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Jimmy Palin You Asshole

By: Egmont Grigor



CHAPTER 1

Jimmy Palin left the bus at the smallish city with the name that appealed to him. Jimmy was still smarting from being kicked out of home. His dad Paul, an attorney, had been grumpy ever since Jimmy decided not to return to college for his second year and now at twenty-two and having dabbled in the job market for two years he'd almost doubled his age in salary and commission selling pre-owned cars when disaster struck.

Reading in bed on Saturday morning, Jimmy had been disturbed by his sister Flo. She was twenty-eight and had just lost her live-in boyfriend who dropped her because he was fed-up with her diet regime that had left her skinny and lethargic. She'd taken her brother completely by surprise.

"Lick me Jimmy," she whined dripping something on the page of his book and holding her nightie hem up to her waist.

At first he thought he wouldn't because she really was not much more than skin and bone. But with her freshly shaven pussy almost touching his nose Jimmy's brain put the primeval call above commonsense and his tongue flicked out and caught another forming drop ready to drip.

It tasted premium quality, right up with that stuck-up bitch Roselyn, his boss's wife, who'd twice dragged Jimmy into unisex toilet and made him go down on her, not that Jimmy had offered any resistance. He wondered how his mom's pussy juice would compare with Roselyn and Flo's?

Jimmy was then wondering where he'd gotten to with his book and was half-listening to Flo saying what a darling boy he was when the slut creamed his face. Riled, he slung Flo on to the bed and pulled off his briefs. Her eyes bulged and she said, "Jeepers, when did that grow that big?" He guessed he could have said he pulled it through a training regime every night and morning so what did she expect? But why bother and risk opprobrious comment?

Five minutes later he was sweating, practically driving Flo through the headboard, when he heard his mom Lisa scream and that drove him into premature ejaculation. 

"Oh god, what are you two doing?"

As if she didn't know. 

The upshot was he was given two hours to leave home and his father, holding a baseball bat in a tight grip, choked, "Leave town you filthy little bastard." That was inappropriate use of the word 'little' because blond Jimmy was four inches taller than his dad. 

Flo cried when Jimmy was told to leave home forever but smiled gratefully later when Jimmy whispered if she couldn't bed down with a permanent dick he'd come back to town once a month to service her.

Jimmy stayed with his best mate for a month because he was required to give a month's notice at the yard to receive his entitlements. But the bitch Roselyn, who was admin manager, refused to accept Jimmy's resignation unless he fucked her. He did that in her husband's office every Monday until he left town while the boss was at the weekly luncheon meeting of the Raffles Rotary Club. Roselyn had some reason for doing it on that particular sofa but wouldn't tell Jimmy why. He guessed it was the sofa used by the boss to fuck his PA.

Tired after traveling for eight hours on a bumpy bus, Jimmy didn't like the look of Lookout Hill City but then again the bumps had temporarily pulverized his brain and so he decided to make a more informed assessment in the morning. He looked at the notice board in the bus station, thinking he'd try private home full board. All seventeen cards offering such accommodation sought 'a quiet young woman'. He smiled thinking they'd be out of luck because in his experience quiet young women were as rare as quiet older women who ran their sons out of the family home. He took a card and called one of the women offering accommodation.

"Yeah, what do you want? We're not buying?"

"I'm inquiring about the room to rent."

"I'll get the wife."

Jimmy scratched his balls while waiting.

"Yes?"

"I'm inquiring about the room to rent."

There was a pause. "You're not a quiet young woman."

"That's true, but you haven't been able to rent your room have you because they interview as noisy young bitches?"

"You horrible man," she screamed, cutting the call.

Something told Jimmy he'd not handled that call very well.

A charming sounding women said, "Victoria Street speaking."

"May I call you Vicki?"

"If you must."

"Thank you. Although I'm not a quiet young girl I am a quiet young man who can pay the required rent by automatic transfer from my account into your account."

"Why are you calling?"

Jimmy knew one of the ways to fool a woman was to lie. "Because I'm in need of a room and sympathy. My mom has run me out of town because I caught her and her clergyman doing something unspeakable."

"Ohmigod, oh you poor darling. Here's our address. Come at once."

Jimmy found the house and just as the woman said it was a fashionable street, but a woman called Victoria would use such a description, wouldn't she?

The first thing Jimmy noticed about Victoria when she opened the door was her tits. They were pretty big.

"Oh Mr Palin, you poor young man. Here let me give you a big hug."

The tits were pretty soft too.

"You hug beautifully Vicki."

"Oh darling," she cooed, "Aren't you a gentleman?"

Her eyes drifted to his crotch.

Never having been called a gentleman, Jimmy was chuffed but knew he wouldn't consistently live up to that title. Still he knew women liked to be deluded in their dealings with men. He'd proved that to his satisfaction by selling a V8 turbo sedan to a little old lady and a twin turbo pickup to a female school principal. He'd said to both customers confidently that other people really didn't notice what kind of vehicle you drove and these days all vehicles were dead easy to drive. He made it clear his choice of vehicle for them was linked to their personalities and practical needs. That taught Jimmy that look any woman in the eye and talk confidently and they'll believe you because that what their mom had taught them to do.

A room? It was as grand as a hotel room with en suite. Victoria intoned out of habit: "Please leave your stockings, panties and bra to drip-dry over the bath by all means. I encourage good hygiene and cleanliness."

That left Jimmy being not quite sure about Vicki. Was she attempting to delude him into thinking he was something he wasn't?

"How old are you Jimmy?"

Thinking she was making sure he wasn't a minor before practicing her deviant sexual ways with him, Jimmy said cautiously, "My voice has dropped." 

Vicki laughed as if he had world-class humor. And then, "No silly boy. I'm wondering which daughter I can match you up with. They are eighteen, twenty and twenty-four."

"I'm twenty-two. May I try all three?"

"No Jimmy. Although we are a liberal family we do stop short of groupies."

Jimmy winched his jaw back into place. "No Vicki. I mean as dates. Um may I also date you without your husband knowing? You do have a husband don't you?"

"I certainly do but he's rather lost interest in me."

"Oh you poor darling. That's so typical of men, isn't it? Is he rutting his PA?"

"Probably Jimmy but I think it's just pussy fatigue."

"What do you mean? Does he run a brothel?"

Victoria giggled, "Oh no you bozo, Harry is a gynecologist."

Jimmy scratched his left ear. "I don't understand this. Why do you need to let a room when your Harry is a gynecologist? They are near the top of the money-earning tree, just edging ahead of plumbers?"

"Harry has worked it out as a tax dodge. We donate the weekly rental to the mayor's charity fund and Harry can claim those contribution as a tax deduction and receives community kudos for being the biggest private contributor to that worthy cause."

"That's deviously brilliant Vicki. Oh, while I'm thinking about it, what's Harry's attitude to gynecologist jokes?"

"Stoic boredom I should think: he's heard every one a thousand times, particularly the one about the gynecologist and the dumb blonde and the gynecologist having the skill to paint an entire house simply by reaching though the front letter box of the locked house. I would appreciate it Jimmy if you would tell him jokes about what wives do who are not getting enough at home."

"I'll try but I don't think guys invent jokes on that particular topic because it's rather close to the bone... er boner."

Victoria laughed hysterically, pulling Jimmy's head between her heaving breasts.

Just at that moment the eighteen-year-old who Jimmy would later find was called Mia arrived home from high school.

"Mother, what are you doing... starting a lesbian affair with the new roomer?"

"Appearances are deceptive darling," Victoria said, unhanding the longhair Jimmy.

"Ohmigod mister, you look in great shape. May I inspect your abs?" Mia cried flirtatiously and didn't wait for Jimmy to refuse. She ripped up the bottom of his shirt with the experience of a high school whore and took in the six-pack. Eyes bulging she repeated herself, "Ohmigod mister," and ran off muttering that she had to change her panties. Her mother called, "Don't overdo it Mia – use Gentle Annie."

"Mother!" cried the twenty-year old, entering the room to find Victoria had pulled up Jimmy's shirt and was groping his Abs. "Go to your room!"

"Yes Charlotte," Victoria said, sloping off.

"Hi, I guess you are the new roomer?"

"Yes."

"But not female?"

"Absolutely not."

"Give me a look at them."

"What?"

"Your references man; are you stupid?"

"No but probably unlucky. I don't have references."

Charlotte sighed, "Oh god, mom is so irresponsible. Dad made the rules: the guest bedroom may only be rented to quiet young women with immaculate references and then only one at the time."

"So your mother's in breach. Does that mean I must go?"

"Heavens no. Dad will probably decree mom must go."

Instinctively using a spare piece of intellect, Jimmy said, "Is your father homosexual?"

"We have our suspicions he's becoming gay, being over-exposed to too much pussy. But how did you know?"

"You made it sound he was looking for an opening to toss your mother from her home."

"God mister, you're a genius. I'm Charlotte and you are...?"

"Jimmy."

"Oh what a gorgeously modern name. You'll have no idea how people remember my name do you?" asked 'Charlotte the Harlot'.

"Check back on the latest email received from you?"

"Oh you darling Jimmy," Charlotte said, kissing him and squeezing his testicles just as a grumpy looking guy with a sour mouth roughly pussy-shaped entered the room and said, "If you are thinking of fucking my daughter young man would you please wait until Charlotte has cooked our dinner."

"Yes sir. I'm Jimmy the new roomer."

"You don't quite fit the profile of a quiet young woman?"

"That makes you impressively astute sir and possessing some professional expertise that would allow you to complete that fifteen-second assessment with 100% accuracy."

"Ohmigod young man. With your gift of extraordinarily quick and accurate assessment you must be involved in selling automobiles."

Jimmy looked at gynecologist Harry Street in awe, unaware wife Victoria had called him when Harry was minutes away from arriving home, disclosing she'd taken in a bright young man as a roomer who'd been thrown out of town by his conniving, adulterous mother and lost his job as a car salesman in the process.

"I am indeed impressed Jimmy. May I offer you a position as my personal assistant, loosening up my patients so they are open for immediate inspection?"

Jimmy's mind reeled, filled by the images of a thousand pussies, most of them hairy. The head of his cock pulsated like a tom-tom drum heard from the depths of a jungle. He fainted, bashing his head on the brass-framed coffee table as he fell.

Harry looked in panic at Charlotte. "Ohmigod, he's in a position to sue me for a couple of million."

"If he finds out you're a gynecologist daddy he'll sue for two billion. But if we are clever enough it will not come to that."

"What do you mean?"

The young law student smiled and began working on her action plan of deception.

