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Adina's Journey

By: quietheron



Adina's journey began one evening when she was staying late at school, back when she was still teaching just in the middle school. Her daughter Dazi, seven, was at a meeting for Girl Scouts. On those evenings, Dazi had dinner with one of the other girls in the troop, which left Adina free to catch up on grading and prep. This evening, Dazi was staying the night with her friend Anna, another girl in the troop who was the daughter of Elaine, one of Adina's trusted friends. The elementary schools had parent conferences the next day. That would have left Adina stranded for childcare if it weren't for Elaine's generosity. Adina was taking half a personal day off so that she could attend parent conferences with her daughter's teacher. She expected a good report: "Dazi is intelligent, kind, helpful and happy..."

Adina was eternally grateful to the other mothers and women in her circle of friends who understood how difficult it was to be a teacher and raise a child alone, who helped her by having Dazi over for dinner or a playdate so that Adina could do chores or errands or grade papers without disruptions. Since her husband Josh had died four years earlier, she'd been on her own; her parents were three thousand miles away. Josh's parents were two hours away by car. 

Reserved and too shy to impose more than she felt she already did, Adina held her household together in a way that looked seamless to outsiders, but she was ready to crack.

Adina left her classroom and was planning to get beakers from the supply closet. She walked into Katy Michael's room (her only access), and approached the door, which was closed. Katy hadn't seemed to have left; her coat was untidily draped over the back of her desk chair, one arm dangling on the dusty floor. Adina frowned, wondering where Katy was. She heard a muffled bump from the supply closet, and a moan.

Her curiosity piqued, she put her ear to the door without trying the handle. She heard two voices, Katy's and another woman's.

"Oh my god you feel so good..." Katy moaned.

"Don't stop," the other woman begged. 

Adina realized with surprise that it was Michelle Miller, another teacher from their department. "What were they doing?" she wondered.

It was silent on the other side of the door, except for the sound of something wet.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Michelle moaned.

"Was Michelle crying," Adina wondered, and then she blushed and thought, "That sounds like sex. Sex!" She didn't move. She could hear them shifting positions and then nothing for several minutes, until Katy started moaning softly.

"Shelly...Shell...ooooh...keep going...I'm on the edge...push me over...Shelly...Shelly..."

Adina felt her hips press into the door, and touched her breast.

When she had caught Katy and Sandeep sleeping naked in the dunes two years before, she had been shocked and upset and hadn't been able to say a word. She had just stared, and turned on her heel when Katy offered her hot chocolate from her thermos, her full and naked breasts swaying as she sat up. Dazi had been with Josh's parents that weekend; Adina had gone back to bed and stayed there reading a trashy romance novel (well, Jane Austen), unable to do anything else. Adina and Sandeep had gone out to dinner just three nights before. She had thought it had meant something to him.

Katy's climax came and Adina heard her stifle her cry. They were whispering; she couldn't hear them.

Adina was enormously curious and was surprised to feel herself wet. She slid her hand under the waistband of her skirt, past her tights and panties and squeezed, then looked out the window of the classroom door to the hall. She had forgotten where she was. With effort she slowed her breathing and removed her hand. 

They would probably leave the supply closet soon, and then what? Adina crept back from the door and slipped into the back of Katy's classroom. She hid herself under a lab bench. If she kept still, and if Katy kept the lights off, Adina would not be seen.

Within five minutes, Katy and Michelle emerged from the supply closet. Katy's fingers were hooked through Michelle's belt loop in the back. Their shirts were untucked. Adina couldn't see their faces.

"So just go take a shower and meet me at Drew's in an hour," Katy was saying.

"You must be joking," Michelle answered.

"Shell, it will be hot. He'd be so into it. You know you want to."

"It's a school night."

"Oh come on! Where's your mother! Not here! Don't be ridiculous. Just be there. I'm going to be there. I want him to watch me eat you out."

Adina could tell from their feet that Michelle was leaning against the wall of the classroom next to the door. Katy was straddling her legs. Adina ducked down with her chin almost on the floor, and from there she could see that Katy was kneading Michelle's breasts and biting her neck, but not hard enough to leave marks. Katy's red hair was falling out of its already untidy bun.

"Where does Drew live again?" Michelle whispered.

"Vista Heights, on Maple, kind of past most of the development. Big green house, cream trim...down a long private driveway, two big hemlocks at the entrance to the driveway. You'll find it. See you there."

Michelle took a big breath, exhaled, and left the classroom.

Katy walked over to her desk and leaned over her chair to turn off her computer. She took a swallow of something from her go-cup and picked up her jacket. She gave her dim classroom a cursory glance around the tops of the lab benches, left and locked the door.

Adina released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Slowly she picked herself up from under the lab bench, knocking over a metal stool. It clattered and she ducked down again, but nobody came to investigate.

Since she had come to Katy's classroom to get beakers out of the supply closet, Adina figured she should complete that task so she wasn't scrambling at 7:45 a.m. the next morning trying to pull a lab together for her students. She spent half an hour more at school and then went out to get in her car. She sat in the parking lot, unsure of her plans. She picked up her cell phone and called Anna's mom, Elaine, and asked to speak to Dazi before the girls went to bed.

Dazi sounded cheerful. "Hi, Mama! Elaine made us chicken nuggets for dinner! We're going to watch Madagascar but then we have to go to bed."

Dazi's high pitched voice brought Adina back to the reality of being a mother and a teacher, practical, organized and sensible.

"That sounds nice, honey. I hope you said thank you."

"Of course, Mom!"

"I know, honey. I love you. You pay attention to Elaine's rules and be a good guest for me. We'll have Anna over to play Saturday before swim lessons."

"Ok! I love you! Do you want to talk to Elaine again?"

Adina and Elaine chatted briefly. Elaine was a little distracted by herding two active seven year olds and twin four year olds. They said goodbye. It was getting dark, and the ocean fog was beginning to thread its way up the coastal rivers. 

Adina put her cell phone in her purse and stared through her windshield. She was going up to Drew Jensen's house. To do what, she didn't know.

It wasn't hard to find, and was very private. Adina killed her lights, pulled past the large hemlock trees and coasted onto the gravel driveway. She pulled her car over to the edge, got out, and walked a quarter mile up to the house in the dark. The night was damp and silent. The fog wet Adina's hair and dripped down her Gore-tex jacket. 

Drew's house was a large Craftsman with a large porch across the entire front. It was surrounded by unfenced lawn and beyond that, forest. On the south side of the house was a large garden, including berry bushes. The garden was finished for the year. The porch was dark, as if Drew were not expecting any visitors.

Katy's bike was on the porch; Michelle's Jetta was parked in front of the garage. Adina planned to leave before being seen by anyone.

Adina crept up the front stairs, stepping lightly in case the wood squeaked. The front door was in the middle of the porch. On the right was a picture window to the living room. On the left was another large window, to an office. And in the office were Drew, Katy and Michelle, on a futon that must have doubled as a couch. It was pulled flat. They were naked.

Adina pressed herself against the pillar closest to the study window. In the deep shadows of a foggy night, she pulled the hood of her jacket up and tucked her pale hands into her pockets.

Michelle was on her back, propped on pillows. Her eyes were half-closed. She was playing with her breasts. Katy was on all fours with her head between Michelle's legs, lapping at Michelle's vagina. Drew was behind Katy, steadily ramming her with what looked to Adina like the thickest penis she had ever seen. He pulled almost all the way out before penetrating all the way, again and again. He was slapping Katy's ass. Everyone was moaning, saying, "Yes...more...oooh...mmmmm."

Adina was panting. She pulled her tights and panties down, pulled her knee-length skirt up, and rubbed. She was wet. Her thighs were white in the darkness, but it was unlikely that anyone inside would see her out the bright window. They would only see their own reflection.

Adina had never seen anything like the spectacle she was spying on, not even in pictures. Michelle's legs tensed and kicked. She cried out. Drew pulled out of Katy and thrust his penis in Michelle's face. Michelle swallowed it whole. Katy masturbated. Michelle and Drew shifted to 69; Katy put a finger in Michelle's ass.

Adina came.

Adina panted. And then relaxed.

When Adina opened her eyes, Katy was on all fours again, this time with Drew in front of her with his penis in her mouth. Shelly was on her back, under Katy's thighs, licking her slit from top to bottom and back again, using her hands on her own pussy and tits.

Adina kept time with them, and came again, and came again. She would take Drew in her mouth if she were in there. She would take their tongues and add her own. Eventually the three of them in the house lay collapsed and spooning on the futon. Drew pulled a quilt over them. 

Adina realized she was cold and wet with fog. She shook her head to clear it. Slowly she pulled her panties and tights up to her dripping crotch, dropped her skirt and slipped off the porch, back down the dark driveway and to her car. She sat in her car for half an hour before coasting in neutral as quietly as possible out of the neighborhood.

She fell deeply asleep at home.

Adina was not sure how to process everything she had seen. Her own marriage and its lovemaking had been so sweet and kind, and rather normal. She and Josh had met in high school, fallen in love, chosen the same college, took the same classes, married, conceived Hadassah and raised her together for three years...and then he'd been killed in a car crash on his way to a weekend climbing trip with some buddies. He had only been twenty-eight, still serious and idealistic about changing the world.

Their lovemaking usually began with kisses, then caresses, then they would disrobe. Adina would invite him inside her, they'd move their hips together, they'd reach orgasm around the same time, and then they'd fall asleep naked until morning. Adina always felt so fresh and young to be sleeping naked next to her best friend and lover. It was so innocent.

Since he had died, Adina had been lost in grief...the type of grief that made her very efficient and methodical about getting everything done, and getting through the day, and getting through the week, but she felt nothing other than grim determination to get through time, to pass it, to kill it. Hadassah -- Dazi -- brought her joy, but Adina viewed her only child and in her loveliness saw loss surrounding her. There was no husband and father, nor were there siblings. Adina was dead with grief. Before Josh died, the ocean and the land would talk to her, would teach her something new every day. Since then, she had been noticed almost nothing.

The shock of seeing two of her colleagues and a community college professor fucking each other woke her up. Her own behavior shocked her, stalking Katy like that.

For several weeks Adina masturbated every night before falling asleep. She went to bed early instead of folding laundry in order to masturbate for as long as she could. She tried different positions, moved her hands in different ways. When Josh's parents took Dazi for one weekend as they did each month, Adina pulled the shades and walked through her house naked, masturbating multiple times in one day. She walked on the dunes and laid down in the very same spot where she had found Katy and Sandeep asleep and naked, pulled her corduroys down and her shirt up, and played with her pussy and her tits under a cloudy sky. The ocean and its surging waves made her think of sex. The pointy tops of the shore pines made her think of sex. She replayed the scene of Drew, Michelle and Katy over and over. She put herself into the scene. She put Sandeep's penis in her mouth.

It wasn't enough.

One weekend, when Dazi was at her grandparents again, Adina turned on her home computer with shaking hands. Into the Google search bar she put, "sex". A world opened up, and so did her legs.

Adina spent several weeks being distracted by the glut of pictures available on the internet as well as its culture...the make-up, the shaving, the positions of the women. Adina imitated those positions in front of her mirror and pretended she and Josh had been more adventurous than they had been before he died. 

