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Shattered Dreams

By: Mygypsy



A comment on Stolen ch 13 touched me deeply. I am a parent and I know that if one of my children disappeared I would NEVER accept they ran away unless they told me to my face. So I sat at my computer and tried to think HOW Sky's family would react. No ideas came to me so I went surfing the net and looked at songs. Music often inspires me. I found the words to a song I heard a few years ago and thought how well the words and song fit Janetta/Sky. After finding the song this story just flowed from my fingers to the keyboard.

The song was "HOLY WATER" sung by Big & Rich.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Marina walked into the lounge room from the kitchen and placed her handbag on the hallway table as she glanced at the flickering light that showed they had a message on their answering machine.

"Jim, we have a message. It's probably the plumber calling about when he can come and put the new pipe work in the laundry." Marina called to her husband.

Jim came in through the front door carrying a heavy esky.

"Just check it would you Love?" Jim asked as he headed into the kitchen.

Marina looked down at the answering machine and pressed the button to play the recorded message.

"You have... two ... new messages." The mechanical sounding voice of the machine said as Marina turned away and placed her scarf and gloves on top of her handbag.

"Bob from Robert's Plumbing here. I have Saturday morning free and can do your work then. Give me a call if there's a problem with that." The recording crackled slightly, then the familiar beeps sounded that heralded the next message. 

There was a slight pause as if the person who had rung was put off by the sound of the recording then the sound of someone clearing his or her throat.

"Hey Mum. It's me, Janey. I'll be home tomorrow night on the 10pm bus. We'll talk then. I love and miss you," The receiver being replaced clicked loudly in Marina's shocked ears.

"Jim! It was our Janey! She's coming home!" Marina said then burst into tears. It had been thirty-five days since their youngest daughter Janetta had disappeared without a word.

Jim rushed in from the kitchen and pulled his wife into his arms, he held her for several minutes until she regained control of herself. Jim reached out and rewound the last message then pushed play once again. Relief filled him as he heard his daughter's voice, she sounded a bit hesitant as if maybe she doubted her welcome but that could soon be fixed when they met the bus the following night.

"I can't wait to see her!" Marina exclaimed, "I wonder what happened for her to disappear like that?"

"We only got to wait until tomorrow night." Jim soothed his wife.

"The others! They'll want to know Janey is coming home! I've got to ring them!" Marina exclaimed as she reached for the phone.

Marina pressed the button on the phone base that automatically dialled her oldest daughters mobile phone, she waited anxiously for her to answer.

"Hallo Caro speaking."

"Carolyn! We just got home from shopping and there was a message on the phone from Janey! She's coming home tomorrow night!" Marina said as her tears stared afresh.

"Oh Mum! That's wonderful news! Have you told Robby and James yet?" Caro asked.

"No, not yet. I thought I'd tell you first. I know how you worried and fretted." Marina said. Her older daughter had confided in her mother how she had felt she was to blame for her sisters' disappearance because she had been the last one to see Janey before she mysteriously vanished.

"I'll be home in half an hour Mum. So see you then." Caro said to quickly finish the phone call. She knew her two older brothers would be eager to hear their mothers' news.

Marina pressed the call end button and handed the phone to Jim, her hands were shaking badly as she sat down on the chair by the hall table.

"You call Rob and James. I'm too surprised." Marina said as she clasped her hands in front of her to try to still their shaking.

"You sit there and take it easy for a minute. I'll put the kettle on so we can have a nice cuppa once we finish talking to the boys." Jim told his wife gently.

Marina watched as her husband pressed a button on the base of the phone then headed into the kitchen. She listened to him moving around as he filled the kettle with water.

"Hey James, good news son! We've heard from Janey! She's on her way home. Says she'll be in town tomorrow night." Marina heard Jim saying.

She listened, as there was silence for a few long moments.

"We don't think Janey run away either, we never have." Jim said softly. "Yeah, yeah. You take care driving home. Don't rush just to be here when Janey gets home."

Jim was dialling in a number as he returned to the lounge room and extended a hand to Marina to help her to her feet and followed her to the lounge. His call was answered quickly and he sat on one end of the lounge beside Marina.

"Hallo this is Jim Wilkinson speaking. May I speak to Senior Detective Wilkinson please? Yes, I'm his father." Jim was silent while he waited to be connected to his second son. 

Marina squeezed his hand nervously.

"Ah Robby! We were out and got home to a message on the phone from Janey... yeah apparently she will be home on the 10pm bus tomorrow...Yeah, it would have to be the bus from down south. Do you think she could have been around Coffs Harbour all this time?" Jim asked his son.

He listened intently as his son talked; finally he gave a curt nod. "Yes we are going into town to meet the bus. And you'll be here tomorrow evening? Fine. See you then." Jim hung up and glanced at Marina.

"How about I make us that cuppa tea?" Marina asked climbing to her feet.

Jim followed Marina into the kitchen and stood by as she poured boiled water into the teapot over tealeaves. He watched as she took two cups out of the cupboard and placed them by the teapot as they waited for the tea to brew.

"I still get the feeling there is something horribly wrong around Janey." Marina said faintly.

"Our baby will be home tomorrow night and then you can fuss over her all you like." Jim said as he put his arms around Marina.

Five weeks ago they had returned to their campervan in the middle of an evening out because Marina had been unable to shake the feeling something was wrong with Janey. They had arrived at the campervan to find Caro in a state of panic because her sister had failed to return from the campground showers nearly an hour previously. The resulting search had failed to find any trace of her or any signs that something had befallen her.

The police had been called and refused to take her disappearance seriously as she had had a minor argument with her parents only that morning over meeting a boy at the beach. Twenty-four hours had passed before the police allowed them to file a missing persons report. Despite the family's belief that Janey would never runaway the police had put her down as a runaway.

It had not been until eight days later that someone had recalled there had been two men hanging around watching the beach that day. No one remembered what they had looked like other then the fact they had kept to themselves.

Marina tried to push aside the fear she felt as she turned to her husband. She had always been especially close to her youngest daughter, right from the time she had been handed the small red faced squalling infant after giving birth.

"Oh god I hope she'll be home. Maybe then I can sleep without waking up thinking I can hear her crying." Marina said faintly.

"Janey sounded just fine." Jim said firmly and released Marina so he could pour them both a cup of tea.

As Jim handed his wife her drink he didn't comment on what she had said, he had long ago learnt not to question the closeness she share with their children. Especially with their youngest Janetta.

* * * * *

Carolyn Wilkinson helped her mother clean up the last of the plates from the table where the family had had tea. Her mother was busy washing up while her father and two brothers were in the lounge room talking quietly. Carolyn, or Caro as she preferred to be called; was waiting for the time they would leave to drive into town just as anxiously as the rest of her family.

She still blamed herself for her sisters' disappearance five weeks earlier. If only she had stayed with her and waited to walk back to the campervan together. But happily there had been a phone message the day before and her younger sister Janey was coming home.

When Janey had first disappeared all of the family had been beside themselves with worry. And that had only increased with passing time as they knew that no matter what the reason was behind her disappearance that Janetta would not fail to phone if only to say she was okay.

Putting the last of the washing up away Caro and Marina headed for the lounge room.

"I want to leave early so we can get a park where Janey will be able to see us as she steps off the bus." Marina announced.

"James, Caro and I can go in my car. That way Janey wont feel crowded on the way home, if she did indeed runaway like the rest of the police believe then she is probably feeling pretty foolish." Robby said.

Robby was a police detective and was still angered that he had been unable to convince his colleagues in missing persons that his youngest sister would never runaway over a silly little argument with her parents. He had been told repeatedly that most families of runaways found it very difficult to accept the fact that the person had voluntarily chosen to leave.

"That sounds like a good idea." Jim said and glanced at his son with a grateful smile. 

"It's not time to go yet," Marina fretted. "We got another half hour."

"Why don't we leave now? You can go to the plaza and if it's still open get a chocolate mud cake to have when we get home." James said.

James was the one who looked the most like his youngest sister. His hair was several shades darker then hers, but much lighter then the auburn hair Robby and Caro had inherited from their father. He and Janetta had blonde hair like their mother. 

James was as tall as his father reaching six foot two while Robby only made five eleven. Both girls had inherited the build of their mother, medium in height. Janey was naturally slender but Caro was thinner with a natural tendency to be the curvier.

Robby had the broad shoulders of their father but James leant more to the finer build of his mother. Anyone seeing the family together would clearly see the strong family resemblance and often people asked any of the four children if they knew them after previously having met one of their siblings.

"That sounds like a grand idea!" Jim said as he slipped an arm around his wife's waist.

The family made their way outside to the cars, Jim leaving a light on in the entryway and on the front veranda. With the group in two separate cars they headed for the local town of Byron Bay, one of the coasts most popular tourist destinations.

In town Jim and Marina went to a small café that stayed open late to cater to the hordes of tourists and partygoers each night. Marina purchased a chocolate mud cake that was Janey's favourite and then Jim drove the car towards the bus depot.

The group waited impatiently for the bus to arrive and mercifully it was on time.

Marina took several steps forward and watched eagerly as people began to get off the bus, the flow of humanity stoped and Robby walked past her when Janetta failed to appear.

Robby walked to the bus rapidly and took the steps two at a time as he got on to talk to the driver.

"Is that everyone who is to get off here?" Robby demanded.

The driver picked up his clipboard of passengers and scanned it briefly.

"Yeah, that's everyone who was on the bus." The driver confirmed.

"Everyone? Were there any passengers missing?" Robby demanded.

"Look buddy, you can't go around jumping on buses and getting all aggressive." The driver said bristling at Robby's tone.

Robby pulled his police identification from his pocket and flipped it open.

"Senior Detective Robert Wilkinson. There was a girl believed to be arriving on this bus, she has been missing for the last five weeks." Robby said.

"Let me double check my passenger list." The driver said and began to study the passenger list more closely.

"That was everyone who got on board. But there was a female passenger who was expected to get on a connecting bus from Melbourne then transfer to this bus who was a no show on the earlier bus." The driver said after a minute or two.

"The name on the ticket?" Robby asked tightly.

"Umm, let me see... Janetta Wilkinson. Is she a relation of yours?" The driver asked curiously at Robby's sharp intake of breath.

"Yes! She's my kid sister." Robby said and turned to get off the bus.

"I hope she turns up soon." The bus driver said.

Robby headed back towards where his parents, brother and sister waited. He was unable to meet his mothers' hopeful eyes as she stepped forward and grasped his arm.

"She wasn't on the bus. There was a ticket bought in her name that started down in Victoria but she didn't make the bus out of Melbourne." Robby said hollowly.

A small wounded sound came from Marina then she was crying silently as her husband put his arms around her.

"I'm going to see if I can trace her back to where she got the ticket." Robby announced in a harsh voice.

* * * * *

Robby sat at his desk in his office as he typed on his computer, he held the receiver of his phone pressed against his right shoulder with his head.

He had been at work for the last twenty-two hours trying to trace the movements of his youngest sister down in Victoria. He had finally managed to talk to Toni, the travel shop assistant who had sold his sister her tickets. All Toni could remember was that Janey had seemed intent on getting home as quickly as possible. That and the fact she had a fading bruise on one side of her face.

Finally the phone beneath his ear stopped playing a local radio station and there was the sound of a voice on the other end.

"Hallo Senior Sargent Peter Davies here." A deep voice said.

"Yes, Senior Detective Robert Wilkinson here. I was told you may be able to help me. I am trying to track down my younger sister who went missing five weeks ago. Description- Caucasian, eighteen years old. Five six or five seven, roughly sixty kilos. Light blonde hair. Clear blue eyes. I was told you might have a lead on her." Robby said.

"Give me a moment to check..." Sargent Davies said.

Robby could hear the sound of rustling paperwork for several minutes then a positive sound.

"Got the paperwork I think you mean in front of me now. Not good news I'm afraid. A young mother reported an assault that she witnessed soon after leaving a fish and chip shop. A female fitting your sisters' description was seen as she was grabbed from behind and dragged into an alley. The witness was able to get a clear view of one of the three men involved and identified him from a mug shot at the police station where she reported the assault. He is a known pimp with a reputation for seducing young teenagers, getting them hooked on drugs and then turning them onto the streets to earn him money. The vague description of the other two men at the scene loosely fits two known companions of this offender." Sargent Davies said.

Robby could hear the regret in the other mans voice.

"And this happened in Melbourne? Any where near one of the main bus stops?" Robby asked with a sinking feeling.

"Only about three blocks from the main coach terminal in mid Melbourne." Sargent Davies replied.

"Damn it!" Robby swore as the seriousness of the situation hit him.

"If you like I can fax you a copy of the report and you can take it to missing persons. Maybe that will get a quick reaction on this." Sargent Davies offered.

"I'd appreciate it." Robby said and repeated the number for the line and fax machine at his office.

Sargent Davies promised to do it immediately and then hung up.

Robby put the receiver back in its cradle and stared at the computer screen blankly for a few minutes as he tried to figure out what to tell his parents. The sound of a fax arriving drew his attention and he got to his feet to go and retrieve the message. 

He studied the report he held in his hands and then glanced at the watch on his wrist, the figures read three am. Giving a defeated sign he tucked the report into the folder that reported Janey's disappearance and tucked it under his arm as he headed for the door and for his parents home.

* * * * *

James parked his father's car outside the bakery and went inside to purchase fresh warm bread and cinnamon buns for breakfast. His parents had taken his sisters failure to return home on the bus the night before last very hard. Then Robby had turned up at five am this morning with the results of his search on the ticket. The news of the report he had carried with him had upset his mother so much that their father had called the family doctor and whom when he had arrived had wanted to give her a mild sedative but she had refused to take it.

Paying for his purchases James walked from the shop and got into the car. Traffic was already constant at seven thirty in the morning and he pulled out from the parking spot with the flow of the traffic. He turned along the street where fresh local fruit would be on sale this early in the morning. He slowed and swerved close to the curb to avoid the vehicle that drove out wide to go around the bus that was pulled to the curb, cursing both the other driver and the bus as he went. It was from the same company that had failed to deliver his sister home safely the other night.

James wasn't sure what made him glanced sideways as he passed the front of the bus, maybe it was a glimpse of a lonely figure out of the corner of his eye. Or it could have been sheer co-incidence.

A slight figure stood well away from everyone else but close to the activity around the bus door, long blonde hair hung over a shoulder and a green bag was clutched against ribs.

James was forced to glance back at the road before he could turn his head to look over his shoulder; he looked into the rear-view mirror and hit the brakes abruptly. The driver behind him hit the horn and James pulled his vehicle to the side of the road as he watched for a break in traffic so he could turn the vehicle around. Tires squealed as James revved the motor and spun the car in an illegal U-turn in the main street. Several people turned to look and James felt his heart stop then begin to pound as the slight figure turned also.

James pulled into a parking space several cars up from the bus and climbed out hurriedly, his eyes glued to the motionless figure by the front of the bus.

"Janey!" The word burst from James as he approached his sister slowly. He took in the fading bruise on her cheek, the fresh vivid bruise across one temple. Janey dropped her gaze and looked away as something flickered across her face.

It was then James saw the faint love bite on the side of her neck and noticed that she had lost a good bit of weight.

"We all turned up to meet you the other night." James said softly as he walked closer.

Janey glanced his way almost nervously before looking away, she raised one hand to fuss with her fringe and James noticed the bruises around her wrist.

"I tried to get home." Her voice was thin, weak and apologetic.

"You're here now. That's all that matters." James told her softly as he stopped within hugging distance. He desperately wanted to hug his sister but something about the way she held herself warned him not to touch her.

"How about we get in the car and we go home in time for breakfast?" James asked softly.

Janey nodded faintly, she was becoming aware of the curious stares and glances of passers-by. She started walking towards the car James had been in recognising her parents' car.


Shattered Dreams



She settled into the passenger seat and forced herself not to react as James shut her door for her. Janey watched as he walked around the front of the car and got in the drivers side.

James reached for his mobile phone in his shirt pocket but then remembered that it was at his parents' house on the charger. He glanced across at his sister to see her sitting stiffly with her hands clasped in her lap looking down at them.

"You sure you don't want to go to the hospital to get them bruises looked at first?" James asked.

"I just want to go home." Janey said sounding like a scared child.

"Home it is then." James agreed and started the car. His heart was still racing and he found it hard not to speed as he turned the car towards his parent's house. As he got nearer to the turn off to the house he glanced towards Janey and noticed her looking out the window with tear filled eyes and a heart wrenchingly lost look on her face.

He guided the car onto the laneway that lead past the entry way to the house and turned into the driveway. A faint sound came from Janey and he glanced across at her but she was sitting forward with her eyes glued to the house.

James parked the car just outside the front garden gate and honked the horn several times before turning the motor off. Janey was already scrambling from the car and hurrying around the front of the car as the screen door opened and their parents stepped onto the front veranda. Jim stepped forward at the sight of his youngest daughter and Janey stopped as she eyed him uncertainly then looked past him at her mother.

Never in all the time they had raised Janey could Jim remember his child being afraid of him but he saw the fear in her eyes for the slightest moment before she looked at her mother.

"Janey! My Janey!" Marina cried then rushed forward.

Janey almost flew to her mother her steps were that light, she hesitated a moment as her mother cupped her face in gentle hands and saw more than just the bruises and shadows in her eyes. 

Marina pulled her daughter close and Janey buried her face in the crook of her mother's neck, Marina began patting her daughter on the back as one would an upset baby.

"It doesn't matter what happened Janey, what you had to do. You're our daughter and we love you. We will never stop loving you no matter what." Marina said in a strong voice.

Janey started crying softly and after several minutes she sniffed loudly.

"Oh Mama, I wanted to come home. I really did!" Janey said softly. "I didn't run away. Really!" Janey said and pulled back to look at her mother desperate to be believed.

"None of us believed you ran away. Not for a second!" Marina said indignantly as she smoothed the damp hair back off her daughters face.

"Let's go inside." Jim said huskily from where he stood watching his wife and youngest daughter.

Marina wrapped her arm around Janey's waist and led her daughter into the kitchen. 

The rest of the family followed and settled around the table as Janey sat down.

"Janey, you need to go to the police and make a statement about what happened." Robby said tightly. 

Already he recognised several common signs of sexual abuse in his sister. The way she avoided direct eye contact with males, how she wouldn't look anyone in the face unless physically forced to. Even as he spoke she was rocking backwards and forwards in the chair she sat on ever so slightly.

"I just want to stay here! I don't want to talk about nothing! I don't want to do it!" Janey denied.

Robby spotted the bruising around her wrists as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms as if to warm herself. He reached out and grabbed both her arms even though she recoiled from his touch and he looked at the marks. Clear signs she had been tied up recently.

"You can't let him get away with it!" Robby exploded.

Janey rocketed out of the chair and backed away from the table warily. 

Her family was shocked to see the way she behaved. Janey had always been the wild and carefree child never backing down from a challenge, fearless and courageous.

"I don't wanta talk about it! I don't wanta talk about it!" Janey said panicked then fled for her room upstairs.

Marina watched her daughter go completely shocked.

"Janey needs medical attention and then she needs to talk to the police. After that she will probably need a lot of counselling so she can cope with what has happened." Robby said forcefully as he looked at his parents.

"Oh God." Jim said as the enormity of what had occurred finally hit him. 

"Janey shall get everything she needs." Marina said firmly.

Imaging the worst had been hard on her but now she was fairly certain she knew what had befallen her child she knew she could cope and help Janey cope.

"I shouldn't have left her to walk to the campervan alone!" Caro said nearly in tears.

"It happened, it's in the past." Marina said with a compassionate glance at her oldest daughter.

"All we can do is be here for Janey when she reaches out for us." James said.

Marina looked at her oldest son, James had always made time for his baby sister event though nearly fifteen years separated them in age. As a youngster Janey had always toddled around after James, interested in the same sports and activities even then.

"And let her know that we don't think any less of her as a person due to what happened." Marina said calmly. 

Janey sat cross-legged on the trolley in an examination room at the hospital. Her mother had followed her to her room and when she had calmed down Marina had gently talked her into going to the hospital and getting checked out for her own good.

In an otherwise empty waiting room James and Marina were talking with the female doctor who had examined Janey and a therapist who had sat with Janey during the examination.

"How about we take a seat?" Doctor Kate Michaels asked.

Marina and Jim settled themselves side by side on a couch and watched as the doctor and therapist sat down in individual chairs.

"As I am sure you know your daughter has under went a very harrowing ordeal and she has given me permission to inform you of the results of my examination. There is evidence that she has been raped repeatedly and bruising to indicate she has also been beaten. I have done an STD test and blood work to check her health. And I would have done a rape kit but she had had enough of being examined and wished to be left alone. I removed a contraceptive implant at her request. She has a fractured cheekbone and is suffering from malnutrition; she is seriously under weight." Dr Michaels said.

"Janey will be alright won't she?" Jim asked.

"As long as the STD screen and blood work comes back clear she should be physically fine but emotionally and mentally only time will tell how well she copes with her ordeal."

"The tests that you've done will they help to identify the man who done this to Janey?" Jim asked.

"Your daughter indicated that she was raped by several different men over the period of time she was away. She has no wish to talk to police or have a rape kit done, she just wants to forget what happened." Tracey Briggs the therapist told them.

"Maybe I can explain how important it is to have these people charged." Marina said.

"Janey is in a very fragile mental state at the moment. I wouldn't advise any pressure on her. I believe she will need a lot of therapy to be able to deal with what has happened to her." Tracey said.

"Well can we take her home? Just take her home and love her?" Marina asked.

"That would be the best medicine." Tracey nodded with a smile.

Jim and Marina got to their feet and followed Tracey to the examination room where Janey sat cross-legged on the trolley, her arms wrapped around her ribs as she rocked back and forth slightly.

Janey glanced at them as they walked in then looked away quickly. Marina walked straight to the side of the trolley and took Janey's hand.

"We love you no matter what." Marina said firmly.

Janey pulled her hand away from her mother and tucked it under her arm as she hunched her shoulders.

"Okay, lets go home. I don't know about anyone else but I am famished!" Marina said as she refused to let herself feel hurt over her daughter's rejection of her offer of comfort.

Janey slipped her feet over the edge of the bed and stood up, she picked up the jacket she had placed on a chair and glanced at her parents without a word.

"You have my phone number if you wish to talk to me Janey." Tracey said.

Janey glanced at Tracey but made no response.

Jim opened the door and Janey was quick to leave the room and head for the front entrance of the hospital. Outside she stopped and waited for her parents to catch up with her before heading towards the family car. She stood beside the car as she watched the traffic on the road beside the hospital; suddenly exhausted she yawned and turned to look where her parents were.

"Can we get something to eat on the way home? I'm really really tired." Janey said and yawned once again.

"How does fish and chips sound?" Jim asked.

"Can I have battered fish please? I like battered fish best." Janey said hopefully.

"I remember." Jim said with a smile as he saw the animation on his daughter's face. "And do you want lemon to go on your fish?"

"Have you ever tried vinegar on fish and chips?" Janey asked remembering the fish and chips Hawk had given her one time.

"We can try that." Marina said watching her daughter.

Janey sighed as she slipped into the back seat of the vehicle and put her seat belt on. 

Jim climbed behind the wheel and when he and Marina where in their seats wearing their seat belts he started the car and headed for the fish and chip shop the family preferred.

* * * * *

James looked at Janey where she lay asleep on the lounge; she was stretched out on her stomach with one arm and leg hanging off the side of the lounge. Thinking she must be uncomfortable sleeping like that he walked over to her quietly, reached down and went to put her arm back on the lounge.

Janey woke the instant James took hold of her arm. Not realising where she was or who had touched her she gave a soft startled cry and jerked her arm away from the light grasp as she rolled away from the presence she sensed.

"It's alright Janey. It's me, James." He told her as she looked at him dazed.

Janey looked at him for a few moments then sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. You looked uncomfortable and I was only trying to make you more comfortable." James told her.

"Where is everyone?" Janey asked.

"Dad is cleaning the barbie, Mum is watering her herb garden, Caro is at work and Robbie is in town." James said.

"Oh, are we having a b-b-q?" Janey asked.

"For tea. Janey, how did you get the marks on your wrists?" James asked. He knew she was more likely to tell him then one of the others.

Janey looked at her wrists as if she hadn't been aware of the bruises around them.

"I stole a car and run away, when they caught me they tied me up that time." Janey said faintly as she turned away rubbing her hands up and down her arms as if to warm herself.

"You tried to run away more then once?" James asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"How did you get away to get home?" He asked after several moments' silence.

Janey was silent for several minutes and James thought she wasn't going to answer his question but finally she spoke.

"There was this one guy. He started stopping the guy who used to hit me all the time from hitting me, and when I run away he ended up buying my ticket home for me." Janey said as she thought of Ren.

"He helped you run away from this other guy?" James asked.

"I was running away from him." 

"I thought you said he stopped someone else hurting you." James probed gently.

Janey glanced at him not sure how much she wanted to tell him, but she felt the need to talk about what had happened to her. Finally she turned away as she looked around the familiar room.

"I'm still tired." Janey said with a glance at the lounge.

"Why don't you go up to your room and have a sleep there? No-one will disturb you there." James said.

"I want to stay where everyone is!" Janey said with a worried tone as she turned to face her brother. "Please don't make me go to my room!"

"Well curl up on the lounge or in one of the recliner chairs and I will make sure no-one disturbs you." James told her.

"You're not going to make me go to my room?" Janey asked uncertainly.

"Of course not. Now lay down and try to get back to sleep." James said with a wave at the lounge.

Janey laid down on the lounge and James got a knee rug from one of the recliner chairs and threw over her before leaving the room. Janey sighed softly and closed her eyes; she yawned then snuggled down into the cushion beneath her cheek and was asleep within minutes.

An hour later Marina looked in at her daughter unsure whether to wake her or leave her sleep. Deciding she probably needed the sleep just as much as food Marina left the room silently, she would put food aside for Janey to eat when she woke up.

Outside the house James, Jim and Marina sat down and enjoyed their lunch. As he ate James told his parents what his sister had told him, they discussed her remarks briefly before changing the subject to the coming weekend.

Janey woke up nearly an hour later and got to her feet slowly, she stretched and then headed for the kitchen where she could hear someone working.

"You woke up!" Marina said with a smile when Janey walked into the room.

Janey knodded and looked around the kitchen.

"Is there something I can eat?" She asked softly.

"There's some sausages and steak left from lunch and there's salad in the fridge." Marina said as she rinsed her hands at the kitchen sink.

"Do we have bread?" Janey asked faintly.

"Yes, bread or rolls. Whichever you prefer." Marina answered as she greased a cake tin.

"Are you making brownies?" Janey asked with interest.

"I'm making an orange cake but I can make brownies as well if you like." Marina offered.

"I can make the brownies. I make real good brownies." Janey said proudly as she put several sausages on a plate in the microwave to reheat.

"I though you didn't like cooking." Marina remarked.



Shattered Dreams



This story takes place after the second movie, Aliens. And for the record, I objected strongly to the premise of the third movie; Ripley was too smart to not to take precautions. Morpheus is the Roman god of dreams. I know the category is Erotic Horror, but there's no sex herein, just a short and simple tale. Enjoy! 

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The nightmares never seemed to stop. If anything, the events on LV426 had been worse than her fight aboard the star freighter. Standing in the bridge of the colonial marine transport, Ripley shuddered, the reality of the past few days sinking in. 

