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Snowball's Chance

By: sr71plt



Liesl tumbled recklessly down the stone stairs from the highest turret of Schloss Runeberg. She had to outrun the plaintive cries of her mother. There was nothing she could do for her mother except get beyond the range of the vocal expression of her torment. That's what her mother had told her she wanted Liesl to do—to escape. But there was no escape. He was an animal. But all of the control was on his side. There wasn't the smallest chance Liesl could save her mother—or herself.

She reeled out of the arched doorway to the tower and stumbled down the stairs and lay in a heap in the falling snow on the cold stone paving of the castle keep. Her handmaid, Lutgard swept out of the scullery door and folded her body over the lithe figure of her beloved Liesl. She rocked the young woman in her arms and hummed a soothing tune. But still Liesl could hear the cries of her mother. Liesl could only imagine what her stepfather was doing to her mother up there. But she knew her mother was sick and exhausted and should not be lying with any man, let alone that big brute who was her stepfather, The Burgermeister—the mayor—of Runeburg, a man who not only was the law of the land in Freidenschaft now that Liesl's father, the Burggraf von Freidenschaft was cold in his grave, but who also was the most mammoth and cruelest man of the region.

Liesl's mother, the Burggrafin Kathe, hadn't stood even the slightest chance in the face of the ambition and scheming of such a man. He had overwhelmed her and taken her as if by right the moment Liesl's father had died under suspicious circumstances. And now the man of insatiable appetites, unbounded cruelty, and inhuman physique was driving Liesl's mother to her own grave with his constant demands and assaults—in their private chamber at the top of the tower.

Liesl was sobbing and Lutgard was giving her what comfort she could.

"Come, child, we must get you off these cold stones. Come inside."

"No, Lutgard, no. I can still hear her from there. Isn't there anything—?"

"No, I'm afraid not. At least not now," Kathe whispered. "Someday one of us will gain the courage and have the opportunity to stop him, but not now. There's nothing we can do for her in this man's world. But, I swear, if he lays a hand on you—"

"Is there no where that I can't hear?" Liesl cried out.

"Come, get your cloak," Lutgard said as she raised the young woman up. "We will go down in the stadt. We will go to the Christmas market. We'll find some gold hair clips for that beautiful raven-black hair of yours. I swear that you have inherited all of your mother's beauty. Gold clips. Just the thing."

Lutgard tried to sound like they were going on a jolly adventure as she bundled up her precious treasure and pushed her through the guard tower, under the portcullis, and over the wooden bridge spanning the moat. But it was all a sham. Kathe was past worrying about now. She would be mercifully delivered in the next month or so, withered away from her wasting illness and spilt asunder by the demands of that monster of a man. But Liesl. Liesl had grown into a beautiful woman, fair of face and figure both, ripe as a peach. How were they to keep Liesl out of the clutches of that cruel Gerhardt when he had done with the Burggrafin? All that Lutgard knew for sure was that she would kill him herself ere he touched her Liesl. Bold talk, she knew. Much harder to do in fact.

* * *

Marketplatz was all abuzz with the news—so much so that they barely noticed that the daughter of the Burggrafin had come down from the castle in a rare appearance in the town. The pride of her deceased father, she had led a highly sheltered life almost to the point that her beauty and mystery had become a stadt mystique, a legendary figure of purity and unattainable grace that had spun out beyond the borders of Freidenschaft.

What had the busy market all aflutter was the contingent of the emperor's men that had galloped into the square from the western mountains and had frozen the entire Christmas market in place as they split a twain, with half of the maroon-bedecked cavaliers surrounding a black silk-caped Ritter—knight—jangling their silver spurs against the heaving withers of their magnificent steeds as they flanked their black knight in a dash up the steep cobbled stoned streets into the upper ward of the city en route to the castle. The other half of the contingent veered off at the sight of the Scarlet Unicorn beer garden, boisterously taking up their defensive position in the most comfortable and inviting vantage point they could spy.

In the flurry of activity, Lutgard and Liesl became separated. Lutgard was frantic, but Liesl hardly noticed, so interested was she in all of the sparkling baubles on offer at the Christmas market. She had led such a sheltered life that she seemed more a five-year-old child than a ripe young woman at the threshold of adulthood. She had made her purchase of gold hair clips in no time at all and had moved on to admiring the other delights offered by the seasonal vendors.

Not all of the emperor's men had stumbled, saddle sore and dusty of throat, into the Scarlet Unicorn. One comely young swashbuckler had separated from his comrades and had ventured into the line of wooden booths in the Christmas market, mesmerized by the vision of beauty he had spied as the cavaliers had thundered into the square. He knew it must be she, the one they sought. No one else could be that fair.

Lutgard waddled around the maze of booths in panic, her heart beating wildly and her eyes trying to see everything and focus on her precious ward, but, in her panic, not really seeing anything clearly. Liesl wandered the booths, each exhibiting more wonders than the last. She was completely oblivious to the absence of her protector, trained to trail unobtrusively in the wake of nobility, albeit minor nobility. Stephan, the comely emperor's man circled in the market, his eyes never leaving the luscious young Liesl, his approach ever closer.

At the opening of the dimly lit Hochallee, running off the square at the rear of the shops of Hochstrasse, the main thoroughfare rising through the high city toward the crouching walls of the Schloss Runeberg, the booth of the straw nativity Christmas figurine had established its place, as it had done for the previous 150 years. Liesl had received such a figurine for every one of her eighteen Christmases of memory, but she'd never seen so many on display at one time. She was delighted. She was overwhelmed. She was completely open and defenseless.

As she circled to the side of the booth to see the new delights to be seen there, she was pulled into the shadows of the Hochallee. She was pushed up against the stuccoed rear wall of a glazier's shop. She was shocked and winded into silence by being pressed against a wall, completely encircled in the strong, possessing arms of . . . a man. She had never been in this position before. She had never been touched by a man, let alone pressed against the wall along her full length by a strong, muscled, rubbing, possessing man, enclosed, throbbing heart to heart, with this overpowering stranger against the falling snow by his heavy maroon cloak. She had the sensation of hazel eyes in a young, handsome face. Blond hair, chiseled features, wondrous smile, full, searching lips. Lips on her throat and then on her own lips, forcing her lips open, possessing her fully. She had never been kissed like this before. She, in fact, had never been kissed at all. But she had imagined being kissed and it had been nothing like this. Nothing had ever been like this. Heat. Electricity. Ears ringing. Sensations running through her body that she'd never felt before.

She felt faint. As she was blacking out, she heard her name, her name being called frantically. Lutgard calling out in a panicked voice. And Liesl wasn't the only one who heard the voice and felt the flash of recognition moving through her body. She had swum back out of her faint, now alone in the alley, before Lutgard found her. She met Lutgard at the side of the straw figurine booth and managed to shield her terrifyingly arousing brief experience—her exhilarating terrifying brief experience—from her protector by waving a delicate hand at the wonders on display in the booth, deftly sweeping Lutgard's attention from her flushed face and languorous demeanor. Lutgard couldn't know. No one could know. What had happened was enough to besmirch her reputation forever, to close the door on any hope she had of escaping the hearth now so cruelly and threatening controlled by her stepfather, the rapacious Burgermeister.

* * *

With trembling lips, Lutgard was standing over a night gowned Liesl, seated at her mirror in the dark hour before withdrawal behind the heavy brocade drapes of her bed. Liesl was only half listening, in rising anger, to Lutgard burbling out the stepfather's summons to his study. Lutgard couldn't meet her mistress's eyes. Liesl assumed, in her panic, that Lutgard had seen the surprise assault by the strong, young stranger within the shadows of the Hochallee and had reported Liesl's shame. And the disloyalty rocked Liesl to her core. She would never have believed Lutgard capable of this, even though convention required precisely this denunciation of the besmirching of Liesl's virtue. Not her Lutgard.

And, in fact, she completely misunderstood Lutgard's discombobulation. Lutgard was terrified of the summons by the stepfather. Was he not even to wait until the Burggrafin's demise? Was he intent of forcing himself on Liesl already? If that was what this was about, Lutgard was ready, a well-sharpened kitchen knife hidden in the folds of her robes. But her fears and panic were fighting with her determination. Was this where it would all end—for her and for others? They were defenseless before the law. They were mere women.

"Come, little one," Lutgard managed to say through her fears. "Wrap yourself in this thick robe. The castle is freezing. And come, we cannot deny the summons. But I will be there. Fear not. You will not see me, but I will be within steps of you all the time."

"That robe?" Liesl said. "I'll be lost in that. Give me a moment. I'll dress."

"No, this robe is perfect, Precious," Lutgard wheedled. "Against the cold, of course. The heavier and bulkier the better."

Both Liesl and Lutgard took an involuntary step backward as they entered the presence of the Burgermeister in the shadow-clad study with its blackened-oak walls and leaded-glass bay window overlooking the twinkling lights of the lower town. A fire roared in a fireplace that brightly lit the back of the massive, blue-velvet wrapped body of the lord of the manor while throwing everything but his blazing eyes and lascivious smile into dark relief. Neither had seen their cruel master with such a malevolent and pleased-with-himself countenance.

He beckoned to Liesl, who moved toward him but was held back a good four paces from the front of the ornately carved wood desk by the trembling, yet determined grasp of Lutgard. Gerhardt waved the servant away, and Lutgard shrank back out of the light, but only as far as the shadows just beyond the open study door. She fingered the knife in the folds of her robe, wondering if this was the day of resolution or dissolution.

Liesl steeled herself, trying to form an explanation that would save her the justified wrath of her master for her transgression in Hochallee, but knowing that no explanation would suffice. She was damaged goods now. Her future was even bleaker now that it had been before she had descended through the high city into the Christmas market. This morning she had assumed that her life could hardly be bleaker, but now she knew she had been wrong. Now, after her stepfather had voiced the reality of the Christmas market incident, there would be no chance for her in life, not the least chance.

"We were visited by emissaries of the emperor today, Liesl," Gerhardt said.

Here it comes, Liesl thought bitterly. I am undone. I have been compromised by someone from the emperor's delegation. The maroon cape. The emperor's colors.

"You know that the empress—yet another of Wilhelm Josef's empresses—has died, do you not?" the Burgermeister said.

What was this, Liesl thought? How was this a lead in to uncloaking her shame?

"Yes . . . Father," Liesl answered in a small, breathless voice.

"And do you know how he chooses a new empress?" Gerhardt asked. But they he caught himself. "But of course you do not know. No one would dare talk to you of such things."

He didn't know. He didn't know about this afternoon. Liesl's heart raced and her spirits lifted. He could not know of that and now be talking to her as if her virtue was unassailed. She, in fact, had heard how the syphilitic old bag of lard of an emperor chose his consorts—four of them so far, three within the last ten years. She'd never been told directly, of course, but she'd heard the servants speak of it when they didn't realize she was nearby. She knew that the emperor was equipped to be the death of a woman, just as her stepfather was, and that he was deceased as well. That he mated his wives to death—just as her stepfather was mating her mother to death. But she could not voice her knowledge to her stepfather. She must remain pristine and chaste with him. He held her future in his hands. Her only hope was escape him by marriage. And, as ambitious as he was, her one hope was that he would use her to rise on the ladder of minor nobility, just as he had bettered himself by wedding a Burggrafin.

