3 comments/ 192811 views/ 66 favorites "Fucked" Up By: lavskye He knew she had stepped outside for a smoke earlier, and he was well aware that it was the only thing she could find to help her get through her daily life. There were problems that he couldn't solve no matter how much effort he put into it, and he never once held her smoking habit against her because it was the last thing she had. He'd never actually seen her under the influence before, but he was aware of the effects it had on her just by the way she would talk in the evenings on the phone. Earlier that day, they had made plans for him to come over for dinner and a movie. This was a typical weekend routine, every Saturday night without fail. There was definitely an attraction between them, and they had gone pretty far on a few occasions though they never actually made it to the finish line. There was no doubt in either of their minds that the day would eventually come and they would both enjoy what they had to offer each other. That was the plan for tonight. To finally come together. She sat slumped over on the sofa, her head bobbing around because of her high, zoning out while watching a show on TV. It was his turn to make dinner, so he stood in the kitchen getting everything prepped for the evening's meal. She had definitely found her relief through smoking this evening, to the point where she couldn't hold her head up and never even heard the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. As time passed and she didn't join him in the kitchen, he decided to check on her. There she was, completely disoriented, barely able to hold herself up on the sofa. Many thoughts ran through his mind. Should I carry her off to bed? Should I help lay her down and rest peacefully here? He gently wrapped his arms around her shoulders, careful not to let her long hair get caught up and pulled, and eased her torso down onto the cushions. He then wrapped his arms around her long legs and rotated them so that she was laid down on the couch comfortably. He placed a pillow under her head and she managed to slur out a thank you to him. He told her not to worry and how he just wanted to make her comfortable, and meandered back to the kitchen. He went to the oven and turned it on to preheat it, but several thoughts interrupted him. He peeked around the corner into the living room and just watched her laying there so peacefully, so innocent. She looked just like an angel. Her head continued to move around and her eyes kept moving, both in a definitely disoriented fashion. She was definitely fucked up. There was no doubt about it. The more he watched her, the more he just wanted to sit down on the edge of the sofa beside her and caress her. He turned the oven back off and found his way to the sofa, gently sitting down beside her and put his hand on her cheek. She smiled up at him, her head still moving around in a manner that strongly suggested how incoherent she was, and he kissed her forehead while running his fingers through her long hair. He decided perhaps she would be more comfortable in her bed. He abandoned the dinner plans and wrapped one arm behind her torso and the other beneath her knees and lifted her up gingerly. She tried to tell him she wanted to stay where she was, but couldn't quite find the words to speak. He insisted she go lay down for a nap at the very least and continued towards the bedroom. She tried to resist, but all efforts to put up a fight were useless due to the effect of her high. He had no problems getting her to her room and comfortably positioning her on her back in bed. He laid down beside her on his side, his fingers gently rubbing her head and running through her hair. He once again kissed her forehead and she managed another smile. Just having him there to comfort her was a wonderful feeling. She'd never had anyone be there for her in her times of need, or any time for that matter, so just his presence was a welcome thing. He knew how much she appreciated it and had no issues with being there for her. Life had been a rough ride for her the past few years, and he'd been there with her every step of the way. Her friend propped himself up on his elbow and watched that sweet little angel lay there, so incoherently. It almost broke his heart to know what she was going through. But yet, she looked so innocent. And she was so young. An absolutely beautiful young woman, both inside and outside. Her gorgeous flowing hair, her long legs, perfectly sculpted breasts, and eyes anyone could get lost in. He knew how much she valued their friendship and how much trust she had in him. She was such a pure soul, nothing short of amazing. And such a strong woman for all of her experiences and being able to handle them. With his help of course, and he had never asked for anything in return. She was still barely awake, her head still rolling around, her obviously still incredibly fucked up. The poor thing seemed so helpless. She managed to look at him and smile again, so sweetly that it took much self-control to keep himself in line. He liked the sweet, innocent, pretty little young things, and she was everything he liked. He was everything she liked. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, not for even a second. His hand moved from her hair down to her cheek as he gazed into her peaceful eyes. She was way too disoriented to see the hunger in his. He realized that he liked it that way. His hands wandered from her cheek, down her neck, and found their way to her breasts. She was dressed quite comfortably, wearing a simple tank top and a pair of shorts. She tried to move his hand from her breast, quite a chore for her in her present state, and he grabbed her dainty wrists with his hand, holding them firmly above her head. She squirmed a little in protest, so with his free hand he unbuckled his belt, flipped her over, and used it to restrain her hands behind her back. She uttered a small whine of protest, and he pressed his index finger over her lips signaling for her to hush. He sat back and just gazed at her, how she now looked completely helpless. It was obvious she had a little clue what was going on, and she wasn't going to put up much of a fight. All the conversations they've had about finally going all the way, how she wanted him inside of her. He knew she had no objections to what he wanted. After all, they had played around several times before. He went out to the living room and retrieved his camera from his coat pocket and returned to the bedroom, flicking the lamp on as he entered. He captured images of her from several different angles and reviewed the shots, growing more and more excited by each one he saw. He looked back down at the helpless little angel and began lifting her pink tank top up, exposing her breasts. He snapped a few more pictures and turned the camera off, setting it on the nightstand. Once again he sat down beside her on the bed and let his lips meet hers, his tongue teasing. She allowed a gap to open between her lips, giving him the go ahead. His tongue slid around over her teeth gradually working their way towards her tongue. Their tongues met, and a moment of passion overcame them. She moaned a light moan as their kissing grew rougher. His hands started sliding over her breasts again, this time without any resistance from her, and he pulled his lips away from hers, beginning to softly kiss and nibble on her neck. His lips moved down to her shoulders, then lower to her collar bone. She moved sensually, a signal that she was enjoying herself. His lips met her breasts, his tongue flicking up against her nipples, his teeth beginning to nibble on them. She moved in an attempt to get him to stop, but she soon found her efforts were ineffective as he rolled her back over. He knew she kept her choke collar in her nightstand because she was in to stuff like that, so he reached down and pulled it from the drawer, managing to slip it over her head, despite her resistance. She froze for a moment, the feeling of the cold metal on her neck sending a mild chill down her spine. He once again made the move toward her breast and as she protested, he lightly tugged on the chain she wore. She moaned and laid still. His teeth still gently tugging on her hard nipples, he started moving his hands down her sides, over her hips, then over her lower abdomen, closing in on her clit. She squirmed and tried to resist as much as she could given her disorientation from her high. He leaned on her, pressing her weight against her to hold her down, while beginning to tease her clit. She began to tremble some, and he became more aggressive towards her. The more aggressively he played with her clit, the more she moved around with what little coordination she had. He moved his hands a little lower, and allowed one finger to tease the entrance of her sweet, innocent pussy, working its way in gently. She moved her legs around in a pitiful attempt to push him away. How could he tolerate such a disobedient little angel like her? He grabbed the end of her choke collar and allowed it to tighten over her neck more. She continued to struggle with him, but less aggressively. He eased a second finger into her now wet pussy and began to move them in and out and all around. Her body began moving in a way suggesting that she was enjoying it. He got up and repositioned himself so that he could continue teasing her, then slid his huge cock into her mouth. At first she seemed to gag, but once he got her settled down and thrusted slowly in and out he was able to take pleasure in how good this angel could suck on a cock. She continued to move in a way that now convinced him that she was completely okay with the ways he touched her, restrained her, and had her please him. They had already done all of this when she was sober, so there was definitely consent. Once again he moved, this time his body pressed on top of hers. He pulled her shorts down, then completely off. With his cock nice, thick and hard, he pressed it up against the opening of her pussy and she managed to utter his name. He pushed his cock barely into her a little at a time and enjoyed the moaning that she began making as she squirmed around with her lack of coordination. He grinned and allowed his cock to fill her pussy, making her take it all. She screamed a little, and asked softly for more. He pulled himself out and demanded that she beg for more if that's what she wanted. She asked him again. More, harder, faster. She was still unable to stop her head from bobbing, to stop her eyes from rolling around. He told her she had to beg, to