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A Misplaced Letter

By: intriguess



Miriam had been having trouble sleeping lately, it had been such a long time since she had shared her bed, and she felt as if she'd never share it again. Her work kept her busy, which was probably why she often used the image of her boss when she masturbated. Her lack of sleep was catching up; she tried many things from meditation to Yoga. 

Though when her Yoga teacher started hitting on her, she had been shocked at first. He had made it sound like a compliment that with her flexibility and his stamina would make for one hot weekend. She wasn't sure why the suggestion made her feel uncomfortable, after all they were both single healthy people. Her best friend, Linda an incurable gossip, suggested that it had been so long since she had been laid, that she had actually forgotten what it felt like. Miriam asked how she could prove it, and Linda had suggested she write a vivid letter entailing how it felt. So she had written the letter, it had been very therapeutic and reminded her of what she had been neglecting in her personal life. Yet the puzzle remained, she still wasn't the slightest bit interested in her Yoga instructor. He was tall, blonde, muscular, and all the women in her class drooled over him. There was something missing though, or maybe something was wrong with her. 

She finally realized she slept better during week, than on the lonely weekends. Miriam tried to chalk it up to being tired from long days at work, but the theory didn't quite fit. She shrugged it off not wanting to imagine it was because of the emptiness of her home. Pampering herself on weekends helped and she told herself over and over that she didn't need a man to make her feel sexy. She glanced at the letter, she had been thinking of her boss when she wrote it. Miriam respected his opinion and couldn't help but wonder what he'd think if he saw the letter. The thought making her blush as she slide the letter into her purse thinking she'd show it to Linda at their next lunch together. 

She put her purse on her desk and set to sorting through things. She grabbed her purse for lunch and was puzzled when she met Linda and couldn't find the letter. Searching her bag, she swore she had put it there this morning. Perhaps she had left it at work, she only hoped no one had seen it. Linda kidded her about forgetting letter, saying how convenient that was. Then Linda proceeded to joke about how hunky her boss was. Miriam shrugged it off saying she'd never noticed. When in fact every time he walked past her, her eyes were glued to his butt. Also that many weekends when relaxing in bath, she had envisioned him with her. 

Admitting such thoughts would not only be unprofessional but also ruin the fantasy. Mr. Curtis was devoted professional, keeping his personal and private life very separate. She had seen him cancel dates to work late nights. She tried to forget how she enjoyed working late nights, having him all to herself. He would never let himself completely go, to relax, and freely enjoy such activities. She would take nothing less from a lover, her lower lip jutted out and Linda asked what she had been thinking about. She glanced up and said she was only worried about work. Miriam hated lying but she couldn't let even a rumor of her fantasies about Mr. Curtis get out. The rest of lunch went peacefully with Linda making her promise that she'd bring letter next time. 

At the office, Mr. Curtis was trying to snag his mail while Miriam was at lunch. They worked together so often without words, it was as if she knew what he needed before he even knew it. He accidentally pulled extra papers off his secretary's desk. In his haste to get things back in order and not let her know what a klutz he was, he took the whole mess back to his office. As he sorted through the papers, a letter caught his eye. Slowly, he read it, being quickly drawn into the words of the writer. His eyes were unable to pull themselves away as he read and reread the erotic letter. His gaze finally dropping to the signature and his heart pounded in his ears. It was his secretary's name, and his entire body was hard with need. 

Meanwhile, outside his office, Miriam was frantically searching for a letter she'd written. She bit her lip and nearly jumped out of her skin when her boss called her into his office. Tension was so high; she didn't even notice that he had called her by her first name. She pulled on her black shoes the square heels giving her height nature hadn't. She needed to look professional for this job and five foot two with ample curves just wasn't in the job description. 

He cursed himself, why had he called her by her first name, now she would know something was wrong. Standing would only reveal that he had obviously read and enjoyed the letter, so he sat down. He saw her quietly opening door, her navy skirt brushing her knees as she walked. His gaze running from her strong legs, he could think of no other word to describe her shapely legs, his mind already picturing them wrapped around him in various ways. Running his fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes briefly trying to capture the image and ignore it at the same time.

"You called, Mr. Curtis?" she was slightly breathless, her chest rising and falling in an unladylike manner under the soft silk of her peach blouse. She was so worried; she didn't notice his gaze running up her body. Dark intense blue eyes rolling over her full hips, up past her heaving chest to rest on her face. 

Licking her lips only made her look more worried, he thought. The gesture was so innocent, yet seductive at the same time. He had never noticed how lovely she was, her soft brown hair framing her round face. Freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose. Dark violet glasses perched on top her nose, her soft brown eyes puzzled. He wondered briefly what it would take to make her eyes molten with desire. Douglas shook his head again wondering why he had been so blind before. It had probably been fact that she was good at her job and he hadn't wanted to lose her because of his stupid hormones. Now, it was a risk he felt needed more thought.

Crumpling the letter in one hand, he started to stand. The bulge in his pants made him pause and remain seated. He preferred to think on his feet; it helped him work things out. All he wanted to think of now was how he could sweep everything off his desk, seduce her and remain professional. Heck, he told himself, she had obviously had somebody. All these thoughts and more rushed through his head. "I found this among some of my papers" he smoothed the letter out. Phrases leapt out at him, the way she had described her own desires. Blinking he glanced up, both wanting to see her reaction and not willing to meet those lovely warm brown eyes. He felt himself drowning in them and quickly looked away. 

Miriam saw the letter and her face turned red, after all Mr. Curtis was a young virile man. Virile, she thought, where had that idea come from? She cared about what he thought and was hoping he'd offer more than an objective critic. Her eyes shyly took in his dark rumpled hair, the square shoulders, the narrow waist and hips. She bit her lip as she imagined him wanting her for more than office work. She noted the intensity of his gaze now and any courage she had vanished. Her small soft hand reaching out to take the sheet of paper. 

He looked at her fingers, the nails were neatly trimmed and well cared for. His mind seeing her caressing the soft silky skin between her legs. Damn it, he thought, I have no right to imagine her doing that, or half the things he had pictured. He chided himself inwardly, why was he tormenting himself this way? 

"Have you read it?" she was hopeful, perhaps no damage had been done. One instant later, she knew he had read it. After all that was his job, to read things and evaluate their merits. It was like a train wreck, you couldn't help but stop and watch it. Her emotions were at a perilous high as he spoke. 

"I couldn't stop," he told the truth, unable to lie his voice husky with need, her slight perfume driving him nuts. "It's quite good actually," he said turning his chair so he was looking out window. Douglas didn't want to see her shocked and dismayed expression that he had read her very personal letter. 

Miriam bit her lip, he had read it and hated it. Very nearly crying, she was losing touch, if she couldn't remember what it was like to make love. She could tell from the way he swung his chair around to avoid meeting her eyes. It tore at her heart hearing him soft pedal his dislike, the least he could do was come out and say it was garbage. 

"I'd like to see more of your writing." He was thinking, I'd like to see more of you, but had caught him at the last moment before he said. 

"I haven't written anything else," she whispered, snatching the letter up and leaving his office before she embarrassed herself any further. He had been placating her, trying to make her feel better even as he broke her heart. She looked at the letter with anger; she'd have to start looking for a new job. Since it was only a matter of time before he fired her. Miriam knew she shouldn't care so much about what he thought but couldn't help herself. Every time she closed her eyes she saw him sitting in that chair, facing away from her telling her what an idiot she was for trying to put in words the complexities of sexual pleasure. The whole afternoon stretched out before her. She knew he must be angry, or he would have come out to talk to her. It hurt her deeply, as they normally were constantly talking. He normally left the speaker phone on so they could talk together even when they were in different rooms. It was her favorite thing about her job was working with him. He had so much energy when it came to his job it was infectious. It was nearing five and she took the letter and glancing both ways, slide her skirt up and placed it into her stocking. They wouldn't be working late tonight, she bit her lip, and her whole world had changed for the worse because of one stupid letter. 

His blinds were closed but as five neared he found himself spying on her. Douglas ran his fingers through his hair as she tucked the letter into her stocking the sight burned in his mind. He didn't want to fire her, she was best secretary he had ever had. Efficient, thoughtful, not an aspiring writer or a flirt, they worked well together. She fueled him, keeping his mind on the task ahead. He slipped out after she had left trying to sort things out. It was not good for him to be fantasizing about her. He finally decided he'd sleep on it and think more about it tomorrow. 

She felt miserable on drive home, at least now she knew. She had lost touch; she couldn't remember what it was like to be make love. A tear rolled down her cheek, she bit her lip and pulled into parking garage of her small apartment building. 

Tomorrow was another day, she thought as she opened the door to her small apartment building. She had just installed a new movable massaging shower head. Miriam had been looking forward to using it all week. She started her bath, trying to cheer herself up with some lavender scented bath salts. She stripped slowly, critically looking at her naked body in the mirror. Running her hands down her sides, she felt the way her body curved from her ample chest to her waist them back out to her hips. After today's ordeal, she wasn't quite so sure about her body anymore. Seeing her body through a different light, she was far from the slender model, which seemed to monopolize media images. She sank into warm fragrant bath, the rejection of her boss still vivid in her mind. Inspecting her legs as she shaved, she felt every muscular curve. She didn't have the heart to play with her shower head, every time her fingers ran along her body she could see Mr. Curtis chastising her for her behavior. So she simply used it to rinse the shampoo out of her hair. Her body felt dead to her touch, as if every drop of sensuality had been poured into that letter. When Mr. Curtis had gently ripped her soul to shreds over that letter. Trying not to feel sorry for herself, she wrapped up in a fluffy towel and grabbed the newspaper. Scanning the want ads depressed her more, as she ate a lonely meal for one. At least tomorrow was Friday; she'd have all weekend to work on her resume. 

