1 comments/ 9424 views/ 1 favorites Just Friends Ch. 01 By: CuriousFantasyWriter "Do you have a webcam?" The last time I'd used my webcam Dennis had caught me. I glanced at the clock, 10:30 p.m. He'd still be playing Dungeons and Dragons for another hour at least. I hoped. "Yeah, but..." "Great! Do you have Skype installed yet? We can video chat. Please? I really want to see you." I wanted to see him too, especially since we'd started planning to meet each other earlier that day. "Well, um. Okay, but..." "I'll meet you online then. Can't wait to see you beautiful." Click. The phone went dead in my ear. "My husband could come home anytime," I finished to myself. I stared at the cell phone in my hand and wondered what I'd gotten myself into. Tony White excited me, made me feel special. I could do this. Why not? That's why I'd created the Facebook account my husband knew nothing about; to have some fun and express myself in ways he'd never approve of. I opened the purple laptop and pressed the button to bring it to life then skidded into the bathroom to stare at myself in the mirror. My heart pounded a loud rhythm in my chest and I pressed a hand to the space between my breasts. Maybe I should put a bra on? I wondered. The oversized college sweatshirt and worn out sweats were bad enough, at least I could brush my hair. My hand shook as I reached for the brush and it almost fell to the floor. Get a grip, girl. It's just a webcam. I needed to hurry. He'd be waiting for me online by now. With my mind racing I returned to the dining room table where my computer sat like a silent partner in crime. I never suspected I'd wind up on camera with my best friend's internet boyfriend when I'd accepted his friend request. Shannon found it amusing to toy with men online, treating them like playthings for her own personal amusement. But she'd been just the type of person I'd been looking for when I created my secret account. I'd wanted to meet someone outrageous and wild with no shame, and no morals; that was Shannon Randolf. We were a bit like Thelma and Louise online. I'd let men play me all my life. I needed to turn the tables and learn to play men the way she did. I wanted to have fun. Take control. But when Tony's chat message flashed at the bottom of my computer screen everything changed. Shannon posted pictures of herself getting ready for a hot night out on the town, and bragged about getting laid the next morning to everyone on her friends list. Even someone like me, new and inexperienced with the social networks online knew the difference between an online boyfriend and a real life one. Tony and Shannon were online only, but he'd sent her money and gifts. He'd been willing to move he confided when he shared his pain with me during that first late night chat online. She lived in the Midwest and he came from a small farming town on the west coast. I knew Shannon would never seriously consider a real relationship with Tony. He wasn't black. Shannon only dated black men, and she'd been hoping for a proposal from her live in boyfriend. That made Tony fair game. Tony's text on Mother's day shocked me however: I can't stop thinking about you. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met and I want to see you. Remembering my response to him still brought a smile to my face. I think you sent me a text meant for Shannon. Then his response: No I meant to send it to you. To hell with Shannon! She's a manipulative bitch. I want YOU. Let's see if he still wants me after seeing me live on webcam, I decided while punching in the password to bring my internet connection online. His smile did something funny to the inside of me. For the first time, I looked into his green eyes. They were warm, inviting and sensual. He sat on a bed with pillows propped up behind him. I didn't know what to say. Say something, damn it. "Hello Elle." His grin deepened into a wide smile. "Hello Tony," I giggled, then silently cursed myself for it. "Are you alone?" "Yeah, Cody's asleep. But Dennis could be home anytime." "Why are you still with him?" The last thing I wanted to talk about was my crumbling marriage, but his gaze penetrated me through the screen and I couldn't find the strength to evade the question. "I've retained a lawyer. I'm filing for divorce, but I have to be careful or I risk losing my son. He's threatened to take him before. He even told me the only reason he married me was because he wanted a child. He used me for my uterus." "My ex stole my kids from me. Changed the paperwork after I signed it, filed then took off for another state. They don't even know me now." He seemed to understand my worst fears. And I understood his pain. "I'm sorry." Tears wavered in his eyes, but he didn't shed them. He shrugged, looked down and then gave me another smile. "You're smart, you'll do fine." He nodded at me, his eyes locked on mine before moving lower. My mouth felt dry, I licked my lips and wished I'd taken the time to put on a bra. "Thanks," I murmured. He said nothing in response, but the camera tilted and he removed his shirt. He had no extra hair on his body, unlike Dennis who could have been the missing link. Tony had two moles on his chest. One rested directly in the center and the other a little to the left; about two inches above his right nipple. He had two tattoos, one on each muscular arm. His pale skin had a rosy tint to it. I tried to focus on the tattoos instead of the way I wanted to run my fingertips over his chiseled frame. "Nice tattoos. Can I get a better look?" My voice cracked so I cleared my throat and reached for the can of root beer sitting beside my laptop. He laughed and turned, flexing his arms so the muscles rippled in each. The Pegasus tattoo on his left arm and red rose tattoo on his right arm didn't seem like typical tattoos a man would have but the detail in each design impressed me. "Very nice." My voice sounded like an amused purr. Another sip from my soda and I'd regained control of myself once more. "Do you like what you see?" He watched me, still smiling but with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. The trace of vulnerability in the way he tilted his head and looked up at the camera caught me off guard. I nodded, surprised by the strength of his presence. Though several hundred miles separated us, the reality seemed to blur as we stared across the computer screen at one another. He began to unbutton his jeans. "Wait, what are you doing?" He laughed at my question while pulling his jeans off, revealing himself completely. I'd never seen an uncircumcised man before. His penis sprung outward toward the camera. He gripped it at the base and stroked it, holding the foreskin back while I stared. It was large and curved to the right at an angle. A bead of moisture clung to the head. "I