0 comments/ 8508 views/ 3 favorites Lillith Ch. 00 By: AmandaFFMek Prologue The moon was shining sweetly. It did not know my deception. I saw it, but it could not see me. For all good purposes, I suppose I am a vampire and the moon is my ally. I am often invisible to it and humans by my own wishes. Nighttime wanderings are my hobby. I pray on humans, destroying their souls, sometimes taking them as my own. I am what I am. Don't make any judgment of me. I didn't choose this. Being created this way doesn't make it right either I guess, but maybe I could tell you my story. Maybe you would understand. Maybe I will have forgiveness at least from someone. My story is unique. I am not the fairy tale vampire. I just call myself that based on what humans call my kind of being. My memories are eluded to me. I do not know how long I have been around. I can only remember as far as one hundred and eleven years. There are no others like me, I am unique, remember? Or perhaps more accurately I have forgotten them. I know I have forgotten things because I have glimpses of the past. Of me, doing things in other periods and places of the world. Sometimes they are dreams, sometimes they are what you may call flashbacks or blackouts. I am often drained afterwards and feed immediately. They give me glimpses into what happened before I woke up in that desert one hundred and eleven years ago. I usually see brightness and dark shadows. Usually they are fighting each other. Sometimes they are flying and feathers are dropping all around me. The earth is sun scorched and on fire. The oddest and most confusing ones are the ordinary ones. When I am having conversations with humans. They are the oddest because I stay away from humans entirely. I have tried a couple of times to befriend them, because the loneliness gets tiring, but almost always they start to suspect that I am different. Then they cease to acknowledge me at all. These always seem to be in the time before my oldest because the dress is always older. The very first memory I have from the beginning, I woke up and didn't know what I was. I was panicked and terribly hungry. Being buried underneath desert and sand I had to climb and dig my way up and out. The sun was unbearable and I couldn't see anything. I walked for days until I found a human man. I wasn't moving towards him on my own, but the smell was overwhelming. I latched onto him without any thought and drained him. I sucked on him for a while even after he was dry. Then I collapsed there and blacked out again. The sun woke me up and crawled towards some shade. I had to stay out of the sun, so I sat there for three days until another human came across me. I was like a scared child. I sneered at her and growled. So maybe not like a child, perhaps a beaten dog. Yes, that's what it was like. Her smell was not appealing at all. It was rather foul actually. Despite my natural fear I didn't scare her away, I actually became a little interested in her. "Let me help you," she said quietly. This time I growled only softly wanting to know more. "Come on, you are going to die if you don't get some water and food." I was too weak and confused to resist. Much like that first victim, I got up and decided to follow her without much more thought. She took me back to her little mining shack that she shared with her husband. She went in and I did as well. The pretty woman had a dirty look to her and I was hypnotized by her sing-song voice. She led me to a small bed or cot. Then she went over to the corner of the shack and brought out a bowl and cup. I took the food and water she gave me. At first it didn't bother me and the water felt nice going down my throat. Eventually I stopped taking them both from her because I began to get horrible pains. I began to wonder what I was. I looked like her. My physique was similar to hers. When I touched her she was colder than I was. She tried to explain that it was because I was in the desert. Something within myself told me that that was wrong. I was watching her, trying to decide why deep inside myself I felt different. Experience couldn't tell me, I had no memories. Looking back, now, I wasn't infant like, I just couldn't remember why I was there, or what I was. The woman quietly hummed to me and constantly kept a cool towel on my head. Hours felt like they passed. We never said anything to each other but after a while a sad look came over her face. The look was deep and moving. When her husband came home he was dirty and disgusting looking. Oh! But his smell! It was glorious! He sat down and took his boots off carefully. He never said anything to his wife, but she said nothing to him as well. His smell was overwhelming. I wanted to control myself, the restraint I was practicing was pushing me, it was ready to break free. After several minutes I couldn't fight it anymore, I jumped up off of the small cot she had set me on and lunged at him. He wasn't expecting it and put up no fight. For only a second I heard her scream and then the blood entered my mouth. It was the most amazing calming that I still haven't experienced again. Even that first victim didn't make me feel so wonderful. After I was finished draining him I lad on top of him for a few minutes and another longing welled up inside of me. I didn't know what it was so I just sat up and looked at the