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Christmas in Eden

By: stubborn_dreamer



 Christmas in Eden

 Chapter One:Friday

Eden Sawyer's life officially ended on Black Friday.

She had woken up with low expectations, dragged herself groggily along the cold tile floor and scalded herself awake in the shower. Minutes later she was choking down freshly opened cereal with a crispness that scratched her throat as she hurried it down. Driving a lovely 45 minutes down a crowded crazed highway she finally arrived to her destination.

Dynasty, the only retail store in the little city of Iben that could rival the mall.

And hell.

Eden had the unfortunate lot in life to work as a visual merchandiser for that store. Her job was in essence to "decorate." At this current time it was for Christmas. 

She didn't have a name tag and she was dressed head to toe in black. She spent her days scaling ladders like she was Spiderman's wife and hanging precariously from ledges that demanded tinsel, even so, there was always someone who had to say...

"Hi, excuse me?"

She took a deep breath. Maybe it's not me. Maybe it's not me.

"Excuse me?"

Dammit.

Sighing she forced herself to look down. Gosh she hated heights.

It was a mother of five, always, always a fucking mother, with three plus offspring trailing behind her.

"Yes?" Eden said politely.

"Would you happen to have this in a size 6?"

"...in womens?"

"Yes."

Currently Eden was decorating a very high ledge in Mens. Women's was downstairs. She looked at the women's children. 

All boys.

She could tell from the look in their eyes that they were ill behaved. Their gazes were feral like tigers, looking for a smidge of weakness so they could get permission to fuck up all her displays and try to put the plastic popcorn kernels she had so painstakingly glued upon the Tupperware towers into their fat, greedy, puckered up....

"Well?"

Eden hadn't realized she had just been staring at her in silence. The moment shook her out of her violent train of thought. Looking down she saw one of the younger boys stared at the edge of her ladder. His big brown eyes were wide like an owls. She watched him warily.

"Um, I'm sorry...

Please get your brat away from my ladder.

"I'm not sales, so I can't help you with sale related information."

The woman took this with relative grace and proceeded to look for someone who was "not" on a ladder, to help her. She watched as her and her four boys headed off into the distance. Wait four? She thought there were...

Her heart jumped into her throat when she felt the ladder bend. She grabbed it, too shocked to scream as the ladder tipped beneath her. She froze, waiting to see which way it would fall only for it to stabilize. Panicked, she slid down the ladder as quickly as possible. When her feet touched the ground she looked around to see the boy, possibly 7, staring at her with amusement.

Amusement? 

Maybe it had been the lack of concern the little boy had shown for her wellbeing, combined with her fear of falling and the fact that she hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night. 

Maybe it was because her boss was a prematurely balding pervert who enjoyed watching her climb up those ladders too much for her liking. Maybe it was just because she hated kids. Whatever the cause, the effect was Eden Sawyer losing her mind.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU KID?"

The store seemed to halt, and all eyes snapped to the 5 foot 7 woman who was screaming down on the tiny 7 year old child.

The kid looked at her blankly, clearly not expecting repercussions for his actions.

"Are you crazy?" she shrieked. 

"You could have killed me! I could have landed on my head and died! Do you know what died, means? Huh? Do ya? Do ya?"

It was then that his mother showed up. She wasn't there to witness the accident of course. All she saw was her child with tears collecting in his eyes.

And parental instinct dictated that no matter how bad the kid was, no mother would ever see that child at fault. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my child?" she said in a grave deadly tone.

"Your spawn from Satan knocked over my ladder. With me still on it."

Eden crossed her arms. "Aren't you his mother or something? Didn't you teach him better?"

"Don't you talk to me about my parenting skills..." the mother hissed in a low threatening voice. 

She stepped forward, an inch or so taller than Eden. She was bigger too, thanks to a telltale mixture of childbirth and hohos, and was probably menopausal, meaning that she could probably kill Eden, if not just injure her. 

Still Eden didn't care. She had at least 2 years of on and off tae-chi and a case load of unresolved authority issues. 

"I am going to fucking talk about your awful parenting skills when your kid is knocking down people on ladders," Eden hissed, imitating her voice. "If that was my parents I would have been beat up and down that ladder for even thinking about touching it."

"Corporal punishment is against..."

"Lady, beat your kids. Especially that one. Beat his ass before he's taking pock shots at you in a teenage rage."

Flabbergasted by her frank remarks the woman lost her physical prowess and instead to be irrational.

"I'm going to talk to your manager."

Great, the pervert was going to get in on this.

"Go ahead," Eden dared. "You'll still be a crappy mother with a rotten kid."

"Go to hell!"

"I can tell you've been there. Is that where you picked up your little Genius?"

It was then that her boss showed up. The woman was true to her word, detailing the heinous way in which Eden had addressed her, how she had "Never been so disrespected in her life," and how she "wanted her promptly fired."

See, Eden wouldn't have worried about that last bit too much. They couldn't fire her. She was the only visual merchandiser that store had. 

Without her Christmas was a bust...but that had been about 2 months prior. Eden was pretty much done with the store. That being said, unless a horde of bandits made away with everything in the next 10 minutes, it made her very disposable. Her boss Edward then took her away like a criminal on death row. His hand was precariously low on her back as he took her into the stockrooms and explained quite slowly that what she had done was ground for termination. The only way to keep her job?

"...can work something out."

"Work something out?" Eden asked curiously.

"Yeah..." Edward curled his hand on her shoulder, reminding her suddenly of the witch in Snow White. 

Do you want an apple my pretty?

She frowned. "How?"

Edward smiled, as though pleased that she was still doubtful of his power in the retail world.

"I can say that it was just an irate customer acting out."

Eden's eyes narrowed. "But there were witnesses." 

Edward smirked and grew bolder, allowing his arm to wrap about her shoulder. 

"I'm the only witness you need."

"Edward, don't you have a girlfriend or something?"

He stiffened. "No, we broke up."

It could have been a lie, but she had no proof. 

"So what is this? You want sex?" she asked blatantly.

He looked at her face and his arm pulled away.

"No, no, nothing like that. To start you know. I'd just like a little...appreciation, if you know what I mean."

She smiled sweetly. 

"I appreciate you very much Edward."

His eyebrows furrowed and he grumbled, "No, no, I mean...um, well..."

Yes, she was going to make him say it. While he tried to find the words to say "Suck my cock" without saying "Suck my cock" she thought about whether she would slap him, or...suck his cock. Her rent was due soon. She couldn't afford to be without a job, and with the Christmas season coming she needed to get her folks really good presents so she could fake how well her life was going. She didn't want to let on to how much of a screw up she was. She already had a giant sticker that said "Hi, I'm 28 with no boyfriend and no kids," stuck on her chest. She didn't need to add homelessness to the mix. 

Would she suck cock for rent? How much was a parent's love worth? In a sick way it made sense. To impress her parents, she decided she would. Oh that reminded her, Edward was still sputtering over how to get the words out.

"...and if you um...scratch my back, well not my back but my...then um, you know I wouldn't mind helping..."

"Sure."

Edward was so surprised his eyes practically popped out of his head. The only thing that could have made him lamer would have been a high-pitched "Really?" as though he were a child who was being told that dinner would be ice cream. Edward was too much of a man's man to allow himself such weakness. With glowering bestial pride he puffed out his chest and gave a quick cough.

