26 comments/ 28548 views/ 7 favorites Disappointment Doesn't have to Last By: Scorpio44 This story has sex and mystery as key ingredients. If you believe in ghosts, spirits, possibility, and or divine intervention you just might like this story. Like it or not I'd appreciate feedback about what you liked or didn't like about it. * The letter came on Wednesday. The envelope was heavy, gray and the size of a business letter. The postmark was from the town where I live. Inside, a simple printed note. Unsigned. Friday evening Take the old forest road eight miles past the mill. Turn right and go two miles. Bring firewood for the weekend. I'll bring the rest. The letter came to my apartment. I read it three times and put it on the table. One question kept nagging at me. Who? I considered that it might be a sick sort of joke. But who? I had been living here for almost a year and keeping to myself. I didn't have any friends close enough to play a joke on me. Hell, I didn't have any friends at all. The ones I used to have were all back in the city I left a year ago. They didn't even know where I had gone. This town was where I picked to start over. Maybe I picked this town to hide in. That was possible since I hadn't made any effort at starting over since I arrived. I found a job working the graveyard shift at the truck stop selling gas and diesel. I sat in a small glass booth and watched the computer monitor the fuel being pumped from any of the fourteen pumps. I ran the credit cards and collected the cash from the drivers and that was my life. There was bullet-proof glass between me and any customer. A good metaphor for my life. I received about four letters a month. The notice that my rent was due. My gas and electric bills and one from my Mom. Mom always told me the news and what the people I used to know were doing. If I was feeling good I read her letters. If I was feeling lonely I didn't. It had been three months since I read a letter from Mom. When I arrived at the truck stop I clocked in and headed for the cash shack. The evening shift guy was finishing up his tally. I counted my cash drawer, entered the pump totals on the clip board, and quietly waited for him to leave. At eight past the hour he left. There were three trucks and one pick-up fueling. The credit cards were on the rack. Out on the center island I could see the clock and the temp gauge. 10:09pm 39F. At 10:27 the temp read 36F and I picked up the phone that connected me to the convenience store just inside the main building. Sharon answered. "Must be about 36 degrees out there." "Yes. Could I get a large coffee and a bear claw, please?" "On the way." The phone went dead. I watched the door and Sharon came out holding her coat tight around her body and carrying a bag and a large cup of coffee. When she arrived I opened the pass through and she gave me the coffee and bag. I was not allowed to let her in or to open the door. Someone had opened the door four years before and the truck stop had been robbed and the cashier killed. I watched her go back inside where it was warm. I listened to the radio and watched the trucks and the weather. Once in a while I thought about being the weather guy on the radio. I was right about what was coming more often than he was. That night business was pretty good. Lots of trucks fueling up for the drive east. They wanted a head start on a storm headed our way. At twenty minutes before seven I started tallying everything for the end of my shift. When I was done with the cash the phone rang. Sometimes the boss called to see what the totals were for the last twenty-four hours. I answered, thinking it was probably him. A soft female voice said, "Nick, please bring a few candles too." Then the line went dead. Like it would help, I looked around. I didn't see anyone. I did see three more trucks pull in and the drivers headed for my shack. At 7:02 the day shift arrived and I was gone. The armored car would be by at eight to get the money and credit card slips for the last twenty-four hours. By then I intended to be asleep. I woke up as the sun was going down. I went out and checked the mail just as I have every day for the last year. Just like the day before there was a gray envelope. Please don't disappoint me. There is already too much Disappointment In the world. The voice on the phone. Who was she? Why was she asking me to the forest on Friday night? Would I go? I thought about disappointment. I've had my share, and then some. Like my Dad used to say, "If I wasn't disappointed I'd have no emotions at all." Some days I worked hard at ignoring the pain of the disappointment I feel about the past. Some days I actually feel like maybe I'm not in pain, and that's about as good as my life gets. I went to Mark's Market and got a quarter cord of wood. I guess I was going to the forest. I also got some things from the market. Things I wouldn't normally buy. Hot chocolate mix, two of the blue metal cups people camping drink coffee and hot chocolate from, some wooden matches and five candles. On the drive home I was thinking about the weekend. Somehow she knew it was my weekend off. She knew more about me than I knew about her. I wondered what was out at the end of that road. I wondered who was out at the end of that road. The radio weather guy started his forecast with news about the storm. He thought it would begin Friday night after seven and end Sunday afternoon. It could drop up to a foot of snow. I was glad my truck had lots of firewood in it. I was also glad I had a four wheel drive truck. When