"What does a lawyer do to a female client that a gynecologist won't daddy?"

Harry groaned and said, "Screw her."

"Exactly daddy, and that's why I'm in charge of this deception. You may reward yourself with me in the basement if I pull this off, no limit on the number of orgasms you give me."

"God Charlotte," Harry said in awe. "You are such a bitch."

Third sister Veronica arrived home just in time to help Charlotte and Harry set up for Jimmy's awakening. Harry fetched the sexy nurse uniform from his collection in the basement.

* * *

Jimmy's eyes fluttered open. Charlotte and Veronica looked into the deep blue and still vacant eyes and both came close to orgasms at the rare opportunity at seeing a guy so vulnerable.

"Go," Veronica whispered, and Charlotte left the bedroom.

"Hello darling," Veronica said, leaning over her 'patient'.

There was a lack of comprehension in the eyes of Jimmy because he thought he'd died and was looking at a vision. The swell of her mostly exposed tits almost engulfed his senses.

"Jimmy, I'm Nurse Veronica."

He whispered something and Veronica leaned over him, her perfume intoxicating, and she heard the whisper, "Stand back so I can take a good look at you."

Veronica stood back, smiling.

Jimmy's vision had a straining uniform top holding in two rounded breasts that he'd be lucky to cup one of them fully even using both hands. The tummy appeared taut and the dress hem stopped just below the hips, the curve of the panty-covered pussy clearly in sight.

Jimmy's cock sprang to attention, not that Nurse Veronica was aware of his disgusting response.

The black fine denier hold-ups encased incredibly long legs, initiating an involuntary stroking action from Jimmy on a certain member of his frame.

Nurse Veronica was so utterly gorgeous that he could weep. So he wept.

"Oh Jimmy, oh Jimmy. My poor darling. What can I do for you?"

"N-n-nothing," he swallowed, uncertainly, which for Jimmy that was incredibly wimpy.

"Ah, here's something I can do, Nurse Veronica said, slipping her blood-red lips around an object to which she was irresistibly drawn.

Jimmy gurgled and Veronica pulled out a tit for him to fondle.

Later Veronica came up, dripping from the corners of her fat smile and she straddled Jimmy, facing him, and he watched her fat pussy lips close around his wet dick and pan-handled both sides of her ass to control both height and tempo.

Sweating, Veronica left.

To be replaced by Charlotte.

Sweating, Charlotte left.

To be replaced by Mia who was so tight she had Jimmy gasping.

Before Mia left, sweating but looking as if all her birthdays had come at once, she opened all the windows to freshen the room and told Jimmy to shower and then come to dinner.

Jimmy entered the dining room and Harry rolled his eyes and said "Jesus." He muttered to Nurse Veronica, now in home clothes, that Jimmy looked worse that when he'd been unconscious.

He's been practically unconscious several times since the fall daddy, but I assure you with sustenance he will rise... er... he'll bounce back to normal. He's really had a cunt of a time."

Harry nodded guiltily wondering if he should pay Jimmy ten thousand bucks, without prejudice, for the suffering he'd inflicted on his innocent young guest by offering him a pussy-related job when quite obviously the guy was gay. Meanwhile Victoria looked at her three daughters suspiciously because all three wore that 'cat's got the cream' look women invariably get after having robust sex and relaxing in the wake of multiple orgasms.

Jimmy took most of the next day to recover and having mid-afternoon coffee with Victoria she said, "Which of my daughters do you wish to date?"

"Is that a caring mother's code to say sleep with?"

"Yes. You handled that beautifully Jimmy."

"Um don't they all have boyfriends?"

"Yes, but I meant to sleep with you at nights when they are free."

"Would you like to go first Vicki?"

"No."

"Oh."

Victoria said she was pleased they were clear about that. "Just on the quiet, I'm having a long-running affair with the owner of Gold Star Motors. You told me you had lost your job as a pre-owned cars salesman. Would you like me to land you an auto sales position with Gold Star Motors?"

"Oh yes Vicki. I've seen its advertising and it appears to be a top business."

"Yes, it's held the top spot in auto sales for nine of the past ten years. I know Terry is scouring for top sales people because he wants to clinch that top spot for the 10th year in a row and is nervous that new car sales are taking such a big hit because of the state of the national economy that he may be clipped by outfits specializing totally in used autos."

"Please get me an interview with him Vicki."

"Okay. Now which daughter?"

"I think it should be Mia. I could get her ready for the demands of college."

"Oh yes, good thinking. If she's agreeable I'll let Harry know so he accepts the situation."

* * *

Before Terry King tested Jimmy's knowledge and discussed his techniques, he asked: "What do you know about my relationship with Mrs Street?"

"All she said was she was an old friend of yours."

"You lying prick; she told me she'd informed you confidentially we'd been having it off for a long time."

"I deny that."

Terry grinned and said approvingly, "You lying bastard. Well that's proved you have one quality that makes a good auto salesman. Are you interested in remaining with pre-owned or do you wish to try new vehicles?"

"Pre-owned."

"Why?"

"Because new vehicles have become more difficult to move. I figured I'd earn more selling more pre-owned units."

Terry laughed and called Jimmy a greedy cunt. Terry's expertise at establishing affinity so quickly had revealed to Jimmy why the adulterer was so successful in business. 

At the end of the interview Terry pressed the tips of his fingers together and said, "I have decided to give you a month's trial. If you work out you'll move into a shared office and will have access to the pre-owned lot to take a vehicle home at nights and be on a salary off $20,000 plus a 1.28% commission on the dealer price of each vehicle you sell. How's that young man?"

"Perhaps I should ask you a question. What would be say to Victoria if she had said to you that you could lie beside her and could engage in as much foreplay as you wished but you could not enter her?"

The tired-eyed fifty-something said, "I'd say get fucked."

"Then I say get fucked Mr King. That's exactly what you are doing to me."

Terry scowled and cracked his knuckles and then he must have had a flashback, seeing himself in Jimmy's shoes thirty years ago. Jimmy's cool stare was beginning to waver, his confidence ebbing, as Terry's scowl turned into a smile and he said, "Right start negotiating asshole."

Jimmy ended up with a two-year old Lexus SUV as his personal vehicle, a salary of $32,500 and a payment of $200 on every pre-owned vehicle he sold.

They shook hands and over coffee Terry had second thoughts and was perhaps thinking of the need to rack up the number of new vehicles he wanted sold because he said, "Jimmy, what say you work only in the new vehicle division and I raise the $200 a unit sale to $1000?"

"I'd be out of my depth with new car sales."

"I'll coach you. You start Monday and I'll coach you."

"But your attention will be diverted from me. What say you work with me all Sunday afternoon from midday? That's the big time for 'lookers' who kick tires. I'll be able to observe your techniques with the hardcore of difficult potential clients."

"Right you're on. Britt will cut my throat because we have a family lunch."

"Get them to start at 11:30 and you come in here by 1.30 and we work late."


Jimmy Palin You Asshole



Terry stared at Jimmy thoughtfully.

"What?"

"I'm thinking at your age young man in this situation I would have had the brains to suggest that to the asshole frustrating my ambition. It's early days Jimmy but for the first time I'm telling a new recruit, "I think you've got it."

"I know I have, I've sold lots of cars."

"That's what your references said Jimmy but the reality is those vehicles were mainly racing towards their use-by date. I'm talking about you being in the premier edge, selling the very big ticket items in the sixty thousand and upwards bracket and even winning fleet sales from our competitors."

Jimmy scratched behind his left ear. "So you think I'm the new you?"

"My mind is open to that but first let's see how you go. I'll send you home with a CD of our range and company laptop and company phone. The cost of those comes off your first month's check but those amounts are credited back to you on the day you have been with us for one year." 

"I want the phone of my choice – working cars and people is all about talking to people on a phone when not in the yard or showroom."

"Okay asshole. I might have known you'd play tough. I suppose you want an office overlooking the courtyard?"

"Fuck the office Terry. Space in the storeroom will do me. I sell cars in the showroom, in a bar or calling on people at home. If you don't see me in the showroom you'll know I'll be around here somewhere probably fucking your wife or daughter in the storeroom."

"That's not funny Jimmy."

"Oh come on Terry, you know I was kidding."

"My daughter Dion is also a new-start salesperson here."

"Christ Terry, I'm sorry, I had no intention of making a crude remark about your daughter but I guess about your wife is okay, isn't it?"

"I suppose so."

"In that case I apologize for being crude about your wife."

"Family is family Jimmy but I guess being kicked out of your home you are not too big on family?"

"Yeah, so Vicki told you about me leaving home."

"Yeah. You just fuck her daughters Jimmy. Try out on Victoria and I'll wring your fucking scrawny neck."

They grinned.

Victoria arrived in Jimmy's room soon after she heard him drive up. She closed the door.

"So my little word in the right ear has worked out for you?"

"Yeah thanks. Give me a month at the yard you can increase my board."

"No but you can pay thirty bucks a week directly into the kitchen account. You are picky about your food and so are expensive to keep."

"Fine. Remind me to arrange the transfer in a month in case I forget."

Patting the sides of her attractive dyed blonde hair, Victoria said, "Did Terry have anything nice to say about me?"

"Yeah, he said of his three broads, you fuck the best."

The sound of a landing jet airliner filled Jimmy's ears and pain split across his head as he fell to the ground.

"What the hell?"

This time he went back two paces as Victoria whacked him across the nose.

"Oh dammit, you've hurt my hand," she wailed.

"Sorry," Jimmy said, attending to his bleeding nose with his handkerchief.

"Oh Jimmy, darling. I'm so sorry. Oh what a bully of a woman I am. Rest on the bed and I'll fetch ice."

By the time the ice pack was in place, Victoria had lost her remorse. "You jerk, if you even speak so despicably about my relationship with you know who again I'll scratch your eyes out."

"Yeah, yeah," Jimmy said, his voice muffled. "This is a fucking hard way of finding out you don't like being teased."

Victoria grinned and kissed above the icepack.

Veronica came in and took in the situation. "Oh god, what happened?"

"I hit..."

"Vicki hit me with this icepack to stop a nose bleed," mumbled Jimmy. "I walked into the side of the bathroom doorway."

"Oh is that all? Did you steal the Lexus in the driveway?"

"No it goes with my new job. I signed on this afternoon as a new car salesman with Gold Star Motors."

"Oh congratulations and you'll meet one of my girlfriends who is a new car salesperson. Her name is Dion King or have you already met her – a blonde with a figure to die for?

Victoria and Jimmy stared at Veronica, mouths open.

