0 comments/ 7187 views/ 4 favorites Life After Death Ch. 01 By: green1094 Life After Death -- Leben Nach Tod Chapter 1 To know that vampires exist and walk among us is a scary thought. That's what I thought until my 21st birthday. My friends: Kat, Jax, and Chelse took me out to a bar to celebrate. Bars are not my place; I just seem to feel out of my element. I mean I'm average in height, 5' 4''. I wore my dark strawberry blond/brown hair down in its naturally straight form against a rich black top. I enhanced my light green eyes; they almost look surreal or unearthly. But even though I made an effort to look good I don't see any good coming from tonight. Laughing at something that Kat said, I started to slip from my seat---mind you I was not drunk! Then I realized that I didn't hit the floor. I looked up into the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen. They were the color of freshly cut amber stone that sparkled with fire and the ages of time but something was haunting him behind that sparkle that captured me. He had a strong embrace, a black button down dress shirt that was opened just enough to make a woman hot, and those black jeans...lest just say that everything was perfectly hugged. He moves to help me to my feet and asked, "Are you all right?" All I could do was nod. He was at least 6' 8'' in height with dark golden brown hair that barely touched his broad shoulders; it framed his face just right to show off his handsome chiseled features...he seemed like he was sculpted by the goddess Aphrodite. I looked at his eyes again and they were a different color. His eyes were a one-of-a-kind color, mystified over by what he has seen and done. They were the color of sin; black on the inside to the point that you couldn't see were his pupil ended and his color start. The black spread out to a color scheme of blue ending with a light blue that rimmed his eyes; as if they were each a saphire within a diamond. He was mysterious, majestic, proud, sexy personified and he knew it. But there was this air of something haunting him. With my answer he titled his head in a polite nod and took his leave. Watching him walking away from me made me feel empty. He had the body made of perfection and for sinful deeds. I stared after him until he disappeared into the crowd. I sat back down, took a sip of my drink and got hammered with millions of questions. I couldn't tell them anything about the guy other than that he 'saved' my life. I couldn't help myself from thinking if I would ever see him again and what it would be like to taste those sinful lips. ------------------- The next few days, all I could think about was that mysterious guy in black. I kept seeing him walking in and out of my dreams...and those eyes....they thoroughly mesmerized me. "Hey!!" yelled Kat. Kat is my best friend that stands at 5' 5''. I have to say I would blame her for the introduction into the world of darkness. But I love her anyway. She has and will always be there for me and has helped me through multiple hardships; I could go to her about anything that was bothering me and I think that this would qualify.... I looked up from the daze that I was in. Kat, Jax, and Chelse all looked at me with concern. "You have been doing this ever since that guy helped you...what's going on?" asked Jax. Jax is my other best friend and has always been there for me as well. "I have no clue...." I reply my voice trailing off. I look down at my drawing and his eyes were staring back at me. I closed my eyes trying to discard them from my mind and closed my sketchbook. Setting it on the table I got up and went to my room. Kat didn't let that go though. After I left she looked at the book and her concern rising. She walks to my door and knocks. "Hey...can I talk to you?" I move to open my door and she was standing there with my sketchbook in her hands. Walking in she makes her way to my bed and sits down motioning for me to sit down next to her and I do. We both knew something was going on but we were both in the dark. She hugs me, letting me know that she is there. ---------------------- A couple of days later, all four of us went out to yet again another bar. Again I had that feeling like I was being watched and followed but I couldn't see anything. I was beginning to believe that one of the creatures had their claws or fangs into me...that could explain the guy's massively perfect form. "Hey!!" yelled Kat yet again. I looked in her direction and said, "Sorry but I feel like I'm being watched." They look at each other, then back at me, and around the room. "Well I know why (she points over to the bar), that's the same guy that 'saved' your life," said Jax. I looked over at him but all I could see was his back and a well defined one at that. He turns around scanning the crowd when our gazes met. A smile started to form on those sinful lips. He must have known that I was ogling him. "Great....." I said in my mind. But that smile did something to my body; it responded to his every movement. I pulled away and started a conversation with my friends just to get my head in the right place instead of up in the clouds. A while later Jax, Kat, and Chelse got up and made their way to the dance floor. They didn't bother to ask me because they know that I don't like to dance. I watched them disappear. "May I sit?" a deep rhythmic voice said. I looked up and it was ......him! I swallowed and nodded my head. As he took a seat across from me, his muscles bulged and flexed underneath his clothing. This time he wore a fitted black shirt and faded black jeans that hugged his ass perfectly...black was definitely his color. "It seems like I run into you quite often...." he said. Well that explains...a bit. He took a swig of beer right when the music change tempo. The guy gets up and extends his hand to me as an invitation to dance. I didn't want to but I was, again, compelled to do so. Staring into his eyes, I blindly gave him my hand. Gently pulling me to my feet, he leads me to the floor. When he reached the dance floor, he lightly grabs both of my forearms and leads my hands up his chest to rest up behind his neck. God....his chest felt so good; it was so hard yet so soft. His gaze seared me through and through. Next his hands left mine to trail down my arms to rest on my waist. He pulled me close; I could feel his heat and his body stirring. I couldn't help but be aroused by just his presence. He starts to move around in a circle, all the while his hands stayed on my back...never moving. I couldn't take my eyes away from his, they seemed so alive yet so hurt by something. He held me close as if he never saw anyone more beautiful. I felt safe in his arms when I clearly knew that I should be backing away. The song ended and the DJ said, "I will be back in thirty." We just stood there. He backed up as if he just realized that he did something wrong. I couldn't think of anything that he could have possibly have done. "Soferia!" all three of my friends said at once. I turned to look at them when they said, "We were looking for you....what are you doing here?" "I was dancing," I said as I turned back around. I pointed to thin air, realizing that he was not there any longer. "Nevermind." He just disappeared just like he appeared. They give me a look that I shrug off. Later that night, when we were back in our dorm, I told them everything. I could see Kat's wheels working; I could tell that she thought there was something different about him. I could tell what she was thinking; she was thinking that what I described sounded a lot like a vampire. I couldn't think that he was because I didn't think vampires would like to live 'out in the middle of no where' and well...can it be?? -------------------- I spent too much time in the dorm. I feel like I'm trapped here like I can't move; I said to myself"I really need to get out more often." I sat myself at the bar when I heard that same rhythmic voice say, "May I sit?" He sits next to me on my right and ordered a drink. Still