2 comments/  10528 views/  0 favorites

Secrets Ch. 01

By: Katya_Kokoff



Phillip glanced at the clock, over an hour to go until lunch. Folding his newspaper, he dropped it on the desk and sighed. He had to admit, this was the easiest job he had ever had, but also the most tedious. He was not the most hard-working of men, but even so he needed something to occupy his mind. When Phillip had arrived that morning, his in-tray was bare. Fortunately Joy had bustled in at that point with the mail, reciting her daily litany of appointments and deadlines before bustling out again, leaving a few morsels in the in-tray for Phillip to deal with. 

She had also left him with a slightly stiff cock. To look at her, Phillip's secretary was an unremarkable woman in her late forties; short blonde hair and sensible shoes, slightly on the plump side of average. But her eyes always held a twinkle, and her voice had a lilt suggestive of hidden depths. That, combined with the sweet, earthy scent she always wore, was enough to engender all kinds of fantasies in Phillip.

As usual, it had taken him barely an hour to deal with his workload. Then he managed to fill another twenty minutes or so with his first scan of the newspaper, just reading the articles that caught his eye. Still bored, he went through the paper again, this time reading everything he had skipped the first time. That was marginally more interesting than doing nothing. Finally, he had resorted to the business section; some of his colleagues read nothing else, but to Phillip five minutes of that was as good as a cup of cocoa before bedtime.

Phillip still had an hour to kill and nothing to kill it with. Idly, he picked up the paper again and found himself flicking through the classified ads near the back. God, he thought, how bored must I be to do that? But then a new group of adverts caught his eye, a section headed 'Personal' that appeared to offer something different to the usual garden sheds and dining-room tables. The words 'Hot Chat' appeared over a smudgy black and white photo of what was clearly a model, below which was a number. Phillip sneered. He'd read all about chat-lines, how sad lonely men got their rocks off talking to sad lonely women, all of them pretending to be someone else. But in a corner of Phillip's mind a small voice was telling him not to be judgemental; don't knock it until you've tried it.

Phillip sneered again. He was the kind of man to whom it came naturally, his face falling into that cynical, sarcastic expression by default. Still, he thought, in the interests of fairness, I should do some research before I condemn these pathetic losers out of hand. He dialled the number, careful to use his own phone rather than the landline. He could just imagine himself explaining that phone-bill to his boss! 

The number rang several times and Phillip was about to hang up when he heard a recorded voice.

"Welcome to the Singles Bar," the female voice purred. Phillip snorted derisively. "Press number one to chat to horny girls, online now!"

Phillip didn't wait to see if there were any other options. He pressed number one. The next step was to "record an introduction for other callers to hear." That stopped him for a second. Shit, he thought, what if someone recognises my voice?

It actually took him several attempts to get through the menu system and record his message. He decided he would be 'Gary', a suitably anonymous name. 

At last, 'Gary' got to hear other people's messages. He found the way it worked quite interesting; everyone recorded their own personal message, then you got to hear everyone else's messages in order. If you fancied talking to someone you had the option to send them a message, or even talk live. Most of the callers seemed to be men, but there were a smattering of women. Phillip heard nothing to change his opinion about the kind of people who used chat-lines, though that small voice was still in the back of his mind. You ARE the kind of person who uses chat-lines now, 'Gary'.

Suddenly, a recorded voice was telling him he had a message from 'Julie'.

"Hi Gary," Julie was saying. "You sound nice. If you would like to chat, come on back."

Phillip held the phone away from him and stared at it in astonishment. One of these sad creeps actually had the nerve to try and talk to him! He quickly ended the call, but that didn't silence the voice in his mind. What did you expect 'Gary', that's what people do on chat-lines. They chat.

Five minutes passed. Nothing happened. Thirty minutes until lunch. Phillip found himself back on the chat-line. There was Julie again. "Gary? Hi, I sent you a message, but you didn't reply. I just wondered if you would like to chat." Oh, that's just pitiful, he thought. She's so fucking desperate. He cancelled the message and quickly moved on.

Then he came across something different. A husky female voice, no name, but just begging some horny guy to come and have some fun with her. Phillip sniggered like a schoolboy as he recorded a message for her.

"Hi baby," he breathed, putting on his best porn-star voice. "I've got ten inches of rock-hard throbbing meat for you. What would you do with that?" A couple more key presses and the message was on its way.

Phillip listened to the rest of the callers while he was waiting for a reply. There were a few new ones, he supposed people must be leaving and joining the line all the time. There was one in particular that intrigued him, some woman offering "no-strings fun to generous guys." It sounded to Phillip as if she was looking for a sugar-daddy. Or maybe she was a hooker? That made sense to Phillip, for a hooker to advertise on a chat-line frequented by lonely, horny men. Though he couldn't for the life of him imagine any of these losers having the guts to approach any woman in real life. Strangely, Phillip felt a kind of bond with this woman; like him she was there for a purpose, not just to get her jollies. He thought of sending her a message, but he didn't know what to say to her. He didn't want her to think he was as sad as the rest of them.

Phillip moved on. Now it was just the usual bunch of weirdoes. The woman he had sent a message to seemed to have disappeared. Maybe he would message the hooker after all. To his surprise, Phillip realised he had an erection, quite a powerful one too.

Then Joy walked in. Phillip had been lounging in his comfortable office chair, almost horizontal. He suddenly sat bolt upright, fumbling to end the call while at the same time trying to hide the tent in his trousers.

Joy gave him a sideways glance, but made no other indication that she thought he'd been doing anything odd. Phillip scooted his chair close to the desk just in time, before Joy leaned across him to empty his in-tray. His nostrils were filled with her scent, and he could feel his cock twitch beneath the desk. Joy straightened up, her breasts only inches from his face. Phillip daren't move, he was so aroused now that the slightest movement might send him over the edge and he would come in his pants.

Luckily Joy chose that moment to turn away and hurry from the office. Through the open door he could see her putting on her coat to go to lunch. Inwardly, Phillip let out a huge sigh of relief. As soon as Joy had left the outer office, he got up and locked the door then sank back down into his chair, unbuckling his belt and pulling down the zip to relieve the tension. His cock was still straining against the material of his shorts, so he quickly eased them down his legs, allowing his best friend to stand up straight.

Phillip took himself in hand, closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. He had been holding his breath ever since Joy had come into the office. Almost imperceptibly, Phillip's hand began to move up and down as he slipped into one of his favourite fantasies.

In his daydream, Joy was sitting on the corner of his desk, staring at his throbbing tool in wonder and delight. Slowly and seductively, she began to pull her skirt up along her thighs, at last revealing the pale flesh at the tops of her sheer black stockings. This was the Big Question in Phillip's universe; never mind 'Is there a God?' or 'Why are we here?' All Phillip wanted to know was 'Does Joy wear stockings?'

Now she was straddling him, sitting on his thighs with his cock standing proud in front of her, rubbing against the front of her skirt. She took hold of his member then, gently squeezing him, a drop of pre-cum trickling onto her hand.

Phillip reached up to cup her breasts, surprised at how firm they were for a woman of her age. He could feel her hard nipples through the material of her blouse; of course, she wasn't wearing a bra. Joy placed her own hands over his and together they explored her breasts, kneading them, squeezing them.

Joy then inched her way up Phillip's body, tearing open her blouse and letting her breasts spill free to rub against his face. He took one large brown nipple in his mouth and gently nibbled on it, at the same time becoming aware that his erect cock was resting against Joy's pussy. One of Joy's hands was fumbling about between their bodies, and when he felt her wetness against his cock he realised she had pulled her panties to one side. 

Joy lifted herself up then and Phillip momentarily found himself suffocating between her fleshy mounds before she lowered herself again, effortlessly sliding her wet pussy onto his shaft. Joy's entire weight was pressing down on Phillip's pelvis and he could barely move. But he didn't need to, as she began to rock her hips back and forth, grinding herself against him. 

As she rode him, Joy lowered her face to his, slipping her tongue between his lips. He could detect a faint taste of peppermint on her breath as she explored his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his face against hers. Now she was starting to pant, her lips still sealed to his, her breath hot in his mouth. Phillip slid his hands down to her buttocks, squeezing them together and pulling her down onto him, arching his back to thrust himself deeper inside her.

Suddenly Joy pulled her mouth away from him and let out a single gasp. Her muscles spasmed as she came, tightening around his cock as it began to spurt, milking him of his cum. Phillip clenched his teeth while his balls emptied, gradually relaxing until he found himself once more horizontal in the chair. Alone, of course.

Phillip sighed and thought of his wife. Little chance of a fuck tonight, Anne would be at one of her interminable charity meetings, 'Save the Donkeys' or 'Feed Starving Children', some bloody stupid thing like that. 

* * * * *

Anne envied her husband. Phillip had an exciting job, a successful career; he was always at meetings, managing projects, all kinds of things that Anne was only dimly aware of. What did she have? Yes, she had her charity work, but even that left her with time on her hands. She could try and get a 'proper' job, but she had no training, no qualifications and no experience. Anne had been married all her adult life, devoted to being Phillip's wife and Melanie's mother. But Melanie didn't seem to need her anymore, she was always out with her friends; even when she was at home she was sullen and difficult. And being Phillip's wife wasn't exactly stimulating; they never talked, never went out together, all Phillip wanted to do when he got home was watch TV. Or the other thing. 

Anne had never particularly enjoyed sex, in fact she had never had an orgasm with her husband. Once or twice a month she would masturbate, but the wonderful feelings she got from her orgasms were soon cancelled out by the guilt she felt. Anne had been brought up in a rather prim and proper home; sex had never been mentioned, except when her parents had felt it necessary to lecture their children on the perils of intercourse. Anne had been firmly indoctrinated with the idea that although sex was not, in itself, dirty, it wasn't something that decent people enjoyed. 

Anne was sitting at the desk in the small room she used for her charity work, the room that Phillip sneeringly referred to as her 'office'. Well, it was her office, there were shelves with files and even a waste-paper basket. She might not have a secretary, or attend meetings with important people, but Anne felt her work was important, in its way. She looked at the blank screen in front of her and sighed. She should really be doing some background research before her charity meeting tonight. Phillip wouldn't be happy of course, he didn't like her going out. Not that he paid her any attention when she stayed in.

