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Sasha Ch. 01

By: Chanson_bleu



This story was so much fun to write. I ran to the computer every night when the family was finally asleep, ready to burst with all the plot and dialogue ideas I'd come up with during the day. It is the first story I've ever submitted anywhere, so be gentle! 

I wouldn't deserve to feel nearly as proud of it if it weren't for the superhuman editing powers of Weird Harold. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If I could, I'd like to make a suggestion about some music that I think you should listen to while reading this. Moby's latest, Play. I listened to it exclusively while I was writing. It compliments the story perfectly. And it's just a darn good CD!

* * * * *

Ahhh! This is what I needed!

I took a deep breath of the fresh, salty air, savoring the sights around me. The late afternoon sun warmed my skin as I stood in a garden filled with flowers and sculpture. I desperately needed to indulge my senses after a hectic, demanding business trip to Los Angeles. 

It was at the Getty Museum where I found my reprieve. The museum is a superb complex of galleries and patios, perched high on a hill overlooking the Pacific. On every trip to L.A., I tried to spend some time there, to unwind, to delight in the stunning visual setting. On this June afternoon, I smiled to myself as the combination of nature and art again worked its magic on me.

Suddenly, my reverie was broken.

"Hallie!"

I heard a man's voice behind me, with a slight Slavic accent, calling my name. 

No! That can't be...

In spite of the years since I had heard that voice, I immediately knew who it was; not so much for what I heard with my ears, but from an old familiar feeling which started in my stomach and traveled down to my nether regions. 

"Sasha!" I squealed, spinning around. We threw ourselves into each other's arms, kissing and laughing.

"What are you doing here?" I exclaimed breathlessly. "How in the world did you recognize me?" 

"No problem recognizing your incredible behind, sweetheart! You look fantastic!" With his accent, it sounded like "sveetheart." I thought he had a very sexy accent. It also occurred to me that I was wearing my best black dress with the little straps, the one that fit so well. I was flushed with the success of my meeting that day. You know, I do look pretty hot. 

"You haven't changed, have you?" I responded with a laugh. "Tell me this isn't just a coincidence!"

"Well, I work here."

"No way!"

"I happened to see your name on today's parking reservation list. I scanned the security cameras after your arrival time until I spotted you. I've been watching you since then, voyeur that I am"

Sasha's beautiful face had typical Eastern European features: high cheekbones, chiseled jaw line, pale skin. His eyes were hard to define - sometimes gray, sometimes blue, with abundant dark lashes. He kept his thick, black hair short in the back, but had an unruly lock that he often pushed back as it fell into his face. He wasn't exceptionally tall, but his lean, hard body and confident posture gave one that impression. I remember thinking that he was cute when I knew him at school; I could not believe how incredibly good-looking he had become. 

About seven years earlier, I had a serious flirtation with this angular Russian while we were students at a prestigious international graduate program. We were both dating others, but I got to know him better when we worked on a couple of projects together. We enjoyed chatting when we met in the dining commons or at the campus pub, where we engaged in fierce matches of foosball. Yes, I probably was quite a tease, much to the annoyance of my then-boyfriend.

One night, having consumed far too many of my favorite, champagne cocktails, I let him escort me back to my room. He playfully pulled me down on my bed and I let him have a few tongue-laden kisses. By the time his hands made it down my torso and wriggled under my pants, I was helpless. I just lay there while he took one finger and ran it up and down my lips, slowly. Dipping his fingers into my abundant moisture, he made lazy circles around my clit. He applied more and more pressure until I came in a short but intense burst. When I stopped convulsing, I couldn't move. 

He then did the most amazing thing - he kissed me on the forehead and said goodnight. I wanted to show my appreciation, but he was gone before I knew it. 

A few weeks later, we were at a school party; people were dancing outside in the quad on a fairly hot evening. The periphery of the quad area was very dark. I was walking through an unlit corridor back to the party when Sasha came up suddenly from behind and pulled me into a doorway. He pinned me to the wall, his mouth and his hands all over me. I returned his kisses with an excitement that took me by surprise. He whispered, "Let's go back to your room," but I protested that my boyfriend would come looking for me there. 

"You know what? I owe you! I never forget an unreciprocated hand job! Over there," I commanded, pushing him around the corner into a totally secluded, dark recess behind the building. 

I fell to my knees in front of him, and reached for his zipper. Cupping his balls from the outside with one hand, I pulled his already hard cock from his pants. He let out a low moan. Wetting my lips, I rubbed them on the tip, around and around. My fingers ran up and down, all around his huge, silky shaft. I looked up to see his eyes closed, his head thrown back against the wall, an expression of amazed pleasure on his face. He grabbed the back of my head and pushed me onto his shaft. I sunk his cock all the way to my throat. He moaned, jerking his hips in and out; I just stayed still and let him work it. When I felt a blast of warm cum hit the back of my throat, I swallowed it like crazy. He stopped moving and slumped against the wall, totally spent. 

The memory of these two encounters flooded into my mind in a fraction of a second. It happened during the last few weeks before I graduated, so we didn't have the chance to explore a relationship. After I left school, we lost touch, but I never did stop thinking about him. I wonder what he would have thought had he known he was the object of many of my masturbatory fantasies in the time since we had parted.

"I am so amazed that we ran into each other like this. And here, in my favorite spot in the world! How long have you worked here?" 

He grinned broadly. "For a few years. Started out translating for an exhibit from the Hermitage in St. Petersburg. I guess they liked me here because they've kept me on. I'm a special projects director now. So what about you?"

"That's wonderful! As for me, well... You know, there's a lot to tell. Is there somewhere we can go, maybe get a drink?"

"Let's go upstairs to where I work. I think you'll be impressed. And, I've got something for you up there!"

"You do? Then let's go!" I enthusiastically agreed.

We took the elevator to an upper floor of the administrative building. We walked to the end of a corridor where Sasha opened the door to his office. He invited me in, saying, "It's a little small, but it's not so bad, is it?" 

I strode over to a plate glass window opposite his desk. This is a nice perk! His office may not have been spacious, but it had a superb view of the coast. "I'd never get any work done with a view like this!" Even better than the view, it shared a patio area with other nearby offices. At that late hour, there was no sign of any other staff members working. We had the place to ourselves. 

Sasha opened a small refrigerator and brought out a bottle of champagne. 

I laughed when I saw the bottle. "How did you remember my favorite drink?" 

"How could I forget the effect it has on you?" I felt my cheeks grow hot and red. He remembers very well, I thought. He chuckled and gave me a look that made me realize I would be feeling that effect very soon.

We took our glasses out to a table and chairs. We didn't talk much, though; I suddenly couldn't think of what to say. There was a tension, thick and heavy, that hung around us. His eyes bore down on me in a gaze that paralyzed any molecule of reason in my brain. Could I just be imagining this after such a short time? Are we going to pick up where we left off, right here, right now? 

The setting sun lit the scattered clouds on fire, a perfect backdrop for the inferno that was building between us. I quickly drank one glass; he refilled it. Without thinking, I blurted out, "I must tell you how I have never been able to forget you. Seeing you now makes me feel..." I couldn't finish the sentence with the swell of emotion I felt. 

"I know, sweetheart, I've never been able to get you out of my mind either." 

I felt the champagne going straight to my crotch, the effervescence stimulating images I couldn't control. I was afraid there would be a puddle on my chair.

I had to stand up, do something. I rose, shakily, and walked over to the edge of the patio. "This is amazing, Sasha," I said, not necessarily referring to the view.

In an instant, he was at my side. He put his arm around my shoulder and held me close for a moment. I started to tremble. 

"You're not too cold, are you?" Suddenly, he pivoted, grabbed both my arms and pulled me up to his face. "I'm sorry, but I can't help myself." His lips were on mine, his tongue wrapped around mine, his hands in my hair. I stopped breathing. 

Just as abruptly, he pulled away and held me at arm's length. "Please forgive me, but I have spent far too many hours daydreaming about being with you right here - and then you go and show up! Please, if you have any doubts, if you don't want this to happen, let me know now." 

I could only look in his eyes with astonishment. I managed to say, my voice quivering with emotion, "If you only knew how I have fantasized about you in the years since I've seen you last. I've always dreamed of finishing what we started so long ago. I can't believe I'm here with you now..." 

"Then come with me."

Sasha took my hand and led me to a more secluded spot on the patio, hidden from sight of the offices. We stopped next to a marble column; I stepped up onto the base and eased my back against the smooth, cool surface. He leaned into me, kissing me with an intensity only pure lust can evoke. His hands started to explore my face, my hair. Every place he trailed his fingers, my skin burned with excitement.

His lips left my mouth and started a path slowly down my chin, to my throat and to the topmost of the small buttons running down the front of my dress. He released the buttons one by one until my breasts, blossoming out of my satiny strapless bra, were uncovered. "Wow," he breathed. He cupped my breasts with both hands, running his thumbs across the soft fabric on top of my nipples. I inhaled sharply as bolts of pleasure radiated throughout my body. He pulled down the bra until my rosy, hard nipples were exposed. I arched my back in shameless invitation. When I felt his lips finally capturing one, sucking it, I thought I was going to come. The sensation tearing through my crotch was intense, almost excruciating.

I struggled to slip his jacket off his shoulders. My fingers fumbled with a few buttons on his shirt; at last, I was able to slip my hand in and feel his smooth, muscular chest. I pushed his head away and planted my lips to get a taste of that sweet skin on his chest. I licked his nipples then moved my tongue to that lovely groove down the center of a well-developed torso. I couldn't control my hands, which gravitated towards the massive bulge in his pants. At first, he jumped as if I had applied an electric shock. Soon his hips started to rock on top of my probing fingers, but then suddenly stopped. 

"I won't last a minute if you keep doing that! Here, let me..." 

He pushed me back again, lifting the hem of my dress. He rubbed the lacy top of a thigh-high stocking and slid his fingers underneath. As he pushed my skirt to my waist, he stood there for a moment, enjoying the view of my panties darkened by my abundant dampness. I threw my head back. This is really happening.

With great delicacy, Sasha pulled off my panties, which to me is one of the most erotic parts of making love. The mere brush of his fingers and fabric down my legs sent incredible vibrations through my body. I touched my nipples, pulling on them, softly moaning. 

He took one finger and ran it up the center of my vagina, parting my vulva, finally touching my clit. I sighed. He gently pulled on my pubes, spreading me wide open with his fingers. I could feel how I gushed in response to his touch. He knelt down and brought his tongue inside my lips and around my clit. I gasped for air. I have to have it inside of me - now. I lifted his head up so I could look into his eyes. I gasped, "Fuck me."

He stood up and took a step back. With agonizing slowness, he released his rigid, pulsing cock. So close. He pushed me firmly against the pillar. I shut my eyes and spread my legs. As the tip of his cock rested at the entrance to my cunt, I could feel my vaginal walls contracting, trying to pull it inside further. In. Put it in!  

Slowly, ever so slowly, he slid his manhood into me. Every fraction of an inch stretched me wider and wider, as my muscles tightened around him. He inserted himself to the hilt, then slowly withdrew, gathering speed with each stroke. He rested one hand above me to support himself and used the other to rub and pinch my nipples. 

I met every thrust with my own frenzied rhythm. Harder, harder! I'm almost there! He slid his hand in between us, feeling for my clit. Yes, THERE.  When his finger made contact and pressed down, I sailed over the edge of ecstasy. Wave after wave of convulsions tore through me - I had never before felt such a full-body orgasm where every muscle contracted with pleasure. I opened my mouth in a soundless scream. 

He braced himself against the column with both hands. With one last great thrust, he momentarily lifted me off my feet. I heard a moan from deep within his throat. I felt his entire body tense as he let loose a raging torrent of cum deep within me. We rocked together for another minute, slowly tapering off our tempo while my cunt kept contracting, impossible to relax after such a surge. 

He finally kissed my forehead, pushed himself off me and buttoned his clothes while I arranged mine. The blue, dreamlike hues were darkening fast. He took my hand and pulled me close, kissing me tenderly on my lips. Then I heard a low voice in my ear, "Sweetheart, I may have let you get away once before, but not again..."

Sasha Ch. 02



Oh my God. Can you believe what just happened?

How I managed to make my legs work and my eyes focus sufficiently to do anything meaningful in the next few minutes was an amazing feat. I was stunned by the ferocity of sensations, of emotions that had overwhelmed me within just an hour. My head was pounding. 

"Let's go to this quiet romantic little restaurant I know," Sasha suggested. "You weren't planning to go anywhere else tonight, were you?" 

I actually did have a flight home reserved, but there was no question in my mind that I would not be on it 

I have a vague recollection of straightening myself out in the bathroom and somehow walking quite a distance to the parking garage. We slid into his convertible. Before he started the ignition, I looked at him and he looked at me. "Oh... My... God," I said. 

"Oh... My... God," he responded softly, putting his hand on my knee.

We picked up my suitcase from my rental car and sped out into the warm night, soon winding our way up a steep hill. He didn't speak, but that was fine with me. 

Who is this guy? I was startled by the thought that I didn't know that much about him. I'd heard that his family came over to the States, Chicago, I think, when he was a kid. Apparently things weren't easy, but he persevered, got scholarships, became the poster-boy for the American Dream. Smart as a whip. And oh my god, does he know how to fuck me! 

I looked away, transfixed by the lights, the wind. I was totally unable, or rather, unwilling, to estimate the impact of this encounter on my life beyond this night.

We pulled into a small restaurant in the hills. A man, presumably the owner, greeted Sasha warmly as soon as we entered. They conferred briefly out of my earshot before we were led to a table on a small deck lit by candlelight and Chinese lanterns. A bottle of champagne appeared and our glasses were filled. 

"A toast to all things beautiful and exciting. A toast to you." Sasha lifted his glass towards me. 

Still feeling blown away, all I could do was clink my glass against his. 

"Now that we can breathe for a moment, I think we have some catching up to do! We really didn't get a chance to talk earlier," he said with a sly smile. 

I could finally focus and was eager to find out what had happened since we last met. "I have a million questions! First of all, are you still with Terese? There was a rumor that you two ran off to Vegas and got married!" 

"Well, yes, we did," he responded a little sheepishly. My heart sank. "Well, I did have to take care of that little green card issue. Since we had been hanging out together so long, we said, 'What the hell!' and did it. I was maybe a little embarrassed which was why I didn't invite anyone, or even let a lot of our friends know. Well, surprise, surprise, things didn't work out. We've been divorced for a few years now. What about you? You and Dylan didn't stay together right after school, did you?" 


"Well, no. He couldn't handle the long-distance thing after I went to New York and he went back to Denver. At that time, it was just as well, considering how much traveling I was doing for work. But I love what I'm doing. I'm Executive Director for the Asian markets now! About three years ago, out of all the places in the world, I got transferred to..." 

Before I could finish my sentence, a waiter placed a plate of oysters on our table. My eyes opened wide and I licked my lips in anticipation of the salty, slippery morsels. 

"I think we need some nourishment," Sasha teased, lifting an oyster to my lips. "Open wide!" 

"I always do, now don't I?" I parted my lips and let the oyster slide down my throat. 

Our waiter brought another plate of seafood delicacies for us to share. Sasha constantly fed me little treats and kept urging me to drink more champagne. 

"If you're trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me, you are succeeding admirably!" I was definitely tipsy now. 

"We are going to get naked, you and I," he responded.

The image his words evoked sent tremors through my cunt. He intensified the sensation by sliding his stockinged foot up and down my leg. My eyes opened wide His toe parted my legs, making its way up the inside of my thigh, flicking at my crotch. I pushed my chair back and captured his foot between my knees. 

"Naughty boy! Hold that thought for a little while. I have another oyster to eat!" 

"Not too much longer, sweetheart. I really, really, really need to fuck you again!"

I didn't need much more encouragement to finish and head for the car. "Are we going to your place?" I asked. 

"Well, no - someplace much better. As fortune would have it, I'm watching the house of one of our Board members for a few days. It is beautiful, with an ocean view - and wait until you see the - oh, no, just wait. John's a good friend of mine. I think he would approve if I had someone stay over - someone like you." He reached over and put his hand on the top of my chest, slipping his fingers down into my bra. I closed my eyes and grabbed the door handle for support as he caressed my nipple. 

"Oh, don't, Sash! I'm going to come right here, right now. I want to save it." 

"All right," he sighed. He removed his hand and started the car.

Being desired is truly the strongest aphrodisiac. I never knew what that meant before. I smiled.

It didn't take long before we pulled up to a home on a cliff. From the driveway, you couldn't see much of the house, and I didn't know what to expect. When we got inside and Sasha turned on the lights, I was open-mouthed, yet again, with surprise. It was a superb place to call home -- windows on two sides looking out into the darkness, exceptional décor. 

"Wow - you sure know how to pick your friends, especially those who need a favor!" 

"Wait until you see this part," he said, grabbing my hand and leading me out one of the doors onto a huge deck. "I think we need to relax in here for awhile." He took the cover off a hot tub and turned a knob to start the jets. "Hold on a second." 

He struck a match to light several candles on the railing above the tub. He flipped off the light switch, allowing the candles to provide a soft, very sensuous illumination.

He walked very deliberately over to the railing where I was standing. He took both of my hands in his. I looked up at his face.

"I'm so happy you showed up. I have never wanted someone as much as I do right now."

"Sash..."

He silenced me with a finger to my lips. He led me over a padded lounge chair. He sat beside me, reaching over to stroke my hair and my face. I slid his tie through the loop, and let it fall to the floor. I threw my legs over his lap and started to undo the buttons on his shirt. One by one they opened, revealing his muscular chest. He took his arms out of the sleeves, finally giving me a view of his bare torso. 

I stroked his arm while he began to undo the buttons on my dress. There were quite a few, which made my anticipation mount. My abundant flesh swelled out as the top buttons came open -- down and down, more skin was revealed. He pulled me by the hand to a kneeling position; as my dress fell off, he rose in front of me. I immediately opened his belt, wrestled his pants open. They fell over his slim hips, revealing satiny boxer shorts, bulging out in front. I went to reach for his erection, but he took my wrist and put my arm down beside me. 

"Not yet," he whispered. 

He grasped the top of each of my arms and turned me around kneeling in the other direction. He slid his fingers down my back until they touched the hooks on my bra. In a second, the bra slipped down to the chair. He then slid his fingers down my back until they touched the top of my panties. He hesitated a second before sliding his finger down and around my buttocks. The panties dropped to my knees; I lifted one leg, then the other and kicked them free. He reached around me and lightly ran his fingertips over my nipples, then rolled them between his fingers.

"Turn around now." 

I pivoted on my knees. He had slipped off his shorts, standing there, looking at me. Michelangelo could not have created a more perfect specimen of a man. 

"I don't know where to touch you first," I said softly. 

