28 comments/ 93129 views/ 96 favorites Adam's Best Friend By: D_Lynn *** One *** I bit my lip as he drove into me. It'd been at least a week since the last time we'd had sex. Adam didn't seem to notice, but I could hardly think of anything else as my inner vaginal tissue pulled and stretched with every stroke. I was going to be sore, that was certain. After a minute, things got better. Less resistance, more lubrication. He picked up the pace and began pumping his hips in a furious rhythm. I placed my hands above my head and pushed against the headboard to keep my crown from tapping it. He sank deeper inside as a result, and my insides rapidly heated. I could feel my inner muscles begin to quiver with early signs of my own quickening. "Fuck," Adam groaned. He grunted a few times as he rammed his pelvis for his final strokes, uttering obscenities with each thrust. "Shit. Fuck." I looked up at him. His face was turned to the side with his eyes clamped shut. Sweat beaded along his brow. He lifted his arm to wipe his forehead, then opened his eyes and chuckled as he patted my thighs. "That was good, baby." I nodded and smiled. It wasn't earth-shattering, and I didn't come, but it was still good. Sex was just like that for me. Not fantastic, but good enough to do again. Adam pulled out abruptly. "I'm late. I've gotta get goin'." He had a flight to catch. I understood. I knew this was going to be a 'quickie' before we even got going. "Need me to help you with anything?" He shook his head as he pulled his jeans up his legs. "Nope. I've got everything." "You're not going to take a quick shower before you go?" "Nah. Don't want to risk it. I'll shower after I check-in at the hotel. My meetings don't start until tomorrow morning." I didn't attempt to get myself dressed while he was scrambling around in a hurry. It would just piss him off. The master bedroom in his apartment wasn't big enough for both of us to be moving around. "I'll try to call you, but these things keep me pretty busy. We usually go out for dinner and drinks after the meetings. You know how it is. Need to wind down. But call me if something comes up. Or text me." "Okay. I will. Friday night, right?" "Yeah. Shit. Did I forget to send you my itinerary?" I nodded. "Sorry, babe. I'll send it tomorrow if I think about it." Adam stood up after tying his last shoe and leaned over to kiss me. A chaste kiss. "I'll miss you." "I'll miss you, too." "I asked Gary to look in on you, so don't be surprised if he just shows up. You know how he is." I nodded and smiled. When Adam and I first started dating, Gary was infamous for interrupting us while having sex. He had a key and used it. After a few times, though, he started knocking. Adam stepped through the bedroom doorway and took long strides toward his suitcase which was waiting just inside the front door. He checked his pockets and glanced about hurriedly, not looking for anything specific as much as just checking to see if there was something obvious he was missing. I sat up on the bed, pulling the covers over my legs and allowing them to pool at my hips. I could easily see him from where I sat. Adam's one-bedroom apartment wasn't that big. Adam glanced in my direction and waved as he lifted his suitcase. "I'm off. Love you, babe. See you Friday." "Okay. Love you, too." Without a second glance, he was out the front door. I listened to his labored footsteps as he schlepped his suitcase to the car. The unmistakable sound of the trunk unlatching, a heavy thud, and then the trunk closing again. Moments later, the engine turned over and the gears cranked into reverse. Then drive. Then a few seconds later, silence. I heaved a sigh. It all happened in a flash. One second he was pumping his hips furiously into mine, and the next, he was gone. Warm liquid seeped from my freshly fucked hole. "Oh, shit." I scrambled up, trying to catch it before it left a wet spot. Too late. I took short, shuffling steps to the bathroom and plopped my ass down on the commode to allow the rest of his payload to slither out of me. Then I urinated. My thoughts drifted aimlessly from one topic to the next. Nothing important or pressing. I feel ... unmotivated. Lazy. Yawning and stretching as I stood, I walked to the shower and turned on the water to get it warmed up. I remembered I needed to lock the front door, so I padded my naked body through the apartment just in time to hear the last ring of my cell before it rolled to voice mail. "Oh, shit, what'd he forget?" I lifted it from the counter and checked the screen. Gary. I set it back down and stood there for a few seconds, fully intending to ignore the call, when I heard my voicemail chime to let me know he'd left a message. What if Adam called him and he needs something? I reluctantly lifted my cell and listened to the voice message from Gary. "Kate, hi. It's Gary. Just calling to see if everything is okay. I couldn't remember what time that loser said he was leaving. If he's still there, you have my permission to tell him that he's a loser. And that he's going to regret asking me to take care of his girlfriend while he's gone. Because after I'm through with you, you'll never go back to loser-ville. Bye, babe. I'll drop by later. Unless you've already decided to dump him and are planning to be busy. Then, just call me." I chuckled at Gary's message. He was joking, of course. He and Adam had been best friends since grade school. I adored him. From the first time we met, he did everything in his power to make me feel comfortable around them. It wasn't easy. A lot of time I felt like a third wheel around the two of them. But Gary did everything he could to lessen that feeling. I wish I knew someone to hook him up with. I had lots of single girlfriends, but none of them that seemed suitable for Gary. He deserved someone fun. Uncomplicated. Stunning, to match his gorgeous looks. Gary stood about six feet tall, athletic build. He had medium brown hair and golden brown eyes. He picked up a tan just from walking past an open window, it seemed. Straight, white teeth. Incurable razor stubble. He always looked as if he'd just rolled out of bed. There just weren't that many women who could match that sex appeal. And if that wasn't enough, he was nice, and funny, and charming, to boot. Damn-near perfect. I scampered back to the bathroom and stepped into the shower. I mentally went over my list of friends in my head again, searching for someone appropriate for Gary. Worthy. No one came to mind. If they were pretty enough, their personality didn't fit. If they were stable enough, they were already spoken for. No wonder he's still single. Good single women are hard to find. Gary hadn't dated one girl since I'd started seeing Adam. Six ... No, seven months now. I thought he was gay at first. Maybe in denial. But I quickly realized I was wrong. He was straight. He confessed to me once, while Adam was passed out drunk on the sofa, that he wasn't interested in a casual relationship. That when the right girl came along, he'd know it. So, he hung out with us most of the time. When he wasn't working, that is. He had two jobs. His full time job was at the airport, managing one of the ground crews there. He started early in the morning, around five, and got off at three. And then, a couple nights a week he bartended at the new Mediterranean restaurant. Adam said he didn't need two jobs. He had a nice contract with the airport. But, he liked the social aspect of bartending. And he got a lot of extra cash from tips, judging from what I'd seen. He was just charming enough, without being cocky or presumptuous, to attract the ladies without pissing off the gentlemen. I'd say he was non-threatening, but that wouldn't be quite right. I'd observed several ladies giving Gary the telltale come-hither look as their date turned around. If one of those guys caught that, they'd consider Gary plenty a threat. But he never acted on even one of those silent invitations. Never so much as gave a single indication that he was interested. If they persisted, he'd flash them his polite smile and excuse himself to come talk to us. Other nights, he'd go to the back and send his manager out to tend bar for fifteen minutes or so. They got the hint. *** The rest of that Sunday went pretty much the way I expected. Like most Sundays. It was still the weekend, but with the unmistakable dread of Monday crawling over it. I listened to music. Read the paper. Did laundry. Adam texted me to let me know he'd arrived alright. As I was staring at the pantry wondering what I was going to do for dinner, Gary knocked on the door. I unlocked the deadbolt and swung the door open. "Hey." "Hey, sugar. How's it going?" Gary leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. "Have you figured out you're better off without that loser boyfriend of yours, yet?" "Not yet." "What can I do to help convince you?" Gary wagged his eyebrows and grinned. "Are you flirting with me?" "You can only call it flirting if you're not serious, right?" "No. Flirting is flirting. What's got you in such a good mood?" "I am off from the restaurant until Friday night. They're training a new guy to pick up some shifts." "I thought you liked working there?" Gary shrugged. "I do. As far as work goes, anyway. But I am looking forward to a full week with my favorite Katydid." "You don't have to babysit me, you know." The grin fell from Gary's face and was replaced by a mock frown. "It's not babysitting. I'm looking forward to this; don't ruin it for me." I laughed. "Alright, I won't. Have you eaten?" "Nope." "About the only thing we have here is spaghetti. Will that work?" "Sure." "I probably should've gone to the store today. I'll need to do that sometime this