0 comments/ 12591 views/ 1 favorites The Exhibitionist Ch. 01-08 By: fantac64 Note: Due to some unfortunate errors, there has been a lot of confusion about the story so rather than screw around, I'm re-posting the story in blocks of about 8 chapters as bi-sexual. I hope this ends the confusion and thanks for staying with me. Chapters 1 through 8 Chapter 1 It had been a rotten week with car problems, hubby problems and now the freaking washer wouldn't start. And talk about terrible timing, I had four large loads to do because I wasted six hours getting the damned car fixed. Facing the reticent appliance, I made my feelings crystal clear. "You miserable, worthless son-of-a-bitch, if money wasn't so tight I'd replace both of you." Facing the daunting task of dragging at least half of the clothes to the Laundromat, I headed for the kitchen, wearing nothing but my very sheer panties and sleep bra. Thank god the coffee was ready and I was too. I jumped and made a silly attempt to cover myself when someone knocked at the back door. Whoever it was had already had time to see me nearly naked so it was a bit late to conceal anything. "Are you home, Cin?" I felt my body relax as I went to let my best friend in. Lexi and our friend Melanie, or Mel, have been my friends since fourth grade and are the only ones in the world that are allowed to call me Cin, a name I despise due to the evil way it was used against me in school. I unlocked the door and stepped away so no one else could see my state of un-dress. "Your timing is excellent, as always," I said. "I just poured my first cup." "Love the outfit," she said, with a smile, as she stepped in to give me a hug. "You've seen me in less," I pointed out. "Yeah, but not this close," she said. "What's the occasion for getting all dressed up?" "I planned on getting a load of clothes started before I showered, but the damned washer is broke again. I get the dryer fixed and the washer breaks. It's a vicious cycle." "First your car, and now this," she said, as she accepted the coffee I offered and sat across from me. "No shit, I said, "and the bank account is almost gone. I swear, I know he doesn't want me to go back to work but damn it, he just isn't bringing in enough to take care of emergencies like this, and I just got the credit cards all paid off. God, I hate to use them again but I'm going to have to." "Remember when you could buy a new washer and dryer for about three hundred?" she asked. "That won't even buy you a decent dryer now," I said. "I know," she said. "Why not bring those over to my place to do them? There's no sense going to the Laundromat when you can do them at my place and we can chat or whatever while you do them." "I don't want to tie up your day," I said, "and it's not that bad. I just read between loads." "I don't have any plans anyway, Cin, and you can read at my place just as well. There's nothing on television worth watching. Of course, we can always watch a video and have fun together." "We both know the answer to that," I said. We had long since accepted the fact that we were both bi-curious, but at the same time, we knew we were not free to explore that curiosity since we were married and happily so. The closest we had ever been was on the two occasions where we wound up masturbating together. It wasn't planned in either instance and we accepted the fact that it could go no further. . Chapter 2 By the time we loaded everything up, drove to her house and lugged it all inside, we were worn out but I had no time to linger. With the first load started, I sorted the balance of the clothes and went to get something cold to drink. "You know," I told her, "I'm almost ready to risk Tim's disappointment and go find a job. Even part time would be enough to make a huge difference in our finances and it's not like we have kids or anything, although there are times when I wish he would change his mind about that too." ""I guess I'm lucky," she said. "When the company sold out, Troy wound up with a promotion and a nice raise from the new owners. Tim didn't get that lucky. The outfit he went with is really cheap." "Yeah," I said. "It really sucks. He works harder, puts in more hours, and still isn't making what he made two years ago. He loves the fact that I'm a good money manager but if there's nothing there to manage there's not a lot I can do. Now, I have to go back in debt for a new washer and the refrigerator is about to die too.." "I don't know how you get by with that apartment sized fridge you have," she said. "I hate to give up on it. It's only nine years old," I said, sarcastically. "Yeah, but you bought it used," she said. "I might see what I can do to replace them both at the same time." I said. "Gee, Cin, you only need two or three grand to catch a breath. I'll get it from my cheap skate for you...oh wait, he doesn't have but about ten bucks or so. Sorry." "No problem," I said. "I wouldn't take it from you anyway. Can I use your computer to see what kind of deal I can find? I might as well have some numbers to show Tim when he comes home from work." "Sure," she said, "I'll have to show you where it is now because the ass hole moved it so I couldn't see what he was doing." "Sounds like something Tim would do," I said."He works hard to keep me from knowing what he does but the truth is that I really don't give a damn. I'm sure he's into some porn but if he is, it isn't stopping me from getting laid once or twice a month if he doesn't have to go fishing or play golf or cards or whatever." "Sometimes quality is better than quantity," she said. "Strike two," I said, "Have you got anything else to offer?" She was laughing so hard, she started choking. "That's what I thought," I said. "Oh well. As long as the batteries hold out on the toys, I can do just fine." The washer stopped so I went to change loads, got another iced tea and went back into the den. "Let's go see what's on sale at some of the appliance centers," I said. She led me to what used to be a third bedroom but was now his "office." It was piled high with magazines and papers. Nudies plastered the walls and several pairs of her panties hung from several points. "No wonder I don't have any panties," she said. "Are you sure