"Stand up," he told me. 

I did, and without hesitation, threw myself against him, my hands searching wildly for skin, more skin, to touch. I felt his hands on my ass and between my cheeks, along my sides. He gently pushed me backwards towards the hot tub. I stepped into the searing water gingerly, but in a few seconds, it felt exquisite. Sasha slid into the water with me and pulled me close, facing him. He covered my lips and cheeks and shoulders with hungry kisses. I felt overcome by an erotic frenzy - I felt wild. 

I mounted his massive erection right away. We both gasped as I slipped my cunt on top of him. The buoyancy of the water made pumping up and down on him almost effortless. I felt his fingers on my clit; soon the rhythm we were making began to overwhelm me. I clung tightly to him as an incredible wave of orgasm built up and rolled across me. I couldn't pull myself off him when we were through; I just sat in his lap and we held each other close for a long time.

We finally disengaged and lay back in exhaustion. I was almost asleep when I felt him tugging on my arm. 

"Come on, let's go to bed." 

He helped me up the tub steps and threw a thick towel around me. I let him lead me down a corridor, into a bedroom, without even opening my eyes. I collapsed onto the bed and he covered me with a blanket. He crawled in behind me. The last thing I remember was hearing him say, "I love you, sweetheart..."

I have no idea how long I was asleep, but I suddenly awoke with a start and sat straight up. It took a few agonizing seconds before I remembered where I was. I turned quickly to look at the other side of the bed to confirm my realization. There he was, sleeping in the pale moonlight with a slight smile on his face. I thought my heart was going to burst. Then I felt it drop.

I looked for the clock. It was almost 5:30 a.m. 

Oh my God, I thought, I have to call now. How could I have forgotten? 

I quietly slipped out of bed and felt my way back to the dark living room. I found my handbag and went out on the deck as noiselessly as possible. I rummaged through my bag until I found my cell phone. I had turned it off when I reached the museum and, naturally, never thought to turn it on again that night. I flipped it open; you have missed seven calls. I pressed the voice mail button and waited impatiently to be connected. The messages were what I expected. My mind was racing. What the hell do I say? Luckily, the answer came to me quickly. I pressed a speed dial button.

"Hi, it's me... Yes, yes, I'm fine. Well, actually, I'm not. I'm so sorry I didn't call, but I went out to celebrate the contract finally closing... Well, sure. You know Taniguchi. 'Another round for everyone!' I felt compelled to keep up with them - they love to see American women get drunk, that's for sure... There was no way I could have made the flight last night... Yes, yes, I know, I should have called. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize my phone was shut off. I'm going to sleep in for a while. I'm not feeling so well. Is that OK? Oh, I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll call when I know my flight - I'll try to get on the six-forty-five... Great. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you when I get home. OK, love you."

Click. I pressed the phone to my forehead. Jesus Christ, what have I just done?

I suddenly felt freezing cold. Well, of course you are. You're sitting outside, naked. I jumped up and ran back inside into the bedroom. I crawled under the blankets, snuggling my back against Sasha's stomach. He threw his arm over me, pulled me closer and said quietly, "So, who was that?" 

My heart stopped. "How... What did you hear?" 

"Probably everything - you were sitting right outside this open window." 

Ooops. 

Dawn was breaking. It occurred to me that this was something better explained face to face. "Let's put on a pot of coffee and watch the sun come up. I have a few more things to tell you about."

When I stood up, I realized that I'd left my suitcase in the car. "Can I borrow a shirt?" 

"Sure," he replied. "My bag is over there." 

I found an old tee-shirt and put it on. 

He looked at me and laughed. "Did you see which shirt you picked?" 

I turned towards a mirror and recognized our school logo, then realized what was printed on the back: "A Long Tradition of Men and Women In Interesting Positions." 

I laughed and said, "Gee, we certainly did our part to keep up with tradition!" 

I was glad to have a little humor because I was dreading what I was going to have to tell him.

He busied himself in the kitchen while I curled up on a nearby sofa. I looked behind me at the colorful clouds getting lighter and lighter in the sky. In a few minutes, he brought over our mugs of coffee and sat down very close to me. I took a sip and put the mug down on the table. 

"OK, here goes," I blurted out. "I'm married... to Dylan."

"What?" A look of concern clouded his face. "But didn't you say..."

"Well, last night, I didn't really get to finish telling you about what had happened to me. And Dylan was the last thing I wanted to think about once I saw you. I am so, so sorry. I did not intend to keep this a secret."

"So how did that happen? I thought you broke up."

"Well, we did. But I think I got interrupted when I was about to tell you how I ended up transferring to Denver, of all places, where Dylan is from. We reconnected when I arrived there and two years ago, we got married. I've never pretended that he was perfect, but he's certainly a good man and we've been fairly happy. I've been able to realize some of my dreams with him; a house in the suburbs, nice furniture, trips abroad. We're even talking about starting a family now. I was pretty sure I was happy."

"That's not at all what I thought was happening with you! You hadn't changed your name; you don't even have a ring on! That's the first thing I looked for, well, maybe after I looked for your ass..."

"Oh, stop! This is serious! Funny thing about the ring, one of the diamonds came loose and it's in the jewelry shop. Dylan even teased me about it before I left, saying 'You better not let those Japanese guys get any ideas about you, running around without your ring.'"

"Well, he never said anything about any Russians!"

"True," I chuckled.

I let that last remark hang in the air while I took another sip. "Sasha, I don't know what to do. The last thing on my mind was looking for anyone else, but Dylan's never made me feel a fraction of what I've felt with you. I didn't know I could ever feel the way you make me do. That is not something I'm going to just forget when I get on that plane tonight."

"Sweetheart, let's not try to figure everything out right now. It was so much easier when all I had to do was get into your pants. My head is spinning." He leaned over and took my face in his hands. "Let's just enjoy the rest of the day together. It will work itself out, somehow."

He stood up and went into the bedroom. He came back wearing shorts and running shoes. 

"I need to go for a run - I can really think better when I'm sprinting up a canyon. Just relax for a while; maybe go back to sleep if you want. I'll be back shortly." 

He came over, kissed the top of my head and left.



Sasha Ch. 03



I sat there, motionless, then started to cry. I hugged my knees, thinking, oh, Sasha, Sasha, what should I do? I couldn't visualize at all how to resolve my dilemma. How could I explain it to Dylan? That he just doesn't know how to fuck me senseless? No, that's not right. There's more than that. But how do I describe it? Oh, Christ, how can I make a decision about this now? 

I walked out on the deck and paced from one end to the other. After a while, the cool morning air relieved my funk. Being the good avoider that I am, I decided I would not think about it, not right then. I had a whole day to spend in heaven; I was going to make the most of it.

Let's hit the shower, I thought. Such a nice big shower! The hot water came up quickly and I stepped in. I leaned my head back and let the stream cascade across my face. As the water caressed my body, I had brief flashbacks to our erotic escapades the previous night. Was it just last night? I slid a soapy hand across my breasts, and felt my nipples harden to my touch. I slipped my hand down further across my stomach and lower. Ooooh, that's the place. Oh my God, how could that man make me feel like that? I smiled at the memory. Then I jumped as I felt a hand on my back.

"Aaaarrrgh!" I screamed. 

"Aaaarrrgh!" came the reply. 

"You scared the shit out of me!" I yelled at Sasha. 

"You scared me too! I didn't expect you to scream. It looked like you might have wanted another hand..." 

"You've been watching me?" 

"Uh-huh." 

"Then get in here right now and finish the job!" 

I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the shower, clothes and all. He yelped, but didn't really try to get away. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head while I worked his shorts down his hips. I caressed his chest with a bar of soap, creating a soft, foamy lather. I followed the trail of suds dripping down his torso, and went to work on his penis. I held on as firmly as I could, sliding my hand up and down the growing shaft. 

He took some of the lather and started rubbing circles on my breasts. My nipples perked up again when he pinched and pulled them. I shuddered at the touch of his soapy hand slipping down my hips, around my leg and back up again. His silky finger trailed lightly on the edge of my vulva, then pressed in more firmly, making its way into my cunt. 

"Oh," I moaned. "Here we go again!" 

I grasped the shower bar, bent over and put my ass in the air. Sasha grabbed my hips with both hands; I felt the head of his penis searching for my cunt. I moved slightly to meet it and it slid in. My cunt felt so tight being taken from behind; every thrust made me gasp and moan. I reached down to stroke my clit. This feels soooo good. 

Sasha gripped my hips even tighter and started to mutter, louder and louder. "Yes, yes, oh baby, oh baby, oh, oh, oh..." 

I had to hold on tightly to the bar to keep Sasha from slamming me into the wall. He came with a loud, prolonged moan just as I felt my climax explode. He pulled out his wilted penis and slumped against the wall. I hung on to the bar for another minute, trying to catch my breath. 

"That is some soap," he said, smiling weakly.

We stumbled out of the shower, grabbed some towels, and collapsed on the bed. He pulled me close and we dozed for a few minutes. When I felt him kissing me, I opened my eyes. 

"Wake up, beautiful! It's a gorgeous day, and if you have to leave, we should make the most of it." 

"But I don't want to leave. If I asked to stay with you, what would you say?" 

"Would you really do that?" His voice rose with excitement.

"God, I don't know. I absolutely do not want to walk away from -- you -- from this, but I certainly can't stay either. What the hell am I going to do?" I suddenly started to cry again. 

Sasha looked a little taken aback, then gathered me in his arms and kissed my face repeatedly. "Shhh, shhh, we'll figure something out. Don't worry, don't cry..."

My tears subsided. "I'm sorry for getting so emotional. It's just you... this... is so... unexpected."

He took my hand and said, "Let's just go out and enjoy the day. I have an idea. Would you like to go back to the museum for a behind-the-scenes tour? Some of the best pieces aren't even on the floor; they're in a back room. Let's go explore there." 

"Really? Could we?" I exclaimed, my mood rising again. "I don't know if I got around to telling you how it's my favorite museum in the world!" 

"No, but then there were a few things you forgot..."

I quickly got dressed in jeans and sleeveless silk shirt - nothing fancy, but there's nothing like a sex marathon with a gorgeous man to make a woman look splendid, no matter what she wears. We hopped in his car and sped off up the coast. In the bright sunshine, my anxiety was replaced by a feeling of elation. I felt so attractive and alive. I stole a look at Sasha every chance I got. With the wind in his hair and the sun on his face, I truly felt no man could look better. 

Since it was Saturday, the Getty complex was very crowded. Luckily, we were able to bypass the crowds using the employees' entrance. Sasha chatted amiably with one of the guards when we got inside. The guard led us down a back stairwell and through a basement door. We went into a workshop where the restorations take place. There were several people working, some of whom Sasha spoke to. They patiently explained to me what they were doing or gave me a demonstration. I found the work fascinating and several hours slipped by.

"Aren't you hungry yet?" Sasha inquired after our fifth or sixth demonstration. 

"Well, now that you mention it, I am!" 

"So, let's grab a little picnic and head upstairs to my patio." 

"Oh-oh, you know what happened the last time we were there." 

"Don't you ever think I will forget it, sweetheart, but I'm afraid we'll have to behave ourselves; there's bound to people around today." 

Too bad!

We walked to the building that housed the café for the visitors. Sasha went through a back door. "Wait here a minute - I'll be right back." I sat on a bench under the shade of a tree, enjoying watching the people looking around. Sasha soon came out with a bag in his hand. "C'mon!" 

I followed him through the compound to the administrative building and up the elevator. When we entered his office, I stopped inside to reflect on the view of the patio. I marveled at the thought, I had the best sex of my life right here less than 24 hours ago! 

"What are you smiling about?" 

"Oh, I think you know."

He was right about other people being around; there were several others enjoying their lunch outside when we stepped through the door. He introduced me to his colleagues, then lead me over to an empty table under a tree. He pulled some bread, pate, cheese and fruit out of the bag. I realized that I was starving, and ate quite a bit, quickly. It was as delicious a feast as I had ever eaten in a five-star restaurant. He sat back and laughed. 

"What's so funny?" I demanded. 

"It is such a joy to see you enjoy your meal." 

"Well, being with you makes me hungry for everything!" I took a sip of Evian, and without warning, a burp, well actually, a belch, came up from my throat before I could stop it. My face went red and I apologized, but he just laughed and laughed, which made me laugh too.

"There's something I'd like to do while we're here," I told Sasha. "I want to show you my favorite piece." 

"I'd like that very much." I asked to see a map of the facility and pointed out to him where the gallery was that contained "my" drawing. 

He said, "Let's go," holding my hand as we walked towards the elevator. 

In a few minutes, we were in a large room, darkened except for dim spotlights on dozens of works by the Impressionists. Once inside, I knew where to go. I led him through the crowd to a panel on the far side of the room. On the back of the panel was a pen and ink drawing by Berthe Morisot of a young boy's face. Something about the expression on the dark-haired lad was mesmerizing. It was a simple piece, yet I never grew tired of gazing at it and trying to imagine what was going through the boy's mind.


Sasha stood behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "This is one of my favorites, too," he said softly. 

A startling realization occurred to me. "Sasha, look! I swear that boy looks like you must have looked when you were younger!" He put his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. "Now I understand why I was always so attracted to this piece. All the times I've been here before but had no idea you worked here, this picture was trying to tell me something! I always came by here on my last stop through the galleries. It gives me such, I don't know, contentment, that's it, to look at it. Peace, satisfaction, yet excitement at not being able to translate it completely. And that is how I feel with you." 

We stood silently for a few more minutes. He finally unwrapped his arms and patted me on the back. "We only have a short time left, so let's go for a drive." 

My face fell at the realization. "But, I have to get my rental car back. Oh, shit!" I exclaimed. 

"Hey, I have a solution to that," he said. "Just give me the paperwork and I'll have one of the museum interns take care of it today. We've got to give all those eager kids something to do around here!" 

"Oh, that's a great idea! Thanks for thinking of it!"

We walked hand in hand to his car, drove out of the garage and got on one of those horrible L.A. freeways. "I know a lovely little spot in the mountains, not too far away." He expertly maneuvered through traffic; in no time, we found ourselves climbing the switchbacks of a narrow road. At the top was a state park. We drove along the rim and found a secluded picnic table with a breathtaking view. He sat behind me, resting his head on my shoulder while I stroked his arms.

"I don't know if you still indulge, but I have a small joint of Humboldt if you'd care to join me..." 

"Well, you never cease to surprise me! It's been a long time, but I can't think of a better time or place!" 

"Excellent!" He pulled the joint and a lighter out of his pocket, fired it up and handed it to me. That's good stuff, man. One hit and I saw stars! After two puffs, I declined any more. The view, the colors, everything was as vivid and beautiful as you could ask for. I reveled in the feeling of him holding me close. I never, ever felt such intense feelings. I took his hand and placed it on my chest. "Feel my heart, Sasha. It's ready to burst." 

"Are you OK?" he asked with a worried look. 

"Physically, yes. Spiritually, not at all." I turned to face him. "I want this to last forever. I want to stay with you, but I don't want to face up to my responsibilities, or pay the consequences for my actions. That is so cowardly. I don't deserve such happiness under these circumstances." 

"That's just not true! Don't say that! I, too, might be selfish to want you so badly, but I cannot picture giving you up, at least not without a fight." The determined, almost angry expression on his face startled me. "I've thought of nothing else since I first saw you yesterday. And I know what you have to do." 

I sat up straight. "What?"

"Well, maybe you're not going to like it, but you have to go home, tonight. You must go back with Dylan, at least for the moment, in order to make a clear, levelheaded decision. You need to know in your heart what the best choice is. I want you, but I also truly want what's best for you. If that means you end up staying with Dylan, then I won't stand in your way. But I'm not giving up that easily. I assure you, you'll be hearing from me."

He took me in his arms and gave me a deepest, most intense kiss I can remember. I pulled his head down, trying to get him closer, to put him in an embrace that would be impossible to disengage. We kissed for what seemed like forever. We finally unlocked our lips and I slumped against his shoulder.

He took my arm and led me back to the car. We sat there silently for a while. He reached over to stroke my shoulder; I took his hand and clasped it to my cheek. He pulled his hand away and stroked my breasts through my shirt, then pulled the shirttail out of my pants, slipping his hand under the fabric. I reached over and started to press into his crotch, but he put my hand back in my lap. 

"Let me do something for you. It's gift, a way to say thank you. Besides," he said, raising an eyebrow, "I want to watch your face when you come. Slip off your pants for me." 

My heart pounded as I pulled my jeans and panties down and slid them off my feet. I leaned against the door of the car with my legs spread as far as they could go. He bent over and buried his face between my legs. I felt his tongue exploring, his teeth playfully biting my pubic hair. His strong tongue parted my vulva and lapped at the entrance to my cunt, brimming with my silky moisture. He ran his tongue up one side, and then the other, finally landing on the tip of my clit. I felt his lips wrap around it and increase their pressure; he began to suck on it. Don't stop, baby. Don't ever stop. Please! 

I had my eyes closed, my head thrown back outside the passenger window. I jumped as a car went by. He lifted up his head. 

"Don't stop! You can't stop!" I pleaded. 

"I want to watch. Be patient," he said sternly.

When I felt his thumb on my clit, I lay back again. Round and round he went; I started to feel my climax building. Then, without removing his thumb, he inserted a finger into my cunt. My hips started to rock. Another finger, then another, moved in me, probing, stretching. I plunged myself onto his digits, faster, gasping for air and moaning with every push. 

I heard him speaking softly, "Come on baby, you're so beautiful, come on, let yourself go, let it come ..." 

I opened my eyes and saw him peering intently into my face. Oh, God, I'm coming...  I grabbed the seat back with one hand, the dashboard with the other, lifted my bottom off the seat, and felt enormous waves of orgasm explode within me. I couldn't have cared less if anyone was driving by at that moment! 

I fell back into the seat when the spasms subsided. He withdrew his fingers; they were totally covered in my honey. He looked at them for a moment, then slowly put one finger after another in his mouth and sucked. "You taste delicious," he said with a smile.

It took me a minute or two to focus again, but I knew I had to look at the clock. "We've got go, Sash." 

"I know." 

I pulled up my pants. He started the car. 

I don't remember much of the ride to the airport. It was as if we were planning to drive off a cliff; I knew that it was a place I did not want to go and I couldn't think about what was going to happen when we got there. I looked over at Sasha; the expression on his face frightened me. His knuckles were white gripping the steering wheel. I don't know if there was much traffic. All I know is that I caught sight much too soon of that damn white spaceship thing that adorns the airport. 

We pulled up to terminal. I looked straight ahead, absolutely frozen. He got out of the car and lifted my bag from the trunk. He opened my door to help me out. I rested my head on his chest, but didn't embrace him. I didn't have the strength.

