6 comments/ 14789 views/ 9 favorites Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 01 By: goldendragan CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, fantasy fulfilling sex romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. If you are insulted by any of the above feel free to not read the story. To all others: Have fun! 1 Like much in my life, my excitement was inspired by the non physical, in other words despite the fascination my life had for me; for most people I would be classified as a looser. What can I say, it wasn't really my fault, it was intrinsic in me. From an early age instead of playing doctor with the local twerps, pardon my French, I preferred spending time with my heroes. The fact that most of them where already dead did not deter my passion. Shakespeare, Marlow, Chaucer, Dante and other very dead people stared in my book of the Very Ultimately Cool. In fact the closest I came to modern, where the only partially decomposed, such as Fred Astaire. In fact Astaire was probably at the top of my drool category and stared in many of my fantasies. No I am not blind or even deranged, just shall we say, a little eccentric for the under 25 category. On this night, much like any other, this lead to my bodily distribution encompassing a sprawled torso over my desk during prime time (10' on a Friday night), my hair a mess, my clothing definitely relegated to Cinderella floor cleaning, chewing on a raged looking pencil while perusing, with a dastardly grin on my face, the intricate complexities of medieval manuscript illumination. What can I say, I was feeling more illuminated by the minute, despite my blind disregard of my less than attractive getup. My only defense was the fact that I was alone and not expecting company, so I dressed for my expectations, and was mildly put out when life failed to perform to my defined standard. Any fashion, boy and sex fan would have proclaimed that any girl in any situation should always be ready for the unexpected appearance of a delicious male. Having been endowed with a down to earth attitude, a disbelief in any kind of miraculous event, a strong belief in the powers of Photoshop and a disdain for luck; I was unprepared for anything other than my own, obviously fascinating, company. I still think I had the right of it, I lived on the fifth floor, had a severely padlocked door and no balconies or other romantic implements attached to the exterior of my rather shabby building. Unsurprisingly I was rather surprised when a loud sharp thud proclaimed the arrival of an unscheduled delivery on my bedroom floor. It took me a rather long time to react, about 30 seconds, before I scrambled up and turned. Irritation being my first reaction, at the audacity of whatever calamity wished to intrude on my study time, I was not prepared for any sane reaction to the bloody pulp that now occupied my carpeted floor. My first thought was "Holy fuck! How am I going to get the stain out of that!" Then I looked at the now motionless form on my floor. He was rather big, in fact huge, very bloody, with his enormous black wings hanging limply in naked profusion. Somebody or something had torn out huge chunks of feather and flesh from them and the remaining fluff was stained with his blood. His clothes were ragged and torn, slashes running down from neck to waist, marking his body in blood and gore. So I did the only thing possible in such a situation. I ran to the window, reached through the broken pane and closed the shutters. Whatever had done such to him would not, I deduced, be a polite visitor. Privacy and safety now secured, I did the other important thing, I walked up to the body and slapped him full in the face. "Wake up Romeo. WAKE UP!" 2 Five minutes of an eternity latter, I had Mr. Mess rearranged on my bathroom floor. I wasn't sure how I managed it. I mean, I sort of slapped him into semi-consciousness and between us we managed to drag, scrap and limp along from one floor to the other. Only now I too was covered in blood, he was completely zonked and the smell of all that blood was definitely making me feel queasy. "Why the fuck couldn't you choose a doctor's apartment, huh? What the fuck am I going to do with you now... Come on Alice, come on," I slapped myself hard, didn't clear the fog completely but it helped. "First Aid, First Aid," I dived into the bathroom cabinet and dragged ancient supplies of varying kinds from dark and dusty corners, all the while chanting little bits of advice to myself "Stop the blood, stop the blood, come on Alice bleeding like that is not good... How the fuck am I going to bandage his wings? A genie veterinarian would be so useful round about now... Ok, ok, antiseptic antiseptic antiseptic .... AH! Antiseptic...mumble mumble mumble." It took forever to bath the blood off of him and then I found that the wings were not my biggest problem. His wounds were so deep that even I could see he needed stitches. At this point, my sleeves rolled up to the elbows, a bloody sponge in one hand, blood from my nose down my elbows to my t-shirt, I considered calling the cops, taking him to a hospital or phoning a doctor. Then I got my emergency sewing kit. After all, who takes a huge bird man to the local authorities? Well, someone braver and more foolhardy than me. I figured that burying him under the floorboards would be easier than explaining to, whichever authority the X-files were under, that I did not have my own pair of wings stashed in the attic. It took me three hours to stitch him up, I used silk thread which I bathed in alcohol, hopping against hope that I was not going to kill off my first mythical creature. This was not how children's stories went, the heroine did not meet the lion and badly bandage him to death, that's what the bad guys did. Plus I had a severe shortage of floor boards as my floor was all thinly carpeted concrete. Having served my Florence Nightingale time, I then faced another tremendous hiccup. I couldn't leave a critically damaged and rather bent bird on a cold floor. He was bound to get the flue, well a deathly variant of it or whatever, and besides I needed a shower. So I tried slapping him again. Then I tried shouting. Then I did both of them together. I think I managed to bruise his face a bit, but other than that, sleeping beauty slept on, or maybe he was just comatose. In the end I wound up dragging my three fluffies, yes it was that kind of flat, all my blankets and sheets to the bathroom, where by stint of pushing shoving and rolling I managed to surround him in bedding. Then my adrenaline not yet spent, I dragged myself into the kitchen were I made in rapid succession five hot water bottles, yes it was that kind of flat, which I buried in the mound that occupied my bathroom. I made copious quantities of instant packet soup which I poured into two thermos flasks, put them with a straw and spoon on the toilet and proceeded to have a shower. Trust me, if you had been as covered in blood as me, you would have showered too. Besides I had argued while stripping that "Well, it will heat the room up right? And besides" I prodded the shapeless lump "you're not exactly in any shape to notice the view huh?" And no, I did not get him wet, my shower was one of those so-narrow-and-small-you-suffocate-from-the-steam-boxes that grace flats with the word 'practical' in the add. Then being tired annoyed and of the unromantic practical sort, I slept in the fluffies with the lump in the bathroom. 3 That night was an eventful one. At my most deeply asleep moments Mr. Feathered Lump would twist and turn and shiver. In these instances quick interpretation was essential. At some points it meant he was having a nightmare in which case I slapped him, at other times he was too hot so I had to uncover him and sponge him down till he got too cold again; or else he would be semi-conscious and dying (probably literarily) for a drink, so I would spoon some of the then partially warm soup down him. It made me wonder in those aggravating moments, how anybody would ever consent to becoming a nurse, doctor or mother. The sick and helpless encouraged in me a natural tendency to be selfish and let them rot. The winged egit being an exception, as I couldn't shove him out of my apartment, he was too heavy. The day following the first night went in much the same fashion. Being dead tired I tried to get some sleep, which again was interrupted by my now mumbling with fever patient, so I spent most of the time nursing a man-bird so large I wondered how his heart could pump the quantity of blood he must require. By the second night, the patient showed signs of recovery, he mumbled in sentences for one and he sweated less while consuming vast quantities of soup. I on the other hand, did not fare quite so well. My back was killing me, from bending over and shifting the bird's vast lump of a body, my eyes had reached the stage where obviously the Sahara desert was rooming with them and I suspected I was about to develop arthritis in all my sore extremities. To be quite clear, I was tired, hungry, uncomfortable and pissed off. Indeed I was in the process of proclaiming to the world that "Fuck it! If I have to see and clean the underneath of another gory bandage I will off you myself, chop you up and have bird soup!" when he must have taken my word for it, for my previously restless bird dropped off into a quiet peaceful sleep. Always having prided myself on being sensible I did the only sensible thing. I panicked. I thought he must be dying, so I prodded and poked him, all while whispering a constant flow of prayers "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck..." After all, I rationalized latter, my panic was the natural reaction of one not wishing all that effort to go to waste. Night number three saw me slumbering in a sitting position with my upper half sprawled on top of my patient. We both slept more easily, I because his wounds seemed to be healing miraculously fast and he, I supposed, for the same reason. I had tentatively hoped that that night would not see me awake till dawn but once more I was to be disappointed, for while it was still pitch black I was forced awake by my apparent suffocation. After I had fought my way free of layer upon layer of bedding, I found my feathered man completely uncovered, it appeared that he had tossed all his covers on top of me hence the suffocation. Bleary eyed and foggy I scrambled over the mountainous pile to reach him and take his temperature. As I had expected his body was overly warm, but it was not sweating. Instead it exuded a dry comfy heat that made me curl up at his side with one arm over his chest and drift off back to sleep. 4 This time instead of black enveloping my world I dreamed a dream. To my knowledge I had never had such a dream before, so I was rather taken aback but in a good way, for I dreamed of large soothing hands running heavily down my back, unraveling the tension in my stressed and knotted muscles. The motion never changed pace but it did shift from merely smoothing, to rubbing and at times kneading. Those large hands made me shift and murmur in encouragement as I gently arched myself into them. I made a blurry mental note to have this dream more often. It was sublime. As each caress took place I felt the heat of those hands send little electric shivers down my spine, penetrating down my ass, to pool in the heat of my sex. I could feel my cheeks flush and my pulse start to pound as I moaned biting my lip gently. I knew where I wanted those hands, and it was not on my back. As the fingers traveled back up, making my skin shiver in delight and bringing new and lustful moans to my lips, my hips started to rock, tilting my ass further into the air. The flesh of my rounded globes was aching, aching for those large powerful hands to travel further down my spine to grab fistfuls of my ass. But my need remained unfulfilled as his touch encircled my shoulder blades in hot stimulating strokes. My pulse pounded, my lips parted on a lustful gasp and my hips started to rotate in short, abrupt, needy circles. My centre throbbed, my flesh quivered, I could feel the wet heat of me start to seep down my thighs wetting my hot flesh. Finally I could stand no more of that sweet caress, I tossed my head back arching my body, my breasts straining proudly into the air with my hard tingling nipples tenting my shirt, my cunt grinding down into the flesh of his belly. My fingers dug into his strong chest as my body wiggled and strained in silent demand for his hands on my quivering, shivering, ass cheeks. My brain fogged over as I felt his light tingling touch down the centre of my back, his hands spreading wide before grasping my buttocks strongly. My eyes flew open as I cried out my lust, taking in his impossibly broad chest and shoulders, a thick powerful neck and a face so beautiful it made my cunt squeeze and throb. I wanted to touch that face, caress his dark beautiful wings as his hands pressed hard into my flesh driving my hips to grind harder against him. I cried out, this time in protest, as my brain took in what my eyes were telling me. My bird, no my fallen angel, his eyes closed, his head tilted back and his body straining towards mine was making me cream; my little pussy spasaming in need against him. My fingers clutched him tighter as I tried to rain in my rampant lust; but despite my mind's protests my body's desire whispered to me, clouding my mind. All I wanted was to lick the beads of sweat from his throat, nibble on his chin, suck on one of those oh so shapely lips, dip my tongue into his mouth and taste of him. My mind reeling from the images running rampant before my eyes, my head tilted back as I tried to find the will power to stop. He was wounded, I was reaping the benefits of that, it wasn't right, but oh God did it feel good. Then all I could do was cry out in ecstasy as I felt his hands dig into my pajama bottoms, part my ass and sweetly nudge the rosebud between. My whole body jerked and I fell forward, my mouth honing in on the sweetness of his neck, sucking on his succulent skin; marking him as mine. My hardened nipples dug into his hard chest sending tingles down to pool in my already drenched core as my ass danced under his palms trying to get his fingers to play more firmly with my bud. My mouth traveled down, licking, sucking, and nibbling on every available inch of sweet flesh; my own body going crazy with lust as his fingers started a policy of double penetration that had me almost screaming. His two digits thrusting in me, one deep in my ass, the other in my hungry puss, had me delirious with pleasure, my body starting to spasm in anticipation of a climax as his fingers thrust their way into the very heart of me. Rubbing on either side of me, making my flesh quiver and tingle and throb, till I was unaware of anything except him in my deepest heat. When his fingers abandoned me at the very cusp I screamed in denial, whimpered in need, wanting desperately to be filled to the brim with him. I barely felt it as the cloth was ripped from my body, only shuddering in reaction to the tip of his cock as it flirted with my tender slit. I whimpered and begged and clawed at him, trying to get his cock to plunge into my depths and bring me to the ecstasy that was only just beyond my reach. My body was aching and trembling in need for him, my juices now flowing directly onto his engorged head, my throbbing clit making contact with each caressing stroke he made through my folds. He was so hot and big I thought I would go out of my mind, and I did, when he plunged into me in one hard, mind blowing thrust; cleaving his way into my tight little virgin cunt, triggering an orgasm that merely fed on the pain of my hymen tearing over his throbbing shaft. His hands and body were relentless as they pushed and pulled me onto his cock, pounding into me in deep, hard thrusts that had me cumming every few heat filled minutes. I cried and screamed and begged for him to go faster, thrust harder, to bury himself deep, to cum and spurt his seed deep into my belly. I stroked his face with my hands, and kissed his chest with my lips as I squeezed and rippled on his cock; and as another orgasm hit me hard, sending my mind reeling, I felt him tense and thrust one final time before erupting. It was glorious, and in the contented aftermath of my first and most wondrous fucking, I thanked the Gods and providence that had made him crash in through my window. I nuzzled his neck and reached up to kiss his earlobe and felt his lips kiss the side of my head tenderly as he sighed "Ohhhhhhh, Rosalia... my love." 5 Needless to say I was still fuming somewhat half an hour latter, as I sat on the farthest side of my small bathroom, cursing him uphill and down dale for meaning the fucking of my life for somebody else. I tried to tell myself that it was alright, that I felt nothing for him and that as he had not woken up even during climax, that he would recall nothing of it. If he did, he would think it only a dream of her, Rosalia. I snarled, my lip curling. I could kill the little bird brain, how dare he screw me witless, believing me to be another woman! I tried to fume in dignity, but my eyes kept straying to his now contented and peaceful face, half of me proud I had pleasured him; the other half wanting to stab him several thousand times over. It was a confusing and frustrating night, but most of all it was sleepless, so yet again when dawn came around I was shattered; which did not lighten my already violent mood. That day I left my visitor alone as I went out, mumbling things to cheer myself up such as: "I hope you die while I'm out, you undiscerning bastard!" and "Bastard! Fucking bastard, fuck, fuck, fuck, mumble, mumble, mutter, curse." Ect. It did not lighten my mood and when I came back with groceries to feed an army, all frozen, pre-cooked or zap-able, I was feeling even less charitable than I had before. For it had occurred to me, oh the horrors of a logical mind, that the whole incident was technically not his fault, if anyone was to blame...well, that person was me. It is perhaps unsurprising then that when I was greeted with an awake, active and clothed guest who smiled softly, offered his hand and said "Hello, pleased to make your acquaintance, I'm Ray." What I did was scowl ferociously, stomp into my kitchen and slam the groceries down onto the table. "You're better?" I asked, as I thrust my groceries away, wishing death, the plague, anything really, to come and deliver me from tall gorgeous winged men who liked women other than me. "Yes, thanks to you. May I know you're name?" I tried not to notice how deep and husky his voice was, or how incredibly appealing he looked with that unsure expression on his face, or how beautiful his eyes were. They smoldered at me, in an intense molten black that had my sex throbbing in yearning. It was exasperating the hold the man had on me, I was exasperated, totally fed up, impossibly piqued and totally infatuated; which only made things worse. "No. Now, if you would please bugger off as swiftly as possible, I shall pretend I'm an amnesiac and that I never had a large bird-man in my flat." I didn't want him to go, but I wasn't going to admit that to myself, let alone to him. It infuriated me that in a few short days, while bleeding copiously, staining my carpet, hogging my bathroom and saying nothing, he had managed somehow to worm his way firmly and irrevocably into my heart. It probably had a lot to do with the way my body just loved his, but that was only the cynic in me grumbling, my romantic side was warbling on about love at first sight. "I'm afraid," he rumbled, that sexy voice sending thrills up my traitorous spine, "that is going to be impossible." "Look," I snapped, my fury boiling close to the surface "I don't make a habit of entertaining bleeding, bewinged guests and I'm going to keep it that way." At that point I made the mistake of looking at him and was totally mesmerized by the full effect of his massive frame as he came closer. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 01 "I'm sorry," he sighed, before tossing me gently over his shoulder. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 02-03 CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, fantasy romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. Sorry people, these chapters are meant to tantalize, ergo: No sex. If there are any insulted by such, please feel free to use the exit. To the rest: Have fun! * Chapter 2 1 As on many occasions in my admittedly short and uneventful life, I refused without constructive result, to take the facts lying down. I've never been one to shrug my shoulders and accept the inevitability of things. Instead I shrug, accept the inevitable, and fight hand tooth and nail; just in case. After all, I'm not a clairvoyant, and you never know when victory may grace one's powerless existence. What I can say is that, some strand of my ever loving pessimist's nature, is a foolhardy optimist. Despite my persistently hopeful outlook, up to date the success rate of my policy has been nonexistent. I just got a reputation for being high strung and obnoxious, oh and pushy. So when, several screaming, fighting, kicking, biting, minutes later I found myself deposited into one of my very own kitchen chairs; I was more than mildly surprised. I had expected, in accordance with my track record, that I would be merely bonked over the head and would wake up to find myself a real amnesiac or buried in someone's cellar. My kitchen chair beat both of these options hands down, but my inner pessimist refused to take things at face value, so instead of smiling in relief I frowned instead. "So?" I growled in a throaty rasp, screaming is not good for the vocal cords. "Well," he said, leaning delicately against my wall, his black wings folding gently around his large, hunky torso, one hand gingerly investigating the lump I had managed to pound into his skull. "It seems," he continued, in a lazy throbbing drawl, "that you might react to reason rather than force." "Huh." I grunted, trying to squeeze as much disdain as possible into the comment and my face, while trying not to regret the damage I must have inflicted on my fragile hunk of an angel. I watched him closely, my eyes roaming over his hard yet delicate features, noticing every little twitch of pain that drew his dark eyebrows more closely together. After a few more gentle rubs at his head he then folded his arms over his chest, every action slow and hesitant, in deference to his still healing torso. "Sit." I snarled, my control snapping once again. "I'll not have you expiring in my kitchen." I jumped up from my chair, strode into my disaster of a bathroom and scooped up the remaining medical supplies. When I returned to find him still standing, I felt my temper once again start to simmer. "You were a better patient unconscious," I stated in exasperation, "now sit!" which he did. "Are you always quite so," he paused, as I was tugging insistently on his black shirt, "authoritative." he finished, as I looked once more on his glorious chest. Despite the long gashes down his torso, my pulse still skipped several beats and I felt my skin heat in reaction to his proximity and my lustful recollections. I sighed softly as I saw the long angry looking scabs, the remnants of his injuries, and pondered as to why they seemed to not be healing. According to his swift recovery I had expected the scabs to be visibly fading. As I stared more closely, my nose inching closer to his skin, my breath taking in his musky sent, I noticed that the skin around my silk thread seemed particularly irritated. "I'm going to take out the thread." I stated bluntly, while reaching for the scissors. "So sit still." I groused while applying myself to the task at hand. It was much easier to do than I had expected. Once the knots in the silk had been cut off, all it took was a gentle pull for the thread to slide out. I was relieved, for as with all of my nursing thus far, I was going purely on instinct. I had no idea what I would have done if there had been any complications or difficulties. "You're good at this." He chuckled, his hands resting on my hips, helping my body balance itself as I crouched by his side. Unfortunately for me, those same hands were wreaking havoc with my concentration, as was his wide chest, the smell of his skin, his deep even breathing and the soothing pound of his heart. I tried to curb my lust for him, to ignore his musky male scent, his rock hard abs and the tender feelings that his vulnerability seemed to foster in me. "No. I'm not." I sighed heavily. "You just seem reluctant to die." I pulled out the last bit of thread from his wounds and watched in fascination as the angry red faded to a gentle pink, while the scabs knitted together right before my eyes. His deep throaty chuckle had my eyes darting up to his face. I was struck once more by how incredibly beautiful he was and so didn't notice at first that he was laughing at me. "Not funny." I mumbled, heat seeping into my cheeks as I looked away in embarrassment. "Let me have my fun, little one, haven't you heard of the healing properties of laughter?" His hands went from my hips to my face, which he gently tilted up towards his, his fingers lightly caressing my jaw. "You should try it some time, wipe that frown off of your sweet face." I stared speechless into his big black eyes, helpless to stop the need that I felt for him, unable to draw away from the sweetness of his caress. I felt dizzy staring into those molten pools, basking in his gentleness, my mind clouding over with my desire for him. I felt so tired, so tired, I was so tired of fighting him, fighting me, so darn tired... 