11 comments/ 14211 views/ 2 favorites Ghostly Love By: Luckie_Duckie Outskirts of Charles Town, North Carolina End of the Reign of Queen Anne; 1712 Kell took another deep drink of brandy. The smooth burning liquid slid down his throat painfully, yet easing his own pain with each drink. Sitting on his mother's favorite settee, he stretched his legs out toward the warmth of the fire. He kept his boots on, despite the fact that both is mother and Mrs. O'Donnell hated when he wore boots in the house after working in the fields. It didn't matter though. Nothing mattered anymore. Taking yet another swallow of the decadent liquid, he finished off his glass. Setting it on his thigh, he let his head roll back, languishing in self pity. Why did everything always happen to him? Did God hate him so damn much? A sudden lurch of rage and self loathing bit into him deeply. If the would could have caused a physical wound, he would have bled to death. Standing, Kell began to pace in the saloon. Why couldn't he have been there for her? Why the hell couldn't he have been there? Bile and hated boiled up inside his throat. A sudden image flooded his mind as he stood. His mother sitting on the edge of his bed when he was seven. He'd had scarlet fever and she wouldn't leave his side. She'd fed him broth of chicken, and wiped his forehead with cool cloths. He'd been so scared, but she had always calmed his fears, never leaving his side. And he'd survived. And now she was gone. "Why?" Kell screamed and threw the delicate crystal glass into the fireplace. It shattered, breaking into a million pieces. Kell fell to his knees screaming obscenities, and began to hit the hardwood floor with his fists. He hit them against the floor until they bled, ached under the force and pressure he put on them. The pain felt good, it was something he knew. Physical pain he could deal with. He couldn't deal with this emotional kind of pain. Through his torment, the fire in the hearth played, dancing over his features. Casting shadows that moved and pulsed through the room. As Kell broke down into sobs and bloodied fists, the fire grew bright. Anger, hate and guilt spread through the room like a foul disease. "Kelloch Alistair," Mrs. O'Donnell ran into the room, full of swinging skirts and apprehension. Her normally full and ruddy face was bright with anger. "You close that big mouth of yours and quit yer drinking! Your sister's upstairs bawling something fierce. Your banging and was that glass breaking?-is making her even more crazed." Kell stood swaying on his feet. He was feeling the effects of the alcohol now. His vision was blurred around the edges, and he was slightly off balance when he stood. He caught himself on the edge of the settee, and closed his eyes against sudden nausea. When the world had quit its infernal spinning he glared at Mrs. O'Donnell. "I am the master and head of this house, Mrs. O'Donnell. You will listen to my orders, and no other. Is that quite understood? If I wish to yell, drink or whatever else I find pleasing, I will, and you will not order me about." Kell brushed past her, staggering as he went. "Begging your pardon sir, but I would rather take orders form the devil himself than you while you've been drinking, my young sir." Mrs. O'Donnell turned to watch Kell turn around and face her. "Tis the blinking truth that not long ago you were under my charge." "I'm a man now, Mrs. O'Donnell. I'm twenty and four years of age. And by God, I am a man. I'm the bloody Baron of Jamison, Viscount Havisham, Earl Townsende, and Duke Hawthorne. I am a bloody man!" Kell raged at his former nanny. The woman wasn't impressed in his show of temper. "Nay, your no man, Kell. Until you've a proper wife and child, with normal sensibilities, you will be man. Not just for your age, nor any title you carry in a country an ocean away. No." Mrs. O'Donnell shook her head at him and began to ascend the stairs to check on his sister. Kell staggered back into the saloon and grabbed the decanter of brandy off the side table, he fell onto the sitting couch. Pulling the top of the crystal decanter off of the brandy, he threw the crystal piece into the fireplace, letting it break just outside the hearth. Bringing the dark liquid to his lips, he took a long, deep swallow. Pulling the bottle away from his lips, to dark lines of the rich alcohol rolled down his jaw to drip on his pristine white starched shirt. Sitting up, he tore his blue dinner dress jacket off of his arms, before falling back onto the sitting couch. Kell woke the next morning to a pounding headache. Groaning, he pressed his hand to his head, and cursed his very existence. Sitting up slowly, he wincing over the pain in his skull. Muttering another distasteful blasphemy, he opened his eyes and blinked at the brightens of the daylight. Someone had opened the drapes already, causing the morning light to stream directly into his eyes. He had a distinct impression that someone did that on purpose, in punishment for the ruckus he had caused the night before. He was going to have a very stern talk with the Mrs. O'Donnell after breakfast. The devil take that Irish woman, she was very well going to be the death of him. "Bloody Hell," he muttered quietly to himself, as he blinked at the bright light. Glancing down, he saw the decanter at his feet, only the barest traces of brandy left. Ah, how he would do anything for another glass of the liquid. Anything to rid of him of his foul humor. "Well good morrow to you too, Kelloch." A deep rumbling male voice said brightly from his left. Glancing up, Kell wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. "What? You arn't going to bid me a good morrow?" Kell shook his head before wincing over the pain. "Nay, Sir Oliver." Standing, his knees felt as if they were made of water. With out much choice, he sank back down on to the sitting couch. How had he gotten here? By boat, you dolt, he said to himself. Shaking his head mentally, he forced himself to relax. "Why are you here, Oliver?" "Why, my lord, you should know why." Kell shook his head. "I've only just returned to the colonies. I refuse to leave again." Kell glared up at his peer. "Dolt, do you not know my mother has died this past night?" Oliver shrugged and sat in the plush chair across from Kell. "That matters not to me. It has no bearing to my duty." Kell wished he hadn't drank so much the night before, he would sure like to beat the living hell out of Sir Oliver. What bloody right did he have to be here. "I'm not going back, Sir Oliver." "Yes, you are, Kelloch." "Don't call me that." Running on pure outrage of Oliver's outlandish disrespect, Kell stood. "Do not forget, Sir Oliver, that I outrank you. You've not land nor title." "True, my lord, I do not." "I want you out of my house." Kell demanded. Standing, Oliver sighed. "You won't come with me?" "Nay, I won't Oliver." Oliver shook his head, and sighed again. "I wish it had not come to this, your grace." Suddenly, Oliver had a brandished gun in his right hand. Before Kell could say a word of protest, Oliver shot the Duke in the heart. Walking to the door at the front of the house, Oliver looked back to be sure that he was indeed dead. A pity that. Killing the young Duke, but one must do what one has been paid to do, he thought grimly to himself. A pity. Kell lay on the floor motionless. Searing pain raced through his veins. Unable to summon the energy it took to open his eyes, Kell welcomed the blissful numbness as it stole over him, like a warm wool blanket. And he knew no more. ~~~~~~~~ Charleston, North Carolina Late Spring, 2004 Brenda Cottonwood applied the final touches of lipstick. Closing the lipstick she tossed it back into her makeup drawer and examined herself in the mirror. She was tall, five eight, and on the slightly chubby side. Her dark medium length hair was pulled back, pulled into a french twist. Her dress was classic, yet new aged at the same time. The simple black frock sported spaghetti straps, and a slight A-line. The bodice was tight, and low cut, showing the tops of her creamy white breasts, while the back was a mess of ties. It was cut low in the back as well, just coming together as it hit her bottom. She hoped she looked all right. Grabbing her glasses off the counter in front of her, she slid them on and sighed. She wished she could wear contacts, but the bloody things always made her eyes red and puffy. It didn't matter though. She wanted to sport her new thick black, square framed glasses. She thought they were very Buddy Holly. Smiling to herself, the glasses matched the outfit surprisingly. She hadn't even thought of that. Steadying herself on the counter, she slipped into her one inch, square toe heals. As much as Bren hated heals, these ones weren't to bad on her feet. She smiled once more at herself in the mirror before hearing her door bell. Blowing a kiss at herself, she snatched her purse and black shawl and raced toward the door. Taking a deep breath, Bren tried to calm her racing heart. It was just Daniel. It wasn't like it was someone she didn't know. Shaking her head over her own stupid thoughts, she forced herself to exhale the breath she had been holding. She'd been out with Dan before, so why this night was different, she didn't know. Weaving her way between packed boxes, she reached the front door with out tripping once. Bully for her. Unlatching the dead bolt, she opened the door with a bright smile on her face. Daniel Enhert stood in her door way, his face blank of all emotion. "Hi." Brenda tried to force herself into looking more normal than she knew she looked. Normally, she detested dresses. Skirts too. They just weren't her style. Give her a pair of jeans and a comfy t-shirt and she was a happy girl. She stared at Daniel. He'd never seen her in anything besides shorts and jeans, and the look on his face suggested that he didn't like what she was wearing in the least. "You don't like it." She tried not to let her disappointment show. They had been going together for almost a year, so when he finally asked her to accompany him to one of his firm's dinners, she had been ecstatic. It looked like he thought he should leave her home now. "Don't you think its," he let his gaze roam over her body, before returning to her eyes. Raising an eyebrow he continued, "a bit much?" Brenda looked down at herself. No, she hadn't thought so, but if Daniel did, maybe she should change. He had said it was a formal affair, and since she hadn't had any formal wear, she had gone shopping. Luckily, she had believed, she had found this very wonderfully done almost nineteenth century dress. It would have been such if it hadn't ended just below her knees and dipped so low in the back. Running her hands over the delicate glass beads embroidered in the satin fabric, she wondered if it was indeed a bit much. Well, hell. Daniel went to these things all the time, and if he thought it was a bit much, than it must be. "I'm sorry, Daniel." Brenda looked away and dropped her hand from her bodice. "I would change, but this is the only dress I own." Sighing loudly, Daniel shook his head. "Well, then I guess it will have to do." He sounded terribly angry with her. Or was it disappointment? Bren wasn't sure she knew which was worse. Disappointment or anger? Should she apologize? "I'm sorry, Daniel. I thought it to be appropriate." "Only if your going to a swanky cocktail party." Impatiently he held his hand out and sighed. "Lets go, or we'll be late." Nodding, Brenda closed the door and locked it behind her. She wished Daniel would be so upset with her. She'd tried to make him happy with her appearance. Couldn't he at least say one word of praise? No, she knew him better than that. Daniel didn't give praise, especially if it were deserving of it. He was definitely a dud. Sighing to herself, she let him lead her to his very fashionable car. The Porche had cost him a pretty penny, she knew, but his family consisted of money. All of them lawyers, mostly prosecuting attorneys. His grandfather had been the Attorney General for the United States, back in the seventies. After that, anyone in his family who even thought to be an attorney could charge exorbitant fees. They were the white family version of Johnny Cochran. "I'm glad you found the place so easily." Trying to brighten the mood, she moved the topic to her newly purchased house. "I was hoping you wouldn't get lost." Daniel opened her door and helped her into the low slung sports car. "It wasn't that hard." He informed her. "What day did you move in?" "Two weeks ago yesterday." Brenda said as he closed the door. She waited until he had gotten in and started the car before she continued. "I took a week off from work, last week, so I could work on unpacking. Jenna kept the shop going." Jenna was her best friend and co-founder of the most popular bistro and bakery in the city. Servello was her pride and joy. While she worked the kitchen, Jenna worked as management, making employee schedules, interviews, firing. Paperwork. Essentially, Jenna did the paper work, and Brenda made the product. It was a fair trade. Jenna liked cooking, but wasn't as talented as Brenda, while Brenda hated paperwork and money handling with a passion. "That great." Daniel said as he turned off of her new street and headed for the freeway. "So how do you like the new place?" Brenda smiled. How did she like it? She loved it. Brenda considered herself incredibly lucky to find such a steal on the market. The old plantation house had originally been built in the late seventeenth century. The grounds around it, slowly had been sold off in time, but she still had a goodly sized yard. Almost a quarter acre on each side of the house, and another five in the back. The front was only fifty feet from sidewalk to porch, but that was much more than she ever asked for. True, it needed some work, mostly small things, but Brenda was more than willing to put the effort into her new home. It needed to be painted. It was currently yellow, with white shutters, and white porch and balconies, as well as columns. The white she didn't mind, but the yellow had to go. All the paint was pealing. The plumbing was in good repair, as was most of the house. "I need to buffer the hard wood floors, paint, inside and out, and replace the appliances in the kitchen. I honestly can't believe it was such a steal." Shaking her head, she leaned back against the leather seat. "Do you know how much I am paying for that house? One hundred ninety thousand. That's it. It came with furniture too. It's in good repair, with those few exceptions." "You were lucky." Dan nodded as he turned off of the freeway. "Yes, I was. I even had an inspector come out. He said the house could have easily gone for five times that amount if not more. Can you believe it?" Brenda shook her head one last time. "What color do you think I should paint the house? I was thinking a soft baby blue." "That would be nice. Or you could go all white." Brenda nodded. "I wish I could find out what the original color had been. I would like to restore it to that." "What ever you choose, I know it will look good, Babe." Daniel smiled over at her as he turned into a large country club. "We're here. Now, just be yourself, and I know everyone will like you." * *~*AUTHORS NOTE*~* Thanks to everyone who has helped me on this! Heather, you were a great insperation, thank you!! More chapters to follow if people tell me they like it! Thanks again all! Comments keep me writing!