Anne spent the next hour looking for the information she needed, making notes as she went along. Everything was going well, until she accidentally clicked on the wrong link and found herself at a strange website. She was about to back out, when she realised it was some sort of online shop. Anne loved shopping, it was her one weakness, and as long as Phillip was earning money, she would spend it. Anne clicked on 'Enter' and waited for the main page to download.

At first, Anne didn't know what she was looking at. Apparently it was something called a 'Purple Porpoise', and cost £24.99. She stared at it for several seconds, then the penny dropped and she felt her cheeks redden. Anne tore her eyes from the garish purple 'thing', and looked at the menu options at the side of the screen. 'Sex toys', 'Lingerie', 'Videos & DVDs'. This was clearly some kind of online sex-shop! Quickly Anne closed down all the open windows and sat staring at the screen. Her face still felt flushed, and she could feel her heart racing. She took a deep breath, and allowed herself to calm down.

Carefully and methodically, Anne logged back on and continued her work, forcing her mind back on track. Five minutes later, she found herself looking at the Purple Porpoise again. Unbidden thoughts filled her brain; what would it feel like, would it be warm, cold, soft, hard? How would it feel between her legs, sliding up and down her labia? In her mind, Anne could see that obscene, bloated head nestling between her pussy lips. My goodness, she thought, I feel so dirty!

Quickly Anne shut down the computer. A shower, that's what I need, she thought, hurrying to the bedroom. Not a cold shower, I don't need that, just something to cool me down a little.

As Anne removed her blouse and bra, she caught sight of herself in the bedroom mirror. Her breasts were large and heavy, and inevitably at her age, just a little big saggy. She stood facing the mirror, cupping a breast in each hand, and began to squeeze them. Gently at first, then more roughly, mashing them together, pushing them out of shape. She stopped then and watched, fascinated, as her nipples hardened, becoming erect like tiny penises.

Anne unzipped her jeans and let them drop to her ankles. As she stooped to take them off, her thighs rubbed together, sending a tingle through her body. She stood naked in front of the mirror, feet slightly apart; one hand pinching a nipple, the other stroking her belly. She stayed like that for some time, swaying back and forth as her hands moved across her body. Suddenly, Anne came back to earth with a bump. What am I doing, she thought. What would Phillip say? What would Melanie say if she knew how her mother had been behaving?

Anne went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The water was cold at first, but Anne didn't care; she hoped it would calm her down, maybe wash away her dirty thoughts. She looked down to see icy rivulets running down the slope of her breasts, raising gooseflesh. Her nipples were becoming hard again, and there was a taut feeling in her belly. 

The water began to run hotter now, and Anne began to lather herself. At first, she kept her mind on mundane things. What would Phillip want to eat tonight, would Melanie be staying in or going out again? Melanie was in her final year at school, and Anne was a little concerned that her daughter might not be spending enough time on schoolwork. 

By now, Anne had lathered herself all over. Once again, one hand was cupping a breast while the other roamed lower over her body. But the warmth of the lather, the slimy feel of it on her skin, the heady scent of the soap, all combined to put Anne into a different frame of mind; she almost felt as if she were someone else. 

Anne parted her thighs and her hand plunged between them, the tips of her fingers stroking up and down along her lips. Her other hand caressed her body, moving down from her breast, along her flank, the feather-light touch sending ripples of pleasure across her skin.

Anne leaned back against the wall of the shower, every sensation a delight now, even the shock of the cold glass against her warm, wet skin. She spread her legs wider, at the same time pulling her pussy lips apart and slipping a finger inside. As Anne finger-fucked herself, the heel of her palm rubbed against her clitoris, making her gasp. She continued sliding her finger in and out for a while, feeling her arousal gradually increase. 

When she was ready, Anne stood directly under the shower and allowed the hot streams to course over her body, rinsing the lather away. Supporting herself with one arm propped against the wall of the shower, Anne leaned forward and began to rub her clit with the very tips of her fingers. Almost immediately she felt a familiar sensation spreading through her body. She began to rub faster, panting as she frigged herself to orgasm. Anne's climax came almost immediately, forcing a single, drawn-out moan from her throat. She carried on furiously rubbing, stretching out the moment as long as possible, until finally her orgasm subsided. 

Anne stood up straight, her knees shaking. It had been a long time since she had had such a powerful climax, but as she towelled herself dry, she tried to force her mind away from all thought of sex. She knew the guilt would inevitably come, but at least she could put it off for a while.

Back in the bedroom, Anne searched her underwear drawer for a clean pair of panties. At first she could find nothing suitable, all her lingerie seemed much too sexy; she needed to wear something less provocative. Anne had to kneel to reach the back of the drawer, and as she did so her towel fell away. She was still overheated from her session in the shower, and the feel of the cool air on her hot skin was indescribable. 

Seemingly of its own volition, Anne's hand dropped between her legs and she sat down on the bedroom floor, her back propped against the side of the bed, legs spread wide. Her labia were puffy and red from the hot shower, and the merest touch of her fingers was enough to make her squirm. Anne's clitoris was still swollen and sensitive, and as she began to rub it, she could feel herself rising towards another climax. 

Anne's body was no longer under her control and her free hand waved aimlessly in the air until it became entangled with the quilt. Anne dragged the bedclothes onto the floor around her, swathing herself in a warm, comforting cocoon. Now her heels were drumming against the floor as the muscles in her thighs contracted. A hot flush covered Anne's body, beginning in her belly and spreading across her breasts to her throat. A loud groan spilled from Anne's lips as she climaxed, making her gasp for air before giving another groan, again and again, gasp then groan as her orgasm seemed to go on for ever.

Anne stayed there for some time, wrapped in the bedclothes, cosy and safe, her body still filled with a warm glow. A contented smile spread across her face as she felt herself becoming drowsy, until finally she fell asleep. 

Secrets Ch. 01-02



Chapter 1

Lookin'

"I'll have a black coffee and a Danish donut. No, wait...make that a filled long john, those are the best this time of the morning." With a slowness he lacked Bruce rubbed his right eye with the back of his hand. 

She was perfect. Her body had the right curves. Her hair was the right length and those tits! They moved when she walked. With care Bruce moved just a little in his chair so that he could have the best view of her ass as she walked away. 

He swallowed hard when she rounded the corner and disappeared into the kitchen. He'd eaten in this same restaurant everyday for the past week just to see her walk around and smile at the customers. In this time he'd learned she had no real personality, but damn did she have a body. 

Thoughts of her in his bed laying naked and wanting him caused some distress. But he kept it hidden beneath the table and was silent.

Then suddenly she was before him sitting his food and coffee on the table. He'd not even seen her approach, damn. How had he missed her? 

"Will you be having anything else sir?" she asked in a soft sexy voice laced with sarcasm and disinterest.

"I'm good," was his only reply. Why start something he knew he wasn't going to finish. He had to get back to his regular job in just a few days, so a roll in the hay with her was out. 

He sipped his coffee and gazed at the paper, glancing up every once in a while when he smelled her perfume or heard her voice nearby. He wanted to get in all the glances he could before it was lost to him forever.

"Would you like cream in your coffee sir or do you prefer it black?" He glanced up and watched her lay two containers of cream before a new customer seated in the next booth.

Maybe he'd order an egg...

The customer only nodded never even bothering to glance upward. He had no idea what he was missing Bruce assured himself and took another sip of his coffee which was growing cold.

Nothing about her advertised her sexual preference or tastes. She was all business, even to her associates. A smile never curved her fully rounded lips. A blush never broke on her smooth clear whitish skin. She was so professional it made his pride ache.

"Hu...excuse me...miss?" now he felt stupid wanting her to refill his coffee when she appeared to be very busy seating another customer. Yet she smiled and assured him with a nod that she'd return in a few minutes to see to his request. This woman deserved a raise. He glanced beneath the table and realized he'd been giving her one all week, but those didn't pay the bills, or keep clothes and food in on her back and in her stomach. So what really made her tick?

"Yes sir," she replied as she walked back to his table carrying the coffee pot, "what can I do for you?"

A calmness surrounded him as images of what she could do for him bloomed in his mind. He refrained from announcing them and pointed, instead, at his coffee cup. With grace she refilled it and moved away. 

She has such style in her walk it almost made him rise again, but he glanced at the head lines and was able to control it.

Central Packers were once again beaten by the braves the headline read and Bruce knew he was in for some long discussions once he arrived home.

With care he laid the wrinkled paper back on the table and fished in his pocket for a tip. He might not be able to fondle those tits, but he could at least tip her enough to buy some sexy undies. Why didn't they have girls like her back home?

Several more customers entered the diner, and Bruce realized it was time for him to leave. As much as he didn't want to leave the free show behind he did have work to do and he had ethics.

"Have a good day sir," he heard her call out as he moved toward the door and fresh air. "Come again," said another waitress nearer to the door then she, and smiled warmly at him as he stepped into the sunlight.

The sun felt good on his face as he stepped towards the car and withdrew the keys from his pocket. His scheduled classes began today at 11 am and ended at 4 pm. He'd gone over his notes already and was prepared for questions and assistance if needed. 

Why he'd been the one to have to travel surprised him as John was the better teacher in the field and had wanted to take the trip. He was happy teaching at home and watching football on TV every Saturday night or at least when possible.

But the board of directors had voted him in to take the teaching assignment and so here he was teaching language arts in a city he couldn't even remember the name of.

He turned the ignition key and the car started at once.

Worked waited for no one, he pulled into traffic and headed towards work.

*

Chapter 2

Tuesday Morning

Tuesday morning and all things appeared to be bright and sunny. Coffee was served in the hotel lobby. Bruce felt uncomfortable. Hotel stays were just not his cupa tea. He'd be thrilled to be at home right now grading papers and working on a quiz.

