0 comments/ 10219 views/ 1 favorites The Last Letter Ch. 01 By: BanditIRA 15, June 2006 Cincinnati OH Dear Isabelle, Do you know your name means Consecrated of God? Kinda strange in a way. But it fits as I think of how you always were the unicorn I sought. I actually went to the base library and looked it up once. It took a while, but we had nothing but time, when it was granted. Thirteen years ago. That's four thousand, seven hundred, and forty-five days. It was thirteen summers ago when I first laid eyes on you. From the first moment I saw you at Joy's wedding, walking down the isle, you stopped my beating heart. Now I wonder if that moment was bittersweet. I wondered if it would have been easier not to see you then, as it is to leave you again. I didn't see tears this time, or you running back into Joy's house. This time you ran into your own apartment and slammed the door shut. I called my old Lieutenant today and he said that he will complete the paperwork as soon as possible. I will have to wait a month to reenlist, but maybe it will go quickly. I don't know. All I know is, I am lost here. There I had a purpose. Here... I am not sure. I am so sorry. Joseph Chapter 1 5, July 2000 Dear Isabelle, 1:42am Well, where am I? On a greyhound bus, with forty other guys, every single one of them is quiet. No one is talking, I heard one guy go into the bathroom awhile ago, and when he came back out I saw that he looked almost like the cartoon character that got sick. I think I will name him, Elmer. Heh, it seems strange to me now that I can even notice small things like that, when it comes to me having to be in the same position as all of these guys will in a very few hours. I am not even sure what I am going to do the moment I step off this bus and have some guy screaming at me to move, move, move. From the guy I am sitting next to on the bus says his brother told him, 'It is a bunch of Hurry up and wait.' Hurry up and wait, doesn't that sound like growing up? As a child all we can do is be in a hurry to grow older but we have to wait. Then as an adult we realize we were so stupid. Ha, I am only 18 and I know that. I am on a bus to join the countries 'fighting boys', how's that for trying to grow up too quickly? Anyway, I need to tell you something, it is about when I left Joy's house yesterday. Well in all honesty, I needed to ask you something as well. So here goes, and hopefully you will forgive my stupidity for being a coward. Remember when we were all out on the deck, just enjoying the quiet? When I looked over at you I saw you staring at me, I knew right away you caught me staring back. But you never said a word, and I feel so stupid for not asking you to go for a walk. Would you have said yes? Would you have asked me why all I could do was stare at you? Maybe I would have been able to tell you then, that I have stared at you like that since we first met at the camping grounds, that one year. God five years ago seems like a life time. You came with the Mackenzie's, every summer. It had just been us, as in the Blackmore's and the Mackenzie's. No friends were allowed, just the families but then you came that year, and broke my heart. Did you even know I couldn't speak, did you not wonder why all I did was nod my head grinning, or shaking? God what a fool I was. 2:31am Scratch just woke up, that's my buddy next to me. He was snoring soundly on the bus seat about a minute ago. The reason why I call him Scratch is because he is always scratching his head. Well... he weaseled me out of telling him the nick name I have been trying to hide from all my life. "Scout? People call you scout? Like a boy scout?" he asked me in that very northern draw. Well, I guess like his brother says, 'Every guy in the military will earn a nickname, unless he has a good one already... That was why I was called rug.' He tells me this as if it was supposed to explain something. When I gave him that famous either speak or shut up look, he laughed and said, "My brother is hairy as an ape man." My god is that what this military has come to? Naming people weird or embarrassing names because they want to sound like those movies? So many questions and so little time to ponder then ask more. Elmer went to the bathroom again. This time it was quick but he looks even worse. As he passed me I offered him a smile of 'It's ok man, no worries.' He nodded his head in thanks, then quickly went back to his seat. God this letter has begun to run on and ramble again I guess, I am not exactly sure what is in my head right now. At first I thought perhaps it was just nerves, but now I am thinking it is me needing you to be my priest, my dirty confessor, hell I don't know. Just please bear with me and do not try to pass too much judgment on me. Well the driver just announced that we will be there soon, so I guess it is time to tell you what I have waited five years and one month to tell you. Last night when you ran off and would not speak to me again before you left, all I could do is wish I was hugging you tightly and telling you I love you. Maybe you would have returned the same words... I don't know but I wish you would have. Joseph The ringing was what initially woke Joseph up from the start of what was hopefully a very good dream, then the quiet again. Joseph groaned just slightly, and rolled back over into bed, his head spinning just slightly but that was ok. He could sleep it off. Tomorrow he had nothing to do he thought. Friday was his day off, or at least what he considered his day off. Getting up at nine in the morning was a blessing for him. Groaning quietly again, he rolled to the side of his bed. Each time he tried to focus on the numbers on his clock, they would slowly shift out of whack. Better off going back to sleep he thought, at least then that incessant ringing would quit. Rolling back onto the other side of the small bed, he closed his eyes and in his half sleep, half awake slumber he thought to himself, what was that ringing? It wouldn't stop and wait why was it in short bursts like a phone? Was he finally losing his marbles? One day of being a civilian and he was already going nuts? Bolting up right, he quickly knew what that ringing was. It was a phone, yes a phone, those things people called each other on. Quickly scooting to the edge of his bed, he stood. While his legs seemed strong enough to hold him up, his head sure felt like it wouldn't. Walking over to the wall beside his bathroom, he picked up the handset and brought it tentatively to his head, hoping that it wasn't some emergency with his unit. Wait what unit he thought, I am a free man. "Sergeant Blackmoore, who is this?" he asks warily. They couldn't possibly be bringing him back could they? "Joseph! Do you have any clue what time it is right now?" an almost shrill voice screamed into the phone. His eyes