2 comments/ 19201 views/ 10 favorites Living Heart Ch. 01 By: cawastedyouth All the other women danced around on the club floor, lost to the rhythmic thumping of the intense dance music. So, when I felt the first tug of sorrow on my empty chest, I was a little taken aback. It was someone else's heart breaking. I had to correct myself. Their heart was already broken. I scanned the room, looking against the walls for a lone woman crying. It was not uncommon for a woman to come here with her lover and find her lover on the floor with another, often more seductive woman. This was not a club for the meek. Women came here with the single purpose of hooking up. And frankly, until I had noticed the pain felt by this woman, the club scene had bored me tonight. The only betrayal of my boredom was my fingers tapping to the entrancing rhythm on the tiny glass table. The pairs and groups swayed, some lost already to the dance of love, which undoubtedly would lead to the tawdry romances in the bathrooms. My night was dedicated to finding someone who would come home with me and never be seen again. I had planned to do to this woman what I had done to all the other women: seduce them, perhaps even bring them to my apartment, have a night of unbridled lesbian sex and then, dump them in some ravine to be found by a horrified farm worker later in the month, after I had recovered from the heady effects their blood had in my veins. Before you recoil in horror, take the fact lightly that I would not die if I starved myself. Hunger in a vampire grows and gnaws at the very core of our being. To resist the urge to feed can drive one to madness, killing many innocent, undeserving people in horrifying ways. I grew to view my choice as one life for a few months instead of twenty or more in a matter of weeks. In the end, only a few would loose their lives every year. Ah yes, even among the undead, we have our morals. The high-pitched electronic beat grew more intense. Just the aroma of sweat made my need for feeding grow. My fangs dug into my lower lip in anticipation. A few brave women dared to flirt with me earlier, twisting their tongues in the lewdest manners. None would try buying me drinks though. I had seen to that fact sitting in front of three shots of whiskey. I did not want a brazen woman this night. I was looking for something very different, but what I did not really know. Certainly, I had taken my share of lovers, but none were capable of sharing my burden, nor had they wished the pain of being apart from me. Though the act of my heart beating inside my chest had long been dormant, I am subject to the same aches and pains of love that every other being on this planet is doomed to. Again, I felt her sorrow. No woman was against any of the walls. I tilted my head to listen better; it was if the crowd was blocking her from my sight. Finally, again, I felt her pain more directly and I saw her sitting at a table on the very edge of the dance floor. I carefully assessed the nearest tables, void of any thought beyond the goal of trying to comfort this woman who clearly called out to me. I hesitated glancing this woman over. She was smaller than my usual type. She sighed wistfully; I felt her tears brim on her eyes. I could not hold back. The echo of her pain was too much for me to continue to ignore. "Pardon me miss, but I can't help but notice that something is troubling you." She looked away, her lips parting and I feel the rejection coming I know the line all too well, 'Leave me in peace', but she stops herself, and then looks up locking her eyes to mine. I smiled and I lead her to the dance floor as she took my hand, pulling her close to me, my hands on her waist, her head on my shoulder, her heart nearly thundering in my own chest. Her eyes were closed tightly as if the sight of other women watching us make our way onto the dance floor was too much. I took the chance to reassure her with my arms wrapped around her tightly. She made a little murmur of comfort and I allowed my teeth to graze her milky skin on her neck. Steeling myself to avoid frightening her more, I brushed my lips against her neck softly and shuddered. Even her skin tasted of her pain. She looked up to me filled with a million questions. "Is this all there is?" She asks me innocently, "I mean between two women? Just being close and knowing that it's not wrong?" I allowed a finger to caress her cheek so very softly and whispered to her as we swayed to the music. I gently tipped her view to the other women gyrating with need against other women without a second thought. "Love is what all these women think they've found tonight. Love, what you should want and have, is like something very precious and dear to your body and soul. Yours feels like it was ripped out of your chest." My heart fell, as I thought to myself, 'Your blood, your life is too innocent for me to take from you.' She shuddered in my arms. I knew she would start to cry and I held her against my shoulder. "Let go of the pain Sweeting," I whispered, feeling her hot tears sear my skin through my black silk shirt. I glanced about the floor bathed in blue lights, looking for a way to take her out of this to let her cry to me without the unnecessary audience. Again, I felt another wave in my chest. I looked down at her in my arms and I knew taking her somewhere private was the last thing she wanted. She looked up to me, her eyes red and raw. "Can you, I want you...to take away my pain please." She stuttered through her request of me not realizing the seriousness