Keeping a journal was something he'd adopted back in high school when he felt the urge to murder the librarian over a book he just felt he had to have and she'd just loaned to some other kid who wouldn't enjoy it. In the end it had been returned all beat up and muddy. He had, of course, never murdered anyone except in works and printed material that were for 'his eyes only'. Later he'd felt the fool. But writing it down helped and so he'd kept at it now for over twenty years. 

"More coffee?" The hotel clerk asked before she dumped the remaining mixture down the sink. Bruce just shook his head no and got up with his journal in hand and headed towards his car parked just outside the door. 

More sex is what she needed he decided as he listened to the engine turn over and catch in the rented car he'd picked up last week. She appeared to be all snippy and guarded. Most women who didn't get enough sex acted like that. 

"Damn," listen to his own thoughts, had he turned into a woman who needed sex. He was here to teach not evaluate everyone's need for sex. He tried to turn his mind onto a different subject by rewinding yesterday's class and how well it'd gone in his mind. 

No luck there, the beauty with big tits kept interrupting his thoughts with the wiggle of her hips and the blank look on her face as she worked. He watched her go from table to table collecting orders and serving her customers. 

The traffic light turned green and the cars around him began to move. The diner was just up ahead. Without even thinking about it Bruce pulled up and stopped the car. These old diners were a thing from the past, but so majestic in the early sun's light that he simply couldn't help stopping for just a moment, he reasoned, to snap a photo, while he was here why not grab a cup of coffee and a donut. 

He pulled the camera out of a compartment in his dash and prepared to snap a picture. The sun was over his shoulder and gave the restaurant the added light of mystery. Several people were milling about in the front and just to one side a familiar shape stood waiting to go inside.

He zoomed in for a close up. Yes, it was her! She was smiling. He'd never seen her smile before. It felt like a rose opening its petals to the sun. His heart warmed in just that glance yet he never snapped a picture, just kept watching. He felt like all his yesterdays and tomorrows were lost somewhere in that smile. He had to capture it to live. He licked his lips several times and started clicking the camera. 

Who was she talking to? It was another employee from the restaurant he reasoned out because they each had on the same pinkish uniform with white skirts. The wind blew and her hair fanned out around her like tail feathers on a peacock. The sun captured it and reflected off of it in such a way as to give it vivid colors where none existed. He felt memorized.

Then she opened the door and entered. His world collapsed. He threw the camera back inside the car and frowned. How could this be happening? He'd never been taken by one woman so completely. In all his years of living alone, staying single, he'd never been this attracted to any woman like he was attracted to this one. It was good he was leaving in; he counted the days up in his mind, three days. No woman had the right to capture his mind like she did. Nor, did she have the right to make his life so difficult with images of her nude and being fucked by him in his bed. 

He walked towards the restaurant, knowing now that he had to look at her again or feel guilty for the rest of the day, because he didn't get his share of 'paradise.' 

Several of the normals greeted him with smiles and waves as they too walked in and were seated immediately. He waited. She appeared busy seating an old couple near the food bar and he wanted her to walk with him to his regular seat, or somewhere near his regular seat.

"Sir?" a kind waitress asked as she prepared to escort him to the nearest table. 

"I'm not ready yet," he admitted and motioned for her to escort the couple behind him to the nearest table.

Several times she returned and moved people waiting to tables in the restaurant or to the bar stools located along the side of the restaurant where folks, such as he, normally sat. 

After about ten minutes everyone was seated and the waitresses began collecting orders. He watched her spin around the room as if she were on roller skates. Her curves never evaded his eye. She was like a diamond in the rough! She set him on fire. 

He waited until she came towards the entrance again and then moved to be seated, smiling at her as she approached, almost out of breath.

"Sir?" she questioned as she grabbed menus and waited for a moment.

"Seat me next to the window if you can," he found himself saying as he pointed toward what he knew to be her section of the dinning room. 

"Of course sir," she replied and started walking in that direction in a hurried pace.

To touch her would make him melt he was sure of that. So he kept his hands to himself and tried to look and act professional.

"Nice day isn't it." He commented as he slid into the corner booth and she handed him a menu. 

"Lovely," she replied and didn't look up. "I'll be back to check your order soon." With an ease he didn't have she moved away quickly and headed towards the kitchen.

He watched her retreating back as she moved. Something appeared different about her today, but he wasn't sure just yet what it was. Her hair, now tied in a ponytail, streamed down her back like a snake ready to strike at any given moment. Her hips moved like a pussy cat in heat and her legs were long and...

She had a new tattoo on her ankle. 

She appeared seconds later from the kitchen carrying a serving tray and several cloth napkins over her right arm. He tried to look again at her ankle. This was the first sign that he'd seen on her that made her appear, 'human.'

She walked past him and assured him she'd be back in just a moment to take his order. He nodded and tried to see her ankle as she walked by. Was that rope burns?

He didn't get the chance to look closer, because she rounded a corner and disappeared. Did she have rope burns just above the tattoo? He searched the table for the local paper and found it tucked in with the salt and pepper containers. He withdrew it and realized he was shaking. With care he laid the paper back down on the table and folded his hands in his lap to hide them.

"May I take your order sir?" He looked up with a start. "UH...I'll have..." a blank surfaced across his mind and he was lost. 

"Sir?" she questioned and waited a few minutes more for his order.

Damn, what was wrong with him? He swallowed hard and replied, "Same as yesterday." 

"As you wish sir," she answered which seemed very odd to him. Like a butterfly she moved away from his table visiting many on her way towards the kitchen. What secrets did she hold he wondered and could he find out just one of them?



Secrets Ch. 01



This is my first attempt at writing something other than medical articles or my Thesis. I have always wanted to write a good story. Hopefully this accomplishes that. When I decided to write, a friend of mine who teaches High School English told me to just write what I know.

So, here goes. I hope you enjoy. Unfortunately, there is no sex in Chapter 1. This is a true story, although, the names have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent... ;-)

BirdmanRN

*

Alex Young RN, MSN, CNS, CCRN trudged up the back stairs to the ICU physician break room. As a CNS (Clinical Nurse Specialist), Alex covered the night shift four days a week and another CNS covered the other three, so that the surgeons didn't have to take night call, except for surgeries and that left them available for office hours and unit rounds during the day. Having CNS's cover the unit at night was a new program at the hospital and was starting to catch on. Other services within the hospital were looking into similar programs.

As a staff nurse, Alex worked in the Transplant ICU at Rush Medical Center for years and made friends with the director of Transplant Surgery, Gregory Tanner MD. When Alex finished his Master's Degree in Nursing as a Critical Care CNS, it was only natural for him to seek out employment with the Transplant surgery group. Dr Tanner hired him right away and then spearheaded the night shift call program with CNS's, which ensured that someone from their group would be on the Transplant ICU twenty-four hours a day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex was tired. This was his fourth twelve hour night shift in a row. On top of that, he hadn't been sleeping. He missed Mark terribly and found it hard to sleep when he wasn't there. Mark Schmidt is his partner and had been since they graduated college five years earlier. Mark was the director of Marketing at the hospital. As far as he was concerned, Alex felt as if he had found his soul mate and intended to stay with Mark for the rest of his life.

Mark took a four day weekend and went home to Gurnee for his younger sister's wedding. He also planned to come out to his parents. The Schmidt's had been after him to find a nice girl and settle down ever since he graduated from college. They also wanted him to move closer to home and couldn't understand why he wanted to live in Chicago. He told Alex the evening before he left that he was tired of hiding and that he felt he owed it to his parents to finally come out of the closet. Although Alex agreed, since he came out in high school, he didn't agree with the timing of this revelation. Everyone was going to be stressed as it was with the wedding, and he told Mark that he shouldn't distract from his sister's big day.

Alex hoped everything was going well with Mark. He hadn't heard from him in two days, which was strange. They usually called or texted each other multiple times a day or night, depending on which one was working. "Oh well," Alex thought. Mark was probably just busy with family. He was due back tomorrow evening and Alex had several days off after tonight, so they could catch up properly.

A sudden alarm brought Alex from his thoughts of Mark.

"Code Blue...Code Blue...Code Blue. Transplant ICU room 225," was announced overhead.

Alex shoved his jacket and back pack into his locker and was just about to lock it, when the intercom in the break room came on.

"Alex, are you in there?" asked Jennifer, the Unit Secretary.

"Yeah, I'm here," Alex responded. "What do you need?"

"We need you STAT in 225!" Jennifer exclaimed. "All of the docs are gone already!"

"Well, shit," thought Alex. Kip Preston, one of the residents, was supposed to stay until Alex came in to relieve him. This was not the first time the resident had done this. "I am going to bring this up to Dr. Tanner in the morning during rounds. This is unacceptable and unprofessional," he thought.

Alex grabbed his stethoscope and lab jacket, and then headed in the direction of room 225. As he entered the room, the nurses were well under way with the Code. CPR was already in progress and a Respiratory Therapist was providing respirations with an Ambu bag. He could see that this was the Kidney transplant patient from yesterday. When he went home this morning, the patient was sitting up in a chair and looking pretty good.

"What happened?" he asked.

Wendy, the day shift Charge Nurse responded, "We had just gotten him back to bed when his heart rate began to elevate. He has urinated a lot today, and I dipped his urine for Specific Gravity, which was normal so it wasn't DI. He just seemed a little dehydrated, so I gave him a fluid bolus. About half way through the bolus, his QRS started to widen and then he became unresponsive"

"Ok," said Alex. "When did he lose his pulse?"

"Right before we called the Code," Wendy said as she checked her watch. "That was six minutes ago."

"Has he had any drugs?" asked Alex.

"Yes," replied Wendy. "He had an amp of Epinephrine three minutes ago."

"Ok, stop CPR and let's check his rhythm," said Alex.

Kelly, the nurse currently doing CPR stopped and everyone looked at the monitor.

"We have Ventricular Tachycardia. Kelly, can you feel a pulse?" asked Alex.

"No, Alex, there is no pulse," said Kelly.

"Alright, we need to shock and Wendy, draw up 40 units of Vasopressin," directed Alex. "Everyone clear the patient! Shocking!" 

