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Factors of Change Ch. 01

By: MarieLyne



I wasn't born a werewolf. I was Turned, unwillingly. It happened 30 years ago. On August 19th, 1984, precisely, but taking a month or two out of the years won't bring my old life back.

I was 24 years old when it happened. I was attacked by a crazy, rogue werewolf during a summer camping trip with friends in Banff National Park. We had expected bears in the Rockies, but not aggressive wolves. Two of my friends died that night, but I survived the bite. A third friend of mine came out of it unharmed, if a trifled shocked. She had sent the wolf away by slashing a kitchen knife at his face and was the one who drove me to the hospital in the middle of the night. We had both been sobbing the whole way but she bravely managed, through her tears, to get to the hospital in Banff without flipping us into a ditch. Her name was Nina. She got married three years later, and I was invited. That was the last time I saw her; I heard she bought a house in Columbus and raised her three children there. Her eldest is apparently a resident in medicine, but I only gathered that information through the branches of social connections – I haven't seen Nina in 27 years.

Actually, I don't see anyone from my old life anymore. 

It hasn't to do with the fact that I turn into a wolf at will or that the beast lives in my mind and I hold private conversations with her (though it would be awkward if I did so out loud, I guess). But aging ten times slower than normal humans, while good for my complexion, became a problem after I turned 35 or so. Even now, nearly three decades after the incident and nearing 55 years of "real" age, I still look freshly out of college.

So at 35, I left my job, sold my apartment, and disappeared to travel the world. I still send birthday cards and postcards to my aging father regularly, but haven't gathered the guts to call him in the past 10 years, unsure if I can stand hearing him ask me to come home once more. How could I possibly explain my appearance, my lack of aging? I'm not even allowed to. Even werewolves have rules to obey, and revealing themselves to humans isn't only one of those, but the first one.

You will not let humans know about werewolves.

Sort of like a commandment, right? Actually, I like to think of them more like Asimov's robotic laws.

I knew there must have been other werewolves around me at the time, though I had no desire whatsoever to find them. My only experience with them had resulted in my near death, and until I knew for sure that they wouldn't hurt me, I would stay the hell away from any other specimen of my new species. Though it would have been simpler, I guess, to build a cabin in the middle of the woods and stay there, because werewolves are a damn organized sort, and you stick out like a sore thumb when you stumble upon their territory. 

That's the second rule: protect the pack. They're pretty obsessed about it, actually.

The first time I met another wolf was in New York, in 1995. A beta male sniffed me out on the street and was unable to identify my scent as one of his pack. He quite boldly followed me back to the restaurant where I lead him, breaking down with nerves, in a desperate attempt to stay in a crowded place. He had been cordial enough, though, and apparently believed me when I explained that I had no idea I was on anyone's territory. He had turned stone cold when I explained my story, though.

It turned out that while they are tolerated, and even fully accepted and considered equals in certain packs, Turned wolves aren't generally considered too well in werewolf society. Being former humans, we're smaller than pure-blooded werewolves, have black-colored (thus ill-omened) wolf forms, and are therefore condemned to the lowest ranks in pack hierarchy. Upon learning I hadn't been willingly Turned, though, the reactions I've been getting over the years in various territories have ranged from cautiousness to pure fear, to the extent that I have feared for my life more than once. 

I so learned another rule, the third most important one of the four: never Turn a human without their full consent. There are real risks of them dying or turning rogue if they can't come to terms with their new nature. Considering you're not even supposed to talk to humans about werewolves in the first place, and so could not possibly get their enlightened consent before you take a bite out of them, it's a sure way of making sure Turnings don't happen too often. Smaller packs don't even have Turned wolves among them; the biggest packs usually have less than a dozen.

We, Turned wolves, are also considered a dead weight to carry for the rest of them. History says we apparently cannot truly mate and therefore cannot have children and raise a family. 

You see, werewolves are humans – sort of – who share their mind and body with a wolf's soul. It is common knowledge that werewolves born on the same moon are more compatible, even more in the case of wolves born on the same night. It is unproven scientifically but widely believed that each of them have a 'mate' – that their wolf soul has a sister somewhere, and that life throws events in their way that will eventually lead them to meet this soul sister. The inner wolf will, somehow, recognize them right away. Of course, not every werewolf will find their mate in their lifetime, and many of them find happiness anyways, but all of them look forward to it.

Not being born a werewolf, a Turned wolf would not have a soul sister in the werewolf community, and so would have no mate waiting for them. That doesn't make coupling impossible, of course, but it does make it that much harder to find a willing partner. Who in their right mind would risk losing their chance with their soul sister for a pretty Turned wolf who could never be their true mate?

Pair that with the fact that Turned werewolves are just about as rare as werebunnies, and you'll understand why my love life has been quite uneventful in the past few decades.

So I travelled from city to city, from America to Europe and back, hiding most of the time but also petitioning three times to enter a pack. Pack-life never worked out for me, though: hierarchic and membership rules change from one pack to another, and even more so from one Alpha to another. I could never fit in, whether because of my heretic origins or my incapacity to fit into the omega role reserved to Turned wolves in all the packs I've visited. I refused it with every fiber of my being, and the wolf inside me would snarl and growl each time a beta ordered me around; I hadn't come to terms with losing everything from my former life just to live a life of servitude. I was a free wolf.

I first heard of the Montreal pack three years ago while I was in London, when their old Alpha stepped down after a full century of leadership, and was replaced by a younger one named Gabriel St-Louis. While Alpha elections are a relatively regular event in werewolf kingdom, that particular pack stood out by accepting the first Turned werewolf as their Alpha in werewolf history. 

Everyone was shocked and appalled, and the event was on everyone's lips. Alphas are elected by voting, you see, after showing their pack why they are the best choice. In our modern world, being the strongest physically is no longer as important as other qualities such as intelligence, business savviness and charisma, but it was still unbelievable that they would choose an Alpha who would most probably never find a mate and contribute to the pack's future with children. Modern world or not, family and pack traditions still being what they are, I was quite surprised and – I must admit – more than a little impressed by the man who had had the gals to not only try to accomplish such a feat, but had also succeeded. 

I got more and more curious about it. With the thought that I obviously couldn't be more miserable in Canada than I was anywhere else, I petitioned to enter their pack. Once accepted, in the beginning of summer two years ago, I moved in Montreal and into an adorably small two-room apartment I found on the second story of a bakery store, on the Boulevard de Côte-Vertu. It was crazy expensive and not quiet in the least, but it was luminous, constantly smelled like fresh bread and was almost across the street from the metro station and the underground train that took me to work.

The contact in London that had helped me petition for the pack had also managed to get me a job as a "client relationship agent" at a cable company that belonged to the pack: basically a more politically correct name for "the person who deals with whinny clients". I first thought the contact had pulled a bad joke on me – I was hardly what you would call a social wolf after so many years in hiding – but I soon found out that the job was almost as good as the salary. I seemed to deal much better with people when speaking to them on the phone, I had a pretty decent boss, and the nice office they gave me on the tenth floor of the building, with its wonderful view on downtown, felt like the cherry on top of a sundae.

Life was suddenly looking to be much better here than it had been at any given moment in my past 30 years.

I quickly realized in the months following my move that the Montreal pack was much different than all the others I had seen until then. Whereas many Alphas would require services or financial compensation for the protection of their pack, it seemed the only requirement here was a strict obedience of the rules. Do not let the humans know about werewolves. Protect your pack. Do not chew on unwilling humans. And under all circumstances, as long as it didn't go against the other three rules – Asimov, remember? – obey the Alpha.

As ominous as it sounds, that last rule is quite easy to follow. In a city of millions, including a few hundred werewolves roaming everywhere, the Alpha and his council act pretty much like some sort of wolfish mafia, extending the ramifications of their power everywhere from the most popular dance clubs in town to the stolen jewelry seller in the Underground City.

I have never felt observed, mind you, but I did know that my nature was acknowledged by every werewolf I saw, with no way to know if they were regular nobodies like me, just trying to make a normal living, or secret agents in the gigantic business machine this pack seemed to be. 

And unimportant as I was, chances of ever finding myself in the Godfather's—pardon, the Alpha's presence, let alone being on the receiving end of a direct order from him, were almost nonexistent. As it was, his orders to me were apparently to follow the four rules and be a good werewolf in general, and I was more than happy to indulge if it meant I could live a happy, uneventful life in the pack.

A nagging anguish, though, had me gathering information about this mysterious, faceless Alpha from the moment I arrived. And even though I wouldn't have known his face if I saw him, I had found myself increasingly curious about Gabriel St-Louis. Not only for a young wolf, but especially a Turned wolf, not born, to claim his place as Alpha of one of the largest, richest packs in North America was an event without precedent. The cosmopolitan aspect of the city, joined with the exceptional acceptance the pack towards newcomers, showed the reflection of a good, tolerant Alpha. Which was surprising to me, to be honest, after spending half a lifetime running away from hateful, intolerant werewolves.

But life goes on. And I was thinking that perhaps it could go on for a long time here.

And of course – such is my karma – something had to change.

I was getting dressed for work on one particular morning when the phone rang. I hoped ungracefully across my bedroom on one foot, pulling my other sock on as I did, before grabbing my cellphone from the night table on the fifth ring. "Yes?" I answered breathlessly.

"Leah," a male voice said, filled with relief. "Are you in soon? Where are you?"

I glanced towards the alarm-clock in surprise. "Hum... home. I'm leaving in about 30 minutes... Monsieur Beaulieu, am I late for something?"

"No! No..." he said hurriedly, and cleared his throat. "Just... something that came up on short notice. If you could come in a bit earlier?... I'll let you out early this afternoon."

"Yeah, of course," I answered with a frown. My boss was usually much more confident than this. He was also rarely in his office at 7 in the morning. I tucked the phone against my shoulder and reached out for my other sock on the bed. I tugged it out from under Berenice the cat, and she extended all of her claws to swat playfully at my hand. "Ouch! Yes. I'll finish up getting ready and will try to grab the next train."

"Oh thank you. Thanks, Leah. I'll see you later."

"Bye." I hung up and frowned at the phone for a moment before I shrugged and tossed it on the bed. I got up and walked to the closet to pick up a blouse, shrugging it on before I turned to the mirror. I looked myself over as I did the buttons before I smoothed my black dress pants, unconsciously plucking a few white cat hairs from the fabric. Not bad, I thought as I reached up to smooth back my hair. 

A very dark brown, it also curled madly and looked half its actual length, twisting naturally in large ringlets around my shoulders. It was also an eternal struggle to make it look good in the mornings, but it seemed to agree with me that day as it fluffed gracefully around my face. I was tall, even without pumps, and dark clothes complimented my lean shape pretty well. I'd already put on makeup before the call, to make my dark blue eyes stand out, so the only thing I had to skip to make it on time to the train was breakfast. I sighed and slipped my feet into black pumps before I headed out with my purse and made my way down the stairs.

Summer was still a few weeks away, but May was being generous and I needed no coat, especially for such a short trip outside. I hurried over to the station, only briefly regretting not being able to stay out in the sun for a longer time than this, and proceeded down the stairs to catch the next metro train.

I reached my office building nearly 45 minutes earlier than the usual, but grumpy from a hot ride on an empty stomach. I patted my hair to check if it was dealing with the surprising humidity as I hurried through the Underground halls to reach the elevator under the building where I worked. I slipped in through the closing doors just in time and, with a sigh of relief, took a brief sniff of the air.

I glanced up to see a dark haired wolf standing right next to the buttons, a surprised expression fleeting across his handsome face for an instant before it closed into a damn serious frown. I held his gaze for a moment before I heard my wolf snort softly in my mind, reluctantly acknowledging his status. Beta, she whispered. Defensive. Stay low. Don't anger him. I lowered my gaze and took a step back to stand in the far corner, and stared at the tip of my shoes. "Tenth floor, please," I asked him as gently as I could, and added as an afterthought: "... Sir. Please."

He snorted softly and pressed the right buttons before he turned towards the closing doors. I looked up to find him standing right in front of me, showing me his back, and refrained from letting out a disappointed pout. Defensive or not, he was deliberately ignoring me, and I felt more than slightly self-conscious. While not necessarily breathtakingly beautiful, I generally felt quite easy on the eyes, and certainly worth more than a sneer. Apparently this particular male was too busy to notice, but with one thing and another, my last physical contact with a male went back quite a long way, and I felt hurt. I snorted softly to myself, before I felt a soothing mental pat from my wolf. Mated, she explained gently. His loss.

I wanted to hug her. I smiled down at my feet and shifted my weight on my left leg, pulling up the strap of my purse. Nice try, I sent her. I'm not sure he'd agree, though.

The man shifted uncomfortably in front of me, noticeably straightening his shoulders in his suit jacket and shifting his feet to stand between me and the door. I frowned, but turned my gaze to the doors when the elevator stopped at ground level, and two more werewolves, a blond and another dark one, stepped in when the doors opened.

An overpowering male scent suddenly filled the elevator as soon as the doors closed. Spicy and fresh, it completely covered the scents of the other two males and invaded my senses. I shut my eyes and grabbed for the metal railing beside me as my head spun and my knees buckled. I felt giddy all of a sudden, and the feeling was quite invigorating and as intoxicating as the man's scent was. My wolf was whining in joy with her tail thumping the ground in happiness, sending waves of excitement and adrenaline to rush through my veins. I inhaled again, slowly, to see if it would happen again, but quickly realized I must have been seriously embarrassing myself, and immediately opened my eyes to find the source of this amazing disturbance.

Though I was no small woman at 5'10", and often stood at the same height as many human men, the three Weres were several inches taller than me, but that wasn't surprising for werewolves. My gaze settled immediately on the one in the middle, the only fair haired one. He was a bit shorter than the other two, and leaner – not bulging with ridiculous muscles like most of our compatriots, he was built like a swimmer, with large, straight shoulders snuggly fitted into an expensive charcoal suit jacket over a white shirt. His dirty blonde hair was a snip too long and brushed the collar of his dress shirt as he tilted his head to the side, showing me a straight, strong jawline and high cheekbones. He exuded power and confidence despite the slight frown etched on his profile, and it filtered into his scent and through my senses to my overexcited wolf, who kept yipping in warning to me. 

I blinked and tried to listen to her, just as he turned his head towards me, a confused, curious look written in his pale eyes. Time stopped, and I stood paralyzed for a long moment as I stared back. I was just thinking that hazel didn't even start describing the colour of those irises, when the word my wolf was frantically repeating to me finally got through my hazy mind.

Alpha, she was saying. Alpha!

I blinked again. He was still looking at me and seemed as transfixed and confused as I felt. A pale lock of hair barred his forehead to fall into his eyes, and a tingle went through my fingers at the sight as I fought down the ridiculous sudden impulse to reach out and brush it back behind his ear. Alpha! Respect! my wolf was moaning in my mind. Look down! I gasped softly and broke the stare to look down at the tip of my shoes, clenching my fists at my sides in frustration. How embarrassing! What would he think of me?

I felt rather than saw the sudden movement of his hand as he reached out, but the soft ding! of the elevator stopped him, and the soft, lusty elevator voice announced the tenth floor. The doors opened, but none of us moved. When the doors started to close again, the dark-haired werewolf who had been there first reached out for the button to keep them opened and nervously cleared his throat. Obviously the two others had felt something was off as well. "I t'ink dis is your floor, mademoiselle," he said hesitantly in a thick French-Canadian accent, and I nodded automatically. I kept my eyes on the floor, feeling mortified but also confused as hell as I stepped forward between him and the Alpha to get out. 

I stepped out onto the carpet of the hallway and heard the ding of the elevator again behind me. I wanted to walk straight ahead towards my office, but felt compelled to stop in my tracks. I turned on my heels and looked up to find Alpha St-Louis' gaze on me still. The corners of his wide, fine mouth instantly curved up into a grin, and I saw his pale eyes narrowing in curiosity and speculation before the doors closed between us, and I was left with a thumping heart and boiling blood, alone in the hallway.


Factors of Change Ch. 01



My wolf was jumping excitedly in my mind, her tail wagging madly. Alpha! she kept repeating. I tried to shush her and breathe deeply, but she simply wouldn't stop. Alpha! she exclaimed once again. More!

***

"Does that happen often?" I asked fifteen minutes later at the team meeting, after I had been briefed on the impending mandatory visit from the Alpha into our office. Ten heads swiveled towards me, and M. Beaulieu gave me a patient look, not unlike what you would give a two-year-old who'd asked yet another question beginning with "why".

"He visits all of the pack businesses quite regularly," he said patiently. "He does have a lot to see, though, and I believe he has many other things to do. So no, he doesn't come often. Every few years, I'd say." He frowned slightly, glancing down at the papers on the conference table. "Though they usually warn in advance."

"Is that such a problem?" I asked him, and he glanced up to give me a funny look. "I mean... We answer calls, solve complaints, and retain customers. Should we be doing anything differently?"

"I'm counting on all of you to be doing everything perfectly," he corrected, and raised an eyebrow as he scanned our anxious faces. "This is the first visit we get from Alpha St-Louis since his election and I want him to come out of here thinking we are an absolutely flawless team." He smirked at that, and gave us a wink. "Which you already are. So it should be easy, right?"

***

The morning went by rather quickly, relatively speaking. The first few hours went by, and my heart leaped up into my throat each time someone appeared at my door. I kept lecturing myself: one minute in an elevator with a handsome male, and I felt like a teenager crushing on the school's star quarterback. But at the same time, I was very intrigued with the suddenness of the feeling I had experienced: how heat had spread through my blood without warning. Intrigued, also – especially – with how he had seemed as surprised and curious as I was; he had felt it too, I could have sworn it. 

What did that mean, if it meant anything? Was it only that he smelled heavenly? I smirked at the idea, but my wolf woofed gently at the memory. If it wasn't the smell alone, it certainly helped.

"Leah?"

"Mmm?" I looked up from the report I had been pretending to read, completely distracted by my thoughts, to find my boss standing in the doorframe. He gave me a small, but confident smile before he stepped aside into my office. My heart stopped for a second, before resuming at an ungodly pace.

The Alpha walked into my office, flanked with the same two betas that had been with him in the elevator. Whatever those two had seen then, they were certainly not ignoring me now and were looking at me with polite but obvious curiosity. Gabriel St-Louis, though, seemed to have frozen in his steps a few feet into the room. His lips first curved up into a handsome smile when our eyes met. Then his scent reached me.

It wafted up and around me to invade my senses again, seemingly filling the whole office with holiday spices and undeniable power. A hint of greenery and warm earth tickled my nose, sending a slight, delicious shiver down my spine. It screamed male, and strength, and safety and warmth. I wanted to smell it forever. Hell, I wanted to breathe it. My wolf moaned in agreement as I stared back at him, and felt my lips turn up into a smile that echoed his own. 

"Alpha Sir," M. Beaulieu said in a formal tone, "let me introduce you to my best client relationship agent, miss Leah Grey. Leah, meet Alpha Gabriel St-Louis and our prime and second betas, Cedric Provencher and William Griffin." The two betas nodded their head in turn at me and I nodded back solemnly, though I could hardly tear my gaze from Gabriel's. 

"It's a pleasure meeting you, Leah," he said suddenly, surprising me. Whatever I had expected, it wasn't this deep, smooth voice, and my insides melted like ice in the sun.

"The pleasure's all mine, Alpha Sir," I replied with a polite nod. You bet, my wolf barked happily, and I scolded her mentally. Down, girl!

Gabriel stepped forward, looking around my office before returning his eyes to me. "How long have you been working here, Leah?" he asked. He had a very light French accent that showed in shortened vowels, but it certainly didn't take anything away from his charm.

I cleared my throat. "Almost two years, Sir. I moved from London to Montreal and my contact there was able to find me a place in one of your companies."

"From London?" He arched an eyebrow in curiosity. He had reached my desk by then, facing me, and I was having trouble breathing. "What made you want to come here?"

You did, I almost blurted out. I felt compelled to say the truth, reassured by the respectful, but intense curiosity in his pale eyes. "I'm... I guess I'm just looking for a place to fit in, Sir."

He hadn't been expecting that, and it made him frown in confusion, but my boss lightly cleared his throat to get the men's attention before the Alpha could ask more. "Leah is wonderful. She fit in very quickly with the others when she started here, and took over many responsibilities when she came in. She leads the team beautifully and gets very high ratings from the customers."

"And yet, she only has this position," Gabriel said matter-of-factly.

M. Beaulieu's mouth opened in surprise, but he closed it quickly. "I'm sorry, Sir?"

"I do not like seeing the pack's potential and skills wasted," the Alpha added. "I thought you just said she had good leadership skills. Why is she only in customer service?"

"She..." M. Beaulieu sputtered. "It's an omega position and... She's... well she is an omega, Sir."

"An omega?" Gabriel looked back at me, surprised. I looked back for a long moment before realizing that I was only confirming the error in my status by holding his gaze. I quickly lowered it, but Gabriel chuckled and turned back to my boss. "Omegas have many talents, but usually not in leadership. You just said she did."

"The London pack gave me her status when she was hired," M. Beaulieu said quickly, growing more nervous by the second. "She was given the omega status when she... when she was... Turned." The word died on his lips as he realized his mistake, and he bit his lower lip. "Sir."

The two silent enforcers gave M. Beaulieu a glare, but Gabriel didn't look the slightest bit upset by this diplomatic faux pas. If anything, he looked like he was enjoying himself as he chuckled and walked back to face my superior. "You don't think Turned wolves can be anything else than omegas, M. Beaulieu?"

"I'm sorry. No. There are exceptions to every rule, Alpha Sir," M. Beaulieu said quickly.

"Indeed there are," the Alpha said in a tolerant tone. "And that is exactly why mademoiselle Grey here is wasting her potential."

I was suddenly annoyed that they would discuss my talents and my job as if I was a misplaced piece of art. "In all due respect, Sir," I said suddenly, and all four heads swivelled towards me, "I do like my job. I don't want a more important position."

The two betas took on equally surprised expressions, and M. Beaulieu looked endlessly relieved. Alpha St-Louis, though, narrowed his eyes at me in a thoughtful manner. He was silent for a moment, before he tilted his head to the side. "Leave us," he addressed the other men. "I would speak to Leah alone for a moment."

M. Beaulieu gave me a slightly worried look before turning and exiting with the betas. The glass door closed gently behind them, and Gabriel turned to face me again. He sighed gently and seemed to relax somewhat. I bit my lower lip. "I'm sorry if I was too forward," I hurried to explain. "I meant no disrespect..."

"It was not disrespectful, and there is no need for excuses," he said calmly, and walked over to stand in front of my desk again. "I think you simply want to avoid conflict. But in doing so, you are penalizing yourself."

I pursed my lips. He was right about me not wanting conflict with M. Beaulieu; experience had taught me I would never win anything from confrontation. "I appreciate the compliment, Sir. I just... I just don't think it's worth the trouble."

"No?" He frowned. "Do you think it was easy for me to be where I am now?" I had barely shaken my head, but he continued. "Do you not think it was worth it?"

"It isn't the same thing. You are the Alpha," I said, shaking my head. "Of course it was worth the trouble. But... what am I supposed to be? What can I hope to become? Assistant manager?" I frowned. "And then what? I would still be working here, still under M. Beaulieu's orders, and they would all think that I don't... deserve it. And eventually..." I shrugged helplessly, and let my hands drop to my sides. "I've been through this before, Sir. It's just... not worth it."

"Mmm," he simply replied, watching my face thoughtfully, before he turned and walked around the desk to stand in front of me. I tilted up my face: he was tall, at least 4 or 5 inches taller than I. His scent washed afresh around me, enveloping me in a warm cocoon, and I pursed my lips tightly to hide my reaction from him. His nostrils flared suddenly, though, and I wondered again if it felt the same for him... and what it meant. "Who do you think you should be now, Leah?" he asked in a low, raspy tone.

A human, was my first thought. Nearing 55, with a husband and a normal job, a home, and possibly grandchildren. I obviously couldn't tell him that, though. I looked up at him, at once enthralled by his gaze again. His eyes really were wonderful up close, I realized: a very pale olive green, the irises were specked with golden brown strands, and framed with thick, dark lashes most women would pay a good deal to have. "I don't know," I finally answered truthfully, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm trying to find out."

He smiled then, pleased with the answer, and lifted a hand to my chin to tilt it up. "You will not find it at everyone's feet. Look up. You can be more than what they told you to be. Take your time to figure it out, Leah," he said softly, and his thumb lightly brushed against my jaw before he slowly dropped his hand, "and let me know when you find it."

His touch had sparked a small fire in my belly, and I let out a soft breath as he lowered his hand and took a step back. There was a sudden knock on the glass door that made us both jump and look to find beta Cedric pointing at the watch at his wrist. Gabriel sighed and nodded before turning and walking towards the door. He stopped in his tracks, though, and turned around to walk to my desk again. "If you don't mind...?" he said with a smirk, reaching for the small business card holder on the corner of the table. I flushed like a schoolgirl but managed a grin, shaking my head no, and he smiled back as he took a card. "Have a nice day, mademoiselle Grey," he said with a nod. "Think of what we talked about."

"I will," I said weakly as I watched him turn and walk out of my office. He left the door open for me to see three of my colleagues standing there and staring at me, their pretty mouths open in shock. I managed to give them a small smile before my knees finally gave way and I sat down suddenly in my chair, a hand over my thumping heart and my senses lit by Gabriel St-Louis's smell and his warm, gentle touch.



Factors of Change Ch. 02



Wow! That was a wonderful first response to Chapter 1. Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! Many of you seem nervous that I might not finish this story, and you should know that it's your more than positive response that made me hurry up! This chapter comes up much faster than I first planned and I can't promise the next one will be so quick to come, but I will try to update as often as I can! 

Once again thank you for all the kind comments, feedback and voting. They are all very appreciated. 

Enjoy! 

***** 

"You gave him... what?" 

"He took it," I corrected with a sigh. Laurie's eyes were as wide as saucers and filled with a good dose of desolation, and I struggled to save my dignity. "He turned around and took one from my desk, alright? What was I supposed to do? Rip it out of his hand?" 

"What were you supposed... what happened to exchanging cellphone numbers?" She clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Her business card. Goodness, girl, now he can only call you at... at work." 

"Lore, there wasn't any time. I couldn't... move, in any case, let alone run after him like a loon in the office to give him my personal number." 

"Mmhmm, right. Alright. Maybe," she acknowledged regretfully. "But the Alpha, Lee... What if he doesn't call?" 

"Then he just won't, and that'll be it." I doubted it, though. While he had acted amused and could make anyone do whatever he wanted - literally - Gabriel St-Louis hadn't appeared to me like someone who would mess with someone else's feelings. That might have been wishful thinking, though, and I tried to keep a damper on my hopes. My telephone had been silent for the rest of the day, after all. "I... I think he will. He might, I mean." 

Laurie arched a delicate eyebrow at me. A natural omega, born from a family of werewolves who had lived on the Montreal island since the pack was first founded over three hundred years ago, she was one of the colleagues who had been the most welcoming to me at my arrival in the cable company two years ago. She had taken me out for lunch to tell me everything I needed to know about my new job, and we had become close friends very quickly. We had established, over the past few months, some sort of Monday happy hour that didn't include alcohol but gargantuan amounts of coffee. A pretty, petite blonde with pure blue eyes, Laurie had also been mated for several years and was mother to five young rowdy boys, and I suspected that Monday evening was also Desperate Escape night for the sometimes tired mother. Tonight's conversation had revolved over the excitement of the Alpha's visit at the office today, and I had told her about our private conversation. She was smart and quick, though, and I knew she would read right through me if I wasn't careful. "What makes you think that? What happened?" 

"He... well nothing happened." I bit gently on my lower lip. "He looked interested, that's all. It felt that way." 

"Felt?" Laurie's eyes narrowed slightly as she leaned forward over the table, sensing her prey. "What did it feel like?" 

"Laurie... I don't know how to explain a feeling." 

"Then tell me what he smelled like." 

I froze and frowned at her. "I beg your pardon?" 

She only smirked. "What did he smell like?" she repeated more slowly, as if I hadn't heard the first time. 

I opened my mouth to argue, but gave up and answered. "He smelled... male. And powerful. And like... rain. What it smells like at the lake after a summer rain, on a warm day," I added, and her eyes narrowed. I ignored it, and shrugged. "Like pine and fresh leaves." 

She snorted softly. "Is that all?" she asked gently, and I shook my head. 

"Spices," I finished in a whisper. "Nutmeg and cinnamon." 

"Sounds yummy," she said softly, arching an eyebrow at me. 

I nodded. "I could have breathed it all day," I admitted, and we sat silently for a few long minutes. Laurie frowned and took a slow sip of her cup of coffee, deep in her thoughts. As for myself, I had drifted back in memory to remember the scent again. 

"I didn't smell that," she finally said. I glanced up at her in confusion, and she shook her head. "He came into my office as well, and I shook his hand when I was introduced to him. I smelled his status as Alpha, of course, and a hint of the rain you mentioned... but no leaves, no pine, no spices. Are you sure it was him, Lee?" 

"I'm sure," I said firmly. "I nearly fainted when he stepped closer. It was overwhelming." 

She stared at me, her baby blue eyes widening. "Lee... do you realize what that means?" 

I frowned at her in confusion, before what she was implying finally dawned on me. "Laurie, it can't. I can't. It's impossible." 

She pursed her lips. "But you're describing it exactly. The shaky knees, the overwhelming scent nobody else can detect... Not being able to look away." She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "And he seemed to feel the same, from what you said. That's how it feels like to find your mate, Leah." 

"But it's impossible," I repeated weakly. In truth, my heart had started a crazy dance in my chest at the thought. I hadn't allowed myself to formulate the possibility, expecting disappointment, but having my best friend say it out loud sent my hopes flaring. "I was Turned, Lore. So was he. Turned wolves don't have mates." 

"Turned wolves have never found their mates," she corrected. "They usually aren't elected Alpha of their pack, either. It wouldn't be the first time our young Alpha flushes the norm down the drain." She smiled at me as she took another sip of coffee, obviously pleased with herself, and her eyes creased in amusement over the rim of her cup. "You're right, you know. He'll call." 

*** 

I came home late that night after my evening with Laurie. Despite it being a Monday and having to work the day after, I wasn't in a hurry to go to bed. I had a feeling I would have trouble falling asleep, and I wasn't wrong. I tossed and turned in my bed for two hours, trying in vain to free my mind, but it proved impossible. I finally got up around 1 AM and made myself some herbal tea, and stalked my apartment for a while before sitting down on the couch to browse on my computer. 

The small dingle of my cellphone got my attention, and I picked it up. 

"Are you sleeping yet?" asked a text from Laurie. I smiled and texted her back. 

"Of course not." 

"Camping this weekend?" came the reply. "Let the wolf out." 