of her request. I stared into her brown eyes, wishing that her pain were not so deep. "Sweeting, eternity is a long time to have pain." I stroked her cheek. She pulled away from me, dejected. "I'll find someone else." I conceded. "Yes Sweeting, you can always find another. But not one who would reject you because you should be loved. You should know what love feels like." "I already have, and she ripped my heart away." Her brown eyes were turning raw and out ran large frightened tears as she tried to hold her pride together. I hesitated, my mind twisted with anger against a woman who could be so cruel to such a delicate rose, then reached for her holding her against me. She held enough anger. I needed to provide her with compassion. "She is a fool, Sweeting," I whispered in her ear. I held her against me for the rest of the evening while the club churned out song after song. Slowly, as the time ticked away the occupants slowly disappeared to their destinations. The last call had come and passed. The neon lights were replaced by bright florescent ones. I looked into her brown eyes and kissed her forehead. "Time to take you home, Sweeting." "But the lights are on, the magic is over." She finally took a good look at me under the lights of reality. I sensed her fear starting to wash over her. The anonymity provided by the neon glow of the dance lights had concealed so much about me. I smiled. "No, the magic ends when you're done asking me questions." I promised. "I only bite those who I think might deserve it," I joked softly to her as we walked into the soft glow of the streetlights. I enjoyed her soft touch on my arm tucked under my elbow. I walked with her down the empty streets, watching her look at me from the corners of her eyes. I reluctantly glanced about the street. No living creature other than us seemed to exist. With every step I took, I felt my blood pound with desire for this woman. My fangs lengthened and self-consciously, I kept my mouth closed to keep from frightening her more. My eyes roamed her body, a flicker of a dream danced in my mind of having her writhing under my body. "Where is your car?" She asked, looking about dark streets. "I don't own one." I said unapologetically. Another awkward moment passed between us and I cleared my throat to speak. "Are you feeling all right? Did you drink too much?" I asked. I used the questions to help distract me from the growing need to draw her close and brush my lips to her neck. Even now, I could hear the drumming of her pulse in her neck. I quickly shut my mind from that part of her. I did not want her like this, at least not at this very moment. Briefly an image of her writhing underneath me on the brink of orgasm as I teased the most sensual points on her body, danced in my mind. The temptation was there. I had to do little more than look into her eyes again and she would fall into a trance, a slave to my every whim. Her tiny frame begged for my physical protection. As tempting as it was, I wanted her freely. "Where are we going?" She glanced back at the cold metal door where the club was. The lights were dimmed, clearly stating there was no going back now. I shrugged. "Wherever you want." I watched her shiver again and put a hand to her head. Gently, I sought to find what was causing her consternation. To my relief, it was just her way of trying to sort out the events that had lead up to this very moment. I released myself from her and stepped up to the curb where a red light kept us from crossing the street. We stood at a corner and waited for the crosswalk sign. "What's your name?" she finally asked me. "Only if you tell me yours," I whispered. I wondered briefly if I had just demanded too much of her, then I heard a soft strangled sound from her throat. "Grace deLong." She said so softly that I could barely hear. "Angel." To my surprise, she laid her head on my shoulder and I accepted her intimate touch by wrapping my arm around her waist. "There is no need to be so tense my sweet Grace. I won't hurt you." My fangs dug into my lower lip reminding me that perhaps that promise would only last for tonight. I summoned the cab I sensed from two blocks away; my fangs protesting in my steadfast resolve not to take her tonight. "Can I see you again?" she asked looking up at me. I kept a steady eye on the street and felt some relief when the headlights from the cab appeared. I looked into her searching eyes and relaxed with a promise. "Just think of my name, and I'll be with you." The yellow cab stopped next to us and I opened the door and guided her into the clean leather interior. I stood on the corner watching the cab drive away. She looked out the back nearly pleading with me, my fangs wanting every ounce of her soul. I won't be far Grace. I promised her silently. She turned and sat in the cab as it sped her away. You are worthy of true love Grace. Living Heart Ch. 02 I heard Grace's sobs for me as I lay in my coffin deep in my darkened apartment. My heart ached for her agony. As promised though, I sent her my heart in my stead. It would calm her for a moment and then someone would brush against her and frighten her in the crowded city street. She'd murmur to herself: 'If Angel were here, I'd not feel so frightened.' Just by thinking my name, she woke me from my trance. I was obligated by my promise to at least touch her telepathically. It was harder than I had ever imagined, allowing my heart to stand in for someone else's broken one. It was an act that required me to think about Grace every second