quickly snapped back to his alarm clock, on the military looking night stand. Three in the morning. Why would his mother be calling him at three in the morning half way around the world? Did something happen, did dad get in an awful wreck? "Mom is dad ok? Was Luke in an accident?" he asks, his head and voice quickly becoming clear and precise. "No, but I have been calling you for the last half hour. Your flight leaves in exactly one hour and seven minutes....," his mother intoned to him, clearly knowing without even asking why he was not awake. "What fli.... Oh god the wedding, the flight... The... Holy fuck! Bye mom, I will see you tomorrow! I gotta go. Love you!" he said quickly, staring at his room, and looking to the blankets of his bed which were only a sheet and a rough wool blanket. "Holy what?!? Just because you are speaking to your... Oh fine. Hurry up honey, I know you had a long night I bet. Make sure not to miss your connector and we will leave your jeep in the over night parking. Third row from the right. I left you something under the seat. Don't forget to look. We are at the Mackenzie's, if you get stuck, give us a call there." "Mom, wait. I am not sure I will be able to stop by their house before the wedding. I don't think I will have the time. Go ahead if I am not there and I will see you at the church." "Oh, your father and I already figured that would be the case. We left you directions just in case you need them in the glove compartment," she said in the classic motherly knowledge. "Mom... I... Well...Will..," Joseph quietly says. Not daring to voice the question he so badly wanted to ask. "Yes dear, she will be there. Now hurry up and catch your flight. I love you, make sure you shave." Always the mother, Joseph thought with just the faintest of chuckles. Hanging up the phone, Joseph looked around himself. This was the last time he would look at this room and he wanted to take a good long glance around. Three years here and what had he done with it, sadly, he thought nothing. There was the lone picture on the wall of Luke, Joy, Alissa, and Isabelle but what else? Looking around the sparse confinement he could only laugh. Nothing. That was the scary fact. Nothing had been done beyond the basic essentials. He use to have a television in the corner but that was before he gave it to Sergeant Morales two days ago, along with the stand it came with. The writing desk that had also been used as a night stand, had nothing but a lamp and alarm clock on it. The lime green cement walls had certainly been meant for more than just that one picture. But with a dreadful feeling, he had picked up some of the superstitions of the army. Rule number one he would chide to himself, never leave too much for a buddy to have to clean out. It was supposed to make it easier and less heart breaking on the poor guy who had to clean out your locker and room. It wasn't that he really believed it but he had to clean out one of his privates lockers two weeks after he got to the base. Not a pleasant experience, especially since he barely knew the guy. His buddies looked to Joseph as if he was the devil himself who did it but Joseph had taken his responsibility to heart and knew that he would expect no less of someone else. Writing the letter, as they would call it. That was what deadened his senses. It was supposed to be short and to the point but it wasn't. He couldn't help telling the mother and father of the private; that he barely knew the man but was so proud having a hero like him in the squad. When the letter came back, he read it with a sense of fear. Asking around, not a single sergeant had ever received a letter back from a parent but he had. Opening it with dread, all he had to do was read the first line to know the parents blamed him for their loss. Maybe that was why he did it more than out of superstition but knowing he had parents who might react to the poor man writing them. Looking around the room, he felt a sudden jolt of elation and suspense. This was only a chapter in his life; he had much more to go. 'I made it!' Joseph in his head! I made it, that simple statement brought a warm joyous feeling, but then again that small corner of his soul where he made sure to wall off asked, 'Did you? Are you so sure you made it?' Answering that question was not safe Joseph reminded himself, not safe at all. Maybe when he got home, done with the wedding, done with seeing her. When he was old in his bed and almost dead would he answer that question. Quickly packing up the last of what he left till this morning; only small things really. Shaving kit, his dress uniform and the alarm clock. Beyond that were his notebook and a couple of pens. Throwing the things quickly into his pack, he walked over to the wall. Looking at the picture, he couldn't help but smile. It was taken that trip when Isabelle came to the camp in southern Kentucky with the Mackenzie's for the first time. All of them had a goofy grin, the terrible five the parents had called them but like most times in his life, he had chosen to stay behind the camera instead of inside the picture. Arms around each other, the three girls and Luke. God, they all looked so young. Luke and Alissa both fifteen, Joy and Isabelle were both thirteen like him. Something more though was behind those smiles. Maybe the innocence, maybe the not knowing the future. What ever it was, he doubted a picture of them now would reveal much more than simply happy grins, and if it did? What would they see? God he thought to himself what would it show? Army green was his choice today. He knew he might catch hell from his captain but to hell with it he thought, it's not like he doesn't do the same thing when he has a choice. The Captain was tall and lean, with black and gray sand speckled hair, a deep tan with a still rock hard body. He and his wife lived off base along with their two daughters, Emily and Melissa. The older of the two, Emily, being 24 and the youngest being 14. The house they lived in always reminded Joseph of home. It had a warm welcoming feeling to it. While almost every Wednesday he was there for dinner with the family, he had always made sure to be polite and courteous but there was a sneaking suspicion with a lot of the base that the Captain had found a son finally in Joseph. He in return thought of them as his family. Walking to the mirror in the bathroom, he watched closely as he finished his tie and buttoned his coat. Looking one last time, he nodded his head. Good shape, he had shaved before he went out the night before and was happy to admit shaving for him had never been a more than once a week routine. His black hair short and closely cropped, was still growing in from the last hair cut he had gotten. While he had slowly grown out of his baby fat, he looked young. At twenty six years of