0 comments/  24410 views/  1 favorites

My Secret Love Ch. 01

By: Deann Laws



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

Well where to begin. I'm not too sure when I first started to realize I had these feelings for my instructor but as I noticed as each day had passed that recently I couldn't stop thinking about her or fantasizing about her. Not that I believed anything would ever really happen, but it made it hard to face her every day in class.

As hard as I tried I couldn't shake thinking about her, and thinking about what it would be like to kiss her, to feel her lips upon mine. I wouldn't say she was the most attractive woman I've laid my eyes on, but in her own way she was beautiful, and had this power about her that just drew you to her even more.

She was only about five years older than me, but she seemed so much older, more sophisticated, and very well in control of her life. She was of average weight I would say with shoulder length dusty blond/brown hair. I'd say she was about a few inches taller than me at least. She would normally wear dresses to class, but on occasion would see her wear jeans, or something casual that made her seem more down to earth and reachable.

She was the head of our dental department, and basically ran the clinic. There were about five other instructors in our department but Lauri was basically the one in charge, though each instructor shared different responsibilities.

She had this unapproachable aura about her. You were almost scared to be called upon her in class, or to even have her look at you. She was very intimidating, but that made her even more attractive. You wanted her to notice you. I wanted to get close to her. I wanted to be more to her than just another student, but how could I do that. How could I become her friend or even more, especially when I was terrified to even be in the room alone with her.

But I wanted so much more with her, but I knew I had to shake those feelings out of my head. It would never happen. She was married with two kids, and as far as I knew she was happy with her marriage, and would never even think of being with another woman, or would even have these feelings towards me.

I was crazy to even think this. So I determined to push these feelings aside and to get on with my life and to just focus on school and what the future would hold for me. I was terribly shy, and very introverted, and kept to myself a lot. No one knew I was gay and I liked it that way. I had only ever been with two women in my life and they were brief relationships, but I was very cautious to get involved with anyone again.

My classmates assumed I had a boyfriend, and I led them to believe that. I didn't need the hassle of people knowing, let alone them feeling uncomfortable being around me. I spent my nights curled up with books, studying or watching tv, maybe one day I would find that love, or be strong enough to find that person, but for now I always had an excuse to not go out. I had to study, I had an excuse to always do something.

I didn't want the hassle of relationships, nor the hurt that always seemed to accompany them. But lately my thoughts of Lauri consumed me. Why couldn't I shake her from my mind? I had to stop this. Why did she have this hold over me, and why would I even care? What was it about her that just sucked me into her life? All I knew is that I had to end these feelings, and would just have to be content to live with this secret crush I had. No one could know, and I had to keep it that way.

Lauri was a very tough instructor, she was always hard on the students but even more so it seemed with me. On quite a few occasions I felt like going up to her and approaching her with these undeserving grades. I felt I didn't deserve some of her grades, and that I was working just as damn hard as everyone else, and deserved better.

But the shy person I was I just kept it to myself, and thought I was crazy to think that she singled me out and was harder on me then the rest. It must be my imagination, so I just tried to work harder in clinic and lecture and ignored any crazy feelings that she held something against me. But as the next semester came and gone, over and over again I felt these unnerving feelings. Damn, what is it that she holds against me, and why do I find her so damn attractive? I knew I had to keep my feelings in check, and not let them get the best of me. But I knew I was working just as hard as the rest, and she was damn harder on me it seemed.

Summer semester was coming and I had a few weeks to think, and to get her out of my system so to speak. Summer was going to be long and hard and I knew I had to settle these feelings once and for all. I figured damn her, and the rest, this semester I'm going to get the grades I deserve. Forget any feelings I may have for her, its time to think of Samantha and to stand up for what I deserve.

The few weeks break we had off, I used that time to gain any confidence and strength in myself to face the summer. I needed to get refocused. I read a lot of self help books, confidence books, tapes, you name it I tried. I was determined to go back to class a changed person. I wasn't going to let anyone get me down anymore. I had to take control of my life. I even thought that it was time to start dating again. I even tried some pheromones I had bought over the internet, not that I felt it would really work or that I would feel any more attractive by using it, or that people would flock towards me, but I did feel more confident, and if that is all it did than I was happy with that, for I felt much stronger and confident in myself. I was going back to summer school ready and prepared for a great summer no matter what.

I had gone on a few dates now but nothing that I would consider serious, but it was a start for me anyway to get back into the dating scene. People would consider me attractive, I was slim/athletic build, I loved to work out and keep my body in shape. I had shoulder length auburn hair, green eyes, though I had the offers, I still felt like I was holding out for that special someone, so I kept my dates at arms length and didn't take things too seriously. I knew I would know when the time was right or situation was right to be intimate again, and I was content to just wait for that special someone to come into my life.

Summer school started out great. I felt more confident in my clinical skills and even patients seemed more at ease with me. There were even a few occasions when Lauri was my supervisor for the day that she seemed almost impressed at how well I was doing. I had this new sense of well-being and that I could face anything.

There was this new girl in class, Shirley was her name I think, who transferred in, she was beautiful, and a few times I had thought she was even flirting with me but not wanting anyone to know that I was gay I didn't approach her and figured if she was interested then maybe time would tell with that. So I let my options stay open with that.

On one particular day I was finishing up a patient's teeth. Lauri was my supervisor for that day. She came up a few times and asked if I was doing okay and needed help, and I told her I was fine. I was actually surprised at how helpful she was with me. A few times she checked on me and patted me on my back and said good work. It just felt strange that she was overly interested in how well I was doing. I wasn't complaining but it just seemed strange. Was she actually flirting with me, or was I just reading too much into her gestures?

She definitely was being friendly, that's for sure. She had never been so helpful before, and now just seemed all too willing to see how I was doing every few minutes. Either way, I wasn't going to let my thoughts wander to any hopeful thoughts of her. I knew I needed to stay focused this semester, with graduation just around the corner and with board exams, I knew I had to stay focused on the present and keep any fantasies of her and I out of my mind cause that is all they were, just hopeful fantasies.

I know she would never feel the same towards me anyway as I do for her, plus her being married, it was just a crazy dream anyway. Well at the end of the day, I cleaned up my unit and headed to the locker to freshen up and head home for the day. Lauri hadn't been seen for the rest of the afternoon and I had to find another instructor to check my patient out, so I was curious to why she had disappeared.

Maybe I should go tell her how things went with the patient. Well I'm sure something just came up then. But I was curious to where she took off to. I wondered whether she was in her office. I questioned myself whether to stop by or not. It had been such a strange day with her being so helpful and coming up to me and being really nice and affectionate, and my curiosity just got the best of me so I decided to walk by her office after I freshened up some.

Just by luck I noticed I had packed some of my pheromones in my bag so I sprayed some on, smiled to myself in doing so, and then headed off to her office not knowing whether she would be there or not, or what I would find. I walked by Lauri's office, the door was shut but I could hear some movement inside. I hesistated a few minutes before knocking, questioning whether I should stop by or not, and if it seemed foolish as an excuse to stop by to tell her how my patient went, but oh well, here goes, and I knocked on the door.

A few minutes went by so I knocked again, still no answer. "Lauri are you in there," I said after a few minutes. There was no answer so I was about to turn around and leave when Lauri answered the door. It looked like she had been crying. "Umm..I'm sorry if this is a bad time I can come back later"

"No Samantha, come on in" Lauri wiped the tears from her face and sat down. "So what brings you by Samantha, is everything okay?"

"Yes things are fine, in fact I just wanted to tell you about Mr.Schultz, the patient I had today. Since you were gone later this afternoon I got Joan to check him out for me, but I just wanted to let you know how it went. But I can see that maybe I shouldn't have stopped by, I'm sorry, this isn't a good time, so I'll leave."

I got up to leave when Lauri stopped me.

"No Samantha it's alright sit down and tell me about today"

I felt foolish sitting there rambling on about my patient but she genuinely seemed interested in me and wanting to know how I was doing. I was quite surprised how at ease it was talking to her. She didn't seem like this ominous authority figure to me anymore but someone actually down to earth, someone I could talk to. Something had changed, or maybe it was just the way I perceived things. I don't know, but she definitely seemed more approachable.

Before I knew it I was rambling on about my life, school, and things till I finally realized I had taken up a lot of her time. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take up so much of your time. I'm heading home so I had just wanted to let you know how today went with my patient."

"No, its alright Samantha, its actually refreshing to listen. I'm glad things are going better for you."

"Umm Lauri, I know its really none of my business, but are you okay? I mean you seemed a bit upset when you first opened the door...I'm sorry I shouldn't pry." I felt embarrassed for even asking her that, and I got up to leave. A few seconds of silence went by, and then Lauri started to cry again.

"Oh God, now what am I suppose to do", I said to myself.

Lauri wiped her eyes, and just began to talk and cry. She told me that she and her husband were having some problems and that he moved out for awhile, and that she had just gotten his phone call earlier that afternoon saying he was moving out. I didn't want to pry and ask her why, so I just let her continue to talk.

Here this woman was pouring her heart out to me. I had never seen her like this before. She was always so strong and in control that seeing her like this was very hard for me. I wanted to reach out and to hold her, and to comfort her, but I knew I couldn't.

She looked at me and wiped her eyes again and sniffled and said, "I'm sorry Samantha, I didn't mean to lay all of this on you and be a sobbing mess here."

"No, don't apologize, its quite alright. I want to help if I can." I reached out and touched her hand and looked into her eyes. I smiled and told her I'm sure things would work themselves out.

"Your a very beautiful woman Lauri, I'm sure your husband knows that. You guys will work through this." I couldn't believe what I was saying to her, telling her how beautiful she was, but I just couldn't stop myself, for it was the truth.

"I'm sorry," I said and slightly pulled my hand away. It felt good to hold her hand but I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Now I was the one feeling uncomfortable. I could feel a flush starting in my body and I had to get out of there and breathe.

Lauri looked at me as I pulled my hand away and asked me if I really thought she was beautiful. Now I was definitely feeling a little warm here and had to get out of here. "Yes of course Lauri your very beautiful, anyone would be a fool to not see that." "Oh God what am I saying here," I said to myself. I need to get the hell out of here before...just then Lauri grabbed my hand as I was standing up to leave.

"Samantha, what do you see?"

"What do you mean what do I see?"

"I mean do you see me as beautiful yourself, someone you would be attracted to?"

"Lauri, I don't know what your asking, and I think I better go here before I say something I might regret or do something we both might regret."

"Samantha are you attracted to me?"

Oh shit, why did she have to ask me that. I hesitated in answering her and turned my back and was ready to run the hell out of there. She stood up and I felt her approach me from behind, and again she asked me if I was attracted to her.

I slowly turned around and saw her eyes so close to me. She was the most beautiful I had ever seen her. Her eyes were so sexy at that moment, I wanted to reach up and kiss her right then.

"Samantha this past year of teaching you and seeing you grow and approve your clinical skills, I've noticed things change in me. You seemed so different than any of the other students and not so easily approachable. Always so quiet and to yourself. It drew me to you even more. I didn't know how to approach you. Maybe I have been a little more tough on you then the others, but I see so much more potential in you. I'm sorry for being so hard on you this year. It seems this summer we're both going through some changes. I've noticed you seem more confident and aware of yourself these past few weeks, and I've noticed some definite improvements in your clinical skills."

She said smiling at that last statement. At that moment Lauri reached her hand up and stroked my face.

"Samantha I don't understand these feelings myself but..."

"Sssh...it's alright you don't have to say it."

I reached up and placed my fingers over her lips. Dead silence passed between us as we looked into each other's eyes. I ran my fingers slightly over her lips. I looked into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity. She didn't stop me. I slowly leaned forward and gently kissed her lips so softly.

I pulled back slightly, waiting for any encouragement from her. She placed her hands on my face and pulled me into her for a deeper kiss. I felt her lips part and touch mine. Her tongue gently probed my mouth for entrance. I parted my lips and allowed her tongue entry. Our kiss was so soft and pure, like none other than I had ever felt before.

The kiss became deeper and more intense. I felt her fingers run through my hair as she held me into her. I pulled my lips away and looked at her and saw such a look of love and raw passion that took my breath away. Our lips forced their way back to each other, with more intensity becoming deeper and rapid as our hands roamed each other's bodies pulling each other closer.

I felt her hand gently caress my face as we kissed. I slowly reached up and caressed her breast as we kissed deeper. She let out a little moan as my fingers gently squeezed at her breast. She pressed her body into me even more. Our kiss continued and we began to let our passion take control when I knew I had to pull away before things got too out of hand. I had to take a breath, and to think about what was happening. Was she kissing me cause she was interested in me, or because she was in need and feeling lonely because of her marital problems?

I questioned myself and had to pull away. I needed her, wanted her, but I wanted her only if she wanted me the same way and felt the same. I knew my feelings for her were much deeper than a secret crush.

"I'm sorry Lauri...I didn't mean to..." I hesitated, not knowing what to say about what just happened. I turned away. I was too scared to look at her, or what she might think of me.

She didn't say anything. So I turned and slowly walked out, not looking back, hoping that maybe she would call out to me, but she didn't. She didn't stop me so I continued out the door. I was both shocked and in awe at what had just happened with her and I. Or how I was even going to face her the next day in class.

"This is great Samantha," I said to myself. "She is my teacher for crying out loud...damn...how the hell am I suppose to face her in class now? I just couldn't stay away from her, could I?" I said belittling myself.

All night the thoughts of the days events ran through my head, and how I was going to face her the next day. I wondered if she was thinking of me, and what she was going to say to me. It was late and I had to get some much needed rest. I laid my face into my pillow and started to cry. I knew I loved her, but I also knew that this could never be, and with that I cried myself to sleep, awaiting the inevitable of what the next day would bring.

I slowly woke up the next morning, not too motivated about facing Lauri in class. Well I knew I had to get moving so I better get this over with, one way or another. Either way I have to tell her how I feel about her, and why I walked out on her last night. Maybe she'll understand, or maybe not, but she has to know how I feel.

I hesitated walking into class that morning. I had this feeling of dread that I couldn't shake. I opened the door and sat myself down in the back of the classroom. Our eyes met. She briefly looked at me and turned away. My heart began to beat faster...what was I going to say to her. All through class I hadn't heard anything with lecture, thoughts of what I was going to say to her rehearsed over and over again in my mind.

Everytime I looked at her she would turn away. It seemed like she was purposely avoiding eye contact. I felt hurt by her actions but we still had to talk. After class I waited for the students to leave. Lauri seemed to be in a rush to get out of there.

I walked up to the front of class and waited for her to look up at me, but she continued to pack her notes ignoring my presence. "Lauri, can we talk please?" I said almost under my breath.

"Samantha, this isn't a good time, I have alot of things to do today." she said while avoiding eye contact. She grabbed her things and walked by me, totally ignoring me.

"Lauri, I think we need to talk. We can do it here, or in your office but either way I'm going to say this to you now, and if you want the whole damn department to know then fine with me! I suggest you don't walk away from me Lauri!" I yelled out to her as she continued to walk away. "You've been ignoring me all morning, and if you want to make this a scene then we can do that!" I started to raise my voice a bit as she continued out the door. "Damn" I said as I followed her to her office.


My Secret Love Ch. 01



"Fine, Samantha, you want to talk, then let's talk!" She opened the door to her office and I followed her in and shut the door. She threw her things on her desk and crossed her arms and looked at me with disgust. "You wanted to talk, then talk. Let's get this over with cause I have too many other important things to do today!" Lauri said.

"Why are you so damn mad at me? What the hell did I do? Oh, I know, I kissed you! That's what I did, and then walked out on you! Lauri that kiss meant so much more to me than a kiss, I had to leave to think about that, and to hopefully give you time to think about what had happened. I have feelings for you Lauri. I'm sorry that I do, but I can't help but feel this way for you. And I want it to mean more to you than something casual as well. All last night I thought about how wrong it was, your married, and all of that, your my instructor, but I don't care, you mean so much to me. I can't stop thinking about you, or wanting you. But I have to know that you feel the same and want the same. God help me, but I am falling in love with you."

"Samantha, please don't say that. Your not falling in love with me. What happened yesterday was a mistake. I was confused, and upset with my husband moving out, and you were there, and I just confused my feelings with all of it. It should have never happened, and I'm sorry that it did. Your a wonderful person Samantha, but please don't think that this means anything more than what it was."

"Lauri, what about what you said, and how you felt towards me, was that all a lie? Didn't any of this mean anything to you, didn't you feel something when we kissed? You can't tell me that you didn't, and that this was just you being upset with your husband. I know there was more to our kiss than that...you can't tell me you didn't feel it. Please don't tell me you don't feel this. I love you, don't do this."

"Samantha I don't love you. I'm sorry but your going to have to realize that this was a mistake. I'm sorry that I hurt you, and this happened but we have to let this go. Samantha you have to realize that I am a very respectable instructor. I've always been so in control of my life. This isn't me, and this shouldn't have happened. And I ask you to keep this quiet. This never happened, and it should remain that way. This should just remain between us as our little secret, but as far as I'm concerned this never happened, and I suggest you do the same and move on. As your instructor I'm suggesting you to keep things that way. No one has to know."

I began to cry, the tears pouring down my face. I couldn't believe what she was saying to me and how cruel she was.

"So I guess this didn't mean anything to you. I expected so much more of you Lauri. I thought you were different. I didn't think you cared about your image so much, but I guess I was wrong. You can deny what we felt for each other yesterday, but I know in my heart the truth. And you don't have to worry about your precious image, it's safe with me. No one will know, its our little secret! Your right, this never happened!"

I slammed the door on my way out, the tears rolling down my face. I ran to my car, not wanting anyone to see me sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped in my car, my face against the steering wheel as my tears washed over my face. I cried for what seemed an eternity when I heard someone banging on my car window.

I looked up and it was shirley, my classmate from school, the new transfer student. I wiped my eyes and rolled down the window.

"Samantha are you okay" Shirley said. "I saw you run to your car upset, and I just wanted to come over and see if you were okay."

I sniffled and wiped my face. "Hi, Shirley. That's really sweet of you, but I'm fine. I'm just not feeling too good today so I'm going to skip clinic this afternoon and head home. I might take a few off-days from clinic. I just need to get some things together. But I'm okay, thanks for asking. Hey can you do me a favor?"

"Samantha are you sure your okay. I'm a great listener."

"That's really nice of you Shirley but don't worry I just need some time to myself. If you can tell Joan that I won't be in this afternoon and that I am taking the rest of the week off from clinic I would really appreciate that."

"Is that wise to be taking this time off so soon before graduation? Anyway, shouldn't I tell Lauri, she would need to know?"

"No! I'm sure Joan will let her know. And I have a few off days anyway so it shouldn't affect graduation credits, and one of the other students or you if you'd like can take my patients for this week. It shouldn't be a problem. Can you tell Joan for me?"

"Sure Samantha, will I see you on Monday?"

"Yeah, hopefully. Don't worry, I'm fine okay? Look I have to go, so I'll talk to you later than. Thanks, Shirley."

"Okay, Samantha, see you next week." Shirley waved goodbye to me as I drove off down the road.

"Oh Samantha this isn't wise at all." Shirley thought. "I need to go tell Lauri what your planning. You shouldn't be taking this whole week off. Well maybe Lauri will beable to talk some sense into you." Shirley thought to herself. "Hmmm...Yes, I need to go see Lauri and tell her. I'll go do that now."

A knock came at the door. "I wonder who that is now," Lauri spoke to herself trying to calm her nerves down after talking with Samantha. "Get yourself together here Lauri, people can't see you like this." Lauri straightened herself up. Lauri cleared her throat. "Yes, who is it?" Lauri called out.

"Lauri, it's Shirley. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few moments."

Lauri opened the door for Shirley. "Yes come in. What can I do for you?"

"Umm...well I'm not sure if I should be saying this because Samantha will get mad at me, and I'm going against her wishes by coming to you, but I thought you should know that I just saw her pretty upset leaving in her car. She had asked me to go to Joan and tell her that she wouldn't be in all week and that she's taking her off-days for clinic. I tried to tell her with graduation around the corner that I didn't think it was wise but she didn't listen, and said she needed some time to herself. I know it's really none of my business, but I'm just a little concerned is all. She did seem really upset for some reason. Anyway, I just thought you should know."

"Thanks Shirley, you did the right thing by coming to me. Don't worry, I'll handle this okay? I'll talk with Samantha, but in the meantime maybe you should try and schedule some of her patients with yours as well."

"Alright, Lauri, I'll do that." Shirley said as she walked out the office.

"Hmmm...Samantha, what am I going to do about you?" Lauri pondered to herself.

After leaving Shirley standing in the parking lot, I started to drive. I didn't know where I was headed but I just had to get out of there. A nice cold drink I think would do the trick. I decided to drive to the local bar. Yeah, at 10am in the morning, I'm sure to have the whole place to myself.

"Damn, I missed the exit, well, I will take the next one." I said to myself as I swerved back onto the highway. I was crazy to think that she could feel the same for me. Who was I trying to kid?

My thoughts were driving me crazy, and the tears continued to come. My eyes were blinded from the tears, and I wasn't watching my driving too well as I swerved back and forth from the edge of the road. The exit was coming up fast, so I took a sharp turn to make it onto the next exit to take the highway back into town.

My sobbing continuing to increase. I wasn't watching my speedometer, or how sharp I took that exit, as I wiped the tears from my eyes, the next thing I knew was my car flipping over in the ditch.

It all happened so quickly. I felt the car swerve off the exit ramp but I couldn't get control of the steering wheel. Time was motionless as I felt the weight of the car twisting and turning into the ditch. Every effort to gain control was useless. My voice was silent. I couldn't even scream out.

I felt no pain as my body was flung motionless into the steering wheel and compartments of the car. Then I remembered nothing. I could hear sirens around me, and people shouting, but everything was black and still. I thought I could hear people talking to me, but it sounded so distant and muffled that I couldn't let them know I was okay. I tried to talk, to tell them where I was, but nothing would come out.

Then the blackness and silence engulfed me.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 02



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

"Dental department, how can I help you?" the secretary answered.

"Hi, I'm calling from St. Joseph's hospital. A student of yours has been in a serious accident and has been brought into St. Joseph's. We need any information that you may have so we can contact her family." The nurse stated.

"Let me put Lauri on, she runs the department here. She may be able to help you. One moment." the secretary said.

The secretary relayed the information to Lauri. Lauri answered the phone.

"Hello, this is Lauri Richmond speaking, how can I help you?"

"Hi Lauri, do you have any family information on a student named Samantha Pearson? She was brought in not long ago and we need to let her family know of her condition." Lauri took a sharp intake of breath and asked the nurse Samantha's condition and what had happened.

The nurse stated. "Well she was in a serious car accident and is undergoing surgery now. The seriousness of her condition is really unknown right now, but we need to get a hold of her family."

Lauri held back her tears and was numb as she fumbled through Samantha's file.

"Let me check in her file, it says she has an older brother here." Lauri paused for a few minutes as she read on. She cleared her throat before talking. "It seems that her brother is her only living family member. It says he's in the Navy out of the Country but she did list a phone number here of his in case of an emergency. His name is John Pearson." Lauri continued to give the nurse the information and number. "Thanks, Lauri, we'll try giving him a call now." The nurse hung up, and Lauri stood there dumbfounded for a few moments.

"Oh Samantha what did you do? Is this my fault?" Lauri pondered. Lauri signed deeply feeling guilty that maybe in some way this was her fault. Her nerves were shattered. She never knew too much about Samantha's personal life, nor that her brother was the only one in her family left alive which only added more fuel to Lauri's guilt. Heck she never even knew that Samantha had a brother. "What if they can't reach him. I need to get to the hospital and find out what's going on," Lauri thought to herself while still standing there with the receiver in her hand. Her hands shaking in shock, or was it something more, but she felt she needed to be at the hospital for Samantha.

"Is everything all right?" the secretary said as she took the phone from Lauri's hand.

Lauri straightened herself up, she didn't want to lose it right there in front of everyone. "Kathy, I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off. Let Joan and the others know. Samantha Pearson was the one in the car accident the nurse was talking about. I want to head on over to the hospital and find out more about her condition. I'll let you guys know about her condition when I can."

"Sure Lauri, I'll let Joan and the others know. We'll keep Samantha in our prayers. I hope it's nothing too serious."

"Thanks, Kathy. I hope it's nothing too serious either."

Lauri felt that even as she said those words she knew that it was. Lauri walked out of the clinic, grabbed her things, and barely made it to her car before she felt herself break down and cry. "Please be okay Samantha," Lauri said under her breath as she drove away out of the clinic's parking lot.

Lauri drove into the hospital's lot and parked her car. She wiped her eyes before leaving her car. She straightened her clothes and herself and then she walked uneasily to the administration area of the hospital. "Okay Lauri get yourself together here." She took a deep breath and walked through the doors. Lauri walked up to the desk. "Hi I enquiring about a patient that was brought in not long ago, can you tell me any information on her condition?"

"Who are you asking for?" the nurse at the receptions counter asked.

"Her name is Samantha Pearson, she's a student of mine at the clinic here at the college."

"Oh yes, Samantha. We're still trying to locate her brother. I think I talked with you on the phone. Are you Lauri Richmond from the dental clinic?"

"Yes, I am. Do you know any more information on her condition?"

"Well they just brought her out of surgery a few minutes ago and she's been brought upstairs to the intensive ward. As far as her condition you would have to ask the doctor who operated on her. All I know is that she was brought in with some serious injuries, and it will take alot of prayers for her to come out of this one. We're all surprised that she even survived the surgery. Why don't you talk to doctor Sou, he'll be out soon. I'll let him know that you are inquiring about her. Since we haven't located her brother yet I don't think the doctor will mind her having some support here, but just wait a few minutes and I'll let the doctor know your here."

