5 comments/ 13884 views/ 2 favorites Danica's Loves By: Moondrift Fasta Danica Woodhouse sat in the lecture room staring adoringly at the man writing figures on the chalk board. She thought him to be the handsomest man she had ever seen, "A true Adonis," she thought. Not only was he extremely good looking, he was also courteous and charming, if somewhat austere. It may well have been this very austereness that added to his attractions; it was a challenge for nubile maidens. Danica was not the only girl with eyes for Spencer Church. The three other girls in the class, like Danica, sat gazing romantically at this male paragon. They could scarcely take in what he was saying or writing and this adoration caused considerable annoyance to the ten young men also sitting in the Farm Statistics class, known by the student as "Fasta." While the young men were calculating how they could get into the girls' knickers, the girls were scheming how they could get into Mr. Church's pants. Danica Woodhouse Danica was the daughter of a couple who ran a pastoral station up north. She had come down south partly to study a one year course on Cattle Management, and Fasta was part of the course. The other purpose was to give Danica an experience of city life and to meet a wider range of people than the isolation of a cattle station allowed. She was just eighteen and inclined to be shy and withdrawn, and seemed completely unaware of how attractive she was and the devastating effect she had on the young men around her. On completion of the course it was her intention to return to the cattle station and her parents, and gradually take over the station office work from her father and mother. While studying the course run by the Agricultural College she lived in a girl's hostel, and being somewhat socially inexperienced, she had made only one close friend, Nancy, who was doing the full three year Ag course. As far as Danica was concerned, she believed that she could only worship Spencer Church from afar, and he seemed to be unaware of her adoration, or that of the other girls. Spencer Church Spencer Church taught mathematics and sport at an expensive private boys' school. Many of the boys were from rural and pastoral families, sent to the city for the last four or five years of their education. His parents had been killed in a road crash when he was twelve, and he had been taken into the care of his uncle and aunt. On the death of his parents he had shown no emotion. Whether he genuinely felt no grief, or kept it locked inside him, is unknown. Intellectually he found mathematics to be the most logically satisfying subject. His tutors found him to be brilliant and he might well have gone on to outstanding academic achievement, but instead he elected to teach at the boys' school. Physically it was sport that engaged him, perhaps even more than mathematics. Favoured with exceptional good looks -- looks that puzzled his aunt and uncle because his parents had not been exceptionally good looking -- his devotion to sport had given him a fine physique. Themselves outgoing, his aunt and uncle were sometimes troubled by Spencer's reserved manner and formal behaviour, but since he was so successful in the academic field, and brought home many sporting trophies, they agreed that all was well and that he would "grow out of" his introversion. Since so many of the boys at the school where he taught were from rural backgrounds, there was some degree of co-operation with the Agricultural College, hence Spencer spent one hour each week teaching Fasta. He was twenty six when Danica was studying his Fasta course. Invitation Like many things about Spencer Church, it is not possible to say what attracted him to Danica. True she was by far the best looking girl of the four in the class; in fact she was better looking than most of the girls he had met, but she was so shy, and it did not take an exceptionally observant person to see that the other three girls would have been far easier to get into his bed -- or theirs. Nevertheless, it was Danica who caught his eye. It was about half way through the academic year and after one Fasta class he caught up with her in the corridor. "Miss Woodhouse," he began. She had never been called "Miss" before; it was "Danica," "Dani," "Dan," or occasionally "Ms. Woodhouse. She thought being called "Miss" sounded old fashioned but rather lovely, somewhat like a male character from a Jane Austen novel. "Miss Woodhouse, would you care to dine with me one evening?" The invitation was abrupt and straight to the point and Danica was astounded. She was unable to reply for a few moments and Spencer stood looking at her, for once showing a little emotion since there was an anxious look in his eyes. "Er...Mr. Church...did you ask...did you say." "I asked you if you would care to dine with me one evening?" he said, carefully articulating each word. "Yes...yes..." Danica replied, still unable to believe that this was actually happening. Spencer took a diary and an old fashioned fountain pen out of his pocket, and after some discussion a day and time were agreed upon, this being carefully noted by him. Given the formality of his manner Danica wondered if she should bring a chaperon with her. Courtship The services of a chaperon would have been completely superfluous. By the end of their meal it was still "Miss Woodhouse" and "Mr. Church." There was not even a hint of, "Would you like to come up to my place for a drink?" Danica's experience of men was extremely limited but she had heard other girls discussing whether they should "let them" on the first date, or wait until the second date. She was therefore rather puzzled that Mr. Church, by their fourth date, had not even attempted to kiss her. It was during the fifth date that she tentatively suggested, "Would you like to call me Danica?" Spencer looked at her appraisingly for a few moments and the said, "Yes, all right Danica, I suppose it is appropriate. You may call me Spencer, but not in the presence of the students." It took another couple of dates before he held her hand and kissed her goodnight very primly. After that Spencer took her for drives in the country and to the beach. It was while sitting in his car staring out at the moon silvered sea that Spencer said, "I would like you to marry me." Danica knew that in Jane Austen style she should have asked for time to consider, but despite his rather stilted manner she was fond of Spencer, so she said, "Yes, I'll marry you." She waited for his euphoric outcry of joy, but it didn't happen. He said, "Thank you Danica, we shall go and choose the engagement ring on Saturday." "At last," thought Danica, "he's a thorough gentleman in the old fashioned way, but even he will want to do it with me. Everybody who's engaged does it these days." The only question in her mind was where. Would it be in his flat, the back of his car, on some mossy river bank, a motel or hotel room? She wondered if it would hurt much, and if he'd be sufficiently restrained to give her a couple of days to recover from the hymen splitting. Engagement Danica need not have been anxious about the pain of de-flowering; Spencer made no assault on her maidenhead. They flew up north so that Danica's parents could meet Spencer. They were quite impressed with him; like most people they were touched by his courteous manner. While there her mother took Danica aside for a "cosy little chat." "Darling, I know how it is these days. Your father and I waited until we were married, but we realise it's not like that now. Please make sure that Spencer wears something when you're...you're being...er...intimate. Or are you on the pill?" Poor