~*~* Ghostly Love To my readers, please feel free to leave feedback for me so that I know that you liked my stories, what you would like to see, and perhaps maybe suggest one. Please also vote on how you liked it, every vote does count. If you'd like to read it over and over again, favorite it and come back to enjoy it like an old friend. I look forward to hearing from you...K'Anne * The first time Stacey saw her it was out of the corner of her eye. It was one of those moments when you see something but aren't sure. Your hair maybe falls forward and moves into your line of sight but when you really look there is nothing to see. The second time she saw her it was a little more defined, the moment wasn't a second as before but she could have counted a full five seconds before she disappeared. Stacey didn't think she was going crazy, she knew she already was, deep down. Actually, all her life she had been able to sense people. Whether they were there or not wasn't the point. Stacey knew. It was her sixth sense. Other people might joke about it, call themselves crazy but Stacey knew. She had been visited many times as she grew up. The fears of a monster under a child's bed was nothing in comparison to the fears of someone visiting you who wasn't alive, who didn't have flesh and blood. As she grew up and realized the enormity of her 'gift' she began to study on the subject to understand it better and to perhaps lesson her fear. She realized then that there were a lot of crazies in this world and many of them spouted things they had no business sharing. Many of them had no real clue about the hereafter or about visits from beyond. The enormity of what she experienced from time to time sank in during her late teens. When everyone else was worrying about boys and schools and a million other little things of teenaged angst, Stacey was dealing with the fact that she was some sort of conduit to supernatural beings. It didn't happen all the time but often enough that she accepted the inevitable and didn't start in surprise to find someone in her home or even out on the street who wasn't really there. She usually looked at them curiously and wondered why they appeared to her and her alone. Sometimes she realized that with a start of surprise they too were amazed that she could see them. There was nothing remarkable about Stacey that this gift should be given to her. She was 5'4" tall with braces on her teeth and freckles on her nose and a pair of glasses that she was constantly pushing back up on her nose. She was short and dumpy and unremarkable in the fullest sense of the word. Her teenage years were as miserable as anyone else's. She would never be chosen for the cheerleading squad, even if she had wanted it. She wasn't popular, she wasn't pretty, and she went through high school with fairly average grades hoping to be unnoticed by all. She had very few friends and none of them knew of her 'gift.' She knew better than to share that bit of information with anyone, they would have locked her up in a heartbeat. Besides the usual teenage angst, she saw things that weren't there, who could possibly understand her? The summer before her senior year of high school though something amazing happened. One of the apparitions spoke to her. She realized she had been hearing them for a long time but not listening. There is a big difference between hearing and listening and a lot of people don't realize that, whether they are alive or dead. Stacey learned it that summer. It was when she met HER. The first time as a glance, the second for a full five seconds as though she were testing Stacey to see if she were worthy enough to see her, to hear her. The apparition came as an attractive blonde haired woman when she was finally able to actually see her, all of her. Stacey sensed right away that this time was different, that this one meant business. Strangely she wasn't afraid. The woman was dressed in modern almost futuristic clothes with black leather pants on her slender waist and a blue satiny looking blouse that crossed over her breasts and tucked in the pants beautifully and she looked at Stacey as though waiting, waiting for something... Since Stacey was alone this particular time she smiled and said "hello" out of politeness. The strange woman smiled in response. Stacey stared. The woman had understood her and responded! Her other appearances by apparitions had never responded and instead usually disappeared shortly after appearing. It was how Stacey had learned to be unafraid, they never stayed long. "You understood me?" Stacey asked and then was surprised when the woman nodded. Holy cow! she thought as she stood there and wondered what to ask next. Then of course she thought of the many times she had wanted to ask her ghostly visitors the one question they never could she said "is there something I can do for you?" The woman smiled her beautiful smile again and nodded. Stacey looked at her or rather through her as she floated there. She had always thought it silly that ghosts on tv were depicted as though they would bob there in thin air. Her ghosts had never done that and this one certainly didn't. She kind of shimmered but she was standing there just as anyone else would. She looked to be about 5'7", her hair was a deep chestnut brown and strangely Stacey could see the highlights in it as it hung almost to the woman's waist. She had long elegant fingers, was thin, and had one of the most arresting faces that Stacey had seen in a long time. She started realizing the woman had been standing there waiting as Stacey examined her. "what can I do for you?" she asked not expecting a verbal response, her apparitions never spoke. "Actually I am here to help you" the woman spoke in a melodic voice that Stacey immediately found soothing. Her heart though was beating uncontrollably. "Your here to help ME?" she asked incredulously. "Stacey!" her mother beat on her door "who are you talking to in there?" The woman disappeared in an instant and Stacey blinked a moment before answering her door. "No one Mom, why?" Her mother opened the door suddenly and looked at her suspiciously and even peered over her shoulder to see if she were hiding someone in her room. "I thought I heard voices" she said confused. Stacey shrugged and out waited her mom knowing she would give up soon and she did as she walked away shaking her head at hearing 'things.' Stacey smiled as she closed and locked her door hoping to see the woman again. It was a week of boring summer vacation before she saw the lovely woman again. She was dressed the same and this time Stacey noticed she was wearing anklet boots in a really cool style. Stacey wished she could pull off that look but with her dumpy little body there was no possible way. "Hello" she said to Stacey first this time. "Hi" Stacey breathed actually pleased to see one of her ghostly encounters for a change. She didn't know why but she was intrigued by this one. The woman smiled and it made her face even more beautiful if that were possible. Her long hair, her matching plucked eyebrows, her short forehead and her amazing eyes seemed clearer this time to Stacey. "You said last time that you were here to help me?" Stacey asked. It had bothered her all week and she had to know. The woman nodded. "I was sent in answer to a request you made" she responded in her amazing voice. "A request?" Stacey asked confused. She didn't remember making a request. The woman nodded again and said as she pointed at the mirror over Stacey's dresser, "you asked to be prettier and to meet someone someday" she mentioned. Stacey felt the shock. She had said it one day as she looked in alarm at her braces, her freckles, her acne, and her dull brown hair as well as her dumpy figure. She had said it when she was alone and down in the dumps after an awful day at school. She certainly didn't expect a response. "I know it's hard to understand but I am here to help you achieve what you wanted" the woman told her. Stacey looked at her incredulously and asked "do you wave your magic wand or what?" The woman laughed a genuine laugh at Stacey's question. Its melodic tones did something to Stacey's insides. "No, it's not like that but I am here to offer help and advice. You can take my suggestions or not as you wish." Stacey looked at her as she considered what they were talking about. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and it was then that she realized there was no reflection of her visitor in the mirror. It was drilled home at that moment that her visitor wasn't really there. She knew it wasn't in her mind, she could actually see her, and she could almost touch her. "What do you suggest?" Stacey asked then realizing it couldn't hurt to follow the woman's advice. The woman smiled as she realized Stacey had accepted her help without a fight, without argument. "When do you get your braces off?" she asked. "In two weeks my two years of servitude to them will be over" Stacey said in resignation. "That will change a lot of your appearance that you so detest" the woman said astutely. "There are other things we can do if you are willing." She waited for Stacey's response. That night at dinner Stacey only ate salad. Her mother fretted over this almost immediately. They were a meat and potatoes household and she thought perhaps Stacey was coming down with something. Tempted as Stacey was to fill her plate with the normal beef, potatoes, and other butter filled vegetables she remembered her new friend's advice and stayed on the salad. She had two helpings to be sure and the lettuce, tomatoes, and carrots didn't seem to fill her full but she followed it with large glasses of water and this filled in the empty feeling in her stomach. After dinner she took the dog for a long walk around the blocks she had grown up with as a kid. She knew exactly when the woman appeared as her dog stopped dead and refused to walk another step. She looked up with a smile at her friend and turned so that the dog didn't have to go anywhere near the apparition that had scared him. As it was he looked over his shoulder fearfully the entire walk home. Stacey had to assume that her new found friend followed them the whole way. Stacey asked and was allowed to make an eye appointment. When she told the optometrist that she wanted contacts or laser surgery he fitted her for the contacts. She was pleased when they arrived two weeks later and she could try them out. She was amazed at the difference with her glasses gone and her braces off how much her face changed in appearance. Stacey started going to the local pool but she chose a time she knew none of the local kids would be going. As a result she met a lot of senior citizens and despite the age disparity she actually enjoyed talking to them. She did laps every day and as summer progressed was able to do more and more as her stamina increased. Her diet of fruits, vegetables, and salads kept her on the straight and narrow despite her mother's worry that she wasn't getting enough to eat. Her nightly walks got longer and longer. Her nightly talks with her new friend too were longer and longer and more involved. Stacey could ask her anything and learned a lot about the 'hereafter' or so she thought she did. She realized though that the woman wasn't really telling her any secrets, nothing she hadn't learned herself from her careful research over the years. She could share with the woman though as she never could before with anyone else. The woman practically knew everything about Stacey already but still they found things to talk about. Within a month Stacey had taken to wearing a belt, her jeans no longer could be held up without one. Within the second month she no longer had to keep her shirts untucked to hide her weight, she could tuck them into her belted jeans. Her mother fretted that she was starving herself thin but she pointed out that it was her healthy routine that was the cause and not a lack of food. She still ate a lot but it was of vegetables, fruit, and salad with plenty of water during the day. As the summer came to a close Stacey was instructed by her friend on makeup, personal hygiene, and clothes. Her normal clothes no longer fit without massive alterations. Her mother this year let her take her allowance for school clothes and shop alone. She felt she was old enough and responsible enough to do it all herself, after all she was going to be a senior in high school this year. On the advice of her ghostly friend she also got her hair styled, and with the streaks from the pool in it, it looked incredibly professional and good on Stacey. With a makeover and new clothes Stacey didn't recognize the fat little girl who had previously inhabited her bedroom as she gazed in her mirror. The diet, the exercise, and the friendship had helped mold a chubby little girl into an attractive young woman. With the braces gone her teeth were perfectly straight. With her glasses gone she was no longer pushing them up her long nose which looked amazingly pretty with its dusting of freckles which she could hide if she so chose with the makeup she had learned to apply. Her eyes now looked fantastic with the eyeliner, the shadow, and the mascara expertly applied. Her eyebrows no longer looked caveman and bushy and were impeccably plucked and sculpted. A new thinner Stacey appeared in the mirror before her. She felt confident and proud. She sensed she wasn't the only one pleased with what she had accomplished as she looked over her shoulder at the now familiar woman. "Are you pleased with what you have accomplished?" she asked in her beautiful voice. Stacey nodded as she turned to look at her friend "you know, all this summer we have talked and shared but I still don't know your name." The woman smiled in response and nodded "it was not for me to volunteer, I could not tell you until you asked." "You couldn't?" she asked confused. "No, it is one of those weird little rules I told you about" she smiled in remembrance of one of their many conversations. Stacey waited and then asked again "well, what is it?" "It's Renata" she laughed her tinkling laugh and it made Stacey smile in response. They had talked all summer and she just finally had asked for her strange friend's name. It was kind of funny. The name 'Renata' though fit her perfectly. She looked like a 'Renata' whatever that was but to Stacey it suited her. Stacey's first day back to school after the long summer break was nerve racking. She hadn't seen Renata in a few days but she knows she is there whether she 'sees' her or not. She had already helped Stacey choose what to wear for her first day back. For once in her life she is going to wear a short dress and heels to school. Her backpack contains all her school supplies and a little packet containing blush, shadow, liner, and lipstick, the essentials just in case she needs to refresh her look at some point during the day. "You look very nice" her mother compliments her when she saw her at breakfast. She actually is very proud of what Stacey has done this summer to transform herself. She had been worried as any mom worries about her teenage daughter but Stacey was healthy and she seemed happy. As Stacey made her way to the bus stop she saw many of the neighborhood kids waiting already. No one had really noticed her this summer and since she didn't 'hang out' with anyone really it had been easy to be ignored all summer long. That wasn't the case now as she walked to the stop, several people were standing there shocked with their mouths open in surprise. "Stacey?" a pretty girl approached her in surprise. "Hi Maddy" Stacey responded with a smile which showed off her now brace free perfect smile. "What did you do to yourself?" she asked trying to mask her surprise and failing. Stacey shrugged "I got rid of my braces and glasses" she made little of the transformation but inside she was thanking Renata for all the inspiration and advice. She knew the pretty girl in the mirror was her now and everyone couldn't help but see. As she got on the bus a silence came over it as those she had known, some since kindergarten took in her transformation. "Hey yo, Stacey" Ellie called making room for her on her seat. "Hi Ellie" she smiled as she sat down carefully so her short skirt didn't ride up. "How was California?" "Beautiful but apparently I missed something this summer?" Stacey laughed but didn't reveal her secrets, she was going to enjoy every bit of this. Time and time again all day long people were stunned stupid at her new look. A few teachers even were surprised, some she had all four years of high school didn't recognize her right away when they called her name for attendance and looked for her in the crowd. It was a totally wonderful day for the teen and Stacey hugged the feeling to herself. It was weeks later that Renata appeared so Stacey could tell her everything. Renata's smile over Stacey's enjoyment of her first few weeks of school was a sight to see. A few weeks later though it presented a problem that Stacey had never had before, guys were asking her out for the homecoming dance. She had never in her four years of high school even gone to a dance. Renata showed her how to dance not only a waltz and other older dances but new ones to current music. Watching her see through friend dance to hip hop music was a sight to see and Stacey collapsed in laughter time and again. It wasn't that Renata wasn't good, she was, but seeing through the ghostly apparition was funny. Allan Cummings took her to her first dance. It was pleasant and he made sure he gave her a wrist corsage but for Stacey it was all about seeing everyone dressed up in their finery. She didn't especially care for Allan and she knew he expected a kiss at the end of the night which she obliged him with but there was no spark, no electricity with him. After the dance he asked her out a few times and she went for forms sake but again, she felt nothing when he kissed her and pawed her teenage body that was turning curvaceous. "Damn Renata, is this all there is?" she asked in disgust. She had gone out with a couple of other guys at this point and Christmas vacation was looming. None of them did anything for her and she could tell that she kissed better than most of them at this point. Apparently some things came naturally to some people. "Someone will come along who sparks that interest, I promise you, you just need to be patient" she said with her soothing voice a hint of a smile on her lovely face as she discussed things with her friend. "Yeah but when?" Stacey said exasperated, she wasn't thrilled with them pawing her and a lot of the time swapping spit with them was gross. "All in time, all in time" she smiled and asked "you didn't really think you'd meet the man of your dreams in high school did you?" Stacey looked up and through her friend and sighed "no, I guess not." "Then relax and have fun, high school is a testing ground for this sort of thing. Don't do anything you wouldn't want to do and enjoy what pleasures you get" she advised. Stacey had to admit Renata was right. In fact when she thought about it, she was always right. That was okay, she hadn't steered Stacey wrong even once since she had met her and since Renata came into her world she had stopped seeing so many other ghostly images which suited her fine. Stacey did have a lot of fun her senior year. She made a lot of friends but no one she knew that would be lasting. If they hadn't seen her in years past she knew they were only seeing her now because of her looks. She didn't want superficial friends like that and was pleasant to everyone. She got invited to a lot of things she wouldn't have before because of her looks and while she went to a lot of parties and other social niceties she took it all with a grain of salt. Ghostly Love Her first year of college would have been terrible but Renata appeared that first week and comforted the homesick girl. She had chosen a college well away from home to get the full 'college' experience and now she was lonely for all that was familiar her whole life. Renata was the one comfort she could count on. She made friends, some of these were genuine and not based on her looks. No one knew the Stacey of old with her braces and glasses and chubby looks. Now they only saw the pretty girl whose personality drew them like magnets. With Renata's coaching she began to enjoy college life and she began to date some of the college men she met. As in high school no one seemed right. By her first spring she resented the men and boys who touched her and thought perhaps there was something wrong with her but Renata assured her there wasn't, to be patient. Stacey decided to concentrate on her studies, after all she was at college to get a degree so she could go out in the world and get a decent job to support herself. It was her sophomore year that she met Melanie who had a similar experience with the men and boys on campus that she shared with Stacey one night over chem lab studies. Stacey hated chemistry and Melanie was a whiz at it so they teamed up and Stacey was passing with flying colors. She helped Melanie with advanced calculus with the same devotion that Melanie helped her with chemistry and they both were happy with the arrangement. "Stacey, have you ever felt an attraction for someone you shouldn't be attracted to?" Melanie asked her one night as they studied late. Stacey looked up from her books where she was trying to remember things for the following day's exam and considered Melanie's question. Shrugging she shook her head "I don't think I have..." "I'm so sick of guys pawing over me thinking they are going to get laid" she sighed exasperated. Stacey grinned, with that she could agree! "I know what you mean, it's like they think we are there for their convenience." "I've just about given up on men" Melanie said. Stacey frowned and asked "are you going to become a nun?" Melanie laughed and said "no, I don't think so, I think I might like to jump the fence." Stacey looked at her puzzled and asked "jump the fence?" not sure what that meant. Melanie grinned at her friend's naiveté "you know, go over to the other side?" Stacey shook her head still not understanding. "Date women" Melanie said in exasperation at Stacey's obtuseness. Stacey's eyes opened wide. Of course, that made sense! As the reality of what Melanie said sank in on her consciousness she realized that that was what was wrong with the whole dating scene for her. The men she thought she was attracted to just did nothing for her. Maybe this was the answer! "Are you shocked?" Melanie asked worried. Stacey shook her head and said "I don't think you are wrong." "I'm not?" Melanie was surprised at Stacey's answer. Stacey shook her head and said "no, if men aren't doing 'it' for you, why not try women?" "I'm surprised you are that open minded about it" Melanie answered. "Me too" Stacey answered with a little laugh. They discussed the possibilities back and forth but as they were essentially done studying for the night it didn't interfere with their tests for the next day. Both of them discussed various women on campus that might do 'it' for them. They really weren't thinking about sex but rather women they could be attracted to who might even return that attraction. The thought of actual sex with a woman was the farthest thing from their minds at this point in the beginning of their discovery. Stacey had an ace up her sleeve though that Melanie couldn't understand. She had Renata to talk to. While living in a dorm with a stranger each year Stacey's newest roommate spent more time getting laid with the frat boys than studying so Stacey frequently had her dorm room to herself and could talk to her ghostly friend. "Renata" she whispered hoping she would appear. She looked around and saw nothing. Rarely did her ghostly friend appear on command when Stacey wanted it but rather when she needed it. Stacey's interpretation of need and Renata's apparently differed. It was weeks before Renata appeared and Stacey was relieved to finally see her. She had come to depend on Renata but at the same time she resented that she couldn't see her any time she wanted to. "Hi there" Renata greeted her appearing one late night after a long night of studying and conversation with Melanie. Melanie had gone ahead and met someone and had been sharing with Stacey the delights of 'making out' with a woman versus a man. She hadn't gone 'all the way' but she was rapidly heading towards it. "Renata, thank goodness, I thought you had left me forever" Stacey greeted her with a smile. She would have gone to hug her but it was a little difficult when she wasn't totally there. She had accidentally walked through her once and the feeling against her body was something she didn't care to repeat. It she didn't know that she had that sixth sense, she would have been frightened by the icy cold fingers that went through her own solid body at the touch of Renata's. "I've told you, I'm with you always" Renata responded with a smile at Stacey's enthusiasm. "I need to talk to you, I have been talking with my friend Melanie" she halted for a moment unsure how much her friend knew, but then she knew everything didn't she? "You know Melanie?" at Renata's nod Stacey went on to describe the many conversations that they had had regarding dating women and while Melanie had gone ahead with it Stacey hadn't the nerve. "Do you feel comfortable with that idea?" Renata asked soothingly. "I don't know but I know I'm intrigued by the idea" Stacey said thoughtfully. "I know dating men hasn't appealed in a long time, I resent the feeling that they are taking over my body when they grope me, that they are in 'control.'" "Perhaps you need to find a man that while physically appealing needs a dominant woman" Renata advised. "You know I thought of that, I actually did and then I realized that a man like that actually would lose my respect somewhere along the way." "You have thought about this a lot haven't you?" Renata asked cautiously. Stacey nodded. Next to her studies this whole complicated mess that people called dating occupied too much of her time. With that thought she looked at Renata and asked "are you disgusted?" Renata gave her a look that Stacey didn't understand as she shook her head "no, I'm not disgusted at all, who am I to judge? If this is what you want my friend, I support you 100%." "Have you ever been with a woman?" Stacey boldly asked her friend. Renata laughed and spreading her hands asked "like this?" Stacey joined in her laughter, how would a ghost make love when there was no physical anything to hold onto. It wasn't until a long time later that Stacey realized that Renata hadn't actually answered this particular question. The thought of being with a woman occupied a lot of Stacey's mind that sophomore year in college. She watched and listened as Melanie had first one lover and then a few more. She heard her lament that women were as catty and insecure as men but she never once complained about their touch. In fact she sung their praises to the heavens how glorious it was. Stacey stuck to the tried and true and still dated men but she found no one that 'tripped her trigger' as Renata so quaintly put it. Halfway during her junior year in college Stacey met Yolanda. She was a foreign exchange student from South America and fun to be around. Her shaved black hair on the sides with the tail of hair down the back should have given Stacey a clue of Yolanda's sexual proclivities but Stacey was still naive where those things were concerned. Melanie finally had to give her a heads up regarding that since Yolanda was now dating one of Melanie's exes. It didn't bother Stacey as she had a few gay friends now thanks to Melanie. It was at one party though that Stacey realized where her own road was leading her. She was dancing with Roland, one of the big frat brothers on campus and enjoying herself immensely when a song came on that he couldn't dance to. Normally Stacey would have joined him for a beer as they sat out but Melanie and friends got up to dance and Stacey stayed to enjoy the dance with them. Yolanda had broken up recently with her current lover and she began to dance with Stacey. "I love this American music" she said with her beautiful accent. Stacey nodded, too out of breath to carry on a conversation but she gave Yolanda a smile not realizing that Yolanda took it as a 'come hither' smile and would act on it. As the music played, the beer flowed and Stacey enjoyed herself with her friends both men and women. It was with great surprise though that she found herself out on the porch in a corner alone with Yolanda. "Ja know" she said with her delightful accent "I've been watchin you for a long time." "You have?" Stacey responded dumbly. She wasn't drunk by any stretch of the