4 comments/ 7484 views/ 3 favorites The Balance in Love Ch. 01 By: AshiraDatya She stood at the waters edge, staring at the sunset, wondering where things had gone wrong, what had she done wrong, why he had left her. Her eyes glistened with tears and she toyed with her sun-kissed blond hair. "Ayla, we need to go," a young woman murmured. Ayla turned to the other woman, whose hair was just a shade darker then her own and sighed. "What did I do Abby?" she whispered. "You didn't do anything Ayla, Dylan's just a jerk," Abby told her sister. Abby's eyes, green where Ayla's were blue were full of anger for Dylan's actions, but full of love for her sister. "I had to have done something. Why would Dylan have left me like that?" Ayla whispered. "Forget about that jerk Aya," Abby said. Ayla smiled at her sister's use of her pet name. "C'mon, dad says it's time to go," Abby added. Ayla gave one more look towards the water and followed her sister to the car where their father waited. "Is everything alright girls?" their father asked. "Yes dad, everything's fine," Abby said, glanced at her sister who nodded. "Everything's fine," Ayla echoed. Their father studied both girls for a moment, then nodded, turned around, put the car in gear and drove away. -2 years later- "Ayla, wait up!" Ayla turned around and grinned when she saw her best friends Carly and Rachel hurrying towards her. "what's up Car?" Ayla asked when her friends caught up. "There's a this guy in our History class!" Carly exclaimed. "He's hot!" Rachel added. Ayla rolled her eyes. "What are we, in eighth grade? Just because there's a hot guy doesn't mean you need to get your panties in a bunch," she reminded her friends. "We're in college now," she added. "Just because you're anti-men doesn't mean we can't appreciate them," Rachel retorted. "You should have been in class today," Carly said, shaking her head. "I'm not interested. I just want to get done with college before I even think about a relationship," Ayla reminded her friends. "I have to go guys, my father is taking Abby and I out to dinner, some place fancy," she sighed. "I can help you get ready," Carly offered. "That'd be awesome," Ayla agreed. "See you Rache," she added before she and Carly walked away. "Well look who we have here," a familiar, male voice said causing Ayla to stop dead in her tracks. "You're looking pretty good Aya." "Don't call me that! Only Abby calls me that!" Ayla exclaimed. She turned to him, her eyes flashing. "What do you want Dylan?" she asked. "A second chance," Dylan answered. "Not a fucking chance in hell!" Ayla spat. Carly's eyes widened; she'd never heard that kind of language from her friend. "Let's go Car," Ayla said, grabbing her friend's arm and pulling her away. "Who was that?" Carly asked when they reached Ayla's dorm. "That was Dylan, my first boyfriend," Ayla said, unwilling to elaborate further, no matter how much Carly pushed. "Just please help me find something to wear to dinner," Ayla pleaded. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "What do you mean I'm wrong? I'm never wrong!" a prissy girl in the front row of the classroom exclaimed, her shrill voice making everyone wince. "Stella, the First World War was not started because Ireland ran out of potatoes. Ireland running out of potatoes was the Potato famine and that was in 1846. World War One started in 1914," the professor said, rubbing his eyes. "Then what started World War One?" Stella demanded. "Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated in Sarajevo," Ayla blurted out. "By the Black Hand," added another student. Ayla looked up to see a very attractive man sitting next to her with a wolfish grin on his face. "Very good Miss Ivonova and Mister Cohen," the professor said with a look of relief on his face. At least somebody was paying attention. "Then why did Hitler try to take over all of Europe if it was because some guy got killed?" Stella wanted to know. "Oh my God, how stupid are you and how the hell did you get into a university?" Ayla exclaimed. "You little bitch!" Stella shrieked. "Hitler was World War Two which was 1939 to 1944. He had Concentration Camps and the Holocaust and he decimated the European Jewish population," Ayla explained. "While Stalin took care of the Russian Jewish population in secret." Ayla smiled at the man sitting next to her. "You are both correct. Perhaps one of you could tutor Stella for this class?" the professor suggested. "Sorry professor, but I can hardly handle my course load," Ayla refused. "I'm having the same problem. Sixteen credits is a lot to handle," the man agreed. "Very well. Class is dismissed, please do the reading. Stella, a word please," the professor said with a sigh. Ayla stood up and turned to the man next to her. "I'm Ayla," she introduced, stretching her hand out to his. "I'm Shane, nice to meet you," he replied, shaking her hand. "You're a history buff aren't you?" Ayla accused. "No, not really, I just can't stand stupid people," Shane denied with a grin. Ayla snorted and followed Shane out of the class room. "He's out of your league Ayla." She stopped short when she heard Dylan's voice, closed her eyes and willed him to go away as he pushed himself off against the wall. "Go away Dylan, I don't want to talk to you," Ayla told her ex boyfriend. "But I want to talk to you," Dylan said. "Fuck off!" Ayla snapped before practically running away. "What!?" Ayla practically snapped when she flung her bedroom door open later that evening. "Whoa! Uncle, I cry uncle!" Shane exclaimed, holding his full hands up in the air. "I'm sorry Shane, I thought you were someone else," Ayla said softly, holding the door open for him. "Like that Dylan guy?" Shane asked. "Like Dylan, yes. He has a knack for finding me," Ayla agreed. "What are you doing here and more importantly, how did you find me?" she asked. "Student directory. You're the only Ayla Ivonova here at school, did you know that?" Shane answered. "I had a pretty good guess. What are you doing here?" Ayla repeated. "I brought you dinner. I ran into your roommate Carly and she said you haven't left your room all evening, I thought you'd be hungry," Shane said. "And you just happened to know one of my favorite meals was Beef with Broccoli?" Ayla asked, her eyebrow raised. "Carly might have helped me out with that," Shane admitted. Ayla smiled and took the pro-offered chop sticks and began eating the food in front of her. "So who is Dylan?" Shane asked after a moment. Ayla hesitated. "He seemed like he has a grudge against you, you should have someone to watch your back," he added. "He's the first guy I ever dated. I thought I loved him," Ayla answered. "He hurt you," Shane murmured. "Very much so," Ayla agreed. She couldn't place it, but for some reason, she felt comfortable, even safe with Shane. "Report him to campus police. He's stalking you," Shane suggested. "He's bumped into me twice," Ayla said, rolling her arms. "He