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Music Man Pt. 01

By: Alwaysraining



The protagonist does have a hard time, sometimes his own fault, but he also gets some consolation along the way. There is some sex here and there where the story demands it. Eight parts, all complete.

It's all fiction: if anyone thinks they appear in this story, it's not about you! 

Clarifications: 

GCSE: 'General Certificate of Secondary Education' usually taken at age sixteen in a number of subjects. Bright kids take as many as ten subjects. Grades A*-F (F=Fail)

DipABRSM: Diploma of the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music (Almost degree level).

Some High Schools in Britain take students from age eleven to eighteen, others to sixteen followed by two years at Sixth Form College. The schools referred to in the whole of this tale are of the former persuasion, eleven to eighteen.

All characters depicted having sex are over eighteen.

*****

Chapter One

Gerald Smith had no brothers or sisters, and having to amuse himself, had always been into music. His mother told him he used to 'sing' to tunes on the radio before he could talk. When he was four, he wanted to play the piano and his long-suffering father bought him one. He tried to play but became frustrated, so his parents sent him for piano lessons. He learned quickly, and by the time he was fourteen, he had passed his Grade Eight piano, and at sixteen his DipABRSM (performance). 

At the age of eleven he had asked for an electronic keyboard for his Christmas present. It opened up a whole new set of possibilities - sound effects. With his avid thirst for knowledge he learned about the inner workings of amplifiers, and bought a broken Marshall Amplifier with his own money, which he took to pieces, learned the function of each component and rebuilt it. He saved up and bought a synthesiser and this took him further creatively.

As a teenager he joined and formed bands in school. His ability to sight-read music made him popular, and he also began to find that girls found him attractive. With the typical insecurity of his age, he thought it was his musicianship that fascinated them. That was true, but he was also a good-looking boy. However, many of the other lads disliked him. He was a geek, and 'their' girls were far too interested in him.

It was at this time that he began to write songs, setting his own poetry to music. Most of his songs he kept to himself. Those he considered the best were only played by the school bands to which he belonged, and did not make an impression anywhere else.  

It was his mother, a hospital nurse, who sat him down 'for a chat'. He was fourteen, about to enter the final two years before GCSE, and he immediately began to resent her intervention in his life. Her 'chats' usually comprised her telling him what he should do. He folded his arms across his chest, a gesture not lost on her. 

"Don't be like that," she said with a smile.

"Like what?" Surly. Well, he was a teenager and had a stereotype to live down to.

"You know - the folded arms." She continued to smile with all the confidence of a mother who knows her son loves her to bits.

"What do you want mother?" he asked peevishly, but uncrossed his arms and couldn't help a half grin escaping from his lips.

"I want to know what direction your school work is going to take for these next two years, and then for 'A' levels. I mean you've practically got your ABRSM. Were you thinking of music or branching out a bit? It's just better to have more strings to your bow."

"Are you going-"

"No, neither I nor your father is going to tell you what to do," she said, reading his thought, "or even advise you, unless you ask for advice. We're interested in knowing whether you've thought about it."

Now he smiled at her. "You're right Mum, I hadn't thought. Science rather than languages definitely, but I like geography and history as well. I can do all that up to GCSE, but after that it would have to be science - especially physics and electronics. I never thought of music - I can get my Diploma in two years with Miss Turner privately."

Miss Turner was the woman to whom he went for piano lessons.

Eleanor Smith sighed in relief. "See, that wasn't so difficult, was it? You've a good head on your shoulders, Ged. You know that whatever you do, we will support you. I'll bet the electronics is for your music though?"

"It's good to have a clairvoyant mother, mother," he said with an affectionate laugh. "You're right of course."

He did gravitate to Sciences for his last years at high school, and his music took a back seat apart from getting his DipABRSM, as he devoted himself to his school studies. His top grades got him into university where again he concentrated on Physics. He also took courses in computing and electronics. 

He dabbled in music with friends at university, but his first love was writing poetry and setting it to music. Unlike some bands who put words to music, his songs were composed the other way round, and as a result were thought provoking and deeply evocative. It was, however, for his own enjoyment and satisfaction, so he still kept his songs to himself, and no one else knew of them.

As far as relationships were concerned, he had lost his virginity towards the end of High School to a pretty girl who had lost hers a couple of boys before him, and had dumped her current boyfriend for him. Sexually, she seemed as clueless as he was, and so he assiduously researched the whole subject of sex and experimented with his new and enthusiastic girlfriend. 

Looking back, the relationship seemed a little calculated to him, but eventually, deciding mutually they had learnt enough from each other and there was nowhere the relationship was going, they split up. 

She went back to her previous boyfriend, Lee Preston, who had taken up keyboards as a way of impressing her and getting her back from the geek. When Lee bedded her again he found she had now a wealth of sexual experience she had not had before, and realising whence this knowledge had come, hated Ged all the more.

There followed a series of one, two, or three night stands. He learned that every girl was different, which intrigued him, but sex was sex whomever one was with and he loved sex as any hormonal teenager would; it seemed the girls loved his technique, but also his kindness and gentleness.

At university he had already tired of trivial one night stands. He concentrated on friendships, and if those friendships gained added 'benefits' so much the better! In any case, he was single-minded in his pursuit of a first class degree even from his first year.

Half way through second year, he fell in with a girl, and this time it was lust at first sight; they simply could not get enough of each other's bodies, and they rutted together day after day and night after night. She moved in with him and most of their free time together was spent in bed. He loved the carnal selfishness of their life. However, they expressed a certain commitment at the outset. 

"I'll only fuck you," she said with considerable candour. "There'll be no one else until we split." Neither of them had any illusions that the relationship would lead anywhere long term. He promised the same.

He agreed, and he was faithful to his promise. She was not, but it took him three months to find out. He had gone home to see his parents and came back a day early. He went to their favourite club to find her, and was unfortunately successful. 

As he entered the back street leading to the club door, he heard a noise down an ally, and looking, saw his girlfriend with her jeans and knickers round her ankles, her knees wide and her bare behind on view, being roundly tupped by a man he didn't know.

He approached them. She became aware of his presence and gave a little scream. There followed a predictable sequence of communication.

"You some sort of pervert?" the man asked aggressively.

"Ged, it's not what you think," she squeaked, oblivious to the cliché.

"You know him?" the man asked, having paused from his endeavours, though remaining embedded.

"He's my boyfriend."

"Was her boyfriend." Ged spat.

"Please, Ged!"

"You'd have been more convincing if you'd got your cheating cunt off his prick," Ged snarled, reduced to profanity in his outrage, which was unusual for him, given his gift for language.

"Get lost! She's mine now." The man was still buried in her and was thus in no position to make any aggressive move towards Ged, but began instead to resume pumping in and out of her, causing her to groan.

"You're welcome to her," Ged replied, and then to her: "Your stuff will be in the hall, Tiffany. Leave your keys on the kitchen table; we're finished."

Gerald had learned something, and it went into a heartfelt song of betrayal. The song wondered about the faithfulness of a sexually greedy woman and the hurt she inflicted. He had himself tested for STDs, which precaution found its way into one of the more withering verses. He was clean.

He had enjoyed a lust-driven relationship which in its sexual expression was deeply selfish. For the remainder of the second year he remained celibate. 

He went back to his girl friends, and on occasion one of them would sleep with him as they had before, but it would usually be a hug, a cuddle and real sleep rather than full sex. The girls said it was a refreshing change, and Ged felt their love and affection and valued it greatly.

It was two weeks into his third year that he met Cassie. It was a life-changing meeting, and all because he sang the betrayal song in a pub with some friends with whom he had formed a folk group.

He was sitting in the bar of the Student Union early one Monday evening in October, sketching ideas for a song about loneliness. The Union was sufficiently far from his flat to make the journey back there tiresome, and since the bar was practically empty at that time of the day and week, he was less likely to meet any of this friends. The song idea had come to him the night before, and it was pestering him but he couldn't seem to get the hang of it.

"Gerald Smith?" came a female voice.

"Ged," he said without looking up, still intent on being dissatisfied with the words he had written. "The only person to call me Gerald is my mother when she's pissed at me."

The owner of the female voice gave a little chirping laugh and sat down opposite him. He looked up. If he had wanted to finish the song, looking up was a big mistake.

They say that men are turned on by sight, and women by touch. Whoever 'they' are, they have vastly oversimplified the process of sexual attraction and arousal between the sexes, but in this case the idea was devastatingly accurate for Ged. 

Different men find different types of women mesmerisingly beautiful. There are women who are generally agreed by all to be beautiful, but there is a form of beauty which burns itself into a particular man's being and which is unique to an individual man's vision.

Ged's ideal woman in every physical aspect had just seated herself in front of him at the table, and the shock was at once deeply shattering and at the same time all embracing and complete.

The goddess in front of him had a face that Ged could have gazed on for all eternity. She had the face that was for him the epitome of beauty, and of visceral attraction. 

Her hair was auburn, almost red. Her eyes were luminous green, her nose small and her mouth wide; her neck was long and slender, and he instantly ached to touch it. Everything about her face was delicate and her skin was firm and clear and begged to be kissed all over. 

He did not notice the rest of her, in any case she was sitting down across the table from him dressed in a thick sweater and jeans, most of which the table hid from his eyes. In any case her face was riveting enough. He stared, and stared, and stared. 

She began to look uncomfortable, taking his stare as aggression and dislike.

"Is there a problem?" she asked, her brow furrowing, as she became nervous. She knew she was pretty, and that she turned heads, but she had never before had this reaction from a man and could not interpret it.

Her furrowed brow made her if anything even more attractive. 

"Er, no!" he hastened to assure her, coming back to reality. "It's just... er... what can I do for you?" 

"You were singing in 'The Crown' last week?" she asked as her face relaxed.

"Y-yes?" He forced the word, and it came out as a strangled gasp. 

"Ben, I think it was, told me you wrote that song - the one about the cheating girl?"

"Yes." Again a strangled response.

"She was real, wasn't she? I mean, it really happened to you?" Her eyes glistened with gentleness and admiration, perhaps a tear, and it was turning him on.

"Yes." Hardly audible, but she heard, and her eyes softened even further.

"It made me cry," she offered. "I was dumped by someone I loved very much. He had said he wanted me for ever, but he didn't love me at all!"

"It happens. It's common. It's life, but it still hurts," said Ged, who was by now hardly torn at all between his writing and the magnetism he felt for this girl. She was so excruciatingly beautiful, so perfect in every way, his writing had no chance.

"I'm Cassie," she said. "Have you written much else?"

"Quite a bit," he replied, still tongue tied. 

"Show me?" she asked.

"They're back at my flat," he said, thinking, Oh God she'll think I don't care.

"Want to take me?" she said with a mischievous grin, clearly aware of the double entendre. 

"OK," he said, and put his stuff away. Take you? he thought. If only. Please!

It was a half-hour walk. He held his briefcase in the hand furthest from her, dying to take her hand in the free one. He dangled it, available, hoping she would take it but she didn't.

They talked all the way and at last he relaxed. It was mainly because they were walking side by side and he was no longer gazing on her captivating face. 

They talked about their courses. She was studying English Language and Literature. Her parents lived in the south of the country. They were typical working class, she said. She had a trouble-free upbringing, full of love, but very little money. He told her of his parents' interest in his music and their generosity supporting him. They were northern folk and had some money, but he suspected they had to be careful. They talked of their courses and student union politics.

Before he realised it, they were at the front door of the house he shared with two other lads. Each had a large bedroom and they shared the kitchen, bathroom and living room in which there was a television. He showed her round without going into the bedrooms. His housemates were not at home.

The kitchen was clean and she showed her surprise. He offered her a drink, and she opted for tea. As he made it, she asked about his housemates, and how they got on together. Did they have parties, girlfriends? 

She casually asked if he had a girlfriend, and he explained his celibacy. She smiled warmly at that, and he wondered if she was interested in him, dismissing the idea. She was far too beautiful to be bothered with him in that way. 

He forbore to ask about her love life, but she told him without his inquiry that she had caught her last boyfriend with another girl and he was unrepentant, telling her his new girl was better in bed than she was, so she dumped him. She was still hurting, feeling betrayed and belittled and her lovely face showed her pain. 

"There's something in me," she said, "that if someone lies to me, or cheats on me, that's the end for me - no going back ever. No matter how much I loved him."

He thought she probably still loved the lout. He sympathised, and they exchanged meaningful looks. 

Then she arched her eyebrows in that inviting way of hers, and asked, "You going to take me to your bed - room?" 

He coloured up and she laughed that delightful chirping laugh of hers he had heard on the way. He smiled back. "I've been wanting to do that since I met you," he returned, and immediately panicked, thinking he had gone too far. She frowned, confirming his fear.

"Sorry," he said hastily, "not really funny."

"No," she answered, her eyes shining. "You just took me by surprise - I just thought you were hitting on me - silly."

I was, he thought, but out loud: "Cassie, come on, let's go."

His room was tidy, and she commented on it. It was full of his electronic music-making equipment. 

On her comment about its tidiness he grinned, "You never know when a beautiful girl might just drop by," he said, openly flirting now he felt so much more at ease with her.

"If one comes," she reposted, "I'll get out of the way."

"She's already here," he said, suddenly quite serious. She looked surprised, then she coloured in her turn but did not look annoyed.

"Is this where you write your stuff?" she asked, moving to a safer topic.

"Sometimes," he said. "I write the music here - keyboard," and he gestured towards the instrument, "but I write the words anywhere - as soon as the idea comes to me."

"Will you sing me some of your songs?" she asked, climbing onto his bed and resting against the headboard.

"Better than that," he smiled, and put a CD into the player. Then he joined her on his bed. On the CD, he was singing some songs by himself, others with the group she had heard at the pub, and still others with another group she did not recognise.

She rested against the headboard, her eyes closed. At some of the songs a tear made its way down her cheek, at others she looked serene. He was able to gaze at her and he ached to touch her, take her in his arms.

When the CD finished, she sighed. 

"Ged, you are something special," she said looking sideways at him. "You can touch hearts," and she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

The kiss hit him like a lightning strike. He gasped, and she laughed, thinking he was joking, until she saw the shocked expression on his face.

"You OK?" she asked, worried. "Was that all right?"

"Oh, yes," he said sighing, "more than all right."

She giggled, and he looked over at her pretty face made all the more beautiful by her smile. 

"I'd better be going," she said. "Work to do; essays to write."

"I'll walk you home," he offered. "It's getting dark."

"Ged," she said firmly, "I'm a big girl, I can make my own way - you were writing a song when I interrupted you. Stay and finish it."

He shrugged. She obviously did not want more than friendship, and anyway she was far too good-looking to want him. Then a touch of obstinacy took hold.

"Cassie?" he said, as she got off the bed. He hesitated. "Would-?"

"Yes, I'd love to go out with you!" she laughed, and her face lit up. 

"Pardon?" he gasped as he climbed off the bed to stand before her.

"That's what you were going to ask, wasn't it?"

"Well, yes," he stuttered, "but you're so... Why are you interested in me?"

"You are a writer, a poet, a musician," she told him. "You are sensitive, creative and talented. And..." She paused and looked at him with mischief in her sparkling eyes.

"And?"

"You are fit, healthy, courteous, respectful and..." again the mischievous smile.

"Cassie!" he groaned.

"And you are a very good looking, sexy guy."

Ged flushed with embarrassment. "I can't believe you want me," he said and now his eyes were shining. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met - I can't stop looking at you."

"I noticed!" she laughed.

"And you're fun, and highly intelligent, and direct and, well-."

"OK," she said, cutting him off. "Enough of the mutual admiration. Anything you'd like to do before I leave?" There was that cheeky half smile again.

"Oh, yes," he said quietly and firmly. "Definitely." 

He reached for her arms and pulled her to him. His arms slid round her body and he brought his lips to hers. They kissed, their bodies pressed together. 


Music Man Pt. 01



It was a long and steamy kiss, and she showed no sign of ending it. The feel of her body, and the pressure of her modest breasts brought its inevitable result. He hardened fast, and she felt it, but she did not push him away; her arms were round his neck. 

It was he who ended the kiss. They looked into each other's eyes. Hers really were the most arresting green.

"Time for you to go," he said gently. "Otherwise..."

I don't mind, she thought, stroking his back.

"Cassie," he said softly, "not like this, it's too quick. Let's get to know each other a little more."

"Yes," she said, giving a little shake and feeling and looking relieved. "You're right. You must understand I've never thrown myself at anyone like this before, and I don't think I'm ready for a full relationship yet either."

"You understand it's not because I don't want to?" he added.

"I can feel that," and she laughed a dirty laugh, which was new, and he loved her even more.

They kissed again, more softly this time, exchanged mobile numbers, and she left.

-- 

Chapter Two

Cassie Fenton was very pretty, very clever, very sensuous, very passionate and rather impetuous. In spite of that, she had been in few relationships of any depth since she began to fill out as a young adolescent. She lost her virginity to a classmate in her last year at school, but he let her down very badly which shook her trust in boys, so she was more choosy from then on. 

She did go out with boys in that last school year, but would not agree to have any sexual contact beyond kissing and a fumble over her clothes. She relented and had one dalliance with a boy she fancied, who went out with her for three weeks professing undying love, took her to the school leavers' prom, after which he selfishly used her in the living room of his parents' house, she insisting he used a condom which he didn't like at all. Then a week into the summer holidays she saw him deep in the arms of another girl outside a club. She severed her relationship from him completely. Again she was heart-broken and her trust in boys was shattered.

She went on the pill when she started university and had a brief relationship, again trusting a plausible 3rd year student, allowing him to have sex at a party after they had been going together for a month, but he clearly lost interest over the following weeks, after he got what he wanted. It further shook her confidence.

So she had decided, as had Ged, to restrict her self-giving to someone who would be faithful and make a real relationship with her. She decided to concentrate on making real friends rather than looking for a lover. 

She made many friends of both sexes, and for the whole of the first year she resisted all attempts to woo her. At the root of things there was a deep fear of being betrayed again. However, at the beginning of her second year things changed greatly. She fell in love. This time it felt completely different.

Her best female friend Cheryl had been close with her since they met the year before, at Freshers' Week. That first term of first year, Cheryl met and fell in love with Brian who was a year older. Cassie could see why. He was steady and totally besotted with her, and she had completely fallen for him. 

Brian's parents had money and had bought him a terraced house for his second year. The pair had moved in together after Christmas and at the end of Cheryl's first year they had invited Cassie to join them for the following academic year. The house was old but clean and sound, and they loved it.

At the beginning of Cheryl's and Cassie's second year, they threw a 'start the year party', which doubled as Cassie's twentieth birthday party. Cassie knew most of the guests and moved around chatting to them. Then she became aware of a pair of eyes staring at her.

The eyes belonged to a very handsome guy. He was tall and lanky with a shaggy mane of jet black hair that fell to his shoulders. His eyes, were a startling very dark brown, almost black, below which was a large nose and a wide mouth. She returned his gaze and her heart began to flutter. As hostess, she went to him.

She swallowed, and held out her hand. "Hi!" she said brightly. "I'm Cassie - I live with Cheryl and Brian."

"I know." He smiled at her and she felt weak. "I'm Zak, short for Zachary. Never call me Zachary: I hate the name." He smiled more broadly and she knew she wanted him intensely. It bordered on compulsion.

"Zak," she repeated when she got her breath, "I like it."

She had fallen in love, and despite her understandable misgivings she could not resist. He obviously fancied her as well, and they made a date for the following week. Within two weeks they were in bed together. They had been for a drink and he had introduced three of his friends to her. They were members of a struggling rock band called Furtive Glance. They had had little success nationally but got regular gigs around the city.

Zak took her to his flat. It was dirty and untidy with much unwashed crockery piled in the sink. She did not notice, as she fell into his arms. His kisses were strong and powerful, and she could feel him hard against her thigh. His chest felt firm and defined and his arms sinuous. Her lust took her: it had been so long since she had had a man, though her last 'man' had been no more than a boy.

His hands wandered over her body as he kissed her, over her back, the cheeks of her bottom, then to her breasts. He cupped them over her tee shirt and she moaned at the touch. She broke the kiss, stood a pace back and pulled the tee shirt over her head. She reached behind her and unclipped her bra. Then she slowly unfastened and unzipped her jeans, and pushed them down. She was on fire from the way his eyes fastened on her thin boy-shorts. She loved his lustful gaze, how his eyes raked her body. She had almost forgotten the feeling. She was wanted, desired and it felt so good.

She could see how aroused he was. "Come on Zak. Get those things off," she growled.

He started, awakened from his mesmerised stare hastened to tear off his shirt, then his jeans and boxers. There he was for her, naked. There was not an ounce of fat on him. His chest was muscular, his abs well defined, his waist and hips tapered, and needless to say he was hard. She moved to him and again they kissed. Then they were in bed.

She discovered he was a good lover. He caressed, kissed, licked her all over, and then brought her to a first climax with his tongue, whereupon he covered her and she felt him pushing into her moistness. It was heavenly, that feeling of him filling her and pushing in and out. He went slowly at first until she began to moan again, when he speeded up and brought her off a second time before emptying himself into her. 

Later in the dark, she wondered, too late, about STDs. At least this time she did not have to worry about getting pregnant, she thought.

They became an item. She loved him more and more deeply. He was a simple man, in a dead-end job, but she didn't mind. After her university courses she would earn enough for both, and he would be able to enjoy his time with the band. Who knows? she thought, They might even make the big time.

For all that, she did not move into his flat; her previous betrayals had been so painful for her that she could not go so far as to depend totally on him, but she cleaned his place up and made it a home. 

She was so besotted that she did not mind that he did no housework, or washing up, or cooking, or washing or ironing. He needed the time to rehearse and play with the band. 

He made up for it in his bed with his wonderful loving. While he was out at gigs, work or at rehearsals she was able to get her university work done.

She stayed over with him often, but went back to Cheryl and Brian's when the pressure of her work got too strong, sometimes for weeks at a time. Zak didn't seem to mind. It did niggle her a little that he did not seem to miss her at all, but she brushed away any concern she had.

What did concern her was that Cheryl and Brian were cool towards Zak. They didn't try to put her off him, but it was clear they were not happy. There was only one occasion when Cheryl broached the subject.

"You do know what that band's like, Cassie, don't you?" she ventured. "They're pretty free with the women who follow them to gigs - and we remember Zak being as free with them as the others."

"Don't worry," said Cassie, a little miffed at Cheryl's intervention. "He's changed - he loves me now. I give him all he needs."

Well, thought Cheryl, I tried.

Cassie was completely certain of him and of their future. She was totally committed to him and her love for him was deepening al the time. 

It was just after exams at the end of second year, early May, when her world fell apart. 

Zak had a gig in the city centre, and this was to be followed by a party at the lead guitarist and singer's house. Cassie had an end of exams party, if that was what it could be called. In fact it was a session at her favourite pub, who had laid on sandwiches and pies. She left early with the thought that Zak's party would be a lot more fun.

She wandered in through the open door. There were plenty of people chatting and laughing, and there was music and dancing in the basement. She ranged around, nodding at people she recognised. Zak was nowhere to be found.

"Upstairs if you want to join in the fun!" laughed a young woman she did not know, but had seen her search. So she went up.

It was inevitable. She opened the door to the bedroom. There was a naked Zak assiduously pushing himself over and into an equally naked blonde girl. Cassie felt what thousands of betrayed partners have felt and continue to feel - that punch to the stomach, and the destruction of their hopes and dreams - but she was more devastated than most.

He had betrayed her. Lied. How often had he done this while she stayed at his flat studying? She knew Cheryl had been right, he was unable to be faithful, he wanted variety and those worshipping groupies in this bed.

Zak looked round and saw her. "Hi, Cassie!" he said, rather out of breath from his exertions, but he did not stop pumping into the blonde.

"Sod off, Zak." Cassie snarled. "We're finished. Don't ever come near me again."

Now unfortunately Zak was high on a mixture of cocaine and beer. "No loss!' he laughed. "July's better than you in the sack - with Zak!" and he laughed loudly at his simple rhyme, repeating it over and over. "Ha, ha! In the sack with Zak!"

The girl laughed as well, "Get lost darling!" she crowed. "Zak has a job to finish!"

Cassie rushed from the house in tears. She had given herself to him, loved him, looked after him. He had said he loved her, wanted only her and he had lied. She went back to Cheryl, and fell in the door, sobbing. 

Cheryl emerged from the kitchen, assessed the situation and did what girlfriends do in such circumstances. Brian did not see either of the girls again that night and sensitively slept alone in Cassie's bed, while she shared with Cheryl in theirs.

There followed a fortnight of stress and depression. Zak tried to contact her, but she ranted at him long enough for him to realise that he had lost the woman he really did love. 

He berated himself for his stupidity. True he had slept with a number of girls while Cassie and he were an item, true he had left her open to STDs, but he had thought they would make it together. Too late. He had underestimated her reaction to his lies and cheating, a reaction which he thought excessive. He was used to girls forgiving him, so certain was he of his magnetism and good looks.

Cassie spent the vacation partly back at the parental home down south, and partly buried in preparation for the following year's courses at Cheryl's and Brian's house. Brian had graduated, taken a good job in the centre of Manchester and was out all day during the week, giving Cheryl a chance to talk it through with Cassie. 

Cassie appreciated her efforts but nevertheless felt emptiness and sadness most of the time until, at the beginning of the Autumn term, Shona, a friend from her undergraduate course, told her she should go to the Crown Inn on Wednesdays where there was some live music. It might cheer her up. She went to the pub which turned out to be Cheryl's local, alone.

There was a group playing. Not loud, more in the background, but people were listening. She got her drink and sat to listen along with them.

Then a guy took a keyboard and began to sing. It was song of betrayal after commitment, and it spoke to her of her own experience, but it had a conclusion of hope and refusal to compromise on being open to another love. 

She ended with tears running down her cheeks, The singer was just an ordinary guy, handsome though, with a really good voice, but he had moved her deeply. She knew at that moment that she wanted to know him better and to ask him about the author of the song.

After the set was over she noted the singer had gone, so she approached one of the group's members.

"Hello," she said to a curvy blonde who was putting her guitar away. "The guy who sang that song-"

"Hey!" grinned the girl. "You know? Everyone knows what people are talking about when you say 'that song'. It gets people every time. My name's Vivienne, and he's Ged, short for Gerald Smith. He wrote the words and the tune, and yes, it did happen to him."

"I'm Cassie," smiled Cassie. "I'd like to talk with him. D'you think he'd mind?"

"Tell you what," Ben, another of the group, said, "He often goes to the Union bar on Mondays - early while the place is empty. Does some writing there. Try that, or come back here same time next week. I'll introduce you."

Cassie said her thanks and the following Monday found her entering the Union bar. There he was, with a half finished pint, completely immersed in what he was writing. She heard him curse and saw him begin a new page, annoyance showing on his face. She stood awhile and studied him.

She had not paid much attention to him physically in the pub, but now she did. He was a very fit, good looking guy. His sandy hair was quite long and thick. His face was quite long and his chin was strong. The cheekbones were high, forehead wide and his nose in perfect proportion. His hands were quite delicate and his fingers were long. 

She felt a tremor in her loins as she gazed at him. Here was a writer, a writer of poetry and a composer. He was sensitive to the range of emotions besetting the human condition. As a student of English Literature and Language she appreciated that deeply. 

She knew then that she wanted him; he was the man her life had been waiting for. She was going to try her utmost to get him, and she had not exchanged a single word with him yet! As has been pointed out, she was impetuous, some would say foolhardy.

However, after Zak she promised herself she was going to be very careful. She would not let him into her life quickly, but she would hope he could be her friend - at least at first. She would go slow. She would control the situation.

When she spoke to him and he looked up she saw surprise and amazement in his soft brown eyes. He just stared at her. She felt uncomfortable, uncertain. 

When he stammered his response as he gazed in awe at her, she knew then that he fancied her and it gave her real confidence and a deep buzz. She felt a sense of high elation and was therefore emboldened while being amazed at her dominance of the situation. She as much as told him to take her home - his home, and her cup overflowed when he agreed! Overflowed? Well, she did get at little damp down below!

She had almost told him to go out with her as well, and he had shown enthusiasm for the idea. Then the kiss. That was the moment she really knew; their future was together. He was so gentle and seemed to be able to put his whole soul into the kiss. Perhaps the song was right, it was 'in his kiss'!

Even so, had he tried to take her to bed at that moment, she told herself she would have stopped him. She was relieved that he wanted to take things slowly, that he wanted more than a trivial lustful encounter.

By the time she really had to go, she knew she was in love, and suspected he had fallen for her in his turn. All the more strange, she thought as she went home, as I don't believe in love at first sight!  

However, there was again that hollow feeling of fear about another broken relationship and another betrayal. Was this merely a rebound?

-- 

Chapter Three

After she went, Ged could not settle. He could not get over her beauty, and her obvious attraction to him which he could not for the life of him understand. He felt supremely happy - happy as he had not felt for many months. 

This girl was different from all the others, and so devastatingly beautiful! There was an instant rapport between them, and that kiss! He gave up any attempt to write, and sat in his room with a silly grin on his face. After all, she was... beautiful.

He made himself a makeshift meal and then could not stop himself from phoning her mobile. 

"Hello," she said, picking up.

"Hi!" he said. "I thought I'd phone." He stopped unsure what he was phoning for.

"That's nice," she said. "I got home safely."

"Oh, good!" he said, glad she had found a reason for him to phone.

"I'm glad we met," she said, sounding almost shy.

"Me too!" he averred, rather too enthusiastically.

From then the call meandered around how nice it was they'd met. He invited her to eat with him the next day, and then go for a drink and she happily agreed. He ensured she was not vegetarian, or had any particular dislikes, and she was impressed with his thoughtfulness, and said so.

So their first date was a meal he cooked at his house. He did a spaghetti dish with bacon, egg, cheese and herbs, and followed it with a microwaved treacle pudding with custard. Again she was impressed that not only could he cook, but that he was a very good cook, and again said so. After the meal they washed up together and then wandered gently hand in hand to his local pub for a couple of hours.

Then it was time to leave. 

"Where to?" he asked.

"I'd love a coffee," she said, smiling into his eyes. 

Thus they made their leisurely way back to his place. She slipped her arm round his waist and he laid his across her shoulder. 

When they reached the gate to his house, She couldn't stop herself: she pulled him to her and lifted her face very obviously for a kiss. It was long and intense, that kiss, and she was gratified to feel him pulling her strongly to him, reacting against her groin, as his hands fervently stroked her back. 

He couldn't believe how passionate she was. Her arms were round his neck, then raking through his hair, pushing her breasts hard against his chest and opening her body to him. He felt he was losing control of himself his desire consumed him totally.

Neither could she stop herself - she desperately needed him and his body. She wanted to melt into him. At that moment, her fears and reservations were gone: she wanted and yearned for no one else. So much for taking it slowly! flew across her mind and she giggled inwardly.

At last they broke and moved rapidly and with some purpose into the house and directly into his room. The door being shut, they faced each other. There were no words. Everything stopped as they stood face to face and stared.

Ged raised his eyebrows, and Cassie nodded. Wordlessly they had agreed that the long gradual development of their relationship was cancelled, replaced gladly by headlong lust. 

With a fluttering heart, Cassie took the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. Her bra was light yellow, translucent and pushed her breasts together, giving her an enticing cleavage. Now she realised why she had chosen it. She saw his gaze and knew he liked it. With a smile she nodded at his shirt and eagerly he followed her lead, leaving him naked to the waist. She took in his pretty pecs, six-pack and flat stomach, tight and well defined. 




Music Man Pt. 01



She wanted to show him, let him see her, want her body. She unfastened her skirt and pushed the zip down, freeing the garment to fall to her feet, when she daintily stepped out of it. The thong she wore was a match for the bra, and as he gazed at the junction of her thighs she knew he could see through the translucent fabric the thin landing strip almost visible as a shadow. She shivered with desire for him.

She nodded at his jeans, and again he followed her action with her skirt, unfastening and unzipping, pushing them down to his feet. He too stepped out of them. Exulting in her wide open eyes and the heedless passage of her tongue over her lips. This goddess wanted him! How could he be so lucky?

Meanwhile she stared at his legs. Oh, his legs! Those strong thick thighs, smooth knees and elegantly curved and muscular calves, and the tent in his boxers. Reassuring and enticing. He was ripped! What a specimen and he wanted her!

She lost any remnant of self-control and moved into his arms and kissed and nibbled his neck, running her fingers through his hair, and kissing down his chest, biting gently on his nipples so that he gasped. Then she turned her back and waited. He realised she what she wanted him to do. He flicked the bra strap loose expertly. He'd show her that this was no novice at this! He pushed the straps forward down her arms and she angled them so the bra fell to the floor. 

Brazenly she raised her arms and clasped them behind her head, arching her back, knowing he could see her perfect, solid, medium breasts in the wardrobe mirror, and the stretch defined them tightly. She exulted in her sensual beauty. 

A small sound escaped his lips as he now pressed his bare chest against her back and reached round her with both hands to fondle her, cupping the fulness and running his thumbs over her nipples as they stiffened and lengthened. 

She sucked in a breath, the muted sound coming from her as he kissed the back and side of her neck, under and over her ears while she shivered and squirmed with the intensity of what it was doing to her.

Her hands dropped and reached behind her to find his waist, pulling his length into the cleft of her behind. Suddenly she could not wait any longer. She spun round and rapidly pulled his boxers over his penis and pushed them down his legs, kneeling to remove them from his feet. His cock was at her mouth and she kissed him there, planting her affection along its length, and cupping his balls in her hand, fondling the rough elephant-skin and tracing over his perineum, as she sucked his length into her mouth. 

He gasped, the intensity overcoming him, as transiently he forgot who he was and where he was. Her worship of him filled him with desire to show her his adoration.

His hands went to her waist of their own accord, lifting her, feeling the coldness of the air on his cock as her mouth left him, hooking his thumbs over the sides of the wispy thong, pulling it out of the crease of her bottom and rapidly down to her knees, stroking her thighs as he went. She stood straight so that it fell away down her long slender legs. It flashed through his mind that he had never seen her legs before and how beautiful they were, encased as they were in sheer black thigh high stockings. Stockings! His hands grazed over her naked buttocks, exulting in their perfect solid rotundity. How silky soft they were! He couldn't get enough of the sensation of their velvet feel. 

She knew now she was half expecting this when she dressed to come to him. She loved his lustful eyes on her as again she pulled away, walked with an exaggerated sway to the bed, sat down on the side as he watched, and slowly lifted each leg high as she rolled the stockings off one at a time. She smiled at him, sultry and seductive, exulting in her sensuality. 

She backed herself onto the bed and he went to her, climbing onto it on all fours. She turned to him and pulled him down, pressing every part of her body against his, exulting in his weight upon her, the hairs on his legs tickling her smooth skin..

Her hand stroked his buns and she made a little noise in her throat as he flexed in response. He lifted off her, by her side, resting on one elbow, he went to cupped her sex firmly, his finger raking over her rosebud and traversing upwards along her crease and very firmly across her button causing her to tremble and twitch. 

She needed him then and rolling onto her back and spreading her legs wide, knees bent pulled him over her. She gently took hold of his cock and tightening her grip on him. She knew she was wet with anticipation, and she gazed at him, her eyes opened wide and her intense stare into his eyes told him to take her. She wanted him deep within her, wanted to be one with him.

He could not have stopped now even if he had wanted to. He wanted to be buried deep inside her. He raised himself over her, resting on straight arms and, still grasping his cock, she led him to her. 

He pushed so slowly into her tightness, feeling her accepting and accommodating him, slick and hot as her hands went to his hips, holding him. They both exhaled audibly as slow progress was made into her silken depths. He felt so hard to her, so deep, so strong.

She pulled him down onto her, wanting to feel his weight again and his chest flattening her breasts, and since their faces were now close, they kissed long and softly, tongues duelling, lips playing with each other, nipping chins and necks and grinning at each other. He was motionless, fully inside, stretching her, tight, so soft, so warm.

Her hands went to his bottom, and she was turned on further by the muscular hardness and turning her head, the sight of his perfect globes that she could see in the wardrobe mirror. She could not keep still any longer and made the slightest circular movement of her own hips beneath him. She wanted him to take her, to validate her as a woman, and to show he was hers, that he would always want her.

He read the movement and excruciatingly slowly began to pull until nearly out of her, before pushing in once more. She moaned, feeling and seeing the muscles of his buttocks tense and slacken, while he looked down past her delightful navel to see his cock disappearing once more into her. He did it again and looked. She gasped and looked. 

Very gradually he began to speed up his thrusts, and she encouraged him with upward movements of her hips. Soon he was making the bed shake, and she was answering his increasing violence with her own. They were not looking any more, except into each other's eyes.

Then he began to pant and guttural sounds came from her throat in time with his pounding, then her moans rose in pitch until she yelped as she trembled all over and pitched under him, totally lost in the sucking spasms of her resolution, her eyes rolling up into her head, darkness surrounding her and seeing stars.

He continued further while she gasped and moaned and twitched until she began to feel she could take no more, when with eyes tightly clenched and a wordless shout he came, grunting with each spasm, and losing his rhythm completely, until with a final deep thrust he collapsed onto her. Both were out of breath, gasping for air, and wet with sweat. 

Then they began to laugh quietly together. It was a laugh of success, if such a thing exists; it was also a laugh of love, a laugh of self-giving, of showing how their coupling committed each to the other. They had possessed each other, and been delighted to be possessed.

When they had calmed down, and he had slipped to her side, Cassie spoke. They were the first words spoken since they had kissed at the gate.

"You know what this means?"

"We fit?" Ged offered.

"You stretched me a little," she reposted with a sultry grin, gazing up into his eyes from beneath her eye-lashes. He felt proud.

"I mean we fit all over - in every way," he explained. "I'm sure we're made for each other."

"I won't argue with that." she said. They lapsed into silence, and idly played with each other's bodies. Both realised that they had agreed wordlessly to make love, and had agreed wordlessly to let their actions do the talking.

"We worshipped each other," he said at length.

"So I don't need to ask," she said.

"I hope I told you 'I love you more than anyone or anything.' " He averred.

"I don't know how it's possible, since we hardly know each other," she responded, "but I just know I want to be with you always. I didn't believe this could happen."

"We still need to get to know each other," he reflected.

"Yes," and she snuggled up to him.

"You staying tonight?"

"I've got a lecture at nine thirty," she said. "Can we get up early enough for me to go home and change?"

"So have I," he said, "and yes we can."

A frown crossed her face. "But Ged," she said earnestly, with a touch of fear, "Please don't let me down. I couldn't bear it if you left me; it would tear me apart."

"Believe me Cassie, my darling," he was just as earnest. "I will never leave you. There will never be anyone else - unless you leave me first."

She smiled her relief and so saying they rose and did the usual going to bed chores, and had returned to their bed before his housemates returned.

Next morning they were out of the house before the others rose.

So began their relationship. They were both highly motivated, and did not neglect their work, but met and slept together more than once a week. She learned that he was as dedicated to his music as he was to his physics, and she loved to listen when he sang with his friends, who were now her friends as well. He was in turn deeply impressed with her own poetry, which she had shyly shown him, and he set two of her poems to music.

They went to concerts and plays together, partly because they enjoyed them, but also because it was part of Cassie's life and her degree study. They went hiking, something new to Cassie, who took to it happily because Ged liked it, and she grew to love it herself. 

Cassie nagged him to contract to an agent with his songs and this proved profitable. Catherine Styles, an American who had become internationally known, had been impressed with two of his songs, and he was commissioned to write more for her. A few groups picked up on other songs of his. He was becoming known by his pen name: Alex Murphy.

He had done as she said and had asked Gus Mettleson, an old school friend, to act as his agent.

At parties, she was surprised that Ged did not seem to mind other guys hitting on her. She danced with some of them, without becoming in any way intimate with her dance partners. It was not that Ged was a poor dancer, but usually he was deep in conversation with other musicians, or actually playing. She asked him about it and he said he trusted her totally. 

She was not so impervious to the girls who made a play for Ged. She bristled when a girl placed her hand on his arm when flirting with him. However he showed no signs of succumbing to their charms, some of which were formidable and very nearly fully on display. 

She made her only real mistake when he had got Vivienne out of a financial hole, and in her gratitude Viv found him at a party and hugged and kissed him and he held her as she wept with relief.

Cassie strode up and pulled Viv off him. "Get your own man," she snarled before realising who it was who had had her face buried in Ged's shoulder. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry Viv," she begged, as she saw the girl's tears. "I didn't realise."

"No you didn't," snapped Ged. "You don't trust me. We need to talk."

Viv was more forgiving. "It's OK, Cassie. You're right to fight for him, he's worth it."

It was uncomfortable for Cassie, as Ged took her up to a bedroom and sat her down.

"Well?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I get jealous, I'm afraid I'll lose you."

"Don't you trust me?" he asked.

"Of course I trust you!" she asserted.

"Funny way of showing it," he grumbled. "Listen. I make you a solemn promise. I will not have any dealings with any other woman until or unless we have already finished, which as far as I am concerned will be never. 

"I will never cheat on you, as I trust you will never cheat on me. In return I want you to promise me solemnly always to talk to me before you decide to take any action concerning us and our relationship. Can you do that?"

"Yes," she was definite. "I can do that. I promise I'll always talk to you before reacting."

It was a defining moment and seemed to seal their relationship. Each felt that trust, and were relaxed about each other's faithfulness. For the first time in many years she really felt free of worry about the man in her life. He was intense and solid in his resolution.

So the academic year passed quickly and they were supremely happy together.

At Christmas they separated to go to their respective parents, but returned before New Year to spend it together.

At Easter, she invited him to meet her parents. Ged hit it off immediately with both parents, and was surprised when they put their daughter and him in the same room - indeed in the same bed (there being only one in the room). 

He was not so surprised at the knowing smirk of Marie, Cassie's younger sister, who flirted unmercifully with him. Hugging him and sitting on his knee, telling her bristling older sister that she had a right to show her love for her 'brother'!

Then they stayed with his parents for a couple of days, who were impressed with the delightful and assertive young woman their son brought home, and were relieved to see how relaxed the young couple were with each other. His mother asked him how serious they were and on hearing his response, put them in the same room as well. 

The month following found them both revising for finals, and after Cassie's last exam they went out to a restaurant to celebrate. There would be parties in both their departments and among their circle of friends, but they needed and wanted to re-connect after the intensity of the exam period.

Afterwards they went back to Ged's place, stripped off hurriedly and got into bed, or rather onto it, since the evening was warm and humid. It was good to make love again, to feel their bodies intertwined. 

"God, your cock feels so good!" exclaimed Cassie as Ged moved in her at a measured pace, prolonging the sensations and delaying an orgasm to them both. She raised and lowered her hips beneath him, making his strokes longer and reaching deeper within her.

"Your pussy is so tight!" he responded. "You're milking me!"

They rolled over so Cassie could be on top, and she continued to rise and fall, his penetration even deeper as she sat up vertically and looked down on him with love, her breasts gently bouncing with her exertions.

Then, "Oh God!" she groaned, "I'm getting close!" She speeded up her action until she was heedlessly bouncing at speed, her breasts now shaking violently up and down, rubbing herself on his root.

The sight was a turn on for Ged, who approached his own climax as hers hit. It was good to hear the wordless grunts, squeals and cries forced from her, as she alternately screwed up her eyes and opened them wide to gaze on the man who was causing her such rapture. It was that look of wonder which provoked his own orgasm, and he emitted his own involuntary sounds forced by the intensity of it, feeling the semen pulsing out of the end of his cock.

She collapsed then, rolled off him and lay cuddled up to his side, her arm across his chest, both of them breathing heavily.

"After all our time together," gasped Ged, "I still can't believe how lucky I am to be in love with someone so beautiful."

"I'm lucky to have such a skilful and ardent lover," she breathed. "You're the best."

A silence followed, while their breathing returned to normal.

"You put in your application for your masters yet?" he asked, absently stroking a breast.

"Yes. I need a 2:1."

"That's easy for you," he said. It was not flattery, but the simple truth. "You'll walk a first."

A pause then, "You know that job I applied for?" he asked.

"Yeah?" she replied. "You heard!"

"Got it!" he crowed. "Subject to a 2:2, which I know I've got."

Cassie sat up and bounced with happiness. "Wonderful!" she cried. He thought the sight of her tits bouncing in time was equally wonderful.

"I know how you hate making love in this flat, with the other blokes in earshot, or listening to the lads banging their latest woman," he said, "and the same applies to your place. It doesn't help to hear the Cheryl giggling when we make a noise. I can afford a flat of my own easily on the money I'm going to get. Shall we move in together?"

"I think we're ready to make that move," she said. "I was rather hoping we'd do that. Yes, my darling. Let's give it a try. We can split the bills."

"Cassie, my love," he ventured, for he knew he was in for a fight, "I'll be earning a lot, and I'm getting more than I expected from the performing rights on the songs Gus has promoted. Why don't you concentrate on paying for your courses. I can cover all our costs."

There was indeed an argument.

"I'm sorry," Cassie asserted. "I don't want to be a kept woman. I want to pay my way."

"When you start earning," he reposted, "You can pay all you want then, but not now - you'll just get into horrific debt. Listen. If I got the flat on my own, I'd be paying all the bills, and all the food. So just let me do that."

She thought about it, then, "We go halves on food though."

"OK," he answered with some relief, feeling he had got away with it. "It's a deal."

--

Chapter Four

Cassie and Ged both graduated with First Class Honours Degrees and celebrated with their families and friends at their graduation.

Cassie's younger siblings, brother Mike and sister Marie came for the degree ceremony along with her parents. The family, with Ged included, celebrated afterwards with a meal at the hotel at which the family were staying.

Two days later, Cassie and Ged celebrated with his parents at his favourite restaurant in Chinatown. He was an only child and thus there was no one else.

Cheryl and Brian threw a party for them and for Cheryl who had graduated with a Second Class Upper Division, known as a 2:1. The house was packed with people, many of whom had also graduated. 

The house had three bedrooms on the first floor and two attic rooms on the second, also had cellars which Brian had made into a pair of interconnecting rooms. The bedrooms were locked. The ground floor was full of people circulating and talking, and the cellars had music for dancing.

As usual Ged got into deep discussions with Vivienne, Fred, Ben and Hetty from his song group and Cassie smiled. He was so predictable; once turned to the subject of music, he was lost to her. She did not mind, for it was exactly this characteristic which led to his best songs. She could hear the music from below and loved to dance, so she descended in the hope of finding a partner.

She met Wendy, another of her English group, and the two took to the floor. It was after the third dance, all of them fast, that a slow song came on, and someone tapped Cassie on the shoulder, and asked to cut in. With a start, she recognised the voice. It was Zak. He took her in his arms and was pulling her closer, but she pushed him away.

They danced to the slow song at arm's length.

"I miss you," mumbled Zak plaintively. "Any chance...?"

"Sorry Zak," she said. "You blew it. She wasn't the only one, was she?"

He had the grace to look guilty. 

"I've learned my lesson, Cassie," he said. "I don't do that sort of thing any more. Wouldn't you give me a chance to prove it?"

"You're too late," she said. "I'm with someone else now - have been for a year. We're moving in together this summer. So no."




Music Man Pt. 01



"We were good together," he said.

"Not good enough," she said. "I think I'll go back upstairs. Goodbye, Zak."

"A kiss before I go?" he asked.

She was tempted, very tempted. He was a good kisser and a wonderful lover, though Ged was just as skilful and much more loving and considerate. Ged was already her soulmate as Zak had never been. She realised that she had spent her relationship with Zak desperately trying to keep his interest in her. With Ged, she was comfortable and relaxed. No comparison.

"No, Zak," she said. "Kisses are for friends, and that's something we'll never be now." 

With that she broke from him and returned to Ged and the group, with whom she stayed for the rest of the night. She did not see Zak watching from the doorway to the room. He was angry and jealous, as she saw his ex-girl cuddling up to another man.

Later, much later, Cassie and Ged made their way from Cheryl's house to his shared house. She was preoccupied and it showed.

Notwithstanding Cassie's dismissal of Zak, she nevertheless couldn't help coming back to their dance in her mind. There was still that attraction. It was a basic, animal thing, a biological urge; Zak was a good mating partner, and she was physically strongly attracted to him even now. It was her body pushing her at a very primitive biological level to have children by him.

However, the hurt of what he had done and said when in that blonde's arms, and his infidelity had left a deep emotional scar, and it was at that level than she was able to repulse him. She would not let him hurt her again.

Then there was Ged, and she was by now so deeply in love with him, so much a part of him and he of her that there was never going to be any rival to him in her affections. He filled every one of her needs; he was sensitive, creative, thoughtful and always self-giving. 

Ged broke into her thoughts.

"Cassie, darling," he said tenderly, "Is there a problem? You seem preoccupied. Something upset you?"

He was so perceptive and she felt fear. How could she tell him? 

"Nothing really." she said, deciding to come clean. She must not hide anything from him. "I went down to dance - you were buried with the group as usual," she laughed briefly. "I was dancing when an ex-boyfriend cut in and danced with me. Wanted me to go back to him. I told him I was spoken for, and he pleaded with me. It unsettled me, that's all."

"You OK now?" he asked solicitously.

"Yeah," she said with as much conviction as she could muster. "It was the suddenness of it; took me by surprise. We were very close once and I felt bad putting him down."

"He the one who cheated on you?" 

"Yeah. It broke me up at the time, but you came along and everything's so much better than ever it was with him. I'm a very lucky girl." She squeezed his hand, and he put his arm round her, hugging her close as they walked. It broke her mood and she once more felt at ease.

So the vacation began with flat hunting. Ged had started work, and so Cassie was the one to do the searching. She visited flat after flat, all fully furnished, but nothing took her fancy. Ged left it to her. She knew what they needed, and she discussed it with him each evening.

Then she saw a flat for sale in an estate agent's window. It looked good but was unfurnished and was not for rent, which was really what they were looking for. She made an appointment and viewed it. It was perfect. It was close enough for her to walk or cycle to university, and on a direct bus route to his work, which meant he could leave his recently acquired used car at home.

She took Ged to see it and he agreed it was exactly right. There followed a search for a mortgage. Thankfully he had saved all his royalties and they came to a quarter of the price of the flat, so he had a sizeable deposit. He was careful to make the deposit as small as he could, realising that the flat would need to be furnished.

Ged had to buy the flat in his name since Cassie was not earning, but Cassie saw no problem with that. Once they had possession, there were more weeks having fun furnishing the place as cheaply as possible, consistent with a certain aesthetic quality. By the middle of August the kingsize bed had been delivered and the flat was fully furnished. They moved in.

Ged set up current accounts. Into the first, in his name, he paid enough from his royalties to cover the mortgage and utilities with some left over, and the second, a joint account into which went his salary and Cassie's contribution for everyday expenses.

They Christened the flat by having sex in every room, how else? They did it with him standing in the kitchen as she sat back on the worktop with legs over his shoulders,. They did it with her lying flat on the dining room table and on the rug in the living room, on the bed, taking her from behind in the office-cum-music room, which they thought an apt name! Then they coupled in the shower and also the bath of the large bathroom, and finally leaning against the wall in the narrow hallway.

Then there was the flat-warming party. Numbers were limited because of its size, and it took the form of a ceilidh. The music group was there, and played one of Ged's latest love songs dedicated to Cassie. She read one of her own poems - to Ged of course. Others gave humorous monologues, or sang songs. The two of them had cleared a space so a little dancing could take place, but it was very cramped, causing a lot of merriment and inappropriate touching.

Cassie saw to it, without Ged's knowledge, that Zak did not attend, though she had heard he was asking about the party. Obtusely, Brian had invited Joshua, the leader of the band of which Zak was a member, called 'Furtive Glance', or 'furtive grope' as many called it, in view of the band's promiscuity. 

Joshua played a quiet song of his own, totally out of character as far as his band were concerned. Then he watched Ged carefully, noting his expertise and flair with the electronic equipment, and appreciating the strength of his poetry and his genius at composing. That appreciation was to change their lives.

Once the party was over, the lives of Ged and Cassie settled down. Both were deliriously happy with each other and their lives. Cassie needed to travel from time to time in furtherance of her master's degree, and Ged's little group made an album privately which had a good, if limited reception, though it was in a specialist grouping somewhere between folk and country, but with up-tempo songs as well. 

Ged was commissioned to write more songs for Catherine Styles, and two of them made one of the top ten charts in the USA. Others of his songs were picked up by Gus who found them homes with various artists, and the royalties kept coming in, starting with a trickle and ending as a flow into a dedicated bank account, from which he fed the mortgage account by Standing Order.

They spent Christmas Day with Cassie's family. There was a piano in the living room and Ged played carols and other Christmas songs for the family to sing, something they had never done before and which they thoroughly enjoyed. 

"Cassie, why don't you-?" Cassie's mother began to say, but Cassie violently shook her head.

"What?" asked Ged. 

"Cassie plays the piano," said Cassie's mother proudly. "I wondered if-"

"No, mother," said Cassie. "Ged's the professional here. He can play really well. I'm out of practice and anyway I don't want to."

Ged cocked a eyebrow and mentally resolved to ask her about her playing some other time. The festivities intervened and he eventually forgot about it. To his knowledge she had never played on his keyboards at home, though in fact she often played when he was not at home; never when he was there. 

For some reason she could not fathom, she felt embarrassed about it. She had reached Grade Eight, a high standard. She only played classical pieces.

The next day they travelled to Ged's parents, and spent a day walking in the hills and through the Macclesfield forest, before going back to a massive spread of meats and cheeses. Uncles and Aunts appeared and Ged's cousins, and after urgent requests from the assembled extended family, there was a repeat of the Christmas songs and carols.

New Year was seen in with Cheryl and Brian at their party. Cheryl was now pregnant and had that bloom of health. Cassie was worried that Zak might be at the party, but 'Furtive Glance' were on tour and her fears were groundless.

So Winter passed and Spring arrived, and with it a growing unease on Ged's part about his job. It paid very well indeed, but it demanded none of the creativity he was promised; the work turned out to be dull and quite repetitive. He stuck with it, though more and more it was his music that dominated his life. 

Summer arrived in its turn, and with it the festival season. Ged had saved his holiday entitlement and organised his days off to coincide with a number of folk festivals. 

Cassie was enthusiastic about their impending nomadic lifestyle. She had been confined to the flat for months writing her thesis, and wanted some fresh air. She was going to submit in the autumn. They hired a camper van and toured the festivals. Other members of Viv's little folk group joined them from time to time, and they performed at a number of venues. 

It was the beginning of September, the Thursday after the August Bank holiday, and they had only returned home for the final time two days before, when the phone rang. Cassie was once again deep into final revision of her thesis or she might have answered the phone, and if she had, things might have turned out differently, but she didn't. 

-- 

Chapter Five

After their summer touring the festivals, life for Cassie and Ged had been idyllic, until that day when Ged answered the phone.

"That Ged Smith?" came the voice.

"Yeah," he answered, "Who's speaking?"

"You might remember me," came the voice. "Joshua Gittins - I came to your house-warming."

"You sang 'Lost you,' if I remember," Ged replied.

"God, you've got a memory!" Joshua said, surprised. "Anyway, you know I lead this band - Furtive Glance?"

"Yeah," said Ged, admiringly. "You've really taken off since Christmas - never out of the news, TV, stuff played all the time on the radio - you're on tour at the moment aren't you?"

"That's what I'm calling about. Brian gave me your number. You got a fortnight to spare?"

"No, sorry. Just taken all my holiday entitlement touring the festivals. Back at work on Monday."

"Bugger!" Joshua swore. "We really need you. We're in Oldham."

"Oldham? It's not that bad surely. Now Wigan - I believe they eat their dead - in pies!"

"Ha ha!" came the sarcastic response. "We've lost a keyboard player."

"Careless!" quipped Ged.

"For God's sake Ged, this is serious!" Joshua sounded desperate. "The poor bugger got knocked over by a drunk driver. Mind you he wasn't exactly sober himself; the band took him out for a drink or two. He's in hospital, and we've got a gig tonight."

"I didn't know you had a keyboard player in the band?" queried Ged, interested,

"Ged, please!" Joshua pleaded. "When you played at the ceilidh I knew you were something special. I saw you on TV at the Knockchurch festival as well. I'm asking you to come and play for us tonight - rehearse this afternoon? There's another gig at the same place tomorrow. Can you do that for us? We're desperate!"

Ged thought. Cassie was buried in her books and was going to be that way for the next few days. 

"OK," he said. "Where is it? I'll bring my own stuff."

Joshua gushed his thanks, gave directions and rang off, and Ged went to the study to tell Cassie and get his keyboards and synth. into the car.

"Got a gig," he said, as he collected the wiring and stowed it in his case. "Tonight and tomorrow night in Oldham. Filling in for some bloke who had a road accident."

"Fine," she said absently. "Take your keys."

He loaded up, then came back and kissed her. She kissed him back with her full attention, and then returned to her thesis.

-- 

Chapter Six

As previously mentioned, Furtive Glance was a band. It had four members plus a session keyboard player when required. Joshua was the singer and played rhythm guitar; Peter Thompson played guitar; Amos Sudbury was the drummer and Zak Copthorne was bass guitarist and could play keyboards when necessary, though not very well. They were thus a fairly conventional rock band. They played loud heavy rock, and pranced about the stage half-dressed a good deal, though recently they had added a few pieces which were more reflective, as bands tend to do as they become better known. 

They had been a part-time band like many others, playing in pubs and clubs round the Manchester area. Manchester is a large city and there were plenty of venues in the Greater Manchester area to play in. Most groups never make the big time, but some are lucky and are in the right place with the right material at the right time.

It happened to Furtive Glance. They made a breakthrough. It was a more reflective piece written by Joshua, and it took the music world by storm. In fact the tune and its rhythm was one Joshua had heard Ged playing at the house-warming, though Ged had played it even more quietly and his own, different words. 

Joshua wrote the words for the song some months later and did not remember where the tune came from, thinking he had made it up himself. It often happens that way; a tune comes into the head and it is because it has been heard before, rather than because it's an original inspiration.

What he didn't realise was that Ged had written it and had already copyrighted it, and when Ged arrived at the venue for the rehearsal, he recognised it. He let it go, for the time being. 

He was introduced to the band by Joshua, who, in spite of knowing Cassie was Zak's ex-girlfriend, amazingly had not made the connection between Cassie and Ged at the flat warming party. In any case, Zak had not said anything about seeing her at the earlier party. 

Thus Ged found the members of the band seemed to have different built-in attitudes to him. He seemed to get on with Peter immediately, but sensed acute hostility from Zak and to lesser extent from Amos.

"Don't see we need a keyboard player," Zak grumbled in Ged's presence. "I can do it."

"Don't be fucking stupid," retorted Peter. "Those four pieces need Bass Guitar and Keyboards. You can't do both at the same time."

"Well, leave the fucking keyboards out," Zak snarled.

"Don't be a wanker," Joshua intervened. "You know those pieces need the keyboard."

"We don't even know if he can play," said Amos, coming to Zak's aid. They had always been mates, had Zak and Amos.

"Oh, he can play," said Joshua. "Ged, get set up and we'll get started."

"He hasn't learned the pieces yet!" crowed Zak.

"Got the sheet music?" Ged asked, refusing to be intimidated. Amos shoved a pile of paper to him. There. How long till you can play them? Two hours? We might as well go to the pub."

"I'll sight-read," Ged said, and the two mates fell about laughing, until of course he began to play. They ran through the playlist and Ged played along. Amos and Zak were not laughing when they finished.

"Where d'you learn to do that?" asked Amos.

"I practised!" said Ged grimly. "Four hours a day for four years. I'm a qualified musician. Now I'd like to do all the pieces all over again."

The others groaned, but Joshua smiled. He thought he knew what was going on, and he was right. He knew what the band played was not Ged's style at all, but this man was a professional, and he was going to surprise them, which he did. It was not extravagant but he began embellish his part to better accommodate his playing to theirs and as a result it sounded much better; better in fact than it ever had been.

"Wish we had you when we did the album," said Peter. Amos and Zak said nothing. Joshua smiled.

The gig went well. Very well. Ged drove home. Cassie was asleep.

The next morning at breakfast, Cassie spoke. "Good gig?"

"Yeah, once I'd played through the list it was fine. Funny bunch of misfits though. Josh was the only sane one there. Oh, Peter was OK, but the other two - weird!"

Cassie looked up, there was a look of surprise on her face. 

"Not Furtive Glance?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, surprised. "You remember, Joshua came to our housewarming?"

Cassie now felt real fear, though she did not know why. She had finished with Zak long since, hadn't she? However, she also knew the members of the band, and the stories that came back were not pleasant. 

The band were self-obsessed and selfish to a degree. There were always rows, arguments, sometimes physical fights. They were in the business for money, fame and sex with enamoured young women who followed the group round. 

She remembered watching from the hallway of Zak's place while they laughed and made snide comments as they watched the explicit videos they took of them having sex with young women who didn't realise they were being filmed. 

Not that the women were unwilling. Most were already completely promiscuous and were passed around the band. To be fair to Zak, she thought, he gave that up when he was going with her - until the blonde, that is. However now she was beginning to wonder if he'd ever been faithful at all. She doubted it somehow.

She became aware of Ged calling her name.

"Cassie, darling, what's the matter? You look frightened to death."

"Ged," she said earnestly, "Please don't get involved with that bunch of slime balls. I know them, and they are the lowest of the low. Some of the things they do are illegal - drugs, booze and girls."