After making sure that everyone was clear, Alex shocked the patient with 120 joules. "Resume CPR and give him the Vasopressin," said Alex. "RT, are you getting good ventilations with the Ambu?" he asked Tammy the Respiratory Therapist.

"He is a little tough to ventilate," replied Tammy. "Would you like to intubate?"

"Yeah, we might as well," responded 

Alex. "Someone go call the Respiratory Therapy department and have a ventilator brought to the room. Tammy, open the E-box and give me a #8 endotracheal tube and a curved tongue blade. When I am ready to intubate, I want you to stop CPR. Ready? Stop CPR." 

Alex quickly inserted the endotracheal tube and checked capnography to ensure that he was in the proper place. "The monitor still shows V Tach," he said. "We need to shock again. This time Wendy, give him 300mg of Amiodarone. Everyone stand clear. Shocking!"

"Ok, resume CPR. Tammy, I will bag while you set up the ventilator. I want PRVC mode with a rate of 24, Tidal volume 500mL, 5 of Peep and 100% oxygen," said Alex.

After the ventilator was ready and the patient was breathing with the machine, they did another rhythm check which showed Sinus Tachycardia and also had a pulse. An Amiodarone drip was started at 1mg per minute, and Alex left to go find the family and give them an update.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that evening, after Alex finished rounding on all of the other patients on the unit and spoke with the nurses to see if they needed anything, he sat down with a cup of coffee to write some progress notes. Everything seemed to be running smoothly as the unit fell into its overnight routine of assessments, treatments and medications.

Kathy Simpson, the night shift Charge Nurse sat down next to Alex with her own cup of coffee and let out a big sigh. "You did a great job with that Code earlier Alex," she said. "I just knew I trained you well."

"Thanks Kathy," grinned Alex. Kathy had been his preceptor when he first came to the unit five years ago. He was always envious of her knowledge and it was her suggestion that he get his Graduate Degree.

"So, when does Mark come home?" Kathy asked.

"Tomorrow evening. He is coming back on the North Shore. I have to pick him up at the station at 8:15," he said.

"Anything special planned?" Kathy asked raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, I thought I would make Lasagna. That's his favorite, and then move on to something that involves a lot of kissing and...," he said, deliberately leaving the end of the sentence open and wagging his eyebrows.

"I can only imagine," Kathy laughed.

Suddenly, Jennifer poked her head around the corner. "Alex, the hospital operator has a doctor from another hospital on the line for you."

"Thanks Jennifer," he said and picked up the phone receiver. "Hello, this is Alex Young. How may I help you?"

"Hey Doc, this is Mike Connor. I am a Hospitalist at Northwestern Lake Forrest Hospital," was the reply from the other end of the line.

"Sorry Mike, I am not a doctor. I am a Clinical Nurse Specialist," said Alex. "I am on call this evening. How can I help you?"

"Oh, I thought I would be speaking to a Resident," said Dr. Connor.

"Well, the Transplant group here has CNS's that cover the unit at night. I assure you that aside from doing surgery, I can handle anything here. What's up?" he said.

"Ok then," said Dr. Connor. "We have a guy here in our ICU in liver failure from a suicide attempt. It seems he took two full bottles of extra strength Acetaminophen, and then locked himself in a hotel room for 18 hours. The family had to have hotel management open the door when he wouldn't respond to calls or knocks at the door. They found him there drunk with the two empty bottles. This guy knew what he was doing. We would like to send him to you to be worked up for a liver transplant that is, if one can be found before he dies."

"Ok. I can accept him as a patient. We have an open room here," said Alex. "I am not familiar with your hospital. Where are you located?"

"Oh, right," said Dr. Connor. "We are located up in Gurnee. The patient's name is Mark Schmidt. He is 28 years old. His liver enzyme levels are..."

Alex didn't hear any more. He had dropped the receiver with a gasp and Kathy looked over at him in shock.

"Alex, are you alright sweetie?" asked Kathy.

End of Chapter 1 



Secrets Ch. 02



Thank you to everyone that read Chapter 1. I hope it was enjoyable and that you have returned to see what happens with Alex next. Also, I would like to give a big thank you to TMcCallahan for your insight and suggestions. It means a lot to me. So, here we go...

BirdmanRN

*

Alex's first instinct was to disbelieve what Dr. Connor just told him. But, his whole body was shaking as tears welled up in his eyes and an unwavering sense of loss filled his head. "Oh babe, what have you done? This just can't be," he thought.

Kathy sat there and watched Alex struggle with his emotions in confusion and reached out to tentatively touch his arm. "Alex? Honey, what is it?" she asked softly.

Alex looked at her with the tears that finally spilled over and ran unchecked down his cheeks and whispered, "Oh, Kathy. Mark... I can't do this," and started to sob, his shoulders shaking and his face contorted into a mask of pain.