2 "You know," I drawled, blinking my eyes as I swept away the cobwebs from my brain, "lulling me to sleep before you toss me over your shoulder is no less barbaric. Besides," I murmured, a grin slowly spreading across my face for the first time since his arrival, "its bad manners and I doubt momma bird would approve, little sparrow." I suppressed a chuckle at the astounded look now stamped across his face, brushed his hands from my face and stood up. I waited for the wave of dizziness to pass by as my body adjusted to standing once more and then went to get a bowl of cold water. He still had a nasty bump on his head and I was finding that I rather enjoyed taking care of him. "How did you?" he stammered, still looking rather bamboozled. "Who knows, maybe your superpowers have dimmed somewhat in accordance to recent events. You did take quite a beating you know." "Mmmm," he murmured, "but I had no trouble with the clothing." "Except for the lack of style." I teased as I started riffling through his silky black hair in search of bruising or swelling. "I have style." He groused. "Hmm, black, black and black," I murmured while pressing a damp cloth to his head "my very favorite." "I'm a black paladin, it's expected, little girl." "Of course," I stated in mock sympathy, wondering if kicking him would be an over reaction to his patronizing tone "all the paladins I've met said just the same thing. There, there, black is a lovely color... so uniform." "I don't see you making radical fashion statements." "Ah, but I'm only a little girl, fashion would be a waste, a black paladin on the other hand..." I let my sentence trail off as I admired my handiwork, he now appeared to be, chest and all, fully healed. For while we had been talking every trace of his once extensive wounds had vanished seamlessly, leaving behind a totally drool worthy expanse of gorgeous ivory skin. "Seems you're patched up feather, kicking you out now would not insult even the most active of wild life preservers... so if you don't mind..." I made sweeping motions towards my door, wondering how I was going to patch up my life without him in it. Not even severe reminders of his unavailability made me feel better or at least more virtuous. "Little one," he sighed softly, regret evident on his expressive face, "I cannot leave you here. It's not safe, not for anyone." "You mean, whoever did to you what they did to you, could do to me what they did to you." I choked, feeling the blood drain away from my face, my imagination for once not occupied in lurid snapshots of his naked torso. "Plus," he said looking mildly sheepish "you know too much." This brought me back to my own dreary reality. Know too much? Who was he kidding? It's not like he carried any form of info or identification on that glorious body of his and I should know, as my curiosity had had me looking extensively for any such. "Really," I drawled, my arms crossing defensively over my chest and my eyebrow doing the can-can with my hair line. "with my access to super-secret information I must, by now, be saturated in valuable secrets. Let's see," I mused while clearing up "I don't know your name, were you live, what a paladin is, why black is important, how you heal so fast, why you have wings... need I continue?" "Still, you know too much." He stated. "According to law I am obliged to take you in. You are," at this he paused and looked uncomfortable "a liability." "You sure know how to make a girl feel appreciated." I pouted, I couldn't help but try and make him feel guiltier, he looked so cute when he was uncomfortable! All uncertain and worried, his mouth curving down slightly and his eyebrows arching, giving him a sexy brooding look. It made me want to lick and nibble at his mouth. "For what it's worth," he frowned "I'm sorry." "You know," I mussed, "taking me in doesn't exactly make sense. I know nothing and besides, who am I going to tell what to? I don't exactly relish the idea of spending time in a mental institution, not to mention my kick ass street cred. would be down in flames." He sighed and slid his hand through his hair, he managed to look as if he was sitting on a cat, or something equally uncomfortable. "I have to take you in, please, come willingly." He grinned mischievously. "We neither of us like it when I'm forced to carry you. You kick and bite just like a little kitty cat." His grin spread. "All fluffy with sharp little claws." "Now, now, feather, just because I have lots of hair does not give you license to make fun of me. I am the savior here, a little respect would be in order, don't you think?" I tried to suppress my own foolish grin, he was sexy as hell when he teased me and I was finding that I liked him teasing me, a lot. In fact, I seemed to like almost everything the man, begging your pardon, the paladin did. Would it be so bad to go with him? At the very least I would still be in his company and the Gods knew that my life could do with a little bit of excitement. So what he was a mythical, wing totting, romantically attached paladin. No one was perfect, least of all me, right? "Hmm," I mussed. "for how long would I be a liability? A few days? A week?" "I don't know, you would be cleared," he coughed "or not, by the board of UUC. You would have to live with us for a while, but I'm sure that everything will be sorted out in the end." "UUC, huh?" I sighed, unbelievably tempted by the idea of days or even weeks spent with him, living with him. Uhh, there was nothing for it, I was turning into a slut when it came to one dark deadly handsome paladin. "Do I have a choice?" "I'm afraid not, little girl, I must take you in. It would just be preferable if you came willingly." "Doesn't sound very willing to me." I muttered darkly, a certain female name ringing in my ears. What if I got to meet her? What if he was married to Rosalia-My-Love? I wouldn't be a happy bunny, and besides the dire ring of "or not" still clanged loud in my consciousness. "What happens in the event of 'or not'?" I asked tentatively. I had a feeling I didn't really want to know, but that's what having a big mouth attached to a curious brain gets you, information you really don't want. "You don't want to know, little girl." He murmured, staring intently at me as he watched the wheels in my brain go round. "I could take you home with me by force, just for appearances sake," he mussed, grinning slyly "to protect you street cred. and my own dear he-man image." "Huh," I snorted, "Batman outdoes he-man or even Neanderthal any day of the week. If you want to be cool nothing beets a pair of wings, oh wait," I paused in mock amazement. "you already have wings!" "Very funny, little girl," he growled in a menacing manner, sending shivers running once more up and down my spine. "but Batman is nothing to my he-man status. I am vile," he stepped towards me, "violent" he raised his hands and spread his wings, a sinister look in his eyes, his lips curling in a snarl over his sharp teeth "valiant and villainous." "Oh no," I whimpered, only half mockingly, as a genuine thrill of fear shook its way down my body, making my panties damp. "a big bad bird is stalking me!" "You better fear, little girl, for I am also dastardly!" And with that he gently tossed me once more over his broad shoulder. 3 There are many things that, during the course of ones life, one is forced to repeat. They tend to range from the mildly unpleasant, such as visiting aunt Suzy in the sticks (only for those who have an aunty Suzy), to the ferociously torturous, such as exams and weddings (other peoples). It is hardly ever the case that one is found repeating that which is nothing other than incredibly pleasurable. Even such experiences as chocolate moose can on occasion, disappoint. Well, as I hung limply from very high up, namely on a certain paladin's shoulder, I wondered whether an ode had ever been written in honor of this particular experience. If there hadn't, I was definitely in the mood to rectify the situation. Now that I was at my leisure to savor the experience, rather than honor bound by myself to struggle like a banshee, I was finding it to be tantalizingly decadent. For one, I felt completely secure in his strong yet gentle grip. For another, I got to stare brazenly at his back and fabulous bubble but; all while being cushioned by the gentlest prettiest black feathers. I nuzzled the closest ebony feather and sighed in contentment, my hands encircling his waist as I breathed in his unique masculine scent. I was definitely in heaven and I never wanted to come down. "You know," his voice floated into my conscious, intruding on my fantasy drool time. "for someone to appear unwilling, they should at least give some sort of token struggle." "I'm struggling" I mumbled, "I really am, look, struggle, struggle." As I nuzzled my way deeper into his wings. His laugh tickled my ears. "I wouldn't call that struggling, little cat. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were enjoying yourself." All I could do was hum in agreement or disagreement, my foggy mind couldn't quite decide which, as I wondered lustily as to what his ass would feel like under my eager hands. "Ah," I heard him say, "here we are, perfect, this will do nicely." Curiosity getting the better of me I lifted my head out of my mound of feathers and looked around blearily. All I could see was my bedroom, which was rather untidy, but other than that it was still merely my bedroom. Then I noticed that my black paladin must be facing the wall closest my bedroom door, and hence the mirror, but it was only when he stepped forward that it actually struck me. We were going to go through the mirror! At which point I burst into uncontrollable guffawing laughter. And that was how I traveled to my paladin's home. Laughing all the way, tears streaming down my cheeks, my hands clutching at his waist, my head buried in his feathers as I laughed and giggled and chuckled. After what seemed like an eternity, giggle time is always longer, my paladin finally asked in a rather disgruntled tone as to why I was so amused; for he claimed "I don't see what's so funny little cat, I'm supposed to be carrying you off against your will, a decidedly unfunny event." "I know," I chuckled, as he gently set me back on my feet. "but," I giggled as my knees refused to keep me up and he had to hold me, creating a wonderful opportunity for me to put my arms once more round his waist, right way up, with my face buried in his solid chest. "my name is Alice." "Well little cat, it's a lovely name, but I fail to see..." he trailed off as he heard my muffled proclamations of "No, no, no. Don't you see?" "Alice" I cried, raising my face to look at him "Alice" I chocked "Alice through the looking glass, see?" Chapter 3 1 Like many things in my life, this occasion ran true to rote, bad experiences I usually found were not too original and used similar endings. After all, why bother? The monotony of a bad experience being repeated just makes it worse, which would be the point, right? So during the course of a normal life, which up to now had also been mine, the avid observer may observe the phenomenon of the interrupted-almost-fabulous-moment. These incidents, I had found, were the trickiest. They had a knack for holding off, just long enough, till one was about to have that first mind blowing kiss, or was about to glide for the first time on ice, or just at the end of that ice encrusted walkway when you think your but is safe from extensive bruising; when wham! Calamity, fate, bad luck, Venus, whatever, come into play and the moment quickly plunges from almost heaven to definitely hell. It doesn't matter whether it's your dad opening the door just at the wrong/right moment, or that little slip that makes a glide into a cartwheel and you hit someone in the face, or even that last elusive piece of ice that sweeps you off your feet into agonizing buttock exploding pain; you always wind up wishing that either a) you were killed at birth or b) you could kill all potential witnesses at birth. Despite my awareness of these intrinsic facts, I imagined in this particular moment, that perhaps this time would be my truly-did-happen-wonderful-moment. That mythical unicorn being that we all know is out there just waiting for us to come along and spot it. So, pressed against that broad sinfully delectable chest, I forgot about life and just felt and breathed him in. My chuckles faded, my pulse started to race, my hands tingled from the contact with his toned back and my mind evaporated into a state of heavenly bliss. My cheek was warm against his chest, his arms were holding me, I was pressed against him from head to toe, and my head was starting to tilt up towards his in the universal language for 'Kiss me. Now!'. Through my drooping lashes I watched him stare at my lips and in response my tongue snaked out to wet them for him. My lips were tingling, ready, when our eyes clashed and desire arched like electricity between us. The tension wound tight and our breaths became heavy and fast as his body leant down into mine, his hands sliding from my waist to press delicately against the top of my but as my body arched against him, standing on tip toe to bring his face closer to mine. My lips parted and his eyes smoldered as his head tilted that extra inch to bring our mouths together. "Raybourn? Oh my gosh, Raybourn! Where have you been... are you all right! You've been missing for days! We've been frantic!" The voice from hell, or the voice that had just jettisoned me to hell and had commenced with the roasting no trial needed, was the sweetest most delicate feminine musical one I had ever heard. It was also saturated with genuine worry, she sounded, young, cute and beautiful, and very, very worried over my paladin. Scratch that, he was no longer mine, if he ever had been. For, where before we had been glued together his lips inches from possessing mine, he was now standing an arms length away, not looking at me; and blushing, blushing at her. He was also stammering. He didn't need to say it, I could already guess. "R-Rosalia!" Ha, I'm a genius. He swept his hand through his hair looking boyish and young and uncertain and so delectable I felt a need to hit my head against the nearest wall. To stop any severe reaction, like boils breaking out on my skin, from his evident infatuation with Rosalia; I decided to smile beatifically at the lady in question. I also started counting backwards from a thousand, in bad French, to help restrain my newly budding homicidal tendencies. Then I made the mistake of looking at her. She was drop dead gorgeous, if I hadn't been so nuts about paladin boy, she would definitely top my wish-I-looked-like-that-idol list. Rosalia-my-love was tall and delicate, with a perfect hart shaped face, wide almond shaped green eyes, pouty lips and a completely straight nose all framed by the most glorious dark curly hair cut into a bob. Oh, and she had gently rounded curves, matchstick thin arms and long delicate fingers; which were currently clasping bird-brain's shirt while her deep green eyes stared into his. Sometimes life just wasn't fair, fun or even feasible. There was no way I could compete in her category, I was outclassed, under-weighed and definitely toast. If Mr. Paladin had looked at me now, I would have taken him to the eye-doctor or to a shrink or maybe both. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 02-03 "I'm fine Rosy, I just ran into a little trouble." "But, Raybourn, you should be more careful!" she pouted "You know how much I worry about you!" she stared earnestly at him. "I'm fine Rosy, please don't worry so. I hate to see you unhappy." He looked like he would melt into a big gooey puddle, any minute now. "Well," she pouted again, "you're sure you're not hurt?" I had a feeling my tongue was growing hair, there was so much lovey dovey stuff going on I felt seriously tainted. Not that I was the only one who found the display distasteful. From what I could see of the large domineering figure fast approaching on the horizon, things were about to get interesting, as opposed to just painful. I deliberately tore my gaze away from the cooing couple and focused on the approaching whirlwind. I might have warned the paladin and his rose but I didn't think they would even hear me; and besides I might puke. The other offended party was another tall dark and handsome paladin, though from the white wings that framed his long lean body, I was guessing he was not black. "Raybourn!" he bellowed, and I thought the roof would cave. This time 'Raybourn' flinched and moved minimally away from Rosalia-my-love, while she merely beamed at the oncoming projectile and held out her arms. The ensuing hug appeared to be more of a collision than a demonstration of affection, but my motto had always been: when in Rome, don't judge. "Darling!" she squealed "Raybourn's back! And he's fine, isn't that just the most fantastic news!" "Raybourn," he growled, "were on Hell's isle have you been? You were due back Tuesday night." His face smoothed out as his arm twined possessively round Rosalia-my-love. His hand firmly planted on her hip, her body so squished against his I wondered how she could even breath. Not that she was complaining, in fact, she looked smug and happy, her hands now clutching at the newbie while her eyes still made love to my paladin. Yes, he was back to being my paladin, as Rosalia Rosalia did not have him, I could and I was determined I would. Fair is fair, there were two gorgeous paladins there and she was not going to have both of them. "I ran into Raith," sighed my black paladin, to a chorus of shocked silence. "I picked up his scent at Marlowe's and thought I'd track him, when, well..." he looked sheepish. "You got pummeled." Finished the white one, concern now evident on his strong face. "Yes." "Ahhh, brother, you should watch your back, being foolish isn't going to get any of us anywhere. Now, let's let Janus look you over, just to make sure Raith left you with no unhealthy surprises." Well, well, turns out being a wallflower has its moments. Who would have thought that white and black were brothers? Well, now that I looked at them, they did have similar features, and build and mannerisms, but I would have thought that white and black paladins were a different race or species or something. Both brothers were tall and dark, but where my paladin had short boyish locks of deep satiny black, the white one had long straight midnight hair all the way to his narrow hips. Their faces were hard and chiseled, but where Ray had a thin mouth that curved naturally up at the corners, his brother had lush thick lips that gave him a brooding air. Their eyebrows were thick over identical ebony eyes and they both had square masculine jaws. It was a sight to behold, for both were drop dead gorgeous, but I was disappointed to find that my body only seemed to react to my black bird. I would have been relieved to find my infatuation with him to be merely a hormone induced lustful zeal, instead I had a sinking feeling that, I was really and truly sunk. "Rosalia, would you show Raybourn's companion round and get her quarters sorted out for her? I beg your pardon miss," he grinned sexily at me, his eyes taking in everything. "I'm so relieved to have my brother back whole I have neglected you terribly. Let me introduce myself, I am Cesar Carmon Ramnick, Raybourn's older brother." "Delighted I'm sure," I murmured, admiring his expertly seductive manners as he lifted my hand gently and kissed it. "Alicia Aishia Bennedictine, but its Alice for short." "Enchanting... name. Alice, I promise we shall become great friends," he winked at me. "once I've carted Raybourn to the doctor and made sure he is as healthy as he looks." "I see you are a dedicated older brother," I grinned, liking Cesar the outrageous flirt more with each passing minute. At least he didn't behave as if I didn't exist while Roaslia-my-love was standing by. "which," my grin widened "is always a sign of good character." I tried not to chuckle at his mildly shocked but appreciative expression as I winked back at him. A loud and mildly strained titer brought Rosalia back into the conversation, as she gasped, one hand delicately held over her mouth. "Oh my! I'm so sorry," she simpered, I had a bad feeling about this. "you're a girl! Well, of course you're a girl, I mean now that I look..." she left her sentence hanging, her hands gesturing up and down, a look of gross pity on her face. I could see her point, there was me, there was she, well nothing more really need be said. I glanced amusedly at my paladin, personally at a loss for polite words and wondering mildly at his silence. I was shocked to find an angry looking Raybourn glaring daggers at me, I wrinkled my nose at him, now there was steam wafting out his ears. Well, it wasn't my fault his little hug with Rosalia Rosalia had gone by by. Brothers may share some things, but I had a feeling Cesar did not want to share darling Rosy. Too bad, I smirked, Raybourn would just have to bite the bullet on this one. "Rosalia," sighed Cesar, "ladies dress differently on Earth. Trousers are not an indication of sex. I beg your pardon Alice, but Rosalia has never left Angels Crevice, so she naturally assumed you to be Raybourn's new page. Speaking of which, Raybourn, were is Maximus?" Ray flinched, going from mad to sheepish and back again. "We didn't get along, so I left him with Orvil, they seemed to hit it off." Cesar looked disapprovingly at Ray. "Well," he sighed "we'll have to see about that too, shan't we? It has been a real pleasure Alice," he beamed my way "but now I shall let Rosalia take care of you, I'm sure you're tired and wish to rest a bit before the evening meal." "Why thank you Cesar," I suppressed an urge to curtsy "it's been delightful." 2 In life there are many things one can rely on, but like the yin and yang of time, they can be good and they can be bad. The good tend to be corruptible, as any who have been to an amateur Shakespeare production can attest to (the plastic asp should not be the shining light of Anthony and Cleopatra), but the bad never are, as proved by the determination rhubarb displays in forever remaining unpalatable whatever the concoction. In many cases, the bad outweigh the good, although one might claim that this is because the bad are more memorable. So for each silken pillow, there is always an alarm clock, for each bar of chocolate a rainy day, for all small and weak rainbows a rush of late busses, parking fines, broken ATM machines, building sites and pushy pedestrians. Being a pessimistic optimist, I refused to live my life by these rules but, the rules tended to live my life whether I liked it or not. Therefore, as Rosalia-my-love escorted me about my new and perhaps temporary home, I was not overly surprised when she turned out to be a feline on the attack. I had obviously trespassed into her patch and as all rabid females (I of course was never rabid) was, in the advent of no male witnesses, proceeding to show me who was boss. I didn't mind, the scenery was entertaining, I could tune out the lecturing rabbit and occupy myself with plans of attack for my sweet little paladin. "So, Alice, as you won't be staying long..." she paused, looking sideways in my direction waiting for the outraged denial or any other easily definable tell, so I remained mute "I'll take you to Myra. She deals with all of our temporary guests..." blah blah blah. I could admire both her persistence and her elegant insults. The slights were invariably in the nuance of tone, the arch of an eyebrow and very rarely buried in the words themselves. Unfortunately for her, as I was not male, the scenery was very much more interesting. From the discussions I had overheard thus far, one would have thought that Angel's Peak, the city on top of Angel's Crevice, would be something out of a science fiction novel. Interlocking, science defying spires in gold platinum and plastic, ladies in ferociously weird costumes, men with large swords and power bracelets talking on mobile phones; the usual mix of medieval and futuristic with a dash of bad taste for added effect. Instead, to my very great relief, we seemed to be in a rather large house. Made of brick. Very nice, with high ceilings and tall windows, but there seemed to be not even a hint of the unnatural. Even the scenery, a large and impressive garden, which I only managed to admire as Rosalia strode me along, was very normal. After a few minutes I decided that I liked it. The design was simple, but elegant. The furnishings sparse, which is how I like it in hall ways, the doors solid looking for ultimate privacy, the light good, the air fresh but not cold; all in all it was a nice house with nice gardens and it could have been anywhere in Europe. In fact, despite the ridiculous name, my mode of arrival and the two moons cheerfully hanging in the sky; I was almost convinced I was in Europe. Plus, I had to admit, the inhabitants were a bit peculiar. There weren't that many with wings, but the ones that had wings had them in various shapes sizes and denominations. From all out feathers, to delicate gossamer fairy wings accompanied with an array of paws, antennae, varying sizes of ear, nose and skin color. There also seemed to be a vast number of normal looking folk, like Rosy dear, and all one could say about them was: I was suspicious. Normal people in an abnormal situation have to be very very weird and very very dangerous. The best camouflage is always the hardest to pull off. That set me wondering about Rosy dear and my paladin. I didn't think she would turn me into a pumpkin, well, not quite yet anyway. However, I did have to consider the idea that she might be able to, and then to evaluate as to whether paladin boy was worth it. I sighed as my brain immediately went into poetic overdrive over his deep, deep eyes, the ones I wanted only looking at me. Again, sigh. So, I was stuck with my paladin, not that I was really complaining, and so Rosy and her pumpkin creating abilities would have to stuff it. Anyway, I indulged in a nasty indoor chuckle, I knew Rosalia-my-loves Achilles heel. Ta-da, Cesar. I suspected Cesar and I were going to get along very very well. I also suspected that getting to know Cesar very very well was going to be mountains of fun, that boy was seriously charming. "Well," the huffy tone intruded on my private musings "well!" another huff. I turned to look at Rosalia-my-love, who now had a very pissed off look on her face, her hands on her hips and her back to a rather terrified looking girl. "This" hissed Rosalia "is Myra. She'll take care of you." She managed to make 'you' sound like a personal and very subtle flaw in my character and then with a toss of her head she strode off. I usually disliked it when tall people did head tosses at me, I always felt it was going too far, they were already tall what else did they want? But this time, my inner imp found it amusing; I figured annoying Rosy was going to be inevitable; so why not enjoy it? I turned my attention to little Myra and gave her an encouraging smile. People who are actually shorter than me are instantly allowed a get out of jail free card and bonus points. Especially as it's rather hard to do, at 5'4 I consider myself a midget, probably because my family are all hideously tall. Even my little sister is over 6 feet which was the last straw and has always made me feel deprived. So much so, that I used to ask Santa for a growth spurt. As he never gave me one I figured that either he was very inconsiderate or very fictional. I now had a feeling I should reconsider sending him a rude letter. "Hello Myra," I beamed. "I'm Alice." 3 Three hours and forty minutes later I was considering suicide, mass slaughter and grand larceny as ways to blow off a little steam. Myra and her girls were lovely, but there was only so much that a self-neglecting book worm could take. For the love of all things dear, namely books and more books oh and cute feathered guys, they were pampering me! All I did was smile and before I knew were I was, I was being spa-ed. First they striped me, then they washed me in a tub, with pink foam, and rose scented steam, and soap that lathered. Then they washed my hair, in oily mint scented stuff that admittedly felt divine; while giving me both a manicure and pedicure. Then they steamed me, oiled me, steamed me, dried me, creamed me and fluffed me, brushed and buffed, polished and patted; till I was dizzy, tired and very grumpy. When Myra came out with scented sparkly body powder I was about ready to give up suicide and mass slaughter for good old fashioned screaming. "Myra," I said gently, for me anyway, "is that really necessary?" "But, Lady Alice!" her tone was soft, her eyes huge puppy dog eyes; all sweet and innocent "This will make your white lily skin glow!" "Myra," I choked, "I doubt any leap of the imagination could call my pallid skin lily white. Which illustrates my point, don't you think this is a lot of work for no effect? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all the attention, but, um could we perhaps speed things up a bit?" There was a shocked frozen silence and then Myra clapped her hands. Fine, I might have been a bit rude, but if it stopped all this silliness I was fine with that. I was just about to wipe the anxiety induced perspiration from my forehead when I noticed that Myra's bevy seemed to be more industrious than ever. I almost groaned out loud when I saw them wheeling in massive gold and diamond encrusted mirrors. This was really too much, now not only did I have to feel like an idiot, I had to look at myself feeling like an idiot. I looked at Myra imploringly, begging her silently to stop this torture and let me go hide under a nice bed. My attempt at vulnerable puppy dog desperation was a failure. Myra crossed her arms over her chest, a determined warrior stance backing up her no nonsense expression. "Now, Lady Alice," she said. "it is almost criminal that a beauty such as you," I blanched "should not appreciate her good fortune. So," I palled perceptibly, "you are going to look in these mirrors" she gestured vaguely while I tried to keep the contents of my stomach actually in my stomach "till you see what all others see in you. A stunningly beautiful," my ears burned, "gorgeously formed," my stomach heaved "siren." she finished. "Myra," I gasped weakly, wondering if I could appeal to her sense of the obvious, "I have looked in mirrors before, so I am aware of what I look like," I paused "is it so bad to be realistic about such things?" I implored desperately. "Exactly my point!" she smirked, "I just want you to see and acknowledge what others see in you, in other words these mirrors will show you the reality, not what you wish to believe is reality." There was no persuading her, Myra might have been little, but she was obviously related to large immovable objects and had inherited their knack of standing firm. I spent quite a while squirming, begging, kicking, using force and wiles to try and get out of it. I know that normal girls like standing in front of mirrors appreciating their beauty or whatever, but I've never been one of them. My reflected me is always too short, chubby, big breasted and awkward to be anything other than a painful reminder of exactly why I decided to become a dedicated bookworm. It isn't as if I wouldn't have liked books under other circumstances; I would just have delegated so as to spend time doing other things as well. So, despite my cowardly reluctance to face myself, soon enough I stood in front of the formidably mammoth mirrors gazing at myself in horror. "You see," chirped Myra smugly "look at those shapely legs, those gently curved hips, that impossibly tiny waist and your breasts," she gestured "round voluptuousness; enough to make any man drool, while your hair is that of a goddess. Such long and blond and silky hair, with a natural gentle wave in it, making it flow and catch the light. You are" she pronounced with finality "delicious." I gaped slightly at my reflection and raised a shaky finger "That is not," I gasped "me." I goggled, "it can't be! I'm plump and too round and just sort of frumpy; if one can be frumpy while being naked. And besides," I said triumphantly "no man has ever thought me gorgeous." "And how would you know." Smirked Myra. "Our mirrors don't lie, their charmed to show only the truth, even if the viewer does not wish to acknowledge it. You are beautiful and there is no way for you to get away from the fact. Besides, how long is it since you looked at yourself in a mirror?" I stuttered and turned slightly pink at her knowing look, trying desperately hard to remember when I had last used my bedroom mirror. "Um," I mumbled faintly "recently (?)" I then had the dubious pleasure of watching the reflections of my cheeks flush a guilty rosy red as Myra and her girls tittered in amusement at my naiveté. "You know," she grinned devilishly "with your beauty you could entice any man into your life and onto your bed." And I must confess, that that, was when she got me; hook line and sinker. 4 Turns out that Myra and her girls knew a lot more than just how to make even me beautiful. They were also plugged in to the house, town, region and empire gossip. It seemed they knew more about me than I did, and had already been fully informed as to my crush on darling Ray. I hadn't been aware that it was that obvious, but according to them, it was written loud and clear all over my face. While I found this humiliating, they thought it was wonderful. In the words of the all knowing Myra "It's about time he found a real lady for himself." she huffed "Instead of that brat his brother is bonded to." At which comment the entire room hummed with agreement. Seems the delightful Rosalia-my-love, was not quite so loved by others as by her paladin duo. Although this made me feel better about detesting her, the comment that really got my hopes up and my engine revving, was what Myra said next. Namely: "You know, if you let us continue, I guarantee Ray won't be able to keep his hands off of you. Besides, I know were his room is and I can smuggle you in past his guards." Turns out not only did Myra know everything, she also knew everybody. Ray's guards were her cousins twice removed and as Myra put it, were very family orientated. Besides I had just experienced first hand what saying no to Myra meant, I therefore believed my confidence in her to be well placed. This time, the continuation of the interminable fluffing and prepping, was not so difficult to bear. Probably because I spent most of the time in complete la-la land drooling over all the things that I hoped might happen; and all the things I was determined would happen. Someone once told me that virgins have lustful rampaging imaginations; well this just-post-virgin definitely had a bad case of rampaging lust and I couldn't wait to let it and myself loose. My mind was just working up to exactly how I wanted to wrap my lips round his gorgeous cock, whether I wished to play with him first, maybe take a few nibbles or whether I would rather suck him in deep for a bit to savor his taste, before I got to the teasing; when I was jerked out of my fantasies by Myra pronouncing me ready. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 02-03 By this time dusk had swiftly fallen a couple of hours ago, the gong had been and gone for dinner and now that I was paying attention again, my body was not pleased with me. I was hungry; exhausted from standing so long, my head hurt from whatever they had done to my hair, and my thighs oh dear lord my thighs, the less said the better. Despite my body's grumblings and twitchings, Myra was pronouncing herself well satisfied with me, her current work of art. "Yes indeed, Lady Alice, you might be naturally beautiful, but now," she paused a huge wolfish grin on her face "now you are irresistible!" She smirked at me and sort of danced over and taking me by the shoulders, swung me round to stare at my now completely alien reflection. "Look my Lady! Prince Raybourn Rathinon Ramnick, will not know what hit him! He'll have you flat on the bed before you can say yes!" It took a while for all the information flooding my poor overtaxed senses to penetrate my befuddled brain. The girl who stared at me rather vacantly from the mirror, was indeed stunning. Her long glowing honey hair seemed to shimmer as it cascaded down over her shoulder, pearls and ribbons enhancing its beauty and making it look desperately silky. The face that peeked out of those honey locks was delicately feminine, with enormous round grey eyes, framed by luxuriously long lashes. Everything about her was perfect, the rose color of her quivering lips, her straining bust ready to spill from her corset, her impossibly tiny waist and the full gentle curve of her luscious hips. I gasped for breath and watched her do the same, just more enticingly, and wondered how on earth that reflection seemed to be me. "Myra," I gasped, "what did you do? Call in my Fairy God-Mother? And why," I panted, as I clutched my waist "can't I breathe properly?" "Well, we only enhanced what nature gave you," blushed Myra, looking pleased and slightly embarrassed, "and besides that dress is designed to make a stick insect look curvaceous, so on you the effect is luscious. Oh, and the corset is why your short winded, just take shallow breaths. You'll soon get used to it!" Her cheerful optimism did not convince me. I was getting more and more desperate for a nice lung full of oxygen. Despite the obviously ravishing effect, I was swiftly loosing my regard for looks and survival was fast becoming my top priority. Myra was unconvinced by my gold-fish impressions of a maiden in dire distress for air, so despite my begging she thrust me out, prodded me in the right direction and slammed her door gently in my face, after wishing me the best of luck. I will never know exactly how I made it to Ray's door, all I know is that some interminable time latter, almost doubled over, ready to faint and more than a little desperate; there I was. Just as Myra had said, his was the only door down that particular corridor, so was quite hard to miss; and just as she had promised, Ray's guards were nowhere in sight. I squinted upwards, my eyes unfocused, my brain swimming as my hand made a desperate clutch for the large knocker. I only managed one gentle rap, before my body slumped against the stone doorway and I was in the process loosing consciousness fast, when Ray opened his door. "Alice! Alice! What's wrong! Speak to me!" I felt my shoulders shake and I wondered how my body had mustered the energy when I realized that he was shaking me. "Air." I gasped before truly and utterly passing out. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 04 CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, sexually obsessed fantasy romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. BEWARE: This chapter is saturated with sex! If such activities insult you, ciao! To all other deviants: Have fun! * 1 My mind drifted on clouds of cotton wool. I couldn't focus or find a focus. The landscape was dark and eerie, tasteless. I wanted to reassure myself that I was alive, I thought I was, but my befuddled brain could give me no reference to proof of that. I wanted to feel, for in that desolate place all feeling was gone. I wanted to panic, to embrace the surge of fire that it would bring, the pounding of my racing heart, the sweating of my skin. I needed palpable proof that I still breathed, that my heart still beat, that I would not have to be outfitted at a coroners instead of the local mall. I felt, that in that dark haze, I was slowly loosing myself. "Alice. Come on little cat, please..." I grasped desperately at that gentle whisper. It was my only link to reality, to my life, to myself. Desire surged in me, filtering through my veins, saturating my brain, focusing my intent. I wanted no, I needed that voice, for that voice could bring me back, it could find me. Fire sizzled and cracked through me, desire flared hot in my veins, I could feel the life slowly creeping back into my body animating me with pure unadulterated need. My back arched as I offered myself. Take me, use me, fill me. Heat pooled in cascading waves in my stomach and trickled into my sex, I could feel the heat of me pulsing, my slick wetness seeping down my thighs. I was using the oldest weapon known to man, sex. I would lure that voice to me, bind it in the heat of my body, draw it into the bonds of my lust; and in our created heat my life would reignite. "Little cat, stop, baby please." I heard his plea, but it was too late. My body and mind knew what I needed and I needed him, deep inside of me, deeply pulsing, possessing. I could feel my breath starting and it came in lust filled pants, my skin letting off waves of hormone scented heat, my nipples tingled and my back arched offering my breasts for his pleasure. I could hear his moans over the pounding of my heart, as my hips undulated, my legs rubbing together, my head tossing as I chewed on my lip mewling my need for him. When he finally surrendered I could almost feel his energy crack as it rippled across my body, his hands suddenly thrusting into my hair, his face buried in my neck, scenting me. His body crushed mine and wild triumph rushed through me. This was what I wanted, this was what I needed. My hips bucked into his, caressing him urgently, my nipples rubbing insistently against his hard chest while my breath came in aroused pants, my hands clutching at the bed linen. I felt his moan as his lips parted, his tongue darting out for that first electrifying taste. I felt him shudder wildly as his tongue tasted of my need, his hands clutching my head tightly as he angled it for better access. His mouth slid delicately up and down my neck, torturing me, as he took gentle deliberate nibbles of my skin, sending electric bolts shuddering up and down my frame. I tossed against him, my eyes fluttering, my skin sizzling, I wanted more of him. My hands reached for his torso, running up and down his linen clad sides, scratching at his back, exploring his shoulders, caressing his neck. I nearly burst as I felt his hands slide down my body to grasp violently at my thighs, spreading my legs making way for his hard body to settle heavily between them. A slow hot quiver licked its way up my body as I felt the hard hot imprint of him settle firmly against my wetness. His hips thrust gently, tantalizingly against my core, as he nibbled across my shoulder, sliding the fabric of my corseted dress down my arms till it lingered, suspended on my chest by my taught nipples. My body tensed, held captive in that vacuous moment of abject need, waiting in desperation for his hot wet mouth to descend upon those twin peaks of desire. I felt the fabric shift in his hands, his hot breath caress my eager flesh and I waited frozen, desperate, for that last final inch to be breached. "Yes, oh....yes." I gasped, my mouth parting wetly as my breath escaped in deep pants. "What is it, little cat." His whisper grazed across me, sending hot spirals of need arrowing down me. "What do you need? This?" He carefully bit my collarbone, before laving the reddened flesh gently. "Perhaps, this?" He traced the curve of my breast with his nose, nuzzling my flesh before sucking, hot and wet. "No," I groaned "please..." I begged, head thrashing against the pillow, knowing I would die if he didn't take my nipple in his mouth and suckle me. I heard his deep chuckle tease and caress me before in one fast swoop that gorgeous mouth dipped and took me deep. It was electric and carnal and hot and just so good. I never wanted him to stop, but as he sucked and nibbled, licked and bit; the need grew stronger, hotter, harder. I wanted more, so much more. I wanted him deep and hard, buried to the hilt within me. My pussy pulsed with the tempo of his mouth, a harmony starting between us, him leading, me eagerly following. His fingers pinched roughly at my other taught tip, feeding my need, fanning the flame, but however much I rubbed my wet little snatch against him, he refused to plunder what I so eagerly offered. "Ohhhh, nhhhh! AH! Y-e-sss" The noises coming from my mouth where now almost animalistic with passion and need. I cried out my desire, my pleasure, in time with my pounding pulse, my needy cunt and his ravaging mouth. Finally I could resist no longer and as my legs wrapped tight around his firm ass, pulling him into me; I gasped my need. "Fuck me, oh please please, fuck me!" "You want me to fuck you, little cat?" "Yes, yes, yes!" He chuckled, drawing his hand ever so slowly down my body, towards my heat, and his trousers. "You want me deep?" "YES!" "Hard?" "Oh, God, oh God," I whimpered, my mind focused on his gorgeous cock and how much I wanted it in me, now. I heard the button pop and his zipper hiss down and then his fingers were at the sensitive crease of my leg and the sides of my panties. I shuddered climactically, this was it, my hungry core was going to be full, full to the brim; any second now... "I always like," his lips pressed to my ear as his tongue snaked out to lick it wetly "to provide," he tore my panties savagely from my body "satisfaction." he groaned as he thrust violently, savagely, deeply into my slick cunt. 2 He was so deep it was painful, but that pain was so good and felt so right that something inside of me clicked. This was it, this was him, my one, my only, mine; and with that thought, came a rush of pure sensuous heat, that washed me away with it into blazing passion. His fucking wasn't sweet, it wasn't loving, but it was more than good. It was blazing white passion, with shudders of golden heat; that had me rocking to meet each thrust and wailing as slow peaks built within me, into one huge, crashing, orgasmic waive. I could barely feel his hands at my waist as they arched me back, lifting me into a semi-seated position, his hips crashing into mine, his cock grinding against my clit, caressing my fluttering walls and kissing my cervix. My body shook and tossed on the wave of brute sensation, my muscles clenching as my peak neared its crest, until I fell wailing and crying and spasaming. "Ooooooohh-h-h! Uh-u-u-u-uuuuuhhhhhhh!" In that moment of completion, when my cunt undulated in waves on that final peak, my eyes opened for the first time and I stared at the vision that was him. The tendons in his arms where standing out from the effort of holding me and moving me onto him, his chest glowing with the sweat of our labor, his hair wild and tossed and his face, oh God his face, all hard and muscular and sensuous. Red, bruised lips, wide dark eyes, the irises expanded wide with desire, his cheeks flushed and his tongue peaking out at me as he groaned and panted and gasped; each thrust bringing him closer. His wings were spread wide, beating gently, keeping us up, bearing the weight of our bodies from the bed, helping him move within me, deeper, harder, wilder, until he too crested. His head arching back as he silently started to jet stream after hot stream of cum into me. As each spurt hit me inside, my cunt clenched, milking him, wanting more; and yet again I had the sensation of tearing and rearranging and rightness. Something inside me had changed, calibrating me for him and only him, in a way that my pleasure soaked brain was at a loss to understand. And then it was over, the peaceful glow flowing over me, sinking me happily into the bed with him settling onto my body, crushing me. I felt happiness and contentment flood me, feeling every inch of my body touch his, while he still lay inside of me. It was magical and wonderful and I never wanted it to end. 3 I think I must have dozed off, for I came back to reality with my paladin trying to disengage himself gently from my body. One arm held him up from the bed, while the other tried to gently prize my fingers from around his neck. I could feel the tension in him, his muscles hard and taught, his breath labored and it took me a worried moment to locate the problem. I smiled, my tongue coming out to lick delicately at my lips in satisfaction, my gorgeous boy was hard, again. I felt that surge of feminine pride at the thought that I could excite my lover so easily. I gave a little mewling moan as I tilted my hips gently towards him, sinking him even deeper inside of me. I was a little sore but, definitely ready for more of his passionate lovemaking. I felt him shudder gently and moan in response, his head coming down towards mine, his lips at my ear. "I'm sorry little cat," his voice was full of dark regret and dejection "I didn't want to take advantage." Advantage? If that's what he called taking advantage, I definitely didn't mind. I was about to tell him so and drown us both in the sea of our passion, when he swiftly broke our embrace and withdrew from my eager body. I watched him, puzzled, as he stood with his back to me, his hands running raggedly through his tousled hair. "But..." I murmured, about to convey to him my delight. "No," he groaned savagely "you don't understand, black paladins, its in our nature... we find it hard to resist temptation," and then he looked at me, his eyes running over me one last time, before he tossed the sheet dismissively over my sweat sheened body. "Especially," he continued "when it is offered and despite...our... feelings." I tried to find a flattering interpretation of what my black paladin had just said. I couldn't. Even with my brain slowed and befuddled by the sweet satiation of my body, I could still find nothing other than regret in his statement, regret that he had lain with me. Regret, because while his carnal nature could not refuse something so clearly offered, his mind and his heart had not been engaged. Again, I could feel hurt and jealousy boiling in me, he didn't want me, he didn't see me; all he saw was her. My arch rival, my nemesis, her of the incredible everything; Rosalia-my-love. I felt my instincts rise, I wanted to hurt him, as he was hurting me. To inflict some part of the agony of my heart upon him, I felt a beast roar inside my breast and I wanted to see him bleed. "No worries," I stated coolly, ice dropping from my mouth with each word, my heart blazing in furry "I needed to relax a little," I chuckled softly as I watched him tense, easing myself up from the bed. "besides, I wouldn't worry," I continued "I'm sure Rosalia won't mind." I watched him tremble now with something other than passion. I studiously ignored his wide back, his stony silence, keeping the walls of my spite high and in tact. I started to gracefully and theatrically look for my discarded clothing. "Ah," I sighed dramatically, locating my panties and holding them aloft. "I suppose I'll need a new pair of these. Too bad, I rather liked them." I tossed them aside. I could feel that my nonchalance was affecting him, even with both of our backs turned and my eyes trained on my ruined panties, I could feel the anger and the regret washing off of him in waves. He wished he had more control, he wished he had not, my lip curled, taken advantage. "I understand that to you, this," he almost spat the words, "is a normal occurrence." "Hmmm," I mussed as I carefully slipped my under slip over my head and started to ease on and draw the strings of my corset. I lost myself in the systematic pull and draw of the ties as I pretended to ponder his comment. "Well, understand this," he spun me by my shoulders, his grip painful, his eyes blazing with furry; his whole body trembling from the power of his emotions. "despite my nature, I am not in the habit of taking advantage of every opportunity thrust upon me. I am a man of honor, and I honor the woman I love, I do not waist my time with sluts." With his large hands bruising me, his torso electrically tense from furry and his wings completely unfolded in menacing arcs, I could see that he was truly one to fear. Yet, despite his angry words, his snarls of fury and his obvious physical superiority; I was not afraid. I knew instinctively he would not hurt me and perhaps it was this that allowed my fury to coalesce into a hard ball of fire in my stomach. His anger only further igniting mine, his menace serving as a red flag to my inner bull and not the caution it was meant to be. "Well," I drawled, "such a pity, but it sounds like I will have to relax," I paused for the dramatic effect "in other company in future; especially if these dramatics are what a lover might expect from you." I sighed "Oh well, cannot be helped I suppose, especially when dealing with such an upstanding paladin such as yourself. All those admirable ideals..." I let my sentence dwindle, primarily because I could think of nothing outstandingly sarcastic to say and more especially because his grip was really starting to hurt. "You really are a little bitch, aren't you?" He spat, almost chocking now upon his fury. "Now, now, remember, manners. You are a paladin after all, can't have you using blasphemy, now can we? Now, do take your hands off of me, there's a good bird. Wouldn't want to be caught threatening a girl now would we?" I saw my snide insults penetrate his anger, taunting him in his fury, baiting him further. I wondered for a few seconds if he would actually hurt me, for I saw murder in his eyes, those deep dark eyes that now blazed with a golden light. His hands tightened their grip, till I thought my bones would crunch under the pressure; and then swifter than I could blink, he released me. "I cannot believe I thought well of you. You are..." I wondered briefly what he would come up with that would describe my apparent decrepitude. "not the lady I took you for." As insults went, it was rather anti-climactic, but it did the trick. His words penetrated me to the quick and I felt a deep regret. I didn't want him to think badly of me, I wanted his love and his admiration, his respect and his desire. I knew that I had brought this upon myself, I had wanted to hurt him and I had, from the looks of things, succeeded admirably; and yet now that my goal had been accomplished and the beast fed, I regretted my actions. For now I was more hurt than I had been before, any standing I might have had I had lost, any regard he might have held me in dissolved, I was nothing but a harlot to him. A fallen woman, or whatever indiscriminate women where now being called. Despite my hurt I knew I had very little choice in any following actions. I could behave with dignity and let things stand; or I could make a fool of myself trying to explain my abject and desperate regard for him. I took the high road. I was never good at bowing my head in humility, but always preferred to suffer alone and in silence. "Yes, such a tragedy," I mussed, a twisted smirk on my lips, "however, to more important matters." I turned my back upon him. "I need help with my corset," I drew my hair aside and over my shoulder, baring my corset strings "would you mind, oh honorable paladin?" I waited for a few tense seconds "Or are you too chicken to touch my sullied skin?" 4 In the moments following my final statement I had plenty of time to ponder my actions so far. My beautiful paladin was not only my love, but also my only real constant in a world I felt would prove to be more complex the more involved I became. I had just, probably, committed political suicide. I had not only laid my only protector, I had also enraged him beyond compare and had insinuated into the bargain that all responsibility for our athleticism lay on my experienced shoulders. Talk about misrepresentation. Me the eternal virgin, well near enough, up to a couple of eventful nights ago; me the quiet bookworm, the cowardly loner, I could think of more romantic phrases, but the one that really caught my attention was more profane. To add to my predicament, I had enraged a dangerous being, whose capacity for violence I was unaware of, and then to compound my error I had turned my back on him. If I had had any instincts they would all surely, at this moment, have been screaming at me. What week victim turns her little sheepish back on the big bad wolf? Well, I already knew the answer to that, me obviously; as that was exactly what I had just done. The moment was shattered by his hands descending silently and this time very gently upon my back, where he slowly started to draw my corset strings one by one. I could tell he was as new to the corset industry as I, for his fingers fumbled and stumbled over each tie, pulling hesitantly to draw them together. My mind still occupied with both my idiocy and my shame was surprised to feel the emotions flooding off of him. I would have expected anger and repulsion; but although the anger was there, in black and violet waves, so was desire in a headier softer pink. I didn't question my innate understanding of his feelings; they seemed as much a part of me as they were of the man that stood at my back. As I felt his hectic and violent need, in contrast to the delicate softness of his attentive fingers, my own slumbering desire sprang up once more to the forefront of my mind and my body. Once again I was overpowered by my raw yearning for my paladin. For his body on mine, his breath on my skin, his tongue in my mouth, for his desire exploding inside of me. My body pulsed in sweet reminder of what we had done on that bed. My nipples budded, goose bumps forming upon my sensitive skin, and my overpowering need rose in sexually scented waves, wafting into the air advertising my availability. I still wanted him, despite the hurt and the anger, the harsh words and the catastrophic actions, I wanted him. I wanted him in me, on me, around me, his scent forever stamped on my flesh, proclaiming me his. My mind twirled lurid passionate scenes before me. Me, crushed on the floor on all fours with him mounted behind me, crushing me with his weight, smashing into my hips with violent animalistic thrusts. The slap our flesh, the scent of our mingled juices, the fire in my core, along the flesh of my buttocks, my back, everywhere in connection with him would burn. I was so entranced by the action displayed before my inner eye, that when his hands pushed me gently to the floor, I fell. Gracefully, meltingly I slid, my knees bending, my feet shifting; submitting sweetly to the pressure of his hands, the weight of his body once more upon mine. I could feel how aroused he was, our flesh so in tune that his need was mine and mine his. My hands connected with the soft grain of the wooden floor, my knees spreading as they could entrapped as they were in my shift's skirt, my body submissive under his, trembling and needy. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 04 I felt his teeth sink into the side of my neck, as his hands now somehow bigger with long cruel nails ripped through my shift, baring my buttocks to his attentions. My naked puss exposed as it was to him, dripped fresh honey mingled with his seed, ready and willing for his conquest. I felt his fingers descend upon me, one long nail trailing my slit and then massaging my clit ruthlessly, bringing me fast paced towards another lusty peak. My buttocks writhed under him, my chest lowering submissively down towards the floor, as I hummed and mewled my desperate desire. I felt his breath on my neck, where he was licking the mark of his bite, in long soft swipes of his tongue. I shuddered in reaction to his caresses, my mind going wild, my clit throbbing under the terrible punishment he was administering to it, each tremble of my hips bringing me into contact with his hard cock. "What a little slut you are," he groaned "so wet on my fingers, so eager for my touch, do you want me to make you cum?" "Yes, yes..." I gasped, my arms stretching over my head, my fingernails scoring at the floor. I was at his mercy and I loved the feeling of being dominated by him. His fingers increased their tempo on my sensitive bud, while he thrust the fingers of his left hand past my entrance, deep into my puss. "Ahhhhh!" I screeched, shocked at the sudden invasion, my cunt stretched wide in salacious hunger over his thick fisted fingers. I felt my walls quiver at the brutality of it, but yet again, the only true sensation was that of mind blowing pleasure. As his fingers started to thrust in me, I could feel myself tumble once again into orgasmic oblivion. "That's it, little cat, cum on my fingers, scream my name. I'm going to fuck this tight little snatch of yours so hard and so good, you're going to be addicted to my cock, that's it baby... I'm going to give you all the cock you can take." "AH! O-ooo-hhh! Oh! RAY!!!! I'm comm-m-ming! UH-h-h!!!" "That's it little cat, cream for me." I was finally coming down from my high, exhaustion pumping through my limbs, but still his fingers pounded into me, bringing my quivering muscles back to life, forcing wave after wave of sensation through me; bringing me once more to that blissful peak. Just as I was about to abandon myself once again to a massive orgasm, Ray withdrew his fingers and stopped playing with my clit. It was hell, I tried to cling desperately to that peak, but without his touch my body refused to cum. I gasped and panted in frustration, shaking my hips, trying to entice him back to my hungry wet snatch. I felt his chuckle rumble behind me, as his body came crashing down on mine, pinning me to the floor, his hands restraining mine, his hips pressed firmly between my legs, his cock thrusting along the warm wetness of me. "Do you want my cock, little cat? If you do," he sucked on my ear "you'll have to beg for it." "Ray!" I gasped, mortification coloring my cheeks. I knew it was silly to be embarrassed now, I had just come on his fingers for heavens sake! But hearing him ask me to beg, to beg for his cock, made me feel shy and terribly inexperienced. My hesitation made him growl threateningly while his cock started to thrust against me. "Please Ray!" I cried, trying desperately to squirm into position, to bring his head against the lips of my sex. "Beg for it, little cat, beg for my cock. Beg me to fuck your sweet little snatch till you cream all over me. I want to hear you scream my name as I plunder your body, you sweet slut. I know you're dying for my cock... so beg." The commanding tone of his words sent me squirming anew as I fought with my embarrassment to give him what he asked of me. "I... please Ray... I beg of you..." I whispered, my mortification getting more acute with each second as I thought about what I was going to have to say. "Yes, what is it little cat?" He taunted. "What is it you want?" He now had a rhythm going, his cock sliding tantalizingly between my lips, caressing my clit, making me burn for his possession. I could feel my clit swelling with each throb of my pulse, my walls clenching with need, my body tense, sweat running down my neck and between my heaving breasts. "I need, I want, you to fuck... me. Please fuck me, please!" My voice got more confident as I told him what I needed, what we both needed, and as I begged I felt a wild freedom come over me. I could do anything, I could say anything, as long as he was mine, for I was his little cat, his eager slut. It was all for him and only for him. "That's my little pussy cat." He whispered before aligning his hard cock at my entrance and thrusting hard, burying himself to the hilt, in one fell swoop. We both froze, gasping at the incredible sensations our joining brought, reveling in our mutual desire. He pulsed inside of me with each panting breath as I clenched on him, my walls fluttering and rippling in welcome. I felt his breath once more upon my shoulder as he deliberately and slowly opened his mouth and bit down, his sharp canines piercing my flesh to the bone, making me scream. His hips started to move as his hands grasped me violently by the thighs and angled my hips for deeper penetration. My mind was in a fog, the initial searing pain of his bite receded, and his point of feeding became a source of intense pleasure. I could feel his sharp nails cutting my sensitive inner thighs, but the cruel thrust of his cock and the drawing of my blood brought on a dampening fog of pleasure; where all I could feel was an electric golden heat coursing through my veins. Our pleasure came on fast and hard; the strong emotional tension pushing our passion to a swift and violent end. It was wild and brazen and hot; and I thought my body would burn from the inside out, as I felt his cock start to pulse inside of me, sending jet after jet of warm cum deep into my body. 5 I was just about to scream my own climax, when three sharp knocks on the bedroom door had Ray clamping his hand over my mouth as he shouted a response. "Who is it?" He asked, nothing in his voice betraying that he was still buried to the hilt inside of my creaming puss, thrusting hard and true, our buttocks slapping together, the scent of sex in the air. "Doctor Janus Arcan here to see you sir, about the girl." I tossed my head wildly as my orgasm took control, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as Ray delicately pinched my clit between his fingers and rubbed. "Very well, tell the doctor I shall attend him momentarily." Ray replied, his smooth deep voice, calm, as he coated his fingers in my honey and thrust them gently up my ass, sending me into further spasms of pleasure. "That's it little cat," he whispered "cum for me like the cock hungry slut you are." My body shook violently once more in response to his words before I started to come down from my incredible high. My body slumped in exhaustion upon the floor, I hardly cared that people were outside the bedroom door awaiting our pleasure, all I wanted to do was bask in my post orgasmic haze. I heard his satisfied rumble as he viewed my exhausted form, lying limp beneath him, the lips of my pussy spread obscenely over his thick cock. He slapped my ass once, before withdrawing from my depths, picking me up and tossing me onto the bed. The next few minutes were hazy. I watched through barely open eyes as Ray washed me down with a damp cloth, wiped up the seed that was now spilling from my lips, and dressed me in a large white shirt before tucking me gently beneath the covers. The bed was so soft and so warm that I slipped into a gentle semi-slumberous state. I could still hear Ray walking about as he cleared the room of the obvious signs of our passion. I could sense the guards outside of the door, two of them, escorting a tall figure that exuded vast quantities of power and amusement. I could tell he had come from a clinic of some sort, as the smell of medicine and sickness still clung to his aura. I heard the door swing open as Ray stepped out to meet the good doctor. "Janus, thank you for coming, but my friend, I fear I have summoned you for nothing. She seems perfectly fine." "Well, I'm here now. I might as well have a look at the girl. Especially as she put that expression on your face, old chap." The doctor's voice was sweet and melodious, exactly the kind of voice one would want to hear if one lay sick or dying. Sluggish though my thoughts were, figured I would like the good doctor very much. "If you must." Ray sounded a bit put out; as if reluctant to let the other man into the bedchamber. "Now, now, Raybourn, no need to get possessive." The doctor teased as he approached the bed. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew exactly what we had been up to and it amused him no end. His thoughts on the matter were clear and easy to read. Ray was a different matter. I knew he was annoyed at something, and he seemed to be frustrated too, but I had no clear idea why that was. "Just check her over. Fast." He groused, arms crossed, posture mildly threatening, as he crowded the doctor trying to make sure he could see everything that was going on. I had expected the good doctor to physically examine me, just like any other physician, but instead I felt an exploratory aura scan me from my head down to my toes. It was a pleasant feeling, although mildly ticklish and I didn't mind letting him do it. I knew there was nothing wrong with me, my body felt calm and relaxed, glowing and replete from the earlier bout of strenuous exercise. Still, it was always good to have medical conformation of facts. "Well, everything seems to be in order, old chap, but I should probably take a look at the offending garment. You never know." This time the laughter was very clear in the doctor's tone. He only wanted to see my corset because he knew it would annoy Ray. I felt myself drifting further and further into sleep, till the room and its surrounding were like a dream as I fell into the warm comfy darkness. The last thing I heard before oblivion overtook me seemed to make no sense, and would not until I awoke the next day. The doctor and Ray had both been silent for a while, more than what seemed natural, although in my current state it was very hard to tell. Time was starting to have no meaning. Their voices echoed eerily in my mind, musical and delicate in a language I understood as well as my own, but seemed to come from my earliest memories. "My friend, this is tainted with the remnants of a powerful killing spell. Whoever cast this spell was strong, but only a mage could defuse it. I'm afraid Raybourn, that someone wants your little girl dead." "Murder? But, how? Who would want to kill my Alice?" "I do not know, my friend, but we now have two mysteries. Who placed the spell and who defused it." Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 05-06 CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, fantasy romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. DISCLAIMER: These are plot laying, story building chapters, with unfortunately little nudity or even profanity. For all those in favor of rampant sex, tough, this is it. As always, enjoy! *Sheepish author comment: Sorry this installment took so long, but I've been battling with work deadlines! (whimper) However, I shall persevere (!) and more will be on the way soon. Chapter 5 1 Unlike much in my life, this situation was entirely unique. I had never had one of these before. Yes, I had woken up in a bed before, yes, I had been sleepy and befuddled before. Yes, I had dreamed before. But, while I had dreamed of nasty things, such as running naked down my high school corridor with the principle standing at the end, or of being entered into a beauty pageant, or of loosing one of my favorite books, or of my parents not getting divorced and me having to hide in the attic again to escape the fighting; oh yeah and my personal favorite, all my teeth dropping out, this one I had never had. So yes, I had had nightmares, all the time and especially when I was stressed; but I had never, never, never dreamed of killer corsets squeezing the living breath out of me. I mean, when does something like that ever happen? Maybe I should have classified that, when does something like that ever happen to me? It is true that many experiences in life are unpleasant. It therefore follows that many new experiences in life must also be unpleasant. I had come to terms with this. I had expected life, at unfortunate twists and turns, to creep up on me and slap me in the face with new, unprecedented, unpleasant experiences. However, I had fully expected that life would follow the rules of my life, and slap me with something understandable. Like my favorite bakery re-locating to the other end of town, or a dog biting my leg, my best friend snogging my date on the dance floor or other unfortunately painful but not deadly events. If the event in question had to be deadly, I had always reasoned that the most probable circumstance, would be along the lines of being flattened by a runaway bull. Tragic, but would still have people laughing, especially as I never expected anybody to miss me. As I woke up, with groggy reluctance, I swore I would never underestimate life again. I figured, with all the things that had been happening to me, that life had taken me as a personal affront and was making it her mission to spice me up a bit. Whether this was to make me look better, or to prepare me for consumption, only time would tell, but I figured I was game for whatever was in store. After all, I could definitely be expecting a more interesting time of things, right? Uhhh, early morning optimism really, really, made my head hurt. "Oh, Lady Alice, you're awake! I'm so glad, would you like some breakfast? Orange juice? Tea, muffin, scone, brioche, coffee??? Anything?" I must have groaned and Myra, being the attentive girl she was, must have heard and decided for me that I was awake. Considering the pounding taking place in my head, I didn't want to agree with her, I just wanted to croak. I felt like I had invited a party of jack hammers to partake of my head for a jamboree, in other words, I felt like hell warmed over. This I concluded, somewhat spastically while pressing my fingers delicately to my eyelids, must be what the aftermath of sin sex and too much drinking was infamously supposed to be like. I had always wondered why anybody partook of that particular concoction, I concluded that I still didn't know, especially when all it took for me to feel this bad, was a little bit of sex and only a smidgen of sin. I waved my arms around pathetically trying to defend myself from a passionately enthusiastic Myra and the sensory overload that was making my head swim like a pack of rabid Pomeranians. I did not want to know the things that I was knowing. I mean, who would want to feel the deep guilt of a completely innocent Myra, the desperate cold loathing of a sulky Rosalia, while listening to the heated conversation of the three men in the adjacent sitting room? Wasn't that taking spying just a little too far? Besides, I didn't want to be a spy! And... apart from knowing that nobody in the near vicinity wanted to kill me, which was mildly comforting, what did I need all this information for? Not to mention, how in the holy f-ing heck was I getting it? I had managed to ignore my budding weirdo senses the day before, but now, oh boy were they making me wake up and smell the garlic. Which I did, cook was definitely a lover of garlic, chilly and cayenne pepper. Oh, and we were having some kind of pork for dinner, basted in red wine sauce and something or other. I groaned, trying to muffle my super-irritating senses in my pillow, my arms clamping protectively round my head and my body shuddering delicately under the covers. I must have made a pathetic picture, for I could feel Myra's worry, she was in the process of wondering if I was going to conk it while in her charge. No small wonder she was worried and scared. "Myra," I mumbled, my head still obstinately buried in my pillow, "for the love of all that's dear, please stop hovering!" My failure to play nice was adding heat to the simmering pot that was Rosalia and I could feel how much my comment had upset Myra. Sometimes I hated myself for not being more sensitive, and sometimes, like now, I hated everyone else for being so blasted sensitive. Couldn't a girl be grumpy when having just woken up? Couldn't a girl be grumpy when someone had just tried to kill her, she was experiencing worrying symptoms of weirdhood, and she had just woken up? I felt like getting really grumpy and upset, but unfortunately, my head just hurt too damn much. So I settled for groaning under the covers like a wounded fluffy monster. "I'm not just going to stand and take this, any longer!" Uh, as if I needed her to vocalize her feelings in that irritating tone, Rosalia-my-love strikes again. I wondered if she really was the only one that mattered in her world. She certainly behaved like it, it made me feel sad for Cesar, and angry at the stupidity of my feather-brained paladin. Couldn't the boy have had taste that was a little more discerning? Weren't there any nice and gorgeous girls were he came from? "You," she screeched, the decimal was impressive, but I was wincing too much to appreciate the effort involved "are the most infuriatingly rude person..." she chocked "ever!" I wondered why people in Angel's Peak seemed to find swearing at and maligning people difficult to do. Anybody worth their salt and past the age of twelve could do a better job than that. Maybe Rosalia felt she was just too high and mighty to give me a good cussing out. With my head pounding like a jackhammer to a woodpeckers dance, I felt no compunction to curb my tongue; I would say what I wanted and fuck the consequences. My resolve lasted all of thirty seconds, speaking would require energy and movement, two things not high on my to-do list; so I flipped her the finger instead. I heard her gasp, speechless, and then smirked into my pillow as she stomped out of the room. Served her right for looming over a person in my condition and what a condition that was. My body was starting to send me status reports and the news was not good. I hadn't damaged anything or more correctly, I had fixed what had been damaged, but in doing so I had knocked out my energy reserves and was now running on empty. I seriously needed to recharge, and that meant going and basking in the sun while devouring vast quantities of cherries. I didn't bother wondering why I suddenly had an energy level, let alone one that needed to be charged in such a peculiar manner, I was too tired to mount an investigation and so decided to just accept things and get on with it. "Myra," I gasped, "would you be a love and give me a hand?" I felt a soft breeze as she rushed to my side, concern still tinting her aura unpleasantly. Still, she was as gentle as always, her hands helping me lift my body up into a sitting position. She brought me a robe, without having to be asked, and then helped me into it. She didn't seem to mind going at a snail's pace, but displayed unending patience with my slow aching progress. "Myra," I sighed, as I stood, valiantly trying not to just collapse back onto the bed, "outside would be good, the balcony... no the other one, the sun is brighter that side." She glanced at me, curiosity in her eyes, but I refused to answer. I wasn't going to do anything until I got myself to a nice patch of sunlight. I knew I was displaying worrying non-human tendencies, but I could just not bring myself to care. I would answer her questions once we were outside, if she asked and if I knew the answer. My tottering progress outside was a blur, a blur that instantly cleared the moment the streaming warm sunlight struck my skin. I felt like some kind of vast car battery, my body soaked in the energy of the sun, drawing it through my skin into a little golden ball that hung suspended at my core. A ball that was starting to grow and glow once more. "Myra," I sighed, languorous now, as I felt so much better, my arms stretching wide in that welcome warmth "the corset was nothing of yours. I know this, and I shall tell Ray of it too, you have nothing to fear of and no need for guilt or personal recriminations." I felt her shock at my calm words, then her relief which washed over us both in waves of green and orange. "My lady," she gasped, gratitude in her tone " I thank you, I confess, the time is a blur in my mind and I did not know if perhaps I had..." at that she choked slightly, emotion bringing her almost to tears. I turned and faced her, taking her hands in mine. I gently soothed her, calming her fears and re-enforcing what I had told her. She was not to blame. I knew this. I knew it as I knew the sun shone, and that it spoke to me, or that the grass grew and that it spoke to me, or that water ran and that it spoke to me. My mind was clear now, now that I stood in light, and I could see the innocence in her soul just as I could smell time on the breeze. I did not fully comprehend yet, what my senses were telling me, but I knew to trust them and I welcomed them back like old friends. They were familiar to me and much beloved, and instead of panic at the newness inside myself I glowed in delight at the restoration of what had been lost. "Myra," I smiled, wiping away a solitary tear, "trust yourself, you did nothing of which to be ashamed. Besides, no harm was done, I think it will take more than a bespelled corset to bump me off. Now," I grinned. "you don't think you might rustle up some cherries for me, would you? I must confess to feeling rather peckish." "Indeed my lady!" she beamed at me, delighted to have something to do, energy whipping around inside her like a little monsoon. She was not a spirit to sit still, but one who needed to be constantly on the move. Her enthusiasm made me smile, as I stood, face lifted towards the sun, surveying the sky. I wondered vaguely if the Kings of the sky flew anywhere near here, tasting the wind for their flavor, and then wondered who they could be; for my mind still kept some doors closed to me. It was mildly frustrating not being able to access parts of me, but I was too content to mind much, and instead concentrated on the gossip of the wind. By the time Myra returned, bearing with her a truly vast bowl of iced cherries, I knew much about Angel's Peak. I knew it was a city of light, built so that the sun could stream in, in great sparkling arcs, even in the innermost halls and courts. It was a vast construct, despite its humble appearance, and ran many miles beneath the surface of the hill, with secret entrances and doorways leading outwards. It was a city constructed as one vast house; one roof to all who lived here, for everyone at Angel's Peak shared a cause. The news of the wind was not all good, for it brought the stench of both death and sadness. There had been disappearances, deadly fights, peculiar occurrences and mysterious happenings. It seemed that I had come upon Angel's Peak at a time of war, and as I breathed in the bitter smells of swirling emotion, it occurred to me for the first time, to wonder at my arrival. "Here you are my lady! One bowl full of our best cherries, will you be needing anything else? Shall I ready your bath perhaps?" I smiled at Myra's eagerness, as she set a floating spell on my bowl so that it would stay respectfully by my elbow, and considered her words. "Hmm, I believe I will have a bath, but Myra, no complicated primping this time, hmm? I think it would be best if I were ready for action sooner rather than latter." I selected one of the cherries and popped it into my mouth, ahhhh, perfect succulent delight. They were deep velvety purple, so ripe the juice threatened to spill down my chin, as I dug in with relish. "Although," I mussed, "just between the two of us," I grinned rather wickedly "your primping was very effective, for which I am, very very grateful." Myra giggled along with me, some of her confidence coming back to her, as we chortled over the effects a nice plunging neckline will have on one's man. This time when she left me, her aura was much more settled and I could tell she was well on her way to her normal self. I lingered out on that ledge, looking at the sun move, taking in my surroundings and the beauty of this world. It wasn't much different to my own plain drab little world, but back home I had never really stopped to either sniff or really look at my surroundings. I had always buried myself in books instead. Here I suddenly felt a freedom I hadn't thought possible and a desire to feel, smell and look at this world till all its little intricacies were know to me. Besides, I sighed softly, I could hear enough of the argument that was taking place two rooms away, and I did not want any part of it. 2 "How can you be so calm! Somebody tried to kill her, somebody wants her dead! We should be mounting an investigation, doing anything, something! Devil take it Ray, don't just sit there, this is your mate we're talking about!" Ray sat in an angry silence on the low sitting room couch, trying hard not to erupt into heady flames of fire, trying to control his runaway emotions. He was chaos, emotions swirling in dark black inside and around his core, he needed to control them or lord knows what he would do. He avoided the gaze of his brother, dark brows furrowed in concentration, he couldn't fathom the depth of this. She was just a girl and yet at the idea that she had been threatened his whole body flamed in anger and his beast rose. He wanted to kill any who tried to threaten or take her away from him, he wanted to brand her, mark her, protect her and ravish her; there was no reason to be affected so, so he did the only thing he could, he fought it. Fought her. "Cool it Cesar," even the doctor's normally calm voice betrayed inner tension. "this is an unusual situation and one that needs a cool head, especially if we are to come to any solution. Myself, I cannot see what immediate action could, prudently, be taken. We don't know definitely that she was even the target, or that this was a professional hit. I hate to say it, but it would have been better for us if the spell had not been dissolved, then at least we would have some evidence." "And she would be dead!" Cesar paced along the floor, going from wall to wall and back again. Finally his loner brother got himself a mate and look at him, the lout! Sitting there so calmly! If she were his, if anyone had threatened his Rosy like this, he would be hunting the bastards down and damn rational thinking. "Nothing like this has ever happened before, right in the centre of Angel's Peak, in our midst and we didn't even notice anything was wrong!" "To a civilian, you mean, no harm has yet befallen a civilian within these walls. But well you know that our warriors have been wounded or gone missing, right under our very noses. These are dark times." "I still don't understand it, she's human! Who would want to kill a mere human, it isn't as if she has been publically introduced as Ray's mate and she's only been here a short while. Who could act so fast?" "I don't know, but what worries me is who undid the spell. Such spells are hands on, except for the most advanced and powerful of mages. We're looking for a major player and for such a one to be here without us noticing, is worrisome indeed." Ray stared at his hands, his anger boiling, building up hotter and hotter. The more they talked of the danger she was in, the closeness of the call that she had had, the chance that she might still be killed. That someone wanted her dead... He wanted to scream his anger, his wrath, his pain at the thought of her loss, he wanted to tear apart this city, hunt down her attacker and suck the blood from his body, tear him apart and throw him to the four winds. He could feel his demon rise in blood lust, his nature urging him to violence and destruction, no one threatened what was his, no one. "Are we sure she's even human? Ray, Cesar, what do we really know about her? Are we even sure she isn't a spy..." "Don't be ludicrous Janus... Ray, Ray, say something. She's as human as they come, right? I mean she saved you, she saved him, why would she save him if she were a spy? This is preposterous, she's Ray's mate, he would know if she wasn't human!" Ray felt something in him snap, he couldn't understand his own feelings and there was his know it all brother calling her his mate, his mate, his mate. What did Cesar know? He had Rosalia, the perfect mate, their childhood friend, his childhood sweetheart, so what did he know about it? He had had it easy. His Alice could be the devil incarnate, if the confusion she created in him was anything to go by. She was a snide, caustic, temperamental, disobedient, hard-headed harpy and he was fed to the eye-teeth of the turmoil she created in him. All they did was argue and ...! "She's not my mate." He snarled, trying very, very hard to keep his mind on her disagreeable attributes and not the way she screamed his name while cumming on his cock. "What!" "!!!" "Ray you marked her! You bedded her, bit her, claimed her; she smells of you for the love of bedlam!" Cesar was flabbergasted. He didn't know what Ray was thinking. It was obvious she adored him and the cad had taken her. What was he playing at? Treating a lovely lady like her in such a manner? It took him all of his self control not to punch the daylights out of his little brother. What could he be thinking of, saying such callous, outrageous things! "My Prince Rathinon Ramnick," Janus's voice dripped with poison, his eyes hard and cold as he stared Ray down "you both bedded and marked that girl, in the tradition of the royal family and of the black paladins, a bite to the shoulder during copulation is a bonding ceremony declaring the participants mated. According to law and to your own instincts, Lady Alice and you are now formally mated, all that remains is the wedding so that the people may celebrate your union." Ray felt the truth of Janus's words and the deep pleasure his beast took in the notion, snarling that she was his and only his, but still he fought it. He didn't want her, he hadn't chosen her and she hadn't chosen him. He would be damned if some chit of a woman burst into his life and took over his heart, his mind and his beast. He knew who he loved, the devil take it! "I didn't chose her! It was a mistake, a moment of passion, so for the last time, we are not mated!" The two other men stared at him in astonishment. They had never seen Ray get so angry, for now he stood, his body looming threateningly in the small sitting room, his face contorted, his eyes wild. Black paladins were notorious for their short tempers, their blood-thirst, for their love of war; their beast drove them to acts of violence and they would often self destruct, taking with them those they loved and who loved them. It was this that made them so rare and why they were looked upon with awe and called the Devils of War; but Ray had never been like that. He had superb control, for he had found a way to be at peace with the beast within him. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 05-06 All that was now shadows of dust, as for the first time, Ray seemed to loose control, his beast glowing from his eyes, his wings spread wide, his talons sharp and ready to slice into his opponents. His brother and his best friend Janus. 3 Like much in my life, this was not new to me, emotions very rarely are. I suppose that, being uncomplicated creatures, we taste all the emotions possible from an age so young it is then lost to the fog of imperfect memories. Perhaps disappointment and disillusionment are not as complicated when one is still wearing nappies, but it's bitter sting still tastes the same years latter. I wondered as that acrid flavor crawled along my tongue, if I had ever tasted disappointment so strongly, if it had ever been so powerful or so destructive. I felt my heart wither under its threat, my soul shrink and my intellect cower. Is rejection from those we love so painful because it reflects our own doubts about our worthiness? Or is it simply painful because those with whom we would touch souls are so few. My hands griped the balcony railings tightly, my skin chafing at the brutal pressure. The view was still stunning, the sun still shone, the breeze still sang for me, the earth still hummed; and I was once again blind. It meant nothing to me, this beauty, it could not console me; for I could feel him, my other half and the blackness that threatened to consume us both. I had felt his fury grow and as it did my perception dimed. He threw my perspective out, for as his aura got blacker, his fury increasing and boiling; I found I could feel less and hear less of what was going on in that other room. It was as if he blocked me out, befuddled my senses, weakening me. I could not tell what he was thinking, only his emotions, even when he was calm. When he was angry, I could tell very little, all I could feel was apprehension as if a great storm was brewing above my head, ready to wash me away in a tidal wave. I put off joining them, feeling unable to face him in his wrath. The thought of his rejection scared me as nothing else could. I thought that if I had to face that once again I would surely break. There is only so much any girl can take and still forge on. I felt he was mine, but if he wanted his freedom of me so much, who was I to gain say him? In the end, the decision to join the fray was taken from me, for I acted on instinct. I had felt the black cloud of his anger grow and expand, until it seemed to be leaking through the door into the bedroom. So when I heard that final bellow, that sounded more like a battle cry than words, I rushed inside trying to reach him before all hell broke loose. "I didn't chose her! It was a mistake, a moment of passion, so for the last time, we are not mated!" The venom of those words didn't truly sink in for a few blessed moments. Enough time to get me through the bedroom and into the sitting room to face the situation. The door banged open with the force of my entry, the sound ricocheting between the walls of that small room, drawing the immediate attention of all three men. My heart still pounding from fear, my palms sweating, my limbs trembling with tension, with his voice drilling a hole into my head and my heart I took the situation in. Ray was standing, looming over Janus and Cesar, his warrior form frightening and domineering. He seemed to be nothing more than a vast expanse of hard rock muscle and deep dark fury, his fangs exposed in a feral snarl, his eyes glowing with inner fury, his wings expanded to their full length, curving round the walls and trembling with his tension. Janus sat and Cesar stood, but both stayed unnaturally still, careful not to provoke the beast that was now Ray. All that moved in that room, were three pairs of eyes, that now stared fixedly at me. This was a situation to make a desperate believer of the most reticent and hardened of atheists, so I prayed to any higher power that might be listening, and moved into action. I forced my body to relax, controlling my breathing and slowing my pulse. My hand smoothed against the wooden door frame, my body draped against it in seeming relaxation as my eyelids drooped and a slow smile spread across my lips. "Well, well, I appreciate the reception committee boys, but you didn't have to. I'm fine..." I smirked as I ambled into the room, keeping my movements slow and languid "Ray saw to that. Didn't you, darling." My lip curled a bit over the endearment, and I couldn't help the mildly sarcastic tinge that saturated my tone, but still, on such short notice it was the best I could do. I felt the curiosity in the beast's gaze, not much food will walk into the lion's den and offer to cook itself. Janus and Cesar just stared at me, as if I had lost control of my senses and was now completely raving. I stepped up to Ray, and hoped that what connection we had would be enough for me to calm him. I raised my hand gently, pausing only mildly when he snorted and growled in warning, reaching up until my palm came into contact with his face. I stroked his cheek gently, uncontrollable tenderness making it almost impossible to keep a hold of my emotions, as I stared deeply into his feral eyes. "I'm fine," I soothed, "all is well and we are among friends. Come little feather, settle down, and come back to me." I placed my other hand on his face and urged him down towards me until I could kiss him. I didn't know how I knew this would calm him, why my words would bring him back to himself, but my instinct was telling me that this was what he needed of me. Besides, even with so much hurt between us, so many things unsaid, even with Ray's beast so close to loosing control; all I wanted was to hold him close to me. The moment our lips touched, everything changed, I could feel him clearly; every strand of his soul now unfolded like a map in my mind and I could trace every silver strand that was him. I could feel him lodge in the deepest part of me and I could see the two intertwined strands, one silver one gold, that tied our two souls together. Despite intentions or plans, we were now irrevocably linked, and my breath stole away as I saw us for the first time. The maze of his soul was the most beautiful of patterns, silver strands, linking, intertwining and twisting into a ball of dazzling energy; glowing in beauty and complimenting my own gold strands and patterns. Amazement filled me at what I could see, as I realized that this was a gift beyond any understanding. To see and trace the soul of another was a gift of only the Tashhates Zotis, Protectors of Life, Guardian souls gifted with two forms, one humanoid one animal; pledged from birth to the protection of life and of the interworld system. The knowledge blazed through me and a memory from another past whispered in my ear. "Our trust is who we are, little cat, do not forget. To deny this duty is to deny yourself... the worlds invest power in us, creating us, we are not creatures in the world, but of it. Remember it is not our duty, but our trust." As the voice faded back into memory, and my vision started to clear and reality began to intrude upon my senses, I realized one thing. I was definitely, not human. Chapter 6 1 Like much in my life, the facts did not make sense. Considering I am definitely a show me, let me take a hammer to it, and then I'll believe you kind of girl; the number of things I was having to take on faith were getting to be a bit overwhelming. I know I could have asked. Everyone knows that when in doubt they can ask. However, everyone also knows that with asking quite often comes, ridicule, disbelief, and a perception of one as a blithering idiot. Instead of supplying answers, the party in question will back off, sneer and inquire as to what kind of a numbskull doesn't already know. So from an early age, we are all trained to nod our heads and smile, even when we don't know what on earth the other person is on about. For to admit to ignorance is asking to be shunned by peers and acquaintances; and besides it is definitely not cool. Despite any natural reluctance to admit ignorance, in this instance it was more than that. First of all, I still wasn't too convinced that I wasn't just bark raving mad. I mean who gets their window smashed in by a hunky paladin, then carted off to a fantastical world where they start to experience the awakening of awesome powers? It sounds like a cheesy plot to some comic strip, who actually truly buys that stuff? I know the suspension of disbelief is the name of the game, but really, suspension of all disbelief, isn't that just called being a sucker? I still found the idea of me being stuffed in some white cell somewhere, far, far more believable. I just couldn't see the fates having a nice luncheon in the sky and deciding over fried chicken that they would make me the hero, heroine, whatever, of an epic romantic adventure. It's the kind of thing you ask Santa for, when you're five, but still know that he can't come through and you're just going to get another toy. So, sue me, if I was a bit reluctant to take my little paladin aside and confess all. It might have all been in my head! Literarily. Besides, if I was talking to some shrink, I didn't want to damage my case any further. No this was definitely not confession time, how do you say to someone "Uh, you know, I can hear things from like, far away, and I know what people are thinking and feeling and um, the wind, and the rain and the sun and um, yeah, well, they talk to me, you know?" I would lock me up, I shuddered to think what anyone else might do. Especially if all this was truly, actually real. I could just imagine them all cheerfully categorizing me as soldier type A and shipping me off to some war zone. And now, now my instincts were definitely screaming at me to keep my mouth shut. Everything in my head that I couldn't quite remember, was telling me to be cautious, to take things slow. Answers would all come in time, I didn't have to spill the beans, not right now. I felt my lips tingle as they slowly separated from my paladin. He was back to normal, his arms wrapped tightly around me, his wings folded over us, surrounding me with his comforting embrace. Funny how I was suddenly the one who needed to be reassured, I wanted, needed to know that he was there, that he would anchor me to this world and keep me tied to him. My arms clung to his neck, as my body strained against his, soaking in his warmth. He buried his head in the warmth of my neck and I could feel his breath tickling me there. I had never felt so at home. "I'm sorry little cat, I never wanted you to see me like that." He sighed, real regret evident in his tone. I chuckled softly, as I stroked his hair. "I don't know," I murmured, "seeing you all powerful, in your glory like that, I have to admit it was rather sexy." I giggled as I felt his snort of disbelief against my collarbone. "Hmmm, next time I want to impress you, I shall just go into a raving fury then." He grinned against my skin. "Forget the roses, baby, I'll just snarl when I want you to fall at my feet." "Well," I huffed, faking affront "trust a man to go for the least expensive option, just for that, next time I want jewelry! And it better be big! Expensive! Impressive!" He chuckled darkly, before taking a gentle swipe at my skin with his wet tongue, tasting me. "I would drape you in jewels, little cat, if only so I could have the pleasure of taking them back off of you." "Hey, you love birds, stop it! I definitely don't want to see my little brother making out, so please pack it in!" I reached out to feel Cesar and there he was, indignation and relief coloring his aura with purple and orange swirls. "I don't know," drawled Janus "I was finding it quite educational, I have never seen an unmated pair display such effect upon each other. Hmm," he mussed coolly, amusement and exasperation tingling through his tone "I don't think I've ever even seen mated pairs put on such a display. Maybe Alice is just good with rabid animals, if so, my dear, would you like to work for me? I could use your skills in the infirmary." "Enough." Growled Ray as his head rose so he could glare at them, while I tried to stifle my giggles. "Alice," he sighed, looking rather embarrassed and shy, as he stepped away from me, folding his wings and running hands through his hair. "I, well, you see little cat," he tried hard to meet my eyes, but couldn't quite make it. "We're mated," I stated, trying to make it easier for him. "Yes," he agreed, his eyes finally meeting mine, an apology lingering in their depths. "but, for us, mating it's for life little cat. I hadn't meant to claim you, not without explaining things to you, but it's not something I can take back." "I'm ok with it, if you are." I watched him closely, trying very hard to see what he was feeling. I could tell what Cesar and Janus were feeling, down to the last little twinge or thought, but with him, my dark one, I could tell nothing. I was solely reliant upon external tells, and I felt blind, deprived as I was of my other senses. Funny, how fast I had become used to my new, or renewed abilities. I wished, I hoped, that he might not be completely regretting mating with me. I guess, that despite knowing he loved Rosalia, I hoped he might find it in his heart to want me, even a little bit. I would be happy even with a very little of his heart, I would then find it in me to woe him, and stay by his side fighting to win him over. Surely he felt something for me, he wouldn't have mated with me otherwise, would he? "Ah, little cat, I really hope you mean that." He smiled tentatively at me, as his eyes bored into mine, trying to see into my soul, my mind, to find out how I felt about things. I smiled happily back at him, basking in his concern for me, desperate to take any indication that he felt something, anything for me. I felt content there, held in his regard, and could have stood thus before him happily, for as long as he wanted. "Lady Alice," sighed Janus in exasperation "considering the rather poor job Ray is making of things, would you take a seat, and I shall try to explain things to you. I know you are new to our world, so I shall give you the potted version of how things work, Ray I think I would personally feel better if you too, sat down." I smiled at Janus and grabbed Ray by the hand, before pushing him down onto a low love seat, quickly following him down and perching myself in his lap, before he might protest. I wanted to take advantage of every opportunity to be close to him, to feel him against me and to count the beats of his heart. 2 Half an hour latter, I was clutching Ray's hand, letting him sooth me while staring in shock at Janus. Cesar was looking sympathetically at me and Janus was making slow, soothing tut tut noises at me. Part of me felt like laughing while the other part prudently kept my vocal cords shut down. I felt the whisper of Ray's lips against my neck as he tried to sooth me and comfort me and while I appreciated all of their efforts, I was flabbergasted, not because of what Janus had told me or even the fact that I already knew all of it, but because of three rather marginal little factors that had slipped into the conversation. One: Ray was a prince, or should I say, PRINCE!!!!! Two: I was considered not only extinct, but mythical, as in belonging to fairy tales, ha ha. According to Janus, the Tashhates Zotis, in the legend of Angel's Peak, set up the world pools on this mountain so that they might look over and protect them from one central point. However, in real life, he assured me, no such thing had happened. Three: the annual ball was tonight, and not only was I expected to attend, they would be telling everybody I was to marry Ray! Just that one small little thing had me debating the pros and cons of hyperventilation. I'm not one to over-react, I had found that I usually faint instead, considering it helps put off the anticipated reaction time, and so far, I had found it to be a good strategy. After all you can think things over, before committing to the screaming heebie-jeebies. This time, with my body informing me that fainting was not an option, I wondered what I was supposed to do. Apart from what I was doing, which was gapping like a strangled fish. I closed my mouth slowly and deliberately. "Um," I squeaked, battling with my screaming brain to get some thread of intelligent thought together, "Ray, you're a PRINCE????!!?" ok, so the rational did not win this particular battle. Well, there is always a next time right? I felt myself starting to hyperventilate for real. I don't know why the idea of a Prince was so terribly terrible, but it was, my body somehow knew what princess clothes felt like. And it was not pleased. My mind somehow knew what princess duties required of one. And it was not pleased. All in all, every pore of my body, every cell in my brain was jumping up and down and howling in protest. I was going to be triple damned and dipped in boiling oil before I ever ever ever married a sodding, full, live, PRINCE! A distant part of my screeching brain registered the fact that all three men where staring at me in silent shock. I don't think it's every day that girls go into hysterics, bad hysterics, when told they're going to marry into royalty. I can just imagine Cinderella begging her step-mother to lock her in the attic and saying something along the lines of "No, no, no, wasn't me, I swear, and no I won't try on that silly shoe, god only knows what glass does to one's toes; but thanks all the same. Give me a call some time." Yeah, the image doesn't really gel, and yet, that is exactly what I would have said, and exactly what I wanted to say, right now. "Now my dear, I understand that this is all a bit of a shock to you. So, just breath in gently, try to relax, and ask any questions that might be making you feel uncomfortable; and I promise I shall do my best to answer them to your satisfaction." Janus was not helping. He couldn't keep the condescending tone out of his voice, or his thoughts, and the idea that I would even care at this point what world I was on, or whatever. Didn't he know a real crisis when he saw one? How could I be with Ray, if he was a PRINCE? Tears trickled down my cheeks as I started a round of enthusiastic hiccups. I really really loved Ray, and I wanted to be with him, I would even have consented to marry him; something I had promised my pre-pubescent self I would never do. I would have been happy to be his wife, over the moon even, but this, this thing of his was a deal breaker. I started to sniff in-between hiccups as my nose started to vie for the official title of river. Was there a way to have Ray and not have to be a ball gown wearing, tiara totting, princess? Surely the God of all un-kissed frogs was merciful, he wouldn't make me turn into a princess, from just a little bit of hanky panky and some mating; now would he? "Ray," I bawled, as I blew my nose on his proffered, expensive, delicate handkerchief. "It will be all right little cat," he drew me deeper into his chest, his arms and wings folding round me protectively as he kissed my head over and over. "I'll protect you, I promise, no harm shall come to you. You're mine. Darling, be brave." "I c-n mar-u." I mumbled into his shirt front, finally getting a grip upon myself and managing to control the hiccups, but not the crying. I felt him go very still, his body stiffening and hardening under my hands. "What?" His voice was soft and low and if I hadn't been pressed tightly to his now tense body, I wouldn't have thought anything was wrong. But still, the knot of steely panic that was still lodged firmly in my chest made me forge on, adamant. "I cannot marry you." I restated carefully, this time making sure to enunciate properly and to free my mouth from all cotton and hard chest. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 05-06 There was a terrible pause, a cold silent moment and I could feel the dread of the Cesar and Janus as they silently watched both Ray and I. "Why not?" This time Ray's voice was cold and harsh as he bit off his question abruptly, his arms now steely bands of hard resolve, imprisoning me in his embrace. I felt fear pound through my blood stream, I wasn't afraid of Ray, but I was afraid of him being able to talk me into it. I didn't think I could handle a Ray asking for reasons and wanting to talk it through. "Because," I stated firmly, refusing to let either my tears or my doubts affect the steely resolve of my tone, "I just do not want to marry you." "We are bonded, by the law of my kind, we are already married. The marriage ceremony is merely for my nation to rejoice with us. I told you before and I tell you now, we are matted, and I cannot undo what has been done. You are mine, I am yours, we belong to each other." I felt my heart squeeze in my chest, rejoicing at the possessiveness of his tone, the pride with which he claimed me as his mate, hoping against hope that there was some chance for me to win his heart. And then reality came crashing down once more. How could fate be so cruel? All I wanted was Ray, for him to be mine, all hunky and big and gorgeous in my bed for all time, why did I have to pay such an atrocious price to get him there? "I know I belong to you Ray, that," I sniffed once more, trying to look hard and determined and dignified, with my nose dripping, my eyes red and my face tear encrusted. "is not an issue, the issue here," I took a deep breath, pausing for the drama and momentum "is that you are a fully fledged, sodding, bloody, PRINCE!" the last bit sort of came out like a strangled screech, making me sound like a harpy with some serious mental issues. I raised my eyes bravely to his, squaring my shoulders, ready to face him face on and do battle for my rights to not marry him. I was a warrior, a radical liberal, a girl determined to fight for what she believed in, her own personal right to not marry Prince Charming. Who did they think I was anyway? I wasn't going to stand meekly by and let them hand me a happily ever after. The minute my eyes met his molten orbs, the absurdity of my position punched its way through my gut. He looked completely incredulous, in fact his whole face was contorted into a mask of puzzled doubt, he didn't even look angry. He placed his hands gently on my shoulders, as he stared at me in earnest confusion. "Little cat, I know how hard it is to understand the change in your circumstances, a new world, a new life, a new way of life. I understand that everything has changed for you, and that you have been somewhat pushed into things, but please try and understand what is going on. I'm sorry to rush things, but tradition calls for the wedding to follow swiftly after the mating, and I would very much like to claim you officially as soon as possible." He looked at me in earnest entreaty. "You still haven't met with the council, and you being my wife will change things rather drastically. I'm afraid that you cannot go back to your old life, and your position here, well your status will be affected by mine and..." At this point I cut him off by bursting into tears, yet again. He was being so sweet and considerate and and... yet... he still kept saying the wrong thing! Marriage, circumstances, what was expected, my status... Uhhhh! I didn't want to be a princess, I had had enough of that last time! All the dresses and the rules and the expectations and the balls and people always looking and staring and staring and looking and not being allowed to eat chocolate or do anything even mildly risky and just UHHHHHH! "I'm not princess material and I don't want to marry a prince," I bawled "if I wanted a prince I would have kissed a frog! Or bought a pea! Or dancing shoes or something! I don't want to go to any horrid ball, I don't want to wear stupid dresses and shoes that pinch my toes and most of all I do not want to marry any silly Prince!" I don't know what I expected my three companions to do. I don't know what they had expected me to do, what I did, to put it mildly... had been unexpected. They had not anticipated any objections on my part, let alone on the grounds I was presenting and they had not expected me to disintegrate into a little hysterical puddle at the mention of marriage. After all most women plan their white horror shows from an early age. Right? Well, maybe, maybe not, but the point was all three of them were at a total loss; so we sat there with me slowly running out of tears, in a stony silence that would have made any gargoyle fidget. 