they're yours?" I asked. "Even he isn't that stupid," she said. "He'd never know what hit him." I sat down at the computer and before I could even touch the keyboard, the screen came to life. "Oops. Sorry," she said. "I forgot that with the new internet set up, he never turns it off." "No, but it turns him on," I said, pointing to the screen, where a slender blonde was getting a huge cock up her ass. "Fucking jerk," she said, reaching for the keyboard. "No, wait," I said. "Let's see what else gets him hard." We went through several of his "favorites" and got some laughs out of the really absurd ones but also found our panties getting wet as we checked out some of the better ones. As I went from one tlo another I happened on one that was all amateurs that posted their own videos and photo sets. Some of them were so hot that I sent them to my computer. I just had to get home and encrypt the information before he got home, although he probably already had it on his computer since the two of them do so much together. As I was getting ready to click out of it, she put her hand on my arm and pointed. In the left margin were several ads for contests and models wanted. Of course, everyone knows that what they're looking for isn't models; it's performers for their sex videos. "Check that last one out," she said. "They're looking for models for their bondage contest. No professionals, amateurs only. First prize is fifteen hundred dollars. Any of those prizes would pay for a new washer," she said. "First prize would get you a whole new laundry room or a washer and a fridge." "Have you lost your freaking mind?" I asked her. "First of all, I'm not getting naked in front of some photographer or camera man I don't even know, and second of all, I'm not getting tied up like that so forget it. Look at some of those poses. I couldn't twist my body into those positions and I damned sure wouldn't do it naked. Look at what they show. I mean I can almost look into those pussies and some of those cocks would rip me right up the middle. You can do it if you want, but I'm not interested." "You don't have to perform in the movies to win the contest. Just enter the one for photos. It's for amateurs only and there are several categories," she said. "Do they have one for out of shape older women," I asked. "In a way," she said. "They have one for mature women." "I didn't say mature, I said out of shape," I told her. "I just thought you might want to think about it," she said. "Well, you thought wrong," I said. The only problem was, that I did want to think about it and the thought of being on display like that was making me wet. It was a side of me that had been locked away since long before I got married. The truth is that I'd always been somewhat of an exhibitionist and loved the thrill of others, especially strangers, seeing me naked. I wasn't so sure about naked and tied up though and some of those poses were downright pornographic. I still had memories of the firestorm of criticism I'd generated when someone revealed to my family that I was baring my breasts to passing motorists and skinny dipping on White's beach. That had been before I even met Tim and I could only imagine what the reaction would be from our families and friends if I were to do it again. I also didn't want to test Tim's jealousy or possessiveness. On top of all that, my parents had become a lot more religious and would never accept that kind of conduct. I went ahead and ordered a new washer and put it on a credit card. It was just one more thing to try to get paid off, but at least I could keep the laundry up and they would deliver within forty-eight hours.. When I told Tim about it that night, he was a real sweetheart. He knew I'd reached the end of my rope and it was about to snap. "Give me another three months," he said. "If we're still struggling, I'll agree to you going back to work but I won't like it." I couldn't argue with him. He felt bad enough that he couldn't bring enough money home to insure that I'd never have to go back to work again. He really is a nice guy and a man I loved more with every passing day. Chapter 3 The next day, I made sure the doors were locked and went to check out that web site. When it came up, it asked for his password. I just smiled and went to get the slip of scrap paper where I had jotted down the passwords to several of Troy's sights. When she had left me alone for few minutes to get us more drinks, I'd looked into a small notebook that was on his desk. Bingo. I didn't have much time so I wrote like a crazy woman. I'd wound up with fourteen that I could check out, including this one. I typed it in and waited and a couple of seconds later it came up. For almost an hour I scrolled the photos on the site, making notes of what I liked, what I didn't like and what I might be able to do if I ever decided to explore that secret side of me. Almost by accident, I saw something I had completely overlooked. Right at the top of the screen was a search bar that linked to contest rules, on-line entry forms, links to information pages, and the link that made me smile. Videos. It was right next to the one I was on called galleries. I got up and peed and got another glass of tea, along with a couple of my favorite toys and some lube. "This might turn out to be a special day," I thought. Back in my chair, I added a second towel before sitting down. Then I clicked on the video tab. "Oh my god," I moaned as the first twelve options flashed on the screen. I looked the thumbnails over and selected one that looked pretty mild. Boy, if that was mild, I was in for a long, tiring afternoon. In retrospect, I guess it was pretty lame but the poor girl was being fucked in several very uncomfortable positions and I winced as the dildo was shoved up her ass rather roughly. When she screamed, I came, and when she came from the anal fucking she got, I came again. I had to pause after the first video to catch my breath. Before I started the next video, I took some time to allow my body to stop quivering and then I saw a tab that said amateur contest videos. Now that most definitely piqued my interest. Chapter 4 Restocked with drink and fresh towels, I returned to my project. Without