"I love you, sweetheart." He kissed the top of my head. His hand lingered a moment on my shoulder, then it was gone. I heard the car drive away. I couldn't move. I couldn't turn around. 

Who knows how long I stood there before a skycap came up to me and politely said, "You want some help, ma'am?" 

I nodded mutely. 

"Tell me what flight and I'll get you there. Looks like you just had a rough goodbye, didn't you." 

I looked at him blankly. Somehow I conveyed the flight information, and we started walking towards the gate. I was grateful to have someone to lead me, for I otherwise might have stood there on the sidewalk until I dropped. At least I had the presence of mind to give him a nice tip.

At the gate, it wasn't too crowded and an agent took pity on me. I must have looked a wreck and after all, I was a first class passenger. The best money I ever spent on a trip, that upgrade! She led me on board immediately and got me seated. A flight attendant asked if I wanted a drink, which I accepted. I downed the scotch in one gulp. 

The plane taxied to the runway as another brilliant sunset was entertaining the multitudes. I worked studiously on making my mind go blank.  I absolutely cannot think about him now, about anything. The aircraft started to speed down the runway and lifted its nose gear for takeoff. As soon as we were over the ocean, the jet banked sharply right and hugged the coast. I looked out the window and watched the hills pass by bathed in twilight. Just then, I recognized a structure on a hilltop; I was absolutely sure what it was. There's the Getty.



Sasha Ch. 04



I pulled myself together as well as I could, but it was very difficult preparing to see Dylan again. As the plane taxied to the terminal in Denver, I practiced what I was going to say about my trip; I rehearsed the lies I would have to tell. I was going to be happy to see him and pretend to be interested in the inevitable small talk. When the plane stopped, the other passengers got up and grabbed their bags. I sat for a moment, forcing myself to move only when the rest of cabin had exited.

As the terminal came into view at the end of the jetway, I saw Dylan standing there. I took a deep breath. He threw his arms open and I could see a bouquet of flowers in plastic wrap in his hand. I compelled myself to put one foot in front of the other more quickly. When I reached him, I put my arm around his neck and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

"You're home at last! Welcome back!" he exclaimed loudly. "Gee, you must have been sick; you look terrible!" 

"I'm just exhausted. I really need a good night's sleep. Let's get home quickly." We stepped on a moving sidewalk and I kept on walking, which made him sprint to catch up to me. He asked a lot of detailed questions about the trip, about my meetings, which I answered in short sentences. Luckily, he did not ask for too much information about my extra night in L.A. 

We got to the car at last. I slumped my head against the seat and closed my eyes. I felt his hand patting my leg. 

"I'll get you home in jiffy, honey. You just relax."

I actually did doze and woke up as we pulled into the garage of our home. 

"I'll bet you're glad to see this old place! You want a drink? It's still early." 

"Oh no, honey, I'm sorry, I'm going straight to bed." 

"OK, let me bring up your bag." He grabbed my suitcase and started up the stairs. I followed him into our bedroom. He put the bag down and came over to where I was standing. "You get changed, I'll be back in a minute." He pulled me close and kissed me on the lips. I didn't move. Then he was gone, out of the room.

I wearily got undressed and brushed my teeth. In a few minutes, I crawled under the blanket and closed my eyes. I was just about asleep when I felt Dylan get in on the other side of the bed. He immediately slid over and snuggled up against me. I felt his hand reach over and caress my breast. Oh shit.

"Honey," he whispered. "I missed you." 

"Dylan, please! I'm so tired!" 

"I know, but I've been dreaming about you all week! C'mon, baby!" 

He pulled up my nightshirt and thrust his hand between my legs. I froze. In a second, he was on top of me, forcing my legs apart. I was almost in shock; I wasn't prepared for this to happen tonight. As he kissed me sloppily, he tried to poke his hard penis into me. There was no way I could talk him out of it at this point, so I wearily opened my legs a little more and guided his cock into me. He really had to push to get it in. I moaned, but from pain, not pleasure. I rocked my hips to speed him along, feeling like he was tearing me apart. It didn't take long before his moans got louder and with one forceful thrust, he was done. He collapsed on top of me and I pushed him off. He rolled over, snoring, within seconds. I lay there on the damp sheets, my cunt burning, my head throbbing. All of a sudden, I heard Sasha's voice in my mind: I love you, sveetheart." I turned away, silently crying. At last, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke late the next morning. When I gathered my thoughts and remembered what had happened, I felt such despair. Dylan was already downstairs and from the smell of it, he was cooking a big Sunday breakfast.

He came up in a little while and stood by the bed. "Are you awake yet?" 



Sasha Ch. 05



I had a very vivid dream that night. I dreamt I was walking along the ocean near a rocky cliff with Dylan. 

"Why don't we go swimming?" he asked me, but I didn't want to - we didn't have on our bathing suits and the waves were very rough. "No problem, we'll just swim in our clothes," he insisted. 

Even though I told him I didn't want to, he pulled me into the water. I was terrified, and screamed and tried to run away, but he was much stronger and pulled me out further and further. I looked up on the cliff, surprised to see Sasha, standing, watching the whole thing, but not making a move to help me. 

"He's not going to save you," Dylan sneered. 

The waves came crashing over my head. I struggled to breathe.

I woke up, my heart pounding. Dylan was snoring next to me. I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn't stop thinking about the dream. 

I went down to the basement and flipped on the TV. I climbed on the Stairmaster. Sasha's face invaded my thoughts and wouldn't go away. When I finished my course, I walked slowly back upstairs to our bedroom where Dylan was still asleep. I turned on the shower, took off my clothes and stepped into the steam. As I was shampooing my hair, a wad of suds slipped down to my breast. 

Remember what happened the last time I did this?  I started to rub it on my nipple, but stopped. What are you doing? I scolded myself. You can't let yourself do this.  I almost started to cry.

Dylan stumbled into the bathroom as I was drying my hair. "You're up and about early. Going in already?" 

"Yes," I replied. "Lots of work has piled up, I'm sure." 

"Any chance you'll be home early enough to have dinner together?" 

"We'll see," I said. "I'll call you."

I arrived at the office before seven. Even at that early hour, I had the company of some of the ambitious young executives. We exchanged pleasantries; one of the account executives told me how nice I looked. 

"You must have been doing something else in L.A. besides wrestling Taniguchi to the ground to make him sign the contract!" 

I laughed, thinking, If only you knew...

There was a pile of work awaiting me, and I dove into it whole-heartedly. Lots of calls, lots of memos kept me busy and the hours flew by. Every time Sasha crept into my head, I had a wide range of issues to distract me.

The afternoon passed and I called Dylan. 

"Oh, God, it's been a zoo today. I never can leave for more than a day without things falling apart. No, no, just wrap it up, I'll reheat it when I get in. Sorry. Yes, I think I'll be home before 9:00. Love you." 

I hung up the phone, relieved that I had a few more hours before I had to face him again.

I heard a signal on my computer to alert me to an incoming Instant Message. I looked up at the IM Window on my screen.

white_russian: Good evening, sweetheart! I knew you'd be in the office late. What are you doing? 

I froze. Oh my God. My fingers trembled as I typed my reply.

HK74: Sasha, is that you?

white_russian: Well, of course it is. I didn't dare call you, so I figured out how to use this chat thing. How did it go when you returned home?

HK74: OK - he doesn't know anything happened. Are you at your office?

white_russian: Just barely - my mind is not on my work today. I have to look out on the patio, you know!

HK74: Oh. That could be a problem. My heart is there too, but my work has saved me today. I can't begin to let myself think about you. I would go insane.

white_russian: I miss you. I want you. I want to do you right now. What if I just walked into your office and shut the door...

HK74: Well, considering the windows that look into my office, that would give the staff something to talk about!

white_russian: Hasn't everyone gone home yet?

HK74: I guess so - maybe a few left.

white_russian: I want you to do something for me.

HK74: What?!

white_russian: I want you to go to the ladies room and take off your panties. You're wearing a skirt today, right? And those thigh-high stockings too?

HK74: Well, yes, but what do you have in mind?

white_russian: And you can close your door and have some privacy?

HK74: I think so. What are you up to?

white_russian: Go do that and let me know when you're back.



Sasha Ch. 06



Sitting at the gate, I started to get second thoughts about what I was about to do. I gazed out onto the tarmac. If I tell Dylan what's going on, it's really, really going to hurt him. That truly isn't what I want. But how could I give up what I'd found with Sasha? I reflected on my life with Dylan; pleasant as it was, he didn't make me feel nearly as alive, as desired as I did for the mere 24 hours I spent with Sasha. Gosh, I married Dylan for all the wrong reasons, didn't I? That realization made me feel sick to my stomach.

I'll talk to Sasha about it in a few hours. He'll make me feel better. I decided it was time to put my Dylan problem out of my mind. I was ready to get on a plane and see my lover. I'll at least feel good for a while very soon.

I was so relieved to see that my flight was ready to depart on time, and I boarded without problem. The plane taxied towards the runway, then stopped. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking," I heard from the intercom. "I'm sorry to inform you that we've been asked to hold takeoff for approximately 60 minutes due to heavy traffic conditions at LAX. We'll have to wait here on the tarmac. I'll let you know as soon as we've been cleared."

I could hear a collective moan from the rest of the passengers on the plane. God fucking damn it! I was so angry. How dare my precious time with Sasha be wasted, be stolen like this! I flipped through the stupid airlines magazine, not reading a word. I fiddled with my headset. I brought out my laptop and turned it on, but just stared at the screen. When is this fucking plane going to take off!

After the longest period of time in all of recorded history, in my mind anyway, the plane started to move. As it took off, I wanted to stand up and scream; "Can't you make this thing go any faster?" At this point, I would have only about two hours before my flight to Tokyo took off. Oh, maybe that flight would be late too! That thought made me feel better.

My optimism was dashed a few minutes later. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain again. I'm sorry, but we've encountered a severe storm cell over Nevada that is affecting a number of flights going into Los Angeles. We've been instructed to maintain a holding pattern which will delay our arrival by at least another 45 minutes, maybe an hour. I'm sure you can appreciate the problem..." 

Appreciate your problem, my ass! Don't you realize I need to get laid? Tonight! My head started to throb. I closed my eyes and tried not to have an aneurysm.

I wondered if Sasha knew about my flight delay. I assumed he'd check with the airlines, but I was so frustrated by being late that I had to talk to him. I pulled the phone out of the seat in front of me, fumbled with the credit card and finally placed the call to his office. Three rings, four rings, no answer. His voice mail recording interrupted the ringing. "Hello, you've reached the desk of Sasha Katarinov. I'm not here, so please leave a message." 

He's not there, so he must be on the way to the airport. How the sound of his voice made me feel like crying. At the beep, I wailed, "Sasha, it's me, I'm being held prisoner on this damn plane! We're not going to have any time. Please, please be there! I'm so sorry. Love you."

After an eternity, we landed. The flight attendant read a list of connections over the intercom. My flight to Tokyo was departing right on time.

Even before the plane came to a full and complete stop, I leapt up, grabbed my bags and stood by the door. The flight attendant gave me a dirty look, but I didn't care. I wanted to grab that huge door handle to open the damn thing myself. When it finally swung open, I leapt onto the jetway and sprinted up to the terminal. There was a sea of faces at the other end, but I did not see the face I had been waiting so impatiently for. I pushed my way through the crowd. Nothing. I walked quickly around the chairs at the gate. I looked up and down the crowded walkway. Nothing. 

Was he at another gate? I ran up to the nearest agent. "Are there any other flights arriving from Denver at this time?" 

The agent typed something on his terminal and replied, "Yours is the only one to have made it in this afternoon." 

My heart plummeted.

A glance at the clock told me I'd better get moving if I wanted to be on the flight to Tokyo. I looked around one more time, hoping against hope that he was just teasing me, and would leap out from behind a pillar. That didn't happen. I struggled to keep from crying as I walked down to the other end of the terminal and found my gate.

I handed my ticket to the agent. 

"You can go right on board." 

"How much longer can I wait here?" 

"Ma'am, you need to board immediately." 

"Five minutes! Please?" 

She frowned. "Five minutes, but if we close the doors, you'll be out of luck."

I stood in the middle of the corridor, turning from one side to the other every few seconds. I scrutinized the face of every dark-haired man I could see, but none of them looked familiar. I finally had to concede that I had missed Sasha. I was not going to get to see him. Maybe I will never see him again.

I boarded the plane and took my seat in business class next to the window. I couldn't believe that I was on another flight out of LAX with my heart breaking. I looked out the window, tears in my eyes. We took off over the dark ocean. I wish I could jump out of this damn plane.

The plane leveled off and flight attendants started their service. I took a scotch, but refused dinner. After I had drained the drink, I closed my eyes. 

A voice above me with a strange drawl said, "Ma'am, you really should eat somethin'. It's not good for a pretty girl like you to drink your dinner." 

I kept my eyes closed. "No, thank you," I said with an annoyed tone. Jesus, that isn't a flight attendant, is it? 

"No, really, I think you should..." 

I opened my eyes, ready to tell off whoever was being so obnoxious. I looked up. There was Sasha.



Sasha Ch. 07



The shriek I let loose must have woken up a few folks in business class; in the whole aircraft, as a matter of fact. I leapt out of my seat and into his arms. 

"How could you do that to me?" I demanded in a very loud voice. Heads turned, looks of concern abounded. 

A flight attendant hurried up the aisle. "Is everything all right here?" 

"More than all right! I'm so sorry, I'll be quiet now." 

She frowned at me, but walked away.

I pulled Sasha down into the empty seat next to me and we kissed hungrily. Abruptly, I moved my head away, took my fist and punched him as hard as I could on his upper arm. "How could you do that to me?" He had on a leather jacket and I didn't make much of an impact. He laughed, rubbing his arm. "I am so mad at you!" I exclaimed. "So what the fuck are you doing on my plane?"

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry! I just wanted to surprise you, which apparently I did. As soon as I got your itinerary, I started plotting how I could join you. I was able to talk my boss into letting me go to Tokyo to meet with some people there about an exhibit. But our travel budget is small, so all I could get them to pay for is my airfare; coach, of course. I told him I had a friend to stay with and could live cheaply. Pretty smart, huh?"

"So, who will you be staying with?" I asked him with a smile. 

"I don't know, I'm sure I could sleep on the subway..." 

I grabbed his head again for another round of kissing.

I clung to him tightly while he stroked my hair or my arm. I needed the physical contact to assure me it was really him next me. I couldn't think straight. My mind was racing with excited thoughts I hadn't dared to imagine before. 

We'll be together for all those days and nights! I can show him around Tokyo, take him to the places I'd discovered in my many visits there. Make love to him on low Japanese futons and in big bathtubs. Hold him close throughout the night.

I had been through four weeks in hell since I last saw him, and now I was flying to my heavenly reward. I kept looking up and smiling at him. 

"You must have been a wreck when I didn't show up to meet your flight," he said. "I'm sorry, maybe that wasn't the best way to handle this. I thought it might be too distracting to your work if you knew I wanted to come along." 

Oh shit, my work! I'd completely forgotten my reason for going to Tokyo. I never hated my job so much until that instant. It was going to interfere considerably with my plans for a week of carnal bliss.

"I've got so much to do when we're there, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to play with you much, especially during the day. Even at night, I am expected to join my hosts for dinner; it's part of the negotiation ritual. This really sucks!" 

"That's OK, sweetheart, I'll entertain myself during the day. I've contacted a mutual friend from school who lives near Tokyo now - remember Stan Kenzo?" I immediately pictured him: Stan was Japanese-American, a very friendly guy, the life of the party when we were students. But my heart sank as I remembered that he also had been Dylan's suite-mate for a semester. I was sure it would fun to get together with him, but I was fearful that word would get back to Dylan. 

"Sure I do, but Sash, you can't let him know that we're together here!" 

"I know, I didn't say anything. Maybe we could say we just bumped into each other on the flight. It would be fun to see him." 

"We'll see - he roomed with Dylan, you know." 

"Yes, I realized that," he said with hint of sadness in his voice. "We'll just have to be discreet." 

"Oh, God, yes," I said seriously. "We must be very careful. I can't possibly let slip what we're doing. Even at the hotel, they know me. Please remember that!" 

He took my hand. "Don't worry, I won't say a thing, no matter how much sake they make me drink!"

I got out my Palm Pilot and looked at my schedule of meetings. We would be arriving in Tokyo on Saturday evening, which left us all day Sunday free. But starting on Monday morning, I had a full slate of meetings and presentations through Wednesday. I had planned to make courtesy calls to existing clients on Thursday and Friday.

I got an idea. Thursday would be a great day to come down with a nasty stomach bug. I'll have to cancel my appointments to spend the day in bed. Instead, we can take the train up to Samayoko at the foot of Mt. Fuji and spend the night at that inn! My turn for a surprise!

I smiled as I hatched my little plan. 

"What are you smiling about?" he asked suspiciously. 

I put down my computer. "I'm smiling because you make me feel so good, and so bad at the same time. I'm figuring out exactly how many times I'm going to have my way with you in Japan." 

"And...?" 

I picked my computer up again and pretended to read from it. "Exactly 7,841 kisses, 89% with tongue, 3,011 caresses, 17 heavy petting sessions, two-point-three-six blowjobs... oh, shit, it burned out before it can figure out how many times I was going to fuck you. Sorry!"

He grabbed the computer out of my hand. "Let me see that!" he demanded. "Hmmm - it says here that I get to eat you 42 times - you forgot that one." 

I chuckled. "42? You'd better get busy! We only have a few days!" 

He playfully bent his head to my lap and inhaled deeply. Stroking my leg, he tugged at the waistband to my drawstring pants. My crotch started to surge. I looked around in the darkened cabin. There were still many people awake, including a woman directly across the aisle. I didn't like the probability of being caught. 

"Sasha!" I whispered urgently. "Let's save that! Not that there's anything I want more, but look - there are too many people around." He lifted up his head. "Besides, I want all of you and you want me. All we have to do is wait a few more hours. Then we'll have a proper reunion." 

"All right," he reluctantly agreed. "But just one little taste?" 

I punched him again on the arm. 

He winced and said, "Ow!"

We got our pillows and blankets and settled in for the rest of the long flight. He asked me how things were with Dylan. 

"I don't want to talk about it now. Let's just say, it's not any easier to live with him - or without him for that matter." I took his hand in mine and peered intently into his face. "Promise me that we're not going to talk about Dylan, or about what will become of us, while we're on this trip. It is just so difficult right now; I don't want to spoil one single moment." 

"You're right," he said and patted my hand. 

I fell asleep with my head against his shoulder.