Later Victoria told Jimmy that disclosure had surprised her. She knew of course about Dion but the last time Terry had mentioned her she was still at college.

"Well considering what you two do there wouldn't be much incentive to talk about families, would there?" Jimmy said, poised to duck.

Victoria smiled and winked at him.

* * * 

Jimmy couldn't believe it when he tailed Terry closing into a couple looking at an $88,500 Lexus when Terry kicked the back tire and said, "Hi folk, Sunday afternoon is a great time to buy a new car when the salesman has been to church and had lunch, leaving him in a mellow mood."

Jimmy thought it unbelievable that Terry had kicked the tire like a brainless yahoo with no intention of buying. But the spiel certainly was good, suggesting Terry was the man.

The couple promised to come back tomorrow after studying the brochure.

"Is that likely?" Terry asked as they watched the couple turn out of the lot. Terry muttered no and turned away but Jimmy saw the couple get into a two-year old Lexus.

"Very likely. They drive Lexus."

Terry looked to confirm that. "Jesus, I didn't ask what they drive, did I? I must be slipping."

"Give them a call."

"You heard them, they declined to give their phone number."

"Well possibly I can help you out there," Jimmy said. "They turned into our entranceway to back out and head off in the direction where they'd come from. Blow up this low-rez imagine on your computer from my cell phone camera and you may find their vehicle registration is discernable. With luck, they probably get their vehicle serviced here and/or purchased it from here."

"For a twenty-two-year old you're fucking sharp Jimmy. I don't know much about new technology."

"What you call new technology we geeks call old technology," replied Terry's under study. "I'll download the image and blow it up larger for you."

As they locked up for the night Terry said Jimmy could start at 9:00 next morning as the MVDA's regional training officer would be taking the third of six training sessions for new inductees, with emphasis on finance, the road readiness of new vehicles and closing a sale. You have had formal training, I take it?"

"No. Just one-on-one like with you yesterday."

"God, I must be losing it. Well you attend every session we sponsor, do you hear?"

"Okay you flush when you get excited Terry."

"You cheeky young pup. I..."

"Women don't like it. They read it as a sign of possible future heart attack."

"Huh?"

And so Jimmy began one-on-one tuition with Terry on what he understood about women.



CHAPTER 2

Jimmy introduced himself to Andrea the trainer and gave her a note from Terry and introduced himself to the other three new sales people. A tall blonde entered and glared at Jimmy. 

"You're in my seat."

Ah he was being put in his place, thought Jimmy. Well perhaps. "What's your name honey?"

"Miss King."

"There wasn't no reservation tag on this chair for a Miss King or for anyone else for that matter. Now sit down and behave. You're holding up our class."

"No you get out of my chair."

"Fuck off blondie, you're boring."

"Please you two, enough of this," said Andrea. "It's disrupting my class that should have started three minutes ago. We are here to learn the finer points of selling vehicles. Dealing with personal abuse will be covered in a later session. Take your seat please Dion.

"No, I want that seat."

"Well take this seat you spoilt young woman," Jimmy said. He stood and said 'Ooops' as he twisted the metal-frame chair into an unusable piece of furniture.

"Thank god that's over, Andrea said.

"Dion you sit in the front, Jimmy you fetch another chair and sit well away from Dion."

During that session Dion demonstrated her superior knowledge to the class about some of the legalities involved in selling a vehicle and she knew ever question concerning loan finance put to her.

Andrea revealed that Dion had recently graduated with a master's in business administration and everyone including 'asshole' clapped and the smiling boss's daughter noticed that.

After morning tea they went out with clipboard and were asked to identify the twelve things wrong with the demonstrator vehicle as if it were prepared for immediate delivery for its new owner. They were given fifteen minutes to inspect the vehicle thoroughly.

When asked how many defects had they recorded, John and Dion had found five, Archie had noted six, Jimmy drew laughter when he reported fourteen and Andrea said 'Very funny Jimmy'. Dion said caustically, "There's always one clown in every class." The asshole winked at her and she immediately lost a little of her hostility and looked less certain. Frank said proudly he'd detected nine irregularities.

"Dion I'm surprised at your fountain of theoretical knowledge that you perform low on observation skills."

"She's been locked in an academic environment for four years Andrea. Don't you think you should give her a break?"

Dion turned round to give Jimmy and incredulous look and Andrea smiled and said quite right Jimmy.

Dion reported finding: Dashboard panel reports left-hand rear brake light bulb faulty; cigarette butt in ashtray; water drops apparent on rooftop; front seat left adjusted for a long-legged driver instead of normal legged driver; rear seat belts not clipped in to lie neatly; petrol tank quarter full instead of half-full as required by company policy.

"Excellent Dion," said Andrea. "Mostly cosmetic but nevertheless important points."

"But there was a counting error; I made that six items," Jimmy said.

Dion counted and said, "God he's right. Sorry and thanks Jimmy."

"Well Jimmy, since you have the mythical fourteen points, please proceed to defy the experts who prepared our vehicle for this test."

"Right Andrea. "The windscreen washer mix has too much solution to water; there's a stone chip on the driver's door, bottom left looking at the door; the headlights' adjustment at hi-beam has them up too high; the radio has not been set to strongest stations."

"Very good Jimmy. You and Dion had identified the full list. Which one did you miss Frank?"

"That car radio settings."

"Well for your information only about one in 150 inductees we put through this test gets that one. And now for your mythological faults Jimmy."

"Thank you for the opportunity to demonstrate the difference between attempting to check carefully and to check meticulously Andrea. I'm not attempting to demonstrate any superiority here, just to show how a meticulous coach I had in my previous job succeeded in instilling his experience into me. First, there's an oil leak, a tiny drip but it's there; it could be the engine oil was either over-filled or topped up messily. I may have detected under the vehicle the only oil drip there is likely to be. Or else a seal really is leaking. Second, the front passenger vanity mirror is missing. I could find no evidence it was ever fitted. Third, the wrong owner's manual is in the glove box. It's the one for the diesel all-wheel drive model. Fourth there is a tiny stone chip right where a driver of my height looks through the windscreen. That's all apart from saying John even with a score of five, you may have delivered this vehicle to the new owner with possibly fewer defects than most new owners discover after delivery." 

"Thank you Jimmy. I can't believe we all missed that stone chip. No matter how small it is it must be attended to. The wrong manual, I think that happens at every dealership every now and again. The oil leak, well there is uncertainty that it is a leak and will have to be investigated. But the missing vanity mirror – that discovery took me completely by surprise. It's on every factory progress installation checklist, factory pre-delivery check list and dealer delivery check list and dealer buyer pre-delivery list. This has to be one in a million fuck-up... er did I say slip up?"

The class and tutor clapped Jimmy and grinned, "I promise I didn't remove the mirror.

As Jimmy went out to find the sales manager Dion fell into step beside him. 

"I have a big apology to make," she began.

"It's okay. You've spoken to Veronica and what she told you about me has shocked me and you simply wanted to made sure I knew you were out of bounds."

"W-well yes. I'd come in thinking you'd look like a pig since you seem to act like one, having multiple sex partners but surprisingly you look rather, er, good."

"Er yes, the Street girls have been extremely accommodating but I must say, never more than one at the time."

Dion had 'forgive me' in her eyes when she choked, "Ohmigod, that's my fault. I misinterpreted what Veronica was saying."

"But does it matter? I still have sex with practically any female who wants to bed me."

"No, that's not as bad, nothing like it."

"What say you were told I'd done it with my sister, but only the once."

"Oh god."

"And my mother."

"Ohmigod... no!"

"No, and rightly so. Not with my mother."

"By why with your sister?"

"She was down after splitting up with her live-in boyfriend and had come home despondent. It was Saturday morning, the house was quiet and she wandered into my bedroom to find me in bed reading. And she came at me, not really begging, just in need."

"Oh, your poor sister. I can understand her moment of need."

"Yeah, I feel like that every day."

"God you men," Dion laughed with a suggestion of disapproval. "Is my apology accepted?"

Jimmy stopped. "If you kiss me."

"What, here in the open where everyone can see us?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"

Dion sighed and said, "Veronica said you were something." She kissed Jimmy, a little hurriedly.

"Yes, apology accepted. When do we date? I have no commitment with any of the Street sisters."

"Friday night would be fine. God I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Why's that?"

"Mom suspects daddy is having an affair with Mrs Street."

"You have to be joking," Jimmy laughed attempting to avoid real deception. "Wouldn't you think a gynecologist gives his wife expert attention at a level carnally she'd not receive anywhere else?"

"Well I thought that but mommy thinks for a gynecologist it must be like looking for anything that is wrong with it rather than being dedicated to pleasuring it."

"Well that may be so but if your mom suspects your father could be looking elsewhere have you asked has she seen herself as the problem?"

"What?"

"Has she attempted to analyze why would your father look for a good fuck elsewhere?"

"God Jimmy you're crude but you certainly have made your point. It's something I must discuss with mother at an opportune moment."

Driving home that evening Jimmy was thinking he now had women problems. After being in his bed twice, both Mia and Charlotte had gone off him but not Veronica who was practically attacking him sexually. She'd had even caught him in the hallway on one occasion as he arrived home and sucked him off while her mother and two sisters were only yards away in the kitchen chatting. She was such a hottie but now he had her friend Dion in his sights. The problem was Dion would be no pushover. A rush of blood to the head left a huge image of a hairless pussy in his mind that he assumed was Dion's and he almost ran into the rear of a gas tanker slowing for a turning vehicle.

The women trouble began as soon as he entered the house. Veronica was lurking in the hallways but not for fellatio. "You sleaze-pit, Dion called and said you are dating her Friday."

"Well yes."

"You've never dated me despite me lavishing my talents on you."

"Well no."

"Well?"

"There's nothing I can say."

"Men!" Veronica snarled savagely and went through into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her. Jimmy really regretted that. As she went through the door, face flaming and lips curled back he'd had such a strong desire to shaft her.

Victoria came out, saw him and shook her head. "You have made Veronica very unhappy."

"He nodded. I accept I'm behaving badly."

Victoria said he'd disappointed her. She'd thought from the first time they'd met he knew how to treat women.

"I-I wanted that room."

Victoria sighed. "You deceptive asshole."

"Sorry. I believe no men know how to treat women as women wish to be treated. It's part of the mystery of the universe."

"Oh yeah? Well actually that sounds plausible. Well at least Terry thinks well of you."

"Men are easy to impress."

Victoria smiled and said, "True, you have quite a way with you Jimmy Palin you asshole. I presume you are aware Veronica is a lovely young woman and her beautiful friend Dion is a total bitch."