The constant tension in her life worried her lean, and the trauma of her recent past never seemed to be further away than an eye-blink or a dream. With the ferocity and the unforgiving nature of her encounters with the aliens, Ripley could easily have hardened her outlook, and allowed herself to become bitter and harsh and unforgiving. She sighed, deliberately and slowly. 

But then Rebecca Jordan had come into her life, cast away from her parents by their deaths, and thrust suddenly into Ripley's care. Then Ripley smiled to herself. She promised herself that she would ask Newt how she had acquired such a nickname. The girl had had enough trauma for several lifetimes and her's was only beginning. The blessings and adaptability of childhood had thus far served her well, but as Newt grew up, Ripley knew she'd have to help the child deal with the realizations that would come with adulthood.

Newt.

Ripley had come very close to being that hard-edged and tough woman, totally armored and safe from the world. But Newt had saved her. Just as she had gone into the void to rescue the child--no, her child now, she thought--Newt had given Ripley an emotional bond to fill the void of loneliness. Ripley's own daughter had grown up long ago. While Riply had slept and drifted in the stark reaches of space for fifty-seven years, Eileen had severed the bonds and simply moved on without her. And as Eileen had grown up without a mother, Ripley had lost a daughter to the cruelty of time and cryo-sleep. What could you say to a daughter who was physically thirty years older than you were? The awkward silences had spoken loudly enough to Ripley. And so Ripley clung to Newt protectively, as much for herself as for that little girl, as one dying of starvation would cling to a newly discovered cache of food. As Ripley eagerly filled Newt's needs, Ripley felt some measure of wholeness again, and thereby felt strong enough to handle the nightmarish burdens that haunted her sleep.

Adjusting her chair, Ripley punched in the last navigational codes to the computer. After putting Newt and Hicks into the cryo-sleep pods and seeing to the android Bishop, she had made a last, final round of the ship, checking over every nook and cranny carefully for the return voyage. She wanted nothing to interfere with their timely return home.

Ripley rose and left the bridge, moving down the corridor, back towards the cryo-sleep chamber. The ship was spartan, but what did you expect from Colonial Marines? And her own ship, the Nostromo, had been a freighter -- not exactly luxury in space.

Moving into the elevator, the pulse rifle slid down her shoulder. Ripley automatically readjusted it, mulling over her recent fight within the loading dock. The alien had clung to the outside of the attack shuttle, all the way to synchronous orbit! That was troubling. Did it mean these aliens could actually survive in the hard vacuum of space? After entering the ship, the creature had attacked Bishop, piercing him through and separating his lower trunk from his body. Then it had knocked her aside and vengefully chased after Newt. Ripley had destroyed the alien's egg chamber. She had not doubted the alien's cunning nature, but revenge bespoke real intelligence. It would bear remembering.

The new Bishop, too, had proved to be reliable after all. Even legless, with his synthetic chemicals oozing out onto the loading dock, Bishop had still had the sense of mind to save Newt from being sucked out the open hatch, desperately holding the child with one hand, and anchoring them both with the other. Hell, her own survival had been a close call! Even at the last, the alien had grabbed Ripley's boot, trying hard to return to the ship, or at least take Ripley along into the void of space. Yes, this android had been much better than the last.

Walking down the corridor to the cryo-sleep chamber, Ripley listened to the dull, hollow sound of her own footsteps. After putting Newt and the others to sleep, Ripley had made three complete ship-wide searches while fully armed. Now, after having checked the ship's stations a fourth time, she was ready to put herself into cryo-sleep. Some might think her paranoid, but these aliens were extremely resilient and incredibly dangerous. Seven months was a long time to stand vigil alone. Besides, she had rigged some motion sensors to monitor the cryo-sleep chamber as well as in the surrounding corridors, and tied them into the onboard computer. Any non-human form moving within the sensor grid would cause the cryo-sleep chamber doors to seal and revive her immediately. 

Ripley smiled grimly. If an alien happened to remain on board, she would be ready. The pulse rifle, half a dozen clips of those ten-millimeter explosive-tipped caseless, a box of grenades, and fuel packs for the flame thrower would stand vigil, right beside her cryo-sleep pod.

As she entered the cryo-sleep chamber, Ripley glanced around, checking the sleeping forms of Hicks, Newt, and Bishop. Next, she carefully checked the sensor read-outs for the pods, and then the movement sensor data as well. 

Everything read as expected. Good! 

Ripley went to the locker she'd selected, stepped out of her coveralls and hung them up.

Returning to her cryo-pod, she carefully set the pulse rifle down before climbing onto the couch, attaching the electrode life-monitors to her chest and forehead. Once done, Ripley sighed—as much from exhaustion as from relief that they four had made it. Out of thirty-two marines, Hicks was the sole survivor of his unit. 

Ripley knew that their very survival would cause ripples among the known worlds. Mankind was used to being the top hunter, the master manipulator of environments and animal life. As a species, human beings were not used to being actively hunted as a source of food and as hosts for alien larva—there were no myths to help deal with the terror of being hunted as if humans were a lesser life form. Society would have to become aware that other, arguably more adaptive beings competed for dominance with humans. 

It was fortunate that Zeta Reticuli was so barren. An entire planet filled with those monsters did not bear thinking of. They would destroy any ecosystem they invaded. No myths yet, but for now, perhaps, the myths of war would suffice. Then Ripley muttered a prayer that the Company would give up its mad dreams of taking these foul creatures alive, and thereby risk infecting a world! Over her dead body, she resolved. She just hoped she would get the message out in case the Company tried to squash the evidence of the catastrophe.

Ripley lay down. The lid of the pod closed and sealed, filling the air with the colorless gases that aided the cryo-temperatures to work so effectively. Unconsciousness welled up from the depths, Morpheus riding the waves as her thoughts slipped into the dark.

* * * * *

Beep. Beep.

Ripley opened her eyes, exhausted. Jonesy the cat slept soundly, his little orange striped body making a warm spot against the small of her back. As she moved, Jonesy raised his head, blinked, and then meowed sleepily.

Beep. Beep.

Ripley rose slowly, grabbing her robe as she moved towards the front door. She didn't know anyone socially. Who could it be?

Beep. Beep.

"Who is it?"

"Let me in, Ripley. It's Burke, and I have a very important person with me here."

Ripley slowly opened the door in shock, memories flooding back.

Burke was dead.

He died on LV426. He had tried to kill them all, had planned to use them all as hosts for the alien parasites. Burke had died in the Command module.

"Hello, Ripley. This is Lieutenant Gorman of the Colonial Marines."

"Miss Ripley." Gorman was as young and cock-sure as she remembered him.

Burke continued. "It seems that there has been no communication with the colony on LV426 for several months now, and the Marines are going in to find out why. We'd like you to go along with them, sort of as a technical advisor. What do you say?"

Ripley walked them into the living room, then proceeded to get some coffee. "My answer is still no," she heard herself say. A small part of her screamed, this can't be happening!

"Ah, Ripley, I don't know. These Colonial Marines are some pretty tough hombres." Burke grinned, trying to be persuasive. He sat down, making himself at home.

"Miss Ripley, the Colonial Marines are experienced professionals. We are well-trained and are well-equipped to handle any situation that may arise. We would like you come along, to give us any advice that you can." Gorman stood polite and distant, the good soldier trying to placate the mad pilot that for some reason the Company wanted them to have along. 

Ripley had seen all this before. He had no idea what lie in wait on that distant world!

"I said no!" The scream inside became louder. It can't have been a dream! "You have my report. You don't need me and you don't believe me. Why should I go? I don't need that terror again. I've had more than enough, thank you!"

"Are you sure you won't reconsider? Did you know that I can get you re-certified as a Flight Officer? And I can guarantee that the Company will pick up your contract?"

"But only if I go, right?" Ripley heard a roaring in her ears.

"That's right." Burke looked so earnest and helpful. She wanted to kill him for the duplicitous bastard he was. Or would be.

"Please, Miss Ripley," Gorman urged. "We could use your help."

"Come on, Ripley, think it over." Burke pulled out his card. 

Ripley knew it would have his phone number on it, even before he said so. Ripley shook her head.

"All right," Burke said. "But if you change your mind, give me a call, all right?" Burke got up and made ready to leave.

Gorman, taking his cue, set the unfinished cup down upon a table and replaced his cap. "We really could use you."

"I said, no. Good bye." Only a dream? The roaring in her ears continued grew louder.

"Good bye, Miss Ripley." Gorman was the first to exit.

Burke turned around at the door, making a last pitch. "Remember what I said, Ripley. If you change your mind in the next few days, give me a call."

Ripley only nodded, numbness washing over her. She closed the door, locking it.

Where was Newt? Where was her little girl? Had it been a dream? A look into the future? Or had she passed the precipice of insanity? Ripley shuddered as she stumbled back into her bedroom. 

The only way to know for sure, her mind screamed, would be for her to go with them, to LV426, and walk into the darkness, literally into the very maw of the beast itself to see what lay therein. The images in her mind could be truths. Or simply ephemeral phantoms, lies told by her mind to deal with the loss of her Nostromo crewmates.

If there was a chance that little girl was there, there was no choice at all.

She lay down on the bed, curling into herself, drawing Jonesy into her arms. Already images were fading, yet the fear percolated. They'd never believe her. If she tried to tell them, they'd call her mad and lock her up, feed her drugs, and everyone would die, overrun by those monsters.

Jonesy purred. To Ripley, the purring was like the sound of many hearts beating, or the match of her own terrorized heart. And then she began to shake.

# # #



Shattered Dreams Ch. 01



Author's note: Thanks to the wonderful DanielleKitten for her encouragement and inspiration, and for her advice about formatting. This chapter has not been edited so any mistakes are purely mine.

John gazed across the table at Sera, wondering if she realised how much he wanted her. Just looking at her almost drove him crazy, and the sexiest thing about her was that she honestly had no idea how beautiful she was. She had dark brown hair with burgundy highlights, which fell in soft waves almost to her waist, and framed her perfect oval face. With her china blue eyes and the cupids bow of her lips, there was something almost fragile and doll like about her. But despite her beauty, years of being bullied at school as a child meant that she was shy and lacked confidence, something John had tried to turn to his own advantage.

He'd known her for about six months now, and he was no further towards getting her into bed than he had been on the first day they met. He'd been out with a group of friends at a bar, and Sera had been there with a couple of other girls. She'd chatted quite pleasantly to him, but had politely refused to give him her number, although she took the business card he'd handed her. Although she didn't call him, a couple of their friends had been dating since that night, and they met up again at a party they had both been invited to. 

Again, she chatted with him, and when she told him she wasn't really looking for a boyfriend, he suggested keeping in touch as friends. Slowly, he started to gain her confidence and trust, although he'd made no progress on the romance front. The most they had ever done was hold hands, and even then she'd apologised for leading him on as she was drunk. He told her how much he liked her, and was shocked when she confessed that she was still a virgin at almost nineteen, and had never even kissed anyone. He'd tried to persuade her to change her mind on many occasions, but she told him she was saving herself for the right person.

Today was her nineteenth birthday, and he'd arranged a very special present for her. His family owned a villa on the exclusive Paradise Island, and the previous month, he'd presented her with a flight ticket, inviting her to fly out with him and join his parents for six weeks. 

Sera and John were having lunch at a local taverna to celebrate her birthday, but in the afternoon he'd planned something special, not for her, but himself. 

Nervously, he felt in his pocket for the powder he'd received from his contact. It was even better that rohypnol, the man had assured him. She would be powerless to refuse him anything, and if she remembered, she would assume she had been drunk or high. Cannabis was easily available on the island, and possession was usually dealt with by no more than a warning. He and Sera had got high a couple of times already, although she was innocent in some ways she was curious in others. 

John didn't regard what he planned to do as rape; he was crazy about Sera and would do whatever it took to make her his girlfriend. He was hard now just thinking about touching and kissing every inch of her body, before finally forcing his rock hard erection into her innocent body. Although he wanted a relationship with her, he intended to hurt her a little for making him wait.

"Having a good time?" he asked. 

She looked up from her glass of champagne, a slightly worried look on her lightly tanned face.

"Yes, it's just..."

"Oh, not still worrying are you? Look it's your birthday lets forget our differences and enjoy the day."

Paradise Island had recently had a change of government. The old regime had been brutal, treating women as second class citizens, and forcing their extreme religious views on the inhabitants. Now, after a military coup, the new president was a gentle family man, who was loved by most of the islanders. Tourism had begun to flourish under his rule, but there were those who resented the rich foreigners, and wanted a return to the old ways. 

Despite being one of the rich foreigners himself, John had been using his cover as a tourist to spy for the rebels. His contact had been helpful, supplying the powder for tonight's treat, as well as vast amounts of money for any information John could obtain for the cause. Stupidly, John had told Sera, who had been horrified. She loved the island and the way of life. The president had seemed so nice when she had met him briefly at a carnival in the capital. He had taken the time to speak to people, and had stopped by her and John. He had been sincere and genuinely interested, and she hated the fact that her friend could be even partly responsible for something happening to this lovely man.

Now as she smiled back at John, she tried to concentrate on the food and wine, but it was difficult. She knew that if John was caught he would face severe penalties, so she felt there was no way she could warn anyone. She'd asked him to stop but he said he was far too deep in now and knew too much. It would be more dangerous for him to stop now than to continue, he had explained. 

She sighed, wondering if she had done the right thing by agreeing to this holiday. Although she loved the island, she sometimes felt a little uneasy around John. She knew he wanted more than she was prepared to give, and that she would never change her mind. She realised that it was unusual to be so inexperienced at her age, but she had wanted to wait until she had met someone she really cared about. 

"There's a lot wrong with this government, you know," John began. "Look at that lot for instance. Ruffians and they're all armed. They're not even in the army; anyone who the president trusts can carry a gun. A couple of them have even got long hair!"

Sera followed his gaze to the four men in camouflage gear standing around the bar, laughing and drinking. 

"I'm sure they're ok," she replied. "Anyway, I like long hair."

John frowned and rubbed his own severely cropped hair. He'd make her pay for that comment later.

The tavern owner came over to the table, smiling. He had got to know the English tourists quite well over the past week.

"How is everything?" he asked Sera. 

"It's lovely, thanks."

"Good." He brought a bottle of champagne over to the table.

"I mentioned to the young men at the bar that it was your birthday. One of them sent this over with his compliments."

"Would you thank him for me?" she asked. The people here were so lovely, she thought. She had been shown nothing but kindness since she had arrived.

"Come over and thank him yourself," suggested the owner. 

Shyly, she followed him to the bar.

"Sera, this is Carlos."

She gazed up at the man, He appeared to be a few years older than her, and was stunningly handsome. He was about 6 feet tall, with olive skin, high cheekbones and raven black hair tied back from his face. He looked vaguely familiar. 

"Thank you for the champagne."

"That's OK. Happy birthday."

Before she realised what he was doing, he bent down and kissed her cheek softly. She blushed, noticing the way his dark eyes looked at her. She wasn't used to being flirted with by such an attractive man. 

"Maybe we can get together sometime," he suggested. "I'd love to show you round the island."

"Thanks; that would be lovely."

"Sera, your food's getting cold!" shouted John. Reluctantly, she went back to the table. 

"What was that ruffian saying to you?"

"He wasn't a ruffian, he was very polite. He offered to show me the island."

"I bet he did."

"John, you know the situation. We're just friends."

"You're on holiday with me; I can't believe you would hurt me like this. You know how I feel."

"But you said if I met someone I liked and had a holiday romance, you would be happy for me."

"I'm sorry Sera, you're right of course. I just don't know how you can like him, he looks like a gypsy."

"Mmm," said Sera dreamily. 

Throughout the meal she was aware of Carlos watching her and sneaked glances back, returning his smiles. So far her birthday had been wonderful, apart from her worries about John's activities. 

After the meal, they got up to leave. Sera went over to the men to say goodbye to Carlos.

"I'll see you here tomorrow same time," he said "if I don't see you before."

"I'll look forward to it," she replied shyly.

"Sera, can I give you a birthday kiss?" he asked.

Just thinking of his lips brushing her cheek again was enough to make her blush.

"Of course," she said. Maybe it would help John to get the message.

Before she knew what was happening, he had pulled her into his arms and kissed her on the lips, forcing her mouth open, trying to force his tongue inside. She struggled to free herself.

"Leave my girlfriend alone!" demanded John, and for once she was glad he'd called her his girlfriend. She had really liked Carlos, but now she felt a bit intimidated by him. He was hardly the gentle, romantic type of man she felt she needed.

"Your girlfriend," Carlos said scornfully, letting go of Sera. "What kind of slut flirts with another man, and what kind of weak pathetic man allows it? If she was my woman she wouldn't even look at another man."

As Sera and John left, Carlos turned to his companions. "She wants me," he said confidently, in his own language. "Well this might just be her lucky day if her boyfriend doesn't co operate."

"I feel such a fool," said Sera as she and John made their way back to the villa. "I over reacted; maybe I should go back and apologise."

"If anyone should apologise it's him; treating you like that. I told you he was rough. Now just forget all about it, you relax by the pool and I'll make you a special drink."

"Thanks," she replied, although she still felt upset, and had already decided to meet Carlos the next day to explain. She felt responsible, she had been flirting with him and he must have thought she wanted the kiss. Part of her had wanted it, but her inexperience had made her panic.

John's parents were having their usual afternoon siesta, and he decided to put his plan into action. Whilst Sera changed into her bikini, John went to the kitchen to prepare the drugged cocktail.

"Here's that drink I promised you," he said, handing her a glass. 

"What is it?"

"Sea Breeze with an added ingredient!"

"Thanks." If only she was attracted to John. He could be so kind sometimes, and he did genuinely seem to care about her.

Sera tried the drink, and John held his breath. "I can't notice anything different about it" she commented.

John rolled a joint, it was important that later Sera would blame everything on that.

The drug took effect fairly quickly, and Sera lay as if asleep. John knew that his parents could wake at any moment so he quickly pulled her bikini bottoms off. "So you shave do you?" he muttered. "Nice." Unaware of the man watching behind the bushes, he pushed Sera's legs apart, opened the bottle of oil he'd bought specially from a sex shop, and poured some into his hand. It was more for his comfort than hers, after her numerous rejections of him; he really didn't care how much he hurt her. 

Under the influence of the drug, Sera thought she was dreaming. In her dream, she could feel a man's fingers between her legs, stroking her gently. She imagined it was Carlos. She moaned softly, god it felt so good. Instinctively, she arched her back against the fingers. John grinned. "Well, you are a hot little slut aren't you? Who'd have thought it?" Sera heard nothing, only aware of the fingers stroking her faster. 

His eyes filled with lust, John pushed her legs further apart, bending her knees. She moaned again as she felt another sensation, not knowing it was John's tongue, only aware how good it felt. John forced his tongue inside her as far as possible. She felt so tight; he could hardly wait until he got his cock inside her. He continued to stroke her, forcing his tongue in and out, finally replacing his fingers with his tongue, hearing her soft moans. 

In her dream, Sera still had no idea what was causing the sensations. Her body started to shake, increasing the feelings caused by John's tongue. John groaned, hardly believing that Sera would finally be his. He kissed and licked her wildly, and she gasped as her body moved against John's tongue one last time. 

John sat up, gazing down at her. "I've waited so long for this," he said, unzipping his pants. "Come on you teasing bitch, take my cock."

"Sorry to spoil your fun!" 

John turned in shock at the voice, and saw Carlos watching them, an angry expression on his face. He noticed the way he was looking at Sera.

"Very nice," said Carlos. "If I had more time I'd take over from you. Is she drunk?"

"No, just a little high" replied John, throwing a towel over her. "Anyway, you're trespassing. Please leave immediately," he added, pulling his pants up.

"No you have to come with us. You need to answer some questions."

"Questions, what questions?"

"Oh, I think you know exactly what questions." He shouted to someone in the villa, and another of the men appeared. He was a similar height and bone structure to Carlos, and the two were obviously related. Looking at them John felt sure he recognized them but couldn't quite remember how.

"Angel will go with you while you pack, this could take some time." 

"I'll come with you, but leave my parents and my girlfriend out of this," said John. "They don't know anything."

"Your parents can stay in the villa," replied Carlos, "but we can't risk them contacting anyone until we've questioned you properly. It might take a few weeks so I'm afraid they're going to be under armed guard."

"What about Sera?"

"She's coming with us. She might be able to help us to persuade you to talk."

The man called Angel turned to John. "Right, get your things, and pack something for your girlfriend too." 

John wondered whether to try to reason with them, and then he realized why they looked so familiar. "Oh my God, Carlos and Angel. You're..."

"Shut up and start packing." ordered Angel.

As Angel and John went inside the villa, Carlos knelt down by Sera, noticing her pupils were dilated. "Pity you're out of it sweetheart," he said. "When I fuck you I want you to remember every second." It had turned him on so much watching the way she had responded to John, even though he personally would never dream of pleasing a woman that way. 

Sera sighed, still unaware of what was happening, and still coming down from the first orgasm she'd had from a man and not from her butterfly vibrator. "Carlos," she whispered, still thinking she was dreaming. Carlos smiled, he was right, she did want him. His good intentions disappeared. He still wanted her fully conscious the first time he took her, but meanwhile there were other ways. 

"Angel," he called.

"Yes?" 

"You take John to the van as soon as he's ready. Tell the others to stay with his parents and we'll send someone to relieve them. I've just got something to take care of here."

He took the towel off Sera and unfastened his pants, knowing he had to be quick just in case the others came out to ask him something. He moved on top of her. "I know you want me baby," he said, looking into her eyes. 

The drug was wearing off slightly. Sera could see Carlos, but still felt as if she was dreaming. Carlos began to grind his body against her, rubbing himself between her legs, feeling she was still wet from her previous orgasm. 

Sera began to moan in pleasure. This sensation was different again and even better. Still thinking she was dreaming, she began responding to him with tiny movements of her hips. "Come for me baby," he whispered. She had never felt such intense pleasure. Seeing the look on her face and hearing her half moan half scream as she came was too much for Carlos, and he came seconds later.

Voices from the villa reminded Carlos that he had no time to relax. He adjusted his clothes and grabbed the towel. Even though he felt guilty about what he'd just done, the sight of Sera lying there with his come between her legs was so erotic. 

"Next time it's your pussy or your mouth," he said, not realising that to an innocent virgin, it was a threat, not a promise. He wiped her gently, and wrapped her in another towel. 

"Thirsty," she muttered sleepily. He noticed the almost empty glass with the drugged cocktail and handed it to her. She drank it, still hardly aware what she was doing, and closed her eyes again. By the time Angel shouted to Carlos that he and John were ready to leave, Sera had passed out again, and Carlos had to carry her to the van.

John was in the back, handcuffed, with his ankles tied. Carlos lifted Sera in then got in beside her.

"Have you done anything to my girlfriend?" demanded John.

"Your girlfriend..." replied Carlos mockingly "loved it when I rubbed my cock against her. She was so wet, pushing back against me, moaning. Her body looked so beautiful after I came over her. I can't wait to fuck her."

"Only cowards torture women."

"Who said anything about torturing her?" replied Carlos. He pulled Sera towards him. "I saw the way she looked at me in the bar; she wants me, not you." 

"Leave her alone."

"Who's your contact?"

"Fuck off."

Carlos laughed. "Shame you left her bikini top on, I bet she's got gorgeous tits. Maybe I should have a look." He moved the towel away, and John struggled.

"Anything you want to tell me?" asked Carlos.

"Yes," replied John. "You're a fucking bastard."

Carlos unfastened Sera's bikini top. "I thought so," he said as her breasts were revealed. "They're beautiful."

He bent down and took a nipple in his mouth.

"No!" cried John, distraught. Another man was doing what he had dreamed about for so long. Unable to stop himself, he reached for Sera's other breast with his cuffed hands. Carlos pushed him away. "Don't touch my new toy," he said.

"I love her," said John, actually believing his deviant behaviour was motivated by love.

"Enough to talk?"

John's silence gave Carlos his answer. Again, he lowered his mouth to her breasts.

Sera sighed at yet another new sensation, as Carlos sucked hard at her breast. He stopped, and John noticed her nipple was erect.

"See, I told you she likes me," said Carlos. "What the hell did you give her or is she always this horny?"

"Always," replied John. "We smoked a bit of pot and then Sera had something else, but she's always hot for it with me, drugs or not." There was no way he was telling this sadistic bastard that Sera was a virgin.

"Shit, we're here already," said Carlos. "We can continue this conversation later."



Shattered Dreams Ch. 02



The interrogation rooms were in the government headquarters. The building had originally been a hotel, and the rooms in the basement were very luxurious for what were basically cells. They were all single rooms with their own bathroom, of course they had been modified so there was nothing a prisoner could use to either escape or harm themselves or anyone else.

Sera and John had been taken to adjoining rooms. They would be able to shout to each other through the interconnecting doors, which were locked, but both rooms were bugged. 

Sera woke up feeling confused. The last thing she remembered was being by the pool with John, then nothing. She looked around, wondering where she was. She must be in hospital, she thought, but why did she only have a towel covering her? She stood up weakly, and managed to stagger to the door. She tried to open it but it was locked. 

John heard her.

"Sera darling, it's me. I'm afraid we're in big trouble. I'm being questioned for spying, and they think you know something about it too."

"What happened?" she asked. "I don't remember much, just having that drink."

"There was a struggle and you hit your head," John lied.

She was worried. She knew that she had done nothing wrong, but she was in a strange country with its own rules. She had already been kissed against her will, she had dreamed of her first kiss for so long, wanting it to be romantic and gentle, but Carlos had been so rough with her. 

Thinking of dreams...the ones she'd had earlier made her blush. They had seemed so real. Something must have spilt on her to trigger that last one, her thighs felt slightly sticky. 

She went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She knew she was in deep trouble, but all she could think about were those dreams, Carlos touching her, using her body until he came. She wondered how it would feel in real life, and then cursed herself for being so unrealistic. There was no way someone so good looking and obviously experienced would want someone as shy as her, and even if he did, she didn't intend to have sex until she knew someone really well and felt it was right. She was pretty sure someone like Carlos wouldn't be prepared to wait. 

She stepped out of the shower, and wrapped herself in the towel. Back in the main room, she tried to find something to wear. Someone had brought her handbag in but there was no sign of any of her other possessions. Her passport was still in the bag and she took it out, feeling safer now.

Upstairs Carlos was watching the security cameras.

"Good, she's awake," he said. I think it's time to start questioning them."

A few minutes later, Sera heard hear shouting from the room where John was being held. 

"I demand to see someone from the British Embassy."

"You're in no position to demand anything. Tell me the name of your contact, and the information you've given him, and then we can talk."

"I can't. They'll kill me."

"We can arrange protection. Just tell me everything and we'll consider letting you go."

"No. It's better that I rot in your jail than they get hold of me."

"I'm sure you'll soon change your mind. I'm going to question Sera."

"I told you, she doesn't know anything."

"Why should I believe you?"

"It's true. And whatever you do to her, I won't talk."

Sera heard the door of her room being unlocked. Looking up, she saw Carlos. She blushed, remembering her erotic dreams of him. His hair was loose now, and fell in wild curls to his shoulders. She pulled the towel round her protectively. 

"Are you OK?" he asked.

She looked at him warily. "I just want to get out of here," she replied. "I don't know anything. I know John was spying and I tried to talk him out of it, but I don't know any of the details I swear." 