It wasn't enough. There were no stories to go with the pictures. Sometimes a caption, but not much else. How did the women find themselves on these couches in front of a camera? Why did the videos have such flimsy story lines, the models so transparently nothing more than models? Did they cum? How much were they getting paid?

It wasn't enough.

Adina put a number of terms into the Google search bar again, and found a site for erotic stories. There were no pictures. Here were the explanations she had been seeking...well, the fantasies anyway.

Adina spent several weeks reading. The site solicited stories as well, so Adina began to write them. Some she made up, but others were about Katy. 

Katy was courting her, she could tell. Katy had invited her to grade papers at Cuppa Java on the past several Sunday afternoons. During an evacuation drill, Katy had caught up to her and their jacket sleeves had touched as they walked down the sidewalk in the midst of students. Katy had whispered something in her ear and Adina had shivered to feel her warm breath. Most recently, Katy had sat next to her on the love seat in the staff room during a meeting. Adina was on the end and Katy squashed her ostensibly in order to make room for Michelle on the other side.

"Omigod, you look SO cute!" Wendy, a social studies teacher, had said about the three women of the science department crowded on the couch, all of them fresh and young and wearing no make-up. Wendy pulled out her iPhone and snapped a picture of them. "I am SO posting this on facebook! Are you on facebook, Adina?"

In fact, Adina was, but she did not friend coworkers.

"No," she said.

(Katy and Michelle were, and so Adina began stalking Katy in cyberspace as well as during her forays to Drew, Michelle and Sandeep's houses. Katy's status posts helped tip her off about whose house she would be at, for "dinner" or "grading papers". Katy did not have her privacy settings very high, and nor did anyone seem to pull the curtains.)

Throughout the meeting, Adina was acutely aware of Katy, who was pressed to her side from their shoulders to their ankles. Katy and Michelle were keeping some type of tally on their agenda and looking angelic. Adina glanced over and noticed that Katy made a mark every time their principal said, "taking it to a new level of excellence" and Michelle made a mark every time the principal said, "reading in the content areas". Michelle won.

After the meeting, Katy invited Adina to come grade papers at her house some Sunday, which, she said, would be more fun than grading at Cuppa Java because then they could have wine, not just coffee.

Adina understood that by accepting Katy's invitation, she was accepting an invitation to seduction. She wouldn't be available for about three weeks though, because Dazi wouldn't be going in to Eugene to visit her grandparents until then.

*****************************************

Friday evening, working late, thinking about Katy, she was surprised when her vice-principal, Brian Smythe, walked into her classroom. He had come in silently and she jumped. He smiled and sat on the corner of one of the students' tables, a manila file folder in his hands.

"How's it going?" he asked. "You're here late."

"Dazi's at her grandparents for the weekend," Adina answered. She wondered what he was doing in her classroom; they were not friends. Brian Smythe was the school's disciplinarian and athletic director. He was not well liked by the teaching staff primarily for failure to follow through with the school's disciplinary policies. The coaches didn't mind him; after staff meetings on Tuesdays, five or so men remained sprawled around the table drinking bad coffee from the pot, talking about their teams versus teams from neighboring towns until their conversation usually devolved into talking trash about women in town who were hot. One evening, Jim Farley threw Adina's name into the conversation, and Troy muttered, "Ice princess."

Jim said, "No, I'm serious. Small, but a great ass. Round brown eyes."

Troy said, "You can take her eyes. They look right through me."

Brian Smythe got up to leave. "Her husband died four years ago."

"Why can't she get over it?" Troy asked. "She's young. She's got her whole life ahead of her. Why was he so special?"

Brian shrugged and left. He hadn't really thought much about Adina until then. He tended to side with Troy in his opinion about her. She was reserved, never came to the kids' games, didn't laugh much at jokes. She was so much smaller than him that she was easy to miss in a crowded hall, and besides, she worked in a separate building with the high school science staff, as well as the art department.

Jim's comments made Brian look at her closely over the next few days. She moved quickly through the halls, greeting students. She was short and small boned with round breasts, round ass, and a flat stomach. Her hair was dark and curly, held by a clip at the back of her head and caught in a braid. Her skin was pale (everyone's skin was pale on the North Coast) and her eyes large and dark in her delicate face. He asked around about her, learned about her weekend childcare schedule, and then floated around her neighborhood after dark. Hours after Dazi had been put to bed, she was on the second floor staring at a computer screen. His laptop was with him. He flipped open the lid to see if he could access a wireless connection, and found hers. There was no firewall, no encryption, nothing.

Over the next several nights, he monitored her activity, which made his cock hard, and suddenly found a way to crack her façade. Why wait and lay a path of courtship and seduction when the fast track of domination might work just as well? And be more fun?

********************************

"Do you miss her when she is gone?" he asked.

Adina looked at him. She said, "Of course. I think of her all weekend. She is all that is left of Josh that I have. Of course his parents see it the same way; I wouldn't begrudge them."

"Huh," he said. "I've got something you need to see," he said, tossing the manila folder onto the papers she was grading. It teetered over her knuckles, knocked her pen to the floor, and some of the papers slipped out.


Adina's Journey Ch. 02



Chapter 02: Adina and Brian

Being fucked by the vice-principal had the effect of cooling her sex drive. Sunday, the day she was planning to be seduced by Katy, she realized she wasn't leaving her house. She called Katy and offered a very lame excuse. Katy seemed cheerful as always. She said, "Another Sunday, then! It'll be fun!"

Adina turned on her (unsecured) computer and logged on to Literotica. It was early Sunday morning. She only had to try three times before Literotica Chat let her in under her screen name, "pinenut". She chose the room, "Playful Questions".

There was little activity. She typed,

pinenut: i think i was raped friday

Horny[m]40: you think?

pinenut: i'm not sure

hung_dude: you wanted it

pinenut: that's why i'm not sure

pinenut: i didn't choose it

Horny[m]40: would you choose it again?

pinenut: i think i have to

Horny[m]40: why?

hung_dude > pinenut: PM me

pinenut > Horny[m]40: he's holding my job over my head

Horny[m]40 > pinenut: that's illegal

pinenut > Horny[m]40: i did a bad thing though

Horny[m]40 > pinenut: you like punishment?

pinenut > Horny[m]40: i think i deserve it

Horny[m]40 > pinenut: did it feel good?

pinenut > Horny[m]40: (blushes) yes...but he was disrespectful...i dread monday...

Horny[m]40 > pinenut: so what are you going to do?

pinenut > Horny[m]40: i'll just do my best with a less than ideal situation...

Adina exited the chat room and sat down to grade papers and wait for Josh's parents to bring Dazi back.

Adina went through the next three weeks as if she were back in her mode of grim determination. For surviving at school, she planned to arrive early to pick up the mail in her box, stick to her classroom, send students to the office to make the photocopies, and eat lunch alone. She simply could not face Brian Smythe. As before, he found few reasons to enter the Science and Art building, but when he did, he always greeted Adina with respect. Adina forced herself to stare at him, and she forced herself to find her voice at staff meetings. She was thankful when her period showed up a week after her first experience with Brian. She knew he had not used a condom, and there was no reason for her to be on the pill. She went to a drugstore in the next small town, twenty miles away, to buy a package of Trojans in case he was someone who didn't have any, now that she superficially committed to his designs. She hoped he was free of STDs. When to ask?

Three weeks after that first Friday, Adina opened her home e-mail and found an e-mail from an unknown address with the subject line, "Pic for Shadow". She knew it was from Brian. It read,

"My terms. 6:00 sharp Friday for dinner, punishment and further activities. Look nice."

She clicked on the jpeg. It was a picture of a man's penis thrust into a woman's vagina, from behind. With a start Adina recognized her black skirt pushed up over her ass. It was a picture of the two of them. He must have taken it when he paused for a moment, just before he made her cum. Adina was fascinated by the picture. She could see the head of his penis inside her walls, her inner lips and the outer lips stretched wide, shining with their juices, reddened. It made her wet. She reached under her nightgown and began stroking herself, remembering the feeling of burning when he first entered her and how that had slowly melted away into intense excitement. She came.

She e-mailed back, "Friday, 6:00. Have you ever had and do you have any STDs? Thanks."

He e-mailed back right away, "No. I wouldn't infect you. Am healthy, can take precautions if you like."

She wrote, "Yes, please."

Adina ended the school day on Friday, picked up Dazi from elementary school, got her bag packed, welcomed Josh's parents to her home briefly, kissed Dazi goodbye, and went to have a shower.

As she washed her hair, she wondered what Brian had in mind this evening. She was no longer terrified for her job, but. Her feelings were complicated. Brian was not her type. Brian behaved in a possessive, dominating way. She couldn't really see being fucked by him across his desk as anything other than rape, except that she had liked it. Physically. Physically, not intellectually. She didn't feel affection for him. More than anything, she was curious. Perhaps that made her a good scientist, her curiosity. She felt a bit as if she were playing two roles: Brian's plaything and the anthropologist who was objectively cataloging every experience and feeling, subject and object. Subject and object, objectified both by Brian and by her own intellect. Subjectified by the orgasm she had had lying across that desk, and her subsequent orgasms under her own hand. She was turned on thinking about it. She finished her shower and with the water still running, shoved three fingers into her pussy and with the palm of her hand applied pressure in circles. She began breathing heavily and braced herself on the wall of the shower. She came right as the water was starting to cool.

She toweled off and went to her closet. She selected a loose but gauzy peasant blouse, white, a lace camisole and her colorful batik skirt. It was longer than the black linen one she had worn last time, but lighter and made of crinkle cotton. In her college days, she would have put worn bangles with bells on her ankles, but not anymore. For panties she selected a pair of stretchy cotton bikini briefs, blue. She had sensible tastes, not very exciting.

It was still winter, which for the North Coast meant that it was dark and wet, but the ocean had a moderating effect on the temperature, so she walked to Brian's house in bare legs, sandals, and her parka.

Again, he greeted her on the porch with, "How nice to see you! Glad you could make it!" and then brought her inside. This time, he helped her with her jacket and took her by the elbow to the dining room, which was through the living room on the right. Brian lived in an old house; the dining room and living room were separated by French doors. He invited her to sit down at the table, at the place to the right of the head. He had laid the table with plain white china and silver, and had lit candles. "My mother's," he said about the place settings. Her served her angel hair pasta with sautéed vegetables. "I thought you might be vegetarian," he said, and poured her a glass of white wine.

"Not always," she answered. She had no appetite. He leaned back, smiling under half-lidded eyes.

"Not hungry? Or just nervous?"

She shrugged.

"You should be nervous," he said.

Adina took a sip of wine.

"So tell me about your story, 'Meg, Chris and Me.' Did that really happen, too, or did you just make that up?"

Adina blushed.

"Oh, it happened? Like that?"

Adina pretended to twirl some pasta on her fork.

Brian leaned into her face and said, "I asked a question. This is my scene."

"It wasn't quite like that," Adina answered.

"No? So tell me," Brian said. "Where were you? You had a lesbian girlfriend? You were traveling across country?"

"No..."

"So?"

In the story she had written, Adina had changed everyone's identity and made the threesome one male and two females. The women were on a cross-country trip from Massachusetts to California. In reality, she and Josh had been working as interpretive rangers in Yosemite, and shared housing with a slender, appealing young man with dreadlocks. Kevin. Kevin had been hired to do raptor and owl surveys. He and Josh climbed together frequently, when Josh and Adina weren't backpacking on their days off. On work days, all three of them shared making dinner, had people over, drank some, talked for hours, laughed. 

