7 comments/ 5564 views/ 3 favorites On Changing Ground Pt. 01 By: TheSexyGeek Author's note: This story is part rewrite, part new story, of my old series, Sex and the Supercenter. It will go to new and exciting places, so I hope you'll join me for the journey! ***** The cool morning breeze was refreshing as it washed over me, coaxing me from my slumber. Or perhaps it was the soft nibbling on my ear that roused me. Regardless of the culprit, my bedroom slowly came into focus. The dull whirl of the ceiling fan. The pale white of the ceiling. The sound of a world beginning to stir just beyond the open window. I was greeted with the welcoming scent of Tina's hair, a blend of lilac and berries that brought to mind rolling meadows and endless spring days. I found her long, jet black locks resting comfortably on my bare chest. They shifted slightly as she realized I was awake. The nibbling stopped, and she looked at me with luminous green eyes. "Did I wake you?" "I don't think so," I mumbled against a parched throat. "I was going to let you sleep in a little longer," Tina said, her full lips turned up in a smile that suggested amusement. "I think you earned it." "So did you," I said, as my mind began to replay the events of the previous night. Sights, sounds, and sensations tumbled into view all at once. Tina's lips on mine. Her naked flesh pressed against me. Sweat glistening between us. The ecstasy of her moans and sighs. The thoughts grew demanding, and I turned to face her. I pulled her close to me, pressed my lips against hers. My heart raced as I felt her naked breasts press against me. I would have been content to take her right then, but she broke apart our frantic kisses after only a few moments. "More already?" she asked playfully. "Save some for later." "Believe me," I said, kissing her again. "I have more than enough for now and later." "Behave," Tina said, gently pulling away from me. I watched her glorious form slide from the bed and then vanish underneath one of my t-shirts. "I'll get breakfast started." My shirt wasn't quite long enough to cover Tina's body, and I silently admired the flexing of her thighs and the sway of her ass, which was just visible beneath the shirt. That she could have retained this perfect form since her days as a cheerleading captain in high school were beyond me. I certainly had met with limited success keeping myself in shape. However she did it, she looked every bit as stunning as she had the day we met. I threw off the covers, grabbed a pair of boxer shorts, and headed for the shower. I passed by the clock on my way out, and was amazed to see that I was thirty minutes ahead of schedule. For once. Wow, I thought. Today's going to be great. ********** The smell of bacon and eggs drew me from the bedroom before I had even finished pulling up my tie. Tina danced gracefully around the table, setting the finishing touches in place: a tall glass of O.J. for her, a steaming cup of coffee for me. She reached across the table and my shirt rose u"Looks delicious," I said. She turned and smiled. "It better," she said. "I've been slaving over the stove for a whole fifteen minutes." I gathered her to me. "I wasn't talking about the food," I said, leaning in for a kiss. I should have known better. "So you're saying my cooking doesn't look delicious?" she asked with a coy smile. "Sure it does. But I'd rather have you." Tina gently broke out of my grip. "I'm not on the menu." She sat down and shot me a flirty smile. "Yet." And so we passed breakfast with a bit of small talk, peppered with playful banter and innuendo that was slowly working me into a small frenzy. The hint of desire in her eyes drove me mad. The subtle smile that tugged at her full lips suggested silent, perpetual amusement, as if anything that passed before her existed solely for her own entertainment. "Let's take a vacation," I said suddenly. For a brief second, Tina's amusement vanished. She recovered gracefully with a smile that made me forget it had been gone at all. "Where?" she asked. "Anywhere you want. Let's do it." Tina's ethereal green orbs drilled into me. I could feel her scrutiny from across the table. "I know I've been putting in some late nights," I said. "Just 'some' late nights? Last night was the most time we've spent together in two months." "I know. I'm sorry. We're almost through this project. Once it's done, I'll put in for two weeks off and we'll go anywhere you want." Tina slowly rose, deep thought. She began collecting dishes, then stopped. "I don't want to go anywhere," she said. "I just want to be with you." Her simple words sent a pang of guilt through me. As the euphoria of the previous night began to wane, I felt the uncomfortable reality of our situation begin to settle back in. I refused to let it - this had been a great morning, and I wasn't going to let it get ruined. I rose quickly and took her in my arms. "And I want to be with you," I said. "How about the Caribbean? You've always wanted to go there." A brief spark passed behind her eyes. "A cruise," she said. "On the most luxurious ship you can find." "Why so luxurious?" I asked. Tina grinned sensually at me as her lips rose to mine. "We'll need all the amenities we can get, because I don't intend on letting you ever leave the cabin." Our lips merged again as she pressed into me. I felt her hands clench my hair. I lifted her onto the table and her legs wrapped around me. I found the bottom of her shirt and was about to pull when she staid my hands. "Save it for later," she said breathlessly. "And see if you can't come home early tonight. It's Friday, they'll understand. Tell them your gorgeous wife is waiting at home for you with a bottle of wine and wearing only a smile." I didn't want to let her go, but I respected her wishes and stepped away. "I can't tell them that. They may want to come over here." "Let 'em," Tina said with a wink. "We'll put on a show." I leaned in and kissed her again. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you too. Now get out of here so you can get back here." ********** Pittsburgh isn't exactly a big city, but its gridlock could rival LA and New York any day. Except, apparently, today. I was still running about 20 minutes ahead of my normal routine - a routine I normally ran late for, thanks to all the late hours I'd been putting in on this project. All told, I was on the parkway a full 40 minutes before I should have been, and a full 20 minutes earlier than normal. I was amazed to see how clear the road was leading into the tunnels. It was a peaceful drive that only pushed my good mood into the stratosphere. Adding to my streak of luck was the lack of cars in the parking garage across from the Corporate Business Center where I worked. I got a decent space on the first floor, and was in the elevator heading up to my office in less than five minutes. The welcoming aroma of fresh coffee greeted me the moment the elevator doors opened. I quickly dropped my bag in my office and headed over to the break room. Sure enough, a fresh pot of coffee was brewing - and judging from the discarded wrapper in the trash, it was a name brand for once. I smiled to myself as I filled my cup. I can't believe this, I thought. Maybe today's project meeting will go smoothly, too. As I reached for the creamer, I felt a presence in the room with me. The scent of vanilla was a dead giveaway; I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. "I should have known you were here already," I said. "No one else brings in the good