age, he sometimes still got carded when he went on leave to America. He was six feet tall, with a very athletic build. While he did not force himself to work at his body, which thanks to good genes came easily, he still would spend a couple hours a week in the gym. His gray eyes were one of the most striking features on his lean face, they seemed to be of a dark stormy sky. When he looked to both of his parents, who had blue eyes, he could not help but wonder sometimes; but then again, if he looked to his pure blooded Irish grand father, he knew that instant he had been blessed with his black Irish roots. The slight tan he had gotten since he came here was what set his lop-sided grin off. He would sometimes look mischievous when he gave that grin. Most men in his squad had quickly learned that if Sarge grinned like that, they were going to have very angry mothers at home, if they heard what he was planning. In the green dress uniform, he looked slightly older, but not much. When he had originally come to the company, his Captain had asked if he was ready for jail or not. Unsure how to respond he said nothing. With a loud cackle of laughter, it was then explained to him that as young as he looked, most people would assume he had lied about his age to join. Only a groan escaped his lips as he shook his head at the Captain's obvious humor. Walking away from the mirror with a smirk, he could not help but remember that conversation, where it seemed each of them was playing chest; each trying to gain the upper hand and figure how to approach the other with what would end up as almost a father-son relationship. Going back to the wall with the phone, he picked it up and just for a moment stared at it. Gathering his thoughts, he dialed up the number he knew from heart. "Captain Jones, that you Scout?" The Captains gruff voice came over the line, it sounded as if he had long since been awake. But then again, Joseph thought, the man could go forty-five hours and still be wide-awake. "Yes sir. Scout reporting for his last call, sir," Scout said quickly, almost too quickly he thought. If he had said anymore, he might lose his composure and not speak. "Good God son, your mother called here five times! Do you have any idea how much that woman scares me?" the man laughed loudly, "She thought you were going to miss your flight and have that pretty lass on your wall all alone for the wedding." "Sir, I thought me taking your daughter out for the weekend would have scared you more than my poor dear old mother," Joseph quickly replied, his own laughter now filling his empty room. Those empty walls now resounded the noise loudly. "Son, my daughter would eat you for breakfast," the captain replied, laughing even harder, "You packed and ready to go, Scout?" "Yes sir, just finished up. Remind me to tell you which of the men you should wake up early for some PT. The bastards had me out drinking and trying to celebrate my leaving." "They're going to miss you. Perfectly natural to want to get drunk, especially when one of my men is leaving. Have yourself out of the barracks in five, son," the captain said, and then promptly hung up. With a slightly bewildered look at the receiver as he pulled it away from his head, Joseph hung up the phone. Well, he thought, all I can expect is him to be quick. Although it surprised the young man, to think that the captain would be so quick to hang up, Joseph had wanted to speak to him more and thank him for all the help, and advice he had received. Maybe the Captain expected this and decided he was finished talking. "Oh well, might as well hurry. I still need to get to the carpool garage before I lose my ride." Shaking his head again with now a slight bit of sadness, he walked over to the wall, looking one last time at the picture. He pulled it down from the wall. Putting it carefully in his pack, he zipped up the black pack and walked to the foot of his bed. Grabbing his green army duffel bag, he slung it over his right shoulder, while carrying the black pack by its handhold. He walked to the door, opening quietly so as not to disturb his neighbors, he turns about closing the door, leaving it unlocked and his room key on the desk. Someones else's room now, Joseph thought. Someone else's empty walls to find staring back at them. Walking down the darkened hallways, he quickly put one foot in front of the other. He wasn't exactly sneaking away, he had told everyone he would be leaving this weekend but didn't happen to mention that it was actually early morning Friday when he had his flight. Not good at goodbyes, he wrote his squad and friends a short letter saying where he was going and his address. Then said goodbye, short and simple he thought. As he walked by the message board, he pinned it quickly to the cork board. Written on the envelope was simply 'From Sergeant Blackmore to ALL'. He knew he would get letters and calls from most of them but he still did not want to have all those people out there and it getting even sappier than last night at the bar. Opening the door to the front of his barracks, he was slightly curious as he saw two cars parked close by; one a military Jeep, the second was a black Honda Civic. Even more curious was that they both had their engines running, their headlights shining brightly into the black cool early morning. Then quickly the jeep pulled up along beside of him as he started heading off to the garage. Looking to his left, he looked into the interior of the jeep,the top still on, he saw Captain Jones. "Evening son, you going AWOL? I might be able to give you a lift," Captain Jones said with another growl of laughter. "Sure sir, but I gotta have your word I will not end up in Timbuktu with a tattoo of a snake wrapped around a heart," Joseph said opening the door and tossing his duffel into the back then pulling himself and his backpack into the front. "I got that one in Burma, Scout. The drinking there.... Wow...!" Captain Jones smiled. Jones' quickly put the car into gear and pulled away from the door, leaving the barracks and getting out onto the road. The Last Letter Ch. 02 24, July 2000 Dear Isabelle, Maybe I should tell you how damn tired I am, I can barely sleep, I can barely think straight sometimes. The talk is of how they tear you down before they build you back up. What the hell do I need to be broken down to a singled cell organism for? Shaved head, new boots, and a weapon. That is what I have been molded into, move left protect your flank! Move right, watch your ass soldier! Ugh, one thing I knew would happen would be this conditioning, but am I becoming a robot? Point, shoot, hide, point, shoot, run? Scratch is my best friend I guess, I have mentioned him in the previous letters. But I think it is official now that he has seen my worst moments. Last night I was thinking about that