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2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15

By: inspirixis1



CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Maya didn't know where Tyler was and she didn't know where she stood with him. He had emailed her on Monday to tell her that he couldn't look after Nicholas on Wednesday, but that had been the extent of their communications. It didn't bode well.

She tried to go about her life without thinking about him, but it was futile. She could almost smell him her memories were so vivid. She could see his smile, feel his hair between her fingers, his body pressed against hers. She could still hear his deep grainy voice, 'Mayechka, you are so beautiful,' he had told her. She had felt so loved. 

She was still reeling from the conversation they'd had on Sunday, she couldn't believe that it could be over. It had felt so strong, it had felt like nothing she'd ever experienced before. 

It was Thursday morning and she was at work. He was supposed to leave for Australia tomorrow. She wondered what he was doing right now. 

Her office phone rang. 

"Yes?"

"Maya, I have a Sam Watson on line one for you."

Sam? What was Sam doing calling her? 

"Thank you Donna, put him through."

She heard the click of the line connecting. 

"Sam?"

"Hi, Maya? I'm sorry to call you at work."

"Not at all, what can I do for you?"

"Can we meet for lunch? I want to talk to you."

Her heart was racing. What did Sam want to talk to her about? Was he going to bitch her out for distracting Tyler? That didn't seem like his style. 

She felt nervous when she showed up at the café that he wanted to meet at. She was wracking her brains, what could Sam want from her on the day before he was supposed to leave? 

She spotted him inside reading over something at a table, his blonde head shaved close. 

"Sam?" She felt unsure of herself as she approached him. 

He was reviewing pages of mathematical formulas with a red pen. He smiled when he saw her and folded the pages up and slipped them neatly in his bag. 

"Maya, hi."

She sat down opposite him.

"This is a bit awkward," he said. 

She nodded. 

"I need to ask you a favor. It's a big one."

"Okay." A favor? What sort of a favor could he want from her?

"It's Emma. I'm worried about her. She's feeling... fragile and I have to leave for Australia tomorrow."

"Okay. What can I do?"

"Well, I'm hoping that you might be able to check in on her and help with Grace and Zach."

She nodded. "Of course."

"There's more Maya. I don't know how to explain all of this..." He seemed hesitant. "My mother is coming to stay to help her with the kids."

"Oh."

"Emma and my mom have a history. I'm worried. You see..." His eyes left her for a moment as he searched for the words. He was really struggling with this. "Emma and I grew up together. We were raised as siblings. My mom is her mom... not genetically, but emotionally and legally."

"Oh." Maya tried to give a somewhat surprised but somewhat supportive reaction. Of course she knew all of this, but she didn't want to let on that Tyler had told her. 

He was watching her carefully, his deep blue eyes scanning hers to try and gauge her response. 

"Okay. I'm okay with that." She said. 

Sam relaxed visibly. The poor guy, what it must be like to have to carry that around with you all the time. 

"My mom, our mom, has a history of trying to intervene in our relationship. She's been getting better but I'm still worried, especially with Emma not feeling well."

"So you want me to go around to your house to check in on them, to make sure your mom's not trying to manipulate her?"

He nodded. 

"Okay, I can do that."

He looked relieved. "Thanks Maya, it really means a lot to me. She says that she just wants to help and that she's trying to turn over a new leaf but I can't help but worry."

"Don't mention it. What do you want me to do if I think she's trying something on?"

"Um... I don't know. I guess email me." He thought about it. "Yeah, email me and cc Gray, our schedules will be different so he might get it before I would."

Now he had relaxed Sam was chatting easily. He was an odd personality. He was shy, sometimes it seemed painfully shy, but once he was comfortable with you he was chatty. It seemed that Maya had just transitioned into his comfort zone. He was complaining about having to go all the way to Sydney for the world championships when his wife was twenty-seven weeks pregnant. 

"Gray says the weather is good so that's something at least."

The mention of Tyler snapped her back into the conversation. "Tyler already left?"

"Yeah he left on Monday. It was kind of sudden. He decided he wanted to get down there early to make sure he was over jetlag and all that stuff in plenty of time." 

So he was already in Sydney. He was half a world away from her. Maya felt empty.

Maya ended up spending a lot of time with Sam's mom Judy over the next week. Maya couldn't help herself liking her, she was like Sam, she was guarded until she trusted you and then she couldn't stop talking. She was the most honest and forthright person she had ever met. Maya started leaving work early to take Grace and Nicholas to the park with Judy just to have more time to talk with her while Emma napped. 

Judy had a peculiar way about her, she would look at you and you could see the cogs of her brain turning, and then she would say something that would blow your socks off. The first time she did that was when she admitted to her that she had tried to break up Sam and Emma. They were at the park, watching Nicholas and Grace climb around the jungle gym.

"Sam asked you to keep an eye on me didn't he?" 

Maya considered how to proceed for a split second before nodding. 

Judy looked at her carefully. She was thinking. 

"My own son, my own flesh and blood, doesn't trust me... I can't say I blame him. I have tried every trick in the book to get his wife to leave him."

Maya was shocked. She didn't know what to say.

"There was never any point in trying to get Sam to change his mind, he's too much like me in that regard. Once he's made his mind up about something there is no changing it. I had to go after Emma, she was the only chance I had. I'm not proud of it. 

"But I am what I am... I am a woman whose children fell in love with each other. It has taken me a long time to come to grips with that. I kept on asking myself, what does that say about me as a mother? Your kids aren't supposed to fall in love with each other, that's sick, it's perverted. Was I away at work too much? Did I drive them towards each other by my lack of attention? What should I have done differently? 

"They always wanted to do everything together. I thought nothing of it at the time, to be honest I was relieved because it meant that there were fewer things that John and I would have to cart them around to. After we found out they were sleeping together I wondered if I should have insisted that they do things on their own, if I should have forced them to be more individualistic. 

She leaned back into the bench and looked at the sky. "God, that day that I found them in bed together was awful."

"You found them in bed together?"

"Mm... On thanksgiving. My first thought was that Sam had raped her. I was so shocked. My brain could hardly keep up with what my eyes were seeing. Later, when they told us they were in love, I couldn't decide if that was better or worse. What does that say about me? One part of me thought it would be better if my son had raped my daughter than if they were in love with each other.

"For me, the only way I can accept it is if I acknowledge that Emma isn't my daughter, which is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I spent twenty-one years believing with all of my heart that she is my child. I delighted in her every accomplishment. I still remember the first day she said ma-ma, how I cried. I still remember how she would cling to me when I dropped her off at day care, how she would run to me yelling 'mommy' when I came back for her. 

"When she got her first period I was the one she came to. I was the one who explained how to use a tampon. She was so scared, she trusted me when I comforted her and told her it would be okay. How can I forget all of that? Pretend it never happened? Those are some of the most important memories of my life, if I deny them, what is left? Am I still the same person? 

"It has been a difficult journey for me, but I think I have finally accepted it. When they told us that they were pregnant it threw me for a loop, but I am trying. I want to be a good mother. I want to be in their lives."

Maya could see the emotion in her eyes and hear it in her voice. Judy wasn't acting. She really was struggling and trying her hardest to do the right thing. She was a good person who had been caught in a situation that was beyond her ability to cope with. 

Judy wasn't the only one who spilled her guts. Maya told her everything. She told her about Hamid and his parents, she told her about her career aspirations and how she worried what effect they would have on Nicholas, she told her about Tyler. 

"Give him a year," she advised. "Tyler's a smart guy, he'll figure it out. If he's still farting around this time next year get on with your life without him."

"Why a year?"

"I don't know, doesn't it just seem like a nice round number? I think there is something to be said for having a plan. Whether that plan is right or not doesn't really matter because plans almost never come to fruition, life always gets in the way. If you tell yourself one year it might make the day-to-day easier."

Maya could see the logic in her argument. She'd give Tyler a year. 

***

The first thing that Tyler noticed when he got to Sydney was that the Illawarra Flame Trees were in bloom. He had known that they were native to Australia, but he hadn't realized that they would be on every other block, staring at him, accusing him, their red flowers dripping from their branches like blood from an open wound. 

He felt like shit. All he could think about was Maya, what he had done to Maya. Tyler had always thought that he was basically a good person, but good people didn't pull that sort of shit. A good person would have seen how vulnerable she was and would have kept their distance. A good person wouldn't have tempted her and taken advantage of her when he knew that he couldn't give her what she really needed. 

He tried valiantly to focus on swimming. People were starting to trickle in. The German team was already there when he arrived, then came the English, followed by the Swedes and the French, the US team arrived on Sunday. He found Sam and Nate and tried to settle into taper week. Usually he loved taper week, you got to ease off the training, giving you more time to relax and enjoy having time to think for a change. 

But he wasn't enjoying the extra time, it just gave him more opportunities to realize the depths of his stupidity. He was sinking. He tried to snap himself out of it by doing tourist shit, he went into the city, he walked around the opera house, he sat beside the harbor then caught the ferry to go to the beach. He swam in the ocean, but even that didn't help. 

Sydney was gorgeous, but the Australians were fucking nuts. Everywhere he went people recognized him. He wasn't used to this sort of fame, in the US he would be lucky to be recognized a few times a year, in Australia people were stopping him all the time. They wanted autographs for their kids, they wanted to talk to him about his swimming, they wanted to wish him good luck. 

They'd punch him playfully in the arm and say something like, "Mate, I know you're a yank and all, but I'm still pulling for ya. You're better than that wanker Krantz." 

And that was half of the problem, they were friendly and he wanted to be nice to them but he didn't understand what the fuck they were saying half the time. They were speaking English, but it was so bastardized that it was practically indecipherable. That, and every sentence sounded like a question to him. They had weird inflections. 

He decided to rent a car and drive out into the country. He needed to get away. He wanted to be alone. The guy at the rental car company confused the hell out of him, he kept on talking about boots and bonnets, Tyler didn't understand what he was getting at. It took him ages to figure out that the boot was the trunk and the bonnet was the hood. 

These were the sorts of things he usually loved, when this sort of shit happened he'd write an email to Josh about it and they'd make up some stupid joke that would become part of their vernacular for years. But not this time. This time it just annoyed him. He wanted to be someone other than who he was, and that person was not amused by these sorts of things. 

He drove out into the country. He didn't really know where he was going but he didn't care, he'd gotten a GPS navigator so he would be able to get back to Homebush Bay, where the swimming venue was. He drove on the wrong side of the road, which was the right side in Australia. That is to say, he drove on the left hand side and it confused the hell out of him. 

The countryside was gorgeous. Rolling hills, little farmsteads, big stands of eucalyptus. Dry creek beds crisscrossed the landscape haphazardly. 

He kept on seeing signs for Devonshire tea. He had no idea what that was. Wasn't Devonshire in England? Finally his curiosity got the better of him and he pulled off the road and traveled up a dusty drive to a farmstead. 

When he got out of the car a mangy little border collie came to greet him. Her tail whipped back and forth in excitement and her tongue lulled out the side of her mouth. She reminded him of Cassie. 

He walked up the path, following the signs. It was a makeshift café of sorts. He saw a young boy sitting in the kitchen through a screen door. He came to the door and told Tyler he could sit in the kitchen or on the verandah.

"The verandah?" He asked. 

'Yeah, you know, outside, here on the verandah," he said in a you-idiot kind of tone as he motioned to the front deck that they were standing on.

'Oh, okay, I'll sit outside."

He nodded and closed the screen door. 

'Mum! There's some yank here who wants tea!' He yelled. 

'Well put the kettle on, I'll be there in a jiffy." He heard from a woman's voice in the distance.

Tyler sat on the verandah and admired the view. The dog had followed him and was lying close to his feet. He got his camera out and took some photos, he might as well, he may feel like shit but this place was beautiful, maybe one day he'd be able to look at the photos and appreciate that properly. 

After a while a middle-aged woman came out with a tray piled with tea fixings and scones with jam and whipped cream. 

'Here you go love," she said as she set the tray down and transferred the contents onto the table in front of him. 

She stood back to look at him and he saw her eyes go wide. 

'Streuth!' She exclaimed. 'You must be on the American swimming team." 

Ah fuck. Fucking Australians were obsessed with swimming. 'Yeah, I am," he admitted.

'Donny! Call down to the dairy and tell Haley to get her arse up here, lickity split." She yelled into the house. 

'I'm sorry, my daughter would kill me if she knew that you'd been here and she didn't get to meet you. She loves to swim."

Tyler really wasn't in the mood for this, but what could he do? You can't go around shutting people down, you'd get yourself a reputation as an asshole that way. 

'Sure, no problem," he said. 

She went back inside the house. It was very quiet. The only sounds were the occasional twitter of a bird and the panting of the dog. Tyler let himself relax. The scones she'd brought out were amazing, they weren't like American scones, they were smaller, lighter and fluffier and not sweet. They were perfect with the jam and cream. He was going to need a lot more of these. 

He saw a dust trail in the distance that grew as it moved towards the house. As it came closer he realized that it was a four-wheeler, there was a weedy looking girl riding it, no helmet, no safety equipment. She was riding like a bat out of hell. 

She pulled up beside his rental car and ran up the front path. She was probably about Zach's age, maybe twelve years old. She was wearing a grotty sweater, jeans and rubber boots. 

'Holy fuck, it is you," she swore. 

'Haley! Language young lady," came her mother's voice from within the house. 

She ran up the steps and sat down at the table with him. She smelled like shit. Not figuratively, she literally smelled like shit. Her fair hair was pulled back messily off her face and she had thick bangs and freckled skin. 

'I want to swim the 200 breaststroke but they don't do that until you get to high school out in this little piece of shit town. I bet in the city all the other kids are already swimming it though."

This kid made him smile, she had such a potty mouth. 'Well, good luck with that," he said. 

'Do you think you're going to get the record?" She asked. 

He was honest with her. 'I don't know. I had thought so but I'm not sure anymore, I'm having trouble focusing." 

'Fuck," she said. 

'Hailey! Language."

Hailey rolled her eyes. 'Oh dear," she said sarcastically. 

'Better," said her mother from behind the screen door. 

Tyler laughed. He hadn't laughed in days, but this kid was funny. 

'Well I think you can do it. I guess it doesn't really matter though, so long as you beat that poofter Krantz. Everyone hates that dickhead."

He heard Hailey's mom sigh and walk away. Obviously Hailey's colorful vocabulary was the source of some contention in their lives. 

'Hey, do you want to see our dairy? Dad's putting in a new holding tank so it's a bit messy, but you'll get the idea."

