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Faith Falls

By: DwellerDark



I never really enjoyed going to camp growing up, so I'm not sure why I made the decision in the spring of 1995 to become a counselor that summer. I suppose I could blame it on pressure from my parents to get a summer job, or my dad's insistence that being a counselor could teach me valuable leadership skills before my freshman year of college began that fall. I was about to graduate high school, and the thought of working at a camp and spending a lot of time outdoors and having fun sounded like a much better alternative to working in a burger joint or department store, so I reluctantly agreed. Between that point and the start of summer, I wondered if I had made a bad decision, but I had already made my commitment and I was brought up to believe that keeping one's commitments is important.

During the last few weeks of anticipating summer, I cycled through memories of having been a camper at Faith Falls Christian Camp, which is located in scenic southeastern Pennsylvania. I had trouble finding the good memories among all the sad and depressing ones. I had never been one to make friends easily, and usually the weeklong camp session was not long enough to make any real friends, at least not the kind that you stay in any sort of contact with. So, for the most part, I spent that week each summer feeling lonely and bored, watching the other kids and wishing that I could be a part of a group, one of the "normal" kids that seemed to fit in so easily. To make matters worse, many of the other guys in my cabin would find girlfriends for the week --dubbed "The Great Camp Hook-Up," though generally the "hooking up" consisted of no more than hand-holding and maybe a kiss-- and girls didn't seem to be at all interested in me. I was a pale, awkward kid with no fashion sense or confidence with girls, and though I always hoped there would be a girl at camp who would see through that, it never happened during those many years I attended Faith Falls as a camper.

By the time I graduated high school, I had yet to have had a girlfriend or to have been on a real date. The only "date" I had been on was a double date --a blind date for me-- set up by my best friend Steve and his girlfriend, Tara, who was from another town and attended a different school. They tried to hook me up with her friend Gina, but about fifteen minutes into our date --which consisted of bowling and going to Burger King-- I felt like there was no chance of us connecting on any real level. She was a fairly "typical" girl, interested in the normal, trendy things that I either had trouble keeping up with or ignored. She was pretty, but she seemed to exhibit few traces of a personality. She mostly chewed her gum, talked to Tara, and stared blankly into space. I tried to be funny for her, but she didn't react to it and my confidence was quickly shattered. Tara laughed at my jokes, though, and to this day sometimes I wonder if she and I would have made a good couple. She and Steve broke up not long after that, due to his being a jerk to her half the time, and unfortunately I never saw her again.

I arrived at Faith Falls Christian Camp about two weeks before the first group of campers were to show up. There was a lot of cleaning and organizing to do, as well as some training for the counselors and staff. You had to be eighteen or older to work at the camp, and at eighteen I was one of the younger ones. Many of them had previous experience as well, and they didn't seem too eager to help me learn the ropes. When I was a camper, my memories of the counselors was mostly of them being caring individuals, but apparently they're not that way to you when you're a fellow counselor. This is a lesson I learned on the first day.

For that first evening at the camp, after a day of cleaning cabins, repairing the obstacle course, and who knows what else, the administrators held a "mixer" for the counselors and staff, with barbecue, easy-listening Christian music, and a lot of laughing and conversation. It became clear to me that many of these people already knew each other; either that or they were quick to make strong friendships. I ate at a table by myself, trying to look nonchalant but secretly watching the interactions of the other counselors. Most of the other guys were tan, in shape, and confident, and the girls were tan, pretty, and flirty. I wondered how it seemed so easy for people like them to carry themselves, wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, using the right posture. Every move I made was self-conscious in some way, and when I looked at myself in the mirror I saw a guy who didn't seem to be comfortable in his own skin. I felt like the clothes I wore were outdated and awkward, my skin was blemished and oily, and I slouched too much. No wonder no one wants to talk to you, I thought. No wonder girls don't want to date you, and guys don't want to be friends with you. These phrases were like a mantra to me, and they repeated in my head as I sat there alone in the corner, eating barbecue chicken and drinking weak fruit drink and wondering which of the girls I would want as my girlfriend if I could have any of them.

My eyes traveled from girl to girl, and for the most part I would say to myself, "Out of my league," and move on to the next. One of the girls I looked at and quickly wrote off for that reason was Hannah Rose, who stood in a group with several other girls. On that night she wore a ponytail, a baggy red shirt, and basketball shorts that accentuated her curves. She was stunningly beautiful, and that was enough of a reason for my mind to write her off. My eyes soon settled on Jessica Harper, who was not overly attractive but she had a pretty face and what looked like a new perm. I felt that she was probably the only girl in the room I might have a chance with --and who the other guys might not swarm over before I even had an opportunity to introduce myself-- so, for the moment, she became my focus.

The next day, as we were scrubbing the canoes down by the lake, I made an effort to be as close to Jessica Harper as I could. When she looked in my direction, I nervously introduced myself.

"Hi, I'm Tim," I said, holding my hand out to shake. Jessica looked at my hand and kind of smirked.

"I'm Jessica," she said reluctantly, but she didn't shake my hand. She turned away and went back to what she was doing.

Undeterred for the moment, I tried to make conversation.

"Have you been here before? Er, I mean, as a counselor?" I said, stumbling over my words.

"Yeah, I was here last year. Most of us were. We don't really know who you are," she said, with a voice that almost sounded disgusted.

"Yeah, I know. I'm new here."

"Really? Because I was here last year and I would have known if you were here. Duh!" Jessica said sharply, and one of her friends nearby giggled. Great, I thought. Only my second day and I've humiliated myself.

I decided not to talk anymore, for the time being.

For some reason, Jessica talked to me a few times over the course of that afternoon's work. Sometimes she acted nice, and other times she would put me down. I wasn't sure what to think of her. At this point in my life, being a very naive eighteen-year-old, I assumed that girls who weren't very pretty tended to make up for that deficiency by being nice. Jessica Harper was the reality check that taught me that this isn't necessarily so. Still, for the early part of my time as a counselor at Faith Falls Christian Camp, she was one of the few people who would talk to me, so I stayed close to her when the opportunity presented itself.

During meals, she often invited me to sit with her and her friends. She made me the butt of her jokes, and managed to pick up an impersonation of me that her friends found pretty funny, but I was finally feeling comfortable and, in a way, accepted, so I laughed it off. Some of the girls responded to my self-deprecating style of humor, and making them laugh, even at my own expense, made me feel normal, in some way.

Before the first round of campers even arrived, there were multiple hook-ups among the counselors, something that was officially discouraged by the camp administrators but in reality was tolerated and even encouraged by the fact that the male and female counselors had many opportunities to find "alone time." Since I wasn't in the loop, so to speak, I didn't know the extent of what went on among the counselors at that camp, but I heard enough hearsay to make me blush on more than one occasion. Then again, at this age, I was immature and idealistic, having been raised in a strict Christian household and clinging to a strong and traditional set of morals.

During a hike through the woods on the outskirts of camp, on the day before the first campers were to show up, Jessica confessed to me that she had been a part of one of these hook-ups the previous summer, with a guy named Dan that hadn't returned to the camp, according to her.

"He was older. Thirty-two," she said, almost proudly.

"He was still single?"

"Yeah, but he could have been married if he wanted to be. He just wanted to play the field before settling down." Jessica sounded almost defensive, as if I had accused her of playing around with some sort of loser.

I didn't push the conversation any further, but it was obvious that Jessica either wanted to get something off her chest or brag to me about her experience.

"We did so many things," she said, and I looked at her face and she suddenly seemed ugly to me. I think she expected me to ask for details, but when I didn't, she pouted a bit and then took the opportunity to jab me. "You have no idea. You've probably never even done anything like that. You'll be a virgin 'til you're thirty-five."

My face burned and I pouted a bit, hurt by what she said. Sex wasn't the sort of thing that I thought about a lot, because I was determined not to do it until I was married. Marriage, however, seemed like a distant possibility to a guy who hadn't even had a girlfriend or any girl who expressed interest in him.

"He put his hands all over my tits. He even sucked on them," she said. "Have you ever sucked on a girl's tits? I'm sure you haven't."

I didn't respond. Jessica sort of laughed at me. As much as she was annoying me, though, I started to get an involuntary hard-on.

"I'll bet you want to see them, don't you? You're probably getting hard just thinking about it," she smirked. "Yeah, I touched his dick, and he shot his white stuff all over the leaves. And he put his hand in my underwear. He knew just what to do to make me feel good all over. He put his fingers inside me. Inside my ass, too. That really got me wet."

My face was surely beet-red by this point, and I tried to walk more quickly to get away from Jessica. My dignity couldn't take any more beatings from this girl, and I wished more than ever that I had never come to this camp.

"Why are you walking so fast? Wait, Tim, wait!" Jessica walked fast to catch up to me, then pulled on my shirt collar with a fat hand.

"Don't be mad, Tim, I'm just messing around. Boy, you need to grow up!" she said, and I finally looked into her eyes, hoping she would see how angry I was and back up.

"Don't tell me what I need to do!" I said, gritting my teeth. "I don't want to hear this... this... SHIT!"

I yelled the last word with a surprising amount of conviction, considering I rarely swore and never around people at this point in my life.

"Calm down, boy, calm down. I was just teasing you," Jessica said.

"Sometimes it seems like you hate me, like everyone here hates me! Why do you even want to hang around with me, if all you ever do is make fun of me?" I hoped that I wouldn't cry, though my eyes became wet as I spoke these words.

"I'm just trying to bring you out of your shell!" Jessica said, her voice now fierce to match mine. "You come out here, from Who Gives A Fuck, Pennsylvania, nobody knows who you are, and you don't talk to anyone. I'm just trying to make you more normal, so you'll fit in here. So people won't think you're so weird."

"Maybe I am weird. Maybe I don't fit in with this stupid place," I said, and I started to storm off. Jessica chased after me and found that she had to get in front of me and physically stop me.

"Will you stop walking off, stomping your feet like a spoiled baby?" she said. I stopped and just looked at her. We just stood there for a few minutes, not speaking. Her eyes and face softened. I started to think about her talk about the guy who sucked on her breasts and put his hand in her panties. My hard-on returned. It was uncomfortable in my shorts, and I tried to adjust it nonchalantly. Jessica noticed, and looked straight at the bulge in my shorts.

"You're not hard now, are you?"