summer we first met, and you just smiled like the little imp you are when I stood there dumbfounded looking at... well you. But more your eyes and how they seemed to make your smile perfect, the small dimples on your cheeks just slightly enhancing your smile and beauty... ugh cheesy I know. Anyways God it was so hot that summer, I thought I would have died of dehydration, I guess the swimming helped that huh? Anyways, I told him about the letters he kept asking me about, and just who I was writing to every day, whether I was running on a couple hours of sleep or staring off into the distance as I made sure to write you in mind then to faithfully write it down word for word when I got the chance. Who indeed am I writing? Are you my priest like I had thought you might be? Perhaps. Are you my waiting blushing bride at home? Hardly! What about my friend? Of course. But exactly why am I writing you every day even I don't know. I mean think about how we almost hardly saw each other for the last year. But I now can't get you out of my head, it's like some habit I learned as a child but now cannot be broken because it's been far to long to rid myself of it. So what did I tell him? I told him everything, from the dimples to the thousands of love letters I wrote but never sent. That last part made him laugh so hard he actually farted, I am not kidding actually farted. When he finally could calm himself he said, "So are you actually going to send any of the huge stack in your footlocker?" God how was I suppose to answer that question? Was I supposed to tell him, no I can't send them to her? No, she is just too perfect, shes my unicorn? I tried explaining that how your that mythical figure, the one no matter how close you come to touching you never can because your not pure enough, nor are you fast enough, maybe not even good enough... actually no your not good enough to touch that mythical unicorn. I don't think he understood, but he nodded his head and mumbled something about needing a stiff drink after hearing that. Thats Scratch for ya, something he thinks is too 'deep' or 'intense' he needs a stiff drink. Something about Scratch reminds me of a bear, I am not sure if you will understand this but I will try to explain it. Heres a good example, when he rolls off the bottom bunk and stands he literally looks like some angry bear, fuzzy, red eyed, surly as a old sailor.... He really looks like a bear. He even growls when he yawns in the mornings, I mean like deep rumbling growl. Also he has that temperament of a bear. For example on the obstacle course there is this wall we have to climb over. Well we have this short guy called spark, cause he can barely contain himself I guess? Anyways, Scratch was watching this little guy try and try to get over, and us getting yelled at to hurry up, so he walks up all mild mannered like and says "Scuse me... But you gotta get over." Scratch just picks the guy up and tosses him over, then clambers his own self over. And me? I just stood there in awe, then hurried myself over. Like they say, the Army is just a bunch of hurry up and wait crap. Even in the training. I miss you. I love you. I hate myself you know, I can't even send all these letters I am up to, what's this one make the twenty-eighth? Ugh I don't know anymore. Saying goodbye always did hurt when we were children, I remember each and every single time I would leave from the campgrounds, or from the Mackenzie's house or from when you all would come up and visit. Every time you left or I did, if felt like the whole world was crashing down around be but no one else saw that all of time was coming to an end. How can it be that you brought so much light to my eyes and so much pain to my heart? Did you know you are the reason I look at the stars? Hoping one day we will both be sitting on some blanket in our backyard of our home watching the sky and speaking to each other of love and happiness? I have to go, it's getting close to bed time... Bed time. How old am I? I have a bed time all of a sudden again. Private, Joseph Stepping out of the car as he hefted his bags out the door, he looked directly across from him as he saw Emily's smiling face. She shut the door to the civic, as she rushed over giving Joseph one of those hugs that felt as if his ribs were about to crack. "Unhhhff!" Joseph grunted out as he tried sucking air into his now almost deflated lungs. Loudly he said, "Lady, I swear when they say dry cleaning only, it does not mean you have to squeeze it till it pops." "Oh stop it you." Emily laughed as let up slightly on her bear hold as she quickly stepped to his side, lifting Josephs arm around her shoulders as she held onto his torso. Looking over to the other side of the civic he smiled to Marge Jones, and said "Thank you for coming to see me off, ma'am." "Oh Scout, I couldn't stand the thought...." shaking her head, she quickly rounded the car and hugged Joseph as if her very life depended on it. Her arms tightly around his torso and in between Emily and Joseph she stood on her tip-toes and kissed him quickly on the cheek, a small wet spot spoiling her cheeks as it spilled from her eyelids. "I..." Joseph quietly tried to say, but his voice failed him as if it too sad to even dare speak the words they were about to speak. He quickly hugged Marge Jones around the shoulders and then released her just as quickly as he pulled away going to her husbands side and gluing herself to him like her daughter had done to Joseph. Slowly the group walked into the airbases terminal as the mood while looking and sounding almost happy still had a somber air around them that could not be mistaken as an easy parting. With his duffel bag hanging on his shoulder, and his pack hanging from his hand of the same arm. His whole left side it seemed to Joseph was taken up by this wondrous, and beautiful best friend. God it would be weird not meeting her for lunch, or taking her to the latest horror movie. What would he do he pondered for lunch next week? It would be a very lonely event he supposed, sure he would be seeing his extended for a week or two when he got back. He even had a basic outline of how he would be spending his time in Louisville for those two weeks but no set plans what so ever. A hotel room near some of his relatives, but hardly was there a plan of what all he would do. This was his one fear when he got there and was done with the wedding. What am I going to do? "Scout.. are you in there? Or did you turn all robot on us again?" Captain Jones asked again for the third time. His voice while quiet was full of concern as he saw the young man still off in a place that was not with them, even if his body was walking and going through the motions of being there. "Sorry sir, just thinking. Hey Em, did I ever tell you about this little place called Burma..." Joseph