woman. She didn't even scream now. She just looked at me quizzically. I thought for a minute whether or not to get her as well, but her smell was just as foul as when she first approached me. I was surprised that there was no terror on her face now. "Why aren't you scared?" I asked her. She was silent for a moment, then, "he,....he hit me," she paused again, "thank you." I was confused for a while about why she thank me. It didn't make too much sense. Not until more time went by did I understand it at all, I thought about the images that he had given me when I was taking his blood. She thanked me for releasing her from that man, he treated her cruelly. He had almost killed her himself more than a few times. I didn't say anything to her and just left. I knew I was different from that point on. I did watch her for a while in the shadows at night. Her father came to get her after six months, he helped her pack her belongings and they got into their wagon. As they left I came out of my shadows. She looked back at me and waved a small goodbye. By night I traveled to Los Angeles. The desert didn't give me any reprieve, no human blood, and the dryness cracked my skin monstrously. I fed off the nearest man I could find. He was an innocent, his kind deeds, prayers for others and myself, frightened me. I never took an innocent again. One hundred and eleven years later, here I am. There's a lot of years between then and now, but nothing happened to me. I learned about the humans. Watched them through two wars. They went to the moon that I had befriended over the years. They developed technology. Technology was also my friend. That's how I really learned anything. I snuck into my victims homes when they were away and used their computers and laptops. Played their video games. I especially liked video games. Often, they thought they had a ghost because I would play them until I heard their cars rumble into the driveway or garage. In a hurry I would leap out of the nearest window. They would come in and find their house disheveled and all of their electronics turned on. I found it quite amusing. More reasonable (or less I am not sure) people would call the police. Others would just be creeped out. My latest obsession was this woman. Most women smelled terrible, like the first one I encountered. Her scent was irresistible, it was different. It was most definitely not human. It was better. Her blood that was flowing through her was emanating its own aura, or glow. My extra-sensitive eyes saw it through her skin. Sitting on the rooftop across from her home, I was invisible with the dark. I had already been following her for weeks when I decided that tonight would be the night to taste that glow of hers. She was in her room. The strange pulling I had took me to the window on the second floor. Hovering outside, the sheer curtain made eerie shadows in themselves. I unlocked the window and opened it. Small moans came from her bed. For a second I wondered if she was alone, so I deftly walked over to her bed. She was indeed alone. There was no other scent coming from her either, or anywhere else in the house as well. Unsure of what to do I went back to the window ledge and listened . Her heartbeat was quickening. A lot of blood flow centered to her pelvic region. Curiosity began to overcome my warning signals, slowly I stepped back inside. Still invisible, I crept over to her bed and breathed her in. it was amazing. Never before was a woman so tantalizing. I quickly and easily removed the blanket off of her, a sheet was mangled between her legs and she was pulling on it. Her hips her grinding against the sheet. An urge came to me and I pulled the sheet away without disturbing her too much. She moaned desperately for the sheet to be between her legs again. Her panties were still on her and I pulled them off as well. I wanted the blood that was flowing towards her vagina. I had learned about the reproductive cycles of a human woman and I knew the difference. That blood always was the most disgusting. She was not bleeding in that way, in fact, she was not bleeding at all. I grabbed her ankle and breathed her in again. I saw the glow of the little rivers running through her legs, they were all flowing upwards toward that little opening at the top of them. I wanted to savor the liquid gold so I started by poking my sharp teeth into her ankle and drank a tiny drop. After a few minutes a tiny drop turned into a littlle more and I almost lost myself then. With all of my will I drew myself away. It was almost excruciating to do so, when I pulled away I thought I was going to black out again. I remembered reading about how humans feel on certain drugs they took. I would describe it close to that. I got dizzy and lightheaded. I needed more. Unable to control myself much more, I went straight to that center following the tiny river. I spread her legs open widely so I could see everything. A tiny nub was poking out, barely visible at first. that's where its all headed to! I was excited and too quickly put my mouth to it. She screamed in what sounded close to agony. With the blood in my mouth I began to pull her soul into mine. She was deep asleep and her dreams were of a devil. A devil that gave her pleasure over and over. He inserted his phallus into her every night. It alarmed me a little at first, I didn't