I nearly answered no, but hesitated, my thumb hovering over the send button. Camping with Laurie's family would be fun, and it would do me some good to let out my wolf for a night or two. That was what the Lake was for, after all. 

Some old, traditional werewolf packs still live on compounds, away from cities. They make sure to be surrounded by forest and hidden from the humans' view, but with modern technologies like satellite imaging, they run the risk of eventually catching the eye. By living right inside large cities in an organized, modern fashion, most packs today make sure to stay hidden from the human eye by living right in front of it. 

Of course, wolves don't run in the streets, and our hidden half does need to run often. Most urban packs, keeping that in mind, have a more traditional compound somewhere, in a discreet place where their members can occasionally join in celebration and run in their wolf form instead of living there permanently. 

The Montreal pack owns all of the lots surrounding a small lake in the Laurentians, about an hour and a half drive north of the city. The pack started buying the lots around the small, recluse Lac Caribou from the moment they were made available in the end of the 19th century. It owned all of the land around the lake by the beginning of the 1900s, and built many small lake houses around it. From above and for the common observer, it looks exactly like any other lake in the Laurentides region: a lake surrounded by summer houses, a getaway for city people trying to escape during weekends. Wolves from Montreal and its suburbs go there, where they can either pick a room from the two dozen lake houses or so, or plant their tent and set up camp on one of the many available clear spaces around the lake. 

While I had already made up my mind about staying in Montreal, the compound was one of the reasons that really convinced me to stay. The clear, deep grey waters of the cold lake, the distance from the city and most humans, the steep hills and mountains surrounding the lake and the feeling of the fresh wind through my fur as I ran across the hills were all reasons to settle down here. 

With the nice weather we had had in the previous weeks, it would be beautiful at the lake. I wasn't sure if the higher members of the pack would be there but... Camping was definitely a good idea, and I replied so to my eager friend. 

*** 

Thank goodness my shift was almost over. 

I hung up the phone with a sigh, and glanced at the clock. Apparently only ten minutes had gone by since the last time I checked, and I reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose against a growing headache behind my eyes. 

It had been a Bad Day. 

I had spent the better part of the morning and the afternoon on the phone with angry clients who had just received a letter warning them of a raise of monthly fees. I had managed well with most of them, but my nerves felt raw and used, and my patience was waning. 

I had tried not to hope for a phone call from Gabriel St-Louis, but each time the phone rang, a client, a complaint or a problem to solve turned out to use up my time and my patience. At the end of my shift, I was riled up and tired, but most of all disappointed that the Alpha hadn't called me, and angry at myself for even thinking that he would. 

I had started to pick up my things to get ready to go home, so when the phone rang three minutes before 5, I rolled my eyes and grabbed the receiver with the definite intention of making it a quick one. "Hello, this is Leah," I answered automatically, unable to keep the edge from my voice. "How can I help you today?" 

"Hmm, let me think," said a deep, accented voice. My heart skipped a beat as I processed it, reluctant to acknowledge its owner, but then he chuckled softly, and my heart soared. "It sounds like you are having a bad day. Perhaps I should be the one helping you." 

"Alpha St-Louis," I said, and couldn't keep the smile off my face as I sat back into my chair. "How do you propose to help making my day better?" 

"It depends." I could hear the smile in his voice as well. "I have a favor to ask, first. Sort of a condition to my... help." 

"What is that?" 

"Call me Gabriel. Please." He pronounced it in French, rolling the R deliciously. Warm blood surged up to my face, and I thanked the telephone for hiding my blush. 

"I think I can certainly do that," I replied, and tried it on my tongue. "Gabriel." 

There was a slight pause on the line, and then a soft, breathless chuckle. "That will certainly do," he said in a lower tone. "Do you have any plans for dinner, Leah?" 

"No," I answered, and felt my heartbeat quicken noticeably. "Nothing in particular." 

"Could I interest you in sharing it with me, then?" 

"I would love to," I breathed instantly, and shut my eyes as he laughed softly. I needed to find a way to make him laugh more often. "When?" 

"I'm on Peel St. and should be out in about 15 minutes. I could pick you up downstairs at your workplace, in the lobby." 

I looked down at my attire automatically. I was dressed rather conservatively for work, with a tight black skirt that reached a bit above my knees, a white blouse and my best black leather pumps. Granted, it was one of my favorite blouses and it had a rather plunging neckline, but it was still work clothes, and not what I would have chosen for having dinner with Alpha Gabriel St-Louis. Besides, Laurie would kill me before I reached the lobby if I tried going out on a first date dressed like that. 

On the other hand, it all came down to the choice between seeing him in fifteen minutes, or planning something later and risking it being cancelled - or him not calling again. He was the Alpha, and a man in demand; I was sure he dealt daily with emergencies that went against his plans. Something told me I had to grab on the opportunity, or risk having to wait much longer. My heart had made the decision for me before I even reached this conclusion, though. "It sounds like a great idea," I agreed. "I, hum... Nothing fancy, I hope? I mean... I only have my work clothes..." 

"I know a good little place. And no," he said with a chuckle, "nothing fancy. What you have on now will be perfect, I'm sure." 

We exchanged a few polite farewells before hanging up, and I stared at my telephone for a good 10 seconds before I shot out of my chair and into the hallway. "Laurie!" I breathed as I stopped in front of her office. She looked up at me in surprise. She had been shrugging her jacket on and was obviously on her way out, but she stopped and looked me over, arching an eyebrow in confusion. "He just called," I simply said, and her mouth dropped open. 

"Oh," she let out, and then her eyes widened. "Oh! Lee!" She giggled - really - and sauntered over to me. "Did he ask you out? When?" 

I bit my lower lip. "In fifteen minutes. He's picking me up here." 

She froze, and let her gaze slowly sweep down my figure down to my feet. "Hmm," she simply let out. I sighed in frustration. 

"I'm sure I look fine," I grumbled as I looked down. I brushed a hand against my flat stomach, smoothing the fabric of my blouse in an attempt to calm myself, though my blood pressure was rising dangerously. "He said it wasn't anything fancy." 

"Says the rich guy," she pointed out, rather unnecessarily. "But yes, you always look good. Just..." She pursed her lips in thought for a moment, and turned around to grab her purse from her desk. "Come with me." 

I followed her down the hall to the ladies' room, she fumbling about blindly in her purse, me glancing nervously at the clock. Once we got there, she stationed me in front of the full-length mirror and proceeded to fix me. After some quick makeup freshening and a small argument about the length of my skirt, she reached up and undid the top button of my blouse. 

"Much better," she decided with a nod. 

I glanced in the mirror. Better, but... "Should I lose the nylon stockings?" I asked, brushing a nervous hand against my stomach. 

"Goodness, no, keep them," she said, her eyes widening, and tilted her head to the side. "Try taking down your hair, honey." 

I reached up and patted the loose, fragile bun I had managed to trap my hair in that morning, and gave her a wry smile. "I can't try that. I'll never be able to put it back up if it looks awful." 

"Advienne que pourra, then," she said with a chuckle, and reached up for the pins in my hair. She pulled them all out before I could stop her, and my curly brown hair spilled down over my shoulders to frame my face. She reached up and fluffed it gently, fixing a few curls. "I don't even know why you're so stubborn about keeping it up," she said softly, her fingers tucking a lock back. "You look gorgeous, Lee." 

"Thank you so much," I said, with feeling. I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and said goodbye, and she waved to me as I grabbed my purse and headed for the elevator. Don't be late, my wolf said excitedly. Don't be late! The elevator seemed to go down twice as slowly as usual, and I nearly ran out of it when it finally reached the lobby of the building on ground floor. 

I hadn't made Gabriel wait, thankfully. He was just walking in through the glass doors as I stepped out of the elevator. He came in with another man, who I thought was one of his betas - Cedric? Or was it William? I couldn't remember. Did they follow him everywhere? - and didn't notice me right away, so I could look at him at leisure. 

I was more than relieved to see him dressed rather upper casually as well, in black slacks and a pale grey shirt; he had what I guessed to be his matching black suit jacket hung over his arm, but wore no tie. The dress shirt fit snuggly around his chest and wide shoulders, complimenting his lean shape. His dark blond hair was a bit messy, probably mused from a day of running his fingers through it, and fell into his eyes again, even as he reached up and smoothed it back. His scent reached me through the crowd of people circulating in the lobby, but both men had a serious look on their faces as they spoke, so I hesitated to step closer right away. 

As if he had read my thoughts, he lifted his head suddenly and his pale gaze scanned over the crowd until his eyes fell on me. He smiled instantly, all sternness evaporating from his features and freeing a hoard of butterflies in my stomach. I smiled back at him and, before I even realized I'd moved, found myself walking to him. "Bonjour, Leah," he greeted me with a nod when I reached the duo. 

"Hello, Gabriel," I answered, and turned to the other man. He really was one of the two men who had accompanied him on the Alpha's visit the day before - I recognized him as the one who had walked into the elevator with him. He was about an inch taller than Gabriel, with shiny black hair cropped short. His face bore the lines of a long groomed pack enforcer but, despite the thin scar that ran across the line of his jaw, he was very handsome, with surprisingly homely features and warm, chocolate coloured eyes most women would love to get lost in. Those were creased in amusement at the moment, and he immediately held out his hand to me. 

"William Griffin," he said with a mischievous smirk as I shook his hand. "Pleased to meet you again, Miss Grey." 

"The pleasure is all mine," I replied, and slid a look to Gabriel. He smirked back, and William cleared his throat. 

"I'll be in my car, boss," he simply said. He gave me a short, polite nod, and turned on his heels to leave us. 

Gabriel watched him go, and I took the opportunity to look at him. He either hadn't shaved that morning or was one of those men whose beard grew quickly, I thought, as I noticed the pale but rough stubble on his cheeks. He had high cheekbones and a long, straight nose; it was definitely more the profile of an aristocrat than that of a ruthless warrior. His full mouth twitched slightly as he watched his beta walk through the door, showing the wrinkle of a small dimple in his cheek. I smiled and felt better at the sight of it. An aristocratic prince he might be, but at least he was one who smiled often. He suddenly turned his head to look at me, interrupting my thoughts. "Are you ready?" he asked, and offered me his arm. "Do you need anything before we go?" 

"Only if you're certain I really don't have to go home and change," I replied, and slid my hand in the crook of his elbow. It was terribly warm and I could feel lean, firm muscles beneath the soft fabric of his dress shirt. My wolf whined hungrily, and I barely refrained from squeezing his arm. Oh dear. "You said it was nothing fancy." 

"Nothing fancy," he repeated with a shake of his head. "It's very casual, I assure you. You're nearly overdressed." He smirked down at me. "Not that I'll complain." 

I could feel a traitorous blush creeping up my neck and was thankful when we reached the doors and he looked away from me to reach for the handle. He led me outside into the dimming sunshine and I followed him down the sidewalk to a small, expensive-looking black sports car that was parked on the side of the road. I repressed a whistle as he leaned in to open the passenger door for me, and I smiled at him. "Only two seats? I sort of was hoping for a chauffeur." 




Factors of Change Ch. 02



He laughed and narrowed his eyes at me. "I love driving. And you do have a chauffeur." 

I got in with a chuckle and he shut the door. I breathed in and shut my eyes in pleasure. Under the warm scent of leather and the lingering new car smell was his own scent, surrounding me. I took a long breath that was nearly a gasp for air, just before he opened the driver's door and got in. We need to get used to it, I thought to my wolf, or I'll make a fool of myself before the night is over. She only snorted at me, unusually silent. Apparently she was leaving this in my hands. 

"It's not very far from here," Gabriel said as he started the engine. "Granted there is not too much traffic, of course. Which is probably wishful thinking." 

"Where is it?" 

"Dans le Vieux-Montréal," he said. "It's called 'Le cochon dingue'. Have you heard of it?" 

"No, I don't believe I have." I laughed. "The... Crazy Pig? That's original." 

He smiled, but kept his eyes on the road. "It's probably more a play on the Guinea pig's name in French. At least I hope that is what it is, and that they did not name it after the cook." 

I laughed, and we made small talk about my adventures in customer service that day. After my initial deep physical reaction to him, I realized I was quite comfortable around him: he was confident and relaxed, and the few silences that settled between us weren't awkward but rather an occasion to sit back and look at him, as he carefully manoeuvered the small car through the sea of pedestrians that invaded the cobbled streets of Old Montreal whenever the spring air was warm enough. He miraculously found us a parking spot and helped me out of the car and over to a discreet bistro that stood on the corner of two streets. I smiled at the sight of the golden pig engraved on the wooden sign hanging above the door, before he ushered me inside. 

The building was several hundred years old and, as were most restaurants and shops in the old part of the city, it was made of many former apartments, their walls brought down to create a large open room. They had kept intact many nooks and corners, though, to give the patrons some privacy. It was warmly lit inside, and decorated in a very colonial way, with coach lamps hung on the stone walls, old wood beams on the ceiling and checkered tablecloths on the tables. I liked it, and suddenly realized that the place was filled with humans - I could smell no other werewolves than us both. It was a human hostess who greeted us and led us to our table, and a human waitress who came by to give us menus and fill our glasses with iced water before leaving us to decide what we would order. "Hmm," I let out, intrigued, as I looked around. Gabriel glanced at me over the wine card. 

"Is there something wrong? Don't you like it?" 

"Oh, I do," I answered honestly with a shake of my head. I did like it, in fact, a lot. We had been seated right next to a window from where we could see people strolling by outside on the sidewalk, and the old wooden window panes had been cracked open, letting in a soft, fresh spring breeze inside. It was a week night and still early for dinner, so the restaurant was half empty and rather quiet, and the whole place gave me a warm, homely feeling that was only reinforced by the genuine lit fireplace in the corner of the room. "I'm just curious about it," I continued. He arched an eyebrow at me in a silent question, and I smirked. "This isn't one of your places. We're the only wolves here." 

He chuckled. "We are. The pack owns a lot, but not everything in town. And no, it does not own this place, much as I would like it to." 

"Isn't this encouraging competition?" I teased, and he shook his head. 

He looked at me for a few moments, before lowering the wine card onto the table. "This place gives me something all of our own restaurants cannot." 

"And what is that?" 

"Privacy." He turned to look around the restaurant. "Here, no one knows me. And no one knows you. Do you know what would have happened if I had taken you out for dinner in one of the pack's restaurants?" 

I already had a good idea what he meant, but merely smiled at him and rested my chin on my crossed fingers. "Enlighten me." 

"We would have been given the best table, without me having to ask for it," he said. He smirked and reached for his glass of water to take a sip. "They would have called me Monsieur and Sir and we would have eaten the best food in town." He arched an eyebrow at me. "They also would have stared at you all evening, wondering who is this woman having dinner with the Alpha, and would have come to me with all sorts of questions about this or that, only to have a chance to get a closer look at you and take wages about why I would invite you out for dinner..." His smile widened over the rim of his glass. "The pack is a very social thing and a very tightly knit group, and it is what I love about it... but I wanted to go out with only you tonight." 

A warm, fuzzy feeling bloomed in my chest like a daisy at dawn, both at his smile and his admission. "And what about your friend? William? Isn't he waiting for you somewhere?" 

"He is. He is watching, outside." He nodded to the window. "He is on the terrace of the café on the other side of the street. I insisted that he go there, otherwise he would have waited in his car and not eaten at all." 

"Overprotective much?" I asked with a grin. 

He laughed. "He takes his job very seriously. And I would trust him with my life," he added, more seriously. 

"He's a good bodyguard," I commented, and he smirked. 

"He's a good friend. One of the best I have." 

"How long have you known him?" I asked, curious. 

"About fifteen years," he answered. "And I have known Cedric almost thirty years. We have always been close." He reached out and tapped a long finger on the leather cover of the menu in front of me. "You should choose; the waitress will come soon." 

I smiled and opened the bound menu. I scanned the offers and felt my mouth water as I took in the various pictures: I really hadn't had much to eat all day, and hadn't realized until now how hungry I really was. I hoped I wouldn't embarrass myself and entirely eat a gigantic plate. I glanced up at him to catch him casually looking outside the window instead of the menu. "You've already chosen? Any advice? Everything looks so good." 

He nodded. "Everything is," he pointed out with a chuckle. "I come here for the steak and fries. The homemade sausages are good, as well. Or the fish." He smirked. "I had no idea what you like, and they have a bit of everything here." 

I smiled back and went back to my menu. I figured fish was a bad idea on a date and finally settled on the steak as well. We gave our order of food and wine to the waitress before going back to our conversation. He seemed genuinely curious and asked many questions about my work, my neighbourhood, my interests. He didn't ask me anything about the circumstances in which I had been Turned, which I thought odd but appreciated immensely. I wasn't sure if I wanted to lie to him, but I certainly didn't want to tell him the truth, either. A tolerant pack Montreal might be, but I had no idea what the policy was about unwillingly Turned Weres, and had no intention of finding out on my first date with their Alpha male. 

When the food came, the conversation became scarcer as we ate: the steak was juicy and wonderful and it melted against my palate in an explosion of savours, and the homemade fries were golden and crispy, and some of the best I had had in a long time. "This place really is amazing," I marvelled between two eager bites. "Why haven't I tried it before?" 

"It has been open for about forty years, too," he said, his eyes on his plate. He reached for a fry, dipped it in mayo, and popped it into his mouth. "It started off as a small family business, but was sold a while ago, to open more franchises." There was an odd tone to his voice as he said that, and I glanced up curiously at him, but he carefully kept his gaze on his plate. "So," he suddenly said with the definite tone of someone who wanted to change the subject, "you moved here from London? You are not British, though." 

"No. I'm originally from Philadelphia." I gave a half-shrug. "I moved around quite a bit in the past two decades, trying to find my place." 

He nodded silently and picked a fry. "And you have been here two years," he remembered, and arched an eyebrow at me. "You do mean to stay a while, yes?" He wasn't even trying to be subtle, and I laughed. 

"I like it a lot so far, in fact. I made some good friends and it was much easier to fit in than in other places. You've always been here, though, right?" I asked. "You have the local accent. It sounds nothing like the one from France." 

He nodded in agreement. "I was born in the suburbs and grew up there. I moved on the island a few decades ago and never moved away." He chuckled. "You have been to France?" 

I nodded and looked out the window, to the centuries old buildings outside, and smiled back at him. "This place is different from everywhere I've been. The pack is different." I bit my lower lip, keeping my eyes on his. Do it, my wolf nudged me. He will like it. "Their Alpha is certainly something different." 

He did like it. His eyes narrowed slightly in amusement, and the corners of his mouth quirked up. "How is he so different?" 

My wolf woofed in my mind and I nibbled on my lower lip. How far might I go? If he felt the same around me as I did around him, any advance would be welcome, but if he didn't, and I was being too forward... The excitement and rushing of my blood had tuned down to a dull, comfortable hum, but I also felt strangely oblivious to our surroundings, with him at the center of all my senses. Did it feel the same to him? "Well he takes me out for dinner, for one, so that's a first," I started, leaning forward and crossing my arms over the edge of the table. "From what I can tell of the past two years I've spent here, he's very respected and kind." His smile widened as he took the same position as me, arching an eyebrow to encourage me to continue. "He's a little arrogant, though, but he leads a very tolerant and welcoming pack." I paused, and nodded. "That is new." 

His eyes softened. "You have seen a lot of intolerance, haven't you?" 

He hadn't really meant it as a question, I thought, and I didn't feel the need to answer it. I looked down to my half empty glass of wine, gently wiping the condensation from it with my thumb. "I like it here, Gabriel," I simply said, more softly. "It's a good pack, a good place to be." 

He watched me for a moment before he reached for his own glass and lifted it towards me. "Here is to new beginnings, then," he said softly. 

I glanced up at him and smiled, and lifted my own glass to tap it gently against his with a soft ding. "To new beginnings." 

"And fateful meetings," he added, and his eyes creased in mischief over his glass as he took a sip. I felt my face flush as I dove into my own glass of Chablis, and heard his deep, honest laugh as I downed the whole thing with a shiver. 

Maybe he did feel the same. 

*** 

The white Clock Tower was lit up from below, peaceful against the dark cloudless sky. Behind it, Jacques-Cartier Bridge stood solidly over the waters of the St-Lawrence, so calm at this time of day. I had heard of Clock Tower beach before, as one of the very few beaches around town, but had never gotten around to visit it. I hadn't visited much at all since my arrival, in fact, and Gabriel had promised to remedy to that. 

We had strolled down the cobbled streets after our dinner until we reached the old port. He had talked the whole way, explaining the history of this building and that one, and I listened, admiring this new view of the city, until we both stood by the railing on the sidewalk by the old tower. I had eventually inherited his suit jacket along the way as the temperature dropped; while the gesture seemed like a terrible cliché, the air was getting cold, his jacket had retained his scent and his warmth and simply felt wonderful around me, and, well, it was just a dang gentlemanly thing to do, considering he wore nothing but a thin dress shirt under it. He, on the other hand, didn't look like he was feeling cold at all, having rolled up his sleeves and showing a good bit of lean, muscled forearms that I happily held on to. 

"It is a memorial, for sailors lost at sea during the First World War," Gabriel was now explaining about the tower as he leant on the railing. "Its mechanism is a replica of the one in the Elizabeth Tower in London, without Big Ben. It has no chime at all, in fact." 

"That's a shame," I whispered, meaning it, and Gabriel nodded and fell silent. I stared at the tower for a while longer before turning my head to look at him. He had crossed his arms over the railing and looked thoughtful as he kept his eyes on the city lights across the large river. I admired his strong, defined profile, with his long, straight nose and the relaxed curve of his mouth, and the pale stubble on his cheeks, catching the light of the street lamps above us. I reached up before I could stop myself and touched a pale lock of hair that hung against his forehead, tracing it with a finger before gently tucking it back. He shut his eyes briefly at the touch before he turned his head to look straight at me. I stared back, wondering if my heart would thump its way out of my chest if it went any faster. 

I started withdrawing my hand but he suddenly reached up and wrapped his fingers around it, holding it tight against his shoulder as he straightened up and faced me. "What is this?" he whispered. His pale eyes bore into mine, and I could read in them the same burning, the same want, but also the same confusion as the one I felt. "What is happening to us?" 

"Do we have to give it a name?" I breathed, and his lips turned up. 

"I am only trying to understand," he said, and reached up with his other hand. I felt his fingers gently brush up against my cheek before tucking a dark curl back from it. "You have been the only thing on my mind since I walked into that elevator." 

I felt very hot. His fingers were terribly warm and I could feel the rush of blood in my veins as I blushed. He still had a hold of my right hand, so I laid the other against his chest to move closer to him. I opened my mouth to speak, but he leaned in before I could say anything, his hand cupping my cheek as he bent to kiss me. 

My fingers tightened against the fabric of his shirt and I leaned up to answer his kiss, closing my eyes better to savor the rush of sensations that washed over me like a tidal wave. He tasted faintly of wine and food and I wanted more, but I could feel his smile against my lips as he purposely kept the kiss soft and light, taking his time to taste me. I moaned against his lips and pulled myself closer, asking for more, and he finally put an end to the tease. His hand let go of mine for his arm to wrap around me, and the other moved to the back of my head. His fingers tangled themselves in my loose hair as his lips parted and he angled his mouth over mine in a deep kiss. His tongue pushed and danced with mine, demanding, possessing, no longer soft and no longer light. The outside world spun, blurred and disappeared, leaving nothing but this moment, his mouth, his hair brushing against my face, and his arm wrapped tightly around me. 

Safety. It was heaven. 

We parted, both trembling, several minutes later. He kept his eyes closed as his forehead rested against mine, his breath quick and warm against my lips. I could feel his heart beneath my hands, thumping loudly. Mine wasn't any better: it threatened to break out of my ribcage, beating in tune with his. I simply clung to his shirt, thankful for his supporting arm; my knees felt wobbly and I wasn't sure if I wouldn't simply melt down and crumble to the ground if he wasn't holding me up. "Leah," he whispered, the sound of it barely audible. I wasn't sure if he was simply saying it, or trying to get my attention, so I simply opened my eyes and looked up to find his incredible hazel eyes open an inch away from mine. He didn't say anything, though. What was there more to say? 

I remembered my conversation with Laurie the day before, about how she said it felt to meet one's true mate. I wondered, not for the first time, if that was what it was. I could also tell, from Gabriel's thoughtful expression, that he might have been wondering the same thing. But I had been told and convinced for the past 30 years that it would never happen to me... that it had never happened before. 

I also hadn't forgotten that Gabriel had been human as well, although I supposed - I realized then that I had no idea of his real age - he had been a Were for a much longer time than I. He, too, had been told all his were-life that he would never find his mate, that it was impossible. What if this was a human thing? I had had crushes before, after all. Was I human-crushing on the Alpha, and he on me? Not ever having a true mate didn't keep us from dating after all, did it? Humans don't have mates. They fall in love the old way: by getting to know each other. 

Falling in love. I didn't mind having to maybe do that. I reached up and touched his face again, gently rubbing against the rough stubble on his cheek. He shut his eyes with a sigh as my fingers touched his skin, and I marvelled at how the warmth from it seemed to seep through the tip of my fingers, spreading into my bloodstream. "I feel so confused," I admitted to him. "My mind is spinning." 

He smiled softly. "It is maybe getting too late to think too much," he offered. "You should stop." 

I laughed and grinned at him. "I don't think I can." He smiled back and leaned in to kiss me gently. I tucked my face into the curve of his neck when it broke, sighing in contentment when I felt his arms tightening around me. We stood that way in silence for a long moment, both of us deep in our thoughts, when a distant wolf-whistle, followed by a few laughs from afar, made us look up and over to the clock tower, where a small group of teenagers were laughing and making lewd gestures in our direction. I chuckled and smirked back at Gabriel to find him frowning disapprovingly at them. "They're kids," I amended, patting him gently on the chest. "Let's go back to the car." 

He nodded and looked down at me. "I should take you home," he said. He reached up to tuck a curl behind my ear. "You must have work tomorrow, non?" 

I sighed. "Now why would you go and remind me of that? We were having a good time." 

He laughed and pulled back from me, and offered me his arm. "Yes, we were," he said, ignoring the first part of what I said. "And if you want me to, I will give you many more nights like this." 

*** 

"Right here," I said, pointing over Gabriel's arm to the small bakery across the street. He parked as I looked up to the second story of the small building. The large window of my living room was dark, and I pursed my lips at the thought of how cold my bed would be. How cold and alone I would be. 

Gabriel got out of the car and walked around it to get my door opened, and we crossed the street together to the door that led inside to the two apartments on the second story. He followed me up the narrow staircase inside, and stopped with me when we got to my door. I paused when we reached it, keys in hand, and turned to look up at him in the dim lighting of the single ceiling light. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do." 

"You usually say goodnight," he said, amused. "It's polite." 

"Really? I mean... I don't know..." I looked down at my hands, fiddling with my keychain. "Part of me wants to ask you to come inside," I breathed. "And the other... The other doesn't..." 




Factors of Change Ch. 02



"The other does not ask a man to come inside on the first date?" he provided, feeling helpful. I looked up at him in confusion and he smirked. "Which part is that?" 

"The old human part. The wolf part doesn't care what the human part thinks of conventions." I frowned and looked down again, embarrassed. "And you're a wolf." 

His hand moved in and tilted my face up again, and I was forced to look into those dizzying eyes of his. "You know," he said slowly, "I am human, too." He gave a half-shrug. "Or I was, not so long ago." 

"I just don't know what to do with this... this," I explained lamely, dropping my hands to my sides. I stared into his eyes, willing him to understand. "Why are we drawn to each other like this, Gabriel? Is it just a crush? A fling? A coup de foudre?" I was rambling, upset, and he narrowed his eyes, but didn't stop me. "Or is it really our wolves who are telling us something? We're not supposed to, it's impossible, everyone says that..." He finally interrupted me by leaning in and kissing me soundly, and I closed my eyes in surprise and surrendered instantly as he held me by the arms, pulling me closer. 

"You said it does not need a name," he whispered against my lips when the kiss broke. "Nothing is impossible. We can keep it that way until we figure it out." He looked down at me. "Until then, we do what makes your human part comfortable. I will be patient. Deal?" 

"I'm not patient at all," I whined softly, making him laugh. I bit my lower lip, but smiled and leaned up to give him a gentle kiss on the lips. "Deal. Thank you, Gabriel." He smiled and returned the kiss much more thoroughly, and I was a bit breathless by the time he broke it and took a step back. 

"Bonne nuit, Leah," he said softly. 

"Goodnight," I answered, and watched him turn around and walk down the stairs. I heard the door downstairs open and close, and sighed as I unlocked the door and stepped inside my apartment. 

I dropped the keys on the small table by the door as I turned the lock back on the door, and quickly made my way to the window to look down at the street. Gabriel had crossed it and was leaning against a car parked right behind his own, speaking to the driver through the open window. The street lamp light caught on the driver's face, and I recognized the dark William as he smirked up at his boss and best friend, a teasing look on his face. I switched my gaze to Gabriel, admiring the rear view as he leaned slightly forward, his long legs and round backside perfectly encased in the black slacks, and his wide shoulders moving beneath the light fabric of his dress shirt. He was unrolling his sleeves as he spoke and laughed, and I realized, glancing down at my own clothes, that I was still wearing his suit jacket over my shoulders. 

I laughed at this new cliché. My eyes watched Gabriel as he left William and walked back to his own car, and stayed on the small sports car until it disappeared from my view. Feeling like a teenager yet again, I lifted the collar to my nose and took a deep breath of his fresh, spicy scent. It washed over my senses and relaxed me instantly, and I suddenly felt like a junkie looking for her fix. I wrapped myself in the jacket more tightly and smiled at the thought, ambling through the dark hallway to my bedroom. A fix that would come soon, I hoped. The jacket wouldn't hold his smell for a long time.



Factors of Change Ch. 03



Once again, thank you all so much for your wonderful feedback, comments and votes. I am truly addicted to getting them. Thank you also for any constructive criticism: I try to take everything into consideration. I'm glad you like my different take on werewolves, and hope you keep on liking this. This chapter still contains no sex (although no one has actually complained about it yet), but it does hold the promise of it. Soon. Don't worry!

Also, I want to thank Doctime for his generous help in editing this chapter. Merci, merci! I have to admit that I added bits and pieces to the chapter after he sent me the corrected version, so any mistakes I might have clumsily added are solely my fault. 

Enjoy!

*****

My cellphone battery had died. 

I cursed myself, as I stood in the packed metro train on the way home after work the next day. Keeping one arm hooked around the metal handrail, I stared down at the dark, blank screen of my useless cellphone. I had to admit that at first I wasn't too surprised that Gabriel hadn't called all day: a lot of people don't call immediately after a first date. A lot of people do, though. And now I was thinking that maybe he had called, and of course my phone was dead.