looking straight ahead he stated, "I've not seen you out in a while." I look down thinking, was he following me, does he know everything about me...oh god why me!! Still looking down I replied, "Yeah......school." He nods once and turns his head in my direction for the first time. He looked at me with an intensity that burned to my very soul. My body flinched at the intensity. I turned back to my drink but he kept watching. I turned to say, "What?" but it was caught in my throat. He was no there, all he left was his drink...untouched. I shivered to myself and made a quick exit for the door. ---------------------- Again I was sitting in the dorm by myself or at least that's what it felt like, everyone was sleeping. I was curled up in a chair trying to draw something...anything. But nothing came. I threw my sketchbook to the floor in frustration. I looked out the window to find that the moon illuminated the pond. I looked toward the door, grabbed my coat and walked out. Once I broke through the blow brush, I was bathed in light. It was so calm. Things like these always seemed to center me and my imagination soars. The pond stood at a stand still comforted by the light of the moon. I placed myself in the grass and soaked up the peaceful sensation. I closed my eyes letting the gentle breeze brush through my hair when I heard a rustle from behind. I snapped my eyes open, shot up and turned around. Out of the shadows steps the guy that has been stalking me. My eyes widen with fear. I backed away scared that he might hurt me but as I kept backing up he would move closer. Shaking I said, "Who the hell are you!?" He didn't respond but he smiled, not letting his teeth show, as if I said something funny. He just kept moving closer. The way that the light glided over his body showed every dip of his perfect body. His eyes sparkled as if they were newly polished gems ready to be set into ring. The way that the light captured the light in his hair gave him this unearthly glow...WAIT!!!!! What am I doing, I shook my head to clear it, he probably was going to rape me and I can't help but admire him. I should be running but I can't seem to move my feet. They seemed to be nailed to the ground by some unseen invisible force; my whole body was inmoble. I blinked and he was a foot away. I try to step back but he prevents me from doing so. "Damion," he said in a soothing whisper. I wanted to melt. I looked at him like I didn't know what he was talking about. He just kept looking deep into my eyes and asked, "My name is Damion and yours is...?" My mouth dry I replied with, "Soferia." "That's a beautiful name," he said in that same soothing whisper. His hand lowers to his side, steps back and sits down. With his left hand he motions for me to sit next to him. I hesitated, he never looked up but rather waited for me. I moved forward and sat next to him. I could that he was giving off a strange aura. He seemed to be warring inside himself with something. I kept to myself, hands holding myself when he said, "You don't have to be afraid." I jumped at the sound of his harsh voice. I nodded and we sat there for what seemed to be an eternity before I said in a whisper that most people would not hear, "Really...why?" This time he looked me straight in the face and I could see the pain and agony in his eyes. "I know that this situation (points to his self) looks bad but...." he whispers. With a quick retort I said, "But what??!!" After I said that I cringed back from him. Oh yeah there was something warring inside him. It seemed like he was holding back his fury. His hands clenched into fists, shaking he said, "That I can't say but what I can say is that you are in danger and that I'm not here to harm you...I was sent here to protect you." I looked at him in disbelief and asked, "Sent....who sent you and what are you protecting me from??" He nods and continues his explanation, "I was sent by the high order of our world to protect you from creature that would love to get their hands on you because you are the only one left who could defeat them." I looked back at the ground in front of me, "no wonder why I feel like I'm being watched. It was you, protecting me from them." "Yes and we should not linger here any longer. The night is their domain as well as my kind." He gets to his feet with such grace that no human poses. He held his hand out as an invitation. He was going to take me back. I gave him my hand and pulls me to my feet as if I weighed nothing. Hand in hand he walks me back to my dorm. At my door he whispers, "I will be watching you, don't be afraid. Gute (goo/te) Nacht (na/k/t) meine (mine/a) Königin (crew/knee/gen) (means Good night my Queen)." He tilted his head in another polite nod and floats away down the corridor. --------------------- I felt safe now that I know someone is watching over me but I couldn't help but think that there's something different about him. "Why did they want me! And who is they!!" I said out loud, bringing me back to the present. My friends look up from their work with an expression of confusion smeared across their face. I quickly got back to working on my homework. During classes all I could think about was 'what was so special about me?' I was drifting through my past but I could remember much, its as if it has been erased from my memory. Theis whole conflict was getting me into trouble with my school work, I was really getting behind –ugh- ---------------------- I knew that getting a hold of Damion was going to be hard but the only way that knew to get to him was to just simply and plainly walk outside at night. That night I walked outside and within a minute he appeared. Falling from the sky, cloak billowing in the wind from behind ne lands gracefully on his feet a foot in front of me. I screeched and took a step back. He grabbed my wrist and bellowed, "What do you think you are doing!!" I was shocked by the amount of venom there was in his voice. He started to drag me toward the door but I pulled my arm from his and stood my ground. "I didn't do this because I was being reckless!!!!! It was the only way that I could get to talk to you since you seemed to disappear on me!" I yelled at him. He lowers his head and said in almost a whisper, "I knew this was coming. I will tell you anything you want to know but we have to go inside." I nodded in agreement and walked to the door. I walked passed him but when I looked up again he was holding the door open for me. 'Man, where did this guy come from and who was he??' I kept thinking to myself. He kept leading me through the dark corridors of the dorms and before I knew it we were standing in front of my door. We walked in and all three of them came running to me. They were worried that something happened to me...they have not idea, that was the expression that was clearly printed on his face. Damion moved to sit in my favorite spot and that's when they noticed him. As they were questioning him, he sat there with a smile tugging at his mouth. Through the window behind him the light from the moon gliding over his perfectly sculpted body. His legs crossed he looks up and said, "Soferia." A sparkle lighting up his dark eyes. I stiffen at the mention of my name on his lips. "Come sit," he said motioning to a seat next to him. Kat, Jax, and Chelse all gapped at him. I moved to sit beside him and he turns his scorching eyes on me. "Try to keep an opened mind about your past. I know that you have searched for some answer to who you are. Your kind has ruled for thousands of years over the creatures that call the darkness their domain. About 500 years ago there was a huge uprising from the creatures known as shades. There were three women ruling at the time and the shades over threw them all, but there is not answer on how they accomplished it. They all fought to the death but the only way for the shades to rule is that for all of them to be dead.... "They didn't count on the fact that one of them had a daughter. Your mother gave you to me in hopes that