She looked up at him pleadingly. He met her frightened eyes. She seemed so genuine; she must be telling the truth. 

"You swear your boyfriend hasn't told you anything?"

"He's not my boyfriend, and no."

"Your lover then?"

"We're just friends, there's nothing between us."

"Liar."

"It's the truth, honest." 

She was very convincing and if he hadn't seen her with John with his own eyes, he would probably have believed her. If she could lie so easily, he was sure now she knew more than she was letting on about her boyfriend's activities.

Until this moment he had only meant to give her a warning and let her go. But then something changed, and he realised he enjoyed having the beautiful girl in his power. He remembered how she had flirted with him in the bar, he'd wanted her ever since he first saw her and he could tell from the way she looked at him even now that she found him attractive too. He was pretty sure now, that loyalty to her boyfriend would make her resist any advances he made towards her, but maybe there was still a way.

She showed him her passport. "Please - let me see someone from the embassy." 

He took the passport from her and threw it on the floor. "You think this is some kind of magic charm? It won't do you any good in here."

"But I haven't done anything wrong."

"No? We found drugs in the villa, and on your boyfriend."

"He's..." she began.

"She doesn't know anything" shouted John. 

"Sera, if we test you for drugs, I wonder what we're going to find."

"Its only pot, I'm sorry."

"You know we can prosecute you?"

"Yes but you don't usually."

"We could make you an example. It could take months for the trial; you could be here a long time."

"No, please, I want to see my family."

"Ok, maybe we can do a deal."

"I can pay you. I can get money from my account."

"Not that sort of deal. You do everything I tell you for the next 24 hours and you can go. If not, you stay here until your trial for possession, whenever that is."

Sera felt desperate. She wasn't sure what Carlos wanted, but she just wanted to see her family. If this man wanted to order her around a bit, what did it matter? In 24 hours she would be free.

"Alright." she whispered.

He smiled and sat on the bed, but looking at her he had a sudden attack of conscience. What if he was mistaken about her attraction to him? What if her saying his name in a dream was just a coincidence?

"You were flirting with me at the bar weren't you?"

She blushed. "Yes, I suppose I was. I'm sorry."

"Why were you flirting with me?"

She didn't answer.

"I asked you a question."

She dropped her eyes. "Because I thought you were good looking," she admitted.

"Good," he said. "Now get on your knees"

Even then, she didn't realise. When he started unfastening his belt, she thought he was going to beat her. She was scared, but she would try to stand the pain so she could be free.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the first sting of the belt. Nothing happened; then she felt a hand at the back of her head. Her eyes flew open, and she stared in shock. She had seen pictures, statues, even a few porno films, but nothing had prepared her for this. He was naked from the waist down, and he was huge. Even compared to the actors in the films he was impressive, and she knew they had been chosen for attributes other than acting.

"Come on baby," he said. "You know what I want."

She'd always found the idea of oral sex repulsive, and the thought of being made to do it to this stranger was terrifying.

"No," she protested. "I won't do that, you can't make me."

"Think about it", he said softly. "You know you could be here a long time. This time tomorrow you could be on a plane to England."

She was silent for a moment. He obviously wanted to humiliate her. What he wanted disgusted her, but at least it wouldn't be painful. She would survive it somehow, she would have to.

"Well?" he demanded.

"Please" she begged. "Do I have to?"

"Another thing," he added, "when I tell you to do something, no crying, no begging, no pleading. Any kind of protest and I might change my mind."

She gazed up at him fearfully.

"Ok," she whispered.

She looked at him. She couldn't do it, she just couldn't. Even if she could get over her revulsion for the act and force herself, he would probably choke her.

"I'm waiting," he said.

He was beginning to lose patience. She was acting like he a frightened little girl, why the hell was she making such a fuss. He remembered noticing back at the villa that John was hung like a mouse; maybe that explained it.

Tightening his grip on her, he began to rub himself against her mouth. She really did look scared, he thought. Maybe he would let her get used to it slowly.

"Lick me," he said softly. 

She felt a wave of despair; she knew she had no choice. Hesitantly, she touched him with her tongue. To her relief, she tasted nothing but clean skin. Slowly, she began to lick him up and down as she had seen in the pornos she had watched, praying she was doing it right and he wouldn't be angry with her. 

"You do this so well," he said huskily. The soft touch of her tongue was one of the most erotic things he had ever experienced. He watched her, knowing he would be dreaming about this long after she was back in England. 

"Open your mouth," he said. "Relax your throat. I want to go as deep as I can and I don't want you to feel like you're choking."

She obeyed him, she still felt humiliated, but what she had done so far had been bearable. She felt him pushing inside her mouth.

"Suck me," he ordered. "Use your tongue."

He pushed deeper and deeper, and somehow she managed not to gag. She was scared of angering him. He used her mouth for what seemed ages, then she heard him groaning.

"Oh god baby, I want to come. Suck me really hard. And don't spit."

She felt disgusted, he actually planned to come in her mouth. She couldn't help the tears, she knew he would be angry with her but she was dreading it so much. 

His hands tightened in her hair, and he did not notice her tears. She seemed frozen.

"Are you deaf?" he demanded. "I told you to suck me. Now do it." He felt a bit guilty about the way he was treating her. Maybe she didn't swallow. Oh well, he was doing her boyfriend a favour and teaching her something new.

She obeyed him, the touch of her tongue driving him wild. He had always preferred experienced women, but for some reason the thought that he was possibly the first man to come in her mouth was making him even more turned on. He cried out as he came, holding her against him until he had finished. 

She felt him coming in her mouth and prayed she would manage not to be sick. But it really wasn't bad, the taste wasn't unpleasant at all and she didn't even mind swallowing. Finally, he let her go, and she collapsed, sobbing, not because of the act itself, but the fact she'd been more or less forced to do it had made her feel completely degraded. 

"That was so good baby." he said. 

She heard him readjusting his clothes; then he left, closing and locking the door behind him. Once he had gone, her sobs became louder, finally, exhausted by her tears, she dragged herself to the bathroom, splashed her face with cold water, and rinsed her mouth out, just wanting to forget what she had been through.

"What happened?" shouted John.

"I don't want to talk about it" she replied.

John got a towel from the bathroom and cleaned himself up. He had been listening to everything through the door, and it had turned him on so much he'd had to give himself some relief. He'd imagined that he was Carlos, that he was dominating Sera. Once the embassy had managed to get them released, things were going to change. He would tell Sera that if she didn't want everyone to know what she had been forced to do, she would have to do it to him as well.

He came back from the bathroom.

"Maybe it would help to talk"

He wanted to hear all the details, how big Carlos was, how Sera had felt when she was forced to pleasure him. He wanted her to describe in detail what she had been forced to do, so he could make himself come again. But the only sounds from the other room were those of her desperate sobs.



Shattered Dreams Ch. 02



When I wrote Shattered Dreams it was intended as a one-off story, no sequel, nothing further... But the response I got through comments and numerous emails was nearly overwhelming so I have tried to write more of Janey's and her family's story. 

Now I know a lot of fans of the Stolen series probably wont like the way this story has chosen to go but please try to bear with it.

Happy reading and please keep the comments coming.

##################################

Janey watched from her favourite lounge chair as her brother Robby walked into the lounge room with another man following him. Janey took one look at the big black leather jacket and bike boots he wore and sunk down in her chair as if she was trying to avoid drawing attention to herself.

"Adam, you've met my father," Robby said.

"Hallo Mr Wilkinson," Adam said with a friendly smile.

"Hi Adam," Jim said as he got to his feet to shake Adam's hand.

"This is my mother Marina Wilkinson," Robby introduced Marina.

"Hallo Adam," Marina said from her seat.

"Mrs Wilkinson, it's a real pleasure to meet you," Adam said with a charming smile.

"You know James and Caro," Robby said.

"James," Adam said as James got to his feet and the two men shook hands. He then smiled at Caro and gave a faint nod. "Caro."

"I don't believe you have met my youngest sister Janey. Janey this is Adam, Adam this is Janey." Robby introduced them.

"Hallo Janey," Adam said with a friendly smile.

"Hallo," Janey muttered almost inaudibly as she avoided his gaze.

"Janey is a bit shy around strangers," James said as he noticed her unease.

"I have to check on the food," Marina said as she got to her feet.

"I'll help," Janey said as she scrambled to her feet hurriedly and quickly headed to the kitchen. She was waiting on the far side of the table when her mother walked into the room and Marina couldn't help but notice the way she kept glancing towards the doorway.

"Adam is a friend of Rob's from work," Marina explained to her daughter.

Janey remained silent as she watched her mother checking the roast that she was cooking for tea.

"Well this is all cooked. I just need to make some gravy to go with the roast," Marina said as she opened the cupboard and reached for a packet of gravy powder. "I'm feeling lazy today," She said with a smile at Janey.

"I can make pan juice gravy while you dish out if you like," Janey offered suddenly.

Marina paused for a moment then nodded. "Okay, if you're sure." 

"I can do it real easy Mama," Janey hurried to reassure her mother.

Marina handed Janey the flour and reached for a platter to place the roast pork on. 

With the meat set aside on a platter Janey quickly went about making the gravy from the rich pan juices knowing that the gravy that resulted would taste much better than packet gravy.

When the gravy was finished Marina put it in a gravy boat and sat it on the stovetop to keep warm as she began transferring food onto the dining room table. With the roast and the gravy the last to go on the table she stood back and glanced over the table to make sure all was in order before she turned towards the door that led into the lounge room.

"Tea is served, please come to the table," Marina called. She watched as everyone made their way into the room and sat down at the table.

Janey watched as Robby's friend sat down opposite her. She avoided his gaze and kept her eyes on her plate.

"Jim would you carve the roast please?" Marina asked.

"My pleasure my dear," Jim said and reached for the carving knife.

Throughout the meal Adam couldn't help noticing the politeness of the family as a whole. He was also very much aware of Janey's withdrawn presence across from him. She didn't interact with anyone unless drawn into the conversation by a direct comment that was addressed to her. Also he noticed that she barely ate and when she did it was after her father had told her, "Come on eat up."

After the meal Robby and Adam retired to the games room to talk while Caro and Janey helped their mother clean up after the meal. Jim and James went into the lounge room to watch the news on the television.

"Hey Janey, can you come with me for a moment?" Robby asked from the doorway. "And Mum can you do me a roast sandwich please? I'm still hungry." He asked with a smile at his mother.

Janey followed her brother to the games room and hesitated for a moment when she saw Adam sitting in one of the chairs that were around a table in one corner.

"Come over and sit down with us for a few minutes please Janey," Robby said firmly. He watched as she made her way over to the table reluctantly and sat down at the table as far away from Adam as she could get. Robbie sat down nearer to his sister than to his colleague. He smiled at her hoping to relieve some of her anxiety.

"Let me tell you something about myself Janey. As you know I am a colleague of your brother's but I work in a slightly different area of crime prevention. I am helping to work on one case at the moment that I was hoping you could help me with. 

Apparently in Melbourne there was an assault reported by a young mother. She witnessed an assault soon after leaving a fish and chip shop. A girl or woman was seen as she was grabbed from behind and dragged into an alley." Adam paused and watched Janey's face for any expression but it was totally blank and closed to any emotion.

"Janey, this mother of two small children identified one of three men quite positively and the two others tentatively. But it is only her statement against the claim of these men that anything happened. The man seen pulling this person into an alley has a record for turning young girls into prostitutes ..." Robby paused. He interjected hoping to play on her strong sense of what was right and wrong. Janey jerked her head up to look at him. Clearly something had touched a nerve within her.

"The description of the victim fits you and the timing of the incident is very close to when it is believed you would have been in the area," Adam said gently.

Janey remained silent as she looked away from her brother.

Marina walked into the room oblivious to the conversation; she carried a tray that contained two sandwiches, two beers and a glass of coke.

Janey took the chance to get to her feet and head for the door to leave the room.

"Janey, don't go. We aren't finished talking yet," Robby ordered lightly.

"I'm tired Mama, I don't feel good." Janey directed her comment to her mother.

"Robert let your sister go to her room," Marina ordered.

"No mother. Janey is staying here to speak with us." Robby used his business voice that he used at work.

Janey looked towards her mother appealingly.

Marina hesitated a moment as Janey held her gaze pleadingly. She looked away from her daughter to where Robby and Adam sat. Robby had explained to her and Jim that Adam needed to talk to Janey regarding something they believed to have happened to her while she was away.

"Okay, but don't keep her long," Marina said firmly before walking from the room.

"Janey, come and sit down. Mum sent in a drink for you," Robby said softly as Marina closed the door behind her.

Janey stood motionless. She was turned away from them slightly and her head was lowered as she looked nervously towards them but not at them.

"Okay Janey, enough stalling. Sit down," Adam ordered firmly.

Robby forced himself to remain silent at the tone of Adam's voice but he noticed the immediate reaction from Janey as she tensed then did as she was told.

"Eat." Adam ordered as he took the plate with the sandwich on it and placed it on the table in front of Janey.

Robby watched silently as his sister picked up half of the sandwich and took a bite. He realised with shock that she was hungry.

"You weren't allowed to do anything unless you were told to, were you?" Adam asked firmly.

Janey kept her eyes on her plate as she swallowed the mouthful of food before answering. "I had to do as I was told," She whispered faintly.

"Keep eating. Now this woman who reported what she saw has placed herself and her family in danger. These men won't be very happy when they have to go to court. Now if the victim was to be found and could testify in court as to what happened, the men would end up in jail for a good amount of time," Adam told her.

Janey didn't say anything as she ate the sandwich slowly without looking at either man.

"Now I am sure you're scared of whoever hurt you, but you wouldn't want them to be able to hurt anyone else wouldn't you?" Adam asked softly as if they were sharing a secret.

Janey remained silent as she reached for her drink.

"I have some books with pictures in them for you to have a look at. Maybe you might see someone you recognise or someone who hurt you." Adam coaxed as he reached down beside his chair to lift a brief case onto the table. He removed two books from the case before placing it back on the floor. He opened one book to the first page of pictures and placed it above the plate in front of Janey.

"Come on. Janey, just have a quick look." Robby coaxed.

Adam slowly turned to the next page. Janey wasn't looking at the book but she also wasn't looking away from it. Adam continued to turn pages very slowly until Janey jumped to her feet and moved away hurriedly.

"I don't want to do this!" Janey protested as she turned to face them nervously.

Adam lifted the book so he could see the pictures that were on display clearly; he glanced towards Robby with a slight nod.

"Janey, do you know any of these people? Have you seen them before?" Robby asked gently.

Janey took a step backwards then turned and fled to the door, pulled it open and ran from the room.

Robby reached out and lifted the book to lay open in front of him; he looked at the pictures angrily. "Which one is the one that was identified for the assault?" he asked gruffly.

"Page twenty-seven, top right hand corner. The two photos directly below are his known associates." Adam said with a frustrated sigh as they looked at pictures of Seth Markham, Royce Johnston and Sebastian Zane.

* * * * *

Janey arrived at her room to find Caro sitting on the spare bed sorting some clothes she had brought into the room with her.

"What are you doing in here?" Janey almost demanded as she felt annoyance with her sister for invading her privacy.

"Adam is staying over tonight. Mum said he could have my room and I can sleep in here with you," Caro explained.

Janey regarded her older sister silently. They both had their own rooms with two single beds in each but very rarely did anyone enter their rooms without first gaining permission.

"What ever happened to my red sundress?" Caro asked curiously.

Janey was motionless as she watched her sister for a moment. Caro had invaded her room and now she was asking about the red dress that Janey only remembered with humiliation after Hawk cut it short to show off her legs. 

Janey was feeling the stress of being forced to look at the pictures, seeing the faces of Seth, Roy and Zane looking at her from photographs. And now Caro was asking about the dress!

"Why did you leave me that dress?" Janey demanded angrily. "And why did you leave me to walk back to the campervan alone? Were you going to meet him? Did you chicken out at the last minute? Did you know what type of mongrel bastard he was? Did you! Did you! Did you!" Janey's voice rose quickly to a scream as she railed at her sister. She stopped her verbal attack on her sister with a sharply indrawn breath as she realised she was screaming at her. The horror of what she had gone through finally caught up with her. And she staggered back against the wall as she began crying.

Caro watched in stunned horror as her sister slid down the wall to collapse in a sobbing heap on the floor. Recovering from her shock at Janey's angry outburst, Caro rushed to her sister and went to take her in her arms but Janey recoiled from her.

"Leave me alone! Don't touch me! I don't want you to touch me! I don't want anyone to touch me!" Janey screamed at Caro as she turned her face away.

There was the sound of running then the door was thrust open and James stepped into the room. He looked at Caro where she stood several steps back from Janey; tears streaked both their faces as she turned away. Then he glanced at Janey where she sat on the floor, her legs pulled tightly to her chest and her face buried against her knees.

"Hey, what's going on? I can hear the shouting over the TV," James said as he stepped towards Janey as Robby appeared in the doorway followed closely by his mother and father.

"Go away! Everyone just go away!" Janey yelled as she lifted her head to reveal her tear-stained face.

Jim was appalled at the way Janey was acting. None of his children had ever been cheeky or rude but now Janey was acting totally unlike herself, had been since returning home. He didn't know what to say so he remained silent.

"I just want my room to myself, is that too much to ask?" Janey asked tearfully.

"I'll leave," Caro said and rushed from the room.

Marina watched Caro leave then began to shoo the others from the room. When they were alone she sat on the bed facing her daughter and waited in silence for a few minutes while Janey calmed down.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Marina asked quietly.

Janey lifted her head from where she had rested her forehead against her knees. "Talking about it won't change it Mum," Janey said sadly.

Marina studied her daughter closely as she realised that Janey had just called her Mum not Mama as she had for the last few days. Janey had stopped calling her Mama when she started school at the age of five and to have reverted back to it after ... Marina stopped the thought. She didn't want to think about it again. Surely the way Janey had reverted to calling her Mama had shown how badly she had been off mentally and emotionally Marina thought. 

"No it won't change it but it might make the memories hurt a bit less." Marina offered.

"I'm not ready yet," Janey said quietly and gave her mother a weak and watery smile.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here. It doesn't matter what I am doing, I'll never be to busy for you to talk me." Marina reinforced her offer, waited a few moments then asked "You don't mind if Caro sleeps in here tonight do you?" Marina asked.

"It'll be fine." Janey answered as she climbed to her feet. "I want to wash my face," She said by way of explanation as she headed for the door.

"When you're finished come down to the kitchen. I got ice cream." Marina told her. 

Marina followed Janey from the bedroom and then headed towards the kitchen while Janey headed towards the bathroom. In the kitchen Marina was dishing up ice cream in cones when Jim walked in and hugged her from behind.

"Is Janey okay?" Jim asked.

"I think something has happened to jolt her out of the apathy she has been in the last three days." Marina said softly. 

"I wish knew what I could do or say to her to help her! I hate it when she looks and acts as if she wants to keep well away from everyone. That is not our Janey!" Jim said

* * * * *

The next morning after breakfast was over and Janey had helped her mother clean up after the meal she was wandering through the house bored when she came to the doorway of the games room. Janey looked at the two books that still sat on the table in the games room. She glanced around to make sure no one was in the room and then forced herself to walk over to the table. She swallowed around the hard lump of terror in her throat as she sat down and reached for the top book. Her hands were shaking as she cautiously turned the first page.

"They're just pictures! They can't hurt me!" She whispered fiercely to herself as she continued to turn pages.

Finally she turned the page to see the pictures she dreaded. Seth, Roy and Zane looked back at her from stark photos. Suddenly she clearly remembered her terror as Seth had ordered her onto her knees in front of him to ... Janey jerked her thoughts back but her memories crowded in and she was reliving the terror as she once again felt the blindfold being tied in place and her wrists being tied up.

Janey scrambled from the seat and paced backwards and forwards beside the table as she struggled to control her terror. Slowly she forced the emotions under control until she could stop pacing and turn to look at the book once again.

"They blindfolded me, tied me up, and he raped me," Janey said faintly. No one was in the room to hear her but it did not take away from the feeling of power the words gave her.

The faint sound of the phone ringing drew her attention and she turned towards the door. The phone stopped ringing and she heard the murmur of her mother's voice as she turned back towards the table.

"Janey! Phone call for you!" Marina called.

Janey turned away from the book on the table and headed out towards the hallway where the phone was.

"Who is it?" Janey asked as her mother handed the receiver to her.

"The hospital with your test results," Marina told her.

"Hallo." Janey said slightly nervously. Surely they could have given the results to her mother!

"Janetta? This is Sister Emerson from the hospital. Doctor Michaels would like you to make an appointment to come in and discuss the results of your tests," The nurse told her.

"Is there something wrong?" Janey demanded nervously.

"The doctor just needs to see you. A follow up visit." The nurse explained smoothly.

"Ah, okay. When?" Janey asked nervously.

"How about at 11am? That will give you an hour to get here."

"Let me check with my mother," Janey glanced towards her mother.

"I can make sure you get there, so whenever is fine with me." Marina said before Janey said anything.

"Okay. I'll be there at eleven," Janey said and hung up with a worried glance towards her mother.

"Try not to worry. The doctor probably just wants to see you to make sure you're doing okay," Marina said soothingly.

"I had better go get ready," Janey said as she turned away and headed for her room.

Since the upset between her and her sister the previous evening Janey had been more like her old self although she was still slightly withdrawn and avoided any bodily contact.

In her room Janey changed into a comfortable pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt, grabbed a jacket and headed to the kitchen for a drink. She helped herself to a glass of cold water and was standing at the sink drinking it when her mother walked into the room.

"How long is Robby's friend staying here?" Janey asked.

"You mean Adam?" Marina asked and at Janey's nod continued. "He is staying until the day after tomorrow. Why do you ask?"

Janey shrugged and turned away. She didn't know how to explain to her mother about the two books of photos and being asked if she had seen anyone in the book she had been shown. She wasn't ready to talk in front of her brother or any other member of her family about what she had gone through as yet. And she was certainly not ready to face looking at a picture of any man that had raped her while her brother was trying to talk to her about what had happened. To identify anyone and tell what they had done to her was to admit that what had happened was more than a nightmare she had had and it was actually something she'd lived through.

"Can we go to the newsagent so I can get a magazine?" Janey asked softly.

"Of course we can! I want to get some more writing paper for letters so we can stop at the newsagent on the way. Do you want to have a cappuccino before the appointment?" Marina asked.

"Yeah," Janey said with a faint smile.

"Well let's get a move on," Marina said as she turned and led the way to the front door.

Janey followed her mother out to the family car and got into the passenger seat, her mother slipped behind the wheel and after a few minutes they were headed into town




Shattered Dreams Ch. 02



The time passed quickly as Marina looked for the fancy decorated stationary paper she favoured while Janey quickly found a magazine she wanted. They went to a popular coffee shop that served good cappuccino coffee and they both had a cup before heading to the local hospital and the clinic that was run in one of the suites.

Janey was nervous as she and her mother sat in the waiting room. She kept twisting her hands together and glancing towards the office door nervously.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Marina asked quietly.

Janey shook her head hurriedly and looked towards her mother worriedly. If the doctor was going to ask more questions about what had happened to her she didn't want her mother hearing anything she said.

"I'll be alright." Janey forced the words from her dry throat.

The wait seemed to take for eternity but was actually only a few minutes before Dr Michaels opened the door and looked around the waiting room. She spotted Janey and smiled at her as she beckoned her towards the door. "You're next Janey. Please come in and take a seat. Would you like your mother to come in as well?"

"I'll be fine," Janey rushed to say with an uneasy glance towards her mother before walking past the doctor.

Dr Michaels shut the door behind Janey and walked towards where some scales stood near one of the walls. "How about you hop onto these so we can see if you have put on any of the weight you lost," She coaxed in a gentle tone.

Janey hesitated for a few moments then walked over and stepped onto the scales. She watched as the needle moved around the dial and finally bounced between several markings before settling on one.

"Okay. You can sit down now." Dr Michaels said with a smile before taking her seat behind the desk. She looked at the computer screen and tapped several keys before typing briefly.

"That's good. You have gained a kilo and I must say your colour is looking much better. Now let me set your mind at rest. The tests for STD's, Hepatitis and HIV have come back negative. It usually takes longer for results but I had the results rushed through. Your blood work results need some monitoring; you're low in iron and your electrolytes showed that you were close to becoming dehydrated. Now I removed that contraceptive implant, can you remember when it was implanted?" Dr Michaels asked.

"Yes." Janey said softly.

"Can you tell me? Was it before or after the men started forcing you to have sex with them?" Dr Michaels asked gently.

Janey looked down at her hands as she twisted them with anxiety. She gave slight shrug without saying anything.

"Janey? Is it you can't remember or you don't want to remember?" Dr Michaels asked in a kind voice.

"I don't want to think about what happened!" Janey protested as she looked away from both the doctor and her own hands.

"Janey, I really need you to answer the question," The doctor coaxed.

"The sex came first," Janey finally admitted in a faint voice.

"That's what I thought," Dr Michaels said as she quickly typed something into the computer again.

Janey glanced at the doctor before looking around the room at the diplomas displayed on the wall.

"Janey, I want you to listen to me okay? The device that was implanted is highly successful at preventing pregnancy; it works by stopping the release of the egg. The device can't work when it is implanted after ovulation, unfortunately. I believe this is what happened in your case. You got pregnant before the device was implanted. Your hormone levels are all over the place but it looks like you still are pregnant," Dr Michaels said gently.

Janey turned shocked eyes towards the doctor and moved her head from side to side slowly. "I can't be!"

"I want you to have an ultra sound and another blood test to check your hormone levels. We need to find out if the implant compromised the pregnancy. When we find out how things stand then we can discuss your options," The doctor said sympathetically.

Janey looked away from Dr Michaels as what she was saying tried to sink in. Janey was having trouble grasping the concept of what had been said.

"Would you like me to explain what has happened to your mother?" 

"You can't! You can't!" Janey rushed to say.

"It's okay. I won't say anything if that is what you prefer. Now about the ultra sound and blood test. An emergency appointment was made for you for in... " The doctor looked at her watch before resuming speaking. "...Just over an hour. My receptionist has the instructions for the ultra sound for you."

Janey sat there too stunned to speak as what she had been told started to sink in. She listened vaguely as Dr Michaels explained that she could go away for nearly an hour; maybe have something to eat before returning and going to the blood and x-ray departments. She found herself ushered to the door and out into the waiting room as Dr Michaels admonished her to remember to continue drinking plenty of fluids and to eat healthy so that she would continue to regain a healthy weight. Janey found herself in front of the reception desk beside her mother as the receptionist handed over two forms and a piece of paper with instructions.

"Remember to go to your appointment in an hour and get the blood taken so the doctor can keep an eye on your health." The receptionist told her with a smile.

Janey knodded her agreement and walked from the doctor's suite with her mother by her side.

"How about we have an early lunch since you have to get the blood test? Or do you have to not eat before hand?" Marina asked.

Janey turned her attention to the leaflet of instructions and read it quickly. There was nothing that said not to eat but it was advised to only eat lightly before the test. But it did state she had to go to the toilet, empty her bladder and then not go again until after the test.

"I can eat. But I really need to use a toilet." Janey said with a grimace.

"We can eat in the courtyard café here and there are amenities nearby." Marina said as she began to lead the way through the hallways.

