0 comments/ 7740 views/ 0 favorites Ofelia Ch. 02 Pt. 01-03 By: CervanServidor i. The next day was Friday, and it was payday. Ofelia was at her machine when her boss paid his first visit to his new "teacher's pet", as Beatriz and some of the other ladies were calling Ofelia. This time instead of chatting with her over the noisy machines he just tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and smiled pleasantly. "Come with me a minute." Daniel said. "Okay." He took her to his office, which was nothing more than a box with walls, a desk, a file cabinet, and an ancient computer. When he closed the door it was much quieter, but Ofelia could still hear the sound of the machines, the yattering of the workers, laughter. Daniel was acting differently and Ofelia picked up that vibe almost as soon as she had seen him. Her heart beat fast in her chest. Daniel asked her to sit down. There was only one chair, and it was the one at his desk. Ofelia told him it was okay, she would rather stand. "I get tired if I sit." Ofelia said, trying to smile. Daniel looked at her as if he was about to fire her. They looked at each other for a long time. Then all of a sudden Daniel's body loosened up and he looked past her shoulder, at the door to his office, then back at Ofelia. "You always win, huh?" "What?" "Staring contests." "What's that?" "Never mind. Listen, Ofelia, I don't like to play games. I don't have the smarts for it, or the spine for it. So let's just be honest with each other..." Ofelia said, "I don't like to play games, either." "Lie number one. Okay, have it your way." Daniel said, and leaned on the back of his desk. He crossed his arms. "We're going to play a game. Every time one of us tells a lie, we keep count. We get to three, we lose, and the game is over." Ofelia felt a chill run through her. Out of habit, her brain had her answer ready, and she almost let the words spill out of her mouth, *It's not a lie*, before swallowing them back down. If she had spoken those words it would have been lie number two. Daniel saw her hesitation and nodded, "The thing about lying is, you can't just tell one. You need a second lie to cover the first lie, and a third and fourth to cover the first two. After a while there's no room for the truth. You get to the point where you have to do nothing but lie in order to make sense. Believe me, I know." Ofelia felt her stomach heat up, but not in a good way. She clasped her long fingers behind her back, tilted her head slightly to one side. She was clearly on the defensive. "Whatever." "Whatever." Daniel echoed, and his pain and anxiety were creeping through his tough facade. "Ofelia, I'm gonna be straightforward with you, okay? Here's the thing. I lied to you yesterday, for selfish reasons. After I lied to you once I had to lie a few more times to keep from exposing the first one. I did that because I let the wrong part of my anatomy do my thinking for me. I lied because I'm a weak person. I want to apologize for that. I'm very sorry, Ofelia, for lying to you yesterday." "What lie?" Ofelia asked. Her heart beat faster. "I lied when I said I wanted to take you somewhere only as a friend. I lied when I said my intentions were honorable. I lied when I said I wanted your fiance to come along." Ofelia's expression softened up as she heard him make his confession. Of course, she knew he was lying when he said those things. Boys and men always lied to get what they wanted. That was one of the ways Ofelia rationalized her own behavior: if boys could lie to her to get what they wanted, then she could lie to them to get what she wanted. It was only fair. "It's okay." Ofelia told Daniel, "I know you didn't really mean it." "Yes," her boss said, "but it's important to admit to a lie. I'm admitting to my lies because I want you to admit to yours." Once again Ofelia was stuck without an answer. Telling the truth wasn't something she was used to. The truth felt almost foreign to her. She couldn't imagine how she was going to keep this conversation going without telling lies. "Okay." she said, and for the first time she lowered her eyes. It was like a colossal weight had been lifted from Daniel's shoulders. She was dressed in a pair of white corduroy jeans and a bright orange sweatshirt, her hair tied in a pony-tail. Without a stitch of make-up, Ofelia was the most beautiful girl Daniel had ever seen. With her breasts all but invisible, non-existent in the roomy shirt, and with her almost boyish waist and hips, her sexual power was still palpable in the air, like static electricity. One kiss from her unpainted mouth was more pleasure than any man had a right to. "For a start, Ofelia, how about you admit to just one?" Daniel said, "Just one. Name one thing you said to me yesterday that was a lie." There was a pause. Ofelia finally looked up, and she was trying not to smile. "Okay, I have one." "Let's hear it." "When I said you were bad. That was a lie." "So, you didn't really think I was being bad?" Ofelia had to think for a moment. "Well, you were, kind of, in a way that all boys are bad. But you weren't