coffee." Becky's smile was wide and pleasant. "It's been a rough week," she said. "I wanted to help you start your weekend off right." "Then here's to you, Miss Rebecca," I said, raising my steaming hot mug. I made no excuses: Becky had become closer to me than my own right arm. I had pushed management to budget for an assistant project manager to help oversee the day-to-day and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have forced upon them. The money they saved in efficiency was worth far more than the raise they gave Becky - and they gave her a not insubstantial amount. She had risen to every challenge. She thought outside the box, and wasn't afraid to challenge my decisions if she had a better idea. We had more than a few fiery arguments over certain complications. And such complications! The project scale was enormous: a domain migration of well over 10,000 users nationwide, spread out across six different domains themselves. The implementation would be costly but the long-term support and maintenance benefits were well worth the effort. Yet it made things very intense for those of us organizing, planning, and implementing the new technology. As I admired the leggy brunette-turned-dirty blond stir her in her sweetener, I became more acutely aware that this project had a profound effect on my relationship with her. One cannot work that closely with another person for an extended period of time without there being a shift in the dynamic between the two. The ironic thing is that, before beginning the project, both of us had to attend a web seminar that addressed that selfsame issue. We had mocked it at the time, laughed about how there's no way this kind of thing would change things between us. Yet somewhere between the dozens of late nights, ordering pizza and beer long after the rest of the company had left, and the rushed lunches eaten just before the cafe even opened, things had changed. I caught myself stealing sideways glances at her more frequently. I would sometimes stare absently at her, and got caught more than once. Even when I wasn't at work, sometimes my mind would drift towards her and I would get excited about seeing her again. I wasn't developing feelings for her, per se. I think it was simply that we had become so close, spent so much time together, that when we were absent from one another, it began to feel unnatural. Obviously it was common, if they managed to milk a twenty-five minute web seminar out of it. But it was completely innocent, at least to me. I harbored no romantic feelings towards her. I just found her to be a smart, sassy, extremely attractive and highly capable coworker, whose wardrobe sometimes pushed the limits of "business casual." Today, for example, she wore a snug black skirt that clung to her curvy hips and a pink top that was snug enough - and low cut enough - to offer some interesting perspectives on the luscious curves contained within. The black boots were a nice touch as well. They put her at nearly my eye level, and ran halfway up her thigh. Not that her legs needed any help looking even more amazing. Once this migration was finished, when my inevitable promotion came along, I intended to push for Becky to replace me. I knew she could do it - she had proven herself time and again. I tore my eyes away from her a second too late. Yet if seeing me ogle her bothered her in the least, she didn't show it. She took a long drink from her mug and licked her lips - a little slowly, in my opinion. I didn't mind. "So what time's the meeting?" she asked. "It's supposed to be at three, but I'm going to see if we can't get it bumped to noon and get out of here early." "You mean leave while it's daylight? People still do that?" I chuckled. "Once in awhile, or so I'm told. If you really want, we could spend Friday running test migrations. Order in a pizza and a six pack." "Would that be so awful?" Becky asked. "The company - not at all. The work - yeah. Yeah, it'd be pretty miserable." A smile lit up Becky's lips, creasing the dimples in her cheeks. She looked ready to comment further, but she was halted by the intrusion of a lanky fellow with a goatee far too thick for his narrow face. It was Dom, one of the senior A.D. techs involved with the project. I was about to greet him, but the concern in his eyes made me think otherwise. "Jane's on the phone," he said simply. "She doesn't sound happy." ********** "Nick Kennedy," I said boldly into my receiver. "It's Jane," said the voice on the other end. Jane Hannah was our general manager, the only person in the I.T. infrastructure I directly reported to, aside from the C.I.O. She was also a chain smoker, a fact easily discerned by her unnaturally gruff voice. "Morning, boss," I said casually. "Nick, we have an emergency meeting. Can you get your team together in the next ten minutes?" "Sure," I said. "What's going on?" "I don't know," Jane said pensively. "I'll find out when I hang up with you." "Ah," I said. "So this is from the brass, then." "The tip of the top," she replied. "I can't imagine what they want, but - well, I'll see you in the war room. Fifteen minutes." "We'll be there," I said. Even as I hung up the phone, I didn't let the concern in Jane's voice bother me. Why should I? Today had been great and it had barely begun. I walked to my window and looked out over the city. Looking down on an entire city from thirty-seven stories in the air imparts much perspective. I had fought hard, climbed the mountain, so to speak, and I quite enjoyed my view from the top. Were someone to ask me the secret of my success, I would have told them, quite seriously, that the view is amazing, and worth hanging on to. Something about being up so high helped me remain calm. Centered. And so, just as I had risen above to attain my current position (and reputation), just as I had literally risen above the entire city, I intended to rise above whatever new curve ball the brass was likely to throw at us. I relished the thought of a new challenge. Would they cut the budget? Scale back the time-frame? It didn't matter. I was ready. I could take on the world. I strode out of my office and down the hall. It was time to gather the troops. ********** I threw open the large doors to the war room. It was a curious nick name outside of its military applications. Oh, the basic analogy made sense - it was a command center of sorts, a large hub for monitoring the migration progress, with facilities for meeting and planning. Yet the term "war room" always felt overly dramatic. Had we become so listless as a society that we had to dramatize the mundaity of office life by borrowing terms better left to the armed services? I thought back to something Tina had told me once. She had been attempting to express her discontent for my work schedule in her typical roundabout fashion. She never addressed the problem directly. No, that would be far too simple. Instead, she threw out hints of what was going on in her mind and expected me to decipher them. On one particular night, she told me, "People have so much to do in their lives that they forget to live them." I pushed the thought far away from me. The war analogy may have been silly, but I had been living and breathing corporate life since college. It was as intrinsic to my identity as my need to eat, drink, and have sex. That would never change. I moved to take my seat at the right had of Jane's vacant chair, only to find a familiar pair of black boots covering legs otherwise bare up to the mid-thigh, resting on them. My