"No, Father," she said with downcast eyes. "Is there something of that I need know?"

"No, I think not," Gerhardt said, with a little laugh cut off by a snort. "All you need know is that he is searching for a new wife and that, your reputation for beauty and purity having been broadcast beyond our borders, you have been placed on the list of his prospective brides."

"I am . . . honored, Father . . . but—" Panic was setting in again. Liesl wasn't the least bit honored. This would be a death sentence. The man was old and diseased and a splitting torture for any woman, if what she had heard was true. Her life would be at an end—before she'd have had a moment to live a life. All those people in the village. All of them looking up at the castle, envious of the life those in the castle family lived. She would willingly trade lives with any one of them at this moment.

"There is no delicate way of saying this, Liesl, so I will come right out with it, and you will say nothing in opposition, or I will strip you and whip you where you stand. This is a high honor. This could be the making of our family."

"I . . . I don't understand," Liesl stammered out. But she wished she hadn't said it as soon as the words escaped her lips. She didn't want to understand. Something told her she didn't want to hear any more.

"The emperor chooses his wives by trial, Liesl. Tomorrow night, as the sun creeps away over the horizon, the emperor's carriage will arrive at the castle. You will be prepared to go to the emperor for at least the night. If he wishes, you will stay longer. If he is not pleased, you will be returned here and he will move on down the list of his prospects. If you please him—and I and your mother expect you to do everything in your power to please him—you will become empress, and our family will rise in the ranks."

"But, but . . . I will be ruined if he doesn't—"

"Shut up, you ungrateful child. You act as if you have no concept of the opportunity we are being given here. You won't be ruined. The emperor provides one of his minor knights, his Ritters, as a husband of the young women he casts off. The rise in rank would only be minor for us, but the need for a dowry would be waved. Even this would be advantageous for us—for this whole region. And if no substitute husband is forthcoming from the emperor, I have no objection to taking you back into the family. Should anything happen to your mother, I wouldn't mind myself—"

Liesl heard nothing further. She swooned toward the floor, prevented from injury in her fall only by the strong arms of her protector, Lutgard, sweeping back into the room to gather her precious burden into the safety of her arms, if only for one more night.

Lutgard briefly entertained the possibility of staving off the certain suffering facing her young mistress by using the knife still tucked in the folds of her robe. But she struggled with what to do with the knife—to use it to propel Liesl into eternal purity or to use it to cut out the filthy cancer that was the Burgermeister. In the end, her own uncertainty of her capabilities forced her into nonaction. Her "place" in this medieval, master-dominated world lay too heavily upon her. She had always known that something of this sort lay in Liesl's future—but Lutgard couldn't begin to grasp of the horror of the reality of these choices for her precious one.

* * *

Liesl was numb and unresponsive through the preparation phase that took most of the next day. The bathing and powdering and rouging went more calmly than Lutgard had thought possible, mainly because Liesl moved languidly as if she were in a trance, so far had she withdrawn into herself, into a protective shell of disbelief and separation from reality. There was a brief flash in the eyes of both Liesl and Lutgard—but for differing reasons for the two—when the gold hair clips bought the previous day in the Christmas market were affixed in Liesl's glossy, much stroked raven-black hair. And the only twinge of panic that could be discerned flowing through the young lady's perfectly formed and lovingly prepared body came when the only article of clothing brought out for her journey was a thick, white ermine cape robe.

As the sun set across the valley of the land of Freidenschaft and the lights began to twinkle on in the town below, a massive gilded sleigh on runners and pulled by six gray Clydesdales pulled up at the end of the drawbridge. it had snowed all day, and the city was a fairy wonderland that Liesl only barely saw through the fog of the heavy breath of the horses as she was bundled out the castle and buried as deeply as Lutgard could manage into the many layers of fur blankets in the sleigh. Liesl was still numb and unresponsive. Lutgard was smiling and clucking, trying to will courage into her child who was being torn out of her arms, and quite possibly out of her life. But the tears streaming down the old woman's cheeks belied her emotions of grief and the terror that lay ahead in all directions.

The maroon-uniformed footman slapped the stairs into the open sleigh up and fastened them, creating a door separating Liesl from her family and her life, and he was barely back up onto the driver's bench before the sleigh's equally maroon-uniformed driver had flicked his whip and set the Clydesdales into motion down the steep snowy street between the deceptively silent and unseeing hulking shops and residences of the Hochstrasse winding its way down to the market square, the residents of the high city all unseen but their eyes glued to the corners of their windows to take in every aspect of the momentous occasion of the emperor summoning the pride of their city for trial. This would not be just Liesl's trial—this would have a lasting effect, one way or the other, on all of their lives and fortunes.

Down through the Hochstrasse flew the sleigh; whipping past the boarded and sleeping booths of the Christmas market in the Marketplatz; down, down, through Runeburg's lower town on the Ausstrasse; through the market gate in the massive city wall, open at this time of day only for the convenience of the emperor's sleigh; sliding out into the cold, snow-clad night of the Freidenschaft countryside; ever faster, homing onto the track toward the high alps; gliding through the eerily silent night toward Konigstein; the high mountain fastness of the emperor's winter castle and the bed of an old, diseased, wife-splitting man.


Snowball's Chance



Author's Note: This story contains straight and gay male sex. All participants in sexual activities are 18 or older. 

"In the snowstorm you came close to wild animals and they were not afraid. They travelled across country not knowing where they were and the deer stood sometimes in the lee of the cabin. In a snowstorm you rode up to a moose and he mistook your horse for another moose and trotted forward to meet you. In a snowstorm it always seemed, for a time, as though there were no enemies. In a snowstorm the wind could blow a gale; but it blew a white cleanness and the air was full of a driving whiteness and all things were changed and when the wind stopped there would be the stillness. This was a big storm and he might as well enjoy it. It was ruining everything, but you might as well enjoy it."

Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls

~1984~

Just like that, it was decided. 

My dad was dead, killed in a hit-and-run on his way home from the Tavern, and I was leaving tomorrow to live with Aunt Sylvia in Ohio for a while so Momma could get back on her feet. 

I hadn't even adjusted to the fact that Dad was dead, and I was going to a new school in a new state? Aunt Syl had already made arrangements at my old school and at the new school, and I was starting on Thursday. Just like that.

Momma sat on the end of my bed, crying while she attempted to help me pack.

"Brian, I just need a couple of months to get settled. I can't support us just waitressing. I'm gonna take some classes. Try to get a good job. I promise. You'll be back home to start school in August," she said tearfully.

"But Momma..." I tried to interrupt. I needed her to hear my side. I'd get a paper route. I'd eat less. I'd return those new sneakers she bought me.

"I'm sorry Bri," she sobbed. "We just can't... I just..."

I heard Aunt Syl calling my name from the bottom of the stairs.

"Momma. Don't make me do this. Little League starts next week. Coach Phillips said I'd get to play a lot this year. Please don't make me go with Aunt Syl. She smells like pickles," I whined desperately.

Momma gave me a sad smile, and nodded.

"I know, Honey. It's just for a little while, so I can get back on my feet. Your dad...," she started as she broke down again.

She put her arms around me, and I put my head on her shoulder. I smelled the faint odor of pickles, and I felt Aunt Syl pulling me to my feet. 

"It's time, Brian," she said softly. 

And just like that, we left.

~

As I slid into my new desk in Mrs. Duffy's sixth grade class at Grover Cleveland Elementary School, I looked around and saw nineteen faces staring at me, the New Freak from Texas, and instinctively dropped my eyes to the floor. My cheeks were burning as Mrs. Duffy introduced me to the class. "Boys and girls, I'd like you to meet our new student, Brian. He just moved here from Texas. I hope you'll all make Brian feel welcome here in room 12."

I could hear the comments under their breath already. 

"Why is he coming here in the middle of the year?" asked one girl.

A boy with hair that stuck up all over said, "Does he have to sit next to me?"

"I bet his dad lost his job. That's why he moved now," said the tall boy with the alligator on his shirt.

Mrs. Duffy patted me on the shoulder, and said, "Don't pay them any mind." As she continued to the chalk board, she said loudly, "They don't know that your father just passed." 

That was a reminder I didn't need. Tears sprang to my eyes before I could even hide my face. The funeral had only been a week ago. I was trying to "take it like a man", like my uncles told me to do, but I was still so sad.

It was my Aunt Sylvia who pushed Momma to send me to school right away. Aunt Syl was Momma's older sister, but she acted more like her mother. Uncle Paul had died five years ago, so she thought she was the expert on what she liked to call "The Grief Process". She thought I would get over it faster if I got back to "My Normal Routine". 

How, may I ask, does a normal routine include moving to a new state, changing schools in the middle of year, and leaving what few friends I had in my own school? 

Now I was starting off in this stupid new school that smelled like dirty, chalk-covered sponges with a teacher that reminded me an awful lot of Aunt Syl (minus the pickles), and to top it off, I was already labeled a "cry baby".

I picked up my pencil and started my board work, hoping that everyone would lose interest in me.

~

At the end of the day, I shuffled to the bus, hoping I would miss it. Even in my old school, the bus was a zoo, but at least I knew that my friend, Tommy, would save me a seat. 

Suddenly Mrs. Duffy spotted me, clapped her hands to hurry me up, and started yelling, "C'mon, Brian. You're going to miss the bus."

The bus was just as bad as I had feared. Kids were throwing balls of paper, and yelling and screaming. I found an empty seat with a little kid that looked terrified, and I sat down before anyone else could claim it. 

I looked around toward the back of the bus, immediately wishing I hadn't. I recognized one of the boys from my class. It was the big one, who assumed that my dad had lost his job.

"Hey, Tex. What are you looking at, Douchebag?" he yelled.

I turned back quickly, hoping he could ignore me. He was a lot bigger than I was, and it was obvious that he was in charge on this bus. 

"I asked you what you're looking at, Shithead," he huffed.

I turned slowly, and saw him get out of his seat. My heart started pounding, my stomach started cramping, and the tears came again.

"Eric, stop it," I heard a girl say. I turned my head once again to see who had spoken. She was the most perfectly beautiful girl I had ever seen in my 12 short years. Blonde braids, blue eyes, and on her face was something I hadn't seen much that day- kindness.

He was approaching me, but I couldn't take my eyes off his friend. That pissed him off even more, I'm sure, and when he reached my seat, he surprised me with a punch in the nose. I saw stars, then everything went black.

~

For the rest of the school year, I struggled to get through each day. I still missed my dad, and everyone treated me like an outcast. I had missed Little League sign-ups in Ohio, so I didn't get to join the team. Heidi was the only friendly face in the sea of sixth grade assholes, and I spent as much time with her as possible. Eric was not crazy about this arrangement at all.

He had been suspended from school for five days for hitting me on the bus. Apparently the punishment was less severe if you hit someone from another state or something because everyone thought he should have been out for 2 weeks. Those five days gave me some precious time to get acquainted with Heidi on the bus though. Even when he came back to school, I would sit in the seat across from them. He got off at the third stop, so Heidi and I had the rest of the ride to sit together and get to know each other. She was very interested in Texas, as if she thought it was a different planet. 