Towards the end of the season, they planned a four-night backpacking trip together south on the Pacific Crest Trail and then looping back past as many lakes as they could. The plan was to travel light and get in as many miles as possible, but they chose to bring a tent for warmth. Adina got cold at night above 10,000 feet. 

On the third evening, with sixty miles behind them, their tent pitched next to a small tarn enclosed by granite palisades, Josh was complaining that his back was sore, so Adina offered him a backrub. The tent made fairly close quarters; the light inside the blue walls of the tent was fading. They were all in long underwear and wool socks, lounging on their down sleeping bags. Kevin was writing in his journal with a headlamp. Adina tossed out, "You want one?" and Kevin said, "Sure." Adina straddled the tops of his legs and began rubbing his back through his thermal, but then pushed it up to get better purchase on his skin. "How about you?" Josh asked. "Ok," said Adina, and she lay face down on the down sleeping bags. Josh began rubbing her back, but then Kevin began massaging her calves. "Mmmmmm, that's nice, two men." 

They continued on like that for what must have been half an hour, Kevin moving up and down the backs of her legs, and then it was he who suggested Adina turn over. Adina stretched out on her back, eyes closed, and Josh began massaging her arms from her collarbones to her fingertips, and Kevin continued with her legs. Slowly, he got her to spread her knees. He must have looked at Josh, because then they traded places, Josh on her thighs and Kevin on the sides of her neck. Josh began working the inside of the tops of her thighs. Kevin began working his way further down the top of her chest, past her collar bones, and then she heard Kevin ask Josh, "May I?" Josh must have nodded; Kevin began kissing her ear and her neck, his breath warm. Josh worked his hand into the waistband of her long underwear, and then pulled them off. 

From there, they were all soon naked. The men took turns with their penises inside Adina. She would be making love to one; the other would be stroking her breasts. Each time she was about to cum, whoever was in her would withdraw and trade places. It seemed like they played around half the night before all three of them finally came and subsided into the downy warmth of their sleeping bags, a tangle of naked arms and legs. Adina woke that morning with Kevin's head between her legs and Josh sucking her nipples. Hunger finally drove them out of the tent. Naked, they splashed in the freezing tarn, ate breakfast, and returned to staff housing at Tuolumne Meadows. That was the craziest thing she and Josh had ever done. They only had two more weeks of the season after they returned from the Pacific Crest Trail; she and Josh had sex almost every night after that, occasionally asking Kevin to join them on nights when he was not surveying for owls. It was invigorating to them as a couple.

"I never told anyone that story. And I don't know what's become of Kevin."

Brian listened and his cock was hard inside his pants. He continued to eat dinner; Adina continued to pretend to eat. Finally he said, "Finish your wine. Go upstairs. Take your clothes off and lie down on the bed, facedown. Wait for me. Get yourself ready, and by that I mean I want you spanking your clit or whatever it is that's going to get you wet. When you hear me coming, you get your butt in the air."

Adina walked up the stairs, and found the bedroom across the hall from the study where she had been the month before. The bedroom was uncluttered and warm. It was lit by one lamp. Adina put her clothes on the armchair and lay down on the bed as instructed. She wondered how long she would have to wait. She put her cheek on a pillow, turned her head to the side, and put her hand on her clit.

Downstairs, Brian listened to her moving around and heard the bed creak a little as she got onto it. He planned to make her wait at least ten minutes. He finished his glass of wine, and walked heavily up the stairs so that she would hear him coming.

He opened the door and found her as he had asked. Her hand was cupped over her pussy, her middle finger moving in the slit. She was facing away from him.

"Look at me," he commanded.

She turned her head on the pillow, pulled her curly hair out of her eyes.

"You know," he said, "one of the things about being a modern disciplinarian in the schools is that you never lay a hand on the children. I agree with that. Sometimes, though, it's important to enforce boundaries, and you have clearly stepped over them with your whorish behavior (even if it is just on-line). You were asking for it, but I want to hear you say it."

Adina looked at him.

"Say it."

"Say what?"

"Say, 'Spank me, Brian.'"

"I'm sorry...I don't think I can."

"Say, 'Spank me, Brian.'"

Adina sat up and said, "I'm going, I don't care what you do, I'm leaving town."

Brian's grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her face down on the bed. His cock leapt with her resistance.

"You're taking this until you beg me to stop," he said. He held her down between her shoulder blades ("...again," Adina thought) and smacked her ass. It was soft and round, but small. He was so satisfied he almost stopped right there, but then said, "I'm counting to ten, and we'll just go from there." He counted slowly, arrived at ten, and said, "Now you count to ten."

Adina was hiding her face in her arms. He was hurting her; she had never been spanked, not even as a child. He let go of her back and pulled her ass up. He smacked her. She said nothing.

"You count," he told her.

He smacked her again, but still she said nothing.

Brian spread her ass cheeks and slid his finger across her anus, pressing it and feeling its resistance. She jerked and cried out, "Please no."

He said, "Then count."

He smacked her again.

She whispered, "One."

He held her around her waist, facing her feet, and smacked her past ten to fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and finally she croaked, "Ok, ok, enough...enough."

"Your ass is so red," he told her. "It might even be bruised tomorrow. Or at least chapped. You can think of me." Her eyes were closed.

He put his finger in her slit, and dipped it into her pussy. She was dry as a desert. She hadn't enjoyed it. "Oh well," he thought, "Win some, lose some, I'll get her back."

He was still hard, and with one arm still wrapped around her waist, he began to stroke her and caress her, licking and nibbling her ass. He felt the tension in her back relax, and felt her press her pussy into his hand. He increased the pressure and searched again inside her folds, where he found the barest amount of moisture. Slowly he brought her back, like coaxing a wild animal to take food from your hand, making her wetter and wetter. He released her waist and undid his buckle and pants. Tonight he paused to pull a condom out of the drawer, and rolled it on.

Again Adina felt his cock waiting at the lips to her pussy. This time, he seemed to be waiting for her. Her ass was still stinging. She spread her lips with her fingers and nudged herself onto the head of his cock. Tonight he entered her slowly, a little bit more, then retreated, then pushed a little further, until he was finally inside. He reached around her to play with her breasts. They moved together and apart. He watched her tense her body and felt her pussy cum in waves, which sent him over the edge. He collapsed over her back and felt her sighing. He pulled out, pulled her into spooning with him, and cupped her breast. He flicked her nipple and bit her shoulder.

"Don't fall asleep," he said. "I'm sure the neighbors are watching."

She sat up. Again, she was undressed, and he was wearing clothes. She climbed off the bed, and began to dress. He watched her with his head resting on his arms.

"You're pretty cute," he said. "How come I didn't notice you all of these years?"

"You're not really my type," she said, pulling on her pink camisole.

"What is your type?" he asked.

"Josh was my type," she said.

"I never met him," Brian said. "What was he like?"

"Not like you," she said, slipping on her sandals.

"Is he the only one you ever had sex with besides me?"

"You forgot Kevin," Adina answered.

"Just two before me?"

Adina shrugged.

Brian decided to cut his losses on the conversation. "Well, I've had a lovely time. I'll walk you down the stairs and see you Monday for sure."

He got off the bed, took her elbow and walked her down the stairs. He helped her into her Gore-tex coat, opened the door and said, "Drop by anytime!"

Adina walked home. Her ass still hurt. The cool air felt nice. She should have left her panties in her coat pocket.

Adina woke that Saturday to find that the night's excess had left her sexually depleted, but satisfied. It was a different feeling than what she had experienced when she was merely trying to hold her life together in her grief over Josh, before she witnessed the threesome of Katy, Michelle and Drew. She had felt sexually deadened after Josh died, and then in a total frenzy after spying on Katy. It was almost as if Brian had pushed her across some needed boundary, and calmed her down. She noted this in her journal, and wrote, "He said he would be my winter and my spring. It is still February. Does that mean he thinks he will keep this up through June? Do I want him to?" Adina paused, her pen in her hand above the page. She felt the word in her fingertips, but fought it. Finally she wrote, "Yes."

Writing "Yes," whispering it into her bedroom, gave her energy to get up and do all the chores she typically did on the Saturday that Dazi was in Eugene with her grandparents. She even went out to rent a video, and enjoyed relaxing that evening. She wondered what would come next.



Adina's Journey Ch. 03



Brian's e-mail came earlier than expected, just one week after he left her ass red from spanking it.

He wrote:

"Friday as planned, 6:00. You in thigh-highs and naughty push-up bra, no panties. Brazilian wax. That takes planning."

Adina had never considered waxing. She shaved to her bikini line, but didn't enjoy it much. She had to use Google to find the closest place. It would be a drive. One week before her date with Brian there was a Purim party at Josh's parents' synagogue. She arranged with them to visit again, this time to take Dazi to celebrate Purim. In the afternoon, Josh's mother planned to take Dazi to a children's theater production of "Pippi Longstockings", and Adina lied and said she was planning to go shopping with college friends.

Dazi dressed up as Queen Esther. Adina left the synagogue just as Dazi joined a game of chase; the children were getting wild with the excitement of costumes and access to so many cookies. She said she planned to pick up Dazi at Josh's parents in four hours.

Lacking any creativity about lingerie shopping, Adina had decided simply to go to Victoria's Secret at Valley River Center, hoping she wouldn't run into anyone she knew from college. So many of her circle of friends had remained in Eugene; it was a liberal college town close to both the mountains and the coast, and not as big as Portland or Seattle.

Adina hated shopping. Most of her clothes came from thrift stores; the nicest things she ordered on-line. She knew that she couldn't order a bra on-line, however. Walking into Victoria's Secret made her aware of her own secret. How strange to have gone to religious services with her former parents that morning, to have made all the prayers, dressed so modestly, a young widow, with Brian and his threats to her job and home hanging over her head, and her plans to modify her appearance that afternoon.

Adina made her selections, a pair of black lacy thigh high stockings and a black lace bustier. She planned to wear it strapless.

The waxing was a surreal experience, but the beautician was both kind and chatty. Adina's mental preparation for lying down on a table to expose her genitals in front of someone was that it would be similar to being at the gynecologist's, but it was more like being at a beauty parlor (except that ripping out her pubic hair was not painless). The advice Adina had read about aftercare mentioned not wearing tight panties; Adina put on a pair of Josh's silk boxers that she had never gotten rid of after he died. They slipped over her nakedness; as such, she was a little abrupt with his parents when she went to get Dazi. No, they did not want to stay the night before driving back to the coast, no she did not want to stay for dinner, thank you for looking after Dazi, she seems like she had a great day, goodbye.

******************************

At six o'clock the following Friday, Adina was walking through the spring dusk listening to the robins singing. Six o'clock in March meant that night had not quite fallen. Adina felt completely exposed wearing her stockings, bustier and no underwear. Her gauzy blue skirt swirled around her legs and brushed her bare mound. She had students in this neighborhood. She hoped they were all indoors playing video games.

Brian invited her in, the table set as before. This evening he had prepared sole, delicately poached in butter and white wine, with a salad of spring greens dressed only with lemon juice and olive oil. He seated Adina at the table and began telling her about his college years and what had brought him to their town to teach. Adina perched on the edge of her chair and nodded and said "Mmm hmmm," at appropriate times. He was more interesting than she had supposed; he had spent a semester in Benin, Africa. Her hair was up in a French twist; Adina moved a wisp that had come loose over her ear and said, "What was Benin like?"