3 Like many instances in life, especially those conducted in cold official looking rooms in such horrifying institutions as schools, dental clinics, the bicycle shed, your mother's living room, ect., the reaction to my convictions was a rather frenzied and athletic attempt to change my mind. It seems that there is nothing so red-flagish for the big frenzied bull of society, than an opinion, especially a strong one. It seems, especially during puberty, that the majority of one's acquaintance spends way too much time trying to make you do things you don't want to do, say things you don't want to say, and in other words cow down and bow to their superior ideas and convictions. It doesn't seem to matter who your talking too, they all take equal offence at a negative opinion, whether or not it's your thirteen year old school fellow who stares in horror as you laugh at the idea of a pink dress with bows, or her mother, who gags at the concept of a girl not wanting to get married, or her husband, who gets hives at the idea of a girl wanting to do martial arts and doesn't give a fig about gossip. They all react as if you have a psychic derangement that might be contagious, so together with the obligatory horrified expression, they tend to back away slowly and then excuse themselves in a hurry. Usually they then come back with backup, other fellow members of society, who will explain to you in monosyllables why your ideas are wacko. If all else fails, and like me, you refuse to give up your weird and inconsiderate ideas, they will exclaim in condescending tones and evil smirks "Oh, you'll change your mind!" Well, one might, or one might not. That is, after all, the whole point about ideas, you have every right (as if they were a returnable item or a magazine prescription) to jack them in the moment you don't agree with them. However, this does not mean that you need them (like an opinionated mother who tells you that your new and expensive shoes are ghastly and you should take them back immediately) to tell you that your opinion doesn't count because it's your opinion now, and that obviously it won't be your opinion latter. What kind of logic is that? So, as my eyes crossed and I sat in bamboozled silence upon the stone cold knees of a silently fuming Ray, I listened to the myriad reasons why I didn't know my own mind. I was mildly disappointed at the lack of imagination that both Cesar and the good doctor where displaying. Sure, my reactions were, shall we say, a bit unique. However, I had expected a little sympathy from people who lived in what could be termed, unique circumstances. After all, Angel's Peak was hardly normal, back home. But, as they detailed how wonderful being a princess is, and how marvelous being mated is, and how I would like marriage and princess-hood and balls and gowns and crowns and things, it was obvious that I would probably never be able to explain my point of view. In the end, I took the only logical tactical option that I had. "So, Cesar, you are convinced that being a princess is a breeze?" "But of course, Lady Alice, I think you will find that you will fit in to royal life perfectly. You are such a lovely lady, sophisticated, poised, I doubt there will be any problem." "Ah, so you think I will fit in. I see. But, Cesar, I don't want to fit in. So unless you can tell me that I don't have to go to balls, that I don't have to wear tiaras, that I don't have to have tea parties with other important and genteel ladies, that I don't have to wear uncomfortable gem encrusted shoes, meet important people, sign documents and have a social secretary, you'll forgive me for disagreeing with you." "But my dear, just think, the glamour, the music, the romance, how stunning you will look at the ball tonight, how elegant..." I watched as Janus's eyes misted over with visions of parties and glittering jewels and fine wine and even finer ladies. It seemed he was a man of effete tastes and I almost wished he was the one being asked to marry a prince, I had a feeling he would like it better than I ever would. I felt myself warming to him, the misty look in his eyes was so endearing, and the longing on his face for such delicate things was charming. I couldn't be angry or scared, not with charming and considerate Cesar and sweet little Janus in the room. I relaxed slightly, on the hardened ledge that passed for Ray's knee, and felt the tension seep out of me. Things weren't so bad, all I had to do was put my foot down; and then in a few years, they would all resign themselves to the fact that I wasn't going to budge on this, and we would all settle down. I could marry Ray, tie him to me in every possible way, spin a spider's web around him so he could never escape me; but still remain independent of the entrapment of his title and standing. How hard could it be? "Janus, it is of no use. My lady," the tone was ice encrusted, with jagged icy peaks in a desolate frozen landscape, it was alien and truly, utterly, cold. "will not be persuaded. It is evident that she does not wish to be tied down or limited in any way." Ray stood up abruptly, tossing me onto the floor in a shocked mass of silently collapsing limbs and hardening dread. His hands idly straitened his coat and he brushed himself off, his face congealed into an impenetrable mask. "Lady Alice," he did not look at me. "I offer my sincere apologies for being so presumptuous as to wish for our union. Be assured that you shall be bothered by me, no longer, good day. Gentlemen." And with that, horrid, stuffy speech, he left. As the three of us stared in shocked horror at the door which had just slammed shut, there was only one thing I could think of to say. "Oh, fuck." Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 07 CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, fantasy romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. Sorry this has taken me so long people, but, there are several firsts for me in this section and most of them have been very hard for me to write. So please enjoy and I hope it was worth the wait. 1 Like much in my life, crashing, horrid, debilitating moments where also a part of my existence; and this one took the cake. Crumpled on the floor where he had left me, my eyes staring blankly through space, my face wiped clean of all emotion, my husk of a body now too fragile to contain the roaring, melting pot that surged behind my creepily calm façade; I wondered at how fate was going to fix this. My eyes bulged as the shock wore off, and tears gathered there, threatening to spill in profusion down my cheeks. Sometimes life was just too horrid. How could one even think of fixing something that tore the very heart from one's breast? Surely such emotion was meant to be fatal; no one could expect to survive this, especially with my brain chattering at me from behind closed doors. My breath came creeping slowly into my body, the fog was receding from my brain, and the litany of screaming lamentation eased off like the last dregs of leg cramp; leaving me behind. In the wake of my initial shock I was not allowed blissful self pity. For: as commonly known, but commonly unacknowledged, when reason is reasserted after such an experience you're not allowed to go and cower in deep bedcovers and never come out. No, no such luck, the logical animal called your brain, insists on the torture known as replay. So as the scenario unfolded once more before my eyes, the water works were turned on and big fat tears slid lazily down my face; closely followed by a free-for-all waterfall as the flood gates opened. Sitting on the floor sobbing my heart out is not high on my list of things I want to do before I die, or turn thirty, or have to work for a living, it is and was, despite my indulgences in it, an activity I had never much appreciated. I wasn't the crying-pot kind of girl, I had always prided myself on my kick ass qualities, not my whimpering in defeat merits. I had known, in my little universe, that while I was boring and studious and rather square, I was not in any way sensitive or vulnerable or wimpish, I was a hard assed know-it-all bitch. Well, turns out I was wrong. Love had come along and knocked one hell of a big hole into my little universe, I was now hanging upside down in an alternate reality, where paladins came in the big hunky but ultimately sensitive variety that, by the looks of things, could stomp all over my heart. I was looking at a serious need to overhaul my ideas about me, about life and most importantly about love. My paladin was part of me, linked to my soul, as necessary as breathing, more even; and ultimately my emotional stability and happiness depended on him. I didn't like the idea. In fact, I think I had been fighting this very conclusion from the beginning. Nobody wants to realize exactly how vulnerable they are to that one special person. Admitting that anybody has the power to change you, make you behave in weird silly ways, and is essential to your existence is against the religion of the modern, capable world. The modern woman is supposed to be able to set her own terms, define her own life, live according to her own rules, I was that modern woman, and up to now I had been determined that I would remain for ever more essentially my own. It seemed things were going to change. I was starting to realize that love meant compromise, and that if I wanted my paladin I was going to have to take him with all the strings that came with him. This wasn't a situation where I could pick and choose what I wanted and what would suit me. He was real, he had a life and a family and responsibilities, if I didn't like that... I could leave and become who I was before. But, despite my ideas about who I was and where I was going, I didn't want to go back to that drab little person I had been before he came along. There was something about being in love with him that brought the fire of my soul out. With him I was vibrantly alive and whether happy or sad, with him I was more me, than I had ever been before. Well, I guessed there was only one thing for it. "Well," I said, whipping my face dry, "that went well." I grinned at Cesar and Janus who seemed to have been frozen with horrified and incredulous expressions on their faces ever since the door slamming incident. "I think it's time I changed my mind, don't you?" "Um, Lady Alice, I don't think I really understand what just happened." Janus looked bamboozled and had a glazed look in his eyes as he ran his hands repeatedly through his hair, till he looked like a little tousled spaniel, all fluffy and confused. "It's simple enough," I stated briskly, as I picked myself up from the floor and dusted myself off. "I don't want to be married or married to a prince or to become a princess, but if that is what it takes to have Ray," I chuckled softly "I don't think I have much of a choice." Cesar was far more collected than Janus, and his eyes sharpened shrewdly as he stared at my apparent calm. I knew what he was thinking, I was thinking it too. It was about time I came to my senses, but it was going to take some kind of miracle to reconcile Ray and I. It wasn't that Ray didn't want me, I could see that now, after all we were mated; he had as much choice about wanting me as I had of wanting him. It was also true, however, that he was a black paladin, and black paladins were not known for their calm, logical and even tempers. They were instead known for their tempers and their capacity to hold a grudge, however much they were hurting. In other words, our relationship was going to be a stormy one, and I could see occasions just like this one were going to be a rather frequent occurrence, but love crazed as I was, I couldn't seem to bring myself to mind. After all, make up sex is supposed to be the best, right? 2 I told Janus and Cesar that I was fine and that everything would be fine and that after I had taken my rather belated bath I would very much enjoy the grand tour, especially if it ended with Ray's current location. I had some serious groveling to do. Janus left, muttering about fiery tempers and stupid love sick couples, but Cesar just gave me one last sympathetic smile before sprinting off to find Rosalia. She had been rather obvious about her displeasure earlier, and his refusal to go and comfort her was going to land him in one hell of a lot of trouble. I wished him luck with the harpy, I had a feeling he would need it, perhaps even more than I. Once they had left, the living room suddenly bare and empty, I stood for a moment, gathering my mental strings together and winding up my gumption. There were things to do, a prince to woe, a ball to go to and a marriage to arrange. I needed my head to be in gear if I expected to survive any of it with my sanity in tact. I breathed in deeply, shoved my sleeves determinedly up my arms and marched confidently and boisterously into my bedroom. The first thing I was going to tackle was that bath, and oh boy was it going to know who was boss. The door swung open with a soft whoosh, and I was steaming into the room full tilt, my brows furrowed in wool gathering concentration, my legs on automatic pilot and my faculties obviously disengaged; because I did not notice my guest, until I almost barreled into him. I stopped merely a foot away, my reflexes hauling on the brakes as I glimpsed him from a corner in my peripheral vision. As I eyeballed him in shock, I understood that stopping had definitely been a very good idea, especially as this particular guest was the kind that you don't want to bump into, not even on a sunny day with an automatic weapon in one hand and a can of pepper spray in the other. No, he was the sinister, blood stoppingly scary, black-cloak wearing type, with evil gleaming eyes, shadowed features and a definite air of malevolence. The moment became mildly fuzzy and everything receded as we stared at each other. He, balanced over my bath, hand gently tilting a vial of liquid, which still poured in goopy quantities into my bath water where it fizzled in little green bubbles. I, my clothes and hair swirling in a gently swaying agitated mass, my eyes the size of saucers and my temper pricking under my skin. While in my other life I would have screamed and run away, in this one, things were going to have to change... so they could bloody well start changing with this. "That," I snarled politely, "is my bath, and," I smiled menacingly "I'm very particular about my bathing salts, you see," I stepped forward feeling my anger sizzle "I only like jasmine... and that is not... jasmine." I stared at his hood, fingers curling with tension, every nerve in my body on edge and just dying to let off a little bit of steam. At that moment I didn't care that I had never really kicked anybody's ass, and that caped figures usually mean business; all I knew was that things had not been going my way lately and I would not say no to a bit of therapeutic violence. I saw the fabric twitch, as his hand receded and the vial got tucked gently back into the dark depths of his person. The deep void within his hood seemed to grin at me as he snickered in an insolent manner, obviously unimpressed by my newly found balls. Staring at his figure, shadowy and sinister, invading my little bedroom, my life, my bath, I felt an alien burst of bestial emotion surge in my breast fusing with my inner warrior; and before I knew where I was, I had his ripped out neck tendons in my bloody fingers as I sent my aura into his chest and turned his beating heart into putty. I snarled ferally into his shocked face, now a contorted death mask, as I felt my heart beat rapidly with elation at his death. His blood spurting and seeping onto my hands, my clothes, congealing under my fingernails, dripping and pooling onto my floor, I lowered my head and sniffed in the smell of his sour, decaying blood, before loosing interest abruptly as my head jerked up, senses humming at a new presence, a new threat. The body of the now completely dead wizard turning to dust upon my tightly clutching hands, I stared deeply into the eyes of his hovering double. Caped and hooded, this visitor displayed identical dress code, but compared to the dusty skeleton hanging from my fingertips, this one exuded a friendly sort of approval. Floating in semi transparency outside of my room, just beyond the reach of my balcony with his hood tilted a little to the side, he felt like a friend. Just one I couldn't quite place or hadn't met yet; but before I could even blink, he waved at me and left. I stared at the empty air where he had been, rather bamboozled, but decidedly less ruffled, before huffing, shaking the last powdery remains off of my clothes and attending to my poison laced bath. Somewhere in my brain the knowledge that I had just murdered somebody ticked away like a little bomb, but for the moment all I felt was an animalistic contentment at the eradication of an enemy. My lips stayed curled in a threatening sneer, daring my surroundings to spring any more unpleasant surprises on me. I was done being a victim, best of all I was done being a victim of my own pathetic insecurities, this world had better learn not to fuck with me or else... I took one of the crystal glasses from the bedside table and held it to the surface of the water. Despite the noxious green color of the poison it had now dissolved so completely that not a trace of it was left to the unwary eye. I stared into my bath sternly and asked the water and the green goop to separate, instructing the lethal globulous mass to pour itself into my glass. I watched as the water turned cloudy once more, a green solid mass forming just under the tilted rim of my glass, before oozing peacefully into my container. I held the glass up to the light, admiring the completely repulsive qualities of the now, innocently contained poison. I thanked it politely for its co-operation, before placing the glass back on the table and absentmindedly proceeding with my bath. I sighed as I ran jasmine scented soap up and down my calves, things just kept getting more and more complicated. I knew that murder was against my nature. I also knew, especially after the recent incident, that I had the capacity to kill with ease. But, I should not have enjoyed the experience, and most of all, I should not have lost control like that. Every instinct in my body was geared to protecting life, not to ending it. I knew that this reluctance to kill, which was so much a part of my newly discovered magic, could create problems. Theoretically, being unable to act instinctively in self-defense, or even to take a logical and prudent decision to end an enemy's life, could mean the difference between life and death. I sighed, despite the prudence in a willingness to deal out death as required, I still didn't like the idea that I was capable of so easily taking violent action. Now that my blood lust and animalistic drive of self-preservation was starting to fade, I felt only regret and puzzlement at my actions. I was Tashhates Zotis, it was my sacred duty to protect life, to ensure its continuation, I was not a cold blooded killer, and yet, that was exactly what my actions had just made me. I wondered what Ray would think of me if he ever found out that I had killed a man so casually. Was I silly to hope that he would forgive me? I sighed in exasperation, angry at myself for thinking of a death as merely an inconvenience to my romance. How cold hearted had I become? I shuddered softly, in horror at my own callousness, before getting out of the bath and starting to dress. There seemed to be only one constant in this new world, things refused to go to plan. I carefully chose a sexy little girl outfit, the sexy being in the low off the shoulders neck that highlighted my cleavage and the laces down the back, while the little girl was in the pink bows that decorated my demure but flirty knee length skirt and in the overall candy pinkness of the outfit. I was going for innocent and sweet, while hoping to garner a certain need in my partner to divest me of my clothes, brutally. I stared at my now clean hands, so innocent looking, and then thrust them in exasperation behind my back. The deceased had not been my granny for the love of god, he had been cheerfully pouring death into my bath and I wouldn't have caught him fretting afterwards about my demise either. I huffed, he was probably some crass hit man, or hit sorcerer or whatever; little hiccups like these were bound to happen. "Pull it together Alice! You're no longer a wuss remember? You're going to be the wife of a black paladin and a princess, and princesses do what they have to do, they don't have time to blubber over silly dead people. So buckle up! And get to it!" My little pep talk just made me feel silly, but I still managed to walk myself out of that room, towards the rest of my life and that most horrendous of events, the ball. 3 The good thing about being me, in that particular moment, was that I found I didn't need to ask for directions any more. Well, not from anyone traditional that is, instead I could ask the corridor breeze, the stone in the floor or the sunlight. For once, I could feel confident in my sense of direction and in my capacity to not get lost. The bad thing about being me, in that particular moment, was that I had found my destination. I was standing right in front of Cesar's door, where I was supposed to be, so that Cesar could take me for introductory walkies around the grounds and bump me casually into Ray. So far, everything had gone according to plan, well, if you discounted my bathroom corpse incident. But this, I rolled my eyes at the sympathetic ceiling, was really a bit much. "Ooooooh, Cesar, that's it baby, squeeze my tities." Rosalia was on a plush, overly frilled four poster bed, with long pink drapes sequined with roses hanging down to the floor, the oak wood carved into twirls and intricate swirls to within an inch of its life, the headboard quilted with embroidered silk and the mattress covered with matching frosted pink silk sheets. She looked like a long limbed pale lily, her hands arced over her head, clutching at a lace pillow, her dark hair gleaming against the paleness of her skin, the pink of the covers. She looked ravishing, and part of me still envied her that, despite her rather rabid disposition. I could see why Cesar seemed entranced, his eyes clouded with desire, his hands glued to her sweet breasts, his thumbs playing delicately with the rosy tips as his hips undulated in the cradle of her thighs, his wings already spread wide with his passion. I felt heat creep up me, I didn't want to spy on Cesar and Rosy's private moments, but I felt a thrill as Cesar's lust rolled over me in waves, lighting my fire till my honey started to drip down my thighs. I admired the view of Cesar's perfect ass, as he lowered his head and arched his back bringing his mouth to play over her nipples, his tongue tracing teasing patterns over her flesh, nipping and sucking in worshipful abandon. Rosalia arched her back, pressing her breasts into the caress of his mouth, but, peculiarly enough her aura didn't seem to display any kind of arousal. My ears listened to her moan lecherously, but her aura remained a stubborn calm gray, compared to the color of lust that radiated off of Cesar, she might as well have been reading a book. A boring book. His tongue played softly with her nipple as his hand slid down, caressing her white skin with an expert tenderness, as he parted her ebony curls and caressed her slit. She moaned encouragingly, begging him to take her, use her and fill her, her language making my ears heat with embarrassment. She didn't sound unaffected, she sounded more than eager, she sounded almost desperate for his touch on her skin, his body covering hers, for his ultimate possession of her. "My Rose... what's wrong?" Cesar had stopped his gentle stoking as he now stared at Rosalia, deep concern evident in his eyes. "Nothing, come on baby, I want you, why did you stop?" Did her voice seem a little anxious, or was that just me? Her eyes stared earnestly into Cesar's as she tried to tug his hands back onto her body. "No." He resisted, sitting up and disengaging himself from her completely. "Look, I know things have been a little tense between us lately, but darling, I love you. If anything is bothering you, you can tell me, please... trust me." "Oh Cesar! You're just being silly! There is nothing wrong, we were just about to have wonderful make up sex!" Her voice went sultry and seductive as she inched closer to him, biting her lip and caressing his abs, her hand trailing down to his still throbbing cock. He groaned in response, arching into her slightly as her fingers ran around his head, caressing him gently. "Come on baby, I know you want me." She started to ease him back on top of her, a small smile playing at her lips, but her eyes where peculiarly blank. "You know I want you." Cesar groaned like a man in hell. "I love you, I need you, I lust after you every second we're apart and every second we're together, you are my soul, you always have been." He pulled away. "Whether I want you, is not the issue, you..." he paused, a wounded look coming into his eyes "don't seem to want me." He shifted to the edge of the bed, where he put his head in his hands, an aura of defeat permeating his body. "Don't be silly baby, I love you, of course I want you!" Rosalia's words sounded hollow and her face showed only anger and frustration as she stared at Cesar's back. I couldn't understand it, was she mad? Cesar loved her and she didn't even seem to care for him, not even a little. What was going on? Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 07 He laughed in a self deprecating manner, his aura turning black with self loathing and regret as he got up and started to dress, his movements jerky and ungainly. "That would sound so much more convincing, my Rose," he paused, as his eyes closed with the pain of his emotions "if your body agreed with you." He turned on her, staring her straight in the eyes, his expression regretful, sincere and angry "You're never wet anymore Rose." His smile went crooked "You remember how you used to drench my fingers, howling your pleasure? Where did that go? Where did you go? You haven't been the same, ever since you came back." With one last regretful look at her naked body, Cesar turned around and walked out. "You bastard! Just you wait, you'll be sorry, you'll see!!!!" Rosalia, screeched at him, her voice getting higher and higher and higher, until the sound of smashing glass and wood drowned it out. Cesar closed the door gently and rested against it, a tear sliding softly down his cheek. I felt even more like a little intruder on this most private of moments, but it was a bit late to run now. I would just have to bite the bullet and hope that Cesar would forgive my unintentional nosiness. He still hadn't realized I was there, as his eyes were closed and his face haggard with worry. He gently ran his hands through his hair, before clipping it back into a smooth ponytail. I smiled nervously at him as he finally opened his eyes and saw me standing there in front of his door. I felt more than a little sheepish. "I'm really sorry Cesar, I didn't mean to pry, but you did tell me to come and get you and well... I'm sorry." I smiled apologetically at him, trying to gage his reaction as he stared at me blankly. "You know, these things don't last that long, not if the people in question truly love each other." I smiled again, trying to get through to him. He chuckled softly, before sighing in regret "That's the problem," he looked at me "I don't think she loves me anymore." 