I shook my head, but then I saw the look in her eyes, a look that almost appeared to be... arousal. I decided to be honest with her.

"Yeah." My face turned even redder. My legs felt weak.

"Why?"

"All that stuff you said."

She just looked at me, as if wanting me to be more specific.

"Um, about the things that that guy did to you."

"Really?" she said, "That turned you on?"

"I guess. I've never heard a girl talk like that."

Jessica took a step closer to me. She was looking in my eyes. "Can I see it?"

"What? No!" I said, but my resolve was weak. I felt desperate, like I had an opportunity here that I might never have again.

"Why not? I'll show you something," she said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not shy about it. Do you want to see my tits, or my pussy?"

"Uh, I guess... uh... both?"

Jessica smiled. She bit her lip, and then lifted her shirt and bra. Her rather large breasts, with suitably large nipples, popped out of her shirt. It was the first pair of breasts I had seen in person, at least that I could remember. They were pale white, with dark pink areolas. Her areolas were not nearly the same size, and --if I think about it honestly, years later-- they were actually rather unattractive breasts. But to me, in that moment, it was a revelation. The first time a girl had thought enough of me to show me what she had under her clothes. I wanted to touch them. I stepped closer to her. She backed up a step and lowered her shirt. She shook her head, turned away from me, and fixed her bra. I wasn't sure what to make of all this. I turned towards what I thought was the quickest way back to camp and began walking fast. Jessica called my name a few times but didn't walk after me. I realized why she didn't follow me later on when I arrived back at the camp and saw that she had gotten there quicker than me, and I understood that I had actually taken the long way back. She didn't speak to me any more that day, and I thought that maybe I had ruined my one chance with a girl that summer.

At one point during dinner that evening --which I ate by myself-- I looked over at Jessica's table and one of her friends caught my glance. The friend said something to Jessica and the other girls at the table, and they laughed loudly. I wondered what Jessica had told them, if anything.

I didn't see much of Jessica the following week, because the first group of campers arrived for their weeklong stay, and at this point the male and female counselors would not see much of each other, except when around the campers. I was just fine with not seeing her, though, because I was annoyed with her. Yet part of me wanted her. Part of me hoped I had said "your pussy" in response to her asking which part of her I wanted to see, just so I could know what that looked like, if hers was covered in hair, and, if so, what color the hair was. I guessed it was black because of her dark hair, but I didn't know for sure. I scolded myself for thinking like this. Before our hike, I hadn't really ever thought of Jessica in that way, and I probably would have been contented not to. But now the thoughts were unchained and began to occupy my mind, no matter how hard I tried to push them out.

On Wednesday of the first official week of camp, my cabin and another boys' cabin were scheduled to play a game of kickball with two girls' cabins. This was one of the few truly mixed-gender activities the camp had, as the boys and girls were often kept separate, residing on opposite sides of the lake, and even eating meals on opposite sides of the cafeteria. I was one of four supervisors of the game, along with the counselors of each of the other cabins: a guy named Mark, a girl named Julie, and Hannah Rose. Mark and Julie knew each other already, so they chatted away while the game was in progress. I was feeling kind of deflated at this point, so I stood back and kept to myself, at least until Hannah approached me.

"You're Tim, right?" she asked. She was soft-spoken, and I hadn't expected that.

"Yeah, Tim Marsh," I said.

"Hi, Tim Marsh. That's a nice name. You look like a Tim," Hannah said. At first I thought she was poking fun at me, but there was no indication of that in her smile.

"Thanks," I said, suddenly feeling shy and looking away. "Jessica makes fun of my name. She'll fill her mouth with food and say 'I'm Tim Marsh!' because she says my name sounds the same whether or not a person has food in their mouth when they say it."

I wasn't sure why I said all this to a girl I hadn't even spoken to before, but I think I was venting some of my hurt feelings. I looked down and began staring at a groove I was kicking into the dirt.

"Wow," Hannah said, "that doesn't sound nice at all."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm Hannah, by the way. Hannah Rose. No calling me Hannah Banana, okay? Everyone does."

I looked up at her and saw that she was smiling sweetly at me. I had encountered so much enmity at Faith Falls so far that I was actually shocked to see a kind face.

"Hannah Banana? That's not very creative," I said, and she giggled.

"No, but everyone thinks they're so clever when they say it, like they're the first ones to realize my name rhymes with 'banana,'" she said.

I laughed but didn't know how to respond. I noticed now that Hannah might actually be a little shy, because she noticed me looking at her and looked away, almost as if embarrassed.

"But it's okay. I'm used to it now."

"It doesn't sound like you're used to it. Because why would you include that 'No Hannah Banana' stuff as part of your introduction if it didn't bother you? I'll bet it's eating away at you as we speak," I said this last bit with a mock serious voice so she would know that I was only teasing. Hannah laughed and continued to smile at me.

"You're right, Tim. I think I'm going to go jump off a bridge now," she said sarcastically, but there was no bite to it. Her voice was as gentle as the breeze, her smile as warm as the June sun above us.

"I notice that you spend a lot of time by yourself, Tim," she said after some silence, "but I don't know why. You seem like a nice guy."

"I don't know... I mean, I hang out with Jessica sometimes," I said, a little defensively.

Hannah paused for a few seconds, as if trying to decide whether or not to tell me something.

Then she said, "I don't want to say bad things about someone, but Jessica was here last year, and so was I, so I think I know her kind of well. She's... not really a nice person. I could be wrong, maybe she's nicer once you get to know her, but I just..." Hannah paused again, trying to find the right words, "I get a bad impression of her."

"Is it because of Dan?"

"Dan? Who's Dan?" she said.

"Jessica told me she knew a guy last year at camp named Dan. She said he was like thirty-two."

"I don't..." Hannah paused as if searching her brain's memory banks, "I don't remember anyone like that. Are you sure she's not lying to you?"

"I don't know," I said, burying my head in my hands in frustration, "I can't figure her out at all. Sometimes it seems like she likes me, and sometimes she's mean to me. Why are girls like that?"


Faith Falls



Hannah giggled. "We're not all like that. At least I don't think I'm like that. Maybe you should hang out with me instead. Especially now that we both know not to make fun of each other's names. That topic's off-limits, right?"

"Right," I said, smiling.

Hannah looked back over to the game and said, "I think we should probably watch the game and make sure they play fair. It doesn't look like Mark and Julie are watching too closely."

I looked at Mark and Julie and saw that neither of them were actually facing the field where the game was taking place.

Hannah smiled at me. "Well, anyway, it's nice to meet you, Tim."

"You too." I smiled back.

The first group of campers left that Friday night, and since the next group wouldn't arrive until Sunday afternoon, the time in-between was to be spent cleaning and maintaining the camp before the next round. That Saturday morning I was sweeping out my cabin when Jessica arrived at the screen door and let herself in.

"Hey, champ. I haven't seen you much lately," she said, not really making eye contact with me. I continued sweeping.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"I'm just cleaning," I said.

"You wanna go for a walk?"

"Can't I finish this first?" I was getting somewhat annoyed.

"You can finish it later. It's just sweeping. There's plenty of time for that," she said.

Reluctantly, I agreed, so we walked along the same path we had been on the week before.

"I couldn't figure out why you ran off like that last week," Jessica said as we walked.

"I didn't know what it meant. What your signals meant."

"What signals?"

"You know, when you pulled your shirt down and shook your head at me. I thought maybe I did something wrong," I said.

"No, I just didn't know what you wanted to do," she said. Then, after a long pause, she added, "What did you want to do?"

"I don't know. I guess I wanted to, um, touch them, I guess." I said. I was blushing. I was starting to get hard again when the image of her naked breasts flashed into my mind.

"Oh," Jessica said, looking at the ground rather than at me. "Well, you can if you want. I was just scared."

I sighed, feeling tired of being toyed with, but full of curiosity and sexual energy. We stopped and stood there a few seconds, listening for any signs of nearby activity. There were none. Jessica led me about fifty feet off the trail, behind a decent wall of tree branches and bushes. Anybody who came along the trail would have a difficult time seeing us unless they were really looking.

Jessica unhooked her bra and pulled it out from under her shirt. Then, looking at me, she slowly lifted her shirt, exposing her breasts to my gaze again. I reached out and touched the right one, gingerly at first, feeling the soft skin. I traced my finger in a circle around the edge of her areola, then took her nipple between my thumb and forefinger. She sighed and closed her eyes. I held her right breast, and then both, feeling the weight of them, feeling her nipples beneath my thumbs. Jessica pursed her lips, and I realized then that I didn't really like this girl and didn't want to kiss her. I let go of her breasts and she stood there staring at me. She looked hurt at first, and then kind of angry.

"Why did you stop?" she said.

"I don't know if I want to do this."

"Why the fuck not? You like girls, don't you?"

"Yes!" I hissed.

"Then what's your fucking problem, weirdo?" Jessica seethed with rage. I took a step back, because I thought that maybe she'd punch me.

"Listen, I want to see your dick. Show it to me!"

"No."

"Do it!" She was practically yelling now.

"No!"

"If you let me see your dick, I'll show you my pussy. I'll even let you touch it."

My resolve again crumbled, because I was curious to see it, and the thought of even being able to touch her there, to touch any girl there, was a strong temptation.

"Fine," I said. I walked over to her, held my breath, and pulled my swollen cock from my shorts. Jessica's eyes lit up when she saw it.

"Wow, not bad!"

"Really?" It was news to me. I had never compared it with anyone else's.

"Yeah," she said, and she grabbed it. Her grip was rough, and I didn't like it. I had imagined that the first time a woman held my cock would be gentler and more romantic than that. But there was nothing gentle or romantic about Jessica.

She didn't stroke it or anything. She just held it tight, like she was trying to crush it. I was annoyed and confused. I was just glad that she hadn't taken my balls in her vice grip hands instead.

"Okay, weirdo, touch my pussy if you want," she said, releasing her grip on my cock. She was frowning at me. She held the front of her shorts out, and I saw a mass of thick, black hair against the white of her underwear. I put my hand into her shorts, into her underwear, feeling the wiry hair against my fingertips. She didn't offer any resistance, so my fingers explored deeper and found her slit, which was well-lubricated. She started to breathe heavily when my fingers reached the wetness, and although I didn't know what I was doing it seemed that she was enjoying it. I slipped a finger into her vagina and begin to move it in and out of her. I could hear wet sucking sounds as I fingered her, and I added a second finger to it. She spread her legs further and held herself up by leaning her arm on my shoulder. My knees strained under the weight, but my hormones had taken over and I wanted to keep exploring her.