He described the children he had met, a village he had been to. She listened attentively and hoped that she was not making a wet spot on the back of her skirt without any panties on. She could feel the bustier gripping her ribs.

Eventually, with half her food eaten, Brian sent her upstairs.

"Lie down on the bed on your back. Prop yourself up with the pillows. Spread your legs. I want you masturbating when I come in. Leave your lingerie on."

Adina climbed the stairs, entered the bedroom, and then removed her skirt and blouse. She sat on the edge of the bed, and then swung her legs up. She drew her knees up and then let them fall to the sides, feeling the cool air on her completely naked and exposed pussy. The lights in the bedroom were bright.

She heard Brian coming up the stairs; he didn't come straight to the bedroom. To Adina it sounded like he made a turn into his office. A moment later he appeared in the doorway, a digital camera in his hands.

Adina closed her legs and sat up. "I don't think so," she said.

"Think again, Dina. My way, not yours. Spread your legs and get busy."

Adina looked away.

"Now," he said.

Slowly she lay back down, looking over her right shoulder to the window, which was covered with a translucent curtain; it had gotten dark since she arrived. Her legs were still closed.

"Open up," he said. "These pictures aren't going anywhere. They're just for me. For fun."

Adina's knees were drawn up to her ass and her arms were crossed in front of her chest; nothing to see. She wouldn't look at him.

Brian sat down in the armchair facing the foot of the bed. He set the camera on the dresser and said, "Give me some action. Spread your legs and show me that pussy, or I'm flipping you and spanking you again."

Slowly Adina let her knees fall open. Brian's cock got hard and strained against his pants. He wasn't planning on taking it out until he made Adina bring herself to orgasm. He admired the way the black thigh high stockings and bustier framed the creamy whiteness of her bare hips, pussy and ass. It was going to be painful to wait for her, but worth it.

"Use those fingers. Open those lips."

Adina did as he said, still staring past the curtains out the window. Slowly she began pretending to masturbate again, a tight knot in her stomach. Her fingers were doing all her favorite things, but her mind was spinning and she couldn't get her body to respond.

Brian could see the stiffness in her shoulders. She was nervous again.

"Dina, you are so hot," Brian said.

She looked at him. The camera was still on the dresser, and he was rubbing his bulge under his pants.

"Just what I was hoping for," he said. "Would you pull your tits out of the top of your bra?"

Adina did so.

"Play with them," he said.

Adina began to rub her nipples lightly.

"I like that," said Brian.

Adina tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling. She sighed, one hand on her nipples, the other back on her pussy. She dipped a finger between her lips and found herself wet. She drew the wetness in circles around her clit, and began to feel bold. 

Brian saw the tension leave her shoulders, watched her breathing push her tits up and down. Quietly he reached for the camera.

"Dina," he said quietly. "Look at me."

Adina raised her head and saw he was aiming the camera at her.

"Shhhh," he said quietly. "You can enjoy this."

Adina heard the snick of a picture. The exposure excited her. She looked at Brian with half-closed eyes, a hint of a smile around her mouth.

"Mmm," said Brian. "You are so sexy. Can you open your mouth a little?"

Adina began to enjoy the stimulation she was giving herself, and the attention Brian was giving her. She let her knees fall against the bed and began to pump her fingers in and out of her wet pussy.

"I like that," said Brian, continuing to snap photos.

Adina began to roll her hips.

"I really like that," Brian said. "Look at the camera, okay?"

Adina was breathing hard, her breasts heaving above her bustier. Brian took picture after picture. He directed her poses, on her back, holding her legs under her knees, on her hands and knees, looking at the camera over her shoulder, her fingers rubbing and circling, pulling her ass cheeks apart to so he could see both holes.

"Spank your pussy," Brian said. Adina gave herself a few slaps.

Just when she was getting very excited, he got up and moved to the dresser. Adina paused, watching. Brian opened a drawer and pulled out a large dildo, shaped like a penis but flat black in color.

"I want you to try this," Brian said.

The dildo was thick, not very long, and made of silicone. He passed it to her, his hand brushing hers as she took it. The light hairs on her arms stood up.

Adina settled into the pillows at the head of the bed, aimed the dildo at her pussy, and let herself open to it. She had never used toys before, even in the months after seeing Katy use a strap-on on Michelle. She began to pump it slowly in and out. Her feet were flat on the mattress, her knees towards the ceiling.

"Open yourself up a little more," Brian asked.

Adina spread her knees wider, and began to lift her hips to meet the thrust of the dildo. She played with her tits with one hand, and lost herself. Her eyes closed. She began to moan and pant.

Brian knew she was close. He set his camera to the video setting without saying anything, and let her ride the wave until it came crashing around her. Her hips bucked under hand, her eyes were tightly shut. She left the dildo deeply embedded in her pussy and sank down on the mattress. Her feet were spread eagled and her hand toyed lightly with her clit. He watched the wave of delicious tension in her body slowly recede. She sighed deeply, and opened her eyes.

Brian set the camera aside for a moment and said, "That was so hot, Dina. I'm as hard as a rock." He unbuckled his belt, undid his pants and pulled his cock out of his boxers. Adina had never seen it; both times before he had fucked her from behind and dressed before she could turn around and see him naked. It was huge, much bigger than her dead husband's (but she knew that already).

"Come here," he said, his legs spread wide against the sides of the chair.

Adina sat up, removing the dildo, and went to him.

"Get on your knees," he said.

She knelt between his thighs, and was about to take his cock in her hand when he said, "Put your mouth on it."

Adina looked up at his face.

"I need release," he said. He put his hand on the back of her head and spread his fingers across her skull. He applied very light pressure, nothing like when he shoved her down on his desk in the office. Adina let him guide her to the tip of his penis. She laid it against her cheek and felt how smooth the skin of the glans was. She opened her mouth, and put her lips around it.

Her touch was completely distracting to him; she put her hand around the base of the shaft and was licking and sucking the top. Force of will allowed him to take the camera from the dresser so he could begin to shoot pictures of the top of her head, her nose and her cheekbones, the base of his cock. Shooting was somewhat difficult; he wanted to keep one hand on the back of her head just to keep her in place so she wouldn't bolt. He wanted to give her the message she couldn't leave.

"Look up at me," he said.

She looked up, her eyebrows arched, her lips surrounding his cock, her cheeks hollow. He snapped a few more pictures and then set the camera aside. He needed this. For a moment he let his arms rest over the edges of the arm chair, but then he reached into her hair and pulled out the comb that was pinning her hair in place. He buried his fingers in her curls and pressed her head into his lap. He was close.

Adina wanted to remove her mouth to breathe; her face was getting wet with her own saliva as she sucked and licked. She had never spent this long on oral sex with Josh; oral sex had always been just a prelude to intercourse. Josh had never put his hands on her in that way. She felt the pressure on the back of her head release slightly; she backed off his cock but he pushed her forward again. She licked up and down the shaft, and put her mouth on his balls, sucking, licking and nibbling. He released the pressure on her head; she backed up and found him in her mouth again. Her arms were supporting her on his thighs; she felt his tension build and realized he was going to cum in her mouth. She pushed her head back but he held her in place. She felt his cock twitch, felt it pumping between her lips, felt a warm, salty stream of ejaculate hit the back of her throat. She gagged. He released her and she staggered back to the bathroom. He heard her spitting and the water running in the sink.

She was gone a few minutes. Brian relaxed in the armchair and felt mildly sleepy. When she came back out, still in those stockings and her bustier (she had tucked her breasts away), his cock roused him by getting semi-hard.

"You don't swallow?" he asked.

"I've never done that before," she said. "I wasn't ready. I thought you would fuck me."

"Sorry," he said, and felt semi-remorseful along with his semi-hard-on.

"Isn't that part of my punishment?" she asked.

"You could see it that way," he answered, and then continued, "But one more thing before you go. Sit on the edge of the bed."

She sat there, and crossed one leg over the over.

He got up from the chair and walked over to her at the edge of the bed, and knelt down in front of her. He picked up her leg under the knee and uncrossed it. Gently he pushed her legs apart and put his face next to her pussy.

"It's so smooth," he said. Slowly he began to rub his face over her lips, using his nose and tongue to separate the folds. He kissed her and began licking and sucking. He twirled his tongue around her clit and then spent several minutes making long strokes up and down her entire slit. Adina lay back on the bed, felt her hips begin to roll and buck, and came for the second time that night. Brian was hard again. He looked at her on the bed, her eyes closed in relaxation, and decided to fuck her, which hadn't necessarily been in his choreographed plans for the evening. He nudged her legs so that she was on the bed. He shoved his pants down and kicked them off, pulled his shirt over his head, found a condom in the bedside drawer and then entered her. He looked down at her from between his arms, and took a very long time to arrive at his second orgasm. She was flushed.

"You were too sexy and tempting," he said. "I had to get into you. Can you cum again?" He withdrew and put his hand between her legs. She nodded, and he stroked her until he could feel the waves of her orgasm.

"Do you want to stay the night?" he asked.

Adina considered. She had walked; there was no incriminating car. There was the problem about walking home the next morning in the same clothes (without panties) that she had worn the night before. If she stayed the night, what did it mean? Did it mean they were lovers, then, or would he still be blackmailing her?

"Another time," she said.

"All right," he answered. "Just let me say goodbye to that gorgeous bare pussy of yours for a minute." Again he put his head between her legs, kissing and licking. He withdrew, and said, "A few close-ups." He got his camera and put the lens between her legs, asking her to use her fingers to spread the lips and pull them. Finally he put the camera down, and kissed her pussy more. Adina could not believe herself; she was still aroused.

Brian said, "You want more, don't you?"

Adina nodded.

"I'm spent, but hang on...we can use the fake cock." He felt around for the dildo, found it under the pillows and thrust it into Adina over and over until she came for a fourth time. She was exhausted. Her legs were as tired as if she had just hiked twenty miles uphill under a forty pound backpack. Her pussy was somewhat sore.

"Well...you are beyond sexy," Brian said. "We'll just leave ourselves anticipating the future."

He helped her off the bed, handed her skirt and blouse to her and helped her into them, sighing as her ass disappeared under the fabric. He shrugged himself into his trousers and undershirt, spent a brief moment in the bathroom and walked her down the stairs. As she slipped through the open door he caught her elbow. Adina expected his cheerful, "How nice! See you on Monday!" rigmarole and was surprised when he drew her to his chest and leaned down to kiss her. His hands lightly spanned the distance from her collar bones to the back of her skull. She responded to his kiss, leaning into chest.

When she turned to go she was surprised that he followed her. "I'll walk you home," he said.

It was midnight when Adina finally found herself in her own bedroom. She stripped off the lingerie, fell naked into bed and slept deeply until late the next morning.



Adina's Journey Ch. 04



Adina opened Brian's e-mail. As always, it was short, and imperative.

"Get a touch up on the wax job a week before I see you."