know if her life was in danger because eventually her dream became a nightmare for moments when he would beat her. Her screaming was deafening me. I stopped paying attention to what her soul was feeding me and tried hard to concentrate on the actual physical world. My mouth on the tiny nub, or clitoris was pleasing her tremendously. I wasn't trying to kill her tonight. Often I would come back for second or thirds. Never anymore because after a while they would just die anyway after so much blood lost. I reluctantly pulled away. A tiny droplet of blood spilled out of where I put my teeth into her. I brought my finger to it and found I could easily slip my finger inside of her vagina. She whimpered a bit in response. I took it as a yes, please, more. I drove it in and out of her slowly first, I remembered watching a man having sex with a woman before and decided to copy what he did. So I put my face back down and licked the clitoris, no teeth this time, just my tongue. She responded to this as well, her hips bucked up. I looked up at her and saw her small breasts bouncing slightly and thought to copy that man again. I took my finger out of her and reached up to pinch her nipples. They were erect already, but my pinching made them bright pink. I wanted a better position to pleasure her in so I laid next to her. I was amazed to see the glow of veins all over her breast. It lit my face up when I got closer to them. With a tiny flick of my tongue I put my mouth over the nipple and bit it. I wasn't planning on doing it, but the glow and being so close to the smell was hard to resist once again. The woman jumped and moaned again, only louder this time. The ecstasy that her body was receiving flooded my senses and I was lost. Flashes of her other erotic dreams came to me. The demon was driving into her hard and slow, while latching onto her breasts just the same as I was. My hands few down to her cunt, and I shoved my fingers deep inside of her. Her moans were breaking up and her body was jerking uncontrollably. I still didn't want to kill her yet and with all of my will, I once again tore myself away. The stream of blood trickled down her breast to the right and slowly curved the shape of it. Unable to waste it, I licked it. My taste buds were electrified with it. I still wanted more. More than I had ever wanted. I tried to remember what her name was and distract myself from wanting to turn into an animal and rip her entire body apart just to get the very last drop of that glowing sweetness. My hand was caressing her cunt and rubbing it slowly. I watched the blood flow down to her pelvis region again. I was amazed about what was going on. I had never seen anything like that before. The engorged clitoris was calling to me again, and I scooted my way back down silently. She was still sleeping and that was my other amazement. Nevertheless I was becoming unsure whether or not I could resist draining her tonight. I examined her inner regions with my finger while looking at all of the folds, creases and the unfamiliar liquid seeping out of her opening. I lowered my mouth to her nub and pierced it once again. I let the blood flow slowly and she was making soft cries. I couldn't wait any longer, my body was craving her blood. I began to feed her like I never had before. I began to melt into her. The entire soul of hers flooded me. All of her dreams and her memories. Memories of their lives always pleased me the most, more than the blood, more than the scent. I didn't have any of my own, I relished seeing others interact with their families and other human beings. Her being an innocent, had peaceful memories mixed in with sad ones. Her daughter was living in another state, her husband died twelve years ago. Yet she made the most of it and visited her two year old grand-daughter once a month and made many wonderful friends. She stayed away from other men, afraid to get close because she could never love them the way she loved her late husband. Suddenly in the midst of me learning about her I was thrown against the wall with a force only I could have carried through with. Coupled with the blood within me and the slam against the hard wall, I was dizzy and my mind was foggy. I made a grave mistake. I blacked out. LILLITH! The sound boomed all around. I knew not where it came from. Then a spackle of words from an unknown language filled the room. There was something holding me against the wall and was pushing me against the curve of it and the ceiling. There was a strange mix of emotions that I put against the invisible force, there was no creature on earth that could even match my strength that I knew of. It must be another vampire! The sudden realization stunned me. Then I felt something scratching me and kissing me all over my body. I was in agony over my feebleness. There were some small whispers in my ear that couldn't make out still. Then black. Sitting alone in my cave, I contemplated what I had done. I ran away! I ran away from them both. I was alone and the water that surrounded the dry spot I was sitting on echoed . In the darkness I wept. I wept for myself. What have I done? There would be no redemption now. It was impossible. How could He forgive me after I abandoned Him there in that perfect garden? That green grass, the trees and fruit hanging down. They were all ripe and ready to eat at all times. They were calling to me. I couldn't go back now. No turning back. 