The next day, she was more miserable than ever, her heart was no longer in her work. Douglas watched her enter the office and frowned. Wearing a drab outfit, she looked wrong somehow, he pictured her wearing black silk lingerie underneath, but one look on her face told him differently. The image vanished easily as he inspected her expression. 

"What happened? Did your boyfriend dump you?" it sounded all wrong yet he couldn't say it any other way. She glanced up at him with such trusting eyes it was like a knife twisting in his back for all the things he had thought about doing with her. 

"I don't have a boyfriend," she said her voice trembling. Miriam was confronted by the very masculine body of her boss. She must look as bad as she felt. "I'll be fine," she added knowing damn well nothing would make her feel better. She wasn't desirable; she was a flake, the type of woman men pried off themselves when they woke up the next morning with a hangover. She winced at the image. 

Douglas saw her wince and in three long steps was next to her. Wanting to know what had troubled her so much, his hand cupped her chin. At first it had been reflexive gesture but now all he could think of was kissing those soft warm lips until she felt better. 

His eyes glinted with something she didn't recognize, but she had bad feeling about it in pit of her stomach. He was going to fire her, when she had come in and now he felt sorry for her. Well she wouldn't take anyone's pity. She straightened her back, took a step away, getting out of his grasp, and said in clipped tones, "Were you going to tell me something?" 

The transformation startled him; she went from wretched to icy in a blink of an eye. He took his hand and ran it through his slightly curly black hair. "About yesterday," he started out sitting on her desk. It had been long night even a cold shower hadn't quelled his thoughts of her, even now his body was responding to her simple presence. He tried to squelch the images that had been tumbling through his mind all morning and night. Only succeeding when he saw her pained expression. 

"Yes," she softly said, biting her lip, not wanting to hear what he was going to say but unable to turn away. Why did she have to care about what he thought of her? 

"Well," he tried to sort out what he was going to say, but her not having a boyfriend floored him. "That letter, who was it for then?" he finally asked. He needed to know before he said or did anything else. 

Mr. Curtis was dominating her desk. He was intimidating and comforting at the same time. She had the feeling that if she broke out in tears he'd take her in his arms and hold her. "No one, I was trying to prove that I remembered what it was like," she paused her voice filled with uncertainty, wondering why she was telling him now. He had read it and deemed it as unworthy, "and I obviously failed miserably." 

All he heard was that it had been a long time since she'd had a lover, his heart racing. He didn't want anyone competing with him in her life, therefore almost missed second half in his desire to have her. "What?" his voice was strange to his ears, a half growl of need. 

Eyes flashing at his intense question, "I don't know what you're asking for," Miriam softly said her heart pounding. 

"Fail?" he stood, forgetting that his body would betray his interest if she just would look. He stood a few inches away from her soft tempting body, "You succeeded my dear," the words flew from his lips naturally. "All too damn well, and you know it." He was angry with himself, how could she not see the effect the letter had had on him? Clenching his jaw, "There is no way you could write something like that and think that," he bit off the end of the sentence. Something else must be going on, for her to believe that. He couldn't take being so close to her and not touching her any longer. Storming into his office ready to tackle another day of work, Douglas knew there was nothing he could do now. He kept trying to convince himself that she was nothing special. Failing miserable in that, he sat in his chair, the words of her letter burned in his mind. He closed his eyes and let it wash over him.

'Dear,' it had started out; no name just a soft warm affectionate greeting. 'I was remembering the last time we laid together entangled in bed sheets after a long day and night of making love. I'm chuckling softly as I remember how we skipped dinner the night before, so hot for each other we didn't make it to ordering food. The drive back to our place seemed like an eternity. Then you just had to tease me, carrying me up the stairs, laying me softly on the bed and lighting the few candles I had in the room. The warmth of your body as you lay over me, our lips entwined one moment, the next your sly question of what I was wearing under my dress. I had chosen it specifically for you, every time I wear it now, I think of you and that night. The way your fingers were teasing, running up my leg, finding my garter belt, your eyes alive as they stroked upward. That sexy growling sound you made when you found out I hadn't worn panties. You told me what a naughty girl I had been, and if I expected to get away with it. I never knew how such words could stir my desire, but when you said naughty, I felt my body heat rise. You didn't expect an answer, but merely said that I'd have to keep my clothing on for a while longer. I recall my soft whimper, but I can't remember what I said as your hands held my knees. Feeling your fingers move upward again tracing light patterns on my inner thigh, I always loved it when you tease me. My pleas forgotten as your tongue traced those lines up my thigh, skipping over my hot wet need and moving down other thigh. Did I ever tell you that I get aroused just by watching your lips move? I think of you when I'm in bath or shower trying to duplicate the sensation of your teasing licks, the way you'd curl your tongue and slide it between my pussy lips. I'm getting very hot just writing about it so forgive any tremors in my handwriting. Your tongue, sliding in just tracing me, I was so wet by then. You weren't satisfied with that, you never were, always making me cum before ever stirring inside me.'

Douglas saw exactly how the handwriting drifted upward, letters growing more and more rounded until a point where the end of one word drifted across the page. He blinked staring down, his hand had slide inside his loose chinos. He guiltily pulled it out, even the memory of her words stirred a hunger deep inside him, and a hunger so strong he couldn't control it. Before, he had always been able to section aside his desires and get his work done. There was something different this time and he hated to think of anyone making her feel less than desirable. He pushed it to the back of his mind and focused on the workday ahead. It was Friday after all, perhaps, his mind drifted again. Fingers running again through his dark hair, standing up, he planted his hands on desk in front of him and took a couple of deep breaths. Perhaps what? he asked himself. Perhaps she'd go out with him, perhaps they'd never get to the restaurant, and perhaps he'd see the burning passion he knew rested inside her? The clock slowly moved, and he skipped lunch, with all his daydreaming he was half a day behind. 

Miriam was taken aback by his actions, was he serious? she wondered. He was an editor, not an actor, but then why hadn't he told her what he had liked and disliked? She had seen him reject many things and suddenly she wasn't so sure what he wanted. Falling into her chair, she started to work, scanning submissions, flagging the best along with her normal work. Her mind numbly doing the routine, unaware of how wrong she was in reading his response.


A Misplaced Letter



After lunch he gave himself a break and peaked out blinds. Damn it, she was best secretary he had ever worked with, but he couldn't work like this. She was maddening in her innocent modesty. Miriam O'Connell was the most difficult woman he had ever met, yet he still wanted her, and worse he wanted her to want him back just as much. 

He saw clock hit four and he stopped what he was doing. Douglas wanted time to sort things out, to figure out what was he was going to do now. Miriam had been nothing short of perfect, as a secretary, her interest in him was only as her boss. His thoughts troubled him; he had never had trouble gaining a woman's interest. Miriam was not however just any woman, he wasn't looking for one night fling. He needed her completely or not at all. His gusts twisted in knots as he imagined her seeing someone else. That would kill him; he couldn't keep working with her, regardless of the outcome. He'd see to it that she was transferred, that was least he could do, perhaps even a increase in pay, after all she deserved it. Douglas was never type of guy to waste time, and set about making the calls. This way her job security would never be in question when he asked her out. He'd never been so nervous in his life; he tried to remind himself that it was just a date. His palms were sweating as he walked out of his office seeing her facing computer, talking on the phone. He glanced at clock it was a quarter until five, who would be calling at this time? 

Miriam had thrown herself into her work, and when her cousin called she couldn't help but smile. Normally she wouldn't take a personal call at work, but she was so glad to hear a friendly voice. She had picked up the phone, Victor was rambling about his flight being overbooked and he was stuck overnight. He wondered if she'd like to get together for dinner. The sound of his friendly voice made her feel better and she agreed. "Sure Vic, I'll pick you up," were last words she said as a hand came down on the phone disconnecting her from Victor.

He hated eavesdropping but couldn't help but hear the warmth in her voice as she affectionately chattered away with someone named Vic. His courage failed him, balling his hands into fists he walked over and hung up the phone. 

"What, did you do that for?" her voice immediately fell and she felt as if she were being scolded all over again.

He regretted it instantly as her smile disappeared, the knot in his stomach grew. "I'm transferring you," she interrupted him before he could finish.

She stood up tears forming in her eyes, "Transferring? Haven't I been all you asked for? Efficient? Willing to work late hours? Professional?" She squeezed her eyes shut not wanting to let him see her cry.

"I want more," his voice was raw, as his fingers stroked her chin, raising those beautiful eyes to his. He was drowning in them and he no longer minded. 

"More?" her soft question nearly broke him then and there. It was neither time nor place to make love with her. 

"Much, much more, but let's start with dinner. Tonight?" his voice cracked as he felt her tremble under his touch. Could he be so lucky as to have the chance to gain her love? It was a hope he secretly harbored, even as he told himself it was impossible. She knew him too well from his work habits to his favorite cologne. She knew about how he treated the women in his life, how could she possibly want that?

"I have plans," the words fell from her lips like a bomb. She was stunned by his offer and confused and kicked herself for her cousin being in town for weekend. They had already made plans for dinner. 