said trying to lift the mood that seemed to be settling down on them all like a thick fog. "Yard arm boy, yard arm." Marge tried gruffly saying as she imitated her husbands voice. With that the whole group seemed to upturn the fog as they all broke into laughter. Captain Jones most of all, smiling at his wife and just hugging her all the tighter. With that they all just looked to themselves, slowly each pulled out of their own thoughts and looked at the massive dark green plane in front of them. It was only a short flight on this one Joseph thought, then onto one of the commercial airliners straight to Chicago, then another to Louisville. "Ugh! That plane about matches how I feel when I think of boarding onto it." Joseph exclaimed loudly to the small group around him. "Scout, you do know soldiers don't show fear right?" Emily intoned as she looked up at his face, and seeing just the slightest frown he was making at the plane as if wishing it would just go away. "Erm... Sir, didn't you tell her it was all an act? I mean I know I am spoiling our reputation but... It's a plane." Joseph said quietly to Captain Jones. "Scout it is perfectly safe to fly in a plane, they have been doing it how many years now? It's not as if you won't have a parachute in this one in case it gets shot at or something like that." Captain Jones snickered quietly as he spoke to Joseph, it was always like this for him when he saw the young soldier boarding or even going near a plane. "Oh hun, don't tease the poor boy." Marge chided Jones, as he shook her head with sympathy. Slowly they all came to a stop inside the terminal close to the exit for the plane. Joseph noticeably became quiet as he looked out the window at the demon he saw that would provide plenty of torture for the next hour, but then his face seemed to take an even sadder grim smile as he turned to the family that had all but adopted him even if they oft teased that they had. Marge saw the young mans face and barely remained in control of her tears as she left her husbands side and again hugged the younger soldier to her and kissed his cheek one last time. "You take care of yourself Scout, god knows you will be missed by us all." she said in a cracked voice. "I will ma'am, I promise you." Joseph hugged the woman back as tightly as he dared feeling her shoulders moving up and down slightly as he hid her face into on his chest. Looking over to the Captain for help or something only he could begin to express with his eyes to the man, the Captain slowly came over and gently took his wife from Joseph's arms as Jones pulled her into a tight hug. Marge buried her eyes into the Captains chest, her shoulders moving even harder in their up and down motion. "Come on Em, I need to talk to you for a moment." Joseph said to the young woman beside him. She looked up into his face and nodded slightly not even sure if she could maintain herself as well as her mother had. She grabbed Joseph's hand tightly into hers as she followed him a few feet away from the others even closer to the door that would lead Joseph away from her. "I'm sorry Em." Joseph said as he turned slightly towards the window looking out of it and at the plane. "For leaving me, or never giving your heart to me?" Emily asked honestly, she knew Joseph was trying to apologize for one of those things perhaps both. "I'm not sure." Joseph replied his shoulders slouching just slightly. "I hope you will forgive me someday." he turned fully towards Emily now, "I just can't..." was all he was able to say before the young woman plastered herself against his chest and stood up on her toes pulling his head down towards her. Her hands latched behind his neck, she pressed her soft delicate lips tightly against his own as she kissed him with all the anger, love, sadness, acceptance, and finally passion she could give to him. Joseph at first stood there in shock, sure they had kissed once in awhile sometimes after their dates. Neither of them pure of chastity, but in front of her parents it was almost all but feared by him. Then his body melted against her own as he returned the kiss with all the words and meanings he could never speak to her, but the kiss perhaps explained more than they ever could have anyways. Slowly pulling back away from him she looked at Joseph sadly, "It is a good thing she doesn't live any where near me. I don't think I could control myself if I ever saw her." She pulled him down for one quick peck. Then pulled away sharply saying, "Goodbye Joseph, I love you." she ran to her mothers side and the women walked quickly away from the building out towards their car and the existence that was about to lose one person so close to their lives. "Well, son. I guess it's a sad goodbye for us all." Jones quietly said to Joseph as he walked to the young mans side and stared outside the window that Joseph looked through, he raised his hand and rested it gently on his shoulder. "Remember you always have a place to come to if you ever need a ear or a shoulder son." Squeezing his shoulder tightly he quickly releases his grip. Joseph still in a daze and fog from the kiss that broke his heart for a second time in his life, turns slowly towards the man and quietly says "Thank you sir. I..." "Sergeant. You need to begin loading into the plane." said a Corporal from behind the desk in the terminal. "Well Scout, time for you to get a move on while you can catch you can still catch your flight." Jones said gruffly, his arms circling around the young soldier and quickly hugging him. Just as quickly Jones releases him and turns a perfect about face and walks towards the parking lot doors. Josephs mind running a thousand miles a minute as he tries to will himself into speaking, moving, something, anything but standing there. Slowly the door swings shut on it's rusty hinges as the Captain walks away from the terminal. The gruff middle aged man walks slowly towards the wall beside the door and leans back against it. His shoulders slumping as they begin to show their almost fifty years. Inside the small terminal Joseph still stands as he feels rooted to the spot his feet are planted at. Unable to comprehend what exactly his mind is trying to make him do at that exact moment, he does the one thing he knows to do. Just as Captain Jones said to him just this late night, squaring his shoulders he bends down to pick up the bags by his feet. Standing back up, he falls back onto his training and walks towards the door. The thought, "You don't have to like it, you just have to do it" running heatedly in his mind. "Sergeant. Your flight is boarding." A corporal says to him quietly. "Thanks Corporal." Walking out the door Joseph was hit again in the face with the loud noise coming from the military transport. It was a huge hulking ugly green behemoth of a plane. Joseph's first reaction