"It's only two nights," he temporised. "I'm just helping Joshua out. I just play keyboards, that's all. "

"I'm not happy," she asserted strongly. "I wish you'd cancel tonight."

"Come on Cassie," he cajoled. "I promised Josh tonight. I can't break it, they would really be in the shit. I promise I'll come straight home."

The rest of the day they were awkward with each other. He left after a perfunctory kiss from Cassie. Neither of them felt good after he went. 

Cassie was wondering if Zak might say something to Ged; she suspected Zak knew Ged was her partner. Ged wondered why she reacted so violently. Was there something she was not telling him? It was the first minor fissure in their relationship.

The second gig went even better than the first, as Ged was able to develop his sensitivity to what the band were doing even further. The local press were there and the following week there was plenty about the new keyboard man. Ged finished playing and packed away his stuff. Joshua's manager, agent and lawyer Leo Bernstein, came to him and offered him a thousand pounds for the two gigs.

"You saved our lives," he said. "Any chance you could swing the next fortnight? I can make it worth your while."

"Sorry, Leo," Ged replied. "You couldn't pay me enough to allow me to throw away a permanent and very well paid job."

"You know this band's going to last? They're selling all over the world now - downloads, CDs, DVDs, all their gigs are sold out. Give it some thought - It's possible you could be permanent member of the band. There's a European tour in the offing - it'd bring in a pile of cash for you. Think about it?"

"OK," said Ged. "I don't think my girlfriend will like it, but I will think about it. Just to be clear, you're offering the possibility of joining the band? "

"Subject to the band agreeing."

"There's two members who don't want me for a start."

"I'll talk to them. They'd be fools to pass up someone of your calibre."

"OK," Ged concluded. "You talk to the band; I'll talk to my girlfriend."

Once again Ged drove straight back from Oldham, and arrived home shortly after midnight. Cassie was still working. She looked up as he entered the room.




Music Man Pt. 01



"How did it go?" she asked. 

Ged was happy that she had seemingly got over her annoyance, "Very well," he replied. "Better than last night. The manager gave me a thousand for doing it."

"A thousand!" she cried, with a huge smile. "For two nights' work? You ought to do it full time!"

"It looks like I could," he said quietly, fearing the reaction. He was right.

"What?" All the exhilaration had gone from her voice.

"Their manager offered me a permanent position with the band, subject to the band members agreeing." 

"You're not going to do it, surely?" Her face had clouded with worry and a touch of anger. "You know how I feel about that bunch."

"Look, Cassie," he soothed. "It's too late to discuss it now. You're very tired and I'm dead beat as well. Saturday tomorrow. We'll have all day to think about it calmly. In any case, half the band don't like me, so it may never even be offered."

"Don't think you can talk me round on this one, Ged," she spat. "This idea is not going anywhere."

Ged was annoyed. "At least have the courtesy and consideration of seeing what the pros and cons are. I have an open mind about it, I thought you might have as well."

"Look, Ged," she said. "You don't know them as well as I do. They are no good; they have the morals of sewer rats."

"I'm going to bed," snapped Ged. "This discussion is over until tomorrow."

She did not come to bed after him, and he lay with their argument going round in his head. As he began to be drowsy, a half thought passed through his mind. How did she know the band so well? But he fell asleep immediately afterwards.

Ged awoke next morning to find the bed empty, though warm, so she had been to bed the night before. He rose, showered, dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen. Cassie was sitting at the kitchen table, fully dressed, with a mug of tea.

"OK," she said staring at him. "Talk."

"Good morning, Darling," he said sarcastically. "Did you sleep well Darling? Would you like a cup of tea Darling? Isn't it a beautiful morning Darling?" with which he sat down.

"OK, OK!" she said with the hint of a smile. "Sorry! Let me get you some tea," and she rose, poured him a mug and returned to the table to sit across from him.

"It's Saturday, Cassie," he reproached her gently. "We usually have a lie in together. We make love."

She coloured and dropped her eyes. "I've got to get on with my thesis; it's got to be at the binders by Friday."

"Well," he said, "Have you had any breakfast?"

"No," she said, glancing up at him.

"OK, you get to work and I'll toast you a bagel and bring you some coffee." He suggested it to put her on the spot and he succeeded.

"I waited to discuss this business of the Band."

"If you hadn't time for a kiss and a cuddle this morning, you haven't time for a discussion about our future. Go and do your work." Now he was pushing her.

"But-"

"Later," he said. "Get something done, and we'll talk when you need a break."

She shrugged and left the room. She was upset now. She awoke early in a foul mood, full of anger and recrimination against Ged and his news about the band. She knew it was cuddle day, but deliberately left the bed quietly, dressed and went down to think. 

Her mood was no better when he arrived, but he took the wind out of her sails, and she had no answer for him. She had been remote from him and he had responded by being her loving boyfriend. 

In the hallway, she stopped and then turned and went back.

He was still sitting at the table. She went to him and stood behind his chair, putting her arms round him and kissing his hair. 

"I'm sorry!" she said, and this time there was genuine sorrow in her voice. "I was in a foul mood this morning, and I don't know why, except my period's due."

He pushed the chair back, and pulled her round to sit on his lap. "That's OK," he said. "We have the rest of our lives to make love. You take care of that thesis, and we'll talk at lunchtime." 

She kissed him passionately on his lips. "I don't mind coming back to bed," she said breathlessly.

"No. We're both dressed now, go and get your work done. I'll make you a light breakfast." He was aware he sounded like a fussy parent.

She loved him for that. She was lucky to have him, she knew, though it did not take away her fears about Furtive Glance. She had the feeling that his involvement would lead to trouble, but she got up and did what she was told, and he brought her a boiled egg and toast cut into soldiers, with a cup of coffee, and ate his in the office with her.

She found it difficult to concentrate, and after a couple of chapters, she went in search of him. He was writing a song at the kitchen table.

"It's no use, Ged," she said. "I can't settle to my work with this hanging over us. Let's talk."

They went to the living room and sat together. 

"Kiss me!" said Ged. "I need to know you love me before we start. I think we're going to disagree."

She kissed him voraciously, and he kissed her back with equal abandon. When they emerged, they smiled. 

"Let me say something, my love," she opened. He nodded. 

"Before I met you," she began hesitantly, "I dated one of the band."

Ged blinked and suddenly everything became clear. "Don't tell me, you went out with Zak Copthorne."

She looked surprised. "How did you know?"

"He hated my guts from the moment I walked in the room. No one hates that much on sight! Not when you're doing them a favour. So you knew the band through him?"

"Yeah. I watched them. Ged, they are animals. They're nasty to their fans, they picked up girls - in groups, for sex. It put me right off them as a band."

"But Zak must have been different."

"He assured me that after he knew me there were no other women. I believed him, fool that I was. I found him in bed with a blonde woman at a party at the end of second year. That finished me for him. He hasn't changed at all. 

"I'm worried that if you get involved with that lot, you'll end up behaving like them. It's what sells the band. That's why I'm worried. OK? Now you." 

"Cassie, my love," he spoke to her, looking into her eyes. "While you've been working this morning, I've been thinking. I think I've got my thoughts in order.

"I'm not happy with my job. They led me to think there would be creative work, something to stretch me. It's not like that. They lied. It's narrow, constricting and frankly utterly boring. The money is the only attraction."

She was surprised. She had no idea that he was dissatisfied. 

"I am beginning to think that I want to devote my time to composing and writing music and lyrics. From the take-up on what I've written, I am writing stuff that means something, and that people want."

"That's true," she added. He grinned at her, and kissed her again.

"Well, there is not enough yet from my writing to keep us, or pay the mortgage or the bills. That's where Furtive Glance comes in. If they want me, I could join them. 

"Gus and I know how to negotiate a deal. I could come away with a fifth of everything the band makes. I'm talking upwards of a million pounds. I've already improved their sound, and their manager definitely wants me."

Cassie was stony faced, but said nothing.

Ged went on, trying to convince her. "Look, all I have to do is go to their rehearsals and play at their gigs. I don't have to get involved with their activities apart from that. I've got you - I don't need their parties or their women, but I do need their money."

"So you mind is made up," she said angrily. "You're not considering me or my feelings or fears."

"Don't be silly, Cassie," he retorted, "of course I'm thinking of you. Look. Say you had all the money you would ever need for the rest of your life. What would you do? Stay in whatever job you had? Or write that novel you've been talking about. You could become a best-selling author. What about a book of your poetry? We have that possibility now."

"You realise you'll be away for weeks at a time?" she answered. "You know they say bands grow like each other, they adopt the same outlook. I'm worried that this is the end of us, Ged."

"So you want me to give up the chance of following my dream? OK. I'll do it. I love you too much. I'll carry on at my job. I'll carry on with my writing in my spare time. It's no problem and the more I write at home, the more money comes in. Eventually I'll be able to chuck the job in."

Silence. She knew perfectly well at that moment that he was gently blackmailing her, but in any case she couldn't do it. She couldn't let him pass up the chance of a lifetime. She knew clearly at that point that his future lay with music, one way or another. She wondered for a moment if his music came before her.

"No, my love," she said quietly. "You must take this chance. Only try to remember me when you're lost in your music. I'm afraid for us and our future, but you've got to do it."

"How could I forget you?" he answered. "Trust me, darling. I won't let you down. How could I? You're everything to me. And now, we missed our morning cuddle. Beat you to the bedroom!"

They raced for the bedroom, she pulling him out of the way, so she reached the bed first. They wrestled, and tickled, and eventually struggled out of their clothes.

-- 

Chapter Seven

On Monday morning, Ged saw his line manager at work and asked for unpaid leave for two more weeks. He cited an emergency, and the manager, who knew there was little work outstanding, granted his request.

Then he contacted Gus and told him of the developments during the previous week. Gus was interested and the two met for an hour before Gus phoned Leo and told him Ged was available for the last fortnight of the tour.

Leo was delighted, until Ged requested a meeting about the future, and asked him about the band's response to his joining the band. Leo knew there would be trouble, but agreed to the meeting.

After the Oldham gig, the band was taking a breather at their homes, and so it was easy to convene a meeting in a central city hotel. The band were surprised that Ged had his own agent, being unaware of his success as a writer.

"OK," Ged said, opening the meeting. "Josh phoned me and asked me if I had a fortnight free, because you lost your keyboard player. I'd already taken my holiday allowance from work, and so all I could manage was last weekend.

"After the two gigs, Leo asked me to consider, subject to the band agreeing, joining you for the next fortnight if I could get unpaid leave. It turns out that I can get unpaid leave of absence for the next fortnight. 

"Now it's no skin off my nose if you decide you don't need or want me; I've got plenty to occupy my time, and I can go back to work and earn two weeks' salary, but if you do want me, you have to make up my lost earnings."

He sat back. The arguments began. 

"Don't see why we need a keyboard, anyway," said Zak, gaining only half a nod from Amos, who had seen a big improvement in the band since Ged was playing, but wanted to be loyal to his best mate.

"Anyone with half an ear can hear the difference the keyboard makes, especially in the hands of Ged, and not just in those four pieces." asserted Joshua. "We've got more scope for a wider set of pieces. I want him in here."

"He's right Zak," added Peter. "It's a better sound. You know about this stuff, Leo, what d'you think?"

"I think Josh and Pete are right," the manager said with some diffidence, "but it's not my call - you have to live with each other. If it were me, I'd be looking to sign Ged up full time."

"Come on Amos," said Joshua, turning to Amos, who had been silent. "What do you think?"

"We could do without keyboards," he said judiciously, "but Josh is right about the sound - we do have more variety. And those four pieces - they don't sound right without the keyboard."

Zak shrugged and the others took that to be acquiescence. 

"OK," said Leo, "How about we give you session money for the fortnight?"

"How about you cover my lost salary?" asked Ged. 

"You have the figures?" asked Leo.

Ged passed him the sheet and a pay slip.

"Bloody Hell!," muttered Leo. "Is that what you earn?"

"That's right."

"I don't think we can match it," said Leo blandly.

"Fine," said Ged. "As I said, I don't need this. I'm quite happy at work." It was a lie, but this was negotiation.

Joshua looked at the figures. "Pay him," he said to Leo. "We'll take a cut."

"No we fucking won't!" Zak snapped. "I'm not giving up a penny. The rest of you can if you want."

"You fucking selfish cunt," shouted Peter. "You'll get ten times what he'll get for the next three gigs. We all share the cost. You just hate Ged. That's what it is! You bastard! You'd damage the band just to keep him out!"

"Shut the fuck up!" shouted Zak. "I'll go along with it this once, but after the two weeks, that's it! No more!"

Ged and Gus sat still, wondering if there would be a fight. As it cooled down, the contract was signed by all five and Ged was a temporary band member.

When he got home, he showed Cassie what the two week trip involved. There were two nights in Birmingham on Thursday and Friday, with practices Tuesday and Wednesday for an hour each time. Then overnight to Newcastle for a Gig on Saturday. Then a gap of three days before Norwich on Wednesday, and a final two gigs in south London Thursday and Friday.

"So you see," he pointed out, "I don't have to leave here until Thursday, and I'll be back here Saturday night - but late. Then I leave again on Wednesday early, and back again on Late Friday or Saturday morning. I take the car and that means I'm not tied to any foolishness on the band's part."

She was mollified by the itinerary, though she showed her misgivings about him being with the band.

The Wednesday practice was of necessity held at eight in the evening. It was the only time the practice room was available. It meant that it did not finish until after eleven, and while the rest went on to a club Ged drove straight home, arriving at eleven thirty, ready for bed and an early start.

He opened the front door of the flat to be greeted by a vision. Cassie was standing with one knee bent and the other straight facing the door. Her hair was in a ponytail and she wore a crop-top which plunged between her breasts and stopped immediately under them. It was quite flimsy and showed the dark blue bra she wore under it. Her lower half was a very short skirt in denim, it was slung low on her hips and hardly covered anything of her thighs. There were clearly no stockings or tights, and on her feet were a pair of three inch heels with open toe, allowing her bright red painted toenails to shine out. She had one finger in her mouth and was sucking it.

"Hi, Mr Smith!" she pouted. "Would you give me your autograph? I really think you're buff."

Ged was dumbstruck for a minute at the vision and the acting. Then he realised she was putting on a show because he was going the next morning, but she had never done the lusting young nymph fantasy before. Well, if that was what she wanted, he'd certainly play along. She looked gorgeous and all her assets were practically on show.

"OK, girl," he answered. "Where do you want me to sign?"

"Oh, silly me!" she simpered. "I've left my autograph book at home. Would you sign my knickers?"

"Of course," he grinned. "You going to take them off for me?"

"You can sign them on," she sighed, "and then you could take them off, if you wanted. My little pussy would be naked then."

She lifted her skirt to reveal a thong. Nowhere to sign on her bottom.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she giggled, "I forgot I'm wearing a thong. Come to the bedroom and I'll lie down so you can sign the front!"

She preceded him upstairs, swinging her hips and showing her practically bare bottom. Reaching the bedroom she lay on the bed and opened her legs. 

"Sign here!" she giggled again, giving him a pen and pointing.

Ged entered into the spirit of the thing, and pressed the pen against her slit, making as if to sign while finding her clitoris and rubbing it with the point.

"Ooh, Mr Smith," she cooed, "You're really turning me on, why don't you lose your pants and take down my knickers. I've always fancied you, you're so moody when you're playing."

He stripped and his cock was at full mast. As he reached for her thong, she kicked out at him, her face a mask of anger.

"You were bloody turned on by a groupie!" she shouted at him. "I knew it! You'll be fucking them just like the others!"

"What?" he was startled and mystified by the sudden change in her and didn't understand.

"You have the same perverted fantasy as the others - groupies!" she shouted.

He suddenly grasped her plan and in his turn was incandescent with rage.

"You stupid cow!" he bellowed. "It was your fantasy not mine! I was going along with your fucking fantasy!"

"Pull the other one!" she snarled at him. "It was the sexy outfit that turned you on!"

"Don't be stupid," he retorted, "It was you that turned me on. You! I've had enough of this. This pervert will get out of your fucking way. Go play with yourself. I don't want to look at you any more in that tart's uniform."

He stormed out of the bedroom to the other bedroom and shut the door with a crash. Then he sat on the bed and realised he was breathing heavily. He sat and collected himself, then stripped off the remainder of his clothes, and climbed into bed. He lay awake for a while, wondering how to deal with her obsession. 

What he realised as he fell asleep was that he was in danger of losing the love of his life. He would do the fortnight and that would finish it, but she would not get off easily for this lack of trust.

Cassie, sat on the edge of the bed in tears. It had seemed so straightforward. She would pretend to be a groupie and seduce him. He would either repulse her showing he could be trusted, or he would go along with the seduction, and she would know that he could not.

Was it true what he said? He thought she was playing out a fantasy of her own, and played along? That it was she that he lusted after, not the young woman she portrayed? He was so angry; she had never seen him so angry. Was that defence or outrage?

With renewed sobbing she realised that she was no clearer about him and had actually made things worse by driving him away. She lay down and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Ged arose, crept into their bedroom and picked up his suitcase that he had packed the previous afternoon. He made himself a cup of tea and some toast, washed up and then left the flat without waking her.

Except that she had woken up as he made final preparations to leave. She sprang out of bed, forgetting she was still wearing the seductive outfit, and rushed out of the bedroom, only to see the door shut behind him. She opened it but he had already reached the bottom of the block's stairs and was gone. 

The tears came again. She rushed to find her mobile, and found his short cut, but it went to voicemail - of course, he was driving and always shut his phone off. Then she realised what she was still wearing and was glad she had missed him, though the tears continued to flow because he was still so angry with her that for the first time since they had moved in together, he had gone without saying goodbye and kissing her as he always did.

That evening she knew he would be involved with the gig, and wondered if he would phone her after it finished. By one in the morning it was clear he was not going to phone, so she went to bed. The next morning at eight, she phoned him.

"Yes?" he barked.

"Ged, I'm sorry-"

"We'll talk when I get home." His words were clipped.

"How did the gig go?" she asked, wanting to connect with him somehow.




Music Man Pt. 02



Chapter Eleven

The band spent four days making sure all was prepared and doing some practising, during which Annette played bass for a few pieces between her other duties, and promised to learn the other pieces when she had time.

The tour began well. A development they had not expected was that Leo had negotiated with the BBC to do a documentary on the world tour. They would join the band from time to time in various parts of the world. The filming and background sound track were recorded on the trip, with a few interviews if there was time, and the commentary and other interviews were to be inserted later. 

The tour had its usual crop of problems – equipment which did not turn up, computerised lighting which took much coaxing to work at all, microphones that gave up half way through a performance. Annette took it all in her stride, and that delighted Ged. 

The three original members of the band behaved much as they always did, bedding young women after the gigs, getting into trouble with irate boyfriends, arguing with each other, messing up hotel rooms and partying all night. Jon and Ged were relieved that the girls were all legal, but Ged did not join the rest of the band, and instead spent his evenings with Annette. They would inspect the equipment together, and then they would repair to a quiet bar and chat over a few drinks. Occasionally Jon and his wife joined them.

The effect on the press and the fans was predictable. The fans found Ged, the silent member of the band, intriguing, and he was pursued relentlessly by lust-driven girls and a few gay men, but he was aloof, which rather fuelled their enthusiasm for him than diminished it, especially after Joshua invited him to join him for singing some duets, knowing what a draw Ged was.

It is a well known fact that bass players and keyboard players are the most invisible members of any band, and Ged's reticence when it came to the press meant that he tended to escape their notice most of the time, in contrast to the fans' preoccupations. Annette also kept herself to herself, in any case she was usually too busy. Even the BBC crew largely failed to concentrate on the pair since the antics of the other three kept them busy, and Joshua and Amos were more than willing to talk about their music,and their excesses in the various bars and hotel bedrooms.

Ged emailed Cassie when he could, usually late at night after a long day. On Skype or the phone he chatted about the places they visited, the band and what they got up to, how successful or otherwise their gigs were – and some were pretty sparsely attended. She told him about her days, and how Cheryl's baby was getting on. She had tales about some of the more eccentric writers who were submitting novels.

As the tour progressed, Ged and Annette grew closer as friends. They were both 'spoken for' and would exchange news of their partners and talk of how they missed them. 

Perforce they worked with each other repairing amplifiers, microphones and the other equipment, and when not upgrading the computer programmes for the sound and light presentations, were devising new ones for the future. They took to spending time in Ged's room where he had his laptop and portable keyboards.

It was towards the end of the Scandinavian tour, in Stockholm, that Ged noticed that Cassie was not emailing as often, and seemed distracted when they spoke together. When he saw her on Skype she looked worried but tried to hide it and told him it was because she missed him and somehow seeing him made it worse. 

On him pushing her further, she told him of media reports which spoke of his romance with his Road Manager. He thought he had put her mind to rest but she did not look convinced on Skype. He even introduced Annette to her, who assured her that she was 'spoken for' as was Ged, and that they were simply good friends working together. 

Towards the end of the Eastern European part of tour, near the end of November, Ged suddenly found he could not reach Cassie by Skype or on the phone. On Skype she was 'away' and the phone number he dialled was 'not recognised'. Then he received an email that frightened him. It was sarcastic and aggressive and he was at a loss to understand it.

You may be surprised to know that what you've been up to on your tour has made the papers. I told you that you and Annette had been mentioned, I can see why you told me not to believe what I read, and why you got her to back you up – it gave you the chance to cheat with her. I only have your word that she has a partner at home, and if she has, which i doubt, it seems it hasn't stopped the pair of you. I know what you've been doing, and that what the press have been writing was in this case true.

I hope you're happy with your new girlfriend, who I assume has an open relationship with her man or is cheating on him as you are on me. He probably doesn't exist. We talked enough about this for you to know how much this has hurt me, after all you said.

Since you've betrayed us, I consider myself free to date other people from now on. I knew this would happen, and that you would get corrupted. I could understand you getting together with her, but the other girls? Threesomes? You can forget our engagement, or any future for us. 

By the way, don't try to tell me that the press have things wrong. I have very compelling evidence from other sources – some of it photographic – that backs up what they are saying. It is conclusive, so there's no point in trying to wriggle out of it.

You told me to talk to you before acting. Consider this the talk, in any case there is nothing you could say to change my mind.

I've already changed my phone number, and blocked you from Skype and I will not be writing to you again. Do not try to contact me, I will not read what you write, and I will not reply.

Cassie.

He looked at the email for a long time. It made no sense. There was no photographic evidence of anything. There were no girls, though perhaps his friendship with Annette could be misinterpreted. Surely Cassie knew Ged was infatuated with Cassie and no one else? Had she found someone else and was using this to finish with him? Would she be so devious? Then he panicked, and talked to Annette.

"Ged, you have to tell her about me. It was good of you to keep it quiet, but not important enough to destroy your relationship."

So he wrote a reply he hoped she would read.

Dearest Cassie,

I don't understand your email. I have not been unfaithful. There have been no girls, no matter what the press or your 'other sources' might be saying. 

The Road Manager, Annette, and I work together on the equipment. Precisely because we don't want to get involved with the behaviour of the rest of the band, we spend a lot of time together and she has become a good friend. She has a partner at home just like I have in you, we often talk about you and about her partner. In any case, her partner is another woman: Annette gave me permission to tell you she is a lesbian, so your 'evidence' is untrue.

So please believe me, I have done nothing that I would not do if you were here with us. 

I don't know about this 'other evidence' but it is false – a lie.

If you are trying to salve your conscience because of something you have done perhaps you had better confess it now. If you want to end it with me because you have found someone else, then have the courage and guts to tell me to my face.

If you think that your email constitutes us 'talking' you need to think again. We were to talk WITH each other, not you talking TO me one way only.

I love you more than my own life. Don't do this. You promised to wait until I got back. Where is your promise now?

All my love is for you and no one else.

Ged.

There was no reply to that email, and she did not write again. Ged wrote a few more times asking her to explain, but there was no reply. He tried to phone a number of times but got the number unobtainable signal. She had indeed changed her number or her mobile.

He emailed Vivienne, telling her what happened and asked her to talk to Cassie. Two days later she replied saying that Cassie would not listen to any of Ged's 'cronies' and their lies. Viv was sorry but there was nothing more she could do.

It had a severe effect on him. He lost all interest in writing. Annette listened as he rambled on about Cassie and what had happened to them, bewailing the fact he'd ever come on the tour. He remained morose for much of the rest of the tour when he was not busy or on stage.

Christmas was spent in the sunshine and heat of Durban in South Africa, and his spirits were lifted by the arrival of Annette's partner Susan. She was a lively character and they spent a lot of time at the coast, swimming and lazing in the sun. It was Susan who suggested he phone one of Cassie's friends and find out what had happened. 

He decided to email Cheryl and Brian. He had tried to phone Cheryl but like the other calls it went unanswered. He hoped he might get through that way.

Dear Cheryl and Brian

I'm at a loss to know what to do, tied down as I am on this damned tour. I wish now I'd never agreed to go.

I don't know what's happened to Cassie. I know I've done nothing wrong, and I don't know where she's got the idea I have. She says she has proof, but she can't have because there isn't any evidence: nothing has happened.

I have a platonic friendship with the (female) road manager which I could understand the press misinterpreting. Please remind Cassie that Annette is a lesbian and her partner Susan came and spent Christmas with her. The three of us celebrated the feast together, though I don't feel in the least like celebrating anything. Perhaps that is the 'threesome' she mentioned?

Can you tell me what this evidence is that she is supposed to have? She promised to talk WITH me. She hasn't. This is what I was afraid of, that she'd go off without giving me a chance.

Is she well? She won't write to me or explain and she seems to have changed her phone number. Please help, I'm frantic with worry.

Love, Ged.

A hour later the reply came and it destroyed Ged.

Ged

You don't need to lie any more, because we've all seen the evidence. There are photographs. One of you with two women, another of you with what looks like a teenage groupie. You really are despicable. How could you do that to such a lovely girl?

Lesbian? Don't make me laugh! The noises you were making according to the witnesses show she was no lesbian. Bi, perhaps. I notice you say nothing about the other women you had, who were seen leaving your room in disarray.

Leave her alone. She's found someone else and they are an item. Your engagement is off.

I would never have believed that of you. She was devastated when she found what you've been doing. You tore her heart out. 

Do not try to contact us again. 

Cheryl.

Ged was like a zombie for the next month. He switched off his phone, and communicated only briefly with Gus by email. Gus had to arrange a time to switch his phone on when he needed to talk. 

The only time Ged came to life was when they were playing at a gig. He realised he was wearing Annette out with his constant harping on about Cassie, so he stopped talking about her, but his depression was all too obvious to her.

Annette was concerned about him. All the spark and energy had drained from him, he was half the man he had been. She had to force him to eat, and he lost a lot of weight.

So the tour went on. He continued to hold out some hope, sending intermittent emails to Cassie until they too began to bounce. 

Gus wrote that she was still living in 'their' flat, and seemed to be settled. He didn't see her boyfriend and so did not comment. He did try to talk to her but she shut the door in his face, shouting that she did not want to hear the lies of this friends.

It was the end of June when the email came that finished his hopes of a reconciliation. Gus wrote that he had seen in one of the gossip magazines that Cassie was engaged to Zak. It depressed him further, but not as badly as her first email finishing with him. He finally was able to put some distance between him and his feelings for her. He knew she would be sleeping with her new fiancé, and assumed she would have moved out of his flat.

Then a suspicion began to arise as the news sank in. He looked with new eyes at Amos. Amos had never liked him, and hardly spoke a civil word to him. He was good mates with Zak. Ged bided his time, and watched Amos carefully, though there was no evidence that Amos had any interest in him. However, Ged reasoned, the damage had been done, and if Amos had done anything, it would have been over already.

They were into August at the end of the tour, having reached the USA, when finally there came the news from Gus. Cassie had married Zak in a big wedding down south. At that, Ged did three things. 

Mentally he cut off from Cassie. She was now in the past, and he had to move on. He had none of the joie de vivre that he had had previously. He was serious but seemed less depressed. 

The second thing was that he began to write songs again. He poured out his feelings of betrayal and desolation and the songs were powerful and heart-wrenching. He called the most wretched one 'Connie', and it was with this name that it hit the airwaves in the USA where they were ending their tour, and in Britain. It was sung by his favourite female singer, Catherine Styles, who he knew would do it justice. It hit the charts and climbed to the top. He hardly noticed.

The third thing was that he was trying to find an opportunity to get his hands on Amos's laptop before they all flew home. He determined to find out if Amos had sent any 'evidence' to Zak. His opportunity came when Amos, Peter and Joshua went on a two day binge in Las Vegas. Annette decided to help him; she was incensed at Cassie's treatment of him and the consequent destruction of his personality.

It took very little time to find Amos's email history and their attachments, and Jon and Jessica, who were as appalled as Annette, downloaded the emails and attachments onto a memory stick for him.

They returned to Ged's room and viewed the files. Everything became clear. Ged asked them all not to take any action, as he would sort things out in his own time.

There were a number of emails from Amos to gossip magazines negotiating for payment. Then the sending of some photos. One of Ged and Annette sitting close together at a table, heads together; another of Annette coming out of Ged's room and kissing him good night. It was a brief kiss but frozen as it was in time, could have lasted an hour. Then one of them arm in arm walking along a street, she had her head turned towards him and was laughing. There was even one of them with Jessica at a bar, as they waited for Jon to join them.

The emails which accompanied the photos were jocular and referred to Ged 'getting his end away' with Annette, and 'being lovey-dovey' with her.

Then emails to Zak. The first were copies of the others. Then more seriously some others. One with photos of Ged leading a young blonde girl into his room. It was taken with a telephoto lens, and Ged had his arm round her. They remembered it. The girl had trapped her finger in the primitive lift door, and out of shot was Annette, who followed them into the room. The next one showed a blonde girl, her clothes disarranged and carrying her knickers, coming out of what seemed to be the same room. Except that the number on the door, partially obscured, was a floor higher – 324, instead of 224. It was Amos's room. The way she 'accidentally' displayed the underwear showed it to be set up.

There were a number of emails telling that Ged 'Mr goody-goody' was not quite a 'goody' as he would like to make out. Stories of him having more than one girl at a time, though there were no photos of that, unsurprisingly. The girl coming out of the room had been 'well seen to by our 'super-stud Ged,' (and indeed she had been – by Amos). 

Then there were the emails back and forth crowing about how they had destroyed Ged's relationship with Cassie. There were telling emails showing that Zak had told Amos that Ged had stolen Cassie from him, and now between them Zak had stolen her back.

"The bastard," Annette exploded. "He set you up!"

"Yep!" said Ged. "Too late now. She's married to Zak. I'm out of it."

"But she needs to know!" muttered Annette. "She's been had."

"No point," he replied. "It'll only upset her. Let her be. She's probably happy with Zak. He's had plenty of experience, and I think she never really got over him, so at least their sex life will be fine."

Annette sighed. "You're too good. You should fight for her."

"And get second best after he's had her? I don't think so."

Ged was adamant. "Jon, Annette, please don't do anything about this. It's my problem. You've already been of immense help."

Annette shrugged and said no more. Jon patted him on the back, and Jessica kissed his cheek. It was good to have trustworthy friends.

–– 

Chapter Twelve 

Ged had a number of emails from friends of his that Cassie did not know, telling him about the wedding and commiserating with him over his loss of the girl he loved. Had loved, he thought. A number of them asked when the tour would end and how soon he would return. It gave him an idea.

He contacted Catherine Styles In 'Frisco and asked her if she fancied going over some songs and perhaps making an album containing some of his songs which she would sing. She invited him to come stay with her at her place, and he gratefully accepted.

Ged then emailed Leo. He outlined what he had found out about Amos and Zak, and what they had done to him, and said that as a result he could no longer work with the band. Leo emailed for permission to phone him and once connected, begged him to reconsider, but Ged asked him if someone lied to split Leo up from his wife, would he want to work with that person? Leo saw the point and reluctantly agreed. He also agreed to say nothing to Amos about the matter.

After that call, Ged left his phone switched on, a symbol of a new start.

Annette's contract ran out as soon as they touched down in Manchester, and she would not be renewing. She was still livid about what they had done to Ged and did not want to be anywhere near them ever again.

So after the last gig, Ged booked a flight from Los Angeles to San Francisco, while the others left on the flight back home; he felt no urgency about returning to Britain. Annette promised to take care of his equipment until he should return.

He now had all the money he could possibly want, and the stream of royalties kept flowing, but he had lost the only woman he had ever truly loved, and everything seemed unimportant beside that fact. He knew he had to move on, but the tie to Cassie was strong and he knew it would take time before he was truly free of her.

He took a taxi from the airport and arrived mid afternoon at the huge mansion in which Catherine dwelt. As he drew up at the front door it opened and she emerged.

Now Ged had often emailed Catherine, and they had spoken on the phone. He had seen photos of her in concert, but nothing prepared him for the dark haired beauty standing on the steps awaiting him. 

She was slim with fairly small breasts the outline of her nipples standing clear through the plain tee shirt. Her short skirt revealed calves and thighs in perfect proportion. Her face was pretty and everything about her was neat. 

Like any male, he was immediately attracted to her, and she smiled broadly at him as he climbed out of the cab and paid the driver. It flashed through his mind that Cassie was much more his type, but the thought was quickly lost. 

"My, oh my!" she laughed. "Aren't you the handsome one! Hi, Ged. Welcome!"




Music Man Pt. 02



Leaving his baggage in a pile where he had unloaded it, he ran up the steps and she opened her arms for a hug. Her body felt slight and feather-light in his arms, she was very slim indeed.

"Thank you, Catherine," he said into her hair. She was not as tall as he had thought either. "I'm so happy to see you at last."

Between them they picked up his baggage, and she ushered him into the palatial building, cool in the afternoon heat, led him to the kitchen and offered him tea.

"I know you Brits love tea," she said as she boiled a kettle. "So I bought some stuff called 'Yorkshire Tea' – is that OK?"

"Oh yes!" he replied with a smile. "Very OK! I've not had a decent cup of tea for nearly a year."

"You take cream and sugar?"

"No sugar thanks. Do you have such a commodity as skimmed or low fat milk?"

"Why yes!" she replied. "We call it skim milk, or there is 2% milk; it has 2% cream. Are you a health freak?"

"Not particularly," he said, " but I like the taste of tea better without too much cream in the milk. Skim milk will be ideal."

They hit it off perfectly. He asked her why she lived alone in such a large house, and she looked surprised. 

"You haven't seen some of the other homes round here!" she said. "This is relatively small, but it has to be big enough to hold parties – essential to my work."

They went out to dinner, Catherine driving. Over dinner she broached the subject of her latest hit song, which he had called Connie. He told her the whole story.

"You going to get her back?"

"Revenge?" he answered, misunderstanding her. "I don't think so."

"No!" she laughed long. "I mean win her back from the slime-ball who's taken her from you?"

"She's made her choice," said Ged. "I have to start afresh."

She let the matter drop. When they got back to the house, she led him to his bedroom, and sat on the bed while he unpacked.

"When did you last get laid?" she asked out of the blue.

"Over a year ago." he answered, surprised at her directness.

"And she's married now?"

"Yep!"

"Time you got a little R & R," she said. "Fancy a fuck?"

Ged stopped in mid fold of a pullover. He turned, his mouth open.

"Pardon?" he said, astounded. She giggled.

"You heard," she snapped cheerfully, "You've not been laid for a year. Me? About six months and that wasn't earth-moving. I like you, and you like me. I'm pretty good looking and you're something to see. Why not?"

He looked at this beautiful woman, and realised that yes, he was free. He did not have to be faithful any more. 

"I'd love to make love with you." he said.

"My, that's putting it a mite strongly," she said, "but we can certainly fuck each other's brains out."

"Tell you what," said Ged, smiling now. "You fuck me, and I'll make love to you. See how you like it?"

She smiled and her face lit up. 

"Deal!" she said. "You're clean and I've got certificates to prove I'm clean. I'm safe so we can do it bareback."

"That's how I like it!" laughed Ged.

"Leave the unpacking and get naked!" she ordered.

"Wow, Ma'am!" he mimicked a southern drawl. "You sure are feisty!"

"You ain't seen nuttin' yet, mister!" she retorted in kind.

"Exactly," said Ged reverting to his own accent. "I'm the one stripping; you get to see everything. As you say so eloquently: I ain't seen nuttn'."

She laughed.

"One at a time," she breathed with affected sensuality, "I like to see the effect I have when I unveil my treasures."

He kicked off his sandals, pulled his tee shirt over his head, and pushed down his slacks, stepping out of them and standing in his briefs. Then he turned his back and slowly pushed them off his buttocks and down his thighs, and following them down so he was bent over in front of her. He wiggled his bum. She whistled. "Nice butt!"

He turned, and she noticed his penis was beginning to rise. 

"For me?" she asked raising an eyebrow, with an interested smile.

"My friend down there appreciates pretty women," he said.

"Keep talking like that and you can stay for ever!" she said. "Sit down." 

He obeyed, and she stood up and lifted her tee shirt, revealing a pair of small breasts unencumbered by any bra. 

"I don't need one," she said, reading his thoughts. Then she unfastened her skirt and dropped it to the floor. Her panties were pale blue and low rise. She followed his example and turned her back while she began to slowly push the flimsy garment down, bending as he had done so that her pudenda was peeping at him between her straight legs and tight-stretched flattish bottom. Her genitals were shaved and very tidy.

He sank to his knees. "Come over to the bed and lean forward like you are now." he ordered.

She did and he knelt behind her. He put his face to her bottom and began to lick along and up to her rear, which he rimmed before pulling the underside of his tongue down again, then again... 

"Oh!" was the only sound to escape her lips, but she opened her legs wider. She mewed as he tantalised her. When at last he licked her clit she yelped and twitched and her knees sagged. Good, he thought, a little 'come'. 

He lifted her hips and gently pushed her onto the bed and she climbed further on of her own accord, and lay on her back. He went between her legs and gave her his total oral attention until she cried out and convulsed in her pleasure. A big one, he knew.

"Come fuck me," she gasped and he pushed into her. Her metrical cries marked the depth of his rhythmic burial deep in her, and she gave him momentary smiles. Ged did not speed up, even to his release, but suddenly held still as he spewed into her, and then fell forward, moving slowly as he milked the last of his spending.

"Fuck!" she said as she regained her breath, "I needed that. You're damned good you know."

"And you are superb!" he flattered her, but he meant it.

"Here's to a lot of lurve in the next weeks – you are visiting with me for a few weeks?"

"If you'll let me work, and you sing my songs. I'll stay as long as you can stand me."

"As long as you do me regular until you can't stand up. I could get used to that cock of yours."

"And I your pussy." They both grinned at the coarse language.

He stayed over the rest of August and September. She was a solicitous host and showed him all the sights, took him to parties, wined and dined him, introduced him to various people in the local music industry and even got him appearing on a chat show, to such an extent that he got little writing done.

She left to appear in Las Vegas for a week, and he worked hard during that time since he was not distracted by her insatiable desire for his body. Indeed he had never actually used the guest bedroom! 

The two of them put together an album including many of his songs and she got her girl backing singers to help make it. It took three weeks of attempts until it was to their satisfaction. It would be published after Christmas.

At the beginning of October, he began to feel the pull of home, and in mid-November he bade a fond farewell to Catherine (who begged him to return soon) and the West Coast USA, and flew home.

Ged visited his parents and stayed for a week while he recuperated from the jet-lag. They said nothing about Cassie or her marriage, apart from mentioning that she had not contacted them at all while Ged was away.

Then he went back to the flat. He was dispirited as he approached, remembering the wonderful year they had together culminating in their engagement. Now there was an empty hopeless feeling. No matter what her reasons had been for what she had done, her marriage put an end to any hope of reconciliation. He felt a frisson of anger and resentment at her unilateral action.

If he had felt saddened as he approached the flat, lugging his huge cases, he had another setback to contend with. As he approached the door he saw a sheet of paper taped to it. It was a "notice of default" stating that he had failed to keep up his mortgage payments and as a result his bank had applied for and obtained, a repossession order from the court.

He pulled the notice off the door, tried his keys, and to his relief found they still worked. He entered the flat. Behind the door was a mountain of mail. He cleared it and looked up. If he had felt empty on his approach, he felt emptier now: the flat was completely stripped bare.

–– 

Chapter Thirteen

August the previous year had been a happy time for Cassie, though she missed Ged terribly. She had seen Ged off and had been upset at the time, but thanks to emails, Skypes and phone calls between the two of them she was coping well. She had many friends and visited them, and they her. In addition there was her new job which took up a good deal of her time. She thought perhaps the coming year would pass more quickly than she had thought, and already looked forward to Christmas and South Africa. 

She went to the Friday evenings at the Crown when the little group was playing and singing Ged's songs in his absence. She chatted with Viccy, Fred, Ben and Hetty; they were kindred spirits, since they all missed Ged's presence.

It was there that at the end of August she bumped into Zak. It surprised her because she had forgotten that he had left the band. They chatted briefly, but it unsettled her. Somehow he was different: quieter, gentler, and it intrigued her.

The following week he was there again and the week after that. The fourth week he sat down with her and bought her a pint of beer. 

"You've changed, Zak," she said, feeling comfortable with him for the first time, she realised. She noted he looked cleaner, more groomed, with shorter hair.

"Yeah," he said, looking her in the eye. "You changed all that. When you caught me with Tracy I knew I'd thrown away the only good thing in my life. What I was doing was stupid. That's why I left the band; they are like quicksand, you sink into that way of doing things with them. I had to get away. So here I am, on the straight and narrow."

She also noted that he drank one pint of beer and that was all.

"You with anyone?" she asked, and had a fluttering of fear she did not understand. 

"No," he said, almost sadly she thought. "I was going with someone, but we split. Not because of me this time," he hastened to add, with a ruthful smile. "We just weren't suited for anything permanent."

"You'll find someone Zak," she assured him, laying her hand on his bare arm.

"Yeah, well," he said. "I blew it when I cheated on you." He stood. "Must be going," he said, and left hurriedly. He seemed choked up. It set her wondering.

It was immediately after he had gone she saw the music magazine he had 'forgotten' to pick up from the seat. She picked it up and idly skimmed through it as she listened to the group sing. Then she was arrested by an article on the band's tour. It took up two pages, and the first page assessed the success of the tour and the individual gigs, commenting on the varying responses of the audiences in different countries and different venues within them. 

Then came the humorous comments on the band's lifestyle. Their parties were documented for their wildness. Then came a paragraph and a couple of photos.

'Our quiet man, Mr Smith, still keeps clear on the 'smash and grab' parties the others go for, but he's found a girlfriend of his own. Annette, the roadie. You can see they've really got something going on. They're together every night, and she's been seen going to his hotel bedroom in the evenings. You're a sly dog Mr Smith! And you with a girl at home!'

She sat frozen in her place, staring at the photo of Ged with his arm round Annette's waist, and the other of them kissing. She felt deep fear and desperation. They were so far away, Cassie could not reach them. Then she was angry. What did the piece say? She was in his room every night? Her mind was blank, and her emotions running riot.

She roused herself and phoned Cheryl.

"Can I come round?" she asked plaintively as the tears began to fall.

"He's done what?" Cheryl exploded, as they sat with the universal healer of all ills in Britain – two steaming mugs of tea. Brian was out at a meeting.

"He's been fucking the roadie," She repeated the words, as it that would make them untrue. It had the reverse effect.

"Sorry, darling," her friend retorted. "I don't believe it. He wouldn't do that. Who told you this?"

"I saw it in NME," she said. "It was an aside at the end of a report on one of the gigs they did." She threw down the magazine onto the table, and Cheryl read the offending article.

"I still don't believe it," Cheryl asserted. "He's totally in love with you Cassie. There must be another explanation for the pictures."

"I don't know what to think," Cassie said, looking bleakly at Cheryl. 

"Well, ask him," said Cheryl.

"I can't just say 'Hey Ged, are you sleeping with your roadie?' now can I?" Cassie smiled at the idea. "That would really show him how much I trust him. Anyway, he'd just tell me not to believe anything I read."

"I know," said Cheryl suddenly hitting on an idea. "Let's ask Judy. She reads all the gossip mags. If anything's going on, they'll have licked it up. If they have, you can tell him it's all over the press, and leave him to explain."

Judy was a university friend who was addicted to all the gossip and celebrity magazines. She talked of little else, to the annoyance of most of her friends, but she was such a good friend that they forgave her her addiction.

It was by now very late, after midnight, but they both knew Judy would still be awake. Cheryl accordingly phoned her, and asked her to research her magazine collection for information on the band's tour.

The results were not encouraging. The more high class magazines had little to say about the band, but the more scurrilous ones made hay of the outrageous behaviour of Joshua, Peter and Amos. There were pictures of them with women in various states of undress at clubs, their hands where they ought not to have been.

Only one magazine mentioned Ged. Referring to Ged as the boring one of the band, it gleefully reported seeing Ged and Annette in compromising situations. The photos were the same ones from the music magazine, but this magazine wrote of a 'long steamy kiss' before the two disappeared into his room 'for the night.'

They listened on the speaker phone as Judy relayed the information, and Cassie resolved to get the offending magazine.

"Don't forget," said Cheryl as Cassie left to go home, "These papers will say anything to get readership. Make sure before you say too much to Ged."

Cassie's mind was in turmoil. She decided to confront him with the press reports and demand an explanation. By the time she had walked home she was angry, and already felt he had betrayed her, but when she sat down with her laptop, she could not bring herself to do it. She dreaded his confirmation of the reports. She feared the end of their relationship, and it was sure that she would end it if he were guilty. So she did not email, but went to bed where she lay tossing and turning for some hours before drifting into a troubled sleep.

Over the weekend she did not contact him. She visited Cheryl again and they talked it through. It cleared her mind somewhat. Ged might not be guilty. The press were renowned for their inaccuracies, and downright lies to get readers. Hadn't Ged himself warned her about this very thing? She needed other sources of information.

It was then that she made her serious mistake. Judy phoned and told her another gossip magazine had picked up on Ged. Much of the information was the same. Cassie said she really needed a more reliable source. Judy thought for a while and then thought of another friend.

Denise was a friend of Judy who had an on-off relationship with Amos. Denise did not mind about him sleeping with other women on his tours, since she took it as permission to sleep around in her turn. Judy contacted Denise and Denise was happy to contact Amos by email and ask him about the band in general and Ged in particular. 

Amos asked who wanted to know, and smiled when he heard it was Cassie. Amos had kept in contact with Zak, and had sent the pictures and story of Ged and Annette to various magazines and newspapers. Only a few took it up, and Zak bought each one. Now Amos knew Cassie needed 'proof' of Ged's infidelity, he set out to make sure she got it.

Once back home, Cassie fired up her computer. There was an email from Ged, telling the the usual stuff about the gig – what went wrong, reaction of the crowd etc. No mention of Annette, though she had to be honest, he had mentioned her before.

She wondered how to phrase her suspicions without appearing to doubt him. She sent a reply commenting on what he had written, then stopped and thought for a long time. Eventually she wrote:

The gossip press are talking about you and your Road Manager. Apparently you are sleeping with her on a regular basis! I'm glad you warned me about the press, or I would be out of my mind with worry!

The next night he had replied. He said the usual stuff, this time about the flight to their new venue. He added the note she wanted to read.

Oh yeah, about Annette. You remember I told you she has her partner at home just like me, so neither of us want to join the mad crowd. We spend a lot of time together servicing the equipment and discussing the set-up for the gigs. She has a degree in electronics so we have a lot in common. I'm so glad the press has made the usual wrong assumption! Don't worry, I'm still all yours!

She felt a surge of relief, but it was short-lived as she looked again at the press photographs. They were definitely kissing, and it looked quite intense. Was he lying? Or totally innocent – but the photo? She then knew she needed the extra information.

The next time he skyped her he introduced Annette to her, who assured her she was looking after Cassie's fiancé, and that Cassie had nothing to worry about. All Cassie could see was how gorgeous the other girl was. If Ged thought he was putting her mind to rest, it had the reverse effect.

It was two weeks later when Judy asked to see Cheryl and Cassie together. She had something to show them.

They sat round the dining table; Judy looked solemn.

"You're not going to like this," she said, and put the printouts of some emails before them. They were copies of emails Amos had sent to Denise. She had highlighted the relevant paragraph each time. Cassie ignored the spelling and grammar at which she would have baulked in other circumstance, after all she did edit novels.

The first one.

Hey Denise, you were asking about our friend 'the saint' and his woman on the tour. Platonic? That means no sex, right? That's a laugh. There at it every night, banging away. Even the papers got wind of it.

Second one.

They were in his room all night last night. Shes quite a screemer, that one. Hes got to be good in the sack, the noise's he was getting out of her.

Third one.

Your not going to believe this. Our Anet isnt enuf for him. He got a girl last nite. Young thing. I got them on camera going into his room. I waited two hours! Then got her cumming out. Didnt now the bloke had it in him. She had it in her though! See attachments.

There were two photographs. One showed Ged with his arm round a girl who looked about nineteen going into his room. The printout was not the clearest, but was good enough. Then another showing her emerging. She had that 'just fucked' look, her hair mussed up, her shirt open showing her bra underneath, and she was carrying her knickers. She looked dazed.

Fourth one.

A tart shacked up with Ged and Anet. Photo of them all out for a drink before all three went back to his room. See attach. Cudnt get one near room in case they saw me. All three all night. God that bloke has stamina that Anet must be bi. 




Music Man Pt. 02



The photo was innocuous, it showed Jessica with Annette and Ged, showing all three drinking in a bar. Jon had arrived minutes later.

The three women sat still, staring at the table. No one said a word for a long time.

"If I hadn't seen those photos, I would never have believed it of Ged." said a dazed Cheryl. "So that tart bats for both sides."

"What a bastard!" muttered Judy.

Cassie said nothing. She was in shock. Everything she had been certain about was called into question. It was not the Ged she knew, but the evidence was overwhelming. One thing was certain; her life with Ged was over for ever. He was out of her sight and thought he could do whatever he liked. She was sitting at home reading his lies, and he was fucking everything in sight. Her anger at him grew cold. They were finished, and she was a single woman again.

She went on Skype and blocked Ged, then went through the tortuous business of changing her mobile phone number, and letting everyone on her calling list (apart from Ged) know what her new number was. She sent him her last email and from then on junked and deleted all his subsequent mails without reading them.

On the following Friday she was again in the pub, and there was her old lover, Zak. She sat with him and they drank a few beers listening to the music. 

"I've finished with Ged Smith," she said, out of the blue. She did not know why she wanted to tell Zak, but she did.

"Oh?" he said. 

"He's been cheating on me," she said by way of explanation.

He asked how she knew and she told him the whole story. He listened attentively, something he never used to do, and when the pub closed he walked her home. At her door she turned to say goodnight and to thank him, when he kissed her. Her insides melted, but she pushed him away.

"Goodnight, Zak," she said firmly.

"You know I still love you," he said, and there again was that fluttering in her stomach. "I never stopped. I have changed Cassie."

"Oh Zak," she sighed. "You cheated on me after I trusted you. Now Ged's done the same, and I trusted him. I'm not ready to try the relationship thing again."

"I'll wait," he said softly, and she wanted to kiss him again, but she didn't; it was too tempting and too soon. "Can we meet again?" he was saying.

"Yes," she said, "I'd like that."

That night she lay in bed and thought about the week she'd had. Once again her life was uncertain and someone she had trusted had abused her trust. She was despondent.

–- 

Chapter Fourteen

Ged walked round the empty flat. Nothing of what Cassie and he had bought remained. In his old office-cum-music room there was the filing cabinet and the computer without a monitor or keyboard. Nothing else.

Ged sat on the floor of the flat and sorted the mail, looking for letters from the bank or from the courts, placing them in a pile of their own. He found the electricity and gas bills, all red, and realised by experiment that the electricity had been cut off and so had the gas. He went to the fridge, since it was built in, it had been left, and shut the door as soon as he opened it, as the stale rancid smell filled the kitchen. 

He was puzzled. Hadn't he set up direct debits for all the services before he went, so that Cassie would not need to worry about bills? Didn't Gus funnel a monthly payment into his household account via a Standing Order to make sure everything was paid? He phoned Gus on his mobile.

"Hi Ged!" shouted Gus on picking up. He had 'Caller ID'. "Great tour! You coming in to see the takings?"

"Yes, Gus," Ged replied, in a flat monotone.

Gus picked up the tone immediately. "Hey, mate, I'm sorry about Cassie."

"So am I," answered Ged, "but there's something more urgent to deal with. Did you stop the Standing Order that pays into my Bills Account for the flat?"

"No?" he answered. "The monthly payment is still being paid in, I have the latest statement."

"So why have I a repossession order on the flat for non-payment of mortgage; why is there no furniture left here? Why is my electric and gas cut off; why is there a court summons to pay my council tax?"

Silence. Then, "Ged, have you checked the bills account on line?"

"Difficult without electricity – a wi-fi router, that is if I had one, needs power."

"OK," Gus replied, more soberly. "Can you get over here? We can do everything from here."

Once in Gus's office, there were a number of further revelations. The first was the bills account in his name. Gus called up the previous five months.

"Bloody Hell!" gasped Ged.

"Fucking Nora!" muttered Gus, as they cast their eyes over the figures.

"That's the date they married," Gus pointed. "Look, from a month before, July, as soon as the money comes in, it goes out again. Let's look at 'standing orders'."

"There!" Ged observed. "A payment to another bank account – sort code and account number, and her name! The fucking bitch! She's siphoned off all the money! And she's still doing it! Did she take all the furniture?"

There are ways of finding out, but for now, we'll just stop it." 

And they did. 

"You might like to know," Gus said with a smile, "that you have eight million sitting in the holding deposit account in the same bank, waiting for you to decide what to do with it. More coming in all the time – large amounts – there's still a good quarter of the takings from the tour to come, let alone sales."

Ged phoned, and asked for the manager. As usual he was put off – the manager was 'in a meeting.'

He gave the girl on the other end his account number.

"Got my details?" he snapped.

"Yes, sir," she said. "You seem to be in arrears with your payments on the mortgage."

"Is there a deposit account on your screen?" There was a silence. And then a whispered, "Good God!"

"I want the manager on the phone NOW!" Ged shouted. "Or I take my business elsewhere."

Oddly, it turned out that the manager's meeting ended at that very moment! He was able to come to the phone immediately. He began to talk about the arrears, when Ged cut him off.

"Did it not appear strange to anyone in your benighted little branch, that there might be something going on – eight million in one account and five months' arrears on the mortgage?"

"Well–"

"Is there a note to the effect that while I've been away, Mr Gus Mettleson is handling my affairs?"

"Let me see... Well, yes."

"Why did no one call him or write to him calling this to his attention? Aren't you allowed by law to take money from my deposit account and settle the arrears? Why am I being threatened with repossession?"

The man's apologies were fulsome and even grovelling. He would get to the bottom of the matter and he would rescind the penalty charges; any court action would be halted. Ged asked about the furniture. At first, he was told the bank sent the bailiffs in to reclaim the arrears and had sold his effects.

"You will replace every stick of furniture, all the equipment and appliances. You will do it quickly, or I will be suing you, and of course removing my business. Then I get in touch with Head Office. Understand?"

He understood, and asked for an inventory.

"Get it from the bailiffs. Your problem not mine. Further I have just arrived after a year away and I have nowhere to live because of your incompetence. What are you going to do about it?"

He would be put up in a hotel of his choosing. 

"Now," Ged went on. "It appears there has been some embezzlement of my household account. Someone has siphoned off all the money my agent placed there to pay the bills. I want to know who has done it. Use your brains – there was an unauthorised Standing Order removing the money as soon as it arrived. I want action. It's fraud or theft."

The bank would work with the police to find who had done it. Ged disconnected. 

Gus handled the Gas and Electric people, pointing out that they had been informed that all communications were to go to him. They hadn't complied with that instruction, and now Mr Smith was cut off. Urgent action and compensation were required, and agreed. A similar call to the Council Offices took much longer. Public servants are often slow on the uptake and then on the action. Finally the phone company.

Ged was angry, very angry. "Gus," he grumbled, "I need a lawyer. That cow has swindled me – Fraud? Embezzlement? I want her sued for the money and compensation for what's been done to the flat. I don't care that it's Cassie. She had no right to do that; it was petty and vindictive."

"Graham Pilkington," said Gus. "He's very good, and he tells it like it is. He's a bit pricey, but worth it."

Ged left Gus's office on Gus's promise that he would arrange a meeting with Graham, and made for one of the best hotels in the City. Tomorrow he would be at 'home', what there was of it, to welcome the re-instatement of his services.

Next day saw him, wearing a mask, clearing the fetid mess in the fridge and freezer, and airing and cleaning the flat. He was impressed that Gas and Electricity were re-connected that morning, and he received a phone call from Gus inviting himself and Graham to the flat that afternoon.

"Do you only deal with people whose names begin with 'G'?" Ged joked, as Gus introduced Graham. 

"Only the Good ones!" came the sharp retort.

"There's nowhere to sit," Ged reminded him.

"We'll stand!" Gus responded.

On their arrival, Ged explained what had happened, and how the living arrangements had been with Cassie. Once finished, they awaited Graham's comment. Graham looked round the bare flat.

"Not good news," Graham began. "You lived together, and had a common current account, so technically she was entitled to take money from that account, so you've no redress there. 

"But your household bills account – that's different. She had no rights over that. 

"You owned the flat but she paid nothing to stay, so there's no tenancy agreement, and as a result she could really do as she pleased in your absence, like living here with her boyfriend. I hear that she did have her soon-to-be-husband here for a few months. 

"You understand this is the legal position, not the moral one. If anyone took money out of your personal account that would be theft. By the way, did you give her the household account details?"

"Well no, not directly," he replied after some thought. "I kept the account details in my filing cabinet and I had no reason to lock it against her. Gus had the details and pin number for emergencies while I was away. He was running the account for me, not her. "

"Oh." He looked unhappy. "That might be questionable in court. It depends on whether you leaving the cabinet unlocked is seen as an invitation or not. If it is seen that way, then if she's changed the account you have no redress, I'm afraid. Banks take sharing your pin numbers very seriously. Did you have the pin number written down?"

"No. I remembered it. In any case I had no reason to use a pin number with that account; it was all done on line."

"Well, that's better, but having the details unlocked – could be dodgy in court."

Ged nodded. The evening before he had suspected as much. It intensified his disgust with her behaviour, and his wonder that she could be so vindictive. After all she knew what the account was for, and she was intelligent enough to know that she had no rights there. 

What had he done that was so heinous that she should react like that? All right, so she thought he had been unfaithful, and she thought she had hard evidence, but she had not even given him the chance to defend himself. She simply cut him off.

Graham and Gus left, Gus demanding Ged's time the next day to discuss his takings from the tour and the royalties from his songs.

Ged looked round at the empty flat. So she had Zak there in his flat, in his bed for months. Suddenly he didn't want to live in that flat any more. It revolted him. He would look for another place, and this time he had the money. No mortgage. He would take the furniture the bank obtained and move it to his new place. The flat could be sold and soon.

The very next day he found a very pleasant extensive detached house in its own grounds a few miles out of town. It had a huge living room and dining room which were connected by a folding partition making an even bigger area, another living room, a roomy study at the front of the house which he thought would do for a music room, large square kitchen, utility room, and another room in an annex reached by a covered walkway which would do for a gym, and finally a covered swimming pool beyond it. 

Upstairs there were eight bedrooms, four of which were en suite. The garden was vast, with shady trees here and there, and he knew he would have to employ a gardener to keep it under control. It rather reminded him of Catherine's place in its size, though it was thoroughly British in design and construction.

Negotiations were begun, and since he was paying cash, they were very brief. The vendors, a wealthy couple who had just retired and were downsizing, were amazed he did not haggle but simply paid up.

He contacted the music group, and they met in his hotel suite. They looked and felt uncomfortable until he told them that Cassie was a thing of the past and if he could get over it, so could they.

As they left after a good practice when they played and loved his new songs, Vivienne asked him to go for a drink. Vivienne was an old girlfriend from school who had stayed a friend after they had split up, and was by general agreement the leader of the group. 

They went down to the bar in the hotel and settled.

"Hey, Ged!" she said. "It's great to see you back. You had quite a time according to the papers."

"Viv," smiled Ged. "How's things?"

"Not so bad," she replied with a grin. "So you know all about Cassie and this Zak?" 

"Yeah. I got a few phone calls, mostly abusive from her friends. Apparently Cassie was pissed off at me. If she's married for revenge, more fool her."

"Well, you were pretty wild."

"Viv," said Ged seriously. "You shouldn't believe what you read in the press. I spent the whole tour with one woman."

"But?" she looked puzzled, "that's partly why she's so pissed off."

"Yeah I was with Annette – know her?"

"No. Papers said she got the job with you and the band, technician or something wasn't it?"

"Right. And we spent every single evening in each other's company, usually alone, often in my room, while the others got laid."

"But she's gorgeous..."

"And a lesbian."

"A les... So you didn't..."

"No, we didn't. You may have noticed, I'm not a woman."

She laughed. "I remember that! But the papers?"

"They were wrong – Amos did a number on me. I have some theories about him and Zak. Between them they lost me the woman I loved."

"So tell her!"

