4 comments/ 15205 views/ 0 favorites A Snapshot of Jack's Life Ch. 01 By: Yourstohave "You're still an asshole." Jack stared wearily at his computer screen. The e-mails always ended with, "You're still an asshole." He could feel the bile rise in his throat. He popped another four Tums and chewed them furiously. His stomach hurt. He was positive he had an ulcer, all thanks to that bitch of a secretary. He hit delete and turned off the computer screen. He sat at his desk, staring at the darkened computer screen. He thought to himself, "How in the name of God did I get to this point? Just one short year ago my life was normal. Sure it was predictable, but it was peaceful. What the fuck was I thinking?!" ****************************** Jack had been with the same law firm for over 25 years. He began his career at the firm straight out of law school. As was expected, he put in a tremendous amount of time, sweat and billable hours as an associate before his hard work was rewarded. He worked his way to the top and was now a senior partner at Johnson, Smith & Donald, LLP. As stressful as his job was, he enjoyed what he did. It gave him purpose and paid him very well. At work he was well liked, respected and everyone thought highly of him. Stan Johnson, one of the firm's founding partners and Jack's boss, was an exacting man. Stan tolerated no excuses, no failures and certainly no whiners. He gave Jack a tremendous amount of work and responsibility. His boss expected him to finish what was assigned, and then ask for more. Saying "no" or "I can't" was unacceptable. As it was, Jack had a tremendous fear of saying no. Saying no was like dying. The minute you stopped being useful, well you could pretty much imagine. He couldn't even bring himself to ask for help. No matter how much was on his plate, if he was asked to do something else he would smile and say, "Of course. No problem." He sat on many committees, both personally and professionally. He chaired the school board at his daughter's private school, was technology advisor and choir director at his parish and finance chair for his university alumni advisory committee. He even organized his neighborhood watch committee. At work, he chaired no less than seven committees. They ranged from Employee Council, to other important committees, such as the Diversity Committee and Pro Bono Committee. Jack attended the right university, worked for the right firm, lived in the perfect house, in the perfect neighborhood, had the perfect wife, a charming daughter, two well behaved dogs, and of course, was the perfect dutiful son. His wife knew she struck gold when she married him. No other man would provide as well financially as he did, yet also be willing to do the floors on Saturday mornings. He loved order and peace in his life. He structured his days carefully. He rose quietly each morning, so as to not awaken his wife, at precisely 4:45 a.m. He began each morning by performing his spiritual and physical exercises. He showered, dressed and then drank a cup of coffee while reading the morning paper. After he finished the paper he would pack a lunch for his wife and daughter. He never packed a lunch for himself. Jack monitored what he ate as carefully as he monitored his monthly billing logs. Mistakes were not allowed. He didn't want to become one of those middle aged men with a humongous gut that hung to his knees. Each day he would eat a small salad and soup, with water as his choice of beverage. His luxuries in life were a great dinner and a good beer every once in a while. Although he monitored his weight meticulously, he loved cooking and often tried out new recipes. Friday nights were reserved for dinner or a movie, or if he and his wife were feeling adventurous, a drink at the local bar. On weekends, his routine varied slightly. He would do chores instead of heading off to work as he normally did. Saturday mornings were reserved for his floors. He did them every week without fail. After the floors were done, he would shower and take a short nap if the mood struck him. Every Saturday afternoon he would travel to the same health food store and purchase just enough groceries to last the week. He would prepare dinner and clean up the kitchen, just as he did every night. He would then read or watch television until it was time for bed. On Sunday's he would attend Mass in the morning, have brunch with his family, tinker around the house and then prepare dinner. He would go to bed and the next morning his routine would begin once more. On holiday or during vacation there might be slight variations but for the most part, this was his routine. He never tired, never strayed, never wondered why or what if? For this was his life. Simple and comfortable, it was who he was at his most basic. His only fault, if one could call it a fault, was frugality. While the other partners at the firm drove luxury cars and dressed in Armani, he bought his suits straight from the Sears catalog and drove an economy car. His parents had not only instilled a sense of honor, trust and