I would protect you. I took care of you for a few years until you were ready to be brought to the human world to live. The head of the Council sealed your powers to protect you and our world. But a few months ago something shifted in the balance of both worlds, so they sent me to keep and protect you. And to teach you." I sat there, just starring at him....he's my protector?? "Okay let me get this straight...you are my protector, guardian, you knew my mother, I have secret powers that can kill these shades, and you are here to teach me?" I reelled back to him. "Yes, in a nutshell," he answers. I sat there thinking it all over but I kept coming back to one thing, "our kind." "Wait...you said, "our kind" what did you mean by that?" He takes a deep breath and continues, "You (gesturing to me with his hand) are one of us. A creature of darkness, you rule over our domain. Our race is made up of creatures you are interested in...um how should I put this...your favorite vampire movie is The Queen of the Damned, well you are Jessie but with one small twist, you are already a vampire. I am here to help you in your training and sharing our world with you so then you can become accustom to our way of life so then you could rule like you mother did." "I'm a vampire??!!" I said in a quiet whisper. "Yes, the only reason why you don't feel like one is because your powers and natural nature were sealed years ago." "What?" I asked in confusion. "in our world born vampires only stop aging at the age of 20 to 30 years of age. So when your powers are unlocked you will feel like a vampire with the craving for blood." He takes a deep breath and answers my unsaid question, "I took care of you until you were about the age of five and yes I do have a special ability, I can read peoples minds. I was tired of waiting for you to ask them." Again he answers, "Now about the shades, I will have to teach you how to fight using physical strength and you powers as well as giving you a history lesson on them. The sooner your powers are unlocked the sooner you will be prepared. We will have a year to get ready. We know for a fact that they will most definitely take you on your 22nd birthday because for them that has some significance for their kind." "I know that this is a lot to take in but I am here to help and protect you in any way, humanly or inhumanly." "Danke (thank you)," I replied --------------------- Over the next several months, time was flying by a little too quickly. All I wanted to do was prolong time but then again that's impossible....wait what am I thinking I'm a vampire so couldn't anything be possible? I focused all my energy on my school work. That was hard to do considering that my eye teeth would grow at any time, unpredictable. Well I just opted to not talk and when I was not talking, my friends would be uneasy around me. I mean at least my powers were not unlocked, for the blood issue. At night I would slip away and practice with Damion on how to fight. He thought that it would be useful to know how to as a human first then as a vampire. He had me leaning with several weapons such as a knife and a samurai sword for starters. But the one thing that I kept loosing sleep over was the knife that he wanted me to keep under my pillow. The more that I practiced the better I was getting. I felt good about myself and the way that my teacher taught me. During my practice sessions I would notice Chelse watching from the shadows. I mean who wouldn't; the way that he moved was as if he was beyond the word graceful. He was perfectly made for this and the way that his eyes would change color and seemed to be on fire, sent an intoxicating shiver down my spine. Life After Death Ch. 01 Chelse kept growing jealous every time he made an appearance. But the one that ticked her off was when, on my day off, he would drop by, at night, and stay with me. I mean I would be stupid to completely ignore his fine lean body. Every time I was around him, I felt this strong connection toward him that I couldn't be blasé about. I fell to my knees with complete exhausted. My breathing labored I said, "I...think..." Damion moved silently to my side, picking me up. Storing our swords on his back he brings me up to my room. "What did you do???!!!" Kat, Jax, and Chelse yelled together. "She will be fine, she just needs to rest. I was pushing to see how far she could go. I didn't do it because I wanted to, I was preparing her for what the shades would most likely do." He gracefully moves to my room and lays me on my bed setting a cold compress upon my forehead. -------------------- I walked in on them several hours later on intriguing sight. Kat, Jax, and Chelse were all staring at Damion cleaning the bloody swords.....at least one thing I did have is the fast healing...besides the growing teeth I mean. Damion looked up and saw me sway unsteadily on my feet. The next thing I knew he was holding me vertical. From what I could see out of my eyes was the worried faces of my three. What did I look like?? I pulled away from Damion and walked to the mirror in my room. "What happened...???!!!!" I gasped. I raised my hands to my face----"HUH," I gasped again. My skin was cold as ice and as white as a sheet. I raced from my room to Damion. "Your true form is starting to become apparent, as the days countdown to your 22nd year your true form will come upon you. But we are avoiding that small detail by having The Council unlock your true form before then," he answered me. Lowering his head, he moves to sit back down and started to clean the already clean sword. I move to his side putting my right hand on his shoulder and said, "Don't worry." His hands stopped, shaking; lowering his head even lower. With his voice shaking he said, "How can I not, everyone that I ever allowed myself to care about has ended up dead because of those shades. I couldn't protect them and I'm afraid that, that will happen to you. It was prophesized that I would be the one to train the vampire queen." I could feel the hurt inside him as if it was my own. "I'm afraid if I allow myself to care too deeply about you, you might meet that same terrible fate. But I'm too afraid that I already am...." I couldn't speak, it seemed that we both have feelings that we were slightly denying each other. I was determined to kill those dame bastards that were determined to end both our existences; the whole world depended on me...whether they know that or not. I meet his sadden gaze and said, "You have trained me well and no one can predict the future. You just have to take life by the reins and not let then take what you have worked so hard for." His eyes burned as a sapphire within a diamond with a fire that was incomprehensible. Closing the space between us he pulls me into his strong embrace. We both wanted what the other desired. Its almost dawn..." he looks at the sky almost longingly. "I've been waiting for the day when I could feel the warmth of the sun against my skin." "What do you mean?" I asked. "In the prophecy, it states that I'm the one who will protect and care for you, in darkness or light. There's a ritual that has to be preformed when the Queen, you, give yourself to the protector, me." "You mean sexually..." he nods. "But that does not matter-----" "----How does that not matter!!! Your feelings and wishes matter to me!! I want you by my side for all eternity!!!!!" He turns to me, shock written on his face. 