19 comments/  70378 views/  140 favorites

Saving Clara Ch. 01

By: winterhunny713



Of course everyone is 18 years of age or older. This story will be a continuing one which is why I focused so much on background. Comments are appreciated. Happy reading! 

*

I slip into reality, I stretch sluggishly my leg clenches with the movement but I push past it and stand rubbing my eyes as I dreamily dress in the room full of cots. Everyone else remains fast asleep, I am careful to be silent as I exit the room. I had barely been able to sleep just thinking about the upcoming party, I had been up late scrubbing the grand hall floor until it gleamed nearly with my own reflection. The house is still and silent this early, the sun hasn't even begun to rise yet, but I am sure the cooks will be busy at work for this evening's festivities. I have come to love Ander Manor, not the company I keep, but the routine and the fact that Lord Ander never pays any mind to me. I had cost him a high price but I never saw his face, for a brief period I feared he was take me as a lover. After a few months he never came to me, the fact was comforting, so I worked harder than I ever had before hoping he would never need to pay me mind.

My leg quakes every time I put weight on it, I hesitate a moment kneading my fingers into the stiffened muscle, the cramp doesn't come so I continue at a brisk walk. The manor is so large, a part of me wishes to explore but Marie, the head servant, does not allow me much free time for any type of leisure activity. I admire the high ceilings, the ornate sweeping archways, the shining floors, even the glorious chandelier at the entrance. I push into the kitchens and shuffle into the buzz of it, no one speaks much but Malan, the head cook, sees me and passes me a sack of potatoes. He edges a knife into my palm and I begin the routine I have become accustomed to, without a word Malan goes back to his own work. I am not required to help the cooks, but they don't curse me or stare at me as everyone else does so I seclude myself with them whenever possible.

I settle into the familiarity of the work my eyes steady on the potatoes lest I cut myself like I had the first time I ran into the kitchens. I am giddy as I think of the party, more than anything I just don't want to mess anything up. This is the first big event I have been present for in his home and if I make a mistake... I dare not let my mind venture there. Lord Ander was known to be quite ruthless in the business world, if I make a mistake and destroy one of those ventures he might sell me. Or worse...

The house had been so new to me, I wasn't one to speak out of turn and most ignored me due to my condition so I was able to listen to the idle gossip that servants can't seem to resist. I was aware of why Lord Ander remained within his rooms when in his home, and although I don't agree with the gossip I keep my mouth shut. I am not interested in drawing attention to myself so I ignore the chattering of them and shut out as much as I can. I finish the sack of potatoes and when I catch Malan's gaze he waves me away, I sigh and wander to the entrance once again. My heart squeezes in my chest as the nerves threaten to take hold, I breathe away the discomfort and start to shift the curtains. I pull open the long deep blue velvet curtains to be greeted with the palest hint of sunrise, "Still too early for that you git."

Marie's voice snaps away the joy of the silent darn, I turn slowly to address her, "Sorry ma'am."

She eyes me, disgust plain on her face as she gazes at my leg, "Lord Ander has risen early to oversee preparations, see to his bedchamber."

I scurry away before she can say anything negative, I shuffle down long halls, passing several guest rooms, his personal library and the room of his late child. I slide into his bedchamber and close the door quietly behind me. I sigh as the weight of eyes lifts from me, I hate that they stare at me, I am aware that they whisper about me as well. Some of them go so far as to say Lord Ander is a sympathizer of cripples, I had already heard a great deal of hurtful things so it hadn't fazed me as much as they might have liked. Nearly everyone in the house found me to be a trial to get along with, though I tried to get them to see past my leg and I had even tried to prove that I could work just as hard. But they didn't care, all they cared about was the fact that I wasn't made quite right, I didn't bother telling them how my leg became twisted and they didn't bother to ask.

Lord Ander's room is all dark tapestries, rich reds and golds, the dreariness of it gets to me each time I enter his room. For some reason he had me designated to turn his bed and see to his room, I am not exactly sure why but the other servants seemed to hate me for my position. Some had even gone so far to ask if I had seen him, asked what was within his room, and I had always said the same thing, 'the same things that are in every Lord's room I imagine'. I remained very polite to the fools with their questions until they eventually stopped asking questions then began to ignore me completely. His bed is the largest I have seen, although it is probably quite small for someone of his stature to me it looks like a bed for a King, his blankets are turned down but otherwise it is not disturbed. I doubt he slept within it the night before, as I roll up the bed and recover it with the decorative pillows I wonder where he goes at night.

Since my arrival his bed had rarely ever been disturbed with his sleep, I smooth the deep red satin cover, the texture is so much like liquid. I think to my rough wool blanket and wonder what it would be like to curl up in this bed... I shake away the dreadful thought, I make sure his room is in order before exiting his room.

The day drags with everyone's stares on me. They don't like me, I have accepted that of most people before even daring to know them, I just ignore them and continue with my duties. I am made to prepare plates of food, placing everything just so, and some of the necessity of it makes my head throb. What is the purpose of making something beautiful when none will appreciate it? I stare at the strawberries expertly cut into beautiful roses, and more exotic things that I would have loved to inspect but Marie is shuffling me from the room, "I expect you to be on your best behavior, otherwise you will feel the sting of my hand."

I bite the inside of my cheek to stem the frustration, "Yes ma'am."

She glares at me a moment longer before shoving me into a new task, I lose track of time as I scurry through the house placing everything perfectly, smoothing tapestries and shining anything that seems even the slightest bit dull. I barely feel content when Marie snatches up my arm and drags me to the entrance, she straightens my uniform before eyeing the slanted way I stand, I ignore her sigh as she walks away. We stand very still as the entrance doors swing open, the guests flow into the manor, their clothes so lavish I cannot even begin to imagine their cost. Most of the guests are quite rotund and that makes me wonder if Lord Ander is round like them, he spends so much time secluded in his bedchamber I am sure it would be easy for him to become so.

I take coats from gentlemen and large fur monstrosities from ladies, they don't even seem to see me, to them I am merely a piece of furniture. My duties keep me distracted for a large part of the evening, I hear of Lord Ander's appearance but there is no way for me to see him and sate the edge of curiosity that is growing inside me, everyone whispers about him occasionally.

"...such a shame..."

"...waste of potential..."

"...why does he bother..."

I cut away the sound of their voices and focus as I serve the beautiful strawberry roses, the guests stuff the beautiful design into their mouths without bothering to even look at it. The sight of them stuffing their chubby faces causes a tumult of acid inside of my weak stomach, I keep my eyes straight ahead and try to ignore the nagging feeling that someone is watching me. I replace the empty tray in the kitchen, I rub my thigh as a cramp starts to build, I don't spend much time easing my ache before I dive back into my work. I catch dark eyes following my movement, I study him from the corner of my eye after acquiring his form, and I am absolutely certain he is following me. The guests have settled into conversations, champagne glasses clicking and the chatter of the room suddenly closes in on me and I can barely breathe until a familiar grip clamps onto my arm.

I turn to Marie, her pale brown eyes are narrowed, "It is time to turn down the beds for the guests that are staying the evening, only the rooms I showed you yesterday."

"Yes ma'am." I manage to slide through the crowd without any sort of disaster occurring and I slip into the halls, the sound of the party dwindles as I get further from them and I am certain the man is following me. Although I have no idea why there is a dreadful pit forming in my stomach, something about his pursuit bothers me on a deeper level than I can comprehend. I keep my pace steady as I consider the situation, before I make a decision I push into the first room, the fire is already set for the guest. I keep my back to the closed door and begin to turn the bed, he wastes no time at all, he enters the room and I turn as he moves toward me. His hands fly toward my throat but I expected as much, I dart to the side and back away from him. His forward momentum carries him to the edge of the bed and he nearly falls upon it, "Are you lost sir?"

I keep my tone quiet and polite even though I am sure I know what he intends to do with me, "Oh no, but you will help me regardless. Come now and suck my cock."

When he reaches for me I shift and grip his wrist, with a slight movement he is on his knees screaming at me, I pull away from him and race from the room. He stumbles after me, he shoves me against the wall and before I can decide what exactly I want to do I am stumbling down the hall. My leg screams in protest as I force my body into a run, something I am unable to do on a good day. Fear and adrenaline forces me forward, my leg begins to cramp and my lungs burn with the effort of keeping panic at bay. I don't bother screaming because no one will hear me, I slam into Lord Ander's chamber hoping to bar myself inside and I nearly scream when I see him. He is settled in a chair near the fire, before I can catch any details of him I fall to my knees, "Please my Lord."

He starts to stand, irritation plain on his face until my tormentor slams into the room, I don't move as the two men study one another, "Marquis Barnett."

The would-be-rapist stops cold, his eyes fly from me to what I can only assume is Lord Ander, he grabs my hair in a death grip, "This wench..."

Lord Ander, I hope, holds up his hand and his eyes are on me, "Please, tell me what happened Clara."

I flinch at the grip in my hair but I do not disobey, "My Lord, he followed me to a room and began to attack me, he demanded I pleasure him, when I moved away from him he tried to force himself upon me."

Lord Ander's eyes are heavy on me, Marquis Barnett twists my hair until I bite my lip to stem the gasp of pain, "She is a liar as well as a trollop."

Lord Ander shifts his attention to the Marquis, "I will ask that you release her immediately, if you do not comply I will execute force and break the hand that restrains her. Do you comprehend my demand?"

His voice is so soft even as he speaks a threat, it makes me tremble to think that violence could be promised with such a velvet voice, "My Lord! She advanced me!"

I clench my hands into fists, barely resisting the urge to scream that he is lying, "Please my Lord, I did not, I did not..."

Lord Ander has not moved from his chair yet I feel overwhelmed by him, "Release her Marquis, I do not wish to harm you."

The Marquis opens his mouth to say something but Lord Ander moves so quickly I can barely register it, the Marquis is on the floor screaming bloody murder and with the release of his grip I slump into the carpet. An older gentleman yanks open the door, "Lord Ander!"

Ander holds up his hands, "I am quite all right Gregor, please see that the Marquis is escorted from the grounds, be sure he understands that he is never to return here and I will not do business with him from this point onward."

After a moment of bustling Gregor manages to gather a few young men to carry the Marquis from the room, I begin to leave but Lord Ander closes the door before I can escape, "I am sorry to have disturbed you my Lord. I knew not what else to do."

I stare into his eyes, the softest shade of gray before I realize what I am doing and drop my eyes to the floor, "Please sit."

I am not sure where exactly he means so I begin to settle on the floor, he grabs both my arms and before I can question him he pushes me onto his broad bed. For an instant fear starts to take hold again but he backs away from me and settles into his chair, a book is lying on the ground and he scoops it up and flips through the pages idly. I knead my hands in my lap, "My Lord I am meant to turn down the beds for your guests."

He doesn't even glance at me, "Yes I have taken care of that, you are shaking like a leaf, just sit for a moment. I will not accept a negative response so you may as well enjoy the feel of a luxurious bed while you can."

There is a cold undertone in his voice that I don't quite understand, "I am fine my Lord, truly I beg you allow me to leave, I do not wish to inconvenience you..."

"Silence." His tone halts my attempt of a speedy getaway, I sit awkwardly on his bed my thigh is still screaming so I massage the muscle slowly. His eyes remain on his task so I take a moment to study him, the firelight casts dark shadows across his cheekbones, everything about him is lean sharp angles, his bare arms ripple with muscle, his jaw is set in a harsh line his lips drawn in a frown, his dark eyebrows downcast and his gray eyes scanning the pages of his book, under the firelight his scars are barely visible. I look away from him and focus on my leg, I dig my fingers into the muscle to ease the pain rising through the damaged muscle, I find a soft spot and begin massaging from there. The tension slowly eases to a steady throb, I sigh as the pain recedes from the muscle, the relief is wonderful and I settle my hands back in my lap.

I dare a glance at Lord Ander, but his eyes are still upon his book, I feel wildly uncomfortable on his bed I begin to stand but that draws his eyes to me, "Are you unable to follow my instruction Clara?"

I knead my hands in my lap, all I want is to leave his bedchamber... His silence makes me feel like I have angered him in some way, the fact that I managed to end a business relation, I bite my lip to stem the fear rising within me, "Are you going to sell me my Lord?"

The question tumbles from me without permission but it is too late to draw it back, he stares at me for a moment, "Why would you ask that?"

"I am the cause of an ended business relation..."

He shrugs, "The Marquis was not my most favored relation, there will be plenty of others, I am quite efficient at drawing people." He seems to find the page he lost, he folds the book on his lap and focuses his gaze on me, "Now, how did you know I was in my bedchamber?"

"I was not aware my Lord, I only knew that I could not run all the way to the ballroom, so I came here..."

His gray eyes are so intense, I try to keep my eyes downcast but they are eternally drawn to his, "And you believed I would assist you?"

I finally manage to keep my eyes down, "I had only hoped you would my Lord."

"And if I had not?"

I look up, his eyes are locked on me, unwavering, "I would have tried to kill him and disappeared thereafter my Lord."

His lips twitch in a faint smile right as a knock breaks our reverie, "Enter." Gregor walks gracefully into the room, he places a tray on a short round table, he pours a cup of tea then backs out of the room in silence. Lord Ander continues to study me for a moment before he stands, he rests his book on the chair and before I can protest he is handing me the cup of tea. I cannot even imagine how improper it is for him to hand me tea, "Take it."

I clutch the heated cup and cradle it in the well of my fingers, he stares at me for a long moment until I finally take a sip of the honey-gold liquid, the taste of it buzzes across my tongue and I sigh. Lord Ander stays beside me, as I finish the last swig of the tea he extends his hand, I don't bother arguing with him at this point, "Thank you my Lord." I want nothing more than to stand but the heat of the tea and the exhaustion of the day are making my body heavy, "I must take my leave."

I start to stand but he presses into my shoulder and I cannot move against his strength, the realization that he is much stronger than me shoots a spark of fear deep into my heart, "I wish you would not look at me so, while I understand Barnett's urge to have you I do not agree with his method and I will not enforce such a carnal approach with you or any woman. You are tired, sore, and I am sure still frightened by your experience, humor me for a while and just remain here. When you feel your strength return you may leave at your convenience."

I stare up at him, the fear ebbing away as I see truth in his stormy eyes, "Yes my Lord."

He moves away from me, "What shall you tell the other servants when you see them tomorrow?"

I don't understand the question at first but when I comprehend his words I roll my eyes before thinking, "The others do not speak to me my Lord, even if they did I would not bother with idle gossip."

"And why would that be Clara?"

It strikes me that he has remembered my name, I wonder if he knows everyone's name by heart, "It is a waste of otherwise useful time, they would only be using me to get what they want and I do not enjoy listening to what they have to say about you." The comfort of the conversation makes me forget myself, "My Lord."

"What is it that they say about me?" His voice is so low, I catch an undertone of menace and it chills me.

I look away from him, "They speak of your scars my Lord, they are curious of your ways, no one ever seems to see you..."

His sigh gathers my attention, "And what say you about my scars?"

I cock my head to the side, "Scars mean nothing to me, my entire leg is a scar, there is nothing for it, nothing can be done, so no time ought to be spent worrying on it, if they do not hinder you then do not hinder yourself because of them. You seem successful, so the scars do not truly matter. Do they my Lord?"

His eyes slide to my leg and I realize that he may have been unaware of my deformity, "My scars would have mattered, I was merely born into a favorable situation, money can buy a lot of things..."

His tone is suddenly downcast, the curious humor gone and the heated irritation dissipated, nothing now but a reflective husk, "Well they do not matter to me my Lord."

His eyes lock on to mine, "You are a proper little actor are you not?"

I stare at him dumb-founded for a moment then I narrow my eyes, "If that is what you wish to believe my Lord you are welcome to think so." I stand, as I rest weight on my right leg pain shoots directly up my spine blaring white-hot pain screams through my skull. I release a soft yelp then my vision swims into darkness and I am plummeting to the floor, a strong arm wraps around my shoulders and I am pulled back to the bed.

Lord Ander is staring down at me, my vision swims back into focus and his gray eyes are locked on my face, "You are staying here tonight." I start to shake my head but pinpricks of pain shoot through me so I resist the urge to move, I manage to sit up, I pull up my skirt revealing the jagged disaster of flesh below. My thigh looks swollen, I touch my fingers to the aching muscle and pain flares through my whole body, it is only then that I realize Lord Ander is staring at my bared flesh but I do not recover myself.


Saving Clara Ch. 01



"I was not lying to you, this scar travels the entire length of my thigh, and my previous master thought it wise to teach with a whip. I know of scars my Lord."

He reaches forward and before I can think to stop him his fingers are on the jagged flesh, he presses his palm to it and I whimper as pain spikes up to my hip, "Why are you so honest Clara?"

I try to pull away from him but his strength hinders any movement away from him, "I have no reason to lie to you my Lord."

His eyes are sharp, cutting through me like fire, I don't dare look away from him, the breadth of his hand is pressed to the sensitive pulse of my thigh. I can make out the finest scarring along his cheek, it trails down the curve of his throat and disappears beneath his shirt and I can barely keep my breath. The heat of his hand on my bare flesh ignites a fire that I don't dare notice, I hold my breath for as long as I can tolerate, his eyes seem to pierce through mine. I can barely stop myself as I drag my eyes across his face, the barest hint of stubble beginning to form on his cheeks. He is so close the heat of the fire no longer matters, all I can feel is his heat, all I can smell is the sweet scent of his soaps, and a masculine undertone that makes my heart tremble. Everything about him is so soft yet so piercing, without even a word he has left me breathless... He finally pulls away from me, "You may sleep there."

He settles back in his chair, he recovers his book and buries himself within without another word. I shove down my skirt, even covered I still feel the press of his hand to my skin, I bite my lip as the power of the moment fades to a vague discomfort in my stomach. I am not exactly sure what I am meant to do, I cannot very well disobey him but at the same time is it not improper for me to sleep in his bed? I stare at my leg, even if I decide to leave I will need help and Lord Ander is unlikely to do so... I glance at him but he seems to have lost interest in me, that fact makes the heat in my blood fade quickly, I am glad for the loss of it. Even with his permission, or demand, I am not exactly sure if he has ordered me to sleep in his bed or if he has just allowed it. I can't just lay in his bed, the very idea of doing so makes me nervous so I just bite my lip and try to ignore him just as he is doing to me until a thought jumps to the front of my mind...

"My Lord?" I watch him, his eyes snap to mine and every fiber of him seems poised for some grand disaster, "Why am I the one to turn your room?"

"While everyone in my employ is competent their curiosity is unbecoming and on occasion some of my items have disappeared or they have left items behind and come back to catch a glimpse of me. You have never done so."

I study him for a long moment, "What are you reading my Lord?"

He narrows his eyes, "That is a highly improper question."

A blush spreads across my cheeks and I bow my head, "Apologies my Lord." I keep my eyes on the floor and the silence spreads between us like a chasm, I am practically gnawing on my lip at this point and I resist the urge to escape the situation. Uncomfortable as it might be I am not going anywhere anytime soon so I slip off my shiny black shoes and flatten my dress as I lay across the foot of his bed. The action is so incredibly awkward I look to him for a reaction but his eyes are on the book once again, I look into the fire and find that the steady glow of it eases the tension in my spine. Truly I am exhausted, the ache in my leg fades to a subconscious thought as sleep blurs reality until all I can see are cloud gray eyes piercing straight through me as the fire engulfs me...

I wake up breathing hard, for a moment my surroundings make no sense and memory evades me until I escape the heavy weight of the blankets and see Lord Ander still sitting in the chair. His head is supported by the back of the chair, the book is at the tips of his fingers, just balancing at the edge of his knee. I drag my fingers through my hair and consider my position, I am certain I fell asleep at the foot of the bed, but now I am buried under his blankets and not anywhere near the same position. I study his face as he sleeps, he must have moved me after I fell asleep, I slide from the bed as silently as possible and test my leg. The pain is still there but I should be well enough as long as I don't do anything foolish... At least I hope so.

I straighten Lord Ander's bed quickly and quietly, my efficiency is so that he doesn't even stir with my movements, I am about to leave when I notice the chill of the room. The sun hasn't even begun to rise and everything holds the bite of the night cold, I bite my lip before I drag the comforter from his bed. I hold my breath as I slide the book from his lap, I don't bother looking at the pages as I pull the ribbon from my hair and tuck it between his pages. I gingerly place the book on the table, I watch his face as I drape the blanket over his shoulders. His eyebrows ease apart and his expression seems almost peaceful, I back out of his bedchamber quickly and am all too relieved when I close the door behind me. I lean against the steady frame for a moment before I start my day as I would any other, I make my way to the kitchens curious to discover what gossip has already begun...

My frustration has not eased for one moment, Marie found me and proceeded to harass me about my meager performance at the only task I was expected to do. I thought about explaining the situation but it wouldn't have mattered to her at all, of that I am sure. I can barely walk and the day is not even half over, and yet Marie is still nagging me and following me about. I turn on her, ready to drop all decorum and use every curse word I know but the presence of Gregor stills me, he is behind her and for some reason I do not point out that fact, "Why do you stop you useless welp?" Her voice is sharp and when I don't respond she slaps me hard across the face, "You ought to have made yourself useful and let the Marquis have his way with you, won't be anytime soon anyone will want you again. May as well have done something for the crippled Lord, you being a cripple yourself I might think you would desire to assist him."

Gregor clears his throat and she whips around so fast she nearly loses her balance, "Miss Clara, would you please come with me?"

I bow my head and follow him, Marie stares after us in wide-eyed horror but she dare not speak lest she reveal herself. I try to keep pace with Gregor but even in his aged state he is much more able than I, it is only lucky that we do not go far, he leads me into Lord Ander's library. The room is much larger than I imagined and the scent of it makes me ache to know what knowledge is held in all those pages... I notice a gentleman who looks to be in his late forties, he stands very stiff with hair slicked back and his eyes intense on Lord Ander who is at the far window and he does not turn as I enter with Gregor.

Gregor approaches Lord Ander and after a moment of quiet discussion he nods and leaves the room, the click of the door behind him makes me twitch. I study this new man and I wonder if Lord Ander has changed his mind, perhaps I am to be sold to this man... His face is very straight and formal, Lord Ander turns slowly and as his eyes take hold of me my breath is ripped from me. There is something about him that makes me feel as if I am caught in the sea during a storm, "Clara this is Marcus, he is a doctor and I have called upon him to look at your leg. If you please?"

My cheeks flame with embarrassment but I raise the hem of my dress to reveal my scarred thigh, and finally I see an expression on the doctor's face, one I am used to; disgust. I lower my eyes to the floor and try to ignore him as he kneels before me and he probes my leg roughly. I hiss as pain flares up the curve of my hip, "How is the pain now?"

"It aches when I am still, when I put weight on it there is a sharp pain but nothing so bad as it was last night sir."

He is silent for a long moment, I dare a glance at Lord Ander to find that his eyes are locked on Marcus. His jaw seems tight, the sunlight behind him accents the scar down the curve of his jaw and I see that it is much sharper under the light of day but still he is quite handsome... His eyes flash up to mine and I look away quickly a blush of guilt overwhelming my face, I should not look upon my Master in such a way, it is highly improper and completely unacceptable behavior. Marcus pulls away from me his eyebrows drawn together in thought before he turns away from me and starts a quiet conversation with Lord Ander, I cover myself immediately and try not to stare at Lord Ander which is much more difficult than it ought to be.

Lord Ander glances at me, "Go to my bedchamber, Gregor has prepared a hot bath for you, I will come to you later." I bow awkwardly as I back out of the room, Lord Ander's eyes are so cold and I try not to feel so hurt by that fact.

Within Lord Ander's room Gregor is waiting for me, he directs me to the second room in the bedchamber kept especially for Lord Ander's baths, the room is small and full of heat. I stare at the large bath, the wooden tub is full of steaming water and the scent of fresh herbs tingles my nose, "Do you require assistance with anything?"

I look at him incredulously, "Oh, no. Thank you sir."

His eyes are a pale shade of brown and his hair is thinning to a pale white that fades from his brow, he starts to turn then hesitates, "You seem a generous soul, do not let those like Marie darken your spirit. I do not care on your scars, nor Master Ander's, know that there are those who see past such things. When you are clean there is a robe set out for you, see that you do not put those clothes back on."

I stare at the water after he leaves, his words dull the ache of loneliness and I feel a tender contentment as I strip off my servant-wear, as I slide into the water I can't help but moan. It is so hot it nearly hurts but the heat peals away the pain in my thigh and every aching muscle in my body loosens. I slide so low in the bath that my nose is just above the surface, I close my eyes and enjoy the tender scent of chamomile, I am surprised that Lord Ander would use such herbs in a bath meant for me... I sit up on the roughened wood and reach for the sponge on a small stool beside the tub, a bowl of water is beside it full of the scent of roses. I scrub my body vigorously and I am disturbed to see the fresh clear water turn brown with my sweat and dirt, I scrunch up my nose as I stand. I place the sponge back and pick up the bowl of rose water, I dump it over me and feel the vestiges of pain fade away.