4 Like much in life, this was one of those situations you just can't handle. Whatever you do, you are doomed. There is no right solution, the universe never supplied one, no, these situations exist to make a horrid mess, to make you look like a fool and you just get no say in the matter. This situation was of the kind that they should offer classes on, the way they prep you for earthquakes, or fires, or other hazardous instances that are bound to knock a few years off of your life. These situations should come with a 'don't touch unless you're a flaming idiot' sign, but they rarely do. Instead they lie in wait, like little greedy spiders, and watch as you innocently walk right into them. Just like when you walk into a room and two friends of yours are arguing over a sweater, and its cuteness or trendiness or whatever, and they turn to you in the same instant and ask for your support. How do you deal with that? You can tell the truth, which usually runs to something along the lines of "I don't care, I don't like sweaters and if you want to wear something cute what about a dress?" or you can lie, which leaves you with the terrible choice. Which lie, which friend? One of them is going to be hurt, or most likely both, then they will probably band together to make your life miserable, all for the sake of a fucking sweater. If you're me, what you do is laugh, and tell them to get a room and not to get blood on the carpet. A coward's way out, but still mildly effective. But what on earth was I to do with Cesar looking at me like that? Desperate for me to say "Nah, I'm sure she really loves you man/dude/chum/whatever. She's just probably a little under the weather/stressed/worried." Which would be an out and out lie. Her aura had felt cold and indifferent when he was all over her and cold, indifferent and pissed off when he had left. Those reactions didn't seem to me to be those of a woman in love, but far be it for me to judge, I just didn't want to say anything obviously insincere. That was the last thing Cesar needed right now, another woman lying to him. "You'll find out soon enough, nobody can fake love, not for long." I stared at him in sympathy. I had no idea how much this must hurt him and I didn't even want to contemplate the idea of Ray just going off me in the future for no apparent reason. I shuddered at the idea of him looking at me with cold blank eyes, the way Rosalia had just looked at Cesar. "Anyway," I grabbed his arm in determination, "you promised me a tour, I'm not letting you get away with any cry baby excuses. You are my guide for the day buster and you better live up to my expectations!" He laughed, a little sadly, but I could see that he was determined to put the whole incident behind him for the time being. I smiled wistfully at him and slid my arm through his. "So, this looks like an interesting window, what does it do?" He chuckled again, this time more sincerely, as he stared at the little arched window I was pointing to. It was small and emanated an aura of neatness, with its diamond shaped panes all gleaming in the sunlight, it was perfectly normal, perfectly inconspicuous. It was also a portal. I hadn't noticed that at first, I had just pointed to something anything in our path, desperate as I was to change the subject. But, now that I looked at it, I wondered. It was definitely a portal, but a portal to what, not even my senses could tell me. I felt it rather curious that it was here of all places. Portals were usually built into the main hall, Halkara, for better access. Even the secret ones where usually ensconced somewhere in the great ballroom, a bit tricky to find if you didn't know where they were, but secret portals always had a way of being awkward. "This," Cesar claimed flamboyantly, tossing his arms about in wide expressive arcs, "is a perfect example of Neo-Impantine architecture decorated classically, as you can see, with straight lines and little decoration." His face took on a pompous air, as his hands crossed behind his back, his stance serious and Napoleonic. "The glass is very fine, blown by only the best of Impish masters in the famous glassworks of Hithle. Its pure simplicity and fine grainy structure rend it beautiful and the enormous number of ground spells make it unbreakable, impenetrable, incorruptible ect." "I see," I said smiling, I was glad that Cesar seemed determined to put darling-R behind him, but still a little puzzled over the window. "it's totally --able then, a fine specimen of a window, but, is it nothing else?" Cesar looked puzzled. "Like what?" "Oh, I don't know, a portal perhaps? A romantic place like this should have portals all over, don't you think?" I smiled innocently, trying not to give the game away, as far as Cesar knew, I was human, right? Cesar laughed joyfully and patted my shoulder, "Sorry to disappoint, but this is a perfectly normal 17th measure reinforced bespelled window. As I said before, impenetrable and impregranble." "How very unromantic!" I cried, turning away, "You had better have some portals stashed around here, how can you have a secret stronghold without them?" Things were definitely looking up on the suspicious meter, was the portal so important that Cesar didn't want to tell me about it? That could be the case, but surely I would be able to tell from his aura if he were lying... He was after all a very truthful sort of guy/paladin. Which could only mean that Cesar didn't know about it... Hmmm, it definitely was something that needed thinking about. "There are plenty of portals," he grinned "but for safety and conventions sake they are all in Halkara." "Darn," I pouted, "how mundane, why what is the point of having secret portals if everyone knows were they are?" Cesar threw his head back and let out a long laugh. "I think the builders of this place were a little lacking in imagination. Either that or they trusted each other." "Hmm" I mused, "that doesn't leave much room for intrigue, does it?" Cesar sighed softly "Unfortunately, since those long lost days trust has slowly disappeared and now we are all left wondering who our friends are and who our enemies. These are troubling times Lady Alice, but" he smiled "this need not concern you. Ray is more than capable of protecting those he loves." "I wish he loved me Cesar, but despite our mating I very much doubt that he can." Cesar gave me a sympathetic look. "Seems like we're in the same boat then huh, Lady Alice? " I grinned at him "Well, " I purred in a mock sultry tone "we had better make the best of it then, hadn't we? " I slipped my arm through his, lifted our joined hands up high and bellowed out "Lead on MacDuff! " Cesar was an absolutely impeccable tour guide, he was funny, entertaining, full of minute information, he didn't go too slow, he didn't go too fast and yet all I could think of was Mr. Tall-Handsome-and-Extremely-Grumpy. Silly that one little man, oops paladin, should have me so wrapped around his finger. It wasn't even funny, but there was nothing I could do about it. This wasn't a question of de-tox, I was too far gone for that; therapy was out too, in fact I was totally sunk, not that I had a problem with that any more. It was just that I preferred being totally sunk, when he was in my bed making me purr, not out of it sulking. I sighed making Cesar look at me with understanding. I was sorry that my heart just wasn't into the lovely things that he was showing me, but it just wasn't. "You know, " he stated in a conversational tone, his pace taking on more of an ambling quality, "I think there is something that will get your attention, and possibly, " he smirked at me "keep it. " I looked at him questioningly, he had piqued my curiosity and thankfully it was still very much alive. My eyebrow rose. "Oh? " I asked. "And what pray would that be? " I lifted the other eyebrow, practising my hautiest air. Cesar just chuckled evilly, smirked at me once more and said "Oh you'll see soon enough my Lady, soon enough. " And then he walked me round the corner and any clever response that had been taking form in my mind was cut dead, in fact all thoughts were cut dead and I just stood and stared with my mouth hanging open. Cesar stared too. We looked like twins, I don't think that two peoples jaws could have fallen any lower than ours. For what we were looking at seemed to be so completely outrageous, impossible, improbable and just plain wrong that we wondered whether we were dreaming or just looking at a very good hologram. "Shit. " Cursed Cesar softly, trying to attach his lower jaw back into his face. "Oh, God. " I groaned, "Tell me he's faking! " I felt my shock pass and give way to a rising tide of panic. All my organs clenched with the agony of it and I wondered if this were another way to die. "I really don't think so Alice, something is wrong, very very wrong. " Cesar had lost all and any colour and was now a pasty yellowish, greenish, bloodless colour. I thought that I was going to puke. Then instinct took over and I rushed forward, barely feeling Cesar's arms as they came out to detain me. I tore myself from his grip and launched myself to the rescue of one very stupid paladin. My heart was pounding, my senses screaming, my brain sobbing as I ran, desperate to save the man that I loved. That idiot, that my whole life revolved around, appeared to be letting some shmuck beat the living shit out of him and was just standing still under his opponent's onslaught. I could see bruises turning black on his skin, blood pouring forth from deep trench like wounds, his face swollen, his clothes in taters; my paladin was one sorry mess. But what was worse, what was terrible, what was beyond contemplation was that my paladin was not even trying to fight back. It was obviously a practice spar and he just wasn't even attempting to lift his sword or do anything to prevent his opponent from just slicing into him. It was the most horrifying thing I had ever seen and I knew that I would have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. I cannoned into his opponent, some youth with a stupid sword and absolutely no skill, well, not enough to stop me. And then the smell of my mate's blood hit my nostrils and I just went completely mad. I started to carve up the young paladin, not going instantly in for the kill, toying with him first. He had brought pain and suffering onto my beautiful mate, now I was going to make him pay. Nobody treated my mate like that; nobody hurt him like that. Nobody who wanted to survive anyway. I felt the bloodlust rise in me like a tide, a red shimmer filming over my eyes and I could feel a thirsty anticipation forming in my gut. I wanted to spill this pup's blood, I wanted to look into his eyes as he saw death coming for him, I wanted him to suffer beyond all suffering. And I would take pleasure in each and every second of his pain. I beat him up good, watching his skin bruise and puff. Then I tore strips of his skin off, only little ones at first, then larger and larger until I was taking whole chunks out of him. Now I would move in for the kill. Now he would go and meet his maker, sizzle in hell for what he had done, he would never hurt anyone ever again. My hand reached for his throat ready to tear it out when I was pulled back and my arms held behind me in an all powerful embrace. I went wild, I thrashed, I kicked, I screamed, I gnashed my teeth until they broke and I fought and fought and fought, but could not break that hold. It was steely in its resolve and held me firm until some of the bloodlust had receded and I was panting with the exertion of my efforts. I had failed. "Whoa, my little she-cat, my little kitten. Calm down, love. " His soft breath tickled my ear as he chuckled softly "Save your passion for our bed. " I gasped as he licked my ear and nibbled on my neck, my anger smouldering into passion faster than I could blink. My paladin was the one holding me and I had never felt so mastered in my life. Only he could stop me, only he could deny me and only he could love me the way I needed to be loved. He was mine, he was perfect, and the knowledge almost broke my heart. "I would, but you won't stay in my bed. " I whined pitifully, gasping softly under his assault. "My bad kitten, looks like I'll have to exercise you more thoroughly in future, can't let you loose on my companions like this. You're a hazard to genteel living. I've never seen a woman behave in so bloodthirsty a manner." To my surprise his tone was amused and if anything proud. I wondered at his attitude. I didn't think somehow that this would be a normal reaction to a rampaging bloodthirsty woman, ready to tear the tendons out of anybody and everybody. I must have looked like a madwoman going for that boy the way I did. I should have known better. I should have known that Ray would only stand still in a fight if he wanted to. He hadn't needed me to protect him after all. I deflated completely at that realisation. I felt myself go limp and all my energy drained away and the only feelings I had left were those of despair, so I let myself slide into the forgiving black embrace of nothingness. Sometimes nothing is just better. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 08 CAUTION: This is a completely unbelievable, profane, fantasy romp. All characters are unfortunately fictional, as are all the events. Hopefully this chapter will start to clear a few of the mysteries up, I know it's not making much sense right now, but I swear I have a plan! (a cunning plan!) *Author's deep bow of appreciation: I would just like to say thank you for all the comments I've been getting, I find it spurs me on when my own attempts at self flagellation fail. So as always, strap yourselves in, get ready for takeoff, and please enjoy! 1 Like much in my life, my new one that is, this was definitely a new experience. Actually everything about the day before was a new experience. I could confidently put my hand on my heart and swear that it was all brand, spanking, new. Not that I had liked any of it, except for the final part with Ray holding me, but hey, new was different so I wasn't about to knock it. Which was also new. I did not feel like complaining, I did not feel like bemoaning my fate, I did not feel like being miserable, despite how I had conked it the day before. In fact, I was feeling perfectly myself, which definitely if I was in any way bothered enough to think about it, did not compute. I wasn't even mildly rabid or angry or spewing emotions like fear and hate and bloodlust. Instead I just floated on my own private fluffy cloud. It was quite nice actually, but if I thought about it, when had I ever been this calm? No seriously. Did Ray dart me with a tranquiliser while I was sleeping? Now that would be like much in my life. I could totally cast me as the girl that has a huge gorgeous man more interested in stabbing her naked arse with a big needle, just to make sure she's asleep and stays that way, than in well, anything more interesting. In fact the picture sprang with a little too much ease to mind. It made a horrid kind of gelid sense with the image of myself as I had been before Ray had slung me over his shoulder and brought me right bang slap into his life. Though to give credit to the changing events, my new and improved current image said, no way, I was now Ray's mate and if Ray had stabbed me, well I could stab him right back. Maybe... Perhaps... Oh all right, I was too content and calm to stab him. I sighed softly at my completely limp noodle approach to men. Well.. one man.. well.. one paladin. I murmured softly and snuggled a little bit more firmly into him, quite content with my noodleness. It was quite hard trying to get all the goo out of the way, but I finally did it and our bodies melded together blissfully. I started to drift off again, completely sidetracked, busy contemplating the perfection of my paladin's biceps and other parts when the murmuring started. "How much longer Doctor? " the voice sounded impatient "The Matriarch has summoned them. They must attend her the soonest possible. I don't know if you've realised how critical this situation actually is! " "Peace Little Lila, I can do nothing, the Introspek Med. Vortex allows the patients to recover according to the absolute pace that their metabolisms require. No faster and no slower. " "You have to give me a time line! Something! " the voice had turned from snotty to desperate. "What am I going to tell her Holiness? How can you send me back to her to tell her that she has to wait on their pleasure? " her voice had turned young and very very pleading, a far cry from the snooty official tone she had first employed. "Lila, I just don't know. " Janus sighed, "their mating is different, we've only seen telio-contiogen-interchange bonds a handful of times. All I know is that they are progressing through the exchange much faster than anyone ever has. They are swapping emotions, characteristics, tendencies and reactions so fast that they cannot process them properly. And while the phenomenon itself has proved beyond doubt that Alice is not human, I don't know what she is, and that leaves me as much in the dark as anyone else. Just be grateful that we have the I.M.V. to help smooth the transition. Before its invention chances of surviving the bonding were only 15%." Janus sighed again, worry penetrating his tone. I wondered idly how high the chances of survival were with the I.M.V. "They'll be all right, won't they Janus? " Lila whispered, her voice sounding young and scared. "Well, they're both strong, but I don't know if their spirits match. Ray is a black paladin, his strength exceeds that of most beings, if he outweighs her even slightly they'll both die. The partners have to be a perfect match in everything, even strength, or the bond destroys one; and if the other doesn't die from the shock they soon die from grief. " Lila gasped. " I didn't know... " she choked out. "I thought they would just stay in I.M.V for a few hours and that would be it. What am I going to tell her Holiness? Oh, Janus, I can't believe that they might die! I just can't! " "Lila, I know you've admired Ray for some time, but you have to be brave. " his voice turned husky with longing "Alice and Ray love each other greatly, I'm sure they'll be just fine... please, make sure that you are too. " "I have to go back to her Holiness, " whispered Lila "and give her the news. I'm sure they'll both be fine, " her voice hitched as it raised in mock cheerfulness "after all, they have such a wonderful doctor! " I could hear her hasty footsteps as she left and wondered at the little exchange. Her Holiness huh? And what was that between Janus and Lila? Well, the outside world would have to wait, I was still drifting on my cloud and I had absolutely no urge to get off of it any time soon. I wondered how long Ray was going to sleep and then smiled as I turned myself even more tightly into his body. I didn't mind how long he slept as long as I got to cuddle with him like this. As the day wore on Ray lay still as a stone, but I drifted in and out, never really breaking the barrier into wakefulness, but sometimes aware of the outside world. We got a lot of visitors. It turned out that both Ray and I were popular. Everyone wished us well and they were all worried. I couldn't understand it really, I felt fine, so did Ray, but it warmed my heart to know that we had been accepted as a couple so completely. It made me feel all pink and fuzzy inside as I lay there listening and I hoped that in some way Ray could hear too. It would do my paladin good to know how much he was loved and respected by the people of Angel's Peak. When next I rose out of deep oblivion I realised that Ray was finally awake. I smiled in pleasure as my heart thumped sluggishly, my low level of enthusiasm a bit weird, but I couldn't bring myself to mind. "Hey you. " he whispered, his mouth nudging my ear, "I know you're awake little cat and I thoroughly intend to take advantage of it. " My smile broadened and I stretched my body slightly, I waited for the rush of excitement that his words would ignite in my body, but nothing came. I frowned. Something was definitely up. Despite both of our intentions neither my paladin nor I were in any way aroused. Just content, fuzzy and very very level. I tried to make myself panic, like I usually would, but the emotion required just refused to surface. I started to wonder if those intense feelings that had dominated me from the minute I had met Ray were finally starting to dissipate. I wondered if my love was a sham and that finally my dream was starting to unravel at the seams. I knew that the idea should have me howling in pain, but I couldn't seem to shake the wooliness from my thoughts, nor the feeling of calibrated contentment. I started to realise that my emotions had remained the same ever since my fainting spell. Could I be ill? Did I contaminate Ray? While I struggled to think and to analyse the situation I could feel sleep creep back upon me and my mind start to fog over. I appeared to have no control over my mind or my emotions, I was completely lost, and a deep slow desperation dug its way into the fog. What had seemed relaxing before now seemed like some B rated nightmare. A half strangled sob escaped me as I sunk back down into oblivion. This time sleep only got three minutes on me, because then I woke up. I stared up into Ray's face and felt the sweet sting of relief as all my emotions flooded back into a brain that was getting increasingly alert. It felt so good I could only gasp. The foggy emptiness receded and I felt as if my entire being was stretching after a very long stay in a cramped box. I didn't know what was going on, but I was glad that the calmness was over. I could feel again and I smiled as all of the lovely emotions seething inside of me settled into a nice conglomeration. I had never been so glad or so grateful to be an emotionally unbalanced seething wreck of a lovelorn fool. I grined manickly, it felt great! "Sorry the I.M.V made you panic little cat, but considering everything, I guess Janus had a point. We were both mixing to the --enth degree. " he grinned at me. My grin widened as I stared deeply into his wonderful eyes, not really bothering with the fact that I couldn't understand what he was on about. He chuckled at me and then lent in for a swift kiss. As our lips touched the impact shivered all the way down my spine and suddenly what was going on was the last thing on my mind. The relief was so great that I threw myself into that soft touch and sank gratefully into his embrace, my body moulding itself to his, the electrifying touch confirming once more how nuts I was about him. The quick kiss lingered a little and I heard my paladin groan softly before he lifted his head. My heart pounded an erratic tattoo as I saw the desire lurking in his deep dark eyes and I couldn't help but lick my lips in anticipation. He sighed as he eyed my lips hungrily. "Alice... " he leaned in slightly his eyes still glued to my mouth, I licked my bottom lip again hoping rather desperately that he would lean in still further, "I need to explain what's going on... " my eyes closed as I felt his breath on me, "it's important. " he gasped before giving in and kissing me. The fire was definately still there. As his lips teased mine, sliding backwards and forwards, and my body melted into a molten pool of desire, I knew for sure. However hard things were or would get, whatever I would have to face or to suffer because of my love for Ray, it was worth it. He was the axis to my life and I would not give him up, not for anything. I felt him smile against my lips as he nibbled delicately at them, his breath mingling with mine, his tongue taking swift teasing swipes making me gasp with the need for more. "Say it. " I frowned as his lips evaded mine, his mouth trailing teasing kisses like firebrands up and down my face. "What? " I grumbled, not greatly pleased that he wanted to talk. "What you're thinking. " I gave a little high pitched cry as he latched on to my earlobe and started to suck softly. My back arched as I rubbed my breasts into his chest, my hands curling round his strong arms. My mind was going to mush as the demands of my body grew into a fever pitch and he wanted to talk? Really? His teeth nipped my neck as he proceeded to suck and lick and nibble his way down. My eyes closed as I whimpered softly, wanting him to hurry up. Didn't he know I was burning to ash under his slow, tender caresses? "Yes, " his fingers softly caressed my breasts over my clothes, his soft touch going round the sides, under, over, lifting, caressing, touching as I squirmed in agony, my nipples spiked, my chest on fire. This was torture, he was torturing me, every sweet caress titillating, urging my body on, till my juices pooled hot and heavy, my legs parting, my neck arching. I was so ready to be taken and every minute that Ray held off was killing me. He bit my collar bone and then laved the red mark with his hot tongue, "I'm burning too, little cat, " his hand stroked down my body until it grasped my thigh bringing my leg up as he settled between my legs. I gave a sharp cry, my hands going round and down his back to clutch at him, my mouth latching onto his neck as my hips undulated against his hard cock. I felt the deep shudder that wracked his body and I felt triumph lance through me, he was going to fuck me, and god how I wanted him to. "No, " he gasped, his hands still teasing my flesh, trailing soft patterns up and down my thighs. "I need to hear it. " "What? " I cried, franticly tugging at him, trying to get his clothes off. "What you're thinking. " he gasped sliding my low cut top over my breasts, his mouth pressing teasing kisses on the sensitive skin he was uncovering. I scratched his back impatiently, he knew what I was thinking! I was practically a puddle of raging desire! Scratch that, I was a puddle of raging desire! "I want you. " I whimpered, a petulant whine creeping into my voice, I didn't want to talk! I wanted him to rip that damnable blouse off of me, I wanted him to bite me, fuck me, pound me, I wanted him to take me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk straight afterwards. And then, then I would want him to do it all over again. His hips jerked violently, grinding his cloth covered hard on exactly where I needed him most, but his fingers still remained gentle as he tugged at the lace of my slutty bra. "Soon, " he gasped "but I need you to say it. " He lifted his head, his eyes boring into mine, his lust clear to see as he stared into my soul. I whimpered as I stared deep into his eyes. I didn't know what he wanted, I knew what I wanted, but what did he want? I stared into those depths and then as if a cloud had been lifted I felt that golden connection arc between us and I could see. I could see everything about him, his mind, his emotions, his memories, I could see our two souls now melded and meshed so closely together that we were not distinguishable separately. I felt a slight shock as I stared at the melded golden and silver. Where there had been two fiery balls, our two souls, mine golden and his silver, now there was one. We were meshed together beyond all release, were before we had been connected by one strand, now we were completely one, all of our strands intertwining tightly. I was still me, but I was also beyond that, I was also him. And through our deep bond I could feel all that he felt, see all that he could see and all at once I knew. "I love you, " I whispered staring deep into his eyes willing him to read the truth in mine. "You are my anchor, my world, my love, Ray I love you. " I saw him shudder as his eyes closed and deep relief saturated his being. I could feel how insecure he was, how afraid he was that I would leave him, that I would choose someone else. I smiled softly in sympathy, I knew what it felt like to doubt one's lover, to fear so badly that he would leave me for someone else. I had never truly believed that Ray was mine and every time we connected I had feared even more greatly that it was just a dream. "You are my soul, my love, my life, " I kissed his nose softly and then giggled "I can even have it tattooed on my arse if you like! " the image of his name scrawled across my but in big bold letters made me