Danica; she didn't want to admit that her fiancé had thus far denied himself the pleasures of her body, and so she said, "No mother, I'm not on the pill." "Well darling, you'll have to firm. Don't let him do it unless he's wearing one of those things, you don't want to...to...get in the family way before you get married, do you?" "No mother." Her father, after saying "A fine young fellow, a fine chap, you've chosen well my girl," simply asked if she was sure she would be happy with Spencer. Danica assured him that her future happiness was secure. "Sorry you're not coming back here to help run the business as we planned," he said, "but as long as my girl is happy, that's the important thing." In conversation with Spencer he said, "Danica's the only one we've got so she's very precious to us, you'll take care of her, won't you?" "She will be safe under my protection," Spencer replied. Mr. Woodhouse thought that was a rather odd way of putting it, but it seemed that his darling would be in safe hands. One year after they became engaged they were married in St. Anselm's Anglican Church. The guests consisted of relatives and friends of the bride and groom, although from Danica's observation Spencer did not seem to have many friends. His guests consisted of his aunt and uncle, who incidentally had been mightily impressed with Danica whom they described as "That lovely young girl." His aunt expressed the hope to her husband that "Perhaps she'll get him out of his stuffy ways." For the rest, there were some of Spencer's colleagues, and in the church a large group of uninvited boys from the school with whom Spencer did seem to be popular. Outside a line of boys from the school awaited them, and they showered them with confetti. Sentimental mothers often refer to the wedding day of their daughters as "The bride's day," and this, Danica felt sure, would indeed be her day. "Tonight we will do it," she told herself." After the reception they were driven to the airport and they took off for their island honeymoon, Danica trembling with anticipation. First Night For her honeymoon, and with Nancy's aid, Danica had chosen the most delicate nightdress she could find. Nancy, completely unaware of Danica's continuing virginal condition and under the impression that she and Spencer had been engaging in sexual activity throughout their engagement, thought Spencer might need an extra boost. Gazing at the flimsy nightdress she exclaimed, "My God, Danica, that'll get him going." And so, on that first night of their honey moon, after showering, Danica put on the night dress and entered the bedroom. Spencer was already clad in striped flannel pyjamas. Danica felt a trifle disappointed. She had expected to see Spencer wearing only a pair of pyjama shorts, or at least silk pyjamas. In the past Danica had read a few romantic, not to say erotic, novels, and so she at least had the rudiments of what to expect. There came to mind such passages as, "He gazed at her lovely body, barely concealed beneath the delicate fabric of her dainty night dress, and she could see the desire in his eyes and his hot throbbing manhood moulded by the thin cloth of his boxer shorts." Spencer gave her a brief glance and saying, "Ah, you're ready for bed," he pulled back the covers of the bed and clambered in. Poor Danica, she stood there bewildered. Where was the fiery embrace, the passionate kiss and the cries of, "How lovely you are my darling, my love, my beautiful wife."? "Well," Danica thought, "I'm feeling a little shy myself, so perhaps he is too. I will be different under the bed covers with the light off." She got into bed beside him and switching off the light and pulling up the covers, lay on her back awaiting his embrace. Nothing. "Spencer!" No reply. She felt for him with her hand. He was lying with his back to her. "Spencer?" A soft snore. He was asleep. Marriage I shall pass over many of the details and deal only with the most pertinent. Two things need to be said immediately: first, after two years of marriage Danica was as virginal as the day they wed; second all attempts by Danica to arouse Spencer's manhood had failed. Any attempt to talk to him about the difficulties was met with stony silence or he would simply walk away. It might be asked, why did Spencer marry Danica? The answer to that can only be conjectured. Perhaps it was considered unsuitable for an unmarried male teacher to be on the loose with a lot of boys, especially one who was involved with their sporting activities. The school principal may have had a private word with Spencer. It may have been because as a married teacher he became eligible for a house on campus. Perhaps he simply wanted someone to cook and keep house for him. It was not only the sexual aspect of their marriage that plagued Danica. Soon after their marriage it became clear that Spencer had no real interest in her. They rarely spoke, and he was often out at school sporting functions. Any suggestion by Danica that she attend these functions with him was met by, "Oh, I don't think you'd be interested." A few times when she did attend school sports functions he showed her to a seat and then left her and mingled with the boys and sports masters from other schools. Living on school campus was no help. The dull and plain wives of the other male staff members were no company, and in any case most of them were sick with jealousy at Danica's good looks, especially as their husbands found Danica to be very interesting. I hasten to add that Danica did not find the husbands interesting, as they were almost as dreary as their wives. It might also be asked why Danica stayed with her apparently impotent husband. Here we come up against one of those strange quirks some women have. Despite all the problems she was actually fond of him. Perhaps that fondness arose partly out of pity for him, but whether that is true or not, the fondness was there. Blaming Another ingredient in the mix was Danica's tendency to blame her self for Spencer's non-performance. Never aware of her own attractiveness, she took frequent inventories of her self, and always she came to negative conclusions. These I shall try to enumerate, putting beside them the true facts insofar as I have been able to ascertain them. "I'm too tall" (five feet six). "My hair is the wrong colour." (Golden brown, long, hanging down to her shoulders and shaped like a bell). "My eyes are the wrong shape and colour." (Dark brown, almond shaped). "My nose is awful." (Retrousse). "My mouth is too big," or alternatively "too small." (Not very large but with a rather delicious lower lip that protrudes slightly). "That hole in my chin is terrible." (A rather delightful indent). "Oh God, my neck." (Oh God, her neck; as graceful as a swan's). My breasts are too big," or alternatively "too small." (34C. You make up your own mind). "Look at my fat waist." (24 inches). "My hips stick out." (34 inches). "He must hate my pubic hair." (A rather nice little triangle that leads the eye to the firm cleft beyond, and consequently the mind to the delights that lay within that cleft). "My legs are too long," or alternatively, "too short." (Estimated two feet three inches). Other parts of her anatomy -- arms, hands, feet, all came in for the negative treatment. I can only say that to me all was nicely proportioned. There were a few other aspects; for example, she decided that she didn't smell nice. This led over time to the buying of twenty one different perfumes. I might go on relating other things, like cosmetics, but I am sure that I have written enough for you to get the point. Most of us can find things about ourselves that do not accord