After a few minutes, I found her clit and began to rub it. Jessica enjoyed this even more, as evidenced by her breathing. Her legs were now spread wide enough that I could reach underneath her. For some reason, I had the impulse to touch her asshole. This turned out to be a big mistake, because shortly after my wandering fingertip found it, she pulled my hand out of her shorts violently.

"You freak!" she yelled. "What is wrong with you? That's my asshole!"

"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to touch you there," I said, my voice sounding weak.

"'I'm sorry, I duh duh duh duh duh!" she said, mocking me. "Just wait until I tell everyone what you tried to do, fuckface."

"No, no, don't!" I said. My mind was spinning. I realized that my cock was still hanging out of my shorts, so I quickly remedied that. Jessica laughed, and then turned around and walked quickly back towards camp. Part of me knew that she wouldn't tell anyone what happened, but that rational part of me had trouble raising its voice above the panic that was overwhelming me. What had I done? Would I be forced to leave camp? What would I tell my parents? Tears started to form in my eyes, and when I wiped them away, my nose caught the scent of Jessica's vaginal juices on my fingers. It was not a bad scent, not at all, actually, but it was evidence of my weakness and the wave of guilt that was washing over me, and the scent of it tickled my gag reflex. I lost my breakfast there in the woods, and even after my stomach stopped heaving, I thought I was going to pass out. My head spun and I had to close my eyes. I knelt there for several minutes, then sheepishly made my way back to camp.

I walked into the men's bathroom, relieved to find it empty. Everyone else was busy at their cabins or working somewhere else at Faith Falls. Underneath my nausea I could feel a sensation of my balls hurting. Blue balls. This is the first time I had ever experienced it. I hadn't masturbated since arriving at camp, even after seeing Jessica's breasts the previous week. I felt that I needed to take care of that or else I'd have trouble walking the rest of the day. I sat in a stall, my cock in one hand. I breathed in Jessica's scent again and found it easy to masturbate to climax quickly, despite being so upset with her and with myself. I ejaculated long, thick globs of semen, a build-up of more than three weeks. When it was done, I felt nothing but shame. The scent that had brought me to climax made me feel nauseous again. I washed my hands thoroughly, returned to my cabin, and lay in my bed for a while, listening for laughing voices or any other sign that my terrible story was being told around camp. Hearing nothing but the whispers of leaves, I began to cry softly. I hated Jessica. I hated myself. I hated Faith Falls Christian Camp. I wished I were dead.

After crying, I lay there staring at the rough-hewn beams of the cabin roof. I lay there for probably an hour or more, ignoring the sound of the lunch bell, which was actually just a recording of a lunch bell played over the PA system that was strung around camp.

The wind picked up outside and it started to drizzle a bit. I felt homesick, and I choked down tears as I thought about sitting on my porch at home, reading a nice book. I seriously considered walking to the administration building and telling them I couldn't hoof it anymore. They'd probably try to talk me out of it --they'd tell me I was just homesick and that it would pass, and that I needed a stronger spine and stronger faith-- but I wouldn't budge. I'd simply turn around and walk out the door, ignoring their protests. Then I'd come back here and pack my suitcases. It would take all of five minutes to do. It would be so easy.

My daydream was interrupted by a knocking on my cabin's screen door. I looked towards the door and saw Hannah Rose standing on the other side. She gave me a nervous smile and a little wave. I felt embarrassed for her to see me in this state, so I turned away and hoped she would take the hint. She didn't. She opened the door and stood just inside for several moments. I was turned away from her, so I couldn't see what she was doing, but I imagine she was looking puzzled and struggling to find the right words.

"Are you okay? You look sick," she said. I didn't answer for several seconds.

"I'm o-okay." I could feel my throat seizing up, and I realized I was probably a little dehydrated.

"I brought you some lunch. You weren't at the cafeteria," she said.

"Did an-anyone notice?"

She paused for a few seconds, then said, "I noticed. I grabbed you some food on the way out."

I turned back to look at her. She had taken a few steps towards me and was standing about ten feet from me. There was a look of concern when she saw my tear-stained face and red eyes.

"Thanks," I said. I was genuinely touched.

"You've been crying?"

"A little."

Hannah sat on the bunk closest to my bed and laid the paper plate of food beside her.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked. I knew I couldn't.

"I'm okay. Maybe a little homesick." This was not the whole truth, but it was part of it.

"I understand. It happens to all of us, I think," Hannah said. "It happened to me a lot last year. I wasn't sure how I'd get through it. But after a few more weeks it was gone. This place sort of became like home to me."

"I don't think that will happen to me. I don't think this place will ever be like home," I said.

"You've had kind of a rough start. I'm kind of shy, myself. I don't make friends too easily," Hannah said.

"You seem to be doing okay."

"That's because I was here last year and I know most of these people. Most of them aren't really friends, but they're familiar faces. They got used to me, and they treat me okay."

"Yeah, but you're you. You're not me. I don't think I'll ever fit in with any of them," I said. I was feeling miserable and angry.

"I don't think it's you, Tim. You're not the problem," Hannah said, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. "Most of these people, they all come from the same circle of churches. I'd say probably half of them are from First Baptist in Greendale. They're cliquish. They look at outsiders with some sort of suspicion. You had that going against you the moment you arrived here. And believe it or not, I've experienced it, too. Where are you from?"

"West Chester," I said.

"See, at least you're from the same state. I'm from New Jersey. I'm the only New Jersey person I know of here. So I had that working against me. But I decided I wouldn't let that cliquishness bother me. I just did my job and tried to be nice to people, and eventually they warmed up to me. Or at least tolerated me," Hannah said, smiling at the end.

I smiled back. Hannah got up, brought the plate of food and placed it on my bed, and sat cross-legged on the floor only a few feet from me.

"Just focus on the job at hand. Keep focusing on being a good counselor to these kids. Focus on their needs before your own. The rest will take care of itself, I promise," she said. I felt warm inside. I really liked Hannah. I figured that a beautiful girl like her would never have any romantic interest in me, but the fact that she was showing me such attention and concern made me feel like at least I had made my first good friend of the summer.

We sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything. I ate some of the food she had brought me, every once in a while stealing a glance at her. Hannah's light-brown hair --with blonde highlights-- fell a little past her shoulders. This was the first time I had seen her without the ponytail. Her blue eyes sparkled. As she smiled watching me eat my lunch, I admired her perfect white teeth. She was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen, I felt at that moment. To this day, I struggle to think of anyone prettier than Hannah among the many women with whom I've crossed paths.

"Have you been here all day?" she said, her face changing as if an unpleasant thought suddenly formed.

"Well, I started sweeping out my cabin. Then I took a walk. I neglected to finish cleaning when I got back."

"Hmm," she said, "You might want to be careful. When they feel that a counselor hasn't been pulling their weight in the cleaning effort, they put that counselor on bathroom cleaning duty for the rest of the summer."

"Uh oh, really?"

"Yeah. It happened to Jessica last year. Boy, she was mad," Hannah said, and I think there might have been a twinkle of delight in her eye when she thought of Jessica being forced to clean toilets all summer.

"Ha, good," I said. Hannah looked a little confused at my reaction. I felt that I needed to explain myself.

"I think you were right about her, that she isn't a very nice person," I said. I hoped she wouldn't ask me to go into any detail.

"I never really figured her out," Hannah said. "She seems to seek attention, but not really the good kind. She was caught lying a few times last summer, about silly things. I think people take anything she says with a grain of salt."

"I hope so," I said, realizing too late that I might have said too much. Hannah reacted with a confused expression again.

"Is this about her? The reason you've been sort of staying hidden here?"

"I... I can't really talk about it. I'm sorry, Hannah," I said. She just smiled again, and reached out a hand to touch my knee.

"It's fine, Tim. Whatever it was, don't worry about it. Tomorrow another batch of campers will arrive and you'll be too busy to care." With that, Hannah stood up, turned to face the door, paused, and then turned back to face me.

"And you've got me to watch your back, okay? I'm your friend. Don't forget that." Hannah grabbed my arm gently, looked into my eyes, and then walked away.

"I'll see you at dinner, okay? Come and sit with me, if you want. You don't have to, of course," she said as she walked towards the door.

"I'd like to, if that's okay."

Hannah pushed open the screen door, turned around to face me again, and said, "It's more than okay."

She smiled and then left.

Hannah was right. I focused on the needs of the next batch of kids who were assigned to my cabin, and within a day or two I had forgotten my shame and anger about Jessica. I didn't see much of Hannah that week because our jobs as counselors kept us busy, but we crossed paths a few times that week and she always had a smile and a greeting for me. She was still the only friend I had at camp, but she made me feel so happy that I felt I didn't need any more. That week was the first good week I had as a counselor at Faith Falls, and I was actually sad to see the kids leave that Friday evening.

After the campers had departed for their homes, I walked from the meeting hall to my cabin, which was about a half-mile trek through the woods. It was the furthest cabin from the meeting hall, and I had to walk past all the other boys' cabins in order to get to it. A group of male counselors were standing around outside one of the cabins, and though I hoped they would ignore me as I strolled by, they didn't.

"Hey, Marsh! Off to the serial killer convention?" one of the guys, Adam, said as I tried to sneak past. The other guys laughed. I think one of them high-fived him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said. Normally I would have just kept walking, but I was in a bit of a manic mood and I felt confrontational.

"Well, you never talk to anyone, and you obviously can't keep a girl. What else are we supposed to think about you?" Adam said as he leaned against the cabin. "If one of the campers goes missing this summer, we're gonna start the search by digging up the ground underneath your cabin."

I couldn't think of a comeback for this, so I just stood my ground, gritting my teeth slightly.

"What, did we discover your horrible secret?" another counselor, Jeremy, said. "We all better sleep with one eye open tonight!" More laughter.

"What's this about not keeping a girl?" I said. "Are you talking about Jessica?"

"Of course," Adam said. "Who else?"

"Jessica is..." I was going to say "a nutcase," but I restrained myself. "We didn't get along. That's why I don't hang out with her anymore."