civility in their son, but had taught him the value of saving. And save he did. His parents had comfortably retired years ago. They traveled often and were enjoying the huge retirement their own frugality had given them. He learned well and at his age had already doubled the amount his parents' had socked away in their own retirement fund. Lest we forget, above all, Jack hated unseemly emotions. He did what was expected, what was right, and never caused waves. Growing up his parents loved him the best way they knew how, but love wasn't readily discussed, much less shown. You didn't argue or fight, or kiss and make up. You sat quietly at dinner, politely discussing current affairs, provided they weren't too controversial, and when finished, asked to be excused from the table. He did everything "right" and expected to be rewarded with a pleasant life that didn't get tangled up with ugly emotional dilemmas. Yes, looking at Jack's well structured, peaceful and vanilla life, one would assume he had it all. He managed this way, well enough for many years. And then she came along. ***************************** To be continued... A Snapshot of Jack's Life Ch. 02 Jack's brow furrowed in puzzlement. He quickly re-read the email and blushed. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed, and then realized how ridiculous that was. He was alone in his office. He unconsciously bounced his right knee up and down. It was a nervous tick he had, along with incessant pacing. If he didn't know any better he could swear she was flirting with him via email. He sat quietly contemplating the possibility. Jack knew he wasn't Brad Pitt, but he wasn't horrid looking either. He was tall and lanky, had brown eyes and a full head of brown hair (thank God). He was nearing 50 but most people assumed he had just turned 40 (again thanks to the full head of hair!). He'd had 8 lovers in his life. Two of them were his ex-wife and Collette. He hadn't slept with anyone except Collette since he'd married her 13 years ago. He had never even considered the possibility of cheating on her as he had done to his first wife. Yes, Jack had been married once before. He liked to pretend the marriage never happened. It was an embarrassment and source of humiliation that he'd failed at something in his life. He blamed a strange combination of events, which caused what must have been temporary insanity (no other way to explain it), resulting in the marriage. He thanked his lucky stars it hadn't lasted very long and produced no children. He considered himself a good lover. He tried his best to please his Collette. True enough things weren't exactly as hot as they once had been. When they were first married they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Jack considered himself experienced enough when it came to sex, but then Collette came along. She'd done things to him he would have never considered were physically possible. Unfortunately they were both older now. Collette had turned 50 and he was 47. He hated to use the excuse "I'm getting old" but it was a physical reality. Things had cooled considerably and sometimes weeks went by before they both realized they hadn't had sex. The worst part was they didn't even miss it. They would give it a half-hearted attempt and do it, just so that weeks didn't become months. As for his first wife....well he didn't even want to go there. He shuddered at the thought. They hadn't even slept together on their wedding night. It was as if he had married a stranger. Jack cheated on his first wife. To this day, his first wife didn't know what he'd done. He'd confessed it to Collette during one of those conversations two people getting to know each other have when they compare their sexual experiences. He wasn't proud of what he had done but was grateful he'd never been caught. His divorce had nothing to do with the affair but what he'd done affected him profoundly. His mind flooded with shame when he remembered the high price the woman he'd had the affair with had paid. Her marriage failed and she'd never been the same again. It caused him great pain to know he had made another human being suffer so miserably. He was determined to never repeat that mistake again. Once divorced, he was unsure he would ever meet the "right one". Fortunately, God smiled on him and he quickly found Collette and married her. Collette was the love of his life. He tried to live his life in a manner that would make him worthy of her love. He'd learned a very painful lesson as a result of his first failed marriage and the affair. Yet here he was, contemplating the possibility of whether or not his much younger secretary was flirting with him via e-mail. One had to wonder. *********************** It all started with a purse. "A purse??" you may ask. "What do you mean a PURSE?!" Yes, yes, I know, it sounds absurd. "A purse is a "run of the mill" object. How could that possibly lead to anything?" Well believe me, it's true enough. What started out as your typical office crush, just your average pining for a gorgeous