week, don't let me forget." I turned on the tap to get the water warm and then moved to the pantry to retrieve the noodles and sauce. Gary bent down to get a pot. He knew where everything was in that kitchen better than I did. "What have you been up to today?" Gary shrugged. "Not much. Chores. Did shithead text you to let you know he made it?" I nodded. "Yeah. Probably in the shower right now." Gary glanced at the clock on the microwave before turning on the electric burner. "Do we have any shows recorded from last week that we haven't seen?" "I think I'm caught up, but feel free to see what we have saved. I don't mind watching them again." "Damn, you say the sexiest things." Gary flashed his teasing smile over his shoulder as he sauntered to the living room. He's in such a playful mood. What has gotten into him? A few seconds later, Gary walked back in the kitchen. "Hey, why don't I run to the grocery store and get a bottle of wine to drink with dinner?" "That sounds good. I haven't had wine in forever." Adam didn't like wine, so we never drank it. "I'll be back in a few." I walked into the bedroom after Gary had gone to pull the covers up over the bed. It had dawned on me that I hadn't remade the bed after stripping it earlier. It could wait until after he left, but I just felt it was polite to at least cover the bare mattress with the comforter. I picked up pieces of newspaper that I'd tossed on the floor and coffee table, and then went back to the kitchen to monitor the progress of dinner. Gary walked back through the front door as I was pouring the pasta into the colander. "Hey, great timing." Gary set the wine on the counter and then pressed his chest to my back. His voice sounded husky in my ear. "Miss me?" I tilted my head to the side to put a little distance between his mouth and my ear. He'd always been friendly with me, and definitely flirtatious, but this was a little much. It was out of character for him. But it dawned on me that it was also the first time we'd spent any significant amount of time alone. "If you don't watch yourself, I'm going to tell Adam." Gary pulled away. "You wouldn't do that." "Why not?" "Because then we couldn't flirt anymore." He had a point. We did flirt with each other quite a bit. There'd always been this chemistry between us. Nothing we would ever act on, but just an energy that seemed to bounce between us that danced on the edge of sexual. "True." Gary pulled the corkscrew from the drawer and worked on the wine while I served the pasta. Then we migrated to the living room to dine. Two hours and one bottle of wine later, we sat on the floor sharing ridiculous stories about ourselves. "When Adam and I were like fifteen, we borrowed his Dad's car to go riding around town." "Did you get busted?" "Oh, yeah. Big time." "How?" "We went over to this girl's house. Shit, I don't even remember her name. Anyway, the neighbor across the street recognized the car and called Adam's mom." "What happened?" "Oh, God, shit hit the fan. This girl had a friend and we were all upstairs making out when Adam's mom and this girl's mom walked in together. Holy shit, she was mad. I think he got grounded for a month over that." "What happened with the girls? Did you ever see them again?" "Oh, hell no. It was just something to do at the time." "Have you ever seriously dated anyone?" Gary shrugged. "A couple. You?" My brow furrowed. "You don't call Adam and me serious?" Gary's eyes flew open wide. "I, uh, I didn't mean that. I mean, I guess I don't know how serious you guys are." "Gary...I practically live here. Most of my stuff is here. I haven't slept at my apartment in a month." "Then why keep it?" I opened my mouth to say something and then shut it again. I didn't have an answer. The truth was we hadn't talked about it. I'd been moving my stuff over to Adam's place one overnight bag at a time until most of it was there, but we never really talked about making the move official. "I don't know." "Are you happy, Kate?" "What do you mean? Of course, I'm happy. We've been laughing for hours." "That's not what I meant. Does Adam make you happy?" I shrugged. "Yeah. You know ... We have our moments, but it's mostly good." "And the sex?" His question shocked me. "I can't believe you're asking me this. Adam is your best friend. I can't talk to you about our sex life." "Why not? We've talked about everything else. You just told me about your first blow job less than an hour ago." "That's different. You weren't best friends with that guy." "I'm not going to say anything to Adam. Anyway, I'm not looking for details. I just want to know if, you know, everything is good in that department." "Why?" Gary shrugged and shook his head. "It's no big deal. Forget I asked." I felt guilty about not trusting Gary. He hadn't done anything to indicate that I couldn't trust him. Ever. "It's okay, I guess. We don't, you know, do it very often. Before this morning, I think it had been a week." "Why so infrequent?" "I don't know. Stress. We tend to drink at night to unwind, and then we're too tired to fool around." "That sucks." "What about your sex life?" Gary lifted up his right hand and wiggled his fingers. "Rosy." "It's so much easier for guys." "I don't think so." "Why not?" "Well shit, for one, anytime a girl wants sex she can get it. All she has to do is ask." "Not true." "Sure it is. Doesn't matter what she looks like, either. All she'd have to do is stand up on a chair at a bar and announce that she is horny and wants sex, and there would be some guy there dying to help her out." "You wouldn't, though. I've seen gorgeous women hitting on you while you work and you never take them up on it." Gary shook his head. "Why not?" "Good question. I don't know." "Then what you say about any woman being able to get laid at any time doesn't apply to me tonight, then." "Are you asking me if I would have sex with you if you asked?" I shook my head and held up my palm. "Don't answer. I don't want to know. We shouldn't even talk about something like that." "You're right. We shouldn't. I really should be hitting the road, anyway. I have to be up early tomorrow." I hated that there was suddenly this awkwardness between us. It felt so wrong. "Are you coming over tomorrow night for dinner again?" "Yeah. Planning on it." "Good. I don't really like eating alone." We both started making our way toward the front door. "It's my turn to cook tomorrow night. Maybe we'll grill out." "Sounds good." Gary held my shoulders firmly as he leaned over to kiss my cheek. He held me still while he spoke softly. "I would, by the way. Have sex with you if you asked me." He released my shoulders and disappeared through the doorway. *** Two *** I slept like shit. It was the only time I'd slept in Adam's bed alone. This was the first time he'd gone out of town for business. It was an annual event. Every May his company flew everyone to Las Vegas for a week of meetings. The way Adam described it, it was grueling. Session after session inside meeting rooms, followed by evening events designed to promote collaboration and team building. They ended up being long days for Adam. He'd warned me many times that he would not be available to talk. And that he would most likely come back wiped-out and in need of sleep for several days. I should've just gone to my own apartment and stayed there this week. Why didn't I? It was a reasonable question, and one that I had no answer. I suppose I thought it would feel too much like being single again. I thought I might miss Adam too much. But so far I hadn't missed him at all. He's only been gone one day. My mind drifted back to Gary. I'd spent most of my sleepless night thinking about the last thing he said to me. It didn't bother me that he said it. It bothered me that I liked him saying it. I could still hear his raspy voice. Every time I thought back on it, my body responded. It sent a zing straight to my clit. It was deliciously naughty. And so, so wrong. But I didn't care about any of that. No one could tell what I was thinking. Thank the gods that people can't read minds. How many marriages would end over silly, random attractions to strangers? But Gary wasn't a stranger. He was Adam's best friend. In a lot of ways, he was becoming my best friend. "You should come with us tonight, Kate." Tracy's voice snapped me out of my reverie. "Where are you going?" "I don't know for sure. We meet at this cute little bar and restaurant that just opened up and decide there. They have the cutest bartender." My mind instantly went back to Gary. "I have plans tonight." "I thought Adam was out of town this week." "He is. His best friend is sort of babysitting me. He's cooking me dinner tonight." "Okay. Well, we'll probably go out again Thursday or Friday." "Adam gets back Friday. Let me know if you go out Thursday, though." My desk phone lit up with a call. Tracy waved and disappeared. Two hours later, I was ready to shutdown for the day. I cleaned off my workspace and waited impatiently, tapping my toe against the leg of my chair and drumming my fingers on the desktop as my computer backed up files and proceeded through the shutdown sequence. Why am I so anxious? I couldn't wait to get out of there. It had been a fairly typical Monday. Actually, maybe a little slower than usual. There was no reason to feel like I needed to dash. Gary. I shook my head. No, that's not it. That's definitely not why I want to get home. The apartment is going to be empty when I get there. I spotted his Ford Mustang in the parking lot of Adam's apartment complex. My heartbeat ratcheted a notch but I tried to ignore what that might mean. I'm in love with Adam. Keep that in your head and you'll be fine. Adam's Best Friend I walked through