"Jessica's a freak. She doesn't have any standards," Jeremy said. "And yet she still couldn't stand to be around you. Must make you feel like shit, huh?"

"No," I said, but I didn't know how to follow it up. I hated Jessica, but I didn't like to talk bad about people behind their backs.

"Well, you should, Marsh," a counselor named Chris said. "I don't even know what you're doing at this place. You're creepy. Nobody likes you. Why don't you go home?"

"You don't even know me," I said. "You judged me before you even knew me, as soon as I got here. I don't know what you have against me. I haven't done anything to any of you."

"Oh yes, yes you did," Adam said. "You know who was going to be assigned to your cabin? Frank Edwards. He's our friend. He's one of us. But you had to go and send in your application early, like a fucking do-gooder pussy, and there was no room for Frank. So instead of having a guy around that we all want to hang out with, we get the creepy little serial killer Tim Marsh."

"Yeah, Frank's the best," Chris said. "The girls liked him, the kids liked him, the guy could canoe and play football and make everybody laugh. You're pathetic. You'll never be Frank. Why don't you just go home?"

"I'm sorry about Frank, all right? I didn't know. I was just trying to learn some leadership skills and help some kids," I said, which just brought out laughter from the group. I was furious, so I turned away and marched back to my cabin. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. After having such a good week, I was back where I had started.

I didn't speak to anyone else that night. I passed a few of the guys on my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but I didn't say anything to them and they didn't say anything to me. I figured that this was how it was going to be for the rest of the summer.

The next morning I got up early and cleaned my cabin. I was still upset, but I certainly didn't want to be stuck cleaning the toilets for the rest of the summer. Also, my parents were planning to visit that day, though I wasn't sure I wanted them to. Would they see how badly the other counselors were treating me? Would they see it in my face as soon as they saw me? Would they feel embarrassed or sad for me? I didn't even know what to tell them when they asked me the inevitable question: "Are you having a good time so far?" I didn't like lying to my parents. I tried to be as open as possible with them, but I wasn't sure I wanted them to know how unhappy I was.




Faith Falls



I didn't even want to sit with Hannah at lunch, because I didn't want her to see how mopey and miserable I was. No sense alienating my one friend at camp. I sat at a table by myself in the cafeteria, and Hannah immediately began making hand signals to show me that she wanted me to eat at her table. I simply waved and stared at my food while eating by myself. Hannah was sitting with a group of girls, but she took her tray and came over to my table.

"You all right?" she asked as soon as she sat down across the table from me.

"Not really. I got in an argument with some of the guys last night," I said in a low voice.

"What about?" Hannah leaned over her tray in order to be able to hear me more clearly. She pushed her glass of orange juice about an inch with her chest, and for a split second I thought the glass would be knocked over. It didn't, though, and Hannah tried to pretend it didn't happen. I thought I caught her blushing, though.

"They said that the guy who was supposed to be in my cabin, some guy named Frank, wasn't allowed to be a counselor this year because I took his place. They all hate me because of that," I said, still mostly staring at my food rather than looking her in the eye.

"I remember Frank from last year. He was just like those guys," Hannah said.

"Great."

"I don't really mean that in a good way. He was kind of loud, kind of obnoxious. He had this thing where he would teach a girl to canoe... you know, one of the girl counselors, not a camper. Anyway, he'd always find some way to tip her canoe. And I think he did it because, you know, it would make their t-shirts all wet... and see-through." Hannah was definitely blushing after that. I had a feeling that she was more like me than I had originally thought. Maybe she was as shy and inexperienced as I was about sexual things. I had been shocked to see, or, rather, hear, how sexually experienced the counselors at this camp appeared to be. This had been yet another source of insecurity for me, and I think that had something to do with why I was so willing to fool around with Jessica. However, I didn't feel any more mature than when I arrived here. I just felt that I had wasted my first encounter of any sort of a sexual nature with an ugly, mean girl. I was still a virgin, though; at least she hadn't taken that from me.

"Did he do that to a lot of girls?" I said. I wasn't sure why I was asking that.

"I guess so," Hannah said. She bit her lip and looked at her tray for a few seconds. "He did it to me."

"Really? I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said. "I should have known better. I was stupid then. I think I had kind of a crush on him."

"Great."

Hannah seemed to detect my jealousy, because she didn't say anything for a while. I felt bad for saying it. I was jealous, though, and a little bitter. I thought, why couldn't a girl like her ever "get a crush" on me? Why is it always sexually aggressive guys like Frank, who does things like that?

"I'm sorry, Hannah, I wasn't trying to be mean."

"It's okay, you weren't being mean," Hannah said, and she placed one of her sandal-clad feet on top of my right foot. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm glad you're here and Frank's not."

"You are?" I said, and I felt a smile form on my face. Hannah smiled back.

"I am."

We didn't say anything for several minutes, until I remembered my parents' visit.

"My parents are coming to visit me today," I said.

"Cool! Can I meet them?"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course! Are you going to give them a tour of the camp?"

"I don't think so. They've been here before, on church retreats and stuff. Plus they used to drop me off and pick me up when I was a camper here," I said.

"You were a camper here?"

"Yeah. I used to come here for a week every summer. I loved this place. That's why I wanted to be a counselor."

"I used to come here once every summer, too," Hannah said. "Who knows? Maybe we were here the same week once or twice."

"Maybe," I said, and I started to search my memory banks for any recollection of a girl like Hannah in my years as a camper. "I probably would have been too shy to say hello, though."

"Me too," Hannah said. "Especially with boys. Did you ever have a camp girlfriend?"

"No. I've never had any sort of girlfriend, camp or otherwise. Kind of pathetic, huh?"

"No, it's not. Sometimes it's better just to wait for the right one," Hannah said.

"Sure, but by the time the right one comes along, I won't know what to do with her," I said. I didn't realize at first that what I said could be taken in more than one way. I hadn't intended it in a sexual way, but Hannah's face turned red and it dawned on me what I had said.

"I mean, like, I won't know how to talk to her or anything, and she won't want to be my girlfriend." I was trying to dig myself out of a hole. Hannah started to giggle. I felt relieved when she laughed because I was afraid she would be angry with me. I started to laugh as well.

My parents arrived a few hours later, and I met them just outside the meeting hall. I shook my dad's hand and hugged my mom. They handed me a "care package" which contained some cookies, gum, chips, and other assorted items I had been mostly living without. We sat on a bench outside, enjoying the mild Saturday afternoon temperatures.

"You're finally getting some sun," my mom said. "It looks like you're getting in shape, too. Are you doing a lot of activities and stuff?"

"I guess. Mostly I end up supervising, though. I want to learn to canoe, but I haven't yet. I play a lot of kickball with the kids, mostly," I said.

"So you're having a good time?" she asked. My stomach seized up. My parents both stared at me for what felt like several minutes.

"I don't know."

"What?" my dad said. "How do you not know?"

"It's complicated," I said.

"Why? What's going on?" my mom asked.

"Well, I mean, I enjoy being a counselor, but I don't get along that well with the other counselors... most of them, I mean. A lot of them know each other, and they don't know me, and they're sort of... stand-offish with me, I guess."

"You don't know any of them from coming here all these years?" my dad asked.

"No. I know a few of the administrators, but none of the counselors. But it's okay. I'm getting by. The campers have been great."

"Well, that's good, then," my mom said. Her face still had some concern in it.

Just then, Hannah appeared. My parents both looked at her as she approached, thinking she was just happening to walk by at that moment.

"She's pretty," my mom said.

"That's Hannah. She's one of the few people here that has been nice to me," I said. I wasn't able to take my eyes off of Hannah as she approached. She waved when she got closer, and I waved back sheepishly.

"Hi, Tim's parents!" Hannah said excitedly, "I'm Hannah! It's so nice to meet you!" She hugged both my mom and dad, and then sat on the bench next to me. Very close to me, I felt, like a girl would sit next to her boyfriend.

"It's nice to meet you too, Hannah," my mom said. "Are you keeping our boy out of trouble?"

"Mom!" I said in mock embarrassment. I saw in both my parents' eyes that they noticed how close to me Hannah was sitting. I wondered why she had done that. It wasn't as if... oh God, could it be possible? No, no, don't be stupid. But it feels nice, even if it's not real. My mom and dad looked at each other. I looked at Hannah, trying to see if she noticed my parents' reaction. She was just smiling. Her smile was beautiful, pure.

We walked around camp for a while. My parents wanted to see my cabin. Hannah stayed close to me. It felt good to have her so close. I started to allow myself to wonder what it would be like to have her as a girlfriend. I still felt that it wasn't possible, but I was now allowing myself to daydream about it.

Every once in a while we passed one of the other counselors, who made a display of being kind to me. A few of them seemed to be surprised to see Hannah walking with me. I figured I would hear about that from them later. Oh well, I thought. Can't help that now.

When we passed the lake, my dad asked Hannah if she knew how to canoe.

"I know enough to move around slowly. At least I don't just paddle around in a circle anymore," she said sweetly.

"Then maybe you can teach Tim to canoe. He says he wants to learn how," my dad said. I was embarrassed and blushing.

"Oh really now?" she said, looking at me. "You're not afraid I'm going to tip your canoe, are you?"

"I don't know. Is it easy to do?" I said.

"Pretty easy. I've had it done to me before," she said, and elbowed me.

About an hour later, Hannah and I waved at my parents as they pulled out of the parking lot. When they had disappeared from sight, we just stood there a few minutes, looking at each other.

"Thanks for being so nice to my parents," I said.

"No problem. I like them."

"I think maybe they think you're my girlfriend now."

Hannah smiled. "And what would give them that idea?" she asked.

"You know, like how you were sitting close to me," I said, "And when we were walking, you were sort of walking close to me."

Hannah smiled and sort of looked away. "I just thought that maybe they'd see you're okay, and that they don't have to worry about you."

"Oh," I said, feeling slightly sad again. I wanted to follow it up with "Is that all it was?" but I already knew the answer would be something like, "Yes, of course? What did you think it was?" I looked off in the distance, not wanting her to see the disappointment in my face. In my peripheral vision, I could see her trying to read my expression.

"Tim..." she said, "It's just..."