* * * * *

Janey lay on her bed looking at the ceiling above her. The day so far had been very exhausting and it was only 4pm. She rolled onto her side and looked at the white paper bag on her bedside drawers that contained the iron tablets Dr Michaels had prescribed for her. Janey closed her eyes tightly as she tried not to think about the news Dr Michaels had given her. She didn't want to think about the life that had been forced into her body against her will. She heard footsteps approach her door and stop, then someone knocked on the door.

"Janey, I'm heading to the beach for half and hour. Want to come?" James called through the door.

Janey sat up; surely at the beach she would be able to get her mind away from the frightening fact that the pregnancy had been confirmed by the ultra sound.

"Give me a minute to change!" Janey called as she opened a drawer and pulled a pair of shorts out.

Five minutes later Janey was in her brother's car as they headed towards the strip of beach that was not far up the road. When they arrived there were no other people on the beach and the two of them walked down to the waters edge easily. 

James pulled his shirt off over his head and dropped it onto the dry sand along with his towel and sandals. He turned his head to look at Janey as he asked "You coming in too?"

"I'll just wade along the beach." Janey said and headed towards the water line. She walked knee deep into the water and watched her brother as he went out deeper and finally dove beneath the white cap of a wave. She saw his head come to the surface on the far side before he began swimming strongly.

After a few moments of watching her brother swimming she began to walk along the waterline splashing in the frothy water as the waves receded. The events of the past weeks faded to the back of her mind as she jumped the incoming waves and played in the water as she always had. The knowledge of her pregnancy had the feeling of not being real, it was still too new to absorb mentally and subconsciously she had pushed it to the back of her mind where she did not have to deal with it for now.

She paused in her play for a few moments as she looked to where her brother was now making his way out of the surf. With a start Janey realised that it would take time but she would be able to pick up the strands of her life and put them back together again. She had had her innocence stolen and her life disrupted in a most cruel way. Her life would never return to how it was but she knew that she would be able to gradually move forward from here. 



Shattered Dreams Ch. 03



In the security centre, Carlos watched the security tape of John's cell. He had been called up by the guards, who said they had something interesting to show him. He had already warned them not to watch the tape of Sera's cell; he retrieved it himself then put it aside in case he felt like reliving a few memories once he had let her go.

"That sick bastard," he exclaimed. "He's getting off on listening to me with his girlfriend. Maybe I can use this to get her to talk." If not, he had plans for her anyway. 

After watching the tape, he looked through Sera's suitcase, first removing anything that could be used as a weapon, and then removing some of her clothes, only leaving the most glamorous outfits and underwear. "Call Rosa" he said.

In the cell, Sera had cried herself to sleep. A sulky looking girl had appeared with some food earlier but she had just picked at it. She had been left emotionally exhausted by what she had been forced to do, and John hadn't exactly helped by wanting her to talk about it. The last thing she wanted to do was relive it. She had felt so helpless; she could only hope the worst was over now, and that Carlos would let her go now he'd had what he wanted. At the back of her mind, she knew that this was unlikely, but she couldn't even let herself think that he would want even more from her.

She was woken by a knock on the door, and the sound of the key in the lock. Terrified, she pulled the towel back round her, and was almost relieved to see the unfriendly looking girl who had brought the food.

"I brought your suitcase. You are to dress and put make up on, and come with me." Her voice was cold, and she looked at Sera in a hostile manner.

"What's happening, are you taking me to the embassy?"

"I have no idea. I just have my orders. Call me when you are ready."

The girl shut the door behind her, and Sera changed, wishing she had been given more choice in what to wear. She only had glamorous dresses, low cut t shirts and skirts which were either short and tight, or floaty and feminine. She was hardly going to create a favourable impression at the embassy if she looked like she was dressed for a hot date. In the end she settled for a black silk dress, the neckline was a little too low to be formal, but is the best she could do. At the mirror, she applied her make up. She almost expected to look different, but there was nothing in her eyes to suggest the trauma she had been through. 

"I'm ready" she called nervously.

The girl unlocked the door, this time there were two men with her. "Come with us" she ordered. Sera went with them up the stairs and out of the building, where she was pushed into a car. The girl went back inside the building.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked, but both the driver and the guard sitting next to her on the back seat ignored her. 

They drove out of the town and into an exclusive resort. Sera had been through it once, all the houses had their own private grounds and the bigger ones even had their own private beach areas. They finally stopped at the biggest and most luxurious villa.

The driver got out and pressed the intercom, on the front door. After a short conversation, he pushed the door open. The guard got out, gesturing for Sera to follow him. She stepped out of the car and began to run, but he caught her easily, and dragged her inside the villa.

The driver knocked on a door just off the hallway. It was opened, and the guard dragged Sera inside.

The room was dimly lit by gothic style lighting in alcoves in the white walls. There were terracotta coloured tiles on the floor, and a couple of brightly coloured rugs. When Sera saw who was sitting on the sofa, her heart sank.

Carlos glanced approvingly at Sera. He'd been anticipating her arrival ever since he got home. As soon as he'd arrived home himself, he'd showered and changed into black jeans and a white t shirt. Then he'd gone downstairs and replaced the tape in his video recorder with the one from John's cell. Finally he'd taken a bottle of champagne from the fridge and put it in an ice bucket.

"You look good in that dress, I knew you would," he said. She felt embarrassed to think of him looking through her suitcase, touching her clothes. 

"Come here" he ordered, patting the sofa. When she hesitated, he sighed.

"I thought we had a deal."

Reluctantly, she crossed the room, and sat as far away from him as possible. He ordered the guard and the driver to leave them, and a few minutes later Sera heard the car driving away, and knew she was alone with the man who had abused her. 

"Why am I here?" 

"To amuse me." 

"Who are you?" she asked, wondering why he had so much power and influence.

He didn't answer her, but got up, and took the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket. He opened it expertly, and began to pour her a glass.

"No thanks" she said.

"I wasn't asking" he replied, handing her the glass. He poured one for himself and picked up the remote control for the video. "I thought you might be interested in this."

The tape started. She saw John listening at the locked door between his cell and hers and watched in horror as his hand dropped to his pants. She watched him begin to rub himself through his shorts before pulling them down.

She turned away, but not before she had noticed how small John was in comparison to Carlos. Now she was even more worried about what Carlos had planned for her.

"Seen enough?" he asked.

"Yes, please stop it."

He stopped the tape and turned to her. "Are you sure you don't know who John's contact is?"

"I don't know anything; I'd tell you if I did. Do you really think I wanted to be partly responsible for innocent people dying? I didn't agree with what he was doing but I couldn't tell anyone, I was too scared of what would happen to him. I pleased with him to stop and he promised he would."

He was surprised by her reaction. She had seemed genuinely horrified by John's behaviour, could she possibly be telling the truth after all? 

"Your lover doesn't deserve you, you're far too loyal."

"I told you, he's not my lover."

"You don't need to lie to me baby, I'm not jealous."

"I'm not lying."

"You think I'm stupid?" he said angrily. She was so convincing when she denied any sort of relationship with John, that he had almost fallen for her lies again. She probably cared nothing for the people who had almost died because of John's activities.

"No, of course not." Her hand shook as she took a long drink of champagne, holding onto the glass tightly when she had finished. She wondered why he was so angry all of a sudden.

"Put the glass down" he ordered. He leaned towards her, and she flinched. "You haven't learned have you?" he said. "Look at me." 

Her terrified eyes met his. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Whatever I want."

He reached out and touched her face, almost gently. His lips touched her forehead, and he pulled her closer, kissing her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, feeling her trembling in his arms. He kissed her lips, gently at first, then harder, trying to force his tongue in her mouth. He felt her struggle.

"Stop fighting me" he ordered, and began to kiss her again. Reluctantly, she let him part her lips and slide his tongue in her mouth, kissing her deeply. "Kiss me back" he whispered, when he paused for breath. She had no idea what to do but somehow instinct seemed to take over as she responded to his kisses. He pushed her back on the sofa and began to push her dress up. She was terrified now that he didn't just intend to use her as he had before. She'd known in the back of her mind there was a possibility he would want sex, but she hadn't allowed herself to think about what she would do. She had to get out of it somehow; no way could she lose her virginity like this. Not when she'd saved herself, not when she wanted it to be special.

"Are you going to...do I have to sleep with you?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it sleeping. I've got less than 24 hours with you and I intend to make the most of every second."

"Can't I just do what I did before?"

He laughed. "You want to suck me baby? I'm flattered."

"Yes" she said; anything to stop him taking her virginity.

"Ask me nicely then."

"Please can I..." she stopped, she couldn't say the words. 

"You want my cock in your mouth baby?"

"Yes", she felt totally humiliated now.

"You want me to come in your mouth?"

"Yes."

"Did you like it?" he asked. "You can be honest, I won't be angry."

She blushed. "Sort of" she admitted.

Despite the situation, there was part of her that had actually enjoyed pleasing him in this way. She'd always thought it would be so horrible and disgusting, but it seemed so natural, and she had even been flattered by his compliments. 

"Better than with John?"

"I never did it with him," she replied. 

"Why not?"

"I never wanted to." There was no point telling him again that John wasn't her boyfriend, it only seemed to make him angry. God knows what lies he had been telling about her.

"But you want to with me?" He smiled.

She blushed and said nothing. 

"Sera, I asked you a question."

"Yes, in a way I suppose I do."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"No I don't. Tell me."

"Please, I'm embarrassed."

"Tell me, Sera," he demanded.

"The same reason I flirted with you," she replied, blushing again.

"So why did you protest so much? Was it because of John?"

"No, I'd never done it before; I always thought it would be disgusting, but it was ok, the only thing I hated was being forced to do it."

"Really? You'd never done it? You were good."

"I was so scared I'd do something wrong or be sick."

"It was perfect. You think you can do it that well again?"

"I'll try."

He grabbed her hand, placing it on the front of his jeans. "Feel how hard you make me" he ordered. Slowly, reluctantly, she stroked him through his jeans until he stopped her and unfastened his jeans. 

"Feel my cock again baby." 

She touched him hesitantly with just the tips of her fingers, surprised at how warm and silky he felt. She wondered if she should tell him it was the first time she had ever touched a man, but then he would realise she was a virgin, and he would probably make her have sex with him. She knew that was one of the reasons John wanted her so much, and she had no reason to suspect that Carlos would be any different.

"How do you like to be touched?" she asked, uncertain what to do.

"I'm sure whatever you do will be good," he replied.

She had never liked watching porn films with John and his crowd, but now she was glad she had. If not, she would have had no idea how to do the things that Carlos wanted. He found her soft caresses incredibly erotic and it felt even better when she took him in her mouth again. He was already dreading giving her freedom the next day. Why didn't he say 2 days, a week, a month? He groaned as he felt her tongue. Hell, he could keep her for a lifetime and not get bored.

Maybe he should invite her to stay as his mistress he thought as she took him deeper in her throat, even deeper than he had forced her in the cells. 

She felt more confident now, as she stopped and then kissed and licked teasingly before slowly taking him back in her mouth. 

"You're driving me crazy" he said, his voice husky with desire. She slid her lips up and down kissing and licking again. "Tease" he said softly.

She stopped, worrying that she was doing something wrong. "Is it ok?" she asked nervously.

"OK? It's incredible."

He was breathing hard and she could tell he was close to coming. She pulled back so she could stroke him with her hand. When she felt he was about to come, she quickly took him in her mouth again, sucking hard, wanting to feel him coming down her throat. He loved the fact that she seemed to be enjoying what she was doing, he'd felt so guilty when she'd cried in the cell, and then again when she had admitted it was her first time giving oral. 

Sera felt like she was in some kind of spell. She had wanted to please him, wanted to feel him coming in her mouth, wanted to swallow every drop. What was happening to her, she wondered. How could she actually enjoy doing such a vile act to this brutal stranger? 

Afterwards he stroked her hair gently. She lay in his arms, feeling almost relaxed. The worst was over, and it hadn't even been bad. She was prepared to do it all night if he wanted, tomorrow she would be on her way back to her family and freedom.

"There's a bathroom across the hall if you want to freshen up," he said, "and don't get any ideas about escaping, the front door is locked." 

"Thanks." She brushed her teeth and re applied her lipstick, not that she thought it would be staying on for long.

When she came back, he had poured more champagne. "Are you hungry?"

Food had been the last thing in her mind, but then she realised she hadn't had a proper meal since lunchtime. "A bit," she admitted.

"We can go out if you like," he said, "but if you try to escape or make contact with anyone, the deal's off. Can I trust you to behave?" He looked deep into her eyes.

"Yes, you have my word. Why would I risk escaping if I can go tomorrow?"



Shattered Dreams Ch. 03



Janey walked to the doorway of the games room and looked in to where Robby and Adam were seated at the table in the corner. She knew she had to do what she was about to do to enable herself to move on and put the events of the past weeks behind her.

Adam looked up at the sound of her footsteps and smiled encouragingly at her.

"Hi Janey. Did you want something?" Adam asked in his quiet voice.

Janey trembled slightly as she held eye contact with Adam for several seconds before looking away from him.

"I... I'll try to look at those photos," Janey said uneasily.

"Would you like to come over here and sit down?" Adam asked as he indicated the empty chairs.

Robby dragged his attention away from the report he was reading and lifted his head to watch Janey walk into the room uneasily. He smiled reassuringly as she took a seat across from him and looked down at her hands in her lap.

"We'll start with the same book as last time," Adam said as he moved around beside her and placed the book in front of her; he began to turn the pages steadily. When he turned the page to where Janey had left last time she flinched visibly and cleared her throat nervously.

"I recognise him ... him ... and him." She said softly as she pointed out the pictures of Seth, Roy and Zane.

"Do you know their names?" Adam asked softly.

"Seth, Roy and Zane." Janey said as she pointed to each one in turn.

"Where do you recognise them from Janey?" Robby asked gently.

"From in Melbourne and before then," She muttered as she looked away.

"Can you tell me what happened in Melbourne?" Robby probed.

"I was heading to the bus depot to catch the bus to Sydney when someone grabbed me from behind. It was Seth.." Janey said as she pointed at Seth. " I heard him, Roy.." this time Janey pointed out Roy ".speak and then I got slammed against a wall and passed out. Later, after I woke up and Zane was there too."

"You said you recognised them from before Melbourne?" Robby said softly.

"Yes." Janey said after a few moments, she had her eyes focused on one of her hands where it sat on the table beside the book.

"Where did you meet them?" Robby asked after she was silent for several minutes.

"At the house," Janey mumbled.

"What house?" Adam asked.

"Where I got took after I tried to run away and they decided to leave the cabin," Janey said faintly.

"What happened at the house? How did you meet them?" Robby insisted.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Janey shook her head as she tucked her hands in her armpits and hugged herself.

"Are you sure you knew them before?" Robby asked. As much as he wanted to slam the book shut and never make his little sister look at it ever again he knew he needed to press for as much information as he could get her to reveal to help make a case against the men.

"Seth raped me, his friends helped him." Janey said bitterly. 

There! It was out! She thought to herself. She couldn't bring herself to look at her brother. She didn't want to see the sympathy or sorrow or sadness he might have in his eyes.

Adam and Robby exchanged glances. Now they knew why she had been so loath to look at the pictures.

There was silence for a few minutes as Adam quickly made notes in his notebook. Once he was finished he cleared his throat signalling to Robby to continue with his questions.

Robby wanted to hug his sister and promise her that these men could never hurt her again but he was afraid he would shatter her hard won composure.

"Look at some more pictures and see if you know anyone else," Robby said as he turned the page. 

Janey remained silent through the rest of the book and when it was finished Adam moved it and placed another book in front of her.

"You mentioned to one of the nurses something about motorbikes. Here are some pictures of known bikers. Tell me if you recognise any. Maybe you saw one of them talking to the man who abducted you." Adam said soothingly when Janey flinched at the sound of his voice. He didn't tell her that some of the men in the pictures he was about to show her were suspected of being involved in selling drugs and in some cases possible sex slavery.

"I want a drink." Janey protested. 'They know what happened to me! They know all of it!' she thought in a panic as she realised he must have read some kind of report to know about what she had said.

"What would you like?" Robby asked as he got to his feet. "Coke? Coffee? Water?"

As soon as the words left Robby's lips Janey immediately thought to herself 'Coke and coffee would be no good for the baby.' Startled by the thought she jerked her head up to look at her brother.

"Which would you like?" Robby smiled at her, he could count the number of times he had seen her look anyone in the face since getting home on one hand.

"Tea please," Janey said after a moment's consideration. She couldn't help but notice the proud smile on Robby's face and she gave a nervous smile before looking away.

"I know just how you like your tea. And I think I'll bring in something for us all to eat." He announced as he headed for the door.

Janey sat staring off into space. 'The baby' she thought uneasily. The child that had been forced onto her just as Hawk and the others had forced themselves onto her. She looked down at her hands in her lap and realised that they were folded protectively over her stomach. With a start she realised she felt protective of the baby she had not known had existed until the previous day. 

The child she carried was just as much a victim of what had happened as she was. She had to be strong for the sake of the baby, she had to do all she could to protect it and herself.

"Show me more pictures." Janey forced herself to say as she glanced at Adam and gave him a nervous smile.

Adam looked down at Janey once again thinking that it was a shame he was working on her case at the moment because if he had met her socially he would be quick to ask her out. He turned his attention back to the book in front of her and began to turn the pages slowly. He didn't want to look at her and admire her beautiful face, watch her expressive eyes and chance scaring her by his obvious male attention. He felt his body begin to react to her movements and forced his gaze away from her mouth. She's a victim he reminded himself. She didn't need him reacting like a randy teenager he told himself as he glanced towards the doorway as he heard someone approaching the room.

"Tea or coffee all round and some of Mum's chocolate chip biscuits," Robby announced as he came back into the room carrying a tray with three cups and a plate on it. He stopped beside Janey and handed out the cups making sure to give his sister the tea she had asked for and then he placed the plate within easy reach for her.

Janey was sipping her hot tea when Adam sat in the chair beside her and turned a page in the book. She spotted a photo with Matty and Brent in it. "I know them." Janey said as she pointed out the photo.

"What can you tell us about them?" Robby asked gently.

"Hmm, they never hurt me. They were mostly nice." Janey said softly. She didn't want to bring them into it but knew she had to.

"Do you know their names?" Robby asked.

Janey took a deep breath and pointed at first one then the other with a hand that shook badly. "That is Matty and he's Brent."

Robby grabbed the pen and paper Adam had been using, noted the page and the photo number then wrote down what Janey had said.

"Any others on those two pages?" Adam asked.

"Don't know any of 'em," Janey said as she reached for a biscuit.

Adam began turning pages again glancing between pages at Janey's face.

A page was turned and Ren was in one of the pictures. Janey put her hand on the page and her fingertips touched his picture gently. After a moment she lifted her hand and turned the page herself. She smiled at the picture of Brad and Ren. Brad was caught in the act of grabbing Ren from behind and lifting Ren off his feet. 

"That's Ren. Renagade. He bought me my ticket home. He tried to stop the guy who grabbed me from hurting me all the time. But it just made him meaner when there wasn't anyone else there," She said. "That big guy is Brad. He tried to stop Hawk hurting me too." Janey said. She didn't notice Robby making notes as she spoke.

Adam reached over and turned the page and Janey recoiled as she saw Wilson in a group of three men.

"Him!" Her hand was shaking badly and she quickly tucked her hands under her arms as she shuddered. "Wilson." 

"Would you prefer to talk to a female officer about some of this stuff?" Adam asked gently.

Janey bobbed her head in agreement as she continued to shake.

"Do you want to continue? Or leave it until you can talk to a female officer?" Adam asked gently.

"I just want to get it over and done with!" Janey said almost desperately. 

Adam turned the page, waited a while then turned it again. Near the end of the book he turned the page and Janey drew in a harsh breath.

"Those two! That's Hawk! He was the one who took me from the camping ground... The other one is Jake. Afterwards he held me down...so Hawk could rape me." Janey's voice had trailed off until it was almost inaudible.

Adam turned the page to display the last photos, there was no further reaction from Janey and at last the book was closed.

"Janey would you give a statement to a female police officer about those men?" Robby asked gently.

Janey nodded jerkily without looking at either of the men.

"How about if Adam and I take you into town now and you can talk to one of the female officers?" Robby offered.

"Does it have to be now?" Janey asked faintly.

The sooner you talk to an officer the sooner it is behind you," Robby told her gently.

"Okay." Janey said so softly it was nearly inaudible.

* * * * *

Marina was waiting anxiously for Robby and Adam to return home with Janey. They had left mid afternoon and it was now after dark. Over four hours had passed and Marina was worried for Janey who looked very pale and stressed when they left. When the sound of a vehicle coming up the driveway reached her ears she went to the front door to look out hoping it was Robby's car. Recognising the familiar car as that of Robby's she felt a rush of relief as she headed back inside to dish up the evening meal.

"Where's Janey?" Marina asked when Robby and Adam walked into the kitchen without his sister.

"She has gone to her room to lie down. She says she is tired and doesn't want anything to eat." Robby said.

"I'll just fix her a tray and take it to her." Marina said as she turned to the cupboard and reached for one of the many trays.

"Mum, I think you had best leave her be. She gave quite a detailed statement to some officers and the officers are working on some warrants as we speak. Janey really needs time to herself right now." Robby said.

"She still needs to eat!" Marina said as she placed Janey's plate and cutlery on the tray along with a cup of coffee.

Robby could only watch as his mother ignored his advice and headed to Janey's room.

"How did it go?" Adam asked as he pulled out a chair. He had taken himself off the case after handing over his notes from when Janey had identified the men who had assaulted her in Melbourne. He told the sargent at the station he was becoming too personally involved to remain objective.

"Where are Marina and Janey?" Jim asked as he came into the kitchen.

"Janey is lying down and Mum has taken her a tray." James said with a glance at Robby who was clearly annoyed that his mother had not left their sister alone.

"I'll be glad when this family gets back to normal," Jim said.

Marina returned without the tray and sat down at the table. She glanced around at the four men at the table. Caro had rung to let her know that she was going out on a date and wouldn't be home until late.

Everyone set about eating with healthy appetites and Adam glanced at Robby still waiting for an answer. Robby shook his head and lifted his hand as if looking at his watch and Adam nodded as he got the message that they would talk later.

When the meal was finished James volunteered to get the tray from Janey's room and headed off to do just that. He knocked lightly and when there was no answer he opened the door a crack to look in. He could see Janey sprawled out on the bed on her stomach asleep.

"Janey, I'm coming in to get the tray," James said in a normal voice and Janey woke with a start, turned her head to look his way and then closed her eyes once again.

James walked into the room and got the doona off the floor where it had fallen and covered his sister with it before picking up the tray and leaving the room. He paused in the doorway to turn out the light before shutting the door on his way out.

In the kitchen Marina took in the untouched state of the tray with a frown but said nothing as she continued to clean up after the meal. James left the kitchen and headed outside where he could hear his brother and his mate talking.

"Hey so what have you been doing today?" James asked as he stopped near them.

"Managed to get Janey to see some sense. She looked at some mug shots and identified some people. There's a Detective from Brisbane in town working on getting warrants out after talking with Janey this afternoon. Janey say anything to you when you collected her tray?" Robby asked.

"No, why?" James queried.

"Just wondering." Robby replied. He had overheard Janey as she cried while talking to the Detective and heard Janey saying she found out the previous day that she was pregnant. It wasn't his place to tell any of their family but secretly he hoped that she would do the smart thing and get an abortion so she could try to get her life back together again. He would hate to see her forced to remember what she went through everytime she looked at the baby. He figured that the first person, the most likely person, she would tell about her pregnancy would be James.

"Maybe now she has taken that step hopefully she will start to get over whatever happened soon." James said.

"It will take a long while." Adam said. "First those she identified will be arrested and charged. Then comes the hard part. If they plead guilty to the charges Janey doesn't need to go to court, the judge will just sentence them. If they don't plead guilty then the shit really starts. Janey identified nine or ten men I think it was. If one or even worse two plead not guilty then she has to go to court and it will be her word against his or theirs. She will be made to testify about what happened and the council for the defence will try to tear her apart."

There was silence for several minutes as what Adam had said hit home. The men resumed talking amongst themselves with the topic of conversation quickly changed and eventually it got to a woman James had started to see in the last two weeks.

* * * * *

Janey woke the next morning and frowned at the overcast sky she could see out her window. She took her time before getting out of bed and getting dressed to go to the kitchen for breakfast.

"You're up bright and early this morning!" Adam said with a smile as Janey wandered into the kitchen.

"Janey usually is up before this. She's my early bird." Marina said with a smile for her daughter.

Janey sat down in her usual chair and managed a quick glance across the table at Adam. He smiled at her and she looked away as she waited for warm toast to pop up from the toaster.

"How are you this morning Blonde One?" James asked as he walked into the kitchen. He had always teased his two younger sisters by calling them Blonde One and Older One.

Janey froze at the sound of the familiar name. It was oh so close to another name and she suddenly realised that she missed being called Blondie. She shrugged off the feeling and reached for the toast her mother put on a plate fresh from the toaster.

"Hungry." Janey said with a frown when James pretended to reach for a piece of toast she had already claimed for herself.

Robby laughed at the familiar banter and earned a quick glance from Janey. "Someone had better go wake Caro up before Janey eats all the toast," He said with a half smile.

Janey stopped buttering her toast to look at her brother.

"Go on, eat your food. Don't just play with it!" Robby teased.

"Leave your sister alone!" Marina admonished.

"What's going on in here?" Jim asked as he entered the kitchen through the back door.

"The boys are picking on me and there are three of them now!" Janey immediately pouted like a little child. She had to struggle to contain the smile that threatened to curve her lips.

"I am sure you're more than a match for the three of them!" Jim laughed at the sight of his daughter trying to keep the pout around a mouthful of toast. He sat at the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. It made his heart lighter to see the Janey of old as she reacted to her brother's teasing.

Janey stopped eating as the strong smell of coffee reached her from the cup beside her. She swallowed several times fighting the sudden nausea and then thankfully her stomach decided to settle down and accept the food she was eating.

"Anybody know what time Caro got in last night?" Marina asked as she placed a plate with sausages, bacon and fried eggs in front of her husband.

"I never heard her. But she is in my room." Janey said as she reached for a second piece of toast.

"Will you be able to make it back here this afternoon or will you head off to your place from in town?" Marina asked Robby and Adam.

"We'll be heading off about mid afternoon." Robby said with an apologetic look at his mother. "I would love to visit longer but I need to get back to my station and Adam needs to get back to his section at work."

"Make sure you don't leave here this morning before I give you the baking I did for you. There are scones, jam drops and ginger cake." Marina informed her son.

"Yes Marm!" Robby said with a smile knowing his mother would insist on sending cooking with him.

When Janey was finished her food she got up and began to help her mother clear away the dirty dishes. Without being asked she set about washing up those plates that were stacked on the sink. 

By the time Caro came in she was dressed for work and rushing to grab some toast as she was running late. "Must go. Talk to you this afternoon." Caro said and hurried out the back door towards where her car would be parked.

"Looks like everyone is busy today." Marina said with a smile at her youngest daughter. "What do you want to do today?"

Janey was silent for several moments as she wiped her hands on a hand towel before turning to face her mother. Overnight she had decided she would confide in her mother about her pregnancy. She knew she would need the full support of her parents in the months to come.