He felt as if he had been kicked in stomach, was he so foolish to think he was first to want her, he had merely hoped he would be the last. "Forget it then, I'll see your belongings get transferred to your new position." He had to remain calm, or he'd pull his hair out.

At dinner she was gloomy again, especially after hearing of her transfer so abruptly. Mr. Curtis had been so mysterious about what he wanted. Then he dropped it as if nothing had ever happened, when she said she couldn't have dinner with him. Miriam picked at her food. Victor sensed something was wrong with his usually vibrant cousin. "Has your food done something wrong to you?" he smiled, trying to cheer her up. 

She gave a weak smile and replied, "I guess I'm just not hungry." 

"How about dessert?" he raised one eyebrow, trying to gauge how deeply her bad mood ran. 

She picked at her food more, trying to force herself to eat. When everything tasted like dust. Miriam rubbed the back of her neck and sighed, "Sure, I'm always up for something sweet," 

Victor motioned the waiter over and asked what pies were in season. Miriam partially listened, her conversation with Mr. Curtis still replaying in the back of her mind. "Pecan pie if you have it," she said, noting that she must have been staring at dessert menu for a while as silence had filled the air. 

He took the order and left. She pushed her remaining food around on her plate. Cleaning her fork off as her pie finally arrived. It was a sinful dessert, pure sugar. She glanced at it knowing she shouldn't use food to make her feel better, but shaking her head. At least she knew it wouldn't make her feel any worse. The first bit was decadent; it had been a long time since she'd gone out to a fancy restaurant to eat. Her job had left little free time to pursue such things. Since she probably got demoted to secretarial pool and got a cut in her wages she'd have more time to enjoy the finer things in life. 

"What's wrong?" his voice cut through her mental monologue. Glancing up from her pie, she saw him looking at her. 

"Nothing, well, okay. I just got transferred with no warning and no real reason. I just feel as if someone pulled the rug from under me." The pie was delicious and enjoying it reminded her that there were other things in life besides Mr. D. Curtis worth enjoying. 

"No reason?" he pressed sensing her hesitation. 

"Well, he just said he wanted more from me, but never really specified what he meant." Suddenly the conversation looked different to her and she felt sick to her stomach. What if he had meant that he wanted her for his sexual plaything, just a toy to use when nights were long and it was convenient. Her respect for him lowered a notch and she tried not to think of that possibility. 

"More? Don't you already work 50-80 hours a week? What does he want? Your weekends and your first born son?" He had tried to seem joking, but by the way she nervously glanced at him and when she licked her lips he knew he had hit a nerve. 

"I guess he just wasn't happy with the quality of my work. All I know is come Monday I'll be at a new desk, with a new boss, and undoubtedly a smaller paycheck." She took the last bit of pie, trying to forget about Mr. Curtis. After all it wasn't as if they had even been on a first name basis. 

"He's an idiot, I'd like to give him a piece of my mind." 

She glanced at him, "Come on Victor, how often do I get to see you and have you stay at my place? Please just let me enjoy it," she changed the subject. 

It was a quiet drive home with her cousin in tow. She almost hoped Mr. Curtis had tracked her down and wanted to talk to her about why he transferred her, but she had no such luck. Her apartment was empty, as Vic hit the shower. She checked her answering machine. No new messages, she frowned, she couldn't believe that the last year of working with Mr. Curtis had meant nothing to him. It was as if he had, in one day, negated a whole year of her life. She pulled out the sofa bed for Victor and tried to sort things out in her head. He came out of bathroom, and she told him that she just wanted to curl up with a good book and get some sleep. After all she had to be up early for yoga classes. That he should feel free to help himself to the contents of her refrigerator. 

Victor settled in for night, hoping things worked out for his cousin, not waking to hear her slip out early next morning. 

She barely slept, tossing and turning most of night; she woke up at crack of dawn. First taking a quick shower and decided to go for a jog. She tried to sort things out, but ended up just as confused as before. Taking a quick shower at the gym, before changing into a black leotard, then thinking of how her yoga instructor ogles her, she threw on pair of sweat pants and tank top over it. 

She headed to class thinking if she ever needed inner peace now was the time. Miriam was so intent on relaxing she didn't realize class had dissipated while she was still stretching afterwards. Her instructor approached her with a disgusting smile on his face. She groaned, why oh why did the man she wasn't interested in want her and the man she wanted had fired her. Blinking, did she really want Mr. Curtis? Or did she merely want him to want her? The thoughts raced in her mind, as she stood almost lightheaded as she realized she wanted both. 

She was busy fending herself off from her yoga instructor, Lars at same time her cousin was being rudely awakened. 

The knocking on door was too loud to ignore, so Victor got up. It was nearly ten; he hadn't realized he was so tired. He glanced over at bedroom, looked like Miriam was already up and about, she had said something about yoga, and maybe she forgot her key. He was just wearing pair of sweat pants as he strode to the door. Unbolting it and opening it as quickly as he could, finding a man on other side. Whoever he was he didn't look happy to see Victor. 

Douglas hadn't slept much the night before which had left him tired and frustrated. He kept seeing Miriam eating dinner with a faceless man. Since he knew Miriam's phone number, looking up her address was easy enough. The last thing he expected was for a guy to open the door half dressed. 

"Where is she?" the question was barked as Douglas glanced at the man in front of him. He was about five foot eight, reddish hair freckles and looked as if he'd just gotten out of bed. 

Victor had no idea who this guy was, why he was here, and was still trying to wake up. "Miriam?" he asked thinking this guy must have the wrong apartment. 

"Who else? Of course Ms. O'Connell," he hated the way this guy said her name with such familiarity. 

"She's not here right now. Hey you're Curtis right?" it finally clicked. Miriam had described him exactly, from his jet black curly hair, to intense stormy blue eyes, and towering six feet plus in height. Right now Victor just wanted to slam the door in this guy's face and make sure Miriam never knew he had been there. 

"Mr. Curtis," he stifled his anger, he wanted to kill this guy for spending the night with Miriam. He blanked out the images that threatened to overload his sanity. "Never mind, I'll catch her at work then." He turned suddenly and stomped off. He never should have came to her place. He was just asking for pain. Douglas sat in his car for a while trying to calm down. He couldn't get her out of his mind, and the thought of her with someone else made him angry. Angry with himself for not realizing sooner how great she was both at work and when he had been stressed and she rubbed his back. Promising to himself that he'd put her behind him, he shook his head, turned his car on, and drove home.

"Lars, I'm really not interested," she said for tenth time picking up her towel and slinging it over her shoulder. All the tension that had finally dissipated during workout was suddenly overwhelming her. 

His hand was on her arm, and she reacted instantly flipping him over onto mat. She had never been mugged but she had taken self defense classes when she moved to city, partly because she enjoyed her independence and partly to shed the last few pounds that were reminder of her last failed relationship. She had succeeded packing a lot of force into her five foot two inch frame. 

He smiled, "So you like to be on top?" She let go with disgust; everything was about sex to this man. Miriam knew he had bedded half the females in the class already. It was only her resistance that made him pursue her. 

"I'm seeing someone," she softly whispered wishing it were true with all her heart, seeing the dark rumpled hair and blue eyes flash before her. "I'd better get home before he misses me." She thought of her cousin as she left, forgoing the shower. It would have to wait until she got home. 

She opened her door to a delicious smell; not noticing the door was already unlocked. Victor was in her kitchenette making omelets. "That looks great," her stomach rumbled she had barely eaten this morning and it was catching up to her. 

"I made enough for you," he smiled seeing sadness lurking in her eyes. 

"I'm just going to clean up. Give me ten minutes." She went into bathroom and took a quickie shower trying to rinse away the pain and memories. Sliding into her clothes, she padded out to living area. 

"You're quite the surprise this weekend, so when do you have to be back at the airport?" she asked digging into her food with a gusto Victor was glad to see. 

"Two o'clock," he mumbled with his mouth full, glad she hadn't been here when Mr. Curtis had shown up. 

She continued eating, perhaps having Victor around today wasn't that bad. "Wish you were able to stay longer," she said before reaching for a glass of orange juice. 

"Me too," he said as he was trying to eat toast and talk at same time. 

She laughed at his antics, "Did you sleep well?" buttering her toast as she talked.

"Like a baby," he saw the smile, and was glad she was finally feeling better. 

"You snored like one too," she giggled, "I was going to record it but didn't want to wake you."

"Do not," he said pouting, and then smiled, this was the Miriam he remembered, always able to sound serious and make a joke at same time. The day sped past as she enjoyed his company. Driving to the airport she realized how much she missed a man's company even if it was just her cousin. 

Sunday morning she woke up feeling sick, she ran to bathroom and began emptying what was left in her stomach. It seemed like an eternity passed while she was hung over the toilet. She looked at herself in mirror, God she looked like hell she thought. Miriam wondered what was going on, she wasn't hung over, she couldn't be pregnant, and so something else must be wrong. She managed to make it to the phone and called her doctor. Never having been sick a day in her life she was worried. Miriam called into work the next day, she still felt like hell. She barely dragged herself to the doctor's office and his diagnosis stunned her.

"Stress, Ms. O'Connell, there's nothing physically wrong with you. I can prescribe something to help you sleep and to calm your stomach. That's it, I suggest lot's of rest, take a vacation, take long baths, something, anything and soon." She took the news well considering she hadn't eaten since Saturday night. 