"Well okay. Yes, that's good. Now, all we need to do now is have you go out and apologize..."

"What?"

She looked at Edward with unchecked rage. "What do you mean apologize?"

"W-well you have to apologize," he said uncertainly. "It's a given. We have to remedy..."

"Absolutely not." 

Eden was not going to apologize to that woman. She was broke as fuck but she still had her pride. Edward was at a loss of words so she decided to clarify for him.

"I like you Edward, I really do," she lied. "But, I can't suck a dick, and apologize with that dick in my mouth. Do you get it? My mouth is full with the dick, it's one or the other, not both. Okay?"

Edward's brow furrowed. 

"Well it's not like I'm asking you to do it now..."

"It's a metaphor..." 

You moron. 

"...I just don't feel comfortable apologizing to her. Can't you apologize on my behalf?"

Edward looked longingly down at her breasts and she resisted an eye roll. Really, what could a frail man like him do with all of her? She wasn't exactly a 5'7 daisy. And he had girl wrists. 

"Listen baby," he lulled. 

Oh God he's trying to put the Mac Daddy on me.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's not sincere if I say it. Besides, you did curse at a mother and yell at her child. I'll make it up to you I promise."

"With cash?"

"No, um but I can make it up in another way."

"All other ways don't pay my rent."

Edward's eyes squinted and he looked at her startled. 

"Is...is that all this is about? Money?"

Eden wasn't sure what to say. Wasn't that obvious? 

"Um, yes Edward it is. What, you think I'm going to suck your dick because I like it? Are you blackmailing me because you want to cum inside my personality?"

The word blackmail set Edward's self preservation chip into hyper drive. Pervert or not he did not want to go to jail.

"I think we have a misunderstanding," he said firmly. 

Eden could see the faltered resolve in his eyes. He was diving from the deal.

"I didn't mean it like that," Eden protested. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

"I understand."

"Okay, good."

"You're fired Eden."

"What?"

"I said, you're fired."

"Why?"

He said nothing, simply staring behind her. Following his line of vision she saw his boss Noreen had mysteriously appeared around the bend. 

So the jig was up? She looked at the woman's harsh unforgiving mouth and considered how lucrative a sexual harassment case against Edward would be. 

Looking at Noreen she saw she might get a nickel and a pack of cigarettes out of the deal, and Eden didn't smoke.

"Fine," she said lifting her chin up. "And by the way, your toupee's been on backwards since the day you bought it you cheap bastard."

She turned promptly on her heel as he worked to fix it. Another lie, it was on right, it just looked odd on his peanut shaped head.

With the promise of her last check being mailed to her she began walking to her car, her staple gun, tacking hammer, and a box of ribbon, all paid by her in her arms. 

She placed it on the lonely passenger seat of her second hand car and thought about her next move. 

These were tough times for a visual merchandiser. The peak time had died down because most of the major stuff would be up already. Black Friday would announce that it was okay for Jingle Bells to play on an hourly loop. She was supposed to ride out the wave of fixes here or there until December ended, and she'd get transferred somewhere else. 

She was supposed to smile at little kids. 

Gosh what was wrong with her? 

Bitter she started her engine. There was only one place in Iben that would hire a female college dropout who just got fired. 

The Palisades Mall.

Palisades was too damn big. There was so much to choose from that you couldn't find anything. The whole barrage of shoes, handbags, pants, shirts , even stupid things like key chains was insane. One store was devoted to items that claimed to only be available by phone. Another had only sunglasses year round. Eden wanted to cringe.

What hellish realm of nightmarish terror had she entered?

She could hear children and grown women screaming as they fought over Black Friday buys, a man was crawling on the floor trying to inch towards a lawnmower, security personnel were overwhelmed. 

And so was she. 

Thirty minutes into trying to talk to someone, anyone about finding a store that was hiring and she felt like she would faint. She turned to the first door she could and fell right into someone. 

"Hey kid are you alright?"

Her hands clutched at red velvet and she looked up to see an old man with a phony beard dangling at his neck. His eyes were green and he was wearing blush on his cheeks.

"Hey kid? You listening to me?"

"Give me a job."

"What?"

Eden straightened herself up and bowed her head towards the older gentlemen.

"My name is Eden Sawyer. I'm 28 years old, I've worked in retail for 7 years and in visual merchandising for 4. I can decorate your toy shop or your throne or whatever. Please."

The man shook his head. "No kid, you gotta go over to the employment kiosk over by..."

"Please."

Her pleading tone gave him pause. Her big brown eyes looked watery and helpless, something that reminded him of his own daughter.

"Please."

The man gave a sigh. 

"You want a job that badly? You trying to go off the books?"

"By the time they find my application, get my background check, and give me training in this mess, I'll have lost my apartment and failed to make my parents proud. Please."

The Santa rubbed his balding head. His red cap was stuffed in his right hand. 

"Alright, I got one job for ya. Easy money, 10 an hour, but I'm telling you I can't accept anyone with trouble as a middle name."

"It's not."

It's my maiden name.

"Alright then. Then I got one question for you."

"Yes?"

"What's your shoe size?" __________________________________________________

"SANTA!"

Eden forced a grin as she fought the urge to die right on the spot. 

If she wasn't desperate, if she wasn't in danger of choosing between eating or paying back rent...but she was. She was so desperate. That's why she was dressed in a forest green dress with white fur fringe, white stockings with red stripes, pointy green shoes, and a green hat with white fringe as well. 

She had been given the elf name "Gingersnap" and it was written with a swirly G on the white nametag that completed her costume. No, what completed her costume were the white elf ears that she wore around her head. To say she looked odd was in understatement. Her skin was at least 10 shades darker than those damn ears. 

She did feel a bit better though knowing she wasn't the only one. There was an Asian elf that suffered the same fate. 

"Little girl, are you ready to meet Santa?" she said in her least irritated voice. 

Nick, the name of the Santa, was in full incognito, sitting on a gingerbread throne, his thick thighs ready to adorn children.

"I'm a boy!" the kid peeped in a high pitched voice. 

Eden raised an eyebrow and stared down at the kid's long chestnut flowing hair and heart shaped face.

"With that hair?"

The mother behind him didn't look amused. 

She heard Santa cough and saw Nick giving her a death glare.

"...of course you are!" Eden said grinning. "We elves get so confused about humans."

The "boy" laughed and forgave her, while his mother did not. 

What was it about her that rubbed mothers the wrong way? Was that why her boyfriends always broke up with her before they brought her home to the family?

She led the kid past the red and gold rope as other elves tried to make the kids into a line. It was almost impossible, kids kept gushing out of the cracks. So many kids, it was amazing that just a week ago this whole display hadn't existed. Now she not only was in charge of repairing it should it break, but she was Santa's personal elf slave. 

"Santa will see you now," she said smiling at the kid.

Or Santa's secretary, but luckily Nick was happily married with kids her age. He hadn't tried to play any secretary games with her. He hadn't even made jokes about putting her on his lap. She was sure she had at least one of those coming. Now she knew where all the good men were, stuck in the 1960's. 

The old taken bastard.

"You're kind of grumpy for an elf."

She looked to see the source of the voice. It was that guy from the coffee shop, Sean or something. He had come over several times to chastise her. He was over 6 feet of trouble with a pearly white smile and dirty blonde hair. The only good thing about his arrival meant that there would be coffee in the break room.