Again, that week coincided with another holiday, Passover, which she and Dazi would spend at Josh's parents' house. First Seder was on a Wednesday night. His parents were hosting several other families, including one with a single son in the biotech industry close in age to Adina. Josh's parents were trying to set her up from afar. Adina would take a personal day off school for religious purposes, and then half the synagogue would get together for a potluck Seder the next night. Adina realized she could go back to the spa during her personal day, and reflected on the incongruity of celebrating freedom when preparing for another session as Brian's plaything.

During the First Seder, Adina tried to focus on the words of the haggadah and the biotech guy, who seemed friendly. Every year, Dazi sang the four questions and Josh's parents selected Adina to read the story about the Four Children and the questions they ask, because she was a teacher. If she wasn't crying because of Dazi singing the questions and how much she wished Josh could hear their daughter, she often cried thinking about the nature of the Four Children, from wise to arrogant to simple to unable to ask any questions. Was the last child a baby? Adina often wondered about the last child, thought of Dazi as the first child, remembered arrogant students as second child, and wished that she and Josh had produced more children before he died.

Adina thought it was unfair to always have to read about the Four Children; they always made her emotional, which she hated, even if Josh's parents thought it was charming. But this year she was so distracted by Brian and what he had done to her so far versus what could possibly be coming next that she almost felt robotic while reading. Adina peered at the illustrations on the page, hoping to find inspiration there, but didn't. Josh's parents looked a little alarmed that she wasn't crying over them as usual, and cast a worried glance from her to the biotech guy. He seemed interested in her anyway.

The evening ended; Adina traded numbers with the biotech guy for the sake of appearances (Josh's parents were hovering). She would see him the following evening at the potluck.

Returning home late Thursday evening, Adina found a flat package in her mailbox. It was a CD, with her address written in Brian's block letters. After putting Dazi to bed and fixing a plate of matzah with butter and salt, Adina took the CD up to her computer.

It was the pictures that Brian had taken of her almost a month before. He had edited them, tossing out blurry or poorly lit ones.

His note was short. It read, "Fucking hot. I jack off to these every night. The blackmail aspect gets me hard every time I think about it. See you in one week."

Adina blushed. She was extremely compromised with these pictures. How many places did he have them in? Brian's computer, surely, and this CD. She desperately hoped no place else.

There were no pictures of her looking mad or uncomfortable, as she had felt at the beginning. She looked completely wanton, like a practiced porn queen in her thigh highs and push-up bustier. Her knees were open, her fingers spreading the bare lips of her pussy. Her pussy was wide and wet. She was playing with her tits, spilled out of the bra, pushing back her hair, on her hands and knees, looking back over her shoulder with one hand cupped between her legs. She was spreading her ass cheeks and showing off her anus. She was shoving a dildo up her hole. Brian had taken a video of that, about five minutes long. She hadn't known. She was writhing on Brian's bed, really slamming herself with that dildo, panting and moaning. She could see she was about to come, kicking her legs, shuddering, her hips bucking, crying out with excitement. After that, he had asked her suck cock, and there were pictures and video of that, too. How he managed to hold the camera while holding the back of her skull so she couldn't escape his cock she had no idea.

She remembered the rest of that evening, after he had put the camera down, how he had given her oral sex until she came, how he fucked her for the first time face to face after that, and then fucked her with the dildo when it was clear she could take more and wanted to cum one last time. She remembered that he had walked her back to her house around midnight, and kissed her on her porch before leaving.

Adina pulled her nightgown up and her panties off. She set the pictures on slide show and masturbated to her own images until she came abruptly.

She was relaxing in the computer chair when her e-mail pinged.

She looked at it. Brian.

He wrote, "How do you like that CD? I know you're watching it. I'm outside your house in my car. Look out your window."

Adina went to the window, which looked out over the porch into the front yard. She saw Brian's car parked in the moonlight below her house. He was in the passenger seat with his laptop. He waved at her through the window. She saw him typing.

Her e-mail pinged again.

He wrote, "Flash your titties at me and then I'll go away."

She e-mailed back, "No. The neighbors might see."

He e-mailed, "I see they have their blinds closed."

Adina looked out the window again. Across the street, the nearest houses were dark and the curtains pulled. Two were vacation homes, with no one in them. She saw Brian's pale face through the window of his car watching her. She climbed onto the window seat. The window came down to her knees. She pulled the nightgown up to her shoulders, exposing not just her breasts, but also her slit, which she rubbed for his benefit. He gave her the thumbs up and then drove away. Adina had to masturbate again before she was settled enough to go to sleep.

Two days out from her next session (she couldn't think of them as dates), Brian came into her classroom. Again, it was a Wednesday night. Dazi was at her Girl Scout meeting; Adina was using the time to grade. He handed her a paper bag from the local drugstore.

"Open it at home," he said, and walked out.

Adina opened it as soon as he left and wished she hadn't. It was a box containing an enema kit. It could only mean one thing. She shoved it in her purse and zipped it shut.

Unable to concentrate, she left school, drove through the drive-through at Starbucks, and then to Dazi's Girl Scout leader's house. As soon as she was able to put Dazi to bed, she turned on her computer, clicked on her e-mail, and found Brian's note.

"Use Friday according to directions on the package. Come over to my house around the usual time. Bring an overnight bag with a change of clothes. You'll be tired and will want the option of sleeping over."

She e-mailed back, "No."

His reply came in seconds. "Look, Dina. We could do this the easy way or the hard way. I'm going to blow your mind taking your anal cherry. You'll love it, but you've got to consent and relax about it. The hard way is more painful, and I'll spank you too. See you Friday. Make sure you use that enema. You'll feel more confident." 

Included in his message was a link that took Adina to a site explaining tips for anal sex from the perspective of a number of women on a message board. "Trust your partner," they said. "You be the one in control," they also said. Adina read that, wondered if Brian thought she trusted him, and read the minutiae of the mechanics. She found herself curious.

He e-mailed back, "So?"

Adina e-mailed, "No."

"Why?"

"I don't have to have a reason for refusing."

"I'm just curious," he wrote back.

"Have you ever had anal sex?" she asked.

"Yes; not often enough. So why don't you want to try it?"

"That seems too hardcore," she wrote.

"Are you curious about it?"

Adina wrote back, "I never considered it."

"Are you curious about it now?"

"No," Adina lied.

"Well, trust me, I'll make it good."

He went off-line.

Friday, Josh's parents came to collect Dazi.

Alone in the house, Adina decided to try the enema first, and then shower. She felt humiliated lying on her side on the floor of her bathroom waiting for the urge to go, but it came, and then she got into the shower.

As she showered, she considered her feelings about anal sex. She had watched anal videos on YouPorn when she was sneaking around spying on Katy and horny has hell, but all of those women looked completely practiced, the male models sliding in easily. What she wanted to see was anal sex on someone real who hadn't had it yet. The video that Katy and Michelle had made was perfect; Katy got Michelle into a complete frenzy working on her pussy and then used the strap on and slowly, so extremely slowly, slid into Michelle's ass. Michelle had an incredible look of concentration on her face, which then relaxed into what was clearly pleasure once Katy was all the way in and using her hand on Michelle's pussy. 

Shampooing her hair, she thought about the article on Salon about the rise in anal sex among women her age, as well as all the commentary from women professing to crave anal sex. She considered feminist critiques of it. There were very few pro-sex feminists that she could find, which was frustrating, because Adina's experience of sex either with Josh or Brian didn't match what feminists had to say about it. "Rape is not about sex," they wrote. "It's about power." Adina wondered, "What about orgasms?" So maybe because she'd cum that first night on Brian's desk while they were watching Katy use a strap-on to penetrate Michelle's ass, what he'd done to her wasn't really rape, but just a role-play. Yes, she admitted to herself, there was an element of coercion in what Brian was doing to her, but she was complicit. She didn't really think that he was going to go to the school board with her stories or her pictures. The way he got her out of her clothes was unconventional...yes, she had been nervous every time she went over to his house. He had never hurt her physically... except when he had spanked her, but then, after that, he brought her to orgasm. She'd cum every time she was with him, sometimes multiple times. She had a hard time reconciling rape with orgasm.

Adina decided to play it by ear and leave the door open to say yes to anal penetration. She was curious.

Naked, she considered what to pack, and chose a simple nightgown, some sweats, a t-shirt, and her running clothes. If she slept there, she could sneak out in the pre-dawn and be dressed as if she were training for that half-marathon in August, which she was training for anyway. She threw these into a small backpack, along with her toothbrush and contact lens case. She decided to wear her usual attire, without the sexy lingerie she had bought for her photo shoot, but just her normal cotton bikini panties and a cotton bra, under a loose blouse and another swirling skirt.

Brian greeted her at the door, smiled, and drew her inside. He took her backpack and set it on the bench under the coat rack. He caught her shoulders and drew her close, continuing with the kiss he had begun there the month before. The fresh outdoor smell that had come in when he opened the door clung to her hair. Adina tilted her head back and opened her mouth to his. He cupped her ass and pressed her to his crotch, where she could feel how hard he was.

He said, "I could fuck you on the rug right here, but this evening is all about you. Are you hungry, or shall we wait on that?"

Adina said, "No...I couldn't eat."

"I'll make you hungry. It's going to be a long evening," he answered. "Let's go upstairs."

He held out his hand, and Adina took it, feeling childish. He led her upstairs to the bedroom, and turned to her and kissed her again, nibbling her ear and neck. Adina tipped her head.

"Can we start now?" he asked.

Adina shrugged.

"None of that," he said. "Let's start with a backrub. Do you like those?"

"Sure," said Adina.

Again, he held her body close to his, rubbing his groin into her, and then running his hands over her breasts. He undid the buttons at the top of her blouse and pushed it back off her shoulders. He bent and kissed her collarbones, and pushed the fabric of her bra aside and took a nipple between his teeth, very gently. Licking it with his tongue, he undid the clasp at the back, and slid her bra off. He held her at arms' length, and then cupped both her breasts, flicking his thumbs lightly over his nipples.

"You are so perfect. You feel so nice," he said.

Adina looked up into his face.

"Do you like that?" he asked.

Adina nodded.

Brian slipped her skirt and panties down with one sweep. She kicked her sandals off and stepped out of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Brian ran his hands from her shoulders to the outside of her knees, kneeling in front of her. He coaxed her knees apart and put his face right in front of her pussy, breathing deeply.

"You are a beautiful woman, Dina," he said, and then leaned in to kiss her bare folds.

Adina shoved her hips to meet his face.

He took his tongue and played with her clitoris, but then pulled back and said, "We're getting ahead of ourselves."

He stood up again, took her hand (which still made Adina feel very young), and led her to the edge of the bed.

"Lie down here," he said. "I'll give you a backrub."

Adina lay face down on the bed, supporting her head on her arms.

Brian removed his clothes and he stood before her, naked, his penis pointing towards the ceiling. From the bedside table he removed a bottle of almond massage oil. He straddled her thighs and began with her shoulders. She could feel his balls on her ass.

She remembered the first time she and Josh had finally had sex. That had also begun with a backrub, and Brian's attention to her shoulders, and his recent attitude of showing more respect for her, made her heart ache for Josh again. She shut her eyes and wondered for the thousandth time, the hundred thousandth time, what if he hadn't gone climbing that weekend? What if she had insisted that he stay home? What if they had talked longer on the pay phone after he and his friends had had lunch in that diner, just minutes before that car crossed the center line and killed him? 