Once at home, she called work and took the week off. She took time to change her answering machine message and went back to sleep. By Wednesday, she almost felt human again, she managed to stomach some mild soup, but every muscle in her body ached. 

Douglas was nervous; he hadn't heard anything about Ms. O'Connell. He had been tense all week, the temp was completely incompetent, and he missed Miriam terribly. He called Jordan the man she was working for now, when he told him that she was using sick leave, Douglas cursed himself for not checking up on her sooner. Dialing her home he heard her raspy voice pick up and starting talking. Then he realized he had poured his heart out to damn answering machine when the beep went off. He slammed down phone wondering if Vic was taking good care of her. He left his office with no explanation, as flower shop loomed in his vision he decided to stop. He had never bought flowers; Miriam had always taken care of that sort of thing for him. It was funny his friends said he was a whiz at breaking up, he was so good the women felt better after he dumped them. He hadn't thought it was Miriam's touch with flowers, until now. Douglas was at a loss; roses were too romantic, tulips trite, daffodils? He searched through flowers, wasting precious time. When the florist suggested carnations he nodded. What was her favorite color? He wracked his mind. Finally settling on pure white with red edges. Time seemed to slow down as he drove to her place. Taking the stairs three at a time unwilling to wait for an elevator. He was breathless as he stood in front of her door. Running his fingers through his thick black hair, trying to sort out his thoughts and feelings, he knocked on door. 

She was just beginning to feel better. Miriam had managed to hold breakfast down and now was soaking in a decadent bath. Relaxing, still feeling weak and somewhat tired. Sleep had become more elusive than ever, as she was either hungry, thirsty, throwing up, or going to bathroom. 

The knock on the door disturbed her brief moment peace. At first she ignored it, after all who even knew she was home? 

He was getting worried, she wasn't answering door. Was she passed out on floor unable to move? His mind was filled with such thoughts as he considered breaking down the damn door. 

They knocking continued getting louder and she slowly rose from water. Taking unsteady steps before wrapping herself up in nearest towel. "I'm coming," she softly rasped, her voice still recovering. She stood in front of door feeling slightly off kilter. "Who is it?" she asked her voice barely above a whisper.

"It's Douglas," he muttered, she sounded odd to him. He felt foolish standing in front of a closed door holding a dozen carnations. 

She was puzzled, as she didn't know anyone named Douglas, even though the voice sounded familiar. "Who?" she asked trying to figure out the voice.

"Douglas Curtis," he almost crushed the flowers in his hand. 

"Mr. Curtis?" her voice softly broke through she slowly opened door seeing him. "Please, come in," she forgot she was wearing only a towel as she let him in. His eyes nearly dropped out of his sockets as he saw her garbed only in a thin little towel. Only then did she feel his eyes upon her and realize how inappropriately she was dressed. "I'll go put something on," her voice still soft as she moved to her bedroom. 

Her face felt hot, what was she thinking? Inviting him in when she wasn't properly dressed. Miriam still wasn't feeling one hundred percent. She slide towel off and pulled a simple T-shirt on not wanting to bother with a bra. Miriam slide on a pair of panties and sweat pants. Ugh, she thought what did he want now? She tried to collect her thoughts as she went back into living area. He was pacing with a dozen flowers in his hand. 

"Can I help you with something?" 

He glanced at her seeing her clothed, his eyes lingering on her hanging breasts. "These are for you," he thrust the flowers forward. 

It took a while for her to comprehend his words, and then carefully took the bouquet. She moved to kitchenette and found a vase, filled it with water and looked back at him. He seemed to be staring at her as if seeing her for the first time. 

"I was wondering how you were feeling," he asked looking around feeling very foolish.

"Better, I'll probably make it in for work tomorrow." She felt ill at ease; Mr. Curtis was sitting on her couch in her home. What did he want and why did he bring flowers? Miriam was still puzzling it out when he stood and moved towards her.

"Where's Vic?" the name was enunciated and clipped.

She felt even more confused, "He left Saturday afternoon. Why?" she said turning to fridge. Getting herself something to drink. Anything that would soothe her throat and give her excuse to not look into his intense blue eyes.

Douglas ran his fingers through his hair and took a ragged breath. "When will he be back?" he questioned not wanting to be interrupted once he started.




A Misplaced Letter



"I don't know. It was pure chance my cousin's flight was overbooked in first place." She had no idea what was going on. Why Mr. Curtis was here, she still couldn't bring herself to call him Douglas, and what he wanted were still a mystery.

"Cousin?" his entire body leapt at the word, grasping as if for his very sanity.

"Yes, my cousin Victor. He travels a lot, I'm sure I've mentioned him," she trailed off taking sip of apple juice.

He only dimly recalled her mentioning anything about her family, as he shook his head. Why hadn't he paid more attention? How could he have been so blind? Douglas controlled the urge to wrap his arms around her and kiss her. After all she hadn't been feeling well, and he wouldn't take advantage of her weakened state. She did look weak, dark rings under her eyes and a paleness that was unnatural. 

Her knees went weak, her stomach rolled. Damn it she thought not now, not here in front of her boss. She tried to hold herself up with her arms. 

He noticed her fingers were chalky white on the counter and moved around it. Seeing her knees buckling, he wrapped his arms around her to help her stand. Her face looked pale and drawn. Douglas watched as she turned her head towards sink and emptied her stomach. Normally he'd be revolted, but all he felt was concern. 

She felt so embarrassed, after throwing up, she grabbed a paper towel and wiped her mouth. Not that she ever dreamed he would find her attractive, but now there was no hope. 

He picked her up like a child and carried her to bedroom. Without any sexual thoughts in mind, he laid Miriam on her bed she lay on her side. He wasn't sure what to do now but sat on edge of bed and began rubbing her back. 

She closed her eyes unable to believe what she was feeling, his large warm hands rubbing in circles on her back. Rolling to lay on her stomach, she thought she must be dreaming. She figured she was still in bathtub asleep having a sexual dream. 

He felt her move and thought she was pulling away until she lay on her front. He continued with the back rub, feeling clearly that she wasn't wearing a bra, as he had thought. It didn't distract him as it once might have. Only when he heard her breath even out to peaceful sleep did he become aware of where he was. Douglas didn't want to leave her alone, so he quietly moved to kitchenette. Rinsing out the sink and doing dishes, he felt oddly comfortable doing the domestic chores. 

She wasn't sure how long she slept only that when she woke up, it was already dark. It had been three or so in afternoon when Douglas had arrived. "Douglas," she mused out loud, the name suited him.

He had stayed and upon hearing his name he rushed to bedroom, it was past eight. Unsure of what to say he stood there for moment, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence. Miriam slowly sat up rubbing her tired eyes, hands searching for her glasses. He picked up her glasses and handed them to her. She blinked as if she had hoped he had left.

She sat up in bed glancing up at him, feeling embarrassed about throwing up. At the same time, she wondered why he had stayed and what to do now. Miriam was hungry and wanted to curl up with him under the sheets and fall back to sleep at the same time. Standing up, she wondered how awful she looked. 

He reached out a hand to steady her. Miriam finally had some color back in her face, but her silence made him nervous. 

She felt his hand and pulled back. Her head suddenly pounding, "I need some ibuprofen. I guess I was early in my assumption that I could eat soup." The simple statement broke the tension and she flicked on a lamp. She figured she looked a wreck, yet he had stayed. Wearing the same loose clothing, her breasts moving freely as she went to bathroom. 

Douglas watched her closely as she moved to bathroom. She took a bottle from behind the mirror. Taking two pills out, she placed them in her lips. Then turned the water on and scooped up a handful and drank. Even as he worried about her health he considered the gesture erotic. 

"Food," she murmured. Then turning to him she continued, "Douglas, why are you still here?" Miriam had hoped he was delusion. The intent look on his face was all too real. 

"I couldn't leave you," he softly said his voice rough with emotion. He reached out and smoothed her hair back from her face. Moving from his position, he stopped blocking the door. He inwardly groaned as she brushed past him, the short contact electric. 

She moved to kitchen trying to ignore him. Opening the fridge, she saw very little and nothing remotely edible. 

He was like a shadow standing behind her. It was all he could do to keep himself from sliding his hands around her waist and whispering in her ear. 

"I'm fine, you can go now," Miriam wasn't sure how she managed to sound so cold when her entire body was so hot. She wondered if this was another psychosomatic symptom. Turning around too quickly, she found herself pressed against his body. She couldn't step back and the look in his eyes made her unable to turn away. Her breath was caught in her throat and skin flushed, as she remained trapped like a deer caught in the headlights. 

To him, she looked as if she'd faint at any moment, "You need something to eat. I'll order something in." His hand went to her waist to help steady her again. 

She imagined his large hand sliding under her shirt. "You don't need to go to the trouble, I'll be fine." 

He placed his other hand on her cheek, "You're burning up." Without pausing, he picked her up and shut the fridge with his foot. Carrying her back to the bathroom, he felt as if the meaning of life had been made clear. 

"Put me down," she knew why she was hot and it wasn't a fever. There was no cure for it and why was he acting like he cared suddenly? 

He heard the anger in her tone and slowly put her down. She looked up at him and he saw something strange flashing in her eyes. 

Damn it, she thought, why does he have to be so sexy? "The doctor said I just need some rest and No Stress." She emphasized the last two words, as his very being was the main source of all her stress. 