You didn't call him either, an annoyed voice reminded me in my mind. I shut my wolf out, however, and stuffed my dead phone in my purse with a huff. She was right, though. I did have his number. And he had the excuse of being a busy man. 

I quickly stepped out of the train and made my way through the small crowd and up the station stairs to reach the street. Rain was pouring outside and I hurried up to cross the street and reach my home. I dropped purse and shoes by the door as I went inside, and went straight to my bedroom to plug my phone in.

I watched anxiously as the phone came to life and the provider's logo popped up on the screen. "If he hasn't called, I will," I whispered to myself, waiting for the phone to load. Then it dinged, and I smiled as it told me I had a missed call and a voice mail. I pressed the button and brought the plugged phone to my ear.

"Hello, Leah," Gabriel's accented voice came, deep and calm; I shivered at the sound of it. "It is... almost five, so you probably are on your way home. I really am sorry I could not call earlier." There were voices behind him, sounds of people chatting, as if he was in a restaurant of some sort. "I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated our night out yesterday, and that I would very much like to see you again soon. Please call me back, so that we can plan it, alright? I will speak to you soon." He hung up, and I glanced at the clock. Five thirty. Not too long. I pressed the call button, and held the phone against my shoulder as it rang, shrugging off my wet cardigan and tossing it into the hamper while I waited.

He picked up on the third ring. "Oui allo?"

"Hello Gabriel," I said, sitting down on my bed.

"Leah, hi," he replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice. He was still in the same loud place, but the voices faded slightly as he probably walked away from his group. "Have you gotten my message?"

"I just did. Thank you."

"What for?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I liked my evening too," I explained, leaning back to lie down on my mattress. "I would really much like to go out with you again, Gabriel."

"That is very good to know," he said slowly, and paused briefly. "When can I see you, Leah? Do you have any plans for the rest of the week?"

"Not much. I'm having lunch with a friend tomorrow." I suddenly remembered something. "Oh and some camping at the lake this weekend. Will you be at the compound?"

He laughed softly. "Where the pack goes, I go," he pointed out. "And pretty much the whole pack is at the compound on weekends. Yes, I will most likely be there."

I chuckled. He was right, though; with the coming of the nice weather and the summer approaching, every wolf that did not work on weekends would move their family to the lake for two days. Summer vacations would be spent there, as well. "Will I see you there, then?"

"It is only Wednesday," he pointed out. "I would like to see you before that." That was certainly a pleasing answer and was about to say something when I heard someone else's voice close by on the phone, raised in interrogation. The sound was muffled for a second, and Gabriel sighed. "I have to go, Leah. I am that sorry."

"It's alright," I reassured him. "Call me when you're not busy."

He laughed. "I should probably call you before that, or I never will get a chance with you. Have a nice evening, Leah."

"You too, Gabriel." I hung up and looked down at the screen for a few moments, before I dropped it on the bed next to me and spread my arms open over the thick comforter. My cat Berenice instantly climbed on the bed and onto my stomach, curling up and purring like a Harley Davidson. I shut my eyes as I absentmindedly ran my fingers through her black and white fur, replaying the conversation and recalling the sound of his voice. He wants us to give him a chance, my wolf snorted softly, and I laughed. Heck yeah.

***

There was rarely as uneventful a day as Thursday. Laurie called in sick and cancelled our lunch, the hours ticked by as quickly as a snail on Valium, and my cellphone was as silent as the dead. I refrained from calling. I was eager, but he had said he would call, and I would give it a chance. 

But the day went by without a call.

It was also, ironically, the best night sleep I got all week. 

On Friday, I left work early to go home and plan everything for the camping trip I was leaving for the next day. I packed up a small bag of luggage, took out my camping material and placed everything next to my bedroom door, and was left with several hours to kill before it was time to go to bed. I had nothing left to do, and it wasn't ever dinner time.

I was reluctant to admit it to myself, but I was upset. I understood not being able to free himself on a weeknight, but it was Friday, and I had expected it to be a good time to go out. I knew I was being unreasonable and childish: he was a very busy man, with a lot of responsibilities. Less than two days was in no way a too long time not to call again, and there was still a chance that he might call me later in the evening. 

I also felt as confused as before. I had spent the past 30 years hearing that when mates meet, nothing could get between them and they would be all over each other, having sex and biting each other instantly and moving in together on the next day. I undoubtedly felt drawn to Gabriel, in a way I had never felt drawn to anyone before. I had dated quite a lot in my human life, and had had one or two relationships that could be tagged as serious. I had been in love before and knew how to recognize the feeling. I knew that I wasn't in love with Gabriel; I barely knew him. I felt something for him, though, and that was need. The truth was that I longed to see him again, to bask in his scent, get lost in his eyes and feel his arms around me. I wanted to look up to his face and see the need I had for his presence reflected in his own features.

"Get a grip, Grey," I chastised myself. Gabriel would call, eventually, and in the meantime, I had to remind myself that I was a grown woman. If we weren't doing anything for dinner, then I would make it myself, and make it good. I grabbed my keys and my purse, and shoved my feet into flats to head to the grocery store.

About half an hour later, I covered my lasagna with aluminium foil and shoved it into the oven before closing the door with satisfaction. The smell of the warm bread I had bought at the bakery downstairs was still thick and homely in the air, and I eyed the door of my pantry, wondering if I had some red wine to accompany everything. 

Living on my own, I rarely put a lot of effort into cooking for dinner. It left too many leftovers and generally wasted a lot of food, and it was depressing to eat it alone. I pursed my lips and set the timer on the oven as I considered calling Laurie, my best friend, to invite her and her mate over, when my phone suddenly rang in my purse by the door.

I hurried over to answer it, breathless. "Hello?"

"Allo, Leah," came Gabriel's deep tone. 

"Hi," I replied, feeling absurdly relieved. "It's good to hear from you."

"I am so sorry. I wanted to call yesterday, but I was caught up."

"It's alright. You're calling now," I added with a smile. I was rewarded with a deep, breathless chuckle that made my knees water.

"Yes. And I will be done for the weekend, after the few phone calls I need to make. I know this is at the last moment again, but do you have any plans for dinner?"

I turned around and eyed my oven. I really had gone beyond myself to make that lasagna, and it was already starting to smell heavenly. I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, but quickly made up my mind. "Actually, yes, I do."

There was a slight pause. "Oh." He sounded so disappointed that I smiled. "I should really learn to make plans more in advance, I think."

"Mmhmm. I have a date with a lasagna," I continued. "Five different meats, spinach, homemade sauce, all this with fresh bread on the side." I opened my pantry, and was instantly relieved as my gaze fell on the small wine stand inside of it, seeing three bottles sitting in it. "And red wine."

He laughed softly. "Wow. I have never been turned down so deliciously."

I bit hard on my lower lip not to laugh. "Are you really being turned down, Monsieur St-Louis?"

There was a short silence before he answered. "I don't know," he said. "Am I?" I laughed, and after a few moments he joined me. "I did not want to assume anything."

"I'm not sure I want you to think I can take on a whole lasagna all by myself. Not to mention a whole bottle of wine." I pulled the bottle of red wine from the pantry and set it on the counter. "Would you like to join me at my home for a very modest dinner, Alpha Sir?"

"I would absolutely love to."

I smiled, my stomach warming, and glanced at the timer on the oven. "When will you be here?"

"I will leave right after I am done with a few things... so in about 45 minutes. Is that all right?"

"It's perfect." We said goodbye and I hung up. However, as I looked up from the phone to glance around the apartment, I froze for a terrifying second, realizing what I had just done. My gaze took in my coat on my couch, two or three pairs of shoes scattered on the floor, the pile of dishes by the sink and my unmade bed in my bedroom, which was visible from the kitchen. I dropped the phone on the counter with a gasp and rushed to clean up, cursing myself for being such a slob.

***

When the doorbell rang, 50 minutes later, the apartment was clean and I had managed to change into something fresh, quickly put up a Caesar salad to go with the meal and pull up my hair into a messy bun. A few curls always escaped, but I rather liked how it looked. I rushed from the bathroom to the door and opened it to find the Alpha on the other side of it. 

He looked much as he had the last time I'd seen him: unbuttoned shirt collar, messy hair, rolled up sleeves, dark slacks, relaxed and smiling. Goodness, he looked edible. "Hi," I said, trying to breathe normally, and took a step back to let him in.

He grinned down at me. Did that man have any idea what he was doing to me, or was it just so plainly written across my face? "Hi," he replied. He set a white box tied up with a red ribbon on the table by the door and turned to face me. I barely had time to recognize the tag from the bakery downstairs tied up with the ribbon. His hand reached up and tilted my chin up, though, and he bent down to kiss me soundly on the lips. I shut my eyes with a deep breath, savoring the deep shiver that ran through my body as his distinct spicy, fresh scent surrounded me again. The kiss was short but sweet, and he smiled against my lips before he leaned back and looked down at me. "I have wanted to do nothing but this for two days."

"Mmm," I replied, not too intelligently, and gazed up at him. I wasn't in heels this time, and my nose barely reached his chin as I tilted my head up. I reached out to wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself a bit closer. "And that's all I get?" I whispered. He grinned and dipped his head to indulge me, his own arms going around my back to press me against him. The kiss deepened this time as we stood in our embrace by the still open door, lost in the moment. I felt dizzy and terribly hot when it finally broke, and inhaled deeply to get some oxygen back into my lungs. "Much better," I breathed, my eyes still closed. He laughed softly and leaned his forehead against mine, and I opened my eyes to look up at him. "What is that?" I asked, turning my gaze to the white box on the end table.

He pulled back and reached for it, picking it up by the knot and depositing it into my open hands. "Dessert. You made no mention of it on the phone, so I thought I would bring something."

"Oh, thank you!" My sweet tooth agreed with his genius idea, and I closed the apartment door before taking the box to the counter, Gabriel in tow. I reached for scissors and cut the ribbon, and opened the box to peek inside. Cheesecake, I identified. Smothered in chocolate. My stomach grumbled in appreciation, and I felt the brief but powerful impulse to simply skip the lasagna part of dinner and dive right into this mess of calories and chocolaty goodness. "If you have to bring something to a girl, bring chocolate or wine," I said with approval, and looked up to find Gabriel standing right behind me. 

He smirked. "No flowers?"

"Not unless you did something wrong." I shook my head. "Chocolate is better."

He laughed, his eyes creasing in amusement. "Everything they have always told me was a lie." He turned to lean back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. 

He looked so big, there in my tiny kitchen. So... Alpha. Real. I suddenly felt unaccountably shy. I gave him a small smile before I turned my back to the counter. The bottle of wine stood there, and I reached for it thankfully, opened the cupboard in front of me to get the bottle opener, and proceeded to screw it into the cork. Warm hands laid on my arms to stop me, though, and I shut my eyes with another shiver as Gabriel leaned in and dropped a soft kiss on the sensitive skin of my neck, light as a butterfly. "Do I make you nervous, Lili?" he said softly.

My heart squeezed hard at the old nickname, and the breath I had been holding it came out, gently, as I more slowly twisted the bottle opener. "A bit," I admitted. "It isn't you. I think I'm just nervous that you're here. My apartment feels... I don't know. Smaller." You sound ridiculous, chuffed my wolf.

"Why? It is a very nice apartment," he said, looking up and around. He wasn't just being polite, I knew; I had spent the first few months of living here in renovations, painting, buying furniture, arranging everything and basically emptying every home decoration store I found in order for it to be comfy and welcoming. My apartment did look nice and I loved it.

Feeling foolish, I turned around to look at him. His lips were curved up in a relaxed smile as he waited for me to say something, patient but distinctly amused. I reached up and touched the dimple in his right cheek, making him smile wider. "You're so friendly. You're always smiling," I marvelled. "Most Alphas I've met were so serious and stern, like army generals commanding everyone."

He arched an eyebrow. "Well I do have to act like that, sometimes."

"Really?" I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Big scary Alpha St-Louis, being mean?" His eyes narrowed and I chuckled as I tilted my face up, touching my nose to his. "I'd love to see that."

"I am never mean with anyone," he corrected. "And even if I was... You would never see it."

Arching an eyebrow, I leaned back slightly to look up at him. "No? Why?"

"Because I would never want to have to command you to do anything." His face had grown more serious as he looked down at me, his hands gently squeezing my hips before roaming up my back in a gentle caress. "I like you, Leah. Anything I want from you... I will ask."

My lips parted in surprise as I stared up at him, at a complete loss of words. The oven, apparently deciding that it was time to interrupt the dangerous slope of this conversation, beeped loudly and startled us both. Gabriel smirked and dropped his arms to his side to release me, and I cleared my throat as I walked to the oven, grabbing the oven mitts from their hook on the wall as I went. I pulled out the lasagna and set it on the stovetop, and a thick cloud of condensation wafted up, along with the delicious smell of perfectly cooked pasta, tomatoes and way too much meat. I smiled down at the meal, noting with approval the even toasting of the cheese. "Perfect," I whispered, slipping the mitts off my hands.

I served the lasagna and salad, and Gabriel offered to cut the bread and finish serving the wine. We settled down to eat and he was generous in his compliments about my cooking. "It really isn't complicated," I amended, though my cheeks had flushed with pleasure at his comments. 

"I am impressed, nonetheless. I have no time to cook meals like this," he said, taking another bite, and I arched a surprised eyebrow at him.

"You cook?"

He glanced up at me and gave me a falsely hurt look. "What makes you think I cannot cook?"

"I'm sorry. I never said I didn't think you could," I corrected, and gave him a bashful smile. "I'm just surprised that you do. I guess I thought you had a cook or something like that."

"First a chauffeur, and now a cook," he said with a chuckle, picking his fork into one of the last pieces of his plate. "Am I supposed to have a maid, as well? And an old butler, to answer my door?"

"Yep. Don't forget the valet," I added, reaching for my glass of wine. "To iron all those shirts and dress you up in the morning." He laughed, and I joined him. "I guess I have these made up ideas about how Alphas should live, huh."

"Sorry to disappoint." He smirked. "I have an apartment in town, in which I live, cook and sleep alone. The lake house is different, of course, and I can admit I have much less cooking to do when everyone is there." I knew about the house he was talking about – there was a large lake house reserved for the Alpha and those who were close to him at the Lake, such as the betas and their families. It stood solidly on the bank, white and beautiful next to a small beach, on the other side of the lake from the spot where Laurie and I would usually set up our tents. The Alpha's house was the oldest, largest on the compound; it was also the center of all pack activities when the majority of us were there, and where all major events would take place. It was huge. "Though there is still no butler there, and Cedric's mate cooks better than all of us combined."

We chatted for a while more over the rest of dinner and all through dessert, which was as delicious as it looked. He helped me clean out the table and we moved over to the couch to talk. I got back up at some point to refill our glasses and returned to him, handing him his own. He reached out but took both glasses from me, and set them carefully on the end table next to the couch before he reached for my hands. Tugging gently, he pulled me to him and I laughed and blushed like an ingénue as I climbed up and straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing myself against him. He grinned up at me. "Merci," he said as his arms went around me.

Rebel locks of his hair were falling into his eyes again, and I smiled as I reached up with both hands to slowly smooth it back. "What for?" I replied.




Factors of Change Ch. 03



"Dinner. This evening. Inviting me here, at your place," he listed, shutting his pale eyes under my touch. He sighed softly and I did it again, running my fingers deep against his scalp and gently tucking the soft, fair locks behind his ears. He had relaxed all through the evening, but I could still see lines of strain around his mouth and eyes, and reached in to gently trace them with a finger. "I needed it," he breathed.

"I'm very glad you came," I said and I smiled at him when he opened his eyes. "And enjoyed the food." He smiled back, and I leaned in close to lightly rub the tip of my nose against his. "Hard week?"

"I am not getting enough sleep," he said, and gave me a look that made it clear that this particular situation was at least in part caused by my sudden intrusion in his life. I chuckled and tilted up my chin to kiss him gently.

"I'd say I'm sorry," I whispered against his lips. "But I'm really not." He let out a deep breath through his nose as he kissed me back, his warm hands pressing against my back to pull me hard against his chest. He quickly deepened the kiss, his tongue suddenly pushing against mine. I was quickly breathless as I moaned into his mouth, sliding my hands up to dig my fingers in his hair. He groaned softly, running his hands over my back, and the fabric of my top crept up under his touch as his hands roamed down and tugged it up. They ran over my skin, his warm, deft fingers sliding under the thin knitted cotton and against the soft skin of my sides. My blood suddenly boiled in my veins as I felt him touch me, the rush of it roaring in my ears. 

My heart was thumping loudly enough that I feared it might stop as we kissed, unable to pull from one another. I had lost control on all my senses, feeling nothing else but him, his hands, his hard chest against mine. I barely registered it when I felt something soft against my back, distantly realizing that he had turned and laid me back against the cushions on the couch, his strong body on top of mine pressing me into them. His hands had pushed up my shirt and roamed freely against my bare skin, and he moaned deep in his throat when his fingers cupped themselves around the curves of my breasts and his thumbs rubbed my hardened nipples through the thin fabric of my bra.

My own hands weren't idle, either, and I had managed to reach up across his chest for the buttons of his dress shirt. The first one was torn right off the fabric in my frenzy, but I blindly managed to unbutton the second one and ran my hands over his thus uncovered skin. I was desperate to touch him. I had to touch him. I couldn't reach the other buttons and my fingers grabbed and pulled desperately at the soft fabric to tug it up. I must have made a small noise of frustration, because he broke the kiss only long enough to lean back and let me pull the shirt over his head and onto the ground, before his warm mouth found mine again. He pressed me deep against the cushions, hungry and strong. Take him, take him, my wolf was chanting, my mind barely registering it through the confusion of my senses. 

I wanted to. Oh God, I wanted him. 

The loud, piercing and unfamiliar ring of a cellphone tore through the silence of the room, startling us both into immobility. Gabriel broke the kiss with a gasp and tucked his face in my neck, breathing heavily. I blinked unbelievably at the ceiling above me, paralyzed and trembling all over, and kept my tight grip on his bare shoulders as I willed my heart to slow down. I realized distantly that something tugged hard at my heart, as if I was reaching out for a feeling that was already fading, slipping away. Ironically enough, it was also kind of a relief, as the tension that had thrown us against each other quickly faded away and we slowly came back to reality. I swallowed, torn between relief and frustration. The cellphone rang again, slowly vibrating its way towards the edge of the coffee table, and my wolf growled in my mind. Shut it up, she hissed irritably.

"Fuck," Gabriel hissed against my neck, echoing my thoughts. I briefly wondered, unreasonably amused, what his wolf was saying. His chest was heaving, and a deep shiver coursed through his wide shoulders under my trembling hands. The phone rang a third time and a deep, annoyed growl rumbled in his chest. 

"Shouldn't you answer that?" I whispered, closing my eyes. I concentrated on taking deep breaths, trying to calm the loud beating of my heart. He didn't answer me, and the loud dingle of the phone rang once more before he pushed himself off of me with a muffled curse and roughly grabbed the offending piece of technology off the coffee table. 

He stood up as he pressed the call button. "Quoi?!" he barked into the phone in a tone I'd never heard before. My wolf froze and sat down in surprise at the sound of it, and I was suddenly glad, as I heard him speak to the caller, that I wasn't on the receiving end of it. He was pissed. I bit my lower lip, not even trying to repress the deep shiver of pleasure that ran through me as I looked at the beautifully angry, shirtless male specimen that was standing in my living room. I liked that he was pissed.

He paced across the living room to the kitchen as he spoke in French to whoever it was that had been unfortunate enough to call, but I didn't pay attention to the words enough to understand. He had toned down his anger a notch, though there was still a distinct edge to his voice. I sat up against the cushions, smoothing back my tangled hair before I pulled my legs against my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees. I glanced at the clock before returning my gaze to Gabriel. It was late, I realized. Late calls were always important, and I had a feeling that this wonderful evening with him was perhaps coming to an abrupt end.

There was a short silence and he stopped pacing, before he let out a deep sigh. "Ok," he finally told his interlocutor, glancing at the clock as he did. "J'arrive, j'arrive. Donne-moi... vingt minutes." He hung up, then, and looked down at his phone a moment before shoving it into his pocket. After a brief pause, he groaned tiredly and reached up both hands to rub them, hard, across his face.

I sighed softly and reached down to pick up his discarded shirt from the floor. I carefully undid the remaining buttons and silently made my way to him. "If you always answer your phone like that," I said as I laid a hand on his arm and offered him his shirt back, "they'll learn to stop interrupting."

He snorted and looked down at me. He'd mussed up his hair when he smoothed it back and it fell down into his eyes again. The corner of his lips turned up slightly as his arm reached out and drew me close to his chest, and he dipped down his head to nuzzle my neck. "I am sorry," he whispered.

I slid my hands across his sides and hugged him tight, pressing my lips against the warm, salty skin of his collarbone, relishing in his scent while I still could. "Is there a problem? You can tell me about it."

He leaned back and pursed his lips thoughtfully, but after a glance at the clock on the wall, he shook his head. "Not now."

"You have to go, don't you? It's alright, Gabriel."

He sighed in a way that told me he didn't think it was alright at all, but didn't argue as he pulled back and shrugged his shirt back on. He looked down at me. "I will call you tomorrow."

"You can't," I said, and pursed my lips. "Well, you can try, but I'll be at the Lake, the signal's terrible there." I paused as I reached up to button his shirt, keeping my eyes on my fingers. "Won't you be there?" I mentally cringed as I listened to myself, hoping I didn't sound too whiny.

"I cannot promise it," he said with a shake of his head. "Something just came up that I have to deal with, but I will try."

"Well, I'll be camping with friends," I pointed out. My lips quirked as I noticed the top button of his shirt was entirely gone, and I glanced up at him. "If you come, you'll have to find me."

He laughed softly and leaned in to kiss my lips. "Challenge accepted," he whispered against my lips. He kissed me again, deeper, our tongues doing a playful dance against each other. I sighed softly as he pulled back, his hand brushing gently against my cheek before he dropped it to his side. "Bonne nuit, Lili," he said softly.

"Goodnight, Gabriel."

I saw him to the door and watched him go down the stairs. I closed and locked the door and, like I had the previous time, went to my window to watch him get to his car. I watched as he crossed the street, but arched an eyebrow in surprise when he raised his hand in a friendly wave to another parked car. He hadn't stopped to speak to the driver and got into his own car before driving away, but the other vehicle didn't move, parked on the side of the street like a giant sleeping cat. I squinted, but couldn't see who the driver was despite the street lights. 

I frowned, suddenly feeling uneasy. "Are you keeping an eye on me, Gabriel?" I asked in a whisper. Why in the world would he leave one of his guys parked in front of my home? I was tempted to get out of the apartment and take a walk, to see if the car would follow me, but decided against it. I was probably overreacting, and the car would be gone the next morning.

***

The car was gone when I woke up and checked in the morning. It was replaced, however, by a rather large and conspicuously shiny black SUV. I still couldn't identify the driver but thought, a bit bitterly, that at least they weren't trying to hide from me. It might have had something to do with his abrupt departure, too. I decided to ignore it and keep my questions for the next time I would see Gabriel, and went about my home getting ready to leave for the compound.

The area around the building where I worked lacked affordable parking spaces. Therefore I took the metro train daily to go to work. I did have a car, though, in a private parking lot in the alley besides the bakery, that I used for longer travels. On my first trip downstairs to pack the car with my camping equipment, I glanced at the SUV parked in the street, and thought I recognized the driver. I took my time to pack the tent into the trunk, closed it, and after the briefest of hesitations, walked directly towards it. 

The driver had seen me coming, and didn't even bother trying to hide as I stepped closer to the passenger door. In fact, he slid down the window and I crossed my arms on the door, giving him a tensed smile. I had been hoping it would be the easy-going William, but it was the other beta, the one who had already been in the elevator when I walked in – the stern one who ignored me. I wondered, as he greeted me with a polite nod, what he looked like when he smiled. He didn't look like he did it often. "Hello," I greeted. "You must be Cedric."

He nodded. "Good morning, mademoiselle Grey," he said politely.

I glanced inside the car, noting the low playing music and the disposable cup of coffee in the cup holder. "So you drew the short straw." He arched an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged. "And ended up babysitting Leah? Isn't that what you were asked to do?"

His lips twitched up, but I wouldn't have called it a smile. "Non."

"Non?"

It was a smile, apparently, and it widened. He wasn't my ideal type of beauty, but his stern features made him handsome in a very classical way. He had wide shoulders, with dark brown hair smoothed back, but his eyes were probably his most striking feature. An unusually pale blue, they were framed with dark lashes and extremely expressive. They seemed relaxed and amused right now, slightly narrowed, and I wondered how scary he must have looked when he was actually upset. "Non," he repeated. "It is not you I am watching," he continued. Much thicker than Gabriel's, his accent heavily tinted his speech, but I found it strangely adorable. 

"Who, then? You are parked in front of my house, didn't you know?"

He sorted and looked away towards the street. "Are you not getting ready for your trip?" he pointed out, changing the subject. "Do you need help getting your t'ings in your car?"

"No. I only have to get my backpack, feed the cat and lock the door." I pursed my lips, and tried again. "Who are you looking for, Cedric?"

He sighed, but glanced back to me, the serious look back in his eyes. "Do not concern yourself with dis. You are safe, dat is all dat matters. Go to de Lake, Leah. Forget dat I was here."

"That's easier said than done," I pointed out, and he merely smirked – at least it was what could count as a smirk for him – before rudely raising the window again. I huffed and took a step back from the car, and stormed back towards the door of my apartment building. What an asshole.

***

Laurie had found her match in François Gagnon. Nearly a head taller than her, thin like a twig and smart like a fox, he had a shock of unruly chocolate hair and an exuberant personality that was as adorable – and sometimes annoying – as his mate's. Kind and generous, he was an excellent father to the five boys, although at times Laurie would complain that she had not five but six children, one of which simply ate a lot more than the others.

On a bad day, he also had the very nasty habit of cursing like a sailor, and had done so repeatedly as he tried figuring out the plans for setting up the newly bought, bright yellow tent that was lying on the ground looking like a deflated lifeboat. Laurie had been sitting next to me on the rocky beach as we watched the five boys swimming in the icy cold water of the lake. She had asked him many times if he needed help, queries to which he had simply muttered "non" stubbornly before going back to his plans, his sticks and his religious expletives. My own tent had been set up since the end of the morning, a small blue thing that I set up close to the trees so it would stay in the shade.

François finally managed, though, and at the end of the evening, it was all done: the Gagnons' ridiculously large tent was up and filled with their things, hot dogs had been eaten, and the five – or six – boys had been drained by a day of sunshine, nature and swimming and now lay groggy and heavy-lidded as we all sat around the campfire. François murmured something to the boys and took them all inside the tent to be put into their sleeping bags. I glanced at the growing fire and then at the small lake. The breeze had suddenly stopped around dinner time, and now the water was as smooth as glass, mirroring the landscape perfectly. The sun had set not very long ago, and the sky had faded from a dark red where it had disappeared behind the mountains to a deep marine blue. A few stars had already started showing and there would be thousands above us before long. The trees had gone silent around us as the wind fell, but the crickets and the frogs had taken over and sang softly all around us, and the fire crackled and popped peacefully. Laurie sighed happily. "It's so beautiful here," she whispered. "I wish we could stay here all the time."

"I'm sure you'd miss the city eventually," I said in a soft chuckle.

"Our ancestors didn't need the city."

"They didn't need it because they never had it."

She smiled, but didn't argue. I turned my eyes back to the lake. A lot of the pack had moved to the lake compound for the weekend; we could see small campfires like ours lighting up across and all around the lake. The small lake houses were all lit up behind their curtain of trees, filled with people, but it's the large white main house that my eyes kept being drawn to. It stood solidly on the other side of the lake, like a mother hen watching over everyone. Most of its windows were lit up and I could see people in the yard from across the water. I wondered if Gabriel was already there.

I had brought my phone but, as I suspected, it had no signal. It sat, turned off, in my luggage in my tent. If I had any chance to see Gabriel tonight, it would be during the run.

Almost every weekend, during the time of year when the lake was accessible, we would all shift into our wolf forms and run through the mountains that surrounded Lac Caribou. It was remote enough that no human would notice or hear anything. Most of the time we would simply shift and go running without any sort of goal other than to let steam out, but sometimes, when the weather was as beautiful and so many wolves were gathered together at the lake, the Alpha would traditionally lead the run, signaling the beginning. It had happened many times before in the two other summers I had spent coming here. This time, though, I really looked forward to hearing the Alpha howling to the moon, calling to the others to join him. "I hope he makes it," I said, not realizing right away that I had spoken out loud until Laurie answered.

"From what you've told me about you and him so far, I'm sure he'll find a way," Laurie said softly. She glanced back at the silent tent. "I think Frank fell asleep with the boys," she whispered with a chuckle. She looked back at me, a twinkle in her eye. "Let's go now."

I glanced back at the big white house, biting my lower lip, but my wolf instantly reacted to Laurie's words, pushing and shoving to be let out. "Alright," I said, and stood up. I took a few feet back and reached for the hem of my shirt to pull it off, already feeling the first shudders of the shifting process. Calm down, I thought with a smile, quickly stepping out of my jeans and underwear before my wolf ruined them. She barely waited until I'd kicked my clothes away before taking over, and I sighed as I stepped back into my mind, letting her take control.

I opened my eyes again to a whole different perspective. Even though my wolf only saw in black and white, everything was much clearer, and I could see much further, and hear much better. I took a sniff of the air and instantly smelled Laurie's wolf's slight lilac scent next to me, and her mate's more sugary scent behind me, in the tent, along with the various smells of their children. The smell of fire was overwhelming for my nose, though, and I moved away from it, turning without a noise to trot towards the woods, Laurie's grey wolf following. 

Running was so freeing. Nothing was in my way; none of the clumsiness of human legs and arms, or of my curly hair getting tangled in branches and bushes. My black coat was shiny and smooth and my stride lithe and silent. I could hear the other wolves in the forest around me, calling to each other with small howls and whimpers and playful barks. For the first time in my life, I felt I was truly a part of a pack. By letting me run with them, they accepted me, and I accepted them. Running like this through the forest of the Lake compound, I was happier than I had even been before.

A strong, powerful howl suddenly tore through the night and echoed over the lake and up the steep hills of the mountains around it. I stopped, recognizing it as the Alpha's, and Laurie caught up with me. She sat up in attention, her ears held high, and a burst of adrenaline shot through my veins. My heartbeat increased in speed as we waited.

The Alpha howled again from across the Lake, some other wolves echoing it in response. There were no words in it and yet, I could understand it perfectly. He was calling for his pack to run with him. 

But he was also calling for me. 