"It's okay, Hannah. I like being friends with you. That's all I want," I said, hoping I didn't sound too upset. Hannah looked confused but she just nodded her head in response. We walked to the dining hall together, not saying anything on the way. She was still staying close to me. When I caught sight of someone in the distance, I thought she'd pull away, but she didn't. She just walked next to me, almost touching my arm.

That evening, after dinner, Hannah gave me my first canoeing lesson. The crickets were chirping loudly, and the light was fading. I sat in the front of the canoe, and Hannah sat in the back, taking the responsibility of steering while instructing me on what to do. We were out on the lake until it got too dark to be safe, so Hannah turned the canoe around and guided it back to shore.

"Not bad for your first time out, Tim," she said as we approached the boat storage area. I saw a group of counselors walking along one of the paths that skirted the lake shore, and they pointed at us and talked in hushed voices. I glanced back to see that Hannah had noticed them as well. To my surprise, she was smiling, and when her eyes met mine she smiled even bigger.

We dragged the canoe onto shore, and stood there for a few minutes, just looking up at the night sky and listening to the crickets. I could never see all the innumerable stars in the skies of West Chester, but we were in a remote enough area that there was no light pollution from the city.

"I never get used to it," Hannah said, and she stepped very close to me.

"Me neither. It's really amazing."

"It's hard to believe they're up there all the time, but we throw so much light into the sky that it keeps them from us."

"Yeah," I said, "I think that if I lived the rest of my life out here, I'd never grow tired of looking at it."

Just then, I felt a warm hand slide into mine. Hannah's fingers interlocked with my own, and I felt an incredible happiness wash over me. I didn't know what this meant, but we were sharing some sort of special moment. I looked at Hannah, and she was smiling at me sweetly.

I heard some footsteps behind me and to the left, and when I turned around I saw two female counselors walking by on the dirt trail, about twelve feet away. They looked at us as they walked by, but didn't say anything. When they had passed out of view --it was getting dark by now-- Hannah let go of my hand and looked up at the sky again.

I immediately felt confused. Did she only grab my hand because she heard the two counselors approaching? Was it only a show? Did it actually mean nothing?

My heart sank a little. I started to feel like maybe Hannah just felt bad for me, that I was some sort of charity case for her. It wouldn't have been the first time. After some moments of silence, I felt like I had to know one way or another.

"Hannah?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"What was that? I mean, with you holding my hand?"

"I, I guess I was swept up in the moment," she said, with a slight laugh. She looked away, embarrassed.

"Oh," I said, and looked down at my feet.

"What? Is something wrong?" Hannah asked, and I glanced up at her face long enough to see that she was concerned. The light was still in her eyes, but it was starting to fade.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"Tim," she said, dragging out the word in a tone that struck me as sounding somewhat exasperated.

"It's okay, Hannah, I don't want to spoil this moment. I'm enjoying the evening with you."

I thought that she would accuse me of being passive-aggressive. She didn't. She did, however, stare at my face for a long time, as if trying to read it.

"I'm enjoying it, too, Tim. I like being around you."

"Really?" I asked. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, but I knew she wouldn't be able to tell in the moonlight.

"Of course. Otherwise, why would I be here with you?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I worry that maybe you just feel bad for me."

Hannah made a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. "You should have more confidence in yourself," she said. "I'd rather be here than anywhere else right now."

I didn't know why she spoke such kind words to me. I wished that I could believe them, but it just seemed so unlikely that a girl like that could feel anything but pity for me. Part of me wanted to push my luck and see if I could kiss her, but I decided to just let the moment happen and directed my gaze at the sky again. Hannah followed suit and we both stared at the sky without speaking for several minutes.

I don't think either of us wanted to break the silence after that. We knew it was getting late and that we needed to get back to our cabins, but neither of us wanted to say goodnight. At least, I knew I didn't, and somehow, despite my lack of confidence, it appeared to me that Hannah felt the same way. But eventually one of us would have to say something, and it turned out to be her.

"I guess we should probably try to get some sleep while we can. I don't know about you, but I don't get much sleep during the week when there are kids in the cabin. It's like I have to sleep with one ear open."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I said, chuckling, "I have to keep telling the boys to shut up and go to sleep, and it seems like about 1 o'clock before they stop talking or whispering entirely."

"I was pretty much the same way, though, when I was just a camper here. Maybe it's revenge for what I put my counselors through," Hannah said, and we both laughed.

"That's got to be it!" I said. I think I was beaming.

"Anyway... I had a good day today. Thank you," Hannah said, and she grabbed both of my hands.

"I'm glad," I said. "I had a good day, too."

"Listen, I know we don't have much free time tomorrow before the campers get here," she said, "but do you think you'd like to go for a swim around two o'clock, if the weather is nice?"

"Ye-yeah," I said, "That would be great."

"Cool. Are you a good swimmer?"

"I guess so. I haven't drowned yet."

Hannah giggled. "Maybe we can have a race. Winner gets a million dollars."

"You're on. That million is as good as mine," I said.

"Okay, seriously," Hannah said, "I really need to go to bed. And so do you. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nodded, and we stood there smiling for a few more moments before she waved and said "Goodnight." Then she turned and walked in the general direction of her cabin. I watched her as she walked away, until she was swallowed up by the growing night. I felt very happy, and I walked back to my cabin in a bit of a daze.

Even though Hannah and I were to go swimming in the afternoon, we managed to run into each other in the morning. Because it was Sunday and Faith Falls was obviously a Christian camp, they had a sort of worship service in the meeting hall, which was actually a large screened-in pavilion. Hannah usually sat with a group of girls, generally the same group she would eat meals with when she wasn't sitting with me, and I would steal glances at her from my seat towards the back. But on this Sunday, Hannah sat next to me. Her hair was down over her shoulders rather than pulled back, and she looked radiant. We were required to wear somewhat formal clothing to the worship service out of respect for the occasion, so I was wearing a button-down shirt and comfortable but respectable pants, and Hannah was wearing a tan skirt and a white blouse. Her skirt came to just above her knees. Even though I had seen her in shorts pretty much every day of the summer, I was still somewhat struck by how sexy and toned her legs were.

After the worship service, we walked to the cafeteria together and sat across from each other. We talked and laughed so much that it felt as if we were in our own little bubble. Occasionally I noticed the glances of other counselors, but I was too enraptured with being in Hannah's presence to care what they were saying. I felt as if I might be falling in love with this girl, though I had never been in love so I wasn't really sure what it should feel like. But it was certainly an intense feeling, and I was quickly forgetting my awkwardness and finding a confidence in my walk and speech that I had been lacking. As Hannah brought this out of me, she seemed to enjoy being around me even more, to the point where I was almost afraid she'd hurt herself by smiling so much.

It was a little before two o'clock when I arrived at the swimming area in my swimming trunks and flip-flops, carrying a towel. The swimming area at Faith Falls was a shallow, roped-off section of the far end of the lake. It was not close to any of the cabins or other buildings, but instead was tucked away in a corner of the lake by itself. There was a large dock in the middle of the swimming area, and on the dock was a slide. The two sides of the area that touched land were sandy, though I don't know if the sand was a natural feature of that part of the lake or if it had been trucked in from somewhere else. The sand here was smaller and less caustic to the feet than the sand anywhere else around the lake, which tended to be peppered with little jagged rocks and pebbles.

I walked onto the "beach" and lay my towel on the ground. I kicked off my flip-flops and stretched my arms and back while enjoying the feeling of the warm sun on my chest. After a few minutes I saw Hannah approaching me, wearing her shorts and t-shirt. At first I was afraid she was coming to tell me that she wasn't going to swim with me today, but then I noticed that she was carrying her towel. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail again, and she appeared to be smiling shyly as she approached. I just stood there absentmindedly, watching her.

When she was within earshot, she said, "How's the water?"

"I haven't tested it yet," I said, and I walked to the water's edge and dipped my right foot in. "It's pretty warm today."

"Good," she said. She was staring into my eyes. Normally this would have made me self-conscious, but I felt comfortable with her. Hannah dropped her towel next to mine and removed her shirt, exposing the top of her blue bathing suit. This was the first time I had seen her in this kind of outfit, since I had rarely gone swimming that summer and never at the same time as her. I was struck by the size and shape of her breasts beneath the stretchy fabric, and the way it tapered to her trim waist and stomach. She seemed to notice my gaze and smiled shyly again. She hooked her thumbs into the elastic waistband of her shorts and then stopped.




Faith Falls



"You're staring at me," Hannah said softly.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," I said, suddenly feeling ashamed.

Hannah giggled and said, "It's okay. It doesn't make me uncomfortable." Then, while looking into my eyes, she pulled down her shorts. I don't know what expression was on my face then, but it felt like my mouth was hanging open. I remember thinking, My God, she has a beautiful body. Her bathing suit, though a modest one-piece, really showed off her natural curves. When she bent over to place her shorts on her towel, her suit clung confidently to her bottom, and when she faced me again I could see the gentle slope of her pubic mound. I wondered then if she trimmed her hair down there, and immediately blushed. Hannah looked at me, puzzled, and then looked down, perhaps trying to figure out what I had been looking at before I blushed and looked away.

I detected that my cock had begun to harden, and I decided to escape to the water before Hannah noticed. I ran into the water, splashing madly and comically, until it was over my waist. Hannah stood on the beach for a few more seconds, giggling at what I had done, and then did the same. But she ran past me and began to swim out towards the platform in the middle of the swimming area, so I decided to follow her.

Hannah was a fast swimmer, and I was immediately glad we had only been joking about that million-dollar bet. I was an above-average swimmer, but she made it look much more graceful with her even, smooth strokes and strong technique. By comparison, I looked like an albatross attempting to land, and I reached the dock a good fifteen seconds after she did.

"You're a good swimmer," I said, somewhat out of breath. Hannah had her back against one of the posts of the dock, and she was kicking her feet and holding out her arms to stay afloat. At this point the water was about eight feet deep. I was holding onto the dock and trying to grip one of the posts with my feet. The post was slimy with algae, so I decided to do what she was doing and floated there a few feet from her.

"Thanks," she said, "You're not so bad yourself."

"Thanks. Did you swim in high school?"

"No, my school was way too small for that. I guess I just picked things up. I took lessons when I was little."

"Me too," I said, "I think this is maybe the second or third time I've been swimming this summer."

"Why? I love it out here," Hannah said.

