamed the President. "Security, arrest that man, or was it a woman? It will be someone associated with the Guardian. Lady Fitzroy and I will seek $20 million in damages for public humiliation resulting from the \I>Guardian's publication of a photograph compromising my wife. It was a damaging invasion of her privacy."

Into the space being vacated by the media representative walked a tall, handsome man with curly long brown hair down to his shoulders. He was the publisher-editor of the Guardian, Jim Gee.

"Jim Gee of the Guardian, Mr President. First of all, thank you for your outrageous comments and threats that will boost the circulation of the Guardian. Secondly, the Guardian and its people had nothing to do with this spontaneous rejection of you just now. You never have recognized that journalists in this country are intelligent and independent thinkers incapable of being organized by anyone. Probably most of them hate the guts of the Guardian but they won't tolerate anyone in their profession being patently victimized and I for one admire them for that. I appear to be the principal victim and so I thank them for that heroic support. Finally, read the Guardian in the morning Mr President. I predict acidic reflux."

Mouth closed tightly, the President made an obscene gesture with his hand at the back of the retreating Mr Gee. TV cameramen and two newspaper photographers recorded that unacceptable gesture.

Wiping lipstick off the President's cheeks while Lady Fitzroy attended to the mess on her lips, Kitty waved them off the presidential couple. Kitty left by another exit to pass through the media overflow at the nearest bar where she was accosted by none other than Jim Gee. He smiled and said, "Welcome back home pretty one. Hey guys, this is the fabulous Kitty Loveridge who used to cuddle up to me when we both worked as juniors in the parliamentary press gallery many years ago. Still carries the best looking chest in Parliament and that includes the women."

Kitty aimed a slap at the grinning face only to have her flying hand caught and be kissed on the lips expertly and it ended before she thought about ripping off his lips with her teeth. She hissed 'You swine' and that incident was caught on press cameras and Jim loudly recounted to those who'd missed the President's confrontation with him what had happened. He said the transcript would be up on the Guardian's website within the hour. "Steal it like you steal our other top-breaking stories," he goaded but received nothing but cheers and laughter. Jim, biggest shareholder of the former City Morning News that a syndicate headed by his parents purchased seven years ago and patriotically renamed by him the Freedom Guardian (usually shortened to the Guardian), was the only managing editor who drank in pubs with rank and file journalists. The young millionaire had established himself as a media folk hero.

Kitty was hurrying away but turned and glared when a woman journalist cried out, "God, look at that butt will you?"

"Lesbian scribes are a disgrace to journalism," Kitty snarled, and disappeared in the wake of derisive laughter.

* * *

Specialists from NBII (National Bureau of Incident Investigations also know as National Security or just the Bureau) monitoring this were confused. Their director, after a private briefing from the Prime Minister Sir Max Wallace, had put six agents on 24/7 surveillance of Kitty Loveridge, suspected of being an informer to the Opposition. An unsigned tip on Guardian letterhead marked 'Top Secret' had been delivered by parliamentary messenger to the office of the Prime Minister (PM). The bomb squad had been called in to open the suspicious letter. Although no explosive device or mind-bending substance was found the contents were important enough to be regarded as top secret pending an investigation. The message read:

I have reason to believe Kitty Loveridge is a spy for the Opposition with the aim of bringing down the Government and putting the stability of our nation in peril. A Friend

The letter had been delivered on the eve of the President's visit to England and he was advised by the PM not to ignore it. Then with publication of the compromising picture in the Guardian of Lady Fitzroy, the offices of the newspaper were raided. Tests revealed the printer connected to the computer in the newspaper library had printed the letter warning to the PM that Kitty was a traitor. The three library workers and their manager were interrogated but Bureau investigators were stymied when it was revealed everyone in editorial of both days in question also used that printer, involving around 350 printouts each day by up to 90 users. The illustrations editor had said steadfastly an anonymous tipster had called in he was watching Lady Fitzroy cuddling another woman. 

Sir Max who controlled the Bureau ordered the publisher-editor and the illustrations editor be taken away and grilled but backed down when the defiant Jim Gee warned he and his illustrations editor would cooperate and submit to questioning in their respective offices but if taken in for interrogation the country's media would 'bring down the Government'.

Informed about that, the PM yelled, "The asshole" and then ordered no further action on that particular matter be taken against the Guardian or any of its personnel unless compelling evidence was forthcoming. The director of the Bureau agreed with the A-hole label bestowed on Jim Gee, alleging Jim was becoming "a little too uppity' for comfort and deserved to be tortured back into good behavior. 

National Security director Ralph Cunningham sent off an encrypted message to that effect and the PM replied: 'Wait but in the meantime maintain close scrutiny'.

With the return of the President's flight, Bureau personnel tailed Kitty and monitored her phone. But the investigators came up empty-handed. At the debriefing it was agreed that Kitty Loveridge appeared to have gone out of her way to effectively organize the airport reconciliation between the President and his Lady Fitzroy and created graphic evidence with lipstick for all the nation reading newspapers or watching TV reports to see. Even the President's statement that Kitty supervised in the preparation was brief and struck to the heart of the controversy, pointing out the President was blameless for his wife's indiscretion and Kitty had personally produced the face-saving excuse for Lady Fitzroy' extraordinary behavior. The explanation was almost guaranteed to elicit forgiveness among people including those with only a touch of open-mindedness. 

It was agreed at the security operation debriefing, Kitty was publicly embarrassed by no other than Jim Gee and that, to say the least, was a very odd way for two people to act if they were in cahoots. 

"Or to put us off the scent?" the director said dryly and added, "Where is she now?"

The woman with wiretap connection said, "At her apartment on the phone talking to her mother and moaning about coming back from London in such a rush she'd not had her day of shopping that had been scheduled. Oh dear, she's just slandered the President's wife."

Everyone laughed and those no longer on duty went off, most heading for a nearby bar.

The capital's other daily newspaper the Echo that afternoon published a full report of the President's media conference and the large front page pictured showed him with a lipstick kiss on his closest cheek looking fondly at Lady Fitzroy who was smiling happily through smeared lips. The heading was, 'All is Forgiven' A smaller photo showed the President giving the fingers to the back of the retreating slim Jim Gee. The headline of the accurate report perhaps gleefully stated, 'President and Lady Fitzroy Threaten to sue Guardian for $20 million'.


The President's Gay Wife Pt. 01



At home the President dressed only in underpants said to his wife "Stuff-all wrong with the Echo's report. Paints us in a good light." But Magnolia was asleep on the sofa with a towel between her thighs. Later they watched TV news reports together and were generally pleased although Magnolia did say she was wearing far too much lipstick.

Chapter 2

In the morning Gerry was flushing bile back down his throat after gagging on the headlines of the Guardian: 'Shocked President Fakes Reconciliation with Sex Confused Wife' and a wide-angle zoom picture, chopped to the outer edge of the lipstick on the PM's cheek to just beyond the red plastered whore-like lips of his wife and the almost black grease of her eye shadow had him stuttering, "W-what the f-fuck?" 

The President rushed to the kitchen sink and vomited. Only then did he remember what Jim Gee had warned, "Prepare for acidic reflux." The bastard -- he'd get Gee brought in for corrective treatment.

Police or NBII? Gerry chose the Bureau believing the police would be too public. He called the director of the Bureau and ordered that publisher-editor Jim Gee be brought in and detained. The Bureau chief said he'd first have to get the PM's approval.

The President then called his private secretary.

"Oh Gerry, hi."

"You bitch."

Kitty replied slowly, "Oh, so I'm to blame for your wife's moment of mad gay indiscretion?"

"No you idiot. For painting that slut and me up to make us look like caricatures to be plastered on the front page of the Guardian."

"Oh no."

"Yes, you stupid woman. We look like Punch and Judy."

"But it looked great on TV last night and in the Echo earlier."

"Yes, but they are not driven by a scurrilous muck-raking editor."

"Just a minute Gerry, I'll dart out to the mail box for my copy of the Guardian."

"Lord Fitzroy to you!" he roared and she said. "Whatever you say. I'll be less than a minute."

Kitty panted, "Oh dear. Who advised Lady Fitzroy to plaster on her eye shadow in that messy manner?"

"I did. No I didn't. I'd told her by radio message before making our final landing approach to cover up her red eyes as she would have been crying, unsure of what my reaction to her would be at the airport."

"But eye shadow wouldn't help that?"

"She knows that, are your stupid? She bought some pink eye drops at the airport pharmacy and then applied extra eye shadow to take emphasis away from her eye rims."

"So I'm to blame for that?"

"No, of course not. But I'll tell you this. I want you over here within ten minutes with your resignation. I'll then decide whether or not to accept it."

"Why?"

"Yours is not to reason why."

"No resignation is forthcoming. You are blaming me for your wife's stupidity Gerry. If you want me out then sack me. That will leave me free to dump you with a huge claim for damages over wrongful dismissal. You may be the President but that doesn't put you beyond the law. Blame yourself for a grave error of judgment in marriage; don't blame me. Goodbye Gerry."

"No wait."

But Kitty had cut the connection.

Oh God, thought Kitty, looking closely at the newspaper picture of Punch and Judy. She snorted, "The foolish woman seemed hell-bent on self-destruction."

Kitty looked into the nearby mirror and cute baby blue eyes looked back. Well, she reckoned they looked cute. She looked at the rims and saw no sign of redness despite being addressed in that despicable manner by Gerry the twerp who would have made more botches with the potential to upset his reputation than a dog has fleas, but fortunately she'd been his political mommy and kept him on the straight and narrow. He was an impetuous sod, like going to England without her and coming back and announcing he'd become secretly engaged. 

Gerry had described his new girlfriend as the Lady of Camelot rather than the colorless wimp she'd turned out to be. The President had confessed to Kitty when they were driving home drunk one night he'd got into Lady Camelot's knickers on their first date and that had been at 10:00 in the morning. Kitty sighed in recalling that, knowing she'd missed that clue he'd found a pretty whore. Two months later the President returned to England, alone again, and his entire staff, the Government and the people of the country found out from a TV news item from London that the Marquess of Fitzroy had married the daughter of a couple who ran a village hotel. The knot was tied at a small obscure church and attended by only eight friends of the family.

Kitty fluffed up her brunette bob, checked her face for surface eruptions and smiled at the thought that Gerry had accused her of making him look a fool. The fool had put the skids under himself when he returned to the stupid bitch the second time, his dork obvious larger than his brain. The smile broadened as she thought would he dump her, leaving himself defenseless from careering down the slippery slope into near oblivion, as that would be his fate as a rudderless President. He was in the box seat to win the duel with her but he tended to dither when a pretty face was involved, didn't he Magnolia? She shrugged, deciding why worry.

The phone went.

"Hi, it's Gerry. I think I may have over-reacted. Sorry. Bound to have a real scrap on my hands when Parliament sits again. Oh, you may be interested. I've had the Bureau pick up the scurrilous Jim Gee under the National Security Act that allows him to be held without legal representation for forty-eight hours."

Kitty wondered if she were being set-up and perhaps Bureau people were listening in. Perhaps she was bugged?

"That's smart, allows him to be questioned about how he got that appalling photograph of Magnolia while at the same time being grilled about whether he'd attempting to bring down the Government."

"That's a bit over the top. The interrogation...er gentle questioning...is aimed as why he's so determined to damage my high standing. If he harms me it's quite possible that could harm the country. That would bring the National Security Act provisions into effect and bang, the media would come under severe restraint."

Kitty laughed lightly and said, "Good luck, he's a bit of a smart ass."

"While I'm talking to you Kitty I should say then Bureau had been advised you may be passing on classified or confidential information to the Opposition."

"Who me? You have to be joking."

"They are required to follow up on information received Kitty. Unfortunately it was received anonymously."

"The lying swine, attempting to besmirch my good name makes me mad. I'm ready to castrate him or pull out her ovaries."

Gerry laughed and Kitty thought she heard a suppressed background snigger.

"I'll try to protect you Kitty."

"No, let them arrest me and as soon as I can I'll scream blue murder to the media and perhaps the backlash on you and the Bureau will flush out the crazy idiot."

Gerry cleared his throat. "So you deny passing info to the Opposition or to its intermediary?"

"Of course I do. Do you think I'm a self-destruct nutcase? Although everyone thinks the Bureau is an under-performing collection of misfits, at least I have faith in them being able to track down the imbecile who is trying to set me up without a shred of evidence because none exists. Me working for the Opposition? Oh fuck me stupid. Gerry, please get those misfits on to my case and tell them I'll cooperate and will hold nothing back because there's nothing to hold back, although don't tell them that."

"Um, can you help put a finger on Jim Gee?"

"Let me see. Oh yes, sixteen years ago when university students taking media studies, we were juniors together on a newspaper and when half-drunk after attending a function he attempted to rape me."

"But he didn't?"

"No, how could he rape me if I described as attempted rape? As we banged around groping, he failed to get my kickers off and in despair I half knocked a tooth out and he ran off to his dentist. There's evidence because the tooth is dead and was screwed into his jaw."

"Jesus, remind me not to try unless asked."

Kitty distinctly heard a background snigger, possible more than one person.

Gerry said Gee couldn't be charged for an alleged offence that occurred sixteen years ago because the Statute of Limitations on a charge of that nature was seven years. "Anything else?"

"Not from me but perhaps you could ask your wife? Possibly she's had liaisons with newspaper editors and TV executives because it's possible she's now halfway working her way through the senior males and females of the Public Services."

"Bitch!" Lord Fitzroy roared, cutting the call.

Gathering herself, Kitty called Jim Gee on a private number.

A severe voice said, "This is Skye. Please state your name and the nature of your business."

"This is Kitty Loveridge and I am calling Jim Gee, publisher-editor of the Guardian. I have reason to believe that Mr Gee is in the custody of the Bureau. I wish to speak to him."

"I can neither confirm nor deny the whereabouts of this man you have mentioned. May I ask how did you get this private number?"

"I am the President's private secretary. I have the private contact number of every daily newspaper editor in this country and similarly the numbers of news editors of all TV and radio stations. It is how we communicate with the media."

"Thank you."

"Wait, please tell Mr Gee I called. He knows me. Please tell him if he doesn't call me within forty-eight hours from now I will be issuing a statement to all media that he's being held beyond the limitations of the Internal Security Act."

"Your comments have been noted. Goodbye."

Kitty snarled into her phone, assuming it was tapped, "Your lips are tighter than your ass you bitch Skye if that is your real name."

Appalled that she'd made unsubstantiated claims of numerous adulterous behavior about Magnolia to Gerry, Kitty thought she's apologize to him later and confess she was just being catty. She had a friendly relationship with Magnolia as being private secretary to Gerry she frequently traveled and dined with they both. The truth was she found Magnolia a bit boring as if she'd been locked away. What was the reason for that? However Kitty conceded she'd observed that Magnolia brightened whenever Gerry arrived in the room and if he indiscreetly touched her breast or dig fingers into her butt Magnolia became almost embarrassing. Why had she married Gerry? As a journalist Kitty wanted answers.

Two hours later -- it was Saturday -- and she received a call.

"Hi, it's Jim Gee."

"Oh hi Jim. I heard you became unavoidable detained."

"Yeah."

"Were you beaten up?"

"No, it was quite civilized, nice chaps really. No rubber hoses, water drips or truth serums. Just mindless repetitive questions. There was nothing to say because they were on and on about me seeking to bring down the Government. They gave up on that and after another barrage of questions gave up on asking why I wanted to harm the President's good reputation. Then they asked me about how I came to be in possession of photographs of Lady Fitzroy sunbathing in the nude. It took me a full five minutes to get over my hysterics about that sunbathing claim. I was unable to assist because of the ethics of newspaper journalism not to reveal sources of confidential information. That had them up a tree without a ladder so I demanded to be set free and they agreed, telling me to be a good boy and remain loyal to the Government. I said surely they meant the nation but they said no, the Government. On the way out a giant of a woman told me you had called to wish me well."

Kitty was pleased to hear he'd received her message. "Well, I called after being told you were in the lock-up and knew they would have your cell phone. I thought I should call and make some sort of threat that unless you were released within the due time I would be forced to raise a media rumpus."

"Well, if that had some influence Kitty thanks. I owe you one."

"You've owed me one for the past sixteen years after you blew your attempt to bonk me, so I reckon I'm unlikely to collect. Bye."

"Bye and thanks again, sweet one."

"Be careful darling, this phone is probably tapped, as I have been accused of talking to the enemy."

"Which enemy?"

"I appear to be under investigation, so I must not say in case I am charged with seeking to pervert the course of justice."

Jim laughed. "You a pervert? I don't think so. I'm back to the newspaper. Bye."

* * *

Next day before dawn, media liaison officer for the Prime Minister's Department Megan Ryan was admitted by security to the home of the President. Lord Fitzroy met her in the kitchen with the coffee already poured and asked, "What is it?"

Meg held up a copy of the Guardian, which he'd called for to study because he'd only seen a faxed copy when first advised of the scandal when he was in England. The murky photo actually looked like a sunbather and the Page 1 headline screamed, 'Nude Sunbather Lady Fitzroy was Actually Doing This -- Page 3.'

Gerry frowned and told Megan, "So the bastards published the picture on Page 3 so young children wouldn't see it without opening the newspaper and it would be considered unlikely they'd do that. He opened the newspaper and projected an acidic reflux across Page 2. Without wiping his chin he saw the picture of his wife in a Sixty-Nine pose over the top of another woman with that woman's bra pushed low down her chest. The woman with licking tongue outstretched was clearly Magnolia but what she was actually licking was blacken out and over-written with the words, 'Censored by the responsible Guardian'.

"Self-censored my ass -- if they'd published the bared vagina the editor would have been dragged before the courts," said the President, wiping his chin.

"What is it darling?" asked Magnolia, dressed only in a thong.

"Oh dear," she yelped as she sighted the photograph and then fell to the floor screaming because her husband had whacked her over the mouth.

Megan said she better go.

"What did you see Megan?"

"Your criminal action Mr President."

"And if I promise you Kitty's job by the end of the month?"

"Thinking about it Prime Minister, I heard and saw nothing. I'd been sent out into the other room."

"Excellent Megan. You will be signed on by the 31st of this month, that I promise."

Gerry showed out the happy Megan who all but kissed him. He dragged his sobbing wife to the sofa in the lounge, gave her a couple of friendly pats as one would give to the family dog. He made her day better be making her a pot of tea, delivered along with milk, sugar she never had, and her favorite cup but with non-matching saucer.

In his study and able to focus, Gerry first read the damning article properly and groaning at wild claims bound to shed votes from the Government by the truckload, comforted himself with a wild thought perhaps he could send in a Bureau team to trash the editorial floor and blow up the presses of the treacherous Guardian. He then looked at the largely concealed body caught in grotesque foul action under his disgusting wife. Who was she? Would he ever find out? Should he instruct the Bureau director to have his bitch of a wife taken in for the full works? After some roughing up she could be given the choice of spitting up truthfully the woman's name or suffer being ejected from the underground HQ with permanent disfigurement and perhaps gang raped. Ah, no. Not rape. The sick bitch could feel martyred after that. He went off to the shower, feeling dirty.

Just as the President pounded his body with a hail of cold water he heard the shrill blast of his red phone. Leaving the shower running he hurried to his study and took the call from the Bureau director. 

"I won't say good morning because obviously it won't be."

"That's true, sick bitch."

The director asked, "Can you give me a name?"

"No. Haven't a clue. I really like her so find it difficult to thrash it out of her."

A pause and then, "Well all is not lost. May we have Lady Fitzroy down here for a wee chat?"

"Why."

"During our raid on the Guardian we seized the original pictures."

"Great, what have you got?"

"What we see from the published picture but the untouched originals show it a lot clearer. Magnolia obviously has an exceptionally long tongue. The sick bitch she's with obviously is Caucasian, big-boned so that makes her tall and thus eliminating 80% of women and not overly fleshy so bang goes more women, rather narrowing it down. We went to examine the color of her bush but the unhelpful bitch totally shaves but that narrows down the parameters even further."

"I see and that's it?"

"Yes, apart from the ace."

"The ace?"

"Yes, a real clue -- the bra. My female agents tell me its expensive and rather exclusive -- imported."

"Don't we import all bras?"

"I wouldn't know being a bachelor. But the PM has authorized the investigation and two of my girls are off as soon as the shops open. They are confident the bra has come from France, possibly Italy. They say with the clear photograph a lingerie specialist will be about to tell them cup size and probably who made the offending apparel."

"Offending?"

"Careful choice of word to indicate I'm sympathetic to you."

"Oh right, thank you. Anything else?"

"We should have enough by the end of the day to provide you with a name."

"Gee, you guys are good. What do we do when we have the other woman identified?"

"Depends on you Mr President. We could sent her out to sea alone in a boat that 'accidentally' explodes or go easy on her and just accept a thrashing from her husband. Depends who she is, doesn't it?"

"You might even like her as a pet."

"Mr President, I'm gay."

"Oh, are you? I didn't know that but then I'm not the Bureau. Actually that would be total humiliation for her."

"Oh Mr President!"

"Oh yeah, with the stress I'm nothing thinking straight. There is no need to humiliate you David er I mean Ralph."

"Thank you sir. Will be in contact about progress."

Gerry checked on his wife and she opened her eyes, surprise to see him nude although he did not appear to be primed. She pulled at the elastic of her panties and cooed, "Come to mommy darling."

Stalking from the room ready to puke Gerry had a mind change before reaching the bathroom. He returned to the lounge where she'd napped waiting for Gerry to finish business with his visitor. He closed the door behind him and said in a childlike voice, "Hello mommy."

Later Gerry remembered he should call Kitty to apologize for Internal Security tailing her and phone tapping her.

Kitty snarled, "Well as an innocent citizen I demand an apology.

"The Bureau has to act on accusations of treason."

"So what? I demand a fulsome apology from you. 

"Well, I apologize fulsomely. Oh, by the way, that wasn't you under my wife in that photo in the Guardian was it?"

He grinned as Kitty foulmouthed him and cut the connection.

* * *

Kitty laughed almost hysterically as she returned to her office. That question from the Gerry was delivered in such a sick way it was a real laugh. Fancy the weasel able to think that one up all by himself. Magnolia had made a couple of full-on passes at her but Kitty had wriggled out, thinking more of the consequences of being found out rather than the immorality of having sex with her boss's wife. Magnolia was such a lush that she was probably a real expert. She wondered who the woman was -- the bra could be pivotal to her identify in the absence of confessions. She called Isobel Martin.

"Hi Izzy, it's Kitty calling on personal businesses. Still busy covering tits and asses expensively?"

"Hi Kitty. Is this truly a personal call?"

"Yes, truly. I was calling to ask if you had a couple of hard-ass women from National Security call on you?"




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 01



"Yes."

"Then be careful what you say to me as your phone may be tapped. Was the wearer of the bra a client?"

"No. But her lover is."

"You recognize the brand and know the size?"

"Yes, but I said I recognized the brand but I did not stock it and had no intention of helping them to run down the poor woman who was only having some fun. I got away with it."

"Well, so far."

"Oh shit."

"Just keep your mouth shut. The investigators will be good enough to find out without your help and that let's you off the hook. Now, think very carefully before answering this question in code. Who do you think she was?"

"They'll track her down as it's the most expensive bra every imported here. It was modeled at the autumn fund-raiser."

"Oh good one Izzy. Twenty-two hundred women attended the events center that night and that item failed to attract a high enough bid."

"True, but next day the lady we know who drunkenly claimed to have been balled by a man who wears robes with a touch of purple purchased that bra next day."

"What!"

"Bit of a laugh, don't you think?"

Kitty laughed and said just as well she was sitting down. "That is truly amazing. Ohmigod." She knew it was a top clergyman with a reputation for philandering.

"Exactly darling. Keep your breasts looking good. We unpack new season's shipment on Friday morning." 

"Will call Friday. Bye."

Chapter 3

Adjusting a bra strap, Kitty called a private number. "Meet me in ten minutes where you tried to shaft me when I was twenty."

"Can't," he whispered. "I'm chairing a finance committee meeting."

"Be there. I'm worth it," Kitty said cutting the call.

Okay, their phones were bugged and both of them were under surveillance. But Jim Gee would also have the brains to work that out. It was important they were not seen making contact. Kitty raced off making various twists and turns, went up ten floors in an elevator and took the next elevator down. She entered a restaurant, leaving immediately via the kitchen, rode a cab for two blocks and ordered the driver to do a wheelie and roar down the near empty street for three blocks and turn left where she jumped out, throwing two twenties at him as she ran into an alley. Kitty branched off in another alley and arrived behind King Towers Apartments, the site of which was previously occupied by a movie theatre. In the alley behind it she leaned against the wall where a fumbled attempt at removing her panties all those years ago took place.

Someone came up panting and she relaxed, recognizing him.

"You remember this spot after all those years ago," grinned Jim Gee.

"Sixteen years and, I think, three months and three weeks. You obviously remembered where to come."

"Ah yes. May I kiss you?"

She nodded and their sunglasses steamed over because both were panting.

"You remain a great kisser," he said solemnly and she said she knew that and asked had he become any more expert at removing panties.

Still panting he grinned but ignored the jibe. "I ran such a twisting route I almost lost myself. Great news thought, Chase wants out, alleging I've become cold. We'd done eight months together but I guess I ran cold after reuniting with you but unfortunately, as yet, not sexually."

"Look, no time to waste. It's a shocking tip. I'll swear this is true because when it comes to lingerie my source is infallible."

Kitty thought Jim turned white when she told him the name. "Infallible you said."

She nodded. "But there's one way to get confirmation."

"Ask her? If won't work. She's one hard-ass dame."

"No, go to the weakest link."

"Lady Fitzroy?"

Kitty snorted and said dryly, "I wasn't aware it was a threesome." She reached up and wiped little drops of sweat from his brow and he kissed her fingers briefly before she pulled them away and scolded, "I'm not having sex with you until Chase really has left you."

"It's under negotiation between lawyers."

"I can guess, you wanting to give her nothing and she wanting millions."

Jim frowned and said he'd made a reasonable offer and she was clawing for two million. "The lawyers expect resolution by the end of this month."

"Goodie for you. Hassle Magnolia but get her alone. Say you won't reveal the name and when she finally goes to throw you out give her the name and watch her face. Then keep up the pressure and she'll crack and then ask her for proof. Say once it's out a rug will be thrown over the whole affair."

Jim frowned, watching Kitty's breasts heaving from the kissing, or was it the running? "She won't fall for that?"

"She'll be so unsettled she won't know what to think or believe. Just squeeze for proof."

Proud of his expertise, Jim snapped, "I know to do that."

"I bet you get bitchy with Chase just like that."

Jim looked appalled. "Oh Kitty, I'm under immense pressure but that's no excuse to snap at you. You're are helping me colossally."

"I've not heard that word used that way before?"

He grinned and then switched to a very dark look. "If I publish information that's proved to be sensationally false, then I'm done for as a publisher as well as an editor."

"Alternatively you become the hero of the nation."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Now off you go and mind you, do try to publish the truth."

He banged against her lips, their teeth clashing.

"Oh shyte, sorry."

"It's okay, back to how you kissed clumsily sixteen years ago."

"Bitch," he said fondly. "Where's my jacket?"

"Back in your office I should think. Are you sure you are competent enough to handle a hot exposé like this?"

"Bitch," he sighed, and was off, hearing her call, "Please don't use that awful male word on me ever again."

Kitty stood for a moment thinking of him spread over her nude, grunting, the little grunts sounding almost as if he were saying, bitch, bitch, bitch. Oh the darling boy, she sighed, clamping her thighs together before walking out of the alley into a stiff northerly breeze, mission accomplished. She looked down at her pretty blue dress wondering what she'd worn all those sixteen years ago when the frisky young guy, too inexperienced for his own good...and she still too nervous about gaining too much experience too quickly, Kitty sighed. The jerk then took up with the very experienced Valda Young.

* * *

At 4:25 am next mornings later, the director of the Bureau arrived with two associates and handed the Prime Minister the folded newspaper.

"It's horrendously bad Mr President. Sit down before you open the paper."

Gerry unfolded the paper ready to puke. But as soon as he read part of the screamer headline on page 3 he began to grin: 

Wives of Political Chiefs Real Chums

"Want us to blow up their printing presses and torture him?"

"No. Get your woman here to pull my wife out of bed and bring her to me. She won't be dressed but will love you guys eyeing her."

"But Mr President, I..."

"Get it done Ralph."

The director nodded and the female agent returned with Magnolia, totally undressed, who was rubbing her eyes. She yawned and asked, "This must be important darling to humiliate me like this?"

"Oh, that," Magnolia said, looking at the disclosure, the naming of Gaye Struthers, wife of the Leader of the Opposition as 'the woman who was licked into frenzy by the wife of our President'. You don't look too displeased."

"I'm not, I'm about to turn this into a political triumph."

"I suppose that means were are to divorce?"

Gerry rubbed his stubble and pretended to look as if he'd just been given good advice. "Oh darling, what a wonderful suggestion. Of course I'll release you to allow you to enjoy a full life of debauchery."

Magnolia looked startled. "What a crazy idea. I love you daddy." 

She was ignored. Instead the President asked his wife how did the newspaper scumbag get the name.

"He arrived with it here yesterday afternoon."

"That's crap," Gerry said, slapping Magnolia's face. 

The visitors grinned and the director advised. "Not the face Mr President, the public doesn't accept women being hit on the face or breasts."

"Where then, I don't wish to hurt myself."

"A kick up the ass is fairly safe," ventured the woman agent.

Gerry threw up his hands in frustration and sat down. "No stand where you are Magnolia, I haven't finished with you. How the fuck did Jim Gee have your lover's name when the Bureau didn't get it until early evening?"

"Because he's more competent?" But eyeing the surly looks Magnolia said, "It was just a thought guys. Perhaps he got lucky?"

"Tell us what happened Magnolia."

"He called and said could we meet for late lunch. I said I'd already eaten but he was welcome to drop over for a drink."

"What, you offered a drink to the asshole after what he's done to you and especially to me?"

Magnolia looked offended. She told her husband that actually the scumbag was rather nice, quite a gentleman.

"So you offered it to him?"

"Oh no, he didn't appear interested in me sexually despite...er...not interested."

Gerry yelled, "You slut. Keep going about the name."

"Well, he politely asked me the name of my lover and showed me eight photographs."

"What another six?"

"Yes, six and the two published total eight." 

That left the President a little red in the face.

"Figuratively we thrust and parried but it became a little tiresome so I told him to piss off."

"You told him to leave."

"That's what I said, I practically threw him out but he was too quick for me. I was unable to get my hands on him."

Gerry appeared ready to throttle her. "And then?"

"On the doorstep he asked was it Gaye Struthers and I laughed and told him of course and that I knew he'd known her name all the time."

Gerry groaned something about dumb blondes including dyed blondes. "And then he left?"

"Yes, after asking him for proof of confirmation. I got snotty at him for not believing me and fetched my camera phone on which I had stored nine or ten exposures of Gaye undressing and then undressing me and a couple of, well, rather restricted shots."

The Bureau director turned white. "Where is your camera phone now?"

"Oh he got me interested in talking about sexual gratification and he drove off with my phone."

"What!" yelled both men.

"Ah, he stole your phone?" said the director, rubbing his hands.

"Not exactly."

The two men looked at each other and groaned.

Rather rattled Magnolia whimpered, "He'd asked to borrow the phone and I replied only if he persuaded me there was good reason for me to agree to that. He said he wanted to hold the phone with its evidence in safe custody in case he and his newspaper were accused of making up the naming of Gaye. He promised not to reveal the existence of the proof unless the claim was denied and he was threatened with arrest. That sounded a good reason to me because I thought he was too nice a man to be jailed with criminals."

"Wait here Magnolia. I'll be in my study talking to the director."

In the study the President ordered the director to call off the two surveillance teams and remove all evidence of phone taps and shred all records relating to the case.