"It sticks out a mile," he said, and noticed Victoria look at his crotch.

Jimmy was helping Mia with the dishes after dinner when Veronica entered the kitchen. He positioned defensively between Veronica and the knife block. Then she surprised him as Mia left to do homework.

"Want to go for a walk down to the river?"

"What a wonderful suggestion; it's a lovely warm and still evening," he said, wondering if the plan was to stove in his head with a rock. Well he went with Veronica, thinking he deserved retribution for having treated her badly although still rather unsure what he'd done that had riled her and resulted in Victoria chastising him. Why can't women accept that it's just like going into a dress shop at an end of summer sale, sex can become very competitive?

They lay on the grassy riverbank, well clear of rocks and fallen branch ends that could be a very useful makeshift club. Jimmy had picked the clearest of sites for Veronica to spill her heart out to him and them attempt to strangle him.

But no, it wasn't at all like that.

"Have your way with me Jimmy."

He sighed thinking she read too many of those romance novels from the Twenties and Thirties. The way she wanted would be her way.

But no, it wasn't at all like that.

They had a great sixty-nine and then a robust missionary. While they rested Veronica said, "Jimmy?"

God, that subservience in her voice; she was about to tell him she was pregnant.

"You know I have Mike and Rogan hanging around me at the office?"

"Yes, you have mentioned them, more than once."

"Well sex with you is far better than with either of them and Mr Whittaker, my department manager. I'd be so grateful if you would continue shafting me while you are attempting to break down the resistance of Dion King."

"If it is to be tough going I might not bother."

"You will. At college she earned the name as the most under-fucked female on campus although it was known she gave it to some guy every six weeks or so when feeling compelled to made union."

"In that case for me Dion is history."

"She feels drawn to you Jimmy and doesn't understand why. So why you are attempting the break-through could you continue giving me my nightly fill?"

Jimmy gulped, the perfect solution was being presented to him.

"I'd be delighted to meet your request darling Veronica. Um...?"

"No mention or even suggestion will be made that you are continuing to shaft me."

They returned home in a tight hug, happy and exhausted. The house was in darkness and that suited them fine because their clothes soiled with sweat, dried liquids and grass stains. They made an ugly sight.

* * *

Jimmy dozed through a movie about women being clueless about sex that Dion found to be hilarious and then took her to a cheap restaurant in retaliation by lying and saying he wouldn't get his first check for another three weeks.

"You've sold five vehicle while Frank and I have only sold one."

"I have the drop on your two sweetie, your father is coaching me."




Jimmy Palin You Asshole



"Dad, but what does he know about selling vehicles?"

"Christ Dion, it's been his business since day one when he began his first job."

"Oh I thought all he knew about it was sitting with his feet on his desk and chatting on the phone, probably to his mistress while his peons worked their guts out for him."

"That would be your father selling product to fleet operators sweetie. No one else here sells to fleet operators."

"Ohmigod, are you telling me he's more that a fat slob?"

"Does your mom Britt call him a fat slob?"

"Yes of course. How do you know my mom's name, she never comes within a mile of this dealership and in fact drives a Volkswagen."

Jimmy chewed his steak.

"What, what is it? Why have you stopped talking?"

"I want you settled before saying something to you – your mouth shut and your ears open."

"You're very rude."

Jimmy ate on silently.

"Okay, my mouth is shut and my ears are open."

Jimmy said, "Well just since we've been here you have transmitted two things about your mother that would get right up your father's nose. The first is that you both apparently call him a fat slob. That's bullshit. He carries less weight than many guys his age although he probably is increasing in size. Secondly Britt not coming near his business is rather insulting but not driving a Lexus would get him right up the nose."

"Oh god, I see it... we haven't been treating him lovingly and supportively, have we?"

"How would I really know? But I'd have a damn good guess and say no."

"And driving a VW is the supreme insult."

"No, of course not."

"What?"

"Terry would accept your mom is entitled to buy the car of her choice. The insult comes in not buying it through his business. The supreme insult is Britt not dragging his ass into his business to say hi to folk, to look around with interest, feigned if necessary, and tell him what a good boy he is."

Dion whispered, "Oh god, what a fucking mess."

Terry continued to rip the situation apart, unafraid to indict Dion. "You all the way through have taken you mom's side; I'm prepared to bet on that."

Dion whispered, "Yes, oh god, yes."

"Well do something about it."

Dion, eyes filling, said, "Like what?"

"Begin by changing your relationship with your father but don't rush it like a bull at a gate. I suggest you start by said, "Daddy, I only sold one auto this week. Is there any chance you could teach me the skills I thought I possessed but now accept I lack?"

Dion said doubtfully, "He'd see through that transparently feeble attempt."

"Oh do you think so? I think he would be pleased because he would already be thinking he might have to fire you unless you became more productive."

"Fire me?"

"Well perhaps he'd place you in the office where your future lies but he probably would have preferred you proving yourself on the forecourt first."

"H-how do you know that was the deal?"

"Christ Dion, don't you know anything? Any astute businessman would make that demand, even to his children, especially to his children with aspirations for management positions in the company."

Dion pushed her plate away. "I feel sick."

Jimmy grinned and said, "Remorse will take you through it Dion, providing the drive you need. I know it's not going to be easy but I willing to bet it will end well."

"And for my mother?"

"Who knows? I know nothing about Britt."

Outside the restaurant Dion kissed Jimmy. That surprised him. He'd decided not to touch her until she was moved in on him. He decided this was a kiss in appreciation.

"Why are you not groping me? Do you find something wrong with me?"

Bewildered he thrust an arm down and cupped her vulva.

"God Jimmy, not down there... not when we are on the street. I meant you to cup my breasts."

Jimmy broke away thinking couldn't a guy ever do anything right for a woman?

On the drive home Dion said, "I'm almost two years older that you Jimmy."

"I know."

There was an awkward silence. 

He knew she was waiting for a proper response from him. "We appear to be getting along okay. The truth is I didn't think you'd be interested in me."

Dion sucked in breath. "The truth from me is I can't believe how interested I am in you Jimmy."

"You'll get over it."

"Yes perhaps I will. Veronica says she can't get enough of you."

There was an awkward silence again.

She said, "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay. Veronica and you are close friends."

"I find it difficult to believe you appear so mature and yet you are little more than a kid, not turning twenty-three for another couple of months."

"So Veronica told you that."

"Yes."

"And Veronica tells you what she likes about me."

"Yes."

"And you will tell Veronica all about tonight?"

"Yes but not about our discussion about me and my family."

"Good girl. You're showing both discretion and maturity."

She giggled and reached across and squeezed his breast, something no one had ever done to Jimmy. The SUV lurched.

Giggling, Dion made a call.

Jimmy thought she would be calling Veronica to say she was halfway to first base with Jimmy.

"Hi mom, I'm having a lovely time. Can I invite Jimmy over for a meal this weekend? Dad knows him. Just a minute, I'll ask."

"Want to have lunch with my family Sunday at 1:00?"

"Sure, please tell your mom I'd be delighted."

"You heard that mom? Fine, he's delivering me home now. Good night."

"Britt didn't invite me to stay?"

"No she's not that kind of mother but she would accept it if I invited you to stay."

"Well I would have declined with thanks in both instances. I want to fuck you Dion but have decided we should proceed slowly. Want to know something?"

"Yes."

"You think I'm really clued up about people don't you?"

"Yes, very much so."

"That's because I listened very intently when people attempted to tell me things about interpersonal relationships. I also took two online courses on the subject and received a diploma in salesmanship when I was seventeen. I became passionately interested in the subject when finding I could manipulate people through such knowledge."

"That is so dangerous; it's so one-sided and no one likes being manipulated."

"But the skill is to do it without them being aware of it."

Jimmy then told Dion the story about selling a V8 turbo car to a little old lady and she fell about laughing when he described selling a really hot pickup to a female school principal. 

"You are awful and quite irresponsible Jimmy, a real asshole," she gurgled.

They stopped in the driveway under trees leading to her father's mansion and it was indeed a mansion, a rather immodest one with three flagpoles and it was floodlit. That was tatty but he was a motor vehicle dealer.

* * *

Dion waited expectedly to be kissed and tongued and a hand jammed roughly under her bra. But that didn't happen. He just laid back his seat she heard the noise of his zip.

She froze.

He said, "Go chew on this baby."

Dion though of murder, probably using an axe. What an asshole, expecting her to go straight down on her without working her up first. But then she thought of it being jammed up Veronica... Veronica had high standards so it must be a wholesome looking dick. And she thought about how helpful Dion was being to her, He was proving to be, quite inspiring. So she sighed, undid her bra and leaned over to gobble him.

Ohmigod, what a mouthful. It was a wonder Veronica hadn't locked herself in his bedroom and flushed the key down the toilet. Her tongue explored every inch of it and that included washing his balls. He was as hairless as she was. What a creep – he was out to impress by his dick and to ram any female within reach. Dion smiled as she took it to the back of her throat, thinking of the time she'd watched an ass-fucking DVD with her mother. Until then her mom never knew it had become fashionable for men to also shave but all four guys on the DVD were bald. Perhaps her mom should try Dion if he could bear to be touched by a woman approaching fifty.

Jimmy was squeezing a tit really roughly and now he was pushing down on the back of her head, wanting her to really deep throat him. She got the angles right but couldn't go all the way down so decided not to try. Apparently it was enough to please him.

Dion pulled off him and warned, "I don't want cum in my mouth. Okay?"

"Yeah that's fine. You decide. Can you get back on to job – I'm in heaven."

She smiled and added variety this time by rolling his balls. She wouldn't allow him to fuck her, not tonight; perhaps not for a month. He had to learn she wasn't a slut and not to expect her to drop her panties any old time he wanted it. Her own build up was running high and she knew just a couple of rubs of the nub and she'd get off as well.

Dion felt him swell in her mouth and his purring had become groans. She reached down, delayed by the wrong angles to slide a hand smoothly to her pussy when suddenly he was pumping cum down her throat and she was swallowing. Then she blew the instant she touched herself and her vision blurred into black and red and yellow stars were exploding.

Breathing heavily she pulled herself upright, aware semen was dripping out of her mouth and she screamed, "You bastard, you bastard – I expected you to warn me."

"I did, I could feel my dick swelling into your mouth. It's your fault; you should have pulled away. Why is your pussy smelling so strongly?"

Dion jammed a hand down there and heard the squishing sound at the same time she felt the wetness. "Ohmigod, you've made my soak myself."

"Oh really, great. Let me suck your fingers."

"No, get away from me you beast!"