Adina and Josh had met in a summer program in Israel in high school. Nothing had happened there, of course (they were kept very busy and highly supervised). They had so much in common, a love of science, the outdoors, their faith and politics. They kept in touch with handwritten letters and e-mail (this was in the early 1990s, before cell phones, texting and facebook). They chose the same college. Adina's parents were alarmed that she wanted to go to some obscure state school in Oregon, but she insisted. She had to call them every night until she finally rebelled and told them she'd call them every other night. Nowadays, she and Dazi simply called to talk to them once a week.

They took science classes together, passed silly notes when the lecture was boring, organized study groups and attended Shabbat dinners with Hillel. They went to evening guest lectures. They heard Lynn Margulis speak and debated the validity of the Gaia Hypothesis. Adina thought it was silly but Josh was swayed by the biology and chemistry of an oxygenated atmosphere. They studied at a large table in the library until midnight most nights of the week, and then Josh would walk her back to her dorm under the starry fall sky and the bigleaf maples. 

Adina remembered how charged every date was with Josh. Both of them were virgins, neither of them sure how long they should wait. Both of them came from families that had given them tacit pressure to wait, if not for marriage, then at least to wait for someone very special. Adina was certain it was Josh. They had said nothing to each other as of November. So far, they had held hands and kissed. Josh would rub his hands up and down Adina's shoulders and back, and she could clasp his waist and hold tight to him. Once when Adina's roommate was out, they had lain on Adina's bed and kissed and put their hands under each other's t-shirts, just on their stomachs and backs, nothing more. Adina's roommate had returned too soon. They were both terribly shy, and had not dated in high school. 

One night Josh passed a note across the table in the library. It was a Saturday, two weeks before Thanksgiving.

Adina was deep into Thoreau's Walden. She glanced up, unfolded the note.

It said, "Sex?"

She looked across the table. Josh was working on a problem set of redox reactions for General Chemistry and refused to look up. His cheeks were very red.

She wrote back, 

-What about SEX?

She watched him while he wrote his reply. He wasn't looking at her. He pushed the note across the table with his pencil poised over his problem set.

-Do you want to try it?

-What did you have in mind?

-Sex.

-This is going in circles.

-I would like to try it. I love you.

-Wow.

-Do you want to try it?

-I don't know.

-Ok.

-What did you have in mind?

-Tonight? Tony's out of town this weekend.

-Um.

-We don't have to.

-Well. To be honest...

-Yes?

-I want to...I think.

-Are you sure?

-I think so.

-I really love you. Why do you only think so?

-It seems like a big thing.

-I can wait. I'm sorry to surprise you out of the blue.

-Were you thinking...NOW?

-I was just thinking that my roommate is gone. And you look so pretty concentrating on Thoreau.

-Gee, thanks.

-Well, I have plenty to accomplish with this chemistry. Nevermind.

-Do you have condoms?

-Tony said I could use his.

Adina read his last message and hissed, "You TALKED about this with him?"

Josh looked up from his problem set, on which he'd accomplished next to nothing, and whispered, "Dina, no. I'm sorry. He keeps them in his drawer and told me to help myself if I ever wanted."

Dina frowned. She said, "I have read the same paragraph in Walden five times now. Shall we go on a walk?"

They packed up their books and papers into their backpacks, and exited. It was dark, and cold, but not raining. They took the long circuit around campus, and found themselves sitting on an abstract sculpture made of basalt. The full moon glinted off the frames of his glasses.

Josh turned to face her. "I'm sorry, Dina. I don't know how to talk about sex. But I should have talked, instead of passing notes."

"How long have you been wanting to have sex with me?" Adina asked.

"Honestly?" Josh asked.

"Of course," Adina answered.

"Since Israel two years ago."

"Oh," she said. "You think of me that way?"

"Is that good or bad?" Josh asked. He ran a hand through his dark mop, hoping for the best.

"I'm sorry, Josh, to make you doubt...I...there are so many conflicting messages. I..."

She paused. Josh said nothing, holding his breath.

"I...I love you."

"I love you too. I should have said that aloud, not in a note."

Adina looked at him. "I love you...very much. I'm out here in Oregon because of you. I...you should hear my mother's voice in my head. You should hear these women in my women's studies classes."

"What do they say?" asked Josh.

"My mother...she says wait. These women in women's studies...they say that all sex is a constructed act of gender domination...they say biology is not destiny...they say the personal is political...they say they've all been raped and that all sex with men is rape...I have no experience...what do I know?"

"I don't know anything," said Josh.

Adina smiled.

"Those women are not you. Why are they denying something so basic to who we are as a species?"

"I don't know...something must have gone wrong for them."

"Has anything ever gone wrong for you?"

Adina answered, "No. I guess I am one of the lucky women statistically. You should hear these statistics, Josh..."




Adina's Journey Ch. 04



"Really?"

"No...I don't want to quote them. They are depressing."

"Shall we walk again?"

"Ok," Adina stood up.

Josh took her hips into his hands and leaned in to kiss her.

She lifted her face and murmured, "I love you," into his cheek.

His breath was warm on her ear. "I love you."

They stood on the walk next to the sculpture, under a maple, kissing.

"Some walk," Adina laughed.

"Shall we just walk around the campus again?"

"Ok," Adina said. She turned to walk counterclockwise, taking Josh's hand. They would arrive at his dorm before hers if they walked in that direction. She had made her decision, but was still too shy to say anything blatant.

In ten minutes they passed the corner of his dorm. At the door, Adina stopped and tugged on Josh's arm.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

Josh leaned down to kiss her again, and took her up the stairs to the third floor, and down the hall, around a corner, down another hall, until finally they were at his door. He unlocked it.

It was around ten in the evening, early for them to leave the library. Josh turned on a desk lamp. The room was not terribly tidy. Adina didn't really care.

They sat on the edge of the bed, kissing, their backpacks and jackets dropped at their feet. Josh put his arms around her shoulders and leaned back until they were lying on the bed. Adina kicked her Converse off. He unbuttoned her flannel and pulled her t-shirt over her head, pulling his off next. Adina was simultaneously distracted by the expanse of their soft skin, and the sensitivity of her breasts.

They spent some time entwined together, exploring their naked upper bodies.

"Ready?" Josh whispered.

Adina nodded.

He unbuttoned the fly on her 501s, tugged them over her hips, and then removed his.

Still in their underwear, Josh pulled her hips on to his. She felt his size and how hard he was against her crotch. His hand was exploring the curve of her bottom. He nudged her onto her front, and began a backrub, one that began at her shoulders and moved over her back and buttocks and down her legs, even to the soles of her feet.

Eventually, Adina remembered, naked on Brian's bed, Josh had unclasped her bra, slid her panties down, removed his boxers, and eventually, somehow, she had guided him inside her, they had moved together, and had their first orgasm in front of another human being. It had been profound, and hugely distracting. Staying until midnight at the library lost its appeal and then the search was on for private spaces on a crowded campus. One of those private spaces had included the deep shadows made by the tall pieces in the basalt sculpture. Later, of course, they had married, had Dazi, and then he had died.

"You're thinking of Josh," Brian said.

"Yes, I was," said Adina.

Brian was working on the small of her back. "How many years were you together?"

"We met when we were sixteen. We started dating in college...married right after college, and Dazi was born about three years later. We were together twelve years, if you start from when we met."

Brian added oil to his palms and began massaging her glutes. "I've never lost anyone so permanently," he said.

"Why aren't you with anyone?" Adina asked.

"She left," said Brian.

"Why, because you're an asshole?"

"I'm sure that's it. She was from Arizona. She was in computers when I got this job. She could telecommute three days of the week and go into the Silicon Forest the other two days. She kept a studio. She didn't like the rain on the coast. I didn't like her boy toy that she was keeping at the studio."

"What was her name?" Adina asked.

"Karen."

"Are you still in touch?"

"Oh yeah, we're great friends on facebook."

"For real?"

Brian moved to the top of her right thigh.

"Yes, for real. She's gone back to Arizona. Very tan. She got married to the jerk I caught her in bed with one weekend...I guess she didn't get my message that I was planning on visiting. They have a two year old."

Brian was squeezing and flattening her hamstrings, crossed over her knee, and began to rub her calf.

"Do you want kids?" Adina asked.

"Yeah...I would."

"Do you have any particular mate in mind?"

Brian stopped completely and sat back on his heels next to Adina's left flank. The conversation had taken a completely unexpected and unwelcome turn. He lost his erection.

"Let's focus back on you in the here and now," he said, adding oil to his hands and massaging her left leg from the top down, tempted to slap her hard across her ass. He didn't.

"Ok," said Adina. "Nevermind." (She thought to herself, "Score!" for getting beyond some of his barriers.)

Brian straddled her body again, facing her feet, letting his cock brush against her ass as he picked one foot up. His thumbs moved together from each side across the soles of her foot. The soft skin of her ass made him forget the questions she asked. He picked up the other foot, dipping his balls onto her body, rocking over her and feeling himself get hard.

He gently placed her foot back on the bed and stretched out next to her, letting his cock drift past her hip. She was still lying face down on the bed, her head on her arms, looking the other way. He dropped a hand between her thighs and pulled them apart. He rubbed circles on her ass, and noticed when she moved one leg further out. He let his fingers brush by her labia, and felt her push back against his hand. He made light circles and then dipped his finger inside her pussy. She was wet.

He flipped her and buried his face in her bare folds. He pushed her knees up and out. She was spread wide to him. She felt him, warm and wet on her folds. He was sucking her clit, licking her up and down. He pushed his fingers into her hole, pushing against the muscles of her opening. She felt him withdraw. His face moved down to her perineum. He was licking and kissing and blowing on her perineum while his hand played with her clit. Adina rocked her hips. He pushed her knees wider and pulled her ass cheeks apart. He was licking her asshole. Adina felt his tongue against the tight muscles and would have jerked her knees closed, but he put his hands up and kept them wide.

"Shh," he said. "Do you like this?"

Adina nodded, her eyes closed.

Brian lapped at her cleft, his fingers playing with her pussy.

"Play with your tits," he said. He moved his tongue back to her clit and slid a hand under her ass, rubbing circles around her asshole and watching her play with her tits.

She pushed her hips up to meet his face. He used his chin to put pressure on her pussy, and then slid himself up between her legs so that his cock was brushing against her labia.

She put her hand around his cock and put it at the door to her vagina. He slid in and fucked her slowly until he felt she was about ready to cum. He withdrew, paused for a moment to get the lube out of the bedside table, and then slid back down so that his mouth was at her pussy. He pushed her knees out and up, and while circling her entire vulva with his mouth, added lube to her ass and his finger. Again he rubbed her crack, making circles around her asshole, pushing on it but not entering her, working her clit as fast as possible with his darting tongue.

Adina's hips were rolling and she started to pant and moan. Brian pushed his fingers into her pussy; she began whimpering, and he felt her cum on his hand. His penis twitched in anticipation of what he planned. Slowly he withdrew his fingers, and pulled himself up to the pillows, holding her body next to his. He felt her begin to relax and heard her breathing slow.

Adina felt Brian's cock hard against her hip. She felt his arm around her chest and his breath on her shoulder. She felt warm and sleepy. Brian let her drowse but then woke her up by rubbing her nipples, spanning the distance between them with one hand.

"Ready for more?" he asked.

"Kay..." she answered, and yawned.