even realizing it, I was making an emotional commitment to at the very least give bondage some serious thought. I knew that I'd tarried too long when I heard Tim's car pull into the garage. I quickly cleared away the evidence of my adventures and closed the site down before deleting the history files. When he came in, I was reading a new fashion magazine. "Your mail is on the desk," I said. "The car insurance is due and the home equity will be due in two weeks. Are you sure you want to wait that long before I go back to work honey, I hate knowing that you're working your ass off just to keep us out of bankruptcy." "I know, honey," he said, coming over to kiss me. "I just want to at least know that I did my best." "Honey," I said, leaping up to wrap my arms around him and drown him in kisses. "You've always done your best and I love you for it. I'll keep waiting, but I'm going to be looking around to see what's available at least on a part time basis." We ate slowly that night, not saying a lot because I knew he was disappointed and I didn't want to upset him. After dinner I poured some brandy for us and followed him into the office. "I was over at Troy and Lexi's doing laundry the other day, honey." Yeah, I know," he said. "He called me at work and said you ripped off his password book and he had to get another one and start all over." "He is so full of shit," I said. "When I left, it was right where he left it under that ceramic nude tit cup he keeps his pens in. What the hell would I want it for any way? If I want to watch some porn, I'll get my own damned passwords or find yours." "I don't..." he started to say, but I cut him off. "Tim," I said, "don't insult my intelligence by trying to convince me that you don't watch any porn. In the first place, you and Rich were watching some chick take it up the ass the other night when he was here. I stood at the door and watched it too for awhile. I don't care, honey, I really don't. Watch it all you want, but don't feel that you have to sneak around to do it. I might even watch it with you once in a while and maybe we'll both get lucky." He grinned at me and smacked me hard on my ass. After the initial sting, it felt good. "Okay,okay," he said, "I admit it. I've got a few sites I really like." "Would you show me a couple? I asked. He opened the first one, a mixed site of all different kinds of videos, and we watched a well hung guy get his nuts blown, and on another site, we watched a woman get hammered by a huge cock. The next site he opened was the one I'd been on all day but I didn't dare reveal that to him. "I like this one because the women have such loud, intense orgasms," he said. I chose one I hadn't watched and asked if we could watch that one. The woman was tied into a ball, with her pussy and anus available to anyone that wanted it. She was spanked, caned, and paddled till her ass glowed bright red, and then she was fucked in both holes. Just as I thought it was over, two other women came in and really fucked her hard with strap-ons, but then they used a big vibrator on her and she had the loudest, and strongest orgasm I'd ever seen, and they kept the vibe on her until she'd come several hard times, with her body shaking violently with every orgasm. "Wow," I said, wiping sweat from my face and neck. I looked down and his pants were open and his cock was hard as a rock. "Don't you dare waste that on masturbation, Tim Randolph," I said. Ripping my clothes off to climb over him, I lowered my pussy down over his cock as he leaned back. I started to give him a rigorous fucking, moving through three orgasms, but he just couldn't seem to come so I told him to start another video he liked and I got off his lap to turn around with my back to him as we watched the video and fucked each other silly until he came in me, with his come dribbling onto the carpet. "Come to bed, honey," I said, "I think I can make you come one more time." I did my best with a blowjob of all blow jobs and getting fucked in every position I could think of and I finally gave up. I'd had several really strong orgasms but the only one he had was to the sounds of a red head getting fucked in both holes at the same time. Still, I got what I needed and he at least got a good one. He apologized over and over but I assured him he'd done me just fine. As I tried to get to sleep, I wondered if I could have done that with cameras rolling or not. "Probably not," I decided, but if that was the case, why was that image running in my mind over and over. I slept fitfully and in the morning, I resolved to find a way to make my mind go blank before I went to sleep, and it was not going to be easy to do. Chapter 5 At breakfast that next morning, Tim kissed me and thanked me for being open minded about the porn and for what had happened as a result. I kissed him back in a way that showed my appreciation and told him we'd have to work on his other problem again soon. I cleared away the breakfast dishes and waited for him to leave so I could call Lexi. "I need to talk to you," I said. "Are you going to be home or would you rather come over here?" "I've got to go out for a while, but I should be headed for home about noon. How about we get together for lunch?" "That works for me." I said. "I have some turkey salad and some tomato basil bread I can toast." "That sounds great," she said "I'll be there right about noon." After all the sex from the previous day and night, you'd think I would be so totally satisfied that sex was the last thing on my mind, but as I sipped my coffee, I couldn't think of anything else. There were some realizations as a result of watching the videos. For one thing, I quickly realized that getting naked on camera wasn't going to happen with a stranger behind the camera. I also came to the conclusion that no one, man or woman would ever tie me up naked and abuse my body in the way they treated their women on the videos, even if a lot of it was faked. You can't fake bloody streaks where the whips hit over and over in the same spot, and you can't fake that many tears. It just wasn't going to happen in my world, and for whatever reason, I felt terribly disappointed. I tackled the obligatory housework and laundry