"Thanks," Lauri said as she walked over to the waiting area and took a seat. She couldn't stand this waiting and her nerves were all shot. She couldn't stop thinking of Samantha and how she had affected her life so dramatically the past year, and then how the past few days had come about. How they kissed yesterday, and then her telling Samantha basically to get out of her life and leave her alone like nothing had even happened.

Lauri did feel something for her, but that day she was scared and ran from those feelings, and the only way she knew was to push Samantha away, and now Lauri wondered what she had done. "Oh Samantha, did I do this to you?" Lauri was in horror of it all. "Please, Samantha," Lauri prayed silently, "Please, hang in there, and fight."

Just then Lauri was interrupted by the nurse calling her to the desk. "Mrs. Richmond," the nurse said, " doctor Sou is here to talk to you."

Lauri approached doctor Sou and asked him how Samantha was.

"Well Mrs. Richmond we've done all we can for her, it's basically up to her and the Lord. She had some internal bleeding and some of her organs had been damaged in the accident. We were able to prepare as much as we could. She lost alot of blood so we had to give her a few tranfusions. Her ribs were broken, and she has a broken leg. Internally it was a mess though I wish I didn't have to say that but we were able to do as much as we could. Her spleen had been crushed, among other organs, so Mrs. Richmond it's amazing she even survived the surgery let alone even the crash. It's going to be touch and go for the next 24-48 hours. All we can do right now is hope and pray that she has the strength to pull through this. That is why it was pertinent we try and get ahold of any family for her. We really don't expect too much right now, just your prayers is all we can do."

The tears were flowing down Lauri's face as she heard all of this. Her voice crackled as she asked the doctor if she could see her.

"At this point I don't think it would hurt any." the doctor said. "I think she needs all the support and prayers she can get. Mrs. Richmond, I must warn you, she's hooked up to alot of machines, as well as a ventilator. She hasn't woke yet from the accident. I just want to prepare you before you go in." the doctor said as he walked away. The doctor turned back towards Lauri. "Oh yes, one more thing, even if she does make it through this Mrs. Richmond, she will need help to recover at home. I hope she can find someone or her brother to take care of her."

The doctor walked up to the receptionist. "Nurse, let Mrs. Richmond come and go as she pleases to see Samantha Pearson. And let me know when we contact her brother?"

"No, problem, doctor." the nurse said. "Mrs. Richmond, here's a visitor's pass for you to go into the intensive ward." the nurse handed Lauri the badge.

"Thank you so much," Lauri said as reached for the pass.

Lauri felt faint as she walked slowly down the corridor to Samantha's room. Her whole body trembled with dread, fear, and what she would find in that room. She couldn't believe how the day's events had taken place. One minute her and Samantha were arguing, and now here she finds herself in this hospital her nerves all shot, with all these feelings she's facing for this woman, and now having to face Samantha and feeling this guilt that somehow she was to blame for Samantha's accident. Lauri approached the door to the extensive ward and pushed the door open. She showed the nurse her pass and the nurse directed her to the room where Samantha was.

Lauri hesistated before opening the door to Samantha's room. She tried to gather her strength before entering, but she felt the tears welling up inside of her. She walked through the door and saw Samantha lying there on the bed unconscious. Machines were everywhere. Ivy's all hooked up over her body. Lauri slowly approached the bed. She could here the monitors monitoring Samantha's heart beat and breathing.

Samantha's face was all swollen with cuts and bruises. Bandages covered most of her cuts but still they were evident. Lauri felt her tears roll down her face as she gently stroked Samantha's cheek. Lauri tried to hold back her tears but soon she was sobbing into the side of the bed as she held Samantha's hand. For the longest time Lauri sat there holding Samantha's hand. It was approaching midnight but she still couldn't find the energy to leave Samantha's side. She had to be there for her when she woke up...if she woke up that is.

The nurses and doctors would come in every hour or so checking on her, still finding Lauri there at the side of the bed holding Samantha's hand. The tears would come and go as the night wore on. Lauri continued stroking Samantha's hand, talking to her, praying silently for her recovery all through the night. Lauri desperately tried to stay awake but soon sleep over took her.

The sunlight from early morning shone through the window. Lauri awoke finding herself still resting on Samantha's bed holding her hand. Doctor Sou walked in. "Good morning, Mrs. Richmond. I see you were here all night. Why don't you go home and get some rest, if there are any changes we can give you a call. I'm glad Samantha has a good friend like you here for her. It's good news that she made it through the night, it gives us more hope that her chances of recovery are higher. Anyway, you get some rest and we'll give you a call if anything changes." the doctor said as he patted Lauri on her back.

"I'd rather stay here Dr. Sou, but your right I do need a few hours sleep and a shower. I'll be back in a few hours. Please call me if something changes?" Lauri said as she gathered her things and slowly looked back at Samantha.

"We will do that, Mrs. Richmond." the doctor said as he turned and examined Samantha.

Lauri turned and hesistantly walked out looking back at Samantha. "I'll be back soon Samantha," Lauri said under her breath. She was afraid of leaving Samantha,but she needed to freshen up a little as well and call the school and let them know that she wouldn't be in. And then head back to the hospital as soon as she could. She didn't want to be away from Samantha any longer than she had to be. So Lauri rushed out of there to get her things done.

A few hours had gone by, Lauri told the school that she wouldnt be in for a few days, freshed up, packed a few of her clothes and headed to the hospital. She figured this way she could shower there and wouldn't have to leave Samantha's side then.

Lauri arrived at the hospital to find Samantha in the same condition. She still hadn't awoken from the accident and the doctors were hoping by now that Samantha would be coming out of her unconsciousness. Lauri put her things down and sat beside the bed and held Samantha's hand as she had done the night before. "Samantha, you need to wake up. Please, do this for yourself. There are so many people here that want to see you get better. And I'm one of them." Lauri whispered to Samantha as she sat beside the bed.

Lauri continued to talk to Samantha encouraging her to wake up. Lauri talked about the past few days reliving those memories. Lauri began to share her feelings with Samantha and tell her how much she means to her. Lauri began to cry while she spoke to Samantha. "Samantha, I can't tell you how sorry I am for the things I had said to you the other day. You were right in everything you had said. Our kiss did mean so much to me...you mean so much to me. I'm so scared Samantha. I'm scared of losing you, and I'm scared of facing you and facing these feelings I have for you. I don't know how to handle these new feelings. I haven't felt this way for another woman before. It's so new to me. But right now, please hang in there, please wake up for me, for yourself, that is all I ask for right now...just please wake up and get better." Lauri reached up and stroked Samantha's hair and looked at her bruised face, but even then to her she was beautiful. Lauri leaned in and slightly kissed Samantha on her lips and sat back down next to the bed.

The night drew on, and Lauri still sat there talking and holding Samantha's hand and crying and praying. Lauri rested her head on the bed as sleep over took her.

The door opened and a young man of 30 or so walked in. He saw Lauri asleep with her head rested on the side of the bed. He noticed a bag of clothing and personal items next to the bed as well. He hated to wake this woman and interrupt what seemed an intimate moment but he needed to see his sister. He cleared his throat and made a noise to alert Lauri that someone was in the room. Lauri looked up and saw this man.

"Hi, excuse me, I'm sorry for waking you. I'm John Pearson, Samantha's brother. Are you a friend or girlfriend of Samantha's?"

"No, I'm Samantha's friend. Well actually I'm her instructor at school but I guess I would like to consider myself her friend as well." Lauri had said nervously to her brother.

John could tell that there was more than friendship there, and that there were feelings this woman held for his sister but he decided to not make her feel uncomfortable and didn't bring up any questions with that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. My sister has always been open with me about her being gay the past few years and I just assumed when I had saw you...anyway I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply anything. Anyway, how is she doing? I got here as soon as I could. I was away on a job I guess when the hospital had tried calling me. I'm so glad that you were here though for her. I'd hate to think that she had been here alone all this time. I'm her only family really now after our grand parents died a few years ago. It's just tough at times though for the both of us. Our parents died when we were young so anyway enough of my life story here. Sorry about that. I guess I can get carried away at times. John smiled at Lauri. "So has she woke up at all yet?" John had asked as he looked at his sister and stroked her face.

"No, I've been here a few days now and still she's been unconscious. The doctors aren't sure anymore about her recovery. They say the longer she stays unconscious the more grim it looks for her chances. Anyway let me leave here so you can have some time alone with your sister."

"No, that's alright. What did you say your name was?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't say. My name is Lauri Richmond."

"Well, Lauri, please stay. I think the more support my sister has here the better. Besides it makes me feel better knowing that you are here for her. I'm not sure how long I can stay since I left in the middle of my duty and unfortunately with the military nothing is an emergency for them but I had to come and see how she was doing. She's the only family I have left so we have to stick together. Please, stay won't you. Besides it gives me a chance to get to know you better, or vice versa." John said smiling. "Plus I think my sister would like you here as well."

Lauri smiled. "Sure John, I'm glad to stay. But if I impose on your time alone with your sister then let me know, okay? I think all we can really do is pray right now." Lauri said somberly.

John sat down next to Samantha. "Samantha, I'm here. It's John, your brother. Please wake up, okay, Samantha? I need you, your friends need you. Please if you can hear my voice, please don't give up, and come back to us. It's not your time sis. You got so much to live for and to do yet. Mom and dad would be so proud with what you've done so far. I know they would, cause I'm proud of you. I'm here for you sis so don't be leaving me now okay. I love you sis. Please wake up." tears began to form in John's eyes as he talked to his sister.

Lauri felt a little uncomfortable and was about to leave the room when John turned to her and asked her to stay. He told Lauri he was going to get some coffee and asked her if she would like some. Lauri was a little tired from being there all day and some coffee would be nice so she said she would like some.

Lauri waited while John went and got the coffee. "Samantha, there's so much I don't know about you. I'm sorry I never got to know you too well till now. I hope I still get the chance and that you'll give me that chance. It's nice meeting your brother. He seems really nice, and in a way like you Samantha in your expressions I've noticed. Please come back to me, I..."

Just then John walked in with two coffees. "Here you go," he handed Lauri the coffee. "So any change yet?"

"No, unfortunately." Lauri said.

"So Lauri, you said you've been here for a few days already. What about your work? You did say you taught my sister right? I'm sorry am I prying too much?"

"No, its okay. Well I just took a few days off. Since I run the department I guess I have my privileges...well at times anyway. But I did want to be here for your sister. But I know I have to get back to work next week, but I'll try and be here as often as I can though."

"That's really nice of you Lauri. I'm glad my sister has such a good friend." Yeah, I'd say more than a friend, John thought to himself. But John was glad for his sister. It's about time she met someone nice in her life. "So John, now I'm the one prying but I hope you dont mind me asking but you said your parents died when you guys were young. What happened to you and Samantha?"

"Well our parents were killed in a car crash when we were younger. I remember Samantha and I were staying at our grand parents at the time, and after that our grandparents basically raised us. Well we were pretty much already raised. I was 15 at the time and Samantha was 12 but it still was a rough time, especially for Samantha. She was really close to our mother, and I think after our mother died Samantha kind've lost direction for many years after that. Samantha kindve jumped into bad relationships and just made alot of bad decisions. She rushed into the Navy as well after I enlisted for some kind of direction I think, but it really wasn't what she was looking for. She met her ex husband there, who I might say was a real bastard, but anyway its taken her many years to finally get her life back together, and I'm real proud of her."

"You said Samantha was married?" Lauri said shocked.

"Yeah," John said smiling. "She wasn't always gay, in fact I think she didn't really know she was until a few years ago after her divorce. She was married for five years. She really did try and make it work but her ex was just a real jerk,as you can tell I didn't get along too well with him, but he was all wrong for her anyway. He didn't treat her right, and Samantha didn't think she deserved better and put up with his shit. I tried to get her out of that relationship for years but he had this control over her somehow. He was very mentally abusive,and I hated to see what it did to my sister. She was like a beaten puppy. She got out of the Navy for him, just when she finally was getting her life together and career advancement into place but he thought her job was to be an housewife. If you can believe that crap!! I hated this guy."




My Secret Love Ch. 02



"So how did she finally get out of the marriage then?" Lauri was intrigued with all that he was saying about Samantha.

"Well, that's a long story there, but briefly, he just went too far one day with Samantha hitting her, and she finally snapped I guess and came to her senses. Maybe she just finally grew up. I don't know, I shouldn't say that, but maybe she finally just accepted everything that had happened with mom and dad and finally faced her fears. Whatever the reason was Lauri, I'm just glad. It wasnt till a few years later that she realized that she might be gay. Actually I think that I knew back then, but I never questioned her about it. I figured she would tell me if she felt comfortable enough, and she did later on. My sister though is so weary of being hurt and getting into any relationship. She really puts so much of her heart into things. I just wish her to be happy and to find that special someone oneday, cause she really deserves it."

"Wow, you guys sure have gone through alot, and now this with your sister." Lauri said that feeling guilty. She didn't feel comfortable with telling John how it all happened.

Through the darkness I could here someone speaking, it was a woman's voice. Her voice was muffled but as time went on it seemed to become clearer. I couldn't move or talk. The blackness still engulfed me, but yet I could hear voices now. I didn't know how much time had passed but it seemed like an eternity. But this woman's voice. I could barely make out what was being said, a word here or there but nothing in full sentences. I tried to focus more on her voice. I know that voice. Wait a minute...Lauri, is that Lauri I'm hearing? Wait a minute. I have to think here, what was the last thing I remember. Oh yeah the car swerving off the exit, and then...and then nothing. So where am I? But that is definitely Lauri's voice I'm hearing, now if I can only figure out what she is saying.

The days went on, I think anyway cause I couldn't tell how much time had passed but I could always sense someone near me and talking to me, and as the days went on I could tell it was Lauri's voice, and now I could hear her say some words. Some of them sounded like out of love, or maybe it was just concern I was hearing. I couldn't move, but I could feel someone holding my hand. It felt nice, and comforting. I later realized that it was Lauri holding my hand and it made me feel comforted when the blackness engulfed me and the voices became silent again. But each time I kept hearing her voice pulling me back out of the darkness. She was telling me to wake up. But how, I was trying here. Please don't give up Lauri, keep talking to me. I have to keep trying to focus on your voice, please don't stop talking.

Blackness again, well maybe she left...no, I can still feel her hand. Maybe she's sleeping. Wait...she's crying. She's telling me how sorry she is. Oh Lauri I hope you don't think its your fault. It's not. Darkness again.

Damn this darkness, please don't stop talking. Wait...a man's voice. I know that voice too. What's he saying? He's talking to someone...he's talking to Lauri. John, yes, it's John. Oh John, you better not be telling her my life story. He's always too open with things.

John jumped up. "Did you feel that!" he yelled excitedly over at Lauri.

"What?" Lauri said.

"I felt her twitch." John leaned over the bed. "Samantha, this is John, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand honey, please do that, keep listening to my voice and try and wake up, okay?"

Yes John I can hear you, you kook. Okay I'll try and squeeze your hand. I got to concentrate here.

"Yes, that's it honey." "I felt it again!" he screamed out in joy. "She squeezed my hand!" John was jumping around the room crazy.

Lauri was over the bed as well and talked to Samantha. "Hi Samantha this is Lauri, if you can hear us please try and come back to us and wake up."

Now I can hear Lauri's voice, damn they're making too much noise it's hurting my ears. It's getting too loud now. What the hell are they doing...yelling at me?

I tried to form the words on my lips...yes it's coming, I can do this. "Joooohhnnn!" I screamed out. "Will you please keep it down!" wow did I just say that. For the first time I felt like I was in my body. Oh no, this doesn't feel too good. Pain!! Oh God, well I guess I'm alive.

"Samantha, yes, sweetheart, that's great. I heard you. Can you try and open your eyes for us?" John said.

This was going to be harder than I thought. But suddenly my eyes flung open. It was blurry at first but then the figures around me started to take form. There was John on oneside of me and Lauri on the other. Yes I could see them now.

"That's it baby, you can do it!" John encouraged me.

I opened my eyes and smiled up at John. "Hi, John, I'm glad to see your here. I turned my head slowly but with much pain as I groaned, but I saw Lauri and smiled. Thanks Lauri for being here too."

"How are you feeling baby?" John asked. "Like being hit by a truck, but other than that just great!"

John smiled, and looked over at Lauri, "She's going to be just fine Lauri, just fine...I've got my sister back...I've got my sister back!" John leaned in and hugged me. I let a little moan. "I'm sorry sis did I hurt you?"

"Um yes, I feel alot of pain right now, but I'm glad to be alive John, though ask me that in a few days?" I said smiling weakly.

My body was already tiring out and needed rest. Doctor Sou came in and examined me. "Your a real lucky lady Samantha. You gave us quite a scare. We'll give you some pain medication, and that will help some, but you had some major injuries and we had to operate so it will take some time for you to recover. I hope you don't expect too much too soon here." the doctor explained to me. "I'm glad your back with us Samantha, I'll come back and check on you later. You get some rest now, and if the medication wears off just call me or the nurse and we'll fix you right up. Just get better, okay?" the doctor patted me on my shoulder and walked out.

John and Lauri were standing there smiling. I was too tired to talk so I let my body fall back to sleep but I was comforted knowing that Lauri and John were there with me. They told me to rest and would be there when I woke, so I drifted off to sleep.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 03



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

"Sure am, let's get out of here." I said as I looked back out the window as Lauri started her car and we began on our way to her house.

Lauri's house wasn't that far from the school or hospital. Soon we were pulling into her drive way. Her house was a cute white home bordered with red brick. It looked pretty spacious from the outside. "Well, we're here." Lauri said. She got out of her car and came around the other side to help me out. "Here lean on my arm." Lauri said as she helped me step out. I grabbed my crutches and we walked to the front door. Lauri unlocked the door and held it open for me as I went in.

I waited for her to come in as I eyed the living room and house. I was surprised to see how antique looking it was. I wasn't expecting to see her house like that with kids I suppose. But it was really nice and quaint. It gave you that homey feeling. All cabinets were oak or some type of wood, even in the kitchen it was cabin looking. Lauri gave me a quick tour of the house. The basement was the laundry and reck room with a pool table I guess for her husband. Upstairs were the bedrooms and bathroom. It was only a two bedroom house so I was wondering where I was sleeping.

The kid's room had two bunk beds so I didn't think I would be in there. So maybe I would be on the couch cause she did say her couch pulled out into a sofabed. But Lauri didn't say anything.

She helped me up the stairs and after the tour of upstairs and showing me where the towels were, and bathroom and such, she took me into the master bedroom. It was a kingsize bed as well with beautiful antique wood framing around the bed. She had a huge walk-in closet so it definitely was really spacious. She placed my things down on one side of the bed. I stood there wondering why we were in her bedroom.

"Samantha I put your things over here, that way it's easier for you to get to the bathroom and move around."

"Am I going to be in here Lauri?"

"Of course, Samantha. I won't have you sleeping on the couch. I don't mind sleeping on the couch anyway, it's pretty comfortable."

"Your going to sleep on the couch? Really, Lauri, please this is your home, you shouldn't be the one sleeping on the couch. I really don't mind. Let me sleep on the couch."

So Lauri and I went back and forth arguing about who would sleep where. Finally I blurted out, "Well, we can't seem to agree on this can we? How bout, if you don't mind, and I don't mind, well if you don't feel uncomfortable that is, we can both just sleep on the bed. It's pretty big and I promise I won't bite." I said smiling.

Lauri looked a little nervous, but then she agreed. "Okay Samantha, I guess we can try it this way. But I must warn you I snore, and I sleep on the right side of the bed."

"That's fine. It's your bed, you get first pick. And as far as the snoring, well, don't worry, I'm a pretty heavy sleeper anyway. I lied, I was really a light sleeper but I didn't want her to feel bad."

I smiled at Lauri. "So I guess that's settled?"

"Yes it is," Lauri said. "So are you hungry?"

"Um...yeah a little, but please don't bother." "Samantha, I brought you back here to help you. Your in no condition to be moving around that much so let me just do these things for you...okay?"

"Okay," I said quietly feeling a little uncomfortable.

"So, how bout you get changed into your sweats or something less constricting, and I'll get some lunch started."

"Okay, that sounds good Lauri."

"Do you need help getting changed?"

"Um...no, thanks, its okay. I think I can do that much for myself."

"Okay, but if it gets too difficult just holler. Oh yeah, the remote is on the bed stand there, so just feel free to climb into bed and watch some tv, relax, while I get you and I some lunch. By the way, is BLT's for lunch okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine Lauri. Thanks." I said feeling a little uncomfortable being in her home, but maybe I would feel more at ease as time went on. And she did make me feel really welcomed in her home.

Well trying to get into my sweats and t-shirt was a little more difficult than I had thought. Each time I raised my arms above my head and tried to maneuver my shirt on I would pull on my stiches on my side, so it wasn't going too good. The pain was a little bit too much. I put my sweats on and tried again. "Damn," I yelled out getting frustrated.

Lauri must of heard me cause within seconds she was at the door asking me if everything was okay. "Yeah, I'm fine Lauri. Just having trouble getting my t-shirt on." I said a bit embarrassed. "Every time I raise my arm to get the t-shirt over my head I pull on my stiches. I guess I'm not suppose to raise my arms yet." I said smiling. "This is so frustrating, a stupid simple task like this shouldn't be so damn difficult!" I threw the t-shirt on the bed. I realized Lauri was standing there watching me and I was only in my bra. I suddenly felt a bit shy and nervous.

"Here," Lauri said as she walked over to me. "Let me help you." Lauri picked up my t-shirt and put the t-shirt over my head and helped me raise my arms into the arm sleeves. I felt like a kid with their mom dressing them, it was very unnerving cause the woman of my fantasies was the one helping me get dressed.

"Thanks, Lauri. I'm sorry." I looked down feeling like I was a burden.

"Samantha please don't feel sorry. I know your not totally recovered yet. If you need help with things, please just tell me, okay? I know you might feel a bit embarrassed, but please don't feel that way. I want you to feel comfortable around me. Please don't feel that your a burden either, cause your not. I brought you back here to my place so I could help you."

"Thanks, Lauri. I really do appreciate all that your doing for me. I really don't know how I can repay you."

"Don't worry about it Samantha. You have nothing to repay me for, so don't even think that way. Just get better. Anyway, I hope we've got that settled, so now how about some lunch? It'll be done in a few minutes so you get into bed there, watch some tv, and I'll be back soon."

Lauri rushed off again down the stairs before I even had a chance to say thank you again. It seemed like all I was saying was thank you to her lately. I gathered a couple of pillows and gently seated myself behind them on the bed and turned the tv on. Not much was on, and I wasn't use to being home during the week watching tv.

Usually this time of day I was still at school. I knew Lauri would be going back to work the next day as well. I was starting to miss school, and I knew I had really blown my chances. It had been a couple of weeks I had missed so far, and I knew there was no way I could get all of my clinical requirements in before graduation now. It saddened me, but I figured maybe something could be worked out. But I didn't know yet what that was.

I continued to flip through the channels, nothing took my interest. I was starting to get a bit bored and restless. I was use to being up and moving around. Lauri came up the stairs and asked if I was ready for lunch. She came in with a lap tray. I was surprised cause I thought we would be eating down stairs. "Lauri, I can't eat on this beautiful bed. Why don't you help me down the stairs and we can eat down there."

"Well, if you don't mind going up and down the stairs then. I just thought you would like to rest up here without me bothering you that much."

"No, it's fine. I'm really not that tired and I think the more I can try and be active the quicker I can get my body in shape and the sooner I can get out of your hands." I smiled at Lauri.

"Well, let me help you then." Lauri said as she took my arm in her hand and I had my crutch under my other arm. We slowly made our way down the stairs.

Lauri directed me to the dining room table and we both sat down. "What would you like to drink? Coke, water, juice, anything you like in particular or I could always buy something that you prefer as well?"

"Well, coke is fine. I probably drink too much of that anyway."

"That's what I normally drink too much of as well." Lauri said smiling as she handed me the coke.

It felt strange at first sitting across from her in her house eating but it also felt nice being so close to her. I was a little nervous about being there but as the day went on she really started to make me feel more at ease and comfortable around her. I soon wondered when we would actually talk about everything that had happened between us, but I didn't want to bring any of it up unless she did, so for now I just enjoyed whatever time I could have with her.

"This is really good Lauri."

"Yeah, okay Samantha. Come on it's not that hard to make a BLT." She said jokingly at me. "Well I do appreciate this so much, I hope you know that."

"I do Samantha, and you don't have to keep telling me thank you. I want you to feel comfortable here the next few weeks or however long you need to stay here, but I want you to feel at home...okay?"

"Well, I will try Lauri, but to be honest with you I am a little nervous and all being here."

"Yes, I gathered you were a bit. I know there's alot yet that needs to be talked about." Lauri paused a little. "but if you don't want to, we don't have to. I didn't mention anything yet cause I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable and figured when you were ready you would mention something. But as I said, if your not ready or just don't want to talk about anything that happened the past few weeks we don't have to. Samantha, I do want you to know that I am sorry for what I said that day to you. I do feel responsible for your accident in some way."

I interrupted Lauri there. "Please, Lauri, you have nothing to feel responsible about. I'm the one who drove careless and just wasn't paying attention." "Well yes, but Samantha you were obviously upset and I caused that."