Marina studied the faint shadows of emotion that flickered across her daughter's face. As well as she knew Janey, this young woman standing in her kitchen was so different, so changed as to hardly seem familiar at times. And now, with the closed expression, the suppressed emotions that hardly showed at all Marina very nearly did not recognise her own daughter.

"Can we sit down? I need to talk to you Mum." Janey said as she met her mother's gaze.

"Sure Darling. I'm here any time you need to talk to me." Marina said reassuringly as she reached for a seat.

When Marina was seated Janey took a seat on the opposite side of the table and glanced across the table at her mother, she looked away before speaking. "The day before yesterday, when I had to go in and see Dr Michaels. And I had to get that blood test redone because the sample got dropped... well that's not why. The tests showed I'm pregnant. Now I was thinking real hard about it yesterday and last night, and I want to have the baby. I want to have it and keep it." Janey rushed to tell her mother before she lost her courage.




Shattered Dreams Ch. 03



Marina sat looking at her daughter silently for several moments; the news came as a shock. She had been terrified that the need for more tests had meant that there was a threat to Janey's health, but a baby! Slowly a smile spread across Marina's face.

"Maybe this is not the way I dreamed of becoming a Grandmother but I can promise you I will still love my Grandchild!" Marina said happily.

Janey looked at her mother guardedly and then slowly a smile came to her face as she saw the sincerity of her mother's words.

"Do you know what date the baby is due?" Marina asked with a soft smile.

"I'm not sure and I have another appointment with Dr Michaels today." Janey said.

"Would you like me to come into the doctor's office with you today?" Marina asked gently.

"Would you?" Janey asked with a nervous smile.

"I'll be happy to support you in anyway you need." Marina assured her as she got to her feet. She moved around the table until she stood beside her daughter's chair. "How about a hug?" Marina asked as Janey glanced at her.

Janey got to her feet and happily accepted the hug and kiss on the cheek Marina lavished on her.

"Hey! What are my girls up to today?" Jim asked as he entered the kitchen by the backdoor carrying an armful of firewood for the fireplace in the lounge room. He paused a moment but when he realised that he had apparently interrupted something he glanced down at the firewood he held in his arms then looked at Marina and Janey. He noticed that both of them had tears in their eyes. The sight of his wife and child upset tore at his heart but he feared there was nothing he could do. "I'll take this firewood through to the lounge room and leave you two to talk in peace." Jim said gravely and headed from the room.

Marina waited until Jim was out of hearing range before turning to Janey. "How long before you tell your father the good news?" She asked gently.

"He'll be so disappointed." Janey said sadly as she looked down at her hands as she twisted the hem of her shirt nervously.

"I think you will find your father is a lot more understanding than you give him credit for." Marina told her softly.

Janey shrugged and glanced at her mother. "Would you stay with me while I tell him?" she asked faintly.

"Of course I will." Marina said as she reached out and took hold of Janey's hands to stop her twisting her shirt. They both could hear the sound of footsteps as Jim approached the kitchen and Marina looked at Janey's down turned face once again. "Do you want me to tell him for you?" She asked her daughter gently.

Janey nodded without looking at her mother and glanced nervously at the doorway as her father paused at the sight of them.

"Come in and sit down for a minute Jim." Marina said quietly.

Jim looked from his wife to his daughter who stood with her head down without even looking his way. Fearing bad news after the repeat visit to the doctor the day before yesterday he sat down with a heavy heart.

"Janey has some news for you." Marina said levelly.

Jim glanced from the tears on Marina's cheeks to Janey's down cast head and nervously twisting hands. "Oh my God, I was afraid of something like this!" Jim said huskily fearing for Janey's health.

"How does being a Grandfather sound to you?" Marina asked softly. She watched as shock wiped her husband's face blank and he stood up as his gaze turned to Janey.

"Janetta's not ill? Those bastards haven't given my little girl some disease? A Grand..." His voice trailed off as the colour came back into his face and suddenly he was around beside his wife and daughter. Before he thought he snatched Janey up and swung her around in a circle as he gave a happy yell.

Janey tensed as her father lifted her feet from the floor and spun her around as he had when she was a small child. She looked down into his face; it was the familiar face of the father that would never knowingly hurt her. She gave a nervous laugh and then he was placing her on her feet.

"About the father..." Jim started.

"He is never going to be a part of my life or my baby's!" Janey said desperately as she backed away from her father hurriedly. She knew that the baby was most likely Hawk's and she had no intention of ever letting him near her again.

"I was about to say not to fret about him not being around. That baby is going to have a Grandfather and two uncles to show it right from wrong!" Jim said then looked at his daughter. "Making me a Grandfather!"

"I'm sorry! I don't mean to disappoint you!" Janey said as tears welled in her eyes.

"You haven't disappointed me! I am disappointed FOR you that things have happened this way but I am not disappointed in you. In fact I am very very proud of the way you are facing up to what happened and not letting those scum bags get away with anything!" Jim said.

Janey looked up into her father's face and saw the unconditional love shining from his eyes. She realised then that she had not disappointed him when she had been unable to avoid what had been done to her. As much as she loved her mother she also had always wanted to live up to the expectations of both her parents, especially her father who had tried to teach both his sons and daughters the moral values he held so strongly.

For the first time since Janey had returned Jim saw the fear in Janey's eyes for what it was. She was not afraid of him but rather she was afraid of what she thought that he would think of her. He opened his arms to her and smiled gently at her. " Where is the most wonderful daughter a man could ever want? Do you have a hug for your father?" 

Janey let out a sob and flung her arms around her father's neck. She felt his arms encircle her as he returned her hug.

"It's good to have you back." Jim said when he finally released Janey. "Those five weeks you were gone, well I don't think there is any way I can describe the anguish we went through knowing you would never have run away and yet not being able to convince the police it was so."

"I'm so happy to be home!" Janey said and threw her arms around her father's neck to hug him once again. She felt her mother's arms encircle her and then her father was hugging them both.



Shattered Dreams Ch. 04



Carlos picked up the phone and spoke to someone in his own language. The official language used on the island was Spanish, and Sera understood a few words, but she understood nothing of the ancient language that Carlos was speaking now. As she went to sit in one of the chairs, he stopped her and pulled her down on the sofa next to him. She started to drink her champagne, hoping it would calm her nerves.

"We're leaving in about half an hour," he said, when he had put the phone down. "Just in case you were thinking of asking anyone for help, no one can help you. They might be a bit pissed off at me but they can't stop me. And believe me babe if you make anyone pissed off at me, I'm going to be even more pissed off at you. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Good." He picked up a remote control and the cd player turned on. "Do you want a cigarette?"

"No thanks, I don't smoke."

"More champagne?"

"No." She was shaking, afraid of what he might do.

"Look babe, you might as well relax until after dinner. I'm getting myself another drink, do you want one or not?"

"A soft drink if you have one, lemon or something. Thanks."

He left the room and she finally relaxed. She felt so confused by what had happened to her, and by her own reactions. She had enjoyed his kisses, even though they were hardly the gentle romantic kisses she had imagined she would share one day with someone who loved and respected her. But what really made her feel ashamed was that if she had not been attracted to Carlos, even his threats wouldn't have been enough to make her give him oral sex. She hadn't wanted to do it, not the first time anyway, but she'd done it because to her, he was the most attractive man she had ever seen. And the second time she had done it, there was something exciting about being able to give pleasure to such a good looking man. The strange thing was that the thought of giving oral sex to anyone apart from Carlos still disgusted her.

He returned with her glass of lemonade. "What are you thinking babe, you were miles away."

She was too embarrassed to tell him. "I was thinking about my family, I miss them."

"Well you'll see them soon enough if you do what I want." He sat on the sofa next to her and put his arm round her, feeling her tense up as soon as he touched her. "Sera, I told you to relax."

"I'm sorry. I thought you weren't going to make me do anything until we got back. I can't relax if I don't know what's going to happen." Her voice shook and she looked down at the floor. "I can't help being scared when you touch me, please don't be angry."

"Sera, look at me." Reluctantly, her eyes met his and he reached out and stroked her face gently. "You are so beautiful and you don't even know it. When I'm with you I want to touch you so you might as well get used to it. You don't have to be scared; all you have to do is let me do what I want, act like you want it and not try to stop me. I don't expect anything else until we get back. Ok?"

"Yes." 

At first she only responded because she knew she had to, but then she realised how much she needed the comfort of being held, and instinctively cuddled up to him. She felt almost disappointed when the bell rang on the intercom. "I wish we had more time," he said as he went to answer the door. "You turn me on so much; I can't wait to get you back"

Sera realised that she was almost looking forward to it too now she was sure that she wouldn't have to have sex with him. If only she could stop being so scared of him.

Carlos returned, with one of the men who Sera recognised as having been at the taverna earlier. He too had long dark hair and a similar bone structure to Carlos, but was younger, maybe her age. His eyes were green and whereas Carlos looked dangerous, the younger man had a friendly smile. He held his hand out.

"Hi, I'm Angel" he said, pronouncing it the English way. "You must be Sera, I saw you earlier."

"Hi Angel, nice to meet you." Sera usually felt shy around new people but there was something about Angel's warm smile that reassured her. She looked from Angel to Carlos and back again. "Are you...?"

"Brothers, worse luck" said Angel. "Bloody moody bastard he is."

"Shut up," said Carlos, but he was looking amused. Sera hoped that he would sit in the front, but instead he got in the back with her. As she thought, he did not waste the opportunity. Almost as soon as Angel started driving, Sera felt Carlos touching her bare leg, his hand moving up under her skirt. She could not help a soft moan of distress.

Angel heard her and sighed. What the hell was his brother doing? He knew why Carlos was such an angry person, but to take it out on this girl who seemed so sweet wasn't like him at all. 

"What's going on?" he asked Carlos in their own language.

"Nothing that's any of your business" replied Carlos. 

"She seems a really nice girl. I can't believe what John said about her."

"What was that?"

"He reckons she knew all about him spying and wasn't bothered."

"Really? That's interesting." Carlos smiled. Angel had just given him an idea how he could keep Sera for longer. When Angel stopped in a run down area of town, Carlos took out his mobile phone, the first one Sera had seen since she arrived at the island, and called the interrogation centre. "Have the rest of Sera's things brought to my house, put them in the room next to mine," he said.

Sera wondered how she could encourage Carlos to talk, There seemed to be a lot of anger in him, most of which seemed to be directed at her. She was curious about him and at the same time she wondered if talking to her would make him less angry and more willing to let her go. "Angel seems nice" she said. "Are you close?"

"Yeah, my dad was away a lot when I was growing up. My brother and sister are younger than me so I felt I had to look after them and my mum."

"It must have been difficult."

He laughed bitterly. "Babe, you have no idea."

Angel returned with a hard looking blonde, who smiled at Carlos and gave Sera a dismissive look. 

A few minutes later they stopped at the taverna, and Sera shivered, this was where her nightmare had begun. "Maybe it wasn't the best idea in the world to bring you here" said Carlos "but I have some business to take care of. Angel will look after you." 

The owner greeted Sera, Carlos and Angel warmly, and Ana rather less warmly. He and Carlos disappeared inside the restaurant. "He seems to know you well" Sera said to Angel.

"Yes. Harry's know our family for ages. He came over from Cyprus years ago to help fight against the old government then he met Donna and decided to stay. Rosa is their daughter." He laughed as Sera pulled a face. "Rosa is the black sheep. She's got a bit of a thing about Carlos. What's going on with you two by the way?"

Sera wanted to confide in Angel, but she was sure that he would be loyal to his brother. Besides, nothing worse was going to happen to her. "It's complicated," she said, "but he doesn't like me very much."

"I got the opposite impression. Sera, my brother is very bitter and angry, but he has his reasons. It's up to him to tell you if he wants, but please don't judge him harshly."

Sera was about to speak when she heard her name being called. Miranda, Harry and Donna's 5 year old granddaughter was running towards her.

"Sera I made you a birthday card." She handed Sera a card with an unidentifiable scribble on it.

"Thanks sweetie," said Sera, hugging her. She never thought of herself as being particularly child friendly, but Miranda had taken a shine to her and Sera was becoming fond of the little girl. She knew that Harry and Donna's daughter and son were dead, and that Miranda lived with her father's parents. "It's gorgeous, I love it."

Angel picked up the card. "I didn't realise you knew Miranda."

"Yes, and I know Miranda loves being tickled." Miranda gave a shriek and Sera started chasing her. Ana flicked her hair and looked bored.

Spending time with Miranda was helping Sera get rid of the tensions of the day. As the two of them ran and laughed, she hoped the little girl would grow up to be as happy as she was now, and that no man would ever use Miranda the way she was being used.

"Where's Sera?" demanded Carlos when he had finished talking to Harry. Angel pointed to the play area, where Sera and Miranda were on the swings laughing. 

"What's she doing here?" 

"She had a card for Sera. Donna obviously thought it wouldn't do any harm."

Carlos walked angrily to the swings. Sera saw his expression and wondered what she had done wrong. "Food's ready," he snapped. Then his expression softened as he turned to Miranda. "Hey pest, it's past your bedtime. Come and say goodnight to everyone." He started speaking in Spanish to her. She nodded and then ran off to say goodnight to Angel.

"Donna told me about her daughter and son," said Sera. "Poor Miranda, it must be so sad for her to lose both her parents when she's so young."

Carlos looked angry again. "Do you know how they died?" he demanded.

"No, I'm sorry, have I said something wrong?"

"Forget it."

Miranda ran back to them breaking the silence. "Love you," she said as Carlos picked her up. "Love you more, pest," he replied. "You get some sleep now and maybe I'll bring Sera to see you again."

"Promise?"

"I promise. That's if Sera wants to see you."

Miranda pulled a face and ran off.

So Carlos did have a gentler side, thought Sera. It was obvious that Miranda adored him.

Carlos and Angel had ordered a selection of different dishes so that Sera could try them. Once Miranda had gone, Carlos seemed to be in a lighter mood and was almost behaving as if he and Sera were on a date, explaining about the different dishes, finding the best cuts of meat for her, and even feeding her off his plate. It almost felt to her as if the past few hours had been some terrible nightmare, and she wondered if this is what it would have been like if she had met Carlos the next day as they had originally planned. 

Angel did most of the talking, asking Sera about her family and her life in London, and more or less ignoring Ana. When Ana went to the bathroom he explained that Ana was only with him because his family was rich, and there was no affection between them. He felt he was too young to get involved with anyone seriously. Sera was surprised how relaxed she felt with Angel. She knew that part of the reason was that there was no sexual attraction at all between them, even though he was just as good looking as Carlos.

Sera felt disappointed when they left the restaurant, Carlos had been so different, and she really liked Angel, she felt that she had made a friend. In the back seat, Carlos cuddled her, but did nothing else. Maybe he was regretting his behaviour, maybe he would let her go.

Angel dropped them off at the house and gave Sera a hug. "I'm glad we met," he said. He wanted to find out what was happening and help her, but he was loyal to Carlos although he didn't always understand him.

It was still quite early. Sera went into the lounge and looked out at the view. There was a hot tub and a swimming pool outside, and a path leading down to a tiny cove. She looked at the hot tub longingly, she felt so tense after everything that had happened. 

"You want to go in?" asked Carlos.

"If that's ok."

"Sure, I'll just get a couple of towels." 

"Could I have one of my bikinis too?"

"If you insist." He felt amused, only hours ago she had given him what was probably the best blow job of his entire life, and she still seemed shy. He couldn't work her out at all, but he was pretty sure the sex was going to be interesting. 

Sera made no attempt to escape when Carlos left her on her own, she was almost beginning to relax with him. He returned with her most revealing bikini, finding it amusing again when she went to the downstairs bathroom to change. He was already in the tub when she got outside. He held out his hand to her and she stepped into the tub. She was nervous again, realising he was naked. 

He bent his head and kissed her neck, feeling the terrified beating of her pulse. What was wrong with him, he wondered. He'd had more than his fair share of women, but all more than willing. That was the way he'd always liked it. Why did this girl's fear not bother him, was he no better than the monsters this government had fought so hard to overthrow? It wasn't that he wanted her to be unwilling; it was more the fact that he wanted her so much that he didn't really care. 

He slid a hand over her bare stomach, cupping one of her breasts through the white bikini top. Panicking, she pulled away, turning away from him.

"I thought I told you not to fight me" he said.

"I'm sorry."

"You will be if it happens again" he warned. "Now, are you going to be good?"

She knew she was going to have to let him touch her, even though she felt so ashamed and embarrassed. "Yes."

He moved her hair out of the way and kissed the back of her neck, feeling her tremble again. Now both of his hands slid up over her stomach, and started stroking and squeezing her breasts. "That's better" he said huskily, and started to unfasten the ties that held the top together. Since she had her back to him, she allowed herself the luxury of tears. She had no idea he would want to touch her like this. He pulled the top off her, and continued kissing her bare shoulders. Soon she felt his hands on her naked breasts, stroking them, rubbing and squeezing at her nipples. To her shame, it felt good, if only Carlos was someone she was involved with and not some stranger who was just using her, she would have wanted this to happen. Carlos felt Sera's nipples harden under his fingers, and smiled.

"Does that feel good baby?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

He laughed. "You're lying again" he said softly, and squeezed her breasts roughly so that they almost hurt. Almost, but not quite.

He turned her round to face him and instinctively she tried to cover herself. He grabbed her wrists. "Let me look at you" he ordered. 

"You're beautiful," he said, staring at her breasts. "So beautiful." He began to caress her gently, then started kissing her. Now she felt more relaxed with him, she let herself go and kissed him back, and as they continued kissing she forgot the situation, forgot everything, lost in his kisses, never wanting them to stop. She was unaware of him untying the laces of her bikini bottoms, but suddenly realised he was pulling them off her. She broke the kiss and tried to twist her body away, frightened and confused.

"Keep still" he ordered. "I don't want to have to tell you again."

"What are you doing?"

"Shh baby, I want to make you feel good," he said, moving his hand between her legs.

"No" she whispered. 

"Sera, what did I tell you about refusing me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm really nervous. Please don't be angry with me."

"Stop fighting me then."

Oh god, he was going to touch her and there was nothing she could do about it. She flinched as she felt him begin to stroke her gently. He began to kiss her again, maybe if she could concentrate on the kiss it would take her mind off what he was doing to her. But to her shock it felt good. She moaned softly, what was happening to her? It felt just like that dream she'd had. She moaned again, her body arching against his fingers. He kissed her deeply, stroking her slightly faster. 

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No." She felt ashamed for responding but she couldn't help it.

"You want to come?"

"Yes."

He smiled. "Beg for it then."

"No!" No way would she humiliate herself like that. 

Instead of stopping, he began to stroke her more slowly again. It was torture, she was so close, she couldn't stand it.

"Please" she said. "Please don't stop." She hated herself for giving in.

"Look at me baby, I want to see your eyes when I make you come."

Their eyes met and she saw the look of satisfaction on his face, that he had reduced her to begging him to touch her. 

"You want it don't you baby."

"Oh god you sadistic bastard, please let me come." 

He laughed, stroking her faster, looking into her eyes.

She had never felt like this, such tension, such pleasure and it was getting more and more intense, as she writhed against him, looking into his dark eyes, what was happening, it was too much too intense, it had never felt like this before, and she was begging him again, please, please, but she didn't care, she needed this like she had never needed anything before and she was screaming, her body shaking and almost collapsing against him and he was holding her and kissing her gently.

"Oh..my...GOD" she muttered. What the hell had just happened?



Shattered Dreams Ch. 04



When a woman becomes pregnant the timing of the pregnancy is commenced from the last period BEFORE concept. So when a woman misses her first period, two weeks after conception, she is said to be 4 weeks pregnant. 

I hope this note helps readers be aware of the passage of time in this chapter.

SHATTERED DREAMS - PART FOUR

Nearly four weeks had passed since Janey had told her mother that she was pregnant. One of the first things her father had insisted was that she attend counselling. He insisted that she needed to take care of her own well-being so she would be able to look after her child. He said that they would help her in any way she needed but as it was her child it was her responsibility first.

Janey had not told her brothers and sister about her pregnancy since she wasn't quite ready to face their reactions. She wasn't aware that Robby had overheard her speaking to one of the female officers about her pregnancy.

Janey was now close to twelve weeks pregnant and starting to show slightly. She had regained the weight she had lost during her abduction as well as filling out slightly in the bust. The only evidence of her pregnancy was a slight roundness low in her stomach just above her pelvis. So far she had not suffered with any morning sickness but she did dislike the smell of coffee while she was eating.

After her second counselling session she had her long hair cut short in an attractive feathered style that framed her face. She felt the need to remove the attraction of her long blonde hair. She had hoped to loose the sexy blonde look but her haircut only succeeded in transforming her from a sexy young blonde girl to a sophisticated young woman. While Janey wasn't completely satisfied with the result she soon decided she liked her new look.

Twice in the four weeks Adam came to Byron Bay for the day on a weekend claiming he had decided to visit the beach and each time he had dropped in to see the Wilkinsons. It soon became clear that he was really dropping in to see Janey and although she was quite shy and hesitant the first visit she had definitely warmed to him on his second visit.

When Robby rang and told their parents about a counselling week being held for victims of rape he convinced his father that it would be a good idea for Janey to attend the five days of counselling sessions as she would be coming into contact with other women who had been through similar ordeals to what she had endured. The only problem was that it was being held in Brisbane which made it a four hour round trip each day for Janey to go. So Robby offered for her to stay at his flat for the week and he would drive her back to their parents place at the end of the week.

Janey had been loath to go to the counselling sessions but her father had informed her that if she wished to keep her child then she owed it to herself and the baby to seek help in dealing with the aftermath of her ordeal. With very little choice in the matter because she still found it impossible to utter the word 'no' Janey resigned herself to going to the week long session, hoping that afterwards she would be more prepared to talk to her brothers and sister about their coming niece or nephew.

So on Sunday afternoon Jim and Marina drove to Brisbane with Janey planning to visit with Marina's cousin overnight and return the next day leaving Janey with Robby for the week. The drive was slow and cold due to a winter storm and Janey was relieved when the car stopped in front of the block of flats where her brother lived. She climbed out of the car pulling her two bags out behind her and stood on the sidewalk looking at the two rows of flats facing each other.

"Come on, let's get inside out of the cold." Jim said as he picked up Janey's bags.

Janey followed her parents as they headed up along one row of flats until they came to a door with a number 5 on it. She watched as her father knocked loudly and waited for a reply.

"I see you made it." Robby said as he opened his front door. He reached out and took his sister's bags from their father and led the way into the flat. He led the way to one of the bedrooms at the back of the flat and pushed the door open. He placed the bags on the end of the double bed in the room.

Janey glanced around the room noting that the bed was not made but sheets, blankets and doona sat on the bed.

"I meant to have the room ready but I got stuck down town at the Laundromat when I took the washing down to put through the dryer." Robby said.

"I can help Janey make the bed. It won't take a minute." Marina said as she walked over to the bed and placed the bags on the floor and out of the way.

Janey moved into the room to help her mother. Within minutes they had the bed made and had found a pillow on a chair by the window.

"There, that's better." Marina remarked as she smoothed a corner of the bed. "You'll be lost in this big bed." She smiled at Janey as she said it.

Janey looked away from the bed. The size of it reminded her of while she was with Hawk. It was strange how that happened she realised; sometimes it was the oddest thing that triggered the memories. Determined to escape the memories she feared would come, she hurried from the room only stopping when she reached the small kitchenette.

"Are you alright?" Marina asked with a worried frown as she followed Janey away from the bedroom.

Janey turned around and glanced back towards the bedroom as she opened her mouth to explain to her mother but she turned away once again as she saw her brother and father walking towards them.

"I'm just fine." Janey mumbled as she turned her attention to getting herself a glass of water from the sink tap. She took a sip of water and wrinkled her nose in disgust at the taste of the city's treated water.

"Don't like the water?" Robby asked as he saw her toss the rest of her drink into the sink.

"It's gross!" Janey said as she turned around to face the others, her face composed once again.

"I have a water filter-cooler in the laundry and keep the filtered water in a jug in the fridge." Robby told his sister as he opened the small fridge and motioned towards a jug of water.

Janey nodded without saying a word.

"We must really be going if we want to make it to Sandra's place in time to get ready to go out for tea." Marina said when she realised that Janey wasn't going to continue with what she had been about to say.

"Yes, we had better keep going." Jim said.

Janey gave her mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

"Take care of yourself." Marina said as she hugged her daughter in return.

Janey gave her a faint smile before turning to her father and being given a large hug.

"You make sure you take care of yourself, " He said to Janey before turning to Robby, " You look after your sister while she's here." Jim told his son sternly.

"Yes sir." Robby acknowledged the order.

Janey walked with her parents and Robby to the door and then waited in the doorway out of the light misting rain as her brother walked their parents to the car. She waved as they drove away then waited as Robby walked back to the flat quickly.

"Brrr, it's damp out there!" Robby said as he walked into the flat and shut the door behind him. He reached for a towel he had hanging in the entrance way and briskly dried the light drops of rain from his short hair.

"So what's new?" Robby asked as he led the way to the small living combined dining room where a lounge face a TV and a small dining table sat against a wall. 

Janey sent him a quick sharp look. Robby ever the cop never asked idle questions.

When no answer came from Janey Robby looked her way to find her watching him suspiciously.

"What's this about?" Janey asked suspiciously.

"I'm your brother. Can't I care enough to ask to find out how you're coping now you're home?" Robby asked gently.

That was the difference between her two brothers Janey knew. James waited for her to feel ready to talk if he knew something was wrong but Robby started poking and prying, edging the words out of her even before she knew she was ready to talk.

Robby watched as Janey's expression clouded over then became hard to read as she turned her face away from him.

"What is it you want to know?" Janey finally asked between gritted teeth.

"Sit down on the lounge and make yourself comfortable." Robby invited as he got one of the chairs from the dining table and bought it over to place it facing the lounge.

Janey sat down watching her brother guardedly.

"I'll come right to the point, no side-tracking around the issue," Robby said as he settled himself on the chair. "When you were talking to the female officer I couldn't help overhearing something you said to her. You said that you had found out you were pregnant." Robby paused for a moment as he noticed Janey's eyes narrow.

Janey sat on the edge of the lounge watching her brother silently.

"I can help you contact a clinic to get an abortion done before heading home. You don't have to have the constant reminder of what happened to you." Robby said gently. He watched his sister; she had lowered her head and wrapped her arms around herself.

Outrage boiled in Janey's mind as she slowly raised her head to look at Robby. Just knowing that he considered abortion an option for her made her anger continue to grow. She didn't dare say a word for fear she would start yelling at him.

"I know finding out you're pregnant must have been very scary, but you do have choices. You don't have to have the baby, or if you don't want to have an abortion you can always put the baby up for adoption." Robby said softly as he reached out to take her hand thinking that she was overwhelmed by her pregnancy.

"Leave me alone! Don't touch me!" Janey snapped as she jerked her hand away from him and got to her feet to pace restlessly. After a minute or so she stopped and turned to face her brother.

"It's alright Janey." Robby soothed softly.

"Alright?" Janey demanded angrily "You want to take me to have an abortion and kill my baby! And you say it's alright!"

"Janey..." Robby tried to talk to her.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! This baby is just as much an innocent victim as I am in this! It did not ask to be forced onto me by rape! And if you are going to go on about abortion or adoption then I will not let you near this child!" Janey said angrily, her voice rising slightly.