I set the bowl with the sponge and wring out the excess water from my hair, the robe Gregor mentioned is draped against the door, I am certain it belongs to Lord Ander and for some reason that reawakens the old fire. Something about him makes my body heat, I am not sure why or how but I know this is the lust that others speak of... I push away those thoughts and tug on the heavy red thing, I tie the sash tightly around my waist, it is so large on me it can nearly wrap around me twice. When I emerge from the room there is no one to be found, I told my clothes as neatly as possible and place them beside the stool before I close the door behind me. I pace the room as I wait for Gregor or Lord Ander to instruct me on what I am meant to do next, I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to keep it under control, I want to braid it again but I don't see my ribbon. I had placed it in Lord Ander's book, they are both nowhere to be seen, I settle into the wood chair and sit stiffly as I wait.

It doesn't take too long, Lord Ander enters so quietly at first I don't realize, he is closing the door when I notice him. I stand up, unsure of what to do I move away from his chair and keep my eyes downcast. His eyes are on me, I am sure of it but I dare not look at him again, "Did you enjoy your bath Clara?"

His tone is hard and I flinch, "Yes my Lord, thank you."

He moves toward me, "Sit on my bed please."

I settle on the edge of it, he pulls the chair directly in front of me and settles into it, "Marcus seems to think you require bed rest, and he has also provided a balm for your leg to ease the muscle." I keep my eyes averted as he speaks, his proximity makes me nervous, I can feel the heat of his legs against mine and it makes me tremble, "Are you cold Clara?"

"No my Lord."

He is silent for a long moment before he rests a hand on my thigh and my eyes snap to his, "You avoid looking at me, why?"

I bite my lip, "It is improper for a servant to look their master in the eye unless commanded to my Lord."

His lips twitch with that ghost smile, "Are you one for propriety?"

I study his eyes as his hand burns against my thigh, "I do not understand my Lord."

The smile washes away to be replaced with that grim line, he pulls a smooth wood box forth and extends it to me, I take it wordlessly, "Open it."

I obey and there is a milky white cream within, I shake all over as he pushes the robe from my damaged leg, I want to tell him to stop but as I look into his eyes I dare not say a word because I fear what I will say. He dips his fingertips in the substance then lowers his hand to my thigh, he rubs the cream into my leg his eyes intent on his task and I cannot tear my eyes from his face. My whole body is hot, I feel like I am suffocating as his hand seems to burn through my whole being and I find myself craving something even more from him. Of course I know of lust and the process of taking a lover but surely I cannot be thinking of my own Master in such a way.

"What thoughts made your cheeks brighten with the doctor Clara?" His voice is like ice on me and I bite my lip, "Do not resist telling me."

I look to his open window and try to separate myself from his touch, "I thought of the way you touched me last night my Lord," I take a shaky breath as his hand stills on my thigh, "of the way your touch affected me..."

I dare to look at him, his eyes are narrowed on me, he looks angry and I am left cold as he pulls his hand from my leg. He stands slowly his eyes riveted to mine and I don't even think of covering my leg, "And how did my touch affect you Clara?"

The command is evident in his voice and I cannot bring myself to disobey him, "In a way that none has ever made me feel before, you alight a fire in my flesh my Lord, it is something that I do not understand and I apologize for it if that is what you wish of me..."

"It seems only proper that I show you mine." At first I am confused until he pulls his shirt off and his chest is bared to me, I know I should look away but I cannot drag my eyes from the flat expanse of his skin. His scarring ends at the curve of his throat, more ragged scars blanket both of his biceps and as he turns his back to me I see the brunt of it and it makes my chest squeeze. He faces me and studies my expression, I start to drop my eyes, "Do not look away from me."

I bite my lip as he approaches me, he settles back in the chair before continuing to work the cream into my thigh, I am perturbed to find that his eyes remain on mine and I cannot disobey him no matter how much it distresses me, "My Lord, I..."

His hand slides higher up my thigh killing the words in my throat and I can't breath as he nears the heart of the fire. His eyes remain on mine as he pulls the tie of the robe with his free hand and with one motion he could expose me but he raises his hand to my cheek, "You may say no if you so wish it Clara, think of me as a man in this moment and not as your Master, I will value you no less if you refuse me. Although this shall be the only opportunity for it."

I can't even breathe to refuse him, I shake my head as fear mixes with the insistent heat, "I am not..." I swallow hard, "experienced in such things my Lord. If that is what you expect of me..."

His eyes scan mine, he raises his hand to my shoulder and he gently eases the robe from me, I cannot move to resist him, "Experience holds benefits," his fingers trail down the curve of my shoulders as he lowers the robe, he takes the box and sets it on the floor before he releases me from the confines of the robe completely. He spreads apart the remnants covering my thighs and my body reddens as his eyes carve across my naked flesh, "But there is a certain beauty in innocence as well. Are you willing to give yourself to me Clara?"

The admission of my desire scares me, "I will allow you anything my Lord."

His eyes widen and he pulls back from me, "I do not want your obedience, I want your acceptance."

The loss of his touch leaves me wanting and I reach forward and grip his hands, "I desire you my Lord." He studies me with an icy stare that cuts me deep and I am curious as to what makes him so cold even in a moment full of fire. The boldness of my words makes my cheeks burn like fire, "If I did not feel desire I would not hesitate to escape the situation in one way or another my Lord."

"Perhaps you do not wish to escape your Master on such terms, you may end up on the run for the rest of your life, is it not easier for you to make this decision?"

"I have no reason to lie to you my Lord." I am not sure how he expects me to proceed, I don't want to upset him but at the same time all I want is to get rid of this incessant fire between my legs, "Please believe me."

He studies me before he stands and in a swift motion he is atop me, my breath fades as his broad chest seems to shadow my form and as he bears his weight above me I stare into those stormy eyes. His hand slides up my thigh to the origin of my fire and I am shaking with a mix of fear and anticipation, "Part your legs for me Clara."

I feel like I am going to faint, I obey him and try to stop the trembling as his fingertips tease at the edge of my womanhood. His eyes hold mine and I can't even remember my own name as his touch brushes my slit, I groan as heat swells through my body, his thumb roll across something and a spark shoots up my spine and I yelp. The pleasure floods me like nothing I have ever known, I reach for his shoulders but he stops his touch, "Put your hands above your head."

I cannot defy him, when he is satisfied with my placement he continues to roll his thumb along that sensitive place and the pleasure of it draws soft whimpers from me, "Oh my Lord."

His eyebrows knit together, "Say my name." When I don't respond he leans close to me and presses his lips to my ear, "Say my name Clara."

I am breathing hard as the heat peaks within me and I feel close to something I don't quite understand, I shake my head and twist beneath him trying to find the release to this unbearable pressure. His touch rolls slowly until he is holding me on the precipice and I nearly lose my mind when his tongue darts across my earlobe, "Come now, I can feel how close you are Clara, say my name and I will show you pleasure you have never known. Let go."

I grip the bedding and grind my hips against his hand but he pulls away from me, rationality disappears completely, "Please my Lord! I'm begging you." His gaze does not soften, I groan in frustration, all I want is the release but I cannot bring myself to disobey all my training.

A knock at the door shatters the illusion of privacy, I don't move as Ander groans, he slowly draws away from me, "Get under the covers Clara, I will attend to you later." I sit up and reach for the robe but he grabs my wrists, "No." I can barely stem the flow of helplessness that tears through me, his eyes leave no room for argument and when he releases me I scoot back from him. A swell of fear rises against him, I am not sure why but he frightens me, his power over me throws me into confusion and I don't like it. Perhaps I should have said no, I bury myself in his bed and turn away from him as the reality of the situation sinks in...




Saving Clara Ch. 01



I don't even glance back when he opens the door, whoever it is I won't be able to face them without revealing what I have begun. I close my eyes and try to ignore the insistent heat inside me, he had given me a swell of heat but I long for something more, something I have only heard of, "We must empty your wash basin my Lord."

Gregor's quiet voice pierces the cocoon of confusion beginning to form, "I am well aware of that, please be swift about it Gregor."

There is a long moment of silence, "Of course my Lord." I stay as still as I can, the whole process seems to take a moment in my mind but I am sure it takes a longer period than I imagine. I don't ever want him to leave, when he leaves my Master will look at me again, he will touch me and I am afraid the fire will destroy me. He ignites a fire inside that frightens me, but oh how I yearn for it. I want his touch burning away my resolve, I want him to crush me with his strength, and the desire for his soft tongue upon my flesh makes me blush. His touch has awakened a passion that I wasn't even aware of, when Gregor finally leaves I am shaking all over with anticipation.

"Clara." I sit up, I hold the blanket tight against my chest as fear threatens to overtake me, "You are quite the disobedient one." My body trembles as desire pulses back to life, my blood sings when he approaches me, he studies my face closely before he grabs the blanket and pulls it away from me. The thought of holding it tight does not even cross my mind and instantly my body is bared to his gaze once again.

"Are you frightened Clara?" Heat swells through me as he slides onto the bed, his bare chest is wider than me and it makes me feel small as he crawls over me. He pushes my legs apart insistently and he crawls between them leaving my legs draped over his thighs as he hovers over me, "Why do you not speak?"

I swallow hard as I drown in those dark eyes, "I cannot think my Lord."

His lips curl in a smile that melts me, his power over me frightens me more than anything I have ever known, no one has ever burned a fire this bright inside me. He isn't even touching me and I can't even manage a complete thought, "What do you wish of me Clara? Come now, do not disobey me again, all I ask is that you say my name and I will bring you such pleasure as you have ever known."

My mind is split between unbearable desire and years of harsh instruction, "My Lord I cannot, it is..."

He brushes a hand from my calf up to my thigh and all thought fades as insanity takes hold, "Come now Clara, this journey has only just begun, you have accepted it and there is only one way to go from here."

His hand hovers over the focus of my heat, I cannot resist it, the heat is melting away all thoughts of decency and I groan as his touch flicks across that most sensitive of places. My rationality snaps, "Ander!" His hand flicks against me firmer this time and the heat flares through me with such force that breathing becomes much less important and I buck against him. My hands are on his chest, I want to shove him away and draw him closer at the same time, my nails bite into his flesh as the wave crashes through me. For a long moment he pushes me further along the heat until I can't bear it anymore and the pleasure of it leaves me spent and slick with sweat.

He presses his palm to my mound and watches me as I slip back to sanity, "Do you enjoy touching me?" His words don't register until I feel his chest beneath my hands, I curl my hands to my chest and blush wildly as his eyes travel the length of my body, "I shall teach you properly Clara. You're modesty is endearing but I find your desire much more so."

He slides a finger into me and I moan as he sinks into that oversensitive place, I am panting as he presses deep within me, I roll beneath him, "Do not move." I grunt with effort as I still my treacherous body, his touch stirs the fire until I can barely stand it, he pulls his finger from me and without hesitation he sticks it in his mouth. I stare at him in wonder as his eyes close for an instant and he growls, "I shall taste that sweet treasure of yours Clara. Have you truly never had a lover? Never felt a man's touch?"

I almost feel the edge in his voice, "No my Lord."

His eyes carve through me like a knife and it chills me to the core, "We shall see."

I bite my lip, his aggression does not halt the fire but it does awaken a branch of rationality. I am not sure how to respond so I remain silent, I cannot understand his anger but I do not question it. He leans away from me and in one motion his trousers are on the floor, the sight of his manhood makes me lose my breath, it frightens me to imagine the length of that is meant to fit inside me. Ander repositions himself, as he slides up my body he trails his tongue up from my navel to my breasts, I gasp as his mouth covers my nipple. His manhood is pressed against me but he does not press into me, as my body alights to his hands sliding over my thighs a deep animalistic urge overwhelms everything else. His hands spread across my hips before he grips my waist and in a slow motion he slides into me, pain blossoms through the fire and I whimper. He stops within me, "Relax Clara, it will hurt much less if you do so." I groan as he cups my face and keeps his eyes on mine, I get used to his invasion slowly, he gently presses himself deeper into me, pain whispers through me but I try to obey him, his advance is halted by something and I am not prepared for his next action. In one motion he buries himself into me, I scream as the pain wipes away everything else and I grip his shoulders as the pain fades to a dull pulse, "Christ you feel so good..."

I search his eyes and see a fire that burns even brighter than my own, I wrap my legs around his waist and he growls. I like it when he does that, he pulls from me slowly then thrusts deep again, I moan as my slick walls accept him and the pain fades to the back of my mind, "Oh my Lord..."

He stills inside me, "Dammit Clara."

I grind my hips against him, "Please, please, please..." His expression looks pained, "Ander..." He pulls from me, he seems to lose all resolve for my comfort and he slams into me, his width feels as if it should tear me apart but instead it brings me such pleasure as I have ever known. I rise against him to meet his thrusts and I moan as his mouth locks onto my throat, his growl vibrates into my blood and my body sings against him. He wraps his arms around my body crushing me against him until I cannot move, I can barely breathe as he pounds into me, he shatters my perception of reality and all that exists is him against me. I scream as the wave crashes over me, my walls tighten around him and he grunts before slamming deep within me and I feel his seed explode inside me.

Ander pulls away from me slowly, the loss of his manhood awakens the pain within, his eyes are between my legs, "Seems you were telling the truth, interesting." I start to cover myself but he grabs my wrists and pins them to my sides, "You are so responsive to me Clara, how is it no man has seen your potential?"

I close my eyes, I don't like it when he talks to me so sharply, "I do not know my Lord."

"Look at me and tell me your thoughts Clara."

I look into his eyes, "Most men do not see me as a woman my Lord."

Ander studies me before he releases my wrists and pulls away from me, "Clean yourself in the wash room then rest." Before I can comprehend why he sounds so irritated, he pulls on his clothes quickly then he leaves me with only my thoughts. Perhaps now that he has satisfied himself he will sell me, that thought brings tears to my eyes and I haven't the strength to push them away.



Saving Clara Ch. 02



Alright readers, sorry for the wait, I read all of your comments and they are much appreciated. I tried to create a good continuation in chapter 2 it is a little shorter. Comments are appreciated and of course Happy Reading! 

*

Thankfully the tears don't last long, I have no reason to expect kindness from him after the tryst or the right to feel anything toward my Master. I should be honored that he has shown me such passion, and yet I only feel a well of fear rising inside me, it is too late to change my mind now, that much is obvious. I don't like this feeling of being trapped, before I had purpose and now I am left in his bedchamber to await his return... That eats at me, I have never felt this tumult of confusion before, I desired him but now I wonder at the effect it will have on me. My entire life has been training toward becoming the perfect servant, a constant restraint on my individuality, there is meant to be no true personality in a servant. Only companions are allowed such a luxury, but even then it isn't their personality...

In his washroom I clean the mix of fluid from the coupling, I am not entirely surprised at the blood but it makes me feel as if I have been ruined. Honestly the body of a servant is not entirely valuable, but I had willingly given him something that I should have appreciated more. I feel almost as if I am floating as I pull on the robe and settle against the curve of the window. If I am honest with myself I remember the days before I was sold to become a servant, I remember my mother singing to me before bed and I remember my father... I yank away from the memories and slam them down deep where they can't touch me, I press my palm to the glass and instead think on myself. My reaction to Ander is different from anything I have ever felt, I had opportunities to take a lover, there are plenty of men desperate enough to take a woman, even one like me...

I dare a glance at his bed, the memory of the coupling makes my skin tingle but I brush past that to thoughts on Ander. I do not truly know anything about him, I only know of the gossip about him but that is not reliable information so I discard those thoughts. Now that he has fulfilled his desire I consider what it will mean for my future, I have been a servant for a long time, being sold again will mean nothing in my life. I enjoy this house, but that is because my Lord had never paid me any mind.

Now that phase of my life is over. As I rethink what happened between us I can hear his words, I shall teach you properly Clara. You're modesty is endearing but I find your desire much more so. The memory makes my body liquid fire, I am not sure about his strange moods but it is clear there is kindness inside him. He had cared enough to call on a doctor, enough to defend me against a business partner, and enough to give me the right to say no. Regardless of anything else I already know there is generosity within him, that is enough to stem the flow of fear.

"Clara?" I nearly jump out of my skin, I turn to see Gregor standing stiffly with his face averted, "I knocked but you did not answer."

I steady my nerves and force away the thought of Lord Ander, "I am sorry, I was distracted by thought."

"Are you decent?"

I blush wildly, because the thought of decency makes me think of Ander, I nearly choke on the heat inside me, "Yes."

Gregor's whole body seems to loosen as he steps into the room and closes the door behind him, "Lord Ander has told me of the condition of your leg, since you will be unable to attend your normal duties you will assist me in mine. Nothing entirely strenuous although my activities require great mental focus. I assume you cannot read?"

I lower my eyes, "I was beginning to learn the alphabet but I have forgotten most of it."

He is silent for some time before he settles in the wooden chair, "That is of no consequence, in free time Lord Ander has told me to assist you in such a matter, if I am able to teach him how to read I am sure I can teach anyone."

There is a smile in his voice that eases the tension between my shoulders, "Is it not improper for me to learn such things?"

Gregor laughs and I glance at him curiously, his face is creased with his smile and he looks so content it tears at me, "Propriety is not a thought to be had for some time, Lord Ander and I have been together since his birth, he trusts me and my judgment and he will not question my decision. You will better assist me if you know how to read, but more than that in free time it will be a suitable distraction."

I wrap my arms around my chest, "I will do as my Lord wishes in any venture, though I assume I will go back to my previous duties when I become useful again."

Gregor's smile falls and his eyes bore into me, "Miss Clara, though I understand your distress I must inform you that my duties are highly important in Lord Ander's life and you must never think he would go through the trouble of keeping your comfort if he found you useless."

His words are so soothing to someone he barely knows, the knot of worry in my chest loosens, "I am sorry, so much has changed in such a short time, I did not mean it."

Gregor nods sharply then he extends a neatly folded uniform, "Lord Ander had a new uniform procured for you, once you dress meet me outside the door and we shall begin the day." I accept the clothes and he strides from the room, I dress in the uniform identical to my previous one and once I take a deep breath I meet Gregor outside the room, "Wonderful, now I shall explain my duties in the library, there is where we will begin your studies. I handle all of Lord Ander's business relations, when he is busy or unwilling to meet someone I shall handle the transaction on his behalf, I record all purchases and losses of money, anything that translates to his business I handle it. I also keep track of our business partners and their investments, my job is very professional and you must learn to speak to others in a way that will never cause tension within them. It is all about presentation and the careful wording of statements."

I have little trouble understanding what he means as we enter the library, he closes the door behind me before he slides to a shelf and pulls out several books and drops them on a wide desk in the corner, he places a sheaf of papers beside them and an old battered looking pen, "Now to begin your lesson I shall see if we can dust away time and bring up your previous teaching. Do you remember the alphabet?"

I blink as I dig back into old memories, but going back makes my stomach churn, "I am not sure..."

Gregor smiles comfortingly, "That is just as well, no bad habits to break, sit here and we shall begin."

I am not sure how much time passes, the sun drifts across the sky and Gregor hovers over me correcting my mistakes softly while praising every tiny success. By the time my eyes start to burn he convinces me I know the pronunciation of half the letters, which is more important than knowing the letters. I don't even know what he is talking about, I feel as if I haven't made the slightest progress, "That is well enough for today, you must practice so in free time I encourage you to come here and do as I have shown you. Now there is a different facet of my duties I believe you will enjoy."

Gregor leads me through the house, many of the servants drop what they are doing and openly stare at me, some look confused and others look furious. But all of them are careful to hide the looks from Gregor's gaze, I avoid making eye contact and follow behind him feeling highly uncomfortable with the situation. Outside the air is refreshing compared to the stuffy confinement of the house, he is walking slower than the day before and I am sure he has noticed my slow gait. Gregor strides into the stables and he seems so much younger than he really is, I am not exactly sure on his age but the ease in which he moves spikes jealousy into my heart, "Obviously these are the stables, Lord Ander participates in the trade of horses and the training of them as well, he buys the finest of them and I handle their training. I cannot very well teach you to train horses for that would take a wild amount of your time, instead you will assist in the brushing and cleaning of them. One of these horses in particular is not very fond of human attention, Lord Ander bought her along with a lot of horses, the others have taken well to rehabilitation but she has not. So you shall avoid her, she is meant to be sold as soon as I can convince someone to buy her that has the patience to deal with her."

The whole time he is motioning toward a stall, I move toward it and catch a glimpse of her big black muzzle and her wide brown eyes, she catches my gaze and tosses her head. She tries to rear up but a length of rope holds her down, she kicks back instead and the sound of her hoof connecting with the wall makes me flinch but I don't move away from her, "What is her name?"

"Lord Ander renamed her Shadow, the previous owner gave her no name, she is unbreakable at this point, I am unsure on what her owner did to her but she will never be tame."

I keep my eyes locked on hers and I feel a well of something begin inside me, "Have you found any potential buyers for her?"

"Not even a hint of interest in the market for her, at the moment she is just a burden on Lord Ander's pocketbook." Gregor is silent for a moment before he takes a deep breath, "Anyway, she is none of your concern. For now we will merely talk of your responsibilities here and be clear that when you come here I will have the clothing of a stable boy for you instead of your household clothing. There will be a washbasin for you after such activities before you return to the house."

Gregor draws me away from Shadow, who is breathing as if she has run a thousand days with no rest, but I cannot keep my mind from her even after I have lost sight of her. I do not know why but I am drawn to her, she has been damaged by someone who was meant to take care of her, it strikes a chord inside me...

After hours of listening to Gregor explain the care of horses I am left with a throbbing headache, I am glad when he dismisses me back to the house. At first I begin walking to the servant's chambers then I hesitate in the hall and I realize I have no idea if I am meant to go to them or to Lord Ander's bedchamber. I stand frozen, a tinge of fear flickers to life, I cannot very well invade my Master's chamber if I am not meant to and I also cannot bear to go back to the servant's quarters to face Marie, she will blame me for her misstep. Who knows what sort of vengeance she will take out on me... Instead of going to either location I go back to the library, I settle at the desk with my piles of destroyed paper, full of mistakes and scribbles, I find a paper with some blank space and begin writing out each of the letters I learned while speaking their variable pronunciations.

I lean back in the chair and stretch, my spine crackles with relief and I stand on stiff legs, the room has gone dim with nightfall and I hadn't entirely noticed. I stare into the pink hue of the horizon and I revel in this moment of imaginary freedom, truly a free woman is not entirely free but if I were talented I could have as much freedom as a man. I could soar past this place and go anywhere that pleased me, I could fade into obscurity and live in peace or shatter the world with my very presence... I laugh softly at the thought before I turn and decide to see if Lord Ander has returned.

I knock softly on his door, all the other servants have retired for the evening, when there is no answer I hesitate for a long time. I knock louder but there is still no answer, I stand unsure of what else I am meant to do, indecision pulls at me but I push open the door slowly. I quickly realize Lord Ander is not in his bedchamber, I stand with the door wide open as if the room will tell me what I am meant to do. I bite my lip before I close the door behind me, once he discovers me here he will tell me what I am meant to do regardless and if it delays my reunion with Marie I am content with it. I settle into the sill of the giant window and stare up as the stars begin to awaken, I am not sure I like the amount of time I have free for my thoughts. Too many memories are being resurrected, memories that I made sure to bury deep, but now they refuse to listen to my complaints.

I look up quickly when I hear the door open, I look to Lord Ander's bedchamber door but it remains shut tight, my eyes are drawn to him emerging from his washroom with not so much as a robe covering him. His entire body bathed in the light of dusk steals away my breath, my eyes trail from the soft innocence of his manhood to the slim line of his hips, his flat stomach, and the broad expanse of his chest rising with his breath. I find his eyes locked on mine and heat crashes through me, I am drowning in the emotion for a moment before I snap away from it and look away. I rise quickly and slide to my knees with bowed head, "I was not sure if you wished me to return here or to the servant's quarters my Lord."

My voice is low and quivery, but I can't imagine how to make it stop, I don't dare look at him lest I lose sight of my place again. I can hear him moving through the room but I keep my eyes trained on the floor, he comes near to me but he does not touch me or speak, my whole body pulls tight with anticipation and dread. For a long moment we remain locked in silence before he moves away from me, I hear the rustle of something before he settles on his bed, "Stand and look at me Clara."

I obey and am both relieved and disappointed to find him covered by his robe, "Apologies for entering your room without permission my Lord but I knew not what else to do..."

His eyes begin a trail from my legs up over my body until he finds my eyes, by the time his gaze meets mine I am trembling, "As intriguing as your reaction is to me, I must speak with you on other matters. Gregor spoke with me of the interaction you had with Marie, my initial reaction was to punish her or even to send her to the mines, but now I wonder at your thoughts on the matter."

My thoughts clear instantly, "Sending her to the mines would be a sentence worse than death my Lord!" I bite my lip, "She is unkind to me but if you were to punish her for it then you would punish more than her, if you would punish anyone for anything then punish them for speaking ill of you. I am used to people with her point of view, there is nothing that shall change it, punishing her will make others fear me but it will only strengthen their resolve to hate me, just more quietly. Perhaps they will become violent when you are not around to protect me... It would change nothing my Lord."