A sudden, unexplainable impulse had me standing up on four paws and, throwing back my head, I howled back to him, as loudly as I could. I tried to put in it as much challenge as possible and wondered if he could understand it too. Come on, big boy, I thought in amusement. Come and get me, if you can.

A long silence followed my answer. All the other Weres had quieted as well, stunned into silence by the intensity of my call. Laurie's wolf bumped against my shoulder and playfully nipped my ear, whimpering excitedly. Go...Now! her wide amber eyes said clearly. 




Factors of Change Ch. 03



I didn't need for her to tell me again. I went. 

I quickly climbed the steep hill behind me and ran, hopping between the trees and the branches in an attempt to keep a good distance between Gabriel and me. I heard his howl again behind me from the other side of the lake, answering the challenge.

The chase was on.



Factors of Change Ch. 04



You guys. 

Your reaction to this story surpasses everything I ever hoped. Thank you so much! I hope I keep up with your expectations. 

Once again, oodles of merci to Doctime for reading, editing, encouraging, questioning and all around doing a great job of helping me become a better writer. I changed quite a few things after he sent the chapter back to me. I anxiously read it until I couldn't see it anymore, but I might have let slip a few things. 

Enjoy! 

***** 

The air was fresh and cool, a typical May night. I ran, feeling the cool air through my fur. All sorts of scents assaulted my sense of smell: the freshness of newly grown leaves and the dry, slightly bitter tang of fir sap; the earthy smell of the ground beneath my feet and the sudden scent of a startled doe I crossed in my hurry. I tried to ignore all these wonderful new scents. I needed to focus my attention on running, but also on the distinctive spicy scent of nutmeg and cinnamon that would warn me of Gabriel's presence. 

I climbed all the way up the steep mountain that towered over the Lake compound. It wasn't very high up, but the trees were becoming sparser at the top of the nearly bald mountain. I reached the stony summit panting with relief, and turned around to look down at the compound far below. 

I could see the entire lake. It was a rather small, narrow lake, at least five times as long as it was wide. My Alpha had been right across the lake from me when he answered my challenge. It would take him quite a long time to run the whole way around, so I had a good head start. 

Unless he swims across, my wolf let out smugly. 

Oh he wouldn't. Would he? 

I eyed the calm, dark surface of the lake. I didn't think he would swim across; he probably could, but it was still quite a way to go, in the dark and in pretty cold water. I wasn't sure what to put above Gabriel's wolf, though. While our human forms preferred a smart, charismatic Alpha to an overly muscled one, our wolves still relied on strength and usually acted by sheer stubbornness. I sat down and sniffed the air. I couldn't smell him yet, but his earthy smell was so similar to that of the forest around me that I wasn't sure if I really would be able to pick it up until he was too close. 

But wasn't the whole point of this chase in getting caught? 

He has to work for it, my wolf explained as I turned to pad down the hill, still heading east. He needs to know he deserves you. And you need to be strong, to deserve HIM. 

I snorted softly as I started running again. I wasn't going to try and understand males and their ego tonight. 

A sudden howl broke through my concentration and I slowly stopped, surprised, to look back up the hill behind me. He sounded much closer than I had expected him to be. He had found my tracks. My heart raced with excitement, and I turned to run faster. 

I nearly tumbled down the rest of the hill, and stumbled loudly, in a crash of broken branches and crushed leaves, into a clearing. I startled a small group of Weres in their human forms who had been sitting and chatting there, in front of a small cabin by the water. I froze as they stared at me. 

One of the men suddenly gave me a bright smile and stood up before he turned towards the forest and cupped his hands around his mouth. "She's here!" he shouted loudly towards the mountain. I hesitated only a second, torn between the urge to tackle the young Were into the water and the more visceral need to run. Sadly, I didn't have enough time for the first idea, so I went with the latter and dashed right through them and towards the trees on the other side of the clearing. I heard the women's encouragements and the group's amused laughter, and cursed myself mentally for letting myself be seen; they would obviously point the Alpha in the right direction if he stumbled upon them as well, which would happen if he was following my tracks. I wasn't aware of how long I had been running, but my wolf was getting tired and restless, and the Alpha's patience was probably waning. 

But... where was he? 

Appearing out of nowhere without a sound, a large, dark shape suddenly leaped at me and tackled me from the side. Together, we rolled between the trees and further down the hill in a snarling tangle of dark fur and limbs. We landed hard on the gravelled bank and he rolled on top of me, growling and pinning me down on my back, lunging for my throat. I snarled and struggled, but froze when his teeth lightly closed on my throat, his chest rumbling with a warning growl. A single word broke through my thoughts, pushed upon my conscience in a tone of command. 

"SUBMIT." 

And I suddenly really wanted to submit. With all my rapidly beating heart. 

I felt myself go limp as I responded to the order for a few moments, but instantly rebelled against it. You said you wouldn't command me, Gabriel, I thought furiously, and struggled against him again. I folded my hind legs and pushed my paws as hard as I could against his stomach, throwing him off of me. The big black wolf backed up in surprise, obviously taken off guard. I got to my feet to face him, and barely had enough time to notice how large - how much larger than me - he really was before he growled at me, his hackles rising in warning. 

Oops. 

I'd gotten him upset, but God, he was a beautiful beast, a huge wolf and yet a graceful one as he stood his ground, his glowing amber eyes bright and piercing as he glared at me. And all of a sudden, I saw him brace himself to jump. 

I took a single step back towards the water just before he lunged at me. He tackled me again, but we were too close to the lake and we both rolled straight into it with a loud splash. 

I shifted back to human form by reflex from the sheer shock of the cold water and surfaced with a loud gasp. Shivering, I quickly stumbled out of the water and collapsed onto the grass above the bank. I heard a booming laugh behind me and turned around, outraged, to find Gabriel standing in the shallow water, stark naked. "G-glad to s-see you're having f-fun," I hissed at him between clattering teeth as I crossed my arms over my bare chest in a futile effort to warm myself. 

"I am," he laughed. He grinned wickedly and moved closer, the water rippling around him. I watched him silently, all my anger fading as I let my gaze travel across and down his body. He really was beautifully made: tall and lean like an athlete, with wide shoulders and a strong, defined torso that narrowed down to a lean waist. The dark water only reached to his knees, and I appreciated his strong, muscular thighs for a moment as my gaze latched onto his groin, where his large cock stood up to attention. Obviously he wasn't bothered by the cold water, I though wryly, and I looked back up to his face to see his smile completely gone as he stared at me with a heated gaze. 

I stood up and turned to face him and pure, hot desire suddenly pooled in my groin as he slowly waded his way towards me. He easily climbed onto the bank and reached out for me without a word. His hands wrapped around my arms and I let him pull me firmly to his chest as he leaned down and slanted his mouth over mine in a deep, crushing kiss. 

I moaned, melting instantly, parting my lips for his forceful tongue. It pushed against mine and I pushed back, demanding, wanting to taste him as he tasted me. My heart was thumping madly in my chest and I felt as if all my boiling blood had left my head to rush down lower. I let out a muffled groan of frustration and wrenched my arms out of his grip to reach up and roughly dig my fingers through his hair, pulling his mouth harder against mine as I kissed him back. My wolf was close to the surface, much too close for me to be patient. The chase had me so turned on and ready for him that I knew he could probably smell my arousal above everything else. 

Gabriel growled deep in his throat in response, his hands moving down to my thighs to lift me up and carry me into the woods. Not once did he break the kiss as he walked between the trees and lowered me to a soft bed of grass and leaves. He pressed me into the ground, his hands desperately roaming across my bare skin. I moaned as he cupped my breasts and broke the kiss to lean down and close his mouth over one of my erect nipples. A loud gasp escaped my lips and I tugged hard on his hair as he sucked the sensitive bud into his mouth, his teeth grazing my skin and sending pure pleasure straight to my core. 

His other hand had travelled down my abdomen and between my legs. "Oh, Gab..." I let out shakily as his fingers slipped between my wet folds to find my warm entrance and slowly slide inside of me. My legs wrapped themselves around his hips and I pushed against his hand as his fingers thrust more forcefully. "Gabriel!" I gasped. "Please..." My wolf simmered at the surface of my conscience, begging for more. I was more than ready; I had been for a week, and I could tell he was just as impatient as I was. "Baby, don't tease me!" 

He leaned back over me and kissed me hard, his fingers moving in and out of me, bringing me closer and closer to my release. I slid my hand down across his chest to reach down and brush my fingers against his long, hard cock; he let out a muffled, pained groan as my fingers wrapped tightly around him. His fingers left me and he hooked his arm under my thigh to push it up, spreading me open for him. I angled his hard member against my entrance and he broke the kiss to look down at me, his gaze intense and darkened by desire. I shut my eyes with a moan, arching my back desperately to press my hips against his, but his other hand moved up to my chin to tilt it up. "Open your eyes," he whispered. "Leah. Regarde-moi." 

I looked up at him, only to get lost in his hazel eyes while he moved on top of me, sheathing himself almost all the way in one thrust. He pulled out and thrust forward until he was finally nestled all the way in. Unable to hold his gaze, I moaned loudly and shut my eyes as my blood rushed through my veins to thunder in my ears, and I dug my fingers deep in his hair to pull his mouth to mine again. 

He kissed me deeply, rocking his hips against mine in a slow, persistent motion. I felt every inch of him as he slid in; I had never felt so full, so complete in my whole life. I slid my hands down to his shoulders and held on tight, not caring that my nails were digging into his flesh. He groaned against my lips and broke the kiss with a gasp as he increased his speed, grinding his cock firmly against my clit. My orgasm took me completely by surprise, bursting in my groin to roll across my body like a tidal wave. I arched my back even more and cried out as he rode me through it, before his rhythm faltered and I felt him shatter in my embrace. He pressed his lips against my neck to muffle his shout as he came and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, completely overwhelmed by pleasure and tenderness. 

My wolf was howling in my mind, pushing to come forward. I could feel the skin of Gabriel's neck against my lips and fought down the suddenly irresistible urge to sink my teeth in it. Not now, I thought frantically, clinging to him. Not now! 

He collapsed on top of me with a final shiver. We were both breathing heavily and I could feel his heart thunder in his chest, in cohort with mine. I hugged him closer and he rolled to his side in a crunch of broken leaves, pulling me with him as we caught our breaths. "Oh my God," I whispered after a long, silent moment, leaning back slightly to look at his face. "Promise we'll do that again." 

He laughed breathlessly, his face splitting into a grin. "I certainly intend to. The air is getting cold, though." His hand moved down my back to my rear and squeezed gently. "The house is very close, Leah." I glanced up at him, just as he lowered his head to kiss my lips. "Will you come to bed with me?" 

*** 

An hour later, I tucked my face into Gabriel's neck, nuzzling the soft skin there with a sigh. I felt my muscles relax into a languid after-sex daze as we lay in the soft blankets of his bed. It had only taken us a few minutes to make our way towards the large lake house a while earlier, but Gabriel hadn't let me look around the house much, urgently ushering me upstairs to his bedroom. 

Everything was silent around us, both inside and outside the house; everyone had probably gone to bed by then. "Do you think the pack knows about me?" I asked. 

He chuckled. "They all heard your call. I really cannot see how they could not," he said in an amused tone. "We were not exactly discreet, either," he added, a smile in his voice. 

I bit my lower lip and looked back at him. "So they heard everything?" I asked, and he nodded. I could feel myself blushing deeply and laughed, hiding my face into his neck. "That's very embarrassing," I mumbled against his skin. 

He laughed and tightened his arms around me. "No, it is not. They will be curious, though," he said softly. "This... this is the first time it has happened." 

I heard his hesitation, and knew what he meant by 'it'. Even though I pulled myself closer to him in answer, I didn't dare look up at him, afraid that he would expect me to respond, explain or put words on what I thought 'it' was. We still hadn't named what was between us, although after tonight we would have been fools not to recognize it for what it apparently was. 

A mate bond. It was somehow comforting to know that even though he recognized it as well, he was as hesitant to name it as I was. I knew we had to blame our stubborn human sides for it. Committing to a lifetime relationship after knowing each other for barely six days would have been a trifle extreme for anyone, even for a Were with a wolf pacing impatiently in their minds. 

Gabriel didn't press for an answer; he simply let out a sigh and rolled onto his back. I cuddled close to his side, draping one bare leg over his and watching my hand as I lightly moved it over his skin. I marvelled at his warmth as I ran the tip of my fingers through the soft, thin blond hairs on his chest. I inhaled deeply to breathe him in, to bask in his wonderful scent of forest and earth, of the spices only I could smell, and of the underlying scent of sex and sweat that clung to his skin and made me feel quite dizzy with love. 

I blinked and laid my hand slowly over his beating heart. Love? What was I thinking? I knew nothing about him, nothing but his name and a small list of various interests. I didn't even know his age, though he didn't look much older than I did. I moved a bit to rest my chin on his chest while looking up at his face. He looks so beautiful, I thought. He had closed his eyes and his handsome mouth was relaxed, the corners slightly curving up. I smiled and reached up to gently let my forefinger trace the line of his jaw and down his neck. "You smell so good," I blurted out. 

He snorted softly and ran his hand up my side, brushing the side of my breast. "So do you. I completely lose all control whenever you get close to me," he admitted, and opened his eyes to smile down at me. "What do I smell like?" 

"Hmm," I let out thoughtfully, and smiled as I dropped a kiss against the line of his jaw. "Like the earth, with fresh leaves and pine. And spices. Nutmeg. Cinnamon, mostly. You just smell delicious, both to me and my wolf." 

"You make it sound like I smell like a cookie," he said in a snort, sounding mildly affronted. 

I laughed and shook my head, leaning back to look at his face. "You smell like the forest. Does it matter? I'm the only one who can smell it, apparently." I bit my lower lip. "What do I smell like?" I asked, curious as well. "Please don't say roses." 

He laughed and shook his head, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "Not a rose lover?" 

"It is a bit cliché." 

"Vanilla," he claimed. His hand pulled my head down to him and he gently nibbled on my earlobe. "A hint of citrus, and a sweet bit of honey under it all. No roses." 

I smiled, very pleased. I hesitated a bit but finally leaned back to look up at him. "Gabriel?" 

He laid his head back down against the pillow and looked at me. "Mmm?" 

"Why was Cedric parked in front of my home this morning?" 

To his credit, if the question surprised him, his facial expression showed nothing of it. I wondered if his beta had already talked to him about our brief conversation. "I am just being overly cautious," he replied carefully. Too carefully. 

"Why?" I asked with a frown. "I went up to the SUV to ask him, but he just said he said he wasn't watching me. If not me, then who?" 

He sighed softly and, after a brief hesitation, sat up. I kneeled, sitting back on my feet and keeping my eyes on his expression, but his poker face didn't give away anything at all. "When you were in London," he started slowly, "what did other Weres say when I won my election?" 

I shrugged and shook my head. "They were... surprised, to say the least. It was on everyone's lips. Only Born Weres had ever become Alpha until you." 

"Just surprised?" He tilted his head slightly. "Be honest. I already know the answer, in any case." 

"Most of them were curious about you. But... well yeah, a lot of them were appalled that the pack had chosen you. They thought it was... a mistake, and that you would eventually prove unfit for the task. That Turned Weres are omegas and should stay that way." I shook my head, frowning deeply. "They were just being discriminating assholes. They don't even know you, and you've been doing fine. It's why I left, Gab. It was always like that, everywhere I went. Everywhere but here." 

He nodded sympathetically and reached out for me. I moved closer and curled up against him as he pulled me close to sit across his lap, laying my head down on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. "I was elected by almost ninety percent of my pack. It was an indisputable victory," he said softly, pressing his lips against my hair. "But that still leaves one wolf out of ten who has not voted for me." 

"Is that a lot?" I asked. 

He shook his head. "Out of those who did not, not all of them were terribly upset. Most of them simply cheered for another candidate and accepted me with respect. But some others were ferociously against my election. They campaigned against me, never recognized me as Alpha. They almost all disappeared one after the other in the weeks following the election, too, claiming to want to move to another pack." 

"Well good riddance." 

"Hmmph. However they never petitioned to join the pack in Québec City," he pointed out. "And we got no questions from other packs close by, either. It would seem they never even tried to join another pack." 

I was silent a few moments as I processed this strange bit of information, and glanced up at him. "Well, where are they, then?" 

"I have no idea," he said with a sigh. "But I have to admit that I am worried at the thought of a rogue group of 'lone wolves' blaming me for what they clearly consider decadence in the pack, living somewhere in my pack lands and probably plotting for a quick end to my mandate. It has kept me on edge for the past three years." 

I could understand that, and fear coiled in my stomach at the idea. "Do you honestly think that's what they're doing? You didn't even press them into exile. They left on their own." 

"A few weeks ago, they started contacting some of the Weres who had in the past supported my opponents. Some, who have been contacted, alerted me about it... but I cannot be sure if they all did." 

I leaned back from him and frowned. "What are you saying? You mean you think there's some sort of... a plot against you?" 




Factors of Change Ch. 04



"Against what I am, yes, maybe. Or rather, what they think I am not." He shook his head. "We have no real proof. And we have no idea what they want, or what they might do. Maybe nothing. Maybe we worry for no good reason. As I said...I would much rather be considered overly cautious than irresponsibly stupid." 

"So, the car in front of my home..." I turned and arched an eyebrow at him. "It's there to protect me?" 

The corners of his lips turned up. "Why do you look so surprised?" 

"Well... shouldn't they be spending their time protecting you? You're the important one." 

He stared at me a moment, apparently unsure if I was kidding. When it became obvious that I wasn't, he sighed and reached up to touch my cheek. "Leah. You are important." 

"Not to them." 

"To me," he let out dryly, an annoyed tone in his voice. "Or have you not realized that by now?" 

I opened my mouth to argue some more, but stopped myself before I upset him. "I'm sorry," I let out softly. I inched even closer and reached for his hands. "You just worried me; you... you've gotten pretty important to me, too." 

He sighed deeply, the annoyance fading from his face. "Lili," he whispered, pulling me to his chest. He kissed my temple and nuzzled my hair as I hugged him back. "Everything will be alright, ma Lili. You let me do the worrying." 

I snorted softly, keeping my face tucked into his neck. "Easy for you to say," I mumbled. "Heroes in trouble always say that. It's never true." He chuckled softly, but didn't answer. His hand kept on rubbing my back gently, and I shivered. We were silent for a long moment and I only realized how close to sleep I was when I distantly felt him drape the blankets over us both. I felt his lips against my forehead and smiled softly, snuggling closer to his side before lapsing into sleep. 

*** 

Some time later, I woke up with a full bladder, disoriented by my strange surroundings. I quickly remembered where I was, though. Gabriel. The lake house. A warm, comfortable bed, made even warmer and even more comfortable by the presence of the sexy male who slept beside me and gave off warmth like a furnace. We had both moved around in our sleep and he had gathered my naked body back against his, loosely draping one arm around my waist. His chest rose and fell slowly against my back and he seemed deeply asleep, so I carefully lifted his heavy arm and inched away from him to sit on the edge of the mattress. 

I glanced back at Gabriel and smiled before I stood up. He hadn't awoken nor moved as I got off the bed, and I let my gaze sweep appreciatively over his mussed up hair and wide shoulders. My bladder reminded me that ogling could wait, though, and I turned and looked around the bedroom. It was large, but rather simply decorated - the beauty of the ancient wood furniture was a decoration in itself, with its classic four post bed and a large oval mirror in the far corner. The dark and heavy curtains hadn't been pulled, so white moonlight poured in through the twin French doors and two gigantic floor-to-ceiling windows, lighting up the room like daylight as I silently padded across the varnished wooden floor. There was an armchair close to the bed, with a thick white throw blanket tossed over the arm; I reached for the blanket to wrap it around my shoulders like a large shawl before I continued my increasingly eager search for a toilet. 

Opposite the French doors leading outside to the balcony, there were three other closed doors on the other walls. One of them had to be a bathroom, I thought - I was curious about exploring the rest of the house, but not in the middle of the night. 

I opened the first door on the right and bit my lip trying not to laugh when I stepped into a walk-in closet. Typical, Leah, I thought. I moved to the second one, hoping I wouldn't end up in the hallway, and smiled when it opened into a large bathroom. I shut the door while I relieved myself, forgoing turning on the light, and returned to the bedroom a few minutes later, fully awake. I slowly walked across the bedroom, not feeling sleepy in the least, and found myself opening the French doors and stepping out onto the balcony. 

I had slept a few hours, at least; it was very early in the morning, I realized as I looked up at the sky. While it was still dark, it had already started paling in the east in a thin pale line over the black mountains. The dark waters of the lake were still and all the creatures were quiet, except for the occasional deep croak of a frog. I wrapped myself tighter in the blanket and stepped up to the railing with a contented sigh, looking down from the third story, and noticed the Weres that were keeping watch in the yard. 

I remembered our earlier conversation. It had never actually occurred to me that there could be danger in being an Alpha; I had pictured responsibilities and a lot of advantages, yes, but never danger. But, of course, Gabriel's situation was particular, and I found myself hoping fervently for his pack's loyalty. 

A crackling campfire was still going on and two Weres sat next to it, both of them in their wolf form. One of them lifted its head from its front paws to look up at me and I smiled and held up my hand in a small wave, feeling a bit embarrassed to be seen but somewhat reassured. At least someone was watching out. 

I heard the creak of the floorboards and glanced behind me to see a sleepy looking Gabriel standing by the open door. "What are you doing outside?" he whispered. 

I smiled and walked back to him, snuggling into his open arms. "I was thinking. I couldn't sleep." 

He held me close, burying his face in the doubtless messy curls of my hair. "Mmmph. Le lit est froid sans toi," he mumbled, his voice muffled. "Come back to bed." 

I laughed softly. "You're half asleep. You're losing your English," I said softly, amused, as I ran my hands up his sides. 

"You understand French," he said in a rather stubborn tone. 

"Not as well as I wish." I looked up to give him a guilty smile. "But you can teach me, can't you? French fries, French connection, French cancan..." He snorted and gave me a highly annoyed look, and I grinned at him. "French kiss..." 

"Oh I really see no need to show you that." 

He looked so disgruntled that I couldn't help chuckling. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him and his nakedness. His arms were the only thing keeping the blanket wrapped around me and I wriggled a bit, hoping it would fall to the floor. He leaned in to press his lips against mine, though, putting a stop to my squirming. "Mmm," I let out appreciatively, digging my fingers in his hair as his hands finally tugged the blanket off. "What is a French kiss called in French?" I whispered, shivering in his arms as his mouth moved down my neck. "Surely French people don't call it 'French'." 

"Stop talking," he whispered against my neck. He suddenly reached down and easily scooped me up in his arms, and turned to carry me towards the bed. I chuckled and opened my mouth to ask him who he thought he was, but he shut me up with a wonderful kiss as he laid me down on the mattress. I smiled against his lips as I reached for his shoulders and pulled him on top of me. 

*** 

I woke up again, much later, to find myself bathed in the sunlight that poured through the windows. I squinted and yawned and stretched like a cat in the delightfully soft white blankets, and rolled over to find Gabriel's side of the bed completely empty. 

I frowned and sat up, laying a hand against the bed covers: cold. How long had he been up? "What time is it?" I whispered to myself as I glanced around the room. There was no clock, but my eyes lit up as I noticed my backpack on an armchair by the bathroom door. I grinned as I hopped off the bed and walked towards the bag. Someone had been to my camp to retrieve it, obviously. I wondered if they'd taken down my tent, as well. 

I chuckled at the idea, easily picturing Laurie's reaction to an empty tent, and carried my bag along with me inside the bathroom. I stopped in front of the large mirror and laughed. My lips were swollen from a night of kissing, and felt raw from Gabriel's stubble rubbing against them. Not that I complained, I thought with a smirk, as I ran a thumb over my lower lip. My hair was a royal mess, curling and fluffing around my head like an angry cloud. I laughed again and reached up to pull a crumbled tree leaf from it, and pushed my curls back to notice an angry red spot on my shoulder. "Aw, Gabriel," I growled as I fingered the love bite. My wolf stirred in my mind and felt strangely pleased at the sight of it, though, and I stopped myself before I let my thoughts drift further. First things first. I turned around and walked to the large shower. I couldn't show up in public looking like that. 

I sneaked out of the bedroom fifteen minutes later, feeling clean and fresh and dressed in denim shorts and a white form-fitting t-shirt, with my damp curly brown hair left loose over my shoulders to air-dry. I could hear voices both downstairs and outside the house, and wondered how many people were there. The hallway I stood in was empty, though, so I silently made my way barefoot across the hall to the staircase there. 

I walked down two flights of stairs and ended up in the front hall. I looked around a bit, wondering where I might find my missing lover, when the smell of food drifted across the hall to reach my nose. My stomach rumbled loudly, reminding me that I had last eaten only a hot dog more than twelve hours ago, and that it had been quite an exhausting night. I smiled and followed my nose down the hall and across a gigantic dining room, and finally found the kitchen. 

It was as big as everything else in the house, with dark wooden cupboards, granite counters and stainless steel appliances. It also included a cook, apparently, and I froze to stare at the young Were lady who was standing in front of the stove, humming softly to herself as she stirred something in the frying pan. She looked as tall as I was, but had a cat's frame: thin, delicate and graceful as opposed to my slightly more curvaceous form. She had long, gorgeous strawberry blond hair that probably reached her lower back, pulled up in a loose ponytail, and was dressed very simply in shorts and a tank top. She was also very pregnant, and the soft fabric of her tank top clung to the perfect, adorable curve of her stomach. 

She suddenly stopped humming and snapped her head around to look at me as a grin split her face. "Oh!" she let out, and hastily pulled the frying pan from the stove and set it aside on the counter before making her way to me. She had a lovely heart shaped face, I saw, with huge, bright green eyes. She also had a welcoming smile on her face as she walked over to face me, and I found that I instantly liked her, automatically smiling back at her. "You must be Leah," she said, tilting her head to the side. Her smile softened. "Oh look at you. You're perfect." 

I felt a traitorous blush creep up my neck and simply smiled at her. "Thank you so much. Hum..." 

"Oh. Sorry. Isabelle," she let out, and held out her hand to me. "Isabelle Joubert. I'm a close friend of Gabriel's." 

I shook her hand. "Leah Grey. Pleased to meet you, Isabelle." 

She grinned. "Pleasure's all mine, Leah. Are you hungry? Come and sit and I'll fix you something," she said eagerly, waving to the stools by the lunch counter. "It's almost ready." 

I smiled and perched myself on one of the stools to watch as she finished cooking what appeared to be omelettes. She served them on two plates, added some grilled ham which had been sitting in another pan and pieces of toasted bread, and carried the two plates towards me. She chose the stool next to mine and smiled. "So," she said, a naughty twinkle in her eye. "You must be the one distracting our Alpha." 

"I'm not sure who's distracting who," I said with a chuckle, picking at my food. "I haven't slept well in a week." 

She laughed, obviously delighted. "Oh yes, I can relate to that." 

"Do you know where Gabriel is?" I asked her. "He was already gone when I woke up." 

"He's outside with the guys," she said, nodding towards the patio doors in the adjoining dining room. "They should smell the food and come in any moment now." 

I laughed and glanced at the doors, but decided to eat first. The food was delicious and I was ravenous, so I ate with gusto. "This is delicious," I complimented her, finishing off my plate. 

"I love cooking," she said, her cheeks flushing pink with pleasure. "It's one of the reasons I love being here; I can do it for a lot of people." 

"Well I'm sure you're a great cook." I was going to say more, but heard the patio door slide open. I glanced back at it, expecting Gabriel to walk in, but hardly repressed a disappointed grimace when I saw Gabriel's right-hand man Cedric Provencher walking in. The look on Isabelle's face as he stepped towards us, though, was the complete opposite of what I felt. It lit up like a Christmas tree and she gave him such a loving look that I was left in no doubt about her feelings. I watched, dumbfounded, as he cupped her cheek and leaned in close to her to gently kiss her forehead, his other hand going down to tenderly stroke the curve of her stomach. She shut her eyes with a soft smile and I averted my eyes, feeling suddenly terribly out of place. 

"Leah, hello," Cedric said, and I glanced back to see him standing behind Isabelle, one of his hands lying on her shoulder. "Good morning." 

"Hallo, Cedric," I replied as I turned on the stool to face them. I gave him a sweet smile. "You're not still here on babysitting duty, are you?" 

One of the corners of his lips twitched up and his eyes narrowed in amusement. "I t'ink Gabriel is doing a good job of watching over you on 'is own, non?" 

Isabelle chuckled, and I smirked at Cedric. "Well where is he, then?" 

"He is coming soon," he simply said, unhelpfully, and turned to look down at Isabelle. "I 'ave to go back to Montréal. Will you come wit' me?" he asked. "Elise offered to drive you back at de end of de afternoon if you want to stay." 

"I'll stay a bit more," she said, and tilted up her chin for a kiss. He gave her a real, genuine smile as he leaned down, and I was surprised to see how much it completely transformed his classic features. Cedric definitely was the type of man who needed to smile more. The smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared as he gave me a polite nod before turning and walking away towards the main hall. 

"You're mated to Cedric," I stated, still surprised. Mr. Grumpy and Miss Sunshine, ha. Mate bonds were sometimes hard to understand. 

She smiled at me, arching a pale eyebrow at me. "You don't like him." It wasn't a question, and I thought that she must have known her mate well not to sound upset about it, either. 

I shrugged and shook my head. "I don't hate him. But he hasn't gone out of his way to make me like him, either." 

"You will," she said confidently, and shook her head. "It takes him a long time to trust people." I must have looked at her funny, since she arched an eyebrow at me. "He's concerned, Leah. You pretty much have Gabriel wrapped around your finger."  

I opened my mouth to speak but found nothing else to say than "Really?" 

She smiled at my reaction. "He feels that you could hurt him. Cedric is a protective friend. They're practically brothers, you know." She shook her head and slid down her stool. "I should go and help him pack his things." She moved to pick up my plate, but I waved her off. 

"Go, go. I'll clean up." 

She gave me a grateful smile. "Thank you, Leah." She turned to leave the kitchen, and I was left alone with my thoughts. Hurt Gabriel? my wolf repeated, obviously insulted. As if we could. 

I bit my lower lip and reached up to touch the dark spot on my shoulder, hidden under my shirt. It was only a temporary mark and it would fade in a day, but the message behind it wasn't so subtle. He wouldn't give me a mating bite unless we talked about it first, I knew, but thinking about such an important, significant action made me dizzy. 

Why? I thought angrily as I picked up the two empty plates and carried them to the sink. Why couldn't I see this for what it was? Why did I feel like I was being thrown off a cliff each time I even remotely considered the idea that Gabriel was my true mate? I washed the plates and left them to dry in the dish drainer, and let my hands hang on the edge of the sink, letting my gaze drift to the open window in front of me. 