when I should have been resting. A sacrifice I could have rather done with out as my hunger had doubled slowly over this last month. I glanced at the memory of her face as the sun began to set; I was not quite ready to emerge from the confines of my coffin. Her sad eyes lingered, longing for the vision of me to reassure her in person. The image burned in my mind. As soon as the sun went down, I arose, my black cloak all around my naked body. I brushed it off my shoulders and closed my coffin, my thoughts focusing on my careful choice of what I was going to wear to see Grace again. The cooling air of the night swirled around my pale body. Just thinking about Grace all day had made my body react in ways I had long forgotten. My nipples hardened and between my legs, the undeniable dewy moisture lingered. Sex. Not the smell that came after a tawdry night of sweat and heavy breathing, but the arousal scent that drew two beings together in frenzied desire. I clenched my buttocks in frustration and selected a lacy black bra to cradle my breasts hiding the arousal of my nipples. 'Angel, where are you?' 'I'm coming Grace.' I reassured her. 'Where do you want to meet? At the club again?' she fretted and it drew a smile to my lips. She opened up her mind to me. I saw her frantically running around her apartment, nearly skipping in happiness. 'No, somewhere different.' I insisted. I chose a black linen blouse that pressed itself against my body tracing every curve from the waist up. I washed my hands and then ran my wet fingers through my hair allowing the short ends to get a little ruffled. As I dried my hands, I considered a pair of jeans that slung low across my hips. I pulled the pair on and slipped my feet into a pair of leather boots. 'Go to the café at the end of the street where you live. I'll be there.' I assured her. I was waiting for her perched gently on a wrought iron streetlight across the street from the café. I watched her enter, unsure of why she was there, looking as if she had lost something. Though all day she had been open to me evoking my name as her protector, Grace had no real conscious connection to the idea that we had been together all day. Nervously, she sat down and clutched her ivory leather purse in both hands while chewing on her lip. I dared now to pull my senses away from Grace. Several couples were already there inside, chatting endlessly. The smell of food wafted from every open grill or door of this cozy establishment. I twitched at the thought of a little garlic burning my mouth, but that wasn't enough to keep me from the ethereal vision of Grace sitting on the varnished oak bench. I finally twisted my way down the long upright that allowed the streetlight to look so stately and elegant. With one last tug at my shirt, I gently entered the café, smiling as I caught Grace's attention. It took her a moment, but I stood at the door watching her for that moment, caught in surprise. She was a beautiful vision in the light blue gray dress. It had no sleeves, and allowed me to see a hint of her cleavage. I nearly drooled on the spot lost in my own fantasy. "Angel!" she was surprised to see me and stood up, gathering her pocket book. "I don't know why I came here, but I felt I would see you. All day, I've thought of you and it was like you were with me." I opened my arms and hugged her tightly. "I hoped I would get to see you." I said, nonchalantly clearing my throat as the waiter came to guide us to a private booth far away from the other couples. I waited for Grace to take her seat as she ran a hand under her bottom to fold her skirt comfortably. I took the seat across from her, lavishing the red leather seats and the yellowed candlelight. I dismissed the menus as they were laid in front of us and asked, "How was your day?" "It was okay, but you stayed on my mind all day long and I don't know why." She shrugged, "We just met once yesterday." I reached across the table to stop her fidgeting with her hands and caressed the back of her right hand with my thumb. "You've been on my mind as well Grace." Grace's hand jerked away from mine in surprise, but it was quickly suppressed as a waiter came and placed glasses of water in front of us and a plate of bread with a small bowl of garlic butter. "Can I start you off with any of our specials today?" The poor boy, probably no more than twenty, oozed in trained customer service with his wide smile. I handed the menus to him. "Bring us a half carafe of your house red wine, we'll start with a tossed salad, mustard vinaigrette on the side, and for the main dish an order of your gnocchi in your marinara sauce, no garlic." The boy frantically scribbled down my order, slid away to go locate our wine and give our order to the chef. Grace seemed to have shrunk away, no longer looking at me. "Was that all right?" I asked. "I can get him back; you can order what you like," I stammered uselessly. I didn't want the next forty minutes to be nothing but silence between us. She smiled to herself, a private joke. "You ordered for me. No one has done that since I was a small child." "Well, there's nothing about you that is still a small child," I said softly. The wine was presented and as were two wine goblets. Our server poured the first half glass. "Please, take a slice of bread," I said as I took a sip of wine, allowing the rich texture of the wine to dance across my tongue. "I noticed you didn't order garlic," She said looking rather wistfully at the butter. "If you like it, please don't let me stop you. I just have