as my mind seemed to be confused and disjointed about something. Unfortunately, I seemed unable to identify the cause and now, I was wondering if I even wanted to know. Glancing at the clock, I saw that l had to start getting lunch ready. I changed into some pedal pushers and a blouse, ran a brush through my hair, and headed for the kitchen. She was smiling when she got there and I opened my arms to embrace her, kissing her on her cheek. "So what's up, sister?" she asked. "Give me a minute to find what I did with my mind." I said. "You've been watching the videos haven't you?" she asked "Yeah," I said, "and now I can't get my head on straight." "I knew that was going to happen," she said. "You're remembering the thrills you got from doing the exhibitionist stuff." "Yeah, but I was only a kid then," I said, as I absent mindedly swirled my coffee around the cup. "I wasn't married then or even dating seriously. I still caught hell but it didn't bother me like it would now." The Exhibitionist Ch. 01-08 "So what is it that you're trying to accomplish?" she asked. "You're beating yourself up about it and at the same time, you're saying you can't do it now." "Silly, isn't it?" I asked. "So why is it bothering me?". "Just because you can't," she said. "You still want to." "I suppose," I said. "Have you ever thought about bondage?" "I've done it," she said. "What about it?" "Just curious about how it feels," I said. "You have to experience it for yourself," she said, "but I enjoy it with Troy in control. So where are you going with this?" "Nowhere, really, not yet anyway." "Did something happen last night to get you all sexed up like this?" she asked. "You might say that," I said. "So are you going to tell me about it or just tease me?" "Oh my god, Lexi," I said, "I was watching the site with Tim when I noticed he had a monster hard on. I stripped naked and jumped his bones and we both came hard. He still had a hard on so I took him to bed and fucked him silly for over an hour but he couldn't come again." "That sounds like heaven to me," she said. "You'd think so, wouldn't you?" I asked. "I got all the sex I could stand and I still felt like I failed him." "Honey, you didn't fail him. He's just watched that shit for so long and jerked off to it so often that he can't come without it. Take your sex and let him worry about it." "The problem is that I get so hot watching it that I'm wearing my toys and fingers out." "Then stop watching them so much," she said. "Is there one that bothers you more than the others?" "Not really," I said. "Maybe the lesbian bondage sight simply because the orgasms are almost tortuous and exhausting. Tim really blows his nuts on that one." "I think there are two separate issues at work here, Cindy," she said. "What the hell are you talking about" I asked. "Before I answer that, be sure you really want to know because you may not agree with me and you might be sorry you asked." "Oh for god's sake, Lexi," I said, "spit it out or stop chewing with your mouth open. You're not making any sense." She got up and came around to sit next to me, taking my hands in hers. "Cindy, listen to me," she said. "There are things that I have accepted about myself that you haven't and may not be able to." "You know," I said, "the more you talk the less sense you make." "I'm trying to be delicate and careful about what I say and how say it," she said. "Just spit it out before you get indigestion," I said. I'm a big girl, I can handle it." I wasn't at all sure I wanted to face the truth according to Lexi but she wasn't going to leave It lie and neither was I. " Can you promise me you won't get mad at me?" "I guess," I said. "I can always leave the room if I think you've lost your freaking mind." "It's up to you, Cindy," she said. "It doesn't matter to me either way but if you see for yourself why you're bothered by the videos, other than the fact that they make you horny, you can either enjoy them more or refuse to watch certain ones." "Okay, the truth is," I said, "that I'm not sure I can trust myself to know," I said. "What? You can't trust yourself around me?" Since when?" "Since we saw that fucking web site," I said. "Never mind. I just have to stop Looking at it and forget the whole freaking thing. It's just not worth it," She stood and came around the table to work her fingers into my shoulders. "That's not the answer honey, and we both know it." she said, "Let's try something," she said, as she continued her massage. "When you watch the video we both liked, what is it that bothers you the most about it?" "Everything," I said. "Now close your eyes and imagine that you are watching it. What is happening?" "The guy is using a cane on her," I said. "She's crying and he isn't stopping. He just moves from one part of her body to another, leaving red streaks over her whole body." "Keep watching," she said. "He's done with the cane, so what's he doing now?" "He's fucking her from behind," I said. "God, he's hammering her." "Is she coming?" "Yes, but he still keeps fucking her. Now he's using that vibrator on her and she's screaming to make him stop because she can't control the orgasms." "Are they intense?" she asked. "Oh my god yes," I said. "She's crying and coming again." "Okay, that's enough," she said. "Now let's try the lesbian one. What is the one thing that you notice about the scene?" "The expressions on her face," I said. "The pain from the nipple clamps and clit clamps, the fear and pain from the cane and the crop." "What else?" she asked. "The orgasms. She's fucked everywhere and then she's restrained while that big black vibe makes her come and come and keep coming until she can't speak. "Okay, take a few deep breaths and relax," she said. "I'll get us something to drink." Chapter 6 "Okay," she said, after I'd had a few sips of the sports drink she brought me. "Tell me about the guy in the first video." "He's big, probably a body builder, dark hair and he's wearing black exercise pants." "What color are his eyes? She asked. "Hell I don't know," I said. "I wasn't looking at his eyes." "Was his cock hard?" she asked. "Probably, I don't know," I said. "Now describe the girl," she said. "Young, beautiful, clean shaven with a