Brian continued playing with her nipples and then made circles over her abdomen until his hand reached the top of her slit. He cupped her pussy, pressing it so that her entire vulva moved under the pressure of his palm. His cock was sandwiched between her ass cheeks.

He rolled her over onto her front and covered her body with his. He straddled her thighs and again began to rub her back, down to her ass, down one leg, up the other, pushing her thighs apart. He knelt between her legs and pulled her hips up, pressing his face into her pussy, pushing his fingers into her hole. He licked from her pussy past her perineum, and spread her ass.

"Do you think you can try it?" he asked softly.

"I think so," she answered.

Brian massaged her ass cheeks and then reached for the lube.

"I am going to go very, very slow. You let me know if you're ready for more or to stop."

Brian took the lube and spread it all over her cleft and his finger. He put his index finger on her asshole and pressed lightly. Adina hesitated a moment, and then pressed back on his finger, bearing down. Brian slipped his finger to his first knuckle, and used his other hand to play with her clit.

"Like that?" he asked.

"I think so," she answered.

Steadily but slowly he pushed his finger in farther, playing with her pussy the whole time. Adina's ass was in the air, her head and shoulders against the bed. She was turned so she could see Brian if her eyes had been open. She was concentrating.

Brian felt her muscles gripping his finger and could hardly wait to get his cock into her asshole. He forced himself to go slowly, thrusting his finger in and out, feeling her tight ass become more and more pliable, hearing her breathing quicken. He leaned in and nibbled her cheeks. He withdrew his finger and pressed in again with two fingers, gently rotating them against the resistance of her sphincter like a potter opening clay on a wheel.

Adina took both fingers well. She began moving her hips back and forth, mirroring Brian's movements. She was moaning softly.

Brian kissed and nibbled her ass and asked, "Are you ready?"

Adina opened her eyes and looked into his face. She nodded.

"Get your hand going on your pussy," he instructed.

Brian backed off and added lube to his cock and more lube to her asshole. He positioned himself behind her and pushed his cock against her hole. She pushed back, and he felt her open to him. The pressure on the glans was everything he had been waiting for. He held her hips and could feel the vibrations from her hand as she worked her clit. She was whimpering.

"I'll go only as far as you push back," he said.

She answered by lifting her ass to him. Brian spread her ass and pushed deeper and waited, then pushed, inch by inch, until he was buried in her. She gasped from the fullness.

He was distracted by how good it felt, how much he'd missed doing this to Karen, but asked, "Different?"

Adina's answer was a short, "Yes."

"Do you like it?"

She answered, "Yes."

"Dina, I wanted this." With nothing more he wanted to say, Brian began rocking his hips, feeling Adina rising and falling under him, feeling her cheeks collide with his hips watching the flesh of her ass shake with every thrust.

Adina felt him thrusting in and out in a location wholly different from her experience. She felt excited and stimulated and also naughty. She could feel her orgasm build, and knew it would be intense. She went over the edge crying and moaning.

Brian felt the waves of her orgasm throughout her body, feeling them crash and subside over his cock. He grabbed the flare of her hipbones and pulled her ass into him and moved to his own rhythm, hard and fast. He pounded her and shot his load deep into her asshole, feeling his cock pumping into her. Breathless, he leaned over her back, and pulled her down to spoon with him, his cock still inside her.

He reached around and cupped her empty pussy. He bit her shoulder and ran his hand up and down her torso, over her breasts, massaging her neck lightly.

"Did you like that?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You didn't think you would," he said.

"It seemed too kinky to consider, before," she said.

He slid out of her and offered her a shower. She accepted and he climbed in with her, soaping her body, playing with her tits and getting her aroused again. This time she sank down in front of him and took him in her mouth. He was surprised. She looked up at him with a small smile around his cock, and then swallowed him as far as she could, cupping his balls and squeezing the base of his shaft. He took it, feeling the warmth of her mouth, her tongue darting in and out of hole on the tip of his glans. He took a long time cumming; he turned the shower spray down to keep the water warm. He braced his hands on the wall in concentration. He looked down at her bobbing on his cock, freely this time. Her curly hair was wet and her skin was shiny. She could tell he was about to cum. She didn't leave; she was ready. She swallowed when he shot his load into the back of her throat.

"Dina," he said. "God."

She stood up, rinsed her mouth using the shower water, and he kissed her, fingering her pussy, rubbing her asshole.

"Do you want to cum again?" he asked.

She leaned into him, pressing her breasts against his chest. "I can wait," she said. "You made me cum twice already."

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"I'm ravenous," she said.

When she got out, he dried her with the towel, paying attention to each finger and toe, kissing the inside of her knee, up her thigh, to her pussy. She pulled on her sweats and a feminine t-shirt, braless.

Downstairs in the kitchen he prepared a simple dinner, raviolis which he tossed with caramelized onions, cherry tomatoes, basil, toasted pine nuts and Greek olives. They ate at the kitchen table. The nervousness of the three previous months gone, Adina ate heartily, which Brian was gratified to see.

"Are you going to stay the night?" he asked.

Adina set her wine glass down.

She said, "Yes, I will...but I want to leave early...before the sun comes up, in my running clothes...if you'd please bring my other clothes by later...the neighbors..."

"Can do. I understand."

He took the dishes and washed them while Adina sat at the table. She didn't offer to help. He didn't expect her to.

"Dessert?" he asked.

"I couldn't. Dinner. It was excellent. Have you always been a good cook?"

Brian said, "My mother taught me. I only cook like that when there's someone to cook for, though...Movie?"

Adina said, "No...I think you wore me out."

"How about a different type of dessert, then?" he asked.

"OK..." said Adina.

Brian led her back up stairs. Adina took a moment in the bathroom to brush her teeth and remove her contacts and then returned to Brian's bedroom. He was just finishing changing the sheets on the bed.

"I like clean sheets," he said.

Adina smiled at him. He walked around the bed to where she stood, and put his hands on her hips. He pushed her shirt over her head, and let it drop to the floor, and then pushed her sweats down to her feet, pausing to suck her tits and lick her slit on the way down. He led her to the bed. She sat on the edge and pushed his shorts down to his ankles. His cock was semi-hard.

He sat down next to her and drew her back, and then shifted so that they were yin and yang on their sides. She lifted her upper leg, bending it at the knee. He buried his face in the folds of her pussy and felt her take his cock in her mouth.

He paused, placing his hand over her mound to maintain contact with her, and asked, "Are we dating?" He went back to licking her slit, up one side and down the other, while he waited for her answer.

Adina took her mouth off his penis but still held it and said, "I'm not sure, Brian...I would have a hard time forgetting how we began this." She circled her tongue around the tip of his penis.

"Did you really think I would take your stories or all the pictures I took to the school board?" He put a finger in her pussy and made slow, pushing circles, nibbling on her clit.

"I wasn't sure...I didn't know...I was so hungry for sex...seeing Katy and Michelle fucking each other and fucking Drew made me want it in a way that I don't even remember when I was with Josh...and I'd suddenly been horribly exposed by you...I was upset and nervous and excited and confused...you're not really my type...or weren't..." She swallowed his cock and sucked on it, hard.

"Have you liked what we've done so far?" He went back to lapping at her labia, stroking her anus.

"It's beyond anything I would have imagined happening to me," she said. "You really crossed a lot of my boundaries." She moved her tongue up and down his shaft and sucked on his balls.

"There's more," he said, "if you want." He pushed another finger inside her. "I want more from you...you really turn me on..."

Adina swallowed his cock again, moved her hands to his ass to press him further into her face. She pulled with a lingering suck and paused. "There's a difference between this seduction and fucking you do and dating," she said.

Brian swirled his tongue around her clit, felt her hips circle in response and asked, "So what would you have in mind?"

Adina kept squeezing and stroking his cock. "...I don't know, Brian...something like...we go out for coffee and talk about ideas...or work...we go for a walk...I get to know your mind...we go out for dinner...people see us together...our students, their families...people from school..." She put her mouth back on the tip, kissing and licking.

"Is that what you want?" Brian pushed a third finger inside her pussy. Adina spread her legs further.

"I would if I got to know you and liked what I knew..." Adina's head was bobbing between his thighs.

Brian kept licking from the top of the slit down to where his fingers disappeared inside her folds. "Can we still have sex like this?"

Adina sucked on his cock, and stroked it while she talked. "...it's weird, Brian...at first I was scared of you exposing me...you put me in a position sexually that's so different than who I was with Josh...it made me understand a different side of myself...I like the way you made me feel...I can't believe you pushed me so far...I'm not sure it's me..."

"I make you feel good," Brian said.

"Mmmmmmm...you do..."

"I can meet you in your zone," he said. "We can have sex on your terms. We can date on your terms. There's no ifs, no strings...but I only hope you'll keep exploring with me." He slipped his smallest finger into her slit, all his fingers in a cone, feeling the warm walls of her vagina slipping over his knuckles rhythmically. He wanted her. Not tonight, but another night, if she were willing...there was so much more to experience, and he wanted to be the one who took her across those boundaries. 

"Let's just fuck for awhile," he suggested, and went back to sucking on her labia, flicking his tongue over her clit.

"Mmmmmmm," was all Adina managed. Her mouth was full of his cock.

They lay entwined for what to Adina seemed like hours, sucking, pumping hips, until he pulled out of her mouth.

"Fuck me," she said.

He turned around and positioned himself between her legs. She spread them wide, her feet planted firmly against her ass and her knees falling sideways. He pushed in, holding himself above her with stiff arms. She was playing with her clit above his thrusting penis. He pounded her, their hips rising and falling. She started panting and moaning. Her body was tensing and then she was screaming out his name. He came instantly, and collapsed over her. Breathing heavily, he slipped to one side and they fell asleep, deeply, rousing sometime quite late to pull the quilt over their cooled bodies.

Adina woke at 5:00 a.m. with a full bladder. Quietly disentangling herself from Brian's sleepy embrace, she padded to the bathroom, dressed in her running tights, sports bra and t-shirt and left in the dark. She planned to run on the beach to the creek, and then follow the creek trail up the mountain and then back around through town. It was the long slow run today, eight miles. She knew exactly where she would stop in the forest. There was a fallen tree that she planned to ride while she fantasized about Brian, and she wondered how long their fling would last. After last night, she felt bonded in a way she would never have expected. She hoped for more.



Adina's Journey



Adina retrieved her pen, and then tapped the folder on its sides to straighten the papers and looked at Brian quizzically.

"Open it," he said.

Adina turned the page and read,

" "I hit, you count." And that's what they did: he struck her tanned butt with his leather belt as it turned red and she was counting with as much control in her voice as she could. All the while Daniel rubbed my vagina and moved his fingers in and out. My cheeks were flushed."

Slowly and deliberately she turned and looked at every page, reading a word or a paragraph. All her words. She pressed her palms flat onto the desk to prevent them from shaking, found her voice from a kernel of strength underneath her breastbone, and said,

"What's this trash doing in my classroom?"

Brian laughed. "I should ask you."

Adina said, "I said, what is this trash doing in my classroom?"

Brian smiled and said, "Why lie? It's clearly yours. You didn't even bother to change names. Well, at least in three of the stories."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What a liar. Of course you do. Do you want to know how I got them?"

"Why should I care how you got them? They don't have anything to do with me, and they certainly don't belong here. Get out, or I'm calling Delia Parker."