was waiting for you," Shane reminded her before taking a bite of his own food, a nice and spicy Kung Pao Chicken. "And he was standing out front of the building when I got here," he added. "What?" Ayla asked, her eyes wide. "See for yourself," Shane told her. Ayla walked to the window and peeked out and she gasped when she saw Dylan leaning against a tree watching the entrance of the building. "I think campus police would be a good thing," Ayla said quietly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hey beautiful," Shane greeted Ayla when she sat down in her seat. "I'm not beautiful," she scolded with a laugh as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yes, you are. But I'm not going to argue with you, are you ready for the midterm?" Shane asked. "Yeah, but I don't think Stella is," Ayla answered, glancing over at her classmate. "Ayla, can I sit next to you today?" Stella asked. "Um, sorry Stel, but Shane is sitting here," Ayla told Stella. "He can sit behind you today. Unless you're worried about him passing," Stella whined. "Take your seats everyone," the professor said as he walked in. "Stella, that means you too," he added. With a pout, Stella sat down in the seat in front of her, right where Shane was about to sit. Shane and Ayla glanced at each other as Shane sat down in the chair behind Stella. "This will be so much fun!" Stella squealed. Ayla rolled her eyes, stood up and walked to where the professor was waiting for class to start so he could hand out the final exam. -Two days later- "You're awful Ayla Semira Ivonova," Shane scolded, even as he doubled over with laughter. "The look on Stella's face was worth it," Ayla protested. "You're brilliantly awful," Shane amended. Ayla laughed and took another large sip of wine. "You're beautiful and brilliant," Shane murmured. Before Ayla could stop him, Shane leaned over, pressed his lips to hers and kissed her hard, but at the same time, gently. His tongue pushed past her parted lips and dueled with her tongue. Ayla moaned as he pulled away from her. "What was that for?" Ayla asked breathlessly. "I felt like it," Shane answered before he kissed her again. "Shane," Ayla whispered. "Yeah?" Shane asked. "Kiss me again," she murmured. With a groan, Shane kissed Ayla, one hand cupped her chin, the other cupped a pert breast; he plucked her nipple land she moaned softly against his lips. "You're beautiful," Shane managed to say, his voice was ragged when they pulled away to take a breath. "No, I'm not," Ayla whispered. Her blue eyes widened at the devilish glint Shane's eyes took and she gasped when he quickly and carefully pulled her sweater over her head, leaving her sitting on the couch in just her bra and jeans. "Oh yes, you are," Shane assured her. Ayla whimpered when he nibbled on her breast through the bra. "Wait," Ayla moaned. Shane pulled away and looked at her in concern. The concern in his eyes floated away as he watched Ayla take off her bra. She looked at him shyly and gasped as pleasure rolled over her when Shane sucked lightly on a nipple. "Absolutely beautiful," Shane murmured before he stood up. Ayla looked up at him in surprise. "If you want this to go further, we're going into the bedroom," he added. Before Ayla could answer, the front door was flung open. Ayla shrieked and grabbed for her sweater. "Oh my God Aya, I'm so sorry!" "Abby, what are you doing here?" Ayla hissed. "Dad's waiting downstairs, he says he needs to talk to you, it's important!" Abby exclaimed. "Was waiting downstairs." Abby cringed when she heard her father's voice behind her. "Dad!" Ayla gasped. "Get dressed Ayla, we need to talk," her father instructed, giving Shane a look of disdain. The Balance in Love Ch. 02 "I'm twenty years old dad, if I want to date, I can!" Ayla reminded her father. "And after you dated Dylan, I'm supposed to let you just go around fucking men?" her father inquired, raising an eyebrow. "I haven't had sex with Shane!" Ayla exclaimed. "You would have if I had not walked into your room," her father pointed out. "Dad, I'm not a little girl anymore," Ayla said quietly. "You're my little girl Ayla and it's my job to protect you," her father argued. "You have to let me grow up. You can't keep me a child forever," Ayla protested. "Sir, could I say something?" Shane asked, speaking up for the first time. "What is it you could possibly say?" Mr. Ivonova asked. "I care deeply about Ayla and I respect her a great deal. I would never push her to do anything she did not want to do, you have my word on that. Hurting Ayla is the last thing that I want," Shane said. Mr. Ivonova smiled at that, and took the time to study the man that he'd found in his half naked daughter's room. Shane was tall, easily six feet with brown hair and startling deep blue eyes. A classically handsome young man, it was easy to see why his daughter was taken with this young man. Mr. Ivonova turned back to Ayla. "He seems to be a nice enough young man," he told his daughter, despite the fact that Shane was sitting in the chair behind him. "What is it you burst into my room to tell me?" Ayla asked, her eyes moving from her father to Shane and back again. "Your grandparents are coming to visit, and they are bringing a young man with them. He's an orphan and they have been raising him for the last few years. He wants to transfer to an American University so they are bringing him here to the States to look at schools. I want you to be at the house when they get here next week," Mr. Ivonova answered. "Are you setting me up?" Ayla asked suspiciously. "He's a nice Russian boy Ayla," her father replied with a careless shrug. "Dad!" Ayla groaned. Her father chuckled and stood up from the couch he was sitting on. "Seven thirty next Friday evening, Ayla, do not be late," he told his daughter before leaving the room. "I'm sorry about that," Ayla said to Shane. "That your father is trying to set you up with a Russian man? You can't be to blame for that," Shane said tersely. "I don't want to be set up with anyone," Ayla told him. "So don't let him. Tell this Russian that you have a boyfriend," Shane suggested. "What?" Ayla asked, not sure if she heard him right. "I'll be your boyfriend Ayla. I like you, a lot. And we were making out pretty heavily there, and probably would have slept together. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but it might help keep this Russian guy at bay," Shane told her. "You would do that?" Ayla asked quietly. "I like you Ayla, I'd love this opportunity to get to know you," Shane answered. Ayla smiled, threw her arms around Shane's neck and gave him a hug. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Shane, can you help me with something?" Ayla called from her bedroom. "What do you need?" Shane asked, stopping short in the doorway of the room. Ayla stood there in just a red thong and a push up bra that left very little to the imagination. "Are you sure?" Shane asked, his mouth dry. "Very sure," Ayla murmured. Shane crossed the room and captured her lips with his. She moaned as his hands slid up her body to unhook the bra and played with her taut nipples. "You're beautiful," Shane said as he pulled his lips away. A shiver of pleasure went down her spine as his mouth closed around a hardening nipple and sucked lightly on it. A look of surprise crossed Ayla's face as Shane lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. The impish smile on his face made her laugh as he slid the thong down her legs and let it drop to the floor. "Scoot down," he urged as he pulled back slightly. Ayla did as she was told, stopping only when her bottom hit the palm of Shane's hand. "What are you ..." Ayla's voice trailed off with a gasp when his tongue brushed lightly against her clit. "Relax," Shane murmured, lifting his head just long enough to smile at her. Ayla moaned as Shane licked and sucked on her pussy, nearly shot off the bed when he added his fingers to the mix. Only when Ayla came with a nearly breathless scream did Shane stop the assault of her clit. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, ignoring the throbbing fullness of his cock. "I'm fine," Ayla answered. Shane smiled and kissed her as he positioned himself between her legs. "You can still say no," Shane told her, even though he was so hard it hurt. "I'm not saying no," Ayla told him. "I need to feel you inside me," she whispered. Shane groaned and thrust deep within her, his eyes widened when he felt Ayla tense up as he pushed through what could only be her hymen. "Oh Ayla," he whispered. Shane held himself still and wiped the tear drops that had fallen, kissed her softly. "I'm okay," Ayla told him after a moment. Shane studied her carefully and groaned when she wriggled beneath him. "Really," she added. Carefully, Shane began to move, thrusting in and out of her, slowly at first, and then faster, and faster. His hands slid under Ayla's bottom to help her move with him. She quickly caught on and he slid his hands out from under her, played with her nipples as he thrust hard into her. Their breathing quickened and Ayla moaned as he bent his head and sucked a nipple into his mouth. Shane thrust harder and faster and Ayla cried out as she came, her nails dug into his back as her whole body convulsed, her pussy clenched tightly around his cock. He thrust deep and practically growled as he spewed his cum deep within her still spasming pussy. "Are you alright?" Shane asked when his breathing had returned to normal. "I'm wonderful," Ayla murmured. Shane smiled, pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled out of her as gently as he could. Ayla winced as his cock slid free of her body, the tender flesh of her well used pussy protested the loss of his hardness. "Why didn't you tell me?" Shane asked finally as they redressed. "I didn't think it mattered that I was still a virgin," Ayla answered. "It did, but it didn't," Shane said. "That doesn't make a whole lot of sense," Ayla commented. "It mattered Ayla, because I would have done things differently. Candles, flowers, and I would have taken things a little slower, but it doesn't matter because I'm honored that you gave me such a gift," Shane told her. Ayla blushed a little. "I care about you Ayla. I don't want to hurt you," he added. "It only hurt a little, and only for a minute," Ayla whispered. "Do not be embarrassed by what we shared Ayla, there's nothing to be embarrassed about," Shane told her. She smiled shyly at him as she finished pinning her hair back and Shane brushed his teeth. "Ready to go?" Ayla asked. "Into the lion's den," Shane said with a laugh and a nod. -30 Minutes later- Ayla, look at you! You've grown into such a beautiful young woman!" her grandmother exclaimed. "Hello grandmother," Ayla said with a smile. She hugged her grandmother and then her grandfather before she turned back to Shane. "Grandma, Grandpa, this is my boyfriend Shane. Shane, my grandfather Mikhail and my grandmother Anastasia," Ayla introduced. "Your boyfriend? Your father never said anything about a boyfriend!" her grandfather exclaimed. "It's nice to meet you," Shane said, giving Ayla an amused smile. "How long have you been dating?" her grandmother wanted to know. "Only a few months," Ayla answered. "Three to be exactly," Shane added, squeezed Ayla's smile. "Relax," he murmured. Ayla gave him a grateful smile. She swallowed hard when she saw her father talking to a tall man with dark brown hair that could only be her grandparent's ward. "Ah, Ayla, I'm glad you're here. I didn't realize you were bringing Shane," her father said, with a frown. "Why wouldn't I? He's my boyfriend," Ayla answered. Her father's frown deepened. "When did this happen?" Mr. Ivonova asked. "Months ago," Ayla told him. "You didn't say anything last week," her father pointed out. "You didn't give me a chance to," Ayla retorted. "Enough, Peter. Let us just visit with the girls. Ayla, my little flower, this is Dimitri," Mikhail said. "It's nice to meet you Dimitri. I hope you find your visit to be a good one," Ayla murmured politely. "Your grandfather was correct, you are a beautiful woman," Dimitri said. He took Ayla's hand, drew it to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. Ayla glanced at Shane who had an unreadable expression on his face as she pulled her hand away from Dimitri, wiped her hand on her jeans and slipped her hand into Shane's. "Dimitri, this is my boyfriend Shane," Ayla introduced. Dimitri glanced at Shane and rolled his eyes, as if to say, "Stupid American men." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Carly, wait up!" Ayla exclaimed. "Hey girl, it's been forever!" Carly teased. Ayla blushed. It'd been three weeks since her grandparents and Dimitri had come to visit, and three blissful weeks since she and Shane had officially started dating, and she'd spent nearly every night in his apartment. "How's Shane?" Carly asked. "He's fine," Ayla said. "That's for sure. You guys seemed to really hit it off," Carly commented. "Yeah, we're doing pretty well. I really like him Car. He's smart, and he's sweet and he's amazing!" Ayla said, the words coming out in a rush. "How is he in bed?" Carly asked. Ayla blushed and bit her lip with a grin. "Ohhh girl, is he really that good?" Carly inquired. "Oh yeah!" Ayla admitted. "What are you ladies talking about?" Ayla looked up and sighed. "What are you doing here Dimitri?" Ayla asked. "I have decided to pick this university to continue my studies. Is that a problem for you Ayla?" Dimitri answered. "Of course not. This is a free country after all," Ayla said, rolling her eyes. "We have to go, by now!" she added, grabbing her friend's arm and pulling her quickly away. "Ow, Ayla, what was that for?" Carly asked. "That's Dimitri, the guy my grandparents brought with them from Russia. I think they're trying to set me up with him," Ayla answered when they