"Well you know me," she said through a tense smile. "I'm full of sunshine."

He laughed and shook his head. 

"So, when do elves get off of work?"

She looked at the mother who was only looking at her with more disapproval. 

How dare you fraternize and destroy the children's idea of what an elf is like? The idea of making the woman unhappy gave Sean an added 5 minutes from her.

"Elves never get off," she said seriously. "We are enslaved to Santa. Santa will never let us go. Ever." 

"Sounds kind of harsh," he said smirking.

"You're telling me," she said grinning. "Listen hun, you're a really nice guy and you're also very attractive."

His eyes widened. 

"Oh wow. Thank you."

"That's why we're never going to work out."

"Wait, what?" 

She could see he hadn't expected that.

"I'm not the nicest elf in the shop," she said with a grin. "Trust me, you deserve someone a lot nicer."

And not a crazy ho ho ho.

She turned her back on him then and blatantly ignored him. 

"Okay, who's next?"

Screams drowned out his reply, just like she had intended. 

The feminine soft part of her desperately wanted to gather up Sean and take him on a romantic holiday jaunt. It'd be nice to have a nice warm body to hold onto. 

Then she reminded herself that she had had several nice warm bodies just like Sean's to hold onto. They were all like Sean in one way or another. Black, white, in between, they were all very nice until they got her. 

No guy wanted a girl with her issues. Until she fixed herself she would be stuck in the same vicious cycle. Too bad she liked herself just the way she was.

When Santa and his troupe went off to break she took a seat and sighed as relief flooded all the way through her spine. She had been on her feet all day. It was different in retail where you would whizz about and keep active. Stationary standing was made for statuary, not living breathing humans.

"Some kid pulled the gumdrops off the steps again," Erica said in a tired voice.

"Mother..." Eden grumbled before resting her head on the cool surface of the break table. 

Thank God for linoleum. 

"Ah, you're in high spirits."

She heard giggling and repressed a moan. 

It was those two high school kids that were working part time. They thought that just because they had a future they were better than her. 


Christmas in Eden



"Ah, if it isn't Thing One and Things Two," she said smiling at them pleasantly.

The girl was named Diana and the boy was named Martin. Diana was a cheerleader so cheer was second nature to her. At 16 she was on top of the world. Eden was lucky she had bodily insecurities to lobby at her quick wit. Martin was her gay side kick who wasn't accepting of his sexuality. Lucky for him he was graduating this year. With any luck they would lose contact and he would finally become a successful and proud gay individual. Diana's overly religious self didn't help.

"Aw how cute of you to come up with nicknames for us," Diana preened. "We really should return the favor. How about...Grumpy?"

"Or Frumpy?" Martin quipped.

How about your Murderer? 

"Oh those aren't nicknames. If you want nicknames I can give you some," she sneered.

"Oh don't be prickly Eden," Diana said, suddenly lobbying for peace. 

"For someone with such a blessed name, you don't appreciate the small things in life."

"A blessed name?"

"Haven't you ever heard of the Garden of Eden?" Diana said, her eyes glistening with the prospect of a convert.

Eden switched her gaze to Martin. 

"Hey Martin, tell me which items appeal to you more."

"Hey I asked you a question—"

"Two gumdrops pressed together or two candy canes?"

Martin swallowed, unable to hold her gaze. 

"Why are you asking such a stupid question?"

"I'm just making conversation."

"Oh, well I like both," Diana said smiling.

"Me too," Martin grunted.

Erica began to giggle. 

The Asian girl was working this job on top of another job, and going part time to graduate school. Out of all of them, she liked her the best, but she still sort of annoyed her. Her life was just so...together. It almost made her want to go back to school.

"Hey, you kids play nice," Nick said as he strolled in. 

It was required by the mall that he not walk around as Santa. So, behind his throne there was actually a kind of room that he went in to change in. Then he waited until the kids dispersed before coming out. Palisades was very serious about the dreams of children. 

Gosh, sometimes she wishes she was still a kid.

Standing up she decided that elf costume or not she was going to grab a bite to eat.

"I'm going for a burger and fries," she said to Erica. "You want anything?"

Erica shook her head, content with the free coffee and donuts.

"Hey can I have frie..."

"I didn't ask you Diana. Besides, isn't basketball season coming up? You're getting a little..."

Eden made a fat motion and watched in delight as Diana's face scrunched up.

"I forgive you," she spat quite bitterly.

Eden laughed. 

"Why thank you Diana. I'll bring you back a Women's Health Magazine."

Eden walked briskly trying to ignore the stares and pointing. If only she had her coat. Unfortunately by the time she rescued her coat from the locker room her break would be over. 

She passed by the coffee shop and accidently caught eyes with Sean who reached out a hand like he wanted her to wait. Her heart clenched as she bowed her head and walked on. When she got her food she took the long way back and clutched the bag tight to keep her fries warm. 

She was almost there when she bumped into something. Eden stumbled and looked down to see a small child glaring at her. She had knocked him down on his butt.

"Hey are you okay kid?" she asked, genuinely concerned. 

The last thing she needed was to be called out by his mother in front of Nick.

He was wearing an all black jacket and he stared down rubbing his shaggy black hair. His hand refused to budge from his head.

"My hat," he mumbled deeply.

"Hat?" 

She looked around and saw a gray cap lying on the floor a few feet away from them.

She had actually knocked off his hat? She needed to slow down her pace.

Eden picked it up and offered it to him. He snatched it from her and slipped it on in a fluid move. Okay, this kid had no manners.

Sighing she prepared to walk off when she heard a deep voice say, "Wait."

Had Sean caught up to her?

She turned, but all she saw was the kid. She was startled when she got a good look at him. He was a little bigger than she thought. He appeared to be a few inches above her waist in fact. He also stood up very straight, which was odd for a child. His face was pale and resembled porcelain, and his eyes were a very shocking electrified blue. He seemed to be studying her in a way that she found increasingly unnerving.

"Um...are you lost?" she inquired, squirming under the intense gaze.

As though sensing her discomfort his eyes looked to the right of her.

"Santa worshipper, I require your assistance."

Eden's brow furrowed. 

"Um, okay. But I don't worship Santa..."

"I have heard that this location plays host to Santa."

Eden looked just beyond him to see if there was a camera crew. Was she being pranked or something?

"Human!"

Her eyes snapped back to the child. He was glaring at her, no longer interested in sparing her discomfort.

"Please focus. I require an answer."

"Kid, wait...did you just call me human?" Eden asked curiously.

"You are a human aren't you?" he more or less stated, his thin accented eye brows moving with his frown.

"Sure..."

Okay, this was one kid that had fallen one too many times on the playground.

"Well to answer your question yes we do "host" Santa between 10am-2pm and 3pm-7pm. All children must be accompanied by an adult and..."

"I don't have an adult."

That made Eden pause.

"How old are you?"

The kid smirked, his face looking more mature as he did. 

"Old enough. How old are you?"

"Old enough to know when it's time to go," she said sighing. 

She turned on her heel to leave him but froze when she saw he was right in front of her.

"How the hell did you..."

"Where does he appear?"

Eden shook her head in confusion. 

"Um...in the center of the mall, where the four corridors connect. There's this big shop and throne, you can't really miss it."

"And you are sure he is here?" the boy said, stressing every syllable.