'Soferia wants me????!!!!' he thought to himself. ------------------- Later Chelse came up behind me completely enraged. "How could you???!!!" she yelled at me. I stood there shocked wondering what she was yelling about. "'How could I' what???" I asked innocently. "You know damn well what I am talking about!" I kept looking at her bemused as she moved closer to my face. "UGH!!" she said shaking. "Why do you get--------" My door flies open and someone yells, "What is all the yelling about!!!!!" Both our heads turn to him. Then he looks with understanding, apparently reading her mind. "So I take it that you heard our conversation yesterday......It was written in the prophecy hundreds of years ago and I will not leave her side unprotected from these fiends..." He walks back into my room. In my room he starts ranting, "Damn the sexual pull, I never intended for this to happen, just the complication that we needed." Sarcastic by the end of it. ---------------------- While I was sleeping, Damion was deep in thought, 'I can't let this go on any longer. I'm dismanteling things around her, I can't let...' his head lowers with defeat and walks from the place. ------------------------"AAAAAWWWWWWEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Kat, Jax, and Chelse screamed. Three blacked cloaked vampires magically appeared in the room. "Where's Damion?" the one with dark red hair demanded. "N-not h-here," Kat replied. The three vampires GASPED!!! They all ran to my door and opened it to find me passed out with my life force disappearing. "Boil some water!!!" "A cloth!!!" "Get her to the couch!!!" the red hair vampire demanded with unspeakable rage. "GO FIND DAMION!!!!!!!!!" ---------------------- Another scream sounded, announcing Damion and Ayumu's return. When he was in view of the couch, Damion froze in utter horror. He almost broke down. Pushing back the few people that stood in his way, he moved to my side biting his wrist. Placing his wrist above my mouth, he let his blood drip into my mouth. "Hopefully that will help," Damion said and stood up. Several hours later I awoke. "Ugh, what happened....?" I asked. "We are not sure..." said Lucus. "Damion...." I said with caution, as I stood up warily to walk to his side. He turns his gaze to me and I could see the hurt and rage that radiated from his very soul. Arms at his sides, I moved forward and placed my arms around him and said, "You have not lost me yet." He didn't smile but there was a new fire burning in his soul that couldn't be denied. --------------------- We all stood in a big room with twelve men (I don't consider them equal to a vampire) staring down at all eight of us. Damion walked forward and spoke, "You have not yet unlocked her powers and its past the due date. She is your Queen after all and would you deny the law that her mother set in stone---literally." All squirmed in their chairs. The head then spoke, "Fine." He waved his hand and everybody standing close to me, moved back. A white light engulfed me and I started to...change. I started to feel sick, the pain was too much, I dropped to my knees. My hands started to shake from the shear throbbing of my nails that were growing as if they were stunning to steel, but they looked the same as always. The light vanished as I stood; I looked at Damion who seemed stunned. I could smell the very fear that was eminateing from the humans. I could even see a speck of dust traveling along the stone floor on the other side of the room. Every sense was so utterly enhanced that now I realized why vampires were considered the ultimate destroyer. My eyes were a shade lighter; my hair grew longer and blacker with a blood red tint. I stretched thinking, 'oh yeah this felt good, this was what I was missing for so long.' Everybody seemed to be frozen at the sight of me. "Now you may leave," the head said dismissively. "Not quite yet..." I said. "As engraved on the stone (I waved my hand and the ancient stone appeared) ---" All gasped. "But we destroyed that stone!!!!" I gave them and evil grin. "Just one of my many powers. But on another note, it states 'that when my daughter returns, The Council will hand rule over to her, my daughter, my Soferia. Next she will have her say in who she wants in her Council.'" "Can you say heartless," I heard from behind me in a whisper from Chelse. I turned to look at her and she squirmed and moved behind Jax. "Don't try my patience. I haven't even gotten to you and you don't know what heartless means until you have seen what they (I point to The Council) have done. (I turned back to them) I will strip all you of your powers making you human. I will also strip you of your money but only so you could live a...decent enough life and I'm not done...(I said before the head could interrupt) then I will place each of you in a different part of the world!!" All gasped, "What about your new advisors?" "The only ones that I could ever trust are standing right here: Damion, Lucus, Raph, and Ayumu. --------------------- Life After Death Ch. 01 I'd like to thank Capshroud2000 for his help in catching my mistakes and making it easier to read. This is the first of three chapters, and when the other two are done being edited, only then will they will be posted. The story is loosely based on something that happened to someone I know very well. * As I dropped the birthday card in the mailbox, my mind wandered for a split second. Had it already been a year? That fact, and not the cold September wind had just put a chill down my spine. "Oh well, life goes on," I said to myself, as I started my daily half-mile walk to my office. When I went looking for my new condo, I had wanted to make sure it was within walking distance of my office. In that way, I could sell my car, drop the insurance, and if I needed transportation, I always had my Harley. I had shops, restaurants, and anything else I needed within a mile of my new place. It was still dark at 6:00 am. I didn't mind since there was hardly any traffic and no panhandlers to contend with. At my normal walking pace I was in my office building in less than fifteen minutes. I made a fresh pot of coffee, grabbed a cup, and went into my office. "How could I have eighteen e-mails already this morning," I asked myself as I reviewed them. Most of them were garbage, and jokes, but two had information that I had been waiting for. I printed them out, and replied to the rest, which took me until about 7:10. After that I started looking at yesterday's sales, what had been produced on the second and third shifts, and if anyone had run into any problems during the night. It was now just after 8:00, and the rest of the office people were starting to mosey on in for the day. I was the purchasing manager for a Minneapolis based manufacturing company. I was the office manager and in charge of about a third of the 175 employees. I had been there for six years, and after the last eight months, I was the company's rising star. Hell, if you put in as many hours as I did, you would be a star, too ... unless you were a total idiot. You can bet that I wasn't. Well, not any more. I normally got in between 6:00 and 6:15 in the morning and was never out until at least 7:30 at night. Weekends were hit or miss, but normally you could count on me putting in at least another eight hours. I had become a workaholic, but my job was all I had left now. Today was the month end closing of the books, and I wanted to make sure that everything went smoothly. I checked my inventory levels, put off two trucks of material until Monday, and told everyone to make sure that all of their shop orders were closed by day's end. I was doing a final review of my inventory when my boss, Ken stopped by my office on his way out. "What the hell are you still doing here? I'm the only one here that you need to impress, and I'm leaving," he told me. "Ken, just looking at my inventory and production numbers before corporate closes the books tomorrow morning," I replied. "Steve, your numbers are good, and your month-end numbers are always good. Close your computer down and go home," Ken pleaded with me. "I will. I just have one more thing to do, and I'm out of here." "Good, and I don't want to see you here tomorrow. The bug man is bombing the office Saturday morning, and no one can be in here for 24 hours after that. So go home, relax, and have a good weekend for a change," Ken told me as he walked out. I did leave, but it was well past 8:00 before I finally walked out. As I walked home, I watched all of the couples having a drink in the local pubs, eating dinner in the restaurants, and