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No More Swedish Meatballs

By: Krenna Smart



Hi.  Thanks for all the work you did to get Dreams of Destiny and Running on Fumes out.  This is a portion of my new novel which is about 74% completed.  It's very different from my other stuff.  Comments and crtitiques are VERY welcome.

Every year the symptoms of PCT, or Pre-Christmas Tension, began in the Hansen family on what Kristen's father, Karl Hansen, called "Black Friday." Black Friday was the day after Thanksgiving: The opening of Christmas spending madness on the Eastern seaboard. How Karl hated that day.

Black Friday was the day when Kristen's mother, Evelyn would head off in a flurry of excitement for a Christmas spending binge. She’d bundle Kristen and her older sister, Elizabeth into their winter coats and drive down to King of Prussia where the new Penny’s store started out what was to become one of the largest shopping malls in the world. Off they’d go to spend God knows how much money in pursuit of making $mas, as Karl called Christmas merry.

Kristen first became aware of PCT in about 1961 when she was six. PCT occurred much earlier than 1961, but she was too young to recognize the symptoms. Each year as Christmas approached, Evelyn would become cranky and Karl would become testy as hell. They would remain that way through New Year's Day when Christmas with all its blessings was finally over.

Oh the havoc Christmas wrought upon the Hansens! It was all tied up with Grandma Christina's suicide by hanging many years earlier. But of course Kristen didn't know that when she was growing up. She just knew Karl became a little strange and morose during the dark days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Evelyn drank a bit more then, too. Evelyn and Karl's fights became bitter and more brutal. Dishes went flying through the air during dinner. One year the tuna casserole ended up on the kitchen ceiling when Kristen's brother, Ned, spilled Ketchup on Elizabeth's lap. Karl flew into a fury and threw the plate up into the air and the tuna and noodles stuck where they stayed for at least four days. That was Karl's punishment.

Evelyn was great a punishing Karl. That was her tour de force. Evelyn made Karl pay and pay for her miserable days spent as a house wife in the Hansen mansion. She had a degree in social work but typing was her greatest talent. Evelyn was jealous of Karl's competence.   

Karl was good at everything he put his hand to. From 8:30 to 4:30, Monday through Friday Karl worked in a small office of a large corporation designing new technology. He was an inventor - A mathematician of the old school who never talked about his work. When he was at home took things apart and put them back together just for the hell of it. He was a carpenter, a mason, an electrician, a piano tuner, a clock fixer, an auto mechanic. He could be just about anything he wished to be. Except happy. 

The Hansen’s lived in a kind of suburbia that no longer exists in America. Most of the houses were built at a time when one bathroom was enough for a family of five or seven or more. Every morning the fathers on the block would get up for work, and step into the shower. After their showers they'd wipe the steam off the bathroom mirror and scrape at their beards with single edged razors. They'd emerge from the bathroom clean shaven, with white clots of shaving cream and little pieces of toilet paper on their necks ready for another work day.

Downstairs there would be a cacophony of children getting ready for school, fighting over the cereal and spilling milk on the floor. Maybe there'd be a baby in a high chair playing with gooey Gerber baby food. Mothers dressed in fuzzy bathrobes and slippers would be juggling the telephone and a spatula, frantically trying to sort out whose lunch box got what sandwich and what notebooks went with which child. The kitchen would be full of the smell of coffee and bacon. There might be a radio chatting about local matters. The fathers would sit down long enough to read the front page of the news paper, gulp down a cup of coffee, and eat a plate of bacon and eggs. Then they’d kiss the wife and kids and head off to the office, or where ever it was they went to earn the wages which supported a life that was becoming more and more difficult to enjoy.

This was the time between world war two and the Viet Nam War when the United States was emerging as a world power. The cold war and the space race were in full swing. New inventions were coming out daily making life sweeter and easier. Mothers were still staying at home and were focused on issues like good nutrition and early education. Fathers were working and scrambling for bigger houses, better cars, nicer vacations and college educations for the 2.2 children they were raising. 

The air waves were relatively quite. Television was still mostly in black and white and there were only a few stations. There was no F.M. radio.

The houses in the Hansen’s neighborhood were built in the 1920's to accommodate Pennsylvania railroad workers. The Paoli train station was only about a five minute walk from the Hansen mansion. The street where they lived branched off from Central Avenue. It made a little incline, and then a long downward slope. At the bottom of the hill was a short avenue which connected to another street which ran back up to Central Avenue. It was the precursor of the modern, suburban cul-de-sac. 

The Hansens’ began their marriage in a house at the bottom of the hill and kept moving up the street as the family grew. 

In winter when there was enough snow, the older kids on the block would make snow hills at the top of both streets to stop the cinder truck from coming in and ruining the sledding. The sledding was incredible. Snow was eagerly anticipated by all of the kids, and many of the parents on the block from the moment Halloween costumes were stuffed back into bags and placed in old steamer trunks in the attics. 

Every kid on the block had a flexible flyer or some other kind of sled. The minute snow flakes started to fall excitement began to build. 

On early winter afternoons Kristen would look out of the school window and watch the sooty sky praying fervently that the lovely little crystals would cling to the blades of brown grass on the playground. Every flake that melted on the tarmac basket ball court was a tragedy. "Please stick, please stick" she would urge the snow drops. She thought each flake was a friend waiting outside for her greeting. 

Every snow storm was Kristen’s secret little miracle. If she didn't pay enough attention to the gathering storm from her warm school desk it would dwindle and die. She would be responsible for its failure to turn the drab, grey world into a joyful crystalline wonderland. 

Kristen would be unable to concentrate on anything but the storm. She'd stare out of the window, watching the swirling eddies of snow. Then she'd glare at the stubborn second hand of the big IBM clock on the classroom wall. "Oh please let it keep snowing," she’d pray silently, waiting anxiously for 2:45 to arrive. 

The bell would ring and Kristen would be out of her seat like a shot. She'd gather up all her books, superstitiously believing the storm would peter out if she failed to take her work home. If she left her books at school the storm would know she wanted a snow day and would desert her. 

School was only a five minute walk from home. The trip would be magical. A hush would fall on the land when the snow began to fall. Kristen would walk through a tunnel of glistening snow flakes imagining she was on her way to her own fairy land, then throw her hands up into the air and pretend she could fly. She'd test the flakes on her tongue -- the smaller they were the better. Small, furious flakes meant a long, hard snowfall, and hopefully night sledding, which was the best sledding in the world.

By the time she got home Kristen would be out of breath and wet through to the skin. She was always the first one home. 

If the snow storm was a good one, school might be canceled. Snow days were the best holidays in the world! Odds were laid on whether on not school would be open. The optimistic would shove their home work assignments aside. Fingers would cross. Hopes would rise as the snow piled up. If the storm started early enough in the day, sleds would come out of garages. Runners would be scrubbed with wax. The kids would wait anxiously for the first pass of the snow plow. If the snow was right the whole world would change. There would be an early dinner. Snow suits and boots and hats, gloves, and mufflers would come out of the closet in a great rush. Everyone would congregate at the top of the hill and the fun would begin.

When the Hansens lived at the top of the hill all they had to do was grab their sleds off the porch, run to the street, drop belly down onto their sleds and fly. Over and over they would go careening down the street at top speed. All of the kids in the neighborhood would gather at the top of the hill in their snow gear and the festivity would begin. 

The sledding would go on for hours. Parents would join in and forget their worries for a while, laughing helplessly as they zipped down the slope on their kid's sled or flying saucer. Snow ball wars would be waged. Forts would go up. The snow flakes would dance and fly in the street lights. The sound of whirring car wheels stuck at the bottom of the hill would reassure everyone that the snow fall was significant enough to justify another half hour of fun. When it was over there would be steaming hot cocoa. 

The sky looked special at night when it was snowing. It had a fuzzy quality. It was so beautiful. Kristen thought if she could just will hard enough, it would keep snowing forever and the night would never end. But the nights and the storms did end. She knew that the storm was ending when the flakes started to fall in large, fluffy fist-fulls and felt such sorrow when the last flake landed.

The local radio station began announcing school closings at about 10 p.m. Throughout the township kids would sit glued to the radio with bated breath and crossed fingers waiting to hear if school was canceled. Bedtime was suspended. Parents knew the kids would never sleep until a decision was made. Kids would listen gleefully as the tally of closings grew. If the snow was still falling, they'd cheer when the predicted accumulation rose and groan if it was lowered. Kristen would run up the stairs every five minutes and peek outside to see if flakes were still swirling in the glow of the street lamps. 

Finally, finally, the announcement would be made. There would be a collective groan throughout the neighborhood if school was on. Home work assignments would be done badly and with a mutinous attitude. Plans were made for the holiday if school was closed. The few mothers with jobs would make hurried arrangements with baby sitters or bargain for time off if it was available. 

The poor fathers were stuck. They had to keep their noses to the grind stone. Only a major disaster would justify a father taking a breather for a little thing like a snow storm. They just had to get up an hour or so early to dig the car out of the snow so they could make it to work on time. Sons were often pulled out of bed early to help. Let them get a taste of things to come while the girls sleep in.



Kristen doesn't remember a time that she and Rita O'Leary weren't friends.Kristen's very first memories were of sunny days playing in the back yard of her first house with Rita and Rita's baby sister Jean. She remembers that no matter how hard Rita tried she shouldn't pronounce spaghetti. She called it bascetti until she was about eight years old. 

Evelyn went back to work when Kristen started first grade. There was a two hour time lag from when school let out and when Karl and Evelyn got home. At age ten, Ned was old enough to be responsible for himself. 

Mrs. O'Leary agreed to look after Elizabeth and Kristen during the gap but the arrangement never went into effect. Much to her disgust, eight year old Elizabeth became responsible for Kristen, and often Rita, until Evelyn and Karl got home.

Evelyn and Karl didn't know it, but the arrangement was a disaster. Elizabeth was having her own problems and wanted little to do with Kristen. She was an angry child and took it out on Kristen. But the Hansen pact was sacred. Tale bearers were dealt with severely when Karl and Evelyn weren't looking. Even worse, Kristen and Elizabeth now shared a bedroom. Kristen had nowhere to turn when Elizabeth's temper flared. So she kept her mouth shut and withdrew into her own little fantasy world whenever possible.

After a while Kristen became pretty good at avoiding Elizabeth and things settled into a pattern. Elizabeth had her friends and her world. Kristen had Rita. Things would have been perfect if Rita had gone to public school but the O'Leary's were Catholic and their tribe was enrolled at the nearby Parochial school. 

Kristen liked first grade okay but soon became bored, just like Ned and Elizabeth said she would. She lived for the weekends. Some Saturdays Rita and Kristen would take peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and head down the hill through the woods looking for adventure. They would make it an all day affair. They'd start out at the stream looking for tad poles and frogs and worms. Then they'd head up the hill. Rita would usually lead the way. There was an over-hang at the top of the hill where they would sit and watch cars come up North Valley Road. Sometimes rougher kids from another neighborhood would be at their spot throwing rocks at cars. Rita and Kristen were smart enough to avoid that kind of trouble. They'd amble on down the path to the corn field or head over to the Boy Scout cabin at the far end of the Forest Preserve. It’s all tract housing now.

They'd climb up onto the roof of the cabin and do what ever it is little girls do to pass time on magical Saturday afternoons. The sun would head westward. Then the dappled light in the woods would change letting them know it was time to head for home. 

Rita and Kristen had an instinct about how long they could stay out without getting into trouble. More often than not they'd end up in Kristen's back yard just as Evelyn was sticking her head out the door to call them in for supper. "Oh, there you are," Evelyn would say with relief. "I was just about to call out the Marshals." 

The time between Labor Day and Christmas always passed in a blur of anticipation. The year was reaching its crescendo. First came Mischief Night and then Halloween. Two nights of pure Hell and anxiety for the parents and heaven for the kids on the block. Mischief Night was the night before Halloween. No one knew who invented it but it was an institution in Kristen's neighborhood by the time she was old enough to crawl. All of the kids in the neighborhood would dress up in black clothing and carouse the neighborhood in search of trouble. The local police were always out in force aching to catch little heathens with bars of soap or eggs in their hands.

A week before Mischief Night the neighborhood gang would pick an afternoon to tromp through the woods carrying pillow cases and head for the corn field at the bottom of the hill. They would stuff the cases full of corn cobs and spend the next few afternoons peeling off kernels to use as ammunition during what most of the kids thought of as the best night of the year. 

Every year some budding hoodlum would come up with a new and better prank to play on a neighbor. Most of the pranks were harmless. Kids’ imaginations weren't quite as vicious as they are now. The parents kept careful rein on the fun, which went on from sun down until about 10 o'clock. Everyone knew if you got caught soaping a neighbor's window your punishment would be to wash all of their windows the weekend after Halloween. You could soap car windows but God forbid if you did any damage. That would have ended it right then and there.

The following night was Halloween. More madness. Costumes plans were deep, dark secrets. The local elementary school had a Halloween parade every year so most of the kids had two costumes: The one for school, which could be thrown together in about five minutes, and the one for the big night which had to be cool and clever and better than last year's costume. Hardly anyone wore store made costumes in those days which looked good in the package but didn't do the trick once you got them home. Once bought, they were usually discarded in disgust and handed down to someone's little brother. The real pleasure was the invention of a really unique costume. Rita and Kristen would agonize for weeks over what to be for Halloween.

Dinners were served early on Halloween night in the Hansen's neighborhood. And the minute the sun set the costumes went on. The Hansens and the O'Learys established a Halloween ritual when Kristen and Rita were about 4 years old. The Hansen kids would put on their costumes and have their pictures taken by Karl and Evelyn. Then Ned, Elizabeth and Kristen would run over to the O'Leary's, where Rita and her sisters were getting ready. More pictures would be taken. Everyone had their own huge grocery bag. The older kids were responsible for the younger ones. The kids piled out of the house in a big excited group and started making the rounds at about 6:00 p.m. 

For Kristen it was the most exciting night of the year. Every house on the block had a carved jack o' lantern on its porch. 

The moon wasn't up yet when the kids started their rounds. It was spooky in the dark spaces between the street lamps. The group, jumpy and skittish, would travel through the murky light telling stories of ghosts and hob-goblins. The air was cold and crisp and kind of smoky from smoldering piles of autumn leaves. Fallen leaves and branches crunched under foot as they walked. Dogs in the neighborhood yards picked up on the excitement and barked or bayed as the little pack of children passed by. An owl would hoot off in the woods.

The Hansens and O'Learys would meet up with other groups of kids almost immediately. Sometimes there would be as many as thirty kids on the street at a time dressed outlandish costumes traveling from house to house begging for treats. They would convene in front of a house, ring the door bell and shout "trick or treat." The door would open and the group would be ushered inside. 

The neighbors knew each other and the parents made a game identifying the kids in their costumes. It was quite an accomplishment to get through the night without being identified. Candy bars were bigger in those days. The bags filled up quickly. But the game went on for hours. 

At about the middle of the journey the kids would arrive at the spooky old mansion on the other side of the block. The owners of the mansion weren't well known. But they really got into the spirit of the evening. The driveway was well wooded and it was a spooky walk to the house. The front porch was old and sagged a bit. An old black cat sat on the rail. 

The kids always huddled together a bit closer on their way up to the house. This was the pinnacle of the evening! The moon would be high now. The wind would rustle dead leaves on the ground and in the trees. The tree branches creaked, and looked like fingers reaching out to grab the children as they passed. 

The hair on the back of their necks would rise. One or two of the kids would chicken out at this point and go home. The braver ones marched on. Some would sprint the last few yards and land on the porch hugging themselves with fright.

Once they were all gathered on the porch the oldest kid would pick up the big old door knocker and let it fall. Once, twice, thrice. Sometimes it took a while for the door to open. The kids would stand shivering with excitement on the porch. Then the door knob would turn and the door would open slowly with a long squeak. 


No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 02



Evelyn was just plain bored. Her life had fallen into a mind-numbingly dull pattern of work and Karl and kids. Just when she thought she was going to lose her mind with boredom Max turned up. He appeared at her office at noon one day offering to take her to lunch. But instead of going out to eat Max took Evelyn to a nearby motel where they caught up on old times.

Evelyn didn’t ask Max why he was back. She was just so damned happy to be with him. They talked about a lot of things but mostly Max was curious about Karl’s work. He asked a lot of questions which became more and more technical. He was surprised and pleased at the depth of Evelyn’s knowledge.

Lunch with Max became a ritual. He would leave her a note the night before telling her where they were to meet. Their love making was bliss for Evelyn. She’d been feeling old and used up. Now all of a sudden she was vibrantly alive. Talking with Max made her feel so intelligent. She told him all about Karl’s work. They discussed his projects at length. Max was quite pleased when he discovered how involved Evelyn was with Karl’s work. Karl’s company was a pioneer, making new discoveries all the time. 

Evelyn was surprised at how much Max knew about the new technologies. Of course she never mentioned Max’s re-appearance to Karl. Time passed and Max and Evelyn’s meetings fell into a regular pattern.

Chapter

It was a hot late June Saturday in 1967. Rita and Kristen went on one of their adventures. Rita was always coming up with new places to explore. Without their parents’ knowledge the two girls regularly ventured far from their suburban cul de sac on their two-wheelers. This particular day they’d left their bikes by side of the road and followed the course of a little stream for hours as it became wider and deeper and faster. Finally, it became a broad creek. There was a tree with an overhanging branch just made for swinging. Kristen and Rita were thrilled. Their clothes were already soaked so they spent the next couple of hours diving and splashing and laughing. They forgot about the time and didn’t notice there was a storm brewing until it burst over their heads, spitting out hail and huge raindrops. 

Kristen and Rita swam to a bridge where they took cover and waited out the storm. The air was full of thunder. The rain sounded like pebbles thrown against aluminum siding. The wind shrieked through the nearby woods. Cars on the bridge made a hissing splash and a low rumble as they passed. The creek became angry and swollen with rain. The storm gave no sign of abating.

Kristen was chilled through and becoming frightened. “Wwwhat are we going to do?” She complained through chattering teeth. “I’m fffreezing.”

“We have to wwwait it out.” Rita’s lips were blue with cold. “The storm’s gggotta let up soon.”

There was a bright flash followed by a loud clap of thunder, then another flash and a big bang as a nearby tree was struck by lightening.

“Tell that to whoever’s running things upstairs.” Kristen said. “Come on Rita. Do something. You got us into this.”

“Me?” Rita said indignantly. “How come I’m always the one to blame when things go wrong?”

“Because you’re the one who’s always coming up with these great ideas,” Kristen replied.

“Well, it was a great idea until a few minutes ago. We were having fun, weren’t we?”

“Yeah, until you let the storm in.” Kristen said. 

“That’s right, blame it on me. You were the one who wasn’t paying attention to the weather. That’s why it rained.”

They started up their favorite game. They pretended they had magical powers like the ability to call a storm or talk to animals or move things with their minds.

“Well you can’t expect me to do everything,” Kristen said pertly. “It’s a lot to keep track of, you know, the stream and the breeze and everything in the water. I’d like to see you do better.”

“I would, but my magic doesn’t work that way,” Rita responded. 

“Well at least you could have conjured up a couple of umbrellas,” Kristen complained.

“You know I’m best at making things disappear, not bringing things forth. That’s your territory. Besides, we didn’t need magical help. It would have been a waste. You know we’re not supposed to squander our magic,” Rita said grandly.

“Well,” Kristen said, “I think its time for us to get out and dry off. So I’m sending the storm away,” She made a grand gesture with her left hand. Rita burst out laughing. Kristen joined in. And lo and behold five minutes later the storm was over. 

“Good job!” Rita said

They swam out from under the bridge and made their watery way back to where they left their bicycles. It was very late afternoon by the time they were back in their neighborhood.

Elizabeth was on the front porch looking mean when Kristen and Rita rolled up.

“Uh oh, something’s up,” Kristen said to Rita. 

“I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes,” Rita said, knowing there was trouble when Elizabeth had that look about her. “See you tomorrow,” she said as she pedaled on towards her own home. 

“What’s got you looking so happy?” Kristen asked as she wheeled her bike over to the side porch.

“We’ve got company,” Elizabeth said somberly following Kristen to the porch.

“So? Who?”

“I don’t know. Some guy they haven’t seen in years. Mom got all excited when she saw him. She ran upstairs and dolled herself up.”

“Yuck.”

“You said it.” 

They peered through the porch window hoping to get a glimpse of the mystery guest. They saw Karl enter the living room with a tray of drinks.

“Uh oh,” Elizabeth said. “They’re drinking. Dad never drinks. Who is this guy?”

“Why’n you go in and get yourself introduced.” Kristen suggested. “Maybe they’d tell you who he is.”

“Huh un. You go.”

“Huh un, no way. What’s Dad doing bringing out the booze? I hope mom doesn’t get drunk. It’s only Thursday. If she ties one on tonight it’ll be a triple header weekend. I don’t think I can stand three days of it.”

“You got that right. I wonder what they’re gonna do about dinner. It’s past five. Dad gets sick if he doesn’t eat on time,” Elizabeth said worriedly. “This guy must really be somebody to get Dad drinking and off his meal schedule.”

“I wonder what they’re talking about,” Kristen said curiously. “Open the window Lizzy; I want to hear what they’re saying.”

“That’s eavesdropping,” Elizabeth said primly as she opened the window and stuck her head halfway into the adjacent room.

“Like you’ve never….”

“Oh shut up. Listen. Shh. They’re talking about Dad’s work. What the heck does he know about it?” 

“Who?”

“Him. The mystery man.”

On his way through the dining room Karl caught the girls peeking in the window. 

“What are you girls up to?” Karl asked with a phony scowl. “Spying and eavesdropping, huh? Well, you might as well come in and meet our guest. He’s been dying to meet you for a long time. Where’s your brother. I want Ned in on this too.”

“I don’t know,” Elizabeth said. “I haven’t seen him since this morning.” Kristen followed Elizabeth through the door into the dining room. Karl looked at Kristen askance. “What have you been up to today, puss? You look like a drowned rat.”

“Thanks a lot,” Kristen replied, stung. “I love you too, Dad.” She stuck out her chin and started to walk away but ran head first into Ned, who had just sprinted through the door. “Ouch! Cripes, Ned, why don’t you watch where you’re going?”

“Where’s the fire? Aren’t you a little late, son?” Karl asked.

“Sorry Dad,” Ned said sheepishly.

“Well, now that I’ve got the three of you together come on into the living room. There’s someone I want you to meet. Max, here’s our tribe.”

Max had on his most winning smile. Evelyn, seated next to him, put a proprietary hand on his sleeve. Karl noticed the gesture and started to feel a little uncomfortable. Why do they seem so familiar with each other, he wondered as he ushered the kids into the living room.

Karl refreshed their drinks as introductions were made. “This is Ned,” Karl said, as presenting his son. Max and Ned shook hands. 

“I can’t believe it, Karl,” Max said. “He’s as tall as you are. How old are you son? Seventeen?” 

Ned blushed. “Sixteen, sir.”

“Sir! You’re going to make an old man out of me. And who are these two lovely creatures?” he said trying to win over the girls. 

Elizabeth was pleased but Kristen was disgusted. I look like something the cat dragged in. Who’s he trying to impress?” She scowled and refused to meet Max’s eye when he tried to greet her.

“The tall one’s Elizabeth.” Evelyn said brightly. “She’s 14 already. And that’s little Kristen, always ready with a smile.”

Kristen glared at Evelyn. Why’s mom acting so weird? Who is this guy? 

Evelyn was flushed and jittery. She had two cigarettes going in the ashtray. She knew Max had something important to talk to Karl about. That’s what he’d said the last time they were together. They’d been talking about Karl’s current project and suddenly Max had become very serious. Then he said he wanted to talk to Karl. Evelyn hadn’t wanted the meeting. She was perfectly happy with the way things were. Now things were going to change. She could feel it in her bones. 

Max was never one to waste time. He opened the subject right up. “Karl, I need to talk to you about the Downing project.”

Karl was perturbed. “The Downing Project? How do you…? What do you mean?”

Evelyn felt a cold stab of fear. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so forthcoming about Karl’s projects. Somehow when she discussed them with Max she forgot they were supposed to be secret. She started to say something but thought better of it. She looked at the kids, then at her watch. “Maybe I’d better start dinner. Max, you’re staying aren’t you?” She grabbed her drink and slipped out to the kitchen.

Max watched her go. “Yes,” he said looking at Karl. “I’ll be here for a while.”

It’s surprising how intuitive kids can be. To Ned, Elizabeth and Kristen it felt like the barometer bottomed out. They looked at each other and made a bee line for the side door.

“Who is he, that’s what I want to know,” Ned said belligerently. 

“Why’s mom acting so funny? Maybe he’s her long lost lover, come to carry her away,” Kristen suggested, not seriously.

“Don’t say that,” Elizabeth said, sounding frightened. “He’s just some guy they used to know. That’s all.”

“Then how’d he know about Dad’s project?” Ned asked. “He’s not supposed to know about it. Dad’s work’s secret.”

“Maybe he’s a spy,” Kristen said excitedly, “like I heard about on TV. He’s going to sell Dad’s secrets to the enemy.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Elizabeth said, sticking her nose up in the air. “He’s probably a salesman. He’s trying to sell Dad insurance or something.”

“No he’s not. He’s a secret agent. And he has a mind probe. He’s going to steal all of dad’s secrets.”

“Oh Kristen, you’re such a child. Where do you get such ideas anyway?” Elizabeth said grandly.

“On TV.”

“Jesus. I don’t know how you can watch that stupid box all the time. You’re going to go blind from it. That’s what I read in Teen Magazine. Too much TV is bad for the eyes and makes you stupid.”

“You’re the one who’s stupid,” Kristen retorted. “All the crap you read in those teen magazines rots your mind.”

“You shouldn’t say crap. It’s a dirty word.”

“I don’t care.”

“Oh, shut up,” Ned said angrily. “I want to hear what they’re talking about.” Ned had his head stuck all the way in the side window and was listening intently. The two men were in a deep discussion. Neither one was happy about the way the way the conversation was going. At least that’s how it looked from where Ned stood. 

Karl had brought the bottle of scotch in from the kitchen. It had been full but was now almost three quarters gone. The men were arguing in low voices. Ned couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Twenty minutes passed. Ned was still straining to hear the conversation. Elizabeth sat beside him under the window. Kristen had given up and was on the glider reading her book. The smell of hamburger and onions grilling on the stove filled the air. There was a clatter of dishes in the kitchen. 

“Kristen and Elizabeth, come help me set the table,” Evelyn called. “We’re going to eat in the dining room. Ned, pack up that…, whatever your project is and take it upstairs. Use the good china, Elizabeth. And the silver. Kristen, help me bring the food to the table.” 

Evelyn was on her third drink. She was scared. She was trying desperately to remember what she’d said to Max during their lunches over the past months. God, she hoped she hadn’t compromised Karl’s position. That possibility hadn’t occurred to her when she was talking to Max. How much had she said? What were Max and Karl talking about?” She was in a fever to know what was happening between the two men.

And indeed what was happening was not good.

“What are you saying?” Karl asked harshly. “You’re saying that you’ve given my work, MY work over to your ‘Cabal’? And you stand here now asking me to join you in some..., some Goddamn plot to get the rest of my work to your fucking group of…, some committee? What are they exactly?” Karl wanted to punch Max in the face. “That’s horseshit, Max. I’m supposed to stand and smile or run laughing into the arms of these people? And you used my wife to get the information? What else did you do to my wife? Did you subvert her to the “Cause?” Karl saw the look on Max’s face and bitter understanding almost dropped him to the floor. “Or did you fuck her while you were taking notes about my projects. Jesus Christ. How long has this been going on, anyway?” Karl was having a hell of a time keeping his voice down. God help him, he didn’t want the kids to hear. He felt like a cuckolded fool. The seriousness of the situation was just starting to sink in.

Max swallowed a strangled oath. “Christ Karl, what do you take me for? I care about Evelyn. I always did. But this thing is big. I need you on board. I’ll back away from Evelyn if you want for the sake of the kids. Just listen to me. You’ll have everything you need if you play ball.”

“Why are you coming out in the open Max? Wasn’t the pillow talk enough to keep your handlers happy?”

“Shit. You don’t know what’s at stake here.”

“Sure I do. My job, my wife, my family, you bastard.”

“That’s not what I mean. There’s going to be a whole new world order.”

“Not if I can help it. I want you out of my house. Now. Fucking Christ, if I had a gun, I swear….”

“No.” Max dug his heels in. “I’m not leaving. There’s still Evelyn to think about.”

“Shit. You can take the silly bitch with you. I’m done with her,” Karl thundered. He was past caring if the kids heard. 

“You don’t mean that,” Max said, trying to calm things down. He poured more scotch into both of their glasses. “Let’s be rational about this. 

“Rational? I’ll give you rational.” Karl hauled off and punched Max in the face. “That’s about as rational as I can be at the moment.” He nursed his knuckles for a minute.

Max’s head snapped back but he always could take a punch. “Maybe I deserved that. For not being up front with you about Evelyn. But now you’ve got that out of your system can we start a new dialogue?”

“No. I have nothing to say to you. Are you going to leave?”

Actually, no. I was invited to dinner. A good fight does wonders for the appetite, doesn’t it?”

“You’re one cold son of a bitch,” Karl said, shaking his head in dismay. “Alright, if you must stay go out to the kitchen and tell Evelyn to pack a bag. She’s leaving with you after dinner.”

“She’s welcome to come with me if that’s what she wants.”

“Well, she’s not staying here, that’s for sure.” 

“What about the kids?” Max asked.

“Oh. Do you want them too? Well forget it.”

Max laughed ruefully. “I don’t want your kids, Karl,” and walked off into the kitchen.

Evelyn was trying to make order out of the mess of food and dishes she’d thrown together to make a meal. She’d done the hamburger with Campbell’s Mushroom Soup deal, but the rice had burned. The broccoli was overcooked and the tossed salad was limp and wilted. She couldn’t find the damned salad dressing and her drink was almost gone. She needed more scotch. “Find the damn salad dressing,” she snapped at Elizabeth who was just trying to help.

Max came into the kitchen and kissed Evelyn’s neck right in front of Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s jaw dropped and she stormed out of the room. “Well, that didn’t go very well,” Max said as he leaned into Evelyn’s back. “He’s madder’n a hornet. How do you feel about traveling with me for a while? Until Karl’s had a chance to cool off and look at things more rationally.”

“Are you kidding? Karl’s not going to cool off. That man can hold a grudge better’n anyone I’ve ever known.” Evelyn whispered, not wanting the kids to hear. “He’s stubborn as a mule” she added. “Jesus, Max. Why didn’t you warn me…., Let me know what you were up to. I could have helped. Maybe things would have gone better. You kind of blind sided us with all this.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t plan to do it this way. Things happened which were out of my control. I had to act faster than I wanted to. I thought I’d take a shot at getting Karl on board.”

“On board of what? Who are you working for? Why couldn’t you tell me up front, instead of using me like you did?”

“I’m sorry. I really am. I’ll explain it all later. Let’s get through dinner. Then you’ll have to pack some things. I want to be out of here by eight.”

”Eight o’clock?” Evelyn was dizzy. Her entire world had just been turned upside down and she had to be ready to leave in two hours? “What’ll I tell the kids? Oh, Jesus, I don’t think I can do this.”

“I don’t see you have any choice,” Max said coldly. “Karl made his position clear. And you said it yourself he’s a stubborn son of a bitch. Anyway, could you stay after all this? It would be torture for you, Karl and the kids. A clean break is best.”

“Oh God, I don’t know. I guess you’re right. I feel like a ping pong ball. Do you care about me at all Max? Or was I just means to an end?”