"Alex, why don't you go to the break room and wash your face, and then have a seat where it is quiet and you won't be bothered. I will finish this phone call and let the other nurses know that you are unavailable for a while," Kathy said. Alex just nodded and stood on shaky legs and headed toward the break room. As he rounded the corner he heard Kathy on the phone saying, "Dr. Connor? I'm sorry, but Alex had to go deal with something... important. My name is Kathy. I am the Charge Nurse and I can finish taking report from you."

~~~~~~~

Alex entered the break room and sank down onto one of the couches. Just four days ago, the two of them had gone out for dinner and then walked hand-in-hand up Michigan Avenue afterward looking in shop windows. They were a typical couple in love, sharing an evening together and everything was right with the world...

Mark was all smiles that evening, the day before he left for his sister's wedding, as he tried to persuade Alex into Tiffany's to "shop".

"What could we possibly need to buy in Tiffany's," Alex asked.

"Oh, I'm thinking that when we take vacation, we should go up to Canada to Niagara Falls," Mark said. With that, he got down on his knee, right in the middle of pedestrian traffic along Michigan Ave in front of the Tiffany's window and asked, "Alex, babe, will you marry me?"

Alex looked down on his beautiful lover's face and saw the love that Mark had for him. How could he refuse the man that he intended to spend the rest of his life with? Of course, he said "yes, I will marry you Mark!"

With a look of triumph on his face, Mark jumped up and grabbed Alex swinging him around before planting a smoldering kiss on his lips. A small crowd gathered during Mark's proposal and broke out in cheers when Alex accepted the proposal. At that moment in time, Alex had never been happier.

Later, as they returned home, Mark barely got the front door closed when Alex pushed him up against the wall and leaned in to kiss him. He brushed Mark's soft lips with his and moved along the line of his jaw to his ear and whispered, "I need you now Mark." Grabbing his hand, he led Mark down the hall to the bedroom they shared.

Once in the bedroom, Alex turned and resumed kissing his lover. He lightly ran his hands up Mark's arms and then began to unbutton his shirt while trailing a line of soft kisses down his neck and every inch of flesh exposed as his shirt opened on Mark's smooth chest.

When he got to Mark's nipples, he licked and nipped at one, while pinching and twisting the other eliciting soft moans from the other man. As he felt the nipple harden into a small nub, he stopped sucking and lightly blew across it making Mark shudder, and then switched and gave its twin the same treatment. He then resumed the trail of kisses as he traveled down across Mark's trim abdomen, following the light brown "treasure trail" that began at his belly button and disappeared into the waist of his jeans. 

Alex sank to his knees and looked up at Mark whose eyes were dilated and filled with lust. While still looking into his eyes, he slowly opened Mark's jeans and pushed them along with his boxers down to his knees. Leaning forward, he nuzzled the patch of soft brown curls at the base of his cock reveling in the musky scent that he loved so much. Mark's hard length lay against his cheek and twitched with each heartbeat and grew harder with each twitch. Beginning at the base, Alex ran his tongue along the length of Mark's cock. When he reached the head, he licked up the sweet pre-cum oozing from the small slit before taking the large mushroom shaped head into his mouth. Meanwhile, he found he found Mark's hairy scrotum with one of his hands and gently rolled the oval shaped orbs one at a time between his fingers.

He looked up at Mark seeking his eyes, but Mark had his eyes closed and his head thrown slightly back moaning with pleasure. Alex took a deep breath and slid his mouth down the length of Mark's cock swallowing reflexively when the head reached the back of his mouth, allowing him to take in all of Mark's eight inches and burying his nose in the soft curls at the base. Mark felt Alex's throat muscles grip the head of his cock and he groaned, "Fuck baby that feels so good."

Alex began to work Mark's cock in earnest, hollowing out his cheeks as he applied suction to the silky hard shaft as he pulled back, and then plunging back down as far as he could letting his saliva coat and slick the hard length. Alex sucked on his cock until Mark couldn't handle the sensation anymore and he reached down and grabbed Alex under his arms and pulled him up to his feet. "If you don't stop that babe, I'm going to cum, and I am not ready yet," he said.

Alex groaned when he was pulled off Mark's cock, but he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "I need you Mark. I need you inside me," he said and began to shed his own clothing. Mark followed suit, and soon they were both standing naked next to the bed. Mark took Alex into his arms and brought their mouths together. Alex opened his mouth slightly and coaxed Mark's tongue into his as he wrapped his arms around his lovers back bringing their bodies together from chest to groin. As their tongues dueled above, their cocks, slick with pre-cum dueled below.

Mark slowly lowered Alex on to the bed, while still kissing him, refusing to break contact. He ran one hand slowly across his chest and down to his tight abdomen before making contact with Alex's rigid cock. Grasping the shaft, he tugged slightly and ran his thumb in circles across the sensitive head, spreading the clear pre-cum he found there. Finally breaking the kiss, he nibbled his way down Alex's neck to his chest through the light dusting of blonde hair where he took each hard nipple into his mouth in turn, before continuing downward stopping only to run his tongue around his belly button. He bypassed Alex's cock and sank lower to nuzzle his scrotum and took each testicle into his mouth one at a time. He could feel Alex's hand on his head guiding him lower. He pushed Alex's legs up toward his chest, revealing the small pucker of muscle that had been his target all along.

Alex hooked his arms behind his knees and pulled his legs back farther as Mark began to lap at his ring of anal muscles. It felt so good and he moaned his pleasure as Mark's tongue breached the ring and slithered inside. His cock was so hard it was almost painful, but he concentrated instead on the sensation of having his ass eaten. Mark continued his tongue play over and inside the tight ring of muscle and gradually began to feel it open to him. He brought a finger to Alex's entrance and worked it inside along with his tongue. He worked the finger around until he found what he was looking for, the small bump that marked where Alex's prostate gland was hidden and slowly rubbed it with his fingertip. He looked up at Alex's face to see him looking down with his mouth open slightly and panting.

"Oh God, Mark. I'm going to cum! I need you inside me so bad! Please...," Alex begged as he reached down and grabbed his own cock. He was hard as stone and had a small puddle of pre-cum on his belly. It would not take much to send him over the edge into oblivion.

Mark pushed his hand away as he reached into the nightstand to grab a bottle of lube. "Babe, don't touch yourself. I want you to cum with me inside you," he growled. He opened the bottle of lube and drizzled the cool liquid down Alex's crack and to his slightly parted opening, then filled his palm and slicked himself up. On his knees, he positioned himself at Alex's opening and pushed, gasping as the head of his cock breached the tight ring of muscle and disappeared into the wet warmth. He paused to let Alex get used to the feeling, but Alex had a different idea. Alex let go of his legs and wrapped them around Mark's hips and his arms around his back and pulled hard enough to cause Mark to become fully seated inside him with one fluid motion.

Alex sighed, "Oh that feels so good. You are so big and hard. Move in me baby!" Mark complied and began to move his hips in a slow rhythm, gradually picking up speed until they were both moaning in pleasure. Alex's body was so tight and he flexed his muscles to squeeze Mark's cock every time he withdrew. The slight upward curve of Mark's cock rubbed at the small bundle of nerves of Alex's prostate on every thrust. Each of them was lost in the sensation the other produced in them and soon they were both moaning their extreme pleasure.

"I'm getting so close Mark. I need to cum," breathed Alex. Mark leaned down to kiss him, his tongue invading his mouth in rhythm to his cock invading Alex's ass. "Then cum for me Alex," he said.

With a loud scream, Alex arched his back and began to cum. The first spurt was so hard that it hit the headboard. Each successive contraction of muscle brought another large amount of cum. Although, not as strong as the first, he still covered their abdomens with thick white cum. Alex's orgasm forced his anal muscles to contract and squeeze and milk Mark's cock. This was too much for Mark to handle, and with his own scream of release, he buried his cock to the hilt in Alex's tight ass and let go. Spurt after spurt of hot cum filled Alex's channel.

Mark lay down on Alex, resting his weight on the man below him and the two shared soft sensual kisses. "I love you so much Alex," he said. "And, I love you," Alex replied.

With a groan, Alex shook himself and tried to clear the memory of their lovemaking from his head.

"Just four days ago," thought Alex, and now his world was turning upside down. He told Mark to wait, when Mark said he was going to tell his parents this weekend he was gay. Although Alex did not know the specifics of what happened, he couldn't help to think that maybe this was the result of Mark coming out to his family. In the five years they have been together, Alex has never met Mark's parents. Mark has always gone home to visit them. He usually went home one weekend a month, while Alex worked.

Knowing from experience, Alex knew that there was never a "right" time to come out of the closet. He came out to his family in high school one night during dinner. His parents were shocked, but eventually accepted the fact that their son was gay. They even told him later, that they suspected it, but were waiting on Alex to come to them. I didn't make it any easier to handle, but they appreciated his honesty.

But, Mark kept it hidden. He told Alex, that he even had girlfriends during high school, but knew that he was different. He was terrified to tell anyone in his family so, he kept it to himself. Only here with Alex, in a different city, was he able to be himself and now he was tired of keeping secrets. He was adamant that his family needed to know.

There was a knock at the door, it opened and Kathy stuck her head inside. "Alex, Mark is coming by air transport and should be here within 30 minutes. Do you need anything?" she asked.

"No thanks, Kathy. I was just sitting here thinking about Mark. I will be out in a minute to round. I need to occupy myself until he gets here," Alex replied. "Can you let the transport team to meet me on the helipad in 20 minutes?" he asked Kathy.

"Sure thing honey," she said and closed the door. Kathy was like everyone's mother. She always went out of her way to make sure that everyone on the unit had what they needed, remembered birthdays, was a sounding board for suggestions, and a shoulder to lean on when you needed one.

Suddenly, the door opened and Dr Tanner stepped into the room. "You doing ok, big guy?" he asked and came to sit next to Alex on the couch.

"Greg, it's the middle of the night. What are you doing here?" asked Alex, although, he was sure that he already knew the answer to the question.

"Kathy called me after she finished taking report from the Doc up in Gurnee," Dr. Tanner answered. "She is worried about you, and frankly, so am I. I will take this case myself. Since Mark is your 'family', you don't need to be involved. He will need you at his side. Besides, we don't need your emotions getting in the way of making decisions."

Alex knew that he was right and he appreciated Dr. Tanner coming in during the night to see to Mark's care. "Thanks Greg," Alex said. "I just can't wrap my mind around this. What was he thinking? What happened?" he groaned. His eyes started to fill with tears again.

Dr. Tanner put his arm around Alex's shoulders and said, "I don't know Alex, but I will do everything I can to help him. I looked at the labs that came across the fax machine. His liver enzymes and ammonia levels are high, but I don't think we are looking at end-stage liver failure yet. There may be some hope that we can turn him around, or at least get him better while we get him on the Transplant list."

Alex got up and walked over to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked horrible from crying. He ran some water and washed his face and blew his nose. His lab jacket was now wrinkled, but that would have to be overlooked. He turned and looked at Dr. Tanner, who was still on the couch and said, "I don't know what I would do without him Greg. I love him so much and I can't lose him."

Dr. Tanner stood up and said, "Well, we will just have to make sure that doesn't happen. Let's go to the helipad. The fresh air will do you some good." With that, the two men left the unit and rode the elevator to the roof where the helipad was located.

~~~~~~

They could hear the helicopter in the distance and getting closer. The helipad lights and beacon were activated and the transport team had arrived with a stretcher. Alex was shaking as he watched the team get ready for the helicopter to land. They moved like a well oiled machine. He knew this, as he has been part of the team for a long time, but right now it gave him a great sense of comfort. Dr. Tanner was standing next to him and would be the one to talk to the Flight Doc, as Mark was transferred from the helicopter to the waiting stretcher.

As the copter landed, all the internal lights came on and Alex could see Mark through the windows. The Flight Nurse was taking a last set of vital signs and the Medic was taking him off the transport ventilator and attaching the Ambu bag which would provide ventilation and oxygen during the short elevator ride down to the unit and into the room, where he would be attached to another ventilator and the other monitoring equipment. While Dr. Tanner was talking to the Flight Doc, Alex stepped forward to assist with getting Mark out of the copter and onto the stretcher. Mark's eyes were closed and did not open at all when he was moved. Alex quickly scanned the bags and bottles hanging and pumping different medications into Mark's veins. He noticed the small bottle filled with a white milky substance that signaled that he was being given Propofol, which is a powerful sedative. "That's good," thought Alex, relieved that at least Mark was comfortable right now.

The trip down to the unit and into the room took less than five minutes. The nurses on the unit who were available at the time came into the room to assist getting Mark into the bed and then attaching him to the monitoring equipment in the room. Kelly, the nurse from the Code earlier was assigned to care for Mark for the rest of the shift. Alex knew her well and was confident in her skill.

After the other staff left the room and as Kelly was getting report from the Flight Nurse, Alex approached the bed. He bent down and took Mark's hand in his, feeling it's warmth and noticed the yellow tint to his skin and the mild smell of ammonia coming off his body that signaled liver injury. He rested his forehead against Mark's and sighed. "What happened up there baby?" he silently asked, not expecting a response. "I need you Mark," he said as tears slid down his cheeks. He softly kissed Mark on the cheek and then brought Mark's hand up and rested it against his own cheek.

Kelly pushed a chair up behind him and put the side rail down, so that he could sit at the side of the bed and be close to Mark. "Thanks Kelly," he said. He sat there for a while and watched Mark's chest rise and fall with each breath delivered by the ventilator. His tears continued to flow unchecked. He kissed the hand still held in his and laid his head down on Mark's chest and closed his eyes willing this to only be a bad dream.

Alex must have drifted off, because suddenly he aroused by a commotion in the hallway. He heard loud voices coming toward the room. Dr. Tanner stepped into the room followed by a gentleman that Alex guessed to be in his late 60's to early 70's with graying hair. His eyes were wide and his face was reddened. He resembled Mark, so this could only be his father.

"Mr. Schmidt," Dr. Tanner said. "This is A.."

"I know who this is!" Mr. Schmidt spat. He took two strides toward the bed "He is the cause of this shit!" he yelled.

End of Chapter 2



Secrets Ch. 03



I'm sorry this took so long to write and post. Thank you for being patient. I am already working on the next chapter.

Bird_Man_RN

*

Alex was shocked and he couldn't believe what he just heard Mark's father say. He looked at Dr. Tanner who also had a look of confusion on his face. Mark's father stood next to the bed with his hands clenched into fists and his face as red as a fire engine staring at Alex.

"Mr. Schmidt, if you could calm down a little so we could talk about your concerns...," began Dr. Tanner, as he moved to stand next to Mark's father.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do, that is my son lying in that bed!" Mr. Schmidt cut him off. "And he is the one that this is all about," he said with disgust while pointing at Alex.

Rising to his feet while continuing to hold Mark's hand, Alex said, "Mr. Schmidt, I don't understand how you can say that I am to blame for what Mark has done to himself. I can't believe that he would do something like this. Something terrible must have happened that he didn't share with me. We don't keep secrets from each other. I need to find out what has happened."

"What you need to do is let go of my son's hand and step away from the bed," Mr. Schmidt said. "I don't want you anywhere near him." His face was still red and a light sheen of sweat was visible on his forehead. He stood there clenching and unclenching his fists while shifting his weight from foot to foot. He looked like he was ready to strike.