the door of Adam's apartment and spied Gary out on the balcony working with the small barbecue pit. Classic rock music filled the air. He briefly looked up and waved before turning his attention back to what he was doing. I waved back and smiled to myself. You are such a dork. He didn't mean anything by what he said last night. It was just the wine talking. With that one look I could tell that everything was back to normal with us. How I'd spent so much time thinking about one stupid line was beyond me. I heaved a sigh and headed for the bedroom to change clothes. We ate burgers and chips and then settled on the sofa to watch television. Eventually, I ended up sprawled out on most of the sofa with my feet tucked into the cushions near Gary's butt. His arm had come to drape comfortably over my lower legs. Occasionally, his fingertips would absentmindedly trace little circles on the skin above my knee. I fell asleep like that, only to wake up to no Gary. He'd slipped out sometime in the night, turning off all the lights and television and throwing a blanket over my bare legs which were stretched to the end of the sofa. I briefly considered traipsing to bed but remembered what a fitful night I'd had there and decided to stay put. *** I noticed there was a missed call and voice message on my cell as I was walking to my car the following morning. "Hey, babe..." For a brief second, I thought it was Adam. He and Gary sounded so much alike on the phone. It didn't help that they used the same terms of endearment. "...Sorry I left without saying goodbye. You looked like you needed the sleep. I recorded the last show so you could finish watching it tonight..." For a second, my heart tripped. It sounded like he wasn't planning to come over again. "...Anyway, I hope you're not mad about leaving you there. I would've carried you to your bed, but I thought it might be weird if you woke up. I can still come by tonight if you want. Call me when you get a chance. I'll keep my phone on." I hit the button to return his call and fumbled with the receiver as I tossed my purse in the passenger side of the car, set my coffee in the drink holder, and shoved the keys into the ignition. "Hey, Kate. Hang on a second." I heard Gary's footsteps through the phone. He was at work and probably just needed to find a place to talk. "You still there?" "Yeah, Gary. I'm here." "Good. Sorry about that. I needed to get out of the wind. It's gusty out here this morning." "No problem. Hey, no hard feelings about last night. I'm glad you left me on the sofa. I slept better there than in the bed the night before." "Missing Adam?" "No." My quick answer startled me. "I mean, of course I miss him, I don't think that's what kept me from sleeping." Oh, brilliant Kate. "Are you coming over tonight?" "Do you want me to?" "Yeah, of course I do." "Okay. What time?" "Any time is fine. The thought of coming home to an empty place sort of gives me the creeps, actually." "It won't bother you if I use my key? I sort of overstepped that yesterday to get the grill going." "No, not at all." "Okay. I'll see you tonight then." "Okay. See you then. Bye." I took a healthy swig of my coffee and replayed the short conversation in my mind. I hoped I didn't sound too needy. What was all that about coming home to an empty place? Since when do you need someone to be there? I'd lived alone for years before hooking up with Adam. Since I was 22, to be exact, which was coming on 7 years. I hoped I wasn't turning into one of those timid women who needed to check every nook and cranny of the apartment before feeling safe. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't fear that was driving my need for company, it was loneliness. I must really miss Adam more than I want to admit. Work went by fairly quickly. I was in a good mood for some reason. Even the cranky customer call that I got handed right after lunch wasn't so bad. I didn't take it personally, like I had a tendency to do at times. I had to admit that it was one of my better days working at that company. I was a bundle of energy in the car headed home. I spotted his car again in the parking lot and couldn't help but grin. I knew he'd be there. He rarely failed to follow-through on something he promised to do. This wasn't certainly anything major, but I knew he would pull it off. Gary was lounging on the sofa surfing the television guide with a beer in his hand when I walked through the door. He tossed the remote control and swung around the sofa to greet me. "Hey, Katydid. How was your day?" His arms wrapped fully around me in a warm hug. "Good. How was yours?" "Good. I bought some beer. You want one?" "Sure. I'm just going to go get changed first." "It'll be waiting for you." I shuffled to the bedroom and quickly stripped my work clothes. I was anxious to get back out to the living room. "Did you hear about the high-speed chase downtown this afternoon?" Gary was standing just on the other side of the closed bedroom door. I froze for a second and then relaxed. There was something erotic about hearing his voice while I was only wearing my bra and panties. It sent a heated rush down my body. "Uh, yeah. I heard it on the radio on the way home." "They passed right by me." "No, shit?" I scrambled to pull up my shorts and drag the tee shirt over my head before opening the door. "What did you do?" "I was at a light. I had no idea it was even going on until after I got home." Gary handed me an open beer, nestled in a foam koozie. He frowned at me and then chuckled. "Do you know your shirt is on inside out?" I dropped my chin to look for myself. "Oh, shit. Here." I handed him my beer and walked back around the corner out of view. I didn't bother to shut the door since it only took me a second to flip it and pull it back over my head. "Damn that Adam. On the rare occasion he folds laundry, he doesn't pay any attention to whether or not it's right side out." "It's no big deal to me." "No. But it would be embarrassing to go out like this. Usually it doesn't matter because it's just my underwear, which no one can see." Gary laughed. "Hey, at least he does laundry." I rolled my eyes. "Did I mention the term 'rarely'? Because that's how often it is." "We're all ungrateful pigs, Kate. Get used to it." "I'm trying." I swigged my beer and glanced over at the television to see what he'd been watching. It was some strange cartoon that must've come on after the show he was viewing. "What do you want to do for dinner tonight?" "I don't know. I don't feel like cooking. Actually, I never feel like cooking." "I didn't stop by the store. I can do that for tomorrow night." "You know, I need to go to the store, anyway. But I don't feel like going right now." "We can just go together after work tomorrow, if you want." "Yeah, that'll work." I didn't even register how relieved it made me feel to have our plans for the next night already worked out. "Let's go out to eat tonight. My treat." "Really?" "Yeah." "You don't have to pay, though. I've got money." "I know you do. I want to pay. It'll feel more like a date." I met his grin with one of my own. "Do I need to change?" "Nah. Let's just go to that Mexican restaurant on the corner. They have a good patio." "Yeah. That sounds good." I lifted my beer and drained the remaining contents in a few gulps. Gary did the same and then I gathered my purse to head out the door. We started for the cars and then decided to walk instead. The day was warmer than usual for that time of year, and it felt good to just be outside for a change. I realized as we were walking down the busy street toward the restaurant that I'd never walked along that street before. As far as I knew, neither had Adam. We'd been to that restaurant dozens of times, but we'd always driven there. Gary and I chatted about work for awhile, then about fruit trees for some odd reason. We'd moved onto landscaping in general by the time we were ordering our margaritas. Then we talked about his uncle's farm in Iowa and his family, in general. We moved onto my family during the second round of margaritas, and then finished eating. Just for good measure, we ordered one more round of drinks after our plates had been cleared. The sun was setting and the cooler air sent a chill over my bare legs. I shivered and rubbed my skin to keep warm. Gary noticed my discomfort and paid the check. "We should head back. It's starting to get chilly." I nodded. It wasn't that cool outside, but the frozen margaritas were lowering my body temperature. Our conversation lulled as we made our way back down the busy street toward the apartment complex. Gary slipped his hand around my waist and held me close to his side as we walked. He was just doing it to keep me warm for the walk, but it felt good to feel a man's hands on me. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pressed my body to his side, then fell in step with him to walk comfortably that way. I balanced myself with my free hand on his abdomen every so often. I was probably more inebriated than I realized. Gary turned to face me when we reached the door to the apartment. "I need to get going." "You're not coming in?" I was too buzzed to care how desperate it sounded. "It's almost ten. I have to work early." I nodded quickly. He didn't need to explain. It was just later than I had realized. We'd been talking at the restaurant for several hours. Where did the time go? "Thanks for the date." "Thanks for buying me dinner." I looked up at Gary. We were still clinging to each other's waist as we stood there. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine for a kiss. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. I didn't even think about it. That is, until his tongue was sliding past my lips. I gasped in his mouth. Gary's hand moved to the back of my head to hold me in place as he continued to assault my mouth. His soft tongue moved over mine, coaxing me to acquiesce. His grasp was masterful, but his maneuvers were gentle. All my conscious thought melted away and I could only focus on how perfect that mouth felt on mine. I swiped my tongue over his and began my own exploration of his mouth. My arms curled around his back. Our tongues were weaving and dancing as we gripped each other for several long seconds before my brain caught up. I unlocked my arms from their embrace and pulled my face away abruptly. I stared up at Gary, panting and unable to form any words. "Oh, shit, Kate. I'm sorry." I shook my head. It wasn't his fault. Well, not totally his fault, anyway. Somewhere in there, I'd agreed to participate. "Damn margaritas." I shook my head. "I must've given off the wrong signals. I'm usually not this..." I stopped myself before finishing the sentence. He didn't need to know that my panties were wet just from kissing him. Gary froze for a second and then shook his head. "Don't blame yourself. It was me. I started it. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking." A chuckle escaped my still-gaping mouth. For some reason I was starting to find humor in the situation. Probably because we were both trying so hard to blame ourselves and not the other person. It took Gary a couple more seconds to join in my amusement. Then we were both laughing out loud at how absurd we'd just acted. Gary caught his breath after laughing and took a step backward. "We still on for grocery shopping tomorrow?" I nodded. "Yeah. Are you good to drive?" "Yeah. I'm fine. Only two miles down back roads." I nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow." Gary was already halfway to his car when I called out. "See you tomorrow." He waved as he turned around to flash me that million dollar smile of his. *** Three *** Wednesday wasn't as awkward as I feared it was going to be. It helped that we had a task to occupy our attention. Grocery shopping. I hated grocery shopping almost as much as I hated cooking. Gary made the chore bearable, though. He pushed the cart and tried to decipher my handwriting as I plucked items from the shelves. It took about three times longer than it should have because we kept passing isles that Gary swore contained nothing on my list, only to go back to that isle, sometimes twice, to get stuff. I didn't mind it nearly as much as doing it on my own, though. He managed to make the arduous task seem effortless and even fun at times. Especially when he tried blaming his mistakes on my bad handwriting. We spent most of the time joking around and laughing, rather than actually shopping. We bought a ready-made rotisserie chicken from the deli and devoured it when we got back to Adam's apartment. Then we watched television until I was once again sprawled out across the sofa. This time, he insisted I rest my head on his lap, rather than my stinky feet. By the time I was settling my head on his thigh, I'd forgotten the kiss completely. It was just plain old Gary, my boyfriend's best friend, hanging out and watching television like always. I was drifting off to sleep before I even realized it. I was dreaming of a dark place. A long corridor with shadowy inlets. I wasn't afraid, but every pore of my body felt like it was on high alert. Aroused, even. I was curious what was around the next bend. Someone was waiting for me. Not human. Not beast. It was breathing hard. A raspy growl. It reached up to my breast and caressed me there. Its eyes bore into me with lustful intent. It wanted me sexually. Blood rushed to my center and pulsed a needy rhythm there. I couldn't deny that I wanted it. Suddenly I was awake. Gary's thigh jerked beneath my head and I realized he was asleep. I lifted up and squinted at the clock. It was 1:15. Gary's arm was firmly trapped between my arm and my side. His hand was resting just beneath my breast. My dream. Was he caressing my breast while I was asleep? I shook my head, not wanting to think that he would even do such a thing. And trying not to focus on the intense throbbing of my pussy at the realization that he might have. I wanted to nudge his hand to make it touch me there accidentally. I considered it for a few moments. What am I thinking? That dream made me so horny. I've clearly lost my mind. I started to shift so I could get up and Gary awoke. His hand splayed over my rib cage and moved toward the underside of my breast just a fraction of an inch. I held my breath. For just a brief moment, or an eternity, I'm not sure which; he kept his hand firmly in place just below the sway of my breasts. Just a fraction of an inch from touching them. "I fell asleep." His voice was raspy. So fucking sexy. I nodded. "Me, too." His hand slithered up my side as he freed his arm from my grasp. "Fuck, it's after one." I knew he didn't want to wake up all the way to drive. He wouldn't be able to get back to sleep in time to get up for work. He'd spent many a night on Adam's sofa for that very reason. "Don't go anywhere. Just sleep here. I'll move into the bedroom." I got up before he could argue. Although, judging from his sleepy face, I'm not sure he would have. I ambled off and collapsed onto Adam's bed, barely managing to slide my legs under the covers before drifting back to sleep. Four hours later, something was out of place. I blinked awake and froze, listening for what was amiss. I heard Gary moaning. I thought he was sleeping and dismissed it as a dream until something in his breathing made me realize he was actually awake. And sexually aroused. And masturbating. I sat up and quietly leaned to the other side of the bed to peer into the living room. Gary had removed his shirt. The ripple of the muscles in his shoulder as his arm shook was gorgeous. He looked so utterly masculine. His disheveled hair hung over his downcast eyes. He almost appeared to be praying. His lips were barely moving. I strained to hear what he was whispering. "Oh, Kate. Yes." I froze and held my breath. Oh, shit. He's fantasizing about me. A thousand electrical impulses shot straight to my pussy at the thought of it. The incessant throbbing of my now needy cunt was unbearable. An entire army of inner voices waged war inside my head. Part of me, my bottom half undoubtedly, wanted to go to him. I wanted to kneel at his feet and give myself to him as if his prayers had been answered. The other half of me begged me to lie back down and try and forget I ever saw anything. But I knew that could never be possible. I wouldn't forget. Even if I didn't do anything about it, which I'd already decided, I could never get the vision out of my mind. And his reverent voice as he spoke my name. Adam had never talked to me like that. Not in the throes of passion, or at any other time for that matter. I stretched out flat on my back and pulled the covers up to my chin as I continued to listen to his barely audible pleas. I pressed my thighs firmly together to try and tamper the aching between them. His breath hitched, and then his voice sputtered a desperate whine. He was coming. It was over. I rolled onto my side and placed as much of my back toward the doorway as possible. I didn't want there to be any chance of him discovering me awake. I heard rustling. Shoestrings being pulled. Footsteps. I clamped my eyes shut tight and held my breath. A few moments later, the door opened and shut. The deadbolt locked in place. He was gone. I took a deep breath and released the tension that had grabbed hold of my entire body. *** That day at work was a blur. On the one hand, I felt numb. Like I wasn't even operating in the same dimension as everyone else in the office. His voice haunted me. At random times throughout the day I'd hear it, "Oh, Kate. Yes." The memory of his hair hanging over his forehead, the way it trembled along with his lips. The motion of his arm as he fisted himself. It was all so intensely erotic. "Oh, Kate. Yes." Over and over I tortured myself with it. Before that week, I'd never even dreamed of having sex with Gary. Now I couldn't get it off my mind. I sat in the break room trying to choke down a granola bar. It was the only thing that sounded even halfway edible. My stomach gurgled and complained. I was too nervous to eat. Too guilty, or something. I considered calling Gary to tell him I wasn't feeling well and needed to just spend the night by myself. But I couldn't do it. Every time I lifted my phone and started to search for his number, I felt like I was going to puke. What, then? I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Nothing had happened, really. I'd caught him jacking off in the living room. I'm sure it's not the first time he's jacked off in there. He's spent enough nights there. I wondered if this was just one of those things guys routinely did that girls knew nothing about. Maybe guys just pull the last girl they saw into their fantasy and I just happened to be that person for Gary. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing. As I was approaching the apartment, passing Gary's car on the way, I regretted not having called him. I was fairly certain I was going to toss the paltry contents of my stomach into the bushes outside the building. I managed to make it to the door, though. "Hey, sunshine. How was your day?" Gary's familiar, happy attitude and winning smile acted like an antacid on my stomach. I smiled and nodded. "You want a beer?" I shook my head and held up my palm. "No, thanks. I didn't eat much for lunch." "Everything alright?" I considered his question as I studied his concerned face. "Yeah. Everything is fine." Adam's Best Friend "Okay. I'm fixing dinner. Go ahead and get changed. This is our last night together, you know." I nodded and then turned toward the bedroom. A sense of relief washed over me. Everything would be back to normal in one day. I wondered what Adam was doing at that moment. I miss him. I plopped onto the bed to take my shoes off. A sense of dread needled at me. Everything will be back the way it used to be. I tried to figure out why that thought didn't sound appealing. And then another thought occurred to me. No, I don't miss Adam. I haven't so much as thought about him all week. But I knew there was something missing. I did feel that. It felt like a hole in the middle of my chest. "I've changed my mind about that beer." "Okay." Gary moved to the refrigerator and lifted a can from it. He slapped it in a koozie and popped the top before handing it to me. "Thanks. Gotta love a bartender." "Why is that?" "I get my beer in a koozie with the top already opened." "How does Adam give it to you?" "Adam tells me to get it myself, unless he happens to be standing next to the frig. Then, he pulls it out and tosses it to me." Gary laughed. "Sounds like him." I lifted the can to my lips and took a taste. It hit the spot. I was definitely in the mood for beer. We talked idly in the kitchen while Gary finished cooking. I finished a second beer, and then a third before dinner was even ready. "You're really downing those." I nodded. My head was buzzing something fierce. I danced into the living room to the music in my head and muted the television, which had only been providing background noise. I flipped on the stereo, and then turned up the volume and started dancing with my beer in my hand. Every once in awhile, I'd glance to the kitchen and wave at Gary. He'd just chuckle and shake his head before turning his attention back to his cooking. The next time I looked up, Gary was standing a few feet from me. I stopped dancing and stood upright and still. He mouthed "Dinner is ready." Or, he said it out loud, I'm not sure. I walked to the stereo and turned down the volume and then followed him into the kitchen. He'd made some sort of casserole dish thing. A recipe that was his mom's, or aunt's, or something like that. The details were a bit fuzzy. It was good. I slopped it down, finishing my plate, and then turned my attention back to my drinking. I plopped down on the floor in the living room and stared up at the muted television as I hummed to the song on the radio. Gary joined me with a fresh beer in his hand, sitting on the floor opposite the coffee table from me. "I hardly ever just listen to music, anymore. I've always got to be doing something else. Watching television. Reading. Housework." Gary lifted the remote off the table and flipped off the television. It dimmed the lighting in the room considerably. "I know what you mean. We're always moving. Gotta be doing something." "I like just sitting here and talking." I blinked a couple of times to get Gary into focus. He was starting to spin a little. I set my beer on the table and silently swore to myself not to drink any more of it. "We never do that." "We've done it practically every night this week." "No, not you-and-me, we; I mean Adam and I." "Oh." "We watch our shows and he texts other people. I guess you probably know that." "I don't text much." "Oh. I wonder who he's texting, then. Anyway, we don't talk. Nothing to say." I sort of realized I was rambling and decided I needed to shut up. "You've probably already covered the important things." I nodded and frowned. I suddenly wanted to talk about something other than Adam and me. "Tell me about the serious girlfriends you've had." Gary took a deep breath. "Well, there was Sara. We dated for a little over a year." "Why did you break up?" "We just sort of drifted. I didn't really like her friends, and she hated Adam." "Really? Why?" "I don't know. She thought he was a little demeaning to women." Gary quickly added, "He was different back then. Dating around, playing the field. You know." I nodded and smiled at Gary to set him at ease. Inside my stomach did somersaults. "What didn't you like about her friends?" "They were always in her business. In our business. I guess a lot of that was Sara's fault, since she was the one who told them everything. Anyway, I just got sick of being around all that drama." "What about the second girl. The other serious one. You said there was two. Right?" "I did. Good memory. Yeah, the second one was Trish. She and I dated through college. Three years total, off and on." "Wow, that's a lot of invested time." "Yeah, I guess. I thought we might get hitched." "What happened?" "We were young and stupid. We'd get drunk and then have these huge fights. One of us would break up with the other one for about a month or so, and then we'd get back together again. During our last break, she started dating someone else. I mean, we both dated other people on our breaks, but this was different. It was Adam." I blanched when I heard his name. "I guess I couldn't stand the thought of getting back together with her after that. I didn't blame Adam for doing it, though." "Maybe you should have. He had to know how much she meant to you." "Yeah, but he knew it wasn't going to work out. I mean, let's face it, if we were going to get married, we'd have done it by then. I think I knew in my gut that it wasn't right, but I didn't want to admit it to myself." The churning started in my stomach again. I wasn't sure if it was because of what he'd told me about Adam or because of the beer. "I don't think marriage is supposed to feel like a prison sentence. You know? After awhile, that's how it felt with both Sara and Trish." "How is it supposed to feel?" "I don't know. But if a relationship feels stale at one year, I can't imagine what five or ten would feel like." "How was the sex?" Gary grinned. "That part was pretty good. Trish and I were constantly having make-up sex, which helped a lot." "What's your favorite thing to do, you know, sexually?" "Seriously?" "Yeah." "I like to go down on women." My eyes widened for a second, then I laughed out loud. "Why is that so funny?" "You're just saying that because I'm a woman. If I were one of your buddies sitting here...If I were Adam, you'd say something completely different." "No, I wouldn't." "Yes you would. Next time we're all together, I'm going to make you answer the question in front of him." "Better yet, just ask him to answer for me. He'll give you the same answer I just did. Maybe in different words, but the same basic act." I wasn't feeling so bold after he threw down that challenge. He wouldn't do it unless he was sure Adam would say that. "So you guys talk about sex? I thought guys didn't do that." "We talk about sex all the time. In general. Going into specifics would just be bragging." "Does Adam say much about our sex life?" "No." I shrugged. There's not much to tell. Maybe if Adam shared some of Gary's tastes...Oh, don't go there, Kate. It did make me try to remember the last time I'd had an orgasm with Adam. It'd been a long time. In fact, I wasn't sure I had. "Do most women have orgasms during sex?" Gary's eyebrows shot up. My question seemed to shock him. "Uh, I don't know about most women. I mean, I guess that depends on what they're doing. I know a lot of gals don't get off during intercourse." "I don't usually. I think I could, but the guy would have to last, you know, a while." "I understand what you're saying. Have you tried to use your fingers during sex?" "Use my fingers? How?" "On your clitoris." I could feel my face heating up. "No. I've never, uh, tried that." "And no guy has ever done that to you to get you off while you're doing it?" I shook my head. "No." "Wow. Okay." "Is some sex ... some intercourse ... better than others for guys, or is it all pretty much the same?" "It's different. Definitely cases where it's better." "What position do you like best? No, let me guess ... doggy style." "No, uh-uh. I like to see my partner's face when she comes." A zing traveled down my spine and woke up my clit. I shifted my sitting position. "How about you? Any angle that suits you better than another?" I shook my head. "Nope. They're all pretty much the same to me." "You're kidding, right?" I shook my head. I was beginning to realize how much I was missing out. How much I'd been settling. Not just with Adam, but my entire adult life. A deep line creased the middle of Gary's forehead. His expression had changed considerably. "What's wrong, Gary?" He shot me a fake smile and shook his head. "Nothing." I knew he wasn't telling the truth, but I didn't think there'd be much I could do to change that. If he didn't want to tell me what was bothering him all of a sudden, I would just have to move on and try to convince myself that it didn't matter to me. What difference does it make? He's not obligated to share every last thought with you. It still stung a little, though. "I need to get going, Kate." My shock had to be plainly broadcasted over my face. "Why? It's still early." "I know. I slept like shit last night, though. I was worthless at work today. My crew will string me up by my balls if I show up like that again tomorrow. And I'm working tomorrow night, too. I really need some sleep tonight." I nodded and followed his gaze as he stood up. I reluctantly stood a moment after he did. "I understand. I'm sorry you've had to babysit me this week." Gary's jaw tightened. "Don't apologize, Kate. Don't ... Spending this time with you wasn't a burden. It was ..." Gary huffed in frustration. He was clearly agitated with me. "I ... I have to go." I followed him to the door and lightly touched his arm. "I'm sorry if I made you mad." He turned toward me but didn't make eye contact. "I'm not mad at you." "Then will you hug me goodbye, at least?" He seemed reluctant to do what I asked, but pulled me into an embrace, anyway. I gripped his neck with my hands and held onto him. I wanted to hold him like that until all the bad feelings went away. After a few moments, he seemed to be just as unwilling to let go as I was. A flood of nondescript emotion sort of hit me. A desperate need to be closer to Gary for fear I might lose him. I pressed my body completely to his and suddenly wished that there were nothing between us. No clothes, no time limit, no boyfriend, no best friend. I wanted to know what his hands would feel like on my bare skin. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, like they were just nights earlier. I curled my stomach to grind my pelvis into his. The crotch of his shorts felt like steel. He moaned softly in my ear and tightened his grip around my waist for a brief moment before releasing his grasp. I pulled away and looked up at him, tilting my head back to invite him to kiss me. "We can't do this, Kate." My heart was beating so hard in my chest I barely heard his refusal. I shook my head, not understanding how he could ignore the opportunity. I thought he wanted me. Did I misunderstand his words when he was jacking off this morning? I took a step backward, confused and hurt. "Please don't look at me like that. This is why I have to leave. Adam will be back in town tomorrow and everything will go on the way it was before. I don't ..." Gary shook his head and swiveled toward the door, gripping the door knob and turning it. "I'll talk to you later, Kate. Good night." He was gone before I could say a word. I stared blankly at the closed door for several minutes. Dumbfounded. Stupefied, actually. Pins stabbed at the corners of my eyes until wet drops trickled down my cheeks. I didn't even know why I was crying, exactly. I just felt generally forlorn. I stumbled to the sofa and flopped down onto it, face down. Then the tears really started to come. Someone had opened up the floodgates and years of pent up emotion just came whooshing out. It had been ages since I'd had a good cry. I finally managed to gain control of it. By then my head was pounding something fierce. It was the lingering evidence of my earlier drinking. I dragged myself to the bathroom to take some ibuprofen and then put myself to bed, too emotionally exhausted to even think. *** Four *** Adam went straight to bed after he got home Friday night. He was pale from having stayed up and drank the entire previous night. It was a bit of a letdown after he'd been gone for five days, but it wasn't like he hadn't warned me this was likely to happen. I was thankful that we'd gotten past that point in a relationship where every second together counts. We didn't have to make the most of every moment. There would always be another time. It is a comfortable feeling; knowing that you don't have to be on all the time. That you can just share space. I thought back to what Gary had said about his long-term relationships. Stale. This isn't stale, though. No, this is just comfortable. Settled. I realized that I was rationalizing it to myself. I don't have to explain anything. But somewhere in my mind, I knew that I did. Not to Gary. Not to Adam. But, to myself. Each time I caught a reflection of my puffy eyes in the mirror that Friday, I ruminated over what was wrong. I felt off. Not myself. I should've been excited about Adam returning, but I wasn't. The season premier of one of my favorite shows was coming up, but I only felt a twinge of enthusiasm over that. It seemed like nothing could penetrate the wall of doom around me. Why? By Sunday afternoon, Adam was returning to normal. "The weather next weekend is supposed to be real nice. I talked to Gary about moving our annual camping trip up. He thinks he can get off work." I wasn't sure how to respond. My heartbeat rolled like thunder in my ears all of a sudden. "Do you still want to go with us?" I nodded without hesitation, but then quickly added, "If you want me to." "Yeah, sure. I don't think Gary will care. It'll be a little cramped in the tent, but who cares. We only go in there to sleep." I'd forgotten that Gary and Adam shared a tent. They said that the camping spots they liked usually only accommodated one tent, but I knew that the more plausible reason was that Adam was too lazy to put up his own. Gary always drove them, and then erected the tent upon arrival while Adam got drunk. "We'll have to leave Saturday morning. Gary doesn't think he can get off Friday night." "When did you talk to Gary?" "Yesterday. You were in the shower." I gave an affirming nod. I wondered if Gary had told Adam that he and I had spent every night together while he was gone. Would Adam care? "I was thinking about going down to Gary's work to make the plans. They're never busy on Sundays. Do you mind?" My eyebrows lifted when I realized he was talking about going without me, but then I quickly recovered. "No. Go ahead. I'm just along for the ride next weekend, anyway." "Great." Adam pulled out his phone and checked it, then pocketed it again. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." "You eating dinner there?" "Nah. I'll be back for dinner." Adam pecked me on the lips and headed out the door. "See ya in awhile." "Bye." My mood seemed to improve as the afternoon progressed. I spoke with my mom on the phone and then went to work on the apartment. I hadn't even noticed how much clutter Adam created until I compared it with his absence. I'd hardly had to lift a finger while he was gone. I just naturally cleaned up after myself. So does Gary, I guess. I checked the time on the clock. It was already going on 7:00. I wonder how much longer Adam's going to be. Lifting my cell off the counter, I texted Adam to ask him. My stomach growled its appreciation. I waited another 20 minutes before trying to call him. I reasoned that if he were driving home, he wouldn't be reading his text messages. It rolled to voicemail, but I hung up without leaving a message. He would know why I was calling. Besides, I was starting to get irritated and it would just come across as bitchy over the phone. I waited. At 8:30 I heard a car pull up outside and park. A few moments later, Adam was fumbling with his key at the door. "Hey, babe." He'd obviously been drinking. "How's it goin'?" I wasn't in the mood to deal with his drinking. "It's 8:30." "Yeah, so?" "I thought you were coming home for dinner?" "Oh, I changed my mind about eating dinner. I just drank instead." "You could've called to tell me." "You didn't make anything, did you?" It would've been a fair question, but his mocking tone hinted at something else. He'd mentioned several times that he wanted me to cook more. The topic seemed to crop up whenever he drank. I think this was the reason why I had such distaste for cooking. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I waited for you, though." Adam shrugged off my complaint. "Not going to kill you or anything." I knew at that point that arguing with him would be futile. He had done nothing wrong in his eyes, and any attempt to convince him otherwise would make me sound like a royal bitch. I sighed and walked to the kitchen to search for something to snack on. I caught his smug smile as he hooked around the corner of the sofa, lifting the remote off the table before flopping down and stretching out full length. Just sleep it off. It's no big deal. He just got carried away catching up with his best friend. I repeated that litany as I was turning off the television and the lights. I left him on the sofa and just crawled into bed. Sleeping alone was starting to feel normal to me again. *** Saturday morning rolled around and before I knew it, I was sitting in the backseat of Gary's Mustang regretting my decision to tag along on their camping trip. I was a third wheel. An utterly unneeded and unwanted accessory to their trip. Baggage. Usually Gary was so good about looping me into their conversation, but even he was ignoring me. Nothing felt right since Adam had returned from his trip. We'd made up from Sunday night, or rather, I didn't bring it up again so we got past it. But we didn't argue the remainder of the week and everything seemed to be headed back to familiar territory. But not with Gary. Gary had made only a brief appearance at our place on Thursday night. That was to get cash from Adam to go buy the groceries for the camping trip. I offered to help, but he politely declined, barely looking in my direction as he did so. It felt awkward. And wrong. I wondered how we'd gotten so far off track. We were such good friends. My heart sank at the thought of losing his friendship forever. I'd hoped that it would all change on the trip. But it wasn't looking like that was going to happen. As the day turned to evening, I was becoming more withdrawn. Hours of listening to two guys rehash every stupid thing they did as kids will do that to a person. Adam kept slamming beers until they were gone, and then switched to the fifth of bourbon he'd stashed in his duffel bag. At some point, both Gary and I stopped drinking. I don't know if it was purposefully to offset Adam's excess, but it did occur to me that one or both of us were probably going to have to take care of him. He could hardly stand. Before long, I was sitting on the edge of my chair because I'd had to leap from it several times to keep Adam from teetering into the fire. Finally, he passed out in his chair. Gary got him awake enough to walk to the tent. With his assistance, of course. There was a lot of wrestling as Gary poured Adam into bed. Adam's Best Friend I decided