were safely in their dorm room. "He's pretty cute," Carly commented. "Good, then you go out with him, get him out of my hair," Ayla grumbled. "What does Abby think of Shane?" Carly asked, knowing how over protective her roommate's older sister was. "She likes him, she just thinks we're rushing things a bit," Ayla answered. "Spoken like a true older sister," Carly said with a laugh. Ayla nodded and sighed. "What's wrong Ayla?" Carly asked. "Shane wants to know what happened between me and Dylan," Ayla answered. "So tell him. You're his girlfriend Ayla, he has a right to know," Carly told her friend. "I can't even think about it without getting sick to my stomach," Ayla whispered. "Trust that Shane cares enough about you to be there for you," Carly advised. Ayla nodded and packed a change of clothes into her bag. "I'll tell him tonight, after classes," she said, resolved to get it out from between them once and for all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You're quiet tonight," Shane commented before taking a bite of his burger. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I've been thinking. Do you still want to know what happened between Dylan and I?" Ayla wanted to know. "Yes, but only if you're comfortable with telling me," Shane answered. Ayla took a deep breath and fiddled with her fork before taking a sip of water. "I offered my virginity to him," she said finally. "He didn't want it?" Shane asked, surprised. "You're beautiful, I don't see how he could have turned you down," Shane murmured. Ayla smiled at that. "Let me finish, or I'll never get this out." Shane said nothing, just took a sip of his own water and nodded. "Dylan wanted me to give him head, which, was weird, but not a big deal, I was okay with that. And he wanted my virginity, but he wanted all of it. He got me going, and when I thought he was going to take it, he flipped me over and fucked me in the ass. It hurt so bad, and I was so humiliated that even after he'd washed his dick off, I wouldn't let him near my vagina. He broke up with me on the spot and told the entire school what I tease I was. The worst part was, he filmed it and passed copies of the tape around to all for his friends," Ayla answered. Shane said nothing, he just stood up, walked around the table and gave Ayla a gentle hug. "I thought I loved him, and I was going to give myself to him and he hurt me," she whispered. "Dylan is a moron and if I see him again, I'm going to ..." "Don't hurt him Shane. That won't solve anything," Ayla interrupted. "Okay, I'll leave him alone, for you. But he's an idiot for doing that to you. You're an amazing and beautiful woman," Shane murmured. "I'm so sorry that happened to you," he added, kissed her gently and wiped the tears from her face. "I'm glad you told me," Shane said finally. "So am I," Ayla murmured. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Abby, what were you doing with Dimitri?" Ayla asked her sister after Abby had taken a bite of her grilled cheese. "I've been showing him around town. He's really cute and he's sweet," Abby answered. "If you say so," Ayla said with a grin. "How are thing going with Shane?" Abby asked. "Really great. I really like him Abby," Ayla told her sister. "You've been dating, what for fourmonths now?" Abby wanted to know. Ayla nodded. "I'm happy for you Aya," she murmured. "I told him what Dylan did and he still likes me," Ayla whispered. "Oh Aya!" Abby exclaimed. "Hello ladies," Dimitri said from the side of the table. "Hey Dimitri," Abby said brightly. "Hi," Ayla murmured. "This is sort of a sister thing Dimitri, can I meet up with you later?" Abby asked. "It's okay Abby, I have to get going anyway. I missed an exam last week and I need to go make it up," Ayla said. "You missed an exam? Why?" Abby asked, instantly worried. "I was sick and Shane made me go see a doctor. I'm fine now," Ayla answered, standing up. She gave her sister a hug, waved goodbye to Dimitri and left. When Ayla got back to Shane's apartment that evening after taking the exam, she was exhausted and just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep. "Hey beautiful, how'd your exam go?" Shane asked after Ayla had let herself in. "I think pretty well," Ayla answered, sitting down on the couch next to him. "God I'm so glad it's Friday," she groaned. "Still not feeling well?" Shane asked in concern. "I'm just crampy and tired," Ayla told him. "Go on to bed, I'll bring you some soup," Shane insisted. Ayla smiled, kissed him and headed back to the bedroom. Before Shane could even take two steps into the kitchen, Ayla called his name in a shrill and panicked voice, Shane hurried to the bedroom. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking over her quickly. His eyes widened when he saw her standing in the doorway of the adjoining bathroom with blood streaming down her legs. "Something's wrong, can you get me clean clothes and take me to the doctor?" Ayla asked, her voice shaking. Shane nodded and quickly did as he was asked. "Ayla? How are you doing?" Shane asked, his voice sounded funny to him as he made his way silently into the bedroom he'd shared with Ayla for the last few months. She turned to him, her eyes filled with tears and just shook her head. "I thought it was just a period," she whispered. "Ayla, I'm sorry," Shane murmured, sitting on the bed. "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the envelope in her hand. Ayla handed it to him and he sighed. "That's just a few days late," she said dryly. "Ayla, sweetie, everything's going to be okay," Shane promised. Ayla said nothing as she swiped at the tears on her cheeks. Shane sighed in frustration as he pulled Ayla into his arms and held her as she cried herself to sleep before he examined the letter from the doctor more carefully; read the line, "HCG levels of 110," as the doctor's words seemed to play on repeat in his head. The phone rang and Shane sighed again, this time out of irritation. He carefully pulled away from Ayla, paused only when she whimpered and quickly walked into the living room to answer the phone so it didn't wake Ayla up. "Hey Carly. We just got back a little while ago. Ayla's going to be okay." Shane closed his eyes and fought the dizziness he felt. "She had a miscarriage," he told Carly. "Let me know if you need anything," Carly murmured. "I will, thanks," Shane said and hung up. He dropped down to the couch and dropped his head in his hands as he wondered what to do next. The Balance in Love Ch. 03 CHAPTER THREE "Ayla, are you hungry?" Shane asked, looking up as she walked through the door. "Starving," she murmured, dropped her heavy book bag to the floor. "Good, I have Chinese waiting," Shane told her. Ayla smiled and gave him a hug. "Did you get all of your exams made up from last semester?" Shane asked. Ayla toyed with the broccoli on her plate and nodded. "I'm all set to register for next semester too," Ayla murmured. "Aya, I