Alex just looked at him and said defiantly, "No, I will not. This is right where I need to be and I am not going anywhere."

"I said step away!" shouted Mark's dad as he moved around to the other side of the bed near Alex. "I knew he was hiding something like this from us. He always acted strange when we suggested coming to the city to see him. He told us that he would rather come home. He has always come alone and never spoke of a girlfriend. His mother thinks that he is too busy at work, but I knew differently," he spat looking Alex directly in the eye. He actually has known Mark's secret for some time. He overheard Mark and his sister talking about it on one of Mark's weekends at home several months ago. But, he was not going to let anyone know.

The tension in the room was palpable. Alex clung to Mark's hand and regarded Mr. Schmidt. He was hurt by what was said and tried not to let it show on his face. This was Mark's dad and he was under stress. Many family members lashed out in situations like this and he felt that he owed it to Mark to keep his own anger in check. They could work through this later.

Dr. Tanner, who remained silent during the exchange, cleared his throat. "Mr. Schmidt? It's John, isn't it? May I call you John?" he asked. "I think right now, we should discuss Mark's condition and come up with a plan for treatment. Is your wife with you?"

"Yeah," Mr. Schmidt said. "My name is John. My wife Becky was on the phone when we came up and she should be here shortly. I think we should wait for her so that she can hear what you have to say. In the meantime, I have one question for him," he said pointing a finger at Alex. "Just how long have you been fucking my son?" he asked with a sneer.

There was a gasp behind him and all three men turned and looked at Mark's mother as she came into the room. "John," she warned, "please control your language." She was a small woman at five feet, four inches with fiery red hair and a look that meant she was all business, in contrast to Mark's father who stood at least six feet tall with dark brown hair and broad shoulders. He looked like a man who was no stranger to hard work.

"I'm sorry Becky," Mr. Schmidt began. "I want to know what has been going on here, so that we can correct the problem before it is too late. We raised Mark to be a good boy and to resist the temptation that degenerates like this man offer. He is weak, but we can make him strong again."

"He is a good man and very strong," said Alex. "I assure you Mr. Schmidt that Mark and I love each other and we make love and it is definitely not 'fucking.'"

With that, Mr. Schmidt wheeled on Alex and growled, "Wrong answer pervert," and punched him in the face. Alex felt the fist hit his face, heard a loud crunch and briefly saw stars before falling on the ground.

Dr. Tanner rushed around to that side of the bed and grabbed Mr. Schmidt's arm before he could hit Alex again and shouted, "That is enough! I want you out of my ICU now!" Turning toward the door, he yelled, "Someone call Hospital Security and CPD! I want Mr. Schmidt escorted out of the hospital!"

Mr. Schmidt pulled his arm free from Dr. Tanner's grasp and said, "You can't make me leave. This is my son. I have every right to be here in this room. I am a powerful man Dr. Tanner and you don't want to mess with me." John Schmidt was a powerful man. He came from a long line of very successful lawyers and a lawyer himself. He has been a Circuit Court Judge for the past 20 years, oversees the family's law practice that he inherited from his father, a Deacon at their church and along with his wife, inherited her family's very successful Industrial Tool Manufacturing Company. As an elected official, he was no stranger to getting results by whatever means possible.

"Just because you believe that you are powerful up north Mr. Schmidt, it doesn't give you the right to throw yourself around here. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior toward my staff," he growled with his eyes narrowed. "You will be lucky if Alex doesn't sue you for assault and battery."

Alex sat up but did not attempt to stand. The shift in position made him very dizzy. His ears were ringing and blood was dripping from his nose coloring the front of his scrub top a bright scarlet. He sniffed and suddenly felt an intense sharp pain between his eyes. With a groan he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He knew his nose was broken, but the dizziness, ringing in the ears and intense pain signaled there may also be a concussion.

Several of the nurses gathered outside the room, drawn by the commotion. When they saw Alex sit up, Kelly, Mark's nurse rushed in and grabbed some gauze and squatted next to him. "Alex, are you ok?" she asked holding the gauze to his nose. "We need to get you down to the ER to get your nose packed and a CT scan. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell," she said while applying more gauze to his nose.

"Just let me sit here for a minute," Alex said. "I will be fine. Besides, I am not leaving while Mark's parents are in the room," he added trying to prevent Kelly from lifting him off the ground. He was still dizzy and getting nauseated. It felt like the room was spinning and he was trying not to lose focus on Mark's dad in case he decided to attack him again.

Two members of Hospital Security suddenly appeared at the door. "Is there a problem here Dr. Tanner?" one of them asked. "CPD is on the way here," he stated as he looked around at he occupants of the room, his eyes widening as his gaze settled on Alex sitting on the ground covered in blood, his nose swollen, misshaped and obviously broken and the beginning of what would look like a nasty left black eye.

Dr. Tanner motioned to Mr. Schmidt and said, "This gentleman was just leaving and needs to be shown the front entrance of the hospital and is not to return until he calms down." With this, the two security guards moved toward Mr. Schmidt and attempted to grab him by the arms.

"Do not lay a hand on me," he spat and looked first at Alex then Dr. Tanner. "I will leave for now, but you are about to find out just how powerful a man I am." He spun on his heel and left the ICU with the two security guards in tow. Mrs. Schmidt looked on, unsure what to do and finally seemed to make up her mind and followed her husband.

Dr. Tanner came over to where Alex remained on the floor and squatted to look into his eyes with a pen light. "Kelly, please go get a wheel chair. Alex, you are going to the ER," he said. When Alex started to protest, he held up his hand. "I know you want to be here, but you need to be checked out. I will order the tests, but you have to go to the ER and register as a patient first."

Kelly and Dr. Tanner helped Alex into the wheel chair. Alex sighed and said, "Ok Greg, I'll go but when I am finished, I will be right back up here."

~~~~~~~

The CT scan and X-Ray confirmed that Alex's nose was broken and revealed that he also suffered a slight concussion from hitting his head on the floor and a small left orbital fracture. There was not much that could be done about his nose except for packing it to control the bleeding and hopefully it would heal without being too misshapen. Kelly took his scrub top and placed it in the laundry hamper and gave him a clean top that she took from the ER physicians lounge. Looking at himself in the mirror, Alex groaned at the reflection of his swollen and purple left eye and nose. The ER staff gave him a bolus of IV fluids and an IV dose of anti-inflammatory to decrease the swelling of his brain caused by the blow to the head. When the dizziness and nausea subsided, the ER physician released him with instructions to take it easy for the next few days. Alex signed the release papers and headed for the elevators, albeit slowly to return to the ICU to see Mark.

When he entered the room, Kelly was busy managing the IV's, taking vital signs and straightening the room. Mark looked very comfortable and the cardiac monitor showed a normal sinus rhythm. "Hi Kelly," Alex said walking over to the bed and kissing Mark's cheek. He straightened the covers and was rewarded with the musky scent that he loved of his man that wafted up to him. "How is he doing?"

"He's stable Alex," Kelly said with a smile. "We drew labs while you were gone and Dr. Tanner did a complete physical assessment. Aside from the liver function test, all of his other organ systems are functioning normally. He said that the Doc up north did a good job of managing his care because his liver enzyme levels have already started to drop a little. He said that with any luck, we can wake him up and get him off the ventilator in a few days." Her smile faded a little and she said, "Oh, and Dr. Tanner had me call Andie and Jim. They are on the way here."

Alex sighed. Andrea or "Andie" is his older sister and Jim is her husband. They live in one of the western suburbs and both work in the city. "That's ok Kelly. I was going to call them soon anyway. I just didn't want to call them in the middle of the night," he said. It would be nice to have his sister here for support. He also needed to call his parents. They retired after Alex graduated from college and moved to Florida. They loved Mark like a son and would want to be here with Alex. He hadn't even had the chance yet to tell any of his family that he and Mark are now engaged. A lot has happened in a short amount of time. "Please tell Dr. Tanner that I am back on the unit and I will be in here with Mark if he needs me." Kelly just nodded and left the room to give Alex some privacy.

Alex pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down. He grabbed Mark's hand and entwined their fingers and used his other hand to brush back the hair that fell across his forehead. This is the man he loves lying here in this bed so sick and vulnerable. Alex took in the sight of his man looking peaceful, his beautiful face relaxed from the sedation and the sounds of the monitors and ventilator and it was too much for him to handle. All of the stress and anxiety from the phone call a few hours ago and the confrontation with Mark's father was finally enough and he began to break down. Tears were streaming down his face and he tightened his grip on Mark's hand. "Baby, I am so sorry this is happening to you," he whispered while wiping tears from his eyes. "You are here with us now and Greg is going to do his best to make you better."

~~~~~~

Alex continued to sit at Mark's side stroking his face, holding his hand and talking in quiet tones about nothing in particular. With his experience in Critical Care, he knew that the sedatives would cause amnesia, but patients regularly reported hearing familiar voices even if they didn't know what was being said to them. Alex hoped that somewhere deep inside that Mark knew that he was there and would receive comfort from their closeness. It was also helping Alex to relax somewhat. He needed to be close to Mark right now and knew that he would have to be as strong as possible to get them both through this.

Suddenly, his sister was bustling through the door with her husband in tow. She hurried around the bed to where Alex was seated and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh Alex, I am so sorry this has happened," she said. "Do you know yet what caused him to do this?" She reached over and ran her hand lightly down Mark's arm to the hand that Alex was holding and let her hand rest on top of his.

"No, not exactly," said Alex. "He left Friday morning to spend the weekend at home for his sister's wedding as you know. He told me on Thursday night that he was planning to come out to his family this weekend." He then proceeded to tell his sister about the call from the hospital up north and the confrontation with Mark's father. "I wish I would have called him" he groaned. "I knew that he would be busy with family, tux fittings, rehearsals and everything else that goes into a wedding. I can't help thinking that if I called him, this wouldn't have happened."

"Well," said Andie, "if I know Mark as well as I think I do, coming out to his parents wouldn't be enough to cause him to do something like this. Has anything happened between you two? Has anything changed?" she asked.