to seeing it warming up on the tarmac was one of fear and just a slight bit of trepidation. The planes rear was still open as he saw about ten guys loading up a few last minute crates. Walking towards the end he smiled to himself as he ran over the last time he flew in a plane something like this and thought of how he had to jump out of it on purpose in mid flight. That always brought a smile to his face, even if he hated flying he loved jumping from the ungodly machines. There was truly something peaceful, almost Zen like in falling through the sky and watching the slight curvature of the horizon. Part of Joseph knew that jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft was a bit insane. But then again, he was just happy to be out of the plane in the first place let alone not having the fear of crashing into some mountain. In the air he knew he was the only one he had to rely on to live, well that and a silken canopy to catch the wind. But at least up there he had knowledge of what to do when something went wrong. His canopy didn't come out correctly, and his lines started twisting in a slight circle. Kick his legs while reaching up and trying to spread the thick cords with his hands. Pulling outward in both directions with his hands, and then kicking in a hard circular motion would usually pull your lines straight. Or when the shoot would not deploy at all or ended up in a nasty ball of wires,silk, and a devils prayer. In those cases he had two options, die or do something about it. Simple to Joseph, just release your main and pull the reserve rip cord. Either way it was still a gamble, but the instructors had drilled into Joseph so many times on the actual mathematical improbabilities of both parachutes failing was not even worth calculating. As Joseph looked past the loading crates and into the planes belly he started walking up the loading ramp and asked one of the guys where he should store himself away for the short connecting flight. Getting his spot in the plane was easy as Captain Jones had promised. This was just a short hop over to a civilian airport where he would get onto the real flight and fly into the states and then into Louisville. "With hope." Joseph though to himself. Something Isabelle had told him a very long time ago, never pray to god for something. It was much easier to simply hope than to pray to some mythical figure head that you would be safe. Like his Isabelle, he said "With hope." quietly as he looked down through the belly and saw the loading ramp closing up. The flight was short as promised and landing in the god forsaken airport was a godsend. Joseph had sat in on his seat with sweat pouring down his brow sheening his face in a cold sweat. The turbulence was not long or actually all that bad in truth. Even when a door would open in a plane for a planned jumped, there was more of a shake than the turbulence he had just gone through. But that was different that wasn't his last day in this country and he sure wasn't about to see her. Shaking the hand of the smiling loading ramp attendant was an exercise in control Joseph felt. It may not have been him flying but he sure didn't have to smile in such a way after seeing Joseph looking as if he had just seen a ghost. "Thanks for the lift, tell the pilots thanks for me also." Joseph said to the soldier. "Will do, you have a good ride home on the civy bud." The civilian plane Joseph thought was at least a place where they had actual places to sit and relax instead of spot to cram ones body into the smallest and most uncomfortable position possible and hope he did not have to extract himself quickly in an emergency. Flying to Louisville, just there. This will be the last time I fly, Joseph promised himself. Or at least it would be the last time for the next year. 'Ok no flying for the next two months...' Even Joseph could not lie to himself about where he might be flying next, especially since he wanted to travel a bit not that he had no where to go, and no where to be for the next couple of months. "Here I come." "Excuse me Sergeant?" "Ah, nothing just talking to myself." Joseph said. I think at least." adding that very last part quietly to himself. Picking up his feet quickly Joseph set out towards the Airports terminal. It was set off apart from the rest of the Airport for security and safety reasons. One could not land one the military's huge behemoths of a plane in a commercial Airport without the locals and civilian passengers a bit nervous so close to all the other regular airlines. Entering the chaos that is called airports always had a way of setting Joseph on edge, he wasn't sure if it was the throngs of people or just the whole airport regime as a whole. Too many laxes in even the remotest securities was dangerous but airports seemed to have made it an art of catastrophe. From the lazy terminal security guards, to the inadequate luggage scanners. Although Joseph did have one thing that did not annoy him in Airports. Moving sidewalks. God bless them Joseph would think. It actually meant he could move even faster through and away from the throngs of people. That is unless people got onto them and just stood. He knew they were for that exact reason. It was for tired passengers to stand on and get from one point to the other, but no not Joseph. It was to propel himself along the airport at a speed his feet could not achieve unless he was running. The Last Letter Ch. 02 Since it was almost the middle of the night here though, he had free reign of the lovely moving sidewalks. Walking at a brisk pace that would easily amount to sprinting if not for the aid of the moving floor he as using. Getting to the terminal where his plane was taking off he quickly exited the sidewalk stumbling into a flight attendant who was walking towards the counter as well. As Joseph started to fall towards the carpeted ground he quickly found his feet dropping the bags in his hands to gain a better balance. Embracing the very thin but almost lithe woman in his arms keeping her from face planting into what would surely have been a very bad nose bleed. Making sure she had her footing, high heels could make even the slightest of disturbances a very hard task to do in them. He pulled his arms from around her waist as he quickly turned about and began to give him a cold glare. "Sorry mam, I was not paying attention to my own feet I guess." Joseph quickly taking another step back from what he now saw was a very blond, very blue eyed, and slightly tan young woman. Her blue uniform of a stewardess, going very well with her hair up in a bun having two long strands left out from the bun to be tucked behind her almost pointed elf ears. "I truly didn't mean to try running you over mam, honestly." he quickly added, as he grimaced at his thoughtlessness "It's ok Sir." the young woman