'Redemption?' My wet face looked around. My nakedness was cold on the hard stone and my palms padded it softly as I put them down. The voice had rang out above my selfish crying. 'You want redemption?' It was Him. I knew it had to be, He came to mock me in my foolishness. There was a quiet mocking laughter. 'No it is not Him,' it laughed again, 'that man said you were beneath him! That man said you are not equal!' 'Who's there?' I yelled out. My loudness startled me. 'Would you like equality? I will give it to you. Lay down Lilitu. You will be equal.' A snake slithered by my legs. I shuttered and didn't even think about lying down. An amusement crossed my mind. 'How will I be equal if I lay down? That is exactly what I left!' I confidently said that to whoever was speaking to me. 'Ahh! You are intelligent. Just like I knew. It was merely a test.' Once again, 'who are you?' I asked out loud. 'I am a friend. To you, to Our Lord.' 'A friend?' 'Yes' 'Then tell me your name, if I should call you a friend?' 'A name is unimportant at this time.' Then silence as the snake started winding around my legs. I felt calmed and soothed. The few sobs I had left ceased completely. Screaming. Loud screaming and severe anguish. Pain flooded my head. I didn't know where I was. There was screaming and more anguish. Blood was everywhere. Then that horrible silence that was not comforting in the least. The snake! In a panic, I flew across the room. Where was it? There was no snake wrapped around my legs What the fuck is going on?! I was so disoriented that I thought my eyes were open and when I finally figured it out, I opened them and became shocked by what I saw. There was blood everywhere. Almost as if it had rained blood inside of the house. The woman was dead. She was in fact torn apart and scattered across the room. It was gory even for me. I didn't know what to do. I broke down and started sobbing. Did I do this? Am I really the monster if have always run away from? I was practically howling, my tears were dropping into my palms and making small puddles inside of them. 'Lillith! Leave now, you did not do this.' The voice was a song in my ears. It sang beautifully, unlike anything I had ever heard. Lillith Ch. 01 I was freaking out. Or so that's what the humans would call it. It was hours before the night was over but I was mentally exhausted. There was something I need to do first. I needed to go to the church I always visited after I took a victim. My strange visits there always soothed me afterwards. What was I supposed to do? I had to feed off of blood. That's how I lived. I tried to go without it once. It was absolutely unbarable. I had been curious about human guilt. The man that I never got out of my head was what humans call a drug dealer. They always make them out to be one of the most evil forces on the planet. I never understood it. This man went beyond drugs, he had done things in the past. Before he came to his current residence. Every time the investigators came to talk with him, he proclaimed his innocence, which his actions proved that he obviously was not. There were always people coming in and out of the house. Even when he knew the investigators were outside watching him from a dark van. It really didn't make any sense logically. It seemed as if he was asking to be picked up by them. The night his home was invaded by many of the investigators (or police, he called them himself), I killed him. His mind was always foggy with ideas that dreamed of killing a mass amount of people. Knowing something of killing people, I thought I would like to know what his version of this was. His started with his own family. Sometimes he would think about slitting their throats when they are sleeping. No, that's too simple. He would say. He thought about torturing them first. Rape the girl-mother, over and over again. Poison the bratty six-year-old. Replace the bubble bath with battery acid for the four-year-old. Since the baby was always crying for expensive formula, it could starve to death. Drag it on for months. Watch them slowly die. Watch them as they suffer, become pale and lethargic. Their bloodshot eyes would make him happy. Their pleas for a release. They would promise not to go to the police. He wouldn't have cared either way. That evening I was observing him. The police started to sneak around the house, and a couple of them went to the front door. He looked out the window and saw them on the crumbling steps. The two men on the steps seemed to be ready for anything. I was intrigued by the events happening. I watched even closer. The man didn't open the door for them. I went inside the house, invisible. The man was overly excited and started gathering everybody into a small closet. The baby was screaming and the other children were crying. The young girl was silent. Her mind said he's going to kill us here. Her resolve in the moment was profound. She was so calm. He purposely abused them on a daily basis, it was as if she knew it was going to happen eventually and she just gave up. I tried to reach out to her, to tell her everything was going to be ok. Her head was closed completely, there was no way in. I didn't want these young people to die. They were good. They were in their hearts, innocent. He