He studies my eyes for a long time until I feel foolish for saying so much and a blush of frustration floods my cheeks, "You are very perceptive in the ways of people, I shall take your opinion into consideration. How does your leg fare?"

I wish he would tell me what he intends to do with Marie but I do not dare to question him, "Very well my Lord, I have felt only slight tightening of my muscle today."

He stares at me for a long moment before he moves something in his lap and I recognize the little box with the cream for my leg, "Take off your clothes Clara." Fire pulses through my blood and my womanhood clenches at his demand, I stand utterly confused for a moment before I move toward the washroom, "No, stay right here and take off all your clothes. Come now Clara, I have seen you already do not hold such modesty."

A blush floods my face, I look down and begin to undo my dress, my hands are shaking so wildly I am glad it ties and does not button. I manage to shimmy out of the simple outfit and slide out of my stockings to stand utterly bared before him. I keep my gaze on the floor and resist the urge to cover myself, "Do you still desire me between your thighs Clara?" Goose flesh breaks out across my flesh, my nipples tighten and I can feel my body ready for him, "Such reaction from your innocent little body, stand before me Clara."

I step forward hesitantly, he does not move but instead he just studies me, I tremble as his eyes seem to caress my body, "Tell me Clara, do you desire me still?"

I am breathing hard, "Yes my Lord."

Ander dips his fingers in the cream before he begins to rub it into my thigh, his touch bores into me and I want nothing more than to bury him inside of me again but I stand riveted by his order, "Stand with your feet apart."

As soon as I part my legs his hand slides to my inner thigh, I knead my hands together needing to do something with them but I know I cannot take the initiative and touch him. Even as pleasure rolls away sanity I cannot break the barrier of training, "My Lord I..."

"Silence." I bite away the words and I look into his eyes to find such a fire that it frightens me, "Show me your passion Clara, in this room your body belongs to me, in any other room if I chose it your body belongs to me. Your pleasure excites me, do not hide it from me, tell me what you desire, but do not think of propriety or your role as a servant. If you do I will stuff that mouth of yours with something to keep you from speaking, do you understand?"

I gasp as his hand rises to the heat between my legs, his thumb teases my clit and my eyes roll back, "Yes, oh yes, my Lord."

He pulls away, I whimper at the loss of his touch, "I cannot decide if it is more thrilling to hear you say that or to say my name, when I make you cum I wish for you to say my name, if you do not I will not let you cum. Understand?"

"Yes my Lord."

I let my eyes connect with his and his face tightens, "Lay on the bed." I crawl onto the bed, as I start to turn over he grips my ass and I freeze on all fours. He trails his fingers from the base of my neck down my spine, I am hyperaware of my scars as he traces a few of them before he releases me and I roll onto my back, "Close your eyes and keep them closed."

His weight rises from the bed when I obey and I hear the robe fall to the floor but after that all is silent, "Place your hands above your head and keep them there, raise your knees and spread your legs."

I do as he instructs and immediately I feel a million times more vulnerable, he grips my waist and drags me to the edge of the bed, my feet slide to something warm and hard, it takes a moment to realize it is his shoulders. I whimper when his hands tease at my womanhood, "While you are with me this is my pussy, my cunt, mine to do with as I please understand?"

The vulgarity of his words speaks to something deep inside me and heat flowers between my legs, "Yes my Lord."

"If you are going to cum you must say my name Clara, do not forget that or I will punish you for disobedience."

I bite my lip, I am not prepared when he spreads the lips of my pussy and licks up my slit, I roll beneath him and it takes all my willpower to keep from screaming, I grip the blanket tight and barely have time to understand what he is doing before he buries his tongue inside of me, "Oh god." My back arches as I wrap my legs around his head and pull him tight against me, the motion happens so thoughtlessly I do not think to correct myself. He growls against me and begins pumping his tongue in and out of me, I am panting wildly as his hands grip my waist tight, his palms can nearly encircle my waist and I am sure there will be bruises from his grasp but I can't care as his tongue curves against me sending waves of trembling pleasure sparking through me. Waves crash through me until I can feel the swell of them building up, his tongue rubs against my clit roughly and I scream as the heat floods me, his rule flashes through me just as the pleasure shoots up my spine, "Ander!"

He releases his grip from my waist and I yelp when he slides a finger into me, a heat wave of pleasurable insanity washes away the world for the longest moment of my life, he keeps his finger buried inside me until the pleasure fades and my strength goes with it. My legs slide from his shoulders and I lay slick with sweat, "Open your eyes." I see him on his knees at the end of the bed, he licks my juices from his lips and I tremble all over, "Such a sweet treasure you are." He crawls on top of me, his hands rest on my waist and he drags me up until my entire body is on the bed, he hovers over me his legs on either side of mine and his hands planted on either side of my head, "Touch me Clara."




Saving Clara Ch. 02



I resist the urge to tell him it is improper, I bite my lip and begin at his shoulders, I trail my fingers along the curve of his collarbone to the hard edge of his chest, I circle his nipples with my nails then tease the edge of his waist and follow the curve of his hips to his manhood. I grip him between my fingers, the sound he makes causes an explosion of heat in my belly, his eyes roll back and I stroke him slowly. He grabs my wrists and slams them on either side of my head, "Have you ever desired someone as you desire me?"

His tone is like ice, "No my Lord."

He looks frustrated, his brow is drawn but instead of speaking he grips my wrists in one hand the pushes my legs apart with the other, he settles between my thighs and guides his cock to my slick entrance. He buries himself within me without warning, I whimper as he stretches me to my limit and pain coils with the pleasure, I yank against his grip but he does not lessen his hold. Ander pulls out of me until only the head of his cock remains then he thrusts fully within me again, he goes slowly at first then his pace turns into something akin to rage as he pounds into me. I plant my feet on the bed and rise to meet his abuse, it hurts as his hips slam against my thighs but the pain blurs with pleasure until I am crying out in ecstasy. His cock buried completely inside of me creates a tumult of pleasure I cannot resist, as I rise to meet his thrusts the carnality of it pushes away all rational thought. My whole body coils tight, my back arches and I am pulled tight against his unbreakable grip, I cry out as the world shatters around me and I whimper as he continues pumping into me.

My explosion rises higher than before and I can't even breathe, "Ander..." His name is barely a whisper as the world blackens to nothing and I can only see him above me, his eyes roll back and he slams deep inside of me and I feel his cock pulsing cum deep inside me, my pussy contracts around him sucking every drop from him. I am left as a wet mess when he pulls away from me, I don't even have time to speak this time, he pulls on his robe then slams out of the room. For the second time I am left to ponder what exactly I have done to displease him... 



Saving Clara Ch. 03



Life happened all at once sorry for the wait. But here is Chapter 3!

A few things I would like to say. First of all I do like your comments and your criticisms. Speaking of which Starrynight104 commented that Clara is a little one dimensional so I have been trying to chisel out her being. And Mayness gave me a nice idea which will show up in the next chapter. Thank you! That being said.

There is a difference between being rude and being constructive. The comment I deleted was a bit rude for my taste. There are other ways of giving criticism rather than just saying my writing makes you sick and my style sucks. Don't like it then don't read it. I don't write on here to make a living, you don't pay to read it, it is a choice to take your time to read. I write this story because it is an idea that took hold of me but I am not going to get an editor for erotica because that is time consuming for both parties and honestly this is just a hobby.

Keep posting nasty comments and I will continue to delete them. You are rude, and if you don't like my writing then don't read it, I don't want to sell this which is why I don't put it on Amazon. I plan to delete every rude comment you post so don't even bother, it takes me two seconds to get rid of it. I don't know why you keep commenting honestly. I don't really care. Anyway thank you to my readers and I am sorry if you don't enjoy my writing. But realize that it is your choice to read it or not. And it is my choice to delete comments and the only ones I have deleted thus far is rude guy/girl with the time to keep commenting and one other that had a phone number and other contact information which I am not comfortable with.

Anyway enjoy faithful readers! I will try to post the next chapter soon sorry for the wait!





Chapter Three

Once I have gotten over the distress of displeasing my Master I clean myself in the washroom and get dressed, his robe has gone with him and I am left either to sit naked or in my uniform. Being unclothed makes me feel wildly uncomfortable so I choose my uniform, I try to ignore the pit of dark frustration that is beginning to form. I am unsure how to approach Ander, or even if I should, on his coldness after our passions. Perhaps... All my thoughts shatter as I touch my stomach, fear rears up inside me until I nearly gag on my realization. Lord Ander has filled me with his seed twice now, perhaps he intends to use me to bear a child... My whole body turns cold, the room spins until I sit on the bed and bury my face in my hands, I am shaking so hard I can't even think straight.

Fear of the situation morphs into rage, I can't sit still lest I lose my mind so I creep out of his room and begin stumbling away. I cannot bear to think he will use me to bear a child, if he intends such a thing I will not allow it, that is something I cannot even think to do. I had heard women speak of their Masters using them for an heir. Whether male or female he would take the child and they never saw them again... That is what stokes my frustration now, I cannot even think to allow such a thing to happen to my child, I will not allow him to do that. I creep into the stables to find a dim lantern in the corner, I close the door tight behind me and I settle in front of Shadow's stall. She snorts and tosses her head.

"It's okay, I just need someone to talk to and I am sure there is no one else that will listen kindly. I think I know how you feel, I was betrayed by someone who was meant to protect me too, I don't know what your master did to you but I can see you've been hurt. I wasn't supposed to be a servant, I was born free. I miss that sometimes... Of course I didn't appreciate it, mostly because I was a child but I should have known better." I tug my hand through my hair and take a deep breath, Shadow has settled during my reverie and she is just staring at me intently, "Honestly I shouldn't complain about my past, it ended up better than it was intended to. If..."

I lapse into silence, tears flow freely and I am wracked with sobs, I cover my face and try to stifle the horrid sounds of desperation, "I used to be loved..." The admission is barely a whisper, the tears fade slowly as I stow away my desperation and replace it with the façade of strength, "I have been alone for a very long time, I am nearly twenty-five now, my scars prevent friendship and my standing prevent even a false friendship... I have been without a confidant for twelve years... It has been a really lonely time, I used to like it here but now I am scared again and it makes me so angry. I hate feeling so helpless, I have strength and passion and desires that have been stifled for so long, I tasted freedom and I crave it sometimes. I was not meant for this life... And yet here I am trapped, just as you I suppose."

Shadow moves forward until her muzzle is hanging over the door of the stall, she stays very still her brown eyes locked on me, I reach up slowly and a thrill passes through me when she lowers her mouth to my palm and she breathes in my scent. I stay frozen until she draws away, I smile at her as I wipe away the evidence of my tears, "No one understands you, I will show them that you can be just as good as everyone else, if we can't be free I will make sure you know a beautiful life."

It is pitch black as I make my way out of the stables, if I hadn't memorized the outside of the house I would be in trouble. I move slowly and make sure to remain silent as I slip into the giant emptiness of the house, the utter silence of it makes it seem almost as if I am alone. I slink through the house undetected and slide into Lord Ander's room breathlessly, no one had told me not to go anywhere but I still feel as if I have done something forbidden. Thankfully the room is still empty, actually that isn't true, there is a cup on the small table and a note beside it. So someone is aware I was missing... I stare at the note to find it merely has an arrow on it, so whoever wrote it knows I cannot read. I touch the cup to find that it is still warm, I drink it in one swig then I curl up in the center of the bed. I feel slightly comforted, even confiding in an animal is better than keeping everything bottled up inside. I close my eyes and drift into a fitful sleep, all through the night I keep hearing a baby crying but I can't find it no matter how hard I try. Somewhere in the distance there is laughter.

When I wake my eyes are gritty, I rub them until some semblance of normality returns, my whole body is stiff and I can feel every aching muscle that I used in reaction to my Lord's intimacies. I stretch slowly, as I scan the room I find I am alone. I roll onto my back and lay spread there for a time, I am awake before the sun and I hope no one will come for me just yet. Last night's realization has destroyed any idea that Ander is a good man, the very thought of carrying his child to term boils my blood. I don't need any more evidence than his behavior, he used me to spill his seed and then he left in a huff as if frustrated that he had to use a spoiled product. I am unsure as to his approach though, he could command any woman to bed with him, even with me he gave me a choice...

My stomach churns with confusion until I am unsure of my deduction, I roll to the edge of the bed and straighten my uniform, flattening my hair into submission is another matter entirely. Once I am satisfied with my appearance I stand, my stomach grumbles angrily, I sigh as I press my fingers to it imagining a child growing there even now. I clench my teeth to fight back the rise of tears, instead I make my way to the door, when I open it Gregor is holding his hand high as if he had been preparing to knock, "Ah, you are an earlier riser than I imagined." He sounds pleased, he moves past me into the room carrying a tray laden with fruit and warm sweet bread, "I had hoped you would share breakfast with me, I wake early as well."

He moves the table closer to the bed and motions for me to sit upon it, I stare at it for a moment before I return, "Good morning sir."

He grins widely, "Close the door, and don't bother with the formalities, I am Gregor to you. We are servants and there is no reason to be so formal with one another. We will be spending a great deal of time together so it will become tiresome quickly." I give him the barest of smiles if only to make him believe I enjoy the banter, but I can't imagine what to say to him so I lower my gaze to the food and it is so much more luxurious than what I am used to eating I am sure I will never become accustomed to it, "Feel free to begin eating."

I avoid the bread and grab an apple, I eat slowly and try to avoid looking at Gregor, he seems so upbeat it confuses me. Perhaps Lord Ander treats him as a friend since he was raised by him, whatever the reason it grates against my negativity. I maintain my silence through the meal barely touching any of the other food, Gregor seems content to sit in the silence. I fold inward to my darkened thoughts and try to consider how to escape the situation with Ander, it is possible my deduction is wrong and he will tire of me. I pray for that...

As soon as the awkwardly silent meal has concluded Gregor begins the day in the library instructing me on the rest of the alphabet, he praises me as before and criticizes me softly. As soon as he seems contented with my focus on my task he leaves for a time to practice alone, focusing on the letters helps me lose sight of how dry my eyes feel and how hollow my chest is. My heart beats lightly as if it is about to give up, the stress of the situation has built quickly, but as I lose myself in learning I find that I detach from the world. I spend what feels an eternity like that, whispering pronunciations to myself and trying to manipulate the shape of the letters onto the page. By the time Gregor returns I feel more comfortable with my grasp of this new knowledge, he leads me to the stables again and we begin working with the horses. I change into a stable boy's outfit in the washroom outside the manor.

The majority of the day is spent with him telling me how to brush down the horses, how much to feed them, how to talk to them softly, and once again by the time he dismisses me my skull throbs with the knowledge, "Go to the kitchens and tell Malone I sent you for lunch. The rest of the day is yours for now, I can see you are a bit overwhelmed, as you become accustomed to it I will request you return after eating. Go on now."

For a moment I stand staring at him, my skin is freshly scrubbed and I am back in my servant's clothes, "Why am I doing all of this?"

Gregor's eyes widen, "What do you mean?"

I bite my lip to stem the flow of questions threatening to break free, "Nothing, I am sorry."

I scramble away from him, "Clara!" I pretend not to have heard him as I disappear into the house, I don't feel the slightest sting of hunger but I go to the kitchens regardless. Malone eyes me for a moment before he hands me some bread and a hunk of cheese.

I stare at the food, tears start to blur my vision, "Thank you." I scurry through the house, past all of their stares past the ones that openly whisper about me until I come to the library. I bury myself in the letters again, I ignore the desperate urge to run and never look back and instead I drown myself in education.

Nearly a week passes in the same fashion, I do not see Lord Ander for the duration of that time, so in the evenings when everyone disappears to their rooms I fade into the stables and whisper my secrets to Shadow. Every night she seems calmer to my presence until she doesn't even begin to shy from me when I appear, she even lets me stroke her forehead. Lately I have been getting her used to the brush and stroking it along her neck in slow motions until her trembling eases. Slowly but surely I feel confident enough to open her stall, but I have been careful not to press her too quickly, if she becomes frightened again it will destroy everything I have built thus far. I pat her softly before I close the stall and I enter Ander's room feeling widely content, my heart lurches when I see him sitting in his chair, his hands folded in his lap and his eyes on mine.

Ice pools in my stomach as I see a burning frustration in his eyes, "Where were you?"

My heart pounds as I imagine what I have been doing and the fact that I was instructed by Gregor to avoid Shadow, I bite my lip and slide to my knees, "I was outside my Lord."

"Doing what exactly?"

The truth is not an option for me right now, I don't want him to take away the only thing that has contented me this past week, "I like being outside."

"In the dark?" His tone is like a knife slicing through me and I flinch.

"Everyone is asleep, no one can ask me questions or stare at me my Lord."

"Have you been fucking someone?"

My eyes snap to his, "No my Lord."

He laughs quietly before he stands and brushes past me, "Who is it?"

I look up at him haughtily, "I have taken no lover my Lord! I swear it on my life."

He stares down at me before he sighs and slams out of the room, I sit dumbfounded on the floor. I decide not to think too much on the matter and I change into the long nightshirt Gregor gave me, I try to sleep but I spend the majority of the time staring at the ceiling trying to decipher the puzzle that has become my Master. Even though his anger is sharp I feel the heat of his presence pulsing between my legs, I bite my lip as I remember his touch, his tongue...

Before I can think too much on the matter I lower my hand between my legs, I roll my fingertips along the sensitive place he ignites with his touch. I slide my fingers down to my slit and moisten my fingertips before I continue teasing my nub. Thoughts of his body against mine, his soft voice teasing me, commanding me... But it isn't quite the same, the climax builds slowly, even though there is pleasure my touch does not excite as magnificently as his. After what seems an eternity it builds in tempo, I slide my fingers into my pussy and finally the wave crashes down. An instant of pleasure and then I am left utterly confused. The climax is short, almost bittersweet, and it leaves me feeling less than satisfied. I curl up under his covers, surrounded by his scent and I find that I miss him, even if it is just sex I crave it...

Two more weeks stretch on with no further approach from Lord Ander, I have become quite close to Shadow, enough so that she allows me to brush her entire body and I dare to release her rope and lead her out of her stall to walk her. I feed her more to get her weight back and I find that as I get closer to her I feel more content with myself. Gregor comments on her calm behavior when I am assisting him with one of the other horses and I discover that she is only calm when I am around...

On my way to meet Gregor at the stables I hear a commotion inside, I stumble in to see Shadow backed into a corner breathing hard her eyes wild. A few stable hands are surrounding her with raised hands, Gregor is trying to speak softly to her but her chest heaves with fear. I shove past them thoughtlessly and I reach for her slowly, "Come on, you know me, don't pay attention to them. It's okay."

I grab her rope and turn my back to her, the others are staring at me with gaping mouths, as soon as I put her back in her stall Gregor grabs my arm and drags me outside, "This is why you disappear at night?" I nod dumbly, "Why did you not tell Lord Ander of this?"

I bite my lip, "I did not want to lose my time with her, working with her has made me feel... whole."

Gregor lets me go and he laughs, "This whole time..." He shakes his head smiling, before he can speak a servant rushes to him and speaks softly. Once the message is received the servant scurries away, "Lord Ander has requested you wait for him in his study, he is aware you do not know where it is so the Earl William will lead you there. He is at the front of the house awaiting you, I must continue here, go on then."

I mutter a quiet goodbye before I stride away from him, the Earl looks like high royalty, his body is tanned and his golden hair gleams in the sun, his eyes are a frightening shade of blue, he smiles and his teeth are utter perfection. The sight of him is something that must be appreciated though I prefer the chiseled strength of my Master, I curtsy smartly and give him a welcome smile, "Greetings Earl William, I am Clara."

He extends his hand, I am not sure exactly what he wishes so I brush his palm with my fingertips, he grips my hand and pulls me beside him then tucks my arm over his. He leads me into the house, "Wonderful to meet you my dear." The situation is highly irregular, him holding me so and the other servants notice, "I am told you are a great help to Lord Ander, you are aware that he was once of higher ranking than me but now he refuses to be called upon so. Instead he uses the title of Lord, still running in our circles yet he distances himself from us. What do you think on your Lord?"

The speed of the conversation catches me off balance but I dart into it with as much grace as I can manage, "He is a generous and fair man Sir."

William snorts before he pulls me into a part of the house I am not entirely familiar with, he opens a door and I am met with a respectably small room with a desk and two cushioned chairs in front of it. Before I can take in the details of the room William turns me, his hand catches my chin and he kisses me, a frozen moment of confusion before I yank away from him. I try to pull from him but his arm is coiled tight around my waist, "Do you not find me attractive?"

I wipe his taste from my lips, "I am sure there are those who would Sir, but I do not."

"Is there another that you desire?" I press my lips tightly together, the admission of desire for my Master would be completely unacceptable. These past weeks I have ached for him, but my desperation is not so that I will allow this stranger to bed me, "Silence is as good an answer as any. Does he desire you?"

I look down, the pain of being undesirable to my Lord stings, "Please release me sir." William grips my chin again, his lips crash down on mine, I struggle against him thrashing out wildly. When I finally land a solid hit in his ribs he releases me, I stumble away from him, I grab the door but the knob won't turn so I back away from him hurriedly.

He studies me slowly, "No woman has ever told me no Clara, especially not a servant, it is not your place to say no. Your Master will be quite disappointed to hear of your disobedience."

I grit my teeth, "I don't give a damn what he feels about it, I will not let you take advantage of me."

"And if I told you it was his will that you do so?"

A moment of silence before I grab a chair and fling it at him, my rationality snaps entirely, "And is that what he did? Promised you a good fuck from the servant? I don't care! Let me out of here dammit!"

William barely ducks the chair, his eyes are wide, he moves toward me quickly, my leg twinges as I back into the desk. He grabs my arms hard and shoves me down so I am lying on my back, I lose my balance and for an instant the world is spinning and I feel his hand at my womanhood. I scream as I raise my left leg and somehow I kick at his chest, he falls to his back with a grunt, I stand quickly and grab the second chair. I raise it over my head fully intending to kill him with it, the door opens and I hear someone yelling for me to stop but I couldn't care less. I try to hit him before this new voice can stop me, a strong grip rips the chair from me, I cry out as I fling myself toward William but an arm coils around my waist.

"Clara!" Ander's voice is a sharp command full of something I can't register, I am shaking all over as I resist fighting out of his grasp.




Saving Clara Ch. 03



William stands slowly, he presses his hand to his chest wincing, he glances at me and gives me a sad smile, "I am truly sorry." He sounds so sincere as he exits the room, Ander follows behind him and I am left standing there utterly confused to the entire situation. I pace the room fury deteriorating with the loss of my attacker, as my mind begins to clear I consider why he would sound so sincere after trying to force himself on me. Ander hadn't threatened him, not as he threatened the Marquis, he hadn't even spoken to him... When the door opens I am met with Lord Ander's gaze, he closes the door behind him and locks it pulling the key with him.

He strides past me and sets the key on the desk before he leans against it with his arms crossed, he doesn't initiate conversation and I can't contain my frustration, "Did you tell him to seduce me?"

Ander raises his eyebrow, "Have you forgotten your place?"

I barely manage my frustration, "Did you tell him to seduce me my Lord?"

He studies me, "You are quite perceptive are you not Clara?"

I back away from him, "Let me out of here!" He stares at me, his eyes roam freely over me and I can feel the heat under his gaze, I have thought of his touch often and even in my rage I feel the fire start to burn.

"Have you touched yourself thinking of me Clara?"

I can barely think of what to say, he steps toward me and I cannot make myself move, I am furious but I have craved his presence so desperately that I can't bear to move away. He rests his hand on my wrist, he raises my hand to his face and before I can register what he is doing my index finger is buried in his mouth. My knees weaken and I moan, I rest my other hand on his chest breathing hard as his warm tongue caresses the pad of my finger. I should be angry, I should storm out of the room as a respectable woman would but I don't want to be a respectable woman with him...

He pulls his lips from my finger and his fiery eyes are locked on mine, "Tell me."

I look away from him, when I lose sight of him it makes it easier to think, easier to grasp my anger, he grabs my shoulders and presses me against the door. The gentle forcefulness burns the fire ever hotter and I can barely breathe. He is so close now his scent washes over me and I have missed it so in these past weeks, I close my eyes and try to distance myself from it but his mouth is on my throat. His tongue teases at my earlobe and I clench my hands to fists trying to stifle the pleasure crashing through me, "Tell me sweet Clara."

"Yes my Lord, yes."

"Yes what Clara?"

I whimper as his teeth scrape across my throat, "I have touched myself thinking of you my Lord."

He growls against my neck, "And were you satisfied?" My breathing becomes wild, I try to press against his shoulders, he grabs my wrists and pins them to the wall. His tongue teases along the edge of my jaw, his eyes settle on mine as he grips my wrists above my head in one of his own. Ander's hand is below my skirt in an instant, before I can think against it I part my legs for him, "Tell me your thoughts Clara."