swollen clit. Probably 38D or bigger, large aureola, very erect dark brown nipples." Okay," she said, "now, let's think about the lesbian one. Describe one of the women." "Well, the victim, I guess I'll call her, is young, maybe early to mid twenties with long dark hair that's in a ponytail. It's hard to describe her eyes because of the strain she's under. They're probably sky blue but right now they're almost black because of the passion of the situation. She's not very tall, maybe five-five or six, slender, with a nice hard ass and her tits are either a very full B or C but I couldn't tell you how big they are because of the bondage she's in. I can't tell from this particular pose, but I do know she either shaves or is waxed completely." "Okay, now the other one," she said. "Tall, dark hair tied back, brown eyes, slender, definitely a C cup with some of the longest nipples I've seen for a while. She's bare too, with a well defined, hard ass, and long legs." "Okay, you can open your eyes now. Thinking back to the video itself, what is there about this video that would make you watch it again and again?" "It's a powerful video," I said. "with some of the strongest, loudest orgasms I've ever watched or heard. God, that poor girl was twisting and shaking and vibrating like a harp string. I could almost feel every pain she felt, every stressful orgasmic delay, and every release." " Now think back to when we saw that first video on our computer. What did you do after you got home?" "I couldn't do anything that night because Tim was on his way home but the next day I spent nearly six hours watching it." "Why?" she asked. "Was it the bondage or the nudity?" "I think it was either directly or indirectly the bondage and the orgasms that could be brought on because the women couldn't get away from the toys or devices they used on them. I don't think I really want to be tied up that tight but I don't know. I think it might be awesome to be tied up and controlled but not in those kinds of bondage." "Do you realize that you've answered all of your own questions?" she asked. "How do you figure?" I asked. "First of all, when you remembered the first video you barely noticed the man that was brutally abusing the girl, although you could define the abuse pretty well, and you gave me a pretty detailed description of the girl." "So? What does that tell you, doctor?" I asked.. "Two separate issues are working on your mind. It's only normal that in watching the videos, certain memories of your younger years would be brought out and when you combine that with certain curiosities, your mind tries to sort them both out at the same time and it just can't." "So how am I supposed to separate them," I asked. "You don't necessarily have to separate them," she said, "but you need to identify them and accept them before you can work on controlling them." "I'm listening," I said. "When did you first realize that your curiosity about being with another woman was more than just a curiosity?" "Why do you think it is?" I asked. "Let me reword the question," she said. "When was the first time you realized that you wanted to make love to me?" "Whoa," I said, "where did that come from? Something has been chewing pieces out of your brain," I said. "Just because we watch each other masturbate doesn't mean I'm bi or les." "Listen to me, honey," she said. "When you answered those questions, the one thing I noticed is how many details you could talk about when it came to the women but you couldn't tell what color the man's eyes were. You had no problem at all describing a woman's pussy or her ass, or her tits in full detail. Honey, there is nothing to be ashamed of to be bi. I think I've always been bi, but I never realized how much until I started watching the videos." "That's you," I said. "It doesn't mean that I am." "It doesn't mean you're not into cock, honey, it just means that your curiosity has been getting stronger and whether you want to admit it or not, you have been wanting to make love to me for a while now." "It's just fantasies," I said. "No," she said, "they were fantasies, but not now, and that's what's really bothering you. You want to but you can't, and it's frustrating." "I hope you're done psycho-analyzing me now," I said. "How much do I owe you?" "Honey, please listen to me carefully, "she said. "It's all right. I've wanted you for over a year. That's why know what's going on in your mind. We both want it but we can't have what we want because we both respect our marriage vows. Think about it," "Okay," I said, "let's assume your right about my sexual orientation and the fact that I want you, which I'm not ready to face yet. That explains why I was fixating on certain videos, but you said that I had more than one demon to face. What were you talking about?" "Exhibitionism and bondage," she said. "You feel frustrated here as well,because you don't know how to satisfy that need to expose yourself, and even though bondage fascinates you, that curiosity frightens you because you're not sure you're willing to submit to that much loss of control." I didn't reply for a few minutes because she had me nailed. Why hadn't I been able to see it for myself? "So how do I address those demons?" I asked. "I mean it's not like Tim is about to help me with any of them and actually might be really pissed if he finds out I'm exploring either one of them." "What if you could explore them enough to find out just how far you want to go without anyone actually seeing you do it?" she asked. "What if you could bare it all with a lot of people watching?" "I'd love to be able to do it if I didn't think Tim or the families would ever find out," I said. "I really can't explain it because I don't understand it myself. It's just something that gives me a thrill like nothing else I've ever experienced, a sort of a free feeling." "Okay, then let's talk about the bondage. Do you want to learn more and explore the possibilities, or do you want to just forget it and decide that maybe being controlled isn't interesting to you after all?" I closed my eyes and my mind began to wander. I told her I needed a potty break and headed for the bathroom where I could attempt to focus on the challenges at