It was daylight when I awoke. Everything seemed so different in the morning light. It dissolved all the frustrations and agonies of the day before. The Land of the Rising Sun was near. I turned my head to see if Sasha was still asleep. There is nothing like gazing at a lover when they are unaware. I studied the angles of his face, the textures, the colors. His expression was calm, even serene. It gave me so much confidence to look at him, so much excitement to know that I was the one he might be dreaming about.

After he awoke, we talked about what he should see and do during the days I would be in meetings. He'd done his homework, even learning a few Japanese phrases. I had studied Japanese and had a decent command of the spoken language, enough with which to conduct business. I had a great respect for the Japanese people and their culture and loved most everything about my trips there. I was also looking forward to being able to show off a little for him. 

We finally landed, made our way through customs easily and emerged into the throngs in the Narita terminal. For a first time visitor, even one from a big city, the crowds in Japan can be overwhelming. You can't be shy or else you'll be trampled. I'd learned how to be polite, but assertive when it came to negotiating even small things like walking from Point A to Point B. I strolled confidently along, not giving ground to anyone who walked in my path. Sasha trotted behind me, trying to keep up, constantly saying "Excuse me" in Japanese if he brushed anyone's arm. 

I made it out to the sidewalk. I turned around as he came up, panting, a good sweat on his forehead. "What's the matter?" I teased. "We just had to walk a little ways!" 

"Is it like this everywhere?" he exclaimed incredulously. 



Sasha Ch. 08



Such sensual images dominated my dreams that night. I felt hands touching me all over, in a disjointed fashion. I saw faces of people I knew and faces of strangers. Everything went past me like I was traveling on a slow moving river. I heard bits of oriental sounding music. Indefinable sensations filled my body and my soul. Am I still dreaming? Is someone touching me now? 

I opened my eyes; there was the faintest light coming from the edge of the shutters -- just enough to make out a silhouette of my lover beside me. I could feel his fingertips barely skimming the surface of my skin. How I love that. I shifted slightly and stretched. He went up and down my arm, across my fingers and down to my hip, along the outside of leg and up the inside. I spread my legs a little more. He traced a silky path low across my stomach, then detoured up to my nipples. A few circles around one turned it into a rock-hard nubbin. 

My pelvis took up a rhythmic motion, trying to seduce his teasing fingers to travel south a little. After a brief stop at my navel, he finally could not resist the movement and dipped his fingers into a forest of damp down. I envisioned my cunt as a soft, wet playground the way Sasha's fingertips slid up and down, in and out. They surrounded, devoured that sweet spot, making me cry and moan for more. 

Sasha moved on top of me and slid inside, filling me completely. He moved slowly, without the urgency that overwhelmed us the evening before. More than just the physical sensation, I was blown away by the fact that this unbelievable guy was fucking me.  I reveled in the power I held over him, and the equally strong force he had over me. I felt a slow orgasm blossoming, spreading warmth and love as far as it could go to the edges of my body. 

Sasha stayed hard for a while. He eventually stopped moving, but remained within me. We fell asleep like that.

When I woke up, it was obvious it was daylight; it was Sunday now. I looked over, surprised to see Sasha gone. A noise in the bathroom alerted me to his location. I got up and opened the closet. There were two simple cotton robes; I chose the smaller and put it on. I looked up as Sasha came out of the bathroom -- naked. He looked good.

He smiled broadly. "What are you doing up?" he exclaimed. "Get back into bed!" He grabbed my arm and we tumbled to the mattress together. 

"Oh, Sasha," I exclaimed, "that was fantastic last night! Have you ever had it so good?" I looked at him, smiling broadly. "Every time is better than the last, I swear. How can that be?" 

He rose to his knees, beat his chest with his fists, and declared with an exaggerated accent. "Bee-cause I am Russian-Amer-ee-can Sex God; all others bow down before me!" 

I howled with laughter! I pulled him down; we kissed. He slid his hand under my robe and gave my breasts a little squeeze. Then he leapt up and opened the shutters; hazy sunlight filled the room, making me squint. 

He stood at the foot of the bed. "Your Lord and Master says it is time to start the day, to go forth and explore! We must prepare ourselves first. I will draw a bath for us while you call room service and get us something to eat with lots of coffee!" He clapped his hands over his head. "Hop to it now!"

I did as he commanded. We soon had a cart full of Asian and Western breakfast dishes to choose from. I feasted on rice and grilled eel while Sasha demolished a plate of ham and eggs with at least four pieces of toast. Although I love Japanese tea, the restorative powers of coffee were what I desired that morning. Can't beat caffeine and protein! I would need an energy transfusion to enjoy the days, and especially the nights, with my sex god. 

When we had eaten our fill, he took my hand and led me into the bathroom. Water was flowing into a deep tub. He poured some bath oils under the gushing faucet. The scent of sweet lavender filled my head. He held my hand while I stepped in. We sat down and let the warmth of the water creep into our bones. I lay back with my eyes closed, feeling his hand restart those familiar sensations in my crotch. Wow, here we go again. I found it astonishing that I could be aroused again and again by someone's touch like this. 

I opened my eyes. I suddenly flung myself on top of him, kissing him frantically all over his face, neck, and throat. I found myself filled with such adoration of him; there was no other word for it. When I pulled away, he smiled wickedly at me. 

"Sasha, you are a sex god and I worship you for it. I want to pay my respect to your powers. Tell me what I might offer to prove myself worthy. What is the best thing I could do for you?"

His expression turned thoughtful just for a moment. Then he realized what he wanted. 

"I have never forgotten the blowjob you gave me at school. It was a sensation I have never had repeated. I want you to suck me like that again."

"At once, Your Excellency. I will prepare immediately. And just to let you know; this time will be even better. Wait here one moment while I get something."

I jumped out of the tub, ran to my purse and returned quickly. Sasha looked at me quizzically, but I just smiled. 

There was a ledge Sasha could sit on, so when I kneeled in front of him, my mouth would be the right height. The oil in the water made our skin slippery to the touch, which was perfect for what I was going to do. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as I let my hands do the preliminary work. 

I started with a light touch, just enough to wake the sleeping giant. With small spasms, it began to come to life, to lengthen and thicken. It is a process I never get tired of watching, certainly never get tired of causing! I put my fingers around it, caressing slowly, going round one way, then the other. I pulled upwards, applying more and more pressure on each stroke. Sasha started to shift in his seat. Through gritted teeth he implored, "Now, please." 

Very slowly, looking him in the eyes, I moved my lips down until I made contact. His penis jerked in anticipation of what was about to happen. My lips moved up and down the shaft, never losing contact. My tongue darted in and out as I trailed over every inch of smooth, hard flesh. I looked up; he had a look of great intensity on his face. He was ready for the real thing. 

I slowly let my mouth sink onto him, not putting too much pressure on yet. He inhaled sharply. I wiggled my tongue on the underside as I pulled up. "Oh!" Down again I went, going a little further this time, applying a little more pressure. My hands stayed busy working his balls and fingering his asshole. After a few more repetitions, I was able to take all of him in my mouth. His shaft touched the back of my throat. He moaned loudly as I swallowed a few times. 

When he put his fingertips on the back of my head, I let him control the rhythm. He pushed me down several more times, then started to shake. I sucked his cock for all I was worth. He yelled something in Russian I didn't understand. His cum exploded into my mouth and dripped down my chin and chest. He slumped back and slid into the bath water, totally exhausted. 

He pulled me close. We lay there until the water got too cold to bear.

When we were finally able to move, Sasha asked, "What in the world did you do to me? I've never felt such an intense sensation."

I smiled wickedly. "I guess it's true what they say about Altoids..." 

His eyes opened wide.

By noon, we were ready to see some of the city. Before we left, Sasha called our friend Stan to see if we get together with him that night. I reluctantly agreed that we would tell Stan that Sasha just bumped into me on the flight -- not much else we could say. Stan invited us to join him and his wife for dinner, which he promised to be very special. "Dress up for this one," we were instructed. 

We finally left the hotel and emerged onto the Tokyo streets. The smell of diesel engines and sound of horns and motorbikes hit us immediately. I smiled and breathed deeply. This attack on my senses really gave me a thrill every time I traveled in Japan. I grabbed Sasha's hand and we merged into the crowds on the sidewalk, headed towards the nearest subway stop. I bought the tickets and we descended with the multitudes onto the platform. 

"I am so glad you know where you're going. I don't know how I would have found my way around on my own," Sasha told me with a respectful tone. 

With a map of the Tokyo subway system in hand, I pointed out to him our location and our destination to help him get acquainted. 

We headed towards the district of Harajuku, which I thought was a great introduction to Tokyo. We took a stroll down the promenade of Omotesando Dori and did some window-shopping. There was a flea market still open in one of the narrow streets. Sasha seemed to enjoy watching the residents do their shopping as they have for centuries. We wandered around, bought snacks from street vendors and finally stopped at a tiny outdoor café to have a cold Kirin beer. 

One of the sights I never tire of seeing is the Japanese teenagers on parade dressed in outrageous, colorful clothing and hairstyles. In a culture that revolves around conformity to a dull, drab code, this youthful display was a delight. On each visit, it seemed to me they got crazier, piercing or tattooing every possible inch of skin.

The passing show fascinated Sasha. "I never knew I'd see something like this here!"

In the late afternoon, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. As Sasha turned on the shower, I told him that I needed to check my e-mail and organize my documents for the next day's meetings. 

"Shall I start without you, sweetheart?" 

"All right, but save me some hot water."

I hooked up my laptop and logged onto my e-mail system. Among the e-mails waiting for me was one from Dylan. I opened that one first.

"Hi there! Hope you trip went well. On Friday, I was looking for the Deed of Trust in order to close on that car loan. I can't find it at home. I must have it for Monday's closing. Do you know where it is? Thanks."

No "Love you lots" or "can't live without you." Oh well. If he could only see me now...

I replied to his e-mail:

"Konichiwa! Trip was very long and trying, but I arrived safely. So sorry - I left DOT at the office when I faxed it to the bank a couple of weeks ago. If you stop by the office, you can ask Renee to get it for you - it's in one of my desk drawers. I'll e-mail you later in the week."

I didn't add my own "love yous" either. Oh, fuck him, I thought. I slipped off my kimono and headed for the shower.



Sasha Ch. 09



We met Stan and his Japanese wife, Michiko, at a subway stop near the Ginza. She wore a stunning traditional kimono, a sight seen too infrequently in modern Japan. Although she spoke English well enough, she seemed to enjoy speaking Japanese with me. I found her to be delightful and we hit if off immediately. 

Stan hadn't changed much from our school days; the years had been good to him. He was a successful computer consultant, traveling quite a bit before getting married and settling down. His sense of humor hadn't diminished either. We stopped at a bar first and after a few drinks, we howled at one recollection after another of our escapades at school, usually under the influence. "Do you remember how me and Dylan and Josh threw you in the pool on your birthday? You were all dressed up, ready to go out to dinner. We thoroughly enjoyed the vision of you in your wet dress! You were spitting mad, but you got Dylan good! That was a tackle worthy of the NFL! And, if I recall correctly, you two started going out right after that."

I gave Stan a little punch on his arm. "You're damn right I was mad! But I'm glad the wet dress made such an impression!"

"And you, Sasha! Sounds like you're all set these days. Big museum exec! I'll bet that was quite a shock running into Hallie like you did!"

"You have no idea!" He patted me on the back. 

It was only when it was time to leave for dinner did Stan reveal the culinary - and cultural - treat we were about to experience. He had arranged for us to participate in a kaiseki feast, which consists of dish after dish of artfully displayed delectables. I had been to one once and found the spectacle, as well as the food, to be the most beautiful and memorable I'd ever had in Japan. 

When we arrived at the restaurant, Michiko led me to a back room where I could borrow a kimono to wear. She selected an exquisite one in indigo with gold trim, which would look good with my blonde hair. She helped me put it on and arrange it properly.

We had a private dining area as is traditional in better Japanese restaurants. The men were sitting at a low table on tatami mats when we joined them. They both stood up as we approached. 

"Wow! You wear the kimono well," Stan exclaimed. 

Sasha gave me an intense look and smile. "Beautiful," was all he said, taking my hand. 

I blushed and lowered myself to the ground as gracefully as I could.

The kaiseki is more than just a meal. It includes ritual greetings, hand washing and traditional music. Michiko knew the meanings behind each gesture and dish and patiently explained it to us in English. Each plate was artfully presented and the flavors were spellbinding. I was truly thrilled to be taking part in such special event. I felt Sasha's hand on my leg, discretely under the table. He looked so happy.

Michiko and I stopped in the ladies' room on our way out of the restaurant after our three-hour meal had finished. I confided to Michiko that I was glad to have shed the kimono already before attempting to use the lavatory. 

"Oh, you get used to it," she explained, which was the solution to many annoyances about the Japanese lifestyle. She then looked at me closely and asked if she could ask a personal question. 

"Sure!" I was flattered because it meant that she liked me very much; Japanese do not normally ask a new acquaintance about anything personal. 

"What do you think of Sasha?" 

"He's a great guy," I responded, surprised by the question. "It was quite a coincidence to have met him on the flight over." 

"I noticed how he was looking at you during dinner," she said matter-of-factly. 

I blushed. 

Her face lit up. "Could it be that the feelings are mutual?" 

"But Michiko, what am I to do?" I brought up my hand and made sure she could see my wedding ring. 

"I can only offer one suggestion to a woman in your position, far from home with a handsome suitor: Abec-hoteru." 

I brought my hand over my mouth in a gesture of surprise or embarrassment that many Japanese women make, my eyes expressing my amusement at the suggestion. It means "love hotel." Since few singles have their own living quarters, lovers take a room for a few hours at such perfectly legitimate establishments. Rooms are lavishly decorated and contain every conceivable erotic aid: porno channel, hardware, sex-toy shop in the lobby, massage, etc. Not that I had ever been to one, but it was common knowledge what goes on. 

"Well, could you suggest a nice one?" I couldn't believe I was talking to someone about this. I suddenly realized it had been very difficult not to reveal this secret about Sasha to any other person. 

She wrote down an address for me. "Stan and I took a room here once or twice while we were dating. You two make such an attractive couple. I don't blame you. Have some fun and let tomorrow figure itself out." Now that was not a typical Japanese outlook. 

"I can count on your discretion, I'm sure," I reminded her. 

"Absolutely."

We finally stepped outside to join the men-folk. 

I went over to Stan and said, "I know you wanted to go out to a karaoke place, but I'm not going to be able to tonight. I've got early meetings tomorrow so we have to get back early tonight. Maybe later on in the week, OK?"

"Yeah, I figured. I'll call Sasha about it. Good luck tomorrow!"

He suggested that we walk a few blocks to a taxi-queue, to enjoy the balmy evening and vivid street scene. He and Michiko plunged into the crowd. "Come on!"

Sasha and I fell into place next to each other a few seconds behind. He grabbed my elbow and pulled me closer to his side. I looked up, smiling suggestively. I whispered, "Have I got a surprise for you!" 

He raised his eyebrows in mock horror and hissed, "What?" 

"Not tellin'! Later on!" I pulled away and caught up to Stan and Michiko, looking over my shoulder slightly. Ever since she had made her suggestion, it was all I could think about. I was wondering what new heights of sexual pleasure Sasha and I could possibly reach! 

We found a cab quickly. Before I got in, Michiko and I embraced lightly. She said softly, "Go get him! Oh, I forgot to tell you. Order a massage at the hotel, too. I think you'll enjoy it!" 

I laughed loudly, with my hand over my open mouth, of course. As the taxi pulled away from the curb, we turned around and waved to them until they disappeared from view. Sasha and I put our arms around each other. 

"So what's my surprise? I'm dying to know." 

"Not yet, bad boy. But I'll tell you this, we're not going directly back to our hotel room." 

"Oh, really?" His eyes opened wide with surprise. 

"That's all I will say."

We soon were riding through a more crowded, seedier, retail district with narrow streets. Brightly colored signs and neon lights broke the darkness with sharp colors, another way Tokyo challenges one's senses.

We pulled to a curb and the driver told me we had reached the address. I paid him; we stepped out. I stopped on the sidewalk and looked at the building. I was a little intimidated by the surroundings, but my lust overruled any objections my head might be offering. 

There was a man in a small cashier's booth just within the doorway. When we stepped inside, the man called out from behind the glass. "Look at board - if a picture of a room is light, it good." 

On a display next to the cashier's booth, there were about a half dozen backlit photographs. I gazed upon rooms with different motifs: jungle, futuristic, even brass bed Victorian! Beneath each picture was the price per hour, plus a list of what I assume was the equipment in the room. I couldn't quite understand all the Kanji characters. 

"So, what are you in the mood for?" I asked Sasha. 

"Is this place what I think it is?" He stood with his mouth open in surprise. 

"You betcha! Welcome to a Love Hotel!" 

"Wow! I've heard about these places! What ever made you think to come here?" 

"Michiko, if you can believe it! She took one look at you and knew you were dangerous. She seems to approve, though, and gave me the address!" 

"You are too much!" He pulled me close, playfully grabbing my breast. 

I couldn't resist, and grabbed his crotch in return. 

"We'd better choose one quick, huh?" He looked at the board for a moment, then turned to me and said in a very sexy voice, "Jungle." I laughed.

I went up to the booth to give the man the number. He quoted me a price and asked, "Massage?" 

I thought for a second. "Sure!" 

"Just man, or you too?" 

"Me too." 

"Regular or full treatment?" 

I had no idea what that meant. "Uh, full treatment." 

He quoted me another price. It wasn't cheap, but nothing was in Tokyo. 

I paid the man. He handed me a key. 

"We ring you when time up. Masseuse be there in 20 minutes. Toy shop over there," he said, pointing to a small display case. 

Sasha bent down to better see the wares. I didn't think much of it until I heard Sasha asking the man in the booth, "Uh, you have any big dildos?" I almost died. 

The man didn't understand and looked at him quizzically. 

"Um, buzzzzzz?" Sasha made a ring with his thumb and forefinger, slid it up and down while moving it rapidly from side to side in front of him. 

The man gave a big silvery-toothed grin and came out from behind his partition. He unlocked the display case, brought out a tray of vibrators in many shapes, sizes and colors, and presented it with a little bow to Sasha. Then they both turned to me and smiled while the man offered the case in my direction to make a selection. 

I put my hands over my face and hung my head down. "I can't believe you're doing this! You pick one!" I said, half laughing, half mortified. 

Sasha pointed at one and pulled out some money to pay for his purchase. He looked very pleased with himself, swinging the bag in his hand as we walked to the elevator.

We took the tiny elevator to our floor and went down a short, dark corridor. Heavy metal music at high volume came from one room we passed by. We opened the door to our room and stepped inside. 

I took one look and said, "Oh my God..." 