Tyler was indifferent. He didn't really feel like hanging out with a twelve year old girl but he was curious, he wouldn't mind seeing a dairy. 'I don't know, shouldn't you ask you mom?"

'My mom...' she exaggerated the American accent and she laughed. 'Hey mum, can I take Tyler down to the dairy?" She yelled. 

'Okay. See if dad's old boots will fit him."

Hailey got up and motioned for him to follow her around the side of the house. At the side door there were rows of shoes lined up. There was no way any of those shoes were going to fit him, he had a size seventeen foot and the biggest thing looked to be more like a size twelve or thirteen.

'Shit. We'll have to go down to Uncle Bob's place, he's got feet like a fucking yowie."

She yelled into the house where she was going and then led him down to the four wheeler. He sat on the back and held onto the rack behind him. He felt weird sitting this close to a kid he didn't know, there was no way he was going to hold onto her. 

She tore down the hill and merged onto the road, traveling at the limit of the vehicle's ability. The next house was miles away. Tyler recognized that this wasn't a good idea. If he had to guess he'd say that he was traveling at about forty miles an hour, and he was on the back of a four wheeler with a kid he didn't know at the wheel without any safety equipment on. It was stupid, but it was liberating. It was wildly out of character for him to do something like this so close to an important race. 

She didn't bother to knock on the door at Uncle Bob's house, she just went to the back and picked up a pair of rubber boots. 

'Will these fit?" 

'Maybe, let me see...' They did. It was snug, but they'd work. 

He smelled the dairy before he saw it. Of course he didn't realize that was what the smell was until they got there. It was a long narrow building with a series of gates and railings that led to and from holding pens. 

Tyler had never been to a dairy farm before. He wondered where the cows were but he didn't want to ask, he didn't want these people to know how much of a city boy he was. 


2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15



Hailey led him through the long shed with a sunken cement floor in the center. There were weird octopus looking things with pipes attached to them hanging from the ceiling. The pipes all led through to the back of the building, which is where Hailey's dad was. He was working on some fittings on a large tank. There were a couple of other guys in there, working around the place. 

'You had better get that fucking thermostat working by tonight Greg or I swear to god you'll be running home to Wanda with your tail between your legs." He sounded pissed. 

'Is it almost done?" Hailey asked. 

'Fuck no. Now get your arse out to the nursery and help Jesse with the fucking calves. That looks like a job pretty boy there could help you with." Hailey's dad regarded Tyler openly, and not in an approving way, but he held his hand out to him. 

Tyler accepted his handshake. 

'George Stevenson," he said. 

'Tyler Gray," Tyler said. 

George nodded his head and turned back to what he was doing. 

Hailey led Tyler through the back of the building and out into some pens where a teenaged boy was feeding calves with bottles. Hailey filled a couple of bottles from a bucket of milk and handed them to him, they were similar to baby bottles but the teat was long and thick. 

'You do those two," she said pointing to the next pen along that had two skinny little calves in it. He climbed over the fence and the calves came to him, clearly expecting to be fed. They drank the milk rapidly, sucking on the teats roughly. It was charming. They were cute. Tyler liked it. 

They moved down the row of pens feeding each calf separately.

'These ones don't have names yet. Do you want to name them?" Hailey asked when they came to the last two pens. 

Tyler didn't think it was very manly to admit it, but he really liked the idea of naming a cow. He really wanted to name one Sam, especially if it was female.

'How about Sam?" 

'Already got one."

'Watson?"

She looked up at him shyly. 'Yeah, got one of those too."

'Okay... do you have a Josh yet?"

'Nope." 

'Okay, I want that one to be Josh," he said pointing at the stupidest looking one of the bunch. It had a white face with a black blob over one ear, it had a wonky walk, it looked slightly spastic. 

'Okay." Hailey had a book that she wrote something down in, she walked up to the cow and recorded the number from its ear tag. 

'Two more," she said.

'Um... that one should be Emma," he said pointing to the one in the corner. 'And that one over there should be... Maya." His voice trailed off when he said her name out loud. 

Hailey didn't notice, she was writing stuff down in her book. 'What was the last one again?" She asked. 

'Maya."

'Okay, Josh, Emma and Maya." She looked up at him to confirm. 

'Yeah," he nodded his head. 

'Hey, I know it's really stupid but can I get you to take my photo with them?"

Hailey smiled at him. She had wingnut ears that stuck out a bit too far, like Maya's. 'Yeah, no worries."

Tyler took a bunch of photos of the rest of the dairy, he was enjoying himself. For the first time in a while he felt relaxed. 

He rode on the back of Hailey's four wheeler while she, George and the dog rounded up the cows from the pastures for milking. It was a lot slower than he had anticipated. He had visions of cowboys galloping on horseback in his head, but the reality was much more sedate. 

'Careful Hailey, slow it down," George grumbled impatiently. 

'Why do they have to go so slowly?" Tyler asked her.

Hailey turned her head to the side so he could hear her. 'The milk will drip out of them if they go too fast."

In the dairy Hailey showed him how to attach the octopus looking things to the cow's teats to pump the milk out of them. 

George muttered and swore and verbally abused Hailey non-stop. Poor kid, Tyler thought, he couldn't imagine being subjected to that kind of abuse at such a young age. 

When they were finally done with the last cow, he and Hailey made a move to leave the dairy. By this point they were trudging through at least two inches of slushy cow shit. He was thankful for Uncle Bob's rubber galoshes. 

'Tyler...' George called after him, 'you'll stay for tea?"

Tyler was confused. 'I've already had tea."

'What are you talking about ya drongo? It's fucking five o'clock, you've been down here for hours, how could you have already had your tea?"

Tyler looked at Hailey and then back to George. He didn't understand. 

'Mum's cooking stew," Hailey said. 

'Dinner? You mean dinner?" Tyler asked.

'Yes shit head, what did you think I meant? Did you think I was inviting you to high tea with the bloody Queen herself?" He shook his head. 'Fucking yanks," he muttered.

Tyler didn't like the idea of having dinner with George. He was an abrasive character who verbally abused his own preadolescent daughter, he seemed like an asshole, but Hailey's eyes were so hopeful. She'd given him such a pleasant afternoon, he should try and repay her. 

Dinner was odd. They used both the fork and the knife to eat. They held their forks in their left hands, prongs down, and delicately and precisely manipulated their food using both utensils. Tyler felt like a monkey with a shovel using just his fork. Here he was, the son of highly educated and sophisticated people, himself educated at one of the finest institutions the US had to offer and he felt like a baboon eating with the royal family. 

The family bantered with each other back and forth. 

'How did the installation go?" Ruth, Hailey's mother, asked.

'It would have been a lot fucking faster if you hadn't have pulled my best worker from me half way through," George grumbled. 

'She's worth three good men, this one," George told him, pointing to Hailey. 

Hailey had a funny half smile on her face as she drank in her father's compliment. 

Tyler invited them to come and watch the swimming. He had a bunch of tickets assigned to him that he wasn't using, he might as well give them to these people. 

'You'll have to sit in the US section though." Actually they'd be sitting in the section reserved for the families of the athletes. 

'Fucked if I'm sitting with the sepos," George said. 

'George Lawrence Stevenson, you will sit where you're told and you will watch your foul mouth in front of our guest," Ruth said in a strict tone. 

Before he left Hailey wanted to show him her swimming trophies. They were just school championships stuff, she didn't have any state or national stuff, the poor kid had less than a hare's chance in this country where everyone and his dog seemed to have learned to swim before they could walk. He complemented her on them anyway. 

'You're dad is a character, huh?" He asked. 

'Yeah, he's a grumpy old bastard, I wouldn't swap him for the world though." 

Tyler looked at her. She was serious, he could see it in her eyes. 

Nate was pissed at him when he finally got back to Homebush. 'What the fuck Tyler? What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He screamed. 

Tyler didn't have an answer. He didn't know what he was doing. He had broken so many of his own rules. He'd eaten random food. He'd taken stupid risks. 

'Are you trying to fuck this up? Because you're doing a damn good job. If I ever need a manual on how to fuck up a good thing I'll get you to write it."

Didn't he know it. 'Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stay here from now on."

'Damn straight you will." He stormed out of the room. 

Sam was already in bed. The pool was closed. There was nothing left to do but go to bed. Tyler lay there and thought about Maya. She had a cow named after her now. What a ridiculously small consolation for a broken heart. 

The competition started a few days after that incident. He wasn't feeling it. He barely pulled through the heats to the semi finals. He was swimming like shit. He couldn't get his head into it, he couldn't feel the water. Nate was furious. He yelled and yelled and then he gave up. 'I don't know what to tell you Tyler. I just don't know what your problem is."

Tyler didn't make the final of the 200 backstroke or the 500 freestlye. He hadn't necessarily expected to final in the backstroke but he'd certainly expected to make the 500 free final. He'd hoped to medal in that event.

There was a big Illawarra Flame Tree out the front of the hotel they were staying at, Tyler sat and looked at it for hours. What was he doing? The 100 breaststroke was tomorrow, his best event, he'd managed to make it into the final by the skin of his teeth. He was going to get his ass kicked. 

He stared at the tree as if it had some magical answer that would reveal itself if he just looked long enough. 

'Talk." Sam sat down beside him. 

'What?" 

'Talk. There's been something weird going on with you for weeks, the way you're dealing with it is not working."

Tyler looked at his friend. 

'You're fucking up Gray. You're fucking up big time... Talk."

He was probably right. Besides, how much worse could he really feel? There was nothing that Sam could say to him that he hadn't already said to himself. 

'It's Maya."

'Maya?" He seemed surprised. 

'Yeah. Maya."

'What about her?"

'I've been seeing her." Tyler was altogether uncomfortable with this conversation.

'And?"

'And it didn't end well."

'So you're not seeing her now?" Sam asked.

'No. I don't know, I don't think so." 

'Okay. So you fucked Maya."

'No! Well, yes... but it wasn't fucking."

Sam nodded. 'You love Maya."

Tyler nodded. That is what it came down to. He loved Maya. 

'Does she feel the same?" Sam asked. 

'It feels like she does, but she hasn't said so."

'Okay, so you're in love. Why did it end?"

Tyler ran his hand through his hair. 'Nicholas. I realized that I can't be his father, and what's the point in being in a relationship with someone if you know that it's not going anywhere?"

'Can't be his father, or don't want to be?"

'I can't Sam. I don't know how. I'm not like you."

Sam started laughing. It seemed wholly inappropriate for the conversation.

'What? Why is that funny? It doesn't feel funny to me."

'You think I have any clue as to what I'm doing? I just make it up Tyler. I just have some ground rules and do what seems right at the time. Nobody knows what they're doing with parenting, anyone who says differently is trying to sell you something."

'But with Zach, after he smashed my guitar, you knew exactly what to do."

'No. I guessed what I should do based on his history. He's pulled that sort of shit before."

Tyler was surprised, Sam had never told him about any problems he'd had with Zach. 'When?"

'A few months after he came to live with us he hit Gracie, he hit her hard, she had a bruise for weeks. He ran off, it took him a few hours, but he came back. When he smashed your guitar I figured he'd do the same thing."

'Oh." That's how he'd made that decision. 

'The first time, when he hit Grace, I was a mess. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to send him away, I wanted Emma to find a different family for him. We had a huge fight, the biggest fight we've ever had. Now I'm glad that she convinced me to let him stay. 

'I'm not a perfect father, sometimes I think I'm not even close to being a good father, but I'm what they've got. All you can do is your best and hope that it's good enough."

Tyler was silent. He'd had no idea that Sam and Emma had ever fought over anything, they seemed so perfect.

'Gray, I've seen you with kids, there are no problems with your parenting skills, it's not a question of if you can be a father, it's a question of if you want to be. Don't confuse the two."

Tyler still didn't say anything. He was looking at the tree, thinking about Nicholas. He was a good kid. He deserved to have a father. 

'Tyler...'

Tyler looked at Sam, it sounded like he had something important to say.

'Dude, if there's one thing that I know first hand it's that you can't control who you fall in love with. All you can do is try and make it work." 

After that conversation Tyler started to feel a bit better, a bit more optimistic. He still felt like crap about how things stood with Maya, but maybe there was a chance for them. 

He decided to send the photo of him with the cows to Josh, Emma and Maya. He photo-shopped their names onto their respective cows. It was a really funny photo, Josh the cow looked like such a spastic, its head was twisted to the side, its eyes bulged and its tongue lolled out the side of its mouth. 

He thought long and hard about what to write in the email. In the end he just wrote 'They already had a big fat one named Sam," and he sent it. 

Maya wasn't sure what to think when she got the strange email from Tyler. He'd named a cow after her. It was peculiar. 

The email was addressed to her, Emma and Josh, and copied to Sam, so he must have decided to tell Sam and Emma about them. She was confused. It had seemed like he was telling her that it was over when she saw him before he left for Australia, but now she was part of a joke that included his brother and his best friends. Was he trying to tell her something? Was she still special to him? 

She showed the photo to Judy, who laughed. 'Tyler is a funny one. I like him. I hope he gets his act together," she said. 

Emma didn't say anything to her about it. She had been worried about him. She said he wasn't swimming well. 

'There's something wrong, I can tell from his posture," she had said as they watched him on the TV. 'It's like when his sister had her accident. He looks despondent."

Maya wondered if it was her fault. She remembered performing only too well, the stress and excitement, the need to be completely focused on the task at hand. Was what had happened between them bothering him? It sure as hell was bothering her.

She wanted to talk to him but she didn't know how. He hadn't left a phone number. She could email him but she didn't want to distract him. But what if he was thinking about what had happened between them and that was stressing him out? Maybe he needed to hear from her? 

She started and then aborted what seemed like a thousand emails to him. She didn't know what she wanted to say. It was presumptuous of her to assume that she was the reason he wasn't swimming well. 

In the end she sent him an mp3 file of a song she thought he would like. 'Good luck," she wrote in the subject line, then in the message field, 'I don't know what the lyrics mean, I just thought you might like this song."

It was early in the morning when Tyler got her email. He was about to go down to the pool to stretch out. Josh, Emma and Maya had all responded to his email with the cow picture. He went to Maya's message first. 

He opened the audio file that she'd sent him, it was labeled 'KateMillerHeidke_PsychoKiller'. He was intrigued. It was bootleg recording of a soprano, obviously classically trained, performing live the most unusual cover of the Talking Heads song Psycho Killer. 