Ralph asked was the President certain about that and any order would have to be confirmed by the PM.

"Get it done Ralph. There could be uproar in Parliament this afternoon if I mismanage. I'll be ordering the dissolution of the present Parliament and calling for new elections in six months. Another resolution from me will call for the country to be run by an Executive Council comprising the Prime Minister and his Ministers and led by myself plus Alf Struthers being appointed as deputy leader of the executive, being leader of the largest Opposition Party."

"Why a delay of six months before the new election?"

"To allow the Government's spin merchants to come up with new images of the executive as being worthy leaders of the next generation of governance of this country. It will be a convenient period to give Alf and me time to divorced our oversexed wives."

"Oh, brilliant Mr President. And you'll want us to wipe out Alf and all other principal opponents to the PM and his party candidates on the eve of the new elections?"

"No Ralph, a great idea but please don't lose sight of the fact that we are a democracy."

"Yes, of course Mr President."

* * *

Gerry went in to his office suite and called Kitty into his office and closed the door.

"I take it you're still unhappy with me?"

"Exactly."

"Were you tied in with this astonishing revelation about the other woman?"

"What do you think?"

Gerry winced and said Kitty could be so difficult at times. "But it's all over now. Before the day ends the Prime Minister will formerly dissolve Parliament and announce details of the interim government, an Executive Council and new elections after six months."

"Smart move waiting for six months. That gives your parliamentary pals to bolster their images and for you to regain the confidence of the people."

"Yes, smart thinking. But that's why I pulled you into the Public Service and had you groomed to become my private secretary."

"Are you certain you are legally entitled to chair the Executive Council?"

"Yes, and the Chief Justice has confirmed that as being legal during a time of declared Civil Emergency. At other times I am bound to maintain only an advisory role to my Government 

Gerry rubbed his chin. "Ah Kitty, would you consider becoming my next wife?"

"No," said Kitty. "You should consider standing by the wife you have."

"You cow."

"Well, I will be out of your hair soon. Remember you have accepted my resignation and I leave at the end of the month."

"I want you out of my sight within the next hour. I'll have you released on full pay -- an email should be with you shortly from Parliamentary Services authorizing your immediate departure."

"Goodbye Gerry."

"I guess there's no chance of you coming in having one over my desk?"

Kitty smiled and said he never was good at guessing the answer he expected.

"Goodbye Kitty. I'll attempt to make sure if you're ever to work again you'll have to go overseas to find someone willing to hire you."

"Enjoy life with a new Parliament opposed to you Gerry."

Gerald sat glumly. A hopeful reason for appointing her was to bonk her but she kept her legs crossed and she'd proven she had political depth and communicating skills and had emerged as an award-winning political journalist. To his amazement she'd turned out to be incredibly good at her job. She'd saved his butt many times and knew he had to find someone else in her class, preferably someone who thought favorably at becoming the plaything of the President. That media woman Megan would be no good -- he'd get her processed but conveniently she'd fail on the intelligent test and would show up as a security risk. Heh-heh-heh. Oh he was such a rotten sod, Gerry yawned, thinking little wonder according to the bishops resplendent in their white and purple robes and all seeking knighthoods, the entire country was in moral decline.

Now clear of oppressiveness of the political morass, Kitty sat on a park bench and called Jim Gee.

"Hi, can you call back later. I'm chairing a disciplinary meeting involving three executives."

"No -- call a five-minute recess. I'll hold."

Kitty scowled away a guy with his huge grin shaped like a question and then Jim was back on-line.

"Hi again, got more hot tips for me or are you fretting for one?"

"You filthy man. Have a full team in the gallery and photographers on hand. The President will seek dissolution of Parliament this afternoon and call an election when his divorce is finalized in six months. Meanwhile the country will be ruled by an Executive Council."

"Current Ministers with himself as chairman no doubt."

"Yes, that's correct. Plus the leader of the Opposition."

Jim almost shouted. "Wow, that's radical. Aiming for a united front in case the PM fails to get the numbers and is forced to rule by coalition, thereby weakening his support of the President?"

"I would think so."

Jim warned Kitty that she was busily breaking the Official Secrets Act."

"I know."

"Likely imprisonment."

"Let them try. I am currently working out my resignation."

"I know and good for you, but remember the muzzling provisions of the Act run for seven years for someone in your position."

She laughed. "I have a good memory. For instance, I vividly remember you bumbling to pull down my knickers sixteen years ago."

"That's slander, I have little recollection."

"Liar."

"Is that all?"

"Apart from the fact that your public exposure has delighted the PM. He believes it's taken much of the heat off him and now his chief rival is up to his neck in it as well and that returns them to an even playing field."

"Thanks for that hot info. Dinner tonight -- the Press Club will be safe."

That wiped away Kitty's smugness. "I've told you..."

"Currently we are not sleeping in the same room and barely talking so it will be a relief to Chase and she won't have to face me over the dinner table."

"You two are gross. Why didn't you kick her out?"

"Because my attorney advised against that."

Kitty turned in the knife gleefully. "Oh, of course. It's to be all her fault."

"I've admitted being a bit difficult to live with."

Kitty laughed and said invite her to dinner after it was all over.

"This is a business dinner."

"Oh, I see. No attempt to maul?"

Jim's tongued clicked and he sighed. "I promise unless you decide to throw yourself at me."

"Fat chance of that happening. Press Club at 7:00?"

Jim said that would be fine.

To be Continued...



The President's Gay Wife Pt. 02



Chapter 4

A useless going-nowhere debate in the House over the alleged unconstitutional temporary suspension of Parliament was raging when Lord Fitzroy, immaculately dressed in a white suit and black tie, entered flanked by the senior and junior whips who escorted him to his presidential seat. Bedlam following until the Speaker shouted for order 'one last time'. The speaker then called for the President to make a short statement of clarity to the House. 

Even some Government members had expected the short speech would be an announcement of intent to voluntarily step down. Instead, Sir Gerald intoned:

It is said man cannot live by bread alone. Equally profound a man needs a wife. Following the untimely death of my first wife, whom this nation so dearly loved, I sought a suitable replacement and it seems due to my naivety about the sexuality of women I made a wee mistake. But should I be lambasted for that? Oh come on. How many of you, Mr Speaker, have screwed up over women or a man? (A murmur swept the House.) If my wife decides to sunbath discretely in the company of an illustrious female friend of high standing then so be it and if you believed doctored up evidence to the contrary, so be it. Now please, put aside your screwed up concepts on morality and let's get on with our democratic system of running his nation in a style that is the envy of all other nations.

And now, Mr Speaker, I move to another matter of greater importance. Since I've arrived back into the country Parliament has been in recess until parliamentarians were called together today. I have taken advice from my Prime Minister and the Attorney General and have been in consultation with the judiciary and the leader of the main opposition party. My decision is that as from 6:00 pm today Parliament will be dissolved on presidential decree and a General Election held on October 24, six months from today. All parliamentarians will remain on full salary until declaration of election results and the swearing in of the new Government. In that intervening period this country will be run by an Executive Council chaired by your President. Both measures I have outlined are in accordance to the Constitution during a Civil Emergency that I now officially declare is in effect as soon as this sitting of Parliament ends late this afternoon.

Thank you Mr Speaker.

The President sat amid stunned silence as MPs groped for understanding. They were aware of rumor that the country would be run by an Executive Council pending new elections. Where was the humble apology and offer to step down for being party to gravely shocking the nation and leaving its good name around the globe in tatters? The deputy PM clapped enthusiastically and still partly shocked members of the four parties represented in Parliament clapped mildly and then waited sullenly for the Speaker to resume formalities of business as set down on the Order Paper with the addition of the final matter, the formal notice of dissolution of the present Parliament.

Grinning and composing the heading for the Press Release, 'President Not Censored by Impressed MPs', Gerry reached for his phone and waited for the ass of his private secretary to exit through the door of the packed public gallery before calling her.

"Hi, little darling. Your speech was sensational."

"Thank you Mr President," Kitty said dully. "I only briefed the speech writer."

"I know, I know Kitty and you probably rewrote and edited it. But a million thanks. Forget the grief I caused you."

"Is that an apology?"

"Yes, were you expecting more?"

"Rather a lot more."

"I can go away with you this weekend?"

"I was thinking of a fulsome apology, not even greater punishment Mr President."

Kitty went to a downtown bar near her apartment at 4:00 to find everyone grouped around the TV watching the final proceedings after the President had announced the dissolution of Parliament. She thought none of them were interested in politics but sex plus politics was a different story. She settled in for the remainder of the afternoon but at 4.35 it was all over. Sir Max the Prime Minister had conferred with the Speaker beforehand and everything went his way. One of the minor parties moved the President and the Leader of the Opposition be censored for allowing their wives to behave in such a disgusting manner but the Speaker, very correctly, ruled that neither leaders could be held responsible for the free-will actions of their wives and also it was not relative to political debate. "This whole matter has been the subject of press speculation and doubtful photography and questionable identification. Therefore I rule any comment on that matter in the meantime is inadmissible."

The Prime Minister put his two motions and after pathetic debate they were passed, without amendment, with most parliamentarians excited by the prospect of six months' paid holiday. It would be left to the media to bray about 'the misuse of the parliamentary system and an appalling chapter of events that had led to this erosion of democracy', or words to that effect.

Kitty went home and went to sleep in a bubble bath, waking in time to paint her nails and trim her lower hair in case she became lax and decided to make Jim Gee lucky. Acting on information she'd received she called her occasional boyfriend.

"Hi Gavin, how's Tricia?"

"Oh Kitty, hi. I haven't seen Tricia for yonks."

"I heard she was with you at the Top People in Business awards on Saturday night?"

"Oh yes, so she was."

"And at the opening of the refurbished Orange Cinema Complex."

"Oh yeah."

"I can see you have no need for me Gavin."

Kitty was asked to give him a break but she said Gavin knew she couldn't stand Tricia.

"So it's goodbye?"

"Sharp thinking Gavin. Goodbye."

Walking out to flag down a cab, Kitty said to herself, 

'Oh, clearing the way to move in with Jim Gee are we?"

'Shut your mouth slut. It's called repositioning.'

'If you last eight months I'll be surprised.'

'Well, no one was asking you. There always are men around who are afraid of marriage.'

'But Jim Gee is not one of those is he darling? You read in a magazine interview that he was just waiting to find the right chick.'

'Butt out you slut.'

The third attempted wave down succeeded in stopping a cab.

"Where to ma'am?"

"It's Miss actually. To the Press Club."

"You're tarted up a bit too much to mix with those women jurno lesbians."

Kitty was amused. "I wouldn't know what to do with a lesbian."

"Me neither. I guess if you just lay there quietly and uncomplaining..."

"I do that with some men and nothing happens."

"Miss, in that case may I..."

"Oh the weather, do you think it will rain?"

The cabbie said gruffly that it was already raining.

They continued on in silence.

Jim in jeans and a collarless white shirt bounded over to greet Kitty.

"May I kiss you?"

"Yes, keep your lips closed this time."

"Ouch, I guess I was a little eager down in the alley. How's this?"

"Oooh. One of those every night would be great."

Jim eyed Kitty thoughtfully and she wished she hadn't said that because men who weren't wimps didn't like being pushed. But when he replied she realized his mind was on something different.

"You are in danger dressed like that of being tossed out as it's midweek. Dress up is Saturdays and Sundays and special event nights midweek. 

"I'm sorry. I'll eat somewhere else where I'm appreciated."

"Please stay here and eat with me but come to the bar first where I have Amanda Royce with a photographer waiting to interview you. The President's office has refused to comment about your dismissal."

"Resignation."

"The President's military aide called it a dismissal."

"The bastard."

"Quite. By the way, I didn't realize you had grown such wonderful legs over the past sixteen years."

Undoing the zip of her little black dress Kitty said, "Let me strip now and get you over this gap in your knowledge about my physical appearance."

Jim handled her like a Mr Smoothie. "Darling, please. I have full membership of this club and you possess honorary membership, being a past president and for exceptional services rendered. To strip nude would to jeopardize our memberships. However, proceed if you wish and I'll finance the best legal defense I can assembly in the land."

"Oh darling, with Chase scrambling to cull as much of your money from you as she can, I would not like you to put you at great expense on my account. Please re-zip me."

The couple was photographed as they entered the bar crowded with journalist who focused on them as the flashlight went off. Jim and Kitty were cheerfully applauded.

"Great to see you with someone with class at last," a woman called. The males jeered her.

"Jim, that lush is out of your reach," slurred a guy. The women turned on him indignantly but backed off when he agreed to shout a round of drinks for everyone. Although the drinks were subsidized, that unwise shout cost the guy $110.60. Carrying their drinks, Amanda led Kitty out to the general lounge for an interview that lasted almost an hour. Amanda gave Jim a big wink when they returned.

In the dining room Kitty asked Jim, "What did the wink mean -- something to do with the interview or she thinks you are in luck tonight or both?"

"The smile was to wish me well and the wink was signaling a great story but it's so controversial I must be back at 11:30 to sign it off."

"Damn, so you don't get to inspect my legs tonight after all?"

"I thought you didn't want my pawing at you until Chase is history?"

"I don't, and thank you for respecting my wishes and for keeping me on-track."

* * * 

Jim Gee sat in his darkened office, leaning back on his chair, hands locked behind his head in the setup he called his 'contemplative pose'. The pose was not his of course, as he'd copied his father and paternal grandfather. 

Prominent men, especially those in influential positions, who honestly believed they were capable of achieving greater steps towards changing the world, used that pose. It never occurred to honest and upstanding men that gang leaders and drug-runners used the 'contemplative pose' although newspaperman Jim was one exception to not overlook that truth. Women spurned the position because they knew it would mess their hair and realign their breasts provocatively. Instead they filed their nails or went out and had an affair whenever they felt the need to contemplate, the panic after the indiscretion stimulating blood flow to the brain.

Jim's deep thought of the day was about his progress in life. He had accumulated knowledge, experience, money and prestige but the need to be a watchful cynic to excel at his craft required him to be a step back from other people to leave his mind clear, his ears finely tuned and eyes as sharp as a tack. Well yes, it tended to sound like bullshit. However he did tend to be fair, true and tough when he thought it necessary, hence his unflattering and he believe quite unfair title of Scurrilous Jim. He specialized in writing in a hard-line and lowbrow style, sparing no one and readily calling a fool a fool and insisting his reporters and other writers do likewise in wringing out the truth, or their version of it.

Deepening thoughts turned his forehead into a frown. He'd left a space in his life for what he termed chivalrously 'a good woman'. But these days they seemed as difficult to secure as 'good help' to clean the house. A string of heartless failures lay in his wake, suggesting he was hopeless as a romantic but in his heart he knew women existed who'd accept there was no need for him to change -- that they would take him how he was and take him often. Take him often: he smiled at that sneaky thought his mind had tacked on to that piece of deep reflection. 

Being hopeless as a romantic he'd thought Chase would emerge as 'the one' but with the crafty expertise that women appear to have as second nature she kept the fact that she was a selfish bitch and almost incapable of generating true love until weeks into their rocky relationship although it was true to say it was difficult to see the rocks for the sex initially. She should have known to leave when discovering she was unhappy but she'd stayed long enough to feel moneyed and comfortable and so found no incentive to wave goodbye. The torture of her mindless yapping and criticism of him finally became so distracting that he began the process of easing her from her comfortable nest.

And lo! During that process into his life returns a bright moth from his distant past -- Kitty. He'd blotted his copybook with her, Kitty being his only unsuccessful attempted seduction in an otherwise unbroken line of successful encounters. Carnal connection to half of the women of the city it would seem, he thought, er if one wished to boast grossly over the top. The more he thought about connecting carnally to Kitty the more her imaged floated in his mind like a bright moth until it became much more: he knew he was becoming passionate about Kitty. At that he almost tumbled out of his chair but fortunately leaning back made that impossible. Lo! His future lay in Kitty, er beside Kitty. Kitty had come to mind like this because in front of him lay a terse message from the President's office announcing Kitty Loveridge had been fired for dereliction of duties and insubordination.

Jim unclasped his hands, eased up straight and pushed the button and his PA the sweet Mrs Prebble swept in, always looking hopeful she'd be told to lock the door. The fool of an over-sexed woman seemed incapable of remembering she was married, thought Jim.

"Buzz Kristy and say I want Page 2 of Saturday's editions for myself and fetch coffee for us and stop all calls while for the next hour while I'll dictate my memories of Kitty as a eulogy for our President's departing private secretary. Yes, tell Kristy the heading will be, 'My Memories of Kitty'."

Mrs Prebble ran a hand over her left breast to catch the boss's attention. "God Jim, this is breaking new ground."

"Who else is in such a prime position to pay tribute to one of the greatest journalists, probably the greatest newspaper journalist, in this country's history post-independence?"

Although gripped in jealously, Mrs Prebble said with a wee bit of charm, "Well she's publicly denied it but still the reputation sticks. And all those awards must say something."

"True, but chop, chop -- call Kristy and come back with coffee and let's get started."

His PA stared at him, lips parted and she said passionately, "Ohmigod, Scurrilous Jim is in love."

Jim all but fell out of his chair.

* * *

Kitty was window shopping and was almost to the Parliament Compound when a car braked noisily just in front of her and a woman leapt out and ran in front of a parked vehicle to confront her.

"Come with us Miss Loveridge. No fuss please, this is a legal apprehension."

"Ah Skye, we meet at last," Kitty said, momentarily surprising the woman from the Bureau at being publicly identified. Kitty saw the guy that had emerged from the far side of their vehicle was almost up behind her.

"No, fuck off," Kitty yelled.

The guy behind her grabbed her hand and twisted it up behind Kitty. With her free hand Kitty ripped the front of her dress open and screamed, "Help!"

Two young guys in business suits reacted impressively and wrestled her assailant to the ground. Skye moved in and grabbed Kitty by the hair. Kitty screamed and a woman and a guy in tracksuits bounced up unnoticed behind Skye and slammed her into a parked vehicle. Skye fell heavily to the sidewalk and they sat on her. The gathering crowd closed in and an elderly woman handed Kitty a safety pin.

"I don't want to stick her with a pin, but thank you."

"No dear," smiled the woman. "It's to pin your dress closed. All the men can see your brassiere."

Back in her office Kitty looked up a private number and called the director of the Bureau.

"Hello Kitty."

"Oh Ralph, I'm sorry a couple of your agents were messed up attempting to curb my liberty."

"That's okay Kitty. They will be instructed to use a stun gun if there is to be a next time."

"Ralph darling, if you want information from me just invite me to lunch for a quiet chat and I'll cooperate fully. Gawd Ralph, I'm not an enemy of the State."

"What did you tell him Kitty?"

"Tell who?"

"Jim Gee."

"I spoke to him over the phone but because he wants to talk about a rumor that I've been fired. I told him your Bureau would be interested in me now that I'm not longer under the protection of the President. Mr Gee wasn't interested and he wouldn't want to know me because he already is in a liaison with some woman who apparently packs too much punch for him. Is he under investigation?"

"I'll think about lunch if there is a next time Kitty. I'll run out of agents otherwise. The two you tangled with today are at accident and emergency."

"But I didn't touch them Ralph, truly."

"Very cute. I have been advised what happened. Walk and talk lightly Kitty. It's for your own good."

Kitty ran the tape she'd made of that call but the playback was Gibberish. She wiped the tape thinking how gross. National Security with that sort of technology to make recordings of their calls unplayable simply wasn't playing fair.

Chapter 5

Next morning, an hour after Sir Gerald suffered acidic reflux reading page 1 and page 5 of the Guardian about his private secretary walking out on him, Kitty read the articles on the way to the airport. The story beside that illustration quoted Kitty as hotly disputing the claim she'd been fired. "I resigned as I'd had enough of the President's dictatorial ways and his appalling attitude towards women whom he regards as he would a piece of meat. His poor wife Lady Fitzroy is being treated like a leper rather than being taken into his arms and comforted and promised from now on he'll give her more attention. Instead the bast—d is planning to divorce her and align with his chief political opponent to lessen the public backlash. No doubt his rival is also contemplating divorce to wipe the slate clean. Those poor women."

The front page a picture of Kitty was taken during the visit of the British Prime Minister two months earlier when on his way to a cricket test match is some other former colony. She loved it and sighed. It was at a cocktail party at the British High Commission, a full portrait shot, taken just of her, turned slightly left to face the camera, clutching her evening bag cutely across her waist. She was in an ice-blue silk dress with sequins and multi-level hem and obviously no bra and someone had pushed a red hibiscus flower behind her ear. She had thought she'd looked good that night, in fact several women including Lady Fitzroy had said she'd looked sensational, and although the commercial photographer had promised to send her a print she never did.

The double line caption over the photo read: 

Is Our PM Nuts, Allowing This Honey to Walk Out on Him?

Anxiously reading the caption, Kitty was relieved to find it was factual; she was named as Lord Fitzroy's extremely competent private secretary who'd chosen to resign on the day triggering the dissolution of the current session of Parliament.

Kitty turned to page 5 and screamed, "Amanda you bitch!"

"Okay Miss Loveridge?" called the cabbie.

"You know me?"

"Only from reading today's Guardian. I thought you looked great in that under-sized bikini.

Kitty said defensively, having just looked at the objectionable photograph of her, mumbled, "I'd put on weight since the previous swimming season."

"Weight in the right places obviously."

She didn't answer. The interview, pictures and secondary story took up all of page 5. She was spilling out of her bikini top, her nipples were prominent and, "Oh God", she cringed, looking at the distinct shape of her vulva outlined under the material under stretch. The other photo was a close-up of her squinting along the barrel of a sniper's rifle on 'Open Day' for politicians and their senior support staff at the Army Base. Her tongue drooped from her mouth insanely. Well thought Kitty, attempting to simulate an insane tongue flop, at least that photo keeps me in proper perspective with folk ogling the bikini shot.




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 02



The smaller story was her critical assessment of her boss as a person and as President. Amanda was accurate and fair in her report, concluding with a very satisfying quote, "I truly think Lord and Lady Fitzroy are architects of their own misfortunes." Readers would know that simple statement left so much unsaid. She actually left the clear impression that the President was quite a nice guy apart from being over-sexed and paranoid about internal and border security.

* * *

Waiting to board her aircraft Kitty took a call from Megan, principal media officer in the Prime Minister's Department. She'd never liked Megan the back-stabber so decided to tell her nothing.

"Hi, it's Meg. Where are you?"

"Just resting. I've resigned you know."

"I know. The PM wants to talk to you."

"Why are you really calling me Meg or should I say Megan?"

The phone clicked, putting Kitty on immediate alert. The PM wanted to personally warn her, 'Shut your mouth or else!" She had a decision to make -- continue on course or to run and hide?

Watching the people boarding a British Airways huge jet she'd decided to keep to her present plan which was to lay on sunny beaches beyond the political morass that currently gripped Oceanpacifica. She opened her carry-on bag and took out a lightweight stole and tied it like a headscarf to conceal her distinctive hair, now colored pale blonde. The baby blue eyes were covered by fashionable very dark eyewear. The outgoing jumbo was almost loaded when she saw four nondescript people -- two of them women -- racing towards that departure lounge. She recognized one of the women, Skye, so they were from the Bureau. She smiled, hearing her flight called. With luck she'd be up and away in the 12-seater jet-prop while the agents, on finding she was not listed as a passenger on the big jet, would be debating whether to search the aircraft or look elsewhere. Although she hadn't told Megan she was at the airport, in answering the call her phone would have revealed its proximity to the telecommunication repeater tower at the airport.

"You bitch Megan. Oh, just following orders huh?"

Within minutes she was being taken much closer to the equator to Sunny Island, favored place for short vacations for moneyed people in her country. In Colonial times it had been her country's penal island for the more serious felons of Mother England and was called Hell Island. She decided to extend her stay another week to two weeks so by the time she returned the PM would have cancelled his order for her to be detained as he'd have more important matters on his mind like having the President running the country. 

* * *

Sitting at the breakfast table eyeing his wife's bare breast jutting through the gap in her dressing gown, Gerry wondered whether a replacement woman would be far superior. For a start it was unlikely she would be as sexy as Magnolia, at least not long-term. He only had to touch Magnolia and she was all over him, and the damn woman often came after him when he felt bushed but she quickly had him rejuvenated through her willful ways.

Magnolia turned to Page 2 of the Guardian. "Oh here's a story by the editor about your most hated woman of the moment -- well, after me of course."

"What woman?"

"Kitty Loveridge you dope."

Attempting to relax to prevent a bile attack, Sir Gerald said, "You better not read it to me."

"Why not?" Magnolia said, putting a bare foot on to his lap and jiggling it. Gerald was about to sling it away when he was diverted.

"I don't think it's about you. Jim Gee -- what an awful name -- is recalling memories of her and her exploits."

"What -- he was bonking her?"

"I would think so darling -- even you must have been tempted."

Sir Gerald commanded his wife to read the damn article to him and without thinking he began massaging her foot.

Magnolia was weeping when she finished. "Kitty is such an awesome women. If only I could be like her, even something like her."

That gave the President an idea but first he took his weeping near-ex wife to bed to comfort her.

* * *

Tanned, fit and sexually replenished by a Texan footballer she'd played around with excessively on Sunny Island, Kitty entered the airport with nine other fellow passengers to hear someone call, "Good morning Miss Loveridge."

"Oh hi Skye. Oh shit."

"Come quietly Kitty and then I won't have to rearrange you pretty face. It's just for a private chat with the PM -- in his office, not at our HQ."

"Are you sure?"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

Looking at a dark look creeping on to the face of Muscle Woman, Kitty promised to cooperate. "Call me Kitty Skye."

"Okay but don't call me Skye in front of other people. Bureau people are not supposed to be known by anyone."

"Oh you poor darling. That's not a satisfactory role for a woman."

"Are you coming on to me as a gay?"

Kitty fought back laugher. "Hell no Skye. Neither of us is gay. You're with the Bureau because it legally allows you to beat up men."

Skye look around wildly and then whispered, "Who told you that?"

"I'm one of those brainy women you've heard about Skye, but don't worry, your confirmed little secret is safe with me."

"You make me nervous."

Kitty laughed and asked Skye who was her hairdresser."

"What are they?"

The two women collected Skye's bags and had an intense conversation on the drive to Parliament about hair, make-up, correct fitting bras and how easy it was to get time off from work by saying to a male boss 'I have period pain."

"But I never have pain."

"I ought to have guessed that Skye, but just use those four secret words when you want some time off."

The PM clutched his left chest when he saw Kitty approaching. She was dressed in a white shirt, lacy top of her bra showing, high-cut pink shorts and pink sneakers.

"God you look great, oh the tan. Is it everywhere?"

"Yes, not that you will be invited to inspect it in other places."

Sir Max coughed and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, indicating to Kitty the conversation was being recorded.

"What's the situation with Lady Fitzroy?"

"Still under threat of ejection but that's what I want to talk to you about. Lord Fitzroy and I think she could be reconditioned by you because she admires you greatly."

"Reconditioned is something one does to engines isn't it? Don't you mean reprogrammed or better still given a complete makeover through rehab?"

"I do if you so say."

"Ohmigod, you think you're in danger of being hammered at the General Election."

The PM clapped both hands across his left chest, bent forward and wheezed, "Yes. There has been a public decline in support of the President and I've received some of that fallout."

"Because you are always publicly seen to be licking his ass?"

"Kitty!" the PM said frantically, pointing at the light fitting above Kitty's chair.

Grinning, Kitty said, "You think if Lady Fitzroy actually becomes a lady then women of this country will rally and tip the vote the President's way and you'll benefit because he backs you?"

"Yes Kitty, you read me like a book."

"Yes, books are just as useless as you with no heart and no soul."

"Aw, come on Kitty. Give a guy a break."

"I'm not wet-nursing you to give you another three years at attempting to wreck the country."

"What if I pleaded?"

"You and the President only ever plead for one thing -- sex from women who despise you."

"I've also pleaded for sex from you."

"As I said, from women who despise you."

"Oh Kitty, no need to put the boot in."

Kitty's face changed and she said she supposed she could try because she had no replacement job in sight. "I'd hate to think that if I refused the task it could mean Magnolia being bundled back to a pub in some hole in England."

"Yes, but with a couple of million dollars."

"Yes, but that only takes care of shopping. A woman has need for other things."

"Oh really?"

Kitty said she was off to settle back into her apartment. She'd call on Magnolia at 4:00.

"How do you know she'll be home at 4:00?"

"Knowing Gerry, she will have been told she's under house arrest and he scared her shitless by saying it's believe she could become the victim of public stoning."

"Damn you Kitty, you should be working for the Bureau with a mind like yours. Take the mommy role and you'll be retained on your old salary plus conditions plus a 20% increase in pay." 

* * *

After unpacking, Kitty called Chase Menzies. 

As soon at Kitty had identified herself Chase attacked her. "You bitch -- he's in love with you."

"Jim doesn't know the meaning of love."

Chase burst into tears and said he'd found love and surely she knew that.

"How would I know -- I've been out of the country?"

"T-then you wouldn't h-have read it?"

Kitty looked at her phone and frowned and then put it back to her ear. "Read what?"

"His eulogy."

"Look Chase, this is getting us nowhere. I was calling you to invite you to late lunch."

"Why?"

"Jim's made it quite clear he wants to fill my groove. This goes back to unfinished business when we were both twenty, second year at varsity. Once he gets what he wants I'll be another caste-off like the rest of you but I've said he's not having me while you are still around. I don't do married men or men in fixed relationships."

"So how is lunch going to change anything?"

"I want to talk to you about managing your exit."

"So he's put you up to this?"

"I haven't spoken to him for three weeks and before that I made no suggestion about that to him and even now it's none of his business until I'm engaged to mediate."

"I have little money to pay you."

"I don't want your money, I just want you out of the way."

Chase sniffed and said that was a heartless thing to say.

"I'm a bitch so I must be heartless."

Chase said oh yeah. Well other people would not agree with that, Jim for one.

Kitty said politely she could not imagine Jim talking to Chase about her.

"Quite right, he hasn't. But I'll bring his eulogy with me."

"Don't bother but let's eat somewhere classy and dress up."

Chase said the City Club was really classy but they would have to be members.

"I'm not a member but my father was a foundation member and was patron for twenty years until his death. We'll eat there. I'll be outside your apartment building at 1:00 in a cab. Don't be late.

Both blondes, hair piled up and competing to be wearing the shortest little black dress made quite a sensation when they entered the club's dining room, breaking the rule that males must escort women. But as they were shown to the top VIP table by the club's manager, the chairman of the Port Company shouted, "It's Kitty Loveridge!" All the older members who fondly recalled the great Tommy Loveridge stood and clapped and almost everyone followed their example. Those who didn't know who Tommy Loveridge was knew who Kitty Loveridge was as she'd been a recent newsmaker in the city.

"God, you're famous," Chase said, most impressed. "Has that guy with the moustache who identified you been fucking you?"

"He's married," Kitty snapped. "He's Bill Lancer, chairman of the Port Company, my late father's successor." She asked Chase to order the wine of her choice and 'something salmon' for her while she buried into the article.

* * *

Chase looked at the bowed almost chestnut head across from her, believing she was in the company of the imminent Mrs Jim Gee. Gawd, what would Kitty think of Kitty Gee as a name!

Was she jealous? No because no way could she spend a lifetime with the guy who was two distant for her comfort and she knew that would never change. Kitty wouldn't fret because those two were rather alike. They were not the types to live in each other's pockets and were in selfish pursuit of extracting utmost enjoyment from their careers and both were at the top of the tree, even Kitty who'd confessed on the way to the club that she was currently unemployed. Then why hadn't she gone to Jim to become a new political columnist or whatever? Oh for sure, she hadn't because she had the same drive and independent streak and wouldn't ask anyone for a crumb unless she were forced to beg. 