bad, like, in a way that bothers me, like if you hit me or something." "I see. Alright." Ofelia became more animated as she thought of another lie, "And, it was a lie when I said you were getting in trouble with me." Daniel took his hand and pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead, "Whew!", he said, "That's sure good to know!" Ofelia laughed. One of the things she liked the most about her boss was that he could always make her laugh. She didn't care that the other ladies weren't as impressed with him as she was. She was glad that he wasn't terrifically handsome, because then maybe he could have any woman he wanted, and he wouldn't want some skinny little girl like her. "Looks like we've made a start." Daniel said. He looked at his watch. "I don't want to keep you here too long, Ofelia. Goodness knows what the other ladies will think. The thing is, I want you to know something, and I decided to just come out and say it. I'm almost forty years old and I can't afford to pussyfoot around anymore." Ofelia tilted her head at one of the words he used. Her eyebrows came together. But she forgot about it as soon as he spoke again. "So here it is." Daniel said, "I wish you weren't engaged. I wish you weren't getting married. I wish I had never heard of someone named Leonard Santiago. I wish you had never heard of someone named Leonard Santiago. I don't want him to have you because I want you. I don't want anyone to have you, because I want you all to myself." Ofelia's eyes grew wide and the hint of a smile glimmered underneath her expression, like a diamond catching the sunlight and glinting from the bottom of a pool. Lots of words flashed on the surface of her mind, guey, sheeez, chale, hello! But to give utterance to any of them would have been a lie. Suddenly, she thought of something to say, "Are we still playing that game where we count the lies?" "Yes." "I don't know what to say, then." Ofelia said, knowing how foolish it sounded. Her hands came from being linked behind her to the front. She was playing with the ends of her fingers as if she were wearing gloves, pushing and pulling them. It was a nervous habit. "I have to marry Leonard, I mean, it's like...." "Sweetie, I'm not asking you to ditch him and pick up with me. I'm just telling you how I feel. I've never felt this strongly about a woman before. There's something about you, the way you talk to me, the way you look at me, ever since you started working here. I just want you to know these things. I don't want to die without you knowing." Ofelia smiled ever so slightly. Finally Daniel had to move away. He shook his head, "God, you're so beautiful." he said, not looking at her, wandering over to the file cabinet. What he couldn't see was the turmoil growing hotter and hotter in Ofelia's stomach. She wanted to tell him that she felt the same way, that she belonged to him already, that he didn't have to win her away from Leonard or any other man. She wanted to tell him that he had won her months ago. She wanted to tell him that she was his girl, that she had been his girl for a long time. But these thoughts had never been given a voice before. Ofelia's tongue, her lips, her breath, didn't jibe well with honesty. She realized that the only people she had ever been honest with were Manuel and Dominga, and she even lied to them most of the time. She wondered if she could just show him. He had his back to her and she admired the set of his straight spine and shoulders. One of the things she had always liked about him was the way he stood and walked: erect and confident. Even hurting, he stood tall and proud. She walked over to Daniel and was about to tap him on the shoulder when his phone rang. She was so used to the world of cell phones that the ancient ringer startled her. She gave a squeal which in turn startled Daniel, and he spun around. Ofelia put her hand to her mouth and bubbled with a high pitch staccato laughter. "Sorry!" she said, as he spun about, finally homing in on his telephone. "Yeah?" he shouted, once he answered it. As he spoke he waved at Ofelia, and pointed to the door. "Go, go.." he was mouthing to her, waving his arm, as he spoke absently into the receiver. Ofelia returned to her machine, and ignored Beatriz with her scowling face. Strangely, she felt that something had changed, and she couldn't figure out if it was for the better. She knew that Daniel had those feelings for her, and it was no surprise; but it didn't make things seem any easier now that he had gotten his feelings out in the open. Would it make things any easier when she got hers out in the open? Would it make things seem more possible? Or just make the impossible seem even more impossible? What good was honesty if it didn't make the problems go away? And what fun was it? ii. While she worked, Ofelia's mind ran on a million things. She thought of the age difference between herself and her boss. He was sixteen years her senior. And yet Ofelia came from a culture that didn't frown on this kind of a gap in age. It presented no problem for Ofelia, but it seemed like an issue