just walking arm and arm through the now busy streets. I just shook my head, and headed back to my condo, alone as usual. It was a two bedroom, two bath, second floor unit I had completely renovated prior to my moving in. I had hot water heat and a large balcony on the backside that overlooked a park with a lake. There was a walking and biking path around the lake, which was about three miles in length. I loved to get up early on Sunday mornings and do three or four laps before breakfast. As I opened my door and threw the keys on the counter, I could see the blinking of my answering machine. Without even looking at the numbers, or how many messages there were, I hit the delete button. Moving over to the refrigerator, I took out an already-opened bottle of my favorite wine, pulled out the cork, and went to the china cabinet to grab a crystal wine glass. I had started using them about a couple of month's back, after asking myself one night, "What was I saving them for?" They were beautiful, but what good was that if they just sit there gathering dust. If I dropped one and it broke, oh well, I had another seven left anyway. With a glass of wine in hand, I flipped on the TV and opened my laptop. I pulled up AOL, and it announced that I had six new e-mails. Two were from E-Bay about items that I was bidding on; one was from my parents; two were from my best and only friend, Nick; and one was asking me if I'd like to make $1,000.00 a week working from home. "I'll get to them tomorrow," I said to myself as I went into the kitchen. I had redone the kitchen shortly after moving in. It was now like something out of a gourmet magazine. It had a six-burner gas stove, a separate double oven, a large stainless-steel refrigerator, two copper sinks, granite counter tops, and an island with a built-in wine cooler. All of this over-looked the dining room, and the balcony. A while back, I was having a lot of trouble falling asleep. I just couldn't clear my mind no matter how long I lied there in bed. I found that the only sure fire way to sleep, was to be 100% physically exhausted, so I had converted the second bedroom into a home gym. So every night, between the hours of 9:00 and 10:00, I drove myself into the ground. After that, I would take a quick cold shower, have a final glass of wine, and then go to sleep. Day in and day out, that was my schedule. I had trimmed down over the past year and no longer had an ounce of fat left on my 5'10" frame. I had gone down from a soft 195 to 175 pounds. I wasn't big, but I was rock solid. Dinner was the same as it had been all week. I wasn't about to start cooking dinner when I got home at 8:00 every night, so I found one of the local restaurants that would cook and quick-freeze five meals every week for me. Tonight it was steak, peppers, and rice. A couple of minutes in the microwave and it was ready to eat. Grabbing another glass of wine, I went into the living room and turned on the news. There never was anything good anymore. All the networks ever showed were those items that would boost their ratings ... murders, bombings, terrorists, and various prominent politicians sleeping around on their wives. It never changed. The local stations it weren't any better. Reality shows seemed to be all there was anymore. The majority of them insulted my intelligence, and the few that did look interesting dragged on for weeks until they mercifully ended. "Reality; they had no idea what reality really is!" I said to myself as finally turned it off and headed to my workout room. Twenty minutes on the treadmill got my heart rate elevated and my legs warmed up. After that it was fifteen minutes of hard stretching before the real workout began. Thirty to forty-five minutes of hitting and kicking the heavy bag was more than most people could handle. I was focused and made each punch and kick count. It was as though I was giving up a piece of myself with every strike. As a kid, I had trained in a Chinese Kung Fu style in a small dojo only four blocks from where my family lived. Growing up I had watched all those cheesy karate movies and thought how cool it would be to be able to do what I saw. After pestering my dad for months and faithfully promising him that I wouldn't quit, I became a student of a local school. However, it was nothing like what I saw in the movies. The Sensei ruled his school with an iron fist. You never questioned what he told you to do unless you wanted to feel the sting of the bamboo rod he always carried around. He literally worked our butts until we couldn't raise an arm or leg any longer. After about two months, I'd had enough and wanted to quit. "I paid for a year, and you're going to finish," my dad told me. "What are you, some kind of baby?" my dad said in a mocking voice. "So it's a little tough. Suck it up! Life is tough. Finish the year, and if you want to quit after that, so be it. However, I expect you to give it your all. I don't want some half-assed effort on your part. Do you understand?" "Yes sir," I replied. After that I sucked it up, and gave it 110%. That's when I met Nick. He was a year older than I was, but we went to the same school. Even back then, he out-weighed me by forty pounds, though he wasn't nearly as motivated as I had become. "My dad enrolled me, to give me some self confidence and character," Nick told me one day. "I don't want to be here, but I've got no choice." We became best friends. We hung out and played together, but most of all, we trained together. We would hold the pads for each other, and his biggest complaint was that I was trying to kill him with all the kicks I was throwing. "Ease up damn it. You don't have to throw me through the wall with every kick," Nick pleaded. But I was on a mission. In two months we would be allowed to spar in class, and that's what I was really looking forward to. My first sparring session was a major disaster. I got my butt kicked by no less than three other students; so much for my big head. It took me another three months of hard work before I won my first match. After that, I never looked back. I did train for an additional four years before I finally hung up my belts. Nick did a total of two years before he dropped out. I had my second-degree black belt, but then I found a new interest ... girls. My Sensei begged me to stay on, but I had made up my mind. He told me that the dojo was always open to me, and we parted as the best of friends. For a while, I would stop in to say hi and see what was going on, but after a year or so I finally stopped. That was, until a couple of months ago. Looking at my watch, it was almost 11:00. I was soaked in perspiration head to foot, and I moved slowly towards the bathroom. Pealing off my wet shorts and top, I threw them in the hamper and stepped into the shower. For the first couple of minutes I just let the cold spray bring me back to life. While looking at my red and swollen hands, I grabbed the soap and washed the grunge from my body. I had cut my hair short after the incident and was now sprouting a ten-day old beard. Shampoo, conditioner, and brushing my teeth finished my shower. Grabbing a warm towel from the cabinet, I dried off and wiped the mirror. I saw my reflection, so I knew I was still breathing. But was I alive? ***************** Saturday morning I sent a brief e-mail to Nick, "Unless Lisa has already talked you into selling your bike, please meet me for breakfast Sunday morning at 8:00. That is, if you can still can get up that early. The Mom and Pops on 321. You know the place." I loved my bike. I had either driven or owned many of the affordable sports cars in the last five years, but nothing compared to being on my Harley. The rumble of the engine, the wind in your face, the vulnerability of being out there, just you and the bike, was something at this point that I really needed. I had dumped my helmet a couple of months back and wore nothing more than my shades and maybe a ball cap once in a while. It was still a little cool, when I