7 comments/ 7248 views/ 9 favorites River Ch. 01 By: InkWolfe This is a new, fresh start for me. I will not be continuing Wicked, I cannot find out how to remove it, but this is my fresh start. Voting and feedback are wonderful; I thank you if you do one or both. This story has been stuck in my head for a while- the characters running back and forth throughout my brain. I'll stop babbling and let you read the story! Thank you for reading! This story, its characters, settings and references are copyright to Inkwolf@Literotica.com. Reposts will not be tolerated without permission. References to any actual persons- living or dead and places are entirely coincidental. An editor was not used so any mistakes are mine! CHAPTER ONE I was a woman trying to balance work and life at once. It was a difficult job. Being a forensic scientist, I occasionally had to work odd hours and see death regularly. I was not one of those forensic scientists who made other new techies run down to the morgue to get something from them, nor did I bother to use a Vicks when down there. Death was death, the dead persons usually couldn't help that they were once alive and when they died, their flesh rotted. It wasn't their fault they stank and their flesh changed color. I had a lab partner named Troy Robey who seemed nice, but was quiet, usually didn't talk. He just watched and did what you told him to. He had been there before I was and he was always respectful but quiet. Almost all of the women would do anything errand- wise to get a glance at Troy. He was powerful, didn't flaunt his quiet strength. Troy was about six feet and a half tall, with military short jet black hair and the most beautiful eyes. His eyes were pure, white- blue, with a ring of silver around the iris. They were a cold blue but a beautiful blue. His shoulders were wide and powerful; the tight muscle shirts he wore showed an outline of his mouthwatering looking abs and rippling biceps. I could never have him. Ever. I wasn't a woman he wouldn't dream of being with. I was five foot three and a half, curly caramel hair, very dark brown eyes, seventy five percent deaf in the low frequency range and I was trying to get rid of a growing fat roll. I always looked tired, didn't wear makeup, and wore running shoes. Compared to the other women in the office that he could have, I was a speck on his perfect shirt. Besides, he was already dating Sabrina, the office bitch. Sabrina had clawed her way to the top in the office, and let everyone know Troy was hers. *Especially* me because I worked with him. I recall an earlier conversation: "He's mine. You can never have him, you ugly dumpy thing. Compared to me, you're nothing," Sabrina had said, looking me straight in the eye. "Great, he's yours. You can have him. He's a mute and he can't use a microscope," I snippily replied. "Good. I'm glad we're clear. You wear those hideous Asics, that freakin' North Carolina Zoo T-shirt and those ripped, paint stained jeans, and you'll be alone your whole life. At least I can wear a dress, put on some make up and heels," With that comment, she'd left. I knew I shouldn't have let that bitch get the upper hand on me, but I went home and cried. I was unsure of myself, shy, chubby. I didn't know how to get a man's attention- I never would. Sabrina was right. When a man looked at me, I blushed and looked away. I wish my backbone was stronger, maybe I could be a better person. That night, after I cried, I ate an entire tub of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. Cherry Garcia. I wanted to purge, but didn't, knowing that would just make it worse. I was lonely, frightened, had a low self- esteem, was seventy five percent deaf in the low frequency range and I didn't know what to do. I was at work, focused on a brain sample under the microscope. Sabrina was in the lab, purring at Troy. "You know what I want tonight, stud," Sabrina's voice dripped lethal honey. "Mmhm, sweetheart," The only time Troy spoke was to everyone but me. His voice caused me to shiver and liquid heat to burst between my legs. After work I usually went home, walked the dog and fed it, made and ate supper, took a shower, watched TV and then touched myself until I came about two times and then fell asleep. I was worried that I would never live up to a man's expectations. I come twice, and then I fall asleep. Hardly worth anything. I turned off my hearing aids to block out Sabrina and Troy and continued to work. I watched them from the reflection in my microscope. Sabrina was caressing Troy's chest, nuzzling his throat. Hot tears stung my eyes as I watched them. That bitch was so lucky! I willed the tears not to fall as I turned and got the victim's tongue out of a jar. I walked over to Sabrina and Troy and held the tongue up between their faces. "Eeeeew! Oh my god! Ew!" Sabrina was out of the lab in an instant. I couldn't help my cat ate the canary grin as I watched her run away. When I looked up, Troy was staring right at me. I almost ran off to my microscope. He looked pissed. Really pissed. I took a deep breath and went for it. "Could you please keep the theatrics with her out of the lab?" I asked politely. "You're contaminating federal evidence," Was his reply as he walked out of the lab, most likely to go comfort Sabrina. I broke. I put the tongue back in its jar and went to the lab bathroom and collapsed. I sat there with a long sheet of paper towel and sobbed quietly. When I was done, I stared unseeingly at the sink. I was sitting on the dirty floor by the toilet. I really was in ruins. I don't know how long I sat there, unseeing, unblinking. A soft knock on the door and then: "Alaysa?" Troy sounded worried. "Go the fuck away Sabrina ass- kisser," I snapped. The doorknob rattled several times and then the door opened and hit me. He'd picked the lock. "What's up?" He came into the bathroom, closed the door and sat across from me. "Nothing. Go get on with your perfect life and dreams of a perfect family. Go marry Sabrina, have your white picket fence life with your two sons and your perfect two- story house and dog while I live the rest of my life alone with my not perfect dog and my TV," I said dully. "I just broke up with Sabrina," He replied quietly. We sat there quietly, unmoving. "We should get back to work," I jumped up, walked past Troy and to the sink. I was splashing water on my face when Troy grabbed my wrist. Uh oh. "What is this?" He sounded upset as he examined the long scars and healing cuts on my left arm. "None of your business," I jerked my arm away from him and walked out of the bathroom. "What's going on? I'm your lab partner and I have a right to know," He said, following me. "Why? You never cared before. Why now?" I replied, reexaming the brain tissue under the microscope. He grabbed me shoulders, spun me around to face him, and held me in place so I wouldn't take off again. "Because I just realized you really were a person, in my lab, helping me with my microscope. Sabrina is a scaredy dull witch and I definitely don't want to be with her for the rest of my life. I realized who she really is when you stuck that preserved tongue in her face. She doesn't have a heart. You do. I feel horrible, knowing I've been ignoring you all this time and not giving you one damn bit of attention. Look at me," He gently grasped my chin and raised my face to his. "Get the heck off," I batted his hand away. He gripped my chin harder. "No. Hear me out, I was an ass. I'm sorry. I don't blame you for chasing Sabrina off. I know what she said to you in this lab two months ago. It was cruel and nasty and I didn't want to be with her any more. But I fell into her charm again and stayed with her when I shouldn't have. You've probably been bitter towards us since then, maybe even before. I never took your feelings into consideration and I'm sorry," He looked sorry. But I couldn't trust him. He'd never said one word to me before. He never'd looked at me before, even. I was backed into a corner, scared and afraid at this new direction, so I lashed out. "Nice to meet you Sherlock," I said tartly trying, in vain, to push him away. He let out a low growl and pushed me up against the counter. I flailed helplessly, trapped against his wonderful body. Dear gosh, he smelled amazing. I gave myself a mental shake. Don't focus on that! I screamed at myself. "You think you can just hop from one woman's bed to another? Well that's not the truth. I won't be your next doormat. Go find someone else. You get bored with Sabrina so you turn to me. Real nice, Robey." "We can take it slower. I do realize I am 'hitting' on you after I just got rid of Sabrina, but trust me, I want you, not her," Troy almost made me wet myself when he nibbled on my ear. He'd winced at the word 'hitting.' Someone cleared their throat behind us. I looked around Troy and saw it was the Board Director. My blood curdled, froze. I'd just lost my job. River Ch. 01 River - Sarah's story - Chapter 1 The wonderful thing about long lasting friendships is that they often create strange, but very interesting combinations of people. The persons that used to be very much the same, talking about the same things, with almost synchronized thoughts, will in the end create - or finally show - their own personalities, have their own perfect ideas on how to live life, what to believe and how much they want to share with others about themselves. What used to be a simple wish to fit in - you all remember high school, right? - will eventually seem strange to most of us. We will blossom into many different personalities, some with a wish to stand out - probably as a reaction to trying to fit in for so many years, some - feeling comfortable in the fitting-in-game - trying to keep a perfect front, showing only the perfect parts of their seemingly perfect lives. And hey, some might even have perfect lives; we've all heard stories about them, haven't we? What would happen if we could really get to know a group of women; their lives, their secrets and their innermost selves? Would we find that their inner core is basically the same? According to science, we all have with the same fundamental urges that drive us towards the same goals. Or would we find that all people are different from the center and out? And is it the inner parts that define us or the outer layers we show the world? Let me introduce you to a group of women, childhood friends, all trying to make the most of their lives in a medium sized city, somewhere close by. Sarah is a warm and loving woman who shares her feelings with everyone. She seems to be always falling in love, but she can't seem to find The Love, the one who appreciates all the love she can give, the one who will actually stay. Mary is the wild one, with her naughty jokes and full laughter, which sometimes - in the blink of an eye - will change into strange quietness and sad smiles. The seemingly cold Susan that never does anything impulsive, that always has a plan, and tends to keep all of her secrets behind a somewhat cold smile. And the woman they all envy, Rose, with her perfect life, rich husband, state of the art nail- and hair-do, her I'm-always-so-happy smile and - if you look a bit closer - eyes that tell the true story behind the perfect lies. ----------- "Waking up really isn't a good way to start a day" was the first thought that entered my head that morning. Having been an early morning person most of my life, that thought might have come as a surprise, were it not for the massive amounts of paper tissue surrounding my bed. Yes, I had cried myself to sleep. Then I had woken up and cried myself to sleep again, and again. I once met a person who told me that crying was good for your health. Considering the massive head ache I always woke up with after a night of crying, I'm pretty sure that those health benefits must be completely made up. If it does seem like I'm unusually used to crying, I have to say, that is actually the truth. My mother used to say that "my emotions always ran high" and used to lecture me about "not wearing my feelings on my sleeve" and for years I tried to keep myself buttoned up, but in the end I just let myself be me. Being me is usually quite fun. I'm basically always the fun-loving, happy Sarah that keeps everyone smiling with stories, hugs and kisses. And yes, I am a kindergarten teacher, and I love what I do. And the kids seem to love me right back. I have very many friends, both women and men, and just basically a life full of friendship and joy. And it would be a perfect life, if it wasn't for my not-so-secret wish to have a family of my own combined with a complete inability to attract a male companion for a longer period of time. It's not like I'm ugly, really. Sure, I'm a big sized girl, but as they say in the world of books, all of my curves really are in the right places. And if it isn't my looks that drive people away then it must be my personality, which just brings us back to the beginning, doesn't it? My friend Susan once told me she thought that maybe I scared people away by showing such deep emotions so early in my romantic relationships. And lying in bed this past night, crying after another break-up, I started thinking she might be right. "Just get up and get going" I finally thought to myself. Any more crying and/or possible plans for the future would have to wait, at least for a headache pill and a long shower. Looking at the clock, I realized I was running late. "Short shower then" I said aloud frowning at the time. I tried to keep a smiling face on at work, but kids are smarter than grown-ups and before the day was through I had gotten a few "why are you sad"-questions that I had a hard time answering. It's not easy to tell a child the whole "well, I fell in love again, but he didn't want to love me back"-story, so I just told them I hadn't slept well. I had called "the girls" the night before and told them about Danny and me breaking up. They had decided I needed some cheering up, which meant that we would meet for a glass of wine at our regular bar, at a somewhat irregular day and time. We usually met up every other Thursday, as we had done for years, but even a Tuesday