was getting certain items together and was mumbling something about what he was going to do. When they run the house everyone is going to die together. me, the police, and that stupid girl and her pathetic children. Bomb, bomb, bomb. The audible laughing was the only coherent voice coming from him now. Suddenly the only thing I wanted to do was to make him suffer as he made them all suffer. I wanted him to die, like he wanted them to die. This time it had nothing to do with a blood hunger. He wasn't even worth it. I grabbed the man around the neck. His name was John. Bloodshot eyes stared back at me in confusion, his arms flailed and searched for the unseen force that was holding him five inches from the ten feet high ceilings. I swung him around and slammed him into the ceiling, making the frail plaster to fall on top of him and onto the floor. He attempted to scream and I wrapped my other hand around his throat, only allowing him to choke on his voice. The contempt on his face was frightening. Wanting him to see what suffering is I let my invisibility down. I was whole to him, a red-haired skinny woman with red pupils and blue irises. The sudden paleness of his skin was still darker than mine, the contempt was completely gone. I was determined to truly be the monster he envisioned of himself within his dark thoughts. Smiling at him, it revealed two large sharp canine teeth. Vampire? He asked. I lowered him to the floor and climbed on top of him. There wasn't much time. The police were getting ready to come into the house. The mother and children were locked in the closet. Looking down at him, he was silent. "How would you like to die?" I put to him the question for amusement purposes only. There was no answer. Making hissing sounds that came from my chest, he comprehended that I really spoke. He thought he imagined it. "Are...you," he began with a raspy voice, " you, a...a.....a..Vampire?" "If that is what you would like to call me, go ahead," I paused, "NOW!" I yelled in my loudest whisper right next to his left ear. I shattered it with the high pitch. "Answer me, how would you like to die?!" He screamed when his eardrum disintegrated. His body was telling him to grab the ear, my right hand holding both of his with a strength that was immeasurable wouldn't allow it. I bent down and kissed his forehead. He was still screaming in pain, soft kisses went down the side of his face and I licked the salty tears streaming down it. I straddled him and made sure the part of me that men find the most worthy was rubbing against his pants. The hardening was beginning. What humans call adrenaline was rushing through me and I could smell the blood. Wanting to make everything last as long as possible, that familiar headiness that I love was taking over and I let it go. I wanted to rape him. It was impossible to do so in the current situation and time constraints. So I took my hand off his knowing he wasn't going to be able to throw me off of him and cut his throat with my razor sharp fingernails. The blood rushed out immediately and began to pool on the floor around his neck and head. The scent of it was overwhelming and I almost lost control. I dipped my finger into the blood and held it over him. It dripped onto his eyelids, cheek and mouth. "You wanted a taste of blood? Well here it is." John still had pain in his ear but his arousal and the blood dripping onto him distracted him. He opened his mouth and licked his lips. "You are going to make me like you aren't you?" his voice was so soft, he was weakening. Laughing softly I knelt down to him, "Silly, I am not one of your human fairytales. I am the real thing. I am demon, I am evil, I will kill you." John's expression changed immediately as he finally realized his fate. Just as quickly as I attacked him, I put my mouth to the gash on his throat and drained him. His final thoughts were of forgiveness. Forgiveness by God, asking Him to be forgiven, praying that he would not go to hell. The police and his family found him on the floor dead. He was alone. He suffered greatly. That is what was on the mind of everybody looking down at him. I let him off easy. He deserved much more. The other thoughts and actions that went through his mind when he was dying and praying to God to save him depicted several other rapes and murders, people of all ages, from the newborn to the elderly. Disgusts seems funny to describe a being like me to have, but, it was true. I was purely disgusted with him. I was a killer myself, but I didn't kill the innocent. I went after men who were evil in their hearts and minds. Each time I killed one of them, they always revealed their deeds done in the past. This one reviled me more than the rest because he asked for God. Who is God? Why was he asking him for forgiveness?? Something within me told me that he would not be forgiven. The drug dealer personality was a fake. He was a psychopath. All along the plan was to kill. He seduced the girl-mother into loving him. He tricked her to get pregnant. He began selling all types of drugs. All to lure the police, all to kill the innocent and vulnerable. At that point, he didn't care if he was going to get caught, the FBI was already onto him from his actions in another state. He just wanted a tiny piece of revenge before he got put away for good to his death. So much