Alex smiled a little and said, "We got engaged on Thursday before he left for the weekend." He sighed and turned toward Mark. "Friday morning was the last time we spoke. He called me when he was exiting the interstate to let me know he made it up there and to tell me that he loves me." His eyes welled with tears and he hitched in a breath. Andie put her arms around him and rubbed his back.

"Alex, that's wonderful news. Mom and Dad will be so happy for you and Mark. I know this is hard for you honey. We will get this all figured out," Andie said. She looked across the room to where Jim was asleep in a chair. "I better go wake him up and get some food in him before he goes to work. I called my manager on the way here and took today off so that I can be with you. Why don't you get some rest? It's probably going to be a long day."

Alex nodded and said, "Ok, Sis. I will sit here as long as I can then I will probably go to the Doc's break room and lay down on one of the couches." He watched her wake Jim and get him to his feet. As they left, they both waved and Andie let Alex know that she would be back after eating and dropping Jim off at work. Alex sank back into the chair, closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Several hours later, Alex woke to the sound of the room's television softly tuned to a news channel. He looked over at Mark and then to the monitor and noted that his heart rhythm and vital signs were all normal. Standing to stretch, he noticed Andie sitting on the opposite side of the bed with her laptop open. "Hey Sis," he yawned and squinted in the sun light coming in the window. "How long have I been asleep?"

Andie looked up and closed her laptop. "About four hours," she said. "Kelly has been in here every thirty minutes to check on both you and Mark. Dr. Tanner stopped in two hours ago to check on him, and then said that he was going to go take a nap. He told the nurses that you were not to be bothered and that he was taking call for the rest of the night. He seems like a really nice guy."

"He is," Alex said. "Greg is awesome to work for, and we have become good friends."

Alex turned his attention back to Mark and sighed. He still didn't have any answers as to why this happened. Mark was stronger than this. Even if his father was furious, which he obviously was, Alex could not believe that an argument would bring Mark to try and take his life. Something else was happening that was not shared. Secrets were not going to work, if their relationship and impending marriage were to survive.

Alex wondered if he missed any clues in the weeks or months leading up to last night. He didn't think so. He was sure that he and Mark were always very honest to each other and didn't hide anything.

He was deep in thought when Andie's voice broke through. "Alex!" she said, "Come back down to earth! I have called your name three times."

Alex looked over and chuckled. "Sorry sis. I have been trying to figure out what has happened and kind of got lost," he said. "What's up?"

"I was saying, why don't we go to the cafeteria and get something to eat?" she responded. "I'm hungry, and if I know you, you haven't eaten since you left home last evening."

Alex shook his head. "No, I'm not hungry. You go get something to eat. I'll be right here when you get back. I don't want to leave Mark," he said.

Before Andie could respond, there was a voice from the doorway. "You should listen to her Alex. You might even consider a shower and clean clothes. I have seen trauma patients in better shape than you."

Alex and Andie both looked toward the door, where Kip Preston was standing with a chart in his hand. "Hello Kip," growled Alex. "Where were you last night? I missed getting report from you."

Kip had the decency to blush before responding. "Sorry Alex, I kind of got side tracked. You know the little blonde nurse in the ER? I took her out to dinner last night. There were no calls, and I left a written report in the lounge. Did you find it?" he asked.

"No, but lucky for you, I know all of these patients," said Alex. "You know that we are supposed to have a face-to-face shift report. Maintaining Residency here is tough and I am sure that Greg would like to hear..."

"Ok, I get it," Kip interrupted. "I'm sorry and I promise it won't happen again. I got carried away and lost track of time. You know how that is, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do. We are cool," said Alex. "So, you are on today? Is that Mark's chart?" he asked.

"Yes, it is. Janna is his nurse today and we are taking Mark down to CT to do a full body scan. Dr Tanner has already approached the Ethics and Transplant committees with a request to place him on the list, so we are going to start all of the testing this morning," said Kip. "As much as I hate to admit this, his request will probably be expedited because Mark is a Director here and because of you. Why don't you go get something to eat and get a shower? Scans and labs are going to take a while."

"Ok Kip, I know you are right," said Alex. "I know all of this stuff, but it's different when you are personally involved. I'll give you some time and then I will be back. You just have to promise me that you will keep a close eye on him and call my cell phone if anything happens."

"Gotcha buddy," replied Kip as he reached out and squeezed Alex's shoulder. "I will treat him like he is my own family. I promise."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later, after breakfast, coffee, a shower and clean scrubs borrowed from the locker room, Alex emerged from the Doctor's lounge and saw Andie outside Mark's room deep in conversation with a woman that he was not familiar with. As he walked up to them, the women turned breaking off the conversation.

"You must be Alex," the woman said extending her hand. "I am Sharon Frey. I'm one of the attorneys retained by the hospital to assist with ethical issues. I've heard a lot of good things about you. Your reputation as a clinician is well known here at the hospital."

"Ethical issues?" asked Alex. He turned to Andie who looked pale and strained. "Do we have any issues? Mark attempted suicide, but that is usually a Psych concern, not Ethics."




Secrets Ch. 03-04



Wednesday Morning

Wednesday morning arrived with clouds of water and wind. Soon lightning would be striking. He did like the sound of thunder. Once, years ago, when he was, 'younger' he'd made love to his girlfriend under a pine tree in the front lawn of her house. No one had seen them as the tree was shaped so oddly it hid the occupants inside from the outside and it had been dark.

The idea thrilled him as he closed the car door and tucked an umbrella under his elbow, in case it started to rain before he left the restaurant. He really hated to have wet clothes to teach in. Comfort was something he appreciated and something he'd worked his life to possess.

He gazed across the street at the restaurant and was surprised to see her leaving with a large package tucked under one arm and her umbrella already open atop her head. Now where might she be heading? 

She climbed down the steps and started walking. The wind tossed her hair around like a fan in motion, but she never stopped to fix it. With determination in her step she continued walking, passing the restaurant in less then a minute.

Without really giving the idea much thought Bruce stepped in behind her and matched his walk to hers, allowing a lengthy distance. If he got too close she'd recognize him and he couldn't have that. 

Droplets of rain began to fall after they'd walked only a few blocks. The neighborhood was intermixed with small businesses and residential homes resembling a patchwork quilt if it could be seen from above.

As they walked, he opened his umbrella, and began to read the signs as they progressed: 'White Cottage dishes and parties', 'Is it YOUR wedding day?', 'Jean's fabric shop', Computers are US', the signs continued, but he stopped reading. 

She turned the corner and the neighborhood suddenly changed. This was a part of Chicago he'd never been in. It made him think of the red light district back home. A section of town he'd never even driven through for fear of being mugged. Yet, she walked down its street like she owned it. 

He stopped walking and leaned onto the intersection sign post arguing with himself. Just at that moment the sky let loose. Rain, lightning and thunder assaulted him in waves of misery. 

"Great," he sighed as his coat and pants became drenched with water. In the distance he watched her open the door to a shabby looking house and entered. 

"What's inside?" He wondered and waited a few minutes, hoping to see.

"Stupid, how will you explain being here, on a street corner, just standing around, in the rain, should she suddenly walk out right now?"

He glanced towards the house again. The door stood stubbornly closed and showed no signs of opening soon. He started to walk back the way he'd came and realized that he hadn't been paying attention. He'd been so absorbed in her behind and that package under her arm that he had no idea where he really was.

He sighed again and started walking. Maybe he could find one of the shops he'd passed that'd help him find his way back to familiar ground. Anything was better than standing in the rain. After a few minutes he realized that he'd read so many store signs that now they all looked the same.

He crossed the street and saw a pub. That was as good a place as any to get in out of the rain. He opened the door and strolled inside.

"Coffee, sir?" a passing waitress inquired as she picked up a new pot steaming with the brew and began to circulate. 

"I don't think I'll ever think of coffee in the same way again." he said to himself and replied, to the waitress, "no, a soda please." He moved toward the bar and folded his umbrella. Two other businessmen seemed to have been caught, much like he'd been, in the rain and were drying out at the bar, as well. Both wore business suits and carried large bags.

"Nasty rain we've suddenly been assaulted with," one of them said to him as he sat down and took a sip of his cola. 

"Yes," he replied and smiled. Both businessmen dug into their bags and withdrew paperwork, which they started on like there was a race between them to see who finished first. 

Bruce just drank his cola and gazed out the window, located just to his right. Images of her silky hair breezed through his mind like a memory from yesterday. Her arms were soft and warm to the touch. Yet, he wanted more then just a memory that was unreal. Her laughter seemed to surround him it was so pure and free. The sound of it felt like she was right there...in-the-room...

He glanced up and realized that she was right there, in-the-room. She was standing just inside the door and laughing her head off. 

Her hair hung like a water slide and deposited its load to the floor. Her waitress dress dripped all around her, resembling a merry-go-around with out horses. Her appearance wasn't the same as it was when she was working she seemed open and full of life.

Several of the employees had surrounded her and were talking to her as well as helping her dry off.

"Was John there?" a blonde lady inquired as she handed the dripping waitress a dry towel and waited for her reply.

"Yes," came her excitement-filled reply. "He said that he might consider me for one of his ladies," gently as she twisted the towel around on her damp hair and moved out of the wet circle her dress had made on the floor.

"That'd be an honor, that would, indeed," said a black haired lady who began to wipe up the floor and readjust the dripping umbrella to a dry towel.

"I know, few women can even catch his attention let alone be considered to be one of hs's ladies," a red head replied as she moved into the bar area and motioned for the group to go behind the counter and disappear into the back.

"NO!" he wanted to scream, but held back for fear of appearing stupid. This wasn't the time nor the place for such an outburst. What would he say anyway? 

"You can't leave. I want to know where you've been and how much, if any thing that you've had to drink. I want to know this mostly because I want to give you more so that you will talk to me and sleep with me and let me fall in love with you...

He stopped thinking suddenly. Fall in love? Was he falling in love with a drunken waitress, who he didn't even know? How crazy was that?

Without further ado he stood, picked up his umbrella and marched out the door. That was it, he'd had enough. 