wanted to get comfortable. Care to join me?" He leaned back and continued to move his hand up and down the thick length of himself. I'd never known anyone so casual and open about their body. When our eyes met his grin widened into one of those "I dare you" sort of expressions that left me feeling hot and flustered. I'd wanted sexual freedom and excitement, so why did I hesitate now? Based on the email sent to Dennis from someone named Greg, I could only imagine what sort of games he was really playing tonight. Why should I feel guilty? "Okay." Something about Tony made me feel a sense of familiarity, an unexpected easiness with him I'd never felt with another man. Sooner or later I'd fit the puzzle pieces together and figure out why. With the sweatshirt off, the cool air raised goose bumps on my skin. "Very nice," he admired. The deep breath I'd been holding escaped with a rush. His rhythmic hand gestures slowed while he studied me. I leaned back to give him a better look. "Are you touching yourself?" He wondered, unable to see me below the waist. I hadn't wanted things to go this far, but I couldn't say no to him. "Yes." I slipped a hand down my sweatpants, brushed a finger over my already sensitive clit. He hummed in approval. "I'd love to bury my cock inside you right now. I want to suck on those beautiful pink nipples of yours." His suggestion made me think about what his hands would feel like on my body. I watched him as he stroked his shaft down to the base. Then he cupped his balls, gave me a good long look before he wrapped his fingers around himself again. At least two inches longer than Dennis, who appeared to prefer men in his bed instead of the wife he'd promised to love honor and cherish. "I'd like that too." The confession sprung from my lips before I'd considered the wisdom of the words, but Tony's face lit up and my wet fingers could only do so much. So much for playing hard to get. "Meet me then. I'll be in town next Saturday. Please?" The short jerking movements of his hand along the thick length of his cock continued, a bit faster now. I could feel my own release building up. Just a little bit more. I liked him. I wanted him. There wouldn't be any surprises, not like the nightmare I'd experienced before. We'd be two consenting adults having some fun. "Yes!" I exclaimed a bit more forcefully than intended as I'd obtained my release, felt that rush of warm fluid cover my fingers. "Did you cum?" He moved his own hand so quickly now it blurred on the computer screen. I felt the wicked grin spread across my lips and nodded, slipped my drenched fingers from my sweatpants and held up my hand so he could see it on the computer screen. I licked my fingers and tasted the sweetness. He groaned, a loud sound of pure need that encouraged me to continue. An ache settled into my breasts, that familiar hungry need to be touched and caressed. I moved both hands over my stomach then upwards to cup my breasts, pinched my hardened nipples and moaned. The blurred movements on the screen slowed and a stream of white erupted from Tony's cock. Then another and another, until he collapsed back onto the pillows, a wide grin on his face. "You want to taste me don't you?" He shifted, reached for a towel and wiped the stickiness from his stomach and hands while he talked to me. I didn't know. The last time I'd tasted a man had been by force. Dennis hadn't been able to convince me to do it and we'd been married for six years. Tony arched an eyebrow at me, waited for my answer. "Yes." What kind of man is he, I wondered, surprised I'd acquiesced so easily. What made me want to travel down this path again? Every time I stared into his eyes Tony drew me in deeper. His voice and smile bound me to him, captivated me. "You will," he promised. "I'll take you places you've never been before." "This is crazy. You know what I've been through. Why is it so easy to trust you?" The unspoken question, how would I know that he wouldn't hurt me too didn't need to be asked. It hung between us all the same. He looked down at the towel still in his hands and then at me. The smile was gone, his shoulders drooped and his eyes seemed haunted. How did he manage to look so confident one minute and vulnerable the next? "We won't do anything you don't want to do. I promise." And with one charming smile he turned me into his willing puppet. "All right," I conceded, half convinced he'd cancel anyways. "Where do you want to meet?" "Have you heard of this club called the VIP Lounge? We could meet for dinner and see what happens from there." I knew the place by reputation. Wild parties, excellent music, dancing, and the best burgers in the county, the VIP Lounge promised to be exciting any day of the week. "I've never been there, but I've heard the food's good. They have local bands perform on the weekends. My friend Jade knows a few that play there on occasion." The unmistakable sound of a car pulled into the driveway and I froze. "What is it?" Tony straightened. I glanced at the backdoor and reached for my sweatshirt. "Dennis is home. I've gotta go," I apologized and silently cursed his timing. The car in the driveway rumbled and sputtered before cutting off. "Okay. Text me later?" I nodded and tugged my sweatshirt back on. He smiled when I paused to look at him again. "I'm sorry I've gotta go so soon." The chain link gate to the driveway rattled like shackles between a prisoner's feet. "I'll talk to you later," I promised then watched Tony's image disappear when I clicked the disconnect button. The computer seemed to take forever to power down. Hurry up, I silently pleaded. The screen went black. Finally. Dennis's heavy footfall sounded on the front steps. I couldn't face him. Not now. I lunged from the chair and nearly knocked it over as I hurried towards the dark sanctuary of my bedroom. Sharp pain lanced through my big toe when I stumbled into the dresser but I held my silence and burrowed under the covers. With my cell phone still clutched in my hand underneath the pillow, I pretended to be asleep. The backdoor clicked shut. Vibrations from my cell phone pulsed in my hand as it went off. The new message tickled my arm all the way up to my elbow. Dennis moved around in the other room, his footsteps on the linoleum told me he'd stopped in the kitchen. He rummaged through the refrigerator and a knot formed in my stomach at the sound of his muffled swearing. I'd made dinner and saved him a plate, why was he so angry? My phone lit up when I flipped it open; a message from Tony. Everything Ok? The message asked. In the other room Dennis ran the water faucet so I typed out a quick reply. I'm in bed pretending to be asleep so he'll leave me alone. Will text again when it's safe. What does safe feel like? I wondered as I hid under the blankets