"No way!" Ged was adamant. "Too late. She's married to Zak – better or worse etc. She was shagging him long before they married apparently, and in my flat. She's history as far as I'm concerned. Please Viv, don't say anything about what I've told you. If you want the full story, there's a documentary coming up on BBC Three sometime. You can say what you like to her after it, if you want."

"OK!" Vivienne said holding up her hands. "My lips are sealed, but not my legs. You want a little TLC tonight? Must be gruelling knowing she's with that toe-rag. You must be horny?"

"You're very kind, Viv, " smiled Ged, "but I need time to recover and start to feel at home again. I'm still rather exhausted. What was really gruelling was living in hotels for a year. I still am, for goodness sake!"

They left the bar in the hotel and she kissed him before she left and he returned to his suite.

There was a hiatus, waiting for the conveyance on the house to be completed and then for furniture to be delivered, along with his musical equipment from Annette.

He had been travelling everywhere by taxi since his return. Since there was no sign of their Ford Focus he assumed that Cassie still had it. He decided to buy a car. 

This occupied him for some time, surfing the net to assess the merits of different marques, he was tempted by BMWs and Audis, then had a fit of millionaire-ness and got in touch with a Bentley dealer. It appeared he would have to wait while they built his car by hand, after he got to the top of the waiting list, so he gave that idea up.

Eventually he decided on a used Jaguar X358, taking delivery the next day. 

A week later, against all the odds, came the day he moved into his new home. He had to furnish the empty building from scratch and it was going to take a lot of time and energy to get exactly what he wanted. He made sure to transfer the telephone land line number from the flat to the house, since everyone knew that number from before the tour.

The bank had decided to give him the money instead of trying to find the furniture and he had bought furniture and fittings suitable for a house of that size, which swallowed everything easily, being so large. After a week of strenuous effort, he had sparsely furnished the smaller living room, kitted out the study which was now a music studio, and the largest, master bedroom. 

Fortunately the kitchen had been recently installed and he had liked it from the first time he saw it. He bought the cutlery, utensils and crockery in the same style as he had loved at the flat and added more. 

He employed the same gardener, John Stubbs, and found there was a housekeeper, Gwen Davies who came in three times a week, so he employed her as well. She was a well rounded woman in her forties and hit it off with him immediately. 

She also had the advantage of being broad minded, and seemed to expect wild parties and ensuing mess, and a succession of bedmates with the musician, not that any such ambitions of his lay in that direction, at least for the time being.

It was Gwen who suggested a distant cousin-by-marriage of hers who was an interior designer, to furnish the rest of the house. 

Karin Fredericksson arrived with books and catalogues and her very attractive self. She was only a little shorter than Ged without heels, and eye to eye with him when wearing them. 

She had a slender but shapely figure and long legs which she showed off with short skirts. Her hair was golden blonde, so perfect in colour that Ged wondered if it was dyed. He thought she was in her late twenties, and was surprised to find she was nearly five years older than that.

He showed her the rooms he had furnished, and she appraised them without comment. He wondered what she thought of them. They spent four long hours while she showed him catalogues and pattern books, noting his preferences on her laptop. When they had finished, Ged surprised her.

"Karin," he said with a smile. "I've noticed you've taken note of my preferences and we've chatted about quality and taste. So what I'd like you to do, is to furnish the house yourself. Let me give you parameters. Be economical, or at least as economical as you can, but do not sacrifice quality for economy. 

"You know my tastes and that I like simplicity and proportion. So with that in mind, do it yourself. If you get really stuck, ask, but otherwise you're on your own."

Karin gave him a brilliant smile, and he noticed for the first time her pale blue eyes and the shine of her thick golden hair. Her mouth was wide, her white teeth perfectly even and her nose small with a little upturn at the end. She was a goddess!

"Well," she said, laughing, "I can't remember anyone ever giving me so much latitude. I reckon if you want quality, we're talking around two hundred thousand. It's a big house, and in addition to wall coverings, decorators' costs, furniture and carpeting, you need decent table linen, towels, machinery for the utility room and the gym and you also need to get the kitchen properly kitted out. How do you feel about that?"




Music Man Pt. 02



"Go ahead," he replied. "This is the sort of thing I'll only do once, so it has to be good. I trust you. I'll open a dedicated account and give you the card to go with it. I'll put half a million in it, but you don't need to spend it all! "

She laughed at that, then hesitated for a fraction of a second, "The rooms you've completed – would you be upset if I tweaked them a little, or a lot?"

He understood immediately that she saw major faults in his taste, and nodded. "Do your worst – or rather, your best!"

Again that smile and a laugh, and this time if he read it right, there was a subtle invitation there, but he let it pass, at least for the time being.

So Christmas arrived and he was in his big empty house, and not just empty of people – empty of furniture. He felt his loneliness very powerfully so he went home to his parents for the holiday. When he returned after New Year he began to feel the house was too large for him. Perhaps he had made a mistake. On the first dark Friday evening of the New Year it all got too much for him and he phoned Vivienne.

"Ged!" she exclaimed. "We haven't seen you around lately, thanks to Christmas. Time for another practice? How you doin'?"

"Viv," he said quietly ignoring all the questions, "are you doing anything tonight?"

"No," she said with a hint of concern. "Got a problem?"

"Yes," he admitted. "You remember making me an offer a while back?"

"You want some TLC?" she asked.

"I need some company, Viv," he said plaintively. "Can you come?"

"That'll depend on your skill!" she laughed. "You're out in the sticks somewhere now aren't you? Give me the address. And Ged?"

"Yes?"

"Do I bring stuff for an overnight stay?"

"Please."

He gave her the address and instructions on how to reach it, and she promised to be there in half an hour. She was, and was in his bed in short order.

"Oh! That's it! Now push right in."

She had arrived and seeing the state of him, had taken him straight to bed. She had seated him on the side of the bed and undressed, or rather stripped for him, leaving on her fetching purple bra and matching mini-shorts while she knelt and undressed him in turn, taking him immediately in her mouth and giving him the oral works. He came in short order and she swallowed his offering with a lick of her lips and a wide smile. 

Then she had climbed on the bed, and let him strip her remaining flimsy garments off and do the same service for her, while she lay back with legs wide awaiting his attention.

He put his tongue to work and before long she was keening and groaning before erupting. Then she pulled him up and positioned him, hard again, with the aforementioned encouragement to 'Come inside love' [fond memories of Cilla Black, RIP].

Viv was the first he had had since Catherine, though he had masturbated almost daily thinking about the singer. Now he was inside his old friend and sparring partner, with whom he had had a dalliance years before. They knew they would never be an item, but the feeling was good and they felt at home in bed together.

Now he felt warmed, comforted and loved. He began to move slowly, fully penetrating her each time. She languidly reciprocated his movements with her own, pushing up to him. In due course they picked up speed and became more frantic, she came with a gasp and a shiver and he followed.

She held him within her as he slowly subsided. When he eventually slipped from her he rolled to her side and she cuddled up to him, her legs entwined with his, his arm round her holding her, as she idly played with the hairs on his chest.

In that position they both fell asleep without further talk.

Next morning he was awoken by her kiss as she brought him a mug of tea, him wondering how she had found her way round his kitchen so easily, and then she climbed into bed again. It was Saturday and there was nowhere he needed to be. Neither did she. It was lunchtime before they emerged sated, for coffee and pastries.

After the second cup of coffee, Vivienne brought up the subject she had been avoiding.

"Ged," she said. "About Cassie."

"What about her?" he said abruptly, his tone warning her off. "I've no further interest in her. She's married to Zak now. So," he said flatly, hoping to dissuade her from further discussion of the topic, "She's nothing to do with me any more. She decided to live with a liar and a cheat, and she's got what she wanted. Not my problem."

"Aren't you being a bit defeatist?"

"Viv," he said patiently. "If you go without sex for a while, how do you feel?"

"You know me," she gave a short laugh. "I find someone to scratch my itch."

"I went a year without sex," Ged said doggedly. "Women of all ages, and some of their mothers, made it very clear to me that they would share my bed. Some of them were very pretty. I turned them all down for that woman. 

"She knows what the tabloids are like, and those stupid celebrity mags. She found someone else, and she fucked him, over and over, in my bed, in my flat, and then she decided to marry him after a few months! 

"So no, I don't think I'm defeatist – defeated? Definitely! She could have waited until I got back and confronted me, but she didn't. She chose to betray our relationship. OK?"

"OK!" she responded briskly. "I understand. I thought you might want to take her back. I think she'd come if she knew the truth."

He did not make any reply to that, so the subject was accordingly dropped, and shortly after the coffee was finished, Vivienne went on her way after hugging and kissing him vigorously. 

"Great night, I needed that as much as you, I think!" were her parting words as she got into her car.

–– 

Chapter Fifteen

Over the previous weeks, Ged had gradually put Cassie behind him. The feelings of anger and betrayal had receded in the hectic life he was leading, but now everything surfaced again. At a basic level he desired her, but he rejected that feeling as his resentment took over and anger followed. However, the hole in his life had not been filled and so naturally he felt empty.

He had shopping to do, and writing all afternoon, so had to put such emotions behind him. However, when he returned home by taxi after an evening with the group at their favourite pub and was confronted by the empty house, he felt that yawning gap deep within him all over again, and he knew it was where Cassie had been, and cursed Viv for bringing it all back again. 

He took a bottle of malt whisky and drank one dram after another, until he could hardly stand to climb the stairs to bed. The bed swayed and so did the room, making him nauseous. Suddenly he was going to vomit and staggered in haste to the bathroom in time to void the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl. He retched for a while, then rinsed his mouth, took a drink of water, returned to bed and fell into a deep stupor.

Sunday morning he slept, waking after one in the afternoon. Miraculously he felt rested and well, with no hangover, but a decided need to brush his teeth. 

He remembered how he had felt the night before, empty and lonely, and he remembered why: he missed Cassie. 

Now in the cloudy and rain-soaked afternoon he thought better of it. It was just loneliness, he reasoned. Before this, he had lived with parents and then shared houses with other men and some women. This was the first time he had been completely alone. He'd get used to it, he assured himself.

Then the idea of a housewarming arose. He phoned Karin, who suggested early March. They agreed on a date and he made a list of guests.

He made some lunch and then spent the rest of the day writing.

The next day his father was taken seriously ill and he left to be with his mother. His father had not looked well at Christmas time, but neither parent had alluded to it as serious but the older man had in fact got a cancer which was quite advanced and diffuse, and he did not last long. There was nowhere else Ged needed to be – he could write anywhere. Then came his father's death and funeral. He stayed with his mother for a while afterwards.

Two months later, in early March, he returned to his house. He opened the front door and stood amazed. He went all over the house and every room was furnished and decorated. Each of the bedrooms had a theme or a predominant colour, everything was beautiful and tasteful and suddenly the house felt like home. He was entranced.

He phoned Karin, noting there were calls on his answer-phone.

"Karin!" he enthused. "It's absolutely perfect! You've made my house into a home. I love it! Can you come over?"

"Sorry Ged," she replied. "Busy tonight. Glad you like it anyway. I think you'll like the price as well."

"Well," he suggested, "When you can spare a minute or two, It would be good to see you – celebrate the brilliant work you've done. I want to throw a party in your honour."

"Tomorrow?" she asked.

"Come for dinner," he ventured. "About seven?"

"OK," she said. "I eat anything," and disconnected.

He suddenly felt jealous and wondered whom she was seeing. He immediately laughed at himself, and realised he fancied the woman. He smiled and wondered if that look he got from her when they were planning the furnishings meant he had a chance. He felt like a teenager again, pursuing a dream girl older than he was.

He pressed 'play' on the answer-phone. Two messages were from members of the group expressing condolences about his father; one was from Gus telling him his investments had gone through, and the last was Graham.

"Got the information on that account," he said after giving his own condolences. "It is Cassie Copthorne. We talked about this before. The DPP won't prosecute since she was your fiancée and you gave her access, but we can sue her for the money back and compensation for your inconvenience and your losses because of the bailiffs. What do you want to do? I think we'd win."

"Sue her," he replied curtly. "I want my money back."

"Will do," and he disconnected.

Saturday dawned bleak and windy. The clouds scudded across the sky and the rain fell intermittently all day. Ged went shopping, he needed to stock up on food after his absence, and to provide a suitable dinner for his interior designer. 

Karin arrived in a short little black dress, deeply décolleté. Her hair was up and she looked gorgeous. Ged broke into a wide smile as he took in the style and the amount of Karin that was on show.

He had prepared a starter of (bought in) paté on a bed of salad, with his own dressing, and toast, followed by Coq au Vin, with roasted vegetables and a herb mash. He finished with strawberries and cream. It was all served on the china she had chosen. The wine for the first two courses was a deep red Syrah, and there was a dessert wine for the strawberries.

His guest was impressed, all the more so because it was home cooking and to a high standard. She said so and her smile was inviting.

They took coffee in the smaller living room, drinking out of the china set, again chosen by her, with a Cointreau for her and a Cognac for him. In the soft armchair the skirt of her dress had ridden high on her thighs. He tried to avoid staring but failed, and time and again she caught him and smiled.

"You realise," she said eventually with a naughty smile, "that I came in my car. I can't possibly drive home after all this alcohol."

"You've furnished enough bedrooms to give you a lot of choice," said Ged. "Why don't you choose any one of them when it's time to retire?"

They talked decoration and furniture all night, with a selection of his songs playing in the background. Then it was time for bed.

She went to her car and came back with an overnight bag. "I thought I might have to stay," she explained, "so I came prepared." She gave him a knowing grin.

She preceded him up the stairs, and again almost all her perfect thighs were on show, almost up to her knickers. The perfect rotundity of her cheeks, hinted at by the movement of her dress entranced him. At the landing she stopped.

"Choose a room," he offered.

"This one," she said with a wicked giggle. 

"That's my room!" he said, surprised and somewhat perplexed, then with dawning hope.

"I know!" she said, and the giggle turned dirtier.

Her meaning was now clear, and his arms went round her waist from behind as he kissed her invitingly long sinuous neck. She shivered, and a little sound escaped her lips. Then she broke from him and walked into his room, unzipping her dress as she went. It fell to the floor and she walked out of it and over it without breaking her step.

Ged stared. She was in a black bra and high leg briefs, both plain, and below them a pair of hold up stockings. She looked over her shoulder at the frozen Ged.

"You coming?" she said coquettishly. "I hope so! Soon!"

"Er, yes!" he said. "I never saw anything as erotic as what you just did!"

She smiled and reached behind her to unsnap her bra, taking it off with her back to him. Her back was like the rest of her, a perfect flowing curve, the valley of her spine dipping enticingly. 

She pushed her knickers off her buttocks and allowed them to fall to the floor. Her bottom was, well, the perfection hinted at on the stairs, two exquisitely rounded orbs in a heart shape. Now all she was wearing were her stockings. She looked over her shoulder.

"You go to bed fully dressed?" she asked, as he was still standing gazing at her flawless nakedness. 

He seemed to awake, and hurriedly unfastened his cuffs, then unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off, unlatching his trousers and pushing them down over his erection along with his boxer shorts. He hopped about slipping off his socks until he was naked. 

It was only then that she turned to show him her own treasures. Neat medium breasts with small pointed nipples showing her desire, a flawless gently rounded stomach, dimpled tummy button, and a neat honey blond landing strip leading to the heaven beneath. He gazed until he realised everything had stopped. He looked at her face and saw she was staring fixedly at his rampant cock, then her eyes met his and she smiled that devilish smile.

"I don't do this with all my clients, you know," she said.

"I'm flattered," he answered, letting his eyes drift over her body.

"I'm glad I'm here with you." she said. "You have a pretty cock, and the rest of you is so toned. I know I'm going to enjoy this!"

They both did, for most of the night. The next day they did not rise until they had again coupled vigorously, had some tea and toast which Ged made, and then coupled yet again. Ged kept his orgasm that morning until the final session, and they both yelled as they came together.

"I really have to go soon," she murmured, "but I don't want to leave this beautiful body of yours." Even after so much activity, as she idly played with his cock, it began to stir.

"Oh God," she laughed, "not again?"

"Again!" he growled. "You do that to me!" as he came to nearly full hardness under her expert fingers.

She simply lay back, opened her already messy thighs wide and waited for him. He climbed over and plunged into her well-used wetness, fucking her wildly while she cried out her excitement and rising climax. His violence energised her and she urged him to plunder her harder, her language earthy and arousing for him. He came and she climaxed in response.

Once he had slipped from her, she leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom, where she first peed in full view of him as he lay in the destroyed bedclothes, and then showered. He knew he could join her, but preferred to look at her flawless though ravaged beauty, as she soaped herself above, around and below, casting ginning glances at him as she passed her hands over her neat breasts and across and into her sex.

He climbed out of bed, his penis at half-mast after her display, and her eyes grew wide at the sight. 

"Ged," she exclaimed. "Doesn't it ever get tired?"

"Not with you around," he said.

"Just in case you're wondering," she said. "I'm not with anyone at the moment."

"Neither am I," Ged responded, "but you know my position. I'm getting over someone who was very special to me, who I was sure was going to be with me for life. I'm not all that good at commitment at the moment."

"I don't mind," she said. "We can be friends with benefits. You really are something, you know."

"And you are stunningly beautiful, and erotically insatiable," he smiled. "I think we're good for each other."

"You talked of a house warming," she went on. "Any plans?"

"O God!" he blasphemed. "I said next Friday in my invitations, can you be there with me?" 

She nodded with a grin, "I'll bring my best nightie!"

"Can you come earlier and help me make plans?"

"Tomorrow?" she asked with a mischievous smile.

"Good idea," he laughed. "Business first and then..."

"Pleasure!" she cried, throwing her nakedly clean body into his arms, uncaring that he was hot and sweaty, and trying to ignore his rising excitement.

They hugged and then she dressed, collected her things and with a final hug and steamy kiss, a flick of her mini-skirt to show no knickers, and another dirty giggle, she was gone.

Ged was happy. He was actually aware that he was happy. It felt good, and he realised that he had been miserable for a long, long time. He put on a dressing gown and padded down to his study where he wrote a clever little love song for his interior designer.

The next day being Monday, he was deep into an arrangement of a song when the phone rang. He thought it would be Karin cancelling their meeting.

"Hello?"

Silence, but quiet sobbing.

"Hello?" he repeated. "Can I help you? Who's there?"

"Hello... Ged... It's Marie." More sobbing. 

He had to think for a moment who Marie was. Then it struck him. It was Cassie's sister. Marie was seventeen, and as pretty as Cassie, in fact she could pass for Cassie at first glance – same height, same hair, same length, same pretty face, though less mature, same body shape though again a little slimmer and slightly less developed.

"Marie?" he said. "What's the matter, darling?"

"Can I come an' see you?" she begged. "I know... I mean... Please?"

"Yes of course. Where are you?"

He picked her up at the station and brought her back to the house, silencing her expressions of thanks, and asking her to wait until they got to his house.

He sat her down and got her a glass of milk, which was what she requested. He got her a sandwich as well, which she ate hungrily. 

"Now," he said, when she had finished eating. "What's the matter?"

"You don't mind me coming here, after..."

"No, I don't mind at all," he said. "Cassie did what she thought was right. She was wrong, but she's always tried to do the right thing."

"I don't think you will want to help after I tell you."

"Try me."

Ged always had a lot of time for Marie, and she worshipped him with a huge crush.

"Dad got a second mortgage to pay for the wedding. Zak wanted a big wedding, and Dad obviously wanted the best for Cassie, though Mum and Dad don't like him – never have."

She paused as if to gather her strength. "I don't know how I can ask this but I don't know who else can help."

"As I said, my darling," he soothed her, "Try me."

"Dad also ran up a big debt on three credit cards. Now he's been made redundant and he can't pay the mortgage let alone the cards. We're going to lose the house," she wailed.

"Have you brought anything with you – bank details; card numbers?"

She nodded.

"Sure of me, weren't you?" Ged gave a half smile. She looked embarrassed. He ruffled her hair, which he knew she hated, but it showed her he was on her side.

They went into the 'office', where Ged looked over the documentation. The outstanding amount owing on the house was seventy thousand pounds, the three credit cards another twenty thousand.




Music Man Pt. 02



Ged went on line and transferred ninety thousand to his current account. Then he called up the home page of the bank to whom Marie's father owed the money, and used the password and identification she had brought to access the mortgage account. He transferred the money. Then did the same with each of the cards. 

"The wonders of the internet," he grinned at Marie, who was looking awestruck.

"But..." she stammered. "You've paid it all – the house I mean. But can you afford...?"

"Easily," he reassured her. "The band made a lot of money on the tour, you know, and we've only just come back. I also get royalties every time one of my songs is played. So don't worry."

She hugged him for a long time, her breasts were smaller, but somehow sharper than Cassie's. His penis began to stir. 

"I never thought you would," she murmured, "but I knew I had to try. It's making Dad ill." Then she started back from him. At first he thought she had felt his arousal, but she cried, "You've paid for Cassie's wedding!"

He felt relieved, "I've helped your Dad out of a hole that Cassie should never have put him in. I've always had a lot of time for your Mum and Dad. I'm doing this for them and for you. You need a home. Forget it."

"You know, Dad tried to get her to write to you; he was sure you had an explanation."

"I had, but that's all past and gone now. Too late – she's married someone else."

Ged took her back to the railway station, where she hugged and kissed him fervently again and he went home with a satisfied warmth pervading his mind, and another slight erection at the recollection of her abandoned hug. She was so very like Cassie, and his emotions did a little flip.

At the moment the train pulled out of the station, elsewhere in the city Cassie's life began to unravel.



Music Man Pt. 03



Chapter Sixteen

As the train carrying Marie pulled out of the station on its way south, Cassie was arriving home. She had a headache and had left early since she had no appointments that afternoon.

Zak was out at his new job. It was badly paid, but he had explained to her that he had been made redundant from his well paid job with a music agency, and that this was all he could find for the time being. Still, she thought, he can keep his self-respect.

She picked up the post and sorted it. Most of it was bills, but there was one large brown envelope addressed to her which looked official. She opened it and began to read. Then she sat down. It was from Pilkington and Sudbury Solicitors. 

The letter said that Pilkington and Sudbury had been retained by Mr Gerald Smith in connection with an unauthorised use of one of Mr Smith's bank accounts. The account in question was one in his name alone and out of which were paid all the outgoings in respect of the flat he had shared with her. In June the previous year an alteration had been made to this account without Mr Smith's knowledge or consent.

A Standing Order was placed with the bank which removed the exact amount Mr Smith paid in each month. It was removed the day after the payment arrived, and was to the value of three thousand pounds. As a result of this unauthorised withdrawal, none of the Direct Debit Payments were made from June onwards. 

The consequence was that when Mr Smith returned from his world tour, he found that his furniture had been repossessed, and the apartment about to be sold off to pay the balance on the mortgage. Mr Smith had thus been deprived of a place to live. 

The Standing Order which dispossessed Mr Smith of his property and his possessions was paid into Mrs Copthorne's own bank, and into an account in her name, the details of which were given. 

Mr Smith had instructed Messrs Pilkington and Sudbury to recover the moneys which Mrs Copthorne had taken from Mr Smith's account, amounting to eighteen thousand pounds. 

In addition, Mr Smith intended if necessary to sue Mrs Copthorne for the distress she had caused him, and for the extra expenses incurred by the loss of his property, and he had been advised by them to claim a further twenty thousand pounds for his distress and inconvenience, if paid out of court, or double that amount with costs if taken through the legal process.

Messrs Pilkington and Sudbury were waiting upon Mrs Copthorne for the amount of thirty eight thousand pounds, to be paid immediately. Should Mrs Copthorne dispute Mr Smith's right to recompense, the matter would be taken to court, where the damages claimed would be much higher, as instanced above.

Cassie sat dumbfounded. She had never touched Ged's account; she was grateful for his generosity in that he paid it all when she was unable to contribute and had continued even after she began work. She would never have done anything so spiteful and ungrateful. However, the account was in her name.

Ged must be behind this. He was trying to take revenge on her for marrying Zak. How had he managed to do it, though? He was a long way away in June. Then she realised he had access to the internet. He could have orchestrated this when he knew Zak and she were getting married. She was angry then and phoned Gus.

"Gus," she launched without any pleasantries. "What's Ged trying to pull? Suing me? This some sort of revenge for marrying Zak?"

"Hello, Cassie," said Gus with exaggerated politeness. "Surely you aren't trying to pin this on Ged? Listen, I was with him just after he arrived at the flat. He was totally at a loss. They stripped the place bare, Cassie. There was one filing cabinet and the computer without a keyboard or monitor. 

He was angry; you should have heard him talking to the bank. Then he learned you had Zak there in his bed and his own flat; that was pretty low of you, Cassie. After that he wanted nothing to do with the place, and it was sold off."

"He could have arranged it to get revenge for me marrying Zak."

"Cassie, if he did that, you can find out what happened to the money. It should all be there in that account of yours. If it isn't, there'll be evidence of where the money has gone. It will show if Ged has taken it back somehow. All I can tell you is that he's mad at you. And why? 

"First you promised him solemnly that you would talk with him before splitting up. You didn't. He was very upset that you wouldn't let him tell you what was really happening. You've made a big mistake there Cassie, and you devastated him beyond belief. And why? You wouldn't believe him or trust him enough to ask him what really happened. 

"Secondly you married that lazy, shifty Zak. Well, you've burnt your boats now."

"Well, if he is so unhappy, why hasn't he come and told me the truth?"

"You don't really know him at all, do you?" Gus was getting testy. "After you saying you didn't want to hear his excuses? After refusing to answer any of his emails or phone calls? You expect him to come running to you after you've married someone else? 

"But hear this: you know what he said to me when I suggested it? You were married to someone else now, and he didn't want to mess it up for you. Still thinking of you, you stupid woman. 

"If you want to know what a mess you've made of his life and probably yours, you'll have to go and ask him yourself. He won't come and tell you, and he's sworn those of us who do know to secrecy. Now I have work to do."

She sat holding the phone. The whole thing was unreal. What had he said? Go and look at the accounts. She resolved to do that the next day. Now she had to get their dinner ready. She wondered why everyone had it in for Zak. He was a good man. Look how he had supported her when she found out about Ged. 

That night, Zak went out with his mates, and Cassie was asleep when he returned. She was up before he was awake and went off to work.

In the destruction of Cassie's universe, the next event was truly a coincidence. Annette had no inkling of what Ged was doing; she had not seen him for weeks. Nevertheless, what had happened nagged at her until she could bear it no longer. She knew she had promised him not to acquaint Cassie with what had really happened, but she was going to break that promise. Everything about Ged's behaviour showed he was still in love with Cassie.

Cassie was speed reading yet another trashy novel destined for the rejection bin that morning, when the receptionist called her. Would she see two ladies who had a story to tell. She sighed and thought she needed a break. She could see two aspiring writers; anything to relieve the monotony of that novel.

"Ms Annette Fenster and Ms Susan Fenster," announced the receptionist, ushering them into he office. 

Cassie looked up smiling. "What can I do for you?" she asked, thinking how unlike each other they were for sisters. And didn't she know the taller woman from somewhere?

"You can listen to what I have to tell you. What you do after that I don't really care."

It was a strange beginning, but she was used to eccentric writers. Where did she know this woman from?

"Very well," she said primly. "I'm all ears."

"You haven't made the connection, have you?" the taller woman stated. "You don't remember me, do you?"

"You seem familiar-"

"Annette Fenster," she said aggressively. "Ring any bells?"

Suddenly, Cassie knew. "You're Ged's-"

"Friend," Annette asserted. "There are some things you need to know."

She took a file from her briefcase and laid it on Cassie's desk.

"He's sent you to lie for him? I know you two were lovers on the tour. I've got evidence."

"You don't," Annette snapped. "You know nothing but what you were meant to believe. You've been had, Miss Cassie Fenton." 

"It's Copthorne," Cassie retorted angrily.

"Oh, yes," smiled Annette grimly. "You married the bastard."

"Now look here-"

"No, you look here," Annette leant forward. "I was Ged's friend all during the tour, I stood by him when you trashed his life; when you made the biggest mistake of your own stupid life."

"I know you were sleeping with him."

"You don't."

"Prove it."

"This," Annette said, "is my civil partner, Susan. When we entered our civil partnership, she took my name. D'you see it now? I am a lesbian. I have no interest in men, that way. Susan was in a rather delicate occupation and needed to avoid the press until I reached Australia, we couldn't let it be known we were civil partners. 

"Ged was true to his word, as he always is, and kept our secret. I told you that I had a partner at home and that's why he felt safe with me. There was never anything sexual between us - he's not a woman. He and I are, though, very good friends and I can't go on letting him keep his innocence to himself. Why should you have your comfortable little life after you destroyed his?"

"Not exactly true is it Mz Fenster? You're not a lesbian, you're bi, aren't you?"

"You mean this photo?" said Annette, extracting it from the file. 

"That's the one. Conclusive I think."

"The other woman is Jessica Cohen, the wife of the Tour Manager, and her husband arrived shortly after the photo was taken."

"How do I know that's true?"

"I can give you the Cohen's address, you can ask them. We often went for a drink after finishing work."

Cassie began to feel uneasy. "But Amos sent us emails," she said, dreading the repost.

"Zak's best mate? You were really taken in by those two weren't you? Amos and his photos! Let's look at them, shall we?" and she brought out a stack of emails and photos from the file.

Cassie felt the ground slipping beneath her feet. It felt almost unreal. This was not the reality she had lived with over the last months. The woman must be lying, mustn't she?

Annette showed the photos Cassie had already seen of Annette and Ged. "Knowing I'm a lesbian, not bi, do these photos look any different?"

Cassie said nothing. It was obvious that if that were true, it showed they were just good friends. The kiss goodnight could just as easily be a peck between friends.

"We all kissed each other goodnight. Ged kissed Jessica. I kissed Jon Cohen."

Cassie began to panic and found her voice. "But the young girl? She was a groupie."

"Oh yes," smiled Annette bitterly, "Amos did a good stitch up there. Taken with a telephoto lens. The girl was a fan of Ged's, that's true, but she'd trapped her fingers in the lift door and was distressed. Ged took her to his room and ran her hand under cold water. Gave her a drink, put a plaster on the cut. I was there, though Amos made sure I didn't appear in the picture."

"But when she came out of the room she was carrying-"

"Her knickers as a trophy?" Annette put the two photos together. "Look carefully, very carefully - every detail - look at the doors in particular? See anything?"

For the first time Cassie looked very carefully at the doors. These photos were much clearer than the ones she had, and went pale.

"You've seen it haven't you?" said Annette. "Ged's room was 224, you can see the number as they go in. That girl is coming out of 324, a floor above - Amos's room. The reason she looks 'just fucked' is because she was, by Amos. God, if you look carefully, it's even a different girl! Both blondes, so no one looks further. It was a set up. You won't have seen these emails."

She gave the pile over to Cassie, who read them one after another, and looked and felt more and more unwell. A deep fear took hold of her.

Amos and Zak were crowing over how effective the deception was. Zak was telling Amos how Cassie had fallen for it, and now wanted him. His main aim seemed to be to take Cassie from Ged.

"You know that Amos did all this because Zak told him that Ged had taken you from him and he wanted you back. I don't think that was true was it?"

Cassie shook her head. "I finished with Zak for screwing another girl when he was with me. Ged came along months later.'

"Amos was conned and is not happy either. We got these off his laptop while on tour, and then told him." Annette gestured at the pile of paper.

Cassie's face was drained of colour, and she felt ready to faint.

"You mean," she stammered. "Zak's been lying? Ged was true to me all along?" She slumped in her chair.

"If you'd only carried out your promise to Ged, and asked him to explain fully. You're in this mess because you didn't keep your promise. I would have let Ged tell you - in fact he did tell you, but you can't have read his emails. He also told Cheryl."

"I just deleted his emails without reading them. We had the photos and the emails Amos sent to Denise, so Cheryl thought you were bi." Cassie stared ahead of her. "That's it then." That was the last thing she said.

"I think he still loves you," said Annette, patting her hand on the table. "Why don't you go and see him?"

"I can't," Cassie said beginning to weep quietly. "He thinks I stole his money and lost him the flat. I didn't - I don't understand."

She told Annette the story.

"Anyone else able to access his accounts?"

"No..." she paused. Then, "Wait. Zak was living with me at the flat. Surely not..."

"I'd have a good look at that account of yours if I were you."

Cassie left the office with Annette and Susan, after getting leave of absence.

Once home, Cassie accessed Zak's computer. She found Zak's notebook and his data for accessing a bank account in a different bank from the one she knew he used. She accessed the account and found it was in her name. 

She saw the money from Ged's account arrive and then money leave it for their normal joint account. The 'good job' did not exist. Zak's 'salary' was taken from the bogus account month by month; he had even made it an odd number of pounds and pence to allay suspicion. 

Now it was clear to her that Zak had gone into Ged's filing cabinet, found his bank account and set the Standing Order. She realised that he was not intelligent enough to understand it could be traced to him. She wondered what he did each day while she was at work since he had never been working since they married, but was never at home during the day.

She made a pot of tea and sat in the living room and gradually the enormity of Zak's deception and how much she had lost, began to become real. Suddenly she decided she could not stay another minute in that house. She could not understand how he could have said he loved her, and indeed been so loving to her, while cheating and deceiving her so deeply, but she knew she hated what he had done and now she hated him as well.

"Cheryl," she asked after identifying herself on the phone. "Something dreadful has happened. Can I come and stay with you a while?"

The tone of her voice told Cheryl that all was not well, and being a practical woman, she asked no questions, but told Cassie to stay as long as she wanted. She knew she'd get the story when Cassie arrived.

Cassie stood up and got some bin bags from the kitchen, loading all her clothes and toiletries into them as neatly as she could. Then she put them in her car. She went on line, printed off the false account, emptied it and closed it. She went to the other bank Zak had used, printed off the statement then closed the account there, collecting the balance which still showed just over two thousand pounds, and putting into her own personal account. Then she took her name off the joint account she and Zak held. Finally she visited the offices of Pilkington and Sudbury.

"I need to see Mr Pilkington urgently," she told the receptionist, who true to the nature of such, had to 'see if he was available'.

"Tell him it's Cassie Copthorne," she said. Graham emerged from his office immediately.

"Come in, Mrs Copthorne," he said with a smile. It flashed across her mind that he probably smiled at everyone who crossed his threshold. He offered her a seat and she sat across the desk from him.

"I've come about your letter," she began. "I've found out a lot of things since I received it and I hope you can help me."

"Do continue," he encouraged her.

"I've been badly misled, lied to and cheated," she went on, becoming distressed, "and I've been very stupid and lost the one man I always loved and needed. You probably know I lived with my husband in Ged's flat before we married?"

He nodded.

"My husband opened a false account in my name and set up the Standing order in Ged's account. He then transferred an amount to our joint account pretending it was a salary he was earning. I just trusted him.

"Here," she said, showing him the joint account and the false account. "See for yourself."

Graham studied the two documents. It seemed to be as the sad looking young woman said. He asked to copy the documents and she agreed readily.

"I'll need to consult Mr Smith over this," he said. "You realise your husband could go to prison over this?"

"I have no interest in what happens to him." asserted Cassie bitterly. "I never want to see him again. I've left him this morning, and I was hoping you could help me with a divorce."

"Well, Mrs Copthorne," he said with a frown, "since I represent Mr Smith, and he is in a dispute with you, there would be a conflict of interest at the moment, but I can recommend a very good lawyer for you. I also think that Mr Smith will drop the case against you once he knows what happened, in which case I could then represent you."

Cassie felt relieved. "Thank you," she said. "I have to find a way of apologising to Ged for what I have done. I feel so bad about it. He told me not to trust what I heard, and I promised not to break up with him without talking first. I broke my promise and now I've lost him. We were so good together," she finished wistfully, tears forming in her eyes. "I was taken in, but it's my own fault."

Having completed her business she went to Cheryl and Brian's house where she was welcomed, and told the story. Cheryl was amazed and upset, and wondered whether Denise was in on the lie. She assured Cassie she would find out.

Cassie settled into her bedroom and sat on the bed, wondering where to go from there. She felt defeated and lay down. She fell asleep almost immediately, even though it was mid-afternoon, and only awoke when Cheryl called her for dinner.

-- 

Chapter Seventeen

On the Monday afternoon of the same week that Cassie's life was once more turned upside down, Karin arrived at Ged's house as promised, and she turned out to have a real talent for organising parties. She phoned caterers, got a DJ, and with Ged organised the biggest through room in the house for dancing. They moved excess furniture into the garage and by the end of the day, everything was prepared.

That night she stayed. "I need reassurance," she said, "that last time wasn't an erotic dream."

Later that night, bent over the kitchen table, her little knickers round her knees, she learned that it was no dream. After he felt her come, her thong dropped to the floor and he pushed her to the stairs, where he took her from behind again, she leaning forward, braced on the stairs. 

Then after a joint shower and wet sudsy love-making therein, leading to a third orgasm for her, there was a romp in his bed when at last he came in her and she smiled a repleted smile. Then they slept, for she needed to be gone early the next morning.

There was time for only a shower, this time on her own, and a cereal breakfast, before she was away to a client meeting.

Ged went back to bed, exhausted. He had just laid himself down when his mobile rang.

"Just wanted to say thanks," came the female voice of his recent lover, "and to assure you that you are my favourite lover. Looking forward to Friday - I'll be there from two pm."

He said he was looking forward to her coming as well, and there came back a dirty laugh over the phone.




Music Man Pt. 03



He slept, and was awoken by the phone. It was Graham. Ged asked to phone him back and had a quick shower. Then he rang back.

"There's been a development," said Graham.

"Spill," said Ged.

"I had a visit from Mrs Cassie Copthorne," he said. "Things are more complicated than we thought. She brought documentation which I copied. It's obvious that it was Zachariah Copthorne who set up the account and transferred your money. The stupid man then transferred money monthly into their joint account as if it were his monthly salary. 

"She thought he had a good job. When we stopped the Order, he managed another month and then he told her he had been made redundant. He's got some dead end job now, judging from what he's bringing home."

"So Cassie is not the vengeful bitch I thought she was," Ged said thoughtfully. "I'm glad about that. It did seem out of character."

"You might like to know that she wants to divorce him and has moved out of the matrimonial home," Graham added.

"You representing her?"

"Couldn't - conflict of interest."

"You can now," said Ged. "Ring her and tell her I've withdrawn my suit against her, and that you can now take her case. I'll pay at the end of it, but you don't need to tell her that."

"Very generous," Graham averred. "You want me to go after Mr Copthorne I take it?"

"Oh, yes," said Ged, "and I think the police might get involved this time? He was in my flat without my permission and did it without Cassie's knowledge."

"Already done."

After the conversation, Ged could not settle. He had resigned himself to a life without Cassie because she was married, and now everything was open-ended again. He wondered if she might listen to his explanation now she was going to be free again.

He stopped himself abruptly. He had a vivid memory of those months on tour, knowing she was with Zak and eventually married to him. He remembered the feeling of desolation, of emptiness he felt day after day. He remembered his deep depression as he dragged himself out of yet another hotel bedroom to play the same stuff yet again. 

The only consolation was the re-invigoration of his creative flair, and especially his song 'Connie', as he called it. Then he reminisced over his time with Catherine Styles, and how she had helped heal him and given him a future. After Catherine he could live without Cassie. 

Then he thought about Karin. They had so much in common, and even if they never progressed beyond 'friends with benefits', he was happy with her, and could see that there would be other women who could fill his life. He was young; he had time.

Then he thought of Cassie and her beautiful face, hair and body, her long legs and sinuous neck, and felt unsettled again. "I'm conflicted," he said out loud to no one, "but I'm OK as I am."

He was delighted he had no preparations to make for the party; Karin had taken care of that. Wednesday and Thursday were busy. He had meetings with Gus and a final meeting with Leo and Amos, who apologised for his behaviour. 

"The bastard took me in as well," he said. "He painted you as the stuck up toff who took Cassie from him 'with your poncy ways' as he put it."

Ged told him it was too late to put it right, and life was too short to hold grudges, and while not exactly friends, they now had a certain respect for each other. 

Ged promised he would fill in if they needed him, but he was not going on any more tours, and he certainly would not play if Zak was playing.

Graham phoned him to say that he had sent off the solicitor's letter, similar to the one he had sent to Cassie, but there could be no divorce action until the couple had been married a year. However, he would keep her on the books until August, when the process could begin. After that, it should take about two months.

Friday dawned and Ged was up early. Gwen, his housekeeper, arrived and cleaned through the house, then prepared the rooms with his help. They worked well together, and at lunchtime Karin arrived, and the caterers shortly after. Gwen and Karin took over establishing the caterers in the kitchen. 

The party went well. It was not a hedonistic orgy which was a disappointment for the press who attended, invited by Karin. There were about one hundred and fifty guests, mainly from the music world, but many of Ged's friends past and present were there, as well as the folk group. Gus, Leo, Jon with Jessica, and Annette with Susan also arrived. 

Ged's bedroom and study were locked, but the other bedrooms were open, and afterwards there was evidence from the bedding that some couples had found privacy there. 

At eight o'clock, the DJ took a break and the crowd called for Vivienne's little folk group to perform some of Ged's songs. After some little time they got themselves together and entertained the guests. 

When they finished, Karin ran to him and hugged him. Thereafter Karin and he made the rounds of the guests as a couple, Ged introducing her as his house project manager, and everyone told her how impressed they were.

He was deep in conversation with a school friend of his when Annette tugged at his elbow.

"Ged," she said urgently, "You have another guest. Over there."

In the doorway of the room Ged saw Cassie standing quite still and looking directly at him. She was not dressed for a party, but was wearing jeans and a tee shirt. Then she turned and was gone.

He reacted. He didn't think, he ran, and reached the front door as her car turned out of the gate.

Again his emotional life was turned upside down. He had not seen her face for so long, and he was unnerved by the violence of his reaction. He was captivated again, as he had been when they first met. 

Why had she come uninvited to the party? Why dressed like that? Why leave as soon as she was seen? Why was she doing this to him? Anger and resentment inevitably followed.

He became aware of Karin by his side, taking his arm.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go back inside. You have guests."

He allowed himself to be led inside the house, and did his best to socialise, but his heart was no longer in it. Thankfully no one noticed except Annette and Susan, and of course Karin.

Eventually, in the early morning, the party wound down and the guests took their leave.

As Annette and Susan said their goodbyes, Annette told him, "There's plenty of time, Ged. I think you'll see her again. I don't think she knew about the party. She came to see you."

Ged thanked her absently, and they left. Once the house was shut up, Karin led him to bed.

"That girl," she said, as they undressed, exhausted. "She's the one who let you down, isn't she?"

"Yes," he said. "That's her. I just can't get over her arriving like that - no phone call, no warning."

"Come to bed," she said, and they climbed in naked and cuddled up. 

"You don't have to perform tonight, my stud," she said. "Let's just go to sleep."

They wrapped themselves round each other and were soon asleep, which surprised Ged when he awoke.

It was not the only surprise. Karin was already at work on his morning wood, and before he could warn her, he erupted into her mouth. She took it all, then sat up, an inevitable tendril of semen hanging from her lips. She rolled her tongue over her lips and engulfed the escapee.

"You use the bathroom," she suggested, "and I'll make some tea. Then you can make up for our lack of passion last night." She smiled, and there was no reproach in her comment.

He relieved his bladder and cleaned his teeth, and then decided to wake himself up with a shower. As he lathered and rinsed he remembered Cassie's appearance and rapid escape. The woman was a puzzle. 

Then he had an idea. She had left Zak and was to divorce him as soon as the marriage was a year old in August. So now she wanted Ged back did she? He was angry at that. She cut him off, married someone else and expected him to welcome her with open arms? No chance. He towelled off vigorously, putting all his anger into the action, and feeling the pain of it. It was good.

When he returned to the bed, Karin was lying nakedly waiting for him. She was idly fingering her sex and from time to time licking her fingers, whether to taste her juices, lubricate her dryness or simply to turn him on, he could not tell. It had the desired effect though. She stared brazenly at his naked body and Ged was inflamed with lust at her wantonness. 

He climbed over her and without any foreplay entered her strongly, and began to fuck her hard. All his anger at Cassie came out in that fucking: he slammed into the helpless woman beneath him, oblivious to everything except his lust and anger. He could hear her grunts, but paid no attention. As he reached his climax he felt her vagina clench on his penis and it was enough to explode into her.

He collapsed onto her, and then realised what he had done.

"Oh, Karin," he moaned. "I'm so sorry, so sorry."

To his surprise she giggled. "What are you sorry about? That was fantastic. I've always wanted to be taken like that - almost raped. I came like a train, didn't you feel it?"

He nodded with relief. "I don't know what came over me," he said.

"I do," she replied. "You're angry with your ex. and you took it out on me. I saw you towelling yourself down. That's why I fingered myself for you. I wanted to be ready for you to do it hard and violent this morning. That's what I got."

He warmed at her thoughtfulness

They dressed and spent the morning clearing up the debris from the night before. As Ged was finishing in the kitchen and Karin in the living room, his mobile rang.

"Hello?" 

"Ged, it's Cheryl."

"Not the Cheryl who cut me dead when I was desperate to prove I was innocent to Cassie, which resulted in her fucking and marrying Zak? Not that Cheryl?" Ged spat the words. "You had nothing to say to me then; I've nothing to say to you now."

And he hung up..

It rang again.

"Ged, please!"

At that moment Karin called from the dining room. "Darling, I think we'll have to wash these napkins."

"OK, love," answered Ged, and when he gave his attention to the phone again, it was dead.

"Bye Cheryl!" Ged said sarcastically to the disconnected phone.

Karin stayed for the morning and they went for a pub lunch before she left to go home. Ged retired to his study and tried to work, but Cassie and then Cheryl kept intruding, and in the end he went shopping, bought a more advanced digital voice recorder which had a range that could record music, then called up Viv for an evening drink.

She did not come home with him, saying that he was with Karin, and she was not into sharing. On Sunday he went for a long walk in the hills, taking his new toy with him, but he got no inspiration and did not use it.

The next week was spent in London, where Gus had insisted he met and got to know another solo artist, Gerard Frobisher. He was to discuss his songs and explain what led to their writing, agree on an arrangement of the music - the man worked with orchestras and swing bands rather than small groups - and be present at the recordings. He returned on Friday, which was Good Friday, in time to join the group at the pub. It was a long weekend holiday so the pub was unusually crowded.

When they had finished playing, there waiting for him was Cheryl. He had not seen her in the crowd.

"Please Ged," she said with obvious distress. "I'm very sorry. Please talk with me."

Ged sighed. "What are you drinking?" he asked.

-- 

Chapter Eighteen

Cassie Fenton, as she now resolved to be called, had a great deal of adjusting to do. A few days before, she was a happy woman, married to a man she had always fancied. She was clear about Ged who she believed had let her down so badly, nay betrayed her dreadfully, and from whom Zak had saved her. 

In two short days everything had been upended. Ged was innocent; Zak a criminal and a liar. She knew she had failed Ged and had hurt him very badly. 

She felt guilty, hopeless and depressed. She could have been married to Ged by then if she had only kept her word and restrained her anger. Now her life was hollow. Now there was little chance of getting back to the man with whom she had had the deepest relationship in which she had ever been: a real soul mate. 

She realised that while Zak was a good lover and good companion, they had never been as close as she had been with Ged. Added to which Zak was a lying, cheating bastard.

She went over and over it with Cheryl, and while Cheryl was patient, she knew Cassie was going nowhere. By Wednesday night she could stand no more. 

"Cassie," she said, interrupting another self-pitying monologue, "You can't go on like this. You have to go and see him. You have to apologise to him and bear his response. Even if he rejects you, at least you'll know where he stands, and you can start afresh."

Cassie went pale. "I... I don't think I could face him, Cheryl. Annette said he was a hair's breadth away from a breakdown and it was all my fault. No, I just can't."

If she felt guilty about things that night, the following night her guilt was made worse. She had only just arrived from work when her mobile rang. She saw it was her kid sister Marie, and she wondered if her breakup from Zak had reached her sister who might have told her family.

Fear gripped her and she did not answer it. She would have to tell them that all the money they had spent on the wedding was wasted. Her father had obviously spent more than he could afford to give her the big wedding she wanted. Well, Zak wanted it, and she wanted to please Zak. 

There it was again. Her relationship with Zak was one of wanting to please him, so unlike her love of Ged with whom she could just be herself. 

How could she have done that to her Dad? She remembered how they had tried to change her mind, how unhappy they were that she was marrying Zak. How right they were! Her father had repeatedly begged her to contact Ged. He had always liked Ged, and she obstinately refused.

Eventually she accessed voicemail to find out what Marie wanted. The message was brief.

"Cassie, ring me back. I have something important to tell you. It's about Dad."

Oh heavens, she thought, Dad's ill. She rang her sister.

"Marie, what's happened to Dad?" she babbled, "Is he all right? Shall I come home?" 

"Dad doesn't know I'm phoning you," her sister told her. "He doesn't want to upset you, but as it happens, I do!"

"Sorry?" Cassie was perplexed.

"I bloody hope you will be," her younger sibling spat. "Listen dear sister. Dad took out an second mortgage on the house to pay for your stupid flash wedding, and he maxed out all his credit cards. He was paying it all off a bit at a time, but you know he's lost his job?"

"No?" Cassie gasped. "How long?"

"Two months." she answered. "He couldn't pay the mortgage or the credit cards. The card owners were sending solicitors' letters, and the Building Society was getting ready to repossess the house. We had nowhere to go."

"But-"

"We nearly lost the house, Cassie. God knows where we'd have ended up."

"But-"

"How did we manage? I'll tell you. We were so desperate that I came to Manchester without Dad knowing and found Ged. I asked him for help."

"Marie!" Cassie was horrified. "How could you?"

"Look, we were desperate. I couldn't think of anyone else. I remembered Dad and Ged getting on so well. Dad forbad me to tell you we were in trouble. He hadn't told me not to talk to Ged though. You know what Ged did?"

"No, but I think I can guess."

"He took me to his house. Have you seen it? It's awesome! Massive!'

"Marie, what did he do?"

"He fed me, asked if I'd brought paperwork."

"And you had." Cassie knew Marie was supremely practical, more so than she was.

"Of course. You won't believe this!"

"What?"

"He paid off the credit cards, and get this - he's paid off the whole mortgage as well. The house is free and clear - he's given it to Mum and Dad."

Cassie thought for a moment. "How much?"

"The cards were twenty thousand, and house was seventy."

Cassie was lost for words. Ged had effectively paid for her wedding and more, he had supported the family he should have been a part of. She began to weep.

"Sis? Are you there?" Marie's voice was full of concern.

"Yes," she sobbed. "I'm here. How could he do that?"

"He loves you, you stupid twat!" her teenage sister replied with some exasperation. "Can't you see that?"

"No, not at the moment." she answered. She wondered at the courage of her sister, who would risk everything to save her parents, and Cassie herself had done nothing but be a worry to them.

"I know he loves our Dad," she continued, "but I don't think he will ever forgive me."

"Go and see him, you stupid cow," her adolescent sister abused her. "He's a good man. He's better than you think."

"Marie," Cassie said, "I know exactly how good he is, but I've hurt him beyond forgiveness. You have more sense than I have."

"Sis," she answered, "If I were older, I'd be fighting you for him. I almost made a play for him at his house, and you know how alike we are, he could have pretended I was you! I could have taken your place!" and she laughed loud, and Cassie somehow found comfort in that laugh. 

"My darling sister," Cassie told her, "You deserve him more than I do."

"I'm too young for him." Marie laughed, "and believe me, you do deserve him, and he deserves you." 

Cassie was silent for a moment, then, quietly and seriously to be sure Marie understood, she said, "You've done more for me tonight than you'll ever know. I love you, Sis."

"And I love you, or I wouldn't have told you this. Go get him, Sis!"

However, early on Friday night there was a distraction. A visitor.

Cassie had resolved at that moment to do just that. Even if he rejected her, she would have tried.

There was a ring at the door, and into the living room came Zak. They had just finished the meal and were having some coffee. It was Brian who let him in, and Cheryl and Cassie had heard a muffled conversation at the door. When Zak entered the room, Cheryl and Brian made their exit but left the door open.

"What the fuck are you doing?" was Zak's opening remark, glowering at her.

"What does it look like?" she snapped viciously back at him. "I'm living here for the present. I've left you and I'm getting a divorce as soon as the marriage is a year old."

"Listen, you stupid cunt," he snarled, "You're my wife. You belong at home with me. You don't really think that pansy boy will have you after you've been fucking me for over a year, do you?"

"Zak," she replied with exaggerated patience, "You don't seem to have grasped the situation. It makes no difference whether Ged wants me or not. I've left you because you are a evil, cheating, lying bastard and you repulse me."

"You were willing enough to fuck me when you found out about him on the tour." He looked smug.

Then he changed tack and became gentle. "He cheated on you, Cassie - you saw the photos. You came to me because we had a good thing going before he came on the scene, I do things for you, you know that. I get you off like no one else. I bet he never got you off like I do. You need me Cassie, and he's not going to be around for you."

"Sorry Zak," she said blandly, her tone making it clear she wasn't sorry at all, "You lied about Ged, you made up all that so called evidence and you destroyed our lives - and I mean mine and Ged's. About you I couldn't care less."

"Who told you that?" Zak looked worried for the first time. "Who's been getting at you? He was sleeping with that roadie, you saw the pictures - and then that little tart he had in his room, and they were just a sample."

"Zak, I know. I know what you hatched with Amos. I've seen the emails you wrote to him and that he wrote to you. You got me by lying to me, and by lying about Ged. He never cheated."




Music Man Pt. 03



"He did! That woman was all over him, they spent nights together in his room."

"Zak, you bloody fool, she's a lesbian, and she's got a civil partner. I've met them both, and I know who I believe. And your emails, Zak, Amos never deleted them. You admitted you fabricated the evidence. That 'tart' you mentioned, you know Ged was helping her out. Amos told you."

"She came out of his room looking fucked!"

"A different room, Zak. You know that perfectly well, and I didn't notice it, but she was coming out of Amos's room; the numbers were on the doors. It wasn't even the same girl if you looked closely! 

"And that's not the only lying and cheating you've done, is it? What about that Standing Order on Ged's account? You know, the one where you got into Ged's account and moved the bill money he put into it? You put the money into another account using my name. My name, Zak! Then you used the money to pretend you had a good job. 

"Coincidence was it that you got the job when your first standing order came in, and you lost it when Ged stopped the order? You really are a lowlife, Zak. We're finished. Go away and leave me alone. I never want to see you again."

"That bastard is suing me!" he stated, as if he had not heard her.

"Are you surprised?" she shot back. "You stole his money, he lost his flat because of you."

"Serves the bugger right," he smiled, and it was not a pleasant sight, "for stealing my woman."

"Fuck off, Zak!" she shouted hotly. "I'm not 'your' woman, and never have been, and it was months after I finished with you when I met Ged. That's another lie - this time to Amos, your best mate, saying Ged took me from you. You've no guts and no morals. I'm sorry I ever met you!"

"You were hot for me as soon as you saw me," Zak was shouting as well, "I bet you never felt hot for him that way!"

"You aren't very bright, are you Zak?" she muttered. "With you it was always just lust - just biology. You've never really had the whole of me. What Ged and I had was fuller, deeper and I'm not sorry to tell you now, that he gave me orgasms like you never did because we were soul mates. And," and here she smiled viciously, "He's bigger than you - in every dimension!"

She couldn't have cared less, nor had she ever noticed any difference in size, but Zak stared at her, his fists clenched at his sides and real anger and shame suffusing his face. 

"OK," he spat. "That's how you want it. Don't come crawling back when lover boy tells you to fuck off."

"If you were the very last man on earth," she said with some venom, "I would never come anywhere near you. I would choose anyone - get that Zak - anyone over you."

"You'll not get him," Zak said over his shoulder as he walked out. "I'll see to that." At that he stormed out.

Cassie felt fear. She had to tell Ged of Zak's threat at the very least. He needed to protect himself. She shouted Cheryl and told her she was going to Ged's place. Then realised she did not know where he lived.

Cheryl reminded her that Marie knew where he lived, and she was soon on her way with her younger sister's blessing in her ears.

As she drove out of town into the outer suburbs she noticed the houses getting bigger. Ged's house impressed her, but she was non-plussed by all the cars parked on the long drive and on the roads around.

She made her way to the front door expecting to knock, but found it open and the sound of a party inside. She walked in and arrived at a large room full of people drinking and chatting. 

At the far end of the room she saw Ged and her heart leapt, then plummeted as she took in the gorgeous blonde on his arm. They looked as if they belonged together; all their body language said they were an item. She assumed it was an engagement party and that she had lost him.

Then she saw Annette touch his arm and he looked over at her. She panicked and ran. In her car's mirror she saw him come to the front door as she drove out of the grounds. Further down the road she stopped; she was unable to drive through her tears. She had lost him.

Cheryl took one look at her when she arrived in the house and opened her arms. Cassie looked thoroughly woebegone and empty, and once in Cheryl's arms the tears came again.

"So you saw him?" said Cheryl, though it was more of a statement. Cassie was cried out.

"Not to speak to," she said. "I gatecrashed a party, and I think it was an engagement party - he was with a gorgeous woman, she was so pretty, and tall. Blondish, long legs, slender. She was on his arm, it was the look really. I think he's moved on."

Cassie was thoroughly depressed, and took herself off to bed. She lay awake for hours, not really thinking, feeling regret and self-loathing for what she had done. For the first time in her life, she felt she had no future. All that was left was day to day survival.

Next day Cheryl decided that for Cassie's sake they needed to know one way or another if Ged was still free, or engaged to someone else. She found his number in Cassie's mobile phone and called him. He rebuffed her but she phoned back after he cut her off, and then she heard Karin's voice in the background, and hung up.

But Cheryl was an optimist by nature, and she realised that Karin might just be a bedmate rather than a fiancée. She determined to talk to Ged. If he wouldn't talk to her on the phone she would find him and talk in person. She knew he would probably be with his group at the pub on Friday, and resolved to wait until then. 

Cheryl urged Cassie to go back to the house and try to see Ged, and hear it from him. She pointed out that Cassie had made a serious mistake not talking to Ged in the first place, and that here she was doing it again. 

Cassie saw the wisdom in that; how could she not? So on Monday evening she took her courage in both hands and arrived at the house to find it empty. She tried again on Wednesday and again on Thursday, and then realised he was away for the week. She sighed and gave up. It did not strike her that Ged's 'fiancée' was not in residence either.

Cheryl, however, did not give up. She would carry out her plan, unknown to Cassie. Ged would not escape her. She engaged Cassie as baby-sitter and went with Brian to the pub. The group was playing and Ged was there, though he looked tired. Cheryl wondered where he'd been that week.

By agreement, Brian left when the group finished, and Cheryl, summoning up all her courage went and stood behind Ged, and when he turned he was face to face.

"Please Ged," she said with obvious distress. "I'm very sorry. Please talk with me."

Ged sighed. "What are you drinking?" he asked.

--- 

Chapter Nineteen 

Ged and Cheryl went to a quiet corner of the pub and sat down, Ged sitting on the bench seat which ran the length of the room, and Cheryl opposite him.

"You rang off the second time," stated Ged.

He was not angry; he was not resentful that she had cornered him. He seemed unconcerned, distant.

"I heard your fiancée in the background." she said, looking him in the eye.

"Fiancée?" He seemed perplexed. "I'm not engaged."

"The party on Friday; not an engagement party? Cassie thought it was."

Realisation dawned on his face. "It was a house-warming party. You're thinking of Karin. She furnished the house for me, and wonderfully too. The party was as much a thank you to her as a housewarming."

"Then you're not...?" Cheryl's eyes lit up with hope, and he saw it.

"Not engaged," he said, "but we're sometime lovers." He knew it would upset her, but felt it was a sort of justice.

She was upset for Cassie, but not unduly so. She had a mission, to find our how things stood with Ged with regard to Cassie.

"Well," he said after a pause. "You wanted to see me?"

"Ged, I'm very sorry I did not believe you when you emailed me." she began. 

He said nothing. 

"It all seemed so cut and dried, the evidence..."

"You do know," Ged cut in, "that after the evidence has been heard in a court, the defence has a chance to counter it?"

She nodded, and felt guilty. Put that way her reaction had been totally wrong.

"A basic human right I think," he went on. "I knew Cassie's temper and her reaction to unfaithfulness, but you, Cheryl; you were always so fair."

Cheryl felt worse. "I can only say how sorry I am. I can see what it's done, my anger at you. I can see what it's done to Cassie. If I'd listened to you, I don't think she would ever have gone down the road she chose."

"So?" Ged asked.

"Before I go on," she said almost shyly, "Can you forgive me? Will you?"

Ged looked at her. She was a good woman, and she was loyal to Cassie, utterly loyal. He knew she had come to him on Cassie's behalf.

"I did that long ago," he said. "I still get angry because of what we have all lost, but let's get on."

"You know why I'm here," she said. "Cassie."

"Yes, I know you're here for her, but I don't know what exactly you want."

"Well, Ged, she's a real mess now. She feels she has no future any more. I'm worried about her, she's sinking into deeper and deeper depression. Everything she thought was true is false. 

"The man who she thought cared for her in her distress over you; the man whom she loved because of that care when she thought she had lost you, he turned out to have used her as a means of revenge against you. You know she used to go out with him before you?"