for revenge. I wanted scream. The blood was not satisfying this time. The word God. I heard it, and now it was driving me crazy. I just left the house and started walking down the street. The flashing red, blue and white lights were fading behind me. All of the neighbors were standing outside wondering what had happened. I was lost. Lost to myself, I just walked. Walked as slow as humans walk. My heart was beating excitedly . I felt like screaming. The restraint I had prevented me from doing so, it would shatter their eardrums in a five mile radius. Eventually my slow pace halted me and I just collapsed. I blacked out and when I awoke, there was a lady standing above me. "are you okay miss?" her voice was sweet, childlike and comforting. "hmm. You need to leave." the hardness in mine, made us both jump. "No, you need help, let me call 911. Wait," she paused and looked around. "I don't need any help." It didn't even register to me that I was speaking to her. I only spoke to my victims when I was killing them. "Well, you do need help, but I saw you come from that window of the house, so you probably don't want any." Her soft voice was whispering to me. I reached into her mind and found the memory of me climbing. Stupid! If she saw me, then how many others saw me? It wasn't like I was afraid of them, I was more worried about them being afraid of me. I was a monster, they were my food. "You saw me leave the house?" I asked her. "Yes, I did. Then I followed you. I saw you collapse. I didn't know if you were dangerous so I waited." "I am dangerous, leave me NOW!" I shouted at her a little to hard and she covered her ears in pain. She fell to the ground next to me, with her hands still wrapped around her head. Her eyes were shut. She didn't say anything to me, absolutely silent. She wasn't leaving so I wanted to ask her a question. "Who is God?" "God? What? I can barely hear you, I think you broke my eardrums." she was yelling now because her hearing was terrible. It was pointless to try and talk to her. I decided to speak to her inside of her mind. Who is God? I tried once more to ask her. My curiosity to know who than man was asking and begging for reached further than my wanting to keep my own secrets. What do you mean who is God? I was a little startled when she answered me without speaking. How are you answering me? How are you speaking to me? Her question to me was awfully puzzling. For a second I realized how often I am confused about the humans. When one knows how long I had been around, you would think I knew more of them. My mind slipped into unfocused thoughts. "No calling 911 then? Are you alright?" the sound of her voice brought me back. "No." I just fed, yet I felt unusually weak and lightheaded. I pushed myself up and tried to stand. My legs were a little shaky but I found my footing. I was towering over the woman. After a few moments I found my strength returning to me. "You aren't alright then? I will help you home if you would like me to." "I am fine. I have already asked you to leave me alone. I don't need any help. You need more help than I do." I was chuckling to myself thinking about how easily this woman could die by my hands. "Why did you follow me? If you think I am dangerous, it's silly for you to do so." I questioned her. "You came out of that window. I wanted to know more of what had happened. Do you know?" "I know everything that happened there." "Please tell me." She was quite innocent looking, her light brown hair and gray eyes were a strange contrast to my wild red hair and blue eyes. "I cannot do that. The police are aware of what happened now, well almost anyway, go ask them." "They wont tell me anything. Please." "Neither will I. Now go away." She stood up now, I was at least a foot taller than her. I started to walk away, but did not disappear. I didn't want her to get any more information about me than she already had. She would become suspicious of me if I quickly went away, no matter how badly I wished to get away from her as quickly as possible. "Wait, you seem pretty interesting, talk to me please." she was repeating herself and pleading. Humans were so annoying sometimes. "What do you want? You are missing the obvious here. I came out of that window, I had something to do with it perhaps, or perhaps I was the end of it. Yet, you are here following me, and you are not scared of me and calling the police to me, to be arrested. What is wrong with you?" She was silent and was still following behind me. I wasn't sure if I reached her sanity or not. "I'll tell you about God if you tell me about what happened." I stopped and she ran into me. I wanted to know about this person that John had been calling for. If I told her anything about what had happened she would quickly realize what I was. I wanted to shoot myself for being so stupid in the first place. It was this God person who distracted me from leaving the house undetected. "That's the deal then?" "Yes." "No." I could figure this out on my own. I learned everything else out about the world on my own. Learned how to speak, learned to dress myself to blend in when I wanted to. Even learned how to drive a car, though I had no need for it. I could figure out who God was. I heard her sigh deeply as if she gave up. She still didn't make any sense to me. I told her I was dangerous. She just must