The way he says my name sends sparks down my spine, his finger teases at my entrance and my eyes roll back in my head, "No, my Lord." He studies me, his expression looks pained, I twist against him but his strength is greater than William's and I cannot hope to break away from him. Being trapped intensifies the heat within me, Ander moves quickly. He pulls me from the wall, in one motion he all but flings me over the desk so I am bent over it, I look back to see him yank down his trousers. Sanity crashes over me, I start to straighten but he holds me down, his hand spreads across my shoulders easily hindering my escape. He flips up my skirt, pain blossoms through me, his cock is buried to the hilt within me, "Please my Lord, please don't..."

The initial pain fades quickly, and my pussy eagerly accepts him becoming a complete traitor to my mind. I reach back pressing against his stomach as if it will make him stop, he snatches up my hands and I am helpless beneath him. I tremble beneath him, the crash comes harshly, washing over me before I can prepare and I strain against him as he starts pumping into me, "Ander please!"

But he doesn't hear me. My climax spirals through me, hitting hard, my breath comes in harsh pants, "God I missed your pussy Clara." His voice is a dark growl, it vibrates through me deliciously and I can feel the muscles in my pussy clench around him, "Fuck."

As the wave settles my pussy trembles around him, my whole body feels tense with anticipation. Pleasure washes away my confusion and anger leaving only this instant, his body commanding mine... His thrusts become harder and I can hear the change in his breath, he slams deep within me and his seed fills me. At that feeling reality crashes against me, imagining his damned child within me. Ander pulls from me slowly, he slumps into a chair breathing hard but he looks utterly pleased with himself. I straighten and make about fixing my skirt, I palm the key easily enough, his attention isn't quite sharpened yet. I move around him slowly, as he starts to open his mouth, "Clara what..."

I jam the key into the lock, fling the door open and without much thought I take the key slam the door and lock it. I stand with the key resting in my hand knowing full well that my very actions could mean a lynching, or the mines, but it doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters. Instead of the furious yelling and pounding I expect there is merely silence on the other side of the door, I don't wait for his anger to blossom. Instead I stride from the house to the stables, there are a few stable boys wandering doing their chores but they pay me no mind. I glance at Shadow and before I can give it much thought I open her stall, I manage to climb the side of her stall and I ease onto her back. Her withers twitch but otherwise she doesn't move, I urge her forward and she walks into the open field. There is a fence but that doesn't concern me, I tap her with my heels and she begins trotting, I tighten my legs around her ribs my thigh clenches but the cramp eases away well enough.

I grip her mane and revel in the moment of freedom, I imagine Ander locked in the room finally realizing that it is locked and I have gone. How long will it take for his rage to awaken? The field extends past the fence disappearing behind a hill, I urge Shadow faster and her trot burns down to a run, without breaking step she jumps. My heart races as she clears the fence, for a moment it is like I am flying, when she slams to the ground it jars me hard and I nearly tumble from her. I clamp my legs around her causing pain to spark up to my hip, she slows to an easy walk and I am grateful for it, once we are out of sight of the house I merely pull on her mane and she stops. I slide from her and collapse on the grass, "I shouldn't have done that..." Shadow snorts as she brushes her lips over the grass, "He's going to kill me, I hope he does..."



Saving Clara Ch. 04



Dearest faithful readers, sorry for the long delay, but since I did sort of skip out on you guys I tried to add a bit more depth in this chapter. Open the characters a little more. I really hope it was worth the wait... As always, happy reading!

*****

The grass stabs into my exposed flesh, it is almost painful. I remember my mother telling me that the grass would make me itch, I hadn't listened to her, she had just smiled and let me learn my own lesson. I scratched myself so much I thought I would bleed, mother gave me a cool bath and made the pain go away...

Thoughts of her dry my mouth and make my chest squeeze uncomfortably, she isn't here to make the pain go away anymore. I close my eyes against the glare of the sun, the brightness of it penetrates my eyelids and shines on memories I am not interested in reliving. I could leave. I could run and never look back, after Ander's actions I would have every moral right to. But no legal right... Under the law I don't even exist as a person.

I learned my place quickly enough, honestly the position of a servant is better than none at all. I have seen enough beggars, homeless, and vagabonds to know that is not what I want for my life. I squint over at Shadow standing quite still with her eyes barely open and I am not sure what will happen to her if I am gone. I have been watching Gregor closely over the course of my training and he is kind to the horses, why she bonded with me and not him I am unsure. But I know she will become difficult if I leave. And I can't very well take her with me.

Perhaps Ander will sell me after this transgression, or have me whipped, whatever he decides to do is his right... Whether it is right or wrong doesn't matter. I should know better by now, I shouldn't have run, I shouldn't have opened my mouth... Of course he would do whatever he pleases, I don't know why I expected otherwise. Our coupling still damp on my thighs, I came for him immediately, and it was the most explosive yet. That scares me more than anything. To face him now... But what are my options. In this place I won't get far running away. He would have me back before nightfall.

Before I lose my nerve I stand, my leg clenches tight, I bite my lip through the pain and grip my thigh. The tightness eases away slowly, I shouldn't have ridden Shadow, it was a wild decision. I seem to be making a lot of those lately...

Thankfully the fence doesn't extend too far from where I made my escape. I don't even try to mount Shadow, even walking makes pain prickle through my leg. So I walk with her, I use the fence for leverage trying to keep my weight off it. As I near the house I am surprised to see activity is continuing normally. I haven't been gone that long but surely long enough for someone to have let Ander out and discover my treachery. As I close the distance no one comes running at me, a few servants eye me and Shadow, but none come near.

Once I return Shadow to her stable she starts to eat, knowing that I should return to my Master's wrath immediately I do exactly the opposite, I wander into the washroom and scrub his scent from my body. But it does not ease the feel of his presence against me, his presence within me... My stomach clenches, I try to ignore it because if I don't I will never go back to him and I have little other choice. I wring out my hair as best I can then straighten my clothes, perhaps I was too distracted by pain but my bare skin doesn't itch from the grass. The realization skitters through my mind, a welcome distraction.

I avoid what little gazes are thrown at me, everyone still whispers, I am sure there are rumors as to my removal from my normal responsibilities, but I have heard none of them. As I walk toward Ander's study butterflies swirl through my stomach, he could do anything to me and no one would come to my aid. I pull the key from my pocket and rub it nervously in front of his study door, before I can change my mind I unlock the door and for a moment I hesitate. I am not sure what to expect but I take a deep breath and open the door. Ander is sitting behind the desk scanning a stack of papers before him, he doesn't even look up as I enter, I close the door behind me and move toward his desk. I place the key down, still he doesn't look at me. Confused I consider speaking first, but I don't want to awaken his anger, I turn away fully intending to leave.

"Stay." His voice is low and menacing, I halt in my tracks, the sound of his voice sends tremors down my legs.

I face him to find his eyes upon me, hardened like steel his lips set in an unyielding line, fear trickles through me at his quiet anger. I am more accustomed to the wild tantrums of previous Masters, this is new to me. I should beg his forgiveness, I should at least feign an apology but as I look at him I cannot find my tongue. Even as fear awakens I cannot see past the glorious angles of his face, the light upon him accentuates every line, he looks as if he hasn't shaven in some time. It makes him look dangerous.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself Clara?"

I force my eyes upon his, I am unsure what emotions had shown on my face but the steely look in his eyes seems harder now, "Nothing you would like to hear my Lord."

"Do not assume to know my preferences. You forget your place frequently, have you always been so with your Masters?" His tone is harsh but I don't bow under it.

"I was not born a servant my Lord, please forgive my impetuousness, they are missteps from a girl with too much freedom as a child." The line is one I have used a few times, satisfying my Masters with the idea that I have been cowed and have given in to their will.

"If you are going to lie do not bother speaking." I press my lips into a thin line and Ander's eyes follow the movement, "I actually enjoy honesty, even if I don't agree with it I won't punish you for it. That being said I will not tolerate childish behavior."

My leg is clenching rhythmically, I want to sit down but I am afraid to move, there is a fire in his eyes that stirs a deep fear inside me, "Why did you tell him to seduce me? Was it some sort of sick fun on your part? Do you get enjoyment from such things?"

He narrows his eyes, "Even if I did I own your body in every way that a body may be owned. You are mine." His words become a growl and it sparks a fire inside me, one that sickens me to the core, "But no, I did it to see what type of person you really are. You reacted so quickly to me I wanted to be sure that it wasn't because you were a trollop. I have no interest in such a woman. So I asked for William's assistance."

I bristle, "I told you there was no one else!" He studies me silently and as the silence drags on I snap, "I told you the truth before my Lord."

He leans back in his chair and folds his arms, "No, you were lying. I am no fool Clara, I have been a Lord since birth and lying is an art, while you are quick on your feet you are a poor liar. So I took action to evaluate your nature, if you lie to me I will find other ways to discover what I wish to." I keep my mouth clamped shut, unwilling to admit anything to him, "You are making this situation far more difficult than it needs to be Clara."

"And what of the fact that I told you to stop my Lord?" My words are clipped short and sharp but he merely smiles, the sight drives away my rationality.

"I own your body Clara, and not because you are my servant, I own your body as only a man can own a woman. Your body will always react to me, just because you are foolish enough to think you may resist your desires do not think I shall listen to you." He stands slowly, "Your pussy was wetter for me today than it was the first night I took you, do not think I did not notice your near immediate climax either. You belong to me whether you like it or not."

Ander moves around the desk in a way that makes me think of a cat readying to pounce, I take a step back before I manage to reign in my need to run, I can't run again. I have already received my warning, I do not want to ignite his true anger, "What happens when you tire of me my Lord?"

He stops moving, his eyes sharp on mine now, heavy enough to crush me, "If ever I end this relationship you will continue to work with Gregor. Do you hope for me to tire of you Clara?"

If he had asked me that when I walked in this room I would have said yes, but now I can see a facet of him that was blocked before, "Please don't have someone seduce me again. Please... I..."

Before I can start crying he grabs my shoulders, his heat envelopes me blocking out everything but his existence. It startles me into silence, it is a moment before I tilt my face and look up at him. His eyes are soft, his whole face is open and he cups my neck in his hand. His mouth lowers toward mine and my heart locks in my throat, my breath shallows and I am certain he intends to kiss me. And I haven't the slightest idea if I want him to or not. His expression is so tender, something I haven't experienced from him, his eyes seem brighter as his lips brush mine. His heat lights me up, I start to reach up to hold him against me...

A knock at the door halts him, his eyes snap to the door and he holds me for a frozen moment before letting go, "Complete your daily duties, I shall see to you later."

I scurry out of the room, passing Marie as I go, I haven't seen her in so long I had assumed Ander sent her to the mines or to another house. But there she stands. She doesn't even glare at me, she nods toward me with the tiniest smile, I am left so confused by it I think on her for the rest of the day. Gregor is called away before he can ask me on Ander and I am glad for it. I drift to Ander's room, a place that feels like it belongs to me more than him, and take the time alone to think. He had barely kissed me, I am not sure if that fact brightens my mood or darkens it... I am so confused. I have never felt a desire burn so brightly nor a frustration either. His need to reveal the truth led down a path that I still don't agree with and yet I understand. Even now I am disturbed by my reaction to him, my utter weakness in his presence.

I can't even focus on anger with him, just thinking about him ignites my passion and an even brighter confusion. Upon our first meeting I assumed he was a good man, but now I am not sure what to think of him. Regardless the important thing is that I now have to be honest with him or risk another such event. He hadn't apologized, but he didn't punish me either, perhaps he intends to when he sees me later. I close my eyes and rub my temples, a headache is beginning to form in the back of my skull. If I was free I would run from him, run from this insanity... Would I? My mind battles against my body even now, if I think of leaving it sends a chill down my spine. Before I can be dragged into any more thought I snatch up the book Gregor gave me to read, a collection of short stories translated from Latin stories. The words are simple enough, I managed to read the first story after a few painful weeks of drawing out the sounds.

I begin the second story but I just end up staring at the paper feeling utterly frustrated, the story is so base, I feel like I should be reading this aloud to a child. I set the book aside on the bed and lay back stretching my arms high above my head. I stare up at the ceiling, at least reading makes it impossible to think on other things. Being able to read makes me feel a bit better, my mother's teaching has come back to me in fragments and the memories are bittersweet. I have worked so hard to block her from my mind but now I can't stop thinking about her. She dominates most of my free thought, when I think on how long I have not thought of her it digs a well of guilt. I wish she was near... I am so far from my home... I drape my arm over my eyes refusing to allow the tears to flow.

I hear the soft whisper of the door on the carpet, I don't bother looking up because the only person to enter will be Ander. Gregor always knocks.

He moves to the bed, his weight settles beside me, I hear the soft flutter of pages being turned and I cringe. He will know that I must read children's stories, I don't want him to think me more foolish than he already must. I measure my breathing and wait, but he does not touch me instead he seems to settle into reading. I move my arm and gaze at him, his eyes scan the page a soft frown on his face, he snaps the book closed and glances at me, "Are you trying to get me with child my Lord?"

The question spills from me, whether the answer is yes or no I need to know. He gapes at me, the first time I have seen him speechless, he recovers quickly enough, "What caused that line of thought?"

I swallow hard, "I have not had my monthly since..." I try to wave my hand nonchalantly but it trembles with fear, "my Lord."

His eyes shift over mine before they drift over me, he rests his hand on my stomach his palm to the tip of his finger spanning my waist. I am hyperaware of his largeness as his eyes rest on my abdomen, "No, I would never force such a thing on any woman. The lack of your monthly is due to the tea given to you each evening. I made the decision for you to drink it after we first coupled, how long has this thought bothered you?" I shrug before looking away, "I prefer you answer in honesty Clara."

It takes me a moment to gather the words into a normal order, "Since the second..." I awkwardly lapse into silence, I should tell him the truth I should expose everything to him. He is my master but I cannot bear that sort of honesty, I have never been honest with anyone, it has been so long since I have spoken to another person, let alone my Master. How can I bear to trust him after what he has done, how can I trust someone I can't even begin to understand?

Ander moves his hand so that his palm rests on my breastbone, my breath becomes harsh but I try to resist the urge to meet his eyes, "Our arrangement will dictate that you be honest with me, do you understand Clara?"

He says my name in a low growl, the sound sends heat swirling from where his hand rests, I glance up at him feeling the draw and not bothering to resist it, "Yes my Lord."

"You will call me Ander when we are alone Clara, I have decided that I prefer it that way. When we are alone we are as man and woman, equal in our desires and so our standing. Understand?"

I am well aware of his hand moving ever so slowly up over the swell of my breasts, his hand encircles my throat momentarily before he buries it in my hair, "Yes... Ander."

His name stumbles past my lips awkwardly, it doesn't help that I am fixated on where his hand is, what I feel is akin to fear mixed with unbearable excitement. His eyes caress me, he draws his hand away from me and I deflate at the loss of his touch, he stands and I fear he is going to leave but he turns to face me, "Gregor told me what you have been doing at night." I study his face, his expression is always so controlled, it bothers me that he can read me so easily and I gather nothing from him, "Why were you not honest with me Clara?"

His eyes are so entrancing, I truly did miss him in his absence, but I don't want to rely on him. Trusting him is a weakness I can't bear, "Most of my scars were earned with honesty... I don't know that I can trust you more than my previous masters... I don't know anything about you."

Ander studies my face before he sighs, he stokes the fire and tosses on another log, his eyes remain locked on the fire. I am not sure he will speak, he is silent for so long, "If I asked you to trust me, would you?"

I study him, his chest is so broad, everything about him is very... Intense. Even from behind he is a bit intimidating, I force my eyes away, "No, my Lord. I cannot."

"You were not born a servant." His tone is more statement than question, but I feel his desire for an answer.

"No, my Lord."

"And how did you end up here?" His voice is so quiet, probing, I stiffen under his questions.

I grip the hem of my dress and clench so tightly the fabric knits into my flesh, "My parents sold me, my Lord." The words are clipped to stem the tears threatening to appear, I will not cry in front of him, I have not cried in front of anyone since then... I will not!

"How is your leg?"

The change of subject eases a bit of the tension and I leap at it, "Sore, my Lord."

He moves toward me but I can't look at him yet, he kneels in front of me and lifts my dress over my hips. I bite my lip as he probes my aching thigh, "You are supposed to call me Ander when we are alone Clara."

I close my eyes, there is so much wrong with this whole situation I cannot even begin to understand it. Is it possible to enjoy someone so much without knowing anything about them? Is it healthy to want someone this much? "Apologies."

Something cold touches my leg, my eyes snap to him, the cream is smeared on his palm, he focuses on my leg and applies the medicine so carefully... Almost lovingly... What the hell is wrong with me?! I look away and try to ignore the desire pulsing to life, gaining its own heartbeat within me, if I'm not careful it will take over again, "I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. I have business elsewhere, Gregor will remain here to look after the affairs of the mansion. Will you come with me Clara?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, he could just as easily order me to go with him, it would be easier for me to accept if that were the case. I am used to orders, his need for me to make decisions eats away at everything I have learned of Masters, "My Lord, if you wish for my company then I..."

In one motion he has me pinned to the bed, his knee between my legs effectively spreading them, his hands pin my wrists beside my head. Finally our eyes lock, my heart is beating through my skull, "You are testing my patience Clara. What is bothering you so?"

My breath comes in ragged gasps, "I am frightened." The suddenness of everything forces the truth from my lips, and I could slap myself for it.

Ander leans forward and I fear he will kiss me, but his lips do not seek mine, instead he buries his face in my neck, "I have no desire to hurt you dearest Clara." His voice is soft against the curve of my ear, it causes tremors to race down my spine, "Will you come with me?"

I should say no, of course I should say no, I should stop this insanity before it destroys everything I have fought so hard for... I should shatter this engagement before I get hurt... But even held beneath him I feel free, more free than I ever have before, I feel alive, "Yes... Ander."

His lets out a breath, I feel his smile against my cheek, I hadn't expected such a reaction. When he leans back his face is back to the passive expression I am accustomed to, but there is a fire in his eyes, "I still have not truly apologized for what I did."

I shake my head, "It is fine my Lord." I only catch myself afterwards, a blush creeps over me and he watches it spread across my cheeks, "Ander..."

A dim smile curves his lips, "Do you not deserve an apology?"

I pull against his grip but he does not release me, "Do you believe you were at fault?"

The smile fizzles out, I am disappointed with the loss, "If I did not I wouldn't offer an apology. I acted rashly... You are mine, it has been so long since I have felt such overwhelming desire, such greed. I do own you, but it was not proper of me to act in such a fashion, it was a misguided action. I have dealt with many charlatans, and I assumed you were like them... My deepest apologies." He pulls away from me and bows deeply, the action frightens me, no Master apologizes, nor do they bow to their servant. Ever. I stare at him for so long he breaks the bow and catches my incredulous gaze, "Do you accept my apology Clara?"

Who the hell is this man? "Yes my... Ander." My voice is barely a whisper, I can't make myself move as he reaches for me. He pulls me from the bed, once I stand he twists his hand in my hair, the long black locks allow a generous grip, with his eyes caressing my face I am hyperaware of myself. I wonder what I look like to him, I have never thought myself overly beautiful. But the way he looks at me... I feel what it would be like to be beautiful.




Saving Clara Ch. 04



"Your eyes are like emeralds..." His breath splashes across my lips, the heat makes me tremble, I feel so small pressed against him, everything about my body is pretty narrow. I am a bit thin with a long frame, almost lanky, my breasts are a handful for me, my hips and ass are a gentle flare from my body. I am a bit muscular but it is nothing compared to him, against him I seem all softness. My thoughts are interrupted when he places his hand on my waist and pulls me closer to him, his eyes burning through mine, my heart thunders through my chest. When he leans forward I could pass out from panic, his lips find mine and I can't help but melt into him.

All thought dissolves to be replaced with an electric pleasure, Anders lips are so tender, his tongue traces my lower lip. A moan purrs through me, his mouth curves against mine before his tongue darts into my mouth. The hand on my back moves upward and in a motion my dress comes loose, I pull at it until it pools at my feet. Clothes swirl around us like a hurricane, his lips never leaving mine for more than a moment, at one point I hear something rip but it doesn't matter. The world has blackened around us, leaving only this raging desire. In moments we are tumbling onto the bed, I am on top of him grinding my damp slit along his cock. He growls against my lips and I grin wildly, I love causing that.

Ander flips me over and buries himself within me, I arch against the invasion, the world dims around me as pleasure crackles across my skin, "Mmmm, oh god."

He kisses me harder now, his intensity overwhelms me, all control lost, he thrusts into me with reckless abandon, I rise against him. Accepting everything he has to give, "Fuck Clara. God, you feel so fucking good."

His passive expression has no place here, his body slams against mine, pleasure cascades through our coupling. The width of his cock fills me completely, with every thrust his body rubs against that sensitive nub and I explode around him. I bite him to stifle the scream, my teeth buried in his shoulder, he hisses out a surprised breath. He thrusts into me so hard I feel his hips carving into me, my hands find his back and I wrap my legs so tightly around him he grunts. He moves until we roll from the bed, I stiffen in confusion. I look at him questioningly but he says nothing as he stands, his hands grip my ass, he lifts me effortlessly and slams me onto his long rod. I cry out, this angle allows him to reach even deeper, my vision blurs until all I can see are those stormy eyes.

"Please, please, please."

Ander kisses me hard and fast, "Please what?"

I bury my fingers in his hair, my mind is almost completely shut down, I can't even remember who I am. My body clenches tight, this time I can't even breathe to scream, his cock strains harder to fit inside me and I feel every inch of him. Everything blackens around me, I throw my head back and the moment seems to last an eternity, he thrusts into me once more before spilling his seed. He sits on the bed, untangling me from him he collapses, pulling me across his chest, I have no energy to resist.

This time was different, it is the first time he kissed me, my lips are swollen from the forcefulness of it. I curl against him, he trails his fingers across my back rhythmically until I start to drift to sleep, "Clara?" I am too tired to respond, he pulls away from me and I groan reaching out for him. I hear him sorting through something before his weight settles beside me again. Something silky and cool wraps around my wrists before pulling tight until my arms are secured above my head, my ankles are secured to the sides of the bed, spread wide open for him. I struggle against him but I am so drained, "You didn't say my name."

The words take a moment to register, I stiffen when I realize I came twice without saying his name, I look up at him blearily, "Ander..."

He presses his finger to my lips, "Now you will be silent for me." The demand is hushed but I feel the forcefulness all the same. I lick my lips nervously and his eyes follow the movement, "Your mouth is ever so enticing... Perhaps another time."

I have no idea what he means by that, but I haven't the time to think on it when his hand finds my exposed womanhood. My pussy is still slick from our coupling, his fingers roll over me expertly, until I am burning with desire. I am panting when he draws away, he glances at me then he settles into his chair and stares at me. A blush races across me, I look away from him and bite my lip to stem the flow of questions. I could beg him shamelessly in this moment, but his demand is still fresh in my mind. I am unsure what he hopes to accomplish with this...

As my body starts to cool he moves toward me again, and once again he teases my pussy until I could burst, he twists my nipples until I cry out desperately, "Hush now. So disobedient." I whimper as his tongue laps away the tender pain in my breast, I arch against my bonds, as much as I want to be free it is invigorating to be at his mercy. Ander teases my breasts until my nipples stand at attention for him, my body is tighter than a bowstring for him but he balances me on the edge of release. I squeeze my eyes tight, desperation pulses through me until I would do anything to be rid of this need.

As before, Ander pushes me until I nearly reach the peak then he pulls away, it takes longer for my body to cool the second time. I yank at the bonds until I am convinced there is no escaping them, I let out a low wail when he moves toward me again. I try desperately to close my legs but the bonds are unforgiving, Ander studies my eyes as his hand rests on my stomach, he doesn't even need to touch me now. My body is so desperate that it flares to life at his touch, his fingers trace my curves until he reaches the curve of my neck, his lips barely light upon mine before he pulls away. By the time he reaches for me the fifth time I am delusional, and his order is the last of my concerns, "Please! Ander, please! It hurts... I can't stand it! I'll do anything! Oh Jesus, what the fuck do you want? Please..." By the end I am on the brink of crying, Ander stares at me silently, it drives me mad how he can be so calm while I lose my mind.

"I warned you."

His tone is unbearably cocky, so instead I stop begging and try a different route, "Do I get a turn?" His eyes study mine before a grin plays across his lips, "Don't you want to bury yourself inside me? Isn't it killing you seeing me so hot for you and pulling away? Please fuck me, oh Ander, I want..."

He presses two fingers to my lips but I had anticipated that, I take his fingers into my mouth and draw them to the back of my throat, he gasps and I take that as encouragement. I caress his fingers with my tongue as I keep my eyes locked on his, "Clara..." 

I scrape my teeth along his knuckles and I am surprised when he buries his fingers in my pussy. I moan and try to pull my mouth from his hand but he thrusts into my mouth, deeper than before and I don't resist him. If anything the way he is using me makes me wetter, my pussy is gushing as he fingers me. I rise to the peak but he stops again and I cry out, but he is moving between my legs. His cock slams into my oversensitive cunt, immediate release screams through my body, I buck against him, "Oh! Mmmmmnnnnnggg Ander!"

