0 comments/ 27773 views/ 0 favorites Exploring Cassy By: CantSayNo "I am a victim of my time A product of my age There is no truth in my obsession I was a holy man, but now With all my trials behind me I am weak in my conviction Even though I walk to try and get away Knowing that someday I'll finally have to face The fear that will come From knowing that the one thing I had left was you, And now you're gone..." ~"Nothing at All" ~ Santana Feat. Musiq ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Even now, sitting alone in my jail cell, I look back on events past with a somewhat wry smile. What brought me here you ask? Pleasures of the flesh my son...pleasures of the flesh. Glancing out the window of the sacristy while donning my priestly garb that chilly October day, I couldn't help but notice the graceful swagger of a beautiful blonde walking down the aisle of the church away from me. And my oh my, what an ass on that, I thought, then scorned myself for such a slight. As I walked down the aisle a bit later to take my place on the alter, my head bobbed slightly to my right to catch a glance of the vixen who had caught my eye earlier. Big brown eyes and lips to die for were icing on the cake of her heart shaped elfin face. Her eyes met mine for a second, and I turned my head. Lord help me. As the mass dragged on, I caught myself catching furtive glances at the young woman. She was very attractive, and the more I thought of it, I remembered her name...Cassy, short for Cassandra. I remember the younger children at our parochial school calling her that when she would stop by to read to the aspiring heathens. Scornful toward the church, I was. Driven by passion in many aspects of my life, also I was. Something was drawing my eyes continually back to her, to the graceful arch of her long, graceful neck, to the swell of her breasts under the tan fabric threatening to break at any moment. I caught myself, and said the final blessing. Later that night, alone in the church office, I looked through the school's computerized filing system. I typed in Cassandra...for any matches. The computer whirled for a minute, then up popped a box on my screen. "1 match has been found for your query." I smiled anxiously. The file was quite a read. Having noted that Cassandra Willingham had attended the church's small parochial grade school, and had graduated the eighth year with honors, earning herself a Thomas Aquinas medal for Scholarship, Volunteering and Service. Service to whom? I thought. Sweat rolling down my back awakened me late that night, after analyzing my surroundings, I realized my fist was pumping urgently on my ever stiffening member. Quite a predicament I found myself in. Should I continue and be a sinner? Or not? Not much of a choice there. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine young Cassy naked, walking bare up the aisle of the church, with my arms extended towards her. Her pubic hair, I imagined, was as blonde as the hair on her head, and neatly trimmed into a triangle like shape. Her thighs rubbed slightly as she walked towards me, and then... "Damnit" I said aloud in the solitude of my room. I had bust my load, after a mere 5 minutes. I smiled myself back to sleep, thinking of the things I would do to young Cassy should I ever gain the chance. The following day I was scheduled to speak to a high school class about entering the vocations. I hardly thought myself the proper speaker for such a topic, considering my recent distaste towards the vow of celibacy in which, earlier in my priesthood, I had held so valuably. But, alas, the teacher was an old acquaintance of my family, and he thought I could connect better with the pupils considering I was quite close to their age. At the time I was only a young man, a lively 27. As I walked into Freddy Chaucer's classroom later that day, I looked at all the kids in their Catholic school tartan garb and reminisced of my glory days. They seemed so far gone. "Why hello Father," Freddy called out to me, as I was still standing awkwardly on the threshold of the doorway. I made my way over to his desk, and he proceeded to usher me to the front again. I was nervous to say the least, until my roaming eyes landed on Cassandra seated in the front row of the class, with her long silky smooth legs crossed towards me. "Well I guess I'm here to talk to you about being priests and nuns eh?" I said jokingly. That elicited a few giggles from the group of girls huddled closely together in the back around each other. I started off with the scriptural aspect of the priesthood, and why God calls us to be his disciples, then led into a much deeper lecture at length. When I was finished, I paused. "Does anyone have any questions?" I asked, quite anxiously, knowing full on what high school aged kids were capable of. A hand raised, and then a few more. "Yes, you back there." I pointed to a young man who on first glance appeared to be a very large lineman type on the football team. "If I become a priest, can I still have sex?" He asked me, very straight faced. The class howled. "Well, no, you can't son, part of holy orders is taking a vow of celibacy, as part of a commitment to the church." I said, very patiently. "Well that sucks." He replied. I laughed. "Then maybe it's not for you," I said. "any more questions?" Cassy raised her hand. "Yes?" I asked, looking at her