He nodded. "I couldn't work out why she hated the band so much, or come to that why Zak hated me so much, until she told me about him, and that he was a serial cheater. Knowing how she felt about cheating, I didn't worry about him being around while I was away. I never dreamed she'd go back to him. I don't understand that at all."

"Ged, when you first met her, how did you feel?"

"She was simply the most wonderfully beautiful woman I'd ever met. She was my ideal woman. I wanted her from that moment."

"Well," explained Cheryl, "When she first met Zak she fell for him in the same way. She's told me since that it was a biological urge - very primitive. She never had the rapport with him that she had with you. Even after she married him, they never really fitted together. He convinced her that he was a different man now, and she fell for it. Needless to say she is mortified that he took her in a second time."

"I don't follow."

"I think when she fell for you and it was so much deeper and more intimate than with Zak, she was ashamed she had fallen for him before, out of lust. She thought she should have waited - you were so much better for her."

"So what are you asking me?" Ged suspected she was asking him to just go back to her. That would not happen. Her response surprised him.

"She needs to clear up things with you. Obviously now she knows you were innocent she's beating herself up about it. She's going downhill fast now she's seen how she's been abused by Zak. I think she would benefit from talking with you."

Ged was at a loss. He could not see what he could do; how talking with her would help her. He began to suspect that the hidden agenda was she wanted him back.

"I think there is a hidden plan here," he said. "There is no chance we can go back together, if that's what she wants."

"I'm sure that's what she wants." Again Cheryl surprised him, then he remembered how straight and honest she always was. 

"But she doesn't know I'm here," she continued. "You know she went to your house three times this last week to see you? It took a lot of courage on her part. She's exhausted."

Ged sat and thought, and Cheryl waited. Eventually, being the man he was, he agreed.

"OK, Cheryl," he said with some resignation. "I can't see how it will help her, but most of our troubles have come about because she did not talk. How do you suggest we do this?"

"How about tomorrow afternoon?" she asked. "Brian and I and the little one are going to his parents for the long weekend. You can have our house. It's almost neutral ground."

"Phone me to confirm," he said and then surprised her again. He stood, came round the table and kissed her cheek. 

"See you," he said, and smiled. She knew she had been forgiven. Perhaps he could forgive Cassie as well? The optimist in her speeded her return home.

As soon as she got inside the door she called Cassie.

"Tomorrow afternoon," she enthused, "Ged is coming here. I went to see him at the pub and he's agreed to come here. We won't be here so you'll have some peace."

To Cheryl's surprise Cassie looked apprehensive.

"Don't worry," Cheryl said. "He'll probably give you a hard time, but you can both talk it out. By the way, the party was a housewarming, and he isn't engaged to that woman."

Cassie was surprised and elated at first. Ged might be having flings with other women, but he was not settling with them, at least she hoped not. 

However, after psyching herself up three times to go and see her ex-fiancé and failing each time to find him at home, she was not ready or really eager for this, but Cheryl had arranged it and it would happen. She felt now that it was unlikely to do any good.

As she lay in bed she played the events of the past year over and over in her mind. By turns her reaction against Ged horrified and perplexed her. She remembered clearly twice making that solemn promise to Ged to talk things through before making decisions about their lives together. 

She remembered just as clearly his injunction not to listen to the press. In self-justification she had been given that additional false 'proof' of his dalliance with Annette and the other girl. It was comprehensive and convincing, but she wished she had examined the photos more closely, for the lie was clear once one looked at the door numbers. 

It would have got her wondering and the wondering would have led to questioning, and the questioning might have delayed her enough to talk with him at length before making a decision.

Suddenly she felt resentful. Here she was feeling guilty about the way she had treated Ged, when she was as much a victim of Zak's deception as Ged was. Both of them had suffered terribly. She remembered the days of weeping and depression, those first days when she would not even get out of bed except to struggle to work, she was so distraught. 

Yes, Ged had suffered from her intense reaction, and that was what it was, and how she wished she had held off and thought about things, but everyone who saw the pictures and read the emails were convinced he was cheating on her. She remembered words they used - 'callous', 'insensitive', thoughtless', 'selfish', 'heartless'. 

All her friends had fallen for Zak's lies, not just she herself. She realised that there had been a lot of pressure on her - well-meaning pressure - to exact revenge on Ged. It was early morning when she eventually slept, and she woke to the sound of Brian and Cheryl and the baby having breakfast and getting ready to go to his parents.

She lay in bed and felt that sinking feeling of fear about the coming meeting. She began to worry that it would do more harm than good. Perhaps it was too early for her, or perhaps he resented Cheryl setting it up. She shrugged; too late now, she could hardly put him off. She wandered round the house, and then went for a walk to fill the time, not being able to settle to anything. At two o'clock the doorbell rang.

-- 

Ged went home from the Friday meeting with very mixed feelings. He had been unsettled by seeing Cassie at the party after so long, and getting all the feelings he had had when he first met her in the Students' Union. 

She looked lost and lonely as she stood in the doorway at the party, and he had automatically gone to her. He thought about that event as he went home and felt resentful that he should be so affected by her, after what she'd done to him and his hopes.

No sooner had he reached home he left again went to see his mother. He was all she had and he knew how lonely she was since his father had died. As he drove there, he went over all the events of the tour, and the remembrance of the feelings he had then, surfaced one again. 

Cassie had hurt him very deeply, though now the feelings were now less acute. The bereavement was still there. There were so many things to cause him pain. She had gone to Zak so quickly, she had taken Zak into their flat, for which he was paying, and into their bed, which thankfully had been repossessed by the bailiffs. 

As with all such breakdowns in relationships, he needed to know why. As he arrived at his mother's house, it came home to him powerfully how his mother must be feeling the same sense of loss.

After a long chat with her, he drove back home. He did not resent Cheryl's intervention, and was surprised that Cassie had tried to see him while he was in London, indeed that she had tried repeatedly to do so. 

He admired her persistence and against all his better judgement warmed towards her. Emotions are difficult to control, and he noticed the feeling and resented it. Indeed resentment was his predominant emotion in general, but if pressed he would not have been able to say about what or whom he was resentful. There was that yawning sense of emptiness, as he thought of their previous life together. There was a sense of futility as he thought of what could have been.

He sat and drank a few whiskies which made him sleepy, and unlike Cassie, he fell deeply asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.

After a morning nursing a headache which he ruefully realised he richly deserved, and like Cassie some miles away, being unable to settle to any work, he set off for Cheryl and Brian's and a meeting he dreaded. 

There was a scintilla of hope, a hope for something positive from his ex-fiancée, but that hope was thoroughly repressed. He rang the bell.

-- 

Chapter Twenty

"Hello Ged."

"Hello Cassie."

She had the wildest dream that when she opened the door he would hold his arms out to her and she would fall into them and from then everything would be all right, but of course it did not happen. He stood there with a neutral expression on his face and waited to be invited in. In fact he had seen the message in her face, but couldn't respond.

She stood back and he entered, waiting for her to lead him to the living room, though he had been to the house many times and knew perfectly well where it was. She indicated the armchair, and he appreciated her delicacy in leaving the sofa to herself, allowing him to keep his distance.

"Let's skip the pleasantries," she said. "They'll only be awkward."

He agreed with a nod. 

"So," he said. "Do you want to start?"

"Will you let me talk until I finish?" she asked. "Then I'll do the same for you. After that we can ask each other questions. Is that OK?"

Again he nodded, and she steeled herself to begin. He saw it.

"You're going to want to interrupt. Please don't," she began. 

It was an aggressive start, but she remembered her sleepless night and still felt weary. He had not been the only one to suffer. It was a relief that he seemed quite quiet and relaxed. Perhaps this would go well.

He thought for a moment how strange it was, Cassie and he talking at a distance who had once been so close, but that was the way of it. He prepared to listen and understand. He felt the strong tug of her beauty but refused to respond to it.

"First of all, I'm humbly asking your forgiveness for breaking my promise to you not to break up without talking it through with you. I accept the blame totally, and it is because of my foolishness in that regard that we are in this mess now."

He smiled and with a gesture accepted her apology and showed he had let it go. She smiled in gratitude.

"I won't try to excuse my behaviour, but I will talk about it later."

She took a breath, as she thought of her next statement.

"I will not apologise for believing the press, though I promised not to, because I didn't believe them - until I saw the emails and extra photos from Wendy, who got them from Amos. We had no way of knowing that Amos had an agenda, as far as we were concerned he was just writing to his girlfriend about the tour. That's what made the emails so convincing. If we'd known Zak was involved as well...




Music Man Pt. 03



"Wendy had always been a good friend to me, and I fell for the trick Zak and Amos played when Amos got her to give them to me. Those two knew I would smell a rat if Zak gave them to me. The press reports and the emails agreed totally, that's why I believed them. I have since read the emails between Amos and Zak, and they sicken me." 

Another breath and a pause.

"I didn't just believe everything right away either, but I showed what I had to a good number of friends, mine and ours, and they all, without exception, agreed you were guilty. That's what pushed me over the edge, the unanimity and violence of their reaction. 

"I can't remember a time I was so angry, or felt so betrayed and let down as I did then. Your actions seemed so callous, so casual, and I thought your emails were so hypocritical sighing that you longed to be with me, and how lonely and home-sick you were. All the while you were sleeping with more than one woman."

Ged made to interrupt, but she continued, overriding his attempt.

"Oh, I know it was all groundless now, but I did not know that then. I lost it completely; you should ask Cheryl or Julie what my state of mind was, and the advice they gave me, which I heeded, and now wish I hadn't. 

"They were telling me to get my own back, and in the middle of it all there was Zak, suddenly on the scene, and giving gentle sympathy. He was clever. He never pushed himself forward, just listened, which was unusual for him. He said he had changed, and it seemed he had."

She took a drink of water from the glass on the table.

"You need to understand how distressed, hopeless and yes, lonely I felt. My future was always and completely with you, and now there was nothing. Zak was there. 

"As I say, he assured me he had changed; he even lied about that. He said he left the band because he realised that he'd lost me by living their way. He said you had fallen into their ways. Impossible not to. Our relationship grew slowly-"

Here Ged let out a snort of derision. "Slowly? Beginning to marriage in eight or nine months!"

"Ged," she snapped, "You said you'd wait."

"Sorry, but-"

"Yes, I know. What I meant is that he took it slowly. Not like the first time with him. It was as if I was in a dream; I just fell in with his plans. He was the best future I could see in the circumstances. I'm sorry, but I was so depressed, I was apathetic.

"Ged, it was a horrid mistake. I hurt you very badly. I admit it and ask your forgiveness. You were hurt, but you've no idea how much I was hurt at the time. How d'you think I feel now having been manipulated and used by Zak as a tool for some misguided revenge against you?

"Please, I'm begging you, I love you so much, you are still my life, and now I know you were always faithful. I've been faithful too; I have not cheated. I finished with you misguidedly, before going anywhere near Zak. My mistake was believing so much cleverly presented concerted 'evidence'. You've been with other women since as well. I can live with that. Is there any chance for us?"

She looked at him. He sat still, stony faced. No answer.

"That's it." she said at last, as the silence grew. "I'm telling you I want to start again with you. Any way you want. You were always my life and my future, and you still are. I've said my piece. Your turn."

She could tell from his face, which she could always read, that her plea had failed. She steeled herself for his response.

For his part, Ged, had been expecting something like this. It was not good enough for him. On one level he ached for this beautiful woman. He longed to reach out to her, but that in itself provoked the most intense resentment and anger. He struggled with himself to maintain an even keel.

"I can see how it's quite clear to you. You had a relationship with me. You thought I cheated. You rejected me. You married someone else. It turned out you had been duped. You rejected the man who tricked you. Now you want to go back to your previous lover. Sorry, In my case it doesn't work like that."

He paused, noting she understood clearly what he was saying. He needed to get answers. He thought he would set out his position and then ask questions.

"There are problems with what you say, which you haven't addressed. I have questions, but first I want you to see how it appears to me.

"It concerns two things, and as far as I can see they are linked closely, and I think they rule out us getting together again.

"You met Zak long before you met me. You were bowled over by him, and you fell in love with him. He was the love of your life and you gave yourself to him totally. He did something for you that no one else ever did."

He looked at her inviting her agreement and she nodded.

"Then he cheated. You had done everything in your power to keep him and he cheated. With a blonde, I believe. You dumped him. Completely. Absolutely. Permanently. 

"After a while you found me. You saw my reaction to you, how I fell completely in love with you, but as far as I can understand now, I must have been a substitute for him. You took me because he had rubbished you. I think after what has happened - the speed you married him - you always longed for him, you never got over him."

"No that's not-"

"I kept quiet for you. You do the same." He snapped. His tone was cold. She flinched and pressed her lips together.

"What I'm doing here is showing you how it looks to me, and I think this is the real way it is. When I started with that bloody band you were vehemently against them. You recited their moral failings to me again and again, and Zak's in particular, but you took up with him and married him in short order in spite of that!

"That's what shows me how much you still wanted him. I was second best, but when it seemed I had cheated, you then had chance of a way back to Zak, especially if as you say, he showed he had changed into a faithful partner. That's why you dumped me so easily and so completely and didn't want to hear anything I had to say in my defence. My defence would get in the way of your return to your first and best love. 

"As far as you were concerned, the only two men you really loved both cheated. Did you treat them the same? No. You finished with both, but then you went back to your first. You wouldn't have come back to me, would you?

"The second thing is this. You lapped up his protestations that he had changed. You then took him into my flat - that I was paying for. You took him into our bed. 

"That must have erased me from your life completely. I bet the two of you had a real laugh that you were living at my expense! That was vindictive and vengeful. I don't know whether I can ever forgive that.

"Zak was always the number one in your life. He was the one you craved sexually. I bet he had the cock you adored, now you could get him for good. 

"And that's the other thing that proves you always really wanted him: you got engaged and then got married incredibly fast! You didn't even let me know! I had to find out from other people. You've no idea how some of them crowed about that.

"Now? You find that the number one in your life was playing you for a fool all along. What will you do? Go back to good old Ged. He might be second best, but if you play on his good nature you might be able to make a life with him. From the size of his house he's making a packet out of his music, he'll be a gravy train for life.

"Sorry Cassie, it won't work. You blew it. Now you live with it."

The bitterness came leaking out. She began to speak but he still hadn't finished.

"What I can't understand is why you hated me so much, that in addition to dumping me, you had to trample all over me by having Zak in my flat and our bed. He has a house; you could have gone there. You went there eventually after you married him, didn't you? 

"Cassie, having him in my flat was really nasty. I learned about it from Gus. I was alone out on tour, no way back. I had done nothing wrong and you were fucking the bastard in my flat; you can imagine the images I had so far away. You lived there with him rent free, electricity and gas free, council tax free. You knew perfectly well that I was paying for that. How could you do that with him and live with yourself?

"Zak must be quite a stud, mustn't he? How do you think it felt living a celibate life and imagining you screaming with pleasure on his big cock, sucking on him, riding him, showering with him, being taken from behind and yelling encouragement? Wonderful experience that was. You think I could trust you again after that? Next time my inadequate little tool was not enough, would you be going after some other guy's big cock?

"It hurt me Cassie, being helpless. I know you never even read my emails, because Annette gave me permission to tell you she was a lesbian, even giving her partner's phone number so you could check. You never even read them! Why didn't you read them? Why?" 

The last word came out as a cry. He had been sitting on the edge of the chair and now he sank back, defeat written all over him.

She gazed at him in sudden appreciation. Until then she had not truly grasped how it felt from his point of view, stuck thousands of miles from home, and the love of his life refusing to listen to him, refusing any explanation, leaving him in limbo, while he learned she was seeing the man who had cheated on her before. 

She had not thought how it would be for him imagining them having sex. She had not thought what an insult it was to bring Zak into the flat. She had done it because it was home to her, nothing more. Indeed, so wrapped up in her own feelings was she, that she had not really thought about Ged's feelings at all.

Now she realised that his hurt ran immensely deep and could have killed his love for her. She had wanted to explain her position and her hurt, and had learned about his. He was talking again remaining collapsed in the chair.

"In addition to all that, I think you still prefer Zak over me. I think you still crave the sex. Why else would you be so keen on marrying him? We lived together for ages and were not even thinking of marrying, even immediately after I got back. We were both earning enough; he was earning nothing! 

You still married him even though he had nothing. You could have stayed living with him until I got back and then you could have confronted me. Why did you marry him, Cassie?"

Was that true, she asked herself. And she realised she had never asked the question why she married him rather than simply living with him. She never even thought he was sponging off her, which now she could see clearly, he was.

"Please, Ged," she pleaded. "About Zak's animalistic sex appeal? Yes, you're right, he does attract me sexually, but with you there is the same sexual attraction and in addition we are soul mates. Zak might have sex appeal, but that's all it is.You reach the whole me. You filled the whole of my life, the attraction was not just sex, so much more, that's what hurt me so much."

His look of disbelief angered her. "You married him because he turned you on sexually and nothing else? That was all?"

"No Ged-"

"And you say we were soul mates," Ged went on. "I fail to see how a soul mate could do what you did. It's a load of rubbish!"

"OK, Ged," she snapped, her patience exhausted. "So you don't believe me. I now understand very keenly how you felt thanks to my stupidity, but I suffered too and you are choosing to ignore that. 

"I've told you the truth, but I can see I'm getting nowhere. I don't understand the intensity of some of my actions, except in terms of a mental breakdown, but you aren't really interested in that are you? 

"You need to remember that we're both victims here and we've both suffered a lot. Perhaps when you're not so wrapped up in your own hurt, you'll start to consider mine as well. The evidence was false, but my pain was and still is real.

"Go back to your casual women, Ged. I won't take up any more of your time. I can see from your point of view it's never going to work for us ever again. Why don't you just go?"

Ged was surprised by her outburst. He was nonplussed. He had come to her full of his own resentment, expecting grovelling apologies and desperate pleas to go back together. Admittedly she had humbly apologised, and told him how she saw it.

She had made it clear she wanted him back. She made it just as clear that her relationship with him was deeper than Zak's. He found that impossible to believe in view of her hasty marriage. And now she was angry with him! He couldn't believe how it had turned out.

He stood up and left. As he reached the front door, he heard her voice, broken through her tears.

"You fucking fool, Ged," she shouted, sobbing. "If it bothers you so much, your cock is bigger than his, and your orgasms were always much better, you stupid prat. Fuck off!"

He left, his mind a blank, but his emotions in turmoil. He knew when she shouted at him and after him, that she had told the truth, and that she had been as big a victim as he had been. He could hear the hurt in her.

He now realised she might even have suffered more than he had, though why that could be, he didn't know, and it was all for nothing. Nevertheless he still felt that the space between them was now too great. She had been with his enemy and once again in his mind's eye he could see the two of them rutting together in his flat without a care in the world.

He stood a while outside the front door of the house, then with a sigh he turned away and went back to his own empty place.

Cassie sat and cried. She had half expected this outcome, but the reality was much worse than the expectation. In time she began to question herself.

Why had she taken Zak to the flat, made love with him in Ged's bed? Why hadn't it been obvious how heinous such an act was?

She searched back in her memory. Zak had walked her home, and she had invited him in for coffee. The inevitable followed. She had tried to resist, but her emotional stamina was gone, and she had felt empty. She just wanted at that moment to be held, and loved. And Zak had held her and stroked her head - at first. 

Then gradually his hands strayed and touched her breasts as if by mistake. Then her back and she began to want more. She must have turned to allow access, for his hands had grazed her breasts again and again, then strayed down to her groin. 

Then she was struggling out of her jeans and pulling her teeshirt over her head, and he was shedding his clothes. She remembered seeing his naked fit and toned body and wanting it. She wanted him to fill her emptiness now that Ged was gone, and he had filled her, and they had coupled, gently at first and then in her anger very violently. She had got on top of him and slammed down on him again and again until she had come, tears streaming down her face. 

It had never entered her head before that this was an act of hatred for Ged. It never was even in that frantic fucking. She was trying to exorcise him from her love; anger it might have been, but it was not hatred, at least not then.

Then Zak would come round regularly, and they would talk and then end up in bed. She hungered for the comfort of his body, to feel loved and cherished by someone, anyone. And Zak was there, day after day. 

Ged did not come into it. It was not revenge, she knew that. Eventually Zak stayed, though he had his own house. She had never thought about it at the time and she was horrified at how Ged saw her actions. How stupid all this was! 

Then there was Ged's preoccupation with Zak's sex appeal? She realised it was a male thing, but in reality there was no comparison between them. Her love and her intimacy and sharing with Ged was infinitely deeper and stronger than with Zak, and it deepened her sensations immeasurably. 

Indeed now she thought about it, she was constantly comparing her life with Zak, even after they married, with what she used to have with Ged, and always finding Zak wanting. She always knew Zak was second best, but she needed someone who would love her.  

There was no real sharing with Zak, he had his own thoughts which he kept to himself, and he did his own thing, not telling her where he went or what he did. She was glad for what she could get. There was a lot she did not know about him, whereas Ged was an open book and she opened to him in the same way.

She wondered whether seducing her in Ged's flat was yet another of Zak's plans to make the break permanent, another act of revenge. It was a sobering idea, and in the cold light of day she thought, likely.

She made some tea, and sat and drank it, alone in the house. And miles away, Ged sipped his own tea and felt as alone as she did. 

-- 

Chapter Twenty One

Cassie was still sitting there when Cheryl phoned. Her tears had dried, and she simply felt washed out and hopeless.

"What happened?" Cheryl asked, full of concern at her tone. "It didn't go well?"

"I got Ged wrong," said Cassie morosely. "I thought all I needed to do was to let him see what it looked like from my side, and he would warm towards me. It wasn't like that. It was the broken promise about talking before breaking up. 

"I never understood how hurt and cut off he was, far from home and unable to reach me because I cut him off. He told me he emailed to explain, including Annette being a lesbian, and I junked them without reading them. If I'd read them this would probably not have happened.

"The other thing that got to him was my living in his flat with Zak. He thinks I did that out of hatred for him; I think he called it vicious."

"You put him right on that, I hope," Cheryl said.

"That's not all. He reckons that Zak has always been number one in my life, and that Ged was always the second best substitute. He said that as soon as the chance came to get back with Zak, I took the opportunity to cut Ged off by refusing to listen to him. He reckoned Zak was a much better lover, with better... equipment."

"Was he?" asked Cheryl. 

"No, no, no!" Cassie cried. "Zak was a good lover, considerate and passionate, but Ged was just as good - better in many ways."

"I hope you told Ged he was always better?"

"No." she answered, "I told him the truth. I told him he was as good sexually as Zak, but that sex with Ged was always more intense and more complete. At least I think I did."

"That's you," Cheryl observed, "You tell the truth when a little lie would be better. You've always been so honest! So what happened then?"

"He didn't believe me."

"He what?"

"You heard." Cassie said. "I told him to go. We weren't getting anywhere."

"Oh, hell!" muttered Cheryl, who had high hopes for their meeting.

"I think it's truly over, Cheryl," she said. "He's not got over the fact that I married Zak so quickly, or that I left him innocent and lonely so far away from me. I'll look for a flat on Monday."

Then she gave a cry. "I never thanked him for what he did for Dad, and I shouted abuse at him as he left."

"Cassie," Cheryl advised, "If he sees you more often he might soften. Go and apologise and thank him. There's a good chance that he still loves you. I'm sure of it."

"He did once." Cassie answered. "Not any more, but I need to see him anyway. I can't let what he did for Dad go by without thanking him, and I will apologise for what I said when he left."

She had also totally forgotten about Zak's threat, and that she had never warned Ged about it.

-- 

Ged had little time to ponder over his exchange with Cassie. He finished his tea and was washing his cup when the doorbell rang and, wiping his hands of the tea towel, he went to the door.





Music Man Pt. 03



There stood Karin. "I was just passing on my way back from Crewe and I thought I'd look you up. Doing anything?"

Ged shrugged. "No, nothing. Want to stay over?"

"I thought you would never ask. Let's go to the pub and grab some food, and then find something to do when we get back." She grinned at him knowingly.

They walked to the pub and had a good, if plain, meal and followed it with a few drinks. Ged found Karin an easy companion, and they chatted about his songs and his trip to London. She told him eagerly about how her business had taken off since his housewarming, the guests being impressed with the look of the house, and were spreading the word. 

They strolled back to the house arm in arm and took a bottle of wine and two glasses to the bedroom, where Karin stripped off her clothes in her inimitable sexy way and slid into bed naked. The action was so amazingly smooth, and Ged watched with admiration until Karin once again had to remind him he was still dressed, and so was not a lot of good to her in that condition. Thereupon he rapidly cast off his clothing and leapt on top of her, his rampant cock swinging enticingly before her admiring eyes.

He lay atop her, holding her hands to the bed in his, and rearing over her. She raised a thigh and caressed his cock and balls with it, smiling all the while, until his kiss stopped it. He drew away and they gazed into each other's eyes before he knelt up, his legs between hers.

Now her hands were free, she took his penis and began to stroke him with one hand while cupping his balls with the other. She then dragged a finger across his perineum and up the crack of his bottom, until she found his anus, which she gently stroked with her fingernail. He gasped at the sensation and she smiled another knowing smile.

In return he took her breasts and stroked around their fullness, avoiding the nipples at first, until she pushed her chest at him in a wordless entreaty to attend to them. At this he took the flat of each palm over them, before pinching them quite hard and gaining an appreciative gasp of satisfaction from her.

"I love it when you do that!" she smouldered.

"I love it when you do that," he replied, referring to her finger which journeyed to and fro, from balls to anus and back again, scratching gently with her long fingernail as before.

"I'm wet," she observed, "Put it up me, please, my love." She widened her legs to receive him the more easily.

He lay between her limbs, and moved towards her. She took him in hand and guided him in, groaning in satisfaction as he stretched her and pushed deep. 

"Oh, yes," she whispered in his ear, as he bent to kiss her, pulling and pushing gently, feeling her gripping him, soft and warm, while she relished the fulness of him within her.

From there the love-making, for that is what it was, took its course, becoming more intense and strong as their passions rose and their guttural noises spurred them on to more violent action, until she came loudly, bucking and writhing under him as he rode her through her climax, releasing his gift to her as she came slowly down.

"You are some lover," she said, as they lay, he on his back and she at his side, her head on his shoulder. She played with the hairs on his chest, delighting in wrapping them round her fingers. His hands idly caressed one available breast and her back, reaching to glide over her buttocks.

"You too, you bring out the best in me," he replied, kissing her gently on her eyelids.

They sat up eventually and drink some wine, before finding that he was available for further play. This time their coupling was more mechanical, but none the less satisfying for that, as he took her from behind. Then, turnabout, she sank onto him, sitting astride with him buried deep, filled her glass with wine and tried to feed it to him. She spilled it down his chest and , handing the glass to him, licked it off, enjoying the additional salty flavour from his perspiration.

He half sat up against the bedhead, and she remained impaled on him, facing him. Then as she rose and fell gently, they shared the wine. When she put the glass down they gave themselves over to pleasure.

When she had regained her senses, she devoted herself to bringing him off, relishing the feeling of his hot stiff cock plunging in her. He took a long while to reach the point of no return. She could tell when he was near, for he held his breath for a long time as he sought to delay its onset as long as possible, but eventually he capitulated and let go. She shivered at the sensation. 

Then they lay down and fell rapidly into sleep.

There is a brief moment as one comes to consciousness after sleep when memory has not arrived. Bereaved partners think the deceased partner is beside them in bed, until the second moment, when they realise that the space is empty.

In Ged's case, he felt the body in his bed and for that split second was back in the flat with Cassie, he turned over to greet his one true love, and received the shock of realisation that the blonde lying there was not brown haired Cassie. Just for a moment he felt sad, before frustration that she was gone from his life.

Karin stirred and they passed two carnal hours that Sunday morning. The weather had turned wet and the rain beat on the window of the bedroom as they ate a late breakfast in bed, so Ged and Karin were still nude in bed, when the doorbell rang. 

"Who is it now?" moaned Ged.

"I'll go," said Karin, pulling on his dressing gown and going downstairs.

He could hear a muffled conversation and then Karin came back upstairs.

"It's Cassie," she said. "She wasn't going to stay, but I persuaded her. She said she doesn't want to keep you, but needs to tell you something. She's waiting in the living room."

Ged sighed and made to go down. 

"Ged!" Karin said sharply. "Get dressed."

He shrugged and pulled on a pair of tack suit bottoms and a tee shirt. He was annoyed. What was the woman doing? She had told him to leave, and now she was back the next day. It was as if she was stalking him. 

"OK?" he asked like a petulant child.

"Yes darling," she replied, oozing sweetness and a mocking smile.

Down he went, finding Cassie in the living room, her hair wet and clinging to her face and her overcoat soaking.

"Hello Cassie," he said distantly. "You wanted to see me."

"Karin's nice," Cassie said. "Very talented - the house is beautiful."

"Yes she is," said Ged, a little non-plussed at this opening, what was she doing making polite conversation? 

"What do you want?" Now his tone was more aggressive, she flinched.

"Well," she said looking up at him as he stood just inside the doorway, his arms folded across his chest, a picture of rejection. "Two things. First, I apologise for shouting after you when you left yesterday. I was angry. I didn't mean what I said, except that you are bigger and your lovemaking is infintiely better."

Shouting at him? She told him to go away! And he did what she wanted: he left. So what was she doing coming here, coming all this way just to apologise?

"And the other thing?" he asked, and she could see he was still annoyed.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did for my family - getting them out of their trouble and so generously. What you did was wonderful." She smiled at him and her eyes shone.

"I love your family, Cassie," he said quietly, feeling rather embarrassed at her warmth. "I was in a position to help so I did."

"If I hadn't gone along with that stupid wedding," she said bitterly, "Dad would never have got into that mess."

"I didn't do it for you, I did it for your dad," Ged snapped. "So you had to come all this way just to tell me this?"

"Yes. I needed to do it in person."

"I can't see why. Is this part of your campaign to get me back?"

She could sense his aggression, and she did not understand it.

"I wanted to thank you in person. I wanted to apologise in person. It's what polite people do," she said doggedly as she became irritated by his attitude. "So you want to think of it as a campaign? OK, yes it is. I know I will never be properly happy unless we are together again, and I believe that when you get over your stupid anger at what happened, you will realise it as well."

"You're sure it has nothing to do with the fact that now I'm rich and have a big house?" His voice was hard and brittle.

There was a silence as she gazed at him open mouthed in amazement, and then she cut into him quietly and full of sorrow. "That was a disgusting thing to say. You hinted at that yesterday, and you know it isn't true. Apologise!"

He immediately felt ashamed of his outburst. Where did this burning anger come from? Where had that unfounded idea come from? It was so obviously ridiculous. He capitulated. 

"I'm sorry, you're right, you've never been greedy or money centred." 

"You may like to ask yourself a little question," she spat at him. "Are you bitter at me - or at what's happened? If it's me, I thought you said you'd forgiven me, so perhaps you were lying. If it's not me, why are you always saying these things to hurt me? Why take it out on me?"

She stood up and went towards the door, pushing past him. As she reached the front door she stopped.

"I've had it up to here with you," she said indicating her neck. "I know that deep down you want me; your pride won't let you accept the fact that you'll never be happy without me. I made a mistake, Ged, while you were on tour. Serious certainly, but a mistake! 

"I can't help my reaction to cheating, or its violence. I don't know where it comes from or why it's so strong. I'm perfectly well aware it's out of proportion. Don't you think I'd love to know why as well?

"So I give up, if you want me you'll have to come to me. I am going to wait for you - not for ever, but for a long time. So now you'll have to come to me and ask me to come back to you. Goodbye Ged."

The door slammed and she was gone. Ged sat down heavily. Once again things had not gone as he expected. Again his bitter anger surfaced: what a nerve the woman had! What arrogance! She knew he loved her? He'd never be happy without her? She'd condescendingly wait until he came begging? Hell would freeze over first!

Karin came into the room to find him sitting there fuming as he reviewed what had transpired.

"You heard?" he asked her, looking forlorn.

"Impossible not to," she replied sitting down next to him.

The doorbell went again.

"I'll go," she said.

Ged heard the exchange at the door.

"Karin," said Cassie, for it was she who had returned. "I forgot something and it's important."

"Come in?"

"No thanks. Would you give him a message?"

"Of course."

"I completely forgot. It's about Zak, my bastard husband. He came to Cheryl's house on Friday. When I told him I had left him, he said something like he'd see to it Ged never got me either. Ged needs to be careful, I think Zak wants to do him some serious damage or even injury. 

"Has Ged told you he's suing him? Well, Zak's so wrapped up in himself he thinks Ged is suing him out of revenge for Zak 'taking his woman back' as he put it; he really doesn't see any of the lying, or the stealing Ged's money as relevant or important. Tell, Ged, please, to be careful, to watch his back. Zak really hates him."

"I'll tell him," said Karin. "Look after yourself Cassie."

The door closed softly.

"You heard?" she said coming into the room.

He nodded. "I don't think there's anything in it: Zak's all talk."

Karin once again sat next to him on the sofa, turning towards him.

"I never realised how much you're still in love with her," she said taking his hand.

He snorted in disbelief.

She sighed. "Ged, you write songs about affairs of the heart, about love and loss. You do it so well, a real artist. So tell me, what's the opposite of love?"

"Hate."

"I don't think so. You know that marriage counsellors say that marriage partners who are angry and seem to hate each other or what their partner has done, strangely have a better chance of survival as a couple than a couple where all feeling has died? Where they are cold to each other?

"Someone said that the opposite of love is indifference, or apathy. Ged, you are constantly getting angry and so is she. You need to face it, darling. You are both still in love with each other but you're both too deeply hurt. That's what's keeping you apart."

Ged said nothing but he was sure that she was wrong. He could not foresee a future where they were at each other's throats all the time, or where, as soon as Cassie suspected he was smiling at another woman she would finish with him. He would be looking over his shoulder all the time, on edge in case she misunderstood. 

Karin was continuing, "If I were in your shoes, I would be wanting to know why Cassie's reaction to cheating is so violent and intense. It isn't normal, you know. If you knew why she went off and married Zak so quickly on the rebound, you might be able to put it behind you."

Again Ged said nothing. He was thinking. She had done just that - gone off and married Zak. What he realised he didn't understand was why she went back to someone who had deceived her before. In view of her attitude to cheating that was totally illogical. He recognised that this was the big barrier to repairing their relationship, though he did not think he wanted to repair anything.

Karin rightly took his silence as rejection and with a sigh and a "Well I tried," for Ged to hear, she went and collected her things for leaving.

Once she had gone, after a steamy kiss to tell him she still loved him even if he didn't believe her, Ged sat and thought. He wondered if he needed all this aggravation. 

When he had returned from the USA he had settled in his mind that Cassie was in the past and he had been ready to start again, but now he felt trapped by what seemed to be a campaign by everyone to get them together again. 

He was trapped by Zak's fraud, the loss of his flat and being tied up in his lawsuit against him. He was trapped by these meetings with Cassie and the mixed feelings he had about her. He felt the need to escape: to run away as far as he could.

Perhaps life was not so bad, he thought. Because of Viv and Karin, he knew he would always be able to find girlfriends who would be good companions in and out of bed. 

Perhaps what he had had with Cassie had been just youthful enthusiasm, unreal. Real adult life was not so idealised or intense; compromises had to be made. He looked round at the room, and remembered Karin the night before. Life was good really, even on his own.

He agreed with Karin that it would be helpful to know why Cassie reacted so insanely, so strongly and in such a contradictory manner. There was something about her that couldn't tolerate or forgive infidelity; couldn't abide someone who had cheated, but then she still allowed Zak back into her life. It must be that Zak touched something in her that Ged never had. It struck him that it was this 'something' that allowed Zak to win her back. 

It puzzled him that she didn't seem to know, or she wasn't telling him, why her reactions were so violent. It kept coming back to that. She certainly would not tell him what Zak had that he hadn't. 

She had denied his assertions against all the evidence. He decided that the business with Cassie was taking too much of his time. Perhaps it was indeed time to move on. Let Cassie wait out her time and go find another man to love.

Once his mind was made up, he felt relieved and settled down to touch up some songs which he felt were still rough. Soon he was lost in his work and Cassie and his problems faded away. 

Later on he phoned Catherine Styles.



Music Man Pt. 04



Chapter Twenty Two

Cassie was interviewed by the police concerning Zak's activities in Ged's flat. At first they seemed to be implying that it was she who had moved the money, since it went into an account in her name, but Graham intervened asking if she was to be charged. No.

She told them that she had gone to the bank to find out who originated the account, and was shown the application form. She produced a copy of it, and there plain to see was Zak's signature 'on her behalf', going on to show how he had used the money to deceive her. She made a statement and then left with Graham.

It was an uncomfortable experience, and afterwards Cassie decided she needed to go home to see her parents. She wanted to explain that she was divorcing Zak, an obligation to them that she was dreading, but knew she had to go through with it. She booked her train ticket on line as soon as she returned to Brian and Cheryl's house; she would travel on Friday afternoon and return on Sunday evening. Then she emailed her parents and Marie to let them know.

On Monday evening she went flat hunting without success.

When Cheryl and Brian arrived late on Monday, Cassie was already in bed asleep. The week went by, and she worked extra time on Thursday to allow for the journey south the next day.

Her parents were delighted to see her. 

"No Zak?" asked her mother, looking behind Cassie.

"I've left him," she said. 

Her mother looked aghast. "Left him? You're only just married darling. Surely you can make up?"

"Let me sit down and I'll tell you all about it. Get Dad as well, you both need to hear this."

She told them the whole story. Her father became angry, and her mother upset.

"I'm so sorry," Cassie said as the tears came. "You told me Zak was not right for me, but Zak was intent on it and I've no idea why I just went along with it. I cost you so much and all for nothing."

"It's not that," said her father. "You've mucked up your relationship with Ged. Now there is a man. Even if he is a musician, he seems to have done all right."

She nodded. "I know." Her tears had dried and she looked defeated. "I don't think there's any chance of us getting together. He's too hurt by what I did."

"Something's happened to us," said her father eagerly. "We got into some money trouble, and now I'm on the dole there was no way out. We got all sorts of threatening letters, and then they all stopped. 

"When we looked at the accounts they were all clear – all the credit cards, and get this, Cassie, the mortgage is practically paid off, there are a few pence I have to go and pay to get the deeds to the house. 

"The thing is, there's no indication where the money has come from. I'm worried, Cassie, that there's been an dreadful error at the bank and they'll claw it all back again. They say there isn't, but I think there is."

"There's no error, Dad," she said with a half smile. "Ged's paid it off. All of it."

There was a joint gasp of disbelief from both parents.

"So he does love you after all!" exclaimed her mother. "I'm sure you will get back together."

"No Mum," she replied, her hopelessness showing. "He told me he did it for you and Dad, he made it very clear it was not for me."

"But how did he know – we didn't tell you?" Her father was becoming edgy.

"Marie. She told him."

There was trouble at that. Marie was called down, and told them what she had done, and how good Ged had been to her. 

Her farther was not pleased. "How could you go begging – and to him of all people after all that's happened? How can I repay him?"

"He won't take anything, Dad," Marie said. "He's very very well off; he told me he wouldn't even miss it. He's a millionaire."

Her father glowered. "That's not the point. We're beholden to him now." 

He picked up his book and began to read, his disgust and discomfort showing. The subject was changed.

"Cassie," said her mother, "I can't understand why you were so mad? You went overboard. You're usually so level headed. Why?"

"I don't know, Mum," she said.

Her mother sighed.

"I feel the same way, Mum," Cassie responded to the sigh. "I feel such a fool, and I've lost Ged. If only we could go back and re-live things, but we can't."

Her mother sighed again and then perked up. 

"Hey," she said. "Dollar is here for the weekend with her new husband. You should look her up."

Cassie sat up. "Dollar?" she exclaimed. "Great, I haven't seen her since my wedd..."

There was a moment's silence, and it was because of the memory. She had felt so certain of Zak that day. She had been all in white, and he looked so good as she came down the aisle of the church to him, and all the time he was deceiving her, cheating her of her true love.

"Yes," she told her mother more soberly, "I'd really like to see her, and meet her husband."

Dolores O'Shaughnessy as she had been before her wedding, was Cassie's oldest and closest friend. They had first met when they were both five years old, and had been close ever since. They had shared all their ideas and hopes and desires, as well as the less reputable things they'd done. They had no secrets from each other. It was when she was a teenager that Dolores wanted to be called Dollar from then on.

So Saturday saw Cassie visiting Dollar's parents' house. The news of her impending divorce from Zak had preceded her, and Dollar was all agog to get the full story, so much so that she neglected to introduce her new husband. Prompted by Cassie, Liam was introduced to her and was then invited to be elsewhere while the women caught up on their lives.

Cassie complimented Dollar on her husband, and Dollar giggled and told her with a wink that he came up to expectations in every department. Dollar certainly looked well satisfied and content. She apologised for not inviting Cassie to the wedding, but Cassie was on her brief honeymoon with Zak when the hastily arranged wedding took place.

This brought the conversation round to Zak and the break up. Cassie told her the whole story and Dollar was appalled. 

"Anyone would have thought Zak knew about your intolerance of cheating," she said, "and used it against you."

"I had finished with Zak before," Cassie said. "I think he got the idea how violently I hated cheaters then. I only wish I knew why I reacted so violently. I'd promised Ged faithfully I would talk it through with him before we even thought of going our separate ways, and when it came to it, I wouldn't even listen to his explanation. I junked his emails without reading them."

"But it must be obvious to you why?" Dollar said with surprise. "After what Doug did to you? Then after those months when you'd not let boys near you, you risked it with Ian after the prom. and he cheated on you within the week, and the way he dumped you, so cruel!"

Cassie sighed with exasperation. Dollar's words had immediately enlightened her. 

"Why didn't I think of that?" she said wonderingly. "Dollar I've never connected the strength of my hatred of cheating, or lying with that. It's so obvious now you mention it. But it's years since–"

"I bet you've just shoved it away from yourself," Dollar suggested. "It was so traumatic for you so young. I remember how frightened you were. Ian just didn't care, but Doug was a real bastard."

"Heard anything about him?" asked Cassie, intrigued. 

"Oh, he tried the same thing with a girl at university – you don't know her," Dollar said. "But unlike you, she called his bluff. He ended up married to her, but the marriage is not at all happy.They've got two kids under three and the pair of them are always bickering from what I've heard. I think divorce is on the cards. That'll really hurt him, paying maintenance for two kids for the next eighteen years."

"Serve him fucking right," Cassie said with some vehemence. "He deserves all he gets, though I'm sorry for his wife and kids."

"Could have been you, old girl," said Dollar. "Lucky escape, you were besotted with him – totally gone, you were. Until..."

They talked on and on, until Liam reappeared and they all went out for a drink.

She returned to Cheryl and Brian's on Sunday night, when she learned that Ged had gone back to the States. It was late, and in response to their enquiry, she told them she had a good meeting with her parents. She then excused herself and went to bed, where she lay for a while remembering the events that had first led to her present predicament. 

Over the following two weeks, she looked for a flat without success, went to work, came home and babysat for Cheryl. Sometimes she went out for a drink with friends, but they quickly learned not to pry into her feelings, though it was obvious she was sad and listless.

Cheryl too forbore from inquiring, assuming that Cassie's attempts to reach Ged were over, and she would eventually overcome the feelings of bereavement she so clearly felt. Instead, she encouraged the morose young woman to look for a man to date, going with her to nightclubs while Brian babysat at home. Cassie was amazed at how much Brian trusted Cheryl, especially since she dressed to seduce so as to fit with Cassie's 'pulling' attire.

Cassie danced with a variety of men, and rejected all of them. Some were only out for a one-night stand, but there were others who Cheryl thought were good prospects. None was good enough for Cassie.

It was to no avail, and at the end of two further weeks, she sat Cassie down and asked her why she had given up dating.

"It's Ged, isn't it?" she stated to the sullen woman.

"Yes," sighed Cassie. "It's Ged. I'm not over him yet. I'm resigned now to let him go, but I don't think I'll be looking for anyone else for a long time."

"Wouldn't you try to contact him again?" Cheryl asked, ever the optimist.

"It was obvious I was getting nowhere." Cassie replied. "Until he understands why I behaved as extremely as I did, there's no chance."

"And you don't know that, do you?"

"Oh, yes," Cassie muttered. "I know now. I met a friend at home, Dollar. She reminded me. I must have been repressing the memory, but I know now, though I think when he hears why, it will make things worse."

"Tell me." said Cheryl, "and I'll tell you whether it'll put him off."

"I've never told a living soul, only Dollar knows," said Cassie, looking up at her friend for the first time in the conversation.

"Tell me."

"I don't know whether I can."

"Tell me!" Cheryl told her sternly. "Nothing will put me off you, Cassie. Nothing!"

"OK." Cassie sounded even more downcast if that were possible, but she told her story.

"Cassie those guys horribly abused your trust and dumped you years ago." Cheryl pleaded, when she finished. "It's long past. You were young! You can't keep carrying that with you. 

"You don't know how Ged will see it, of course you don't. How could you? You're not seeing him now, are you? You've given up on him. If you tell him your story, it can hardly make it any worse, now can it?"

Cassie shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "I think he really has moved on. He's gone back to the States, for goodness' sake."

"Cassie," Cheryl said urgently. "Please, if you don't try this, you will always wonder whether he would have changed towards you if he knew your background. Please go to him and tell him. Then you'll know."

Cassie gave in. "OK," she said. "I'll go and see if anyone knows where he is. The folk group might know. The Friday night gig at the pub. Happy now?"

"I will be when you've done it."

Cassie was as good as her word. She went to the pub and listened to the band, and of course Ged was not there. Afterwards she went to Vivienne and asked where he was.

"He's gone," she replied, "back to his girlfriend in the States – you know – Catherine Styles. He reckoned there wasn't much keeping him here any more. He's really down, living a sort of half-life, and you know who's the cause of that don't you?" Viv said it gently without rancour. "I wish you two would get together again and we can all get back to living a decent life!"

"Oh," Cassie looked crestfallen. "There was something he needed to know from me about – you know – the trouble. About me. I've got an answer for him."

"If I were you," said Vivienne, "and I once nearly was you – going with him, I mean – if I were you, I'd go after him. I'd turn up at his girlfriend's place and tell him whatever it is you've got to tell him. That might just wake him up to what he's missing: you, girl! You want him don't you?"

Cassie nodded.

"Well, then," she said. "Get after him!"

"Get after him?"

"Buy a plane ticket to San Francisco and go get him."

"I don't know where he's staying."

"Catherine Styles," said Vivienne patiently. "Ask his agent, he'll know."

 ---- 

Chapter Twenty Three

After phoning Catherine Ged felt much better. She had been delighted that he was returning, and promised to get some connections going with others in the industry, for on the West Coast, she explained, entertainment was an industry. She also promised to make him feel good, and he knew from experience that it was not an idle boast.

He booked his flight for the following week, and spent the intervening time sorting out his affairs, visiting his mother, seeing Gus about managing his money and any contracts for royalties that might arise, spending time with the folk group and with Karin, who was upset about his departure, especially since the trip was so open ended. He tried to keep busy until he left, but by the time the week was up he was upset and felt persecuted.

Gus was first. Ged sorted out all the business with him, and then Gus asked him very kindly why he was going back to the States, when everything could be done from home. Ged told him he needed to start over, and he couldn't get over Cassie so close to home.

"I just don't understand you, Ged," said his agent. "I've never tried to broach the subject of you and Cassie, but I'm going to do that now. You two fulfil the cliché 'made for each other', but you are trying to put her behind you. Why?"

Ged said nothing.

"Look at it this way," Gus went on. "Is Cassie the same person who first met you? I know she's changed as we all do, but essentially, is she the same person who you saw in the union that day? Are her values the same? Things have happened to her, but her character?" 

He paused briefly before explaining what he meant.

"She is still honest, truthful, faithful, am I right?" he asked.

Ged started to look resentful because he felt resentful, precisely because it was true. He nodded. 

Like Cassie, thought Gus, he's the same: honest and faithful. 

He went on.

"If Zak had not been there, what would have happened? Would she have gone looking for another man? No, you know she wouldn't. When she fell apart, did she go looking for Zak? No, Zak crept up on her. 

"Is she looking for another man now? No. Zak took her when she was broken, and dominated her. It was part of his plan. She just followed. Why? Because she was so depressed, she knew him and he was convincing. True?"

Ged felt anger at Zak this time. Ged was sure Zak had pushed and pushed her to marry him, and she had gone along with it. Now he understood the quick wedding. Again he nodded, and Gus saw the anger.

"Are you sure that your anger and resentment is really against Zak? That you resent that he inveigled his way into Cassie's life again and eventually coerced her into marrying him? That instead you're transferring it all onto Cassie, who doesn't really deserve it?"

"The problem Gus," said Ged with a resigned air, "is why she reacted so violently that she went with Zak and did not talk to me first. If I knew why she did that, I could make proper decisions, but she keeps telling me she doesn't know why. I don't know whether to believe her or not. It's just gone too far, Gus." 

Gus went on doggedly. "What you're saying is that the only thing separating you is that she broke a promise and suffered the consequences. She broke it in extreme circumstances – did you envisage the evil intent and the depth of deception engineered by Zak when you made her promise that? You told her to distrust the press; but this was carefully planned, there was the other manufactured evidence as well, Zak saw to that. She is a victim like you, man. 

"You were her lover, and her fiancé. What does a loving fiancé do in such circumstances? Please think about it Ged."

Ged shrugged, "I've gone over this Gus, over and over. She cut me off, went with Zak and married him, and she tells me she doesn't know why. I've nothing left for her. I'm sorry about it, but I can't get over it." 

His folk group would not let it be either. They were also desperate for him to stay.

It was Vivienne who let rip at him. It surprised him. She had always been dead straight with him, and he could see she was really worked up. 

"You know Ged," she said angrily, "You were always such a good friend to have, you always saw both sides of any situation. You had empathy – hell, you couldn't have written the stuff you have if you couldn't put yourself in other people's shoes.

"Where's it gone, Ged? You're totally self-obsessed now. Can't you get into her shoes and see things the way she sees them? Can't you feel how she feels? God, Ged, you've written songs from a woman's point of view, you should be able to do that!

"She's been treated cruelly by that bastard, and she's hurting and still confused over what's happened. And where are you when she needs you? Wrapped up in yourself. Perhaps if this is the new you, she's better off without you."

"Wow, Viv," said Ged with a rueful smile. "I didn't think you knew her so well that you feel so strongly. Perhaps you're right. She's better off without me."

Viv looked startled. She had not expected him to give in and agree. Not like that.

By then Ben was saying his piece.

"I can't see the problem. You didn't cheat on her. She didn't cheat on you. It was Zak, wasn't it? You and Cassie were both hurt. Who was the author of all the hurt – you? Cassie? No, it was Zak. So why are you taking it out on her? Why did she take it out on you?"

"That's exactly it, Ben," Ged said with all the patience he could muster. "I don't know why she reacted so violently, went to such lengths – I mean, marrying him! She says she doesn't know why, but I can't see that. She knows, she's just not telling."

"So," said Ben, "You don't believe her."

"I suppose that's it," replied Ged. "I'm going to the States for a while. I'll be back someday, and we'll keep in touch – I'll send you any stuff that suits you guys. I think we should make an album together when I come back. I just need to get over Cassie properly. I'm just marking time at the moment."

The folk group were delighted with his offer, and thanked him. He told them to think of some songs from other people they could cover.

As if all the advice wasn't enough, Ged met Amos of all people on the street, as Ged was coming away from a second meeting with Gus at which he proposed making an album with the group. Gus had promised to contact Vivienne about it.

"You and Cassie back together then?" Amos asked with some genuine concern, Ged thought.

"No, Amos," relied Ged, "and I don't think it's going to happen. Too many unanswered questions."

"Zak told me early on that he was going to make sure you never got back with Cassie," said Amos. "Question for you Ged: is Zak going to win? Are you going to let her go? Because that's what Zak wants. Even if he can't have Cassie any more, he wanted to make sure you wouldn't either. 

"That's what he wants even more than he wants Cassie. He did all that lying and trickery to get back the one woman he really wanted. Now he's failed, but you are going to make him a very happy man. He did all that because he saw what he had missed; why can't you see it, Ged? Can't you see what you're missing? Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face!"




Music Man Pt. 04



Ged saw he meant well and told him so, thanking him for his concern. It did make him think, but he couldn't get back with Cassie just to spite Zak, however much he might want to – spite Zak, that is, he hastily told himself, aware of his mental slip.

The day before he left, he got a phone call from Cheryl. She just launched into him, and he knew she was fighting for her friend. It was that which allowed him to put up with her abuse without hanging up on her.

"So you're running away Ged. So wrapped up in yourself you can't see what's good for you. You're just about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

"She's told me she'll wait for you to come round, but think about it, Ged. She will suffer loneliness for just so long then she will find another man. 

He won't light her fire, because only you ever did that; I hope you know that. But she'll settle for an ordinary life – she'll settle for second or even third best. He will bed her and feel he's the luckiest man in the world. 

"And she'll get pregnant, Ged, and have his babies, when she could have had yours. She'll bury herself in her family and love them to bits, enjoying being a mother, and in time, Ged, she'll lose that aching sense of loss for you, and if you see her in those years, she'll not react any more. She'll have grown out of you and into her husband. She'll get used to her second best life.

"You were never second best for her, Ged, you stupid bastard, you got that wrong. You totally eclipsed Zak, did you know that? She only went for him when she thought you had left her and she was so lonely. He was the second best option, not you. 

"Yes, she told me what you said about him having something you didn't. Fucking shite that idea! He was good in bed, Ged, but you were good in bed, actually better, and definitely better everywhere else.

"You'll probably settle for a second best woman as well. You'll love her but you'll always know that you missed your best chance in life. You are an idiot Ged. A first class, self-deluding fucking idiot."

She rang off. Ged stood, looking at the phone. So many people, all hung up on his personal life, but he was committed to go, and go he would.

Karin was the last one to persecute him, but hers was a more gentle persecution. She felt a real sense of loss that he was going, but was philosophical about it.

Well, she said to herself, I did say no strings, and that I wasn't the settling type. Perhaps I am ready to settle, but not with him – deep down he belongs to someone else.

He gave her a key, asked her to call in and look after the house from time to time and invited her to stay there as often as she wanted.

"You're running away from Cassie you know," she told him as she dropped him off at the airport, "but when you get to the other side of the world, as far away as you can get, you'll find she's still with you. She's unfinished business."

He shrugged a denial, and took his leave of her.

Unlike his previous visit to Catherine, when he had needed to relax after the strenuous world tour and they worked on an album for her over the whole time, this time she had arranged meetings, formal and informal with an array of entertainment people. 

There were the usual parties to attend, BBQs to eat, and even a stopover in Las Vegas. All in the process, organised by Catherine who knew about those things, of getting him and his music seen, heard and appreciated.

There was also her insatiable appetite for sex, which meant that though he spent a good deal of time in bed, he got rather less rest than he needed. 

These Americans work hard and play hard – too hard for me! He thought ruefully.

After three weeks of this he was beginning to tire, and Catherine, sensing this, took him on a tour of the wineries of the State for him to unwind. Then he was off to New York for a week, leaving Catherine at home since she had some recording to do.

The meetings in New York were quite productive, though he sensed a certain lack of enthusiasm on their part. It became clear to him that they were seeing him only because Catherine had introduced him. He flew back to the West Coast rather despondent, arriving at seven in the evening. 

When the aircraft was taxiing he received a text from Catherine, saying she was tied up with a visitor and to get himself a taxi to the house. 

He arrived and found the front door unlocked, but, unusually there had been no Catherine standing on the step as she always had done before. For a moment he wondered whether she had a lover in her bed, but smiled at the idea. He entered and immediately heard her voice.

"Hi Honey! In the kitchen! Got a visitor for you!"

He dropped the bag and made his way there, pushing open the door.

"Hello, Ged," said the visitor, who was sitting with Catherine at the table.

"Cassie?" he said. "What are you doing here?"

---- 

Chapter Twenty Four

It took a good deal of begging before Cassie's publishing house allowed her yet more time off. She wondered if her job would still be there when she returned. They had granted her two weeks unpaid compassionate leave, and without delay she had booked a flight to San Francisco flying out on Monday and returning on Saturday. It wiped out all her savings.

She gave the address to the cab driver, who seemed to know it. Cassie realised that Catherine was a celebrity, and she felt fear. How would Ged's American girlfriend react to her. She had not tried to contact the woman beforehand. She would arrive and then see how things went. There were plenty of hotels if things went badly.

The cab drew up in front of the house, and Cassie gasped. It was a mansion. Beautifully manicured gardens with architectural trees and bushes surrounded a house the beauty of which took Cassie's breath away. 

"Would you wait please?" she asked the driver.

"Sure, ma'am," came the reply. "Love the British accent!"

She gave him her most brilliant smile and approached the front door, upon which she knocked. And waited. And waited. Then the door opened.

"Why, hello there," said the pretty woman standing before her with a wide welcoming smile. "May I help you?"

"Hello," said Cassie, though she was trembling. "I'm Cassie, Ged's–"

"The Cassie?" the woman asked, wide eyed. "Ged's Cassie?"

"Not any more," Cassie replied. "He doesn't want me anymore," and her eyes filled.

"I'm Catherine," the woman said. "Where are you staying, honey?"

"Nowhere yet," said Cassie. "I'll find a hotel later; I hoped to talk to Ged – I've something to tell him that he wanted to know."

"Oh, you must stay here with me," Catherine said. "Ged's away for the week, but you can visit with me while you wait."

"You're very kind," said Cassie. "But I can't impose–"

"Nonsense," said Catherine. "I'm on my own, working on some songs. You'll be good company for me. Let's get your bags."

Cassie paid the driver and Catherine collected her bags. Catherine took her straight to a guest bedroom, and put down her bag.

"Now," she said. "You're my guest until Ged comes back in four days. We're going to have the greatest time."

They did. Catherine had the knack of getting Cassie to tell her whole story, and made no comment, but accepted everything. She took Cassie to see the sights, and to meet some of her friends. Cassie asked her about her songs, and Catherine played her some, and sang some for her. She asked Cassie for her poems and was clearly moved by many of them, recognising those that Ged had set to music.

"Cassie," she told her, "We'll work on Ged together sweetheart. I'm on your side, kiddo. He doesn't deserve you. What's happened is not your fault."

As the day approached for Ged to arrive, however, Cassie became more and more edgy and apprehensive. Catherine did her best to cheer her, but really there was nothing to be done. Cassie had been rebuffed too many times.

On Friday evening there came the text from Ged and Catherine's reply. They sat at the kitchen table and waited. 

"Hello Ged," said Cassie.

"Cassie? What are you doing here?"

"I've got something to tell you."

"So much for you 'leaving me alone' and 'waiting for me to come to you'. You're stalking me. It won't work Cassie."

"Hi, Ged," Catherine interrupted. "Welcome back!" Her voice had a note of irony and Ged saw it immediately.

"Sorry, Catherine," he said, "but Cassie is hounding me."

"You are being real stupid, Ged," Catherine replied. "Cassie has been here a few days and we've had some good times. She's already my friend, buddy, and you're not giving her a chance. We talked a lot and I know what she's been through. Now, you listen! Sit down."

Ged was surprised at Catherine's outburst, and did as he was told.

"Now Ged," said Catherine, "Cassie has something to tell you; something you wanted to know. She loves you so much she's come all the way from the UK to tell you, and it's going to cost her. She's afraid that what she tells you will finish you as a couple completely, but she wants to tell you anyway because you want to know. You've got some woman here, Ged."

"OK," said Ged, moodily. "What is this great truth you have for me Cassie? It had better be better than your previous efforts."

He saw Cassie flinch and Catherine bristle, and he immediately regretted what he had said, though he said nothing but gritted his teeth.

"You don't make it easy," said Cassie plaintively. "This is hard enough for me, without your carping, but anyway I'm leaving tomorrow, and I'll be out of your hair for good. So."

She took a deep breath. "You wanted to know why I react so intensely when a man cheats on me? I went home to my parents and Dollar was around and she reminded me why. She was there when it happened and she stood by me when no one else did.

"It was February in my last year of High School, I'd started going out with a boy called Douglas, or Doug for short. He was so fit, and good looking. captain of the football team, captain of the cricket team, medals at athletics. And he wanted me. I'd never been with a boy before, and I was very innocent. I'd concentrated on work and he was the first boy I'd fallen for.

"I was so besotted with him, I'm embarrassed about it now. He was a few months older than I was. He was so... masculine – so strong. I couldn't see how selfish he was; he could do no wrong in my eyes. And he wanted me."

Ged gave a snort of derision. "I don't see what this–"

"Button it, Ged," said Catherine sharply. "You aren't helping, and this is totally relevant."

Ged shrugged, and gave her a petulant look. Catherine scowled at him.

"Go on honey," Catherine said to Cassie, reaching out and covering her hand with her own.

Again, a deep breath. "Anyway, he seduced me. We'd made out for weeks, and it happened one evening at his parents' house while they were out at some function. He took my virginity. It wasn't the only time we did it, and..."

Here she stopped, glanced at him and looked down at the table. Then she continued, staring at the table top, as if each sentence was wrung from her.

"I got pregnant." She shivered then continued.

"I was so frightened. I told him and he shouted at me for being a 'stupid bitch' (I remember the words exactly), for not being protected.