hand. I was perfectly willing to go through with whatever she was planning for me, but I had Tim's feelings to consider too, and what if our families or friends found out? Was I ready to face that possibility? And then there was the other. I was Bi and there was no sense in denying it but just how strong were those feelings? She was right when she said I'd been wanting her too. Oh god, there were times when I wanted to throw her to the floor and rip her clothes off. When I went back, she'd poured us each some fresh coffee and put out breakfast bars. "I'm not sure about the bondage issue," I said. I'll have to get back to you on that." "Now for the biggie," she said, looking me right in the eyes. "I think you know that you're bi-sexual now but what are you going to do about it. You can't just pretend it isn't true." "I've been denying it for all these years," I said, "why can't I continue to do so?" "You can't deny it," she said. "You don't have to act on it, but you can't deny who and what you are. Why don't you open your mind to it and learn more about it.?" "And I'm sure you're just the one to educate me," I said, sarcastically. "Actually no, I'm not," she said, "but I can recommend some books and web sites" I think that accepting being it being open about my desires calmed me some and let me be who I truly am for the first time in a long time. I'd faced the demons and taken control of them to some extent and being bi-sexual didn't have to be a stressful situation after all. I was bi-sexual and that was no longer a ghost that lingered just out of reach. "Let's talk about the exhibitionism," I said. "I can handle that the easiest." "You said you wanted to explore it," she said, "and thanks to the internet, there is way to do that without anyone knowing it." "I'm sure there is," I said, "but if you think I'm going to pose naked on the internet, you're crazy. It's one thing to expose myself in the car or something like that and a completely different thing to consider on the internet. I can control who my audience is to an extent in the first but not on the second. Don't you think there is more than a little possibility that one of our guys or a family member or one of our friends is going to see that?" "Yes and no," she said. "Do you have any scars or blemishes I don't know about?" "Maybe I should strip and you can examine me to see for yourself," I said, and immediately I knew it was the wrong thing to say. "I wish," she said. "All I'm saying is that there are wigs and contacts and temporary tattoos, even temporary blemishes we can use to conceal your identity. You could pose nude, strip, dance, masturbate, or whatever and no one would ever know but you and I." "I suppose," I said, becoming more and more excited at that possibility. "There are several amateur web sites that allow you to post and I even noticed that some of them have cash awards for the various categories but I could never win those with this body. It's worn out and saggy." "Not for the mature categories," she said. "Whatever," I said. "I just won't get my hopes up." "So let's talk about the bondage," she said. "If I decide to try it, I can do that same thing," I said, "but that would create a whole new problem." "Why is that?" she asked. "There is only one person in this whole wide world that I would submit to for that and I'm not sure that's a good idea," I said. "It's just a photo or video shoot," she said. "It's not like I'm making love to you and you've already decided you could do nude shots or videos so either way, I'm going to get you naked." "Yeah and up close and maybe a little too personal," I said. "What's really bothering you?" she asked. "Is it me, because I can find someone else to do the camera work if it is." I reached over and grabbed her arm. "No, honey, oh god no," I said. "You know better than that. It's me that I don't trust, and just thinking about the possibility for disaster scares the living hell out of me. No matter what I want, I can't jeopardize what I already have with Tim." "Of course you can't and neither can I," she said. "So if we explore that side, we have to make sure we work together to keep that from happening." "The other thing is that we can't do it in our homes because we can't conceal that identity." "We could do it in one of our garages," she said. "It would be simple to change that with some props and tarps or something like that." "Maybe," I said, "at least enough to see if it's what I want at all." "Demon number two controlled," she said, "and I don't think either of us is ready to explore the third one, but we do need to discuss it because whether we want to explore it or not, it will always be an issue." "I know now that I am at least bi," I said, "and to tell you the truth, Lexi, accepting it was not easy, and I felt such a feeling of relief when I did, but now, the threat to my marriage is even stronger and it frightens me." "Why is that?" she asked. "You tell me of the pussy pounding sex you two have and how much you love it and him, Cindy, but you're afraid that making love to another woman will take all of that away. I don't get it." "It won't be a problem for me," I said, "but if he finds out, he may bolt or worse." "Cindy, listen to me, I won't lie to you and tell you that it couldn't happen, but do you really think he couldn't understand or forgive you? You know him better than I do, but I can't see that." "Oh god, I just don't know, Lexi," I said. "I don't think he would, but I can't even think about it right now or I'll be too afraid to do any of it." "Okay, change of subject," she said. "Let's get back to the exhibitionism. Are you sure you want to do it?" "I get wet just thinking about it," I said. "the only thing about the internet though is that I can't get the rush of discovery I get from public exposure." ""In a way you can, but it's delayed," she said. "Most sites have a place for comments and feedback, and if things work out, we can look for places and situations where you can be naked and free outdoors in a controlled environment." "So where do we go from here?" I asked, anxious to move on. "One thing at a time," she said. "Let's think of what we want to do and how to go about it." "We both have