"Yes, Lauri, I was upset but you had nothing to do with the accident. What you said to me was right. It shouldn't have happened. It was wrong. Your my instructor, well, you were, now I'm not too sure about school anymore. But anyway what you said you shouldn't apologize for, you shouldn't apologize for telling me the truth." "Well, that's it Samantha. I wasn't telling you the truth. I was scared, and I wasn't admitting my feelings. I didn't quite know how to handle it all, and I'm afraid I didn't handle it too well. I still don't know how to handle this very well." Lauri said under her breath. She was starting to feel a little nervous and wasn't really prepared to get into this conversation at the dinner table but when Samantha had initiated the conversation it just started. Lauri paused for a few moments.

"Lauri, you don't have to say anything if you feel uncomfortable, or if your not ready."

"No, that's not it Samantha. I'm actually a little nervous to tell you the truth to be around you as well, and this conversation has just brought up some feelings in me, but I do want to have this conversation with you and tell you how I feel. Can we go sit on the couch and talk about this?"

"Sure, wherever you feel comfortable Lauri."

Lauri cleared the dishes off the table and helped me to the couch. We both sat down and sat in silence for a few minutes. Lauri was way over on the other side of the couch. She couldn't get any further away. It was definitely very awkward for the both of us. We sat there not eyeing each other. Finally we both looked at each other at the same time and started to laugh out loud.

"You know Lauri you don't have to sit so far away. I won't bite or anything." I smiled at her. "I'm nervous too Lauri, but I hope you know that it's alright whatever you have say to me. Everything I said to you that day I meant from my heart. I did have feelings for you...Um...well I still do. That kiss did mean alot to me. But I hope you know that I do understand if you don't feel the same. You don't have to say anything that you feel forced in saying just because I may feel a certain way. I really do understand. Believe me, after all of this Lauri, I think I have come to understand quite a bit more than I have liked. Almost losing my life, well, let's say it really puts alot of things in perspective. Lauri, I know your married, you have kids, I know your having problems with your husband, and I know how confusing and maybe vulnerable you were feeling that oneday so I do understand. I just don't want you to feel that you have to say anything to me." I paused and continued to talk but Lauri interrupted me.



"So Samantha, can I get a word in here sometime." She smiled at me and we both started to laugh again. It felt really nice laughing with her. I could feel my heart and my feelings begin to open up to her again. Secretly I was hoping she would tell me that she felt the same towards me, but in the back of my mind I was still a little weary of everything that had happened and been said, and I didn't want to hope for too much.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 04



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

There we were sitting on the couch, me rambling away trying to ease Lauri into feeling comfortable and not having to make her feel forced in anyway in having to tell me anything, but she surprised me. She interrupted me, and after a few moments of laughing and enjoying the moment Lauri became serious with me again.

"So Samantha, where were we?" Lauri paused for a few moments and moved closer to me on the couch. "I really do want to get this out in the open and finally explain things to you. Please Samantha, don't think I'm being forced into saying anything just because I know you have feelings for me. I want to tell you how I truly feel, and not what was said that day. It's very scary and confusing for me, I don't admit to understand any of this really or how it came about, but all I know Samantha is that I, too, have feelings for you. I don't know really when it started or how it developed but after all that has happened the past few weeks between us, our kiss, us arguing, my fears that day, and then seeing you lay in that hospital fighting for your life. Well it's made me realize that you mean something to me, that your important to me. Damn..." Lauri said flustered. "This isn't really coming out the right way."

"Lauri, it's okay. Just tell me what you feel now from your heart. There is no wrong way to tell someone the truth."

"Samantha, I'm not good at expressing my feelings, and to tell you the truth I'm very nervous here. You bring out all these new feelings in me that I haven't felt before and I'm confused and scared and just so many feelings all at once. I don't know how this will work out Samantha or where any of this will lead but I do care for you...well, more than care for you." Lauri hesitated for a few seconds. "Samantha, I think I love you as well. That day these feelings were so overwhelming for me that it scared me too much and I didn't want to admit these feelings to myself either, and the only way I knew how to deal with them was to push you away. And being your instructor well that was the best thing and the right thing to do for everyone concerned, at least I had thought that it was at the time. Now...I still don't know. I didn't know this would happen, or that I would find myself with these feelings for you. I love my husband still and am just so confused!"

Lauri's nerves were shot. She wanted to get away from Samantha and run, but she knew she had to tell Samantha how she felt, even if that meant that she still loved her husband as well and wasn't sure about any of this. "Lauri, I don't know where any of this will lead either. I realize you still love your husband and you have a family, and I don't want to come between that. Lauri, we don't have to go any where with this. I do love you Lauri, and I do understand your confusion and these new feelings that you have. I won't push anything on you that you don't want. How about we don't put any pressure on us at all for anything to happen, okay? We've both been honest in how we feel about each other, so how bout we just take each day as it comes and just see what happens. Let's not expect anything, and just be friends, and if things happen then we'll face that then. But for now I hope we can become good friends anyway." I said reaching for Lauri's hand.

Lauri smiled at me and grabbed my hand as well and gave it a squeeze. Her hands were shaking a little as she held mine.

"Thanks, Samantha, your such a wonderful person. Thanks for understanding me, and being so, well, just being so understanding." Lauri said smiling at me as she squeezed my hand. "And I would love to become a good friend of yours. In fact, I hope we already are."

Lauri leaned in and gave me a gentle hug not wanting to squeeze too much with my sore ribs from the accident that was still recovering. It took me quite by surprise. To feel her arms around me brought my feelings to the surface again that I had to keep in check. I had to remind myself, go slow Samantha, just friends, remember just friends, at least for now I was thinking anyway. I returned the hug and wrapped my arms around Lauri. For a hug it sure seemed to linger longer than what would be considered a normal friendly hug. It felt so nice and warm to feel her arms around me. But I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable so I slightly pulled away and smiled.

If I didn't know better, I had thought I heard a slight disgruntle as I pulled away, but I pretended I heard nothing. She definitely wants this, I thought to myself. I just have to be subtle in letting her see that and make the right moves in making that happen.

It was a silent awkward moment right after the hug as we looked at each other. I didn't want to be forward with her, but at that moment I wanted to kiss her so bad. Memories of our last kiss together flashed through my mind. That kiss in her office was filled with such passion and lust. I shook the thought from my mind. Before I knew what was happening, Lauri was leaning forward and slightly and so softly she kissed my lips. It wasn't like our kiss before, this kiss was so soft and slow. She pulled back and looked at me unsure of herself.

I reached my hand up and cupped her face as I looked within her eyes. That is all she needed for assurance as she leaned forward again and gently pressed her lips to mine. Her arms reaching around me and embracing me as she pulled me gently into her as our kiss deepened. I allowed her tongue entry as I felt her tongue slowly enter me so lovingly. Her kiss was so feathery and light, so gentle like she didn't want to hurt me, but it was so loving that it touched my heart with so much love for her. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as she kissed me. My hand caressed her face as she held me so gently to her. She slightly pulled her lips away while still holding me to her as her hand gently reached up and stroked my face as she looked into my eyes. She was so beautiful at that moment as she looked at me with so much love. The tears began to roll down my cheeks. She gently and lovingly wiped them away as she whispered that she loved me and held me into her once again.

For the rest of that afternoon not much was said between us. She held me close to her that afternoon so lovingly as we just enjoyed our company together. Nothing else happened other than the closeness we shared of opening up our hearts to one another. We watched some tv and just held each other for the rest of the afternoon as we both dozed in and out of sleep, not saying a word.

The kiss we shared on the couch earlier that afternoon was so soft and loving. I wasn't sure where we would go from there, but I just enjoyed this time that we did have together. It was getting late in the evening, and we both ended up snacking on some food that Lauri had in the house, and we talked a little about our life, our feelings. Lauri asked me some questions about what my brother had told her in the hospital about my marriage and all of that so we talked the rest of the night sharing and opening up to each other about our lifes.

We both were unsure where any of this would go, so we just enjoyed each others company and stayed in that closeness that the kiss had brought to us this afternoon and left things with that for now. It was going on past midnight and we were both tired. It had been a touching and very intimate night of sharing and talking, and learning and growing closer together. Lauri talked about her family and showed me pictures of her childhood, and pictures of her own children. She talked about the loss of her father a few years ago to cancer who was her world, and how hard it was at first for her to handle that loss.

I talked to her about my parents being killed and how the loss and closeness of my mother had affected me and how for awhile it had destroyed me. How I lost my way for awhile after that, and how it took me many years to get my life back together again.

We shared so many things together,and found ourselves becoming much closer and understanding each other even better. I found myself falling even more dangerously in love with her. She had my heart, and it scared me. It scared me so much cause I knew she had a life with her husband and children, and I wondered where I fit in all of that in her life. I wanted to be cautious, to not let myself get too close, and turn and run from her...from my feelings, but I just couldn't help myself being even more drawn into her, and loving her even more. I wanted all of her, and it scared the hell out of me.

Lauri got up and helped me up. She helped me up the stairs to the bedroom. I went into the bedroom, but hadn't a clue where my clothes were. Lauri had headed to the bathroom so I scrambled around, and yelled out to Lauri. "Lauri, do you know where my clothes are, the others you brought in earlier?" "Oh yes Samantha, sorry about that. I put some of your clothes in the dresser drawer near the tv stand." Lauri said as she walked in. When I went to your apartment I wasn't sure what to pack so I grabbed quite a few of your things and placed them in the drawers there. I hope you don't mind?"

"No, I don't mind at all. I gave you my keys to get some of my clothes, I guess I didn't expect you to pack my whole apartment. I'm kidding." I said smiling at her. "Thanks, Lauri, I really do appreciate that. Did you happen to pack any of my pj's in there when you went to my apartment?"

"Um, no, I didn't see any. What do you normally sleep in?" Lauri said a bit shy at asking that question.

"Well, normally in the summer I just sleep in my underwear and a t-shirt, but I do have some summer pj's that I wear if I have company staying over." I said smiling again at Lauri. "Well, your welcome to sleep in anything you want, and if you need to borrow any of my t-shirts or anything just let me know, okay?"

"Thanks, Lauri. Well tonight I"ll just wear these shorts and this t-shirt. I don't want to gross you out with all my bandages and all showing so I'll keep them covered."

"Samantha, please don't say that. You wouldn't gross me out with seeing your injuries. Your here to recuperate, remember. And I'm here to help you. So anyway while we're on that subject, can I help you change and help you change any of your dressings?"

"Um...well, I don't want to bother you." I said hesitantly.

"Samantha, please, come on now. Here, tell me what we need to do and I'll help you."

"Well, can you help me remove this shirt. It hurts too much for me to lift my arms up too high."

Lauri walked over to me and helped me slip off my t-shirt. My bandages covered where the doctors had operated, and some I wore as constiction around my ribs to help them repair.

"Lauri, can you reach around here? Yeah, there, that's good. I have some solution there the doctor wants me to wash over the area there to keep it sterile and then I have some bandages in my bag there near the bed I brought in from the hospital."

Lauri grabbed the sterile solution and helped me remove my bandages. Lauri told me to lay down as she cleaned the area for me. I was a bit embarrassed and apprehensive with this but she made me feel at ease. So I laid down on the bed onto my side as Lauri was behind me.

"Samantha if this hurts let me know, I'll try and do this as gently as I can."

"Okay, Lauri. Don't worry I'm use to the nurse doing this so it's okay really."

Lauri grabbed some sterile gauze and solution and began to gently clean the area where my stiches were. I jumped a little at first contact but then relaxed into it as Lauri continued. The bruises and cuts were still evident from my accident but were healing rather nicely. Even my ribs weren't as sore and I seemed to have a little more movement. I laid there relaxed as I felt Lauri's hands gently caring for me. It felt nice having her do this for me. Lauri then grabbed the bandages and surgical tape and covered up my stitches. She helped me up again and helped me wear the constriction suit around my ribs.

"There, how's that?" Lauri asked. "That feels good Lauri. Thanks for helping me here. I don't think I"ll have to wear this thing too much longer." I said pointing to the body bandage around my ribs. I didn't know quite what to call it but I had seen this before with people who had surgery or liposuction where the doctor made them wear this thing. It was comfortable enough so I didn't mind too much. "So Lauri, how did the stiches look?"

"Actually it looks like it's getting better, there doesn't seem to be as much swelling as before like last week when the nurse had done this. Here let me help you with your t-shirt." Lauri helped me put my shirt back on. "There you go. Okay, ready for bed then?"

"Yeah, thanks so much for the help Lauri." I said as Lauri helped me climb under the covers.

"No problem there Samantha, I want to help you all that I can, okay? So ask me anytime."

Lauri climbed in the bed on the other side. She was wearing a night shift. It looked really nice and sexy on her, though a little less clothing would have been nice as well. Lauri turned towards me. "Are you going to be okay Samantha, do you need any extra pillows?"

"No, I'm fine thanks Lauri." I said as I layed down on the bed and got comfortable.

I think we were both a little nervous but it felt nice being close to her. Lauri was about to turn back but stopped. She looked at me and gently ran her hand through my hair. She leaned forward and slightly kissed me on my lips. "Goodnight Samantha." She said and then turned over and layed down in the bed.

"Goodnight Lauri." I rolled on my side and soon found sleep taking over me. It had been such a long day, with coming home from the hospital, Lauri and I being open and honest with each other finally, and then the kiss, the most beautiful kiss I had ever experienced. Maybe it was because I truly loved her, and that made the difference with everything. It felt good being near her, though my fears were still very real of losing her, but I knew I had no right really to expect anything more from her.

Unbeknownst to me Lauri was laying there in her thoughts as well as I drifted off to sleep. "Oh Samantha, I do love you, I can't help but fall in love with you every time I see you. I want to take care of you, and do so much for you. I'm so confused. I wish things were easier for me to sort these feelings out. I wish I didn't have to choose between my feelings for you and my husband. But damn it, I want you so bad in my life. What are we going to do Samantha." Lauri pondered to herself as she layed there.

Lauri rolled towards me, my back was turned to her. She gently ran her fingers down my face. "What are we going to do," she thought again as she looked at my sleeping body. "I love you Samantha," Lauri whispered as she rolled back over and fell asleep.

The early morning sunlight shining through awoke me. I felt something heavy on me. I realized Lauri's arm was draped over me. I smiled to myself at how nice that was that she was all cuddled up to me. I wondered if she did that in her sleep and realized that she had her arm around me. I didn't want to startle her so I slightly moved feigning sleep to just see if Lauri would reposition her arm or stay in that position. As I slightly moved out of reach, she followed moving her arm around me again.

Hmm...I wondered. Is she still sleeping? This time I reached my arm towards her and held her hand. I slightly caressed her hand as my back was still turned from her. I felt her move a little now. I rolled towards her. Her eyes were still shut. I looked at her beautiful face as she still lay sleeping, at least I think she was still sleeping. I gently caressed her face, running my fingers down her jawline. She still laid still.

I leaned in a little closer and slightly kissed her lips. Still no response. I let my fingers trail down her neck to the crevice of her breasts. Do I dare go any further I thought to myself. I felt my body beginning to become a little warmer. I shouldn't do it, but the temptation was too much for me. I trailed my fingers down her jaw, her neck again, then I remained still as my fingers ran so daringly close to her breast. I went a little further down her crevice. Still no movement. It shouldn't hurt, I thought, she's still sleeping. I began to feel a wetness start between my legs...damn I thought. I really need to touch myself, for her to touch me. I guess I must be feeling better I smiled to myself if that area of my body is functioning okay.

I stopped. Lauri slightly moved so I stayed very still. She seemed to have fallen back to sleep again, so I began tracing my fingers down her crevice again so slowly creeping towards her nipple. I traced around the material that covered around her nipple. Her nipple instantly became hard. I traced my fingers to her other breast, and slightly but slowly traced around her other nipple. I couldn't help myself but squeeze her breast a little.

I wanted her so bad, but in the condition I was in, I was in no condition yet for love making, or whether her and I would even go that far, I wasn't sure. She was so beautiful there and still sleeping. And I was so wet. I let my hand slip into my underwear and began to stroke myself. I had been so turned on by touching her that I had to release myself.

I turned over to my back away from Lauri and opened my legs a little more. Lauri was still sleeping so I pulled my underwear down a little and spread myself open a little more. I let my fingers enter me. It felt so good. I needed more and began to thrust my fingers a little deeper. With each thrust of my fingers I let out a little moan. I had to keep quiet cause I didn't want to wake her. I felt myself nearing my climax. It didn't take long for I was already so turned on by fantasizing that Lauri was doing this to me that it pushed me over the edge. I let my fingers now focus on my clit, stroking faster now, and that last stroke of my clit pushed me over the edge and I climaxed right there. I muffled a little moan as my orgasm ripped through me. My sweat now soaking my clothes. I let out a big sigh of air as I had been trying to hold my breath and not make any noise as I had touched myself.

Lauri was still sleeping, so I pushed myself up. The crutches were leaning against the bed so I reached for them, and got up and walked, or I should say more like limped as best you can with crutches. I wanted to clean the musk smell and sweat off of me before Lauri woke up so I headed to the bathroom.

As soon as Samantha left the room Lauri moved and let out a big sigh. She had been awake the whole time and heard everything. Lauri felt Samantha caress her face, moving slightly down her jawline and neck. At first she was about to move to let Samantha know she was awake but then decided to wait to see what Samantha was going to do. Plus she didn't want Samantha to stop. She wanted Samantha to touch her more, she wanted to reach around and touch her as well and let Samantha know that she wanted her, but she didn't know what to do. She was scared about these new feelings so she laid there still feigning sleep as she felt Samantha's hand move further down her neck to her breasts. Samantha caressed her nipple, then moving to her other breast. Lauri held her breath trying not to let out a moan as Samantha squeezed and caressed at her breasts. She felt her wetness between her legs and the need to touch herself.

Samantha rolled over. Thank God, Lauri thought to herself. I don't think I could have held it in much longer with her continuing to touch me like that. But then all of a sudden she heard little moaning noises. Lauri opened her eyes slightly and looked at Samantha out of the corner of her eyes while she still feigned sleep. Samantha was on her back, her legs were open and underwear down a little. Oh shit, Lauri thought to herself, she's touching herself.




My Secret Love Ch. 04



Lauri suddenly felt a flood of wetness through her underwear. She laid very still cause she didn't want to disturb Samantha but her center was so hot and her breathing was becoming very rapid with each sound she heard Samantha make. She wanted Samantha to touch her so bad. She wanted to reach down and touch her clit but she didn't want to make any movement. Hearing Samantha was turning her on so much. It was pure torture for Lauri. She was hoping Samantha would climax soon so she could get up and run to the bathroom and release herself. Then she heard Samantha let out one last moan as she felt the bed shake a little as Samantha orgasmed.

Lauri's heart was beating so fast that she was sure that Samantha must know she was awake. She tried to calm her breathing as she laid still. She felt Samantha get up and walk out. Lauri wanted to ask if she needed any help to get up but then Samantha would know she was awake and she didn't want to embarrass her so she lay there still waiting to see if Samantha could get out of bed herself, and she did. As soon as Samantha left the room, Lauri took a deep inhale and immediately touched herself and brought herself to an orgasm while she kept an eye on the door to make sure Samantha didnt walk back in on her, but she knew it would be awhile yet before Samantha would get back. Lauri orgasmed a few more times. She had never felt such an intense orgasm before as this, hearing Samantha and feeling her touch her was more than she had ever felt before that it brought her to another level.

Lauri grabbed some towels from the linen closet and wiped herself up a little as she waited for Samantha to return. Samantha walked in a few minutes later. "Morning Lauri, I didn't know you were up yet?"

"Morning Samantha. Yes, I just got up a few minutes ago. Were you able to get down to the bathroom okay? You know you could have woke me if you needed help?" Lauri said, though knowing all too well that she laid there awake listening to Samantha.

"No, it was fine Lauri. I guess I'm getting use to moving around a little better now and maneuvering a little better with these crutches. So it wasn't a problem. I have to move a little slower but I'm able to get there." Samantha said smiling.

"So are you up for some breakfast then?" Lauri asked.

"I sure am. How bout you let me help as well."

"Hmmm...I don't know Samantha. I don't think your that better yet to be doing too much. You know you still have to take it easy."

Yeah, if only you knew how better I was feeling, Samantha thought to herself.

"Well, I'd still like to help some. I don't want you slaving over the stove while I'm here."

"I tell you what," Lauri said. "How bout when your feeling much better than I'll let you cook a nice dinner for me. That's fair isn't it?"

"Okay, Lauri. For now anyway." I said smiling at her.

"Why don't you go get washed up then. There's some towels and washcloths in the bathroom. I know you can't get your cast wet so just wash up in the tub. I know how much of a pain that is but look on the bright side, the doctor did say in a few more weeks to call him to set up an appointment to have it removed." Lauri said with warmth in her voice.

"Okay, your right Lauri." I grabbed some of my clothes and tucked them under one of my arms. Lauri saw how difficult it was for me and took my clothes from my hand and helped me down the stairs. I went off to the bathroom to clean up as Lauri went to the kitchen to prepare for breakfast.

Not long after I could smell bacon and eggs cooking. Mmmm...it smelt so good and was watering my mouth. I guess I was getting a little hungry, a sure good sign that I was getting back to my old self again. I loved to eat. I always tried to keep in shape and exercised as much as I could before cause I always made up for it with my appetite. And with me gaining my appetite back again meant that I was on my way to recovery. Well my early morning actions should have proven that to me, I thought smiling to myself as I continued to wash myself up.

I changed into some shorts and another t-shirt. This one was bigger and baggier on me so I was able to get it on without any help this time. But I felt my ribs not feeling so tight anymore so I could move a little better and seemed a little more flexible anyway. My bruises seemed to be fading as well and lessening quite a bit. I guess I should be glad that I didn't look like death anymore, my brother's words to be exact, as I remember him saying those words to get me to accept Lauri's offer of help.

Well soon I would be totally recovered, I frowned to myself, which meant soon I wouldn't be at Lauri's anymore. I knew I couldn't overstay my welcome, nor could I fake not healing as quickly either. I guess I was just enjoying myself too much at Lauri's now and I really enjoyed her company. I felt so close to her now. We shared so much together up to this point, that I didn't want to go backwards...I didn't want to lose her and how much we had gained so far. Last night we made such headway with each other, and then to even kiss again. I don't know where this will lead. I'm so scared of being so hurt by her, and being so vulnerable to her, but I'm afraid at this point it's a bit too late for me. I'm already so crazy in love with her that I can't back out now. My heart is in it too deeply, I said to myself as I looked into the bathroom mirror.

I know what I said to her last night about not rushing things, or putting any pressure on each other to be anything more than friends, but I sure hope that our kiss was any indication that she wants more. Well, I sure hope so.

I know she wants this, I just have to make it happen somehow. I finished up in the bathroom while all these thoughts rushed through my head. I heard Lauri banging away with the dishes. Breakfast smelled really good. Well for now I'm hungry, let's begin there first Samantha, then we'll come up with how we can seduce Lauri. I smiled at that thought.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 05



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

So, I thought to myself, how am I going to do this? I have to be subtle in my ways somehow. Thoughts of how I might seduce Lauri ran through my head for the better part of the day. But I came to the conclusion that it wouldn't be me to be the one making the moves, I had to be subtle enough to make her do it. This had to be her, and she would have to be the one who wanted this with me, well, I would have to make her think that way.

This wouldn't be easy, I thought, considering I had never done this before and am usually a very unaggressive or assertive type person. I'm not use to making the first move or doing anything like this, but I wanted Lauri to be a part of my life. I wanted her to want me as well, and to want this. I can't force her into anything, she'll have to want this for herself.

And that would be my whole plan somehow. I planned in my head that this is what I would do, as each day went by and I recovered more and felt better anyway that I would be more subtle in my ways of undressing in front of her and doing things like that. Maybe I would gently brush my hand against her breast without even realizing it...hmmm...yes that's good, I smiled to myself. Well that's my plan anyway, but we'll see how it goes.

I continued to sit there on the couch in my thoughts pondering away, not even realizing that Lauri had been staring at me.

"Samantha, what are you thinking about? You seem pretty quiet over there. What...you didn't like my breakfast?" Lauri said smiling as she came and sat next to me on the couch with a little concern though in her voice. "Um...Just thinking about some things is all."

"Really, well I hope nothing too serious anyway. Is everything okay? Your feeling okay, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Lauri. Just have a few things on my mind is all."

"Are you thinking about what happened with us last night? I hope you don't think that our kiss didn't mean anything to me, cause it did. And..."

I interrupted Lauri.

"No, Lauri, I know it meant something to you. Believe me Lauri I could tell that it did." I said smiling as I looked at her. "That's not what's on my mind here. I guess I'm just thinking about other things, about school, and things like that. How I am going to graduate and take the boards with missing so much with clinical lab now, and just a few other things on my mind, but nothing to be concerned about, really...okay?"

"Hmmm..." Lauri thought. "Samantha, actually I have been doing some checking around for you and been talking to the dean of the school here. And as far as your board exams, well, unfortunately you'll still have to wait till you can complete your required clinical hours before you can take them and get licensed to work. But on the good side here, I was told though that you still will be able to graduate with the class and receive your diploma."

"Really, that's great news!" I screamed with overjoy. "So your saying somehow I'll have to make up my clinical hours here, or do I do it somewhere else?"

"Well, I haven't checked that far into yet, whether you do it here or not, but I'm sure that will be easily enough to do, but the good news is that you do have enough to be able to graduate."

I was so happy that I just about knocked Lauri over hugging her with excitement. "I think that's wonderful news Lauri, and I'm so grateful to you for checking that out for me. I can't thank you enough!" I screamed again hugging her. I pulled back in pain after yelping a little.

"Are you okay?" Lauri said with concern as I grabbed at my ribs and grimaced a little.