Eden rolled her eyes. 

"Kid I'm not dressed as an elf for fun. Besides, you seem pretty smart, aren't you um...a little old for..."

The boy smirked a bit more. "A little old for what?" he asked innocently.

Eden frowned and then side stepped past the kid. He had just eaten up 10 minutes of her time. 

"You know, you're kind of cute."

She looked back at the fresh boy who had addressed her.

"You're really weird," she said, noting the mischievous smile on his face. 

What strange qualities in a little boy. Even so, she noted he was very handsome in a weird sort of way. He'd grow up to be quite the heartbreaker.

When she went back to the break room she tried not to gag when Diana hugged her. Despite her better judgment she had gotten Diana fries. She shared them with Martin and they spoke in hushed tones about how best to fix her. 

"You realize we have very little time before Christmas?" Erica said tiredly.

"Don't remind me," Eden said taking a big bite out of her burger. 

She still had to buy her dad a present. 

Her sister's present would be mailed to her. She was spending the holiday with her boyfriend's family who had decided to vacation in Maui. 

She needed to look up the train fare to get there by at least the 23rd, pay her rent before she left in order to avoid going back to an empty apartment, and send out as many job applications as possible. 

"Are you going home for Christmas?" she asked Erica. 

Erica was originally from Japan.

She shook her head. 

"Can't. Too expensive. I might be able to afford it during January."

Eden nodded. The holidays did a great job of reminding you of what you didn't have.

When it was time to get off Eden was exhausted. No one knew how much work lifting kids from Santa's knees could be. Eriko had been helping kids draft letters to the fat man just to give them something to do so they didn't get angsty on line. Diana and Martin had been trying to keep the order.

"Goodnight," Nick said to all of them.

They waved their goodbyes in accordance. The Mall closed at 8 pm and most of the patrons were gone. Diana and Martin were picked up by Diana's mom and Eriko took a shuttle back to her college campus. 

"Are you sure you don't need me to walk you to your car?" Nick said, his face stern.

"Nick you have arthritis in both knees and you've just been sat on 100 times. Don't worry, worst comes to worst I have a can of mace."

Nick nodded and headed to his car. 

Senior employees got preferred parking, ordinary joes like her had to park around the back. 

"Just do my old heart some good and call me when you're home."

"I'll text you."

"What?"

"I'll text you!"

"...What?"

"...I'll call you."

"Okay."

Bringing her bright red jacket close to her body she walked quickly, dodging the whipping wind. Strands of her hair struck at her face like a whips and she walked faster. The parking lot lights were on full beam, and she could see others with their heads down trying to make it to their cars. With a click her car was open.

Sighing in relief she slipped in only to yelp when the passenger door opened and a figure slid in. She was about to scream when the doors were suddenly locked and the scream was suddenly trapped in her throat. Reaching around for her mace the lights on her car sparked on.

"You lied to me!"

She turned and saw the deep voiced little kid sitting in her passenger seat. The mace was in her hand and she stared at him in shock.

"I nearly maced a 7 year old..."

"I'm not seven!"

"What the hell are you doing in my car?" she shouted, logic coming back to her in a flood.

"Are you crazy? Are you trying to send my ass to jail? I don't need my plates on Amber Alert you little cretin!"

"I wouldn't be here if you knew what the fuck you were talking about," he snarled.

The curse curtailed her rant and he was allowed to continue.

"You told me the fat man was here! It was between this place and another and I stayed because of what you said. I missed him! Do you know what that means?"

"What the hell are you talking about you sociopath waiting to happen," Eden said exasperatedly.

"Santa was here. I've been working with him all day."

"Not that old guy you were messing with, the real Santa," the kid said, his eyes glaring holes into her skull.

He let out a sigh and held his head. 

"Shit...this is what I get for trusting a human."

Eden's jaw dropped. She had no idea what to say except,

"Get out of my car."

The kid ignored her so she shouted it. 

"Get out of my car!"

"Where am I going to stay?" the kid shouted gruffly.

"How the fuck should I know? Go back to where you came from!"

His glare intensified. 

"That's what I was trying to do, but a stupid little bitch gave me crappy advice!"

Eden stared at him and started to look for her cellphone.

The boy gave a long sigh as he watched her dig.

"What are you doing?"

"Get out. Right now or I'm calling the cops." 

"On me?"

"I'll call the cops on a kid. Someone will come to pick your little ass up."

She heard him sigh again and suddenly her cellphone floated out of her hand and into his. Her eyes went wide and she reached to snatch it back but he held it out of her reach.

"Fricken Houdini brat! Kid if you don't stop this...!"

"First of all I'm not a brat, my name is Adrian," he interrupted calmly. "Secondly I am not a child. I'm older than you, your parents, and your future kids all put together. Now that that's out of the way..."

She watched as he took off his hat. Eden watched him comb his messy hair out of his face and watched two thin point ears slip into view. 

Pointy ears...his ears were pointy.

"I've heard of this," she said, sounding more at peace than she was. "It's a disease, I think they call it prevalence..."

"Woman I just took your phone with my mind!" he shouted.

"But how?" she shouted back, feeling oddly hysterical.

"Magic! It's obvious. I'm an elf Eden, an elf."

Eden scrambled for the door. She needed to get out.

"How do you know my name? Is this some kind of sick joke? I swear to God..." 

"Eden..."

"Why won't this fucking door open?"

"Eden."

"What?"

When she looked back at him his gaze seemed like its own living entity. It wrapped around her and forced her to focus.

"I want you to listen very carefully," he said in a soothing low voice.

"You're going to drive home now. Take your time. For the next week or so until Christmas Eve I will be your new roommate. When Santa makes his run I'll be sure to be out of your hair by then and you will never have to see me again. Crystal?"

Eden was about to nod but forced herself not to.

"No...No! Why should I take you with me?"

"Because it's your fault that I'm stuck her," he said snappily. "Be lucky I don't just force you to do it. I could you know. I don't eat much and I can fend for myself alright? So make up your mind because I'm not letting you out of this car until we reach an agreement."

Eden scoffed and started to reach in her backseat. She had a tire iron somewhere.

"You think I won't break my windows?" she said laughing mockingly.

"Well that's one way to lose your job," Adrian quipped. "Because for the past 15 minutes all people have been seeing is you talking to yourself."

"So what you're saying is that you're a figment of my imagination."

"I'm saying that I have magic growing out of my ass and I could make this car invisible if I wanted. You catch my drift."

Eden was tired. She was now obviously crazy, but she was more so tired and hungry.

"Fuck it. Hand me my keys," she said sighing.

He placed them in her hand and she started the car. Adrian placed his seatbelt on and she turned on the radio before backing out of the parking lot. She drove with her head faced forward. Her eyes were glued on the road. The closer she got to home the more she felt hope that when she arrived there, her passenger seat would be empty. It would just be her having a moment, and she could learn from it in the future.

When she parked in her designated space she reluctantly turned her eyes to her right. Empty and beautiful just like Diana's head. She was about to smile when a knock on her window made her scream.

"Satisfied?" Adrian asked, a smirk on his face. 

He stepped back from the car and watched as she glared venomously at him as she stomped towards her apartment complex. She opened the door and closed it behind her, not bothering to see if he got in. Tossing her shoes and coat on the floor she headed straight to the kitchen and grabbed a microwavable dinner and stabbed holes into the top with a fork. Tossing it in, she sprawled on her couch, groaning as the night's events caught up to her. She felt the weight on her couch shift and Eden looked to the side of her. Adrian hadn't taken off anything.