I got off work I topped off my truck and headed home. I packed some things for the weekend: a sweater, sweatshirt, extra socks and pants, toilet kit, two extra blankets, a couple of towels, and my sleeping bag. I ate and then went to sleep. My dreams were about a faceless woman and huddling in the cold. The sun was almost down when I drove away from town. I followed the directions and found the road off the highway. It was unmarked and dirt. By the time I had gone half a mile it was mostly dark and I could only see what my headlights illuminated. As my odometer told me I had gone two miles the road turned. I saw a cabin just ahead. Smoke curled from the chimney and I saw that there was a small lantern sitting on the ground a few steps out from the door. I backed the truck to the front of the cabin and got out. A large drop of rain hit me on the neck as I stepped out of the truck. The wood was safe. It was covered with a tarp. I grabbed my bag and sleeping bag and ran for the porch. On the porch I opened the door to the cabin and put my bag and sleeping bag on the floor. Since I was already wet I went back to the truck and got an arm load of wood. Somehow getting the wood onto the porch and out of the weather became important and I spent some time getting all of it out of the truck and stacked on the porch. I covered the stack with the tarp and then I went again to the door. I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. The cabin was small, consisting of a room with everything but the bathroom and what I hoped was a bathroom. The fire in the fireplace was doing a good job of warming the interior. The far wall contained cabinets, a small stove and a refrigerator. A small table covered with a red and white checkered tablecloth and with two chairs sat near the kitchen. Against the wall opposite the fireplace the bed resided. Between the bed and the fire a small couch faced the fire. In the middle of the bed was another gray envelope. I assumed that she was in the bathroom. I was freezing and wet so I skinned down to naked and used a towel I brought to dry off. I hung my clothes over one of the chairs that I moved close to the fire. I pulled on a sweater and pair of pants from my bag. The envelope seemed to call and I answered by picking it up. My name was printed by hand on the face of the envelope. Nick Inside the note said:Welcome! Get dry and comfortable. I'll be here soon. Think of me. Nicole Nicole? I didn't know anyone named Nicole. I once thought that if my wife and I ever had a daughter I would like to name her Nicole. I had even imagined how she would look as an adult with her mother's strawberry blond hair, skin like cream and the body of a goddess. She would be about five nine and always have the freshly scrubbed look I loved about her mother. I stopped. Nicole was never to be. That dream and so many others died in the crash that ended my wife's life, and mine. I looked at the couch and noticed a glass with ice and a can of Diet Coke next to it. Since the accident I hadn't had anything stronger than coffee or Diet Coke. Whoever this Nicole was she knew me. I sat on the couch, poured some DC in the glass and took a sip. I waited. Sipping and watching the fire. Curiosity and memories ran my thoughts and I was lost in those thoughts. Maybe I was so lost in those thoughts that I didn't hear her open the door and enter the room, but suddenly I heard her soft voice. "Please don't turn around just yet. Just listen to me. I am not your daughter Nicole. I look just as you imagined she would look but I am not her. I have come to give you a gift but the gift and this weekend have strings on them. Before you look at me or do anything you must agree with the strings." "What are the strings?" I asked in my head. I don't think I actually said the words out loud. "You cannot ask me anything about anything that happened before you arrived here in this room. Do you agree?" "That's it? I agree." "There is more. You cannot ask me to stay past this weekend. You cannot ask how I know what I know. You cannot attempt to hurt me. You cannot leave until the storm is over. Do you agree?" "Yes." "Please set the DC down and stand up and close your eyes." Her voice was so gentle and soft I wasn't sure I was hearing her with my ears or the words just were there in my mind. I did as she asked and when my eyes were closed I felt her standing in front of me. Without thinking I took her in my arms and she kissed me. Lips like that could be illegal in many places on this planet. They were warm and soft and I seemed to melt into them. Everything else disappeared in that kiss. I was not aware of the storm, the fire, standing, only her lips and warmth. I am not even sure I breathed. When she withdrew her lips I instantly missed them. I opened my eyes and the face just inches from mine was Nicole. Exactly as I had pictured her. She put her finger against my lips and said, "Don't ask. You promised. Everything will be clear and you will know everything by the end of the weekend. Are you hungry?" I nodded. She stepped away from me and into the kitchen. She was wearing a white dress that buttoned down the front all the way to the hem. It was made of eyelet material and fitted to her waist. At the hem it looked like a dress that was popular a few years before where the lacy petticoat showed. Women I used to know wore dresses like it when they went country dancing. They wore western boots when they went dancing. Nicole's legs were bare as were her feet. I was entranced by how she moved. The fluidity