would work, if one of us needed the support. Mary and Rose were waiting at our usual table, back in one corner of the bar. Mary was chewing on one of her nails and Rose was smilingly telling her some sort of story. By the way Rose was waving her hands; it must be a pretty exciting story. I went to the bar and asked for a glass of white wine, any kind of white wine; it really wasn't a day to be picky on. I started walking back to Mary and Rose and when they saw me they walked up to meet me and gave me a big hug each; Rose with a quick almost-kiss on my cheek and Mary with a slight wince, as if she was in pain. We all sat down and before I could start talking I heard the unmistakable sound of Susan's high heels with her distinct calm footsteps. I could tell by the slight worry line between her eyebrows that Susan was a bit bothered that we'd strayed from our normal Thursday-plan. When she had fetched her normal - a bit classier than I ever chose - glass of white wine, we were all finally assembled. Susan lightly squeezed my shoulder when she passed me on her way to her chair - an action that was as close to a hug she ever got. "Ok," Mary started "I want to hear everything about the 'Danny Dating Donna Downstairs Disaster'!" I'm not sure how coherent I was when I talked to them the night before, but Mary had obviously been able to piece together most of the story. I brought out a paper tissue and started retelling them what I had tried to tell them before. "Well, it started Friday evening, when Danny was supposed to take me to dinner. He sent me a text telling me that he wouldn't be able to make it. I tried to call him to make new plans but he didn't answer. I then sent him a text asking if he would like to meet up at my place Saturday, just for a movie night, nice food, cuddle in the sofa, that sort of thing. I got no answer to the text, so I tried ringing him a couple of times on Saturday. By Sunday I was getting worried when he still hadn't gotten in touch. " I took a big sip of wine and then continued. "You know how I usually help Mrs. Peterson downstairs with her dog on Sundays, when she goes to see her elderly sister for a couple of hours?" all the girls were listening, nodding and sipping their wine "Well, when she opened her door she was looking like she hadn't slept in a week, so I quickly helped her sit down on her sofa and asked her what was the matter, if something had happened with her sister. She just shook her head and started telling me about her next door neighbor Donna and her most recent nightly visitor; a nightly visitor that had become more of a full time visitor these past few days." "Noooo!" Rose exclaimed, "that was Danny?" I just nodded. "How did you find out?" Susan asked with her calm, businesslike voice. "Well, when I was talking to Mrs. Peterson we both started to hear really loud noises. I don't think I've ever heard anyone being that loud, well sexually that is. According to Mrs. Peterson it would only get worse. And when that dear old lady started crying, I just got so angry I walked straight over to Donnas apartment to put a stop to it all, or just ask them for the love of god to keep it down a bit and let people get some sleep." I drank down most of my remaining wine; I was getting to the hard part and needed some artificial strength. "When I got to Donnas door, it was slightly open and - needless to say - the noises were even louder out there. I tried to get their attention by knocking on the door, and I tried to call out so they would hear me, but when they didn't react I just got even angrier, so I walked right into her apartment..." Mary started snickering and the snickering soon turned into a full belly laugh with very Mary-distinct snorting sounds. "I'm so... s-s-sorry", she hiccupped "it's my damn visual imagination, I can just see it before me, you walking in, angry as a bee, to confront a couple of naked butts bobbing up and down, a-a-and just..." I took the last sip of wine and listened as Mary tried to calm down. I had pretty vivid, visual memories of what I had seen in Donna's apartment. I'm not a prude, but what had seen was a bit far away from my own personal fantasies and experiences. "Well, long story short, what I saw was Donna suspended somehow from the ceiling and she was being taken rather roughly by three men" I coughed and looked up at two faces with rather shocked expressions, and one with her usual calm, collected face. "But what, how... how did you manage to see that Danny was there? I would have just run out!" Rose managed to say, although with a rather high pitch. "Well, I did run out" I said a bit shaky "but when I had gotten almost to the door I realized I recognized a birth mark on one of the 'gentlemen's' butt cheeks. So I turned back. And I must have made some sort of sound, because Danny turned around and recognized me. And he got sort of an 'ooh shit'-kind of expression on his face. And then I ran out, crying" "Wow, that's just, wow" Mary whispered "that's just fucked up". "Yeah, well, it's a break-up version I haven't tried before, isn't it?" I whispered back. And then I started crying, silent tears running down my face. Rose leaned in and wrapped her arms around me from one side and Mary started rubbing the one arm she could reach over the table. "You really can't trust anyone, can you?" Susan stated coldly. "All the stories you hear about broken hearts and broken promises. It's just... you can't trust anyone". It's as close to being angry as I had ever heard her. "I've been crying rivers of tears over that guy" I wept "and why should I really? We'd only seen each other a couple of weeks? We only had sex that one time, and it wasn't all that good. But he was such a nice person, someone I felt I could really spend the rest of my life with. And he'd be a perfect daaaad..." "Yes, a perfectly normal, I-like-to-gangbang-girls-on-the-weekends kind of a father" Mary stated with her normal crooked smile and a shake of her head. "The least he could do was to invite you to the party, I say" she continued with a short snorting laugh. I just shook my head, thankful that Mary was trying to coax me out of my crying spell. Rose walked off to the bar and came back with a glass of water that I thankfully downed before starting to wipe my face clean. "I've been thinking about what Susan said a while ago, actually", I started saying, before blowing my nose one last time. "About me scaring people away with my love? That I'm making people drown in my affections or something like that?" Rose stopped me by taking and holding my hand "But Sarah, you're such a sweet girl! Everyone that meets you, just instantly love you. You bring joy and happiness to everyone!" "I know you all think I'm cold and impersonal" Susan chimed in "and we all think Rose is so warm and loving. I had the idea a couple of months ago that since none of us are happily attached, perhaps the way to go is somewhere in-between?" "A charmingly smiling keep-your-distance personality?" Mary smiled "How would you do that?" "I really don't know" Susan answered with a smile that might have been a bit embarrassed. "I don't know either" I stated "but I have to change something, I cannot keep doing this. And anyway I think I'm running out of available, suitable men." "This is where the fun part begins" Mary laughed "you'll just have to start dating unavailable, unsuitable men." We shared a short, very well needed laugh at that idea. "I think you're going to find that perfect someone soon" Rose stated with a happy smile. "Yes, someone with a sponge-like personality, that just sucks up all of that love you have to give" Mary continued with a wide smile and a wink. The last thing I thought about that night was how lucky I was to have such good friends. And I slept the night through without crying. River Ch. 02 Several weeks after the Danny Disaster, when all tears had finally dried up and I was nearly my good old self again, I still hadn't stopped thinking about doing something different to try to find a loving, long lasting relationship. I just didn't know how to go about it. So I decided to put all relationship thoughts out of my head and just keep on going with work and the occasional outing with my closest friends. Working with kids has always brought me so much joy and going to work is never a hardship, but sometimes you have days when everything all of a sudden seems upside-down, when a group of kids stop functioning together, start hitting each other with toys, throwing food around and thoroughly testing the limits of their teachers' patience. Sometimes we don't know the reason behind the change in the group dynamic, but it's usually because of introducing new children in the group or because of natural development steps as the children grow older. The work week from hell started with us introducing a shy, sad looking boy in our group of five-to-six year olds. Since five and six year old children are naturally curious and full of questions about everything, the shy little boy was absolutely swimming in questions about where he was from, where he lived, if he had any brothers or sisters, if he had a dog or a cat, if he had any computer games and so on... and on... and on. I was working the lunch-afternoon-evening shift and hadn't been there when the boy - whose name was Sam - was introduced in the morning. And I wasn't there when Sam went into a fit of rage not being able to get away, having questions pushed at him from everyone, being too shy to answer almost anything. It was however very obvious that something was wrong in the afternoon, when everyone was angry at everyone and everything. Imagine a six-year-old boy with wavy, blond hair and huge blue eyes. Like an adorable little angel boy; except curled up in a corner with a fierce scowl on his face, staring angrily around him. This was the way I found him when I walked in at the beginning of my workday. It was quickly decided that I should try to befriend him, while everyone else went for lunch. All previous attempts from the teachers' side to coach him out of the corner into any activity had resulted in the boy screaming hysterically and crawling back into his corner. Based on what I knew about grumpy little boys (and big boys for that matter), I guessed that the best way would be to start doing something really interesting. Something that would make him leave his corner without me coaxing or nagging. As it happens, one of my talents is in the area of origami, specifically in paper plane construction; and not just simple old fold-four-times paper planes, but proper, several sheets of paper (preferably in different colors) perfectly flying creations. And there's something about seeing paper planes flying very high and far that all little boys, even angry ones, really love. After about 20 minutes of hard work, creating and throwing several tiny aircrafts all over the room, not looking at or speaking to Sam, a small voice beside me asked "can you make me a green and orange plane?" and 20 minutes after that, when everyone came back, I was busy teaching the now almost smiling boy how to build a perfect plane. I'd like to say that that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but there was something about the boy that made him pull back slightly every time he found a friend. It did however make him stop sitting alone in the corner, and that was after all the intention of our first little interaction. Since Sam was one of the boys with the longest days at kindergarten he and I met every day, come early morning or late evening. I noticed that he came with his father, when I worked early mornings, and that he left with his father, when I worked the evening shifts. The father was always in a hurry, giving the kid a quick hug and kiss and then running out of the door with a wave of his hand. All I ever had the time to notice was that he was a big looking guy with tousled hair and worry-lines covering his face. To be fair, the reason why I didn't really see him was probably because he was such a large man. For some reason, I found tall men really intimidating. Weeks went by, and Sam opened up little by little and started playing more and more with the other kids. He and I used to have really interesting discussions about building things, and not a day went by without him constructing something completely new in any type of material. He was our little inventor, with such a big mind in such a small body. I was working the afternoon-evening shift on a rainy Friday when we suddenly had a call from Sam's dad. He was running late and wouldn't be able to get back to fetch Sam on time and one of us would have to wait after closing hours. Since I had no plans I volunteered to wait. Sam wanted to show me a paper train he had built, using the same technique I showed him on his first day. And it really was an amazing construction, with wheels being the only thing missing. We tried a couple of different things as wheels, but couldn't really find anything that would work as well as Sam wanted them to. I made suggestions, which were all rejected by Sam, and in the midst of all of these discussions, Sam's dad snuck in. I don't know how long he had been standing there when we finally noticed him, but he had a strange, happy-but-sad smile on his face. And that's when I finally took a good look at him. He was way above average length, with wide shoulders and strong arms and legs. Nothing about him seemed weak or even breakable; nothing except the tense and sad-looking expression in his face and something about how he held himself upright, like he was trying to carry the whole world on his shoulders. That small something made me smile at him and tell him to join us in our train creation efforts. Half an hour later a perfect train with little rubber wheels carved out of a couple of erasers was carried by a smiling Sam out through the doors into the evening. River Ch. 03 People are very fond of saying everything from "when you least expect it, love will find you" and "just you wait, someday when you turn the corner, there he'll be" to "stop trying so hard, let the universe help you", and I guess that was sort of what I was doing; taking