“Of course I care,” Max said solemnly. “As best I can. Trust me.”

“Oh Jesus,” Evelyn started crying. “Why did it have to come down to this? I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you have kept things the way they were? And where are we going?’

“I can’t explain it all here and now. There isn’t time. You have to look to the kids. Christ. If they’ve heard even half of what’s been said here today….” 

“Oh, God, maybe they should come with us. I can’t just leave them.”

“They can’t come with us. Maybe later.”

“Really?” Evelyn’s heart was in her throat. So much for boredom and middle-age angst she thought. Be careful what you wish for. She felt more alive than she had in years. I can do this. I really can. Thank God Max is willing to take me with him. I wonder where we’re going to end up.

After Elizabeth stormed out of the kitchen the three kids had run for cover and ended up in the old tree fort. They’d heard enough to scare the wits out of them. They were too charged up, however, to understand the full ramifications of what had just transpired inside the house.

“Kristen, you must be a mind reader or something,” Ned said. “You were right on both counts. He’s her lover and a spy. This is unbelievable. Who would ever believe Mom had a lover? Who the hell is he, anyway? I never heard about him before.”

“I did,” Kristin said. “He was best man at their wedding. They used to play cards together and stuff when Mom and Dad lived in Philadelphia.”

“Some friend he turned out to be,” Elizabeth said angrily. “Christ, I can’t believe Mom was sneaking around behind Dad’s back. I wonder when they did it. And where?” Elizabeth got kind of a rush at the thought of her mother having sex on the side with a handsome stranger. And a spy, no less. The kids at school will never believe it. Wait’ll I tell Katie and Marjorie. 




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 02



Mom’s really going to leave, Kristen thought uncomfortably. After all the yelling and screaming and threats of divorce, suddenly Mom’s going to up and leave. Just like that. She felt guilty – a secret fantasy which she never really meant was coming true. How many nights when they were fighting did I fall asleep fantasizing about mom and dad getting a divorce? And then there’s the dream. But in my dream Mom always took Ned and Elizabeth with her. I sure hope that doesn’t happen. All of a sudden Kristen realized how much she relied on Ned and Elizabeth for love and support in the clinches.

“It sounds like Mom’s really going to go with Max,” Kristen piped in. “Don’t let her take any of us, okay? I have this horrible feeling she’s going to try to take you guys with her.”

“Forget that,” Ned said manfully. “No way am I going anywhere with them.” Ned was furiously angry at Evelyn’s betrayal and the man behind it. Dad’s going to need all the help he can get from us until this blows over. He may not even have a job once the company finds out what Mom did.”

“Oh, God, I didn’t even think of that,” Elizabeth said despairingly. “What the Hell was Mom thinking? I’d like to wring her neck!”

“She wasn’t thinking, that’s the problem,” Ned said unhappily. “She never thinks. She just does what she wants. I can’t believe I used to feel sorry for her when she’d get so sad and sappy drunk. Before starting a fight, that is. And all this time she was acting like a slut and giving away Dad’s secrets.”

Kristen started to say something but was interrupted by Karl’s voice calling them in to dinner.

“Come on kids, dinner!” Karl shouted to them from below the graceful, wide arms of the spruce tree. One by one they dropped off the lower branches and followed Karl through the yard, past the water-kissed peonies and hydrangeas, into the dining room from the side porch door.

Kristen had expected Karl to look small and beaten by the afternoon’s revelations. But he didn’t. He had a low, cool mad on. He looked like he’d take Max out given one more provocation. Dinner was eaten in silence. The men were coldly polite to each other. Evelyn was tear-streaked and a bit worse for wear. She started to say something a couple of times but was stifled by Karl’s thundercloud mien. That night Karl became a hero in Kristen’s eyes. Dinner was over in about 15 minutes. 

“Kids, why don’t you help your mother clean up the kitchen. I’ll be in my shop if anyone needs me.” Karl had to get away from scene. He didn’t think he could bear seeing the kids say goodbye to Evelyn. He had nothing to say to Evelyn. It’d had all been said while the kids were in the tree fort. He didn’t want to say good bye. He just wanted her to go quickly so he could start to pick up the pieces of his life.

“God damn it,” he swore to the basement walls. He felt like throwing something through the window. But what good would that do. He bottled up his hurt and rage and set about finishing a bookcase he was making for the girls’ room. He lost himself in the project for a while. It was good therapy. So soothing to have to focus on a good piece of oak, and find its strengths and weaknesses, its beauties and its flaws. Cut it at just the right angle to fit the design. Then sand it down smooth to bring out the grain. Match it up so the two pieces look almost like one. Then put on a satiny finish. He worked long into the night making it the best bookshelf he’d ever seen.

Upstairs, Evelyn put the food away and cleaned up the dishes. Then Evelyn sat them all down at the kitchen table. “I don’t know what to say to you guys. I don’t want to leave you, you know that don’t you? Kristen nodded through tears. Elizabeth stuck her chin out and said “you told Dad often enough that you wanted a divorce. You’re getting what you wanted. So you don’t have to pretend to be so goddamn sorry. That being said, Elizabeth turned on her heal and went upstairs to her bedroom. She didn’t let the tears flow until she was in bed with the covers over her head. There she stayed, rocking and crying for the rest of the night.”

Ned blew up as Elizabeth made her exit. “You’re a tramp and a spy.”

Evelyn’s hand shot up and she slapped the boy across the face without even thinking. Ned didn’t even blink. 

“I hate you.” he yelled.

“Oh God, Ned, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. Please….”

“If you’re going why don’t you just go? I hope I never see you again.

“Oh Ned, you don’t mean it. I’m sorry. I know this is hard. But can’t you just…? She looked over to Kristen, hoping to get some help. 

Kristen threw herself into Evelyn’s arms and cried “I don’t care what you did. I don’t want you to go away where we’ll never be able to see you again. Why don’t you go to the Phillips or to Aunt Martha’s or something until Dad cools off? You don’t have to go off with that man.”

“No, Kristen. That just won’t work. Sometimes things are so broken you just can’t fix them. That’s been the problem with me and your Dad’s marriage for a long time. We just didn’t have the heart to break up the family. Now that this has happened, I think it’s probably for the best.

Ned started crying then. He and Kristen and Evelyn hugged each other for a long while. “But where are you going to be? How are we going to reach you if there’s an emergency or something?” Kristen said plaintively. 

‘I don’t know yet. But I’ll stay in touch by phone and I’ll let you know as soon as I have my new address.”

“Are you going to have to leave the country?” Kristen asked.

“I just don’t know. I’m sorry. This wasn’t something I planned.”

Evelyn knocked on Elizabeth’s door on her way to her bedroom. “Elizabeth, can we talk for a minute?” she asked, stepping into the room.

Elizabeth was curled up on her bed, face to the wall. What do you want?” she asked angrily.

“Look at me, will you please?”

Elizabeth rolled over and sat up on the bed. “Okay, I’m looking at you.”

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Elizabeth was tall for her age and lanky. She had her mother’s whiskey brown eyes and the Nordic grace of her grandmother. “You’re almost all grown up. And so angry. You’re a lot like me.”

“I’m not like you. I hate you.”

“Don’t say that! You are. Please. I want you to look after Kristen. She’s so sensitive. Try not to fight with her so much.”

“What do you know about it, anyway? I always had to look after Kristen. You were too busy or drunk, or fighting with dad. Kristen can look after herself.”

“I’m sorry. I know you’ll look after her.”

“You’re not sorry. So stop lying. If you’re leaving, go.”

“Okay. I’ll be in touch as soon as things settle down a bit.”

“Whatever.”

Evelyn left with a sigh. She went into the bedroom she’d shared with Karl for five years and started picking out items to take with her, where ever she might end up. She remembered a fifth of bourbon she’d stashed in the back of the closet and went searching for it. For luck, she said as she tipped the bottle and let fiery courage course through her.

She pulled out her battered old suitcase and opened it. It smelled of excitement and adventure. Evelyn’s spirits started to lift a little. She dumped her underwear drawer into the suitcase over the bottle of bourbon. Then she picked out a pair of dress shoes and a pair for casual wear. She packed her seven best dresses, two suits and as many blouses as she could. She had to sit on the damn thing to close it. She grabbed Karl’s smaller suitcase and loaded it up with curlers and bobby pin, make up, accessories, shampoo, tooth paste, tooth brush and a roll of toilet paper – just in case. She glanced at herself in the full length mirror on the side of the closet as she picked up her bags. Not too bad for a middle-aged house wife, she thought to herself as she dragged the luggage along the hall and down the stairs.

Max was sitting on the couch nursing a shot of vodka. “You look nice. Are you ready to go?”

“Almost. I need my purse and my carton of cigarettes. They’re in the kitchen.” She looked at Max for a second. “Thanks.”

Max was puzzled. “For what.”

“As I was walking down the stairs I had a sudden fear that you’d left without me.”

“You must think I’m a cold-hearted son of a bitch,” Max said with a dry smile.

“I don’t know what to think. You used me to get to Karl.”

“I don’t think we should have this conversation right now, Evelyn. Let’s just get going.”

“Okay. I’ll get my stuff and say goodbye to Karl while you take the suitcase out.”

“Do you really want to see Karl?”

“No. I guess not.”

Max picked up the suitcase and carted it to his big, grey Oldsmobile. It was a warm, humid evening. The sun was sinking on the horizon and storm clouds were gathering in the west. Max held the passenger door open for Evelyn when she got to the car and she slid into the front seat. The door slammed with a sound of finality. 

Max liked driving. He enjoyed the feel of power and control at his fingertips. He turned the key and the engine roared into life. “Roll down the window if you’re going to smoke,” he said to Evelyn.

Evelyn sat as far away from Max as possible and lit a cigarette with trembling fingers. “Where are we going, Max? I don’t have a passport.”

“I know that. We’ll get you one later if you need it. Don’t worry. We’re not going to Moscow.”

That broke the ice. Evelyn laughed shortly. “Well, thank God for small favors. I don’t like snow. I was worried when I saw you snag that bottle of vodka.”

“I thought you might want a little relaxation on the ride. I’ve got a couple of glasses, too.”

Evelyn smiled. “You know Max, this could be the beginning of a good friendship,” she quipped as she settled in for an evening of adventure. She poured them both healthy shots of vodka and started to sing along with the radio.”

Max relaxed for the first time in hours. He didn’t get Karl. That was too bad. But they could use Evelyn. He was satisfied with the way things had turned out.

*******

Karl spent the night in his work shop. After he finished the bookshelf he went to work repairing a couple of chairs Ned had broken by leaning back too far. He finished up at about dawn and headed upstairs to get ready for the day. He saw the mess Evelyn left behind and noticed she’d made off with his best suit case. Figures.

He shed his clothes in the bathroom and stepped into the shower. It was only then that he let himself think of what had transpired the night before. He was angry and hurt by Evelyn’s betrayal but what was worse was the breach of security surrounding his projects. I’m going to have to face Hurst with this. Christ in a barrel! I’m gonna get fired! Oh sweet Jesus, what am I going to do? He wanted to break something. And the kids! How much did they know? What can I say to them? It’s not fair. Now they’re going to have to carry this great big secret. Oh, God, I wish I were dead. That final though shocked him back to reality. Hell, no! I’m not like my mother, or my father. I’ll get through this God damn it. I swear I will.

He stepped out of the tub feeling mean. I’ll show them. The company needs me on the projects. They won’t fire me. But things’ll change again. I wonder…. I’d better talk to Jim before I do anything else.

That decided he dressed and marched downstairs to make a special breakfast for his kids.

Kristen followed into the kitchen sleepy eyed dragging her bathrobe belt behind her. Felix, their ginger tabby scrunched down, wiggled his butt, and pounced on it. Kristen giggled.

“That’s a cheery sound,” Karl said, smiling. “You’re up early, Merry Sunshine.”

Kristen rubbed her eyes and yawned. “It’s easy to get up when you don’t want to sleep.”

“You didn’t sleep, Kitten? Because of what happened last night?”

Kristen looked up at him. “I’m sorry daddy it’s all my fault. She started to cry.”

“What do you mean?”

“I wished for it. If you wish for something three times it comes true. I’m sorry. I didn’t really want you and mom to get a divorce. I just wished it sometimes when you were fighting. And now it’s come true. Except she didn’t’ take them away.”

“What are you talking about?” Karl was totally confused by his daughters’ soggy tirade. “She didn’t take who away.”

“Ned and Lizzy. But in my dream she takes all of us. That’s why I didn’t want to sleep last night, because of the dream.”

“Slow down child. You’re going too fast for me. I’m old and feeble,” Karl said, trying not to laugh.

Kristen looked at Karl with age-old eyes. My wish. If you wish something three times it comes true. When you and mom yelled about getting divorce I wished it happened. And that Mom took Ned and Lizzy and I stayed with you. I know I wished it at least three times.”

“But that doesn’t mean you caused it honey. Wishes don’t work like that.”

“Sometimes they do.”

“Trust me, kitten. Your wish was not what caused your mother to leave. Your mom and I had trouble getting along long before you were even born. Some people are just not meant to live together. But we tried to stay together because we both loved you guys so much. Maybe that was wrong. I don’t know. Do you feel a little better now?” 

“Yes. But daddy, will you promise me something?”

“I can try. What is it?”

“I don’t want to go with her. She’s going to come back, and try to take all three of us. You can’t let that happen.”

“I don’t think she will. But why wouldn’t you want to go with her.”

“I dreamed about it. She comes back and there’s a terrible fight. And there’s a war and tidal waves and volcanoes and everything gets ruined. She takes us to a green mountain that’s protected with electric fences.

You and Rita and the Phillips and the Playschool people are left in a world that’s all desert except for a small slimy evil pond filled with poisonous fish.”

“That’s quite a nightmare! Karl said somberly. Is that what you dreamed last night?”

“No. I’ve always dreamed it.”

“Always?”

“Uh huh. So you see, if she comes back and wants to take us I won’t go with her. No one can make me. If she takes me I’ll run away.”

Karl was disturbed by the intensity of Kristen’s emotion. “Okay honey. It’s all right. No one’s going to take you away from me. I give you my solemn word.”

“God, that’s a relief!” 

“What did you say?” Karl said sternly. “That’s three cents in the manners jar from your allowance, young lady.”

“Oh daddy,” Kristen laughed, happy to hear a bit of parental normality. “Are you going to make Swedish pancakes? Let me do a couple, okay?”

“Alright.”

As they worked together, the morning brightened. It was a sparkling clear day. Karl’s lawn was especially lush this spring. Everything bloomed at once this time of year. It was the last week of school. Day Camp next week Kristen thought excitedly. I can’t wait. This year’ll be the best. And the last.

At seven o’clock Ned and Elizabeth’s alarm clocks jangled them awake. The air was full of the smell of pancakes. It didn’t really cheer them up but it got them going. Elizabeth beat Ned to the bathroom so Ned came downstairs in his pajamas. At fifteen he was a rangy kid. Long and lean, he’d grown into his muscles early. That came from his mother’s side of the family. Solid Aryan stock Max might say, Karl thought sourly. But he had his father’s face stamped right there up front. Karl had never thought of himself as good looking. He realized with a shock that Ned was becoming a right handsome lad. If he’d ever get that scowl off his face.

Kristen was still busy frying the pancakes. Karl sat down at the table with Ned. “Did you get any sleep son?” Karl asked. For once in his life he wanted to lay everything out. He didn’t want to sneak around the issues. He wanted all three children to know exactly what happened and the trouble which might be heading their way. 

“Not much.” He scowled and stared at the grain in the wooden table. 

“Me either,” Karl commiserated. “But I fixed those chairs you demolished last winter.”

“Oh for Christ sake,” Ned started.

Kristen chirped “three cents in the manners jar.”

“Shut up,” Ned snapped.

“Calm down, Ned, I was teasing you. Trying to fix that long face.”

“Jesus, Dad, I’m not a baby.”

“I’m sorry son. I know you’re upset.”

“Upset. Yeah, I guess. Are we going to read in the news that mom went off with her spy lover, or is everything going to be shoved under the rug. Like usual. What do I tell my friends, huh? My mother ran away with her boyfriend. Oh, no. Dad threw the silly bitch out when he found out she was screwing a spy.”

“That’s enough out you young man.” Karl said roughly. “I won’t have you talking to me like that. Not in this house. And don’t call you mother a bitch.”

“Why not,” Ned snapped. You did.” 

“I did and I’m sorry for it. She didn’t deserve that”

“Yes she did.” Ned stood up and was about to storm out of the room.

“Don’t contradict me. Sit down and eat your breakfast. Kristen, let’s have a couple of plates of pancakes over here. We’re going to start without Elizabeth. She seems to be taking her time in the bathroom this morning.”

“Okay.” Kristen was fascinated by the interplay between Karl and Ned. She turned off the stove and brought a full platter of pancakes to the table. Then she set the table for four placing syrup and butter in the middle of the table. “Oh, Dad, you can’t have pancakes,” Kristen said, stricken, “it’s not on your menu.” 

“I’ll live dangerously today.”

Elizabeth came in all in a rush. She was turning on the charm this morning. She was only fourteen and not supposed to wear make-up, but her cheeks were suspiciously rosy and she had on a touch of bright red lipstick. Ned turned a blind eye. He didn’t want to rock the boat. Elizabeth’s mood could turn in an instant. Karl wanted this first breakfast to be a pleasant and healing event. They could talk afterwards. Hell, they could talk all day. What an idea! He’d call in sick and take the kids to French Creek. They could fish and swim and have a barbecue.

“Elizabeth, you look ravishing,” Karl said with a straight face. “Doesn’t she Ned?”

Ned was reading a magazine while forking bites of food into his mouth. There was a three second pause. No one could get deeper into a book faster than Ned, Kristen thought. He looked up. “Huh, what?” the typical Ned response. Kristen started to giggle. Elizabeth grinned.

“What’s everyone so happy about?” Ned said sourly.

“I have an idea,” Karl said. “Why don’t we all play hooky and go to French Creek.

That got Ned’s attention. “Heck yes! Can we take the canoe?”

“Yeah. And the fishing poles and the picnic basket. Do you girls know how to make macaroni salad? We’ll pick up hot dogs and marshmallows on the way.” The family was off and running with plans for the day’s adventure. Karl almost forgot to call the office. Putting the canoe on the roof of the car was always a little tricky but they were ready to go in no time flat. 

The back door banged shut and they were off.

Karl’s instincts were good. It was just what the family needed to heel and form a new bond. The long drive out was delightful. No cigarette smoke. No quarreling kids – Elizabeth and Kristen were unusually friendly towards each other. They bounced around chattering and singing in the back seat. They sounded really happy together.

Karl caught Ned studying his driving maneuvers. He’s sixteen already. I’m going to have to teach him to drive. Oh God. “It’s really not difficult, once you get used to it,” Karl said. “I’ll start taking you out soon so you can get the feel of driving.”

“Oh,” Ned said nonchalantly, “I’m not in that much of a hurry.”

Yeah, right Karl thought smiling to himself.

When they got to the park they divided up. Kristen and Elizabeth wanted to swim. They ferried the picnic stuff and towels and blanket to a good, sunny spot with a picnic table. Karl and Ned carted the canoe and its gear over to the landing. It was a magical, fun-filled day, and the best thing Karl could have done under the circumstances. They didn’t get home until it was almost dark. Kristen and Ned were sound asleep in the back seat and Elizabeth in the front when Karl pulled the car into the driveway. He wished he could stop time.




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 02



But the sudden silence when the engine stopped running woke the kids up. They clambered out of the car, leaving sand and swimming gear for another day. With a wrench, Karl realized he was now responsible for all of the decisions about meals, and snacks, and school work and play time and fights, and everything else that goes with single parenthood. God help me, I hope I’m up to the task. And tomorrow I have to face the music with Hurst. The peace he’d found in the day of play rapidly receded as the weight of what was to come descended.

“What do you kids want for dinner?”

“Peanut butter and jelly, and ice cream sandwiches,” Kristen said, laughing as she raced into the house. “No, leftover Swedish pancakes,” Elizabeth called.

“Sloppy Joes” Ned suggested, “They’re easy.”

“Why don’t I see what’s in the ‘fridge?” Karl said and another family task put off the discussion they were going to have to have. But everyone felt the mood changing. They knew they’d have to talk over dinner. Elizabeth set the table and Kristen put on the coffee. Ned made sloppy Joes and the girls put a salad together. Then they settled down for their meal. It was Ned’s turn to say grace.

Karl cleared his throat as they started passing food around. “We’re going to be in for some stormy seas over the next few months. I don’t want to pussy-foot around what happed last night. But I don’t know how much you all know about you mother and Max.”

The three kids started to talk at once. Karl put his hand up. “There’s going to be a new rule around here. One person talks at a time. If you want to say something, put your hand up. That way every one gets heard. I’m gonna let Ned go first, cause he’s oldest. Go ahead son, what happened last night, from your perspective.”

“Well, your old friend Max -- I didn’t know you had a friend named Max – came over. From what I gathered, he looked mom up behind your back a while ago. I guess he liked her or something. They got to talking about your work and Max sold your secrets to some committee. He wasn’t getting enough information from mom so he tried to sub…, um, subvert you. You told him to go to hell and take mom with him. He looked Karl in the eye and said “You did the right thing.” Then he shut his mouth.

“Except for a couple of minor points, that sums it up pretty well I think,” Karl said. “You didn’t happen to have your ear to the wall did you?”

Ned just shrugged.

“What about you, princess,” he asked Elizabeth? “What was your take on the situation?”

“Pretty much what Ned said, I guess. I didn’t hear anything else. Is Max a communist? Is mom going to live in Russia?”

“No, Lizzy. Max is definitely not a communist.”

“Uh, Dad? Elizabeth asked, “are you okay. I mean, mom didn’t break your heart or anything, did she. She wasn’t the love of your life, was she?”

Jesus. Kids! No, my heart’s not broken. I’m angry and hurt. But I’m really more worried about how this might effect my job. May as well get all the bad news on the table. “I wasn’t supposed to talk to anyone, even your mother about my work. Tomorrow I’m going to have to tell my boss about this. I might get fired.”

“They won’t fire you dad, you know too much,” Ned pronounced.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re working on all that new technology. They don’t have anyone like you. They won’t fire you. They wouldn’t be able to finish their projects and they’d lose their contacts. And if you left, you’d be taking your brain with you.”

Out of the mouth of babes. What a kid! Canny and knowledgeable. 

Chapter

The next morning the kids went off to school and Karl headed down to work with a heavy heart. He met up with Jim Philips as he was entering the building. Jim sensed that something was wrong.

“We missed you at work yesterday,” he said.

“Yeah? Sorry. I played hooky. Took the kids to French Creek. We had a great time.” Karl hesitated. Jim had provided a sympathetic ear over the years. Karl wasn’t sure he wanted to dump this mess at Jim’s feet.”

“What’s wrong?” Jim asked. Jim had a sort of sixth sense when it came to the Hansen’s domestic troubles. 

“Evelyn’s gone.”

“What do you mean gone? Missing?”

“No. It’s worse than that.” Karl decided to confide in Jim one more time. “Do you have a few minutes? I need some advice.”

“Sure. Let’s get some coffee.”

Karl began talking as they walked to the company cafeteria. They found a quiet corner and Karl told Jim the whole story. At the end Jim shook his head ruefully and whistled. I knew things were bad between you and Evelyn but I never thought…. Jesus! How are the kids taking it?”

“The kids are great. We talked it out last night after our day at French Creek. After all they’ve been through, I’m surprised at how resilient they are. It’s my job I’m most worried about. I had no business talking about my projects with Evelyn. Boy did that blow up in my face!”

“Let me get this straight,” Jim said. “Max – I never met him did I?”

“No.”

“Anyway, Max wanted you to go to work for his group, the Cabal.”

“That’s what it boiled down to.”

“You had no idea he was sniffing around Evelyn?”

“None. I’d like to kill the cagy son of a bitch.”

“But you think he and Evelyn had an affair before you met them.”

“It sure looks that way.”

“God damn. What a bastard. Where did you meet him anyway?”

“I met him when I was working in Philly. I don’t really remember how we met…. Oh, yes I do. I met him at a lunch meeting when I first started with the company. I mentioned I was looking for a place to live and he told me about the co-op house where he was living.

“You mean he worked here?” Jim asked intently.

“No. He knew someone at the table. I’m not sure who.”

“Go on.”

“Well, that’s about it. 

“You and Evelyn never talked about Max?”

“Huh un. There are a lot of things we never talked about.”

“Do you have any idea where he and Evelyn are now?”

“No.”

“It’s pretty important, Karl,” Jim said urgently. “He’s got to be found.”

“What are you saying?”

“Let’s go talk to Hurst.”

“Wait a minute. Why are you coming in on this? Not that I don’t appreciate your help.”

“You gotta know this is bigger than a breach of company security, don’t you. Christ, haven’t you figured it out yet?”

“What are you talking about?” Karl asked, mystified.

“God, you’re such a babe in the woods.” Jim said half-amused.

“I resent that,” Karl said, starting to get angry.

“Stow it. You can get angry later. All this time did you really think we were working for a private company?”

“Sure, what else?”

“All the money and unending support for projects that take decades to fully develop? All the secrecy?”

“Well,” Karl said feeling stupid, “when you put it that way, I guess I must have missed something along the way.”

“Yeah. I’d say so – big time.”

“I’ve been working for the government all this time and didn’t know it?”

“Bingo.”

“Shit. Well hell, why didn’t they come out and say so?”

“They have a need to know policy. As long as you have your head in the projects and are producing they’re happy having you think you work for in the private sector. But this thing’s out of control now. We suspected there was a leak somewhere. We didn’t know where.”

“So who am I working for,” Karl asked angrily. “How do I know I’m not working for people worse than Max’s committee.”

“Trust me, you’re not.”

“How can I when all this has been kept from me for so long.”

“Hey. This is me you’re talking to. Your old pal Jim. Remember me? We’ve been friends for a long time. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“No, but….

“Come on,” said Jim. “Let’s go talk to Hurst.”

“So he can kick me out on my ass?”

“Do you want out?”

“Hell no.”

“I didn’t think so.”

They made their way through the narrow, windowless halls which some sadistic designer had illuminated with florescent lights and painted a putrid mauve color. No artwork graced the passageway. The ugliness sent a subliminal message to employees to hurry back to their offices and not linger in the halls. Time is money. Karl was dreading the meeting more with each step. 

Hurst’s secretary, Kelly, primped a bit and winked at Jim as they approached her desk.” 



“Good morning Mr. Philips she said, smiling. I’m sorry, Mr. Hurst is tied up most of today. It really would be better if you made an appointment later in the week.”

“This isn’t something that can wait, dear,” Jim said smoothly. “Buzz Dave, will you please. Tell him it’s urgent. I have Hansen with me. I’m sure he can spare the time.” He gave the woman his most winning smile.

“Well, alright. I’ll see if he has a few minutes for you.” She pushed the intercom button. “Mr. Hurst, Mr. Philips and Mr. Hansen are here to see you. Mr. Philips says it’s urgent.”

“Urgent?” Hurst’s voice squawked through the box. “What’s it about?”

The secretary looked quizzically at Jim. Jim leaned over to the intercom. “Dave? It’s about that plumbing problem we were talking about a few days ago. I think we’ve solved it. But it needs your attention.”

“Oh, is that right? Well, come on in.”

The tidy little secretary ushered them into Hurst’s office. Karl felt like he was in some sort of bad dream, or maybe a play in where he didn’t know his lines.

“Jim, Karl, good to see you, now what’s this about?”

“Well, sir,” Jim started out, “I guess you might say there’s good news and there’s bad news.” He paused.

“What’s the bad news?”

Jim decided to put it all out on the table at once. “We were right. Remember what we were talking about the other day? There has been a breach of security. But the good news is now we know its source.”

Hurst caught on quickly. “I take it Karl’s the source. That is bad news.” He scowled.

Jim and Karl were standing uncomfortably in front of Hurst’s large mahogany desk. 

“Sit down, sit down,” Hurst pointed in the direction of a couple of chairs. “No point in standing. This is going to take a while.”

“It’s not as bad as it could have been sir,” Jim said quickly, coming to his friend’s aid. “And it’s been plugged. No danger of further leaks. Now what we need to do is assess the damage.” He looked at Karl. “Why don’t you tell Dick what happened.”

Jim and Karl took seats and Karl started to explain. As in the past, he found Hurst a surprisingly empathetic listener. Hurst let Karl speak, interjecting only a question or two. The morning sun filtered in the wide glass window on the left of Hurst’s desk filling the room with early summer sunshine. Karl spoke haltingly embarrassed by the facts he had to disclose. He didn’t try to paint a pretty picture of his domestic life with Evelyn. It was a sorry tale to his ears. He felt like a cuckolded fool.

There was a silence in the room when he finished. Hurst sat, leaning far back in his swivel chair, his fingers pressed together by his mouth. He thought long and hard before speaking. Karl felt like he was waiting to be smitten by the sword of Damocles . 

Hurst looked at Jim. “Like you said, it’s bad, but not as bad as it could have been. At least we know now where the leak was. We can backtrack and determine what has been disclosed.” He stopped talking for a minute. Looking piercingly at Karl he asked “you didn’t talk to Evelyn about your work in Dayton? Not at all? Ever?”

“No,” Karl was happy to be able assure Hurst on that point. “Absolutely. Not ever. She wasn’t curious about trips, thank God. She was threatened by them thinking we might end up living in Dayton, so she stuck her head in the sand in that respect. She’s like that. If she’s scared of something she pretends it doesn’t exist.”

“Well, that’s one good thing. And now we’ve identified Max as the agent. We can put a flag out on him. We’ll know what to if he surfaces. But he’s obviously going to be well protected.”

“You knew about this ‘Cabal?’ Karl asked, surprised.

“Oh yes. We’ve known about them for a long time. Now, you’re going to have to be thoroughly debriefed. That’s going to take a few days. Jim, I want you in on this. Put a team together. I’m sorry, Karl, it’s not going to be very pleasant, but we have to know as much as possible what you’ve told Evelyn about your work over the years.”

“Jesus,” Karl said uncomfortably. “What are you talking about here? I’ve already told you as much as I remember.” 

“Karl,” Jim said gently, “there’s a way of going about things to obtain information you might not know you have.”

“Interrogation, you mean,” Karl said harshly. “Christ, you guys are as bad as Max’s group.”

“No,” Jim said, “we’re not. You have no idea. Our techniques are fairly benign. We’re your friends.”

“So you say. God damn it, I’ve known you for so many years and I don’t think I know you at all.” Karl was miserable. His whole world was turning upside down.

“Just be glad you’re not in Evelyn’s shoes,” Hurst said.

“Oh, Jesus. I hadn’t even thought about that. Do you think they…? They won’t kill her will they?” Karl wanted to cry. He hadn’t even considered what Evelyn might be going through. Poor damn woman. All she wanted was a little adventure. In retrospect he decided he had the better end of the deal.

“I don’t think they’ll kill her,” Hurst said. I’m sure they’ll be able to make use of her,”

“Christ.” He didn’t want to think about it. At least not now. “What about the kids? They’ve been through a lot already. They’re going to be scared to death if I disappear for a few days.”

“They can stay at my place. They get along well with my kids. I’ll call Wanda before we leave and ask her to pick them up after school.”

“Does Wanda know about your double life.”

“She knows a little. She knows I’m not just a company man – that there are other aspects to my job.”

“You’ve got a keeper there, Jim. I wish Evelyn was a bit more like her.”

“I know. She’s a good kid.”