He grips my ass and lifts my lower body from the bed as he thrusts deep into my pussy, burying himself to the hilt, pounding into me relentlessly until he buries himself with a grunt and I feel his cum filling me, "Oh Clara..."

This time when he collapses he is shaking all over, sweat pours from him so freely that our bodies seem to melt together. I can barely breathe under his weight but I don't want to say anything and have him storm off like before... We lay like that for so long that our bodies cool, and I can finally think straight, his limp cock is still resting within me. He shifts to the side and I groan as our bodies peel apart, he stares down at me for a moment. His eyes caressing every inch of me, he releases my bonds easily. So easily it is bothersome that I was unable to do so myself...

Once free he pulls back the covers and drags me beneath them, pulling my body tight against his own. This is so new that I'm not sure what to do, he lays on his back and pulls me toward him. I don't think I could resist even if I wanted to, and I don't want to. I allow him to drape me across his body, I look up at him and he leans down and kisses me softly before laying back and sighing. He closes his eyes, but I can't stop staring at him, "My Lord?"

He is breathing softly but his fingers are tracing the curve of my shoulders, "Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I bit you..."

His fingers still on my shoulder, he starts to shake and it takes a moment to realize he is laughing, the sound is soft but it rocks through me, "If it bothers you so, you can make amends somehow."

I want to touch him as freely as he touches me, but there is still something that holds me back so I keep my hands still, "What would you have me do my..." I hesitate before I forgo the formality.

His eyes remain closed but he still smiles, "For now we rest my little Clara. There is plenty of time for such things. How is your leg? I got a bit carried away..."

I settle into the width of his chest and close my eyes, "I am perfectly fine." I am silent for a long moment, "Thank you Ander... For everything you have done."

He squeezes my shoulder before settling his hand on my waist, his breath shallows until I am sure he is asleep. Though I am exhausted there is something nagging at me, something I don't want to acknowledge. But it just keeps pressing to the front of my mind, I look up at him sleeping so soundly and my heart squeezes in my chest. Even though I know I can't ignore it I will try anyway, I will try to find every possible flaw in him to avoid more pain. I loved my mother and that is an endless struggle. I will never love again, the words are already a lie...



Saving Clara Ch. 05



I hope you enjoy the newest installment of the story, this is a tad longer, no sex in this episode, sorry guys. I mean I guess they could have done it on the ballroom floor... That could have been interesting. Next time will have some more explanations, soon... :) I kind of rush edited, so please be kind if I missed something. As always happy reading --WH

_______________________________________________

I wake slowly, my body arches against the familiar mass of the blankets, but there is a heaviness in my chest. I glance at Ander, still lost in slumber, he looks so... innocent. I remember last night, a blush flows across my cheeks, no, there is nothing innocent about this man. I want to trace the curve of his jaw, just being near him makes me want to... I close my eyes and take a deep breath, even last night I had behaved so tastelessly. I slide from the bed, yanking on my clothes before I scurry outside.

The cool morning air allows at least a moment of escape from my thoughts, as I near the stables I can see Shadow's head over her stall, ears perked at my approach. I open her stall and pat her down before leading her to the field, she nudges my shoulder, something she hasn't done before. I glance at her before cradling her broad cheeks in my hands, "What is it? Hmmm?"

She tosses her head before trotting into the field, I wrap my arms tight to my chest, the heaviness hasn't eased a bit, I should just ignore it until it passes. But I can't get him out of my mind... The few times I have seen him smile... Honestly I barely know the man! I practically threw myself into bed with him upon the first meeting and now I am tumbling into this chasm of love? My rationality is splintering, there is no way I can care about him, he has told me nothing of himself. I don't know anything about him, and yet, that isn't true because I know he is generous. But he is also a brute... I rub my eyes and groan, "Please, I cannot tolerate much more of this nonsense..."

"She really has connected with you."

I nearly jump out of my skin, my whole body warms with the sound of that all too familiar voice. My heart leaps into my throat, "Yes, my Lord."

"What achieved such a miracle?" His voice is like a caress on my skin, goose flesh rises up my thighs, it takes all my composure to steady my voice.

I shrug, "I merely spoke to her my Lord."

"Is that so? And what did you say to tame the beast sweet Clara?" Ander's voice is moving toward me, I can feel his warmth at my back but still I cannot turn to face him.

I watch her as she grazes lazily, her tail swishing away the morning flies, "I showed her my pain, and she accepted it my Lord."

Ander lapses into silence behind me, his hands encircle my waist until I am pressed against his chest. I wait for him to speak but he says nothing, so we stand in silence as the sun eases past the horizon, so long we stand that the other servant's begin to appear. With a sigh he releases me, "Our belongings have been delivered to our destination, if you wish to have a morning cleanse now would be the time, I have preparations to make with Gregor before we depart. A dress is upon my bed for you, I will meet you in my room soon, please do not stray far."

I finally turn to him, "Of course my Lord." I bow, and when I dare a glance at him I see a pain in his eyes that seems endless, it tugs at my own heart but before I can understand it he is striding away from me. I watch him as he disappears into the stables, even after he is lost from view I stare after him, my heart clutching at that pain in his eyes.

I shake myself from the daze, with a heaviness in my stride I gather Shadow and lead her back to the stables, I stroke her nose gently, "I will not be here for a time, but I will come back for you. Do not worry." I place my forehead against hers briefly, I have to force myself from the stables, I do not know why but I feel uneasy. Seeing such pain in his eyes will not help me get rid of this ache in my heart, I bury the image and try to pretend it never happened. I have done enough forgetting to know I can do it.

The dress is a deep red, a sharp V is cut from the front just below the waist to reveal white tiers of draped fabric, the sleeves are loose and trail to my elbow, the waist will cinch tight along my figure and I cannot even imagine how my breasts are supposed to fit in the thing. I stand staring at the dress for a long time before a soft knock on the door snaps me from my reverie, I tighten the sash of the robe then open the door. I don't know who I expected but it certainly wasn't Marie, she stares at me with those hardened eyes before striding into the room.

"I am meant to help miss into her dress." Her voice is clipped in the manner that I am used to, instead of asking the million questions on my mind I simply undress for her. She helps me into my shift then organizes the dress on my figure, once she is satisfied I am tucked into it properly she begins threading the back. "Lord Ander told me of your influence on his decision about my fate..." I hold my breath as she tugs the dress tight around me, "Come to your door many a time, my hand ready to knock... Perhaps I am just too stubborn. I just want to thank you. My life hasn't been roses and tulips but that doesn't mean I ought to treat everyone bad as I got it."

I feel constrained when she finishes the last tie, she circles me then smiles softly, "I am glad he didn't send you to the mines ma'am. It isn't a pleasant place for anyone, especially a woman."

She studies my eyes for too long, "How do you know that miss?"

I look away before taking a shuddering breath, "My life has never been roses and tulips."

A knock breaks the camaraderie, Marie bustles to open the door, Ander motions for her to leave and she gives him a low bow before scurrying away. When his eyes light on me I see a tinge of surprise light his features, "You look exquisite Clara."

I blush and look away, "This is a dress meant for a lady my Lord."

"It is expected that I dress my..."

He lapses into silence, and the blush chills instantly, "Mistress..." I breathe the word on emotionless lips before I look at him and give a chilling smile, "But of course."

He tugs a hand through his hair, "You are a servant Clara, if I take you to bed then you become a Mistress, and if you accompany me on this trip you will be viewed as such."

I look away from him, "You do not need to explain that to me my Lord."

Ander is staring at me, the tension flowing over me like a river until he lets out a strangled breath, "We must go now, we will have plenty of time for discussion in the carriage."

I hadn't thought of it too much, the idea of being viewed as his Mistress hadn't crossed my mind. Of course falling in love with him had to be at the top of my priorities... I feel disgusted as I accept his hand into the carriage, of course I am his Mistress, what else would I ever be? I take a deep breath as he enters the carriage and then the world is closed to us. Just me and him, as I am used to... That is why I hadn't thought of anyone else, it has just been me and him for so long now...

I know what will happen, I know how Mistresses are treated, they dress like a Lady... I close my eyes against the thoughts, "Clara." I snap to attention, his face is inches from mine, his eyes piercing through me, "What troubles you so?"

I can barely breathe, his lips so close to mine, my eyes flutter dangerously and a smile darts across his face but his eyes remain concerned, "I just... I am not sure my Lord."

He leans back, dressed in fine black fabric with accents of gold and red along the contours, his sleeves completely covering his strong arms, and black boots blend with his trousers. I haven't seen him dressed so elegantly, it steals my breath, "If you wish to stay..."

I look away from him, "No, my Lord. May I ask the purpose of this venture?"

Ander slides closer to me on the plush seat, his arm draping across my shoulder, "Merely business I was unable to leave to Gregor."

I glance up at him, tension building in my shoulders, "And what is my purpose on this trip my Lord?"

His stormy eyes collide with mine, so tender it pulls at my heart, "I enjoy your presence." I shouldn't have come... I can't bear him saying such things to me, I feel so weak in his presence, helpless. I should have refused him in the very beginning, now everything is spiraling out of control, and I don't know one thing about him, "All will be well dearest Clara."

Of course he is worried for me, I am breathing like a drowning woman, I look away to hide the tears threatening to fall, "Yes, my Lord."

He lets out a heavy sigh, "Clara, I do not wish to have the same discussion with you every time we are left alone."

I clench my hands, I take a deep breath and force away the desperation, "Apologies Ander, it will not happen again."

He trails his fingers through my hair before shifting away from me, "If anyone makes you feel in any way unwelcome I insist that you tell me of it. Do you understand Clara?"

I idly smooth the front of the dress, "Yes." But he won't be able to stop them, everyone will look at me in horrible ways, I have met many Mistresses, they dress like a Lady and everyone is nice enough on the surface... I take a deep breath before I let go of the fear, I will deal with the situations as they arise, I have lived through worse, this will be nothing compared to my entire life.

"This venture is entirely business, we are the guests of the Duchess Amelia, her late husband had a partnership with me a few years ago. She has shown prowess in his stead, so I have extended an invitation to her. She has agreed to meet in person on her estate, presumably to decide if I am the sort of company she wishes to be associated with."

I glance at him, "Bringing me will tarnish this visit, will it not?"

Ander smirks, "Bringing you will show that I do not care on her view of me, I enjoy your company, and so you are here." His view is so simplistic, and yet I feel like there is something he is hiding from me. Perhaps he is using me in some way, but at the moment I can't imagine how, "Amelia is notorious for extravagant parties, for even the smallest affair, so while this is a business meeting she has put together a ball. And I will need a dance partner."

I study him, he seems more relaxed all of a sudden, ever since he discovered I wouldn't lie with William, I turn that thought in my mind slowly, "I have never danced, at least not properly."

Ander shrugs, "That is why I shall lead you, you need only trust me to do so."

His words feel double-edged, I pretend not to notice, "Why is she having a ball for a business meeting?"

He frowns, the corners of his mouth crease with the motion, "She enjoys putting on a show, other than that flaw she is an excellent businesswoman."

"What does she do?"

"Her husband built a large empire similar to mine, investments in the proper industries and such, but he was foolish, he lost a sum of money to the wrong people and eventually he disappeared. Since Amelia has taken over she put in the last of her dowry in the right places and managed to bring the business back to speed. She has a few investors in her pocket that I would appreciate having, and since they are in business with her I cannot get to them unless I go through her."

"So her husband was killed?"

Ander shrugs, "He owed money to the wrong people, he made promises he couldn't keep, he just disappeared one day. His body wasn't found until it was nearly unrecognizable, there were too many suspects so it remains unsolved."

I bite my lip, there are more questions to ask, but they all lead nowhere so I leave them alone, "Ander?" He hums a response and holds my gaze, "Why is Gregor teaching me?"

He takes a deep breath, "Gregor also enjoys your company, he appreciates sharp minds and he believes you to be worth the effort. And I allow him to do so to keep your mind active, you are a bright young woman Clara, if you had been born a lady you would have been exceptional."

But since I was born a servant I am acceptable... I force away the painful thoughts, I am used to being viewed in such a way so I let it pass, I cannot let his words hurt me because they are true. If I was born at the correct station he would be able to love me... I close my eyes and take a steadying breath, I cannot break under this. I cannot let this simple thing take hold of me, I take hold of my love for him and bury it deep, along with the images of my mother, the screaming... And then all is silence and cool morning air, I feel lighter with the loss of everything.

"I have something for you." I jump at his voice, I had lost sense of my surroundings, he opens a square velvet box to reveal a beautiful golden necklace adorned with deep red stones. I stare at it for far too long before I look up at him, "Turn and hold your hair up."

I breathlessly obey, my whole body is tense with apprehension, the gift is too much, everything about him is too much for me to comprehend. I tremble slightly when he secures the necklace to my throat, the weight of it is so unfamiliar, it has been so many years since I have worn jewelry, "It's beautiful..." Much too beautiful for me to wear, though Mistresses are known to receive lavish gifts from their... I slap away the vulgar word and turn to him with a forced smile, "Thank you."

Ander studies my eyes for a moment before he caresses my cheek, "Perhaps one day I will see your smile." I blush and look away, "Until then." He grips my chin and his lips possess mine, I stiffen in surprise then melt against him, his tongue darts across my lower lip. I moan, allowing him access to my mouth which he wastes no time claiming as his own. I am panting when Ander pulls away placing a tender kiss on my trembling lips before he releases me.

I glance up to see him studying me with a soft smile, "You turn the most interesting shades of pink."

My blush burns deeper, causing his smile to widen, "You are aware that it is possible I could embarrass you on this trip?"

Ander's smile does not waver, "Highly unlikely, much more likely is that I will embarrass myself as I am known to do."

I cock my head at him, "How so?"

He shrugs, "Have you never heard the gossip?"

There is a soft undertone to his voice, that same cold edge from our first meeting, I hold his gaze, "I am not involved in the gossip, and even if I were prone to it the others turn to silence when I enter a room."

Those stormy eyes study me before they settle, "I am not the most gracious host, nor guest for that matter, I speak my mind in all situations even if it does not benefit me. That is why I appointed Gregor, he has a certain grace that I lack."

"How long will we be staying at Lady Amelia's home?"

Ander shrugs, "That depends on Amelia, her ball will be held this evening which is what we will be arriving to, but I must stay until I can convince her to deal with me."

"What will you do if she refuses?"

Ander frowns, "I will make do with the connections I currently have, I do not need her per say, I would prefer our union but if she will not cooperate I have no reason to seduce her to the idea." A moment of silence before he continues, "When we arrive you will behave just as you are used to. Do you understand Clara?"

The way he talks I feel like a child, I look away to hide my displeasure, "Yes my Lord." We had been having a moderately pleasant conversation, I had all but forgotten what I am to him, and yet I will never be able to forget...

The carriage comes to a stop and the door is swiftly opened, Ander steps out first then offers his hand to me, I have to swallow the lump in my throat before I can accept. The house of Lady Amelia is disturbingly large, Ander's home looks practically insignificant compared to hers. The doors are opened by two well-dressed servants, once inside I lose my breath, a sweeping staircase leads to the second floor of the home, there are gaudy statues lining the entry with a surprising array of servants waiting with stony faces.

An assortment of guests are already filtering toward a huge ballroom, the doors are slung wide revealing glittering decorations, thick drapes pulled aside to allow the afternoon light in, everyone is dressed magnificently. I feel a bit drab in comparison, "Lord Ander! How kind of you to join us, fashionably late as always, perhaps due to preparing this little delicacy?"

Ander's eyes flash up to the voice, and I glance up to see an exquisite woman, "It is always a pleasure to see you Amelia, this is Clara."

Her auburn hair is pulled away from her face, accentuating her sharp cheekbones, her eyes are a dark chocolate, and her breasts all but spill from the pale blue dress cinched tight around her slim waist, "I was unaware you intended to bring a guest." She draws out the word guest while she drags her eyes over me, the insult isn't even slightly veiled but Ander doesn't seem to notice, "That dress is quite simple in its elegance, it fits you very well my dear, what was your name again?"

I am used to this game, I force my well-used smile, "Clara, my Lady, you seem quite distracted for someone of your standing."

Amelia's eyes cut into me, her smile is large, and horrifically fake, "Oh sweet girl, you are most mistaken, I am quite attentive to the important details."

I smile broader, if possible, "Of course, my Lady, excuse my presumption."

She is simmering behind those long lashes but she turns her attention to Ander, "What an interesting little delight you have brought into my home, how did you two meet? At one of your business meetings?"

She knows very well I am a servant, or I wouldn't address her so formally, "Where was it that we met again?" I glance up at him, wondering what he is doing, his arm snakes around my waist as he draws me to him, "I can't see that it is any of your concern how I met my divine Clara. We will speak of business over dinner I am sure, but for now I would love to show Clara the glory of your home and guests."

With that Ander pulls me away from her, and the way she stares after him I finally understand why he brought me, "How dare you..."

Ander glances down at me, "Did you say something?"

I bite back my venom and force a smile, "No my Lord."

His face seems a bit pinched but we are drawn into the crowd of people and he is distracted by conversation, introducing me to endless people, I am careful to retain their names. I complement women on their hair, fantastic garb, and jewelry, by the time we have found a quiet corner there are many who have complimented Ander on his glorious find. As if I am a dog who knows outlandish tricks, I bite back my frustration because they are all quite kind, no one has said much on my presence except Amelia. I see her intermittently through the evening, her eyes watch Ander longingly, completely disregarding my presence, I am careful not to glare at her.

But I am entirely frustrated with Ander, she is completely smitten with him, and he has drawn me here, I assume, to halt her advances. This will only make my life more miserable, I can tell by her gaze that she is not likely to let me possess him, as if I even want that...

Music starts to play, the heavenly draw of a violin pulls at me, Ander leans toward me with a wicked grin, "May I have this dance?"

He bows and I blanch, I push him up and keep my eyes downcast, "It is highly irregular for a Master to bow to their Mistress my Lord."

Ander clutches my chin and forces my gaze on his, "Irregular, but not unheard of." He studies my eyes for a breathless moment before he slowly bows before me, "I shall ask again, may I have this dance my sweetest Clara?"

I can feel people looking at us, I blush wildly, "Yes please my Lord." Anything to make this moment end, when he pulls me into a space cleared for dance I am more than surprised to be the first couple dancing. Ander moves with such grace that it takes all my concentration to keep up, I used to dance all the time with my mother, these are steps that I recognize, the realization makes the dance bittersweet. The only thing keeping me from running is Ander's firm grip on my hand, his other hand placed stiffly on my waist, I want nothing more than to take back my decision... I should have stayed at his manor, stayed and pined after him, stayed and cried for him, anything but this tugging on my heart. I blink up at him to find his gaze studiously glued to my face.




Saving Clara Ch. 05



"What troubles you my dear?"

If only it was so simple to just tell him, if I could just... I force a smile, "I am trying to concentrate on the steps my Lord."

His grip changes and suddenly my body is flush to his, I grip the curve of his shoulder in surprise, he easily twirls me across the floor, and somehow my feet keep pace, "As long as you follow me you will be quite alright my dear."

Again I hear an underlying meaning, "Why?" I can think of no other way to articulate the question and yet I need the answer.

He grins a secretive smile before he really starts moving so that I can barely keep up, let alone talk, the violin is paving a dangerous path but it is glorious and I revel in the dip and pull of Ander's movements. I find I can move easily with him, I know his body well enough to follow the slight ministrations, when the music comes to a halt he dips me dramatically. My hair coming dangerously close to the shimmering floor, he is breathing heavily and his stormy eyes are bright with excitement, I am breathing hard as I stare up at him, and for a moment all I want is to kiss him, pretend I am not his servant. Applause explode around us, they draw me back to reality and Ander reluctantly raises me upright, I blush wildly at the attention but Ander is smiling broadly. And I haven't the slightest idea what has made him so cheerful, before I have time to consider it the dance floor is filled with more guests.

Ander pulls me to the side, he snatches two glasses of wine and extends one to me, I tentatively grip the thin glass, "How are you enjoying the evening so far my dear?"

I stare up into those endless eyes and I am unbelievably frightened of him, at this very moment my heart is trembling in his hand, he need only say a sharp word to me and it would burst. I don't want to be afraid, I just want to stop whatever this is before I fall any further, I cannot do this, there is no way it will end happily, "Everything is quite lovely my Lord."

His eyes caress my face, Ander lifts the glass to his lips and suddenly my mind slips into what could have been, I could smile with him, dance with him every evening, sleep peacefully beside him... I blink away the thoughts and take a slow drink, "You are a much more elegant dancer than I imagined."

I take a deep breath, "I merely followed your lead my Lord."

His gaze sharpens, but I say nothing more, "Who knew you could still dance!?" The sound of that voice makes my blood run cold, I turn to see William grinning widely at Ander and for once Ander's tension seems to ease away. William looks at me and bows too low, "I offer my deepest apologies to you Clara." My grip tightens dangerously on the thin neck of the glass, I could snap it in half and stab him with it, and feel no remorse...

"William's behavior was my doing Clara."

I glance up at Ander to find his eyes dark with guilt, I look away from them both, "You can do no wrong by me my Lord."

There is a moment of endless silence before Ander sighs, "Clara."

I look up at him with a blatantly fake smile, "Yes my Lord?" I draw the lord through my teeth as if it is a curse and it is not lost on him, I am so angry with him right now, I am so angry that this stranger is staring between us, angry that he is apologizing as if I should forgive him. As if I could... But I forgave Ander...

The thoughts are raging like wildfire and I can't keep up with them, "Dinner is served!" The voice booms impossibly over the crowd, it startles me from my thoughts, William is staring at me his eyes full of thoughts I can't begin to know. He lowers his eyes and his face is somber as he backs away, "My most humble apologies Miss Clara." His voice sounds pinched but he strolls away without another word.

Ander doesn't move with the rest of the crowd, I study the wine to distract from what I know is coming, once the room is completely cleared he moves away from me and it is the first time all night that he isn't touching me in some way. The loss is unnerving, "He would not have hurt you Clara. Even if you had been willing he would not lie with you, I need you to understand that. William is my closest friend which is the only reason I entrusted him with the task, that and..." He hesitates before he sighs softly, "I cannot make it better Clara, as much as I would like to. If you are cross then it must start with me."

I stare up at him, mystified by him as I feel the anger ease from my heart, as if he has merely dusted it from my throbbing heart. His gray eyes search my face before he reaches forward and cups my cheek, "Ander I..."

"My Lady has asked that I find you my Lord, dinner is being served at this moment." The servant is a young girl, her eyes downcast as she relays her message, I blush at being caught in such an intimate moment. Ander rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, slowly, and I tremble at the thoughts that leap to mind, "My Lady has insisted that you sit with her, my Lord. If you would follow me."

Ander takes my arm and we walk leisurely behind the girl, my heart is in my throat when she shows us to an enormous dining hall, there has to be nearly a hundred guests. I see Amelia at the head of the table, with one empty seat beside her, I bristle at the sight but hide the irritation from my face. When we arrive beside her the servant moves the seat for Ander but he makes no move to sit beside her, instead he glances along the table before he smiles down at Amelia, "I suppose we must speak later, I shall not leave my dear Clara to the care of strangers."

He starts to pull me away when a gentleman rises, "She may have my seat my Lord." I study his pudgy cheeks and bright green eyes, his hair is thinning around his forehead but he looks so cheerful.

He winks at me, "You have my thanks Lord Taylor."

His smile expands, "Anything for a Lady that remembers my name, perhaps I will steal you away from that stuffy Lord and make you a proper lady."

Ander's grip tightens on my waist, "Not without a fight my Lord."

Taylor's laughter booms deep within his chest, he gives a nod to Ander before sauntering away, I glance at Amelia to find her eyes burning into me. Oh dear... I settle into the chair away from her but it doesn't draw her fiery gaze from me, Ander settles beside me but his presence does not make me feel safer. If anything, him waving me in front of her face is making me more nervous, but I cannot go back now.

My wine is bubbling in front of me, enticing me to drink, but I know a bit about alcohol and I know I cannot hold it well. I must be on my guard with this woman and that vile liquid will do nothing for me, "You have taught your charge how to dance very well, seems she has mastered the basics."

I look at Amelia and give her a small smile, Ander speaks before I can, "It seems she has a natural talent for it then, I taught her nothing of the sort."

Amelia's smile does not reach her eyes, "Oh. That is a lovely discovery then."

I could laugh in her face, she is losing and it is a glorious sight but we are here for an unknown amount of time so I don't push my luck. Before she can think of more biting dialogue the food is placed before us, a small salad, dressed with wedges of tomatoes and crisp cucumber. Once everyone is served they look to Amelia before eating, she stands and I am met with her glorious figure again which makes my stomach turn, "I am ever pleased to invite all of your lovely faces to my home, business partners and friends alike, I have had a prosperous year and wished to share it with those who made it possible. To new partners in business and in life." She is staring at Ander when she says it and I can feel him stiffen beside me, his tension showing in the line of his jaw, "Clara, would you lead us in prayer?"