with some abstract idea of perfection, but in Danica's case it was the desperation she felt about the lack of her husband's interest in her. She had to be to blame, because obviously, in her view, she was unattractive to him. Consultation Danica had not discussed her marital woes with anyone, but there came a time when in despair she felt she must. There was only one person she felt she could trust to unburden herself with, Nancy, her friend from the Ag. Col. days. She and Nancy had back then shared many joys and problems. After Danica's marriage, that was soon followed by Nancy's marriage, they had not seen as much of each other, but Danica telephoned her, and they agreed to meet in a small café in town. Nancy had no idea what the topic was going to be, thinking it merely a social meeting. On seeing Danica Nancy exclaimed, "Darling, what's the matter, you look so depressed?" Danica held back the tears until the waitress had brought their coffee and cakes, and then they flowed. "Oh Nancy...Nancy, I'm so miserable." "What is it darling?" "Spencer." "Spencer?" Nancy's face became grim. "Is he beating you?" "No...no..." "Does he swear at you?" "No...no..." "Does he keep you short of money?" "No...no..." "Well what then?" Danica looked around furtively and then whispered, "Sex." "Ah," said Nancy, nodding knowingly," and then lowering her voice and bending toward Danica she said, "He wants to engage in...in...er...unnatural practices with you?" "No," cried Danica, unsure of what unnatural practices were, but thinking it sounded ghastly. "Oh," Nancy said, sounding relieved, "I think I understand. I've got a bit of a problem with Ralph, I think a lot of women have the same problem, you see, men don't always understand a woman's needs." "Don't they," Danica said, amazed that a lot of women should be living in unconsummated relationships. "Mmm," Nancy continued, "he leaves me too soon, he doesn't realise that my orgasm goes on a lot longer than his. I did have a talk to him about it and he's gradually getting better at it. Why don't you have a talk to Spencer about it?" "But Nancy, that not my difficulty." "Isn't it, what other problem can there be?" "He...doesn't do it at all." Nancy laughed and said, "Oh come on Danica, that's a bit of an exaggeration; you mean he doesn't do it as often as you would like." "No Nancy, I mean he doesn't do it at all." Nancy stared at her for a few moments, astounded. "You really mean, never?" "Not ever, not even once." Danica began to cry again and Nancy had to lend her a clean handkerchief. "Why darling...why...did something happen, did you say or do something that turned him off?" "I don't know," Danica wailed, "he won't even talk about it, in fact he hardly talks to me at all; he's only interested in the school, the boys and their bloody sport. If I was a cricket bat he might take more interest in me." "You...you don't think he's got another woman, do you?" "Another woman!" Danica yelped, causing two old ladies sitting at a far table to look up startled. "It wouldn't be so bad if he had another woman because then at least I'd know he could do it." The two old ladies looked hurriedly away. Nancy took on a conspiratorial air and said, "Darling, there's one sure fire way of getting a husband's interest." "Wha's dat?" Danica asked, blowing her nose "It's a bit drastic darling, but in your situation it might be the only solution." "What?" "Have an affair darling, and make sure Spencer finds out." "An affair, with a man?" "Well I wouldn't suggest a woman unless you're that way inclined, but if you are that way, that may be the trouble, Spencer senses that you're..." "I'm not that way inclined," Danica yelped, "I want to be fruitful and multiply." "What?" "I want to have babies." "Oh, well that's my suggestion Danica, and if you're interested I know a few very nice single men who would be glad to oblige and..." "I don't want to be obliged," Danica protested, "or if I am I want to be obliged with someone I love and who loves me." "Well, if you're going to be so particular darling..." "I am particular." "And look what it got you; Spencer. There's nothing more I can suggest. You think it over and let me know if you change your mind." Danica's Loves That seemed to end their talk and Nancy went off a trifle huffily. Temptation Despite her initial rejection of Nancy's suggested affair Danica did think about it. She thought about it during the day and during the night. She decided that she would pretend to be having an affair. She let Spencer hear her talking on the telephone using terms of endearment, even though in fact there was no one on the other end of the line; she sent herself letters with "Sealed with a kiss" or "Any where any time" written on the back flap. She even went away for a couple of days without telling him where she as going, but Spencer seemed unmoved. Deciding that she would have an affair, the question was, with whom? Certainly it would not be with one of Nancy's offerings, nor would it be with any of the school staff, for quite apart from anything else, she found them dreary, and if she was going to have an affair it would have to be with someone who excited her. It seemed that the situation produced an appropriate response. As I have pointed out, many of the boys in the school came from distant homes in the bush. Sometimes when there was a short vacation, a few of these boys remained at the school, the distance to home being deemed too far to travel for the short time. It was the school policy that these boys should do something useful, and they were set tasks like painting the sports pavilion, clearing up accrued detritus, weeding school gardens and planting trees. One hot afternoon Danica was sitting on the house veranda idly watching some boys painting a storage shed. These boys did not particularly interest her, there were always boys around the place, and given that her husband was more devoted to them than her, she generally disliked them. If she needed proof of her husbands neglect, the vacation was an opportunity for Spencer to spend some time with her. Instead, each day he had some excuse, some reason not to be with her. The reason always had something do with the school or boys. "Got to go and see the new mathematics programme the Education Department has come up with; "Got to go and see the new sports gear that's come in from overseas;" and so it went. Danica's eye suddenly focused on one particular boy who was nearer the house. He was digging out weeds on a grassy patch that had been neglected for some time. She vaguely knew him but couldn't remember his name. He was stripped down to a pair of shorts and his lithe young body was gleaming with sweat as he wielded a spade in the hot afternoon sun. He was older than most of the boys and had completed the high school curriculum but was staying on for another year. The school ran a post graduate agricultural diploma course in conjunction with the Ag. Col. Danica continued to watch him for a while, admiring his broad shoulders, flat muscular stomach and the rippling muscles on his arms and legs. She rose and went to the low fence dividing the garden from the rest of the school grounds. "Excuse me," she called. The boy looked up and Danica said, "It's very hot, would you like to come in for a drink?" "Thank you ma'am," he answered, smiling, "that would be welcome." He picked up his shirt and put it on but without buttoning it, and coming to the fence, stepped over it. Danica led the way into the kitchen and invited him to sit at the table. He had to be eighteen or nineteen years of age, and he looked at Danica in the way young men have in the presence of an attractive