“How long is this going to take?” Karl asked. “And what happens next?”

Jim and Hurst looked at each other. “Three days, maybe four,” Hurst said. “It depends. Afterwards? I do see any reason why you shouldn’t continue with the work your doing now. Your check’s going to start coming from Uncle Sam though, now that you know about us.”

“What agency exactly am I going to be working for?” 

“It doesn’t really have a name,” Jim said.

So, we’re pretty much finished here, aren’t we?” Hurst asked. “Jim, where do you think the debriefing should take place? Princeton?”

“Yeah,” Jim replied. “That makes sense. It's close to home. I’ll get a team together. We can be there in time for dinner.” Jim stood up. Karl followed suit, feeling awkward and out of place. He stuck out his right hand for Hurst to shake. 

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am this happened,” he said as Hurst clasped his hand. “You’re taking it rather well. I thought I’d be out of a job.”

“No. Shit happens. At least that’s what I’ve learned over the years. Goddamned women. Your work is very important, Karl. Don’t ever forget that. I’ll see you in a few days.”

Karl preceded Jim out of the office. “That went better than I expected. I really thought he was going to hand me my head on a block.”

“No. Your head is much too valuable,” Jim said with a laugh. Let’s get some lunch.”

After lunch the two men stopped off at Jim’s office before heading out to Princeton. Jim made some calls to coordinate the debriefing in Princeton. That done he said, “last thing: I have to call Wanda to let her know what’s up and tell her to pick up your kids after school. Are there any messages you want to give to the kids?”

“Yeah. Let me think. They’re gonna have to leave a lot of cat food out for Felix. And water. They know how to lock up the house. Couldn’t we stop off at the house before we go to Princeton. I’d really rather tell them myself.”

“Huh unh. No. We’ve got to get a move on. It would have been better if you’d called me the minute Evelyn left. It’s easier when the facts are fresh. We’ve lost a lot of time already.”

“I didn’t know that,” Karl said defensively. “The kids needed me anyway. Maybe my priorities are a little different than yours.” 

“Don’t get testy on me,” Jim said easily. “I understand. But for now you’ve got to do things our way. Alright buddy?”

Karl sighed in resignation. “Alright. I made my decision when Max asked me to join the Cabal. But I’m getting tired of being pushed.”

“You’re going to have to put up with it a while longer. That’s just the way things are.”

“Goddamn Evelyn, anyway. Let’s get the show on the road.”

They made the trip to Princeton in Jim’s new convertible. It was a pleasant journey considering the circumstances. Jim and Karl chatted companionably on the way about inconsequential matters. Mostly they talked about the kids – how fast they were growing up and what colleges they were looking at for the boys. 

“Does Jim, junior know what you do – I mean what you really do in the company?” 

“Are you kidding? Of course not. It’s not that he’s not trust worthy. I just want him to have as normal a childhood as possible. What ever normal is. My childhood certainly wasn’t normal. Was yours?”

“Sure. If screwed up is normal. I know what you mean though. That’s why Evelyn and I stayed together for so long – to try to give the kids a normal childhood. But good God, with the way we fought each other and Evelyn’s drinking habits, I guess we struck out there. Then Max has to waltz in with his fucking Cabal, no pun intended, and thoroughly screw things up. I don’t know. Maybe it’s for the best. Poor little Kristen thought it was all her fault. She said she’d wished Evelyn and I would get a divorce three times and that made it happen. Then she had this terrible nightmare about Evelyn taking them away and the world coming to an end with atomic bombs and tidal waves. I didn’t realize how traumatized she was by our fights. What kind of a father does that make me? She made me promise I wouldn’t let Evelyn take her if she comes back.”

“I hope you can keep that promise,” Jim said worriedly.

“What do you mean?” Karl asked 

“What if Evelyn goes for custody? Have you given it any thought?” Jim replied.

“I haven’t had time to take a breath, much less think about the future. You think she’ll try?”

“I don’t know. Anything’s possible. You ought to be thinking about it anyway.”

“Yeah.” Karl gazed out the window at the green rolling hills.  It seemed like yesterday they’d been white with snow. What were they going to do about Christmas this year? And next? “Time sure flies.”

“Thinking about Christmas?”

“How’d you know that?” Karl asked, surprised by his friend’s sensitivity.

“It’s not hard to follow your thoughts. I was wondering the same thing. You’ll keep up the tradition, won’t you?”

“I guess. So much else has changed. I think it’d be hard on the kids if we didn’t’ make the effort. It’s going to be hard though between thoughts of Evelyn and memories of my mother. Jesus, we carry a lot of baggage around with us don’t we?”

“You got that right. We’re almost there now,” Jim said as he made a right hand turn off the main high way. They passed through the quaint little college town without slowing down. “There it is,” Jim pointed to a beautiful stone mansion on the side of a hill about two miles outside of town. He turned into the gravel driveway and pulled up to the house. There were a couple of other nondescript cars in parked in the circular drive. “Looks like we’re the last to arrive.”

“How bad is this going to be?” Karl asked Jim with some trepidation,” as he got out of the car.

“Not too bad. A cake walk. You’ll see. You’re doing this voluntarily. Not hiding anything – at least I presume…”

“No. Of course I’m not hiding anything. I’ve already told you as much as I remember.”

“Well, memory’s a funny thing. Sometimes it needs some help.” He unlocked the massive oak front door and ushered Karl inside.




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 02



“You’ve done this a few times, I presume. You surprise me. I thought I knew you after all the years we worked together. When did you go into this line of work?”

“Oh. I worked with the Brits after the war. Me and a few other guys in my unit. We were tracking Nazi war criminals. I was enlisted by Hurst when I got back from Germany in ’48. Then there were a few developments on the domestic front and technology became the focal point of the group.”

Jim led the way through the foyer and into the elegant library. “Would you like a drink?” he asked while pouring himself a healthy shot of bourbon from a crystal decanter. 

“Yeah., I’ll take some of what you’re pouring,” Karl said. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, “sometimes I feel like I missed out on a lot not being in the War.”

“Don’t be sorry you missed the military. 

“I feel like I’ve been living with my head up my ass.”

“No. Your time has come. What you’re working on is vital. So don’t screw it up, okay?” Jim said half joking as he handed Karl his drink.

“I’m not the only one working on it.” Karl sniffed the bourbon, then drank deeply, welcoming the fiery taste and the warmth which spread through his body as the liquor worked its magic.

“No” Jim said. But there aren’t very many like you. 

“Thank God for small favors.”

Jim laughed as he savored the drink. “Are you hungry? We should eat before we start. Let’s find out what’s cooking.” He stood and walked to the door indicating Karl should follow him. 

The kitchen was at the back of the house. As they walked down the hall Karl got a glimpse of the stately and well furnished living room, parlor and dining room. The Kitchen was a chef’s fantasy land. Karl wondered what the house was normally used for – certainly not debriefing middle-aged engineers.

There was an in-house chef. Guess the Company boys don’t like to cook. Got better ways of getting their fingers dirty, Karl thought meanly. He realized he was pretty scared. Fear always brought out his mean streak. But the aroma in the room was inviting. Swedish meatballs? No. It couldn’t be. Close though. The chef had prepared an elegant stroganoff. 

Dinner was served in the dining room and the debriefing team, consisting of Jim, two other agents, Mason and Anderson, and a stenographer, assembled for the first time. Names were not offered. 

“So, what exactly am I in for?” Karl asked as dinner commenced.

“We use a variety of techniques,” Jim said. You don’t have any allergies do you?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Well, first you’ll be given a mild sedative and a drug we jokingly call truth serum.’

“You’re kidding.”

“No. It’s actually very pleasant.”

“Yeah, right,” Karl said unhappily.

“Then we have a nice long talk. We’ll simply help you reconstruct the past and remember everything you and Evelyn talked about over the past few years. We’ll use hypnosis as well. It’ll be relatively painless because you’re working with us.”

“How long will it take?”

“As long as necessary,” Jim said grimly. “Of course you’ll be on a regular sleep schedule.”

“Christ. Don’t forget about my diabetes. You don’t want me to go into shock.”

“We’ve got it covered. Don’t worry. Mason’s an MD. We’ll pull you out if we run into any problems.”

The group finished dinner and adjourned to the library where the first session was to be held. Karl felt sick and regretted eating. I’m not cut out for this he thought miserably as he felt the needle slip into his vein. 

The debriefing went fast and was very productive. It took three days of intensive interrogation, going over and over the events of the past few years to ascertain everything Karl had divulged to Evelyn.

Afterwards Karl had very little memory of the long hours spent in the Princeton safe house. He was glad to be home with the kids. God, he’d missed them. They were all over him when he walked in the door. They wanted to know what happened and where he’d been. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, it’s classified,” was all he could say.

“But you’re alright?” Kristen asked, worriedly. I was afraid you were never coming back.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Kitten,” Karl said, giving her a big hug. “We’re all in this together. 

“Do you still have a job?” Ned asked.

“Yes. You were right on target when you said they needed me. I had to sort a few things out with them. That’s why I was gone for so long.

Things settled down in the Hansen mansion after Karl’s return from Princeton. The kids bugged him about what happened while he was in Princeton but Karl remained reticent about the whole affair. The kids adjusted well to Evelyn’s absence. Except Ned was taciturn and bringing home failing grades. Elizabeth was often angry ands sullen and Kristen kept as low a profile as possible. Karl had sworn them to secrecy about Max and Evelyn’s intrigue. They complied for the most part. 

During the first couple of months after Evelyn left house hold chores went basically unattended. Karl was swamped at work and stayed late most evenings. He was preoccupied and sometimes short with the kids. 

Karl took Ned aside the day he brought home his first semester report card. He was in the 11th and his grades were only average. Karl talked to Ned long into the evening about the importance of education and opened up a bit about his problems at work. Karl was surprised at how receptive his teenage son was to a little extra interest and encouragement. After that Karl began to come home on time and pay more attention to the kids and the house hold. Things began to improve. Ned began to realize he wouldn’t make it to college if he didn’t shape up. He was fascinated by theoretical physics and he and his father began discussing problems after work.

Ned was impressed with the acuity of Ned’s mind. Seemingly overnight Ned started pulling in straight A’s. The kids began taking turns shopping, cleaning house and cooking and things began to run more smoothly.

Halloween came and went and Christmas loomed. Karl and the kids discussed what to do about the holiday. They decided to keep up the family tradition. Karl was working closely with Jim Phillips who was relieved the Hansens had been able to maintain normality during their troubles.

Evelyn and Max seemed to have disappeared off the face of the planet. Karl didn’t know it but the Company was making great efforts to locate the pair. Evelyn’s name was rarely mentioned at home. If the kids missed her they sure didn’t show Karl thought.

Rita and Kristen had become even closer friends during the past summer and fall. Despite Karl’s censure, Kristen had told Rita the story behind Evelyn’s disappearance. Rita didn’t believe the spy part which was well and good. 

That fall Rita had finally won her parents’ consent to transfer to public school. The two girls were in seventh grade together. As Christmas approached they decided it was time for another adventure. 

“Let’s take the train in to Philly and do some Christmas shopping Rita said brazenly early on a Saturday morning three weeks before Christmas.”

“By ourselves?” Kristen was excited by the idea.

“Sure. We’ve been there with our parents often enough. We know our way around. How much money do you have saved?”

“$15.00.” Kristen had been hording her allowance all fall in anticipation of Christmas. “How about you?”

”$22.00.”

Kristen was impressed. “I don’t know how you do it.” Thirty-seven dollars between them. It sounded like a fortune.

“So, are you in?” Rita pressed.

“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Rita told her parents she was going shopping with the Hansens. Kristen told Karl she was going shopping with Rita and her sisters. Both girls managed to wrangle a couple more dollars from their unsuspecting parents. 

“This’s great,” Rita said as they caught the 11:00 express to center city. The train was crowded. They found seats in the smoking car and watched the vista pass as the train chugged out of the station.

“Guess what I’ve got,” Kristen said with an air of mystery. She pulled out a pack of Tarryton cigarettes left behind by Evelyn. 

Rita laughed. “You’re intrepid,” she said using her favorite adjective. “Let’s pretend we’re spies crossing the iron curtain,” Kristen suggested as she lit a cigarette. She choked and coughed for a minute. She’d only tried smoking once before. Rita was a little more experienced. Her older sisters both smoked. She lit up with a surprising air of experience for such a little girl.

They both thought they were the height of fashion as they sat puffing and dreaming up a scenario where an exotic stranger with a foreign accent tried to trap them on their way across the Berlin Wall.

“Where do you think your mom is?” Rita asked.

“I don’t know.” She didn’t want to talk about it. She got a sick feeling at the pit of her stomach every time she thought of her mother on the run with a foreign agent. She changed the subject. “Do you thing we’ll have a white Christmas?” Kristen asked as she struggled with the nausea and dizziness caused by the unfamiliar nicotine.

“I hope so,” Rita replied. We haven’t had any sledding yet. Or any snow days.”

A handsome conductor came through the car and punched their tickets. “Off for a little Christmas shopping ladies?” he asked giving them a knowing wink.

“Ladies!” Rita said happily. He must think we’re at least 17.

“At least,” Kristen agreed. I’ll bet he’s on our side,” she said returning to their game of make believe. He’s too handsome to be a bad guy. On the on the other hand, that guy over there,” she whispered, indicating a shady looking middle aged passenger, “ is from Moscow. He’s watching us she realized with concern. He must be a pervert. She stubbed out her cigarette “Come on, Rita” she said in a low voice, “let’s change cars. I don’t like the look of that guy.”

Rita glanced at him and agreed. “He’s not a very good spy” she said dismissively not wanting to reveal her fear.

“I don’t think he’s a spy,” Kristen said as they walked through the car, swaying with the motion of the train. “I think he’s a pervert. Is he following us?”

Rita peered back into the car as she struggled to pull open the heavy door leading to the next car. “No,” she said, relieved. “He’s reading his paper. Let’s go to the back of the train. I want to get as far away from him as possible.

They made their way through the train as it sped through the suburbs on its way to Philadelphia. They found seats in the end car and tried to enjoy the rest of the trip. There was no sign of the man when they disembarked in center city. “He must have gotten off at an earlier stop” Kristen said, relieved.

The girls stopped for lunch at a diner inside the big, sprawling train station. They watched ice skaters at the adjacent pavilion as they munched grilled cheese sandwiches and sipped coca-colas.

“Let’s go skating,” Kristen suggested as they slipped out of the diner, neatly pocketing their check. This was one of their little secrets. They’d discovered last summer that few shop keepers suspect innocent little 11 year olds of having larcenous hearts. Rita was good at making things disappear. It was part of her magic.

“No.” Rita censured the idea. “It’s too expensive. Let’s go look at the Christmas displays.”

So they left the station and walked into the clear cold December day.

The city was festive – completely decked out for the season. Rita smiled as she gazed at Wanamaker’s windows. “I think we should pay for our acquisitions today,” referring to shoplifting excursions they’d made in the past.

Kristen had been thinking the same thing. “they say you shouldn’t use magic for personal gain. If you do trouble comes to you threefold.” She couldn’t help thinking about the day Evelyn left. Kristen had used magic to blow away the thunder storm. At least that’s what she thought happened.

Having reached their decision the girls wandered over to Gimble’s to begin their shopping. The day passed quickly. Before the knew it, it was way past time to head home. They hurried to the train station carrying their purchases. The barely caught the 5:00 back to Paoli.

“Whew, what was close,” Rita said as they caught their breath on the platform. They didn’t notice the ugly man from the morning train who had tracked their progress through the city during the day and followed them onto the train. 

It was way past dark when the train pulled into the Paoli. The girls rushed home both fearing their cover stories had been blown. But their luck held. The O’Learys and Karl hadn’t compared notes as to the whereabouts of their wayward daughters. Each thought the other had simply gotten caught up in Christmas shopping madness. When Kristen slipped in the back door Karl only raised his head from his project long enough to tell Kristen her dinner was being kept warm for her in the oven, and that Elizabeth and Ned had gone to a tree trimming party at Lizzy’s friend, Katie’s house. 

“Too bad you’re so late coming back. You’re missing the party. Jeez,” he said,” pointing at Kristen’s armful of packages. I hope you left something in the stores for us to buy next week.” Next Saturday the family was making it’s annual foray into the Reading Terminal Market. Like usual they were going to go Christmas shopping after the main event.

“Don’t be silly, Dad. I barely made a dent in my shopping, Kristen said, relieved her little adventure hadn’t been discovered. “I don’t mind about the party. There’s never anyone interesting at their parties anyway.”

“Well, enjoy your dinner. I have to finish this up tonight,” Karl said referring to the pile of papers spread out on the dining room table.”

“Okay.” 

A week later the family made its annual Christmas foray into the city. Somehow the trip seemed flat without Evelyn. Karl knew it was finally sinking home with the kids that Evelyn wasn’t coming back. He thought it was strange they hadn’t had as much as a post card from her in over six months. He wondered if she was dead.  Maybe she’d become a liability to Max once her line in to the Company was severed. He prayed he was wrong. Nah, he assured himself. They’re probably celebrating Christmas at some swanky ski resort in Switzerland or having a holiday in Buenos Ares. Evelyn loves the ocean. He tried not to think about her in the past tense.

They cut the trip short, hurrying through their Christmas shopping at Wanamakers and Gimbels. Kristen was glad she and Rita had made their trip the previous week. 

“I thought you said you had more Christmas shopping to do,” Karl said questioningly when the family met up at the car to head home.”

“I lied. I was hoping to wrangle a few extra bucks from you. Thought maybe I’d buy myself a present this year. But I decided that wouldn’t be in keeping with the spirit of the season.” Kristen was poking gentle fun at her father, who always referred to the season as $mas or Bucksmas. 

When they arrived at home they decided to dispel the remnants of their dower mood by putting up the Christmas tree and beginning food preparation for the Christmas Eve party after dinner. Ned got stuck with the hassle of sorting out and testing the Christmas tree lights. Karl and Lizzy did the dirty work of skinning and de-boning the salt herring while Kristen looked for Evelyn’s recipe box. Karl broke out a bottle of red wine and let the kids have each have a watered-down glass. Rita rang the door bell right in the middle of things and was invited to join in the fun.

She was excited. “They say it’s gonna snow tonight, big time,” she said cheerfully as she accepted a cookie from Kristen. She wrinkled her nose in disgust when Lizzy offered her a piece of fillet salt herring. “Oh gross. That’s disgusting Lizzy,” she laughed. “Look, even Felix won’t touch that stuff. I pity you if you’re going to school smelling like on Monday. That is if there is school.” Rita chattered away as was her habit. “Wow, look at that tree. Gosh Ned, you’re doing a great job. Can I help?’ she asked flirtatiously. She was a precocious thirteen year old and had recently discovered that boys in general and Ned in particular were very interesting creatures. “Aren’t you going to offer me a glass of wine?”

“Uh, I guess so,” Ned hadn’t yet figured out how to handle Rita’s little crush. He liked her fine, but gosh, she was four years younger than him. She was awful cute, though. Ned, too, had developed quite an interest in the opposite sex. He looked towards Karl for help. Karl shook his head.

“I can’t send you home smelling of booze, Rita, sorry,” Karl said, amused at the two kids’ teenage awkwardness. But we have some cider if you want.

“Coke would be better,” Rita said, disappointed. Then she walked over to the tree. “Here Ned, let me help you with the ornaments. Gosh your tree’s pretty. We always have that sad, silver tinsel thing. I’m sure glad you guys invited me to the party this year. It’s gonna be a lot of fun.”

Kristen was disgusted by her friend’s capriciousness. Rita was changing. Kristen didn’t like it. She’d had enough changes for one year. She wanted to say something witty or stinging but her tongue got all twisted up. She retreated into the kitchen with her face like a thunder cloud.

“What’s wrong with you?” Lizzy asked. As far as she was concerned the evening was going great. She’d been able to spend some real time with Karl. She loved it when Karl had his attention focused on her instead of work or boring Ned.

“Nothing,” Kristen said sourly. Karl raised an eyebrow at Kristen’s sour tone.

“Really, it’s nothing. Just, Rita can be so sappy. And over Ned!”

Lizzy laughed. “Your jealous. Ha! Kristen’s jealous, Kristen’s jealous,” she taunted. Lizzy had a way of punching Kristen’s buttons. Kristen tried to slap Lizzy in the face but Lizzy was too fast for her. She continued to taunt Kristen as she danced around the room.

“Kristen was really seeing red. She looked towards her father for help. He just shook his head. “Don’t be so sensitive. Lizzy wouldn’t tease if she didn’t know she could get a rise out of you.

“Oh, forget it,” Kristen said angrily and left the kitchen in a huff. The living room was no better. Rita and Ned were laughing and flirting as they decorated the Swiss pine. Kristen’s face was as hot as the fire which was cracking cheerfully in the fireplace. She decided to take a walk to cool off. No one would notice her anyway. Sometimes Kristen was so lonely she felt like the only person in the world.

She slipped out the front door without a backward glance. It had started snowing hard just about the time Rita had arrived at the house. The world had been transformed to a magic fairy land in minutes.

Kristen stared transfixed at the snowflakes as they danced and whirled around the street light. There was a muffled hush in the air. It was so still Kristen could hear her heart beat. Her breath came out as a frosty mist in the darkness. It was so beautiful. Kristen’s anger began to cool. She’d walked off without her coat but she didn’t feel cold at all. She decided to march into Paoli and look at the town Christmas tree in the snow.

She walked alone in her snowy fairy land for about a half hour. The town was beautiful. About fifteen minutes into her march she began to sing Christmas carols. Her mood lifted and she felt like a little kid again. She could almost hear Santa’s sleigh off in the distance.

She arrived home chilled and glowing from the walk and slipped in the side door. Surprisingly, no one seemed to have missed her. Karl and Lizzy had joined in decorating the tree. Kristen walked into the kitchen. Her loneliness returned, full force. She poured herself a real tall glass of wine, wondering if it would help. It used to help Evelyn, she realized. She chugged it down, surprised by the musty, biting taste and fiery warmth it brought to her face and guts. 




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 02



Rita walked into the room just as she put her glass down. “Where the heck were you? You’re all wet. Is it snowing?”

“Yeah,”

“Is that wine? Pour me some,” Rita insisted. “Let’s celebrate.” And suddenly everything was alright again. Rita and Kristen got drunk together on a glass each. They added wine to the water bottle to cover their naughtiness.

“Wow. I’m dizzy. This’s better’n a roller coaster,” Kristen giggled. “Let’s go out and play in the snow.”

“Good idea. I think I need a little cold air.” Rita felt mildly nauseas but was still enjoying the unexpected exhilaration.

“Dad,” Kristen called out, trying not to giggle or slur. “It’s snowing. Rita and I are going out to play.”

Karl glanced at the clock. Almost 8 o’clock, but it was Saturday night. “Alright girls. Don’t get into any trouble.” After they left, Karl went into the kitchen for another glass of wine. He was no connoisseur, but this stuff was lousy. No kick. He gulped down the contents of his glass. Then poured himself a glass of some good brandy he had in reserve for nights like this. Nothing better in the world, he thought happily as he settled to admire the Christmas tree and bask in the glow of the crackling fire. 

Ned and Lizzy had moved on from the tree to the television. I can’t understand what’s so great about the idiot box. Give me a good book any day, Karl thought as he sipped from his glass. Meanwhile, outside, Rita and Kristen were having a grand time: high from wine and the snow storm it was a night full of Christmas magic.

“Make it snow harder, Kristen. I haven’t done my homework. I don’t want to go to school on Monday.” Weather was one of Kristen’s magical strong points. That, and precognition. Both girls could fly. Rita was good at disappearing, moving things, making things disappear and mental telepathy.

That’s what the two girls had decreed two years ago when they had started that particular game of pretend. It was amazing how often coincidence made the fantasy seem real. “I think that falls into the realm of personal gain,” Kristen replied, half seriously.

“You’d be doing it for me; not for you. So it’s okay”

That was splitting hairs since two uninterrupted days of sledding and a vacation from school were surely personal gain. But this was make-believe so they could get away with it. Kristen concentrated on the force of the storm. She watched the flakes dance in the street lights and focused on the wind. She imagined the flakes falling more and more quickly and the wind pick up. She imagined the radio announcing school closings in the morning.

“Okay, I’ve done what I can.”

“Great. Now what do you want to do?” The wind was icy cold and the flakes, still steady were hard little crystals of ice. Magical assistance aside it was proving to be a healthy snowstorm. 

“Let’s fly.” Kristen said, taking off running up the hill in the direction of Rita’s house. At the top of the hill they adjusted themselves for their descent. Closing their eyes and letting their arms steam behind them they rushed helter skelter down the long hill, past Rita’s house, past the homes of the other children and collapsed in a pile of laughter at the bottom. 

“That was great. What a flight!” Kristen said when their laughter subsided. 

“Yeah. Look at it snow, Kristen. By George, you’ve done it again!” As if on command the wind had picked up and the flakes were falling fast and furiously. “No school Monday.” Rita predicted. She looked at her watch. “Oh gosh, look at the time. My dad’s gonna kill me.” What time do you want to start sledding tomorrow.

“You won’t get grounded for being out late?”

“Nah,” Rita said with more aplomb than she felt. The effects of the wine were starting to wear off and she was starting to feel sick. “I’ll use my cloak of invisibility to slip inside. Then I’ll go right to bed. If anyone asks I’ll act affronted and say I got home on time and went to the attic to do my homework, but no one noticed. They’ll believe me.

“I hope you’re right.”

“Anyway, I’ll go to early Mass and call you as soon as I get home.” One of the benefits of living within walking distance of church for Rita was that she could go to whatever Sunday service she wanted. Just so long as she went. She’d tried skipping Mass one Sunday last fall but Father McLaughten had ratted on her. 

“We’ll get there first. Goodnight.” Kristen called to Rita’s back which was disappearing into the white whirly snowy night. And then Kristen was off, running full out, slipping and sliding through the rapidly accumulating snow towards home.” The wine had worn off but she was still exhilarated. Snowstorms at Christmas were just about the best thing in the world. She felt like the planet had arranged the night just for her. She willed the snow to keep falling and falling as she slipped on her invisibility cloak and headed home. She slipped by Lizzy and Ned, who were glued to the tube, careful that they didn’t get a whiff of the wine on her breath. Karl was pondering a problem from work in the dining room and had his back to her as she slipped by.

She headed straight to bed exhausted, yet still exhilarated from the snow storm. She pretended to be asleep when Lizzy came in and turned on the light to undress and set her air. It was Lizzy’s nightly ritual. Lizzy hated her hair and spent hours every night and much of her weekly allowance trying to make it do what she wanted it to do. And it never did. That was part of why Lizzy was so angry. After she set her hair she’d crawl into bed and read with the light on until she felt sleepy. God how Kristen longed for her own room.

Just one more years she thought as she lay in bed waiting for sleep to carry her away to a new adventure. I can’t wait ‘til Ned goes to college. Karl had promised Kristen she could take over Ned’s room the day Ned left. One time she’d been so desperate to get away from Lizzy’s temper she packed a suitcase and moved into the car. That lasted all of about three hours. She’d even tried moving into the attic. That lasted a week. The nest of wasps in the back window had driven her back down stairs. 

Finally, finally, Lizzy turned out the light. Blessed darkness and Kristen was able to relax. She slipped off to sleep with a smile thinking about Christmas and sledding. 

It didn’t stop snowing until late the next morning. They got almost a foot of dry, powdery sledding snow. Rita called Kristen at 8:00 and said with glee “I didn’t even have to go to Mass. Good going. They snow plow just went by and the hill’s perfect. No one’s there yet.”

Kristen barely stopped long enough to brush her teeth. She’d been awake since six wondering how early she could get away with calling the O’Learys. She threw on long johns, two pairs of socks a sweater and woolen slacks. She stopped long enough to find her coat and a candle nub to wax the runners of her sled. She was out the back door in ten minutes flat. The rest of the family was sound asleep. She didn’t have to leave a note. They knew where she’d be. In fact, they'd probably all be joining her in an hour or so. She hauled her flexible flyer out of the garage, waxed its runners and hurried to the top of the hill.

The wind had died down over night but snow was still falling from the leaden sky. The world was a study in black and white with jewel-like crystals of ice twinkle here and there. The only sound was the whisper of the snow as it kissed the ground and the swish of the runners as Kristen pulled the sled along by its white rope handle. Kristen lifted her face to the sky and stuck out her tongue to catch snowflakes as she walked. Thank you, thank you, thank you , thank you she thought. Please, no negative consequences. I did it for Rita. She added. A little bit of superstition to top off faith never hurt she’d decided long ago.

Her breath added mist to the snowy panorama as she trudged into the wind up the hill to Rita’s house. The snow plow had been through a couple of hours ago, but the cinder truck hadn’t been through yet to ruin the sledding conditions. Ideal sledding conditions, Kristen thought happily. 

Rita was waiting on her front porch with her sled when Kristen arrived, her face wet and icy cold from the driving snow.

“It’s about time,” Rita said. 

“Sorry. I had to get dressed first. Didn’t mean to keep you waiting. What do you think of my handiwork?” Kristen asked from the street below opening her arms wide to indicate the vista before them.

“It’s perfect. And we’re first.” 

Rita jumped off the porch dragging her sled behind her. It was the same make and model as Kristen’s. Long and sleek with stainless steel runners. A top of the line flexible flyer. Most of the kids on the block had one.

“Race you down,” Rita said as she met Kristen at the end of her driveway. They belly flopped on to their sleds at the same time and were off. They flew down the hill on the hard-packed snow at break-neck speed laughing all the way down. Kristen had got the jump on Rita when they started but Rita was better at maneuvering. The race was close but Rita was going too fast when she hit the corner at the bottom of the hill and ended up going straight into the woods. Kristen had used a little more caution. She took the turn expertly and ended up halfway to the street parallel to theirs. 

Kristen and Rita got about a half hour of unhindered sledding in before the rest of the neighborhood gang began to trickle in. “Ned and Lizzy were among the first to arrive. Then came Rita’s brother and little sister. By ten the hill was crowded. A lot a parents joined in the fun. It was a sledding day beyond compare. The storm hovered over Southeastern Pennsylvania until dusk. 

At bedtime Karl broke the news he’d been keeping to himself since the mail arrived. Evelyn had finally broken her silence by sending a package of presents for the kids with a letter to him from an attorney. Evelyn wanted to have a visit with the kids during the holiday. The return address on the letter was a post office box in Southern Virginia. There was no mention of Evelyn and Max’s whereabouts in the letter. It was terse and demanding. When it first arrived he wanted to burn it, or hit something, anything. Instead he’d poured himself a cup of coffee and went downstairs to his shop to pound some nails. He was working on a vanity for Elizabeth. He’d gotten hold of some nice oak and was ready to attach the kidney shaped top to the legs he’d sanded and finished so lovingly. Why this, why now. It’s the damn Christmas jinx. I wish she’d stay away. She’ll ruin Christmas. Karl sighed as he sipped his coffee. At least he’d made a joyous tradition for the kids to pass on. I hope Evelyn doesn’t blow it all to hell. I wonder what she’s been up to. She was probably de-briefed even more thoroughly than I was. And not as gently, God help her. I wonder if she’s still with Max. At least I know she’s alive. I was afraid they’d kill her after they squeezed out all the information she had.

Which is exactly what they had done. 

Chapter

After Evelyn and Max left the Hanson Mansion last June Max had driven them down to southwestern Pennsylvania. It was a lovely drive that time of year but neither Evelyn nor Max paid any attention to the scenery. Evelyn got drunk and passed out during the trip. Max was lost in thought and drove by rote memory. It was a long, hot drive to the well-hidden enclave not far from the West Virginia border. Evelyn awoke naked from her drunken stupid in a cold, nasty little room. It had no windows or toilet. It was just four walls, one of them mirrored.