I asked her a lot of questions about the weather in the north. I had never seen the leaves change in the fall because it was so hot and dry where I lived. Most of all I wanted to know about the snow. I had never seen snow, except on T.V. Heidi tried to explain snow days, the different kinds of snow, what it tasted like, what it smelled like, but I just wanted to experience it. Unfortunately, I had arrived in Ohio at the end of April, after the last snowfall of the season.

As Eric put it when he heard me talk about it, "You don't have a snowball's chance in Hell of seeing snow, Tex."

~

During the summer most of the kids from Grover Cleveland attended day camps. Aunt Syl didn't give me a choice, and signed me up for YMCA camp. I arrived the first day, wearing my geeky YMCA t-shirt and grumbling that I couldn't just stay home and read a book. I sat on the bleachers in the gym, waiting to hear my name called. It was taking forever to put the crowd of rowdy kids into groups, and everyone was getting antsy. Suddenly, I heard a name I recognized- Heidi Perkins. As she made her way to the counselor that called her name, my heart sank. Eric was with her. I didn't hear his name called, but apparently he would be in her group. 

"And last, but not least, for the 11-13 age group, Brian Evans," I finally heard. I was happy to see that I would be with Heidi, but I figured it would be just like being in Mrs. Duffy's class. Eric and Heidi would be together, and I'd get to hang out with her if Eric wasn't around.

I was only partially right. Eric was still mean and nasty to me, but Heidi must have set him straight because the three of us were together all summer. We swam, did arts and crafts, played Red Rover, and went on field trips together. Eric and I developed an understanding- I hated him. He hated me. Heidi liked us both. We both liked Heidi. Eventually the hostility between us became less palpable, and I actually had a good time that summer.

The problem was that I fell in love with Heidi. 

You can say that at 12 years old, that it was only "puppy love", but that's not what it was to me. I jumped out of bed every morning, anxious to get to camp to see her. I liked the things she liked. I did the things she did. When Eric complained that an activity was stupid, I did it anyway. It made her happy, and that made me happy. 

I suspected that Eric was also in love with Heidi, but when haven't even hit puberty yet, it's not like you have to make a permanent choice of mate. All three of us accepted the situation as it was, and enjoyed the summer for what it was worth.

On the weekends the three of us would walk through the woods to Eric's family's cabin in the woods. It was a long walk, but we'd pack lunches and pretend we were on a great adventure. We were pirates one day, archeologists the next. I think we were all a little surprised that our parents let us do it, but I think they thought that the three of us together would be safe. It was really the last summer that we were children too. I think in another year they would have been more worried about what we might do with each other when we were all alone, but I was in back in Texas by then anyway.

~

On the last day of camp, my heart was heavy. I was happy to be going home to Texas, but I knew things wouldn't be the same there either. My dad was gone, we had a new, smaller apartment, and Momma had gotten two jobs while I was gone. I couldn't even imagine what my friends were doing without me. Most of all, I knew I would miss Heidi. 

At the end-of-summer picnic, I said goodbye to Heidi. She was crying. I didn't want to be the cry baby she met back in April, so I stayed tough. The counselors had given each of us some pictures that they had taken over the summer, and they gave each of us a copy of a photo of Eric, Heidi and me sitting on the bleachers together. I still have that photo in a frame on my dresser. Heidi was wearing blue ribbons in her braids that day, which brought out the color of her eyes.

When it was time to go, Eric came over to us. He put his hand out for me to shake, and said, "No hard feelings, right, Tex?"

"Sure, Eric. No hard feelings," I replied. 

Heidi went to kiss me on the cheek, but I turned at the last second, and her kiss landed right on my lips. It was a little embarrassing for both of us (and it pissed Eric right off), but we laughed and said goodbye. I saw Aunt Syl's car, so I walked away.

~

I returned to Texas with two things I didn't have before- a picture of the most beautiful girl in the world and my first kiss from a girl under my belt. 

It wasn't long before things were mostly back to normal. I went to school, sat with Tommy on the bus and played soccer in the evenings. The only real difference was that Dad was gone and Momma was never home. She was always running from her job at the nursing home to her job at the Tavern on the corner. I tried not to mind too much, but I was lonely. 

I missed Heidi.

~1990~

Angela and I were in the darkest corner of the gym French kissing when the DJ, my friend, Tommy, announced the last dance, "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. That was our deal. I'd take Angie to the Valentine's Sweetheart Dance at school if he'd play Led Zeppelin for the last song. We were probably the only seniors at the dance (and definitely the only 18 year olds), so Tommy really had to make it worth our while. Most of the other slow songs he played were country songs, the soundtrack of life in Texas. 

We walked out on the dance floor, and I pulled Angie in close with my arms around her waist and her arms around my neck. She tipped her face up to smile at me, and I leaned in to resume our make-out session. My dick was getting hard just thinking about our plans for the rest of the night, and I rubbed it against her belly, just to make her giggle.

Usually after a dance we'd head out to get something to eat then go park at the industrial park and have sex in my old Blazer, but tonight was special. We were going to hit the McDonald's Drive-Thru then head to my house for a special Valentine's Day sleep-over.

"Brian, are you sure your mother isn't going to know?" she asked for the hundredth time.

"Ang, we've been through this. Mom works until midnight on Fridays. She'll stay at the Tavern and have drinks with some guy she meets. She'll bring him home and pretend I don't know there's a strange man in our apartment. They'll have sex, usually pretty loudly."

"What? You didn't mention that part before," she accused.

"Well, from what I've heard through the wall, my mother is quite the talented cocksucker," I explained, barely maintaining my straight face. 

"Brian! You're terrible!" she said, horrified.

"Um, I guess I should warn you about this too."

I paused for dramatic effect.

"She takes it in the ass, especially when she's drunk. I'm pretty sure everyone on the street knows that. As I said, she's loud," I added.

Before she could say anything, I asked, "And what about your father? What did you end up telling him?"

"It's payday. I didn't have to tell him much. He was already drunk when you picked me up for the dance," she explained, reaching over and rubbing my cock through my pants. "I guess Operation Valentine's Slumber Party is a go."

I parked my car in the driveway and ran around to open the Blazer door for Angela. We slipped into the house quickly, but I wasn't too concerned about the neighbors. We headed straight to my room, which I had decorated with red and pink carnations from the school's flower sale and some candles I had swiped from the kitchen. I lit the candles and we sat down on my bed to eat our burgers.

It was well before midnight, so we snuck across the hall to the bathroom to brush our teeth and freshen up. We slipped back into my room, and Angie took a good look around. She took in my Little League trophies, baseball posters, and the flowers I had put there for her. She found my black cowboy hat on the chair in the corner and placed it on my head. When she got to the table next to my bed, she laughed out loud. 

"K-Y and condoms. You're well prepared."

"Of course," I said with a smile. "I'm getting lucky tonight."

She looked at the pictures on my table. Our prom picture was there. Angela was wearing a beautiful pink, puffy dress. I was wearing a dorky white tux. She picked up the picture of Eric, Heidi and me.

"Who's this?" she asked.

"Kids I met in Ohio the year my father died. The guy's a total dick. I was a little in love with her though," I said. I didn't think it was a good idea to tell Angela that I was still in love with Heidi, especially considering the fact that I was hoping to have my cock in Angie's mouth in the next fifteen minutes.

"Are you a little in love with me now?" she asked coyly.

"I'm a lot in love with you now, my sweet Valentine," I replied as I started to unbutton her shirt.

She reached out to unbuckle my belt, but had some trouble. I took care of it for her, and pulled my jeans and boxers right off while I was at it. 

"You might as well keep going. You're doing a pretty efficient job of getting naked," she said.

Pants and socks hit the floor, but when I went to take off the hat, she stopped me.

"No! Leave the hat on. You look all cute with your big hat and your big boner," she informed me.

"Care to dance, ma'am?" I asked, tipping my hat.

"Nope. I care to give you a blowjob," she replied, dropping to her knees in front of me. She put her hands on my ass, stuck her tongue out, and licked the length of my erection. I moaned, and she stuck it right into her mouth. I felt her begin to suck gently on my cock. I put my hands in her hair and moaned again.

"Oh, baby. That's so nice. You feel so wet and warm."

She didn't reply, but she looked up at me and finished unbuttoning her shirt. She continued to suck my cock as she carefully stripped off the rest of her clothes.

I felt her tongue running along the bottom of my cock, then teasing the head. She sucked me all the way into her mouth then pulled her head back, sliding my cock along her tongue. I could feel her rubbing her lips on my cock for her own pleasure.

"You like that, don't you, baby?" I moaned, not expecting any response. 

She nodded and I could feel her teeth gently scrape against both sides of my dick. That made me moan incoherently. Her tongue moved up and down the length of my shaft, stopping only to swirl around my head. I had been so horned up all night, it wasn't taking long to get off. I felt myself getting close to cumming in her mouth, so I let her know.

"I'm gonna cum, baby. Do you want it in your mouth or do you want a facial tonight? Unngghhh. I'm getting close. Better make up your miiii-iind," I announced, a little too late. 

She continued sucking until every drop of cum was in her mouth. She swallowed then stood up. She put her hands on the sides of my face, and pulled me down to kiss her. She stuck her tongue into my mouth as far as it would go, and I could taste my cum there. 

I placed my hands on her bare tits and gave them a little squeeze. I led her to the bed and laid her back, spreading her legs with my hands. I squatted at the edge of the bed, removed my hat, and put my head between her legs. I ran my nose and tongue along the inside of her thighs and worked my way up between her pussy lips. I licked gently, searching for the spot that would drive her wild. When I hit it, I was rewarded with her hands on my head, holding me right there. I swirled my tongue around and around, and I felt her hips starting to rock in time with me. 

Angie was starting to make some noise, so I licked a little bit harder and a little bit faster. She was starting to pull my hair as she bucked her hips and thrashed her head back and forth. When she came, she squeezed my head between her thighs and yelled right out loud, "Brian, you fucker! Lick my cunt! I'm cuuuuummmmming, baby!" 

I licked her right through her orgasm, and finally came up for air when her legs relaxed, freeing my head. I climbed up on my bed next to her and kissed her, returning the favor of the cum-kiss by sticking my tongue into her mouth so she could taste her pussy on my mouth. 

"Mmm...That was awesome," she murmured.

As I settled in next to her, I heard my mother and the man she was sneaking in come in the front door.

"Shhh. Momma's home," I whispered. 

We laid next to each other, quietly kissing and whispering to each other. We could hear my mother's heels clicking down the hall while she shushed her "friend". 

It didn't take them long to get going, and pretty soon Mom was singing her Friday night special. Angie and I giggled under the covers while we listened. 

"Don't you think this is creepy? We're listening to your mother having sex, for crying out loud," she whispered. 




Snowball's Chance



"Usually I just ignore it. It's fun listening with you though," I whispered back. "Just wait. You'll be able to tell the minute she goes down on him."

Sure enough, we heard a loud groan from the Man of the Week, and we knew that the blowjob was underway.

"Oh, yeah baby. Swallow that big, fat cock. Oooh. Suck me so nice. Ahh. Ahh. Oh, yeah. You like my big cock, don't you."