She was amazing. She had an extreme vocal range and she was using her voice as an instrument. She wasn't singing the words in the traditional sense, she was swinging and stuttering and warbling in a precise yet playful way. Not only that, she was funny. She'd worked all sorts of cute and ironic jokes into the song. It was creative and it made him laugh, it was just the sort of thing that he loved. He forwarded it to Josh. 

He read the email. 'I don't know what the lyrics mean," she'd said. Tyler didn't know what the lyrics meant either, but he knew what the song meant. It meant that Maya knew him, and perhaps more importantly, she wasn't mad at him. There was hope.

He scanned over Emma and Josh's replies. 

'Nice Gray. I'm touched... really touched," Emma wrote. Tyler could hear the sarcasm dripping from her words. 

'That cow looks like a fucking retard," Josh wrote. 

Tyler laughed again. Today was going to be a good day, he thought. 

And it was. He kicked ass. Something clicked in his brain and he could see and feel the water clearly again. He could focus. Now that Maya had told him she was still there he could put her out of his mind and concentrate on swimming. 

He didn't break his own world record in the 100 breaststroke but he came damn close. He felt good. 

The poolside reporter swooped down on him before he'd had a chance to catch his breath. He hated it how they did that. 

'Tyler, a good race after a slow start to the week. How do you feel?"

He felt like fucking with this guy is how he felt. Tyler put his arm around him and leaned down to read his name off his press pass. 

'Jason," he said, 'it's such a treat to be here in Sydney at this time of year." He looked into the camera, he hoped Maya was watching. 'The Flame Trees are all in bloom and they are beautiful. They remind me of someone very special at home in Colorado."

He looked back at Jason the interviewer. 

'Ah, Okay. I'm glad you're enjoying the trees."

'Mmm, yes they're fabulous." Tyler nodded to indicate his approval. 

'Can I get you to comment on the race?"

'The race? What do you want to know?"

Jason looked unsure, 'Well, how did it go?"

'I won. I think that was the goal, no?" Tyler was laughing, he was enjoying himself. 

'Okay... so how do you feel going into the 200 final tomorrow?" 

'Good. I hope I win that too."

Jason looked exasperated, Tyler clearly wasn't giving him the sort of interview he had expected. 'Do you want to dedicate this win?" He asked. 

Tyler laughed again, he hated all of that dedication shit. 'Sure. I'll dedicate this one to Hailey and her dad George who let me name their cows after the people I love." 

Jason looked at him like he was a retard. Tyler smiled and waved into the camera and then walked away. He felt awesome. 

Later that day he went up into the stands to watch Sam's 400 IM final. He sat with Hailey and George and gave her the stuffed kangaroo toy and flowers he'd gotten when they presented him with his medal. He took the medal up there to show her and he let her wear it around her neck. She was having the time of her life. George seemed a lot less self-assured once he was off his farm. 

'I don't understand you yanks," George told him.

'Why?" Tyler asked.

'You go to all of the effort to train for these races and then when you win you don't even sing your bloody national anthem. What's the point of winning if you don't sing your anthem?"

He was right. Tyler hadn't sung the national anthem when they'd raised the US flag, he'd just stood with his hand over his heart and watched and listened. 

'Tyler, I have some bad news," Hailey said. 

'What?"

'It's about Josh, the calf you named?"

Tyler smiled as he remembered the spastic looking cow. 'What about him?"

'Her," she corrected him. 'It turned out that she wasn't right in the head. She had a 'roo loose in the top paddock. We had to send her to slaughter." The girl's face was serious and remorseful. 

'Oh no," Tyler said, trying to hold back his laughter. 

'Don't worry, I'll name the next one Josh. One of our best heifers is pregnant, it should be a good calf."

'Thanks Hailey, that would be great. Can you send me a photo?"

'Yeah, no worries." She said brightly. 

Tyler wrote his email address out for her. 

'Fucking city boy yank," George mumbled as he shook his head. 

Of course Sam won the 400 IM. He was untouchable. Ever since Emma had taught him Tyler's breaststroke kick, or as close as he could get to it, he had been untouchable. 

Tyler needed to get back to rest properly for the 200 so he said his goodbyes to Hailey and George. 

'Let me walk you out," George said. 

When they were at the exit to the stands George held out his hand. 

'I want to thank you for all of this. Hailey's a good kid, she deserves more than we can give her."




2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15



Tyler was taken aback by George's gratitude, and by his admission of his own shortcomings. He was a cantankerous old fart, but he seemed to have a soft spot for his daughter. Tyler shook his rough callused hand and then George turned to go back to his daughter.

'You know what she told me when I asked her about you?" Tyler said after him.

George turned back to him, he was a few steps away. 

'She told me that you were a grumpy old bastard but that she wouldn't swap you for the world."

George looked at him for a moment, his eyes clouding over with emotion. Then he gave a single nod and walked away.

**********

Maya was tired. She'd been staying up late with Emma and Judy every night to watch the swimming. It was on late because of the time difference with Australia. She had been so relieved to see that Tyler had won his race and was in a good mood yesterday, she hoped he could pull it off today.

She'd gotten a very cute email from him this morning. He'd thanked her for the song and told her that he liked it, and then invited her camping.

'Maya, I have an admission to make," he'd written, 'I lied on my leave request form. I actually get back on Thursday. We're going to New Mexico to go camping for a long weekend. It's tradition. Please say you will take Friday off and come with us, and bring Kolya too?"

Of course she was going to go. She'd never been camping before, but there was a first time for everything, and she had a feeling it would be fun with Tyler. 

'I'll come with you," she wrote in reply, 'if you are nicer to poor Jason." She giggled as she sent it. It was silly, she had adored the way he had been talking in his interview yesterday. He had called her special and grouped her in with 'the people I love'. 

She watched in awe as he swam. He was so beautiful. She'd never seen anything so graceful as the way Tyler moved his body through the water. He won and he broke the world record. He looked ecstatic. 

He was so funny when he got to Jason the interviewer. 

'Jason!' He yelled out and waved before Jason had a chance to say anything. When he got to him he shook his hand. 'I want to apologize for the terrible interview I gave you yesterday. I'll answer any questions you have for me clearly and concisely today." He looked sideways into the camera and grinned.

Maya laughed. 

Poor Jason was thrown, he wasn't expecting such open enthusiasm for the interview. 'Ah, okay. You broke the world record, were you expecting to do that?"

'Well I was hoping to, I've been close all year, I can't say that I was expecting to though."

'You started the meet off pretty slowly, it seemed like you were out of form, but then you finished strongly. What's been going on?"

'Yeah, I wasn't feeling so great earlier in the week, I was having trouble focusing, but I'm lucky to have Sam to talk to and I'm lucky to have some good friends at home who helped me to pull my head together."

'That's your training partner Sam Watson?"

'No, that's my friend Sam Watson."

'Right... So what are your plans now?" Jason asked.

'First I'm going to sing the Star-Spangled Banner very loudly and probably very badly off key. Then I'm going to go home and hopefully take my special lady friend and her kid camping?" He asked it like a question and he glanced into the camera with a hopeful smile on his face. 

Maya couldn't help her own stupid smile. 

'I mean in terms of swimming. What are your plans for swimming?" Jason asked. 

'Oh, of course that's what you meant. Well, I'll probably take a month or two off and then I'll start training again. There's still another two years before the next Olympics, I think I'll be able to make it but you never know. I'm getting old and I could get injured so I don't like to plan that far ahead. I'm just happy to have the 200 record for now." 

'Thanks Tyler."

'No, thank you Jason," Tyler replied smiling into the camera, his eyebrows raised as if he was asking a question. 

Goofball. Complete goofball. But it appeared that he wanted to be her goofball. She didn't know where things stood with Tyler's fears of fatherhood but Maya was happy regardless. She couldn't wait to see him. 

***A note for the readers: To see the gorgeous, fabulously talented Kate Miller Heidke sing her cover of 'Psycho Killer' go to youtube.com and search her name and the song title. My favorite recording is from the user DaveyCyn. Also check out that user's recording of her cover of 'Toxic', the guy playing the guitar is her husband, they are so cute together. Ava.*** 

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Maya couldn't help but feel optimistic about this weekend. Perhaps it was stupid of her, Tyler hadn't said that he wanted to be with her in words, but she felt like he still wanted her. He had been sending her emails, she felt close to him again. She knew they could work something out, somehow they could figure out a way to be together that didn't involve him parenting Nicholas. 

On Thursday all she could think about at work was Tyler. She wanted to go and sit at his desk and be around his things, that's how lame she was. He had told her he would be back that night but that he wouldn't call her until tomorrow morning. He would need to sleep before driving down to New Mexico. 

She couldn't focus on work, she kept on remembering things about him. 

He didn't need an alarm clock to wake up in the morning. He always got up when it was still dark, he had the most accurate body clock of anyone she'd ever known. He didn't like to lay in either. Even on Sundays he wanted to get up early and start the day before the sun rose. 

When he was being playful he called her pussy her papusa, and he hadn't ever complained about wearing a condom, in fact, she didn't even need to remind him about it. Being with Tyler was so different to when she was with Hamid. 

She didn't want to make comparisons, Hamid had been her husband after all, she owed him some sort of loyalty for that, but she couldn't help it. Tyler was a far superior lover, and it wasn't just because he had a bigger cock. It was his attitude. Tyler made her feel special, her satisfaction was important to him, he waited for her and on the one occasion that he couldn't hold it he'd apologized and gone down on her. He'd licked and touched and kissed her pussy until she was writhing in pleasure, until she had found release. 

When they were both satiated he would cuddle with her and kiss her and tell her how beautiful she was. He would whisper to her, ask her questions. His questions were never ending, it seemed that he wanted to know everything about her. Sometimes he would coo tender words to her in Russian. She didn't know what they meant, but they were soft and loving and they made her feel safe. 

That night she packed for the camping trip. Tyler had evidently told Emma that she and Nicholas would be coming with them and Emma had helped her to prepare with a list of everything she would need. She felt nervous. These people were her friends but she'd never been camping before, she didn't really know what to expect. Emma was lending her a lot of their spare gear, which she had no idea how to use. 

They were going somewhere called the Jemez Mountains. It sounded remote.

Zach was dealing with the food. Maya was glad to not have to worry about it. It was part of the deal to repay Tyler for breaking his guitar. Zach was such a cute kid. He was so excited to be in charge of something, he'd planned everything right down to the snacks. 

Late the next morning she got the phone call she'd been waiting for. Tyler would be over to pick them up in a half an hour, 'I have Josh with me," he told her. 

When he showed up he hugged her close and he kissed her on the forehead. He held onto her longer than he needed to, Nicholas was jumping up and down, pulling on the leg of his jeans trying to get his attention. Tyler ignored him for a few seconds and squeezed her tight. Only after her had completely intoxicated her with his presence did he greet Nicholas, he picked him up and enveloped him in a big bear hug. Nicholas was beside himself with excitement, he hadn't seen Tyler in over a month. 

Josh hugged her too.

'I didn't know you were coming Josh," she said.

'Yeah, Ty was trying to get me to back out because he's afraid of the effect my animal magnetism might have on you." He grinned at her. 

Maya laughed. 'Well, I'll let you know how that goes."

'My tent is the yellow one." He winked at her. 

Tyler swiped him over the head. 

It was a long drive down into New Mexico. Emma and Sam had already left earlier in the day, Tyler had waited because Josh hadn't flown in until later in the morning. Josh insisted that she should sit in the front seat. He'd caught an early flight and needed to sleep anyway, he said. Tyler drove. It was a rental vehicle, a big SUV. 

Tyler told them all about Australia during the car ride. He'd obviously really liked it. He told them all about the bakeries and the green grocers. Clearly the food had been a highlight. He raved about meat pies and flavored milk, mangoes and lychees and something called a breakfast bruffin. 

But there was more, he had so much to tell them. He told them about the fascination Australians had with roundabouts and how weird it was to drive on the wrong side of the road. He told them about how he'd gone for a drive out into the country and met a family with a dairy farm.

'That's Hailey and George?" She asked.

He glanced at her and smiled. 'Yeah, Hailey was so funny. She was about Zach's age and she had a mouth like a sailor." 

'Hey Josh, did I tell you that they had to slaughter your cow?" He asked.

'No, why?"

'It wasn't right in the head."

Josh laughed. 'I told you it looked retarded." 

'Yeah, Hailey said it had a 'roo loose in the top paddock. She said she'd name the next one after you."

'A 'roo loose in the top paddock? Like a kangaroo on the loose? I like that, I'll have to use it some time."

'Yeah Australians have millions of these weird sayings that they just throw out at you and expect that you'll understand them. You'd like it Josh, they've got a lot of good material."

Nicholas was being surprisingly good, Josh probably had a lot to do with that. He was like Tyler in that he could talk to kids without talking down to them. He asked his opinion on the music he was playing, he acted like he was interested in what Nicholas had to say. He played songs from his ipod that he thought Nicholas might like. He asked him about the kids at his day care, who his friends were, who the mean kids were. He called him Kolya. When Nicholas fell asleep Josh also decided to recline his chair and go to sleep too.

When they were the only ones left awake Tyler reached for her hand. 

'Maya," he said.

'Yes?"

'Nothing. Just Maya." He brought her hand to his lips. 

If there was any doubt left in her mind as to whether or not Tyler loved her it was erased with that one gesture. 

They stopped in Taos for dinner. She'd never been to New Mexico before. Taos was quaint, she liked it. Tyler and Josh both ordered green chile cheeseburgers for dinner. Nicholas wanted the same thing. 

'Good for you champ," Tyler said, but when he made eye contact with the waitress he shook his head. When the food came out he lifted the bun off Nicholas' burger to make sure he didn't get the chile. 

It was late when they finally made it into camp. The sun had been down for a long time. Maya could hear the trickle of a creek but she couldn't see much apart from the fire that Sam and Emma had burning. She hugged Sam and congratulated him on his races. He'd won four and come second in a fifth. 

Nicholas was asleep in his car seat. She put a blanket over him and left him there until Tyler had set up their tent. She wasn't sure what the sleeping arrangements were, they hadn't been discussed. Emma had given her one of their spare tents to use, she guessed Tyler had his own. 

She had to go back to the car to get her sweater. It was inky black and cold away from the fire. In the darkness she felt a pair of arms grab her around the waist. 

'Mayechka," Tyler whispered, 'I missed you."