fairly new digital cameras and video recorders," I said. "I've got a couple of tripods around here somewhere that we bought and never used," she said. "We have to decide how to conceal the identity of the room we decide to shoot in." I said. "Oh hell, that's simple," she said. "We can use the guest room. I'll just put the lamps in the closet and change the drapes and linens but we can get cheap ones at the Linen's outlet store or the dollar store. You won't recognize the place." "What about the headboard?" "Leave that up to me," "When do you want to do it?" "I'm tied up with errands and appointments tomorrow," she said, "but I'm available Thursday if you want." "I'll go to the costume shop tomorrow to get wigs and whatever else I can find to change my looks." "Be sure you get something for me too," she said. "You don't get to have all the fun." "I'll be sure to bring the cameras," I said. "Is there anything else we need?" "Not this time," she said. "We'll keep it fairly simple the first time and if you like it and want to do it again we can decide what we need then." "I can't believe you're doing this for me," I said. "It's not just about you any more," she said. "I'm almost as excited about it as you are.." I gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek. "We'll have fun with it," I said. "As long as it keeps the demons away, I'll be happy," she said. "Plan on being here early on Thursday though, so we have plenty of time to get everything set up and ready." Chapter 7 An hour after I arrived at the costume store, I walked out with two wigs, contact lenses, temporary tattoos and very realizing looking scars along with two pamphlets on costuming. My second stop was at a small store that the clerk suggested for inexpensive costume jewelry including clip on nipple and clit rings. I was ready to be transformed into my alter ego. The Exhibitionist Ch. 01-08 I left the packages in the car, well concealed under the back deck, along with some makeup from the dollar store in colors I would never consider wearing in real life, and an assortment of tops, skirts and dresses from the local Goodwill store. By the time I headed for home I was out of mad money, but on a euphoric high. I cleared the dinner dishes and loaded the dishwasher when I heard Tim in the computer room. "Holy fucking shit," he yelled. "No fucking way." "What are you yelling about?" I asked. "This fucking broad is unbelievable. She's doing things with her body that don't look possible. Damn, that's hot." I just smiled and went to look under the bed in the guest room for the bag of old linens, most of them unused gifts that just didn't fit in with our decorating scheme. Not finding it there, I went to the closet and it was there that Tim found me bent over. The next thing I knew, my jeans and panties were around my ankles and his cock was buried up to his balls in my pussy in one brutal thrust. I acted like I wanted him to stop but I'm a lousy actor and of course, when you're begging him to 'fuck me harder,' he's not likely to take it seriously. He was hammering into me so hard that it was all I could do to keep from being driven to the floor. I have no idea how many times I came, but when he was finished, he had to help me to stand and get over to the bed, but in a move uncharacteristic of men, he finished stripping me and spent a longtime worshiping my breasts and kissing me. "I'm glad we started watching those videos honey," I said. "I wish I could keep going," he said. "Oh my god, baby, you fucked me so hard I'm not sure I would have lasted much longer," I told him. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, getting off the bed. "Not without me, you're not," I said, following him in where we bathed each other, not stopping until I had sucked him dry and he had fingered me through two more orgasms including one that was triggered by his finger in my ass, something he had never touched before. As we lay in bed later, he rolled over to face me and take my hands in his. "Cindy," he said, "about what I did in the shower..." "It's all right, Tim. It sent me flying even higher but I'm not ready to try anal. I might be one day but not yet." "I understand," he said, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset." "No honey, I'm not upset and I don't mind if you do it some of the time but not all the time." He turned away from me and I spooned into him. "What would you do if I did that to you?" I asked. "I don't know," he said. "Isn't that sort of a gay thing?" "No honey," I said. "Can I show you why?" He shrugged so I slid my index finger through his crack and slowly pushed it deep. He sort of grunted and then I pulled it out and added a second finger I slowly turned my hand to position them to massage his prostate. It only took a few strokes before he was moaning and a quick check revealed his cock getting harder and harder. Leaving my fingers in his ass, I reached around and stroked his hard cock until he groaned and shot a load of sperm across the bed. "Any questions?" I asked. "I can't believe you just did that," he said. "I'm full of surprises," I said. "You might remember that if you start thinking about anal because strap-ons aren't that expensive." "Don't be ridiculous," he said. "Why is it all right for a man to butt fuck his partner but it isn't alright if she wants to do the same to him?" I asked. "Go to sleep," he said. I smiled and closed my eyes, knowing we would be talking about this again. Chapter 8 In the morning, I found her in the guest room, taking down the drapes. The bed had already been stripped and the lamps were nowhere in sight. A throw rug I didn't recall was spread on the floor next to the bed and several new cushions were piled up against the closet door. I put my packages on the bed and went to help her. "I have some linens and a coverlet that Tim won't remember if you need them," I said, "and I think I've got everything we need to change our looks, including some neat nipple and clit rings." "I found a box we can store the stuff in downstairs and fixed it so it looks like it hasn't been opened in years." "How did you do that?" I asked. "I sprayed some plastic preservation spray from my craft box and allowed it to settle on