"Yeah, it's fine Lauri. Guess I got a bit over excited there." I smiled a little while still in some pain.

Lauri just gave me one of her frowns of disapprovement there as we sat on the couch and continued to talk. I was glad though that Lauri had done some checking for me cause I had been somewhat concerned with school, but my real thoughts were on her that day, and just focusing on recovering the next few weeks anyway.

We sat for awhile and just had another lazy day relaxing on the couch and watching tv. Lauri had to get back to work the next day so I would be at her house alone for awhile, which I didn't mind so much, but I had come to enjoy her company and I actually think I would miss her for those few hours that she would be away, even though she did say she would stop back at lunch time and all, and call me periodically during the day if I needed her.

She wanted to take another week off, but I told her I would be fine and that she really needed to get back to school. We discussed it for awhile but I think she knew as well that she had to get back, and that she couldn't keep saying she was sick or having family problems for time off. No one at school knew I was staying with her. They had heard about the accident but assumed I guess that my brother was helping me out. Lauri was still concerned about me getting around okay on my own but I talked her into agreeing that I would be fine on my own. Besides it had been a few weeks since the accident and I was actually recovering faster than I had even thought.

That thought alone though frightened me cause I knew that more than likely I would be back at my own apartment sooner than I thought as well and that Lauri would be back to her own life with her kids and husband. We still didn't discuss the extent of her problems with her husband, nor the reason why they separated, or for that matter where I fit into all of this, but I just figured she would tell me when she was ready.

This time together was wonderful, the sharing and intimate talks we did have brought us closer together. I would have never imagined her to be this way in school, so soft and warm, and loving. I guess the teacher image she displayed in school was just her rough exterior she shows to people, but once you really get to know her, she is truly an remarkable woman. And I felt so lucky that I got to see that side of her.

That day and evening was like the night before. We didn't do too much other than relax and share more about our life, though she still didn't mention anything about her husband, so I didn't push it. We sat on the couch and I think we were about all talked out so we sat there in silence for awhile. At every chance I got, I tried to casually always make some type of physical contact with her, whether that was slightly brushing my hand against her arm or leg while we talked or anything to just trigger any response in her.

This would yet be the beginning of my seduction games, I thought to myself. By the end of this week, or later she'll definitely be so frustrated and then maybe I could move on to the next plan of mine. I snapped out of my thoughts, and had an idea.

"Hey, Lauri. Do you have any games, or cards? How bout we play something?" I said breaking the silence.

"Hmmm...well let me think here." Lauri pondered. "Well as far as I know Samantha all I have around the house is kid's games, but I do think I have a deck of cards somewhere. I'm not very good at cards though. My husband has a pool table down stairs though."

"Well what card games do you know?"

"Not too many Samantha, a little poker is about it"

"Well, I'm not too good either, but poker sounds good. How bout we play a little. It beats having the tv on all night anyway."

"Okay, that sounds good. Let me go search my kitchen drawers here, I think I saw them around here the other day." Lauri got up and went into the kitchen and I could hear her banging around looking for the cards. This could be pretty interesting I imagine, I thought to myself as I took a sip of my coke.

A few minutes later Lauri walked in with a couple of deck of cards. "Samantha, how bout a night cap. I'm sure a little one wouldn't hurt, in fact, it may help you feel a little better, and sleep better tonight as well."

"Hmm...actually that does sound good. I don't think the doctor would have any objections, and it has been a few weeks now, actually it's been longer than that now, hasn't it Lauri? It's been probably a month now I would say, and anyway I do feel pretty good other than my leg and sore ribs, so yeah, why not. What do you have?"

"Well, we have an array of selections here that my husband keeps in the house. We have tequilla, whiskey, Sambucha, vodka, wine...you name it I think we have it."

"Well, hmmm...I guess I shouldn't go too heavy, but vodka and club soda sounds good."

"Okay, that sounds pretty good to me as well, so I might join you with that." Lauri rushed off to the kitchen again and prepared our drinks. "Samantha, do you want ice with that?"

"Yeah, that would be fine Lauri. Thanks." I said yelling out to her.

Lauri walked back in with two glasses of drinks and handed mine to me. We both took a couple of sips of our drinks and placed them on the table near the couch. Lauri took the cards out of the packet and started to shuffle them. "So what do you want to play, jacks or better than?"

"Yeah, that's good. I'm not that good at poker anyway. So something simple will be fine."

"Well," Lauri said smiling at me as she continued to shuffle and pass out the cards. "How bout we make this interesting?"

"What do you mean." I said looking puzzled at her.

"Well, if we can't play for money, and I know we can't cause we're both in binds with that," she said looking up at me, "but how about a little truth or dare type of game who ever wins each hand the other person has to do what the other person dares them, or they can opt for truth."

"Truth or dare, huh?" I looked away in thought. So who's the one being sneaky here, I thought. It looks like she's the one playing games with me. Well two can sure play at this game, darn if only I was much better than I could really show her a game or two. "Okay Lauri, we can do that if you think you dare." I said laughing.

"Alright Samantha" Lauri said smiling as she handed the cards out.

I looked at my cards and held them closer to me. I had one king, and two seven's. It wasn't a very good hand but I opted to hang onto the sevens for a three of a kind. We both discarded the ones we didn't want. "Okay, what you got?" I said.

Lauri laid out two pair of nines, and fours. "So beat that" she said smiling. "Okay, sure will." And I laid my three of a kind on the table of the seven's I had got.

"Hmmm..." Lauri laughed. "So you won that hand, so what do you want to do about it...truth or dare Samantha?"

This was her game so I wasn't sure about that yet, and I was actually quite nervous. Sure I had in my mind of how I would try and seduce her but when it comes down to it, I'm such a wus, coward, yeah I admit it. So I thought for awhile, I could have her kiss me again, but no that would be too easy.

"Okay, anything...right Lauri?"

"Yep, you won, so go ahead lay it on me."

I reached and took another sip of my drink, feeling a bit nervous so I had to take a few more sips here. I cleared my throat.

"Okay, I give you a choice of any particular clothing you would like to remove, and that's it, well not quite, it has to be, let's see...okay..." I smiled wickedly at her. "It has to be an under garment of some sort, your choice, underwear or your bra Lauri? Cough it up." I said laughing not expecting her to actually go through with it.

Lauri looked at me and smiled back. So Samantha, she thought to herself, want to get a bit daring huh, well, we'll see just how far your willing to go, Lauri thought as she stood up and reached up under her shirt and unsnapped her bra and threw it in my face.

I didn't see anything though, damn, I thought. Lauri was about a size C I would say, bigger than me but I would love to get a look at her breasts under that shirt I thought wickedly, among other things.

My thoughts began to wander off to remembering the feel of her breast in my hand so soft and firm and vuluptuous and... Oh well, I'll have to win the next hand. We weren't wearing much anyway other than our shorts and t-shirts since it was a hot summer day and evening so I figured it wouldn't take long before...well let's see I thought to myself smiling. I took Lauri's bra and looked at it and smiled. "Nice," I said smiling looking over at Lauri. She just gave me a quick smirk and sat back down and we reshuffled the cards and started another hand.

"Okay, give me two more here." I said. "Okay, show me what you have Samantha, your turn"

I laid down another three of a kind. "there you go, " I said smiling. "Beat that!"

Lauri looked at me straight faced, and then threw down a flush. "I win," She said all happy. "Damn!!"

"Okay, Samantha, now let's see what can I make you do. I guess it's only fair I make you remove an item of clothing as well since you so lovely had me remove mine. So how bout your bra as well."

I looked at Lauri and gave her a pout. "Okay, I guess it's only fair." I turned around lifted up my shirt and removed my bra, then pulled my shirt back down and sat down throwing my B cup size into Lauri's lap. She smiled at me and thanked me for her nice item of clothing.

"Alright, you want to play nasty huh Lauri." I said jokingly. "Well I'm going to kick your butt here at poker, no more nice guy."

"Oh, really, Samantha. You think so huh? Well, we'll see about that now won't we. Let's just see who's the one still dressed at the end of the night shall we." She just looked at me raising her eyebrows at me with a smirky expression that made me want to just take her right there. It was turning out to be a playful evening I would say anyway.

I saw Lauri finish off her drink and asked me if I wanted another. I was still working on the same one so I had said no, so she went into the kitchen and poured herself another and came and sat back down.

So we played another hand, but this time I won. "I think a full house will do it." I said smiling at Lauri. "So who's winning now?" I said mockingly.

Lauri gave me a snarl. "Okay, so what's next Samantha, give it to me." Lauri picked up her drink and took a few more sips while awaiting my next move.

"Well since we seem to be on the clothing topic I think I would definitely like to remain in that category for a bit anyway, so now how about your underwear this time, though you can still wear your shorts if you want." I said seductively and smiled at her.

"Your so cruel Samantha," Lauri said all the while smiling at me.

"Come on, give it up."

Lauri turned around and went behind the couch so I couldn't see her. She came back around holding her underwear in her hands and threw them at me. I started to laugh at her pouty expression as she sat back down and drank some more of her drink. I was wondering how much she was going to drink considering she did have to go into work the next day, but I wasnt complaining, if she wanted to drink, than that was fine with me.

I noticed a little wet spot in her underwear, and smiled to myself. I wonder where that came from I thought. I found my thoughts wandering to images of me tasting her wetness between her legs, and found myself getting all wet in thought. My center was definitely getting a bit warmer now and the vodka wasn't helping either, the combination of the two was making me pretty horny, especially seeing Lauri sitting over there so sexy and beautiful.

"Come on Samantha, what are you waiting for?"

"What...what did you say Lauri?"

"I said your move. Do you need any more cards?"

"Oh," I looked down at the cards before me and hadn't realized we had started another hand. I guess my thoughts were elsewhere. "Okay, yep give me one...no, give me three more cards...okay, your turn, what do you have?"

"A flush"

"Damn!" I yelled out as I threw my cards down feigning that I had lost. "So I guess four of a kind doesn't beat that, does it?" I said laughing.

Lauri looked at me all pissed. "Okay, Samantha, this is the last time I'm letting you win, so give me your best shot then?"

"Oh really, okay, well this time I want you to remove your shirt"

There was a few seconds of silence and I was going to back down and tell Lauri that it was alright that she didn't have to do it, but she got up and right in front of me she lifted her shirt off so slowly and seductively exposing her breasts to me.

I just about gasped in shock. She was so beautiful, I hadn't imagined how beautiful she was underneath that clothing. I couldn't stop staring, I was just too much in awe of her beauty, and so turned on in the process that by this time my underwear was soaked. I didn't dare to think if she won and then got my underwear looking all wet like this. I think I would be a bit embarrassed to tell you the truth.

Lauri smiled at me and sat back down. I couldn't stop staring. We played another hand. I couldn't pay attention to the game anymore, not with her sitting across from me so beautiful like that. I couldn't believe how at ease she was, well maybe it was the alcohol that was making her feel that way. I wasn't paying attention and lost that hand.

"Finally," Lauri sighed. "Payback time Samantha," She said smiling at me. I suddenly got a bit nervous. "Okay, hand me over your underwear Samantha, but you can keep your shorts on as well though."

I pulled myself up and grabbed my crutches and did as Lauri had done earlier. I walked around the couch and slipped off my underwear and pulled my shorts back up. I looked at my underwear, and they were soaked through. Oh shit, I thought. I nervously walked back. "Well, Samantha where is it?"

I took a gulp of air and slowly brought forth my underwear into view. "There you go," I said and sat back down hiding the underwear behind my back.

"I don't think so, Samantha, hand them over." "You really don't want them do you?"

"You betcha I do, give them to me" She said leaning over playfully and snatching them from behind my back. Her breasts dangling right in front of my face as she did that. Lauri looked at me staring at her breasts and she quickly stole a quick kiss from me and sat back down before I even had a chance to respond to her kiss.

She was being such a tease tonight, and definitely not her usual self being so openly seductive with me and sexy and all of that. It must be the alcohol, since she was already on her third drink or was it more now, I had stopped counting after she took her shirt off. My mind had been elsewhere the rest of the night after that, and it definitely wasn't on the game anymore.

I pouted a bit as she sat back and viewed my underwear. I held my breath waiting for her response. But she didnt make any comment. She stared at my underwear for a bit, and I saw her run her fingers over the wet spot and then put them down behind her not saying a word to me. I was wondering how her shorts were at this time, whether she had any wet spots in there.

I was so out of it by that time that I couldn't get my focus back to winning at the game anymore. We started another hand, at this point I was ready for quits but I figured a few more hands and then maybe we would quit cause I was getting a bit nervous and uncomfortable now. Sure I wanted to be with her, but I didn't want her drunk though, and I wanted to know it was her and not the alcohol making her act this way.

I was getting a bit flustered. I lost the next hand. "You know Lauri, maybe we should play it quits for tonight."

"No, you don't Samantha. Your not getting out of it that easily. I won this hand so we have to play it out. Only fair you know."

I gave her a smirk, "Okay...okay, what do I have to do now?"

"Getting a bit frustrated Samantha...oh poor baby. Your not winning anymore and your not having fun now huh?" She said jokingly. "Okay, this time Samantha it's your turn to take your top off."




My Secret Love Ch. 05



Oh God, I thought to myself. I wasn't sure I could do it, but Lauri was egging me on and she had did it when I told her too, so I figured that it was only fair. I reached for my drink and shot the rest of it down and sucked in a gulp of air and nervously pulled my shirt off. I pulled my shirt over my breasts hiding them. At that moment Lauri reached over and snatched it out of my hand exposing my breasts to her. I felt so inadequate to her. She was bigger and so beautiful, and I felt so small.

But Lauri didn't say a word. She sat back staring at me as well in shock, awe..I wasn't sure. I hung my head a little.

Lauri spoke up. "Samantha, your beautiful. Look at me Samantha, please." I looked up at her slowly. She moved closer to me and reached up and cupped my face, "I hope you know how beautiful you are Samantha, you take my breath away." And with that she leaned closer to me and pressed her lips into mine.

I pressed myself into her even more as our kiss grew deeper. I felt my passion building up within me. I felt her tongue enter my mouth as our bodies became on fire. Her hands pulled me into her even more forcing my tongue to go harder and deeper as our passion took control. Her hands held my face as she kissed me so deeply, searching and probing her tongue deeper and further into my mouth driving my body so on fire for her. I felt my wetness between my legs increasing as our built up passion from the past month or so was finally released between us. We had waited so long for this moment that it was hard to have any control over our situation.

I felt her breasts pressed into mine and my nipples hardened at contact. I couldn't help but reach my hand up and squeeze her breast. I grabbed a handful of her breast and squeezed harder as our kiss grew harder. Our moans and grunts were all that were heard as we hardly gave each other time to get a breath between our kisses. For the first time I felt her hand around my breast squeezing and pulling on my nipple. She moaned even more as she felt my breast in her hand.

We laid back on the couch continuing to kiss as our bodies pressed into each other. Lauri was careful not to put her whole weight on me and was careful since I wasn't totally recovered yet, but at this point I didn't care if I was in pain, I just wanted her body pressed into me and her close to me. I didn't want her to stop. I encouraged her to continue and not to worry. She had pulled back and asked if I was fine, and I just pulled her into me even more as I kissed her again. My center was so hot and wet at this point that my shorts felt soaked completely through. As we continued to kiss I pushed my hips up into her, pressing my center into hers as I felt her grind her hips into mine as well. We both moaned into our kiss as we felt our center pressed into each other.

She moved down my body to my breasts. I felt her tongue licking and sucking at my nipple as her hand squeezed and caressed at my breast pulling my nipple deeper into her mouth. I arched my back up, pressing my breasts into her more and I gasped each time she sucked harder pulling me into her even more. She pulled up and kissed me deeply again. I reached my hand down and slipped my fingers into her shorts. I heard her gasp and let out a moan as she felt my fingers enter her. She was so wet and so hot that it turned me on so much. She arched her back, and pushed up on her arms as I began to thrust deeper into her. She thrust her hips in rhythm as my fingers entered her. I let my fingers stroke her clit, each time hearing her moan even louder. I felt her nearing climax, and wanted to go down on her and taste her so bad, to taste her wonderful cum. Then suddenly with no warning she pulled away and pushed my hand out of her.

"What's wrong, why did you stop?" I said all flustered from the heat of the moment and concerned that maybe I had done something wrong or that I had hurt her.

Lauri got up found her shirt and put it on and zipped up her shorts. "I'm sorry Samantha, I can't do this. It's not right. I'm so sorry for getting you all worked up like this. But I just can't do this."

I was totally shocked. Did I miss something here, wasn't it her the one who started this dare game and started to seduce me?

"What the hell is wrong, why can't you do this? Did I do something wrong? Weren't you the one who started this? And wasn't it you who kissed me last night and told me you loved me, and now again this tonight?"

"It's not you Samantha. Oh God, don't think that. Your so beautiful and so attractive, and I do want to be with you so bad, but I can't. I am attracted to you, but I can't do this to my husband. I'm sorry. I feel like I would be cheating on him, and despite him and I being separated and me being hurt by him, I still can't do it. I do love you Samantha, please do know that but this just confuses me too much right now and I just can't do this, I'm sorry."

I sat there in total shock. I was at a loss for words. I wanted to lash out at her for doing this to me, getting me to feel so much for her to only pull away again.

"Can you hand me my shirt please" I said rather cooly to her.

I put my shirt on and stood up and redid my pants and grabbed the crutches as the silence and tension built up between us.

I looked back at Lauri as I headed up the stairs.

"I guess I'm the one who is confused Lauri. One minute you kiss me and then push me away like you did before the accident, and then after all that we have gone through you finally are honest with me about your feelings and that day. You kiss me again and tell me you love me, and then tonight, leading me to believe that you want this and then, this happens? You run hot and cold Lauri, and I can't be put through this again. I love you too much to be pulled around and to be hurt like this. I can't go on either like this. I should have never come here Lauri to stay with you, but I'm here now, so as soon as I'm well enough I'll be out of your hands. I'm sorry for ever putting you in this position, I guess I should have never expected anything of you since you do love your husband and are trying to work things out with him, and I'm sorry for that." I said saddly, and with that I turned my back and went up the stairs.

I entered the room and slowly changed clothes. I was exhausted emotionally and didn't know how I was going to stay on much longer with things like this. I just wanted to get out of her house as soon as possible, forget about my earlier seducing thoughts, it was over with, and I wasn't about to force or push anything on her anymore. I'm just so tired of these emotional games with her, and how it affects me. She has this hold or pull over me that I can't seem to break free off. It almost destroyed me a few weeks ago with the accident and I can't allow myself to let it do that to me again. As much as I love her and want to be a part of her life, I just can't be on her rollercoaster anymore. My thoughts were drowning me. I sat on the edge of the bed feeling that my heart had been destroyed once again by this woman as I felt the old so familiar tears run down my face. I took a deep inhale after a few minutes and climbed in under the covers and shut the lights off.

Lauri stayed down stairs after she saw Samantha go up the stairs. She wanted to say she was sorry, that she didn't know what to do, that she was scared but the words just wouldn't come out right. "Why do you always fuck things up Lauri?" she screamed at herself as she flung her glass against the wall. Broken glass shattered everywhere, but Lauri didn't care. She had hurt the best thing ever to have come into her life, and for the life of her she couldn't let her know that or let herself allow to feel anything for this girl. Why was she so scared to feel anything for Samantha? Why was she afraid to love her? Her own fears was destroying them both.

Samantha woke up with a jolt as she heard something shatter down stairs. She wanted to call out to see if Lauri was okay but she really at that point wasn't in the mood to really bother, so she just laid their in her somber thoughts again.

She heard Lauri come up soon after. Samantha's back was turned and the lights were off so Lauri didn't know that she was still awake or not. Samantha heard Lauri crying near the edge of the bed. She wanted to reach out to her but knew that she couldn't. "Samantha are you still awake?" Lauri called out to her.

"yes, Lauri I am"

"Can we talk?"

"Lauri at this point what is really left to talk about, haven't we've talked enough already anyway. It seems that is all that we do is talk...talk about why this or that. I can't talk anymore Lauri. I'm too tired...I'm too tired emotionally with all of this."

Lauri was quiet for awhile not sure of what to say. She changed clothes and got under the covers and rolled over nearer to Samantha to talk to her.

"Samantha, can you turn towards me please?"

Samantha rolled over and looked at Lauri in the dim light. "Samantha, there is no excuse for what I did down stairs or the way I have treated you the past few weeks with my fickleness going back and forth with my behavior towards you and my emotions. But I do want you to know one thing, everything I have said to you is the truth. When I told you the other night that I love you and when we kissed that all meant so much to me,and tonight did as well. I can't explain it to you, why I'm so scared to go any further with you or why I'm having such a hard time resolving this, when I don't know myself. But I am sorry for everything, for hurting you and for putting you through so much. I wish so much this was easier for me. I want to love you and make love to you but I don't know how to get beyond my fears, I don't know what I want. And...I just..I.."

Lauri began to cry and couldn't continue on. She didn't know whatelse to say to Samantha, or how she could ever make it up to her. I didn't know how to respond to her crying. I was upset with her and angry with her, but no matter what I couldn't stay that angry despite everything that had happened I still loved her, so I reached up and wiped away her tears and hugged her.

I pulled her into me and just held her and comforted her. I didn't know how I was going to handle this damn situation with her and her husband, but I guess I was in over my head now. She was so confused with everything that she didn't know what she wanted, and unfortunately I was the one stuck in the middle, the one getting pushed and pulled around and hurt in this. But for the life of me I kept getting sucked back in. I couldn't turn my back on her no matter how hard I had wanted to, nor how much she had hurt me I would still be there for her through all of this whether that would be only in friendship or not.

At this point I just had hoped to get through the next few weeks with some sanity left within me. I held Lauri close to me that night as we both drifted off to sleep in each other's arms as I tried to hang onto what was left of my sanity that night as well and just wished for a better tomorrow.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 06



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

I heard the alarm at 5am that morning, moaned slightly to myself from the interruption of my sleep. A slight hangover from the alcohol the previous night ripped through my head. I rolled over placing the pillow over my head as I heard Lauri ruffling around the room getting her things ready for her day back at work.

I again moaned and moved the pillow back under my head. It was way too early in the morning for this, especially after the events of the night before with Lauri and I, and the alcohol that had been consumed. I wasn't use to drinking much to begin with, and being in recovery from my injuries didn't help much and I guess it didn't take much for the alcohol to have it's affects on my body. I peeled open my eyes and looked at Lauri as she got dressed and ready.

"How are you feeling this morning Lauri?" I said with a croak in my voice. I cleared my throat a little.

"Actually not too bad Samantha. The question is.." She said as she looked over at me while dressing, "..how are you feeling Samantha?"

"I have a little hang over, and besides the fact that it's 5am in the morning, I guess I'm fine." I said smiling.

"Are you going to be okay today while I'm at work Samantha?"

"Yeah, I should be fine. Don't worry about me. Give me a couple more hours of sleep and I'll be okay."

"Well I'll come home at noon to get lunch for the both of us, and if you need help with anything, just call over to the clinic and I'll come right back if there is a problem."

"I'm sure things will be fine Lauri. I'm moving around alot better now, and before long I'll be out of your hands."

Lauri just gave me a look with that remark. "Samantha, listen, about last night...I wanted to.."

"Lauri, please, what was said was said. There's no need to explain anything more on it. And right now I'm a bit too tired and hung over to really think too clearly anyway. So anyway how bout we just focus on me recovering and I'll be out of your hands before long and you can focus on reconciliating with your husband."

"Samantha..." Lauri paused and was about to say something and decided against it. Lauri finished getting ready and turned to leave the room, than turned back looking over at Samantha.

"Samantha, I'm going down for some coffee, do you want me to bring you up any before I leave for work? I'll leave some muffins down stairs on the counter for you as well."

"No, that's alright. Thanks though. I just want to sleep a little right now. You have a good day at work and I'll see you at lunch then." I rolled over turning my back to Lauri after I said that.

Lauri looked back at me before going down the stairs. "Okay, Samantha, you have a good day as well and I'll see you later."

"Bye" I said muffled as I pressed my face into the pillow holding in my tears. I didn't know how to be so polite and civil especially after the previous night. I still was a little hurt and angered over all that had happened. And a little sad over realizing that Lauri and I would never be.

After last night just made me realize that Lauri belonged with her husband. I know she cared for me but she was too confused and I just couldn't be on this roller coaster of hers anymore. I would be there for her as a friend, but I knew I had to be careful with my own feelings for her and not cross that line again. I don't deny that I love her, cause I do, but things are just too complicated and too emotionally risky on both our parts to let this continue on beyond friendship. It just can never be, I thought to myself.

I laid there in my thoughts that morning going back and forth with things in my mind as I drifted off and on again as sleep over took me. Thoughts of my recovery I hoped would be quick so I could be out of there as soon as I could. I just didn't know how much longer I could maintain this false front of just being friends with her before my feelings would betray me again.

I barely remember hearing Lauri leave the house as I drifted to and from sleep. I looked at the clock, it was almost noon. "shit" I said to myself as I scrambled out of bed and got dressed and ready before Lauri got back. I made my way quickly to the bathroom and washed myself up as good as I could in the sink since I still wasn't able to have a shower yet because of my cast. Soon after, I heard someone come in the front door.

"Samantha, you up?" Lauri yelled up the stairs.

I came around the corner and walked slowly down the stairs with one of my crutches. I had been getting pretty good at walking now with just one of them. It wouldn't be long now before I could go in for my check up.

"Hi, Lauri. Yep, I'm up. But just barely. I overslept a bit. I guess with some of the alcohol consumed last night affected me more than I had realized." I said coming down the stairs. "Actually I'm surprised your feeling okay since you drank more than me last night."