I had been pressured to leave my family after I was Turned. I then wandered for the past twenty years moving from one place to another, never spending more than a year or two in one place. Not once, since I had been Turned, had I felt like I belonged somewhere... until now. My last two years in Montréal had been the longest I had spent anywhere, and Laurie was the closest friend I ever had since my life as a human. I suppose that explains some of my commitment issues, I thought as I reached for the towel hanging on a hook. I worried, unconsciously, that something could still happen that would make me have to leave again. Eventually, the truth would come out about my past and I would once again be cast out as the unwillingly Turned Were, as a stranger, as a walking mistake, the Were who couldn't be one with her wolf. I had gotten used to that kind of treatment, in a way, but this time, the idea of having to leave this life, of leaving my job and my small home, of leaving the loving friends I had made, of leaving Gabriel... It made my heart squeeze tightly in my chest, and my throat tightened painfully. I didn't want to have to leave. 

I was startled when warm hands suddenly touched my waist, hearing a soft chuckle behind me. I had been so deep in my thoughts that I hadn't heard anyone come in, and I shut my eyes with a deep shiver as Gabriel's strong arms wrapped around me. He nuzzled my neck and pulled me back against his chest, and I rested my arms over his with a relieved sigh, leaning my head back against his shoulder. "You seem distracted," he whispered in my ear. 

"Just random thoughts," I answered softly, and gently squeezed his forearms. "Where were you? I woke up alone." 

"I was needed. It was still so early when the call came and I had no choice, I had to leave. So I let you sleep." 

"Thank you. But please wake me up next time." 

He chuckled, tightening his arms around me, and nibbled on my earlobe. "Next time?" he breathed huskily, and I bit my lower lip as a hot bolt of desire shot down my spine. 

"If you're up for it," I whispered. 

He laughed and kissed his way down the side of my neck, until he reached the junction of my neck and shoulder. He stopped there and I felt him nip my skin gently with his teeth. "Leah," he sighed. I shivered again, and my heart skipped a few beats before resuming much faster. "I almost bit you last night, chérie," he whispered. "I wanted to. I still do." 

My heart stopped again and I opened my eyes in surprise. I turned around in his arms to look up at him. "Gabriel..." 

"Is it not the same for you?" he asked. His gaze searched mine, and my breath caught in my throat. He looked so serious, with his eyebrows drawn together in a slight frown. A flicker of doubt crossed his hazel eyes at my hesitation; my wolf growled in my mind at the sight of it and gave me what I could only call a mental shove. Say something! she nearly shouted at me. 

"Yes," I said softly, and watched his expression relax. "Gabriel... This... This is going so fast." I bit my lower lip. "We barely know each other, I know nothing about you. And... well I haven't been in a relationship in decades." I gave him a small smile. "Literally." 




Factors of Change Ch. 04



He laughed softly and shook his head. "Lili..." He hesitated a moment, and shook his head. "You can feel it, though, non? What does your wolf say?" 

I stared at him for a moment before shutting my eyes. What do you say? I called to her, even though I already knew. All week, every thought she got through to me was about Gabriel, about impressing him, about getting close to him. About wanting him. Taking him. My wolf, obviously excited about this impromptu consultation, pushed and probed my mind, but I hastily shoved her back as I usually did and opened my eyes, unwilling to give her control. "Yes, I feel it," I breathed as I met his gaze. "She wants you." I gave him a small smile. "Quite badly." 

He smiled. "She knows what is good for you. Do you not trust her?" 

No. It was the only answer that I could think of, and it threw me off as I realized I couldn't really say it out loud. No, I did not trust her. I liked her enough; I liked her company and her energy, and I liked her beauty. I liked how she could run like the wind and make me feel more freedom than I ever could in my human form. I liked her counseling, in a certain measure, and having her in my mind had given me a lot of confidence over the years. But letting her take control of my heart? Letting her decide how I would live my life? No. I did not trust her with that. She was a part of my mind, but she wasn't me. I knew how wrong that was: all Weres trusted their wolf. But mine had been forced upon me, and no one had ever thought of showing me how to deal with that, with her presence in my mind, with her influence on my life. I had done that on my own. 

I wasn't sure how much of my thoughts showed on my face, but Gabriel had been watching me closely, his eyes slowly narrowing in a thoughtful manner. "Leah," he slowly said, and I realized I still hadn't even given him an answer. "Who Turned you?"  

I stared at him, frozen like a deer in headlights, my mind racing as I broke into a cold sweat. This is it, I thought frantically. He's a smart man; of course he's figured it out. This is the moment where it ends. What will he say? "I... I don't know," I finally let out in a breath, keeping my gaze locked to his as I waited for the heartbreak. 

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his lips parted. "You..." he started hesitantly, but sudden loud footsteps in the hallway interrupted him. 

"Gabriel," a tall, breathless man said, stopping in the doorframe. Gabriel turned around and gave him a dark look. 

"Tom. Can you please wait two minutes?" he said tersely. 

The man shook his head, an agitated look on his face. "Sorry. Old MacKenzie just disappeared. His mate's been looking for him since yesterday, she just called here." He held up the wireless receiver and suddenly tossed it to Gabriel, who held out his hand in reflex and adroitly caught it. "She's waiting for your call." 

Gabriel looked down at the receiver, his lips pressed tightly into a worried frown. He made up his mind quickly, though, and nodded. "Merci, Tom. Round up the Six in the study. All but Cedric, he is already on his way back into town." The man named Tom nodded briefly and, after an intensely curious look and a polite nod in my direction, turned around and hurried back where he came from. 

I avoided looking at Gabriel's face. I had placed my hands against the granite counter behind me, gripping the hard edge tightly enough to hurt. I had no idea who Old McKenzie was, or who exactly the mysterious Six were, but I couldn't help but wish Tom had come in with the news a few minutes earlier and stopped this disastrous conversation in time. I felt Gabriel turn his head to look down at me. "I have to take care of this," he said in an even tone. "What were you planning to do?" 

"This sounds like it could take some time," I said, keeping my eyes on his feet. I only noticed then that he was wearing jeans and sneakers - quite a change from the business attire I had only seen him in until then. "I think... I'll just head home." 

"Leah," he sighed. He stepped closer to me, moving close enough that I had no choice but to look up at him. His expression surprised me. He looked concerned and confused, but his handsome features held none of the disgust I had been used to for my whole Were life. "I will call you tonight. Leah... Everything will be alright." 

No, it won't. Stop saying that, I thought disbelievingly. I nodded mutely and moved back to walk away, but he suddenly caught my arm and pulled me back to him. I looked up at him in surprise as he leaned down to kiss me passionately. His lips moved against my mouth and I gave in with a moan, parting my lips to let his tongue dance against mine. Our kiss continued with him not letting me pull back, until he had stripped my concerns one by one with nothing more than his lips and devilish tongue. I was feeling more than a little light headed when he finally released me with a soft gasp. 

"Never doubt me," he whispered fervently against my lips. I shook my head slightly, and he kissed me again, much gentler. "Be careful." I simply nodded, at a complete loss for words, and watched him turn around to walk out, leaving me alone in the empty kitchen with my racing thoughts and my thundering heart. 

Well. Now he knew that I had no idea who it was that had bitten me. Chances were he would easily figure out that it hadn't been consensual and that I had been Turned into a werewolf against my will. And then what would he do about it? 

Never doubt me, he had said. He had meant it, wanted me to trust him. 

And I really wanted to try.



Factors of Change Ch. 05



Hello everyone! I'll start with a small apology for taking so long in updating; those who have read my bio know that I'm a teacher and a mother, and the beginning of the school year is simply a madly hectic time of the year for me. I simply had no time. But look! I managed to get it done. I should warn you that my first updates were rather quick only because it was summertime, and you should probably expect another few weeks before the next chapter. I'm sorry it takes so long, but other priorities have taken place, and I simply can't go to bed at midnight every night anymore. But I check often and feed on your comments. Thank you so much for commenting and emailing with feedback. You are all wonderful. 

Once again, many warm thanks to Doctime for his encouraging comments and the editing of this chapter. A big merci goes to my new buddy Payenbrant, as well, who unknowingly helped writing a large chunk of William's lesson. 

Enjoy! 

*** 

Chapter 5 : A bad dream, a brain theory, and an epiphany 

David was half asleep, his eyes barely open as he stared absentmindedly into the fire. Brandon was unnecessarily poking the fire, moving the logs around using the long, straight stick he'd found as a poker. Nina was next to me, her eyes on her hands as she slowly worked her knife into a small chunk of pine wood, tracing abstract patterns on it. "That's a kitchen knife," Brandon pointed out as he looked at her. "You're going to blunt it." 

"It's mine, stop complaining," she said with a smile, not taking her eyes off her work. "I've got another one for cooking." 

Brandon snorted softly, knowing better than to argue. He got to his feet and walked over to the edge of our camp, between the two tents where we had piled up enough dry wood to last us a few days. I let my gaze lazily follow him as he bent over the pile of wood to gather a few pieces, before I shut my eyes with a tired sigh. I was lying rather uncomfortably on the uneven ground, my head propped up on a small log, but it had been a long day of trekking in the mountains, and I was unbelievably tired. 

I opened one eye and cast a longing look at David's truck, parked a little way down a dark path. I could barely see it, but the moonlight shone on the surface of the hood. Wandering about rocky, steep mountains all day wasn't my thing, really, but Nina had insisted there was an available spot in the boys' truck and that she "sure didn't like the idea of being alone in her tent," so I'd grudgingly accepted to spend part of my vacation in the Rockies. While I had to admit that the scenery was beautiful and that it was a very nice change from my regular urban environment, I was also looking forward to going back to my most underrated amenities, such as warm showers, electric power and private bathrooms. Until then, though, I tried to make the best out of the experience. 

I was about to close my eyes again, when I noticed a large shadow flashing past the pick up truck and then back into the trees. I gasped and sat up quickly, squinting between the trees. Had I imagined something? Was it a bear, maybe? We were always careful to keep the food out of their reach. I couldn't hear anything else other than the sound of Brandon's rustling through the pile of campfire wood and Nina's knife scrapping against her chunk of wood. Bears were common in the Rockies, but we were chatting and had a relatively large fire going, and I knew bears don't like noise. Besides, they don't move silently, either, and we would have heard it coming. Still, I felt very uneasy, and kept my eyes on the path leading to the truck. 

"You okay?" Brandon asked as he stepped back into the light of the fire. He was carrying an armload of wood and dumped it on the ground at his feet. 

"I thought I saw something," I answered with a shake of the head. "Can't see anything now, though. I must have imagined it." I gave him a small smile. "I'm a bit tired." 

"Aren't we all?" said a groggy voice to my right, and I turned to see David blinking sleepily. He yawned wide enough to almost dislocate his jaw as he slowly sat up. "I say we should all be in our sleeping bags." 

"It's only 9:30," Nina pointed out with a chuckle. "The sky's barely gone dark. It's too early for bed, I say." 

"It's not if you're planning on going down the river on a kayak for half of the next day, and then climbing back to camp with the kayak on your shoulders before dinnertime," he grumbled back, and I smirked. I had mixed feelings about the next day's plans as well. Brandon laughed and was about to respond when a loud rustle coming from behind him had us all looking towards the tents. 

It all seemed to happen in slow motion, but it couldn't have lasted more than mere seconds. A gigantic, dark grey wolf leaped out from between the two tents and tackled Brandon to the ground with a snarl. I screamed and jumped to my feet, and felt Nina's hand grab onto my arm tightly enough to leave bruises. She shouted something I couldn't understand and pulled hard on my arm, as we turned to frantically run towards the truck. David was behind us, shouting at us to run faster, but his voice was cut short with another vicious snarl. 

I sobbed and ran as fast as I could, as everything behind us went silent. Almost silent, all but the quick thump of paws on the dirt. I heard the growling and pushed Nina out of the way, just as something violently tackled me from the back, sending me face first into the ground. I screamed in terror and struggled violently, trying to turn over onto my back, raising my arms to desperately protect my head, my face, my throat. Jaws closed painfully on my left arm and yanked it away from my face, and I screamed in pain as I reached up to push against the dirty fur of the rabid wolf. I could see its white teeth, its angry, crazy amber eyes, and the gleam of the small kitchen knife Nina was trying to use against it. And, over her screaming and mine, over the wolf's snarls as it pulled on my arm and yanked its head left and right and left and right, came the persistent sound of a rap against wood, strong enough to tear through the hazy fog of my dream, and yank me out of it and back into reality. 

I woke up with a gasp and opened my eyes to find myself sprawled on the couch in my living room. I'd left the lights off and it was dark, except for the light from the street lamps outside and the bluish glow from the television. It was still on, loudly braying the evening news about a bad car accident in Pointe-aux-Trembles. 

I pushed myself up and noticed the cushion I had been laying on had a large wet patch on it. "Ugh," I let out as I reached up to my face, wondering if I'd drooled all over it in my sleep, but found my cheeks to be wet with tears instead. My eyes were burning and I rubbed at them as I sat up, wiping my cheeks dry, until it dawned on me that the sound that had torn through my dream and awakened me was a knock on the door of my apartment. 

I got up to answer it, thinking it might be my neighbour asking me to lower the volume of the TV. I turned it off on my way to the door, and heard another knock, this time followed by a very familiar voice. "Leah?" I heard through the door. Gabriel. 

"Oh," I gasped softly, as I stood and hurried over to pull the chain and open the door. Light from the hallway instantly poured in and I blinked up at Gabriel like a mole out of the ground. I had enough time to notice the tired lines on his face and his generally disheveled appearance, before his exhausted expression turned to concern as he noticed my undoubtedly red, puffy eyes and wet cheeks. 

"Are you crying?" he asked as he stepped in and closed the door behind him. We were plunged into darkness again, but the light from the windows was enough for me to see the frown on his face. 

"It's nothing," I let out, waving a hand in dismissal. My voice came out choked and raspy, though, and his frown deepened. "I fell asleep on the couch. I had a bad dream." 

He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again with a sigh, reaching out to wrap his arms around me instead. I leaned into him with relief, laying my head on his chest and snaking my arms around his waist to hug him back. We didn't move for a long time as I listened to the slow, steady beat of his heart, slowly relaxing against him as his hand idly smoothed back my hair. "Thank you," I whispered when I had control over my voice again. 

"Are you alright?" he asked, looking down at me. 

I nodded. "I will be." I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Are you?" 

He gave me a wry smile. "I will be," he mimicked. 

I smiled back, although shakily. "We do have a few things to talk about, don't we." 

"We do," he agreed, reaching up to stroke my cheek. "Will you tell me why you looked so scared this morning, Lili?" 

I stared into his eyes for a long moment before I nodded. "Can we go walk?" I pleaded in a whisper. "I know it's late, but... I need some air." He nodded and I pulled from him to grab a jacket, before we stepped down the stairs and headed outside. 

I closed my eyes as the fresh night air hit my face, and breathed in deeply. The air had been stifling inside my apartment, and the warm spring breeze felt wonderful. Gabriel reached out for my hand and I let him take it, moving closer to his side as we turned to stroll down the sidewalk. "Did you find him?" I asked after a moment, realizing I hadn't asked anything about his day. "This... Old MacKenzie?" 

He shook his head. "Joey. Joseph MacKenzie," he corrected. "The other guys call his wife his mate because it is the only thing they know. They call him 'Old' to tease him, and he lets them." 

"Why would they make fun of him?" I asked with an unladylike snort. "How old is he?" 

"64," he answered softly. "Almost 65." 

That was only ten years more than my own age, and wasn't old at all. It was considered young for a Were, so... "He's not a Were, is he?" I asked gently. "That's why they call him old. He looks older than a Were would at that age." Of course, I thought: just after they reached adulthood, Weres aged about ten times slower than humans do, and a Born Were in his sixties would barely look older than a human did in his mid-twenties. 

Gabriel nodded, and smiled softly. "He'd want me to tell you he does look a bit younger than his real age, though." 

I was silent, wondering what this human had to do with Weres. I guessed he knew about them to so easily tolerate the nickname they had given him. "For how long have you known him?" 

"Nearly my whole life," he answered. "We grew up together." 

I stopped walking and stared up at him, surprised. "You? You're 64?" I finally blurted out. 

"63. Do I look so much older?" he teased, arching an eyebrow at me. 

I nearly snorted. He looked barely older than his mid-thirties and he knew it. I quickly readjusted my estimation of the time he had been a Were; if he had been turned in his early thirties and hadn't much aged since then, then he hadn't been a Were for much longer than I had. "No, you don't. And he knows about Weres?" 

He nodded. "I could hardly hide it from him," he said casually. He reached for my hand again and tugged on it so we would start walking again. "He was there when I was turned into a Were." 

I mulled over this new piece of information for a moment. "Why wasn't he turned as well?" 

"It was offered to him. He did not want it." He shook his head. "He has six younger brothers and sisters, all very close to him. He did not want to have to leave them." 

"And you left yours?" I asked it without really thinking about it, stung at the thought of leaving one's family by choice. Gabriel's expression quickly darkened, though, and his fingers twitched in my grip as he stared at the street ahead. 

"No," he said simply. "I am an only child." 

I bit my lower lip and squeezed his hand. "Baby, I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to—" 

"C'est rien," he interrupted in a firm, but low voice. He was silent for a moment before he shook his head, as if to dislodge a thought, and let out a deep breath through his nose. "Joey went missing Friday night. We looked everywhere he might have gone today, but we could not find him. It is very unlike him." 

"We?" I asked. "Is that you and those... the Six? You mentioned them. Who are they?" 

He chuckled softly, relaxing a bit. "It is a nickname they gave themselves. No one else calls them that, it is just..." He shrugged. "We would say 'the six of you', 'the six of us', 'the six betas'... it was just shortened. It is a bit silly, really, but the name has stuck." He glanced down at me. "They are my six closest betas. Cedric, William, Isabelle, Mark, Thomas and Elise. You have already seen most of them." 

"Mmhmm. I guessed. Who else knows about Joey Mackenzie?" 

"No one," he answered somberly. "Only them. I trust them. They are the ones taking turns in keeping an eye on your home." 

"Oh they must be thrilled about that." 

He smiled softly, looking down at me, and then looked back ahead as we slowly came to a stop at an intersection. "Why would they not want to keep you safe, Lili? They are happy for me." 

I looked up at him, staring at his perfect face for a long moment. This felt like the moment before a bungee jump, I reflected: I trusted Gabriel as I trusted the rope, but there was still that fear, that tiny risk that the rope would snap, and I would break my neck hitting the ground. "I need to tell you something," I said in a quick breath, before I could change my mind. His features took an interested expression, and I could tell he knew what I was talking about, but I said it anyway. "About... about the way I was turned." 

"You only said you did not know who it was that turned you," he said slowly. I nodded, swallowing hard, and he sighed. He reached for my hand as he started walking again, lacing his fingers with mine as he held my hand firmly tucked into the crook of his arm. "It will be easier if we walk. Go ahead." 

"I don't know who it was, because he didn't stop to tell me," I said, closing my eyes and leaning against him as I recalled the terror of my dream. "It was a rogue, Gab. I was camping with friends in Banff, thirty years ago, and he attacked our camp." 

He didn't freeze or stop walking, but his features darkened noticeably, and his fingers tightened compulsively over mine. "Did he bite all of you?" 

"He killed two of my friends, and bit me in the arm. We made it out in time for Nina to get out of it without a scratch." I smiled weakly and opened my eyes, keeping them on my shoes as we walked. "She slashed it across the face with her knife to save me. It gave up on us and ran away, and she drove me to the nearest hospital. It should have been a two hour drive, and it took only one. She was a brave girl, Nina." 

"What happened to it?" he asked in a tensed tone. "The rogue?" 

I shook my head. "I don't know, Gabriel." 

"What about the local pack?" He paused, looking down at me. He looked upset, of course, and I really hoped it wasn't directed towards me. "Did they contact you? Help you?" 

"No. Not that I know of, anyway. We took a plane back home as soon as we could." I pursed my lips nervously. "Gabriel, I'm sorry." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, obviously making a gracious effort not to snap. "The Banff pack should have taken care of you, Leah. They should have helped you with the change." 

"I left before they could, Gab. It's not their fault. Besides, they probably took care of the rogue." 

He snorted softly, but didn't voice his doubt about that possibility. "What happened then, Lili?" he asked in a more gentle tone. He stopped us and turned to face me. "When you shifted, what did you do?" 

"I felt strange, of course. My arm healed twice as quickly as it should have," I answered. "Then I started shifting. During my sleep. I would have dreams where I was an animal, walking around my apartment, and I would wake up in the morning in my living room or in the kitchen, completely naked, with my clothes laying in shreds in my bed and claw markings on the inside of my apartment door. I was terrified," I ended softly. "I looked into it, found information and folklore about werewolves that I would have found ridiculous in any other situation. I couldn't believe it, but I knew it was a matter of time before the wolf I turned into managed to get out of my home, and hurt someone. And somehow, I knew there would be no coming back from that if it happened." 

Gabriel was staring down at me, a shocked look on his face. Little wonder he was: I had literally been inches away from going rogue. That was the very reason turning a human against his will was illegal. I should have been taken care of by a pack. I should have been taught how to control the shifting and stay conscious throughout, but as it was, I had to learn by myself. 

"I knew I needed to find a place where I would be alone," I continued. "I would drive all the way over to New Jersey, to Warthon State Forest. It was the largest I could find. I would go there during the weekend, go deep into the woods, and set up camp there over night. It took a while, but I slowly stopped shifting at home. I started getting glimpses of consciousness while I was in wolf form, going through the woods. And she started speaking to me," I ended in a whisper. "My wolf, in my mind. That was what she wanted, I think. To be set free, in nature. She was probably feeling trapped, waking up in my apartment. So we made a deal. I took her to run in the woods once a week, and she left me alone the rest of the week." 

"You made a deal with your wolf," Gabriel repeated, sounding slightly confused at the idea. 

I nodded. "It worked well for years. Then I realized I wasn't aging," I said with a sigh. "Everyone was getting into their thirties, getting fat, feeling more tired... I just didn't age. I felt the same, every day. And I knew I would have to leave eventually, before someone noticed. I stayed until I my 35th birthday. I had been a Were for ten years and I couldn't stay. I left for good," I finally ended, a large lump in my throat. "It's been twenty years since I've seen anyone. I haven't gone back since." 

Gabriel sighed and stepped closer to pull me to his chest. He hugged me tight, and pressed his lips to my temple in a gentle kiss. "I am sorry," he whispered. "So sorry you had to live through all of that on your own. I wish I had been there before to help you." 

"So do I," I whispered into his neck. I closed my eyes and relished in his warmth and familiar scent for a long time. "It could be a problem, you know," I eventually said. I didn't look up to him, keeping my face in the crook of his shoulder instead. "Some packs don't tolerate unwillingly Turned werewolves." 

"Because they are unstable in the beginning, and cannot control themselves. But you have been a Were for thirty years, and have never caused trouble," he pointed out, and tightened his arms around me. "It is not a problem, Lili. It never will be." 

I let out a long, shaky breath, and felt the weight of years of worry slowly ebb from my shoulders. "Oh thank you," I whispered, and felt the lump grow in my throat, this time with overwhelming relief. "Thank you so much for that." 

He chuckled breathlessly, surprised, and looked down at me. "What else did you expect me to say?" 

"I don't know," I said, barely controlling the quiver in my voice. "I don't know. I was just scared. I knew you wouldn't want to push me away, but that maybe the pack... the pack would force you to do it." 

"Oh Lili," he whispered, smiling down at me as he reached up and cupped my face. "I would not let my pack do anything to ever hurt you. They never will." His lips twitched up a bit more. "And I cannot push you away. I could never say no to you, ma chérie." 




Factors of Change Ch. 05



I sniffed and smiled up at him. "You make it sound like a challenge. I'm sure I'll manage something." 

He chuckled. "If you wish." He paused, and pursed his lips for a moment. "How do you get along with your wolf now, Lili?" 

"Fairly well, I think," I said, and smiled sadly. "I just don't know how to interpret everything she's trying to tell me. I know I'm not supposed to have trouble, that I should trust her with everything, but I just... can't." I looked down and absentmindedly smoothed the collar of his shirt. "I think I need some time alone by myself, to think, and to figure it out, Gab." 

He tensed slightly under my touch, and I kept my eyes turned down to avoid looking at his face. "How long? And where would you go?" he asked slowly. 

"A few days, at the compound. I want to give some free time to my wolf, time to let her run for as long as she wants, wherever she wants. Then, hopefully, I will understand her better." 

"Alone?" he pressed. "The compound is empty during the week." 

"I know that. That's what I need, Gabriel," I insisted, looking up at him. 

He frowned, looking down at me. He obviously didn't like the idea, and I thought for a moment that I had actually managed to make him say no to me. I was prepared to argue, when he suddenly let out a deep sigh. "I will have William come with you." 

It was my turn to frown. "No. Gabriel, I said I wanted to be alone. I don't need a watchdog following me at the compound." 

He looked down his nose at me in a perfect picture of stubbornness. "You might have forgotten that one of my oldest friends has just disappeared without reason, but I have not. And I am not letting you leave for what may be days, to run in the deep woods where no one can help you should something happen. You want to be on your own, I understand. But someone will keep an eye on you." 

My first impulse was to argue, but I had to concede his point. I sighed softly, and smoothed back my hair nervously. "Will he follow me everywhere?" 

"From a distance. You will not see or hear him, and he will give you all the privacy you need." He kept his eyes on me, searching my face. "You do understand why I insist on this, don't you?" 

"Yes," I let out in a breath. "Yeah, I do. You're just being smart, Ô wise one." He laughed breathlessly and pulled me close again, and I nuzzled him under the chin. "So you can say no to me," I pointed out to him. 

"I did not," he argued. "I agreed; I only gave you a condition." 

I snorted softly. "You would have said no if I'd refused to go with William." 

"No. I simply would have found another way." 

I laughed, believing him. I supposed I would have had William with me anyway, whether I knew about it or not. I cuddled closer to him. It was still surprisingly warm for this time of the night, and the neighbourhood was silent around us, except for the occasional car zooming by on the boulevard and in the distance, the siren of a police cruiser far, far away. "I should get back home and write an email to my boss," I whispered. "He's expecting me at my desk tomorrow." 

"Let me take care of that," he replied just as softly, resting his chin on top of my head. "I will find a reason for your unexpected time off." 

"Thank you." I tilted my head up, kissing him on the chin. He chuckled and looked down at me, and I stared at his face. My hand moved up to his face, gently tracing the tired lines at the corners of his eyes. "Come home with me?" I asked softly. "If I let you go, you're just going to go back to work, I'm sure about it. You need to sleep." I smiled softly. "And I sleep better with your body next to mine." 

"I am not going anywhere," he assured me. "Heaven knows how long it will be before I see you again." 

"I'll try not to be gone too long," I said. I shut my eyes and leaned up to kiss him again, trying to hide the fact that my heart had squeezed painfully at the thought of not seeing or talking to Gabriel for an extended period of time. 

I really hoped the solution would be easy, or else I would probably snap and bolt back to Montreal before my wolf and I figured out anything at all. And I couldn't allow that. 

*** 

While I slept, that night, Gabriel somehow had managed to arrange for William to pick me up in the morning, and had already explained my sudden leave from work by inventing a mysterious favour I had to do for him; a particular situation against which Monsieur Beaulieu could have, of course, no arguments. 

I had teasingly accused Gabriel of lying, to which he had replied that if leaving was what I really needed, and if when I came back to him my mind was clear, and my wolf and I finally understood each other, then it certainly was a favour I was doing him, whether the original purpose was to make him happy or not. 

Gabriel left my apartment early in the morning, along with an angry Berenice the cat howling in misery inside the cat carrier he was taking with him. I had no idea how long my little trip in the Laurentians would take, and while Berenice could easily be on her own for a couple of nights, I didn't want her to live alone much longer than that. Good for them, I thought, amused, as I watched him gently place the rattling and hissing cat carrier in the back of his car. They should get used to one another. 

Once Gabriel was gone, I used the time left before William picked me up to pack a light travel bag. I brought little clothing, as I was planning on spending most of my time in my wolf form anyway, so I was done quickly and already sitting on the edge of the porch outside when William's dark, shiny luxury sedan slowed down to a stop in front of me. William came out, and I was relieved when he gave me a bright, happy smile. "Hullo!" he called out with a wave as he walked around the car and hopped onto the sidewalk to reach me. I was suddenly very glad that I wasn't stuck with Mr. Cedric 'Grumpy' Provencher. At least the ride should be pleasant. 

I waved back and stood up, observing William as he walked towards me and bent to pick up my bag. He really was an impressive specimen, I thought appreciatively as he stood and grinned down at me. A true enforcer, he obviously trained to keep in top physical shape. He probably stood an inch or two taller than my Gabriel. He was very handsome, in a much more rugged way, with strong, bold features. And while I had a thing for Gabriel's longish, pale locks, William short black hair cut gave him a more mature, serious look that contradicted fiercely with the bright smile that lit up his face. His dark eyes twinkled with mischief, and I wondered for a brief moment just exactly how much he knew about the whole situation. "This all you got?" he asked, easily lifting my bag, and I nodded. 

"I won't need much." 

"I like you already," he said with approval. "Though it seems I cleaned up the back for nothin'." 

I smiled and followed him back to the car. "What were you expecting? A trunk?" 

He laughed and opened the trunk of the car and deposited the bag inside, beside his own backpack. "Nothing less, miss Grey. But I'm not complainin'." 

We made small talk the whole way north to Labelle, and parked the car in front of the Alpha's lake house before noon. Gabriel had insisted I used his bedroom, and William took my things up there, bid me a good day, and left the house in a matter of minutes after we arrived. 

I was thankful to Gabriel for his obviously clear orders to leave me alone. Standing on the large terrace at the back of the house, I silently took off my clothes and carefully folded them on the back of a wicker chair. Then I turned around and quickly shifted, and took off in the direction of the forest, giving full control to my wolf. 

*** 

Five days. For almost five days I had been running and hunting in the woods. Not once had I shifted back to my human self. It really felt good, I had to admit. My wolf was ecstatic at being given so much freedom, and I felt the effects of it as well: no work, no phones, no internet, no worries. Though I had my moments of missing cooked food or warm baths, this was as much freedom as I had ever allowed my wolf in our whole life together. It was also the longest time I had ever stayed in my wolf form. 

However... I could see no change whatsoever. 

It probably didn't help that I had no idea what I was hoping for. But I would have settled for agreeing with my wolf, for feeling as sure about Gabriel as she seemed to feel. I knew I should have agreed with her. 

But I couldn't. For the life of me, I could not bring myself to put my heart, my life, my future in the hands—paws—of another being living in my mind, to act on what seemed to me like a dangerous whim. There was no changing your mind, once a mating was official. Did I want to commit to that? 