one day at a time, going to work, meeting my friends out for a drink, passing my time. In the end, I think there's always something in us that wants us to reach for, to search and find that special someone. I'm sure my friend Mary would be able to explain the "general principles of human nature" in a quick and humoristic way, but by my way of thinking it's just natural to want someone to share your life with. And so, I stopped waiting and I started trying again. I went on a couple of first dates with kind, intellectual men with good finances, and followed my old "this is my preferred type of partner"-pattern. But somehow the Danny Disaster had changed me; I just didn't trust as easily, and I didn't let the first dates become second dates. And I didn't love. I'm not sure if you can understand what it feels like not to be able to live and love fully, when you've been living and loving to your heart's content all your life. A rather large part of you is suddenly gone. At work and with my friends I was still happy, but there were times when I was alone when everything seemed less shiny, less colorful somehow. It's as close to a depression I had ever come in my life. I shook it off kind of quickly, and the only lasting result of my temporary blues was that I lost some weight, which meant that I could buy some new clothes, two sizes smaller than before. And honestly – retail therapy really does work! My new, thinner, slightly more cynical, but still infinitely romantic self continued going to work and continued meeting my closest friends every Thursday. My friends could see that I struggled somewhat with my new world order, but except for some darkly cynical thoughts from Mary's side, some cold half-smiles from Susan and some cheer-up-everything's-going-to-be-all-right-sentiments from Rose, life went on in a familiar way. Yes, life went on in a familiar way up until "the day with the knife waving mother" came along. It started as normal as a day can possibly start, with breakfasttime, playtime, lunchtime; everything at the right time, in the right place, with the right amount of kids, the right amount of teachers. Just fine-fine-fine. And then when we're playing outdoors, a loud yell from a teacher, a swift intake of breath from a shy child, someone calling for security. And in the end sirens blearing loudly close by and teachers desperately collecting silent children, calling parents to come get their kids. And in my arms a shocked, shaking, silently crying child, his arms wound tightly around my neck. But of course the child was brilliant, shy, silent Sam. And of course the crazy lady with the knife was Sam's mother. And of course the story of the broken family and the violent, drug abusing mother that was not allowed access to her own child was known by the management, who had not deemed it relevant for the teachers to know about it. In just one short hours' time, we all knew the sad story. Only a few teachers and kids had actually seen the woman, only one teacher had been threatened with the knife and security had come to the rescue in record time, so the damage to the school, the children and to the teachers was minimal. However it was decided that everyone should be sent home with information about the incident. Sam and I were left mostly to ourselves, since any attempt at other contact only made Sam cling to me more desperately. In the end we were left alone in the room where we'd first met, sitting together in the sofa, just gently holding on to each other. The father that stormed into the room an hour later had almost no similarities with the eraser-cutting, worried but gentle father from those few weeks ago. This was a raging papa bear type of a father, still worried, but with a great warrior from the past appearance; six and a half feet of masculine anger steaming ahead, his only thoughts on his son's safety. I lifted my head up from resting it on the now exhaustedly sleeping Sam's head. "Shhhh" I whispered, "he's asleep". Seeing me sitting calmly with his son in my arms made him stop, take a couple of deep breaths and try to collect himself. He reached the sofa and sat down slowly beside me and then it was as if he'd completely deflated. With a gentle hand on his sons head he folded in on himself, face in his other hand, shaking from silent tears. His son was safe. I let him cry without reaching out for him, but I felt his sorrow and his relief with every breath I took. These were the tears of someone who had been forced to be too strong for too long. When I could tell that most of his calm had returned I slowly righted myself and lifted his son into his arms. When Sam sighed and turned his face into is father's shirt I had a feeling that everything was going to be all right in the end. Without a thought of appropriate teacher-parent behavior I reached my arms out and held as much as I could of both of them, to show them I was there for both of them. And then I finally shed my own tears, the ones I had barely held back since Sam had first reached for me. And I let myself cry a river of tears for all of us. River Ch. 04 The aftershocks of Sam's mothers "visit" could be felt for weeks after the incident. The teachers were worried, the children were restless and – most notable – Sam was kept at home. Rumor had it that Sam's father – whose name was John – was thinking about moving Sam to another, more protected child care facility. The thought of Sam having to move made me sad, along with a lot of other confusing feelings of helplessness and even anger. I didn't really mean to tell my friends anything about what had happened, but by Thursday evening I was close to bursting from the sheer pressure of my own feelings. We weren't strictly speaking forbidden to talk about what had happened and honestly, when you've been friends with a group of people for so long, with at least one highly perceptive person in the group, things tend to be revealed. I took a big gulp of wine and settled down deeper in my chair. With a sigh I broke the wine and beer-sipping silence with my "oh wow, I needed that". I know, I don't suppose that's the best way to start the evening if you're trying to keep a secret from someone, is it? What was surprising is that it wasn't Rose or Mary that started with their normal questions and comments routine. It was an unusually flushed faced Susan that answered with a standard "rough day?" comment. And I, of course, continued with a "try a rough week" statement. And then it just all poured out; all the little things and the big things that had been happening lately and my feelings about it. It's one of the best feelings in the world, being able to just tell all to someone, or in my case three someones. After letting everything go you have the possibility to sort through your own emotions so much easier, especially with a little help from your friends. Rose tried to comfort me with her usual perky "everything's going to be ok" comments, but it didn't feel like her heart was in it somehow. Since my heart and my head were stuck in my own personal drama, I didn't ask her what was wrong, but decided to keep an eye on her. Mary asked questions about the little boy, with a worried frown covering her face. We all knew she came from a difficult family situation and that made her care especially for children, animals and basically everything small that needed protection. Susan wanted to hear more about the angry/crazy mother, but since I couldn't tell her that much about what had really happened in the attack, she soon fell quiet. We talked about other things for a while, Rose's gardening efforts, Susan's latest financial accomplishments, Mary's crazy t-shirts; small, normal, comfortable things. I was starting to feel like good old Sarah again, when Mary suddenly sat straight up and smiled widely, the way only she could smile, with a twinkle in her eyes telling us that she'd just thought of something wildly funny. "You know, there's the solution to all of your problems, Sarah" she said with an even wider smile. "If you take a ride on that disco stick, you might just find what you're looking for". "Did she just Lady Gaga me?" I asked the other two. "Yes she did" said Rose "and you know she's got more where that came from, so just listen to her". "Alright, what do you mean?" I said and turned my full focus on Mary, who was still smiling at me. "Those two, sad-dad and Sam your little man, doesn't it seem like they've been through a lot? That they might need someone that's smack packed with a lot of loving? Someone with a caring, nurturing, warm personality; someone like, say, you?" "But..." I tried, interrupted by Mary's continued "Sponge-dad and sponge-son, meet the vast love ocean Sarah" "No, teacher – parent, that..." I started, when I was once again interrupted by Mary saying "Yes, perfectly, completely inappropriate" and "well done Sarah, I knew you had it in you". Shocked to silence I took a large sip of wine, thinking about what she'd said. A teacher-parent relationship was, of course, completely inappropriate. A teacher-parent relationship in a family situation with a crazy, knife carrying mother was just unimaginable. A teacher-parent relationship with a too fierce, too large, too... it just wouldn't work. But was that not what that niggling thought at the back of my head had been saying? That strong feeling that I'd been having since that strange, heartbreaking moment when I held them both in my arms? I so wished I could make them happy... but no! That road was lined with "caution, rough ride ahead" signs as big as the moon. "That is not a good idea" I said with more bite in it than I had intended. "Sorry, but no". Mary just shook her head and said "Just think about it, and let that big heart of yours have a say in your decision too". With a nod she continued "I know it would be difficult, but I think you'll find that it will be worth it in the end". After a short moment of stunned silence, Mary smiled even wider, this time with a distinct glint in her eyes. "So tell me about those strong arms, big hands, wide shoulders and surprisingly blue eyes again; do you think he's strong enough to lift you up say, against the wall in your teacher's lounge, to have his wicked ways with you?" This, of course, started a much needed full out laughter from all of us and despite Mary's "hey, I really wanted to know", we continued with more Thursday-normal discussions, like the new underwear chain's grand opening, peoples strange obsession with cute kitten-clips on youtube, the weather, palm reading and vacation plans. Later that night, alone in my bed, the thoughts that came to me were not about the poor sad, gentle man, but about the fierce, strong, warrior-like man, lifting me up against my favorite pink, painted wall at work, me wrapping my legs around his waist and us kissing like the world was ending and there was just no sense wasting any time. It was not in any way close to my normal sexual fantasies, but I found I liked the idea very much. So much that I fell asleep only a short moment later, with a satisfied smile on my face. River Ch. 05 The problem with using a certain parent as material for my sexual imaginings was obvious a couple of days later when John and Sam showed up in the morning, smiling and hugging each other good bye, as if nothing had happened. Sam started building something in the far corner of the room and John asked to speak to me, just for a couple of minutes. The man really was attractive with his tousled, dark blond hair and his sky blue eyes. The fact that he was a tall man with a strong body no longer scared me, but instead it made me wonder what it would feel like to lie in his arms. What would it feel like to have him lying on top of me? What would it feel like to lie on top of him? I could tell that my face turned from pink to red as I tried not to look at John, tried not to wonder if he was strong enough to lift me up and carry me around. Tried... and failed. "I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much for taking care of my Sam" he said. "I wanted to move Sam somewhere safer, but he said he didn't want to leave. There was something, he said, about you showing him how to build something special?" "Yes" I answered with weak knees but a surprisingly strong voice "but it's a secret for someone's birthday, and I've been told not to say anything about it". That someone was of course Sam's dad, and I guess he understood since he didn't continue with his questions. He took my hand and squeezed it softly. "Thank you" I don't know why, but I answered him with a whispered "thank you" and felt my cheeks go warm again. He leaned in closer and just for a second it felt as if he was going to hug me, when he quickly straightened up and took a step back. He tossed a "have a nice day now" to me and half-ran out of the room. And there I stood, with a surprised "oh" on my still reddish face and a strange "what did just happen?"