He grabbed the pussy-smelling hand and sucked it, making exaggerated noises of approval. Dion couldn't help herself. She fell over him giggling helplessly like a whore, or how she imagined a whore would react half awash in fluids, the spoils of a successful sex encounter. The next thing he had fingers inside her pussy and brought them out dripping and make her suck them. She could have refused, but she didn't she had no idea why and heard herself say wantonly, "Oh a lovely drop, great vintage this year." Unbelievable.

Dion lay half-asleep across her chest and was aware of what he was doing. He worked a finger into her asshole and she had allowed that to happen without protest. Any other time she would have screw the balls of any guy attempting to do that if the simple rebuke, "Fuck off" hadn't worked. Well it would appear butt-fucking was on their agenda. He'd figured by that finger test she was a butt virgin.

They walked up the driveway, Jimmy supporting her because she was a little tired but feeling really emotionally drained.

They kissed deeply and stroked faces and finally he said, "Goodnight. You appear almost out on your feet."

Reaching her bedroom Dion heard the SUV leave from under the spreading trees and thought she's just experienced the most fulsomely incredible Friday night of her adult life. So many reasons contributed to that conclusion. And to think they'd not even had sex, er, in the conventional sense.



CHAPTER 3

On Sunday Jimmy called Dion that he was just turning into her street to allow her to be outside the front door to greet him.

They kissed and she felt unbalanced so he knew she was on only one leg, the other lifted up at the knee, the sort of things girls do when they try to be extra girlie.

"You smell fresh, I can't smell pussy."

"God you are crude; I don't know why I put up with you. That's not your vehicle – it's our IS250 coupe demonstrator.

"Yeah, call your mom out will you."

Dion laughed. "You'll never get her in that – she'd gone European in her head. I'll send her out however, to give you the chance to test yourself."

A tall, elegant woman in sandals and three-quarter white pants and a bright floral top and headband of matching material emerged and said, "So you are Jimmy?"

"Yes, good afternoon Mrs... um Britt."

"So you've decided to take the risk and be informal in addressing me. Very well. I'm pleased to meet you and to learn you are supportive of Dion at the dealership."

"Well that's not difficult Britt, she looks great and her personality shines."

"Oh what a lovely thing to say."

"Britt take the wheel of this beauty."

"It's one of Terry's isn't it, a Lexus coupe. One of my girlfriends has one, a gold color but I like this one..."

"Tungsten Pearl."

"Oooh, don't they have grand names for paint these days. When I was selling with Terry when he was starting out on his own with that huge debt..."

Britt sat in the driver's seat as she chatted on, looking around her. Jimmy's mind was reeling... Britt had been in the dealership at the beginning, really involved it seemed. What had gone wrong to separate Terry and Britt in their business relationship?

Jimmy pointed out the controls, not bothering with the messy stuff, and then explained how to adjust the seat to her liking. When she was comfortable, wriggling her ass and saying "Oooh" he closed her door and went around and climbed in beside her.

"And exactly what kind of con are you pulling young man?"

"Don't bother about that at the moment ma'am. This is a no-obligation test of a very feminine coupe with grunt."

Britt moved off without fuss, indicating she was a competent driver. As they moved along the street she asked the curly one: "Why are you doing this?"

"I suspect you want the truth."

"Yes young man, and without fudging."

"I'd not seen you in the showroom and Dion told me I never will."

"I see and she explained why?"

"That was the odd thing. She didn't appear to know why. And then I asked what kind of car you drove."

"And she indicated a VW Passat?"

"Yeah, take and right up ahead."

"That goes to the windy hill climb. So I'm supposed to try out this lady and be impressed and decide to buy it."

"Well having a daughter like Dion I didn't expect you to be stupid."

They drove mainly in silence and at the top of O'Brien's Hill they parked, over-looking the vista.

"Dion was eleven at the time," Britt began without warning. "Terry had agencies for Chevy pickups and trucks and two makes of Japanese cars that were slowly gaining market share as the passing years diluted bad memories of the long-past war. We were struggling at the time because farm prices were down and so was building activity. Instead of pulling in his horns and riding it out, Terry went the other way with grandiose ideas as usual and once again would be proven right. But I was mad with him. I'd had two miscarriages and then ended that likelihood ever again with surgery. And I was tired of living amid debt and working into the evenings and weekends trying to sell vehicles while wishing for a normalized life like my coffee mornings-book club-golfing girlfriends."

"Terry said he was going ahead with or without my support and drew up a business plan and with the bank loan with our former home as security purchased the site where he is now. Somehow we survived and just as our heads appeared permanently above water he signed up the area franchise for Lexus. That seemed crazy for me because most of our clients purchased pre-owned vehicles. It meant building a swept-up showroom and support facilities. I went into his office to yell at him to cancel the deal and I'd get my father to pay the penalties involved and found the door locked. So I used my key and swept in to find him fucking his cooperative bank loan manager, a blonde ten years younger than me. He saw me but she didn't which was fortunate because Jerry was granted his loan. I withdrew silently, giving him a foul gesture."

"You don't have..."

"I need to tell someone Jimmy. Except for my late father, no one was ever told. I'd like you to tell Dion sometime. I believe I'd go hysterical telling her because I'd really relive it."

"Okay, keep calm."

"I took Dion to live with my widower father and it was fine, Terry and I had agreed to divorce. Then Dion began whining she wanted to go and live with daddy and me or just with daddy. That shook me. Then my father had a heart attack watching ice hockey and died before medical assistance arrived. At the funeral as you could imagine I was in such a mess than when Terry said 'Come home Brittany' I just capitulated. My father left me a great deal of money so I paid off all of Terry's debts, resigned and said I never wished to step foot in the place again. So I haven't. I got back sexually with Terry but I own that house and so he knows I can throw him out if I ever catch him misbehaving again. End of story."

Britt began weeping, so Jimmy took her in his arms, as best he could in a car, and stroked her face and kissed her hair until she calmed and then drew away, patting his arm and thanking him.

"Right Britt, it's time to end this... totally. Here's what I want you to do – you buy this vehicle which is a demonstrator, or a new one with some other color you like better, and I'll sell your Passat for you. I'll tell Dion over dinner what you have told me today and I want you at the client cocktail party we are holding on Friday week to introduce a new model. All this is to achieve complete reconciliation."

Britt sighed deeply. "Okay, it's time for that, I acknowledge what you are doing to assist but I don't understand why I must change cars as part of the package?"

"Even Dion regards you not driving a franchise vehicle from Gold Star Motors as an insult to your father. I asked but she doesn't know what Terry thinks about it."

"Oh god, I stuck a sword not a knife into him, didn't I?"

"Actually Britt I admire your style. Your were treated poorly but in hitting back as an avenging bitch you did the complete job apart from divorcing the philanderer."

"Do you like Terry? I understand from Dion you are the wonder boy protégé."

"He likes me and I like him. That's enough for me Britt because I'm only twenty-two so life remains uncomplicated for me."

"You appear aged beyond your years. Last night Britt told me my suspicions about her father having an affair were correct, that she had information but refused to divulge it. She later asked Terry, in my presence, would he coach her to become a top salesperson."

Jimmy grinned.

"Terry's face was a treat to see and he looked even more pleased when she said her ambition was to become at least as good as you were at asking for the order. You were involved in both of those initiatives, weren't you?"

"All I'm saying I want it sorted out for Dion's sake. She's a lovely young woman and feels she has two half parents in some ways and has a bias towards her father because of his deep feeling of warmth for her. I simply assumed I'd find you to be a cold-hearted bitch but after you talking to me I change that to a long-wounded wife. You can't turn back the clock but you'll enjoy your daughter more by totally recanting."

"So I achieve that by owning this demonstrator and sobbing to Terry that I finally forgive him?"

Jimmy liked his lips. "My thinking is that let's Terry off the hook. You don't even have to buy the car, it can remain a company car."

"Okay, so how do I have a piece of Terry?"

"You should do it your way. You are bright and know how to counter-punch."

"I'd appreciate your suggestion but would like to hear your suggestion."

"Easy, you say, 'Give up that fucking woman of yours Terry and hereafter remain true to me and for that commitment I'll forgive you utterly'."

"Is that all?"

"Yes, men are not very complicated Britt. You ought to know that."

She laughed and climbed out of the vehicle. "Drive me home in my new car Jimmy, stopping at a bottle store. It's French champagne before, during and after lunch. I'll drag Terry away to deliver my ultimatum as soon as we arrive home."

They drove up to the house that Jimmy had mistakenly believed was Terry's acquisition.




Jimmy Palin You Asshole



"What's with the flags and floodlights I saw the other night Britt... too ostentatious for you, surely?"

"Well yes, those were Terry's suggestions when I purchased."

Jimmy had planted the 'bad taste' idea so said nothing more. 

Dion and Jerry met them, looking worried.

"You've been almost one and a half hours," Dion complained.

"Yeah babe but I had an uphill job with her. Tell them Britt."

"This is my new car."

"Oooh," Dion said, jumping up and down clapping. Her father said, "Well I be damned."

"Come along with me Terry. That's not the only influence young Jimmy has had on me. We need to talk."

They walked off and Dion said, "You also worked on mom about dad?"

"Yeah but success depends on the reaction of your father. Help me with these bottles."

"Six bottles of champagne. God what's got into her?"

"New hope I would think. Take me to some food. I'm hungry."

"Okay providing I get some kisses."

"Deal."

Terry and Britt came walking to them, hand-in-hand.

"God, look at them. Something's changed them."

"Dion, ignore it please. I'm to talk to you about it over dinner."

"When?"

"Er tomorrow night. You'll be pie-eyed on champagne by tonight."

Jimmy was correct. Around 4:00 when Terry and Britt waved him off in a cab, being too drunk to drive, Dion had already vomited and was soundly asleep in her bed.

He arrived home to find the girls red-eyed and Harry staring at the wall in the kitchen, hands cupping his chin.

"What's up?"

"Mom's left us," Mia cried.

"I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do," intoned Harry.

Veronica pleaded, "Help us Jimmy."

Jimmy felt weighed by guilt. Christ Terry must have called her to say it was all over and Victoria had gone off and was probably standing on the river bridge looking down at the dark swirling waters as they spoke. It was his fault. Why had he interfered?

"Where's Vicki," he croaked.

Charlotte sobbed, "At grandma's – she called us to say she'd arrive okay and was sorry she was doing this to us."

"Doing what to you?"

"Abandoning us."

"Why?"

"She blames dad for not loving her and says she had to get a new life."

"What new life?"

"A life with a man who loves her and has beautiful sex with her."