not have cared. "I will give you my work number and you can call me if you find that you need my assistance ok? I work at The Dispatch as a journalist. I am trying to get a big story so I can get my editor off my ass." How cliché. I laughed out loud. "What's so funny?" she asked me. "This is like a clichéd movie. I'm the bad guy and you are the fearless journalist." "Yeah that's true. But, who else would be chasing you down a dark street when you came out of a crime scene window? I guess I am just desperate. Too desperate to even care what happens to me anymore." she did sound desperate. A yearning in me wanted to help her, but the monster wanted to get away from the foul smell that was now seeping into my nostrils. "What's your name?" "Susan,I never gave my name to a human. Not even for fun. Sometimes they would ask my name and I would always just laugh in their ears and kill them. Humans always wanted to know names. I didn't really care. I just wanted to torture the evil. My silence was the answer she received. "Will you take my number and call me? I will be patient, at least a little. You can call me when you are ready. Please." her pleading almost made me care a little. But it didn't make me care enough. I began thinking of ways to get rid of her. I didn't want to leave her with anymore hints of who I was. Maybe I could turn this corner really quick and lose her, maybe I could just start running at normal human speed maybe... "Fine, I will leave now, I work at the newspaper, its in the phone book, ask for me. Its Susan Noyes." With that she turned yours?" and walked in the other direction. I was relieved to say the least. Quickly I leapt into the air and onto the rooftop. I saw her turn to look back at me. She was puzzled but she continued on in her direction. I just kept thinking about that man. I just wanted to know who it was that he was reaching out to in his last moment. Why waste your last thought asking for forgiveness when all that you had done in your life was take and ruin lives? The moonlight followed me from rooftop to rooftop. I came to a great gabled building. It had that funny thing humans call a cross on top of it. I often marveled and stared at it. I was mesmerized by it. It was my nightly routine to come and sit next to it. I just sat under the cross and the moon and tried to remember my past, I knew I lived before that day when I woke up in the desert. I didn't need my dreams to tell me so, I felt it somewhere deep inside of me. Loneliness crept over me and I wished a little that I would have talked to that journalists more. I was all alone. There weren't any others like me. I traveled the world looking for them. If they are there, they hide themselves well. Closing my eyes I slipped into an unconscious sleep. A disfigured hand was grabbing for me and I didn't pull away from it. The hand had dark color, the arm that extended it was also disfigured and red colored. The body it came from was emanating a low growl. I couldn't see its face. Its touch was burning hot and I fell into an embrace that I hoped was sweet and comforting. Instead I was thrown on my back and a long, even hotter tongue licked me on my face. I could feel the claws of it's hands digging into arms. Suddenly I felt a sensation I had never known before. I was being filled with a scalding object. A wave of pleasure rushed over me and my body lifted up and I screamed. "Lilith, you want true freedom?" I was too weak to answer. "I will give you the freedom you want from Him. I will make you powerful, I will give you domain over many." I was feeling more pleasure. The claws digging into me only heightened this more. I could hear water lapping against something and fish flopping out of the water. "Hmm." was all I could say. "Is that a yes?" another wave of deep pleasure overcame me as my hearing clouded. I could feel the rocking motion of the figure speaking to me. "YES!" just then I screamed and without deciding I gave into anything it wanted from me. I woke with a start. The sun was beginning to show. I had another one of the dreams. The ones that I felt were connected to my past. They never made any sense. I used to become frustrated with them. Now I just don't care as much. They are just dreams. The sunrise was coming quickly. I enjoyed watching it from my little perch. It slowly rose over the edge of the planet, the clouds in front of it looked like they were being filled in by the light. The deep oranges and yellows always captivated me, I could feel heat beating down on me. I wondered if humans felt that heat as the sun rose. I wondered if there was anything that they didn't take for granted. I sat there distracted for a while. I barely noticed what I had been thinking about until I was pulled back to the present by the sound of voices. Nighttime was my favorite but there was something nice about the day. The heat always energized me, filled me with a sensation that I thought offhandedly was much like my dream I had just had. I turned my head around the cross to see where the voices were coming from. Although I had often sat there and dreamed, I had never stayed there all night long until day time. There were people walking into the building. They were dressed formally, their thoughts were about how they will be glad when it was over. I decided that invisibility would be the best for