“Where are you, you double-dealing son of a bitch. Horror was creeping into her soul as she realized what might be about to transpire. At least I’m not drugged or handcuffed she thought. That was something. “God damn it, she shouted, at least give me a cigarette.” She wanted a smoke more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. There was no response from the other side of the mirror. She tried to remain calm. Think, she ordered herself. 

Where the hell is Max. She started to pace. 

Bright as she was Evelyn had always been a concrete thinker – the kind of person who, if put in a room with a locked door might not think to check to see if the window was locked. She’d been great at putting pieces of the puzzles Karl brought home from work together. But she’d never been terribly inventive. She’d often watched in awe as Karl Jerry-rigged some damn machine or another. Clocks, pianos, cars, plumbing, electricity. Later she’d seen him come up with design changes for main frame computers off the cuff that transformed small ideas into radical advances in technology. He even did it in his sleep. God, I wish Karl was here.

The silence on the other side of the wall was starting to wear on her nerves. She started to scream invective at the walls. It seemed like she screamed for hours. After a while her screams became whimpers and then she fell asleep on the floor.

She awoke to the sound of the steel grate opening. A plate of horrible looking food was shoved into her cell.

“Hey,” she yelled to closing grate. “Hey, stop. I want to talk to you. I need a cigarette. Please. Talk to me.”

Silence.

“Shit.” Evelyn sat down on the steel bed and looked at the food. It looked surprisingly savory. Well, that’s something, anyway. Decent food. How long is this going to go on?  The food made her very sleepy. Her last thought before she collapsed in a corner of the cell was how could I have been so stupid.

Max and his partner had been taking turns observing her in the cell. They entered the room as soon as she fell asleep. He looked coldly at her crumpled, befouled torso. Whatever feelings he had for the woman had been cordoned off in a very distant place in his soul. He picked her up and carried her to the debriefing room, wrinkling his nose at the smell of urine emanating from her soiled body. I’ll never get used to it, he thought with distaste. But it was all part of the job. He didn’t bother to clean her up before strapping her into the chair. That was part of the process. He and his partner would now set about making Evelyn feel like the lowest sort of animal. Using a combination of drugs, sleep deprivation, reward and punishment they quickly extracted every bit of information she had about Karl’s projects.

They were thorough and not very gentle. Evelyn didn’t hold up well under the interrogation. When it was finally over she was a shell of her former self.

It doesn’t matter, Max thought callously when he was given the order to dispose of her. Orders were orders. SOP interrogation orders. Empty the mind and dispose of the waste. Sometimes they turned agents to their side. That’s what Evelyn had been expecting. But without Karl, Evelyn was worthless to the Cabal. 

After the debriefing and analysis of the data, Max took her far into the mountains of West Virginia. She was so out of it they didn’t bother to tie her up. When Max got to the location he had in mind he stopped the car, made sure they were alone. Then he opened the passenger’s side door. Evelyn almost fell out onto the ground. He grabbed her roughly and carried her to the edge of the cliff, shot her in the head, and pushed her into the ravine. Mercy killing, he told himself. But he felt a rush of power as he watched her body twist on the way down. That’s done. Now for Karl….” He started to make plans in his head as he walked back to the car. 

The Cabal was falling behind in the technology race. They had an agenda to meet. It’d just been damned bad luck that they hadn’t recognized Karl’s genus when he first surfaced. All that time lost. And the results of the new technologies were appearing everywhere. 

Citizens of the world Max thought, you have no idea what you’re in for. There’s gonna be a new world order and I’m going to be on top of it.

Max didn’t take action with regard to Karl immediately. He’d had other things to take care of. In mid-November he put his plan forward to his superiors. 

“It’ll be simple. We grab Karl and the kids. Keep the kids safe and happy as long as Karl’s work goes well. Karl lives for those children. He won’t let anything happen to them. The plan was approved and the letter was sent and now it was Christmas Eve.

Chapter

Karl didn’t get a very happy response when he told the kids Evelyn would be at the Christmas Eve party. “Big deal, she sent some presents,” Lizzy said angrily. “Maybe we should give her the “Mother of the Year” award.

“I don’t want her here. We don’t hear from her for six months and now, because it’s Christmas we’re supposed to jump for joy at the chance of seeing her. I don’t think so. She wants something.”

That was Karl’s take on it too but he didn’t want to say anything to further alienate the kids from their mother. He shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe we should take some time to think this over, Not make any hasty decisions. If we refuse her she may turn around and ask for custody.”

“Could she do that?” Kristen asked worriedly. She remembered her dream where Evelyn took all three of them away and the world came to an end. “Even after abandoning us? I mean, isn’t that grounds for, you know, divorce?”

“Maybe,” Karl said unhappily. “But that wouldn’t mean she wouldn’t be able to see you or even get custody. It depends upon a lot of things.”

“But Christmas?” Lizzy chimed in. “She’ll ruin eveything.” The party was going to be bigger this year. Katie and her parents were invited, as was Rita.

“I don’t know, Lizzy,” Karl said. It might be easier with other people around. It might not be so bad,” he lied.

“Yeah. Well how are we supposed to explain her six months absence.” Ned said belligerently.

Arguing wasn’t going to get them anywhere Karl realized. “I only said we should think it over. It’s getting late now. Time to got to bed.” he said firmly.

Besides, he wanted to show the letter to Philips and ask his advice. He was pretty sure what Phillips would say. Goddamn Evelyn to Hell, he thought as he sat in the living room sipping scotch and staring into the fire. What a beautiful tree he thought. He noticed the kids had show-placed a lot of the nicest, oldest ornaments. They’d taken special care with the decorations this year. The lights were perfectly geometrical and they had paid special attention to the crèche and the foil icicles. The fire hissed and crackled, shedding its warm glow throughout the room and reflecting off the shiny orbs on the tree. Karl found himself missing Evelyn for the first time in months. Christmas had been the only time they’d ever loved each other. He was angry about the coolness of her approach to him. He suspected Max had everything to do with it. He got a sudden chill. I hope she’s all right. I’d hate for something to happen to her. After all, she’s still the kids’ mother. We’re going to have to make some sort of arrangement.

He sat thinking until it was almost dawn. Then somewhat the worse for drink, he dragged himself off to bed to catch a couple hours of sleep before going to work. 

He felt awful when he arose at 8:30. He’d overslept and had an rotten hangover. He thought about having a bit of the hair of the dog but he’d never taken a drink in the morning. He was too afraid he’d end up like his father to be much of a drinker. And drinking was anathema to diabetics. It made it impossible to maintain a normal sugar count, and increased the likelihood side effects. 

His anger at Evelyn returned as he re-red the letter before putting it in his briefcase. He fumed as he maneuvered the curvy roads down into the valley towards work.

He looked for Phillips as soon as he got to work. He didn’t ever bother to take off his grey over coat or black rubber boots before hitting the coffee machine and heading to Jim’s office.




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 03



Christmas melted into New Years along with the snow which had kept them happily occupied for almost two weeks. New Years Eve dawned with grey ominous clouds, but it was too warm to snow. "I guess it means school on Monday Lizzy said soberly to Kristen. Most of the sparkle of the season had disappeared with the snow.

"Yeah, winter," Kristen said sourly. Winter was the most hated part of the year. "I wonder what happened to that fake cop," Kristen said while she and Lizzy were getting ready for the Phillip's New Years Eve party.

"Mr. Phillips probably killed him and dumped him into the river," Lizzy said dramatically. "I can't believe you and Rita went into the city alone. You're lucky dad didn't kill you for that stunt."

"Might as well have. I'm grounded for a month. It just better not snow. I'm not staying in if there's sledding." Kristen had been given a blistering lecture by Karl on Christmas Day about her and Rita's "unthinking, reckless" trip into the city. He'd told Rita's parents about the trip and they weren't aloud to see each other except a school for the term of their commitment. Secretly Kristen thought she'd gotten off pretty easy. Thank God I'm too big for a spanking.

The glue of a common enemy stuck and, as a result of the Christmas Eve events the Hansen family had drawn even closer together. Years later upon reflection it seemed to Karl that the world's spin began to speed up after that Christmas. Before he knew it Ned was off to college leaving Rita behind with tears in her eyes. Then Lizzy entered nursing school and the Hansen mansion was almost empty. Kristen had her choice of bedrooms now. In only two more years Kristen would be flying out of the nest. 

And memories of Evelyn were like ashes in the wind when the holidays came around. No one would say her name. It wasn't as if she never existed. It was like a superstition; trouble would come if your thoughts turned to Evelyn. But she was always there in the back of everyone's mind. 

One day, for no particular reason, Karl showed Kristen the little room he had constructed on the sly in the basement after the eventful Christmas Eve. It nestled behind a set of bookshelves Karl built. It was a masterful job of concealment and the best carpentry work he'd ever done. 

He made the room into a comfortable study and spent many hours there working on projects from work. There was a safe hidden under the massive desk in the back of the room. That's where he kept his important papers and bits and pieces of things he was working on. He kept office work in it which he'd bring out and puzzle over during weekends and holidays. He never talked about his work now that Ned was away at school.

Kristen didn't think about her father's work. She was caught up in her own life. She was a precocious teenager who had grown into her looks early. She had Nordic skin, soft and creamy in the winter and golden tan in the summertime. Her eyes were green and her hair was the color of butterscotch candy. She always thought of herself as average – average height, average weight, average hair color, average face. But in truth she was stunning. Her skin glowed and her eyes sparkled and her laughter drew people to her.

Chapter

Time flew and a new decade began. Kristen started hanging around with a bunch of kids who put together a band. She had a great voice and ear for harmony. She became the band's lead singer and played at parties and dances around the area. Karl didn't mind. He thought it was good, clean fun. He dismissed most of what he read about teenagers going wild on drugs and sex and rock and roll. Kristen was a level headed, intelligent sixteen year old who brought home good grades. If she cut an occasional class or faked being sick a little too often it was counter balanced by how well she was doing in science and math. 

So Kristen learned to skate by. If everything was pretty on the surface she was good to go. She breezed through her classes, did her homework in study hall and rushed off to the band the second the bell rang. She wasn't close to anyone. Rita was a lost cause – stuck in basketball practices and mooning over the football quarterback -- feelings for Ned long ago forgotten.

Kristen's band would play their ratty music for hours. The members would toke up a few joints to enhance their creativity and off they would fly on another questionable musical tangent.

It was late June of Kristen's junior year. She should have been at school but she faked a cold and stayed home. She hated school anyway. It was boring. And lying on the dumpy old couch watching TV games shows was better entertainment. That's what she was looking for. Entertainment. At that point in her life that's all she was looking for. 16 years old. And no boyfriend. 

And her dad was always so secretive locked up in his office working late at night. That is on the nights he came home from work. On many nights word would come that "daddy's a little tied up at the office tonight." This day was a sweet gift. Just her "sick" on the couch and dad working in the den. It had never happened before. 

It was always the sound of a motorcycle engine that took her back to her memories of the day she met Ryan. Oh God, sweet Ryan. He was so beautiful that day. So full of light, of life. He stepped into the room like a messenger from heaven and Kristen was so intent on "The Match Game" or whatever the hell it was on television that half hour she almost missed him. Almost.

She was lying flat out on her stomach with a couch cushion under her chin, wearing bell bottom blue jeans and some kind of pastel T shirt, wiggling her feet in the air and guessing the answers when he walked into the room. "Wrong," she said. "Shit. I'd 'of got that one right you ninny. Why the hell'd you marry him?" she said in disgust to the flickering television tube.

She jumped when he laughed. That's how they met. "Oh hi, who the heck are you?" she demanded of the man behind the laugh. Ryan was young then. Still part boy. A golden boy. 

Kristen was embarrassed. She was caught off guard. There she was all sprawled out on the couch watching a no-brainer on TV when the man of her dreams walked into her life. 

"Hi," Ryan said, :"I'm Ryan Peters, I'm looking for...." He paused and smiled, a little uncertain whether he was where he should be 

Kristen was staring at him with mouth agape. He was so good looking. He had it all. At least that's what it looked like from her perspective on the couch. The late afternoon light was streaming in behind him, which added to the effect. He was basked in golden light. Perfect. That's how she always remembered him.

Ryan was a man of light. He was six foot two and a half, long and lean, with golden hair and sunny blue eyes that crinkled at the corners in later years just like the Hollywood stars they molded after him. He could have sold breakfast cereal. 

"I'm sorry, I should have knocked. I could hear the TV so I knew someone was home. I ...." His voice trailed off as he watched Kristen try to go from little girl to teenage femme fatal in about eight seconds. She's a plucky one he thought. But dangerous.

Something connected between them. Kind of a zing in the air between them. They both felt it. 

"That's okay." Kristen collected herself quickly. "You must be looking for my dad. He's working at home today. I'm Kristen, Hi." She reached out to shake his hand, hoping she looked older than she did. At that moment in time she wanted to look like Marilyn Monroe, drop dead gorgeous and with tits. 

As he touched her hand there was a jolt. The sound of wind rushed in Kristen's ears and something deep inside her said I KNOW YOU. Kristen looked into Ryan's eyes, puzzled. I recognize you, something whispered. It was as if something turned in her mind. Things that had always seemed blurry were suddenly clear.

Ryan felt it too. Maybe more so. He dropped her hand almost like it had turned into something else. IT'S YOU. something said in his mind. "What?" Ryan said sharply. Then he took a good, long look at Kristen. Something deep inside of him recognized Kristen in a way Ryan never even recognized himself. The good part of him. That was Kristen, to him.

"My father's close by. I'll go get him. Why don't you have a seat, make yourself comfortable?"

"Okay," Ryan parked himself in the Lazy Boy across from the couch. 

Kristen passed through the living room and the swinging doors leading to the kitchen. She called downstairs, "Dad, you have a visitor."

No response. Kristen went downstairs and knocked on the door to Karl's den. "Dad, there's someone here to see you."

Karl was lost in a project he'd brought home from work. He looked up, surprised. "Who is it?" he asked as Kristen opened the door.

""I don't know. Some guy."

"Some guy like a sales person?" Karl asked.

"I don't know."

"Oh. Tell him I'll be there in a minute. I have a couple of things to do before I can come up." 

"Okay."

Kristen was pleased. She'd have him to herself for a few minutes. She took the basement stairs two at a time in her hurry to return to the living room.

"My father will be here in a few minutes," she announced. Can I get you anything? A drink. A whiskey? Or maybe a gin and tonic." Kristen was struggling to appear sophisticated. "They're so refreshing this time of year."

Ryan almost burst out laughing at Kristen's attempt to appear older and worldly. She's a cute little filly, he thought. All legs and eyes. He felt himself falling for her. It's ridiculous, he thought. She's a child and you're a grown man. But they weren't really that far apart in age. Only eight years. Eight years was a huge gap at that time of life but almost infinitesimal in later years. 

Ryan let himself take measure of the precocious teenager in front of him. He didn't realize the impact his overt assessment of her attributes would have on her.

Kristen felt her heart lurch when Ryan took that good long look at her. She tried hard not to blush and did an admirable job keeping her composure.

"I'd love a gin and tonic," Ryan said grinning at her with his broad white smile.

"You would? Okay, great, gin and tonic coming up. I'll make a pitcher so you and dad can relax. Sure is hot today isn't It.?" Kristen felt like a babbling fool.

"Yeah. Very hot," Ryan agreed. The outside temperature had little to do with the heat in the living room at that moment.

Kristen's face was bright red by the time she pulled herself away and headed for the kitchen. She mixed a batch of gin and tonics using the measurements she'd seen her mother use. Two parts tonic and one part gin plus a lot of ice. She mixed the drinks in the old crystal pitcher they never used anymore. She poured herself a sample to be sure she'd got it right. The drink brought even more color to her face. To cool herself down she set about making finger sandwiches. She was almost through with her task when Karl came upstairs. 

"He's in the living room. I've made some refreshments," Kristen said.

Karl looked at his daughter. "Are you alright? You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine. I'll bring this stuff out in a minute."

Karl shrugged and went on into the living room. Kristen made a bee-line to the powder room to dash water on her face and put a little tooth paste on her tongue. She didn't want her father to know she'd sampled the drinks.

Karl entered the living room expecting to find a sales person. His brow went down in a V shaped showing his puzzlement at finding an agent in his living room. For clearly that's what Ryan was.

Ryan wasn't received with the same warmth by the father as he had been by Kristen. Ryan could see traces of Kristen in Karl's face and comportment. He stood and offered Karl his hand. "Hi, I'm Ryan Peters. I take it you're Karl Hansen?"

Karl took the proffered hand reluctantly. "That's right. What can I do for you?"

Ryan took measure of Karl. "So you're the problem solver I've heard so much about. Karl had shrunk into himself over the past four years. His hair and mustache had silvered and he'd become somewhat stooped. But he was still very fit from yard work and carpentry.

"Do you have a problem that needs solving?" he asked suspiciously.

Kristen entered the room with a tray containing the drinks and snacks. She'd decided to play hostess hoping to find out who Ryan was and what he wanted with her father. "Don't mind me," she said as she poured a couple of drinks from the pitcher. Karl gave her a look which said 'this is none of your business.' 

Kristen got the message. "I'll be on the side porch if you need me." Rats, she thought, I really want to know what's going on. I'm not a child she simmered. But in truth she just wanted to be near Ryan. Who is he?"

Ryan picked up his drink and took a long pull. That kid really knows how to fix a drink, he thought as the fiery liquid coursed through his blood stream.

Karl took a sip and almost choked. I'm going to have to teach her how to mix drinks. What'd she do, pour the whole bottle of gin in here?" I take it you're from the company," he said after he caught his breath. "Look, I told them I need to work on this project alone at home. They said okay. It's coming along but it's going to take a little more time. It will be done when it's done. That's all I have to say."

Ryan looked Karl in the eye. "I'm not here about your project."

"So, what's this about?" Karl asked.

"Why don't we take a walk? I'm not sure this room is secure."

"What do you mean?" 

"Humor me," Ryan said cryptically.

"I don't know who you are. Why should I trust you?"

"You trust Jim Phillips, don't you?"

"Okay, let's take a walk. Kristen," Karl yelled towards the side porch, "Mr. Peters and I are going out for a few minutes." He led the way to the front door.

They walked out into the warm June sunlight. It was late afternoon. The sun was making its way westward and there was a hint of evening in the air. They headed up the hill towards the O'Leary's house and the sharp decline that had provided so many wonderful hours of winter fun. Karl wished it was winter and he was walking with his kids for an evening of sledding. He hated the spy games. They'd given him nothing but trouble over the years. He sensed something was up and was not at all happy about it.

"So, what brings you here?" Karl said to get the conversation started.

Ryan took a deep breath. It was important that Karl really listen and accept what he was about to hear.

"I work for a group called the Guardians. I'm here to tell you that your work is in danger."

"Guardians," Karl said skeptically. "What do you guard?"

We follow the Company and another gang you came into contact with a few years ago. The Cabal., Quietly."

"You monitor both groups. Why? And why the cloak and dagger stuff? The Company's on the up and up. They've kept me clear of the Cabal all these years."

"The Cabal and the Company are two sides of a coin. They're fighting each other at present but both are working towards the same goal. As far as they're concerned it's just a matter of which one will sit at the head of the table at the end of the battle." 

"And what goal might they be after?" Karl asked with a hint of a sneer in his voice.

"The construction of a 'New World Order.'" Ryan said heavily. "An order where white supremacists rule. They've been working towards this end for longer than you can imagine. They were given a hard hit when Hitler fell, but they're like a hydra. One head was cut off and two new ones appeared."

Karl felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. He'd run across the term before. Neo Nazi's, white supremacists, fascists. A skunk by any name smelled foul.

"So I'm supposed to take your word for it. What do you want from me? Are you asking me to change allegiance based on your word. Hell, I don't know you from Adam. For all I know the Cabal sent you."

"I'm not from the Cabal." The two men stopped walking. Ryan looked Karl in the eye. He was surprisingly self-composed for such a young man. "You've been badly burned. I know that. Evelyn and Max used you badly. But you trust Jim and you can trust me."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Here," Ryan handed Karl a letter. It was from Jim. Karl knew his handwriting. The letter explained a lot of what Ryan had been telling him."

"So why didn't Jim just come out and tell me this?" Karl wanted to know.

"He can't. He's buried too deeply. Things are changing. A lot is happening very quickly. We need to get you out of the Company."

"What do you mean?"

Ryan pulled a thick envelope out of his jean jacket. "Look, you're working on some very sensitive projects. Projects the Cabal and the Company are fighting over. A couple of scientists have already disappeared. Here," he handed Karl a thick package. "This explains everything."

They had come to a path at the bottom of the hill leading into the woods. "Read this. I'll let you come to your own conclusions."

"So I'm going to disappear? Just like that? What about Kristen? And Ned and Elizabeth?"

"Actually, what we'd like to do is stage your death. Your kids will be a lot safer than they are now."

"What do you mean," Karl asked, his chest tight with fear."

"They're pawns now. If you're dead the Cabal and the Company will lose interest in them."

"Is this really necessary?" Karl asked, desperate for a way out. "I mean, I've been working for the Company for so long…."

"Jim's been our access to your work. Every day you stay with the Company he's endangered."

"Christ. So what will happen to my kids? Kristen's only 16. What happens to her?"

"We'll take good care of her. She's smart. She's ready for college. We have a place for her. The others will stay where they are. They'll be protected. You have my promise."

"I don't know. I need time to digest all this – and read this" – he gave the envelope a shake. "I can't give you an answer tonight."

"You have to. Time is running out."

Their walk through the woods ended at the old Boy Scout cabin where Kristen and Rita used to play. Karl took a look around and found an old picnic table to sit on. "It's going to take me a while to go through all this. I don't want you hovering over me while if read this stuff. Go back to the house. I'll join you in a while.

Ryan sighed. "Alright. How 'bout if I take Kristen out to dinner? I don't want to sit around staring at the furniture. And I don't want to drink any more of those gin and tonics. Where'd she get that recipe, anyway?" he said with a laugh.

Karl joined in the laughter. "She must have watched her mother fixing drinks. Evelyn likes a good stiff drink." He didn't want to trust Ryan with his daughter. But he didn't like the thought of Ryan having unhindered access to his home either. Dinner was probably a good idea. "Okay. Take her out to dinner but if anything happens to her…."

"Don't worry. Maybe you should write her a note. Let her know it's okay for me to take her out." He offered Karl a pen. Karl tore off part of the envelope and scribbled a short note telling Kristen it was alright for her to go out to dinner with Ryan. 

Karl handed Ryan the note. "Take good care of her. I don't want her hurt."

"Don't worry, I'm good with kids."

Karl was relieved to hear Ryan call Kristen a kid. He'd seen the impact the young man had on Kristen and didn't like it. Karl wanted to keep her a kid for a few more years. Hell, he thought, if things are as Peters says I won't get to see her grow up. God I hate this. I'd like to grab her and make a run for Canada. But that wouldn't resolve anything. Karl felt like he was a thousand years old. He opened the envelope and started reading. He didn't even hear Ryan leave, so immersed he was in the information contained in the package. He almost broke down when he got to the part about Evelyn's death. He wondered how they got their information. Jesus. Wheels, within wheels, within wheels. I thought I knew Jim. And Hurst – I thought he was a stand up sort of guy.




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 03



The package changed his life forever. Karl's blood ran cold as he read the material contained in the package. The two organizations were much more powerful than anything he'd imagined. They were developing technology which, if misused, could destroy humanity. They'd been around for ages and believed they would achieve their destiny - a New World Order around the middle of the next century. There was no room in the new world for the people of the developing nations. They would bankrupt Russia with the bogus cold war weapons race, rape the Middle East, and plunder Africa and South America in order to achieve a "natural balance" between the environment and the economy. The Company and the Cabal were one and the same. Its inner circle was made up of wealthy, privileged and educated men with a very skewed belief system. 

Karl learned that Guardians like Ryan had been fighting the Cabal for centuries. Jim had become a guardian when he accidentally discovered the Company was the Cabal's tentacle in the government. For years he'd been making slight alterations in Karl's work for the Company in order to slow them down and passing the accurate data to the Guardians. There were other groups of resistance. The Guardians were trying to unite the resistance groups but it was a difficult task. And now the world was entering the information age. It was happening much faster than the Guardians had expected. Scientists like Karl were unlocking secrets so fast the Guardians feared that the earth's natural balance would be destroyed. They decided to reveal themselves to a select few in order to pull them out of the two groups' hands. They hoped to gather enough talent to alter the disastrous course plotted out by the Cabal and the Company.

Unfortunately the Guardian's plan had been unearthed recently. The Guardians had to move fast. They needed Karl but they knew the Company would not let him go easily. Thus, the Guardians had a plan to stage Karl's death and take him to a safe location where he and other scientists could work safely. 

Karl wasn't sure he liked that last part. What guarantee do I have that the Guardians aren't as bad as the Company and the Cabal. Seems to me like everyone has delusions of grandeur. What the hell am I supposed to do with this information? Karl suddenly realized what a risk Ryan had taken getting this material to him. They must really be desperate to come out in the open. I hope Kristen's safe, he thought worriedly. Then he realized Ryan had taken Kristen to dinner so she wouldn't be home to witness Karl's staged death. The thought angered him. He felt manipulated and badly used.

Karl wasn't sure if he trusted the Guardians. But he did trust Jim. And the plan was for Ryan to take Kristen to Jim. After all the years and all the Christmases, Karl knew in his heart Jim would never hurt Kristen. Christ, she was like a daughter to him. So at least I know Kristen's safe. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let them play puppet master with my life. I'm not going to let them come here and take me away.  

Karl thought long and hard before deciding on a plan. I need more information – some independent verification of this. To do this, Karl realized he'd have to disappear for a while. What about my research? He didn't dare leave it in the Company's hands. I'll go get it from the office. Then I'll hide all of it away so neither side can get it. It won't be easy to disappear. But that's what I'm going to have to do he thought sadly.

Karl continued his musing as he walked back to the house. When he got there he hid his papers. Then he headed down to the Company. The plant was open 24 hours a day to its scientists. Karl had no problem getting a hold of his research. He checked his watch on his way out of the building. I've got to hurry. He made a reckless dash back up to Paoli. He was relieved to find the house empty when he got home. He quickly added the rest of the research to the fire proof safe in his secret office. Kristen's the only one who knows about the room and she won't tell anyone. He finally felt secure after he closed the door to his office for the last time.

After leaving his office he went through the camping gear he had stashed in the basement. He took everything except the large family tent. He took Ned's old Boy Scout pup tent instead. Upstairs he packed one suit and as much sportswear as he could fit into his suitcase. After he finished packing he hauled the suitcase downstairs and went to the kitchen to pack a box of food. He was as meticulous in his endeavor as he had ever been in planning a family camping trip. 

It was getting late. He packed up the car and said a silent farewell to the home he'd grown to love so dearly. He decided to head east. He'd drive as far as he could before getting sleepy. Then he'd find a campground. He thought he should keep moving – at least for the first few days.

Chapter

After Ryan left Karl in the woods he walked back through the woods enjoying a brief respite from his work. Dappled sunlight shone through the leaves as he walked westward out of the forest. He tried to relax and enjoy the peaceful sound of evening falling. He wasn't happy about the job he'd been assigned. But this was a crucial time and Karl's work was important. I'll take the kid out for a nice dinner, anyway. He hated the thought of what would happen while they enjoyed their meal.  He was sure Karl was on board. Staging a man's death was rotten, especially when kids were involved.

Kristen was on the front porch when he got back to the house. "Where's my father?" she asked anxiously.

"He's at the Boy Scout cabin. He has some work to do there."

"What do you mean? He can work at home. Why didn't he come back with you? What did you do to him?" she asked suspiciously.

"Honest, he's fine. He stayed behind because I gave him some papers to go through away from prying eyes."

"There are no prying eyes here."

"So you say. Here, I have a note from him. I'm supposed to take you out to dinner. Here." He handed Kristen the note.

Kristen read the note. It was legitimate. "Does he know you came here on a motor cycle?" she asked skeptically. "He'd kill me if he knew I was riding on one."

"He knows. Trust me." 

"Why should I trust you?" she asked.

"Your father trusts me."

Kristen gave Ryan a penetrating gaze. She liked what she saw and decided to trust him. "Wait a minute. I've got to get my purse." She ran inside and flew up the stairs. She decided to wear a dress, so she changed quickly and ran a brush through her hair. Then she grabbed her purse and was ready to ride. "Okay. Lets go," she said, trying to act nonchalant. 

Ryan looked at her approvingly as he walked over to his motor cycle. "Come on," he said as he straddled the bike.

Kristen jumped off the porch and sauntered over to the bike, acting with more aplomb than she felt. Ryan handed her his helmet. "Put that on," he said.

"What about you. Don't you have to wear one?"

"My head's harder than granite. I don't need one."

"Oh." She put the helmet on feeling foolish and excited. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"I don't know. What kind of food do you like?"

Kristen thought for a moment. She wanted to have the longest ride possible. She wasn't really dressed for a fancy restaurant, but who cared? "There's a nice place in Exton. The Ship Inn." 

"How far is it?"

"About ten miles."

Ryan laughed. "What if you don't like the ride?"

"I'll manage," Kristen replied, her heart in her throat. She climbed on the motor bike like she was born to it. She couldn't believe her luck as she wrapped her arms around Ryan's broad chest. I died and this is heaven, she thought with glee. She jumped when Ryan kick started the engine once, twice, three times and it growled to life. 

Ryan felt her breasts crushed against his back. The closeness was startling. A shaft of desire shot through him as he eased the bike backwards, around and then out of the driveway. Christ, he thought. What's wrong with me? She's just a kid.  His heart beat picked up as she tightened her grip around his waist. 

"Which way to the restaurant?" he asked when they got to the stop sign at the top of the street.

"Go over the railroad bridge and turn right at route 30. It's a straight shot west on 30.

The sun was poised on the horizon like a great, red eyeball as the bike picked up speed on route 30. The wind, still warm from the sunny late spring day wind whipped at Kristen's hair which flowed loose under her helmet. She felt Ryan's strong muscles under his shirt. It was wonderful. 

She rode stiffly for a few moments wondering if she should lean into the curves or against them. But she caught on quickly as they picked up speed. The bike smoothed out the rolling hills as the tires ate up the miles between Paoli and Exton.

The ride seemed to last forever. This is what it's like to fly, Kristen thought happily as they breezed into the restaurant's parking lot. I wish this night would never end. She was completely besotted with Ryan. Her legs were like rubber when she slid off the motor cycle. Ryan steadied her with one hand as he set the bike to rest. "Enjoy the ride?" he asked.

"Fantastic. Why don't we just keep going?" she asked. "I hear California's nice this time of year."

Ryan laughed. She was a natural. I'll make this dinner special for her he decided. "I'd love to, but I'm afraid you'd get saddle sore and tired of me before we even hit Ohio."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Try me."

"Some other time," he promised. "I'm starving. This looks like a pretty nice place. Do you suppose they'll let us road warriors eat here. Maybe we should go to the diner on the other side of the street." He pointed to a crumby looking White Castle advertising ten hamburgers for a dollar.

"Of course they'll let us in. Give me a minute to repair my hair," Kristen ordered. She pulled a brush out of her purse and pulled and tugged at her tangled mop. Ryan watched her, bewitched by the beauty of her hair in the fading spring sunshine. Kristen had a glow about her. She's a real beauty, he thought. Too bad she's going to hate me at the end of tonight. He knew she'd always associate this evening with loss. I wish I could tell her what's going on. God damn it I hate this job sometimes. I wish I could just be a horny teenager.