-feeling in my body. My brain seemed to have taken a temporary leave of absence, and I was having difficulties processing my reactions. If Mary is the thinker in my little group of friends, then I'm more about staying true to my feelings. But the thing is, you really do need a brain to process what you are feeling. And when my brain power was turned back on just seconds later, I could see the truth quite clearly; I was falling in love. Because it wasn't just lust (although heavily spiced with that particular ingredient), it was something more. And it wasn't a comfortable "I like this guy, and we're compatible, and I want to be with him"-kind of falling in love either. It was like an instant meal of insanely strong feelings of caring for and absolute want-wanting. It reminded me of all the times I had had to separate two children fighting over the same toy. I was a 31 year old woman that wanted, yes absolutely needed that red car (in the shape of a man). The rest of the day passed slowly by and I found myself staring unseeingly into walls, other people's faces, the food I was eating and so on. I'm just hoping no one told me anything important, because storing information might have been a bit over my ability right then and there! * * * * * "Get a grip John" I thought to myself as I was leaving the kindergarten/preschool building. "She is not for you and you know it! And besides, all women turn out to be lying, cheating, crazy, screaming witches in the end, don't they?" But the thoughts that had kept me safe for the past four years sounded strange and hollow. With a bitter laugh I congratulated whatever higher source responsible for my life for thrusting me in the way of a woman even I couldn't ignore. Imagine putting the sweetest possible woman in a curvy, sensual body. Dark shiny hair with a reddish tone to it; large, sincere brown eyes; a warm, inviting, dark red mouth; breasts that were on the large side, but still high and nicely shaped; a not too narrow waist and finally a set of round, smooth butt cheeks that I'd die to get my hands on. She was a bit on the short side, but the rest of the package was just perfect. That evening when I was a bit late to pick up Sam because my car broke down had been the first step in some kind of awakening for me. For the first time in years, Sam seemed to have found someone that he really liked, who shared his interest in building things. The things all previous teachers had highlighted were always the fact that Sam was really shy and that he didn't have many friends. This teacher talked about his imagination and the way he could turn his ideas into fantastic creations, using almost any building material that they had available. In a world that seemed mostly concentrated on finding faults, she was like a little ray of sunshine. When I came running, scared for my son's life and found her sitting there with him in her arms and later on when she held onto both of us, I couldn't believe our luck. To be able to find someone with a heart that was obviously large enough and strong enough to care for not just Sam, but both of us. In the days that followed, I started thinking that of course she had to care for us, it was her job. She didn't do it because she liked or loved us, it was because she was needed, and as a teacher she was educated to behave in a certain way. If distrust or hate wouldn't be my savior this time, then complete denial would save the day. Convinced that I had just imagined things, I brought Sam to kindergarten. I was a rock that could not be affected by female interference. But boy, how wrong I was. I hadn't seen her in over a week and the sight of her made my heart beat a little bit faster, made my senses grow sharper and my blood flow in increasing amounts to my groin. When she looked at me and started blushing, there was something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. It hadn't taken me long to realize that I wanted her, but perhaps she had just realized she wanted me too? After thanking her for her help with Sam, I reached for and touched her hand and that was mistake number one. The overwhelming need for me to hold her in my arms that made me lean in was mistake number two. Now in addition to images of her lush body, I could add her unique sense of smell, a sweet combination of peaches and cherries. I couldn't wait to touch her and taste her. My life was getting complicated fast, and I wasn't sure I was completely unhappy about it. River Ch. 06 For days I walked around filled with a potent, nervous energy. The main thing was to try to never sit still and to always have things to do. While at work that was usually quite easy, but at home I had to find increasingly more creative ways of keeping myself and my thoughts occupied. After taking several long walks, cleaning my apartment two times, cooking at least a month's worth of food and finally trying if cold showers could possibly work on women as well, Friday evening made it's somewhat unwanted appearance. After keeping busy for days, I realized that trying not to think and feel was exhausting. Weekends are roughly 60 hours long and you use about 18-24 of those for sleeping (if you're a sleepyhead like me, probably a bit more). If most of those hours -- including the ones where you're asleep -- are filled with flash backs of previous meetings and fantasies about future meetings, then that makes you pretty exhausted too. Whilst I was laughing over my ability to think about not thinking I cleaned my living room for the third time. I then forced myself to sit down in my sofa to decide what to do next. Nothing needed more cleaning; in fact, more cleaning would probably make me reach my neighbor's apartment soon. There was also nothing for me to pack or unpack, sort or unsort. There was no more room for food in either fridge or freezer. And really, once you start thinking about taking all of your furniture apart, just to be able to put them back together again, that's a pretty good sign that you should take a break. "Hey" I suddenly realized "there's always room for home improvement" and with a pen in my hand I spent the last hours of Friday evening happily planning what to do and writing lists with what material I would need. Come Saturday morning it would be time for some serious shopping! - - - - - - I woke up late on Saturday morning, since sleep had been interrupted by a lot of steaming hot dreaming. My body was warm, lazy and pleasantly aching, as if I had been up having sex half of the night. Considering the way my vivid dreams had woken me up, in a state of almost-there arousal, I guess that's not far from the truth. Suffering from the female version of blue balls, I took a long shower and made good use of my massage shower head. Cleanliness is next to godliness after all, and I sure felt like a goddess drying off and getting dressed. I drove my trusty but rusty old car to a nearby shopping center where I decided to have some breakfast before getting on with my shopping. With some tea and a sandwich I sat down by one of the still available tables next to the cashiers. I started sorting through my lists to see what to buy and where to go first. I was interrupted by a soft "Hey there, can I join you?" and when I looked up (and up) there he was; John. I'm not sure if you've ever noticed, but for some reason, when you've finally realized that you're falling in love, and you need some time to process that, you suddenly meet the person of your growing affections in the strangest places. It's like you're unconsciously making him appear just by thinking about him so much. And just like when you were a teenager, you go through several steps of shocked embarrassment, from stunned silence (looking like a gaping fish), through nervously giggling redness into some silly stuttered too loud exclamation. "Hey!" I almost shouted and then continued on a bit lower "y-yes of course, please sit". He was casually dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, and the fact that he looked even better than usual, made breathing seem impossible. Thankfully, my protection system against total embarrassment was activated and I didn't have to live through actually fainting from lack of oxygen. Somehow I managed to start thinking again, and with that came the natural question. "Where's Sam?" I looked around but couldn't see him in the restaurant or the close by kids' corner. John smiled and said "It's just me, Sam's with his grandparents today". "Oh" was the only answer that came to me. "You see, since Sam cannot have contact with his mother, I try to make sure that he meets her parents once in a while. Right now we've settled on him staying with them a full weekend every month. It makes for a perfect arrangement, they get to love and care for him, he gets to be with the grandparents that he absolutely adores and I get some much needed alone time". I had so many questions to ask about Sam's mother and how he was handling everyday life, but I felt like it was not the time or the place for deeper discussions. With a shaking hand I took a sip of my tea and a bite of my sandwich, mostly to give myself some time to collect my thoughts. I was so attracted to this man that my eyes were almost crossing from the instant sexual tension. I felt like a stranger in my own body and I just barely kept myself from reaching out and touching him. I've always been a tactile person, and at that point I couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel to just lightly put my hand on top of his. In the end I did just that, and was surprised by the shock wave of pure, concentrated desire that flowed through my body. * * * * * She was sitting right there by the counter, comfortably dressed in old blue jeans and a white t-shirt with a strange "you have to be realistic"-print on it. She looked a bit tired, but seeing her it was just like the last time we'd met; complete and instant attraction. She was concentrating on a couple of written notes and for half a second I thought about leaving without approaching her. At that same time, my feet were moving in her direction, and then I found my courage and my voice and started talking to her. She seemed to not really know what to say, so I started talking about Sam and his grandparents and the way I had free weekends once every month; just trying to make her more comfortable. I could tell that her hand shook when she reached for her food. Did I scare her? Or was she, like me, affected by the buzzing energy that surrounded us? I wanted to touch her, but was afraid that just one touch would make me want so much more. With this level of attraction and arousal, would I be able to stop if I started anything? And would I dare try? What if I got close to her and she turned out to be just another lying woman? My confused thoughts about daring or not daring were interrupted by a small, soft hand suddenly reaching for and touching my hand. In that instant any thoughts about not trying quickly disappeared in wave of desire, too strong to deny. If being touched by her in such a simple way gave this effect, how would I possibly be able to take things slowly, to make absolutely sure that she was good thing; that we would be a good thing together. "I..." I started, interrupting myself to gather my thoughts. "Simply put, I want to get to know you better. I want to explore our obvious attraction, but I want to take it slow. Or, I mean, I don't want to take it slow, but I think I need to. Obviously, I have to think about protecting Sam, but I also want to protect myself." "Ok" she answered, looking as dazed as I was feeling. "I know I want to get to know you. And we'll go as slowly as you want to". With a small smile she confessed "It might be difficult, but we'll try". I turned my hand to be able to take a hold of hers. Standing up, I pulled her to her feet, around the table and into my arms. She was so soft, warm and wonderful. Pulling her closer I was sure she could feel my erection against her body and when I felt her tremble against me I realized that by the simple action of holding her close, I had already run miles away from the safe "let's go slowly"-road. I'm not sure how I managed to pull away and walk away, but somehow I did. When I was sitting in my car a few minutes later, I realized I had no good way of contacting her. Our only way of meeting again was if my leaving or picking Sam up happened to coincide with her work hours. Perhaps that would make me able to take it slow after all? River Ch. 07 The rest of that weekend passed by with me in a dreamlike state; cheeks too red, eyes glossy, breathing fast and light. The previous worry that he might not be attracted to me had been blown away by what he had said and that warm, close hug he'd given me. He did want me, but he was afraid. I did want him, and I couldn't wait to see him again. I don't know how many times that weekend that my tired but overactive mind brought up the sensory information of his body pressed to mine, but the feeling of being electric, on the edge, hairs standing, acutely aware of each and every line of his body would not be something I would forget in the first place. The DIY-project was put on indefinite hold, and I stumbled my way home in stunned silence. I no longer needed to keep busy, or rather, I no longer wanted to. I wanted to leisurely swim in my own warm feelings. I wanted to tensely anticipate our next meeting. I wanted to be true to my feelings, finally. I thought about the fact that him almost touching me was more potent than any other experience in my previous relationships, at least the fully dressed ones. When a barely there caress made me go from 0 to 60 in two seconds blank and a touch of his hand made me feel that distinct "click" where my complete body went into instant naked fun time mode. I spent the rest of the weekend just calmly accepting everything. I did simple, pleasurable things, like sit in my sofa with an unread book in my lap; I took long, soapy baths, spent time grooming, polishing and moisturizing, and most of all, made sure I got a lot of sleep. - - - - - It's usually no hardship for me to go to work, but when the alarm rang Monday morning, I literally jumped out of bed, with one thought in my head only - "today I might meet John again". Shower, make-up, clothes, everything went in record time, until I was stopped by a niggling thought at the back of my head. There was something about the work schedule this week, wasn't there? A quick look made me sit down heavily in one of my kitchen chairs. I wasn't scheduled to work early morning or late evening until Thursday. Three more days? Heavy with disappointment I moved slowly in the kitchen, made breakfast, ate it and then checked the time. Yes, still too early to go to work. The time dragged on, until I could finally take my car and drive to work with a disappointed frown on my face. Every bump in the road highlighted the fact that I was and had been on sexual high alert for far too long. I felt like a dog or cat in heat, wanting to rub myself against something to make the tension go away. With heavy steps I followed the gravel walkway and walked into the cloakroom, to hang my coat and start getting on with my day. I was a bit early, but I was sure that no one would mind a pair of extra hands. Something alerted me that there was someone else in the room. I turned around and saw John standing there. I looked at