woman, appreciatively. Danica handed him a glass of soft drink, and sitting opposite said, "I've seen you around but I don't know your name. "Anders ma'am, Giles Anders, you're Mrs. Church, aren't you?" Danica was only about five years older than Giles so she said, "Calling me ma'am makes me feel so old, so why don't you call me Danica?" "Well we're not encouraged to call the staff or their families by there given names so..." "Oh, don't let's be bothered with all that nonsense," Danica laughed, "not in here, who's to know?" "Well okay," Giles said, "if it's all right with you then it's all right with me." "You're staying on for the Ag. Diploma, aren't you?" "Yes, and I wish to God I wasn't." "Oh, why is that, don't you like the course?" He shrugged, "The course is fine, but it's this place. Do you know I've been coming here for nearly six years, it can get to you in the end." "Couldn't you have gone home for the vacation?" "I could have normally but my parents are overseas and so..." "Where do they live?" "Oh, mum and dad have got a property on the west coast, wheat." "Ah, so that's why you're doing the Ag. Course?" "Yes and no; I don't think I want to go wheat farming. I'd like to stay around the industry, you know, farming and pastoral work, but I haven't made up my mind about doing what yet." "I come from a pastoral property...up north, cattle," Danica said. "Do you miss it?" Danica considered for a few moments and then said, "Yes...yes, I suppose I do. "Better than being caged in this dump?" "Is that how you feel Giles, caged?" He laughed, "Not so much now because I've got a lot more freedom from their petty rules, but you know how it is, it's like there's been a bad smell, and even though it's gone now, the memory lingers on." "Yes, I think I know what you mean. So they let you out of the place now?" "Yes, but I still have to be in by eleven o'clock because they lock up then." Danica thought for a moment and then said, "Giles, why don't we go out and have afternoon tea somewhere, we can both get away for a while?" "Oh, I'd like to but I don't think..." "Come on Giles, you said yourself that you can come and go more or less as you please, so why not?" "Well...er...Mr. Church..." "He's not here Giles and I don't suppose he'll be home until late, knowing him." She laughed and went on, "If it's a problem, I promise I won't tell if you promise not to tell." He returned her laugh and said, "Well yes, I'd really like that, and I promise not to tell. I'll have to go and shower and change first, is that okay?" "Yes, I'll wait for you by the main gate and we can drive into town. How long do you think you'll be?" "Give me half an hour," he said as he bounded out of the house and ran across to the main buildings. Danica smiled to herself and went to the bedroom, changed her dress and checked her hair and makeup. Seduction Danica drove to a quiet café and there over coffee they talked innocuously about Giles' home, his parents and future hopes. She looked him over carefully. She concluded that he was in his way as handsome as Spencer, but unlike Spencer Giles was open -- outgoing. She found the time with him pleasant, and on the way back to the school said, "Shall we do it again, Giles." "What, go out for afternoon tea together?" "Yes." "Well, I've enjoyed being with you Danica, but don't you think...I mean, you're a married woman and...and if we were seen people might start talking." Danica chucked and said, "If they did start talking I'd find that rather flattering. But don't worry, we can be very discreet." Danica was rather surprised at her boldness. "Well, if you think its okay," Giles said. "When shall we make it? How about tomorrow afternoon?" "Yes, I could get away," Giles replied. "Good, then suppose I meet you at the gate again, say at half past one?" Giles' eagerness in agreeing was very satisfying to Danica. They had several more afternoon teas together, and an attachment began to develop between them. Danica was not sure if she was in love with Giles, but she thought what she felt for him must be rather like being in love. Observing Giles she concluded that he must be having a similar experience. That she had gained the interest of a young man like Giles started to give her a more positive self-image. Lying beside the recumbent and sleeping Spencer at night, she visualized what it would be like to make love with Giles. A phrase from a novel she had read floated into her mind, "She felt his firm manhood enter her sweet femaleness, and soon his manly seed was pulsating into her, seeking to fertilise her." "Yes," she thought, "that is how it would be with Giles." The school returned to full activity and Danica thought that her covert afternoons with Giles would be at an end. He, however, pointed out that his course was les rigidly structured than that of the rest of the students and that he could on occasion get away for an hour or two. Since Spencer was always over at the school during the day they were able to continue their meetings, but they deemed it unwise to go out to a café. Instead Giles, by a circuitous route, came to the house. Danica had firmly made up her mind, and one afternoon she sat gazing at Giles, calculating her moment. She had read in a novel about a woman inviting a man to make love with her: "She saw the eager longing in his eyes, and extending her arms to him said, 'Make love with me darling.'" Danica tried to gauge whether Giles' eyes were filled with eager longing. She wasn't sure what that would look like, but his eyes were certainly looking at her. Taking the plunge she said nervously, "Giles, would you like to make love with me?" "What?" "I...I...I...said...would you like to make love...do it with me?" "Have sex with you?" "Yes, if you don't mind." "But Mr. Church, he..." "It's all right Giles, I don't think he'd mind, but I wouldn't tell him anyway." "He wouldn't mind?" "No, he doesn't care about sex." "Doesn't care about it, what do you mean?" "Well, he doesn't do it." "You mean he's cooled off?" "No, I mean that he never does it, not ever." "But he must have...I mean...when you first got married." "No, he never has." Giles was aghast at Spencer's failure as a husband and said, "Isn't there a law about it; he has to do it with you?" "I don't know Giles, but even if there is a law I don't think it would make any difference because I don't think he can," Danica said a trifle impatiently; it wasn't going according to the books. "But you must have done it with someone else," Giles said. "No, I'm still a virgin; now look here Giles, do you want to do it with me or not?" "Well...er...yes, I've wanted to do it with you ever since that day you first invited me in for a drink." "Then do it Giles; I've waited years, so don't make me wait any longer." "All right, if you're sure." "I'm sure but I'm not certain exactly how you go about it, do you know?" "I've got the theory," he replied, "but I haven't had any practical experience." "You're not a virgin too?" "Yes, I'm afraid I am, but perhaps we can work it out," Giles said, rising and going to her." "Just a minute," Danica said, "I'd better take these off;" she rose and removed her panties. She pulled up her skirt and lay back on the divan saying, "Is this all right?" "Yes, but could you open your legs a little wider." She opened them and said, "Will it do like this?" "Yes, I think so," Giles said, pulling down the zip of his jeans and taking out his penis. "Oh my God," Danica gasped. "What...what's wrong?" Giles asked anxiously. "I didn't think they were so big." Giles glanced down as his erect phallus and said, "Is it big, I didn't know?" "It looks big," Danica said speculatively. "You