imagination but she was feeling no pain. Yolanda nodded as she leaned in to kiss the surprised Stacey on the lips. When she felt no resistance she moved in for more. She felt no resistance though because Stacey was shocked. While she had thought about this type of interaction she had always thought she would be the one to initialize it. She didn't realize she had with her smile earlier. She didn't resist though and Yolanda took that as acceptance. She deepened the kiss and began to caress Stacey. Stacey could honestly say she didn't feel threatened by it, not at all like when the men she had dated had tried something. She didn't feel overwhelmed or like she couldn't breathe. "Ju like?" Yolanda breathed when they came up for air. Stacey nodded dumbly not sure of what she could say. She enjoyed the feel of Yolanda's lips on hers, her body against hers. She wasn't sure how far she wanted this to go though. Fortunately Yolanda must have sensed that Stacey was a novice and backed off. "We go on a date ja?" Yolanda asked but Stacey wasn't sure she was asking so much as telling. Stacey nodded and left it at that. It gave her a lot to think about in the coming nights. Something had been turned on though as her body apparently liked the idea of going on a date with Yolanda. She frequently found herself as horny as her roommate these days. She started having very sensual dreams. She seriously considered buying some toys to fill the emptiness her crotch was experiencing. She frequently found herself rubbing her clit but it wasn't nearly satisfying, she knew she was missing something. "You do that a lot?" Stacey heard the amused voice of Renata who had appeared after months of being absent. She looked up at her coolly dressed friend, she always wore the same leather pants, the cool anklet boots, and the cross over blue satiny blouse over her big breasts. She grinned sheepishly, at least Renata had allowed her to finish before she made her presence known, that thought though had Stacey wondering how often Renata watched her or how much she saw. She shrugged nonchalantly "now and then, I need some relief" she said almost defensively. Renata smiled a knowing smile and said "you've met someone that inspires you?" Stacey looked at her friend or rather through her and nodded "I think so." Renata had a look on her face that Stacey couldn't define and said "are you going to allow her to go all the way?" "Who says it's a 'her'?" she asked rudely, again almost defensively. Renata smiled knowingly and sat down on the end of the bed. Stacey scooted her feet up to make room for her friend. "You've been wondering about girls for a long time now, you've met someone that gets your juices flowing, it's only natural that you think about going 'all the way' with her." Stacey looked down at her drawn up legs. She felt a little ashamed to be talking to Renata about this but then she could say or do anything with Renata as had been proven to her time and again. Renata sighed loudly to get Stacey's attention "its okay, you know I don't judge you. It's natural, don't let it bother you." Stacey started to tell her about Yolanda when suddenly Renata disappeared. She heard a key in the lock and barely had time to pull up her sheets to hide her naked lower half when her roommate came drunkenly in. "Holy shit this room reeks of sex!" she said but barely made it to her bed before collapsing on it. Stacey was actually glad she passed out as she quickly opened their window to air out the room and took the opportunity to pull on her pajama bottoms. Her roommate wouldn't remember a thing in the morning and Stacey was embarrassed but relieved. Stacey never did follow up with Yolanda. She found her attractive but also too butch for her tastes. She instead found that she liked girlie girls. Ones called femme's. While she never acted on it during her junior year she thought about it enough through her senior year. She suppressed it though, she knew instinctively she wasn't ready for it even if she masturbated to frenzy over thoughts of certain girls. "Congratulations Ms. Warrens, welcome to the firm" the senior partners shook her hand time and again as they welcomed her into their midst. Her summer's spent as an intern had paid off and now Stacey had a terrific new position. The pay wasn't bad either and she could rent a decent apartment. She didn't need to have a roommate and for the first time in her adult life she was looking forward to being self-sufficient and on her own. She was a confident young career girl and going to take the world by storm. She was lonely. She didn't date. Her whole life was wrapped around her work. It wasn't nearly as fulfilling or satisfying and she seriously needed to find someone to share things with. Renata appeared from time to time but it was less and less these days. Stacey guessed she didn't need Renata like she once had, but she missed her. She had plenty of off time and she spent it putzing around her apartment or walking in the parks of the city. She kept up her healthy routine established in the summer before her senior year thanks to Renata and as a result she had a fantastic woman's body that many admired, both men and women. She had frequently been asked out by the men in the firm but kept a strict 'business only' demeanor and refused them all. She realized she wasn't physically or sexually attracted to any of them anyway. Women were what did it for her but she had never done anything about that either. In this day and age of sexual freedom, Stacey was still a virgin. It must have been all that pent up sexual frustration that started the dreams. Many was the time that Stacey woke up with her fingers between her legs and a pool of cum on the bed. It was only after a long time she began to remember her dreams and realized she was fantasizing about women. She needed to get laid she realized but she didn't want some random femme or dyke to take her. She didn't want to give her virginity to just anyone. She wanted it to mean something, it least in her mind. Stacey started to go out on the weekends. No more would she sit lonely and bored in her apartment making sure her plants were watered. She slowly discovered the lesbian scene. She was welcomed with open arms, after all she was fresh meat, and attractive. She got hit on by all kinds, aggressive dykes that look like men, more feminine ones that were a bit more subtle, and femme's that ran the gamut of aggression to timidity. She made a lot of friends but she didn't spread her legs for any of them. She knew she was searching for the one, and she didn't know where she was hiding. She thought perhaps she might wind up alone at this rate. The dreams though never quite went away. She wanted them so badly she began to have them in the daytime as well. Staring out her window at work she could barely remember some of the night dreams that got her so hot and bothered but with her daydreams she was in control of them. Many was the time she had to go to the restroom and change her panty liner from the sopping one that now lined her panties. This mystery woman that came to her in her dreams, the faceless one that occupied a lot of her daytime dreams kept her hot and horny and aroused. "Renata, I haven't seen you in ages" she smiled in welcome at the apparition that had appeared in her apartment. "I've been here" Renata told her with a return smile. It was at that moment that Stacey realized the faceless woman of her daydreams had a face after all. It was Renata's. It struck her like lightning. The one woman, the best friend she had all these years was Renata and now she had been fantasizing about her. She was ashamed. There could never be anything between them and yet her heart was tearing at the thought. "What's wrong?" Renata asked her with concern seeing the sad look on her friend's face. Stacey looked down at her short manicured fingernails. It was one of the many things that Renata had taught her so long ago. "I'm sorry Renata, I don't think I am myself these days." "What's wrong?" her friend repeated as she came to sit on the couch where Stacey was but keeping a distance between them. She wasn't unaware that there could be no physical contact between them. Stacey would have gone right through her. "I don't know if I can tell you" Stacey felt uncomfortable. "You know there is nothing you can't tell me, haven't you shared everything with me over the years?" Stacey nodded knowing this was true. Renata was the one friend she had shared all her childish fantasies and many of her adult ones, she wasn't sure though that she could share what she suddenly realized she had been dreaming about. "Come on Stacey, you have my curiosity aroused" Renata cajoled her. It was the word 'aroused' that made Stacey want to squirm but Renata never judged, she was always 'there' for her, Stacey sensed her without even seeing her many times over the years. She was her closest friend. Even Melanie and other friends had never heard the stories or shared the intimacies she had with Renata. No one knew about Renata but Stacey. She started hesitantly, still staring down at her nails "I've been having dreams for a long time now, night dreams, day dreams, all about women. I started going to gay bars hoping to find a woman that could fulfill those dreams but she just doesn't appear, she just isn't real" she said with real anguish. Renata would have reached out to touch her and console her if she could have, as it was her hand began to move towards her shoulder and stopped in time. Stacey thought she had to get it off her chest, she took a deep breath and looked up into Renata's eyes, or rather through them and said "it's you Renata, it's you I've been dreaming about, fantasizing about, wanting for longer than I realized. I know there can never be anything between us but I don't think I can help myself. You're my best friend, your closer to me than anyone else has ever been. How can I feel this way about a ghost, about someone who isn't there but in my own mind?" Renata could see the anguish that was hurting her friend. As Stacey watched thought the expression on her face turned to shame. Stacey's honesty deserved some of Renata's own "I'm sorry Stacey, this is my fault" she began. "Your fault? How is it your fault that I've fallen in love with a ghost?" Stacey looked at her puzzled and unsure. "Because those dreams you have at night, I caused those" she said looking with a pleading expression at Stacey for her to understand. "What do you mean you caused my night dreams?" Stacey was confused. "I couldn't resist, do you remember the first time you dreamed about women, when you first started having wet dreams about them?" Renata asked. Ghostly Love Stacey thought back to her realization that she just might be gay, her conversations with Melanie. She realized even before that she had some of the dreams. She looked at and through Renata with incredulity "even then, those were you?" Renata nodded shamefully "I couldn't help myself, you had become so beautiful to me. I stayed away but only when I knew you couldn't consciously be aware of me and my presence. You're too astute, you sense me too easily. I think it's because I had fallen in love with you but I know that's not the case, it's because you are so aware of the other side. I began to appear in your dreams, I'm sorry, I know this isn't fair, I might have unduly influenced you to choose women over men but I wanted you for myself and I indulged my own feelings and not what you might have wanted." "You mean I might have chosen men after all?" Stacey said wonderingly and then realized with all the conversations she had with Melanie she knew that wasn't the case. She knew the first time Yolanda kissed her that women were right for her. The countless women she had kissed and fondled at the clubs, she knew that felt right, but not enough to make love to them. This woman, this woman she couldn't have, this was the one she wanted and desired. "I don't really know if you would have chosen men or suppressed your attraction to women. I know how hard it is to be in a relationship with the same sex, perhaps I did you a disservice by messing with your dreams." Stacey shook her head "No, Renata, I think I was born gay. I know that sounds like the party line but I realized a long time ago that I wanted women in my life and not a man. I can appreciate a man aesthetically speaking but I have no desire to feel his naked body against me and the thought of his sperm" at this she shuddered "I'm just not interested." "But if I had stayed out of your dreams you might have come to that conclusion yourself. I've messed with the natural order of things. I crossed a line." "No Renata, I think perhaps you showed me the way. I want a woman, but not just any woman, I want you and I can't have you" she sobbed momentarily at the unfairness of the situation "you showed me how to take pride in my appearance. You gave me confidence. You provided me with real friendship all these years. I owe you a debt of gratitude I can never repay. Is it any wonder that my dream woman is you? Is it any wonder I want and desire you?" "Don't you see, it's just because of the dreams, I caused them, I went where I didn't belong" Renata said forcefully taking the full blame of the situation on her shoulders. "Don't you see?" Stacey parodied back. "I might have fallen in love with a totally unacceptable woman instead of my dream lover. I don't know what we are going to do now that we are both aware of it but I know this Renata, if you were here, if you were on the physical plain, I would want you forever" Stacey said passionately. "I'm sorry Stacey, it's not possible, and I've crossed a line. It would be better if I never bothered you again." "What are you saying, are you saying you're going and I will never see you again?" Stacey asked alarmed. Renata nodded sadly never having wanted to take this woman in her arms more. "It's only fair that you are given the chance to find someone on your level, someone real to love and cherish. I'm sorry I indulged myself, I'm sorry I caused you this pain. I loved you too don't you see?" Stacey looked into Renata's beautiful face and could see her fading before her own eyes. "Don't go Renata, I love you, please don't go!" she pleaded but to no avail. The ghostly image was gone. That night Stacey cried herself to sleep. That night she had the best sex she had ever had with her dream lover. For a change she was aware that it was Renata but as she made love to her this last time they both realized it was for the last time and couldn't last. Stacey woke up when it was over and was crying from the loss. Over the following months her friends and coworkers realized Stacey had suffered some tragic loss of some kind. She was a fairly private person