Lauri smiled at me as she helped me over to the couch. "Well I had a little of a headache this morning but other than being a little tired myself, I feel pretty good."

"So Lauri, how did clinic go today? I bet it feels a bit weird getting back into the work scene again having the past week or so off."

"It went real well so far this morning Samantha, though I do have to head back there in an hour. So how have you been doing? Will you be okay here again this afternoon by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine Lauri. I hope you know how much I do appreciate you helping me these past few weeks, not only at the hospital but the last few days here and all. I don't know how I could have ever done any of it by myself."

"Well, I'm more than happy to have helped Samantha. Besides, it has given me a chance to get to know you better and to have found a wonderful friend in you."

"Friend?", I thought to myself. "It seems that you are forgetting a few minor things Lauri that has happened." I shook those thoughts from my mind. "Yes, Lauri, you are a good friend." I turned smiling at her as I squeezed her hand for emphasis.

Lauri cleared her throat and pulled her hand away a little nervous. "So Samantha, what do you feel like for lunch?"

"Well since you have to get back to work soon, don't worry about anything really, okay?"

Lauri walked over to the phone and started to dial a number. "What type of pizza do you like?" She said as she looked over at Samantha.

"Any kind Lauri, whatever you like will be fine with me."

So Lauri ordered a pizza, and came back to the couch as we chatted on general things of the day while we waited for the pizza to arrive. We definitely avoided any subject on the previous nights events. But I was glad for that. I guess she wants to be friends, I thought to myself, and maybe it's best that way anyway.

The pizza had arrived and we ate quickly as Lauri had to get back to work. After eating Lauri cleared the table of our pizza mess, and came back to the couch.

"Well I better get back to the clinic, are you sure you'll be okay here for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Lauri, it's only for a few more hours and believe me I think I can manage." I said smiling. "Besides I'm feeling so much better lately that I'll be out of your hands in no time at all."

"Well okay Samantha, but call me if there is any problems. I took out a roast for dinner tonight to thaw out for us, that is, if that's alright with you?"

"Lauri, that's fine. I wish you didn't feel the need to cook and do so much for me. One of these days I'll have to cook for you."

"It's really not a bother Samantha. In fact I have really liked having you around to do things for. I think I'll miss you when you leave. I'm getting use to having you around, you know."

I smiled at her. "That's really nice to say Lauri. I think I'll miss being here as well, but I suppose we have our life's to get back to here eventually and you to yours and your family as well."

I paused and cleared my throat. It was getting a bit too stuffy and too close for comfort there that I had to end that conversation quickly before I ended opening up too much of my feelings again. I moved away slightly but Lauri moved a little closer and leaned in closer to me and held my hand.

"Samantha," Lauri paused a little and reached her hand up and caressed my face. She looked so lovingly into my eyes that it pierced my heart and my soul. "I hope you know how much I care about you and have grown to love about you." Lauri leaned closer and kissed me slightly on my lips.

I grew very nervous and red flags immediately went up in me. This is not going to happen to me again, I had thought. I can't get hurt again. I pulled away abruptly from her gentle kiss.

"Umm...Lauri," I gathered my bearings for a second there from what had just happened. "so umm..well I suppose you better get to work before your late." I said smiling, acting as nothing had just happened though my actions were very jittery and nervous.

Lauri seemed a little hurt by my pulling away but slowly got up to leave. "Your right, I better get moving here, I don't want to be late as you said." Lauri seemed a little lost for words and felt a little awkward. "Well, I'll umm see you in a few hours then."

Lauri grabbed her purse and headed out the door. I sat there and said goodbye, as she finally left I took a deep inhale like I had been holding my breath the entire time in fear of what she would say or do, but she didn't say anything and left. Well that went smoothly, didn't it Samantha. I shook my head in unbelief. What the hell is she thinking? After all the shit that has gone on with her and I with this, I mean, what is she thinking?

Just then the phone rang. I didn't know whether to answer it or not, so I let Lauri's machine answer.

"Hi, this is Dr. Sou calling for a Samantha Pearson, if you can have her call me back.."

I got up quickly and hurried over to the phone as quickly as I could before he hung up. I answered the phone out of breath.

"Hi, Dr. Sou. This is Samantha speaking."

"Hi, Samantha. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing really well Dr. Sou. In fact, I was thinking about calling you this week to ask when I could set up an appointment."

"Well, whenever you feel up to it, come in, and we'll check your cast out and see how that has healed up enough to have it removed or not. What about your ribs, and the stiches, how are you feeling with that?"

"Actually, my ribs feel really good. A little tightness still, but other than that I hardly notice any discomfort. My stiches look great, and almost dissolved, and my bruises are hardly evident anymore, I'm glad to say."

"Well that is great news Samantha. Well if you feel up to it how bout we schedule you an appointment the beginning of next week sometime."

"Okay, that sounds good to me. Do you have an opening on monday?"

"Yes, early that morning around 10am. Is that good for you?"

"That's great Dr. Sou. Okay. I'll see you then. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Samatha." Dr. Sou said as I hung the receiver up.

I smiled to myself. Finally I can get this damn cast off and have a real bath. Oh..my car. I'll need some transportation. I walked back over to the phone. My brother John had my car sitting at the auto shop all this time and I had totally forgot to call them when I first got out of the hospital to ask about the car. I picked the receiver up after searching the phone book for the number.

"Hi, this is Samantha Pearson calling. A John Pearson had you guys fix up my car about a month ago I would say, actually longer than that, but anyway I was calling about my car and when it will be ready to have picked up."

"Um...let's see here. Okay, I see your name in our book here. Yep, John Pearson had your car towed here couple of months ago. Its been repaired and sitting on our lot now the past few weeks ready to go. So whenever your ready for it, just stop on by and we have the keys for you."

"Would monday afternoon be okay."

"Yeah, that will be fine."

"What about charges?"

"They've all been taken care of by John. So there's no extra costs."

"Okay, thank you. I'll come by on monday. "

I hung up the phone. Wow, John sure takes care of me, I'll have to make sure to thank him next time I call him. Well the car is taken care of, my doctor's appointment taken care of, now only if the rest of my life(personal life) would go as smoothly.

I wasn't sure if I would tell Lauri just yet about my doctor's visit. So I'll just wait on that. The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. I basically relaxed in front of the tv but soon got bored. Well maybe I can get started on some supper for Lauri and me, I thought to myself.

I went to the refridgerator and found some corn, carrots, and beans and pulled them out of the freezer and fridge. I found the potatoes and peeled a couple of them. While doing that I had the roast broiling a little first in the oven sauteed with some onions before baking it. I spent the rest of the afteroon preparing dinner. I found some flour and started on my homemade gravy. It was almost 430pm so Lauri would be home soon, so I put in the vegetables and basted them with the roast. I poured a little of the roast's juices into my gravy to give it that extra flavor.

Earlier I had found a cake mix and made a cake and icing. I dipped my finger into the icing...hmmm...that is going to be good. Well it all was done, just needed another hour and it would be done. I rushed into the bathroom and cleaned myself up a little and changed clothes before Lauri would get home. I went back to the couch and relaxed for a few minutes before I had heard Lauri coming in the front door.

The smell of the roast filled the whole house for as soon as Lauri walked in she made a comment at house great it smelled.

"Mmmm...Samantha, what have you done? That smells wonderful. You shouldn't have. Your not hundred percent yet, and you should have let me cook for you. But I must say the roast smells great."

Lauri walked in and put her things down and walked over and sat down next to me. "So is there anything left I can do to help with dinner, or have you done it all already?" Lauri said smiling.

"Nope, its all done, about an hour and it will be ready. So you just go get changed and relax before dinner."

"Samantha you shouldn't have. Here I am the one who is suppose to be taking care of you."

"Well I wanted to. You've been taking care of me and have been there for me the past few weeks so I wanted to do something for you. Besides I was bored with the tv and wanted to keep busy, and it helped to keep me busy with that."

"Well thank you Samantha for doing this. It's actually nice to come home to a cooked meal. I'm so use to being the one to cook all the time."

I smiled at Lauri and grabbed her hand. "Well, as long as I am staying here and am able enough, you don't have to be the one to cook all the time. Besides I like to cook when I can. I hope you like my cooking anyway, maybe after you taste it you won't want me to be the cook anymore." I said jokingly.

"I'm sure it will be great Samatha. If it tastes anything like it smells then I'm sure it will be fine."

"Well why don't you go get changed and dinner should be ready then soon."

"Okay, I'll be right back. You relax now Samantha and let me take care of the rest. I'll get the table set and all, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good to me."

"I'll be right back." Lauri said as she went up the stairs to change.

Lauri came down a few moments later in sweats and a t-shirt but looked really nice and casual at the same time. It was nearing 530pm and the dinner was ready. Lauri and I had been talking about how work and clinic had gone that day for her when the oven's buzzer went off.

Lauri got the roast out and placed it on the dinner table along with the rest of the food, and gravy as we both sat down and dished up our plates.

We both began digging in. "Mmmm...this is wonderful Samantha, how come you never told me you were such a great cook? And this gravy is really great. Did you make this yourself?"

"Yep, everything is made from scratch, even my homemade gravy."

"Well your going to have to give me your recipe." Lauri said as she continued to eat.

We both polished off our plates along with seconds.

"Well I am totally satisfied." Lauri said.

"Well we're not done yet."

"What do you mean we're not done yet?"

"Look over there behind the counter there. I cooked us a cake for dessert." "Oh Samantha, you shouldn't have. You know your very bad for my diet here." She said smiling.

Lauri brought the cake over to the table. "I'm not sure if I can fit anything more in this stomach of mine, but that cake looks so good that I'll have to try a small piece of it."

Lauri cut a small piece for the both of us and handed me a slice of cake. We both finished off our slices and decided to retire to the couch to relax after that huge meal. Lauri cleared the table and then joined me on the couch.

"Thank you Samantha for that lovely meal. That was really nice of you to do that. And you can cook for me anytime." She said smiling at me.

"I'm glad you liked it Lauri. I enjoyed cooking dinner for you."

"Well I enjoyed it too, but don't be burning yourself out here, remember your still recovering here."

"Don't worry so much Lauri. My body is healing up very nicely, and see here." I pointed to my stiches and bruises on my abdomen. "See there, the bruises are hardly evident anymore."

"Yeah, I guess they are Samantha." Lauri said softly.

Lauri sat there in her thoughts. Soon Samantha would be healed up and out of there. She didn't know what to feel about that. She thought she should feel glad, that way she could get back to her life with her kids and trying to reconcile with her husband, but on the other hand she felt a twinge of pain and heart palpations thinking of Samantha leaving.

"Lauri...Lauri" I said a few more times.

Lauri had drifted off in her thoughts and hadn't heard me call her the first time. "Hmm...what were you saying Samantha." Lauri turned to face me on the couch. "I'm sorry I guess I was in my thoughts there."

"I was just asking if you wanted to put a movie in. Lauri are you okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine Samantha. Just been a long day and tired a bit I guess. And with that great dinner of yours has totally relaxed me. Anyway, a movie would be great. Any particular one you want to put in. Not like I have a million to choose from." Lauri said jokingly pointing to the few hundred she had displayed in her entertainment center.

"How bout that one." I pointed to the movie called "Up close and Personal"

"Umm...sure Samantha that one would be fine." Lauri thought to herself, yeah that's what we need a romantic movie. Lauri put the movie into the vcr and leaned back on the couch.

We turned all the lights off, and both relaxed into the couch as the movie started. It was dark outside by now so the only light illuminating the room was the tv screen. Lauri had a big screen tv, that combined with the stereo sound and lights off would have made it to be a wonderful romantic evening if it wasn't for us only being friends that is.

Half way through the movie I felt my eyes fighting to stay open as I found myself so dangerously close to Lauri leaning into her. I snapped myself awake and straightened up again.

"Samantha you can lean into me if you want, if it would be more comfortable for you. Here, rest your head on my shoulder."

I wasn't going to argue with her, with the lights off and the effects of the room had on me made me want to relax into her, so I decided for tonight I would put my guard down, and I moved a little closer and adjusted myself leaning into her shoulder. I rested my head into her chest as I felt her arms casually wrap around me, holding me closer to her. I must admit it felt really comforting and nice to feel her close to me like that.




My Secret Love Ch. 06



We both adjusted our bodies closer and into each other in silence as not to ruin this moment between us, and then we watched the rest of the movie cuddled in each other's arms. I soon found sleep upon me as we both drifted off to sleep on the couch.

I don't know how much time had gone by, but I felt Lauri move a little.

"Samantha, Samantha." I heard Lauri whisper in my ear. "Come on sweetie I think we should go up stairs."

"Hmmm...what did you say Lauri?" I said groggily.

"Samantha," Lauri said softly into my ears. "It's almost 1am, we both must of fallen asleep down here. How bout we head up, since I need to be up early for work. Here, let me help you up."

Lauri got up and help pulled me up from the couch. I grabbed my crutch and we both slowly made our way up the stairs half asleep. We both climbed into bed in silence, and made our way into each other's arms as we both fell off to sleep.

Next thing I remember was that damn alarm going off at 5am again. "Damn that alarm!" I yelled out as I put the pillow over my head to muffle out the sound.

I heard Lauri laugh in the background as I said that.

"You know Lauri, why do you have to get up so damn early for work when clinic doesn't even start till 9am?"

"Ah...but your forgetting Samantha I'm a teacher, we have other jobs as well to do, we have to be there way before the students do to get everything ready and so much more."

"Yeah, I know Lauri. I'm just being a pill here. As you can tell I'm definitely not a morning person." I said light heartedly. "That's alright Samantha, if I didn't have to be up so early for work I would be sleeping in as well with you." She said smiling.

"How are you feeling Lauri, are you tired since we didn't come up till late last night."

"No, actually I feel okay. Here why don't you sleep in and I'll leave a hot fresh pot of coffee on for you when you come on down later. I'll set the timer on it. Well I better go get moving here and finish getting ready. You have a nice morning Samantha and I'll see you at lunch...okay?" Lauri leaned over the bed and quickly kissed me on the cheek.

"Okay, Lauri. I'll see you later. Have a good day." I heard Lauri walk out of the room as I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.

After a few hours I was up and getting ready. I made my way down the stairs and had a cup of coffee. I wasn't sure when I would tell Lauri I was leaving, and that I had the doctor's appointment on monday. I was pretty much able to take care of myself now, so I knew it was time for me to move out, but I was afraid to leave. I would miss her greatly. I knew that once I would tell her about my doctors appointment on monday that I would have to soon leave cause there would be no more excuses for me to stay on any longer.

It saddened me that I would have to go. Maybe it would be best for me to tell her on monday, that way I won't ruin the time we have now together. It had been so nice cuddling with her the night before, and I just wanted a little more time with her.

Lunch had come and gone. Lauri had come home and we ate some lunch and talked general things about the day. I cooked dinner for her all week. The week went pretty smoothly. Our normal routine of her coming home for lunch, and after supper we would both retire to the couch and watch a movie cuddled into each other. A couple of times we even played a hand or two at cards, but this time the truth and dare game was definitely left out. This time I made sure both our clothes stayed on.

The week had gone by so quickly and we had grown close again and enjoying each other's company and time spent together. She had touched my heart in a way that no one had done before. She truly had become a very close and dear friend to me, and it saddened me that we couldn't have more than that. I never let it go beyond cuddling with her and I, even though at times I felt Lauri wanted to kiss me and she would lean into me to kiss me but I would pull away or turn my face from her.

She never got upset or asked me why, and with me leaving on the monday I just didn't want to go through the emotional hurt of loving her and then having to leave so I pushed her away and held my emotional walls up, and would only allow it to go no further than the cuddling. I wanted more with her, but I knew it would never be, so I had to keep my own feelings in check. I knew she was still in love with her husband and was confused with this situation with her and I, and her feelings for me, so I couldn't let myself get on that roller coaster again with her, though it was such a struggle for me every day to maintain that front of pushing her away and not wanting her. I wanted to reach out to her and to love her, but I just knew I couldn't.

We spent a wonderful weekend together, playing around with each other, joking, and just really enjoying ourselves. Lauri cooked some meals, and I cooked my homemade chilli for her over the weekend. We ordered take out as well,and just enjoyed each other's company over the weekend. But the ominous monday was soon approaching and my nerves started to act up.

Sunday evening found us both on the couch again relaxing with each other, but tonight I was quiet in my thoughts about how tomorrow would go.

"Samantha, your awlfully quiet over there. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Lauri. I was just thinking how great of a week it has been with you, and I'm just going to miss that I guess when I leave, so I guess that is on my mind a bit."

"Oh, I see." Lauri said quietly. "She still wants to leave," Lauri thought to herself saddly. Well I guess I haven't given her any indication that I want her here longer but how can I tell her that I want more with her. I guess I don't blame her for pulling away the past few times when I have tried to get close to her, considering what I did to her the last time. She's probably scared and confused about how I will react again, and then of course my husband. Damn, I wish I knew myself how I could straighten all of this out, but I do know onething, is that I love her and don't want to lose her. I should tell her this, but after what happened the last time, I'm sure she would be skeptical of my feelings for her, and I don't blame her for feeling that way. I just don't know what to say to her." Lauri sat there in her thoughts as well.

We both sat on the couch in silence in our own thoughts. I didn't know how to tell her about tomorrow so I will tell her then. I just want to enjoy this last night with her. I snapped out of my thoughts and leaned into Lauri a little more. She looked down at me and gave me a soft smile and pulled me into her more wrapping her arms around me. We cuddled in each others arms the rest of the evening quietly enjoying our time together. My heart so heavy and so sad as I knew this would be the last night I would feel her in my arms. I loved her so, if only she felt the same way, if only she would tell me to stay with her. Well if only a lot of things were different, but unfortunately they were not.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 07



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

The ritual of the 5am alarm awoke us both. I slightly grumbled knowing what the day would bring. Lauri got up and told me to go back to sleep but this morning I laid there watching her get ready as to imprint this last image of her in my memory.

Lauri looked over at me and smiled. "Why aren't you going back to sleep Samantha? It's early yet."

"I'm just admiring the view," I said jokingly.

"Well go back to sleep, and I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"Okay, Lauri. I'll see you later."

I didn't know whether I would make it back before lunch myself but I just led her to believe that this monday would be the same as any other day that her and I had spent previous with our usual routines, but today I knew would be different.

After Lauri left for work I got up and went into the bathroom to get ready for my appointment with Dr. Sou. I went downstairs and had a cup of coffee relaxing and trying to figure how I would tell Lauri. Maybe over lunch today I will tell her, I thought to myself.

I called myself a cab and waited for it to arrive while I sipped at my coffee at the kitchen table. I started to write Lauri a note and decided against it. I heard a horn beeping in the background and looked out the window, the cab was parked in the driveway. I put my cup in the sink and headed out the door.

I climbed in the cab, the cab driver looked back at me. "Where your heading sweetheart?" He said all gruffly.

"To the hospital please" I said as I looked in the rearview mirror at the cab driver.

He pulled out of the driveway and we headed to the hospital which wasn't far of a drive at all. He pulled up to the front entrance. I handed him a $20 bill and thanked him as I climbed out of the cab with my crutches. Damn, I thought to myself, it sure is expensive to take a cab.

I walked to the front desk and checked in with the nurse for my appointment with Dr. Sou. I sat there in the waiting room trying to read, but my thoughts kept wandering to Lauri, and how I would miss her. "Oh Lauri, I wish so much things could have been different with us." I sat there in my heavy thoughts when I heard the nurse call my name.

"Samantha, Dr. Sou will see you now." the nurse said as she led me to the examination room.

I sat in the examination room as the nurse took my vitals, and wrote them down in my chart. She got up to leave the room, "Dr. Sou will be in a few moments Samantha, put this examination gown on." She handed me the gown. "You can leave your underwear and bra on though."

"Okay, thanks" I said to the nurse as she left.

After the nurse left I undressed and put my gown on. I sat there twiddling my thumbs a bit nervous as I waited for Dr. Sou to enter. A few moments went by before Dr. Sou. entered.

"Morning, Samantha," Dr. Sou said as he entered the room picking up my chart from outside the door. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm feeling fine Dr. Sou. I will be anxious to get this thing off." I said pointing to my cast.

"Well, we'll take a look at that then." He said smiling at me as he walked over to me and directed me to sit on the examination chair.

He helped me climb up and looked at my cast, and then directed me to lay back as he lifted the gown and examined my stomach where my stiches were and my ribs as well. He palpated the areas for any tenderness or softness and commented on how nicely I had recovered so quickly considering the injuries I had sustained with the accident.

"Your looking really good Samantha. You have recovered very nicely. I wouldn't say you are 100% yet but your getting there, so I still don't want you to be over doing too much though, but you probably can start to be a bit more active now and try to build some of your strength and muscles back up. As far as your cast, if you feel up to it we'll remove it today but I would like you to wear a knee brace to just support your leg a little why you regain strength back again. During the night you can take it off though. So how does that sound?"

"That sounds great Dr. Sou. It will be nice to finally have a shower." I said smiling.

"Well let's get this cast off then so you can get home and have that shower." He smiled and patted me on the arm as he called the nurse in for assistance.

The nurse entered and after a few minutes assisting the doctor my cast was removed. It felt refreshing finally to feel air to my leg. The nurse cleaned up my leg. The muscles did look a little weak from no use, but either way I was glad the cast was finally off. The doctor showed me how to put my leg brace on to help stabilize my leg. He told me that I no longer needed to wear any constriction around my ribs as they looked healed up enough.

"Samantha, well your set to go here. I'm really glad that everything turned out really well for you. Try to take it easy for a little while longer, but everything looks really good. You've done a great job in recovering and allowing your body to heal." Dr. Sou finished writing in my chart as he spoke to me.

"Thanks Dr. Sou for helping me here. I owe alot of my recovery to you as well...well actually I owe you my life." I said smiling. "But Lauri was so great to have let me stay at her place to heal. I think that really made such an significance to my recovery. Anyway, thanks for all your time and effort that you did for me."

"I'm just glad Samantha that things turned out the way they did. Goodluck with school. I hope all that works out for you."

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

Dr. Sou said goodbye and left the room as I changed back into my clothing. It felt weird not having the cast on anymore, but it felt good to have that freedom back. The leg brace helped a lot with stablizing my weight. I was a bit nervous at first to take my first step without the crutches but after a few steps my body adjusted to my weight and I was walking with no problems.

I left the examination room and checked out at the front desk and called for a taxi to take me to the auto shop. I waited by the front entrance as I saw the taxi pull up. I climbed in and we were off to get my car.

I felt great to finally have my freedom and independence back again, now only if Lauri could be a part of all of that with me I thought. The cab driver pulled up to the auto shop and I paid him and climbed out. I walked into the office of the shop and a man was standing there.

"Hi, my name is Samantha Pearson, I called someone last week about picking up my car today."

"Yes, Samantha. I have your paperwork right here. If you can sign the release forms and then I can get your car for you."

"Okay, thanks." I said as I grabbed a nearby pen and signed the papers.

"I'll be right back. I'll go get you your car, it's parked out back." the man said as he ran off somewhere.

I stood there waiting for him as I saw him a few moments later driving my car up front. I walked outside to meet him as he hopped out of my car and handed me my keys.

"Wow, finally have my car back, and it looks better I must say then it was before." I said laughing.

"Yes, your brother had us do a complete make over on it."

"Well, I think it looks great." I turned and looked at the guy. "So is there anything else I need to do, or sign, anything to pay?"

"Nope, everything is set for to go"

"Okay, thanks." I said as I climbed into the front seat. It felt great to finally be sitting in my car again. I rubbed my hands over the steering wheel, and smiled in amusement. I took a deep breath and started the car. "Well, here goes," I said to myself as I slowly pulled out of the parking lot of the auto shop. I felt a little nervous driving again but I wanted to take it very slow till I got use to being behind the wheel again. So where do I go, I thought...hmmm...there's one place I should go, I said to myself as I steered the car in the direction of the clinic.

It was almost noon so the clinic would be getting out for lunch soon. I was hoping I would catch Lauri before she headed home to an empty house. I pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, this time using the visitor's parking space. I didnt really consider myself a student there anymore and didn't feel I should park where the students do, so I headed around to the front entrance parking lot. Heck, it was shorter walking distance anyway for me and I didn't want to walk too far with just getting my cast off and getting use to bearing weight on my leg again.

I parked the car and nervously made my way to the front doors. I didn't know what I would say but I'm sure Lauri would be quite surprised to see me none the less. I took a deep inhale, hesistated for a few seconds and took the leap and walked through the doors.

I saw our secretary sitting up front and she was quite surprised to see me. I chatted with her for a few minutes, just telling her I wanted to stop by and see how everyone was. They didn't know I was staying at Lauri's, so I just made some story up. Just then Shirley walked around the corner and spotted me.

"Samantha, is that you!" she screamed and came at me and gave me a great big hug.

"Yes, Shirley it's me." I said laughing as I returned the hug.

Shirley looked me up and down and saw my leg brace and asked me a million questions and what I've been doing and how things were. I could hardly keep up with her in answering one question at a time. I told her a brief summary of my accident and recovery, though leaving out certain parts of where I recovered and who I was with.

"Wow, Samantha. I'm so sorry that this all happened. You know, I knew you were upset that day, and I shouldn't have let you drive off upset like that. I could just kick myself when I look back."

"Please, Shirley, don't think that way. You had nothing to do with this and believe me, neither you or I had any idea that this would happen. You know Shirley, I just think somethings are just meant to happen for a reason sometimes. Now why this happened to me, well I don't know that one yet." I laughed when I said that. "But anyway it happened, and I think I have learned something from all of this." I paused for a few minutes. "Anyway, I still get to graduate with the class, and then who knows? " I said shrugging my shoulders. "I'll figure something out and where I might finish my clinical requirements. So you see, everything always works out in some way or another." I said smiling.