all the dust and shit that was on top of it. By opening it from the bottom, he'll never know it's been opened." "God. You can be so sneaky," I said. We moved the dresser to the wall next to the door to be sure the opposite wall would be empty and took down two pictures, putting them in a dresser drawer. When everything was done, she stood in the doorway with the camera and scanned the room to be sure we hadn't forgotten anything. Then she stood behind the tripod and did the same thing. "I think we're ready," she said. "Now for the important transformations." We took the costumes I'd bought into her room so I could but as I stripped, she sat on the bed and watched with pure lust in her eyes. "Lexi," I said, "I think it's best if you go out while I change because honest to god, I feel like a rabbit about to be eaten by the wolf. God, if you could see the look in your eyes." "I'm sorry, honey," she said. "Maybe it will be easier if we both change at the same time." The second she started stripping, I knew that it was not going to help anything at all. Now we both had erect nipples. I knew that we'd both be naked soon, but this first step was huge. Completely naked, we stood in front of the full length mirror to focus on changing our appearance with makeup and contacts but the wigs would be the final adjustment. The tattoos were next and we put small ones on our shoulders and ankles but then it was time to apply the ones we couldn't reach to do on our own. Over the crease of our ass, we put wide winged creatures and near the top of our breasts we applied butterflies. I was going to put one just above my mons but the thought of her being that close was more than I could handle at the time. Then we put nipple rings and clit rings on and added our wigs. When I looked in the mirror I laughed so hard that I could hardly stand. "I have no idea who that is," I finally said. "Me either, she said, "but she sure has a hot body." "Stop It, damn it, Cindy," I said. "This is hard enough as it is." "You're right," she said. "I'm sorry. Forcing my mind back to the situation at hand, I quickly dressed in the costume clothing including the thongs and bra that I'd gotten at the closeout store. With a last minute look in the mirror, I headed for our "studio." For the next hour, I stripped, dressed and stripped again, posed in everything from cheesecake to pornographic positions, and fondled myself without actually masturbating. We took a break for a trip to the bathroom and some tea, then returned for the second session, which was going to be much more stressful. Moving through several positions, I masturbated to loudly professed orgasms without toys, then did it again with some toys. By the time we were done, I was exhausted and my thighs were covered with come. Just knowing that she was watching the whole time made the orgasms more intense and longer lasting. "Wow, that was hot," she said. "I got several really great close-ups of you, and at least two awesome orgasms." "Yours or mine?" I asked. "Yours," she said, "but only because I didn't dare put the camera down long enough to take care of myself. I'll correct that problem while you take a shower." "I need one," I said. "I'm all sticky and stinky." When I came out of the shower, she suggested we take time out for an early lunch to give me time to get ready for the next session, which would be both of us, using just the cameras on the tripods. I think we both knew that we would be tempted and could easily give in, but it just wasn't the time. The session went smoothly, as we both masturbated with dildos and vibes, gazing into each other's eyes which took the cameras out of the situation completely and made our efforts incredibly intense and satisfying. Completely exhausted and covered with come, we lay together, intentionally avoiding any direct eye contact for obvious reasons. Eventually, she headed for her room to shower while I used the one in the guest room. We dressed and I folded up drapes while she stripped the bed and took everything to the laundry. Within minutes the room was restore to its normal appearance and we took time out for tea and some scones she'd bought while she was shopping. Well," she said, "we got through our first step in your adventures," "It felt good," I said, "but I'm not sure if I can do much more. There were times when I almost lost control." "It was very tempting," she said, "but we made it and it might be easier next time." "Or not," I said. "You don't have to make any decisions right now," she said. "I know," I said, I helped her take the throw rug to the garage where it was hidden behind other things overhead. When we were done, we were completely exhausted, but smiling. "I'll edit the videos either today or tomorrow and we can watch them together," she said. "Then you can decide what you want to do with them." "'I'll check out some of the amateur postings sites when I can and choose a couple that we can talk about," I said. "We have to be careful when we're talking to the guys," she said, "Especially when we're making love." I told her about Tim's surprising attack from behind and the finger up my ass. Then I told her about what I had said to him and his predictable reaction. "I love it when Troy finger fucks me back there," she said, "but we haven't tried anal yet. I'm not in any hurry to take that route either." "I've got to go," I said, glancing at the clock, "but I'll call you in the morning." As I sat at the table, waiting for dinner to finish, I thought of what had happened that day and how close I'd come to making love to her. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't going to be a problem but I knew that any further sessions would present new challenges and opportunities and I wasn't sure I was strong enough to deny the rapidly growing desire for her much longer. Tim was in a good mood when he came home and it served to take my mind off my situation. After dinner, he had something he was working on for his job and I went to the living room, where I read and reveled in occasional flashbacks that made me wet. After the events of the day though, I wasn't looking for sex in any form and thankfully, Tim never made any moves on me when we went to bed.