The sun had set a few hours ago, and it was almost Friday. I had almost spent more time now not speaking to Gabriel than I had talking to him. I knew William had probably found a way to report back to his superior—we did come close enough to the lake house sometimes that he might have managed a quick phone call—but I still wondered how Gabriel felt. Was he worried? Or did he trust me and William enough to both stay safe? 

It would be Friday when the sun came up, and in the next evening, the compound would once again fill with members of the pack, coming to the compound for yet another weekend. I wouldn't be alone anymore, and I knew Gabriel would come as well. My heart picked up noticeably each time I thought about it; five days without seeing him had changed nothing in how he made me feel. And I knew what it meant, even though my stupid commitment issues kept me from acting on it. 

Long after midnight, I found myself stepping into the back yard of the large white lake house. All its windows were dark, as it stood there in the silence of the night, empty and cold. The only sounds I could hear were the crickets and the occasional croak of frogs behind me in the water, and as I stared at the emptiness around me, I realized I had it all wrong. As good as it felt to be on my own for so long, I was suddenly completely, utterly sick of being alone. 

I shifted back to my human form, naked and shivering as I climbed the steps to walk inside the house. I made a quick trip upstairs to get dressed, and came back outside a little while later to start a small campfire in the fire pit in the middle of the yard. I sat back in the grass and the dirt and stared at the flames for a moment before I let my gaze wander over to the flat, mirroring surface of the lake. And then, so suddenly I didn't even feel the tears coming, I slowly broke down into pieces.  

The first sob racked painfully through my chest, and I gasped as my throat suddenly tightened. But then the tears really came, and it was almost a relief to finally let my frustration out. It wouldn't solve anything, I kept telling myself as I vainly wiped my cheeks, again and again. But it sure felt liberating. 

The sobs slowly turned to small hiccups and sniffs, and the tears eventually stopped. After a long moment, I sniffed again and rubbed hard at my eyes, silently cursing myself. Crying would get me nowhere. 

I jumped and gasped when I heard the sudden crunch of footsteps at my left, and looked up to see William's shape stepping closer. He stopped at the outskirts of the camp fire, as if hesitant to step closer, and simply stared at me, a slight frown on his face. "Are you okay?" he called out gently. 

"I'm fine," I lied, and angrily wiped my cheeks. "Thank you." 

He narrowed his eyes slightly, obviously not believing me, and took a step towards the fire. "The Alpha told me to leave you alone, unless you asked for help." He paused, and arched an eyebrow at me. "You haven't asked, really, but you sure look like you might need it." 

I sighed, looking at him. He seemed genuinely eager to help, his dark eyes intent on my face, and I raised my hands in a helpless gesture before waving to a spot on the ground next to me. I was sick of being on my own, in any case. "You can try if you want, William. But I'm not sure anyone can help me with myself." 

He gave me a bright smile and stepped closer to sit down on the cool dirt. He crossed his legs and tilted his head to the side to look at me. His angular features seemed somber in the flickering light of the camp fire, but his eyes were friendly and concerned, his thin lips relaxed in the hint of a smile. "What is it about yourself that's causing you trouble, then?" 

I snorted softly, pulling my legs against my chest as I looked back towards the silent, calm lake. "How much do you know about Turned Weres, William?" 

"More than you think, I'd expect," was his answer, and I turned my head to look at him. He gave me a smug smile. "The Alpha didn't choose me to watch over you because of my pretty eyes." 

I smiled back at him, narrowing my eyes. "No, I wouldn't expect it was a criterion for being my bodyguard. I was surprised, in fact. Why were you the Chosen One, then?" 

"I was also turned, you know," he simply said, with a shrug of his shoulders. My mouth must have ungracefully dropped, because he chuckled. "In a way. But I was also born as a werewolf, so you could say I'm special. Turned and Born, all at the same time. They don't know what to call me." 

I stared at him a moment longer and, unable to make sense of anything he had just said, shook my head. "What does that even mean?" 

"I was conceived as a human," he said in a low voice. "But my mother couldn't have been more than a few days pregnant with me when she was attacked and bitten." He looked at me. "Since she was pregnant, she never shifted, not until after I was born. Weres can't shift if it poses a health issue." 

"What happened to her?" I asked softly. 

He shook his head. "Unwillingly Turned werewolves shift unconsciously, at first." I knew that, of course, but he seemed to think that I didn't, and I wasn't about to clear up the matter. "She must have shifted in her sleep, and found herself next to a human male she didn't recognize as her mate. She killed my father, and ran away. The local pack tracked her down and killed her." 

He had said all of it in such a detached voice that I didn't understand the true horror of his story at first. "And... you? Who found you?" 

"The pack, when they searched her house. They took me in. Another family adopted me as theirs, and I was raised by them in their home and took their name." He glanced up at me, and gave me a small smile. "Don't look so horrified. I was but a few days old—I don't remember any of it. My mother, or my father. Nothing. The Griffins are my family, and they've always been." 

"If you say so," I said softly, feeling stunned. He looked back towards the fire and I stared at his profile, wondering how much I could tell him. So far it didn't seem that Gabriel had told him anything of my untraditional upbringing. "William, is it normal for me to have... issues?" I asked him. "With my wolf?" 

He looked back at me. "It depends who coached you in your first years," he said, and I blushed furiously. He narrowed his eyes. "What kind of issues?" 

I took in a deep breath, and let it out with the words. "I can't trust her," I whispered. "No matter how hard I try, I just... can't." 

He stared at me for a moment, his eyes still narrowed in thought. "Why wouldn't you trust her?" 

"It's my life, William," I breathed. "I wouldn't put such important decisions about my life in anyone's hands, no matter how much I trusted them." 

"Hmm," he let out thoughtfully. He was silent a long moment as he looked back at the camp fire, his features lit up by the flickering flames. The fire had smoldered down and would die out soon, but neither of us moved to add wood to it. "It's curious," he said suddenly. "What is it that you think your mental wolf is, Leah?" 

I opened my mouth to answer, before I realized that I had no idea. "She's just a wolf. My wolf," I tried. 

"A wolf." He looked back at me. "And you think your wolf is in your mind, speaking to you?" He looked a bit confused, as Gabriel had, and I felt a slight flicker of doubt in my mind. Wasn't it usual? 

"I... well yes," I answered. "I know I hear a voice. Isn't it my wolf?" 

"Who taught you that it was your wolf?" 

"No one," I answered slowly. "Nobody ever taught me anything. I was never mentored by anyone. I had to learn by myself." 

His eyebrows rose nearly to his hairline as he looked me over. "I'm impressed, then, that you got so far without going rogue. Most things can't be figured out by yourself." 

"What do you mean, William?" I interrupted. I didn't want to talk about rogues. "Do you mean that I'm not supposed to hear her? See her?" I looked down as I twisted my hands in my lap. "Please tell me I'm not going crazy." 

He laughed so heartedly that I was instantly relieved. "You're not crazy," he confirmed, still chuckling. "But you have it all wrong, Leah. I'll ask you again. Try to think of an answer. What do you think the wolf in your mind is?" 

I kept staring at my hands, hesitating. "She's the wolf I turn into," I said slowly. "The wolf soul I share my body with." 

"Another soul?" he asked softly. "I suppose it was given to you when you were bitten?" 

"Wasn't it? I'm not sure I'd call it a gift, though," I added wryly. 

He sniffed derisively at the implied insult, but simply shook his head. "It's a wonder you've stayed sane for so long, Leah." 

I frowned. "Why is that?" 

"Because no one can share their mind with someone else, darling. They put people like that in institutions, to be treated by psychiatrists." He looked up at me. "You're not given another soul to live with when you're bitten by a wolf. That's not how the wolf gene works." 

"What is that voice, then, William?" I asked, my patience waning. 

He shrugged. "It's all you. Just you." 

I stared at him for a long moment, waiting for him to say more. When he didn't, I frowned at him. "Explain." 

"Well." He pursed his lips, thinking, before he reached for the long stick I'd been using as a poker. He smoothed the surface of the dirt between us with his hand before using the stick to draw a large, bean-like shape. The flames were low, but the moonlight was bright enough that I could see it clearly. "Have you heard of the triune brain theory?" he asked as he drew a line that went down from one end of the bean. 

"The what? I... no. I mean, I might have heard the term before, but I have no idea what it is." 

"It's an old theory about the evolution of the human brain," he explained, glancing up at me. "A lot of people in the scientific world don't agree with it nowadays, but it's the simplest way I know to explain things right." He glanced back at what I now guessed to be the crude sketch of a human brain and spine. "The theory went that there are three main sections in our brain. This, here," he said, tracing a small circle in the concave section of the bean, right at the top of the spine, "would be our reptilian brain. Every animal has it, according to the theory. It's the oldest, most primitive part of the brain, and it controls basic animal survival reflexes, such as aggression, dominance and territoriality." 

"Very interesting," I interrupted, wondering what the hell. He gave me a short, bland glance, but returned to his doodling without a comment. 

"This," he continued, adding a layer around the reptilian brain, "is called the limbic system. It's meant to be common to all mammals. It's the center of emotions, and controls such things as parental instinct, reproduction behaviour, long-term memory, and other things like that." He looked up at me. "Everything that you could call instinct would come from that part of the brain. The rest of it," he added, pointing at the rest of the bean shape, "is the neocortex. Some might call it the primate brain. It's the part that allows such things like reasoning, language, logical thinking and self-consciousness to humans." He paused, tapping the neocortex part. "In nature, real wolves don't think like humans. They might do such things as communicating with each other and planning an attack, but it's all controlled by their instinct, by what's called the limbic system. It has nothing to do with strategic thinking or language, or even some particular form of intelligence." 




Factors of Change Ch. 05



"But werewolves have a neocortex," I ended. "Because they're also human." 

"Exactly. But," William continued, "we are also much, much more attentive to our instincts than normal humans are. Normal humans, unlike Weres, stopped listening to it altogether, you know. Relying on your instinct is considered rash and irresponsible for them. For every decision they make in life, they need to think it over, carefully go over every pro and every con, and make a rational decision that's usually in accordance with what they might have done in the first place if they'd followed their first impulse." 

I felt myself flush at his words. He was actually describing me, and defining the whole reason I was hesitant about committing to Gabriel in the first place. "And Weres have a better instinct," I finished softly. "Is our limbic system... bigger?" 

He laughed. "It might seem that way sometimes, doesn't it? No, it isn't. But we do tend to take more heed and listen to what our instincts tell us." 

"So the voice I hear, my wolf," I said, and pursed my lips, "is the voice of my instinct?" 

"Instinct doesn't speak in words, but in feelings," he corrected, smiling at me. "The voice you hear, Leah, it's just the Were part of you that listens to it. Humans don't have that—it's the wolf gene that allows us to hear it." He shook his head. "Instincts aim for your survival and your well-being. It would never want to do something that might hurt you." 

"Why would it take the shape of a wolf in my head, then?" 

"Your mind hears a voice, and it needs it to give it a shape to understand where it comes from. It's the fact that we turn into wolves that makes us hear that voice. It only makes sense that our subconscious would shape it into a wolf." 

I turned a thoughful gaze back towards the small camp fire. "So it's me," I whispered. "It's not a wolf that's claiming Gabriel. It's just me." 

"The part of you who can feel he's your mate, Leah," William added gently. "Do you think you can trust yourself?" 

I smiled softly. "It's much easier to say yes to that, than to trust a random wolf living in my mind." 

He laughed and got to his feet. "Take your time, darling. Think about it." He looked up, where the moon had reached the middle of the sky above us. "It's late," he pointed out. "You should sleep." 

"I will," I said with a nod. "I'll just... stay here a bit more." I smiled. "With myself." 

He laughed softly. "Goodnight then, Leah." 

"Goodnight, William," I called to him as he walked back towards the trees. "Thank you." I watched him disappear into the bushes and sighed when I was alone again. I leaned back and laid on the ground, letting my gaze sweep over the starlit sky. The stars were much more visible at the compound than they were in the city, I realized—so much that there was a dizzying depth to them, as if I was actually floating among them. I shut my eyes against the feeling, and gently probed around in my mind. Are you still there? 

Always, my wolf answered, a smile in her voice. A voice that warmed my heart and that I thought I recognized, for the first time, as my own.



Factors of Change Ch. 06



Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your feedback and comments and voting. I sign on every day: every new comment is (usually) a treat and makes my day. Please don't stop!

This came to me a lot easier than the previous chapter; I guess I'm getting used to my schedule. Thank you so much for your comprehension. Please have faith in me and stop pleading with me to continue writing: I never even came close to stopping and I will not abandon this. I want to give Gabriel and Leah a proper story, even more than you want to read it. But I also need time for it, and I refuse to rush it. I would not publish anything here that I wouldn't consider the best I can do.

Thank you once more, Doctime, for your editing and commenting. I usually follow your advice. ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter 6

As the night turned into morning light, I awoke, went back inside the house and showered. Completely refreshed, I changed clothes, trading my jeans and t-shirt for a blue and white summer dress, and left my hair loose to air-dry and curl over my shoulders. Then I called out to William. The sun had barely been up when I decided it was time to leave. 

I stood by the car, as William packed our meagre belongings, and turned to look back at the lake. It really was beautiful at this early hour - the trees in the morning light reflected into its surface like a mirror and the perfectly smooth surface was only briefly broken here and there by the brief splash of a trout feeding on a hatching fly. The forest had come alive around us with a myriad of birds singing, and I thought to myself that dawn was highly underrated. I promised myself not to miss out on it so much in the future, and to get up early as much as I could, each time I returned, to simply sit down and appreciate it.

"Couldn't we just stay for the day?" William asked as he unceremoniously dropped my bag in the trunk next to his, interrupting my peaceful thoughts. He yawned widely and shut the trunk, a grumpy glint in his eyes. "It's Friday. Everyone will be here this evening. You might as well wait for him here, and we could take some more time to sleep."

"I don't want to wait, William," I answered him. "I've waited long enough."

"You do know you still have a couple hundred years to go and be with him, right?" he insisted, although I could tell he didn't quite mean it. "You're not cutting it close in any way by waiting a few more hours."

I laughed and walked over to the passenger side, as I got into the car. My mind raced, though; I still could not wrap my mind around the idea of being able to live for so many years. I watched as he got in and started the engine. "How old actually are you, William?" I asked.

He grinned. "How old do you think?"

"I was never good at guessing," I said, watching him carefully. He had been born a Were, which meant that he had grown at a regular pace until he got into his early twenties, as humans do, but then his aging had slowed down considerably. It would take several dozen years for him to age as much as a human would in five years. His face bore no obvious sign of aging, but he had also lost the last remnants of boyishness a man in his early twenties would still have. His features were bold and manly, but he was in terrific shape, and I would have guessed him to be anywhere between 30 and 40. "I have no idea," I conceded. "A hundred? Hundred and twenty?"

He laughed, surprised. "You're good. That's actually pretty close!" he said in a chuckle. "A hundred and thirteen. I was born right after the turn of the century." He glanced at me quickly before looking back at the road. "I'm not going to guess your age. It's not a polite thing to discuss with a lady."

I laughed as well, as I crossed my legs. "That's as well. I didn't age the same way as you all did. Lost a few dozen years."

"True that," he agreed. "How old were you when you were turned, though?"

"Twenty-four," I said, and turned my head to look outside the window. We had just driven off the dirt road that led to the lake and back onto the small, sinewy highway that would lead us through the low mountains and back to Montreal. I shook my head. "But I don't want to discuss that, either," I said softly, and he didn't insist.

We lapsed into a silence that dragged on uncomfortably as the miles went by. William grew restless, as we got closer to the city. As we drove through the suburbs, we were caught up in the early morning traffic. I groaned out loud—I had forgotten that it was Friday, and a work day for most people—and William also let out a deep sigh as we slowed down to an almost complete stop in what now looked more like a parking lot than a highway. "Couldn't we wait a few hours before we left?" he teased, following the car in front of us at a snail's cruising speed. "No, no, of course not. We had to make sure we'd get here right in time for the very worst of the morning rush hour."

"Oh don't you even start that." I said as I shut my eyes and leaned my head back. "It's still early, it can't be all that bad." 

"That depends on where I'm taking you," he said, and I turned my head to look at him.

"I want to see Gabriel. Wherever he is, that's where we're going."

He nodded, his lips curling up. "I know that." He nodded towards the dashboard, where the digital clock indicated 7:35. "Only I'm not sure we'll get to his home before he leaves for work."

I glanced outside at the other cars. We had just passed the last on-ramp before the last bridge and the traffic had smoothed out, letting us drive a bit faster. At least we were moving, I thought as we crossed the bridge over the small river and onto the main island. My heartbeat sped up as I listened to the familiar rhythmic thump of the tires against the joints on the concrete highway: I was home, and I was going to see Gabriel. Soon, too, if only all the other cars could just get out of our way. "So where are you taking me?" I asked him when I noticed him steering the car off the highway and onto the ramp to the Metropolitan Autoroute. "The traffic's going to be a hundred times worse here, William."

"It's the fastest way downtown. If you know a route to go there that doesn't have traffic at 8 o'clock on a weekday morning, I'm open to suggestions." I didn't know any other route and told him so, and he chuckled in answer as he reached over to turn up the volume on the radio, cutting off conversation. I leaned back in my seat with a sigh, trying not to listen to the voice of the annoying radio host, as I shut my eyes to try and let the movement of the car lull me into a nap.

***

Managing a pack the size of Montreal's is a gigantic job. The pack's wealth comes from the huge variety of business it's involved in: restaurants, hotels, manufacturing, detail, and leisure. All of the decisions regarding pack management are made in what I can only describe as the pack's headquarters, where all of the higher members have their office and where the Alpha delegates some obligations. The offices are located in the business district in downtown Montreal, in one of the many glass buildings on Peel St. 

My private driver decided that it would be more logical to take me there, since we had probably missed Gabriel at home. By some sort of miracle, we reached it in record time, and, only a little after 8 o'clock, William stopped his car and double parked in front of the building before helping me out onto the curb.

He gave his keys to an unknown Were, who appeared to be standing there waiting for him, and asked him to park the car—where, I had no idea, having never dared to try and park my own car downtown—and led me inside. I followed him through the crowded lobby and into the elevator that then took us to the 15th story. He was silent but looked relaxed the whole time. He was also obviously tired and I hoped he would be given the rest of the day off; I rather thought he deserved at least that for putting up with my wolf and me for almost a week.

Many eyes turned towards us as we stepped into the pack offices, but no one commented, or tried to stop us as William steered me through the hallways until he stopped in front of a closed door. He lifted a hand to gently rap on the door; when no one answered, he simply shrugged and reached down to open it. "Are you allowed to do that?" I asked in a chuckle as he pushed open the door to reveal a large, but empty office.

William laughed softly. "You can wait for him here. It shouldn't be long." He glanced at me, lifting an eyebrow. "Do not touch anything."

"Of course not. I wouldn't dare."

He snorted softly, but smiled and stepped aside so that I could walk in the room. I heard the click of the door closing gently behind me as he left me on my own and I stood still, looking around.

I breathed deeply and instantly shut my eyes in bliss. Even though he wasn't there, everything seemed to have been permeated with Gabriel's scent. I shivered in pleasure and anticipation as I breathed the now familiar smell of fresh leaves, warm earth and sweet spices that was so distinctly his. 

My flats made no sound as I slowly made my way across the room on the thick, dark blue carpet. The wall across from the door was composed of large windows from floor to ceiling. They faced the east so that the morning sunlight poured in now, but would be of no hindrance during the rest of the day. The wall on my right was covered in bookshelves. I walked over there, interested, but was quickly reminded that this was an office, not a library, as I skimmed the titles and found them to be mostly all utility books, not novels. I glanced at the higher shelves, where some leather-bound, older looking books caught my eye, but left them to wander over to the large oak desk that sat in front of the windows instead. I walked around it to sit in a large leather chair, leaning back and making it swing around for a few full 360° turns before I stopped and glanced at the papers strew over the surface of the desk. True to my word, though, I didn't touch anything. I could only see lists of numbers and official papers, in any case: nothing even remotely interesting to my eyes.

What was interesting, though, was the absence of anything personal on his desk, or on the shelves or on the walls. The office was very well decorated, of course, with paintings and plants and old fashioned wooden furniture, but it could as well have been a perfect picture taken from a home improvement magazine. No pictures, no trinkets, nothing that might have said 'Gabriel St-Louis' to me. I had to admit that I found it a bit peculiar, considering all the time he spent here, that he would not have personalized the office more than that in the several years since he had become the Alpha. 

Then again, maybe he simply was too busy to keep personal things here. I hadn't even seen his home, after all. "Leave off, Grey," I mumbled to myself, shaking it off. "Whose picture is he going to keep here? His business associates?" I glanced back at the desk, letting my gaze sweep over the surface until it stopped on a spot right next to the computer screen. I smiled and reached out to push the desk lamp aside a few inches in order to clear out a bit of space. Maybe we could take a picture together at the lake—this weekend, perhaps. Then he would have something of his own in here.

Bored, I briefly set aside my promise not to touch anything and opened the top drawer. I'm not sure what I had been expecting, but I sighed in resignation as I reached in and stirred through the boringly standard stack of pens, pins and random pieces of paper. The only surprising thing about it was the mess inside the drawer, which was a stark contrast to the orderliness of the rest of the office and desk. Feeling inspired, I picked up a few pens and pencils and scattered them across the desk, along with a few pieces of paper and various business cards. I tipped the desk lamp to the other side and browsed through the ringtones of the office phone on his desk, going through them until I found the most annoying one. After unplugging the computer screen, emptying the box of paper clips on his chair and hiding the wireless mouse in the lower drawer, between two files, I reached for a pen and a blank sheet of paper, wondering what to write, before I thought of a better way to sign my crime. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I reached under my dress for my pink panties, and I sat squirming on the big leather chair as I slid them off my bottom and down my legs. I let out a soft, breathless laugh as I opened the top drawer and deposited the soft cotton undergarments carefully on top of everything else, and slid the drawer closed. Now, his desk was personalized.

I tugged my dress down and back into place and waited restlessly for a few more minutes. I had just gotten up to go look outside of the window when I heard footsteps in the hallway outside the closed door. I turned around just as the door opened, and watched as Gabriel stepped in. He saw me and froze in his tracks, one hand still on the door handle and a takeout cup of coffee in the other. He was dressed nicely, as always, in a black suit. The top button of his crisp white shirt was left undone; I supposed he didn't go as far as wearing a tie. I smiled at the thought and his face lit up as he smiled back. "Have a nice trip?" he asked in his smooth, deep voice, as he closed the door behind him. 

I shivered at the tone of his voice, and found myself slowly walking across the room toward him, drawn to him like a moth to a streetlight. "Very nice," I answered, keeping my eyes locked on his. I stopped in front of him and reached up both hands to his chest, gently running my fingers over the lapels of his jacket. His scent was overwhelming now, wonderfully mixed with the fresh smell of soap and aftershave he gave off. The ends of his hair were still damp; he'd showered not long ago. "But very lonely," I admitted softly, tugging gently on the fabric as if it needed straightening. 

"Really," he replied in an equally soft tone. He set his cup on a nearby table and reached up to cup my face with his warm hands. His pale hazel eyes never left mine, questioning, but he said nothing, lightly running his thumbs over my cheeks instead. 

"I talked to William," I whispered. "Thank you for sending him with me. He helped a lot."

His hands paused and he tilted up my chin. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I found... something." I gave him a small smile. "I understand everything a little better. I'm just scared, Gabriel. It's hard to believe that I've found a place where I will never get hurt again." 

"Leah, what have they done to you?" he let out with a sigh and slight shake of his head. "I could never hurt you."

"Yes, you could," I whispered, lowering my eyes. "So easily that it scares me."

"Could you hurt me?" he asked, as he moved a hand to my chin, holding it in place so that I couldn't look away. "You could hurt me, Leah. You could easily crush me, with nothing more than mere words. But would you do it?"

"No," I answered with no hesitation. The simple thought of ever saying goodbye to him tore my heart apart. I bit my lower lip and shook my head. "No, Gabriel, I could never do that."

He leaned forward to rest his forehead against mine, shutting his eyes with a deep sigh. "I want you, Leah, more than I have ever wanted anything in my life," he whispered, and my heart soared. I moved in to kiss him, but he leaned back slightly and looked down at me again. "But I need you to promise me something."

That caught me so off guard that I simply stared at him for a long moment, my mouth open. "Gabriel," I finally let out, "You know I wouldn't..."

"Don't leave," he interrupted. I shut my mouth, confused, and he shook his head. "You have moved around a lot, Leah. You have seen and been through a lot, I know that. And I hope you can tell me about it, someday. But I will not ask it of you." He ran his knuckles gently along the line of my jaw, and tucked a stray dark curl back behind my ear. "But I need you to promise me that you will not leave. That this is your pack, as much as it is mine."

I looked up into his eyes, my heart squeezing tightly in my chest. "Gab," I breathed. "With this pack... your pack, I've never felt more at home since I've been turned into a Were than I do here." I gave him a soft smile and leaned up, aiming for his lips again. "I'll never leave you. I promise."

He didn't pull back this time, and I shut my eyes as our lips met. I had intended for it to be a sweet, soft kiss and started leaning backward, but he pulled me back against his chest with a strained groan as he crushed his lips against mine.

A whole week of not having seen him quickly won over any desire I might have had to continue talking. I moaned softly as our tongues met and dug my fingers in his soft hair as he held me tight, my breasts crushed against his chest, his hands roaming down my back to my rear. He suddenly reached down and lifted me up; I gasped softly and chuckled against his lips as he carried me over to his desk. "Well aren't we hasty," I whispered as he sat me down on the edge of his desk. 

He smiled as he kissed me again, his warm hands running down my thighs and back up under my light dress. His nimble fingers inched up over my hips, froze when they encountered no panties, and gave a tight squeeze as he tore his mouth from mine. His chest heaved a few times as I smiled at him, my cheeks flushing once more. His eyes suddenly narrowed and his fingers gave my behind another squeeze. "I hope this is not how you were dressed in the car with William," he said in a warning tone. It wasn't a question, and I smiled wider, unexplainably pleased with the tone of his voice.

"Of course not. This is a more recent state of undress."

The corners of his lips quirked up. "Something is missing," he whispered, his hands moving further to cup my rear under the thin fabric of my dress

I shook my head. "Everything is in its rightful place." I chuckled. "Are you complaining?"

"No," he said gruffly, and kissed me again. His hands lifted my dress up to my waist as the kiss deepened and I reached down for his shirt to pull it out of his pants. The kiss grew more feverish and I reached down for his belt, blindly tugging on the clasp until it came loose. I had the button and fly undone in a heartbeat, and he gasped against my lips as I slipped a nimble hand into his briefs and wrapped it around his hard cock. "God," he let out in a breath, tucking his face against the crook of my neck, as I slowly started to stroke him.

I ran my other hand over his arm and turned my head to gently nip at his neck. "Gabriel," I breathed, tightening my fingers around him. "Please..." He let out a shaky breath as he moved his hand up between my thighs and cupped it over my mound. I arched my back first, in anticipation, and then again in frustration when he didn't move his fingers further. "Please!" I said again, louder.

"What?" he asked in a strained whisper. I moaned and his thumb moved slowly, light as a feather as it brushed against the inside of my thigh. "Please what, Leah?"

"Touch me," I moaned. "Oh God. I need you to touch me." He turned his head and kissed me hard as his fingers slipped into my wet folds, and groaned in appreciation. His touch was sure and precise and warm and it didn't take long at all for me to let go of him so I could hold onto his shoulders, muffling my moans against the thick, soft fabric of his suit jacket as the first waves of pleasure washed over me. I slumped against him as they receded, and clumsily grabbed at the collar of his jacket to push it off his shoulders. He got the message and took his hands from me long enough to shrug it off.

"I want you," he breathed against my lips as my hands moved to feverishly push his pants and briefs down from his hips. "I need to have you." His pants fell to the floor with a soft clink and his hands suddenly grabbed my hips to pull me even closer to the edge of the desk. Then, in one movement, he angled himself towards my dripping entrance and slid his cock in with one powerful thrust of his hips. I screamed against the soft cloth of his shirt, shutting my eyes and hanging on tightly to him as he bottomed out. We moved as one, slowly at first, but we were both eager and needy after a week of loneliness and uncertainty. There would be time for tenderness later; right now we only needed each other. We were lost in lust and desire. 




Factors of Change Ch. 06



I wrapped my legs feverishly around his waist to pull him even deeper, and each of his strokes sent a fresh spark of pleasure through my core, bringing me closer and closer with each passing moment. I could feel his warm breath against my neck as he sped up his thrusts, and I moaned and tensed in his arms as my insides suddenly contracted yet again in pure ecstasy, blood thrumming in my veins as my heart pounded with yet another orgasm. He gasped and exploded as well, and I held him close to me as his hips jerked firmly against mine, his shoulders trembling with exertion as he leaned against the desk.

We remained still for a long moment, catching our breaths. I opened my eyes and glanced at the closed door. "Did you lock the door?" I whispered.

He laughed breathlessly against my neck. "They would not come in without knocking first."

"Hmm," I let out doubtfully. I moved a bit, hearing the crunch of paper beneath me, and grimaced in discomfort as I reached under me to push it aside. "This looks more comfortable in movies than it is in reality."

He chuckled and grinned down at me, sliding a hand up to give my bare rear yet another squeeze. "That is entirely your fault, temptress. Going around without any underwear."

I smiled back at him. "Oh, so all that was supposed to teach me a lesson?" 

"Not at all," he said, laughing. He leaned in and I tilted up my chin to kiss him, tasting his lips for a few moments before he pulled away from me. He reached down for his pants, and I slid down from his desk, smoothing my dress back down. I turned from him and hurried over to the small adjoining bathroom, and came back a few minutes later to find him entirely dressed again. He had draped his jacket over the back of his chair, and was eyeing his messy desk. "Bored, were you?" he asked when I walked over to him, gathering a few pencils up.

I smiled and snuggled close, wrapping my arms around his waist. His arm went around me as well, and I looked up at him. "Your desk was too clean. It needs to look like you're actually working," I teased. "Otherwise people are just going to think you have time for them, and will bring in more work."

"That is a lazy escape," he pointed out with a smile. He reached up with his free hand and tucked back my now undoubtedly messy hair. "Though I supposed I should start doing that, if I want to spend more time with you."

My heart warmed in my chest as I grinned up at him. "You have to work today, don't you?"

He grimaced slightly. "I can worm my way out of a few things, but..."

"It's okay," I whispered, and leaned up to drop a light kiss against the line of his jaw. "I'll just call Laurie and take her out for brunch. I'm starving, and I need to play catch up with her before she hunts me down and fills my voicemail to the brink with angry messages."

"Alright. Ask William to drive you home."

I smiled. "No, I won't. I've always taken the train."