will be careful, won't you? You know, it's my first time as well and it may hurt." "I'll try and be careful," Giles said earnestly. As Giles awkwardly clambered on top of Danica she said, "I read in a book that men really need to...you know...finish...put their...er...sperm in the woman." "Yes." "Well if I give a little scream don't stop unless you want to but try and be quick because it might be hurting me." Given that he was close to ejaculating even before they'd started Giles felt that he was able to assure her that he would be quick. There was some fumbling as Giles tried to find the entrance to Danica's vagina, and as she felt the head of his penis touch her inner lips she said, "You'll do it qui...oh....ow..." Giles had split the delicate membrane and was plunging his penis deep into her. He was as good as his word, and very quickly Danica would have felt his sperm thumping into her if she hadn't been so sore. As he pulled out of her she said, "It wasn't really very good, was it." "Well it was the first time," Giles said. "Yes, and I've read in the books that you learn as you go along, it just takes time and practice, so I think we'll have to do it again, perhaps in a couple of days when I've healed -- oh my goodness, look at the mess; there's blood on my skirt and your penis it's...it's got me all over it. I'd better get this skirt in soak and then I'll wash your...or would you rather do it yourself?" She rose and then said, "Oh, it's all starting to come out of me, have you got a handkerchief I can borrow?" Giles produced a handkerchief and Danica, clamping it over her genitals said, "We'd both better go and have a wash, we'll go to the bathroom, but I'll put this skirt into soak in the laundry first, you wait here." Having removed her skirt Danica only had her blouse on, and as she left the room Giles caught sight of her pert buttocks. That stirred him again. Danica returned and led Giles to the bathroom. He pushed down his jeans and Danica said, I'll do it for you, after all most of it is my mess. She commenced washing his penis, and as a result it started to extend and harden again. "Giles," Danica gasped, "it's got big again." "Er, yes." "Isn't there something that men do when it gets big?" "You mean masturbate?" "That' it, masturbate, I read about it somewhere. It said that sometimes men like a woman to do it for them, is that true?" "Yes, I think so," Giles said, "but I've not actually experienced it like that." "Would you like me to try?" "Yes, if you don't mind." Danica had rather enjoyed washing his penis and so she said, "No, I don't mind, but what do I do?" "Oh...give me your hand." He took Danica's hand in his and then wrapped her fingers round his penis. "If you move your hand like this," he said, starting to move it, "you'll make me come." Danica was a quick learner and she was actually enjoying the sensation of holding his warm hard penis. "Faster...faster..." Giles gasped. Danica increased her pace and suddenly Giles gasped, "It's coming ...it's coming...ah..." Danica watched, fascinated, as large globules of sperm shot out of Giles' urethra. When he finished Danica cleaned his penis again, saying, "So that's what it's like, I think we shall have a lovely time together...oh...ah...I'd completely forgotten." A mixture of sperm and blood had run down the inside of her thighs, and as she started to remove it Giles took over saying, "My turn." As he dried her thighs he said, "I suppose you know I love you, Danica?" "I thought you might," she replied, "I think I might love you, but I'm not sure yet. If we make love some more I think I shall know." Fulfillment Giles returned the next day, but Danica said she was still too sore to take his penis, but she said she would do it with her hand again, and Giles had to be content with that. It was arranged that Giles should return the next day when Danica said she would probably be healed. In the meantime Danica had resorted to her sex manuals, and while they gave various positions they did not describe how you led up to them. Using her imagination, on Giles' arrival she said, "We can do it today, but do you think it would be better if we took our clothes off, we could feel each other properly that way?" "I think that would be wonderful," said Giles, who was about to suggest that anyway. They did not try to undress each other, instead doing it for them selves. After a few shy moments they turned to look at each other. "Danica," Giles gasped, "you're so beautiful." Danica who on that first occasion had seen Giles in his shorts, knew something of his body, and having seen and handled his penis in the bathroom, felt herself to be on fire, her nipples hardening, her clitoris throbbing and there as a growing wetness in her inner thighs. She had never felt like this before, and so she went to Giles and pulling herself against him whispered, "I want you Giles...I need you." Giles felt her breasts melting against his chest and moaned, "I love you Danica...I love you so much." "I know darling, I know," Danica said, close to tears. "Do it with me now, do it properly." She moved back to the divan and lay on it, drawing Giles down on top of her. He kissed her and laid a hand on her breast, not very expertly, but it drew a sigh from Danica and she said, "Yes, I do love you Giles...I do..." A little more adeptly this time she guided him in, and as she felt the head of his penis press against the top of her vagina she moaned, "Its lovely darling...lovely." "I could be like this with you for ever," he said, as he began to move slowly in her. She began to sense his rhythm and started to push up against his downward thrusts. "Don't stop...don't ever stop," she whimpered but as he moved more quickly she changed. "Giles, something's happening...stop darling...don't...I'm frightened it's...oh...no...no darling...oh...oh...please stop...it's going to hurt...oh...aha...yes...yes...oh yes...harder darling...oh my love...it's...it's...mmm...oohaaaah...oh..ha...oh...ha..." Giles' sperm thudded deep into her she cried out, "Don't stop...don't stop..." as she worked herself frantically over his length. "What have you done...what have you done to me?" she wailed as the post orgasmic tremors continued to rack her. He made no attempt to withdraw from her, but nevertheless she clutched him to her, crying out, "Don't leave me...don't leave me...I won't let you..." Then came peace, post coital relaxation, and still they remained joined at the genitals. "I didn't know it would be so beautiful," she said, "its like being taken to heaven." "I won't ever let you go," Giles said, "not after this." Trouble There were only a couple of months to go before Giles was due to finish his course and then make up his mind what he was going to do. Gradually he and Danica had learned to how to enjoy each other's bodies - to give pleasure and demonstrate love. Giles started to beg Danica to leave Spencer and go away with him. Danica, despite being utterly besotted with Giles, would never give an answer. How would they live if she did go away with him; what would happen to his potential career? She loved him and in loving him she wanted only what was best for him. Ambivalent, she could not make up her mind what to do. Certainly, after what she had experienced with Giles, the thought of the arid years ahead with Spencer revolted her, but to go away with Giles...? Unable to make up her mind, it was in a sense made up for her. The catalyst was the discovery that she was pregnant. Giles was the only possible father. This undoubtedly meant the end of her life with Spencer, but it also meant the breaking off of her relationship with Giles. She would not