Kristen caught Ryan's intense stare. "What? Have I grown a horn on my forehead?" she asked laughing in the twilight.

"No." Ryan said, shaking his head. "You look lovely."

Kristen blushed at the complement. "Thank you, kind sir. I hope I'm lovely enough that they let us into this restaurant. I have a hankering for some really good fish."

Ryan took her arm and ushered her to the front door of the restaurant. The maitre 'd looked at them askance for a moment. "Do you have a reservation?" he asked with a snobbish turn of his nose.

Ryan looked at him hard. Then glanced at the almost empty dining room. He pulled out a five dollar bill. "Yes," he said archly. "I have a reservation. That table over there by the window has my name on it, doesn't it darling?" he said to Kristen, who blushed bright red.

"Yes, I think you're right," Kristen replied. "But I'm not sure we want to eat here. The dining room's almost empty. Maybe the food isn't as good as your editor said it is."

Ryan shook his head. "You're right. This must not be the right place. I'll have to find another restaurant to critique."

The maitre 'd bent over backwards after that to convince them to stay. He didn't want to be responsible for loosing the chance at a restaurant review. He didn't know what newspaper or magazine they were from but free publicity was free publicity.

Ryan and Kristen were given the best table in the house. The waiter fawned over them. They were hard put not to break into gales of laughter at his antics.

Kristen had never been to a really fancy restaurant before. She tried her best to look sophisticated. Ryan thought she was adorable. Ryan was torn when the wine steward came over. He didn't want to get his charge drunk. Kristen however surprised him by selecting an excellent vintage. It was pure luck but Ryan didn't know that. 

The wine was served as they considered the menu. Ryan did the honors, sampling the wine and nodding his approval. Kristen took a small sip and smiled broadly. She'd selected an uncomplicated but savory white. "It tastes like a summer breeze" she said happily.

Ryan smiled. "Go slow with that," he cautioned as he watched Kristen take a second, much larger sip.

"This' so much fun. What should we order?" she asked excitedly.

The waiter came over with a basket of bread and explained the specials. Roast duckling didn't appeal to Kristen. She wanted something light but memorable. 

"Pan fried, fresh brook trout. Oh. That sounds great."

Ryan was glad he had a full wallet. "I'll have the filet mignon," he said.

"Oh." The waiter said. "Then you'll have to have the burgundy. On the house, of course."

"Of course," Ryan said, wondering how to get out of it. "But maybe we should just stick with the white."

The waiter was aghast at the idea. "You can't possibly savor your meal without a proper wine for the palate." Spoken like a true food snob. 

"Of course, you're right." He laughed as he drained his glass of white wine. He looked at Kristen. She'd finished her first glass and was reaching for the bottle.

"Slow down, little one," he said in an unwittingly seductive voice. "The night is young." And so are you he added. Too damn young.  "Have some bread," he suggested in a low tone.

Kristen's pulse raced. Just the way he called her 'little one' set her blood to boil. She felt like a woman, and lifted her glass offering up a silent toast. She didn't know how provocative she looked – her hair all a-tumble and her young face flushed with wine and pleasure.

Ryan buttered a heel of pumpernickel bread and offered it to Kristen expecting her to take it with her hand. Instead she grabbed it between her pearly white teeth, almost taking a bite out of his hand. "Oh, that's good," she sighed. Ecstasy she thought. Could a night get any better than this?

 

Ryan laughed pensively. What an enchanting creature she is. The burgundy wine arrived with their salads. Kristen was well into her second glass of wine. "Don't get soused on me, Kristen," he said warningly. I don't want you falling off the back of my bike."

"I wouldn't."

Ryan wasn't sure if she meant she wouldn't get drunk or she wouldn't fall off the bike. "You might," he said sagely. And what would I tell your father if I bring you home drunk?"

"So don't bring me home," Kristen suggested, talking with her mouth full of bread. "Drive me to California. That's where I'm going to college. I should check it out, don't you think? This is the perfect opportunity for me to check out Berkeley."

"Huh uh. No way. I've got to get you home safe and sound." 

The waiter brought their salads. Ryan poured himself a full glass of wine. He wished he could get drunk. Then he'd take Kristen up on her suggestion that they drive to California. He'd forget all about the Company and the Cabal and Karl and everything else that was so screwed up. God Lord, this little girl has really gotten under my skin! 

They savored their salads. Ryan thought it was too bad he wasn't a food critic. He'd give the place four stars so far. Except for the snotty service. The waiter has his nose so far up in the air he'll drown in a rain storm Ryan thought. 

They were about halfway through the bottle of white wine when the main courses arrived. The trout was fried to perfection and its accompaniments were exquisite. Kristen forgot about the wine and dove into the food. She hadn't eaten since breakfast. "Ah, this is wonderful. We'll have to give them an excellent write up," she said as she paused to make room for more food. 

Ryan agreed. His steak was tender enough to cut with a butter knife. "First class," he said to the hovering waiter. "Our complements to the chef." He poured a glass of burgundy. To hell with it, he thought. I'm going to make the best of this evening. God, I wish she was just two years older. What a couple we'd make. He was suffering – his cock was at full mast. He tried every trick he knew of to cool himself off. He thought about glaciers, snow storms. Nothing worked. He was smitten and besotted with desire for Kristen.

Kristen could feel his heat. She was unprepared for the intensity of her passion for this golden man. How can I convince him I'm not a child? He feels it. I know he does. He's sweating and it's not at all hot in here. Kristen poured herself another glass of wine. I'm going to get myself drunk and seduce him. He's halfway there already. Kristen squirmed in her seat. She was so hot.

The waiter beamed at the couple. Young love. What a handsome pair. She's a little young for him though. I should have carded her. Oh well. They'll give us a great review and business will pick up. 

They ate in silence, both lost in thought and desire.

Ryan started to feel guilty towards the end of the meal. I wonder if Karl has made up his mind. Maybe I should warn Kristen about what's about to happen. No. Ultimately she's got to think Karl's dead. She'll be too vulnerable if she knows he's alive. I have to stick with the plan. He felt like a monster. 

Kristen noticed the change in the atmosphere. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, I'm sorry. Sometimes work intrudes."

"Work, huh. What is it you do? Do you work for the Company? Or are you a spy. Like…." She stopped in mid sentence. She'd almost blurted out the fact her mother was a spy. That's it. I've had too much wine. 

 "Excuse me," she said in a rush. "I've got to go to the restroom." All of a sudden she felt sick to her stomach. Too much wine. Oh God I feel sick. She almost tipped over her chair in her hurry to get to the ladies room.  She barely made it to the stall. Everything came up. All the food and all the wine. She felt miserable and horribly embarrassed. At least I didn't loose it in front of Ryan. God, what an idiot I am. But after a few minutes she felt much better. She dowsed her face with cold water, smoothed her hair and rinsed her mouth thoroughly from the spigot. She was grateful there'd been no one in the bathroom to witness her misery. She smiled bravely at her reflection on her way out the door. 

Ryan looked at her questioningly when she returned to the table. "Are you alright?" 

"Just fine," she said bravely. 

"Would you like some more wine" he asked, having guessed what transpired in the ladies room.

"Uh, no. I don't think so. Maybe some tea, if they have any."

"How about desert?"

"No. Thanks. I'm pretty full. You go ahead if you want. Just tea. Please."

Ryan laughed. "Are you sure you're alright? You were pretty green for a minute there."

"Oh God," Kristen said, mortified that he knew she'd lost her dinner. "I'm so embarrassed. That's never happened to me before."

"I should hope not. You don't drink two thirds of a bottle of wine every day do you?"

"No. I never. Well, once," she admitted. "With Rita. In a snow storm. But this is the first time I ever really got drunk."

"Who's Rita?" Ryan asked, wanting to know more about Kristen. He was thirsty for information. 

"My best friend. Well, she used to be my best friend. Before she became too 'adult' for me. Ned was crazy over her too, for a while. Until he went off to college. I guess he got a girl friend right away. That's when Rita stopped talking to me entirely. Some friend, huh?"




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 03



"People change."

"Yeah, but you don't just cut someone out of your life. Not someone you've known forever." Kristen had almost forgotten how badly Rita's perfidy hurt. 

"You try not to, anyway," Ryan responded. "Sometimes things happen that are beyond your control," he said, thinking about what was probably happening at Kristen's house right about now.

The waiter, who had been hovering for a while, came over offering desert and coffee.

"Do you have tea?" Kristen asked.

"Yes, of course," the water responded. "And for you sir? Brandy with your coffee?"

"No. Nothing for me, thanks. I'll take the check when you bring the tea."

"Very good, sir. 

Ryan poured himself a final glass of burgundy, not wanting to let the bottle go to waste. He knew his limit. Three glasses of wine barely fazed him. 

The waiter brought the tea and the check. Ryan savored the last few minutes of peace, knowing the rest of the night was likely to be a nightmare. He knew Karl understood what was at stake and was pretty sure he'd go along with the faked death even knowing how much it would hurt his children. Ryan looked at his watch. Almost nine. He wondered how far along his people were by now. Had Karl been spirited away already? Where would they take him. Somewhere very safe – of that he was certain. Poor Kristen. This is going to be very hard on her. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish I didn't feel like this! Ryan didn't like being vulnerable. 

They sat in a companionable silence while Kristen sipped her tea. It's like we've know each other for years, Kristen thought happily, drinking slowly, savoring the time together. But something's up. I know it. Ryan didn't just happen along and why was dad so easy going about my going out with him?

"So, mystery man," Kristen said as seductively as she knew how, "are you going to tell me what's up with my father?"

"What do you mean?" Ryan said tightly. I underestimated her, he realized. 

"Come on. I wasn't born yesterday. I know about my father's work. You brought him something important. You didn't come out here to baby sit. Or did you?" Kristen was suddenly suspicious.

"I wouldn't exactly call this baby sitting." Ryan tried to side-step the issue. "Are you done with your tea? We should be getting back. I don't want your father to think I've abducted you." He put a few bills into the folder without really looking at the tab and started to stand.

"No. I'm not quite done yet," Kristen said stubbornly. "I want to know what's going on."

"There's nothing going on," Ryan lied. "Come on, kid, it's time to hit the road." He waved at the waiter who had been lurking close by and handed over the check. The waiter opened the folder and beamed when he saw his gratuity.

"Thank you, sir. I hope you enjoyed your meal. We'll look forward to reading your review. What paper did you say you were with?"

..

"I didn't say. You'll see the write-up soon," he lied. "Let's go Kristen," he urged his charge.

"Alright. I'm coming. But I'm serious. You're not a very good liar."

Ryan was nonplussed. He considered himself a masterful liar. What should I tell her? The truth? It would put her in danger. But on the other hand if she's suspicious now she probably won't buy the cover story anyway. He decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Let's take a walk," he suggested with a sigh.

Kristen knew she'd won the battle. She gave Ryan a sweet smile as she stood. "I knew I could trust you," she said.

"Let's hope the trust doesn't do more harm than good," Ryan replied cryptically as they exited the restaurant. They headed out across the dimly lit parking lot. There was a foot path along the side of Route 30 wide enough for two to walk abreast. Ryan set a fast pace. Kristen had to dance a bit to keep up with him. "You can't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. Do you understand? And I shouldn't be telling you -- but you're so damn suspicious, you'd probably make a lot of trouble if I don't"

"You got that right."

Ryan told Kristen the whole story as they walked through the darkness along side of route 30. From time to time cars lit the pathway, then zoomed past to wherever they were going. The air was still but there was a bit of thunder off in the distance. A storm was brewing. It wouldn't hit for a while yet.

Kristen listened, shocked and dismayed, but a bit excited by what she was hearing. Ryan explained why it was necessary to stage Karl's death. 

"Can I tell Ned and Lizzy?" she asked, feeling forlorn.

"No. It would put them in danger. It's bad enough that you know."

"Can I see him before…? Can I say goodbye?"

"No. It's probably already done. I can give him a message," Ryan offered.

"That'd be good. I think he'll feel better if he knows I know."

"I guess," Ryan said doubtfully. "Do you think you can handle your part in this play? I should be bringing you back about now to learn about the 'accident.'"

I guess. But what's going to happen to me?"

The plan had been to park her at the Phillip's for the time being. But under the circumstance now, he didn't think it would be a good idea. She'd have to play the mourning daughter role with everyone except Jim. That won't work. I'll have to come up with an alternative. "Don't worry. I'll take care of you."

"You weren't going to at first, were you?" Kristen asked.

"You're too smart for your own good," Ryan said with a sigh. "No. You were going to go the Phillips' for a few weeks until we settled you in college."

"College? I'm only sixteen. And I can't stay at the Phillips'. I'd have to mope around about dear departed dad."

"I know. That won't work. Same thing with your siblings. "But I may have an idea.

"Oh great. Just don't stick me in some orphanage. And how am I supposed to start college? I haven't even finished high school. 

"We have a place for you in an accelerated program. In a school in Ohio. Antioch College."

"Never heard of it," she said grumpily. "And what if I don't want to go? Did you think about that?" Kristen asked angrily. "You had it all planned out. Jesus, don't you guys get tired of messing with people's lives?"

Ryan looked at Kristen helplessly. "I don't know what to say. We had a plan mapped out. I guess we didn't consider your feelings. We assumed you'd go along with it. What other choice do you have?"

"I could go to Hurst," Kristen said acidly. "I could ask him to sponsor me."

"No you wouldn't. We wouldn't let you anywhere near that son of a bitch."

"Why's he so bad and your group so good? I don't get it. You all sound alike. All of you, playing games with people's lives, plotting and planning a future. Who's to say which future is better? Maybe the Cabal and the company are right and you're wrong."

"You don't think that, do you? White supremacy? Domination of the planet? Is that what you want for the world?"

"No," Kristen said with a sigh. "It's just…. I don't know who to trust."

"You trust your father."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So, if when we get back to your house things are as I said they would be will you trust me?"

"Do I have any choice?"

"Yeah. When we get to your house you could jump off my bike and go to the police with my story. Or you could go to the press. It's in your hands now. Christ," Ryan said tiredly, "What a can of worms. I should never have told you."

"Oh no," Kristen was abashed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I know I can trust you. You told me the truth. That's what's important."

"Okay," Ryan said, relieved. "So, are we going to do this?"

"Yeah. Lets do it."

They'd walked about a mile during their debate. Now they turned around and headed back towards the restaurant. They let the evening's silence fall on them like a cloak. Their earlier desire was spent during their argument. Now they basked in the afterglow. It was almost as if they had become lovers. They were a team. They both felt the change in the relationship.

On the way back to Paoli, Ryan drove fiercely, but with care. He didn't want them to become a roadside statistic. Especially not tonight.  What am I going to do about Kristen? He had a sudden inspiration. Leslie! Yeah, that's a great idea. He turned the bike and headed into Paoli looking for a phone booth. He stopped at the Old Trail Tavern – the only place open at that hour. "Wait here," he instructed Kristen. I have to make a phone call.

Leslie was his step-sister. She lived in Germantown – a part of Philadelphia. It was perfect. He'd been out of touch with her for a while but their relationship was such that when they connected they simply picked up the thread of their friendship and moved on. She knew a bit about his occupation. She never asked for details. 

He strode into the Tavern and found the phone booth. Please be home, he willed the telephone line. Pick up, Leslie. He was just about to give up when she picked up the phone on the eight ring.

"Leslie, hi. It's Ryan."

"Ryan?" Leslie's contralto voice came across clearly over the telephone line. "As in my long lost little step brother? Hey, how are you? Long time no hear."

"Yeah. Sorry about that. I got busy. How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm fine. What's with the "sweetheart business" sweetheart?

"What do you mean?"

"Whenever you call me sweetheart you're after something."

"How do you do it, Leslie? You read me like a book" he said with a laugh. 

"It's the witch in me," Leslie replied. She did love her errant step-brother. He was so full of adventure. They were both working for the same end by way of separate paths. She worked in the spiritual realm; his work was more down to earth. They worked well together when their paths crossed.

"Listen, I have a favor to ask of you. A big one."

"I'm listening," Leslie said with a smile in her voice.

"I have a sixteen year old girl in need of a safe harbor. For a few weeks. Until I can set her up in school. It's complicated," he said in a rush. He explained the situation. "I was hoping she could bunk in with you until I get things settled."

"Oh, Christ, Ryan, a kid? A teenager. I don't know. I'm not very good with kids."

"Sure you are. You were great with me." 

"Yeah," Leslie conceded, "But you're my little brother. And we're not that far apart in age. Only eight years."

"She's a really nice, bright kid, old for her age and not short on talent."

"Talent?"

"Yeah. It runs in her family. She's loosing her father tonight." He played on his sister's soft heart.

"I know. Poor kid," Leslie said reluctantly. "But couldn't she stay with her brother or sister?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea. She'd be too tempted to tell them that Karl's alive. Besides, with her talent... You'd be a great person to help her learn to channel it."

"That's true." Leslie brightened "Alright. You can bring her over. We'll meet. If we get along and she wants to stay, I'll put her up in one of the extra bedrooms. How long do you want me to keep her?"

"Until I get her enrolled in school. Six, maybe eight weeks. Maybe less. It depends on admissions at Antioch."

"Ah. So that's where you're sending her. Do you think she can handle it? She's pretty young."

"I think she can. She a surprising kid."

"You sound pretty attached to her. Are your intentions honorable?" Leslie teased.

"Yes. For now. But there's something special between me and Kristen. We both felt it." 

Leslie was silent.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to rob the cradle. I'll just have to be patient. Wait for her to grow up a bit."

Leslie laughed. "You're willing to wait? You must be smitten. I can't wait to meet her. When can I expect you?"

"We have to stop off at her house to get a few things. Give us an hour, hour and a half. Thanks sis.

"De nada. I'll see you soon."

Ryan left the Tavern and rejoined Kristen pleased and relieved to have resolved the issue of Kristen's housing for the time being. He told Kristen about the plan.

"Your sister, huh? Does she look like you?"

"She's my step-sister. 

"Were you're parent's divorced?"

"Yeah." Ryan said as he mounted his motor cycle. "Come on, climb aboard. We gotta get going. Leslie's waiting."

Kristen attached herself to Ryan's back, Ryan kick started the motor bike and pointed it towards the Hanson home. They weren't surprised to find it vacant when they arrived. They assumed things went as planned and Karl was safely in the Guardian's hands. 

Kristen made her way to her room thinking how odd it was that she would never be coming back here to live. She felt a strong pang of sorrow. She'd had a great childhood here despite all the domestic problems. No more Christmas Eves, she realized. No more Swedish meatballs.

She thought about Christmases past as she sorted through her things. She found her stash of pot and hid it inside a pair of socks. She realized she could only take a small bag. It would be awkward riding the motorcycle with a suitcase on her lap.

She gave Ryan a wan smile when she saw him waiting for her at the foot of the steps. She ran her hand down the railing as she walked wondering how many times she'd slid down the banister as a child.

Germantown was a small urban community on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Ryan drove carefully en route down 202 North, and then picked up speed on the Schuchyll Expressway. Kristen tightened her grip on Ryan. She felt like she was being driven into midnight or nothing. It was completely dark out and the lights just zipped by. She pretended she was on a rocket ship heading to another galaxy. The lights were star systems flashing by. She felt so free! She refused to allow any worries or fears slip into the magic ride. She didn't think about her father being spirited away by secret agents or the loss of her family home. She was glad they'd stopped by the house. She would always carry the childhood vision of her white house surrounded by lawn and spring flowers. She wondered what Rita would think of this adventure. An adventure more real and terrifying than any she and her childhood friend had ever dreamed up on days gone by.

Ryan slowed the bike and eased off the expressway at the Germantown exit. He took the hills and turns of the city streets at a moderate pace. Leslie's house was in a neighborhood which had seen better days. She bought it for a song five years ago because it was said to be haunted. The house had been on the market for ten years, and was in sorry disrepair when she snatched it up. She nurtured it and restored it room by room and now it was quite livable. Leslie didn't mind the late night moans and groans. They added flavor. She was a little worried, however, about how her guest would take to the midnight visitors. Well maybe the girl wouldn't notice them. They didn't come out when Ryan visited.

Leslie turned the porch light on and made up the little room in the back of the second floor after she got off the phone with Ryan. The room was cozy and close to the bathroom. She had a feeling the girl would need something cozy. It's hard to loose a parent. Well, she hadn't exactly lost a parent, but she was losing everything familiar. Damn spy games. Rotten thing to put a kid through. Sixteen is such a rough age. Ryan sounded smitten by her. Well, he's not much older than she is. Not really. Although God knows he's been through more than most 24 year olds. 

Kristen was more than ready to get off the bike by the time they pulled up in front of Leslie's house. She felt like she'd been riding a horse. Her legs were wobbly and she almost fell when she slid off the back of the motor cycle.

"Nice place," she said eyeing the big old grey elephant of a house. "Is this where you grew up?"

"No. Leslie bought it about five years ago. It was supposed to be haunted and no one seemed to want it. So she bought it cheap and renovated it. I haven't been here in a long time. I'm looking forward to seeing what she's done with it."

"Leslie's your step-sister."

"Uh huh."

"Mother's side or father?" Kristen wanted to know everything there was to know about Ryan.

"Fathers side," he said as they stepped onto the front porch.

"What'd he do? Leave her mother and marry yours?"

"Something like that. You're awfully inquisitive," Ryan said, not wanting to reveal a part of himself that still hurt when he let it. He opened the door and ushered her inside.

"Leslie, we're here," he called.

"I'm in the kitchen," Leslie called back from the far end of the house. "Come on in and make yourselves at home."

Ryan led the way down the long hall into the kitchen which was the heart of the house. It was smart of Leslie to greet them where there was warmth Ryan thought. It would put Kristen, who was probably tired and nervous and wired from the events of the evening, at ease.

Leslie stood up from the large oak table to greet her guests. She gave Ryan a big hug. "God it's good to see you. Where have you been keeping yourself?" she asked not expecting an answer. Then she turned her attention to Kristen. She stuck out her right hand. "Hi. I'm Leslie. And you're Kristen."

"Last time I checked," Kristen said. She took the proffered hand cautiously. She wanted to take her time getting to know Leslie. She didn't want to be rude but she didn't want to just plunge into friendly familiarity.

Leslie backed off. She sensed that Kristen was pretty close to overloaded. Well. She's been through a lot and there's more to come. 

"Are you guys hungry? I could fix a late dinner," she suggested.

"No," Ryan said. "We just finished dinner about an hour and a half ago. It was pretty good, wasn't it, Kristen?"

"Yeah. Great. But we didn't get dessert."

"Do you like ice cream? I have some in the freezer."

"I'm not really in the mood." 

Kristen was feeling grumpy. She wanted to make a scene. Ryan was dumping her here for God knows how long and she didn't bring enough clothes. She wondered what was going to happen to Felix and all of her things at home. She was worried about whether she could pull off pretending Karl was dead. All of a sudden she wanted to burst into tears but that would make her look like a baby. And the last thing she wanted was for Ryan to think she was a baby.

Somehow Ryan was attuned to Kristen. He looked over at her and saw her struggling with tears.

"You know," he said, "I'm pretty well tuckered out. Is it all right if I spend the night?" he asked his sister. "I know you have an extra room or two."

Kristen heaved a silent sigh of relief. She hadn't wanted to be dumped off here never to see Ryan again. 

"Of course," Leslie said. "You're welcome here anytime. Stay as long as you want." She stretched her long body and faked a yawn. "I'm beat. Kristen, your room's the little one at the end of the hall on the second floor. It's next to the bathroom. Good night kids." I hope you know what you're getting into little brother, she thought to herself. Leslie left them to their own devices and headed up to bed. 

Ryan looked at Kristen. So pretty and so young. And so sad. He ached for her. He reached out, meaning only to brush a stray lock of hair off her face. She took his hand and leaned into his arms with a sigh. "Ryan – Ryan. I want…."

"No," he said raggedly. It would be so easy. But it's not right. She's just a kid.

"I'm not a kid," Kristen said, seeing his hesitation and reading his thoughts. "I want this." She put his hand on her breast, and took a quick breath when she felt his cock begin to harden against her thigh.

Kristen took the initiative and kissed him. He melted into the kiss. Then his hands were everywhere. God, I want her so badly. But it's not right. She's too young. He tried to back off but Kristen pressed hard, using her innate talent of persuasion and he was lost.




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 03



"We shouldn't be doing this," Ryan whispered into her ear.

"Yes we should. It's alright. Come on." she urged. She had no experience and very little knowledge of what went on under the sheets. She was simply following her instincts and hormones. She pressed her knee against his erection. He pulled her dress up over her head. He was in a heated rush. Her skin was like silk, her mouth, hot, wet. He slipped his finger into her underpants and felt her wetness. It was impossible. He couldn't stop.

She cried out when he touched her clitoris. She started to come immediately. He slipped his thumb into her vagina while he played with her clit. He felt the little membrane break and realized he'd taken her womanhood. He pulled back, feeling guilty. 

Kristen cried out. She felt a deep shaft of pleasure along with the stab of pain. "No. Don't stop. I want you."

"But you've never…."

"I don't care. You have to."

He picked her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to the room Leslie had prepared for her. "Are you sure? I'll stop if you want," he said as he set her down on the bed.

"Oh God, no. Don't stop. Please."

"Open your knees" he instructed. 

She complied.

He bent his head to her mound, playing her clit with his tongue and gently opening her vagina. He wanted to make it good for her. He didn't want it to hurt.

She came again. It was time. He straddled her and pulled her legs up over his shoulders. Then, in one long hard stroke he entered her. She cried out with pleasure. "Yes, more, more, more," she called out as she came in a rush. He plunged into her sweet youth. It was ecstasy. He didn't hold out very long. He called out her name "Kristen!" and pulled out of her at the last second before he came. It was agony not to pour himself into her but he hadn't lost all reason. He didn't have a condom so it was the best he could do. 

It was over all too soon. Kristen didn't want to move. Ever again. She wanted to stay like this forever. He felt, oh so good. It felt right. Nothing she'd read or imagined came close to this feeling of perfection with an emphasis on the purrr. She giggled. She felt like a contented cat. Her whole body was tingling with pleasure.

"Oh yes," she sighed. "Let's do it again." She wiggled and put her hand around his shaft. It thickened and hardened instantly.

"You're a witch," he whispered into her ear. He entered her slowly this time, and rocked back and forth, in and out. "I'm going to take my time with you now." He eased himself up on his elbows and looked Kristen in the eye. "You're so beautiful. I shouldn't be doing this. You're just a kid."

"Am I?" Kristen said. "I don't think so. Not any more. You made me a woman. Ah, that's good. Keep going," she urged him on with sighs and whispers. He picked up the pace. She moved under him like she'd known him forever. She felt the pressure of another orgasm building. She moved just so and exploded into fragments of light and he came thundering after her, but again, pulling out at the last second

"Ah, no!" Kristen sighed. "Why'd you do that?" she asked as he spurted onto her belly"

"You don't want any little surprises nine months from now, do you?"

"Ohhh. No. I didn't think…."

He kissed her nose. "You're so innocent," he marveled. 

That's magic Kristen thought. Pure and simple magic.

They lay together spent. 

Ryan waited for his conscience to kick in with recriminations. What they'd done just seemed so right. But now what? he wondered. He lay on his side with Kristen snuggled up next to him and he felt like he'd found a piece of heaven. What am I going to do about this? he thought desperately. She's just a kid. I can't run off and marry her. Or can I? Karl'll hang me out to dry if he finds out about this. But, God damn it, I'm not going to leave Kristen in the lurch. 

Kristen was sound asleep. She's so cute, Ryan thought. Like a little kitten. He eased himself out from her embrace and sat up. He looked around the room. Clothes were everywhere. I'd better straighten things up here and head to my bedroom. Leslie will skewer me. 

Ryan slipped off the bed and dressed before leaving the room. He had a lot of thinking to do. He decided to find a drink and a quiet spot to consider his dilemma. He could move like a shadow when he wanted to. It was part of his training. He made his way downstairs to the library. He was surprised by the strength of his feelings for Kristen. 

Ryan found Leslie's bar and poured himself a double scotch. 

He didn't bother with ice. Kristen wasn't part of 'their' plan.  He sipped his drink angrily as he let his mind ponder his problem. Damn the plan, he thought angrily. It's the plots and counter plots, the intrigue and mystery -- the smoke and mirrors that get us into all this mess. 

'Politics' is the dirty word that got by the censor, he thought angrily. I should just grab her, drive down to whatever state will allow it, and marry her. But would that be fair to her? She's got a whole life ahead of her. She's going to college in a few weeks. She deserves better than a fly by night agent who'd never be home at five o'clock for dinner. She's got to have a chance to meet some normal guys who can give her the house and the kids and the car and the cat. I can't just swoop in and take her away. Even if that's what she thinks she wants. She has to have a chance for a normal life. 

 But I'm not going to disappear on her. I'll just keep on with my work – wherever it may take me – and check in on her from time to time. Antioch's a good place for her. She'll have a chance to study and meet some guys. He hated the thought of Kristen meeting other men. But she's not my property, sport. And I've got a lot of jobs coming up. 

Ryan's glass was empty. He didn't remember drinking the double shot. He didn't feel any effect from the liquor. He poured another double. Damned if I'm going to get any sleep tonight. He sat and thought until the sky began to lighten. Then he crawled off towards his bedroom. He realized he was drunk when he was passing the bathroom. You're going to hurt later if you don't do something, he told himself. So he made a pit stop. He found some aspirin in the medicine cabinet and swallowed four pills with about a half gallon of water. The best defense is a good offense he told himself, having suffered several hangovers in the past. He found his way to his bedroom and sacked out without even taking off his clothes.

Leslie was a morning person. She was awake and heard Ryan stumbling around before he crashed. I wonder what's on his mind she thought as she yawned and stretched, getting ready for the new day. I bet it's about Kristen. She's a nice kid. A bit young. I hope he doesn't get himself into trouble. 

Leslie had an internal trouble gauge. Whenever trouble was on the way her feet started to hurt. So far her feet were fine. Maybe I worry too much. 

Leslie was very fond of her step brother. She was eight years older than him and felt as maternal towards him as she would ever feel towards anyone. She knew kids weren't in the picture for her. Not this time around. So I play Mother Goose for Kristen and Ryan. That's not such a bad role.  She wasn't aware of what had happened between Ryan and Kristen after she went to bed last night.

Leslie did her gardening in the early morning hours. She was up and around long before most "normal" people. On spring days like today she would take her tea out to the back porch to watch the sun rise. She loved the dark, quiet moments right before the sun started to lighten the sky when the world paused before ushering in the morning. Then there's a slight glow as the world spins. A line of light appears. 

She could tell what kind of day it will be by the tone of the line on the morning horizon. That's where she attained her magic. She could feel the pull of the earth and the energy of the sun as she sat gathering herself for the new day.

So Mother Earth, she thought to herself, what have you got in store for me today?  It was a beautiful morning. She loved June. Everything seemed to be on balance in June. The trees were at their greenest, the grass grew riotously free. The roses were at their peak. Bees were seduced by honeysuckle and ants camped out inside peonies. The floral scent in the air was a narcotic. 

That's why Leslie bought the house. The ghosts could come and go as they pleased. She didn't mind them at all. But the garden in her back yard was her lover, her friend, her wellspring. She couldn't remember a time when her hands didn't ache to plunge into sod or dirt or sand or whatever soil was under foot. It had driven her mother crazy and driven her father away. Leslie hadn't known or really cared when she was a child. She just had to have her hand, her feet, her soul in the earth.