for Daniel. He kept mentioning his age like it was important. She also gave some thought to their ethnic difference. No one in her family had ever married a guero. Her father had run off with a white woman, but marriage was different. Sometimes people suspected the Hispanic person was marrying the white person for the wrong reasons. Ofelia had even heard a few accusations when she began to go out with Leonard. Leonard was only half Hispanic and had been born in Arizona. Why is such a beautiful girl going with a nerd like that? she heard people say: not directly, of course, but at second or third-hand. This was one of the reasons Ofelia had gotten so good at disregarding what other people thought about her. They had her pegged so dead wrong, it was as if they weren't speaking about her at all but about someone else who shared her name, someone who looked like her but wasn't. Ofelia thought of Leonard. How could she break her promise to him? She was not in love with him, she knew that long before she had developed feelings for Daniel; but she had a deep affection for him because of his decency, because he wasn't like other men. There was a strength to him which Ofelia admired, and yet there was a weakness which stood in the way of any true feelings of romantic love kindling in her for him. This weakness manifested itself in Leonard's inability to stake his claim. He tolerated her behavior with other men, and he tolerated the other men. She knew there was a sexual kink in him that worked in concert with the kink in her, even though they never spoke of it; but it was more than that. It wasn't cowardice, necessarily. I wasn't a lack of courage, it was a lack of passion. For Ofelia, passion was just another word for romantic love. If what happened between a man and woman lacked passion, it could be loving, but it could have no resemblance to romantic love. Not the way she conceived it. In other words, she did love Leonard, and could easily imagine herself as his wife. He was the perfect choice, as a husband, and as the father of her children; but he could be all those things and still not be her lover. How ironic it was that, when she really thought about it, even Manuel was more a lover to her than her own fiance. She couldn't imagine having with Leonard the very same thing that she had with Manuel only the night before. But, if Manuel had been Daniel? Aiy, she thought, I would have exploded. Ofelia was reluctant to examine herself in the same exhaustive and studious manner as she examined others. This was assuredly one of her worst faults. As she stood there at her machine she tried her hardest to be self-critical. She knew she was too free with men. That was easy. She gave them too many liberties, she wasn't stern enough with them. Of course, there was that kink of hers to consider. She didn't grant them liberties because she was a push-over, or was a faint little weakling. She let them do only so much, and exactly that much; and she let them do it because it gave her pleasure: it was rewarding to them, but a thousand times more rewarding to herself. She wondered, does that make it more of a sin? Of course it did. Being a push-over, being faint and weak, is one thing, and maybe not even such a terrible thing; but acting strictly for your own pleasure was certainly sinful. This was one of the things that Ofelia kept at a distance from her, in a blur of rationalizations and excuses. In fact, she had grown so adept at ignoring this understanding of herself that as soon as she thought about it there at her machine, it was gone again. She thought about her brother and wondered what he was thinking, wherever he was at the moment. Probably at the library, or the bookstore. Was it sinful, the relationship she and Manuel had? They never kissed like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they did things together that people in a romantic relationship did. She thought of the night before, and felt a mixture of embarrassment and excitement. She had never climaxed anywhere near that powerfully before. What a deliciously odd combination of things had gone into that overwhelming explosion of sensation, she thought! She had used her brother's hand to masturbate while thinking of Daniel. But could it have been just anybody's fingers down there? She thought about it. Leonard? Nope, sorry, Querido. Paul? Chale, no. For some reason she thought Manuel was the only one who would have been suitable as a conduit between her onanistic self and her lover, Daniel. Why was that? The answer was simple. Manuel loved her, and she loved him, even though he wasn't and couldn't be her romantic lover; but the advantage he had over Leonard was that, as her younger brother, she loved to make him happy. Because they were siblings and were so close, Manuel's happiness meant happiness for Ofelia. And since she knew how strongly he loved her (and probably even in a "romantic" way, though it was much deeper than that), she knew what it meant to him, what had happened last night. She could feel his happiness, and it made her happy. So it seemed to Ofelia