chuckle. He sighed in exasperation and swiftly slid his hand up my skirt to the apex of my thighs and grasped my clit firmly but gently between his fingers. The soft rolling motion he caressed me with had my hips jerking violently as I mewled in desperation. "I fail to see the humour in this, little cat." he murmured in my ear, his fingers still playing their devastating tune upon my sensitive little numb. "In fact," he nipped the side of my neck "you better know who you belong to, " his breath hitched slightly in excitement "who you love, or else... " He had me desperate again, my body crying out for his, my cunt throbbing, my whole being solely focused on what he was doing to me, but I still had to push him that little bit further. I wanted him to lose all control, I wanted him to surrender to me and the demands of our mutual lust. "Or else what? " I gasped, undulating my hips, lifting both my legs to cradle his hips and sliding my hand down to grasp him firmly. I watched him jerk frantically as my fist caressed his hard length and I felt a deep surge of female satisfaction as he started to tremble under the touch of my fingers. He got violent as he thrust my hand away, his control slipping as he ripped open his trousers and sheathed his cock deep into my hungry puss. The deep slide of his cock in me sent my hips bucking once more as we both gasped raggedly at the overpowering pleasure of our joining. He panted roughly as he pistoned into me once more, his lips seeking the tips of my breasts, his hands firmly clutching my hips. I felt my brain fog over with desire as my orgasm started to crash over me, its soft rolling waves washing me away into a desperate sea of passion. I screamed his name, his teeth biting deeply into my shoulder as he pounded me harder and harder, flaming us both in all consuming pleasure. As my body shook and shuddered, my arms and legs wrapped tightly round him all I could do was scream and chant his name as my body worshiped his. "Ra-y! Oh-hh-h RAY! " I screamed, my cunt throbbing rhythmically, my final peak holding off, waiting for his pulsing seed to fill me up and send me over the edge. I felt him tear his teeth from my shoulder as he whispered the most beautiful words I had ever heard. "I love you Alice. Oh, Ali-C-E! " Our lips locked as we came simultaneously, my orgasm enveloping me as I felt the warmth of his seed settle firmly in my womb. The pleasure of our joining was beyond imagining for we were now truly joined as one. As our hearts calmed and our breathing slowed, our lips and bodies stayed locked together, his mouth softly caressing mine as we basked in the afterglow of our torrid lovemaking. The feeling of him so deep within me and the memory of what we had just done made me so ready for more I ached, badly, and the embarrassment of it made me turn away. I felt his lips trail softly down my face, caressing me gently, wetly, hotly. My ignition was instantaneous and my face flamed as I felt my pussy start to throb around him with a renewed hunger. "I want to fuck you again, " he gasped in my ear, his hips already thrusting "I want to hear you scream as you come on my cock. " he slipped his hand down to my clit and started to massage it gently as he thrust softly into me, his mouth whispering hot wicked words into my ear. "I want to fill you to the brim with my seed, suck every sweet inch of you, fuck, little cat I'm so hard for you... I want all of you, I want to fuck your mouth, your beautiful wet pus, " he jerked inside me, his cock throbbing hot and deep as his thoughts filled my mind with graphic images "I want to fuck myself deep into your soft buttocks, I want you, I want to brand you, spread my cum all over your body... I want to possess you. " I cried out in passion as his words and thoughts clashed through my mind. I wanted him so badly I could hardly believe it. Our lovemaking had only ignited my need for him, not sated it and I wondered if it would ever be enough, if I would ever tire of having him. "Never, " he grinned evilly "you're mine now baby, my little slut and your pussy hungers for my cock. " he lifted himself up, thrusting heavily into me, pounding his cock deep into my hungry cunt, his eyes deep black pools watching me as I came undone my pussy creaming on his cock. My back arched as I came, my head thrown back as I screamed his name again and again and again. "Ray!!!!! Ah-hhh-hhh!!! R-A-Y!!! " He laughed in elation as he watched me, smugness radiating of off him, I could feel his joy and his possessiveness as he thrust deeply into me. "Open your eyes little cat, look at me. " Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 08 I struggled to do as he said, my eyes heavy lidded with passion, my limbs leaden after my last orgasm. I stared at his beloved face as he towered over me, his wings unfolded in black waves, his mouth spread wide in a wicked grin. His cock was still hard and throbbing inside me and I wondered what my black paladin was going to do to me next. "I'm going to bend you over, little pussy cat, and I'm going to tie you up, " he chuckled wickedly as he saw my eyes widen "and then I'm going to plunge my cock into that sweet sweet ass of yours till you scream my name. " I gasped in shock, horrified that he had somehow guessed my deepest, darkest and most feared desire. He leaned towards me and kissed me softly on the lips. "I don't need to guess baby, I can see all of you, and I'm not letting us out of here until I fulfil every slutty, hot desire you harbour deep in your soul. " "But, but, Ray! " I gasped, wide eyed, "you can't! " He just laughed again, and in one swift motion he flipped me over, bringing me to my knees, forcing my chest and head down onto the floor with one of his big powerful hands. Despite my fear at what he was about to do, I felt desire and anticipation bubble inside me, I couldn't quite believe it but my body was definitely ready for more! He shredded my skirt baring my buttocks to his gaze and tied my hands behind my back, using my now ruined skirt, and then as I lay there quivering juices flowing down my thighs, he just stared at me. I could feel his hot gaze running up and down my bound form, his eyes lingering hotly on my spread ass cheeks and my wide open pussy. I could feel his deep admiration of my white skin and the red of my inflamed cunt. My face coloured too, as I shared in his lascivious admiration of my naked flesh and his thoughts as to what he wanted to do to me. Anticipation built up inside me as I waited, breathless, for him to start. I expected him to be rough, violent, to take me as I writhed upon the floor, but when his touch came it was gentle and devastatingly tender. His fingers whispered up the side of my buttocks, his breath hissing between his teeth, his control rock solid as he teased my eager flesh. I shuddered in response, trying hard not to moan, my embarrassment mounting at my enthusiastic reaction to his soft caresses. His fingers started to massage my flesh, pulling my ass cheeks wide so that he could stare at my rosebud and then pushing them together. I gasped and groaned under him, my arse starting to shake and quiver under his hands, my flesh getting hotter and hotter. "That's it baby, let yourself go, god you're so beautiful, you make me ache to burry myself to the hilt in your sweet depths. " His index finger softly caressed my bud, making me shudder and moan, I felt his body bend over mine, the tip of his hot cock touching my thighs, as his mouth caressed my shoulder. "Oh Ray! " I gasped, my mind fogged over with pleasure. My body trembling under his hands as I felt his large warm finger pressing into me, opening me up, making me accept him utterly. My cheeks parted under his soft stimulation, my walls aching and shuddering as he pressed deep within me. His breath blew hot within my ear as he listened eagerly to my moans of pleasure, his hot words egging me on to further abandon. "Moan for me baby... " he urged, his cock thrusting between my thighs teasing my slit as his fingers delved deeper into virgin territory. He started to bite my neck, his teeth getting sharper as our passions climbed, his fingers gathering my honey and spreading it deeply into the crease of my ass. "Mm-mmm, oh, Ray! " His fingers twisted inside me, brushing my pleasure spot, making my hips sway and my insides clench with need. "What is it baby girl? Isn't this enough? " he chuckled thrusting his fingers faster and faster, the soft squelching sounds of his penetration getting louder, as he plundered me. My head rested limply upon my folded arms as I thrust my arse as high into the air as possible, shaking and shuddering with each thrust of his fingers within me, my body trembling on the brink of another orgasm as I lost myself in the heat of Ray's lovemaking. I could feel his hard cock and all I wanted was to have it in me once again, thrusting deep, taking us both to the heavens. I wanted to reach completion with Ray by my side, deep in my body, our souls touching as he came deep within me. I needed that connection, I needed to belong to him. "Then say it. " He whispered once more, his tongue trailing hotly up and down my neck, stopping to nip delicately at my shoulder where I ached for his bite. I felt him remove his fingers and gently place the tip of his hot hardness at my eager opening. I thought I would die, just the feel of his hot tip made me cream and tremble, as my excitement climbed higher and higher. "Take me, please Ray, please! I can't stand it! I want you so much, " I sobbed trying desperately to back onto his throbbing shaft. "I belong to you, please, fuck me, cum in me, I want to be filled to the brim with you! " I felt a shudder rip through him and his hips jerked burying him deep, the pleasure coursing through us, between us, as I felt our orgasms sweep through us Ray howling savagely before sinking his teeth once more into my shoulder. As his mouth drew on my blood I felt my orgasm crash, sending my senses reeling, my breath coming in rapid gasps. It felt criminally good as his cock pounded into me over and over and over, each thrust branding me as his, my hips trembling under his assault, the pain in my shoulder mixing sweetly with the fire his feeding kindled in me. I was lost in a storm of ecstasy, my cries impassioned and animalistic, my whole being concentrated on Ray, the hotness of his cock as he violated me and the intimacy of his deep bite. We were so involved in each other that neither of us heard the door opening or the shocked gasps that followed or the slamming of the door. The pounding that then ensued felt like the pounding of our blood, the screams our own as we gave voice to the pleasure sweeping through our bodies. It was incredible and completely amazing and as my orgasm receded all I could think about was what Ray would do to me next. "You know, " he murmured huskily into my ear, his cock still pulsing deep inside of me. "What? " I mumbled sleepily, happily wondering how soon it would be till I could suck him deep into my mouth. I really wanted to savour his taste, and despite how bone tired I was, my mouth still watered in anticipation. "Little cat... baby... don't. Let me enjoy holding you before you get me all worked up again with your slutty thoughts. " He gasped nibbling my ear. "Besides, " he said regretfully, "I think we're wanted. " "Hmm? " I asked already drifting off to sleep. My body relaxed under his. "Yeah, I could have sworn I heard someone shouting our names. " He said, lazily trailing his fingers along my skin. Nah. I thought, no way could we have heard anything, considering the amount of noise we were making. I wondered if I could make my paladin howl as I sucked him. "Even so, " he said, trying to stop himself from getting hard again "I could have sworn that I heard something. Maybe we should go see, you never know. " I grumbled softly under my breath as he tried to disentwine himself from my body. I was not going to let him go so easily. I tightened my body around him, making him curse as his cock quivered at the stimulation, and then I eased my hand back grasping his hips and rocking me to him. I felt him shudder at the feel of my body caressing him and I smiled triumphantly. My black paladin was going nowhere, not for a long time. I turned my head and softly nibbled at his jaw line before travelling up to his lips. I saw his mouth part in invitation and I was just about to sweep my tongue in when Janus interrupted, again. "Have you two finished turning my lab into a brothel yet? " he thundered, amusement colouring his tone. "Or have you not quite run out of bodily fluids? " I was just about to snap at him when I felt the presence of other people behind the door. He was not alone. It looked like he had brought all the king's horses and all the king's men, just to get us out of bed. I didn't appreciate his timing. "I don't either little cat, " whispered Ray, "but we are taking up the medical facilities. " "It's for a good cause. " I grumbled, reluctantly getting up, sad as I felt him slip out. I stared down at my body scantily clad by several tatters of my former clothing. I sighed, I was going to have to do something about that. "I think you look enchanting, " grinned Ray, eyeing me lasciviously. "Don't start something you can't finish. " I teased starting to call a new set of clothes up. This time I chose a more practical outfit, long trousers and a shirt, but underneath I dressed for Ray. I wore a lacy green set with suspender belt and stockings. I knew how much Ray loved stockings, so I put little emerald bows on the sides to go with the bows tying my scanty thong together. I didn't look at Ray as I started to dress, making as much of a production out of it as I could, trying to enflame him as I slid on each sultry peace. "Enflame, " he murmured, walking towards me slowly "do you think it's fun to taunt me like this? " "Taunt? " I asked innocently as I finished buttoning up my blouse, keeping my eyes demurely away from his hardening cock. I felt my heart flutter at the wanting in his voice, but as I couldn't have him quite yet, I was determined to make us both suffer. I busied myself with the tying back of my hair and continued to ignore him. "Baby, " he sighed, "all it takes is one look and I'm dying from wanting you. " he grasped my arms softly as he bent his head and nibbled on my rapidly healing shoulder. I tilted my head, sweeping my hair out of the way giving him better access, as I gasped in pleasure. I loved the feel of his lips on me and I purred in delight as I felt him lick me delicately with his tongue. My head filled with steamy fantasies of our bodies once more entwined and I wondered how long it would be until I could get him alone in the vicinity of a bed. His hands slid down to grasp my hips and he ground his cock roughly into me. "Soon, little cat, " he groaned, " very soon. And then I'm not holding back. " I shuddered softly at the promise in his words, my panties already soaked and my mind heaving with dirty fantasies. I let Ray watch as he and I made love again, my head buried between his legs my mouth full of him as he strained, head thrashing from side to side, against his bonds. Just the idea of him tied and at my mercy was enough to make melt into a little puddle of devious desires. Ray ground himself more firmly against me, his hands travelling up to my breasts where he squeezed and pinched my nipples through my clothes. "God, you're a dirty little slut, " he gasped twisting my nipples savagely "you've got me so hot I could come in my pants... " "No! " I whimpered already lost to the pleasure of his hands on my body "You must come, ah! " I arched into his hands as his caresses became rougher and more demanding "In my mouth! " I could feel the effect of my words upon him as his teeth sharpened against my shoulder and I knew we were seconds away from a hard hot fucking on the lab floor. "Ready or not here I come! " Came Janus's gleeful voice as he opened the door and marched in, a flood of people hot on his heels. I snarled, the man had impeccably dreadful timing. My eyes narrowed as I stared at him, his lips tilted into an arrogant smirk. I swore then and there that if he was ever mid fuck it would be me with that smirk all over my face. I heard Ray chuckle at my thoughts of retribution, his hands smoothing our clothes down as he faced his friend. "Well, " grinned Janus " I suppose we should all be grateful they're wearing clothes! " "I'm not grateful, " murmured Ray before stepping from behind me to face his friend "what can we do for you old chap? " "Now, now, Ray, " grinned Janus "don't you mean what can I do for you? You should still be in the I.M.V. you're a very naughty boy. " Ray sighed, his hand going round my waist as he hugged me to him, "She panicked, I had to get her out. She didn't understand what was going on, the I.M.V can be pretty scary, especially the first time. " I snuggled my way into him as I stared past Janus at the people that stood there. I didn't recognise any of them and my face flushed at the idea that they had all seen us, um, involved. There were four of them and they all seemed to be staring intently at me and Ray, two were soldiers and they both looked as if they expected me to start belching flames before going bezerk. I guess they had a point, I had been behaving rather radically lately, but I just couldn't seem to help myself. "Uh, Janus? " I said, as the new arrivals eyeballed me, "Who are your friends? " "Oh, sorry, right introductions everyone. This is Lila Merdev, golden orb order, and secretary to our High Priestess, and this is Maeya my second in command and Ivor and Morgan Celkn temple guards. Everyone may I introduce you to Lady Alice, soon to be Princess Higher and mate of Prince Raybourn the Protector. " Uhh, I thought, I really didn't want to know what any of that meant, for I had a nasty feeling that my Ray was going to come with more baggage than a teenage beauty queen. Ray chuckled softly, his amusement echoing in my head as he squeezed me more firmly. The only thing he seemed to be worried about was getting me alone again, not that I minded, I just had a feeling that there were some things that I really needed to know. Janus was smirking at me and my gut feeling got rather queasy as I stared at the good doctor. Considering his propensity for delighting in bad humour I had a feeling his glee in the anticipation of what was coming next was not boding well. "Now, you've both been summoned by her most excellent Highness, so, I'll have to see you both later. I would suggest Ray that you give her a run down on the key rules of the TCB stuff before either of you get into any more trouble. Not that I mind patching you both up. " he beamed at us, and as Ray and I walked forward following Lila and her two guards, he whispered "You should have told me you know. " and then he winked. What was that about? I felt for Ray and asked him, not wanting to voice anything out loud, especially as things were getting just a little weird again. I was definitely feeling uncomfortable. Ray smiled at my uneasiness, according to him, Janus was just pulling my leg. And then he started to fill me in on the TCB, or telio-contegen-bond, and the I.M.V. introspek med vortex. Turns out that a small percentage, a very small percentage, of mated couples ever got TCB syndrome. Nobody knew what it really was or what triggered it, but it meant that the couple in question would be merged for life and would be able to share anything, even abilities. There was a drawback, there was no getting out of the TCB and sometimes the bond was instigated but the partners would be unequal in strength, which meant that they would both die. In other cases, like ours, the couple would have trouble assimilating the other's characteristics. So, whilst Ray had had a whole lifetime to learn to control his savage cut-throat impulses, I hadn't, and whilst I was quite good at controlling my over the top passivity (a classic Tashhates Zotis problem) and was capable of over-riding it, it just paralysed Ray. Not surprisingly therefore that I was ripping people to shreds and Ray was unable to say boo to a goose. Ray assured me that Janus believed that our problems would settle down once the bond was fully established, which left the question open, where we still in danger? Could either Ray or I kick the bucket, any minute now? Ray's whole body shook as he tried not to laugh at my silliness. I only just restrained myself from hitting him on the head. It wasn't funny. His hand round my waist reassured me, he just felt so big and strong, it was hard to think that anything bad could happen when he was right there. Ray kissed the top of my head softly, his thoughts going lovey dovey as he pictured all the things he was going to do to me. I sighed, however much I wanted to lose myself in Ray, it just wasn't the moment. I didn't want to do it, but, I had to tell him. I felt Ray grow serious as he felt my anxiety peak. So I told him about the Tashhates Zotis thing. "What? " he bellowed, his voice shaking the foundations as he stopped in his tracks to stare at me. If I hadn't been so scared of his reaction I would have found the whole things ridiculously funny. For my paladin's eyes bulged as he stared at me, a mythical creature, his mouth hanging open and our companions crowding round us with puzzled expressions on their faces. I just smiled softly at him, letting the information sink in. "For real, little cat? " well, I sighed in relief, he didn't seem angry. That was a good thing, right? "Fraid so, " I said, trying to get into his head, see what he was thinking. I tried not to feel hurt when I found his barriers up, after all it was quite a shock finding out your mate is a mythical being, but on the other hand isn't that what had happened to me? "It's different... " he muttered, still looking at me with disbelief in his eyes. "Um, my Prince, is anything the matter? " asked Lila, who had so far been a very silent companion. Ray and I ignored her as we stared in silence at each other. Today was going to be a day for surprises. "Everything's fine Merdev. " said Ray, his voice curt, his hand sliding once more round my waist, he promised we would talk about it later. I sighed with regret, there went our lovemaking session, it was enough to make me feel depressed. So I went the whole hog and told him everything. "WHAT? " this time I was surprised the whole building didn't fall down. "How stupid can you be? " he roared, his eyes wild as he grasped me by the shoulders and shook me. I stared glumly back at him, my head wobbling on my shoulders as he continued to shake me violently. "Are you mad? " I felt my depression digging a big hole in which to bury me. "Insane? " I felt ready to start crying, I mean I know murder is not a good thing, but wasn't he over reacting? "You complete IDIOT! What were you thinking! He was armed! He might have killed you! What made you take him on, do you want to be the death of me? How could you Alice? " he gave me a very violent shake before enfolding me in his arms, I started to sob, it was just too much for me. I buried my face in his chest as I felt us both tremble, my tears running down my face, as he stroked my head. I could feel the confusion and fear that radiated off our escort, but I couldn't have cared less, all that mattered was Ray and whether he would ever forgive me. "That depends, " he choked, "promise me you'll never do anything so stupid ever again, I want to hear you say that if you are ever in a dangerous situation ever again you will bolt, run away, hide and do everything in your power not to get hurt. " I sniffed miserably. "Promise me Alice! " I nodded, "I didn't mean to get into a dangerous situation, " I whimpered. "I don't care! " He shook me again. "Promise me! " "But, " I mumbled, "I'm really strong, you don't have anything to worry about, " well except for the fact that his lover was a murderer. "ALICE! " he sounded exasperated, his hands lifting my chin so that he could look me in the eyes, "I don't care if you're superwoman, you see danger, you go and hide, understand? " "Yes. " I whispered. I was utterly wretched and all I wanted was for Ray to carry me off and make love to me. I wanted to feel him close, I wanted him to tell me he love me, I wanted him to fuck me. Like Much In (My) Life Ch. 08 Ray hugged me close, buried his head in my hair and sighed. "Did I mention that the TCB means your sex drive is going to be off the charts? " he asked pressing little kisses to the top of my head. "No. " I mumbled into his chest, part of me felt relieved that I wasn't a depraved slut, the other part sad that it wasn't going to last. "You'll always want me pumpkin, " he sounded smug, "just not all the time, every moment of every day, constantly, " he sounded very smug "like now. " "Pardon me, my Prince, but her Holiness is waiting, so if you are quite finished... " for some reason Lila sounded quite put out, I vaguely wondered why and then forgot about her as Ray started thinking naughty thoughts. Maybe the TCB wasn't so bad after all. A particularly erotic picture flashed before me and I found myself bouncing from depressed to smug. Yes, maybe this T.C.B stuff was really not all bad, especially as Ray seemed to be suffering from enhanced sex drive too. He chuckled softly, nuzzling me as his hand squeezed me tightly, he seemed euphorically relaxed. Ray? I asked, mildly curious as to what was affecting his mood, our surroundings still forgotten as we marched forward. Yes, little cat? His hand slipping down to firmly palm my butt. Uh, not that I'm complaining, but aren't you in a very good mood? Especially as we can't go off and make love? I couldn't help the half hearted grumble, feeling as I did that he should be finding that as unpleasant a restraint as I. He chuckled sexily, the sound of his voice arousing despite it being audible only in my mind, a shiver racing down my spine as I felt my panties go from damp to drenched. Baby, I'm free. Free? I don't have to worry any more that I'm going to crush you, or hurt you, or ultimately be bad for you. I don't have to fret that you'll get hurt. You're as strong as me love, do you know how rare it is for a black paladin to fall in love, let alone with his equal? You are a miracle and I can't wait to take you in my arms again. I thought about this for a while, seeing Ray's point of view, and smiled. He was happy with me as his mate and when all was said and done that was all I really wanted. I leaned into him further, enjoying his heat and the intimacy of his touch. It would take a while to adjust completely, but I was sure that with Ray's help I would find loving him and living with him very wonderful. "We're here. " stated Lilla, sounding completely fed up. I smiled at her sympathetically, I knew she must hate our guts right about now, and her aura confirmed it. It wasn't ever nice to see lovely dovey couples letch all over each other when one was single and miserable. I smiled at her trying not to take exception at her scowl and squeezed Ray softly before moving away. "Hey! " he protested making a grab for me. "Where do you think you're going little cat? " "Um, I thought as this was an important meeting, that we, you know, shouldn't go in well, " I couldn't help blushing softly, "entwined. " My paladin laughed softly, sending me tender vibes as he folded me gently into him. I blushed a little more as his thoughts raced across my mind's eye, my paladin was feeling very smug and very possessive and if anyone wanted to see us right now, well, they could take us as we came or not at all. I blinked up at him, once more mesmerised, all my senses focused on how much I loved him and desired him and just generally completely and hopelessly admired him, my brain fogging over as I contemplated him in all his glory. My paladin chuckled softly, kissed me gently and knocked on the door. "Don't worry love, this interview is going to be as short as I can make it. " And then he opened the door and my world changed forever.