By this stage Jimmy wasn't sure who was talking. Everyone was talking. Harry was now saying, "But why me, I was a good father?" Why me, I was a good father?"

"Clear off girls," Jimmy said. "I need to talk to your father. Shut the door behind you."

"Aw Jimmy, can't we..."

"Fuck off!" he roared, and they fled.

"I ought to hit you for talking to my daughters like that."

"Come on Harry you fucking wimp. Here's my jaw – hit it."

"I'm not a violent person."

"No, I guessed that otherwise I wouldn't have invited you to hit me. Then what are you?"

"I don't know."

"I know, you're a guy up to his elbows in cunt and it's confused you."

"You have no authority to demean a woman's core by using that word."

Jimmy looked at Harry grimly. "The truth Harry. Why has Vicki left you?"

"She's been having an affair but it ended today. She was dropped, just like that... a thirty-second call. She cried and said she had no-one to fall back on to, that she still had years of active sex life left."

"And so."

"I told her I knew that."

"Yes Harry, I expect you did. And then you offered sympathy reinforced with assurances?"

"No, whatever for?"

Jimmy threw up his hands and snapped, "Stew in it Harry."

He yanked open the door and the three girls listening at the door practically fell into the room. "Okay you lot, into the lounge."

Veronica, Charlotte and Mia sat watching Jimmy nervously.

Aware of his involvement, Jimmy cleared his throat and said, "This is an unfortunate situation, for all of us."

He paused hoping someone would say he wasn't to blame but no such assurance, however misdirected, was forthcoming.

"Your mom has been having a long-running affair with a guy who collapsed it today. Your father failed to offer the support your distraught mother required so she ran home to mother."

"It's a long way to run."

Charlotte said shut up Mia.

"Do you want my opinion?"

Mia and Charlotte said yes while Veronica said no. Jimmy took that to having majority backing.

"Veronica, please step outside with me for a moment."

"Veronica, don't be a tough, know-all bitch. I assume you know who the guy is?"

"Yes, I wormed it out of mom before the others came into the room."

"Do they know?"

"No. It's your fault, isn't it, trying to help Dion's parent's mend their marriage."

"Yes."

Veronica said fiercely, "But why? Our mother treated you wonderfully. What has Dion's mother done for you?"

"Well I over-cooked and failed to look at downstream consequences. It's very difficult to repair both sides of a bridge simultaneously."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. But let's go back in. Promise me you'll never tell your sisters what you know about your mother's affair?"

"Okay, you've been fair to me, not throwing me out of your bed once you set your peepers on Dion."

"To be truthful I haven't inserted yet."

"I know, but that's where your mind is. Can you bring mom back to us?"

"No."

Jimmy assisted the crying Veronica back into the lounge.

"Everyone, today is a today you'll remember for the rest of your lives," said Jimmy. "It's tragic but today was the day when your mother finally and totally accepted her marriage was dead."

Even Veronica was staring at Jimmy wide-eyed.

"Your mom entered into a relationship with another guy to get what she was not receiving from your father and that lack of companionship and passion could have been blighting her life for years. Today your mom was told over the phone he was severing their relationship. Kaput!"

"Oh how terrible," Mia said. She began crying and that set off the others.

"Your mother might attempt to return but I hope she doesn't because it would only be for the sake of you guys and really you are all old enough to leave the nest or to stay here with your father." 

They looked at Jimmy horrified.

"This is the opportunity to give your mom the support she needs. I reckon she needs to make a clean break and position herself to come into contact with a guy who with luck will love and cherish her for as long as they live. This moment could be her only chance, her last chance because her last years of love plus sex are ticking to a close...tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock."

The sisters appeared to be silently voicing the words tick-tock.

Jimmy paused. They looked at one another and held hands.

"You know I'm not big into family stuff," confessed Jimmy, "but I know how adults interrelate. Whatever happens you will still have a mother and a father. Both of them need support right now. At the same time it's up to you guys to hold yourselves together. Fortunately for you Mia you go away to college soon. There is no reason why you can't return to this house during some breaks and stay with your mother at other breaks. Veronica and Charlotte, your time in this house is winding down anyway, tick-tock, tick-tock. My view about this is you three should jump into your father's car right now and go to your mother – stay the night. Remember you are going to support her so don't whine on about how unfair this is to you. I'll be here with your father and will cook our dinner. Do you need money?"

"No thanks Jimmy," Veronica said. "Daddy's fuel card is in his SUV. May we tell mommy what you said to us?"

"Only if you think it could help her. She feels down and almost out so be very careful with her."

They crowded around Jimmy to kiss and thank him.

"Tonight I'll tell Harry where you have gone and why. He's not in condition to be overloaded right now."



Eating dinner Harry said, "If she's gone for good I ought to look for another woman."

"Whatever for Harry?"

"For companionship and the odd bit of sex."

"Well just make sure you pick a woman who can cope with your indifference and has low sex drive."

"No woman would be interested in me."

"Well if you go on like that you could be right. On the other hand women see you as an eminent medical specialist Harry. They'll come to you Harry but if you are aiming to take one for a companion don't pick a robust woman like Vicki with her high sex drive."

"Did you ever bed Victoria as you did my daughters?"

"No Harry and that's the truth. But I was tempted at times."

"Thank you for telling me that."

Jimmy then told him where his daughters were and why he'd told them to go there. "I told them whatever happens Vicki will continue being their mother and you will continue being their father."

"Yes, quite. That's unchangeable, set in genes."

"It's very likely they will continue living here."

"You really think so; and you?"

"Yes if you wish me to stay on. I may indirectly have had influenced on Vicki leaving you. You know my brash manner of speaking and radical viewpoints."

"I have no problem with that Jimmy. Victoria's no pushover when it comes to telling her what to do. I know it's been a long, long time since she was satisfied with me. It would have been the children keeping this family together and this loss of her lover has awoken her to the fact that with Mia about to go to college Victoria would have seen life without me within her grasp."

"It's rather like the renewal process of life, isn't it?"

"An excellent viewpoint young man. Shall we discuss it?"

"Yeah why not Harry. I'll pour you another red and one night when you are in a mellow mood and you and Victoria have commenced separation formalities if it gets that far, I'll talk to you about how you have to change to take up with a new woman. My belief is you won't have to look beyond your former patients, I mean divorcees you can deal with ethically. Perhaps we should begin by setting up a profile for you..."

"I'm in emotional overload at this juncture Jimmy."

"Yeah, quite right. I like the rounded style of this red with its substantial body.

Jimmy took a call from Veronica just after 10:00.

"Not unexpectedly we found mom in quite a mess but Gran said she was far worse when she arrived. She heard us out and we all cried and hugged and seemed to have understanding at the right level. Gran and Pop were so glad we have come. Now you talk about us remembering this day for the rest of our lives, well listen to this. We had been telling Gran and Pop how you thought we should react to this situation and what you thought the best options for mom were. We'd not noticed her standing in the doorway until she said, 'That Jimmy Palin has had such influence on our lives in such a short time hasn't he darlings? It seems destiny decreed he should come to our home seeking shelter'. Something passed between mom and we girls at that moment, I'm sure it did. It was an unforgettable experience Jimmy."

"Well I haven't been left empty-handed while staying in your home Veronica. You for instance are one lovely lady and whatever you think you are much too nice for me. You are in conflict too much with Ralph but have you noticed the way his pal Tom looks at you. I'd take a closer look at Tom if I were you but hey, don't listen to me..."

"Tom you say. You mean he'd looking to get into my pants."

"Well it's up to you to find out but I'd think with you he's been thinking beyond that."

"Are you sure?"

"Darling, you can never be sure about men. You know that."

Veronica laughed and said she'd just checked on her mom who was asleep in Mia's arms.

"I was rather surprised. Mom asked Mia to sleep with her. I've always been the favorite."

Jimmy said he didn't know about family stuff but it would seem to him that it would be mothering instinct. "Your mom probably sees Mia as the more vulnerable of you three."

"You mean because of age?"

"Not at all, emotionally."

"Ohmigod, you're probably right."

"Want to know something else?"

"Yes, yes. Go on."

"This is observation Veronica, I know nothing about it. But I see you as the new lynchpin of your family as your mom knows someone has to be in that role now that she's taken a body blow and it's not because you are the oldest daughter. You have what it takes baby – leadership qualities."

"That's bullshit, you are just pushing me to commit to the role."

"If you can't see that it's about time you did Veronica. Your mom will probably have a quiet word with you in the morning and tell you it's time for you to exercise the qualities she sees in you."

"Well mom will have a word with us on the morning... you can be sure of that," she laughed.

* * *

On Sunday at noon Jimmy had just entered the office at noon and kissed Dion before giving her the opportunity of seeing him in action with prospects to see if she could learn anything she thought was worthwhile when his phone went.

"Hi Veronica."

"So your mom did give you that little speech. I said she would. Well chin up and accept the mantle. Are you just leaving for home now? Good, I have Dion beside me. I'll pass you over and you can bring her up to date. I have not disclosed anything of the drama. Good luck being mother."

Dion took the phone and said hi. Jimmy walked out to sell a vehicle of two while she yapped on. He'd scared away on couple by his full-on approach and another couple asked him to leave them while they toured the showroom. At that point Dion joined him and said, "You have reinforced one marriage and wrecked another."

"It was already wrecked."

"That's what Veronica said. She is so grateful at what you have done for the family."

"Yeah, me and my big mouth. Right, eye on the ball. See this couple – they want to buy a new car, just look at their jaunty walk and smiles of confidence. But those smiles are fading as they see the price tags so what do we do?"

"Send them across to our pre-owned yard."

"Yeh but why lose an opportunity? Your mom has taken the low-mileage IS250 and the back-up one has high miles and has lost its gloss. How much can we let it go for?"

"How would I know?"

"Darling it's your job to know."

Dion flamed and said, "Don't you ever call me darling unless you are sweet-taking me."

"So much for commitment to learn from the master, er the would-be-master."

"I'm sorry. I must pick up these vital tips."

"Yeah, if you have to go off and check or even make a call you may lose your hot prospect. You ignore the manufacturer's suggested retail price. It's a base model and when we began using it as a demo four and a half months ago the dealer price was $82,375 and we are now authorized to let it go for as low as $22,000 but the boss would prefer at least $24,000."

"How do you know all that?"

"Darling I know everything I need to know about the twenty-one new cars and demonstrators for which we have responsibility. But enough of that. Hi guys, I'm Jimmy Palin, here's my card and this is my associate Dion King."

"Hi Lucy."

"Hi Dion. Are you showing this new boy the ropes?"