plead for it if she wanted it. She spoke louder this time when she asked him. He once again placed his cock at her opening, teasing her outside. She cried for more. And for more. And he gave her a little more. And she cried out once again for all of it. She begged. But she was getting too loud. Yes, he was going to give it to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and turned her over, putting her on all fours. She screamed for more. Begged, pleaded. Yes, she was definitely too loud. He grabbed a handful of hair with his left hand and put his right hand over her mouth until he had her face planted firmly in the pillow. That should keep her quiet enough that he could still hear the pleas from this sweet young thing, so innocent but now being corrupted, without anyone else hearing. With his right hand now free, he continued to work his fingers in and out of her pussy, now dripping wet. Her moans got much louder, so he warned her to hush and pushed on her head towards the pillow again. Unable to wait much longer, he yet again eased his cock toward her just barely teasing. She asked for more. He told her she would not get it without her begging. She screamed and cried out for him to just give it to her. So he did. With one quick and hard thrust, he threw himself deep inside of her, in and out, and in and out. Her muffled screams escalated as she began building up towards a release. He sensed this and warned her that she did not have permission to cum yet. But her screams still escalated. He could feel her tightening around his cock. It felt so good. And then he stopped. She begged for more, but her request was denied. He took his fingers and brushed them up and down along the sides of her pussy, just teasing. Her body was now trembling violently, and he smiled. She was most definitely enjoying this, as was he. He pounded his cock in and out of her again, and she screamed. He could feel his own climax building, as was hers. Should he allow her to release yet? He wanted to. He pounded her harder and harder and her screams got louder and louder. He moaned in a crescendo and she screamed for more. Finally, he couldn't hold it in any longer. With one last thrust, she screamed as loud as she possibly could, and then he pulled himself out of her, covering his ass with an enormous load and watched as it slowly ran down her spine and stopped near her shoulder blades. He laid down next to her and cleaned off the mess he had made, then allowed her to be rolled back over onto her back so she could be more comfortable. He reached for his cigarettes on the nightstand and lit one up. She watched with longing eyes as she waited for him to release her from her restraints. But he didn't. Instead, he looked at her as she watched him take a big drag off his cigarette and blew some of the smoke towards her. She looked into his eyes and begged him for just one drag. He told her no and dramatically took another drag as she watched. She pleaded as best she could considering how incoherent she still was, so he brought his cigarette towards her lips and just as it barely made contact, he pulled it away, once again denying her. She fussed as he continued to tease her. After denying her several times, he finally allowed her a drag from his cigarette. She thanked him and praised him. He grinned because of the control he had over her and how he had teased her to complete frustration, then at last providing her the climax such a good little angel deserved. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around her, closing his eyes. He began dozing off, her still restrained. She called for him and tapped him with her leg to wake him. He sat up and just watched her, admiring how beautiful she looked when she's so helpless and disoriented. After a few moments, he released her from the belt and kissed her forehead tenderly. She traced her fingers down his cheek and neck, and ran her fingers through his hair. They curled up close to each other, their bodies pressed together. After such a night of passion and play that had been building for months, they laid there together and drifted peacefully off to sleep. Fucked Up God I was so fucked up. Every important decision I'd ever made in my life had been the wrong decision. I'd left home far too young because Mom and Dad had told me if I continued seeing (they meant fucking around with) the older man (he'd been 19 to my 15) they would call the cops and have him charged with statutory rape. Of course I'd known more than they had so I showed them; I ran away with him. We left Mobile and drove to Houston. My parents never had a chance to find me. In a couple of months I was pregnant. A year later, I had a baby girl to take care of. Talk about kids raising kids. While I'd been pregnant, my loving other had started running around, no fucking around with a couple of older women. When I came home from the hospital, he moved us in with one of them so "she can help you with the kid." Yeah, right. I took care of the kid and they took real good care of each other. In a few months, I was excess baggage. I had to leave or start earning my keep. Guess what they wanted me to do to earn my keep. It could have been worse. They didn't turn me out on the street. Instead, I was their fuck toy; theirs and their friends, men and