found that garlic doesn't really agree with me." My mouth twitched. There was a distant time when garlic and I were nearly fused. Angel took a slice of bread then parted her pink, shimmering lips and allowed the bread to break between her teeth. "Sourdough." She said with a smile. I returned her smile. I lost myself in the thought of her smile, her personality of a bubby vivacious woman shone through without a tremor of hesitation allowing me to see her soul freely. "How did you find out you're gay?" she asked. I had seen the question forming in her mind so I was able to answer her. "I've known I'm gay for a very long time. It took me by surprise, but I found that I wanted women very badly." I sugarcoated my past for her. I ran my finger slowly over the rim of my wine glass. I thought about the memory and kept talking. "I found myself wanting a woman I knew nothing about, Grace. She was worldly, beautiful, and she chose me to impart her sexual wisdom." "Is it all that different?" Grace asked me, her eyes wide in imagination. She had seen my memory of my first sexual encounter. I mused my answer. "A woman is very different. She knows how you yearn. She will wait for your arousal and she teases the very parts of your body that only you know about." I could see Grace squirm uncomfortably at my frank comments about sex. "Still shy?" I teased softly. Grace's flush and then her bluster that followed denied her words. "No, I've just never heard anyone speak so bluntly about sex before. That's all." I mused to myself that perhaps there was a kernel of truth to Grace's words, but I saw in her mind a flash of a memory. Grace had no control over her thoughts, so I stayed away. I would only find her memories that she openly shared with me. I took another sip of wine. 'If Grace can see into my memories so easily when we are together, I will have to be more careful.' "Why were you at the club last night?" I asked. I watched her shoulders drop. "I thought if I could just go somewhere with lots of lesbians, I'd find someone. I went to the first club that I heard from this chat room. It sounded promising that there would be a wide variety of women for me to get to know." "And you went by yourself?" Grace nodded. I couldn't hold back my curiosity any more. "Did you meet her there?" Her eyes darkened with regret. I reached for her hand to try and comfort her. I regretted my questions. Her eyes grew wide and looked at me for a moment. "Did you bring one?" I arched my right eyebrow. "Bring a what?" "A U-Haul." She asked. It took me a moment and then I laughed. "Sweeting, no." After I recovered I spoke up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you. I just didn't think you wanted someone to move in right away." "No, I don't, but it was a generalization that I thought was true." She looked horribly embarrassed. "Well, generalizations don't exist without a kernel of truth. I'm sure there are some women who need a U-Haul." I mused over the fact that I would more likely use a hearse instead. I considered Grace for a moment. "But Grace, so far, everything I'm learning about you makes me think that it would be nice." The waiter came with the salad, and slid the salad between us and then placed two plates. After he went away I served Grace half the salad and was overcome by a fit of the giggles. "What's so funny?" she asked. I forced myself to recover and said, "I was thinking about the other lesbian generalizations. And I wanted to know if you were looking at my hands." Grace blushed. I smiled. "Has anyone ever asked you how far that blush of yours extends?" I asked. I noticed she was also grateful that I had switched topics. I do suppose that the generalizations of lesbians do get tiresome. Briefly, I did wonder what other possible legitimate questions she might have, but did nothing to ask them from her. Grace looked at the table, her fingers tapping uneasily as she shook her head. I reached to silence her nervous fingers. "Grace, never be ashamed of your beauty." I said gently. I expected her to pull away from me instead I saw her stand and then come around the booth to sit next to me. The rest of the evening was a blur of peace. She laughed at my jokes, she smiled and she laid her head on my shoulder as we walked arm in arm out of the restaurant. I took her up to the steps that would lead into her apartment. I wavered for a moment and then brushed my lips to hers. Gone was the bitter taste of pain. It lingered, but no longer was it the sharp break that consumed her last night. "Don't leave me tonight." She whispered tipping her forehead against my lips as I pulled away to leave for the night. I felt her hand touch my forearm. "No sweeting, you're not ready." My thoughts betrayed my words. I wanted Grace more than anything tonight. I would chance the burning kiss of garlic. I wanted her to find comfort in my arms. I wanted to see the desire of longing in her eyes. "That is my mistake to make Angel." She leaned close to my ear and whispered, "I want you to show me Angel. You know how it is that very first time with someone you want." She looked up to me expectantly and I caved to her inner most desire to learn what desire and love truly could be between two people. Her heart in her chest wanted to forget the day before, and I was there to help it heal. She led me slowly up the stairs to her apartment, her fingers hooked loosely into my hand. I paused at the door to her apartment as she fumbled for her keys out of her purse. "Sweeting, it is not too late to deny me to enter your