Suddenly we heard a loud smack.

"Holy shit! Is he spanking her?" Angie whispered fiercely.

"Apparently she likes it. If she didn't have her mouth full of cock, she'd probably be begging him to spank her harder," I replied, and I started kissing her again. 

It was such a strangely erotic experience. I had been listening to my mother fuck random men from the bar every Friday night since my return home from Ohio so many years ago. At first I didn't understand what was going on. I was young, and who expects their mother to be screaming, "Fuck my ass!" in the middle of the night? I was worried that they were hurting her, but she kept bringing them home, so I figured she had to like it.

Later on I got curious. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help but listen. I spent most Friday nights with my hand down my pants jacking off like mad while I listened to my mother get fucked. Eventually I learned to turn up my headphones and go to sleep. 

But tonight I wasn't alone. I was totally turned on. I could hear the mystery man rehashing the magnificent blowjob he had just received. I learned that Mom had only swallowed half of his cum because she allowed some of it to splash on her face and her tits. Angie looked absolutely horrified, especially when she discovered that I was fully erect once again.

"Don't lecture me, Ang. Just grab a rubber."

Mom's room was quiet while Angie rolled the condom over my cock. She reached down and picked my cowboy hat up off the floor and put it on her head this time. Then she lowered herself down onto my cock and rode me like I was a stallion. We tried our best to be quiet, but my bed was creakier than I had ever noticed before. We giggled a little, wondering if Mom would hear us.

The mystery man started to speak again. I placed my hands on Angie's tits and continued to fuck her gently and quietly while we listened. 

"Word on the street is that you like anal. Do I have any chance at all of getting between those sweet cheeks?" I heard him ask. 

Momma laughed, and we could hear the bed springs creaking. 

Angie whispered, "I guess she said yes. What happens next?" 

I shrugged and said, "Depends on the guy. Usually I hear them discussing how many fingers he's using. Some jump right in prick-first though. She seems to like it either way."

"Have you ever done it," she asked me. "Anal, I mean."

"You know, Ang, I don't have that much experience. How many high school girls do you know that are up for a good ass-fucking?"

Through the wall, we heard my mother ask, "Oh, baby. Is that three? I think I'm almost ready for you."

Angie laughed again and said, "Well, I don't know if you'll get that monster in there, but I'm up for trying a finger or two."

"Ooookay," I said slowly. "Grab that lube over there."

She slid off my cock, tossed my hat on a chair, and got the tube from the night table. She climbed back on the bed on all fours and wiggled her ass in the air at me. I squeezed some lube onto my index finger and rubbed it against her asshole.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked. I figured I'd give her another opportunity to back out.

"Stick your finger up my ass, Brian. We'll call it a little Valentine's Day gift," she replied. I was pretty surprised. Angie had always been pretty quick to take our relationship to the next level, but I just couldn't believe that she was agreeing to this. 

"Ooh. That's chilly," she whispered as I spread the lube around. 

I pushed my finger, just a little bit, and twisted it from side to side until I felt her start to yield. When I was up to the first knuckle, she giggled a little. I kept pushing and twisting until my entire finger had been swallowed up by her sphincter. 

Through the wall we heard Momma's date making his entrance. "Oh, baby. You like that big, fat cock, don't you. I'm almost in baby."

"Harder, Sweetie. You won't get in if you don't puuuush. Oh, there it is. You're in. Keep going. Don't stop until you're in," my mother ordered. 

I guess that inspired Angie because she asked for another finger. I gave her what she wanted, but this time, I didn't wait for her to up the ante. As soon as I thought she had gotten used to the second finger, I added a third. 

"Is it wrong that I totally love this?" she whispered breathlessly. "I'm ready for the real thing. Stick your cock in my ass, Brian."

I decided that a new condom would be the way to go, and I lubricated it thoroughly after slipping it over my erection. 

While I was lubing, Mom was cumming. She was screaming, "You bastard. FUCK MY DIRTY ASS! I'm cummmming! Don't stop. Keep fucking meeeee!"

Apparently that was enough to send her date over the edge because the grunting noises he was making were shaking the walls of the apartment. "You are as good as they said you were," he told her.

We heard them rustling around a bit, then the toilet in Momma's bathroom flushed. I started over-lubing Angie's ass while they got settled in the next room. By the time we heard snoring through the wall, I was ready. I gave my fingers one last wiggle in Angie's anus and said, "Are you ready, Ang?"

"I think so," she replied nervously.

"Are you good on your hands and knees or should we change positions?" I asked.

"I guess this is as good as any to start," she said. "Do you think there's any position that hurts less?"

"I really don't know," I replied. I got behind her on my knees and put my hands on her bottom to rub her soft flesh. 

"Oh, Angie. I can't believe what I'm looking at. This is the hottest thing I've ever seen. I might cum before my cock hits your ass," I confessed. I leaned down to plant some soft kisses on her buttocks. 

"Be gentle, Baby," she said. "I'm scared." She was trembling a little bit which only made it hotter for me. I couldn't believe that I was about to have anal sex.

I scooted a little closer to her bottom, took my cock in my hand, and put it against her dripping pussy. I thrust into her a few times then I lined the tip of my penis up with her tiny, little opening. I couldn't imagine how my cock would fit in there.

"Take a deep breath," I told her. "I'm going in."

I applied a tiny bit of pressure, and nothing happened. I gave a tiny bit more. It was like trying to fuck a brick wall.

"Relax, Ang. I'm not going to get in unless you can relax," I said, softly caressing her bottom. "Tell me if I'm hurting you."

"I'm ok," she said, with an edge to her voice that I hadn't heard before. 

I slowly increased the pressure. I really didn't want to hurt her, but there would be no turning back now without causing a massive case of blue balls.

A low, guttural noise started to escape from Angie's throat, and I knew I was beginning to make some progress. I felt pressure enveloping the head of my cock as her asshole began to yield.

"That's it. Good girl. You're taking me right in," I said as the entire head of my cock finally breached her first ring. "Almost the whole head is in your ass, Sweetie."

Angie was breathing hard and fast, and was gripping the bedspread hard. I knew that she was trying hard not to cry out. 

"Ang, you can make a little noise. My mother is not going to hear anything until about noon tomorrow." Anal on Friday usually meant a hangover on Saturday.

"Just stop moving for a minute," she spat through clenched teeth. "This fucking hurts."

"Do you want to stop?" I asked. I knew I sounded disappointed and desperate, but I couldn't help it.

"Yes. No. I really want to do this. It just hurts. Stay still and let me get used to it," she said. The fattest part of my cock was already inside her, so I just hoped that she could.

"Maybe you should be the one moving. I'll stay still. You push back against me," I suggested. 

"Ok. I'll try." I felt her leaning back. "God...damn...that hurts like...fucking HELL!" The pitch of her voice got higher and higher and her voice hitched as the pain stabbed through her ass.

I watched my cock beginning to disappear. "Baby, you're doing it. You're taking it right in. Holy shit! This is so fuckin hot. You are so fuckin hot Angie."

By the time I was halfway in, her constant whimper was interrupted only by the sharp intake of breath that came each time a new stab of pain hit. I thought about pulling out and giving her a break, but she kept pushing back to impale herself farther onto my cock.

"That's it, Ang. Another inch and you've got it."

"Brian, it hurts," she whined. "I can't take it much longer. Help me. Just push it in. Please," she begged.

"Ang, seriously..."

"JUST FUCKING DO IT!" she snarled.

I did. With one thrust of my hips, my body was resting between her ass cheeks. I was in to the hilt, and it was good. I started to make some kind of incoherent moaning noise, but Angie yelled right out loud, "COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!!"

I didn't even try to shush her. I just let her yell. While she did, I started sliding my cock back out of her.

"No. Don't take it out. I want this. Don't stop now," she pleaded.

"Honey, I'm pulling it out so I can put it back in. Then I'll pull it out and slide it in again. I'm fucking your ass, Ang," I explained as I reversed direction and pushed into her again.

I added more lube to where my cock met her stretched anus, then continued fucking her with slow, smooth strokes in and out, reaching under her body to cup her tits. 

"Oh, Ang, your asshole is so tight. You are squeezing my cock so good. I love you, baby. I love your ass. Holy shit. I can't hang on for long. Does it feel good for you?" I really wanted to know, but I was afraid of her answer. 

I rolled her nipples between my fingers, which made her moan. 

"Ahh. It hurts like hell, but it's so kinky and nasty. I see why your mother likes it so much. Keep fucking my ass. Your cock feels so big," she dirty-talked me.

I suspected that she was just saying that to get me to cum faster, but it worked. As soon as she told me how big my cock was, my orgasm snuck up on me. I started shooting hot cum in her ass before I even had a chance to tell her what was happening. 

"I feel your cock twitching, baby. Are you cumming?" she asked. "Are you cumming in my ass?"

I forgot that I was wearing a condom, and that I had to remove it before I got too soft and lost it. I tossed it in the garbage can then helped Angie get up. We kissed lovingly for a minute, feeling pretty proud of what we had just done. I showed her to the bathroom so she could clean up while I stood guard in the hallway. 

We tiptoed back to my room and snuggled into my bed, under the covers this time. I kissed her on the forehead and whispered, "Happy Valentine's Day, Ang. Thank you for letting me do that."

She didn't hear me. She was already asleep.

~

I awoke the next morning to the shrill sound of the phone ringing. Since Angie was still sleeping in my bed, I didn't bother to answer. I heard my mother's sleepy voice through the wall. I started to dose off again.

Suddenly Mom was knocking on the door and turning the knob. She must have picked the lock because when I opened my eyes, she was standing there gaping at Angie and me. Angie had tried to hide under the blanket, but was unsuccessful. 

"Brian! What the hell is she doing here IN YOUR BED?" she said, much louder than she intended, I'm sure. She grabbed her temples and started rubbing. 

Before I could answer, her mystery man emerged from the bedroom and came down the hall. When he got to my doorway, he stopped to kiss my mother, and he glanced into the room. The look of amusement on his face was pretty funny, and I actually laughed out loud. 

"Well, this is uncomfortable," he said with a smile.

My mother turned to him and whispered something. He gave a wave and left through the front door. Mom turned back to us and said, "Brian, Aunt Sylvia has had a stroke. We need to go to Ohio right away." She looked at Angie and said, "Angela, you need to get dressed, then Brian will take you home. 