"Take your shoes off. This is my house you know," she snapped.

He looked at her passively before going to the door and taking of his shoes. With a wave of his hand as he passed by her coat was hung up on the hook that he couldn't reach, and his coat joined it as well. As he walked back towards her she frowned.

"Hey...did you get taller?"

"Probably," he said yawning. "My guise might have worn off a bit. Kids have such little bodies."

He was in fact longer now, it was odd though to see the heart shaped face on a longer body. The proportions looked off.

"Your face..."

He rolled his eyes and his face lengthened to the right proportion. 

"It's as if you care Eden," he said snippily. "Is that meal in your microwave for me? Or are you being selfish?"

"You saw where I got them from. Go get yourself one. You have longer legs now it's a shorter distance."

"Cheh."

He walked towards the fridge and she noted that minus the elf ears he could now pass for a short adult. He was about 5'3, 5'4. She noted that for an elf he had a pretty toned ass. She heard him chuckled and her eyes widened.

"Can you read my mind?" she shrieked angrily.

"Not your mind," he said, shuffling through her food. He didn't seem to like her pasta products.

"Just your face," he said, turning briefly to raise an eyebrow at her.

"You weren't even facing me," Eden protested.

"Elves have eyes in the back of their head. By the way, I hope you expect to cook tomorrow." He poked holes into the dish he had chosen with a clear look of contempt.

"I wasn't exactly expecting company," she snarled. "Besides part of me still thinks you're not real."

"Oh really?" he mused. 

The microwave beeped and the door opened of its own accord. The fork she had used and the dish floated gracefully to the coffee table in front of her. As he walked towards her his food went in and the microwave started. His eyes dared her to comment.

"Yes," she said, grabbing his bait. 

"I could have walked and put that stuff in the microwave. I could be about to eat two meals and my subconscious is justifying that by having a fricken elf eat half of my abnormally large portion."

"Right."

"Right! There's nothing that proves..."

Her voice was halted when a pair of warm lips covered hers. 

They were full and inviting and she was too shocked to refuse them. She felt fingers curl around the back of her head and the kiss was secured. Adrian tasted of freshly baked sugar cookies and smelled of ginger. She could feel herself melting against him when she felt his hand on her thigh. The sudden move broke the spell and she tore away from him.

"Was that real?" he asked huskily.

She answered by slapping him. His head snapped to the side and he touched the cheek that was beginning to redden gingerly.

"Ow."

"Fresh bastard," Eden grumbled. 

She pulled the wrapper off of her lasagna and began to shovel its molten contents into her mouth.

"Am I supposed to deserve that?" he asked as the microwave beeped. 

As he stood she got a whiff of vanilla. What was with this guy?

"Didn't Santa teach you it was rude to stick your tongue down a girl's throat?"

"I didn't get there yet."

"You're an elf! You'll never get there!"

He picked up his dish and closed the microwave relatively hard.

"What's wrong with elves?"

"Don't start that "what's wrong" bull on me okay?" Eden exclaimed irritated.

"No, why don't you tell me?" he said sitting beside her. 

The clipped tone he used suggested she had hurt his feelings.

"I don't date short guys," she said firmly. "Elf or not. It's just weirder than you're an elf. You were a kid an hour ago remember?"

"You didn't seem to mind short guys a minute ago," he totted, his intense gaze fixed upon her. "In fact I don't think you minded me much at all."

"You tried to put your hand up my dress."

"I moved too quickly, it was my fault," he said, his face serious. "I'm out of practice. I'll get better."

"...you can't be serious," Eden gaped. "You're an elf. You're supposed to be making presents and schlepping milk and cookies. Not..."

"I'm older than you Eden," he said grumpily. "What you think elves don't have sex? Polar bears have sex, reindeers have sex, and Santa? That big old bastard..."

"Ew! No! Stop!"

"...pounds the daylights..."

"HEY! I said STOP!"

"...out of Mrs. Claus like she stole money from him."

Eden set down her plate, her appetite now ruined.

"Thanks. You've not only ruined my meal but you've ruined Christmas. Good night Adrian."

Eden stood up and proceeded to walk to her room where he door would be locked. Before she did she grabbed a sheet and a pillow and tossed them on the couch.

"When was the last time you had sex Eden?"

"Go to hell you little worm."

"That long huh?"




Christmas in Eden



She locked her door and braced a chair against the knob. If there was any decency in the world she would find that she had had a mental breakdown of some kind. When she woke up she would be alone, fatter, and content with her self-imposed celibacy. Even so, she couldn't help but remember Adrian's touch. Before he had gotten fresh the kiss had been...nice, but if she found so much as a toe of his with her that night she would hang his elven ass out the window.

She hoped that if he was watching her face would clearly express that. __________________________________________________ Chapter Two: Rent

Eden dragged herself in the door, laden down with bags of potential presents. Among them were her groceries, toiletries, and a few other items she probably hadn't needed. Peer pressure as a bitch when it was induced by yourself. She tossed the bags down, the lines where the handles had dug into her wrists throbbing. What complete ass had invented twine handles?

She heard a telltale crunching in her kitchen. 

"How was work?"

Eden gritted her teeth and forced her feet forward. Please, please, please, shit!

Just like that first day after his arrival and every day since then, Adrian continued to exist in the physical plain. Part of her was hoping she had gone batty and could just ignore the guy, but when a neighbor had seen the little white boy staying at her house she had had to explain. It had been some mix of a friend who was a sick mother, babysitting and picking him up before Christmas.

Complete malarkey, but really she had neighbors who were too damned nosy. This would be her second week with her house guest. 

She faced Adrian angrily as he perched like a little prince on the cupboard in her kitchen.

"You look like shit," he stated, taking another bite into an apple. 

It was probably her last apple. Adrian ate like a monster and never lifted a finger to try to help her cook. He was content on complaining when she ordered take-out instead of firing up the stove.

"Gee, thanks," she said sardonically. "Is that your dinner?"

"Appetizer," he said, finishing off the lush apple with a series of snapping bites. 

The speed at which he gobbled made her wince.

"You can take your time to fresh up or whatever," he mumbled through his full mouth. "You look like you need it."

"Oh, don't fret on my account," Eden said giving him a crooked Grinch-like smile. 

"I'll make it right now." 

She walked to her fridge as he watched her with an aloof expression and pulled out her quart of milk.

"Ah, making linguini?" he quipped. 

She didn't answer as she pulled a bowl from a shelf and placed it down. A box of Raisin Bran lay innocently beside her sugar jar. She ripped the top open and proceeded to dump the contents into the bowl. Pouring the milk inside she stuck a spoon in and roughly slid it towards Adrian. 

The milk churned out of the sides, spilling clumsily on the counter.

"There. Dinner is served!"

She stalked away and heard a loud, "What the hell?" aimed at her back. 

Eden made it to the door this time. Her hands froze as Adrian's magic stopped her in her tracks and she heard his angry steps towards her. Furious she faced him.

"Let me go. Now!"

"I want to know what your problem is," he snapped.

"I just had a full day of work! I had to buy crap during my breaks!"

She pointed a finger accusingly at him. 