Anyway, Kitty wouldn't make the mistake she'd made thinking she simply had to stay at home, serve Jim late dinner and open her legs and spend his money. She had wallowed in that self-appreciating lifestyle for almost six weeks before yawning and realizing she was becoming bored. She complained and he said she should find a job. She'd snapped he should find her one at the newspaper and he'd sent her into tears by saying no, no way, because if they split she could stay on at the newspaper as an embarrassing reminder for them both of their failure in their personal relationship. Oh God, men could be so brutal.

Chase drank steadily, aware she'd been consuming more alcohol since the gradual disintegration of the relationship and now both she and Jim were conscious that progress towards her exit settlement had virtual ground to a stop. Fucking attorneys, what was their incentive to hurry things along towards ending the inflow of fat fees?

Switching to water Chase suddenly jumped as she felt Kitty's warm hand on her wrist. Oh God, was Kitty gay?

"Chase, I am so sorry," Kitty said and Chase was astonished to see real concern. "He had no right to write like this, not when living with another woman."

"I-I didn't read him saying anything romantic and that little incident he related in the alley behind the old movie theatre would disgust some women readers and the few righteous men around."

"True but it's the tone, all the way through. He portrayed me a little like a biographer writing about Princess Diana and missing out all the bad bits. It's flattering but he's glossed over all the bad bits -- it's simply a recollection of highlights and written with a syrupy touch."

"But the panel lists all your awards in journalism."

"Oh poof -- other people win awards."

"He says you are dismissive about yourself, just like you are now I bet."

"Oh the wine, I've not touched my wine. Oh great choice Chase. Are the lawyers feeding at the trough or are they drawing you two to conclusion?"

"What? Oh, my exit settlement? It's very much fixed at the trough," Chase giggled.

They had a great two hours together.

* * *

Kitty called security at the gates to the President's residence only to be told, "Lady Fitzroy is running towards you now ma'am."

"It's miss."

"Sorry ma'am."

Kitty looked up to see Magnolia running towards her like an excited teenager, waving both hands. The gates opened and Magnolia flew into Kitty's arms, raised just in time.

"Oh darling Kitty. Gerry called to tell me you'd be coming to save our marriage."

"That depends on you Magnolia. Now step back five steps, now come forward elegantly. Good. You can smile. Good, now kiss me lightly on the cheek as friends do. That's it. Now if this wacky last-ditch attempt is to work, you must stop all gay behavior or excessive behavior that might be interpreted as gay behavior."

"I'm not clear about that but yes, I promise. I don't want to return to Quorn."

"Where?"

"Quorn, where my folk live."

"Oh yes. So no girly stuff with me at all and definitely no attempt to lick me or whatever you usually do with other women."

"I've already promised that, haven't I?"

"Ah yes and thank you for that glimmer of hope."

"As soon as we enter the house, call for some wine. I want you to relax as we work through this first session. By the way, no more of this Lady Fitzroy crap. Apart from official occasions you are simply Magnolia even to your husband until I'm finished with you."

"He never calls me Lady even when introducing me because he doesn't believe I am a lady."

"At least your husband and I are in agreement about that."

As they went into the house Kitty asked thoughtfully, "Is that all you at your front or are you padded?"

"All me, here take a feel?"

"Magnolia!"

"Oh sorry."

"Lift your hem -- no don't show me your panties, or are those bloomers? I just wanted to see your legs. Good. Tomorrow when I arrive we ferret out and burn all these Jane Austen clothes of yours and dress you like a modern, elegant woman."

"Gerry won't like that."

"This is nothing to do with Gerry."

"Aren't I his wife?"

"Yes of course, but if he interferes I'm out of here."

Magnolia's bottom lip quivered. "Am I still allowed to sleep with him?"

"Yes of course. And sate yourself in sex with him. I don't want you having sex with anyone else. Not tomorrow, next week or long into the future so long as you remain his wife. Got that?"

"Yes, you have made that quite clear."

"Hasn't anyone before me?"

"No."

"Oh God. Where do I start?"

Magnolia said brightly, "At the beginning?"

Kitty said that was a very intelligent suggestion and Magnolia yelled, "Wine!"

Wincing, Kitty took Magnolia to the mantelpiece and told her to press the button.

A sleepy maid appeared, scratching under her armpit. She looked at Kitty and said, "Yes Miss?"

Kitty ignored her so the maid looked at Magnolia and said, "Yes Miss?"

"Ellen is ma'am, not miss, and don't you forget it. Don't slouch and stand up straight."

"Yes ma'am, I mean miss. Oh God, you're Kitty Loveridge."

A 30ish guy entered the room carrying a tray with a bottle of wine and a glass.

"Go back and return with your jacket on, hair combed and a bottle of wine unopened and two glasses and open the wine correctly in front of us," Kitty roared.

Both maid and butler fled the room.

"How did you manage that? They virtually take no notice of me."

"That will change very quickly Magnolia as I'm about to teach you how to kick ass."

They sat on comfortable chairs. Magnolia thumped down and sat with legs apart like a frog. Kitty made Magnolia sit down and cross her legs, keeping fingers on her hem to keep it from flying up.

"This feels so uncomfortable," Magnolia complained.

"Then go back to Queerville or whatever it's called."

"Quorn."

"My apologies for unintentionally slighting your village."

"I'll never become used to sitting uncomfortably like this."

"You may sit like a frog when alone with your husband and wish to give him a signal."

"A signal what for?"

"Sex."

"Oh how marvelous, I was beginning to think you were such a bully and such a stuffy teacher. You've scared the staff shitless. They are probably packing their bags right now."

An older woman, probably the housekeeper, came in leading the butler and half curtsied to the ladies. The butler was now in a suit, hair slicked back and carrying a serving tray with legs. He placed it between the two women and then picked up the bottle in both hands and presented it to Magnolia to view saying, 'Ma'am?'

"Oh, from the private cellar. Very nice."

The older woman stood aside and the maid, now in black and wearing a cap, came forward with cream cakes and a selection of low-cal biscuits.

"Oh, very nice. Thank you. Pour the wine please Freddie. Mrs Sharples and Jane, you may go."

Kitty gave Magnolia an encouraging smile.

After Freddie left Magnolia said, "That was awesome, just like in the movies. Will they perform like that when you're not here?"

"I would think so, once I've trained you."

Sir Gerald arrived at 6:25 and appeared disappointed that Magnolia looked as she did every other time at his homecoming. Except she didn't race up like a child to be kissed.

"Push the button please darling and then come and kiss us."

"What button."

"The button on the mantelpiece."

He pushed it and kissed Kitty on the cheek and greeted her and then had to kiss his wife's cheek because that was all that was offered.

"Jane, a double of best label whisky for Lord Fitzroy please and make sure the water in the crystal mini jug is at room temperature.




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 02



"Yes ma'am."

"Please close your mouth Gerry. We have a guest present."

Gerry looked at Kitty absolutely entranced.

Kitty outlined the plan devised to enhance both Gerry and Magnolia. He resisted but realized he'd have to accept because of its brilliance. As Kitty had emphasized, what she proposed would provoke early criticism but it was the outcome that mattered. She'd capped that in the language politicians really understood: at the end of the day he'd stand victorious.

Back home and in the bath, Kitty took a call from Jim Gee.

"I didn't know you were back in the country?"

"You didn't need to know, we're not lovers."

She heard his teeth snap together. She knew he wanted to fire both barrels. 

Like a storm about to strike Jim said ominously, "This interference of you in my personal affairs, it's...it's...outrageous."

"Okay, then I'll walk away. Goodnight."

Jim sounded panicky, "No, wait...I apologize. You can be such a bitch at times."

"Oooh, a compliment."

"I apologize."

"Squirm by all means Jim but please don't lick my footwear."

Jim attempted to lighten up. "Chase seems to respect you, in fact Chase thinks you are fabulous."

"Thank you for that lofty comment Jim. Good night."

"No wait."

"Jim this is becoming a little tiresome."

He stated sweetly, "I have confidence in you, Chase has confidence in you. Dinner at my apartment tomorrow at 6:00 -- I must be back at my office by 9:00 at the latest. We will have take-outs."

"Fine."

"I think you can do it Kitty."

"Enough of that boot-licking talk. I am to be a facilitator to effect a quick exit by Chase so I can get at your body."

"Oh Kitty," Jim groaned, only to then realize she'd cut the phone connection.

Chapter 6

After Monday's first meeting of the Executive Council, the President faced a crowded media conference, bloated because his deputy chairman, Sir Max, had advised that a special announcement of public interest was expected, depending on its acceptance of the Executive Council.

Reading script prepared by Kitty, Lord Fitzroy said, attempting as best he could to appear humble, "I have taken expert advice and have decided that rather than terminate my marriage that I should put behind me the unfortunate event of a few weeks ago and attempt full reconciliation with Lady Fitzroy. She has accepted the need for expert guidance to effect a total makeover and has chosen for this role the woman in this country she most admires, my former private secretary Kitty Loveridge, a woman whom you journalists know kicks ass, she doesn't lick it, and Kitty would be the first to admit that is the truth."

He paused, drowned out by laughter.

"Therefore, within the powers invested in me I have decided to appoint my wife, Lady Fitzroy, to the Prime Minister's department to head a new division called Office for Equal Opportunity in Politics and Parliamentary Administration, to be loosely known as the Equal Opportunity Office.

Media representatives burst into an uproar.

When that died, Lord Fitzroy continued. "In ratifying my decision and allocating an initial and very generous budget, the Executive Council agreed, although I must say not with great enthusiasm, that Lady Fitzroy is qualified for the position, having operated from a women's point of view, on both sides of the fence."

The media came close to hysterics.

Wiping away sweat, Lord Fitzroy stuck to his task. "Finally, I announce I have appointed to manage this influential unit, none other that Miss Kitty Loveridge."

After a moment's silence some of the women journalists began clapping and everyone joined in. Lord Fitzroy wiped his face, gratified.

A chant was taken up, "Kitty, Kitty. We want Kitty.

The PM made a phone call and then announced, "She'll be here in two minutes. Grab a drink everyone."

Kitty, in the process of gleefully kicking out the tearful media liaison manager Megan Ryan from her office and giving her 24-hours to clear her staff from the joining room and relocating in a disused storeroom, took the PM's call and said to Magnolia standing behind her with the department's chief of staff, "We're on Magnolia. Let's go."

"Oh my hair, are my seams straight. What about my lipstick?"

"This is politics and even worse, politics and the media Magnolia. Nothing else comes first."

They entered the auditorium with media reps returning to their seats with a drink.

Kitty took the rostrum and said, "Hi guys."

"Hi Kitty!"

"First, the boss. She's in a tremble so take it easy huh?"

Magnolia stepped up to the rostrum, almost falling backwards on her high heels of Kitty's choice.

"Hi guys."

She heard one person cough and that's all until someone yelled, "Speak up Lady Fitzroy, we can't hear you."

"Please don't address me as Lady Fitzroy. Just Magnolia as Kitty won't allow me to use my title until she decides I am a lady."

Lighting for the three sets of TV cameras switched on the scribblers hunched over their pads and scribbled.

"Let's run through that again guys, we were caught napping," yelled a TV director.

"Speak up Lady Fitzroy, we can't hear you."

"Please don't address me as Lady Fitzroy. Just Magnolia as Kitty won't allow me to use my title until she decides I am a lady."

Magnolia was then grilled for ten minutes, mainly about her suitability to her role and what she thought about gays.

She came up smelling like a rose, showing some naivety but great heart and displayed charm galore.

Magnolia finished up addressing the media personally. "Thank you for being so kind to me on my first outing. Do you like my new outfit and hairstyle? Kitty is modernizing me and this is part of her makeover. She's such a darling. I think I'm allowed to use that term -- she forbids me to act girlie or call other women sweetheart."

She left the rostrum to a standing ovation.

Kitty yelled, "That's all folk. Isn't she a ripper?"

The deputy chairman of the Executive Council Sir Max Wallace and council secretary Alf Struthers sat drinking and watching the news at 4:00 on TV.

"If that report is indicative it looks as if the media is taking a 'wait and see' attitude on this hair-brained scheme of Gerry's but the clip of the media conference showing Magnolia talking to the media gives the distinct impression she enchanted them." 

Max said dryly, "Also wait and see Alf. Do you want Kitty to work on your wife?"

"No thanks. She's already staying with her mother and the wheels are in motion for a quick divorce. I reckon come time of the next election you will have wished Gerry had booted off Magnolia."

"Let's wait and see huh? Regarding the election, I want to talk to you about the possibility of the nation finding it prefers this style of tight Government by a small Executive Council."

"What? It's next to a dictatorship Max and you know it."

"Er, what say with a bit of modifying to be operated by you and me as joint-chairmen and we rule on a non-partisan basis?"

"Our political support would drop away, including our funding."

"Think big Alf. Without need of party support we wouldn't require funding."

"So the public is left without choice?"

"We're on the same wavelength Alf."

Alf held out his glass for another shot. "I'll think about it Max."

Arriving for dinner that evening, Kitty was handed a copy of tomorrow morning's front page of the Guardian.

"It looks good Jim, I like the heading."

They looked at the article, joined by Chase handing Kitty her drink. The heading read, 'Media Told She's a Ripper'. The accompanying article titled, 'A Stupid Waste of Public Money', slammed the Executive Council for creating an 'Office of Nothing' with a budget of $1.5 million looking for sexism in politics that was almost non-existent.

"Ewan Rogers is off-beam with that claim. Just you wait until the complaints start rolling in."

"What complaints?" Jim asked Kitty.

"Women who say they are dissatisfied with what they call arrogant males outnumbering women in Parliament by seven to one and legislation written by old farts of last Century."

"You're dreaming Kitty."

"Before we left the office this afternoon I had received three invitations for Magnolia and me to address women's groups and our office doesn't open until we've had the accommodation renovated to suite feminine tastes."

Jim said, losing some confidence, "That's a knee-jerk reaction."

"The first invitation came on behalf of the national executive president of the Council of Women, the second from Women in Law Inc and the third was from the Charlton University Women's Club."

Jim looked slightly agitated. "Excuse me ladies, I have to call someone."

Chase said in awe, "Golly Kitty, you almost had him wetting his pants."

"Editor's don't like falling out of step with leading public opinion but if you want to learn how to kick ass call me sometime for a drink."

"You mean you don't mind staying in touch?"

"Of course not. You are interesting and fun to be with, or at least you were at lunch. Please don't let any thought of Jim come between us."

"Crisis over Jim?" she asked as he returned to the room.

"Yeah Kitty, just briefed Ewan Rogers and he's going to alter his story a tad."

"A tad?"

"Oh all right, it's being rewritten reporting women organizations are hailing the creation of the new office as a tremendous initiative and for Ewan to suggest the office may be under-funded. I added that bit knowing you would have written that."

Chase was looking at Kitty as if she'd just witnessed the impossible being performed. "You have him on a string," she whispered and Kitty told her to hush.

Jim served the take-outs, expecting them to eat on their knees, much to Chase's dismay.

Catching the look Kitty smiled, "Jim and I have eaten under trees in white-outs, down mine-shafts, in doss houses, standing outside over-crowed pubs like all newspaper journalists have always done, so eating sitting on these comfortable sofas is a real treat in comparison, I'm telling you Chase."

"If you say so Kitty. I have the dinning table set with candles ready to light."

"This is to keep us relaxed Chase," Jim said. "We need Kitty to give us her best shot."

"Okay, I'm relaxed. Throw your cartons and wrappers on the floor is you wish."

"Not quite that relaxed I'm sure," Kitty said, and they laughed.

Kitty said she was no miracle worker all she could do was to try to appeal to the sense of fair play resident in both of them. She asked where were they under legal representation.

Jim looked at Chase and nodded. She said, "We closed down our legal folk this morning and agreed to agree with you."

"You both may feel you've been cut off at the knees after I've ended my attempt."

"So be it," said Jim and Chase said so be it.

"Well, where are we at with the offers on the table?"

Chase said, looking at Kitty anxiously, "I've cut back to $1.3 million."

Jim said he'd upped his offer from $200,000 to $250,000.

"Hmmm."

Chase and Jim attempted to appear relaxed.

"Tell me Chase, what are your main goals?"

"Simple really. I turn thirty next month and in the not too distant future I would like to be in my own house with a husband and the first of a couple of kids on the way. Definitely born before I turn thirty-five."

"Hmmm."

Chase began wringing her hands.

"Relax Chase."

Chase dropped her hands to her side and looked as if Kitty had just shot her.

"Okay Chase, here is my decision so take it or leave it, you too Jim. I'm off for a pee so you'll have a couple of minutes to discuss it and then I'm off unless you have agreed. Chase in future before you make any major decision I urge you to go in with your eyes open and underpinning it with no more than 40% emotion. In my opinion Jim always was and always will be the wrong person for you and I'd still say that even if I didn't know him well. He comes across as being self-centered, distant and not very interested in being consumed by a woman unless it's for sex and that's why he's succeeded as a journalist and now an editor because he can greedily give the majority of his time to the written word. It's a pity you didn't have someone to tell you this at the outset."

"Mom did, after she first met him."

"Oh Chase."

"It's okay. I stupidly thought I would prove her wrong. She still thinks you are a nice guy Jim."

"I didn't even try Chase."

"Thank for saying that Jim. Honest to the last eh?"

"Well, it's off to the bathroom. Chase I want you to find a house you'd really like, where you'd really like, and Jim I want you to pay $700,000 of the price and to have a legal agreement drawn up and signed/counter-signed in front of your attorneys. This is my idea of finely pitching resolution. If it's not acceptable, no harm done."

Kitty went home an hour later, leaving the other two drinking to celebrate the end to their impasse.

Chase had kissed her at the elevator, tears rolling. "Kitty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Perhaps we can have lunch. I'll leave tomorrow or the next day and stay with mom until I resettle and find a decent job."

"Decent job? Are you planning to stay in the city?"

"Yes of course."

"Come and see me within the next couple of days if you want to talk about a job."

"What, in your women's office."

"It's Lady Fitzroy's office actually. But hiring and firing comes under me. This is a temporary business card."

"That's fine. I'll courier my CV tomorrow and perhaps you could see me next afternoon."

"Certainly, let's have lunch in the Copper Room. The main restaurant is closed until Parliament resumes. I'll call you."

In the underground car lot next morning the media liaison officer Megan Ryan snubbed Kitty. Kitty allowed her to reach the elevator before calling, "Oh Megan, treat me like that again and you're out of here."

Megan froze and turned slowly. "I apologize Miss Loveridge."

"Accepted Megan but please call me Kitty, we are supposed to be on the same team. Are you available for lunch today? We have a couple of hatchets to bury."

* * *

"Kitty, are you sure we can say we are in business when our offices are closed for redecorating?"

"Yes boss, the absence of trappings doesn't mean we can't function and what better place to work on our draft strategic plan than in a bar?"

Magnolia told Kitty not to call her boss because Kitty was the boss.

"Please go to the bathroom and wash out your mouth with soap."

Magnolia looked defiant until wilting. She stood up.

"Sit down and get a bit of iron into your backbone and..." Kitty tailed off as an idea took shape. She made a call and spoke to the director of the Bureau.

"I can't believe the PM has taken you back in, you're almost Public Enemy No. 1."

"Oh Ralph darling. You are too kind. Listen, I want you to assign Skye as a 24/7 minder for Magnolia for twenty-eight days, starting in Bronwyn's Bar in Parliament where we have our temporary office at 9:00 sharp in the morning."

"You have Lady Fitzroy in an office that's a bar?"

"Oh hard of hearing are we Mr Director?"

"No, of course not and you are out of order making this request. Only the PM or in his absence the Attorney General and in his absence the deputy PM can direct the Bureau."

"I'm simply cutting corners Ralph. You know what the President will say when I tell him this is necessary for the safety of his wife with anti-gay women coming into our office or should I say this bar."

"Oh God, why isn't she with a Minder?"

"Because the President cancelled the service when he gave her home detention and neither he nor your good self as his chief security adviser thought of reactivating it when she was let out of the house again."

"Oh God, she was exposed defenseless in front of all those journalists, probably 20% of them are gay."

"A reflection of community representation and no doubt 20% of your people are gay."

"Kitty!"

"Sorry Ralph, couldn't resist the windup. Anyway she wasn't defenseless, I was at her side."

"Yeah, well I must admit that counts for something. If you can't hold down your new job come and see me. How is you have identified Skye?"

"I wouldn't be considered good at my job if I hadn't managed to do that Ralph."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"The kind of answer the Director of CBII gives when appearing before the National Security Subcommittee in the House."

To Be Continued



The President's Gay Wife Pt. 03



Chapter 7

With a shriek Magnolia shot behind Kitty when Skye, in a smelly tracksuit and platform shoes raising her beyond her normal height of six foot two inches, entered the bar at 8:58 and snarled, "Where is this gay woman?"

"Skye, calm down. For your information this is Lady Fitzroy but you are to call her Magnolia. And she's not gay; she's ex-gay and is engaged in sexual relations with only her husband. Also mess with her and you mess with me. Got it!

"Yes boss."

"Please always call me Kitty. Now kiss me on the cheek, lightly."

"Thank you, that was sweet. Now apologize to Magnolia for mistakenly calling her gay and kiss her on the cheek."

"She's gay, I should swat her."

"Skye?"

"Yes boss."

"Skye!"

"Okay Kitty. You're the boss. Ma'am, my mouth runneth over at times and please forgive me. I must say you look sexy."

"Thank you Skye," Magnolia smiled. "You must see at lot of it way up there."

"Huh."

"Oh never mind. Kiss me Skye but on the cheek."

"I have no alternative. I don't kiss ass."

They all laughed and Sky gave Magnolia a peck on the cheek.

Kitty said to Magnolia to take Skye out and buy her three new tracksuit and one business outfit for formal occasions. "You may have to buy her a suit from a men's outfitters. Also footwear of her choice that meets your approval. Also lipstick..."

"No lipstick and definitely no bra."

"Whatever she says Magnolia and please don't let her hit anyone until you are really under threat."

"Why not, it could be fun."

"Because they'll be hospitalized, that's why."

"Oh God, so you think I'll be safe with her?"

Kitty said more than Magnolia could imagine. She asked Magnolia to file the receipts under a new file called Undercover Work because the charges would be billed to CBII.

"What's the CBII?"

Kitty said, "You want won't to know Magnolia, believe me."

"If you find out I'll have to twist your neck so your head faces the other way."

"Oh God."

"Skye, shut up and stop scaring her. Oh, here's the deal you two. Skye I want you to teach Magnolia to toughen up but please try to do that without bruising her or scaring her out of her mind. Magnolia, in return I want you to teach Skye how to be more feminine but please, please, don't force her into a bra but let her try one if she wants to. Magnolia, go against her and your neck will sit on your shoulders wrong way round."

"Oh God."

Kitty was about to head off for lunch when Magnolia and Skye arrived, laughing and appearing to be bosom buddies. Kitty was thrilled unless she saw Skye's almost closed eye.

"What happened?" Kitty groaned.

"Well boss..."

"Skye, leave this to me," Magnolia said firmly. "Kitty, it wasn't our fault. We'd finished shopping and were on our way back when this big woman accosted me and called me a lesbian mongrel, took a swing and clipped my left ear. I considered myself under attack so I kicked her in the guts, winding her. Her husband, a big guy, hit Skye over the eye so she flattened him, sending him back six feet and knocking over two jeering youths in the process. The cops appeared from nowhere..."

Kitty cried, "The Police, oh God!" and was told by Magnolia not to make a fuss. 

Magnolia was asked to continue.

"Witnesses told the cops the abusive woman hit me first and I simply defended myself by lifting up my foot and the woman ran into it."

"And the cops accepted that explanation?"

"Yes. The two youths who were knocked over claimed Skye simply hit their dad and knocked him out cold. Skye showed the policewoman her eye swelling eye and the cop said the guy must have hit her first but the sergeant said both men would be taken in for street brawling. Skye said that's not fair because she was hit first and besides, she was a woman. The sergeant said he very much doubted that so Skye opened her shirt and said, 'What are these?' And the constable said told her sergeant she did have small ears and small feet for her size and was wearing high heels. Everyone laughed and the sergeant said to me, who are you -- Johnny Depp? I told him not to be so rude, that I was the wife of the President and we were told to push off before we were arrested for disturbing the peace and me on an extra charge of attempting to impersonate the President's wife. We left the scene as a ambulance arrived."

"Why was an ambulance called?"

"Because when the big guy came around he asked, 'Who hit me?' and his younger son said 'A woman dad' and he fell back on to the pavement and split open the back of his head."

"Oh God, you two are grounded."

"Er Kitty, aren't you forgetting something. I'm the boss."

"Oh sorry Magnolia, you better rest."

"No, I'm fine. You are the one that looks traumatized."

"I'll recover when I get away from you two. Where is the shopping?"

"We left everything at the last store and Skye called someone as what she called the Bureau and asked them to make a special delivery."

Kitty walked off with a hand over her forehead muttering, "But we have unauthorized and therefore illegal security cover, we have unauthorized and therefore illegal security pick up and delivery of goods. I'll be sentenced to prison."

"Don't worry, I'll fix it Kitty."

"You of all people Magnolia?" muttered Kitty to herself. "That's as unlikely as regular snowfalls on Sunny Island."

Kitty had managed to stabilize herself by the time she arrived at the restaurant despite claiming she was useless as an administrator and wouldn't even to be capable of keeping a dog on a leash under control. Having to nurse along Magnolia and her hulk buddy who was a walking disaster would be a nightmare. She groaned, "What have I done to deserve this?"

The restaurant manager, recognizing her, rushed away and returned with a whisky. "Down the hatch Kitty and smile." 

She smiled, swallowed the shot in one gulp, coughed, choked and straightened up smiling. "Thanks Ivan, you're a regular Florence Nightingale."

Ivan thought he should accept that as a compliment. 

Shortly after the two women met for lunch -- Kitty appearing to be a bit liquored up -- Megan was being hailed as one of Kitty's best friends.

"But we have never liked one another?"

"A mere technicality dear Meg -- may I call you Meg? You just stop playing one media contact against another, one network against another to suit your own convenience or game plan and instead treat them all, as equal and you'll have no criticism from me. I'll tell you this Meg, when the chips are down you'll want everyone onside. No one can hit back like a media man or women who feels shafted at not receiving a fair deal at accessing news."

"What you are saying makes sense Kitty. I guess I lack your experience to have that overview."

"Play fair, be seen to be playing fair and some of them may even start to like you and that surely must be good. Is there anyone in the regular pack that catches your eye."

"Peter Wing."

"Nice choice and he's recently divorced. I'll have a confidential word and it could well be your lucky day, I mean night or perhaps even one thousand and one nights."

They kissed as they parted and that was a first for them. "Oh Meg, I'll have a chat to the chief of staff about your accommodation. There is no need for accounts to be where they are."

"But that's prime office space."

"It's where the media expect to find you and your crew Meg. It's on a par where you were previously."

"Ah, so it is. Does that mean I've learnt my lesson?"

"You are so sharp Meg. Keep on track and you'll go far."

Kitty departed smiling, hearing Meg call, "You are so inspirational Kitty."

Muttering, Kitty said, "No Meg, I'm a scheming, devious bitch and will probably be arrested within the hour for breaking some section of secret legislation. The only way I can expect mercy is to appeal to that rotten PM and I know what he'll want from me in return, the rotten monster."

She returned to the bar and the bartender came over and said the other two had gone to late lunch. The woman asked could she fetch Kitty a coffee. She was thanked and asked to make it strong and black.

Kitty opened a note stuck under the corner of her keyboard.

I called Gerry and said you were concerned for my safety in public and he said he'd get someone assigned to me 24/7 and he or she could live with us as family. I asked him to copy the instruction to me and could I kindly have the instruction timed to commence from 9 am this morning to ensure the person got a full day's pay in being assigned to me. It arrived and is filed in the new Undercover Work file. The Boss.

Kitty folded over her keyboard and wept in relief. She was so lucky working with The Boss and Skye.

Her phone went and she wiped her eyes and took the call, thanking Gloria who'd arrived with coffee.

"Hi Jim."

"Oh hi. We have been told of an interesting disturbance in O'Connell Street a couple of hours ago. One witness said a big woman who doesn't wear a bra knocked out cold a guy bigger than her and he was carted off to hospital. A woman claiming to be the President's wife kicked the guy's wife in the guts for calling her a lesbian. Lady Fitzroy hasn't been given a bodyguard has she?"

"Oh God Jim, you've exposed an oversight. I must arrange that now. Magnolia has been with me all morning and at present is somewhere in the building having late lunch as she worked right through with me on our strategic plan."

"Damn, I was working on a hunch. Too bad. Oh, Chase is out of here sometime tomorrow. When can we do it?"

"I'd say after some serious courtship. I am available on Saturday for lunch and then perhaps for a walk through the botanical gardens. Bye Jim. Oh, a concert Sunday would be lovely."

The President's chief of staff, now working daily with the President at Parliament during the period of Civic Emergency, took a call and passed the caller on. Gerry said cheerfully, "Hello Mr Gee, calling to harass me and my wife?"

"Sorry for the interruption to your busy day Mr President, but I was wanting to talk to Lady Fitzroy."

"Well she'd not here. But she called less than an hour ago about something and said she was off to lunch. She's been working on a strategic plan."

"Do you know where she's eating?"

"No and we have eight cafes and restaurants in this building plus the MP's and VIP Restaurant which is closed at present. Now may I get on with running the country?" 

"Yes Mr President."

"How very civil of you Jim."

At about that time two men in hats, dark sunglasses, black shirts without ties and wearing light gray suits, looking like either gangsters or secret service agents, walked up to Kitty and one guy said out of the corner of his mouth, "Miss Kitty Loveridge?"

"It is I?'

"Shouldn't you say it is me?"

"I had a classical education."

"What's that?"

"If you don't know you don't need to know."

"One smart lady eh? Show me ID before I hand over this stuff."

Kitty handed over her Parliament security ID and the guy looked at it and looked at her.

"You sure are pretty. Do you date?"

"I'd like to but my boyfriend forbids me He's a Police gun instructor."

"Please sign here ma'am and we're out of here."

After the guys left Kitty opened the suit bag and sighed. She was looking at Skye's new light gray suit and hanging underneath the jacket was a black shirt, no tie. It was clear to her that people who joked about special agents and gangsters standing out because they tried to camouflage their presence were really not joking and agents and gangsters couldn't see the joke. She thought it was funny but not really funny. She groaned, well, at least she knew what she meant.

Chapter 8

Magnolia drove home happy although a little tired, pleased about her first day at the office although she'd have to forget about the shopping incident if she were to regard it as a great day. God, wasn't Skye just awesome and she gasped in dismay as a delicious sensation swept through her. Oh no, please, she didn't want her body thinking about Skye in that manner now denied her. Gerry and counselors including a dopey looking psychologist had forbidden her to even harbor thoughts about other women.

In near panic Magnolia reached over and patted Skye on the thigh and said cheerfully as she could, "And what about you darling, did you have a great day on your first day on the job?"

Skye looked at her tracksuit-covered thigh from which the hand had now retreated as if it had just been seared by a hot iron. A small sound came from the back of her throat and she edged away under the restraint of her seatbelt to lean against her door, increasing the gap between her and the driver substantially.

"Oh Skye, I'm sorry for inadvertently touching you. It was simply a gesture of friendship. I'm cured you know."

The reply from Skye was slow coming and not particularly encouraging. "No I didn't know ma'am."

Ma'am? Oh dear, she's terrified thought Magnolia who then brightened as she thought well at least she was capable of scaring her scary bodyguard although not in an approved manner. She actually managed a wee smile.

Magnolia opened the gates electronically and as they drove through them Skye asked Magnolia to close them when Skye was ready.

Ready for what?

Skye went from the car and held up her watch. "Now."