"I don't know. Just shy, I guess. I don't really like doing things by myself. It's not as fun."

"Well, you should have asked me to swim with you. I would have," Hannah said. "Don't you love it? It's so quiet here."

"Yeah. It feels so isolated," I said.

Hannah pulled herself up onto the dock and looked around, then came back down into the water. She had a strange look on her face, and she was staring at me. She swam over to me and put her arms around me. I had to grab on to the dock to keep my head above the water, and the sudden weight caused my mind to panic for a split second before calming down and trying to figure out what she was doing. She just held onto me like that for a while. Her wet hair pressed against my cheek, and I breathed it in.

Finally, I dared to speak. "Hannah?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

"You don't?"

"No," Hannah said, "I just... like you." She turned and looked into my face. "I like being here with you."

"I like being here with you, too," I said. I was now vaguely aware that my cock had hardened to its fullest, a reflexive reaction to the feeling of her body pressed against mine, her breasts pushing into my chest.

We floated like this for a minute or two, and then Hannah moved her face closer to mine and kissed me softly on the lips. My first real kiss. It seemed strange that I had already felt a girl's breasts, vagina, and more, but had never kissed a girl. Hannah kissed me three more times, in quick succession, but they never lasted more than a second or two each, and she never opened her mouth. They were sweet kisses. Then she turned her head and lay there with her head pressed against my face again. I was speechless. I didn't know what to think about what had just happened.

Then Hannah adjusted her body so that her legs were wrapped around my waist, and I think she had her feet on the post. My feet were now kicking gently, because I was still holding myself up using the platform. I was suddenly aware that her crotch was pressed against mine, and I knew that she could probably feel my hard cock pressing against her.

To my amazement, Hannah braced herself against the post we were up against and began to move her body up and down against mine, and though we were wearing bathing suits our genitals were rubbing against each other. I immediately knew that she had become aware of the situation in my bathing trunks. I knew there was a word for this: "dry humping," but I don't know if that term applied here because we were in the water. But still, it felt amazing. So amazing, in fact, that it caught my relatively inexperienced body off guard and, to my horror, after about thirty seconds of this I began to ejaculate into my swimming trunks.

"Oh God!" I cried, partly in pleasure and partly in embarrassment.

"What?" Hannah said, sounding as if she had just come crashing out of a trance.

"Oh God, I can't believe I just did that," I said.

"What did you do?"

"I just... I'm sorry... I just came," I said, my voice shaking because my cock was still spasming and shooting little blobs into my trunks.

I expected Hannah to react negatively, but she began to laugh, and she put her hand over her mouth.

"You did?" she said, finally, when she had regained some of her composure.

"Yeah. I'm sorry; I'm so embarrassed!"

"Oh Tim, Tim, don't be," she said, and she pulled herself against me again. "I kind of got carried away there."

"It's okay. I just couldn't help it. It felt really good," I said, feeling a little calmer now.

"I'm sorry, I don't have any experience with this," Hannah said, "I didn't know what I was doing."

"It's okay, it's okay. It was... amazing."

"Really?" she said, and looked up at me again.

"Yeah," I said, and smiled at her.

"Well, then, I'm glad," Hannah said, and held close to me.

Eventually we swam back to shore and dried ourselves off. We didn't say anything for a while, because the mood appeared to be broken and I don't think either of us could find the words. But then we sat down on the sand and I finally dared to speak.

"Did you... like it?" I asked, feeling shy again.

"Yes," she said. "I could feel your... thing... and I liked how it felt against me. I've never felt one before."

"You're a virgin?"

"Yes," Hannah said, and she appeared to be blushing. "Are you?"

"Yes," I said. I debated whether or not I should come clean with her about what happened between Jessica and I earlier that summer. I decided that I should be honest with her.

"Technically," I then added.

"Technically?"

"Yeah. I... I'm not proud of it, but earlier this summer, I..."

"I know," Hannah said, and she put her hand over mine.

"You do?"

"Yeah. Jessica told me one day, maybe two weeks ago. I think she thought it would make me not want to hang out with you anymore," Hannah said.

"What did she tell you?" I asked.

"She said that she touched you there, and you touched her," Hannah said, and she was really starting to blush now.

"I guess that's sort of the gist of it," I said. "I was just desperate, Hannah. I felt terrible about it immediately."

"You did?"

"Yeah. That day that you found me in my cabin, and I had been crying. It's because I felt so ashamed about it. I wish that I had just walked away from her."

"It's okay, Tim," Hannah said. "Things happen."

"I'm glad it didn't scare you away," I said.

"Nah. In fact, I thought that maybe she was lying anyway, until you said something just now. Thank you for being honest with me, Tim. You're a good guy," Hannah said. She was now smiling at me again.

"We should probably start getting ready for the campers to arrive," I said after several moments of silence. I didn't want to leave, though. I wanted to sit there talking with her for hours.

"Yeah, you're right. It sucks that we won't see each other much this week," she said, and her face had grown a little sad. I couldn't believe that she, or any girl, for that matter, could feel anything for me.

"And there are only a few weeks left," I said.

"Yeah. I just wish..." Hannah trailed off suddenly, and closed her mouth and remained silent.

"Yeah," I said, feeling as if I understood.

The next week was a long and difficult one, and there was news of a big storm headed for us that would hit over the weekend and into the beginning of the following week. Because of that, the camp administration elected to cancel the following week's activities and give us the option of going home for the week or to stay and help prepare the camp's buildings and equipment for the storm. About half of the counselors were planning to go home following the departure of the current group of campers, but Hannah and I had both decided to stay and wait things out at the camp. When Friday evening arrived, the campers and a great number of counselors and staff departed, and Faith Falls became a bit of a ghost town. Some of us helped secure the canoes and other equipment in sheds and cabins around the camp, basically trying to find any suitable spot we could.

There were a number of old cabins around that were not being used for anything, so these became storage sheds. Some had wooden shutters while others just had screens. I spent a lot of Friday evening carrying equipment around and placing it in these buildings. One of the old, unused cabins, which was in a remote part of the camp off of a hiking trail, had wooden shutters, and I opened it to reveal an old mattress inside and an oil lamp. I realized that this cabin was probably being used as a rendezvous area for various counselor hook ups, and I decided to leave it undisturbed.

I slept late Saturday morning, so I missed breakfast. I took a shower and cleaned up my cabin, then went to lunch and sat with Hannah. I had barely seen her all week, and my heart felt overjoyed to see her. I wasn't sure how she would feel about what we had done in the swimming area now that some time had passed, but she seemed very happy to see me and we acted as if nothing had happened.

The sky was getting overcast, and the wind was starting to pick up, but it was still warm and humid. Since there were no activities planned for that day, or indeed the following several days, I asked Hannah at lunch if she wanted to take a long hike around the camp that afternoon.

"Sure thing," she said. She placed one of her bare feet --she had been wearing flip-flops, but she must have kicked them off of her feet after she sat down for lunch-- on top of mine, and smiled sweetly. I reasoned that what had happened the previous Sunday was just a one-time experience, something that just sort of "happened," and I had no expectations that anything else like it would happen. But I was okay with that. No one could ever take that experience away from me, and Hannah would likely always remember it, too.

A half hour after lunch, I was sitting on the steps to Hannah's cabin. She opened the screen door and pretended to kick me in the butt, to which I shouted "Hey!" in mock anger. She giggled, and I felt that there was something strange about how she looked at me. My heart stirred a bit, but I didn't know what it meant. Hannah was wearing a tight pair of shorts that caused me to take notice immediately. She hadn't been wearing these shorts at lunch. I was certain of this because I knew I would have noticed if she had.

We hadn't talked about what hiking path we would take, but somehow, in unspoken fashion, we seemed to be headed towards the longest route, the one that ran through the most remote and unused parts of the camp. I hadn't taken this path yet this summer, though I had been on it a few times as a camper.

A number of campers avoided this hiking path because it passed by the remnants of a row of decrepit cabins that hadn't been used in years, and the grass and vegetation around them had grown to such a degree that it was like coming across a long-abandoned village in the jungle. Over the years, a camp legend had been developed among campers and counselors that these cabins had been the sight of a terrible tragedy and that they were now haunted by the spirit of Tommy Stumps. Tommy Stumps, the legend said, was a young camper who had lost both of his arms in a tug-of-war contest gone wrong. He allegedly bled to death in the midst of these cabins and his spirit lingered on, forever looking for his arms. Tommy's ghost was said to wail incessantly on moon-filled nights, and whenever a coyote howled in the distance --a common occurrence-- campers would have to repeat to themselves, "Tommy Stumps, I don't have them," or risk encountering his armless ghost.

As a counselor, I learned that these cabins had been used in a leadership training retreat for college-aged men, and that when the camp discontinued that program they had no further use for the cabins. The unused buildings just sat there until nature reclaimed the area. I was told there was a similar set of abandoned cabins on the other side of the lake --the side of the lake Hannah and I were now on-- but none of the other counselors and staff seemed to know where they were, and the hiking trail did not come within sight of them. I also knew, though I had suspected for many years, that Tommy Stumps never existed and there had never been a camper who died at Faith Falls. Still, the memories I had of passing by those cabins caused the hair on my neck to stand up, and I was determined that, once we reached them, I would walk a little faster just to get out of their presence all the quicker.

Hannah and I were still far from those cabins, but we talked about the legend of Tommy Stumps and laughed until tears were in our eyes.

"I'm not sure when I first heard that story," I said, "I think it might have been my counselor who told me, maybe the first year I was here."

"Really? I didn't think counselors were allowed to tell that story," Hannah said, giggling but with a slightly incredulous expression.

"I'm starting to remember it now. We were all in the cabin, in our beds, and we heard that howling noise and we were all scared. I mean, I had my head under the covers and everything. Those coyotes... that sound they make, it's a really frightening sound."

"I know," Hannah said, "I hear it too, sometimes. It always reminds me of a woman screaming or something. Like a banshee."

"Yeah," I said. "Anyway, I hear one of the kids saying under his breath, 'Tommy Stumps, I don't have them,' and I was freaking out. It was like an occult chant or something. I asked what he was saying, and our counselor was like, 'Haven't you ever heard the story of Tommy Stumps?' And that's when he told us about it. I didn't sleep that night, I swear. I was just lying awake, listening. I don't think I slept more than a few hours each night that entire week."