She couldn't reply because his lips were pressed up against hers. He was warm in the cold night air and she could feel his stubble scratching against her chin. She put her arms around his neck and pressed her body tight to his. She wanted to be closer to him. She wanted to feel him properly. She wouldn't let him pull away from her, she didn't want to go back to the fire, she wanted to stay here kissing Tyler indefinitely. Finally she let him pull away. 

'Baby, can I sleep with you tonight?" He asked.

'What about Nicholas?" 

'Oh, no, I mean can I sleep in the same tent as you, not sex."

'Yes, but Nicholas will be there."

'That's okay with me. Is it okay with you?"

She smiled into the darkness. 'Yes, that's okay."

They were the last ones to go to bed. Tyler drowned the fire with water from the stream and then shoveled dirt on it. He'd already put Nicholas in the tent, they climbed in with him, trying to be quiet. Tyler called Cassie and zipped her into the vestibule, where he'd put her dog bed. 

'Put Nicholas in the middle," he said, 'it's going to get cold tonight." He took the woolen hat off his head and put it on Nicholas'. 

They zipped their sleeping bags up and lay down. When Tyler turned his headlamp off it was so dark that she couldn't make anything out. 

She felt his hand on her face. He stroked her hair back and then traced her features. His thumb moved over her eyebrow then across her cheek. It moved over her nose and passed over her lips sending tingles down her spine. He fingered her ear lightly before stroking over her neck and then taking his hand away. 

'Thank you for coming Maya," he whispered. 

'Thank you for inviting me," she whispered back.

The tent was bathed in a soft grey light when she woke up, it must have been early. Someone was up, she heard the whir of a zipper and movement, the soft low murmur of parents trying not to wake a child. 

She looked over at Tyler. He was awake and watching her, lying on his side. Nicholas was still asleep between them, he was snuggled into Tyler's chest. 

'Gray?" Sam's voice was low, tentative. 

Cassie's tail beat on the ground in the vestibule. 

Tyler rolled Nicholas away from him carefully and sat up. He unzipped the interior door and then the exterior one. She heard Cassie whining her morning greeting to Sam. 

Tyler was still half in his sleeping bag, leaning out of the tent. His broad shoulders tapered sharply to narrow hips, she could see the toned muscles of his back flexing with his movements. The cold morning air flowed in through the door and she saw a glimpse of Sam's legs squatting just outside. 

'Oh. Sorry." Sam said. 

'It's okay, Nicholas is in here too."

'You don't mind?"

She saw Tyler shake his head and then he had Gracie in his arms. She was still asleep and wrapped in blankets with a warm hat on her head.

'Take Cassie with you," Tyler said.

Sam zipped the exterior door back up as Tyler lay back down with Gracie. Now they had two children between them. 

'Where's he going?" She asked. 

'Far enough away so that we wont hear them."

'Oh." It took her a second to understand, Sam and Emma were going far enough away to have sex without worrying about being heard. 'But she's seven months pregnant."

Tyler smiled at her and made a shrugging motion. 

Gracie stirred, she was pressed against Tyler and his shoulder movement caused her to open her eyes. She wasn't awake, she wore that blank expression that can turn into consciousness or can fall away back into sleep. 

'Shh, devochka moya, sleep baby." He cooed to her. 

Grace's eyelids stuttered and fell closed. 

Maya was lying on her side facing Tyler. He stared at her contentedly. She stared back at him. 

'I love you Maya," he said softly.

Maya's heart swelled in her chest and she felt her lips spread into a smile. 'I love you too Tyler," she whispered back to him. 

He smiled. He had such a beautiful smile. 

'Did you already know?" He asked.

She nodded. 

'Good. I want you to feel it more than hear it."

She gazed at him, trying to memorize this moment, imprinting him on her heart. 

'I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about Nicholas. I should have told you how I felt earlier. I shouldn't have left things the way they were," he said. 

'It's okay Sashka. I guess I knew he would be a problem, I was putting off talking about it too." She paused, the next thing to do was to talk about it, as unappealing as that was. 'So, how do you want to do this?"

'I thought about it a lot and I've decided that I want to try. I don't know if I'll be any good at it, but I want to try and be a father figure for him." He looked so earnest as he spoke.

Maya smiled, she wasn't expecting this. He'd changed his mind. His lack of self-confidence was endearing, Tyler would be an amazing father, he was so warm and playful.

'But I'm scared Maya. He's not mine, what if something happens between us and you take him away from me?"

She hadn't thought of it that way. She couldn't imagine ever wanting to leave Tyler, but she guessed that in his mind it was a valid concern. 'I wouldn't do that to you Tyler," she tried to reassure him. 

'What if you decide to move back to Massachusetts to be closer to your family?"

She hadn't thought of that either. She didn't want to move now, but she liked having the option open. 

'Couldn't we make that decision together?" She asked. 

He shook his head, 'I have to be here for at least two more years, until the Olympics."

Two years wasn't so long, it was only a year longer than she was prepared to give him to get his act together. 'I can give you two years here. I can guarantee that I wont move in the next two years, after that we can decide together."

He smiled, he looked relieved. 'Okay, I can work with that."

'Why did you change your mind?" She asked.

He told her about what Sam had said about not knowing what he was doing most of the time, and then he told her about Hailey and George. 

'At first I thought it was a horrible abusive relationship, not physically abusive but emotionally. He was such an asshole to her, swearing and bossing her around all the time, but then I realized that they're just different. They still love each other, they have a strong bond, they just interact differently. She swears like a sailor but that doesn't make her a bad kid, and he's a grumpy shit but that doesn't make him a bad father. I guess I realized that there is no right or wrong way, everyone's different."

She wanted to kiss him but there were two sleeping children in between them, the best she could do was to kiss the back of his hand. 

That day they drove to a huge meadow high up in the mountains. Tyler pulled over at a vantage point and they admired the view of the field and the peaks around them. A van pulled up behind them and a load of college students got out with maps and compasses. 

'Look Sam, geologists!' Exclaimed Josh. 

Sam smiled and shook his head. 

'Sam hates geologists," Tyler told her. 

Despite Sam's reported dislike of geologists they wandered over and listened to the professor give a lecture on the scenery. Apparently they were standing in something called a caldera. He was pointing out the mountain in front of them, Redondo Peak, it was called a resurgent dome. 

Sam asked a thousand questions, he was like a kid in a candy store. He got into a discussion with the professor about the viscosity of magma and the influence of bubble formation on the frequency and severity of eruptions. Maya wasn't following the discussion, she couldn't figure out why they were talking about magma, isn't that what came out of volcanoes? 




2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15



The professor exchanged business cards with Sam before he finally loaded the students back into the van and drove away. 

'I thought you said you hated geologists?" She asked him. 

'That one was a desk geologist, it's the field ones I can't stand."

'Why?"

Sam looked around to see where the kids were, they were playing with rocks at the edge of the field, out of ear shot. 

'Well, we used to go into the backcountry a lot before we had kids. It's peaceful in the backcountry, you start to relax. You've been hiking for days, you think you're alone...'

Emma started laughing. 

Sam smiled at her and continued '...You think it might be safe to enjoy your wife in the ways that nature had intended...'

'And in ways that it hadn't," Josh interjected. Emma hit him in the arm, but she was still laughing. 

Sam rolled his eyes. '... but just when you're getting comfortable I can assure you that around the next corner is a fucking geologist."

Maya couldn't help but laugh. It made everyone laugh to hear Sam say fuck. 

'And they're not shy either. When they see you they're all smiles and handshakes and wanting to tell you all about the map they're making or the samples they're collecting. They are completely socially retarded. You feel like telling them, 'Can't you see I'm trying to fuck my wife here?" But it wouldn't make any difference, it's like they're another species or something."

Everyone was in hysterics, Sam was being so uncharacteristically funny. 

'Fucking geologists," he said, shaking his head. 

They hiked a short way to the top of a hill to get a better view.

'Can you translate for me what the professor said Sam?" Maya asked. 

'We're in an old volcano. See how there are peaks all the way around us?" He asked as he pointed out the mountaintops that encircled them. 

'Uh-huh." 

'That's the outer rim of the volcano. About a million years ago this would have been a huge swollen mountain that erupted and spewed ash and pumice from its magma chamber out all over the region. Once the magma chamber was empty the top of the mountain collapsed down into itself. That's why there's a big circular valley here."

Maya looked around her. This didn't look like a volcano to her. It was beautiful and peaceful and serene, it was weird to think that it was created through such violence. 

Tyler took her hand as they walked back to the vehicles, he was carrying Nicholas. He leaned down and kissed her on her lips in a friendly, uninhibited way.

When they were back at the campsite that afternoon, and Nicholas and Gracie were in Sam and Emma's tent taking their nap, Josh and Tyler got out their guitars and started playing. 

They fit together seamlessly. Their fingers worked over the strings plucking, strumming and sliding over the notes, they looked up at each other every now and then, talking without saying any words. Every now and then one of them would laugh and the other would smile in recognition of some old joke that he'd just touched on. The music ebbed and flowed. They weren't playing anything in particular, they were just taking turns, one would back for a while and the other would dictate the melody, and then they'd swap. It was like listening to a flow of conscience.

After a while Josh looked up at her. 'Dance for us Maya?"

She was surprised, she hadn't been expecting a request like that. Tyler had asked her a lot about dancing but he'd never pushed her to show him. Josh was much more direct. 

'I don't have anything to dance in. All I have is jeans and sneakers."

'You didn't bring a swimsuit?"

'Yes."

'How is that different from a leotard?"

She looked at Emma, hoping for some sort of a cue, but her face was blank. She was sitting in Sam's lap, his arms folded around her huge pregnant belly. Maya hadn't told Emma that she used to dance, Josh and Tyler were the only ones who knew. 

She had to admit that she kind of wanted to. She hadn't danced in ages. She stretched and did some basic exercises daily but she hadn't put anything together for a long time. 

She looked at Tyler. 'Would that be weird?" She asked.

'I don't think so."

'Okay." She would do it. She would dance for them. 

Josh smiled at her. 'What do you want me to play?"

'I don't know, something easy. Something short, I'm not fit."

He started playing the theme from Swan Lake. 

She laughed. 'Absolutely not. How about some Vivaldi? Something that I can think forward in, maybe something from the Four Seasons?"

'Hey yeah, Emma did you bring your violin?" He asked. 

Tyler had to admit to himself that he was excited. The only time he'd seen Maya dance was years ago, he'd wanted to ask her but he'd been afraid to ask. 

'Tyler?" She was looking at him as she twisted her hair into bun and secured it with a hair tie. She'd changed into her swimsuit and a tank top. 'I need a barre to stretch, can you help?"

'Um, sure." He got up and gave his guitar to Zach. 'What do you want me to do?"

She positioned him the way she wanted, with his arms folded and held out in front of him. 'Just hold still," she told him. 

She started stretching. At first she just did regular stretches, things that he recognized. She held onto his arms lightly for balance. Then she started really stretching. She propped her foot up on his shoulder and folded her body over her leg, grabbing and pulling her foot, her head resting on her shinbone. 

Then she lifted her leg straight up beside her head. Her legs were so long that foot was above his head and her arm twisted around it, pushing it backwards. He could only imagine the view that Josh would be getting right now. 

He looked over at Josh, he was fiddling with the violin, pretending to tune it even though he'd already done that, purposefully looking away. Sam and Emma were the ones with their jaws on the ground. 

He couldn't blame them, even from his angle it was an amazing sight. From where he was standing he could just make out the edge of her soft inner thigh that was exposed fully for the world to see. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to run his hand up and down her soft flesh. Oh shit, he had better be careful, he was getting turned on. 

Maya turned and stretched the other leg in the same way, then she walked away to the SUV. She came back with a pair of thick woolen socks. She took her shoes off and put the socks on. She did the same stretch again but now she pointed and flexed her feet while they were above her head. 

'Better," she said. 

She stretched her back. She stretched her sides. She stretched her shoulders. She stretched her feet.

She stood side on to him on one foot, leaned down and raised the other leg behind her and over towards her head. She grabbed it with her free hand and pulled it down while arching her head back towards the back of her thigh. 

'You're dangerously close to being able to kiss your own ass," Josh joked. 

Maya was looking at Tyler and she smiled. She was in the middle of some ridiculous stretch, there was a leg between them at some unfathomable angle and she was smiling at him. Tyler couldn't help but think of the options that this remarkable flexibility would open up to them. 

The stretching took quite some time and then she needed him to stay standing there while she did her warm up exercises. She faced away from him and held onto his elbows while she swung her legs back and forth, from the ground to the sky, one at a time. Each time they came to the top of their arch they stopped just short of her ear. Then she turned around and held onto him with both hands and jumped lightly on her toes. He looked down to see what she was doing. Her feet were moving with such speed and precision. They were passing by each other back and forth, forth and back. Each time she landed gracefully for a split second before she was in the air again. 

She stretched a little more and then finally she was ready to dance. She was already slightly puffed and a light layer of sweat beaded on her forehead. Tyler went sat back down in his camp chair.

'Okay, did you choose one?" She asked Josh. 

'Yeah, I remember the tune but I don't know which one it is. I can never keep them all straight." He started playing the piece. 

'I think that's part of winter," she said as she stretched her feet, pushing the top of one foot into the ground by stepping on its arch with her opposite foot.

'Yeah, I think so too, it's the third bit, the ice storm," Tyler agreed as he sat back down in his camp chair. 

'Okay, just give me a second." She walked around the space that she had to dance in, sweeping her arms around, owning the space. 

All of a sudden she was on. She was on her toes on one foot, the other leg extended straight behind her and her arms held gracefully in front of her, palms inwards. She was staring into the distance, her shoulders held back and her long neck extended.

Josh started the piece. 

It started off soft and pretty. She moved slowly, twisting and turning her body upright. She glided around the stage, moving sideways, her feet light and barely touching the ground, her arms floating around her in practiced precision, her head following in a graceful arch. Then she swept around the space in large steps, her feet pointing outwards, her palms upwards towards the sky. 

In perfect time with the change in the music, she collapsed to the ground, facing away from them, her head bowed. Her arms were above her, she moved them independently, it seemed that the movement came from her shoulder blades. From this angle Tyler could see the vertebrae under her skin. The movement of her skin over her bones gave the impression of raindrops falling on her. It was clever and beautiful. 

She rose to her feet as she continued the shoulder movement. She raised her chin and looked to the sky. She had come to the part of the piece that was supposed to signify freezing rain. Staccato notes stung the air. Maya's movements where sharp, precise. She jumped quickly and fit an impossible number of foot movements in before landing again only to move immediately into the next complicated maneuver. 