that she had a choice to make, that there was no way of avoiding it. Daniel was not going to be happy unless and until he either possessed her or knew for a certainty that she was lost to him. She stood at her machine and already missed the excitement she had experienced at the pool with her boss. There was all that nervous tension, the uncertainty, the play-acting, the bluffing, those casual capitulations, forbidden kisses, and caresses. How could she live without any of that? Although she hated herself for it, Ofelia had already been entertaining a fantasy in which she was married to Leonard and having a passionate love affair with Daniel. She thought about it while she was at her machine. She had been thinking about it while getting dressed for work. When she was in her teens she read hundreds of those pulp fiction paperbacks, the ones with a picture of a woman being seized from behind by some mysterious lover in a gazebo somewhere. In those novels the husband was always some well-meaning dupe who couldn't satisfy his spitfire wife who was therefore forced to seek her sexual gratification in the arms of some prototypical bad-boy with the looks of an Adonis and the manners of a drunken sailor on shore leave. She remembered how excited she would get when the heroine went to meet her handsome but reckless lover, and when said lover was getting his seedy mitts all over her goblet-shaped, milk-white breasts which were supposed to give pleasure to the devoted and practical husband whose hard work and simple decency had earned and secured them for himself. Ofelia imagined herself and Daniel making love in a huge bed with fancy quilts and coverlets. She imagined herself lying back with her married legs thrown far and wide, her feet in the air, while Daniel took his pleasure greedily and lustfully. While this was going on Leonard would be at work with a pencil behind his ear and a clipboard in his hands, knowing that another man was taking good care of his wife in a manner in which he was utterly incapable. Such thoughts made Ofelia's heart beat faster, and gave her a pleasant tickle in her belly. But even as she had these thoughts she knew that Daniel would never agree to having her on those terms. He wanted her for himself and himself alone. He had said those exact words, and he had meant them. Or so she presumed. Ofelia imagined herself as Mrs. Davidson. A happily married woman who found all that she needed from men in one man alone. She imagined passionate nights filled with passionate, sanctified, moral, proper love-making. No more attention from dozens of hopeful suitors, no more exciting nights out laced with inappropriate kisses or fleeting, daring caresses. No more peeking eyes or wandering hands. No more wondering which blouse to wear, how much to show, how much to give, how much to hold back. Ofelia told herself that she wouldn't miss those things once she had Daniel and they were together. She tried to convince herself that she only liked those things because her life lacked romantic love and passion. Cheap thrills and excitements were just a place-holder for the real thing, and Daniel was the real thing. Ofelia's heart fluttered and she smiled at the thought, and tried to ignore the voice at the very bottom of her heart that quietly whispered, "No." iii. When her shift was over Ofelia went to get her paycheck and on her way out she passed by Daniel's office. She decided to knock on the door and see if he was in. He was. "I just wanted to say bye." Ofelia told him when he answered. He looked tired. She knew he had a lot of paperwork to catch up on, which was why he was keeping his office door closed. He asked her to step in for a moment, if she had time. Ofelia went into the tiny office and Daniel closed it behind them, though only so he wouldn't have to shout over the sound of the machines and the general noise as the swing shift crew was coming in (or so he thought to himself). "Ofelia, I was wondering..." Daniel began. Then he stopped abruptly. He asked, "Is Leonard working tonight?" "Yeah, he works every night, except Sunday." "Alright." Daniel said, and nodded. "Well, I would like to see you again. I mean, I would like to go out with you again, tonight." Ofelia's heart gave a jump. "Okay. I would like that too." she said, and she did that thing with her hands like she was playing with gloves. Daniel was glad. "Good. Of course, I'd want you to ask your fiance first, to make sure it was alright." Ofelia said, "I will. I'll see him for a minute when I get home. Or I can call him at work." Ofelia Ch. 02 Pt. 01-03 Ofelia looked over her shoulder as if to remind herself that they were alone. Daniel had been leaning on his desk and he stood up now, "Or if you're late for some other reason." "Yeah." Ofelia answered, and then Daniel was right in front of her. He took her face in his hands and put his lips to hers. They kissed like two people who had been going steady for months. They were a perfect fit. Ofelia had to bend her head back only slightly, and Daniel didn't have to lower his too much. He played with her