He opened his lips, but no words would come out. "I'm sorry," he finally managed to say. He moved around behind her, placing his hands on her hips began to rub her back under her loose shirt. It was odd; normally she was fully clothed and tired when he had given her a back rub. This was somehow very different; as his fingers slide on her bare skin feeling her relax almost magically. 

When she felt his fingers sliding under her shirt, it felt like a dream. She pulled her shirt over her head. All symptoms had faded away, even her headache, a new ache for him had replaced it. 

He was so intent on rubbing her back that he had closed his eyes. When he heard her pulling the shirt over her head, his eyes opened and her head turned towards him. Then her shoulders until she was facing him. He was stunned, his hands had slide along her waist and remained on her back. 

She didn't know what to say, after all this was her dream. Her fingers moved up, undoing the buttons on his business shirt. Seeing his jacket slung over sofa, it seemed normal for him to be there, in her apartment. 

The silence made the whole thing seem surreal as he watched her deft fingers undo his shirt his arms dropping to sides so she could slide it off his shoulders. "Miriam," he hated breaking the silence, but if she really wasn't feeling well then it could be medication making her act this way. 

He said her name, she ignored it her fingers sliding over his chest admiring the warm skin. Her fingers circling, sliding, exploring, just letting herself revel in every sensation. 

"Miriam," she didn't seem to hear him the first time, and now he was sure it was medication affecting her behavior. 

"Hmm?" it was a dreamy questioning tone as she looked up. Something was wrong he should look amorous. Then she blinked and realized she wasn't dreaming. That she had just made an utter fool of herself. Her hands drew back as if she had been playing with fire. 

Her horrified expression, as her hands covered her breasts told him he was right. Every inch of his body wanted to continue yet his brain reminded him that she was unwilling. He picked up his shirt and wrapped it around her shoulders. The look in her eyes, it cut him to pieces, he was just glad he had stopped. Even as a tiny voice inside his head asked what would have happened if he hadn't. 

"I'm so sorry. I, I," she stammered unable to believe she had behaved in such a manner. Her body asking what would she have ended up doing if he hadn't stopped her? 

He drew a ragged breath, "Don't be," he was supposed to be helping her relax not adding to the tension. "Why don't you get dressed and we'll get something to eat?" He felt as nervous as a teenager, asking a girl out on that all crucial first date. His palms were sweating and he withdrew them from her body. 

"Okay," she sounded so small and insignificant. As she retreated to her bedroom, all she could think of was his bare chest. Miriam saw herself in the mirror, wearing loose navy drawstring sweat pants and a very male white shirt draped over her, her nipples dark and hard. What must he think of me seeing me like this, she thought. Taking a slow deep breath, she turned from the mirror and slipped his shirt off. 

Wondering what she was thinking, and who she had thought he was when she had ran her fingers over his skin. The memory made him look down. He adjusted his pants, hoping his erection wasn't too obvious and patiently waited. 

She pulled on a bra and slide off the sweat pants, another glance in mirror reminded her of the softness of her body. A tear trailed down her cheek, Douglas was just being nice, she told herself as she pulled on a favorite pair of jeans. Before she had always thought they were sexy, now she didn't care. It was a cold day, so she pulled on large sweater that concealed her body. Miriam ran her fingers through her tangle of hair and took a few extra minutes to comb the waist length brown tresses. She took a moment to braid it as she opened door. He was sitting there on arm of sofa like a shirtless Adonis. She licked her lips, she had forgotten about his shirt. She glanced at clock it was nearly nine now, at least restaurants would be deserted. He wouldn't have to be seen with her as she looked now.

He glanced up as he heard the door open. She looked good, too good, he mused. Damn it, he thought, why was it all he could think of was the way her body had felt pressed to his, the way her fingers had touched him burned in his mind. The way her jeans clung to her full hips and well muscled legs. How the soft sweater draped over her full breasts just hinting at the treasure lying under it. 

"Your shirt," she softly said her mind still on how close she had come to kissing him. She retrieved it quietly, the mirror reflecting her image. Tired, frumpy, plain, dull, and unattractive all leapt to her mind. No, wonder he had stopped her, what man in his right mind could desire her? 

Something had changed by time she returned. Her eyes had lost a brightness, a confidence, he wasn't sure what. He took the shirt and quickly put it on feeling ashamed that he had let it go so far in first place. He did it to fast buttoning up the wrong way having an extra button on top. 

"Let me," the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them as she moved forward undoing the buttons again. Slowly redoing them, trying to ignore the part of her that wanted to feel his bare skin against hers. 

He was nervous and fumbling the buttons was so idiotic. He couldn't stop her as she redid his shirt, the gesture was intimate. He couldn't help but imagine she felt same way. He dismissed the thought; she merely wanted something to eat. Miriam had always made sure his tie was correct before and he had never considered the closeness of her body then. Looking back he wondered how many times he had ruined an opportunity to kiss her. 

She was so intent on not screwing up that she missed the look on his face. The look a man has the instant he realizes that what he wants is right in front of him and that he has messed up a million chances to have it and now may be too late. 

He almost kissed her then, but she pulled back saying, "Done, I'm starving, let's eat." 

Her words broke into his thoughts as he grabbed his coat and headed to door. At first he wanted to go somewhere nice, but then he thought she would think it was a date. Miriam had already rejected him too many times physically for him to feel comfortable risking himself again so soon. 

All she wanted right now was to be left alone with a juicy cheeseburger. Unless she had option of using his washboard stomach as a plate. She caught herself blushing as the headed down the flights of stairs. Miriam headed to her car, he to his and glancing at each other, she very nearly laughed. 

"You drive, I'll pick the restaurant." He jingled his keys, as she walked towards him in silent agreement. She was somewhat nervous about getting in his car, but it wasn't like he was going to whisk her off to some secluded cabin and ravish her. Miriam looked out window hiding her red face from thinking of being ravished.

"So, where are we going?" he finally asked as he maneuvered his sleek black car out of parking space. 

"How about Wendy's? I just feel like a frosty and a greasy cheeseburger." 

He glanced at her, it was so strange to her a woman declare her desire to eat something fattening. Then again, he realized women probably only ate salads on dates to make them appear delicate. Douglas was glad they had always been real around each other. Then again now they were acting like strangers.

They zipped into parking lot and she murmured, "Can we use the drive up window? I don't feel like dealing with people tonight." 

It was a simple enough request, but felt like a slap on the face calling him an unwelcome intrusion. His mood had certainly changed from the angry but concerned about her health that had brought him to her in first place. Now he just felt lost, "What do you want?" his mind silently wanted her to say she wanted him, but that was wishful thinking. 

"Ummm," she licked her lips, leaning over to see menu, "a number four and a small frosty." 

He watched her lick her lips and was reminded of why he couldn't work with her, yet couldn't work without her either. He barely heard the speaker ask him what he wanted. "Two number fours and a small frosty," he said his voice spiking and hitting hit note in middle. 

The speaker repeated order, gave him a total and he drove around feeling like a complete idiot since his voice had cracked. 

Miriam smiled, trying to figure out why he was nervous. She had brought her purse along and dug out a ten dollar bill to pay for food. 

He waved off the ten dollar bill, not feeling confident in his voice's ability to stay even as he paid for food, and handed her the bag and took the drinks. 

Miriam decided the frosty was best thing to start with and began eating the smooth chocolate ice cream with no difficulty. The chill felt good on her throat and she was content with being quiet. When they pulled back into parking spot she found herself thinking of how she never got to make out in a car as a teenager. 

She unbuckled herself and reached for her fries just as his hand went into bag. "Feeling better?" Douglas finally asked as he pulled his hand back. Damn it, he cursed himself, why did he feel as if he were walking on eggshells suddenly? 

"The queasiness has passed, I'm ready to move on to french fries." She smiled, if only, she thought, this were a real date. "Thanks for the meal. I guess I'll see you around." She removed her sandwich and fry box and juggling the two with her drink tried to open the car door.

"Let me," he said looking for any excuse to move. Taking her food putting it back in bag, he carried it out of car and moved around to open her car door. 

"Thanks," the air was silent for awkward moment. "Would you like to come up to my place to eat?" her voice sounded strained to her ears. This wasn't a date she reminded herself. If it was a good night kiss would be required, and Douglas definitely didn't want to kiss her. 

The trek up the stairs was filled with polite talk; she was only half listening as he mentioned he had missed her this week. Now faced with her door she replied, "You are the one who transferred me." Miriam had been going to add on, but she didn't have the strength to argue. Being around Mr. Curtis was draining her and she wished he would go, or say anything that made sense. Sitting down on the couch she asked for her food, as she set both drinks down on coffee table. He put food on table, removed his jacket, and sat down. 

The silence was unnerving, and all because of one misplaced letter. His mind instantly recalled the words, no matter how much he tried to block them out. Debating between silently munching his French fries, or trying to do what he had meant to do in the first place that day in office, when he had found her on the phone. He kept struggling as he watched her eat, mesmerized by how her lips moved. 

"Your food is getting cold," she broke into his thoughts. She had finished her fries and was unwrapping her sandwich. Thinking that if he waited for the right moment, he would always be waiting. He opened his sandwich eating to avoid saying something stupid again. 

She felt much better after eating; her eyes on his face watching him eat. Miriam tried to rationalize, that it was better that she wasn't working with him anymore. Her fantasies about him weren't conducive to a good working environment. That she had spent too much time alone with him and it was only natural that he became the focus of her fantasies. 