"Apart from the fact I was eighteen, why he assumed that as a virgin I would be on the pill, I don't know. He never used a condom and I was too naïve to realise that. 

"I couldn't tell my parents – you know they're Irish Catholics – on my own, and so I begged him to stand by me, while I confessed to them. 

"Well, he gave me an ultimatum. He'd get money from his parents for an abortion and I mustn't tell anyone. I told him I couldn't take the life of my unborn child. So he told me that if I didn't have the termination, as he called it, he'd have nothing more to do with me, and I could face my parents alone. 

"If I had the abortion he would stay with me and we would get engaged and go to the same university. He said he wanted me to be his wife, but a baby so early would make everything too difficult at our age just before university: I wouldn't be able to go at all. 

"I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me, so I agreed. I told Dollar – you remember she was always my best friend? She stood by me. We made up a story for my parents, and I had an overnight stay in a clinic, and it was all over. I was so upset, and so guilty, but Doug would stand by me, support me, wouldn't he?

"Well, Ged," she said, looking up at him, tears brimming in her eyes, "He lied. He dumped me the next day after the abortion and never spoke to me again. He never told his mates why either; I suppose I should have been thankful for that, but he just dumped me. He knew I couldn't tell anyone why either.

"I went to pieces," she sobbed. "I wanted my mother so badly, but I couldn't go to her. She still doesn't know. Dollar stuck by me for what was left of my last year, but I was a wreck. My parents put it down to overwork for 'A' levels. 

"Well, I pushed it out of my mind once I got to university. I tried to forget and I succeeded after a fashion. I had been so thoroughly betrayed though (this is what Dollar told me when I went home last week), that I distrusted boys from then on. I went out with them, but I never trusted them. I got a reputation for being frigid."

She took another deep catching breath, and let it out in a long sigh. 

"As I said, over the years I've pushed it out of my mind, though I still wonder what my baby would be doing – he or she'd be starting school now. 

"Now Dollar has brought it back, it's so obvious why I react so strongly to lies, to cheating, but it's brought back the shame as well. I know you can't love someone who did something like that, but even so, you needed to know why I'm the way I am, and now I've told you."

She stopped and put her head onto her hands on the table, and cried.

Ged stared at her, Catherine forgotten. The shock was complete. The depth of Douglas's betrayal, the hideous self-serving lie carefully planned with no concern for the damage he did appalled Ged. Now all was clear to him.

The deeper her commitment to a man, the more complete her trust, the greater the intensity of her reaction, as a result of that first utter deception and betrayal. Now it was not a mystery why she cut him off completely. They were so completely in love and she was so vulnerable. If only he had known! 

And the anger returned, but now not at Zak or Cassie, but at Douglas, whose destruction of a girl's future relationships was so casual and complete. Zak could not have known, and the result of his deliberate deception was inevitable.

All this cascaded through his mind as the silence grew. 

Cassie interpreted his silence as rejection. She jumped up and fled to her room, crying out loud. Ged sat and almost did not notice.

"Ged!" said Catherine sharply.

"Uh?"

"Cassie's run off. She thinks you hate her for having the abortion. Do you? Is that what you think?"

"No!" he cried, he was just startled at the revelation. "I just don't know how she's managed, keeping it to herself all this time."

"For God's sake, Ged," she said, exasperated. "Go and tell her that! She already hates herself enough, without thinking you hate her as well!"

Ged was upset that he had given implicitly the wrong impression, and made for the door at a run. He knocked gently on her door, and, receiving no reply, opened it and looked inside.

Cassie was lying on the bed. She was not crying, but simply lying on her side with her eyes closed. Ged went to the bedside and sat down. 

Cassie's eyes shot open, and she made to get up.

"It's OK," said Ged reassuringly. "Lie still and listen."

She relaxed and watched him.

He looked down on her and smiled. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I was so shocked at your story that I sort of froze. I couldn't grasp how you could have come so far carrying such a burden and no one to offer support while you were at university. I couldn't offer you support when we were together – you never told me. You should have told me, Cassie, I would have supported you, I really would. You were a girl in a lot of trouble and you were treated shamefully. If only I'd known, I'd never have gone on that fucking tour."

"You don't hate me?"

"Hate you? Why should I hate you? But you need to forgive yourself Cassie." 

She looked at him in surprise, and then a watery smile grew on her face. 

Ged saw the hope in her eyes, but he needed to think some more, it had been too sudden. He preempted her response.

"You go back tomorrow. I have to stay for another two weeks, but then I'm coming home. When I get back, will you talk with me?"

"Yes, of course," she averred. "It's what I've wanted all along."

"I'll look forward to seeing you at home," he said, stroking her hair out of her eyes, "and we will talk and work something out."

The action was not lost on her; it was a loving action and she was filled with hope.

The three of them went out to dinner. The meal was taken up with Catherine's questions about Ged's trip, and Cassie remained silent throughout. When they returned to the house, Cassie went off to pack and to get an early night. She didn't need to be at the airport until two in the afternoon, but the flight was ten hours long overnight. Ged hugged her but did not kiss her. Catherine left the room with her and stayed with her until she went to bed.

Then Catherine had words with Ged. 

"We won't be sleeping together tonight, Ged," she said softly. "You know that, don't you? In fact we won't be sleeping together, period."

Ged nodded. 

Catherine continued. "If ever there was a pair who should be together, needs to be together, it's you and that lady. I'll not come between you. We will talk of this when she's gone."

"I haven't– " began Ged.

"I think you have," she said, "or you will. I want you to do something for me."

"Anything, Cath," he said. "You know that."

"Go to the second bedroom, I put your stuff in there. Get out all the lyrics based on her poems and read them. I've made Cassie's poems into a little book, and I'm going to get them published. Don't tell her! Read her poems. OK? Then think."

"OK," he said, and he did. Even though he was still on New York time, and it was very late for him, he sat up for much of the night reading and re-reading. He actually set another of Cassie's poems to music. 

So when Cassie and Catherine left for the airport he was still asleep. He wondered when he awoke a little later to an empty house, if he had dreamt of someone kissing him. He had not: Cassie kissed his forehead before she left.

 ---- 

Chapter Twenty Five

Ged spent the time while Catherine was away at the airport polishing the tune to Cassie's poem, and as such was not thinking about what had transpired the previous evening.

When she returned, she heard him singing. The tune was plaintive and she recognised Cassie's words of longing for a lost love. Yes, she thought, The guy has insight and talent, as if I didn't know.

For the next fortnight, they worked hard on their music, knowing that Ged was going home soon. He was often thoughtful, and Catherine knew Cassie had made an impression with which he was trying to cope. She could see the change in him: he had changed towards her, becoming more of a friend and exercising a certain distance. 

On his departure, at the airport he hugged her at length. 

"Thanks for all you've done for me and for Cassie. I know what to do now, and it's largely your doing. I'm far from sure we'll end up together, but it's a start and you started it."

"Oh pshaw!" she smiled. "It was there in you all the time. You just had to break that shell of resentment; you needed to see where the guilt lay – and where it didn't. The song 'Connie' showed what was going on deep down all along. Now get out of here!"




Music Man Pt. 04



They kissed briefly and he was on his way. Catherine looked fondly after him.

He's a lucky son of a bitch, she thought, but then so is she!

Ged's flight was uneventful and he managed to sleep. He arrived at the house to find it warm and aired and remembered Karin had been in after he emailed her that he was coming home. He was jet lagged and half awake in spite of the sleep on the plane. He sent an email to Gus and Graham telling them he had arrived but needed a day to recover from the journey. Then he tried to stay awake, but gave in and took an hour's nap in the afternoon.

On Tuesday he was grateful that Gus left it until lunchtime before asking him to call in. There were various artists who wanted his songs, and he needed to go to London again urgently to see the singer Gerard Frobisher as he had before. Gerard had a concert imminently and needed his advice. He set off early next morning. 

While away he phoned Graham, who asked him to see him the following week to sign some documents relating to the civil action. 

Graham told him that Zak had been arrested and had appeared before magistrates. He had been committed to appear at the Crown Court on charges of theft and fraud. In the meantime he was out on bail, for his offences had not been violent ones. It would be months before his case came to trial. In the meantime Graham was pursuing Zak for compensation and the return of the money he had stolen.

After the call Ged realised his mobile was cluttered with unanswered calls. He worked through them, deleting the numbers that had no name attached. He thought he should do that more often: it took the best part of an hour! Then he switched off his phone as he always did when he was working, and made for Gerard Frobisher's place.

He returned on Friday, arriving at just after five thirty. He noted that Karin had been in again, then heard her in the kitchen. They hugged and kissed and she immediately knew he had changed.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Cassie happened," he said. "She followed me out to Catherine's and now I know why she acted the way she did, though I still don't understand why she married Zak; she didn't need to do that, we lived together for a long time and only got engaged when I was going away on tour."

"So?"

"She was dreadfully betrayed by a boyfriend in the last year of High School. He was callous and heartless. He got her pregnant, told her he would pay for an abortion, which she didn't want, promising that if she did they would get engaged afterwards, and later they would marry, otherwise she was on her own. She had the termination and he dumped her the day after."

Karin sat down heavily. "Good Lord!" she whispered.

"So you see?"

"I see." 

She paused. "Have you seen her then?"

"I told you, she came to the States and saw me."

"I mean, have you seen her since you got back?"

"Oh hell!" he exclaimed. "I've been rushed off my feet since I got back. No. I must go and see her tomorrow."

"Why not today?"

"I'm tired. I've been on the go ever since I got back from the States and I need to be rested when I see her, otherwise I'll say something I'll regret. I sympathise with her problem with fidelity, but I'm still not sure it'll work out."

"You're going back with her, aren't you?"

"I don't know. I do know I was so wrapped up in myself, I never realised how much I hurt her when I got back from the tour, but she did hurt me badly as well."

"I'm sure you two are an ideal couple."

"You're not the first to say that, but I'm still not sure. I would be willing to give it a try. You know that means–"

"Yes, I know. No more nookie!" and she laughed. "I'll miss our bedtimes, but it's in a good cause." 

"Shall we go out to eat?" he asked. "Sort of say goodbye to all that?"

"Good idea." she answered, "and you can phone her when you get back afterwards."

They went to their favourite restaurant early, at six thirty, and had a long leisurely dinner, chatting about their lives since they parted last. It was quite late when they left.

They did not see Cassie enter the restaurant, stop and stare at them, and then leave hurriedly.

Ged sat at home and took out his phone. Then he realised: she had changed her number and he did not know the new one. Never mind, he thought, he would go to Cheryl and Brian's next day.

---- 

Chapter Twenty Six

"Well?" said Cheryl to Cassie as they sat in the car in the airport car park after Cheryl had met her off her flight. "You look better, what happened?"

"For the first time in a long time," Cassie told her, "I have hope. I think there's a chance."

Cheryl squealed with pleasure, and hugged her friend.

"I told him about the abortion and he said he didn't hate me." Cassie told her when the hug subsided. "He said he wished I'd told him before he went away on tour, he would have supported me, in fact he said he wouldn't have gone. He said he wants to talk when he gets back in two weeks. He smiled at me, Cheryl, and I'm sure I saw love there in his eyes. I'm so happy!"

Next morning Cassie lay in bed and recalled her friend's happiness at her news and then Brian's smile of satisfaction. She felt peaceful and happy, and realised she had not felt like that since Zak tricked her into thinking Ged had been unfaithful. Even being married to Zak she had felt as if under a cloud. 

The blissful feeling was followed by a sudden worry that she had misinterpreted Ged's words: 'we will talk' didn't sound as if he were totally enthusiastic. Then she recalled that seemingly trivial action of his in pushing her hair out of her eyes. He had been gentle with her and it had felt like a caress. No, she felt a strong hope that in the end they would be together. It was almost a conviction, but not quite.

She returned to work the next day and others at work would comment on how much better she looked or how much more cheerful. She noticed that instead of looking uncomfortable in her presence, they would smile more readily when they met or passed her and that in turn lifted her spirits even further. There was a spring in her step, a ready smile on her face and she could be heard humming a tune. Now she longed for Ged's return. 

It was like that for the two weeks. As the time for Ged to come home drew near she became nervous. 

Then came the week he should have been home. Monday passed and he did not ring. Jet lag, she thought. 

Tuesday came and by evening Cassie became distressed.

"He's not rung me," she told Cheryl. "He's had second thoughts."

"Don't jump to conclusions, darling," temporised Cheryl. "He may have had to stay in the States a little longer. Phone Catherine Styles and find out."

She did so and a sleepy Catherine told her that Ged had left on the Sunday evening and would have arrived early Monday morning. She suggested Cassie phone Ged.

"Don't give up kiddo," she said to Cassie. "Go after him. He'll be catching up on work, or getting some extra sleep; I worked him pretty hard in this last two weeks. You know what he's like when he's writing."

Cassie was about to dial Ged's number, but suddenly felt afraid of how Ged might react. She decided to go to the house the next evening after work and see him in person. In reality she was putting off the moment, and she knew it.

The next afternoon she steeled herself and drove to the house, but it was empty. On the doorstep she phoned his land line number, but she could hear the phone ringing, and it did not go to the answer-phone, nor did anyone answer. She wondered where he was, but did not think to ring Gus.

On Thursday she rang him on his mobile, and again there was no answer and it went to voice mail. She was tongue tied and rang off rather than leave a message. 

On Friday she detoured on her way to a late start at work to visit the house again. The gate was open and there was a car in the drive near the house. She was about to approach the house when the front door opened and she saw Karin emerge and go to her car and retrieve something from it. She was wearing a short bathrobe, her long legs were bare, and Cassie assumed she was naked under it. Cassie drove away.

She was now totally confused. She knew Karin had been with Ged before he went to the States, but had assumed that was all over. Perhaps Ged was not there and Karin was just staying. Her spirits sank. Perhaps he was there and they were still together.

She worked the day through like a zombie, and because of her late arrival worked some overtime. She phoned Cheryl as she left, her depression obvious even over the phone.

"I think he's decided to stay with Karin. She's at his house; I saw her; she was wearing a bathrobe. What am I to do now?"

"Come home," said the ever practical Cheryl. "Brian will hold the fort and we'll go out for a meal. You can tell me all and it'll make you feel better."

Cassie felt a little better and made her way back to Cheryl's, where she changed and the two made their way to her favourite restaurant. When they arrived, Cassie got out of the car and walked to the door while Cheryl parked the car. 

She walked in and was talking to the waiter, when she saw Ged and Karin at a table. They were talking intimately together. Cassie made her apologies and left, meeting Cheryl on her way.

"We're going," she snapped. "I can't go in there. They are there together. Very cosy. I've had enough. I'm going back home for the weekend."

"We could go in and talk to them," suggested Cheryl, but Cassie violently shook her head. "No Cheryl, I've had enough. I just want to get away."

"There may be an explanation–"

"Cheryl, he's been home for the best part of a week and hasn't even phoned. Now he's having a cosy dinner with her. Shows where his priorities lie. I've made up my mind."

Cheryl knew better than to argue and they returned to the house, where Cassie packed a bag and drove away. 

On Saturday morning Ged was up early, and after a hurried breakfast he drove to Cheryl's house.

"Oh," Cheryl snarled at him, "So after a whole week, you've at last found time for Cassie have you? Well, you're too late, she's gone back home. She's sick of being messed around by you and your blonde bimbo."

With that she shut the door in his face.

Ged stood for a long while, trying to digest what the harridan at the door had shouted at him. His blonde bimbo? Messing Cassie around? At length he made his way back to his car and sat for a while. Then he made his mind up, and drove back home, where he packed an overnight bag and drove off for the south and for Cassie's family home. It was a misunderstanding; he could clear it up in seconds. 

He did not hurry, the day was sunny and the motorways were thankfully more free of trucks than during the week, so he was able to set his cruise control and relax. It was a long journey and he arrived just after seven.

The road where Cassie's family lived was full of parked cars, and he had to park some distance away. He had exited the car and had begun to make his way to the house, when a medium sized car passed him and parked across the family's driveway. Ged stopped and sat on the bonnet of his car. He never worked out why he did that.

A minute later, Cassie came out with the man arm in arm, and they drove away together. 

A cold anger gripped Ged. So all her protestations of love and longing to come back to him were shallow and selfish. He wondered about her so called 'confession'. Here she was going out with another man three weeks after 'longing' for him to come home. He got back into his car, turned on the radio and took out a novel he had been meaning to read.

He had been reading for about half an hour when he realised he had not eaten since breakfast and he was ravenously hungry. Confident that her date would not end soon, he went to the fish and chip shop he remembered, and came back with a portion of fish, chips and peas in a polystyrene tray, a plastic fork and a can of fizzy sugary drink.

He finished eating and then settled to his book. It was eleven thirty when the car pulled up and Cassie and the man walked to the house, his arm round her waist. Then it was another three-quarters of an hour before he returned to the car and drove off.

Ged seethed with anger. He drove to the best hotel he knew in the town and booked in. He did not sleep for a long time, as one emotion followed another like waves on the seashore. There was not a lot of room for rational thought. If there had been he might have made a better plan for the next morning, a plan which involved actually finding out what was going on, but his feeling of betrayal, anger, resentfulness and loss overwhelmed him as it had on tour. 

It was early morning before he slept, and when he awoke still very tired, all those feelings returned with interest and he boiled within during breakfast and when he checked out.

Soon he was back at Cassie's family home again. It was nine o'clock, very early for a Sunday. He rang the bell. 

Cassie's mother arrived after some time wearing a dressing gown. 

"Ged! How wonderful to see you..." Then she saw the expression on his face and the words died on her lips.

"I'd like to see Cassie, please," he said.

"Come in," she said, all her happiness at seeing him dissipating. "Come through."

"I'll wait in the hall," he said. "I'll not be staying."

She said nothing, but gave him a puzzled look before going up the stairs. He could hear a muffled conversation in the quiet house, and after a few minutes, Cassie came down the stairs barefoot, in a tee shirt and jeans. She had a face like thunder, which took Ged aback. She stopped half way down.

"I don't know what you think you're doing coming here," she said, her voice cold and brittle, "but I've had about enough of you. So turn your flashy car round and go home to your blonde girlfriend who you've been fucking all this week. I now know exactly where I come in your order of priorities – way down. Not even a phone call – but then you've been too 'busy', haven't you? To think I was taken in by your so called concern at Catherine's. Lies, all lies. Go home Ged. We're finished – not that we've even started!"

She turned and went back the way she had come.

"Cassie!" he began.

"I don't want to hear it!" she shouted, "Go away!"

"You damned hypocrite!" he shouted after her. "Pretending I've done you wrong so you can come back here and fuck your boyfriend. I saw you last night, Cassie. Good riddance, that's what I say! Don't come near me again with any new sob stories!"

With that he turned and strode out, leaving her standing at the head of the stairs with an open mouth. 

He returned to the car and sat for a while, to allow his feelings of rage to abate before risking the drive home. After a while the anger left him and it was replaced by abject sadness. She was still the love of his life and she had destroyed all hope of reconciliation. In that depressed frame of mind he undertook the five hour drive back to his empty house.

As he neared his destination he had an idea and swung by Cheryl and Brian's house. He rang the bell, and it was Cheryl who opened the door.

"You!" she growled at him. "You've devastated that poor girl. Go away, you're not welcome here." As before she slammed the door in his face. 

He returned to his car and from there, outside Cheryl's house, he phoned her. As soon as she answered he launched his attack.

"Listen to me you stupid cow! I drove all the way down there full of apologies, and got there in time to see your precious innocent little girlfriend going out last night, all night, with a boyfriend; she didn't seem too broken hearted to me then."

He carried on, talking swiftly and preventing her from interrupting. 

"I never told her I would come running straight off the plane. I do have an occupation you know. Monday I arrived. I was jet lagged. Tuesday I had a long meeting with Gus and was exhausted after it – still jet lagged. Wednesday to Friday, I was in London working long hours with Gerard Frobisher. So yesterday, the first free day, I came to you. Thanks for your wonderful welcome. Then I showed how I felt about her by driving all the way down there. I don't know why I bothered!

"So I'm finished with her, and with you. You and she jumped to the wrong conclusion once before and this is where it's got us. You're both doing it again. Enough. Good bye."

He disconnected, and drove away.

 --- 

 Chapter Thirty Two

After the angst of his meeting with Cassie at her home, he entered his house but realised immediately that he did not want to be there on his own. It was mid afternoon, so he did not unpack his bag, but called a taxi and was soon on a train for London. He turned off his phone after disabling the voice-mail. He did not want to be found, or phoned.

Once in London he got a taxi from Euston to the Ritz, booked a suite and allowed himself to relax. He knew what he wanted to do. He switched his phone on and phoned Gerry Frobisher.

"Your gig tonight," he said after identifying himself. "Can you get me a ticket? I'm at the Ritz for the week, and I'd like to hear our stuff done live as it were."

"Delighted," came the reply. "Are you Alex Murphy or Ged Smith?"

"Alex," he replied.

"One ticket or two?"

"One."

"I sense you are not a happy bunny."

"You're right. Cassie's chucked me – again."

"We'll have to cheer you up. I know just the person."

"Go easy, Gerry," he said, his voice showing his reluctance. "I've come here to be alone and anonymous for a while."

"OK. Collect it at the box office," Gerry told him. "And come backstage after. I'll clear it with the door people."

The concert was a resounding success, and without pointing him out, Gerard thanked Alex Murphy for his songs and for the musical arrangements, telling the audience that he was in the hall. Ged then got a round of applause, in which he felt obliged to join, or he would have been recognised.

After the concert Ged joined Gerry in his dressing room, where he found two women. One, Sophie, he knew as Gerry's wife, and the other woman, Gerry introduced as his sister Robin.

"Short for Roberta," she said. "I hate Roberta!"

Robin was quite tall and very slim, nay, thin as a catwalk model. She had very little up front and a fairly flat behind, but a long swanlike neck and long legs. Her hands were delicate and her fingers long. Her pretty face was thin with prominent cheekbones, large dark eyes, a small nose and a wide generous mouth. Her hair was jet black and luxuriant. Her dress was long and elegant and a deep red.

"Robin is going to cheer you up tonight," said Gerry with a smile. "She's very good at that."

"Ged," Robin said taking his hand, "You are mine tonight. I'll do you good, believe me. I've been very moved by your poetry and your songs. We'll have a good time."

Ged was taken aback. This dark beauty said words which from many other lips would have been very suggestive, but not from her. There was an innocence about her which captivated but also unnerved him.

"I'm afraid I won't be very good company," Ged told her. "You'd be better leaving me before I depress you."

"Nonsense," she replied. "I've decided you need some TLC, and that's what you're going to get."

"I've booked supper at our favourite restaurant," Gerry said, moving to the door. "Let's go and eat."

Robin took his arm and hugged it to her as they left the building. He felt comforted by her affection, even though they had only just met. She was a vivacious young woman, humorous and articulate, and his spirits, which had been lifted by the concert, now lifted a little more. Until they reached the stage door.

Though he had been used to it all through the world tour, Ged was surprised by the crowd of fans awaiting Gerry Frobisher, and by the flash of cameras from the press. He hung back with Robin and Sophie as Gerry signed autographs and talked with the fans. 




Music Man Pt. 04



Then, from the crowd nearest Ged came a voice. "That's Ged Smith! Then a female shout. "Ged!"

He turned, unnerved by the recognition. The girls squealed and waved their autograph books and programmes at him.

"Go on!" laughed Robin. "Do your duty to your fans."

So he dutifully smiled and went to them and signed his name, and was told how much they adored him, and how they were sorry he'd left Furtive Glance. Some of the girls kissed him and others hugged him as he signed for them.

He was upset that his cover was blown, especially since the cameras from the press flashed again, this time at him, but he felt his spirits mellow at the girls' worship and admiration so long after he'd left the group. He glanced at Robin who was clearly enjoying the unsought admiration and affection of his followers.

Once the small crowd was satisfied, they moved to the car waiting for them.

"That your new girlfriend Ged?" came a gruff shout, obviously from a reporter. He ignored it, quickly got into the car with the others and they sped off.

The restaurant meal was excellent and Ged enjoyed their conversation. They chatted about their lives, and Robin was engrossed in the brief account Ged gave of of Zak's deception of Cassie.

"But you're back together now?" she asked as he finished his description of what passed at Catherine's,

"No," he said doggedly. "It's complicated."

"Tell me."

"Not now."

When they finished the meal, and left the restaurant, there were more camera flashes betraying the presence of paparazzi, but none made any effort to talk with them.

By an unspoken agreement, Gerry and Sophie got into their chauffeured car and drove off, but Robin stayed by Ged's side. He looked at her and cocked an eyebrow.

"Invite me to your hotel," she said with a confident smile. "I want to hear more about you and Cassie."

Ged sighed with resignation, called a taxi and they both got in. More camera flashes. Ged knew the gossip magazines would have a field day with the story. The pair maintained a silence during the journey, and on arrival went directly to the bar in the hotel.

With Robin's brandy and soda and Ged's Glenrothes Malt whisky in front of them, Robin leaned forward.

"OK, Ged," she said with an engaging smile. "Tell all... You don't mind me asking?"

She was so engaging he relaxed, feeling mellow. He shook his head. It was good to share it with someone.

"No," he said, and proceeded to go over the story. He had been used to telling the tale as a factual account, but with this woman he went into detail about his feelings of desolation and anger while he was on tour, and his confusion and mixed emotions once back home. He mentioned his song, 'Connie'.

"I've heard it," she said. "Catherine Styles has it on one of her albums. It's pretty bleak; gives me a good idea how strong and deep your feelings were. So what's happened since and why are you here on your own?"

Ged continued with his account of what had happened since he returned from the States, his delay in trying to see her, and her and then Cheryl's reaction when he followed her home to her parents.

"She's so unreasonable," he complained. "It's not as if we're back together again. I told her I would talk when I got home, but I never said I would see her first. She waltzed off to her parents and blamed me for having dinner with Karin, and not seeing her right away. Then she said we were finished."

"And you said?"

"Something like I never wanted to see her again." He had been gazing at his drink, but now he shot an embarrassed glance at her face. He knew he sounded like a spoilt child.

"Feeling stupid now?" she said gently, though it wasn't really a question. He knew she could see it in his face.

"Ged, sweetheart," she said with all the patience of a woman who knew what she was talking about. "You, my darling, are still deeply in love with her, aren't you?"

"I suppose I have been," he admitted, albeit reluctantly.

"You still are. Look, she's been badly abused in her life, and grossly deceived by that guy in the band – Sam, was it?"

"Zak," corrected Ged.

"Yeah, Zak. She was hurt by Zak, and so were you, but not by her. By Zak. I think you need each other. You both said you were finished, but it was in the heat of the moment, and I don't think either of you meant it."

"The fact remains she went down to her parents and went out with another man that night."

"Did you actually ask her to explain?"

"I confronted her!"

"And she attacked you in return. She accused you of bedding your blonde!"

"But she was wrong!"

"Have you considered the fact that you might be wrong as well? Don't answer, drink your whisky and think."

Ged did as he was told. Not for the first time he saw the wisdom in the advice he was given – rather too late. He knew he had to see Cassie, or at least try. His shoulders slumped and a grin spread over Robin's face.

"I knew you'd see sense," she said. "You're one of the good guys," and with that she stood.

Ged wondered what she had in mind. She read his thoughts.

"Much as I'd like to," she smiled, "I think it would be a bad idea. I'll get a taxi." 

With that she leant down, kissed him full and sensually on his lips, laughed and left.

Next morning, Gerry rang him.

"Fancy doing a little more work on those new arrangements?" he asked. "Since you're here?"

Ged had booked the hotel for the week, and decided Cassie would wait another few days.

"Yeah, Gerry," he said. "I could give you some time."

He made his way to Gerry's place, resolving to ring Cassie. Then he remembered again he did not know her latest number, and he certainly was not going to ring Cheryl for it after their last two exchanges.

"Oh, well," he thought, "now she really will have to wait."

 ---- 

Chapter Thirty Three

Cassie stood at the head of the stairs watching Ged's back as he strode out of the house and away, leaving the door wide open. She was trying to catch up with the heated exchange that had passed between them.

She had been woken by her mother from a deep sleep and this made her disoriented, tired and annoyed.

"Cassie," her mother had said, "Ged's downstairs asking for you. He looks upset and annoyed. You'd better go down and see what he wants."

A welter of ideas and emotions engulfed her. Cheryl had rung her the day before to tell her that she had sent Ged away with a flea in his ear. 

So now he wants to talk! She thought angrily. He drives all this way on a Sunday morning to talk? No way am I interested; he fucks that woman all week and then he comes running when he finds I'm annoyed about his delay in seeing me. He used to be strong, now he's a cheating weak little man like all the others. What right has he to be angry? Arrogant sod! He can bugger off.

So she had thrown on a tee shirt and jeans and had gone to go down the stairs. She had hesitated seeing him facing her up the stairs and looking angry. It had provoked her and she had stood still half way down, folded her arms and berated him about his girlfriend and told him to go.

She had turned and climbed the few stairs to the landing, when he had called her name, and she stopped and turned. She had told him she didn't want his feeble excuses, and then...

What had he said? She was a hypocrite? That she had accused him of sleeping with that blonde woman, so she could sleep with her boyfriend? Boyfriend? He was there last night? Why didn't he come to the house? 

Then it dawned on her. He'd seen her with Liam, and had jumped to the wrong conclusion. More fool him. Don't go near him again? That would be easy. And he called her a hypocrite while he'd been fucking that decorator woman. 

Anger gripped her anew and she went back to her bedroom. She stripped off the two articles of clothing she was wearing and wondered if she should go back to bed. She realised she was too wound up to sleep, and so showered and dressed for the day: the journey back to Cheryl's, and her job on the morrow.

She did not escape her mother, there she was at the bedroom door.

"Cassie darling, What was all that shouting about? Didn't sound like you were making it up with Ged."

"Mum, he told me he'd talk when he got back from the States. He's been back over a week and was in bed with his blonde girlfriend all week. I come home, and he runs after me. I told him to get lost. Then he had the gall to say I was a hypocrite because he saw me with Liam last night."

"So you explained who Liam was – why he came home with you?"

"No! He jumped to the wrong conclusion and ran off."

"But you had told him to get lost?"

"Yes but–"

"So he thought Liam was a boyfriend and you didn't enlighten him. Are you sure he was sleeping with this blonde girl? I mean you did ask him what was going on before you came home, and he did tell you he was with her?"

"Well, no."

"Cassie!" her mother was exasperated. "You married Zak because you didn't know the truth about Ged! I'd have thought you would ask questions before acting after that fiasco!"

"Mother," Cassie exuded patience. "I know he was sleeping with her before he went to the States. So it stands to reason he was with her last week."

"But you don't know. You promised him you'd talk before taking action when he went on that tour, and you didn't. Look where it's got you. You thought he was sleeping with someone then, and you were wrong. Cassie, the man loves you. He came driving all this way to see you. Look what he did for us. All that money – he paid off your wedding!"

"That was for you and Dad. Not me."

"Don't be naïve, Cassie. He did it because he loves you."

"But he said he didn't want to see me ever again!"

"And you told him to get lost," her mother said patiently. "You're both like a couple of little kids! You both need all the facts. You went to the States to tell him how you felt. You were so happy when you came back because he had promised to talk to you. You're now going to let it all go when you don't know all the facts – and neither does he!"

Silence, and an exchange of looks. Then Cassie hugged her mother, and turned to pack for the journey back.

She set off late in the afternoon and arrived after dark, but instead of going directly to Cheryl's, she called at Ged's house, only to find it locked up, dark and deserted. Disappointed she went on to Cheryl's, where her friend welcomed her with a hug and a kiss, but forbore from talking about Ged until Cassie had eaten and unpacked.

Then Cheryl guided Cassie to the sofa and sat her down. Cassie was puzzled but waited for what Cheryl had to tell her.

"Cassie," she asked gently. "For how much longer does this have to go on?"

Cassie shrugged her shoulders and sagged. "I don't know, Cheryl," she said. "We've been at sixes and sevens for such a long time. You know he came down and misunderstood my going with Liam to Dollar's place to visit him and Dollar. He wasn't to know that Liam was married to Dollar. So he was angry.

"I'd seen him with his blonde on Friday and shouted at him. I don't know where I stand – he was with her, there's no doubt about that. He didn't try to deny it. Mum persuaded me to see him and talk about things, but once again he's not at home. I'm starting to think it'd be better to cut loose and call it a day."

"He came here earlier this afternoon," said Cheryl. "His story is that he never promised to come and see you right away when he got back from the States, he went into some long rigmarole of meetings he had to go to. I tp;d you he came here yesterday morning. I yelled at him and he left."

Cassie sighed. "I don't know what to believe any more. I suppose I ought to see him then. I'll call tomorrow after work"

"Just get it sorted," said Cheryl. "This has gone on long enough. Either get together or finish it and move on."

Of course it was not going to happen. Cassie called at the house and again it was closed up and the same on the Tuesday. She tried to phone his home, but there was no reply and no answer machine. She tried his mobile but it was turned off – no voice mail option.

But next evening there was a development.

As she entered the living room, Cheryl had a number of newspapers in front of her. Cheryl looked up. "You'd better see this," she said and she was not happy.

Cassie sat down. Cheryl handed her the tabloid red top paper. It was from early in the week, and it was a show business report on Gerald Frobisher's concert. She shot a puzzled look at Cheryl.

"Read it all the way through," Cheryl told her, grimly.

The report rhapsodised about the concert, commenting on the arrangement of the songs. She read on. It then mentioned that the songwriter was in the audience – a certain Alex Murphy and that he got a round of applause. 

She looked up. "So Ged went down there from here. He must have gone by train."

"Read on," said a stony faced Cheryl.

"Leaving the theatre after the show with Gerard Frobisher, was his wife and sister and her new boyfriend Ged Smith of Furtive Glance fame. The party went to a top restaurant and then split, Smith and Roberta Frobisher spending the night in Smith's suite at the Ritz."

Cassie sat back in the sofa and the paper dropped from her hands.

"The Star has a photo of them going into the Ritz. They were arm in arm." Cheryl told her. "Want to see it?"

"No." Cassie's voice was low and lifeless.

It did not occur to either of the women that this was a repeat of what had happened while Ged was on tour. Somehow the fact that the tabloids had the story and pictures was enough. No one had brought the information to them, so it never occurred to them that their assumptions were false. The papers told the story in sufficient detail to convince them.

Cassie lay in her bed that night and tried to think what to do. She felt drained, as if the last shreds of energy had been sapped from her. Ged had lost no time in finding someone to take Karin's place; it seemed he had moved on. If she had not been so tired she would have realised it was too quick and out of character.

However, she was too tired to think clearly, and the thoughts came randomly, passing through her mind so rapidly she could not catch hold of them. 

Ged had spent time with Frobisher and his sister. 

He could have come to her when he got back. 

He wasn't that bothered about her. 

He'd been down there twice. He was with that Karin as well. 

He really didn't care about her. 

That time at Catherine's was a sham.

He said the right things but did nothing, actions speaking louder etc.

Her emotions were dull, and lacked the intensity of the confrontation when the two of them had berated each other. Now she knew she felt nothing for him but a sense of defeat, though she also knew that could be due to tiredness.

Abruptly she decided she needed to sleep and she would talk with Cheryl next evening. There would also be time at work to think things over. So resolved, she relaxed and fell asleep.

At breakfast, she made sure Cheryl was going to be at home that evening as she wanted to talk, and was assured she would be.

She did little work that day. She affected to be reading texts but she was thinking. 

She reprised everything: the abortion and the betrayal that followed; meeting Ged and their deep love. 

She had begged him not to get involved with Furtive Glance, and eventually made the sacrifice – letting him go. That was the moment, she thought, when their relationship ended. Yes, she thought, it ended. That was the key. The relationship was destroyed by Zak, but it was destroyed. 

What had they been doing since he returned from the tour? She had thrown herself at Ged one way or another. She had gone after him, but he constantly evaded or repudiated her. He gave her a task he clearly thought she could not possibly carry out – giving a reason for the extreme nature of her reaction to his perceived unfaithfulness.

All the time she was pursuing him, he was living with or at least having sex with the decorator. Previously he had a relationship with Catherine; he had been making love with her when Cassie had arrived with her news.

She smiled to herself as she recalled his amazement at her news. His reaction was typical of him, compassionate and affirming, and she had mistaken this for love. She had misunderstood his position completely. No wonder he had avoided her when he returned.

Now he was seeing Frobisher's sister, a strikingly pretty woman. He had moved on. In fact it was now clear he had moved on long before. Perhaps that was the reason he did not see any point in hurrying to talk to her. Cassie had thought he would have rushed to her side now his love for her was reignited by the knowledge of the abortion, but she was wrong; the love was not there.

It was typical of him to drive down to put things right with her. If he had not seen her with Liam he would have gently told her they were beyond reconciliation. So they ended on bad terms, but they had ended.

By the end of the day she had made up her mind. She would not change it. She felt sad and lonely; he had always been her greatest and deepest love. Now she must put him behind her, divorce Zak and then start life anew.

Once the evening meal was finished and the toddler was asleep, Brian said he would go and do some work and leave them to talk. The two women sat in the living room opposite each other, with a mug of coffee in front of each.

"You told me to decide," Cassie began. "You said make it up with Ged or finish it. Well, I've decided. I'm giving up on Ged. I'm moving on."

"You sure?" Cheryl asked. "You two were perfect together."

"That's exactly it," said Cassie. "We were, but we're not any longer. He's moved on already; now it's my turn to do the same."

"But–"

"Listen," said Cassie patiently. "I'll tell you my reasons." And she did, rehearsing what she had thought during the day.

"So you see," she concluded, "There's really no point in chasing him. He doesn't want me any more." 

"But you still love him, you still want him,"

"Cheryl, we can't always have what we want. It takes two to make a relationship. We have to make the best of what life throws at us. It's nobody's fault – except Zak's."

"Zak's won, then?" answered Cheryl after a pause.

"No," Cassie said decisively. "The time I had with Ged was infinitely superior to the time with Zak. I'll always have those memories, and always a revulsion for Zak. He's going to suffer big time for what he's done. He's going to hurt in the divorce, and Ged's suing him for the money he stole, and he's going to be tried for fraud and deception. No, Zak's not won at all."

"Suppose you're right," replied Cheryl with a shrug, but it was clear she did not agree.

Cassie saw it. "Trouble with you is, you're an incurable romantic!" she said and laughed.

"You're right," her friend said with a smile. "I want a happy ending."

"Not going to happen. I'll start looking for a flat tomorrow."

"You can stay, you know."

"I've imposed long enough," said Cassie. "It's time I began to live on my own for a bit; less inhibiting for you and Brian! You've been very good, but you deserve to have some time to yourselves."

Cassie could see the relief on Cheryl's face and knew she had said the right thing.



Music Man Pt. 05



Chapter Thirty Four

 Ged spent the remainder of his week in London arranging songs with Gerry Frobisher, and eating with him and his wife each evening. On the Friday, Robin came to visit.

 "You've phoned Cassie," she said as soon as she sat down.

 Ged looked at her in surprise. "No," he said. "I realised after you went that I've not got her number. She's got mine but hasn't tried to contact me. I've been quite busy you know with these pieces for Gerry."

 "But you can find her number?" came the rejoinder.

 "Well–" he began.

 "Do it now, Ged," she ordered him briskly. "Don't delay any more. Get it over with."

 Strangely Ged felt no resentment at her attitude. He knew he had been putting it off.

 "OK, OK!" he said trying to sound petulant and failing. She smiled knowingly. It seemed impossible to be angry with the girl.

 He left the living room and took out his phone. Then he remembered he had kept it switched off. He switched it on and keyed in Cheryl's number as he stood in the hallway. Brian answered.

 "Hey, Ged!" Brian chirped. "Long time no hear! Hey, man, so sorry about you and Cassie."

 "Yeah, it's a bummer," replied Ged. "Is she there? I could do with a word or two with her."

 There was a moment of silence.

 "She's not living here any more," Brian said hesitantly. "Didn't you know? She's got herself a flat. Cheryl's over there getting her settled in."

 "Oh."

 "You've not spoken to her, have you?" said Brian. "Oh dear."

 "I've not got her new mobile number. I was rather hoping she would phone me. I'm sure she knows my number." He wondered whether she had tried while his phone was off.

 "But I thought you two were finally finished, you know, broken up. That's what I gathered from what I've heard the women saying. Didn't you know? She didn't tell you?"

 "The last time we 'talked' it was a shouting match and I think we both said things in the heat of the moment. I wanted to talk with her and sort things out. If it means she's finished with me, it was no way to part."

 "Oh." Another silence.

 "So," Ged prompted, "Have you got her number?"

 "Er, yes. Hold on."

 There was a muffled sound of searching, then Ged heard the phone picked up.

 Brian told him the number. 

 "Thanks Brian," Ged said.

 "Good luck," his friend replied, ringing off.

 Ged keyed in the number. It went to voice mail.

 "Cassie, it's Ged. Can we talk in a better mood than last time? I couldn't phone you earlier, I hadn't got your number. Please phone me back on my mobile – I'm not at home at the moment."

 He went back to the family. "Voice mail," he said. "I've asked her to phone me back. If she doesn't, I'll text her. Some people never check their voicemail."

 The rest of the evening passed and she did not reply, nor on Saturday. He sent a text.

Please Cassie, can we talk? We seem to miss each other and misunderstand each other. Please ring me. Ged.

 There was no reply, nor did she phone.

 On Monday he was packing in his hotel suite when his phone rang. The ID showed him it was Gus.

 "Could you stay another week and meet Viv and the group tomorrow to practise and join them on Wednesday for a recording session? You remember you promised it them before you went to the States?"

 Ged sighed; he had begun to want home comforts after his prolonged stay at the Ritz, but he rebooked the suite and settled back in. He phoned his mother at length, worried that he'd not been to see her for weeks. 

 The next day he met the group at the studio and they spent the day practising. The recording session took all day Wednesday and Thursday until late in the evening. No one had mentioned Cassie at any time, for which he was grateful. Each evening he checked his email, his texts and his voice mail, but she had not replied.

 Ged invited them all to dinner on the last day and Robin came as well, since, like the group, he would be leaving for home the next day. He saw Viv's surprise when they were introduced but she said nothing until the group were leaving the hotel for their own.

 "I'm truly sorry about you and Cassie," Viv said, and squeezed his arm. "Robin is a lovely girl."

 That was all. It set him thinking. First Brian and then Viv had spoken as if it were all over between Cassie and himself, and he felt a pang of loss. He was also puzzled and felt as if the relationship was unfinished. There was no closure, and he wondered where he stood with her. 

 He wanted them to remain friends, and yet the opposite seemed to have happened. They were at odds; antagonistic towards each other. So it was in that unsettled frame of mind that he took the train home.

 He was glad to get back to the house. It welcomed him into its quiet embrace. He noted that Karin had been in and that the fridge and freezer were well stocked. He blessed the woman; even after they had parted as lovers, she still looked after him.

 On the train, he had read a recommended novel, had completed every puzzle in his daily paper, looked out of the window, and regarded his fellow passengers who seemed uninteresting. 

 He availed himself of every complimentary offer by the hostess in first class. She had seated herself opposite him when not busy and engaged him in conversation. There was none of the usual flannel from a fan, she was a more of a critic, and they discussed music and composing. 

 She was a writer in her spare time, and did her hostess job to observe people and to keep the wolf from the door. He was grateful for her intelligent conversation, like everything else it kept his mind from his besetting worry, Cassie.

 Now he was home, with a cup of tea and a welsh rarebit for his evening meal, the unfinished business began to plague him. 

 "It's no use," he said to the empty room, "I really have to think this thing through. This soap opera has gone on long enough."

 He smiled to himself and wondered whimsically if the house heard him and understood, but it sure as hell was saying nothing. Moreover he realised that was the problem between Cassie and him: they weren't talking. Yes, they'd had those heated exchanges, when what they really needed were a series of talks without losing tempers, without shouting, but going over the problems and trying to find solutions.

 He remembered with pleasure that Karin had put a Baby Grand Piano in the music room. He had been so immersed in his songs and had used the keyboard because of its effects and portability. In fact the last time the piano was played was at the house-warming party.

 He went to the room, took out a book of Beethoven Sonatas and put himself through four of them. It was his way of purging his complicated thoughts. Then he went back to the living room, programmed his music centre to play Mozart symphonies, opened a bottle of Shiraz and settled to sort out his thoughts and feelings.

 It crossed his mind briefly that when he wanted to think he went to Mozart and Beethoven, a far cry from what he wrote. As the music began to play, he set himself to think things through carefully and positively. There had been too much negativity he realised; he would not dwell on those times.

 He left it at that, only noting the series of misunderstandings and the negative feelings they engendered. He wondered if he had misunderstood what he saw at Cassie's house. 

 He reprised his encounter with Cassie at Catherine's. He homed in on his own feelings of tenderness and care for Cassie, what she had suffered and the revelation that had been for him. She had always seemed so self-contained, self-assured, but she carried that burden and along with it her distrust of making relationships. 

 What an act of faith her commitment to Ged had been in the light of that history! He knew if she had told him of her trauma he would never have gone on that tour, and he had told her so. They would probably be married now; he felt emptiness.

 The comments of his friends as he had left for the haven of Catherine's arms returned to plague him. What a fool he had been!

 'She's honest and faithful.' 

 'If Zak had not been there, would she have gone with anyone else?' 

 'Running away.' 

 'She's a victim like you.' 

 'You're totally self-obsessed.' 

 'Zak did all the harm, why are you loading onto her?' 

 'You're so wrapped up in yourself you're going to make the mistake of your life.' 

 'She'll find someone and have his babies.' 

 'A second best life.'

 It decided him. His own life would be a second best one if he did not act. He must see her and put things right. This time they would talk and there would be no angry recriminations, rather an earnest apology to her for being so heartless. Then they would see how to set about getting together again. 

 For the first time he felt optimistic about them, and there was a growing desire for her. He searched in a cupboard for her framed photo, took it out and placed it on the mantlepiece in the living room. He looked at her smiling face from a time before trouble befell them – she was so beautiful. 

 He felt happy and contented that all the trauma was going to be put behind them and they could look forward together once more. Her divorce would be final sometime in October and they could get married as they always should have done.

 Forgetting that Cassie had not replied to any of his messages or phone-calls he phoned her number, and again it went to voice mail.

 "Cassie, my darling," he pleaded. "Please ring me back and arrange a time to meet and talk. I've been a fool, and I want to put things right between us. I'm sorry we've been shouting at each other each time we've met, and I guarantee it won't happen again. We need to set things straight between us. Please ring me."

 He looked at the mantle clock and saw it was past midnight. She would not ring back tonight. He got a glass of water and went off to bed, where he slept soundly.

 On Saturday he could not settle to anything. He tried to write, but nothing came; he tried to compose but with the same result. He did some shopping, then went for a drive in the car. The day was warm and sunny and the trees were in their finery, fresh leaves giving a new look to the world. He hoped and longed for her reply, but none came.

 He remembered she always checked her voice mail when they were together. So, in a lay-by on a country road he sent a text, saying the same things. Again he did not expect an instant reply, but by the end of another fruitless day when he mooched around, pottering in the garden, trying to read a novel, and making another hopeless attempt to set a song to music he began to realise she would not answer.

 This time there was no anger, merely regret. It was happening again, as it did on the tour. She had cut him off. Now he felt the same loneliness he had before; the same emptiness.

 When the house phone did ring, he snatched it out of its cradle and fumbled with the connection button.

 "Hello?" he was eager and breathless, but it was not she.

 "Ged?" came a familiar voice from the past. Allan Drinkwater from university days.

 "Allan? How are you?" Ged asked. Allan had left to work in Germany. "You back for good?"

 "Just extended leave," said Allan. "I'm doing a bit at our London office as well. But d'you fancy a night out? A few of us are meeting at the Crown for a few drinks."

 Ged felt relieved; he could do with a night with some mates. So he agreed to meet them at nine that evening. He resolved to get a taxi, and perhaps stay in a hotel in the city centre overnight.

 When he arrived at the pub, it was not difficult to find the group. There was Allan, looking bronzed and healthy, and Gus was there. Ged remembered they were all good mates back then. There was tubby little Freddy, his round face grinning from ear to ear as he quaffed his pint, and lanky Des, gazing at Ged from under his bushy eyebrows, holding his empty pot in his hand.

 Ged took the hint, asked what everyone was having and went to the bar. They caught up on each others' lives and Ged's tour was of great interest. 

 The party broke up at closing time and Ged got a taxi home. The conversation and laughter had taken his mind off Cassie, but she crashed back into his mind as soon as he crossed the threshold. He sighed and went to bed, where, thanks to a substantial quantity of beer he fell asleep immediately.

 Sunday morning dawned wet and windy, and the dark grey clouds scudding across the sky did nothing for Ged's mood, but he had set his mind on going to see Cheryl and eleven o'clock found him on their doorstep.

 It was Brian that answered the door.

 "Hey, Ged," he greeted him. "Come in."

 They were sitting in the living room. In the next room they could hear the sound of a toddler playing with her toys, and Cheryl's voice as she played with her.

 "What brings you here, Ged?" asked Brian. "It's been a long time."

 "I need to talk to both of you together," Ged said. "Can Cheryl leave Sarah?"

 Brian nodded and went to get Cheryl.

 Cheryl came in, saw Ged, stopped and anger suffused her face. "What are you doing here?" she spat. "You're too late, she's gone. She's finished with you and your stupid temper, so I can't see why you're here."

 "Cheryl," said Brian quietly. "Shut up!"

 She baulked at that, with a look of surprise. He did not talk to her like that.

 "Just remember," Brian continued, "that you're as responsible for this mess as much as anyone. If you hadn't shut Ged–"

 "OK, OK," sighed Cheryl. "What do you want Ged?"

 Ged sat forward, "What do I want?" he said despondently. "I want none of this to have happened..."

 "Well," interrupted Cheryl, "If you–"

 "Cheryl!" Brian spoke sharply. "Shut the fuck up and calm down. If you'd listened to Ged in the first place this would never have happened. So button it darling."

 For the second time Cheryl was shocked by Brian's words. She was wrong footed, and slumped. 

 "OK," she said. "Sorry."

 "I came to apologise to you Cheryl," Ged said. "I should never have taken my anger out on you. I was bang out of order, so I want to repair bridges between us. Then I need to talk with you about Cassie. Is that all right?"

 Cheryl relaxed. She was a hot headed woman, but she forgave easily. She was also fiercely loyal to her friends, which accounted for her attitude to Ged.

 "You're forgiven," said Cheryl gently, "but as to Cassie, you're too late. She's given up on you and moved on. She wants nothing more to do with you. She was clear about that."

 Ged sat very still. Once again he felt that deep emptiness, that bereavement. It must be her new boyfriend back home. It was too late to salvage their relationship. Even so, he wanted some proper closure. He wanted them to be on good terms at least.

 "Oh," he said at last. "Is it her boyfriend back home?"

 "Boyfriend?" Cheryl said, perplexed. Then she realised. "Oh, no, Ged. You mean the man she was with when you went down after her?"

 He nodded.

 "That was Liam," she told him, "Dollar's new husband. She was going to visit them for the evening in their new house."

 "Then why didn't she say so?" he asked, now puzzled in his turn.

 "From what I heard, you didn't give her much of a chance."

 "I arrived to see her," explained Ged. "She stood half way down the stairs and yelled at me to go back to my blonde bimbo and never to come near her again. Then she went back upstairs. I didn't get a chance to say anything. I'd gone all that way to see her and I was under the impression she'd been out with a man the night before and I was angry at her hypocrisy, so I gave as good as I got."

 "Oh."

 "And by the way," added Ged with a smile, "Karin may be blonde, but she's no airhead. She's the one who's decorated my house and fitted it out. Come and see it; you'll see what sort of bimbo she is."

 "But you slept with her."

 "Not since I got back from the States. While I was away she looked after the house for me. When I got back from America, Karin came round and I told her what had happened at Catherine Style's. She immediately saw that our relationship was over. She'd been pushing me towards Cassie before I went.

 "But you slept with her before," Cheryl stated.

 "Yes. Have you forgotten? Cassie was and is married. I'd assumed she was not available – that she'd gone back to her first love, Zak. I was free; she'd cut me off."

 "I still don't understand why you didn't come and see her when you got back from the States."

 "I think I told you," Ged said patiently. "Jet lag, then my agent and lawyer, then London to sort out Gerard Frobisher. I came to you the first free day I had since I returned from the States."

 "But you were on a date with Karin the Friday you came back – Cassie saw you at the restaurant."

 Ged looked surprised then worried. "Karin had been looking after the house for me, Cheryl. Before I went to the States, she was urging me not to go but to find Cassie. That Friday she saw the change in me and that was the end of our relationship, at least in that way. The meal was a farewell and thank-you dinner. Why the hell didn't she come over and talk?"

 Cheryl shrugged. "Don't know. Too many rebuffs I think. But you've just been gone a fortnight," Cheryl said.

 "I left because I had been told by my love that she never wanted to see me again, and I was under the impression she had someone else. I needed to get away. I worked with Gerard Frobisher for a week, then my agent asked me to do a session recording with Vivienne's group. I had no reason to come back, so I stayed. It is my job Cheryl; it may not be very orthodox, but it's a job. With Robin's help–"

 "She's the woman you were with?"

 "She's Gerard's sister. She nagged at me and talked with me about Cassie and what had happened."

 "But the papers and the magazines?"

 Ged gave her a long hard look, and she realised. "Oh, shit!" she said.

 "I came back," said Ged, "wanting to talk to her and see if there was a chance for us after her divorce."

 "But you never called her."

 "I did not have her mobile number," he replied doggedly. "She changed her phone or the number when I was on the tour to stop me calling her. Brian gave me her new one, and since then, I've phoned and texted. She's blanked me."

 "Well, she said she had decided to move on."

 "And not to answer my calls."

 "That's part of cutting herself off from you."

 "For God's sake, Cheryl," he cried, "that's what she did while I was on tour!"

 "Oh fucking hell!"

 For the first time, Brian intervened. "Cheryl, darling," he said gently, "You're her best friend. Don't let her pass up this chance with Ged. The very least she could do would be to meet him and talk."

 "Not here!" exclaimed Ged. "The last time was disastrous. I would like to take her out to a good restaurant, and talk over a meal. Meeting in public will assure her there won't be another shouting match. I do love the woman, you know. Just get her to reply to me. Even if it doesn't work out, at least we would part on good terms."

 "I'm not sure I can get her to do it," said an uncertain Cheryl, "but now I know all the misunderstandings, I suppose there's a chance."

 "That's all I ask," Ged replied. "That you try."



----

 Chapter Thirty Five

 "Ged came to see us last night." 

 "Oh? What did he want?"

 Cheryl had arrived at Cassie's flat, and the two women had sat down on the sofa with coffee, and had exchanged some news when Cheryl had said the words she had come to say. Cassie's response was cold, even aggressive.

 "He wanted to apologise for the way he'd spoken to me, and to tell us some things about his life and to ask me a favour. He clarified a lot of things."

 "So?" Cassie's aggression continued.

 "What's up with you, Cassie?" retorted Cheryl with some heat in her turn. "Why so nowty?" 




Music Man Pt. 05



"I don't particularly want to hear of him worming his way back into your friendship, that's all."

 "Well, if you're going to be so bitchy, I'm going home."

 "OK, OK!" sighed Cassie with exaggerated patience. "How did it go?"

 "Very well." Cheryl stopped and drank some coffee.

 "That it?" asked a now inquisitive Cassie.

 "Depends on whether you want to hear some home truths."

 "I don't know what you mean. He's burnt his boats as far as I'm concerned. D'you know he's been phoning and texting me? He yells and screams at me, then when I ditch him he wants to 'talk'. What a wimp!"

 "What did he say?"

 "No idea, I erased them all. I'm not interested."

 "Like you did while he was on tour," Cheryl said flatly.

 Cassie looked up in surprise. "No. It's not the same thing at all. I was taken in then. Not any more."

 "No one's taking you in this time, sweetheart," muttered Cheryl, grim faced. "You're doing it all by yourself this time without any help, and you're just as wrong as before, and you're repeating your last disastrous mistake."

 "No I'm not!" she bridled hotly. "I know all about him this time."

 "Last time, I backed you up, and shut him down. What a disaster that was! You realise that if I hadn't backed you up, you'd probably be married to him by now instead of to that bastard Zak. So this time, I listened to him. You're so wrong Cassie, you don't know. You can shut me down and him as well, and you'll be making another bad mistake."

 "I don't believe you!" Cassie said, her voice rising.

 "How come everyone who disagrees with you at the moment is lying?" Cheryl said, her anger showing. "Why can't you listen for a change and give your self and your future life a chance?"

 "OK, convince me." Cassie folded her arms and glowered.

 "I've no interest in convincing you, you stupid cow," Cheryl was on a roll, "but the facts can speak for themselves. Tell me, Miss 'always right and badly done to', when he came to your house that Sunday morning, who spoke or rather shouted first. Eh?"

 Cassie stopped short. She called the scene to mind. Then realised. 

 "I did," she said. "He'd come running, after ignoring me for a whole week, sleeping with his designer woman. Then when he found I'd gone he realised what he'd missed."

 "And you told him?"

 "I told him I was finished with him, and to go back to his girlfriend. And don't deny it, he then went off to London and shacked up with that singer's sister."

 "Oh Cassie," Cheryl replied dolefully, now much quieter. "You're so wrong on everything. You told him you were finished with him, he shouted something back. Remember?"

 "He'd seen me with Liam. He told me he didn't want to see me again. Called me a hypocrite! The cheek of it coming from him!"

 "You enlightened him about Liam?"

 "Didn't get a chance."

 "Why?"

 "He left."

 "Why?"

 A pause. "I told him to get out."

 "You allowed him to leave thinking you'd found someone else."

 "Didn't get the chance."

 "You followed him to tell him and he didn't listen?"

 "No. I went back upstairs."

 "So whose fault is it he went to London thinking you had finally rejected him?"

 "But it's been like this all the time. I thought things had changed at Catherine's, but they're just as bad, if not worse."

 "You were both badly hurt. What do you expect?" Cheryl was gentle. "Now, will you let me tell you what he told me?"

 Cassie nodded, with a resigned air, but Cheryl could see there was still residual anger there.

 "First. When he got back from the States, he didn't think he had to come running to you immediately. He got over part of his jet-lag, then he was genuinely busy – his job Cassie.

 "Karin." Cheryl went on, "I think you called her a bimbo, looked after the house while he was away in London, working, all week.. That Friday you saw them was the first time they'd met in person since he got back from the States. She was in the house during the week, but he was in London the whole time.

 "He told Karin about your story, and what happened at Catherine's, and she saw it meant the end for her with Ged. So they went for a 'goodbye and thank you' dinner at the restaurant. That's what you saw.

 "Then he came to see you the very next day, his first free day, but you'd gone off home in a huff. Did you know that before he went off to the States, Karin was trying to get Ged to see that he ought not to go, but try to get back to you?"

 Cassie looked surprised but unconvinced. Cheryl sighed in exasperation.

 "Cassie! He's been with no one since he came back. He's talked with Frobisher's sister, and from what he said, she nagged him to contact you, but you had changed your phone number when he was on tour, hadn't you? So he had to get it off Brian. Honestly Cassie, there's been no one since you met in the States."

 "But we've shouted and insulted each other every time since."

 "Once! Because both of you misunderstood each other!" Cheryl said sharply, becoming exasperated.

 "I can't see us getting together though," Cassie asserted. "Too much hurt. I think we've drifted; we're not as close. So that was it? He came to apologise? So why are you here?"

 "He knew you wouldn't reply to his calls, so he asked me to come and see you. He wants to talk with you."

 "No chance! There's nothing to say."

 "What he said was that whether you both tried again or decided to part for good he didn't want to end things on a bad note. He wants you both to finish as friends – if that's what you both want after meeting."

 "We'd only end up in another shouting match, so there's no point."

 "He wants you to meet him in a restaurant to prevent that. He's inviting you to talk. I've given you the message. He'll wait for you to call him to arrange things."

 Cassie said nothing. She was wondering whether to trust what she'd heard. She needed to think about it.

 "Well," said Cheryl with a sigh. "The ball's in your court now. I can't do any more. But if you want my advice as your friend, I'm sure you should go. Try to be positive about it."

 Cassie shrugged but said nothing, and soon afterwards Cheryl left, hugging and kissing her friend.

 Once she had gone, Cassie sagged. It wasn't going to work. Whether she saw Ged or not, it wasn't going to work out. Their lives and relationship had been blighted, or even destroyed by Zak; they were different people now and what happened each time they met confirmed the fact that things could never work out between them.

 She smiled. Typical of Ged to want to part on good terms. He was a good man, but she was certain she could never live with him again; the dreadful thing she had done to him would gnaw away at her, she would also always wonder what he felt about her in reality after that. Sooner or later it would destroy them.

 She recalled what happened when he returned from the tour. She compared his attitude with how he had been before he went. Then he had been obsessed with her, totally smitten, utterly committed. Since he returned he had been rather off-hand. He had set his lawyers on her rather than talking to her. 

 She didn't think his assertion that she was a married woman held any water. Her marriage had killed something in him, and she knew she'd always feel guilty about that. He was withering and scornful during their meetings, and angry, always angry. The only time the old Ged came through was when she had confessed her abortion to him. Then he knew why she had acted the way she did, but instead of coming to her when he returned, he went to his agent, his lawyer, London.