hair and then held onto her slender waist, feeling the bones of her pelvis pushing hard through her skin. He put both hands square on her behind and squeezed her flesh through her soft denim jeans. He could feel the slippery fabric of her panties, the elastic seams. With his hands still firmly on her rump, Daniel broke away from her lips. "Aren't you going to tell me to stop?" he asked Ofelia, giving a squeeze with both hands. "No." Ofelia told him, her sweet breath warm in his mouth, "You can do whatever you want." "You shouldn't say that to a man. You never know who your dealing with." He told her, and there was a slightly diabolical edge to his voice which he had put there intentionally; but rather than scare the girl, Ofelia stepped up to her tip-toes and kissed Daniel. It was the first time in her twenty-three years she had ever acted aggressively in matters of sex. She had kissed back, of course, and probably much too willingly; but she had never kissed a man. Daniel was taken by surprise and responded to her in kind, but she pushed her mouth against his so forcefully he gave a little yell down her throat. Ofelia had a wild look in her eyes when she snapped off his lips, "Que?" she said, her eyes darting back and forth from one of his eyes to the other, and licking her lips, tasting blood on the soft flesh there which was either hers or Daniel's, she didn't care which. When she had spoken she lowered her eyes and was looking into his mouth. A change had come over her so fast and it was so dramatic Daniel was taken aback. He moved his hands from her bottom and started to pull away from her mouth which was coming ravenously towards him again. She was too fast. She caught his mouth on her mouth and her hand was on the back of his neck making sure he couldn't get away. Low grunts and groans came from her throat. She was pushing her tongue into his mouth, pressing against his tongue, then sucking it. She was trying to swallow him, mouth first. She was reminded of a book she had read where the author was theorizing that a passionate kiss was cannibalistic in nature. If you didn't want to devour your partner, there was something missing. Ofelia now knew what that author had meant, as she felt herself wanting to open her mouth wider and wider, to take more of her lover inside, to gobble him up. The idea made her even more excited. She was wet between her legs. She began to breathe faster. Suddenly Daniel eased himself away from her lips and her teeth and put his finger to her mouth, which Ofelia promptly bit down on. "Ouch!" He said, "Ofelia, hold on, wait....someone could come in....there's no lock on the door..." "So?" Ofelia answered, and Daniel saw her eyes zero in on his open collar. She bit her lower lip hard and then her fingers were there quickly undoing one button, then another. She had the third one undone and was working on the fourth when Daniel put his hands on her hands to stop her. She whined like a four year old when he squeezed her hands hard enough to make her stop. She looked up at him, her eyebrows knitted together, her lips pursed angrily because her designs had been frustrated; and she whined again, like a spoiled puppy. Ofelia looked so cute that Daniel laughed. Now she looked even more angry. "What?" Daniel put his hands up in defense, "Easy! Goodness gracious, sweetie." He blinked, then said dramatically and loudly, "Who are you, and what have you done with Ofelia's body?" Ofelia didn't get it. She was ready to lose her virginity, right there, right up against Daniel's ramshackle desk, or on it. Her big dark eyes blinked quickly, her head cocked to the side like a hunting dog's. Daniel was buttoning up his shirt, and suddenly Ofelia changed back into the girl he recognized. She stepped back. "Sorry." she said. "Sorry! Oh, no, no, no. Sweety, it's just that it's shift change and someone is bound to come in." Of course he had no idea Ofelia was a virgin, had no conception of what she was willing to give to him, right then and there. Only then did Ofelia think of Leonard, and a part of her felt ashamed. She put that thought into the back of her mind, along with the almost certain knowledge that she would not be losing her virginity to her long-suffering fiance. "I know." Ofelia said, and again her eyes took on the aspect of a hawk as she looked at his open collar, then downwards, at the rise in the front of his slacks. She wondered if it was bigger than Manuel's. It was obviously bigger than Leonard's. She wanted to take it and feel it hard in her hands, touch the smooth skin at the tip, smell its smell. She wanted to feel it inside her. She wanted to squeeze the hot white milk out of it. Daniel took her hands and she stepped up to him. She could taste his mouth and he could taste hers. Her hands were wet. He saw the pulse beating quickly in her neck. She stared up at him with such admiration that Daniel was overwhelmed. He squeezed her little hands and put them to his lips. She liked the way his mustache felt on the back of her fingers. "If we do go out tonight, you know what will happen?" "Yes." Ofelia