co-worker from afar, turned into something else. And it all started with a purse. You are right on one count though. What's more "run of the mill" than a purse? I mean, half the population on earth has one. They might not own a formal "purse" per say, but they have a bag or a container of some sort nonetheless. It could be a plastic grocery bag (Lord knows what to do with those things!), or a knapsack, or a satchel, or a handkerchief tied to the end of a stick, or even a lovely Lockit Horizontal (total classic!). What I mean is they all own "something" that keeps their stuff nicely contained. Yes, a purse is positively a must have item. My gosh, have you ever tried running through the jungle with your makeup, credit cards and other bits and pieces in your hands? Well rest assured, I can tell you, it's not very practical. Therefore, you absolutely need a lovely purse. A purse is typically an object of innocent beauty (the GLAMOROUS - so many outfits, such little time), of hope (you never quite know what you'll find inside), and of good memories ("Oh my God, your shoes and matching purse made you look so cute at your cousin's wedding!"). So all in all, I would have to respond with, "Of course a PURSE!!" The problem is.....well, in our sordid little tale it started with a purse and ended in misery. But more on that a little later..... A Snapshot of Jack's Life Ch. 03 She'd been hired as a legal secretary at Johnson, Smith & Donald, LLP, eight years ago. She'd worked in the intellectual property division for four years but had moved up to litigation a few years ago. From the moment she transferred into litigation, she knew she'd found her place. She loved her position and her boss. Actually, she loved her "bosses", all three of them. She was assigned to three partners at the firm. Most of her time was occupied working alongside Jeannette Donald, with whom she got along famously! They both had a passion for clothes, shoes, bags and other fun accessories. She loved the fact that she and Jeannette could discuss fashion, yet still get down to business, without the whole "you're just a dumb woman" routine you usually had to work through when your boss was a man. She occasionally assisted Kevin McCowan, primarily when he was handling a heavy case load. He was 34, a year younger than she was, recently married, and had a baby girl. Kevin had been the person who interviewed and hired her so many years ago. He later told her she had impressed him with her portfolio. He said that as soon as she pulled her portfolio out of her briefcase, he knew she was the one. He didn't even care what was inside, he knew he had to hire her. Last, but certainly not least, there was Jack Ford. Jack, Jack, Jack. What could she say about Jack? Well, he was tall (6' 3"), witty, a bit nerdy (which actually made him the more charming), had a big nose, and was totally gorgeous in her eyes! Her friends laughed at her when she explained what she found most attractive in the opposite sex. "They have to be tall and have a big nose" she explained. Her friends thought she was joking and then realized she wasn't. They loved teasing her about it. Whenever a man who was tall and had a big nose came into the room, they would all look at her with big foolish grins on their faces. She didn't mind. She knew what she liked. Jack fit the bill perfectly. He was most definitely tall and had a big nose. She hadn't always thought of him as totally gorgeous. Truth be told, when she first met him she thought he was positively ungodly. It took about a year (and him shaving off that hideous beard) for her to even notice that he was kind of cute. Her eyes now open, she quickly realized he had a wicked sense of humor, an intellect to die for, and a very nice ass. Yes, he was a walking cliché. Tall, she wouldn't even bother to look at men who were shorter, dark and handsome. One day it kind of just hit her and she developed an "office crush". "Hhhmm..." she thought to herself, "He's really cute." And so it began. The typical office crush is a harmless thing. It's almost a given as we spend quite a bit of time at work. We ultimately spend more waking hours with our co-workers than with our own family. At work, bonds develop, friendships are forged, memories created, marriages often unraveled. Jack's charm, wit and intellect were oh so appealing to her. She loved overhearing the witty banter between Jack and his colleagues. She loved seeing him come in every morning. Her ears perked up at the sound of his voice. She sincerely enjoyed her time in the office, working along side him. Not that he noticed her. Oh, don't get me wrong. He wasn't rude or uncivil to her. He was aloof, sometimes socially awkward, but was nothing but kind and sincere in the manner in which he treated her. Well, the manner in which he treated everyone. People would quite often think he was arrogant when they first met him. What they didn't know is Jack was actually a bit shy and insecure. He would often pass people in the hallways and not notice they'd said hello. He would continue on