"I'm not the enemy here Janey." Robby said soothingly as he tried to calm her down.

"Leave me alone! Just leave me alone! First you made me look at those pictures! And now you made it so I got to go to counselling! You are not taking this baby from me!" Janey accused as she backed away several steps.

"I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to Janey. I am just making sure you knew you had options." Robby tried reasoning with her.

"Leave me alone!" Janey protested and retreated further away.

"Okay Janey. I'll let you be, no pressure." Robby said. His mobile phone started beeping and he pulled it from his pocket and looked at the number displayed on the screen. Regretfully he looked at Janey. "I have to take this call." Robby said as he got to his feet and answered the phone. He walked towards his room as he spoke softly into the phone.

Janey watched her brother disappear into his room uneasily. She knew she had over reacted to his misguided advice but she was starting to feel more and more protective of the life she knew she carried. As quick as her anger came it drained away leaving her feeling tired and exhausted. She sat back down on the lounge and waited for her brother to return. He came back in a minute with a worried look on his face.

"Janey, I have to go in to work for a while. I don't know how long I will be I'm afraid." Robby said gently. "We will finish this talk another time."

"Are you going to leave me here?" Janey asked uneasily and jumped to her feet when she saw the answer on his face before he spoke. "You can't leave me here alone!" Janey protested in a panic. 

"I'm sorry Janey but I have to go in to the station. Something has come up that I have to attend to." Robby said softly.

"Don't leave me here by myself!" Janey pleaded tearfully.

Robby looked at his sister worriedly. His father had already warned him that Janey refused to be left by herself at home. He glanced at his watch with a frown, he had to go in to the station to deal with something that had come up but he realised that he wouldn't be able to leave Janey by herself.

"How about I go and see if Adam is in his flat? Would you stay with Adam until I got back?" Robby asked hopefully.

Janey looked at him thoughtfully for a few seconds before giving a hesitant nod.

"That's the way!" Robby praised with a smile and headed to the door.

"Where are you going?!" Janey demanded worriedly as she followed him.

"Adam lives in the other row of flats. I'm just going to go over and see if he's home." Robby tried to reassure her as he opened the door.

"You're not leaving me alone?" Janey worried.

"I promise I won't do that." Robby said before heading across to the row of flats that faced his flat. He walked down to the second one and knocked on the door loudly.

Janey watched worriedly as he got no response and knocked a second time. She could just make out the door opening slightly and Robby talking to who ever was on the other side of the door before turning around and heading back to where she stood in the doorway watching. She stepped aside as he hurried in out of the light rain.

"Adam is not long home. He's just out of the shower and is getting dressed. He said you could go over there and stay with him until I get back. He hasn't had tea yet either." Robby told her. "So grab a jumper or whatever you think you'll need and I'll walk you over there on my way out." 

Janey hurried into the bedroom she was to use, opened one of her bags and pulled a warm jumper out of the bag then headed back out to where Robby was pulling on his jacket.

"Come on let's get going." Robby said opening the door and standing aside so she could go out. He quickly locked the door behind him and jogged over to the flat where Adam lived. He knocked on the door loudly then tried the doorknob and found the door unlocked as Adam had said it would be. "Janey's here Adam. I'll get back as soon as I can!" Robby called and motioned for Janey to go into the flat.

Janey walked into the flat and looked behind her as she heard the door close.

"Just another moment and I'll be out there!" Adam called from somewhere in the flat and Janey walked into the kitchenette. The flat appeared to have the same layout as her brother's flat but Adam had less furniture in view. 

Janey looked around the kitchenette slightly nervously and then turned to face Adam as he walked into the room. She looked him over slowly, taking in the fact that his hair was still quite damp from the shower and he was shrugging into a shirt. She noticed that his chest and abdomen were slickly muscled as if he worked out regularly and a strange but familiar feeling began to stir in her stomach. Janey looked away hurriedly as she realised her body was reacting to her looking at him admiringly.

"I haven't eaten yet. Rob said you haven't either. I hope take out pizza will do - I'm not much of a cook." Adam said as he moved to the stove and turned the oven off before opening it to remove a cardboard pizza box from the interior.

"Pizza is fine." Janey said as she watched him place the box on the table and open it.

"I hope pepperoni is fine." Adam said as he grabbed two plates from the rack of washed dishes on the sink.

"I like pepperoni." Janey said and gave him a faint smile when he glanced her way.

Adam put the plates on the table and helped himself to a slice of pizza, taking a large bite before placing it on a plate. He motioned towards the box with a hand as he chewed the mouthful of food.

"Help yourself. Want a beer to go with that? Or maybe a coke?" Adam asked after swallowing his food.

"Have you got anything else?" Janey asked hopefully as she lifted a piece of pizza from the box and placed it on the other plate.

"Is that all your going to eat?" Adam asked with a frown.

Janey glanced at her plate uneasily and the added a second slice of pizza to her plate before glancing at Adam who had went over to fridge and opened it.

"Come have a look at what drinks I have. See if there's anything you like." Adam invited her.

Janey walked over and peered past him to look in the fridge. She had to bite her tongue as the thought that she liked the guy standing in front of the fridge popped into her mind. There were several different types of soda as well as orange juice and a bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge.

"Can I have chocolate milk please?" Janey asked softly, her eyes shinning with delight unbeknownst to her.

"Sure thing." Adam said as he got the chocolate milk from the fridge and handed the small bottle to Janey. It had been meant for his breakfast but he was happy to let her have it.

Janey opened the milk and took a drink with such pleasure that Adam had to smile as she looked around for some place to sit.

"I only moved in two weeks ago so I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of seating. My old place came fully furnished." Adam said apologetically.

"I can sit on the floor." Janey said as she picked up her plate and headed towards the empty living room.

"Janey. Wait a moment." Adam said softly.

Janey paused and turned to look at him.

"We can go in my room. I have the only chair in there at the moment. I can sit on the chair and you can sit on my bed, and we can watch something that's on TV while we eat," He suggested softly.

Janey glanced down at the plate of food she held as she considered it a moment. There was something about Adam that told her she could trust him. Besides she could sit down and watch TV with a cute guy just like any normal girl she realised.

"Okay then." Janey said and waited for him to lead the way to his room.

As Janey paused in the doorway, she noticed that where the rest of the flat lacked furniture his bedroom was quite comfortable and the chair was in the room like Adam had said.

The bed was definitely the main feature of the room, a big king sized bed that he was hastily making. On the side closest to the door the chair Adam had mentioned sat with an empty cup and plate on it. At the foot of the bed against the wall stood a nice wooden TV cabinet that contained a TV, DVD player and a video player. 

"I'll just take this out." Adam said as he picked up the used crockery and placed his plate and can of beer on the chair. "Make yourself comfortable." He invited as he moved past her on his way to the kitchen.

Janey walked to the bed and tossed a pillow towards the end of the bed before placing her plate beside it and climbing onto the bed to stretch out on her stomach using the pillow just under her ribs as she propped herself up on her elbows. She was quite comfortable when Adam came back into the room carrying the box of pizza. 

Adam placed the pizza box on the bed within easy reach of both of them before picking up his plate and beer and sitting on the chair. He picked the TV remote control up off the floor beside the chair and turned the TV on.

"Anything you would like to watch?" Adam asked.

"Got any interesting dvd's or video's?" Janey asked.

"How about I eat first and then look through the movies?" Adam asked. He had had a hard day at work and had been forced to miss lunch to keep working on a case he was finishing up to hand over to the prosecutor.

"Mmm, okay." Janey agreed then took another bite of pizza as she glanced back at him.

Adam chewed his mouthful of food as he met Janey's eyes; once again he noticed their clear blue colour, almost the same colour as the sky on a warm cloudless day. He realised he had been starring when she looked away before darting a nervous glance at him a second later.




Shattered Dreams Ch. 04



"You have pretty eyes. Anyone ever tell you that?" Adam asked.

"Been told something along those lines." Janey admitted faintly.

Adam laughed softly and without thinking reached out to grasp her ankle and squeeze it gently.

Janey gave a startled gasp and jerked her leg away as she rolled to face the threat.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you!" Adam rushed to apologise.

"Just let me know when you're going to grab me next time!" Janey said as she rolled back onto her stomach and repositioned the pillow to help keep most of her weight off of her stomach. She squirmed uncomfortably as she realised that the sensitivity in her breasts was only partly to do with the pregnancy and a lot to do with the fact that she was in the same room as Adam whom she was attracted to. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to understand how she could be sexually attracted to some guy after what she had gone through.

Adam watched as she settled herself once again. When he realised what he had done in touching her he expected her to be upset with him. He wondered if by her remark she was just as interested in him as he was in her.

"So does that mean that I can grab you again?" Adam asked after a few moments.

Janey glanced his way startled at his direct question and blushed as she met his gaze, then she looked back at the TV program hurriedly. She took another bite of her pizza and ate it before answering.

"Don't take it the wrong way but don't just grab me like that. Speak to me before you touch me." Janey said with a quick nervous glance.

"And preferably don't touch you?" Adam asked very softly.

Janey didn't answer his question and after several minutes during which she finished her pizza and drank the chocolate milk she rolled onto her side to look over at him.

How could she broche the subject of her interest in him? That she found she liked him mentally and quite likely sexually as well? How would she explain to him that one thing she had discovered surprisingly was that she missed sex. And she often woke through the night after some dream she couldn't remember and found that her body was aroused and took a long time to calm down. Several times she had resorted to masturbation so she could get back to sleep quickly. 

Adam glanced at her then pointed at the box containing another slice of pizza. "You can have that if you're still hungry." He said.

"I'm full thanks." Janey said as she watched him.

"Okay then, how about I see what movies I got." Adam said as he got to his feet and moved around to the end of the bed and squatted beside the TV cabinet to look through his DVD collection for a movie that might interest Janey.

"What do you think of martial arts films?" Adam asked as he glanced towards Janey.

"Who are the actors?" She asked with interest. Ren had loved action films with Van Damme and Chuck Norris in them, and he had often watched a movie with one or the other of the actors in them. Janey had quite enjoyed the movies as well.

"What about Blade or the Longest Yard?" Adam asked "Or there is The Matrix," he said as he looked at her where she was hanging over the edge of the bed trying to see the cases he had put aside. He put a hand over them as he put them in the cabinet. He shut the door on them and handed the three cases he had picked out to Janey.

"What are those other dvd's?" Janey asked curiously as she took the offered cases.

"Movies I don't think you would like," Adam said as he tapped the cases she held. "Like any of them?"

Janey handed him the case containing The Matrix and watched as he put the disc into the player.

"Hand me your plate and I'll take it out to the kitchen." Adam said as he collected the pizza box, his plate and his empty beer can. 

Janey passed him her empty plate and the empty flavoured milk bottle then watched him walk from the room. She moved to the head of the bed and sat with her back against the headboard leaving one side empty for Adam to sit when he came back into the room. She heard him moving around for a few minutes before he returned to the room.

"Getting uncomfortable were you?" Adam asked when he noticed that Janey was sitting up with her back against the headboard.

"I just thought you might want to make yourself comfortable and it would be quite rude of me to have my feet up near your head." Janey said faintly.

"Oh gee! And here I was hoping that maybe you wanted me to sit up with you." Adam said lightly.

Janey darted a quick look at his face then looked away when she found he was watching her. She felt her face start to burn with embarrassment as she realised he suspected she was interested in him. It was so difficult actually wanting a man to pay that sort of attention to her especially after what she had gone through with Hawk.

"Yeah, well maybe that too." Janey muttered under her breath.

"Well I wouldn't want to disappoint the lady now would I?" Adam said softly, soothingly as he moved to the side of the bed and sat down on the bed.

Janey turned her head to watch him as he sat on the bed and slowly swung his legs up onto the bed and moved to rest against the headboard. She glanced up to meet his eyes only to find him watching her steadily.

"It's okay. If something is going to develop between us I am happy to go at your pace." Adam said, his voice rich with understanding.

Janey turned back towards the start of the movie shakily. He would understand how hard it was for her she realised. After all he dealt with the victims of sexual abuse and rape in his work nearly all the time as he was in the sex crimes department.



Shattered Dreams Ch. 05



I am sorry it is taking so long for me to get chapters done and posted on this site but I have some commitments in real life and writing must take second place at the moment. But do not despair, I am trying to find time to finish this series as well as Ren's series.

And thanks to all the people who take the time to vote or leave comments on my submissions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam was still awake when he heard the knocking on the front door of his flat. He got up off the bed reluctantly and after a quick glance to ensure Janey was still asleep he headed for the door leaving the TV on. 

Robby was on the other side of the door when Adam swung it open and he looked past Adam expecting to see his sister.

"Where's Janey?" Robby asked.

"She's asleep - come on in." Adam said as he stepped aside.

Robby looked around the flat seeing the lack of furniture then turned suspicious eyes on Adam.

"Janey's in my room. Don't worry, she's right as rain." Adam said as he led the way.

Robby hurried after him not sure what he would find. He stopped in the doorway and took in the sight in the room.

A king sized bed faced the wall nearest the door, along that wall stood a tv cabinet complete with TV, dvd player and vcr player. Some program was showing on the tv but what held Robby's attention was his youngest sister Janey. 

Janey lay curled up on her side in the bed, the covers tucked in around her shoulders. Pillows formed a barrier down the middle of the bed that she was facing. The imprint of his body where Adam had been reclined showed on top of the blankets and in the pillow leant against the headboard.

From where he stood Robby could see that Janey was sound asleep and clearly quite comfortable.

"I'll wake her up for you," Adam said as he approached the bed and squatted beside the bed near Janey. "Hey Janey. You going to wake up? Janey?" he coaxed softly.

Only when she rolled towards his voice and opened her eyes did he rest his hand lightly on her upper arm.

"Robby's here. Come on, wake up properly." Adam coaxed gently.

Janey blinked sleepily then yawned as she stretched her arms up over her head and arched her body as she stretched slowly.

"You awake yet Janey?" Robby asked and Janey let out a startled gasp as she scurried to sit up in a hurry.

"You scared me!" She protested as she brushed her fringe back out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Are you ready to head back to my place now?" Robby asked.

"Okay." Janey agreed and once again yawned.

"Well get out of Adam's bed. I'm sure he's just as tired," Robby said as he turned away.

Janey looked from Robby's retreating back to Adam's face. Adam merely gave her a grin and held his hand out so she could take it if she needed any help getting out of the blankets.

"Thank you for letting me stay here so I wouldn't be by myself," Janey said quietly to Adam.

"Anytime you want to come visit me feel free to," Adam told her as she swung her legs off the bed and stood up. He picked her jacket up off of the floor where it had fallen and handed it to her. Janey smiled at him as she walked past him and followed her brother to the front door, pulling her jacket on as she went.

"Janey, do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night and afterwards we could go to one of the video hire shops and get a movie that you like?" Adam asked as Janey followed Robby outside.

Janey paused a second then glanced over her shoulder with a shy smile, "Yes I'd like that, thanks."

"Tomorrow afternoon then," Adam said.

"Come on Janey, before you get cold," Robby said. He turned his head to look at his friend, "Thanks for tonight."

Adam watched as Robby and Janey disappeared into Robby's flat. He had enjoyed the time with Janey even when she had fallen asleep watching the second movie he had put on for them. Feeling lonely he turned and went back inside his flat shutting the door after himself, he headed into his room and removed the pillows from the centre of the bed. He used the remote control to turn off the TV, switched the light off and undressed before climbing into bed.

As he lay awake staring at the ceiling he recalled how Janey had looked curled up asleep in his bed. His body grew hard as he thought about what it would be like to be able to touch her when she was in bed with him. He groaned and rolled over to punch his pillow several times before closing his eyes and trying to force all thoughts of her from his mind; but the faint scent of her shampoo lingered on the pillow she had used and he was finally forced to toss it off the bed.

* * * * *

Robby was just about to take his lunch break when the fax came through in his department. He didn't bother to go and get it out of the machine, as there were four other detectives that used the fax machine beside him. It wasn't until one of the other detectives dropped the printed sheet on his desk that he looked up.

"You might want to take a look at it," Detective Frank Saunders said as he watched Robby pull the paper in front of him. 

Robby reread the piece of paper several times to make sure he was reading it correctly. A huge smile spread across his face.

"Good news I take it," Frank said when he saw the grin on Robby's face.

"Sure is!" Robby said enthusiastically.

Frank walked away leaving Robby alone at his desk.

Robby picked up his phone and dialled an outside line so he could talk to his parents; he knew that they would be just as happy as him to hear the news.

"Hallo, Jim Wilkinson speaking," Jim said as he finally answered the phone.

"Hi Dad, it's Rob. I got some great news for the family. I thought that you and Mum might like to hear right away. There has been several arrests made today on Janey's case and the guys arrested had passed on information concerning the where abouts of the others wanted for questioning," Robby said happily.

"Was it the bastard who abducted Janey?" Jim asked hopefully.

"No but the two arrested told police exactly where the guy is believed to be staying, right down to a description of what he usually wears and what the house looks like, where he parks his bike," Robby said. "And they gave the last known where abouts of the guys that roughed Janey up when she was trying to get home."

"Hopefully there will be more good news later today or tomorrow," came Jim's strong voice over the phone.

"Certainly looks like they're closing in on them now. The guy who sent me the information wouldn't have mentioned the leads if he didn't believe they would pan out," Robby said as he leant back in his chair, a feeling of satisfaction flowing over him. He talked with his father for several more minutes before ending the call and glancing at his watch. He got to his feet and tucked his wallet into his pocket before heading for the door. He passed the duty officer at the front counter on his way out of the building.

"Ernie, I'm off to lunch and then I'll be back for an hour and a half before I knock off for the day for a few hours sleep. I'm relieving McNamara while he spends time with his wife and their new baby," Robby said to the other man.

"McNamara's missus finally had the kid did she? What is it?" Ernie asked with interest.

"A boy. McNamara finally has his son after five daughters," Robby said with a grin before heading out the front door.

Outside the day was warm and sunny and Robby headed for his favourite sandwich bar for lunch. He ordered his usual ham and salad roll, paid for it and waited for the girl behind the counter to finish making it. Taking his roll and drink he wandered outside and into the nearby park. He was just about to throw some bun to the birds sitting on the park bench when he suddenly realised that his working of a night would leave Janey alone in his flat at night, a situation he knew that she would not allow.

Robby headed back towards the police station hoping to catch Adam in his office or somewhere in the station. Once inside the building he tossed his half finished roll into a bin and quickly downed the cold can of lemon squash. He found Adam in the main room of the block of rooms the Sex Crimes team used; he was updating something on one of the whiteboards spaced around the room.

"Adam, can I have a word with you please?" Robby asked as he halted just inside the doorway.

"There a problem?" Adam asked as he turned around to face Robby. He had been expecting a visit from Robby some time during the day concerning the fact that Janey had been in his bed when Robby had arrived the night before.

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could do me a favour over the next few nights," Robby said as he moved into the room.

"Which is?" Adam asked.

"I've been rostered on to cover for McNamara for the next week. His wife had a baby last night. But Janey won't want to stay in my flat alone," Robby said. "Do you think you can stay at my place with her?"

"Yeah, I can bunk down on the lounge," Adam agreed readily.

"At least I have one," Robby said dryly.

Adam shrugged. He didn't tell Robby that the first thing he had done when he got into work that morning was ring up a furniture company and order a second tv cabinet, a lounge and a recliner chair for his living room.

"If it's alright with you I'll need you to pick Janey up from the counselling session this afternoon. I'll be trying to sleep about that time." Robby said.

"What time are you supposed to pick her up?" Adam asked.

"Five pm." Robby said.

"No problems - can do." Adam said and leant back in his chair.

"I got some interesting news earlier," Robby told him.

"You mean about the arrests?" Adam asked.

"You know?" Robby was surprised that Adam had been informed after all he did take himself off the case.

"Yes the arresting officers faxed their reports through to the team here. I might not be on the case any more but I do follow any progress. And by the way, another fax came through about five minutes before you walked in the door. Another arrest on the case. " Robby told him, his voice deep with satisfaction.

"Do you know who has been arrested exactly?" Robby asked.

"Sit down," Adam indicated the chair in front of his desk as he reached for a note pad.

Robby sat down and waited impatiently while Adam flipped through the pages of the note pad until he stopped turning the pages and began reading what he had written.

"The first arrests were made late last night. Andrew John Matthews and Steven Brent Winters. Janey identified them as Matty and Brent. Today's arrest was Wilson James Brown, identified by Janey as Wilson. During his interview he couldn't help boasting how he had managed to get hold of Janey even though a couple of the others were set on protecting her from him. He openly admitted to the charges that had been laid due to Janey's statement."

Robby had looked away as Adam spoke. He could still remember his sister's reaction to the pictures that day she had identified them.

"Is it true leads are being followed up on the others she identified?" Robby asked after several minutes' silence.

"Yeah, young Matthews co-operated with detectives when the solicitor he called in to advise him during questioning advised him to tell all he knew about the others involved. His mate Winters just clammed up refusing to answer any and all questions," Adam informed him.

"So you'll be all right to keep Janey company?" Robby asked. "I hope I won't turn up to find her in your bed again."

"Janey is most welcome to stay with me. We were going to go check out videos and find one Janey likes for me to hire anyway." Adam said as he put his notebook aside. "Well if you don't mind I'm just about to go onto my lunch break."

Robby got to his feet as Adam stood behind the desk and peeled his jacket off the back of his chair.

"You know where the counselling is being held don't you?" Robby asked. "And you'll pick Janey up at 5pm?"

"I'll make a point of being five minutes early," Adam said as he walked around the desk and headed for the door.

"Thanks a lot," Robby said as they parted company outside the door to head in opposite directions.

Back in his office Robby found another email waiting for him on his desk. He read it and recognised it as what would be the arrest that Adam had told him about happening today. The list of prior convictions and warrants out on the guy made Robby angry as he realised that Wilson Brown was a repeat violent sex offender. He put the fax aside without reading the last bit about his admissions during his arrest and questioning.

The next two hours passed quickly and Robby headed back to his flat, set his alarm and tried to catch some sleep before he would go onto night shift.

The Alarm woke Robby at 6:30 and he sat up and looked around sleepily. Realising the time he got to his feet and went through the flat looking for Janey and Adam. Finding no one in the flat he went outside and headed over to Adam's place. He could hear music playing inside the flat and knocked loudly to make sure he was heard.

Adam opened the door and stepped aside so Robby could enter the flat.

"I thought you were going to be staying over at my place," Robby said as he saw Janey standing at the table watching him.

Adam shrugged and motioned towards the new furniture in the living room. An array of packing was scattered around the room. "We were here while this was delivered and we thought you might sleep better without us over there making noise," Adam explained.

Robby glanced over at his sister where she stood silently and shrugged, "Fair enough I suppose."

"I was just about to cook spaghetti and meat balls. You hungry?" Janey asked.

It was then that Robby noticed that his sister was just finishing making meatballs, "Don't mind if I do," he told her.

"Want a cold drink?" Adam asked as he went to the fridge to get himself a can of coke.

"If you've got another one of those I wouldn't mind," Robby answered then accepted the can as Adam passed it to him.

"What about you Janey? Thirsty?" Adam asked.

"Can I have some juice please?" Janey asked as she carried the bowl of prepared meatballs over to the stove.

"Coming right up." Adam said as he got a bottle of juice from the fridge and poured a glass of juice for Janey. He placed her drink on the counter by the stove and then moved back to give her plenty of room to work. 

Janey smiled at him shyly as she moved to the stove and began to cook.

"Can I have a quick word with you?" Adam asked Robby quietly as Janey was preoccupied with cooking.

Robby shrugged, "No reason you can't" Robby said as he followed Adam over towards the doorway of his room.

"I haven't said anything to Janey yet but word came through just before I left work that the three men that assaulted her in Melbourne have been arrested and the man she said was the one who had abducted her got arrested along with his mate around lunch time today. The only ones that they don't have yet is the one Janey said bought her the ticket home and his mate," Adam said quietly.

A look of satisfaction came to Robby's face as he glanced towards his sister. "Any leads on either of them?" he asked.

"Apparently the man that was identified as the one who grabbed Janey was only too happy to tell all he knew about the two that haven't been caught yet," Adam said softly.

"What are you two whispering about?" Janey asked as she looked over at them talking quietly by the bedroom door.

"Can you let that cook for a few minutes by itself?" Robby asked quietly.

Janey glanced towards the meatballs she had simmering in broth then back at her brother's sober face. Sensing something serious was about to be said she checked the pasta she had cooking and adjusted the temperature of the hotplates before putting a lid on the meatballs. With nothing left to do she made her way over closer to her brother. Her eyes darted nervously from Robby's face to Adam's face and back again.

"How about we go sit down and try out the new lounge and chair?" Adam asked quietly.

Janey walked over to the living room and sat on one end of the lounge. She glanced at Robby nervously and folded her arms across her ribs.

Robby sat on the lounge not far from his sister and turned as far as possible to face in her direction, glanced at Adam where he had settled himself on the recliner chair and then turned his attention to Janey once more.

"Janey? Do you remember looking at those photos and identifying some men?" Robby asked softly.

Janey gave a jerky nod and glanced towards her brother nervously then glanced towards Adam on her other side.

"Then you made some statements to a pair of female police officer in Byron..." Robby pressed on. "Well there finally have been some arrests made. The police have the three men who attacked you in Melbourne in custody, the man who abducted you, his friend and three of the others you identified have been arrested as well. It won't be much longer before the last two are arrested."

Janey turned stunned eyes on her brother, "They are all getting arrested? All of them? Even the ones who helped me?" She demanded.

"Do you know what Aiding and Abetting after the Fact is?" Robby asked quietly as he glanced towards Adam hoping he would help explain it to Janey. 

"Who's been arrested?" Janey demanded as she got to her feet and moved away from the lounge. She stood with her back to the two men. "Or rather who hasn't been arrested?" she demanded as she turned to face her brother.

"The only ones who haven't been caught yet are the one you say got you the ticket home and his friend," Robby told her.

"But there is no reason to arrest them! They helped me! They protected me!" Janey protested frantically.

"Are you saying they never hit you or hurt you in anyway? Never made you do anything you didn't want to do? That they didn't know you were being held there against your will? Neither of them raped you or forced you to let them have sex with them?" Robby asked her.

Janey turned away as memories rushed back to her. Brad telling her the first time that she had no choice in the matter, that she could fight him or just let him touch her and have sex with her. Ren kissing her, caressing her, showing her what her body craved until she gave in to what her body wanted and became a willing partner in the act of sex.

She closed her eyes tightly as she realised others would not see things the way she did.

"You don't understand," Janey whispered softly.

Robby stilled as he heard what his sister had whispered. Fury rushed into his body forcing away caution as his heartbeat thundered in his ears.

"Is one of them likely the father of the kid you're carrying? Is that why you're trying to protect them?" He demanded angrily.

Janey opened her eyes as she heard what her brother had said. She turned around to face his and refute his accusation but he resumed his questions before she could speak.

"Or did you think they were cute and enjoyed having sex with them?" Robby demanded, "Is that the reason you won't do the smart thing and get rid of the baby?"

"Shit!" Adam swore softly as he saw the impact Robby's words had on Janey, the way she flinched and wrapped her arms protectively over her stomache. The meaning of Robby's words hit him as he saw the way she held herself protectively.

"You don't know what you're talking about! You don't know what it was like for me!" Janey protested with pain filled eyes.