Magnolia pushed the three-button code and when the heavy metal gates clanged shut she watched Skye shake them and examine the three-bolt mechanism.

"Something wrong?"

Skye grunted, "Security check."

A warm, fuzzy feeling ran through Magnolia. She felt incredibly safe, knowing it was illusory but nevertheless she enjoyed that feeling. "Skye, I love having you at my side."

Skye barked, "Love?"

"Er, I feel incredibly safe with you at my side."

Skye smiled proudly and said rather softly for her, "Good."

The male servant opened the front door before Skye had time to press the bell.

She scowled at the guy and snapped, "Were you spying on us?"

Slightly built Freddie looked up at Skye and said 'No," at the same time taking two nervous steps backwards.

"I don't believe you. I'll be watching you," Skye growled.

"Oh dear, oh dear," soothed Mrs Sharples, bustling forward. "What is all this commotion?" Jane followed her, aggressively holding a heavy fry pan.

Mrs Sharples took one look at Skye and said, "Oh my, what a bonny young woman."

Skye thrust out her chin as she stepped towards the elderly housekeeper and snarled, "Are you lesbian?"

Mrs Sharples turned even whiter than normal and stuffed her handkerchief at her mouth.

Magnolia, feeling helpless, yelled the first word that came to her.

"Heel!"

Incredibly Skye stepped back to stop alongside her, still eyeing the shaking Mrs Sharples.

There was a moment of absolute silence until, "Guys, this is my temporary bodyguard Skye, a lovely lady really but just a mite defensive."

"Defensive? More like unbelievably aggressive to me," snapped Jane. 

Skye eyed Jane who dropped the fry pan and flattened against the wall on the far side of Mrs Sharples.

Accepting that only she could save the day, Magnolia said, "Now this little charade is over, Mrs Sharples, allow me to introduce you to Skye. Skye Mrs Sharples is the boss around here as her title is housekeeper. Behind her, color returning to her face, is the permanent maid Jane and this bright young man is Freddie. Please welcome Skye to the house guys, she'll be living with us."

"Living with us?" Mrs Sharples croaked.

"Yes, living with us for a month."

"Welcome Skye," Mrs Sharples whispered.

"Welcome Skye," Jane said, peeping out beyond Mrs Sharples' bulk.

"Hi Skye, would you like to join me in the gym at evenings?"

"Why?"

"To work out, er, on fitness."

"Thank you Freddie. I'd like that."

Removing her jacket and holding it out for Jane, the much-relieved Magnolia said, "Freddie, quickly, scotch for Skye and me in the drawing room and you three better have a drink in the kitchen." 

As soon as she downed her whisky in a gulp, Skye asked, "Who's the boss of the servants?"

"I am."

"Please hand me their CVs."

Magnolia said slightly nervously, "Servants don't have CVs Skye."

"What they just walk in and say I'd like to work here?"

"No, the hire agency interviews them and sends us a selection to interview for final selection. Of course they come with references."

Skye scratched her nose. Well?"

"Well what?"

"Hand me the references."

"Oh Skye, are you sure this is necessary. The previous Prime Minister's wife of the previous Prime Minister hired Mrs Sharples and Freddie went through assessment by some Government security outfit as previously he was on the staff at the British Embassy and..."

"Why did he leave?"

Magnolia said inventively, "Some of the male staff were gay."

"He's okay then and probably was checked out by our Bureau."

"What Bureau is that?"

"You are not allowed to know Magnolia."

Fluttering her eyelashes, Magnolia said disarmingly, "Oh really? That sounds a little unfair."

"I prefer not to comment on that dangerous remark Magnolia."

Magnolia looked at Skye a little angrily. "Dangerous am I?"

Skye burst out laughing and Magnolia sniffed to herself, well at least she can laugh fulsomely when she's not playing cops and robbers.

"Okay, I'll consider those two screened adequately. What about the wimp Jane?"

"Wimp, I don't think so. She has had the courage to jump into Freddie's bed much to the disgust of Mrs Sharples."

"That's lust, not courage. Get your facts right."

"Really Skye, I don't think..."

"You're on probation so shut up."

"Skye, please don't..."

"I said shut up. On matters of morality you have no voice with me. You are confused about your sexuality and are in the processed of being flushed out and rejuvenated."

"But Skye, I'm still the same person I ever way, capable of making sound decisions and..."

"I'd shut my mouth if I were you Magnolia. If the Bureau learns you are still thinking of continuing seducing women in all probability you'll just..."

"No, don't say it Skye. That's terrifying as well as being criminally indefensibly and..."

"Cut the crap Magnolia. The Bureau is above the law. If you keep your mouth shut about it and do nothing about it, how can I report back that you still lust for other women?"

Magnolia burst into tears and ran to Skye for comfort. 

Yelling, "Get away from me you lesbo," Skye saw Magnolia's eyes roll up into a near faint so she relented, sat Magnolia on her knee and thumped Magnolia's back sympathetically, cooing to her.

The door opened and Gerry stood, mouth open in shock and shaking his head. "So she now has an in-house lover?" He turned to leave.

"Gerry," Skye barked.

He swung around, eyes blazing. "I beg your pardon. I'm Lord Fitzroy to you."

"Only if I agree to that formality but I don't agree."

Gerry staggered back against the door jam and said, "Oh God, it's true. The Chief of Police warned me that the Bureau has become a law unto itself."

"On your knees and plead to me to address you with dignity and I'll think about it."

"No, your bitch. I'll arrange your assassination."

"Wow, I'm really impressed sir. You have balls."

Gerry coughed deeply to project confirmation and said, "You really impress me ma'am. Most commoners bow and scrape to me."

"It's miss, not ma'am and call me Skye."

"Skye. Oh what a sweet name. You certainly look all woman."

"I don't wear a bra because the size of them for a big girl like me alarms me."

Magnolia stirred. "Where am I?" she asked a little groggily.

"You fainted."

"Oh yes, when you suggested the Bureau as you call it would remove me from circulation if I continued my lust for women."

"Well, I'd have to report any indiscretions."

"There won't be any Skye, I promise."




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 03



Gerald coughed and said hearing that was a relief.

"Oh, hello darling," Magnolia yawned. I suppose you have just walked in and thought you'd caught Skye and me having a piece of each other?"

Gerry opened his mouth to reply no when Skye roared "Yuk!" and Magnolia landed in a complaining heap at Skye's feet.

"Skye, slap her around a bit whenever she attacks your rigid sexuality. It will assist in her restoration of her monogamous marital status or, at the very least, being interested in having sex only with men."

"As the way it was meant to be?"

"Yes, that is a widely-held view Skye."

Skye picked up Magnolia and virtually tossed her at Gerry to hold and said, "Some kisses will underpin her desire to adjust." He looked at her surprised as if having thought she was nothing more than a muscular birdbrain.

Skye walked into the kitchen and addressed Mrs Sharples. "I need to take privately to Jane, a security check."

"Go ahead dear, she's not needed until I'm ready to serve dinner."

"Don't you have a cook?"

"No, I rather like cooking but we bring in professionals when we have guests."

"Aren't I a guest?"

Mrs Sharples said no, Skye was considered family and received an affectionate pat on the head. "Tell Magnolia to take you to my private sitting room for your wee chat."

"It's an interrogation."

"Whatever you wish to call it dear."

Skye terrified the 21-year-old, especially questions about sexual preferences and political attitudes because she never thought a great deal about politics and was relatively sexually inexperienced. However she cheered up when Skye advised her to forget politics and if she wanted more sex she should go out to bars more frequently.

"But I don't particularly like alcohol."

"Not many women go to bars to drink," Skye said and noting Jane's interest spent fifteen minutes tutoring Jane on surefire ways of landing a male to bang.

"I thought it was the male who banged the woman?"

Skye said that depended on one's attitude. "Most guys can't believe their luck when the girl takes over."

"You're so inspirational Skye," Jane said, clasping her arm. Skye tensed but let it be.

"Did I pass?"

"Yeah, you're a little wimpy but politically you appear no threat which is good and I was impressed when you said you loved your mother because she was so sweet."

"Hold me up Skye, I want to kiss you."

"What?"

"I said hold me up I want to kiss you. Don't wimp out on me Skye."

She was hoisted and said, "No, your cheek not your lips, I'm no pussy-licker."

Skye's laughed boomed through the house as Gerry teased one of his wife's nipples. Magnolia giggled and said, "Dinner will be late darling if that's Skye terrorizing the staff."

Two guys attached to Parliamentary Security came on duty for the night at 10:00 and the senior guy came through the house checking occupants, doors and windows. Skye, bathed in sweat, came up the basement stairs carrying Freddie, who looked exhausted.

Sir Gerald and a security guy raced over to them and the President asked, "What's wrong."

"I'm okay, Lord Fitzroy. Skye rather wore me out. I gave up on eighteen press-ups and she was on seventy when I stopped her and it was the same with pull-ups on the bar. With the weights she pressed three times more than my record press and then she left me gasping as we completed the circuit and when she asked where we going to run a few miles around the track inside our perimeter fence I more or less collapsed."

"Who are you?" Skye asked, eyeing the security guard in uniform.

"More to the point, who are you? There's no guest logged."

Skye reached out and draggled the struggling guy to her. "I asked first Bozo."

"Cedric ma'am, Cedric Owens."

"Are you gay Cedric? Christ, what a name."

"No ma'am. I live with a dame and have another on the side."

"Go in peace Cedric. I'm with the Bureau. You have no need to know my name."

"The Bureau! Ohmigod."

"Finish your round Cedric and then clear out. Double check you're locked the door behind you." 

Gerry stood beside Skye as they watched Cedric make his exit. Sir Gerald slipped an arm around her waist and casually dropped it and squeezed a butt cheek.

Almost at a whisper Skye said, "Are you an adulterer Gerry?"

He froze.

Then her voice rose. "Have you any idea how I punish adulterers?"

Gerry pulled away and fled, saying, "Goodnight Skye. We breakfast at 8:00."

Next morning Gerry and Magnolia couldn't believe the difference in tone in the house when they entered the dining room just behind Skye. Skye pulled up the blinds higher, opened windows and switched the radio from classical to a soft rock station. Gerry gave her a wide berth but delivered a cheerful good morning while Magnolia went up to her confidently and hugged her.

"Nice smell."

"Call it a nice fragrance darling. Perfumes don't smell. Are you aware a fine perfume masks the smell of perspiration."

"You mean sweat?"

"Oh yes, I suppose I do. If I bought you some would you use it?"

"I suppose so."

"Skye!"

"Yes ma'am. I would since you appear to be recommending that I do."

"Wear it and you'll have guys all over you."

Skye licked her lips but said, "My rule is one guy at a time."

"You can always ask them to stand in line."

Jane came in with orange and tomato juice. "Good morning sir, good morning ma'am."

"Call her Magnolia unless strangers are around."

"Yes Skye. Good morning Skye."

"Kiss me if you want to."

"Oh Skye, I really don't think..."

"You've been invited. It's a privilege," Magnolia smiled.

Mrs Sharples bustled in, half-curtsied to Sir Gerald and Magnolia. "Oh Skye, bacon and eggs for you?"

"Any chance of a piece of steak as well?"

"Oh, a working man's breakfast. Fries and tomatoes as well?"

"Skip the tomatoes, they're mostly water."

"Oh, its so delightful to prepare somebody a real breakfast. How would you like you three eggs done darling?"

"Are three eggs okay Magnolia?"

"Have a dozen if you wish Skye. We'd not want you to waste away."

"Three eggs are fine Mrs Sharples."

"Oh Skye, please call me Nancy."

"Where's Freddie."

"He's feeling poorly this morning Skye so he's in the kitchen eating porridge. Did you seduce him in the basement last night? He's completely exhausted."

"What that weed? Nah, I just pushed him a little too hard on the circuit. I really don't go any smaller than Gerry."

The clink of a spoon in a porridge bowl in the kitchen could be heard.

Then Mrs Sharples said "Oh dear", Magnolia had slapped a hand over her mouth to smother laughter and the counter-punching former politician, with years of experience in the House dealing with cutting interjections, said calmly, "I rather doubt my ability to survive an unrestrained bonking from you Skye, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I apologize for my stupid remark sir."

"Stupid? It was a delightful analogy and a naughty sense of humor Skye," Gerry said in gentle rebuttal. "We should all be laughing."

Magnolia took away her hand and screamed with laughter, the others grinning, the tension evaporating. 

When Magnolia and Skye left early and Gerry accompanied them to the garage, the two new guards on shift waved and called out, "Hi Skye." She waved and turning to Gerry again apologized for her comment at breakfast.

"Skye, if I'd been angry I would have whacked you."

She brightened visibly and said, "Thank you Gerry, I now feel much relieved."

"God, Gerry's taken a shine to you," Magnolia laughed, as they drove off.

"Magnolia!"

"Oops sorry Skye. Being with you if much more fun that being with other women."

"Magnolia!"

"Oh Skye, don't be so sensitive. Perhaps I can teach you about understanding your sexuality?"

There was no reply so Magnolia said. "Welcome to the family Skye. I'm going to love having you around for a month and by the end of that time I know I'll be really sorted. You are such an inspiration."

"This is turning out to be my most difficult assignment ever."

"Oh darling, that's because you see sex as being simply black and white, rather than in all shades of black and colors. If sex and sexuality and our attitudes to them both were simple, we really wouldn't be interested."

"Isn't it a lovely day?"

"Not really," Magnolia smiled, "but I get the message."

They arrived to find Kitty apparently thrilled to see them.

"Oh Magnolia and Skye, I've so missed your company. I was so bored with myself last night that I almost went crazy and called him. Instead I worked on our strategic plan and completed the first draft."

"Called him?"

"Called him?"

Magnolia and Skye reacted almost simultaneously, choosing only the key words. They looked at Kitty, mouths open and appearing as if the answer was dependant on the survival of mankind.

"Oh sorry, I meant Jim Gee. He's keen to screw me."

"Kitty, please. You mean he wants to date you," Magnolia said, urging propriety.

"Well yes, that too."

"You mean the newspaper editor?"

"Yes Skye. It's unfinished business between us. He messed up trying to pull down my panties sixteen years ago."

"And he's still interested in finishing the job?"

"Rather, it seems."

"What do you think about this?"

"If he does it well enough I'll marry him."

Skye looked at Magnolia and Magnolia said yes, a wedding was inevitable.

"I've never been to a wedding."

"Well, you're coming to mine."

"As security."

"No you dope, as an important guest."

"As family?"

"Yes, why not Magnolia. As family Skye."

Kitty and Magnolia shrieked as they watched Skye fall backwards over a table, shattering it.

"Oh shit," shouted Gloria the barmaid coming on duty.

"Gloria, a whisky," Kitty shouted, first out of the blocks and was cradling Skye's head to her chest as Magnolia crouched beside her, crying.

"She'll be okay," Kitty said. "Doesn't appear to be spiked by debris."

"What's happened to her, she's tough as old boots," Magnolia wailed.

"Oh yeah. She's thirty and has never been to a wedding and probably not to naming ceremonies. Only funerals I should think. And she probably has no family so she was overcome thinking she has family in you and me."

"And Gerry and the staff. You should have been there last night and this morning at breakfast. She has them all gob smacked; they are entranced by her. I think I should get her file."

Magnolia still stroking Skye's face said, "What, you know about the Bureau?"

"Magnolia, for heaven's sake. The PM directs the director. It was part of my job being in liaison between those two and Gerry. Fuck Magnolia, you're not supposed to know about the Bureau.

"Sorry," Magnolia said, wiping at her eyes. 

"Oh, just don't tell anyone you know. She's coming around."

"Here's the whisky Kitty. I also brought one for your guys and for me."

"Excellent work Gloria, you should come and work for us."

"I'd like that. Please interview me Kitty."

"She has enough personality, presence and proven initiative to be hired don't you think Magnolia."

"I'd be comfortable with that."

"Good, you're hired Gloria. You start in a fortnight. I'll arrange the transfer. Hello darling Skye. You tripped."

"I fucking fainted."

"Skye please don't use that horrible word when you are in the presence of ladies."

"What's wrong with saying fuck?"

Kitty said it was a nasty man's word.

Skye appeared unconvinced as she sat and took her whisky.

Magnolia said it was a word favored by rough male gays. 

"Christmas, I'm not using that word again," Skye said, throwing back her whisky and holding out her glass. "It was a severe faint."

"Oh, here have mine," Gloria smiled.

Magnolia and Kitty looked at Gloria briefly and then exchanged smiles. They knew for sure they had a new team member.

Chapter 9

The chairman of the National Unity Party and her deputy chairman had early lunch in the Cabinet dinning room, a working lunch to open dialogue about the next elections.

Chairman Lady Sylvia Marsh said she and Bert Savage would like to hear Sir Max's views.

"I was inclined towards the President moving into a dictatorship though still having the Executive Council behind him to appease the masses."

Lady Marsh snorted and said that stood as a blasphemy against everything the party stood for. She pushed out her aged chest and snapped, "Explain yourself."

"Well, I favor country rule by the President backed by a non-partisan Executive Council with me as deputy chairman. I would hope my duties would not be too onerous as I like time to play around."

"Yes. Two of my daughters are victims of your vile and lax attitudes towards what you call 'playing around'."

"Oh Sylvia, go easy on Max. He's a man."

"Oh yes of course Bert, Lady Marsh said sarcastically. "You men are all the same. I have been thinking about contesting the leadership."

"Be my guest," Max said, pouring more wine. "You could be lucky and survive the first week of electioneering. You think you are tough but those in the Opposition and even colleagues on our side of the house offer no beg-your-pardons. They probe for weaknesses and go for it, intent of ripping open your belly. I'm thinking of only an 11-member Council plus the President."

"Oh please, Max. You make me feel faint."

"Just wait until you see blood on the floor -- your blood," Max jeered. 

Lady Marsh sniffed. "On the other hand, you have performed incredibly well for the party. Perhaps to induce you to work even harder and leave my other two daughters and the daughters of my friends alone we could suggest an incentive. Based on results of course, how would a Earldom sit with you?"

"Pretty well I'd think if accompanied by a generous land endowment. I have always coveted the State-owned Mount Windom Estates. Yes, the title Earl of Windom does have an air of exclusiveness about it. As you property know that land was seized by the British Imperialists from my maternal great-grandfather after his so-called disgrace of being convicted of gunrunning."

"Fine and yes I am aware of one of our country's greatest heroes. See Bert, we have this great understanding, don't we. I expect you to carry on at this level when I pass on my reins to you."

"Yes Sylvia. Max, I understand you frequently bedded my first wife and then ravished Penny within two weeks of my marriage to her?"

"If you say so Bert, I really can't remember."

"You can't remember?"

"Exactly Bert. You try having affairs and you'll see how complex it is with so many women lining up like brood mares and everyone requiring secrecy and the pressures that come with keeping the performance of this public service from your own family."

"Brood mares? This is so disgusting Max."

"Yes Sylvia but at least you understand. Perhaps you could brief Bert after you leave here. By the way, we have a case coming up before the Privy Council in London. I was wondering if you could possibly spare the time to go as my observer?"

"London? Oh Max. You darling. More wine please."

They continued on, discussing election timing, strategy and agreed to another meeting before calling together electorate chairmen to iron out more details and agreeing on an election date.

Max spoke to his wife Brenda briefly later in the day and related his conversation with the woman possessing the inflated belief she controlled the country so long as the National Unity Party ruled. Lady Brenda spoke supportively of his possible elevation in the peerage, saying he deserved further recognition of his unrelenting service to his country virtually throughout his entire lifetime from when entering the Navy and rising to become Deputy Chief of Defense Forces.

"Thank you dear. My word, I detect already that the signs usually associated with a woman of high social ranking are in evidence. It is just as well really."

"Why is that darling?"

"Your elevated title as my wife would be countess."

"Ohmigod."

Sir Gerald snorted with pleasure. "Keep the mouth closed about this Brenda. Tell no one until the day comes when the media advises the Earldom has been bestowed. It is absolutely paramount we adhere to convention because this is why the peerage has survived."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Goodbye My Lady."

* * *

Chase was impressed watching Kitty enter the restaurant and everyone greet her as if she were the PM. Jim would have his hands full if he managed to rope her in.

"Hello darling," she said, jumping to her feet to be kissed and to kiss.

"Oh lovely to see you again you charming lady," Kitty almost sang. "Your CV is impressive. You're hired."

"What already? Wasn't this to be an interview over lunch?"

"It's a well-paid but fairly light-weight job Chase, interviewing women about their submissions. If anything you are over qualified but we expect to expand your role."

"Doesn't the Government Services Subcommittee decide that?"

"No, I will darling. The committee simply figures out how to make it appear as if they were its decisions and to fund me adequately to avoid me complaining and calling in return favors to have committee members replaced."

"Oh, I didn't know Government operates in this manner."

Kitty smiled and said not many people did. "You, like Magnolia, will be on a learning curve. She understands without me telling her she'd just a figurehead at present, a pretty face. But in a few months when her detuning is complete and she is sexually stable again she and I will resign leaving perhaps you running the division."

"Me?"

"Oh darling, I don't see you as just a pretty face. Anyone capable of living with Jim to set a new record for cohabitation must have endurance and other desirable qualities and, of course, there is your very credible CV."

"But most people sneer at CVs."

"Not me, I spend part of yesterday afternoon and this morning checking yours out."

"God, you actually want me to work for you?"

Kitty smiled. "Of course -- my initial feeling was intuitive but now I have filled out the flesh. You probably don't know how good you are darling. I'll assist build your confidence. Now tell me, when will you start house-hunting?"

Chase turned wide-eyed. "I've found it, quite near my mother's home and very close to the Gratton Shopping Center with its fine mall and a great district of bars and restaurants. Jim is looking at it with me this evening. He has lots of property investments so I am keen to have his opinion."

"Smart thinking Chase. The best of luck. I was meaning to ask, do you like movies?" 

The new friendship was developing.

Returning from lunch Kitty said to Magnolia, "How do you feel about appearing on TV?"

"It isn't likely, is it? Gerry wants me hidden under a rock until you make repairs."

"Possibly 20% of the nation are engaged in same sex relationships, or multiple partner sex or experimenting in it or thinking about it or having experienced it sometime in their life."

Magnolia said carefully, "Do you know that for certain?"

"No and I know it's irresponsible to suggest that but it sounds about right to me although that means nothing. I'm sure we could find statistics if we were interested."

"Are you interested?"

"No Magnolia but what about you?"

"Oh dear, this is some sort of test."

"Not at all, but come on, are you interested?"

"Yes, but only to find out how many others are letting the side down."

"But when you were with that other women would either of you had thought you were letting the side down rather than thinking how nice it was for you both?"

Magnolia became edgy and said it was making her nervous talking about her not so distant liaison and the upset that had resulted. "It could have blown Gerry's standing in this nation as son of our greatest hero and may yet do that."

"Didn't you think that at the time?"

"No, of course not. If I had I would have had second thoughts and avoided committing to that liaison."




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 03



"Have there been others."

"That's the only one I have admitted. Please, can we stop this? I have been humiliated and feel deeply remorseful. I just thought we'd never been found out."

Kitty thanked Magnolia for her cooperation and openness and said she had a purpose for asking those questions.

"I thought as much."

"I think you and I should talk to Gerry about getting you on TV."

Magnolia laughed and said that was a relief because no way would Gerry agree to that.

"Oh, I don't know. You are forgetting he's a political animal and desires to turn the country's political structure on its head."

"You mean he'll says yes if he sees support and kudos for him in saying yes?"

Magnolia looked at Kitty who'd not replied and groaned, reading the answer on Kitty's face.

After dinner at the President's home that evening, where Kitty was Magnolia's guest, Gerry didn't even look dismayed let alone horrified when Kitty made the suggestion about Magnolia appearing on TV. Skye had gone off to try out the rose bath crystals Magnolia had given here along with a bottle of French perfume.

It was Magnolia who reacted with dismay. "Me appearing on TV? Gerry, I'd let the side down and promote civil unrest."

"That's one view, but the key is our level of effective control, isn't it Kitty? By the way, thank you for this excellent initiative."

"Gerry, you are making me feel flaky. You honestly want me to stand up and talk to the nation about my life as a lesbian?"

"A life at it?" Gerry asked in surprise. "You've only admitted the one liaison but I guessed there would have been others."

"I was initiated at senior boarding school and developed at college Gerry."

Sir Gerald suddenly looked flaky: he'd been a senior boarding school student and a dorm resident at college. "Well, moving on, I assume Kitty's concept doesn't involve lesbianism but she being experienced knows the interviewer will attempt to steer the interview in the direction of female homosexuality." 

With resignation etched in her face, Magnolia asked: "Kitty?"

"Keep calm on this Magnolia. As you know my mind goes into warp at times and has done so over this. I had been thinking about you and your girlfriend indulging in something obviously you two didn't consider was gross. I had been thinking of Gerry's road towards understanding. Finally I had been thinking of stimulating interest in our new office. Then those thoughts were warped and up popped the idea, the Thirty Minutes With Lydia TV program on Friday nights. I figured we wouldn't get you into that slot with just one of those issues, two of them might create some interest and with all three we could catch the producer's attention and then we if we authorize the interviewer to announce you intend standing for election to Parliament the producer will say, 'Bring it on.' Are you guys listening to me?"

Magnolia was slumped back on her chair, tongue hanging out while Gerry was hunched forward against the table, thumping his head into his hands with audible force.

Kitty rolled her eyes and then refocused in a flash and looked as she'd just been rolled by a truck when hearing Gerry boom: "Brilliant!"

"Have you gone mad?" Magnolia groaned, now staring at her husband through her fingers, her eyes huge.

"It's brilliant and it matters not if electors reject you," Gerry crowed. "The Constitution makes no mention of the wife and family being prevented from engaging in politics."

"Gerry, no one wants to be a loser."

"Great, then fight for election."

Magnolia looked at Kitty wildly, "How can you do this to me?"

"Oh Magnolia," she soothed. "This is only a discussion of a wacky idea."

"No it's not, look at him," Magnolia hissed, pointed at her beaming husband.

The President loosened his purple, yellow and lime green tie and said almost reverently, "You're a cracker Kitty."

"You're a bitch!"

"Takes one to know one," Kitty baited. She patted Magnolia's knee, "Come here for a hug."

"Don't let Skye catch you otherwise you two are dead," Gerry leered but with understanding.

An hour later Gerry rolled back on to his side of the bed. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

"Skye's been talking to me."

"What, you two talk about things like that? She's a bodyguard, not a sex instructor."

"Do you have reason for complaint?"

"No, but I'm sure that's pushed up my blood pressure but it'll subside quickly. As you know I workout a bit."

Steadying her mind, hew own pulse-rate subsiding from that bout of exhilarating bedroom athletics, Magnolia said, "Regarding this pathetic TV thing. I'll do it."

"How much of it?"

"All of it. As Kitty argues, it's a lynchpin in my extreme makeover. It will force my critics to take a fresh look at me."

"Great, give me a kiss."

Always one to enjoy kissing a lusty wench, Gerry twiddled at his wife's chest, "Ah Magnolia, what if the National Party doesn't select you to stand for a seat. Will you be devastated?"

"Of course not. I'll talk to Alf about standing with his party."

"Oh, the President's wife threatening to stand for the main Opposition Party if she's rejected? In that case you are assured of nomination for a seat darling. All we have to do is to pressure to ensure it's a winnable seat. Heh-heh-heh. Oh, are you aware Sir Max is plotting to stand politics on its head and go into the Election with the revolutionary idea of campaigning on changing the Constitution if re-elected to replace our one-House parliamentary system with bi-partisan rule by an 11-member Executive Council plus me as it's titular head."

"I have no idea of what you're talking about darling but I'm not surprised you are involved with your reference about tits."

Gerry grinned and advised Magnolia to inform Kitty what he'd just told her but it must be kept confidential. "Kitty will know how to handle that bombshell."

* * *

Next morning the President's new private secretary called on Magnolia and Kitty and said they were required to be with the President and Prime Minister for morning tea at 10:30 to meet a TV producer. The two women watched the young guy mince away.

"He's gay isn't he?"

"Yes Magnolia. Good spotting. You are becoming worldly."

"But you were seconded to the selection panel Kitty and you said you pushed for the only guy. Why for heaven's sake?"

"To put temptation out of your husband's way. With you deep into your rehabilitation I didn't want you wondering about the promiscuity of a female as Gerry's private secretary."

Magnolia smiled and called Kitty a real darling.

"Watch you mouth Magnolia," Skye growled.

The two women laughed and made a great show of touching each other's breast. But Skye was on to them and muttered, "Childish women."

Magnolia whispered, "I'm becoming so confident that I feel if it were riled I could smack Skye to the ground and sit on her until she surrendered to a superior combatant. I did learn elementary personal defense at university."

Aghast, Kitty warned Magnolia against wishful thinking. "Skye's capable of taking out two normal size and athletic men and four women without support."

"You're dreaming Kitty. She's just a little bigger and a little stronger than me, that's all. But I'd be a lot faster that Miss Plod."

"Magnolia, I implore you -- don't even think about it. Have you been smoking pot?"

"The girls were passing a pipe around at the admin meeting. I don't smoke but since I it was a pipe I did take a few puffs. Whatever it was it was feeble."

"It must have been some other mind-bending drug," Kitty sniggered but was ignored.

They trudged through the sprawling buildings and reached the inner sanctum.

"Hi Mike, we meet the President and PM at 10:30."

"Passes please Kitty."

"They're back in our handbags. For goodness sake Mike, I sat on your promotion panel."

"Sorry Kitty, but security has tightened with the President being in our building since his wife upset the nation by licking her way to national shame."

"This is Lady Fitzroy Mike."

"This lush? I bet my left testicle she'd not. The President's wife wears funny clothes, frowns and looks generally pathetic."

Kitty flared. "Mike, we'll be late if we go back for our passes. Stand aside, we're going through."

"Over my dead body," Mike snarled, blowing a whistle. Two guys burst from a side door, drawing batons.

"Mike please, don't make me do this."

"Fuck you Kitty -- you are all under arrest as suspect terrorists."

"Mike, this is your final warning. Please..."

"Feel a headache coming on Kitty?" Mike leered, pulling out his baton.

"Skye -- yoho!"

Skye charged, sending Mike sprawling. She grabbed the wrists of the baton hands of the other two guards and Magnolia and Kitty winced as they heard bones snap and the guards screamed. 

"You thug," Mike yelled, drawing his pistol attached to a white lanyard.

"Grrrrrrr!" roared Skye and leaping up kicked Mike in the upper chest. He went flying through the closed door of the photocopying room.

"Are you guys okay?" Skye asked, panting a little.

The two women nodded.

"I've just witnessed something miraculous," Magnolia breathed.

"Yes, she probably could have handled a fourth guard plus four women," Kitty said, phoning the chief of staff to brief him on a minor scuffle in Corridor A at the check point Charlie but reported technically there had been no breach of security, just an officious guard affected by his period. The chief of parliamentary staff had begun questioning her when Kitty cut the call.

"Come on guys," she called to her two companions as workers poured out of offices to witnesses the aftermath of mayhem. "Guys with machine guns and stun grenades will be on the way. We need to be clear."

"We'll be in deep crap," Magnolia moaned only to be told by Kitty she had to toughen up even more if she intended campaigning for election.

As they hurried onward Magnolia told her about the Prime Minister's as yet unannounced plan to restructure the nation's form of Government.

"The skunk, he's moving the country towards a dictatorship and will subsequently cutback the powers of the President," Kitty said, looking grim. "But enough, we'll deal with that later.

In the PM's office Kitty turned her successor pale as she briefed him. "Your job is to prevent Security from attempting to arrest us and thus ruining this important meeting for the President."

"H-how?"

"Call Janet and the chief of parliamentary staff with their activation keys to go into E-Alert and secure the PM's suite."