The last word he heard from her mouth caused him some wonder, 'Master,' and he wondered who'd go by a name like that, for just a moment...

literotica

Chapter 4

Thursday Evening

"I'll have the special, thank you," Bruce said as he handed the menu back to the waitress, smiled and got up to get the local paper from the bin, beside the door. This was going to work out just fine. All he had to do was sit in someone else's area and he'd soon forget all about miss tits.

He was due to go home tomorrow and he was looking forward to those relaxing nights with papers to grade and a good game on TV. Who needed...

He swallowed hard and tried to look away. He realized, however, that wasn't going to happen. There she was walking down the aisle he was sitting in wearing blue jeans and a tight V necked sweater. The clothing seemed to hug her body in such as to suggest they were in love. He already knew he was and they'd never spoken. 

As she walked passed she pulled her car keys from her purse and dumped half of its contents on the floor in the aisle beside his table. 

"Oh no," she whispered and bent down to pick everything up. 

"Here...uhh...let me give you a hand," he volunteered and slipped from the booth to the floor beside her, already reaching under the table to get her lipstick and a notebook. 

"Thank you," she replied and smiled at him. He was sure his heart would burst from all the excitement, of that first smile, but he contained himself well.

"Its no bother, happens to me all the time at school." He handed her the items trying not to touch her, but failing. Damn, she was so sexy. For a brief moment he found his hand reaching towards her hand and recovered before she noticed by picking up a stray catalog and several pieces of notebook paper with dates scribbled on them.

"You almost missed these," he remarked and placed the lost items into her outstretched hand.

"You attend school?" she asked him. 

"I teach," he responded, "I'm here for a short term teaching assignment. It ends Tomorrow." He stood and dusted his jeans off not so much because they were dirty but because it gave his hands something to do. 

"High school?" she asked seeming almost interested.

How much he wanted her to be interested. He placed his hands into his pockets because now they were shaking.

"College professor," he answered and hoped he could get away without shaking her hand.

"I see," she replied and stood beside him falling short of his height by many inches. 

A look of distance crossed her face and entered her eyes and then suddenly she replied as if it were important she be polite.

"Thank you so much for your help. I have to go now." She started walking. "Perhaps I will see you tomorrow for breakfast?"

"Yea," was all he could manage to say. 

"That went well didn't it?" He moved back into his booth and flopped down in the seat like a high school boy who'd just lost a date with the most popular girl in school. "How could it get any worse?"

He glanced downward filled with regret. "What's that?" Lying on the floor, just under the table, was a ticket of some kind. He got up and had to craw under the table to get it. About that time his food arrived so he reseated himself and allowed the waitress to place his food on the table before him. 

"Thank you," he remarked politely. The food looked and smelled good. 

The waitress just smiled and continued to walk further down the aisle to server yet another customer.

What was the ticket for? He opened his hand and gazed at the lettering gasping when he read the label. 

Admit one guest pass, The Corral, we train 'em you ride 'em. She liked horses? He sighed and began eating. Perhaps he'd attend. The pass was for tonight at 7 p.m. and it was in one of the nicer sections of town. 

Time passes slowly when you want to go somewhere and you're excited about it. The pass didn't have a name on it and appeared to be numbered 23 of a series. He felt assured, and didn't really know why he felt assured, that she'd be there tonight and he wanted to see what she did in her off hours.

With care he dressed in a more appropriate outfit and called downstairs for a taxi. He'd already turned in his car today, because he didn't need it tomorrow. A taxi would be fine. The front desk assured him that the cab would arrive within the half hour and they'd call for him then. 

Dressed and ready to go all he had left to do was wait. So he picked up his camera and started flipping through the pictures he'd taken of her a few days ago in front of the restaurant. His mind wondered as he flipped through the pictures. Doin' it doggy with her would be so exciting. To look at her rounded ass in front of him while he got off in that pussy...he stopped looking because he didn't want to ruin the clothes he was wearing. Cum stains wouldn't look appealing in high society. 

As he started to switch the camera off his eyes saw something strange in the image before him. Was that man handing her a note?

No one in the picture saw the hand as it passed a bit of paper into hers. Yet, it happened. The next picture showed the unknown man walking away. She gazed after him like a lost dog at the pound. What was up with that? 

The phone rang and he almost dropped the camera, because it startled him so much. 

"Hello"

"Yes, I'll be right down." 

He cradled the phone and started toward the door stuffing the camera in his top pocket for safe keeping.

He wanted to ask himself why he cared, yet why ask something he already knew the answer too. This trip wasn't working out as planned. He was worried about what might happen next.

The Corral, it seemed like an innocent enough name right?



Secrets Ch. 03



Sharon said, "We need to talk Alex. Can we go into the family consultation room where we won't be disturbed? Andie can come too if you like and the support might be good for you?"

Alex felt like he was going to lose his breakfast and he started to sweat. "Sure," he whispered, "it's right this way." Alex led the two women over to the consult room and punched the access code into the key pad and then held the door open for them to enter.

Once the door was closed, Sharon motioned for them all to have a seat and said, "Alex, this is going to be a difficult conversation and not one that I am looking forward to, based on the circumstances."

Alex's mouth went dry. Suddenly, he was not looking forward to this either. Sitting next to him, Andie reached out and took his hand. When he turned to look at her, he saw tears forming in her eyes and felt like the wind was just knocked out of him. He looked at Sharon and said, "Oh my God, is Mark not going to be approved for transplant?"

Sharon shook her head and said, "This has nothing to do with the transplant decision. This has everything to do with Mark's parents. Specifically, his father. Do you know anything about him?"

"Well, I know he is an asshole," Alex growled. "And he throws a mean punch."

"We know all about what transpired between the two of you last night Alex," said Sharon. "You have every right to press charges, but I have already heard from the ER staff that you refused to call the police. Is that true?"

"Yeah, as much as I would like to, I don't want that to come between me and Mark. A lot of people get very stressed at times like these and I just happened to be the target," he said.

"You know that Mr. Schmidt is a Judge, right?" Sharon asked. After seeing Alex's nod, she continued, "Well, he knows the legal system. Early this morning, he contacted Adult Protective Services and requested Power of Attorney and Healthcare Representation of Mark. It was approved."

"But, Mark is my partner," argued Alex. "Not just that, but we are also engaged. I think that I should have some say in what happens."

Sharon smiled and said, "Your sister was just telling me that. Congratulations to the both of you. But, Alex, you know from working in this field long enough that you have no legal right to make decisions regarding Mark's care unless he has given you POA. Also, even if you were married, you would have no rights without legal representation. The state of Illinois does not recognize same-sex marriage."

"Ok," said Alex. "What happens now? What does this mean for me?"

Sharon sighed and said, "The court faxed copies to my office this morning and they are in order. Mr. Schmidt came to my office a short while ago to see me. He is demanding that you stay away from Mark." Alex started to protest, but she held up her hand and continued, "He said that if you do not comply, he will get a restraining order. I know how horrible this sounds, but it would be very bad press for the hospital. This way, you can continue to work, but you will be required to refrain from entering Mark's room at any time."

Alex was in shock. "But, he is my fiancé and I have done nothing wrong!" he shouted. "No one can make me stay away from him!" Alex jumped up and knocked his chair over and turned toward the door.

"Alex, stop!" yelled Sharon. "Unfortunately, we can force you to stay away. Please don't make me have to remove you from the hospital. I don't want to do that. I have spoken to Dr. Tanner, and he assured me that Mark should be off the ventilator in a few days, maybe sooner. When he is awake and can make his own decisions again, I am sure that he will want you near him. This should only be temporary."

Alex sighed. He was beaten and had no way to fight back. He looked over at Andie and held out his hand to her. She stood and hugged him. "I'm so sorry Alex," she said. "Just a couple of days and you can have him back. You'll see. Mark loves you and he will straighten this out when he is able."

Alex looked at Sharon and said, "I'm not sure if I can do this. We have hardly been apart in five years, except for conferences, business trips and the times he went to see his parents. How can I work on the unit with him here and not go to him? This is unfair. Can't you do something to help me?"

Sharon shook her head. "No, Alex there is nothing we can do. If you two had Living Wills or POA, that would be different and I could fight for you. My hands are tied at this point." She was starting to tear up at this point. "I feel so bad for you. When I spoke to Dr. Tanner, he was anticipating your reaction and said for the time being, he was willing to put you on paid administrative leave."

Alex knew he was defeated and his shoulders slumped. "Fuck," he said. "Can I at least go see him before I leave?"

"Yes," Sharon said. "Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt are still in my office. I told them to wait there until you were off the unit. I can give you a few minutes, but I am afraid they will grow impatient. For the record Alex, I am truly sorry this has to happen and I hope that it will be over soon."

"Thanks," said Alex as he opened the door. "Please let me know when it is safe for me to come back." Sharon nodded her head as she wiped the tears from her eyes. With Andie in tow, he walked down the hall to Mark's room.

Janna looked up from her charting and smiled tentatively when he entered the room. "Hey Janna, would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with Mark?" Alex asked. When she looked conflicted, he thought "Damn, she already knows. News travels fast."

Andie, picking up her belongings said, "It's ok Janna. Alex was given a few minutes to say Goodbye. Let's go out in the hall and talk." Janna nodded and followed her out of the room and quietly closed the door.

Once he was alone with Mark, Alex sat on the edge of the bed and started to cry. "Mark sweetheart, I don't know if you can hear or understand me, but I have to go for a while. I don't want to, but this is something that I have to do for us." Tears were running down his cheeks and blurring his vision. He took the RN pin from the lapel of his Lab Coat and pinned it to the front of Mark's hospital gown over his heart. "Please wake up and come back to me. When you do, I will be right here and never leave your side again."

With that, he placed his hand on Mark's chest over the pin and said, "Until then, I will be right here. I love you so much."

Alex leaned over and picked up both of Mark's hands and kissed them, then reaching up, he kissed each cheek and his forehead inhaling the scent of the man that he loved more than anything in the world.

With a deep sigh, he wiped his tears and took a long look at Mark, then turned and walked from the room.

End of Chapter 3