She swung her leg straight up behind her and dipped her arms and body forward when there was a dramatic turn in the music. She turned expertly to keep her balance, and swung into a series of turns, her arms in front of her, one leg extending then crossing in front of her with each turn to maintain the motion. The foot she was turning on thumped onto the ground and resumed its arched pointed position in time with the crescendo of Josh's violin. Her face was always towards them, she turned her head so quickly and so accurately that if you squinted it looked like her face was still. It was dramatic and breathtaking. 

The piece built towards the end, she ran across her stage and leapt into the air, her leading leg straight and the rear leg bent upwards, her back arched so that she was looking up into the sky. She landed gracefully, and turned into another jump, this time twisting her body in mid air. She rushed towards them, ending on one knee, her arms outstretched. She was looking at him. She was looking him straight in the eye. 

The last note faded and she collapsed into a gasping, huffing, puffing fit. She thudded heavily onto the ground on her butt and grabbed her sides, keeled over as if in pain. She had looked so perfect when she was dancing, you would never have known that she was exerting herself at all. She pulled her socks off and started rubbing her feet. After a little while her breathing settled down.

'Wow, I am so unfit," she said. 

Everyone else was still speechless. Sam's mouth was gaping open.

'That was beautiful Maya," Tyler said. 

'Yeah, amazing," Josh agreed.

She smiled. 'Thanks. You can't judge me too harshly, I don't have shoes and the floor isn't really a floor. That, and like I said, I'm horribly unfit."

Josh put Emma's violin back in its case and picked up his guitar again. 

'That was nice Josh, thanks. How many instruments can you play?" She asked.

'Um, I don't know, a couple. Most of them are pretty similar when it comes down to it." 

He started strumming the guitar, adding some background music. 

'Hey, your feet are like Gray's," Emma said, finally finding her voice as she pointed at Maya's foot. Maya was pointing and flexing and rubbing it.

Maya looked up at him and squinted her eyes as if to ask him to confirm. 

Tyler slipped his foot out of his flip-flop and pointed it towards her. He had freakish feet, it was a large part of the reason he was such a good swimmer. They were huge and they were extremely flexible. 

Maya crawled towards him on her hands and knees and took his foot into her hands. She manipulated it, stretching and flexing and determining his range of motion. 

She gasped when she saw how far over he could point his toe.

Josh laughed at her. 'You just like them because they're so big," he teased. 

She looked at him with a sly smile. 'Well, you know what they say about men with big feet?"

'What?" Josh said, challenging her to say it out loud.

'They wear big shoes."

Josh threw his head back and laughed. 

Maya picked up his other foot and examined it in the same way as the first. 'Sasha...' she said in awe. 

Josh's hand slipped on the fretboard and a horrible disharmonious chord came from his guitar. He looked up sharply at Maya. 

He knew what Josh's problem was. Tyler hadn't let anyone call him Sasha since he was thirteen years old, not even their mother, occasionally she'd slip in a Sashenka when she thought she could get away with it, but never in front of other people. It had been his childhood pet name that he'd decided to leave behind when he'd hit puberty. It was a coincidence that Maya had chosen it for him, he'd given her all the other options first on purpose, but he liked it. He liked hearing it in her voice.

Maya didn't notice that Josh was staring at her, she was still examining his feet. 'You never told me that you have perfect arches."

Tyler was amused by her attention. 'I never knew I did." 

She smiled up at him with a look of pure lust. Her eyes were so hot and needy, it made Tyler's cock twitch in his pants just to sit and look at her. Her long legs splayed out naked in the dirt, her hairline damp with perspiration, his feet in her hands. He wanted her now. 

'Want to go to the hot springs?" He asked her. 

'Sure."

Tyler looked over at Sam and Emma. Sam had at least closed his mouth, but he still looked shell-shocked. 'Do you mind watching Nicholas?" He asked.

'No, that's fine," Emma said. 

Tyler jumped to his feet and pulled Maya up by her hand. 'Come on," he urged her. 

They got in the SUV, it was all Tyler could do to stop himself from doing a burnout he was so eager to get out of camp. He would take her to the hot springs eventually, but right now he had other things on his mind, right now he just needed to find somewhere quiet and secluded. 

He turned up a jeep trail that didn't really look like it went anywhere. It was a wooded area, mostly ponderosa pines, the air was thick with their dry earthy vanilla scent. The jeep trail vanished in front of them. Perfect. He pulled off into the trees, they were widely spaced, they were high in the wet part of New Mexico, but it was still the desert, trees didn't grow close together here the way they did further North. 

'I don't see any hot springs Sasha," she said, smiling at him. 

God she was beautiful. He had never felt anything so profound as the way his heart ached when he looked at Maya. 

'Say it again," he said. 

'What?"

'Say my name again."

She smiled as she climbed over the center console into his lap. It was cramped. The seat was already pushed as far back as it could go. She crammed into the space between him and the steering wheel.

'Sasha...' she whispered to him, 'Sasha baby, make love to me."

He kissed her while they fumbled with each other's clothes, their arms banging against the windscreen and the ceiling. She tried to move back to get to his pants and her butt pressed up against the horn. She just about jumped out of her skin in fright. He laughed and she started giggling. 

He leaned back in and kissed her again, pushing her backwards on to the horn again. He had his hands on her ribs, just below her armpits and he could feel the vibrations of her laughter. 

'Back seat?" He asked.

She nodded and clambered over into the back seat. He could probably make it back there the same way that she did but he needed to get a condom out of his bag in the back anyway so he got out and went to the rear door. She peaked over the headrest to watch him while he rifled through his bag to find what he needed. She was smiling at him. He found them and threw one to her. 

He climbed back into the SUV and over the backseat to her. He had managed to get her tank top and bikini top off when they were in the front seat and now she was reclined across the back seat, petite and perfect in just her bikini bottom, smiling up at him. His cock was rock solid. 

She reached her arms up for him, 'Kiss me Sashka?" 

He leaned down and kissed her deeply. Her fingers were in his hair, he could hear the crinkle of the condom packet that she still held in her hand. 

When he pulled back she spoke. 'You take good care of me Tyler," she said seriously, looking deep into his eyes. 

He understood what she was talking about. Protection. Deceived was the word she'd used when she'd talked about how she'd gotten pregnant, he would never do that to her. Sure condoms were a pain in the ass, but Tyler wasn't the sort of guy who was so concerned with his own gratification that he would throw caution to the wind. He loved Maya, but that didn't mean he wanted to impregnate her. If they had more children it would be because together they chose to. 

He kissed her again, gently. 'Of course Maya, I will always take care of you."

She looked up at him, trusting him, her blue eyes steady and calm. And then she smiled. Her hands came to his waistband and she tried to unbutton his shorts.

He tried to sit back to help her and banged his head on the ceiling. Trying to have sex in a car was really difficult, he didn't know how teenagers did it. 

'Let me ask you something," she said with a mischievous grin. 'Are you afraid of geologists?"

He laughed. 'Mayechka, everyone is afraid of geologists, but you can't let them stop you from living your life."

He heard the door open behind him. He turned, surprised, thinking for a split second that one of the bastards must be there, but then he realized that she'd opened it with her foot. She pushed it open.

He backed out and stood up, moving out of the way so that she could get out too.

'Wait," she said. 'Come back here." 

He came back around to the door. She grabbed him by his pants and pulled him closer. She undid them and pushed them down along with his underwear. 

His cock was already hard, he was ready for her but she seemed to want to pamper him. This was the first time she'd done this to him. She'd touched him a few times, but she'd always seemed hesitant, almost like she was afraid of it. He didn't want to push her. 

She was shy, she acted like she didn't really know what to do with it, it was so arousing, she seemed so innocent. She kissed it, just little kisses at first on his shaft and then the head. She kept on looking up at him, as if she needed his reassurance, it was so sexy the way she did that. He stroked her face with one hand while he held onto the frame of the car with the other, he didn't trust his legs right now. 

She took him into her mouth and he moaned. It was so warm and wet in there. Her soft tongue stroked over him as she moved her head back and forth over the top of his penis. She wasn't getting his entire length, but that didn't matter, it felt like heaven. She pulled back and started licking him. She held him gently with one hand at the base of his shaft and licked up the sides and over his head. She looked up at him. Oh god, she was amazing. His cock was throbbing with pleasure, his head felt giddy. 




2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15



He encircled her hand with his and squeezed, moving it up and down slowly, showing her how he liked it. She caught on and continued stroking him without his assistance. She replaced her mouth over his cock and started to suck on him while pumping him with her hand. He could feel her tongue moving over him inside her mouth. 

'Oh Maya...' he moaned. She smiled up at him and he came dangerously close to squirting cum all over her face. 

He took a step backwards, away from her. Anymore of this and there would be nothing left for her. 

He held his hands out for her and she stood. 

'Ouch," she said. She wasn't wearing any shoes and the ground was rocky with a layer of dry pine needles that would be prickly.

He grinned. 'Will you let me carry you now? There are no staircases for me to injure you on out here."

She smiled and held her arms out for him. He scooped her up and walked her to the front of the vehicle, her arms draped around his neck. Even if she claimed that she didn't like to be carried, Tyler didn't mind admitting that he liked carrying her. There was something primal about it, some part of his brain that lit up when she was in his arms like this, submitting to him, giving him control.

He pressed her up against the hood of the vehicle, it would be just the right height. She scooted her butt backwards so that she was sitting and opened her legs to let him in close to her. Her arms were still wrapped around his neck. He kissed her again as his hands roamed over her bare skin, her beautiful tanned skin. He kissed her face and neck and shoulders while she murmured to him. 

'Sasha, you're so good to me baby... I love you Tyler."

He came back to her face and looked into her eyes. They were full of emotion, glazed over with tears. 

'I love you too Maya," he told her. They looked at each other for long seconds, neither one wanting to break the moment. Tyler brought his hand to her face and stroked her cheek. He was so in love with this woman. 

She laid back and he drank in her beauty. She looked so amazing in the afternoon sunlight. Her skeleton was so delicate, it was visible in small ways, the dip of her clavicles, the whisper of her ribcage, the edges of her hipbones that stood out under her bikini. 

He could see the corner of the condom packet under her bikini. He slipped it out and left it on the hood and peeled her swimsuit away. It was wet with her juices. Like everything else about Maya, her pussy was full of beauty and grace, and right now it was swollen and covered with her wetness, her desire for him. 

He lifted her leg and kissed down the soft skin of her inner thigh, the skin that had so aroused him back at the campsite. He licked around her pussy, lapping at her lips, tasting her. He kissed her clitoris softly, eliciting a moan. He used his thumbs to rub up and down over her outer labia while he licked her inner lips, finding her entrance and lapping at her sweet fluids. 

He moved his face away and slid his fingers inside her. He pressed upwards on her, looking for her g-spot by watching her face. Her breath caught and her brow furrowed. Got it. He stroked back and forth over it and she moaned. Her eyes were closed and her head turned to the side, revealing the tendon in her neck that arched up to her cute little pixie ear. 

He could tell she was starting to get worked up, she was moaning and breathing quickly, her arms above her head. He reached up and grabbed the condom packet with his free hand and tore it open with his teeth, being careful not to catch the rubber. He found the edge of it with his lips and let the packaging drop to the ground. He needed his other hand for this, so he slid his fingers out of her pussy and grabbed the condom from his lips quickly before leaning his face down and replacing his lips on her pussy, kissing and licking her again. 

He put the condom on without looking, he just glanced down once to check that it was all good before he brought it to the entrance of her vagina. 

She cried out when he pushed his cock inside her. God she was so tight, so little, she felt amazing. He felt the resistance of her muscles but there was no such resistance on her face, she was his, she had given herself over to him. 

He gave her a second to adjust to him. He knew she liked his cock, she had told him as much through the orgasms it had given her, but it could be a bit overwhelming for her. She hadn't had him in five weeks, she may have forgotten what it was like. 

Five weeks too long, he thought. 

He felt the pulse of her pussy around him and he knew that she was ready. He pushed in and out of her, gently at first, letting it build slowly until he was pumping her at a nice pace, her small breasts jiggling in time with his thrusts. He let his hands glide over her body, cupping and squeezing her breasts, caressing over her waist, teasing her clit a little bit, then stroking up and down her magnificent long legs. 

Maya was looking at him while she moaned softly, her arms splayed out across the hood. She lifted her arms up towards him and he leaned down to her.

'Sasha baby, let me be on top. I want to make love to you."

He wouldn't argue with that. He slipped his arms under her shoulders, picked her up and turned around. His butt was against the front of the vehicle and his cock was still inside her. She held onto his neck while he used his arms to get himself into a sitting position on the hood. The suspension sagged and he felt the metal bow under his weight, but he was beyond caring if they damaged the vehicle. He slid himself backwards and laid back on the hood. 

Maya sat on top of him, riding his cock. She started moving over him, back and forth. Her hands were on either side of his head and she leaned down and kissed him. She kissed his mouth and his cheeks and along his brow. She murmured to him as she kissed him. 'Sasha, one day I will kiss every freckle on your beautiful body...' 

God she had an amazing sense of rhythm, her hips were driving him insane. She wasn't just going back and forward anymore she was going up and down and rolling in the most amazing way. She was starting to breathe harder. 

'Oh Sasha... you feel so good baby... oh... I need you...'

She pushed off her hands and sat up straight, still moving and squeezing her pussy over his cock. She increased her pace and emphasized the up and down motion. Tyler was in heaven, she felt so good, she was spoiling him rotten. 

Her face was contorted in pleasure and she was panting and moaning in an unreserved way. Her cheeks were flushed and wisps of her hair had fallen around her face and were stuck to her skin by her perspiration. She looked so amazing and she was moaning for him. She was calling out his name. 

'Sasha baby... god, you're so good... feels so good...'

She altered her pumping action so that she was grinding her pelvis into him, his cock buried deep inside her.

'Ah baby... I'm close Sasha... I need it baby...'

Tyler was holding on for dear life. He wanted to hold out for her. He needed to look away, if he was going to last he needed to look away, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He felt the tension in his balls. Oh shit he was going to cum, there was nothing he could do to stop it now, it was coming.

Miraculously, as if on cue, Maya's eyes squeezed shut and her mouth opened in one final cry as she ground her pelvis into him and the walls of her pussy came crashing around him, squeezing every last drop of cum out of him. 

She collapsed on top of him. She was panting hard, her lungs expanding rapidly, sucking in oxygen. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back, feeling her relax as she came back down. 