eyes followed the succulent curves up to the tantalizing shroud of darkness between them. Becky pressed her thighs together, as though she were fully aware of the stirring she caused in my loins. She slowly lowered each leg. "About time," she said. "What's going on?" "No clue," I said, trying - poorly - to act like she hadn't seen me staring. "Jane said to get everyone together. She hadn't even been told what this was about yet." A look of concern stole Becky's beautiful smile. "That can't be good." "Don't sweat it," I offered. "They're probably going to throw us a party for those latest budget worksheets." "Screw the party, just send us home early, with pay." "I'd be all for that," I said, letting my mind wander to the previous night. "I haven't had a weekday home with Tina for months." Wait, what was that? Had I just seen a flash of irritation in Becky's gorgeous eyes? No. I was probably seeing things. Probably still worked up from the leg show. "How is the Mrs. anyway?" she asked, with all the interest of a child unwrapping plaid socks on Christmas morning. "A little upset that I'm spending so much time here," I said. "Now see, that's why I'm staying single. No rules, no attachments, no guilt trips." "Maybe. But there are certain benefits," I said. "Those are benefits I can find without the chains," she said. Looking at her, I didn't doubt it for a second. The large clear doors swung open again, and Jane entered. Normally, a confident stride would have carried her to the head of the table. Her pace today was much slower. Her sunken eyes seemed almost ghostly against her pale face. She took her seat and said nothing. She folded her hands, then rubbed her eyes and sighed. The room was uncomfortably silent. No one had ever seen her like this. "First, let me say how incredibly proud I am of all of you," she began slowly. "You've done an incredible job on this project. Nick, I don't know how you've managed to get this far so quickly, and so far under budget." "It's these guys," I said, giving my team of eight a nod. "A manager's only as good as his team." "True, and we've got one of the best teams in the city." She breathed deep, and her voice began to crack. "Which is why what I have to say next is so difficult. Ten minutes ago, I got a call from corporate as to the purpose of this meeting. I want you to know that I fought them on this. I even had to fight with them to be the one to tell you. I owe you that much." Apprehension crept in as I watched the woman who had been my mentor for four years start to lose it. This was not the unflappable Jane Miller that had taken a timid, awkward, geek and sculpted him into a confident leader. "Apparently, we've done such a great job of organizing and testing the specs on this project, that corporate feels it can find another team of engineers to make it happen for them. Effective immediately, all of you are being laid off." The silence was thick - like the moment just before a bomb explodes. When this explosion came, it came from every corner of the room at once. A dozen voices, furious, confused, scared. To her credit, Jane bore their complaints with all the dignity I had come to expect. After all, it wasn't her fault. This was a corporate directive. "This has to be a fucking joke," Becky said sharply. "Even if they found a decent team - which they won't, if they don't want to spend a lot of money - they could never have the project wrapped up in time. They don't know the specs, they don't know our hardware or network protocols. This is just... this is stupid. This is fucking stupid!" "I know it is," Jane said. "I tried to talk them out of it, but they came to this decision on their own. They didn't even ask for my input. I got a very strong feeling from the discussion that I'm the next one in line." Jane fielded questions from a number of team members regarding severance pay, benefits coverage, and a few other topics I didn't really hear. My blood was boiling. I could not see. I could not breath. I had given this place everything for the better part of the past decade. I had worked my way from the trenches of the help desk and desk side support. No one knew this company's systems better than me. And now they were going to just toss me aside because I did my job so well, they could find someone to execute my plans cheaper? After a few more questions, Jane took control of the room again. "I was instructed to have security escort you out immediately. However, I realize many of you have things at your desks and I'm not about to make you wait a week to come back and retrieve them. Security will meet you in the elevator vestibule in ten minutes. You have that long to..." Her voice trailed off for a moment. "To do whatever you need to do." On Changing Ground Pt. 01 I stood by the door and bade my team a bittersweet farewell. They looked lost. I understood exactly how they felt. Finally it was down to myself and Jane. She regarded me with a sad smile. "You'll be fine, you know," she said. "I know. I had a great teacher." "The teacher's only as good as the student." Same old Jane. She still couldn't take a compliment. "I fought for you," she said, looking away from me. "I fought for all of them. But especially for you. You deserve better than this." Her voice trailed off, and the first cracks in her confident veneer began to show. My head spun. I had never seen her so shaken. So broken. After all these years, I guess she was human after all. "It's ok," I said. "I just hope they don't do this to you." "They will," she said. "As soon as the new team is trained, they will." I approached her, mustering what little energy I could into a formidable display of confidence. I extended my hand. "In that case... may we never be in competition for the same job. I wouldn't stand a chance." Jane blinked away the traces of tears that were forming and straightened her back again. She answered my handshake with a firm grip of her own. "Damn right you wouldn't," she said. Our firm handshake gave way to a friendly embrace. She clapped my back. "Take care," she said. "You too, boss. You too." ********** I remember almost nothing about how I came to be back in my office. I have vague memories of a dazed stroll down suffocating hallways. I sat down in my chair, my mind racing to form a plan. Jane had given us a small window of opportunity. I checked to see if my network account was still valid. It was. Jane had pulled some serious strings. I logged in and quickly deleted every bit of data I had stored locally and on my network drives - including recent testing metrics that were not stored anywhere else. If Jane was right about being laid off after the training was complete, I intended to give her as much time as I could so she could find more work. The absence of these files would set the project back at least two months. I wish I could say I felt better after the vengeful housecleaning, but I didn't. I felt worse. I wanted to crawl into the sewer drains in front of the parking garage and fade away into nothing. Even the comforting leather interior of my Xj220 offered me no comfort. I placed the box full of my belongings on the passenger seat, then slid behind the wheel. I couldn't find the wherewithal to turn the key. I simply held it and was content to do so. Hoping I would at least be afforded the dignity of a pleasant drive home, I grew even more frustrated with the appearance of an unscheduled construction area. As I sat, trapped, unable to move, my mind raced. I had no job. No job. For the first time