"Jungle" didn't do justice as a word to describe the decor. A dim bulb showed through a red lampshade, casting an orange glow on the miniscule room. Tiger stripes were everywhere; on a furry bedspread, small upholstered chair, even the wallpaper. We both looked in different areas of the room to see what "equipment" they had. "Ooh, I like these," Sasha exclaimed. He held up a handcuff lined with leopard fur, attached to the wall by a fabric chain. 

"Hmmm, we'll see!" I responded. 

Sasha flipped on the TV; images of huge-breasted western women came into focus. Sasha sat on the bed and stared intently at the screen. 

"OK, thanks, sweetheart, I'll see you later," he teased. 

I came up behind him and put him into a chokehold. "Oh, you'd rather have big, fake, plastic boobs, than smaller, but real ones? 

"Yours are real?" he exclaimed mockingly, as he turned and pawed at me. "Let me see!" 

"Oh, no you don't!" 

I scooted to the other side of the bed, out of his grasp, giggling. He lunged and caught my foot, pulling me back within his reach. Throwing himself on top of me, he pinned my hands above my head with one of his. He began to unbutton my blouse, laughing, while I struggled to free my arms. 

"You're a wild one tonight! I think you would be better off restrained." 

He reached over, grabbed one of the handcuffs and slipped it over my wrist. I howled in protest. He did the same to my other hand. I yanked on the cuffs, but not too hard. I started to feel very aroused.

He straddled my hips and took his time unbuttoning my blouse. Then he unzipped my skirt and pulled it off. He brushed his lips over the tops of my breasts where they overflowed my bra. He reached down and undid the hooks in front that held it together. As the last one fell away, he pushed the bra aside and fondled me. Then he stopped, slid off me and removed his shirt and pants, keeping his boxer shorts on.

Suddenly a knock came at the door. "Massage!" said a female voice, in English. 

"Oh my God, Sasha, I forgot to tell you! I ordered us a massage!" 

A smile lit up his face. "You stay there," he commanded, as if I had a choice. My heart beat faster. Someone was going to see me like this!

Sasha opened the door. An attractive young woman in skin-tight pants and a frilly midriff blouse came in. 

"Good evening," she said, without seeming to notice that Sasha was almost naked and that I was handcuffed to the bed. "You want massage, right? OK, man go first. More fun if lady watch." She patted Sasha on the chest and smiled. "You good looker, aren't you?" 

She pointed to the end of bed and told him to lie down on his stomach. She reached into a drawer and pulled out some oils that she applied to her hands. He lay down, turned his face towards me, and winked. 

I'd never fantasized about watching another woman with my man, but there was no denying I found it stimulating. She expertly, but quickly, massaged his shoulders and arms, then went to work on his back while softly cooing about how big and strong he was. She slid her hands down to his shorts and slipped her long-nailed fingers under the fabric. He squirmed at her touch, but had a smile on his face. 

She looked at me and said, "Full treatment, right?" 

I nodded. 

"What's that mean?" Sasha asked. 

"You turn over, I show you." 

He turned onto his back and she quickly pulled his shorts off. I couldn't believe my eyes; I had no idea I'd purchased this! Nevertheless, I was starting to feel very horny and was interested in seeing what she'd do to him.

She massaged his neck and chest first and worked her way down to his stomach. Then she knelt between his legs and started rubbing his calves, moving to his thighs. His erection grew. "Oh, you are a big boy!" She applied more oil to her hands and lightly gripped him. With her long, graceful fingers, she moved up and down his shaft. 

All of a sudden, he grabbed her by the wrist and lifted his head. "That was great, but I want to save it," as he nodded his head towards me. 

"OK, that's good. Now we get lady ready to take you." 

"Oh, yes, I want you to do her. I've always wanted to watch." 

She smiled. "I think you will like."

They both turned their attention to me. "Leave her tied up," he commanded. 

I shivered with anticipation.

She started at my feet and massaged my legs. By the time she finished there, I was comfortable with her touch and starting to feel extremely horny again. She massaged my arms and shoulders, then drizzled some oil on my breasts. 

Sasha sat at the end of the bed; he looked at me and said, "Is this OK with you?" 

I ran my tongue around my lips. "It feels really good, baby." 

He smiled. 

She gently rubbed the oil into my breasts and around my nipples. My hips started to rock. Sasha grabbed my panties and slid them off. That's when our masseuse spied the dildo Sasha had put on the table. 

"Oh, this make you feel good. Let me show you." 

She flipped the little switch at one end. I could hear a low hum. She placed it on my upper arm at first and stroked it down to my hand. Then she put it on my leg, sliding it up to my hip. Sasha was running his fingertips down my other arm. I closed my eyes and felt the sensations both within and without. The vibrator made its way up my leg and stopped. 

"Put it on me," I begged, lifting my ass off the bed. 

She held it right above my cunt and finally laid it against my vulva. I jumped a little at the intensity, then thrust my pelvis closer to it to feel it again. She placed it onto my entire cunt and pressed down. 

"Oh my God!" I cried. "More!" 

Sasha was pinching my nipple with one hand and caressing my thigh with the other. The masseuse rolled the vibrator on top of my cunt and let it rest on my clit. I started to moan and tremble. 

Sasha said, "Hold on, I want to ride this one!" 

He knelt up and placed himself between my legs; he inserted his penis into me. The vibrator resumed its duty on my clit. Sasha thrust himself in and out quickly; my climax was close at hand. In a few seconds, I felt my orgasm building and exploding. All Sasha's muscles tightened when he came with a loud "Ohhhh!" as my contractions were fading.

"You English always come quick," said our masseuse with a smile, surveying our limp bodies on the bed. 

"Be sure to tip her!" I managed to say to Sasha before she left.



Sasha Ch. 10



We took a taxi back to our hotel. The clock glowed 2:34 as we stumbled into our room. That meant I only had a few hours to sleep before my big day started. I set the alarm for 6:00. I immediately fell into a dead slumber, with a strong arm around me.

When the alarm went off, I jumped up without hesitation. I started to rehearse my presentation in my mind. I took a quick shower, and within a half-hour I was dressed, seated at my laptop. Room service brought up coffee and breakfast. Sasha stirred slightly, but didn't wake up. I allowed myself a few moments of reflection on what had happened last night. I couldn't believe it was me who'd actually done such unthinkable things in a love hotel with this man lying just a few feet away from me. I looked at him, illuminated by the dim light from my computer screen. My heart ached for just an instant.

I forced myself to look away, to concentrate on my work at hand. By 7:30, I was ready to leave. I sat on the edge of the bed next to Sasha. I brushed an unruly lock of hair from his eyes. He stirred.

He half opened his eyes and a smile appeared. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. "Good morning, you wild thing you," he said hoarsely. "You conquered the jungle last night - are you ready to defeat the corporate dragon today?" 

Laughing, I replied, "I'm going to have a hard time keeping a straight face in front of all those serious businessmen if my mind wanders to our experience last night. If they only could have seen me in chains!" 

"Well, that's an image I'm going to remember forever!" 

I bent over and gave him a kiss on his forehead. "I'm off. Wish me luck. I don't know when I'm going to see you; I'll be dining with my hosts, so don't wait around. I will try to get back as early as possible, but I'm going to be dead tonight."

"You'll be phenomenal. I'm not worried one bit. Go get 'em, then come back for me!"

During the long taxi ride to my meeting, I couldn't get the picture out my mind of Sasha lying naked in the bed, rumpled sheets draped carelessly over him. It was all I could do to keep from telling the cabby to turn around, to go back to the hotel.

At 11:30 PM, I wearily put the key-card into the lock and opened the door to our room. At first, I didn't think Sasha was in the room, but suddenly, he pulled the doorknob out of my hand and leapt from behind the door. Startled, I jumped a bit, but he reached out to hold me up. I felt such relief flow into me. I jokingly collapsed in his arms. 

"Long day, huh?" 

I looked up and was shocked to see a number of vases of flowers decorating the room. "Where'd these come from?" I demanded. 

"From beautiful Japanese gardens, although their beauty can't quite compete with yours." 

"Wow, do I need to hear that right now. Thank you!" His extravagant gesture touched me deeply.

He led me over to the bed, made me sit down and lifted my feet up. "What can I get for you? Food? Drink? Handcuffs?" 

I chuckled. "You are so sweet. I need sleep, nothing else. I wish I could play with you tonight, but I truly must get to bed. I'll make it up to you, I promise." 

"No problem, don't worry about a thing. Just tell me, how did it go today?" 

"Very well, actually. Once I got into it, I handled all their questions. I think I won a few skeptics over. We went out to dinner. Once we've had a few drinks and they loosen up, I always score a few points by being a Western woman who's open minded enough, and maybe even smart enough, to know the language and the customs. That makes me feel good." 

"And it should!" He patted my arm. 

"I almost lost it, though, when the conversation turned to the Love Hotel! When the subject came up, I played the total innocent! I asked my neighbor what exactly was that? He whispered to me, 'Where you'll find all of our Executive Board members on Thursday afternoons - but not with their wives!' I sure hope he never sees a videotape of us circulating on the porno channel there!"

Sasha knelt beside me and helped me take off my clothes. I didn't resist; I felt as limp as a rag doll. He slipped my negligee over my head. I lay back, closing my eyes. I felt him kissing my cheek. I don't even know if I said good night before I fell asleep.

Tuesday was a repeat of Monday -- early start, more presentations and meetings all day. I once again attended dinner with a group of executives and got back to the hotel late. I wasn't quite as exhausted as the previous night, so I could cuddle on the bed with Sasha. He told me about all the things he had done in the previous two days, the sights he had visited. 

"Now that I'm getting the hang of finding my way around, I love this place!" he exclaimed. "I also met with the antiquities curator at the Imperial Museum, which was quite a coup! We established a good rapport. I think that alone will have justified my trip here, at least in my boss' eyes." 

"Excellent! Maybe we can arrange another trip on the sly together!" 

His face fell, which surprised me. He looked at me forlornly. "I don't want to sneak around on our next trip. I want everyone to know I'm here with you." 

I pulled his head down on my chest and stroked his hair. "So do I." 

He lifted his head up. "Are you saying that you've made a decision?" 

I frowned. "No, that's not it. I haven't been able to spare one minute to make a decision about us, about my situation, although it's always in the back of my mind. Please understand. I'm not trying to make this harder on you, or on me for that matter, but it's just not clear yet what I should do, how I should proceed. OK?" 

He looked contrite. "I'm sorry. I'll say no more until you're ready." 

He reached over for the light and the room fell into darkness. He gathered me in his arms; within minutes, it sounded like he was asleep. I stayed awake for quite a while, trying to envision how I could go forward without having him in my life. I finally fell into a restless sleep.

On Wednesday, I started the process of contact negotiation with my potential clients. Not that I expected to complete any deals; there would be much give and take before the president of my company and the president of theirs met in a formal ceremony. 

When I first arrived at company headquarters high in a Tokyo skyscraper that morning, I sat in a small meeting room, alone, waiting for my clients to assemble at the appointed time. There was one vice president who, over the course of our meetings, had seemed especially friendly to me. He came into the room and bowed; I stood up and did the same. 

"Konichiwa, Yaguda-san!" I said. "It is a splendid morning to enjoy your beautiful view from your fine offices, not to mention your gracious hospitality." 

He laughed softly. "You have learned well the required courtesies of doing business in Japan. But you can cut the crap with me." 

I put my hand over my mouth and laughed. 

"I knew you would see the humor," he said, smiling at me. "But the reason I came to see you here is to alert to how things are going regarding our company's decision to use your services. I thought you would like to know that my colleagues are very impressed with your presentation and your company... and you. I'm sure there will be a few more details to be worked out, and you should not mention our conversation when the meeting convenes, but you may rest assured that my company and yours will be entering a partnership in the very near future."

"Domo arrigato, Yaguda-san!" I am happy to hear these words!" I was elated that I could bring back such good news so quickly to my company. 

Yaguda replied, "I am pleased as well. I hope that this new contract will require your presence in these offices often." I must have blushed. He moved in closer and looked directly at my chest. "I hope that you may honor me by joining me for a private dinner tonight to celebrate the success of your visit." 

I wasn't expecting such an invitation. It was clear he did not have simply business on his mind. I would have to excuse myself, but very carefully.

"Yaguda-san, your invitation is generous; I am pleased, but I must respectfully decline for tonight. I am expected to join an important conference call with my superior during this evening and I also must compose my report on my meetings here. Perhaps when I return after the contract is signed, I may have more time to accept your invitation." 

He looked at me intently, then bowed slightly. "Until our next meeting, then." He turned and left the room. 

I breathed a big sigh of relief. 

By four o'clock, we had worked out many of the details. There was nothing further I had to do to secure this contract. It was clear what Yaguda had told me would come to pass. I was thrilled. I would certainly return to my office with a hero's welcome.

I politely declined more dinner offers; at this point, I didn't have to attend. I finally was able to get into a cab and make my way back to the hotel. Only when I had a minute to myself and thought about being with Sasha did I realize that he wouldn't be there that evening. He had mentioned that Stan and Michiko had invited him to their home for dinner. Damn it! In a moment, though, the thought of spending some time alone became more appealing. From the time Sasha joined me on my flight, I'd either been thinking about him, or thinking about work. I needed some time to think about me. 

I returned to my room and slipped on a casual, more comfortable dress. I knew where I would go for some good thinking time: the gardens of the Imperial Palace. I took another cab there, soon finding myself at the exquisite gate that marked its entrance. Once inside the perimeter, the sounds and smells of the city seem to melt away. The Gardens were truly the oasis I needed.

I strolled slowly among the beautiful bonsai displays and the small ponds filled with water lilies. Flower-laden trees with low-hanging branches provided a visual escape. Men in straw hats, obviously gardeners, trimmed bushes with small shears. The hazy Tokyo twilight cast a pink glow on the garden. 

I sat on a bench at the very edge of a pond and stared at my reflection. 

Who are you? I asked myself. 

I took stock. Businesswoman, and a good one. Linguist and world traveler. I was very proud of my accomplishments. Lover? No question there.

I smiled at the recollection of the nights just past. 

Now on to the hard one: wife? Officially, yes. So, am I still one? Yes, most definitely. Do I still want to be one? No answer came to mind immediately. OK, so if I'm having doubts, doesn't that mean I should bow out? Well... Can I have it both ways, then? Can I be a wife of one and be a lover of another? Would that make me happy? No, it would not. The constant keeping up of pretences would be insane. So if I'm not happy with Dylan, and deliriously happy with Sasha, shouldn't it be easy to choose? I'm a coward, I decided. 

The prospect of telling Dylan left me scared me to death. I couldn't imagine how he would take it. It would be ugly. 

Well, why can't I just endure my punishment for a short period of time in order to earn what will make me happy? But... will it all make me happy for the long run? 

I felt better when I realized this was the central question that needed an answer: Will being with Sasha forever after make me happy? I tried to picture us together in ten, even twenty years. I couldn't conjure up any images. 

My relationship with Sasha up to now had been purely based on spur-of-the-moment sensations. No planning, no reason. Of course, that's why it was so thrilling - even addictive. It wasn't that I was ruling out a more normal, but satisfying relationship with him, it was that almost nothing we had done together fit that definition - I had nothing to judge it on. 

I must be getting mature, I thought, if I'm coming to a rational decision about something based on tomorrow, not now. I must talk to Sasha about how, even if he views us together many years from now. That will help me make my decision.

When I looked up, it was almost dark. I stood up and hurried towards the exit, feeling a little less inner turmoil than when I entered.



Sasha Ch. 11



When I got back to our room, I discovered that Sasha had not yet returned. I took some time to organize my notes from my meetings and called my boss to relay the good news. He was very pleased at how rapidly the negotiations had progressed. "Great job, Hallie! We've never gotten this far with them before, until I assigned you." 

I had to take advantage of the goodwill I had just secured. "Don, if you don't mind, I'm going to skip my courtesy calls tomorrow. I've got some kind of stomach bug and I don't think..."

"No problem - You've earned a day in bed after pulling this one off!" he assured me.

Good! I was in the clear for my surprise trip with Sasha.

I had been able to reserve a room at the inn at Samayoko during a break in my meetings earlier in the week. I had seen this place once during a trip through the countryside years ago and had always thought it would make a very romantic destination should I ever return to Japan with a husband. Funny how things turn out... 

We would take the bullet train for the short trip north. I wanted to take Sasha to the walking trails on the base of the Mt. Fuji. It was such an important traditional destination for the Japanese who had so much respect for the spirituality of the mountain. 

It occurred to me that tomorrow night would be our last night together on this trip. The prospect of parting again made my stomach hurt. 

I made myself not think about it. I busied myself with some other work, then checked my e-mail. There were lots of notes from the office, but suprisingly, nothing from Dylan. I actually felt a little relieved.

I decided to get some dinner in one of the hotel restaurants, ate quickly and went back to the room. Still no Sasha. Well, I might as well get comfortable. I changed into my negligee, climbed into bed, and turned on the TV. I fell asleep immediately.

Through the depths of my slumber, I heard the door to the room open and Sasha's voice. "I was hoping you'd be here." I didn't move. I heard him go into the bathroom and I fell back asleep. 

The next thing I was aware of was a hand moving over my arm. I opened my eyes slightly; it was dark. The hand moved down to my hip and continued over the soft fabric of my negligee. I woke a little more. I moved my hand to his chest. 

"I knew I could get your attention," he whispered. 

He kissed my forehead and moved slowly down over my nose to my mouth. He rolled on top of me. Our lips met in a smoldering kiss. We began to caress each other more frantically. He moved his mouth down my chin and neck and down the center of my chest. 

"Let's get this off," he said, pulling my nightgown over my head. 

He reached over and took a breast in each of his hands, running his thumbs over my nipples. My head fell back as I felt the erotic waves flow through me. He pushed me back on the bed and lay down beside me. I put my hand lower to stroke his erection. His hips started to rock. I felt his fingers on my stomach, moving down, encircling my clit. I spread my legs wide open. 

"Take me now."

He positioned himself above me. I brought my knees up to my chest. I felt him slide slowly into me; I gasped from the sheer pleasure of the sensation. He lowered himself onto me, thrusting his tongue into my mouth. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He moved slowly at first, building up a steady rhythm. I moved my hips and soon we were slamming our pelvises together in a frenzy, seeking our mutual release. A low sound came from his throat, his pace increased and he lifted up his head, moaning loudly. I put my hands on his chest; suddenly, he collapsed on me. 

Much to my surprise, Sasha rolled off and buried his face in his pillow. He went to sleep! 

At first, I felt angry - what about me? But in a moment, I chuckled. I guess even Sex Gods need to get off without worrying about whether they gave us much pleasure as they got! I also smelled a good deal of alcohol on his breath, so it shouldn't have been a great surprise after all. 