know you're still upset, but it wasn't your fault," Shane reminded her gently. "I know that. I'm not even ready for kids yet. It was just such a shock ..." she trailed off and took a sip of her cola to force herself to remain calm. "Have you told your dad?" Shane asked cautiously. "It's only been three weeks Shane, are you insane? My father would kill you!" Ayla exclaimed. Shane laughed and shrugged. "I'm not worried about your dad," Shane said. "You're insane," Ayla retorted with a laugh. Shane smiled, reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. "It's good to see you smile and laugh again," he murmured. Ayla smiled again. "I have to get to work soon, will you be okay on your own?" Shane wanted to know. "I'll be fine," Ayla promised. "I'm sorry for worrying you," she added. "Don't apologize for being upset," Shane told her with a kind smile. He finished the last few bites on his plate and carried his plate into the kitchen. "I'll clean up," Ayla offered. "Then, Carly, Rachel and Abby are coming over to watch a movie," she told him. Shane's smile widened and he hugged her gently. "I'm glad. I have to go get ready for work, I'll see you in a few hours," he murmured. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ayla!" she turned around at the sound of her name being called and smiled when Rachel came to a stop next to her. "Hey Rach," Ayla murmured. "How'd your first class go?" Rachel wanted to know. "It wasn't too bad, except Dimitri is in it," Ayla answered. "I'm heading to Starbucks, wanna come?" she asked. "Do I ever. I haven't had a cap since break," Rachel agreed. "Then lets go." "How have things with Shane been since the miscarriage?" Rachel asked after taking a sip of her cappuchino. "They've been pretty good. We're being more careful these days, but we're going pretty strong," Ayla answered, swirling her hot chocolate around to cool it down. "I'm glad to hear that. We were worried about you for awhile," Rachel told her friend. "I know, I'm sorry about that. I kinda lost it for awhile. I wasn't prepared for anything like that but I was still really upset and guilty about it," Ayla murmured. "You couldn't control it Ayla, you shouldn't have felt guilty," Rachel reminded her. "So Shane kept telling me," Ayla said with a wry smile. She glanced at her watch. "Speaking of, it's his birthday and I need to get to the store, I'm making him a special dinner tonight," Ayla said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Want some company at the store?" Rachel asked. "Sure! You can help by picking out pastry for dessert," Ayla agreed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Aya?" Shane called as he walked through the front door. He smiled in appreciation at the smells that wafted in from the kitchen. "Happy birthday sweetie," Ayla said from the doorway of the bedroom, clad in only a silk bathrobe that was untied, revealing the treasures beneath. "You look amazing and whatever you're making smells fantastic," Shane breathed. Ayla smiled and blushed at that. "I don't know what I want more, the food or you," he added. "Let me make it easy on you, dinner has another hour and a half," Ayla told him. Shane grinned, dropped his bag on the floor, hurried to Ayla's side and swept her into his arms. "I love you Shane," she whispered as he carried her into the bedroom. -Two weeks later- "Damn it Dimitri, do you have to follow me around like a puppy?" Ayla asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in her voice. "Your grandparents want us to be friends. What is the problem?" Dimitri countered. "I have a boyfriend Dimitri, that's what," Ayla answered, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's an American. He has no idea how to handle Russian women," Dimitri said. "I'm an American woman, not a Russian woman and he can handle me just fine!" Ayla spat. "What's going on?" a smug voice asked from behind her. Ayla groaned and rubbed her eyes. "What do you want Dylan?" she asked without turning around. "I've transferred," Dylan answered. "Leave her alone!" Shane's voice was hard as he positioned himself between Ayla and Dylan. "Or what?" Dylan challenged. "Don't test it," Shane suggested. "C'mon Aya," he added, when he felt Ayla put her hand in his. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "She won't even talk to me," Dimitri complained to Mikhail. "She's a proud girl who thinks she's in love. She probably sees you as a threat. Give her time. My flower will turn around and see you for the good Russian Jewish boy you are," Mikhail promised him. "Oh stop being such a Yenta! She is not from the old country Mikhail! Let her find her own match!" Anastasia scolded from her seat by the window, rocked her rocker as she knitted. "Find her own match! I remember a time when a matchmaker arranged the marriages," Mikhail said grumpily. "And I remember when I was a single girl without a husband or children! Times have changed Mikhail! Get over it!" Anastasia retorted. She turned her attention to Dimitri. "I have another grand daughter who seems interested in you. Perhaps you should pursue Abby," she suggested. The Balance in Love Ch. 04 I apologize for the delay in this update, I've had a severe case of writer's block and a bit of mild off and on depression. I'm doing better now and slowly chipping away at the writer's block. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter! As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome. Ashira "Oh my God Shane!" Ayla breathed when she saw what he held in his hand. "I love you Aya, and I know we haven't been together long, but I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without you. Will you marry me?" Shane asked, suddenly nervous when he saw the look on her face. Several moments went by before Ayla sank to the floor. "Aya, what's wrong?" Shane asked her, setting the box down on the floor next to him and reached for her hands. I ... I don't know what to say," she whispered. Shane chuckled a little and squeezed her hands gently. "Say yes," he prompted with a teasing smile. His heart clenched when Ayla's eyes met his. "I love you so much Ayla," he added. His smile faltered when he saw tears fill her eyes. "I love you too Shane. I can't wait to marry you," Ayla whispered, her voice shaking. She laughed when Shane scooped her up and kissed her hard. When he released her lips, Shane reached behind him for the ring box and with shaking hands, pulled the delicate ring out and slid it onto her finger. "Why are you crying?' he asked and kissed a tear away. "I'm happy," Ayla answered. "So don't cry," Shane teased, standing up. "C'mon," he added. "Now what?" Ayla asked, her eyes shining, her excitement obvious. Shane kissed her again, slid his hand down Ayla's body and dipped his fingers past her clothes and flicked at her clit; she moaned and arched against him. "I love you," she whispered. "I love you too," Shane murmured, lifting her into his arms and carried her laughing into the bedroom. "What are you laughing at?" Shane wanted to know, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You've never carried me before," Ayla reminded him, giggled when his fingers brushed down her arm as he set her down gently on the bed. Shane grinned at her and captured her lips with his. His tongue eased past her parted lips and met hers; he cupped the underside of her breast and squeezed it gently. She moaned into his mouth, her eyes closed. "You're over dressed," Shane growled as his hands fumbled with the buttons of her blouse. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Rachel! Carly! Wait up!" Ayla exclaimed as she launched herself across the lawn outside of the dining commons. "What in the world?" Carly asked as she stopped walking and turned to look at her friend. "Are you okay?" Rachel asked. "I'm better than okay!" Ayla said. Her friends looked at each other, eyebrows raised, wondering what had gotten their friend so excited. "What's up?" Rachel wanted to know. "Shane asked me to marry him!" Ayla exclaimed. "And!?" Rachel and Carly prompted. The girls screeched loudly when Ayla held out her left hand, revealing a simple but elegant opal ring that was encircled with glittering diamonds in a tasteful white gold setting. "Oh my God Ayla!" Rachel's voice was quivering with her excitement for her friend. "I'm so happy for you!" Carly exclaimed. "You aren't pregnant again are you?" Rachel asked suddenly. Her words had the same effect that dumping a bucket of ice water over someone's head. "No Rache, I'm not pregnant," Ayla answered, some of her excitement slipped away. "I'm sorry Ayla," Rachel said softly. "I didn't mean ..." "I know Rache, it's fine. I'm glad, in a way that I'm not pregnant. I'm not remotely ready for a baby," Ayla told her friend. She took a deep breath and gave a shaky smile. "So, who wants to help me go dress shopping?" she asked. ~~~~~~~~~~~ "Ayla? Is something wrong?" Peter Ivonova looked up in surprise when Ayla walked into his office. "Does something have to be wrong for a girl to surprise her favorite father for lunch?" Ayla asked, setting the cloth bag down on the side table. "No, of course not. You just haven't been by the office to visit since you started seeing Shane," Peter explained. "Shane's at work, and I wanted to talk to you," Ayla said, nibbling on her lower lip nervously. "What is it Ayla, you know there isn't anything you could do to upset me," Peter reminded his daughter. "Shane proposed to me," Ayla blurted out. "And I said yes," she added before her father could say another word. "Does he make you happy?" Peter asked, sitting back in his chair. "Insanely happy," Ayla answered and a small smile flitted across her face as thoughts of Shane raced through her mind. "Then that is all that matters," Peter declared. Ayla's smile widened and she gave a sigh of relief as her father stood up, walked around the desk and gave his daughter a hug. "Why the sigh?" Peter asked. "I was afraid you would be against my engagement since Shane isn't Russian or Jewish," Ayla murmured. "None of that matters to me as long as you're happy," Peter assured his daughter. "How was lunch with your dad?" Shane asked, later that night as they cuddled on the couch watching a movie. "It was good, he seemed generally happy for us," Ayla murmured. A pounding at the door had them both sitting up in surprise. "Stay here," Shane said as he made his way to the door. "Mr. Ivonova, it's good to see you," Shane added as he opened the door. "YOU SON OF A BITCH! HOW DARE YOU! I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY DAUGHTER EVER SAW IN YOU, BUT THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!" Peter shouted. "Daddy, what in the world is wrong with you?" Ayla wanted to know. "Wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you Ayla!" Peter exclaimed. "How could you stay with a man who forced you to have an abortion?" he roared. "An abortion? I never had an abortion," Ayla said, the confusion genuine enough to cause Peter to pause. "Then explain this note," he instructed, passing it over to his daughter. Mr. Ivonova, I know for a fact Ayla was pregnant. Shane told her to get rid of the baby and poof! She's no longer pregnant. Do you really want someone like that for a son? "Daddy, I did NOT have an abortion! I would never do that! Ever!" Ayla exclaimed, her eyes blazing, her whole body shaking with fury. "Then why would someone say you were pregnant? You're obviously not pregnant," Peter growled, shooting daggers at Shane with his eyes. Ayla sighed. "I was pregnant, six months ago. I had a miscarriage. I hadn't even known I was pregnant," she answered, her voice quivered; Shane found her hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Why didn't you tell me?" Peter asked. "You've never hidden anything from me," he added. "Personally, I was afraid you'd try to take Shane's head off and I needed time to think it over. Whoever sent you that note, I don't know what their game is dad, but you should have known I would NEVER allow someone to force me to abort my own child!" Ayla exclaimed, her sorrow turned to anger; she extended her arm and her hand connected to her father's cheek with a loud SLAP! Instantly, Ayla regretted her action and clamped her hands over her mouth. "I'm sorry daddy!" she gasped. Peter sighed and took a deep breath. "It's alright Ayla, I deserved that. But rest assured, that is the ONLY time you will ever hit me," Peter told his daughter. Ayla nodded and allowed Shane to direct her back to the living room. "Mr. Ivonova, I love Ayla. If I didn't, I wouldn't still be here and I sure as hell wouldn't have proposed if I didn't. I get your anger, but that doesn't mean you can come in here and accuse me of something without having actual proof. I'd like for you to leave now, and please do not come back to my home until you can speak with me and about me respectfully," Shane said, deliberately, he kept his voice low and even. He was angry, but he knew that showing how angry would do nothing but hinder the relationship he had with Ayla; he'd rather cut his arms off with a spoon then hurt her. Mr. Ivonova smiled sadly. "You have earned the right to call me Peter. I'm sorry, I never should have jumped off the handle like that. You're both in the right to be angry at me." He looked past Shane towards his daughter. "I love you Ayla. Please call me when you've calmed down so we can fix this," he murmured, just loudly enough for Ayla and Shane to hear. The Balance in Love Ch. 05 I'm so sorry for the delay ... the last ten months have been very emotional for me and have caused the worst case of writer's block I think I've ever faced. Some of you have suggested that we write what we know, so yes, some of the events in this story have been inspired by some things that have happened in my life. I appreciate all of the comments and the feedback and I must say, it