since I was old enough to work, I would not have an income. The company was "gracious" enough to pay our salary for the rest of the month in one big lump sum, but once that was gone I was in trouble. The market wasn't good right now. Finding new work for which I was qualified would be a challenge. The thought of applying for unemployment compensation made me sick to my stomach. But if I didn't - well, odds were that the vacation I had been so excited about would never happen. Tina would be crestfallen. The dark clouds that had been threatening to open up finally did so, dumping untold gallons of water down in a matter of seconds. I quickly pulled the sun roof closed and wondered if perhaps this were someone's idea of a joke. I hadn't seen this many cliche's at once since the last time I tried watching something on television, which had been months ago. I had no need for moronic "reality" shows or hospital dramas or whatever the latest fad was. My viewing was limited to the various news channels, most often just to check on my stock prices. I tried calling Tina as soon as I got on the parkway, but she didn't answer. I tried again, twice. Still no answer. I grew concerned. At the rate this day had gone downhill, I fully expected the worst when I got home. My mind started wandering. Tina left the door unlocked all the time. Could someone have broken in and...? No. There was no use thinking that way. I fought to regain control of my thought process. Tina was home, she was probably just in the shower. ********** I rounded the corner to our apartment and found another car sitting in my reserved space. Swearing under my breath, I drove around the corner to the guest parking. I left my box in the car so it didn't get wet and ran through the torrential downpour to our private entrance. The door was locked, which is very unusual. Tina never left doors unlocked, for any reason. More than once I had to get out of bed to lock the door because she forgot. I quickly pushed the key in and turned. Not two steps into my apartment, I tripped over a pair of shoes. I didn't even need to see them to know they weren't Tina's. They were far too large for her dainty feet, and not quite large enough for mine. Even as the reality settled in - even as I began to hear the faint groans emanating from the closed bedroom - I refused to accept it. I ignored the shoes. They did not fit in with my view of the world - or at least, my view of my wife - and therefore they could not logically exist. They were useless data bits that had no place in my mind. I walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. I removed a bottle of Killian's, twisted off the cap, and drank deeply. With every gulp and swallow, I heard the sounds of my wife almost screaming in ecstasy. But that didn't make sense. She was my wife, and I was in the kitchen. Therefore, she couldn't possibly be screaming in ecstasy. I must have been subconsciously remembering the previous night. Surely that was it. When I let go of the beer bottle it was almost empty. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and started off toward the bedroom. It was locked. "Tina," I called. Everything got a little blurry. I might have heard some frantic shuffling on the other side of the door. I might have heard a deep voice asking about his shoes and being told in a harsh whisper to forget the damn things. I might have heard the window slide open - or perhaps closed, since I had left it open this morning. I might have heard these things, or I might not have. The door knob shook and I opened the door. I found Tina sitting down at the vanity, brushing her hair. Her cheeks were red. Her breathing was heavy. Our sheets were in a pile on the floor next to the bed. "What are you doing home?" she asked. She might have said it defensively. "Why were all the doors locked?" I asked. "You never lock the doors." Tina looked away. She pulled her robe tightly around her and continued brushing her hair. "There was something on the news about someone the police are after. Kind of freaked me out." I sat down on the bed. Tina's back was to me, but I could see her reflection. Even there, she refused to make eye contact. "I didn't think you did laundry on Fridays." "Well, I thought the sheets could use changed. Especially after last night." "I see. So you were rolling around in here moaning and screaming on a bed with no sheets. Even if you were alone, it kind of defeats the purpose of changing the sheets, don't you think?" I heard a noise in the living room. I was on my feet in seconds, but seconds weren't good enough. The door slammed by the time I reached it. By the time I got it open and ran outside, I was met with the revving engine of the car that had taken my parking space. The car sped away, leaving skid marks across the pavement. Enraged, I grabbed a nearby stone and hurled it at him. It smashed into his rear window, leaving a sizeable crack that would likely spider out in a few days. Back in the house, I stormed into the bedroom and slammed my first on the vanity. "Who was he?" I demanded. "Who was he!?" Tina could not answer. She stared blankly into the mirror. I grew angry. Enraged. I balled my hands into fists and with a feral cry, I unleashed my fury on the wall next to me. My first sank in almost to my elbow. The sting of rent flesh brought a touch of reason to the fog of anger in which I was engulfed. I withdrew my bloodied hand and found Tina staring at me in the mirror. The glass reflected the fear in her eyes. It made me sick to my stomach. "Why?" I asked hoarsely. Tina stood and faced me with such ferocity behind her eyes, I wondered if she had planned this speech. "Because last night was the first time we've been together in TWO MONTHS! Because you care more about your stupid job than you care about this marriage! You'd rather spend the night in an office than come home to me in our bed! And on those rare nights when you ARE here before I go to bed, you spend the whole night either buried in the newspaper or on the internet!" I bore her rage with as much patience as I could. I had, after all, earned every word of it. When she finally turned away, it took me a minute to gather my thoughts. "We made a choice," I said. "We made a commitment to each other." She spun around again. "Yes. WE did. But then YOU made another choice: to put your job first. You broke that commitment first, Nick. You did. What else did you expect?" ********** "Maybe she's right," I said before throwing back my ninth beer of the night. The bar was uncomfortably crowded, even at this late hour. Or was that early hour? I had stopped watching the clock. Across from me sat Kyle. He had been my friend and companion since my early days at the company. He was someone I felt I could rely on, a friend to be trusted in all things. I had asked him to join my team, but he had politely declined. Whether it was due to disinterest or an incredible foresight was quite beyond my knowledge. He looked at me through pensive eyes. "You need to slow down," he said. "You're going to get sick." "It's all part of the plan," I said. "I'm going to get so drunk I have no choice but to drink here." Kyle's eyebrow shot up. "I just said 'drink here' didn't I?" "Yeah." "Sleep! I'm going to sleep here!" "Right," Kyle said. "Look, stop beating yourself up over this. Even if she had problems with what you were doing, she should have tried to talk to you about them. She didn't do that. So it's not just your fault." That thought hadn't occurred to me before. I could at least understand why she was upset. I'd known about it for awhile. But why hadn't she come to me to talk about it? Or had she, and I just didn't realize it? Was I really that self-obsessed? "Why don't you let me drive you home?" Kyle asked. "I'm not going back there." "You can't sleep here, Nick. At least come to my place." "Yeah, all right." I finished my drink, threw some money on the table, and stood up. I had barely begun to reach for my coat when I saw a very familiar pair of boots walk in. The crowded bar virtually parted to give these boots some space. When she finally cleared the crowd, I couldn't help but grin. Becky left a swath of drooling drunkards in her wake as she approached the bar. It might have been the beer or the stress or something else entirely, but the moment I saw Becky walk in I had no plans on leaving that bar. "Thanks just the same," I said. "But I think I've got a good reason to stay." Kyle followed my gaze. He was not impressed. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said. "Working late with her was half your problem." "I never said she was mad about who I was working with," I snapped. "Besides, it doesn't matter. She made the choice. You just said it yourself." "Nick..." "Go!" I said, a little more harshly than I intended. Kyle stared at me for a moment, then turned and walked away. For a moment, I wanted to call him back and apologize. That moment was long forgotten the second I saw Becky again. I didn't know what to expect, but I walked to her side. The seats next to her filled up quickly. She didn't seem to mind the attention. She bartender placed a strawberry daiquiri in front of her. I slid up next to her, blocking one of the guys who looked ready to speak to her. "I've got this one," I told the bartender. "Put it on my tab." Becky's eyes lit up when she saw me standing next to her. "Nick! Oh my god!" She embraced me briefly. "I guess we had the same idea, huh?" "Looks like it," I said. "I've got a table over there if you want to join me." "Wouldn't miss it," she said. ********** Midnight was fast approaching, but time had lost all meaning since I had invited Becky to my table. Our chatter was inane, and we both knew it. On some level, neither of us really wanted to admit what had happened, much less discuss it openly. And so deeper into our cups we went, talking about all things irrelevant and mundane. Movie likes and dislikes, favorite board games, the absurdity of dressing up pets, first drinks (type, age, and location), and, presently, first kisses. "I was fourteen," I said. She was maybe two years younger." "You cradle robber," she laughed, thrusting aside another empty glass and motioning for what must have been her fourth daiquiri. "Hey, you're what, four years younger?" I asked. "Three," Becky said. Her eyes narrowed. "But to the best of my knowledge, you've never kissed me." "Can I continue now? Thanks. Anyway, it was probably around 9:00 or so. We were at a wedding for someone on my side - I can't remember who. We found this stairway off the room where the dance floor was and just went up there and sat and talked. She made a comment about her sister would be teasing her if she knew she was up there. I said something like, maybe we should give them something to talk about then. She leaned in before I could even react and there you go." "Aw," Becky said. "How cute. Did you slip her the tongue?" "Maybe." "You dirty old bastard!" she laughed, reaching across the table and slapping my hand. It was the first time we had that kind of contact: bare skin to bare skin. Sure we hugged once in awhile, but this was different and it felt different. Like touching a doorknob after building up a static electricity charge. Judging from the slight awkwardness in her eyes, she felt it, too. "Okay," I said. "Let's hear yours." I was amused at how quickly her cheeks reddened. The waitress placed another drink in front of her and she quickly drank a third of it. "Fine," she said. "But no funny comments, ok? Mine is kind of unusual." "I promise nothing," I said. "Now let's hear it." "Fine. I was fifteen. My friend Stephanie was spending the night. I had a huge on this guy Rob, and he finally asked me out so we were talking about it like, all night. We were going on a date and I was really freaked out because I had never kissed a boy. So she said I should practice on my pillow. I can't believe I'm telling you this. This is so embarrassing." She laughed and took another drink. "You've got to finish now," I said. "Besides, everyone practiced on their pillows." "That's not the part that's embarrassing," she said. Another drink and another deep breath and she was ready. "But I did do that a few times. It was so dumb, right? Pillows don't have lips so how was this good practice? So Stephanie goes, let's just practice together. She had a boyfriend and they hadn't kissed yet either, so she thought it'd be good for both of us, right? What do I know, I'm fifteen. So I agreed." She must have noticed that my jaw was sitting on the table, because she immediately got squirmy. "What?" she asked. "That's it? That's all I get?" "What more do you want?" "Did you slip her the tongue?" She smiled. "No. But she slipped it to me." "I can't believe I've known you for four years and I'm just now finding out about this," I said, acutely aware of the impact such a thought had on me. "It's not exactly something I brag about," Becky said. "Why, does the thought of me kissing a girl get you going?" I laughed. "I'm male, aren't I? Of course it does." "In that case, we need to stop this line of questioning before we get to 'first sex experiences.' I need a LOT more booze to go there." I could only shake my head in awe. "You've got quite a wild side, don't you?" Becky flashed me a very naughty smile. "Maybe." I wiped my moist forehead and summoned the waitress for another drink. "I never would have imagined. Wow. Thanks for that - I really needed this kind of distraction today." Becky's pleasant smile vanished. "Yeah. Me too," she said. "What did wifey say when you told her?" Until that very moment, it had not even occurred to me that I never told Tina I had lost my job. I suddenly found the thought very funny, and started laughing with progressive hysteria. I felt Becky's eyes one me. Her gaze morphed from gratuitously shared laughter to utter confusion. "Was it something I said?" she asked. "I didn't tell her!" I laughed. "Isn't it great? I didn't tell her!" "Um...yeah, I guess that's great," she said. "You're going to have to tell her at some point though, aren't you?" My laughter subsided, immediately replaced with a sorrow that almost as profound. "I don't know," I said. "I guess it depends on what happens next." "Ok, Nick?" Becky began. "It may be because I'm definitely drunk probably... but I have no idea what you're talking about." The truth of my situation seemed to chase away the inebriation. I waved down our waitress for another drink. "When I got home from work today, Tina was... I walked in on her having sex with someone else." The color seemed to drain from Becky's face. "Oh my god, I am so sorry," she said. "Do you know who it was?" "Nope. He slipped out the window on me. I tried to chase him down but he drove off." "Did you get his plate number?" His plate number. Why hadn't I thought of that? Oh right, blinding rage, hurling rocks, and complete denial. "Uh... no," I said. "I was too busy throwing rocks at him." I smiled and added, "Took out a chunk of his rear window." Becky seemed almost as