0 comments/ 9236 views/ 2 favorites Interview with a Lesbian Ch. 01 By: Parkerslove40 My name is Jody and this is my story. I am a 41yr old single parent of three with two grandsons. I still look good for my age with a toned body; I'm slim and stand six feet tall. I have firm 32c's, a six pack stomach and muscles in my thighs and legs. I have light caramel skin with long brown hair almost to my waist, brown eyes and big luscious lips. Wink Someone ask me to tell my story so here it is: 1. How I felt when I found out I was gay? I thought something was wrong with me. My family don't believe in same sex couples and believe that people like me are doomed to hell. I really had a tough time with my sexuality. I kept thinking " I'm doomed but I can't stop these feelings" I was scared. 2. How did I actually realize I was gay? I was younger when I had sex with a girl name Sonya and it felt so right ( more about her later). I was going through a horrible time at home. I was getting the hell fucked out of me and being abused. This experience with Sonya was different. I wasn't forced to masturbate. I wasn't forced into all type of positions. Wasn't forced to tell her it feel good when it wasn't. I wasn't forced into anal sex. No one was making me do anything I didn't want to. I really loved her but at that time I still felt I had hide. 3. Was it a general disinterest in men when everyone around me started dating? No, I started disliking men when my brother took away my life by abusing me. I had sex, oral, anal and tittie fucked by eighteen, leaving me pregnant, but like I mentioned before I knew at an early age I was attracted to girls my brother just seal the deal. 4. Was it seeing other women and wondering why I was getting turned on by them? Hell yeah! I was wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. Wondering why I would look at girls in the locker room and get hot and wet just by watching them. I would be so turned on I would have to take a cold shower. 5. Why did my family feel I would be doomed to hell was it religious a thing? No, it wasn't or they would have said something when I became an Eastern Star, so that wasn't it. They're just a bunch of hypocritical homophobic pricks! They don't like gays and lesbians. There were a lesbian couple that stayed in our hood and some of the other people who lived there got together and tried to have them removed but it didn't work. Tina and Dorsey stayed to themselves. So they didn't have a leg to stand on. They say Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve; said god destroyed the city that was into it-but no it wasn't religion it is stupidity! 6. How and why I fought against being gay? I fought it by keeping my feelings to myself, not even a word to my two best friends in the whole world. The reason I fought it was because my family had convinced me I'd be doomed to hell. I wouldn't dare breath a word of my feelings to anyone. Over the next several years I put everything aside and went out with guys even though I wasn't happy at all. I was in college and found out I was pregnant in my senior year near graduation. To have sex with my boyfriend I would have to get extremely drunk before I could do it. I was really heading down a road of destruction and when I was told I was pregnant that brought me back to reality. My child's father ask me to marry him and naturally I did to make everyone else happy. I wasn't happy though. 7. How I felt being married and how I dealt with the feelings of it being wrong? For one I hated being married and living with a man. But he did nothing wrong. He loved me and I was really trying. When we did make love he would be more into than I would and at the age twenty-one your sex drive should be high. He never brought me to a orgasm. He's a good man but he just wasn't for me, but for the next three years I just went through the motions- I even had a second child. Interview with a Lesbian Ch. 02 8. What made me gain the courage to end my marriage? When my youngest daughter turned one I couldn't do it anymore; I wasn't happy he knew it. I had to tell him that it wasn't him and deserved someone that would make him happy. He wanted to go to counseling but I said no because I knew it wasn't going to help. I finally told him I was not in love with him. He tried to keep me but I was done couldn't go another day pretending, so I packed and moved back to Chicago from Atlanta. I knew that if I had stayed the emotional ride I was on wasn't going to get better. 9. What made me end the charade? I realized I was hurting someone who loved me unconditionally but couldn't love him the way he did me. When I had my nightmares he slept straight through them and I would end up watching tv until l fell back to sleep. I really didn't want him touching me and on several occasions I actually threw up after sex with him. I never enjoyed it. I would pretend to have an orgasm and eventually enough was enough. 10. Was there a specific event that made me decide enough was enough? Yes, actually it was my supervisor April who invited me over one Friday for a girls night out. I would always be with our girls during the day and work at night; my ex was in the military so I had no choice, but I told him he would keep the kids this one Friday night and I'd be back in the morning. I thought nothing of it when I arrived at her home. It was six of us - four army wives and two single women, and we watched movies while eating junk food pizza, chips and drinking red wine. After some time everyone began to leave. But I had a point of no drinking and driving for me and as she had a three bedroom home with no children. She fixed one of the rooms up for me. I was getting ready for bed when she asked the question " Tiffany are you bi?" At first I just looked at her with wide eyes and I said " no but have had sex with a girl before." She said I'm gay and my gaydar has been going crazy every time you come around me. I decided right then and there to set the record straight . So I walked up to April and kissed her just lightly on the lips. She pulled me to her and kissed me with passion and lust. I licked her lips to invite my tongue into her mouth and she parted for me our tongues did a happy dance. I nibbled on her lips and April sucked my tongue and I was getting wetter by the second. I grabbed her breast and they were so soft, although her nipples