She was so amazing, so beautiful. He had never seen or heard anything like that before. She had been so uninhibited, so lustful for him. 

'Maya, you were so good baby," he breathed. 

'Mmm...' She moaned in reply. 

'Mayechka, the most beautiful woman in the word," he murmured. 'I can't believe I get to make love with you. How did I get so lucky?"

She picked up her head and smiled and kissed him. 'I missed you so much Tyler," she confessed. 

'I missed you too."

They were silent for a while and then he remembered her gift. 'I brought you back a present," he told her. 

She smiled. 'A present? But it's not my birthday."

'How old are you?" He asked. He'd never even thought about that before, he'd just assumed she was the same age as him. 

'Twenty-six."

He smiled, 'Well then, I guess I missed twenty-six of your birthdays, which means I get to give you twenty-six presents without needing a reason." 

She laughed. 'How old are you?"

'Twenty-four."

'That's not old. You said on the TV that you were getting old."

'It is old for swimming. I probably only have another two or three good years left in me... Let me get your present."

She rolled off him. He stood and walked around the back of the vehicle and searched through his bag until he found her gift. He hoped that she would like them. He thought they were beautiful, but there were some colors that he couldn't see so he'd had to trust the woman in the store. 

She was sitting up when he came back to her. 

'Okay, I have a disclaimer before I give these to you. You know I'm color blind so I had to trust a little old lady with a very thick Australian accent who I couldn't understand very well. She told me that they were brown and I can see brown so hopefully what I'm seeing is what you'll see."

He handed her the box. He hadn't wrapped it. 

She opened the lid and gasped. He hoped that was a good gasp. 

She looked up at him, 'Tyler, they're beautiful."

'They are?"

She nodded as she looked back down at them.

He was relieved. 'Oh good, I hoped so. They are brown, right?" 

She smiled. 'Yes, the diamonds are brown. The pearls are cream though, but you knew that right?"

'Yeah I can see cream."

'Do you want to see them on?"

Tyler nodded. She had him hold the box while she took out the little gold earrings that she was wearing and replace them with the ones he'd given her. They looked even better on her than he had hoped. The small brown diamonds sparkled in her ears just the right amount, not too flashy, but not dull, and the pearls dangled at exactly the right length to accentuate the curve of her long neck. She made them look good. 

He smiled. 'You're gorgeous Maya." He stood back, taking her in. 'This is what I'm going to think about every time you wear those earrings. You, naked, sitting on the hood of an SUV in the middle of the forest after we've just made love."

She smiled and held her arms out for him. 'Thank you Sasha, they're beautiful," she said as he stepped into her embrace. She held onto him, their skin sticking together from her perspiration. 

'Do you still want to go to the hot springs?" He asked. 

'Do we have time?" 

He looked at his watch. 'I think so." It was only three o'clock, Zach wouldn't start cooking dinner until five. Sam could watch Nicholas for a while, he owed him for this morning, not that Tyler kept score. 

It was a short hike into the hot springs, but they'd left the campsite so quickly that Maya didn't have any shoes. Tyler piggybacked her in. The trail was well worn and muddy in places from small springs that leaked out of the ground.

'I changed my name back," she told him. 

'You did? Do you feel more feminist now?" He teased her, but he was secretly pleased. 

'Um... I'm not sure about feminist, but I feel like I've regained part of my identity."

'What about having the same name as Nicholas?"

'I changed his too."

'You did?" Tyler was surprised. 

'Yes, he is Nicholas Chandrasekhar Galloway now."

'What made you decide to do that?"

'Sam's mom Judy. I talked to her about it and she told me that I should do whatever I thought would make my life the easiest. That, and she's not a huge fan of Hamid or his parents." 

'Sam's mom? Are you sure she's a good person to be taking advice from?" Tyler didn't like the idea of Maya being buddy-buddy with Judy, she wasn't a woman to be trusted. 

'Actually yes. She is surprisingly insightful. She has a lot of common sense and she's very practical. She helped me to organize my kitchen cupboards."

The thought of Maya's kitchen cupboards made him smile, but he didn't feel comfortable with Judy messing around with them. 'I don't know Maya, I'd be careful if I were you."

'Oh really? You want to know what she thinks of you?"

'Not really, I'm sure it's not complementary."

'You're wrong. She likes you. She thinks you're a good egg. She told me that she thought Sam was lucky to have you as a friend. When you were away and I didn't know where things stood between us she told me to give you a year to get your act together." 

'A year?" That seemed like a long time. 'You were prepared to wait for me for a year?"

'Of course. I love you Tyler, in my mind I said a year but in practice I'd probably wait longer."

Tyler thought about it. He'd wait a year for Maya. He'd wait many years for her if he had to. Maybe he had been judging Judy too harshly?

'What does she think of Sam and Emma?"

'She is heartbroken. The only way she can deal with it is if she admits that Emma isn't her daughter, so she feels like she has to try and forget the mother-child bond. It must be tremendously difficult for her. I mean, you've seen how Emma and Gracie are together, they're not genetically related but they are mother and daughter. Imagine if you told Emma she wasn't Gracie's mom? I think that if you are a good person, once you make the decision to take on the commitment of being a parent it is very difficult to reverse it.

'Don't get me wrong, I don't condone what Judy's done, I'm just saying that I can see how it has been difficult for her." 

Maya was amazing. She was so compassionate. Tyler had always thought that Judy was a wicked bitch who wanted to break Sam and Emma up because she had some sick and twisted version of morality. He'd never thought about it from her point of view before. 

Maya was delighted with the hot springs. She'd never been to natural ones before and these ones were pretty good. There were a series of sandy bottomed pools that visitors had build up with rounded river cobbles, from the hottest one close to the spring, trickling down to the warm ones and then the coolest ones before the water finally trickled into the stream that ran close by.

Of course Maya wanted to sit in the hottest pool. He had known. When they had taken showers together he'd had to ask her to turn the heat down. Maya didn't like to wash her skin, she liked to scald it. 

After scorching herself for a while she came and sat with him in what she called the 'luke-warm pool for pussies'. 

'That's not very feminist of you," he told her with a shake of his head.

They snuggled and chatted and touched each other until he had to carry her off into the woods to make love to her again. It was not private enough at the hot springs, beside which it was poor etiquette to have sex in a hot spring pool. 

Later, when they got back to camp, Nicholas came running to them. He wanted to show them the bugs in the creek. He recited an extraordinary list of facts about the creek and the bugs as he pointed at them. Tyler looked at Sam who had been the one watching him. 

'Kid's got a mind like a steel trap," Sam said. 

Tyler smiled. 'Yeah, I know." There was a funny sense of joy that he was getting from watching Nicholas and listening to him talk. It was pride. He was proud of him. 

They built the fire up and did all of the cheesy campfire things that you do when there are kids around. They roasted marshmallows and made smores, they played music and sang. 

He and Josh refused to play kumbaya, there were limits to how low they would sink. Instead they sang 'We all live in a Yellow Submarine." Tyler passed his guitar to Zach and Josh showed him the chords to play. Nicholas crawled into his lap and asked him a thousand questions about submarines. 

Tyler was tired when they finally crawled into the tent. He spooned into Maya's back and she held Nicholas in front of her. He was happy. 

He thought about what Maya had said earlier when she was talking about adopted children. She'd said that once you make the decision to become a parent it is very difficult to reverse it. He knew in his heart that he had already made that decision. He made it when he was looking at that Illawarra Flame in Sydney. This was his family now, the two most important people in the world. 

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Ah fuck, Monday afternoon again. Tyler needed to sit in a room with the entire office and listen to Maya like he needed a punch in the face. He needed a new job. 

Maya was the most amazing, fantastic, wonderful thing that had ever happened to him and it was getting harder and harder to pretend that wasn't the case while at work. It had been two months since he got back from the world championships, two months since they had been together for real, and every single day in the office had been like a tightrope walk. He had to concentrate so hard to not look at her, to not watch her, to pretend that she was just his boss. 

Everyone filed into the conference room. There was chatting and joking and general atmosphere of functionality. It was amazing how much the place had changed since Maya became their general manager.

Tyler sat in his usual seat, the second from the far end facing the window. She was talking about the Medevice project, the medical hardware company that she'd won a big contract with. It wasn't moving as quickly as she would have liked, she wanted to move some people around, increase the man hours on it. 

Suddenly his phone was buzzing in his pocket. Shit, he had told Sam to text him if Emma went into labor, not phone him. The room went silent and everyone was looking at him, including Maya. He took it out and was about to silence it when he saw the caller ID, it wasn't Sam, it was Nicholas' day care. What could be wrong?

'I'm sorry, I have to take this," he mumbled as he got out of his chair and left the room, pulling the door shut behind him. Maya looked pissed but what could he do? He couldn't ignore a call from Nicholas' day care, what if there was something wrong? 

He spoke to Loretta, the lady in charge down there. He had gotten to be quite buddy-buddy with the staff at the day care over the past eight weeks. He'd taken time off swimming after the world championships, leaving him with plenty of free time, so dropping off and picking up Nicholas had become his job for the time being. Loretta told him that Nicholas had been feeling sick all day and that he had started vomiting after lunch. She wanted him to come and pick him up. 

'Okay, that's fine Loretta, but have you spoken to his mother about this?" He asked. 

'I tried but I couldn't get through, you're listed as his secondary contact," Loretta explained. 

How should he handle this? They had discussed how to go about situations that might arise with Nicholas, and they'd talked about how to act at the office, but never about what to do if there was a situation that involved Nicholas at the office. He tried to figure out what she would want him to do but it was confusing, they were conflicting philosophies, with Nicholas it was all about openness and honesty, with work it was subterfuge and secrecy. 

What should he do? He didn't know and there was the added stress of Nicholas being sick playing on his mind. He really needed to get out of there and take care of Kolya, but he should tell Maya first. Surely Nicholas was the most important one here? Surely the honesty route was the way to go? 

She could be in that meeting for a long time, he was going to have to interrupt her. He opened the door, the entire room looked up at him. 




2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15



'Ah... I'm sorry Maya, I have to go."

'You're leaving?" She was clearly surprised. 

'Yeah, it's my kid, he's sick, I have to go get him from day care."

'Oh." He could read the concern in her face, see her mind racing. 

'It's nothing serious, I'm sure he's fine." He tried to reassure her without giving anything away to the rest of the room. 

She nodded but all of the blood had drained from her face. She was pale and she was staring at him. Shit Maya, this isn't the way we had discussed interacting in front of the rest of the staff, he thought. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to go to her but obviously that wasn't possible. Standing here staring at each other wasn't really a viable solution either. He had to go. He turned around and left. 

Maya's heart was racing as she watched Tyler walk away. Something was wrong with Nicholas. Something was wrong with him and the day care center had called Tyler instead of her. It didn't make any sense. It was too much for her to compute while she was standing in front of the entire office and trying to direct them so they'd be productive over the next week. 

'Tyler has a kid? When did that happen?" It came from Donna.

'Sneaky bastard," said Graham, 'I didn't even know he had a girlfriend."

'He doesn't, at least he didn't the last time I asked and that wasn't very long ago. He must have gotten some girl pregnant before he started working here." Donna's eyes were alight with excitement, that girl loved to gossip. 

'Okay, that's enough, we don't need to discuss the details of Tyler's private life here," she said, hoping that nobody could detect the discomfort she felt in her voice. 

Maya needed to get things back under control. She recognized that but she was having difficulty focusing. She should just get on with the job. Tyler was taking care of Nicholas, she trusted Tyler, she loved him, he would have told her if there was something seriously wrong. She should just get on with this meeting. 

She struggled and blundered and fudged her way through the rest of the meeting. As soon as she was back in her office she called him. 

'Hey," he answered. 

'What's the matter?" She launched right in.

'I think it's just a stomach bug. He threw up his lunch, says he doesn't feel good. He doesn't have a fever though, so I'm not that worried about it." 

'Where are you?"

'At your place."

'Okay." She didn't feel good. There was something uncomfortable in her stomach. 

'It's okay babe, don't worry about it, if your kid pukes they have to ask you to take him home, it's their policy."

'Okay." If your kid pukes. Exactly, if your kid pukes you go and take him home. 

'I'll cook tonight, I'm already home, I may as well."

'Okay."

'Alright, I'll see you in a few hours then."

'Okay."

He hung up. Her phone clicked and was silent beside her ear. 

What was wrong with her? Why did she feel so uncomfortable? Everything was normal, right? Nicholas just had a stomach bug and Tyler was looking after him. Just like Wednesdays, right?

But why had the day care center called Tyler and not her? Wasn't she his mother? Shouldn't she have been the one to be notified of these sorts of things? She had asked to add Tyler as a secondary caregiver because he would be picking him up and they would only release Nicholas to people who were on his list of approved guardians. She'd figured that it was no big deal. Had Tyler changed himself to be the primary caregiver? No, surely not. Why would he do something like that? No, Tyler wouldn't have done that. 

He had talked about Nicholas as if he were his own child, 'My kid is sick," he'd told the whole room full of staff. It had unnerved her. 

She still felt weird about the whole situation when she got home that night. It was the middle of October, it was already dark by the time she walked up the front path. The crisp dry air stung her eyes and made her pull her jacket around her more snuggly. 

They were napping on the couch. Nicholas was already in his pajamas, lying splayed across Tyler's chest, one of Tyler's enormous hands resting across his narrow back. A pile of storybooks lay on the floor beside them. 

It should have been a sight that made her smile, her child asleep in the arms of the man she loved, but it caused her consternation. Tyler spent more time with Nicholas than she did. Was she jealous? Was that what this feeling in her gut was? It was almost like she was nervous about something. 

She shook her head. She was being stupid. She wanted Tyler and Nicholas to have a good relationship, she wanted them both to feel safe and comfortable with each other, and it appeared that her wishes were coming true. 

She didn't know how long she had been watching them sleep when Tyler opened his eyes.

'Hey babe," his voice was low.

'Hi."

'Did you just get home?"

'Yeah." It wasn't exactly the truth but she still had her coat on and was holding her brief case in her hand so he didn't question it. 

He curled his arms around Nicholas and got up off the couch. He walked to her and leant down to kiss her hello. He smiled at her and she started to relax. She loved it when Tyler smiled at her. 

'I'll go put him down," he said.

He walked away. Maya shook her head, what was she thinking? Tyler was amazing, he was the best, she was happy. 

It didn't take her long to forget that incident. Tyler stayed over that night, he stayed over almost every night these days. He had gotten into the habit of bringing two or three days of clothes over at a time. Cassie had her own permanent dog bed at the foot of Maya's bed, sometimes she put herself to bed at night, just assuming that is where Tyler would be sleeping. 