his way, without acknowledging the other person, without so much as a glance. People mistook this for arrogance and haughtiness on his part. They were wrong, for he was literally lost in his thoughts. Being anything but kind to others was abhorrent to him. The harmless office crush continued for weeks, which quickly turned into almost a year. It made the office environment interesting for her. She wasn't bold enough to do anything except drool over him, when he wasn't looking of course. She loved standing next to him. She felt absolutely petite next to him. "Big deal," you might think to yourself, "most women are petite next to men." What I forgot to mention is she wasn't like most women. She was a tall woman (5' 11"). Oh, and she was fat. We aren't talking "a bit heavy" or "pleasantly plump". She was obese (296 lbs). You can imagine she didn't often feel petite next to anyone, much less a man. People would always tell her, "Oh you have such a pretty face...." as their voices trailed off mid-sentence. You knew they wanted to finish their sentence with, "...too bad you're fat". Obviously most people aren't rude enough to say it out loud, but you could tell that's exactly what they wanted to say. She had always been a big girl growing up. She got bigger as the years went by and was positively obese by the time she was a senior in high school. She was lucky and found love and married the boy next door straight out of college. She loved her husband and soon they were blessed with two boys. She continued on her merry path, happy with her life, except for her weight, of course. One day she and her husband decided to buy a new home. They needed a bigger home as their boys were getting older and their happy family needed more space. The minute they walked into the home they ended up buying, they knew it was the right house. It was a charming one story ranch style home. The home had obviously been loved and cared for. The house looked as if it had been recently renovated. It had a lovely new kitchen, new floors and even had a huge new spa in the back yard. She wondered why someone would go to all the trouble of fixing up their home and then sell it. She found out soon enough. The realtor told her the previous owner of the home had recently died in a car crash. It often seems as if that's the way life works. One day, there you are, fixing up your lovely home, and the next day you're dead. The previous owner of the home left her house one sunny and bright afternoon and never came home. They found her car wrapped around a light pole, a mere 3 blocks from the lovely home she had been renovating. The woman's sister, who inherited the home and was selling it, said she never found out why her sister had crashed. No explanation, no reason, no sense, it just was what it was. The seller said it made her happy to know that a young family was going to move into her sister's old home, as her sister had always wanted to have children. That simple statement touched her heart in a way that nothing had in a long time. "How sad. How sad the lady had wanted children yet she was never blessed with any. How sad the woman made her home so lovely, yet she never got to enjoy it" she thought to herself. God has a way of causing change in our lives without being heavy handed about it. He doesn't always have to use thunder and lightning to get our attention. For whatever reason, God chose this simple statement of hope and loss to set her on a path that would profoundly change her life. She found the old newspaper article detailing the crash at the local library and read it. She copied it and would often pull it out and read it once more. She found the funeral home announcement describing the lady's life and journey, which had abruptly ended when the woman wrapped her car around the light pole. Every morning on her way to work, and every evening returning home, she would drive by the exact spot, the exact light pole where the woman's journey on Earth had come to an end. She always felt compelled to look at the spot each and every day. She pondered long and hard and often thought about the story that came with her new home. She began to examine her own life and goals. She began to wonder why she was allowing life to pass her by. She began to question why she'd never wanted better for herself. It finally dawned on her that by being so fat she was denying herself any sort of real happiness in life. It was then that she realized she had to change. No thunder or lighting was necessary. A Snapshot of Jack's Life Ch. 04 "Come on, come with me. I promise it won't take long. You know the Goodwill drop off is right next door. I'll run in and drop the clothes off and then we'll do lunch. We'll have Chinese, it's your favorite!" She'd been trying to convince Annie, her best friend at work, to go to lunch with her. She and Annie had been hired at the law firm within weeks of each other. They developed a bond at work that only two new, scared employees could establish. Annie replied, "You know I'm on a budget. Besides, you never eat your