were as stiff as a board. April moaned when I tweaked them. I slowly took her shirt off and unclasped her bra. I was in a trance-they were beautiful , perky and bigger than mine at 38c. I couldn't wait to sink my mouth into those globes. I finished undressing her and myself. April led me to her bedroom and I laid her down and got on top of her and began kissing her again. I kissed my way to her jaw line and down to the hollow part of her throat. Licking and sucking gently but rough enough to leave a hickey on her neck. I went further down till I reached her titties and began sucking as much as I could into my mouth, while caressing the other one. I nipped and bit her nipples hard but not hard enough to cause pain. Then I preceded down her flat stomach, kissing and licking leaving a trail of saliva along the way. I reached the top of her clean shaven mound and kissed it. I went past her pussy to the insides of her thighs, on down one leg and back up the other one. I reached her honeypot and began taking long licks up her slit to her clit. I opened her up and slid my long ass tongue inside her; in and out doing a figure eight on her shit; I was high off her aroma it was intoxicating strawberries and cream; it was so sweet and addictive. I replaced my tongue with my middle finger going straight to her g-spot, then I put another finger in and out started finger fucking her for all I was worth; in and out , twisting , in and out. April was moaning and breathing hard. When I knew she was about to cum I backed off making beg for release. I felt sorry for her after thirty minutes of teasing so I latched onto her clit, lightly grazing it with my teeth then sucking it hard in my mouth. She screamed so loud, cursing" OH SHIT! OH SHIT!" she was saying " OMG OMGAWD!!!!" I-IMMM CUMMMINNGGG!!!!" I caught as much as I could rode her out her orgasm. After wave after wave with bucking and moving all over the bed, I had to grab her hips to keep up with her. When she came down I moved up her body and kissed her giving her some of her girl juice I held in my mouth. I broke the passionate kiss due to lack of oxygen and I cuddled up behind her drifted into sleep happy. Interview with a Lesbian Ch. 03 Cont. 10 The next morning I awoke to her between my legs licking and sucking my pussy like never before. She was moving her tongue in all directions, I was so far gone I couldn't be still. She stuck three fingers in me and I felt full and she was reeking havoc on my pussy and it felt good. She came up kissed me our tongue going everywhere. Then she had me in a position that I didn't think was possible - she had me in a scissor tribbing! I had never done it before and it won't be the last time; the clit against clit just sent electricity through my body. My whole mind shut down as April reached between our legs and put her middle finger into me tapping my g-spot and before I knew it I thought I had to pee nope; I squirted! When I felt the first stream she went down to catch the rest with her mouth. I shot at least five and I was screaming. I don't remember what I said. The next thing I knew she was kissing my face telling me to wake up. I had never passed out during sex. Well, there's a first time for everything. Then I thought how my own husband would never satisfy me ever. I knew I had to end it. So, I sat him down and explain to him that I wasn't happy. I didn't tell him anything that happened or what I was feeling because he could have got custody of our girls. I left three weeks later and we filed for divorce. The one good thing is that I have my girls and he's a good man and will pay support until they're out of school. 11. Must have been scary and brave decision, especially with two small children? Yes and No. Yes because I knew that when I got back to my family they was going to want to know why I left him. When I told them why I left I came out right there and my whole life got turned upside down. I got thrown out literally. I was grabbed by my shirt and pushed out the house down five concrete stairs. When I got up to get my kids I was told that once I come back to the straight side I could have them back. So what I did was went to the police station. I told them what happened. They said right now, no judge is going to grant me custody not until I have a job and a place for us to stay; so that's what did. I got a janitor position making sixteen dollars an hour. Next I bought a car, then I got a three bedroom apartment. All this took a little over one year. I could then go to court and get my girls back. I had to take four drug test , have the apartment checked for bugs and mice. Because they painted a good picture about me to the court. I'm just glad the judge believed me! So yes, scary wasn't the word. Brave? I don't know, I was living a lie and not living for me. My family helped me more than hurt me. They thought they were hurting me but I was able to get everything that was needed to get my girls back. 12. How did I feel when I finally admitted I was gay? I felt a lot better. I felt better about myself. I wasn't depressed all the time. I was able to be free of everything. 13.How did others take the news? Oh my gawd it was terrible. First they thought it was a joke, then I was told I was going to hell and they even tried to turn my kids against me and take them from me. My sisters making comments like " you're nasty, you're just horny, it's just a phase," until I wouldn't listen to them anymore and I just stopped talking to them. The brothers were basically the same;" you can't be gay, you are the baby girl, not you." I told one of my brothers " well if I had any chance of being straight you destroyed it by fucking my brains out for the last ten years of my life!" Oh how the tables turned. My dad was just stunned. I told him " I told you- what ever you said or did is a mystery to me because it got worse. Hell as a teen I would have had my first child and guess what brother dear you would have been the father. It was only thanks to an auntie who took me to get an abortion. An incest pregnancy; Wow!" So I told everyone to just stay the fuck away from me, except for one sister. I love my sister to death and we didn't grow up together, but when we connected, we really connected. But I'll explain that later. 