said to him as she saw the honesty of his expression on his face. "Sergeant Blackmoore mam, Sir's are paper pushers." he smiled just slightly, knowing it would most likely be lost on the young woman. "Yes, but non-comm are the gorillas." she quickly quipped back to the young man before her. "Or at least that is what my uncle would call them." she winked to him as his mouth slowly gaped open, the slammed shut as he nodded his head in submission. "Yes mam, ooga ooga." he grunted back to her. "I'm Joanne Wattley, Sergeant. Apology accepted, and don't worry I know you had to have some brains to get your rank." She smiled to take the sting out of the remark as she held out her hand. "Joseph Blackmoore, it's a pleasure to run into you..." Joseph said as he tried out a pun that was just dying to be used. Taking his hand in her own and giving her a firm, but very tender handshake. "Oh-god! For the love of airports, that was a bad one you know right?" "Yeah, yeah I know. But I couldn't let it slip once it I knew it would stink up the building." Joanne's lilting laughter was almost musical as what he thought an elf's would be. He quickly pondered as he chuckled if she was one. She was as he first noticed thin, but not in a way he would consider unattractive, but almost in an elegant way. Her face held a classic beauty that had a striking resemblance to the actress he had saw in some movie recently Scarlett Johansson. "So are you on this flight, Joseph?" "Yep, flying home to the states. Hopefully making it to a wedding in time." "Wedding? So the dashing Sergeant has a woman waiting at the alter?" "No, no." He quickly replied, "My childhood friend Joy's. In Louisville, Kentucky but going through Chicago for another flight to there." Joanne nodded to him as she bent down and picked up her small traveling bag, while Joseph bent and picked his own bags up from the floor. He noticed though that she never took her eyes away from him as they moved. Standing she turned around and looked over her shoulder at him, giving a quick follow him a head tilt of her head for him to catch up. "Your in luck then, I am on that flight as well. But in a working way." she smiled as he quick stepped to her side as they headed towards the departing gate. They quickly made their way over to the woman checking in the passengers with tickets to the flight. Joanne smiled as she quickly helped the woman and Joseph through the process, then as they finished she led him away from the counter and over to the seats. "You go ahead and wait for the boarding call, I will see ya on the plane." she smiled as Joseph nodded and sat down in one of the many vacant seats in their gates waiting area. "Thanks for the help Joanne, I really appreciate it." "You just make sure to get on when they call the first class of the tickets hun, and we will get ya a good seat." With that not even allowing him to respond she smiled turned and headed directly to the gate, and through the long hall connecting the building to the plane. Just shaking his head, he smiled to her back as he watched her lithe form walking away from him. She may have been a small woman, but she still had some curves. And from behind, Joseph noticed they were in the right spots. With another head shake he leaned back and turned his eyes to the rest of the waiting area, and saw who else was sitting there with him. It was a really empty flight he though as he saw only a handful of people around him, perhaps eight in all including him. Maybe more would show up, but with about fifteen minutes to go he seriously doubted it would be that many. Leaning back into the seat he closes his eyes as he slowly goes over the last few days. His thoughts run lazily through a last night as he remembers all the guys trying to get him to drink more than was humanly possible. They were good men, every single one of them. He was sure of it, every one of them he would trust his very life with. His smile slowly fell from his face though as his mind began to turn to times further back into his memory, to the dud land mine, then to seeing a man he had known since boot camp die as a mortar took his body and made it into something unrecognizable and almost pulpy. "First Class passengers for flight 234 are boarding now. Please make your way to the gate with your ticket." came over the intercom. Joseph quickly standing up and walking towards the gate looked around as he saw only one other following him towards the gate. "Small flight indeed." he said quietly to himself, before getting into earshot of the woman waiting to take tickets. "Your ticket sir?" the woman asked as he stood in front of her. Giving it over to her he smiled a grin as she looked at his ticket, and then back up. "Joanne said you would be upgrading sir. Thank you and have a nice flight." "Thank you." Joseph walked quickly down the long enclosed walk way towards the plane. The white painted walls going by him as he took a left and was suddenly facing the planes main door, and a the young woman with an impish smile winking at him. "Ah so we meet again dear Joseph, it has been really far to long." "Like an eternity of rain, without thy fair beauty." "Fair beauty?!" She mockingly chided Joseph "I'll have you know I am not Fair in any sense of the word." "Ah, my lips seem to be moving without my brain in accordance with them. I meant to say thy ravishing beauty." "Oh... Is that so. Well flattery will get you everywhere with me." Joseph could not help but smile at Joanne as they spoke, it was just too hard he thought with her charm to do anything but. Joanne for her own part could not help but return his wide grin. Taking his elbow with her tiny hand she waved over one of the other flight attendants to take over as she turned right and pulled him along to the nicer section of the plane. "I switched with another one of the attendants so I am up here with you. Although looking at the flight papers, its you and me here. I am guessing this flight will be costing more to the company than anything else. We have I think a total of nine passengers tonight and now only one first class." she mused quietly to him. Stopping at a row in the middle of the aisles she points to the doubles on the left and nudges him into the window seat. "You know you didn't have to do this Joanne, I kinda feel bad now with running into you and then taking advantage of your oh so generous ravishing, dazzling charms and beauty." he said quietly with a warm and almost mischievous smile on his face. "Like I said, flattery will get you everywhere. Now you just sit and relax while I get everything settled for the flight." With a warm smile again, Joanne turns away from Joseph leaving him to his settling into the very big and luxurious chair. Looking out the window into the dark night sky he opens his bag and pulls the framed picture of four of the Terrible Five from it. Then looking down at the picture he smiles to himself, just seeing the wide grins and shakes his head in wonder. 