He had one more week of vacation from swimming, they took advantage of the extra time they had together in the mornings. He still woke up around five, only instead of getting up and leaving for swimming practice he cuddled with her and kissed her and woke her up with his gentle affection. 

Most mornings they made love. He liked to do it slowly in the mornings. He liked to caress her and kiss her and press his body down on top of her, whispering to her about how much he loved her. He said silly things that made her love him, the real Tyler.  

'You know how when you're really hungry and your whole body is screaming at you to eat something? All you want in the whole world is a turkey sandwich...real turkey, not the deli stuff, on good fresh bread... and when you take that first bite it is like heaven... Well Maya, I love you more than the first bite of a turkey sandwich when I'm really hungry." 

He made her giggle. She'd never pinned herself as the sort of woman who giggled. 

The mornings were when he spoke Russian to her the most. 

'Ty moyo solnyshko, Mayechka," he murmured to her one morning.

'What does that mean?"

'You are my sun."

'I thought that was Cassie?" She teased him.

'Maya, you know you are the most important person in the world to me," he breathed. He was moving inside her, stroking her slowly. 

Sometimes comments like that brought tears to her eyes. She had never expected to fall in love like this. She was the luckiest woman alive. He would kiss away her tears, his breath hot on her face. 

His proximity was intoxicating. Not just his physical proximity, even when they weren't having sex she felt that he was inside her. He had planted all sorts of buttons within her, all sorts of triggers that he could set off. All it took was a look from Tyler and she could lose it. She could be doing anything and he could look at her a certain way, or make some comment meaningful only to them, and she would be lost, her heart erupting with emotion so strong she had to consciously tell her lungs to breathe. He lived inside of her, that's how close Tyler was. 

Emma and Sam had a baby boy on the evening of October 28. They named him Matthew and he was perfect in every way. Maya helped to look after their kids while they settled into their new routine. The men were back at swimming training, poor Emma was exhausted. 

Maya took the children in the evenings, while Tyler and Sam were at the gym. She checked Zach's homework, she played with Nicholas and Grace, she cradled and fed Matthew while Emma slept. Emma wasn't breast-feeding, Maya didn't know why and she didn't ask about it. 

Marie was working for Sam and Emma now and every night there was a dinner left in the fridge. Maya would heat it up so that it would be ready when Tyler and Sam got back from their workout. Occasionally Emma would come down and eat with them but more often than not she would sleep. 

The poor woman looked like a train wreck, she must have been exhausted. She was losing weight quickly and everything about her seemed dull. Her skin didn't glow the way it had when she was pregnant and her hair had lost its sheen. She didn't make jokes anymore and her smile didn't make it to her eyes. 

Sam insisted on taking Nicholas on Thursdays and Fridays to repay her for all the time she was spending looking after their kids in the evenings. Maya had resisted at first but then Tyler told her that Sam was under a lot of strain and feeling indebted to her was only making things worse for him, so she accepted. 

There was a dance studio in the next suburb over from them, Maya decided to enroll Nicholas in their tiny tots ballet program. He was just a few months away from turning four, which is when she had started dancing. She wasn't really expecting anything from it, but if Nicholas did decide that he wanted to dance, having early training in the basic positions, and getting a feeling for the floor and for music would give him a pretty good head start. 

Tyler seemed uncomfortable when she told him about it. 

'It's only once a week, it's not a big deal," she told him. It was just for an hour on Saturday afternoons. 

'Okay," he said tentatively. 

'Do you think it will turn him into a sissy?" She asked, struggling to keep the annoyance out of her voice. Men where such jackasses when it came to ballet.

'No, it's just that he's still so young, and that's when we have man time with Zach. I thought that you would have talked to me about it first."

Man time. It was such a typical male thing to write off ballet as something that only girls did. 

'I was four when I started dancing." She said it like a challenge, she was getting annoyed at him. 

He looked at her for a few long seconds and then shrugged his shoulders in defeat. 'Okay, whatever you want Maya." 

Judy and John, Sam's parents, were coming out over thanksgiving and Maya's parents and her sister Julia were coming down from Massachusetts too. They would all have dinner together. Maya volunteered to hold thanksgiving dinner at her house, which made Tyler laugh. 

'Mayechka, can you imagine people trying to cook in your kitchen?"

He had a point, even after Judy's help with reorganizing her shelves Maya's kitchen was beginning to slip back into a state of disorganized chaos. The dishes were clean and they found their way into cupboards but she'd lost the method. The problem was really just that she didn't care enough about it. 

No, they would have thanksgiving dinner at Emma and Sam's house. John was a good cook and Judy was a neat freak, they would make sure that it wasn't too much of a burden on them. 

Julia and her parents would stay at Tyler's place. He was completely open to having strangers live in his house for days at a time without him being there. 'What do I have to hide?" He asked with a shrug, as if giving his house up to her relatives was the most natural thing in the world. 

It was so good to see Julia. Maya loved her parents and she was glad to see them too, but it was Julia who held a special place in her heart. She was her best friend and she hadn't seen her in months. Maya wanted to spend every possible second with her. 

On the day that she got there they stayed up talking in Tyler's living room well after Tyler had taken Nicholas home to her place and their parents had gone to bed. They drank way too much wine and laughed and spluttered their way into the early hours of the morning. 

Julia told her about her new boyfriend, a builder named Robbie who she'd met snowboarding in Vermont. It didn't sound all that serious, but then Julia wasn't into serious. Apparently he had a big cock, Julia called him 'Robbie The Reamer'. 

She wanted to know about Tyler. 'So... is he as big as he looks?" She asked with a sly grin.

'Jules!' Maya exclaimed in shock.

Julia started laughing. 'Oh you're such an old prude Maya. Don't worry, you don't have to tell me, the look on your face says it all. I bet he is wicked big."

Maya couldn't help the smirk on her face. 

Julia couldn't stop laughing. 'You are so transparent! Does he know how to use it?" 

Maya wanted to tell her, she was feeling light headed from the wine and she wanted to bond with her sister. She nodded her head. 'Oh yeah, he knows how to satisfy."

Julia laughed and held her hand up for a high-five. 

Maya got so drunk that she fell asleep in Tyler's spare room on the bed with her sister. 

The next day was thanksgiving, she woke up with a searing headache. It took her a while for her to figure out where she was, she'd never slept in Tyler's spare room before. Julia was snoring beside her. Shit, it was late, it was already nine o'clock. 

She dragged herself out of bed and went downstairs. Her parents were sitting in the kitchen nook drinking coffee. Where had they gotten that from? Tyler didn't drink coffee, he didn't even own a coffee maker. 

'Maya, what are you doing here?" Her mom asked.

'I fell asleep. We drank too much wine." Her mouth was dry and sour.

'Your phone has been ringing."

Shit. Tyler was probably wondering where she was. She'd told him that she would come home to him last night. 

She put the kettle on for tea and picked up her phone, as she had expected all of the calls were from Tyler. She scrolled to his number and pressed send. 

She sat in the nook with her parents while it rang, cradling her poor head in her hand. 

'Jesus Maya, where have you been?" He answered.

'I'm at your place. I drank too much and slept here." Her head was pounding, she needed ibuprofen. 

'Well I have to take Zach to see his mom, what do you want me to do with Nicholas?"

'Can you take him with you?"

'Are you fucking kidding? No." Tyler was pissed, she could hear it in his voice. 

'Okay, no need to bite my head off."

'Well I'm sorry, but I'm not taking a three year old to the state penitentiary." 

'Prison? You're going to prison?"

'Yeah, and I'm not taking Nicholas with me."

'Okay fine, can you just bring him around here?" 

'Okay, I'll be over in a minute." He hung up without saying goodbye. 

Maya got up and found the ibuprofen in Tyler's bedside table and downed three of them. She left the bottle beside the bed where Julia was sleeping, it smelled stale in the room. 

It seemed like less than a minute before she heard a key turn in the front door and Tyler's voice as he greeted her parents. She took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. 

'Look what the cat dragged in," he said. He was smiling, she guessed that he must have decided to forget about being pissed at her for now. 

'Urgh...' she groaned. 

Nicholas was standing very close to Tyler, he didn't know her parents very well and he looked nervous. 

'Morning Nicholas," she said as she ruffled his hair. She put her arms around Tyler's neck and leaned into him. 

'Eeiw, you need to take a shower," he said. 

'Urgh... I'm hung over."

'Well you're not going to get any sympathy from me," he said but there was amusement in his tone and he rubbed her back in a comforting way. 'Do you want me to take Nicholas back over to Sam and Emma's place?" 

'Back over there? You've already been there this morning?"

'Well yeah, did you think I'd take him to the pool with me?"

Maya groaned again, she'd completely forgotten about swimming. 'I'm sorry Sasha, I wasn't thinking."

'Mm, yeah I noticed. So do you want me to take him back over there?"

'No." 

There was a pause. 

'Kolya, why don't you show grandma and grandpa your transformers? They look like transformer kind of people, don't you think?" Tyler gave Nicholas a gentle push in the direction of her parents. 

Nicholas looked up at them, worry in his big brown eyes.

'Go on champ, grandma wants to see," Tyler said softly. 

Maya's mom smiled and patted the seat beside her and Nicholas cautiously approached her. 

'How many do you have?" Her mom asked. 

'Three," Nicholas replied.

'Three! Well you are a lucky boy aren't you? Can I play with one?"

Nicholas got his transformers out of his backpack and started playing with them with her mom, showing her how they worked. 

Tyler looked at his watch. 'I've got to go. What time are you going to go around to Sam and Emma's?"

'I don't know, maybe around two?" 

'Okay, I'll see you then." He kissed her on the forehead and let go of her. 'Make sure you shower before you come over," he added, smiling at her. 

'Christine, Tom, I'll see you this afternoon. Don't let this one give you any trouble," he said pointing at Nicholas. 'Actually, just in case he gives you any cheek, let me show you his tickle spot." He strode over to where Nicholas was sitting and started tickling him under his arms, Nicholas was squealing and giggling and trying to bat Tyler's hands away. 

Tyler was smiling. 'You see, the trick is to get him right up in his armpits. Grandma, do you want to try?" He held Nicholas' arm up in the air and her mom started tickling him in his armpit. 

'Good, good... Grandpa?" Tyler held up the other arm and her dad leaned across the table and started tickling Nicholas too. 

Nicholas was in fits, he was giggling and laughing and squealing. Her parents were laughing too.

'Okay," Tyler finally said, releasing Nicholas' arms. 'Now they know your weakness so you'll have to be good," he said to him. 

Nicholas was looking up at him, beaming, her mom and dad were smiling too. Tyler was so amazing, Nicholas was infinitely more comfortable with her parents now that they had tickled him. He'd broken down the barrier between them.

Maya forewent the tea, showered and went back to bed. Even though Julia was snoring like a banshee she still fell asleep quickly and slept for a solid four hours. It was time to go over to Sam and Emma's place by the time she woke up again. She felt much better. Thank god her parents were there to look after Nicholas. 

Julia looked fresh as a spring chicken. How did she do that? She was used to alcohol, Maya supposed. As soon as they walked into Sam and Emma's house and the introductions were made Julia accepted Sam's offer of wine. Maya couldn't believe it, just the thought of wine made her stomach turn.

'Feeling a little sour?" Tyler stood behind her and put his arms around her waist. 

'I think that would be a major understatement," she replied.

Sam raised his eyebrows at her. 'Big night?"

'Another understatement."

'Oh come on Maya, you've gone soft. We used to roll wicked tight," Julia teased her. 

'Yeah, when we were like five years old I could keep up with you Jules."

Sam's dad and Zach cooked the dinner. The table was laden with a huge turkey and every side dish known to man. Maya wished that she had an appetite like Tyler's so that she could try everything. 

She sat with Julia on one side of her and her dad on the other, Nicholas was sitting across the table, between her mom and Tyler. 

Nicholas was excited. He'd never been at a table this big before. He was being stupid, he smooshed his hand in the mashed potato and then leaned over and wiped it on her mom's shirtsleeve. 

'Nicholas, no." Tyler scolded him when he saw what had happened. He wiped Nicholas' hands with a napkin. 'Do not play with your food. Either eat properly or sit still," he ordered. 




2. Illawarra Flame Ch. 13-15



Nicholas wasn't having any of it. A few minutes later he picked up a handful of cranberry jelly and threw it at her dad. It hit him right in the chest. 

'Nicholas!' She was going to scold him but Tyler had already whisked him away. He strode out of the room with Nicholas under his arm, kicking and screaming bloody murder. She heard his footsteps ascend the stairs then the screaming became muffled. She got up to follow but before she could even get out of her seat Tyler was back. 

'Sorry Tom, I didn't realize he'd do that," Tyler apologized to her dad. 

'Oh, that's not a problem," her dad replied. 

Tyler grinned. 'It was a pretty good throw though, wasn't it?"

Her dad laughed. 

Tyler sat back down and continued to eat his dinner. 

'Where did you put him?" Maya asked as she sat back down. She was shocked by how quickly that had all happened. 

'In the bathroom."

'The bathroom? That doesn't sound very safe."

Tyler looked up from his plate, he looked shocked and angry. 

'Why not Grace's room?"

Tyler didn't reply for a moment. She saw his jaw clench. 'With all her toys?"

'Well it seems safer than the bathroom." She didn't want to fight with him about it, she just didn't really want Nicholas in the bathroom on his own. He should know so that he wouldn't do it again. 

Tyler didn't reply, he just stared at her, a steely expression on his face. 

'Don't worry, I'll do it." She got up and went upstairs. Nicholas was sitting on the toilet crying, she picked him up and took him into Grace's room and then went back downstairs. 

Tyler was talking to Sam's dad about Berkeley. She tried to catch his eye but he was either completely enthralled with the conversation or he was ignoring her. She gave up and decided to talk to Julia instead. 

That's the way it went for the rest of the meal, even after he brought Nicholas back to the table. He was talking to everyone except her. He wasn't being rude, he would reply to her when she spoke to him, he just made it clear that he didn't have anything to say to her. 

After dinner, when everything was put away and cleaned up, she went looking for him. He was sitting on the couch, talking with Sam's mom Judy. Judy was holding Matthew, she was completely smitten with the child. Maya sat down beside Tyler and he put his arm around her, maybe he'd gotten over whatever was bothering him. 

The huge meal was settling in, everyone was getting drowsy.