"I never heard about the chant," Hannah said, "I guess the girls figured we were safe because the cabins are on your side of the lake."

"Yeah, but you have your own creepy cabins somewhere in the woods out here. Nobody seems to know where they are, though. I don't know why they're not near the trail."

"Maybe we should look for them," Hannah said, and she gave me a slightly mischievous smirk.

"Yeah right," I said, "Look at the clouds. If we got lost out here and it started raining, where would we go?"

"I don't know," Hannah said, then thought for a moment, "Wouldn't it be really creepy if we got lost and it started raining, so we started running, trying to find shelter, and then we came across those cabins, all overgrown and doors hanging off the hinges?"

I shuddered. "That would be awful. I think I'd rather be out in the rain than step inside one of those cabins."

"Why, are you superstitious?" Hannah laughed.

"No, but it's like it's ingrained in me to be afraid of that whole Tommy Stumps story. Every time I think about those cabins it makes my skin crawl. I'm surprised I haven't had nightmares about it."

To be honest, I had. A few years ago, in the middle of winter. But I wasn't about to tell anyone about it.

"Is that where you and Jessica went?" Hannah asked, laughing, "Because maybe that's why you're afraid of it."

"No, but I might have to add that to my list of things to be afraid of," I said, starting to feel a little uncomfortable. We walked on in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have joked about that," Hannah said.

"It's all right. I'm not proud of it, but it happened."

"So what exactly did you do?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know," Hannah said, "I guess I'm just curious."

"I was... desperate, I guess. Unhappy. I think it's hard to understand if you're not a guy, but she... she wanted me to do it. She practically forced me. I was weak."

"So what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"What did she do to you? What did you do to her?" Hannah asked.

"Didn't Jessica tell you?"

"She was vague."

"Oh," I said. Then I told her about everything Jessica and I had done. I hadn't meant to go into much detail, but she prodded me and I let it all out. I finished the story by telling her about my becoming nauseous in the woods and vomiting.

At that, Hannah burst out laughing. I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Oh my God, poor Tim!" she said, "I'm sorry for laughing!"

"No, it's okay. I'm glad I can at least get it off my chest."

After she had recovered, she stared at the ground for a little while. We were both still standing there on the hiking trail.

Hannah and I had not spoken of what happened the previous Sunday since that day, but I had the impression that, in that moment, she was thinking about what we had done. I didn't know how to approach the subject, so I just stood and stared at her. When she turned to look at me, I made a silly face and she began to giggle.

"Tim, you goofball! I was going to bring up a serious subject and you made me laugh!" Hannah was doing her best to sound offended, but there was no conviction in her voice.

"What subject?"

"Umm..." Hannah said, and then gnawed on her thumbnail for a few seconds.

"Is it about last Sunday?"

"Yeah," she said. "I just... I never intended for that to happen."

"Oh."

"No, no, I don't mean it like that," she said, and she grabbed my hand again. "It's just that, my plan has always been to save myself for marriage. But..." As she trailed off, I noticed her face turning red. I didn't say anything in response. I didn't want to push her.

Hannah looked around us, as if expecting someone to be hiding in the bushes, listening to us. Finding no one, she continued: "It's just that, once we were like that, holding each other, I could... feel you against me. And something just took over. It was all me."

"Well, I could have stopped you if I had wanted to," I said, "but I didn't want to."

"I didn't want you to, either. I just don't want you to think less of me. I don't want you to think I'm someone like Jessica."

"Like Jessica?" I said, incredulous. "No, no, you're nothing like Jessica. Hannah, I will never think that about you, no matter what. You will always be special to me, and I'll always..." Now it was my turn to trail off.

"What?"

"Love you. I will always love you." I had never told a girl, at least someone other than my mother, that I loved her. Even though in high school there were plenty of girls I thought, at one point or another, I was "in love with," I had never spoken those words to any of them. I tried not to visibly cringe after saying those words, but I wasn't sure how Hannah would react so I was trying to steel myself for the worst.




Faith Falls



Hannah smiled, leaned in, and kissed me softly on the mouth. "I will always love you too, Tim," she whispered. There was a sweetness in her whisper, but also something new. Something I'd never detected from a girl before, at least not towards me.

When she pulled her face away, I looked into her eyes and I knew I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything or anyone before. But there was a vague wave of sadness immediately following that, as I reminded myself that she was saving herself. Or, wait, that's not exactly what she said. She said she had been planning to save herself for marriage. But had that plan changed? I immediately shook the thought out of my head. Of course not, Tim. Even if she were to break that promise to herself, why would she waste it on you? And do you want to be the one to cause her regret and grief later?

We walked on, and the subjects of our conversation became lighter, more trivial. The heaviness, the tension that had been there as we kissed slowly passed, and after a while I couldn't entirely be sure it had even existed in the first place. We kept an eye out for signs of a forgotten trail that might lead to the mythical abandoned girls' camp, and my heart beat a little faster with a mix of adventure and dread to think that we might find them.

After a while, Hannah stopped and began to stare off to the right. I didn't notice at first, so when I turned to look at her I found that she was standing about twenty feet behind me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. Hannah reached out and pointed towards the woods. I walked back to her and tried to follow where she was pointing.

"Does that look like a trail?" Hannah said, still pointing. Her face had taken on a new intensity as she scanned the brush for signs of an old path.

At first I thought she was imagining things, but as I stood and looked, I started to become convinced that there had once been a path here.

"Yeah, it kinda does," I said, and I noticed that there was a certain tone of dread in my voice.

Hannah turned to me with a twinkle in her eye. "Why don't we check it out?"

"Um, are you sure? What if we get lost?"

"Then we'll make a home in the woods with sticks and leaves, and we'll live off the land," Hannah said jokingly. "And you'll go out hunting and I'll cook what you catch, and we'll repopulate the earth."

"Okay, Miss Silly, we're not talking about a nuclear apocalypse here. We're talking about getting lost in the woods."

"Well, then we can repopulate the woods," Hannah said, grabbing my hand. She took a step in the direction of the maybe-trail, and I reluctantly took a step too. Then we walked. The brush was thick, all right. After a few minutes I already had a few scratches on my arms from getting whacked with branches and who knows what else.

I don't know how long we walked, or how far. As we walked further into the woods, I became less and less convinced that we were on any sort of trail, abandoned or otherwise. I was starting to think we were in danger of getting completely lost in the thousands of acres of Faith Falls Christian Camp. I was impressed with how large the grounds of the camp was, if we were even still on the property of the camp. It was starting to feel more and more remote, like we had somehow stumbled back in time, to the days before mankind had ever set foot here.

This is ridiculous, of course, but this is coming from a guy from the suburbs who had no sense of direction and no real experience with being in the deep forest.

If I had been by myself, I would have probably begun panicking, but having Hannah with me gave me a great degree of comfort. Still, when I looked behind us, I could no longer see any sign of a trail and had no idea where we had come from. Retracing our steps would not be easy.

"I don't think the cabins would be this far out in the woods. I mean, the guys' cabins are only like fifty feet from the trail," I said. I was hoping that she couldn't hear the shakiness in my voice.

"I'm starting to think you're right. And we've got another problem," Hannah said.

"What's that?"

"Did you notice the lighting is changing? The sky is getting darker. Not night-time dark. Storm dark."

"Oh," I said. I had noticed, but I had attributed it to the thick woods around us. But when I looked up at the sky, I could see that it had turned a foreboding shade of gray.

"The leaves are rustling, too. See how they're inside-out?" I said. Hannah nodded and bit her lip. If we didn't move quickly, we were likely to get caught in a downpour.

Instead of trying to retrace our steps, we simply began charging through the woods in the general direction of where we had come. I walked ahead of Hannah, taking the brunt of the scratches and trying to hold the branches out of the way so that she would not be harmed. Although we were both a little panicked, we managed to smile at each other frequently. The rustling of the leaves grew louder, the sky darker, and the wind began to howl through the forest. We walked faster. We began to abandon all sense of dignity and personal safety as we quickly made our way through the woods. Every small clearing was a blessing, because it was one more patch of ground we could get through without being accosted by bushes and what could possibly be poison ivy plants.

Eventually, despite our concern, we reached the main trail, a little worn out and scratched up but relatively unharmed.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your cabin?" I asked, feeling a little disappointed that our walk may be cut short.

"No. I think the storm is coming from that direction. Let's keep moving forward," Hannah said, and I immediately nodded my head.

As we walked, I imagined a wall of rain sneaking up behind us, and as it turned out I wasn't too far off. One minute we were dry and oblivious, and the next minute it was pouring.

Hannah laughed, grabbed my hand, and shouted, "Run! Run for your lives!"

We ran together in the heavy rain, instantly soaking wet and cold but feeling alive and free. In those moments I felt that my decision to become a counselor was one of the best decisions I had ever made, because it brought me to this moment, running through a downpour with beautiful Hannah Rose shrieking beside me. She acted like a child, sometimes stopping to twirl or dance a few steps in the rain. Sometimes she would grab onto me and I would lift her up and spin around. She had pulled her hair out of a ponytail and let it fall into her face, and I noticed the way it fell into her smiling eyes each time she grabbed me and we faced each other. She was radiating beauty even in the storm.

We were having fun, yes, but we were also freezing cold. As we ran down the trail, I noticed the silhouette of a cabin to our right. After convincing myself it wasn't one of the creepy abandoned cabins, I grabbed Hannah by the hip and guided her towards it. We ran faster now, and I hoped that the cabin wasn't locked. Fortunately it wasn't, and the door easily, and creakily, opened.

It was the cabin I had come across the day before, the one with the mattress and the oil lamp inside. Hannah held the door open while I checked the oil lamp. Fortunately, there was oil inside, and a dry book of matches next to it. I lit the lamp and Hannah closed the door behind us. The rain fell hard against the corrugated steel roof, but still it felt peaceful in the dry cabin. Musty, probably cobweb-y, but peaceful. We stood there for a few minutes, shivering. I felt like I was covered from head to toe in goosebumps. I wondered how we would ever get warm. Then I remembered hearing that, to avoid hypothermia, you need to take off your wet clothes. I wasn't sure how Hannah would feel about that, but I didn't know how long we would be in here while the storm passed through, and we needed to do something.