"Well still I just wish I could have done something."

"Well, Shirley we all wish for a lot of things and wish we could change our past mistakes, but maybe in a way this whole ordeal taught me something about life, about me, and just how we really can't take anything for granted for we just don't know when it can be taken from us at any moment. In any event, I think I appreciate life and things so much more now, and I just hope I always remember how I got here."

"Wow, it seems like you have done some growing there as well Samantha. Well I'm just glad that your still here with us. I heard that it was touch and go at the beginning, and I'm so happy that things turned out this way," Shirley smiled and squeezed my hand. "And I'm so glad you'll be graduating with us in a few weeks!" Shirley squeeled.

"Wow, graduation. Scary thought!" I grimaced but then smiled at Shirley. We both cracked up and started to laugh out loud and hugged each other in excitement over graduation being so close and the excitement of me being back in the game again.

Shirley pulled away. "So Samantha, I'm heading to go to lunch in a few minutes, do you want to go grab some lunch with me?"

"Thanks for the offer Shirley, but I have plans to meet someone already for lunch. But thanks though. I hope you don't mind. Maybe we can meet up sometime before graduation."

"Yeah, that would be great Samantha. Well, you have a good lunch and give me a call when you want to meet up. I better get moving here cause I have to be back in an hour for clinic."

"Okay, Shirley. I'll talk to you soon."

Shirley rushed off to go to lunch. I remember that feeling of always having to rush home and eat lunch and be back to set up for clinic all within an hour. We didn't get much of a lunch break, and that is one thing I don't miss that much. But I am anxious to get back into it again. These past few months of recovery have made me itchy to be busy again, and to get back to school again. I never thought I would hear myself wanting to be back at school but I did miss it. Though spending time with Lauri through all of this made my time apart from school and my recovery go almost unnoticed. And it will be her that I will miss the most. But I guess I should have known it wouldn't have last, for all things end at some point, I'm sad to say.

I snapped out of my thoughts. I turned to the secretary and asked her if Lauri was around. She told me that Lauri was finishing up with a patient in the clinic still and that it would be alright for me to go back there. So I walked around the corridor and walked into the clinic area. Most of the clinic was deserted, only a few were left finishing up cleaning and heading off to lunch. I heard Lauri talking to one of the other instructors and said she was heading off to lunch. Some of the other students saw me and came up to me and started to chat. Lauri must of heard me talking with someone for the next thing I saw was her giving me a puzzled look of why and how I was there.

The other students said goodbye and told me how nice it was to see me again and that I was okay after the accident. Lauri waited for them to leave before she approached me. She stood there with her arms folded.

"So Samantha," she said looking me up and down, "So tell me, what is going on here?"

"Umm...hi Lauri," I said innocently enough.

"Don't hi me all innocently Samantha. I can see you got your cast off. Why didn't you tell me you were going to get that done today?"

I paused for a few seconds, "Um..well you see" I stopped myself and got my barings again. "Lauri, I wanted to tell you about today, but I didn't want to ruin our weekend together. Damn, this is not coming out the way I want it to." I pulled Lauri to the side and talked more quietly to her. "Lauri, Dr. Sou called me last week, and I made the appointment for today. I also went and got my car today."

Lauri interrupted me, "You drove here by yourself!"

"Lauri, please lower your voice. Yes, I drove here by myself, I'm quite capable of taking care of myself now and driving. Dr. Sou gave me the go ahead. But, anyway, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I thought it was best. We were having such a nice time these past few weeks and this weekend, I didn't want my impending leaving to ruin that."

"What?" Lauri said shocked. "What do you mean about leaving"

"Lauri, we both know I wouldn't be staying at your place forever, and that I would be leaving as soon as I was well enough, well the fact is, I'm well enough now to take care of myself. I didn't want to tell you last week cause I didn't want to ruin our time together. I knew with me getting my cast off and being almost completely healed now, that I couldn't keep staying at your house. Besides you have your own family and life to get straightened out, and I can't be there when that all takes place. Your kids will be back soon in a few weeks anyway, you said yourself, from their grandparent's place, so how would you explain them to me? You see, it was inevitable this day would come. And I guess it is now. I am sorry for not being up front and telling you." I lowered my head and softly spoke. "I guess I was afraid. I'll miss you and miss being around you"

Lauri didn't know quite what to say. She cleared her throat. "I understand Samantha why you didn't tell me, I really do. I wish you had of told me though cause I would have wanted to be with you when you went to the doctor. And despite you saying how well you are and capable are of driving, I can't say I feel really at ease with that. I just want you to still take it easy and not rush things."

"Lauri, I understand your concerns, but please, I really am able now. We can't keep making excuses for me to still be staying at your place. We both know it would never work." I said saddly.

Lauri turned away from Samantha trying to hold her tears back. She felt an overwhelming need to just grab Samantha and hold her and never let her go, to tell her that she loved her and didn't want her to leave. But her own fears held her back. Lauri got control of her thoughts and emotions and turned and looked at Samantha.

"Samantha, can we discuss this at home, please. Please can we go back to my place and talk there?"

"Okay Lauri, I'll meet you there."

"Will you be okay to drive Samantha?"

I turned and looked back at Lauri and gave her a look. "Okay, okay" Lauri said half smiling. "I'll see you there in a few minutes."

"Okay Lauri," I said as I walked out the front door to my car.

A few minutes later I was pulling into Lauri's driveway and she pulled up behind me. We both got out of our cars and walked to the front door. Lauri opened the door and we both entered and went into the living room. Lauri walked over to the couch and sat down.

I walked up to her and asked her what she wanted for lunch.

"Samantha, lunch is the furthest thing from my mind right now."

"Lauri, whatelse is there to say. We both know I can't keep staying here." I said all flustered.

I went and sat down on the couch with Lauri. Lauri turned and faced me.

"Samantha, I understand that. How bout you stay till the end of the week. I mean, there's no rush for you to leave just yet. I know your feeling better now, but I kind've like your company and besides my kids won't be back for a few weeks yet, so why don't you stay for another week." Lauri said all pleadingly.

"Well, I suppose another week wouldn't matter that much," I said feigning delight. Secretly I was pleased she wanted me to stay on, if even that was only for one more week.

"Great, Samantha. I'm glad. And you know what, how bout we celebrate tonight. Let me take you out to dinner to celebrate you getting your cast off and getting your car back again. I'm sure that feels great again I imagine having that all fixed up. Your brother John had told me he was getting it fixed for you."

"Yes, he had it more then fixed." I said smiling. "In fact, it looks better then it did before the accident. I'll have to thank him next time he calls. He sure takes care of me."

"Well, you are his baby sister you know," Lauri said smiling.

"Yes, I am, but I also am his only sister. I guess after our parents died when we were younger he became not only my big brother, but also like another parent to me. He was always there for me. Anyway, I don't know why I'm talking about the past." I shook my head. "Well, tonight huh?"

"Yes, how bout it? Let me take you out for dinner to celebrate, and I bet you can't wait to take a real shower?"

"Yeah, that is on my top list of things to do right now." I said laughing. " Well, dinner sounds nice Lauri. Okay, let's do that." I said excited. This would be our first time actually going out together, and I felt a little excited and nervous about it.

"Okay, Samantha, we'll have a fun time tonight. Let's get dressed up. We'll go somewhere special to celebrate."

"Sure Lauri, that sounds great. Well anyway how bout some lunch now though?" I said getting up walking into the kitchen.

"Alright, let's not eat too much though, I want us to save our appetite for tonight." Lauri said with a smirk on her face.

"What do you have planned for us tonight Lauri?" I said looking back at her.

"Ahh...you'll have to wait and see. But make sure you dress for the occassion. "

"I will Lauri...don't worry!"




My Secret Love Ch. 07



So we both ate a light lunch saving our appetites for tonight, though I didn't know what I was saving my appetite for. She must have a huge banquet prepared for tonight, I thought to myself smiling. Oh well, I guess I'll find out tonight. After lunch Lauri got up to leave to go back to work.

"I'll see you in a few hours Samantha"

"Okay Lauri," I said yelling from the kitchen as I cleaned up the dishes. "You have a good afternoon at the clinic"

"I will. Enjoy your afternoon as well." Lauri said as she headed out the door.

I finished up the dishes and flopped on the couch for a few minutes and flipped on the tv. Before I knew it I was dozing in and out of sleep. I guess the afternoon's events had worn me out more than I had realized and my little dozing on the couch would be beneficial anyway so I would be rejuvenated for the night, so I let myself relax and fall in and out of sleep.

I must have been a sleep for a couple of hours. I yawned and stretched and looked over at the clock. It was almost 4pm. "Shit," I said to myself as I quickly got up and ran up the stairs to take a shower. I went into the bedroom and searched through the drawers for anything nice to wear for tonight. I had more of my things sent over from my apartment a while back so I had quite a bit of my clothing at Lauri's now.

I grabbed some nice sexy black lacey underwear and bra, and threw them on the bed, and then searched the closet for anything decent to wear. Since I didn't know where we were going I wasn't quite sure of what to wear, but she did say something dressy. I looked through my clothes but the only really dressy thing I had was my long black silky dress. I wore that on very formal occassions, so I wasn't sure if this would be a bit too much. It cupped my figure, showing every curve of my body, right down to the crevice of my breasts, even making my size "B" look even enticing. "Well," I said to myself, "I suppose this will be okay...I think."

I grabbed a bath towel and headed to the bathroom. I ran the shower and discarded my clothes on the bathroom floor as well as my leg brace and hopped into the shower. I let the water run all over my body, it felt so nice and refreshing. I stood there for awhile under the water just enjoying the relaxing and soothing feeling of the water over me. I must have been in there for awhile for the bathroom was becoming pretty steamy in there. I finished up washing my hair and shaving my legs before getting out.

Lauri came home from work and yelled out to Samantha, but there was no answer. She then heard the shower running upstairs and thought to herself that Samantha must be in the shower. Lauri headed upstairs to the bedroom to grab some clothes herself to start getting ready for the night. She noticed the dress and lacy underwear and bra on the bed. "Hmm...very nice," she thought to herself. "Well, what will I wear," she said as she looked through her closet. She noticed a long slim red dress of her own hanging in there. "Yes, this will be the one," Lauri said smiling to herself. She also grabbed some sexy underwear and bra of her own to wear. "This will definitely be a night to celebrate," she thought to herself. "Okay, since Samantha is using the upstairs bathroom, I'll head to the downstairs one, though all my makeup is up here." Lauri grabbed a towel and some of her things to take down stairs and was about to leave when the sight before her took her quite off guard.

Samantha finished up her shower, dried her body off and hung the towel up on the rod, but kept one towel wrapped around her hair so water wouldn't drip over her. She didn't hear Lauri come up so presumed she was still alone in the house and figured it would be okay to walk out into the bedroom naked since Lauri wasn't back yet. Samantha walked out in the bedroom and was taken off guard and shocked to see Lauri standing there. She was speechless and for a few moments couldn't move. She then realized she was standing there naked and ran back into the bathroom and grabbed a towel and wrapped around her body before coming back out again. All Lauri could do was think, "wow," and wasn't able to respond verbally either at the time to Samantha.

Samantha walked back out into the bedroom. "Um...sorry about that Lauri. I hadn't realized you were back yet, otherwise I would have had myself covered up."

Lauri cleared her throat, "No, don't worry about it Samantha, it didn't bother me. If you want to walk around here naked, well that is your business." Lauri said jokingly. "Besides Samantha, we're both women and grown ups here, and its not like we haven't seen each other before."

I smiled and laughed, "Yeah, I suppose your right Lauri. Anyway, I am sorry though. Hey do you want to use the bathroom? I'm done in there now "

"No, it's alright Samantha. I'll use the one downstairs, that way you can get ready up here with some privacy."

"Well, it doesn't bother me if you did want to use the one up here."

"No, I think I want to be surprised by the end results of seeing how beautiful you'll look in that hot looking dress of yours," Lauri said as she pointed to my dress on the bed.

I laughed at her remark, "Hot looking, huh? Okay, Lauri, I'll see you downstairs when I'm done getting ready here. And by the way, I'm not the only one who's dress is hot looking, the little red one of yours there is one hot one as well." I said laughing.

Lauri turned back and gave me a look and smiled before she headed downstairs with her things to get ready herself. Lauri never did take long to get ready, so I imagined she would probably be ready and waiting for me downstairs I thought to myself.

I finished up as quickly as I could cause I knew Lauri would be done before me. I finished my hair and makeup and was pleased with the results and then grabbed some body perfumed lotion and rubbed that all over my body. I lightly powdered my body and then finished up with some light perfume that I applied near my crevice and behind my ears. I put my underwear and bra on and silky stockings before I slipped on my dress over my head.

The dress fit every curve of my body and I was pleased to see that I was still able to wear the dress. I wasn't sure if it would after the accident since I had not been able to be as active and work out as I had done before the accident. But the dress fit wonderfully, and hung perfectly over my shoulders filling out every area of my body and leaving everything to be desired. I smiled to myself. "Hmmm, maybe I really shouldn't be wearing this tonight." Just then I was interrupted with my thoughts, Lauri had called out to me and asked me if I was almost ready. I called out telling her that I would be down momentarily.

I slipped on my shoes. I saw my leg brace on the bed, but decided tonight with this dress I wasn't going to ruin the image and wear it. I would take it easy, and walk slowly and careful if I had to. I grabbed my purse and slowly headed around the corner leaving the bedroom and down the hall to the stairway. I came to the head of the stair way and saw Lauri down there waiting for me. She absolutely looked beautiful. She was wearing this lovely slim red dress that also hung on her every curve. She looked magnificient. She definitely took my breath away. "This was definitely going to be a hard night. I have to remember, we're just friends Samantha, we're just friends." I repeated to myself in my mind. I took a deep inhale and nervously walked down the stairs to where Lauri was waiting.

Lauri sat there and looked up at Samantha with awe in her expression as she watched Samantha come down the stairs. "Oh my God," Lauri thought to herself. "She looks so beautiful. This is definitely going to be one hell of a night." Lauri thought.

I came down the stairs and approached Lauri. "Hi, Lauri. I must say you look really nice tonight. Well actually you look beautiful. That dress really looks wonderful on you. So do you have some type of a hot date or something?" I said smiling.

Lauri laughed and smiled at me, "Well I could say the same thing about you Ms. Pearson. You look really beautiful as well Samantha. So are you ready to go then?"

"Yes, I sure am." I took a deep breath. "I'm a bit nervous to tell you the truth."

"Why, Samantha? You have nothing to feel nervous about. Come, on" Lauri grabbed my hand and pulled me along. "We're going to have a fun time tonight."

We headed out the door to Lauri's car and climbed in. "So where are we going Lauri?"

"It's a small place outside of town. I hope you like seafood? My husband would take me to this place on special occassions, well more like our anniversary, but I think tonight is a special occassion." Lauri said smiling at me as she buckled up and started the car.

"Mmm..Well seafood sounds great Lauri. So your husband use to take you here huh? Well it must be a really nice place then."

Lauri pulled out of the driveway and we were on our way to the restaurant with the hopes of a wonderful night to come, I had thought and wished secretly to myself.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 08



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

We drove for about ten miles out of town and pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. It looked like a nice quaint little restaurant. The parking lot was completely packed full though.

I looked towards Lauri. "It looks pretty busy, I wonder if we'll get a table."

"Not to worry Samantha, I called and made reservations earlier today."

I smiled at Lauri, "Well good thinking Lauri"

We climbed out of the car and headed inside the restaurant. As soon as we entered I noticed it was very dark inside, but it was dimly lit with candles throughout the restaurant that gave it a very romantic type of mystic atmosphere. "Hmmm....very nice," I thought to myself. "This is definitely a very ritzy type of restaurant, and very much a restaurant you would take a date to." I wondered why Lauri would take me here, and let alone how we could afford it. Well, we were both dressed accordingly anyway.

Lauri approached the desk and signed her name on the list. We waited in the waiting area till the waitress called our names and seated us to our table. Our table was in the back near a corner, kind've private and away from the general view of others. It was like we had our own private little dining room for we were off all by ourselves. I wasn't complaining though. Soft music played in the background I noticed as we walked to our table.

The waitress seated us, handed us the menu and asked what we would like to drink. I was about to order myself a drink of some kind when Lauri interrupted me and did the honors and ordered a bottle of wine.

"Lauri, isn't that quite expensive. I would have been happy with something less expensive."

"Samantha, we're here to celebrate your recovery, so let loose, and let me do the honors tonight."

I leaned across the table a little towards Lauri, "Lauri, this is quite expensive," I said after viewing the menu. "Neither one of us can afford this. I know you said that we're celebrating tonight but I know we're both not rich here either."

"Samantha, please, let me do this for you tonight. You have a lot to celebrate. Look how much you've over come these past few months. You faced death and over come that, and you put up with my mood swings as well." Lauri said smiling. "Samantha, I want to do this for you. Please don't worry about the cost of this, besides I'm ordering for the both of us." Lauri said chuckling to herself.

"Oh, you are, are you? Okay" I smiled and handed Lauri my menu. "So I guess I won't need this then. I'll trust you then with my appetite."

"Oh, you won't have to worry about that Samantha. Believe me, I know how much you eat, and tonight that's something you won't be worrying about."

Just then the waitress came to the table and uncorked our wine bottle and poured our drinks for us. Lauri lifted up her glass to make a toast.

"To us and our wonderful friendship. I'm so glad that I was given this chance to get to know you, and become an important part of your life. May our friendship only grow stronger."

I lifted my glass, "To us and our friendship," I repeated and tapped Lauri's wine glass before taking a sip of my wine. The wine was so refreshing and smooth. You could definitely tell it was a very expensive brand.

"Mmmm...Lauri, this wine is wonderful. You are just really going all out tonight, aren't you?"

"Well, you deserve it Samantha. I want to give you a nice time tonight."

The waitress approached our table again a few minutes later asking if we were ready to order. I looked over at Lauri and raised my eyebrows, "So are we ready Lauri to order?"

Lauri just smiled at me and began to ramble off all different types of appetizers I hadn't even heard of before, then finally she ordered our main entree. The waitress looked at the both of us like sizing the two of us up, trying to figure out in her mind how these two small women could eat all of that. The expression on her face almost made me laugh, but I agreed with her, even I was a bit taken aback with so much food that Lauri had ordered, and wondered how we would consume it all. I imagined this all would cost a fortune, but Lauri was the one ordering so I left it up to her judgement.

Lauri and I enjoyed our wine and casual conversation as we waited for our food to arrive.

"Wow, Lauri, I guess you weren't kidding were you about taking care of my appetite tonight." I said leaning over the table smiling as the waitress brought out our appetizers on a huge tray...shrimp cocktails in a seafood sauce, crab, clams to just name a few of them. I couldn't keep count of them all, but they all looked wonderfully delicious and my palate was already watering.

The waitress gave us a huge plastic type apron to place around us so we didn't get ourselves all dirty with the delicious array before us. I looked over at Lauri and shook my head, "Your something else, you know that," I said jokingly.

"Enjoy Samantha, come on dig in!"

She didn't need to tell me twice as I filled my plate with the wonderful assortment before me and began to savor the taste of crabs and clams.

"Mmmm...Lauri this is so wonderful!" I said as I continued to fill my mouth with more.

"Here," Lauri said reaching over the table, "try some of the shrimp cocktails, they're great." Lauri said as she pricked her fork with one of her shrimps and leaned over and placed her fork in my mouth. I sucked down on her fork releasing the shrimp into my awaiting mouth. "Yes...mmm...they are very delicious," I said as Lauri fed me another. I wiped my mouth, and pushed Lauri's fork away. "Mmm..that's enough, I can't possibly eat anymore, I'm already full and we still have our main entree left." I said taking a deep breath trying to save some room for our main course.

Lauri smiled and sat back down and put her fork in her mouth eating the rest of her shrimp. We both washed our entrees down with our wine and before long realized that we had gone through a whole bottle. Lauri topped off my glass with the last of the wine.

The waitress came out and cleared our tables and brought our main course out. Lauri ordered another bottle of wine, as I eyed the huge lobster before us and wondered how the hell I was going to eat anymore. I took another sip of my wine almost polishing off another glass. Lauri leaned over and filled my glass up again. I looked at her, "What? Are you trying to get me drunk here?" I said jokingly. Lauri smiled and filled her glass full again.

"Come on Samantha, dig in here and try some of the lobster, it's so juicy and delicious." Lauri said as she devoured some of the lobster in her mouth.

"Hmm...it looks really juicy," I said smiling as I noticed lobster juices trailing down Lauri's mouth. I leaned over and wiped her mouth.

"Hmm..thanks Samantha"

I was glad we were both wearing those plastic aprons over us otherwise I'm sure we would have both been covered with seafood all over our beautiful dresses by now. I finished off my last piece of lobster sucking the juices off my fingers. There was no room with proper table etiquette when you eat seafood, that's for sure. Lauri leaned back and seemed to be amused watching me suck the juices off my fingers. "Are you quite amused watching me Lauri?" I said smiling.

"Yes, quite." Lauri laughed.

"Well Lauri I can't eat anymore. It was a wonderful meal. You sure went all out, and definitely know how to show me a great time."

"Well, the night's not over yet Samantha. How bout some dessert?"

"Are you crazy! I couldn't possibly eat anything else."

"Oh yes you can," Lauri said smiling slyly at me.

Just then the waitress brought out a homemade New York cheesecake. Lauri had known that was my favorite dessert and that despite my resistance that when it came to my cheesecake I couldn't resist. "Oh your so sneaky Lauri, you knew I wouldn't turn down cheesecake, what are you trying to do, get me fat here?" I said smiling and shaking my head.

Lauri smiled and handed me my slice. After a few mouthfuls though I couldn't eat anymore. I was totally full. I sat back in my chair and took a deep inhale trying to expand any room in my stomach but I was too full for even that. Both Lauri and I chatted the rest of the time allowing our food to digest, while we sipped at the rest of our wine, just enjoying each other's company.

It was definitely turning into a very interesting night with the both of us playing the seductive game going back and forth throughout the dinner teasing each other with food and such, but I didn't expect much from all of that, then general playfulness and just two good friends just having a good time together and enjoying each other's company.

Besides, after all that we had gone through the past few months and the last time I tried to become intimate with her, and now with me moving out in a week, I wasn't about to now take that chance with her and get hurt all over again, though I did wish things were different.

The waitress came to our table and Lauri handed her credit card and paid the bill. I couldn't imagine after everything we ate what the cost of all of that came to. "So are you ready to go Samantha," Lauri said as she got up and grabbed her purse.

"Definitely," I smiled. "I think we both need to go for a run now and work off all we ate."

"Come on Ms. Pearson, let's get out of here." Lauri smiled grabbing my arm. I turned and faced Lauri as we headed out the door.

"Thanks, Lauri for the lovely dinner. It really meant alot to me that you did this for me."

"I wanted to Samantha. I really enjoyed this evening. You deserve to have someone treat you right for once." Lauri said softly as we walked to her car.

It was dark out now, and the freshness of the night filled the air and enlivened you. "Hmmm...what a nice evening...isn't it Lauri?" I said as I breathed in the night air.

"Yes, it's beautiful out." Lauri said smiling at me as we got into her car.

Lauri started the car, and as far as I knew we were heading back to her place, but Lauri went right by her exit and continued on till she pulled off the road near the lakeside. Lauri turned to me.

"I thought it was such a nice evening out that why don't we go for a walk along the lake. I hope you don't mind?"

I swallowed, "Um...no, of course not, it's a lovely night..um.. a nice walk would be nice." I said very nervously.

Lauri and I got out of her car and began to walk down to the lake. We were quiet as we approached the lake. As we reached the sand we both took off our shoes and walked barefoot along the sand. So much for my stockings I thought amusingly.

The cool night air brushed over our bodies, as we walked along the edge of the water listening to the water rush back and forth. We were silent in our thoughts as we enjoyed the night and each other's company as we walked along the sand. I would find myself occassionally looking over at Lauri smiling and admiring how beautiful she looked as the moonlit night reflected off her face showing her beauty. Lauri would smile back at me in silence as we continued to walk along the sand in our quietness.

The farther we walked the darker and later it became, though at that moment time seemed to stand still to the both of us. We soon turned around and slowly walked back to her car enjoying our time together. We approached her car and looked back at the lake one last time, as to imprint our walk, our time together that night in our memories for good. I breathed the cool refreshing lake air one last time, closing my eyes remembering this feeling of quietness and solitude of love I felt at that moment before I turned and got into Lauri's car.

Lauri looked over at me and smiled softly before we drove off heading back to her house. I rested my head back on Lauri's seat thinking of how wonderful the night had been as we drove in silence. Lauri pulled into her driveway and we both got out and walked to the door.

I followed Lauri in, closing the front door behind me. We both walked to the couch and collapsed and rested our heads on the back of the couch totally relaxed. We both turned to each other and started to laugh and smile. We were both exhausted but didn't want the night to end. It had been such a wonderful evening, but I knew Lauri would have to get up early for work. I yawned and covered my mouth, and turned to Lauri.

"Oh, Lauri, thank you for the wonderful evening. Dinner was so wonderful. I can't believe how much you did and spent on me tonight. I really appreciate all that you did. And the walk, wow, that was so beautiful there at the lake. Thank you for taking me there tonight."

"Samantha, your more than welcome. I loved taking you out tonight and spending the evening with you. I hope you had a nice time."