so no one really knew what it was. They only saw her depressed state, her trudging along and barely surviving. No longer did Stacey have daydreams with Renata as her lover, her face was already fading from her consciousness and no matter how hard she tried to hold on, it slipped from her memory until she could barely remember what she looked like. No more did she have wet dreams over her dream lover. She stopped going clubbing, the friends she had made that had hoped to become more than friends missed her but no one sought her out. Stacey became wrapped in her own cocoon of misery. "What HAPPENED to you?" Melanie asked in concern. She was visiting and all she saw was the shell of the woman she once knew. Stacey shrugged it away unable to explain and was surprised when Melanie grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to look her straight in the eye. "SOMETHING happened, TELL ME!" she breathed into her face in anger. Stacey sighed and sat on her couch, the same spot she had been in when Renata faded from her life. How could she tell anyone? How could she explain about Renata when everyone would think she was nuts? She didn't miss the irony of the moment when Melanie sat down in the same spot that Renata had been sitting all those months ago when she disappeared. "Do you remember me telling how in high school I was a short, fat, little girl with braces and glasses?" she began Melanie squinted her eyes in remembrance and puzzlement trying to understand where this was going but she nodded hoping that Stacey would go on. Stacey licked her lips as she stared down at her fingernails "in the summer before my senior year I lost the glasses, got contacts, I lost the braces, I worked out in the pool and walked daily and lost my baby fat. My hair lightened from the pool and I got a decent haircut" she glanced over to see Melanie watching her avidly. Melanie nodded to show she was listening but was wondering what all this had to do with how her friend was looking now. Stacey licked her lips again before continuing. "I didn't do it alone though, I had help." She glanced up again before adding "all my life I've sensed 'others', other beings that no one else could see. This time though, the same one appeared and gave me advice." She waited for a moment to hear if Melanie thought she was nuts. Glancing up she only saw polite and concerned interest on her friend's face. "This, this thing, this 'other' was in the form of a woman..." she began and then was shocked to hear Melanie speak. "Renata?" she asked softly. "How did you...how did you know?" she stuttered her question in surprise. "You talk in your sleep sometimes" Melanie informed her with a little smile at her surprise. "I do?" she asked stunned "why didn't you ever tell me?" Melanie laughed a short bark and said "because it was so interesting, I'll tell you later, finish your story." Stacey told her everything. She told of Renata's helpful advice regarding hygiene, makeup, clothes, everything for the last six years of her life. How Renata had been her best friend, her confidant, her pal. She told her of her dreams though too, especially once she owned up to the fact that she was attracted to women. Melanie smiled and said "I know" to the last part. "What do you mean? You know?" Stacey asked. "Sometimes when I'd stay over and we'd be up all night talking, you'd fall asleep and murmur in your sleep. Over the years I can't tell you how curious I was about who Renata was, this explains so much. I knew you were making love to this mysterious Renata. I didn't realize though that she actually spoke to you, that you carried on conversations with her, that you've actually seen her. That's so cool." Stacey shook her head at the revelation that Melanie had known for years about Renata and never said anything. "Why didn't you ever ask who she was?" "Because I figured if she was that important to you that you were keeping her to yourself, you would share when the time was right. This must be the time. I can't tell you how many times when we were sharing over a beer I wanted to ask but I didn't want to pry or embarrass you. I can see by the shock on your face that you thought it was your secret." "Did others hear it? Did others know?" Stacey asked cautiously wondering how many times she had been the subject of ridicule and not known. Melanie shrugged "I talked about it a couple of times with your roommates but they never really realized what it meant. Apparently they shrugged it off since you were mumbling. I don't know what else they saw of course." She leaned forward to confide "I'm pretty sure though I watched you make love to Renata once or twice over the years from the sighs and moans that were coming out of you as you slept. I think I watched you have an orgasm or two in your sleep." Stacey reddened in embarrassment. Then she realized that everything she had told Melanie was confirmed by her observations. "She's left me now" she told Melanie and explained their last conversation. "She won't be back?" Melanie asked concerned. Stacey shook her head and covered her face with her hands and cried. Melanie took her friend in her arms and held her, rocking her until the sobs subsided. It was a long time in coming, Stacey was crying, not over the death of her friend who was already dead but rather over the death of the relationship with the woman she had loved for so long. Stacey consoled herself with this small thing, the fact that a human could hold her, she could feel her holding her and Renata never could. Her work didn't suffer, she threw herself into it with abandon. She became the best assistant account manager they had ever seen and was soon promoted to account manager with her own team of people to manage them. She was a rising star at the firm but there was this sadness about her. "This is the Whitmore account" her boss explained as though Stacey hadn't spent a month studying it until she could recite it backwards. "I don't need to tell you how important it is." No, he didn't, he had told her every day for a month and she knew that very very well. "I just don't want to screw this up" he threw in for good measure. Stacey and her team went to the meetings and her knowledge and expertise won them the account hands down. The Whitmore people were so impressed they insisted on Stacey handling the account personally. Her firm couldn't have been more pleased with Stacey's performance. Within a month the Whitmore people were over the moon with Stacey's professionalism and expertise. It was then that she was allowed to meet Ms. Whitmore. "Stacey, I'd like to personally introduce you to Ms. Whitmore" her contact at Whitmore's insisted as she walked into the luncheon. Stacey's confident walk halted as she gazed at the woman before her. Ms. Whitmore was none other than a human version of Renata, her ghostly friend that she had lost so long ago. Right down to the clothes she had always seen on Renata, the leather pants the anklet boots, and the crossover blue satin blouse. Stacey looked into Ms. Whitmore's eyes to see if she recognized Stacey but there was only polite interest from the introduction. As they shook hands though both women were aware of the electrical current between them and the look they shared acknowledged it. Stacey found a hard time being able to eat at that luncheon. Her thoughts for the first time in a long time were taken up with thoughts of Renata. She finally had a clear view of what her features would look like on a real person. No more was her view impeded by seeing through the apparition. She was clearly defined. She was beyond beautiful, she was breathtaking. Stacey tried not to stare. She suppressed her incredible attraction for this woman and remained the professional. "I hear we have you to thank for putting together these excellent deals that Whitmore has benefited from" even the voice was pure Renata's and sent shafts to Stacey's vitals. She smiled and said "you did hire our firm for the best, it would be poor business not put Whitmore's at the top of their field" she answered. Business was conducted in a casual professional atmosphere and they got a lot of work done. Stacey found Ms. Whitmore to be highly intelligent and interesting. Her laugh though twisted Stacey's insides as it had of old. At the end of the meeting Stacey was firmly thanked by all of them and Ms. Whitmore last of all. Shaking Stacey's hand again she said "I want to thank you for all of your hard work that has enabled our two firms to do business" she smiled and Stacey looked at her oddly for a moment. "You're certainly welcome, we appreciate Whitmore's business enormously" she smiled in return. Ms. Whitmore examined Stacey for a moment as she released her hand wondering at the odd look in her eye. Stacey returned to work and collapsed in her chair behind her desk in her office. She was exhausted from having to maintain the facade. She felt drained from having met Ms. Whitmore. She didn't know how she was going to maintain any semblance of dignity around the woman. She had hoped that her staring and quiet had gone unnoticed. She prayed she had remained professional. "How'd it go?" her boss popped his head in. She smiled "brilliantly" she answered with false enthusiasm. "That's great to hear, I've heard Renata Whitmore eats account managers for lunch" he laughed before adding "we are very pleased with what we hear you've done for them." Stacey thanked him and pretended to go back to work, effectively dismissing him. She got very little work done that afternoon, her thoughts were raging. "Hey, we are going OUT tonight, it's Friday night and you are NOT staying in that apartment one more moment!" Melanie told her in a tone that brooked no argument. "I really don't feel like..." she began but was overruled. She found herself at Charlie's Bar in the village sucking on a cool martini. "And she looked EXACTLY like Renata" she was telling Melanie. "I think you have Renata on the brain kiddo. You need to forget her. There is nothing you can do or say to bring her back." "See, this is one of the reasons why I never told anyone about her, you don't believe she existed." "Hey babe, it's not that I don't believe she existed but she dumped you. You need to move on." Melanie said practically. Stacey sighed. Melanie was right. She needed to move on. Ms. Whitmore was NOT Renata. Renata was a ghost, a dead person. She had done Stacey a lot of favors and moved on. Stacey needed to move on too. They turned around to watch the dancers on the floor and check out possible future dates. It was only fair, they were being checked out too. A group of 'elite' customers were in the lounge, a private area that was for the privileged few that paid an extra charge to be left alone. This way the wealthy or the famous could enjoy a night out in the bar without being bothered. Stacey glanced curiously into the lounge when the lights came up from the end of the song and gasped. Melanie looked at her in alarm and concern "what's wrong?" she asked. Just then the lights dimmed again for the next song as Stacey replied "I just saw, or rather I thought I saw Ms. Whitmore." Melanie looked around and asked "where?" Using her chin to point she said "there, in the lounge." With the lights dimmed again it was impossible to see into the little alcove, it remained in almost total darkness, they could barely make out that there were people in it. "I think you have Renata on the brain again kiddo, you need to stop, or better yet, maybe it's time for you to get help." "I am NOT crazy Melanie, if you don't want to hear anymore..." Stacey began, naturally enraged at her friend's suggestion. "Hey babe, I'm with you 110%. If you're going to drive me crazy I'm along for the ride. Relax. If you think you see Renata, then you see Renata, okay?" Melanie backed off realizing it wasn't worth upsetting her friend. Besides, she didn't want a scene and Stacey looked very capable of making one at this point. "I'm sorry Melanie, I just told you what I saw" Stacey said contritely. "Well, point her out again when the lights come up" Melanie advised. Stacey didn't have to. The woman in question came out of the lounge with a couple of friends in tow who then immediately proceeded to the dance floor while the woman headed for the bar where they were sitting. Melanie had been glancing at the alcove and saw Stacey stiffen and realized this must be the woman that was causing her friend so much anxiety. "Stacey?" the woman smiled as she held out her hand in greeting. "Hello Ms. Whitmore" Stacey recovered her shock to see her there, a lesbian bar. "Nice to see you." "Please, won't you call me Renata?" the woman replied and Stacey stiffened up. She saw out of the corner of her eye that Melanie did the same. "Renata, I'd like you to meet my friend Melanie" Trying to sound natural Stacey covered her surprise. Renata Whitmore held out her hand to Melanie and said "hello Melanie, what's wrong, you look like you've seen a ghost?" She took in the shocked expression on Melanie's face and her stiff posture. Melanie recovered and said "you look like someone I know" she answered as she shook the beautiful woman's extended hand. Stacey had of course described what her ghostly friend had looked like but this was overwhelming, and the coincidence of the name....was it a coincidence? Renata laughed delighted "I get that all the time. They say everyone has a double, I would like to run into her sometime!" They all smiled at her joke. "Would you like something?" the bartender had noticed Renata standing there. Renata ordered a sloe gin fizz and waited with the girls for the bartender to blend it. "Seems like a great crowd" she mentioned casually into the quiet the other two women were creating. Stacey recovered enough to answer "yeah, usually they don't get rocking until after midnight." "Oh, you come here often?" Renata inquired with interest. Stacey smiled and shook her head "no, awhile back I came occasionally. I haven't been here in a long time. Melanie insisted I get out tonight." Renata looked at Melanie and asked "are you two a couple?" Melanie looked even more surprised than the stunned look on her face from before and answered "us? A couple?" and then started laughing as though Renata had told the funniest joke. Partly it was relief from the tense moment they were feeling, partly it was from something she actually found funny. Stacey glared at Melanie and when Renata turned to try and understand what Melanie was laughing at she explained "Melanie and I are just friends, I've known her since college. We are both single." "Oh, that's good" Renata replied as the bartender returned and said "put it on your tab Ms. Whitmore?" Renata nodded as she took a sip. "Ah, that tastes refreshing" she commented. Stacey's eyes