distraught as me. The sad eyes and frown lines didn't look good on her; I was used to seeing smiles and laughter light up her pretty features. "I'm so sorry," she said again. "I can't believe it." "I appreciate it," I said. "I'll be fine, we just have to... figure out what's next." Becky reached across the table and took my hands in hers. I felt it again - that jolt when we touched. "Listen, if you need to talk about it at all... I mean, I know I'm not one of your guy friends, so maybe it would be weird, but... I'm here." I gave her hands a squeeze. "You're way better than my guy friends," I said. "I can talk to you and ogle you at the same time. Not so much with them." Becky smiled, and the red returned to her cheeks. "Thanks," she said. "And for what it's worth - I never much cared for wifey anyway. Way too needy for someone like you. Definitely not your type." My heart quickened. We were on uncertain ground here, and part of me didn't like it. Where was this conversation going? I was excited and dismayed by the potential answer. But the alcohol had impaired my reason. I was going on instinct, and my instinct told me to just go with it. "I have a type?" I asked. "Yes you do," she said with a sly grin. "You're a free spirit. You don't want to be tied down by a homebody. You need someone independent, who will take risks with you." "Wow," I said. "You've put a lot of thought into this." For a split second, her confidence faltered. Yet she appeared to gather herself and press onward anyway. "Don't flatter yourself" she said. "I've just got a talent for picking out personality traits." "That's a useful talent." "It's one among many," she said. She bit her lower lip and regarded me carefully. "I'll be right back," she said. She rose up and walked away, disappearing behind me. On Changing Ground Pt. 01 Probably going to the bathroom, I thought to myself. The most recent karaoke singer finished up. I turned to watch the next victim embarrass themself, and was shocked to find Becky up there. She glanced over at me and saw me looking. She shot me a wink. After choosing her song, she took hold of the mic and moved to the front of the stage. The crowd grew silent, a first for this bar. Then again, I wasn't surprised. Becky looked absolutely stunning. She tapped the mic. "This is for a friend of mine," she said. "He's going through a hard time right now. I want him to know that... just because some doors close... that doesn't mean there's not a cute blond with a fetish for pink who thinks about him, and maybe this song... or at least the subject matter, shall we say, waiting behind the next door." Becky winked at me and started the song. I couldn't suppress the enormous grin when I heard the opening notes of the Divinyls' "I Touch Myself." I turned my chair completely around and watched in amazement as Becky began singing. Not only did she have a gorgeous voice, she had a tremendous stage presence as well. I didn't know if it was natural or just the alcohol - I suspected the former - but she was as comfortable up on stage as she was in the computer lab. She worked her down to me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me up to the stage with her. I fought her initially, but the crowd was actually clamoring for it. She grabbed a vacant chair from nearby and put it in the middle of the stage. She danced around me and sang, very much at home in front of the crowd. She caressed herself and posed suggestively as the lyrics progressed and changed. I was completely enraptured, watching her lithe form sway, glide, and jiggle all over the stage and, at times, all over me. She was so incredibly graceful. She owned every inch of her body and used it to its stunning, full effect. My cares and concerns drifted away, consumed instead with an intense desire to be closer to Becky. As the song wound down, Becky slid up along my right side. She placed her right foot squarely in my lap. She had slipped it out of her shoe and ran it up and down my thigh. Her skirt, which was fairly high to begin with, slid up even further. She slid her foot across my lap, apparently well pleased with the rather obvious reaction she had created. She slid down into my lap, using the back of the chair. She brushed her lips against my cheek. When the song finished, our lips were inches apart. My heart was practically in my throat. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But something inside of me hesitated, and our moment was gone. Becky smiled graciously as she rose off of me. The crowd applauded her emphatically as she used my shoulder as balance to get her shoe back on. ********** The night air was warm as I walked out of the bar. It was almost 2:00 AM, and the last vestiges of life in the city were finally closing down. The stars were out in force, surprisingly vivid despite the light pollution of the inner city. Becky and I wandered aimlessly down the sidewalk and stopped only after a few paces. An awkward silence hung between us as our buzzes began to wane. I don't know what was going through her mind. Mine was busy trying to find a reason for this night not to end. I didn't want to go home, didn't want to face reality. "Well," I began uncertainly. "Today was definitely not what I was expecting." "Me neither," she agreed. "You never told me you could sing," I offered, lamely grasping for small talk to keep things alive. "I can't. You were just so blitzed in there you thought it sounded good." "No, no, no. I used to be something of a karaoke celebrity back home. Trust me - that was pure talent." "Uh-huh," Becky said. Were her cheeks turning red? "Somehow I don't think my singing was foremost on your mind. Judging from what I saw anyway." She looked away, still smiling. "That doesn't mean I can't appreciate it, does it?" I asked. "I mean, every day at work you come in and I admire how beautiful you are. But I still appreciate your technical skills and your management skills." Becky's smile grew wider. "Did you just call me beautiful?" I offered a hesitant nod. "I, uh... I guess so. Is that okay?" "Yeah - I mean of course it is. I just wasn't expecting it. Usually it's "hot" or "sexy" or something stupid. Never beautiful. I kind of like that." I stepped closer to her. "It suits you." She smiled - a wide smile of adoration and gratitude. I became lost in the darkness of her eyes, and the fading bustle of the city dimmed and faded away. I felt my self-control gradually slipping away. I pressed my lips against Becky's. She responded immediately to my tentative move. I felt her hands on my face as she pulled me closer to her. Within moments, I could taste the strawberry daiquiri's on her tongue. I pressed into her and she slid against the bar's outside wall. The feeling of her tongue against mine was potent and dizzying. I gently withdrew, but remained just inches away. All I knew in that moment was Becky, and how badly I wanted to be closer to her. "Do you know how long I've wanted that?" she asked breathlessly. "Maybe we should find someplace we could do it again," I offered, just as breathless. She nodded and pulled me in for another kiss. This time there was no pretense - our tongues intertwined immediately. The dizziness returned as Becky grabbed hold of my shoulders and turned, shoving me against the wall.After several desperate moments, she broke away. "This way," she said. She grabbed my shirt and pulled. ********** I managed to keep my hands and lips to myself long enough to get to Becky's apartment building, but once those elevator doors