him and saw the same sort of longing in his eyes that I had seen in my own all weekend. I did not consciously decide to bring him to the storage room, but suddenly found myself there pressing myself against him, straining to reach his face and his lips. I knew what I wanted, but I wasn't quite sure about his wishes, so I just gently pressed my lips against his, waiting for him to either respond or reject my advances. I can't say I was disappointed when he pressed his lips hard against mine just micro seconds later. * * * * * I saw her walking slowly towards the school entrance. She was staring at her own feet, with a sad expression on her face. I wondered what she was thinking about, didn't she like working here? Had something happened to her? The thought of anyone or anything causing her pain, made my body grow tense and my hands tighten into fists as an ache spread in my chest. She walked unseeingly into the cloakroom where I was standing, hands in my pockets, waiting for her. She was so beautiful; her hair shiny and her cheeks touched with pink from the cold morning air. I watched as she removed and hung her coat and then let my eyes roam over her amazing body. I drew a quick breath and she turned around and saw me. Her eyes met mine and as hers grew heated, I started wondering if meeting her at school had been such a great idea after all. I almost thought she'd throw herself into my arms as she came running, but instead she took my hand and pulled me further into the cloakroom, into a hidden corner that seemed to be used as some kind of storage area. Before I could blink she had pushed me into a corner and was standing on her toes, pressing her body into mine and pulling my face closer to hers. The fact that she was the initiator was an extreme turn-on, but it made me realize that I had to be the voice of reason, the one that would have to put a stop to this before it was too late. And then, when her warm, moist, soft lips touched mine I realized it was already too late. She started with a somewhat tentative, close-mouthed kiss, seemingly waiting for me to accept her offering, but as I responded, putting all my wanting into that one first kiss, her kisses turned frenzied and soon we were letting our mouths and tongues dance and fight and make precious love. Time seemed to stop as we let ourselves get pulled into a hurricane of heated feelings. As I started kissing my way down her neck and shoulder, her strong scent pulled me in and I felt dizzy with emotions. My body was on fire for her and without conscious thought I lifted her up and felt her wind her legs around me. A quick look around us showed me a sink cabinet in the other corner of the room and a couple of steps later I had her sitting on the sink, her eyes shiny, her mouth slightly open and her legs spread wide. I pressed my aching groin into hers, heard her breath catch and started kissing her with hard, open-mouthed kisses. With my left hand on her butt, I pulled her even closer and then let my other hand slide slowly from her waist up to her glorious breasts. As I filled my hand with one heavy, genuinely female globe I felt a trembling, but strong hand pull my shirt out of my pants and a second later that same hand was greedily caressing my body. If there hadn't been a commotion in the open areas of the cloakroom at that point, I'm not sure what would have happened. I don't know if there is such a thing as a sexual "point of no return", but if there is, there's a big chance that we'd have reached that point just minutes or even seconds later. After hurriedly fixing our outfits, and making sure that her hair was not too badly tousled, I gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, handed her the note I had planned to give her and walked away with a dull pain in my groin, but with a happy smile on my face. River Ch. 08 "Earth to Sarah" Mary said laughingly "Hey, Sarah, what's life like in dreamland nowadays?" "What?" I answered and looked up at three smiling faces, "What did you say?" "Well, it started out as a discussion about educational systems" Mary answered "and then you sort of stopped talking in the middle of a sentence, your eyes went blank and you started staring at the wall". With a shake of her head she started laughing a great heaving, belly laugh with snorted words that sounded like "friends", "love" and "hilarious". "What is Mary talking about?" Rose asked "have you met someone?" I felt my face grow pink as I nodded. "I have no idea how Mary could know anything about it though" I said with a pout, which made Mary laugh even harder wheezing something about "being all cute". "Tell us!" Susan said with a quick nod. "The last thing we heard was that you weren't dating anymore?" "Well, I'm not really dating now either" I said with an angry look at Mary who was wiping her eyes on a napkin, trying to get herself under control again. "I've met someone though" I confirmed "someone that I really like". "But who is he?" Rose asked "Someone we know? Is it that friend of Harrys, what's his name, you know the one with the beard?" "I'd say he's a tall man with wide shoulders and baby blue eyes" Mary giggled. "He does not have baby blue eyes" I said before looking at Mary and seeing her glittering eyes. "Told you!" Mary answered with a wide smile. "Does this mean you're actually dating the father of that boy you told us about?" Susan asked with a frown. "You said you wouldn't, didn't you?" "We're not dating" I said through my teeth "not yet at least". "Hold on!" Mary said with a serious expression on her face. "I can tell that you're way past like-liking him and way into love-loving him. And you're not dating?" "He wants to take it slow" I mumbled. "Come again?" Mary said and leaned closer. "He wants to take it slow to protect both Sam and himself" I told them. "And you're ok with that?" Mary asked with a skeptically lifted eyebrow. "I mean, based on that glossy eyed dreaming session a couple of minutes ago, which I guess had Mr. Tall and Strong in it?" "I'm mostly ok about it" I answered. "But the thing is, I'm having difficulties staying calm and keeping myself at a distance." I saw Mary studying my face and then she said "Well, you're not calm at all are you? Frankly I'd say you look all hot and bothered". My face grew red as I nodded "Yes, that pretty much sums it up". Susan shook her head slightly and Rose smiled at me and took my hand. "Well I'm happy for you" she said. "I'd be happier if she told us whether she'd tested his strength yet or not" Mary said, clearly expecting an answer. My whispered "I have" had Mary laughing hard again. "Good girl" she said, "good girl". - - - - - I didn't stay long at our regular Thursday evening wine or whine-session, because I wanted to get home. The fact that we didn't actually date did not prevent us from staying in contact through text messaging and e-mail. The note he'd given me Monday morning had held all of his contact information; telephone numbers, e-mail addresses and even his home address. I had written the first text message with shaking hands Monday evening. It was a simple "hello it's me" and from then on we'd sent each other lots and lots of messages. We tried to get to know each other that way instead of meeting - because it seemed safer that way - and after sending questions and answers for three evenings, we were both getting pretty comfortable with each other as well as knowledgeable about each other's situations, habits, favorites (colors, food, cars, clothes, you name it), most detested vegetable and so on. Late in the evenings, one or both of us usually slipped in our decision to take it slowly by sending a heated text message. Considering the level of attraction, I guess it would have been strange otherwise. We didn't make any plans to see each other, but we had a sort of hidden agreement that any dating would have to wait until the next time that Sam was at his grandparents place. The idea of waiting more than three weeks almost made me cry; I was beginning to believe that you could actually die from sheer frustration. Needless to say, we made sure we didn't meet at my workplace, because all that tension might cause unwanted situations and none of us wanted to go as far as or further than the last time we'd met there. I suspected that I would always have very fond memories of that storage room; the room in itself now gave me warm tingling sensations every time I had to go there. And I made sure I went there, often... - - - - - Friday morning I woke up with a smile on my face. I couldn't remember what I'd been dreaming about but I strongly suspected it was something about me and John. I had a short workday ahead of me and as I got ready for work I thought about some of the things he'd told me about his life, his ex-wife, their life together and the way he felt he had to keep Sam safe and away from his violent nature. Somehow I still felt sorry for the mother that wasn't allowed to see and be with her child. Johns description of how she had forced him to give her money or she'd hurt the boy took away most of my sympathy for her, but not all of it. If there was just a way to get her off of the drugs, perhaps she... I stopped myself from thinking the thought fully through, because that was not my problem to solve, that's what John had written when I'd asked if there was anything you could do about it. The day went by swiftly and smoothly, and before I knew it, it was time for me to go home. I had already planned to go shopping, since I needed some small things for the weekend. My plan for the weekend was that I was going sit in my sofa, watch romantic movies and eat popcorn. I drove my car to a grocery store close to the school, took a shopping cart and started walking lane up and lane down searching for what I needed for my lazing-around-at-home-weekend. Having picked up almost everything I needed, I turned around a corner in the store and suddenly I felt electric; I could feel all of the hairs on my body standing on edge. As I slowly turned around I saw a familiar person standing a few feet away. He hadn't seen me yet, but as I lifted my hand to press my fingers against my trembling lips he looked up. His wonderful face was lit by a wide smile as he approached me. "Hey" he said "are you just getting off from work?" "Yes" I answered "and are you picking Sam up early today?" Then it was as if something clicked in both of us. We didn't say anything more but just let our eyes caress each other's bodies with increasing heat. "Sarah" was all he said as he took one long step towards me. "John" I answered with a strained tone to my voice. I felt my body tense in anticipation at the wild look in his eyes. He took a hold of my hand and said "Come with me... now, please" with a rough voice. We left our carts as they were and half ran out the store, my small hand held by his big one. He pulled me towards his car, opened the passenger door and lifted me into the seat. Before I could blink he had the car started and was speeding out of the parking lot. Thankfully he didn't go far, but pulled up by an abandoned industry building and shut the engine off. He turned towards me and I could tell by the strained expression in his face that he was just as affected as I was. He pulled his hand through his hair, shook his head once, pushed his car seat back as far as he could and then reached for me to pull me into his lap. Before letting him pull me close I wiggled out of my coat and my shoes, and then finally I was in his arms again. He leaned in and started pressing wild open-mouthed kisses against my soon overheated lips. A moment later he was unbuttoning my blouse as I pushed myself hard against his erection. My bra was buttoned at the front and the clever man soon had it opened and as far off as the sleeves of my blouse would allow. He pushed me back against the steering wheel and with half closed eyes I could see him look at me, swallow and whisper "beautiful, so-so beautiful". He leaned in and started pressing hot kisses against the top of my stomach, my ribs and the smooth sides of my breasts. With a groan he leaned in and licked warm circles around my right nipple. Frustrating little circles that were close to where I wanted him, but not close enough. With a fierce growl I pulled at his hair and pushed his warm, wet, eager mouth onto my fully erect nipple. As he suckled on one nipple his big hand caressed my other breast. When he closed his fingers around that second nipple and squeezed hard at the same time as he bit down gently on the first one I almost thought there might be a truth to the stories about nipple play orgasms. I heard myself whimper loudly and felt him tug wildly at the buttons of my pants. I pushed his hands away and finished my own buttons. Then I leaned in and started pulling at his clothes. We somehow managed to remove his jacket and shirt and now it was my turn to stare with wide eyes. He was beautifully shaped with strong muscles and a tanned skin that was getting goose bumps as I let my hands caress him. As I leaned in I could feel the scent of him, a strong smell that was a mix of thoroughly excited man and pleasant, mild cologne. He smelled just right. I started nibbling and licking my way from his shoulder up his neck when he suddenly pulled my face away and started kissing my mouth again. He was pushing himself rhythmically against my wet and willing core and I was almost sobbing with need. "I need, I need" I whimpered. "I know what you need baby" he said roughly as he pushed me away from him and back against the steering wheel. Somehow he lifted me up and pulled my pants and panties down, not far, but far enough for him to be able to get access to my throbbing, eager lips. He kept one of his hands under me to lift me up against the wheel and with an even rougher voice he told me to put my feet on his legs. My shaking legs were steadied by his one strong hand and before long I could feel his other hand stroking my butt, caressing the cleft between my butt cheeks and then finally, finally parting my outer lips and stroking me first slowly and then with increasing speed until my whole body tensed in an orgasm stronger than any