He opened his mouth, but shut it with a slight roll of his eyes. "Alright, fine." He kissed me again and I pulled from him. "I will call you after lunch and let you know when I will be done." I nodded and turned away from him, grabbing my purse from the chair I had dropped it on, and had just reached the door when he called out to me. "Lili?" I turned around and looked at him. He was still standing behind his desk, his clothes in a relatively good order, but his hair was adorably mused by our previous activities, and he looked so damn happy that I gave myself a mental pat on the back. He narrowed his eyes at me and I dropped my hand from the door handle.

"What is it?"

"Please find some underwear," he let out, arching a blonde eyebrow at me, and I laughed.

***

Laurie was, as I expected, ecstatic to see me. We had lunch together and I told her about the run in the woods and as much as she might have expected about the night that followed. I kept to myself my little pilgrimage of the last week, using Gabriel's lie about me working on something for him to my advantage instead. I didn't think she believed me, but she was enough of a friend not to insist.

Gabriel called, as promised, just after lunch, and asked that I join him at his workplace. I had been correct to think his plan was to go to the lake, as he did every weekend, and I accepted his invitation to come with him. I met him at the end of the afternoon in front of the offices on Peel St. and climbed into his car with my small carryon to follow him home.

I was terribly curious, I have to admit. He had mentioned living in an apartment, and I was dying to see in what kind of home he lived in. I had not expected, however, that it would be only a two minute drive from downtown, straight up Mount Royal on one of the steep avenues of Westmount.

I stood and gawked up at the place where Gabriel lived for a long minute: a large, old brick house built in the 1920's, it had been enlarged a bit later in the century, he explained to me, and had then been converted into a two apartment co-ownership. He lived on the second story; the first had been converted into apartments for guests of the pack, and was usually empty.

He led me inside and gave me a quick tour of the beautiful, vast home. It creaked and groaned like an old house should and was wonderful with its original moldings running on the walls below the nine-foot high ceilings and around the large casement windows. The old varnished floors that squeaked under my feet, and the home felt like it was alive around me. I instantly fell in love with it. "When did you get this place?" I asked as I stood unbelievingly in one of the most beautiful kitchens I had ever seen. I never knew fridges could be so large and my fingers itched to check the treasures I knew I would find inside the cupboards. "And in Westmount, too? How much did it cost you, half a million?" I asked as I walked to the window to glance at the wonderful garden out back. "Wow. Change that. One million?"

"It is not mine, it belongs to the pack," he pointed out with a smile, his hands in his pockets as he followed me around. "The previous Alpha had it built and lived here as well, and so will the next, probably."

I smiled back at him. "I can't imagine anyone wanting to sell this place."

"No one would," he said with a small laugh. "Not unless they needed something bigger."

I arched an eyebrow. "Something bigger?"

He raised a shoulder in a noncommittal half-shrug. "It only has two bedrooms."

I stared at him a long moment. My heartbeat had sped up noticeably; suddenly I felt a thumping in my ears. I laughed, a bit too loudly, to forget the sudden cold sweat that had broken on my skin. "Need lessons on subtlety, do you?"

He gave me a half-smile and shook his head in dismissal. "My bedroom is through here," he said, pointing to the hallway. "I will go change and pack, if you want to follow me."

I nodded, too happy to change the subject. A soft 'mirp?' coming from the floor made me look down, though, and I gasped in delight as I noticed my little black and white cat happily trotting towards me. "Benny!" I exclaimed as I stooped to pick her up from the floor. She went limp as a ragdoll and purred in ecstasy as I hoisted her against my shoulder like I would a baby, nuzzling her soft neck. "Was she good?" I asked of Gabriel, who was watching the scene with an amused smile on his face.

"Oh, yes," he said, and reached up to rub the cat's ear. "I had a hard time sleeping the first night, but we quickly got along."

"I'm sorry," I said, smiling. "I didn't get much sleep while sleeping under the bushes either, if that's any consolation."

He chuckled. "I can imagine. Do you mind going back to the lake for the weekend?" he asked as he turned around and stepped through his bedroom door. "I know you just came back, but it will be a very nice weekend."

"I don't mind at all," I said, keeping Berenice in my arms while I followed him. I walked over to the bed and she leaped out of my arms and onto the dark grey comforter, padding over to the pillows on the left side of the bed where she immediately curled up. Gabriel pulled a bag out from a drawer and dropped it on the bed before disappearing into his bathroom. "Why do you have to pack?" I asked. "You have a full, gigantic walk-in closet back at the lake house."

"Those are mostly warm clothes, for the winter," he said. He reappeared with various toiletries and dropped them in the bag before turning to again disappear into his closet. "It is going to be warm, so I might need a few more lighter things." He came back out a minute later, dressed in loose dark jeans and a grey t-shirt, and smiled at me as he dropped a couple of pieces of clothing in the bag. I reached in to fish one t-shirt from the bag and unfolded it.

"You wear this?" I asked in a teasing tone, switching my appraising gaze from the dark t-shirt in my hands to the one he was wearing. While he usually rocked the upper-casual dress code wonderfully, I had to admit that the weekend attire hugged tightly to his shape in all the right places. That, paired with his unruly blonde hair and his usual stubble, made him look quite edible, and also quite dangerous. I bit my lower lip. "I don't think I've ever seen you in anything but dress shirts."

He laughed and reached out to grab the piece of clothing from my hands. He stuffed it back into the bag and zipped it. "All ready?"

I nodded and followed him back out of the bedroom. I took a few minutes to fill up the cat's food and was just walking back to Gabriel when his cellphone rang loudly. He froze before hastily reaching for it, frowning as he looked at the screen. "Important?" I asked, and he nodded.

"It is always important," he pointed out, before bringing the phone to his ear. I put my own bag down on the ground and took a step back to sit in the corner of the leather sectional couch, leaning back against the cushions while letting my gaze wander over to the windows, as Gabriel spoke on the phone. I hadn't been paying close attention to the conversation, so his startled exclamation took me by surprise. He said something quick in French that I vaguely interpreted as 'I'm on my way', and hung up the phone. He stared at it a few silent moments before he glanced up at me. He was a bit pale, but his eyes were bright with excitement. "Something came up," he said as I stared. I was on my feet in a second.

"Are you alright?" I asked with a frown.

He shook his head. "Fine. I just... have to be on my way."

"Should I go to the lake alone, and wait for you there?" I offered as I walked to him. The idea of driving up alone was not one that I liked, so I waved to the couch. "Or... I could just wait here for you to come back?"

He hesitated for a split second, pondering, and then shook his head. "No," he said. "Come along." He reached down for both our bags before turning to the door, waiting for me to step outside. He then turned to lock the door and I scurried to catch up and follow him down the stairs and outside to his small sports car. "What is it?" I asked breathlessly as he started the engine with a vroom that probably got all of the neighbours' attention. "What's going on?"

"They found Joey," he simply said, his eyes on the road as he accelerated out of his parking spot and down the street. I gasped and reached out to grab the door handle.

"Is he alright? Where is he?" He shook his head wordlessly, not answering. "Where are we going?" I asked again, more gently.

"The pack clinic."

I frowned. The pack clinic was located on the second story of a large business building a little ways past the actual downtown. There were a few smaller pack clinics scattered across the island, but I thought he was referring to the official downtown establishment, which was the largest of all and more suitably equipped for emergencies. Obviously, Weres couldn't go to human hospitals to be treated, but I did wonder why Joseph, who was human, hadn't been taken to his own doctors. How badly is he hurt? I wondered. What kind of wounds does he have, that the pack would rather keep him away from a curious human doctor's eyes? From the frown deepening on Gabriel's face, I thought he was probably asking himself the same questions, and worrying about the possible answers.

We busted several speed limits and I kept my foot down on my own imaginary brake pedal for most of the way, but we reached the hospital in one piece. We went up the stairs and I hurried to catch up with Gabriel's long strides as he quickly made his way down the white corridor, ignoring everyone around him. In a small waiting room, standing alone by a row of windows, a woman in her late fifties turned around to look at us. She was human, I identified immediately, and she gasped and hurried over to Gabriel when she saw him. "They won't let me in!" she said quickly. She had been crying; her pretty blue eyes were all red and puffy, and her cheeks were streaked with dried tears. "They've kept me away from him since they came to my house!"

He frowned at her. "Why would they do that?"

"Please, Gabriel," she pleaded. "I need to see him." She sounded determined, though, and even a little angry. I couldn't say I blamed her and pushed down a growing sense of dread as I turned to look up to Gabriel.

He nodded. "Let me go see what is going on, first." He quickly turned towards the door; I followed him in, shutting the door behind me, and turned only to walk smack into Gabriel's back. He had stopped in his tracks the second he stepped in, and I looked around him at the hospital bed on the other side of the room.

A man laid in it, his eyes closed, his chest slowly rising and falling. He had a thick shock of dark brown hair streaked with gray and even in sleep, his expression was pained, the lines in his face taunt with tension. I noticed all of that, but only saw the angry red gouges on the side of his neck. Claw marks, obviously, and already half healed. White gauze had been pressed in a thick pad against a wound on his shoulder, though I could see no blood seeping through it. Along with the spreading bruise and swelling on the right side of his face and the audible hiss in his deep breathing that could indicate any sort of damage done to his chest, I thought it was a small mercy, after all, that he was at least unconscious and wouldn't feel the pain his body was obviously going through.

I could smell only the scent of Weres in the room with us and looked over at them. I recognized Cedric and acknowledged another one of the Six, who had quickly been introduced to me as Elise earlier in the afternoon. I had no idea who the other three were, but one of them wore the distinctive green scrubs of a doctor and had an ominously concerned frown on his face as he noticed his Alpha coming in.

Gabriel strode over to the bed. I watched him from behind, noticing how tense he looked, how stiffly he moved as he leaned against the metal rail of the bed to bend closer to his friend's face. That's not how it should be, I thought sadly. That's not how I should meet his oldest friend for the first time.

I watched Gabriel reach in and gently pull the white gauze away from Joseph's shoulder. He quickly dropped it and took a stumbling step back from the bed, his hands balling into tight fists at his sides. It was only then that what had been nagging at me since I walked in the room finally clicked in my mind. 

I could smell only the scent of Weres with us in the room; not a hint of the distinctive, sharp scent of humans. Not even in the bed, where one should have been laying; Joseph's chest was rising and falling reassuringly with each deep breath, but the only smell that came from him was one I would have recognized instantly if I had really paid attention. It was a strangely familiar scent, one that I had tried hard to forget.

The sharp, acrid smell of fear and confusion; the lingering odour of raging hormones and silent anger. The scent of a newly turned Were. 

***

Next to me as we sat just outside of Joseph's room, Gabriel was sitting in one of the plastic chairs in the corridor, still as a statue. His elbows were resting on his knees and his chin was propped on his joined hands; he was staring so hard at the floor under his feet that I fully expected it to burst into flames. He was deceptively silent, with his features moulded into the perfectly blank face of a poker champion, but was humming with white hot fury like a high voltage transformer, his anger rolling off from him in spades and obvious to anyone. All of those standing in the hallway with us bore the uneasy expression of someone who had to stand in a closed room with a ticking time bomb.

I somewhat shared their feeling and moved slowly and carefully, yet purposely inching closer on my chair so that my thigh brushed against Gabriel's. I laid a light, reassuring hand on his thigh, and he instantly reached down and grabbed it, his fingers wrapping around mine in a painfully tight grip. I bit my lip, but didn't pull away. He took one long, deep breath before slowly letting it out between his teeth. It would have been exaggerating to say he relaxed, but some of the tension seemed to leave his shoulders, and his grip loosened slightly around my hand. "Who found him?" he asked in a surprisingly calm tone of voice to the small group of Weres surrounding us. The human woman whom I guessed to be Joseph's wife wasn't there, I noticed; I wondered who had taken her away.

Elise nervously cleared her throat and took a step forward. "His mate—I mean his wife, Alpha Sir. She called your office immediately, like you asked her to do. She says she knew she should not call the human police, not the way he was... hurt."

Gabriel looked up at her. "Where did she find him?"

The young Beta pursed her lips. "On their doorstep, Sir. She says someone rang the doorbell and when she opened the door, she found Mackenzie there, lying unconscious on their porch."

"It is a message, obviously," Cedric hissed. I looked up at him; he was standing close to me. He was nowhere as good as Gabriel at hiding his thoughts or emotions, and his anger was written all over his stern features, clear as day. "It is clearly you dey are trying to 'urt."

"Thank you for the obvious, Cedric. But it is not me who got hurt now, is it?" Gabriel snapped back, glaring at him. Cedric didn't flinch, but didn't try to hold his gaze either, turning to look at the closed door beside us instead. 

"Dey are going to keep 'urting you, Gabriel," he said in a lower tone. "Mackenzie knew about Weres. And 'e never, ever wanted to become one of us."

Gabriel stared directly at him for a moment before he switched his flat look to the doctor, who straightened up noticeably. "How is he?"

"Well enough, all things considered," the middle-aged Were said quickly. "Multiple... multiple bruises and lacerations, many signs of struggle. But nothing life-threatening."

"Nothing life-threatening," Gabriel repeated slowly. An uncomfortable silence settled over all of us. The bite on Joseph's shoulder, while not a fatal wound in itself, could have disastrous consequences on his life, and we all knew it. "What about the bite?" Gabriel asked. Apparently he was on the same train of thoughts.

The doctor sighed deeply. "It hasn't healed much, so it can't be more than a day or two old. He obviously hasn't shifted for the first time yet, and won't for a few more days, hopefully."

"Has he awakened at all?"

"Not yet, Sir."

Gabriel sighed and leaned back in the chair, rubbing both hands over his face before he ran his fingers through his blonde hair, mussing it up even more. "Does he even know what he is?"

"He fought against de fucking cowards," Cedric said somberly, still staring at the closed door of Joseph's room. "I am sure 'e felt de bite. He knows. His wife probably does, too."




Factors of Change Ch. 06



Gabriel pursed his lips, nodding and staring silently into space. I watched him carefully: his prior anger had faded for now, but it had been replaced with a blatant concern that worried me. His fingers had gone limp and cold between mine; I gave them what I hoped was a reassuring squeeze. They tightened convulsively around mine for a moment, before he let go and suddenly got up to walk over to the closed door. There was a large wire cast glass window next to it and he stood there watching his sleeping friend, his hands in his pockets and a somber expression on his face.

"Elise," he said, and the young beta looked up. "Where is Marie?"

"I took her home," Elise answered. "So she could shower and have a bite to eat. I'm supposed to pick her up in about an hour."

He nodded. "Arrange for her to have a room here, so she will not have to drive across town all the time." He glanced back to watch the young woman nod and turn to leave, and turned his head towards the others. "Please leave us," he said softly, but firmly, and they all exited the room, leaving me alone with him. He watched them go and turned back towards the window.

I sighed softly as I walked over to him. "Gabriel, it will be alright," I whispered. "He isn't alone. I made it on my own, with my friends and my family not even knowing about it. Joseph has you and the pack to help him through all of this." 

"But were you married?" he asked in a low voice, not taking his eyes from the window. "Did you have children? Dozens of years of happiness behind you, and many more to come? What about Marie, Leah? They are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary at the end of the year." He shook his head. "And what of his children? And his grandchildren? He has a third one on the way... Oh, God," he ended in a whisper, and lowered his head. "Leah... I could not find a better example of the worst possible candidate to becoming a Were."

I stared at him silently. I had no idea what to say to make things better, and it tore me apart. He was right, after all. "Does his wife know about Weres?" I asked him softly.

"Marie?" He nodded. "She knows as much as he does. His children have probably heard my name, but nothing more."

"What about the law, Gabriel?" I asked carefully. "It's forbidden to tell humans about Weres."

He sighed and nodded, turning around to lean back against the window. "I have already told you he was there when I was turned." He paused, and glanced down at me. "I have not told you about that, have I?"

"No." I shook my head and dismissed the matter with a wave of my hand. "Later. What about Marie? Why does she know?"

He snorted. "They were already married at the time, and both knew me well." He shrugged. "I could not keep him from telling her. He never kept anything from her."

"And no one knows that they know?"

He shook his head. "No one but my six betas. And no other human knows about us either, as far as I am aware. But of course, I might be wrong. No one would dare come to tell me about it." He gave me a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Everyone has their secrets, after all."

I smiled back at him, trying to put as much confidence into it as I could. I moved against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist in a small attempt to comfort him. I shut my eyes and laid my head down on as his arms came around my shoulders. "Gabriel," I whispered. "What are you going to do?"

He sighed deeply, silent for a long moment. "First, find a way to tell Marie," he said softly. He didn't sound thrilled at the idea, and I can't say I blamed him. "And then... Then, it will depend on what happens when Joseph shifts for the first time. In the best scenario, his wolf will recognize me as his Alpha."

"And if he doesn't?" I let out warily, glancing up at him. Only a rogue would not recognize an Alpha's authority, and the pack would not let a rogue live on their lands, of that I was certain.

He sighed. "Then I need to find another way to save him. But I will save him, Leah. I have to."



Factors of Change Ch. 07



Well. Life caught up with me. I'm very sorry for taking so long in updating, but as an apology for this slightly belated Christmas gift, I made this chapter the longest I have written to date (but don't get used to it). There are also a few things in there that were a long time coming; I hope you'll appreciate!

Thank you for your feedback and your votes. Thank you, also, for not requesting that I update ASAP and for being so understanding in your various comments. You are the reason I work hard on this. And finally, thank you Doctime, for generously giving up Holiday time to edit this chapter and help me make it better.

Enjoy!

Chapter 7

We spent the entire day at the hospital. As the late afternoon turned into evening, I watched through the window while the sky slowly faded to dark. Gabriel did try at one point to have me driven back home, but I refused to go. No matter where I would be, I would be waiting. I would much rather wait with him and the others than all by myself, not knowing what was going on.

At some point, someone brought Marie back to wait with us. She introduced herself to me and I invited her to sit on the plastic chair next to mine while we did some small talk. I could tell by the way she kept looking at the closed door that all she wanted to do was to go to her husband's side, in the room next to us. She didn't ask for anyone to let her in, though; a sure sign that she had already been told what had happened. We lapsed into silence a short while after our polite introductions, and her thoughtful gaze went once again to the closed door of Joseph's room. "So how does it work?" she asked softly so that only I would hear. There weren't many of us in the hallway; the doctor was gone for now and a young Were nurse came to check on the patient now and again, quickly crossing the hallway in front of us, but besides her, there was only also Gabriel, standing about twenty feet away, and Cedric, who had stayed as well. They had been chatting quietly in French for the better part of the past hour. I wondered what they were talking about. "Your mating thing?" Marie continued. "I thought Weres who were once human couldn't be mated; I remember Gabriel told us that once day."

"Ah," I let out hesitantly. "We aren't mated, actually."

She arched an eyebrow at me. "But you are together."

"Yes, but we aren't... we haven't tried to..." I could feel a dark blush creep up my neck, and felt like a parent explaining the bees and the flowers to a child. "Mates need to mark each other. With a mating bite."

Her mouth opened slightly in surprise, but she quickly closed it, and frowned. "But... Joey was bitten."

"Yes, but that's not the same thing." I tucked back a curl behind my ear. "That made him turn into a Were, but it hasn't mated him to anyone. You can't bite whoever you want and mate with someone unless they're your real mate. It just won't work. I was bitten too, and so was Gabriel, but not by our mates."

"Oh." She looked back towards Gabriel. "You said you hadn't tried biting each other... is it because you don't think he's your real mate?" she asked, and looked back at me, a worried look in her pretty eyes. "Is it because there's a chance it might not work?"

A cold fist wrapped itself around my heart at her words, squeezing tightly. Turned Weres had never mated, but it had never occurred to me that it might be because the mating bond simply never established itself between couples. Had Turned Weres found each other before, but could never truly mate? That was a terrifying thought. How disappointing it would be! "No," I said softly, and glanced back towards Gabriel. No, I thought. It will work. I did feel the incredible pull. I could smell his real scent, see him in a way no one else could. I was convinced he was my mate, and felt positive that he did as well. Surely it would work. "That's not why. I... well I had never thought of it that way."

"Oh I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes widening. "I didn't mean to worry you. He just seems so taken with you." I looked back at her, and she gave me a soft smile. "It's nice to finally see him like this."

I smiled back. "Is that why you're asking me these questions? You shouldn't worry about him."

"I'm worried about Joseph," she said, and bit her lower lip. "Now that he's a Were, does that mean that I have to... well... to be like him, for us to be together?"

"Oh, Marie," I said softly. "No. He's different physically, but it won't change how he feels about you." I hope you're not lying to her, my wolf said sadly. I bit hard on my lower lip, but before I could continue, a loud crash from the inside of Joey's room made us all jump. Gabriel and Cedric instantly ran over to the door, and I followed behind Marie as she scrambled to her feet and hurried over to look through the wire cast window. She gasped and took a step back, slamming into my chest; my hands went up in reflex to steady her and I looked through the window over her shoulder, knowing very well what I would see.

A very large black wolf lay on the ground next to the overturned bed. It looked more confused than menacing, its amber eyes darting to and fro as it took in its strange surroundings, but it snarled instantly when it looked up into the window and saw us, displaying an impressive row of sharp white teeth. Turned or not, Joey was an impressive Were. "Oh my goodness," Marie whispered, turning around in my arms to hide her face in my neck. "Oh my God, no."

"Don't!" warned Cedric's voice right behind me. I turned my head around and saw Gabriel, as he was reaching for the door handle. He stopped and glared at Cedric.

"What?"

Cedric clenched his jaw and pointed at the window. "Gabriel, il est paniqué, il ne t'écoutera pas. N'entre pas là-dedans," he said. I couldn't understand most of it, but the warning in his tone was obvious. I wondered if it was worry that made him revert back to French, or if he simply wanted to spare making Marie more upset than she clearly already was. Or maybe he simply doesn't give a damn about Marie and you right now, my wolf added helpfully, stating the obvious. I had to agree with Cedric, though; going in the room with a possibly rogue wolf seemed like a bad idea. "Give 'im time."

Gabriel stared firmly at him, hesitating only a split second. There was a vicious snarl and a loud thump that shook the door, though, and he tightened his jaw. "He will listen," he said stubbornly, and nodded towards the two of us before he turned the door handle and yanked it open. Cedric didn't say another word and moved closer to me with a huff, pulling me back along with Marie so that we stood behind him.

The black wolf had jumped back when the door opened and had backed up a bit, and now stood next to the overturned bed. It had set angry, burning amber eyes on Gabriel and crouched low to the ground, its chest rumbling with a loud warning growl. It didn't pounce instantly, though, and while Cedric's hand tightened convulsively on my upper arm as Gabriel took a cautious step closer to the wolf, I expected him to do much more than that if he thought there might be a real threat to Gabriel. He's the Alpha, my wolf reminded me. Of course he'll be fine.

"Joey." Gabriel's voice was low and soothing. The thick, acrid scent of fear was heavy in the air, though, and the wolf only reacted by growling louder. "Shift back," Gabriel told him in a quiet tone. It held no hint of command, though—perhaps he was simply testing the grounds.

The wolf didn't shift back. It only lowered itself to the ground a bit more and snarled as it coiled its body in preparation to pounce. It probably happened in a split second, but it felt to me like everything was in slow motion as the wolf jumped at Gabriel—and the open door.

Gabriel reacted instantly, moving swiftly to the side and backward in a graceful manoeuver to place himself between the wolf and us, as it landed in the hallway with a scratch of claws on the tiled floor, slipping and snarling as it tried to jump again. "Stop it!" Gabriel barked at him, and this time the sound of his voice rang all the way through to my bones. I froze, even though the command wasn't even directed at me, and so did Cedric, who had been prepared to lunge forward to help.

And, surprisingly enough, so did the wolf. It stood on shaking paws, its chest heaving, but it froze, staring at Gabriel with a look that was a mix of anger, confusion, and yet, anticipation. It was listening. I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Now," Gabriel said, his tone still laced with command, "shift back."

There were several long seconds where nothing happened, but a deep shudder suddenly went through the wolf's spine, and it curled up with a whine as its body slowly went through the painful business of shifting back for the first time. I turned and quickly ran into the room to grab one of the blankets that had been on the floor, and returned to Joseph's curled up human form just as Gabriel kneeled next to him. I gently draped the blue blanket over his naked body, and he shuddered deeply before he slowly lifted his head and straightened up. He looked up at me, blinking beautiful brandy coloured eyes at me for a moment before he shifted his glance to his wife, who was still standing next to Cedric a few feet away. "Marie?" he let out uncertainly, and she gave a soft gasp before stepping forward, dropping to her knees in front of him, and collapsing into broken sobs as she fell into her husband's arms.

***

I wasn't sure what to do. In the short time I had known Gabriel, I had always seen him relaxed, confident, and smiling. This new situation introduced me to another side of him that I hadn't seen before. He was now not just a potential mate or a friend. He was the Alpha, and a torn one at that.

A rogue would have to be put down. There was no record anywhere in Were history of a rogue having been saved and brought back into a pack. It wasn't clear, at least to me, what actually happened in a Were's mind when they went rogue, but in the light of William's explanation of his brain theory, I could only suppose that the mind simply started listening exclusively to the wolf's instinct, and no longer to the human conscience.

It was a dreading thought, when you stopped to consider it. What did happen then to the human conscience? Was it truly gone? Had it really disappeared, leaving nothing behind but a scared, confused, dangerously and mentally wounded beast? Or was it still there, held captive in the darkness of the mind by the animal instinct, unable to speak, but able to witness the horror of the situation, and yet helpless to stop any of it? In the first scenario, killing the rogue was a necessary evil. In the latter... it seemed to me more like mercy.

Joseph hadn't gone rogue, not yet. His wolf's reaction to Gabriel's command had been positive and I had good hopes that it would end up well. But I was still very worried. Joseph had a lot more to lose from becoming a werewolf than I had when I was attacked. Also, while my turning had been an accident due to me being at the wrong place at the wrong time, Joseph's turning was a calculated move, meant to send Gabriel a clear message that no one was safe. It was done to hit him directly.

And I could tell he blamed himself for it.

After getting Joseph settled safely for the night with a watch of his own and giving strict orders to send for him if his friend involuntarily shifted again, Gabriel had wordlessly taken my hand and led me down to his car. We were back at his home now, and it was very late. I'd taken the initiative of opening a bottle of red wine from the small wine cellar in the kitchen, and joined Gabriel in the living room where he now pensively sat on the couch. He hadn't turned on the lights, so I left the lights on in the kitchen behind me as I made my way towards him and sat down next to him. He automatically took the glass as I handed it out to him and absentmindedly twirled the wine around in his glass a few times before taking a healthy mouthful of it. He was silent and somber, and I had run out of things to say to try and make things better. Truth be told, I wasn't at all sure that I could make things better.

"I told Cedric to go ahead to the lake and join the pack," he said in a barely audible voice. "I cannot always make it there, so they probably will not suspect anything wrong."

"Alright... but what will you do, Gabriel?" I asked him softly. "Where will you take him? He can't stay at the hospital."

"I don't know, Leah. I don't." He shook his head and set his glass down on the table before resting his elbows on his knees. "Leah, when you were turned...What kept you from..." He stopped and pressed his lips together tightly for a long moment. I silently stared at him, waiting for him to finish. "I am sorry to ask, Lili. But I need to understand. I need to know what I can do to help him."

"I had my family," I said without hesitation. "They knew nothing about what I was going through, of course, but... They were there for me. My father, my brother... I kept doing my job, seeing my friends. They all kept me human. It was easier, then, to try and find a way to figure out my wolf on my own." He turned his head to look at me and I set my glass down, scooted closer and reached for one of his hands, lacing our fingers together. "He's going to be scared of losing his family, Gab, or of not being able to be with them. Don't let him think that. It won't matter how much power you have on his wolf now, nothing will keep him from turning rogue if he's allowed to think that he's lost everything he cared for the most."

He nodded and looked down at our linked hands. "I will talk to him." He squeezed my fingers gently, giving me a sideways glance. "I had no idea you had a brother."

"Yeah." I looked down as well, and a sudden urge to change the subject bubbled up in my chest. I choked it back, tightening my fingers around Gabriel's for comfort. We would never get anywhere together, I thought, if we knew nothing about each other. "Andrew," I said softly. "He's younger, but only by a year. I don't know where he is now." I swallowed. "Where he is in his life, I mean. He's probably in Philly, with my dad." Gabriel tugged on my arm to draw me closer, and I let him pull me over to curl up on his lap. I closed my eyes and snuggled up against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, and sighed softly. "Thank you," I whispered. "I haven't seen them in so long. I thought you were supposed to forget someone's face after 20 years, but I remember them as if I'd left yesterday."

"Werewolves have a good memory," he said, smiling against my hair.

"Do our brain cells regenerate as well?" I asked him as I tucked my face in his neck. "Like everything else?"

He let out a breathless chuckle. "I suppose so." He said no more and I shut my eyes, moving a bit in his arms to find a cozier position. We settled into a comfortable silence and I could feel him finally relax a bit beneath me, his arm around my shoulders growing heavier, his breathing gradually slowing. I let my guard down then, letting a sleepless night and an emotional day take their toll on me as sleep slowly took us both.

***

I slept like the dead, and woke up confused in a soft, warm bed, wrapped up to my ears with heavy blankets. The light was dim around me, but enough drifted through the cracks between the heavy curtains to lead me to think the night had already turned to morning. The window had been left open and let in a soft breeze that stirred the curtains, and I could hear the patter of soft rain outside against the young leaves in the trees, and the swish of the tires of a passing car on the wet street below.

I could also hear the deep breath of the man sleeping next to me, his body giving off heat like a furnace under the thick blankets. I turned on my side to look up at Gabriel; he slept on his back, one arm thrown over his eyes, the other laying over the blankets at his side. He was shirtless, I noticed, and only then paid attention to the fact I had been stripped down to my t-shirt and panties. I must have been sleeping deeply, I thought with some embarrassment, for him to be able to carry me all the way to his bedroom and strip me of most of my clothes, without me even waking up. I scooted closer to him to snuggle up to his side, and laid my head down on his chest. He stirred slightly as I snaked an arm over his stomach to wrap around him, and his arm slipped from over his eyes to automatically wrap around my shoulders. He didn't wake up, though, and relaxed again with a deep sigh once we were settled, relapsing into a light sleep.

His chest rose and fell under my cheek as I listened to the slow, steady beating of his heart. Two weeks. I had known him only two weeks, one of which I had just spent away from him. Although for werewolf standards it was more than enough, and even though I had managed to accept what I was and what we were for each other, my human mind kept struggling with the fact that I was a hair away from making a life changing decision.

Where would you be now? the soft voice of my wolf echoed in my mind. If you hadn't met him on that fateful day... where would you be, this morning?