"But that's a National Security alert?"

"Just do it Basil, you can always argue later. I authorize you to do it."

"Yes Kitty, I mean Miss Loveridge."

"Kitty will do Basil. Chop chop.'

As they entered the PM's office Magnolia said, "I'm surprised you have that authority, you are only a low-level manager?"

"I am and I don't have such authority Magnolia. Just remember this: people under stress lose perspective."

"I must remember that."

"Good girl Magnolia. And you are an exceptionally good girl Skye."

"Thank you ma'am."

"It's miss," Magnolia whispered but Skye, grinning, just winked at her.

The PM strode to meet them as they entered. "Hi girls. What the..."

Sirens sounded and heavy steel shutters thumped to the ground.

"It's just an exercise Prime Minister," Kitty said.

"I haven't been informed."

"You just were."

"Oh, right."

Introductions were made and the briefing of TV producer Mrs Littlejohn began, Kitty excusing herself as soon as she finished her presentation. She went down into the bunker and emerged outside the building and re-entered, to find parliamentary security and the Police gathered outside the PM's suite and looking bewildered.

Kitty walked up to the head of parliamentary security and held out her hands to be cuffed.

"I was pissed off with Mike and he was touchy, probably it's his period."

"Men don't have periods."

"Well Guy, whatever they have instead. Just take me in and interrogate me. The other woman was the President's wife Lady Fitzroy with her minder from the Bureau."

"The Bureau?" said Guy and the word 'Bureau' echoed around them, other people turning pale. 

Guy swore and asked anxiously, "Was the guy hurt?"

"A guy, no it was a woman."

Guy swore hugely. "Skye? Oh God, was she hurt?"

"Nah, never lost her smile."

"Look Kitty, I can't arrest you. You encouraged my wife to kick my butt until I applied for the vacancy of chief of parliamentary security. Come with me to the office of the chief of staff and we'll chat about this."

Guy shouted, "Okay everyone. Stand down and back to what you were doing."

The chief of staff began explaining to Kitty that men don't have periods.

"Garth," said Guy, "Ease off, she was pulling our tit."

After an hour the men were satisfied they had their story off pat to present to the National Security Parliamentary Subcommittee and no one would be punished but the committee would be left with egg on its face because its multi-million-dollar plan to protect the Prime Minister against any attack had failed dismally. The realistic exercise -- the explanation suggested by Kitty -- had resulted in three security guards being moderately injured but the alarming outcome was four people -- all of them potentially terrorists -- were secured along with the PM when E-Alert maximum security took effect.

"It's back to the drawing board for the committee and they'll be censored by Parliament for coming up with a defective plan that cost millions to devise and will cost a few more millions to remedy," 

The officials laughed. Kitty went to her department's temporary office.

Gloria the barmaid was feeling Skye's arm muscles when Kitty entered and they both jumped apart when catching Kitty's frown. Magnolia was staring at a blank wall looking shell-shocked.

"Oh darling, what's the matter?"

"My half-hour interview is this Friday night. Mrs Littlejohn said my story was too hot not to screen this Friday. The interview with the Archbishop will run the following Friday. I'm to go to the studio tomorrow for coaching."

"That's wonderful. You'll have me with you and Skye to hold your hand."

Magnolia burst into tears and said the TV station had just phoned and said they didn't want Kitty or Skye near the studio because rumor was Kitty and Skye had virtually wrecked Parliament Buildings, bringing everything to a standstill.

"Gloria, over here and comfort Magnolia please. Skye you make sure they don't go over the top," Kitty said, pulling out her phone.

"Who called you from the studio Magnolia?"

"The production manager, Rick Wagstaff."

Kitty drummed her nails until a voice said, "Mr Wagstaff?"

"Speaking."

"Oh hi Rick. I'm a fan of the quality of programs put out by you and your team. I'm Kitty at Parliament, known for my ability to kick ass. So, do we talk nicely or take off the gloves Rick?"

"You guys apparently almost demolished Parliament Buildings."

"Oh Rick, you know about rumors. Never believe them. Just call the PM's chief of staff and he'll tell you all about a realistic exercise to test defenses against terrorist attack. Your TV news department will know all about it as well."

"You're sure about that?"

"I was there Rick. By the way, you are happily married to Lucy aren't you?"

"Lucille, actually."

"Oh, sweet name. I work with a lovely young woman who happens to be rather morally relaxed should we say."

"Oh yeah and what has that got to do with me?"

"Her name is Gloria Bevan -- GB, remember?"

Kitty grinned at the sound of Rick drawing deep breath.

"Don't believe rumors Kitty. Oh, by the way, the three of you lovely ladies are welcome here tomorrow -- you and the big one as my personal guests."

"You're so sweet Rick. Bye."

Magnolia, who'd been following the conversation and was wearing her dark glasses to hide signs of tears, eased out of Gloria's arms and said, "You are incredible how you handle men Kitty. It's a wonder you're not on your back permanently."

"You know it's not all it's cracked up to be Magnolia. There are other things I want from a man."

Magnolia, Gloria and Skye nodded solemnly and then looked a little puzzled.

"Gloria, the rush will start soon so you better get back behind the bar. You other two go home early and terrorize the staff until Gerry arrives home. I'll stay on and write the script for the presenter on Friday."

Magnolia said, looking a little more composed, "Mrs Littlejohn said Lydia the presenter is a law unto herself and follows no instructions and demands a free hand, even from the studio. She gets the ratings so she gets what she wants."

"Oh honey, the presenter will be there tomorrow to say hi and to assess you. Then she'll go off with Skye and me for a wee chat."

Magnolia sighed and said to be terrorized more likely.

"Probably not Magnolia. You see to hold her position she'll be a pretty smart woman and I won't even have to threaten her. She'll read between the lines and will be impressed just watching Skye cracking her knuckles. You can expect nothing but a smooth-running interview that will of course touch quite deeply on your afternoon of madness."

"My afternoon of madness'? That sounds almost heroic."

"Don't become too carried away darling. Off you go."

To be Continued



The President's Gay Wife Pt. 04



Chapter 10

Canned food tycoon Sir Richard Marsh sat with Lady Marsh, chairman of the National Unity Party, to watch the highly promoted program of Lydia Lovelock interviewing the 'controversial' wife of the President, The Lady Magnolia Fitzroy.

Richard sniffed and Sylvia told him to stop sniffing because it was an impolite habit.

"What did Magnolia actually do with this other woman?" he asked. "I've never been sure what gay women would do."

"Just about everything that a man and women do, even more if they are inventive. Now shut up and listen."

"Couldn't we watch a travel show?" 

"No."

Richard sighed and worried about the price of steel creeping up in the face of worldwide demand.

The interviewer, very attractive for a forty-something, was back-grounding the controversy surrounding Lady Fitzroy unfortunately being exposed publicly as having a lesbian affair and that the term 'controversy' had arisen because the Gay Woman's Collective had argued it was a perfectly acceptable coupling to occur between two women whereas the pulpit thumpers and the Greens had spat brimstone in opposing such wishy-washy acceptance labeling that as being 'morally bereft'.

The woman then told viewers if the sordid affair was in dispute as being 'controversial' then what about Lady Fitzroy's intention to stand for a parliamentary seat in the next General Election?

"What!" Sylvia screamed.

"What's what?"

"Be quiet, and listen. This is of grave national importance."

Yeah, yeah, Richard thought. So was a shortage of tinned cat food not twelve months ago when Sylvia had found empty shelves at the supermarket with a sign saying 'Try dog roll'. Women actually marched on Parliament calling for a national emergency to be declared. Those cat lovers had no brains -- they should have called for the Air Force to fly in supplies from abroad, using the emergency as a military exercise.

Richard looked at the sweet Lady Fitzroy and thought of the days when women like her virtually lined up to ask if he were interested. He wasn't of course, being happily married to Sylvia who in those days was ravishing and he ravished her often. Of course there were the occasional exceptions and this cute lady would have been a regular exception.

Intervier: Why have you decided to stand for a seat in Parliament?

Lady Fitzroy: To become a MP.

Richard roared with laughter and said, "Oh darling, aren't you so sweet."

Sylvia almost choked with anger as she was also sucking her hair, something she did when under stress and denied it was just as repulsive as a man scratching his nuts. "Will you shut up!"

"Yes dear." He decided to say that instead of asking what was that dear?

The dreary woman labored on asking pedestrian questions until they reached a very juicy bit, encouraging Richard to sit forward on his chair, brushing his moustache as if it were to announce a company takeover offer.

Interviewer: When both of you undressed and you sank down to fondle one another, what were your thoughts?

Lady Fitzroy: I hoped I was going to like what was about to happen. It was my afternoon of madness.

Interviewer: No feeling of repulsion?

Lady Fitzroy: Of course not. Do you see women's bared bodies as being repulsive.

Interviewer: No, of course not.

Lady Fitzroy: Then why ask the question?

Interviewer: Look, I'm the interviewer. After it finished did you feel you loved that other woman?

Lady Fitzroy: No.

Interviewer: Don't you feel that was a little strange?

Lady Fizroy: Of course not, do you love all the men who [bleep] you.

Intervierer (turning puce): We pause here for an ad break.  

Richard said to his wife, noting she had stuffed strands of hair into both sides of her mouth, "That was a riveting piece of TV. Lady Fitzroy is running rings around that interviewer who is touted as TV Interviewer of the Year."

"Darling, I think you have lost yourself in interview byplay instead of judging the interviewer on her ability to draw out meritorious responses?"

"What was that dear?"

"Stop being a clown Richard, you can see I'm under extreme stress."

"Why?"

"Because this woman, a whore, has told the country on network TV that she is going to contest a seat on behalf of the National Unity Party with no approach having been made to me. Damn that slimy husband of hers who has unreasonable influence on the PM who is our political party leader."

"Don't blame him. She's got more brains than he has. And why call her a whore? I can't recall you calling yourself a whore when you were putting it around during a downside in our relationship?"

Sylvia bristled. "Richard, for goodness sake, there can be no comparison because at that time I was under stress. I'm also telling you now she'll not win selection to stand for a seat because I remain disgusted by her despicable behavior with that other woman and she did not have the decency to make an appointment with me to discuss her political ambition."

"Bad move Sylvia, she'll go to Alf and offer to stand for a seat to represent his party."

"Poof, he won't do that. Alf has indicated he's divorcing his wife."

"Don't be thick Sylvia. Alf will go for her, especially if the country roots for this Magnolia standing against the National Unity Party who spurned her. You know what they say about people taking the side of the little battler."

"Oh God, Richard. You're so right. I've been blinded by my anger. We must have Lord Fitzroy and that woman of his over for dinner tomorrow."

"You better do better than referring to her as 'that woman' darling."

"Oh yes, of course. I sit reprimanded dear."

* * *

As arranged, Magnolia sat alone with Lydia Lovelock in the presenter's locked dressing room for a half-an-hour after the interview while they sipped wine and discussed reactions as Lydia believed the best critics of any interview were the interviewer and her subject. She already knew Magnolia would speak her mind.

"You were delightful to interview Magnolia, quick-minded, witty and clear in diction and in how you expressed yourself. You can imagine my initial thoughts when told, without you being named at that point, you were a mindless lesbian married to a guy almost twice your age and you had only just recently taken up work and regularly hobnob with the gentry."

"Yes, it must have been confusing for you. And when you were given my name?"

"I rub my hands and thought I'd publicly crucify the slut."

"And?"

"In rolls Kitty Loveridge. She's awesome but consistently refuses to come on to my show."

"Why not?"

"She says she prefers to operate out of the limelight. Have you and she, you know?"

"Lydia, for goodness sake. She'd murder me if I dared to touch. By the way, you departed from the agreed script."

"Yes I know and I wished I hadn't because you hammered me on both occasions, but then again it produced hot television. I had Kitty's permission to deviate a little and she understood, saying following a script makes an interview appear rather stilted. I nearly died when you used the f-word. No one has ever done that to me before."

"Sorry, I became a little carried away. It would be bleeped wouldn't it?"

"I would think so. I'd like to put this interview aside to join the few I have as possible entries for media awards. Would you mind?"

"No, of course not. In return, would you do the commentary of a pre-election promo I plan to have done. Kitty says we need to find a woman with a rather low-pitched voice. In my opinion that's you. I would pay you well."

"It's my policy not to..."

"Please, I have to burst out of this lesbian fixation people now have of me. I want to expose to them my potential of growing to become a politician of some significance in representing the people."

Lydia sighed, "As a champion of women's interests?"

"Stuff that. There are other Patsies around to prattle on about that. I hope to represent the National Unity Party so my platform will be to push for advances in nationalism including national identify to accurately this country's diverse nationalities and cultures because were are a nation of immigrants."

"Wow, yes of course I'll do the narration. Would you like to lunch with me on Sunday? I live alone but various guys have a habit of walking in when I'm feeling in need of company, if you know what I mean. Bring your minder, I think she's lovely and bring your husband if he's available or leave him at home if you believe he will be politically embarrassed by my somewhat immoral lifestyle."

"Goodness. You are a TV celebrity so I think he'll feel it's an invitation he was justified in accepting. He also says firmly he can't be held responsible for the wickedness of misfits he associates with and that perhaps explains why he's sticking with me. By the way, have you interviewed Jim Gee?"

"He's another one who turns us down. His father owns a rival TV station in this city."

"When we go to dinner in a few minutes I suggest you wheedle Kitty into putting the hard word on Jim. She and Jim are about to resume a relationship after a sixteen-year gap."

"Ohmigod. Kitty is as hard as nails except I imagine when in bed and like him she is driven and consumed by everything she lays a hand to. Those two are made for one another."

"Lydia, what about this? Get them both on together and push to get the show extended for an hour. Have two others with you asking questions because Jim and Kitty are very personable and knowledgeable. And then wind up the show with them saying what they see in one another and why they hear wedding bells. Half the women in this city may harbor the thoughts of having Jim Gee's slippers under their bed. Those women and men who know of Kitty will wonder what Jim sees in her as many know her as kick-ass Kitty." 

"Yeah, great idea. Thanks and we better join the others now. Let's see what Kitty says about assisting to push Jim on to my show first."

Kitty met Jim the next day for their long-planned lunch. Both wore jeans, an open-neck white shirt and sneakers, so a casual lunch-place seemed inevitable.

"Hi, you look very kissable," he greeted, kissing her.

Coming up for breath she said smoothly, "You've learned to kiss well."

"Yes, indeed. Imagine had I'd stalled at sexual development had I spent the past sixteen years glued to your side?"

"Yeah, and me still waiting for you to get over your fumbling to have sex with me."

"Did that comment end with a question mark or was it a statement."

"Let me see. And still waiting to have sex with me -- question mark."

"I would have banged you the first night."

"Oooh."

He grinned and she thought the exposed enamel checked out just great. So, did he like her perfume?

They began walking aimlessly, he talking her arm and then sniffing.

She held her breath.

"Is that sweat I detect?"

She snorted and attempted to pull her arm out the crook of his arm but he clamped it.

"Unable to appreciate a delicately balanced sense of humor eh?"

"You're a pig."

"Oh dear but is that being kind to pigs?"

She relaxed against him.

"That's better. I can't name it but because of the exotic depth of fragrance I would have to guess French."

"That's good enough. Oh, here's an outside table under an umbrella. Will this do?"

"What kind of restaurant is it?"

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose not. In this expensive locality it wouldn't survive if it weren't good."

"It could have been a butcher's shop yesterday and opened today as a restaurant."

"Good thinking, I'll have meat."

Kitty decided on balance they were getting along pretty well. Both were strong-willed so could not expect too much. "Did you watch my protégé on TV last night?"

"I did, keeping one eye on it. It was prime time for me."

"Of course, always a newspaper to produce. What did you think?"

"Truly?"

Kitty sighed and held up her hand to attract the attention of a waiter.

"I thought it was running to script but then took a couple of amazing twists. Rarely have I seen Lydia so much on the back foot that I had a rethink. Anyway, it's amazing what you have achieved with Lady Fitzroy in such a short time."

"Thank you. Lydia wants you to appear on her show."

"Okay."

"You'll do it?"

"Does okay in that context mean something else?"

Kitty reached across and squeezed his arm affectionately. "I expected you to rant so didn't bother with a soft sell."

"The fact you didn't bother with the soft sell told me you really had worked it through with Lydia and thought I should say yes, because you must have a reason for asking."

"Fair enough but you would think my reasoning is petty."

"Try me."

Kitty wondered how to break it to him that Lydia also wanted her to appear with Jim. She decided to hold out on that for as long as possible. "Magnolia wants Lydia to narrate a promo she intends having made professionally to help push her election chances."

"I see. She agrees conditionally that my good friend Kitty delivers me to Lydia's program?"

"Something like that."

"Well how about this. I'm adding a condition to my appearance -- that we both appear for a joint interview."

Her mind reeling, Kitty said, "Are you certain you want that? I've refused her in the past and what if we clashed on public TV?"

"Viewers would probably find that very believable. Think of the honesty of your protégé when asked about her thoughts on embarking on a woman-on-woman bonk -- 'I wondered if I were going to like this?' No fancy intellective thought and sure as hell that wasn't part of your script."

"My script?"

"Yes, your script. Your fingerprints were all over it? That term she used, 'My afternoon of madness' is so you. Although that part was reactionary rather than scripted I know you would have dropped that phrase on to her lap during pre-appearance chatting."

"Well, I was less than honest with you. I should have said earlier I was responsible for most of the script. I needed to keep control because Magnolia had so much to lose if the interview had gone against her."

"I can accept that. Shall we agree neither of us attempts to control our joint appearance if Lydia decides she really wants us on her show together?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Then you have my word not to interfere or influence."

Their wine arrived and they opened their classy menus.

"This is a fish restaurant," he charged.

"So much for my theory this was a butcher's shop until last night. It may be of some comfort to you to find I'm not always right and certainly not always in control."

Jim gave her a toothy smile. "I'm going to enjoy living with you because you are so damn interesting. And no pushover."

"Thank you. It may interest you that I could consider marrying you if you prove to be a great bonk."

"Actually this selection of fish looks very good."

"Not interested in what I just said?"

"Oh, I took that for granted as why else would you seek to pick up with me again after such a long gap? You are aware women are figuratively strewn in my wake like bananas behind a group of migrating monkeys. All have tried me and rejected me and now you see it as your duty to pick me up and carry me to the altar to ensure my life is not totally wasted by allowing me to legitimately father your thirteen children."

Kitty spluttered on her wine. "Thirteen?"

"Whatever."

"I rather like that story."

Jim smiled and asked why do she think he was sniffing around again?

"Oh, it's not a colorful and total fabrication like yours. You complained to your mother you could find no one to marry. She said marry Kitty, you're always moaning on about her. End of story."

"Kitty, your imagination simply overwhelms me. Undo your top two buttons."

With hesitation or protest Kitty undid two and then undid the third because she thought he was being a good boy and deserved a bonus.

Neither of them mentioned what she'd done but she was aware he was often looking there when speaking. He was such a good boy for not making a thing about it when he could easily have heaped a thousand words of praise and adoration and included poetic quotations conveniently underpinning his fixation on that part of the developed anatomy of women. They knew each other and thought similar closely enough to know there were times when you communicate without speaking and feel totally comfortable about sharing the same wavelength. She also believed proudly that she had great looking breasts. That's why there was no need to fuss. Kitty prepared to slide him into an intelligent conversation but in the meantime she was in no hurry because not many women have a guy who truly admires them.

Next day as Kitty and Jim sauntered arm-in-arm through the great relic of British Imperialism, the botanical gardens, they did talk like intelligent adults. But near the end of their time over afternoon tea in the pavilion, the conversation took the expected twist back to sex.

He said: "Is this enough wooing?"

She said: "Two two-hour session is not much, but I suppose so."

"Here now, under a tree away from the pathway?"

He was practically panting, she thought. But she wanted it to be imprinted in her mind until she died, hopefully that not being when she felt him drive into her for the very first time.

"Not today."

"When."

"Soon."

"How soon."

"It's your call."

Jim was left hanging like a man divorced from his brain and mouth.

Kitty could have written a letter to her mother by the time he reconnected and asked, "Where?"

"At the place of unfinished business."

He paled and said the alley and she nodded.

"That is insane. If caught having a full-on bonk we could go to jail and our careers ruined."

"Despite Sir Max's best efforts, aided and abetted by Lord Fitzroy, this is not yet a police state."

Jim smiled at that barb. "Why?"

"One could ask that about anything."

He replied staunchly what she'd just said was not about anything. It was about something momentous."

"Aw, you are so cute. I really should give it to you now."

Jim looked around the crowded pavilion, with a line of people waiting for tables to be vacated. The alley would actually be more acceptable than in the pavilion and in the alley no one would be put off his or her food.

He did his best to face her with a grin. "All right, the alley."

"Good."

Later, running through in his mind that little outing in the park, Jim thought his stupid surrender to her idiotic demand was almost made worth it by her glorious smile. She was the one. He'd never met a woman who could handle him like she did. Unlike most women she'd never try to curb his freedom principally because he reckoned she'd not like it if he didn't come back to her but she was so confident about herself she'd know he'd made his decision and she'd get on with her life. Knowing she could cope with the final goodbye, or even in the absence of the breaking of the linkage without a goodbye, she knew she didn't have to bother about him being home at the time she wanted to serve of meal or watch TV with him or bonk because she felt like it. She would allow him to work 'his ridiculous hours' at his beloved newspaper with or without her consent and she'd not try to impose her will on him or expect him to alter to suit her. 

But he also knew she'd expect him to keep her in mind and to be somewhat accommodating simply because she knew he would know when and where she wanted him to be providing it suited him. Ah yes, with her it was all about him and that made her the perfect woman whereas she couldn't care a hoot whether or not he was perfect but she did want him around as she did have the ultimate desire to attach to someone. How did he know that? Because he'd studied her, thought about her and he'd never been on such clear wavelength with any other person as he was with Kitty. Yes, it was about wavelength. He wouldn't expect anyone else to understand how she could allow him to be so selfish and yet want to be with him. Actually it wasn't necessary to have other people understand. It wasn't about other people.




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 04



Jim came out of that deep reflection to find Kitty had a been over to pay the bill and stood waiting for him to come out of it. Wasn't she so perfect! Kick-ass Kitty and Scurrilous Jim were such a perfect match. He'd attempt to sell that concept to her very soon.

They walked off to flag down cabs, going in different directions, Jim agreeing to come to the opening of Magnolia's new offices as part of Magnolia's official guest list. 

"Not as your guest?"

"I'm inviting no one. This is my first public outing of Magnolia and I want it to be her afternoon."

"That's noble of you -- I've been told the whole thrust behind the office is you."

"Even if that were true why horn in? I have no need for exposure. My kick-ass reputation is sufficient for people who matter to remember who I am. Come to think of it, you could do a lot more to increase your public exposure."

"I have no need because I work for love and because with my stockholding and managing the proxies of my parents, there is no need for me to be anything more than scurrilous, lashing out with the power of my cutting words."

"I'm managing Magnolia's election campaign."

Jim's nostrils flared. "I had worked that out as being inevitable as being so appropriate. I was wondering..."

"If your newspaper could be given a crack at her on the eve of her launch?"

"Certainly. It's as good as penciled in."

"Thank you Jim. But I want much more than a cursory appraisal."

"Christ."

"She's the wife of the President."

"Granted."

"A fallen lady."

"Very much granted." Jim scratched his neck. "Look, you guys are no different than anyone else when it comes to allocation of resources and publishing space."

"Granted."

"And the fact I'm keen on you..."

"How keen?"

"Fast approaching infatuation."

"Oh dear. Please proceed."

Jim said the fact of his personal association also must be kept muted.

"Granted, I wouldn't expect anything less that level pegging except..."

"Oh Christ, here we go. What?"

"I want wee involvement."

"How big is your wee?"

Kitty told him not to be so revolting and they laughed. "I want Murray Locke to do it."

"For fuck sake Kitty, he's capable of blowing her into oblivion if he finds facts to justify that."

"I want you to send him to England to dig."

Jim stopped and waved his arms up and down like a penguin with itchy flippers.

"Finally I plea for an approach, if its fits, something like, 'Arising from a mad afternoon of disgusting excessiveness to passionate determination to redeem herself by aiming for well-deserved political glory'."

"Is that all?"

"Yes and don't be so rude."

"I'll tell you this Kitty, you can have anything you like providing you can justify it."

"Oh, excellent Mr Editor. Incidentally, why are you just editor rather than managing editor, editor in chief or executive editor?"

"Because I work as an editor so why call myself anything other than editor? I would think that would sit comfortably by all my other editors if they bothered to think about it."

"How impressive."

"Stop the crap and here are the questions. Why Murray Locke?"

"He's not out for self-glory either. He is a talented writer, roots and grunts turning over every stone and although acts just like one of the also-rans does have a line-up of awards in journalism that would fill a jeweler's shop."

"Fair enough but why send him to England - consider the expense?"

"Well, if the price is too high for your company or against damn policy, consider forking across your own money. Rumor has it you have plenty. We don't really know about the candidate. She declines to talk about her past and even fobs off me ever so cutely. Gerry refuses to talk about her background. And why did he pick her when he went to England randy and had a huge choice of comely wenches who'd be eager to come for him often."

"You are so disgusting."

"Yes, I can be at times. You have a nose for a story Jim and you know I have. I smell a story, a really big story and I'm very frustrated because I am unable to determine whether it's good or bad."

"I'll get our best London stringer to do the digging."

"Jim!"

"Okay, I don't want my ass kicked. Murray Locke can go and your suggested theme sounds acceptable to me but Murray shall decide. From unbridled lust to redemption through political glory could actually sell papers and pull in an award or two."

"Thank you, you're a good boy."

"I have to warn, this could go all wrong and all but destroy your Magnolia."

"Fine, she's expendable. But if you're wrong about that she's on her way to Parliament."

"God, you're coming close to being heartless Kitty. Magnolia has befriended you."

Kitty hailed a cab and kissing him said well it was only right to know how she was before deciding whether he wanted her tail permanently.

The cab was pulling away when it stopped and Kitty beckoned to Jim. He rushed forward.

"We almost forget. When?"

"The alley?"

"Yes dummy."

He scratched his crotch, thinking, and then replied: "Soon. The courtship will continue and we'll just head there when we both know it's time."

Kitty pulled his head through the window to kiss him. "God, no one told me you are capable of being romantic. Now off you go."

Chapter 11

Lord and Lady Fitzroy, Kitty and Skye were in a restaurant, Skye reading up on her latest interest, the very expensive book Magnolia had brought for her titled, 'How To Prepare to Enter High Society', the others engaged in Magnolia's campaign.

Kitty said, "Ask him Magnolia."

"Gerry, I demand..."

Kitty soothed, telling Magnolia to request rather than demand.

"Gerry, I request to be allowed to use my title again. Forthwith would be appreciated."

"Certainly Lady Fitzroy."

"Oh you darling ram," Magnolia said, smothering his face with tiny kisses. He didn't mind because she used gloss rather than lipstick.

"I request you lodge the maximum allowable into my personal election fund. That's a miserly $50,000 darling."

"I'll have my personal check delivered to Kitty tomorrow."

"I request Skye be assigned to me personally on a year's contract."

"If that okay by you Skye?"

"Yes Gerry."

Magnolia urged Skye to apologize and when in public call the President Lord Fitzroy.

"Skye is family," he said tolerantly. "She knows to use my title on official occasions."

Magnolia rumbled, "You two have become very close. Exactly what do you and Skye do?"

"Well dear, since you asked..."

"Gerry, for God's sake," Kitty urged. "Magnolia doesn't need to be told. Let her guess."

"I'm not bothered," Magnolia sighed. "My mind has to lift beyond that of a slut."

"Way to go girl," Kitty urged. "You mind must remain fixed on your future. Now for the final request."

"Gerry, will you kindly personally endorse me as a candidate as soon as Kitty asks you for that endorsement? You are supposed to keep from direct involvement in politics but then you are the President."

With the appearance of a rat cornered by dogs, Sir Gerald croaked, "Of course dear, I very much want to do that but protocol forbids me to do it." 

Magnolia grinned and said Kitty had old her he'd say that, quoting almost exactly the words he'd used.

The three of then dwelt on organizing and conducting an effective campaign. Magnolia confessed she didn't know what was involved and Kitty acknowledging that there really was a lot more to it than she'd realized.

Gerry's eyes twinkled. "Well, don't worry ladies, most electors stand in the voting booths either unsure of who to vote for or just looking for the names that appeal."

"That's why I thought I would have an edge by using my title," Lady Fitzroy smiled. Her husband dissolved that smile in saying of course it could have a severe adverse impact.

"What did you think Kitty?" Magnolia asked anxiously.

"By true to yourself, be who you are throughout the entire campaign."

"Oh, like 'Hi voters, this is Lady Fitzroy, who blew it by becoming a lesbian and now aim to keep some mug from entering Parliament by grabbing his or her seat."

"A tad cynical," said her husband, watching his glass being refilled with red wine, but I would suggest you refer to yourself as being a retired lesbian."

He watched the hand of the wine pourer shake and nodded appreciatively when the woman managed to avoid spilling a drop.

"Actually Lady Fitzroy..."

"For goodness sake Kitty, I'm Magnolia to you and to you Skye but Skye didn't hear, being engrossed in protocol about bowing from the neck and when to curtsy with restraint or fully.

"Actually I want you to avoid all reference to your afternoon of madness apart when answering direct questions about that encounter."

"What pretend it didn't happen?"

"You won't need to worry about that, plenty of people will shout reminders. I just don't want you filling a void by mentioning it. Also tactically take the initiative and even say, 'Thank you for reminding everyone of my afternoon of madness but like all sitting MPs and new candidates I choose to put the downside incidents of my past behind me because ahead of us is the future and that is where are focus must be'. I'll coach you to become word perfect on that and to handle rebuttal with aplomb."

"Yes Magnolia," Gerry said, smacking his lips after swallowing good wine, "there are also other political ruses to use and a good one to remember is to always answer an awkward question with a question. It rarely fails and you a nimble-footed enough to succeed well. Like the crafty old fox, your focus has to be to stay ahead of the pack, in your case your detractors. As Sylvia Marsh assured us at dinner the other night you are guaranteed nomination for a seat because she will tell the committee of the electorate you have her support."

"Yes, but what does 'support' mean?"

"I explain to you darling that is the minimum she has to do. Remember, the old cow despises you."

"This discussion is unnecessary Gerry," Kitty smiled at him like she imaged an assassin would. "Magnolia and I have an appointment with Alf and the chairman of his party tomorrow to present our proposal and to be advised what's on offer."

Instead of falling out of his chair, Gerry smiled at Kitty. ""My dear, would you give me the privilege of delivering the result of that encounter to Lady Marsh at your earliest convenience."

"But I thought..."

"Party loyalty? Yes, I have that by the truckload but my dislike for the old battleaxe has soared to new heights and above party loyalty now that she showed her contempt for my dear wife in front of me."

* * *

Kitty went to the offices of the Guardian, called by Jim for an urgent meeting with the chief political reporter Murray Locke.

She entered the meeting room and kissed Jim and then turned and kissed the surprised bureau chief.

"Why did you do that? I hated you guts when I was a junior in the gallery team for this paper when it was called the City Morning News."

"Oh, that was when you were the opposition, scum. It's different now because we're not in competition and because I need you."

Murray grinned.

"We have a crisis Kitty. Earlier this morning I received Murray's application for three months' leave, due as a sabbatical after fifteen years' service. He plans to go mountain climbing in South America and would be there at the time you'd like him nosing around in England. He's prepared to reschedule providing he is convinced it would be worthwhile. I have been unsuccessful trying to convince him, hence the call to you."

"Give you best to me baby," Murray leered and Kitty told him a married man should not look at a woman like that. They laughed and them men watched Kitty silently, knowing she was struggling with a problem. Finally she said, "Jim, could you kindly leave us. I have to break a confidence and feel uncomfortable about it."