had narrowed slightly at Renata's comment "that's good?" she asked for clarification to remind Renata of what she had said. Renata looked her straight in the eye as she said "that you two friends can go out together and that you're single because I've been watching you since you came in and hoping you would dance with me." Stacey blinked in surprise and then smiled as she answered "I'd like that." Behind Renata's back Melanie was giving her the thumbs up sign and Stacey grinned a little because of it. "Let me finish this one and we can dance" Renata said cheerfully and Stacey grabbed her own martini to finish it off. As Renata grabbed her hand to lead her to the dance floor Stacey felt like she was floating on air. This couldn't be really happening. The live embodiment of her fantasy, of her dead friend, of her love was holding her hand. In person. In the flesh. Things didn't happen like this. This couldn't be happening, right? And yet she accepted it. It was right, it was deserved. She had been through hell and back and she would enjoy every moment of this for as long as it lasted. If she was dreaming, it was a hell of a dream and she didn't want to wake up this time. A slow song started as they got on the dance floor and Renata never hesitated to pull her into her arms and shuffle along with her as they adjusted to each other's steps. Ghostly Love God Renata felt good against her. Stacey closed her eyes so she could feel with her senses and all six of hers told her it was right. She could almost feel the ghostly Renata there as well smiling down on this moment. She almost wanted to crush the live Renata to her chest to prove she was live, she was real, and she wasn't Stacey's imagination. Instead she held her carefully, almost delicately, felt her warmth, smelled her perfume and unique body essence and relished every second of it. "I'm glad you were here tonight" Renata breathed in her ear and Stacey could feel the warmth of her breath and feel a small smattering of goose bumps go down her spine. "Why?" Stacey asked from her own mouth which was by Renata's right ear where her head was almost resting on the taller woman's shoulder. "Because I felt instant attraction to you at today's meeting. Almost as though I've known you before" Renata replied with her soothing voice. "I felt the same way, I would swear we have met before" Stacey replied bending the truth a little. "I'm relieved you're in a lesbian bar..." Renata began before pulling back momentarily to look in her smaller partner's eyes and ask "you ARE a lesbian aren't you?" The alarm she heard in Renata's voice made Stacey smile as she shyly nodded. "However I only think it fair to warn you, I've never been with anyone." She looked down in shame as though she had committed some social faux paus. Renata lifted Stacey's chin with her fingertips so she could look deeply into her eyes. "No one? Ever?" Stacey shook her head as she looked deeply into Renata's deep blue eyes. The lights from the dance floor and her blue blouse brought out tints in those blue eyes that were making Stacey's legs go weak. She whispered "I have never been with a man or a woman." Renata found herself becoming greatly excited. The thought of being the first woman with this delightfully pretty woman was intoxicating. "Why not?" she felt she had to ask. Stacey shrugged "I've been waiting for the right woman." Renata felt odd, almost as though something had come over her. She realized she must proceed with caution. After all, she worked with this woman. She also didn't want to scare her off. "Is it possible, I could be that right woman?" she asked hesitantly. Stacey smiled and then shyly nodded. Renata leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. She couldn't believe how that one little kiss would affect her body though. She felt electrified by it. There was something about this woman, there was an overwhelming attraction. The handshake that afternoon had started it. The way the woman stared at her during the meeting. The way she was looking at her now. All of it indicated intense interest. Renata couldn't help but return that interest if it was anything like she was feeling. They danced several dances together, oblivious to those around them. They danced each of them slow as they got to know each other and lightly teased each other's bodies by dancing closely. Even though everyone around them were rocking out to the beat, they continued to dance slowly. This elicited a few chuckles from those around them but everyone could see the looks between the two of them, the intensity, the conversation, the happiness and let them to it. They were oblivious to those around them anyway. Some envied them what they obviously already had, some knew who the players were and were surprised they had hooked up. Melanie watched and prayed her friend wouldn't get hurt, again. "So you see you look just like her" Stacey was explaining to Renata about...Renata. "You believe you see ghosts?" Renata asked to clarify what Stacey had been sitting on her couch explaining. Stacey had felt the need to explain in full before this went any further. She and Renata had spoken for hours in the club and it was only natural that Renata invited her back to her co-op. They were sitting with a fine bottle of wine on her cozy and expensive living room couch so they could continue their hour's long conversations. "Yes" Stacey answered simply thinking this might be just too much for the sophisticated woman she was talking to. To her amazement though Renata smiled, that endearing smile that Stacey had never seen enough of over the years. Renata breathed a large sigh before saying "that's a relief." "A relief?" Stacey asked puzzled. Renata nodded as she answered "I thought I was the only one." "You've been visited by ghosts?" Stacey asked astounded, she had never met anyone who admitted that. She had never confided this with anyone other than Melanie though. Renata nodded again "my whole life I've seen them but in the last six years or so just one but with no face and no name." She looked intensely at Stacey and said huskily in awe "I think it was the embodiment of you." Stacey blinked rapidly at the emotions that were swirling around her, she had an idea she had to share with the beautiful woman before her "maybe my ghostly Renata was visiting me, letting me fall in love with her so I would someday be ready for you, and maybe, just maybe she was also visiting you in the form of me so you would be ready for me?" She waited anxiously to hear what her new found friend would say. Renata smiled, that dear and familiar smile that Stacey loved so much and would never, ever tire of, the one she had missed so much. She leaned in for a kiss and whispered "I think you are right, I've been waiting a lifetime for you..." That kiss was just the first of many. Stacey had fantasized and dreamt so much of this woman, that making love to her was not awkward, not unfamiliar. She knew the spots she needed to touch to make her writhe, to make her squirm, to make her moan. It was like a dancing partner she had had for years, they knew each move the other would make before they made it, anticipate it. Despite Stacey's virginity status, neither of them were unknowing of the other, they knew each other's body intimately. As they moved it to the bedroom, shedding each other's clothes, they couldn't help but stop to admire the body presented to the other. Renata, brunette, tall and curvy and sexy as hell, Stacey, blonde, short and petite and sexy as hell. They were incredibly matched and both appreciated the beauty of the moment as they came together naked on the bed. Stacey kissed those lips she had dreamt over, day and night. They felt so warm, alive, and real. The tongue that snaked out into her own mouth she caressed, she licked, she adored in return. Renata sucked on hers, she caressed it, and she made Stacey feel alive in ways she had never dreamed of. Kisses along the jawline and to the ear followed as they licked, sucked, and caressed each other. Breast to breast, hip to hip they touched everything they could reach and rolled over to touch more. The first touch of lips on her breast had Stacey gasping in pleasure. As she ardently followed suit on Renata's pert nipples on her huge breasts she was amazed at how much the blouse had hidden. Not in her wildest fantasies had she imagined what these two beauties would look like unbound from a brassiere. The first touch on her hip by Renata's fingertips had her longing for more. She shifted slightly, hoping that Renata would understand her need, her desire for more. Renata must be a mind reader as her fingers gently but firmly made their way between Stacey's legs. That first touch on Stacey's clit by someone else other than her own hands was mind boggling and very welcome. Especially because this someone was the one she had been waiting for all her life. Even before she knew she wanted this woman she had been waiting for her. To have her actually in her arms, to know she was real, had her body reacting in overdrive. She had never felt this ready before. Even before Renata touched her clit, or cupped her hand on the warmth between her legs, Stacey knew she was inordinately wet. She felt like she was gushing. The sound Renata made as she discovered this flood was like music to Stacey's ears. "Oh my God" she breathed as she sucked her way down Stacey's body. Her fingers plunged in to play. Stacey's body rose to the occasion, welcoming those fingers, first one, then two, then amazingly a third. Renata had hesitated to add that third finger, mindful of Stacey's virginity she didn't think she could take it with just her fingers. But the body is an amazing thing and Stacey's was begging for that fullness. Renata wanted only to please her. As her mouth sucked, licked, and nibbled its way down the smaller woman's petite body she wanted to give her the ultimate pleasure. As she made her way with her lips and tongue to Stacey's clit she was pleased that her body arched in supplication, begging for what Renata and only Renata could give her. Her tongue reached out for that first taste and Stacey released a huge pent up sigh. When Renata's lips captured her clit and as she felt that warmth enfold it she let out a little sob she hadn't known she could make. Renata wasted no time in thrusting her fingers inside Stacey's gushing body. She reached up and gently petted a spot she knew was there and Stacey arched back in supplication and cried out, if possible she was gushing more. She greedily sucked and licked as much of the nectar as she could manage and still it poured out of Stacey's body. Her tongue and lips created magic on Stacey's painfully erect clit. She kept up the combination of the stimulation. She could tell by the writhing of Stacey's body that she was close. Stacey had never been able to cum by herself in this manner. This was a whole new level that she couldn't have fathomed. Having the woman of her dreams in her arms, the foreplay, the actual touch, it was all overwhelming. She didn't last long as she peaked, bucking and screaming out in her ecstasy before going limp in her lover's arms. Renata had never made anyone faint and she was at first alarmed, a little scared, and then as she saw Stacey coming to, a little proud of herself for making this happen on Stacey's first time with another person, with another woman, with her. At this moment, if it were up to Renata, Stacey would never ever experience it with anyone else. "What happened?" Stacey asked confused as she woke up in Renata's arms. Renata was gently caressing her hair back, occasionally the side of her face soothingly. "La petite morte" Renata smiled down as she was propped up on her elbow holding the smaller woman. "What?" Stacey asked, she still felt a little fuzzy but at the same time, incredibly relaxed. "The little death, you fainted from your orgasm" Renata told her, her eyes dancing in delight at the prospect. Stacey felt overwhelmed. She had heard of that but certainly never experienced anything like it. What could she say? "Wow" about summed it up. Renata grinned "do you feel okay?" "Wonderful" Stacey answered with a grin and then asked "but what about you?" "You don't think we're done do you?" Renata asked as she rolled on the petite blonde pressing breast to breast, belly to belly, mons to mons, and wrapped her legs around her smaller lover's, rubbing them enticingly as she rubbed her mons against Stacey's, clit to clit she moaned loudly. ~The End~ K'Anne Ghostly Love Ch. 02 It was a disaster. When they had arrived, they were greeted by a dozen people Daniel worked with whom all called him "Danny Boy." Funny, Brenda hated that. Daniel didn't seem to mind though. Soon they were seated at a table with three other couples. All snobs, Brenda later classified them. The woman on her left was the wife of one of the newest partners in the firm. Her hair was blonde, and styled impeccably in a short bob. Very chic. She had raised an eye brow when Brenda sat down next to her, giving her a rude once over. Brenda felt as if she were a horse, being weighed and measured before a sale. Turning her attention away from the rude woman, Brenda smiled at everyone else at the table. They were all dressed impeccably. The men, including, dear Daniel, wore hand tailored Tuxedos, while the women, who were more toward thirties and forties than early twenties, like Brenda, were wearing very, almost gaudy, outfits. The blonde next to her wore her dress of scarlett silk tailored in a classic nineteen seventies flappy dress obviously disapproved of Brenda's black one. Thankfully dinner didn't last long at all. Soon, Daniel dragged her up so he could mingle with co-workers and clients alike. She met several of his office employees, and many clients. Soon, one of the wives to a potential client had dragged her away with Daniel's permission to talk with the other women folk. She seemed very interested in her political views. When they reached the other women, Brenda had changed the subject. "Why he's a very successful architect." Melodie Browning said. She had been the woman to drag her off. So, that's why she was dripping money. Brenda almost shuddered. "With all due respect, Mrs. Browning, I asked what you did for a living." Brenda reminded her. "Nothing." Melodie seemed shocked that Brenda hand't gotten that conclusion the first time around. Brenda made a soft O with her lips and smiled reassuringly at Mrs. Browning. "What does your husband do?" "Oh, Dan's not my husband. He's my boyfriend. He's a partner at Enhert, de Morte, and Enhert." Brenda smiled at Mrs. Browning. "He's the second Enhert." Mrs. Browning smiled. "That's lovely dear. Quite the catch, eh?" "I was with him before he became a partner." Mrs. Browning