"Are you kidding, of course I did! It was magnificient." I said smiling. " I can't believe how much you did."

"Well, your worth it Samantha, I hope you know that. Your very special to me, and I care very deeply for you."

"Well, your special to me too Lauri, and have become such an important part of my life." I paused and cleared my throat. I was getting a little too close to comfort there. "So, anyway, it's getting late, don't you have to be up early for work tomorrow?"

Lauri looked over at me and gave me a sneaky smile and shrugged her shoulders. I started to laugh, "Let me guess, you planned to have tomorrow off, didn't you?"

Lauri nodded and smiled, and got up and walked into the kitchen. "Samantha, the night is still young, well to us anyway since we don't have to be up early, so how bout a night cap of some sort." Lauri said as she poured herself a gin and tonic.

"Hmmm...yeah, okay, I'll have what your having." I began to get very nervous. This seemed too much like that one night of how things began before things got all heated up, and it frightened me for I didn't want to get myself in that same situation again. But I figured having a drink or two wouldn't hurt, and besides I can control myself here I thought, trying to calm my nerves.

Lauri walked back into the living room and handed me my drink. She placed her drink on the end table and walked to her stereo, and put some soft music on. She turned the lights off and lit some candles that were on her entertainment center, and then walked back to the couch and sat down beside me. I watched her do all of this, and took a big swig of my gin and tonic as I felt myself become very nervous and jittery.

I leaned back into the couch some more and rested my head, relaxing to the music trying to stay calm as Lauri sat beside me. She leaned back into the couch as well as we both were quiet listening to the music and sipping at our drinks.

The atmosphere was very soothing and romantic which as our silence grew, my body became more nervous. I sat up and drank some more of my drink. Lauri moved a little closer into me, "Oh God," I thought to myself trying to calm my breathing and rapidly beating heart.

Lauri relaxed into me more, "Nice evening, isn't it Samantha?" She seemed to say so calmly.

"Um...ah..yeah, it sure is Lauri," I took a deep breath and slowly got up and walked into the kitchen and poured myself another drink.

Lauri followed me into the kitchen and poured herself another drink as well. I quickly went back to the couch trying to avoid any physical contact with her as much as possible, though my emotional control was wearing pretty thin.

A slow soothing song came on. Lauri walked up to me and placed her drink on the counter. She reached her hand out to me. I looked up at her puzzled.

"Come on Samantha, dance with me?" Lauri said softly reaching her hand out to me. "The music is just right, soothing, the night is perfect...come on...please?" Lauri held her hand out pleadingly.

My mind was saying no, but my body betrayed me and before I knew it I was taking Lauri's hand in mine, and getting up from the couch. Lauri pulled me into her, though I struggled to maintain some distance between us as we moved slowly to the music. I was so stiff and rigid and couldn't relax, and definitely wouldn't make eye contact with her. She must of noticed my uneasiness, and pulled me into her even more despite my resistance.

As the song drew on, I found myself relaxing more into her and letting my body flow to the music, and allowing myself to get caught up in the moment. I closed my eyes, resting my head on her shoulders as I felt our bodies meld and move in one rhthym to the music. It felt so nice to be close to her, to feel her heartbeat next to mine.

I didn't notice the music changing, as Lauri and I stood still in each other's arms. Lauri looked down at me and lifted my chin towards her as she cupped my face. She slowly leaned forward and pressed her lips so softly against mine. I was too lost in my emotions for her that I allowed her to kiss me. Our kiss deepened, before I realized what was happening. My fear overtook me and I pulled away from her. I walked in the kitchen to take a breather with my back turned towards Lauri. I had to calm myself, and not let myself get caught up in this again. Every ounce of my body was telling me to grab her and love her, but my mind was telling me logically this would never be. She would never leave her husband, don't do this Samantha, stay strong. But I love her...damn, damn damn...my thoughts were screaming in my head.

Lauri walked up behind me and touched my shoulders. I pulled away from her.

"Please, Samantha, don't pull away from me. I need you. I love you. Please turn around...please, look at me."

I turned and faced Lauri. "Lauri, I can't do this, please, don't! I can't do this. I can't get hurt by you again. I can't! " I turned and started to cry pulling away from Lauri's soft touch.

Lauri came closer and wrapped her arms around me pulling me into her. I tried to struggle and pull away from her but she held onto me even more. "Please, don't do this," I cried. My tears overflowing at this point as my emotions overtook me.

"Ssshh," she said as she held me close. "I love you Samantha. I love you," Lauri said as she began to cry into me as well. "I know you love me. God I don't blame you Samantha for not trusting me especially since the last time, and how I have been, but I love you, and I can't deny that anymore. Please...please Samantha, I need you...I want you so much. Please let me love you." Lauri pulled Samantha into her even tighter as they both cried into each other.

I looked up to her with my tear soaked eyes, and found the love I had been looking for and wanting for so long. I let my fears subside and leaned into her as I felt her lips once again press so softly into me. My heart melding into hers as our kiss deepened. She pulled away, and wiped away my tears, stroking my face, and so lovingly looked within my eyes. I looked within her eyes as I saw her love for me, so strong and so soul wrenching, that pulled me into her even more. She pulled me into her once again as we softly and so lovingly kissed. The warmth of our bodies so close, yet not close enough. I needed to feel her closer to me, to feel her skin upon mine. She must have been feeling the same for she took my hand into hers as she led me upstairs to the bedroom.

We slowly walked into the bedroom. Lauri lit some more candles before walking over to me. She reached her hand out and pulled me into her and leaned her face down into mine as we allowed our lips contact once again. I felt her tongue enter my mouth, so soft and loving. I couldn't get enough of her, as I pushed my body into her even more, allowing our tongues deeper access.

Lauri pulled back looking upon me. She looked so lovingly into me as she so slowly ran her hands up my arms to my shoulders. She let her hands slip under my shoulder straps and gently and so slowly slipped the straps of my shoulders. She ran her hands slowly down my body, stroking every curve and crevice of my body. I felt her hands slowly run slightly over my breasts, to my nipples circling them around the material, then so slowly down to my stomach.




My Secret Love Ch. 08



I took a deep inhale, as I felt my body respond to her touches. I could feel myself becoming wet with each enticing touch of hers. I leaned my head back as I felt her slowly rest her hand upon my center. She applied soft pressure on my center. I felt the fire burn within me as she so slowly seduced me. Lauri slowly ran her fingers back up over the curvature of my dress, up to my breasts, lingering upon them before she leaned in and gently kissed the curvature of my neck.

I felt her hands slip under my dress as she gently slipped the dress off, letting my dress fall to the floor. She helped me step out of the dress, and pulled me into her for another deep kiss. Our kiss lingered a little while longer before I pulled back, reaching my hands up stroking Lauri's face as I let my fingers trail down her jawline to the curvature of her neck. I trailed my fingers down the crevice of her breasts before running my fingers around her nipples. I reached my hands around her and unzipped her dress allowing her dress to fall to the floor. I took Lauri's hand as she stepped out of her dress towards me. We embraced allowing our hands to roam over our bodies as we kissed deeply.

I felt Lauri's hands caressing and stroking my body as she unclipped my bra. She slipped her fingers under my bra and gently removed my bra exposing my breasts to her. My breathing became rapid as I felt her fingers slightly caressing my breasts, trailing her fingers around my nipples.

My nipples becoming hard as I felt my body becoming flushed as I felt each caress of her soft touch. My body shivered each time I felt her soft caresses trailing over my body. Lauri led me to the bed, kissing me as she slowly and gently pushed me backwards onto the bed as she climbed up upon my body pressing herself into me as our kiss continued. I felt her tongue so lovingly enter me, as our tongues enterwined and tried to gain deeper access to each other as we strived to become closer, as our passion enlightened the flames in our bodies. I felt my wetness soaked through my underwear as my body burned and became inflamed with each touch and kiss.

Lauri trailed her kisses down my chin, to the crevice of my neck, kissing her way down to my breasts. I gasped as I felt her lips upon my breasts as I felt her tongue trail around my nipples before sucking my breasts into her mouth. Her hands caressed at my breasts as her lips kissed and sucked at my nipples pulling my nipples further into her mouth. I felt her passion begin to over take her as she squeezed my breasts, pulling and sucking them harder and further into her mouth. I gasped and moaned with each sensation that her tongue was doing to me.

I felt her wet soft kisses trail down my stomach. She trailed her tongue around my belly button before licking her way down to the top of my underwear. I felt her wet hot kisses through my underwear as she kissed my center and sucked at my wetness through the material. She slipped her fingers around the material and gently pulled my underwear over my hips, and down my legs till they were removed. She held my underwear and threw them off the side of the bed. She leaned over me and pressed her hips into me as she undid her bra exposing her breasts to me. I looked at her with such awe as her beautiful breasts were before me.

I couldn't help but reach up and caress her breasts. She leaned into me, pressing her body into me as I felt our breasts softly touch. She ran her hands through my hair, as she leaned in and kissed me. I pressed my hips up into her trying to press my center further into her. She pressed down, pressing her hips into mine as our centers pushed into each other grinding and rotating our hips further into each other.

"Please," I begged her as my voice was raspy as I said that. "I want to feel your wetness upon me. Take your underwear off."

Lauri sat up and removed her underwear and threw them off the bed. I swallowed hard as I saw how beautiful her center was. She pressed her center into mine rotating her hips into me as I felt her wetness mingle with my own. I felt my center becoming on fire and my wetness soaking through.

I needed her to touch me, to stroke me there. With each thrust of her hips into me I gasped and moaned more audibly as I neared climax. I was so turned on, and had waited for this moment for so long that it didn't take my body long to respond to her and almost climax, but I wanted it to last so I struggled to hold back. "Please, touch me." I begged her.

She kissed me passionately, as I felt her hand reach down and touch my center, stroking my clit. For someone who never made love to a woman before, she sure knew what to do, and wasn't shy about it. It took me by surprise how in control she was, but it was very much of a turn on. I wanted her to take me...take control, to just make me moan, and scream, and to just ravish me. I needed her so much, more than I had ever wanted or needed from anyone before. This love we shared brought our lovemaking to a level I had never experienced with anyone before. "Oh God!" I moaned as I felt her increase her stroking.

"Oh God Samantha, you are so beautiful. You turn me on so much. Oh yes...your so wet. I love to feel you, to touch you." Lauri said all out of breath as she kissed me hard as she continued to stroke my clit.

I gasped as I felt her fingers enter me and began to thrust slowly at first. I pushed my hips up into her with each thrust of her fingers. "Yes, don't stop!" I pleaded as I felt myself nearing climax again. She began to thrust harder and faster now in rhythm of my hips thrusting up to meet her.

Lauri withdrew her fingers from me. "Please, don't stop," I said frustrated and out of breath.

"Oh darling, I'm not about to stop. I want to taste you, and make you cum for me and taste your sweet cum." Lauri said all teasingly and seductively.

Lauri moved down my body as I felt her first teasing me with her fingers. My hips just about flew off the bed as I felt her tongue enter me. She began to stroke my clit with her tongue. "Oh yes, that feels so good," I moaned with every stroke of her tongue. She moved her tongue down to my entrance and began to thrust her tongue inside of me, fucking me that way, as her fingers stroked my clit. "Hmmm...don't stop," I said out of breath as I began to thrust my hips faster and harder into her, "I'm going to cum!" I screamed out.

Lauri moved her tongue to my clit and stroked faster and harder now. "Oh God, yes...that feels so good. Harder, please." I moaned out. "Yes, that's it. I'm going to cum...hmmm...yes...oh yes, suck my clit. Yes that's it." I moaned out. "Harder darling, suck my clit harder into you mouth, pull it baby into your mouth, let me feel your teeth around it...suck it. Oh yes! " I let out one last moan and thrust of my hips as my orgasm ripped through me. I thrust my hips a few more times as my orgasm went through me, as Lauri sucked up the last of my wetness. I collapsed my hips back on the bed breathing rapidly as I regained my breath and calmed my beating heart.

"Mmmm...you taste so good Samantha. God, I love you!" She said as she climbed up my body and kissed me hard and passionately.

I took a deep inhale, "I love you too," I said out of breath as I pulled Lauri into me and kissed her so softly and lovingly. She embraced me and held me as my breathing calmed. We laid like that for a few minutes in each other's arms and we held each other and felt each other's love.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. Lauri looked at me concerned and asked me if I was alright as she so lovingly wiped away my tears and pierced my soul with her love. "Oh yes darling, I am perfectly fine. I just love you so much," I said as I pulled her into me and kissed her deeply. Lauri smiled at me, "I love you too Samantha. Your so beautiful, " she said as she leaned in and we kissed deeply again.

I felt my passion becoming inflamed again and I pushed Lauri over and rolled on top of her as I continued to kiss her. I wanted to make love to her, to show her how much I loved her. I ran my hands through her hair and held her face as I kissed her deeply. I pulled away and looked dearingly into her eyes stroking her face before I pressed my lips to her again. I let my tongue trail down to her neck as I began to kiss and suck at her neck.

Lauri turned her head away from me, giving me better access to her neck as I continued to kiss her there, hearing her moan each time I kissed her further down her neck. I let my hands trace around her breasts gently at first, but feeling her breathing increase beneath me and feeling her need, and my need, I began to squeeze harder at her breasts. I felt her breasts within my hands, squeezing and pulling her nipples harder into my hands.

She arched her back to me and moaned each time I pulled harder at her nipples. She was so beautiful. Her nipples were so hard now. I let my kissed follow my hands, kissing and sucking at her breasts and nipples, pulling and sucking her breasts harder into my mouth. She tastes so sweet. Her nipples becoming hard in my mouth as I sucked and pulled them harder into me, and my hands manipulated and squeezed at her breasts.

Lauri began to moan louder, wanting and needing more from me. I saw the raw passion in her eyes and knew she needed me to touch her. Each time I sucked and pulled at her breasts she arched her back into me more and moaned louder. Her breathing becoming more rapid with each touch and kiss of my mouth.

I moved up her body, kissing her harder and passionately as I let my hand reach down to her center as I began to stroke her clit. She was so wet, which turned me on more knowing that she was wet because of me. I stroked her clit, letting my fingers pinch and pull at her clit a little more now as she arched her hips more into me, her moaning increasing with each touch of my fingers. I let my fingers enter her, thrusting into her slowly, then increasing my pace, thrusting harder and faster as she pushed her hips harder into my hand. She wanted me to go harder and faster, as she screamed out for me to fuck her. "Yes...oh God Samantha...yes Fuck me! " She screamed out as she flung her hips off the bed. I thrust my fingers harder and faster into her as I felt her walls becoming tighter, squeezing my fingers with each thrust of my hand. I could feel her nearing climax as she thrust her hips faster and harder into my hand. "Oh baby," she screamed out, "I'm going to cum!" And with that I felt all her muscles stiffen and squeeze around my fingers as I felt her orgasm rip through her.

She continued to let out gasps and moans as her orgasm continued. I continued to thrust my hand into her as she thrust her hips into me one last time collasping on the bed.

I let my fingers stroke her clit and remain within her till I felt the lasting effects of her orgasm subside. I pulled my fingers out of her, and licked off her wetness. She tasted so sweet and wonderful. I had to have more of her. Lauri laid there regaining her breathing as she reached down and stroked my hair. I moved further down her body and kissed the sweat mingled with her skin, kissing her stomach and holding her into me before I moved further down to her center.

I blew gently on her clit teasing her before letting my tongue taste her. I felt her passion begin again as she awaited to feel my tongue inside of her. I continued to tease her, as her wetness increased. Finally I pressed my face into her center and let my tongue enter her. I began to suck and pull her clit into my mouth trying to suck up all of her wetness and cum.

I trailed my tongue up and around her clit and between her folds before entering her with my tongue. I pressed my face harder into her so I could thrust my tongue further and deeper into her. I let my tongue twist and twirl inside of her feeling the walls of her center with my tongue. Lauri pushed her hips harder into my face so I could go deeper into her, as she pushed and pulled at my hair each time I thrust my tongue further and deeper within her. I could feel the walls of her vagina tighten as my tongue tasted and thrust deeper within her feeling the soft moist walls around my tongue.

I could feel her body stiffening again nearing climax, so I let my tongue trail up to her clit stroking her clit faster and harder now as her hips thrust faster now in rhythm with my tongue. I sucked and pulled at her clit, pulling her clit harder now into my mouth. She thrust one last time and let out another moan pushing my face into her as her orgasm ripped through her again. I pushed my tongue up inside of her tasting all of her cum that was released for me. I sucked and devoured the rest of her cum till there was no more. I licked her one last time savoring her taste before I climbed up her body and tasted her lips upon mine in another kiss.

She looked at me with so much love, and pulled me into her kissing me deeply with so much heart that it pierced my soul to it's core. I had never felt so much love and passion for anyone before. She truly had all of my heart and soul, and I never wanted to let her go. I leaned in for another kiss and felt our love so strongly. She held me so tightly and said endearing words of love to me as we continued to kiss and hold each other.

We held each other for the rest of the night, loving each other, and making love throughout the night till the morning light found us cuddled in each other's arms sound asleep and totally exhausted. Our naked bodies enterwined as we held each other so tightly as the covers hung loosely over our bodies.

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 09



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

* * * * *

The bright light of the sun shown through the window. I yawned and stretched, and looked down at the beauty before me. Lauri laid curled in my arms still sound asleep. I smiled to myself looking upon her. She looked so innocent and beautiful laying there. My thoughts of the night before flashed through my mind as I smiled and leaned over and kissed Lauri on her cheek, and gently caressed her face.

I had found my one true love, she was it for me, and it scared me to death. Last night was so beautiful and so loving, but I wondered if it would last, if she would still go back to her husband. Those thoughts haunted me. I loved her so much, I just couldn't lose her now. I shook those fears from my mind as I stroked Lauri's face as she gently stirred before me.

She moved slightly and opened her eyes and looked up at me smiling.

"Hmmm...good morning sweetheart," she said smiling up at me showing so much love in her expression.

I looked down at Lauri still caressing her face as I leaned in and softly kissed her lips. "Good morning," I said feeling so much love for this woman before me.

We both moved into each other's arms, moving closer as we wrapped our arms around each other feeling our nakedness pressed into each other. We pulled each other even closer, embracing and feeling our love and comfort. We laid in each other's arms for a little while longer before the sun motivated us to finally get out of bed. Neither of us wanting to move from each other's embrace. I felt complete to finally be in her arms, I couldn't possibly see myself this way with anyone else.

I leaned down and kissed Lauri again softly before I sat up. Lauri moaned as I moved from her grasp.

"Where are you heading?" she groaned.

"I'm going to freshen up in the shower...your more than welcome to join me." I smiled down at her.

Lauri looked up at me and smiled but didn't move, so I got up and went into the bathroom and started the water. I ran my hands under the water waiting for the water to get warm. As soon as the water was warm enough, I jumped into the shower cleaning myself up. I grabbed my toothbrush and brushed my teeth while I was in the shower, and placed my toothbrush down on the counter as I finished up soaping my body, letting the water wash all over me.

I heard someone come into the bathroom and peeked around the curtain as I saw Lauri brushing her teeth, so I went back under the water to finish washing myself and was about to turn the water off and get out when I felt Lauri's hands come up behind me, rubbing her hands up and down my back.

I turned around and faced her and smiled. "So you decided to join me afterall," I said as I leaned into her kissing her deeply. Lauri leaned into me and kissed me back as we let the water run over our bodies. Lauri grabbed the soap bar and seductively run the soap up and over my breasts and down to my center. I began to feel the fire begin in my body again as I felt my wetness between my legs. Lauri manipulated the soap, caressing all over my body but focusing on my breasts and my clit with the soap. I couldn't help myself as a soft moan escaped my mouth. I took the soap from her and pulled her into me as I kissed her more passionately now.

I pulled back and ran the soap all over her body, doing the same that she had done to me, running the soap up and around her breasts, and down to her center. I lingered my fingers momentarily on her clit stroking her clit up and down and in circles with my fingers till I heard her slightly moan. I felt her wetness increase as I continued to touch her. I pulled her into me as we both kissed harder and deeper as we let the water wash the soap off our bodies. Our hands roaming over our bodies, touching, caressing as we were oblivious to the water and our surroundings as we let our passion get the best of us. All that could be heard was our moans and lovemaking as we both kissed and loved each other in the shower bringing each other to climax.

We kissed softly now as we washed our lovemaking and wetness off our bodies before we exited the shower. I got out and grabbed a towel and handed one to Lauri as I helped her dry off. Next thing I knew we were embracing each other again and passionately kissing each other again. We both dropped our towels, and walked into the bedroom as we both laid down on the bed and began to make love all over again learning new positions and same positions from the night before. We made love most of the day, only taking breaks to eat and use the bathroom, before we found ourselves in each other's arms once again. Our passion never seemed to stop, but only consumed us. We couldn't get enough of each other. It was like we had been waiting for the other our whole life, and now that we had found each other we didn't want to let go of that, and wanted to make up for our lost time apart.

After a day of making love we finally made our way downstairs to get something for supper. Since we were both exhausted from our lovemaking, and rightfully so, we both decided to order in and relax for the night. We ordered a pizza, and put a movie in to watch and relax for the rest of the evening. We were all worn out, and rested in each other's arms as we cuddled and watched the movie.

I looked up at Lauri and smiled as I cuddled more into her. She looked down at me and stroked my hair and told me how much she loved me and wrapped her arms around me pulling me more into her as we settled in for the night in front of the tv. We both dozed in and out of sleep before realizing it was getting late, so we made our way back upstairs again.

We both climbed into bed after changing, and cuddled into each other. Lauri leaned into me, kissing me and holding me close to her. I reached up and stroked her face and told her I loved her. "I love you too Samantha," she said softly to me as we both fell off to sleep in each other's arms.

The next thing I remember was that damn alarm going off at 5am. I had forgot that Lauri had to be up early for work again. I felt bad for her. She must be exhausted I thought to myself. I felt Lauri get up from the bed as she leaned over and kissed me good morning before she headed into the bathroom to get ready.

An hour or so later I felt her touching my face. I opened my eyes and smiled up at her. "I'm leaving now Samantha for work. I'll see you at lunch later, okay," she said as she leaned in and kissed me one last time.

"Have a good day Lauri," I said groggily. " I love you"

"I love you too sweetheart, go back to sleep now. I'll see you later," she said before she headed out the door.

I met Lauri later for lunch as we talked about our love, last night, and how much we loved and cared for each other. Our relationship definitely seemed to have taken a different direction then I had ever imagined. I had given up all hope that Lauri and I would actually become lovers, but now that we had, everything seemed so anew to me.

I wasn't content anymore knowing she was married. I wanted to have all of her to just myself, and she would definitely have to choose. We didn't talk about the future yet, but I had hoped against all hope that somehow we would find a way to together, but maybe I was so blinded by my love for her that I couldn't see reality staring me right in the face(her husband)! But I chose to ignore those fears as I continued on my fantasy of a life with her.

The rest of the week was so wonderful. We loved each other all week, and I truly found myself falling more in love with her. I couldn't possibly see my life without her. She asked me to stay on longer till her children came back, but beyond that we didn't discuss our outcome of what was to come of her and I. I didn't want to know. I could only see our love that we shared, and my love I had for her. As each day went by, we only grew closer.

Each day she would head off to work, I would occassionally visit school again and meet up with Shirley a few times, but normally I would stay home and keep busy till Lauri came home. I would usually cook for her, which I had come to enjoy doing so much for her, though we both took turns in the kitchen. Lauri wouldn't have it any other way, she loved my cooking, but felt it was only fair that we took turns, besides she loved it just as much as I did cooking for me as an expression of her love.

We spent our evenings usually relaxing in front of the tv, making love, sharing and enjoying our time together, just basically doing anything and everything together. We enjoyed sitting around and talking about our life and childhood, and just enjoyed each other's company. A few weeks had gone by now, and I knew the time would soon come for me to move out before her kids returned home, unless she chose to ask me to stay on, but she never did. As far as her husband, I wasn't sure where he fit into all of this anymore. Lauri finally opened up to me one night and told me the reason why they were separated. Her husband had been unfaithful and had been in an adulterous affair, and left to be with this other woman. Beyond that Lauri never told me more, so I never pushed it, for I could tell it was too emotional for her to talk about.

This evening I was planning a romantic dinner and night for Lauri. I cooked us an italian meal from scratch with salad and dessert. I was finishing up in the kitchen now waiting for Lauri to come home from work. I had candles set around the room with soft music playing in the background and a bottle of massage oil awaiting the both of us. I wanted tonight to be special and romantic so I set the scene for a perfect dinner and night. I finished up by placing candles and a vase of roses on the dining room table, finishing it off with the final touch of our wine bottle chilling on ice. I looked back and admired the view before taking off my apron and heading upstairs to change into something more sexy and to freshen up before Lauri got home.

I finished up in the bathroom and came back downstairs before Lauri arrived home. Lauri came in momentarily and looked around the living room and smiled at me. "Hmmm...Samantha something smells wonderful," she saw the candles and walked up to me and kissed me hello. "The place looks wonderful darling. Looks like you have been working hard this afternoon."

"Oh your worth it though," I said smiling. "How bout you go up and change before dinner."

Lauri leaned into me and kissed me one last time thanking me for all my hard work, before she headed up to get changed into something more comfortable. She soon came down wearing a light summery dress that looked really sexy on her. I complimented her on how good she looked and she just smiled.

I dished up dinner and we shared a very romantic dinner as the music and candles set our scene. After sharing and enjoying our dinner we retired to the couch. We cuddled on the couch for awhile kissing and holding each other before I got up and returned with the massage oil. I didn't want things to get too heated with our passion before I was able to deliver a very slow and erotic massage. I wanted to tease her first, seducing her with my very romantic setting and slow erotic touches. I wanted her to want and desire me, almost begging me to make love to her till she couldn't stand it no more.