luscious honey toned chest. Her voice came out in a smooth, husky tone. "Do nuns and priests work together?" She asked, rather innocently. I didn't know how to take that. Yes, I felt a stirring in my groin, but what if she did not mean it THAT way? "Well, yes," I answered calmly, bending slightly at the waist to hide the bulge in my black trousers. "In a roundabout way." She smiled softly at this, and then uncrossed her legs. She then gave me a view of what could only be described as angelic. As she slid down into the seat, and uncrossed her legs like a common whore, she allowed me a view up her skirt, into which, when I peered, I viewed a little strip of ivory, satin I would say, as my best guess. The rest of the class went along uneventfully, but as I was leaving, I could feel Cassy's eyes on me. I went back to the rectory and lie on my bed thinking of my sexual inexperience. I mean, yes, I know all about the rutting part, and where everything goes, but was it so much about sex as it was about making love TO a person? Is there...and was there a difference? Even in my circumstances? Another thought occurred to me then. I had to make absolutely sure that she felt the same as I...or I could lose on both ends...lose an experience which had not even begun yet, and lose all semblance of a life I had...the priesthood. ~ More soon to come... Exploring Cassy Ch. 02 “You are a beautiful distraction. See, I kept you locked away inside And let misery provide And now, I am changed.” ~Santana Feat. Musiq ~ Nothing At All ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The thought of young Cassy toyed with my mind over the next week. I wondered from time to time when I’d see her again. As I was a virgin when I entered the priesthood, I had no clue whatsoever as to what to do to attract a woman. And frankly I was frightened at the effect this young girl was having on me. With all honesty, I don’t find myself a bad looking guy. I’m about 6’3’’, 195 lbs, with closely cropped dark brown curly hair. I had had a brief stint in the royal navy before entering seminary, so I still retained my soldier figure. But, thinking that I was attractive wasn’t enough. I prayed to God that following night that he would give me some guidance as to why I was being troubled with this girl. That following Sunday, at noon mass, my answer came to me. Cassy strode up the center aisle toward the sacristy, placed a hand on the doorframe and poked her head in. “Father Moore?” I heard her sweet voice chime out. “Yes, my child?” I answered her, as I turned to face her, still putting my robes on. “I was just wondering when confession was this week.” She asked, with innocence in her voice. The crotch of my pants began to pinch on the beginnings of my erection. I turned away from her and slipped a hand under my robe to adjust myself. “I believe they are directly after mass Cassy, why?” I asked, curious as to why this angelic girl was in need of repentance. “I need to make a confession, but Monsignor Paul frightens me.” She giggled slightly. Monsignor Paul was the other priest in our parish, who at 6’5’’, 300 lbs, intimidated many. I laughed. “You may come to me my dear, I’ll be in confessional number 1 if you need me.” I smiled at her, and she returned the favor. As she walked away, I watched her leave. My oh my, she has some damn good genes. Every time I glanced at her during mass, she was looking at me. These feelings I was having were knocking me sideways. I kept thinking that they’d go away, but they would not. Mass drug on and on, and eventually the bells tolled at one. I went back to the sacristy quickly to put on my stole and go into the confessional. About 3 minutes later, I heard someone enter the confessional next to me. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” It was Cassy. “Proceed” I said, trying to be businesslike. “Father, I don’t know what to do. There has been a problem plaguing me for quite some time, and even though I have been to confession before, I didn’t have the heart to talk about it.” She said unsteadily. She sounded upset I thought, and any thought of lust I had turned to concern. “You can tell me about it Cassy, you know I can’t tell anyone, and I wouldn’t even if I could.” I said, trying to reassure her. “Well, when I was a freshman in High School, my friends and I went out to the movies one night in downtown London, and as my friends went into the theatre, someone grabbed me from behind and forced me into a little recess in a separate hall.” She was stumbling over her words, as if this was a very touchy subject for her. “This person, this man, started trying to kiss me furiously. I tried my damnedest to fight him off, but he was much larger and stronger than I.” She started to sniffle. “Then....” Her voice trailed off. I opened the curtain that was separating us, and as she looked at me, with mascara running down her cheeks, she reached for me, and I for her. I held her against my chest, feeling her wracking sobs shaking her body. “He raped me father. I have never told anyone this before, I didn’t even call the police because I was afraid it was my fault.” She said, crying still. “How could it possibly be your fault Cassy?” I asked, confused. “It was how I was dressed, I thought I brought it on, with the way I was dressed.” “What do you mean Cassy?” “I was dressed rather promiscuously.” “Cassy, you need to