apartment." I whispered to her softly against her neck. I sensed her pulse quicken. My fangs dripped with saliva in anticipation. Again, they were denied with the quick pressure of my lower lip. "No, I want you to come in." she pushed the door open and led me over the threshold into her sanctuary. The one place that until just a fraction of a second ago, was her safest place from me. She closed the door and went about putting her personal things away. "Please have a seat. Would you like anything to drink?" If you only knew Sweeting. "No thank you." I said forcing myself to behave, but the anticipation of having Grace so close to me physically and knowing she felt her own arousal right as she nervously flitted about her living room and kitchen. I sank onto the couch, which had a lovely view of just a hint of a park on the corner. It was dark and shadow covered this late at night, but my mind dreamed it was a wonderful place in the day. I had grown past missing the day light, but sometimes just even the thought of the way light would filter through the leaves of maple trees left me depressed in the fact that I would never again be able to cherish those simple experiences. "What's wrong?" Grace came in and saw me sitting down, lost in my thoughts. "Nothing Sweeting." I said hoping to mask my deep thoughts. "You were lost in your thoughts. Why haven't you seen the sun in so long?" she asked curious more about the reason she came up with the question than with the actual answer. "Thank you for inviting me here Grace. You have a lovely home." I took her hand again, all night I had been giving her these little tokens of affection. She returned them with a genuine smile, warming my inner being. She blushed again and then laid her head on my shoulder. Then after a moment enjoying the warmth of her curled against me, she tentatively rose from her comfortable spot against my left side and kissed my neck, just shy of the two wounds that were hidden by a lock of hair. 'I was hoping you'd start for me, but I want you tonight.' I heard her thought. I reached over and cupped her face in my hand and looked into her eyes. There was fear, fear of the unknown factors: would I be in her bed when she woke up tomorrow, would she regret this moment of intimacy between the two of us, would I find her disappointing as a lover. "I can't promise you what will happen in the morning Grace." I said to her softly. "It is all right. I know." She put her finger to my lips. "Just show me the way." I felt a lump rise in my throat, her words echoed that of what I had said my very first time. She pressed herself against my body, letting me know how much she wanted me just that very moment. I gave in as my resistance slid away with the growing number of pheromones in the air. Through her clothes, I licked Grace's hardening nipples, finding their hardness teasing. I lifted away her clothes, my fingers rolling against her unexposed skin, driving me to undress her faster. I licked her nipples finding their taste heavenly, something between a sweet strawberry and a crisp apple. I was surprised at the turn her body presented to me only last night was bitter and laced in pain. Tonight, she was primed and begging for dreams she had only heard whispers about in bathrooms. I gently suckled her breast, feeling her squirm under me in arousal. Her hand gently caressed my ribs sliding higher to the back of my neck to push me to kiss her lips, sliding her leg so that I might smell a hint of her arousal. I forced my thoughts to stay with her as I continued to tease the most sensitive parts of her body allowing her limited access to mine. I wanted to ignore the nagging feeling that I wanted to have Grace on a bed, surrounded by a hundred candles as I made love to her. I felt her tongue enter my mouth and her hips grind in desperation. Until now, I had been wrapping my hands securely around her hips, holding her firmly against my own. My hands slipped along her narrow waist and supported her back as I returned her deepening kiss. For a woman who claimed to have so very little experience, I found her attempts to stifle her growing arousal amusing. I hastened my attempts to undress Grace, just to feel her warm skin against my cool one. My fangs extended, longer than I had felt them, digging into my lower lip unless I kept my lips parted. Gently, she caressed my cheek and drew another hand to between her legs allowing me to feel how wet I had caused her to grow just from our brief interlude these past few minutes. I teased her wet center tenderly with the tips of my fingers, wishing for more than just teasing her. She mewed her consent as I continued to tease her massaging her soft folds with my fingers. Finally, after drawing out her desire as long as she could stand, I heard her cry out underneath me. Tears glistened from her eyes, her chest heaved slowly as she tried to clear her mind from the heady fog of orgasm. I leaned over and kissed her forehead. Her heart tattooed for several minutes, her mind open entirely to me, but I waited for her to control her own mind. "You should have told me you were a vampire Angel." She said softly to me, sitting up and pressing her lips to my forehead. I was startled. "How did you find out?" The question was laced with hurt. Curling up here with Grace, knowing she was safe and content was all I wanted. Dawn was fast approaching; she could easily take away my life without a moment's hesitation. The scariest part about love that I never understood until that very moment was that the