"Don't be so fast. I'll tell you how I got them. You didn't encrypt your wireless."

"What?"

"You were uploading one of these...what was it... 'YouPorn Debut'...one night when I was cruising the neighborhood looking for wireless. My account was down," he lied by way of explanation.

"What?"

"What WHAT? Don't play dumb. I've monitored your activity, I've caught your downloads and your uploads, I found your account on Literotica, it's obviously you, and I could make your life a living hell in this town. Parker won't support you if I start spreading this around."

"I'm sure your hacking my wireless and spying is illegal," Adina said.

"Ah, but see, you're not sure. You don't want any of this to get out. I could just make you the center of a storm of gossip, or I could make it worse. Or it could get worse all on its own. You don't want to go to the law to complain about me. You don't want to retain a lawyer, either, because you barely make enough to support your mortgage and keep a roof over your fatherless child's head."

"What do you want to do?"

"Well..." he said. "We could do this the easy way or the hard way. You make me happy on my terms, I'll help you encrypt your wireless, I'll shred everything I've printed... But if you refuse me, you'll probably have to move, and you may never teach public school again."

"But I haven't done anything," Adina said. "What would I be fired for?"

"Adina. Don't be dumb. You won't have references from me, Parker or your colleagues. You'll be laughed out of town. You'll have the scarlet letter on your chest. Three. A for Adulteress to your dead husband's memory, W for Widow, and H for Humiliated Public School Teacher."

"You're so literary. I'm so impressed."

"My terms."

"No."

"Don't try me. A bad idea. My terms."

"I said no."

"Are you going to interrupt again or am I going to rape you on the floor of your classroom? My terms."

Adina shrugged. 

Brian took that for an assent and said, "My house. One hour. Skirt, no panties." He stalked out of her classroom and slammed the door.

Adina felt as if she were falling; she had tunnel vision. Her breath came in short gasps; she couldn't catch it. She was terrified of his threats. She left everything on her desk, didn't write the agenda for Monday morning on the board, and left. And then returned to remove the incriminating folder she had left open on the desk. Blindly she drove home and let herself in, shaking so hard she made three attempts to get her key in the door, dropping them in the process.

A shower. She stepped into a scalding shower and when she was able to put off thinking for a moment about what she knew was inevitable, she adjusted the water to lukewarm and then to cold. Red and naked, she toweled off and dried her hair. She left it loose, parted on the side, tucked behind her ear.

What to wear? Adina selected a soft and clingy knit shirt, wine colored, with a scooped neck and long sleeves, and her black linen skirt. It was gathered and could twirl, but it came past her knees. It was disconcerting not to put underwear on. Intuition told her no bra. She put on her long rain parka and left.

She knew where Brian lived. It was not far from her own house. She chose to walk; she didn't want to leave her car in front of his house. Everyone knew everything in this town. The damp air felt cold on her legs. Her breasts swayed and her thighs rubbed without the familiar security of her panties and tights.

His porch light was on. She knocked. Brian opened the door and he greeted her with a friendly smile, as if she were making a neighborly visit. Adina felt confused, but then wondered if that was for the neighbors' benefit.

"Good to see you! Come in!" He drew her into the house, closed the door and locked it, and helped her out of her jacket. He looked her up and down. Adina thought, "You should stare back at him and be belligerent," but she could only look at the floor. 

He said, without the good cheer he'd had at the front door, "We're going upstairs tonight." He held his arm out and she walked in front of him to the stairs, and then walked up the stairs ahead of him. At the top, she stopped. He took her by her elbow and led her into his office. The computer was on a slide show screensaver. The photos were all hardcore. Adina wondered, "Every day or just for me?" She had no voice. She wondered where it had gone.

He sat down on the desk chair. It was quite simple, with no arms. He said, "I want to see that video you wrote about in 'YouPorn Debut.' Take the mouse."

The browser was already cued to YouPorn; Adina was able to find the video he was looking for easily. She had watched it several times.

Brian said, "On my lap." He reached for her hips and pulled her backwards so that she was on his knees. He pushed her legs apart so that they were outside of his. He pulled the fabric of her skirt up so that she was bare bottomed on his lap, but he didn't touch her legs or pull her skirt up to reveal anything of her. She felt her vagina hanging in the air between his legs. He reached past her and put the video on pause while it loaded.

"How did you know about this video?" he asked.

"I watched them film it," Adina answered.

"OMG, you little stalker. I am going to have some fun tonight. That's for sure. What were you doing? Hiding in the bushes?"

"Just the shadows," Adina said.

"That should be your porn name: Shadow. Nice. Did you masturbate while you watched them?"

Adina didn't answer.

He pinched her breast. "Answer me. My terms."

Adina was shaking.

"Oh my god, you're not some virgin on your first hot date. Ok, I'll go slower." Still waiting for the video to load, he stopped his pinching and began rubbing her back in gentle circles. He kneaded her shoulders and felt her relax the tiniest amount. He put his mouth on the back of her neck, and felt her tip her head to give him greater access. "Did you masturbate in the shadows, Dina?" he whispered.

Josh had called her that. "Yes," she whispered.

"I like the sound of that."

The video loaded, and the screen filled with a view of Katy Michaels with a strap-on persuading Michelle to take it up the ass. Brian's cock jumped at the sight. Adina felt it through his pants. "Oh my fucking god," he said with all sincerity. Michelle was really not interested in taking it up the ass, and seemed very embarrassed about the camera. Katy was stroking the strap-on like it was a real dick and asked Michelle to put it in her mouth. Michelle said, "You are so crazy, Katy, but ok." Michelle took it with a smile and then said to Katy, "Like that? Want more?" Katy shoved Michelle on her back and penetrated her pussy. Michelle closed her eyes.

Brian put his hand under Adina's shirt and cupped her breast. He hefted it and flicked her nipple while they watched Katy push Michelle onto her stomach and then order her to put her ass in the air. "Not up my ass, Katy!" Michelle begged.

Brian asked, "Does she take it or not? No, don't tell me. I want it to be a surprise." He pushed Adina's shirt over her head and made her lean back on his chest, rubbing her nipples with both hands. "Was someone else filming this?" he asked.

Adina said, "No...it was on a tripod. Katy wanted Sandeep, but he wasn't into it."

"Play with yourself," Katy ordered Michelle, who was using one hand on her pussy. Katy entered Michelle's pussy with the strap-on from behind, and pumped away while Michelle got more and more excited, not even noticing the camera. After about ten minutes of banging, Katy withdrew. Michelle almost didn't seem to notice. Quickly Katy grabbed some lube and got the dildo slippery, and then positioned it at the door to Michelle's ass.

Quickly Brian leaned past Adina, grabbed the mouse and hit pause. "I can't take this." He shoved Adina off his lap and pushed her chest down onto the wide computer desk. He flipped her skirt up over her back and exposed her round, tight ass. He used his feet to shove her legs apart and cupped her pussy from behind, fingering into her labia where he found that she was very wet. He dipped in and out, circling all around and making her very slick. With one hand between her shoulder blades, he unzipped his pants and pulled his rock hard cock out of his boxers.

Adina felt the desk under her breasts, cool and hard. She listened to Brian behind her and knew he was about to enter her. The lyrics, "Nobody knows what lies behind the days before the day we die..." entered her head and she thought about the last time she had made love with Josh. Like in the song, she didn't think at the time they were making love that it would be the last time. It was warm, August. A rare east wind was bringing high pressure from the east side of the mountains. They were in their backyard; Dazi was sleeping in her own room, finally, and they were hoping she would make it through the night before getting into bed with them. They were in their camp chairs on the back porch hoping for a view of the Perseid meteor shower.

"This is like when we were counselors at camp together," Josh had said.

"But then there'd be a fire. And separate cabins in solitary sleeping bags."

"Yeah," he agreed. "C'mere, Dina."

She leaned over him and he kissed her neck. He pulled her down on his lap, facing him. He reached up under her blouse and found her breasts free. He ran his hands up and down her back, and then her front, and worked her pajama bottoms down her legs. She settled over him and invited him in, and they didn't move. He stayed hard inside her while she wrapped her arms around his chest, and after some time, slowly, so very slowly, they made the smallest of movements together, gradually building, rolling, pumping, until first Josh came and then Adina right after, stifling their cries on each other's shoulders to prevent the neighbors from hearing. Adina fell asleep in Josh's lap, her legs spread wide, waking when he slipped out of her to show her the first of the shooting stars. He had died one week later. A drunk driver had crossed the median and struck his side of the car. Adina hadn't known for a day.

Brian was completely different than Josh, her only lover. Josh had been short, 5 foot seven, with small bones, wiry muscles from climbing, an Ashkenazic face. Brian was huge by comparison, six feet tall, wide, high cheeks and a square jaw. His posture was good, with broad shoulders. His hair was reddish brown, and his eyes were gray. His skin was the type that turned rough and red from years of being outside.

Adina felt him at the entrance to her pussy and knew he was thicker than Josh, and that she was completely overpowered.

Brian started the video again. Adina couldn't see the computer from her position, but she knew what was happening. Katy pushed the tip of the strap-on into Michelle's asshole and Michelle moaned. "That's better than my finger, don't you think? Ask me to give it all," she said. Michelle moaned. Slowly Katy worked the dildo further up Michelle's ass.

Brian entered her, all at once, pulling her hips back. Adina cried out. His cocked burned her tissues, stretched them. No one had been inside her since the meteor shower four and a half years before. Brian didn't move for a moment, and then began slowly rocking. "You like this. You want this. This is not the last time," he murmured. He pushed harder and faster. The burning feeling diminished, replaced by a delicious feeling of melting. Adina began to moan. She closed her eyes.

"Yeah, Dina, baby, you want this. You need this." He kept murmuring and rocking, and then paused, Adina thought to adjust something on the computer. And then to her relief he started again. He kept up the pressure, pushed her over her edge. She came in waves, her pussy pulsating over his cock. Once she came, he moved hard and fast, taking what he needed. He slapped her ass, grabbed her hips, and slammed himself into her gaping pussy. He shot his cum onto the top of her ass crack and watched it slip into the cleft. He slapped her one more time and said, "My terms."

Adina was still face down on the desk. She began to push herself back up but he put his hand back between her shoulder blades and kept her down. He flipped her skirt back up above her ass when she jerked it down, after he pulled out. He tucked himself back into his khaki work pants and zipped them up, smoothing down his shirt.

"You're daughter is gone once a month for the weekend. I won't take your whole weekend. Fridays are mine. I'll e-mail you my terms the week before. There will be an element of punishment and humiliation each time. I will be your winter and your spring. In June we'll renegotiate. You may go home now." He threw her shirt at her.

She put her shirt on and walked down stairs. He helped her into her jacket, opened the door, and came out on the porch with her.

"I had a nice evening," he said, for the benefit of the neighbors whom she hoped were not listening. "See you at school on Monday!"

Adina walked home with his semen dripping down her legs. She let herself in and was surprised to see it was only ten o'clock. It seemed like an entire age had passed since she was in her classroom grading papers. She got into the shower for the third time that day, and then got into bed naked. She wasn't happy with his treatment of her or her own submission. She replayed the events as if on a continual loop, remembering his heavy hand on her back, masturbated, came twice, and finally fell into a fitful sleep, dreaming of Brian Smythe and whatever his plans for her might be.