saddle him with herself and a child so early in his life. With Spencer at work all day, and telling Giles that she would not be able to see him the next day, she decided she must leave. On the day of her leaving she wrote two letters, one to Spencer, the other to Giles. Unable to use a term of endearment she began: Spencer, I am leaving you. Throughout the time of our marriage you have not only deprived me of my conjugal rights, but you have also neglected me in other ways, putting everything else in your life before me. I must tell you that I took a lover -- who it does not matter - for reasons that should be obvious to you, and now I am pregnant. Danica's Loves I am sure you would not want to accept another man's child, and indeed, I wouldn't want you too. I am returning to my parents and so, if you want to contact me you know where to find me. I feel sure you will not be unhappy to be rid of me. Danica. To Giles she wrote: My darling Giles, I know you will be hurt and angry at this letter, but I want you to believe that I am writing and acting for your own good. Life has been at its most wonderful and beautiful with you, but it cannot possibly go on. I am leaving Spencer, but not to go away with you. You have much in front of you, and having me in your life will in the end only prove to be a burden for you. I love you with all my heart, and I think I always will, and for the sake of this love I must give you up. Please don't try to find me because it will achieve nothing if you do. My darling, do something of worth with your life and find happiness with some other woman who can freely love you in a way I cannot. You will always be in my heart Danica. The taxi drew up outside the house. Danica placed the letter to Spencer on the kitchen table; the letter to Giles she posted from the airport. The north bound aircraft took off, bearing Danica away from the place of her worst misery and her greatest joy. Decade Danica sat before the computer in the station office using some of the statistical knowledge she had learned at the Ag. Col. If she remembered that it had been Spencer who taught her the memory meant little to her now. It had been ten years since she had last seen him, and despite the fact that she was glad to get him out of her life, it had hurt, that knowing where she must have gone, he made no effort to contact her. The divorce had been dealt with solely by solicitors. She had returned to her parents' home, and if they did not fully understand what she had been through, they accepted her and the baby. If Spencer had ceased to haunt her life, Giles had not. There had been plenty of jackaroos who had worked on the station who would gladly have married her, baby and all, but the memory of Giles stood between her and any would-be suitor. Her parents had retired and gone to live in Cairns. They had wanted to sell the place, but Danica had begged them to let her try and run it. In the end they had relented and left to her to get on with it, although still taking a share of the profits. It was a time when Australian beef was considered to be clean and green and it had been popular on the world markets, and Danica and her parents had done well. OId Jim entered the office, a worried frown on his face. Jim was the station foreman and had been working there for as long as Danica could remember. He and his wife, Sybil, were childless and they had been almost like an aunt and uncle to Danica. Not renown for his garrulousness Jim came straight to the point. "Got trouble down at Whelks Bore." Picking up his economic manner of speech Danica said, "What? "'Alf a dozen 'ead lyin' down. Can't get 'em up, even the dawg can't move 'em." "Sick?" "Reckon." "What?" "Dunno, ain't seen nuthink like it before. Frothin' at the mouth an' all" "Serious?" "Reckon." "Vet?" "Yeh, might spread." "I'll give him a ring." "I'll do it Dani. I'll go back ter the bore and take another look and I can get the symptoms right. I'll give 'im a bell an' let yer know, okay." "Okay." "Might be nothin' much Dan," Jim said as he left her. She heard him start his motorized tricycle and go roaring off down the track, leaping over the corrugations and trying to avoid the potholes. She sighed and leaned back in the chair. The station had one of the best green and clean reputations and they couldn't afford to lose it. She returned to her statistics but was tense as she waited for Jim's call. The bore was about five kilometres from station house and it was nearly three quarters of an hour before Jim called. "Another three down. I've rung 'im and 'e says 'e'll fly in. Couple of hours." "Right Jim, I'll drive down to the strip and meet him and then drive him out to the bore, you stay there and keep an eye on things." "Okay Dani." Danica worked on for another hour and a half, then she rose and went to another room. A girl about nine years of age was sitting at a desk with a computer at one end and a television set at the other. The girl was chewing the end of a pencil and frowning slightly. "I've got to go down to the strip Angela," Danica said. "Aunty Sybil is in the kitchen so you'll be all right. How was the lesson?" "Oh, all right I suppose." The School of the Air was Angela's source of education but like most inland children she was destined to one day go to a private school in the city down south. Danica sometimes wondered if her daughter would have the same disastrous love experiences as herself. "Who's coming in, mummy?" the girl asked. "The vet darling, we've got some sick cattle. I must go." She got into the station Land Rover and headed for the strip, which was only a few minutes away. As she approached the strip she saw the single engine aircraft lining up to land. It touched down and taxied towards the Land Rover. The engine stopped, there was a pause, a door at the side of the cockpit was open and the vet stepped down wearing a rucksack and carrying a black bag. Turning to look at Danica he froze. Danica felt the blood drain from her face and for a moment she thought she was going to faint. "Danica?" he said huskily. "Giles, I...I didn't know it was..." "The man who phoned me, he said the station belonged to Dan Woodhouse." "Oh...oh...that was Jim, he always calls me Dan or Dani." "But Woodhouse, your name is Church." "Yes...I mean no...after I left Spencer I used my family name." "I see." Giles suddenly became brisk. "You've got some sick cattle?" "Yes, we don't know what it is." "Where?" "Down by Whelks Bore, I'll drive you there." In silence they got into the Land Rover and headed off for the bore. They remained silent as Danica drove, each wrapped in their own thoughts, but with a painful tension between them. This was a moment that Danica had long hoped for and yet dreaded. She had always felt that one day she and Giles would come face to face; no matter how long it took, one day it would happen, and then there would be the accusations and attempted explanations. She felt her stomach start to churn. She was tempted to glance at Giles, to see what his face might tell her, but she could not take her eyes from the rough track. Jim with a couple of station hands was waiting for them at the bore. "Another one down," he said gloomily. "How many altogether," Giles asked. "Ten now," Jim said. "When did it start?" "Can't be sure," Jim replied, "they was okay yesterday but when I got 'ere this mornin' there was six of 'em down." Giles moved to the nearest animal and divesting himself of the rucksack and putting his bag beside it he put on a pair of surgical gloves, he knelt and began the examination. The others looked on anxiously. There were cattle diseases that could wipe out whole herds, of