to start picking up our trash. I wasn't in the mood to stay up and talk. The mild buzz I'd had earlier was wearing, and I just wanted to sleep the remainder of it off. When Gary rejoined me at the campfire, he didn't say a word. He just started doing the same thing, until we were silently working shoulder to shoulder to douse the fire. We walked to the tent together after everything was squared away. I froze. "I had to. If he pukes, I want him to do it outside the tent." Gary had put Adam next to the door in his own single sleeping bag. The other makeshift bed was a double; originally intended for Adam and I to share. "I'll keep my hands to myself." I sighed and nodded. It was best for Adam to sleep by himself. I'd just wake him, and that would almost definitely make him hurl. Most likely on me. Just the thought of it made me cringe. I carefully stepped over Adam to the far side of the double sleeping roll. Focusing solely on slipping off my shoes, I managed to avoid eye contact with Gary before sliding beneath the covers. I turned onto my side, facing the wall of the tent, away from the guys. I was just drifting off to sleep when Gary shifted his body for the first time. He'd been lying on his back. A moment later, I felt his hot breath on my neck and then his hand snaking around my waist. I thought he might be doing it in his sleep at first. But his breathing was too shallow. I turned my face toward him and whispered. "Gary?" "I've missed you." My nerve endings sprung to life. I was teetering on the precipice of a bad decision. "Don't, Gary." He didn't move away as I was expecting. His hand slid down my belly and over my hip until it reached my bare thigh beyond the bottom of my shorts. I held my breath. All of my attention was focused on his hand as it caressed my leg and began to inch up my shorts. "What are you doing?" "Shhhh. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since last Thursday." I hushed my voice. "About what?" Gary's fingers wiggled their way beneath the elastic leg of my panties right to my sex. I stilled his hand with mine. "Please let me just do this one thing for you, Kate." I shook my head. "I want you to know how it feels. Just once. And then I promise I'll leave you alone." "Adam is right there." "He's passed out. He won't know. He'll never know, Kate. What is there to lose?" I kept shaking my head even as my grip was loosening on his hand. He moved his fingers over my slit and began massaging in slow circles. When I did nothing to stop him, he pressed on my side to roll me onto my back. His fingertips penetrated my folds as soon as my thighs parted enough to allow it. He was knuckle deep inside me in the next second, forcing a gasp of surprise from me. I halted and listened for any sign that I'd woken Adam, but there was none. Gary withdrew his finger and then slid it up my slit toward my clitoral hood. He traced a circle around my hood and back down again, slathering the area with my own juices. He repeated this several times until the wet sounds could be heard over Adam's snoring. I couldn't make out Gary's facial expression, but I caught a glint of light off his white teeth as he smiled after a particularly loud slurping noise. I was fully aroused. And wetter than I could recall ever being before. What we were doing was beyond naughty. I couldn't even think about how wrong it was. His fingers continued to trace lovely circles up and around my hood, brushing over my hardening clit briefly with each pass. I rolled my hips in rhythm with his hand. Over and over. I was growing tenser by the second. He changed his routine, pressing his fingers hard into my flesh and pinching the bundle of nerves between them. He then massaged in a circle, tugging at my center and rolling it around. More pressure. He wasn't being gentle any longer. He increased the rhythm. His fingers vibrated against my clit. I held my breath as I was being lifted, lifted, and held in suspense...I gasped. I could feel myself coming unraveled. I pulled my pillow over my face and bit the fabric to keep from making another sound as every nerve ending exploded and my muscles trembled. It was powerful. Amazing. Mountains moved. Planets shifted on their axis. It was everything everyone ever said about orgasms. And I'd never felt anything like it. *** Five *** Gary had kept his promise. He removed his fingers from my panties and rolled over onto his other side, leaving me to wallow in my own confused thoughts about what had happened. I wished he hadn't made that promise. I wished that things were different and he didn't feel he had to. But no amount of wishing was going to change the way things were at that moment. I was dating his best friend, pure and simple. Even if I left Adam the next day, Gary wouldn't just start dating me. It would be the same thing that Adam had done to Gary all those years ago. It wasn't right. Nothing is right any more. Standing on the balcony, I vaguely recalled Adam announcing that he was going to jump in the shower. It had been three days since the trip and I was still walking around in a listless daze, feeling as hopeless as if I'd just discovered I had an incurable disease. I wandered into the living room and sighed. I'd made up my mind. I just didn't have the heart to start packing. Regardless of what happened with Gary, Adam and I didn't belong together. One of us should've ended it months earlier. We were going through the motions. I just didn't have the heart to break the news to Adam. I heard a buzzing noise and scanned the room for the source. I finally traced it to Adam's cell phone. I lifted the receiver and read the text message that was clearly displayed on the screen. Kayla: I miss you, too. I sucked in a quick breath and held it. His phone was locked, so I couldn't read the other texts. I held his phone in my trembling hand, silently willing another message to come through. The water shut off in the shower. I quickly placed his phone back on the table and retreated to my spot on the balcony. I wasn't sure what to do about the text. I watched Adam return to the living room wrapped in a towel. He immediately picked up his phone, and then unlocked it quickly, shooting a brief glance in my direction before taking it with him back to the bedroom. His actions told me all I needed to know. The jealous churning in my stomach about made me toss my lunch over the side of the balcony. He was seeing someone. Who? For how long? I started going over our previous weeks in my mind, searching for chunks of time not accounted for. The longest chunk of time was obvious. Vegas. Is she a colleague of his? Surely he wouldn't be that stupid. Then another random thought occurred to me. Does Gary know? He had to know. Adam told Gary everything. Then why didn't he tell me last week? He had plenty of time. I could've been moved out by the time Adam got back and avoided the confrontation. That was the part that I was dreading the most. The confrontation. Adam had this way of making me feel bad any time I initiated conflict. He could always turn the situation around to be in his favor. By the time we were done arguing, I felt about two inches tall. I'll just leave him without saying anything. I'll take tomorrow off and pack up my things. I can leave him a note. After he gets over the initial shock, if he wants to apologize, I'll let him. *** I found it amazingly easy to pack my things and write that note. It was like a huge weight was being lifted from my shoulders. I'd never felt more sure about anything in my life. The next day I got a call from Gary. I let it go to voicemail. I wasn't ready to make peace with him. The more I thought about Adam's cheating, the more I was convinced that Gary knew all along. It all made sense. It was why Gary stayed so close to me while Adam was out of town. He was supposed to keep me occupied so I wouldn't bother Adam. And it was why Gary didn't exercise restraint in the tent, like he'd done before. He knew that my days with Adam were numbered. That fucking bastard. I could almost forgive Adam for straying. Our sex life was practically non-existent. We were roommates, not lovers. But, Gary ... No way. My cell dinged to let me know Gary had left a message. I reluctantly listened to it. "Kate, Hi. I, uh, just got off the phone with Adam. He told me you've moved out. I, uh, don't know what to say. Does this have anything to do with what happened on our camping trip? I mean, cuz I haven't said a word to Adam about that. And I won't. I mean, he'd be madder at me than you. Call me, 'kay?" I shook my head as I deleted his message. He's just trying to cover his tracks. He's afraid I'm going to tell Adam how his own best friend screwed around with his girlfriend. Shit. Give me a break. I chuckled at the irony of it. I'd told Adam that I knew he was cheating around on me in the note. I guess he left that part out when he told Gary I left. Well, good. Let Gary sweat it out. He deserves it after what he did to me. *** I expected to hear from Adam, but after another two weeks had passed without so much as a phone call, I realized that it wasn't going to happen. Gary called me one more time, but didn't leave a message. I was sorting through my email inbox at work when Tracy appeared behind me. "You up for a night out?" My breakup with Adam, and newly reinstated single status was common knowledge in the office. I swiveled in my chair and grinned up at her. "Yeah. Let's do it." "Great. Why don't I swing by your place and pick you up. Your first night back out you'll probably drink too much." "You're probably right about that. What should I wear?" "Something sexy." "Is a mini too dressy?" "No, not at all. That's what I'm going to wear. We'll decide where to go