took off at about 9:30 on Saturday. I saw only one other biker who greeted me with the downward peace sign. By this time of the year most of the weekend riders had already put their bikes away, but the rest of us hard-core riders would wait until the first snowfall. It had been a while since I'd had an oil change, so I headed over to the dealer, knowing that he wouldn't be busy on a cold Saturday morning. "Just an oil change," I told the service tech. "You going to wait on it? "Well, unless you want to give me a ride home, I'll wait. About how long?" I asked. "Give me an hour and I'll get you back on the road," he told me. I had time to kill, so I decided to check out the new and consignment bikes on the dealer's floor. "You looking for a bike?" The salesman said, as he walked up to me, with his hand out stretched. "Nope. Just getting my Ultra serviced." "Well, if you have any questions, just let me know," he said walking back to the group of salesmen shooting the breeze by the row of offices. After a couple of minutes, one caught my eye. I threw a leg over and up-righted it. "This is what I call a sweet ride," I said to myself while, admiring the lime-green, custom chopper. At one time, I had thought about getting one, but I had given into Carol's demands and traded my Road King for the Ultra. She kept telling me how uncomfortable it was, but that was now in the past. "A beauty, isn't it?" The salesman said walking up behind me. "It's got a 2008 engine with only 2200 miles on it. Everything else is custom Harley parts except for the frame, which was hand-made. You want to take it for a spin?" he asked. "I don't think I can afford something like this," I told him. "Well, the guy is looking for a cash sale, or he will consider a trade with cash. What are you currently riding?" "A black '08 Ultra," I told him. "Owe anything on it?" "Nope, free and clear," I said while now giving the green chopper more than a once over. The next thing I knew, I was tooling down the road on the green monster. It handled like a dream, even with the Springer front end at a 60-degree front rake. After about twenty minutes, I pulled back into the dealership. "What do you think?" the salesman asked. "A little more vibration in the seat than I'd like, but it handles pretty decent," I told him. "You interested in talking to the owner?" he asked. While taking another look I said, "Get him on the phone." "Why in the hell are you selling it?" was my first question. "My old lady is tired of sitting on the rear, fender pad, and gives me nothing but grief when I go on a ride without her. So to keep peace in the family, I've got to sell it and get something more appropriate ... as she calls it." "I did that once. Never again," I told him. "You got any saddle-bags for it?" "I've got a set of leather bags and even a small bolt on wind-shield if you're interested." Thirty minutes later he and his wife drove to the dealership with the rest of the accessories, and the three of us went outside to talk. Forty-five minutes later and $8,000.00 lighter, I drove off with his bike and the happy couple with mine. As they say, a win situation for both of us. I set up an appointment with the dealer for the following week, to change out the seat and add a rear shock, to get rid of most of the vibration. Call me a candy-ass, but after a hundred miles or so, my back could no longer take the ride of a hard tail. Nick was sitting by the window, having a cup of coffee, when I pulled in. I had barely turned off the engine, when I noticed him standing next to me. "When did you get this beauty?" he asked. "Just yesterday. Traded my Ultra and a few bucks for her; what do you think?" "Damn, what's there not to like?" he replied. He spent the next twenty minutes looking it over, asking me questions, and wishing he had the balls to do something like what I'd done. "Lisa would have my ass, if I pulled into the driveway with something like this," Nick said as he continued to check it out. Even though she hardly ever rides with me anymore, she would still never go for it. Before you leave though, you've got to let me take it for a ride. You owe me that much," he said as we went inside. After ordering breakfast and telling him the long version of how I traded my Ultra for the green monster, we settled down to updating each other on what we'd been up to. I told Nick that even though business was down about 15%, because of the economy being in the toilet work, was going well for me. Last month we had lured two distributors away from one of our competitors, and as a result, we should have a great fourth quarter. Nick said that his company had laid off almost 10% of the work force, and that they were doing every thing in their power just to survive this year without going chapter 11. "I never thought I'd be happy just to have a job, any job, but that's how it is right now. I tell the guys on the floor to keep their mouths shut, do their jobs, and be thankful they're working because there are no jobs out there," Nick told me. I asked about Lisa's work, and how secure her job at the hospital was. "People are still going to get sick, and the hospital are always going to need good nurses. The only thing I hate is that she has to cover for people who lay out sometimes. Hell, I've had to pick her up at 3:00 in the morning because she was too tired to drive back home. I guess we have to do whatever to keep food on the table." "You know that Lisa and Carol are still friends, and we see her every once in a while," Nick said more than a little hesitantly. Holding up a finger, all I said was "Don't." "Just thought you'd like to know, she still asks about you," he told me. "If it were anyone but you, I'd all ready been out of here," I quickly replied. "Just thought you should know. I understand you had a little trouble at the dojo two weeks ago," Nick said with a laugh. "I heard sensei told you to stay away until you could control your temper." "It was no big deal. I was sparring with the kids when his new full contact fighter opened his big mouth. He had just dropped another fighter in the ring and was feeling a little cocky, that's all," I told him. "Well, rumor has it, he called you a wimp, and that you were only good enough to spar with the little kids," Nick said with a laugh. "Kenny said you got into the ring, and cleaned his clock in less than five minutes, and that sensei had to pull you off him." "You know how stories get blown out of proportion," I told him. "I did a front leg sweep and gave him a back fist. I guess that pissed him off, because he went a little nuts. Hell, he had his hands up way too high, so I just gave him a couple of sidekicks, to show him why we protect the body ... that's all. I guess I should have pulled my kicks a little because I understand I cracked a couple of his ribs. Maybe next time he'll keep his elbows in tight," I said with a little smirk on my face. "Well, if you want to spar with anyone else, don't call me ... been there, done that," Nick told me. "You still never do anything half ass do you?" Nick said all ready knowing my answer. We shot the shit for another hour before Nick told me that he had to leave. "Going over to Lisa's parents for dinner tonight. You want to come along? It's no bother, and Lisa would love to see you. It's been almost six months since we've all gotten together." "Not today," I told him. "I've got some work I've got to get done before Monday morning, but thanks for the invite any way. Maybe next time," I replied. "Buddy, you can't hide forever," Nick said as he gave me a shot to the arm before taking my new bike out for a test run. After about ten minutes, a wide-eyed Nick pulled back into the parking lot. "I've got to get me one of these," he said getting off my bike. "The only problem I can see is that it's a lot faster than my wide glide. I sure as hell wouldn't want to take a sharp corner flat out on it," he said unzipping his jacket and taking off his helmet. I told Nick to play it cool, and not to do anything I'd do, because I was half crazed. He went back home and I took off on my green monster, for a long afternoon ride. Life After Death Ch. 01 ************************ About 6:30 I stopped at a small greasy spoon on my way back into town. I wasn't super hungry but needed something to hold me over until breakfast. I ordered a burger, onion rings, and a Dr Pepper and kept an eye on my bike from the diner's window. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, gave it at least a second glance. Then three girls, pulling into the spot next to my bike looked at it for about five minutes before one threw a leg over it. That was a no, no. "How would you like it, if I opened up your car, and sat in it, with my feet up on the dash?" I asked as I snuck up behind them. Startled, two of them jumped back, almost falling into me as the one on the bike asked if it was mine. "Yes it's my bike, and didn't your mom ever tell you it's not polite to sit on someone else property?" I asked. "Never knew my mother, and my dad would have all ready tried to hot-wire it," she said not batting an eye. How does it handle, and how in the hell is someone suppose to sit on that pathetic rear seat," she asked. "It handles just fine and I really don't give a shit about the rear seat because I've got no one to put back there anyway," I told her starting to get more than a little annoyed with her. "So if you don't mind, get your butt off my bike." "Excuse me, like my 105 pounds is going to wreck your shinny new toy," she spat back at me. "I wouldn't go for a ride now, even if you got on your hands and knees and begged me," she said walking past me and into the diner. "Takes all kinds," I said to myself as I walked into the dinner and back to my table. The three girls sat at the counter, and every once in a while one or the other would look back at me. "Looks like I'm the object of their conversation," I thought to myself as I finished my meal. I had all ready put on my jacket, and was paying at the register when the skinny brunette walked up to me. "I've decided to give you another chance," she told me. "I usually don't do this, but you look like a lost puppy, and I love puppies. I assume you live in town, and letting you give me a ride home can be your way of saying how sorry you are for being such an ass. Give me a minute to get my jacket, out of the car, and we can blow this place," she told me as she walk out of the diner. "If I wasn't so shocked, I probably would have told her to kiss my ass, but five minutes later, there we were, heading towards town, two up on my bike. The faster I went, the harder she held onto me. When we finally got into town, she gave me directions to her place. "Well, that was fun, but you're going to have to do something about that seat if you expect me to go riding with you again," she told me. "My ass may not be very big, but that damn seat is way too hard and small. Here's my cell number," she said handing me a slip of paper. "Call me when you want to do this again, but like I told you, dump the seat," she said walking up the stairs of the apartment complex not even bothering to look back at me. Just before walking through the door she turned around. "By the way, my name is Pam, if you're interested," she said as she walked through the door. "Good looking, nice ass but what a pushy bitch," I said to myself as I slipped her number in my shirt pocket. ******************** Month end went better than expected, and when I got two vendors to lower their price by 5%, the company thought I could walk on water. "Keep this up, and we might still get a bonus yet this year," Ken told me. "Also with Bill leaving, I put your name in for his company car. You can leave it in the garage, but if you need it, it's available." I thanked Ken, and told him it would come in handy, on the weekends, when the snow started to fly. For now however, I enjoyed my morning walks into work. The dealer changed out the seat on my new bike with a gel filled one, and with a new mono-shock on the rear tire, the bike was almost as good as my Road King had been. "You got any bolt on seats for my rear fender," I asked. "What are you looking for?" he asked. "Something a little more plush than the pee pad that's on there right now," I explained to him. "I have a seat that's pretty decent, with quick release, mounting bolts. You can leave it in your saddle bag, and put it only on when you need it," he told me. It cost me a mint, but so did everything else with the Harley Davidson nametag. ******************** I played with that stupid slip of paper Pam gave me for about a week. I had been on only three dates in the last year, and one of them was when I took a female customer out to dinner. Usually marketing took care of those duties, but this one couldn't be avoided. The other two were nice, but I had little in common with either one of them. Damn, I hated blind dates. "Hello Pam," I began, "this is Steve," knowing fully well she probably wouldn't remember me. "Steve? Steve who?" she asked. "Let me give you a hint, green chopper," I told her. "I'd given you up as a lost cause. What took you so long to call?" she asked. "Works been a little crazy lately, and I needed to get a few things done to my bike," I explained to her. "There's a ride this Saturday, and I was wondering if you'd be interested in going?" "You replace my seat yet?" Pam asked. "Well let's put it this way, your butt cheeks won't spill over on the new seat, if that answers your question," I replied. "Well, in that case, yes. What time are you going to pick me up?" she asked. "About 9:30, and make sure you're dressed warm. They're forecasting temperatures in the lower 50's for highs. Do you have a leather jacket and boots?" I asked. "Don't worry about me, just don't be late. Do you still remember where I live?" "I know the address, but what's your apartment number?" I asked. "Not so fast. I'll just meet you out front at 9:30, and we can take it from there," she told me in no uncertain terms. After that I was struggling with small talk and was bombing badly. Finally she mercifully ended our conversation telling me she would see me on Saturday morning. It was like I was sixteen all over again, and asking my first girl out on a date. I was pathetic. When Saturday finally came, I put on my heavy leathers, my mid-calf boots, and grabbed a warm pair of gloves as I headed out. After about a mile and a half, I stopped and put on my stocking cap. Damn, it was cold. After about ten minutes the heat from the engine finally started warming my cold body. "Thank God for the bolt on windshield," I said stopping at a light. It deflected just enough wind so I wasn't freezing to death this morning. "You're late," is the first thing Pam said to me. "It's only 9:35," I replied looking down at my watch. "Late is late. Now let's see what kind of seat you've got for me," she said walking over to my bike. I bolted on the new seat, started up the engine, and told her to hop on. The dealership was twenty minutes away and I could feel her arms around me, and her face pressed against my back. "Wow, that's cold," Pam, said as she got off the bike. "My damn face is numb." She said rubbing her cheeks. We went inside to warm up and get a cup of coffee as the rest of the group started arriving. "Here," I said tossing her a neoprene full mask. "This will keep the wind off your face and keep you a lot warmer," I told her as she tried it on. "It's got the picture of a skull on the outside," she complained. "It's for warmth, not style," I told her getting a little annoyed. "Thank you," she finally said. "I really appreciate it." The ride finally started about 10:00 and lasted for about two hours. There were only about thirty bikes and most were single riders, I guess not too many wife's or girl friends wanted to go out in this weather. We got back to the dealer, just before noon. They brought out a few cold, meat, trays, and munchies but it wasn't anything I was interested in. "You want to go out to lunch?" I