was that of a well trained dancer. No wasted motion at all. In less than a minute dinner was on the table. I watched her and finally understood the military phrase shock and awe. I surrendered. I had loved this woman as a dream and now she was here. She was here and looking at me like she expected me to do something. I suddenly realized that what she wanted was for me to sit down and eat. My clothes were on my chair and I picked them up to move them and they were dry. How long had I been here? My watch was gone. I sat down. We ate. I kept looking at her and wanting to ask questions. I didn't want to break any of the strings so I didn't ask. She kept smiling at me. "Nick, look inside yourself. What are you feeling right now, besides a little confusion?" "Happiness." "Feel good?" "Great!" "I didn't bring that to you. It was inside you all along. Now eat." We ate. I know the meal was wonderful but I don't know what it was. I loved watching her eat. I studied every movement, stored every thing she did in case I suddenly woke up from this strange dream. When dinner was over Nicole asked me to bring in some more firewood. She gathered our dishes and I went onto the porch. I brought three arm loads of firewood in, stacked it near the fireplace, and added two pieces of firewood to the fire. When I looked up Nicole was leaning against the sink watching me and smiling. "What's next?" I asked. "For the moment I still want to be in charge. Let's go out on the porch." It was cold outside and we didn't take jackets or blankets. Nicole was in a thin cotton dress and barefoot. My sweater and pants were enough for in the cabin but I too was barefoot. I felt a coolness on my face but everything else felt warm. We stood on the porch and Nicole stood against me and folded my arms around her. I could smell a delightful fragrance that seems to be rising from the nape of her neck. My lips found her neck and Nicole tilted her head inviting my free access to as much of her neck as I might want. She folded her arms into mine. Somewhere in my mind a picture formed of how we would look from out where the road turned. A man holding a beautiful woman and kissing her while standing on the porch of this cabin, as the rain fell. The porch had a metal roof so we could easily hear the rain as it landed on the roof over our heads. When I looked up from Nicole's neck the wind was swirling the rain out in front of us. The light from the cabin window sparkled on the raindrops as they fell. Beyond the illuminated rain the night was completely dark. At some moment Nicole turned and hugged me. I loved how she felt in my arms. Memories of my wife and how she felt flashed thru me and I realized that it had been her who was the last woman in my arms. Disappointment washed over me like a wave, a familiar and uncomfortable wave. Disappointment that it wasn't her standing here in my arms. Disappointment that it had been over a year since the last time I had kissed or held anyone. That flash was followed by a thought; "Nick, you can be in disappointment that the past is gone or you can live in this moment." Nicole tilted her face to mine and I kissed her again. As the kiss warmed me and filled me with feelings I had put away I began to really pay attention to what I was feeling. I quit thinking about who she was, where she came from, how she knew me. I even stopped thinking about the past. The next time I looked out the rain had turned to snow. A light dusting had covered the top and hood of my truck. The snow was falling straight down in silence. "Perhaps we should go inside," I said. Nicole turned without speaking and led us inside. I closed the door. Nicole went behind the couch and sat on the foot of the bed. She looked up at me and asked, "Nick, would you do me a little favor?" "If I can." She patted the bed next to her. I sat. "Nick, I want you to love me. I want you to undress me and love my body, my warmth, my slippery parts. I want you to be here with me as you share yourself with me. I want this weekend to be about joy and laughter and sex and living in the moment. Can you do that favor for me?" "Can I ask a question?" "Another one?" "Yes. Why me?" "I know some things about you. One of them is how powerful your love can be. For the past few months you have been suppressing your love. All my life I have wanted to be loved the way I believe you can love someone. For this weekend I want it to be me." "Maybe the old me was loving and capable of loving like you say. That's past. I'm not like that anymore." "I don't want the man you were five years ago or even the man you were five days ago. I want the man you can be five minutes into the future to love me. No faking, no pretence, just you, letting yourself love someone, for no reason. You don't know me. I look like a fantasy you have held onto for years but you don't know me. Can you love me?" "I think I may have forgotten how to love." "Shall I go then? Are you turning me down?" Her face showed that leaving wasn't what she wanted. Her eyes filled with tears and sadness. My heart opened. It had been closed and shuttered for a long time and suddenly I did not want Nicole to be disappointed. I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close and whispered: "I will love you as much as I'm able for the whole weekend." "Can we start with more kissing?" "No. I will start by adding a couple more logs to the fire. I may be busy for a while and I don't want to be interrupted." That done, I came back to Nicole sitting on the bed. As I sat I noticed the top three buttons of