Of course, I take a shallow breath to ease my irritation with her, "It would be my honor my Lady." I shouldn't know prayer, she is trying to embarrass me, but I am in no mood for it. I bow my head and clasp my hands, "Praise God, from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise Him above, ye heavenly Host, Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. All creatures that on earth do dwell. Sing, to the Lord, with cheerful voice. Him serve with mirth, his praise forth tell. Come ye before Him , and rejoice. The Lord ye know is God, indeed, without our aid He did us make. We are His flock, He doth us feed, and, for His sheep He doth us take. Dear Lord, thank you for this food. Bless the hands that prepared it. Bless it to our use and us to your service, and make us ever mindful of the needs of others. Through Christ our Lord we pray. Amen."

The resounding Amen sounds like my mother's voice, I look up to convince myself I am not at home, I blink away the surreal feeling and smile softly. Amelia is staring at me with a wistful smile, "Such an elegant prayer, who taught you?"

She isn't playing by the rules any more, she is angry her ploy didn't work, "My mother taught me when I was very young my Lady."

Amelia smiles sinisterly, "Oh? And how did she come to know it?"

She is probing too far, "I never came to ask her my Lady."

Her eyes glitter, "May I ask what happened?"

Her venom is barely veiled at this point, Ander places his hand on mine before he speaks, "That is quite enough Amelia." His tone is low and unbelievably cold, I keep my face carefully guarded but leave the smile.

Her eyes burn with intrigue, "Please enjoy the meal my dear girl."

The first course passes in relative peace, idle conversation drums around us and I am glad for anyone's voice that isn't hers. Once the second course is brought out she seems to have regained her nerve, "How were you able to gain the attentions of Lord Ander Clara? Truly I must hear this epic tale."

There are so many directions I could take this, I am careful with my next words, "Upon one of my Lord's rare parties a guest attempted to take advantage of my virtue, by chance I was saved by my Master, and I do not assume to know why he retains interest in me, but I aim to please my Lord."

It is the closest to the truth that I am willing to say, Ander chuckles beside me, drawing my gaze to him, "Yes, I broke Marquis Barnett's hand defending her honor, it was quite exciting."

"You broke the Marquis' hand defending a servant?" Amelia's voice is high with surprise, her eyes are large as saucers and the sight is quite entertaining.

Ander blinks at her before responding, his tone even and deadly, "I should have broken his neck for what he attempted, and I should have protected her more thoroughly, she is my servant, yes. But do not speak of her as if she is an object, because she is not, her value exceeds that of anyone I have met. Servant or no."

I stare at him incredulously, my heart is swelling in my chest and it frightens me, yes, oh God yes I should have stayed at the manor, this was a horrible mistake, "Brave words Lord Ander."

Amelia's voice is distant to my ears because I don't care about anyone else at this point, I am so frightened of him, I do not understand where all of this is coming from. Why is he suddenly so open about me in front of them? Unless... I look down at my plate as the dark thought clouds the sun in my heart, perhaps it is a ploy to convince her to abandon romantic advances, I take a deep breath before I force away any happiness that still remains from the words, "And what think you on your Master Clara?"

I look up at her, and I see a bit of uncertainty in her gaze, "Lord Ander has graced me with much more than I deserve, my station should award me none of his graces, and yet he finds me worthy of them. I pray only that I do not displease him my Lady."

Amelia studies me for a long moment before she looks away, her face is pensive as she stabs at her meal. The rest of the evening passes in relative peace, Ander does not speak to me and I am glad for it, I don't think I can handle much more of this treacherous game. Amelia finally extends her conversation to her other guests so I am left to stew in my own thoughts, once dinner is cleared away I am exhausted.

Ander touches my hand, startling me from my thoughts, "Amelia I would be grateful if you could have Clara shown to our room for the evening. We can discuss business now if you wish."

She seems to perk at the words, she will be alone with him, my scalp prickles but I keep my mouth shut. It is none of my business what he decides to do with this venomous shrew, and if he does sleep with her... I chill at the thought, "She will show you to your room, have a pleasant sleep dear."

Her smile is cold, I excuse myself from the table and bow to Amelia, "It was a most pleasant evening my Lady, thank you."

The servant is the same shy girl from earlier, once away from the gaze of the others I relax slightly, "Your room is just here my Lady."

I stare at her as she opens the door, "I am not a lady ma'am."

She looks at me and laughs, "Yes, well I am not a ma'am. You are well aware but I am unaware how to address you."

I study her and she seems quite young, possibly fifteen, "My name is Clara, as far as I am aware Mistresses are meant to be called by their names."

She frowns, "I am Jess, so your Master took you as a Mistress? Is he entirely unkind?"

I know better than to divulge too much to servants because of the habit of gossiping but it is nice to be around someone who isn't judging me, "No, he is quite kind. Thank you for showing me to my room, I am sure I will see you tomorrow."

I give her a soft smile and she takes the cue gracefully, "Sleep well Miss Clara."

Once closed in the room I lean against the door, my heart is shuddering in my chest, beating so hard I am certain it will fail me. Why must he confuse me so? If I had any warning of this it would have been easier hearing such sweet lies but now I haven't the slightest idea if it was true or not... I close my eyes against the rising tide of fear, he is alone with her, the auburn beauty, the woman who has a right to speak to him, a right to bed him... I slide to the floor near the fireplace and hug my knees to my chest, I am unbelievably tired but I cannot bear to sleep knowing he is with her...

I will never be able to tell him the truth, if he asks me to tell him how I learned to dance I cannot begin to explain it to him. My mother swims into my mind and I want to scream, she fell in love and it created me, it ruined her life... The mere thought of my father leaves me paralyzed with hatred, no, I will never tell anyone what happened. I can never trust him with that, this is the one promise I cannot break, because if he betrays me I will be dragged back into a darkness I remember all too well.



Saving Clara Ch. 06



First of all I would like to extend my thanks to my faithful readers, it has been some time since I started this tale and I nearly gave up on it until I ventured back and found my readers still waiting. For that I must apologize, I have followed stories only to be disappointed by them so it was entirely selfish of me to do such a thing. With that being said, your support goes a long way, I enjoy reading your comments and it is nice to know that there are people out there who enjoy my writing.

I do not use an editor, I am aware there are mistakes in my writing, but I do not believe my writing is of consequence to someone else. Meaning I do not believe this story is of enough value to be poured over by an editor. I apologize if my literary efficiency is not up to par for some readers.

Again I want to thank my most faithful readers, some of which have helped to shape this story with their comments, and others which have successfully pressured me to continue.

As always, happy reading. -WH

*****

A knock on the door shatters my cocoon of thought, I drag a hand through my hair as I open the door, "Lord Ander instructed me to bring this to you."

I stare at the cup of tea, so innocent yet full of so many implications, "Thank you Jess."

She drops her eyes as I sip the tea, she fidgets with the hem of her dress as I finish the tea, it tastes faintly of lemon and the slightest tinge of rose. I tip the last drops of the liquid down my throat then extend the cup to her, she gives a slight bow before scurrying away without another word. I watch her leave, uneasy for some reason, she is acting differently now... Perhaps Amelia warned her not to speak to me, it seems a reasonable assumption so I brush away the feeling and close the door.

Once within the silence of the room I am immediately dragged back to my dark thoughts. Amelia is dangerous, her treatment of me is not unheard of, but she could just as easily become volatile... I glower into the fire, how am I meant to defend myself from a woman of standing? I can act like a Lady, but truly she will always win, because she is better than me, she will always be one step above me. Ander's acceptance of my body means nothing in regards to my standing, Amelia does not believe I am better than her, she is upset I have taken what should be hers. Rightfully so. In every respect I am not worthy of Ander, I should not even pretend such a thing, and yet... I touch the necklace and sigh, I want so desperately to slip into the illusion he has so gracefully painted, but I will never be able to escape, lest he burn it on a whim and me with it.

I can't ease my tension trapped here, Ander has not returned and the fire has died to mere embers. I haven't the slightest idea at the hour but I am certain dawn is fast approaching and I cannot bear to wait for him to return, my thoughts are heavy with self-doubt and dread. Truly, if he decides to bed Amelia it will be a better match for him than I, she is an intelligent woman of proper standing, and their match would be highly approved... I stand, pinpricks spark through my legs and blackness swirls my vision, I stride out of the room; anything to escape the horrific thoughts.

The manor is eerily silent, the halls dim and lifeless, as I walk I haven't the slightest idea where I should go, but I cannot stop myself. The silence makes my movement seem ethereal, as if I am trapped in a dream, drawn to something I cannot find. I will not seek out Ander, perhaps that is what Amelia wishes me to do, even so, it is not my place to look for my Master. I find myself within the ballroom again, the floor looks like ink in the darkness, the curtains have long since been pulled to. And yet a shaft of moonlight has pierced the center of the curtains and lands upon the edge of a piano. Upon studying the ivory keys I see a glint from the corner of my eye, a violin is lying upon the ground, the beauty of it drags me forward.

My intention is to place it somewhere more befitting of such perfection but when it is in my hands I remember the feel of it, I remember playing for so long my fingertips became raw. I tore my nails when I first started to learn the notes, I close my eyes and place the violin against my chin, reveling in the familiarity, "One day you will play for the masses, just keep practicing Clarice." My mother's voice is so real my eyes snap around the room, but it is just a memory, I rub my eyes and move to set the violin on the seat of the piano but the bow is there. Glinting at me, tempting me... Perhaps it is the lack of sleep that limits my inhibitions but I can't think of a reason not to play just one note.

With the bow in my hands I feel normal, the first few notes are dreadful, but after a few draws my hands remember the motions and I am drawn into a nameless flurry of notes. The bow is racing across the strings, my heart is thundering to the rhythm of my fingers flying across the strings to keep pace with the music in my mind. Nothing else matters, not my past, not my future, not even Ander. All that exists in this moment is the endlessness of the music, the sound drowning out the world, I close my eyes completely falling victim to the freedom of it.

"How interesting." The voice stills my hands and I stand stunned with what I have done, when I open my eyes I see the familiar figure of Amelia, her face cast in shadow.

I drop the violin to my side, all the energy spills from me, "My Lady..." I should say something else but I cannot find the words, so I remain silent.

"You have a multitude of intriguing talents it seems, and yet..." She moves toward me, when her face is touched by the moonlight she looks like a Goddess, "Did your dear mother teach you to play violin as well?"

I drop my gaze to the floor, I curse myself for being so foolish, "I do not remember my Lady."

"Oh?" Amelia reaches forward, for a moment I fear she will hit me but instead she touches the necklace at my throat, "So strange that Ander would give you such a gift."

I keep my gaze lowered, "It was most kind of him to do so my Lady, though I do not do them justice."

"On the contrary," Her voice is lilted, it surprises me enough to draw my gaze to hers, "It is quite beautiful, just as you are. But the glass is quite worthless, no matter how beautiful it may be."

She taps her fingernail against the ruby and I hear the click of glass, my heart locks in my chest and I feel sick. I should keep my mouth shut, but I am tired of her, "Perhaps it is better I understand my place instead of striving for that which does not desire me. I know very well that my value is based in a moment, although it is invigorating to know I have value, some are not so fortunate. Even if Ander does tire of me he is unlikely to rise so high as to capture a cloud-headed beauty."

Amelia clutches the necklace, "You dare say your Master's name without the proper respect? Must I teach you of your place?" She tears the cheap garment from my neck, the metal tears into my skin but I keep my face well-guarded as she leans toward me, fury dancing in her eyes, "When I convince Ander to consider a marriage I will make sure he sends you far away for such a transgression."

I study her eyes before I shove the violin into her arms, "If you convince him to lie with you then I would gladly rest in the bowels of Hell to escape such a travesty. Good evening my Lady."

I move to step around her but her hand cracks across my cheek stunning me into stillness, it has been some time since I have been struck, "You will not move, you must be punished for speaking your Master's name."

I glare at her, "If I am punished it will be at my Lord's hand, it will not be at yours!" She moves to strike me again, but I expect it, I move around her grasp. She shrieks and flings the violin at me, catching me by surprise. It slams into my hip and pain shoots through my thigh, I back away from her as she thunders toward me.

"Clara!" Ander's voice makes Amelia freeze in her tracks, her eyes wild as she looks up at him.

I look back and I can barely make out his form, let alone his expression, he moves forward slowly and I see his hands clenched at his sides. He grabs me and in one motion he scoops me up, "You must teach your Mistress her place Ander, she is quite disobedient." Amelia purrs his name and it makes my eyes water with fury. Ander adjusts his grip under my knees before leaving the room in silence, once out of the ballroom I glance up at him, afraid of the anger he must surely be containing.

With his long strides we are within the room in moments, he gently sets me on the bed before he takes a deep breath and stokes the dying fire, when his silence extends into awkwardness I can't contain myself, "You should not have brought me here my Lord." 

He lets out a long breath before he turns to me, he moves toward me slowly and I am certain he will strike me, if he does it will shatter everything, perhaps it is better this way. When he raises his hand I try not to flinch but I am scared. As much as I want this emotional turmoil to end I did not imagine it would fall apart in this fashion, "Did she hurt you Clara?"

I keep my eyes downcast, "No my Lord, she threw the violin at me, although it surprised me more than anything."

Ander moves away from me and I hear the door, I glance up in time to see him leave the room, I stare after him completely lost as to what I am expected to do. I cannot bear to think what sort of punishment he is manufacturing, because that can be the only explanation, I did not behave as he instructed me to, now there is nothing to be had but punishment. I am drowning in my fear when he slides into the room, he is holding a large glass decanter of some amber liquid, and one small crystal glass.

Without a word Ander slides onto the bed, he pushes the bottle and glass into my hands before pulling at the ties on the back of my dress. My whole body pulls tight with apprehension, I cannot imagine what he is going to do but I cannot resist him, I cannot... I clench my eyes and bear the fear with as much dignity as I can manage, "You are trembling dear Clara."

I clench the glass, "I am merely cold my Lord."

Once the last tie is undone he plucks the glass and bottle from my hands, "Is there someone in the room that I am not aware of?"

I glance back at him, "My lord?" He cocks his head and studies me for a long time before I understand, I look away, "Apologies."

"Get undressed." Ander moves from the bed into the adjoining room, I cannot imagine what he is thinking, I can feel his anger, I just wish he would get it over with. I stand and shakily step out of the dress, I reluctantly pull away the shift then await his return. For the first time I try to cover myself, Ander enters the room his chest deliciously bare and for a moment my fear disappears under a wave of desire. I study the thickness of his chest and I can barely breathe seeing the dark expanse of hair, every muscle in his chest is well-defined and his pajama bottoms are hanging dangerously on his smooth hips. His chuckle yanks me out of my thoughts, "Put this on."

He hands me a long shirt, as I reach for it his eyes trail across my nakedness, a blush races through me and his lips quirk in the most dashing smile yet. I grip the shirt just as he pulls forward so I tumble into his arms, I brace myself against him, my palms resting on the firmness of his chest, "Have you the slightest idea how difficult it was for me to keep from ravishing you on the dance floor?"

I stare up at him, all the air is stolen from me as I see into those endless eyes, those darkened, lustful, beautiful eyes, "Oh..."

Ander kisses me softly, all the fear disappears to be left with that aching neediness, I lean into him and accept the tenderness of this moment. His lips remain soft, instead of dominating me he seems to be teasing me with gentle passes of his tongue on my bottom lip. He ends the kiss suddenly, "As tempting as that sweet mouth of yours is," he pulls away leaving me feeling bereft, "that is not my intention. At the moment."

I pull on the long shirt, it smells distinctly like him, it barely reaches mid-thigh but it is better than being naked. I look up at him and the edge of fear is returning, Ander has the bottle and glass again, he is climbing to the foot of the bed. Once he is settled comfortably he motions for me to sit across from him, I slowly oblige him, and when I am braced against the headboard with my legs crossed, my hands pining the shirt down he smiles slowly, "I am well aware it is my responsibility to punish you," I shrink away from him, "Luckily for you I do not enjoy seeing you in pain, being the cause of it would not sit well with me, while I do not enjoy punishment in general I am particularly loath to subject you to it. Add to that fact I do not believe you deserve punishment. That being said, I do believe you need to trust me and I, you. So we will play a game of questions."

I stare at him, completely dumbfounded, "Oh?"

Ander sets the glass between us, filled with a shot of the amber liquid, "This is our payment, so if I ask you a question you do not wish to answer you must take a drink and if you are caught in a lie you must take two drinks. The game is simply questions, no one need know what we speak of, I will never speak to anyone and I would venture to assume you will do the same."

I study his face, "Why would we do this when it is just as simple to ask each other?"

He shrugs, "This makes it more exciting, because alcohol will limit your inhibitions, so you will be more likely to answer questions if you drink too much in the beginning. It is a game of knowing your limits and which secrets are most important to you."

This is incredibly dangerous, I stare at the glass, if I blatantly refuse he will know I am hiding something substantial but if I do this it puts all my sacrifice to risk... I lean forward, "When does the game end?"

Ander smirks, "When I lose interest in asking questions or when we run out of alcohol."

I gnaw on my lip, the motion draws his gaze and his eyes darken in an instant, he reaches forward and trails his thumb along my lip, I sit holding my breath as he pulls away, "The same rules apply to you? If I catch you lying?"

Ander studies my eyes, his face dangerously grave, "I will not lie to you."

There are so many questions I want to ask him, and this will make him answer them, "Once a question has been asked it cannot be asked again?"

He laughs, "You should have been a lawyer my dear, yes, once a question has been asked it disappears. If a question is repeated or is too similar to a lost question then the asker must take two drinks. Satisfied?"

His eyes become dark with lust, I realize I am biting my lip and release it instantly, his reaction makes my stomach flip, "Okay, I will play the game."

It is dangerous, I shouldn't give him the power to ask me questions, I shouldn't take this amount of risk but I need my own answers. Ander smiles broadly before he settles against the bedpost, "I will allow you the first question my dear."

I study him, if I ask the burning questions first he will just be able to drink them away, but if I wait too long I might not get the chance, "Why did you really bring me here?"

Ander folds his hands in his lap, "My main goal was to entertain you, that much is true, but I also brought you to dissuade Amelia's advances. If I had known she would be so... Unpleasant, I would not have subjected you to this." Unsure of what to do I give a small nod before I glance down, it is strange to be seen as a threat to this woman, for Ander to feel comfortable enough to bring me... It is a thought that I refuse to entertain, "What caused you to begin your bond with Shadow?"

I catch his eyes, they are so intense it is as if they are looking into my soul, "After the second evening together you left as you had done the first time, I was under the impression I had done something terribly wrong. Or that you were disappointed... Gregor showed me the stables before and pointed out Shadow, I didn't want to sit in the room so I went outside and just talked to her. I brought her sugar a few times, she likes sugar better than apples, and it just went on each evening. Every day you didn't return I spent with her, easing her fear." I am not sure what more he could possibly want so I stop and study his eyes, "Why were you so upset with me the first and second evening?"

Ander drops his gaze, in a smooth motion he downs the glass of alcohol, he refills the glass in silence before settling back, "I intend to answer all of your questions Clara, although I will continue to drink when I do not wish to answer."

"That is breaking the rules."

He smiles softly, "You have not the slightest idea my dear." Before I can ask what he means he breaks into explanation, "Many women have attempted to seduce me, I am quite wealthy, my home is quaint compared to others but I assure you I have more investments than Amelia and much more capital in case those fail. Put simply, I am fabulously rich. Many have attempted to coerce me to lie with them, hoping to secure a marriage, or some other such arrangement. Until I met you I had not considered such a thing... Actually when I met you I was not thinking about my investments or the safety of my fortune..." Ander sighs heavily, "Clara, I wanted you so desperately in that first night I am not sure how I would have responded if you refused, you are so... Exquisite. When you were so willing I was frightened it was a ploy of some sort, I just couldn't be sure. I knew nothing about you, and I became certain someone as beautiful as you would not risk giving her virginity to me."

I stare at him, dumbfounded, and I know that I am completely lost to him, if this is all true then I will never be able to find enough flaws to shatter this fragile love. No, if I am not careful this will ruin me, I take a deep breath, "I can't play this game Ander, I can't do this."

I start to move away but he snatches my wrists and leans forward, pining me against the headboard, the glass balanced dangerously between us, "Please."

The word hangs between us, it echoes inside me and I feel something else from it, a wild desperation from within him. I am unsure of his goal but the urgency in his eyes makes me hesitate, "As you wish."

"Did you enjoy being restrained and forced to accept punishment?"

I gape at him, I try to move but his grip does not loosen, "Ander..."

He frowns, "Clara, either answer the question or drink. Those are the rules."

I glare at him, "This is cheating."

Ander smirks, "I haven't the slightest idea what you mean my dear. Now, did you enjoy it when I tied your wrists and ravaged your beautiful pussy?"

The blush causes my nipples to tighten painfully, my face becomes unbearably hot and I have to look away, "yes." I whisper so quietly I can barely hear it.

Ander leans forward, "I cannot hear you dear Clara." I turn to him, anger flooding me in an instant, before I can say something sharp his mouth claims mine. The frustration morphs to pleasure, I tug against his grip, I feel his smile on my lips as he digs into my tender flesh. His lips press harder against me, I groan and arch my body toward him, I want every inch of him to be touching me, Ander pulls away sharply, he settles away from me breathing harshly. I take a deep breath, if this keeps up I might lose all sense of virtue and tackle him, just the thought of being so bold makes my breath hitch, "What are you thinking Clara?"

I blink at him innocently, "Pardon me sir, but I do believe it is my turn." He smiles dangerously and I am not excited to meet his next question, "Ander... How..."

I can't force the words from my throat, I look away and bite my lip, I want the answers... I think I want the answers, "I will answer any question you ask me Clara."




Saving Clara Ch. 06



I glance up at him and study his face, the tender scars that trail his jaw down his neck, and wrap around to his back. For some reason this bothers me, does he deserve his scars? He is such a strange man, I cannot say he is entirely based in kindness, he has done foolish things I am sure but there is something so tender about him. I take a deep breath, "How many women have you done this with?"

He is silent for a long moment but I cannot look at him, I cannot let him see my expression if the answer is too extravagant, "How many women have I played this game with?"

I shake my head, "No. How many women have you..." I find that I am not entirely sure how to word it so I leave it in silence and hope he fills in the blanks.

"On the first night we met I bid you sleep in my bed, you were the first woman to lay upon my bed. You are my first lover Clara."

I narrow my eyes at him, "I must insist you elaborate how that is not a lie, I am aware you were married." Ander reaches for the glass and downs it in one motion before filling it and repeating the action. When he reaches for the glass again I place my hand on his, he looks at me with eyes full of endless pain and my heart squeezes, "You don't have to answer, I am sorry."

Ander's eyes flow over my face before he caresses my cheek, "It was a very long time ago my dear." He leans back, I settle against the headboard, "When I was sixteen my parents decided to match me with Ophelia Levingar, she was a perfect match for business and social purposes. I was always desperate to please my father, so I entered the marriage under the impression that a business marriage could still be pleasant. Ophelia insisted we have separate rooms, which I obliged, and we were only alone in a room if she decided we try to have a child. The first two years we had no relations whatsoever, we rarely even spoke, in truth I forgot she was my wife. Thrice we lay together, and I was forbade to see her body, and I was not upset by the fact. Ophelia was a very cold woman, very controlled and... Unpleasant. Not entirely unlike Amelia I suppose. She wouldn't even look at me..." Ander lapses into silence before he sighs, "After the third episode I was certain I would go mad if it must continue, but she was heavy with child, perhaps from the second coupling even. After that we never touched again; perhaps it is an unfair thing to say that you are the first to share my bed, but in truth you are my first lover."

I find it is difficult to breathe normally, I close my eyes and tilt my head back, "Oh." I take a deep breath, "I am sorry..."

"The relation was an entire mistake, but..." He chuckles, "How did you learn to dance?"

I stare at him for a long moment before I reach for the glass then I hesitate staring into the pale amber of it, drawn forward into eternity. I cannot force him from my past entirely, not when he is being so open, I close my eyes before I clutch the glass and resist the urge to escape, "When I was young there was a man that used to teach me many things, he taught me how to dance with the help of my mother. I was around twelve and the steps just came back to me." Ander studies me heavily but says nothing, "Why do you want to play this game Ander?"

His smile is gone, and I am met with that pensive mask I am accustomed, "You do not trust me."

I look away from him, for some reason I feel ashamed. I keep my gaze downcast, "I barely know you."

"That is the point my dear. Ever since you mentioned that, I decided to come up with a way to show you who I am, even the unpleasant bits. You are aware I am not perfect and I will tell you anything you think necessary to know."

I shake my head, "But why?"

"So I do not lose you." I look at him, his expression is dark, "There are moments when I see that fear in you. When I first brought you into this room, you were afraid of me, and I do not want your fear."

He looks lost, I want to touch him, to reassure him, but I am afraid of what that will mean, I take a deep breath, "It is your turn."

Ander's eyes don't find mine this time, "How old were you when your parents sold you?"

"That was a lie." He inhales sharply but remains silent, I take a deep breath before I continue, "My past is very complicated Ander."

He studies me for a long moment, "How did you become a servant, the most simplistic answer is perfectly fine."