And then there was Ryan. Leslie was thirteen and he was five when they met. Her mother, Lucy, had bounced around from bed to bed after Leslie's father left, until she took up with Ryan's father. Then she dug her heels in. She realized she wasn't getting any younger and her teenage daughter would soon out shine her. She grabbed what she could and hung on for dear life.

Ryan's father was a cold man. Leslie could never figure out why he hooked up with Lucy. Maybe it was because she was so bright and shiny, like a copper penny. He acquired her. They dressed up and went out a lot. But he treated her badly when no one was around. Leslie figured he thought she'd be a good mother for Ryan. Poor little Ryan didn't have an available mother or a father. Leslie was captivated by him. He was such a good little boy. And beautiful. Not handsome – beautiful. His skin had a golden glow. His hair was the color of melted butter. He had solemn, deep sapphire eyes that never cried and seemed to see everything. 

Ryan was a watcher. He watched everything with his huge, blue eyes. Measuring. Never judging. Just watching. It was like he was waiting for something. Or someone.

Leslie took Ryan under her wing and became the mother he was lacking. She read stories to him at bedtime and taught him the alphabet so he wouldn't appear stupid when school started. He took to reading like a fish to water. When he started kindergarten it was Leslie who packed his lunch and took him by the hand to school to make sure he got to the right class. The adults were too busy with whatever it was they were doing to pay attention to their children. So Leslie became mother to Ryan. They formed a bond that lasted several lifetimes.

So what's up with Ryan now? Leslie wondered as she sipped her tea. This girl, Kristen. She struggled with some jealousy but was able to set it aside. I should have used loose tea. I need a reading on this. Maybe the Tarot. 

Leslie went inside to get her Tarot deck and returned to the porch. Let's see. Who is Kristen?

She cut the deck three times and pulled a card out at random. Leo. Sun. Strength. Well, that's auspicious.

Inner light and inner worth. What's her crossing card? Wand 3. Ambitious and adventurous disposition. Fierce anger. Hmm. She continued dealing the cards in her own arrangement and was well satisfied with the ultimate result. Strong, independent, well balanced with psi talent. She's a witch! Leslie concluded with delight. And she doesn't know it. I wonder what her talents are. This is going to be an interesting summer.

The witch with the Halloween connotations isn't what Leslie meant. Sorceress, enchantress, medicine woman…, whatever was more accurate. Most people deny that basic telepathic talents exist. But there they are, just when you least expect them.

And, as if by magic, when Leslie looked up from her musings, there, standing in the doorway entrance was Kristen, tousled and sleepy eyed, but glowing with youthful vigor. Leslie looked at her more closely. No, Leslie concluded quickly, Kristen was glowing much more sensually than she had the night before. Last night she'd been innocent. This morning she was a woman, well satisfied.

Well I'll be blessed, Ryan. She didn't quite know how to handle her sudden insight, Or what to think. She's an enchantress alright. I'll bet she had as much to do with it as he did. And right under my sleepy little nose. Well, what's done is done. They're both basically horny kids. If I know Ryan he made it good for her. 

So that's why he was grumbling around so early. I'll bet he's doubled over with recriminations. What a dilemma! But this isn't just lust. At least from Ryan's side. Last night he said he'd wait for her to grow up a while. So much for that idea. I wonder what happened? Well, at least he's thinking about the future. Good. I hope she feels the same.

Leslie's musings took about 30 seconds. There was just enough of a pause from the time she noticed Kristen in the doorway to the time she managed to give a bright morning greeting for Kristen to realize the reason for the delayed reaction in Leslie's greeting.

"Good morning Kristen., Leslie said. Do you like tea or coffee?"

She knows Kristen thought. But how? Oh God, maybe I smell like sex. Or like Ryan. She didn't know there was a different aura about her this morning - at least to those who, like Leslie, see auras.

"Tea, please. What are those cards? They're lovely."

Leslie gave Kristen a smile. "These are Tarot cards. They're used sometimes by fortune tellers."

"Are you a fortune teller?" Kristen said dubiously.

"Sometimes. You've never seen a deck? Sit down. I'll show you." Leslie was tempted to sweep up the cards to conceal that the reading before her concerned Kristen. No. I want our relationship to start out with truthfulness and candor. I've got a lot to teach her and not much time. Leslie wasn't sure why she felt such urgency. Ryan said she'd be here for six to eight weeks. After that, college. I've got to ask Ryan if she's in any immediate danger. 

Kristen sat down across from Leslie and looked at the layout more carefully. She had another intuitive flash and blurted out without thinking, "this is about me, isn't it? Is that how you knew…." She stopped and blushed at what she'd just revealed.

Lord, she's quick, Leslie thought. She smiled, feeling a little guilty. "Yes to your first question. No to the second."

"Then how…."

"You look different to me this morning. There's a certain glow about you. I could tell what happened between you and Ryan last night the minute I looked at you. It's a kind of gift I have. That and fortune telling."

They both laughed. And a friendship based on mutual respect was born.

"You don't—disapprove? Kristen said surprised. I mean, I'm sixteen and he's …. How old is he?"

"24," Leslie said."

"Oh," Kristen said relieved. "He's not that old." But she really didn't care how old he was. "There's a lot I don't know about him. Not yet anyway. He didn't take advantage of me. Actually," she laughed, " it was kind of the other way around.'

Leslie joined in the laugher. Kristen was so refreshing in her honesty. "Ryan may not be feeling very well when he wakes up. I heard him stumble to bed around six a.m. I think he had a few drinks under his belt."

"Really? Why?"

"I guess he had a lot to think about."

"You don't think he's sorry we…, you know." Kristen asked worriedly.

"Well, not sorry exactly. I know he cares for you. It's just that you're so young. He's probably knocking himself about for seducing you."

"But that's silly. I seduced him. He wanted to stop, but I…."

"Yes. But Ryan has a code of honor. It's very much a part of who he is and what he does. 'Taking advantage' of a sixteen year old girl in his care might give him some pangs of conscience," Leslie explained, thinking she's such a babe in the woods.

"But that's not what happened," Kristen said vehemently.

Leslie sighed. "I know. I'm just trying to help you get inside Ryan's head in case he acts strange when he gets up. Morning afters can be awkward. We're going to have to help Ryan through this if you want things to work out between you."

"What can I do?" Kristen was almost in tears. "I don't want anything to ruin this. It's so… perfect. I've never felt like this. Not even about Paul McCartney."

"Paul who?" Leslie asked.

"You know. The Beatles."

"Oh," Leslie said mystified. She liked the Beatles okay but couldn't understand the hero worship puppy love that had infected an entire population of pubescent girls. "Well. You're pretty empathic."

"What's that mean?" Kristen said, puzzled.

"You sense other's feelings"

Kristen was amazed. "How'd you know that? Did you read it in the cards?"

"Yes. And I'm also empathic. Empathy's essential to good fortune telling,"

"You mean it's not all in the stars or the tea leaves or what ever?"

"No. You can tell a lot about a person if you're an empath. It'll help you with Ryan if you trust your senses and be open with Ryan about your own feelings. You and he should be able to get through this. Don't let Ryan substitute his judgment for yours. His is less likely to be sound than yours right now. He hasn't had the advantage of my sage wisdom." Leslie laughed. "At least not yet. He's likely to give you the 'you have the right to a normal life with a normal family' routine. And to an extent he's right. You're still a teenager."

"But that's not what I want. I want to be with him. I don't want to get stashed away at some stuffy college to waste four years of my life."

"Kristen," Leslie warned. "You're going to have to be patient. Your father planned to send you to college, didn't' he?"

"Yes, but…."

"You need to get an education. And you need a permanent home." 

"College isn't a home," Kristen said sullenly. 

"I know. But it's the best option. You can't stay here. I wish you could. But there's the matter of your safety. We want you as far away from the Company and the Cabal as possible."

"Why can't I stay with Ryan?"

"That would hardly be conventional." Besides, Ryan's work sends him all over the world. He doesn't know from one week to the next where he's going to be. He's committed to his cause and I doubt if he's ready to settle down. He's still very young too, you know?"

As the morning wore on the two women talked at length about Kristen's future and her relationship with Ryan. They day was warming up so around noon they adjourned to the porch with sandwiches and lemonade and continued their discussion. Leslie told Kristen about Ryan's childhood and about the school they wanted to send her to. By mid-afternoon Kristen was convinced of the rationality of the plan for her to go to college and was even beginning to be a little excited at the prospect.

They were talking about slipping out to go clothes shopping for Kristen when Ryan made his appearance.

Chapter

Ryan had fallen into a deep sleep the minute his head hit the pillow. He dreamed he and Kristen were on the run from…what? He woke in a cold sweat. Damn, I wish I could remember. His mouth tasted like a train wreck but he had managed to avoid the worst of a hangover. He'd expected to awaken with his conscience hurting like a sore tooth but instead had an unexpected feeling of well-being. I ought to feel guilty. The heck with it. I'm not sorry it happened. He yawned and stretched, and then looked at the clock. 2:30! Amazing. I hardly ever sleep this long uninterrupted. Just goes to show what good sex can do, he thought happily. What a minx that girl is. He became aroused again just thinking about her. His stomach rumbled. Worked up a heck of an appetite, too.

Ryan took a quick shower and shaved before making his way downstairs. As he walked through the living room he heard happy chatter coming from the porch. Good, he thought, they're getting along well. That'll make things easier. While he was in the shower he'd decided to talk to Kristen about having a normal teenage life. He hoped things wouldn't get awkward with her. 




No More Swedish Meatballs Pt. 03



He smiled as he walked out onto the porch. "Got any food for the battle weary?" he asked.

The two women stopped talking and grinned sheepishly. Kristen jumped up, tipping over her glass of lemonade in her haste to greet Ryan. She walked over to him and kissed him on the lips.

Ryan was startled. "That was a guilty kiss. What were the two of you talking about, or need I ask?"

Kristen blushed crimson.

"You, of course," Leslie said with a smile. "Did you have a good sleep? You earned it," she said cryptically.

"You told her," Ryan accused Kristen, not knowing how to react.

"I didn't," Kristen responded. She could tell just by looking at me. I'm not a very good actress." She sounded young and nervous. Leslie was right. This is going to be awkward.

Ryan groaned inwardly. Leslie's going to have my hide later.  But the thought didn't stop his heart from leaping at the sound of Kristen's voice. They looked into eachother's eyes.

Yes, the magic is still there they both thought relieved.

Leslie cleared her throat. "Sorry to interrupt this tender moment. You said you're hungry."

"I'm starved." He gave Kristen a heated glance. Kristen picked up the vibe and grinned.

How 'bout I fix you some lunch while the two of you talk?"

Ever the diplomat Ryan thought.

"That'd be great. Is there anymore lemonade? I'm dry as a desert."

"I wonder why," Leslie said archly. "I heard you stumble into bed at about six. Did you sleep well?

"Like a baby."

"That's good. "The lemonade's in the fridge. I'll bring you some. How does hamburger and a salad sound for lunch?"

"Great. But I don't want you to go to the trouble of cooking. I could just forage in the refrigerator, Ryan demurred.

"It's no trouble."

"Well, in that case, make it two burgers," Ryan said. 

"Okay," Leslie said. "What do you want on them?"

"What have you got?"

"Oh, your basic – cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, relish…."

"Leave out the kitchen sink. I'll take everything else," Ryan said laughing. "Meanwhile, I've got to check in. Can I borrow your phone?"

"Sure. It's in the foyer."

"Thanks"

Ryan was anxious to hear how things went last night. He wondered what sort of 'accident' they'd staged for Karl and when the news of his 'death' would come out. He dialed Jim Phillip's number at work.

Jim picked up on the first ring. He'd been pacing his office all day. Karl never made the call last night and was missing. So was Kristen. When Karl didn't show up at work Jim had looked for his research. It also was missing. He was relieved to hear Ryan's voice. "Ryan. Hi. What's going on? Is Karl with you/"

Ryan was perplexed. "What do you mean? I was just checking in to see how things went last night."

"Last night? Nothing happened last night. Karl never made the call. And now he and Kristen are missing."

Ryan was still a little dopy from sleep. It took him a minute to grasp what Jim was saying. "Kristen's not missing. She's with me at Leslie's. Sorry I didn't call last night. It slipped my mind. When and how is Karl's 'death' coming off?"

Jim was frustrated and angry. "You're not listening. We don't have Karl. He never called and he wasn't at home when they checked. He didn't show up for work. And his work is missing so that means he was here last night. I was hoping you'd know where he is. Thought maybe there was a change of plan and he was with you." He paused. "What's Kristen doing with you if you don't have Karl?"

Ryan was stunned. "Christ! Karl's missing? And his work? How'd that happen?"

"I don't know. I thought you were handling the matter."

"I was. But I took Kristen out to dinner. Karl needed some time to think things over. I didn't want to push him too hard and I wanted to divert Kristen. But she figured something was up and badgered me into telling her about the plan to fake Karl's death. So we decided it would be better for her to stay with Leslie for a while. Safer all around. Karl was gone when we stopped off to pick up some clothes and we assumed he was picked up. Hellfire. This is not good. Karl's out in the cold. He must have decided he didn't trust any of us." A grimmer possibility filtered into Ryan's mind. "Oh Christ. You don't think Max or someone from the Company….?"

"It's a possibility," Jim said grimly. "Damn it. How did this happen?"

"I'm sorry," Ryan said feeling guilty. His attraction to Kristen had clouded his judgment he decided. He should have stayed at the house while Karl read the Cabal material. "I knew he had reservations. He wanted to be left alone while he read the material. I never dreamed he'd take off. If that's what happened."

"We've got to find him. If they get him and his work…."

"Yeah," Ryan said heavily. "Look. I'm gonna talk to Kristen. Maybe she'll have an idea of where he would go if he wanted to disappear."

"What is it with you and Kristen? You're not…. She's just a kid. Keep your hands off of her. Do you hear me?"

Too late for that, Ryan thought ruefully. God, what a mess! Ryan dodged Jim's question. "Is there any way we can find out if the Cabal or the Company have Karl?"

"The Company doesn't have him," Jim said with exasperation in his voice. "I'd have heard by now if they did."

"So that leaves the Cabal or cold feet. Was his car at his house?"

"No. And it looks like he packed a bag. But that doesn't mean anything. They could have done that to throw us off track. God damn it. We should have been prepared for this."

"Let me go talk to Kristen. I'll call you back."

He placed the receiver into its cradle and started to go to the porch but stopped in mid-stride. He decided he needed a minute to collect his thoughts. What to do? he mused. What was I thinking? Christ, what a mess.

After he collected his thoughts he headed for the porch. Kristen and Leslie's animated chatter wafted through the hallway as he walked. They turned when the floor creaked as Ryan walked through the doorway. 

They looked at him expectantly. He cleared his throat.

"Kristen, we need to talk."

Uh oh. Those were four of Kristen's least favorite words. They almost always spelled trouble. She hid her concern behind her smile. "Okay. What about?" Her heart was in her throat.

"Do you want me to leave?" Leslie asked diplomatically, assuming it was about their relationship.

Ryan hesitated, then nodded. He'd already told her too much he decided. It's not that I don't trust her. But she's better off if she knows as little as possible.

Leslie stood. She looked at Kristen. "I'll be in the garden if you need me."

Kristen smiled gamely. "Thanks."

When Leslie left if was like the sun went behind a cloud. Kristen shivered inwardly. I wonder what's wrong?

"What's wrong Ryan? If it's about last night…."

Ryan cut her off, not wanting to muddy the waters. "We'll have to talk about that later. There's a problem. It seems you father's missing. And so's his research."

"Missing?" Kristen was confused. That was the last thing she expected to have been on the agenda for this afternoon's conversation. "I don't understand."

"Neither does anyone else. He never called my team last night. They assumed there'd been a change in plan and that you guys were with me. But when they went by your place late last night his car was gone. He never showed up at work."

Cold fear gripped Kristen. "Oh God, something's happened to him."

"That or he decided he didn't trust anyone."

"That'd be just like him," Kristen said, somewhat relieved. "I'll bet he's hiding out until he decides what to do.

"Do you have any idea where he might be?" Ryan asked.

Kristen paused before answering. How well do I really know this man? Sure, we hit it off to say the least. And he had that letter from Dad, but what if it was coerced? All of a sudden she was very frightened. She hadn't even waited for her father to come home before running off with Ryan. What if it was all a bunch of lies?

Ryan could tell what was running through Kristen's mind by the look on her face. "I'd better let you talk to Mr. Phillips before you answer that. Okay."

Kristen was vastly relieved. "Yeah. I'd like that."

They made the call. Kristen talked with Jim at length. Neither one of them had much of an idea where Karl might be. They decided to stick with the original plan of having Kristen stay with Leslie for the time being. The Company was going to go ballistic when it realized Karl was gone and if the Cabal didn't have him they, too, would be looking for him -- and for Kristen as well for leverage. Jim would clue Kristen's siblings in on the QT as to what happened. He wasn't sure yet whether to hide them or leave them where they were. So many decisions to make and so little time! When they finished talking he asked to speak with Ryan.

Kristen turned over the phone. Ryan waited expectantly for Kristen to leave the room. Kristen didn't go. Ryan said "do me a favor and get me a cup of tea."

"Okay," Kristen said reluctantly, wanting to hear what Ryan and Jim talked about.

"Thanks," he said, and paused, waiting until she was out of the room to talk to Jim.

So that's how he's going to play it, Kristen thought angrily Cover himself with a cloak of responsible adult versus kid as if last night didn't happen. Well he's not going to get away with it. She fumed as she put the pot on to boil.

Leslie was in the garden, wondering what going on. She figured it couldn't be good the way Kristen was clattering around in the kitchen. She though about going in to see if she could help but decided to let the pair try to sort things out themselves. 

Ryan was finishing his conversation with Jim when Kristen returned with the tea. She'd made a cup for herself. She figured this was as good a time as any to get things out in the open. 

"Ryan, about last night…." She hesitated, remembering what she and Leslie had discussed earlier. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Kristen," Ryan sighed, "as wonderful as it was, it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it happen."

"That's crap and you know it," Kristen spat out. "You didn't let it happen. It was meant to happen. And if you recall, I forced the issue. I'm not a kid."

"You're sixteen years old. Underage. I could get in a lot of trouble for what I did," Ryan said trying to make Kristen see reason.

"What we did - together. It was mutual. And you're only 24. Eight years older than me. Don't act like you're forty." 

"You've been talking to Leslie."

"That's right. And she made a heck of a lot more sense than you're making right now. You can't pretend it didn't happen. Or were you lying about your feelings for me?" Kristen said accusingly.

"No. Of course not. It's just… you have the right to your childhood."

"My childhood!" Kristen laughed bitterly. "I think my childhood ended yesterday when you walked in the door. My father's gone. I can't go home. You're the best thing that ever happened to me but you want to deny what's between us. You want to put me into a little mental box marked mistake and forget about me. Well I'm not going to let you away with it."

"That's not true," Ryan said heatedly.

"You're going to send me away to Ohio where you won't even have to think about me."

"That's not why…" Ryan began.

Kristen cut him off. She knew she was being capricious but didn't care. She knew school was the right answer for her once things settled down a bit. But Ryan's regrets and hand's off attitude hurt and she was going to make him pay for it.

"Sure it is. I'm not 'convenient.' You have your life and I don't fit in. Case closed."

Ryan placed his hands on Kristen's shoulders. She tried to shrug him off but he wouldn't let go. He made her look at him. "I'm not trying to 'get rid of you' Kristen," he said seriously. "I swear. Last night was … well I hope it was the beginning of something very special. But I can't do my job if I have to worry about your safety. So we're going to change your name and spirit you away for a while. To Antioch in Ohio. It's a great place. You'll like it and you'll meet a lot of interesting people close to your age."

"You mean boys," Kristen said sullenly. 

"Boys, girls, gorillas, whatever. You deserve a normal adolescence."

"That's what you think I am – a horny adolescent." Kristen needed to vent her anger.

"You are an adolescent. That's a fact not an insult."

You didn't think of me as an adolescent last night," Kristen pointed out.

"I should have," Ryan retorted. "I had no business taking advantage of you like that."

"Go to hell," Kristen replied furiously, holding back tears. "You didn't take advantage of me. I started it, remember?"

"And I should have stopped it," Ryan said heavily.

"So it's going to be like that is it? Leslie warned me. You – you're a coward," she said accusingly, then burst into tears and ran from the porch.

"Kristen wait," Ryan called after her. "I didn't mean…."

But Kristen was already out of earshot. 

Smooth work, ace, Ryan chastised himself. You alienated her and now she won't talk to me much less tell me where her dad might be. He cursed himself for an idiot. I don't understand teenagers. He stopped himself with a rueful laugh. Christ. I sound like I'm 48 not 24. When did I become such a stick in the mud? He tried to remember what it was like to be sixteen. It seemed like a thousand years ago. So much had happened in such a short time. The world was changing – spinning faster and faster. He wished he could take Kristen and jump off – or a least go to some place away from the intrigue , danger and corruption he faced every day. No. He wished he was going off to college with her. They would fall in love the right way.

Fall in love? That brought him up short. Is it possible I'm falling in love with a girl I've known less than 24 hours? God, it's so complicated, he sighed.

Chapter

Kristen had wanted to run straight to Leslie but something held her back. I just met her last night. Sure, she's great, but she's his sister. I know where her allegiance lies.  Suddenly Kristen longed for the simpler days when she and Rita went on make-believe adventures and had perfect romances with knights on white horses. 

I thought he was my knight. Boy was I wrong. She started to discount all the good energy between them.

Kristen stood in the hallway for a minute trying to decide what to do. Her pride wouldn't let her go to Leslie. I wish Lizzy was here. She'd know what to do. Kristen had spent a good part of her adolescence so far watching in awe as Lizzy spun a web of charm around most of her male classmates. I just don't have that' kind of magic she thought sadly, little knowing the havoc she'd wrecked on Ryan's heart. 

Kristen had her own natural charm but not Lizzy's ebullient charisma. In many ways Lizzy and Kristen were two sides of a coin. Kristen was an empath of high order. Lizzy was enchanting. She gathered friends like moths to light and filled them full of Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy until no one else was interesting. 

Lizzy didn't use her charm maliciously. At least not very often. She wasn't even aware of what she was doing most of the time. Lizzy was like the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very, very good. And so on. Lizzy had been a pretty good surrogate mother for Kristen much of the time. She could be loving and generous. Kristen remembered the times when they were very small that they would make up stories after lights out. Lizzy had a way of dispelling Kristen's fears and turning her tears into giggles under the covers.

I miss her, Kristen realized. And Rita. She wondered when she would see them again. What will Rita think when she realizes I've disappeared? Rita and Kristen had grown apart over the past couple of years. But a friendship like theirs was forever. Will she try to find me? I should call her – just to let her know I'm safe.

Kristen slipped into the living room and peered into the kitchen. Leslie was nowhere in sight. The telephone beckoned. Kristen picked up the receiver and dialed Rita's number. Luck was with her. Rita answered. 

"Hi. It's Kristen," she whispered into the phone.

"Kristen! Where are you? People have been asking questions about you and your dad," Rita said excitedly.

"I can't tell you but I'm safe. It's an adventure, she said using their code word."

"When are you coming home?"

"Not for a while. But I'll be in touch. Don't tell anyone you've heard from me. It's important."

"It goes back to Max and your mom, doesn't it?" Rita was quick on the uptake.

"Yeah. I got to go. But Rita, I met him."

"Him who?" Rita said, puzzled.

"My knight," Kristen replied cryptically. "Gotta go."

"Lucky dog," Rita said as she hung up.

Kristen felt a little better. She decided to go bend Leslie's ear.

Chapter

The Company was furious when Karl disappeared. Fortunately Karl made a clean break and Jim wasn't implicated. His position with the Company was safe, or so he thought. He was worried sick about Karl. At least I know Kristen's safe. But where the hell is Karl? He put out tentative feelers with the only source he had in the Cabal and waited. 

Two days passed and all he got from his connection was silence. If the Cabal had Karl they were keeping it close to the vest, which worried Jim. It meant they were afraid of a leak. Jim began to think his days as an agent were numbered. All he could think about was how Wanda and the kids would take it if he disappeared or had a fatal accident. It was time to get out he decided. There wasn't much keeping him in now that Karl was missing.

Jim contacted Ryan to let him know he wasn't as secure as he ought to be and was pulling out. Then he put in for some vacation time he had coming. He figured he ought to be able to make some new connections in the three weeks he had coming to him. No one would think it odd for him to take his family on a trip in June. Everyone took vacation in June. He hated to admit it but he was scared stiff.

His leave was granted a week after Karl disappeared. Jim was packing up his office the Friday before his vacation was to begin when a shadow fell across his desk. He looked up. Dave Hurst was standing in the doorway of his office.

Jim tensed. 

"Heard you're takin' a vacation," Hurst said. His pale blue eyes were cold.

"Yeah," Jim said lamely. "Summertime, you know, the wife and kids have been hankering for a real holiday for a long time."

"With you going and Karl gone off…, I don't suppose you know where old Karl's got to do you?"

Jim shrugged. "Strange, isn't it. Guess he got a wild hair or something. Well…., you know those genius types can be kind of peculiar. They get an idea and poof – off they go. He didn't say anything to me before he left."

"You sure of that? Funny, huh? And his little girl's gone too. How old's she, 14? 15?"

"Sixteen."

"Up and disappeared, like they was abducted by aliens or something. Or maybe an angel from heaven," Hurst said meaningfully.

Uh oh. What does he know? Jim thought worriedly. He tried to look as relaxed as possible. He laughed. "You've been reading some science fiction. 'smore likely he just decided to go walkabout."

"That wouldn't be very responsible of him. And Karl always struck me as pretty responsible. We invested a lot in that boy. I'd hate to think that he's come to some harm. I think maybe you and I should spend some time, put our heads together and figure out where Karl's got to."

Jim kept a gun his bottom desk drawer. Locked, of course. Lot of fucking good it's gonna do me tonight, he thought disgustedly. "I'd like to be of help, but I'm out of ideas." He looked at his watch. "I've got to go. Wanda and I have plans for the evening. He stood up and put his jacket on.




No More Swedish Meatballs



The lady of the house would almost always be dressed up in a marvelous witch costume. Her children, which to the gang were older than Methuselah, but who were really only college aged, also dressed for the occasion. They looked like the original Addams family. 

The main dining room would be all decked out for Halloween. There would be a buffet table spread out with Halloween treats. Sometimes there was apple cider or hot cocoa. 

As the evening progressed the youngest children were dropped off at home to head for bed with chocolate covered fingers. Then the older children ventured out to the furthest reaches of the neighborhood. Every one wanted to end up with the biggest haul of goodies. It was all over by nine-thirty. The Hansen kids would come home sweaty and pleased with themselves, empty their bags onto the living room floor and survey their booty. 

As the years passed, the older kids aged out of trick or treating. The group got smaller and smaller. Families moved away and new ones moved in. The magic dwindled and died. Kristen and Rita went trick or treating together one last time when they were twelve. They went through the entire neighborhood and then hit the new apartment complex next to the elementary school. 

It wasn't like the early days when there were about twenty kids in a pack all jumping out at each other, laughing and joking. It was just the two of them, rushing through to get as much candy as fast as possible. They had a wonderful time. They stayed out way too late and scared the wits out of their parents. Their bags were overflowing by the time they got home and the candy lasted until Easter. It was one of their last really good adventures together.

Time always seemed to slow down after Halloween. The three and a half weeks between Halloween and Thanksgiving seemed like an eternity. School dragged. The weather was dreary. Rita and Kristen were lacking in ideas about how to fill play time. 

One year the neighborhood kids divided themselves into rival gangs and staged a war which lasted from Labor Day until the first heavy snow fall. That was one of the best falls in Kristen's memory. Ned and his friends built a two story tree house in the pine tree behind the Hansen's house. The other team had a little club house a few doors away. Rita and Kristen were spies. 

This was during the height of the cold war. Secret codes and passwords were devised. Captives were taken. Secret alliances were made and betrayed. Ned and his friends invariably won since they had the height advantage. They brought up hoards of acorns and bombarded anyone who came into range. 

Rita and Kristen learned the delights of tree climbing that fall and spent hours atop the pine tree on windy days seeing who could go longest without holding on. They built their own little fort at the top of the tree. It’s amazing they didn’t fall out of the tree and break their necks. 

Ned was the only one who ever got hurt climbing a tree during the Hansen's childhood. Elizabeth never set foot in a tree. Rita and Kristen stuck to the pine, which was made for climbing. 

Ned became adventuresome. One icy January evening when Kristen was eight, Ned decided to venture into the huge old oak tree on the far side of the yard. Evelyn was on her way to pick Karl up at work. Ned tried to drop from one icy branch to another and fell about forty feet, breaking his elbow on the way down. He was lucky to get off that easily. He came into the house white as a sheet.

Elizabeth was a natural born nurse. She knew exactly what to do. Ned was resting comfortably when Evelyn and Karl got home. 

The whole family bundled into the car and off they went to the hospital. It was a forty five minute drive. What a nightmare. Karl went into diabetic shock during the trip because he didn't take time to eat before leaving the house. The kids were miserable the entire trip. Everyone was tired, hungry and out of sorts. Evelyn chain smoked the whole way.



After what seemed an eternity the family arrived at Bryn Mar Hospital. Then came the wait. It took hours, but finally Ned was seen by the emergency room doctor and x-rayed. More waiting. Ned got his cast and the family set out for home. Kristen was nearly fainting with hunger by then. 

It had been bitterly cold that night. The excitement of Christmas was long gone. They were well into the darkest days of winter. During the ride home Kristen wrapped herself in memories of the recent holiday season. She’d finally been old enough to participate in all the action instead of being the baby who got closeted away with mom whenever mom declared “nap time.” In years past mom had used Kristen as an excuse for a break from the intensity of Karl’s Christmas preparations. When mom had had enough she’d declare “Kristen’s tired. I have to get her down for a nap before she gets cranky.” Truthfully, Kristen would never get cranky if it meant she could stay with Karl and her siblings.

Last year she’d almost thrown a temper tantrum when she was pulled away from the tree decoration. But that would have disrupted the cease fire between Evelyn and Karl. Even at age seven Kristen knew what to expect if she threw a fit. “Goddamn it” Karl would snap. “Can’t you keep her quiet?” Evelyn would snarl something nasty in response, and the day would be ruined. Or maybe Karl would turn on Kristen saying “hush. Don’t be such a baby. You’re making a scene.” 

PCTS had been at its worst that year. You could cut the tension with a knife. Kristen didn’t know why Evelyn was mad all the time. The fights were loud and had scared Kristen until Elizabeth explained it was game adults played. Whatever it was, it was horrible. 

The fact of the matter was that Evelyn and Karl were basically incompatible. They were only a month apart in age but they were worlds apart. Karl was raised in poverty on the eastern seaboard by an alcoholic father and a martyr of a mother. Evelyn’s kin were mostly Mennonites. Her mother was teacher, and a sanctimonious tea-tottler. Her father was a good provider, even during the depression. But he was a bit of a brute. 

Evelyn was an unwanted child. When she was born they thought she dead so they wrapped her up in news paper and were about to throw her out when she emitted a wail. She was born an angry outsider and thus she remained until her dying day. Her childhood home was cold and loveless. But she was a bright child. School was her salvation. She was pretty with dark curly hair and whiskey brown eyes but had never learned to make friends. She spent her teenage years with her nose in a book, never going out on dates or attracting male attention. 