"I'm going to try to get us a flight today or tonight. We'll probably be gone for a while though. Brian, you can write her a letter when we get there. Make sure you write down her address." Tears were beginning to run down Momma's face, and she turned and went back to her room. And just like that, we moved to Ohio forever.

~~~~~

Aunt Sylvia died before our plane even landed. 

The next several days were consumed by funeral arrangements and trying to get our belongings to Ohio from Texas. Momma had inherited Aunt Syl's house, and after the awkward meeting in the hallway outside of my bedroom, I think she realized that a fresh start wouldn't be such a bad idea. Although Aunt Syl would have had me enrolled in school for the afternoon after the funeral, I didn't actually start until the following Monday. As I walked into homeroom at Thompson High School, I felt like I was in sixth grade again. Everyone was staring, this time with more interest than scorn, especially from the girls. I wondered when I would run into Heidi and Eric.

I didn't have to wait long. As my new English teacher showed me to my seat, I looked around the classroom. None of the faces looked familiar, but I was looking at adults now. The last time I saw any of them, we were all children. It was hard to imagine the sixth graders I knew behind beards and breasts.

Mrs. Kelley announced to the class, "Everybody, this is Brian Evans." 

I heard a squeal and saw a girl with a blonde ponytail and perky tits jumping out of her seat. It was her. I just knew it. 

"Heidi?" I asked, as she threw her arms around my neck. "Is that you?"

"Ohmygod, Brian! I didn't know you were back! Are you staying?" she said, all in one breath.

"Yeah. Aunt Syl died and Momma thought we could use a change. We're living at Aunt Syl's," I explained.

"Ok, folks. You can catch up later. Brian, here's your book. We're on page 268," Mrs. Kelley said.

~

Lunchtime was much easier this time too. As I walked through the cafeteria with my tray, I saw girls making room and looking at me with funny looks on their faces. I think they were hoping I would sit with them, but that might have been my imagination. 

I was looking for Heidi. I didn't think to ask her which lunch she had, but I was hoping it was the same as mine. Instead, I found Eric. 

I didn't recognize him, but I guess he had heard that I was back in town because he recognized me right away. We came face-to-face while I was looking for a seat. He looked startled. 

"Tex! What the hell are you doing here?" he exclaimed. He didn't sound angry at first, and he almost looked happy to see me. 

"Aunt Syl died. We're living in her house. I still gotta graduate, so here I am," I replied. "Does Heidi have this lunch?"

That changed his demeanor in a hurry. He scowled and said, "No. She eats first lunch. I suppose you can sit with me, if you don't have anywhere else to sit."

I followed him to a seat. "So," I said.

"So," he replied. 

I could see that this was going to be uncomfortable. 

Eric finally answered the question that was hanging in the air. "Me and Heidi, we're together, you know. We've been goin' out since eighth grade." He looked a little arrogant while he said it.

"That's cool," I said, trying not to show my disappointment. "I figured you would be." I was relieved when some other students sat down with us so we didn't have to try to think of something else to say. 

Small talk and reintroductions filled the last ten minutes of the lunch period. Just as the bell rang, Eric said, "Maybe you'll be here long enough to see some snow this time, huh, Tex?"

I certainly hoped so.

~

I have never gone on as many double dates as I did in the last few months of senior year. It was as close as I could get to dating Heidi, I guess. I suspect that Eric wished that I would just stay home, but it was a lot like sixth grade. The three of us were usually together. If Eric and Heidi wanted some romantic time, they brought a friend for me. I didn't mind so much though. My Texas accent that was the cause of so much ridicule in sixth grade was suddenly irresistible to the girls from Ohio, and it wasn't hard for me to find a date.

It was a small town with not much to do though, so many of our dates were just to hang out in somebody's basement and play video games. The interesting part about that was that I could usually get a blowjob out of it at least. It wasn't even my idea, most of the time. There was so much hanky-panky going on at these "parties" that the girl I was with would have to feel like she was keeping up with her friends, especially when she was on a date with Tex. Sometimes I'd end up getting blown by some girl that wasn't even my date. 

One night in March, Heidi and Eric were upstairs, probably having sex in someone's bedroom. I was in the basement, making out with my date. All of a sudden Heidi came running downstairs, calling me while she adjusted her top.

"Brian! It's snowing! Come see!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, Tex. Here's your fuckin snow," Eric added with a nasty edge to his voice. He must have been pissed that his blowjob had been interrupted because I wanted to see snow.

I grabbed my date's hand and we rushed outside. It was cold and it was just a light snowfall, but I was thrilled. Heidi and Eric went back inside to finish what they started, and my date and I stood out in the backyard watching it snow. It was way too cold to be out without coats, never mind pants, but suddenly I felt her hands on my belt buckle. 

"Aren't we gonna freeze out here?" I asked her. 

She simply replied, "Nope." She pulled my pants down, just far enough to free my cock and balls, and got on her knees. She took my cock right into her mouth, taking no time to tease. Right from the start, her tongue was rubbing up and down my cock, and she moved her head up and down, fucking me with her whole head. This was obviously not her first BJ, and it was not taking her long to get me going.

It was freezing, and I could feel the snow hitting my exposed skin. Suddenly, she pulled her mouth off my cock and allowed some snowflakes to land on my penis. The cold was exquisite, especially when she took me back into her nice, warm mouth. That was so hot, so erotic. I felt the cum boiling up in my balls. 

"Oh, baby. That was hot. Suck my cock, baby. You're gonna make me cuuuuuuummmmm," I groaned. I spurted load after load of hot cum into her mouth and watched as snowflakes landed on her eyelashes and nose.

Unfortunately, the snow didn't stick, and we didn't see more than a few flakes for the rest of the winter. ~ The other big improvement was that I had arrived early enough for baseball try-outs that year, and I made the team. So did Eric. Neither of us were stars on the team, but we played together and managed to get along as teammates. Heidi was at every game, cheering us on, and most of the season was pretty pleasant- except for the Abington game. It was my best game of the season, and I caught the pop-fly that ended the game and gave us the win. Everyone was jumping up and down and cheering for me. I'm not usually comfortable being in the spotlight, but I have to admit, it was cool. Heidi came running from the bleachers, and made the mistake of running right past Eric to congratulate me. She threw her arms around me and kissed me, right on the lips. It was one of those movie moments, where the people around us seemed to disappear and time stood still for a second. I knew I was holding onto that kiss for too long, but I couldn't help it. My tongue acted on its own when it poked ever-so-gently between her lips. That's when Eric caught up with us. He pulled my arm and broke us apart forcefully. I was praying that he hadn't seen my tongue in his girlfriend's mouth. 




Snowball's Chance



"What the fuck are you doing?" he screamed at both of us. I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears, betraying just how jealous he was. 

Heidi stammered a little. Her face was flushed, and I think it was obvious that the kiss had gotten to her. I stepped up and took the blame. "It was my fault. I got caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry, man."

He cocked his arm back, as if to punch me in the face. This time Heidi saw it coming and pulled him back. 

"Let's go, Heidi," he said as he grabbed her by the hand and led her to his car. I stayed behind and rode the bus back to school with the rest of the team. 

~

It took a few weeks for the baseball incident to smooth itself over, but by graduation we were back to our normal threesome. After the ceremony, we sat at the House of Pizza discussing the future. "What are you going to do next year, Brian? Have you even applied to colleges yet?" Heidi asked. "Nah. I'm going to the community college. We don't have the money for me to go away or anything," I replied. "What about you guys?" "We're going to Ohio State," Eric replied. "I mean, I am anyway. Heidi got accepted too, but she's still waffling."

"I just don't think I can afford it," she said. "Maybe community college would be the way to go."

I saw a dark cloud move across Eric's face. "Don't worry," I said. "I'll leave your girlfriend alone." 

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," he back-pedaled. "I just want her to come with me."

"C'mon, guys. Don't do this," Heidi interrupted. "There's nothing between Brian and me."

"We'll see," Eric muttered, getting the last word in.

I changed the subject. "Are you guys getting summer jobs? I applied at the bowling alley. I think they're looking for more summer help."

~

And that's how our summer went. Just like our summer at the YMCA, the three of us were together all the time. Only this time, Eric was watching us like hawks. If I accidentally bumped into Heidi, he was right there, telling me to knock it off. If she smiled at me, he stepped between us. His jealousy hung over us like mosquito netting and often erupted into anger, mostly directed at me. 

It was hard to ignore my feelings though. If I thought about that kiss on the baseball field, I'd be miserable. My cock would be hard, and I would be lonely. I was beginning to think that if Heidi did not go to Ohio State, that maybe I'd have to leave town. I didn't think I could manage this torturous friendship without Eric's anger to keep my libido and my heart in check.

~

In the end, I couldn't do it. Eric left. Heidi stayed. I stayed too. 

Throughout the fall, we adjusted to a new dynamic- Heidi and me and no Eric. It just didn't make real sense after so much of our time was spent together. We had a couple of classes together and we still worked at the bowling alley. We spent our free time studying or just hanging out together. 

I thought I'd be a lot happier having Heidi to myself, but it was almost more difficult. Without Eric around I still had to hide my feelings, but it was easier to forget that I had to hide them. Several times I came close to spilling it and just telling her how I felt. I was also not having any dates now that I wasn't a third wheel. Heidi and I were always together, but there wasn't a snowball's chance in Hell that she was going to suddenly drop to her knees and give me a blowjob or anything. 

I never thought I'd say this, but I actually wished that Eric hadn't left, and that things had continued like they were. ~ Christmas came and Eric came home for a few weeks. It was an uncomfortable reunion though. Eric's temper was very short with Heidi, and he was nasty to me. 

The two of them actually went on dates by themselves for the first couple of weeks. I was a little lonely, and I started thinking about how dysfunctional this threesome was. 

He practically accused me of fucking his girlfriend while he was gone. Nothing Heidi or I said would convince him that she was faithful to him and that we were still just friends, even when he wasn't there. His mood was foul for the entire winter break, and he started to discuss the idea of transferring closer to home next year. It was a relief to see him go back to school. It was the end of January, and we prepared to return to our "Sans-Eric" routine. We were watching the news one night as we studied for our first accounting exam of the semester. They were actually predicting a couple of inches of snow for the next evening. I was thrilled.

~

The snowstorm turned out to be what Heidi called a "nuisance storm"- not enough snow to be any fun, but plenty of snow to make the driving a bitch. When the flakes were starting to taper off, she called me.

"Brian. I'm picking you up in ten minutes. I'm going to teach you to drive in the snow," she informed me. 

I was unaware such lessons would be required, but I figured it would be fun anyway. She pulled up in front of the house, and moved into the passenger seat of her 1987 Buick Skylark. I got behind the wheel and buckled up.

"Don't step too hard on the gas. You'll spin the tires," she said. I gently placed my foot on the gas and we slowly started to move. I picked up a little speed, and she said, "Not too fast. You have to stay in control." When we approached the stop sign at the end of the street, she said, "Now pump the brakes."

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked as I started to apply pressure to the brake pedal. "Step-release-step-release, as fast as you can!" she said in a panic. 

I couldn't get it right fast enough, and we began to skid.

"Whoa! What do I do?" I shouted.

"Steer into the skid. Steer in the direction you're skidding and PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES!" she screamed. 