her dress were unbuttoned. I leaned to her and kissed her. She tasted like strawberries. The taste was faint but recognizable as strawberries. Her tongue slid into my mouth and danced with mine. Her hands pushed at me and I found my self laying back on the bed with Nicole above me. Nicole hiked up her skirts and straddled me at the waist. Suddenly I was aware of her warmth radiating into my hips. The heat and weight of her on top of me helped create the beginning of arousal. I was looking up at this woman sitting on me smiling her enigmatic smile and I wanted her. I was aware that I wanted to hold her, wanted to touch her, wanted to lay her on the bed and... not fuck her. No, I wanted to... I didn't have a word but I knew it wasn't fuck. Nicole bent over and kissed me. She sat right back up and I grabbed her arms and pulled her back to my lips. She sat back up and resisted when I reached for her arms again. Instead she reached for the top buttoned button and slowly unbuttoned it. All the while she looked at my face. After the button was loose I pulled her to my lips again and the kiss was warmer, longer, with more tongue dancing. As the kiss ended she sat up again and the next button came loose. I saw white lace in the opening created. Another kiss. Then, a kiss on her neck. More than one. She pushed back up and unbuttoned the next button. One more and she would be unbuttoned to her waist. She held the sides open and I could see lots of pale skin and the lace of half of each cup of her bra. Being a man I thought; "maybe a B cup, maybe a C." She took both of my hands and placed them on her bra. I made a light circular motion and felt her nipples tighten. I also felt my erection pushing against her bottom. I knew she could feel it too. "Do you want to finish undressing me or do you want to watch?" "May I watch?" "Of course. I know I will love having you watch." Nicole jumped off me and off the bed. She danced around the cabin. The light from the fireplace danced on her skin and reflected colors off her white dress. She stopped over by the fireplace and reached for the hem of her dress. One button at a time she unbuttoned the dress from the bottom up. After each button was loose she danced and twirled. With each move I could see more of her legs. She stopped again at the fireplace. Only two buttons left. She walked back to me and said, "They're yours. Please finish undressing me. Unwrap me like the present I am for you." My hands shook as I unbuttoned those last two buttons. The dress opened and Nicole was standing before me in white lace panties and bra framed by the dress hanging from her shoulders. The skin of her body showed no tan lines from last summer, or ever, just silky smooth blemishless skin. The bra and panties were white lace but didn't show any hint of nipples or pubic hair. I realized I knew nothing about this woman, again. I'd never been one for a one-night-stand. I'd dated my wife almost a year before she stood before my like Nicole was standing at that moment. It felt like something was wrong. It felt like she was making a mistake. She should be here with someone else. I was bad luck. She would be disappointed... and so would I. Disappointment Doesn't have to Last "Easy. You're off somewhere in your head. Be here with me. You used to think you were a pretty good lover. You might think you're rusty and that's OK. I have enough lubrication to loosen up those parts that haven't been used in a while. If it helps close your eyes and make believe I'm an alien from another planet here to seduce you to help us populate Venus." "Hell, for all I know you are!" "I'm not. Nick, I'm attempting to make this as easy for you as I can. I love you. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's true. Not only that but I know everything about you. Ask me anything, I know the answer." "Why do you love me?" I looked at her face and expected something. What I got was not what I expected. She dropped the dress and stepped close enough to me that her front was against mine. She looked in my eyes and said, "Because when you kiss me I can believe I am a goddess. Because when I look in your eyes I can see the possibility that isn't there in most eyes. Because I love the feel of your hardness when you're pressed against me. Because I have never felt safer than when I am in your arms." I could not answer. I didn't have words and I did have her tongue in my mouth. For the first time in many years I wished I were a poet. Only a poet had a chance of describing what I was feeling. "Finish unwrapping me, Honey." She called me Honey. I had been called that before. Just minutes before the accident my wife had called me Honey. Hearing the words again hurt and sounded so very sweet to my ears. I believed her. I wanted to be Honey. My hands used to be practiced and I took pride in the One-handed bra removal move I used to be able to do. This time I needed some time and both hands. The reward was seeing Nicole offering herself to my hands and mouth. The reward was accepting her offer. Nicole's breasts were warm to my touch and firm. The areola and nipples were pink and when I kissed one it felt hot in my mouth. Nicole's arms went around my head and hugged my face to her breast. I worshiped at her breasts for a long while. She said I was unwrapping her gift to me. I loved Christmas, birthdays and any excuse for presents. My hands caressed her back as I worshiped her breasts. Her hands caught mine and lowered them to her panties. There are certain types of multi-tasking that men can do. Attending