"I haven't sat down all day and here I find you sprawled on your ass eating my food, making demands on me, like I'm your damn slave!"

"I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you!" Adrian seethed, his eyes turning to slits.

"Besides, this is Christmas time. This is the first time in a century I've sat on my ass during the holidays."

"Oh cry me a river," Eden scoffed. "You don't pay any rent, you don't cook any meals, and I don't owe you any favors. The only thing keeping you here are all your little dirty elf tricks. If I could swing on you I'd have knocked your ass out already."

Adrian shook his head. "To think I ever was attracted to you. This is why you're alone. There's a long stick shoved up your..."

"What would you know about long sticks shortie?"

Apparently her comment had shocked Adrian so much that his hold on his magic lapsed. He was slack jawed, even as she closed the door in his face and locked it.

"Enjoy dinner without me your free loader!" Eden yelled, banging the door. 

She didn't hear a response as she headed to her bathroom. Filling the bathtub with steaming water she tossed her clothing off and slipped inside the blissful depths. 

Oh thank goodness, she was sure she was going to die. 

Part of her wondered how she had gotten home. Christmas was really an awful holiday. Agitated she decided to relieve some stress. Sticking her hand beneath the cloudy water she silently parted her legs. The hot water rushed towards her thighs, heating up her groin like a lover's touch. She slipped a finger inside of herself, gently swirling the water about as she made little circles. 

Eden let out a sigh of relief. Oh yeah, this was what she needed. 

Licking her steamy lips she placed the other hand on her breast and began to pinch the nipple until it became hard. She inhaled, rubbing her clit, the water splashing as her pace increased. Just a little more, a little more. She arched her back, readying for the barrage of sensation. 

Yes, yes...she was—

A loud crash in the kitchen shook her reserve. 

What the hell was that? 

Her arousal was forgotten as she imagined the worst. 

Jumping up she wrapped herself in her robe and padded with wet feet towards the door. Flinging it open she saw Adrian standing over what used to be a bowl of cereal. The bowl was smashed into a million pieces, the mush of the uneaten cereal splattered along the floor. When Adrian sensed her presence he looked back at her.

"What? This would have never happened if you hadn't given me cereal."

Eden's eyes widened. 

"Are you kidding me right now? Is that what you really think?"

She tried to find the words, any words to define her indignation but none came. She could only make sounds that started nothing and smacked of rage. When she found her voice she was beside herself.

"You're worse than me...Are you crazy?" she screamed. 

"You claim to be centuries old and you can't even fess up to a simple thing like accidentally breaking a bowl?"

Magic or not she had had it. Stalking up to Adrian she poked him hard in the chest, his brow furrowing in disdain. 

"You blame me for this mess, you blame me for dinner, but you're so lazy and righteous that you can't even see that you could have made dinner! You're getting a free ride here, and you can't even pick up a skillet! And you know what? You're so fucking miserable I bet you didn't just miss Santa, that fat bastard left you!"

Eden huffed and puffed after her tirade. 

Adrian looked at her with an unreadable expression. Most of him was highly offended that this puny little piece of human had spoken to him in that way. Did she have any idea as to the fantastical powers that lay within him? He could turn her into a puppy if he wanted. 

Still, he couldn't help but feel that part of her way right. Granted Eden liked to complain a lot and wasn't a ray of sunshine, but he hadn't been one either. And there was another thing. In the middle of her insults her robe had begun to lapse open until he could see the tops of her full breasts. He couldn't remember the last time he had touched breasts that full. 

Elven women could have large breasts, but those were usually the bawdy ones who kept practical harems because their endowments gave them considerable leverage. He wasn't wrong, mad or not Eden was very attractive.

"You're right," he said passively. "I should start paying my dues."

Her look of utter shock nearly made him laugh. 

"Are you being serious?"

He smirked and snapped his fingers. Eden yelped when she was suddenly lifted up and plopped on her couch. 

Adrian waltzed up to her immobilized form, watching her squirm angrily at her disobeying appendages.

"You know Eden, I know the perfect way to start paying rent." 

He took her hand and kissed it, inhaling her scent. 

"I believe you gave me the idea," he said smirking at her evilly. 

Yes he knew she was masturbating and yes that might have pissed him off a little. She made fun of his manhood, and then disregarded his male prowess enough to rely on her fingers when his had been fingering clits for centuries?

"This is bullshit Adrian!" Eden growled. "You stop right now!"

"Don't worry," he responded, trailing a hand down her cheek. "You're in good hands."

"I don't fuck Santa's kids," she spat desperately trying to twist from his grip.

"I don't see you having much choice in the matter," Adrian mused, slowly loosening the knot that kept her robe in place.

Finding this to be a battle she couldn't win only made her more venomous.

"Your ears freak me out and your eyes are too big for your head! You look like a fucking Furby!"

"Really Eden do we have to go there?"

"You keep your pencil dick away..."

"Whoa whoa whoa," Adrian said making a horizontal motion in front of her face. 

Now she couldn't speak, her lips were zipped shut. 

"You don't know what I'm packing, so I suggest you keep your mouth shut on that one. Not that you have any choice of course."

With the knot undone Eden whined as he pushed the robe down her shoulders. She sat exposed to him, her damp breasts hanging above his head. She grunted in horror as he climbed onto her lap.

You short, mini- me bastard! When I get my hands on you I will tear...

Her breath caught when he stroked her hair back from her face and traced his thumb along her lips. His icy blue eyes were intense but gently and he offered her a small smile.

"You really are beautiful Eden."

She resisted the flutter her heart made at the compliment. She wanted to glare at him but he ducked his head down and planted soft kisses on her neck. Nipping at place between her neck and shoulder her breath hitched when he sucked on it. 

That felt nice.

Holding her shoulders he stroked her arms and trailed his lips along her collarbone to the other side of her neck where he repeated the treatment. Gently tilting her head back he rose and captured her in a scorching kiss that made her curl her toes. 

So she could curl her toes but she couldn't move them? 

He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she didn't resist, unsure if she could or wanted to. She was still horny from the bath tub and Adrian was hitting all the right keys. 

His kiss was a seductive dance as he made her want him, made her admit that she wanted him to "pay" his rent in this way. She shivered as his lips left hers and trailed down her throat to her breasts. His hands closed over them and he held them in his hands without moving. He savored their weight and shape, the womanly body she had been blessed with was made for this. Unable to hold himself back from her heaving chest he licked his tongue out at a nipple. She jumped in his grasp her mouth motioning a sound. Curious he pulled the veil that closed her mouth off. 

She didn't seem to notice as he began sucking on the nipple, grazing it with his teeth and rubbing the other until that nipple went stiff and hard. He squeezed her breast burying his head against them and switched breasts. 

Eden's eyes fluttered as Adrian's tongue and lips worked wonders on her. It felt like biting and sucking and licking and pulling all at the same time. He worked his magic on her and she let out a moan. 

Oh so she couldn't speak but now she could moan? 

That crusty midget basta...

Sensing her distress he let a hand wander down between her legs. His fingers brushed her opening and he pulled his mouth from her breast with a pop.

"You know, for an unwilling participant you're pretty wet."

She glared at him as he added, "And it's not from your bath."

He teased her pussy lips with infinite patience never straying from the circles her drew around her clit and outside her opening. She waited for him to touch where she wanted but he didn't, only making her wetter and wetter, keeping her halfway up the mountain she wanted to climb.