"Right, I understand. Come to my office when you're through."

As he left Kitty said, Murray..."

"I know, my lips are sealed on this one baby."

"You know that the cream of new reporters get to that pinnacle because they have a nose for a story and act on it fearlessly when their nose twitches even knowing that failure could be all they end up with?"

"Yes, you certainly had it and I think I have it."

"You do Murray, you do. My protégé Lady Blewitt has a bodyguard whom I found for her and we three get along famously and spend a great deal of time together. I've sent myself almost stilly trying to pump Magnolia about her past, to no avail. She is incredible good."

"What, that two-bit...sorry. I wasn't aware you cared."

The bodyguard is with her 24/7 and as you can imagine they spend their waking hours together. Well I found it easier to squeeze the bodyguard, although she's definitely no pushover. Magnolia and husband had gone to bed and the bodyguard and I were chatting and during a lull she said could she tell me a big secret, that I must not tell anyone. All she said was, Magnolia told her she was a lady before she met and married the boss."

"So?"

"Don't you see, that's Lady with a capital 'L'. We all assumed she took her title when marrying the boss -- I mean Lord Fitzroy -- with his hereditary title. She was a lady with a capital L before she married him. And that explains why it was all so secret about the wedding."

"Jesus."

"Interested?"

"You bet. Come, I'll take you to the boss."

It was the first time Kitty had been in Jim's office and she loved what she found. It reeked of tradition as the 180-year-old paneled office had been dismantled and re-erected in the new office building some twenty years ago, because Jim's father wanted his father and grandfather's office as his office in the replacement building. And their son's office, breathed Kitty, looking around in awe as Jim showed her around after Murray had delivered Jim his decision.

Jim was beside himself in curiosity. "Can you give me a hint?"

"I'll do better than that except I can't say how I found out. Lady Magnolia was Lady Magnolia in her own right before her marriage to Sir Gerald."

"Is that all?"

"Well, inside me I know we are going to be blown away with the findings."

"What, up the peerage line a bit?"

"My sixth sense tells me quite a bit."

"Jesus."

"You and Murray are a little alike in your one-word utterances."

Jim shrugged, appearing not to understand and his mind was roaring away about an exposé that would also capture the passionate interest of the British and Commonwealth media when the Guardian released it. 

Within minutes Kitty left for the Office of Public Records to look up the copy of Lady Magnolia's marriage certificate and immigration and citizenship application details to hand over to Murray. She knew it would be useless going to Gerry because his lips were sealed on this matter. She decided to do the searches to confine those involved to the expected exposé to the minimum and would hand over relevant findings to Murray. The findings were significant, to say the least.

* * *

Leaving the meeting with Alf Struthers, leader of the New Age Party and party chairman, Magnolia said to Kitty, "I don't like that Struthers man at all." 

"Join the club but this is politics; we have to do what we have to do."

"Like shoot him? Little wonder his poor wife zeroed in on me for sympathy and love but look where that got her?"

"Out of a loveless marriage she found appalling?"

"Oh yes, I have to agree. And with a good attorney she'll be able to afford to live in comfort until she finds a more suitable prospective husband; that is if she bothers to look. I can't understand why you were so quick for me to accept their offer of the Seat of Harrington."

"Simple, because it's a marginal seat in a quite toffee-nose area, center of private schools, inhabited substantially with people of middle income parents who are on the way up and to whom wealth and privilege really mean something."

"How did you know that?"

"Because the seat was number two on my list of ten seats that I would recommend acceptance of any one of them. We could not expect them to offer you a Blue Ribbon seat. Alf and Gatland will expect you to win Harrington which is why they indicated the selection process would be managed to ensure you became the candidate."

Magnolia looked at the improving quality of dwellings as they drove closer to their more familiar part of the city. By managed do you mean rigged?

"I'm sure the word rigged is a banned word anywhere near the election process."

"Yes if course. How well did I present?"

"Marvelous darling, you present like a winner. Every day I see that confidence building and I'm finding it more and more difficult to find bits to polish."

"That's good isn't it? You know not to expect perfection from me."

"True, but the goal is near-perfection. You'll achieve that goal."

* * *

Gatecrashers outnumbered invited guests and a small representation of the media at the opening in the Media Conference Center of the new division of the Prime Minister's Department called the Office of Equal Opportunity. Lady Fitzroy looked sensational in the tight multi-blue silk gown Kitty had found for her at Kitty's favorite boutique.

"We will run short of refreshments," Magnolia worried.

"Relax, parliamentary catering is on to it."

"Oh thank you Kitty. Why is that awful Lady Marsh here?"

"Because I invited her on your behalf. I want her to hear you speak and be impressed."

"But why, I am to accept the Huntington Seat aren't I?"

"Harrington Seat darling. No. Within a few days Lady Marsh will have brought her cronies into line and under 'management' will offer you the seat of your choice, within reason."

"And what seat will I choose?"

"Where you live of course, Mayfair Heights"

Magnolia almost dropped her clutch bag in surprise, just managing to grasp it. "But that is Spencer Arnold's seat he's held for nineteen years."

"So long that he's political irrelevant and his majority, at his peak of 11,759 has gradually slid and now is in red zone of 699. A slight swing away from the Government and that once Blue Ribbon seat is gone."

"But me as the alternative to Spence Arnold, who's something of an institution. I really don't think so."

Kitty patted her boss on the arm. "Think politically darling, with you not standing for Mayfair Heights but standing for Harrington, National Unity know they are staring down the barrel of effectively losing two seats if they stay with Spencer."

"God Kitty, how do you know all this?"

"I'm never out of range of politics. Here comes Lord Humphries to pat your ass. Remember to ask him to consider becoming the inaugural patron of our office, subject to lodging a handsome donation."

Magnolia protested saying they hadn't discussed such an appointment.

"But we have now darling. Being retired President of the Court of Appeal, he'll have an interest because he was Chief Judge of the Employment Court until his elevation. Two grand and we'll consider his honorary appointment, five grand and it's his. Remember to ask after the health of his wife, Lady Marion."

"Are you sure it isn't The Lady Marion?"

"Does it matter, this is not England. Good luck with your speech. Oh, by the way, Lady Marsh was invited so that Gerry can drop the bombshell of you being offered Harrington by Alf. Come on, don't look like that. You're in politics where everyone remains friendly until they have the chance to put in the knife."

Magnolia spoke beautifully.

Only one sticky question came during media question time: "Why is your total staff all women?"

"Our office has a policy of equal employment opportunity Samuel. To get the office off to a good start we decided to attempt to poach known good performers. We approached seven males and seven females. Job offers were presented to the two males and six females and entered the hiring process that comprised a male chairman, my manager and myself and only the six females proceeded, of which five were recruited. We still have one vacancy Samuel is you wish to apply. Next question please."




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 04



Everyone then trooped out to the offices where Magnolia introduced the Prime Minister to open the new facility and she then led in the Pm followed by invited and non-invited guests to drinks and spectacular finger-food.

Towards the close of the function, Kitty saw Lady Marsh bearing down on Magnolia so dashed to be on hand to intervene but needn't had bothered.

"You've pulled a treacherous act on us, attempting to gain the highest bid."

"Oh hello Lady Marsh. Well, it wasn't a problem as you see I am still rather politically inexperienced and the two main parties are rather closely aligned, as I've heard you say. My objective is to become elected so I must employ the best strategy to achieve that. If someone has been talking to you out of school, so be it. There are still five days to go before I need to confirm acceptance. Unless you don't wish to face the possibility of losing two potential seats I would suggest you present me with an offer."

"The cheek of you. Who do you think you are?"

"A candidate for New Age unless you get off you butt Lady Marsh."

"You rude upstart. Well, what is it you want?"

"Oh, not a walk-in seat Lady Marsh as I need to blood myself politically and if you want to see a candidate savage her opponents in the race for election then you just watch me. The seat where I reside would do nicely -- Mayfair Heights."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Good day to you Lady Marsh."

Lady Marsh snapped, "Kitty, don't just stand there. I'm told she's your protégé and ready to have her nomination signed by Lord Humphries of all people."

"Lady Marsh, I would assist if I could and thought it desirable but as you have just experienced, I'm afraid Lady Magnolia has just unleashed herself. I'm not suicidal."

Magnolia was on a high when they left the office and said she'd called Mrs Sharples early in the afternoon to say they wouldn't be home for dinner.

"Where shall we do for a few drinks?" Magnolia asked, almost aggressively. 

Kitty, in the back seat of the dark green SUV glanced over at Skye who was looking at Magnolia a little apprehensively.

"Magnolia, you've already had several drinks. No bars -- just drive to my place. Will you drive Magnolia home afterwards Skye?"

"Yes, I can't allow you to go to a bar, not when you've knocked down a few drinks already."

"I'm running hot and need a hot man."

"Then let's go to my apartment Magnolia and you can look in the cupboards."

They all laughed as if Kitty had just told the joke of the year. 

Kitty's apartment was a conversion of former offices, on top of a warehouse that would close by 6:00. The women sat around with drinks at the small rooftop pool, now blocked from the sun by the adjoining office tower, the mood dipping a bit with Magnolia still very restless.

"I maintain a number of guys on standby -- guys without complications. Want me to call one or perhaps two Magnolia?"

She laughed, excited again. "Just one thank you but try to choose a stayer."

"What about you Skye?"

"Well ah."

Kitty knew what that was about. "Tell her it's okay Magnolia."

"Skye, this is a special day for me. I feel it's all happening at last. Ask Kitty to call a guy for you Skye."

"Only if Kitty calls one for herself."

"Good thinking Skye," Kitty smiled. "Thanks for the push, I had been tempted."

Skye said she wouldn't drink any more alcohol because she would be driving, but Magnolia attempting to fill her glass said it was okay, they'd return home by cab and Kitty could call for them in the morning in the CUV.

Kitty went and made some calls and returned smiling. "Wow, was I so lucky at such short notice. Virtually cream of the crop. "Your guy is big Skye, and not only in stature."

The three of them laughed without restraint, knowing they would soon be partying.

Kitty thought it was turning out a great day for her as well.

Taking a call Kitty shot inside, hearing Magnolia moan, "That will be my guy saying he doesn't think he can get it up tonight."

Kitty returned smiling. "All virtually done Magnolia. Lady Marsh said she phoned around and secured majority agreement of the selection committee and was authorized to approach the incumbent with a deal. Spencer Arnold has agreed to announce his retirement and to accept a post, as our ambassador to Singapore next year should we be the Government, which Spencer says seems highly likely. The only downside is committee members won't agree to the selection committee being 'managed' but she still believes she have influence with would-be contenders without anyone spotting it."

"No, if I can't win a marginal seat without improper assistance then I deserve not to be entering politics," Magnolia enthused.

"Careful, that could be the alcohol speaking."

"Kitty, let the battle commence. I'll take on anyone who wants to compete for selection?"

"Nominations for selection close on Friday."

"Great, Skye we'll buy you a camera and put you on the payroll as official photographer."

Skye looked interested but shook her head.

"We will put you through a crash course."

"That's not necessary, at spy school...er, in my surveillance training I was taught photography and am quite an expert. No the problem is I am forbidden to take a second salary."

Magnolia pulled up her hem and scratched away an insect high on her thigh. "I'll find a way to channel tax-free money to you."

"No, please don't Magnolia," Kitty said. "You are already thinking like a politician. Hire photography gear for Skye as it will provide a good cover for you, allow her to remain close to you at all times and give her something to do that will interest her. When you are elected you can send her off on a holiday somewhere as a gratuity, paying it out of your own pocket."

"Oh God, here am I being taught lessons in honesty from my own campaign people. I need my hand smacked."

"Just ask the guy who's coming to partner you to smack your butt hard. We'll then hear your screams and know you have been punished adequately for your wayward thinking."

Magnolia and Kitty looked at Skye in astonishment and were most impressed. They laughed until Kitty, wiping at her eyes said, "There's the doorbell."

Chapter 12

Murray Locke sent an email to his editor Jim Gee, copied to Kitty: 

Actually have seen the sun. Beer selection is great, have avoided adultery. Targets now live north. Just as Kitty suspected. Been in phone contact with them. Heading for Leicestershire. They have agreed to talk to me.

One of the barmaids in the hotel where Murray was based had persuaded him to allow her to accompany him for two days. On the train she often unzipped him and with reluctance he immediately pulled up the zip. They arrived at their destination so frustrated they were almost depressed. When he booked two adjoining rooms at the inn Fiona cried, "Right, I off back home."

"Sir," said the understanding receptionist, "a gentleman gives a lady what she wants."

"Well," Murray said, right eye twitching, looking at the receptionist's outstanding feature.

Fiona, who'd been fighting back tears of frustration, bounced up to the desk and reading the young woman's name tag, asked, "Leslie, what about the bridal suite?"

"It's available but compared with London you'll not find it all that grand."

"Doesn't matter. Can you do it same price as one superior single room."

"Well I don't really know..."

Fiona diverted. "When do you get off Leslie?"

"My relief has already arrived."

"Same price, you charge two bottles of wine to Murray's account and join us with them in fifteen minutes."

"Right, you're on. Same price, fifteen minutes. I'm ready to rock!"

The two women giggled.

Murray said to Fiona as they climbed three flights of stairs, "I'm not sure what that was all about. Why did you invite her to our room? I was half thinking of giving you what you obviously want."

"Murray, don't be tiresome. I'll have a quick shower and then you follow. But don't dawdle as Leslie may prefer to shower first."

"Before what?"

"Before we have a drink silly."

As they reached the room Fiona was singing brightly, "Three diddly-dee-threesome, three diddly-dee-threesome."

"Unlock the door slowcoach," Fiona said, whacking his ass so hard with the flat of her hand it almost sent him barging through the door he'd just opened.

* * *

Murray groaned in the morning, unclasping the arm of one woman around his waist and stepping over the second, wondering if that was all of them. He shaved and showered slowly and when he stood beside the bed to pick up his underpants he was pulled back into bed and it was all on again.

The next time he carefully placed his clothes away from the bed and showered long until he felt a little refreshed. He went down to breakfast and ate two servings of full English breakfast. He then boarded a taxi, thinking it wasn't safe for him to return to the room. The cab went less than fifty yards and the driver said, "Lacebark Manor sir."

"So soon? It looks like a hotel?"

"It was a derelict hotel sir but is now the renovated seat of our village's very own VIPs sir. The fare plus that valuable information -- two quid should cover it sir. The tip is built in."

"But less than fifty yards?"

"Slow, short travel in these cabs gobbles fuel sir. Is that cash or credit card?"

An elderly although sprightly manservant, presumably a manservant, dressed in black suit, white shirt and tie, white hair parted in the middle and combed at right-angles to the sides, straightened as he released the brass knob he'd pulled the door and open raised rheumy, plate blue eyes to inspect Murray.

"Yes?"

"Murray Locke, to visit Marquess Finch of Quorn."

"Oh yes?"

"I'm from one of the former Colonies, Oceanpacifica."

"Oh yes, do you mean Lord Quorn?"

"I, er, suppose I do."

"You don't know?"

"Titles overwhelm me. Could you help out here?

"Perhaps." 

"It's about his daughter. The lovely Lady Magnolia."

"Ah, perhaps you are at the right place. You are if you mean Lady Magnolia who married a low-ranked Lord called Fitzroy. Fitzroy, for God's sake."

"Yes, yes that's the one. Lady Magnolia"

"It was a tragedy she was exported but it was a matter who wanted her and up popped Fitzroy. I mean Fitzroy, for God's sake. But I suppose they had one redeeming feature with a connection with British India."

"I, um, daresay."

You daresay what?"

"I could agree that connection with British India was one redeeming feature."

"Oh you say, you comprehend. Do you have connections with the Peerage, or better still, Royalty?"

"I understand one of my grandmothers was the 7th child of a baronet."

"A baronet? Bottom of the heap young man, and a 7th child? That's so far down the line in precedents it's out the backdoor for her. If you have come to England expecting conviviality amongst peers, forget it."

"Thank you. Please advise me how to address the Marquess Finch of Quorn."

"What? I understood when Independence was given to Colonies we left the Imperial education system intact."

"More of less. I rather think language and cultural links erode over time."

"All right, you appear to want to conform. For a start the person you wish to address is The Marquess of Quorn. But you never address him as that."

"Oh." 

"You being a commoner have no right to familiarity. You address the marquess the first time in conversation as Lord Quorn and thereafter as my lord."

"Thank you sir."

"I thank you for not calling me sir. Either Mr Mullins or preferably as Mullins."

"Right."

"No Mullins."

"Exactly, now what about the wife?"

"The wife. Good God man, in bygone times you would have been in dire danger of being deported to the Colonies or in this day and age having the marchioness scratch out your eyes.

"Mullins, get on with it."

"Yes sir, on the first time you address the marchioness you refer to her as Lady Quorn and thereafter..."

"As my lady?"

"I say sir, you're getting the hang of things around here. Inside you come, any more delay and you'll have cobwebs attaching you to the stonework."

"I say Mullins, are Lord or Lady Quorn connected higher up the tree?"

"Higher up the tree? Oh spare me. Lord Quorn is the second son of the Duke and the late Duchess of Oxford.

* * *

Jim and Kitty were deliriously happy. That morning they had sat side-by-side reading together the final draft of Murray Locke's sensational double-page feature story for Saturday's edition, with a huge radio and TV promo with 'teasers' spread all through Friday's Guardian as arranged. The promos were designed to draw attention to 'A sensational story of a woman of destiny in our midst and involved in our country's glorious rise from colonial status. This revelation published in the Guardian this Saturday completely wipes out that infamous moment of madness, or does it? You the reader be the judge'.

"Our Magnolia, granddaughter of a Duke who before assuming that title served as our first Governor-General," Kitty sighed. "It is so romantic and to read how her parents, Lord and Lady Quorn, fell upon hard times because of her father's lust for the wives and daughters of other noblemen and the insatiable lust for gambling of her mother."

"Yes Jim sighed. It's the classic tale of excessivenesses, the fall from grace and reasonable return towards their former status. In fact it's stranger than fiction -- near destitute the couple sell the family silver, the one well-proven stud horses they had hidden from the bailiffs which the sell after leaving their huge but very rundown country estate and they use that money to buy an old pub on its own at an ancient crossroads, two miles from the nearest village. There they stay for years, eking out a living, their only child The Lady Magnolia serving as fill-in cook, barmaid, room cleaner and dishwasher until the Lord and Lady Quorn are almost bankrupt. The marchioness has the brilliant idea of writing to widowed knights and unmarried sons with connections to British aristocracy offering their 30-year-old daughter in marriage. They get several replies from Canada and a couple from both New Zealand and Australia. They select our Lord Fitzroy to visit them. Gerry and Magnolia hit it off. Gerry hires a Queen's Counsel to help win greater compensation for Lord and Lady Quorn whose isolated hotel sits smack in the center where the Government plans to link two new super highways. Gerry returns home for the new session of Parliament but hot phone calls and love letters keep the romance going. He returns to the UK, pays for the small wedding and takes his bride home. Two weeks later the Government negotiators raise their offer for the near derelict hotel to secure the site and the offer of 6.3 million pounds is accepted. Lord and Lady Quorn, old before their time, return to Quorn and convert a disused pub into their manor house. End of story. Everyone cries. Accompanying story traces the life and times of the Lady Magnolia, who accepted the lower precedence of title by marrying her love, who is twice her age. She's now standing for Parliament to carve out a new life for herself and perhaps hoping to become pregnant, as her husband's title is hereditary. Sob Sob. Wonderful!"

"This is a really, really fabulous revelation. What now Jim?"

"Come on Saturday."

"What about Magnolia?" Kitty asked.

"Oh no, you want me to show this to Magnolia!"

"It's her private life that's she's kept private being tossed out for public consumption..."

"Stop, I had been thinking about it. Yes, she can read it and make corrections but that's all. If she seeks a Court injunction stopping publication of the articles until her objections are thrashed out in Court then we are sunk unless we can get the injunction lifted."

"She won't stop publication."

"How can you say that?

"Because she'll listen to me."

"Then get her down here fast."

Kitty stuck her jaw forward. "No."

"What!"

"No, not until you say please."

Jim appeared to be counting, probably only to five. 

"I apologize. Could you kindly get Magnolia down here as quickly as possible please Magnolia."

"Certainly."

"Thank you."

Kitty dialed the office and Chase put her through to Magnolia as soon as Kitty said it was urgent. She put the phone on speaker.

"Magnolia, I'm in Jim's office. A story has been written on your background, instigated by me. I want you to sight it to make corrections and to suggest changes but not deletions."

"But how could you get such a story. I've told you nothing, absolutely nothing."

"Magnolia, listen to me. Your voice is rising and you are beginning to panic. It tells everything but a senior and very capable journalist who went to England, funded by the Guardian, authorized by Jim just to sniff out my gut feeling has written it. Great stories are sometimes produced this way and this is a great story. Our reporter spent two hours gathering information from your parents and told them how he would write it, just building fact upon fact and not going out to talk to other people who could have distorted impressions or had axes to grind. I needed to know your background Magnolia before helping to lift you into Parliament, as that door has opened for you Magnolia. Please don't drive -- let Skye drive."

"I'm so upset."

"Of course you are dear simply because it's a shock. But people here have a right to know that your grandfather was our first Governor-General."

"W-w-as he? Our families fell apart."

"We were not told that and there is no need for us to know that. Mullins told our guy about your grandfather."

"Oh God, Mullins. Oh the old darling. He was our cellar man at our hotel and he was a favorite of mine. It was a fall from grace for him too but when I was entering my teens he said, 'Magnolia, one day I see us returning to Quorn'. He must have fed me that line ten thousand times."

"That is so lovely to hear you say that Magnolia. Well, our article carries a photograph of your parents' new home -- it looks very impressive. And we have a photograph of them in the drawing room -- you may find they look rather old. Well they had been through hard times."

"Kitty, did they tell your man about their fortuitous windfall."

"Yes, come and see the story as it's been told Magnolia. Try to enter here relaxed, with an open mind. If you want to know what I think it's I think it's like a fairy tale incorporating very hard times, an ongoing wait and finally redemption and peace. Your parents told Jim's journalist they are very pleased with their life now and feel they are back home."

"We're on our way Kitty. Say hi to Jim for me. "I'll contribute to the costs of this background story because I accept what you stay. If I want people's votes they'll not only want to hear promises, they'll want to know who I am and where have I come from. I believe now I'm going to like what I read as if you can understand what I'm saying, I have a need to know who I am."

"Come to me Magnolia."

Kitty dropped the phone, and shook until Jim held her briefly. He picked up the phone and snapped it shut. "You care for her and that was rather tough going for you. You may even believe you came close to betraying her."

"It's sometimes what we have to do to get the story," Kitty sighed. "But I truly thought I was the better person to decide whether the story should be told, not Magnolia. You've been down that road, probably a hundred times more than I have, as you are an editor. Although we glibly say the story is bigger than the person, in this case the person without the story was a parliamentary hopeful heading for rejection because she would have left voters not knowing who she really was. I acted as a superior judge, deciding she should present her past despite her wanting it to stay concealed. Why did she decide that? We don't know but I suspect she and Gerry decided to play it that way and I certainly knew circumstances had changed for her with her election ambition. All I can say now if her parents had not achieved quite an uplift in life again, I would have been in a real quandary."``




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 04



Jim smiled. "You still think like a top newspaper journalist sweet one. I would really like you back here. I can't fault what you've just said about playing God over Magnolia who is one of your best friends."

"Jim, I was intending to tell you this tonight. Sir Max has been talking to me about standing for Parliament."

Jim's eyelids fluttered momentarily and then he smiled. "You'll terrorize the Opposition."

"Ha-ha."

"You better hurry with your decision. Nominations close, noon Friday. I'll sign your form as nominator."

"Then you don't mind?"

"Of course not. You'll have a holiday during your first term, a junior portfolio or two for your second and then for the third, something to really get your teeth into."

"Like Women's Affairs?"

"Yes."

"You bastard. I'd thought you had a more worldly aspiration for me than that?"

"Sorry, I thought you were expressing a preference. Communications then as that includes the media."

"That's more like my Jim. What about first term, straight in as Minister of Foreign Affairs?"

"Jesus, he's offering you that, isn't he?"

Kitty nodded, watching Jim closely.

"Lots of travel but I guess on longer trip you would be entitled to travel with your spouse? Your masters is in Political Science and internationally you are on the same wavelength as our PM."

Kitty nodded and he asked why wasn't she talking and she said she was waiting for him to express an opinion so get on with it.

"If he does it, the media will savage you two, probably including this newspaper as we report and comment on what we see, hear and sense."

"Granted."

"You would be our youngest Minister of Foreign Affairs ever, by a long shot."

"True."

"I read our file on you a couple of months ago -- two years navy cadet training, top student in strategic defense, among the top in communications, worst in your intake in swimming and managed to make the grade in panic attack."

"That panic attack is bullshit, you made that up."

"Yeah, continued on during summer annual leave and are now a lieutenant in signals/communications in Naval Reserve."

"As private secretary have accompanied the PM to countless regional and international meetings on a wide range of topics from famine aid to world peace sessions at the United Nations."

"Correct -- almost 100 offshore meetings, inspections and familiarization visits."

"Right, I accept Sir Max knows what he's doing and why so who am I to question his superior decision-making. He also could have commenced picking his successor if he lasts through to his mid-seventies but don't even think about it. Step slowly and thoroughly. Oh, what seat?"

Kitty colored and looked down. "Sutherland Downs."

"God, win that and you have it for life. But Trade Minister Patricia Jones has switched to stand for Sutherland Downs."

"This is hush-hush Jim."

"Agreed." 

"The Executive Council is waiting for confirmation from the United States that's she's approved as our new ambassador there."

"You'll fly in Kitty just on your high profile alone. You are in Parliament girl."

"That depends if I can mount a full campaign. My first commitment is to back Magnolia's bid to win selection and then to win her seat so I need to find out if she thinks I can do both."

Magnolia entered the room. "What do you need to know from Magnolia darling?"

"Oh hi Magnolia. It was nothing."

"Hi Magnolia," said Jim. "Someone has asked Kitty to run for election and..."

"Jim!"

"Ignore her Jim."

"...and she won't give a reply until she check it out with you because she also has a commitment to assist you win through."

Magnolia demanded, "Hand me the nomination form and I'll either propose or second your nomination Kitty."

"Magnolia, you don't understand my concern. Contesting a seat if the Opposition is tough is not at all like going shopping, even at sale time."

"You listen to me Kitty. You've read my story. I worked from the age of twelve in my parent's pub and by the time I was nineteen I was often working from 7:00 in the morning until 8:00 and night, sometimes through to 11:00 and I still found time to enjoy a social life and at times I was so tired but I could still keep my wits about me to know who was seducing me and that I approved. Get it girl? I used to be tough and can wind up quickly again no doubt but I'll never be as tough as you. I'll reduce your hours at the office and your salary will drop accordingly and you'll run my campaign at a reduced workload and run your own campaign. Ah, here's Skye with the whisky bottle and four glasses. I thought we should have a couple of shots to stiffen my backbone before reading the article. Jim is it all right for Skye to pour whisky?"

"Be my guest. Listen, on Saturday I'll ask Lady Marsh to appeal to her daughter Belle to manage your election bid Magnolia and that will ease the responsibility on Kitty but still keep her involved with you, especially on publicity and promotion."

"You idiot, Lady Marsh hates my guts -- Kitty would have told you that."

"Oh indeed, and we had a good laugh over that. But wait until she reads Saturday's spread about you Magnolia and finds you are the great-granddaughter of our beloved the Marquess of Lambsdown who later became Lord Oxford on the death of his father. Sylvia Marsh is extremely proud of her title through marriage and when she learns of your parent's place in peerage she will be all over you as she's a born-again Royalist. She has been campaigning, with little success, to get Government funding to pay half the cost of erecting a statue of our first Governor-General in Lambsdown Square. So all you have to do is to offer to assist with the Lambsdown Square project in return for Belle's expertise to aid your campaign and lo, it all happens. Both women understand how politics work -- you know, you grease my palm, I grease yours."

"No I didn't know that Jim, well sort of. This is why I require experienced help. Gerry says there will be outrage if he so much as lifts a finger to help me."

"Yes, and probably with the Guardian leading the pack."

"You are a swine Jim Gee but damn attractive. I can see what Kitty sees in you."

"Okay, you've had two whiskies. Please Lady Fitzroy, read what the people of this country on Saturday will learn about you, warts and all, and particularly the sensational disclosure that you are really one of us through the good office of our first Governor-General. I promise you it makes for compulsive reading."

"Well, I'm ready for the worst and you and Kitty make it sound exceptionally good. Is this a combined effort to seduce me intellectually?"

"Yes, er, intellectually."

"Definitely, exclusively seducing you intellectually Magnolia," agreed Kitty, who thought Jim had been brilliant at putting Magnolia at ease. She must have Magnolia in their wedding party.

To be Continued



The President's Gay Wife Pt. 05



Chapter 13

After suggesting a few minor tweaks and two errors and a place name that had to be corrected, Magnolia wiped her eyes and said they had been tough years and if only members of the extended family had come to the assistance of her parents instead of falling away from them, the outcome may have been very different.

"I think some of my tears resulted from the sheer power of the story telling -- please may I meet Mr Locke?"

"He's commenced a delayed trip to South America but you'll meet him when he returns," Jim said. "Kitty and I are off to have a drink and then on to dinner and we warmly invite you two to join us."

"Please Magnolia."

"We would be delighted, Skye had asked could we go out. Gerry is at some function at the City Club so will booze the night away. Are you sure we are not intruding Jim, Kitty says you two don't get together all that often?"

"That will change and then again perhaps it won't if Kitty gets a real political career going. But tonight perhaps you could allow me to share some of my political experience."

That confession startled Magnolia. "Have you been in politics?"

Kitty laughed and said he was a political bureau chief and had reported on at least five General Elections and numerous by-elections. "He has experience to burn and some of what he tells us will be invaluable. Have you a book to read Skye?"

"No, but I'm interested in politics. I know a lot about how to disrupt meetings, eject protesters without hurting people alongside them, defusing bombs, searching behind stage for booby traps. You know, the usual things."

"I'm not really sure that I do," Magnolia said nervously.

Skye smiled. "Don't worry -- most of that stuff occurs around the party leaders. No one is really interested in you ordinary candidates."

"Oh, I'm relived to hear that," Magnolia said and joined in the laughter but frowning. 

During a break in conversation Magnolia stood up suddenly and said, "This has been a rather draining day for me so come on Skye, you can catch up on drinks when we get home. You are good to me by volunteering to drive. Kitty, I was ready to strangle you five hours ago when you called me but as usual you turned me around and I feel better for it. You are really reshaping me as a better person, also without trying it would seem but I know it is not done without thought. Oh, this is becoming a speech. Sorry. What I want to say is as soon as we are selected as candidates, as I feel we will be, I'm taking you to England to meet my parents. I want to meet them again and this sense of reunification is all because of you. 'Kick ass Kitty' my ass. You are an angel in disguise."

"A week, can we afford a week away?" Kitty laughed.

"You know as well as I do you selected staff for our office as our successors. We being away for a week will be good for them."

"This office, now I want the truth," Jim said playfully. "It's really only a PR showcase for the Prime Minister isn't it?"

"The office already has logged almost 300 phone call, more than 450 items of correspondence of which a little over 100 are complaints regarding perceiving denials of equal opportunity in politics, political service or under political patronage against the writer while we have received seven submissions regarding the need for adjustments to current equal opportunity legislation and about one hundred and fifty suggestion on how equal opportunity in the workplace could be improved."

Jim looked at Kitty in surprise. "How could I have been so wrong?"

"Because you think like a male that people with complaints tend to be wimps."