I worry the edge of the shirt until I cannot bear it, the alcohol scorches my throat but the relief is greater than anything. Ander leans back as I set the glass between us, his face is set in that mask, and I am frustrated with myself.

I take a deep breath before I study his face, "What happened between you and Ophelia?"

Ander groans before he pours a hefty glass of alcohol and downs it in an unhealthy gulp, he grips the glass and studies it for a long time, "It was a combination of things that would have led to our separation, but before any of that could happen there was a fire in my house. It was during the period I had very few servants, our son was six at the time, my wife discovered the fire, her scream woke me and I rushed out to see what was wrong and saw the fire. The hall was engulfed in flame, my son's door was already surrounded by fire, I told my wife to get outside and call for help. She was overeager to leave our son behind, I used my bedding to beat away the worst of the flames from his door, thankfully he was under his bed crying. The fire had not gotten inside his room yet, I picked him up and ran out of the room, on the way out the frame of the door broke apart and it caught my shirt on fire. I was afraid to stop because I wanted my son out of the house so I just kept running. I still remember the smell of my own skin burning..." Ander takes a deep breath, "Upon exiting the house I found my wife watching the house burn, she had not called for help while her son and husband were burning in the house. I attributed it to fear but after I had another house built and we settled in she told me she couldn't be with me anymore. She was upset by my scars, she said the other women judged her, felt pity for her... So I gave her the divorce she wanted so desperately, she demanded our son, and soon after he died from the smoke that got into his lungs."

"I shouldn't have asked." He shrugs with a dim smile, "What is your next question?"

Ander threads his fingers together, "May I ask what happened to your leg?"

I fidget with the hem of the shirt as I mull over the decision, "When I was almost thirteen my mother poured a pot of boiling water on me." He gapes at me in silence but I can't force myself to elaborate, "Why did you give me a glass necklace?"

Ander narrows his eyes, "What?"

I force my gaze to remain on his, "Amelia told me it was as worthless as me, basically, and explained that it was glass."

He shakes his head, "Clara, I know for a fact that necklace is not glass."

I look away, "Oh..."

His touch makes me jump, his hand is splayed across my thigh and I am reminded of his largeness, "Look at me." I obey and find those stormy eyes inches away from mine, "Do you believe yourself worth so little?"

I start to move but he snatches up my hands and cradles them between his own, "Why play this game if you intend to cheat whenever you please?" He studies me before he releases my hands and leans back, I glower at the glass, "I am a servant Ander, effectively I am your slave, even if you treat me as if I am not I will never be anything else. I am not a woman worthy of your attentions, I am a moment of your life and nothing more."

Ander sighs heavily, "Have you been listening to anything I have said Clara?"

He sounds frustrated but it means little to me at this point, I study his face for a long moment before I make my decision, "I was thirteen when I became a servant, my first master was very kind, he taught me many things and his wife encouraged his attentions with me. One day he asked me a question, I cannot even remember what it was but I had a choice. I could answer him honestly or I could tell the lie he would probably prefer, I was so comfortable with him I told him the truth. His ever smiling face became this angry mask, it was as if he became a different person, so he dragged me outside and ripped the front of my dress, effectively baring me to anyone who might pass by. He tied me to the whipping post and he whipped me so viciously I begged God for death. I screamed so much my throat grew raw, and toward the end the pain was so unbearable I couldn't even see anymore."

I take a deep breath before pushing forward, "I could smell my own blood, at one point he stopped whipping me and touched my tattered flesh, he only stopped because his wife came out. And she said to him 'dear! I am trying to entertain and her screaming is interrupting tea time.' So he stopped and called the doctor. When the doctor arrived he assured my master I would die, but he dressed my wounds regardless and after a time my master returned to his kind self... I trusted him, and he made me trust him, he told me once that it was fascinating to see my trust become fear." Ander is staring at me, his jaw clenched tight, as I continue, "That was the last day I cried, the last day I smiled, and the last day I trusted anyone."

He holds my gaze, "You will never trust me."

It is not a question, it feels like an ending, it frightens me to think of losing him because of my fear, "I have told you more than I have told anyone, I have lost all logic to you, and I am afraid of you because I..." I barely manage to stop the admission, "I want to trust you."

Ander sighs, "Is there anything else you wish to ask my dear?"

I take a moment before I shrug, "Lady Amelia seems convinced you will marry her."

He laughs and it brightens my mood, "Yes, she is quite deluded on that fact. Perhaps her business relations are not worth the trouble, I had hoped she would be discouraged with your presence. Initially she was worried I preferred the company of men..." I stare at him with wide eyes and he laughs, "In her defense I was quite chaste before I met you, several years of seclusion and defending against trollops, many believe I am of that proclivity."

"Well..." I shake my head, "Do you have more questions my Lord?"

He glares at me and I blush but don't correct myself, "I will break that habit of yours even if I have to keep you tied up all day long." He crawls toward me and I roll from the bed, adrenaline pulsing to life. Ander wraps his arm around my waist, dragging me back and in a motion he has me pinned beneath him, "As much as I would love to chase you, I prefer no one see me fucking you in the hall."

I stare up at him, breathing hard with anticipation, "Oh." My mind clears slightly and I frown up at him, "Lady Amelia became angry with me because I forgot to use your title, it is entirely too complicated to switch my Lord."

I am not sure why but I enjoy making him glower at me, he drags my wrists above my head and ties them, ignoring my struggles completely, "Then I will make it apparent you are free to call me whatever you please."

I stare up at him blushing wildly, "That is entirely improper."

Ander grins wickedly as he slides down my body until he is straddling my knees, he trails his fingers along the inner edge of my thighs and I bite back a moan, "Are you one for propriety my dear?"

"Oh yes, very much so. But a brute has taken advantage of me."

He grins wickedly, his hands caress up across my bare legs until he reaches the hem of the shirt, "Taken advantage of, you say?" I bite my lip and his eyes darken, his hands cause lightning to race up my spine, tendrils of pleasure sparking through me. Ander slides the shirt up over my aching need, his hand cups my mound and he teases a finger across my soaking slit and I groan, "What a cruel man, perhaps he should stop?"

It takes all my resolve to meet his eyes, "Perhaps he should."

Ander smirks, he buries a finger in my pussy and I arch against him with a moan, "Never." I struggle against the bond viciously, he laughs softly before thrusting his finger into me, eliciting another moan from me. He buries his face between my legs and licks my clit, heat spirals through my belly and I cry out. He alternates between licking and sucking on my clit while his finger pumps into my soaking cunt, and I am rising to that peak I know all too well. Suddenly he pulls away from me and I whine at the loss, I glower at him and he cocks his head, "Have I done something to displease you?"

I study him as the heat clears from my mind, my pussy is aching but I force it from my mind, "Does it upset you so when I call you my Lord?"

Ander slides his hands up the shirt pushing it over the swell of my breasts, his eyes roam over me hungrily before he catches my eyes again, "How do you think of me?"

"I..." He buries his finger in my pussy and I scream, my climax hits hard and fast, I arch against him as the world crashes around me, everything fades to blackness until all that exists is the ecstasy. I float down slowly, my body slick with sweat, Ander is staring down at me his eyes scanning my face.

"To me you are a woman, you are my dearest Clara, and when you call me Lord or Master it reminds me that you do not think of me in the same way. It is selfish of me to insist..."

I stare up at him, the vulnerabilities he is revealing pull at my heart, "It is not like that."

Ander leans forward, trailing kisses across my brow, "Oh?"

I close my eyes and try to focus on my thoughts, "I can't think like this."

His mouth is on my breast, I groan as he caresses my stomach teasing along the edge of my breast before he pulls at my nipple, I groan and arch against him, "Good." I hear something in his voice, something I am accustomed to hearing in other people, something I have heard in my own voice but never in his. Fear.

The thought is ripped away when he struggles out of his pants and reveals that throbbing cock, my mouth waters at the sight. I am met with his stormy eyes as he presses his cock against me, everything moves slowly as he kisses me, his mouth tenderly pressing mine. I can barely breathe as each agonizing inch is fed into my pussy, I return his kiss trailing my tongue along his lips. He smiles against me as he buries his cock to the hilt, and for a moment he doesn't move, his kiss remains tender and his hand is buried in my hair. I whimper as he pulls from me, he grips my hair as his kiss becomes more desperate. Ander groans before he thrusts against me, tearing a moan from me, "I love hearing you moan for me."

A blush races across my chest, I pull at the tie but the bond has not loosened, "Please."

Ander pulls completely from me, "What my dear?"

"Ander please, please." His eyes are dark with desire, I wrap my legs around his waist, "You will have to untie me at some point."

He smiles softly which frustrates me, I bite my lip and roll against him, his smile slips away. Ander slams into me, his cock fills me so completely, I have never felt so whole, I am forced from thought as he pounds into me, "Drop your legs." Obedience seems natural, as soon as he is free he thrusts into me as I am accustomed, hard, fast, on the verge of violence.

I scream when my climax overtakes me, a flood of heat rolls through me, sparking from my belly, I arch against him and lose the ability to breathe. His eyes are holding mine when I crash back to reality, he slams his cock within me and I feel his cum coat my pussy. His groan is almost a growl, he collapses on me, our chests rise desperately in the heat of the room, our slick bodies clinging together. I am overwhelmed by his heat, I close my eyes and commit this moment to memory, no matter what happens I will never forget this moment. I breathe deep his scent and I never want it to end, I never want to wake up.

Ander peels away from me enough to study my eyes, a combination of our sweat covers my body, I am sure there is a puddle beneath me, but it doesn't matter in this moment. Nothing matters. I stare up at him and study those eyes, the eyes that so entranced me the moment I met him, and the way they are so open to me now, "Can you untie me now?"

Ander studies me before he grins, "I am capable of giving you more my dear."

A blush races across my skin, "If you make me scream much more the servants will think I am being murdered."

He seems to contemplate the idea before shrugging, his face serious, "I could stuff that pretty mouth."

I gape at him, "Wh-wh-what?"

Ander laughs, "Perhaps another time." He unties me, he rubs the life back into my wrists, I hadn't even realized they had begun to chill, he studies my skin before sighing, "Was that enjoyable for you my dear?"

I laugh, surprising us both, I stare up at him and his expression is worth the slip in my mask. He strokes my cheek before leaning forward and kissing me, his mouth so gentle I know he will discover every one of my secrets, I will tell him everything if this continues. But will he understand? Will he forgive me? As he kisses me I pray, as fervently as I have ever prayed that he will be the one to save me.



Saving Clara Ch. 07



Hello dear readers. I know it was a long wait, not as long as some you have endured from me but I feel bad for leaving you out in the cold for so long. I have so many ideas jumping through my head that some of them turn out to be nonsense.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy what I have managed to cobble together for you, your comments mean the world to me, honestly I take them all to heart and I try to fix my mistakes. Speaking of which, there was a comment on one of the chapters which brought up the dancing between Clara and Ander.

I did make a mistake when it came to Clara's crippled leg, as I read through my chapters it sort of fell through and I lost track of it completely when they were dancing which is a tremendous mistake on my end. I am sorry and thank you to the anon that pointed it out. I will address the mistake in the next chapter, and try to rectify it accordingly.

Anyway, I bestow upon you the latest installment of the story. I really am not sure how many chapters are left, the end is really close but with all the dialogue it might make it past ten. Please feel free to comment and as always, happy reading. -WH

*****

The realization that I will tell Ander everything scares me, I want the suffocating lies to finally be gone, for better or worse; but what if it is for worse? What if Ander becomes angry with me again? It truly hasn't been that long since his anger ruled our relationship, this change is completely different... I close my eyes and focus on his fingers slowly tracing the scars on my back sending a stream of tingles down my spine, if I could live in this moment life would be simpler. Why can't life be this easy? The steady motion sends me into a state of warm hypnosis, sleep wraps its arms around me and I begin to embrace it. The day has been long and full of revelations, I need this reprieve.

"Clara?" Ander's voice is very soft, as if he is frightened he will wake me, I am tempted to leave the embrace of sleep to join him but I am too far gone to claw back to the surface. I feel him move then I feel something warm on my back, his hands and something else, it takes a moment to realize he is kissing my scars. I am teetering on the edge of the abyss but I don't want to leave yet, I love the feeling of his lips on my skin, the idea that he can heal my scars with his touch. Reality narrows until it is just us, just his warmth raining down upon my back, leaving a river of electricity in its wake. I begin to fall away from the world, "Could you ever love me?"

The words pierce me but it's too late to escape, sleep crashes over me, flinging me into an unimaginable depth of darkness. For what seems an eternity I tumble through the suffocating blanket, fighting to escape, except the door to reality is lost to me so I have no choice but to allow the wave to carry me into the endless void. Thoughts evade me in this place, instead becoming fleeting images, tendrils of passing emotions. Everything is darkness and light, black and colorful, limitless contradictions; it is all the same, all a part of something larger. I feel warmth surround me and I cry out as it wraps tight, constricting until I cannot breathe, the strange world fades until there is nothing.

There isn't any light, but I can make out a form that is complete blackness against the darkness surrounding me. I blink a few times and try to move but my body is paralyzed, I can't even make a sound, I can only watch as the figure moves toward me. But it doesn't move like a human, it flows toward me, like liquid. The form leans over me, my body completely bared to it, and I can barely breathe as it caresses my thighs. Its hands are hot on my bare skin, it parts my thighs and makes a soft sound deep in its shadowy throat, it speaks words that are little more than alien sounds to me. I want to shove it away, but I can't make my body move, two orbs of gray light rest in its face, carving a path across my body.

It leans over me, and the heat of the creature swells against me, coating me in a blanket of warmth, something wet envelopes my nipple and I cry out, my voice awakening from its slumber. I still can't move but I am breathing hard as the shadow sucks at my flesh until my nipple hardens into a nub of sensitive heat, its hand caresses up my thigh until it rests against the tender ember of heat. It presses against me and I feel the invasion of its fingers within me, I whimper at the assault. The creature looks down at me, dark eyes pinning me in place, something about those eyes, those...

It speaks more alien words before placing its face against mine, and I feel its warm mouth on my ear lobe, nipping at the skin, I feel like I will suffocate under its heat, my body is full of electric need as the fingers move within me, stoking that traitorous little fire. A familiar wave rises within me, aching to be free, to feel that release. The shadow pulls away from me, those eyes hold me as the hand moves against me, I feel the invasion become thicker, then it brushes that tender nub that feeds directly to my fire. I whimper, but the creature does not release me, the sound seems to spur it on, it thrusts its shadowy fingers into me, hard and fast, curling its hand within me until it brushes something that feels like heaven.

A cry is torn from me, it repeats the motion and the feeling combined with the soft flick against my clit is enough to push me dangerously close to the peak. A scream is ripped from my throat and I buck against it, uncaring of what it is, completely lost in the flood of heat tearing through me. All thought shatters to be replaced with this wild ecstasy, I grip the hand between my legs, trapped upon the crest of this wave of pleasure. The dark figure speaks soft words that escape my understanding, my body feels too hot, as if I will burn alive if it doesn't stop, I try to push the creature away.

Its broad chest is hard against my hands, bearing down upon me, and I am not strong enough to resist it. Its hands caress my waist, moving steadily over my flesh leaving a trail of electricity until it reaches my breasts, its fingers tease my over-sensitive nipples and I can't help the moan that escapes my throat, the creature makes a soft sound that resembles pleasure as it manipulates my breasts. Squeezing and pinching the tender flesh, I cry out when it lowers its mouth to one, suckling the nipple into its hot mouth, a rough tongue covers it before nipping at the flesh. I cry out and want to escape this torture but the creature takes my sound as encouragement. It alternates between lapping at my skin and roughly biting me, I groan when it moves to my other breast and repeats the action.

The area around the creature begins to glow, the feeling against my skin becomes electrified, the room explodes with color mimicking the feelings inside me. Its fingers curl within me causing the room explode with starlight, I whimper as it strokes me so tenderly I can find no resistance against it. My whole body is coiled tight in anticipation as his fingers continue to stroke me, the rough texture of its fingers is enough to make me pant, its teeth find my nipple and it strokes that heavenly place. The world around us explodes into a swirl of colors, I whimper against the sudden swell in my womb but there is no resisting its insistent press against me.

My climax is too much, I explode upward, I see the shadow above my prone body, the moment my eyes lock on my form I lose focus. The image blurs until I am lost in a dark whirlpool of different images, that same shadow is always beside me, a dark arm encircling my waist, standing before me as I sit in front of it, hovering over me as I lay completely prone, behind me with arms wrapped tight around me, kissing me, and then an image flickers before me of it whispering sweet unknown words to me. My heart swells with emotions I can't describe, I turn away from the image only to be met with another, it is holding me, cradling me in its arms pressing me tight against its broad chest.

Each time I turn away a new image replaces the last until I am spinning through them dangerously, I feel sick as the emotions reach a crescendo within me, I slam to my knees and cover my face. I feel a presence before me, I look up slowly to find the dark figure kneeling in front of me, it reaches forward and caresses my cheek, I want to pull away but there is something about it that stops me. Every image was this creature comforting me, pleasuring me, I tremble at the thought, the creature's gray eyes study my face before it leans forward and kisses me. I melt into it, the creature's lips curve against mine and I reach for it, wrapping my arms tight around it. I'm afraid it will disappear again, I pull away from it and look up into those soft gray eyes bright with emotion. The shadow takes a more familiar shape, the darkness falls from it in thick sheets until it is just Ander. Tension flows from my womb, I stare up at him and I smile, he wraps me in his arms and the universe swallows us.



There is warmth surrounding me, everywhere except my face feels too warm, I open my eyes but the sight before me makes no sense, I'm surrounded by water, I struggle to get away from it but something holds me down, I take a deep breath to scream when a strong hand covers my mouth. Fear pierces through me, "Clara." I freeze at the familiar voice, I tilt my head until I can see him, he watches me as my eyes focus on him, "Are you going to scream?"

I glare at him but shake my head, he smirks and pulls his hand away, I feel something pressing insistently against my ass and it takes me a minute to realize it is his cock. I try to move away but he holds me firmly against his body, I look away from him blushing wildly. Now it makes sense, we are in the bath together. The dream is still clinging to me like a cobweb, I wonder if any part of that was real. Even with his arms wrapped tight around my waist, essentially trapping me, I feel safe pressed against his firm chest. I let out a deep breath then rest my head on his chest, pressing my ear to his damp flesh so I can hear his heartbeat.

Being so near to him makes me feel as if I will burst at any moment, I can only imagine he is feeling something similar if his throbbing cock is any indication. I rest my hands on his thighs and his heart beats faster. I glance up at him to find him with heavy-lidded eyes, I pull my hands away a blush racing across my skin, "Why are we in the bath?"

Ander smiles down at me, "You needed a bath, I made quite a mess of you my dear, and I did not wish to wake you."

I narrow my eyes, "That is highly irregular."

If possible, his smile grows wider and I study the shape of his mouth, I like it better when he smiles, "I was merely trying to help a beautiful woman in need."

I roll my eyes and wiggle my hips, he groans and thrusts against me, "Taking advantage of a woman more like." Ander's smile is gone, to be replaced with that heated stare, his eyes glow with lust, I try to raise my arms but he pins them to my waist with one strong arm, I let out a whimper as he explores my body with his free hand, first cupping my breast in his palm then running the pad of his thumb across my nipple. I gasp at how tender it is, he watches my face as he strokes my sensitive flesh, "So responsive today."

I stare up at him in disbelief, "Did you..." I can't even finish the sentence as he twists my nipple gently between his fingers and I cry out, his arm anchors me firmly to his body preventing even a thought of escape.

"You are very responsive, even in sleep dear Clara." He still watches me as his hand trails down my body, I clench my thighs together unwilling to allow him the satisfaction, "What did you dream of when I touched you?"

There is a heated edge to his voice, I look away and press my lips together, "Ander..."

His mouth finds my earlobe, his tongue darts against the curve of it and I roll against him, heat flowers between my legs, "Are you upset I touched you while you slept?" His hand is teasing against my clenched thighs, but he makes no move to force my legs apart, I lose my focus when he bites my neck. In a motion his legs have pinned mine so that my body is completely spread before him, I cry out and struggle against him but it is like a child struggling against a giant. He has complete advantage over me, and the realization makes my fire burn ever brighter. His mouth rests against my ear, his breath sending shivers down my spine, "Answer me dear Clara, unless you do not wish to cum in a reasonable amount of time. I could torture you to get the information I desire."

I tremble against him, his hand moves lower, until he is cupping me, gently holding the pulse of my fire in his hand, his fingers tease at the slick folds. I whimper and dig my nails into his thighs, he drops his head onto my shoulder and groans, "It is inappropriate to threaten a lover."

He nips at my shoulder, a shiver rolls through my body, "I am not a very appropriate lover." His voice is thick with desire, I drop my head against his shoulder and revel in the madness, "Last chance to answer the question my dear."

I think back to the last time he tortured me and the memory makes me shiver, "If I am upset then what?" I look up at him, desperately trying to ignore his fingers petting my slit, he grips me tighter his expression dark with an emotion I can't place.

"Then I shall immediately stop and beg for your forgiveness." His tone is firm, his fingers have moved from my heat and rest innocently upon my thigh.

"You would beg for me?" I mean it as a joke, my tone is light with humor but his expression remains deadly serious.

"I would do anything to please you." My heart pulses so hard that my head swims, I stare into his motionless gray eyes and my stomach twists. I can feel the tension in his body, as if he is waiting for a strike, and it takes me a moment to realize he thinks I will break his heart...

"Let me go." I manage to keep my tone firm, his eyes drop and he uncoils his body from mine, I move and I can feel his body deflate. My heart squeezes hard in my chest, aching with the love I can't bear to admit, I stand and face him then watch his gaze as I plop down in his lap. His looks at me with that stoic expression, I study his face before I reach up and cradle it in my hands. The stubble on his cheeks stabs my palms, I focus on his eyes as I drag my fingers through his dark hair, I trace the curve of his ears then my right hand brushes along the faint ripple of scar tissue. He shivers beneath my touch but doesn't move to stop me, I drop my gaze from his and focus on the flesh beneath my hands, I gently follow the trail of his throat across his shoulders to his thick arms, blanketed in thicker scars. I imagine the fire that carved his flesh and I tremble, "Do your scars embarrass you?"

Ander is silent long enough to draw my gaze to him, "After the fire I nearly died, the burns were so severe the doctor was certain I would be dead in a day. I believe I would have but I convinced myself that my wife and son required me, I realized my friends would be devastated if I died. So, every day of my recovery I fought for them, it was agony but I never gave up on the people closest to me." He takes a deep breath as I trace the lines of his scars, "The only two people that treated me the same were Gregor and William, everyone else left, my parents tried to be there for me but they just offered solutions to a problem that had none."

I study his face before I drop my gaze, "May I have a straight answer?"

He chuckles, "I have no room in my mind for such trivial matters when I am devising ways to please my dearest Clara."

I look up at him before I shake my head, "Ander, you shouldn't..." Before I can get the words out he seals my lips with his own, I sigh when he grips my waist pulling me tight against him. His cock pulses to life, beating against my slit insistently, I bury my fingers in his hair drawing him as tightly against me as possible. As soon as I part my lips his tongue invades, heat flares across my skin as I meet his thrust with my own. His hands stroke across my burning skin, tingles of excitement follow his palms, I wrap my arms around his neck crushing my body against his own, I can barely tell where my body ends and his begins.

His lips are tender one instant before becoming ravenous then returning to gentle passes, I roll against him, I rise as high as I can with his grip on my waist, as soon as his cock moves up I slide my body down angling myself so that the head of his cock pierces my slit then I hesitate. He draws away from me and stares into my eyes, and for a moment the wild heat pulsing through my blood slows and I can see our future so clearly, "Ander, I..."

In one motion he lifts me and guides his cock to my slit, I groan as he lowers me onto him so slowly I can feel every inch of him stretching me. Ander grips my thighs just below my ass, I clutch his biceps and revel in the feel of his muscles rolling beneath my fingers, I whimper as he lifts me fully from him then drops me onto his lap. I yank back and arch against him, I toss my head and cry out as he repeats the action. I place my hands on his shoulders and grind myself on his cock, his eyes roll back and I feel his cock twitch within me.

In that instant I feel tremendously powerful, I watch his face as I repeat the motion, his jaw clenches tight and he sucks air through his teeth. Ander catches my gaze with scorching gray eyes, he leans forward and catches my lower lip in his teeth, I whimper as he slides his tongue along the sensitive skin. He buries his cock within me at a steady pace, I relish the way he fills me so completely, Ander suddenly pulls from my eager lips, "Touch your clit." I stare at him, completely lost for words, he narrows his eyes at me and growls, "Clara."

The sound of my name as he thrusts deep within my womb snaps me to attention, I blush wildly but drop my right hand under the water and tentatively rub the slick button that will ultimately set me off. I arch my back and as I lean into him my nipples rub against his chest, the rough hair causing me to gasp. Ander thrusts against me as he drops me onto his cock, essentially slamming into me, I grit my teeth as the wave threatens me, roaring toward me so quickly I have to slow my fingers to stave it off. I lean forward and kiss him hard, Ander slams into me hard and I feel his seed begin to pulse into my womb, my fingers twitch and my own climax forces me back I snap my head back and scream his name.