alternatively the herd had to be put down and the property quarantined. After what seemed an age Giles rose and said, "It looks as if this one has been poisoned." "Poisoned!" Danica exclaimed, "Who would do a thing like that?" "It may not be a matter of whom, but what," Giles said. "Have these cattle been hand fed?" Jim scratched his buttocks and replied, "Na, no need since the drought broke." "I'll take a look at these others, but I'm fairly sure its poison." There was another wait and when Giles rose he said, "Yes, I'd say it was poison, but by what I can't say. Where have these cattle been grazing?" "Last few days close to the bore," Jim said, "they was due to be moved on to Five Mile Bore termorrer." "Have you seen anything different lately?" "Different?' "Any change in the feed, the grass?" "Not that I've noticed," Jim replied, removing his hat and scratching his bald head. "There's that stuff over by Ted's Mound, Jim," a station hand said. "Stuff?" "Yeh, mentioned it the other day; sort of pretty spikey looking stuff." "Oh yeh?" Jim said. "Where?" Giles asked sharply. "About a quarter of a kilometre over that way," the hand said. "Ain't seen nuthin like it before." "Show me," Giles said. The group set off on foot towards a slight rise in the flat plain. As they approached Ted's Mound a roughly circular dark green patch became visible. As they drew near it proved to be a broad leafed grass with a white vein running through it. The patch was about twenty metres in diameter. "How long has this been here?" Giles asked. "Stan?" Jim said. "Dunno," Stan replied, "only saw it the other day, don't come over 'ere very often." Giles looked closely at the plant and said, "Looks like Kyuki grass; that could be the trouble." "Kyuki, never 'eard of it," Jim said. ""ow did it get 'ere?" "I don't know," Giles replied. "It comes from Africa and somehow it got into the eastern states, brought in accidentally with some cargo, or some idiot managed to sneak it past customs; they probably thought it would make a nice ornamental plant for their garden." "Yeh, but why 'ere?" "Could have got here in a number of ways," Giles said thoughtfully, "birds carrying its seed, or...do you get any of those four-wheel drive off-road vehicles through here?" "A few," Danica replied. "It could have been brought in on one of those. Anyway, I'm not sure whether this caused the problem, but I'll have to report it to the authorities and they'll take over. In the meantime I'll give the sick animals an injection; no guarantees but it's worth a try until the cause is determined one way or the other." "Will you have to quarantine us?" Danica asked. "That'll be up to the authorities," Giles replied, "but in the meantime, can you get the cattle moved away from this area. " "I'll drive 'em over to the Five Mile Bore, they can be there before dark." "The sick ones can't be moved, can you leave someone with them overnight. If they're still alive by the morning they'll probably be okay." "Young Dave can stay with 'em," Jim said, looking at a young jackaroo. They returned to Whelks Bore and Giles administered the injections. "That's about all I can do for now," Giles said. "If I can use your telephone I'll let the authorities know, then I'd better be off." "Yes," Danica replied, "let's get back to the house." Speaking They got into the Land Rover a commenced the drive back, once more in grim silence. Suddenly Danica pulled into the side of the track, switched off the engine and said, "This is bloody stupid Giles." "What?" "You know what, this not speaking, as if we haven't got things to say to each other." "Do we have anything to say to each other, surely things are clear enough; you made them clear ten years ago?" "And you're still angry with me?" "You bet I'm angry," Giles retorted. "Well that's something," Danica said, "I've lived with one man who was a cold fish so it's nice to know I can get an emotional response from another man, even if it is anger." "You got a different response the last time we saw each other," Giles said sullenly. "There you are," Danica said. "There I am what?" "You're talking -- we're both talking -- so there is something to talk about." "Oh, very clever...very funny," Giles said sardonically; "So what do we do, talk about the good old days?" "Were they good?" Danica asked quietly. "No, and I was bloody stupid to have let it happen." "You didn't say that at the time, Giles." "All right Danica, it was bloody wonderful at the time, but you destroyed it." "Because I left you?" "You knew how I felt about you, you let me fall in love with you and you must have known all the time what you were going to do." "Giles, I'd been married to Spencer for more than two years. You know how it had been, I didn't lie to you." "If you had lied it would soon have been revealed the first time we made love, but in that at least you didn't lie." "My hymen?" "Yes, I don't think you could have faked that." "It was a mess wasn't it?" They looked at each other and then burst out laughing. "Do you remember how you told me not to take any notice if you screamed, that you'd read in some book that men needed to finish?" "Yes, and what I did to you in the bathroom afterwards?" They lapsed into silence again until Danica said, "It was wonderful with you, even though we were both so inexperienced." "If it was so wonderful why did you leave me. I would have gone away with you...gone anywhere, done anything?" "I know Giles, and that was just the point. You were young and on the verge of starting a career, and obviously you did - I never expected you to become a vet -- I would only have been a burden to you." "So you said in your letter." "You remember what I wrote?" "Of course I remember, what did you expect? The most shattering news I've ever had and you expect me to have forgotten." Cautiously Danica said, "Then perhaps you may remember that I wrote that I hoped you'd find happiness with some other woman who could freely love you in a way I could not?" "Yes, I remember." "And have you?" "Found another woman?" "Yes." "No, I haven't, have you found another man...or men?" he said bitterly. "That was unnecessary Giles, and cruel, but since you asked, no I haven't, I've been too busy with this place to look, but if I had, would it matter to you?" Giles had been glaring at her, but now he looked away, and avoiding her question said, "I'd better get to that phone and make the calls." Danica started the engine and they drove on to the house. Disclosure She led Giles to the office and left him to make his calls. By the time he'd finished it was growing dark, and Danica said, "You can't fly back tonight." "Yes I can," he said, "when there's an emergency I fly at..." Is there an emergency now?" "No." "Then have your calls transferred here and you can stay the night." Giles recalled the time she had said something similar to him, and it pained him as he remembered how they had been that night. He shrugged and said, "Then thank you, I'll stay; I can take another look at the cattle before I leave in the morning." "Then I'll go and tell Sybil there's an extra one for dinner this evening." Sybil?" "Jim's wife, she does some cooking and cleaning for us." She left him, and Giles wondered who "us" was. When Danica entered the kitchen it was to see Angela seated at the table mixing something in a bowl. "Extra one for dinner, Sybil," she said. Angela looked up and said, "Who, the vet?" "Yes darling, it's too late for him to fly back to the town now." "Is he nice?" "Yes darling, in fact he's an old friend of mummy's." "Do I know him?" "No darling, I knew him before you were born." She glanced at Sybil who was gazing at her enquiringly. Sybil