 No, things were beyond hope. In any case, she had made her decision to put an end to things with him and to start afresh on her life. Now she had felt clean and at peace about that decision. It was better for her and he could go back to Karin or that singer's sister.

 She felt a sadness. She thought it was sadness over what might have been if she had told him of her abortion when they met, not that it had ever crossed her mind. Perhaps he would not have gone on the tour, he did say as much. Perhaps as Cheryl had said, if she had not broken her promise not to break up without talking first, they would be married. There would not have been this cloud, this shadow over them. Well, that was life, she philosophised, sometimes mistakes cannot be rectified.

 She made up her mind. She would see him, and they would part as friends, and go their separate ways. She would ring him in the morning. But she put it off for two more days.

 ---

 "Ged, it's Cassie."

 "Yes?"

 "Cheryl came to see me. She talked a lot of sense."

 "So?"

 "I believe you are inviting me to talk about things."

 "Er, yes. What about tomorrow, Friday?"

 "Fine. Where?"

 "How about seven thirty at 'The Apple Orchard'?"

 "No," she said, though the up-market restaurant was enticing, "Not for a meal. Meet me in the Crown. Seven-thirty."

 "Not the Crown," he replied, "It's the folk night; the group will be there."

 "How about the Plough?"

 "OK. Shall I pick you up?" he asked.

 "No I'll meet you there. It's walking distance from my flat. OK?" 

 "Well, OK."

 She disconnected. She felt a sense of relief. Again he was cool towards her and abrupt. That was good. It showed she was right to break with him for good.

 Ged on the other hand was disappointed. Her sudden phone call had wrong-footed him; he did not know what to say. There was no warmth in her voice. It sounded dead. He felt a sense of foreboding.

 He was right to feel that. The Plough was also Zak's local pub.



------ 



Chapter Thirty Six

 Ged was already at the pub when Cassie arrived. He stood to kiss her but she brushed past him and sat down opposite where he had been sitting. He noted the rebuttal and stifled a pang of annoyance.

 "What are you drinking?" he asked. They were the first words spoken.

 "Half of shandy, please," she said primly. He went to the bar and bought the drink.

 He sat down.

 "You wanted to talk." she said flatly. There was no warmth, only resignation, as if this was a chore to be got through.

 He baulked at her tone, but took the invitation with a sinking feeling.

 "I've had time to think and I'm over all my anger now. I want to try again with you. You know we're meant for each other, and we'd not be in this position if it wasn't for Zak."

 "Ged, every time we've met, you've been angry – in a rage. At me, not Zak."

 "I know. I don't want to keep going over all that. I think you understand the feelings I had while on tour when you cut me off, and when I found you'd been using our flat with Zak, and then marrying him in such haste. How hurt I was, and how deep that hurt was. You notice I'm not getting angry or resentful any more. Since you came to the States I understand why you behaved as you did."

 He took her hand which was on the table, and held it.

 "Please, Cassie," he said with pleading in his eyes, "We can get over this."

 She took his hand in hers, and he felt a surge of hope, only to have it dashed.

 "Ged," she said gently, "When I learned what Zak had done, I tried and tried to get you back, and you rejected me again and again. I had been grossly deceived and I'd lost you, but you ranted at me. And since I humbled myself and confessed the abortion, you've been distant. 

 "If you'd really loved me you would have come running as soon as you got back, even with jet-lag, but no. You waited a week. We're not the same any more Ged. I've realised that it's over between us. We can't repair this; something's been lost and I don't think we can ever get it back."

 "Please Cassie," Ged begged, "Don't do this! We can make it work."

 "No, Ged," she replied with great gentleness, "I've thought long and hard about this – I've had enough time – I'm sure we'll pull each other to pieces if we get back together. Best leave it here and part as friends."

 "You don't love me any more," he stated abjectly. "I've never stopped loving you, even when I was angry with you. How can you do this?"

 "I do love you," she stated emphatically. "Just not the same as before. Something's died between us. Best we part."

 Their hands were entwined and their heads close together.

 "Cassie, my darling," Ged urged. "Why don't we give it some time? Separate for a while and see if your feelings change? Please?"

 She shook her head. "It won't work, Ged. You'd be looking over your shoulder and you'd never move on properly. We need to be free to move on. So let's just admit defeat and part as friends."

 All the feelings Ged had while on tour returned in intensity, that hopeless, yawning hole in his heart. His shoulders slumped, and then he made a decision.

 "If that's how you want it, and you won't change your mind, I have to agree, don't I?" his voice a drone. "You might move on, but not me. When I knew you were married to Zak, I had other relationships. You'd gone. None of them were enough: it was you I needed and wanted, I just wouldn't admit it to myself. 

 "Well, not any more. No more relationships. Until you come back to me I will remain single and I won't touch another woman or enter into another relationship. Remember that when you find yourself another man – I will still be waiting for you. You might think it's over, but not me. Cassie, you can come back any time. I'll be waiting."

 "Don't Ged," she began to weep. "Please don't do that. You're tearing me apart. How can I move on when you're there in the background all the time. You're not being fair. Please say you'll start again."

 "If it's not with you, Cassie," he asserted with a set jaw, "it'll not be with anyone. You're so wrong about this. You're the one wanting to move on to someone else. So do it. I won't. It's your problem. For me this is a temporary separation."

 Silence fell between them. They held each other's hands and gazed into each other's eyes and both had tears in them. At length, Cassie's shoulders sagged and she sat back.

 "Time to go," she said.

 He nodded and they stood and left the pub.

 "Goodbye," she said, facing him. 

 He said nothing, but stepped to her and took her in his arms, and hers went round him. They hugged and then as if by common consent, they kissed gently on the lips. Then she tore herself from him and walked away. 

 Ged stood for a moment looking after her retreating figure which he loved so much. Then went back to his car.

 While they were deep in conversation, Zak came into the pub as was his habit, saw the two of them sitting close together, in loving conversation as he understood it, and turned and left, his anger rising.

 He waited across the road until they emerged from the pub. He watched them as they hugged and kissed each other and then went their separate ways. Zak had seen enough and went back into the pub, where he got himself stinking drunk.

 Cassie went home oblivious to the fact that she'd taken Ged to Zak's local. Indeed it did not occur to her. She chose it because she had been there with Zak in the past. It had seemed pleasant and quiet and it was fairly close to her new flat, so she did not have to drive. It was a serious error on her part.

 She had thought she would feel a sense of relief now that they had talked and she had finally finished with him, but that had not happened. He had been quiet, sensitive and, though she hated to admit it, very much the man she had fallen in love with. He seemed to have let go his anger and resentment at her. He had said he wanted her back, to try again. 

 In spite of feeling powerfully drawn once more to him, she believed in her heart that she was doing the right thing. However, Ged's assertion that he would be celibate and wait for her to return to him had unsettled her. Now she felt guilty, and it was with a feeling of depression and the niggling feeling that she'd made a mistake again with regard to Ged, that she went to her lonely bed.

 Ged went home despondent. All his hopes had gone, and the woman he had at last realised was still his perfect partner, had dumped him and moved on. The gaping emptiness he had felt on tour had returned to stay. As he reprised the meeting, his resolve to refuse all contact with any other woman hardened. Cassie was rightfully his soul mate and no one else would do.

 He sighed, had a glass of water, and went to bed, where mercifully sleep took him quickly.



--- 

 Chapter Thirty Seven

 The next day after Ged and Cassie parted and Zak had seen them in the pub, Zak, complete with a massive hangover, went to the band practice. Now that Ged had left the band, he had rejoined.

 "Fucking Smith!" mouthed Zak as he entered. He had been muttering the same imprecation all the way from home. Peter heard him.

 "What about 'Fucking Smith'?" he asked.

 "Sitting with my wife in the Plough last night, very cosy. Rubbing my nose in it she is. She knows it's my pub." 

 Amos still felt the sting of Zak's lies and how he had been misled by Zak. Now his spirits lifted, and he saw his revenge approaching.

 "Not heard then, Zak?" he lied cheerfully. "They're getting back together. They're getting married as soon as she's got shut of you. Wouldn't be surprised if they're not shagging each other rotten already. And then of course, he'll take you to the fucking cleaners over that flat thing. Man, are you in the shit!"

 "She shaggin' him?" Zak was angry. "If she's shaggin' him, I'll get her for adultery. She'll not get a cent from me!"

 "You don't know nothing, do you Zak?" said Joshua. "Makes no difference if she shags half the town, the courts don't care what people do. They accept one of you wants to break up and that's it."

 "I'll get him for alternating affliction," snapped Zak, "or summat like that."

 "You've been reading too much American stuff," Peter laughed. "You mean 'alienation of affection'; there ain't no such animal in this country. They look at what you earn, what she earns and divide everything up. You've got no kids, and you earn peanuts, and she's working, so they'll just agree to split up what you've got fifty-fifty. You're stuffed Zak, and I'll bet Ged's laughing his bloody balls off." 

 "Yeah," echoed Amos, with relish. "When he's finished suing you, you fucking moron, you won't even have your house!"

 "The bastard won't live that long," snarled Zak. "I'll cut his balls off."

 "You and whose army?" laughed Peter. "You do that, you get life. When you get out in twenty years you'll be an old man. Let it go, Zak, you'll end up in the shit if you don't."

 Zak said nothing, but his face showed he wasn't listening to any advice from his band members. He would get even, and then some.

 The new keyboard player, Lee Preston, smirked. Ged Smith eh? Stuck up bastard! He stole my girl. The grudge he had in school resurfaced as if it had never been gone.

 After the practice he caught up with Zak. "Hey Zak..."



----

 Chapter Thirty Eight 

 The first impulse Ged felt was to leave his house for somewhere else – anywhere else. Then he realised it was what he always did when there was a setback in his life concerning Cassie, so with characteristic obstinacy he decided against it. He would stay. He rather took it to extremes. Indeed he stayed mainly in the house or the grounds, seeing no one but Gwen his housekeeper, and answering no phone messages, of which there were mercifully few.

 He didn't even go to see his mother, though he spoke on the phone to her weekly. She, not being one to complain, was satisfied with that. She phoned Cheryl and got the whole story – the one Ged never told her. She wondered what to do, so she did and said nothing, waiting for the right moment. She was a wise woman.

 For a whole month, Ged buried himself in his music, spending all day in his studio and emerging only for meals, writing songs and some instrumental music, and writing poetry which he put to music. He even began to sketch out the bones of a musical.




Music Man Pt. 05



He realised he was becoming more and more unfit, and so broke his hermitic resolution to go for solitary walks, striding briskly out and walking for an hour each day when the weather was fine. When it was wet, he punished himself in his gym. Every day he swam at least twenty lengths of his pool. 

 The only direct human contact he had was when he did a weekly shop. There were the regular visits by Gwen Davies, his part-time housekeeper and cleaner, and by John Stubbs whom he helped in the gardens by way of further exercise. Gwen sensed his mood and restricted her conversation to practical matters, while John was by nature taciturn and Ged appreciated that, happy to take orders from the man who really knew gardening, and learning from him.

 The only phone calls to which he replied were from Gus and Graham, and were purely business related, Gus dealing with requests for songs, and finding singers who would want the songs Ged sent him, or copyright issues. Graham kept him in touch with the action against Zak.

 The exception to his self-imposed rule was the collection of poems that Cassie had written and Catherine had put together, which he wove into a song cycle, on completion of which he asked Gus to find out if Cassie would give permission for publication, and if so, to arrange copyright and royalties to be paid to her for any sales or performance. He received her acceptance, but asked nothing about her when Gus gave him the news.

 All other attempts to contact him were ignored. He kept his answer-phone connected, but deleted all calls without listening to them, but for the two. He did not answer the door except to the postman or other deliveries of which there were few.

 Emotionally his feelings varied from numbness to distress and loss, but along with that there was a nameless ache. It informed what he wrote. Some songs were aggressively dismissive, others plaintive, still others embracing a new start without one's love. Looking back, he recognised it as one of the most productive times of his life. More lately there had even been humour and irony.

 Towards the end of his exile, he noted increasingly frequent attempts by Viv to contact him, but he ignored them until Gus cornered him.

 "What the fuck is wrong with you, Ged?" he grumbled. "Viv needs to talk with you. Hasn't your sulk gone on long enough? Phone her!"

 He did and she invited him to the Cambridge Folk Festival at which the group were singing.

 "Ged, you've been a hermit for long enough; we miss you. Come and sing with your friends. Bring your guitar and your keyboard."

 Her voice seemed to awaken him, and he felt an attraction to the idea of performing again, so he agreed. The group, called Vivienne's Friends, came to him in his house and they practised there, putting together a set for the festival. It took four weeks to get it right.

 The group must have been warned by Gus about Ged's frame of mind, if not by his latest songs, and kept well clear of the topic of Cassie. He waited for the questions but they never came, and in relief he did not vouchsafe any information. Indeed he had none.

 The festival appearance was a success, with the group doing a number of the pieces they had recorded for the album, which was due for release a few weeks away. Ged sang some of his own songs which he had written while in self-imposed exile.

 The performances lifted his spirits for a short while, but his previous depression soon returned. He noticed Viv glancing at him with a look of concern from time to time, though she said nothing, but after the festival she invited him to join them at a gig in London. 

 "Please, Ged!" she begged.

 "I don't know," he said, his whole demeanour showing his depression and apathy.

 "Ged," she said patiently, "We're your friends. We're your friends from way back. Don't become a bitter recluse. Join the human race again, won't you?" She smiled lovingly at him, and he melted a little.

 "OK, OK," he sighed. "For you Viv. Only for you." But his smile gave him away.

 She hugged him and he hugged her back. They looked at each other and smiled again, and Viv's face showed relief. He appreciated her concern and her love for him, but as before, nothing was said on either side. 

 The gig went well, and 'somehow' it got about in advance that Ged Smith from Furtive Glance was going to be performing with Viv's group. The set they would perform had been extended and this went down well with the crowd. 

 Now because of his standing and because he joined the group late, Ged had a dressing room to himself near the stage door, and as a result, after the gig, he could hear an argument between a woman and the bouncer at the door.

 What made him leave his dressing room he did not know, but as he came to the stage door, he could hear a voice he thought he recognised, but the bouncer's large frame obscured her. 

 "But I know him!" the girl was pleading.

 "Yeah, yeah!" he was mocking. "That's what they all say."

 "But he was my sister's–"

 Ged came round the bouncer, and there was Marie, Cassie's sister, and another girl. 

 "Marie!" he exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

 "Ged!" she cried. "This man won't let me see you!"

 The bouncer looked a little uncomfortable.

 "He's doing his job," said Ged, casting a smiling glance at the man. "Fans of the group or more usually the press will try anything to get in. Come in."

 "So how did you get here?" asked Ged as they settled into easy chairs in his dressing room.

 "I'm visiting Joanna here," she replied, smiling all over her face, and indicating her friend. "She's a big fan of the group and we came to the gig. We didn't know you'd be here until I saw you on the stage."

 They talked about the gig and its success. Ged was amused at the look of awe on Joanna's face, and suggested that he take them to meet the group and then go for a meal with them all. It was selfish on his part; he wanted to look at Marie a little longer, it was almost like having Cassie there.

 He took them along the corridor and knocked and entered the group's dressing room. He led them in. Immediately he realised what he had done. All eyes turned to the visitors and all jaws dropped. Ged hastened to forestall inappropriate comments.

 "Can I introduce Cassie's sister Marie, and her friend Joanna."

 There was a collective sigh of disappointment.

 "Lord," said Viv, moving to shake hands with the girl, "You're so like her, I thought it was Cassie!"

 The rest of the group followed suit. Joanna was clearly overcome. The group put the girls at ease and chatted.

 Viv was wearing a pair of sunglasses high on her head. She had been wearing them during the performance, since the lights troubled her eyes. Marie admired them and Viv immediately gave them to her, insisting she take them against the girl's protests.

 As they left the room, Viv suggested to Marie she should wear them on the way out, since there might be photographers outside. So it turned out; there were flashes of cameras as they moved to the limo to take them to the restaurant.

 After the meal Ged invited the girls to his hotel suite, and they sank into the deep sofa while Ged took one of the chairs. He put out nibbles and offered them drinks. They opted for shandy, and Ged stifled a smile, knowing they usually drank something stronger, even though underage.

 "Some news," said Marie after they sipped their drinks. "Cassie has started to divorce Zak."

 Ged smiled, but said nothing.

 "Aren't you pleased?" she asked.

 "If she's getting shut of him, and she's happy, yes, I'm pleased."

 "But doesn't that...?" she hesitated to say it.

 "No, Marie, it doesn't mean we're getting back together. Cassie has made it clear we are finished and she wants a new start without me."

 "But that's plain stupid!" said Marie, becoming upset. "All that stuff was a mistake. She's crazy about you. Don't you want her any more?"

 "It's not my call," said Ged gently. "She doesn't want me any more. She broke us up. She wants a life without me. I wanted to try again. She didn't."

 "So it's over? The stupid cow!" Then an evil smile spread over Marie's face. 

 "Tell you what," she said. "Joanna's parents are away. We could stay the night with you. We could all have some fun. Eh Jo?"

 Joanna smiled broadly and nodded, "Yeah, Ged, we could have a really good time."

 "You could do whatever you liked, Ged, anything – you get our meaning?" Marie licked her lips.

 Ged got their meaning all right, and was totally taken aback. "Marie, Jo, that's a lovely thought, but I made a promise to Cassie. I would not go with anyone else until she came back to me. She might be free, but I would wait for her." He forbore telling them they were too young for him for fear of insulting them.

 The girls were silent. Then they sighed. 

 "Oh! That's so romantic!" whispered Joanna, her eyes shining with a hint of a tear.

 "You mean...? You're not going to...? No women?" stammered Marie. "That's plain daft!"

 "Yes," said Ged. "You could be right. If she marries again, I'll consider myself free to date again, but not until then."

 Marie sighed again. "OK," she said, "but wait till I see her. She's so pig-headed!"

 Ged changed the subject by getting out some signed CDs of his songs and giving them to the pair. They listened to the songs and talked about his feelings. Before they knew it, it was past midnight, and he suggested they should travel home. He called a taxi and gave them enough for the fare and more, and took them to the front door of the hotel.

 "It's been really cool," enthused Marie as she hugged Ged a little too tightly and long for comfort and grinned at his growing reaction as she pressed her stomach to his. Ged tried to frown, but her grin was too infectious and he smiled back at her.

 "Someone down there wants you to change your mind." she said wickedly, her eyes dancing. "We could still–"

 "Thanks, Marie, I'm really honoured, but my little friend will soon go to sleep," and he laughed. 

 "Not so much of the little!" she quipped casting a lascivious glance at his trousers.

 "Marie! I'm surprised at you!" he barked, but his smile gave him away. She giggled and kissed him again.

 Joanna held out her hand, but Ged pulled her to him, hugged her and kissed her lips. She too felt his excitement. Her confused, dazed and happy smile was all he needed.

 He could hear their excited chattering outside as they waited for the lift. Then they were gone and all was silent – apart from the din of London's traffic.

 As he finally shut the door to his suite, he felt drained and confused. On one level there was a little voice telling him he had the chance of a threesome with two nubile young teenagers and he had blown it. 

 Counter to that there was the conviction that Marie would relay the evening in glowing detail to her older sister and he hoped Cassie would feel guilty as hell. The striking similarity between the two sisters unsettled him and brought back all the sense of loss.

 He sighed and went to bed, and lay awake wondering where his life would go, feeling directionless. He felt much less depressed, and did not want to return to his solitary life back home. On the other hand he felt no need to find another woman for sex. 

 The thought of another woman brought an unbidden image of Marie and he hardened. He masturbated in the bed and came all over his chest. As he wiped himself down he thought that perhaps his right hand could become his substitute friend with benefits. He laughed to himself, then fell asleep.

 Next morning at breakfast, the group were giving him looks, as if to say, "Well, did you?" But no one said anything, and Ged said nothing for the whole of breakfast.

 As the meal ended, he said, "No I didn't; I made a promise that I would stay celibate at least until Cassie remarries, and I'm keeping it. I just don't feel like getting involved with any one else. OK?"

 They all nodded, biting back comments. They looked at Ged and he looked at them; it lasted quite a while. Then they all burst out laughing.

 "A question!" broke in Viccy. "There's a gig in Manchester in three weeks. Will you come along?"

 "To watch or take part?" Ged asked playfully. 

 "You know which!" she retorted with a reproving look, though she was pleased he seemed happier that morning.

 "OK," he said, and the group breathed a sigh of relief.

 Ged stayed after the others left and visited the Frobishers for a couple of days, then he went home in his turn.



---- 



Chapter Thirty Nine

 It had been on Friday 6th of August, the first anniversary of their wedding, that Cassie instituted divorce proceedings against Zak. 

 Graham had sent the relevant form and letter to the court, outlining Zak's deception as evidence of the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, and he had sent a letter directly to Zak with a leaflet explaining how divorces work in England, and urging him to get a lawyer or go along with the process; to contest it was always very expensive since if he lost he would be liable for costs, and in any case there was no way of stopping the divorce. 

 Cassie settled down to wait for his response, anticipating problems. She was brought up a Catholic and was married to Zak in a Catholic Church, and so she also began proceedings towards getting the marriage annulled by the Church because of Zak's deception.

 ---

Two conversations.

 "Hey, Big Sis, How's things?"

 "Hi, Marie, I'm fine."

 "You'll never guess who I spent an evening with last week."

 "Go on."

 "Ged. I was down in London visiting Joanna and you know she's nuts about 'Vivienne's Friends', well we went to see them and Ged was with them, playing his songs. He says you've dumped him. That true?"

 "Well, It's over between us. It's the best way."

 "You are the world's biggest idiot, you know that, Sis? Stupid!"

 "It wasn't working Marie. We're both better off making a new start."

 "You might be better off, but he's hanging on waiting for you."

 "You don't know that."

 "Oh, I do! I offered to stay the night with him, but he said he's waiting for you. He'll not move on until you marry again. You really are a silly bitch, Sis, obstinate!"

 "You did what?"

 "I offered myself to him, a pristine young virgin, for the night," Then she cackled, and Cassie wondered if Marie found the idea of being pristine, or perhaps a virgin amusing. She opted not to enquire. 

 "He refused," Marie continued more soberly. "Cassie he loves you, can't you see that?"

 "It'll never work, Marie. Too much has happened."

 "Well, get yourself another man, Sis, 'cos then I can get him!"

 "You're not serious! He's too old for you."

 "You'd better believe it, Cassie. He's not that much older. What's ten years nowadays? I'll wait for him. I know he's worth it even if you don't."

 "Good night, Marie."

 "OK, but you're so wrong. 'Bye."

 --- 

 "I'm so glad you patched things up with Ged."

 "What?"

 "You and Ged, down In London last weekend. It's in the papers."

 "Cheryl, I've not been in London, and Ged and I are not together."

 "But, the photos – look." 

 The photos were in the music press.

 "Look, it shows you and Ged, and the article says you are together again."

 "They got it wrong Cheryl, again. That's not me, it's Marie."

 "Marie? Oh shit! She looks so grown up!"

 "Yeah, Marie! Who threw herself at Ged when she heard we were finally over."

 "You're joking! She's only–"

 "Seventeen, Cheryl. Old enough."

 "And?"

 "And what?"

 "Ged shagged her?"

 "No. He said he was being true to me or some such rubbish."

 "You know, Cassie, you really need to ask yourself some serious questions. You accused Ged of always being angry, but you're so angry all the time when we mention him, and I think you're trying to convince yourself you've done the right thing."

 "I have done the right thing."

 "No, you haven't."

 "I know what I'm doing. Conversation closed."

 "OK, but–'

 "Cheryl!"

 "Zak?"

 "Graham has sent the petition for divorce. We haven't heard of a reply yet, but it's not due until next week, but I think it's going to drag out. I'm sure Zak will be awkward."

 "Typical."

 ---- 

 Cassie returned from Cheryl's place feeling annoyed. Why was everyone trying to get her back with Ged? Couldn't they see that a relationship with him was hopeless? She thought back over the five or six weeks since she split with Ged.

 She remembered she had felt relieved that it was all over and their constant bickering and misunderstandings were behind her. She had felt at peace, but even now was far from truly happy. She just needed time to readjust to the single life, she told herself. 

 She reassured herself that she had adjusted when she thought Ged was cheating, and had married Zak. While that was a catastrophic mistake on her part, at the time she was happy with Zak, so she could be happy again in future, though certainly not with Zak, she thought with a smile.

 She had gone to work and had buried herself in it, working long hours and returning home to her flat exhausted, to grab a supper and fall into bed. Weekends, she visited friends and especially Cheryl and Brian, who had obligingly kept off the subject of Ged, after seeing her expression when they at first mentioned him. In any case, Ged had disappeared off the face of the earth which was a relief to her.

 She had been enjoying the single life, free from responsibility to anyone. She was too tired after work to feel lonely, and her subconscious kept her from questioning why she was working so hard and such long hours. She was having a great time with her fellow workers at the publishers when they went drinking after work.

 The only hiccup in her new free life was the phone call from Gus asking her about the song cycle that Ged had composed. She had told him brusquely that he could do what the hell he liked with it. She was shocked when Gus went on to ask where she wanted the royalties to go. That did unsettle her, but she gave him her bank details. 

 Then the CD arrived in the post and that annoyed her. Ged was trying to play with her emotions to get her back and she resented it. She put the CD away without listening to it. The fact that it was Gus, not Ged that had sent it was lost on her.

 Now, of all things, there had been, in close succession, Marie's phone call and Cheryl's excited response to the music press's misunderstanding. Perhaps it was because she had not dated anyone that they thought she still felt something for Ged. Angrily, she resolved to put that right by dating someone. She never considered how stupid the idea was.

 Harry at work had flirted with her when the office heard she was getting divorced, and had hinted at a date, but she had deliberately and blandly misunderstood his intentions. He was a very good looking man, she had admitted to herself, and artistic as well, working in cover design. What was more, he worked out and had a good slim body. With all that he was gentle and sensitive, his flirting never crossing the line into anything too suggestive. 

 They had chatted about various aspects of the arts, and he had much the same tastes and interests as she had. She would date him, she thought, but keep the relationship low key; no sex for a good long time; she felt no need of that in the throes of the divorce, but some nights out with him would be quite exciting and different.

 Once she made her mind up, she felt a frisson of excitement and her anger left her. She looked forward to the date, though as yet she had not asked him out. 

 The next time Harry passed her desk, he stopped as usual to ask her how she was.

 "Harry," she said. "I've a couple of tickets for 'Die Fledermaus' at the Lowry on Wednesday, and I've no one to go with. Fancy a night out?"




Music Man Pt. 05



Harry's face registered shock, then pleasure. "Er, yes, er, that would be nice."

 "Good," she smiled. "I'll pick you up at six fifteen. OK?"

 "Er, yes – you sure you don't mind driving?"

 "I don't mind."

 He looked at her as if he had never seen her before, then he smiled, and as he walked on to his office, she heard him laugh to himself and thought he had a spring in his step. It was a nervous rather than triumphant laugh. 

 She smiled, and her spirits lifted for the first time for months. Life was looking up. It felt as if she was embarking on a new beginning in her life and she was happy. Well, happier.

 As they left the car in the multi-storey car park to walk through the outlet shopping mall to the theatre, Cassie took his arm, which pressed the side of her breast against it. He started with surprise but quickly recovered. He looked at her and smiled, and her heart seemed to miss a beat. This had the makings of a good evening; he was such a darling.

 By the time they had ordered their drinks for the interval and had taken their seats Cassie had silently reprimanded herself, so she sat beside him demurely, keeping a distance. She felt quite giddy, not so much for being with a man, but with her trip to the theatre. 

 She had not been to a concert or an opera since she went with Ged, and it was that thought that sobered her up a little. The thought of him always seemed to dampen things. She took control of herself again, and reminded herself that she was going to take this friendship slowly, and see where it led.

 On the way home, they discussed the performance in some depth, and Cassie realised that Harry knew his way around music and opera. She was pleased to find someone on her wavelength, and she warmed towards him. 

 They reached his flat building and they parked in the car park. 

 "Would you like to come in for a coffee?" he asked.

 Cassie had thought it out before they arrived, and politely refused his offer, citing work the next day. Everyone knew what being invited for a coffee meant! 

 "But we must do this again," she added, to mitigate the rebuff. In any case she wanted a repeat of this night.

 "Yes, I'd like that," he said, looking into her eyes. She felt herself melting under his gaze, but remained firm. There was a silence, which began to engender a little discomfort.

 "Well," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and breaking the spell. "Better be going."

 Their faces were close, and then hesitantly closer. Who kissed whom first, Cassie never knew, but it was soft and gentle and lasted a little too long. Cassie was breathless and sensitised. Harry smiled, as if he knew what the effect had been, and with a "Good night, then," left the car.

 Her thoughts were in turmoil as she drove back. She wondered why she felt a sense of apprehension at the kiss, as if in some sense she was not being honest with him, or that the new relationship was not real. She savoured the kiss though; he was a good kisser! She giggled like a school girl.

 The next day he invited her to a play in town on the Friday, and it was one she had wanted to see, so she agreed.

 "My turn to drive," he said with a grin which she found enchanting. "Pick you up at six thirty?"

 This time he dropped her off but she did not invite him in, though she offered herself up for a kiss, which turned into a few, and his hand grazing her breast, while hers played with his hair. Then she made her escape.

 "This is moving a little too fast for me," she said out loud to the empty flat. "Slow down girl, you're behaving like a teenager."

 The words provoked a vision of Douglas which flashed before her mind and immediately she felt cold and uncertain. Harry seemed kind and gentle, but was he genuine? Every serious relationship she'd had, had been disastrous in the end. 

 She needed to be more circumspect, though she now wanted him, and wondered if she could resist him if they got too intimate. Again came that feeling of impending trouble and unreality, which she couldn't fathom.

 It was a relief next day when Cheryl asked her to come over in the afternoon and babysit that evening, staying overnight and having lunch with them on Sunday. She said nothing about her evenings with Harry, and Cheryl kept away from the topic of Ged Smith.

 Harry was back at her desk on Monday morning.

 "I was going to ask you to come out for a drink," he said as he leaned on her desk, "but you were out all weekend. I missed you. Fancy a drink tonight?"

 "I was babysitting for friends," she replied, looking up into his mesmerising eyes. "Not tonight, Harry. I have to do my laundry and iron my things."

 "Tomorrow?"

 Cassie felt a little pursued, but flattered he should be so attentive, nay enthusiastic. She had an idea.

 "How about grabbing a bite to eat and then a quick drink in town after work. Save cooking?"

 He looked both relieved and enthusiastic. "Great idea! OK, it's a date!"

 Once again, Cassie found Harry's company enthralling. No one she knew, apart from Ged, was so in tune with her thoughts and ideas and so well versed in every aspect of the arts, musical, spatial and literary. They chatted all through the wholesome pub meal and over drinks afterwards.

 Gradually as the evening progressed she felt herself drawn more and more to him, and took his hand when they waited for the taxi. In some ways holding hands is more intimate than walking arm in arm. He looked at her and smiled at the gesture and she melted inside. She now wanted him badly.

 In the taxi he kissed her and she kissed him back, hard. His hands began to wander over her body, down her sides and over her breasts, while she ranged over his back and hair. They parted panting, looked at each other and laughed.

 The taxi drew up at Harry's place.

 "Coming inside?" he asked, tenderly pushing a tendril of hair off her face, and suddenly she felt uncertain and even afraid. A clear picture of Ged doing just that at Catherine's flashed across her mind. It dampened her spirits.

 "I'd love to, but this is all a bit too quick for me," she said, touching his face. "Give me a little more time, OK?"

 "Come for dinner on Friday?" he begged. "I'll cook. You'll like it."

 She did not hesitate. "I'd love to," she said with a smile. He kissed her briefly, and left the taxi.

 Her heart was beating hard as the taxi took her the remaining couple of miles to her flat. She wondered why she backed off when it was clear where their relationship was going. 

 She suspected that she would end up in his bed on Friday and she felt excited at the prospect. She longed for his love, and she just knew he would be a gentle and thoughtful lover. 

 But longer term? She felt a little fear at that thought, and there was that other niggle. Something was not quite right. It was not him, but something in her, she knew.

 At work for the rest of the week, he came by and chatted, and they looked at each other with smiled, and caught each other's eyes and smiled, and had lunch together and smiled. Cassie was exhilarated. After so long in turmoil her emotional life seemed for once to be going her way. Her nameless fears were gradually fading away.

 She could not keep it to herself and visited Cheryl and Brian and broke the news to them, her eyes shining.

 "His name's Harry Martinson. He's handsome and tall, and so well and widely read, and he likes all the things I do. We've been to an opera, and a play. Do you know how long it is since I've been to a theatre?"

 Cheryl seemed less than impressed. "Since Ged?" she asked rather pointedly.

 Cassie nodded, the implication of Cheryl's response eluding her in her enthusiasm. "He's so easy to talk to. He designs book covers, and works doing layouts – fonts, you know the sort of thing," she babbled. "He's cooking a meal for me on Friday, and I think he's expecting I'll spend the night."

 Cheryl and Brian smiled, but their hearts were not in it. Cassie became aware of it at last.

 "What's the matter?" she asked, a little distressed. "Aren't you happy for me? I've lived in misery for ages, and this is the first good thing to happen."

 "Yes, of course, we're glad you're happy," said Brian, "but don't you think you could be on the rebound? It's very quick after you finished with Ged."

 Cassie was about to deny she was being precipitous, but stopped herself to think. She was always open to opinions, and took her friends' ideas seriously – except where Ged was concerned.

 Into the silence, Cheryl spoke.

 "Cassie, darling," she said gently, "We've watched you fall in love a number of times. Zak the first time, Ged, and then Zak the second time. Each time you fell instantly, you were having sex in short order, and moved in with your lovers almost as quickly. Each time, you knew it was the real thing, and each time it went sour. 

 "Cassie, you're doing it again. Slow down. If Harry's the man you're going to settle with for good, he'll wait. Don't fall into bed too soon. Brian is right, this could be a rebound reaction. We only want you to be happy – but long term."

 "Wow!" Cassie responded. "You sure know how to deflate a person!"

 "We care," Cheryl added. "We care about you a lot. You are impetuous, you know."

 "Um," Cassie looked thoughtful and sat for a while, Cheryl and Brian waiting patiently.

 "Well," she said at length. "I suppose you're right. I need to think things through a lot more. I hardly know him really, though the chemistry is there in spades. Yes, I need to take things slowly. You know, I told myself that before asking him out–"

 "You asked him?" Cheryl gasped.

 "Come on, Cheryl," she replied with a laugh. "It's the twenty first century, and he isn't the sort to push himself forward. He knows I'm getting divorced, and I know he didn't want to hit on me like a few of the other blokes at work."

 "You were saying?" Cheryl prodded.

 "I thought I needed to take it slow, but once we got together it sort of snowballed. You are right, I do jump into things, and I do need to take it slowly. I'll have a talk with him on Friday, though it'll take some willpower not to jump him, he's so yummy!" and she laughed in embarrassment.

 As she made her way home, she pondered over what was said, and she realised that she had committed herself far too quickly in the past, and knew more clearly than ever where it had got her. 

 She lumped together her three affairs – Zak, Ged and Zak again, but did not stop to think it was her own impetuous reaction to Zak's lies about Ged which had destroyed her relationship with Ged. She was thinking about the future, about Harry.

 If she wanted this new relationship to work, she would have to be more cautious. She needed to test Harry's resolve and his commitment to her by keeping clear of sleeping with him for a good long time. She was not at all sure she would be able to do that; she was feeling the lack of a male presence that way, though she was certainly going to try. Perhaps wait until the divorce was through? That would be so hard!

 --- 

 She had worried about what to wear to give the right signals, and in view of an unseasonably hot day had settled for a lightweight blue frilled top with a 'V' neck showing a hint of cleavage, and a pale blue denim skirt which came half way up her thighs. Underneath, a sheer light blue push-up bra and matching low rise bikini knickers would be fine. She assured herself that Harry would not be seeing her underwear, and that she was wearing it because it was light in the heat. No stockings or tights, and some lightweight strappy sandals with medium heels. 

 She arrived to be swept into his arms and kissed sensuously, a kiss she returned with interest and enough of an open mouth to invite his tongue. The invitation was accepted and while they frenched each other, his hand found its way under the hem of her top to caress her bare back. As he began to fiddle with her bra-strap she pulled gently away from him.

 "Harry, were we going to have dinner together?"

 He smiled, not in the least discomfited, and nodded, "It's nearly ready, come into the kitchen while I finish off."

 "And Harry," she added, as he put his arm round her to guide her to the cooking, "After dinner I need to have a talk with you. OK?"

 "Fine!" he answered, though his smiling face betrayed disappointment as if he guessed what was coming.

 Thus it found them sitting on the sofa in Harry's living area after what she had to admit (and she had told him) was a superb meal. She caught herself thinking he cooked as well as Ged did, and there was the slightest tendril of regret, quickly banished.

 "So what d'you want to say?" Harry asked her, his eyes on her attentively.

 "I just want to clarify where we stand with each other, or rather where I stand." 

 She stopped and drew a breath.

 "We've been seeing each other for just two weeks, and things are moving a little too quickly for me," she began.

 "Don't you like our dates? I mean–"

 "Let me try to explain," she cut across him. He sat back.

 "You know – let's face it everyone at work knows – I'm going through a divorce at the moment."

 "I know; everyone's–"

 "Let me get this out, Harry."

 He relaxed. "Sorry," he said and smiled encouragingly at her.

 "You don't really know me, and I don't think I'm ready to share very much of my past life with you at the moment, perhaps in time, but not now, but what I can say at the moment is that I've been through hell and back in relationship terms over the past year or so. I let someone down, and I've been badly let down more than once. 

 "I'm too close to all that, and I think we are going too far too fast. You understand?"

 "But you're OK with things as they are?" he asked, sitting forward.

 "I love being with you, I love you being affectionate, the hugs and kisses. I just don't feel I can go any further at the moment."

 "I'm OK with that, I'll wait till you are ready."

 Her heart surged with love for him at that, and she kissed him hard, twisting her body against his, and pressing herself against him. He stroked her back inside her top, but made no attempt to undo her bra. His hands felt hot against her skin.

 She felt relieved and trusting, laid her head on his shoulder, and they listened to the gentle jazz playing on the music centre, chatting about the music, and the musicians. Then he refilled their wine glasses and they settled again.

 At length the sporadic conversation turned to their relationship and he told her how deeply she had affected him, and how he had wanted her for so long, but knew she was married and would not interfere. 

 He said he saw her misery when it started the previous summer and ached to comfort her, but her married status inhibited him. He noted she took a good deal of time off work, and heard she had gone to the USA, and when she returned she seemed happier for a short time, before her sadness returned.

 She wondered to herself how he had missed the press reports which had photos of her linked with Ged Smith, and realised he didn't read the tabloids, and folk and rock music had no interest for him. She made up her mind to educate him in the finer aspects of rock, folk and country music.

 He was saying how he wanted her to be happy, and he would do everything in his power to bring that about. They kissed again, and again she felt his arousal as he stroked her back.

 It was ten o'clock before they realised it, and Harry put the ten o'clock news on the television, and they watched it, commenting on the items as the procession of misery unfolded, as it seemingly did every night. Towards the end of the half hour the items became more trivial and they began to kiss again.

 This time as his hands ranged over her back, she felt him fiddling with her bra. She was so relaxed, and her libido had risen so much that she did not care what he did. The kiss continued she felt him undo the clasp and her breasts were released. She gasped as he pushed up her top and exposed her loosened bra and her breasts to his gaze.

 A sigh escaped his lips.

 She did not care even when his hands stroked the sides of her breasts, and when he grazed over her nips she moaned with passion. Her hands wandered down his back, round his hips and onto the front of his pants, where she felt the bulge of his arousal and absently stroked him.

 He cupped her breasts and she moaned anew, pushing them into his hands, and her fingers began to unfasten his fly, probing inside to find his manhood. 

 In the background the programme had changed to local news. She had found the opening in his boxers, and was delving through to find his erect penis, when she thought she heard the newsreader say something about breaking news, and Ged's name. She stiffened and raised her head.

 And caught the rest of the item. 

 "...Smith had been performing at the Water Hole and was attacked by three men wearing masks. The men ran off when the doormen from the club ran towards them. Mr Smith was taken to Manchester Royal Infirmary, where he is undergoing treatment for his injuries..."

 She did not wait to hear any more, but jumped up, pulling her hand out of Harry's boxers, and knocking a surprised Harry backwards against the sofa. She was already re-fastening her bra when Harry found his voice.

 "Cassie, what's up? Why are you–?"

 "I've got to go," she gasped, fishing her phone out of her bag. "Metro Taxis?" she said rapidly. "I need a cab to get me to Manchester Royal Infirmary urgently." She gave Harry's address.

 "I don't understand," Harry begged. "Where are you going? I'm sorry I undid your bra, I just got carried away."

 "Didn't you hear the news?" she asked as she pulled her top over her bra and straightened it and her skirt, then began brushing her hair.

 "Some rock star getting into a fight? Dead drunk probably. Ged someone?" Harry suggested.

 "I've got to go," she said urgently. 

 "Cassie!" he shouted. "Make sense!"

 "No time," she said as the taxi hooted. "You know I told you I had a bad time this last year? Well Ged Smith's part of it. I'll explain on Monday." With that she was gone, leaving Harry totally puzzled and extremely frustrated.

 In the taxi she got a call from Cheryl.

 "You heard about Ged?" Cheryl asked. "Viccy phoned me asking where you were. She had your number but you've changed it. She said he was semi-conscious saying your name. Cassie, he's been beaten up."

 "I know, I'm on my way to MRI now."

 "Cassie, darling, it's his hands. They stamped on his hands."



----



Music Man Pt. 06



Chapter Forty

Ged had felt much better since he involved himself with Viv's group, though his aimlessness and apathy would often return once he was home and alone. 

Now he was out in public once more, he was often hit on by young women, and some of these were very pretty, but he steadfastly refused all advances politely, however much their lustful interest cheered him up and provoked a genital reaction. 

His immunity to such approaches was of long standing and well known, and he suspected that some of the women wanted to see if they could entice the unenticable, and attain the unattainable. 

It was after one of their practices in the week of the Friday gig that Viv approached Ged quietly away from the rest of the group to tell him that a friend of hers had seen Cassie with a very handsome man at the opera, and that they seemed very close. It arrested him. Until then he had not really believed she would find someone else, and certainly not so soon.

Then on Thursday, Cheryl rang him.

"Ged, there's something I think you need to know." she opened.

"Cassie's been seen with a man," Ged answered.

"Has she?" Cheryl said with some surprise. "I mean I knew she was seeing someone, that's why I'm ringing. So, someone's seen them together."

"So, if that's all?" 

"No, Ged," she said decisively. "You should know that she's really taken with this man. We tried to slow her down, but you know from your own experience how quickly she falls for a man she likes - someone gentle, sensitive, caring - like you, you know?"

"So did you?"

"Did we what?"

"Slow her down."

"Don't know." Cheryl paused. "But we were pretty heavy with her, reminding her that being so quick hasn't exactly done her any favours, so perhaps she's thinking about it."

"I don't see what it has to do with me," Ged said doggedly.

"Well, she won't tell you, and if she settles for this Harry, you'll be free to find someone else yourself, but you need to know if that happens."

"Thanks Cheryl," he said as warmly as he could manage. "You're very good to me."

"That's what friends are for. You've had a raw deal from everyone, including me. The least I can do."

The news sharpened his feelings of loss and rejection, and as a result his performance on Friday evening was acutely moving for the audience and for the group. 

After the set the group gathered round to congratulate him, and he began to feel better. He recognised his performances were cathartic for him and the group enthused over his performance, so he was cheerful and happy as he left the club, his guitar slung over his shoulder and carrying the keyboard case in the other hand.

It happened quickly. It happened too quickly for Ged to react, and by the time he could have reacted, he was in no condition to do so.

The club's entrance was in a side street, about a hundred metres from a main thoroughfare. As Ged reached the main road, his arms were pinioned behind him from behind, his instruments hit the ground, a face came into view, behind a mask of some actor or comedian he didn't know. 

The face head-butted him hard, and he would have fallen back if he had not been supported by the man behind pushing his arms together behind his back, pushing him towards the face, who kicked him in his genitals. Again Ged would have crumpled forward but he was held as he was punched viciously in the stomach this time. He was winded, and the man behind let go so that he fell to the ground.

He hit his head on the pavement, and partially lost consciousness. He was foggily aware of pain, sharp jabs as the assailants kicked and stamped, and a severe ache all over. Suddenly the jabs of pain stopped, and in his dazed state he realised his hands hurt like hell. He felt people around him, and being lifted onto a stretcher, then everything went black.

-- 

Cassie burst through the doors of the Accident and Emergency entrance to the hospital and stopped short, searching all round until she saw the group, sitting together on the second row of seats in the waiting area, which was full of people waiting to be seen.

She expected a rebuff, but instead there was a look of relieved recognition on Viv's face.

"Thank God!" Viv said. "I couldn't reach you. I suppose Cheryl-"

"How is he?" Cassie broke in. "Is he going to be OK?"

"They won't tell us anything, but the receptionist was asking for you."

"For me?" Cassie said, puzzled. "Why me?"

"Go and ask her," said Viv, pointing to the reception office. 

So she did.

"I think you were looking for me," she said to the middle aged woman behind the glass. "I've just arrived, I'm Cassie Copthorne."

"No dear," said the woman with a friendly smile. "We're looking for a Cassandra Fenton."

"That's my maiden name," Cassie clarified, "before I married."

The woman smiled at her response, "Oh, that's fine. You are Gerald Smith's next of kin?"

"Am I?" Cassie asked, perplexed. "I didn't know."

"Well, it's on the donor card in his wallet."

"We used to be engaged."

"Well, do you want to take responsibility for him as next of kin? He's being treated provisionally, but because he's unconscious, we need his next of kin to authorise more serious operations. Will you do that?"

"Unconscious?" she cried, "Is he-"

"I'll get someone to come and talk with you. Are you with that group of people over there?"

"Yes, they're friends. He's a musician; he plays with them."

"If you'll go over there and wait, I'll get someone to come and see you."

Cassie made her way back to the group.

"Viv," she urged, "What's happened? All I know is he's been attacked, and something about his hands."

Viv's face clouded. "We got called out of the club after the event, but Ted, one of the bouncers, told us he and Norman saw Ged get to the corner of Thomas Street and then three blokes jumped him. They were wearing those look-alike masks. 

"Ted and Norm ran to break it up, but it's quite a way down the street and they'd beaten Ged up before Ted got there. They'd kicked at him, and get this, one of them had knelt down and pulled Ged's hands out while one of the others jumped and stamped on them. The third bloke was kicking at Ged's backside. I think he was trying to kick his balls. Anyway they ran off as Ted arrived and one of them lost his mask as they ran.

"When we got there, Ged was semi-conscious and Norm was putting him into the recovery position. He stirred and groaned and then said your name a number of times. I know you've finished with Ged, but I thought it might help him if you came.

"Anyway the police came and an ambulance, and I had to shout and yell at them before they'd let me come with him. He was delirious, saying your name, mumbling something about someone called Harry. We got here and they took him away. They won't tell us anything."

While Vicky was speaking a young doctor arrived, invited Cassie and the group to follow him and took them to a room off the main waiting area. 

"Well Mrs Fenton," he said, after he had seated them all, "Mr Smith has gone for X-rays on his skull, his chest and his hands. We've checked him over and we don't think any of his ribs are fractured, but we want to make sure. Same with his head. But his hands are a different matter. There are a lot of breaks in the bones of his right hand, and probably his left as well, though not as many. 

"His genital region is badly bruised and swollen, and we've had to catheterise him. There are other contusions but they are not so serious, though his face will be a mess for a while. He's in no immediate danger, but we are worried about possible brain injury, and we'll be keeping a keen eye on him for that. He'll be getting a MR scan later."

"So what will happen next?" It was Viv who asked; Cassie looked shocked and pale.

"That depends on the X-rays," the young doctor replied. "We've contacted our orthopaedic consultant and he will be here within the hour. He's very good and I suspect he'll want to operate on Mr Smith's hands at the very least, and quickly.

"Mrs Fenton, would you be prepared to consent to the operation? Mr Smith is heavily sedated at the moment and we feel it would not be in his interest to bring him out of that. There is a lot of damage to his hands, and the pain would be intense."

Cassie was still abstracted. She did not correct the doctor as to her marital name.

"Mrs Fenton?" asked the doctor.

"Cassie!" Vicky spoke sharply, and Cassie jumped.

"Will you sign for the operation?" she asked her.

"What? Oh yes, of course."

"Good!" said the doctor, showing his relief, "The surgical registrar will be in in a minute with the paperwork," and with that he left.

An orderly came in and asked if anyone wanted some tea. The group decided they would be on their way, but Vicky stayed with Cassie and they asked for tea. The registrar arrived and Cassie signed the forms authorising the operations.

The nurse who brought the tea invited them to stay in the room until the results of the x-rays were known, and behind her there stood a policeman.

"I wonder if I might have a word?" he asked, as if reluctant to intrude on their worries.

On their acceptance he took out his notebook and a large envelope. He took Vicky's statement and then turned to Cassie.

"I'm told that you are Mr Smith's next of kin," he said, taking some papers out of the envelope. She nodded.

"There were witnesses to the attack and some people took photos on their mobile phones. There is also CCTV coverage of part of the fight, er, I mean the assault. Would you look at these photo's and tell me if you recognise anyone?" He slid the photo's over to her side of the coffee table.

The first two were of the attack, but the masks on the faces of the assailants prevented her from recognising any of them. However, the third showed the three in full flight, and the mask had slipped from one face.

"No, I don't recognise him," she said after peering at the print, "but Viv might, she knew Ged before I met him."

Viv looked at the photo. Then she sat forward, "The man running, that's Lee Preston. He went to school with Ged. They didn't get on, but I cannot believe he would do that to Ged!"

"Do you know where he lives?" asked the officer, notebook at the ready.

"Well, he used to live with his mother," and she gave the address, "but I don't know whether he still does. I thought he was one of Ged's mates."

The officer, spoke into his phone, giving the name and address. "We need to get to him before he gets rid of his clothes, there'll be blood on them. Thank you Mz Percival," and he left.

"Cassie," said Vivienne, after a silence lasting about half an hour, "Ged was muttering about someone called Harry. Do you know who he meant? Perhaps we should try to contact him."

"No, I don't think so," Cassie said after wondering how much to tell her, "Actually, I don't know how he got Harry's name, Harry's the man I'm seeing at the moment."

"You mean seeing as in 'seeing'?" Viv asked.

"No, not that. At least not yet. We've been out a few times. He's very nice."

"Oh." 

Silence. Vivienne was obviously disappointed.

Then, "But you and Ged-"

"Finished," Cassie asserted. "We agreed it was over, and time to move on."

"From what Ged said, this 'agreement', this 'moving on' is a bit one-sided? He hasn't, and if you've moved on, Cassie, what the hell are you doing here now?"

"I'm his next of kin."

"You didn't know that when you arrived. Stop telling lies. Why are you here if he means nothing to you any more? You could have phoned to see how he was. Why didn't you?" Vivienne's tone was aggressive, pushy.

It made Cassie think. When she heard he'd been attacked she had upped and left Harry, without a backward glance and had come hell for leather to the hospital. Why had she done that?

"I don't know," she confessed. "I didn't think. I just acted."

"Well you'd better think now," Vivienne muttered. "This is no time for games, or for messing with Ged's head. You're not doing this to mess with his head are you, some sort of revenge?"

"No!" Cassie exclaimed loudly, then "No," more quietly. "I... Well, I..." and she stuttered to a standstill.

"Look," Vivienne said patiently. "Don't say any more. Just think it out. It looks like we'll be here for some time. I know why you've come running, so sooner or later you will too, unless you're really incredibly thick, and I know you're not. So just shut up and use the time to work everything out."

So she did, and an hour later the young doctor came back.

"We did the x-rays," he said, sitting down opposite them. "His hands are a mess, many bones broken and even crushed in the right hand, few in the left but a lot of bruising. It looks as if the boots used were metal studded. No other breakages, and his skull is intact. So we did an MR scan on his head and we're satisfied there is no haemorrhaging to the brain. There is tissue damage all over his body and contusions to his genitals as we thought, but most of that will heal in time. 

"Mr Watkinson is operating now on his hands. It's going to be a very long job: some hours."

"Will his hands heal?" asked Vivianne. "He's a musician; he plays keyboards and guitar." 

A shadow crossed the young doctor's face. 

"It really is too soon to say," he said, "but I don't think he'll ever get full use of the fingers of his right hand at least. The left may heal better, but as I said, some bones in the right are not only broken but partially crushed. The tendons and nerves are a mess as well, the tissue damage is serious."

"When can we see him?" asked Cassie, whose eyes were now brimming with tears.

"He'll be in surgery for at least another two hours if not longer. We will keep him sedated overnight and probably for much of tomorrow. There really is no point in staying here. Come back about four tomorrow afternoon, but I would phone first to check."

"Will they give me news?" asked Vivienne, "They wouldn't tell me anything when I asked earlier."

"If Mz Fenton asks them to keep you informed, they will. We are bound by the law, and can't give personal details to people who are not relatives without express permission."

So reluctantly, the two women left the hospital and went to their respective homes.

Cassie was restless once in bed. Everything was mixed up again. Vivienne's harsh words cut into her as she lay, tossing and turning in her bed. 

She remembered what she had been doing with Harry when she heard the news. She was holding his prick and he was mauling her breasts, and she knew they were on the way to bed from then on, her delaying resolution notwithstanding. She had abandoned all resistance and was urgent in her need for Harry's body.

Then the news, and she had pulled her hand out of his trousers, dressed and phoned a taxi, then left without a backward glance. She had found a wonderful man, and was making love when she dropped him, almost literally, and ran to Ged. Why? 

Eventually, a sense of resignation came over her sleepy thoughts. She knew exactly why, didn't she? She was not over Ged at all. As if it were a mist clearing, a number of things became crystal clear, and she got out of bed and made some tea. She sat in the kitchen and thought hard.

She had finished with Ged because her emotions were all wrung out and she could not face any more stress, but her relief then was touched with regret and a feeling of depression. 

Why had she become so exhausted? Obviously because she loved him, and their fractured relationship was too hurtful to bear any longer. That explained the feeling of unease with Harry. It was Ged she really needed.

Then there was Harry. Why had she fallen for him so fast? Because in a way he was just like Ged, deeply sensitive and artistic. Even his build was the same as Ged's! She felt sorry for Harry. He did not deserve what she would have to do.

She now knew with clear definition that no matter what might happen, she needed Ged. He had said he would wait for her to come back to him. A surge of hope passed through her. Perhaps there was a chance...

She was brought up short. Ged was very ill, badly injured. All her worries returned and also her distress at his suffering and at the possibility that he would never play an instrument again.

With it came an idea. She sighed, and with much greater calmness, went to bed and slept the night and half of the following morning away.

-- 

Chapter Forty One

When Ged at last awoke fully he had a vague recollection of things being done to him, and of light and dark, and of wondering where he was. He had no recollection of the attack on him. 

Now he realised he was in hospital, that his mouth was very dry, that he had a dreadful headache, that his hands were heavily bandaged and if anything hurt more than his head, that there was a drip attached to the crook of his elbow and that he had an uncomfortable feeling in his penis. He lay still and tried to remember what had happened to him.

He remembered the gig, he remembered leaving the club and walking down the street outside, and that was all. He looked around. He seemed to be in a room on his own. He idly thought that was odd, since hospitals normally housed patients in wards of about ten, if not more.

He became aware of feeling thirsty, and saw at his bedside a tumbler of water. He reached for it, and instantly realised that his right hand was in a cast and the left was heavily bandaged and strapped up so he would not be able to grasp it.

At that point the door opened and a pretty nurse poked her head round it.

"Oh," she smiled broadly. "You've finally joined the living again!"

She strode over to the bed and performed the usual routine nurses did. Blood pressure, temperature, the drip. Then she removed the catheter: as yet he had not spoken but there was an urgent intake of breath at the discomfort.

"I'm thirsty and I don't seem to be able to hold a glass." he croaked.

"Soon solved," the bright young thing chirped. She picked up the plastic tumbler, attached a lid and a straw, and put it to his lips. 

"There," she said.

Ged sucked up the water until the tumbler was empty, whereupon the nurse filled it and repeated the exercise. He drank half of it and then felt better.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked.

"Headache, and my hands hurt like hell," he replied, "and someone's been kicking me up the backside."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Was I hit by a car?" he asked. "I don't remember."

"They were saying you were attacked," she replied. "You're Ged Smith, the singer, aren't you?"

He nodded and regretted it instantly, wincing with the pain.

"I'll get you something for your headache after the doctor has seen you." she said, and left.

It was not long before the doctor arrived, another pretty woman somewhat older. 

"'Hello, Mr Smith," she said with a smile, "Let me check you out. She looked at his eyes and shone a light into them, then scanned his chart. Finally she looked at his notes.

"What happened to me?" he asked her.

"From what I heard you were attacked by three men. They gave you a good kicking. Your hands were damaged in the attack and they kicked your genitals. 

"You have bruising over your chest area, but no bones broken there. You've been head-butted, but no cranial damage, or brain damage. Your nose survived as well."

"My hands!" he said. "They're bandaged; are they OK?"

"Mr Watkinson operated on them last night, and he's very good. I'm afraid it's a matter of 'wait and see'. You're strapped up to prevent movement while the bones, tendons and nerves heal."

The doctor left after saying that Mr Watkinson might call in to check on Ged's progress. A nurse arrived.

"You've caused quite a stir. There's pressmen and even a TV crew asking about you. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you who we can admit. Those reporters have already been telling us they're personal friends of yours.




Music Man Pt. 06



"I've already got Mrs Copthorne down and Vivienne Percival. I got the names of the rest of your music group as well. Anyone else?"

"Cassie?" Ged interjected.

"Cassie?"

"Cassie Copthorne."

"She's down on your records as your next of kin," the nurse replied. "Is there a problem?"

"My next of kin?" then Ged realised. "I put her down before I went on tour. We've split up since then, and I don't want her coming round here. I don't want her as next of kin either."

"You don't want her? She was here for hours last night, very worried. She was the one who gave permission for your operation."

"She's playing games. I don't want her anywhere near me. She's messed up my life enough."

"Well, if that's what you want. What about Mz Percival?"

"She's welcome, as are the rest of the group. Oh, perhaps Cheryl Foster and her husband Brian. And Gus Mettleson - he's my manager."

The nurse wrote the names down.

"If anyone else turns up, please ask me first," Ged was flustered, "and I need to piss."

"OK," she said and walked out of the room, returning with a bottle. She lifted the sheet off him and placed the bottle so his penis was inside the angled spout. She held it there while he urinated and then got a tissue and wiped him.

"I'll be back," she said, taking the bottle with her. She returned with some pain killers and another tumbler of water, which she duly administered.

"Anything else I can get you?" she asked. "I know it's mid-afternoon, but breakfast?"

Ged did not feel hungry, but thought he ought to eat. He nodded.

An orderly arrived and fed him cereal and toast, and of course tea.

After he had gone, Ged had time to take stock of his position. Physically he seemed to have mobility, but his genitals hurt and felt swollen. 

He looked at his hands. The right hand was completely plastered, and though he tried, he could not move any part of it beyond the wrist. The left was tightly strapped up but the index finger beyond the first knuckle and the thumb were visible, and tentatively he moved them. There was immediate pain from the other fingers on that hand.

It was clear to him that he would need someone to help him with even the most elementary tasks. He cast about in his mind: who could or would be able to help him? How long for?

It had just begun to impinge upon his consciousness that the damage to his hands might be catastrophic for his musical life, when another doctor arrived.

He introduced himself as Mr James Tweedale, the surgical orthopaedic registrar assisting Mr Watkinson. He did the usual perusal of his chart and pronounced his recovery from the surgery a success.

"Any questions?" he asked.

"What's the damage to my hands, Doc? Will they heal? Will I be able to play again?"

"Oh," Mr Tweedale said. "You're a musician, aren't you?" 

His face clouded. "I won't sugar the pill, Mr Smith. Someone wanted to destroy your hands. It was quite deliberately done. Your right hand suffered worse, there was a lot of bone and tendon damage, some bones were crushed. Mr Watkinson did a superb job piecing it all together again. Your left hand is less damaged, some fractures. 

"I assisted in the operation; we were at it for five hours which is why I look like shit this afternoon, so I can tell you honestly that your left hand should recover. 

"Your right is a different matter. There's no way of knowing how much use you'll get back. You will get some use back, but there's little chance of full use. Sorry. We did what we could."

Ged sank back onto the pillows, defeated. How could he go on without playing his music? He felt bleak.

"That's me finished then," he said disconsolately.

"Don't cross bridges Mr Smith - Ged," said the doctor. "As I said, we don't know how well you'll heal. With therapy who knows? Wait and see," with that he left.

If Ged had wanted to wallow in self-pity, he would have been disappointed, for through the door came Vivienne.

"Ged!" she said in greeting. "They told us to come back at four, but we rang and they said you were awake. How do you feel?"