the moment. It wouldn't be a good idea for them to see me hanging over a roof, barely falling off. They would panic and call those damned police. Reaching to the flag pole just below me on the tip of the roof where it meets the wall, I swung to the ground. I let myself drop to the ground and ended up in the middle of the few people walking in. The only thing they noticed was a breeze that swooshed around them. I was mesmerized as I walked with the small group inside the little building. It wasn't grand or fancy, rather simple. Just a hallway of carpeted flooring and white walls. There were some decorative paintings on the wall and a bulletin board with many little pieces of paper attached to it. A musty, yet fresh smell came to me. Then a lady wearing too much perfume and powdered makeup walked by and totally covered that up. Although overpowering it made me calm and I decided to follow her. She stopped to talk to a man wearing a brown jacket, khaki pants and a blue shirt and tie. They were speaking softly so others couldn't hear them and she sounded upset. A tear trickled out of the corner of her eye and I felt compelled to wipe it away. She shivered slightly as my touch went across her cheek and her hand immediately flew up to her face to clutch her cheek. Lillith Ch. 01 "Oh, pastor, I know I just felt something on my cheek," she said exasperated. "We just turned on the air conditioning today, it feels a little chilly, come dear, let me take you to your seat." he grabbed her by the shoulder and led her through glass and wooden doors to a row of wooden benches. She sat down with a confused and blank look on her face. "Etta, you will be just fine. Today we will pray for your sister and ask the lord to look after her and look after you," he was kneeling at her level and was now holding her hand. She didn't say anything just nodded her head. He got up and walked to the front of the room. There were several rows of these wooden benches. I have snuck into several buildings that humans came to. Just to find out what was inside of them. They were usually more decorative than this. It was rather plain and there wasn't much to it. The peace was emanating from every corner though. Some people's thoughts were wishing that they didn't want to sit there and hoping that they will be able to doze without notice. Some were praising God. There. There it was again. That name! I listened to their praise. They said over and over I love you Lord. That is what all of them kept saying in strange unison. When the man got to the front of the room he stood silently at first, waiting for everyone to finish taking their seats. Children were misbehaving in the corner and their mothers were trying to get them to calm down and take their seats as well. He waited patiently as they all finally settled down and looked towards him. "Today marks a new day as does everyday. Today is a new day. Many of us have guilt. Many of us have this guilt because we cannot forgive ourselves. We do not need to question whether or not God can forgive us. We already know that he will. So, how do we forgive ourselves? How to move forward with God's grace, Jesus' love and the human spirit? " He paused and looked down at the podium and opened his book that was lying on top of it. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." He said these words and looked around the room very smug. He seemed to be smug about what he read, not for himself. "Can you believe that? He will forgive you. He will cleanse us. So why keep the guilt? Why let it burn in our souls? Because we are imperfect, we do not fully trust in Him. We do not listen to what Jesus Christ told all of us when he walked the earth. Think about it. Do we live meagerly, are we kind to each other? I am asking you many questions, I know. I want you to think about these questions when you leave here. The world has been at many crossroads in the past. But something strange is happening all around us everyday. We need to forgive ourselves. How is He supposed to forgive us when we cannot even do so. The world needs to be forgiven badly. There are many wrongs going on, we are constantly angry with people thousands of miles away. We are angry at our next door neighbors for their loud music six months ago. We are angry at ourselves for yelling at our children a little too loud yesterday. There is non forgiveness all around us. Let it go. Just forget about it. Then what? You will be free. You will be free of your own anger, you will be free of your own guilt. Does that mean you did not learn? Does that mean that it will be repeated? Absolutely NOT! You have faith in the Lord to guide you in the right direction. You have faith in the Lord that he will cleanse you of that sin. So never, ever be afraid to forgive yourself or others. You cannot move forward with your happy life unless you do both." He was full of pride for his words. I attempted to read his thoughts but it was closed tight. I wanted to speak to him. I wanted to have many thoughtful conversations. Spellbound I walked towards him. He was speaking more, speaking about the book he had in his hand. I heard none of it. I could only see him, everything else around him was blackening and a tingling started filing up my arms and legs. I knew I was going to pass out again. I welcomed it this time and let it take me over.