and slipped the phone beneath my pillows. I shut my eyes and focused on my breathing. In and out, slow deep breaths. I recalled Tony's face in my mind and began to relax. I'd had Internet relationships before, but Tony was the first online friend I'd agreed to meet since...I shook my head and curled in on myself to avoid the memory of that horrible night. Why was I putting myself in the same vulnerable position by agreeing to meet Tony? My instincts told me he was different. The unmistakable sexual tension between us, the way we could speak to each other so candidly, and my unique ability to completely open up to him changed everything. And I'd never been intimate with someone I'd considered a friend before. "I know you're awake. You left your root beer on the dining room table." Dennis's voice from the doorway sent a wave of panic through me. I didn't respond but forced myself to continue breathing. I listened to him move through the room and wrapped my fingers around the cell phone under my pillow. "And I told you to stop cooking for me. If I wanted to eat crappy cooking I'd go to a fast food joint so stop wasting food." I gritted my teeth and exhaled slowly. With one swift jerk, Dennis ripped the blankets off and straddled me. He forced my head into the pillow when I tried to move. "Keep quiet or you'll wake Cody up," he said as he tugged my sweatpants down. "No!" my protest was muffled by the pillows but clear enough for him to understand. He forced my thighs apart with his knee and groped between my legs. I hated my life. I hated him. Hated the way he felt when he forced himself inside me, hated the way he grunted and panted in my ear. "You're awfully wet. Who've you been playing with, bitch?" Hot tears burned my eyes. I held onto the cell phone underneath the pillow like a life line and sobbed when it vibrated in my hand again. Dennis pulled out of me and I sagged against the bedding with relief only to have him spread my ass apart and rub against the impossibly small entrance. "No!" I said more forcefully, struggling against him. "You don't want me to need surgery again do you?" I pleaded, hoping his lust for money would stop him. He ignored me and the wet head of his member stretched me apart. It burned. The pain of it shot up into my stomach and I screamed. He stopped and withdrew, pressed my head into the pillow. "Shhh!" He warned, and his fingers tightened around my throat as he thrust himself back inside me. So relieved that he'd decided to leave my ass alone, I let him pump himself in and out of me in silence and prayed he'd hurry up and finish. Why had it come to this? I'd thought myself in love with him once; married him and had his baby. And yet everything I'd done to please him had never been enough. Almost immediately following Cody's birth, Dennis's behavior toward me changed. I was no longer necessary. Extra baggage, he'd once said. At least he can't get me pregnant again I thought as he thrust inside me one more time, held himself there and grunted before he removed the heavy weight of himself from my back. He settled himself on his side of the bed in silence and let the darkness swallow me up in its unrelenting emptiness. I wondered what happened between him and Greg that sent him home to use me again after so many months of being left alone. Stiffness settled into my fingers from the tight grip I maintained on my phone. I held on and waited for Dennis's breathing to sink into the unbearable snoring pattern that told me he'd gone to sleep. How did this happen? How had my life come to this? I cautiously sat upright on the edge of the bed and let the blankets slip from my aching limbs. The musky scent of my wet thighs turned my stomach. A dull ache at the base of my spine greeted me when I stood, followed by a sharp jab from my stubbed toe. The bathroom's sanctuary remained the only room in the house with a lock on the door. I hid myself there with the faint glow from my phone for illumination. I can't wait to see you beautiful, the text from Tony read. Had it only been half an hour? He made me feel beautiful. If he knew what a ruined mess of a woman I really was, would he want me still? I can't wait to see you either. The weak signal in the bathroom delayed the text's transmission. Damn it! I stood in the darkness and held the phone up to the window like a human cell tower. Finally the confirmation came through. I dropped onto the toilet seat in relief. Each breath sucked into my lungs hurt until the dam broke and tears rained a river down my cheeks. Buzz, Buzz! The phone's vibration sounded loud against the porcelain of the bathroom sink and I jumped like a startled rabbit. Even before looking at the display I knew it would be Tony. Do you have class tomorrow? I'd fought for the opportunity to go back to school after Cody's birth and the scholarship I'd earned changed my life by making it possible. I'd never have been online if not for my classes. I'd never have met Tony. Yes, I replied. In my Shakespeare class we're discussing Hamlet, in Creative Writing we're working on poetry. I love it when my classes flow together like that. I set the phone on the window sill and turned on the water. The cold stung my fingers while I waited for the temperature to rise and it felt good against my puffy eyes. I'm not a huge Shakespeare fan. But I like your writing. Not a Shakespeare fan? Well at least he likes my writing, so that redeems him a bit. I chuckled and typed out my response. Thanks. Do you think I'm good enough to make a living at it? I'd recently submitted a short story online and hoped to hear something soon. I knew the website wouldn't pay me for the submission but seeing my work in print would be reward enough for now. If it wasn't worth pursuing I'd tell you. You're good, you can do it. His simple faith humbled me. Yes I really can do it. Thunder rolled overhead. Rain splattered against the window in sheets as I huddled in the dark. The claustrophobic emptiness of the chilly bathroom pressed down on me while I stood and stared out the window into the storm. My life is a prison right now, but I'm gonna make it better. I'm gonna fly again. I'm gonna be free. When I flipped the light switch on I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and winced. Unused to the brightness, I squeezed my eyes shut, then opened them again to face myself. Someday I'm gonna look at my reflection and be proud of the person staring back at me. Just Friends Ch. 01 I flipped open my phone and sent a reply to Tony. Thank you. I thought about the way his eyes twinkled when he looked at me and smiled at the woman in the mirror. Things are gonna change, I silently vowed to myself as I rummaged through the closet for a blanket. The phone vibrated again, its movement across the edge of the sink sent it