I had ever had before. My loud orgasmic shout mixed with his as we both shook in joined, but not fully joined pleasure. River Ch. 09 My lazy stay-at-home Friday, started wonderfully with that car-based release of pressure. After putting our clothes back on with fumbling fingers and trying to fix both my and his hair, whilst looking guiltily out of the windows of his car, John drove us back to the grocery store. We gave each other one long, loving kiss and said goodbye. I slowly walked to my car and then equally slowly drove home, head again filled with sensory memories that needed to be processed. I walked like a sleepwalker into my apartment and just barely remembered to shut the door. I then threw myself in the sofa, my body warm and spent, with a satisfied smile on my face. The tension I had been feeling for days was gone and I felt deliciously rumpled and very well loved. The phone rang and I reached for it quickly, "perhaps it's John" I thought smiling hopefully. "Hello" I answered, my voice as lazy and satisfied as the rest of me. "Hello yourself" I heard Mary say, "is that a post coitus voice I'm hearing my dear?" "Ehhh" I answered, once again struck by the fact that my friend was a little bit too perceptive. "Never mind" she said with a quick laugh "I didn't call you to interrogate you; I just wanted to know how you were". And that was Mary for you; if she worried about one of us, she usually took some extra time checking up on that person. The fact that she called to check if I was ok made me remember Rose and the way she had acted a little less... rosy that Thursday evening. "I'm fine" I told Mary and added "but I think there might be something wrong with Rose". The fact that Mary was silent for a long while spoke louder than words, she definitely knew something and since she didn't say anything, I guessed it was something bad. I went from calm and well pleasured to instantly anxious and worried. "What's wrong with Rose, please tell me" I begged her. "Is she ill?" "The only thing I can say is that she's not happy with her Iife" she answered and then continued with "I think Rose will tell us really soon what is wrong, and I think it's better if you don't say anything to her or ask her questions until she's decided what to do". She finished the Rose-discussion with a firm "you know I'll keep an eye on her and help her if I can". Her simple explanation and my trust in her ability to keep an eye on all of us made me relax enough to laugh and tell her "You know you sound sort of like a fairy godmother sometimes". She barked out a short laugh and then answered with a surprisingly clear singing voice "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo". We continued talking for a little while about simple, everyday things and I even ended up telling her what had happened between John and me, the less private parts of our story. She said she was thrilled that I'd finally met someone that was good to me and for me and after wishing each other a nice weekend, we said goodbye and "see you Thursday". I fell back into my sofa, now suddenly sleepy; it was exhausting jumping from well-pleasured to anxious to happy-friendly. Or if it was just the pleasure after pressure part? I was about to dose off when my phone buzzed. The text message was from John and it said "Do you think we dare try to have dinner tomorrow?" I quickly answered "You, me and Sam?" and just as quickly I got the response "No, just you and me. Sam will go to his grandparents". I answered "Ok" and his last message read "I'll pick you up at 8". I jumped out of the sofa and did a little "yay"-dance on the floor by the TV. Then that first "uh-oh, I'm going on a date"-wave hit me and I ran into my walk-in closet to try to find something to wear. Half an hour later I had found the perfect clothes for the occasion and this time when I sat down in my soft, comfortable sofa I fell asleep straight away. - - - - - The next morning I woke up with a somewhat strained neck, from sleeping in the sofa half of the night, but I felt a bubbly, happy feeling inside of me when I thought about my date with John that evening. Since I had slept unusually late I didn't have that many hours to anticipate and worry myself through. I started with a long leisurely brunch, reread parts of one of my favorite books and then took a long bath accompanied by soft, calming music. After cleaning, grooming, polishing, tweaking and moisturizing myself into perfection I was ready to get dressed. I had chosen my softest, prettiest and most expensive set of underwear, a black set with a gently winding vine curling its way across my bra and panties. The same vine was stitched onto the thigh highs that I fastened to a simple, black garter belt. I walked up to the mirror and took a long look at myself. As I looked I had to smile, because I looked ridiculously happy and beautiful. I let my fingers follow my generous curves and tickle my soft skin and I could tell that my senses were still heightened. Every brush of my hands sent tingling sensations through my body, tingles that collected at my very core. The dress I had chosen was a simple but seductive black knee-high one with long sleeves and a generous neckline. The sensual creature that gave me a saucy smile in the mirror also gave me a sense of power. The messy but classy hairdo and the high heels perfected the image. With one last application of lip-gloss I was as ready as I was ever going to be, in more ways than one. A short time later the doorbell rang and with quick, bouncing steps I speeded to the door. I opened the door to a picture of manly perfection. Dressed in everyday, office clothes he had looked pretty amazing, dressed in jeans he had been absolutely mouthwatering. Now, in his black and white suit and shirt I almost wanted to squeal like a teenager seeing her favorite pop artist for the first time. I saw his body grow tense at the sight of me and my sense of female empowerment grew as his eyes grew large and blank, when I greeted him with a smile. He started taking a step towards med but stopped himself, straightened his shoulders and said "I think it's best if don't touch you right now" with a slightly hoarse voice "Shall we go?" I got my coat, locked my door and started walking towards his car. With a smile I realized I had yet another place where I would always feel that excited feeling, as I remembered what we had done to each other there. My smile grew wider as I glided into the car, remembering that he'd actually been eager enough to lift me up and into the car the previous time we'd been in it. Once again every bump in the road reminded me of my sexual readiness, my body balancing on the very edge of release. I made a concentrated effort to pull myself out of my memories and when we reached the restaurant, I managed to look, walk and talk as if I hadn't been stuck in fantasies about completing what we'd started in his car. Walking into the restaurant I realized that the tall woman with the silver-blond hair standing in front of us, waiting for the head waiter to show her to her table, was actually Susan. "Hey, Susan!" I said and touched her shoulder. With a jump she turned around with a question in her eyes. "What, who?" she asked, but when she saw me she smiled and squeezed my hand. "Sarah! What are you doing here?" she asked and then added with an embarrassed smile "I mean, I'm happy to see you". I introduced John and Sarah and we talked some about what had been happening since we last met. I almost felt sorry for Susan, eating out all by herself, but before I could ask her to join us for dinner, two nicely dressed, handsome, dark haired men came walking and placed themselves by her sides. "Our table's ready. Are you coming?" one of them asked and placed his arm around her. The other man put his hand on her back and then looked at us with a slight worry-wrinkle between his eyes. With a quick wave of her hand Susan said goodbye to us and then glided into the restaurant closely followed by the two men. "There's definitely a story there" I thought to myself as my eyes followed them into the restaurant. I turned my surprised-looking face towards John and then realized that he was also watching them walk away, his eyes full of unanswered questions. Our thoughts were interrupted by the waiter wanting to show us to our table. John had chosen the perfect restaurant for a first, intimate dinner. By the use of a clever interior design and with screens and flower arrangements, the tables were separated from each other, so that the guests would be able to have a larger amount of privacy than in usual restaurants. The lights were dimmed and the soft music that was playing had a smooth, almost sensual feel to it. "All this, and a wonderful man to share it with" I thought to myself. With a wide smile I told John as well, that is was beyond perfect. As we enjoyed the delicious food we kept a simple conversation going, talking as if we'd known each other for much longer than we actually had. The ever present attraction was kept at bay, mostly by not touching each other. My hands, so eager for contact with any part of him, kept reaching out and I had to stop myself so many times, that it was almost ridiculous and in the end I just laughed when I noticed what kept happening. John on the other hand seemed to be basically sitting on his own hands to keep from touching me, so I think both of us knew that we would eventually end up hurrying out of there. When we'd just started with our dessert, a divine chocolate mousse, and I was licking the lovely chocolate goo off my spoon with a low groan I heard a growl from the other side of the table. Looking up I could tell that John was following every move I made and I realized that the way I was enjoying my food was putting him even more on the edge. Feeling completely, wonderfully female I leaned forward, making good use of my neckline and the deep cleavage that appeared at a certain angle. I reached for some more chocolate mousse and lazily licked my spoon whilst looking at him through my eye lashes. His body was twitching slightly and he had a somewhat crazy look in his eyes. From my next spoon of sweet deliciousness I "accidently" spilled some onto the exposed parts of my right breast. I heard one of his knees hit the table hard as he called out for the waiter. Minutes later we were taking yet another quick drive, this time eagerly hurrying towards my apartment. After fumbling with my keys and finally letting both of us into my apartment, I quickly dropped my shoes and my coat on the hallway floor. Looking back at John, that was still standing in the doorway, I heard him grumbling something about "being eager as a schoolboy". I started walking with slow, sensual steps towards my bedroom, unbuttoning my dress and demonstratively letting it glide from my shoulders and down my back. With a muted bang the door was shut and as I kept walking I could hear long, heavy footsteps following my way down the hallway. Finally ending my journey at the end of my bed, I turned around just before he reached me and let the dress fall off completely. Pure fire shot between my legs as I saw his eyes grow impossibly dark at the sight of my almost naked body. He froze in speechless, motionless wonder, hands stretched out towards me, almost, but not quite reaching me. I felt the timeless power of pure femininity as I walked towards my bed and sat down slowly, raising my hand in a come-hither motion. * * * * * Leaving Sarah at the grocery store seemed like the hardest thing I'd ever done, but I had promised to come get Sam early, and because of all the previous disappointments in his life, I really tried to make sure that all of my promises were kept. I had to pull my shirt out of my pants to cover some of the evidence of my and Sarah's recent activities. I didn't and wouldn't ever feel embarrassed at the fact that her beautiful orgasm had made me come in my pants. I did, however, not want to try to explain the fact to one inquisitive 6-year old boy. As we were driving home, Sam looked at me and probably saw a silly smile on my face; a smile that just wouldn't go away. He worried his teeth on his lower lip and then he started talking. "Daaad" he said "I've been thinking". He paused and seemed to be thinking about how to continue. "Yeees" I said to keep the conversation going. "Well, I was thinking that since I like my teacher and you like my teacher too..." "Yes?" I answered wondering if he could possibly be thinking what I had just recently started thinking. "I was thinking that since we like her and she seems to like us too, couldn't we ask her to come live with us?" I looked at him quickly and he seemed to be waiting eagerly for an answer. I'm always amazed at how incredibly perceptive children are. In the few times that he had seen me and Sarah together he'd been able to tell both that I liked her and she liked me. In a child's way of seeing the simple solution in everything he'd quickly formed the idea that we should all live together. "Would you like that" I asked him. "Yes, then she could teach both of us how to build things" he answered, seeking another simple solution to his ever present wish to learn how to make things with his two small hands. "I'm not sure I can just call her and ask her to move in with us though" I said with a small smile. "No, I guess not" he said with a disappointed pout. "But you know what" I told him "I could ask her out on a date first, and see if she likes that". "Yes, yes, tomorrow" he said with a nod. "Are you sure?" I asked him, "weren't we going to do a lot of things together you and I this weekend?" "I can go to granny and gramps" he answered "they'll like that!" And simple like that my worry about not seeing Sarah alone for another 3 weeks got solved by my precious son. A phone call later, with a happy grandmother wishing me a really nice outing with my special lady friend (about time too), I sent a text to Sarah asking her out on our very first date. Several phone calls later I had managed to book a table at "the most romantic restaurant ever" according to a friend's wife. After eating and watching TV with Sam, I fell asleep with