I laid a towel on the carpet and had Lauri lay down removing her clothes so I could give her a full body massage. I placed a towel over her, covering her lower body while I exposed her upper back to begin my massage. I rubbed some oil on my hands, warming the oil before I began to slowly and seductively run my hands all around Lauri's upper back. I run my fingers up to her neck, massaging and kneading at her muscles. I felt Lauri relax into my touch as she slightly let our little moans with each touch of my hands over her body.

I worked my hands down to her lower lumbar region and massaged and kneaded at her muscles pushing deep within her muscles to relax her more. I poured some more oil on my hands, and slowly removed the rest of her towel over her body as I rubbed my hands up and down the length of her thighs to her toes. I massaged her feet for a while before slowly massaging and bringing my hands up to her inner thighs bringing my fingers so closely to her center but quickly moving my hands away before she could enjoy the feeling of me touching her. Gradually though I massaged closer and closer up and down her inner thighs to her center till finally I was directly massaging her clit.

Lauri was moaning and lifting her hips up from the floor giving my hands better access to stroke her clit and allow my fingers entry deeper into her. I slowly let my fingers enter her and began to thrust my fingers deeper within rhythm of her hips. I teased her to the point of almost bringing her to climax before I pulled my hand away and turned her over.

Lauri grumbled with frustration as I let out a small chuckle. I enjoyed this game of seducing her. She was so wet, and at this point begged me to touch her and make love to her. I poured more oil on my hands as I began to massage her shoulders, her arms, till my hands gently caressed her beautiful breasts and nipples. I couldn't help myself as I leaned forward and sucked one of her nipples in my mouth, as I caressed and massaged at her other breast.

Lauri was so turned on by this point that she kept pushing her hips up into me, wanting me to touch her center and bring her to orgasm. I slowly let my hands slide down her stomach resting slightly on her center before I dipped my fingers inside of her. Lauri gasped as I began to stroke her. Her passion consumed me, and I found myself to be the one losing control as Lauri aggressively pulled me into her pulling off my clothes as we hungrily rolled on the ground kissing each other hard and touching each other's centers thrusting our fingers deeper into each other as we both were moaning uncontrollably.

I rolled on top of her as I began to thrust and grind my hips into her. Lauri pushed her hips up to meet mine as we found ourselves nearing climax as our hips continued to thrust and press harder and faster into each other. I ground my hips harder into her as we were about to cum.

Suddenly the phone rang. I momentarily was distracted and stopped thrusting my hips. Lauri out of breath told me not to stop and kept grinding her hips up into me.

"Come on sweetheart, don't stop!" she begged me, as I continued to kiss her and neared climax, but we both stopped immediately as we heard the voice on the machine. We laid motionless turning our heads towards the phone listening to the message.

A man's voice was on the machine and I knew immediately who it was by the expression on Lauri's face.

"Lauri, this is Jim. I know honey you probably don't want to talk to me after all this time, but please give us this chance. I miss you. I know I made a mistake darling. I've left this other women. I don't love her, and I only want you. I want us to work our marriage out, not just for the kids, but because I love you and need you in my life. Please, Lauri, pick up if your there. Lauri? Okay, maybe your out. Can you please call me back when you get in, or can we talk please? I'll come by tomorrow to see you. Please Lauri we need to talk. I love you." Then we heard him hang up.

I swallowed in shock, as too, did Lauri. I didn't know what to say. Lauri got up silently showing no emotion as she picked her clothes up from the floor and got dressed. I waited for her to look at me, to say something to me but she sat there in silence. I stood there looking at her waiting for something, but she wouldn't even look my way. I grabbed my clothes and ran up the stairs and got dressed. This phone call was my wake up call, and by Lauri's expression and lack of, towards me after this gave me my answer. I knew what I had to do.

I grabbed a bag and threw it on the bed, and started to pack my clothes as I felt the stinging hot tears run down my face. I loved her with all of my heart, but I should have realized that she would never leave her husband for me, and I had to face that reality and devastation. I was totally heart broken, but I couldn't come between her and her husband. She would have to leave him because she didn't love him or want him anymore, not because I forced her into that position. I want her to love me for me, and only me, but deep down in my heart I knew that was impossible for she was in love with two people. I loved her too much, and that is why I had to let her go and give her back her life.

I finished packing as I collapsed to the floor as I sobbed uncontrollably. I could hardly move, I was so devastated, but now I had to put on a strong face and face Lauri downstairs. I got my sobbing under control, wiped away my tears, grabbed my bags and headed down the stairs. I walked down the stairs and saw Lauri sitting with her legs curled up in a ball crying.

I went up to her, asking for something, some response, but she refused to respond to me. I looked back one more time and told her I loved her, and walked towards the door. Suddenly she screamed out for me not to leave running up to me hugging and pulling on me. I dropped my bags and held her as we both cried.

I pulled away trying to regain my composure. I looked into her loving eyes with so much love and hurt that was reflected back towards me. I asked her one simple question. "Do you still love him?" She hung her head and said nothing for I knew she still did.

I felt my tears hot upon my face again, "Can I ask you another question?" I said crying as I spoke. "Lauri, if your husband never cheated on you, would you and I have ever happened?" She hung her head, but I lifted her chin towards me. She cried as she looked into my eyes and said, "No."

I turned my head with hurt and pain as I began to walk out the door but she still clung to me pulling me back. "Please don't leave Samantha, I do love you, and need you in my life. We'll work this out, please, stay with me." she begged and pleaded.

I saw the love but also confusion in her eyes. "I can't be in the middle of you and your husband Lauri. I love you too much. I need you, and only you, but I won't be your little pawn in this. I can't be with you if you sleep in his bed. I'm sorry Lauri, I'm so sorry." I said crying and turning away from her.

"Please!" she cried out, "I love you!"

"Oh God Lauri, I love you so much," I said as I pulled her in for one last passionate kiss. "God if only you could tell me you didn't love him, and only wanted me, but you can't."

I turned and walked out of her life for good. Lauri collapsed to the floor screaming out to Samantha crying but it did no good, for Samantha left her. Lauri remained in that position all night in a ball, crying and sobbing for she had lost the best thing in her life. She couldn't stop it from happening for what Samantha had said was true, she did still love her husband and was in love with them both, and for the life of her she didn't know what to do, nor knew how she could ever live without Samantha either for she loved her with all of her heart.

Samantha had run outside to her car crying uncontrollably. She couldn't look back for she knew she would give in to her. She loved her so much and couldn't imagine her life without her, but she had to leave, run from her. Samantha climbed into her car and made the heartwrenching drive away from Lauri's house leaving her for good.

The next few weeks before graduation were the hardest for both Lauri and Samantha. They hadn't seen or made contact since then, and they both were miserable and depressed and missing the other, but neither one would give in and call.

Samantha was running again, like she did in her past. She had to get away from all of the hurt and pain. She did her best and sent out resumes to everyone out of state to find a program she could start immediately soon after graduation where she could acquire her clinical skills and work later on. She figured nothing was keeping her there anymore, so she needed to get away from it all. She had to get away from Lauri, and instead of facing her fears, she was running from them yet again.




My Secret Love Ch. 09



One week before graduation she received a call. There had been other responses to her resumes but this one took her the furthest away from all of her hurt and pain. A call came in from Pennsylvania.

"Hello, may I speak with Ms. Pearson please?" the person from the other end asked.

"Yes, this is Samantha Pearson speaking."

"Hello Samantha, my name is Dr. Johnson, I'm calling from Pennsylvania. You sent us your resume and cover letter explaining your situation with obtaining clinical requirements as well as a job postion later on. Well I have a proposition for you, if you are interested?"

"Yes, go ahead, " I said eagerly.

"Well I have two practices here. I supervise and run the clinic here at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, and also have my own private practice as well. You could help me and assist me at the university and gain your clinical requirements that way. And if you pass your boards and promise me a contract to work at my practice afterwards then I'll hire you. Now let me tell you, there are others I'm considering but your resume and cover letter intrigued me. If your interested let me know, but I do need to know soon as we want to hire someone as soon as possible."

"Well, Dr. Johnson, there's no need for you to wait any longer for my answer, there's nothing holding me here, " I said sadly, "I graduate in a week, and as soon as you need me there let me know. Give me enough time to get moved first but I can start as soon as you need me."

"Okay, that is great then Samantha. We'll be in touch then. I'll send you off the necessary paperwork and will be seeing you soon."

"Thank you Dr. Johnson for this opportunity."

"Oh and by the way, you can call me Patti. Dr. Johnson is so formal. If you're going to be working for me then get use to calling me Patti, everyone else does. I'm pretty laid back but you'll find that out when you come here." I could hear the smile in her voice and I could tell that she was going to be a wonderful person to work for.

"Thank you Dr...um.. I mean Patti. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Samantha."

I hung up the phone. My excitement was short lived as my thoughts of Lauri and the sadness there filled me, and how I wish things could have been so different. But I knew this was the only way. I had to leave for I couldn't live in the same town and be around the woman I loved if I couldn't have her.

The arrangements were made and I was moving a few days after graduation. Dr. Johnson sent me all the forms and it was all set. I called and made arrangements for movers to come and pack my things, so all I had to do was jump in my car with a few of my things and drive out there.

Tonight was my graduation, though I was pleased this day had finally come a heaviness was still with me. I met Shirley early for dinner before we headed over to the auditorium. I tried to put on a happy face for Shirley, as we chatted for awhile over dinner discussing our future plans. I had to hide my sadness for no one could know and find out.

"So Shirley, what are your plans after graduation?"

"Hmm...well I'm not too sure Samantha. I sent some resumes out and have a few responses, but I have family out East and I'm thinking maybe I might go out there."

"Oh really!" I said surprised.

"Why?" Shirley said looking at me puzzled.

"Oh I just think it's a small world is all. You see, " I said smiling, "I just took a position out there and am moving to Pennsylvania after graduation. I've been offered a great opportunity to finish my clinical requirements and work as well. In fact, I might even try and get my Masters degree there if I have time."

"Wow, that's great news Samantha. Well if I ever make it out there I'll have to look you up."

"Yeah, you better do that!" I said smiling. "Well, we better head on over to the auditorium." I said taking a deep breath.

"Yes, graduation...finally!" Shirley said excitedly.

We both made our way over to the auditorium and prepared for the ceremony, dressing into our graduation gowns and hats. I walked in the bathroom straightening my gown and hat trying to be happy for myself but I knew this would be the last time I would see Lauri. Actually this would be the first time we would see each other again since I left her house. I didn't know how she had been doing, or what she had been doing for neither of us had attempted to call the other. Maybe we were both too damn stubborn to give in, or maybe our fears and the truth of reality of things held us back. I don't know. "Well maybe this is for the best anyway," I said to myself as I finished straightening my gown in the mirror.

Back at Lauri's place she was feeling the same things Samantha had been feeling the past few weeks. She wanted to call her, to tell her that she loved her but felt that maybe Samantha was better off without her. "I've hurt her too much already, it's probably best this way anyway." She said sadly as she wiped away her tears. Lauri looked into the mirror fixing her makeup from the tears that had washed over her face. "Get yourself together here, Lauri. Samantha can't see you this way at graduation." Lauri said trying to put on a strong face before she left for the auditorium.

Lauri's children had been back now, and sadly Lauri agreed to take her husband back. She thought she should feel happy since her husband was back in her house and life again, but she couldn't stop thinking of Samantha and loving her. Everytime her husband touched her she felt such a sadness for she wished his touches were Samantha's. She still loved her husband, but something was different, something had changed. Or maybe it wasn't that anything changed, maybe she just never really loved her husband as deeply as she loved and still loves Samantha. Her husband thought that Lauri's rejections to his touches was from his unfaithfulness, and Lauri just led him to believe that, as she told him it would just take time to heal from that. Though in her heart she truly meant time to heal from losing Samantha, though she knew she would never stop loving Samantha, and would never get over her, but maybe with time she thought, the hurt wouldn't be as bad.

I walked out into the auditorium and took my seat next to Shirley and the other students as our graduation ceremony began. We sat there listening to speakers, and our instructors as each went up there and spoke to us congratulating us on making it this far. When Lauri was up there saying her speech I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, as her eyes found mine as well.

For a moment time stood still as our eyes met, then Lauri looked away and finished her speech before calling each of us up to the stage to receive our diplomas. My name was called as I slowly left my chair and made my way up to the stage. I felt my palms sweating and my heart beating out of my chest as I got closer to Lauri. She congratulated me and handed me my diploma. I could still see the love and pain in her eyes, as our eyes momentarily met once more. I returned to my seat with my diploma as we waited for the other students to receive their degree.

When we all returned back to our seats, we stood awaiting our speakers signal congratulating us as we threw our hats up into the air and cheered. We turned to each other and hugged and congratulated each other, hugging and crying and saying our final goodbyes and wishing everyone well. I came up to Shirley and we hugged each other. She promised to look me up if she made it out East, and we hugged goodbye. After saying our goodbyes the auditorium was becoming empty for many had left. I was about to head back to my apartment when I felt a hand tap me on my shoulder. I turned around and it was Lauri.

She congratulated me and asked me how I was doing. I told her I was well, though that was a strict lie. She said things were okay with her as well, though I think we both knew otherwise and that we were only being polite with each other. I told her I was leaving the day after tomorrow and she got this distant sad look in her eyes even though she wished me well. She asked me if she could come by before I left. I was a bit hesistant but told her it would be alright. So we said our goodbyes as we both turned and walked away from each other. I looked back momentarily at her as I saw her walk away. I took a breath, before turning back around and walking out.

Lauri walked off trying to hold her tears in as she didn't dare look back at Samantha, but she stopped and looked back momentarily as she saw Samantha walking off. She sadly sighed, remembering their memories together as she turned back around and walked out.

Moving day...

"Well that should be everything," I said to the movers as they carried the rest of my boxes out of my apartment.

I finished loading some of my clothes and odds and ends in my car before looking back one last time at my apartment. I grabbed my keys, and smiled at the memories that I had shared here. More importantly was the memories that Lauri and I had shared and the love we had shared together, a part of me that would never let go, for I would never stop loving her.

I hesistated before leaving, I guess I had hoped Lauri would stop by before I left, but she never showed, and I couldn't wait around any longer for I needed to get on the road. I had a long drive ahead that awaited me. I walked out to my car and jumped in. I looked around one last time in search of Lauri, but I didn't see her anywhere. I sighed sadly to myself as I started my car and pulled out of the driveway. "I'll miss you Lauri," I said out loud, dealing with my own way of closure of saying goodbye to her for my own peace of mind. I turned the radio on as the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart" played, my own sentiments exactly, as I heard the words repeat over and over again in my head even after the song had ended.

"Once upon a time I was falling in love now I'm only falling apart nothing I can do... Total Eclipse of the Heart...

Once upon a time there was light in my life but now there's only love in the dark nothing I can say Total Eclipse of the Heart..."

To Be Continued...



My Secret Love Ch. 10



Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.

The conclusion to the saga of Samantha and Lauri...

* * * * *

I pulled out of my driveway and headed down the road as I flipped back and forth the radio channels. I was sick of hearing love songs, and wasn't in the mood to hear them so I turned the radio off. My heart was heavy as it was, and I didn't need to hear songs about broken hearts and lost loves.

I was about to turn onto the exit to take the interstate when I heard someone blaring their horn at me. I didn't pay too much attention but was getting irritated by the minute with this person riding my ass behind me.

They wouldn't stop beeping their horn, and came up beside me. I turned to look at them and was shocked to see who it was. It was Lauri and she was waving her arms at me directing me to pull over. I pulled over to the side of the road completely shocked and wondered what the hell was going on. I opened my car door and walked towards her as she got out of her car and came running up to me all crazy like and out of breath.

She started rambling all crazy nonsense and I couldn't make out a thing she was trying to say. I told her to calm down and to take a breath before she tried to speak again. I placed my hand on her shoulder trying to ease her, as Lauri calmed down and finally got her breath.

"Are you okay?" I said concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine now that I caught up with you. I went to your apartment but you were already gone. I was running late in traffic so when I got to your apartment and you were gone I started to freak out." Lauri started to cry.

"Shhh...it's okay Lauri. See, you found me." I said smiling and comforting her.

"I just got all crazy thinking I would never get a chance to see you again and say goodbye. And I drove like a maniac all hysterical trying to find your car."

"Well, I'm glad you caught up with me. I did wait around for you, but I thought you changed your mind about coming to say goodbye."

"No, never Samantha. I love you, I would never want you to leave without knowing how much I care." Lauri paused for a few seconds, "Here," Lauri said, her hands shaking, "I wanted to give you something before you leave." Lauri took a little package out of her purse and handed it to me.

I looked at her puzzled and opened up the gift. I looked at it and my eyes began to water with tears. "It's beautiful Lauri," I said sniffling wiping my tears from my eyes. It was a gold and diamond shaped pendant and necklace. I turned it over and saw an inscription. It read, "My Secret Love...I will always love you."

I smiled at the inscription for it was so right, we were both each other's secret loves for our relationship had been a secret from everyone. I pulled Lauri into me and hugged her and thanked her for the beautiful gift. "I will always treasure it Lauri and hold it dear to my heart. I will always wear it."

I put it on my neck immediately and smiled at Lauri.

"Keep it as an rememberance of me and our love," Lauri said sadly.

"Oh darling, I don't need anything to remember you by. For you will always be a part of me. Your my heart, and I will never stop loving you Lauri...never." I started to cry and tried to pull away from Lauri so she wouldn't see my tears.

But Lauri pulled me into her and we embraced, looking into each other's eyes with such intensity and love that it pierced our hearts and souls. We were both so saddened and our hearts were so heavy. I leaned into her and kissed her one last time as we kissed so intensely and urgently as we knew this would be our last time. Lauri's hands held my face pulling me more into her as our kisses and tears mixed together as we cried and kissed so passionately.

I had to pull away knowing that it would only make it worse the longer we continued to kiss and hold each other, and as hard as it was to pull away from her I knew I had to go. I looked back at her crying.

Lauri looked at me one last time, "I'll always love you Samantha Pearson. " She said to me as we both walked away from each other. "I won't say goodbye Samantha, for it will never be goodbye for us."

I turned back and smiled sadly at her. "Till next time then my love," I said as the tears flowed down my face.

"Till next time Samantha," Lauri said smiling back at me.

We both got back into our cars, as I drove off. Lauri sat there awhile as her tears washed over her face. "I'll never forget you Samantha," she said to herself as she started up her car and drove off.

I continued to drive fighting off my tears as my hand wrapped around the pendant. I squeezed it in my hand, and sighed and smiled sadly to myself. She would always be a part of me, and I knew I would never love another like her again. She was everything to me, all that I had ever hoped for and everything I ever needed in my life. I would have done anything for her, to have her love and only her, but sadly I knew that was impossible. I sniffled and wiped away my tears, "at least I'll have her in my dreams," I thought sadly to myself as I continued to drive along the freeway to a new beginning and new life for myself.

Six years later....

Though all this time had passed I still often thought of Lauri and wondered how she was. I never got involved with anyone again after her, though I tried to date, I just never could get into it. My heart would always be with Lauri, and I just could never get over that to be with anyone else, so I stayed alone and put all of my time and energy the past few years into my work and my career. I finished up my masters degree in research and did alot of research and development with dental products and services, and travelled the countryside doing conventions as well as working in private practices as well.

I had worked for Patti for a couple of years but once I received my research degree and began travelling quite a bit I advanced in my career and had other offers and opportunities. Though I didn't work for Patti anymore we still remained in contact, and remained good friends, and hung out occassionally. She had been a wonderful boss to work for those first couple of years and really gave me my first break in everything in starting out my career.

And now here I am, I travel everywhere and give speeches on new developments and such, and write for a few dental journals as well, so I've kept myself pretty busy these past few years. But I've had to, if only for my own survival I've had to put everything I had into my work and helping others, and not think of my own problems and past. It has helped me. I love my work and find great pleasure in all that I have accomplished in that time, so I don't feel I've wasted my life by not having a social life and dating. I feel I get all I need from my work and helping others and I'm content with that.

I remember telling Shirley at one time so long ago it seems now, that it was a small world for she had family out here. Well she ended up calling me out of the blue a few years ago. She did stay behind for a year or so and worked in the city where we graduated, but then she came out East here. She called me up one afternoon tracking me down at the University of Pennsylvania for I was still working with Patti at the time, actually it was just before I left there and started out my research. I was quite surprised but it was nice to hear from her. We met up and started to hang out as well occassionally. On one of the occassions when we were out I introduced shirley to Patti, and it was love at first sight for the both of them, so I guess you can say I brought them together. Shirley now works for Patti as her hygienist, and I actually think their four year anniversary is coming up here soon that they've been together, which reminds me I better put that down in my date book. Hmmm...where was I? Yes, okay, talking about Shirley.

Anyway the past few years Shirley and I have developed a great friendship. She jokes about how her and I could have had something together at the beginning, if I wasn't so hung up on Lauri. I know she's joking though. Shirley and Patti are made for each other, I wouldn't think of any two who belong more together, than of course me and Lauri, but that's besides the point. Anyway, I told her about me and Lauri a few years ago. Shirley is such a pain at times though, she's always trying to set me up on these blind dates, though I cancel out on them all the time which frustrates the hell out of her.

She thinks I'm wasting my life, and need to get out and have some type of personal life. Well I must say, she tries anyway. But she doesn't seem to realize that I can't just move on after Lauri. God, I have tried, but I haven't been able to. Lauri just will always be a part of me, and I can't love another when I'm still so much in love with her, even after all these years I still love her as much as that first day. She was my soul mate, and I just can't have that with anyone else. But I do give Shirley credit. She makes me laugh for she tries anyway, it's always something new with her. She'll call me up and tells me there's someone who wants to meet me and I just laugh. I just ignore her most of the time now though, and we just joke about it. Poor Patti, she actually lives with Shirley and has to put up with her not only at work but at home too, but I say that jokingly, for they really are perfect together.

There was this one time though a few years back about four years ago I did run into Lauri at one of the conventions. She was there as well giving a speech. I wanted to go up to her and talk with her, but I noticed when she left that her husband was with her so I didn't go up to her. I'm not too sure if she knew I was there for she left before I gave my speech. Well at least I know she is well, and I guess happy with her husband. I wish I could say the same for myself, but truthfully I am happy, my work does bring me some form of fullfillment and contentment.

Well I better put this journal down, I have to pack again, I have to head off to another convention tomorrow so I have plenty to do here.

Samantha put her journal down and went upstairs of her apartment and pulled out a bag and began to pack her things for the next day. She was heading off to Chicago for a big convention, only a select few would be attending this one, and Samantha was one of the chosen few. It was almost an honor to have been selected. Samantha wondered if Lauri would be at this one for she knew Lauri was pretty prestigious in some of her work, but then again she hadn't seen her in over four years now at any of the other conventions, so maybe she wouldn't be there. Samantha kind've hoped that she wouldn't be, she didn't need to have old hurts and pains rehashed like it had been for her when she saw Lauri and her husband together that one day at that convention.

Samantha was finishing up with her packing and heading off to bed when she heard her doorbell ring. "Oh God, who could that be at this hour!" Samantha griped to herself. Samantha ran down the stairs to the front door and peeked through her window, and smiled to herself as she opened the door. "Hello, Shirley, now what do I owe this pleasure?" Samantha said smiling. "Hi babe, how you're doing?" Shirley said smiling as she walked in.

"I'm fine Shirley. What brings you by so late?"

"Well I was in the neighbourhood, and saw your light still on."

"Hmmm...yeah okay, I buy that one. C'mon what's going on?"

"Well actually this weekend, I'm not sure if you know but Patti and I are celebrating our 4th year anniversary and we would like you to come, especially since we owe a big part of us being together to you."

"Well Shirley you know I would come, but you could have told me that on the phone, so why else did you stop by?"

"Can't a friend stop by and visit." Shirley said smiling.

"Yeah, of course but this late."

"Actually I am sorry about it being late, I forgot that you go to bed so early." Shirley said laughing. "Seriously I really wasn't paying attention to the time."

"But I did meet someone tonight who I invited to the anniversary party that I wanted to stop by and tell you about."

"Ahh...no you don't. Not again Shirley. No more blind dates, please!" "Come on Samantha, you'd like her. She's about your age, maybe a little older and works in the medical field. She seems very nice and interesting. Heck if I wasn't so in love with Patti I would go for her."

"Shirley, please. I'm sure your right, she's probably a very nice person, but I'm not interested. I hope you didn't promise her anything, that I would go out with her or anything."

"Come on Samantha. How long has it been? When are you going to give it up and get on with your life?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about...Lauri?"

"Shirley, please can we give it a rest. Let me take care of my own personal life."

"Exactly Samantha, your not taking care of your own personal life. Look, just come to the party this weekend, she'll be there. I just told her about you and didn't set anything up. Besides just meet her, you don't have to go out with her. Just meet her, and go from there...okay?"

"Fine Shirley I'll meet her, but I won't promise anything."

"Great Samantha. Well I better get moving here, I don't want to keep my love waiting for me."

"Okay Shirley get home to your love." I said smiling as I opened the door as Shirley left and walked to her car.

I shut my door and took a deep sigh, "Damn Shirley I wish sometimes you would just stay out of my life," I said to myself as I leaned against the door shaking my head. I walked upstairs and climbed into bed for I had to be up early to catch the plane. I turned my lights off and fell off to sleep as my distant thoughts of Lauri filled my head.