"You look frustrated," he lulled, pinching a nipple. Her skin was warm and smooth, she was beginning to tremble. His eyes became slits as his own arousal crept up on him like a spider. 

"Go ahead, talk," he said motioning that the zipper had been opened.

She leaned forward struggling to bring her arms with her so she could strike him.

"With your mouth," he suggested, putting his finger on her clit. She drew in a sharp intake of breath but with a smile he moved his finger away.

"Tease!" she hissed.

"You don't want me to tease you?" Adrian asked coyly. 

She shivered at his question. 

"Are you done?" she asked instead, refusing to acknowledge that he was actually great at foreplay. 

"What's your rush?" 

He flicked her clit again and she shouted in anger.

"You probably couldn't make me cum anyway!"

He tilted his head and she watched him get off of her lap. So she had finally pushed him away. Disappointment reared its ugly head, and then surprise when her legs were sudden pulled into the air. 

Her eyes widened when she saw his dark look, his hands underneath her knees. 

"Well then," he said calmly. "Let's see shall we?"

Dripping his head down his tongue trailed along her clit. Eden exhaled shakily, not believing how much her nerve ending were on fire. All that gentle frustration had built her up on a higher mountain than she was accustomed. 

She jerked, crying out as he lapped at her sobbing pussy.

"Oh God...oh God...oh God..." she chanted over and over, unable to believe that Adrian was causing her to feel this way. 

He said nothing, expecting this reaction from her. He held a firm lock on her legs as they flailed helplessly in the air. Her fingers dug into her couch. Smiling he pushed a finger inside of her and felt her immediately tighten around him. He moved it back and forth easily, enjoying the silky feel of the inside of her. 

It would be easy to undo his pants and force his dick inside of her until she screamed his name. He twisted his finger and lifted her thigh higher to hit another angle inside of her. 

She shrieked as she came and he licked her clit diligently. It would be easy, too easy to make her a sex crazed lunatic. He knew too much about the female body, had explored every facet and method to its entirety. Elves had a lot of sex, Eden didn't stand a chance. Still, as she shook beneath him she was very charming, and a portion of that charm came from her sour personality. 

People were too fucking happy in the North Pole. He added another finger that she clamped onto and pumped inside of her at a faster pace. Eden came again, stars clouding her vision. 

Death by elf, that would be a new one. But goodness gracious what a way to go. This was incredible, she wanted him to fuck her. This was just the foreplay. If he fucked her, pencil dick or no she'd probably shatter into a million cumming pieces. 

When a third orgasm hit her she was prepared to tell Adrian that she'd cook him anything he ever wanted always. 

Seeing the goofy grin on her face made him laugh and he waited for her to come down before he pulled away from her. With a wave of his hand her robe was redone. He could tell she wouldn't be able to move because of the force of the orgasms he had given her. With relative ease he picked her up and the door opened of its own volition.

"You're pretty strong," she mumbled dizzily.

"Presents are pretty heavy. I mean it's elves that get the world's presents on Santa's sleigh. Course we divide it by country by even if you go by state it's still a ton."

"So...I'm not heavy..." she mumbled. 

Wow, she felt drunk.

He proved his point by holding her whole body in one arm while pulling back her covers with the other. Placing her on the bed she frowned when he tucked her in.

"You're...not going to fuck me?" she whined. 

Adrian chuckled. "There's always next week's rent."

She closed her eyes for a second and was gone to the world. Adrian left, shaking his head. Women, he'd never understand them until his dying day. __________________________________________________

Chapter 3: Main Course

Eden had been on high alert since the day Adrian had made her cum in triplicate. Part of her was mortified that she had let him get his freakishly long child sized fingers into her hoo-ha, but if she was being honest she was more mortified by the fact that she wanted more. 

Each day since then she had found that the fridge was stocked and clean, and Adrian was nowhere to be found. She cooked dinner, set his share aside and he appeared eat it before disappearing again. Part of her was happy to have her space back. 

It was nice to get to relax and think about her priorities like work and her parents li...

Oh...fuck it who was she kidding? 

She was lusting after that short cocky bastard like a dog after a bone. Oh and she was dog who wanted a bone. A filthy slutty bitch who wanted him to jam his hard little...

The door to her apartment opened and Adrian gave her an odd look.

"What are you doing?"

She returned the look. "What?"

"You've been standing outside your door for ten minutes."

Her eyes widened. "I, um...I was t-trying to find my keys."

He gave her a disbelieving look. 

"...Okay."

Turning away he walked towards the kitchen while she admired him. You know, she had never noticed before but Adrian had a tight little ass. His arms were lean, but they hid small muscles. They were wiry and long though, the proportions still off when it concerned the rest of his body. She must have been a fool to ever mistake him for a human, let alone a child. 

"I'm making dinner so freshen up," he said heading towards the kitchen. 

The smell of delicious food suddenly hit her and she was confused. 

He was cooking? For her? There was a man cooking for her in her kitchen and she hadn't even fucked him yet? 

Actually he was an elf so that made more sense, she realized. Elves liked to do that crap. Leave them alone for two seconds and you'd have a new pair of shoes. Though, Adrian had been a bit lazy to start off with. With a new week under their belt, the question that caused her the most anxiety was when he was planning on... paying the "rent." 

Maybe he needed a little persuasion. Heading to her room she managed a quick shower and let her revived hair down. Slipping on a short silk nightgown she put on her robe and left it open. Opening her door she rested her hands against the frame like an aspiring movie star and pursed her lips. 

"What's for dinner?" she said seductively.

Adrian glanced up briefly from the oven. 

"I made a honey roasted turkey with mashed potatoes, and a cinnamon apple tartar for dessert."

He focused on floating the turkey onto the top of the oven and watched back and forth from the thermometer nervously. 

"Should be good," he commented, examining the skin of the turkey. It was a golden brown. He had done better, but he had done his best with what he had. 

Eden had a crap oven and besides, she was shoveller, not a taster anyway. Offended he hadn't even properly looked at her the tips of her breasts jutting out in this sheer nightgown Eden tossed the robe away and strode over to him.

"I can't wait," she said putting her hands on her hips.

"Are you hungry now?" he said looking up at her. 

He took in her garment passively. 

"I dunno," she said licking her lips nonchalantly. She cocked her hip and narrowed her eyes.

"Are you" she said in a breathy voice. 




Christmas in Eden



He shrugged. "I can wait."

Then he turned his back on her and transferred the mashed potatoes into a bowl. 

He could sense her burning up with rage behind him. 

What was her problem? He finally cooked her the dinner she had been nagging him for and she hadn't even managed a thank you. Instead she was standing half naked with a snarl on her face.

"Look Eden," he said raising an eyebrow. "If you want to just go out and say what you want now's the time. This little sexy "hints" thing you're doing is just a waste okay?"

She glared at him like he had just told her to go to hell.

He had just told her to go to hell. 

He had practically told her that he didn't care what her body had to offer because his old ass had been around the block and she was trash that could burn in the incinerator that was hell. 

That pointy eared degenerate.

"Santa Claus hates you," she spat.

"What?"

"I said Santa would take a piss on your grave Adrian. And it'd be a stronger piss than you'd ever manage with your pinky dick..."

"Don't talk about my dick—"

"With your tiny ass raptor arms..."

"Where is this coming from?"