to the removal of panties while also attending to the worship of breasts, are two tasks that men can do at the same time. I was out of practice but I managed to do both. I don't know how she did it but I realized I was naked. Nicole was naked. The cabin was warm. The bed was right there. Nicole pushed me back on my back and climbed astride me again. This time I could feel her warmth directly and the arousal was about as big as it was possible for me to be. Her lips met mine. Her nipples pressed on my chest. I felt the press of her wet pussy against my cock. I thought, "Thank you God!" "You're welcome," Nicole said, in between kisses. Every adult woman I have known intimately... no, every woman I have known sexually has known how to wiggle herself just so that she lines up her opening and my cock . Nicole did that wiggle and I felt myself being sucked into her wetness. Millimeter by millimeter she sat back on me until her pubic bone was pressed against mine. Some feelings are so incredible that they cannot be described, only experienced. Being inside Nicole is one of those feelings. Holding her, kissing her, while being slipped in and out of her slowly is almost enough to have one pass out. I didn't let go quite that far but almost. The first few minutes we didn't speak. We moved together and apart in concert, as though our lives had brought us to this moment and for just this event. Nicole sat up tall in the saddle and rode like this was for the championship buckle. Suddenly she stopped and leaned forward and looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't fucking. This is joining." I nodded. She kissed me and got back in the saddle. I felt the feeling of impending climax and rolled us over so that I could be on top. I like holding myself up and watching as I penetrate my partner's body. When Nicole was beneath me I didn't raise up. I held her against me. We kissed and held each other and I slowly joined with her. Her legs wrapped around my hips. Our bodies pressed together from hips to the hair on our heads. I felt Nicole's body start trembling and the little noises she made became louder. The noises our bodies made in coming together were the noises of physical joy. I wanted to laugh, to cry, to cum in joy. Blond hair spread on her pillow and her head tilted back as a long low moan built to a loud almost scream. In the middle of that I came too. As we headed toward normalcy I rolled on my side and Nicole snuggled against me. We kissed once and fell asleep. When I awoke I knew I was covered and the fire was low. I could hear Nicole's breathing behind me and feel the warmth of her body touching mine. I melded into the experience and smiled. I felt better than I had felt since the accident. "No. Don't go there," Nicole's whisper brought me back to snuggling in bed. She was right. I had promised to love her for the weekend. I rolled slowly so I faced her and when I did she kissed me. Our other kisses had been soft and tender with an undercurrent of passion. This kiss was forceful and demanding! I was being swallowed by feelings, emotions, both hers and mine and I willingly let go of any control I thought I might have. She explored me with hands that seemed to know where each and every nerve ending could be found. Her lips and tongue taught me expressions of lust mixed with caring and respect that I had only dreamt of. I was inside her and feeling her wrapped around me tightly. As she and I moved the sensations were all over my body. It was as if her vaginal walls were surrounding my soul and embracing my very essence. We joined slowly and then fast and hard. Our noises could have kept the neighbors awake, if we had any neighbors. Three times during the night we woke and joined. We screamed as we came, and we laughed and cried too. My restrained emotions were released and I felt everything. In the morning I added wood to the dying fire and we snuggled together and watched the fire for a long time. Hunger and the need to use the bathroom finally got me out of bed. I went into the bathroom and when I came out breakfast was on the table. I was amazed. I had been gone just long enough to pee and when I came back there were three eggs, sausage and toast on my plate and a hot cup of coffee next to it. Rather than ask questions that would have no answers I just kissed Nicole and sat down. As we ate we talked. "Nicole, you know I am full of questions." "And, you know there are questions you cannot ask." "This weekend is about me loving you isn't it?" "No. Yes. This weekend is about love, yes. This weekend isn't about loving me." "There's no one else here." "There's you." "This weekend is about loving me?" "Yes." "Perhaps I'm denser than most but I'm missing something important here." "Ever since the day that your wife died you haven't loved anyone or anything. You closed off the part of you that could feel. Nothing got in. Your friends back in Colorado did everything they could think of to love you back to feeling again, and you ran away. You came here and locked yourself in a glass box with a computer and credit cards. You have no friends. You haven't even read the letters from your Mom in months." "You know everything about me." "I know more about you than anyone ever has. I came here to love you and to have you love life again." "How am I doing so far?" "You don't get a grade for this weekend. You will either pass or fail. If you fail I will never be back and you won't even remember this weekend ever happened." "Tell me what to do. I don't want to forget this weekend, or