I drop my head onto his shoulder panting, basking in the afterglow of a moment I doubt I could ever share with another person, I close my eyes and tighten my grip around his neck. I almost told him... I still want to, but the moment of weakness has passed, I love the way the world feels when we are together, yet it isn't always like this... I remember we are in Amelia's home and a shiver races across my skin, just the thought of everything she has said to me, I can only imagine what sort of plot she has managed for today, "Clara?"

I don't want to pull away from him yet so I remain glued to his chest, "Hmm."

His grip tightens around my waist and I imagine he is deliberating on whether or not to tell me he loves me, the thought seems ridiculous but then I remember: Could you ever love me? The world seems to halt, I don't know how I could have forgotten such fateful words, I yank away from him and stare into his wide gray eyes, "What troubles you Clara?" I stare into those eyes, if this shatters they will haunt my dreams, I realize I have been staring at him for far too long and I look away with a blush crawling across my cheeks, "Is it natural for a woman to blush when a man is within her?"

Ander's voice is tender with playfulness and I blush even hotter as I feel the softening cock still tightly embedded within me, "I am afraid I would not know my Lord."




Saving Clara Ch. 07



He grumbles and frowns drawing a soft smile across my lips, "Do you enjoy torturing me so?"

I sigh dramatically, waving my hands for effect, "How else am I meant to entertain myself with a man that cares only to torment me?"

His eyes warm and heat pools in my stomach at the sight of his most tender smile yet, "You seem to enjoy it and so I continue."

I lean forward and kiss him, his arms tighten across my spine until I am nearly crushed against him. His cock twitches within me, I groan and he pulls away breathing huskily, "As much as I would love to remain in the bath throughout the day I believe we should save energy to survive a day among the wolves." I stick out my bottom lip and widen my eyes causing him to laugh, the vibration of his chest beneath me sends delicious tremors skittering through my stomach, "As tempting as that sweet mouth is I believe I shall resist yet another day my dear."

With a huff I stand up, the loss of his cock leaves my pussy feeling utterly bare and lost, I try to ignore the feeling as I step out of the bath. I don't look at him as he stands behind me, I keep my gaze focused on the floor, trying to get a grip on my emotions, it is going to be a long day and I won't have time to pull myself together later. A thought pulses through my mind and I turn to him, the sight of his naked body steals my breath, no matter how many times I see him I think I will always be mesmerized. His smirk draws me back to reality and a blush envelopes me, I drop my gaze, "Why do you say my mouth is tempting?"

There is a long moment of silence, Ander climbs out of the tub and begins drying me, after an eternity he takes a deep breath, "There are some women who please their men with their mouths as I have done to you." I can't even imagine taking his manhood into my mouth, just the thought of it makes my mouth water but I can't begin to think where it would go, before I can wrap my head around it he speaks up, "If it frightens you so, I will not mention again."

I look down at him as he drags the towel down the side of my leg, I touch his shoulder and when he finally looks up at me I cock my head to the side, "How is it that you are such an efficient lover when you have no real experience?"

He narrows his eyes, "I might ask the same of you my Lady."

The title catches me off guard and I look away, for fear he will see my desperate desire to believe it could ever happen, "Do not call me that." My tone is so cold it surprises me, I wrap my arms around my chest and back away from him.

Ander rises slowly, his eyes so heavy on me I can feel them without even looking, "Apologies Clara." He steps toward me and my skin prickles as his hands rest upon my shoulders, I lean into him and he wraps his arms around me, "Congratulations, you are wet once more."

I giggle into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist, and for a second I am surprised at how rough the scars are on his back, without a thought I stroke the skin and he shivers but remains silent, "Do you want me to stop?"

He buries his face in my hair before sighing deeply, "Only for now my dear."

Reluctantly he releases me and I back away from him dropping my hands to my sides, his eyes burn across my skin and fire pulses through my blood. Ander turns away and walks through the door motioning for me to follow, I creep forward and peer through the door to find a small bedroom, different from the one we were in last night. He is holding up a glorious dark sapphire dress, it is cut in nearly the same fashion as the red one, the sleeves are short with a white fabric that will extend to my wrist, the bust is covered in a matching V cut of the same white fabric decorated with lush black designs, the waist is cut close but below that the dress is split into several tiers cut so perfectly it makes me think of a waterfall. I look up at Ander and find him studying my face, I try not to think why the dress disgusts me, "It is beautiful." Ander smiles tenderly, he drapes the dress back upon the bed before lifting my undergarments, I step forward and focus on getting my thoughts together. Another day fighting to keep my composure, fighting for the favor of people I couldn't care less about just to maintain Ander's image, one moment he tells me to behave and the next he says he will demand I be allowed to call him by his name. Night and day... I grit my teeth when he begins tightening the girdle, "You are not drawing it tightly enough."

A moment of silence before he pulls it tighter ever so slightly before tying it off, "I will not torment you for no reason, you shall breathe with it on or do away with it entirely." The very idea of going without a girdle causes me to blush wildly, he helps me slide into the dress then ties it securely against my waist, I turn to face him slowly looking up into his face from under my lashes, "If I had not just dressed you I would strip you bare right this moment."

I can barely breathe at the thought, "Oh." Ander grumbles before yanking on his clothes, I watch as he pulls on his trousers, effectively cradling the curve of his legs and barely hiding the bulge at his crotch, his shirt is a deep shade of blue and I smile imagining him gathering dresses that match his outfits, the idea of him sauntering into a store and comparing fabrics sends me into a fit of laughter. He studies me as he pulls on his doublet, buttoning it until the blue shirt is just barely visible at the top of his chest, the black of his shirt and pants forces attention to his shirt.

I am still trapped with the image of him perusing dresses and I feel as if I will burst, tears come to my eyes and he frowns at me, "Is my outfit so ridiculous?"

I open my mouth to tell him but break out into a fit of giggles instead, Ander glowers at me before grabbing my shoulders and backing me into the wall. The laughter dies when he presses against me, effectively shoving his erection into my thigh, I study his burning eyes and smile recklessly, "I was imagining you buying these dresses to match your wardrobe."

Ander smirks, "I bought my clothes at the same time to be sure."

The laughter turns to ash within me, "Why would you do that?"

An electrified emotion passes between us, and I can feel something building in the air... A knock on the door shatters the fragile moment, Ander studies me before he leans forward and steals a kiss then strides to the door. I take a shuddering breath before I move away from the wall, I look to the bed to find the red necklace lying there, somehow it is still in one piece and I wonder at how he managed it from last night. A pair of beautiful blue shoes are at the foot of the bed, I slip them on and turn to face Ander to find his eyes locked on me, the door is still open and Jess is standing there looking as awkward as she was yesterday and I am certain Amelia caused it.

"Lady Amelia has requested the presence of her guests, breakfast is to be served soon my Lord. She has insisted that I escort you both." Jess' voice is barely a whisper and I feel anger well up within me at the idea of Amelia threatening the poor girl.

I grab the necklace and step up to Ander, I hand it to him causing his lips to twitch up into a smile, I turn my back and barely resist shivering when he secures it around my throat. As soon as he pulls away from me I step out of the room, ready to be picked apart by the vultures. When we reach the dining room I take a deep breath, when Jess starts to move away I blurt out, "Thank you Jess."

She turns and stares at me for a long moment before she drops her gaze, "I merely did as I was instructed miss Clara." She scurries away before I can respond, Ander places his hand on my lower back and I look up at him, he smiles at me before pushing into the room.



Saving Clara Ch. 08



Dearest readers, I apologize for my absence, I realize I say that to you far too much but this story will be finished one way or another. I know it has been some time and this is little for that amount of waiting, my intention is to remain steadfast and continue to write, hopefully I will have the next chapter by Monday of next week, at the latest it will be Friday. I appreciate the readers that are still harassing me about the story, it means I did well enough to be remembered.

For the dedicated reader this bit doesn't have any sex in it, and for that I suppose I should apologize, but it does touch on Clara's internal struggle and the emotions have been amped up for this particular bit. There will be action in the next one, though it may not go in the direction you might think ;)

I am excited to tell you this tale will come to an end and then I hope to continue Snow White's journey, though I intend to make some changes to that one before I get too far along as I did with this. The story of Clara is as much a journey of learning as it is a hobby so please give me your feedback.

As always, happy reading - WH

*

The room is abuzz with conversation, a smaller crowd than yesterday but still large enough to give me pause, if it weren't for Ander's hand on my back I wouldn't be able to move. I catch Amelia's gaze and it takes all my resolve to keep the emotions from painting my face, by the steely resolve forming in my gut I manage to drag my gaze from hers. I see a smile curve her lips, perhaps she believes Ander punished me for my behavior... I cut off the thoughts before they can take hold, I won't obsess over her, I do not have the time to worry what she thinks nor will I waste the space in my mind on such useless chatter.

To my extreme relief, the only available chairs are far from Amelia, I end up seated next to a blond woman in an exquisite green dress, her hair is arranged so intricately I can't imagine how early she must have woken up to have it done. Conversation flows gently through the room, everyone tosses in compliments about Amelia's home, strategically playing the game to earn her favor. I glance at her to find her laughing with the men seated near her, the men are watching her closely, perhaps hoping to earn her approval or maybe they are even trying to woo her. She is wearing a gold dress today, the cut is a bit less revealing with long sleeves but any dress would look elegant on her, just like the woman beside me her hair is done so perfectly I wonder what they must think of my untamed black mess of hair.

Her dark eyes flash up to mine, the world freezes, her smile is still plastered across her face but her eyes brighten when she sees me. There is a certain quality to her gaze, as if she is pleased to see me, but that can't be right, there has to be some other explanation for that expression being directed at me; something about it sends a chill down my spine. Amelia breaks the moment when the man beside her says something that makes her burst into laughter, I drop my gaze to the plate before me and try to still my overactive nerves, I want more than anything to leave this nightmare behind. I glance up at Ander, he is chatting with the woman next to him, his tone low and formal, I wonder deep down if I should bother continuing this, will this relationship be worth all the biting comments, the secretive backstabbing, the drama that accompanies mingling with the upper class?

This day will not be the last I am subjected to their scrutiny, there will always be others, and perhaps he will take me to more parties, perhaps he will dangle me upon his arm as his well-behaved little treat... I tremble at the very idea of it. I look away from him and try to keep the desperation from coloring my features, it is far too late to leave this particular situation but if I am honest with myself there is only pain ahead of me. Whether he loves me forever or I end up being a fling, this will always cause me pain, the sideways glances, the stinging comments, and no matter the situation I will be obligated to be presentable. Doubts flood my mind so fully I barely notice the food being placed on the table, I can't even focus on the plate in front of me, let alone the strangers surrounding me.

A few answered questions doesn't tell me who Ander is, a few weeks ago I hadn't even known him and now? A touch at my shoulder causes me to jump, I look up to find Ander staring down at me, his expression dark with concern, "Clara are you not hungry?"

I drop my eyes and dig into the food before me, it is flavorless on my tongue, flowing down my throat into the twisting mass of my gut. A dark fear has eaten its way inside of me, but what must I do to escape such thoughts? Why must my life continue to erupt into insanity? I hate eating the food from this house, basically eating from the hand of my enemy, my gaze cuts to Amelia her lips spread in that awful smile. It may as well be carved upon her perfect face... I look away before someone notices, no, I cannot give them any reason to pay me any mind, they are content to watch me pretend to be important, but if they believe I think of myself as such I will be broken down. I take a deep breath and focus on making it through the meal.

Conversations continue all around me, very few words are spared on me, and it is a deep relief to have the time to try to compose myself but I would need an eternity to carve through the emotions trying to overwhelm me, if anything the time is merely used to stow away the confusion, to pretend. I am so tired of pretending...

Smiles in the right places, timid laughter twinkling through the proper sentences, body language perfected to please the audience keeps the meal running smoothly. Amelia seems to be disinterested in me, as if I am not worth her time, or perhaps... I sneak a sideways glance at Ander and wonder if he spoke with her, if he decided to threaten her, to reprimand her... The thought sends a thrill up my spine but somehow I wonder if it is worth it for him to speak for me, if it matters that he confronted her. If he did, it means she will just wait for the right moment, she will lurk and smile and laugh until I am alone and then she will tear me to shreds. The thrill turns to ice slamming squarely in the pit of my stomach, I drop my eyes to my empty plate; I cannot change the situation so I push away the thoughts and let the conversation roll over me, sweeping me up into the swell of life as if everything is utterly normal.

Once everyone has finished eating Ander stands and, being unsure what to do, I follow his lead, "Ander, my dear, I must insist we settle our business relations soon so that you may further enjoy what I have to offer." I swallow the hardened edge of anger at the sound of her voice, I am not sure what it is Ander intends to do with this woman, what could he possibly see in her? She threw a violin at me, the thought stops me cold, and I glance up at him as he gives her a tight smile. What if he is going to marry her, what if this is just a game, all a twisted game to get me to trust him, who has told me he is a good person? Gregor mentioned it in passing, once, and he is just another servant, and he enlisted William to attempt to violate me...

Ice claws through my veins, he turns to me and I flinch, "There is a garden out back, I will meet you there soon." I nod while the numbness threatens to overtake me, I am careful to bow to Amelia before I depart, if this is a trap there is no need to deepen the pain I will feel later. I can feel Ander's gaze on me as I slip out of the room but I cannot bear to look at him, I am drowning in my own emotions at the moment and there is no way for me to pretend, something feels very wrong. How very sick would it be if this turns out to be a ploy? I can barely breathe, everything could be a lie, an elaborate pastime to have a laugh at the gullible servant girl. I have heard of more ludicrous schemes... 'Dear God, what have I done?'

Outside there are hedge animals, enormous, shaped like the most exotic creatures, it makes me feel ill just looking at them, further from the house is a solid wall of dark green hedges with a small entrance directly across from the back door, "Fancy meeting you here."

Tension floods my cold skin as I turn to meet those horrid blue eyes, my eyes strain to follow him as he saunters out of the house, "I suppose there is a reason you are speaking to me."

William smirks before spreading his arms wide, "Our most glorious friend asked me to watch over you while he is preoccupied. And so, I am here by your side until he returns."

I blanch at the thought of spending time with this false human being, "Is there no one else?" I realize the idiocy of the question, of course there is no one else, William is his only friend, I shake my head, "Of course not, forget I even mentioned the idea."

He chuckles as he reaches for my hand, I yank away glowering hotly, "You will forgive me for my previous transgression if you give me a moment to explain." I turn on my heel and walk toward the hedges, the fury is boiling over piercing the flesh of my heart causing pinpricks of pain to explode through my body; he falls into step with me quite easily and I want nothing more than to strike out at him but I cannot bear to touch him, I grind my teeth as the hedges close around us, "This is quite a large maze, I actually know how to get around if you'd like to see what is at the center."

My hands tighten into painful fists at my sides, my nails biting deep into my flesh until I am sure I will draw blood, "If I agree will you restrain yourself from attempting a conversation with me?"

William laughs, his eyes dance as he motions me forward and strides ahead of me weaving through the maze without a moment's hesitation and the thought of intentionally letting him lose me entertains me for but a moment. There are others here, people Ander must not trust since he sent William to watch me, that thought sends me scurrying after that mop-top without another thought. After what seems an eternity of silent traveling the path opens into a cozy nook, a white stone fountain in the center with trees I've never seen arching overhead to block the harshest rays of sunlight, roses form a semicircle around the fountain curling around a superbly fashioned white metal bench. The smell of roses is wonderful, William settles on the bench his eyes instantly resting on the fountain, I stamp down my emotions and sit stiffly beside him, "I am aware your behavior was Ander's doing, though I do not approve of either of your reasons for such behavior and I am not sure I have forgiven Ander yet, let alone you."

William leans back, the movement sends my body into full tension, "Did Ander tell you why he was so comfortable with me touching you?"

"You're his only friend?"

He sighs as his eyes cut to me, "Yes, that is true, but even that is not enough is it?" I shudder as I imagine how far away I am from salvation if he decides to hurt me, "I prefer the company of men Clara, that is why he knew I would take matters no further, and why I even agreed to do it. He was convinced there was something wrong with you, you know. It isn't just that you enjoyed him physically, it was the ease with which you did so even though you were untouched and the way you spoke to him even outside of those moments."

A blush bursts across my skin as I wonder exactly how much Ander has shared with this man, "He might have considered speaking to me."

"Yes, well there are people who are elegant little liars are there not? He attempted to talk out his differences with that snake of a wife he had, and that did not work so well. He spoke with the women that attempted to seduce him, he even believed a few of them initially but he is a guarded man. There are people who know all the right things to say, perhaps he was afraid because he finally let someone in without making sure to begin with. That is not exactly his style, ever since that fire he has been careful who he gets close to, but from what I understand he knew very little about you initially."

I can't help but scoff, "He was unsure!? Oh dear me, well I am quite glad that matter is cleared up for him." I slam to my feet and turn on William the fury bursting through whether I want it to or not, "I still do not know what it is he wants from me, he talks so beautifully but I cannot believe him, never, I will never believe anyone ever again! I cannot do this any longer, I wish to go back, I do not want any of this, the dread, the..." I fall silent as that awful word nearly tumbles free, 'love, no there is none of that', "I'm going back to the room to wait, please show me out."

William opens his mouth to speak when voices trickle over the sound of the fountain, "She seems kind though..." The voice is soft, timid even, and I am sure it is Jess, I stiffen, William gets up slowly standing inches away from me but I don't dare move for fear they will hear me and stop talking.

"They all seem kind when you first see 'em, all fake smiles, and pretty dresses, ain't a grain of real heart under all that glitter and fabric. Just a black little selfish pit, you hear me girl? Don't you go riskin' Lady Amelia's wrath on one man's worthless tramp of a Mistress, she ain't no better than you an' me, pretendin' to be better than us and goin' round with that man, she deserves what she gets."

A long silence, before Jess speaks up, "But why the tea? I don't understand why Lady Amelia made me use different herbs in the tea..." The rest is lost on me, William looks back at me, after a long moment I realize he is speaking softly but I don't hear a word of it, my entire body is numb as he grabs my hand and I blindly follow, once outside the hedges he grabs my shoulders and stares into my eyes, I peel away the fear and anger to be met with the cool calculation underneath.

"Clara?" I meet his gaze and he sighs, "I thought I lost you, I need to find Ander, can you go back to your room so I can find him?" I nod dumbly and he trots away, as soon as he enters the house I move forward. I don't have the slightest intention of going to the room, if Ander confronts Amelia she will know Jess said something, she will be severely punished. I will not allow that to happen to her, no matter what she did it was not her choice, her guilt is enough for me to decide what I need to do. I will not be responsible for her suffering and I am certain Ander will waste no time in causing it to have whatever vengeance there is to be had.

The house is full of servants, after a few well-placed questions I am led to Amelia's office, the servant knocks and the sweetest voice answers, "Come in." The servant swings the door wide and I step through, upon seeing me Amelia's eyes darken, her face is plastered with a smile but it doesn't warm her features, "Ah, it is just you..."

She hesitates, I know very well she knows my name, that much is clear, yet I do not much care to play along, "Clara, Lady Amelia." I close the door behind me and approach her, the heavy desk she sits behind is larger than Ander's, as if the sheer size is meant to impress clients, her chair is high-backed, luxuriously covered in red cushions, a fireplace directly behind her and papers strewn across the desk in a haphazard fashion, the chair before the desk is just as beautifully crafted yet it is markedly smaller than hers, sitting a bit lower to the ground so that no matter the client she can look down upon them.

She lifts a cup from her desk, tea no doubt and my stomach does a flip but I push away the reality to cling to whatever shamble of a plan I have, "Would you care for some tea?"

My stomach plunges but I smile, "It is very kind of you to offer my Lady but I am quite all right, I merely wanted to apologize for my inappropriate behavior. It was quite misplaced, especially within your home, I suppose I understood my place was temporary but servants are known for exceeding their bounds. And for that I apologize."

She studies me for a long moment before smiling and this time the grin reaches her eyes, "Please have a seat."

I do not want to sit, but if this is to work I have to play along so I sit and meet her gaze, "Thank you my Lady."

Her eyes are practically glowing, "Is that all you have to say to me? You came all this way to apologize? Did Lord Ander request you do so?"

It takes all my resolve not to roll my eyes, "Ander demanded nothing of the sort, my Lady."

Her eyes flash, "He is your master, you are not his equal."

The words strike deep, they are words I already know deep in my heart but I don't flinch, "Perhaps not in your eyes, yet he insists I call him by his name, even in public my Lady, and so I do so."

Her smile falls away, "You will never satisfy him, even now he courts me behind your back, even while he crawls into bed with you he imagines his life with me."

I study her with a calm gaze, my heart is pounding the words into my skull, screaming that they are true, screaming for me to run, I smile sadly, "Yet when he is with me he does not seem in the least distracted, it would seem he should spend more time with you if he wanted you so badly. Were you aware that he insisted I come with him? I barely had a choice in the matter, and since we've been here he has spent very little time seeking out your company. For someone he wants so desperately I congratulate him on his restraint."

Her jaw clenches and I can see her cracking, "With the upper class there is a bit more to be had in the way of courting, though I assume you would know little of that since your Masters claim your body when it is convenient, since you are not an equal you would have little knowledge of such things."

I blush before fanning myself, "Of course not my Lady, yet even in that regard I must admit Ander to be my first lover, he is quite the gentleman, spending so much of his valuable time with me instead of solidifying valuable business relations such as those of the Marquis and, of course, those with you. I imagine he holds some regard for my honor since he destroys relations with those that would cause me harm. It is quite romantic."

Amelia is seething at this point, her rage boiling over, she sets her cup down hard, "You worthless cunt, no one will ever want that used hole of yours! Not even Ander when he finds out you are a pregnant little slut, all those herbs in your fucking tea, how many times did he fill your slutty little body? Bet there is a little child growing in that belly of yours right this moment, did he ever tell you how much he hates children? He's told me plenty of times he has no desire for children, no matter what he will leave you now. He will imagine you didn't drink your tea just so you could trap him in a marriage! You will never have him."

I stare at her for a long moment, my head throbs, if he does hate children will he leave me after this? The door slams open and I turn to see Ander storming into the room, I stand slowly and meet him before he can reach her, he doesn't even glance at me as he grabs my shoulders and thrusts me into William's arms, "Get her out of here."

"Ander..." He turns to me and nods, but his eyes don't reach mine, he is looking past me, through me, never truly at me, he turn his back and I feel cold inside. William pulls me out of the room and I block out the world as he guides me through the house, a few words to the servants and we are in a carriage headed back to Ander's Manor, after a time I manage to block out the emotions pouring through me, despair clings to me but I will not cry yet, I cannot until I know what path this will lead to, not yet...

"Why did you confront her Clara? That was dangerous! And what if I had not brought Ander in time to hear that nonsense?" William sounds livid, but he isn't the one I care about.




Saving Clara Ch. 08



"If you took him in there without a confession she would have known Jess told you, or him, or me, and she would have been punished. There would have been no way to prove it, perhaps she would have brought more lies and convinced Lord Ander I did it to myself, since he is so inclined to distrust me I do not doubt he would have tested me in some other fashion to sate his curiosity my Lord." My voice pitches tightly, sounding inhuman, the emotions are bundled so tightly that none is allowed to enter my voice but I am trembling, my hands are tight in my lap and it does nothing to quell the shaking.

"He would not have brought you if he didn't trust you."

I smile and it feels like I am breaking inside, "You will forgive me if I tell you I do not believe that for an instant my Lord."

William shakes his head, "Why are you with him if you do not trust him?"

I frown as I sink into the carriage, "A few weeks of kindness does not surpass years of fear my Lord, but I was trying to allow a chance because..." I shake my head, "But I cannot bear it. Especially not now..." I close my eyes and press a hand to my abdomen, the fear swirls somewhere distant, but I cannot let it in yet, if I do I will go mad.

"This is a surprisingly calm reaction..."

I look up at him, anger flaring inside me burning away all other emotions for an instant, "Imagine what I have been through to manage such a feat my Lord, now please leave me be."

William watches me, I am sure he is studying my stoic form, but my emotions are securely locked away, I cannot make myself care if he thinks I am manipulative, perhaps he imagines my reaction is calculated. The resistance is, but my fear is clamoring for attention at the forefront of my mind, in the darkest corner of my mind I hope Ander slits Amelia's porcelain throat, though my biggest fear is that he is ravishing her at this very moment while I worry on the fate of my first child. If there is a child inside me... I shake my head, I cannot bear to think on it, I am sure Ander will decide what will be done, though the very idea of losing my first child because he doesn't want one, or even managing to kill it before it enters the world. My stomach knots uncomfortably, my heart pulsing loudly in my ears as the thoughts begin to overpower my reality.

"Clara?" I look up slowly, my eyes ache with the strain of focusing, "Your nose..." I wipe my fingers across my upper lip and stare at my bright red fingers through blurry eyes, it reminds me of the roses, my stomach clenches and the world washes away.