She was an intellectual who hid her loneliness with good grades and a scowl. She graduated high school with honors in 1946. Somehow she managed to win a scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania. Her father tried to stop her from going saying no daughter of his was going to college. She should stay home until she found a husband like a proper lady. But Evelyn was as stubborn as her old man. She braved his wrath and went off to Philadelphia to get her degree.

Her first year was wonderful. Evelyn loved the intellectual atmosphere. She hung out with the socialists who taught her to smoke, drink beer and argue. She sucked up the political dogma. She finally got the nerve up to go out on a few dates set up by friends she met in the student union. That’s where she met Max. Max was a darkly mysterious, older student who spoke quietly and ardently against the ruling class and spouted passages from Marx and Trotsky. He was fascinating; magnetic. Evelyn was drawn to his hard, rugged body and aura of danger. She felt sexy and exciting around him. 

Max happily took Evelyn to bed. He was hungry for a lover and Evelyn’s underlying anger fueled his passion. He took her virginity with a smile on a steamy night in his grubby little apartment on the outskirts of Philadelphia. He had just gotten back from an assignment in Austria. He was still sweaty from travel when he called Evelyn at her dormitory.

“Hey,” he said. “I missed you.”

Evelyn was thrilled to hear his voice. It was deep and throaty. She hadn’t heard it in a while. “Hi. You’re back. Where’ve you been?”

“I can’t say. I’m starving, I don’t have a crumb in this apartment to eat and I’m dying to see you.”

Evelyn went weak at the knees. She looked at her watch. It wasn’t too late. It was Saturday night so she could go out for a few hours without getting into trouble. The rules for ladies at Penn were strict but not as bad as at some schools. 

“I think I can get out for a while. What did you have in mind? Do you want to meet me somewhere?”

“No, love, here’s the thing.”

Love! He’s never called me that before,” she thought, her pulse quickening.

“I need a shower,” he continued, “and I’m pretty ragged from traveling. Do you think you could pick up something we could eat at my apartment? I’d give you the money back of course.”

Evelyn hesitated. She wasn’t stupid. She knew where this was leading. Did she want to go to bed with him? Yes, desperately. But should I? Oh God. This could be my one chance. I can’t risk losing him. But I might lose him if I give in. No. He’s not like that. He’s nothing like my father or the men I’m always reading about. Be 

“Evelyn? Are you still there?” Max knew by the pause that if she said yes she’d be saying yes to everything.

“Yes.” Her voice was a little shaky. “What kind of food should I bring? And do you want beer?” Beer will make it easier. 

“No. Wine would be nicer, don’t you think?” he said smoothly, “that is, if you have the cash. And maybe something Italian? I could really go for spaghetti. How does that sound?

“It sound’s great. It’ll take a little while though.” He heart was pounding furiously.

“Get here soon, Evelyn. I’m very hungry,” he said in a voice that was half growl, half laugh as he hung up the phone.

Evelyn felt a throbbing deep inside she’d never experienced before. Oh, God it’s hot in here, she realized she was drenched. I’ll have to bathe before I leave the house.

It was eight in the evening by the time she got to Max’s apartment. She’d stopped to pick up some sandwiches at a nearby deli but the liquor store had been closed. She was hot and sweaty and jumpy as a cat when she hit the buzzer to Max’s apartment. She’d never been there before.

He let her in with a sexy smile. “Food!” he exclaimed. You’re my savior!”

“The liquor store was closed. I couldn’t get anything to drink,” Evelyn said nervously.

“That’s okay. I found a bottle after I got off the phone with you. Can I pour you some?”

“Yes,” Evelyn replied. “Please. I’m dying, it’s so hot out. And humid. I can take the heat but not the humidity.”

Max poured some wine into a couple of jelly glasses. Then he led her to the living area where there was a dilapidated couch, a coffee table and an end table and a patched-up floor lamp. “Not very elegant, I’m afraid.”

Evelyn took a long sip from her glass and looked around the small, squalid apartment. “It’s great,” she said. 
”Compared to my dorm room this place is heaven. You even have a balcony.” She pointed at the fire escape and laughed. “Are you hungry?” she rattled the bag of food. “It’s just sandwiches. I couldn’t get Italian food. Not on such short notice.”

“Starved.” He opened the sack and pulled out the sandwiches. “What have we got here?”

“Pastrami on rye with mustard or roast beef. You can have either one. I’m not choosy,” Evelyn said.

“I’ll take the pastrami.” Max bit into the sandwich hungrily. 

Evelyn’s glass was empty. 

“More wine?” he asked handing her the roast beef sandwich.

“Please.”

He divided the remaining wine between them. They ate their meal in silence.

Evelyn usually had a good head for wine but this evening her head was spinning. There was little ventilation in the apartment and the day’s heat hadn’t yet dissipated. It was stifling in the apartment. Evelyn thought she’d better leave. She started to stand. Max stopped her.

“You’re not leaving are you?” he asked. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her so she was facing him. He kissed her. It was a long, hot, sensual kiss. Evelyn’s body responded. She’d never felt such sensations. 

They necked on the couch for a while. Max was an experienced and able lover. When he sensed Evelyn was ready he led her to the bedroom. He drew her to the bed and pulled her down on top of him. He unbuttoned her blouse and reached behind to unclasp her bra.

She gasped.

“Shhh.” Max said. They were kneeling face to face on the bed within a whisper of each other. Max removed her blouse, then her bra. He cupped her full breasts in his hands. “They’re lovely,” he whispered. He caressed her nipples and they hardened under his finger tips. Evelyn felt a jolt of desire. He reached under her skirt to unfasten her nylons. They came off easily. Then he touched her in a place so secret she never knew it existed. She almost fainted from the sensation. Her panties and skirt were gone. She didn’t notice.

Max sensed she was ready. He slid a finger deep into Evelyn’s vagina while he used his thumb to play with her clit. She jerked like she’d been struck by lightening. Her orgasm was hot, intense and she cried out loud as she came.

Max rolled onto her and entered her quickly. She felt a stab of pain and knew she was no longer a virgin. Max rode her with hard, bold strokes. She came a second time. He pumped faster and more urgently and yelled out her name as he poured into her. Evelyn!! Then it was over. They lay still for a while.

A storm came up as they lay together in Max’s bed. The apartment was dark except for the glow from their cigarettes and the lightening flashes which illuminated the room again and again. They listened to the thunder as the storm rolled in. It was short but violent, like their lovemaking. 

When the storm started to let up Evelyn looked at her watch and sighed. 10:30. She was going to get in trouble for staying out so late. She didn’t care. 

“I’d better get back to the dorm,” she said to Max. She slid out of bed and started to put on her clothes. Suddenly she felt shy and awkward. 

Max lay in bed watching her dress. The evening had been a treat. Great sex: Both hot and earthy. “I’ll walk you back,” he said. I think I’ll keep her around for a while, he thought during the walk. They held hands as they walked through the misty drizzle which was what remained of the storm. They kissed goodnight under a streetlight. “I’ll call you soon.”

“Promise?” Evelyn asked worriedly. She knew the score. You got dropped if you gave it up too easily.

“Yes,” Max said, looking her straight in the eye. 

Max was true to his word. He called her often and they slipped into an easy, casual affair. That was how Max played it. Max’s politics were ephemeral – at least they seemed so to Evelyn. He heatedly about the atrocities he’d seen in Europe during the war and of the challenge of post-war reconstruction. He talked about the hardships being faced by the Jews in their new state, Israel. He hated communism and everything that was happening behind the iron curtain. He drew Evelyn into a circle of friends who he said were taking action instead of wasting their time arguing and swilling beer. They were going to stamp out communism. Of course he never said how they were doing it. Max had a clever tongue and Evelyn didn’t think it was strange that most of his friends had Germanic surnames. None of his friends were Jewish, either, but Evelyn didn’t think anything of it. Not for many years to come. 

Max came and went like a ghost. He would disappear for weeks at a time and come back smoldering with pent up rage. Evelyn never asked him where he went. Once in a while he would ask her to run a special errand for him. Evelyn found it thrilling.

Max knew he could depend on her to do what she was told with out asking questions. She was a real asset.

Evelyn’s scholarship ran out after junior year. She asked her father for tuition. He refused. He wanted Evelyn home where she belonged. Evelyn was furious. She told her father to go to hell. She never wanted to see him again. She could make it on her own. 

And she did. She typed for a living and wore hand sewn clothes her mother sent her on the sly. She didn’t have much time to hang out with the crowd which made her pretty angry. And then Max disappeared. She was devastated but she put on a good show for her fellow students and went on to finish her degree.

After she graduated she landed a job as a Probation Officer in Philadelphia. Her father thought she was an unnatural female for not settling down right away to start a family. But the job was great. The Judge she worked for thought the world of her. And she got to travel, taking poor little Negro children to places like Baltimore and Corpus Christi. 

She lived in a boarding house with a number of other single young professionals know as the co-op house. Max re-appeared in the summer of 1949. He had changed a lot. He was no longer interested in Evelyn. At least not as a lover. He was cool and hard, and very intense. He didn’t offer an explanation for his disappearance, or his change of heart. He never talked about politics or the war or, much of anything for that matter. 

Karl Hansen showed up at the co-op house that fall. He was 26 and had just graduated from college. He’d missed out on the war because his job in Bridgeport was essential. 

Karl Hansen was very different from Max. He was a shy, bookish young man. A scientist. He had a job in some corporation which he never talked about. He didn’t look very strong or athletic. He was almost six feet tall, had black hair, misty grey eyes and Evelyn was sure he was a virgin. 

Evelyn was still in love with Max but Max rebuffed her advances. Inside she was furious but she swallowed her anger. She decided she’d take what she could get for the time being. She was sure she could bring Max around. Max, Karl and Evelyn became close friends. Sometimes they prowled the clubs at night. Evelyn loved the night life. 

It was a very happy time for Evelyn except she was getting older and was still unmarried. 

As Christmas approached Evelyn got to know Karl a little better. They had both grown up in house holds where education was sacred. They shared a love of books. Karl had been a sickly youngest child who had been dragged around from customer to customer and bar to bar by his father. The family lived off his mother’s salary. Britta was a Swedish immigrant who cooked in a Southern Italian restaurant. Every Christmas his mother toiled to set out a savory Swedish smorgasbord.

Evelyn had a lot on her mind on New Years’ Eve. Her New Years resolution was to find a husband. She yearned for Max. She was sure she was getting to him. The trio had decided to ring in the New Year together. Evelyn put on her finest attire. She made up her face. Fixed her hair. Gritted her teeth. I’m going to resolve this tonight she swore.

The three revelers went out to dinner. They drank and had a good time. They decided to go dancing. Evelyn pulled out all the stops for Max but he remained impassive. So Evelyn turned her charms on Karl.

Karl had little head for drink, despite the evenings of clubbing and cards. And he had no experience with women. He had been a sensitive child and a pudgy, overly intelligent youth. Karl was, in fact, a virgin. To sum it up he was ripe for the picking. It was a slam dunk. Evelyn had Karl in bed before the clock struck twelve. Sex with Karl was completely different than with Max.

Karl lost his virginity in a drunken haze which he barely remembered afterwards. He’d been hard from the moment Evelyn started flirting with him. When they finally got to his room he was in a frenzy of desire. He struggle ineptly with Evelyn’s clothing until she was ready to scream with frustration. Finally she helped him take off her clothes and slid into bed. Karl stood at the side of his bed in his underwear looking like a startled deer. 




No More Swedish Meatballs



“Come to bed,” Evelyn whispered seductively.

Karl complied. But he came almost before he got through the gate. He clutched at her as he climaxed and then fell fast asleep. 

After a few minutes Evelyn signed and lit a cigarette. She lay in bed next to Karl in the dark missing Max and thinking what have I done? Maybe if I leave now he won’t remember. She wondered what she should do about her New Year’s resolution as she dressed. Maybe I should marry Karl, she thought. Everyone I know is married and starting to have children. I don’t want to be left out. But she couldn’t forget the feel of Max’s hard body which was so different from Karl’s. No. I’m going to forget this ever happened she decided.

But Karl and Evelyn blew it on the home front. Their indiscretion on New Year’s Eve got Karl kicked out of the boarding house. The sexual encounter turned into a debacle. Karl could barely look Evelyn in the face. 

Max and Karl teamed up and found Karl a great apartment. All of a sudden Evelyn was out of the loop. Max treated her with angry scorn. Her sorrow and desperation turned into a burning red coal of anger. She steamed for a while and then the formed a plan. She didn’t know if she’d go through with it until one day in late February when Max let slip that Karl was laid up with a rotten cold. Evelyn made up a big pot of chicken soup and headed for Karl’s apartment.

Karl was surprised to see Evelyn and was in need of nurturing. Evelyn made a great Florence Nightingale. Just when he was on the mend, she let him catch her crying.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, bewildered.”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” she sobbed. I didn’t want you to know. It’s not your problem. We’re not together so….”

“What is it?” Karl persisted.

“I missed my period,” she blurted out. Scarlet O’Hara couldn’t have played it any better.

Karl felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. But part of him was secretly trilled. That’ll show my damn brother. First time out of the gate and bulls eye. He didn’t think. He reacted.

“Oh, hey, Evelyn, don’t cry,” he said feeling very manly. “It’s my responsibility. We, well, we’ll get married.

Evelyn cried even harder. Here it was: the grand proposal. Where’s the goddamned violins and roses. She lit a cigarette, blew out the smoke angrily.

“No. It’s not your fault. I made this mess. I’ll find a way to clean it up.

Karl was amazed, and stung. “What do you mean? I was there too, remember. That’s my kid you’re talking about.

Oh yeah, I remember all too well Evelyn thought angrily. But in for a penny, in for a pound.

“I’m not even certain yet. It hasn’t been long enough to be sure.” She gave him a chance to back out.

“Well,” Karl blushed. He’d never talked with a woman about ‘these things.’ How, er… how late are you?”

“Late,” Evelyn said shortly.

“Are you, um, regular, um, I mean usually.”

Evelyn was getting irritated by his timidity. “I’m very regular. I’m like a blasted clock.” There’s a nail in your coffin. She lit another cigarette. 

She was trembling, and started crying again. “I wouldn’t want to marry a guy who was tying the knot just because I’m, you know….

“Pregnant.” Now Karl was irritated. “You can say the word. Not saying it won’t make it go away. Anyway, I wouldn’t be marrying you only for that. We get along swell. At least we did before New Year’s Eve.

Evelyn brightened. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. You and me, and Max, we had a blast, didn’t we

“Yeah. Max can be our best man. Karl was getting charged up. “After all, this is what life is all about. We’re not kids anymore. It’s about time to settle down. I’ve got a good job. We can get a car if we save. Maybe even a house in the suburbs. Do you like dogs? You know, this could be the best thing that’s ever happened to us.”

Evelyn was astonished at his enthusiasm. On one hand, she felt like a heel. But the words coming out of Karl’s mouth were like music to her love-starved ears.

“What do you say we seal the pact? Evelyn said suggestively.

“You mean here, now?”

“Why not? This is your place. No one’s going to kick you out this time.

Karl laughed with abandon. “You’re right. It’s my own damn place, thanks to you.”

“Thanks to us.”

And low and behold, the sex was actually more than adequate this time.

Evelyn was vastly relieved. She’d been vindicated as a woman and felt only mildly guilty. After all Karl was happy, wasn’t he?

He was. 

Karl was proud to have a fiancé. In fact, he was the one who made the plans for the small wedding which was to be held in March. Evelyn had assumed they’d just get a license and go to the Courthouse. Karl had other ideas. “After all, you only get married once, right?” Karl wanted to include the gang from the boarding house and even suggested that Evelyn invite her parents and siblings. An idea Evelyn loudly rejected.

So far that was the only fly in the ointment. Evelyn spent several nights a week at Karl’s apartment hoping to make the lie a reality. She found a dozen reasons to put off the pregnancy test.

Evelyn even started to look pregnant. She had the kind of build that even a little extra went straight to her waist and hips. Karl was thoroughly fooled. But he insisted that Evelyn get obstetric care as soon as possible. Evelyn made an appointment with a local doctor at a time she was sure Karl would be unavailable. She told him she’d rather go alone anyway. 

So off she went feeling like a fool. She didn’t have a plan and was nervous as hell when she entered the waiting room. There was another woman waiting so Evelyn took a chair off to the side and lit a cigarette with trembling fingers. The nurse misinterpreted her nervousness and gave her a sympathetic smile while handing her a form to fill out. 

The office was artificially cheery. It was done up in “Harvest Gold” wall paper and matching plastic chairs. Evelyn blew smoke rings while she filled in the required medical information. When she handed in her form the nurse gave her a glass specimen bottle. Evelyn looked at the woman blankly.

“You have to give us a urine sample, dear,” the nurse explained. 

“Oh,” Evelyn said, feeling stupid. “But I don’t have to go.”

“There’s plenty of time,” the nurse assured her. “Just leave it on the counter.”

After about twenty minutes a heavily pregnant woman waddled out of the back room and the woman ahead of Evelyn was called into the examining room. Then a pretty blond woman walked in. She looked as nervous as Evelyn felt. They half-smiled at each other. When the woman checked it with the nurse she also was given a specimen bottle. 

“Put the sample on the counter,” the nurse told the blond. A moment later the nurse was called into the examining room. The blond stepped into the powder room. She came out with a full bottle. Evelyn looked at her watch. “Oh, no,” she said to the woman. I have an errand that I have to run. If they call me could you tell the nurse I’ll be right back? You can go a head of me if you want.”

The blond smiled. “I am in kind of a hurry, thanks.”

Evelyn left the room. Her heart was pounding. She took the elevator down to the floor below and went into the restroom. She filled her specimen bottle, smoked a cigarette and waited. After fifteen minutes she returned to the doctor’s office. The examining room was empty. The blond was in with the doctor. As was the nurse. The blond’s specimen was still on the counter. Evelyn made a swap. Now it’s up to fate, she thought to herself. 

After another few minutes the blond woman reappeared. She nodded at Evelyn as she left the office. 

The nurse called Evelyn’s name. “Were you able to fill your bottle?” she asked. Evelyn handed her the specimen and went in to talk to the doctor. “You’re going to label the bottles, aren’t you?” she asked the nurse as she walked past. “I wouldn’t want you to get them mixed up.”

The nurse said “of course. Don’t worry. We’re very careful.” Evelyn smiled. Then she looked at her watch. “Oh no, look at the time. I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to come back some other time to see the doctor. Could you give me another date?”

The nurse pulled her calendar out looking annoyed. “Next time plan your morning a little better please,” and gave her a date in two weeks.

“I will. I’m sorry. You can call me here with the lab results,” she said, leaving the number at Karl’s apartment.

“Alright. You’ll hear from us in about a week.”



“Thanks.” Evelyn was light-headed and full of adrenaline when she walked out of the building. I can’t believe I pulled that off, she thought. I need a drink. On her way back to the boarding house she stopped at a bar and ordered a martini. It was the first time she’d ever gone to a bar alone. It was a liberating feeling.

A week later the obstetrician called Evelyn at Karl’s apartment. “The rabbit died,” Evelyn told Karl calmly. 

Karl wanted to do things right. He wanted things to be different for his child than they were for him. When he got the news about the lab test he went out and bought Evelyn an engagement ring and matching wedding band. Evelyn was overwhelmed. She burst into tears when Karl presented her with the ring.

The man was so good and so sweet. Evelyn wished she could love him. But every time she looked at him she thought of a fawn caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. And she was the truck!

She tried to get into the mood for the Episcopal wedding ceremony Karl arranged but couldn’t eat or sleep for the two weeks preceding the wedding. She felt horribly guilty. To her horror she started to lose weight. When she realized her period was going to arrive just like clock work she thought so much for making the lie become true. What the Hell am I going to do? 

The wedding was anti-climatic. It took place on a cool, wet, late March afternoon. The gang from the boarding house came out in support. Many of them seemed embarrassed by the ceremony. 

Max stood up as Karl’s best man. He wouldn’t look Evelyn in the eye. 

After the ceremony there was a small reception at the boarding house. The women, ashamed that they hadn’t bothered to put a bridal shower together for Evelyn prior to the wedding went all out for the reception. There was a buffet supper and the living room was set up for dancing. There was even a four piece swing band. Evelyn and Karl were thoroughly drunk by the time the cake was brought out.

One of the women gave Evelyn a garter which Max, deeply embarrassed, slipped off Evelyn’s thigh. In thanks, Evelyn gave him a deep, hot kiss – the kiss she’d been longing to give him for so long. Karl was outraged but said nothing. 

As the party wound down ribald jokes and innuendos flew. Evelyn didn’t mind. In fact, she loved the attention. As she got louder and more outrageous Karl seemed to sink into himself. 

Max saved the day by presenting the couple with the gift of a honeymoon at Niagara Falls. Max had gassed up his own car, decorated it for the occasion, and blown a week’s pay on three nights at a decent hotel. Evelyn and Karl were flabbergasted by Max’s generosity.

“Well,” he said with a rueful grin, “I got you guys into this so it’s the least I could do.” Karl didn’t know what Max meant. Evelyn was enraged by the comment but kept her anger to herself. To top it all off, her period was due in a couple of days. That’ll be just dandy. I’ll get my period in the middle of the honeymoon. What am I going to do? Why the hell couldn’t I have gotten pregnant?

When the party finally ended Evelyn went upstairs to gather together the last few personal items she had at the rooming house. Married she thought. The word echoed dully in her mind. Mrs. Karl Hansen. That didn’t sound any better. Maybe I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole she thought drunkenly. I’ll wake up and be myself again. But that didn’t happen.

“Evelyn,” Karl called from below, “what’s taking so long? It’s getting late.”

As Evelyn picked up her overnight bag she caught a glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror. She didn’t like what she saw. My misspent youth is over. She wanted to cry. As she stood in the mirror she imagined herself in all her permutations and her possible selves. She saw herself as an unwanted infant fighting for life, then an odd ball kid during the ‘30’s. She saw a gawky teenage duckling turn swan during her college years. Shed’ been pretty, she remembered (failing to see the beauty that remained.) She had wildly curly auburn hair and whiskey brown eyes which were level and intelligent. She peered at herself through the thick glasses she’d worn since she was eight years old. Her nose was gentle and her chin firm. She had high cheek bones and a stubborn mouth.

She was short - not quite five foot two and she’d been almost too thin in college. She’d never had the luxury of fashionable clothing. She’d always stuck with the home-made clothing her mother sent her year after year. The clothes were frumpy and often out of date. But the price was right.

Evelyn had grown into her body. She had a womanly build with full hips and breasts. She now had to wear a girdle to keep her stomach flat.

I could be pregnant, she thought as she gazed at herself sideways, sticking her stomach out a bit.

“Come on Evelyn,” Max and Karl shouted. Let’s go.

Evelyn tromped down the steps with her overnight bag in hand. The rest of her possessions had already been moved into Karl’s apartment. They were going to live there for the time being, which was fine with Evelyn. She loved city life. 

It was freezing out and sleeting hard when they left the boarding house. They were lucky to have Max’s car although the apartment was only a mile and a half away. They were quiet during the drive, both lost in thought.

Please God, hold my period off for a couple more days, Evelyn silently prayed. An inkling of a plan was gestating in her mind. If her period came during the honeymoon she’d fake morning sickness, then send Karl off to sight see. She’d fake a fall. By the time Karl got back the “miscarriage” would be over and done with. Her periods were always very heavy. Hopefully Karl would buy the story. She’d be stoic about the whole thing and refuse medical help. She’d say she didn’t want to burden them with bills at the beginning of their life together. “After all,” she imagined herself saying to Karl, “women have been miscarrying without doctors for eons.” 

Evelyn felt better now she had a plan. She smiled and laughed when Karl gallantly carried her over the threshold of their apartment.

They were both still pretty drunk when they got home. Their love-making efforts were half-hearted and ended up with Karl falling asleep in mid stroke. Evelyn rolled out from under him, got up and slipped on a bathrobe. He wasn’t a bad looking man. So what was the problem? She wondered. Why don’t I feel anything? Restless, she lit a cigarette and poured herself a shot of bourbon. The acrid smoke brought tears to her eyes. She sat in the dark sipping bourbon and watching the angry red coal of her cigarette burn down.

On the last day of their honeymoon when Evelyn sadly told him she’d miscarried while he was out enjoying the sights. Karl was horrified. He held her tenderly while she cried her eyes out. On one level he was sad to have lost the child. But he was also relieved. The thought of impending parenthood had begun to scare him. He was beginning to realize he and Evelyn barely knew each other. He thought it was a good thing they’d have some time to catch their breath and live a little before taking on the yoke of parenthood.

Evelyn jokingly offered a divorce the day after the “miscarriage.” Karl wouldn’t hear of it. He was happy with his prize. They agreed to wait a while before having children.

Max went out of town while Evelyn and Karl were on their honeymoon. He stopped by when he returned and was stunned to find Evelyn thin and spry and not pregnant. Frankly, he was suspicious. He took Karl aside and asked him if he’d actually seen the results of the pregnancy test. Karl was furious at the suggestion he might have been duped. A little knot of worry began to grow in the back of Karl’s mind.

Several weeks later he called the obstetrician to ask about the test. He was relieved to hear that yes, Evelyn had, in fact, been pregnant. Unfortunately he let slip to Evelyn that he spoke to her doctor. Evelyn went ballistic and they had the first of their many hot, bitter fights.

“Why don’t you just say it?” Evelyn stormed. “You feel like you were trapped into marriage.”

“That’s not true. I just wanted to be sure….”

“Be sure of what? That I was really pregnant? You don’t trust me. You think I made up the pregnancy to get you to marry me. Ha! As if I were that desperate.” Evelyn acted like the cornered animal she had become. She wanted to hurt Karl. “Do you think I would have married you if I wasn’t pregnant?”

“I think you would have married anyone wearing pants,” Karl retorted. “After Max turned you down, that is.”

“Why. You bastard!” Evelyn hauled off and punched Karl in the face. Karl hit back. He’d been bullied a lot by his older brothers when he was little. He could give as good as he got. It was a mean, dirty fight and it didn’t end up in the bedroom like it does in the movies. Instead it ended up with Karl storming out and Evelyn throwing a plate at his retreating back. Evelyn nursed a black eye with a water glass full of vodka. Then she took a bath and went to bed locking the bedroom door behind her.

Secret guilt is a dangerous burden to carry. It festers. Evelyn might have become obsequious in her guilt but instead her self-loathing became a bitter, seething rage. She knew she was wrong, but couldn’t admit it having gone so far out on a limb.

Karl didn’t come home until long after Evelyn was asleep. He didn’t have a black eye, but he had a few bruises. He was miserable. He’d decided Evelyn’s anger was an expression of her sorrow over losing the unborn child. He felt like a heel and was embarrassed they’d actually come to blows. He was ready to make amends but found the bedroom door locked. So he went to sleep on the couch.

Evelyn awoke before Karl the next morning. She felt rotten when she saw him curled up like a little boy on the couch. She wanted to burry the hatchet but was afraid to wake him up. So she set about making breakfast. Karl awoke a half hour later to a gourmet breakfast. He was appalled when he saw Evelyn’s eye. Evelyn’s guilty conscience made her turn away from him when he started to apologize. Karl mis-read the body language and assumed Evelyn was still angry. They ate breakfast silently, afraid to look each other in the eye. Nothing was said of the fight. Karl Thanked Evelyn for breakfast; kissed her goodbye and went to work.

Karl found solace in his work. Karl had friends at work, but they rarely talked about personal matters. Karl spent the day lost in his projects and put the fight behind him. He promised himself it would never happen again.

Evelyn tried her best to cover the black eye but her make up only made it look worse. She was stuck in the apartment until the bruise healed. She was damned if she was going looking like she’d been beaten up by her husband. Only trashy couples got into fist fights. 

They never spoke of the fight. Instead they pretended it never happened, and things settled down for a while. Both Karl and Evelyn were avid Pinochle players. They started having friends over on Friday nights to drink beer, play cards and talk politics. It was almost like the good old days at the rooming house. Max even started showing up again. For all outward appearances the couple settled well into married life. But there was a little black spot of rot on the core of their union.

Evelyn became pregnant for real the next fall. It was an easy pregnancy. Evelyn and Karl were both excited by the prospect of parenthood. Evelyn had gone from full time to part time work after the wedding. Karl managed to squeeze a raise out of his company when Evelyn got pregnant so Evelyn was able to quit when the pregnancy started to show.




No More Swedish Meatballs



The raise was conditioned upon Karl’s transfer to the company’s plant in Paoli. Paoli was the last stop on “the main line” – Philadelphia’s main suburban train line. Evelyn started taking the train from Philadelphia to Paoli while Karl was working to look for a house near the plant. They settled into their little duplex in April. Ned was born three months later. 

Evelyn had weathered the pregnancy and the move very well. She’d actually liked being pregnant. She didn’t, however, take to motherhood as readily. Bottle feeding was coming into fashion which suited Evelyn just fine. She’d almost freaked out the few times she’d tried to nurse Ned. The feeling of him sucking and tugging on her breasts was too overwhelmingly sexual for her. She couldn’t relax and enjoy the sensation. She had Ned weaned to the bottle within a week.

Karl and Evelyn were like two strangers sharing a child, meals and a bed during their first year in Paoli. They were intimate sexually but not emotionally. They barely knew what to say to each other when they were together. Evelyn didn’t like Paoli. She was having a hard time adjusting to suburban living. She didn’t have anything in common with the other housewives who made tentative efforts to include her in the usual female suburban activities, like the garden club, and the coffee club. All they ever thought about was babies, husbands and housework. Their conversation was inane. It drove Evelyn to the brink of insanity. By the end of Ned’s first summer Evelyn had gained 10 pounds and had big chip on her shoulder. “I want to move back to Philadelphia,” was the usual opening volley on Friday night.

Karl’s work was demanding and not something he could talk about. He was mentally drained when he got home from work. He’d eat dinner without saying much. Then he’d sit with Ned for a while. It didn’t matter if Ned was asleep. Karl just liked to be with his son. He liked seeing the subtle day to day changes in the infant’s development. He didn’t mind the diapering and feeding, and he often sang soft lullabies in Swedish as night crept in to the little home.

After he was done with Ned, Karl would brave a few hours with Evelyn. Evelyn, Karl discovered, was great at hating things. From about 8:00 to 11:00 Karl and Evelyn would sit on the front porch in the sultry night air sipping beer and trying to communicate. Sometimes Evelyn would go on about this or that politician. Karl would try to be interested. He used to find Evelyn’s talk interesting. What happened? He wondered one night when he found himself solving a problem from work in his head while he listened to Evelyn with one ear. Is this what all married couples go through?

Evelyn became restless on weekends. Karl loved Paoli. He loved his yard. All he wanted to do on the weekends was garden, or some carpentry, or little odd jobs around the house. Evelyn wanted to get a sitter and go out. She missed being able to go to the movies or a play at the drop of a hat. She found Paoli stultifying. Weekends were the worst. 

At first Evelyn was soothed if she could have a beer or three on Friday and Saturday night. So Karl started buying a case from the local distributor every Friday night after work. Beer became a habit with Evelyn. As summer slipped into fall Evelyn started drinking almost every day. She wanted Karl to drink with her but he couldn’t keep up. He started getting terrible hangovers which hurt his work performance so he gave up drinking altogether.

Thanksgiving was coming up and Evelyn had never felt so alone in all her life. Ned was no company. She hadn’t made any friends. One night she started to bug Karl about getting a television. 

“I’m here all alone with the baby all day,” she yelled. “There’s nothing to do in Paoli. I have no one to talk to. It would give me something to do. I could keep up with what’s happening in the world.”