'Home?" Tyler asked her.

'Mm."

They all walked home together. The weak grey sun was low, the shadows long. The air held a chill that cut straight to the bone. 

Maya's house was closer than Tyler's and they paused to say good night. Her parents wanted to go home but Julia was still up for more, Maya invited her to come in. 

Tyler bathed Nicholas and put him to bed and then went out for a run, all of this while Maya sat on the couch and talked to Julia. He was wearing a skin-tight long sleeved thermal undershirt with a t-shirt and a vest over it and a warm hat on his head he left for his run. It was cold outside, easily below freezing. He looked like some sort of athletic god, albeit a badly mismatched one. She couldn't believe that he could be bothered working out after that huge meal, but that was Tyler for you. 

'Okay, I have two questions," Julia said. 'First, where did you find him, and second, does he have brothers?"

Maya laughed. 'You know I found him at work, and he does have a brother but he'd be too young for you, he's only twenty one."

'I can do young. Young is fine with me." She smiled. 

'What about Robbie the Reamer?"

'What about him? Robbie and I are just placeholders, we both know that. What's his brother's name?"

'Josh."

'Hm...' Julia looked thoughtful. 'I can't think of anything clever for that name. Is he tall like Tyler?"

'He's two or three inches shorter, but obviously that's still pretty tall. He doesn't swim though, he's a musician." 

Julia's eyes lit up. 'A musician! Well, this is getting interesting. What instrument?"

'A lot of different ones, I've heard him play the guitar, the violin and the flute."

'Wicked," she breathed, 'nimble fingers and a skillful mouth." She had an evil glint in her eye.

Maya laughed and hit Julia playfully. 'You're terrible. You're completely oversexed Jules."

'Like you're not! I've seen the way you look at Tyler, don't try and tell me you're not thinking about it right now."

She was right. Maya never stopped thinking about Tyler. She wasn't actually picturing sex with him in her brain, it was more like she was feeling him, or she was remembering feeling him. 

'How about that Sam, huh?" Julia asked.

'What about Sam?"

'Oh come on, the guy is wicked good looking, he's a walking wet dream."

'And a husband and father Jules, don't even go there," Maya said seriously.

'I wasn't going to go there, besides he's a lost cause, he's totally hooked on that wife of his. I'm allowed to notice though, I'm sure you've noticed too."

Maya shook her head. 'If I have it is inconsequential, I have my own walking wet dream to worry about."

Julia laughed. 'See, I told you Maya, you're oversexed too. Right now you're thinking about it, you're thinking about what you're going to do once he gets back and I leave."

Maya laughed, she couldn't believe she'd walked into that one. Julia always turned conversations around on you like that, got you admitting things that you were trying to deny. 

All of this talk about sex was getting her hot and bothered. She was itching for Tyler to come home. 

Tyler tried to let his brain go blank. The rhythm of his breathing and the sounds of his feet on the pavement together with the steady jingle of Cassie's dog tags were helping to calm him down, he was starting to see that some of his thoughts were irrational. He was upset. He'd had a bad day and some things that Maya had done made him feel like she was using him. 

It's just because her family is here, he thought to himself. She's just excited to see her family and taking advantage of the fact that he had made himself infinitely available when it came to Nicholas. If it were the other way around and his family were here he would expect her to look after Nicholas. 

His breath made puffs of fog in the cold night air. His fingers were freezing, he should have worn gloves, he had terrible circulation, his hands were always cold. He pulled the sleeves of his thermals over them and scrunched them into fists. 

He had been so angry when she questioned him about putting Nicholas in the bathroom today. He shook his head. As he thought about it he got a burning sensation in his gut, he was still angry about it. He couldn't believe that she'd humiliated him like that. She'd cut him down in front of her family and Sam's family, undermined his authority. It was one thing to do that at work where she was the boss, but to do it at a family gathering? In front of people he hardly knew? It was degrading. 

His toes were starting to go numb and his legs were sore. This run was a bad idea. He was already exhausted from going back to training after a two month break, he didn't need the extra workout right now. But he didn't want to go back to Maya's place yet, he couldn't go back to his place and if he went back to Sam and Emma's there'd be all sorts of questions that he didn't want to answer. 

Fuck. He was really cold. He'd just drop in at Sam and Emma's and borrow some gloves and an extra jacket from Sam. 

He decided to knock on the front door. Usually he'd just go in, now that they had kids there was a very low probability of finding them fucking in the living room or on the kitchen counter like the old days, but with Sam's parents there it was probably best to add the formality. 

Emma answered the door. Poor Emma, she was having a rough time of it. They had half expected her to get postpartum depression but it had hit pretty hard and she was having difficulties finding the right dose of the right medication. 

'What are you, nuts? It's freezing out." She said as she stepped aside to let him inside. 

'Yeah, I know. I need more clothes and I can't go to my place because Maya's parents are sleeping in my room."

'You want some of Sam's? He's already in bed. Everyone is asleep."

'Oh, in that case I'll just hang out for a bit and warm up, if that's okay."

'Yeah, fine."

'What are you doing up?" He asked. 

She shook her head. 'I don't know. I don't know anything right now." She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

Tyler followed her and sat beside her. 'Want to talk about it?" He asked. 

She sighed, 'Not really. There's not much to talk about, I know it is a chemical imbalance in my brain, but that doesn't make it easier, I still feel like a bad mother."

'You know that's not the case Em, you are one of the best mothers I know."

Tears started to leak out of her eyes. 'Thanks Gray. I know it will get better, it's just hard right now. I feel bad for Sam." 

Tyler put his arm around her and she leaned into him. She rested her head on his shoulder. 'Don't worry about Sam, you know he loves you, he doesn't blame you for this."

'Yeah, I know. If there is one thing I know to be true it's that Sam loves me. I wouldn't even be alive if he didn't."

Tyler didn't doubt it. Emma had become seriously suicidal after their first miscarriage, if Sam hadn't intervened it was entirely possible that she would have taken her own life. 

'I just can't help but feel defective," she continued. 'This should be a joyful time. We have a son. Can you believe it? We actually have a baby. After all of the pain and loss we finally have a baby and I can't even enjoy him. I don't even feel for him what I felt for Amy."

'That will change Em, just give it time," he tried to reassure her. 

She nodded but she was still sobbing. 

'Can I let you in on a secret?" He asked.

'Mm...'

'You're not missing out on much yet. He's cute but all he does is cry, poop and sleep. You still have a good couple of months before he gets interesting."

Tyler felt her chuckle more than he heard it. She sniffed. 'At least mom seems to like him."

'Like him? She's completely enamored." 

'She's been so much better," Emma said. 'When you guys were in Australia she was nothing but kind and helpful. She even came to an OBGYN appointment with me, then she took the ultrasound images to Kinkos and scanned them so I could email them to Sam. It felt like we were a normal family, it was nice.

'Did you talk to your family today?" Emma was the first one to ask him.

'Yeah, they're all good."

'Anything up with Cinta?"

Tyler sighed. 'Yeah."

Emma looked up at him, it wasn't his usual response to that question. 

'She's been approved for a study. They want to implant electrodes in her brain and try to wake her up."

'Is that good?" She asked. 

'I don't know. She's been out for almost eighteen months, there's still a chance that she could wake up on her own, and there's a reasonable chance that she could die in the surgery or while recovering from it. I don't know if I think it's a good idea or not."

Emma was silent for a moment. 'Who gets to decide?"

'Mom and dad. They're leaning towards it. They feel like every day that goes by it is less likely that she'll wake up on her own. And what if she did wake up in another five or ten years? Her body would be grown up, but she'd still be a teenager, she'd still be stuck at seventeen, when she had the accident. Every day that goes by will make it a little bit harder for her if she does wake up." 

Emma put her head back down on his shoulder. 'Shit," she said. 

'Yeah, shit."

They sat like that for a long time. Emma started crying again and Tyler rubbed her arm. Poor Em, she really was fragile at the moment. 

'Poor Cinta," Emma sobbed. 

Tyler just sat there, letting her cry. His heart felt heavy. She cried for a long time and then she settled down. 

'I love you Gray," she croaked. 

'I know Em, I love you too." He didn't even have to think about it. They didn't normally go around proclaiming their love for one another but he knew it was there. Not a sexual love, a familial love. 

They sat for a little longer and then Emma wanted to go to bed. She needed Sam. She didn't have to say it, Tyler could see it in her face. 

'Do you want me to get you some more clothes?" She asked. 

'No, I'll be okay, I'll just go straight home. I don't really feel like running any more."

When he got back to Maya's place her sister was still there. They were still in the lounge room chatting and laughing. It annoyed him. He should be happy for her, he loved hanging out with his siblings, he should be happy that she was having a good time with hers, but he couldn't help but feel irritated. 

He didn't feel like talking to them and he had the excuse of needing to bathe. He stood under the shower with his eyes closed, letting the water run over him, feeling the prickling sensation pass over him as the hot water thawed is chilled skin. 

God, what a shitty day it had been. He should have gone home to San Diego, he should have spent the time with his own family. He was going to go, he had already bought tickets, but in the end he had decided that it was more important to stay with Maya and Nicholas and meet Maya's family. 

He heard the bathroom door open and seconds later Maya was in the shower with him. 

'Hey baby," she said.

'Hey."

'How was your run?"

He didn't feel like telling her about seeing Emma. 'Okay, I'm pretty tired."

'Mmm...' She was standing in front of him. She took the soap out of its dish and started rubbing it on his chest. It felt good. She worked it over his shoulders and up the back of his neck before she dropped it on the floor. She didn't pick it up, she just kept on rubbing his neck and shoulders. God it felt like heaven, he was so tight and sore from going back to weight training. Her fingers worked into his muscles in little circles and then rubbed up and down in long passes, stroking the stress away. 

She pressed her body against him and kissed him on his neck and across his clavicle. God she felt amazing, her nipples were hard against his chest and her breasts were full and soft. He put his arms around her and stoked up and down her back and butt, over her sides and hips, feeling her womanly curves. 

She leaned down to pick up the soap and rubbed it over his belly, and then lower, over his thighs and then finally his balls. She worked up the suds then started to stroke his cock. He was already hard and she took her time. She used both hands, alternating between pumping him up and down and pulling on him, letting her hands slip over his soapy skin. 

He couldn't help but moan. She was so amazing. When Maya touched him like this there was nothing else in the world. No other thoughts, nothing else existed. 

She took the showerhead from its perch and washed him off, then replaced it. She backed up against the shower wall. Oh fuck, he knew what was coming, they'd already done this once before. His cock was screaming with desire for her, the anticipation was killing him. 

She lifted her leg and rested her ankle on his shoulder, leaning her body over to stretch her hamstring. The water cascaded over her, drenching her hair, wetting her skin. He let his hands roam over her, he squeezed her breast, he felt the curve of her waist, he dipped his hand down to her pussy and spread her slippery wetness over her hot mound. 

She lifted her body off the leg she was stretching and pushed her wet hair off her face. He stepped towards her, forcing her leg straight up beside her head. He squatted down and guided his cock to her fully exposed entrance. He looked into her eyes as he pushed himself inside her. She moaned and her eyes rolled back into her head. 

'Oh god, Maya...' He moaned. 

Maya was the first woman he had ever felt inside of without a condom, and she was spectacular. Her heat, her wetness, her throbbing desire, it was all spectacular. Whoever invented the birth control pill deserved a medal. 

He pumped her a few times in his half squatting position and then he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her, pressing her against the wall. 

His face was pressed right up against hers, her leg blocked out half of the world, focusing his concentration on her, as if he were wearing blinders. He could feel her breath on his lips, the resistance of her leg between them. Fuck, she was so sexy. This position gave him such a psychological high, he was pinning her completely, she had submitted to him, entrusting him with her body, with her safety. 

'Oh Sasha... Oh baby...' her voice was grainy with lust. 

The steam from the shower engulfed them. He leaned into the wall and thrust his hips, forcing himself inside her deeper. 

'Ah...' She tried to throw her head back but he was pinning her too closely, he wasn't giving her any room. She was panting hard. 

He continued to pump her like that, working her up into frenzy. She was bucking and twisting, trying to move against him, trying to increase the friction, but he held her tightly, sandwiching her between himself and the wall. 

'Ah Sash... give me my leg... give it back."

He didn't want to. He wanted to finish like this. It felt so fucking good. There was a battle playing out in his head. One part of him wanted to dominate her, wanted to own her, to take her the way he wanted. It was as if he was a caveman, that's what Maya did to him, she turned him into a fucking Neanderthal. The other part recognized that she was Maya, the woman who he loved, the woman he wanted to satisfy, the person he couldn't afford to loose.

He beat the caveman down and loosened his grip on her, letting her bring her leg down. She wrapped it around his torso, joining its twin. Her heels dug into his buttocks as she ground her pelvis against him, in time with his thrusts. 

Oh fuck, she felt so good. She was so enthusiastic for him, her moaning was in concert with each of his thrusts. He could feel her ribcage expanding rapidly through the skin of her back and her breath was ragged against his cheek. He was pressed so close to her that her heart beat thudded against his chest. 

She was close. Tyler closed his eyes and tried to hold back the torrent that was about to surge through his cock. Maya's arms were wrapped around his neck, he could feel her nails digging into the skin of his shoulders where she was grasping onto him. 

'Oh... Oh... Tyler...Ah...' Her voice cracked as she called out to him and he felt the walls of her pussy grab at him, squeezing him and begging him for his cum. He gave it to her. He plunged into her and let his cock erupt in long hot strokes. He pushed his cum deeper and deeper inside of her, pounding it against her womb like surf against the shore. 

He leaned against the wall as he recovered. He was trying not to crush her, his arms shaking from the effort. She was kissing his neck. He felt tears sting his eyes. It had been a shitty day. He'd been struggling to keep his head since he'd spoken to his dad this morning and he'd told him about Cinta's chance to have the brain surgery. Making love to Maya had just opened the food gates to emotions and her kisses were only making it harder for him to hold it together. 

He took a deep breath and blew it out. He slid his cock out of her and lowered her to her feet. He turned his face away, he didn't want to have explain tears. 

'Sasha?"

He turned his face up into the stream of the shower and let the hot water turn him numb. 

'Sasha?" Maya was pulling on his arm. 'Baby, what's wrong?"

'Nothing," he said. His face was still under the showerhead and hot water gushed into his mouth when he opened it to speak. 

'Tyler, look at me."

He turned back to her. She looked worried, her brow was furrowed and she was biting down on her lower lip.