you." "Love me. Not just with joining, but with your heart and mind. Show me your world, the one you used to show Sara, filled with joy and wonder. Do you remember that world?" "Get dressed. We need to go out on the porch." "We don't need clothes. We won't be cold." She took my hand and led me out onto the porch. All around us the snow fell. My truck had a white blanket six inches deep on it and the branches of the trees were heavy with snow. It was day but no blue sky, just white with falling silent flakes of snow. "Take a deep breath Nicole. Breath in the smell of winter. As a kid it was my favorite smell that didn't come from the kitchen. My Dad and Grandpa couldn't smell it. Sara did. Can you smell it?" "Yes!" She stepped off the porch and held her arms out as she breathed in the smell of winter. Flakes of white fell onto her hair and stayed. She turned and faced me, smiling. "Show me more of your world!" I stepped to her and held her. I whispered to her ear, "Listen. The snow falls so quietly you can't hear it with your ears. You can hear it though." I paused. I hadn't touched this part of me in a long time. "I listen to the snow fall with my heart. It falls quietly to cover the things of the past and begin a new cycle of life. No hurry, no rush, no fanfare. The wind will come later." "Yes!" "This is the world I love. You and Sara were able to see and hear it too." "Others can. Others do. Like you they don't talk about it much." "My Dad said I was mentally ill, thinking I could hear the snow falling." "So you stopped telling him or anyone else about the soft sound." I nodded. Nicole came back onto the porch and into my arms. I turned her so we could look out at the falling snow. Off in the distance I heard a tree groan with the weight of snow building up on its branches. "Did you hear that tree?" "Yes. It loves to flex under the weight of the snow and soon it will shake it loose and stand tall again." "Yes. I love the sounds of the forest. When I was a kid I would wander the forest almost every day, watching and listening." "Have you ever wondered about the trees? Do they feel? Do they feel love?" "Sara and I talked about that a few times. At first I thought no, but now I think yes, they feel love. When the tree we heard shudders and flexes it is experiencing loving being a tree. I think the word is rejoicing. The tree rejoices in being a tree." "Can a man feel rejoicing?" "You mean me. Yesterday I would have said, No. The rejoicing of my life was over. Right now, standing here on the porch holding you and hearing the snow and the forest I have to say, Yes!" The sound of many trees shuddering and lots of snow falling from many braches sounded like a response to my Yes. "The forest knows when love is here." "I believe you." Nicole bent away from me while holding her hips and ass against my hips. My hardness slipped inside her and we slid together standing on the porch. The soft sounds of my cock moving in and out of Nicole's pussy were almost as soft as the sounds of snow. I held her hips. She held onto one of the support uprights for the porch. When I looked out from watching me penetrating her I saw a deer standing fifty feet away, watching us. Nicole looked up and saw the deer too. She pushed back against me and moaned softly. A seven point buck walked up beside the doe and nibbled her neck. She walked away a few feet and he followed. Their dance of loving had begun as well. "Cum inside me, Nick." I felt my juices building pressure within me and I didn't resist. When the moment came I pushed in as deep as I could get and somewhere in the forest a buck sounded as I did. Nicole turned and faced me. Her hands held my face in hers and we kissed. The kiss was soft and warm. When it eventually ended she said, "Thank you." "Thank you." I guided her back inside. The fire had not gone out but was low. I tended it and then found Nicole was ready to feed me again. "Do you know what happened to my watch?" "Yes." "Are you going to tell me?" "No. You don't need a watch this weekend. When you are hungry, eat. When you want exercise I'll give you all you can ever want. If you want sleep you can do that too. What do you want with a watch?" "I guess I'm in the habit of only eating at certain times." "You haven't eaten me yet." "I'd like to. Will you taste like strawberries there too?" "Strawberries?" "The first time we kissed I tasted strawberries. The taste is still there." "Do you like it?" "Yes! I wish I tasted as good as you do." "Perhaps you do. You'll never know because you can't be me tasting you. However, I like how you taste." I ate the lunch she made and we went to the bed where she lay back and opened her legs to me. Every move was the move of a dancer, smooth and controlled, sensuous and fluid. I knelt beside the bed and faced her open pussy. Her feet took positions on my shoulders and she raised her hips just a little as I leaned in to kiss her lips. My lips tasted her pussy for the first time and I was amazed! She tasted just the slightest bit like strawberries! The unmistakable fragrance and taste of woman was also there. There is, in my humble opinion, no better fragrance or taste than a woman's pussy. And, like I've heard about fine wines, the taste gets better with age. Not the woman's age but she tastes wonderful the first time and ten times that good the tenth time I'm invited to the feast. When I was a young man I went to church. I became friends with one of the ministers and we talked about a lot of things. One of those things was sex. The church taught that sex should