"Yes ma'am and I have yet to sell a set of wheels," said Jimmy who had not sold a vehicle that day. "But I have something out the back that might interest you guys. We are pricing pretty competitively at the moment. You can check out any quotes I give you with prices being offered on the Internet for comparison. You are obviously thinking Lexus otherwise you wouldn't be here or were you calling in Lucy for a chat with Dion?"

"No we are looking for a set of wheels as you term it. I didn't think the boss's daughter would be on the floor on a Sunday."

"Yeah, it was great for her to give up a Sunday at a cook-out getting drunk with her friends. You are doing the talking Lucy so it's polite to ask you what revs your motor – I mean what model?"

"We came looking for the sexy IS250 without really knowing what they cost. But Christ, $37,8500."

"Well if that's too much we can get the price down by whispering a bit of discount Lucy and the bare-bones car can save you dollars but cutback anything but the sound. The installed $400 sound package is exotic."

"Exotic?"

"Yeah it's 'x' not 'r'."

"What? Oh god, I hear you," Lucy giggled. "But I'm afraid it's too much."

"Well that's the best I can do for you Lucy. You'll find some sharper priced models over in our pre-owned yard over there but not an IS. People with them tend to hang on to them...their thinking is why break the dream."

"Excuse me?"

"Ignore me Lucy. Just stupid sales pitch. See that metallic Breakwater Blue IS250 coupe?"

"Yes, see it Russell?"

"Yeah, the all-wheel drive model."

"Lucy I can put you into a sold as new demonstrator rear wheel drive model with I think 5800 miles on the clock and its not quite five months old. I'll give you a price... if you just bear with me for a moment."

Jimmy flicked some buttons.

"Jesus."

"What?" Lucy asked anxiously. 

"I can give you..." Jimmy walked right to them and dragged in Russell by the arm closer.

Dion had to strain to hear what he said.

"This is rock bottom pricing, absolutely. No bargaining, understand?"

"Yes, the price is fixed at $25,300 if we want it."

"Oh, you'll want it Lucy. I can see you in it, driving like a princess and your friends with their mouths open in the Wow shape. Right take them to it and sell them a car Dion. It will be spick and span when you take delivery of it."

As Dion lead Lucy and Russell away Jimmy called, "Oh take your time to think about it Lucy. You can sign up today or tomorrow but any later than tomorrow and it will be gone." 

* * *

Dion and Jimmy were sipping coffee after selling two cars and listing three expressions of interest and being given phone numbers.

"That was a most successful day. God you could have easily had the pants off Lucy, even with Russell and me looking on. She was mesmerized by you."

"Nah, she just wanted an IS250 coupe and nothing less.

"You can bullshit clients Mr Palin but you can't bullshit me."

"How many IS250s are over there in the yard?"

"None, you said so."

"That's a red IS250 coupe on the revolving stand in their showroom."

"Oh god, you even sucked me in."

"I did say none in the yard Dion. It's in the showroom."

"Do you know all of the cars over there as well?"

"No, only every Lexus. I refer prospects to Claude and his team. As long as the company makes a sale who cares who gets the commission?"

"You have a very unusual attitude Mr Palin. Either you are very unusual or else you get kickbacks that daddy forbids."

Jimmy grinned and gave nothing away.

They went to a movie and then to dinner.

Jimmy took Dion's hand when they had a drink in the other hand. He said, "Is tonight the night."

"What night?"

"The night when I fuck you?"

He'd spoken softly but Dion still groan and blushed. "Jimmy, you must moderate the way you talk to women. None of them will have anything to do with you if they hear you talking like that."

"As you say dear."

"And don't call me dear; we're not married."

"Okay Dion. I'll try to make me like you. It will be no more difficult than enticing people to buy a car off me."

"What by spiel and deception?"

"What would I want to do that when all I have to do is to convince them there're right, they do wish to buy a car and I have just the one that's right for them providing they come up with the money. But with that out of the way, and you convinced I'm really quite a lovely guy, hold on to your seat baby while I tell you about your mother and father. This is what your mom wants me to do. She loves you but believes she'd be reduced to a sobbing mess attempting to tell you herself."

The longer Jimmy talked the whiter Dion became.

"Well that's it. She gave him to ultimatum to give up his lady friend or it was all over between them."

"Oh god, they should have confided in me for support."




Jimmy Palin You Asshole



"Which one would you have supported?"

"Both of them."

"But they were on opposite sides and would you wish, in the circumstances, to be seen to taking sides?"

"Oh god Jimmy, you know so much more than I do."

"Bullshit, you graduated college near the top of your year."

"But that means nothing."

"Crap, it means you still lack confidence and are not yet backing yourself. You have the knowledge baby, use it confidently and try not to be alarm if you are proven wrong or are challenged."

Showing signs of not likening being told how to act, and that in Jimmy's book was just being normal, Dion said, "So apparently you've saved a marriage?"

"Possibly. Your mother was confident I had, that your father would give up Lady X."

Dion frowned. "We should not use her name, should we?"

"Correct."

"My father will probably promote you into management over this."

"Well he can stick management for the time being. I'm with him to sell cars, not push paper across my desk."

"He won't like being told that."

"Oh no, then who wants to sell a record number of new cars during the current and the final quarter?"

"Daddy?"

Jimmy grinned and said he would have pleasure in reminding Jerry that should he try to stick him in an office. "Um about tonight..."

There meals arrived and they both looked at Jimmy's thick steak.

"Yes Jimmy, I probably want it as much as you do. Where?"

"Back home in my room..."

"Ohmigod no."

"... or on a rug on the riverbank. The security patrol would note the alarm was off if we used the office, keeping the lights switched off."

"No Jimmy not like that; it's not gross. Kids at high school do that. At your age earning the amount of money you ought to have your own apartment. Anything less than that is asking too much and that includes going to a grubby hotel.

Jimmy paused chewing his meat as if he were hearing something unbelievable.

"It's only sex Dion. Why this sudden change in attitude?"

Dion paused as if fighting to say it. And then: "Something has been gnawing at me and I think I should say it. Jimmy Palin, I have my doubts that you are good enough for me. You are all mouth and heart but lack real substance."

Jimmy spat out the chewed meat into a napkin help against his mouth. He pulled out money to cover the meal and said flatly, "Good night Dion."

He was a couple of tables away when Dion shouted loud enough for the entire restaurant and the kitchen workers to hear, "You asshole Jimmy Palin."

Well perhaps he was, Jimmy thought, driving away and only then realizing Dion would have to take a cab home.

The asshole grinned.

Jimmy arrived home. Charlotte was down in the basement dressed up in one of the costumes screaming for her father as he tortured her while Veronica was in the family room at the table helping Mia with school homework.

"Coffee guys?" 

"Hi, you're home early, yes please," Veronica said and Mia asked for milk.

"Have one of you called your mom tonight?"

"Yes Jimmy, Charlotte did before she went down with dad to play Mary Antoinette."

"Well I think one of you should do that every evening."

"We already have a roster working for that purpose Jimmy and a substitution system," Veronica smiled, not at all concerned that Jimmy was transgressing into her area of responsibility.

Her soft smile and thick ruby lips tugged at Jimmy as he thought selfishly of those lips smacking against the helmet of his cock and he said without thinking, perhaps smarting over Dion dropping the axe on him, "You look lovely this evening." 

The reply was simply a soft smile, a not usual exchange from her, but Mia looking at both of them open-mouthed magnified the comment. Veronica's blush deepened into a real beauty and Jimmy practically scampered to the kitchen.

They had finished their drinks, Jimmy sitting with them musing, when Mia said, "Am I welcome to join you two tonight?" It was embarrassing for her but said managed it without stumbling over the presumably rehearsed words.

Veronica appeared surprised and looked at Jimmy who nodded to her and she patted Mia on the arm and said, "Of course dear." She added, "Go off and shower Jimmy while Mia and I finish up here."

It was one of those beautiful occasions, softcore to the core. Just kissing and stroking with both young women playing with Jimmy and he kissing and tonguing them and then when Mia climbed into doggie pose, the taller Veronica straddled her and Jimmy fucked them both in alternative short bursts and when he was about to burst he fell on to his back and the sisters shared his ejaculation. 

In the morning Veronica stroked Jimmy and Mia whom she found in a sixty-nine when she awoke and when Mia sauntered off to get ready for senior high school Veronica received her morning fill.

Well, thought Jimmy, as Veronica straddled him to have her pussy licked out, what a perfect family, knowing of course not all was well within this family. He worried about Charlotte despite her assurances that her father only used weight clamps and vibrators on her and they never had real sex, per se. And of course he worried about Victoria.

Jimmy went to his job late, thinking why go early to be sacked. He was dusting a fully-featured LS460L AWD when Terry approached him looking worried. "I'm increasing your base salary by ten grand, effective immediately. I don't want to lose both of you."

"Both of us?"

"Yes, Dion has resigned and will seek new employment. I'm sorry it's not working out between you two but then again I'm not. You two are about as mis-matched as her mother and me but at least Britt is back doing her best to milk me dry. I have a lot to thank you for and you'll be repaid in due course when you tire of pushing cars on to people all day. How's Victoria?"

"Am I supposed to know you know Victoria?"

"Yes."

"Well she'd split from her husband and is hold up with her parents while attempting to turn around her life. The kids are very supportive of both parents with a bias towards their mother. The girls know whatever happens they will still have access to both parents."

"So what will Victoria do?"

"Find a new guy with big sex drive and who will keep her happy by loving her."

"You're a fucking romantic Jimmy."

"Is Victoria cold and calculating with high ideals like your wife and daughter?"

"Er no. What you just said is Victoria's kind of guy. Now just try to sell more cars will you. I've invested in you."

* * *

Weeks later everything had settled. Victoria was happy establishing a relationship with a cheerful house plumber who employed eleven plumbers. Meanwhile Victoria's ex-'plumber' husband had ousted Charlotte from the basement. The gynecologist had found a very robust woman from reception at the medical center who simply loved clamping him to the new super-deluxe bench installed in the basement and doing unspeakable things to him. Veronica had said to Jimmy she'd rarely seen her father looking so happy and it was so lovely that her mom's new guy was robust at everything he did to her and for her.

Jimmy arrived home from work to be greeted by three sisters. Charlotte and Mia had become very close since Charlotte's basement banishment, doing unspeakable things to one another judging by the groans that came from their room during the night. Mia held out a letter to Jimmy and said breathlessly, it's a wedding invitation. Jimmy had remained in email contact with his sister in case either she or her parents ran into trouble so she'd had his address. But the envelope address was in his mother's writing. 