She stood up rubbing her forehead, she was over thinking things. Another headache had emerged and she went to get some ibuprofen. 

Douglas watched her get up, and was about to say something when he noticed she was rubbing her forehead. He had planned on spilling his guts after they finished eating, but now looked like a bad time. 

She took the two pills, returned for her drink and washed them down. All she could think of was another nice warm bath and a good night's sleep. "Thanks Mr. Curtis," she couldn't bring herself to call him Douglas. "I should be back to work tomorrow," not that he cared; she couldn't even recall why he was here in the first place. The entire night had seemed like a string of barely connected events.

He didn't want to leave, but she was practically showing him the door. Douglas decided there was always tomorrow. He gathered his coat and went to door. She was standing next to it and opened it for him. Miriam looked worried, he leaned over a little bit took a deep breath and brushed his lips across hers. He swept out door murmuring, "See you tomorrow then." 

She stood completely still, shocked her lips still tingling, had she imagined the kiss? Or had it been real? Her fingers traced her lips trying to decide. She closed the door and put it out of her mind so she could get some much needed rest. 

His heart was still pounding as he sat in his car, staring at his steering wheel. What had he been thinking? What was she thinking now? What would happen if he saw her tomorrow? At least he had kissed her, he mused, and her lips had been softer than he dreamed. The look on her face was priceless; it made him wonder how her face looked at other times. Shaking his head, he started car determined not to get too far ahead of himself. After all, it was just a kiss. 

She drew herself a bubble bath, and sank into the warm water. Her aches were soothed and she remembered a particularly intimate back rub. Had it been Douglas, in her thoughts she was brave enough to call him by name. The day had been so very odd; she decided it was best to look at it with a fresh mind. 




A Misplaced Letter



Later just before sliding into sheets, she wondered what Mr. Curtis was doing. She smiled imagining him clad in boxers sliding into his own bed. The image was nice but she wished he were sliding into bed with her instead.

The next morning Miriam felt refreshed, she took special care in her appearance, wearing dark violet skirt that flared to just past her knees. She spun watching skirt spin outward in circle smiling for once. She finished dressing and glancing in mirror decided to put on some lip gloss and dab some perfume on. Eating a quick breakfast and before going to work. She nearly skipped down the hall halfway to her old desk before she recalled that she had been transferred and turned around her eyes slightly downcast. Running into someone, she apologized before looking up. 

He had a terrible morning, all night he had tossed and turned seeing her reject him every time he closed his eyes. His clothes were rumpled and he hadn't bothered to shave. When he saw her turn, he was surprised she was there. When she ran into him and apologized he seized the moment. 

"We need to talk," she heard him say, looking as if he hadn't slept. Her fingers slide up to his forehead, noticing the feel of stubble as her hand rubbed his cheek. 

"You're hot." 

The words sounded odd to him at first, then realizing she didn't mean it sexually he replied, "I think I must have caught what you had." 

"Stress?" she asked fingers still on his forehead. 

He wasn't sure what she meant all he knew was that he couldn't let her slip out of his fingers yet again, "Let's continue this in my office." His hand went to her back and they went through outer office. She bit her lip, seeing the perky blonde, thin modelesque women sitting there. "Hold all my calls, I don't want to be interrupted" 

He opened the door as she went in; it felt the same as last time. Hard to believe it was less than a week ago that her world had changed. 

"Sit," he asked, slumping into his chair. Trying to figure out the right words, she cautiously perched in chair feeling nervous and tense once again. 

Silence descended upon the room, when his secretary buzzed him. He gritted his teeth, "Yes, Samantha?" he said between clenched teeth. 

"Your morning appointment is here Mr. Douglas." 

She hated how his new secretary called him by his first name. Miriam stood and said, "I'd better leave then," 

"Dinner?" he asked wanting to pin down a time to see her again. 

"Sure," she wasn't able to say no. 

"I'll pick you up after work." He was relieved and thinking it was going to be a long day. 

"I'll see you then," she rushed out of his office and sped down to her new desk. She took morning to sort through the backlog got a quick bit to eat for lunch and then resumed her work. It was challenging, it was less complex in the sense that she didn't have to set up appointments and take phone calls. She was just doing research and compiling information about her new boss's clients, evidently her skills at creating an effective database had spread and she was enjoying the task. Time flew by and her new boss had to cough softly to gain her attention. 

Douglas stood in doorway watching her work. He saw Jordan leaving his office and walking towards them.

"It's nearly six," Jordan broke her concentration. 

She glanced up and smiled, "I'm just trying to catch up, you have a vast array of back ups, sorting through them will be a test of my system." 

"Don't stay too long, wouldn't want you to overexert yourself your first day back on job. Douglas would have my head." 

"I'd just torture you for a while," Douglas interrupted.

"Well, just let me get this last entry and I'll shut down." 

He stood for few moments, he was wondering why Douglas had arranged her transfer, she was efficient, loyal and a hard worker, and easy on the eyes. What had taken him nearly a year to find wrong with her? Then arrange for a better paying job? 

"Hungry? I like to get to know my new employees." Jordan asked with a smile. "My wife is a fabulous cook."

Glancing at clock one more time as she shut the computer down she nodded. "I don't want to be trouble though." 

"No trouble, I'll just call Margaret and check to see what's for dinner." She slipped her shoes on and stood as he called. Her mind was on Douglas's body looming in the door.

"I hope you don't mind eating out, Maggie was taking a nap and doesn't feel like cooking tonight." 

"Some other night then?" she asked hoping, to get out of it.

"Don't be ridiculous, Maggie is dying to meet you, she complains I only bring home boring male colleagues. She'll be delighted to have a woman around for a change. Why don't you come too Doug, I'll need someone around to talk to."

They drive to elegant restaurant in their separate vehicles, one following the other. They meet a very pregnant Maggie outside.

"When is your due date?" Miriam asked restraining her hand from reaching out to touch Maggie's protruding tummy.

"It's okay you can touch," she replied and rattled off, "one month and fifteen days, or so my doctor tells me. Then he usually adds that first pregnancies tend to go long." Maggie's eyes seemed to snap towards the men, "And I don't mean football."

The laughter broke up the audible tension. Entering the restaurant, it takes a moment for her eyes to adjust and she feels a hand on her back. Seeing Jordan helping his wife, she turned and found herself staring at Mr. Curtis.

Being seated quickly, they looked over menu. Miriam blushed slightly as she sensed Douglas's gaze from across the table. Jordan announced that the meal is on him, and Miriam should feel free to order anything she wants.

Maggie pointed out what's good, with Miriam nodding, and finally ordered the shrimp scampi. A moment of tension passed after they order, as Maggie quickly filled in happily chattering with Miriam. Miriam was drawn into the woman's enthusiasm and soon they were talking like old friends. Jordan watched them talking, and the look Douglas was giving Miriam. He wondered if he should bring up why Miriam was transferred to him, or if he should just thank Douglas for transferring her.

They talked about pregnancy, Miriam only showing slight envy. Jordan tried to draw Douglas into conversation but failed and was relieved when food arrived as it provided a welcome distraction. 

Douglas ate his food, his eyes only on Miriam. Watching her soft lips move, as she drank and ate. It's only when Jordan kicked him that he realized someone asked him a question. "Sorry, this food is absolutely fantastic," he covered, taking a slow sip of his water.

"So, Doug when are you going to give up bachelor hood for fatherhood?"

He almost choked on the water as Maggie repeated her question. He glanced up seeing Miriam's flushed face. "I don't know, the right girl hasn't shown interest."

"You admit that you've met the right girl?" Maggie zeroed in on his words.

"Yes, and I guess in waiting for the right moment. I may be too late."

Miriam bit her lip, wondering who it was. Thinking that perhaps his erratic behavior was because he couldn't find right time to propose. He was probably buttering her up to ask her to help plan wedding. The kiss tugged at back of her mind, among other things, but she disregarded them as she faced the uncomfortable thought of someone else becoming Mrs. Curtis.

"There is no such thing as too late," Jordan interrupted trying to figure out what he was missing. It was as if someone had taken a puzzle and slowly rained the pieces over the table. All the pieces were there, but some were hiding, half were turned over, and all so small that no pattern was yet visible.

Maggie was oblivious to her husband's puzzlement and replied, "Better late than never." She patted her stomach and said, "As you can clearly see, sometimes you have to let nature take its course." She smiled lovingly at her husband.

He grinned back, missing the subdued mood of Miriam and the odd look on Doug's face. 

Miriam ate quickly, no longer interested in the food before her. She just wanted this day to end and soon. 

The bill came and Jordan paid, Miriam walking Maggie to her car. They talked a bit and made plans to go shopping the next weekend. Maggie makes the joke that if her husband weren't so completely besotted with her, she'd worry about him having such an attractive woman in the office. 

Miriam blushed, shaking her head. Glancing back at restaurant she saw Douglas's dark form exiting the restaurant. "Don't worry, my heart has been pummeled enough already." 

Maggie smiled and reassured her that she'd find someone.

Miriam slowly walked to her car seeing Douglas veer towards her. He fell into step with her, ignoring the gnawing feeling in pit of his stomach. "This wasn't the dinner I had in mind," he softly said as they reached her car.

Before she can reply his lips are over hers in a soft leisurely kiss. "Curtis," she whispers as he left her breathless, "we're in public." Miriam had forgotten the Mister in her confused and aroused state. 

"Call me Douglas," he murmured, feeling confused himself. He wanted to kiss her again and again. On every inch of her skin, yet something was holding him back.