women alike. As strange as it sounds, as much as I hated being basically a whore I got hooked on the frequent and usually rough sex. Over a few years, I developed a reputation of being a sub-slut or at least a masochist. I learned later, that my "boyfriend" and his fuck-buddy rented me out to groups of four to eight men, women, or mixed, to serve as their "entertainment" when they were having group sex parties. I thought they just let me party with them. By this time, spanking, breast flogging, anal sex, nipple clamps, enemas, and orgasm denial activities were big turn-ons for me. I can't really explain why it works but I can tell you how it works. I would be left to my own devices (usually vibrators or dildos) for a week or so. Then I'd be sent to some hotel room or someone's home for a "party." It would start with some of them pulling me into a group and starting to kiss me and feel up my tits and eventually my pussy. It didn't take much to get me started. By the time I was good and hot, nearly everyone would be naked or worse, in those skimpy sexy outfits. Then someone would force me over their lap and begin spanking my bare ass with their hand. It hurt! It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. I'd scream and kick and everyone would laugh and gather 'round and take their turn. After10 to 15 minutes or so of getting my ass pounded, the pain, well it didn't exactly go away but it seemed to mix with other sensations, sensations that traveled through my body and settled in my nipples and pussy first getting them aroused. As soon as this started, the people playing with me would change their activities. The spanking would usually turn into one or two people sucking at my tits and fingering my now wet pussy fanning the arousal into ever more intense sexual desire. They would pass me around the group for as long as they wanted to, fucking my pussy, ass, or mouth anytime they wanted to. This did include lots of pussy licking too. Then, as they fucked themselves out, they would begin using me as a submissive pain slut to get their cocks up and pussies wet again. Even when the abuse turned to intense breast and pussy flogging, the pain just acted like an unpleasant shock that sent bolts of intensity into my tits and pussy. It wasn't pain anymore, just another version of intense foreplay that made me one big sexual nerve. At least that was the way I thought of it. Now I know it only turned me into a nasty toy that they used with the same attitude they would use a vibrator, dildo, or artificial cunt. God but I was a stupid little shit. As Amy got older, I spiraled ever more deeply into the sexual perversions of masochistic and submissive sex. Then Richard (yes, his nickname was Dick) came along. For some reason, he wanted me and my daughter, now 13, to leave the sick insane world that I'd grown to like, and move in with him and his brothers. At first I said no. Then he pointed out that Amy would, very soon, be pushed into the spotlight right alongside me. The strangers who bought my masochistic and sub-slut services would not be kind or gentle with a girl as young and pretty as Amy. A few days later, Amy and I went for a walk. We never came back. Dick lived in a nice and rather large house outside of a city in a southern state. He shared the house with his two brother, Thomas and Harold "yes, Tom, Dick, and Harry) and Tom's sex slave, PP. At first, I thought PP was some kind of toilet slave, but it turned out she was a stone hard pain slut who got off big time on pussy torture. The PP was short for Pretty Pussy. In the six years I've lived with Dick, I've never heard her called any other name. Don't get me wrong, PP really loves her life. I've seen her lie down on a coffee table without being tied down and get off time after time as the three brothers took turns whipping, switching, clamping, and/or electro-torturing her pussy. After a long hard session of pussy torture, she could take all three of the brothers to bed and fuck their brains out. She loves it. One morning not long after Amy's 18th birthday, I walked out of the house to take a skinny dip in the pool. I walked right into my daughter's first pussy torture session. She was sitting on a redwood lounge with her legs stuck out to the sides under the arms and held in place by the frame that held the arms. The back of the lounge was half reclined and Dick stood straddling it while Amy used both of her hands and her mouth on his 9 inch cock. Her face was streaked with tears, which dripped onto her tits and dripped from her young tits. Dick's dick acted as a gag stifling her screams of pain as PP punished her wet gaping pussy. Tom and Harry sat nearby watching as they grinned in pleasure. Their cocks were completely soft and that told me they had both just fucked Amy's wet pussy. PP's pussy did not have that fresh fucked look like Amy's did and Tom and Harry enjoyed pussy torture so much they couldn't possibly be soft unless they'd just been drained. I took all of this in instantly and walked to kneel beside my daughter's face. Dick pulled his dick back and PP stopped swinging the narrow rubber pussy paddle she'd been spanking Amy's pussy with as I spoke to Amy. "Whose idea was this?" I asked. It took her a few seconds to get her breath control to where she could answer