know that what happened was NOT your fault, at all. Why God lets these people do these things is beyond me, but do not cry for yourself, cry for him.” She sat there a little while longer, her heaving breasts rubbing against my chest and arm. I genuinely wanted to take the girl away from all her pain, somewhere very far away. Suddenly, she got up to leave. “I’m sorry I took up so much of your time father.” She said, wiping a tear off her nose. “It is no bother Cassandra, any time you need to talk, you know where my office is.” I said, trying to reassure this broken down figure before me. As she walked away, I tried to understand how a girl like Cassy, whom had everything going for her, could hide such a terrible thing under such a cool exterior. She had fooled me. Exploring Cassy Ch. 03 “I wanna be your lake, for you babe And any problems that you have, I wanna wash them away. I wanna be your sky, so blue and high. And every time you think of me, I wanna blow your mind. I wanna be your air, so sweet and fair So when you feel that you can’t breathe, I’ll be there. I wanna be your answer, all the time. When you see how I put your life before mine with no question. When all the love feels gone, and you can’t carry on Don’t worry girl, I’ma take it from here Just as sure as the sun is shining, every morning every time, Don’t worry girl, I’ma take it from here.” ~Justin Timberlake ~ Take it From Here I sat alone in my study that night looking out the window at the falling rain. I genuinely was troubled by what young Cassandra had told me earlier, and I didn’t have the slightest idea what to do about it, or about her. I couldn’t quite describe how the feelings inside of me had turned from lust, to love. I went to bed shortly thereafter, and prayed for Cassy...that someone would come along and pull her out of her misery, and that that person could be me. The following morning, I was sitting in the church office filling out grant applications when I heard a faint rapping on my door. As I looked up, my eyes traced over a set of long, lithe legs, which then melted into a tiny waist and large, full breasts. It was Cassy. I stood up, and moved around the desk, and hugged her. “What an unexpected surprise, hello Cassy.” “Well Father Patrick, I wanted to talk to you some more, I found it very helpful getting all those feelings out in the open last night.” “Sure Cassy, hold on a sec.” I moved around her, and dug the confessional sign out of my desk and hung it on the door. I closed the door and leaned up against it. “Father, I just think that the whole reason I was so devastated by the whole thing was the fact that I was a virgin when the man raped me. It crossed my mind more than once that the evil man had taken my innocence, along with much more.” She closed her eyes. “When word got around school, none of the guys would even look at me, so much as talk to me. What I needed at the time was someone who, I don’t know, would dash out of the sky and help me, but they all just looked at me as damaged goods.” I rubbed my forehead. “Cassy, you are NOT damaged goods. I know the reason why guys are so awkward toward you...they don’t know what to say. What could a 17 or 18 year old boy possibly say to a girl like you who has been so traumatized? I’m just thinking that maybe once you go away to college, get away from this town, you’ll be fine. No one will know your story. You can start anew.” “I never thought about it that way Father. I just, I just know I’ll have problems like I did this summer.” I perked my head up. “Something else happened?” “Well, nothing happened actually, that’s the whole point. My sister Tori set me up with one of her male friends, and after the date, he took me home, and the thought of making love crossed my mind, I thought maybe it would take away the pain or something, I don’t know, but as soon as he started to touch me, I freaked out, and made him leave. I don’t want that to happen when I do decide to have sex, do you understand?” “It’s understandable that you’d be traumatized the first time Cassy, but maybe you just need to find a man whom you really trust wouldn’t hurt you, and that might involve a relationship beforehand.” “Yeah, easier said than done.” She said, wistfully. “Don’t worry Cassy, you’re a beautiful girl, you’ll find someone.” “You really think I’m beautiful?” She looked into my eyes. “Sure I do Cassy, why wouldn’t I...there’s more to beautiful than what’s on the outside.” She smiled wryly. “Can I come back some other time Father Patrick?” “Absolutely Cassy, I never have anything to do in the afternoons.” After she left, I walked into the secondary school library and took out a book on post traumatic stress disorder. It certainly seemed the right diagnosis for her, but I’m no shrink. I sat reading awhile, and fell asleep at the table. When I awoke, it was dark, I suppose the librarian did not want to wake me. I pulled my head up off the page, and walked upstairs to my room. I collapsed down onto my bed and prayed inside of my head, once again for Cassy. Four more days passed before I heard or saw of Cassy again. I had been someone agonized as to where she was, and how she was doing. But Saturday night she showed up, once again, at my office door. I had been writing a letter to the bishop about the new bells our church needed, and I looked up at her knock. She was dressed rather scantily