perilously close to falling. I snatched it up, turned off the light and slipped from the bathroom wrapped in a wool blanket. The only illumination in the house filtered in the front window from the streetlamp on the corner. Reflections of blue loneliness bounced off the stark white walls of the living room. The blanket felt scratchy against my skin but kept the chill away as I tucked its heavy folds around me and settled myself on the couch. When I opened up the text an animated teddy bear wearing a red shirt blew me a kiss. You make me smile, the message read. Tony White, you make me smile too. What's your middle name? The phone glowed like a candle, warm and bright in the cold room. It's Ray, lol. What's yours? His question was followed by a smiley face. My shoulders shook with the soft chuckle that escaped me. It's Leigh. My full name is Ellen Leigh Monroe, but my maiden name is Benton. I exhaled slowly and shut my eyes. The vibrations tickled my hand again. Do you want it to be White? I stared at the phone, unable to comprehend his question at first. What? Oh my god. He's joking right? He has to be, I'm still married. He's mocking the fact that I'm married. But what if he's serious? Tony told me about his anniversary dinner with his ex wife; how he'd proposed again and she'd said no. But the idea of marriage was not something I was ready to consider. LOL. It's a bit soon for that, isn't it? Ask me again in two years. I pressed the send button satisfied with my response. If he still excites me in two years the way he does now, who knows? He had to be joking. And yet he already knew more about me than my husband did. I already trusted him more than any man I'd ever known. I'm going crazy I concluded and adjusted my position on the couch. Time to sleep if possible. Buzz! Buzz! The phone came alive in my hand and I opened one eye to read the incoming text. Ok was his single word reply. I snorted. Knowing my luck he'll probably have forgotten all about me by then. Ok. Time for me to go to sleep, I have a long drive tomorrow. Goodnight sexy. I added a smiley face of my own and sent the message. Goodnight hon. See you in my dreams. The phone snapped shut in my hand and I tucked it in the cushion beside my head. Sure, dream about me. I've only been dreaming about you for the last week. I knew a line when I heard it; or read it in this case but it made me smile anyway. My back still ached. My toe throbbed when I shifted on the sofa and bumped it against the cushion. The conversation with Tony calmed me however and the brief escape of slumber finally gave me some peace. Just Friends Ch. 02 To begin with, Sophie's decision not to see Justin again gave her a warm sense of vengeful satisfaction. After all, if she was such an embarrassment to him and his prissy girlfriend, why should she waste her time? She didn't return Justin's calls and the one time he spoke to her on the phone she made a feeble excuse as to why they couldn't meet. Despite herself, however, it was with increasing fondness that she remembered Justin and their innocent nights out at the cinema and the pub. She rather missed his friendship. It wasn't as if she had no active social life without him. A girl like her could fill every minute of every day with some kind of fun. She somehow missed those innocent goodbye kisses where there was no expectation that her vagina or anus should take more punishment in addition to what it had already received as part of her normal working day. It didn't matter if she was socialising with a man, a woman, several men or mixed company, the evenings always ended the same way. A few lines, a few spliffs, perhaps something stronger, and, when sufficiently relaxed, on the bed, on the fireside rug, in the kitchen, penis, dildo, fist or fingers thrusting in her orifices. And then the familiar scent of semen, vaginal juice or urine, dripping down her thighs, her face or her breasts. In many ways so rewarding, but also curiously empty and predictable. Here was the love and affection she craved, but where was the companionship and friendship she also needed? It was during a shoot for Bang Busters Volume Four that she exhausted the final crumb of satisfaction she'd got from terminating her friendship with Justin. She'd already spent an hour or so on the film set, in which time she'd fellated two men and had both of them ejaculate onto her face, along with a third man who'd previously been fucking Lara. Perhaps it was the sour taste of semen. Perhaps it was the slightly fetid taste of raw genitalia. Perhaps it was the soreness in her anus that was much more pronounced after being fucked face-on while sitting on her co-star's lap. It couldn't have helped that at the same time her mouth was gobbling an erect penis and her hand was pumping a third penis. Then suddenly she lost all heart for it. She wasn't sure whether the film director noticed this sudden collapse of enthusiasm, but it was obvious Doug did, as he thrust into her from below. And Michael hastened his ejaculation as he also detected Sophie's waning excitement. But when Sophie unexpectedly burst into tears and awkwardly disengaged herself from the amorous company with whom she shared the film set, it was clear to everyone that something had snapped. Sophie staggered over to the sofa where, only moments ago, Julia had been fucked by Doug and Angelo. The camera trailed her, perhaps uncertain whether Sophie's tears were worth recording, but the director was more sensitive and bade the filming stop. "What's wrong, Sophie?" he asked her, putting a comforting arm around Sophie's bare shoulders, which heaved with her sobs. "I don't know!" she wailed. "I don't know! I just sorta lost it!" "You're not the only one who's lost it!" moaned Doug, as he stroked his shrivelling, but still glistening, penis. "Come on, Sophie," cajoled the director. "We've got everyone in place. It'd be a shame not to finish the scene." Sophie looked over at her three male co-stars who were tugging and pulling at their semi-erect penises in the hope of them retaining something of their past glory. They smiled at her, clearly eager to resume their amatory activity from where it had been interrupted. Michael, with whom Sophie had spent the previous night, waved at her with the fingers of his right hand. "I'm not sure I can," Sophie moaned. "It's not like me! I've lost it! I'm just not enjoying it!" "Well, you don't have to enjoy it to finish the scene, love," the director continued. "I won't be able to pay you full whack otherwise." "I know. I know," Sophie moaned. "Can't you edit it a bit? Use more of Lara and Julia and less of me?" "Yes, of course we can, love. But that means we'll pay more to Lara and Julia and less to you. Do you want that?" Sophie hesitated. She'd always told herself that she only ever did it for the money. Each filmed action, often identical ones to those she'd do for free with the same co-stars away from the camera, was worth money. It was foolish not to perform when just a little bit of anal or urine made such dramatic differences to her pay packet, and took such little time to film. But the very thought of putting Michael's penis back into her mouth, where the taste on her tongue was still so vivid, was enough to make Sophie retch. Her chest heaved involuntarily, shaking her well-proportioned breasts, while a dribble of creamy sperm regurgitated into the back of her throat. Sophie coughed. "Are you feeling OK?" the director asked. "Are you well?" "I had my check-up last week," said Sophie automatically, before recognizing that the query was occasioned by her current discomfort. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. I guess I'll just have to forget the bonus, won't I?" "'Fraid so, love," said the director sadly. "If we paid it you whatever happened, it wouldn't be worth anything, would it? 'Course we could make it up for you if you join Lara with the woodmen in the afternoon shoot. What do you think?" Sophie considered this with a frown. She shook her head. "No. Can't do it. I'm just not in the mood. The idea's making me feel a bit sick, actually. It's really weird. Maybe it's something I ate." "I didn't know my spunk was as bad as that!" joked Michael rather sweetly. Sophie smiled. Michael and Doug were good sorts. It wasn't them that was the problem. It was something else. It was something to do with the aching hollowness that was opening up in her like a void. Something like how the previous night she couldn't be bothered when George suggested he join Michael and she to make an amorous threesome. Instead of agreeing like she normally would, she simply said that Michael was all the man she needed, which wasn't strictly true but certainly added extra passion to his lovemaking. After leaving the film set, Sophie wandered aimlessly to the grounds of a nearby church, where she sat on a bench with a cigarette and her thoughts. What was wrong with her? Now she was so distant from the sight of cock and camera, her earlier aversion seemed ridiculous. She picked up her mobile phone. She needed someone to speak to. And the person whose saved number she chose was Justin. The same Justin, of course, who was now returning from the bar of the Black Swan carrying three glasses of wine for Ashley, Sophie and himself. Justin laid out the drinks and sat down with a grin. "Isn't it wonderful," said Ashley to Justin, "Sophie getting into accountancy and everything?" "It's really quite unexpected," agreed Justin. "We had no idea what had happened to you. I thought you'd gone to California where they make most of those porno movies. You know, where you can be filmed outdoors in the nude all year long." Sophie shook her head. "No chance. The weather's tempting. And the money, too! But I just didn't have the spirit. And you? What're you doing these days? Still systems admin?" "Well, more admin than systems, really," Justin chuckled. "Promotion to management makes all jobs seem just the same. But I'm still working for the same firm." The same firm, in fact, where Justin was working when Sophie phoned him up on her mobile phone outside the church. "Sophie!" he said with surprise on recognising her voice. "I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again. After that time with Ash, I thought, well, I don't know what I thought, but anyway... How are you?" "Fine. Fine," said Sophie automatically. And then remembering herself. "Well, actually not fine at all. D'you wanna meet up this evening?" "This evening?" Justin wondered. "Well, I told Ash..." "I'd really like to see you, Justin." "Oh. All right! But you won't mind, will you, if I don't tell Ashley. She got real upset that last time. In fact, she often mentions you. And not in a nice way either, I'm afraid. And I don't think it's just 'cause you're a porn star and everything." "Whatever!" said Sophie. "I just want to talk." And what Sophie most wanted to talk about, and this wasn't what she'd expected before she met Justin, was Ashley. Justin sat opposite Sophie in the Queen's Head and nursed his pint in his hands. Sophie was dressed modestly in sweater and jeans and looked rather less like a porn star than the barmaid who served them. She puffed away at her cigarette and drank her vodka and lime rather too quickly. "Why all these questions about Ash, Sophie?" Justin asked. "You only met her the one time. And you didn't get on that well, either, if you remember. What's the reason for this?" Sophie looked down at her manicured nails sadly. "I dunno. I don't know at all." "If you're so keen on finding out about Ash, why don't you speak to her yourself?" "Do you think she'd want me to?" "No," said Justin thoughtfully. "I don't think she would at all. But it might be better than asking me all these questions." Sophie nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right there." And so it was the following evening that Sophie pressed the buzzer for Ashley's flat in the huge Victorian house in Fulham. It was obvious even through the crackle of the intercom speaker that Ashley neither expected nor welcomed the sound of Sophie's voice. "What do you want?" Ashley asked, not unreasonably, when she'd established for sure who it was that was visiting her. Sophie wasn't sure what to say. She just somehow wanted to make it up with Ashley so that she and Justin could return to the same status of friendship they'd known before, but that would sound feeble. "Just to visit, you know. Chat and that. Can I come up?" "Well, since you're here..." Ashley conceded with a sigh. Sophie heard the low whine of the door's catch as it was released. She pushed the heavy door open and headed for the staircase and Ashley's flat on the second floor. She knew she was on the right floor, sure enough, as Ashley was standing outside the door to her flat in a tee-shirt and shorts, with espadrilles on her bare feet. "So, this is where you live?" asked Sophie as she followed Ashley through the open door. It was a smaller flat than hers. Only one bedroom. The furniture was more modest and well-worn. The television and stereo were functional at best and certainly not the best money could buy. And although the flat had the homely untidiness of a place where visitors were not anticipated, it had none of the sheer recklessness with which Sophie abandoned ashtrays, clothes and bed sheets in her more luxurious and select apartment. "It mightn't be much, but the mortgage is crippling!" Ashley remarked sadly. She wandered over to an armchair that faced the television and gestured to Sophie to sit on either the sofa or the other armchair. Sophie sprawled onto the