"Hannah, I don't know how to tell you this..." I said.

"Yeah?" she said, her teeth chattering slightly.

"We might need to take our wet clothes off to warm up."

Hannah giggled. "Seriously?" she said.

"Seriously. I'm not just saying this to get you to take your clothes off."

"Well, okay," Hannah said, and just stood there for a few seconds. "Should we turn away from each other?"

"Um, okay," I said, and I turned around, removed my shirt and my shorts, and realized that my briefs were soaking as well.

"Can I turn around now?" I asked. There was no response for a few seconds, then I heard Hannah say, shyly, "O-okay."

I turned around and Hannah was standing there in her underwear, her wet hair still in her face. She was wearing a white bra and modest white, cotton panties. Her underwear was soaked, as mine was, and I could tell because I could see a patch of dark between her legs. That's her pubic hair, I thought, and, despite the cold, I immediately had an erection. I lowered my hands to try to cover it, but Hannah had already noticed.

I wasn't sure how she would act, so I just stood there, but to my surprise she stepped towards me. She reached behind her back and unhooked her bra, and the wet material fell from her breasts. They were perfect. Perky, firm, and with medium sized pink areolas. Her nipples, I could see, were hard with the cold and maybe something else.

I felt frozen in place, but Hannah stepped towards me. At first she shyly covered her breasts with her arms, but after biting her lip and pausing, she lowered her arms and even stuck out her chest a little.

"You're staring," she said, almost in a whisper.

"I am," I said, and she giggled.

"You're probably the first person to see my boobs, at least as long as I've had them."

"Really?" I said, sort of in a daze.

"Of course. I've never really done anything with anyone before. Are they... okay?"

"Y-yes," I said, "They're beautiful. You're beautiful."

"You are so sweet to me, Tim," Hannah said, and, for the first time, I think, I saw a look that I could not interpret as pity, no matter how hard I tried. She held genuine affection for me, maybe even love. For that moment, she was mine.

Hannah stepped towards me again, and now her eyes were looking at my underwear. I was no longer trying to hide my erection from her gaze. She was now only two feet away from me, almost close enough to reach out and touch it if she wanted. But I was still not sure what she wanted. My legs felt weak. My desire for her was stronger than any I had ever felt, and my angst-ridden teenage brain was no longer trying to deflate my confidence. I felt free to be myself, to cast aside my insecurities, reach out, and take Hannah Rose as my own.

I grabbed her and held her against me. Her cold breasts poked at my skin and almost instantly began to warm up. As I ran my hands over Hannah's arms and back, I could initially feel goosebumps all over --whether from the cold or nervousness-- but I could feel her relax against me, and the goosebumps began to fade. Hannah's hands, which were at first on my lower back, began to travel down to my underwear. She grabbed my backside and pulled me closer to her, so that my erect cock pushed against her groin. At that, she sighed and I felt her body tense up again. She was definitely nervous, but I detected arousal as well.

We relaxed our hold on each other and I cupped her left breast with my right hand. Hannah began to breathe heavily on my ear and neck as I gently stroked her nipple with my thumb.

"Tim," she moaned, "I want you to suck on it." I was only too happy to oblige her, and I lowered my face and took her nipple into my mouth. Her body tensed up at my warm mouth and tongue on her skin, but then she relaxed again. I could feel her breath against the back of my neck as I explored her breast. I kissed and licked every inch of it, tracing the gentle slope with my tongue and then focusing again on her nipple. Then I did the same with her right breast. Hannah then grabbed me and pulled me up towards her face, and we kissed. I felt her tongue enter my mouth and greeted hers with my own, and my hands stroked her back. I could almost feel her melting into my arms. Her body was no longer tensing up at all.

As we kissed, I became aware of her right hand sliding down my stomach. Soon it was over my underwear, and I felt her fingers gently glide over my cock. She didn't seem to like the wetness of the material, though, because she quickly began to tug at the waistband. Her other hand reached down to help, and she began to pull them down, exposing my cock. Hannah stopped kissing me and looked down, and she seemed to gasp slightly as she saw my penis for the first time. Maybe it was the first one she ever saw. I don't know for sure.

Hannah may not have had experience, but she seemed to know just how to handle my cock. She cupped my testicles with one hand, and with the other stroked and kneaded the shaft. Unlike Jessica, she didn't apply too much pressure, but just enough for it to feel incredibly good. I was dimly aware of a concern that, if she did it too much, I might end up ejaculating prematurely again.

As she played with my cock, I concentrated on removing my underwear entirely. Then, as they fell on the cabin floor, I kicked them off and placed a hand on Hannah's stomach. It was so flat and firm that it initially surprised me. She was so soft and feminine that I had somehow forgotten that she was in such good shape. My hands didn't linger too long on her stomach, however, and I slid my fingers into the waistband of her white cotton panties. Hannah did not tense up when I did this.

"Are you okay with this?" I asked. Hannah's response was to nod her head and sigh. I became aware that she was trembling a little, so I asked, "Do you want to lie down?"

"Okay," she said, and together we lay down on the mattress in the corner. I wasn't sure how filthy or musty the mattress was, but in this moment it didn't matter much.

I put my hand in her waistband again, this time feeling wet pubic hair on the tips of my fingers. At first, the wetness was somewhat cold, but when my fingers traveled lower, the wetness immediately became warm. Her slit was moist with her own juices, and as my fingers gently walked over her labia, she seemed to get even wetter.

As I touched her, Hannah instinctively spread her legs, and one of my fingers slid into her warm vagina. Hannah's breathing became heavier, and her hand searched for and quickly found my cock, which was pushed up against her waist. For a few minutes we masturbated each other, my finger soon being joined by a second, and her hand stroking my cock in a similar rhythm to my fingering her.

Hannah gradually spread her legs wider as I touched her, and soon I caught a glimpse of the edge of her pubic hair peeking out from behind the material. I leaned closer to her and pulled her panties to the side, exposing the glistening pale pink of her vagina, surrounded by dark brown pubic hair that was well kept but of a natural thickness. An appetizing scent radiated off of her warm feminine parts. I noticed goosebumps on her legs, so I pulled her wet panties off and massaged her thighs. She was spreading her legs even wider now, and her moist vagina was open and inviting.

I lowered my face and brought it to her pussy, breathing in her scent but trying to look confident and nonchalant about it. Hannah didn't seem to be paying attention, because her eyes were squeezed shut and she was breathing deeply. I brought my mouth to her and my tongue slid into her vagina. My taste buds were shocked by the saltiness and acidity of her juices, but they quickly became accustomed to it and I soon realized that she tasted wonderful. My tongue made its way deeper into her vagina while I sucked on her labia, and I felt her wiry but soft pubic hair tickling my nose and cheeks. Hannah was thrusting her pelvis gently into my face, and she began to run her fingers through my hair as I consumed her.

When I found her clitoris, she reacted even more strongly. I didn't have any knowledge of the clitoris, but when she moaned as my tongue rolled over it I realized it was something I should focus my attention on. I sucked on it gently, tenderly. Hannah's moaning became louder, and after a few minutes of this, she began to shudder, and a small stream of hot liquid hit me in the face. At first, I was horrified because I thought I had accidentally made her pee, but I quickly realized that it wasn't pee but more of her juices. Hannah was gasping into her hands now, and she sat up, her body still trembling.

I thought that maybe I had done something wrong, but then she leaned over me, took hold of my still-hard cock, and placed it inside her mouth. At first she didn't seem to know what to do, as I merely felt suction on the first two inches or so of my penis. But soon she began to take more and more of it into her mouth, and I felt her tongue sliding over the head. I reached under her and fondled her left breast while she sucked on me, and when I began playing with her nipple, she started to get even more into what she was doing. For the second time, I was afraid I might ejaculate before I was ready, so I stopped her just before I reached the limit.

"What's wrong?" Hannah said, her voice lower, sultry, seductive.

"Nothing. I just almost came inside your mouth."

"Oh. Does it feel good?"

"Yes, amazing," I said, and she smiled shyly.

Hannah kept eye contact with me as she leaned back onto the mattress and spread her legs again. I crawled on top of her and we kissed again. My cock slid into her about halfway, and she gasped. I stopped and looked into her face, trying to read her expression. I could see surprise and a little discomfort in her face.

"Is that too much?" I asked, suddenly feeling like I had violated her.

"No, no," she said, taking short breaths between the words, "It's just... you're kind of big."

"Do you want me to pull out?"

"No, just give me a minute. Ah... take it slowly," Hannah said, her eyes looking straight up, not at me. I pulled out until just the tip was still inside her, and then eased it in slowly. Then out, then in. Each time I got a little deeper. She was very tight, and I was afraid I was hurting her, but then she began to run her fingers up and down my back and I knew she was okay. Still, I took my time, trying to make sense of the feeling of her vagina around my shaft. I could feel what seemed like ridges inside her, sliding over my cock as I pushed in and pulled out of Hannah's pussy.

After a while, I was completely inside her, and I stopped and kissed her on the lips.

"Is this okay?" I asked, noticing that she was still taking quick, shallow breaths.

"Y-yes, Tim, it's fine," Hannah said, smiling uneasily at me. Her eyes were shining in the dim light of the oil lamp, and as she noticed me staring at her, she giggled slightly.

"You are so beautiful, Hannah," I said.

"Thank you," she said sweetly. "You're very handsome. I'm happy to be with you."

"Me too," I said, and I kissed her again, and I pulled out and pushed back in. She moaned into my mouth, and our tongues found each other as we began to move together. My cock slid effortlessly in and out of her vagina, which was well lubricated and relaxed. Many thoughts were swirling around in my head. I couldn't believe this was happening; I couldn't believe I was making love to Hannah Rose, the most beautiful girl I had ever met up until this point. She seemed impossibly beautiful, almost otherworldly, perfect. A few months ago I could barely bring myself to look her in the face, and now we were face to face, me on top of her, my cock completely inside her.

Our bodies moved in perfect rhythm like this for a few minutes. We stared into each other's eyes and, every few seconds, one of us would lean in to kiss the other. At one point she held me close to her and the feeling of her hot breath on my neck brought the goosebumps back briefly. Neither of us spoke for a while, but I could detect Hannah's breathing growing heavier and faster. Once in a while she let out a soft moan. Soon I knew I was close to climax.