be saved until marriage. The church taught that any sexual activity should be within marriage and be aimed at procreation. My minister friend quietly told me that the church taught all that to get and maintain control over the members. He believed that God didn't care who we coupled with, just that we did it in love and cared for the person. He taught me about being responsible and respectful in my sexuality. As my lips savored the taste of Nicole I remembered what he said so many years before. "Kneeling between a woman's legs is a close as a man can get to tasting Heaven." "He was right." "You hear my thoughts don't you?" "Yes, and you can hear mine too." My focus became to slowly lick and kiss her to an incredible orgasm. I sucked her lips into my mouth and ran the edge of my tongue along them. Nicole moaned and squirmed. "My clit, Nick. Suck my clit please, Honey." I released her lips and took hold of her clit with my lips. I sucked on it and touched it with my tongue. She moaned and pressed her pussy against my face. Her hands grasped my head and pulled my face tighter against her slippery places. I could feel her body shuddering and shaking. She was close. Her thoughts entered my brain. "I won't cum until you tell me to. This cum belongs to you. Drink me in. Have me." My hands went along her sides and then grasped her breasts. She shook harder. Her noises were almost animal, almost without control. Almost. "Cum for me now, Nicole!" I thought. "I love you!" She stiffened and her legs shot out from my shoulders and tightened against my head. Her delicious nectar flowed out of her and into my mouth. She uttered a scream that was primal and joyful. When she began to calm down she grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me up from between her legs to up on top of her. My erection slipped inside her without thought and she began a dance that connected our bodies and souls together. Her legs wrapped around my hips and held me tight against her and deep within her. I thought, "I love you! I love you! I love you!" I heard her thoughts, "I love you. I love you. I love you." Our joining was slow and sensual. I touched as much of her skin as I could reach and she returned the favor. She twisted my nipples and I arched my back. I bent and we kissed. "I love your lips." "All of them?" "Yes! All of them!" We laughed and joined and kissed and touched. That was the goal. We were expressing love. I have no idea how long we coupled. We eventually fell asleep, still joined. When we woke we cuddled together and talked. The fire was fresh and the cabin warm. We no longer used our voices. "Tell me about when you learned about loving a woman." "You already know." "Tell me anyway." "I had known about the mechanics of sex since I was eleven. I read books at the library. At seventeen I got a job working as a cook at a fast food place. One of the old kind with waitresses on roller skates and a shelf that hangs out the car window. Just after I turned eighteen I was working on a Friday night and we closed at one in the morning Saturday morning. I flirted with every skirt that worked there and all the ones that visited. For some reason I had little trouble getting a first date but nothing ever got serious." "And...?" "Just before closing I heard the back door open. Only the cooks and the owners had keys. I looked around and it was Mrs. Walker, the owner. Her eyes were red like she had been crying. She went right into her office and shut the door. I went back to work. After everyone had gone home and the lights were off I cleaned up the grill and the rest of the kitchen. I went to the office door and knocked. "Mrs. Walker, I'm ready to lock up. Do you want me to leave the breakers on?" She opened the door. Her make up was streaked and she looked terrible. I had a clean white towel in my hand and without thinking I started cleaning her face. She just stood there and let me. When I had wiped as much as would come off without a good scrub I stopped. "Do you have to go right now?" She asked. "No. My folks are on vacation and I don't work until Sunday." "Come in and sit down." I did. She sat on the small couch and told me her story. She had been in San Diego for two days at a conference and she wanted to come home, so she did. When she got home she walked in on her husband in bed with his secretary. She drove around for a while and ended up at her office. I had no idea what to say, so I didn't. She started to cry again and I moved to the couch and held her. I didn't say anything. I just held her. After she cried herself dry she looked up at me and asked, "Am I ugly?" "No. You're a good looking woman." "You're just saying that because I'm your boss. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." "I won't lie to you. I've thought a few times about how lucky your husband is to get to see you naked. I think you are beautiful. Not the cute or pretty like the girls that work here or go to school with me, but beautiful like a woman should be." "Have you been with any of the girls from your school?" "Been with? You mean dated?" "No, I mean had sex with." "No. Not even close." "My husband went all the way with his secretary, tonight!" "I'm sorry." "Me too." I had been sitting beside her with one arm around her shoulders. She stood and then sat right back down, in my lap. She curled up in my lap and wrapped both my arms around her. She put her head on my chest and cried some more. I sat still and held her. The crying changed to sobs and I cried with her. She fell asleep in my arms. I think I did