Jim sighed and said Kitty could be right. "Good work ladies, I'll be putting Shona Ralph, chief of our Better Living team on to you to dig into this thing."

"This thing?"

"Oh come on Kitty, don't snarl at me like that. My heart's in the right place isn't it."

"I suppose so."

Magnolia became the cavalry. "Thank you for taking an interest in our office Jim. Kitty is correct -- an extraordinarily percentage of males seem to have the attitude we are engaged in window dressing. I suggest you have Shona talk to the person being groomed as my replacement as I understand you know her, Chase Menzies."

Magnolia and Kitty laughed at the look on Jim's face.

"Jim I recruited her because I recognize her potential and her experience and success in management speaks for itself. She just took a wrong turn, for her, when she took up with you believing the easy life was for her. Magnolia and I, apart from planning and forming policy, mostly lay about the office scheming. The day-to-day drive is headed by Chase in tandem with another woman we've taken on as my replacement. The vision of the four of us is to grow the broadening work of the office from the PM's department into a functional new wing of the Department of Employment and Industrial relations. All of this is set out in our strategic and marketing plans which have been endorsed by the PM's chief of staff and he has briefed Lord Fitzroy who said, and I quote the chief of staff, 'Sounds progressive and potentially a dynamic initiative. Let them run with it but keep an eye on them because they are only women'. Ends quote. That man of Magnolia's has problems, I'm telling you."

"Calm down dear, Skye and I are off. Kitty is getting these power surges of her more under control Jim since she'd been associated with me."

It was Kitty's turn to display a funny open-mouth look. Magnolia looked at Jim looking at Kitty and she said, "Cute huh? Even she can be surprised. Goodnight darling," she said kissing Jim, you are such a lovely man and this is the first time I've been in your company for a reasonable length of time. I'm already falling for you, passively of course. Kitty you've picked a really nice man."

The two women hugged, bursting into tears.

Jim looked on in dismay, catching Skye's grin. 

Skye told him cheerfully, "Don't worry, they just have this thing some women have. It's not about being gay."

Waving to the departing women, Jim said, "For the life of me I can't see a problem with Magnolia."

Kitty said she appreciated Jim telling her that. I've noticed real change in the last few weeks but in recent days her confidence has taken off. I know people have mood swings and it's difficult to note changes in people you are with all the time but I truly believe today we witnessed a minor miracle. The pressure she came under in being told we had documented her background momentarily plunged her into despair, giving her choices, and her mind took over and set her free. I know this sounds wacky but today we have witnesses the full blossoming of the The Lady Magnolia Fitzroy. I'm not even sure that she knows it yet, but so what? She will and soon."

"I think she knows Kitty. I don't think it was the alcohol talking. A guy knows when he meets a happy woman and she became happy the second we walked away from proofing that two-page feature."

"Oh my good boy."

"You've done wonders with her Kitty. Come on a kiss and off we go."

After Jim picked up the tab on expenses they stayed a while talking to the restaurateur and his maitre d'. Only during that quite brief social encounter did Jim and Kitty realize they were at the threshold of becoming quite regular patrons of that Mediterranean-style restaurant. They were also beginning to click into becoming a couple.

They left the corner restaurant arm-in-arm and potentially proceeded in anyone of four directions and without any discussion crossed and continued in the opposite direction from which they had approached the restaurant. It was unspoken and they had been less romantically engaged that usual because they'd eaten with company. They strolled on, chatting lightly but not about their destination. They just knew the time had arrived.

* * *

In the alley behind King Towers Apartments occupying the site of a long demolished movie theatre they stood in probably not the exact place they were sixteen years ago but they knew it was close enough. They remained oblivious to the trash bins and the probable associated odors.

They came out of a long, very long kiss, their hands still passive. As Kitty was pushed against a wall, probably dank because the sun would reach it only for very short periods and the wall would be territory for creepy-crawly things seeking moss and slime, she didn't really care. What they were about to do was bigger than discomfort and unhygienic conditions and even rats.

She shuddered.

"Are you okay?"

"Um rats?"

"You'll be okay. You're with me."

She smiled, biting back the retort, 'That's bullshit' and waited in mounting excitement for his hand to begin lifting the hem of her dress.

Jim moved from kissing below her ears and around the larynx area to gently kiss over her eyes, making Kitty become a little breathless. She tingled in anticipation of her hem being lifted but instead his hand snaked up under her top and grabbed a handful of breast, causing her to involuntarily thrust against him and breathe a little hoarsely against his mouth as his lips covered her mouth. Her mouth opened its invitation and his tongue slid in against hers and they lightly wrestled and with relief she felt the waves of orgasm sweep through her, earlier than she could remember, and she calmed as they ended but she parted her legs hopefully.

God, she was such a slut, she thought and relished the thought and pulled him closer after digging down to pull the right hand side of her bra up so he was free to really grope her. She thought she could feel him hardening against her thigh but if that was her dreaming she still wouldn't be wrong because for him it would be unavoidable, not with him tonguing her like that and now with her fat nipple between her fingers. The crotch of her pants would be damp by now -- she wanted his fingers there to feel that, to know she was ready.

Oh no, more delay! He'd pulled his head back a little to say to her slowly, "Are you sure? If a police patrol catch us at it we could be done for, appearing in Court in the morning and being lectured for being irresponsible adults and everyone..."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr!" she roared, slamming a hand over his covered penis that was so easy to find. "Get on with it!"

The stupid man pulled back even more and was now shaking -- he was laughing. She groaned. The message she was hot and frustrated finally filtered to his brain, it seemed. Quickly he unzipped, fumbled briefly and then filled her hand with what she wanted.

"Quickly, no more delay," she groaned and was relieved she wasn't told needlessly that all women wanted adequate foreplay. She'd been amid mental foreplay for weeks!

Her dress lifted and he pulled her panties aside.

"No, I want them taken off and placed over the top of your head."

"What?"

"You heard. Sixteen years ago you fooled around like a clown a times. Over the years I pictured you with my panties over your head, grinning like at ape at me but I don't know, this is so stupid, but at the same time looking rather gorgeous as you grinned lustfully at me."

"I don't believe I'm hearing this."

"Jim!"

"All right, all right. Keep your voice down. Take a good grip around my neck while I lift you and get them off you -- if I rip them off they won't stay on my head."

They rocked like a couple of primitive robots to cooperatively complete that task.

"Hell, you're leaking. You don't require foreplay!"

She closed her eyes in despair but the stupid boy became her good boy as he changed his position, probably spreading and bending at the knees, she kept her grip but lowered it to around his shoulders, he bent over her left shoulder banging his head against the wall. Kitty lifted from the waist and they both grunted and he rammed it home and almost instantly she came, in a flood she was quite sure, but he said nothing. She almost lost her grip and heard him says something about 'my fucking head'. She pushed her groin back hard against him and as she pulled back she felt him pull back. They heard a disgusting squelch and they were away, hammering away, hearts pounding, gasping and breaking into a sweat.

Anytime now she knew a patrol car would enter the alley, multi-color lights flashing while overhead a police helicopter would bath them in searing white searchlight.

But they didn't.

Jim came with a roar and huge shuddering that almost took away her remaining breath but even that was an exaggeration because she heard her voice say to him, "Oh, you're such a good boy." She looked at him, with city lights reflecting enough illumination back off overhead clouds, for her to see him, eyes closed and sweaty, looking so ridiculous with her panties over his head.

Kitty knew this was exactly what she'd long to see and remember and promised she'd remember it forever.

"I love you Jim. Please marry me."

Although still panting, he managed, "Okay. I'd like that."

They rested and then walked out of the alley. They'd had their first argument as lovers, albeit a really minor one.

"Leave my panties here."

"No, put them on and be a respectable lady."

"Do what you're told. They are my panties. Leave them here."

"No, when we get back to my apartment to fuck properly I'll take them off you to retain as my trophy."

"You asshole, leave them here."

"Now who's the asshole bully?"

"Jim, please leave them here as a memorial to our visit here to unite in sex for the very first time."

"Oh, of course. Why didn't you say that? I would have given you precedence. Where would you like them placed?"

"Drop them anywhere. This entire alley is our special place. Back to your apartment for proper sex you said?"

"Yeah -- that was great but rather lacking taste darling. Our sex is heading for the up and up."

Jim looked at her face and urged, "No, don't be disgusting. You know what I meant. I'm in love with you Kitty. Please kiss me."

Kitty was only too pleased to close her eyes and bend forward, lips puckered.

Chapter 14

Lady Magnolia and Kitty had their nominations for selection accepted by the National Unity Party (NUP) at 9:30 on Friday morning and when they closed at noon Lady Magnolia was advised there were seven candidates competing for selection to become the NUP candidate to fight the election for the Mayfair Heights seat while Kitty was advised there were only her and the party's sitting member for the Sutherland Downs seat. However, the leading item on TV news that evening reported that Trade Minister Patricia Jones had been appointed Oceanpacifica's Ambassador to the United States and would resign from Parliament in eight week's time, a week before she was due to lave for the US. 

That evening Gerry had a quite conversation with Magnolia.

"Um darling?"

"Yes dear."

"Bad news I'm afraid. A revolt is threatening within the senior ranks of the NUP machine, not within the political party because as you are aware Sir Max controls that. A petition is circulating among party members asking you to withdraw your nomination before the selection meeting is held on Wednesday."

"Well they can go jump in the lake."

"Er, this could become embarrassing for me darling."

Magnolia snorted and said Gerry was capable of putting out fires.

"Very bad darling."

Magnolia stared at him and noted his face looked pinched. She lay back and said, "Come over here darling and treat me as my reward. I will withdraw but only if you find it necessary to ask me. 

Sir Gerald walked to her smiling and dropped to his knees. "Thank you mommy."

The phones in their household ran hot next morning from the time people began reading the Lady Magnolia story in the Guardian. Almost every said it was a heart-warming story but most of the comments from conservative members of the NUP were unanimous: no way should Lady Fitzroy stand for election.

Kitty arrived at 7:30, observed what was happening, so bundled Magnolia and Skye into Kitty's car and drove off after advising Gerry and Sir Max their phones would be switched off.

Magnolia whined, "People hate me."

Skye snarled, "Don't be a wimp Magnolia. Kick ass like Kitty does.

Kitty said nothing until Magnolia asked where were they going and brightened when Kitty said they were going on a familiarization tour around Sutherland Downs and would attend a barbeque luncheon at the ranch of the international opera singer Dame Muriel Smithfield who was chairman of the electorate committee. 

To Magnolia and Skye's astonishment they were hosted like long-lost friends and recognized Magnolia as the country's 'instant celebrity'. They all crowded Kitty of course and appeared still shell-shocked Dame Muriel had described Kitty as 'such an outstanding lady with such immense political standing and clout' who in her wisdom had chosen to represent Sutherland Downs in Parliament. 

"I can't believe we are being feted like this," Magnolia whispered to Kitty who answered that it was nothing out of the ordinary. "These are simply country people being themselves. I kept my late parents' home out here on the coast and will have it upgraded with the study extended to become a proper electorate office. I'll take you guys out there within a week or two. Before Gerry met you he used to take the occasional person out there for a quiet weekend Magnolia. That's why he's pushed Max to give me the Sutherland Downs Electorate -- it's my reward."

"You mean he took women there, probably some married women?"

"Of course Magnolia," Skye whispered. "He wouldn't take guys -- Gerry's not gay."

Magnolia knew her political aspirations were doomed when Lady Marsh called her that evening to ask her to withdraw her nomination.

"No. But you can tell your daughter I don't mind if she withdraws from my election team."

"That ungrateful elder daughter of mine laughed in my face when I urged her to drop you. After all I've done for her."

"She probably believes in integrity and fair play Lady Marsh."

"You rude bitch."

"That's uncalled for Lady Marsh. You are deservedly down in title precedence on me. Good evening Lady Marsh."

On Tuesday afternoon Magnolia was called to the Prime Minister's office and returned looking rather down.

Kitty noticed the slumped shoulders just as Skye put her arm around Magnolia. "He asked you to withdraw and you agreed?"

Magnolia's body bent and she told Skye yes.

"Wise move," Kitty said. "Even without this groundswell against you within party hierarchy it would have been uncomfortable for the PM having you in his team, especially when you disagreed with him as you do rather often and sometimes quite heatedly these days."

"Okay, I admit I should have gone with the New Age Party but too late now, their nominations closed two days ago. I'll put my effort into your campaign."

"No, I don't need you. I'm only having two meetings, one on the night the four-week election campaign starts, and one on the night it ends, plus having three election billboards erected. I want you to concentrate winning your own seat."

"What?"

Skye asked, "Have you approached the Agency to rig Magnolia's election?"

"No, of course not. Here's how it will work..."

Nominations for candidates to contest the sixty-nine seats in the one chamber Parliament closed the next Friday and the Page 1 story in the Echo that afternoon screamed:

ELECTION BID SENSATION

President's Wife Lady Magnolia Stands as Leader of 8-candidate Liberal Party

The newspaper revealed the Liberal Right Party was formed prior to the last election to represent disgruntled members of other parties and activists of assorted pressure groups including Gay Rights, Save the Wales, Legalize Pot, Ban Nukes, Build Up the Navy and Ban Foreign Fishing Boats. It had failed at the ballot box last time because, it was claimed, the party had been under-funded and disorganized due to weak leadership. Both those deficiencies had been resolved.




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 05



At 12.03 on the Friday Gerry rushed into Magnolia's office and thundered, "How could you do this without telling me!"

Combing her hair Magnolia said because as soon as he'd pushed her to withdraw her nomination for NUP endorsement he'd not spoken one word of politics to her, or asked how she felt about withdrawing. 

"I've been busy."

"I've felt neglected."

Kitty entered with two glasses of wine, giving one to Magnolia and the other to Gerry.

"Stop shouting you two. Come in Gerry, we're having an in-office farewell party as Magnolia and my resignations were handed in just before noon and the chief of staff has signed on under-study Chase McKenzie as Magnolia's replacement, accepting our recommendation."

"What, you both are leaving?"

"It was either resigning or taking leave of absence without pay," Kitty said. "We are both so confident about winning a seat we chose the former."

"You yes, but not Magnolia. She will be blown away in National Unity's campaign to secure Mayfair Heights. They'll roll in the heavyweights to make sure we win it, make no mistake about that. Sorry darling, please don't take this personally."

"All fair's in love and war darling," Magnolia smiled sweetly. "I hope Sir Max opens his campaign in Mayfair Heights instead of City Central. It would push me into election mode from the outset."

Laughing, Sir Gerald took his wife's arm and they followed Kitty into the rear office where drinks and a buffet lunch were being held. As he entered Gerry recognized a face as said, "Hello Belle, fancy seeing you here."

"Oh hi Lord Fitzroy. Kitty invited me as a guest to introduce me to your lovely wife. I've been talked into coming out of political activity retirement to run Lady Magnolia's election campaign for her."

Gerry said. "My goodness, what will your mother say? Until now you have been National Unity through and through and one of the best electorate campaign manager's we've ever had. Lady Marsh will be devastated."

"Well mommy shouldn't have bowed to the whining pressure of the conservatives in the party so quickly. She had already asked me to join Lady Fitzroy's team under the National Unity banner so it's really only a tiny change to do it under the Liberal right banner. I thought Lady Fitzroy had been hard done by and was gracious in withdrawing so here I am. National Unity hasn't a dog's show of retaining Mayfair Heights Sir Gerald -- we'll win it through the caliber of candidate, not what party brass says in apple box oratory to Mayfair Heights voters. I think your party has overlooked the fact that in independent surveys, Mayfair Heights comes near the bottom in all electorates in attitude towards party loyalty and tops surveys in the percentage of residents in electorates with university degrees and lower tertiary qualifications. What do those two particular survey findings say to you Mr President?"

Gerry smirked, saying he wouldn't be surprised if the issues debated in the Mayfair Heights electorate focused on morality.

Belle Rider said calmly, "Here are two other survey findings of possible interest to you Lord Fitzroy. In attitudes towards permissiveness within society today Mayfair Heights comes in as the 10th most relaxed electorate towards permissive attitudes in society and of course it has for years topped all electorates in the country for having the highest divorce rate. Kitty knew all this and that is why she pushed Lady Fitzroy to offer to stand for Mayfair Heights for NUP. It would appear foolishness within the hierarchy predominated over smart political tactical thinking. Oh dear."

"Oh dear?" Sir Gerald echoed. 

"Come on dear, it's only politics," Magnolia said. "We figure National Unity will be returned but with a very reduced majority and it will have to accept a coalition arrangement with another party to hold the Treasury benches securely. Wouldn't it be funny if the PM selected my team and had the issue of legalizing pot to debate?"

"Funny?" Gerry groaned. "Don't forget to mention the liberation of gay rights."

"Darling, please turn to your right and meet my replacement Chase McKenzie. Isn't she pretty?"

Looking anything but delighted, the President said, "Oh, hi Chase," and offered her a sweaty hand.

Minutes later on his way out the President said to Kitty, "I was confident you could do something with Magnolia but what you have done is amazing. I expected you to model her recalibration on yourself, but no: she remains very much Magnolia with refined steering, a boost in power and a sophistication in femininity she did not have before but beneath that remains her raw sexuality. Those improvements all relate to confidence. At the same time there is one completely new add-on that has taken me be surprise -- her new political dimension. Previously she was political barren...and now...ohmigod, and achieved in such short time."

"Well Gerry, it seemed appropriate she ought to have political dimension, being married to the country's most influential man," Kitty said. "Observing her just now dealing with you left me with the thought, have I taken her too far?"

"And?"

"Oh Gerry, don't fret. Magnolia is in charge of herself now."

Sir Gerald looked confused and continuing on his way and almost walked into the closed door.

That evening when Skye and Freddie were sitting in the garden holding hands and watching the moon rise, Magnolia rolled off Gerry rather breathlessly and asked the question, knowing that her husband was under real sexual pressure at that moment, probably feeling his testicles were temporarily repositioned, like next to his eyeballs.

"Gerry, I'm beginning to worry that you are now longer justified having the State pay for a minder for me."

Wiping the sweat off his face with the top sheet Gerry tried to get his mind around the enormity of the poser Magnolia had just delivered. "What's a minder?"

"You fool," she chuckled. "Focus or I warn you I'll jump on you again."

Gerry rapidly blinked his way to a clear mind. "Safety of the President's wife is of paramount importance to the nation. You have been in potential danger as a result of your afternoon of madness and now you are in danger of extremists within the NUP administration, who include its chairman Lady Marsh. Also out there will be hotheads who resent you leading a party representing gays to hog into the cash trough in Parliament. Skye stays. Now please go to sleep and leave me alone: I feel sexually abused."

Magnolia smiled and fell asleep, leaving Gerry wide-awake and fretting.

At that moment in Kitty's downtown apartment, nude Jim was running a series of tiny kisses between Kitty's thighs and working the ecstasy toward one of her most sensitive spots -- the inside edge of her kneecaps.

"Hmmmm. Ohmigod," cried Kitty, as a seismic effect of some magnitude shook her body, making her head roll from side to side.

"Oh, do you like that?" asked wily Jim.

They'd had a lovely night as he'd stopped work for the day at 6:00 and arrived an hour later at the apartment, bathed, perfumed and carrying a big bouquet with the intent of making a proposal. After they finished a bottle of French champagne that Kitty had found in the middle of the floral arrangement, which had explained its heaviness when she'd come within an ace of dropping the bouquet, Jim made the proposal and Kitty accepted -- yes she would move in with him at the weekend and lease her apartment.

After dinner with everything tidied away they decided they didn't want to watch TV, listen to dreamy music, talk or go out and watch the moon. So they took the only other option so eminently suitable for lovers.

"Long, slow and often," Jim had whispered into the ear of Kitty, giving the highly pent-up woman her first orgasm, admittedly a small one because he only had his hand on her shoulders prior to the sexy whispering. 

Chapter 15

The Prime Minister bowed under immense NUP executive pressure and delivered his televised address to open the election campaign at the cultural dome located just within the Mayfield Heights Electorate boundary with the Central City Electorate. The turnout of 5380 people was the largest crowd at an election meeting in the country in thirty years. Sir Max Wallace, speaking in fine form, had some newspapers next day predicting a landslide election victory for his party. However, throughout the day and into that evening political commentators on radio and TV said Sir Max's speech was good but not that good so the consensus seemed to indicate the prediction of a landslide seemed premature.

Two nights later Alf Struthers, leader of the New Age Party, opened his party's campaign from a TV studio and published reports were cautiously favorable.

Two other parties launched their campaigns but the Liberal Party cancelled its opening after the country's Electoral Returning Office received a complaint from Lady Marsh on behalf of 'disgusted citizens' that the Liberal's Party promotion for its party 'disgracefully contains an obscene word'.

The president of the Supreme Court decided to personally hear submissions from attorneys representing the complainant and the Liberal Party. Comments in weekend newspapers and a highly publicized TV debate on Sunday night discussed whether the Gay Rights' appeal 'to all *unt-lickers' to attend the opening address by Lady Fitzroy on behalf of the Liberal Party. None of the urging in Liberal Party promotions to specific groups to attend its campaign opening attracted complaints. Lady Marsh and the two other NUP complainants declined to make any statement and declined invitation to debate the issue on TV.

At 2:15 on Monday. Lord Moss, the president of the Supreme Court, delivered his brief decision:

Since neither '*unt' nor 'unt' can be construed as being proper words I determine no offensive word has been used in the advertising at the center of this complaint. The complaint lodged under section 14(c) ii of the Electoral Act is accordingly dismissed.

Next day the Liberal Party promotions reappeared, the only change being the opening address would be held on Thursday evening at the Mayfield Heights Gary Field Football Stadium. The media sensed the venue had been deliberately chosen because the Liberal Party believed electors would want to view and hear its controversial leader speak.

On Thursday radio stations reported by noon the city center was slowly being choked by an influx of vehicles heading for the stadium. By 5:00 fear swept seized the NUP hierarchy when the City Police Chief went on radio and TV to warn latecomers to stay away because the 15,000-seat stadium was almost full although the address was not due to start till 6:30.

At 6:30 sharp a tremendous roar erupted from the stadium as without any fanfare or introduction the lone figure a woman wearing a cap, pink top, white cut-offs to reveal incredibly long and shapely legs that ended way down in pink and white ankles boots walked on to the field and up on to the small slowing revolving stage in centerfield and picking up the microphone and said, "Hi -- I'm Magnolia."

The crowd went wild.

Once the noise died she called, "Are there any Save the Wales people here?" and she worked through the list of groups officially affiliated with the party and received shouts appropriate to representations, although one notable exception had been excluded. Then a woman darted up on stage and shouted into her bullhorn, "You forgot the gays."

Magnolia laughed and said into her microphone, "No I didn't Belle. I believed the bigots who would think the gays would be home doing the only thing they seem capable of doing."

"Why don't you ask and check it out?"

"Okay Belle -- Belle's my campaign manager."

The TV cameras including those broadcasting the opening address focused as briefed on the Western Stand.

"Are there any gays here?"

Everyone in that stand stood and shouted, "Here we are Lady Fitzroy!"

"Brilliant guys. Sorry I've left your ranks. I tried but it's not for me."

The Western Stand people cheered her as did other gays or sympathizers spread around the arena.

"Okay, that's good. But we don't want others feel left out. Are there any straight people here?"

Almost three-quarters of the stadium stood and cheered.

When they hushed Magnolia said: "Listen up folk, our Liberal Party is by nature a mixed bag. What our party is about is this. We want to focus Parliament on some of the issues of the day of concern to groups aligned with our party. We seek open debate within Parliament to lead to greater understanding about what worries and frustrates minority groups and to search for possible political solutions. If all that we meet is bigotry within the governing house of our nation, then so be it but don't expect us to give up. The Liberal Party will soldier on until we replace sufficient bigots at the election box to allow us to make significant progress. In some instances just greater awareness will lead to greater tolerance and satisfy what our members seek through minor adjustments in attitudes and education and political support. In more universal matters like global warming and global resources sustainability we seek a complete political rethink leading to inspirational political action."

Magnolia finished her forty-five minute speech by building up to a finale declaration: "I personally stand for developing a greater sense of national unity within this country. Historically we are a nation of immigrants, people of different cultures. I believe their descendants and our newer immigrants desire to think and feel Oceanpacifica is their home. I urge you all, let our motto be 'Our Homeland is Oceanpacifica' and live by it. Thank you for coming here to night and remember to vote Liberal for liberalism and those in Mayfield Heights Electorate who decide to vote for me that you will be voting Liberal for greater nationalism. I knew you some of your would have turned up to see a depraved woman. Sorry to have disappointed." 

"Good night."

The crowd cheered and as a vehicle came out and drove off with Magnolia and Belle, Belle's voice boomed through the stadium speakers -- "Just a moment folk, we have a treat for you. The center stage burst into flames and a ring of surrounding fireworks was remotely set off for a brief but spectacular display. 

"That's all folk," came the cheery voice of Belle through the speakers. "Go home safely and think Liberal."

* * *

Lady Marsh and the PM both suffered acidic reflux next morning at opening their copies of the Guardian. The headline (editor Jim Gee had dissociated himself from any political coverage) screamed, 

Stroppy Liberal Party Promises Fireworks 25,000 Turnout Sets New Record

By MURRAY LOCKE, our political bureau chief

An unbelievably astute political newcomer Lady Magnolia (not even she uses her correct title of Lady Fitzroy) gave our nation's politicians a near flawless exhibition of how to run an election campaign meeting last night. 

She drew a record crowd of 25,000 for a campaign opener -- almost three times larger than the recently reset record -- to the Mayfield Heights Gary Field Football Stadium and didn't once use the 'unt' non-existent word or any other rude word for that matter, looked adorable, moved sexily, spoke with charm and had her audience mostly captivated or at the very least tolerant. 

The over-riding belief she must have left with those 25,000 who watched her live and tens of thousands who watched the live TV broadcast must be 'Watch out bigots and here comes a real bid to bestow greater nationalism with this country'.

I have met Lady Fitzroy twice and was impressed. But last night Magnolia's powerful address blew the socks off me. She...

Lady Marsh called Sir Max. "I won't say good morning as I feel sick and guess you do. I'm resigning forthwith."

"Good move. Yours had to be the head to roll so why wait around?"

"Quite. I suggest we cancel all extra spending on Mayfair and not bother sending in the brass. Mayfair is gone."

"Agreed."

"Haven't you a kind word to say?"

"Oh yes, until this goof you performed adequately. I'll contact the party electoral committee members personally with the news as soon as you make one call and get back to me."

"One call to who or is it whom?"

"I want your daughter Belle as your replacement."

"Oh God, yes! I'll call her now. That's brilliant Max."

Sir Max called Magnolia. "Mayfair Heights is yours," he said curtly, forgetting the way he was supposed to speak to the President's wife."

"Oh Max, don't be so absurd. I'm only one day into my campaign and my head is killing me. Kitty, Belle and I rather cut loose last night at our party headquarters."

"Party headquarters? To my knowledge which comes from an extremely reliable source your fleapit outfit doesn't have a headquarters."

"Well darling, it's too posh a name for it. We have been given use of the old tractor shed on Bayfield Park but if you mean by an extremely reliable source as the Bureau, please don't have it blown up as the derelict shed doesn't belong to us."

Sir Max turned pale when the political upstart used the name Bureau but thought it best to ignore her insane slip of tongue.

"Read the Guardian."

Magnolia raced out to the family room and turned to Page 7 where the report of Sir Max's campaign opening had appeared complained to Max she'd found only letters about the party opening addresses on page 7.

"No you fool. The front page."

Magnolia looked at the front page briefly and said calmly, "That appears to be an accurate report. Sweetie, are you free tomorrow at midday? I'd like you to lead some party brass to market day at Southampton Village in the Sutherland Downs Electorate in support of Kitty. It's just a token gesture but Kitty deserves it as she has performed wonderful service to us both."

"Okay, I'll adjourn the Executive Council meeting and take them all except Alf. His party would throw him out if they found out we were over there publicly endorsing our candidate."

"Than you Max, you may go now. Here comes Jane with my breakfast and my splitting headache needs to go before I can converse more rationally."

Magnolia called Murray Locke, who was home doing the laundry for his wife, and thanked him for his endorsement of her in his report of her stadium meeting.

Murray protested: "I didn't endorse you. I just told it how it was and that you were inspirational."

"I'm speaking about your comment about your socks Murray. People reading that will interpret that as a sly endorsement. I can't have sex with you..."

"Magnolia, please don't use that word around me. I'm on laundry duty and cooking all meals whenever I'm home for the next two months for letting slip to my wife I enjoyed a really hot night when in England and by hot I don't mean the weather."

"Well if you stupidly admit a transgression like that Murray you deserve your punishment. I'd say your wife went rather easy on you. By the way, when are you inviting Gerry and me over for a drink so I can meet your wife?"

"A-after the election. But we only l-live in a ordinary h-house."

"Join the club Murray because so do most people."

"M-Marion is shy. She'd by blown away by the though of having you two in her h-house."

"Rubbish Murray. She'll want to bail me up and asked what did I actually do in my afternoon of madness. All women feel compelled to ask me. By the way, I wasn't aware you stuttered? Now, what was I calling about? Oh yes, to give you wink-wink an anonymous tip. Tomorrow at noon political aspirant Kitty Loveridge will be touring the pig pens and whatever at Market Day in Southampton Village over in Sutherland Downs as part of her low-key election campaign."

"Thanks Magnolia, I'll check it out and file a couple of pars."




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 05



"A couple of paragraphs -- are you mad? Gerry and his Council with the exception of Alf will be there in support of the candidate?"

"Jesus, she's heading straight into Cabinet isn't she?"

"Darling, you know Kitty is my best friend. You'll just have to make up crazy ideas like that all by yourself. You could of course get the wink-wink break you need by chatting to the Prime Minister as soon as Kitty's win is announced. Meantime you may decide to observe how well the Council -- all Ministers in the recently dissolved Parliament -- relates to Kitty as if they know something. Wink wink."

"Magnolia I appreciate..." Murray, eyeing a pile of towels and wearing an apron, put down the phone because Magnolia had cut the connection.

The next day Murray and photographer secured their 'exclusive'. Not even the local press had been advised and the busload of Executive Council members that arrived in the village square just as the auction of pullets was about to end. The photograph of country people mainly dressed in farm clothes with suited politicians mixing with them, while in the foreground Kitty and her electorate party chairman were in a huddle with an almost toothless 85-year-old poultry breeder dressed in a cloth hat and red and blue shirt hanging over jeans halfway down to her gumboots. Kitty was caught on film dodging the beak of an aggressive rooster held by the woman with both women obviously enjoying the moment. 

The President awoke slumbering Magnolia with a lick across the nose next morning to show her the photograph spread over five columns of Page 3 in the Guardian. "Look at our Kitty," he crowed.

"Wow, what a photograph."

"Yes, " he said proudly.

Magnolia shrieked, "The story beneath says 'PM refuses to comment on slip that Candidate Kitty will be next Foreign Minister'!"

"Yes," beamed her husband.

"It says here:

Minister of Housing Catherine Beauchamp made the colossal slip when replying to the Southampton Village community board chairman welcome at a hastily convened luncheon for Parliamentary big-wigs of the National Unity Party. The visiting delegation arrived unexpectedly in support of its candidate for the Sutherland Downs seat, Kitty Loveridge. 

Delegation leader Prime Minister Sir Max Wallace invited Mrs Beauchamp to reply on behalf of the delegation. The gushy Mrs Beauchamp jumped to her feet and immediately made the faux pas: "This is an exciting time for Kitty Loveridge, this country's next Foreign Minister..."

Poor tell-all Beauchamp. She appeared to turn green and looked stricken as she turned to eye the Prime Minister but he simply grinned and called for her to continue.

"... if National Unity is swept back into power. Kitty is...The Minister then burst into tears and was led away by several women to the pub across the street."