closed, all bets were off. We were so ferociously wrapped up in each other, I barely noticed the passing of the floors. It was late enough that there were no other passengers; we shot straight to her floor - the number of which escapes me to this day, since I hadn't bothered paying any attention. With kisses that desperate, I couldn't be bothered with such details. Becky clumsily fumbled with her keys, finally getting the right one and jamming it into the door. She deftly pulled it out and dragged me into the room. I found myself flung against the wall of the small entrance hallway. Becky pressed into me, her breath hot against my mouth. "Welcome to my place," she said between kisses. "This is the hallway." I was again pulled, this time down the hall and into the wider opening of her kitchen. I tried to take stock of the room, but Becky's lips had other ideas. "Kitchen," she said as she pulled me through a small door and against another wall. She untucked my shirt, then undid the buttons in just a few swift strokes. Had I been more cognizant at that time, I surely would have been impressed. "Living room," she whispered as her lips practically bit into my neck. I grabbed her gently by the shoulders and switched places, so that she was against the wall. "Design it yourself?" "Most of it." "It's nice." We kissed again as I pulled her shirt over her head. I pinned her raised hands against the wall with one of mine, and slid the other down the length of her flawless body. Her breasts were screaming to be released from the pink and white front-clasp bra, and I gladly obliged them. I caressed her form, from her cheek down her neck and over her breasts. My lips soon followed, blazing a wet trail down between her breasts and down her abs. I stopped for a moment to unclasp her skirt and let it fall to the floor. A thin piece of fabric - pink and white, of course - remained in my way. I kissed Becky's stomach again, making a slow path downward. My hands found the sides of her panties and just as my lips would have touched them, I pulled them down. I paused then, as I finally admitted to myself the number of times I had dreamed about this moment. I looked up at Becky, whose eyes were full of desperation and desire, and then I took the plunge. Almost immediately, I felt her fingernails digging into the back of my skull. I lifted her left leg and placed it over my shoulder to permit myself a better angle. Her hips began to grind against me, and her hands urged me onwards. Yet it was her sighs - breathy, high-pitched, sensual gasps - that drove me mad. My inebriation had taken flight, replaced with a lustful drunkenness issuing forth from the sweetness that flowed from between Becky's legs. I don't know how much time had passed, but I felt Becky's hands wrap around me and pull me up to her. She drove her tongue between my lips as her hands unclasped my belt and pants. They fell to the floor. Becky leapt onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist. "That way," she gasped. We tumbled into her bedroom and within seconds Becky had slid my boxers to the floor. Her hands wrapped around me and I felt her lips curl up into a smile as I kissed her. "All right then," she said. She turned around and took my hands in hers. She kissed me, then gently stepped forward, pulling me behind her. She crawled up on the bed, still facing away from me, and got up on all fours. She smiled and motioned me forward. I was happy to oblige. The first moments inside of Becky sent waves of electricity through me. I took it slow at first, relished every second. Becky met my thrusts, throwing herself backwards as I pushed forwards. I braced my legs, held on to her hips, and soon enough we developed a powerful, steady rhythm. It was at that point that I happened to look forward. There was a vanity directly across the room from us, and we were positioned at just the right angle to see the mirror. The sharp beams of moonlight that cut in through the curtains gave off just enough light to see Becky's face in the mirror. Her eyes seemed to light up when she saw me looking at her. I watched as she gazed lustfully at me through her reflection, and it occurred to me that our location on her bed wasn't accidental. Eventually, Becky slid herself forward and turned. I was prepared to climb up on the bed, but she had other ideas. She slid down to the floor and took me into her mouth. My knees buckled almost at once as she repeatedly slid her lips around me. My head spun. Wherever her lips weren't, her hands were, and vice-versa. The sensation was so intense I had to grab hold of the footboard of Becky's bed. After a few minutes of this matchless pleasure, Becky rose to her feet. She pushed me against the bed and I slid up onto it. She crawled on top of me and kissed me all the way back. Seconds later, she impaled herself on top of me. She groaned and stayed low at first. Our lips roamed freely across the others' exposed flesh. I could taste the sweat forming on her bare skin as my tongue sought out her breasts and everything else it could reach. Finally, Becky's groaning intensified. She sat straight up and began to grind harder into me. She clawed at my stomach, and I could feel the flesh tearing under her nails. With another desperate moan she brought her hands to her breasts and squeezed. Our eyes met briefly and she smiled - I think it was a smile - before she looked behind us, right at the mirror. I felt her tighten around me and she screamed my name, then collapsed forward and pressed her lips against mine. Her breathing was erratic as her hips ground into me. Finally, the tightening abated and her breathing returned to normal. "Oh god, Nick," she gasped. "That was... oh god." She kissed me again, pressed her tongue into my mouth. I felt her slide off of me as her tongue slid out of my mouth, down my neck, chest, and stomach. It slithered around me twice before her lips closed around me. Her hands gripped me firmly, steadily moving up and down in time with her bobbing head. She seemed to so thoroughly enjoy herself, it didn't take long before I couldn't hold back. I whispered a warning, but Becky didn't care. I exploded in her mouth three times - yet when she finally removed her lips, there was no trace. She finished her work, then sat up and smiled. "Wow," she said. "You did say you wanted to help me start the weekend off right," I replied with a grin. We slid up to her pillows and Becky snuggled up under my arm. I held her close, gently stroking her bare arm. It was at that moment when, somewhere between the state of drunken bliss and sobering reality, between contentedly asleep and unhappily awake, somewhere in those moments before my eyelids finally closed for the night, that I realized... this can't be. This isn't right! ********** The distant rumble of thunder stirred me from my slumber. In those first few blissful moments, I was back in my bed. Tina was curled up next to me. I was whole. Complete. The next moments brought with them a room that was vaguely unfamiliar, a bed that didn't feel right, and a body that did not belong to Tina. I sat up slowly and looked to my left. Becky was wrapped up in a satin sheet that covered most of her torso. Her shoulders and legs were bare. Her lips were curled up in a slight grin, as though she were keeping some secret from the rest of the world. She looked almost angelic. I staggered to my feet and stumbled out into the darkness of Becky's apartment. The open window shades in the kitchen permitted enough ambient light