too. Suddenly we were awake and looking at each other. "Did you say your parents are out of town?" "Yup. They called me last night from Nebraska." "Let's go to your house." "OK. I'll lock up." I did lock up and as we went out the back door I noticed the sky was starting to get light. She drove me home. It wasn't very far. She parked her car in the back yard, between the gate and the garage. I opened the back door and we went in. I gave her the ten cent tour and asked what she wanted to do. "I want to take of all our clothes, take a shower together and then sleep with you." Disappointment Doesn't have to Last I couldn't think of a single objection to her plan. I started the shower and we showered together. As she undressed I watched the first naked woman I had ever seen in the flesh. She was more beautiful without her clothes than I had imagined she would be. In the shower she began teaching me about a woman's body. We stayed in the water until the hot water started to run out. I dried her and she dried me. When she saw my single bed she asked, "When will your parents be back?" "Two weeks from today." She turned and led me into their bedroom. She opened their bed and we got in. "First we sleep. When we wake up you get lesson number one." Lesson number one was a lesson in foreplay. Kissing. Then petting and kissing together. Over the next two weeks every time I wasn't working I was with her. She taught me how to eat pussy and how to fuck. She taught me that there is fucking, coupling and joining. I thought she knew it all. I was wrong." "Your one of the best lovers on this planet. You learned a lot from Cathy, and from every woman you have ever danced with, or kissed, fucked, coupled or joined. For over a year you have hidden that gift from everyone. Sad, really sad." "I don't think I'm all that." "You've never been kissed by you! I know what it does to a woman, inside." "So, what do I do? Forget about my wife? The love of my life?" "No! When you were inside me was that wrong?" "No. I love you." "You don't even know me and yet you do love me. You are rare Nick. You have a purpose here. You are a wayshower, a teacher, a guide. You can change the atmosphere here for love, if you will." "Are you talking to me?" "Yes. I know you better than you know yourself. I know who you are, who you have been and I know how powerful you are intended to be." "I don't." "Remember being happy?" "Vaguely." "You get to choose. You can be happy every day and every night of your life or you can live every day and night in disappointment." "I get to choose? I choose to be happy. but I don't feel any different." "You will. Remember Cathy? She was your coach way back in 1975. I'm your coach now. I'm here to teach you about happiness and how to spread the word." "You're serious, aren't you?" "I want you to imagine something. Imagine walking into a room with fifty people in it. Every one of them wants to be with you. Every one of them wants to be with every one in the room. You are greeted with hugs and kisses. You are free to love every person in the room." "Am I in some kind of cult?" "No. You are at home. These are people who are waiting for someone to show them how to be happy, be a family. You are going to start the family right after the storm ends. It will come to you as easily as the snow falls." "What do I do?" "When you see an opportunity to love someone, do it. Don't think or worry about what others will think. Just love them." "That's it?" "That's what you have resisted for over a year." "Come over to the couch with me, would you?" She did. I had her curl up on my lap and we sat quietly thinking about loving, being loved, being Love. She taught me about love and life being the same thing and how what I've always wanted was to love people. When I woke up she was gone. The cabin was cold. There was no firewood left in the cabin. I went out to my truck and it was all loaded, just as it had been when I left my apartment. I lifted the tarp and saw my suitcase and the quarter cord of wood. I got my coat from the cabin and got in the truck. The snow was powder and the wiper blades cleared the windshield easily. As I drove away I looked in the mirror and watched the cabin disappear. At the highway I looked back again and the dirt road was gone, replaced with trees. I pulled onto the highway and drove back toward town. Halfway I saw two kids carrying armloads of wood toward a small house. I had a quarter cord of wood and gas heat at home. I pulled up to their house and asked them if they would help me. "What do you need, mister?" The boy asked. "I need to get the firewood out of my truck. Will you help?" "We can't pay you for firewood." "You ever met Santa Claus?" "No." "I haven't either but you need the firewood and I don't, so help me unload it." They carried the wood to their porch and as they carried the last two arm loads I drove away. When I got home I read all Mom's letters and found that there was a special reunion being held in three days and I felt the urge to go. I called the truck stop and asked for a week off. The answer was "No" so I quit. I gave them Mom's address to send my last check. I called Mom and told her I was already on the road. When Mom and I walked into the room I realized that was the room where I would love people and begin what Nicole had said was my life's work, Love. Was Nicole real? Yes. Real has lots of possibilities, she was one of the best. Was the cabin really there? Yes. Is Love real? Yes. Love has more possibilities than being real. Stop reading and go love someone.