"...and your satellite dishes!"

Stepping forward she dipped a finger in the potatoes and put it in her mouth. She spat on the floor.

"This tastes like crap."

Then she stalked to her room door.

"And you have a tiny..."

"Eden, stop it," Adrian said in a warning voice. 

She was actually making him angry and the dick comments were going to get ugly if she didn't stop.

"...brain," she finished sweetly. 

She stepped in her room and smiled. "Oh and by the way, that's probably why you didn't fuck me. You knew I'd only feel your fingers!"

Slamming the door closed she headed towards her bed when the door burst open. 

The hair around Adrian's hair was actually floating and his eyes were practically glowing with rage.

"Yeah?" he said eerily calm. 

She was thrown onto her bed and her nightgown was ripped from her body. Frozen on her stomach she stared wide eyed as he unbuttoned his pants.

"I made you a turkey," he seethed tossing his pants to the side. She craned her head to see what he was packing but he forced her to look forward.

"Oh no I don't want you to see it," he said getting up on the bed. 

"I want you to feel it." 

He stuck a finger inside of her and a tingling sensation spread like fire in her pussy. Bucking her hips she moaned when it spread to her clit, up her stomach, to be breasts until she felt she was embracing one big vibrator. His magic was obviously getting her ready.

"See apparently that nice attitude you had for those couple of days wore off because I'm due to pay you rent," he said lifting her onto her knees. 

Her butt jutted in the air and she left him spread her wet pussy lips. The hot head of his cock rested against them.

"I made you a nice dinner, I was going to wine and dine you but no. You come at me two loops short of a bow. So instead of taking my time like I wanted..." he said rubbing up and down, coating the head of his dick with her juices.

"I'm just going to fuck you like the bitch you're being."

When he thrusted forward Eden screamed, shocked by what she was feeling. 

Thick, goodness he was thick. She hadn't felt that stretched in her life. As he pressed forward into her she realized he was long too. 

She couldn't have been more wrong about his undercarriage. He threatened to tear her apart. When he hit her hot spot she didn't feel the meet of his hips. 

"Gosh it has been a while for you hasn't it?" he hissed. "You're really tight."

She couldn't respond, her drooling mouth and pussy responding for her. 

Pulling out he began to push in and out in a steady and increasing rhytmn. He got a thrill out of making her yelp when he thrusted into her and would vary his speeds whenever it pleased him.

"Yeah, squeeze me Eden. What do you want for Christmas huh? You want to sit on my lap while I pick your pretty ass a present?"

She moaned wantonly in response. Now Adrian had expected her to enjoy his fucking, but he didn't expect her to be so eager. Releasing her hips he noticed for the first time that she was thrusting back. 

"You set me up," he said incredulously. "600 years and I still can't take a hint."

Unable to conceal his pride he beamed at her, thrusting even as he turned her head towards him. 

"You wanted me to pound your present didn't you?"

Eden panted and tried to free herself from his grip. Her pussy was melting underneath his expertise. 

"Eden?"

"Your Christmas references are overbearing and lame."

"Well then, I guess I'll stop."

"Don't you dare!" "Then say you wanted me to fuck you!" "I WANTED YOU TO FUCK ME SHERLOCK! I WALKED AROUND LIKE A CHICAGO REJECT IN MY BATHROBE AND YOU DIDN"T EVEN NOTICE! WHAT AM I CHOPPED LIVER?"

The scream had been shrill and desperate, something Eden never liked to admit was part of her. 

She felt a kiss on her back as Adrian slowed, reaching around to fondle her breasts.

"All you had to do was ask sweetheart."

"You are one depraved elf," she mused as he stroked within her.

"Yeah yeah," he chuckled. "Lay your hands down, and relax. I'm going to make you go crazy."

"Yeah? You're 28 years too late."

She obeyed, giving him the deeper angle he craved. Eden felt like heaven and she shrieked like a banshee as he shoved all of himself within her, his hips smacking against her bottom over and over. 

He spanked her, watching his dick disappear into her pink pussy.

"Aw, you feel divine," he moaned as he thrusted. "Is that why you were named Eden? Did your mom know something we didn't?"

"That I would be fucked by an elf?"

"That I would cum in a pussy that felt heavenly."

She didn't dare protest, her orgasm so close she could taste it. He smacked her butt again, a playful pat as he drove her into the creaking mattress. Reaching under her he pinched her clit. 

Instead of screaming Eden saw white and lost her voice. 

Shaking like she was having a seizure she faintly felt Adrian empty himself inside of her. Even that felt good. She became a giant O, floating above her human body to a plain of greater pleasure. When she came down she was sensitive and knew the slightest touch could bring her back over. So did Adrian. 

Smiling he placed her on her back and entered her again.

She came immediately. He waited until it abated to thrust again. 

"You're not soft?" she rasped her throat parched. 

A glass of water floated through the door. She accepted it gratefully. 

"Elves don't' go flaccid until their 3rd or 4th go. We do a lot of orgy stuff. I could if I wanted, but I think you want more right?" 

She nodded, sore or not she did. Fuck work, she needed this. 

"I thought you didn't fuck short guys," Adrian teased.

"You're not a guy," she simpered. "You're an elf. Elves don't count."

"Uh huh," he hummed, putting an arm around her. 

"So...you didn't hate my mashed potatoes?"

"They were the best mashed potatoes I have ever eaten."

He laughed in response. "Alright. I'll bring you a plate."

He quicken his pace tossing her over to the side again. As soon as she had cum he pulled out of her. His cock was slick with her juices and she got a good look at what had been inside her. Damn, it looked like her remote control. The one that went with the TV not the one that came with the box.

..Damn.

Eden gave him a lazy smile. "You know, you're not so bad Adrian."

"You're not so bad yourself," he replied smirking. "I hope you're up for round three."

"You're kidding me."

"You started it," he quipped. "I'm not sated."

"Great. So now I'm a shoddy lay."

"Elves take longer to cum. You should be grateful. Don't worry," he chuckled. "You'll get used to it." Then he walked off.

"This is going to be one hell of a Christmas," she said to herself.

She perved Adrian's naked form as he disappeared into the other room.

Who'd have thought she'd fuck an elf. Santa was probably laughing at her somewhere. The fat bastard did see everything. Yawning she wondered if she'd be asleep before Adrian brought her food to her. 

The last few weeks had been weird. 

She had been fired, saddled with an elf, forcibly sucked by said elf, then goaded said elf into fucking her. 

Either she was a loosely wrapped present, or her life would never be the same. Even so, she felt too good to feel negative. 

She had no where to go but up. 

Her life had ended on Black Friday, but maybe just maybe it would start again on Christmas Eve. Just maybe, Adrian would be the one guy to fix her up. Well, until he went back to the fat man. Eden wasn't too discouraged. She had hope. That was what she needed. She had forgotten why Christmas had meant so much to her in the past and why it sucked now. Christmas was nothing without hope. Hope of new beginnings and of course the soppy Christmas "miracle." Eden now had a smidge of hope to carry her through. That or the euphoria of the orgasm was getting to her. 

"Hurry up Adrian!" she shouted.

"I'm getting cynical!"

"I'm coming," he shouted back.

"You will," she whispered to herself.

"I'll make sure of it."

__________________________________________________

HAPPY HOLIDAYS:P

-Stubborn Dreamer