smiled. "Do you work, Miss Cottonwood?" "Yes, I'm the owner and executive chef of Servello. It's in the Pearl District downtown. . ." When all the other women ceased their conversation to stare at her, Brenda tried not to blush. "You own Servello?" A woman with black hair in a tight french twist asked. Brenda nodded and sipped the red wine she held in her hand. "The Bistro and bakery?" Another woman asked. Brenda nodded again. "How old are you?" "Twenty two." One woman shook her head. "Not possible, your too young." Brenda shrugged. "Even ask Dan Enhert. My boyfriend." Unbeknownst to her, Dan had been walking toward her when she told the women to ask him. "Ask me what?" "What do I do for a living?" "She owns a place called Servello. It's a bakery and a . . .what is the word, honey?" "Bistro." She supplied. Daniel nodded and watched with amusement as all the women began to clamor for her attention. Apparently they had all been to Servello and adored it. When several of the women's husbands arrived, the topic turned. Brenda heaved a sigh of relief. She hated being the center of attention. Even as a child being the center of attention, especially Daddy's attention had not been a good thing. Brenda grimaced and pushed the thoughts of her father out of her mind. The men began to speak about politics, and surprising to Bren, the women too. One of the men began to praise President George W. Bush. Brenda found herself shaking her head. "President Bush spend more time picking fights with other countries than he does trying to better this country." Brenda had a strong hate for the man her country called president. "How many of you, or your friends, or co-workers, have children around seventeen or eighteen? Do you know that if that scum bag of a president is re elected that there will be a draft? He's already killed to many kids in this so called "war." Nearly five hundred. Pardon me, but I believe that President Bush should be held accountable for every single one of those deaths. He should be hung by his toe nails, and whipped with a wet noodle." Brenda nodded to herself. Every one stared at her in disbelief. "How dare you speak of our president in such a manor. You've no right to question him." One of the women stated. "If I didn't question my leaders, if I didn't demand to be answered to, I wouldn't be doing my duty as an American citizen. Pardon me, but ma'am, have you ever read, actually read, the constitution of the United States of America? It says we are demanded as citizens to demand and question our leaders at every turn. If we don't, who will?" One of Daniel's co-workers obviously thought her to be a lawyer. He leaned close to Daniel that it was a "Good thing your wife was indeed your wife, because with that kind of passion, Danny boy, you would loose any case brought up with her on the prosecution." Shaking her head, Brenda excused herself, and began to walk to the entrance. She needed some cool air. Daniel caught up with her first. Grabbing her arm, he dragged her to the exit. Thankfully she already had her wrap and purse with her. "What the Hell has gotten into you?" Daniel whispered angrily into her ear. Once they reached the sanctuary of the out doors, Daniel handed his Valet ticket to a young boy and waited until he scurried off before reprimanding her further. It didn't end until she got home. Unlocking her front door, Daniel followed her inside, crushing her pride and stomping on her dignity. Brenda didn't look him in the eye. He didn't stop berating her until they had woven their way through the boxes down stairs and woven their way upstairs to her bedroom. Brenda sat down on her bed and slipped her shoes off. Daniel began to pace in front of her. Lecturing her on what she may have done to his career, on how she thoroughly embarrassed him, and how she made him look like a fool. She hadn't gotten a word in etch wise since they had left the club. Finally, Daniel closed his mouth, continuing his pacing. "Daniel, I'm sorry, but you told me to be myself. I was." "Don't tell me your sorry. Sorry dosen't cut it. You may have killed my career. So don't tell me your sorry." Brenda tried to refrain from rolling her eyes. That wasn't possible, she knew. How was it possible that because she didn't like the current president, he would get fired? Oh yeah, it wasn't. "I'm leaving." It was all the warning that Daniel gave before turning and leaving the room. Brenda gripped side of the bed and hung her head. When she heard him leave out the front, she got up quickly and left the room, heading toward the front door. Breezing quietly through the maze of boxes, Bren locked the door and made sure all the windows on the lower floor were locked as well. Slowly, Bren walked back up the stairs and trudged slowly back into her bedroom. Walking into the adjoining bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her black dress was still in perfect condition, but her face, her face looked abnormally pale. Her make up seemed to be a different dimension on her face. It seemed to be raised up away from her skin. Quickly and deftly she untied the ties on the back of the dress. When completely undone, the dress slipped to the bent crevasses of her elbows before she let it drop to the ground. Grabbing her large Eddie Bouer night shirt, she slipped it over her head and slipped her arms into it quickly. She never could abide looking at herself half or completely naked. She hated it. Slipping her hands under her shirt, she flipped the bracket of her bra, and felt the black satin backless strapless thing fall to the floor. Sighing to herself, she kicked it into her dirty clothes pile in the corner of the bathroom. Well that was a waste of a few hundred bucks. Shaking her head over the waste, she grabbed the container of make-up remover and glanced in the mirror. Pitiful. Quickly and deftly, she rubbed make up removal cream over her face, before rubbing a tissue over the cream. As soon as the make up was cleared off, she turned on the warm water, and splashed her face. Wiping a towel down her face, ridding it of its left over water, Bren stood. Turning off the water quickly, Brenda walked back to her bedroom. Turning out all the lights, she was pitched into complete blackness. Sleepily, she pulled the comforter and sheets back on the bed and crawled into them. Funny how she hadn't been sleepy until Daniel left. No wonder. He always took a lot of energy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ghostly Love Ch. 03 He couldn't understand why the woman put up with him. What he knew of the new American culture, women often stood up for their rights and didn't let men walk all over them. Perhaps he was wrong. Nay, that wasn't so. The last couple that lived on the premises fought like mad animals. Often it was the woman, Eva whom was doing the arguing. She said he treated her like less than a person. Kell didn't know about that. She was treated like royalty compared to the way women were treated in his day. But this girl. . .what was her bloody name. . .he was half tempted to wake her and asked her when he remembered. Brenda. Brenda Kathryn Cottonwood. Unusual name to be sure, but nothing completely disrespectful. This Brenda, or Bren as she often called herself when she believed herself to be alone, let this rake walk all over her tender feelings. He hadn't spent much time around women, in his life or after life, but it was plain as day on her face that the bloody bastard had hurt her feelings. Terribly too. Kell stood at the foot of her bed, cloaked in darkness and watched her sleep. If he hand't been afraid of scaring the daylights out of her as well, he would have taken care of her bloody boyfriend himself. As it was, she hadn't even a clue of his existence. Sighing Kell left the room and wandered through the downstairs. He was hungry for company, that was all, he told himself yet again. Walking through the front door, he let himself materialize. He stood in the night air, unable to feel the cool caress of the wind. Sighing again he walked to the south end of the porch where the swing sat, moving slightly in the wind. Sitting down on it, he ran a hand through is hair. Slowly rocking himself on the swing, he was suddenly became aware of how he looked. He sat and rocked in the porch swing, half transparent and wearing eighteenth century garb. Pouring more energy into his appearance, he changed his clothing into the appropriate style for this century. Faded jeans and a grey t-shirt. Pouring a slight bit of more energy into his appearance, he knew he looked like a normal human man now. His transparent skin had become fuller, lush looking. His ghostly glow ceased. Pushing himself on the swing, he tried to remember what it felt like to swing on it. The slight ruffle of air in his hair, the feeling of moving. He couldn't. When the swing stopped moving, except with the force of the wind, he didn't dare spend the energy to move it more. He had exerted himself enough. If he pushed it again, he wouldn't have the energy to keep up his appearance. Leaning forward, he rested his forearms on his knees. Why was this woman's plight bothering him? He hand't let anyone or anything get to him in almost three hundred years. So why now? Hearing the annoying bark of the neighbor woman's dog, he glanced up to see the elderly woman, dog in tow, heading toward the house carrying what appeared to be a batch of warm brownies. Hell, what the devil was the woman doing popping over at this bloody time of night? Sudden realization that she was staring at him made him jump up. Holy hell, she'd seen him, and expected that he lived there, and if he said he didn't she would most likely phone a constable. Striding over to the top of the stairs, he poured even more energy into looking human. He knew he passed when she gave him a suspicious smile. "Hello," she said as she stepped up onto the porch. The bloody little yapper of a dog, if one could call that tiny bit of a thing a dog, run rampant in the front yard. Kell forced a smile on her face and prayed the dog wouldn't come any where near him. Dog's seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to him. "Hello," Kell said, partially trying to hide his old English accent. He pushed a hand into his pocket, and waved with the other. "I thought there was a young woman living here." "Ah, yes. . .Brenda." Kell tried to seem non cool and composed, but didn't think he came off with it at all well. The woman was eyeing him as if he were a not wanted participant in a party. Giving him a rude once over, she arched her eye brow. "Your not living in sin, are you?" Well quite to the point wasn't she? "Nay, madam. I regret that we are not living in sin." For some unknown reason, Kell felt as if he needed to protect her integrity. "She is but a distant cousin to me." That caused the eyebrow to raise up even farther. "And whom was that man dropping her off a little while ago?" Kell held his look of astonishment off of his face. Luckily. She was a nosy little thing, she was. "And you are?" He asked raising his own eyebrow. "Mrs. Holmes. I have lived next door for some time now." "Ah, well yes," Kell wanted to smile. Well I've lived here for three hundred, Kell projected the thought into her head. "We we've lived here for three weeks." Besides looking slightly confused, she didn't let on that she had heard anything. "Here," She thrust the brownies out at him. "I can't take those." He said taking a quick step back and throwing his hands in front of him as if warding off an attack of some sort. Beware of those killer brownies! "Why not?" Mrs. Holmes almost shouted, anger replacing her earlier distaste. "Helen MacDugal brought over a chocolate cake yesterday, and the young woman took it. Why can't you accept my brownies?" Kell was at a loss. He couldn't take the brownies, that would take more energy than he had to give to anything, including his appearance. He was well aware that he shouldn't have put so much energy into making himself rock on the chair. He could feel the effects wearing thin on his appearance. "I'm sorry," Kell began to clutch at straws, trying desperately to find a reason he couldn't take the brownies. "My. . .my hands are sweaty. I don't wish to . . .drop your very decorative plate." He stuck his hands out and gave them a wet sheen to them. "You can, uh, just set them on the rail there, mum." Raising that damned eyebrow again, Kell felt as if he were at Eton again. This old woman was not doing anything that could help his plight. Although, those brownies did look incredible. He had seen many tenets make and consume brownies over the years. Never having sampled one, himself, he'd always been very anxious to do so. She set the brownies on the rail and backed away. "Thank you, Mrs. Holmes." He said, in his most polite voice. "Where exactly are you from, Mr. . .?" "James. Kelloch James." Kell almost hit his forehead with his hand. Why the devil did he give her his real name. Saints preserve him, he was going daft. "And, Mrs. Holmes, I am from London." She nodded as if she had expected as much for him. Turning away, she called out to her dog and left with out a backward glance. When he was sure she was gone, he let his appearance fade. Glancing down at the brownies, he had no idea how he was supposed to bring them into the house. He hadn't the energy to pick up the plate, let alone pick up the plate, carry the plate and open and close the front door. It wasn't possible. Not tonight anyway. He'd already wasted to much energy as it was. Moving into the house, he made his way to Brenda's side. How the bloody hell was he supposed to get this woman to go down stairs and get the brownies from outside. It wasn't going to happen. Brenda dreamt. She was alone in the house she had just bought, but it wasn't her house. It was full of early eighteenth century furniture. She stood in what was now the living room, but it looked like an old sitting room. A beautiful gold fabric settee faced the fire place, where a large fire burned. It wasn't carpeted, but instead had a beautiful rug. Brenda looked around her in fascination when she herd someone coming. Fear blossomed in her heart and she ran around the side of the settee. To her shock, a young man lay there dead asleep to the world. His black hair was curled over one eye, making him look a scoundrel. Fear melted away as she watched him sleep. He was tall, she was sure of that, one leg hanging haphazardly on the floor while the other rested on the furniture. A brandy decanter rested on the floor next to his hand. Brenda knew without picking it up it would be empty. Now she wanted to laugh. He'd drunk himself into a stupor. Suddenly, the man's eyes opened, and he stared right at her. She thought for sure he would banish her