secret you hold closest to your own heart that no one ever finds out about is the secret you wish your lover or potential lover can never find. And yet, she knows its there for the whole world to see. And only a lover can keep your secret for you. She takes your secret and shields it from everyone else; all the while leaving you blissfully unaware that she knows. She'll do anything to keep your secret, and by direct extension you, safe. It's in her little whisper, her gentle touch, and her smile just for you. A true lover wants all of you. She loves your faults and your strenghts. She wants to hold you whenever you are truely scared even if you never shed a tear. "Your fangs, they dragged against me as I had..." she trailed off embaressed. Though she flushed, she reached up and touched the steely points that showed beneath my upper lip. I looked at her neck. True enough, twin trails of blood across her throat. "I am sorry." I kissed the injury I inflictected, my fangs twiched with anticipation being so close to the thundering pulse beneath the skin. For good measure though, and acting only as only a teaser to my gnawing hunger, I licked her blood from her throat. I felt a lump grow in my throat. It was such innocence and trust that lingered in my mouth. "Why didn't you take it all?" she asked. "Grace, you're too beautiful to leave to from death." I said softly. Again an echo from my past escaped my lips. She stared at me trying to absorb all that just had transpired. Her thoughts were blocked from me, she must have sensed my apprehension She kissed my cheek and whispered, "Can you stay?" she asked. "I don't want to wake up alone." "I won't be able to leave until evening." I said softly. 'I am at your mercy Sweeting.' 'I want to thank you and kept you safe until we can talk tomorrow night.' She kissed me intimately. She led me from the living room into her room, pulling the curtains closed and turning back the sheets, pulling me again to her bed. Living Heart Ch. 03 I slept through the day in the darkened room that Grace had offered me. I slept soundly, not having heard a cry from her all while I slept; she even managed to slip out to her day life without stirring me; I found that touching that she believed I was truly asleep in those precious hours we shared in her bed together. It allowed my thoughts to wander back to my first time. The woman who had made me a vampire had been stunningly beautiful in a satin midnight blue dress. Her brown hair cascaded down her back, unlike the other women her age. I had barely been twenty, and almost depressed over the fact I was about to be married off to the great Lord Fairchild. I would have much rather grown old, alone. Lord Fairchild was a man with a strange idea of what courtship was. Now that I was engaged, he would often try to find me alone so he might grope and kiss me. He would press his body against mine; often I would find him aroused. I thought he was disgusting the way he would take his large floppy lips and press them against my ear and whisper details of the most graphic ways he intended to take my maidenhead. But at the ball that evening three hundred years ago, she stood surrounded by a bevy of fine young men. She claimed widowhood, a feat not unusual, but she was subtle and demure. Men flocked to her and even women could not resist her. Her laughter had been calming. I wished for her freedom. And she even sensed it. She parted the crowd and had selected me to join her. I was free of my chaperone, what threat would there be from such a well-cultured, older woman? "Would you like to find your way through the maze?" she asked me. "I have never been through these gardens." I looked at the darkened topiaries hesitantly. I had heard that the gardens at this particular home were spectacular at any time of the day. I had not been able to wander the maze yet and I had longed to have such a quiet solitary moment. "Just show me the way." I said eagerly. I followed her into the juniper entrance. In the gardens, alone deeply lost, she had kissed me in a way I believed only the Holy Mother could manage. It was tenderness that I had longed for and dreamed about through a variety of silly childish stories spun about love. My breathing became erratic in a manner I had never known. I had only heard the raspy breaths previously from Lord Fairchild. But now, in her arms, she was drawing my sexual want and I was unashamed of that simple fact. Her hands roamed and fondled my body and I responded in kind, suddenly liberated by her touch. Her hands pressed against my body as if cloth did not separate us. And in those heady moments, I felt her fangs pierce my lips drawing my life from me. I snapped from my complacency only long enough to give her access to my neck. "No Pet," she murmured satisfied, the image of my blood cascading down the corners of her mouth still as clear today as it was that night, "You're much too pretty to leave to death." She had secreted me away in an instant and laid me in her own coffin, weak as a newborn child. I lay in the coffin all day, tears streaming down my face until I was too exhausted to cry. She woke me the next evening and kissed me gently. I was still very delicate, but she showed me what I could do now that I had been 'freed' from my confines of life. She removed my clothes and made love to me on a dais above her coffin under an open skylight directly under the full moon. I danced with her, partially out of fear. I had already paid the devil's price for my curiosity. What followed in her touch