"Good God! You fancied one of them, didn't you!" Robby accused.

"It wasn't like that!" Janey protested. She tried to shut her mind to the memory of her body's reaction to even just Ren's presence. She caught sight of the shocked look on Adam's face and then looked at the anger showing clearly on Robby's face. Defeated she turned toward the table where her jumper hung over the back of one of the chairs.

"I want to go home. I just want to go home," She said dejectedly as she pulled her jumper on.




Shattered Dreams Ch. 05



(author comment) sorry for the long delay, something called real life keeps intruding, grrrr! This and chapter 6 have been ready for ages and I'm working on chapter 7.

*

Sera was still shaking, aware of her heart pounding as she clung to Carlos. Her body felt ultra sensitive, all her senses seemed magnified. She almost jumped as Carlos brushed his lips against her cheek.

"I love the way you come, baby," he said. "That was so hot."

"It's never been like that before" she replied, her voice shaky. Still, her experience had been limited to a few toys as she had always been too embarrassed to actually touch herself.

As she began to calm down, she realised that they were both naked. "Could you pass me a towel?" she asked. There was no way she was getting out of the hot tub and letting him see her, even after what had just happened. She felt so ashamed, how could she have let herself go like that? She couldn't even face him, couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes remembering how she had begged him to touch her.

He got out and handed her a towel. "Use the outside shower if you like then I'll show you to your room."

She felt relieved, 'her' room not 'their' room. She managed to put her wet bikini bottoms back on, shielding her body with the towel. She was not showering naked in front of Carlos. She was embarrassed enough that he had seen her breasts. After she had finished showering, he handed her another clean towel. She wrapped herself up in it and sat on one of the loungers whilst he showered. 

After he showered, she followed him upstairs, and he opened a door leading to a beautiful bedroom. The room was dominated by a huge four poster bed with black silk curtains There were fake fur rugs on the floor, and candles lit everywhere. Then he opened a second, connecting door. This room was smaller, but no less impressive. There was a silver four poster, inlaid with precious jewels, and a white lace canopy above it. The rugs and curtains were white. Candles were lit here too. There was a huge wardrobe, and Sera noticed it was full of her clothes. She looked at him questioningly.

"I'll explain later" he said. "Change into the clothes on the bed and I'll get some champagne." 

Sera went through to the room, and breathed a sigh of relief as she heard the door shut behind her. Looking on the bed, Sera saw the outfit John had bought her for her birthday, white lacy stockings, an ivory satin suspender belt, and matching knickers. He had asked her to model it for him but she had ignored him. Her white silky skirt and matching lace top lay beside it, and she felt embarrassed to wear the outfit in front of Carlos. The skirt swirled around as she walked, showing her legs up to the thigh. The top tied in a knot between her breasts, leaving her stomach bare. Reluctantly, she put on the clothes, and the make up which was on the dressing table. 

All too soon there was a knock on the door. "Are you ready?" demanded Carlos.

"Yes," 

He opened the connecting door. "You look amazing" he said. He was still wearing just the towel, his long hair was still damp around his shoulders. The white towel emphasised his tanned skin and despite her fear, she thought he looked pretty amazing himself.

"Come here," he said softly, patting the bed in his room. Nervously, she walked over to the bed and sat down and he handed her a glass of champagne. She still felt embarrassed about the way she had responded to him earlier. 

She drank the champagne quickly, she was no longer relaxed with him after what had happened earlier. He took the glass from her and began to kiss her, unfastening her top. He stared at her half naked body again. 

"So beautiful" he said. "I've got to feel you against me." He lifted her legs and moved her so she was lying full length on the bed, and covered her body with his, desperate to feel her breasts pressing against his bare chest. He began kissing her again, roughly. She could feel his aroused body pressing against her, and knew she would be forced to satisfy him again. 

He lifted his weight slightly and began to caress her left breast. His free hand trailed over her stomach, down past her hips, then pushed her skirt aside touching her bare thigh. Then slowly, he moved his hand up her inner thigh until he reached her knickers. His fingers began to push inside her knickers and she panicked. She couldn't let it happen again, she decided she was going to have to distract him somehow. 

She twisted away from him and hesitantly placed her hands on his chest. Shyly, she began to caress him with her fingertips. He sighed and lay back down on the bed.

"Is this ok?" she asked.

"It's good." He could tell that she felt embarrassed after what had happened earlier.

She looked at him nervously, trying to imagine what he would like, remembering the reluctant pleasure she had got from his caresses earlier. She stroked his hair, his face, then began to cover his face with soft kisses. Her hands moved down to his chest again. 

"Do men like being touched here too?"

"Why don't you find out?" he replied. 

She began to stroke and kiss her way down his body. She was so caught up in what she was doing that she forgot the situation, only wanting to please him. He caught his breath, expecting to feel her hands or her mouth on him any moment. But instead she stopped and began to caress and kiss his thighs, her fingers and tongue moving tantalisingly close to where he wanted them. As she finally went to take him in her mouth, he stopped her.

"No baby. We've got all night and right now I've got something else in mind." 

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean? I want you."

"You...you mean sex?"

He laughed. "Of course I mean sex."

"But you said I didn't have to."

"What?" Then he realised how she had misunderstood him. "Baby you really think I'd just settle for a blow job when I can do anything I want to you? You misunderstood me. I just meant we didn't have to have sex earlier."

"I'll do what I did before, but please; don't let this go any further."

"What did I tell you about begging me, or have you changed your mind?"

Her heart sank. She was terrified of being put in prison in a foreign country, but the alternative was even more frightening to her.

"Yes I have," she said. "Put me in prison if you want, at least then I can see someone from the embassy."

He laughed. "There's no British embassy here. It's unfortunate for you because things have changed. I talked to Angel earlier. John has been questioned and he said that you knew he was spying. No one believes him, but if I tell the president you admitted it to me, you could be looking at life imprisonment."

She felt sick with fear. "You wouldn't do that, would you?"

"I might. And I could always visit you in prison and make sure you weren't too lonely. If I bribed the guards enough they wouldn't care what I did. And the deals changed now."

"What do you mean?"

"I looked at your travel ticket, your plane leaves in five weeks. You stay with me until then."

"But you said I could go tomorrow."

"That was before John landed you in it. I'm taking a risk protecting you so I might as well get as much out of it as I can."

She listened in horror. "Please, I'm..." 

"I won't tell you again. No begging. The only word I want to hear from you is yes or no. Preferably yes. You've got five minutes to make up your mind. Here, maybe this will help." He poured her another glass of champagne. 

She reached for her top as the fact that she was half naked in front of him made her feel even more helpless.

"Leave it" he ordered.

He started to caress her breasts again. "Think about it baby." he whispered. "It's just a few weeks out of the rest of your life. I've never had any complaints. By the time I've finished with you, you might not want to leave. Or..." his hands tightened on her breasts, "you go back to the cell, you wait for your trial, probably months, and then you spend the rest of your life in prison." 

She shivered. Of course, he had no intention of sending her to prison, or even keeping her in the cells, but she had no way of knowing that. 

"Five minutes baby" he said, and lowered his mouth to her neck. She felt his teeth, felt his breath on the tender skin of her neck. She would be wearing scarves for weeks, she thought sadly.

She realised there was no way out. She would have to let him do what he wanted. She made one last desperate plea. "I've nev..."

He covered her mouth with his hand. "Yes or no baby, and no more begging. This is your last chance."

She turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "And another thing" he added. "Lose the tears. It's not much of a turn on that the thought of having sex with me is making you cry." He looked at the clock. "Well?" he demanded. "I want your answer." He stroked the bite on her neck. "Or I can give you another of these while you decide."

Wordlessly, she tilted her head, offering the other side of her neck to him. She felt him biting her gently, and his hands returned to her breasts. She knew she was just killing time, putting off the inevitable. 

"Time's up baby."

"So if I agree to sleep with you I can go home in five weeks and if I don't you'll throw me in prison and probably do what you want with me anyway?"

"Basically, yes. You won't last five minutes in prison in a normal cell. I could make sure you were comfortable and looked after...but it would have to be worth it."

"I don't have much of a choice then, do I?" 

"Good I'm glad you've decided to be sensible."

She picked up her discarded top and put it on, then went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, catching sight of herself in the mirror. She looked like a frightened bride on a wedding night. Well, this was as near as she was going to get to one. She thought of all her dreams of a man who loved her and would be gentle and understanding. But now she would be forced to give her virginity to an uncaring stranger who felt nothing for her but lust. She knew that if she ever wanted to see her family again somehow she would have to go back in that room and endure whatever he did to her. She was so scared; she knew he would probably hurt her really badly He hadn't even listened when she'd tried to tell him she was a virgin. It would probably only make things worse if he knew, he might even humiliate and hurt her even more. She couldn't do it, she just couldn't. She sank down on the floor, shaking.

There was a knock on the door. "Sera, are you ok?" She didn't answer. Carlos opened the door and saw Sera huddled in a corner, shaking, with tears pouring down her face.

"Please don't be angry with me for crying" she sobbed. "I can't help it, I'm scared."

He felt like a heartless monster, her tears were making him feel bad. He pulled her into his arms. "It's ok, I'm not angry," he said, and stroked her hair gently whilst she sobbed against his chest. For some reason, his sudden gentleness made her cry even more. When she had no more tears left, he wiped her face gently, looking into her frightened eyes. He still wanted her, but not like this. He decided he would try to find out what was wrong and if she really didn't want him, he would tell her she was free to go. 

"You've got panda eyes babe," he said softly. "Do you want to sort yourself out?"

"Thanks." She stood up, still shaky, and went over to the mirror to wipe her mascara off.

"Sera," he said softly.

She looked at him with wide, frightened eyes.

"You like me kissing you and touching you don't you?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"So why are you so scared of having sex with me? I'm not being arrogant but I can tell when someone's attracted to me, and I know you are. If you're worried about what John's going to think, he got you into this situation anyway, and it's not like you had a choice." 

John? Sera had almost forgotten about him, but he certainly hadn't forgotten about her. As she debated whether to tell Carlos the real reason she was so reluctant, the phone rang.



Shattered Dreams Ch. 05



"You haven't finished the counselling week so there is no running home to Mum and Dad!" Robby snapped.

"That is enough!" Adam commanded as he finally got over his shock and got to his feet to stand between Robby and Janey, "Your sister was smart and did what she had to to survive! Just because she did as she was told does not mean she did it willingly. And if she was lucky enough that some of the people she was with treated her half way decently then all the better for her! Your sister came back alive which is more then can be said for some victims of similar circumstances!" Adam snapped. He turned towards Janey and saw how she was standing at the door wanting to leave. "How about you come sit down? Robby was just about to leave and I can finish cooking the food," Adam said gently.

Janey didn't reply as she walked back to the lounge woodenly and sat down.

"I'll see you tomorrow afternoon," Adam said as he walked to the front door and opened it and looked from it to Robby pointedly. He thought that Robby might stay and try to argue but Robby looked at his sister, regret clear on his face, then he turned with a curse and headed out the door.

Adam shut the door after him and checked on the food before walking over to squat in front of Janey, "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Janey nodded without looking at him. She moved back further on the lounge and pulled her legs up against her body, wrapped her arms around her up drawn legs and buried her face in her knees.

Adam quickly realised that Janey wasn't about to talk to him and left her alone while he went back to the stove to finish cooking their meal.

When the food was cooked he dished himself up some then dished a small amount for Janey and carried both plates over to the lounge.

"Come on, sit up properly. You have to eat this." Adam told her. He watched as Janey eased her legs down reluctantly and took the plate when he all but forced it into her hands.

"I'm not hungry," Janey said faintly.

"That's fair enough but you have to eat so your body can look after the baby. Robby was right when he said you were pregnant wasn't he?" Adam asked briskly.

"Yes," Janey said faintly as she sat staring at the plate in her hands.

"Well eat up and then we can have a little chat. Now I am not going to order you about like your brother was trying to do but I seriously think we need to have a serious conversation," Adam told her gently.

"I'm not hungry," Janey repeated.

Adam paused to look at her, "Okay, let me take that for you then, but on one condition: you have to drink the glass of chocolate milk I give you." He said as he took the plate, stood up and headed for the kitchenette. He returned shortly with a medium glass of flavoured milk and pressed it into her hands, "Try some of that."

Janey forced herself to take a sip of the milk; she was horribly aware of Adam beside her and was embarrassed as to what he must be thinking of her.

Adam glanced at Janey every few minutes as he ate. He couldn't help noticing that she barely drank any of the milk. "Come on, try to take a couple more sips," he urged gently.

By the time he had finished his meal he had coaxed Janey to drink half of the milk in the glass. Gently he reached out and took the glass from her unresisting fingers before getting to his feet and heading for the kitchenette. When he returned he carried a can of coke for himself and about an inch of chocolate milk in the glass for Janey.

"Drink it," He ordered as he shoved the glass into her hands and forcibly guided it up to her lips.

Obediently she swallowed the liquid in the glass as he tipped it up, her eyes flew open wide and she pushed the empty glass away and coughed for several moments, "What was in that?" She demanded as she looked at him.

"I put a nip of brandy in it. It won't hurt the baby. My sister sometimes had one tiny drink when she was pregnant, not often but on rare occasions, and it never harmed her baby," Adam said firmly before taking the glass back to the sink. When he returned to the lounge to sit down Janey was much more alert to his movements.

"You must think I'm horrible," Janey said softly as she looked away.

"No, I don't. I think you are an extremely brave person who did what she needed to survive and is trying to get on with her life." Adam said gently, "But I do have one question. When were you going to tell me about the baby?"

Janey glanced at him then looked down at her arms where they were hugging her stomach once again. She forced herself to release her hold and lift her chin, "I honestly don't know. I meant to, really I did, but I was too scared to tell you. I was worried you would think badly of me," She admitted as she glanced at his uneasily.

"Okay, so the worst has happened and I don't think badly of you. I understand the fact that you were forced to do things you really didn't want to but had to do to be able to endure what you went through," Adam told her evenly.

Janey gave a slight nod and for the briefest of seconds met his eyes before looking away.

"Okay, so how about we watch this movie?" Adam asked quietly.



Shattered Dreams Ch. 06



I must say thanks to the many readers who take the time to vote and leave comments, also thanks to those who drop an email as feedback.

* * * * * * * *

Janey had been watching the movie for nearly an hour before she started to feel the return of her appetite. She glanced towards Adam but he was quite wrapped up in the movie. After a few minutes she cleared her throat nervously and glanced at him.

"Something wrong?" Adam asked gently.

"I'm starting to feel hungry now," Janey answered faintly.

Adam got to his feet and went to the stove to dish up some of the food still sitting on the stove; he slipped the plate of food into the microwave to reheat before carrying it back to Janey.

"Try to eat as much as possible. You'll feel better once you have some solid food in your stomach," Adam said as he sat down not far from her.

Janey tried a meatball gingerly. Finding it to her liking she chewed hungrily and swallowed before reaching with her fork for another one. "Adam?" She queried softly.

"Yes?"

"What is that Aiding and Betting thing Robby was talking about?" Janey asked quietly without looking his way.

"Basically it means helping, or not doing anything to stop someone. Some of the men will be charged with Aiding and Abetting after the kidnapping. It means they did nothing to help you get away from the man who abducted you," Adam explained.

"Hawk, his name is Hawk," Janey said faintly.

"By not doing anything to get you back home they were inadvertently helping Hawk," Adam explained.

Janey put the fork down on the side of the plate as her stomach rolled in protest. "I can't eat anymore," Janey said softly.

Adam had been watching her eat and while she had eaten some food there was just as much left on her plate "That's fine. You ate some," Adam said as he took her plate and carried it back to the stove. Quickly he put the untouched leftovers in the fridge and the dirty plates on the sink.

Janey glanced at him and watched as he cleaned up the kitchenette before turning around to see her looking his way.

"Want a drink?" he asked.

"None for me thank you," Janey whispered faintly.

"Mind if I have a beer?" Adam asked as he pulled a cold bottle of beer from the fridge.

Janey shrugged, "It doesn't bother me."

Adam sat back down beside her, stretched out comfortably and opened his drink. He took a deep drink then sighed with pleasure as he rested his arm along the back of the lounge towards Janey.

Janey glanced towards him aware of his arm lying on the back of the lounge, of him sitting on the lounge with her instead of in the recliner chair. She turned her attention back to the tv and after a few minutes she glanced at him again.

"Is something wrong?" Adam asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Janey mumbled as she hunched her shoulders slightly and fixed her attention on the tv. 

She felt the need for human contact but was too uncertain of herself to say anything to Adam or move closer to him. She chanced another quick glance at him and looked away quickly when she caught him looking at her. She heard him moving on the lounge and then she felt the lounge dip slightly as he moved to sit beside her. Then she felt the warmth radiating from his body as he settled comfortably. After a few minutes she tensed but he merely laid his arm on the back of the lounge near her head without touching her.

Adam felt Janey flinch when he finally put his arm around her shoulders but she flinched into him instead of away from him and quickly settled against his side. When he had finished his drink he put the empty bottle on the floor at his feet, settled back comfortably and pulled Janey against his side a bit more firmly. He felt her move slightly then snuggle into his side and rest her head against him.

"Comfortable?" Adam asked after a few minutes.

"Mmmm," Janey murmured contentedly. She lifted her head to find Adam watching her and when he lowered his head she closed her eyes and accepted the kiss he brushed lightly over her lips.

Adam felt her lips part beneath his but forced himself to keep the kiss light as he brushed his lips backwards and forwards across hers. 

Janey moaned softly in disappointment as his lips left hers and she opened her eyes reluctantly to look up at him.

"We will just take it slowly," Adam told her huskily as he gazed at her softly parted lips before turning his attention back to the tv.

Janey snuggled closer into his side and turned her head to watch tv. The warmth of his body next to hers felt good and she sat there quite relaxed. Gradually her eyes drifted closed as she fell asleep cuddled against his side.

Adam moved slightly and felt Janey's body follow him as he leant to the side; he turned his head to look down at her and discovered that she was asleep. Gently he eased her away from him and she woke abruptly as cool air hit her side.

Janey sat up and looked around dazedly as Adam held her steady, "What?" she asked sleepily.

"I need to go to the toilet," Adam said softly. He was reluctant to move her away from him; her body felt so nice snuggled up against his side.

"Oh," Janey said as she sat up moving away from him. She blinked sleepily and watched him head for the toilet. She was wide-awake when he returned shortly and she smiled almost shyly when he sat down beside her once again.

"Do you want to go to bed? You can use my bed and I'll sleep out here on the lounge. Don't worry it folds down into a daybed," Adam told her quietly.

"I wouldn't mind watching this movie. I'm sorry about falling asleep before. It's just that I seem to fall asleep all the time at the moment," Janey said somewhat embarrassed.

"I'll take it as a compliment that you seemed to feel comfortable enough to fall asleep when you cuddle up to me," Adam said sounding quite pleased.

"Actually I do feel safe around you," Janey admitted as she glanced at him then ducked her head shyly when he turned her head to look her way.

"Good. You should feel safe," Adam said, his voice thick with satisfaction.

Janey tilted her head back to look at him and he slowly lowered his head giving her time to refuse his kiss if she wanted. She turned her face to the side slightly to give him unhindered access to her lips and sighed softly at the first light brush of his mouth on hers.

Adam kissed Janey lightly, resisting the temptation to deepen the kiss until she boldly traced his lips with the tip of her tongue and slipped it between his lips as he opened his mouth to her.

Janey was breathing heavily when Adam finally broke off the kiss and she opened her eyes reluctantly to look at him. He was watching her through eyes heavy lidded with passion and when she ran the tip of her tongue over her sensitive lips she heard his breath catch harshly.

Adam lowered his head and kissed her once again only this time there was nothing tentative about it as he explored her mouth. He moved his lips across her cheek to just beneath her ear before nibbling his way down the side of her neck. He heard her sigh of pleasure as his hand cupped her breast and massaged her breast as he sucked gently at the skin where her neck joined her shoulder.

Impatiently Janey slid her hands down his chest to undo the buttons on his shirt so she could smooth her hands across his chest while he explored the soft skin of her neck. Slowly she traced her fingertips over the muscles in his shoulders and upper arms and tilted her head to the side as his lips trailed up her neck to nibble on her earlobe.

Adam lifted Janey to sit her astride his lap facing him then lowered his head to kiss her lips hungrily.

Janey moaned softly against his mouth as she moved restlessly against him. She gasped in protest as Adam raised his head abruptly.

"I'm sorry," Adam gasped as he looked down into her dazed eyes." I didn't mean to hurt you or scare you," he said softly as he raised one hand to brush her hair back off her face.

"You stopped!" Janey protested softly as she leant forward to rest her head against his shoulder. This brought her breasts into contact with his torso once again and she groaned as she moved against him restlessly.

"You okay?" Adam asked with concern at her groan and Janey raised her head to look at him.

"I'm not okay. You got me all wet and now you stop!" Janey protested as she squirmed on his lap. Feeling the hard ridge in the crotch of his jeans against her inner thigh she stilled as she met his gaze with knowing eyes. Janey smiled softly as she moved so that she straddled his lap closer to his body and the hard ridge of his erection rested against the empty throbbing ache between her legs. Slowly she began moving against him, feeling the length of him rubbing against the denim that covered her swollen moist sex.

"Oh God," Adam groaned as he grasped her hips meaning to hold her still, but his arms had a mind of their own as he guided her movements against him.

Janey could feel the growing moisture between her thighs and trembled with the frustration of the sensations their movements caused.

"We should stop," Adam said as he raised one hand to clasp the back of Janey's neck and pull her head toward him for his kiss.

Janey moaned in pleasure against his mouth and reached down between them to cup him through his jeans.

"Fuck!" Adam swore into her mouth as she stroked him and Janey chuckled against his mouth as she revelled in her power. "That's it!" he exclaimed as he eased her off of his lap and got to his feet. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to his room where he laid her gently on his bed.

Janey looked up into his face, she couldn't see his expression as the light was behind him and his face was in shadow. But Janey felt no fear only arousal and she smiled up at him as he leant over her. She felt his hands at her waist as he searched for the hem of her shirt. She sat up so she could pull the edge of her shirt from the waistband of her jeans and pull the shirt off over her head.

Adam found the fastenings of her jeans and he hesitated as he tried to see the expression on her face.

"It's okay," Janey said softly in reassurance when he hesitated.

"You sure?"

"Yes," She whispered softly and lifted her hips up off the bed as he tried to ease her jeans down her body.

Adam dropped her clothes within easy reach then turned his attention to shedding his own shirt and jeans. He glanced at Janey in time to see her drop her bra over the edge of the bed and then he climbed onto the bed with her. He stretched out beside her and looked down into her face but his shadow fell across her, covering all expression on her face.

Janey felt the feather light caress of his hand on her cheek before his lips brushed over hers gently, she opened her mouth beneath his and sucked his tongue into her mouth when it slipped past her teeth.

"If you want me to stop just say so," Adam said then nibbled her earlobe. He worked his way down her neck, across her collarbone then down her chest until his lips brushed a nipple. He felt the jerk of her body and raised his head fearing he had moved too fast for her. "Is this ok? Does it feel good?" he asked huskily.

"Please keep going," Janey said as she arched her body towards his. She gasped as his lips closed around her nipple and he suckled gently at her breast. Pleasure swamped her as he took turns sucking and licking first one nipple then the other. She wasn't aware of his hand as it stroked a path down over her ribcage and stomach before coming to rest cupping her mound through her knickers.

Adam felt Janey tense and clamp her legs together as his hand came to rest on the damp fabric between her thighs. She trembled a moment then opened her legs with a soft sigh. He shifted his attention from the hard pebble of her nipple that was in his mouth to the other breast and he felt that nipple pucker as he swirled his tongue around it before sucking it into his mouth firmly.

Janey opened her legs wider as his fingers found their way under the damp material that covered her mound. She bit her bottom lip as his fingers slid between her slick folds and brushed against the hard nub of her clit before finding the slick entrance of her passage.

Adam lifted his head and moved up to kiss Janey hungrily as he slid two fingers backwards and forwards over her slit, he worked his way up to find the firm nubbin of her clit and circled it with his fingers as she moaned into his mouth and grasped at his shoulder and upper arm. He moved his fingers back down to where the wetness was seeping from her body and slid two fingers into her passage then began moving them in and out as he began to finger fuck her.

Janey thrust against his hand and she moaned her pleasure into his mouth. Shortly he lifted his head and she made little whimpers of pleasure as his hand continued its movement. He smiled faintly at the uninhibited sounds of pleasure that came from her as he continued his ministrations. 

Adam glanced around; he spotted his bedside drawers and knew he had condoms in there. Slowly he eased his fingers from her passage and began to push her knickers down off of her hips. She lifted her hips to help him and waited soundlessly as he removed his boxers and reached for a condom. Quickly he rolled it onto himself and then he moved up and over her body positioning himself between her thighs.

Janey opened her thighs wide she felt his erection brush against her slick flesh and his hand was down there between their bodies as he guided his rigid cock to her slit. Then he was pushing into her and Janey gasped as he thrust up into her tense body. The discomfort was only slight and soon faded as he began moving eagerly. She wrapped her legs around his hips and began moving in rhythm with him.

Adam groaned then took her lips in a hard kiss as he pushed into her with slow hard thrusts. He trailed his lips down across her cheek and began nuzzling against her neck as he continued to move.

Janey arched her neck back and she felt his lips trailing across her skin. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensations as he thrust into her body, pulled out until only the head of his cock was still inside her and then thrust in hard until his balls slapped against her arse.

Adam groaned against Janey's neck as he fucked in hard steady thrusts. He could feel the muscles inside her passage gripping him with each withdrawal and then again each time he pushed back inside her. Gradually the pressure began building up inside of him and he began moving faster. He turned his face away from her neck and reached down to grasp her hips as he began to increase his pace.

Janey pulled her legs higher as she began moving more urgently with his urgings. She hooked her heels behind the small of his back and moved against him eagerly.

Adam gritted his teeth as he felt his pleasure building with a tingle in his balls before releasing with a rush up through his cock only to be caught in the condom he wore. He slumped against her and felt her frustrated movements beneath him. After a few moments he managed to roll off of her. 

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you." Adam promised as he reached down between her thighs to the slick, warm passage where he had been moments before. He slid his fingers between her slick folds and entered her body with two fingers. He heard her gasp of pleasure as his thumb found her clit and he began working his hand. He could feel the beginning of ripples of her inner muscles as he worked his hand and then the muscles gripped his fingers tightly as she came on his hand. She clamped her thighs together tightly unmindful of the fact his hand was still there and Adam listened to her as her breathing steadied and her body began to relax.

Janey felt Adam withdraw his fingers from her passage and then slip from the bed. 

"I'll be back in a moment." Adam whispered softly.

Janey rolled onto her side with her back to him and listened as he walked from the room and moved around the flat. Soon she heard the toilet flush and knew that he had dealt with the used condom. His body was warm as he climbed into bed behind her and cuddled her close. She murmured faintly as if asleep and allowed him to cuddle her against his chest. 

Long after Adam had fallen asleep Janey lay in his arms wide-awake. While she certainly had not expected fireworks or to feel the earth move, she had expected to feel something more than just physical release.