"Rotten!" he muttered. "I've just been told I may never play again."

"Don't lose hope, Ged," she tried to reassure him. "We asked the doctor and he said it's impossible to tell. Don't give up just yet. Anyway what all this nonsense about you refusing to see Cassie? She's outside and very upset."

"Oh big deal!" Ged mocked. "She comes to mess with my head, and wonders why I don't want to see her."

"Come on Ged," she reprimanded him. "You're better than that."

"Look Viv, she's fucking some guy called Harry now. I don't want her near me. It breaks me up she's found someone so quickly, and I don't need her rubbing it in that she's with someone else. She doesn't care about me, or she'd have given us a chance. I begged her, Viv, and she turned me down. She wanted someone else, let her go with him and leave me alone."

He closed his eyes, feeling tired out with his outburst, but Viv was not finished with him.

"God, you're so stupid, Ged," she reproved him. "Listen to me, this is the truth. She has not had sex with Harry. Cheryl told me she discussed it with her, and decided to give it a long time before going that far. 

"She was with Harry last night, they had had a meal at his place and they were watching the Ten O'clock News. Not very romantic eh? Your name alerted her and she heard something had happened to you. She left him flat and rushed here. She loves you, you idiot."

"She came because I stupidly didn't remove her as next of kin."

"No she didn't! She only found out she was next of kin when she got here. You do realise that if she hadn't authorised the operation on your hands they would have had to wait until your mother got here? How long would that take, eh? Any healing of your hands is down to her taking that decision. She waited and waited for news; she was distraught, Ged, understand? Distraught!

"Now she's outside and you won't see her. She's in pieces Ged, what sort of a man are you?"

He was silent.

She started again. "Tell me Ged, when she finished with you in that pub, what did you say? I'll tell you what you said, you moron, because everyone knows what you said - you told Marie. 

"You said you would wait for her to come back to you. Well, she has come back, and you won't see her. Which is the lie, Ged, what you said in the pub or what you're doing now?"

"Lie?" It had not occurred to him.

"OK," he said, "Has she come back to me, or is she just worried about me?"

"I had a long talk with her and she thought things through last night. You will have to ask her, but you won't ask her will you? You're too pig headed."

"All right, all right!" he said petulantly with resignation. "Tell the nurses I will see her. She can come."

Viv grinned. "At last, some sense!" she said with relief. "I'll do that now."

She left, and Ged was left to wonder and to think. Why had she left this Harry and run to him? She was so adamant that it was over. She had said she loved him and that was why it had to finish. Did she love him? Really? She was so confusing. She had hurt him so much by finishing with him, but now she had come running. Why?

Well, he thought, perhaps I'll find out, though somehow I doubt it.

He was interrupted in his thoughts. Cassie came into the room. 

Once again he was struck with her beautiful face, though her eyes were red, and her cheeks showed there had been many tears. Once again he had conflicting feelings about her. One part of him wanted her, and the other feeling was resentment that she had dumped him at the pub, but mainly because she did not smile when she saw him.

She saw his face cloud over, and he saw her jaw set in that way of hers. She came up to the bed and stood, though there was a chair. She looked at him and he thought her look was cold. She studied his hands then looked up at his face.

"It was mean and petty of you to stop me from coming to see you," she said, though without anger, more sadness really. "Making me stand outside the hospital with the reporters and the fans. Some of the reporters recognised me. It was embarrassing and humiliating, and it will make the press tomorrow. I hope you're satisfied with your little temper tantrum."

Ged wanted to apologise but the words that came out were different.

"You've moved on," he said showing irritation at her opening speech. "You're over me now, and it didn't take you long, did it? Shows your real feelings for me. I hope 'Harry' is up to your exacting standards."

She was angry at that. "You really are a self-pitying wimp, aren't you?" she snapped. She launched into a singsong parody of Ged, "Oh, poor little me, left in the lurch by that unfeeling bitch! 

"Shows you up for a liar - you said you would wait for me to come back. Well, I'm here, I'm back, and you're just as antagonistic to me as you have been since you got back from that damned tour. 

"Perhaps it was a mistake to come running when I heard you were injured. How much longer are you going to keep this up, Ged? You said you were over it in the pub, but it seems you aren't."

It was unexpected, this aggressive attitude on her part. What did she say? She'd come back?"

"I'm sorry, Cassie," he said, putting on an air of puzzlement, "Did you say what I thought you said?"

"What's that?"

"I said in the pub that I was waiting for you, and now you've come back?"

Her face softened; he remembered she could never hold on to anger for long when they were together.

"You don't understand, do you?" she said. "When we met in the pub and I forced our break-up, I couldn't see any future for us. You had been so inconsistent and so hurtful to me. You were wrapped up in your own self-pity. 

"I was living in a world of pain, anguish and guilt over what I'd done. I felt revulsion that I had allowed that toe-rag into my bed, grief that I had been so deceived. You know why. But even though you knew why I acted as I did, you still rejected me over and over again.

"You'd seem to soften and then we were back to your self-pitying judgement of me. I was suffering too, and you, the one who could always empathise with others, had no interest in my feelings.

"I couldn't take it any more, Ged. I was at the end of my rope. Then when I met you to finish it, you turned full circle yet again and were begging me to come back. Can't you see how hurtful that was? To push me away so far and then want to reverse everything at the last minute? 

"All I could see was a repeat of the previous weeks, I would weaken and then we'd be back to you ignoring me, belittling me, rejecting me all over again. For my own sanity, I wanted you to move on without me, and leave me to try to make a life for myself without all that pain. 

"It was so unfair of you to say you would never go with another woman. It was blackmail and I hated it. D'you know, that's what finally decided me I was doing the right thing? I felt you were playing with me. I began to live as a single woman again, and d'you know? It wasn't that bad. Not exactly good either, but not bad.

"Harry came along. We work together. Some of the men had been hitting on me because they'd seen it on the news that I was divorcing Zak. Harry didn't. I invited him. He was kind and gentle and thoughtful. He's handsome and loves music and literature. We were getting close rather too quickly and I longed for his affection and love.

"Cheryl told me I should take it very slowly. I was already thinking that Harry would be 'the one' for me after you. I had really been able to move on. I was over you. 

"Well, I wasn't over you at all, was I?

"I was with Harry last night, and we were watching the news. When I saw and heard you were in trouble, I didn't look back, I didn't think, I ran, and it's as well that I did, for I didn't know you had named me as next of kin, and I was able to give permission for your operation. 

"So there it is. I'm not as totally over you as I thought I was after all, though I'm not pining away for you either. I know now I can go on without you."

She stopped talking and sat down. Ged was stunned. The last thing he had expected was a diatribe of criticism and the display of her own resentment at his self-absorption and lack of appreciation of her own suffering. 

He had realised before that his own hurt had clouded his concern for her. Now, was there a glimmer of hope? She said she had come back, though he wondered whether she still loved him as she had before. She seemed different, more distant. He knew he had to say something and quickly.

"I'm sorry," he said. "That's all I can say: I'm sorry. Really, it wasn't revenge or resentment that made me block you this morning. About the pub, when I'd finally come round to seeing how stupid I'd been and wanted to try again, it destroyed me when you finished with me. I wanted you so desperately by then. 

"I've been half alive ever since. So this morning I was afraid of the pain of seeing you again and knowing you were now with someone else. I felt defeated. I'm in a bad way as you can see," he raised his hands off the bed briefly as illustration, "and I hadn't the strength to face you after your rejection of all my pleading last time. Please believe me on that. Forgive me?"

She did not respond directly, or say she forgave him. Her face did soften, but she seemed off on another tack.

"Ged," she said thoughtfully, "Let me put it this way, and let me make you an offer. To be realistic, I honestly don't know whether we can make it together any more, or whether there has been too much hurt on both sides - too much damage. I thought that in the pub and I still think it may be true now.

"I've started dating Harry and though we've not been to bed together, we're getting pretty close to it. He's very good for me and very caring. 

"On the other hand, it's obvious to me that I'm not over you, and I'm not sure I'm happy about that. On the other hand, you keep telling me you're not over me either, but I don't think all your anger and resentment is over yet. That puts me in a dilemma." 

His spirits sank at that. At that point she seemed to go off in yet another direction.

"Have you got anything sorted for when you go home?" she asked.

"No," he said. "It's all happened so quickly."

"I'm offering to come home with you and be your hands."

It came out of the blue, totally unexpected. He blinked as if struck.

"Cassie, I can't ask you to do that! Some of what you'd have to do isn't that pleasant, you know."

"I've thought of that. I went home last night and thought the whole thing through. I was awake half the night. If I come and do that for you, live in the house, help you day and night, we'll have a chance to see if we can make it together. 

"It'll be at least six weeks before your hands will be free, and even then you will need time and a lot of hard physio to get the movement back. I know some of what I'd do would be very intimate, but that's what I think we need. 

"Look, we have been intimate with each other in the past. I know your body and you know mine. Won't you feel more at ease with me than with anyone else? And I can help you with the music."

"The music? How?"

"You use a composing programme on your computer. I can type what you want typing. I can play the tunes on the piano or keyboard."

"How could you do that?"

"You forget, I got to grade eight piano. I still play. I used to play when you were out of the flat!"

"But I'd need you all day everyday. What about your job?"

"I'd have to negotiate that, but most of what I do at work can be done at home. I can fit some work round you during the day, or after you've gone to bed."

"What if your publishers won't play ball?"

"I'll resign."

"You'll resign? You'd do that for me?" 

She misunderstood the tone of his voice for disbelief when he was simply amazed.

"Look Ged, you keep saying you want me back. You know I have reservations about it working, bit it doesn't mean I don't want it to work; I do, very badly. I'm willing to give up my job to try to make it work. It's that important to me." 

Then as if to herself, "You're that important to me."

"Bloody Hell!" This was all so sudden, he was finding it difficult to cope.

"So, will you have me as your hands?" She was smiling now, and the smile lit up her face.

"Cassie, of course I will. It's what I've dreamt of. I'd love you to come home with me and live together-"

"Hold on, boy!" she interrupted with a broader smile. "Let's be clear. I help you out with all your physical needs, but it stops short of sex. 

"I'll keep house, do the shopping, washing, washing up, feed you, wash you, put you on the potty, wipe your bum, dress you, all that, but beyond that, we need to work out if we have a future and be bloody sure of it before going down that road."

She had a really cocky look on her face, and he loved it. Then he had another thought.

"What about Harry?" he asked meaningfully.

"If I know Harry, he'll wait until I make up my mind. I might see him from time to time, but platonically."

The comment about seeing Harry was too much for Ged. He had naïvely thought Cassie would be his once again after they were together, but she was far from convinced of success. Was she doing this out of guilt? Was that all it was, not love but guilt?

He realised with a sinking feeling that they would never again be the same couple they had been. They really would have to build something completely new, and he was not sure any longer that she seriously wanted to do that. It gave him a new awareness of the damage that had been done to her, but at the same time he could not bear her going off to spend romantic time with someone else.

His expression gave him away.

"What's the matter Ged? You're not happy. What's up?"

"It's nothing."

"Yes it is," she insisted. "If you want any chance of this working out, you have to be honest with me."

"What you've just said sums it up. 'If I want any chance of it working out.' 'Harry will wait until I make up my mind.' 

"I'm not running after you Cassie, you're not the only one who hasn't made up his mind you know. Neither of us is sure of where this will go.

"So what will you have to do to have any chance of this working out? It sounds very one sided to me. Yes I know you'll look after me, but a nurse would do that."

She looked puzzled, and she was. What was he getting at? 

"OK, I'll say it," he clarified. "If you want any chance of this working out you can't go off seeing other men, even platonically. It makes me think you are not as committed to trying to make this work as I am. If you're not fully committed, I'll get an agency nurse in, I can afford it."

Cassie in her turn was disconcerted. She had not realised that she had been enjoying calling the shots, assuming that Ged would do anything to get her back, or at least testing to see how committed he was. 

She really did want him, even desire him, even in her uncertainty about him, and she had seen that being his hands and being so intimate with him while holding herself off him sexually was a way of having him back while testing his desire for her. She had given the game away.

"Oh," she said. "You don't trust me with Harry."

"It's not a matter of trust. Of course I'd trust you. What it shows is a lack of commitment to me and our getting back together. You're hedging your bets. You have reservations. Fine, I get that. 

"Look, we've had a hard time and we've hurt each other badly. It's not going to be easy, but that's why it's all the more necessary to be fully committed to making it work, and from what you're saying, I wonder whether you're committed enough, that's all."

"I am, you know," she said quietly. "I really am."




Music Man Pt. 06



Then she seemed to stiffen. "OK, I'll finish with Harry. In any case, that relationship is in its very early stages." 

Her own comment surprised her, even though she'd made it. She had a flash memory of her hand on Harry's cock, and his on her tits.

Ged sighed with relief. "Thank you!" he said. 

She saw his relief, and now knew how much he wanted this to work. It gave her some hope, but there was also a fear that she would commit to him and be let down again. She knew she needed to be brave. 

She stood and bending over him, kissed him on the lips. A gentle loving kiss. She wanted to show him how committed she was.

"When will you be able to leave?" she asked with a smile. For him it was quite a provocative smile. His hopes rose.

-- 

Chapter Forty Two

On Saturday morning Furtive Glance met for practice. 

"Where's Lee?" asked Joshua.

"No idea," said Amos. " Zak? Do you know?"

"Not seen him," said Zak with obvious lack of interest.

None of the band had seen the news the night before. They never paid much attention to the news, and they had all been out getting very drunk - again.

-- 

On Sunday morning, the pretty nurse came in with a bowl of water a towel and a razor.

"You need tidying up for your girlfriend," she said breezily. "Time for a shave."

"Er..." Ged was not sure about being shaved.

"I have done this before," she said. "Come on, you'll feel better."

She lathered him up and then shaved him very efficiently. As she bent close to reach under his chin, he felt her hot breath and the swell of her breast against his side. It had the inevitable result, and a noticeable tent appeared in the bedclothes. He knew she saw it but was grateful when she affected to ignore it.

On Sunday afternoon his mother arrived, saw his bandaged hands and looked grim. However, she said nothing but asked him how he was coping with his new situation. She left after kissing him and patting his cheek as she used to do when he was a small child. The meaning of the gesture was not lost on him: he was still her little boy and any hurt to him hurt her as well. 

She assured him she would come each day, against his protestations that it was a long way. She just gave him a look. She was his mother and he was her world.

On Sunday evening Cassie returned. Ged was out of bed and was looking a little more cheerful and a lot cleaner.

"The police were here this afternoon," he said before she could even say 'Hi!'. "They've arrested Lee Preston. Someone saw him running away from the scene."

"I know," she said. "Viv identified him from someone's mobile phone picture. His mask slipped."

"Well they've got a heap of his clothing for analysis," he went on. "What I don't understand is what Lee had against me. Yes, I had his girlfriend at school, but it's years ago. I remember he took up keyboard to get her interested in him again. We were young then Cassie, teenagers. Anyway, he's up before the Magistrates on Monday."

"Did he admit it?" 

"They said not, but it's early days. Once the forensic evidence is in he may change his tune."

"Tune. A keyboard player you say?" said Cassie with a quizzical look and half a smile.

They both laughed at the connection which he had not noticed. It reminded each of them of their lives before the tour, always the playing on words.

"Anything on the other assailants?" she asked.

"Apparently he's not talking," Ged said with a resigned air. "He said he wouldn't grass up his mates."

Cassie had brought along a book of crosswords. Ged remembered how they used to puzzle out the cryptic clues together. It seemed so long ago. Cassie pulled up the bedside table and they spent a happy hour doing a crossword. It was a warm feeling for both of them, and they smiled often at each other. Again it was like old times.

"You need to call the nurse," Ged said. "I need to piss."

Cassie looked round and saw a bed bottle with a paper over it. "I can do that," she said, "After all..." she left the rest unsaid, but Ged took her meaning: she had met his penis many times before!

She brought the bed bottle over and undid his pyjamas, carefully fishing his penis out and putting the bottle to it. 

"Off you go," she said, and he let fly. 

She saw the bruising and let out a gasp of distress.

"Impressive hey?" Ged laughed. "My cock never used to impress you that much!"

"It's the bruising," she said. "They were vicious."

"Yep!" he replied, and she dabbed him and took the bottle back to the side table.

They smiled at each other. 

"Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome, and if you must know, I was always impressed by your cock! It's nice to make his acquaintance again!" She giggled then and flushed a little.

Ged felt a sudden warmth towards her and smiled. This was how he remembered them.

On Monday Cassie went into work as usual, where she got an appointment with the Human Resources manager, and discussed what had transpired. She asked about working from home. 

The manager told her that the only way the publishing house could accept her request was if she were to resign and become free-lance. The woman made a phone call as Cassie sat waiting, and after a brief discussion with the general manager, promised plenty of work as and when she could handle it, adding that they appreciated the quality of her work.

So she resigned with a promise in writing of work from the company.

Before leaving the building she invited Harry for lunch and told him the whole story explaining her decision to help Ged and hopefully reconcile with him. Harry, being the man he was, understood. As he said, it was no big deal; they had only been seeing each other for a few weeks. Neither of them believed what he said but neither said so. They kissed good bye as lovers do.

When she arrived at the hospital, Ged was smiling.

"Look!" he said proudly, waggling the thumb and index finger of his left hand. "They cut some of the strapping away."

He showed how he could, using the finger and thumb of his left hand and the immobile right to support it, pick up a mug and drink from it.

"I've been practising all day," he said gaily.

"That's brilliant!" she agreed, and her face shone. He felt that warmth again.

"And now I've got you to go home to, they reckon I might be able to leave here in a couple of days. They want to be sure about the concussion and check on the job they did on my hands."

"Oh, that's great!" she agreed. "Can you give me a key to the house and I'll get it ready for you."

"In my locker," he said. "I'm really looking forward to having you at home. The housekeeper should have kept the place running."

"I'd still like to get the lie of the land," she said, smiling.

"They remanded Lee on bail," he said, his face clouding. "The police called in to tell me. They reckon the DNA and photo evidence will put him at the scene. There's no news on the other two."

Each of them had the same idea as to who one of the other attackers might be, but neither said what was in their mind. Cassie thought Ged might think she was trying to shift blame away from herself, and Ged thought Cassie might think that he was persecuting the man who had ruined things for him. They were both thinking of Zak, and of course they were right.

Cassie broke the silence that had fallen. 

"Zak hasn't replied to the court," she said. "He should have done it within the week. Now the court has to send a bailiff and serve him. Then another week. I thought he'd cut up rough and he has."

"If he doesn't reply, what then?" asked Ged.

"Graham says that the divorce goes ahead anyway. I'm not asking for anything financial from him, so he can't hold things up over money."

Ged thought she should get something, but said nothing. Cassie realised that Zak had no money anyway, and so asking for it would be pointless. If Graham's suit was successful, Zak wouldn't even have the house.

--

On Tuesday the band met for evening practice. 

Once again Lee was missing, and by this time the group knew why. There had been some discussion between Joshua and Peter over the weekend but they had not extended this to Amos who they knew was Zak's mate. None of the band had contacted Lee.

Zak arrived with his usual morose expression.

"The bitch is trying to divorce me," he said without a greeting.

"What d'you expect?" Joshua said. "After what you did to Ged on the tour and tricked her into marrying you?"

"He stole Cassie from me," Zak said moodily. "She got back with me fast enough. She always fancied me."

Amos looked angry. Zak was persisting in his lie, but Amos said nothing. Peter noticed.

"Come on, Zak," Peter intervened. "She'd finished with you long before Ged came on the scene. You know that."

"But she came back to me," Zak said stubbornly. "I know she still wanted me when she was with him. She liked his stuck up ways. She thought he was upmarket. I was stupid about the wedding but she wanted me. We were happy."

"You heard about Ged? He's been beaten up!" Joshua said. 

"Serves the bastard right; teach him to steal other blokes' wives," Zak growled. "They should have killed the fucker."

"Your mate Lee did it. Seen him?" Joshua prodded.

"Silly bugger lost his mask running away," Zak said. "Some cunt got a photo of him. He's out on bail. Won't be in tonight."

"Your dear little wife has been at the hospital every day," Peter said with a hint of mockery. "Ged getting beat up seems to have brought them back together. You know they separated? Now they're back together; bad move, getting him beaten up."

"He got what he deserved. He won't be fucking around with that keyboard any more."

"What?" exclaimed Joshua.

"Let's say his hands are demic now, someone's boots trod on them."

The band were silent at that. It was a step too far. As musicians they felt that this was an atrocity. Joshua recovered first. They had all deduced that Zak was behind Ged's attack.

"You are a real fucking bastard Zak," he snarled. "That bloke's well gifted, and it's done you no good, has it? She's still divorcing you, and I'll bet she's all over him now, full of compassion. You are such a fucking fool, you loser!"

Zak looked uncertain for a moment, then smiled evilly. "She won't be getting any divorce. I'm not answering them court letters. Some bloke from the court came and gave me the forms again. I won't answer that either. Stupid cow'll be stuck, the bitch."

"Zak, you're one stupid motherfucker," said Peter. "If you don't answer, it'll go ahead without you. Did nobody tell you that?"

"It can't," said Zak obstinately. "That lawyer of hers said same as you; he was bluffing. They have to hear both sides."

"Not if you don't answer," said Peter. "My Mum and Dad went through this in their divorce. If you want any say, you have to answer."

"Well I'll say I don't want the divorce."

"You need a lawyer for that, and it'll cost. And you'll lose. Then you pay her costs as well. Thousands, Zak. I know, I watched it happen at home. Mum contested it and nearly lost the house. Get it through your thick skull, you can't win. If she wants a divorce she'll get it. In the end you'll lose a wad of cash."

"Well I'll fight her about the money."

"What's she asking for?"

Zak was silent for a moment. "She's not asked for nowt, but she gets more than me. We haven't had that many gigs and I'm skint. I'll get half her cash."

Peter shook his head. "You want half, oh yeah, you'll get it OK. What've you got? A house Zak. She'll get half the value of the house, once the mortgage is paid off. You want to lose the house? Go ahead and ask that everything is split half and half. Quit while you're ahead, Zak, and let her go. She's going anyway."

That was the end of the discussion, and the band went through their numbers, but the spirit had gone out of it, and they knew it. They disbanded early and went their separate ways. If they got drunk that night, each did it alone.

Amos was seething with anger at Zak. He had grown away from Zak who had been less and less friendly as he became more angry and morose. Now Zak had in so many words admitted to something so heinous that Amos knew he had to do something. 

Cassie was a good woman, he thought, and he was still feeling guilty about the part he had played in her unhappiness. Come to that, Ged was a good bloke. He had done nothing to Zak, and Zak had crippled him in the worst way. Amos was in no doubt it was Zak who had stamped on Ged's hands; that finished him as Zak's mate.

He got out his phone and keyed in a number.

"Is that the police? No, no names, I know who beat up that bloke Friday."

-- 

Chapter Forty Three

On Wednesday Cassie stood before the front door of Ged's house and felt excitement and a tingling of fear as if she were trespassing. It turned into puzzlement and distress when, as she opened the front door she heard a woman humming. Karin! 

She had no time to react, for as she entered the hall, it was not Karin but a middle-aged woman who emerged from a room to the rear of the property.

The woman stopped in her tracks and stopped her humming, and regarded the intruder. She spoke.

"You're Cassie, isn't it?" she said, and it was not really a question at all. "You're the pretty young lass he's been moping and pining for all these months. Isn't it dreadful what those men did to Ged? Is he coming home soon? And how will he manage?" 

All said with a smile, and a lilt of the Welsh, then a frown and a questioning look. "Oh, look you, you don't know me at all do you, Cariad? I'm Gwen; I'm his part-time housekeeper." Gwen laughed, "Fancy me not telling you who I was, I could have been anyone eh?"

It all came out in one long sentence, in a tuneful Welsh accent, and when she stopped she took a long breath and laughed again. 

"That's me, that is," she said. "Can't stop talking can I?"

Cassie smiled, uncertain as to whether to answer all the questions or not. She decided to be selective.

"Hello," she said by way of a start, walking towards the woman and extended her hand. They shook.

"Yes, I'm Cassie," she said. "He's doing all right considering, but with his hands being bandaged, he'll need a helper. I've volunteered, so I'll be moving in to look after him. He might be allowed out this week. I came to get the lie of the land, so to speak."

"Very wise my lover," Gwen said. "Shall I show you round, and then you'll want to do your own exploring, especially the kitchen, eh?"

-- 

Ged watched the evening news on the room's lounge TV, and was surprised to see that Zak had been arrested in connection with the assault. 

Behind the reporter who was standing outside Zak's house, one could see the forensic team in their coveralls bringing out clothing and shoes in bags. Someone must have shopped him and Ged wondered who it was.

Cassie came to see him that evening full of admiration for his house and for his housekeeper, whom she called 'a sweetie'. She brought clothes and underwear for him, and his eyes lit up; it made his departure seem all the nearer.

He told her about Zak's arrest and she looked thoughtful. They discussed whether Lee had confessed, or if someone else had told the police of Zak's involvement, but obviously came to no conclusion. 

Then it was time for another crossword. Cassie felt happier having done something constructive, and Ged felt gratitude for her selfless devotion to him in coming home to look after him. They both noticed how peaceful they were together as they puzzled over the clues. Neither spoke of it.

After she had gone, he phoned his mother and told her he was going home the next day and that Cassie was going with him. She did not comment on Cassie but hoped he felt a lot better.

Thursday!

The great day arrived. Cassie got the call mid-morning to collect Ged who would be ready early afternoon. He was dressed and sitting in his chair when she arrived on the ward. 

He had had the final visit from the specialist and his assistant, and had been dressed by the same pretty nurse who had been the first he had seen when he awoke from his sedation. He had again felt that frisson of excitement as she stripped him and then began to pull up his underpants.

"The swelling has gone down well," she observed of his testicles. "The bruising around them will take a little longer. Any pain?" she asked, lightly fondling his balls, the better to inspect them.

"Not really," he replied, trying to prevent his penis from rising in admiration of her and her attention to it, and partially failing. She made no comment, as she pulled his underpants the rest of the way, for which he was grateful. 

The rest of his dressing went without mishap, an orderly had arrived to pack his bag, and he had settled to wait for Cassie. The charge nurse had brought his medication and ensured he knew what pills to take and when. She gave him his outpatients' appointment card, and told him there would be physiotherapy appointments when his hands were liberated from the strapping and plaster.

With all the paperwork finished, the nurse phoned Cassie to come for him. It was nearly midday.

When Cassie arrived he stood and she came to him, put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him softly. She looked into his eyes, and he thought he could see happiness there, and felt a surge of happiness in return. 

"Ready?" she asked, unnecessarily.

"Can't wait to get home," he said.

Outside the hospital, the phalanx of reporters and TV crews had gone, Ged's attack being a one day wonder. There were two reporters and a photographer, who asked the usual inane questions. 

Was he pleased to be going home? He was. Was Mrs Copthorne going with him? She was. Were they now an item? No, she was helping him. Was she pleased that her husband had been arrested for attacking Ged? No she wasn't. The photographer took a couple of pictures and they were allowed to escape to her car. There would be some small coverage in the next day's papers, and perhaps a mention in the local TV news.

She inserted him into her car, stowed his bags and then drove him home. Little was said on the journey but Cassie could see him looking about him, drinking in the details of his surroundings. Even though it had only been a few days that he had been in hospital, it seemed like a lifetime and everything felt new to him.

"I'm glad to be back," he said at length, "and so happy you're coming home with me."

Cassie smiled at that, her eyes on the road. 

"I'm glad too," she said, and both knew she wanted to say more but dare not. Neither did Ged want to fill her silence. Both were in a sense shy, fearful of saying the wrong thing. They had both been through such unhappiness, this was a chance neither wished to jeopardise. 

If Ged feared Cassie was going to mother him, it did not take long before such fears were laid to rest. She did not urge him to sit down while she got him a drink; she did not flutter about, or ask him if he was comfortable, did he need anything? 

Instead she took his bags up to his room and let him roam the ground floor while she unpacked. When she came down with his dirty washing, he was standing in the living room gazing out at the garden. 

She put the washing in the machine and started it, then came up behind him and gently hugged him to her, conscious of his bruising.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she said peacefully. Her hand came up to stroke his face and he put his own bandaged hand over hers.

It seemed to be as much as she dared to do, for immediately she was all business.

"I need to do some shopping. Gwen's got some basics in, but we need meals for the weekend and next week. Is there anything you want while I'm out?"

Ged had checked with the charge nurse about the compatibility of his medication with alcohol. He was assured his painkillers were mild now.




Music Man Pt. 06



"Beer, wine, whisky and whatever you're having." He said with a grin, expecting a rejoinder, but there was none. Then it struck him that she had no access to his current account or his credit cards.

"Take my debit card," he said. "The pin is 1409."

"My birthday," she said, smiling at him. He nodded but said no more. 

"On second thoughts, I could come with you," he said. "It would be good to get out."

"OK," she said. 

He could not decide whether to be relieved she was letting him please himself, or disappointed she was not more concerned with his health. She put him right.

"Only I expect you to keep up, and we go back to the car if you feel tired. I don't need heroics."

She grinned at him, enjoying her dominant attitude.

"Yes, Mum," he said, singsong, evincing a sigh of exasperation from her. Once again they smiled at each other. There had been a lot of smiling, and it warmed them both.

What is often a chore to be got through, for them that day shopping was an adventure. They chatted on the journey to the supermarket, they chatted as Cassie wheeled the large trolley up and down the isles, selecting staples, fresh meat, fish, vegetables and fruit. 

Both remembered independently the times they would do the weekly supermarket shop when they lived in the flat, and felt good about doing it again.

Ged felt his handicap in the enterprise, reduced to gesturing (he couldn't even point properly) to stuff they needed which had escaped Cassie's written list. It came to his mind that apart from when he had entertained Karin, he had lived largely on ready meals, and takeaways delivered to the door. 

He was reminded of how depressed he had been, for he loved to cook but had felt no inclination to do so while alone. He also remembered that Cassie was a really good cook, and began looking forward to the meals she would prepare. He felt a moment of frustration that he would not be able to cook for weeks to come.

Cassie was revelling in her role as provider and carer, and looked forward to giving Ged the meals he loved the best. For her too, the process of hunting for all the provisions they would need elated her. 

She realised she had not been as happy as she was at that moment since she was duped into distrusting Ged and the disaster that followed. Even with Harry she had not felt so liberated as they trundled up and down the aisles, not that she had ever shopped with Harry.

The feelings of both were fleeting in the hectic business of filling the trolley to the brim. Cassie steered them eventually to the wines and spirits section and invited him to choose a whisky, and beer, after which she picked out some wines. 

Ged wondered about stopping at a cafe for afternoon tea until Cassie pointed out they had frozen food to get into the freezer, so they were soon on their way back to the house. Ged was returning 'home', while Cassie, who had kept her flat, thought 'Ged's house'.

On the journey, she cast a brief glance at his face and noticed he looked tired and drawn. Perhaps the outing had been too much for him so soon after coming home. She said nothing at that point, but resolved to comment when they were back at the house.

As they entered the house, Ged turned to her.

"Cassie, I'm sorry, I need the loo."

"OK," she said with a smile. Come on!" and she preceded him to the ground floor toilet.

The room was large, and held a short bath and roomy shower, as well as the WC. She turned to face him. 

"Stand or sit?" she asked with another smile.

"Stand," he said, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"OK," she said, and reaching forward, unzipped his chinos, delved inside, found the gap in his boxers, and pulled out his penis. He moved to the bowl and stood. 

"You want me to hold him?" she asked. He nodded. She stood behind him, slightly to one side, so she could see where she was aiming, and held him. He took a while to overcome the strange sensation of someone else holding him in place, before the urine made its reluctant way to freedom. 

Once started there was no stopping it and the stream was powerful and long lasting. Eventually it subsided, dribbled and on Ged contracting his muscles gave a last couple of spurts and was done. She pulled on it a couple of times to drain the last drops, then took a sheet of loo roll and dabbed him dry, putting him away and zipping him up.

"Thanks," he said meekly.

"Don't worry," she said. "You'll soon get used to it. I love your cock almost as much as you do, perhaps more. I'll look after him!"

He laughed and felt better - a buzz of elation. She was so good at making him feel at ease.

"I think," he said, "that as soon as people know I'm home, they'll be ringing. I'd like peace and quiet over the weekend. Could you unplug the phone and switch my mobile off?"

She nodded and did as he asked. After she had stowed the shopping, she noticed he was beginning to look a little haggard.

"You look tired," she said, no more. The decisions were to be his.

He appreciated that she did not urge him to go to bed, but he did feel weary.

"Yes," he said. "I think I'll go and lie down."

"Want to undress?"

"Yes. I hate sleeping in my clothes."

She preceded him up the stairs, allowing him to gaze on her perfectly rounded rear as it swayed before him. He felt a stirring, and was relieved there was no pain associated with the incipient erection.

Once in the bedroom, she undressed him, starting with his shoes and socks, pulling his tee shirt over his head, and dropping his chinos and boxers,. She noticed he was at half-mast and smiled to herself, which he noticed and felt unaccountably shy. She then pulled back the bedclothes, and stood by while he lay down, before pulling the duvet over him. 

She pulled his mobile out of his trousers, turned it on and checked his speed dial for her number, and finding it absent, entered it under number nine, and left it by him on the bedside cupboard. Then she switched it off again.

"Use that free finger of yours to turn it on, then press nine," she said. "It will call my mobile and I'll come to you, OK?"

He smiled at her resourcefulness, and nodded.

"Clever idea," he said. "That doesn't surprise me though."

She smiled self-consciously, bent over him and kissed him gently on his lips. 

"Sleep well," she said, stroking his forehead, and left the room, closing the door to after her.

His lips tingled, but not for long: he fell asleep immediately, and did not wake for three hours.

He awoke to the most wonderful aroma, knew that Cassie was cooking vegetable curry and also knew there'd be saffron brown rice to go with it, along with onions and mango chutney.

He got out of bed, and walked to the stairs where he called down to her.

"Are you in the middle of cooking?" he asked. "I'll wait."

"No it's safely in the oven. You want to get dressed?"

He nodded. She dressed him. They ate, she feeding both of them as and when he needed it, and asking him each time which part of the dish he wanted. Ged told her how wonderful it was to eat non-hospital food, and what a wonderful cook she was. 

She cleared away while he sat in the living room, where he discovered he could work the TV remote with his index finger.

When she emerged from the kitchen, she made him leave the news on the TV and walk round the garden, pointing out the flowers and naming most of them, to his surprise. She took his arm and kept close all the time. He felt the swell of her breast and loved it.

They spent the evening watching a film on the TV, after which she assisted him in the bathroom as before. He found it easier to let fly that time.

At bed time she stripped him and gave him a flannel wash, standing him on a towel and rubbing him all over, before drying him. The exercise aroused him and by the time she had finished he was hard. 

She seemed to ignore it, and led him to the bed, getting him a glass of milk for the night. Then she turned and faced him as he lay on the sheet, his penis pointing upward. He looked at her, and she looked at him, her eyes going deliberately from his face to his cock and back again in a way which kept him at full mast and frustrated him sorely.

"If you need me during the night-" she began.

"I can call you on the mobile," he said, but his whole self was crying out for sexual relief.

"I think it would be easier if I slept in your bed," she said, casting another glance at his rampant cock. "You can wake me much more easily here."

He nodded, of course!

She began to strip seductively, slowly pulling her tee shirt over her head and revealing her plain white lace trimmed bra, which pushed up and enhanced her cleavage. Then she slowly dropped her jeans, so she was standing in bra and matching lacy bikinis. She reached behind her to unhook, and he groaned. 

She smiled, letting the bra fall forward off her solid breasts, their nipples erect and demanding to be touched. Then down went her drawers, and at last she was standing naked, and all the memories of their life together came flooding back to both of them.

She climbed onto the bed, and pulled the duvet over them. Then she leaned over him and kissed him long and sensuously.

"Night-night," she said, half suppressing a giggle, and lying back. 

"Cassie!" he pleaded.

"Was there something?" she asked archly.

"Yes, my darling," he groaned. "You know there is."

"And what might I know?" she taunted him, though her eyes filled with tears when he called her darling.

"My cock," he said. "I'm in agony."

"You took your pain pills?" she said unable to resist dragging out his discomfort and frustration.

"Cassie, you know what I mean. I-"

"Yes, sweetheart, I know," she chuckled. "I'm sorry for teasing you. Your balls still look tender, but my friend down there looks healthy enough."

She pushed the duvet back: the night was not cold. She gently took his penis in her hand and began to stroke up and down, rotating her hand as she reached the glans.

He moaned his appreciation, and at the same time felt elation that she called him sweetheart. He moaned again as she made her way down the bed, kissing his chest, his stomach and reaching her ministering hand, took him in her mouth, licking around the head, and dropping down on him, taking him deeper and beginning a slow bobbing of her mouth up and down the shaft, applying a little suction as she rose.

It did not take long. It had been some days since he had ejaculated, or indeed had any stimulation to his penis.

"Cassie my love," he warned, "I'm close."

She slowed, intensifying his nearness to release and holding it off, and he remembered how skilled she was at this. His desperation increased.

"Please!" he pleaded. "Please my dearest!"

Her heart flipped as he called her his love and his dearest, and she bobbed faster and swirling her tongue. 

He roared and grunted as he came, spurting into her waiting mouth, and she swallowed as his semen coated her tongue and felt as if it filled her. She had longed for him and for his gift. As his contractions diminished, she pulled off him, kissing his cock head.

She looked up at his satiated face with its hooded eyes and grateful smile, and he looked down to see adoration in her eyes. 

She came up the bed to him, and they kissed voraciously, thrusting tongues and nipping lips. He could taste some bitterness and knew what it was, thinking it was not unpleasant, if not exactly pleasant either.

At length they parted and she laid her head on his shoulder, making sure it did not hurt him. Her fingers played with his wilting cock, and caressed his balls so lightly that he felt only pleasure and no pain.

"I'm so sorry!" she whispered. "So sorry."

He responded as quietly. "I'm sorry I've been so wrapped up in my own hurt not to see yours. Forgive me, my sweet." 

"It's taken too long to get here again," she continued. "I'm not letting you go on any tours ever again, but if you do, I'll trust you, please believe me."

He laughed a little. "No more tours for me, but if I did, you'd be coming with me."

They both laughed, and it seemed that the hurt was fading away. They lay close and still for a while, save for her fingers tracing over his chest and down his sides. 

Then he stiffened.

"What is it my love?" she asked, worried.

"You haven't come," he said.

"I didn't really expect to," she replied. "There'll be plenty of time for that. You're in no position to make love to me. You've called me your love, your sweetheart, your darling, your dearest. You've no idea how lovely it was for me to hear that. It's more than enough."

He said nothing but painstakingly and painfully at times, rose enough to push her onto her back then made his way down her body, kneeling on the floor at the end of the bed, and leaning on his forearms, kissing her stomach, he swirled his tongue round her belly button before going lower.

It took some rearrangement to position his mouth over her vulva, but he was able to use his tongue on it, working it between her labia then from vagina to clitoris, and back again.

"Ged, you don't need - aah!" His tongue stroking her nub ended her protest.

He did not need to use his tongue for long. The high emotion of his endearments and her own devotion to his cock, the remnants of his taste in her mouth, then the obvious painful effort he made to reach her sex was enough to have her on edge, and his clever tongue - the only part of him fully operational, she thought fleetingly - darting here and there, then licking front to back and back to front shot her over the edge and she came hard. 

"Eaah! Oh! Urgh!" came the cries as her universe went briefly black and she saw stars. Her hips reared off the bed, fell back and reared again, her knees came up and caught his shoulders before falling back in their turn. Her spasms gradually diminished and she lay limp.

Ged laid his head on her stomach and rested, then slowly with her helping hands made his way back to her face, and they kissed gently and sleepily. 

"I love you Cassie," he said. No more, it was enough for her. It made her day perfect.

"I love you so much," she answered. "So much!" and she sobbed out her happiness.

No more needed to be said. They were back.

--



Music Man Pt. 07



Chapter Forty Four

Cassie was not needed during Ged's first night home, and on Friday morning they both slept late and awoke groggy, with a dawning sense of giddiness that they were truly back together. Ged's erection became obvious as her hands wandered over his body, and he muttered, "I have to go to the..." was enough to make her spring out of bed and accompany him to the bathroom.

He bent forward to allow her to aim his wilting penis into the bowl, and, having finished and being wiped by her now expert hand, turned and sat on the bowl.

"Put the extractor on," he said, "I'll call when i've finished. Sorry."

It was the moment he dreaded. Somehow having a nurse wipe his bottom was professional business and he felt only minor embarrassment, but now this was the woman he loved having to do this distasteful service for him.

However, there was nothing he could do about it, and having completed the action he called her. She entered, gave no indication of disgust or discomfort, but cleaned him up and flushed for him.

"Thanks," he said, "I wish you didn't have to do that."

"I don't have to," she said, as she thoroughly washed her hands. "I love you and I'm glad to do it."

"It's not pleasant."

"It's necessary. Now come down for breakfast, or do you want to shower and dress first?" she said with a laugh. She was still naked and so was he, and both were happy to be so.

"Shower?" he asked. "I can't shower," he waved his bandaged and plastered hands at her.

She produced two large freezer bags and two thick elastic bands. "I think you can with these," she said, fitting them over his dressings and securing them with the elastic bands.

"You need to keep your hands upwards so the water can run off," she advised, turning to run the water and get it at the right temperature. "Ready?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah," he said, "This will be luxury!"

"You bet it will, with a maid to wash you all over!" 

They laughed as they walked into the huge shower.

She washed Ged first, getting an immediate response from his cock as she made sure that area was clean after the night before. Then she washed herself, while he stood and watched, his cock coming to full mast, as he held his hands upwards.

She dried him and then herself, and instructed him to keep his hands upwards while she dried then removed the plastic bags and dried his forearms.

Then she dressed him and herself, and they went for breakfast, some of which he fed himself, balancing the spoon of cereal on his bandage and hooking his finger over the spoon to hold it in place. It was a slow business but Cassie made no move to help him until he put the spoon down with a sigh, and she took over without a word. 

He was grateful and impressed that she was giving him every chance to do things for himself, and only intervening without comment when it was obvious he could not manage. 

She was acutely aware that his normal practice after breakfast always had been to deal with his emails and check his banks and cards. It seemed a long time ago she had witnessed this, though it was only two years. So much had happened and none of it good. Her guilt came back with a vengeance. 

He saw her face fall. 

"What's the matter?" he asked. He was still so euphoric after their activities the previous night and their expressions of love and recommitment, to say nothing of their intimacy in the morning, that he wondered whether she had had second thoughts.

"It's all my fault," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "Your beautiful hands. If I'd trusted you as I promised, this would never have happened."

"Cassie," he reproved her, "you've got to stop thinking like this. We can't see into the future. If that louse at school hadn't used you and made you have the abortion, we probably would never have met. Your life would have been different, and so would mine. 

"If I'd not agreed to the tour, I'd probably be a director of some company by now and have two hands and have composed no songs. Please put it behind you. Look what you're doing for me. I'm so happy we're back together again. We'll get through this together. No recriminations."

She leant against him and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, you're too good to me," she said. "Now! Time for you to do your chores. Come on!"

He wondered what she meant, since he was capable of so little, but followed her dutifully into his office.

"Do you mind me seeing your accounts and emails, you know, they may be personal?" she asked as she pulled another chair over to the computer desk and sat him down beside her.

"No," he said. "No secrets between us. You get to see it all."

There was a mountain of emails, most of which were to be deleted, and none required an early answer. Then his current account, and the account into which fed the royalties for his songs and recordings. She gasped when she saw it, and the steady stream of money that came into it from all over the world.

He laughed and directed her to another account that he called his savings account. 

"This is a joke, right?" she said looking at the seven figure balance.

"Well, it makes me cheerful," chuckled Ged. "You realise that there are investments and various tax free savings - all legal," he said. "I have stocks and shares as well, but they aren't doing too well since the crash."

Then he became more pensive, as he looked around at his guitars, keyboard and piano. There was the mixing desk and another, dedicated computer for his music. He could play none of it, nor compose anything. 

Cassie saw his gaze and his expression. She got up and went to the piano, sat down, and played. She played 'Connie', then a number of his other compositions. Then she produced a book of Beethoven Sonatas, and played all three movements of the 'Moonlight', cursing over her mistakes, then another book and from it some Chopin.

He was dumbstruck. She had never played in his presence in all the time they were together, and he could see that her technical ability and even her style and interpretation far outclassed his own, even though he had the higher qualification.

"Ged, my love," she said. "I can be your hands until you're better. You'll just have to get used to telling me what to do."

He was overcome, and broke down in tears. It was partly his disability, partly her generosity, sensitivity and skill, and his heart was full. She immediately left the piano and came to him, enveloping him in her arms, his head against her breast, kissing his forehead.

"Why didn't I know how well you play?" he haltingly asked when he was more under control. "You can play far better than I can!"

"I don't know," she replied. "I felt shy I think. I used to play when you weren't at home."

'You can play as often as you like, you're so talented!" He grinned at her, and she flushed with embarrassment at his praise.

As usual, while she thought he ought to go for a walk to build up his strength, she merely suggested it might be a good idea, and again he appreciated her delicacy in allowing him his autonomy. So they went walking in the sunny morning, returning in time for lunch, a cheese salad which she fed to him. 

Once again he rested in the early afternoon, and she undressed and dressed him as before. She prepared a beef stew, and once in the oven, she looked for him in the living room, and found he was missing. She found him at the computer, laboriously typing with his left index finger.

She stood for a minute enjoying the sight of him totally absorbed in his task, and then he noticed her, and looked unaccountably guilty.

She smiled. "Glad to see you're managing," she said. "You will say if you want me to do anything won't you?"

He looked relieved. "I thought you were going to scold me for doing this. I had an idea for a lyric and wanted to get it down while I thought of it."

He began to hum a tune, and she immediately sped to the piano and to his amazement, played the tune in key with his singing.

"Cassie?" 

"Yes, my sweet?"

"You have perfect pitch?"

"Yes, my darling."

"If I show you how to work the keyboard, we could record the music on it, together."

"Sounds good."

"It will!" he laughed, and she was delighted that he was so positive and cheerful at every little success.

They spent an hour playing with the equipment, as she familiarised herself with it and they put together a new song. They sang it together and she played, and afterwards cheered and laughed at their success. He hugged her with his arms and she hugged him back and then there was kissing.

She felt him hardening, as he nuzzled and kissed her neck.

"Hold on, boy!" she shouted. "It's dinner time and it'll spoil. Patience lover, patience!"

But after dinner their patience ran out and they found themselves in the bedroom, she stripping him and then herself. The process had its effect on him and he was erect and ready before her last garment, her thong, slid down her long legs and she, like him, was naked.

"Lie down on your back," she ordered, standing hands on hips and legs apart. "It's time we did this properly!"

He lay back and she straddled him, grasping his hard cock and feeding it to her as she sank onto him. There was no resistance and he realised she was very ready. His face gave the thought away.

"I've been ready since we played the song together," she said. "That thong is thoaking!" and she giggled at the expression of surprise and lust on his face. "Tell me if I'm hurting you," she added as she began to rise and fall, squeezing him with her Kegel muscles rhythmically as she did so. He moaned and groaned at each of her movements, and was frustrated that he could not fondle her breasts as they gently shook with her undulations.

She saw his expression and the involuntary movements of his arms to her sides, and leant forward to present her nipples closer to his face. 

He was amazed at first and then realised that when they coupled before the tour, she always seemed to know what he wanted without being asked. He lifted his head and took each nipple into his mouth in turn, flicking with his tongue, sucking on them and nipping them gently with his teeth.

She sighed and gasped, and began to bounce as his ministrations brought her closer to her release. Her fingers went to her sex and she strummed herself. On his part there was the gathering and gentle ache as he felt the first tendrils of his climax. 

"I'm coming," he groaned, the sounds squeezed out of him as he tried to hold off for her.

"Yes, come!" she cried, "I'm there! Oh fucking hell! Yes, I am! Yes, oh yesss!" and she bucked and shook, and as it took her hard, she felt him throb, and he grunted and groaned as the semen shot from him into her clasping vagina again and again.

She fell forward onto him, breathless and laughing. "Oh, that's so good!" she panted, little hiccups escaping her as the final twitches of her orgasm fell away. 

The weekend passed peacefully as they began to fall into a routine and he began to feel more at ease with her more personal and intimate ministrations. 

On Saturday morning she got out his razor. He looked uncertain. She put one leg up on the vanity unit and displayed her shaved sex. 

"See?" she said. "I do know how to shave!" and giggled. "I was thinking about your face, but I can go down below if you want!"

"Just stay up here!" he said grinning. "I trust you."

Thus he stayed clean shaven - up there.

She suggested a walk each day to get his strength up and he suggested an hour or so in the music room, so she could experiment with the equipment. It inevitably led to a torrid sex session in the bedroom.

On Monday morning by joint agreement, they reconnected the phones, and the calls began almost immediately. 

Gus rang asking, like everyone who phoned subsequently, how he was. Cassie held the phone to his ear for the call, while Gus and Ged commiserated over his hands and the consequent impossibility of Ged's performing.

After that call Cassie investigated the speaker-phone facility.

"I'm not holding the phone to your ear every time," she said. "When it rings if you're nearer, all you need do is press that button. It's what your operational finger is for."

"Not the only thing," he said with a lewd grin.

She arched her eyebrows, "No, of course, you can call me on your mobile!" 

She laughed, deliberately affecting not to understand his suggestion. He sighed, and she laughed louder.

The next call was from Vivienne, happy he was home and inviting him to the group's practice the next evening at her place, and to the Friday evening at the pub. He cast an enquiring glance at Cassie who nodded enthusiastically. 

"And..." Viv hesitated, conscious of treading on shaky ground. 

"We're getting on well," he said with a laugh. "She might even come along tomorrow."

"Oh, good. I'm so glad."

Graham phoned to update Ged on the Zak saga, to tell Cassie that Zak had sent in his response to the petition and to advise Cassie to meet Zak to agree finances. 

Cassie was adamant that after Zak's attack on Ged she would not meet him, but Graham urged her to meet, telling her it would speed up the divorce and assuring her that he would be there as well. It was purely business and he urged her to suppress any feelings of antipathy she had towards her ex. Reluctantly she agreed.

There were more calls, from the Frobishers in London, and from Karin who was concerned whether he was coping at home. She giggled when he told her that Cassie was handling him well.

The BBC called asking if they could do a fly on the wall documentary about his recovery, which he refused but said they could interview him at crucial points.

The next call came from Marie. She was upset. He reassured her he was fine apart from his hands.

"It must be awful for you all alone at home," she said. "How are you managing? Shall I come and help?"

"I'm OK, Sweetie," he said. "I've got a very good nurse and housekeeper."

"Really?"

"Yes," he smiled, and the smile came across in his voice. "I think you know her," and waited.

"You mean...?"

"Yes."

A screech! Then another, then "Mum, Dad! Cassie's looking after Ged at his house!"

Then of course he had to talk to 'Mum' and 'Dad'. Yes she was staying with him. Yes, she was acting as his hands, yes they were back together. He was touched by their excitement and their assurances that he was doing the right thing. He told them he knew he was, and was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Cassie.

It reminded Ged that he had not phoned his mother since he left the hospital, and so he rectified that, keying in her number with his finger. She had phoned the hospital and had been told that he and Cassie had left, and that he was in her care. He assured her he was fine and Cassie got her turn to say he had been well behaved.

His mother laughed and hoped he had not been too well behaved to which Cassie responded that she did not know what his mother could possibly mean. More laughter.

It was Cassie that answered the last call they received that day. It was from Cheryl.

"Hello?" said Cassie.

Silence.

"Hello?" said Cassie.

"Sorry, I must have the wrong number."

"No, I don't think you have, Cheryl."

Pause. "Cassie?" 

"Yep!"

"Oh, I'm so glad! Are you...?"

"Yes, we are."

"About bloody time!" Cheryl laughed. "You living there?"

"Yes, his hands are both inoperative, so I'm his hands."

"Oooh, sexy!"

"Sometimes. Fortunately, his hands are the only parts of him that are incapacitated!"

This earned a filthy laugh from her girl friend. "Enough information!" she giggled. "Please come for dinner on Sunday. Please! Please!"

Ged had arrived during the exchange, and nodded his agreement. So that was arranged.

As soon as Cassie disconnected he asked her, "How d'you feel about playing for me tomorrow. I can still sing, and we could take the keyboard along."

Cassie looked uncertain for a moment, then nodded. "We'd better practise," she said. So they spent the rest of the day and much of Tuesday, practising the pieces he was likely to be singing with the group, and alone.

Ged was impressed by her dedication. She practised and practised until she felt it was perfect, which was long after when Ged thought it was! So they both felt more than confident they were prepared for the group's practice.

It amused Ged the way things went on Tuesday. They arrived with Cassie carrying the keyboard but the group took one look at his hands and there was a horrified silence as they realised the implications of the injuries. Strangely no one wondered why he'd brought the keyboard, at least not then.

"Do they know how serious...?" asked Ben.

"No," said Ged. "Six weeks from now they're going to check. I'll know about the left hand sooner, I think."

There was another silence, then Vivienne came to life. "We'd better get started," she said, then noticed the keyboard. "Ged? The keyboard? Your hands?"

"Ah," he smiled. "I have four hands, two aren't working at the moment, but the other two are just fine."

There was consternation, and the group looked at him as if he were mad. Then Ben saw it.

"Cassie? You play?"

"A damn sight better than I do," said Ged. He nodded at Cassie, and Ben lugged the keyboard in. Ged sang his new song and Cassie accompanied it, but instead of playing the tune, played an accompaniment of her own, which complemented the song perfectly. 

The group watched and listened open mouthed.

"God, that was good!" said an admiring Vivienne.

So began a new relationship. Cassie had shown herself able to play keyboard as well as, if not better than Ged did, though she could not play the guitar. 

So August passed into September, but although the sun was lower in the sky, the temperatures were mid summer ones and it was very warm that first week. It was purgatory for Ged's plastered hand.

They joined the group on Friday at the pub. Ged would shoot admiring glances at Cassie as she played away, wrapped up in the music.

On Sunday, Cheryl's glee at their reunification and Brendan's smile was gratifying to the pair and they had to narrate the path to their present state. 

Cheryl was horrified at Zak's part in Ged's disability and wanted to know whether the damage was reparable, which of course they did not know. It cast something of a damper on the celebration.

Monday the sixth of September saw Cassie's meeting with Zak at Graham's office.

Zak had been remanded on bail to the Crown Court, with an injunction against making any contact with Ged. There was enough DNA evidence gleaned from his house since he had omitted to wash any of his clothes after the attack. 

Cassie arrived early to be in Graham's office before Zak arrived. She did not want to meet him outside. Ten minutes later, Graham's secretary ushered him into the conference room.

"Mr Copthorne," she announced and stood aside to allow him to enter.

"Good morning, Mr Copthorne," Graham greeted him, and without waiting for a reply (none was forthcoming) he gestured to a chair at the opposite side of the table from where Cassie and he were seated. Cassie did not greet him, or even acknowledge his existence.

Zak sat down. "Get on with it," he growled.

Graham was unruffled, though Cassie bridled at the rudeness.

"This meeting is to reach agreement on the division of assets from the marriage," Graham began. "Mrs Copthorne, as I think you already know, wants nothing from you or the marriage, and is willing to sign an affidavit to that effect for the court." Graham sat back and indicated that it was Zak's turn to speak. 

"Well, she would," he said sullenly. "She knows I'm unemployed but she's earning good money. I want a 50/50 split."

Cassie sat forward, but Graham shook his head and she sat back again.




Music Man Pt. 07



"Mr Copthorne," Graham said, "You may not realise that Mrs Copthorne has resigned from her post in order to care for Mr Smith, who, as I think you are aware, has lost the use of his hands. 

"You, however, though unemployed yourself, have a house under mortgage. Am I to understand that you wish to put the house up for sale and divide the proceeds evenly between you?"

"What d'you mean? That house is mine."

"It is an asset, and if you wish for an even split, the court would want it taken into account. Mrs Copthorne has in the region of eighteen thousand pounds in savings, but the flat she occupies is rented partially furnished. How much remains on the mortgage?"

Zak thought. "About fifty thousand."

"And the house is worth in the region of two hundred and ten thousand if sold. That means a hundred and sixty thousand clear. Mrs Copthorne would therefore receive eighty thousand pounds, and you would get nine thousand from her. Is that what you want?"

"She wouldn't get that much. The house was mine before the marriage, and we weren't married long."

"Mr Copthorne, you wanted an even split of assets. Now you say you don't. I advise you to get legal advice: get a solicitor. He will tell you what to expect if you don't believe me. If you leave it to the courts to decide, you would still have to sell the house, and she would get well in excess of the nine thousand you want from her. 

"The court would also take into account the business of your use of Mr Smith's money, you understand my meaning? Mr Smith is in process of suing you for the return of that money, and that would also be noted. 

"I'm acting on behalf of Mrs Copthorne, and her instructions are to ask for nothing financial from you. It really is in your best interest to accept her generous offer. It's the best you can get and any solicitor will agree with me."

"I don't believe you, and I'll get advice. You haven't heard the last of this."

With that he stood, and at that, Cassie spoke for the first time.

"I think this is the last time I will ever speak to you, Zak. I want you to remember that every time I think about the lies you told, every time I remember sex with you I will feel revulsion, nausea and disgust. 

"In my view what you did to me amounted to rape by deception. You make me feel sick inside. Now it appears you had some part to play in Ged's disability. As a musician, you should be appalled at what you've done. I hope they put you away for a long, long time. I never want to see you again."

Zak's face was impassive as he left the room.

"Cassie I'm sure he'll come round when he thinks about it. The divorce will go ahead without the financial agreement."

"Thanks Graham, I just want to be clear of him. He makes my flesh creep."

--

With Lee and Zak now awaiting trial for their attack on Ged, the band could not function, since Joshua, Peter and Amos wanted nothing more to do with the other two. Joshua and their manager, Leo, began to look for new band members. When Lee and Zak arrived for the next practice, they were told by the manager that they were no longer required and that the band had been dissolved. 

Life was looking bleak for Lee and for Zak, who was already trying to work out further revenge on the man he saw as the source of all his troubles.

-- 

For the next few weeks Cassie and Ged were happy together, and fell into the routines of life that all couples do. On Wednesday 15th of September the Decree Nisi arrived. Cassie and Ged celebrated by going to bed for an hour, though sleep was far from the agenda.

The next day they attended the hospital to have the bandage removed from his left hand.

-- 

Chapter Forty Five

When the bandages came off Ged's left hand, the x-ray showed that the ring and little fingers needed strapping for a few more weeks, though the index and middle fingers and the thumb were at last free.

The orthopaedic consultant examined the two fingers to be strapped. 

"You will need some physiotherapy before we know whether you'll get back full use," he said "but the thumb and first two fingers are good as new."

The right hand was also x-rayed and the bones were pronounced nearly healed. "You have healed quickly. Another two weeks and we'll have a look at your right hand."

An appointment was made for Friday 1st October, and they were on their way home.

Ged was quiet on the journey back, and Cassie kept flashing worried glances at him. He was once again brought face to face with the state of his right hand, and with a worry that his left hand would not heal perfectly. He noticed her look and sought to lighten the atmosphere.

"I bet you'll miss wiping my bottom, won't you?" he joked as they waited at some traffic lights.

"I'll miss holding your cock while you piss," she answered with a grin. "I suppose now you're capable again, you'll want me out of your house." It was said humorously but there was an undertow that Ged noticed.

She drove up the drive and parked. Once they were inside, he turned her towards him.

"That was a joke, right?" he said with a worried frown. "We're together now, aren't we?"

A look of relief flooded her face, then another emotion he couldn't read. She sighed. 

"Are we?" she asked seriously.

"I thought that was obvious?" he said, puzzled.

"I said that I'd come and help you until you could cope," she said. "So it isn't obvious."

"But we're making love, don't you want to stay?"

"Ged it's not my call. It's your house, I'm a visitor."

He couldn't understand why she was being evasive. Did she want to leave now she'd experienced living with him?

"Cassie, I don't understand. We've been together for weeks, we've shared a bed since day one, and we've made love in it since day two. I want you; I've always wanted you. Why was I in turmoil because you were with Zak if I didn't want you? Are you saying you want to leave?"

"Say it Ged. Say what you want from me."

"I want you to stay with me, not just while my hand's in plaster. I want you to stay for good, as we always planned. Please, Cassie, will you stay?"

She stood silent her face betraying worry about something he could not understand. He had no option but to wait. At length she spoke.

"Ged, there's something warning me about this. I don't know what it means. You seem completely certain that everything is fine between us now and nothing need come between us ever again. I'd love to be as certain, I want to be that certain."

His face fell as he feared she really wanted to go, but she was hastening on.

"No, don't look like that Ged. There's nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you and always have, but there's something not quite right, and I don't know what it is. I just have this feeling that if I commit totally there will be tears and something worse than what we've already been through."

"So you're going to move out? Finish us?"

"No!" she reacted strongly. "If you want me to stay with you, I will stay. I really do want to. I've never been as happy as I have been over the past few weeks. All I'm saying is that until I can feel free to make this permanent..."