Fortunately there was nothing coming toward us because we skidded right through the intersection and into somebody's yard. The car came to a stop against the fence. We sat there staring at the fence, hearts pounding, thankful that we weren't killed.

"Okay. That's enough of you driving in the snow," she declared. She reached out to me to hug me. Something about that moment was so electrically charged that I leaned in to kiss her. She hesitated, then parted her lips and kissed me. We sat there in the practically crashed car, making out like I had dreamed of since I learned what making out was. Her mouth was soft and warm, and she tasted like a mint. When her tongue made its way into my mouth, I thought I would die and go to heaven right then and there.

Suddenly she broke away from me saying, "Oh, God. We can't do this."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing," I said. "Let's get out of here." My cock was throbbing, and I tried to hide my erection from her.

I got out of the car so she could drive us home. When we pulled up in front of my house, I apologized again and went into the house. I was grateful that Mom wasn't home because I masturbated for the first time in weeks. When I came, I yelled as loudly as my mother did when she took it up the ass. It was satisfying, but I felt like shit afterward.

~

We didn't see each other much for the next couple of weeks. I didn't know if she told Eric about our kiss or not, but life went on. We still carpooled to school. We still worked at the bowling alley. We still studied together. It was uncomfortable though, and I felt like my time with Heidi was nearing its end. I started thinking about applying to schools in Texas, just to get away from this dysfunctional ménage à trois. 

The Tuesday before Valentine's Day, the phone rang. I answered it on the third ring. It was Heidi. She sounded breathless from excitement. 

"Brian! I think this is it. I think he's gonna propose to me. He's taking me to the cabin this weekend for Valentine's Day. He wants it to be extra-special!" she practically screamed into the phone. 

"Who is this?" I teased, just to bring her back to Earth.

"It's me, silly. I'm so excited. He said he was just at the jewelry store, and that we're going to have a special weekend at the cabin this weekend. I wonder how big the diamond is," she continued.

I frowned, glad that she couldn't see my face over the phone. "Aren't you a little young to be engaged?" I asked. We had just graduated from high school eight months ago.

"Well, it's not like we're going to get married this weekend. I think he just misses me," she said. She sounded a little hurt. 

"Do you think maybe he's just trying to mark his territory? To make sure that no one else thinks that you might be available?" I asked. I knew I sounded harsh, but I was getting pissed.

I felt sick to my stomach. I was about to lose her forever to him. To freaking Eric. He didn't deserve her. He was mean, for crying out loud. He didn't freaking deserve her! I had to get off the phone fast.

"Heidi," I interrupted. "I gotta go. Congrats, Honey. You can tell me all about it later." I slammed down the phone and went to my room. I was pissed.

Valentine's Day was just days away. I thought about trying to stop this proposal from happening, but I knew that I would just push her away from me if I tried. I began wishing and hoping that someone or something would interrupt their plans. On Wednesday, Al Roker answered my prayers.

"It'll be a snowy Valentine's Day in the Ohio Valley on Friday as a Noreaster churns in your direction," Al announced.

I called Heidi. "A Noreaster- is that bad?" I asked.

"Sometimes we get a blizzard," she explained. "This is exciting. You'll finally see some real snow."

I had to admit that I was looking forward to that, but I didn't know if I could be happy about it without Heidi. Knowing that she was with Eric, promising to become his wife, it was too much to even think about. She should be with me. I've loved her forever.

But if it really snowed...

"Will you be able to drive to the cabin if it snows that hard?" I asked.

She laughed a little and said, "Yeah. I drive a lot better in the snow than you do, you know. If it's really bad, I'll have to wait until the roads are plowed, but I should be able to make it."

"I'd hate to see you miss it," I lied.

"I have my snow tires, and I'll be careful. Don't worry," she assured me.

I didn't like it, but I guessed that it was out of my hands.

~

Valentine's Day arrived, and my heart was heavy. I was going to lose her, and I was powerless to stop it. I walked to my car to go to my College Math class, and I saw the first flakes land on my windshield. I'd heard Eric talking about the smell of snow once, but I couldn't smell anything different. I felt a burst of excitement in my belly at the thought of a big snowstorm, but it was instantly dulled when I remembered what day it was. 

My morning classes went on as usual, but everyone was talking about what time the college would close because of the snow. We finally got our answer around lunchtime. School was closing at two. Yippie. My classes were finished by then anyway. 

After class I drove home, parked my car in the driveway, and just wallowed in my misery. I sat at the window and watched the snow fall. Finally I could take no more. A completely irrational idea arose in my head, and I put on the boots I had bought last year when I arrived in Ohio, a hat, gloves, and my winter jacket. I started walking down the street, towards the woods. I had been to Eric's cabin many times the summer my dad died, and we always walked through the woods. I hoped I remembered the way.

I did, pretty much. I fumbled through the snow, losing my way and backtracking more than once. I was colder than I had ever been in my life, since most of my life I lived in nice, warm Texas. My feet were like Popcicles, and my wet hat had soaked right through to my head. There were snowflakes in my eyelashes and eyebrows, and I was ready to turn back and abandon this ridiculous plan.

I stopped and looked around, completely disoriented. The snow was falling so hard and fast that I couldn't see, and it was unnaturally quiet. I listened for the birds and squirrels running through the leaves and downed branches, but heard nothing but the soft tapping of the snowflakes landing on the waterproof fabric of my jacket. I sniffed the air like an animal would, not knowing what I was hoping for. I was rewarded with a nose full of snowflakes. I sneezed then cleared my face with a wet glove. 

I decided that I didn't have time to figure out where I was. It was beginning to get dark, and I knew that I'd have to keep moving if I didn't want to freeze to death. I forced my feet to step forward and tried to keep from panicking. 

As I walked, I fumed out loud.

"How can she marry him? Doesn't she see that she should be with me? He's an asshole. He's been terrible to me since sixth grade. I hate him. Why doesn't she hate him?"

On and on I walked. On and on I talked out loud to no one. This was a stupid idea. What made me think that spoiling her big night would make her see that she should be with me? Just the thought of the "big night" started my rant anew. 

I was really getting going, when I suddenly tripped over a branch, and landed in the soft snow face-first. 

When I rolled over to sit up, I was like an enraged animal, roaring my pain and anger into the snow falling from the sky. Then I realized that I could smell the faint smell of smoke at the back of my throat. I looked around, half expecting to see a bonfire mirage behind me. Instead I saw that I had come to a clearing. 

It was almost completely dark, but through the snow I could see some light. I couldn't tell what kind of light it was, but I got to my feet and started walking towards it. As I approached I could see that it wasn't just one light. I could see a cabin with candles and lanterns in the windows. The snow made each flame appear to be surrounded by a halo of soft light. It was breathtaking.

The cold must have frozen my brain because it took a moment for me to realize whose cabin I was approaching. This was my intended destination, Eric's cabin! The lights I had been following were the candles he lit to seduce Heidi. MY Heidi. I began to run, hoping I wasn't too late to stop the proposal.

I stopped in the front of the cabin, about twenty five yards from the porch. It wasn't until that moment that I realized that I didn't even have a plan of attack. What was I going to say to them? To her? 

I took a deep breath of the cold air, and listened to the snow falling once again. I looked toward the woods and saw a magnificent buck not far from where I had just been lying in the snow. I turned back toward the soft haloes of light in the windows when the front door of the cabin flew open. Eric stepped onto the porch, alone.

I rushed toward the cabin in a burst of courage. "Where is she, Eric?" I yelled.

"She didn't come, you fucker," he yelled back. My heart leapt. Maybe she had changed her mind. Maybe she thought about it and realized that she belonged with me.

Something hard, wet, and cold on my face brought me back to reality.

"What the fuck was that?" I yelled, trying to maintain my balance in the deep snow.

"A snowball, you idiot," he replied, punctuating his answer with another snowball in my face.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Three snowballs hit me, right in a row. His aim was excellent. This time he got my head, my shoulder, and my groin. I fell over on my side into the snow. I was cupping my poor balls with my gloved hands, but it didn't help. 

In the meantime, Eric was striding across the yard the best he could in the deep snow. I jumped to my feet to face him. When he was about five feet away, he stopped. He was wearing jeans, a turtle neck, and boots, and nothing else. He looked around, and again I noticed how quiet it was. Suddenly that quiet made sense to me. The snow covered everything like a blanket, and absorbed all of the sound around us. 

"Where is she?" I asked again.

"Are you fuckin deaf? She didn't come. It's Valentine's Day. I was going to ask her to marry me, and she didn't come," he spat.

I thought about the snow. 

"Maybe her car got stuck?" I ventured. I didn't know why I was trying to make him feel better. I had hated him since the first time he called me "Tex", and he was about to marry the love of my life.

"No way. She knows how to drive in the snow," he retorted. "What the fuck are you doing here, Douchebag?"

I didn't know what to say. I never considered that he would be here alone. My hesitation seemed to answer his question though, and it sent him into a rage. 

He took two giant steps toward me and swung his fist toward my face. I tried to deflect it, but he got me in the cheekbone anyway. I hadn't been punched in the face since the time he had hit me in sixth grade, and I was unprepared for the pain to my face. 

He hit me twice more before I could even think of fighting back or protecting myself. I managed to hit him twice in the gut before he tackled me to the ground. He straddled my waist and brought his fist back, as if to pulverize my face, when he suddenly stopped. I was terrified. I truly thought he would beat me to death right at that moment. For a moment we just stayed there, staring each other down while the snow fell down on us.

Then, instead of punching me again, he lowered his face to mine and kissed me on the lips, his tongue forcing itself roughly into my mouth. Before I could stop myself, my mouth opened to accept his tongue. His lips were soft, his tongue warm and wet. I felt my tongue reach his, and a shudder ran through my body. For that moment the world outside of that snowy clearing ceased to exist. All that was left was the two of us and this kiss.

After a long moment, I snapped back to my senses. I summoned all of my strength and threw Eric off me and into the snow. He jumped to his feet, and ran toward the cabin. I couldn't see his face in the dark, but I was guessing his face was as red-hot as mine felt. I stood there in the snow for what seemed like an eternity before realizing that I really did need to get out of the cold. I walked to the cabin and let myself in without knocking.

There was a glorious fire in the fireplace. I didn't see or hear Eric, so I carefully removed my clothes, except for my boxers, and laid them in front of the fire to dry. There was an old, hand-made afghan on the back of the couch, so I wrapped myself in it. I pulled the rocking chair closer to the fire, and began to thaw out.

I looked around and saw that Eric had prepared for a romantic Valentine's Day with Heidi. I saw dozens and dozens of red roses, champagne and glasses, strawberries and chocolates, all tastefully arranged around the room. On the table next to the couch I saw a bottle of K-Y and a bright red vibrator. I wondered where the diamond ring was and who bought the champagne.

I dozed for a while in the warmth of the fireplace. When I woke, Eric was placing another log on the fire. I jumped out of the chair, ready to defend myself.

"Easy, Tex," Eric said. 

He was wearing dry jeans with no shirt. I was in my boxers with the afghan around my shoulders. I thought to myself, "His grandmother probably made this, for Christ's sake."

I turned to keep him facing me, but he stepped closer.

"What time is it?" I asked, for lack of anything more intelligent to say.

"A lil after minnight," he slurred. 