* * * * *

Janey awoke the next morning to the feel of a warm hard body; a thigh with coarse hair lay between her legs and a hand rested in the small of her back keeping her against his body. Slowly Janey opened her eyes to see Adam's face near hers on the pillow as he lay facing her. Sleep softened his face leaving him looking younger then when he was awake. She smiled then yawned, stretching her body and arching it to rub sensually against his.

Adam woke as he felt the slide of very feminine curves against his body. He tightened the arm that held it to him and gave a groan of male satisfaction as he felt the nipples against his chest form hard little pebbles.

Janey wriggled against him as she felt the rigid length push against her lower stomach. She ran her hands over the muscles of his shoulders and upper arms liking the feeling of the definition of his muscles.

"Hmmm, good morning," Adam murmured sleepily as he opened his eyes to look at her.

" Mornin'," Janey murmured and then hid her burning face against the crook of his neck. 

"Hey, you okay?" Adam asked concerned as he realised she was embarrassed.

"Yeah," Janey mumbled against his neck.

Adam eased her away from his body to look down at her with concern. Was she regretting the previous night? He wondered as he searched her eyes. "What's wrong?" he persisted gently.

"Nothing," Janey said and tried to turn her face away but Adam gently prevented her from doing so. Seeing the concern on his face she blushed again and dropped her gaze to his chest hoping he would kiss her when she made no further comment.

"Janey?" 

"I wanted you to fuck me last night," Janey whispered at the sound of uncertainty in his voice. Then she leaned in to kiss him on the mouth for several long moments before glancing down at his throat. "I wanted it from before you first kissed me," she whispered glancing up and meeting his eyes for a moment with an unsteady smile.

Understanding dawned on Adam; Janey was embarrassed because she had pursued him the previous night. What he didn't realise was that for Janey it was the first time she had not feared and fought her desires for a man. Slowly Adam lowered his head and kissed her gently, taking his time to savour her soft lips.

Janey reached between them to grasp the rigid shaft that pushed against her stomach and worked her hand up and down it for several seconds as Adam continued to kiss her. "Is this a pissing horn or morning wood?" Janey asked quietly when Adam trailed his lips across her cheek to seek the soft skin of her neck just below her ear.

"What do you want it to be?" Adam asked as he began thrusting against her fist.

Janey pushed away from him and as Adam frowned she disappeared down under the covers.

Adam gasped and jerked as he felt her warm wet mouth engulf the head of his cock and start to slide up and down the hard shaft of his cock, gradually taking more and more into the wet warmth. He groaned and rolled onto his back as he felt her throat working as she engulfed his entire shaft in her mouth. She kept working on his cock for a few minutes before he felt the wet warmth leave then she appeared from under the covers, a wide smile on her lips as she moved to straddle his hips.

"Wait!" Adam commanded and reached for a foil packet on the bedside drawers.

Janey took the foil packet from his hands and ducked her head knowing that he would not see her momentary hurt from his actions as she tore it open with her teeth. Quickly she rolled the latex sheath onto his cock and then leant forward, supporting her weight on one arm while she reached between them with her other hand. She wrapped her fingers around his hot hard cock and pumped her hand up and down a couple of times before she carefully guided the thick head to her wet opening. Slowly she began to ease down onto him until she felt the head slip into her slick passage. She gasped and lifted her head to look at Adam, who was watching her with an intense look on his face. She waited several moments as her body adjusted to his invasion and then began pushing down against his hips. With each push she felt him slide a little deeper before she lifted up until just the head of his cock was inside of her.




Shattered Dreams Ch. 06



Adam groaned as finally he felt himself slide balls deep into Janey; he reached up to grasp her hips and pull her down hard against his hips as he pushed up into her. He heard a soft moan escape her and he stopped moving thinking he had hurt her; glancing up at her face he saw the way she had her head flung back in pleasure. Her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted as he eased her slowly up until just the head of his cock was in her and once again pulled her slowly down against his hips. Another soft sound came from her as her pelvic bone pushed against his and he realised that they were sounds of pleasure coming from her. 

Janey opened her eyes as she felt her release quickly building low in her stomach and she looked down at Adam where he lay watching the play of emotions across her face.

He reached up and cupped her breasts in his hands and Janey leaned forward to allow him better contact. He pinched her nipples then rolled them between his fingers as she gasped and ground her hips against his. He slid one hand down over her nearly flat stomach and found the curls at the apex of her thighs. His fingers slid through the slickness there to find the hard nub of her clit and circled it causing her to gasp and grind against his hips faster. He felt the strong ripple of her inner muscles as her release found her and she collapsed against his chest weakly as she struggled to catch her breath.

Janey rested her cheek on his chest and closed her eyes for a few seconds as Adam stroked her back in long soothing strokes. She grinned against his chest as she began to catch her breath; she could still feel him hard and erect inside her. She moved her hips experimentally and felt pleasure start to radiate once again as he moved within her body. His hands stroked down her back to cup her bottom as he began moving once again.

Adam felt Janey tense slightly as he gripped her hips to guide her movements; he slid one hand into her hair and the other one lower over her bottom as he prepared to roll her beneath him.

Suddenly Janey began struggling and pushing against his chest as she protested, "I don't wanta do this! I don't wanta do this!" 

Not knowing what was happening only that something was dreadfully wrong for Janey, Adam let her go and rolled away from her. She scrambled away from him and fell to the floor as she crawled away from him.

"Janey sweetheart! Janey!" Adam tried desperately to reach her but she was lost in her own terror as she scrambled backwards until she was cowering against the wall.

Janey sat on the floor shuddering and shaking as she looked away from Adam. She heard him speaking to her but she didn't respond as she pulled her knees up against her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her face against her knees.

"Janey? Janey you okay? Janey?" Adam kept asking as he eased closer to her on the floor.

Janey couldn't control the shudders that racked her slight frame as she sat huddled against the wall.

"Janey? Are you all right? Can I touch you?" Adam persisted. When there was no reply from her he reached out cautiously and placed a hand on her shoulder. He felt a shudder pass through her but she didn't protest his touch. Carefully he gathered her into his arms and picked her up to carry her back to bed. Gently he laid her on the bed and cuddled her cold body against his as he wrapped the covers around them.

"Please don't fuck me up the arse!" Janey begged and began sobbing as she buried her face in the pillow.

"Oh God!" The exclamation of horror escaped him as everything fell into place. Janey panicking as his hand had rested over her butt cheeks covering the place where her rosebud was hidden. He rested his head against the back of her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the skin there. "I would never hurt you like that!" he said as he cuddled her close and tried to soothe her fears.

Adam continued to stroke her back soothingly and murmur quietly to her until her sobs subsided to quiet hiccuping little gasps and her breath came in soft murmurs. Finally when she had stopped crying and was quiet he cuddled up close to her back, ignoring the way she tensed up and settled down to just hold her.

* * * * * 

Adam woke over an hour later and frowned as he looked at his bedside clock. It was time to get up but Janey was still fast asleep in his arms and he didn't want to wake her up after her fright earlier.

He groaned his annoyance as he rolled away from Janey and reached for his cell phone where it sat beside the unused foil packets on the bedside drawers. He flipped it open and pressed the speed dial button that would call his work office. After several moments he left a brief message with one of the officers on duty that he would be in to work nearly two hours late this morning. He flipped the phone shut and reached out to place it on the drawers once again. A small movement caught his attention and he looked down to find Janey awake but motionless.

"Hey little Darlin'. You feeling better now?" Adam asked gently.

Janey nodded her head without meeting his eyes and waited for him to speak once again.

"I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable before. I would never have touched you that way if I had known it would make you feel so uncomfortable," Adam said gently then lent in to kiss her cheek. "How does pancakes with syrup, apple juice and scrambled eggs sound for breakfast?" he asked lightly as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"Do you want me to cook it?" Janey asked faintly without looking at him.

"No, I am suggesting we go out to a place I know for breakfast. But if you prefer I can go get the food and bring it back here while you have a shower," Adam said lightly.

"You'd leave me here alone?!" Janey asked worriedly as she sat up holding the covers against her chest.

"You would have to feel comfortable with it for me to do that," Adam said lightly. He reached out and took hold of the covers she held in her hand and pulled gently on them.

Janey hesitated a few moments then let the covers slip from her hand as she fixed her gaze on his naked chest. She felt one of his hands curl behind her neck and pull her head towards him gently. His lips settled over hers briefly before he released her and got out of bed.

"I got the shower first," He called to her over his shoulder before leaving the room.

Janey blinked dazedly at the empty doorway. Was this how it was supposed to feel when he didn't force you? She wondered. So empty, so lacking in... in... in something?



Shattered Dreams Ch. 07



Janey held her wallet tightly in her hand as she waited on the steps of the building where the counselling sessions were being held. The day's session had ended an hour early today and she wanted to surprise Adam and Robby by getting a taxicab to the station and walking in to surprise them. Her fear of being out by herself was as great as ever but the focus for her in today's session had been how to reclaim her independence and to learn to get about on her own and feel safe while she did it.

"Here's the taxi cab Janetta. Are you sure you want to do this?" Amy Martin asked. Amy was the co-ordinator of the counselling sessions and when Janey's counsellor had approached her with Janey's desire to be able to move around the city by herself, Amy had talked to Janey and decided that the best thing would be for her to arrange a taxicab to the police station for Janey.

"I want to be normal," Janey insisted and Amy caught the note of desperation in her voice.

"Okay then. I will walk you down to the taxi, but then it is up to you. The taxi will take you to the front entrance of the police station. You get out there, go inside and go to the third floor," Amy told Janey for maybe the sixth time. "I have already contacted the station and your friend Adam Saunders will be waiting for you to arrive."

Janey nodded as she reached for the handle of the door on the taxicab. She swallowed the urge to vomit as she opened the door and got into the backseat. She was dimly aware of Amy giving the address of the police station to the female cab driver and then the vehicle was pulling away into traffic.

The ride to the station seemed to take forever and when the cab finally came to a stop outside the station Janey fumbled awkwardly as she as she paid for the ride with visibly shaking hands.

"Do you want me to sit here and make sure you get inside the building?" The cabbie asked.

"Would you?" Janey turned scared eyes towards the driver once again.

"Sure thing love. You seem a bit shaky," The woman remarked casually. She was often called to take people needing transport from the health centre to various places around the city.

Janey smiled nervously at the woman. "Thank you." she said then got out of the cab uneasily. She shut the vehicle door and stood still for a moment as she took a deep breath and forced herself to walk towards the doorway. She paused in the doorway with a sigh of relief and turned to look back at the cab that was still sitting at the curb. The driver gave a brief wave then pulled out into traffic.

Inside the building Janey stepped into a lift with several other women and two children. The lift stopped at each floor and some people got out while others got in. Finally the doors opened to the third floor and Janey hurried out into the corridor. She glanced one way and then the other not sure which way to go. Seeing an officer at a front desk not to far away she made her way to the desk and waited her turn to speak to him.

"Yes may I help you?" He asked when it was her turn.

"I... I'm here to see Adam Saunders," She stammered nervously.

"Down to the end of the hall on the right and he should be in the large squad room on the left. Next please..."

Janey turned away from the service desk and headed along the hallway nervously. Here and there were rough dirty looking people sitting on bench seats of waiting by doorways. Reaching the large room she paused in the doorway and looked around for Adam. She couldn't see him but there were several open doors off the room that officers walked in and out of as they went about their work.

"Can I help you Miss?" The voice was masculine but soft and soothing and Janey looked towards it. The older man gave her a reassuring smile as she glanced at him nervously.

"I...I...I'm looking f... for Adam Saunders," Janey stuttered nervously, her unease increasing.

"I'll just give him a buzz on his phone and he can come out here," The officer said and picked up the phone on his desk. He punched in a couple of numbers and waited as it rang. "Saunders, you got a visitor here at my desk...Oh and I forgot to tell you Janetta Wilkinson will be dropping in to see you... Yeah, okay then." The officer hung up the phone and turned to Janey with a smile. "He'll be out here in a minute or so. You can take a seat over by the window if you like."

Janey moved over where he had pointed and stood shifting from foot to foot nervously as she waited. After a few minutes Adam appeared out of one of the doorways and headed to the desk where Janey had spoken to the officer. The officer pointed over towards Janey and Adam turned to face her.

"Janey! How did you get here?" Adam asked surprised as he walked over to her.

"By taxi," Janey answered with a pleased smile.

"Well, come into my office and I'll get you a cup of tea to drink," Adam said as he guided her towards the door he had emerged from.

Janey had been attending counselling for three days now and had been staying with Adam in his flat each night. She spent an hour of an evening with her brother before he had to leave for work. And though she suspected her brother was aware that she and Adam were sleeping together so far he had not broached the subject with her.

Adam pulled a chair out from his desk for Janey to sit on and stepped close as he put his arms around her and kissed her quickly on the lips. He picked up his own empty coffee cup from his desk. "I'll just go get that drink for you," he told her and headed back out into the squad room.

Janey waited impatiently for him to return and when he did he also had a plate of sandwiches to go with the drinks.

"I missed lunch," he said by way of explanation as he placed the tray containing a cup of tea and one of coffee plus the plate of sandwiches on the desk. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked as he pushed the plate towards her.

"I'm right thanks," Janey told him as she reached for her cup of tea. She glanced up to find him watching her with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Aren't you supposed to finish at three o'clock today?" Adam asked.

"I got an early mark," Janey said with a smile.

"Well you are certainly happy to be here. Who dropped you off?" He asked as he reached for a sandwich.

"I came here by myself in a taxi. I did it. All by myself," Janey said proudly.

"Well done!" Adam praised around a mouthful of food. "I am so proud of you!" He ran his eyes over the low cleavage of her top and grinned as she blushed. He couldn't help noticing that she had started to fill out more in the bust since he had first met her.

"Do you know if Robby is at work yet this afternoon?" Janey asked.

"No he doesn't start until six," Adam said. "Did you want to see him for some reason?"

"I was just asking if he was at work," Janey said as she looked away. She wanted to share her achievement with her brother as well.

"I only have another three quarters of an hour before I quit for the day. Do you want me to call a taxi so you can go back to the flat or do you want to wait around here?" Adam asked.

"I'll wait here. I can read a magazine or something. I won't get in the way." Janey rushed to reassure him.

Adam glanced at the clock on his desk with a frown and made a mental note to make sure they were out of the building no later than three-thirty.

"As long as you don't mind sitting around quietly while I do paperwork. I have some cases to check over and possible leads to follow up on before I go," he told her.

Janey picked up a magazine from the top of a second desk and walked over to a chair and sat down. She glanced at the magazine and discovered it was several months old. Idly she began to flip through the pages pausing to read an article here and there. She found an interesting article on a popular celebrity and looked at the photos that went with the article in stunned silence.

The face of Colin Farrell looked so familiar, and yet not. She gave a startled gasp as she realised he reminded her of Ren. Hurriedly she glanced up to see if Adam had heard her but he had his head bent over his paperwork. She hugged the magazine to herself for a second before turning back to it. Janey studied the picture, noting the slight differences.

"The hair is too dark. In fact the entire complexion is wrong. The hair should be an almost sun streaked blonde, with faint traces of ginger in the goat. The eyes should be green not brown and the eyebrows not as bushy with more of an arch to them." Janey paused in her thoughts and lifted her head to look at Adam where he was busily working at his desk before she turned her attention to the pictures once again. "And the mouth is wrong, both lips should be full not just the bottom one. And surely Colin Farrell was shorter than Ren, the height should be more like James' height of six foot two or even an inch or two more." Janey mused to herself before shutting the magazine abruptly and tossing it aside. She didn't want to remember the way one corner of Ren's mouth seemed always on the verge of curling into a half smile, the broad width of his shoulders and chest that was filled out with well-toned muscles.

Janey got to her feet and began pacing the room as she tried to still her errant thoughts.

"He's in the past, a part of her past that was best left undisturbed like a nearly forgotten nightmare," Janey told herself as she came to a halt facing Adam's desk. Adam was watching her with a frown and she realised he had spoken to her but she had been too lost in her thoughts to hear him.

"Are you okay?" Adam repeated his question when Janey stopped pacing agitatedly and stood facing him for several seconds.

"Yeah, just thinking too much," Janey said refusing to glance towards the magazine.

"I'll be finished here in ten maybe fifteen minutes," Adam said. "Will you be right until then?" he asked.

Janey gave a faint shrug, "Sure, should be." She watched him for a few moments as he turned his attention back to the paperwork. 

"I might go grab myself another drink," she said and went over to retrieve her wallet from where she had been sitting. She paused a moment as she looked at the magazine beside her wallet, grabbed her wallet and turned towards the door.

Out in the squad room Janey made her way to a machine that dispensed cans of drink and fed it coins then pushed the button for a bottle of spring water. She collected the cold bottle from the slot in the machine, opened it and took a drink before turning around to head back towards Adam's office.

She paused as some faint sound caught her attention. The familiar sound caused warmth to fill her body and suffuse into her blood like potent liqueur. She felt her breasts swell and her nipples pucker into hard little nubs, a strong pull started radiating low in her hips and shooting up to her breasts. Even her lips tingled as if she had been kissed thoroughly while pleasure sent the hair on her head standing on end with electrifying pleasure. Between her thighs she felt the quick flow of moisture and the throbbing ache that signalled her arousal.

Janey turned to face the sound, tremors of excitement making her hands shake as she held her drink. The solid sound of booted steps outside the entrance into the squad room had Janey watching warily, the sound eerily familiar. The door swung open and Janey froze as three figures moved through the doorway into the room. The first figure was so riveting Janey could not take her eyes away from him as he halted at the front desk. His head turned and her blue eyes met startling green ones. Suddenly those intense eyes were all she saw as everything else receded around her. She trembled slightly, her small movement breaking the connection between them and a soft gasp came from her as Ren turned away from the desk and took a step towards her.

The captain quickly assessed the situation and started calling men for assistance, "Saunders! Saunders get the hell out here now! Ashton! Blake! Franks! Jacobson! Here now!"

The voice sounded distant and didn't really register with Janey as she watched the corner of a full sensual mouth turned up in a half smile. She heard the rush of movement but it made no impression on her as she gazed at the familiar face.

"Is it memories triggered by the picture in the magazine?" She wondered, "Is my mind playing tricks?" Confusion reigned as memories seemed to blend with reality. She could almost even smell his spicy aftershave.

Janey screamed as she was grabbed from behind and dragged backwards. Finally eye contact was broken and Janey began struggling against the strong arms that held her. She saw a blur of movement in front of her just as she was turned away and she desperately turned her head to see what was going on.

"Let me go! Let me go! I don't want this! I don't want this! Let me go, just please let me go!" Janey screamed in her own private hell as memories crowded into her mind and became confused with the reality of now.

"Janey, Janey, it's okay. It's okay, they can't hurt you." The voice near her head had no meaning for Janey as she sobbed and struggled.

"Get the fuck off her you mongrel!" Ren yelled as he saw Sky being manhandled.

Janey was sobbing almost hysterically as she turned towards Ren's voice. "Please let me go, why can't you just let me go?" she sobbed as she struggled against the arms holding her.

"Sky! It's all right! I'm here to turn myself in. It'll be alright!" Ren yelled as he realised in her fear she was turning to him for protection like before. 

In the jumble of memories fighting with reality Janey's mind clung to the one thing it knew it could trust, that voice and those eyes.

Adam felt Janey finally stop struggling and he managed to turn her away from the sight of the two men being physically restrained on the floor of the squad room and the woman who had come in with them being forcibly held away from the scene of the struggle.

"Get her in your office now Saunders!" Adam heard his commanding officer yell and he pulled a barely struggling Janey back to his office and shut the door after them.

"It's alright Janey, they can't hurt you. You're safe here, you're safe.' Adam crooned softly as he cradled her against his chest. He could feel the shudders that ran through her body, and gently he began to stroke her back to calm her trembling.

"What the hell is she doing still here?" Adam's commanding officer demanded as he barged into the room.

Janey gasped and jerked out of Adam's arms. She stumbled away from him hurriedly and turned away as she fought for control of her emotions.

"They're early! I planned to be out of here at least three-quarters of an hour before they were due to turn up!" Adam said as he watched Janey worriedly.

"What is happening?" Janey asked thickly as she turned towards Adam and his boss. She had both arms crossed against her body and she held herself tightly but her trembling was now under control as was her tears.

"There is nothing for you to worry yourself about Miss, you are perfectly safe here," the commanding officer said in an attempt to reassure her.

"What are they doing out there? What is going on?" Janey pressed.

"They are being placed under arrest and charges will be laid against them. They will be held responsible for their part in your ordeal," the older man explained.

Janey turned to Adam and pressed her face against his chest. She felt his arms tighten around her and tried to tell herself how comforting they felt. She tried to close her mind to thoughts of another person who made her feel safe by just being around.

"As soon as the coast is clear I am taking her out of here," Adam said to his superior. 

The older man nodded and glanced at Janey were she was once again visibly trembling in Adam's arms. "I'll go hurry things along."

"Janey, do you think you will be able to walk out to my car in a few minutes?" Adam asked softly. He felt the slight movement as Janey nodded against his chest.

Several minutes later there was a faint knock at the door and Adam led Janey from the room. She looked around the squad room quickly but there was no sign of the two male figures from before. She allowed Adam to guide her through the room quickly and then out into the hallway.

"Janey, I'm sorry about grabbing you like that but it was the quickest way to get you to safety." Adam tried to explain as he led her along the hallway.

Janey stopped and Adam went several steps without her before he realised she had stopped. "Don't grab me like that! Don't ever grab me like that! Did you stop to think what being grabbed would feel like to me? Did you stop and wonder what thoughts would rush through my head?" Janey demanded, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion. "They were the ones who protected me as much as they could! Do you think I knew it was you who had hold of me?" Janey yelled and then ran past him towards the elevator.

* * * * *

Janey sat curled up in the recliner chair in Adam's flat. They had gone to the flat from the police station over two hours ago and since then Janey had huddled in the chair uncommunicative.

Deciding to try to force her to break her silence Adam made her a cup of tea and a plate of sandwiches and carried them over to her. He placed them on the floor beside her and adjusted the chair so that she was sitting up once again not reclining back.

Janey came out of her half doze and looked around startled; Adam squatted beside where she sat in the chair. 

Adam picked up a cup of tea from beside her chair and pressed it into her hands before picking up the plate of sandwiches and placing it on her lap. "Eat up. You need to look after yourself for the baby's sake," he told her gruffly and sat on the end of the lounge nearest her. "Feel a bit better now?" he asked quietly.

"I'm okay," Janey said flatly.

"You don't sound so great," Adam said with concern.

"I want to go home," Janey said dully.

"Janey, you have two days of counselling left. You had been saying how important it is for you," Adam reminded her gently.

"I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here," Janey said as she shook her head.

"You don't want to be here in this flat with me? Is that it? I can sleep out here on the lounge," Adam told her.

Janey looked towards him miserably, "It's not that, it's not us, it's ... it's... oh! I can't explain!" she said tearfully as she turned her face away.

"Let me guess. It's what happened today. Those two being arrested and you seeing it; you knew it was going to happen but it didn't really seem real, like it wouldn't happen. Not like that," Adam said softly.

Janey turned a tear-streaked face towards him. "Why arrest them? They helped me, one of them even bought me my tickets home!" she protested.

"But they never stopped the others raping you, and how long did it take to buy you a ticket home? Over four weeks!" Adam said forcing himself to remain calm despite his anger.

Janey looked at Adam and knew it was useless trying to explain how things had been; no matter what he would find something he believed they had done wrong. Defeated she lowered her head and let the tears fall freely.

Feeling helpless Adam reached over and rubbed her back gently. He had watched families go through many varied reactions but he had never watched anyone he cared about go through the process before. "It'll be all right, everything will work out; you'll see." He tried to reassure her.

A loud knock at the door interrupted what Adam was going to add and he got to his feet reluctantly to answer the door. He opened the front door and was startled to find Robby on his doorstep.

"I just got a concerned call from your boss. How is she?" Robby demanded as he walked past Adam and headed into the flat. He hesitated when he caught sight of his sister sitting in the chair crying, then he walked over to her. He took the plate and cup, put them aside and pulled Janey up into a hug.




Shattered Dreams Ch. 07



Adam watched Robby hold his sister as she cried. He kept patting her back gently and when she spoke declaring it wasn't fair he just kept repeating, 'I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know'

Finally Robby found that Janey had stopped crying and he gently eased her away from him and when he saw how shaky she was he urged her to sit down.

"What was Janey doing at the station today?" Robby demanded of Adam when he looked at him.

"Janey managed to use a taxi to travel there from counselling by herself," Adam said levelly.

"Did you?" Robby asked brightly with surprise and pride in his sister.

Janey nodded and looked up at her brother. She longed to ask him all the questions that Adam had not answered to her satisfaction but knew that to ask him would only make him angry.

"She didn't know they were coming in?" Robby asked of Adam.

Resenting the way her brother was talking as if she wasn't in the room Janey got to her feet and stood facing her brother.

"You think you know what's best but you really have no clue!" She spat angrily then turned and walked into the bedroom shutting the door after her. In the room she could hear the muffled voices in the next room so she put the radio on and lay down on the bed. The emotional stress of the events of the day caught up with Janey and she closed her eyes exhaustedly.

As sleep claimed her the soft husky tones surfaced from her memories and green eyes smiled at her as she glanced his way nervously. Janey slipped into the calm dark waters of sleep. Dark menacing forms flickered at the edge of her mind but the memory of that voice and those eyes told her she was safe.

Out in the kitchen Adam watched Robby as he ran a large hand over his face; Robby turned to look at him and shook his head. "Have you told her that they are pleading not guilty yet?" Robby asked quietly.

"No, and I have no intention of telling her until she simply HAS to be told. It is going to absolutely shatter what confidence she has rebuilt for herself," Adam said thickly.

Robby glanced towards the door that led into the bedroom and frowned with worry, "Surely the medical reports will back up what she claims happened."

"The medical reports will hold a lot of sway but if it comes down to a battle in court I don't know if she will have the strength to face them. Well at least with those two handing themselves in today the entire process can start to get moving, it will all move together not drawn out over a period of time with the different defendants," Adam said.

"Why the hell did they come up here to Brisbane to hand themselves in? Weren't they down on the New South Wales and Victoria border when their solicitor contacted detectives in New South Wales?" Robby asked.

"It doesn't matter now; the damage has been done. Janey went to pieces at the station, absolutely freaked out." Adam said. He refrained from telling Robby how she had been unable to understand or accept why they had been being arrested.

"If only the missing persons unit had listened to our family when we tried to tell them that Janey would never have ran away!" Robby exploded angrily.

A soft frightened cry sounded from the bedroom and Adam hurried to the door to open it. He looked into the room and by the light of the bedside lamp he could see Janey tossing fretfully on the bed under a light rug.

"Janey, Janey. You're safe now, you're safe," Adam said softly as he walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He continued to talk to her softly as he reached out and stroked her shoulder. He felt her shudder in her sleep and then slowly settle down at the sound of his voice and his gentle touch.

Robby watched from the doorway and wondered how long it would take before Janey stopped having the nightmares he knew plagued her. Probably years, he admitted to himself as he turned away unhappily. It hurt him deeply to see his once fearless little sister tremble at every shadow and jump at the slightest sound.

"I'd better go Adam. I have to go in to work in half an hour," Robby said.

Adam got to his feet and glanced down at Janey where she slept with only the slightest of tremors. "I'll lock up as you leave," he said and followed Robby to the front door.