"We stay together, but remaining free to leave, you mean?"

"We stay until this feeling in me is laid to rest. I think time will sort it out. I think the feeling is that there may come a moment when you want me to go, not that I will want to go, do you understand?"

"I can't see how that can be," he said, despondently, "but-"

"All I'm asking is that we carry on as we have been over the past weeks until I'm certain. That's all."

At this he smiled sadly. "OK, I can live with that. Nothing will change because I can largely see to myself now. You're going to stay with me. That's all that matters."

"Yes, and I want to stay with you. Really."

"C'mere!" he growled, pulling her to him and for the first time since he left for the tour she felt his hand and his fingers caressing her back as they hugged. She moaned with pleasure.

With elation he moved his liberated left hand up her side and moving apart, held her breast and pinched her nipple through the shirt she was wearing using his thumb and two fingers. 

She giggled, then sighed. "It's been a long time," she whispered, "but worth it!"

For the next fortnight, life for them settled into a rhythm of walking, music, resting and receiving visitors. Ged got Cassie to drive him whenever he visited his mother, and the two women quickly regained the friendship they'd had before the tour. 

Cassie was by now working three hours a day editing various kinds of literature for her publishing house. She was highly valued and took on a steady stream of work. She could have taken more, but wanted to be there for Ged: his right hand being in plaster meant he still needed help. She was still cook, washerwoman and cleaner, with Gwen's help of course.

Ged said Cassie didn't need to work any more: he had more than enough to keep them for the rest of their lives, but she said she wanted to work, and he wondered if this was part of her reluctance to commit to him fully.

--

On the first of October the plaster came off his right hand, and it was not good news.

It was immediately obvious that the hand was badly disabled, though exactly how much movement could be regained would await physiotherapy. The left hand was now almost fully functional now the strapping was off, though Ged was finding life difficult, being very right handed. 

He went private for the physio and signed on for treatment every other day on Cassie's urging, with more exercises to do at home.

"I can tell," he said gruffly looking at his right hand as she drove him home. "I'll never be able to play again."

"Please Ged," she begged. "Don't lose heart. You don't know how much-"

"Cassie," he snapped. "It's my hand, I can tell, it's demic, I mean - look at it!"

"Please wait Ged, my love. It's been immobile for a long time, even if it looks wrong, you won't know how much use you'll get till you've got the muscle strength back."

"It's never going to be as good as new."

"OK, I agree, but you may be able to do a lot more than you think with it, Don't lose heart, not yet."

He realised that she wouldn't ever lie to make him feel better, and loved her for it, but it did not lift the cloud that was beginning to settle over him.

Cassie noticed. "Ged, promise me you'll go through all the physio. at home as well as at the hospital."

He shrugged. "OK. I'll do all the pain, but I don't hope for very much gain."

He looked over at her as the car came to a stop outside the front door of the house and saw the tears coursing down her cheeks.

"Cassie? What's the matter?" He put his arm round her and pulled her against him using his arm and wrist.

"Your beautiful hands," she wept. "I'm so sorry, but we'll see this through my darling, won't we?"

He felt her love for him in her tears, and he felt better. They entered the house with his arm around her, but once inside she dragged him up to the bedroom and stripped off her clothes rapidly, before helping him out of his own. Then she pushed him onto his back, straddled him and took his right hand in hers. She kissed each heavily scarred finger fervently, lightly.

"Ged, we can get through this," she said, looking into his eyes. "Together we can beat this."

He smiled at her optimism which deep down he could not share, and she felt relief at that stiff smile. It was not only his smile either, his cock was stiff and erect, and she put him to her and sank down. He grunted with the sensation of her clasping length. Then she lay forward and kissed him, rotating her hips to move a little. Wordless sounds escaped them both as the intense snug feelings of his embeddedness in her overcame them.

He was lost in the feelings she was giving him, and emotionally buoyed up by her demonstration of love and support. 

As they lay together afterwards he felt better. He found he could move his right index finger and thumb, but there was no strength there. Still it encouraged him, he smiled and Cassie breathed a sigh of relief. He saw her optimistic smiling face and it cheered him. 

That Friday they performed with the group and she made love that night with Ged on top, resting his weight on his hands. There was no pain and it felt good to be able to do it at all, let alone succeed in giving her pleasure that way.

His cheerfulness did not last. 

He was as good as his word to Cassie and worked intensively on his hand according to the rules the physiotherapist laid down. The painful treatment at hospital progressed and it became clearer and clearer that Ged would be eventually be able to use his thumb and index finger almost normally, but there would never be real strength there and the index finger would never bend fully. The middle finger gained some strength but movement was very restricted. His ring finger and little finger hardly responded at all and clenched against his palm.

As the reality of his disability became clearer, his despondency deepened. At first he tried to pretend all was well, but the effort was noticeable and began to falter. Over the darkening weeks of October, Cassie couldn't help but notice his deterioration in mood, but she kept pushing him until he began to snap at her to stop nagging him.

After a fortnight of torture it was obvious that no further progress was being made - the physiotherapist admitted as much - and Ged told Cassie he'd abandoned the treatment. She knew he was right, and the hand would not improve any further, but urged him to keep up with the exercises at home to hold on to what progress had been made.

Hold on? he thought grimly, noting the pun. If only!

Over the following four weeks he spiralled into deep depression.

He felt aimless and hopeless, and initially it was only Cassie's pretty face and constant smile whenever he caught her eye that kept him doing what she wanted. Yes, OK, he would go for a daily long brisk walk; yes, OK, he would exercise his fingers; he would do his accounts; he would eat all his meals even when he had no appetite.

Towards the end of that first week, her cajoling gradually began to feel too much, and her urging began to annoy him. He found he could not get to sleep even after they had made love, and as a result he slept in most mornings, and Cassie, who had been kept awake by his tossing and turning, let him sleep but felt worn out herself. He felt groggy when he awoke and dreaded her return to the bedroom with her bright face and impending nagging.

However, Cassie managed to get him out for one occasion. On Thursday 28th October, Graham rang to tell her that six weeks and one day had passed and she could now apply for the Decree Absolute, and that, by the way, Zak had relinquished all claims on her provided she did the same. She was delighted.

"Come with me to see Graham?" she begged so earnestly that he agreed. He saw her sign the application and watched Graham seal it in the envelope.

"How's the civil action going?" Ged asked.

"The case comes up in January," said Graham, "about the same time as the criminal trial. If Zak's got any sense he'll plead guilty and get a reduced sentence, so you won't have to give evidence. However, knowing him, he'll stick it out and get sent down for years more."

Clare looked sad. 

"What's the matter with you?" asked Ged, getting annoyed, thinking she still had feelings for the man. 

"No, I know what you're thinking. It's not that. I have no feelings for him at all other than dislike and disgust. It's just a shame that he's caused so much suffering to you Ged and to me, and now to himself. For what gain? Who's won here?"

The two men were silenced, and each admired her compassion and insight.

"No one's won," Graham said. "You're quite right. Even the country's going to suffer, we all now have to spend tax money keeping him in gaol for years. All Ged's fans will suffer if he's not able to perform for them any more. Very sad. Very sad."

They left, on this occasion both feeling dull and miserable.

The first strong symptom that all was not well with him mentally, came a day later when he told her she needn't shave him any more, he would let his beard grow. She shrugged and ceased helping him at all in the bathroom.

On the Sunday Viv phoned to check he was coming to practice on the Tuesday, and Cassie heard him tell her he wasn't going to go any more, either to practice or to the pub on Friday. Then he put the phone down.

Cassie tried to persuade him otherwise but he became annoyed, and so she did not push him. However, she told him she would be going to the practices and the Friday nights even if he wasn't. He felt jealous then, as if she were taking over from him and it added to his sense of worthlessness. He sulked. It did not stop her.

Over that second week he had also shut Gus down when he rang. Gus had learned not to suggest he try to compose some new songs, but this time Ged told him that that part of his life was finished. He told Gus that the Frobishers could do what they liked with his existing 'stuff', but there would be no new material or arrangements coming from him. The Frobishers called him but his attitude was aggressive and negative and they gave up ringing after that.

As the days went by, he gradually cut off communication with their friends, though Cassie kept up with them. He seldom spoke to Cheryl or Bob, simply handing the phone to Cassie if they rang. Karin phoned from time to time, and he lied that he was fine, but dodged any invitations to go out for dinner or drinks.

Then he became aimless and reluctant to get out of bed in the mornings. Cassie was consistent in her indefatigable efforts to keep his spirits up, or at least stop them sinking any further. One thing she always managed to do was to seduce him to make love to her, though it became clear to her that he was not making love any more, but merely having sex. He was mechanical and, she felt, distant. It upset her, but she did not let it show.

In spite of his gradual withdrawal from her, she kept up her efforts to keep him from abject despair. She chivvied him into action each morning, kissed him and urged him out of bed. She excelled herself in making new and exciting dishes for him to eat, and she was encouraged that he did eat what she set before him. She cajoled him into going with her shopping and out for walks, which he did because at some level he knew she loved him and wanted what was best for him. However, it daily became more and more difficult.

By the third week, the walks came to an end. They had returned from a short walk. The darkness of a damp and dreary November had not helped his spirits. When they returned he walked past her into the living room, where he sank into his chair and for once spoke to her without her request for an answer.

"Well, that's it." He looked at his hands, then folded them into his lap. "Cassie, they'll never get better. I'm finished as a musician." He paused and sighed deeply. "In fact I'm finished as a man. There's no point in going on. What's left? Going for fucking walks. Not any more."

He closed his eyes and went to sleep, and she left him while she went to make lunch. As she put together the ingredients for cheese on toast with a poached egg, which he always ate, she felt real fear. He had never given up so radically, never implied he wanted to die. Furthermore, he never said things purely for effect, purely to get a supportive reaction, or get some pity. She worried that he meant it.

An hour later she woke him. 

"Come on, my darling," she said taking his beaten hand and pulling him to his feet. "Time for lunch."

"Cassie, I don't feel like eating anything." 

"It's cheese on toast with a poached egg," she said imploring him, "your favourite. Come on, eat it for me."




Music Man Pt. 07



That time he did as she asked, but for the rest of the day he sat in his chair doing nothing except sleeping from time to time, then took himself off to bed without telling her. 

Next morning she found he had an erection and took him in her mouth to awake him. He pushed her away.

"For God's sake, Cassie, leave me alone. Stop fussing over me."

Deeply hurt, she left the bed and he remained there until midday, when he got up, showered and dressed. He went downstairs and sat in his easy chair in the living room. Once again there were heavy clouds and the day was dark. It did not help. He was sad enough without suffering SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

Cassie realised this depression was serious: an illness, and called the doctor the following Monday.

Ged had not risen for the day when the doctor arrived. She showed him into the bedroom and left them to it. She could hear raised voices, then a quieter conversation. Finally the doctor emerged.

"You're quite right, he is severely depressed," he said. "I've prescribed some anti-depressants which he's promised to take."

She took Ged's car and did some shopping while waiting for the prescription to be made up. When she returned he was still in bed. She took a pill and a glass of water to him in bed, woke him and presented them to him.

"These are the pills the doctor prescribed," she said. "They're anti-depressants. They may help you to feel better."

"Oh." That was all. He did not try to take them from her. 

She laid the pill on his bedside table with the tumbler of water, and left in tears. 

That afternoon she went back and found the pill had gone and the tumbler was empty. He was asleep again and had not left his bed all day.

She went downstairs where Gwen was sitting after her afternoon's work.

"Well, he's taken the pill," she said. "I suppose that's something."

"Cassie, darling," she said. "Let's hope the pills work, hold on girl, you're doing just fine."

However, apart from him taking the tablets, there was no real change. He came downstairs to the living room each of the following days that week, but sat reading, and falling asleep. 

On Thursday the Decree Absolute arrived through the letterbox.

Cassie brought it to Ged, who was still in bed. "I'm free," she said with a relieved smile. "I'm a single woman again."

"I'm pleased for you," Ged said monotonously, though without the elation he thought he would feel. He had hoped to propose to her on that day, but after their conversation about the future, he knew it was not going to happen as he had hoped. In any case he felt no inclination to propose.

She begged him to take a walk with her as a celebration. He did not react. 

She tried not to let his dark mood get to her. Each day she had offered him breakfast, and cajoled him into eating it. She had offered him lunch, which he ate mechanically. The same with dinner, which she had put it in front of him on a TV table, and he ate it watching the news. She talked about the news items and sometimes he did comment himself, usually negatively, but she felt getting a comment at all was a minor triumph. 

He always said thanks for his meals, but usually did not comment further. What worried her was that he seemed to be withdrawing into himself more and more. She noticed he was burying himself re-reading some of his novels.

After the Decree arrived, Ged did not appear downstairs and on the Saturday morning she made a discovery. She saw the remains of the anti-depressant tablets in the toilet bowl which had not flushed them away. He'd not been taking them at all. It was nine thirty in the morning and he was still in bed.

She went straight to his room and shook him awake, very angry.

"We need to talk," she said.

"We don't," he replied churlishly. 

"I don't care whether you want to or not," she growled, her distress and anger obvious. "Ged, I thought you loved me. You've not been taking your pills."

"They're not working."

"They're not working because you're not taking them! I've just seen a pile of them in the bottom of the loo."

"Can't be bothered."

"I don't think you love me any more. I'm just a servant here. The way you're going on is going to kill you. You might find that an easy way out, but you will leave me heart-broken. I don't think you care."

He looked up at her, his eyes distant and vague. "I do. It's just..." he stopped and shrugged.

"If you do love me, you'll at least eat three meals a day and take your pills."

He nodded, but said nothing.

"Nothing to say?" she said. "Well, Ged, I can't go on like this, sleeping next to you waking with you, but you ignoring me. You've not kissed me or shown me any affection for a fortnight. I kiss you and you don't react. I'm beginning to think you don't want me. Don't you care for me any more?"

He looked at her. "I just can't seem to..." he faltered and stopped. 

"I'm moving my stuff out of your room," she said in despair. "I can't stand this. In any case, you're out of bed so seldom it stinks. You may be in hell, but you're putting me through it as well."

She left the room and he stared after her. He did love her, but somehow couldn't muster enough energy to say or do anything about it.

That night she did not come to his bed. He looked around and noticed for the first time that her things had gone from the dressing table. He got out of bed and looked in the wardrobe. Her clothes had gone.

It stirred him and in his befuddled state he wondered why. He liked her warm presence, but dreaded having to talk to her. In fact he dreaded being awake and having to make any decisions at all. 

She didn't come back to his bed. He felt more hopeless and lonely, and kept to his bedroom. She begged him to come down for meals but he growled at her and turned away from her in the bed.

So she decided to bring his meals to his room, and leave them for him to eat - and she noted that he was eating most of what she provided. She wondered if he was somehow binning the food, but could find no evidence.

However, he wanted to show her he loved her, so he stirred himself to take the pills and make sure he took them in her presence. She'd know he took them that way. He also ate all the food she brought him, instead of picking and choosing part of each dish she put in front of him. He always muttered his thanks, and tried to force a smile.

While making that effort, he did not leave the bedroom, nor had he changed out of the tee shirt and boxers he wore to bed. The room smelled very unpleasant, but he had shouted at her when she tried to open his bedroom window, the air in his bedroom was fetid and reeked of stale sweat and body odour. 

On the Saturday following the pill incident, she marched in, opened the window wide to the cold November air against his shouted protests, and took out a fresh tee shirt and boxers from the drawer.

"Get a shower, Ged, you stink! Then change into these. Do it!" she snarled at him.

He was shocked by her aggression and obvious anger, and wondered if she was beginning to hate him.

She left the room, closing the door loudly, just short of a slam. When she returned an hour later the room was fresher, the window was still open and he had changed. She wondered if he had showered but did not ask.

Ged for his part, while surprised at her aggressive behaviour, was well aware that he was not clean, and did go and stand under the shower for some minutes, though he could not be bothered to actually wash himself properly, in any case doing it left-handed was a chore. 

She came in later, picking up his soiled sleepwear. 

"Ged, put on a dressing gown and go downstairs. Dinner is on the table. I need to clean your room and change the bed."

"Ugh? Oh, OK."

She did not comment further and left. He hated her angry mood, but did as he was told. It was the line of least resistance.

The following week, she took to opening his window wide in the morning, against his protests, but he did not shut it again. She had provoked him into going downstairs where it was warmer. However he did not dress.

"If you don't like the cold, go downstairs," she had told him. "That is, if you have enough strength in your poor little legs to walk down the stairs." It was said with heavy sarcasm. 

He did as she asked, which encouraged her, but he returned to his room in the afternoon. She had moved an armchair into his bedroom and he would sit there, looking out of the window or reading.

On Monday, encouraged by her success in moving him even a little on the two days before, she then hatched a plan which she ran by Gwen who thought it was a great idea.

So on the Tuesday, he was on his way back to the bedroom from his bathroom when he heard the piano. She was playing his songs, one after another. It enraged him. He stormed down to the music room and burst in.

"Shut up with that fucking rubbish!" he yelled, and began to stride towards her with murder in his eyes. She stopped playing and left the piano, and he slammed the lid shut. 

"Don't you dare do that again. They're my songs and I'll decide if they're played! You've got a fucking nerve!"

Not waiting for a response, he stomped back up the stairs to his bedroom, and sat heavily on the bed, breathing hard, his heart thumping in his chest. He wondered why he had done that. Now it was over, he could see his reaction was out of all proportion to the offence, if offence it could be called at all.

She for her part stood in the music room trembling. He'd never been aggressive towards her before and it frightened her. She wondered if he'd have struck her if she hadn't moved so he could vent his rage on the piano lid.

Then she began to be angry in her turn. There was no way he was going to stop her playing the piano. She would play, not his work, but the works of much greater composers. She would practise every day, daring him to attack her again. She'd show him!

Gwen had arrived to do her work as housekeeper and agreed with Cassie's reaction to his violence.

"He can't object to Mozart, Cariad!" she said with a laugh.

Next afternoon, when Ged awoke from a snooze in his armchair in the bedroom, he heard the piano again. He leapt out of the chair and was half-way down the stairs to the music room when he realised she was not playing his songs, but Beethoven's Appassionata Sonata, and she was practising it, stopping here and there and repeating phrases over and over till she got them right, then going back to the beginning and starting again.

Strangely the fractured music as she practised calmed him, and he shambled back to the bedroom, leaving the door open. 

For the next four days, each day, during two or three afternoon hours, she would practise and then play. Always Mozart, Chopin, and then some Liszt, and of course she was working her way through the Beethoven Sonatas. 

Every day he would open his door, the better to listen, unbeknownst to her. For him it shed a little light into his dark world. He looked forward each day to listen to her and that in itself was a progression, but each day when she finished, he sank back into the bleakness and torpor. And of course he said nothing to her, or things might have turned out differently.

At Gwen's advice, she had begun to talk to him as if everything was perfectly normal, ignoring his limited responses. She'd ask him questions, but rarely got an answer, and when there was, it was nothing beyond a grunt. 

After those four days at the piano, she could see no improvement, no change, and at last she could take no more: her nerves were in shreds and the constant negativity was sapping all her optimism. She was becoming angry and worried she would explode soon, which would do Ged no good at all.

So on the cold bright morning of Monday the 29th November, as he was getting up to visit the bathroom in his dressing gown, she arrived in his room and blocked the doorway.

"Gerald, I've tried and tried to look after you, but really I'm no use to you any more. It's been very wearing and I'm at the end of my tether. I'm going home to my parents for a rest and a bit of a holiday. 

"I'm sorry Ged, I can't take any more. In your present frame of mind you don't care whether I'm here or not, or you'd at least talk to me. You show me no interest, no affection, no love. I've lived in hope that you'd improve with time now you're taking the pills, but I see no sign of it. I've stopped taking the pill; there's no point if we're not sleeping together, and I don't need useless chemicals in my body.

"If you want me back, you only have to call. You know my parents' number and mine: they're on the speed dial of your phone. Perhaps some time on your own will help you to recover. You'll have to fend for yourself - the routine might help."

At this she hugged him and kissed his unresponsive lips, then picked up her suitcase and left the house. She sat in her car for fifteen minutes to see if he would come after her, and then with a heavy heart, she drove south.

--

At first he stood in the bedroom where he was, his trip to the bathroom forgotten. He wondered what had just happened. He'd only ever listened half-heartedly when she'd prattled on about all sorts of things, and he hadn't mentally processed what she'd just said. Then she had hugged and kissed him.

When he heard the car start, he remembered she had a suitcase. It shook him. He went downstairs and opened the front door. Her car was gone. He went to the living room and sat on the sofa. Then he remembered he needed the bathroom and used the one downstairs, before returning to sit on the sofa.

He racked his brains. She had come into the bedroom and said something, then kissed him and went. What was it she said? He looked round at the room. Then he ascended the stairs and looked into the bedroom she had been using, and he noticed the dressing table: it was empty. The bed was freshly made and the used bedding was in the clothes basket.

That puzzled him, so he went in and opened the wardrobe. He saw gaps where some of her clothes had been. He went to the drawers and found her underwear drawer was nearly empty. 

What the fuck? he wondered. What did she say? Something about home?

He went back downstairs again and looked out of the window. Yes, her car had really gone. He felt a moment of panic, then deeper sadness. She'd left him. He told himself that he couldn't really blame her, could he? He'd not been exactly the life and soul of the party, he thought with an involuntary transient grin at the idea. 

So what was left for him? All the money he could want, a huge house, crippled hands and nothing else.

He went back upstairs and stripped off his nightwear, wincing a little with the occasional residual pain in his right hand, and gazed at its ugliness. He should take some paracetamol. Then he remembered his anti-depressants and took one with the pain-killer. Then he felt tired, went back to bed and fell asleep. It was ten thirty in the morning. 

He woke at two. The day had turned dark and grey, heavy with rain clouds, which did not help his mood. He put on his dressing gown over his nakedness and went downstairs. 

He looked for a note from her, but there was none. Where had she gone? The gaping void in his life deepened, and he sat down, inert. 

I have to get out of this, he thought, but he did not move. What was the point? He had lost everything he had lived for. He could not play, and felt no inspiration to write. He remembered how frustrated Cassie was with his lack of interest in his music. Why hadn't he tried to be more awake to her needs when she left his bed?

That evening he found some leftover stew. Cassie had made it, he thought, but that was all. He heated it and ate it from the pan without enthusiasm for its delicious flavour. Then he switched on the TV and allowed whatever was on wash over him, until at midnight he switched it off and went to bed.

For the next three days he merely ate anything that required no preparation beyond the use of one hand, and slept. He had not shaved for quite a while, and sported a rough and untidy beard. The dishes mounted in the kitchen sink. He rinsed the last clean mug and used it again and again. 

Then looking at the dirty dishes it hit him. Gwen had not been in either. Did she say anything about not being there? He didn't think so. He became angry. What did he pay the woman for if she wasn't coming? 

He phoned her. She answered.

"It's Ged," he said, trying to keep his voice level. "You've not been in this week. Why?"

"Heavens my love," she answered without a shred of guilt, and his anger rose, but she was continuing. "Cassie told you a week ago: I'm taking two weeks holiday. I have to look after my husband. He's had a heart attack and needs me. He's getting better, but I don't know when I'll be able to leave him."

"I apologise," Ged said penitently. "Cassie has left me and I don't know where she's gone."

"Well, Ged bach, you can hardly blame her can you?"

Ged had a flash of resentment at her comment, then thought back over the past weeks, and had to admit she was right. 

"Yes, I just feel to drained, so aimless." He gave a deep sigh.

Gwen thought she could have given him some sound advice, but did not feel it was her place. "Listen boyo, you have friends. They may know where she is."

"You're right," he said. "I'll try them."

"I'll ring you when I'm able to work again. Is that all right, my love?" she asked.

"Yes, that's fine," he said, "and give your husband my best wishes. Oh, and by the way, you'll still be paid - I don't want you having money worries."

"You're a good man, Ged. If you don't mind me saying so, losing your hand was terrible but really it's not the end of the world. You have other talents."

"Thanks Gwen." He had that flash of resentment again, but did not show it. What did she know about losing his ability to play? 

She rang off and he resolved to ring Cheryl when he'd found some lunch. In the meantime he did not want to be disturbed and disconnected the land line phone and turned off his mobile. As it happened he forgot to re-connect any of it for days.

He found the final tin of baked beans in the pantry and blessed the electric can opener as it whirred and removed the lid for him. He poured the contents into a small pan and lit the hob. He let it cook for five minutes, which allowed some of the beans to disintegrate and stick to the bottom of the pan where they burned slightly. He turned off the gas, took a dessert spoon and ate the beans out of the pan as it sat on the hob.

One thing of which he had got the hang, was making tea one handed. He sat at the table and drank it. Time to ring Cheryl. He picked up the phone, forgetting he had disconnected it.

At that moment the front door bell rang, as if it had waited for him to decide to use the phone.

Fuck! he thought. Who's this at three in the afternoon?

He was tempted to leave the door unanswered, but somehow the conversation with Gwen gave him a feeling that he would feel guilty if he didn't answer it. He trudged to the front door and opened it.

"Does Gerald Smith live here, bearded man?"

"Mother!"

"Hello Son! Give us a hug!"

-- 

Chapter Forty Six

"Hi, Mum, Dad," Cassie said, hugging her mother and then her father. It felt good to hug and have the hug returned. She had felt guilty all the way home at leaving Ged, but now knew she had done the right thing.

"Where's Ged?" came the inevitable question.

"In his house," she answered. "I had to get out for a while; I need a break."

They looked at her, and she knew she had to say more. Marie came downstairs and crept into the room.

"He's deeply depressed. We were doing all right until they took the plaster off his right hand. I kept his spirits up until his therapy ended and it was obvious he would never have anything like full use of that hand. The left is good as new really, but the right is never going to be of much use.




Music Man Pt. 07



"He lived for his music, and now he can't play. It's devastated him. He doesn't talk to me, he won't go out, he does nothing all day but read and sleep. I've tried everything but nothing seems to work.

"I can't go on without a break." She sighed and sagged into the chair.

"Don't tell me you've left him?" asked Marie, looking distressed.

"No," Cassie assured her. "I just need a break to recharge my batteries. Perhaps get some fresh ideas."

"Does he know that?" asked her father.

"Dad, I've no idea how much of what I tell him goes in. He doesn't really react or answer me."

"Shall I ring him?" asked Marie. "He'll talk to me. I know he will."

"If you want to," said Cassie. "Can't hurt. Do it about six. He's normally awake then."

"You do look really tired and drawn, my darling," her mother said, all concern for her daughter's health. "It's lovely to have you here. Perhaps Marie can persuade him to come as well?"

"I think there's little chance of that," Cassie said despondently. "He won't leave the house."

Marie tried to ring Ged, but it rang and then the answer phone told him he was not available. There was no invitation to leave a message. She tried every day for four days, but the result was the same, so she gave up.



Music Man Pt. 08



Chapter Forty Six 

"Well? Aren't you going to ask me in?" Ged's mother asked him with a grin. How he loved that grin!

"Er, yes, Mum, come in," Ged's brain was trying to keep up and failing.

"That hug?"

They hugged. Whenever he hugged his mother he felt at peace, secure, at home.

"Will you bring my case in from the car, please?" she said as she separated and passed him, making for the kitchen and the kettle for tea.

He stood looking after her, his mouth open.

"Close your mouth dear," she said, looking over her shoulder as she went, "You'll catch flies."

He smiled in spite of himself: it was one of her sayings. He felt he should stay with her and he watched as she navigated her way round the kitchen as if it were her own. Then he noticed, as if for the first time, the pile of unwashed pots in the sink and felt guilty, as if he'd let her down.

She did not advert to it, but made the tea and brought him a mug, gesturing for him to sit at the kitchen table.

"Are you staying?" he asked after they had taken their first sip of the hot brew.

"For a while," she said. "If you get my case. Gwen's husband is ill and Cassie is having a well earned rest. You've really put her through it, you know? I knew there was trouble when you didn't ring me, but Cassie did."

Now he felt really guilty as it came home to him with clarity what he'd been doing to Cassie, and how heroically she'd borne it. Then he realised that Cassie must have been phoning her often, no doubt for moral support. He did not feel upset at that, or annoyed: it was what she needed. 

He said nothing but smiled with embarrassment at his mother, who could always read him. 

She nodded. "Show me," she said, and he knew what she wanted. He laid both hands on the table, palms down. 

Her face became stony, and he knew how deeply the sight hurt her. This was her son, and it was flesh of her own flesh that was mangled. She took his hands and kissed them both. He knew it was her sign that she would give anything to take his disability on herself. How did she manage to convey so much and so deeply? He felt overcome by her love.

"We'll have a little chat later," she said, and he remembered her 'little chats' from his childhood. They were mainly her monologues interspersed with Ged saying 'Yes Mum' at appropriate intervals. "Before that, I think we ought to sort this kitchen out, don't you?"

There was only one answer required, namely, 'Yes Mum', and Ged duly gave it.

"Right," she said. "Do you want to wash or dry?"

"Mum, my hands..."

"What about them? Have you tried to wash up?"

"Well, no, but--"

"Come on Son," she said. "Try. See what you can do."

"I don't think I can hold a plate and dry it, so I'd better try washing."

He did, and found a way of holding a plate with his right hand fingers and thumb, standing it on edge in the washing up bowl, and cleaning it with his left. He discovered that he had more trouble using his left hand to wash the plates than he had holding the plates with his disabled right, because he was so very right-handed.

He found he could support mugs against the bowl while he washed them. He began to feel excited. Then he remembered.

"Mother?" he said with reproof in his voice.

"Yes, dear?" So innocent!

"There is a dishwasher."

"Yes -- you!" A little laugh.

"No, I mean--"

"I'm perfectly aware there is such an appliance, my darling, but this is about you using those hands."

"You mean you knew about it?"

"Of course," she said patiently. "I have been here before, or don't you remember?"

Of course he remembered, but he was not often in the kitchen, being busy with his music, or being unable to use his hands. 

Then he was distracted by trying to find a way to wash the cutlery. Again he managed to hold each knife, fork or spoon, stuffing the handle between his palm and clenched ring and little fingers and holding the article in his index finger and thumb, but using the left hand was the difficult thing.

Afterwards, she casually asked him to put the kettle to boil, which he managed without difficulty: he'd been making tea for three days. His mother made the tea, while after a second request from her, he went and got her case from her car. 

Once again he needed to think through how to do it and grabbed the case with his left hand, while shutting the car door with the flat (such as it was) of his right. He carried it up to the en suite "best' guest bedroom, which Cassie had been using, and was thankful the bed was already made up. Cassie must have done it, ready for his mother. 

"It'll need airing," she said from behind him. "Pull the bedclothes to the foot of the bed, the radiators will do the rest."

Again he did as she asked and pulled the duvet back to expose the bottom sheet, using his left hand. Then he went down to the living room. She followed after some minutes.

"Gerald!" she said, and he knew he was in trouble. "When was the last time you changed your bedding?"

She had been in his room.

He was tempted to say he couldn't remember, since either Gwen or Cassie did that job for him, but thought better of it. 

"I don't know, Mum," he said. "Cassie or Gwen does it usually."

"We'll have a cup of tea and then we'll change your bed," and she went off to pour it.

She asked after his friends by name, and he was forced to give non-committal answers, because he didn't know. 

She nodded, and he knew she was really learning about his state of mind. Somehow, again he didn't mind, and wondered why that was. 

She asked about his song writing and he was forced to tell her he was not writing any more. She did not ask why, and he knew she knew why. 

After the tea, she took him upstairs and extracted a bedding set from the chest of drawers in his room. 

"You strip the bed while I visit the loo," she told him. "Won't be long."

He found he could unbutton the duvet but couldn't work out how to remove the cover easily. He went to the bottom fitted sheet and easily stripped that. Then he turned to the pillows, taking the pillow cases in his teeth and pulling the pillow clear. He felt a surge of success and, encouraged, went back to the duvet. He pinched the corner of the cover with his right index finger and thumb, while pulling on the duvet with his left. It took a long time, going from side to side, but eventually he cleared the cover.

His mother returned and smiled. "Oh, you've done it all!" she exclaimed and gathered the washing together. "We'll let everything air and get these things in the wash." then she left the room and went downstairs. 

Ged sat on the stripped bed, all his own work! It felt good. He stood and went downstairs.

His mother was now making coffee! He could hear the washing machine in the utility room.

"Sit down, Ged," she said. "It'll be ready in a minute."

He sat, she served him his mug and some biscuits she'd brought with her. He noticed a sheet of A4 paper and a pen on the table and wondered what she was going to write.

She pushed the biscuits towards him. 

"Go on," she said with what in other circumstances would be a seductive smile. "Half-covered chocolate digestives, your favourite."

He took a couple and bit into one, and sighed with pleasure. He was still trying to keep up with the pace of life since his mother had arrived, but found he was enjoying the wild ride.

She let him finish the biscuit and take a drink of the coffee. Why did her coffee taste so much better than his? Then she began to speak, reaching for his hands and taking them in hers.

"My dear darling son, it's time for a little chat. You've been very depressed, Cassie's at the end of her tether worried about you, and worn out running round after you, that's why she's gone -- to save her own mental health, and that's why I've arrived.

"Now, you've suffered a loss. It's very serious, I know that." She stopped, stroking his right hand and waiting for him to reply.

"I've lost everything, Mum." He raised his right hand. "I mean, look at it. There's nothing--"

"You're not the only one who's lost everything, you know," she cut in; she was gentle in her reproof.

He was about to interrupt that it didn't help that other people were suffering as well, when he saw the suffering on her face. It was as if a mask had fallen from it, and it upset him deeply. He knew then what she meant. 

"You mean you miss Dad, don't you?"

"Charlie died too young," she said, monotone. "Fifty-five is no age. He was my life Gerald, my whole life. Thirty years of total bliss, and then it was all gone in a few weeks, and I've got another possible thirty or more years to live through without him. 

"I never realised how much he did for me. Things I took for granted -- oh, I knew he did them, and I thought I appreciated them, but now it's really hit me how much of the strain of life he took off me; how much he loved me practically."

She stopped, her eyes brimming with tears, and he did not know what to say. She looked him in the eye.

"But you..." he blurted out and then stopped, uncertain as to what to say.

"But I?" she asked with a twinkle in her brimming eye and a smile. "But it doesn't seem to have affected me? I cry alone, Son. I cry often, but I have to handle it. So do you. You're an unfair weight on that poor girl, so let's start. 

"You're grieving. There's nothing wrong with that, but you don't seem to be aware of the suffering you're causing. You still need to consider others even when you hurt, and especially Cassie. What have you been doing to help her, to show her your love? She's shown you enough; she's certainly done enough."

He had nothing to say. He felt wretched. He would not have taken that rebuke from anyone else but her. Then he let it out.

"My music is my life, Mum, and it's all gone. I can't play keyboard, or guitar. I'm stuck with this useless hand. I can't do anything. I'm useless."

"Not true, my darling," she said with a grin, the one he loved, the one that said she'd pulled a fast one. She pushed on before he could protest. "You have carried my bag to my room, done the washing up and stripped your bed. Or did the fairies come in and do it for you?"

Another of her lovely sayings. 'I suppose you're waiting for the fairies to do it for you.' 

"And I'll bet you felt good about it," she added, looking triumphant. "I moved too fast for you to think, and you did it all before you could tell yourself you couldn't do it."

He loved her smugness and smiled in spite of himself. "But it was hard, Mum."

"I didn't say it was easy, son. It took all my will-power not to come and help you with that bed."

"You mean you were watching me all the time?" 

"Of course I was. Now, I think it's time to try and get your head on straight."

There she went again. 'Get your head on straight.' She'd say it when he'd done something stupid or was confused about something. 'Come on darling, let's get your head on straight.' 

He began to feel comfortable and secure in his mother's love, and did not dread what she was going to make him do next: she would never ask the impossible. Then she asked it, and he thought it was impossible.

"I want you to divide this paper into two columns. In the left column write all the good things in your life. You've been so wrapped up in the bad that's happened it'll take some time. In the other column you can write the bad things."

He became exasperated: she'd forgotten his right hand was useless. "Mother, I can't hold a pen firmly enough in my right hand. It won't work, the fingers are too weak. I can't write."

"Yes you can dear: you can write with your left."

"I can't write left-handed! It'll just be a scrawl."

"Ged, sweetheart, you'll have to learn; practise. You can do it. It'll take time and effort. Let me tell you about grandma Pierce. She was left handed. You know what they did to her in school? They tied her left hand to her chair behind her so she couldn't use it, and made her use her right."

"But I remember, she wrote with her right, and her writing was beautiful."

"It cost her a lot of pain in school. The teachers would rap her left hand with a ruler if she tried to use it. After that she was always ambidextrous. You can't use your right any more for writing, so learn to use your left. It'll be hard and painstaking, but you can do it. 

"When you were doing your piano grades, didn't you have to do extra exercises for your left hand?"

"Yes, it was murder to get the speed, and an even rhythm."

"Why? Because your left hand is not as strong as your right: because you hardly use it. This is the same. Exercise.

"Look, today I set you tasks and you learned to do them with what you have, not with what you haven't. You've got to start thinking how you'll get round your problems rather than bewailing the fact you can't do things as you did. You've got to get that 'can do' mental attitude. See?"

"Like you are trying to live without Dad?"

"Exactly! And let me tell you, it's not easy but I won't let it beat me. I know I'll never get over losing him, but I've got to get on and live with it. Every morning it's an effort to get out of bed, and face another day without him. I have to find reasons to get up. At the moment, you're going to be the reason. You too: you'll always miss your right hand."

Her words and her attitude to life buoyed him up and he began to feel hopeful. It came to him that he hadn't felt so positive since long before the attack. He wondered if it would last.

She left the table and began to clean the kitchen, leaving him to his writing. She was right, it was painful and exasperating, but her resolve had rubbed off on him and he persevered. An hour later there was a scrawled, barely legible list in the left column, and he threw down the pen and sat back.

She came over and looked over the 'good' list. At the top he'd written 'Mum'.

"Aw!" she said and hugged him. The rest of the list was predictable: Cassie, friends, folk group, music, Cassie's piano, poetry, Frobishers, Marie, Cassie's parents, Catherine Styles, Karin, books, garden. 

"What about your eyesight, your hearing, your voice, your ability to walk, to think; what about your health, fitness and strength -- apart from your hands?" she asked.

He had not thought of that. "Yes," he said. "I've been concentrating too much on my hands."

"One on the negative side," she said. "You only put 'ZAK' in capitals."

"Everything bad that's happened is down to him," Ged said grimly. "Unless you include that other bastard -- the one who got Cassie pregnant."

"What?" his mother gasped. "When? While you were abroad?"

"No," he said, and told her the story.

She said nothing in response, her face grim, but then, instead of a comment she said "Time to make dinner."

"You have a choice," she said. "You can help me get dinner ready, or you can go to the music room which you haven't visited for a while, I believe," she said shooting him an accusing look, "and play either with the computer or the instruments. See what you can do, rather than what you can't." 

She stopped and looked at him. "Well?" she asked. "Which?"

"Music room," he said.

"Thought you might!" he heard her knowing laugh as he went.

He looked at the room from the doorway. It threatened him. Then she was behind him again.

"It's all in your mind," she whispered in his ear. "Go and sample. I'd try the computer first, you can use that with one hand, and your right index finger. Go and look at your finances; get them up to date."

He laughed. He was beginning to enjoy his mother's directions; they relieved him of making choices of his own will, and she seemed to be making it a game, finding things with which to surprise him. She had only been in the house a few hours and he was still trying to keep up with her. 

She put her arms round him from behind and squeezed him, laying her head on his back. He felt warm and loved, which indeed he knew he was.

He was still lost in the computer when she called him for dinner. He had long since left the accounts behind, and was reading some of Cassie's poetry. It took him back to Catherine Style's place when he spent the whole night setting some of her work to music.

After dinner they sat and watched the news and then a comedy programme, when his eyelids began to droop. He was exhausted.

"Go to bed, sweetheart," she told him. "You've been busy today."

He kissed her, and she said "Good night, God bless you," as she always had. He felt snug and secure having her near, and when he got to the bedroom he found the bed remade and a fresh pair of boxers on the duvet. He smiled; he'd done a lot of smiling all day. He took his pill and fell asleep immediately.

The next few days were busy, busy, busy. She 'suggested' he make a routine of learning to write for an hour each morning. She watched him at work and advised him to turn the page clockwise 45 degrees and keep his hand below the line he was writing, so that it did not smudge or cover the word he had just written. 

"You'd be OK with Hebrew," she laughed. "They write from right to left!"

He was given the job of vacuuming all the rooms in the house, as well as the hallway, stairs and landing, followed by dusting the surfaces, and then he was 'invited' to go shopping with her, as well as washing up again and even trying to dry some things. She banished him to the music room each afternoon, but did not suggest what he should do there. 

"You haven't made your bed," she said in passing on the first morning. She did not have to make that comment a second time.

The next challenge came next morning, when she returned from somewhere.

"Ged, that beard does not suit you."

"Mother, it's one thing to learn to write with my left, but if I try to shave with it I'll cut my throat. Messy and fatal!"

"You know that's nonsense unless you use a cut-throat razor, but it's good to hear you cracking jokes," she said. "Here! I've bought you a top of the range electric shaver."

He was about to say that electric shavers didn't shave as close.

"I know they don't," she said, reading his mind, "but they shave closer than not shaving at all." This time she laughed, and pushed him to go up the stairs.

So he lost the beard. And the moustache. And found the shaver managed to shave 'quite' close.

After two more afternoons he began to sample the keyboard, and before long was recording the bass line of one of his songs, then the other accompaniment and finally adding the melody, all using his left hand. It took some mental gymnastics, but after two hours he could run the accompaniment and add the melody live. He called his mother, and showed her.

He was taken aback when he saw her tears. 

"What is it?" he asked all concern.

"Nothing," she said, sniffing. "You said you'd never play again. Now look at you!" 

He hugged her tightly to him. "It's all you," he said, with a full heart, "all you, Mum!"

On the fifth day she asked, "Does no one ever phone you?"

"Oh, bugger!" he swore.

"Gerald! Language!" but she was smiling.

"I disconnected them, and then you happened," he said, going to make the connections again.

As he switched his mobile on there was a knock at the door. He went to answer it and found Cheryl on the step. She looked scared.

"Cheryl!" he said with a wide smile. "Come in, come in!"

She looked puzzled but entered as requested, only to meet his mother emerging from the kitchen. 

"Mrs Smith!" she exclaimed. "How lovely!"

"Cheryl!" retorted his mother, bustling to her and giving her a hug. "Come through."

Cheryl looked confused, but followed Ged's mother into the living room. Ged took up the rear.

"Ged darling," said his mother, "Make some tea for us would you?"

Cheryl looked more confused as Ged cheerfully said, "OK!" and left for the kitchen.




Music Man Pt. 08



"Cassie's Marie rang," Cheryl began. "She's worried stiff 'cos she can't get through on either phone."

"Ah," said Eleanor. "He turned them off after Cassie left, and he's not had a spare minute to switch them on again. In fact he's just connected the land line this minute.

"I don't follow," puzzled Cheryl. "He wasn't doing anything before--"

"Before I arrived!" Eleanor laughed. "I've got him going. I think Cassie will be pleased."

"I'm damn sure she will be!" agreed Cheryl. "You've been keeping house for him?"

"No, he's been keeping house with me!" Eleanor giggled.

"How? I mean--"

"Mother knows," Eleanor said, tapping the side of her nose. "I do know him very well, you know, from way back -- before he was born!"

Cheryl laughed.

"Tea!" said Ged, carrying a tray with a teapot, milk, sugar, three cups and saucers, side plates and biscuits. He had experimented at length and supported the tray on his right hand with a thumb hooked over one side and grasping it firmly on the other side with his left. He placed it on the coffee table and Eleanor unpacked it.

"That was clever," said Cheryl with admiration. "It's wonderful how you're coping."

"All mother's work," said Ged, laying an affectionate (right) hand on his mother's shoulder. "She's a real slave driver."

"Cassie's Marie is very worried," Cheryl said. "She tried to phone you."

"My fault," said Ged. "I've reconnected everything again now. "I'll phone her back." 

"No Ged, sit down and entertain your guest, I'll phone and tell her you're fine. I don't want you to phone just yet -- I've not finished with your training!"

"But I want to tell her how--"

"You can tell her when I've finished with you." Her voice took on a pleading tone. "Please, Ged, trust me on this."

He slumped. "OK," he said. "You're clearly in charge. How long will this training take?"

"Another week or so," she said. "Please, Ged?"

Cheryl promised not to spoil the surprise, and he showed her what he'd done on the keyboard. She left with hope that the worst was over.

The following week, his mother pushed him further.

"I think it would do you good if you went jogging in the mornings before breakfast," she told him. "You need to get your stamina up, and your gym equipment will only do so much with only one hand. How about it?"

So began a new regime, and it brought it home to him how unfit he was. By the end of the week, he was able to run further and for longer.

As if that were not enough, she now engaged him in cookery. She had bought an array of kitchen tools for people with disabled hands, and together they worked out how he could master them. He remembered how he used to do his fair share of meal preparation, and began to enjoy his return to it.

His days were now so full he had no time to ponder over his progress, and with the intensity of his activity came optimism and hope. 

At the end of the third week, she called him to the living room. He wondered what new torture she had devised. She saw his face and laughed.

"I think you've got the hang of things now," she said. "So I'll be leaving early next week. I think you're ready to see Cassie again, don't you? You'll have a lot to tell her."

"I'll phone her," he suggested. "It's been a long time. I thought she'd be back home by now."

"Can I make a suggestion?" his mother asked.

"Of course, you're the one who's pulled me out of that hole I was living in."

"Go down there to her parents' place. They haven't seen you for a long time and even then it was not pleasant. Surprise her."

"I can't just drop in on them without warning, Mum."

"Let me sort it out. How about you go by train? You're still not really fit enough to drive all that way. I can phone Cassie's mother."

The idea appealed to Ged. He'd 'written' two songs to and about Cassie, expressing his love and gratitude for all she did, using the computer. He thought he could put them together using the keyboard to provide the backing, the recording suite and an MP3 player to store the whole thing. 

"OK," he said. "I'll leave it to you."

He worked on the songs the whole weekend, and his mother smiled to herself as she heard him singing away in the music room.

--- 

"Mairead? He's gone for it. I suggested Tuesday as you asked and he seems fine with that."

"Ellie, you're a miracle worker, so you are. If you get the train time, Joe will pick him up at the station. Dollar is gong to get her out of the house."

---

Ged booked his first class train tickets that day, and his mother passed on the message. She relieved him of all his duties so he could finish his songs, and she was given a preview which reduced her to tears, so moving were the words and so wistful the music.

On Monday, she hugged and kissed him, and went back home, his thanks ringing in her ears, and a satisfied, nay, smug smile on her face.

----

Chapter Forty Seven

It was on the train that he began to have mixed feelings about the trip. He remembered his last meeting with Cassie at the house, and for the life of him he could not remember exactly what she had said to him when she left three weeks before. He thought she said she needed a break; he hoped so. Then he remembered her previous response to his effective proposal of making their relationship permanent, and her reluctance to commit. 

Then he realised that it was his mother and Cassie's that had arranged this between them and he kicked himself for not taking charge and phoning Cassie. Now he felt he had to go along with their plan, and trust them. After all, he thought, his mother had turned him round. Eventually he mentally shrugged: it was too late to change anything now.

He emerged from the station, rucksack on his back and pulling his suitcase behind him. It had been a rite of passage dealing with his baggage on the train with one effective hand. He now made for the taxi rank, with its row of waiting cabs. 

"Ged!" 

The shout came from the car park, and turning he saw Joe, Cassie's father, waving at him with a wide smile on his face. He duly turned and made for Joe's car. 

Joe held out his hand for a handshake, and Ged was non-plussed. This was the first person who had held out a hand for a handshake. After the momentary hesitation he offered his left, and shook backhand. Joe's face creased with compassion and a touch of anger. 

"Sorry Ged," he said. "It really comes home when you see what those bastards did."

"Thanks, Joe. There's little pain now, and I'm learning to live with it."

They were driving to the house when Joe brought the matter that had festered in his mind for months.

"I don't know how to thank you for what you did for us, You saved our lives, and I don't know how we can ever repay you."

Ged had been ready for this: he knew Joe's pride. 

"Joe, there are two things you should know about that. One, you have already given me more than I'll ever have in the bank: you've brought Cassie into the world. Two, when we get to the house I'll show you something on my laptop."

"Don't know about that, she's led you a merry dance, the silly girl. Here we are. Cassie isn't here, we thought we'd settle you in first and then get Dollar to bring her over."

He pulled the car onto the drive and took Ged's bags ahead into the house. There were Mairead and Marie waiting for Ged on the step. 

Mairead hugged him first. "At last, Ged! Welcome. We've waited to see you too long."

Marie followed, hugging him close, making sure he felt every nuance of her newly eighteen year old body. "Hi, Ged, again! I'm so excited! It's going to be ever so romantic!"

He said nothing, but smiled. Then the two females wanted to see his hands and exclaimed at the damage, and hugged him again.

"Hey," he said, feeling quite overcome. "If I get this treatment I'll get them back to do in the other hand!" 

Then disengaging, he turned to Joe, "Joe, can you go into my rucksack and get my laptop out?"

The older man did as requested, and they set it up on the wi-fi. 

"Now, Joe, these are my accounts. This is the instant access cash savings." 

The two women craned over Joe's shoulder, and there was a collective gasp when they saw the balance.

"And this is the account all my royalties go into."

Another gasp. "There are other accounts and stocks and shares investments of some more millions. I'm showing you so you can see that paying off your accounts barely made a dent in my resources. Look, I bought an eight bedroom house for myself with ready cash! 

"Please let go of any worries about paying me back. You can see I don't need any more money, but it keeps flowing in. Every time somewhere in the world someone sings one of my songs, the cash register chings. That's every day. In any case you have always been family to me.

"I would also like to sub Marie at university -- pay off her tuition and give her an allowance. She's the real heroine here: it took a lot to come to me for help."

There was silence. He saw their awe-struck faces and laughed. "I'll take that as a 'yes', then."

"Now to business," he said, hurriedly changing the subject. "Has your music player got a USB port?"

It had. He took the pen drive from his pocket and fitted it and switched on the appliance.

"This is for Cassie when she gets here. You seem to be in charge, Mairead, how are you going to organise this?"

"We'll bring her in here and then leave you two alone, will that do?"

"Very nicely."

"You have the remote for the music?" Marie asked. He had. 

"I'll phone Dollar," Mairead said.

"You're a lot better?" asked Marie.

"Yes, thanks to my mother. I was pretty low when Cassie left."

"I'm not surprised," said Mairead. "I don't know how you coped."

"To tell the truth I didn't. My mother got me out of the pit I was in. She just gave me so much to do I hadn't time to be sad, and she showed me that there was plenty I could do. She burst in suddenly one day, and I was so amazed I just did what she told me. That reminds me, I have a letter for Cassie." He reached into his jacket and brought it out.

"But you're here?" said Marie puzzled.

"It's hand written, Marie," he said gently, and he waited. 

Then she saw the point. "You wrote it with your left hand! So romantic!" and she looked at him dreamy eyed. He laughed loudly, and so did everyone else. She grinned. Then he sobered up.

"I don't think I laughed at all while Cassie was looking after me. She had a hard time, a very hard time. I really put her through it."

"Well, you're here now, and I'm sure she'll forget all about that," Mairead said, patting his shoulder. "Oh, there's the car arriving. Everybody out! Disappear!"

Ged was left alone. It was not excitement he felt, it was fear. So many times they had parted only to get their reunification wrong and end it in a shouting match.

He heard the front door opening and Mairead's voice.

"Hello Dollar. Oh Cassie, there's a visitor for you."

Then her voice. The sound of it hit like a hammer and his breathing quickened.

"Who Mum?"

"In there. Dollar, let's go and make some tea for them."

The door opened and there she stood, so beautiful he ached. She looked at him and she gaped.

"Ged? What are you doing here?"

He said nothing but stood and handed her the letter. She gave him a puzzled look and opened the envelope, dropped it on the coffee table and unfolded the letter.

The writing was not pretty: it resembled the writing of a very young child. She glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. He nodded, and she began to read.

My Dearest Cassie

I shudder with disgust when I think of how I abused you over those last weeks. All you did for me with never a thank-you from me, and never a cross word from you.

I am so sorry for being selfish and wrapped up in my own pain while ignoring yours. I understand now why you would not commit to me when I asked you before. You must have sensed how bad it would get -- how thoughtless I would be, and how eventually it would be too much for you.

I am coming to see you to tell you how much I love you, how undeserving of you I am. I'm humbly begging you to come home. I promise things have changed.

When I get to see you I have something to show you.

I love you Cassie, please come home, this time for good.

Ged.

PS I wrote this with my left hand and it took me two hours. I'm getting better at it; I practise my writing for an hour a day. Listen.

She looked up as he pressed the remote and his song of love and appreciation filled the room. Her look of surprise turned into one of amazement, as she took in first the fact that the accompaniment was so full, and that he was singing, then listened to the words. He had lost none of his poetic ability nor his skill in setting the words to music.

She knew now that something had changed radically since she left him. Then the second song was one of regret and loneliness and sounded as if he was accompanying it on the guitar until she realised it was the guitar setting on his keyboard.

When it finished, all he said was, "So sorry," and stood penitently before her. 

Her eyes filled with tears and she moved to him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him vigorously all over his face, then open mouthed on his lips pushing her tongue into his mouth. He felt her tears.

She laid her head on his chest. 

"No," she said. "It's me who's sorry. It's me who couldn't get you better, and it's me who ran away and wouldn't phone you even after I knew you had reconnected them."

"You worked so hard, my love." he said. "You waited on me, you put up with my constant silence and sullenness. You couldn't have done more."

"It wasn't enough."

"It was. Not your fault -- mine. You did all you could do."

"So was it me leaving?"

"No. A few days after you left, my mother arrived. I think you had something to do with that!" He gazed at her and she blushed.

"Ged, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't leave you all alone, with Gwen being away, but I wanted you to be alone for a little while. I hoped that would wake you up."

"Darling, it was the best thing you could have done. As a new arrival she could use a different approach. She rushed me off my feet. She asked me to bring in her bag, then to do the washing up while she dried, then strip my bed. She kept out of the way until I'd finished. After that she had one of her 'little chats'. 

"She told me how bad it had been when Dad died, and how even now she had to strive to do ordinary things. Somehow once she'd got me going, she just got me to do more and more."

"But your right ha--"

"I've had to learn that it has only a supporting rôle to help my left. Once I accepted that, I found ways of doing things. My left is still weak, but I'm working on that!"

She looked up into his eyes, reading him. "You are happier now than you were."

"That wouldn't be difficult," he said with a wry laugh.

"I love it that you're laughing again," and she resumed her kissing. 

"The songs?" she asked when she came up for air.

"Multi-tracking. Accompaniment first then the melody, finally my voice."

"I never thought you'd go near music again. I'm so happy, dear lovely Ged." She nuzzled his neck with her nose. "I wish now I'd come back home earlier."

"Why? We're together now."

"If we were back home, I would be dragging you to bed right now. As it is..."

"That's twice you've said it, you know." His gaze was intense.

"What?" She was casting about, wondering where he was going with this.

" 'Home'. You said 'home'. Does this mean...?" He stopped, hoping to lead her on.

She smiled. "You remember what you asked of me when you got your left hand back?"

"Yes," he said, knowing now she was on the right track. "You turned me down."

"Not exactly, but I said there was something stopping me. I don't feel that any more."

"So you'll--"

"No, I won't." She took a breath. "You have to ask me the right question. Go on, but get it right." Her eyes were shining and challenging, and her smile was wide.

Ged thought for a moment, was she asking what he thought she was asking? He decided she was getting away with it too easily. He needed to correct things a little.

"The question I want to ask..." he paused.

"Yes?" she asked eagerly.

"That question -- the one I asked before the tour..." another pause.

"Yes, yes?" she was jigging up and down.

"You said 'yes' then as well," he said. 

Her grin got wider still. "So?" 

"I never took that question back," he said. He looked at her seriously and she got the message.

She stopped grinning and looked guilty. Nothing said.

"I said I never took it back, my love; I never have," he repeated. He stopped again, trying to repress a smile. 

She understood. "It was me. I went and married someone else."

He nodded. And waited.

Cassie stood before him, tables turned, undecided what to do. Then she realised.

She knelt before him, both knees. 

NO! She did not unzip his pants. Get a grip! Talking of getting a grip, she took his hands in hers.

"Gerald Smith, you are my only true love, and I let you down. I betrayed your love and failed you. I don't deserve anything from you but I need you. Please, will you not just live with me. Will you marry me?"

He pulled her to her feet. "You've done enough for me and vastly more than I deserve. Yes, let's get married as we always should have done. Let's have lots of children."

"Yes, oh yes," she said eagerly looking into his eyes. "We probably will, since I'm off the pill now and have been for a while!"

"One thing though," he growled.

"What is it?" she asked, briefly worried.

"We are not calling our kids stupid names, like some of those other 'entertainers' do!"

"You mean we can't call them after the place where they were conceived?"

"No!"

"Aw! Or what the weather was like?"

"Definitely not -- anyway they'd all be called 'variable cloud', or 'rain', or 'drizzle'. You wouldn't call your child 'drizzle' would you?"

"Well perhaps not," she giggled and gazed up into his eyes. "I love you so much."

"I know. No one else would have stayed with me as long as you did over those long weeks. No one else would have come running to the hospital to save me."

"Kiss me," she said, reaching up.

"OK."

It was a long and intensive kiss, and he felt her tears, and pulled away, worried.

"All those weeks," she said plaintively, "I was longing for your lovely kisses, and they'd gone. You were there, but in a way you'd left me. It hurt so much, Ged."

"I'm sorry," he said, "but you stuck by me when there was nothing in it for you at all."

"You know what kept me going?" she asked. looking up into his eyes. "I made that first promise and broke it and it caused us to part. Now we were together again, and I was damned if I was going to cause another break. I would stick with it this time. But then..."

"Then?"

"I left you and ran home."

"Cassie, you were exhausted, and getting no relief. Don't start beating yourself up about that as well. In fact stop beating yourself up about any of it. We... Are... Together... Now, and always will be."

"Yes, my love, if you say so."

They called in the family and announced their engagement, and the family were delighted, nay ecstatic. They phoned Ged's mother and she rejoiced with them and, it seemed, was already on her way to join them for Christmas. 

They did get out the Cava and celebrate with bubbly. The only complaint came from Marie who asserted that she'd rather hoped she'd have taken Cassie's place. Everyone laughed including Marie, though Ged, Cassie and she knew it had an element of truth about it.

Keeping the positive atmosphere after so much angst, the pair went to bed together that night rather the worse for drink. With some falling about and giggling they undressed each other, made it obvious they admired each other au naturel, fell untidily into bed together and began to make love. It was while they were caressing each other in preparation, that they both fell asleep.




Music Man Pt. 08



However the next morning they finished what they had started and intertwined and interpenetrated, bounced around and reached release and resolution, looking deep into each other's eyes, keeping as quiet as they could and failing dismally. It so happened that Joseph Charles Smith was conceived on that morning from their loving and energetic union. 

(Later, Ged thought the 'accident' of the conception reflected their trials and their resolution: Cassie had come off the pill when Ged lost interest in her, weeks before, so little Joe might not have arrived if the nadir of their troubles had not been reached). 

Christmas was wonderful, with Eleanor Smith in attendance. It was rushed, but Cassie and Ged shopped frantically in the few days available and managed to find presents for everyone. 

For New Year, Ged and Cassie entertained everyone at their home, and Karin arrived with her new boyfriend to help prepare the place for the party, as she had once before.

Ged became a little stupid and engaged a firework company to provide a lengthy and exhilarating display when the hour struck. The neighbours were also delighted, having been warned and invited, in advance.

In January, Zak was tried on a number of counts, the most serious being 'Wounding or Inflicting Grievous Bodily Harm with intent'. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to twelve years in prison, of which they knew he would serve eight or even less if he behaved himself. No one needed to give evidence. Lee and a man called Kyle (whom neither Cassie nor Ged knew but was apparently Lee's mate), were sentenced to five years each.

Cassie required nothing from Zak in the divorce. She simply wanted to repudiate him. Ged also gave up the action against Zak, thinking that eight years' prison made the point, and having him homeless when he emerged would not serve any useful purpose. Money and possessions were irrelevant when one had a bank account the size of Ged's.

Their wedding was simple and at the same church in which she'd 'married' Zak. The marriage of Zak and Cassie had been annulled by the Church after the civil divorce was absolute. Ged paid for the whole celebration. 

Cassie wore white. As she said, this was her first marriage, the other with Zak had been a sham. The Church had made that official: there had been no marriage to Zak because of his deception.

Cassie and Ged join and perform with the folk group and sometimes visit Gerard Frobisher. Furtive Glance had long since disbanded, though Ged sometimes uses Peter or Joshua from the band when recording his work. Amos left the country for parts unknown.

There are now two children in the Smith house, Maria Cassandra following her brother two years later. Cassie and Ged are very busy coping with two small children, and are looking forward to more children in due course, feeling at last settled and content. 

About time they got a break! Many of their friends and family agreed and made a wish: May they make sweet music for years to come!

END