of arousal surprised me, we were naked bathed in the blue light, tangled in eroticism that I never knew could exist. And when the love making ended, she kissed me and said, "Never, ever let them pierce your heart and stay away from sunlight Pet." Three nights later I was on my own. I no longer existed to anyone I had ever known. Thrown away like a tissue by my first and only lover. I cried for weeks, begging my lover to return to me. If she had heard me, she ignored me. Until now. You are playing with danger Pet. I nearly sat up though it was midday. How did you find me? I asked nervously. Are you that naïve still Pet? I always know where you are. I turned you. We are joined for life. Then how does Grace see into my thoughts? The same way I knew you were going to follow me into the garden. She is just more aware of your thoughts. Your thoughts are too exposed Pet; others will find her and take her from you. You ooze the fact that she is your living heart. You would do better to guard your feelings to protect her. Living heart? There was a bit of a sigh from her as she began to chide me. Pet you should have paid more attention. There are only three ways for a vampire to die: a stake through the heart, exposure to natural sunlight, or a gift of life from their living heart. I shook my head. But a gift of life wouldn't mean I would die. I felt her mouth grow small. Time would steal your beauty, your body will age and eventually Death will come for you. She shrugged. I was about to muse into the depth of the message when I heard her voice again. I want you to be careful Pet. I know you are such a lover that will only want one heart. Protect her. Love her. If she chooses to free you from being a vampire, consider that gift very carefully And then I could not resist the question that had burned in my heart for better part of three hundred years. Why did you leave me? I wasn't destined to be your greatest love Pet. I touched my cheek, as if she had kissed me. She is very beautiful. I envy that she gets to have you. Living Heart Ch. 04 My thoughts swirled around all the information my former lover had left me. I stayed in bed until the sun's last rays had disappeared over the horizon. Grace had not come home. There was a note by the bed. 'I will be home late; I have a few things at work that I need to finish. Yours, Grace.' I was grateful for the lengthened moment of peace. My desire to feed was the foremost thought in my life. Sex with Grace had heightened my need to feed. I was skirting disaster, certain that if I bedded Grace again tonight, I would have her blood coursing through my digestive system. The thought tormented me. I wanted her. Nothing more. My mind was convinced that her blood was what I wanted. No, that was wrong. I wanted her blood. But not in a way I had ever wanted another's blood before. Feeding to me previously had been the same as any other mundane life task. You did it because you needed to do it. With Grace, the desire to feed was lessened, but not the desire to have her. I thought of her on that white silken bed, disrobed with her rosy swollen nipples. Just that image called to me. I wanted my fangs to sink into her creamy skin. Not once, but everywhere she would allow me to. I would satisfy myself with the endless torment of slowly draining her of her blood as I made love to her all night long. Grace heard my thoughts. If it is what you want Angel, you only have to ask. It tore into me. Feeding on her would only satisfy one element. I wanted more of her, but I couldn't ask that. I closed my eyes as if the simple act would block the thought that invaded every ounce of my senses. But you could. The hunger gnawed at me. However, once I tasted of her blood, she would be nothing more and I would once again wander about, as lonely as I had ever been before. Grace was different. I was not wholly convinced of the 'living heart' as my former lover had worded herself, but Grace was not destined to be neither a corpse nor a vampire. I would not wish that on someone who had trusted me and protected me in return. I owed her more than I knew how to repay her. Angel! My head snapped; it wasn't the sob that had echoed the previous day from Grace. My fangs lengthened in anger. She called out for me in fear for her safety. I saw in my mind that Grace had been walking alone through the park only blocks away from her apartment and was now surrounded by a group of shadows. A chide was at the tip of my tongue but that wasn't the most important issue at hand. It was more than flight. I was there in a heartbeat. She was in danger. My fangs grew stabbing my lower lip. I did not care who would see. I was going to protect my living heart. I thrust myself through the curtains and through the window to get to Grace as quickly as I could. I hovered behind one of the stragglers and turned him around before he knew what was about to happen. I left him in a heap on the ground, unaware that I had taken his life without a moment's hesitation. His blood sated my hunger, though it did nothing for my anger that Grace was being threatened. "Come on Miss. We just want what you have." Said one who was advancing on her. He had her pressed against the ground, leaves getting in her hair. He reached to push his jeans down further, rubbing himself lewdly against her unmarred skin. She twisted and tried to fight him, but she lacked the strength. The larger threat on her face was the realization that her fear only seemed to encourage him. I reached him as he pushed Grace again as she struggled