said, "I want it to happen." "What about your fiance, your wedding. You must have been planning it with your Mom for months now. What about all that?" "I don't know." Ofelia shot back, "I don't want to think about that now." "As much as I want you, I can't help but feel terrible for what might happen to your plans." Daniel told her. Ofelia stepped up and gave him a kiss, "Don't think about it now." she told him. Her eyes darted back over her shoulder. She took Daniel's hands and put them against the front of her sweatshirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. Because her breasts were small and the shirt was so roomy, he couldn't tell just to look at her. Her nipples were like buttons under the thick fabric, in contrast to the slippery, elusive softness of her breasts. She smiled as his hands gathered her breasts as well as they could through the shirt. "Put them under." she said, whispering like it was a child's game. Daniel's heart caught in his throat as he moved his hands under her shirt. Her belly felt so hot he knew his hands must have felt frozen to her. Her breasts seemed cooler, because they were so detached from her body. He felt her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, squeezed and pulled them. "Pinch them more." she asked him, again her eyes darting back toward the door. "Someone could come in." He warned her, but did what she asked. "Harder." she asked him, and the harder he squeezed her nipples the more her mouth opened and the faster she breathed. She closed her eyes, then opened them. Daniel was enjoying her breasts, caressing them with full liberty, squeezing them firmly. Ofelia's fingers went down and he gave a muted cry as she rubbed his penis through his slacks. "This is big." she said, and raised her eyebrows, obviously pleased with what she found. Daniel was tongue-tied. She said it again, as her fingers followed it from the tip down along the bottom to where his testicles were tightening. "So big!" "Ofelia, someone could come in....please...." "Leonard's," Ofelia said, her eyes distant as she examined Daniel's penis through his slacks, "Doesn't get this big!" "Well that's not his fault...Ofelia....hold it..." "Okay!" "No! I mean, hold on, like, as in, 'wait'!" "I don't want to wait." she told him, and the way she was rubbing the underside of his penis he felt that he might end up needing a change of shorts. "I want to do everything for you. I'll do whatever you tell me." she said, and gave him another long, wet kiss. "I want to give you everything." "We'll see each other later." Daniel reminded her, and had to use force to pry her hand away from his pants. He went around and took a seat at his desk like a person who had been wounded. "Listen, honey, I want you to do one thing for me." "Anything. Just tell me and I'll do it." Ofelia answered immediately. She was breathless with excitement. "I'll do whatever you want." "Not like that. I mean, listen." Daniel began, "When you talk to Leonard, don't tell him you and I are going to a meeting or anything like that. Just tell him that I am coming to pick you up, to take you out. If he asks where, tell him you don't know yet, just 'out'". "Por que?" Ofelia asked, and shook her head, "Why?" "Because, I have a feeling he won't react in a bad way. In fact, I think he'll be just as excited as we are, though he won't say so." Ofelia's eyes grew wider and she seemed to recall something. She said, "I have a cousin who's married to this man who works here. He told me one time the same thing. He said that Leonard likes it when I am with somebody else. I think maybe that's true. I mean, I kind of figured it out before, anyway." "This doesn't have to be some kind of tragedy for him, Ofelia. At least not yet. It could be a way of letting Leonard adjust to the idea of losing you. I mean, presuming that might actually happen, which it might not." "Okay." Ofelia said, though she seemed uncertain. The only thing she was certain of was that she would obey Daniel. She felt weak at the knees when she felt the strength of that resolve. She had gone from being a skillful liar to being absolutely candid in one afternoon. At least as far as Daniel was concerned. And she was finding out that being shamelessly honest could be just as exciting as being tricky and coy. Daniel told Ofelia to go home and rest for a while, and that he would pick her up outside her apartment building at seven o'clock. Ofelia's heart sank, because it seemed such a long time. "What should I wear?" she asked. "Whatever you want." Daniel said, "We're not going anywhere special. Just to my apartment. If that's okay with you, of course." Ofelia smiled, "But I want to dress nice for you. I want to wear something you like." "You'd look good in a burlap sack." Daniel told her. Ofelia gave him that quizzical, hunting-dog look. Daniel's heart caught in his throat when he said to her, "It doesn't matter what you wear, sweetie, because it won't be staying on very long." Ofelia bit her fingernail and smiled at him, her eyes blazing. Finally she turned and left his office to head home.