and I couldn’t help my eyes roaming over the unexposed parts of her body. She was wearing a very short jean skirt, that hardly came to mid thigh, with no stockings. Also a very tight, form fitting white shirt, and her nipples were hard. Oh my God, I thought to myself. I got up, and hugged her, but she held me to her. I was soon intoxicated by the sweet smell of her perfume as she whispered into my ear. “I just wanted to come by and thank you Father.” I placed the confessional sign on my door. “For what Cassy?” “You have been more than nice to me Father.” She rose out of her seat and came over to my office chair. I looked at her curiously as she came so close to me that I could smell her. My head was at her belly level, and she leaned down and her cleavage was directly in my face. She put a hand on my face, and it traveled down my cheek, down my neck, and onto my chest. “Cassy...I don’t think this is what you want.” I said to her, scared of the situation in which I found myself in. She looked at me briefly, before asking “Then what is it exactly that I want?” “You don’t want to ravish, you want to be ravished...be taken care of, as a princess would be.” She smiled at me, inviting me to her. I had to make a decision, and quickly. Was I ready at that point to give up everything I had for this girl? This beautiful girl? The thought hardly crossed my mind as I stood up and put my hand on her cheek. I kissed her forehead softly, then the tip of her nose, and she giggled. “You like that?” I smiled. “Mmhmm” She said, sounding almost intoxicated. I leaned down to kiss her, and as our lips met, hers were not moving, but as I tasted her cherry lip balm, she began to kiss me back. My hands were roaming. On her neck, on her back, on her tight ass. My hand came around to her flat stomach and my fingers began to work under the tight white fabric of her shirt as the kissing became more and more passionate. Her hand grabbed mine, and I withdrew my hand from her shirt. Then, she reached down and began to pull her shirt up and over her head, then letting it flutter to the floor. I looked at her breasts. They were absolutely perfect. Round, perky globes sitting there, with light pink nipples poking out of them. I placed my hand on one of them, and she groaned slightly. I took off my Roman collar, and placed it into my desk. I began to unbutton my shirt, and after letting it drop by Cassy’s shirt, she looked at my chest. I had to admit I kept myself in pretty good shape, with a nice set of abs, and distinct pecs. And, being the lucky man I was, I had very little chest hair, only a little in the middle of my chest, and some on my belly, around my belly button. I sat down on the couch I had in my office, and motioned for Cassy to come over also. She came over, and straddled my lap, and sat directly on the bulge in my pants. I worked my fingertips up her belly very lightly, and then reached down and cupped a breast in one hand and sucked gently on her nipple. She moaned more distinctly this time. I put my arms around her, and holding her tightly, kissed her very passionately. I kissed her neck, her chest, and then back down to her other breast. Her nipples were like small erasers at this point, and I pulled her skirt up over her hips. She was wearing a very small, tight pair of purple lace panties. She stood up, and in one quick motion, took the skirt and the panties off. I got up also, and she laid down on the couch. My right hand traveled down her tummy, down to her hairless sex. One of my fingers touched her clit, and she gasped. I let my finger travel lightly up and down her sex, and I could feel her getting wetter and wetter. I brought my finger to my lips, and tasted her. “Mmm, you taste delicious Cassy.” I said to her. I leaned down and kissed her belly, then the top of her pussy, then, spreading the lips of her pussy, probed my tongue in and out of her hot recess. She bucked her hips up to meet my tongue, grinding herself into me. I decided it was now or never. I unzipped the fly of my pants, and fishing through my boxers for my now painful erection, pulled it out of the fly. She gasped slightly when she saw it. It was nothing amazing though, probably 7 inches long, and thick, with veins bulging out on the sides. I stroked it with my right hand, fingering her with my left. I took my left hand then, and wetted my dick with it. I got on top of her, and straddling her, lined up the tip of my dick with her hot opening. I pushed in slightly, and she panted. I pushed a little harder, and cried out in agony myself, as she was sooo tight. When I hit bottom, she screamed, and wrapped her legs around my back, pulling me into her. I thrust into her, very slowly at first, just relishing the feeling of her hot, wet pussy around my throbbing dick. Then I began to pick up the pace. She began to moan, and I thrust even harder into her, my balls slapping against her ass. I soon felt a rather churning sensation in my balls, and I pulled out of her, leaving her gasping for air. I jerked off ‘til I came into a wad of tissues, which I quickly disposed of. When I looked back over to her, her eyes were closed. She had fallen asleep on my couch. I put my dick back into my pants, and lied down on the floor. I prayed and prayed and prayed for some time that night, hoping that she would not regret a moment of that night, because I surely had not.