He took another step toward me, and without another word, he shoved his hand into my boxer shorts and grabbed my cock.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" I demanded.

"I dunno, Tex," he replied, with a horrified look on his face.

"Take your hand off my cock, dude," I said, dumbfounded.

"Okay," he said in a shaky voice, but he made no effort to remove his hand from my underwear.

He looked absolutely terrified, completely bewildered as he stood there with his hand in my shorts. I felt him gripping my cock even tighter, and he began stroking up and down my shaft. Until that moment, I hadn't realized that I was hard. As he stroked, I pulled down my boxers, allowing him full access to my privates. I took a deep breath and moaned. I was aware that he was drunk, but I was stone-sober, and I felt like I was waking up from a coma.




Snowball's Chance



I had spent almost half of my life hating this person. To me he was the symbol of everything bad in my life. If I thought about my dad's death, I thought of Eric. Thoughts of Heidi, the love of my life, led to thoughts of Eric. For all these years I had held on to the irrational, unconscious belief that Eric was the source of all of my misery, and I hated him for it.

And now he was giving me a hand job.

With each stroke of his hand, my rage increased. Each pump intensified my anger, my fear, and my arousal. The faster he stroked, the more I felt like I needed to scream, to knock his block off, to escape. When I knew I could take no more, I broke away from his grip. For a moment I stood still, boxers around my ankles, hard on throbbing, just looking at the man who had been my nemesis for the last 8 years. I was shaking, and I started to feel dizzy, like the room was moving under me. 

I saw red, and I snapped. With a roar of rage, I kicked off my boxers and rushed at him. I unbuttoned his jeans with only a little bit of trouble, unzipped his fly and tugged his jeans and boxer-briefs down around his knees. He was so surprised, he made no attempt to defend himself. I pushed him hard to bend him over the arm of the rocking chair, but the chair wasn't sturdy enough, and it fell over, taking Eric with it. I grabbed him by the waist to pull his ass into the air. 

"Nooo!" he yelled.

I didn't reply. I struggled to subdue him. I put my forearm around the front of his throat, which gave me the temporary advantage, then shoved my foot between his thighs and forced his legs apart. It was an awkward angle, which allowed him to press his legs back together. I began slapping his ass, one buttock at a time. He cried out with each smack and tried to scramble away on his hands and knees. The rocking chair kept him from getting away from me. 

When my hand started stinging, I began to gently caress his bright-red butt cheeks. He was still drunk, and he began to relax a little bit. 

Again I spread his legs with my foot. It was easier this time because his knees weren't tucked under him anymore. Once his legs were apart, I pulled his ass closer to me once again. As he got to his knees and his cheeks spread before me, I hesitated, realizing what I intended to do.

Eric was sobbing softly. When I paused my attack, he made a lame attempt to get up, and I held him down lightly with my foot. He stopped crying long enough to yell, "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"

For the second time that day, I saw red.

"I ruined everything? YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" I screamed.

I wasn't even aware that I wasn't making sense. His accusation enraged me, and I resumed my assault. I pushed him down with my foot, harder this time. There was no turning back. I placed the head of my still-rock-hard cock against his exposed asshole. I leaned in, intending to tear his asshole open. His screams of pain and anger didn't stop me, but I knew that some lubrication would be necessary if I expected my cock to get in there.

I lowered my head and spit on his asshole three times. I briefly considered making him suck my cock, but I knew I would lose my position of control over him if I moved. He definitely had the size advantage. I was only in control because he was drunk and I was fueled by red-hot rage.

I spit on my own hand several times. While he cried and cursed at me, I rubbed my saliva-coated hand up and down my shaft. 

I leaned in once again, and pressed my cock against him. I pushed hard, not caring that I was hurting him. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel all of the pain that he had inflicted on me for so many years. He had started this nonsense, after all. He hit me first. He kissed me first. He jacked my cock, for Christ's sake!

I gave one sharp push into him, and I felt pressure surrounding the head of my cock. I felt a spasm of pleasure spread through my groin and stomach even while he screamed. 

I gave him only seconds to register what was happening, that I was raping his virgin asshole, before I thrust again. While my cock entered him so slowly, I spit again, this time on my cock and his anal ring at the same time. I could see his hole opening wider as my shaft slipped inside.

The extreme tightness of his anus mixed with the feeling of power it created brought pleasure to my body that I'd never felt before. I had not had anal sex since last Valentine's Day with Angie. That night I was concerned about hurting her. Raping Eric was a completely different experience, and I decided to enjoy it.

When I felt the flesh between his cheeks against my groin, I knew that I had hit bottom. Eric was yelling, sobbing, and cursing, and I just didn't care. I looked down and smiled at the sight of his sensitive hole stretched and pink around my cock. I placed my hands on his buttocks and began sliding back out of his ass. I pulled out in one long, slow movement and gave him no reprieve before entering him once again.

I felt him relax a bit as he stretched to accommodate me. He was still sobbing, but he had stopped cursing. I caressed his buttocks gently as I fucked him, but I did not speak. After a couple of minutes, Eric broke the silence.

"Brian?"

He had never called me "Brian" before.

"Brian. There's some lube on the table over there. Maybe we could use that?" he suggested quietly.

Hearing him say my name, my REAL name, cut through my rage, and brought tears to my eyes. Without speaking I gently withdrew my cock from his anus, and helped him to his feet. When he turned to face me, I saw that his cock was as hard as mine was. He kicked his jeans off his feet, and we hesitated a moment before wrapping our arms around each other. He was taller than I, and he kissed the top of my head and stroked my back. 

He said, "You know I didn't kill your father, right? He was dead before we met."

"I know," I whispered.

Eric took me by the hand and led me out of the room, stopping to pick up the lube on the way by. He showed me to the bathroom where I washed up while he poured some wine for me. 

He took my hand once again and led me to his room. It was filled with roses and candles for Heidi. I thought about the carnations and kitchen candles I had arranged for Angie last year, and felt a little bit inadequate. There was a half-eaten box of chocolates on the bed which reminded me how long it had been since I'd eaten. 

He smiled sheepishly, "Go ahead. I was hungry too." I had a vanilla crème. 

He pulled the blankets off the bed so we could cover ourselves. We sat facing each other, and it was a bit of a relief to not be staring at his cock.

"Eric, we should talk about this," I said, looking into his red-rimmed eyes.

He looked down at the bed and said, "I don't know what's happening to me. When you were fucking me, I mean, after you got in there and everything, I liked it. I liked it a lot. I've been with Heidi for my entire life practically, but I think... You know..."

The mention of Heidi's name set me off again. 

"What do I know? What the fuck do I know?" I shouted. "Here's what I know. You have been fuckin terrible to me for my entire life. The first day I met you, you made fun of my dad, who had been dead for less than two weeks, and you punched me in the face.

"I have tolerated you for all of these years because you were attached at the hip to my only real friend, the only person in sixth grade who was nice to me here. You teased me, you belittled me, and you kept me from being with Heidi," I ranted.

"But..."

I cut him off. 

"I have hated you for half of my life, and now you are marrying my Heidi."

"Whoa. Slow down, Tex," he said, putting his hands up defensively.

"Don't fucking call me Tex," I growled.

"Ok, Brian. First of all, it doesn't look like I'll be marrying her. She isn't even here. Second of all, I don't think Heidi has any idea that you feel this way. How can she be 'yours' if you've never even expressed interest in her?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"And third of all, why did you say that I killed your father? I don't get it," he said gently.

"I'm sure a psychologist could explain it all in nice, neat terms, but I guess I just had too many bad feelings at once. They got a little mixed up in my head," I replied. "I think I blame you for a lot of things.

"And while we're on the topic," I continued, "what did you mean when you said that I ruined everything. I don't think I'm the reason Heidi isn't here. I'm sure it's the snow."

"That's not what I meant," he said in a low tone, staring at the box of chocolates.

I let him gather his thoughts while I downed the glass of wine. I was afraid of what he would say next. 

"Me and Heidi have been friends since we were babies," he began. "We went to nursery school together and everything. When you came to Miss Duffy's class, she could not stop talking about you- your clothes, your accent, the way you called Miss Duffy 'ma'am'. We were just friends, but you changed our friendship somehow. 

"When you left, it was like you died to her. She cried. She wrote your name with little hearts around it. She stared at your picture and pretended to kiss it. It was disgusting," he added.

"In junior high we actually started dating, but she was still hung up on you. I'd kiss her, and she'd say, 'I wonder if Brian kisses with his tongue,' or something like that. She'd always laugh and say, 'I can say that 'cuz he's so far away. It's not like he's gonna show up here to kiss me.' You were our third wheel even when you weren't here, you see?"

He stopped to refill my wine glass.

"But how does this..." I started to ask.

"After a while I started wondering what it would be like to kiss you too," Eric confessed.

He grabbed the wine glass from my hand and drank it straight down. I guess he was starting to sober up.

"We'd be making out. I'd have my hand up Heidi's shirt, feeling her tits, and I'd start thinking about putting my other hand down your pants."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Again I tried to speak, and he cut me off.

"When you came back here before graduation, you ruined everything. Heidi wanted you and so did I. You were so cool to her though that she just clung tighter to me. We have sex all the time, but I think we're both thinking of you when we're doing it. I hate myself," he said, trailing off as his eyes welled up again. 

I fought the urge to hold him. "You better fill that glass again, Eric," I said. "This is pretty heavy."

He filled my glass and let me have a few sips before he spoke again. 

"Brian, I know this is crazy, but I need to know. Do you have any feelings at all for me?" he asked.

"Other than the fact that I hate your guts, you mean?" I asked with a snarky smile.

"Do you really hate me? Do you think you might...?"

I put my hand to his lips to quiet him. As I did, he kissed my fingers. 

I took the blanket from my lap and uncovered myself. Eric's eyes dropped immediately to my very hard penis. I said, "I've never even thought about sex with another guy until tonight. I don't really know what to do next."

Instead of responding, Eric pushed me back on the bed and knelt between my legs. I felt his erection brush against my leg, and I shuddered a little bit. He placed his hand on my cock and swirled his thumb around my slit, making the whole head slippery with my pre-cum. He looked up into my eyes, as if to ask permission. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

When his mouth went down on my cock for the first time, I felt a little dizzy. It had been months since I had a blowjob from anyone, and from Eric? This was almost too much to take. He took me all the way into his mouth, so I could feel my cock poking at the entrance to his throat. He gagged and withdrew his mouth from my erection. He took a minute to catch his breath then licked me from base to tip. I reached down and ruffled his hair and pushed his head down farther on my cock. His moan let me know that he was happy to take direction.

He sucked me hard for a minute then eased up. I was starting to buck my hips a little, so he bobbed his head up and down, fucking me with his face. I felt his hand cup my balls, which I loved.

"Lick my balls, Eric," I moaned. He complied, but I needed his mouth back on my cock. I pushed his head back in that direction with both hands this time. I felt a jolt of power, that the one I felt when I was fucking his ass downstairs. I held his head tightly against my groin, making him gag again.

Eric got his retaliation with his fingers though. I didn't see him grab the K-Y and begin lubing his fingers, so I jumped a mile when his cold pointer touched my sphincter. I gave a little yelp.