was the only person she had shared the full story of Spencer and Giles with. There must have been something In Danica's tone of voice the made Sybil lift her eyebrows. Danica nodded and hurried out of the kitchen. Giles was standing in front of the window staring out into the gathering darkness. As Danica entered he turned and asked, "How long have you been running this place?" "On my own? About eight years. Mum and dad have retired, gone to live in Cairns. They wanted to sell the place, but I asked them to let me try and run it." "And it's going well?" "Yes, it's been rather profitable." Sybil stuck her head round the door and said, "It's on the table." For a moment she stepped inside the room and looked hard at Giles, and then hurried out. As Giles entered the dining room Angela was already seated at the table. "My daughter Angela; darling, this is Dr. Anders who's come to look at the sick animals." "Hello Angela," Giles said. "Hello, will you look at Happy, she keeps trying to put her paw in her mouth?" "Happy?" "Her Dalmatian," Danica explained. "Ah...er...yes, after we've eaten perhaps." During the meal the conversation centred on the virtues of Happy, the running of a cattle station, and the life of a vet. When they'd finished Giles was taken to Happy who was lying in a corner of the kitchen looking very unhappy. "You say she keeps trying to put her paw in her mouth?" "Yes, lots of times." "Let's have a look." Giles opened Happy's mouth which did not seem to make her very happy, and felt around with his fingers. "Ah yes, Danica, would you fetch my black bag from the hallway?" She left while Giles continued to hold the dog's mouth open. Returning with the bag Giles said, "If you open it you'll see a large pair of tweezers, hand them to me will you?" She rummaged in the bag and finally brought out the tweezers. Giles probed into the dog's mouth with them and said, triumphantly, "There you are," and displayed a small but sharp piece of bone. That's what she was trying to get out, but it was stuck in too firmly." "Come along darling, shower and bed; so say goodnight to Happy and Dr. Anders and thank him for fixing Happy." The girl kissed happy on top of her head, "Goodnight Happy, and you thank Dr. Anders for making you better." Happy did not seem inclined to thank Giles, and instead glowered at him suspiciously. "Goodnight Dr. Anders and thank you." "I'll only be a few minutes," Danica said, and led Angela away. She returned a few minutes later saying, "She's old enough to shower herself." Confrontation Giles sat in the lounge, grimly engrossed in his thoughts. Danica entered and said, "Well, what do you think?" "Think?" "About Angela?" "She seems like a nice girl; what is she, the result of virgin birth?" "What do you mean Giles?" "You said there have been no men in your life, so it must have been a virgin birth." "What...what a horrible thing to say, Giles." "Why, if no men then it must have been..." "Are you being deliberately stupid Giles." "No, but you must think I am to have put that story across about no men when you knew I'd see the girl." Danica remained silent for several moments, and then said very quietly, "How old do you think she is. Giles?" "I'm no good at children's ages or quizzes," he replied irritably. "I'm nine," said a voice from the doorway. They turned to see Angela standing there. "Why are you and Dr. Anders fighting mummy?" "We're...we're not fighting darling, it's...it's just that...that Dr. Anders is going to find something he didn't know he'd lost, now off to bed." Danica hustled Angela off to bed, and as they went Giles heard Angela saying, "How could Dr. Anders lose something he didn't know he had?" On her return Giles said, "And what was the conundrum all about?" "It's a pity you didn't do Fasta, Giles, because then..." "I did do Fasta," Giles protested. "What, and you can't even add up?" "I use a computer or a calculator these days," Giles said smugly. "Nine years old, Giles...nine years old. How long is it since we last saw each other?" "About te...oh my God, you don't mean...? "Yes." Giles was stunned. He stood staring at Danica, a look of bewilderment etched on his face. "But...but...if you...I'm...why the hell didn't you tell me; you let me think..." he said angrily; and then quietly, "Ah, you didn't know until after you left me, that's it, you didn't know, did you?" "You seem determined to think the worst of me, Giles, I think I'll go to bed." "No you don't," Giles said, taking hold her arm, "you're not going to get away with it like that. I thought you loved me, and then you dumped me with just a letter to explain. Have you any idea what I went through, thinking about you, wanting to be with you, I..." Danica's Loves "Yes Giles, I did have some idea what you were going through because I was going through the same. Now you can believe me or not, but I did know I was pregnant before I left, and Angela was another reason I left. I knew that you shouldn't be saddled with a child at that time in your life. Is that plain enough for you?" Giles said nothing; he simply stood holding Denica's arm. "And now Giles, if you'll let go of my arm, I'll go to bed." Letter Danica found the letter on the kitchen table when she entered it after a restless night. It read: My Dear Danica, Before leaving I thought I would take this opportunity to tell you how I feel as simply as possible. First, I must say that in the time before you left I loved you dearly. Secondly, I must say that although I was angry and hurt that you had left, that anger was mingled with a love that has never died. I know that what I said to you last night must have been profoundly insulting to you, and I now deeply regret what I said. Unlike you I cannot say there has been no on else, there has been, but those relationships failed because I was always seeking you in them, and I was being very unfair to the rather decent two women I have had relationships with. You see, I am guilty of hurting too. I may have expressed myself inadequately, but I felt the need to tell you how I feel. I still love you Giles. "Why are you crying mummy." "Oh, it's nothing darling, I just...just...isn't that the Land Rover?" The sound of the vehicle stopped outside the house and a few seconds later Giles walked in. "I just drove over to the bore," he said. "Four of them are on their feet, about the others, well, we'll have to wait and see." "Giles!" Danica exploded, "you beast...you beast, you made me think you'd gone." "Why?" "The letter...you wrote me the letter." "Well you wrote one to me once, and so I've done the same for you, but I didn't say I was leaving just yet, did I?" "Oh Giles, you really are a terrible man, but I do love you." "Mummy, you always say we mustn't kiss strange men, so why are you kissing Dr. Anders?" "He isn't a strange man darling, we've known each other...oh...for a long time." Giles laughed and said, "Yes, for a long time, and I think we've got some things to sort out and some arrangements to be made." Conclusion Some day Danica and Giles intend to tell Angela how she came into this world. After discussion with Danica's parents it was agreed that the property should be sold. Danica and Giles married and they now live in the town where Giles has his practice. Danica had two more children, both boys. She underwent further training and now works as Giles' veterinary nurse. Perhaps you would like to know how I have this story of Danica. Well, I suppose I've heard and experienced most of it, and in a sense I'm still experiencing it. I can hear her approaching and I know what it will be. "Giles, what are you doing?" "Nothing sweetheart, just writing a few notes."