14. Were my parents/ siblings unaware of the abuse I was going through? I told my dad and my mom when he first did it. Then my sisters actually caught him in the act. It stopped for two years then BAM! One day he caught me by my throat threw me down, punched me a couple of times and took my virginity. Both vaginal and anal and there was so much blood. He would force me to give him a blowjob. He would hold me down and suck on my pussy. At a certain age he would tell me if I didn't cum he would cut me. He had a knife to my throat at all times. I was so scared I just stop caring; stop fighting and just lay there numb, asking "Why Me!" I became withdrawn and timid and very very shy. Interview with a Lesbian Ch. 04 Cont. 15. Did it cause a rift in my family? No, they act like nothing happen to me. One of my sister ask me to let it go, get over it. But it wasn't her that got fucked by a family member and had her innocence stripped away. I knew more about sex than school work; hell no it didn't cause a rift! When he left in 88 I was so glad because I had been thinking about how I was going to kill him. I haven't seen him since. He called a couple of times trying to apologize. I just didn't want to hear it hear his voice. Derrick still keep in contact with the others like that shit didn't happen. I'm the one waking up in cold sweats and screaming,shaking and Courtney my partner is the one will grab me, hold me and bring me back. So basically I feel like I was never loved by my family. They're so tight with each other and I'm not a part of it. It hurts because I decided to have a relationship with Courtney. I'm no one to them other than a carpet muncher, a dyke, a butch and all of the other things they say to try and degrade me. I'm not butch nor femme, I'm me. 16. If my family didn't support me who did? No one, I had no one behind me for a long time. I had to deal with my feelings and actions on my own. I almost tried to commit suicide; I was so alone and just about everyone I'd ever known basically turned their backs on me; like I had the plague or something . The one organization I thought I could turn to was my sisters from the Order of the Eastern Stars(OES) oooooooh I was so wrong I was voted out the chapter. We were all young, our matron 26 at that time and we were born on the same day. That's when the last straw broke and I didn't want to live any more. I thought about my daughters and I couldn't leave them, so for a long time I had no one. 17. Was I left to cope with it on my own or did I have a support network of friends etc.? Yes, I was left to cope with it in my own. I had no one I already hurt Sonya or she would have been the one I could have turned to. One of my best friends stop talking to me and the other one was so distant I just stop being around even though we known other since diapers. Where we grew up was a very wealthy neighborhood there were judges,doctors, and police officers that lived in our hood before it went to shit. My mom was German and Indian and my father black. If my mom would have not passed I knew my life would have been better. She passed when I was eight due to complication of MS. I have a stepmom who raised me from nine to 18 when her and my dad split up. 18. The first time I slept with a woman how did it make me feel? I have to go back for that one. I was at a friends house (Sonya I mentioned her earlier). I was really attracted to this girl. We drank a couple of beers and was buzzin and she asked me if I ever kissed anyone and I said no. She then decided to teach me. When she placed lips on mine they were so soft. She slid her tongue across my lips inviting her tongue in my mouth and our tongues were fighting for dominance, only breaking the kiss for air. When Sonya started placing little pecks down my face onto my neck I was losing my mind. She put her hand under my shirt, tracing my nipples with her index finger and when she took my shirt off my nipples were standing erect. She took my sports bra off. I was scared as shit, but didn't stop her bending down and tweaking the other one; She sucked my titties like she was a baby being nursed. I couldn't believe what was happening. She was so gentle and she switched sides and paid the other one the same attention. She then slid my basketball shorts down along with my boxers, laid me down on her bed and kissed me again before starting down my body. When she reached my navel she stuck her tongue in and out licked and kissed every part of my body. She went down between my legs lifted them over her shoulders and when she kissed my clit to rosebud I was on fire! I was so wet - I didn't know my body contained that much fluid. Then all of a sudden she started licking and kissing my pussy; I was moaning so loudly. I'm quite sure the neighbors heard as we'd forgotten to let the window down. She stuck her tongue as far as it would go inside me and I screamed and grabbed her hair; I was pulling I know I was hurting her. She didn't let up. Then she stopped and said this may hurt a little as I break your hymen. I told her it was broke awhile ago, without letting her know what was going on in my life. Sonya then pushed two fingers into my dripping wet pussy and hooked her middle finger in a come here motion, her index finger was hitting my g-spot. She pushing in and out hard and fast. It felt so good I told her to fuck me harder and she did just that. Then she sucked my clit into her mouth. Oh my gawd the orgasm I had was unbelievable! It started from the top of my head all the way down to the tip of my toes and back to my pussy as I exploded. I was screaming her name and sobbing at the same time as she continued to suck and lick my girl juice as it gushed out. I couldn't breath, I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, and I couldn't see. All train of thoughts were gone. I was spent when my breathing became regular again. She came up and kissed me with so much passion and lust I thought I was going to combust again. Sonya laid on her side facing me with a kool-aid grin on her face. I tried to return the same pleasure but she told me "No, this time for you." After that we were together a couple more times before I hid my true feelings. When she asked me to be her girlfriend. I told her I was straight. I know I had hurt her and I was hurting too. I just stopped hanging around her because it was hard. I didn't get with another girl or women until I was twenty-two and that was April my supervisor. I mention earlier.