“It’s an idiot box,” Karl said scornfully. You have better things to do that sit around watching a stupid box. There’s plenty of house work to keep you busy. Or there would be if you’d bother to do it.”

“What do you know?” Evelyn flung back. “You sit all day in your Goddamn office doing all your mucky-muck calculations. You’ve lost the ability to communicate. When you come home you won’t talk to me. You say more to Ned in an hour than you do to me in a week. What do I do all day? Clean the house for you; take care of Ned for you; shop for you; cook for you, wash your Goddamn clothes. To Hell with you and to hell with your house. I’m leaving!” She made a grab for the car keys but Karl was faster. 

He grabbed the keys. “You’re not going anywhere,” he said angrily. “It’s dark outside and you’re drunk.”

Evelyn pushed him hard and he shoved her back. She fell. “You son of a bitch,” she roared as she got up. She picked up an ashtray and sent it sailing by his head. Karl grabbed her arms and twisted them behind her back, and she started kicking. They grappled with each other for a few minutes. Then Evelyn sunk her teeth into Karl’s shoulder. He cried out and let go of her. She ran upstairs crying and locked herself and Ned in the bedroom. She refused to come out. Karl got into the car and started driving.

He drove around the country side for about an hour before he started to calm down. What in the hell am I doing with my life? I want out. He started to think about divorcing Evelyn. Then he realized the trap he was in. I’d have to make enough for her and Ned as well as myself. And God, I don’t want Ned growing up with just her as a parent. She’d ruin him. No one would give me custody and I couldn’t take him anyway. I have to work.

Karl started to think of all the things he wanted for his son – things his parents hadn’t given him. A stable home. Security. Little things like books and a nice yard to play in. A mother who didn’t have to struggle every day to put food on the table. A real father he could depend on to teach him all the things Karl had to learn the hard way. He wanted his son to grow up knowing he had a bright future ahead, including college and beyond if that’s what he wanted. None of this would be possible if Karl walked out on Evelyn. He also knew deep down that Evelyn wasn’t capable of raising a child alone. Karl had seen how Evelyn would space out at times. And she was just a little too fond of the bottle. He got a cold chill realizing Evelyn might walk the same road as his father, and become despicable drunk full of talent but unable to accomplish anything. Karl hardened his resolve and turned the car around. He went back to Paoli and Ned. And Evelyn.

Karl’s worst fears were confirmed when he got home. After Karl left, Evelyn grabbed a few bottles of beer from the refrigerator and locked herself back in the bedroom. She barricaded the door, took two sleeping pills and proceeded to get stinking drunk. Ned had been fussy ever since the fight. Evelyn tuned him out and he cried himself to sleep. A few hours later he woke up in full howl with a crappy diaper. Evelyn took the diaper off and threw it out the window, leaving Ned naked and sobbing in his basinet. Evelyn was beyond caring. She curled up in bed and went back to sleep.

She woke up at three a.m. to Ned’s screaming and Karl’s angry banging.

“God damn it Evelyn, let me in. What the hell are you doing in there? I’m going to call the police if you don’t let me in. They’ll take Ned away you rotten, stinking drunk.”

Karl was terrified. Evelyn shouted back “I’ll let you in when hell freezes over.”

At least she’s alive, Karl thought with relief. “Evelyn, sweetheart, let me in” he cajoled. I won’t hurt you. I just want to be sure Ned’s okay.”

Ned was sobbing. She picked him up and tried to soothe him. “No, I won’t let you in.” She sat on the floor rocking Ned.

Karl went down to the basement for his tool box. He’d though about breaking the door down but that seemed stupid. Instead he took the door off its hinges and pulled it loose from the frame. He climbed over the bureau Evelyn had pushed against the door. Evelyn lay sound asleep with Ned naked and happy curled up in his mother’s arms.

Christ, Ned thought. What did I do to deserve this? Ned was a poopy mess so Karl picked him up tenderly and walked into the bathroom. He drew a bath and spent a half hour playing in the bath tub with his four month old son. Afterwards he diapered the baby and gave him a bottle. 

The basinet was a mess so he gave it a thorough scrubbing before putting Ned down for the rest of the night. Then he grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and went to catch a few hours of sleep leaving Evelyn sound asleep on the floor. He couldn’t even bear to look at her. It was too soon. The wounds were too fresh. 

We’ll have to talk tonight he thought. Things can’t go on like this. Evelyn was still sleeping when Karl left for work. He had breakfast at a nearby diner rather than risk waking Evelyn. I’ve married a demon he thought sadly as he drove down into the valley where he worked. 

Good always comes from bad, or so they say. Karl looked so distraught when he got to work that an associate, Jim Philips, asked him if he was alright. Karl shook his head. He hesitated. He didn’t often open up to strangers. But he really needed a friend so he spilled the whole sorry story. Jim was surprisingly sympathetic. Karl and Jim were about the same age and Jim also had an infant son, Jim Jr. 

“My wife’s been a terror ever since the baby was born” he commiserated. Maybe it’s something they have to go through.

“Evelyn might be happier if she had some one to talk to,” Karl said, thinking out loud. “She doesn’t get along with the women in our neighborhood.”

“We should get the two ladies together” Jim suggested. “Misery loves company you know.”

Karl laughed for the first time in weeks. “You may be on to something.”

‘

“Tell you what,” Jim said. “Why don’t you bring Evelyn and Ned over to our place Saturday night? The women can have a hate festival and I’ll show you my shop.”

Karl and Jim formed a bond that day which lasted a lifetime.

Evelyn called Karl at work around noon. “I feel terrible, she said contritely. I promise I’ll never act so stupid again.”

“It’s okay honey. I know you’ve been feeling isolated. I’ll have a surprise for you when I get home.”

The fight was brushed under the rug and the underlying problems were never discussed. But Saturday night was a great success. Evelyn and Wanda, Jim’s wife, hit it off immediately. They both had a fondness for highballs and gossip. Jim showed Karl his amazing electric train set up in the basement. He also had a bunch of electronic gadgets which fascinated Karl. Jim had some television parts from sets he’d cannibalized, and a beautiful Philco console. He passed them off to Karl, happy to get them out of his basement.


”I’ll have your TV up and running in no time” Karl promised Evelyn.

Evelyn was on cloud nine having found a new friend with a baby almost the same age as Ned. Karl and Evelyn began planning their first Christmas party.

Karl wanted to make it a tribute to his mother. He called his sister to get his mother’s Swedish recipes.

“You’ll love it” Karl promised Evelyn. We’ll have the Philips over and there’s another couple I’d like to invite. Evelyn was definitely up for a party.

They hadn’t been back to Philadelphia since Ned was born. They took the train to center city two weeks before Christmas. It was a cold, blustery day. The city was all decked out for the season. There were Salvation Army Santas on every corner. They stopped in at the old rooming house and were greeted fondly by a number of old friends. Max was there. He stayed in the background watching the couple carefully. He’d felt guilty for a long time about they way things turned out for Karl. But it looked like things were working out. His conscience was eased when he saw how happy Karl was with Ned.

After they left the co-op house they went to the Reading Terminal market. They bought salt herring to pickle, meat for Swedish meatballs, dried cod for lute fisck, lingenberries, meat for silta, cheeses and breads and a cookie press so Karl could make S shaped Spritz cookies.

“Next year we’ll drive. There’s so much to carry. Ned will be walking by then. Won’t it be fun?” Evelyn said as they waited for the Paoli Local to take them home. It was getting dark, and tiny snow flakes were starting to fall. “Looks like we’re going to have a white Christmas,” said Karl.

The next two weeks passed in a flurry of preparations for the party. Karl tried to get Evelyn interested in the food preparation. But Evelyn never did take well to the kitchen. She thought the process of pickling herring was utterly disgusting. She didn’t have the patience to make the little tiny meatballs. But she discovered a talent for baking. Karl turned the cookie recipes over to Evelyn, except for the Spritz. Karl had only a few happy childhood memories. Making Spritz with his mother at Christmas time was one of them. So Karl made the tough semi-sweet S shaped cookies. Evelyn made the stars, and Russian tea cakes and a few other confections.

Ten days before Christmas they went out together and bought a lovely tree. Karl had some ornaments from his mother, and a sweet little elf for the mantle which was a family heirloom. They bought lights, more ornaments and a chresh with a hole in the back for a light. Karl set the tree to soak in the basement for a few days before bringing it up to be decorated. They invited a few in neighbors for a pre-Christmas tree trimming party with mixed drinks and hoagies from the local deli. 

Then it was Christmas Eve. The other couple Karl invited couldn’t make it, so it was just the Philips and the Hansens. The evening was a great success. Everyone loved Karl’s food. The liquor flowed freely. After dinner they gathered around the piano. Wanda played Christmas carols and they sang drunkenly for a while. The coup de gras came at the end of the night when Karl brought out the Glug, which was mulled wine with a bottle of vodka to give it extra zing. Karl lit the glug with a candle and sang his mother’s favorite Swedish carol, and then poured everyone a final night cap. It was almost two a.m. when the party broke up.

“What a great evening” Evelyn purred as they walked up the stairs together. They were both drunk and happy and almost in love. Evelyn forgot to use her diaphragm. 

The Hansen’s went over to the Philip’s house for New Years Eve. “We should make this a tradition,” Jim said as midnight struck. And they did. Year after year as the kids grew up and the world spun faster and faster the Philips and the Hansens went through the ritual. Christmas Eve at the Hansens and New Years Eve at the Philips.

“I’m pregnant,” Wanda whispered to Evelyn during the first New Year’s Eve party.

“Are you happy?” Evelyn asked.

“Of course I’m happy” Wanda said with a catch in her voice. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”

“I don’t know. It’s kind of soon after Jim, jr.”

“I know. But it’ll be great. It might bring Jim and me closer. He’s always down in the damn basement with his trains. I thought I married a man but I got a little boy.”

“I thought you two were getting along fine.”

“Yeah. Everything’s always fine,” Wanda said bitterly.

Evelyn wanted to ask more, but thought she’d be intruding. So she gave Wanda a hug. “If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, just call me, okay?”

“Sure.”

That night in bed Evelyn asked Karl “do you think any married couple is truly happy?”

“What do you mean?” Karl asked, immediately feeling defensive.

“I don’t know. Do you think Wanda and Jim are happy?”

“Sure they are. You’ve seen them together. They’re a swell couple. Aren’t you happy, Evelyn?”

“Of course I am.” She smiled, closed her eyes. She didn’t feel quite so alone knowing Wanda and Jim had their troubles. Just like everybody she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

One month later Evelyn started to worry. No period. Another month passed. Oh shit Evelyn thought Karl’s gonna kill me. She didn’t know how to tell Karl, so she called Wanda in a panic. “Wanda, I’m pregnant” she cried over the phone.

“Why honey, that’s wonderful! We can be pregnant together.”

“You don’t understand,” she wailed, “Karl’s gonna kill me.”

“Oh come on. Karl’ll be pleased as punch.”

“No he won’t. I don’t think he wanted Ned, although he’s a great dad. But we never even talked about having another child and frankly, I don’t think I’m up to it. God. Another baby. More Goddamn diapers and bottles and no sleep and all the crap that goes along with them. I wish I knew a good doctor.”

Wanda was horrified. “That’s a horrible thing to say. Women were made to have children. It’s god’s gift.”

“Well you didn’t sound so happy about it at New Years”

“I was just a little down in the dumps. I didn’t mean I don’t want another baby. I can’t wait for this one to be born.”

“You’re no help. How am I going to tell Karl?”

“Just tell him. Put on some lipstick and your prettiest dress, make his favorite dinner, get a few drinks into him and tell him when he’s relaxed and feeling good. It’s simple.”

Evelyn followed Wanda’s advice. Karl was overwhelmed by Evelyn’s dinner and her looks. She’s glowing, he thought. I wonder why she’s so happy?

Evelyn had set the stage, now it was time to play the part. Karl walked right into it. “You look beautiful tonight, honey. You seem so happy. What’s gotten into you?”

“A baby,” Evelyn replied.

“A baby?” Karl didn’t get it.

“Yes, a baby. Remember Christmas Eve? We felt so great after the party, and we…, and I
forgot all about my diaphragm. Oh Christ, Karl, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I know you didn’t want another baby.”

“A baby. Wow.” Karl was stunned. He tried not to remember that horrible night when he almost left Evelyn. And now another baby. Shit. But Karl was a true gentleman. Also, he’d grown to like his little life with a wife and a baby who was a miracle to watch. He saw how scared Evelyn was when she gave him the news and felt like a heel. A child should be a joy not a burden. He gave Evelyn his brightest smile. “Really honey? That’s wonderful. I hope it’s a girl this time. Two boys would be a bit much, but a boy and a girl would be just perfect.”

“You’re not mad?” Evelyn asked with a tremulous smile.

“Mad? Heck no. We hadn’t talked about it but I was kind of thinking how hard it would be for Ned to grow up an only child. I’m really happy.”

Time passed swiftly. Marjory Philips was born with a lusty howl in late June. Jim and Wanda were pleased as punch. Evelyn suffered the summer heat badly. She was heavily pregnant when the heat finally broke in mid-September. She breezed through the last eight weeks of the pregnancy with the help of the ever attentive Karl. Ned was walking and talking right on schedule. He was a happy, healthy baby and the light of both parents’ lives. 

There was only one sore point. Karl insisted Evelyn not drink during the pregnancy. Evelyn kept on about it saying a little beer now and then hadn’t hurt Ned and wouldn’t hurt this baby. Karl stood his ground. Evelyn went through the days wanting -- what? She craved a drink but somewhere deep inside she knew it was trouble. So Evelyn drank coffee day in and out. Her cigarettes were her angry companions. They followed her everywhere.

Finally the waiting was over and Elizabeth Hansen entered the world. She was a beautiful baby who seemed to have been born smiling. She inherited Evelyn’s temper but it didn’t become a problem until later.

Another Christmas season came and went. The Philips and the Hansens shared the joy of the season. Wanda and Evelyn drank a secret toast on New Years Eve to not being pregnant this time next year. 

The two families became very close. They joined the same church and visited back and forth a lot as time passed. Jim and Karl were working on different projects. They didn’t discuss their work with each other or their wives. It seemed kind of hush hush to Evelyn. But Karl said it was just very dry technical work. The two men were on the leading edge of technology. This was back in the days before micro chips, lasers and photo optics. TV’s still had vacuum tubes. Solid state was high technology. It was before stereo and FM radio, and long before touch tone telephones. There was no color TV, and only three channels to watch.




No More Swedish Meatballs



Time passed and before they knew it another presidential election was upon them. TV and radio changed the face of politics. Politicians became much more visible. They could be held to account for what they said because their words were spread all over the nation in the blink of an eye. Suddenly double dealing and words spoken with forked tongues were out in the open.

Kristen was born in August, 1955. Evelyn was much more active and happy during the third pregnancy. She actually came out of the pregnancy slimmer than before she went in. She felt great and had a lot of energy.

Karl on the other hand felt like he was being ground down inch by inch. There was the job, day after day. Karl was very talented but didn’t know how to stand up for himself so he kept getting all of the tough jobs but little credit or acclaim. There were rumors going around the company was planning to transfer some engineers to Dayton. Karl felt like there was a hatchet over his head while he was at work. He did some fast maneuvering and got himself transferred to a different plant on the other side of the valley. He avoided the Dayton bombshell but ended up with a boss he despised.

After the transfer scare Karl had to do more fancy footwork to get reassigned to his old project. Somewhere in the shuffle he missed a promotion. The money wasn’t getting much better and with three kids now Karl was determined to buy a house.

They needed a bigger house. But no matter how they scrimped and saved they barely broke even at the end of each pay period. If only I had a down payment. I know I could swing a mortgage. But who’d sell me a house without a down payment? The answer seemed to fall from the sky. Evelyn’s mother, Lavinia, who Evelyn hadn’t seen in years suddenly decided to meet her new grand children. She called one day out of the blue and announce she was coming for a visit. 

Evelyn was aghast. She’d pretty much burned her bridges with her parents. She stayed in touch with her brother. That’s how Lavinia tracked her down in Paoli. Evelyn didn’t not want her mother’s interference, but at least her father wasn’t coming. That would have been a true disaster.

Evelyn got drunk the night Lavinia called. She told Karl about the rift between her and her parents. Karl thought it was pretty lame. Compared to his childhood, Evelyn’s sounded like a fairy tale. Maybe they could lend us the money for a down payment. Karl was excited by the idea. He even had the house picked out. It was on the same street so the move wouldn’t cost much. Hell, he and Jim could do it in a day. It wouldn’t cost anything. He was so excited by the idea he blurted it out to Evelyn.

“Don’t you dare ask my parents for money,” Evelyn stormed. “How could you even think of such a thing? I swear I’ll divorce you if you even hint to mom that we need money.”

“Divorce me and do what?” Karl asked meanly. “Move in with your parents?” 

That’s when Evelyn’s financial dependence on Karl hit home. She hadn’t thought much about it before. Things were just the way they were supposed to be. The man earned the bread and the woman fed the brats. She had never thought about what might happen to her and the children if Karl ever decided to leave. Evelyn felt a cold stab of fear. God, he could take off and we’d be left with nothing. How the hell did I get into this? But to ask my parents for money after all I did to become independent is too damned humiliating. I just traded one dependency for another. She was furious.

“I hate you,” she cried in frustration.

“I don’t care.” Karl said. “I’m going to ask. All they can do is say no. If they say yes we’ll finally have some real security. You may want to live by the graces of a landlord for the rest of your life. I don’t and I don’t want my kids to know that kind of insecurity. Your childhood was a day in the park compared to mine. You’re too damn stupid to know how good you had it. You had a stable home and family. We were evicted three times when I was a kid. I won’t put my children at risk like that. You’re just gonna have to swallow your pride and loosen that stiff neck of yours. And if you get drunk when your mother’s here I’ll make your life miserable after she leaves.”

“Go to hell. You walk around here like a martyr. Poor perfect Saint Karl. So good and everything bad happens all around you.”

“You’re drunk,” Karl retorted. “Go to bed. You talk like an idiot when you’re like this.”

“I will go to bed and you can sleep in the fucking dog house.”

“No thank you. You have fleas. I’ll be happier on the couch.”

“Bastard.” Evelyn stormed up the stairs. She didn’t notice four year old Ned staring at her with big frightened eyes as she passed him in the hallway.

“Dad.” Ned said in a small voice. “Do you and mom hate each other?”

Karl hurried to pick up his son. “No Ned. Mom and I just get mad at each other sometimes. It’s an adult thing. Everything’s all right. Let’s get you back to bed.”

“Tell me a story.”

“Okay. So he told his old stand by Swedish tale. He spoke softly and listened for the sound of his son’s breathing to slow into sleep. He picked himself up tiredly. Put the coffee on for the morning, grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and went to sleep alone on the couch.

Lavinia was due to arrive in Paoli the night before Thanksgiving. Evelyn refused to take part of the preparations. On Wednesday Karl took a highly valued vacation day and went to the market with Ned and Elizabeth in tow. Elizabeth was two and a half and Karl was four. It was a blustery November day. Fallen leaves spread their colors all over the streets and the parking lot. The whole town smelled of burning leaves. Ned and Elizabeth scampered and played as they walked through the lot to the big, new supermarket. Paoli was growing by leaps and bounds as new technology firms discovered cheap, highly desirable land in the Great Valley. The shopping center had sprung up over night. 

They started shopping early so they breezed through the aisles unhindered by other shoppers. Elizabeth rode in the cart and Ned tagged along behind his dad. Ned loved having time with his daddy, even if stinky Elizabeth had to come with them. 

After shopping Karl spent most of the day with the two toddlers. It was a treat to be free on a work day to play like a kid. Evelyn was inside acting like a witch. Kristen was fussy. She seemed to sense she was being left out of something. She was a sensitive little thing even in her first month.

Dinner was a typical meal for parents of young children. Baby food everywhere and sloppy Joes with a green salad for the parents, with bites taken between “here comes the airplane,” and “be a good girl, eat some carrots.” 

After dinner Karl went off to pick Lavinia up at the train station in Philadelphia. Evelyn refused to go and wouldn’t allow any of the children to ride in with Karl. Karl was furious but kept his mouth shut.

Evelyn had picked up a bottle of vodka while shopping early in the week. She hid it in her sewing basket. She had a couple shots while Karl was picking up Lavinia. She brushed her teeth and put on one of the dresses her mother had not made for her. Bright red lipstick. Eye makeup, powder. Make up infuriated Lavinia. 

She dressed Ned in his cowboy suit and Elizabeth in her Sunday best. She made sure Kristen was clean and sweet smelling in her basinet and sat down to read the toddlers some stories while they waited to meet their Grandma. She’d never mentioned a grandma to the kids before today. They were happy and excited. Evelyn’s pumps were well primed. She felt she was ready. She could handle it.

Karl stood in the station lobby feeling foolish, not knowing how to identify his mother. It was a good thing Lavinia had a picture of Karl. Lavinia looked nothing like Evelyn. 

“You’re much better looking than your picture,” came from the mouth of the frumpy grandmotherly looking woman who walked up to him toting a large suitcase. She looked a bit worse for wear. Karl smiled at her, 

“You must be Evelyn’s mother. I’m happy to meet you Mrs…. “

“Call me mom.” She leaned up to have her cheek kissed. Karl complied.

“Mom it is,” Karl said as he picked up her suitcase. This isn’t the fire breathing dragon I expected. “I hope your train ride wasn’t too tiresome. It’s about an hour’s drive to Paoli. You can rest in the car. Or if there’s anything you need here in Philly….”

“No. I’m anxious to see my grandchildren. And Evelyn of course.” Karl began to see part of the problem between the two women. He didn’t care for the dismissive way Lavinia spoke of Evelyn. Maybe I can get a better handle on Evelyn if I study her mother he thought. They chatted as they strode quickly through the train station

He opened the door of the old Grey Dodge. 

“Evelyn’s doing great. She’s wonderful with the kids. I don’t know how she does it day in and day out with three kids in diapers. 

“My what an interesting car,” Lavinia said as she arranged herself. “Chilly this time of year.” She drew her coat more tightly around herself. “I hope it has heat.” 

“It has heat. And breaks. Runs out of gas from time to time if I’m not careful,” he said, trying for a laugh or a smile.

“I’m sure you have plenty of gas tonight.”

“Yes. I do. The heater’s working fine. There’ll be a lot of hot air in here tonight.”

Karl’s barb went right over Lavinia’s head. Yes, I think I understand Evelyn a bit better already. I wouldn’t blame her if she got a little tipsy waiting to greet the dragon lady. Actually, she’s more like a goblin. 
I’ll point that out to Evelyn. She’ll get a kick out of it.

Karl kept his mouth shut during the drive to Paoli. Lavinia tried to start a conversation. Karl said he didn’t like to talk while he drove. He said had to listen for sounds of mechanical failure, which was a lie. Old Betsy was the soundest car on the street. Karl loved to get inside Betsy’s hood and tinker. Karl was a closet car nut.

Lavinia sat straight as a board during the whole trip with her head cocked to the side, listening to every rattle, clank and ping, sure they were going to be stuck by the side of the road. Karl chuckled to himself. 

It was eight o’clock by the time they got home. Evelyn was sitting demurely on the couch with the two toddlers, reading from The Brother’s Grimm. She was pretending to be a wicked witch when Karl and Lavinia walked in the door. Karl could tell by the flush on Evelyn’s face she’d found a way to get tipsy. But she was in control and the kids were having a rare fine time with mommy. Karl was proud of Evelyn at that moment. When Evelyn looked up at Karl and saw his happy amused approval something hard inside her melted. She gave him such a warm, loving smile that Lavinia almost dropped her purse. Karl strode over and gave Evelyn the kind of kiss she’d been missing for so long. Then the kids started jumping on them both. Kids see everything. When a magical moment happens they are so in on it it’s incredible. There was more joy in that house that moment than there’d been in the last year.

And next month’s Christmas Karl whispered in Evelyn’s ear. They almost forgot about Lavinia.

“Well, isn’t anyone going to say hello to grandma?” Lavinia asked archly.

The kids had been primed and ready to meet their grandmother. They were a little hesitant at first. Then Ned, big little man that he was strode over and solemnly shook her hand. Elizabeth didn’t want to be upstaged by Ned so she dropped her shy act and made a run for Lavinia‘s arms. 

“That’s much better,” Lavinia laughed. Who might you be young man?”

“I’m Ned and I’m four. I’m going to school next year.”

“Oh, I see. So you’re all grown up are you?”

“Yes,” he said smugly.”

“I’m Lizbet, and I’m almost three.” 

“No you’re not, you’re only two, baby,” Ned interrupted.

“Am so.”

Lavinia had had enough of the baby scene for the time being. “Evelyn, dear, you look so well. No one would think to look at you that you had three children right in a row. She walked the distance between them. Evelyn seemed suspended in time, unable to move. Lavinia gave Evelyn a big hug. Evelyn took it with something like good grace. 

“Why don’t you two get the big kids into bed and take a peek at Kristen,” Karl suggested to the women. I’m going to whip up some snacks. And I think a high ball might be in order. What do you think darling?” Karl asked Evelyn.

“Oh no alcohol,” Lavinia interjected. Evelyn knows I don’t approve of alcohol.”

“Well, that’s okay for you. Evelyn you’d like one, wouldn’t you? I’ll make two,” he said as he ushered them upstairs. Then he put together some deli snacks and mixed a couple of stiff whiskey sours. He knew he’d suffer sorely in the morning. But it was worth it to put the nasty bitch in her place.

He set up snack trays in the living room while Evelyn and Lavinia settled the children. Lavinia was duly impressed by the beauty of infant Kristen, or so she said. The adults sat down to socialize. Evelyn sipped her drink slowly under Lavinia’s disapproving eye, chain smoking all the while. Karl sat back and tried to relax.

“This is a quaint little house you have. You’ve made it quite cozy, Evelyn.” 

“I’m glad you like it,” Evelyn said in a poisonously sweet voice. 

They chatted about Evelyn’s siblings and recent events in the Mennonite community. “Karl,” Lavinia said after they ran out of small talk about babies and dying relatives,” you must be doing well to have such a nice piece of property so early in your career,”

“We don’t own. We rent. I just can’t seem to get far enough ahead to put together a down payment.” The words just popped out of his mouth. He couldn’t help himself even knowing it would upset Evelyn.

Evelyn’s father owned several rental properties. Lavinia knew a bit about real estate. “How much would a house like this go for around here these days?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe twelve, thirteen thousand.”

Evelyn was starting to see red. She wanted to stop Karl but she couldn’t make a scene. Not in front of her mother.

“You wouldn’t need very much for a down payment. Only about twelve hundred. It can’t be that hard….”

“It might as well be twelve thousand,” Karl said with a sigh. “With three kids and the prices these days, it’s hard to set anything aside. I’m not complaining. But I’d like to have some security for the children. Then, when things improve I could set money aside for their college educations. It’s vital to have an education these days.”

“I see.” Lavinia narrowed her eyes. “You’re looking to the future. That’s smart. Evelyn, you’ve found yourself a bright man.”

“I’m so glad you approve mom.” Evelyn’s voice dripped with poison. She picked up her empty glass. “I think I’ll have another. Karl, can I make one for you?”

“That would be nice dear,” Karl replied gently.

Evelyn poured straight whisky into her glass. She made Karl’s killer strong, knowing he would suffer later. How dare he? she fumed. How dare he do this to me on the first night’s she’s here? And Mom’s loving every minute of it. Poor Evelyn. Her husband can’t even put together a paltry twelve hundred dollars for a down payment on a quaint little dump. That’s what she’s thinking. Evelyn slammed back half of the whiskey she’d poured and refilled the glass with shaking hands. She was murderously angry but she knew if she blew her top there would be hell to pay. 

Karl and Lavinia continued their conversation while Evelyn was in the kitchen. “Well, I can’t speak for Pop, but I can’t see why we couldn’t lend you money for a down payment on a house. Would you buy this one?”

“No,” Karl said, thrilled right down to his toes. The whiskey was helping his mood. Maybe she’s not such a dragon after all. “There’s a really nice one, similar to this, for sale just up the hill. It’s been on the market for a while. I’ve even walked through it.”

“Could I see it while I’m here?”

Evelyn had been eaves dropping. She’d polished off another whisky and was reeling drunk. But she maintained control. She slammed Karl’s drink down on his tray and snarled “you two are so cozy, making your plan. I think I’ve had enough for the night. I’ll leave you to it.” She tried to saunter, but staggered a little on her way up the stairs.

Karl put on a brave face. “Good night sweetheart,” he said, then turned to Lavinia, “She’s not used to strong liquor. I shouldn’t have made the drinks.”

“That was disgraceful,” Lavinia said.

“Evelyn was very nervous about your visit. She hasn’t seen you in a long time. There’s no harm in getting a little light headed once in a while.”

“She wasn’t light headed, she was stone drunk. I smelled liquor on her when I hugged her. She was drinking before we got home.”

“That’s not true,” Karl said tightly. 

“Do you let her take care of those children when she’s been drinking?” Lavinia snapped.

“Evelyn doesn’t drink often. That’s why she was so high tonight. If you can’t take my word for that 
I don’t know if we have anything more to talk about.”

“You’d risk those children.”

“There’s no problem,” Karl insisted.

“Well, it’s on your head. I’m tired. Do you have a place for me to sleep or should I find a way back to the train station.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Karl said trying to smooth things over. “The kids are all excited about spending Thanksgiving with you. I’ll take you and the kids to see the house on Saturday, if that’s still a possibility that is.

Lavinia smiled. “I can’t blame you for being loyal. I’d love to see the house. Evelyn’s still angry that Pop wouldn’t pay for her college. I’ve never known anyone to hold a grudge like Evelyn. She was always angry growing up. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“There’s nothing wrong with her,” Karl said, loyal to the end. “You saw how good she is with the kids. But she needs to get out of the house more. She’d be happier if she more to occupy her mind. Maybe we should start looking into nursery schools.”

“That might be a good idea. Can I see where I’m going to sleep?”

“Sure.” 

After he got Lavinia settled he went back downstairs to clean up the kitchen. He was appalled when he saw how much of the whiskey was gone. Oh Lord, Evelyn’s going to be sick in the morning. I’m gonna have to do the cooking. I may as well make the stuffing now. 

He got his drink from the living room. Just for the hell of it he poured it into the turkey stuffing. Then he did as much of the food preparation as he could in advance. He wasn’t ready to brave the bedroom.

Evelyn was waiting up for him when he finally went to bed. But she wasn’t angry or even particularly drunk. She was hot, sexy and sultry. She seduced him like she used to in the early days of their marriage. She got a kick out of thinking about her mother listening to the creaking and thumping on the other side of the wall. Karl was fully aroused and their sex was unusually satisfying.

The next day Evelyn simmered and stewed while she nursed a hangover. Karl ignored her temper and kept the whiskey out of sight. He spent most of the day in the kitchen. “Grandma” spent most of the day with the two toddlers. At dinner the adults were rather formal and the conversation was stilted. They didn’t have wine with the meal. 

Thank God for the children Karl thought as dinner dragged on. Ned and Elizabeth had a fine time gobbling up Thanksgiving goodies. They were ridiculously cute and made a tremendous mess with their food. They were at an age when they knew the day was special but didn’t know why. They were the center of attention and made the most of it. 

As the evening wore on Evelyn’s headache got worse and worse. She had nothing much to say to either Karl or Lavinia. 

“What the hell’s wrong with you,” Karl said in a cold, quiet voice when they were getting ready for bed. “Can’t you even try to be civil to your mother? She came all this way to see us and you can’t even look her in the face.”