a happy smile on my face. - - - - - After a Saturday morning playing with Sam and then driving him to his grandparents, I kept busy doing things in the house and in the garden. Through all activities I felt anticipation running through me, getting stronger and stronger as the evening and our date got closer. I took a long, steaming shower, my imagination painting pictures of her standing in there with me. Pressure had been building up again since our shared release the day before, and I handled the situation with strong, quick strokes that ended in a powerful ejaculation. Perhaps that would make it easier for me to behave like a gentleman through our romantic dinner for two. Driving to her apartment I kept thinking about the incredible way that everything seemed to just fall in place, as if Sarah was supposed to be a part of my and Sam's life, as if it was all a part of some divine, greater plan. Walking up to her apartment this sense of everything being predestined filled me with calmness. Of course, just one look at Sarah made all that calm evaporate as if it had never been there. I had never seen her in a dress, and oh boy what a dress it was; short and showing all of her curves to perfection. She had done something with her hair making it look stylish but also slightly tousled, as if someone had pulled his fingers through it; just as my fingers were itching to do. Or perhaps it was the hairstyle of someone who'd been spending the afternoon in bed, vigorously active. "Beds, mustn't think about beds" I thought to myself as I got a hold of the doorframe, to keep myself from throwing myself at her. I muttered something about not touching her and then we were on our way. Of course, sitting in the car, I couldn't help thinking about the way our grocery shopping ended up in this car and I had a feeling that she was thinking about it too, the way she kept twisting in her seat. The restaurant that I had chosen was supposedly the perfect place to bring someone special, and hopefully Sarah liked the place; I only had eyes for her. Standing in the short line waiting to be seated I saw Sarah look once and then again at a tall, thin, blonde, attractive in a cold sort of a way woman standing before us. She touched the woman's shoulder and by the short conversation they had it was obvious that they were friends. By the slight pinkish tint to the tall woman's face, it seemed she was a bit embarrassed to meet us there. Before long, two men came walking up to her. The strange thing about it all was that both men showed the distinct male signs - that has been handed down to all of us, probably since the cave man age - that the blond woman was his. Finally seated at the table, we started a conversation that we kept up all through two courses. The comfortable feeling of knowing each other and food that was very well prepared and seasoned made time pass quickly. I had to keep myself from touching her and she laughingly confessed that she had to concentrate real hard too. Nevertheless, I was having hope that we would manage to get through the complete dinner without me behaving like a cave man again. My hope was still alive up until the point where dessert arrived and I got my first look at a chocolate-loving woman devouring chocolate mousse; the way she slowly and thoroughly licked every last piece of mousse off of her spoon; the way she moaned in pleasure. I had just about reached my limit when she suddenly spilled some mousse straight into her cleavage. And that was it, I quickly payed for dinner and then rushed her out of there, heading straight for her apartment. Standing in her door, holding myself still by hanging on to the doorway, I could see her walking a slow sexy walk down the hallway, throwing off clothes as she went. When her dress started falling off, my ability to hold myself still also fell away. Closing the door as slowly as I could possibly manage, I threw my shoes off and followed her quickly into what was obviously her bedroom. As I reached her she turned around and let the dress slide off all the way. I had always been fascinated by the effect that really nice underwear had on not just me, but on the woman that was wearing them. The effect that made the woman that stood before me now, look like a powerful sexual goddess. She slowly slid away from me, climbed onto the bed, seated herself and waved her fingers like a snake charmer, smilingly asking me to join her. With a whispered curse I pulled all of my clothes off, walked up to the bed and climbed onto it. Standing on my knees I could tell that she was looking at me and her breathing getting quicker told me that she liked what she saw. She reached out and touched the only part that was close enough for her to touch, my right thigh. With a shudder I closed my eyes, unable to both watch her touch me and feel her hand stroking me up and down, as far as she could reach, but just not far enough. She rose up on her knees and glided closer ending up in front of me, just inches away. She took one of my hands and pushed it onto her breast and then she pulled me in, kissing me slowly but passionately. My hand was filled with her heavy breast; my nose was filled with her special scent of female arousal; my mouth was alternatingly kissing her, licking her lips, greedily sucking her tongue or gently biting it; without pattern and without control. With a decisive hand on my shoulder she pushed me down onto her bed and then slowly crawled up, placing her thighs around my waist. Just as I could feel the moist heat of her, she placed a quick kiss on my lips and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "First I'm going to caress every part of you..." she said with fire in her voice "...slowly". "Then, I'm going to lick every part of you, thoroughly" she added with a nod. "Then I'm going to ride you... slowly... and then you're going to..." She ended the sentence without finishing it, but in my mind I had already come up with hundreds of ways I was going to... River Ch. 09 She slowly crawled down my body, obviously set on caressing my body from the bottom to the top. She sat up shortly looking into my eyes as she lifted first one heavy breast out of the cup of her bra and then the other. She then leaned over my body and started caressing me with the erect tips of her glorious breasts; one soft-but-hard nipple sliding up my left leg and the other up my right one; the only parts of her body that were touching mine. As her face reached my full erection I could feel her hot breaths whisper teasingly over it, making it jump and twitch. A short moment later her breasts brushed by, close but not close enough. As much as I was enjoying her taking control, the pain of the building pressure and having to keep myself still was almost driving me crazy. When she finally reached my face with those two glorious globes and caressed my lips with one of them I opened my mouth wide and devoured her. The sound of her whimper made my body shake and I tried to get a hold of her, to continue licking, sucking and biting but she twisted away. With heavy eyes and a wicked smile she shook her head and started crawling down my body again, this time gliding her whole body against mine, inch by glorious inch, down and down and down. Gritting my teeth I decided to endure her torment a bit longer, but to punish her with my own sensual torture just as soon as I could. She pushed my legs apart to be able to crawl in between them. She then let her left hand caress its way up my right leg at the same time as she licked and nibbled her way up my other leg. This heaven was starting to feel a bit too much like hell; I thought to myself just as her heavy, warm breath caressed my groin once more. Disappointment hit me when she pushed herself up and away from what needed her attention the most, my heavy cock reaching for her hot mouth. She reached my mouth and pressed a quick kiss there again, and then started licking and kissing her way down my neck down to a nipple that she flipped her tongue across quickly. She placed a hand on my other nipple and set to caressing and flipping both nipples in the same rhythm. My groin was lifting and reaching for her and I was finally able to press myself against her stomach. This obvious effort of mine made her loose her speed and she abandoned my nipples to glide slowly down, licking my stomach with long, a bit rougher, swipes of her tongue. Finally, finally she reached my hot, leaking cock that was so desperate for her attention. She leaned in and ran her nose from the base to the top smelling me, as her hair tickled my legs. Seconds later she swiped her tongue in one long, slow lick up my cock and ended it by swirling her tongue around the head, licking my pre-cum, tasting me and obviously liking it. Her mouth opened and she slowly slid her mouth down my cock, covering the head, sucking gently, pushing down further, letting her tongue twirl a pattern on the sensitive underside of my cock, going up and sucking a bit harder. Going down and licking and up and sucking; down and up, down and up. I could feel my balls lifting wanting to release into her mouth. As if she could feel that I was ready to blow, she lifted up and away from me and rose up to stand up on the bed, trying to keep her balance as she was hurriedly removing her panties. With her panties gone I could see her lips glistening wetly and eagerly. I suspected that the picture of her standing there, wild eyes, breasts uncovered but pushed up by the still present bra and her genitals bare and eager would always stay in my mind, until the day that I died; a day that came closer for every second that I was still not inside her. "Now, please" I groaned. She responded by sitting down on her knees again and crawling up my body. She let her pussy lips glide along my cock once and then she leaned away, lifted me up, placed the head at her entrance and slowly pushed herself down and down, until my cock was buried inside of her. She let herself rest for a while, to get used to my length and my girth, and then she started moving slowly, slowly up and down, up and down. With a grunt I flipped her over and onto her back. Slowly was just not cutting it anymore, I had a need for speed. I pushed her legs over my arms and started thrusting into her with fast, hard strokes. I saw her hand crawl down her stomach and start rubbing her clit, and when I could feel her start pulsing around me, I pushed myself even faster and harder into her. She came with a scream and as her pussy squeezed my cock with hard pulsating motions I finally let myself go. Our heated attraction finally ending in glorious, glorious completion. River Ch. 10 I woke up late Sunday morning after a long night of wonderful lovemaking. I felt warm, safe and utterly comfortable in his arms. With a smile I thought back to the past night, reliving every moment, slowly and with pleasure. Everything from my initial feeling of being in control and bringing him pleasure to our final slow lovemaking before falling asleep in each other's arms. And in between those two perfect memories, Johns fulfilled promise to punish my previous teasing by kissing, licking and tickling my whole body from top to bottom; with a strong emphasis on bottom. He absolutely worshipped my round butt, rubbing, massaging and finally kissing every part of each butt cheek, whispering words of adoration. Don't get me wrong, he payed homage to my hungry pussy as well and I don't know how many times he brought me to the very edge of orgasm, bringing his caresses and kisses to abrupt stops to prevent me from climaxing. In the end he almost had me crying from my desperate need for release. When all I could do was sob "please, please, please" he flipped me over again and made me lie down on my stomach as he pushed himself inside of me. He then took a hold of my hands, I suspect to prevent me from rubbing myself to completion, and started pushing in and out with slow but strong strokes. I could feel every part of him on top of me and inside of me; I could feel the pattern of my coverlet rubbing my nipples and the texture of the pillow that I was pressing my cheek against, every sense heightened. "I can't" I said "I can't come this way, please, please, I need..." I thought I heard him laugh real low as he started moving faster and pushing in deeper. He let my hands go and moved his hands slowly down my back. Collecting all of the pillows he could reach, he pushed all of them under my stomach and pussy giving his thrusts a slightly different angle. I don't know if it was the changed angle and his deeper penetration or the fact that one textured pillow was rubbing me as he pushed and pushed and pushed himself into me faster and harder, but before long I came with a long, tormented cry. He kept his rhythm up and kept my climax going until I was completely spent and then he came with his own loud shout. He fell down on top of me and although he was heavy, I liked the feel of his body pressed against me, pushing me down into my soft bed. The thoughts of our night together made me hot and needy again and I lazily squeezed one nipple and pressed my fingers against my clit. Before I could start rubbing myself I felt his arms circling my body from behind and his hand stopped mine so he would be able to let his fingers caress me instead. "Good morning" he said sleepily just before he pushed himself into me and started loving me slowly and gently. This time my orgasm came in a long, gentle wave and as it settled down, all of my feelings for John seemed to settle along with it. I loved him. I let myself get pulled back into his arms, my face pressed against his chest, and then fell asleep again, happy and in love. An aggressively loud signal woke us up half an hour later and John threw himself out of bed to look for his phone in the heap of clothes on the floor. He sat down on the edge of the bed and with an "I've been up all night having sex"-raspy voice he answered "Hello". I couldn't hear what the person he was talking to said, but he instantly straightened up, pulled a frustrated hand through his hair and said "I'll be right there". Tossing his phone on the bed he started