"Ohmigod!" yelled Magnolia. That brought Skye running in closely followed Jane brandishing a meat cleaver. Magnolia continued reading.

The demonstrably calm Prime Minister continued the response. He said it would be presumptuous to either confirm or deny any talk about Kitty's political future until she was elected. "But I can tell you this, with Kitty Loveridge we have a lovely person who was born with a political spoon in her mouth -- both her mother and paternal grandfather having been long-serving Ministers in our Parliament. In my opinion she is the best private secretary our two Presidents have had. Now if that isn't an immaculate political pedigree I honestly don't know what is. We thank you for your hospitality in this charming village of yours and those of us who will be re-elected look forward to you good people voting in Kitty to join us. All of you people will be aware of course that Skyline Ranch in this electorate was given to the nation by Kitty's maternal grandfather, Admiral Sir Clive Bellamy and the site at Fitzroy Point of our nation's world-renowned agricultural research center remains a working cattle and sheep farm and teaching facility for two agricultural colleges. I thank you again for our welcome and assure you that if re-elected Mrs Beauchamp will retain her post as possibly the most effective and productive Minister of Housing this country has had in at least twenty years."

Magnolia said through misting eyes, "What a wonderful speech and huge support for Kitty who must be so grateful for Max extolling her like that."

"Grateful?" Gerry frowned. "Max told me the stupid cow Kitty attempted to kick him afterwards and yelled at him not to butt into her election campaign. They were all in the pub and everyone fell about laughing. I was told Max looked shattered, wearing a look similar to Mrs Beauchamp."

Magnolia almost knocked her teapot over rolling about laughing.

"Am I missing something here?" Skye asked. "Want me to go out and discipline that loud mouth Beauchamp woman Gerry?"

* * *

Election night was a busy time for the Prime Minister. Sir Max went to his own electorate headquarters first and his re-election result was one of the first confirmed. He then raced around the country by Air Force helicopter to visit marginal seats.

The President went to his wife's election headquarters -- a bar -- where everyone appeared rather low. Gerry saw Belle, the NUP's incoming chairman arrive and kissed her, being permissively allowed to fondle her breasts as he helped her remove her coat. He then went to the crowd gathered around TV sets. Skye saw him coming and announced, "Please welcome the President."

"Oh darling welcome," his wife said kissing and telling his two bodyguards to sit in a corner.

"How's it going here?" Gerry said brightly, and the looks he received including from Magnolia said it all.

"Hand me a computer print-out of progress results," he demanded.

"Here Mr President," said a party official. Only the results of three counting booths in so far but it's not good for us."

Lord Fitzroy looked at the results and smiled, "This is fabulous Magnolia."

"What!" cried the people crowded around him.

"You guys are looking at trends instead of analyzing to find reality. Look, New Age is 3% ahead in Albany and Sussex booths and 4% ahead in Meadowlea. Those are low-cost housing areas, strongholds of New Age who must be crapping and ready to capitulate to have scored such low margins. Just be patient and wait for the booths of the affluent hilltops come in. You'll cream in Magnolia, just as newspaper pre-election polling consistently predicted. Do you believe me?"

"Yes Mr President,"was the half-heartedly frp, everyone around him including his wife.

The nervous candidate for Mayfair Heights introduced her husband to party officials and then he kissed her. "Well done Lady Magnolia, MP for Mayfair Heights."

"My brain demands I contest that but my heart tells me to believe in my heart. I believe you darling. Thank you."

Openly tracing the outline of Magnolia's breast with both hands, Lord Fitzroy said, "Ask Belle for confirmation. She's the real expert on this sort of thing. I have a chopper on standby and am heading out to Sutherland Downs as I want to be there when Kitty's final result comes through, although we know from our closing polling what it will be."

"Yes, yes. I want you to be there darling."

"Thank you. I handed Skye tickets a few minutes ago for you Kitty and her to fly to England on Wednesday for only a week I'm afraid because our existing polling shows National Unity will need to enter coalition talks after final results are declared in eight to ten days' time."

"W-what. I can't believe w-what I'm hearing?"

"I've never heard you stutter before darling. Ask me later."

Lord Fitzroy was almost to the doorway when Belle wearing a telephone headset and waving a piece of paper yelled, "We're in Magnolia and team. It's a progress from the key booth of Rushmere. Listen. New Age 13, National Unity 127, all of the others are 12 votes or fewer but listen: Liberals 1327."

"But it only a progress."

"It's only one booth from the heights."

Magnolia asked calmly, "Tell us what you know Belle"

"We couldn't afford exit polling so I used the old method of vote differential taken from a traditionally stable polling both and using an extrapolation formula. Liberals will take Mayfair Heights."

"By a country mile," yelled the departing President.

"Lord Fitzroy is probably right," Belle conceded. "He works by instinct and having one ear on the ground while I work on data."

Lord and Lady Fitzroy were hailed as they entered the decorated Town Hall in the stone dominant city of Rockhampton, a few miles south of the massive stone quarries, largest in the country, the crowd parting, celebrating already although the final result had not been posted. At the far end of the gap was Kitty sitting with her campaign executive. She wore a pretty blue dress, no jewelry and sensible shoes. Gerry, having been home to change into a cream suit, black shirt and plain crimson tie, looked like a man who ran a country. Kitty ran forward to greet him, stopping two feet away to begin her welcoming words.

"Kiss, kiss, began the crowd and Kitty walked up to Lord Fitzroy, kissed him on both cheeks and then lay her head on his chest momentarily as would every daughter proud of her surrogate father would do. They then walked hand in hand towards the executive, now standing, to the warm handclapping of the crowd.

"Kitty, I'm son proud of you. Your result will be through in a few minutes but it is timely to confirm something before your keen supporters of your electorate. The Prime Minister of course is not in a position yet to announce his ministerial lineup. However, he had authorized me to tell you folk here tonight Kitty that you will be named this country's next Foreign Minister."

The crowd went wild, well, with some restraint because basically the majority were rural or country town and village people of conservative values.

Provincial final results were completed at 10:30 with final results to be posted before noon within ten days. Kitty took her seat with a preliminary majority of 27,301, an amazing result for an electorate with only 35,442 registered voters, not all voters choosing to vote of course with voting not being compulsory. The Prime Minister had his majority of 10,007 slashed to 6448 in preliminary country and his party appeared set to lose three seats including that held by his Minister of Housing. The Green Party increased its number of seat from four to five, the new Liberal party won four seats and the New Age party lost three seats with it's Leader's seat held on provisional count by twenty-one votes. The Law Reform Party, after eleven attempts, was set to enter Parliament with one seat.

Members of Parliament representing the badly mauled National Unity Party, with all but two with reduced majorities, many severely reduced, and three losing their seats, began arriving at party headquarters for the subdued celebrations. The defeated Mrs Beauchamp cheered when the Prime Minister had a quiet word with her and she was told she would be appointed chairman of the Housing Commission within six months and that the post carried a salary three times of what she received as a Minister. She soon became the life of the party although that rather puzzled her former colleagues who believed one should accept defeat with dignity. Somehow Mrs Beauchamp managed to keep her mouth shut about what was making her so happy.

The general gloom continued until at 12.20 when successful new candidate Kitty Loveridge arrived with her guest new Liberal member of Parliament, Lady Fitzroy.

They walked in, hand-in-hand happily waving.

The drunken Lady Marsh, attending as of right because her resignation could not be accepted until the next meeting of the party's executive, whispered to her husband Sir Richard drunkenly yelled, "Ah here come our two illustrious gays."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr," yelled a charging woman in a blue and gold tracksuit, both hands held about her head like an executioner.

Lady Magnolia waited until Skye was barely two yards from the couple, now on their own as people around them scattered, "Skye heel!"

"On your knees you two and apologize."

Sir Richard and Lady Marsh dropped clumsily to their knees and said, almost together, I apologize Lady Fitzroy and Kitty." 

"Thank you, those apologies accepted by me," Magnolia said. "What about you Kitty, being wrongfully maligned like that?"

"Oh, it's okay. I don't want Skye to kill them and they should be allowed to remain in the party and rewarded for past services and patronage with honorary membership. Pick them up Skye and ask them kindly to bring drinks to two very feminine ladies."

People clapped, agreeing it was a satisfactory outcome and Magnolia shouted, "Iona, please have the champagne broken out for everyone and charged to me. Many of you have wounds to lick so let's party!"

Chapter 16

The three travelers took it easy on the first two days in London, recovering from their long flight although they'd traveled business class. When pressed who was paying for their very expensive visit -- the hotel was very up-market -- Kitty finally wore down Magnolia who admitted, "Gerry is meeting half the cost but it's not all his money."

"That's very generous of him. I tackled him and all he'd say was, 'There was a whip around. I cannot say anymore'. So I pressed him and he assured me the funding was legal and no, the Prime Minister's slush fund had not contributed."

"Darling, I don't think you understand just how grateful Gerry is for what you have managed to have done with me. I'm ever so grateful."

"Poof, anyone could have done what I..."

"Cut the crap Kitty. Go to the toilet Skye."

"I don't need to go Magnolia. I don't have excessive sex as you do so I have great bladder control."

They laughed and Skye grinning said she'd walk the length of the aircraft hassling guys to allow Magnolia and Kitty to talk in secret.

Magnolia said, "The Bureau is contributing under pressure from the Prime Minister who argued that Skye needs international experience including long-haul travel. She has to undergo two days of study but is excited about that. Max's chief of staff has wangled a grant from the British fund available for displaced persons with direct links to peerage to reunite with direct family through a visit to Britain and I hit on Jim to contribute and..."

"Oh no Magnolia, how could you!"

"...and he organized three gambling nights at the press club for a $500 prize with any profits from 'the house' going to you for an overseas holiday in recognition of your service to journalism and fairness in dealing with parliamentary news teams during your service as private secretary to the President."

"But that's a disgusting con and the journalist would know that."

"Of course they would do, but you know media journalists and their addictions to booze and gambling. Jim was handed just over $7500 by the club president and was told it was in recognition of a worthy cause and that as an MP you would be invited to become club patron so over the years members would benefit through the financial support of their patron with her sponsorship of the pre-Christmas Party."

"My God, what a roundabout way of handing across $7500. Silly Jim would have been much better off just giving you the money from his own pocket."

"We did discuss that darling but agreed that would cause you to hit the roof. So we hatched out the plan for the gambling night but unfortunately you will be clobbered by being invited to become patron."

"Well, that's fine. Presumably being patron will encourage the media to hold back just a tad when I make cock-ups with our country's foreign policy."

"Yes darling. I would agree with that. Gerry thinks like that all the time. I'm surprised you are reaching such political maturity so early in your career."

Kitty's face flamed.

They caught a fast train from St Pancreas Station to Loughborough, north of London in the Midlands after leaving Skye with her Scotland Yard liaison officer with whom she would be briefed over two days about security measures given to various levels of VIPs and talk to some of the unit commanders and inspect crime labs and learn about surveillance methods, before being delivered back to the hotel each day. Skye official study visit had been arranged under London's police and security interface and exchange agreement with Commonwealth member countries.

At the end of their one hour and forty minute train ride, the elderly Mullins met Magnolia and Kitty at Loughborough Station. Magnolia rushed the manservant who stood rigid, greatly embarrassed as she hugged and kissed him (good God on a busy railway platform in full view of the public of all places)!

Kitty remained back a little but heard Mullins say, in a highly emotional voice, "Lady Fitzroy, this simply will not do."

"Kitty, over here," Magnolia said wiping away tears. "Kitty, may I present you to my parent's lifetime manservant Mullins, who stood by my parents and me throughout our darkest years. Mullins, please say hello Kitty."

"My ladyship. That I cannot do until I have been given your guest's full name including title, if any, to allow me to greet your guest properly."

"Sorry Mullins, Kitty is fine with me and here's a wee kiss. We are from the former Colonies so anyone knowing you and witnessing this will simply report this shocking breach of protocol to their friends as involving unwashed idiots from the Colonies."

"Miss Kitty, I would go to the grave in shame if I were responsible for your deportation from Great Britain because of your irrelevant attitude towards the protocols of peerage."

"Come on Mullins, you're pulling my left tit."

"Miss Kitty, oh God."

"Back off Kitty, you are far too much for poor Mullins. Lead on with our overnight bags Mullins. A taxi I would think?"

"You think correctly my lady."

Kitty whispered to Magnolia, "He's a darling, just as you said he was."

* * *

Kitty looked out the taxi window as the restored hotel now the manor house with the abandoned piece of land alongside it having being purchased by his lordship to have surrounding land to justify calling his new home a manor house. "Wow, it's huge."

Lady Fitzroy just smiled leaving it to Mullins to sniff, "In terms of space our servant's quarters were larger than that at our previous 384 year old manor house from which we were displaced Miss Kitty."

"I see, but at least it's a leg up from a country pub at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere Mullins."

"Oh true, oh God how true Miss Kitty."

Magnolia smiled. "Miss Kitty throughout my late teens and twenties Mullins always promised me our family's fall from grace would end one day on an uplift that would see us right. We tried to believe him b-but it was d-difficult."

Kitty hugged Magnolia and said, "It'd a fine home for retirement although I'm rather disappointed at the tiny size of the village."

"I warned you it was small."

"True Magnolia but you could have given me a clue by saying it would fit into Tunbridge Mall and its vehicle parking areas."

* * *

Mullins led the two guests into the drawing room where Lord and Lady Quorn were watching re-runs of old films of fox hunting on their former estate.

"Lord Quorn and my lady, I announce the arrival of your youngest daughter, the Lady Magnolia Fitzroy from London and beyond and accompanying her is Miss Kitty of unknown pedigree..."

"Hi mommy, hi daddy. Kitty's maternal grandfather was a naval cadet on the one of the rebel gunboats that destroyed some of the British flotilla in 1920 after they were caught napping. Kitty's grandfather later became Admiral Sir Clive Bellamy."

"By joves Kitty," said Lord Quorn, plucking his moustache, "My father would have met your maternal grandfather as he was first Governor-General of your nation on its independence in the mid 1920s. Of course we British paid for sending the clapped-out HMS London from our Far East Fleet rather than peeling off a modern battle cruiser from the Mediterranean Fleet. Another stuff up by the Admiralty, eh what?"




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 05



"Yes my lord."

"What do you do girl?"

"I'm er between jobs."

"Daddy, she's our country's incoming Foreign Minister, youngest ever by a long shot."

"Good show Kitty."

"Yes Kitty, that is very impressive. Obviously a title will be coming your way in due course."

"Thank you my lady."

Mullins was looking at Kitty with huge new respect.

"Ma'am, you are aware the Lady Magnolia has also just been elected to our Parliament, with a huge majority, and is Leader of the Liberal Party and when we return will be in negotiations as a possible party to join the Prime Minister's party in coalition." 

"Yes my dear, she mentioned that in her e-mail thing advising she would be visiting us accompanied by you. But I say, your country doesn't even have an Upper House."

"Well my lady, take heart. I predict the Lady Magnolia will be elevated because her party will be the best fit with the Prime Minister's party and as a carrot she will be offered the Ministry of Housing or perhaps Overseas Trade."

"Well that is more like it Kitty. Are you able to help her?"

"Yes my lady. I will be advising the Lady Magnolia to hold out for the Overseas Trade ministry. There is a fit between the Foreign and Trade portfolios and we can then go to joint conferences in such great shopping places as London, France, Hong Kong and New York will also jointly attending to our country's vital international affairs."

"Well done. May I suggest you run along with Mullins, allowing Lord Quorn and myself to renew our family ties with out daughter."

"Yes Mullins, off you go," Lord Quorn said. "Take Kitty with you and please don't sexually embarrass our distinguished visitor."

"As you wish my lord. Please follow me Miss Kitty, VIP."

* * * 

Magnolia returned an hour later. "God, I thought my parents had aged and they have but lightened up after you left. After lunch with them we can walk through the village for your benefit, return and have afternoon while playing croquet in ballroom with them and then we'll have dinner with them at 5:00 we they will retire for the night."

"Well, that's okay."

"You don't have to be polite with me darling," Magnolia said, pulling out a notebook. "I was thinking of booking a private room at a local inn and inviting some of the younger set to party with us, most of whom will be related to me. Let me see, who would you like to screw -- I can do a Marquess, an Earl, a couple of Viscounts or a load of lusty commoners from which you can take your pick."

"Sounds good to me." 

"Tommy the Marquess is a little over forty, looks feminine but knows how to use that big one of his. I should know. His sister Margaret is even better -- oops, what am I saying? Perhaps both?"

"I, er, suggest you ask a whole bunch. Er, possibly it's too late notice to expect them to come?"

"Oh they'll come darling. It's what they do."

Both debauched women were awaken at 11:00 next morning and after a tour of the countryside driven erratically by Lord Quorn's in his recently acquired 75-year-old rebuilt Rolls Royce, they collected Lady Quorn and went to Barrow-upon-Soar, stopping on the way for late lunch of pork pies and chips before the visitors were dropped off to catch a train back to London via Leicester.

"Gawd what a night last night," Magnolia groaned. "I did the right thing by confining myself to Billy and Fredrick otherwise I may have been hospitalized for the next couple of days. How did you go with Tommy and other callers?"

"I am so ashamed of myself," Kitty said glumly. 

"Darling you came to England to meet my parents and to experience a little about how titled people live. You've done that and are entitled to be disgusted by the abandonment of moral standards amongst privileged younger people, quite forgetting of course of how their ancestors behaved, particularly in the 16th century or thereabouts. We return home much relieved, knowing our society in Oceanpacifica appears to be much higher in the scale of morality and that allowing the Navy to rundown and being excessive about sex led to Britain losing its mega-resource rich colonies. You and I in just a few hours have completed a finding of immense value to us as we prepare to steer the people of our country from our exalted positions of influence. By the way, thanks for telling my parents that crap about me being given a ministry to oversee."

"Magnolia darling, thanks for that little speech that has vindicated me for participating in such wanton excessiveness last night,' Kitty said, rather unconvincingly. "I simply had no idea I was engaged in social research of such grave importance. Regarding your elevation, please consider yourself as the incoming Minister of Foreign Trade. You'll get the post providing you follow my guidance; I'll bet on that."

"Well, well. Thank you darling. Oh, by the way, daddy has given me a bank draft for £250,000 pounds as compensation in accepting responsibility for placing me in all those years of deprivation."

"Good for you darling. Will you buy a fancy car or use it to buy clothes and make-up?"

"A little excessive don't you think darling? In our currency that's around three-quarters of a million dollars."

"Oops, sorry. You could make a down payment on a castle."

"Very droll. Eeeek! That's it. Tomorrow we go apartment hunting."

"What, waste one of our precious days in London -- are you mad?"

Magnolia said to her best friend patiently, "Don't you see darling -- we could use it as our base during parliamentary recesses and when not on official business aboard or at home sitting on those boring committees."

Kitty asked her friend to be a little more enthusiastic about the value of committee work where the real work of parliamentarians was done. "Although I must admit so long as committee involvement doesn't fall below 50% of full attendance, one's absence is tolerated providing it does not occur at crucial voting times."

"But that's managed isn't it?"

"Yes, it does seem feasible."

Magnolia bounced in excitement and said now Kitty was switching on. "You and Jim could use the apartment because after two nights even the best of hotel living becomes a little dreary, at least that's what you're always saying."

"Well yes. Um, I have money tucked away. I could think about contributing."

Magnolia said that was wonderful. If they bought in the right place and let it out for most of the time the investment would run into profit that they would split.

Kitty said she could go up to £200,000 if it was a solid investment but she'd need a couple of months to unravel it as it was in property back home. The two women agreed to swoop on inspections in the morning with a real estate agent and try to have it wrapped up by early afternoon -- joint ownership and Magnolia would provide the deposit with settlement in three months.

"Good, but we only buy in that ridiculously short time-frame if the words 'value and prime location' scream out at us."

"God yes, I'll track down Cousin Patricia who works for her father who is a partner is a large firm of estate agents," Magnolia said, pulling out her phone. "I'm looking forward to find out from Skye if Scotland Yard survived her visit."

"Me too -- we must look for a two and a half bedroom apartment for when the five of us visit London together."

"Whose the fifth person."

"Jim, even if you decide not to marry him."

"Oh Jim, oh I feel dreadful, I'd forgotten about him," Kitty cried.

"Darling, one tends to allow one's man to slip from mind when he's not around performing that essential service," Magnolia said, mimicking her mother's very 'cultured' voice. "Oh hello Lady Alice, it's your niece Magnolia from the Colonies. Yes, I'm well. No I'm still without children. Yes I am back briefly to visit to recharge my batteries. Aunt Alice, could you please give me Pat's number? Sorry, I mean Patricia. Oh, now married to an earl is she but still works selling and renting-out apartments? Oh good, good. Yes, I did glimpse some sun yesterday while up at Quorn."

* * *

Three nights later as the three women flew out of Heathrow on British Airways on the way home with a 12-hour stopover in Hong Kong to squeeze in some shopping Skye recounted in detail some of her experiences during her time with different units at Scotland Yard. "They are very different to us and even our police in one important respect -- in restraining villains and suspects they are prohibited from softening up those apprehended and it's an absolute no-no to go into a cell with a rubber hose and one faces a serious charge if one hits a fellow officer, even one below one in ranking."

"What's this 'one' thing with you Skye?" Kitty asked.

"One is expected to talk like one's hosts when one is away from one's homeland, isn't one?"

A flight attendant had to rush and politely ask Kitty and Lady Magnolia to muffle their mirth. With order restored the two new politicians talked about the luxury apartment they were in the process of purchasing in Mayfair, thanks to urgent calls to Sir Gerald and Jim who both agreed to invest as partners once they'd seen the walk-through video emailed to them by Patricia, now the Countess of Charlton.

Although deep into the Scotland Yard handbook 'Guide to Collection of DNA Evidence, at the mention of how conveniently placed the apartment was to three tube lines, the closest being the Piccadilly Line and that they could easily walk to Buckingham Palace, Skye said, "Good, I'll be able to check out palace security on my first stay with you guys in your apartment."

Kitty said brightly, "Good one Skye. And with my connections through the Foreign Office I'll get you access to Westminster."

"I'd rather you got me access to Parliament."

"Darling Skye, the Palace of Westminster houses the Houses of Parliament and they are in the same area of our apartment which is in the City of Westminster which is of borough of London with city status. I know this sounds awfully confusing but this type of confusion is what the British rather like. I think they think it confuses the enemy. Are you aware that our apartment is actually in the district of Mayfair which is where the name of our Mayfair Heights comes from which in early days was actually there the fair was held each year in May?"

"Gawd, how confusing," Skye said. "Small wonder the pioneers of our country rebelled to kick the British out before they stuffed up our country."

The same air attendant rushed over to quell the raucous laughter. "Look ladies,' she said sternly. "Unless you behave more moderately I shall be forced to put you outside."

Knowing they were more than 30,000ft above the sea, 'Magnolia, Kitty and Skye thereafter curtailed their volume of laughter, tested when Skye eyed the retreating back of the flight attendant and said, "Being a British aircraft and British crew, I reckon they'd try it if they were sure we were from a former colony."

"I really don't think so, Skye, and besides you are safe as you are in my company and she'd recognized the Midlands accent I appear to have slipped back into."

"Oh yes, I noticed you are now talking more like a lady."

"Thank you Skye," Lady Magnolia smiled.

Chapter 17

Liberal Party president Gail Hammersmith, Lady Fitzroy and deputy Liberal parliamentary leader Hamish Harris went into the Cabinet room to meet their National Unity Party counterparts knowing they were last in line, that the NUP had already had exploratory talks with the New Age Party and with the Green Party. They'd spent two hours being briefed by Kitty and her uncle Alexander, a retired NUP Minister of Justice. As they entered they were required to handover their phones and were scanned for possible recorders or transmission devices.

The Prime Minister and Lady Fitzroy made the introductions after the couple had kissed.

Sir Max began saying the purpose of possible coalition talks was in the best interests of stable government rather than any suggestion of desperation of NUP to remain in power.

"Bullshit!"

The Prime Minister stopped, looking quite shocked at Lady Fitzroy who was looking around as if someone else had made that quite improper interjection.

"Good girl," Gail whispered to Magnolia. "Just as Kitty said -- he appears to be on the back foot already, confirmed if he makes no demand for an apology."

"Um, as I was saying, it's the best solution for everyone. It is essential that our team..."

"Prime Minister, please get down to the nitty-gritty."

"Er yes Lady Fitzroy. Keep your demands to the minimum and realistic then the NUP will enter an agreement with the Libs to form a coalition. Have you any comment?"

"Thank you Prime Minister. Our analysis suggests..."

"You guys don't have the money for proper in-depth analysis."

"Prime Minister, I would prefer not to be rudely interrupted," Lady Fitzroy shouted, watching the NUP party chairman whisper into the PM's ear and that caused the PM to clench his fists.

Some forty minutes later Lady Fitzroy said, "That's what we want, Prime Minister. Triple the parliamentary financial and service support that is due to our team as of right, a full portfolio for me and for Hamish deserves a junior posting but sitting inside Cabinet."

"That demand is grossly excessive."

"What else did you expect Prime Minister? May we adjoin for lunch?"

"Yes of course Magnolia, er, Lady Fitzroy."

"Get use to the idea we're your best bet," said Gail. "Our investigators have found that divorcing his wife has not sat kindly on Alf Struthers of New Age who is receiving specialist counseling for advancing depression and their deputy leader is a closet gay and has come to our knowledge that your talks with the Greens was a disaster with them demanding their terms of accommodation with you include disbanding the Air Force, reducing the Navy to Coastguard level and reducing the size of the Army by two-thirds and abandoning plans to advance into nuclear power generation."

"Good God, our talks with other parties are top secret."

"I would have thought so Prime Minister," but someone who is close to the wife of the chairman of the Green Party was drinking with her at a bar and they almost ran out of conversation until the subject Government inaction about getting a coalition partner came up."

"Sir Gerald, l need to talk to you in private," said the NUP party chairman, leading the purple-faced PM into a side-room.

"Where's the bar Samuel?" Lady Magnolia said to the confused looking NUP deputy-leader.

"Oh yes, of course. Champagne Lady Fitzroy?"

"Have we something to celebrate?"

"I rather think it's the Libs or nothing, don't you?"

"Obviously you are a bright man," Gail said. "I would think the PM could do with relaxing a bit although I guess his party chairman is working on that right now."

At 9:00 that evening over late dinner the negotiation teams completed their agreement and it was agreed and the PM and Lady Fitzroy work with the parliamentary legal department next morning on documentation to be signed by the parliamentary and party leaders of both sides at 10:00 and the PM to address a media conference called for 11:00.

"The whole nation has been waiting in limbo for this," the PM declared.

"Oh darling, don't be so pompous," Lady Fitzroy said. "Tell the media something like, 'The Libs had us by the throat but we pushed back and ended up with a pretty good deal including their undertaking to support us on Confidence and Supply."

"All right, but I'll have to spell out the finer points."

"Why?"

"Because it has been the case in the past."

"But aren't we the coalition of the future?"

"Well yes, you are right. Why tell those jerks in the media everything when they'll ignore most of it and stuff up half of what they do report."

Lady Fitzroy raised her glass and said, "Well done darling, now you're smoking like a real PM. Oh, perhaps you should explain for the benefit of those in the media exactly what the terms Confidence and Supply mean. I didn't know until Kitty briefed me."

"Oh yes Lady Fitzroy. Tell me darling, does Kitty happen to be very friendly with the wife of the chairman of the Green Party?"

"Darling, this is a celebration not an inquisition. You do need to relax."

The media conference next day went down like a lead balloon after the initial cheer following the PM's smiling declaration that NUP was ready to govern in coalition with the Libs. Questions included, 'Where was the expansive press release?" 'What was the secret agenda? And 'Why the Libs and not the NAP or the Greens?'

The PM was happy to reply no comment until Murray Locke of the Guardian asked, "What does the President's wife as Lib parliamentary leader get out of this Prime Minister?"

"Oh Murray, the only intelligent questioned asked here today. I will announce my Cabinet on Friday at a media conference in front of the steps up to Parliament at 10:00. Wink, wink Murray."

The conference disintegrated as reporters rushed off pulling out their phones but Murray and a TV crew stayed behind.

"Prime Minister and Lady Fitzroy," requested Murray very politely. "May we photograph you together gazing into each other's eyes? This will be a first for our country won't it Prime Minister -- a newly elected parliamentarian being appointed a Cabinet Minister."

"Yes Murray but she won it on merit and having me across the barrel. Any PM would have had to capitulate. Fuck, what am I saying!"

"Moderate your language please Prime Minister as we're on network TV. This is Murray Locke of the Guardian, signing off."

As soon at the TV camera and sound were switched off Murray walked over and kissed Magnolia, congratulating her.

"You're a bastard Murray," Sir Max snarled. "I'm surprised you had the brains to set this up."

"I probably do but someone suggested it to me. Dinner at my humble home on Saturday night Lady Fitzroy?"

"Thank you Murray. I'll attempt to bring the President with me."

They turned to look at the PM who'd slapped a hand against his head and was shouting, "Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!"

The grounds to Parliament were packed to listen to the Prime Minister announce his Cabinet, the nation knowing from the scoop TV broadcast of the PM's huge indiscretion that history would be made with Lady Fitzroy becoming a Cabinet Minister in the Coalition Government. A cartoon in the Guardian had turned the PM's gaff into mirth by suggesting Lady Fitzroy would take up a newly created post of Minister in Charge of Animal Vivisection.

A cheer sounded when the fourth Cabinet post in ranking was announced: Minister of Foreign Affairs, Miss Kitty Loveridge.

A huge roar usually reserved for 'The People's Hero' erupted when the number seventh ranking was announced: Minister of Overseas Trade and Minister of Immigration, The Marchioness of Fitzroy, The Lady Magnolia Fitzroy, Leader of the Liberal Party and Coalition Partner.

The final posting, twelfth in ranking, received polite applause: Minister of Education and Minister of the Environment, Associate Professor Dr Hamish Harris, deputy leader of the Liberal Party and Coalition Partner.

When Magnolia's appointment was announced she and Kitty squeezed hands as both knew, following intimate discussion with only Gerry, Skye and Jim present with them, that announcement marked an ending: Magnolia was no longer sexually confused. Her confidence was restored, her reputation had mended and she was on an upward spiral. At that dinner meeting Kitty nodded to Jim and he formally announced the wedding date and everyone congratulated them. Ensuring Skye was seated Kitty asked her if she would be a bridesmaid. Skye turned exceedingly pink and said yes.

"Magnolia, would you please by my chief bridesmaid."

"Oh Kitty, I'm married."

"I should hope you were, having an idea what you and Gerry get up to."




The President's Gay Wife Pt. 05



"Yes, yes. I accept."

"Thank you Magnolia. I understand you and I begin are first foreign tour in two weeks, making courtesy calls," Kitty said. "I suggest we start in New York where you, Skye and I shall select our style of dresses for the wedding and be measured up and continue on to Europe, stay at the flat for a few days, using it as our European base, call on your parents Magnolia and then following the return to New York for dress fittings, do Canada and Japan and fly from there to visit Canberra to meet our counterparts and then spend a few days in subtropical Queensland before returning here. We'll get final fittings on our next visit to the UK via New York."

Magnolia said that sounded lovely. "I take it we are required to make these courtesy calls?"

Kitty smiled. "Indeed, international protocol demands it as does our Prime Minister who is anxious that we move quickly to justify his confidence in us and to silence his critics who seem to believe you and I will simply regard our ministerial appointments as the perfect opportunity to frequent the great shopping centers of the world."

"Ladies," Gerry said. "Could we change this conversation to talk about the national economy -- something that interests Jim and I. Which reminds me, when shall we all meet in London to visit my old school and visit my aged parents."

THE END