in to allow me to find the fridge. I helped myself to a beer and looked around the place. It was meticulously organized - everything had its place and was arranged to perfection. Becky had always taken great pride in appearances - a fact I now knew extended into her personal life as well as her work life. Work life. What did those words even mean anymore? My work life was over. All the struggling and effort I had put into my job, gone. My home life was over, too. There's no way I could go back to Tina. No way I could trust her again. Kyle had been right earlier: Tina could have come to me and talked out our problems. She didn't. She went elsewhere to get the attention and affection she craved, instead of coming to me. And my work ethic certainly wasn't going to change. Wherever I ended up, if I ended up anywhere, I was going to give my all, just as I always had. We'd be back in the same boat in no time. So many things had gone wrong. In the course of a single day, my entire world had changed. There would be no easy fix. I didn't even know where to start. I saw a door in the living room that led out onto a balcony. I opened it carefully, stepped out into the damp night air and found myself quite at home, at least twenty stories high. The balcony provided a stunning view of the city. It was an unfamiliar part, at least from this perspective. Wherever we were, my former office was obviously on the other side of town. Yet I immediately felt the same sense of peace that washed over me every time I looked out of my office window. My life was in shambles, but up here, I was removed from it all. I was outside of it all. And that's how I would figure out where to begin. The lighting streaked across the sky. The storm was almost upon us. For a split second, I saw the lighting bolt reflected perfectly in the water below. The water. The river. I followed its winding course until it disappeared into the darkness of the horizon. I knew the river well. As a child, I had lived in a house along its banks. I had swam in it, taken girlfriends down next to it. As far from my home as I had moved, it still seemed very close whenever I would look at the river. Home. Was that the answer? Could that be what I was looking for? I didn't think so. I hadn't left my hometown on the best of terms. There were too many ghosts there. Too many spectres waiting for me. Besides, what about Becky? Tonight had surely meant something, right? We both had felt it. She had even told me after our first kiss that she'd wanted that for a long time. So had I, I just didn't have the luxury of letting those thoughts in. But now I could. Now, we could have something together. But what? Workplace flirting and one night of passionate - and quite frankly, incredible - sex didn't mean we were heading for a meaningful relationship. As beautiful as she was, and as much as I cared about her, I didn't know her that well. We usually kept our personal lives to ourselves. We were friends who were closer to acquaintances and as much as I hated to admit it, there wasn't likely to be a future there. For that matter, as far as I could tell, I didn't have a future anywhere. Not anymore. That had been stolen from me. My faith in the industry had been shaken to its core, and I did not embrace the idea of rushing back into it only to have my job pulled out from under me. No - I needed time away from all of this. I needed to find out who I was, and what I was really made of. In my heart of hearts, I knew that meant going home. Maybe it was time to deal with those ghosts. The storm finally reached the city. The skies opened up and the rain began to fall. I looked out over the sleeping, soaked landscape and bade my city a silent farewell. It was time to go home. ********** I looked around my bedroom - well, what was once my bedroom - and felt a tremendous emptiness inside. All of the things that had made that room mine were gone. The computer desk. The pile of laundry I never bothered to put away. A great empty space in the walk-in closet. The lamp from my side of the bed. My trinkets that adorned (Tina would use the words "cluttered up") my night stand. It felt like it was only half a room. Which was fine, I suppose, since I felt like half a person. I closed the final box. The packing tape made a godawful racket as it was ripped away from the dispenser. I knew the feeling. I was making the same noise inside my mind at being ripped away from the life I had known. I felt a presence in the room, and turned to find Kyle. "Living room's done," he said. I nodded. "This is the last box, then." I stared at it for a few moments. I didn't want to move it. Didn't want it to be over. And Kyle, bless his heart... he knew it. "You want me to take it?" he offered. "No. I'll do it." But I didn't. I just stood there. "You sure, man?" I nodded, and I heard the floor shift as Kyle departed. I took a look around the room that had been my home. I remembered every moment I spent there: from our first night back from honeymoon to the wild night of passion from 48 hours ago, and every moment in between. Every anniversary. Every Christmas morning. I remembered it all, and each memory sent a sharp pain through my chest. When I left home to move to the city, I had set out to build a life for myself. To climb the corporate ladder, settle down with a wife, and eventually have a family. For a long time, I felt like I was on my way to success. But I had only been kidding myself. I had failed. And it was time to put that failure behind me. I reached down and lifted the box. Turned. Walked out of the room. The living room was haunted by the ghosts of happier times. Trimming the Christmas tree with Tina. Passionate, spontaneous lovemaking on the couch. And the floor. And my recliner. Quiet nights in with a DVD and a bowl of popcorn. And every one of those moments brought with them the same accusation: failure. You're a failure. Get out. You don't deserve to keep us. Broken, I choked down the rising lump in my throat and, through laborious and exhausted footsteps, I finally passed through the door. I found Kyle waiting behind my car. I put the last box in my trunk and closed it. An awkward silence hung in the air between us. "Not going to be the same without you," he said. "I'm sure they'll replace me soon enough," I said glibly. "I wasn't talking about at work.," he said. I smiled, but it was forced and painful. "I know." On Changing Ground Pt. 01 "So - where you heading?" "Onacam," I said. "I found an apartment there for a decent price." "Gonna be hard to find an I.T. job out there, isn't it?" "I don't know if I want to go back," I said. "I mean, why bother? I'll probably just lose my job there, too." "Come on, Nick, this industry is your life." "This industry cost me my life," I said, a little more harshly than I would have liked. "I'm sorry. I'm not... I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I just know I have to get out of here. For awhile at least." Kyle gazed upon me with sad fondness. He offered a conciliatory smile. "Well - when you get back in town, look me up." He offered his hand. I took it firmly and pulled him into a one armed embrace. "You'll be the first one I call," I said. "We'll still get together at Wild Wings once in awhile, too." "Just tell me when. I'll be there." We broke apart. With great reluctance I slid behind the wheel of my Jag. I cast a lingering look upon my apartment, and upon my friend. Then I started the ignition, pulled out of my space, and drove away. I did not look back.