Nevertheless, I was quite aroused and not satisfied. I remembered what was in my nightstand drawer - Sasha's little purchase from the love hotel! I reached over, opened the drawer and pulled out the vibrator. Sasha continued snoring. I put it under the sheet and turned on the switch. The low hum was hardly audible. 

My mind drifted back to that night, to the sights and sounds and feelings I experienced in that exotic atmosphere. I placed the vibrator on my inner thigh. The feel of it sent a shiver up my spine. I slid it up to the edge of my cunt. I started to surge again. I placed it on my clit. It only took a few seconds before an orgasm began to well up inside me. I slipped the vibrator down to my cunt and used my fingers on my clit. I don't know how Sasha didn't wake up with the bed shaking so violently.

I got up early the next morning, smiling with the realization we were about to embark on a romantic adventure. I moved quietly around the room, packing my suitcase. Sasha continued to sleep and I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to look at him in the morning light. Even with his disheveled hair and the shadow of a beard on his face, he looked stunning! 

About an hour later, I decided it was time to wake my man. I quietly straddled his hips, bending over to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. He stirred and frowned. 

"Oh, Jesus, my head hurts!" 

"Well, that's what you get for going out and having a good time without me!" I lightly stroked my fingers on his chest. "And -- that's what you deserve for getting me all horny and not making sure I came!" 

He opened his eyes wider. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, it's just that..." 

I silenced him with a kiss. "Don't worry, I'll make sure your punishment is fitting." I lifted myself off him and let him sit up. 

"You know," he said, "I had the strangest dream. I was dreaming there was a horrible earthquake..." He stopped, a confused look on his face. He had his hand under the blanket and he withdrew it, holding the vibrator. His face broke into an enormous smile. "Well, this explains a lot of things!" 

I lunged across him to grab it, but he quickly pulled his hand out of reach. 

"I think we experienced a very localized earth movement; no casualties, no damage!" 

"But there may a danger of aftershocks!" 

"We'll just have to ride them out! Now where's the coffee - and the aspirin?" 

I stood up to fetch them for him. 

As I was coming out of the bathroom, he suddenly exclaimed with a note of concern in his voice, "Hey, why is your bag packed? Where are you going?" 

I decided I was going to tease him for a little while longer. 

"Well, Mr. Sex God," I began with a serious tone, "I can't believe that you would fuck me and not make sure I didn't scream to the heavens every time. I'm leaving you for -- Yaguda-san! He appreciates me! He adores my huge American breasts!" 

I couldn't maintain a straight face and burst out laughing. 

Sasha reached over and grabbed me around my waist, pulling me close with my boobs in his face. He rubbed his nose in between them, then slipped the straps of my negligee off my shoulders. 

"I am the one who adores your huge American breasts!" 

He pushed them together with his hands and nuzzled my nipples. I grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking his face away. 

"That is good, but we don't have time." 

"Don't have time for what?" 

"Well, I called in sick, so I'm done with my work here in Tokyo." 

"But you're not going home, are you?" He sounded genuinely alarmed. 

I slipped off his lap and sat down beside him. 

"I have a surprise. We're going on a little trip to the countryside near Mt. Fuji. We've got a room in a romantic inn...." 

He interrupted my explanation with a very passionate kiss. 

Within a few hours, we were watching the city speed away outside the window of the famous bullet train. It is a wonderful way to travel; clean and comfortable and always on time. White-gloved attendants take your tickets and show you to your seats. The lounge car is spacious and elegant. I felt very pampered.

Our journey was not far, so we did not spend a long time on the train. We alighted at our stop and took our bags through the small station building. The town into which we emerged was a different world from Tokyo. After the controlled chaos of the big city, it was pleasant to be in a small town. 

We found a taxi and I gave the cabby the name of the hotel. The cabby looked over his shoulder at us and said, in English, "Honeymoon!" I laughed and nodded. Sasha looked confused. 

Our driver took us further and further away from residential areas. Small farms comprised the landscape; terraced rice fields decorated the hillsides.

"So where's Mt. Fuji? I thought we were going to the district." Sasha inquired. 

"Under the clouds, of course." 

It obviously had been raining before our arrival; low clouds hugged the hilltops. It was actually a rare day when the sacred peak could be seen clearly. I hoped we would have the opportunity during our short visit.

We arrived at a beautiful wooden building standing in a small clearing in a thickly forested area. As we got out of the taxi, a small, stooped old man hurried up to the car to collect the bags. A woman emerged from the front door, wiping her hands on an apron. She bowed to us and announced in heavily accented English, "Welcome to the inn! I am Mrs. Murada. I have been expect you" 

I bowed and replied in Japanese, "Thank you for your gracious welcome, Murada-san. We are honored to visit your beautiful inn and your beautiful countryside." 

Her eyes opened wide at the realization I spoke Japanese. She smiled broadly and bade us enter. We removed our shoes at the doorway and went in.

Once my eyes adjusted to the dim light, I saw a delightful, traditionally decorated country inn. Mrs. Murada led us into the living room. Sasha walked around the room admiring the pictures and ceramics decorating the shelves and walls. Mrs. Murada excused herself and returned shortly with a teapot and cups. We sat on the sofa and sipped the fragrant beverage. 

She addressed Sasha. "Please forgive, my English not so good for big talking. May speak Japanese to your wife?" 

Thankfully, he did not correct her, and nodded his agreement. 

She turned to me. "How does a beautiful English girl like you learn to speak our difficult language so well?" 

"My parents were in the Foreign Service. I learned to love traveling and learning new languages at an early age. But when one discovers a culture as old and as fascinating as yours, learning the language becomes just a tool to facilitate such study." 

She took my hand in hers. "Your husband is very handsome. I think you have come to the right place to enjoy him!" I lowered my head and blushed. She stood up and said in English, "So you must rise to your room now and see it is good for you." 

She beckoned us to follow her up the stairs. She led us to a room on the top floor and opened the door. Tatami mats covered the floor and a large futon with a beautiful quilt occupied most of the space. However, the great attraction to the room was a large window and a padded window seat. 

"Come look," she told me. 

I knelt on the pads to get a better view. From such a high perch, one could see the surrounding farms for miles, and the base of the mountain. 

"That's Mt. Fuji there" she exclaimed, "but the clouds have surrounded it. Perhaps tomorrow you will have a look. Sunrise is very beautiful." 

I turned and translated what she said to Sasha. He stooped down to catch a glimpse. 

"Do you wish to eat anything now? We will be serving dinner at 7:30 if it pleases you." 

I asked Sasha, who declined. "What we'd like to do, Murada-san," I explained to her, "is to take a walk on the mountain. I have been there before, and even in the clouds, it is a beautiful place to be." 

She agreed. She brought out a map and showed me where we should go. "My gardener will drive you in the car." She also brought out some ponchos for us to bring in case of rain. "Put on a sweater; it is much colder here than in Tokyo!" 

Although Sasha didn't understand the words, he must have understood the tone. He bowed low and said, "Domo arrigato, Mama-san!" 

She beamed, squeezing his face lovingly between her bony hands.

We sat in the back seat of the small, old Toyota and watched the passing scenery as we drove to the mountain. Sasha held me close, resting his cheek on the top of my head. 

"I love you for bringing me here," he said softly. "You do know how wonderful this trip has been, how happy I am to be here with you." 

I sighed with bittersweet contentment. 

The driver stopped at a trail that would take us around the foot of the peak to the western facing side. Cars filled a small parking lot. We saw people of all ages starting out from the gate that marked the trailhead. I told the driver we would return by 6:00. He said he would wait for us. 

The path led through a forest of small pine trees and lush undergrowth. "I guess we're not the first visitors!" Sasha pointed to the center of the stone path worn smooth by countless pilgrims' feet over the centuries. 

The trail rose gently along the base for more than a mile, and then became steeper. Stone steps and handrails were built into the black volcanic soil in places where the pitch was difficult. We had plenty of company on the trail; it was crowded with families and couples. 

We reached an overlook after two kilometers. People posed for photographs along the railing or sat on wooden benches. I looked at a map display. 

"Let's try to find a way that's not so crowded," Sasha suggested and I agreed. I spotted one marked "Difficult." 

"That ought to give us some room."

We found the sign that marked this trail and began our ascent. There were far fewer steps on this trail and we often had to scramble on our hands and knees to get up the slippery rocks. The trees began to thin out and we could see we had climbed into the misty clouds. 

After about 30 minutes, I wanted to find a place to sit. We looked around and spied a ledge that looked comfortable. Sasha put the ponchos on the damp rock and we sat back to enjoy our solitude in the mist.

"You know tonight's our last night." Sasha said softly, turning to me and taking my hands in his. 

"Yes, I do," I responded. "I know I can't avoid talking about us any longer." 

He looked at me expectantly. 

I took a deep breath. "You know, I am still very confused and uncertain about how to resolve my dilemma. It has caused me a great deal of anguish. You brought such a new dimension to my life, yet I can't deny the cost of continuing to enjoy it." Sasha frowned slightly. 

"Last night, before you came back to the hotel, I went to the Imperial Gardens and had a long talk with myself. I realized that it was a rare thing indeed for someone to marry his or her perfect mate. If we all waited for the ideal one to sweep us off our feet, very few of us would marry and the human race would have died out a long time ago. So, I guess, the compromises I made when I agreed to marry Dylan seemed acceptable - at that time. Until I ran into you, I didn't realize how painful those compromises could be. I didn't realize how much I'd given up until you showed me what was possible between two people"

My emotions welled up in my throat and I couldn't speak for a moment. Sasha stroked my hair. "Go on..."

"So I tried to analyze my dilemma logically, weighing the pros and cons of staying with my husband or starting a new life with you. I want you to think carefully before you answer a question for me. If I asked you to describe us in ten years, what do you see?"

He turned his face away and stared out into the white, foggy distance. After a moment, he looked back. "That's a harder question than I thought." 

"I thought so, too. You know why? Because we've never had anything except head-spinning lust and a fantasy voyage as the basis for our relationship."

"I know what I would want us to be doing," he insisted. "I think that after we traveled and saw as much of the world as possible, we would have a family and probably be settled in the suburbs." 

"But that's a beautiful dream, not something we can easily do, in reality." I interrupted. "I have a job that I love, and so do you. I already have a house in the suburbs and a husband who is ready to start a family. I know I'm being way too practical, but is it the best thing for me to give up the things I've worked so hard for, to abandon my marriage because we enjoy fucking so much?"

Sasha's face clouded with an angry look. I wished I were able to take back my last words. He turned away. 

He still didn't look at me when he next spoke, in a dejected tone. "Although we have had some great 'fucking,' what made it so fantastic was that it was based on love - for me, at least. Sure, we started out really fast, but is it possible for you to believe that it was never just about physical sensation?" 



Sasha Ch. 11



"Oh my God, are you all right?" Sasha cried, as he hurried down to where I lay. 

I couldn't speak for a moment. As he stepped off the trail to reach me, Sasha, too, slipped and landed on his backside beside me, splashing even more mud on me. He yelled and grasped his elbow, which began to bleed from a nasty gash from the sharp volcanic rock. He reached over and pulled me upright. 

In a moment, we caught our breath and assessed the damage. My ankle was sore, and I had a number of minor cuts and bruises. Sasha's elbow was mangled and we were both very muddy.

Sasha helped me to my feet and I tested my ankle; it hurt, but I could walk. He picked up a sturdy branch I could use as a walking stick. I put my arm around his neck and we slowly made our way down the steep slope without speaking. 

When we reached the overlook, the worst part was over. We stopped to sit on a bench for a moment. Everyone else was gone. When he turned to me and smiled, I felt relieved that our first fight was over.

"I must say we sure know how to make the last night of our vacation memorable, don't we? It's not every tourist to Japan that gets to wallow in the mud baths of Mt. Fuji!" 

I had to laugh. I felt my hair; it was matted down. Dark brown goo covered my clothes and Sasha's. 

I suddenly realized how late the time was.

"We've got to go! I wonder if our driver waited?" 

We got up stiffly and headed down the trail in the fading light. Soon, it became pitch black. We slowly felt our way down the rocky path with our feet, hoping we stayed on the trail. To make matters worse, the clouds came in again and a steady rain began to fall. 

"At least the rain will wash off some of this mud," Sasha said, trying to cheer me up. 

"Great. Sprained ankle and pneumonia. Very memorable trip," I grumbled.

After about a half hour, I heard voices shouting in the distance, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Soon we saw a flashlight ahead. 

"I wonder if that's for us," I said to Sasha. We walked a little faster. In a moment, we almost bumped into a figure; his hat told me his was a policeman. I hobbled up to him. He bowed. 

"Are you the English from the Samayoko Inn?" 

"Yes, we are! I am so sorry, but we had an accident." 

"Are you seriously injured?" 

"No, but we can certainly walk faster if we have some light." 

"Very good, I will show you the way." 

I put my arm around Sasha's neck and followed the policeman down the trail. Other police joined us and I explained to them why we were so late.

We finally arrived at the parking lot. The driver was still there waiting for us. He excitedly described how when we had not arrived by the time the trail closed, he became concerned and called the police. I thanked him. The young policeman who found us wanted to call for an ambulance, but we assured him it was not necessary. Every member of the police squad bowed to us, and we bowed in return.

Once our driver saw how wet and dirty we were, he went to the trunk of the car and fetched a plastic sheet for us to sit on. We wearily collapsed onto it and rode in silence back to the inn.

As the car pulled up to the door, Murada-san hurried out. "I was so worried about you! What happened?" 

Her eyes opened wide with shock as we emerged from the back of the car. Then she saw that I was limping and that Sasha was bloody. 

"Oh, you're hurt! Let me get you inside!" 

We followed her through a side door into the kitchen area. I once again explained what happened. 

"You must bathe first. Come with me." 

She led us to a back room where the family tub was. It was deep and had plenty of room for both of us. She opened the taps and let the steaming water flow into it. 

"Both of you, now, get those clothes off and get in. I'll be back to tend to your wounds." She hurried out.

Sasha and I peeled off our clothes and did as she commanded. Sasha had to help me over the high wooden side, but once I sunk into the hot water, I felt enormous relief, both physical and mental. 

Murada-san returned to give us some soap. She made Sasha sit near her so she could see his elbow. 

"The water will be good for it. I will bandage you when it is dry." She asked about my ankle. I held it up and could see it was a little swollen. "I will get a bandage for you, too. Now let the heat do its work to heal you." She left the room.

We gratefully sunk into the water.

I slid over to Sasha's side. "I am so sorry for tonight." 

"Sorry for falling down the mountain and giving the entire police force something to talk about?" 

I smiled. "Sorry for not having the courage to make a decision. I need just a little more time. If I can think the right way to tell Dylan, my choice will be easier. I'm going to work on it on the flight home. OK? We still have a few hours before then; please, let's make tonight our best."

I felt his strong arms gather me in; I felt his lips on mine. How can I possibly give this up? I asked myself. 

I heard Murada-san open the door. We abandoned our embrace with a telltale splash.



Sasha Ch. 12



An hour later, I was alone in our room on the top floor, sitting in the window seat, brushing my hair. Murada-san had provided us with kimonos after our bath, and bandages for our wounds. She brought us to her kitchen table and fed us delicious leftovers from the evening meal. Sasha had three bowls of rice, then asked for more! She seemed to enjoy doting on him and he enjoyed the attention. When I asked to be excused to return to the room, he wanted to stay to chat with her about her family photographs. I didn't mind; I wanted some time alone to reflect on my decision not to make a decision.

Here in Japan, having Sasha with me was the culmination of my ultimate fantasy. Who wouldn't experience the thrill of a lifetime having such a handsome and devoted suitor to travel with? In that regard, I was as lucky as anyone could possibly get. Yet his presence with me would be the cause of someone else's most crushing blow -- the destruction of their fantasy. Why did this have to be so positive or negative? Why is it all up to me?

OK, just be with him this one more night, I thought. There must be something that will happen that will make the mist clear and show you the right answer. Just enjoy him tonight without any reservation and maybe it will just happen. It was a calming thought, a very Japanese approach. Your fate has already been decided; just go with it.

I turned out the light and waited for him to return. I heard his footsteps on the stairs and saw the door open. I spoke to him as he entered the room. "Be with me tonight, Sasha, without obligation or regret on anyone's part. Tomorrow will take care of itself."

"I know it will, sweetheart." I felt his hand on my face. 

We fell together in an embrace that makes everything else irrelevant. I don't know when we shed our clothes, but it felt like we had never worn any at any time. Our skin communicated our feelings for each other. There was no urgency, just passion. Lips became the conduit of emotion. There wasn't one part of our bodies that didn't respond to each other's touch. Our motion never ceased and we could not bring ourselves to separate any part of us for an instant. It wasn't necessary to only stroke our sexual organs to facilitate arousal - every part of us served that function. It just remained for us to achieve the ultimate penetration to truly become one being. 

When he finally entered me, I had a vision of being a vessel in which we could sail to the place that would welcome us, where our problems would cease to be. I moved my body to match his rhythm, to hasten our journey to this higher ground. The bright light grew and grew in my mind's eye and my body and burst in such an explosion to rival any fireworks invented. Our movement diminished, then stopped, leaving only the sound of our breathing.

I opened my eyes after a deep sleep that night and saw a faint streak of light in the sky signaling that dawn was close at hand. I stirred and realized Sasha was not in the bed. I looked around and saw him sitting in the window seat. I slipped out of the futon and stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders. 

"Look, it's getting lighter. I think I can see the mountain," he said. "Bring the quilt over here and we can watch the sun rise together." 

I brought the quilt over to the window seat. I sat in front of him and he wrapped his arms around me and the blanket over both of us. 

As the dawn light grew stronger, his prediction proved true; the sacred peak started to become visible, its snowy peak reflecting the pink hues. The birds began to chirp and I heard a rooster in the distance. The extraordinary beauty filled me with hope that my path would be clearly marked today.

I thought about what incredible love we had made last night. I was about to say something to Sasha when I felt a drop; something wet on my shoulder. I was confused until I felt Sasha shudder. I turned my head and saw something that made my heart stop. Sasha's eyes were filled with tears.

"What is it?" I asked, although I knew full well what it was. 

He hung his head in abject sorrow, then hugged me to the point where I couldn't breathe. "I am having a hard time believing that this is the last time we will be together. You mean everything to me. It is this simple: I love you. Don't leave me, Hallie."

It finally hit me: I have found the true and real thing. Had I been crazy not to recognize it, not to acknowledge it earlier? There was no way I was going to turn away from it. I made my decision at that moment to stay with Sasha.

I knelt in front of him and took his face in my hands. "I love you so much it hurts. Yes, I will stay with you, no matter what. It pains me to see you so sad, and to know that I am the cause of that sadness. Please forgive me."