sofa, pulling her sandaled feet off the ground. Like Ashley, she was dressed rather plainly in a tee-shirt and shorts, but her clothing was designer label and conspicuously expensive. "Now you're here, would you like some tea or coffee?" Ashley asked. "Coffee. White. Two sugars," said Sophie, as Ashley retreated into the kitchenette that made up one third of her living room. The two women chatted amiably for a few minutes, with Ashley directing the conversation and Sophie colluding with her in keeping the topics innocent and unthreatening. It was just the sort of chat two work colleagues or two neighbours might have. However, it served its function of helping the two women relax in each other's company. Sophie could see that Ashley was slowly revising her opinion of her as she plied the charm that had served so well in furthering her career in adult entertainment. Sophie was more than just a woman who fucked for her pay cheques. "I've seen that film with Kevin Spacey, too. I thought it was crap, though," said Ashley. "I suppose you saw it with Justin, did you?" "Yes," Sophie admitted, aware that conversation was beginning to steer away from more trivial matters. "Was that before or after I started seeing Justin?" Ashley asked. "Before," said Sophie. "I've only seen Justin the once since I met you that time. And that was to find out where you live." "And is it true what Justin said that you and he haven't ever...?" "Not once." "You know, I just don't understand that. I mean, him and me, well, we do it... you know... we do it all the time. How can someone like you who, you know, who does it with everyone...how...?" "What don't you understand?" "I just don't think it's possible." "What?" "For you and he to be just friends. It doesn't make sense." "Why not?" Ashley sipped at her coffee and crossed and uncrossed her long bare legs. "Before I met you," she said, "when Justin mentioned you, I kind of suspected you were his ex or something. I mean, it's not unknown for people to be just friends, but it doesn't usually last for long if they're both, you know, the opposite sex or sexually compatible or whatever. It's quite nice for people to be friends and everything, but you kind of expect that.... But, anyway, I was quite touched by it. Justin's a fairly straight kind of guy, in both senses. If anyone could have women friends who were just that, you know, just friends, well, he'd be the one most likely..." "Yes?" Sophie asked, as she glanced at her handbag where she stored her cigarettes and wondered whether it would be too rude to light one up. "So, I thought maybe you'd be a bit like Justin, you know. Perhaps you were someone not interested in sex with men. Maybe you were a bit, you know, sexually reserved. But I didn't expect you to be some kind of sex film actress. I knew such women existed, but I never expected to meet one in real life. And it just doesn't make sense. How can someone whose career is having sex with men be just friends with my Justin? It's not as if he's not interested in women or anything." Ashley looked towards Sophie expectantly, as if expecting her to have an answer. Sophie was struggling between her need for the consolation of nicotine and her uncertainty as to why she was even here. What was she expecting to achieve? Did she even know why she'd come all this way to Fulham? "I guess it's because we were just friends that I've come all this way to see him," said Sophie. "It's not something I've got a lot of, you know, friends who're just friends. In my line of work, there's not a clear dividing line between sex and friendship. Or between sex for love and sex for money. It all gets a bit mixed up and screwy. And I guess what I liked about my friendship with Justin, and I don't think I really appreciated it as much as I should, is that is exactly what it was. Friendship. And the fact that he's a bloke and I'm a woman is sort of not the issue in my circles. It'd be almost the same if he'd been a woman, you know. After a while, you get so used to having sex with different people you sort of don't think about people in any other way." Ashley frowned. She looked compassionately at Sophie's shaking hands. "Is there anything wrong?" "Nothing a ciggie wouldn't help," Sophie said. "I've got an ashtray. I don't smoke myself. Well, not cigarettes, but sometimes, Justin and me, we share a spliff." Ashley got up, opened the window even wider than it already was and placed an ashtray on the glass-topped table in front of the sofa. Sophie felt much calmer with the first infusion of nicotine and blew out a cloud of blue-grey smoke while flicking the end of the cigarette in the ashtray. Ashley sat on the sofa next to Sophie and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I'm not a prude, Sophie," said Ashley. "At least I hope I'm not. People have to make a living and some people make a living from the sex industry. It's a livelihood and I guess people choose the career they're best suited to. You've made your career by starring in sex films. I guess you must be very good at it, you know, having sex with different men..." "...and women," Sophie reminded her. "...and women," Ashley conceded. "But I still don't really understand this thing about just being friends with someone. I mean, I'm friends with Justin as well as being his... as well, you know... It's not like it's incompatible, friendship and sex, you know." "Not incompatible so much," admitted Sophie, "but it's different for you. All your friends are just friends and nothing else except for Justin, whereas for me only one of my friends was just a friend..." "And you miss that?" asked Ashley. Sophie puffed at her cigarette again. She didn't actually want to say yes, (that would sound soft), but she nodded her head. "And is that why you were so, you know, so rude when we met in the pub?" "What d'you mean?" "Were you kind of jealous of me for taking Justin away from you, was that it?" "Well, I'm not sure I'd say 'jealous' exactly." "Whatever," Ashley said conciliatorily. The two women sat silently on the sofa, Sophie puffing away at the last inch of her cigarette and Ashley massaging her forehead agitatedly. At last, Ashley lifted her head up. "So, Sophie, is the only reason you came to see me because you want to make it up with Justin and be just friends again? That doesn't really make much sense. Why d'you bother seeing me, alone, like this? Is something else bothering you?" Sophie stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and pushed it forward an inch or so. She turned her head round and looked Ashley in the face. What should she say? What was bothering her? She decided to mention the time she'd lost her enthusiasm for sex at work and just couldn't carry on, when suddenly the whole exercise seemed repulsive to her, and how it still