'What was it we were smiling about so much for that simple picture.' Not knowing what it was, nor if he would ever again remember it he sighed. So much easier Joseph thought as he felt lost in his own head. Joseph slowly began to slip back further into his memories again tonight as he pondered if those smiles would ever be as easy to give or have so much innocence to them. Joseph tuned out the captains voice as it came over the intercom giving the usually speech of thanking the passengers and telling them their flight schedules. "Lost smiles." Joseph whispered. It was one of the things he talked about with Emily. Lost smiles an growing up. On many of the nights he would take her out they always found themselves talking about how their youths were, and the differences from being an army brat, and an engineers son. So many lost smiles, he could remember. It was growing up Joseph always thought that made smiles so much more hard to read, and infinitely to trust. The jarring of the plane only served to push Joseph deeper into his thoughts as he slid from memory to memory. Some being from his childhood, but the predominant number of them being to the men and women her served with as and had come to know them as a family all of their own. Almost fifteen minutes had passed by as Joseph held the picture in his hand but did not truly look at it. More of staring into the background as his thoughts wondered about. Joanne quietly walking down the aisle stopped next to his saying something to him, but Joseph was not truly there. His body sitting, but his mind thousands of miles away. "Joseph." Joanne said quietly as he lightly shook his shoulder. Coming to Joseph shook his head slightly clearing the thoughts away. "Sorry, was just thinking a bit." "No worries, I figured that when my lets see what did you call it? Ravishing dazzling, all to pure of heart looks did not break into your reverie." She smiled to take any sting that could have been incurred with her comment out. "Yep, although you forgot Mother Theresa like qualities of patience and empathy." he chuckled as his words brought a light pink shade to her cheeks. Not able to stop there though he finished with, "So the elf does have some vanity?" quirking his eyebrows in a silly fashion as he grinned warmly to her. "So thats what you have been thinking I see? Elf? I am not sure if I would qualify for that. But thank you for your very sweet words." Her hand lightly rests on his right hand as she gives it a gentle squeeze. "So do you want to tell me where you were just now or talk about why you were there?" With a shake of his head he smiles in return and gives her a gentle squeeze of the hand. "I'm not really sure where I was actually. Kinda all over the place with my thoughts, I just finished my term with the Army at midnight. So now I am kinda in a haze of thoughts and memories." "Oh how long were you in for?" "Eight years pretty much." "Ah ok, so pretty long then huh? So who's in the picture your holding?" Looking down at the picture, that was being held in his right hand he smiles at how he forgot he even still held it. "That's four of the Terrible Five, or so called by our parents." he says, pointing to each one of them he tells Joanne their names. "Joy, Luke, Alissa, and... Isabelle." he smiles as he looks almost sad as he says the last girls name. Then giving Joanne a brief detailed account of who was who and who was related to who. "Ah so who is Isabelle?" she asks staring into his eyes when he looks back up at her. "She was my first crush, from the first time I knew her to the very last time I saw her I was in love with her. Pretty much someone I considered my unicorn." with the understanding nod of his head, he smiles thankful someone understands what he means. "So, is she going to be at the wedding?" Joanne asks. "Yeah, although I haven't seen her for a couple of years. When I left for boot camp it was kinda strange. I spent the day with my family and the Mackenzie's as well as Isabelle. But she never really said much. She just was there, you know? But when I left she wouldn't say anything she ran into the house crying. I wanted to say something but then I was just some skinny kid who had no clue how to handle anything like I was in." "So you didn't kiss her goodbye?" Joanne asks quietly, seeming to have more insight that Joseph into what had happened. "Not a chance, I didn't kiss a girl till I was nineteen and a year fully into the army. I mean I wasn't naive in that kind of way, well maybe I was. But my life experiences with the fairer species was a bit limited till after I joined and met other women." "That poor girl Joseph, I mean jeez you could have kissed her and made it so romantic like that poster of those soldiers from world war two kissing the girls in the middle of the huge parade. Though I guess not everything is like the movies though." Joanne leaned back into he seat sighing quietly as she watched Joseph nod his head in sadness. "Would go back and do a thousand things differently if I could... But I can't so I guess it just has to be." "Yeah I guess so. So tell me, what are you going to do when you see her at the wedding? Are you going to be all military man when you go to the church?" Nodding his head, Joseph explains. "Yeah I will be in exactly what I am wearing now. I am not exactly sure though what I will do when I see her, she is a part of the bridal party. Not sure how lucky I am though, because to me it is awfully strange how Joy's wedding day is the day after somewhat with the time changes and all I get out of the Army. But knowing that little minx it was cooked up eight years ago." "Well with your uniform she will probably be drooling anyways, I know I am..." she smirks with a mocking grin as she noticeably licks her lips, then continues "All women love a man in uniform." "You just remember Joseph, how well us women plan things... This Joy woman sounds like one after my own heart. If you even suspect that she was planning her wedding like this, I bet your right." "But planning it for what? I had originally thought it was some grand scheme she was cooking up to get Isabelle and I together, but since it has been I think five years since I last saw her... I mean I know I have dated, and through the grapevine I know she has... but..." Joseph shrugs his shoulders as he looks thoughtfully down at their hands still holding together, he looks back up and smiles to Joanne not pulling his hand away. She smiles as well but does not make a comment either. "All I know is things have a way of working out, they always do. Now whether they are for good, bad or just in between..." She trails off as she gives a slight shrug of her shoulders.