me and then she spoke in a hoarse voice, "Mine, Mama. I've wanted to do this ever since PP started talking to me about it. But no one would touch me until today." "Does it hurt too badly?" I asked. "Fuck, yes!" she screamed. "But Mother, after awhile the pain sort of goes away a little and mixes with the kind of pleasure I get when I finger myself off. I've already come three times and they were the best I've ever had." "So, this was your idea and you want to keep on, is that what you are telling me, Baby?" I asked a little sick at heart and yet a little glad she knew her mind so well. "Yes Mama, this is what I want. It makes me feel so good inside when I come this way. And I love all three brothers and PP too. I want to be part of their sex games and this is the only way I can." I kissed her on the mouth and felt her tongue brush my lips. I pulled away from her and looked at Dick. I nodded my head and moved back from Amy's face. PP was not an evil bitch. She remembered her own youth and was careful to keep the men and Amy from overdoing it for the first few months. In effect, she broke Amy in rather slowly but also rather thoroughly. Fucked-Up I'm seriously fucked-up. I was standing in my kitchen today popping popcorn while I poured myself a rum and coke. I put that Captain Morgan Spiced Rum bottle right under my nose and sniffed, and I could have swooned. It smelt like smooth, full heaven. I hardly ever drink. It occurred to me right then, and I even said it out loud... "The only thing keeping me from being addicted to cocaine is that I've never had any." I thought about that while I walked back into the living room with my popcorn to finish my movie. I really think it's right. I am screwed-up in the head, and only the Grace of God comes between me and being dead every day. There's this song I like that says something about being a preacher's daughter and not doing what "daddy taught her." I do everything my Daddy taught me, everything except deal drugs and beat my wives. If I drank often enough, I'd become and alcoholic. If I did try cocaine or heroine, I'd probably be hooked. I've cheated so much and lied so much about it that I can't stop lying. Even while I'm doing it, I think to myself that I want to STOP, and I can't even stop because I'm so mired down in it all that I couldn't climb back up, no matter how much I want to. I'm spontaneous to the extreme, and that makes it all worse. I know where to go to get what I want, but if I can't get it there, I keep going. I keep pushing and asking and looking until I find someone who will give it to me. I might be looking for the kind of satisfaction that doesn't even satisfy ME; it just makes me feel better to get all of that energy out of my system and pump it into somebody else. It's funny because growing up, the one thing I said I would NEVER do was be like my Daddy. Then when I grew up, I found out I was nearly as crazy as he was. You know what I did last week? I got back home with my husband. He'd been in the hospital sick, and the very next day, I found some excuse to run across town and pick up my... what is he? My "boyfriend?" My married friend I've hung out with and "cheated on" (yeah, cheating on top of cheating) for two years now. We went to this place I like with flowers and fish, and we walked down these nature trails. I showed him everything I love above there, kissed him under the gazebo, bent over between some hedges and let him push up my dress and lick my asshole until I squirmed, nearly screamed and felt like my legs were going to buckle underneath me. Then we went to a hotel, and, even though I'd told him, "No sex," I knew better, and after he made me come twice with his mouth, I mounted him, grinned, and stuffed his cock up into my pussy. I hadn't had anything in there in nearly a month, and it was tight and wet. He slid in so easily, but it actually hurt, he stretched me so wide and pushed in so deep. Friday I went into town again, and he met me after he got off work. Five minutes at the library. We just talked and he made faces at me, and I giggled and guffawed. He makes me feel alive, and I feel like I need the escape lately. He's my only escape anymore, but I still talk to other people. Last night, after telling him in a text that I wouldn't look for anybody else while he was sleeping, I let a guy from somewhere up north call me on the phone and talk to me for an hour. It wasn't about sex at all really, so maybe I am getting better. Maybe I'm settling down to two men instead of five, but why can't it be one man, the one I'm married to? I want it to be. Honestly, I do. That's where me being crazy comes into the picture. I'm sane enough to keep myself straight for a month or two. Usually two months, and then I run back to... somebody to make me feel right again. Lately, for two years except for a really screwed up time last summer, I've run to this same man, but he's married, I'm married, and it's not like we're planning to change that. So we're just stuck in this confused jumble where we're crazy in love, he's jealous of any other guy I even talk to, when things get too scant at home, we meet up somewhere, and he fills me up and makes my pussy feel alright again. I feel like I'm going to be caught in this cycle for the rest of my life. How fucked-up is that?