remained repulsive. She spoke to Ashley, because she knew no one else, no one anywhere, who she could talk to about how she had somehow lost the stomach and inclination to have sex under the gaze of a film camera. "Well, there is something else..." she began, thinking that she'd somehow be able to say all she wanted to in a few sentences. But she was wrong. She was still talking an hour later, Ashley only interjecting occasionally, as Sophie described her life in the adult industry. She described the film shoots where she'd drunk urine. The occasions she'd fellated more than a dozen men who then proceeded, one by one, to ejaculate over her face. The dildos that had penetrated her anus. The strap-ons she'd used to inflict similar punishment on both female and male co-stars. The often wilder group sex she'd had with her co-stars off camera and the pot pourri of drugs she enjoyed in their company. And as she described and enumerated these occasions, she wasn't sure whether she was boasting, to say to Ashley, look what I've done, wouldn't you like to have the same problems as me? Sophie looked up, her eyes streaming with a thin trickle of tears just as a similarly thin sliver of snot trailed out of her nose. Ashley had a confused expression on her face, as she supported Sophie with an arm around the shoulders and held ready a paper tissue in her free hand. Her eyes burned with a strange excitement, while her face also expressed compassion and something that was neither envy nor pity, but an unsettled mixture of the two. Ashley was quite pretty really. Not porno-pretty, but pretty in a kind of normal, non-porno way. She had bright brown eyes, which sparkled quite endearingly now she'd taken off her glasses. She had a broad face that filled out like hamster-cheeks when she smiled. She had lips that were naturally thick, with no collagen enhancement, and her tongue licked across the top of her teeth seductively as she moistened her lips. Just Friends Ch. 02 The last time we had seen each other outside of work was when I crawled out of his bed, embarrassed and confused and feeling guilty. I felt bad that I stopped him, and that my drunkenness put us in that situation to begin with. And embarrassed that he knew the way my body felt, that he knew he could make me gasp with a touch of his hand. The whole situation was confusing, but really not that big of a deal. We talked about it right away and laughed it off as drunken silliness, and things remained the same between us, for the most part. The only change was that Our conversations had turned increasingly sexual; we often joked we would "bang the shit" out of each other if we weren't such good friends. We shared bits and pieces of our little quirks and desires; I knew little secrets about him and I shared my own. It was fun and sweet and felt natural to share. One secret I shared was that it has always been easier for me to reach orgasm while lying on my stomach. I don't know why, but whenever i touch myself it's almost always face down. I got the impression that this little tidbit excited him. A self-proclaimed ass man, I think the thought of a girl touching herself with her butt up was not a terrible image for him... It came up in conversation a few times over the next few weeks, and somehow we got talking that as long as we didn't actually have sex, our friendship would remain intact. One sunny afternoon, we found ourselves at his apartment, going over some things for a business we were thinking of starting. We sat on the couch, my legs thrown over his lap, and laughed and planned and enjoyed each others company. He got up to get something from the kitchen, and when he came back he comically laid his whole body down over mine and pretended to sleep. I laughed and squirmed under his weight, working first one leg and then the other out from him until they were wrapped around his body and his head rested comfortably on my chest. I stroked his hair and his back, and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the warmth of this human blanket. There was a barely perceptible shift and suddenly our hips were aligned and I could feel him press against me. I tightened my legs around him to get more of the sensation and my heart started beating faster. He nuzzled his face against me and I could feel his lips brush against my neck. My back arched and my breath became shallow. Suddenly I was aware of my breasts straining against the fabric of my bra and the feel of his muscular back under my hands. He began kissing my neck and started a slow rhythm of his hips against my body. I was scared, I wanted to kiss him, to caress his face, but I felt frozen in place. Suddenly, he pulled away and sat back on his knees. He gave my pants a gentle tug and with a devilish smile said, "lets get these off" I laughed, surprised, unsure, but the confidence on his handsome face and the urgency in my body won out and I lifted my hips and felt my pants slide down and off. He resumed his position on top of me and reached down and traced where my thong met the inside of my leg. He moved it aside and put his finger at the opening beneath. My body started to tremble as he firmly pressed until it started to slide deeper, deeper, until it was all the way inside. His thumb pressed against my clit as his finger began to work slowly in and out. A moan escaped my lips as my back arched and my hips began to match his rhythm. He sat up and I felt his hand slide under my lower back to hold me steady for him. The sensations were exploding in my head, one arm thrown over my face as the work of his hands overwhelmed me. My other hand gripped his bicep, his shoulder, anything I could reach. I felt myself pull up on him until I was kneeling on the couch, his fingers still inside me. I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my lips to his temple. I was close to coming but knew I wouldn't be able to in that position, and we both sort of stopped at the same time. He looked up at me and cleared his throat. "Whoa. We probably shouldn't do that, huh?" I took a shaky breath and tried to steady myself. "Yeah, probably not. That was.." I laughed. "Not bad. Just Friends Ch. 02 So, it was quite natural for Sophie to return Ashley's friendly supportive arm with a friendly cuddle of her own. Just as it was natural for Sophie to place a hand on Ashley's bare knee and to pull her face towards hers. And just as it was in the normal and expected course of things for Sophie's open mouth to lock against Ashley's and for the two of them to join tongues and lips in passionate kissing. And, as the rhythm of Sophie's sobs were replaced by a rhythm of a different kind as her passion built up, there was nothing unnatural at all as both she and Ashley divested one another of their clothes and gave each other much more vigorous and erotic comfort. Sophie had made love to women many times in her life, and for her Ashley wasn't very special. She was clearly uncertain and gauche with regards to making love with another woman, although it also excited her much more than it upset her. But Ashley wasn't the first woman Sophie had introduced to Sapphic love. She'd even done so on a film set, which must surely be the least romantic place imaginable for this to happen. Nor was Ashley especially accomplished as a lover. Practice in sex, especially with those who were themselves well-practiced, could never be matched by enthusiasm, however great. And Ashley's enthusiasm was certainly considerable, although more was expressed through her excited eyes than by anything she said.   "I didn't believe that making love with a woman could be as rough and physical as this!" exclaimed Ashley at last, as she lay on her back with Sophie's teeth still nibbling her clitoris. Sophie could only nod. There was much that Ashley could learn about sex with women, and it was obvious that she wanted to find out more, but Sophie decided that whoever it was who would be her future teacher and guide in the ways of lesbian love, it wasn't going to be her. As they lay on Ashley's double bed, the moonlight shining through the thin cotton curtains, Sophie swore softly to herself. Shit! Whatever it was that she'd intended to achieve when she decided to meet Ashley it hadn't been this. Again, just as she always did, she'd let sex determine how she behaved. She was incorrigible and there was no hope for her. She looked at Ashley's naked body nestled against her, the lips curled in contented sleep and a slight bruise just coming up on the inside of her left thigh. Ashley was a dear, and in the normal course of events Sophie could imagine seeing her again. But Sophie had no need for more lovers in her life. That wasn't what she wanted. So it was then that she decided to change her career. At the time she had no idea that this meant enrolling for a course in accountancy. In fact, her thoughts focused no further than moving to a smaller cheaper flat so she could survive for a while before she found a new direction for her life. She knew she'd have to break loose from her friends and acquaintances otherwise she'd just be dragged back into making sex films, and this was what she decided she didn't want to do. And now, several years later, here she was, every link with her previous life severed. She'd successfully made the change. At first, she still saw some of her old friends in the porn industry for the companionship they offered, both sexual and otherwise. She even occasionally relented and let herself be filmed in a porno, but she did so reluctantly and only for the money that was so easily earned. And she did see more of Ashley and Justin. She even agreed to collude in Ashley's game of deceit, which was to never tell Justin just how affectionate the two women had been that evening. But the deceit wearied her, so when she rented the flat in Wood Green she used that as an excuse never to make the trek across to South West London. In any case, it troubled her that on the one hand the couple was talking about marriage, whilst on the other Ashley expressed in the odd thoughtful smile or overlong stare that she still hoped for a reprise of their evening together. "It's so weird seeing you again!" exclaimed Justin, shaking his head as if this might throw off his incredulity. "Yeah, it is," said Sophie. "And did you get married in the end? Are you married now?" "Yes!" said Ashley, holding up her ring finger, which Sophie had, of course, already noticed was properly adorned. "We sent you an invite to your old address, but it must have not got to you." "And you're getting married too?" Justin asked. "Yes, I think so," said Sophie. "Malcolm. He works in the City. It'll be strange committing to someone like this. It sort of puts a line under everything else." "It needn't, of course," said Justin. "It needn't what?" "Things don't have to stop just because you're married," Ashley agreed. "You can be committed to your partner and still have a fuller sex life than with just one person." Sophie blinked. What was Ashley saying exactly? "I'm sorry. I don't quite understand." Justin smiled. "Of course you do, Sophie. You understand better than anyone. Ash and you. Ash and me. The only thing missing was the three of us together. I don't know what I was thinking about in those days, but since you and Ash got it together, she always talked about being a bit more adventurous..." "Yes," agreed Ashley. "It took a bit of courage at first, but it's easy for couples to meet other like-minded couples on the internet. Justin didn't want to at first." "Yeah," Justin continued, squeezing Ashley's hand. "It's one thing you and Ash doing it together. I sort of half-expected it anyway, so I wasn't that surprised when she told me. It's another to do it regularly. You know, have a polyamorous lifestyle." "Polyamorous?" Sophie asked. "Yeah," said Justin. "You know what it means?" "Of course," said Sophie. "But you and Ashley, I just never thought." "We've been doing it for years now," Ashley said with an enthusiastic smile. "There are a lot of us. And there's always space for more!" "I had no idea you led a lifestyle like that. It's a total surprise to me!" said Sophie truthfully. "So," Justin said, leaning forward over the bench, clasping Ashley's hand tightly in his own, "when we saw you, we were so excited. Now, we have a much more open lifestyle, a bit like yours used to be when you made all those porn videos, it seems a perfect opportunity for us all to get to know each other again, only this time a lot better and more intimately." Sophie looked across the table at Ashley and Justin, whose faces were expressing hope and anticipation. Sophie could see behind them the other people in the patio, people who'd been working in the office all day and enjoying the evening sun. There came a sudden rush and thunder of wings as a swan launched itself into the air along the flowing River Thames. Sophie smiled. "So, you'd like me to come back with you so we can have sex together, only the three of us?" "Yes!" said Ashley. "Please say yes! I've so wanted to make love to you again after all these years." "Is this what you want, Justin?" Sophie asked. "Of course," he said, not a hint of doubt in his voice. "That's what I should have done all those years ago. I just don't know what was wrong with me." "So, what do you say, Sophie?" asked Ashley. "It's only a short distance to our flat..." Sophie coughed. She looked at Justin. She looked back at Ashley. She smiled at them, warmly and affectionately. Her mind was made up. "I don't think so," she said at last. "I think I'd much prefer it if we stayed just friends."