He looked up at me, my cock still in his mouth. I was taken aback by the sight of Eric's face with my dick sticking out of it, his big, blue eyes looking so innocent. Before I could process that feeling though, I felt his cold finger applying pressure to my anus. He began twisting the finger from side to side, and I felt a little like I was in the doctor's office. (My doctor in Texas had given me a rectal exam at my last physical, which I still believed was completely unnecessary for someone of my age.)

Suddenly, his cold, wet finger disappeared into my ass. Of all the girls that had blown me in the past, not one had ever penetrated my ass while they sucked my cock. "Aaaahhhh," was all I could muster.

How he could coordinate the movements of his tongue against the bottom of my erection with the finger fucking me in and out was beyond me, but I knew that it wouldn't be long before I filled his mouth with my seed. I started thrusting my hips in time with his finger and within about a minute and a half, I was there.

"Eric, I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum in your mouth, Dude. I'm gonna cuuuuummmmm!" I yelled as I held his head firmly in place. My orgasm was making up for months of loneliness and hurt and years of jealousy and hate. It was as if I was ejaculating all of the badness out of me, and when Eric swallowed my cum, it was gone. 

"Did I do ok?" Eric asked. I guided him up to me so I could kiss him again.

"Eric, that was the best blowjob I've ever had. Bar none," I added. "You are an amazing cocksucker."

"You would never believe how many times I have dreaming of doing that to you. Or having you do that to me," he said.

"I'm really nervous about that," I said. "I've only tasted my own cum in a girl's mouth. I'm not sure I could handle a mouthful."

"Brian, I don't want to push my luck here, but if you wanted to just try sucking me for a minute. I promise I won't cum in your mouth." He sounded close to begging.

"Ok. But stand up. I think it would be easier for me if I was on my knees," I suggested. I took a look at his cock. I hadn't really noticed it before, even when I was fucking him downstairs. It was a magnificent piece of equipment. It wasn't huge, but it absolutely perfect in shape, girth, color. I realized that I was getting hard again, just thinking about this big cock I was about to suck. I put my lips to the head of his cock and tasted his pre-cum. "It's now or never," I thought to myself, and I took him all the way in before I could change my mind. His sigh was all the encouragement I needed, and I began suckling his erection. As I gained confidence, I began to lick just below the head, just like I liked it. His hips twitched, and I knew I was getting it right. 

I felt his hands in my hair and felt such a feeling of overwhelming love stab through me. I knelt there with Eric's cock in my mouth wondering why I hadn't seen this before. I didn't hate him. I loved him. For all these months, I had channeled my feelings into hatred, something less scary than being in love with a man.

Then I thought about Heidi. Where did she fit into this picture? She had to know on some level that her relationship with Eric was flawed. And did I actually love her, or was it Eric all along? I just didn't know. 

"Brian, I'm getting close. You better stop," Eric warned. 

I did stop, and I got to my feet. I put my arms around him, and tipped my head back to kiss him. As we kissed, Eric's finger slipped between my buttocks again. "Did you like it when I put my finger inside you?" he asked tentatively. "Yeah. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I did," I replied. 

"Have you ever had, you know, anal sex?" he asked.

"Once. Last Valentine's Day. Of course, I was the one doing the fucking. My girlfriend, Angie, was really cool about it. It was awesome," I said.

"But you've never been on the bottom?" he asked, biting his lip nervously.

I finally realized what he was getting at. This was a whole new level of bizarre. He wanted to fuck me in the ass. My head was spinning. It spun even more when I heard what came out of my mouth next, "Eric, I know I don't deserve it after what I did to you tonight, but please be gentle. I'm a virgin."

I went to get on all fours, but Eric stopped me. "Here, lie on your back. I want to look at you while I make love to you."

I situated myself comfortably and spread my legs for him. I thought about the girls that had spread their legs for me in the last year, and I felt a true appreciation for their vulnerability. He took the K-Y and lubed his cock and my ass generously. I was nervous, shaking even, but I knew I would see this through because I loved him.

"I love you, Eric. I don't know why I never saw it before," I said. There were tears in his eyes as he leaned forward and pushed my legs up toward my chest. I had never felt so naked and exposed, and I loved it. 

I felt pressure on my anus, and I tried to relax. As the pressure increased, so did the pain. I thought back to last Valentine's Day- my mom screaming through the wall, Angie writhing under me. Now I understood. It was as though a white-hot poker was being shoved up my ass. The pain was exquisite. I felt my anus stretching to accommodate Eric's cock, but every small movement shot pain into my asshole.

Eric held onto my legs and pushed slowly against me. I could feel my asshole opening up and relaxing, accepting the intruder. I started to breathe heavy, taking short breaths and yelling a little whenever I felt pain.

I remembered the doctor's instruction during my rectal exam, "Bear down a little, like you are going to the bathroom." I tried it. It seemed to help because Eric's eyes were as big as dinner plates watching his cock slide inside of me. The pain was unreal, but he was doing it. He was fucking me. 

Then he drove me absolutely wild. He reached down and put his hand around my cock. He started stroking it slowly as he continued to press into my rectum. 

"Aaahhh. Oh, fuck. That is incredible. Ohmygod that hurts," I rambled, almost incoherently. "Brian, I'm all the way in. I'm all the way in your ass. I can't believe it. How does it feel?" he asked breathlessly.

"So fuckin good. Please. Fuck me. Jack my cock. Cum in my ass," I answered. 

He obliged, and it didn't take him long. The fullness in my ass was so much more arousing than I ever suspected it could be. I was so in love with him as he rocked in and out of me. His orgasm hit hard, and he jammed his cock into me one more time.

"Uunnnngg. Ohmygod, Tex. Ohmygod. I love you, Tex. I love you," he yelled as he spilled his seed into my rectum. I could feel his cock twitching as he came.

"Tex, I'm about to fall asleep here, but I want you to finish what you started downstairs. I never in my craziest fantasies imagined that you would be the one topping me, but I need you to finish it. I need you to fuck me again," he said hoarsely.

"I have always hated it when you called me Tex," I reminded him.

"I'm sorry. It started as an insult when we were kids, but over the years, it's how I thought of you. Tex- my big, strong cowboy. I didn't think the day would come when I could even explain that to you. Can I call you that once in a while?" he asked.




Snowball's Chance



He was so sincere, so sweet. I couldn't resist.

"Next time I'll wear my cowboy hat for you," I nodded.

He handed me the lube and we switched places. I put my hands on his thighs and spread his legs. It was an amazing sight, and I knew I'd be shooting my load in his ass in a matter of minutes. I lubed my cock and got ready to fuck him.

The pleasure of the power I held over him the first time was replaced by the joy of loving him. I entered him easily and started fucking in and out right away. 

"I'm picturing you with that cowboy hat, Tex," he said in between moans. 

That pushed me over the edge, and I came hard, deep in his bowels. We were both yelling a little bit then we relaxed as my orgasm subsided. We helped each other into each other's arms, kissed a long, sweet kiss goodnight, and went to sleep.

~

It probably would have been easier if we had awoken to the sound of the plow truck outside, but we didn't. We were still asleep in each other's arms when Heidi entered the room. 

"What the fuck is this?" she shouted in disbelief.

We bolted up in the bed, forgetting that we were naked. We both scrambled for words.

Heidi stormed downstairs. Eric and I got dressed, then followed her. She had brought a Box 'o Joe from Dunkin Donuts. She looked ready to spit tacks, but she simply said, "Here's your coffee. Somebody better explain this to me."

Eric volunteered to start, filling Heidi in with the same story I heard last night. At first she seemed shocked, but she quickly realized that it wasn't as shocking as she thought. The three of us had been intertwined for so long, it wasn't so outrageous that we would end up in bed together.

"But Brian, why Eric? Why not me?" she said, sounding hurt.

Then it was my turn. I told her all about the years I had spent missing her, wanting her, loving her. We took turns telling her about Valentine's night. She was quiet until we finished.

She took each of us by the hand, and said, "I don't know if I understand where I fit into this."

Eric said gently, "We'll figure it out, honey. We've always been a threesome, even when Brian wasn't here. We'll just take it slow."

I nodded, then got up and went to her. I took her in my arms and kissed her like I've always wanted to, like I did in her car just days ago. She melted into me and my cock stiffened against her.

"Oh, that doesn't feel like a gay penis," she said. 

"Heidi, I need time. Time with you and time with Eric. Maybe even time with both of you," I said. Both Eric and Heidi looked up with a twinkle in their eye. "That sounds like a good idea," Heidi admitted.

Eric said, "Honey, we need to shower first though. You don't want to know where our dicks have been."

"Yes, I do. But you're right. Clean is good," she agreed.

~

When I finally saw Heidi naked, it was the most glorious moment of my life. She was just as I pictured her. Beautiful tits with light pink nipples. A soft tuft of hair covering her mound. I was gawking, but I couldn't help it.

"Brian, eat my pussy. Please," she commanded. Eric sat on the bed, and Heidi laid back between his legs, his hard cock pressing into her back. She didn't seem to mind. I approached her and she spread her legs wide for me. 

I hadn't tasted a pussy in a long, long time, and my mouth was watering just thinking about it. I stuck my tongue out and dipped my head between her legs. When I touched her sex with my tongue, it was like I had shocked her. She jumped and grabbed my head. A loud moan escaped from as I touched her again.

I explored every fold of flesh, every crevice in her sweet pussy. I was slowly driving her wild, and she needed more. "Brian, lick my clit. Now. Rub my clit with your tongue. I need your tongue on my clit," she demanded.

I complied. I swirled circles around her clit until she started bucking her hips. Eric was rubbing her tits and pinching her nipples. He dipped his head to kiss her neck. Since he hadn't taken the time to shave, his stubble tickled her neck and she laughed right out loud. It was probably the nicest laugh I'd heard in my life.

When I knew she was ready, I stuck two fingers into her vagina and searched for her sensitive g-spot. She couldn't resist the licking and the rubbing for long, and she pulled my hair as she came.

"Ohmygod. Oh, fuck. OhmygodBrian. Lick my pussy. Oh, shit, that's good," she hollered.

As her orgasm subsided, she started to relax a bit. I got up, turned her onto all fours, and slid my cock into her pussy before she could recover. As soon as I worked into a rhythm, Heidi started to cum again. "Fuck me, Brian. Fuck me hard." 

She looked into Eric's eyes as I fucked her. He said, "I love you, Baby. I just love Tex too."

Her only response was to lower her head into his lap and began sucking his cock. For me it was like watching porn and having sex, only the porn was right in front of me, and it was Heidi and Eric. I wanted to hold out, to keep from cumming, but I couldn't wait. I took my cock from Heidi's pussy, and came all over her back and bottom. I cried out incoherently as I did.

That pushed Eric over the edge, and he announced that he was cumming just seconds later. She took his load into her mouth, then turned to kiss me. I took his cum into my mouth, and we both swallowed what was left. "Ok, guys. Break time for me," Heidi announced. She sat back against the headboard, waiting expectantly.

"I guess she wants to see her men fuck each other," I said to Eric. I didn't wait for a response. I just kissed him and stroked his cock. We had both just cum, so I knew we were in for a long day in bed. Eric eased me back and put my cock in his mouth.

"Mmm... I can taste Heidi's pussy on you," he teased.

This was going to be interesting. ~ Later on, we got out of bed, went downstairs, and sat by the fire. 

"This place looks beautiful. I wish I had been here to enjoy it with you," Heidi lamented.

"Hey, Eric. Were you going to ask me to marry you last night?" she asked.

"Yeah. I was. I thought it would keep me from asking Tex to marry me, I guess," he said. 

I said simply, "I love you both. I think I always have. I don't know how we'll make this work, but I'd like to try."

Eric said in his usual fashion, "This arrangement doesn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of working out."

"Yes, but we don't have to figure it out today," Heidi added. "Happy Valentine's Day, my loves."