asked. "Yes, but just make it some where I can get something hot," Pam replied. We stopped at Denny's. We grabbed a booth in the back, and the waitress brought us a pot of hot coffee. Pam was using the hot cup of coffee to warm her hands as she looked at the menu. "Warming up?" I asked. "I am now," she said taking small sips. "That was fun, cold but fun," she told me. "Do you do this often?" "Not as much as I used to," I told her. "I used to ride to Sturgis every year for the rally, but I haven't been back there in almost three years. Maybe this summer," I told her. "I've seen pictures. Are there really that many bikes?" she asked. "They're every where, and it's one huge non stop party that lasts for almost two weeks. My buddy, Nick and I did the trip non-stop, and lived in a two-man tent for three days ... never again. I guess I've gotten used to the comforts of home, and sleeping on the ground and eating cold food, is not where it's at for me anymore," I told her. "But I do like to take off for a long ride once in a while. It clears my mind, and I just feel free." "What do you do for a living? That is, when you're not playing easy rider," she asked. "Purchasing manager for a manufacturing company in town," I replied. "And you?" I asked. "I teach art and do free lance work," Pan told me. "There's not a lot of money in it, but at least I like what I do ... not like most people I know." "Are you seeing anyone right now?" "Why, are you applying for the job?" she said laughing as I started squirming in my seat. "Relax, I had someone once, but he wasn't satisfied with me, so he moved on. Since then, a few guys here and there, but no one right now. How about you?" she asked. "About the same. Had someone special, but she ruined it for us. Haven't seen anyone for the last year, if that's what you're asking." "So in other words, you're a born again virgin, so to speak. Good, I like that. This way I won't be afraid of catching any cooties or anything else, unlike from the hot shot players out there who will screw anything that is breathing," she told me. "What makes you think I want to take you to bed?" "With a hot body like mine, why wouldn't you want to," she said with a laugh. "Now that we got all the personal items out of the way, let's see how much we really do have in common." That started a two day discussion on each of our likes, dislikes, and as much history as we were both willing to share. I don't think she was happy that I wouldn't tell her anything more than I'd been married once, and it had ended very badly. Over the next three weekends, I got to know Pam pretty well. We both liked the same kind of foods, and where I ran, she roller bladed. She thought my workout room was over the top, and I told her that her favorite band sucked. We finally agreed to disagree. "Do you want to go to a club Saturday night?" she asked on Thursday. "A few friends of mine are going, and I want them to meet you." "I'm not a big dancer," I said almost apologetically. "No problem, most guys can't dance anyway. Just be like everyone else, move your feet around and fake it," she said with a smile. "Well, I gave you fair warning," I told her. Besides kissing, we hadn't gone any further. She asked me to stay over one night, and I politely refused saying I wasn't quite ready for that step just yet. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle," she said stroking my arm. "Funny, very funny," I told her. She drove Saturday because as she put it, "I'm not going to freeze my ass tonight on your damn crotch rocket. So, unless you want to see my nipples sticking out like two Christmas lights, we're taking my car." I really did want to see her nipples, and was planning on making my move that night, back at my place. The club was crowed but we did manage to find a decent table just off the dance floor. I'd been to this club once before, and it held no fond memories for me. Pam's friends seemed nice, and we were all having a great time when I came face to face with one of my worst nightmares ... again. "Hi wimp," is how he started it. "Remember me? I see that you've got a new girl, did the other one drop you, after that night?" he said with a laugh. "Maybe this one needs more than a pretty boy to please her," he said moving up to my face. "Pam, meet shit head Dan. He's a body builder whose brain has been fried by steroids," I said with a smile as his buddies tried to pull him away. As he turned to walk away, I said in a voice, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I understand, that after the gym closes, all the faggot body builders blow each other and tell one another how great they are." Dan screamed and rushed at me, knocking over our table and everyone sitting there. The bouncers immediately came over and kicked Dan, his two buddies, and me out of the club. "Pam, stay in the club," I told her. "You don't want to be a part, of what's going down tonight. I'll call you later," I said as I was escorted out of the club. Outside the three of them started pushing me as we moved around to the side of the building. "Afraid of little old me?" I taunted Dan. "Need your two buddies to fight your battles for you? I guess you really are nothing more than a big faggot." Dan swung at me, as his buddies cheered him on. I easily ducked and moved away from all his wildly thrown punches while slapping him in the face, mocking him. He finally rushed me. That was a big mistake. I sidestepped his lunge. My first kick took out his left knee with a loud crack. Dan was on his way down when my spin heel kick caught him in the middle of the chest driving all the air from his lungs. As Dan struggled to sit up, I front kicked him on the right side of his jaw shattering it along with his nose. Just as I was about to hit Dan again, one of the other guys grabbed me from behind and yelled for his buddy to punch me. I stomped the top of his right foot as hard as I could breaking at least half the bones while driving the back of my head into his face, shattering the bridge of his nose. He released me as he screamed out in pain and covered his now bloody face with his hands. As I watched him dropped to the ground, I looked for his other buddy. He was nowhere to be found. I walked over to Dan who was lying on the ground moaning for someone to help him. I pulled his head up by his hair and whispered in his ear, "You can tell your friend, Tom, if I ever find him, what I'll do to him will make this look like a paper cut." I release his head and watched it hit the ground with a thud. Standing up I adjusted my clothes, and before walking away, I kicked Dan full force in the groin. That put him out. As I turned to walk away, I saw Pam. She was just standing there with her mouth open looking at the two men lying on the ground. "I told you not to come out here," I said grabbing her arm and pulling her around to the front of the club. "We need to leave before the police get here," I said as I guided her along the sidewalk. "Come on, Pam, we have to go." We hurried to the parking garage and found her car. I opened her door and pushed her into the passenger seat. Getting in, I floored it and drove out onto the street and headed for my condo. It was a silent drive to my place, as Pam just stared at me. "Steve what the hell was that all about?" she started to say as I cut her off parking in front of my building. "Not tonight. We will take about it later, but not tonight," I told her holding up my hand. "Are you ok to drive?" "I'm ok, it's just that..." "Damn it not tonight I shouted," taking her by surprise. "I'll call you," I said getting out of the car, and walking into my building. I looked back once, to make sure she was all right before I walked in. I opened my condo door, locked it, and threw the keys against the wall. "God damn it Carol, I hate you," I screamed as I ripped off my jacket, throwing it to the floor. "I want you to fucking die, do you hear me? I wish you were fucking dead," I yelled hitting the wall with my fist, again, and again and again.