"Mr. Curtis, what did you intend then for this evening?" she was bristling, even as she enjoyed the kiss, she recalled every woman he had dated before. Miriam did not want to be just another woman in his life.

"Something more private," his fingers tipped her face up as he looked into her eyes.

"Such as?" the question leapt from her throat. She blushed even as she thought of what kind of sheets were on his bed as well as what kind of bed he had. 

"My place," the words tumbled out before he could think twice. She must be thinking I'm a complete asshole, he thought before he could take it back however she was speaking.

"I don't know where you live," her voice was husky as she let herself fall under his spell. She would end it; all she needed was one night of passion to fuel her fantasies for the rest of her life.

He gulped; did she say what he just thought she said? "Follow me there?" he was nervous, it was all too simple.

"Okay," she could barely believe what was happening. Here she was allowing herself to be seduced by her boss. Only he wasn't her boss anymore and she could turn and go home at any time. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel and followed his car. It stopped in front of an elegant condominium. Her knees were like Jell-O and she wasn't sure she could get out of the car all by herself.

He got out of his car and seeing her car stopped behind him, he pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He walked over to car to prove to himself she was actually there. 

It took her a few moments to gather up her courage as she looked out window and saw him there. She quickly got out of her car and stood in front of him, blinking reminding herself that this was real. Following him up to his apartment her heart was racing and mind spinning. 

He fumbled with keys as he unlocked the door, and he watched her sit down. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked feeling like he was back in high school. 

"No, I," she was going to say, 'I have to drive home tonight,' but instead finished with, "I've had enough tonight." Miriam fidgeted, the entire room smelled of him. 

"Well then," he paused, he'd never felt this way before.

"Perhaps I should go," she rose and headed for door.

He was in front of her before she could blink. His large hand on the door, "Please. Stay."

Miriam felt so small, and when his lips descended upon hers, her knees went weak. "I," was all she got out before his lips captured hers again. Her knees buckled, feeling his hand on her back as he pulled her to him. "Oh," she murmured softly. She was mentally in his bed already when the phone rang.

"Let the machine pick it up," Douglas huskily whispered. His tongue ran along her lips, before another melting kiss. The phone rang and rang, and then machine picked up. In back of her mind she heard his voice then a women's. 

"Hi sexy, this is Natasha." Everything beyond that was blocked out as he dashed to phone. Miriam looked down and kicked herself, what had she been thinking?

He finally hung up and her hand was on doorknob. Douglas's hand turned her towards him, lifting her chin, and planting another kiss. Suddenly he was picking her up and heading towards bedroom, like a caveman.

"Put me down," she murmured against his collarbone. It took all her will power to utter those words and hold the tears back. 

"I can't," he huskily said nudging bedroom door open with his foot. Douglas laid her on the bed, leaning over her.

This kiss took her breath away, and her skin was on fire. When he moved to get something she stood a bit unsteady on her feet. "I can't."

"What?" he asked confused raking his fingers through his hair. He had never had a women deny him before, much less while in his bedroom.

She moved to door and shook her head. "I don't want to be another Natasha." 

Her words floored him; he ran his fingers through his hair again. "What do you want?"

"I don't want to be hurt. I'm not the kind of woman that inspires lust in a man like you. I bet you never thought of my in a remotely romantic way until you read that stupid letter."

"I'd never hurt you," he whispered closing the space between them. "Just tell me you don't want this as much as I do and I'll let you go."

The problem was she wanted it more, Miriam fidgeted, "I don't want to get roses tomorrow, saying you had a great time and we should do it again sometime. I should know I sent enough roses from you before."

She knew him too well, he opened his mouth but she stopped him.

"Don't say it, even if we had fabulous night. Think about tomorrow, I'd sneak out before you turned me out. I'd be crushed as you avoided me and eventually change jobs. I like my new job. I don't want to switch jobs again. You'd be calling Natasha before the heat of my body left the sheets." She dragged the words painfully out.

"But if I let you leave, you and I will always wonder what if? I don't intend to live my life wondering." The kiss was potent, like a drug. "Whenever I saw another woman I would think of you." His fingers slide along the side of her neck.

"Mr. Douglas," her voice was soft, "please." 

He couldn't let her go, but wouldn't make her stay. Douglas was torn, the way she had said his name, made his temperature rise. If only she were saying please don't stop. "I'll let you go on one condition." He was clinging to one last hope.

"What?" she had to get out of his bedroom the entire room suited him, masculine, strong, and warm.

"We remain friends. How about lunch Monday?"

"I can't Monday," she continued backing up she had to get away before her resolve crumbled.

"Tuesday then?" he pressed.

"Sure," she quickly said managing to get to door sweeping along living room snagging her purse and opening door.

"Bye," she heard him say as she rushed down hall.

He slammed his head into door. How could he have let her leave like that? Why oh why had he let her leave? Why did Natasha have to call? Right now all he could think of was a very cold shower. He tossed and turned most of night and weekend dragged by. 

She was shaking in her car, barely able to breath, as her mind recalled how she had turned him down. Miriam didn't want to think of the what ifs, even as they haunted her throughout the weekend.

Monday, she was tired from restless nights and called into office. She told Jordan she preferred to work from home until she got system set up so she could concentrate on her work. He agreed and she headed into office and picked up slew of work. 

Losing all track of time until her phone rang. It was Maggie, wondering if she still had time for lunch. Miriam said she'd manage and they met for a nice lunch. 

Jordan was surprised to see Douglas storm into his office.

"You look like hell, tough weekend?" Jordan asked.

Douglas raked his fingers through his hair, "I didn't get much sleep."

"Must have been some woman," Jordan joked. "Who was she?" He asked, but look on Doug's face told him to change tactic. "Sounds like it wasn't pleasant?" Jordan hated to pry, but something was going on.

Douglas slumped down on chair, "I had her, there in my bedroom. Then she left. Just like that, up and left me alone in my bedroom."

"Who?" Jordan knew he was going to regret the answer even as he asked it again.

"Miriam," he raked his fingers through his hair, rumpling his already messy jet black hair.

"What!" Jordan stood, "you can't be serious. She worked for you, and you," he lost his train of thought. At least the tension of dinner last night made sense.

"Well, I couldn't very well date her when she worked for me now could I?" Doug countered pacing like a caged panther.

"No, are you serious about her? I mean, Friday night you mentioned meeting the 'right' woman."

"I can't stop thinking about her. Not seeing her is driving me nuts. The thought of her with someone else, tears me up inside. I don't know what in world to do."

"You have it bad, I hate to tell you this Doug, but you're in love."

Doug looked up at him and shook his head, "It's lust pure and simple," he muttered.

"Then get it out of your system."

"What do you think I was trying to do last night?"

"I'm not going there. I have work to do and so do you." Jordan decided that if Doug was in denial, there was nothing he could do about it.

Douglas left Jordan's office more upset than before. Love, he thought, no way. It was lust, pure and simple.

Meanwhile Miriam worked her magic on Jordan's files avoided Douglas's requests for lunch by working from home and found herself sleeping less and less. 

It had taken a few months but she had managed it, working through Jordan's files in record time. He was extremely happy and asked about her health, as she looked pale when she gave him the CD set.

"Just a little tired," she said running her fingers up back of neck feeling a knot. 

"You could take some time off? You've earned it." He tried not to think of Doug.

"Was thinking something different. I want out," she softly said knowing that the further she got from Douglas, the better.

"Why?" he was concerned, she was damn good employee.

"I miss my family. I feel the need for a change. It's been great working with you, but I need a fresh start. Besides being home for the holidays would be perfect gift."

He was tempted to mention Doug, but kept his mouth shut instead. "Fine, I'll work out the details. You'll be missed," he shook his head. He picked up her file, "You're from Colorado, right? I have a friend there that could use someone like you."

"Thanks," she said holding his hand, her eyes shining with happiness, Jordan hadn't seen in a long time. 

Her apartment was a pile of boxes and she felt sadness at leaving, but she couldn't stay, the memories of Douglas, even if it was from that one night. Then again at his place, her skin heated up at the memory, part in desire, part embarrassment at acting so stupidly.

She glanced in mirror, she had lost a bit of weight, and exercise had filled up the empty hours. Miriam made a decision; she had to see Doug one last time. She redressed pulling a silky black slip over her head, the fabric sensual against her skin. Slipping on a simple violet dress over her head, the fabric clinging to her full figure. Dabbing on perfume and lipstick before she put on her coat. She steeled herself and drove over. She paused outside his door, what if he was with someone, what if he was asleep. Knocking, she licked her lips, a nervous gesture. 

He opened door, and there she was, somehow looking demure and sexy at the same time. "Hello," he almost stuttered as she moved past him into the room. He watched her slide her purse onto the table, take her coat off, and before he could say anything she spoke.




A Misplaced Letter



"Do you find me attractive?" Miriam asked as she slide a strap off her milky shoulder.