His tears disappeared at my words, replaced with the smile I had grown so dependent on. He wrapped me in his arms. We stayed like that for a long time.

Much to my surprise, once I had made my decision to stay with Sasha, I was aware of an enormous weight lifted from me. I still dreaded the confession I would have to make to Dylan, but the possibilities that lay beyond suddenly seemed possible and worth the pain I would have to inflict - and endure. I felt completely happy, a feeling that had been so elusive.

Sasha took my hand and led me back to bed. We lay there and he stroked my arm, both of us lost in thought. He lifted his head; I looked at him and smiled. 

"So, what now?" he asked. "When we return today, I don't want you go back to Denver. Please just stay in L.A. with me. I am so afraid something will happen to you."

"You mean you're afraid Dylan will do something? Kill me? He's not the violent type. He would kill me with words first before he would physically harm me." Of that, I was certain. 

"I do have to go back to Denver. I have to confront Dylan face to face. It's the only way I can do this; I have to offer him this much. I also want to wait to talk to him on Sunday. Remember, his sister's wedding is Saturday and he'll be with all his family and friends. That would be too cruel to break the news to him beforehand. I also want to talk to my boss on Monday. I need to explore job possibilities out of L.A. I think I'm valuable enough to the company that maybe they'll let me open an office there. We also need to decide if we want to stay in L.A. - there's so much we haven't talked about."

"Well, now that you're with me, there's nothing we can't do. Let's dream up something wild we could do. Nothing's impossible anymore!"

To hear him say that gave me such a surge of excitement. I never in my life felt I could do exactly what I wanted. All of a sudden, I could visualize that there were no demands on me. I would be free to pursue dreams. I pushed Sasha over to his back and rolled on top of him.

"Do you have any idea how happy you are making me at this moment? I have always been a slave to others' expectations, to my fear of disappointing others. It's a bad habit, you know. You make me feel so free. You have given me the most precious gift." I kissed him with all the passion within me. I felt the same coming from him.

A knock at the door interrupted our interlude. I rolled off Sasha and pulled up the covers. "You may enter." Murada-san opened the door with a tray of tea. 

"Good morning, my friends! I hope that you slept well and rose early to see the magnificent daybreak on the mountain!" 

"Yes, we did, and it was truly a blessing upon us! How lucky you are to see it so often!" 

She smiled at us. "I think the mountain was angry at you yesterday, but you have obviously made amends. It has appeared to us in all its beauty. You must always respect its wisdom and learn from it." 

"We will, Murada-san!" 

"Now it is time for you to rise. I know you must catch the 12:15 train back to the city." She bowed and left the room.

I started to get up out of bed, but Sasha pulled me back and hugged me close. "Just one more minute with you here, please! This is the time and place I will always remember. This is the room where you said you would stay with me. This is the place where I found something to truly live for. I am so in love with you."

I put my head on his chest and let all my tears of relief flow.

In a few hours, we had our bags packed and were standing in Murada-san's garden next to the house. She had a great variety of beautiful flowers, especially my favorite, iris. We were chatting about gardening, but she changed the subject. 

"Your experience here has been good for you and your husband, I see. I can recognize how you two have let true love rule your lives. Do I not speak the truth?" 

I blushed a little and smiled. "Murada-san has very sharp eyes and much wisdom. We have found a happiness I thought was impossible." 

"When you're in love, nothing is impossible!" 

What a wonderful woman, I thought.

We soon had our bags loaded into the car and were ready to depart for the train station. We said our reluctant good-byes. She embraced me, then turned to Sasha. I saw her whisper something in his ear and he nodded his agreement in return. We got into the car and started towards town. We waved to her as long as we could see her through the back window. 

"What secret did she tell you?" I asked. 

"Just that, a secret."

After we settled into our seats on the train, I was wound up and talkative. We had so much to plan, and I couldn't contain my excitement about finally being able to think about the future with Sasha. After I babbled on for a while, I noticed Sasha wasn't saying much. He looked pensive. 

"Hey, what's the matter? I would have thought you would be more excited, more into hatching our wild plans for the future. You're not saying much." 

He smiled weakly and patted my arm. His expression changed; he looked a little sad. 

He said softly, "I just want to get you back from Denver first. I am so afraid you'll change your mind." I tried to reassure him that, considering how happy was feeling, there was nothing that could happen at home to keep me there. He didn't look convinced.

When we arrived at the Narita station, one look at the throngs in the check-in area immediately wiped away any feelings of pleasant anticipation. I took my bags and plowed into the crowd. When we arrived at our ticket counter, my heart sank. I could not believe the length of line to check in. The line in front of the Business class section was a little less crowded, but I knew the wait would still be a long one. 

Sasha frowned. "I need to go over here," pointing to the endless line for coach check-in. 

"Oh, no. You're coming with me. The upgrade's on me." 

That got a little smile out of him. We waited as patiently as we could, but it still took about 30 minutes to reach the agent. I pushed Sasha's ticket across the counter and asked for an upgrade. 

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but your flight is oversold. We would not be able to do that for you today." 

"Oh, no," I wailed, "Now we won't be able to sit together!" 

That was an unexpected complication. The agent did take pity on us, though, and allowed Sasha to check in with me instead of having to go to the end of the long line. Small consolation.

We made our way to the gate. I held Sasha's hand on our long walk through the terminal. My emotions flip-flopped between elation and dread. We sat down in the only two seats together in the crowded waiting area.

"God, this is going to be the longest flight of my life," I said dejectedly. 

"Hey, what are you complaining about? At least you have a comfortable seat and little more leg room!" Sasha laughed and put his arm around me. "Maybe you can come back into steerage and throw me some crumbs."

"No way! Everyone would fight over it. I wouldn't want to cause a riot. I'm sure they'll have hot gruel for you. Well, maybe lukewarm."

"How about coming back so we can disappear into the lavatory together?"

"Have you seen how small those things are these days? And the filth? Besides, aren't you worn out after this week? I am!"

"Well, doesn't that just figure! Here you are, having just declared your undying love for me, and already you're tired of sex with me! That didn't take long!" He folded his arms over his chest and looked away, with a mock expression of disdain on his face. 

I nuzzled my face into his neck. "Check back with me in a few days. I might feel differently."

We waited until most of the passengers had boarded to get up and start down the jetway. Right before the cabin door, Sasha pulled me into a little alcove and kissed me. 

"Don't forget about me up there. I'll be thinking of you every minute." 

Once on board, I settled into my seat and looked out the window. I reflected on all that had happened to me in the short time since I arrived. 

How amazing! How many times did we have sex? How could it be that each time was so different and better than the last? How could I be so lucky to have found such a man, such a lover, such a love? "Thank you, God," I said to heavens. 

Once the plane was airborne and the seatbelt light was extinguished, I decided to make sure Sasha was all right. I made my way up the long aisle. He was wedged in a middle seat, sound asleep, his head resting on his balled-up jacket. I was glad to see he could rest and hoped he would stay that way for another few hours. I went back to my seat.

It was time to figure out what I was going to say to Dylan. How should I begin? Where and when should I talk to him? I realized that before I began the dreaded conversation, I should have a bag packed and be ready to go. I would be driving to California, which takes a minimum of two days. But what about talking to my boss? That would mean I would have to stay in Denver until Monday, obviously in a hotel on Sunday. Maybe I should call my boss at home. Yeah, that's a better idea. That way, I could head west immediately. But what should I bring? I thought about it. There were few material things in my house that I couldn't replace. I'll want some photos, some books, and my clothes. Oh, but I can't forget about "The Boy" in my office! I'll stop by and pick that up. That was something I couldn't leave behind. 

Now what should I say? "I thought I loved you, but I've met someone who showed me what true love is." No, that's not right. "Something happened that I didn't expect. I'm so sorry but I'm leaving." I figured that I would just have to endure the angry outburst, take my verbal punishment. Answer his questions truthfully. Make him see that I'm just not completely happy with him and once that true joy has been experienced, there's no going back. Try to soften the blow by explaining it's not him, it's me, that was the problem. He did his best. Yes, that's the approach.

I fell asleep without trying. I certainly felt exhausted, both mentally and physically. It had been one eventful week. 

I woke up as we began our descent into Honolulu to go through customs and refuel before continuing on to Los Angeles. It was dark and quiet all around me. I looked at my watch; only a few more hours until we reached our final destination. My new life would start soon after. 

I felt very impatient waiting in line to complete our customs inspection. Sasha didn't say much. He seemed lost in thought. We re-boarded and began the final leg of our trip.

I couldn't fall asleep again because of a nervous knot in the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes and did deep breathing, consciously willing the pain to subside. I didn't succeed. I considered staying in L.A. after all. I did not know how I could possibly handle the wedding and dealing with all the relatives the next day. The time spent with Dylan before I made my announcement would feel like torture. How would I ever act normally? Nevertheless, I knew it was essential that I go home one last time. I would never be free if I didn't. 

When the plane landed, I waited for Sasha make his way up to my seat. He sat down with me. We waited for the rest of the passengers to disembark.

"Are you OK?" he asked me. One look at his face told me that he was feeling the same way I was. 

"No, I'm a nervous wreck. I feel sick. And from the looks of it, so do you!"

"Of course I am! I am going to pace the floor until you come home safely to me." 

I looked at my watch. "Well, we'll have over an hour before my plane to Denver leaves. Let's go somewhere and have a drink. I really need one now."

I gathered my things and we stood up to leave. As I stepped into the aisle, I felt a lot of pain in my ankle. I stumbled and grasped Sasha's arm. "Oww - my ankle is really stiff. Can you help me?"

He took my laptop case as I leaned on his arm. He helped me down the aisle and out onto the jetway. We walked slowly down the metal corridor. As we neared the exit to the terminal, he bent his head to mine, giving me a tender kiss. 

"Welcome to your new city!" 

I smiled up at him. His smile suddenly dissolved. A look of total confusion and concern came over his face. 

"What's the matter?..." I said, turning to look at what he was observing.

It took a moment to register in my mind that it was Dylan, standing just a few yards away from us. The expression on his face defined fury. A sound like a growl came out of his mouth. "I... knew ...it."



Sasha Ch. 13



Paralysis. Inability to breathe. Inability to move. Inability to think. The world around me was spinning at an incredible pace. I did not know what to do. I closed my eyes.

I felt Sasha pulling on my arm. My eyes opened. Dylan was no longer standing in front of us. I heard words, a distorted voice. "Come on, we have to talk to him."

I allowed myself to be propelled forward. My brain began to function again as thoughts rushed in. What is he doing here? How did he find out? What can I say now?

We emerged into the terminal. Sasha pushed me to the right. I saw Dylan's back. Without thinking about it, I yelled, "Dylan, wait!" I was shocked to see him comply. He stood there without turning around, his shoulders drooped.

Every sensation seemed magnified as I made my legs move to walk towards him. I was acutely aware of my feet touching the ground, of the air in my face as I moved. I reached him in a few steps. I stood beside him but he didn't turn his head. I reached my fingers to touch his sleeve, but he abruptly pulled his arm away.

We were next to an empty gate area. Sasha motioned that we should go sit over there. I made my feet walk in that direction. Sasha and I walked to a corner that would give us a little privacy. I turned back, but Dylan was still standing in the same spot. I returned to him.

"Please, let's talk."

"Not with him here." He looked towards Sasha, his face twisting into a sneer.

"OK." I walked back to Sasha. "We're going to talk here. You need to leave us for a while." 

He grasped my elbow and bent his face down. "I'm not sure I should...are you going to be all right?"

"Sure. Might as well get this over with now. Come back in a little while. I'll wait for you here."

He looked uncertain, but he had no choice. He turned and left the area. 

I summoned the energy to make my feet move. Dylan had chosen a chair and extended his hand in a mock gesture of politeness. "Please make yourself comfortable. This is going to be a good story. I've been waiting all week to hear it." 

I sat down, my head bowed. "I am so sorry. This is not the time and place I had in mind to talk to you about... what's happened to me recently." The speech I rehearsed evaporated. I struggled to make my mind work and the words come out.

"Let's cut to the chase. You've been seeing - or should I say, fucking - our good friend and classmate, for how long now? At least one week in Japan, and on your last trip to L.A., am I right?" I didn't respond. "Any earlier than that?" 

I looked up. Oh my god, he knows everything! "No, I swear, no! How did you find out, may I ask?"

He sat back in his seat, a smug expression filling his face. "Oh sure, you can ask. I got an e-mail from Stan Kenzo." My stomach heaved. "Stan was thrilled that you got in touch with him during your trip, so he got to thinking that it had been a long time since he and I had communicated. He looked up my e-mail address in the alumni directory. And such a coincidence that you and Sasha were on the same flight! Unbelievable! Although, you know, that by itself was plausible. Didn't really arouse my suspicion, even when you didn't say anything to me in your e-mail about seeing Stan or running into Sasha. I'm sure you were too busy. I was looking forward to hearing all about it when you returned."

His voice dripped with sarcasm. I winced.

"So, then, I had to go to your office to pick up that document I needed for the loan. Your receptionist was very busy, so she told me to go to your office and look through your desk myself." 

I closed my eyes. I instantly knew what he found. 

"I wasn't prying, but in your top drawer I found a note in funny handwriting, which reminded me of that Russian kind of script. An odd note to find in a desk of a woman who's all business like you are. Signed with an 'S.' Who's 'S?' I thought." 

"Just for the hell of it, I used your computer to access our alumni directory. I was suddenly very curious about what had become of old Sasha since graduation. Well, wasn't it another amazing coincidence that Sasha now works at the Getty Museum, your favorite museum in the whole world! 

"You know, I always wondered about you two at school, too. Do you have any idea how he looked at you when you weren't watching?" 

"Oh, and another hint; that missing hotel night in L.A. You were pretty damn careless, I must say. Once I added up all these clues, I figured I should come to L.A. to meet your plane, so I could see for myself what you were up to."

I tried to grab a coherent thought as they sped around in my head. I never for a moment imagined this scenario, that Dylan would be confronting me about my infidelity instead of me informing him. I could not control this. I was at his mercy.

"So what do you have to say about this situation? Besides 'I'm sorry.' Don't give me any of that bullshit."

I took a deep breath. "You're right about everything, but it happened out of the clear blue. I didn't seek him out, it was an accident." He snorted his contempt. "I don't know how to explain this to you, but I've fallen in love with him. He feels the same way about me. We want to start a life together. I'm sorry. It's my fault, it has nothing to do with you. I'm certain now that I married you for all the wrong reasons."

His face contorted with anger and his hands rolled into fists, the knuckles white. "How could you do this to me?" he said, his voice rising. "When were you planning on telling me? Were you just going to make more and more business trips, then come home and play the bitch queen until you left again? When did you realize you'd made a mistake in marrying me? Certainly not when we bought our new house or new car. You didn't mind having me around for that!"

"No, that's not it. I never knew something was missing before. I do believe I loved you and I have no right to complain about anything you've done, or not done. You've been a great husband and I thank you for that. I just didn't know that something was missing until I saw Sasha again. It's nothing you could do anything about and it's something I can't deny now."

Dylan's face suddenly betrayed the hurt that must have been suppressed too long and that now demanded his attention. I watched agony replace the anger as tears welled up in his eyes. "I loved you so much, you know," he said with great bitterness in his voice. "You made my life complete, just like what I hear you saying about how you feel about him. I was so proud of you, proud that you were my wife. Your reflection on me was what gave me confidence. I tried so hard to give you everything. I thought you felt the same way. Can you imagine what it feels like for one minute to have all of that betrayed? Can you imagine seeing your wife kissing another man?"

I shook my head. I felt my own misery within. 

"I guess the difference between you and me is that I was serious when I made my marriage vows before God and everyone. Now I'm going back home, alone. Do not even think about returning. But don't worry, I'll take care of explaining this to the family, conveniently gathered for Emily's wedding. Yes, that's going to be fun. 'Where's your wife?' 'Oh, she's off fucking an old friend. Sends her regrets.' Thanks for the great timing."

Out of the corner of my eye, I glimpsed Sasha heading over to where we were sitting. "Well, I guess I need to get on my plane now," Dylan said loudly, turning to address Sasha. "Just wanted to personally welcome you back to the States! Nice to see an old classmate doing so well, Sash! Hey, did you ever realize that if she didn't think twice about cheating on me, that she'll most likely cheat on you, too? You might want to consider that. But I'm sure you already know what a slut she is."

I buried my face in my hands. I felt a tidal wave of misery and guilt engulf me. The roar in my ears was as loud as any nearby jet revving its engines could be.



Sasha Ch. 14



There was a sound. It was far away at first, but increasingly it invaded my perception. It annoyed me. I wanted it to go away. It prevented me from remaining in that black hole of non-awareness. Somewhere deep within me, I knew it was essential that I remain there undisturbed. I struggled not to listen, but the sound persisted. It dragged my consciousness up from the depths and slapped it repeatedly until my full attention was achieved. 

The pillow, that's it. Bury your ears, your head, your mind under it. Nothing can reach you there. You really didn't want to breathe anyway. Funny thing about reflexes, though, they insist that they rule the body. That oxygen habit is hard to break.

Once the oxygen is flowing, then other functions fall into place. As much as you try to stop it, the mind starts to swell with thoughts, with memories. I knew somehow I shouldn't let that process begin, yet there was nothing I could do to prevent it.

Images. Voices. Feelings. Despair. Yes, that's what I'm hiding from. But it knows where I'm hiding. How did it find me here? I've done something bad, something horrible, haven't I? I've fallen from a great height and I'm smashed against the rocks. I'm not alone though. I've taken someone down with me. I'm responsible.

Dylan and Sasha. They love me and they hate me. I've done them both wrong. I don't deserve them. I've hurt them or will disappoint them. I've taken everything they've offered and given nothing in return. How low is that?

Burning. Why do my eyes hurt so much? It must be the tears. They keep coming and coming and they don't stop. I thought water was supposed to extinguish fire, but it has the opposite affect on me. The water is burning me.

Don't! You don't have to feel it. Slip away again, down into the hole. That's it. Slide down. There's nothing down there, nothing at all. Stay there forever. It's better. Good....

There was a sound again, trying to get my attention. It was a familiar voice. The black hole wasn't as deep now, so the sound penetrated more quickly. There was a sensation, too, on my arm. I had to think about what was the procedure to make my eyes open. I couldn't remember how for a moment. 

"Please wake up, sweetheart! Are you OK? Please, you must wake up!" The voice was urgent, concerned. I knew I had to respond. With great effort, I made my eyelids move, although they didn't get too far.

"That's better. You're alive! I wasn't quite sure." I felt someone sitting on the bed next to me. Confusion flooded me now. Where am I? I feel... stiff. I can't make my limbs work.