food. I don't know why you bother going to lunch. I just end up looking like a fat cow that eats all her food when I go to lunch with you." "I swear I'll eat everything on my plate. Cross my heart....." she placed her right hand on her heart and held up her left hand as if she was getting sworn in, "Come on, you'll feel bad if you stop me from taking my donation to those poor little orphans." Annie blew her bangs out of her eyes and sighed. "Last time I checked, those poor little orphans don't really need a Michael Kors wrap skirt, or a Lauren summer frock." "All right, all right, I'll admit the poor orphans don't give a shit about my clothes. But a fat lady somewhere in Orange County will definitely love me. You know I hate giving my clothes away but they just don't fit me anymore." She sat precariously on the edge of Annie's desk, her legs dangling. She looked down at her shoes. She was wearing her new jet black, four inch Jimmy Choo heels. Her left shoe was barely hanging on her foot by the tip of her French manicured toe. "Talk about being on a budget.....you try buying a whole new wardrobe every 3 months." She got up and picked up her shoe, which had finally fallen off and landed underneath Annie's desk. Annie rolled her eyes and mimed as if she was playing a violin. "Oh please! You expect me to feel sorry for you? I wish I had your problem." "No you don't Annie. You're not going to sit here and tell me you wish you had started out weighing as much as a killer whale and now don't. You're not going to tell me that you're glad you have to buy a new wardrobe every 3 months because you were such a fat ass to begin with and had so much weight to lose that you're dropping sizes quicker than you can blink. You're not going to tell me......" "Oh shut up!! Quit being dramatic. You never weighed as much as a killer whale. You may have weighed as much as an elephant seal perhaps, but definitely not a killer whale." Annie snickered. She sighed and looked at her friend and said, "Ha, ha, very funny Annie." Annie looked closely at her and said, "You know I love ya. Besides you look fabulous. Hey, how much weight have you lost??" "84 pounds, 5.6 ounces. But who's keeping track?" she responded. "WOW! Good job, that's got to feel good. I knew you'd lost a lot of weight but I never realized it was that much." Annie was glad her friend had lost weight. They were both about the same weight now, both "fluffy" as Annie loved to call it, but her friend had been much heavier than she ever had been. Unfortunately for Annie, she was also much shorter than her friend, so she now looked like the "fat" girl, not her friend. Annie hadn't always been heavy. She became heavy a few years back when she became ill. The therapy for her illness included steroids and various other medications. The weight kept piling on and piling on. Annie's doctors told her she would have to live with the weight gain if she wanted to get better. They offered to take her off the medication, if she chose, but they couldn't guarantee she wouldn't take a turn for the worse. She chose to feel better. Annie often regretted her decision. She thought she could handle the weight, but being fat was a hard thing to accept. Annie had been the quintessential wet dream in high school. She had been captain of the pep squad, a raven haired beauty with a petite frame, tiny waist, toned legs and F cup breasts topping off the whole package. Her creamy porcelain skin, full luscious lips, and big doe eyes drove many a boy to his room at night with a raging erection that would only subside after a long furious jack-off session. Annie had confessed to her friend that she was jealous of the weight loss. It took everything she had to finally admit it to her friend. She remembered a conversation they'd had when her friend first started to lose weight. "Why now? Why do you care about your weight now?" Her friend's answer had surprised her. "Well, I'm tired of being the fat ugly girl." "Come on, you know that's not true. You have a beautiful face. You're not ugly." Annie responded. "I know, I know I have a pretty face. That's exactly the problem. I'm tired of hearing that. It's as if people are insulted by my pretty face because I have a fat ass. As if being fat should exclude you from anything good. Quite frankly, I'm tired of people looking at me, but not really seeing me, especially men. It does something to me when I get the "look", as I call it." "What do you mean? What look?" "I don't know how to explain it....I guess it happens when men check out the women in the room. Men slowly scan the room, moving from face to face. If the face is interesting they stop and check out the body that goes with it. If the body is decent they move in quicker than you can blink. When it comes to me, men usually hesitate for a brief second on my face, as if they are confused by the fact I may be pretty but am fat. You can see them thinking – "Hhmm, interesting face, is fat, move on" and before you know it, they've glanced away because I'm not worth spending one more second on. Does