How did she manage to look shy and seductive? It was a potent combination, and he couldn't resist. Moving towards her, kissing the exposed skin, in response he revealed his hunger. Her fingers entangled in his thick black hair letting go of every sensible thought in her head. He didn't hold anything back, his lips devouring her soft skin. Pulling her to him, fighting between tenderness and raw passion. He was so entranced in her scent that he nearly missed the soft swish of her dress falling to floor. He was transfixed as she pulled her black slip up over her head, his eyes running from her sweet face, to the full breasts cupped in black lace down to black panties. He had never met any women who looked so utterly breathtaking in simply black. Pulling her to him, capturing her soft lips as his hands ran up and down her back. He wanted to make every moment last, hands cupping her firm ass. Feeling her soft gasp of air into the kiss as she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. Her soft hands pulling it out of his pants, tugging it down his arms. He let go of her to remove his shirt, undoing his pants for her. His fingers finally undoing her bra, sliding it gently off. She shivered, looking shy as he revealed her breasts. His fingers tenderly sliding over the hardening nipples. Her soft gasp urging him on.

"Do you like that?" he huskily asked rolling the nipples.

She nodded with her eyes down, body burning with need, wanting him so much it hurt. Miriam watched his eyes rake over her body. Running down then back up to capture her eyes, seeing the desire there.

"Tell me," he murmured as his lips traveled down her neck.

"What?" Miriam barely got out as his lips worshipped her skin.

"That you need me," it was a statement, not a question.

"Yes," she purred unable to say much more her mind going blank as his lips moved down her soft skin. 

She hadn't exactly said it, but he didn't care. As long as she stayed in his arms, his lips covering the soft flesh of her breasts. Doug wanted to be gentle, but when her fingers slide into his boxers he pressed her into the nearest wall. Her eyes had this amazing passionate look as he slowly slide her panties off. His lips started to wander down, when her fingers pulled his chin back up to her face.

Murmuring, "Look me in the eyes," softly as her fingers slide his pants and boxers down around his ankles. Miriam's fingers gripping his toned behind, she had never been so bold sexually or otherwise. She needed him as much as her next breath.

They continued kissing losing control, feeling his bare chiseled body against her as he held her pinned to the wall. She ran her leg along the outside of his, his large hand running along it holding it.

He ran his hand along her hip as she raised her other strong leg, wrapping herself around him. Doug's lips slide back down to her neck and heard her murmur, "Please." It was so soft he almost thought he imagined it. Until her hips began moving, his hand cupped her butt to hold her up as he moved back. He looked into her eyes, drowning in the molten pools. Lust he reminded himself, just lust. The way she licked her lips and moved against him was utterly irresistible. The last thing on his mind was protection, as he sunk into her. 

She let out soft purr along his neck as he pressed her into the wall again, her legs wrapped around him. Miriam had never felt so complete, as they moved together. She was dangerously close to losing her heart. Burying her face in his neck unable to look him in the eye as he brought her pleasure over and over again. Eventually she lost track as they ended up on the couch, his feet still entangled in his pants. Miriam was sitting on him, feeling him still buried within her. She saw the question in his eyes, and stalled it with a deep kiss. 

He was going to say something but her lips stopped him, her body moving up and down him again. She was insatiable; there was no stopping her. The kiss going on, until they both finally exploded in a intense moment. The world seemed to stop, and he felt empty when she finally pulled away. 

"Mind if I take a shower?" it took all her will power not to keep kissing him. She picked up his dress shirt and slide it on.

"Go ahead," his mind was still spinning as he watched, her full hips sway as she walked. She looked incredible in his shirt, the way it barely concealed her curves and reminded him of last time she'd worn his shirt. He watched as she sniffed the collar with a shy little smile. He collected his thoughts as he listened to the shower running. Doug was contemplating joining her as he entered his bathroom. She had already left, her body glistening with droplets of water. 

No man had the right to look that hot, she thought, as she left the cold shower, his gaze heating her blood. She grabbed a towel; Miriam knew she had to leave before he touched her.

His hand reached out taking towel, wrapping it around her and pulling her close. Kissing her again, letting his fingers run down between them. She was still wet, and turning them around he lifted her up on the sink. No woman had ever gotten to him like she did. Her strong legs wrapping around him again.

He resisted the urge to drive into her again, his fingers working, feeling the soft wet folds. She was sexy and open yet that look on her face was almost innocent. He teased her, his lips traveling down but she stopped him again, with a soft please. He couldn't deny her and their lips met. This time her fingers drawing his body into hers. Then it was slower but just as hungry; he never wanted to let her go. Doug wanted to stay like this forever, surrounded by her, feeling her body crushed against him.

Afterwards, he picked her up and began to carry her to bedroom. Miriam squirmed away and whispered, "I have to go. I have lots of packing left." 

"Stay tonight," he wasn't sure where the request came from, normally she'd either be gone or at least in his bed. 

"No," she started pulling her clothes back on not wanting to look at him. She didn't want to see the relief in his eyes. She had what she wanted, one incredible, she took that back, it had been much more than just one. She tried not to blush as she went to door, he didn't stop her and with that she left. 

He was dumbfounded, how could she just walk out after what they had shared? Damn it, he admitted to himself that he wanted her to say. It wasn't lust, he thought as his fingers raked his hair. His body spent, his mind confused, Douglas went to bed alone. For first time in his life he felt completely alone. When he woke up, the word packing echoed in his mind. With the rush of a man possessed he hurriedly dressed. Doug almost tripped down the stairs, fumbling with the keys to his car. He cursed himself, why hadn't he talked to her last night? Why had he let her seduction distract him? He knew why, he wanted her, still wanted her.

He sped over to her place seeing her car filled with boxes. His heart nearly stopped beating as he saw her. She looked radiant, in snug jeans and bundled up in winter coat. His fingers were numb from cold as he went to her.

"Where are you going?" he cursed himself for letting her drift away, the past three months had been living hell. 

"Mr. Curtis," she was surprised. He certainly wasn't dressed for the weather. "What are you doing here?"

Why did she look so puzzled, did she think he'd just forget about last night? "Last night," he stammered, rubbing his hands together trying to generate some heat. 

"What about it?" she continued moving, giving instructions to people carrying boxes. 

"I wanted you to stay," he softly said trying to capture her eyes, as he began losing feeling in his fingers.

She looked at him and shrugged, "Let's talk inside. You aren't exactly dressed for winter weather."

Doug was confused; it was like walking in an icy dream, the sting reminding him that it's all too real. Once inside, she took his hands and rubbed them with her warm soft fingers. 

"You wanted to tell me something?" she hardened herself for whatever he had to say.

"Are you going somewhere?" the room was empty, devoid of any trace of her living there.

"I've got a new job, closer to home. My family is thrilled I'll be back permanently." 

She looked so happy; he wasn't sure what to say anymore. How was it she always seemed able to make him feel empty and complete at the same time? "What?" he was stunned, after last night he couldn't imagine a day without her and she was leaving the state? 

"I need a change of scenery. I thought after last night you understood that." Miriam was confused; he seemed lost as if he didn't know what was going on. After all he hadn't made much of attempt to see her in last three months.

"I thought I did, until now." He raked his fingers through his hair.

She fought herself and lost, her fingers following his combing his hair. He closed his eyes enjoying the feel of her hand reaching up, and he pulled her to him capturing her lips.

She stepped back, breathless from kiss, "Don't do this to me, Curtis. We both know last night was just a fling. Something we had to get out of our system."

"You're still in my system," he murmured unzipping her jacket, his cold hand sliding up under her sweater. 

The feel of his cold hand thrilled her, and she remembered why she was moving. Otherwise she would always be susceptible to his touch, and never able to move on. Some small part of her didn't want to move on, but at same time she wouldn't allow herself to be his plaything. "It'll pass," she moaned slightly his hand warm now and cupping her breast, the nipple hard and straining against her bra.

"I don't think so," he whispered.

The softness of his words took her breath away, as she felt her body lean against the wall. Miriam began laughing a tired silly laugh, "Then why the hell did you wait three months to tell me?" Tears ran down her cheeks she was laughing so hard. "I've already got a new job, a place to live, a new life." She bit her lip looking at him, "Why?"

His lips covered hers, "I was blind and stupid." Douglas's lips captured hers again, speaking without words. 

"It was just sex, surely you've had better." The words hurt to say but she had to say it before she lost herself to him completely.

He pulled his hands back from her body, after last night it never occurred to him that she had done it to get him out of her system. "Tell me you don't crave my touch, that your pulse doesn't race whenever I'm near." He bit the words out straining to think. 

"I," she paused, she couldn't lie to him, the truth was going to cost her, her sanity. Her tongue darted over her lips and she knew she loved him; it was like a flash of lighting. She drew in a slow deep breath, "That's purely physical."

He balled his hands into fists and slammed them into the wall next to her, "Well I love you, and if you think it's purely physical, well I'm willing to spend the rest of my life convincing you otherwise." The words sprang from his lips and he felt drained as they hung in the air.

"What did you just say?" her body trembled as the words sunk into her mind.

"I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you." The words were phrased more confidently as he looked into her eyes. 

"That's what I thought you said," her eyes met his. 

For that brief instant he felt uncertain of the future. Time seemed to stop until she spoke again.

"Yes," the word was a hushed tone of relief, her body pressing to his as she whispered it gently in his ear.

"Yes to what?" he felt dumb asking but he couldn't risk any more confusion between them. 

"You don't have to convince me it's not purely physical." The words drifted to his mind as his arms wrapped around her.

"What about your new job?" he asked lifting her chin wanting to gaze into those eyes.

"We'll figure something out." Miriam licked her lips and smiled as his arms surrounded her in warmth.

"Tell me," he prodded, as his lips moved over her collar bone.

"What?" she softly gasped glad the last box was already in the u-haul.

"That you need me, want me, love me, as much as I do you." 

"Maybe even more," she huskily purred.