"Can you wake up a little more, please? I need to talk to you." 

I winced. I realized that I was going to have to totally emerge from my dark hole and resume interaction with the world. I found the energy to roll over onto my back. I tried to lick my dry lips, but there was no moisture in my mouth. My eyes felt swollen and I couldn't make them focus very well. I wanted to speak, but no sound came out. I summoned more scant energy and made my voice audible.

"Where am I?" I was able to focus my eyes now and recognized Sasha's face close to mine. He looks relieved about something, I thought. He smiled.

"Good! You can even speak now. I've been worried about you. We're at my apartment." 

His apartment? How did we get here?  I wondered.

"What time is it?" I'm not sure why I asked that question because the answer didn't matter somehow. I guess it seemed the thing to say when someone wakes you up.

"It's after four on Saturday." 

Saturday. What does that mean? I was supposed to be somewhere on Saturday. 

"You've been sleeping for almost 24 hours." 

Did I miss something? Why is that important? I couldn't figure it out. "Why am I here?" I whispered, truly confused. 

Sasha's face showed his anxiety again. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. In an instant, my despair welled up, invading every fiber of my being. I remembered what happened when we stepped off the plane. I didn't cry, but I began to tremble. He pulled up the blanket and put it around me.

I stopped shaking in a few minutes. Sasha left the room and returned with a cup of green tea. I let him put it in my hand. I brought it to my lips and took a sip. A feeling of calm spread inside me, like the warmth of the tea dissipating in my throat. I drank some more.

"You were in rough shape last night. I wasn't sure what to do." 

"I have absolutely no recollection of how we got here." 

"That doesn't surprise me. It took me a long time to convince you to leave the airport and to come with me. You kept saying, 'Leave me alone,' which, of course, I couldn't do."

"I'm sorry, I don't remember."

"So we got a taxi back here. You couldn't stop crying. I put you to bed and you finally fell asleep. You thrashed around quite a bit during the night, finally calming down by daybreak. I've never seen anyone sleep that long."

I hung my head, ashamed that I had caused so much trouble. He sat down beside me. I felt his hand on the back of my head.

"I'm so sorry that you had to deal with Dylan like that. It wasn't the way you planned, but it's done now. You need to put it out of your mind." 

I nodded, more as a reflex than out of agreement with him. 

"If you think you'll be OK alone tonight, I have to go out. I've been invited to attend a big reception at the museum. My board member friend is eager to hear about my meetings in Japan. It's really important that I talk to him tonight. I hope you understand."

I nodded again. I want to be alone. That's fine. If Sasha stayed with me, he would certainly want to talk about what had occurred and what our plans would be. There was nothing I wanted to talk about less.

I stood up, shakily, and went to use the bathroom. When I walked out into the living room, I saw that Sasha had his keys in his hand and a folder of papers under his arm. "Are you sure you'll be OK?" 

"Sure."

"There's a little food in the fridge, or check the freezer too. I'm really sorry that I have to go. Call me on my cell phone if you need anything." He opened the door and was gone.

I looked around the apartment. It was small, kind of cluttered. Pretty much the definition of a bachelor pad. There were nice reproductions from the museum on his walls, though. I went to the window. It looked like we were on the third floor of a low-rise building. Typical California suburbia. 

I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Mostly bare; some bread, cold cuts, beer. The cupboards didn't contain anything that piqued my appetite. 

I returned to the living room and sat on the sofa in front of the television. I picked up the remote and pressed the on button. The picture and sound appeared. I pressed the button to change channels, staring blankly at the screen. I lay my head back on the cushion.

I thought about what I should have been doing at that moment. I should be at Emily's reception. I wonder what Dylan told them. I wonder what they're saying about me. They must all hate me so much. Even in my absence, I've upstaged the bride.

I let a thought blossom in my mind that I should have repressed. What am I going to do now? I inhaled sharply at the physical pain that thought caused me. No! Don't go there now! You know what the answer is! You can't deal with it tonight! I pounded my fist on the arm of the sofa. No!

I wandered around the apartment, trying to distract myself by examining Sasha's possessions. I looked at his magazines, at the clutter on his desk, envelopes carelessly tossed on his dining room table. I noticed a framed collage of photographs on his wall; it was from our school days together. I recognized many friends' faces. My eyes landed on one photo of a large group on a camping trip; I was surprised to see myself in the picture - with Dylan standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders. I returned to the sofa; I didn't want to look around anymore.

The evening passed slowly. I consciously avoided my dark thoughts and overwhelming uncertainty, but I wasn't able to focus on anything else either. I turned off the lights and went back to bed. Maybe I can slip into that dark hole again. I lay there with my eyes open.

Eventually I heard keys in the front door, saw the light as it opened. Sasha came into the dark bedroom. He stood above me, silently looking at me for a moment. "Hey, how are you?" he whispered. 

"I don't know." 

He sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on me. "What did you do tonight?"

"Not much."

"Are you feeling OK?" 

I didn't answer. He didn't ask again.

He got undressed and came into bed with me. He lay close, but didn't try to embrace me. I was relieved. It occurred to me at last why I felt so ambiguous towards him. I didn't want his pity. I didn't deserve it. 

Long after Sasha's breathing told me he was asleep, I lay in the same position; eyes open, looking at the street light outside the bedroom window. The thoughts I had been avoiding kept trying to sneak into my head; I had become too tired to fight them off now. The strongest one, the one I dreaded dealing with the most, finally pushed its way up front. I couldn't ignore it any longer. I've got to get out of here. Sasha doesn't need such a pathetic burden like me hanging around. 

I slipped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I sat on the sofa, awake, until dawn. By the time Sasha emerged from his room, I knew what I was going to do.

"There you are! Did you get up early? You weren't up all night, I hope. "

"No rest for the wicked, they say." My voice was flat.

"I'll make some tea."

I heard him put water in the kettle and turn on the stove. He came over to the sofa and squatted in front of me so he could look directly into my eyes.

"I am very worried about you. You seem to have taken this much worse than I thought you would."

I looked at him incredulously. "So exactly how should I take this?" I said, with an unmistakable note of anger. I looked away, out the window.

He put his hand on my knee and spoke in a soft voice. "I thought you might be glad, or relieved, that he knows now. The worst is over, isn't it? It might have been harder if you had gone home, right?"

I continued to look out the window. "I don't see how it could have gotten any worse. Forgive me if I don't know the proper etiquette when your husband catches you in the act of adultery." 

"Yes, that was quite a shock to see him standing there. But you handled it as well as you could. Can't you take any comfort from the fact that you're free from him now? We can pursue our plans. You're free to be with me."

I hung my head. I realized he had no idea what the consequences were of my confrontation with Dylan. "I'm not so sure I'm free. I'll never be free of the guilt of what I've done. I've broken a sacred vow. I've destroyed someone's life. Just because I wanted to have a little fun."

He sat down beside me and put his arms around me. I didn't respond. "Why do you want to beat yourself up so much? Please, you must try to see the advantages of the situation."

The kettle began whistling and Sasha rose to get it. In a few minutes, he returned with the tea. 

"I hate to have to tell you this, but I've got to go into the office today, very soon as a matter of fact. We've got a very big deal in the works, and they're going to let me head up the negotiations! I won't be long, though. I'll be back after lunch. We'll go out, if you want. I think you need to go for a ride - maybe up to that state park again?" He smiled, but I just looked at him blankly. 

You have no idea, do you, I thought. Well, it would make what I have to do easier. I can't let on...

"OK, that sounds good." I forced a weak smile. "I need to make some phone calls anyway. You just go. I'll see you later."

"Thank you for understanding. I feel bad about leaving you alone again, but I'll make it up to you, I promise. Please try to cheer up; it scares me to see you this way." He stood up and went into his room. 

After he left about a half-hour later, I discovered a reserve of energy. I showered, dressed, and gathered whatever belongings were not in my suitcase. I turned on Sasha's computer and opened a blank document. I stared at the screen for a minute before composing a letter to Dylan. I tried to convey my shame for what I had done to him and offered profuse apologies. I felt little relief when I had finished.

I then worked on a second letter. I printed it and read it over.

Dear Sasha,

I am so sorry. I can't stay with you. I am such a coward for just leaving a letter, but after what you witnessed yesterday, I hope you'll understand.

I've discovered what kind of person I really am and I don't like it. I am not the kind of person you need in your life. You are much too generous and I don't deserve your kindness, nor do I want your pity. 

I need time to sort out my life right now. It's hard to believe how quickly a life can change, or how quickly you can change someone else's life. I have a lot of thinking to do. I have to find some way to make amends.

There was no time that I enjoyed more than our week in Japan. I will keep that with me for the rest of my life. 

I do this out of love for you. You deserve so much more than I can give. Try to understand.

Love, H

I kissed the letter and placed it on the table. I took my suitcase and left for the airport.



Sasha Ch. 15



When I saw the car's headlights pull up to the reception area, I thought it was odd that someone might be arriving so late, in such bad weather. It had been snowing heavily and the Japanese aren't fond of traveling in the snow, nor did the inn get many guests in the winter. I heard muffled voices outside the door, but couldn't make out what they were saying. Oh well, I'm sure Murada-san will tell me all about it in the morning.

I had been at the inn for a few days. A few months earlier, I came here on business and found great comfort in my friendship with Murada-san and inspiration from the mountain. It surprised me that I could return here, but I guess the positive forces outweighed my bittersweet memories. I never did, however, climb the stairs to the top floor to return to the room where we first stayed. 

I sat at a table with a dim light in the front room, practicing my Japanese script. I had an old schoolbook in front of me and I was diligently copying the complicated characters one by one. It was essential that I learn to write, something I'd been avoiding. I had to learn them so I could continue living in Japan.

I'd been working for a travel agency, under the table at low wages; it was the best way for me to earn money. I used my fluency in English and Japanese to increase the American tourist trade for the owner. I had also referred quite a few Americans to Murada-san's inn, which is how I came to contact her again. 

Stan and Michiko had helped me get the job, as well as a place to live after I'd stayed with them. Stan felt very bad about inadvertently alerting Dylan to my infidelity, although I assured him it was not his fault. Michiko and I became very close; I don't know how I would have survived without her. I had been sick quite a bit once the weather turned colder. I couldn't shake the flu and she did everything she could to help me. I still was coughing, and Murada-san said I was too thin.

I pulled my kimono around me tighter and grasped my cup of tea. The fire in the fireplace was dying, its heat diminishing. I gazed out the window at the snow, but I found it hard to take pleasure in its beauty. I made a point of not letting anything touch me deeply. That's how I got in trouble before.

I practiced a few more characters, but the cold made my fingers were stiff. I closed my book and turned off the light. A knock came at the door. "Come in," I said. Murada-san opened the door slightly and slipped inside. "I was just going to bed. Oh, who was that arriving so late, in such bad weather? Do you have new guests?" I asked.

"We have grown to be good friends, haven't we?" 

I was puzzled by her response. "Well, yes we have. You have shown great kindness to me and I am grateful."

"Therefore, if I have done something in secret, with the intention of helping you, you will not be angry?"

"Murada-san, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Your husband was the one who just arrived."

I couldn't grasp the full meaning of what she had just told me. My husband? Dylan?

The door opened. A figure entered, but I couldn't see the face. It wasn't Dylan though, I knew from the stature. Murada-san stood up to leave, patting him on the arm as she left the room. The figure came over to my chair. The dying embers cast a dim glow upon Sasha's face. I gasped aloud. 

He took my hand. I looked away. My brain went numb.

"I've come to bring you home, sweetheart."

"Oh.... No. How can this...?" 

He turned on the light, pulled up a chair and sat in front of me. I was immediately struck by his handsome face, but he seemed different somehow. His skin seemed so pale. His hair was longer. He looked older.

"I've been waiting for you, you know. Your penance is over now, you've paid for your crime."

"How did you track me down here?"

"Murada-san is very wise. She also cares about you very much, and I guess about me. She contacted me. She knew it was time for me to come for you. I also bring news that you should know about. Dylan isn't suffering alone anymore. He apparently is getting on quite well without you. He has moved in with a woman."

I shut my eyes, trying to grasp the significance of what I just heard. Dylan somehow has recovered from the wounds I inflicted. It was not a lethal blow!

"Oh my God. I don't know what to say. You came all this way to tell me that?"

"Well, I don't know if you got my letters. You wouldn't talk to me on the phone at Stan's. There was no other way to reach you."

"Sasha, I'm so sorry." I put my face in my hands. Without warning, my tears began to flow, the months of suppressed emotion erupting. I shook with silent sobs. I felt his hand on my back, then his strong arms pulling me close. I couldn't believe how much I missed that feeling.

It took me quite a while to compose myself. I finally lifted my swollen face and looked him in eyes. "There you go now. Here's a tissue. Let's go somewhere warmer and talk."

"Over there - throw another log on the fire. My room is pretty small and cold."

"But my room is warm - and has a wonderful view."

"Are... Did you..?"

"I couldn't imagine staying anywhere else."

I hung my head. "I'm not sure I'm ready."

"I understand. My only goal is to talk to you." 

He stood up and put some wood into the small fireplace. It soon burst into flames giving more light and heat to the room. We moved to the mat in front of the fire and sat facing each other.

"Are you feeling all right? I've heard you've been sick."

"Yes, it's been rough. Bad weather, crowded subway." 

I told him about my job, some of the small details of living here in this country. He told me about his work and how he has taken on some considerable projects for the museum. "I am so grateful for the work. Being busy meant I only had to get through the nights filled with worry about you...."

Another great swell of regret surged in me. He must have noticed it on my face and reached out for my hand. "But I'm here with you now, and I want to take you back with me. You shouldn't live in this climate. It obviously doesn't agree with you."

"Sasha, I don't know what to say. This is so sudden. I'm not sure all the reasons I left aren't still valid."

"You left to punish yourself. You left because I reminded you of your failure. I was the reason you had to hurt Dylan, regardless of how good that reason was. I understand why you left, but I think it's time to accept the fact that your sentence is over. I haven't stopped thinking about you, about us. We had some incredible plans, plans that we made right here. It's time to start acting on them."

I was truly in shock. I had trained my mind not to think about him. I had been able to start a new life and I learned things about myself I hadn't expected to. The void in my heart had been healing, or at least it wasn't as painful. I stayed quite busy with the day-to-day demands of living in a foreign country, which helped to distract me. Yet, to see him there, sitting in front of me, I could feel all the old feelings beginning to surface. I just couldn't bring myself to acknowledge or accept them - not yet.

"I need a little time to digest this news. Can we talk more in the morning? You must be exhausted anyway."

"Yeah, it's been a long trip, but being here with you makes it worthwhile. And I'm not going to lose you again; you know that, don't you?" He took my hand and gently pulled me close. His lips touched mine, pulled back. I still didn't dare bring myself to respond.

He stood up. "Now, please don't run off anywhere before I get up!" he said with a smile. "I'll see you in the morning." He turned and left the room.

I remained in front of the fire, trying to comprehend the new twist in my life. Once again in this place in the Japanese countryside, I felt the lifting of an enormous weight from my soul, but there was also a deeper well of regret. For the first time, I realized that in my attempt to atone for my sins, I had caused greater pain to the innocent. Perhaps my flaws weren't insurmountable. There was someone who will accept me. Someone to love me despite the unbelievably stupid things I've done. How could I have been such a fool?

An incredible hunger rose within me. I could not live another minute unless he held me in his arms and touched me the way he used to. I quickly left the room and went up the stairs.

I quietly opened the door to the room on the top floor. I saw Sasha in the bed; he rolled over and held the quilt up to invite me to join him. 

When we made contact, I felt a miracle occur; I felt a healing power start to erase all my doubts and pains. 

"Please forgive me." 

He held his finger to my lips, then stroked my hair. 

"Everything is all right now. You're with me." 

We began to make love in an almost hesitant manner, as if it were our first time. We needed to get reacquainted with each other's bodies. He slowly ran his fingers over my face and down to my arms. He kissed me with sweet little pecks, finally bringing his mouth to mine, letting our tongues tentatively entwine. His hands moved further down over my kimono. He found the sash and pulled it until it fell away. His fingers moved very slowly underneath, running over my skin. I pressed my fingers to his chest, remembering how wonderful his muscular torso felt, how his nipples stood at attention when I lightly rubbed them. He lifted himself off me and opened my kimono. He hesitated for moment, then ever so lightly began to stroke the soft skin at the top of my breasts with the fingertips of one hand. I arched my back, wanting to feel the sensation more. He continued to stroke downwards, finally reaching a nipple. As he caressed it and it hardened, he brought his lips down, running his tongue over it and sucking gently. I inhaled and squirmed at the acute sensation running through me. Why did I think I needed to give this up?

I yearned to touch him, to relive the pleasure of feeling his skin, bone and muscle under my own hands. I let my fingers glide wherever they could reach; his back, arms, torso. I grew bolder and pushed him onto his back where I could freely kiss and touch him all over. My fingers and hands seemed to have their own need to cover as much of his body as they could. I used my tongue on his chest while one hand played with his hair. The other hand traveled of its own accord to the protrusion under the quilt. He was wearing shorts, and it was time to remove them. 

I knelt by his side. He rose to his knees to join me. He reached up and slipped the kimono from my shoulders, slowly, so I was aware of the soft fabric as it brushed my skin as it fell. He then reached over to my hips and pulled my panties down. We knelt in front of one another, motionless for a moment, drinking in the sensual feelings emanating from our bodies. 

I tugged on his shorts and slipped them off his legs. I ran my fingers down his torso until they reached his tangle of rough hair. Ever so lightly, I began to stroke his erection. The smoothness of the skin over the hard steel underneath is an amazing phenomenon. I had to put my lips on it, to kiss it, to taste it. He lay back, eyes closed as I pursued my worship of rock hard shaft, trembling and shaking under my caresses. 

In a moment, he lifted my head and pushed me back on the bed. His fingers reached the center of my sensual universe. My hips rose and I gasped as I felt the firmness of his touch on my slippery flesh. He relentlessly probed and manipulated my tender spot. Yes, now!

I parted my legs as he moved over me. He entered me, but didn't move immediately. I savored the feeling of being a receptacle, of being an instrument in this quest for the perfect union. I began to move; I couldn't help myself. He found his counter rhythm. We lifted and retreated together, slaves to the pulses reigning in our bodies. As we moved faster and faster, I sought his mouth with mine, so as to completely fuse our bodies together. The sensation devoured me. The rush of ecstasy relentlessly inundated me. Sasha groaned and shuddered before falling heavily upon me. 

I felt his lips upon my cheek. I heard him whisper, "I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again." My tears began to flow, but he kissed them away. The realization burst in my mind as strongly as the orgasm that had just shook my body. There was no need to be alone any longer.

* * THE END * *

6 May 2001