felt good to get what little I wrote here, down tonight. My life finally seems to be back in a good place and I can let the nightmares of the past recede hopefully into a memory that I can move past as I start my life over with an amazing man who has won, not only my heart, but the hearts of my children who mean the absolute world to me. Thanks for sticking with my writing, and I hope not to let too long of a gap go before I update this story. Ashira * "How long are you going to be mad at dad?" Abby wanted to know. "A little while at least. He accused Shane of forcing me to have an abortion!" Ayla exclaimed. "That's not fair Ayla," Abby said softly. "Not fair!? You weren't there Abby, he accused Shane of forcing me to abort the baby and screamed at him and ..." "He's sorry Ayla. You need to forgive dad. He knows he was wrong and your silent treatment is killing him!" Abby exclaimed. "I get you're angry and I understand why, but forgive him already," Abby said softly. Before another word could be spoken, Abby's phone rang, breaking the silence. "What's wrong?" Ayla asked, seeing the stricken look on her sister's face. "Dad's been admitted to the hospital," Abby answered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Aya, how is he?" Shane asked when he finally got to the emergency room. "They are stabilizing dad now, but they won't let us in to see him," Ayla whispered. "He's going to be fine baby," Shane murmured, stroked Ayla's hair as he held her close. "I haven't spoken to him in weeks, I'm still so mad at him about him accusing you of forcing me to abort the baby ..." "Let it go Aya. Just let it all go. Life's too precious and short. He loves you, that's why he was so mad. It doesn't make his reaction a good one, but if he didn't love you, he wouldn't have reacted at all," Shane said softly. "How's my father?" Abby demanded to know when the doctor stepped out into the hall. "He's stable, luckily, the heart attack he suffered was a mild one and we'll put in a stent and send him home in a few days. If you girls would like to see him, you have ten minutes, then I want you to go home and come back in the morning," the doctor answered. "Abby, can I go first?" Ayla asked hesitantly. "Sure," Abby said with a small smile. "Daddy?" Ayla asked, knocked gently on the door jam before she walked into the room. "Ayla, don't be afraid, it looks worse than it is," Peter said, beckoning his daughter forward. "I'm sorry daddy! I never should have given you the silent treatment! This is all my fault!" Ayla wailed. "No Ayla, this is not your fault, not at all," Peter said firmly. "My poor diet and lack of exercise is the cause of this. None of this is because you refused to talk to me. You were hurt, angry, and I understand why. I would be just as angry if I were you. I don't know who sent that note, and I don't really care. As long as Shane loves you and is good to you, and to your children when G-d blesses you with them, that is all that is important to me," Peter added. "I love you daddy," Ayla whispered as she leaned over to give her father a hug. "I love you too Ayla," Peter replied with a kind smile. "Now, go home with your fiancee and start practicing to make those grandbabies. Just practice," Peter instructed. Ayla choked on her laughter, kissed her father's cheek and headed back for the hall. "Well?" Abby demanded. "He seems fine; told me to go home with Shane and just practice at making him some grandbabies," Ayla answered, her cheeks pink. "Just practice huh?" Shane asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. "He said to just practice," Ayla confirmed. "I'm going to see dad, you do what you want," Abby said before she pushed past her sister and walked into the room. "What's wrong with her?" Shane wondered. "Who knows," Ayla murmured. She glanced at her fiancee, asked the nurse a question, left her phone number and followed Shane out of the emergency room. "What got up your butt yesterday?" Ayla asked Abby when she arrived back at the hospital. "You were so angry at dad and now that he's sick, you're back to trying to be miss goody-goody," Abby grumbled. "What the hell? Are you bipolar or something? You wanted me to patch things up with dad and now that I have, you're pissed at me!" Ayla exclaimed. "I just don't want this reconciliation to be because he's sick," Abby said with a sigh. "Abby, I love dad, I was just soo angry at him for what he said. I couldn't get over it, but as dad's health just demonstrated, life is way too short, and I don't want to be angry at him anymore," Ayla murmured. "Fair enough. I'm sorry for being such a bitch," Abby said. "Apology accepted." Ayla looked up as Shane walked into the waiting room with cups of coffee and blueberry muffins. "My hero," Ayla said with a smile. "Where'd you find this guy?" Abby wanted to know. "History class," Ayla answered, giving Shane a wink. "I have good news for you. Your father pulled through the procedure with flying colors and will be released in a day or two. He's a lucky man to have two beautiful young women in his corner," the doctor said. "He's annoying," Shane commented after the doctor had left the waiting room. "How so?" Abby asked. "He was flirting with both of you," Shane answered. "Not that he shouldn't, you're both very beautiful," he added. "Jealous?" Ayla asked. "No, you've given me no reason to be jealous of any man," Shane replied. Ayla smiled and hugged Shane. "Good," she said simply. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Aya, are you okay?" Shane asked from the doorway of the bathroom. "Are you sick again?" he added, not really needing an answer, Ayla hovering over the toilet answered the questions for him as a million thoughts running through his mind. "I feel like shit. The flu is going around at work," Ayla groaned. "Are you pregnant?" Shane asked nervously, not sure what he wanted the answer to be. Ayla shook her head slowly as she leaned back against the wall. "It's just the flu. I had my period last week, remember?" Ayla murmured. "Are you sure? Didn't you say it was a light period? I've heard that sometimes women think they're having their periods but they're really just having breakthrough bleeding and are actually pregnant," Shane rambled. "If you want me to take a test Shane, go out, buy one and I'll take it," Ayla said wearily. "Honey, I just want to make sure that we know if you get pregnant, so we can keep you healthy," Shane assured her. "Shane, go buy a test so we both have some peace of mind," Ayla said with a sigh. Shane pressed a kiss to the top of Ayla's head and hurried out of the apartment. "How long does it take to get the results back?" Shane asked as he handed the box to Ayla. "Get out and let me take the damn test," Ayla said grumpily, both thrilled and terrified at the thought of a baby. She wasn't sure if she was ready, but she knew she wanted Shane's child, but she was terrified that if she was pregnant, that it