and began to reach further down. "She's mine." I growled and took his blood as I stood over Grace. Another tried to fight me. I dodged his advances with his knife, finding away around him and then dug my teeth deep into his neck, drawing his blood for my own needs. The remaining men turned tail and ran. I hesitated a moment to consider the thought to let them run free. Before I returned to Grace who sat by a short, brick wall, I wiped my chin. Blood lust was not something I wanted to frighten her with. Not just yet. She had been scared witless already. I did not want to compound her fears. "Grace are you all right?" I asked from near the trees, hidden in a veil of shadows. I heard her sniffle. "Yes. Thank you. Where did you come from?" I ignored her question and came up behind her to help her up, keeping her back to me. "Are you hurt?" "No." she tried to brush the dust and dirt that had gathered on her skirt, torn white blouse and hair. "Can you make it home without me?" I insisted. I had work to do. I glanced around and wondered if she would ask me about the men who lay dead around us. "Hold me please." She stood shakily, her shoes were lost, and she was wearing pantyhose that might as well have been nothing at all as they had been shredded by one of the men as they advanced on her. "I can't Sweeting. I'll see you tomorrow night. I have something I need to do. I need you to make it home without me." I watched her stumble in a step. "Angel are you hurt? Let me help you." Her crying was getting worse. I sighed and turned my head so she might not see my blood coated fangs. In the fight, the second man clawed at me in frantic desperation for his life had torn my silk shirt. He had even begged me, having seen the fate of the other man. I had said nothing but taken his blood, finally being able to quell my hunger. Another had tried brandishing a knife on me as I speared his shoulder with my fangs. He had sliced my skin, but that would heal shortly. My fangs dripped blood. I did not want Grace to see me like this. I picked her up in my arms and cradled her to me tightly. "I was so frightened Angel. How did you find me so quickly?" she asked kissing my exposed shoulder, her tears burning my pale skin. I hushed her softly, keeping my face from hers. "I'll take you home." "Are they dead?" she asked. I nodded my reply, unsure if I should seek her forgiveness for what I had done. "Angel, I …" she shrieked and I turned just in time to protect Grace as one of the men I had let free charged at us with a broken white picket fence board. The shaft of wood stood straight in my chest. I trembled as I fell to my knees. I found I could not draw a breath. The man stood heroically over me as if he expected Grace to come running over and exclaim proudly, "You saved me!" Instead, with my draining ounces of strength, I lunged at him, slashing at his throat, leaving him to crumple into a pile, his precious life force pooling beneath him. I had never imagined my death would take so long to come and take me away. Now that as I lay gasping for my last struggling breaths Death standing ominously at my feet and Grace rushing towards me, I wanted to leave this world quickly. I did not want to linger with the look of horror on Grace's face. I closed my eyes, perhaps out of fear of the inevitable or perhaps to recall those sweet memories that Grace and I shared. I felt her hot tears and as she gathered me in her arms. "Angel, don't leave me." She pleaded with heavy sobs. I felt her lean close to my ear and whisper. "I gave you my heart." Another sob and then, "I love you." The pain twisted into my broken body right then. I imagined it was penance for the pain I inflicted on those whose lives I took. Grace continued sobbing. "Don't you leave me, not now, not this way Angel." I looked at Death, a shadowy figure cloaked in his robe standing there almost ready to part Grace and I from the lover's perfect world. Grace pulled the pointed shaft of wood out of my chest, leaving me on the ground, coughing and shaking. She stared at the tip streaming with rivers of blood. The night air swirled into the hole in my chest. I kept my eyes closed. The clatter of the fence piece had Grace crying over my body yet again. Her warm tears splashed over the gaping wound in my chest. I love you Grace. I am sorry I cannot stay. I could not get the words to make it to my mouth. Perhaps it was a will of Death to let Grace find someone like myself who wanted her more than life itself. No Pet, you are much too pretty to leave to Death yet still. It was the last time I heard the voice of my first lover. As those last words filtered through my mind, I felt something different. It was if I had forgotten that sensation. Slowly but surely, there was a tightening in my chest, air filled my nostrils and made their way into my lungs. Slowed from the years of dormancy, the muscles contracted in a familiar pattern. The remaining stolen blood converged into the holes of my body, closing the typical vampire fatal wound. "Angel?" she grabbed at my sore shoulder and shook me. "What is happening, Angel, you need to tell me." Grace was nearly shouting. My eyes flew open and I placed my hand on my chest. My heart was beating. Slowly and rhythmically, the beats came until they were steady and regular. Carefully, I sat up and looked at Grace covered in leaves, blood and the tears in her clothes. "Angel? Isn't this supposed to kill vampires?" she eyed the wood lying on the ground between us. "Help me home Sweeting. We have a lot to talk about."