throwing his clothes on quickly. With short sentences he explained that he had to go to Sam's grandparents, because Sam's mom was there causing problems. With a quick kiss on my cheek he left me sitting up in bed with a stunned expression on my face; an expression that quickly crumbled as I started crying. I had forgotten everything but my own happiness, I had forgotten about the mother. I dried my tears, decided I needed some comforting words from a friend and then quickly called Mary. "Hello, Sarah? What's wrong?" she answered. When a Sunday morning phone call causes that type of response, I guess you don't call your friends often enough. In a fast flow of words I told her what had happened, what I was worried about and that I wanted to help, but couldn't think of one single thing I could do. Before I started repeating myself she stopped me with a commandeering voice, told me to get dressed and to wait for her on my doorstep. "I'll be right there" she said before hanging up. I washed my face, brushed my hair and threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I had just made it outside when a sleek, fast-looking, silver car pulled up. Mary jumped out of the car, pulled me in for a quick hug and then said "come on" nodding towards her car. As soon as I hit the seat, Mary pulled out with screeching tires. "What...how... where are we going?" I asked her. "We're going to Sam's grandparents" she answered, keeping her eyes on the road. "What... why?" I continued. "There's a problem that needs to be solved, and it's time for us to solve it" she answered cryptically. Before I could ask any further questions Mary's phone called. She picked it up and answered quickly with short sharp words, "yes" and "get there as soon as you can" and "I'll be there in 10 minutes". "What?" I tried again, but Mary just shrugged, turned the music up and continued driving fast. After about eight minutes she slowed the car down and parked by a small house with a large, beautiful garden. Before stepping out of the car Mary reached into the back seat and pulled out a largish bag that said "First Aid". She gave it to me with a muttered "just in case"-comment. As we walked up to the house we could hear a woman screaming angrily. It was hard to hear what she was saying, but she was yelling "Sam" and "money" and I actually think I heard a "help" in there somewhere too. As we came closer we could see John standing not far from the house, screeching woman, knife in her hand, standing far too close to him for my comfort. Scanning him for any injuries, I could finally take a deep breath; it looked as if he was unhurt. Mary told me to go stand on the porch and to wait for John. Her voice said "no arguments" and I did as she said. The porch was close enough so I could hear most of what was being said, but far enough away for me to be out of harms way. Mary then walked quickly up to John and the woman. "Hello John" Mary said with a calm voice "I'm Mary, Sarah's friend". Surprisingly she then also turned to the woman and said "Hello Jane". How could she possibly know her name? Come to think of it, how could she possibly know where Sam's grandparents lived? Before I was able to figure out any answers to the mysterious how-questions, Mary used the same calm voice and said "John, I would like you to go to Sarah and your son Sam now. They both need you". John looked as confused as I felt, but as he turned around and saw me standing there, he obviously decided to do as Mary said and started walking towards me. The love in my eyes turned to dread as I saw the woman - Jane - start running after him, knife held high. Before the panicked scream that was building inside of me could reach my lips, Mary stepped in, deftly removed the knife from Janes hand and stopped her. "I think you'll find that in this episode of the story, I'm the knife-waving crazy woman" Mary said before tossing the knife into some bushes by their side. Jane started waving her arms, this time simply using her hands to try to cause pain, but Mary brushed all of her attempts off, as if she was nothing more than a bothersome fly. The angry woman seemed to tire soon, and when she stopped fighting, Mary stepped closer and started talking as calmly as before, but too low for me to hear what she was saying. John then came up to me and pulled me into his arms. "Sarah" he whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. Leaning backwards in his arms, I started looking him over to see if he was hurt after all. He seemed to realize what I was doing because he whispered "I'm fine, I'm fine" and then hugged me close again. Mary kept talking to Jane, who was no longer trying to fight, but seemed to be shrinking into herself, no emotions left but a deep, tired, desperate sadness. She started sobbing and then, strangely enough, let herself be pulled into Mary's arms. Mary held on to the sad shell of a woman, still whispering to her. She seemed to want an answer to something, and when Jane nodded, Mary lifted her head and gave a discrete sign, looking down towards the street. Two darkly dressed men came walking up to the two women. When Jane saw them approach she looked scared and started shaking her head, but Mary just calmly introduced the men and continued talking to her, explaining something with that annoyingly low voice. Jane seemed strengthened by what Mary said, pulled herself up and with her back surprisingly straight she walked with the men down the garden. Mary walked with them talking to one of the men before handing him a folded paper and turning around towards us. We had been standing, staring at what was happening with surprise on our faces. When Mary came close to us, she probably saw our gaping expressions, because she laughed softly and then said "Let's go inside and I'll tell you all about it". As we entered the house, an elderly couple came walking towards us, obviously anxious and worried. John introduced me and Mary, and then started looking for his son, desperate to see him and hold him. "He's in the kitchen" the old woman said and started walking, leading us to him. Sam was sitting on the kitchen sofa, feet pulled up under him, hugging a cuddly toy, his face pale. As he saw his dad his face grew brighter and he threw himself at John who hugged him close. Moments later Sam leaned over his father's shoulder and spotted me. First he seemed confused, but then he smiled at me and wriggled out of his father's arms. He came running up to me, took my hand and with fast words explained that he needed to show me something he'd built from building blocks his grandparents had just given him. I happily went with him, certain that John would tell me everything Mary told them, later on. I was glad that I could provide some sort of comfort to both Sam and John by being there for them, if only by admiring Sam's creations, and probably by helping him build additional ones. * * * * * Waking up in Mary's bed, closely pressed against her, feeling her sweet smell made me smile. And that smile grew wider as I felt her moving in barely noticeable, but highly recognizable movements; this woman of mine was aroused and needed some loving. After making lazy morning love to her I pulled her into my arms and before falling asleep I realized that that was what is was all about: love. I loved her and she loved me. Smile wide on my face again, I let myself fall asleep, my love pressed against my heart, where she belonged. It seemed like it was just moments later that I woke up to my phone ringing. I threw my tired body out of bed and quickly found the phone in the mess of clothes on the floor. My tired "Hello" started a tirade on the other side, I had to come quickly; Jane was there making trouble again. With a quick explanation to Sarah, I threw my clothes on, ran to my car and drove away, heart beating, one thought in my mind, to get to and protect Sam. As I got to the house, Jane was standing outside screaming at her parents through the window. Realizing that Sam was safe inside the house, I took a deep, calming breath and then walked slowly towards Jane, making sure she saw me approaching. "Jane" I said "you know you can't keep doing this" I told her, trying to make my voice sound calm, although there was nothing calm about me. She looked at me with distaste, almost loathing, and started walking towards me with angry steps. With waving arms she started yelling at me, telling me what she really thought about me - nothing I hadn't already heard before, telling me that I had taken her family from her, that she had no one and nothing. In my anger I could still feel somewhat sad for her, although it wasn't me that had taken everything from her, but the drugs. Both I and her parents and had tried to help her, to get her off the drugs, but in the end the task was too big for us. She didn't want help and she didn't need it, she'd kept saying. Looking at the skinny, filthy, tired woman before me, I could only see small signs of the person she'd been before, the woman I had once loved. As if she could feel me pitying her, her anger and her yelling increased; repeating herself over and over again about how unfair life was, how mistreated she was, that her family didn't help her and on and on. It seemed like she was going to go on forever, but in a surge of anger, she pushed her hand into her coat and pulled out a short, sharp-looking knife. I took a step back as she started waving her hands again, holding the knife out, still repeating the same litany, the thoughts she obviously believed was the truth. Keeping my eyes on the knife, I stood still and listened to her, knowing that trying to make her see that there might be another truth was hopeless. We were both interrupted by a dark-haired, dark-eyed woman that walked up to us and started talking with a calm, decisive voice. She told me to go to Sarah and Sam, and when I turned towards the house I could see Sarah standing there, eyes wide and scared. As if pulled by an invisible thread I started walking towards her away from the screaming mess behind me. Sarah smiled but then suddenly looked scared again. I turned around just in time to see the woman - Sarahs friend, Mary? - removing the knife from Jane and tossing it away. I walked slowly backwards looking at the dark-haired woman talking with calm words to Jane, telling her something about addiction now being considered a brain disease, not a personality problem, talking to her in a steady stream of words, about how she knew how it felt, that some people were always going to feel that desperate need for something, but that she also knew it could be controlled and she knew that Jane would be able to see that too. Having now reached the porch and Sarah, I couldn't hear the low words anymore, but I don't think the words were as important as the very slow and calming voice that she was using. Some of the things she said obviously had an effect, since Jane first started trying to hit her and then stopped and fell apart, crying. I hadn't ever seen her cry when she was on her warpath against everything and everyone. Seeing Jane held by the strange woman, crying with great heaving sobs, made me feel angry at myself. Why hadn't I tried harder to help her? Two men came walking and after being reassured by the woman, Jane walked with them towards a big, dark car that was parked in the street. The dark-haired woman, Mary, walked towards us and with a low, husky laugh she told us to go inside and she'd tell us what had happened. With my hand in Sarah's I opened the door and was met by Fred and Ingrid, Jane's parents. They were worried, but Ingrid led us into the kitchen where I was met by a running Sam, who threw himself into my arms. He was safe and seemed mostly unharmed by what had happened. When he saw Sarah, he quickly pulled her with him, to show her his new toys and if I knew him right, to play, build and create stuff, the way they both liked to on weekdays. With a cup of coffee each, we sat down at the table, ready to hear the story Mary had to tell. She seemed to collect her thoughts and then started talking. "In short, what we have done is to send Jane to a very special facility that has had great results treating addiction by addressing the fundamental problems instead of treating the symptoms. Addiction is considered a brain disease, or rather a small malfunction, and people with that malfunction will have to learn how to live with it for the rest of their lives. She will go through an initial, standard detox process, followed by weeks of learning how to handle her new, clean life. She will be given tools, so she can identify when she's in the risk zone for new addictive behaviors. Because she will be an addict for the rest of her life, be it drugs, alcohol, gaming, sex, basically anything can trigger addictive behavior. She will have to be strong, but I think she has it in her." She took a breath and then continued. "She will be given every possible help, and when she's proven free from her addiction, she will be given a new life and a new start, with a small home and job opportunities." "How..." I started worriedly "how is this all payed for?" "Every expense has been cleared by an organization that I have a close cooperation with" she answered. I wanted to ask her what organization, but she seemed unwilling to discuss the money issues further. Ingrid and Fred both started crying, holding on to each other, their worries calmed by the fact that their daughter would be taken care of. Mary said her goodbyes, shook our hands and I walked her out. She gave me a wide smile, told me to take care of Sam and Sarah and jumped into her sports car. The expensive car made me think that perhaps there was no organization, but just a well-off woman's crusade against the evils of the world. I shook my head at that fancy idea and walked back into the house. I brought Sam and Sarah to our house and we spent a wonderful afternoon playing together. In the evening, both of my loves, exhausted by a full day, fell asleep against me in our sofa. With all this love and not having to worry about Sam's mom any longer I felt a sense of calm and joy. We were going to have a wonderful life together.