would end in a miscarriage ... she didn't know if she'd survive that again. "Aya ..." "Three minutes Shane, just let me take the test and we'll know for sure," Ayla said softly. Shane nodded and backed out of the room, and when Ayla opened the door a moment later, she found him sitting on the floor, his head bowed to his knees. She crouched down in front of him and he looked up. "Are you ready to find out if we're having a baby?" Ayla asked quietly. Shane shook his head and then nodded; Ayla chuckled and then stood up. "Ayla, before you go in there, I want you to know that pregnant or not, I love you and I can't wait to marry you," Shane said, his voice so dry that the words sounded hoarse. "I know. I love you too," Ayla murmured. They walked into the bathroom, then hand in hand, peered down at the pregnancy test. It was negative. The Balance in Love Ch. 06 Thanks so much for the patience everyone! My life is finally getting to a really good place and I'm finally feeling like it's okay to take some time for myself and write. I owe that to a great guy that I'm madly in love with and have been seeing for the last year and a half. He's my Shane. :) I'll try not to let it go too long between updates. ~Ashira * "You look beautiful Ayla," Abby said as she placed a veil over her sister's hair. "Do you think Shane will like it?" Ayla asked. "Girl, Shane's eyes are going to bug out of his head when he sees you in this! You may not make it to the honeymoon before he rips it off you!" Carly exclaimed. "But do you like it?" Rachel asked her friend. "I love it," Ayla answered with a small, nervous smile on her face. "What's with that look?" Abby asked. "The wedding is in two weeks and I'm just now trying on dresses," Ayla answered, trying not to let her anxiousness get to her. "You've been busy, and you found the perfect dress, so stop worrying," Abby scolded her sister. "And two weeks from yesterday, you are marrying your soul mate," Rachel chimed in. Ayla's smile widened and her anxiousness drifted away. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So what did you do today?" Shane asked while they were munching on popcorn as the credits rolled across the screen. "I found my wedding dress and no, you can't see it," Ayla answered as she leaned further into Shane's embrace. "Why not?" Shane wanted to know. "It's bad luck," she murmured. Shane grumbled and pouted a little before he said, "I can't wait to see it on you then take it off of you." "Two more weeks." Ayla's voice was just slightly higher than a whisper and the excitement of it all made her voice shake. "Two more weeks," Shane repeated with a grin. "Where are we going for our honeymoon?" Ayla asked, for what had to have been the tenth time in the last week. "I told you Aya, it's a surprise. You'll see when we get to the airport," Shane answered. "But how will I know what type of clothes to pack?" Ayla wanted to know. "Abby knows and she's going to have your bag packed for you," Shane promised. Ayla pouted a little but her pout quickly turned into a smile when Shane rubbed his hand across her leg. "You're going to love it," Shane added. -2 weeks later- "Abby, I broke a nail!" Ayla exclaimed, her eyes wide and her stomach knotted up nervously. "Breathe Aya," Abby told her sister as she knelt down in front of Ayla, nail file in hand. "I'll fix your nail and then it'll be time for your massage so you'll be all relaxed for Shane." Ayla made a face. "Don't give me that look Aya, I know you're nervous. Let the massage help relax you then we'll get you in your gown and ready to walk down the aisle to your gorgeous soon to be husband," Abby soothed. Ayla took a deep breath and watched as her sister expertly fixed the broken finger nail and repolished it. "Ten minutes to massage!" Abby exclaimed, stood up and turned at the sound of the door opening. "Hey Dad, welcome to the circus," she greeted. "You girls look lovely," Peter said with a smile. "Ayla, I can't believe you're getting married today," he added. "Please don't cry daddy," Ayla murmured. "I'll do my best to contain it. Your mother would be so proud of you both," Peter promised. "Oh dad!" Ayla sniffled. "Don't cry, you'll make your eyes puffy!" Abby exclaimed. "I wish mom was here," Ayla whispered. "She is. She's right here," Peter promised his daughter as he took her hand and held it to her heart. "Your mom will never leave you," he added and gave Ayla a big hug. "Now, you finish getting ready and I'll make sure your grandparents are settled," Peter said before he walked out of the bride's room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Oh my God. I'm getting married. I can't believe that I'm getting married!" Shane paced up and down the groom's suite of the synagogue. "Calm down dude," his best man Derek said with a laugh. "Have a drink," he added and handed Shane a shot glass filled with amber liquor. "Thanks," Shane muttered and downed the shot. "What has you all stressed? You're about to marry the girl you love and take her off on an awesome trip," Derek reminded Shane. "I know that, and I'm ready to marry Ayla, it just all hit me at once. I don't know how to describe it. You'll know once it's your turn," Shane said and ran his hand through his hair. "Just breathe," Derek suggested as he shrugged into the jacket of his tux and fidgeted with his tie. -2 hours later- "Are you ready? Because it isn't too late to stop this," Peter asked Ayla. "I'm ready." Ayla's voice was a firm whisper that shook just slightly. "You look beautiful, just like your mother when I met her under the Chuppah," Peter said softly as they walked towards the aisle. They stopped in front of the closed doors to the sanctuary and Peter looked at the attendant. "Lets go," he instructed. The doors were opened; Peter and Ayla began their descent down the aisle to where Shane stood, halfway between the door and the Beema. Ayla slowly walked in a circle around Shane the customary seven times and when she was finished, Shane and Ayla walked hand in hand to the Beema, faced the Rabbi, and with excited smiles, waited for him to begin the ceremony. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "So where are we going?" Ayla asked sleepily as the limo sped down the freeway towards the airport. "You'll see in an hour," Shane promised, kissed Ayla softly and brushed his thumb across her cheek. "I love you," he murmured. Ayla smiled. "I love you too," she replied, her eyes held a happy and dreamy look and she snuggled against him. Ayla gasped when she saw the flight information at the gate. "We're going to Jerusalem?!" Ayla gasped. "Rome first, then Jerusalem. You said you wanted to go to the Holy Land so I figured out how to make it happen," Shane confirmed. He grinned when Ayla squealed and threw her arms around his neck. "You are amazing! The best! You are absolutely the best!" she exclaimed. "It's all for you baby, all for you," Shane murmured as he held her tight.