when we meet up with Marie and Sasha. Marie has a crush on this bartender where we meet, so we usually have a couple of drinks there before moving on. Okay with you?" "Yeah, sure." We set the time that Tracy was going to pick me up, and then I began mentally sorting through my closet to decide on what I wanted to wear. It was a shame I didn't have a chance to go shopping for a new outfit. Excitement over getting out of my drab and lonely apartment for one night had me babbling a mile a minute as Tracy drove. It wasn't until she shifted the car into park that I realized where we were. And who Marie had a crush on. Gary. The thought of seeing him sent my nerves into overdrive. We hadn't spoken since ... well, basically since that night in the tent. A zinger shot to my clit at the thought of what we'd done. A mild flutter took root between my thighs. I followed Tracy into the bar, tugging at my skirt with one hand and clutching my purse anxiously with the other. Marie was perched on one butt cheek and leaning over the bar to speak with Gary. Judging from the way she flipped her hair when she spoke, she wasn't placing a drink order. A sickly feeling engulfed me. I nearly tripped over my own feet, causing enough of a racket with my heels to draw their attention. Marie swiveled on her stool and waved. "Tracy, Kate!" Gary stood upright, his mouth slightly agape as he watched us approach. "You can give your drink orders to Gary, here." I cringed when she said his name. The flirty way it rolled off her tongue made every jealous bone in my body take aim. And then I remembered something. I glared over at Gary. I'm mad at you, you son of a bitch. Gary picked up on my facial expression right away and frowned back at me, asking me what was wrong with his eyes. I shook my head to indicate that now is not the time, and ordered a glass of the house white wine. He delivered our drinks and started to step away from our group when Marie beckoned him back. I'd witnessed the same scene play out dozens of times when Adam and I visited Gary at work. It was always an attached woman, though. Not a young, pretty, single girl like Marie. There was nothing stopping him from hooking up with her. Except me, dammit! I gulped my wine and clenched my jaw as I watched her touch his arm. She giggled. She flipped her hair. She tilted her head and ogled him through her lashes. Another drink and it wouldn't surprise me if she hoisted herself up on the bar for him. Get a grip, Kate! He's not your boyfriend. NOT. YOURS. I excused myself to go to the restroom. I needed to take a break from the Marie-in-heat scene in front of me. I dashed out the side door by the restrooms that I knew wasn't actually rigged to an alarm like the sign claimed. Gary had informed us of that one night when we parked in back. It saved us from walking all the way around the building. When I heard the door open behind me, I didn't have to turn to know it was Gary. He knew where I'd gone. "You never called me back." I shook my head, not bothering to turn around and look at him. There were things I needed to say, and I knew the words would come much easier if I didn't have to look him in the eye. "You look fantastic, by the way." I shut my eyes, trying not to let the tears form. "You lied to me. You knew that Adam was having an affair and you didn't tell me." I held my breath and waited. I wanted him to deny it and convince me that he really didn't know. I wanted so badly for things to be different than they were. "He told me right after he got back from Vegas." I released the breath I was holding. "Not before?" "No. He wasn't ... well, I'm not sure about before. If he was seeing her then, he didn't tell me." "Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were friends." "We still are friends. I hope. But Adam and I have been best friends since grade school. What was I supposed to do?" I shook my head. "I wanted to tell you, Kate. I probably would've if we'd spent any time together after I found out. But, to be honest with you, I avoided seeing you. I didn't want to betray Adam's trust. Please turn around and talk to me." I turned on my heel. My arms were firmly folded across my abdomen. "Can you imagine how it would've sounded coming from me? After I'd kissed you on your stoop, barely refrained from taking you our last night at Adam's place, and then the tent. After what we shared. Would you have believed me, even?" I pondered the question. Maybe not. I might've thought he was making it up, without any evidence to suggest otherwise. I shrugged and then shook my head. "Listen, I've got to get back to work." I nodded and sighed. It felt like all my bones had suddenly fallen out of my limbs. It felt so good to be talking with Gary again. My eyes narrowed as I approached where he was standing. "What is up with you and Marie?" Gary tilted his head and smiled at me. "Are you jealous?" "No." I answered just a tad too quickly and felt the need to justify it. "I'm not jealous." Gary swung the door open and ushered me inside. "Too bad." *** I tried not to overanalyze the last words Gary spoke to me that night. It didn't matter one way or another. I could be as attracted to Gary, or as jealous as I wanted, and none of that would change the fact that he wouldn't ask me out on a date. Not as long as Adam was around and they were still friends. Which was going to be a lifetime. I went out with the girls. We danced. We laughed. We drank. And Tracy dropped me off at my own apartment, where I slept in my own bed. Alone. The following weeks flew by fast. Tracy and I became great friends. I was careful to avoid Gary by meeting the girls after they'd decided which club to head toward. Marie eventually grew tired of hitting on Gary and receiving nothing more than a flash of white teeth in return. She even slipped him her phone number, but he claimed not to have seen it next time she asked. He was being as gentle about it as he could. I was being super careful about who I got attached to. I didn't want to waste another half year of my life on someone who couldn't make me feel like Gary had made me feel that dark night in that tent. It didn't seem worth it. But the men were proving to be less than worthy in that department. No better than Adam, when it came right down to it. I wondered if I'd imagined it. Or if the sex was just intensified by the fact that we shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. Just inches from my boyfriend. I hated to think I was developing some kind of fetish. I was dressed in my outfit, ready to head out for the evening. It was a new number that I'd picked up from a sale rack at Dillard's. It made me feel great about myself. I swiveled left and right, staring at my full length mirror and admiring how the fabric clung to my hips. Then my doorbell rang. Am I riding with Tracy tonight? I don't remember ... I swung my door open and found myself face-to-face with Gary. "What are you doing here?" It was neither the smoothest nor friendliest of greetings. I was stunned to see him standing there. Especially since he didn't know where I lived. And the only way he could find out was ... "Adam gave me your address. Can I come in?" Still stunned and not sure what to make of this information, I stepped to the side and motioned for him to enter. "Do you have plans?" I looked down at my outfit and then back up to him. "Yeah, I'm supposed to meet the girls in 30 minutes." "You look good. Hot, actually." I managed to blush at his compliment. "I can't believe you're here. I mean, how did you...?" "How did I ask Adam?" "Yeah. What reason did you give him?" "I, uh, can we sit down and talk? This feels awkward." I heaved a sigh and chuckled at the same time. It did feel awkward. "You want a glass of wine?" Gary smiled and nodded. "I'd love one." I ambled to the kitchen to get the glasses, aware that his gaze followed my every step. "Your place is bigger than Adam's." I shrugged. "Yeah, well, most apartments are bigger than Adam's." I handed Gary a glass of wine and then led him to the living area. We sat on opposite ends of the sofa. "I came clean with Adam." I choked on my sip of wine. "What do you mean?" "I told him about the incident in the tent." "Oh, shit. What did he say?" "Not much. He's moved on." I nodded and sighed. I couldn't even feel upset about that anymore. I was totally over him. I mentally wished him good luck and took another sip of my wine. "I asked him if he would mind if you and I dated. That is, if you'll have me." I sputtered more wine, not expecting another surprise after the last bomb he dropped. This one caused me to hack and cough in an utterly embarrassing display. I set my wine on the table and dabbed my nose with a tissue as I recovered. "I'm so sorry. You caught me totally off guard. Do you have any more shocking things to say?" Gary grinned. "Probably." My head started swimming like I was drunk. I didn't know what to say. I'd not even dared to imagine this moment. I'd hoped for it a thousand times, but couldn't picture it. I glanced over at his expectant expression. Is he expecting me to say something? "I'm not sure ... are you asking me out?" "Yes. Well, sort of. I mean, we're kind of past the whole dating thing. Right?" "I guess so. I don't know. Where do we start?" Gary reached out his hand and I placed mine in it. "How 'bout we start with that kiss that ended too soon?" I could feel the heated flush work up my neck and over my cheeks. "Then when we think we have that pretty down pat, we should go camping. I have a whole list of things we could do, conjured up from a sleepless night I had last May." Adam's Best Friend "But, do you think it will be the same without Adam there?" "Oh, no baby. Better. Much, much better."