It was a good question, and I didn't answer right away. If I was going to be honest with myself, the past two weeks suddenly felt like a lot more than that, and it seemed to me like it had been months, not days, since I had met Gabriel. I supposed the incredible emotional cocktail of confusion, desire, excitement, lust and, more recently, fear I had been going through had something to do with that.

His hand suddenly tightened around the curve of my shoulder, breaking through my thoughts. "Stop squirming," he said in a hoarse whisper.

I chuckled softly, tilting up my face to look at him. "Sorry. I was caught up in my thoughts."

He snorted softly and yawned widely, stretching out both arms above his head before resuming our position with a sigh and turning his head to nuzzle my hair. "Mmm," he replied sleepily. "What were you thinking about?"

"About you," I said softly. "What would've happened, if I hadn't met you."

He didn't reply right away, but I felt his body tighten into awareness against mine. His voice, too, had lost any last remnants of sleepiness when he spoke again. "And what would have happened?"

"Nothing." I moved my hand to his chest and kept my eyes on it as I let the tip of my fingers delicately trace through the fine, soft blond hairs that dusted his skin. "As opposed to everything that's actually happened in the past two weeks," I whispered, "nothing would have happened. At all."

I felt him turn his head to glance down at me, but I didn't dare look up. His hand moved from my shoulder to my hair and he gently smoothed my dark, curly mane back from my face. "What does that even mean, Lili?"

I hesitated, struggling for words, but he was patient, as always. I let the silence stretch a few heartbeats longer, before I pushed myself up on my left elbow and looked down at him, my hair spilling down over my shoulder. Gabriel was looking up at me, waiting for me to speak. His hazel eyes were bright and clear, but his face looked taunt and tired, and I reached up with my free hand to gently trace his jaw. "It means that I would have gone to work, every day, as I always had before," I answered softly. "I would probably be at the compound right now, pestering against the rain on my tent, remembering how much I hate driving in that kind of weather, thinking about how the weather channel lied when they said it would be a nice weekend. I wouldn't know anything about what happened to Joey, because I wouldn't know anything about him at all. I wouldn't be thinking or worrying about those so-called rogues wanting to hurt you. It wouldn't scare me like it does now," I ended, swallowing hard, "because I wouldn't have any reason to worry about it." Gabriel's eyebrows drew down into a frown.




Factors of Change Ch. 07



"You should not be scared of anything," he hissed out in a breath. I stopped him, though, by laying my fingers against his lips.

"It is scary, Gab. No matter how much you want me safe, there's always a risk. You wanted Joey to be safe, but you couldn't have done anything to stop what happened to him." I shook my head. "These rogues... They're the bad guys. Real bad guys. They hurt someone you love. They could hurt me, or your other friends. They could hurt you. And my life would probably be much simpler if I didn't have anything to do with them." I let my fingers slip from his lips, but he didn't say anything else, waiting for me to continue instead. "They are scary. But do you know what's scarier than having to deal with them, Gabriel?"

He had an answer to that; I saw it flash in his eyes, but he didn't say anything. "Non," he simply whispered with a slight shake of his head.

"This other life that I had," I breathed, and swallowed the lump growing in my throat. "Going from one city to another, never knowing where I'm going, never feeling like I belong. Not knowing if anywhere in the world will ever feel like... like ho—home again." My voice broke on the last few words and Gabriel instantly let out a brief sound of sympathy, his hand moving up to cup my cheek. I shook my head as he tried to pull me closer, though, and fought down the lump that threatened to choke me. I had to get it out now. "Your life is so much more complicated than what I'm used to, baby. And I'm terrified that I might not have what it takes to be who you will need me to be. But... but in this life, as complicated and scary as it is, there is you. In this life, I have you," I repeated, whispering urgently, rushing to say everything all at once, unable to stop the flow of words that poured out. "And going back to that safe and simple other life, without ever seeing you again, is a much, much scarier thought than anything else that might happen if I'm with you. I don't know, Gab, I don't know if it's because I can't be without you, but I do know that I don't want to be without you. Ever. And that's all I need to know."

"Lili," he tried to say, his hand tightening against my cheek. I didn't stop, though, warm tears suddenly prickling under my eyelids as I continued.

"Do you hear me?" I insisted, my voice breaking. "You're all I need, Gabriel."

"I heard," he breathed, and pulled me down to him more forcefully this time, tilting his chin up to kiss me soundly. I moaned softly against his lips and shut my eyes as I kissed him back, laying both hands on his chest as he pulled me down on top of him. My head was spinning as we kissed desperately, and it felt like his hands were everywhere all at once—in my hair, all over my back and ass and hips. Before I knew it, they had slid under my cotton t-shirt; he broke the kiss to pull it over my head and toss it away, before he unsnapped my bra and pulled it down my arms. I gasped against his lips as my breasts were pressed against his warm chest. The rest of our underwear found its way to the floor as well and he sat up, making me straddle his lap, one hand on the small of my back as the other crept up between my thighs to find my wet, warm folds.

"Oh!" I gasped, breaking the kiss, and he turned his head to kiss his way down my jaw and neck. I moved my hands from his shoulders to hold his cheeks, pulling him back so I could look at him. "Gabriel," I whispered.

"Quoi?" he said breathlessly. His eyes opened, dark with desire, to stare into mine. He was tensed and more than ready, with his hard cock pressed against my stomach. I lowered one of my hands to wrap my fingers around it, and he shut his eyes again with a sharp hiss as I started to slowly stroke it.

"Gab," I let out again, gently kissing his lips. He groaned in pleasure, but looked down at me again. I arched my back and lifted my hips, aiming him at my wet entrance. "I love you," I said in a soft whisper as I lowered myself onto him. "Oh my God," I moaned. "I love you so much."

His hands went to my hips, and he opened his mouth to reply, but I leaned in and crushed my lips to his instead. I felt overwhelmed and vulnerable, but I also felt a raging urgency to feel him move inside of me, a burning desire that burst in my loins and spread all over my body, speeding up my heart enough to make it thump in my ears. I started to move as we kissed, his strong hands guiding my hips against his in a deliciously teasing rhythm.

Pleasure was building up quickly inside of me. Pent up as I was with emotion and my own surprise at my revelations, I knew it wouldn't take long for me to reach the orgasm that I craved. Most of all, I knew what I wanted to do when it happened. "Oh, yes," I hissed when I felt the first flutters of my oncoming orgasm, bucking my hips against his. "Gabriel... I... I want..."

"Je t'aime aussi," he breathed against my lips. One of his hands fisted itself in my hair to pull me back from him, just enough to make me look into his eyes. "I love you," he whispered, just as the first crashing waves of my release washed down over me. I cried out and grabbed onto his shoulders, tucking my face in his neck as the instinctual shifting of my canines burned my gums. His fingers tightened in my hair and he turned his head, sensing my hesitation. "Do it, now," he whispered urgently in my ear as I dug my nails into his skin. "Leah, do it!"

So I did.

I let my teeth shift and before I could change my mind, I bit down hard on the warm, soft flesh of his shoulder. He cried out as blood suddenly filled my mouth, and I was instantly lost in a blinding world of sensation, a mix of scorching warmth and intense pleasure that made me lose my grip on reality for a second. I came to myself as Gabriel suddenly flipped me onto my back, and cried out as he sheathed himself totally inside of me in one hard thrust. I could still taste his blood in my mouth as he leaned in to kiss me hard, while he relentlessly pounded into me, claiming me over and over.

He let out a pained groan against my lips as he reached the point of no return. He broke the kiss as his hand in my hair suddenly pulled my head to the side, and I shut my eyes as he leaned in and bit down hard on my shoulder.

It hurt. I gasped and cried out as his teeth tore my skin, and he let out a muffled groan against my neck as it sent him off the edge and into his own release, his cock pulsing inside of me. After a long moment, he collapsed on top of me and his mouth left my neck, dropping light kisses on the abused skin as he caught his breath. I let out a strangled gasp and kept my eyes shut, holding tightly onto his shoulders. The bite on my neck throbbed and hurt like a second degree burn. I felt strangely distant to the pain, though, and disembodied. I was vaguely aware of Gabriel silently tucking his head in my neck and cradling me against his chest as he rolled off of me to his side. I felt a growing, sickening sense of vertigo, and the throbbing pain on my shoulder, but nothing else, nothing I could call a bond. My throat tightened in fear as I remembered Marie's words from the night before; could it be that it couldn't work for us? Was that the reason why Turned Weres never mated?

I opened my mouth to speak out, to ask him how he felt, when I felt suddenly overwhelmed, bursting with... something.

Lights exploded behind my closed eyelids in a show of fireworks that made my head feel like it was swelling to twice its size. The burning feeling in my neck seemed to seep into my bloodstream to spread across my body like rivers of scorching fire, warming my chest and making my arms and legs tingle painfully with pins and needles.

The warmth seeped into my mind like a gentle caress, and I felt it wrap around my heart as well, like fire lighting in my chest. Blood thrummed in my veins and roared in my ears, deafening me. I felt paralyzed through the whole ordeal, all exterior sensations gone. It couldn't have lasted more than thirty seconds, but it left me drained and sweaty as if recovering from a fever, and I gasped when I was finally able to open my eyes and draw in a deep, gasping breath, like a drowned man emerging from the water.

I realized that Gabriel had me pressed tightly against his chest, his arms like iron bands around me. He had his face against my hair and his shoulders trembled under my grip. I didn't dare open my eyes as we laid in silence and shock. My mind was a mess of emotions: confusion, excitement and relief flooded it alternately, along with an alien sense of... company.

Gabriel shivered against me and I suddenly realized why I felt as confused as I did: those emotions weren't all mine. Some were his—he was there. It was such a new sensation, after thirty years of being alone--and lonely--that an overwhelming sense of utter completeness suddenly filled me. My chest and throat contracted without warning, and tears welled up unexpectedly into my eyes.

"Oh Gab," I whispered against the skin of his chest. I snaked my arms down and around his waist, blinking away the tears, but they simply escaped anyway to roll down my cheeks and smear against his skin. I sniffed and hugged him tight. "I love you," I breathed against his skin, and sniffed again, slowly losing whatever thin grip I had on my emotions. "I love you so much." A warm wave of tenderness washed over me as he reached up to tilt my chin up. He leaned in to kiss me softly and I let out a shaky breath, completely overwhelmed with sensations. "This is intense," I whispered against his lips. "I wasn't expecting it to feel this way."

He shook his head. "Me neither," he breathed. He smoothed back my hair, and suddenly his lips turned up. "It worked," he said in a soft, amazed tone. "My mate. Ma Lili. I never thought this could happen to me."

I reached up to touch his face, slowly tracing his lower lip with my thumb. "What are the others going to say?" I asked, smiling back.

He chuckled deeply and leaned in to nuzzle my neck. "Wait and see. It should not be long now."

I arched an eyebrow to the ceiling. "Now? What do you mean now?" I pulled his head back to look at him. "They already know?"

He shook his head. "That is not how it works," he started, and then suddenly pushed himself back from me to kneel on the mattress. "Come on, sit up," he told me, holding out his hand to help. "You will see it better."

"See what?" I asked, growing confused. Curious, I took his hand and sat up, folding my legs under me. I couldn't see any sort of concern on his face, though, and felt nothing but a happy mess of excitement and anticipation in our newborn, confused mate bond. We would have to practice reading our bond, I realized; I figured I should have been able to read him better than that. It helped, though, that I could see his face; while he could hide his thoughts and emotions from others behind a perfectly blank face if he wanted, he wasn't doing it now with me, staring so intently at my face instead with such eagerness that I wondered if I was supposed to say or do something. "You look so cute," I said with a smile, reaching up to tuck back a lock of pale hair that had, as usual, fallen in front of his eyes. "Are we waiting for something in particular?"

He nodded. "Close your eyes," he simply said. I hesitated but shut my eyes with a smile, giving up on asking him. I felt his hands reaching for mine and I squeezed his fingers gently, obediently waiting.

The silence stretched out, and I started feeling a bit silly. Was this some sort of joke? "Gabriel, what am I... oh!" I finished my sentence with a gasp; it felt like the whole world around me had just been sucked away. The darkness hadn't changed, but I suddenly felt like I was tottering on the edge of a cliff, or floating in emptiness somehow. Ever closed your eyes when you were terribly drunk? It was that kind of vertigo. I gasped and fluttered my eyes open to escape it, but Gabriel gently laid his hand over them, his other hand squeezing my fingers tightly.

"It only lasts a moment," he said softly. "Let them come to you."

"Let who?" I asked. "Gab, what are you doing..."

He shushed me gently and scooted closer, the mattress sinking under his weight as he moved to sit at my side. He removed his hand from my face, but I kept my eyes closed as he asked, trying to get used to the feeling of vertigo and figure out what was going on.

Suddenly, a tiny light popped in the dark, at the right of my field of view where Gabriel would be if I opened my eyes. Flickering like a candle flame, it shone like a small, distant star, but I welcomed its light with relief, instantly feeling better. Then more stars appeared, one after the other, until dozens of them surrounded me. I gasped softly at the beauty of it, marvelling at their different colours. Some were closer to me, some far away; they were dim or burning bright, but all were alight with a life of their own, and the emptiness and vertigo were gone and replaced with a wonderful feeling of tender warmth. I couldn't move as I focused on them, marveling at the beauty of what seemed like a starlit sky in my mind, extending itself all around me. Some of them were moving slowly, and I quickly realized what they were. "It's the pack," I whispered to myself. I didn't want to open my eyes but did anyway, and even though they disappeared to become Gabriel's bedroom again, I could still feel them around me, like a rushing current of life and love surrounding me. I looked up at Gabriel to find him smiling at me. "It's all of them," I breathed to him, amazed. "You can see them all like this?"

He nodded. "As long as they stay in a certain radius," he explained quietly. "And you are my mate now, Leah, and their new Alpha female; you can see them too."

"Can they see me?" I asked. Thinking of my new role in the pack as Gabriel's mate gave me the jitters, and I closed my eyes again to see the stars once more, carefully avoiding the subject for now. "Can anyone else see this?"

"Only the Alpha couple can see so much," his voice replied. "My betas can see them, to a much smaller extent. They can feel Weres around them from about a mile and can tell if they are a part of the pack or not. The Alpha bond stretches all the way to the lake compound, even a bit further," he ended, a bit of pride in his voice. I smiled at the sound of it, and opened my eyes again to look at him.

"They can't feel us, can they?" I asked. "I can't remember ever feeling anything in particular in relation to any Alpha."

"It is unconscious," he said with a nod. He turned and pushed himself up from the bed to reach for the pair of jeans he had left on the armchair, and shoved his feet into them, still speaking. "The members of the pack will feel shifts in the Alpha bond if another Were gains the Alpha status, or if they move out of the reach of the bond. You will feel it if they do, too," he added more seriously, glancing sideways at me as he straightened up. "Their light goes out."

"Oh," I let out faintly. I wasn't sure I wanted to know how that felt. "So if you ever have to leave the pack..."

"They would stop feeling the bond," he ended. "That is why I do not go out of reach of the pack."

"Because you would stop feeling them, as well," I said softly. I shut my eyes again, and watched the stars as they moved along around me, pulsing with life, energy and love. I had never felt them before now, and in only a few minutes, I had grown accustomed to their glow, their warmth, their confidence. All of this, gone in a second? I shuddered. "Did they feel me?" I asked, opening my eyes again. "Did they feel our mating?"

"They probably felt the bond being formed between them and you, yes," he answered, and tossed me a shirt that I caught and shrugged over my shoulders. "They would feel it if you were distressed, or seriously hurt." I climbed off the bed to stand next to him and he reached for my hand, lacing our fingers as he pulled me closer. "To a much lesser extent than what mates might share, of course, but the link is there, nonetheless."

"I will feel it if you're hurt?" I asked, surprised. "Can we feel each other's pain?"

"I do not think so." He reached up to fasten a few buttons over my chest, moving to face me. "But I think we are able to tell if the other is hurt, or afraid, or angry." He smiled at me. "Or happy."

I smiled back at him. "I am happy."

His smile widened and he tilted up my chin, leaning down to drop a light, soft kiss on my lips. "I can tell." I grinned against his lips and wrapped my arms around his waist before snuggling up against his chest, sighing contently as his arms went around me as well. I shut my eyes and let my love for him flow through my chest and my mind, knowing he would be able to feel it. Even though feeling was enough, the words were on my tongue anyway and I savored them as I slowly let them out. "I love you, Gabriel," I whispered against the warm, salty skin of his neck.

His arms tightened around me and he turned his head to kiss my forehead. "Je t'aime aussi, Leah," he whispered back. "And you will never have to be alone again."

***

A bit later, we were in the kitchen making breakfast when I noticed it for the first time. Gabriel had his back to me, filling up the coffee machine as I worked the toaster. He hadn't put on a shirt, and I realized that while I had had quite a few occasions of appreciating the view of him from the front, until now I hadn't paid much attention to his back. As I moved close to him to hug him from behind, I noticed the fine white scar in the small of his back, following his spine right above the waistline of his jeans. A few inches long, it was straight as an arrow and finely healed: a clean surgical scar, most probably, and one he had probably gotten a while before he was turned, since it was still visible despite a Were's enhanced healing capacities. I reached out and ran a gentle finger along the pale white line, and instantly felt him tense under my touch. "It looks old," I said softly, laying a comforting hand over the scar.

"It is," he simply replied, keeping his eyes on dropping scoops of coffee into the filter. I moved closer and rested my chin on his shoulder, waiting until he was done counting and closed the lid of the coffee machine.

"How did it happen?" I asked gently.

"Surgery." He glanced sideways at me before looking back at the machine as he turned it on. "To fix my back."

I bit my lower lip. "At least it worked."

"Non," he said shortly. "It did not."

"It didn't—what?" I pulled back from him, and he turned around to face me, leaning back against the counter. "What's wrong with it?"

"It is a bit of a long story," he said with a soft sigh, and nodded to the table. "We should sit."

Ten minutes later, we were sitting at the dinner table with coffee and toast. Gabriel was silent, slowly wiping a drop of coffee trickling down the side of his cup. "Gab," I said with a sigh. "Talk to me."

He nodded, and glanced up at me. "What did you use to do?" he asked. "Before you were turned?"

I hadn't been expecting that and started slightly. I took a small sip of my coffee, thinking, and slowly set the cup back down. "I studied to be a cook," I finally said. "My brother and I had a business, a small restaurant."

It was his turn to be surprised. "You worked in a restaurant?"

"Italian pasta and grill. It was delicious." I waved my old life away and gave him a small smile. "What did you do?"

"I worked for my father's restaurant, actually," he said with a smile of his own. "Though I did not cook."

"I thought you could cook," I said with a chuckle.

"I can cook well enough to survive with a minimum of variety in my menu," he pointed out with a small snort. "That does not mean it is nearly good enough for me to make people pay to eat it."




Factors of Change Ch. 07



I laughed. "What did you do, then?"

"I managed it. It was only me and my father; my mother died when I was still a baby. My father was a good cook, but had no knowledge of numbers. I held the books, placed the orders with the suppliers, managed the employees, that sort of thing."

"Like an accountant?"

"Like a manager," he corrected, giving me a warning look. "I have always liked managing business. Playing with numbers, investing money, and watching it grow." He smirked. "And I am good at it."

I laughed at the look on his face. "Only now you do it with a whole pack. I'm glad to see it's in good hands."

He smiled at me before looking back down at his coffee. "I liked my job, and worked a lot. I was outside the rest of the time. Trekking, biking, and climbing. I have been outside my entire life. Joseph was my partner since we were children."

I felt my smile fade. "Is that how you hurt your back?"

"It was so stupid," he said with a shake of his head. "I could go trekking in dangerous mountains, downhill ski in the Alps and climb dangerous cliffs without ever hurting myself." He sighed. "When I was 26, in the winter, Joey and I were simply hiking in the Laurentians when I thought I saw something between the trees." He paused, and sighed again. "I stepped off the official track like a beginner, to try and see what it was, and stepped in a patch of soft, deep snow. I sunk in it all the way down to my thigh, lost my balance and ended up slipping and rolling all the way down the steep hill. I remember breaking through a few bushes, hitting my head, and nothing else." He shut his eyes, and I could tell how upset this was making him through our newly made bond. "When I finally woke up, I was lying on my back in a ditch, I had the mother of all migraines, and Joseph was sitting next to me, trying to get a fire started. And I could not feel or move my legs." The last words were spoken so quietly that I could barely hear them. "Two hours later, two men followed the smoke and found us, and Joey left with one of them to get some help while the other did his best to keep me awake. I was in a helicopter on my way to a hospital by the end of the night, crying the whole way to Montreal, because I was convinced that I could never walk again."

"Did you break your back?" I asked in a soft voice.

He nodded. "Two lumbar vertebrae crushed, very little chance of recovery," he said softly. "I went through surgery to retrieve bits of bones that had lodged themselves in the spinal cord, and they had hopes that it would bring back some sensation, but..." He shook his head. "It did not work."

I watched him closely, while trying to decipher the emotion I could feel from him. He had gone back to his expressionless face, but from now on I knew it would never work with me; he was so upset I could feel it clench my own heart. "But you're walking now," I said gently.

"At a great cost." He straightened himself on his chair with a sigh. "The two men who helped us in the mountains were Weres. In my fall, I landed very close to the river, and only a few kilometers away from the compound limits. Cedric and Mathieu were on sentry duty; they were the ones who helped us."

"Mathieu?" I let out, curious; I had never heard the name before.

Gabriel slowly nodded. "Cedric's older brother."

A wave of grief passed through our bond, and I suddenly felt horrible for asking. "Oh Gab," I said softly. "What happened to him?"

He shook his head, like he wanted to dismiss it. "I went back to some of my work, after the accident. As much as I could do from a wheelchair, at least, which is surprisingly a lot," he continued, blatantly ignoring my question. "My father insisted I continued physical therapy, he got me into discussion groups, and he pushed me to my limits at work." He smiled softly. "He kept me useful, and simply refused to let me feel bad for myself. And there was Joseph, with his new girlfriend Marie. And Cedric and Mat, who were concerned for me, and kept visiting after the accident."

"That's how you became friends?"

He nodded. "Close friends, although they never told me what they really were. Friendship between humans and Weres was not exactly encouraged by the previous Alpha."

I pressed my lips together. It sounded as though things weren't terrible, but... "What changed?"

"My father died," he said quietly. "Of a heart attack, walking home one evening."

"Oh. I'm sorry... Jesus, Gab, when did this happen?"

"About eight years after my accident." He looked down at his cup. Our coffees had probably gone a bit cold by then, but he took a healthy gulp of it anyway before setting the cup back down with a grimace. "I was left on my own with the restaurant. I had no desire to hire a cook, to do it all by myself. So I sold my father's business."

It was starting to dawn on me that he might have had good reasons to want to change his life then. "And were left without a job?"

"Without any use at all," he said, and scoffed softly. "It was a terrible decision, and everyone tried to talk me out of it, but I was stubborn, and did not listen." He narrowed his eyes down at his untouched plate of toast. "I shut myself out from my friends, my family. I tried to, at least. But Joey, Ced and Mat would not let me." His lips curved up slightly. "They did their best to help."

"But?"

"They got worried. I was not getting any better. I had no plans," he explained, glancing up at me. "Nothing interested me. I had lost my business, and I could no longer do the things I loved with my best friend, who by then had gotten married and had started his own family." He narrowed his eyes. "I started feeling sorry for myself, what my father had never let me do. I got depressed. And through it all, I became curious about my two other friends, who had not changed at all in all the eight years I had known them."

"Is that why they told you?" I asked him.

He opened his mouth to continue, before changing his mind and shaking his head. "How much do you know about our healing abilities?" he asked me.

"Not much, only that they're much better than humans'," I replied. "I heard somewhere it was because we could shift. Do you always have to change the subject?"

"That is right," he said, ignoring my comment. "But it is more complicated than just that. Shifting rearranges cells, and some organs completely reform themselves." I nodded; I knew all of that. Veins and arteries being reorganized, bones stretching and shortening, articulations rebuilt; shifting was a messy business for the body, and many parts of the body went through a complete renewal, such as the skin, the liver, neural connections, or the lining of the uterus, which explained things such as our impressive memory, or a Were's inability to shift when pregnant. "One of the organs that renew themselves each time we shift is the thymus. It basically controls the immune system."

"I've never heard of that," I admitted.

He smiled. "In humans, it starts degenerating very quickly after the teenage years. In our case, it is renewed each time we shift."

"So that's why we don't get sick. And heal so quickly."

"And age so slowly," he added with a nod. "Mathieu had the idea that if I was turned into a Were, these newly enhanced healing abilities would help fix my spine, and allow me to walk again." He gave me a wry smile. "Cedric pointed out that if it did not work, I would only have a much, much longer life to live in a wheelchair, but they agreed on presenting the options to me, and giving me a choice."

"Did you believe them?" I asked him. I couldn't imagine what I would have thought as a human, if one of my friends had turned up and offered to change me into a werewolf.

"I did when one of them shifted in front of me," he said with a soft snort. "And I decided that I had nothing to lose, and went with it." He took a deep breath and let it out loudly, running both hands through his hair. "Mathieu was the one who bit me. It took me a few days to shift for the first time; they stayed with me the whole time, and could not hide it from Joseph when he came to visit."

"And it worked?" I asked, fascinated.

"Not after the first time," he said wryly. "I panicked when I shifted back to a human and I still could not walk. But the brothers persisted, told me that some wounds do not heal perfectly on the first try, and after a few weeks, I started regaining sensation in my legs, my leg muscles regained the tonus they had lost." He glanced up at me. "Two months later, at the beginning of summer, I could walk. So yes, it did work. But I was not supposed to exist, and they both could not hide me from the pack forever."

I knew what he meant. It was a bigger offense to unwillingly change a human, but it was still forbidden to tell humans about Weres. And in order to get Gabriel's consent, the two brothers had told him everything. He had chosen to be turned, yes, but if he had not, it might have endangered the pack to have a human know everything about it. "What happened?" I asked, a growing feeling of dread settling in my stomach. Cedric was still in the pack. But I had never heard of him having a brother.

"Mathieu was exiled, kicked out of the pack," he whispered. "We tried, Cedric and I, and other friends of theirs, to reverse the Alpha's decision. But in the end, he had to leave. And he did so in the dead of the night, without saying goodbye to anyone."

"He must have been angry," I whispered. Gabriel scoffed at my obvious comment, but didn't add to it.

"We left, Cedric and I. We left the pack to try and find him, to try to bring him back, and change the Alpha's decision." He pressed his lips together, and nervously drummed his fingers on the table. "We followed him across the country all summer as he travelled west, but we could never find him, only traces he left behind. He was growing increasingly clumsy," he said, with a click of the tongue. "We would hear things, about beasts being attacked and people hearing things in the nighttime. The local packs were very unhappy about it, and we grew worried that he had become unstable, that he might eventually turn rogue and attack humans, unless we found him in time and brought him home."

I stared at him for a few moments. "You didn't find him, did you?" I asked softly.

"We caught up with him in Alberta," he said quietly, "but only because the Calgary pack had already... taken care of him. He attacked and killed humans there. They had to stop him before he did it again."

The words hung in the air, ugly and sad, and rang in my ears for a long moment. My heart broke for Gabriel, but for Cedric as well, who had lost a brother to something as stupid as a law applied by an intolerant Alpha. "What a horrible waste," I whispered, my voice trembling with frustration. "He only wanted to help you!"

He narrowed his eyes down at the table. "Yes. Alpha Robinson was not the most understanding of leaders."

"That sounds like a terrible euphemism! What happened to him?"

"I beat him," he said, with a slight hint of satisfaction. "Three decades later, in the Alpha elections, I won against him and took his place. He moved away afterwards, in Quebec City, with his wife and the rest of his family."

"Good for him," I snorted, and paused for a moment. "Three decades? How old were you?"

"When I was turned? In 84... I was thirty-three," he replied. "Almost thirty-four."

I nodded absently. Something was nagging at my brain, but I couldn't pinpoint what it was about his story that bothered me. Gabriel was 63 now, so he had been a werewolf for exactly thirty years, just like me. What a strange coincidence.

I looked up at him. It seemed to me like he had been a Were for much longer than I had, but then again, he had been mentored and trained and groomed in the ways of a pack from the start, unlike me with my hectic upbringing. But we had been turned at the same time. He here, in Montreal, and me, a few months later, in the mountains of...

"Oh God," I whispered, making him glance up at me. My head spun, my ears started ringing, and all of a sudden I realized I was very close to fainting.

I must have looked truly alarming, because Gabriel quickly rose from his chair to crouch next to me, laying a comforting hand on my arm. "Lili?" he asked, a confused look on his face. "Leah, are you alright?"

"No... No. Gabriel... there aren't coincidences like that."

He frowned. "What?"

"It was your friend," I said weakly. "It was him, it was Mathieu..."

"Leah," Gabriel said in a stern voice. He squeezed my arm, and shook it gently. "What are you talking about?"

"It was in 1984, too, that I was attacked by a rogue," I whispered. "In August. In Banff. Gabriel, I think... I think we were the people they told you he attacked."

His face went completely blank, and he paled considerably. "You..." He pressed his lips tightly for a moment, before he dropped his hand from my arm and pushed himself up to stand again. "You did tell me it had been thirty years," he whispered, a truly confused look on his face. "I hadn't... I had not realized."

"It might not be it," I said weakly, suddenly feeling bad for saying anything. "I might be wrong."

"Non," he said quietly. "How many rogues could there have been in a hundred miles radius of Calgary in one month? Non, Lili, I do not think this is a coincidence." He took a step back and let himself fall back into his chair, rubbing his hands hard against his face. I watched him carefully, wondering what to say. I could feel nothing but a jumble of emotions emanating from him and couldn't isolate one; I really needed to get the hang of that mate bond thing. "Could it be..." he suddenly said, and dropped his hands to look at me. He didn't look as upset as it felt to me, but I knew better than to believe his facial expression.

"What?" I finally said when he didn't continue. "Could what be what?"

"It is maybe a crazy thought, but...As unlikely as it sounds, it seems we were both bitten by the same Were," he said softly, almost sadly. I reached out for him, and he grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. "Could it possibly be the reason we are mates?" he finally said, and I almost dropped his hand in surprise. "Why we were able to be with each other?"

I stared at him, at a loss of words for a long moment. It made an awful lot of sense, though. It might explain why we felt so close from the beginning. And since so few Turnings occurred in the Were world, almost no Were would have the occasion of biting two humans, and it might, sadly, explain why no other Turned Were had found their mate before Gabriel and I. My throat suddenly felt tight at the idea; for Joey and Marie, who was maybe right to fear losing her husband. "For the sake of all the other Turned Weres, Gabriel," I said softly, "I really hope you're wrong."