At the bottom of the invitation for Jimmy and Partner to attend the wedding of Florence and Cheal his mom had written, 'Come home for this great event and make it a family reunification' and his father had added his bit, 'Yeah son, it's time'.

Jimmy had tears in his eyes when he handed the invitation to the sisters and they began weeping. A thunderous cry filled the hallway when 6ft 180lb Brenda entered and shouted, "Out the way your fucking coterie of gays."

The girls fled but Jimmy stood his ground. 

"Out of my way you wimp."

"Lay a finger on me and I'll rip your tits off."

Brenda back-pedaled. "Oh sorry Jimmy; have a lovely day selling those fancy cars?"

"Yes thanks Brenda and I want you to lay off those girls otherwise I'll sink my shoe up your ass."

"Yes Jimmy, whatever you say Jimmy."

Brenda fled to the basement.



CHAPTER 4

Jimmy and Veronica entered Raffles and she said, encouragingly, "Oh my, this is a pretty town." 

Well the plane trees on both sides of Main Street did add something. For the seventy-seventh time Jimmy saw Veronica looked at her engagement ring. 

They'd been having a coke and burger at a roadside pit stop when Jimmy said, "I'd like to ask you to marry me."

Face flaming Veronica said, "Go right ahead. I was expecting this."

Jimmy went down on both knees and everyone in the restaurant smiled when Veronica said, "No Jimmy, you do it with only one knee on the ground."

He proposed and she accepted.

Jimmy said they should buy a ring. Veronica laughed and said she had anticipated the moment and had purchased one she liked very much. She handed it to Jimmy and he placed it on the right finger without requiring instruction.

He said solemnly, "This is the proudest moment of my life" and people laughed when Veronica threw her arms around him and sobbed and said she loved him so much.

Florence as she appeared to be called now, kissed her brother enthusiastically while straining to look over his shoulder to take a good look at his partner. She whispered, "She looks adorable."

"Thanks Flo."

"Florence," she scolded. Cheal doesn't like abbreviated names."

"Isn't what you like that matters?"

"I like Cheal."

Jimmy grinned and introduced the two women who immediately were all over each other.

Reunion with his parents went without incident... they couldn't keep their eyes off Veronica and that was what Jimmy had expected.

The wedding was great and at the wedding breakfast to Jimmy's astonishment his father said, "I invite my son on behalf of the bride's family to welcome everybody to this important event for Cheal and Florence and their families."

Never lost for a word, Jimmy ripped into it and had people smiling as he spoke about growing up with older sister Florence and the worst thing he could remember her doing to him was to burn all his underpants after emptying the laundry basket and noticing a brown mark on one of them.

When the laughter died he said, "Cheal our family is handing over to you a lovely young lady that mom and dad did so well in preparing her for today. We all wish you two a very happy life together... or as mom would want me to say a very happy and productive life together. Thank you."

As Jimmy and Veronica were leaving next afternoon after the post-wedding lunch, Jimmy's mom Lisa held on to Veronica and said she didn't want Veronica to go. She cried, Veronica cried and Jimmy and his dad Paul rolled their eyes and grinned at each other. 

"Oh that was such a perfect wedding," Veronica sighed as they drove off, wiping her eyes before putting on her sunnies.

"I suppose so if you like all that yapping."

"Well I liked it. Florence and I have promised to become close friends. Jimmy said he was very pleased about that.

"What about you and Cheal?"

"Oh he's okay. I expect Florence to knock some of that uptightness out of him. I suggest you think about asking your mom and grandparents and sisters to lunch next Saturday. They will want to see the ring and your grandparents to look me over."

Veronica turned red.

"I had expected you would call your mom and sister about me proposing."

"Ah yes, I ought to have known you would have been on to me. What you suggest would be a wonderful. You mean for us to go to Hillsville?"

"Yes."

"What about mom's friend?"

"I suggest you don't say anything, leave the decision to her. I don't mind if he turns up."

"What if mom asks?"

"Deal with it my big girl; you know my attitude on this one."

* * *

Veronica was very happy to be engaged to marry. It didn't worry her knowing she'd been Jimmy's second choice. She knew it would not have worked out long term between Dion and Jimmy because Dion was too much up herself and would have upset things by attempting to modify Jimmy's behavior. 

Well Jimmy was an unrefined person, knew that and was comfortable about and so she'd decided to accept him over Tom Kempthorne. She'd had a couple of dates with Tom who was handsome and very pleasant mannered and they'd had sex on the second date and Tom them told her he'd loved her and had known that for sometime, having loved her from afar. That had been all very romantic but when awaking that night Veronica knew with absolute clarity the guy she wanted was Jimmy Palin, warts and all.

She knew what it was. Jimmy was switched on for perhaps eighty percent of the time whereas most guys were around forty to fifty percent. He discussed things he'd recently learned or asked Veronica about things he wanted to know and if he asked what she'd done that day and she'd reply she'd gone shopping he wouldn't think duh? like some guys would. No he's say something like, "What did you see that was good' or "I hope you bought sexy lingerie? The difference was he engaged. Okay he disgusted her at times with some of his Cretin comments but she was never sort of a laugh when in Jimmy's company and look at the way her sisters and mom fussed over him. And there was another thing... after they had sex he didn't turn away with a grunt. No, he'd remain engaged and stroke her, and give little kisses and whisper to her. To her Jimmy was the man.

They arrived home late but next morning Charlotte and Mia excitedly jumped into bed with them inspected the ring and kissed them both heaps, making Veronica so pleased they included Jimmy in what he called girls' stuff. He even gave them a reasonable description of the bridal gown and what Florence had been wearing when they left on their honeymoon.

And then Charlotte said something that was to breakup them as a foursome. 

"While you guys were away Brenda took the opportunity to move in here completely and her signs of occupancy are everywhere."

"God I'm glad I graduate in three weeks," said Mia. "I'll then see if I can live with mom until I go to college."

"Well, I'm out of here," Jimmy said. "Brenda will think it's here house now."

"I'll stay, Charlotte said. "Brenda and I are getting alone fine. She has a great set-up in the basement – she calls it a dungeon – and has been showing me what she does to daddy."

"Ohmigod, Jimmy can I share somewhere with you?"

"Sure baby... we are both earning big bucks, so let's get a well-appointed and roomy apartment."

Jimmy found an apartment that day close to where he worked. It had a great outlook over the river and Veronica really liked it; they signed up for the vacated and very modern dwelling, with immediate possession.

They arrived home that night to find Brenda had posted household duties for everyone and there was even a seating plan at the table. The sisters and Jimmy held a quick meeting in his room and Mia and Charlotte declined the invitation to move in with Veronica and Jimmy.

"Unless you wish to pay my college fees it's best I stay here," Mia said, being ever so practical.

Charlotte declined with a novel reason. "Brenda is teaching me so much and will assist me set up my own dungeon and is evening willing to act as Dungeon Mistress if I had difficulty finding a big, brawny woman for the role. She's persuaded father to give me $15,000 to set up and Brenda knows where cheap space is available in a renovated abandoned warehouse."

"Ohmigod Charlotte, no," Veronica cried.

"Jimmy?"

"Well it's your choice of career and I've always felt sex workers are not afforded the recognition they deserve... I mean the true professionals. It is an art, in fact one of the oldest in the book. It never fails to amaze me how people hold lawyers in high regard and regard sex workers contemptuously. Give me an honest, professionally motivated sex worker to a crooked attorney any day."

Charlotte kissed Jimmy in recognition of his support and stirring speech and Mia was also most impressed. She asked Charlotte was there any chance of being employed in the dungeon during college breaks.

"Oh no," Veronica cried in anguish.

The door flew open and Brenda said, "You girls out; you are not to be alone in a bedroom with Jimmy and that includes you Veronica. You girls should be out helping me with the meal. Jimmy, get your shoes off the bed covering."

Veronica said, "In that case Brenda, Jimmy and I will eat out tonight and that will ease your burden. We shall shift out tonight, giving you more freedom to exercise home rule."

Brenda helped fill the two cars, most of it being Veronica's stuff and she and the girls cried as Veronica prepared to leave home for the last time. Harry was busy in the dungeon installing a flogging bed so just shouted "Bye Veronica, bye Jimmy. I'll pay for the wedding so keep in touch."

Veronica left her home, sobbing and hunched as if she'd been banished.

Jimmy kissed her as she sat in her cheap, aged Japanese car and said, "Welcome to your first night of real freedom darling. You're on your way to your new home."

Veronica sobbed he was such an amazing darling.

They didn't quite make to the apartment for their first bout of sex. That was performed on the landing outside the elevator and as a couple stepped over them the guy said, "Our new neighbors have the right idea Jennie."

"Oooh," said Jennie, obviously being grabbed.

At Jimmy's request Veronica drove his SUV to her job as a production assistant at the local TV station, and affiliate of CBS. Jimmy argued it was time to upgrade her vehicle, that it looked a disgrace parked alongside his in the basement of their apartment building.

"God, talk about Dion being up herself," Veronica fumed. "When it comes to vehicles Jimmy acts no differently."

When she arrived at the TV station she walked in from the parking lot with the director of finance who had waited for her as she drove in and parked.

"Hi Veronica. Glad to see you have upgraded from that piece of crap you were driving. It's a wonder you hadn't been asked to park a block away from here."

She cringed.

Moments later she heard a news editor arguing with the executive director of production over last night's clip about car salespeople being criticized for using sly tactics to clinch sales. The order from above was to get a response from someone in the industry.

"Who the fuck can we talk to?" asked the news editor. The young ones are all a bunch of bullshit twits and the old honest ones fat from their spoils sound unbelievable."

Veronica butted in, "My live-in boyfriend is a young shot-shot salesperson at Gold Star Motors who'll be very personable on camera. Goes by the name of Jimmy Palin. Send that reporter Paula Ryan. She's a hard-nosed bitch and will bring the best out of Jimmy."

"Come with me and we'll talk to the duty editor," Veronica was told.

* * *

Jimmy had seen the TV crew arrive but took no notice. TV crews didn't buy luxury cars like the one he was dusting. The next thing Jerry came up to him with a fat babe with small tits and a hooked nose.

Jimmy agreed to be interviewed and a technician played the clip from the previous evening that Jimmy hadn't seen. Paula briefed him of the questions she'd asked and said she wanted truthful answers presented passionately. Paula looked at Jerry and Jerry said, "Do what the lady wants Jimmy."

Paula got things rolling and after the introduction began her interview.

Paula: Jimmy what did you think of that indictment of new vehicle salespeople we ran last night?