out of such a richly adorned home. His eyes were the most intense blue she had ever seen. His gaze, she noticed was slightly glazed over. Yep, she thought, hungover something good. It was then Brenda herd his voice. He was speaking to her, softly. His voice was melodious and she almost fell to his feet just to listen to him speak. "Brownies." When she finally understood what he was saying, she took a step back. "Brownies?" "Aye, brownies. On the porch." Without looking away from her he pointed to the front door. "Go get the brownies, birdie. Delicious brownies, no doubt." Brenda shook her head and took another step back. "Take another step and you'll to land flat in the fire." Panic seized Brenda, waking her up. She lay in her bed, taking deep gulps of air, trying to calm her racing heart down. "Good Heavens," she thought as she sat up on the side of the bed. A sudden urge to look on the porch grabbed her mind. "There won't be any brownies there." She said firmly. And for a moment, she swore she herd a voice say, "Aye there is." Shaking her head, she stood and went to see the porch. When Brenda reached the front door and found herself unlatching the lock, she almost shook her head, told herself she was crazy and walked back up to her bedroom. But something was nagging at her. She had to look. What was the worst that could happen. She would just open the door a crack and look out onto the porch and if there weren't any brownies, then she knew she wasn't crazy. If there were brownies... well, she'd think About that later. Squaring her shoulders, she reached up and unlocked the old lock. Taking a deep breath she pulled the door open slightly and looked quickly outside. Low and behold, a plate of delicious looking brownies sat on the railing of the porch. "What in Heaven's name..." She murmured as she stepped out into the cool night. Pushing the screen door open, she stepped onto the cool porch and looked around. The porch light illuminated the entire porch and front lawn. There wasn't anyone around. "Hello?" She called into the night, just making sure there weren't any robbers or anything around. Folding her arms over her chest, she hugged them to her, cold. Looking down she sighed. She hoped none of her neighbors were still up and happened to be looking out their windows. They would see her dressed in her long night shirt shivering with cold. "Great," she mumbled to herself as she walked to the plate of brownies. They looked fresh, maybe not warm, but certainly fresh. Bending at the waist slowly, she leaned down and smelled the fresh aroma of chocolate heaven. She closed her eyes and wanted to moan. Chocolate was her one weakness. Her one allergy, but still a weakness. "For Lord's sake woman, come inside!" Brenda whirled around, startled by the mans deep voice that resonated from behind her. She saw the doors, the front door open as she had left it, the screen door closed. Inside the house was lit only in the hall way were she had turned on a light. Fear crept over her as she thought that someone may have snuck inside the house to kill her as she sniffed the brownies. That's impossible, she thought. I have only been turned away from the door a mere few seconds. That's all a killer needs, Bren, her subconscious told her. Shivering now from fear instead of cold, Brenda slowly walked backwards down the steps of her house. A sudden blast of wind made the screen door swing as if there were someone there. Brenda took off like a shot. Running to the next house, Brenda noticed there was still a light on, and prayed whoever lived here was still awake. She'd wake them up even if they were asleep. There was a killer in her house! She rang the door bell twice, and in the few seconds that passed when no one answered the door, she began to pound on it. There was a yipping from inside, and Brenda hoped she had woken someone up. She stopped pounding on the door when she herd locks being turned. Finally the door opened up and an elderly woman who seemed quite annoyed stood there in her bathrobe and slippers. "Well what is it? Where is the fire?" She demanded. "Ma'am, I am so sorry to wake you, but I just moved in next door-" "I know, I know." She mumbled. "Well I think someone is in my house." The old woman's face paled and her lips formed an 'o'. She unlocked the screen door and opened it, motioning for Brenda to come inside. Brenda was so grateful, she stepped inside and realized she was shaking violently. Brenda looked to her right and saw a lavishly decorated living room with a roaring fire. A couch of what appeared to be a green couch. It looked terribly comfortable. The woman must have seen her looking so longingly at it because she smiled and touched Brenda's shoulder gently. "Go sit on the couch by the fire, dear. I'll phone the sheriff." Brenda nodded and walked into the living room. Crossing over to the couch, she sat on it, and almost moaned in pleasure. It was warmed already from the fire, and warmed her as she sat. A few minutes later, the elderly woman came back into the room and sat across from Brenda on a chair. She stared off into the fire and mumbled, "I thought he was a strange one." "Who was strange?" "The man on your front porch earlier. He gave me a queer feeling, but he said he was a distant cousin, from London." Brenda felt herself go pale. "But I have no cousins. Both my parents were only children. I have one sister and one brother, but they both live across the country." The elderly woman nodded as if she expected to hear such an answer. "I expected as much." A silence fell on the room as the two women stared into the fire before them and thought about what was happening. Suddenly uncomfortable, Brenda shifted on the couch, suddenly hot. "I'm sorry I haven't introduced my self." Brenda smiled as brightly as she could. "I'm Brenda Cottonwood." She scooted over on the couch and extended her hand toward the woman. "Lovely to meet you dear. Not under these particular circumstances, of course." She smiled at Brenda and took her hand in a friendly shake. "I'm Mrs. Holmes. I brought by some brownies earlier today. From scratch I made them. It hurt my hands, what with my rheumatoid arthritis being what it is. That James boy must have stolen them after I spoke to him." "James boy?" "Um. The boy who claimed to be your cousin." Brenda made an 'o' with her mouth and looked into the fire. "No, he left the brownies." "He did?" "Yes." Brenda shivered. "I had the weirdest dream. This young man lying on a couch told me to go out to the porch and get the brownies. I woke up and just knew I had to look." She looked at Mrs. Holmes before shaking her head. " I know I sound crazy, but I went downstairs, opened the door and there they were, sitting on the railing. I couldn't believe it. I leaned down to smell them, and that was when I heard a man's voice." "What did he say?" Mrs. Holmes inquired gently. "Something about 'Good lord come in side already.' I think, but to be honest, it startled me so much, that I was terrified. I just ran." "And a good idea that was, deary." "I hope so." Suddenly there was a sharp knock at the door, making her jump in her seat. Glancing quickly at Mrs. Holmes, the older woman gave her a secure smile. "I bet its the sheriff here to look at your house deary." She shuffled to the door and began to talk in low tones to whom ever was there. A few seconds later, she brought an older man, who looked about fifty five or so into the room and smiled again at Brenda. "This is Sheriff Wilkes. He needs permission to search your house for the intruder." Brenda nodded quickly to stunned to speak. "Okay. I will be back in a few minutes Mrs. Holmes, Ms. Cottonwood. It shouldn't take very long at all." Brenda nodded mutely again and watched as he was ushered out the door. When she heard it click closed, she sighed. Maybe he wouldn't find anyone in her house and she can sum up the entire account to an over active imagination. But then who had Mrs. Holmes encountered on her porch earlier? She wasn't sure she wanted to know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ghostly Love Ch. 04 After ten minutes, Sheriff Wilkes was back at Mrs. Holmes door assuring Brenda that there was no one in her house and that there wasn't any evidence that there had been anyone in there to begin with. But to be sure, he was going to have a patrol car come around every fifteen minutes or so just to be sure she wasn't in any danger. Even with the Sheriff's well meaning enthusiasm about there being no one present in the house, Brenda was still frightened to be there alone. Mrs. Holmes patted her hand and smiled up at her. "Now, don't you worry any. If the Sheriff says that there is no one there, then there isn't. He's quite good at his job, you know. That's why he's the Sheriff." Brenda nodded more to herslef than Mrs. Holmes. "I am sure your right, Mrs. Holmes. I am positive you are." Mrs. Holmes walked her to her front door and left her there, smiling and saying she would be just fine. Brenda turned to the door that seperated her from the inside of the house. Don't be stupid Brenda, she told herself. There isn't anyone there. Just relax. She nodded to herself and took a deep breath before opening the door. Taking a step inside, she felt the screen door slam shut behind her, making her jump. "Damn it Bren, relax," she told herself aloud. Closing the front door softly, she kept her eyes trained on the rest of the house. When nothing jumped out at her, she smiled to herself. See? Fine. She walked to the back of the house turning on every light on her way to the kitchen. Light was good. The boogyman couldn't get you with the lights on. In the kitchen she turned on the over head light and sighed. She needed some milk. Yes, milk. That would help her get some sleep. Mother always made her warm milk when she couldn't sleep at night. Maybe that was all she needed. Ten minutes later she sat at the table in the kitchen sipping the warm milk. Glancing at the clock she sighed. She was going to have to get up for work in an hour. It was nearly two a.m. already. "Grrr...." Brenda stood and dumped the milk out. No reason to go back to bed now. She could go to Serevello and get an early start on the bread. Yes, that is exactly what she should do. She'd always ment to start earlier in the day. Smiling now, she trugged her way up stairs and into her bedroom, showing quickly and dressing even faster in loose fitting jeans and a clean white t-shirt. As she slipped her Nike Crosstrainers on and slipped a coat over her shoulders she could have swron she herd a voice. "Works too much..." Brenda smiled again and shook her head. Now she was thinking that Dan was here? Laughing at that, she grabbed her purse and keys, heading out of the house. There was nothing like getting a head start. Kell watched her get ready and tried not to smile. She thought she had a purpose. He supposed she did. He'd listened in, as if he could help it, on a phone call she had apparently made to her business partner. She had been bragging about how well the business had been going thus far. How popular it had become. He supposed she had something to be giddy about if the truth was what he had herd her say. She had built the beginnings of an empire it sounded like. But it also sounded as if she didn't want to expand. Just a small store, she had said repeatedly. When she slipped her large coat on, Kell couldn't help himself from mumbling "You work to much." Brenda had looked startled for a moment, but then must have decided that she thought it, because she smiled that smile again. Kell felt something deep inside him clench everytime she smiled like that. This time wasn't any diffrent. Ah, but if he had a body.... He knew that he wanted her. She was an attractive thing, and that smile... Aye, he wanted her. "Damned foolish thoughts," he berated himself. Aye he wanted her, but how was he to have her? He had naught a body to hold her, or lips in which to kiss her. "Damned foolish thoughts." He growled again. "She's turning me into milk toast." With that hanging in the air as she vanished out the door, he disappeared. ~~~~~~ It had been the day from hell. When Bren arrived at Serevello, everything seemed to be going well. She got half the product she needed done for the day done by her quarterly break. Pleased with herself, and not the least bit tired, when Jack came in at nine, Bren smiled at him and told him to go home. "You don't mean that Bren. I mean, we've got the weeks worth of rolls to do today, remember? For the McAfaree order? Its not possible that you can get it all done by yourself." Bren smiled and led him to the bin that held all of the fresh breads. "Holy christ, Boss, you've got half the order done already. How?" Jack stared at her waiting for an answer. But she didn't really have one. "Just felt engergized I guess." She shrugged her shoulders and headed back to the work table. "I still think I should stay boss. I mean, what if something goes wrong?" "Jack! Go home. I thought you would enjoy a day off." "I would-" "Then GO!" Brenda said laughingly. Waving him away, she listened to him whistle as he left to enjoy the beautiful day. It had all gone down hill from there. By noon, Brenda was over her head in orders for the week, and no way to do it on her own. She refused to call Jack, telling herself it wouldn't be fair to him. The doughnuts up front were sold out and needed more, the bagguttes were going like mad, and they needed to be remade, and the corn chowder (which was the soup of the day) was out. Brenda wanted to tear her hair out by the roots, but refrained because hair in the product would be a bad thing. By the time Serevello closed, Brenda sat at her work table, tears ready to fall. She hadn't gotten a break since eight that morning, and still had yet to eat. It was seven o'clock and Bren was usually home by one at the latest, and asleep by seven. But she was still sitting at her work table unsure of what to do next. "Hey you." Heather, Brenda's best friend and partner, opened the door to the bakery slightly smiling at Brenda before entering. "That was a doosy of a day!" "Your telling me." "You look stressed." "I'm usually in bed by now." Brenda shook her head. "And I'm starving." "I've got an idea!" Heather said triumphantly. "Lets get some take out and go to your place. I'm dying to see it." Brenda smiled weakly. "Sure. But I choose the place!" "Done," Heather said laughing. She helped Brenda up and talked while Brenda got ready to go. "Hey, here's an idea. Lets close up shop tomorrow. You know, just for the day." "But the profits-" "Will be fine. I'm the business end of this team, remember?" Heather swung her arm over Brenda's shoulders as they walked out and locked up. "Chinese food here I come!" Brenda laughed.