that make sense? Not even a second. They don't care if I'm a good person inside, if I'm kind, smart or funny. All the things that people constantly tell me that I am. Well, men don't care about that. They want tits and ass, bottom line." Her friend continued, "Let me tell you why I want to lose weight. I want men to look at me with naked lust in their eyes, with I want to fuck you written all over their faces. I don't want to be the fat girl anymore. If they want tits and ass, well then I'm going to give it to them." Annie replied, "Quite frankly, I'm sorry you feel that way. You don't really know what you're saying. I can only say be careful what you wish for." "What's that supposed to mean?" her friend replied. Annie responded, "Look, don't you realize that all this attention you say you want will only cause trouble for you? I used to get the looks from men that you describe. It's not nice, it's not a nice at all. You don't get taken serious because al you are is a good piece of ass. Don't get upset when I say this but, uumm..... did you forget you're married? Why do you care if men look at you or not? Your husband loves you, doesn't he? And I assume you love your husband. What if you get tempted? What if one day one of those looks makes you think twice about the vows you made to your husband. I don't think you've thought this through. Why are you playing with fire? " "Oh Annie...Am I supposed to stay fat? Is that what you're saying? I should keep my protective fat shell on? I knew you wouldn't understand. You haven't been a fat ass your entire life like I have. It does something to you....." Annie said, "Now wait a minute...I'm not saying you need to stay fat. I'm just saying you're doing this for the wrong reason. You should be losing weight for your health, for your own happiness and self esteem. What I'm trying to make you understand is that your self worth doesn't come from others. It's something you give yourself. If you're looking to find it in someone else's I want to fuck you eyes you're never going to be happy. Ever." "Look Annie, I'm sorry you don't understand me. But I'm not going to stay fat to make you or anyone else happy." Their conversation started to get heated so they dropped the subject. Annie was glad she had worked her way through the whole "I'm so infatuated with myself stage" in high school. That's when it's supposed to happen. Her friend, on the other hand, was barely entering that stage, in her mid-thirties nonetheless. It seemed to Annie as if her friend spent a tremendous amount of time on her looks now. Her friend had always dressed nice, even when she was very heavy. She would mostly wear oxford shirts, jackets, slacks and loafers. As she had a beautiful face she had always taken great care with her makeup. Her friend had always worn her dark brown curly hair in the same hairstyle since she met her. Now when Annie looked at her friend, she hardly recognized her. She wasn't just referring to just the actual poundage her friend had lost. Her friend now wore her hair straight, and had changed the color to a light golden brown. She would wear dresses, skirts, tight clothes, and high heels. The transformation had been stunning, and worrisome. Vanity is not becoming in anyone. Annie and her friend frequented a local deli near work. One of the workers at the deli had the hots for Annie. He would always tell Annie how good she looked and how happy he was she had come in. She and her friend had recently gone into the deli and the worker now plainly ignored Annie and asked her about her friend! She never told her friend for fear it would cause her head to get even bigger. "Annie? ANNIE?? Hey are you listening to me?" She was brought out of her reverie. She looked at her friend and answered, "All right, all right, you win. I'll go to lunch with you. God I hate not having a backbone. You know, when they repossess my car I'll make sure to send you the bill." Her friend laughed and told Annie, "Great! Then I'll drive. I'll come back and get you at noon. Love ya sweetie!" She blew her an air kiss, waved goodbye and walked away towards her own office. Annie sighed and watched her friend walk out of her office. Her friend would never be considered skinny, but now she was voluptuous and curvy, not fat. Now that the layers of fat had been removed, her friend's gorgeous face got quite a few looks from men. She knew her friend was heading for a world of hurt and trouble. She hoped her friend would learn her lesson before she passed the point of no return. What scared Annie the most about her friend was a look she had recently seen on her face. Her friend had finally realized men were checking her out, were looking at her. The look she saw on her friends face was absolutely frightening. It was a look of entitlement, vanity, hate, and like a damn Cheshire cat who drank the cream, all rolled into one. It made her not like her friend very much. She didn't recognize who her friend had become. What Annie was referring to had nothing to do with looks. ***********************************