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The Sign

By: jthserra



Once upon a time Hugh saw a sign, not a common road sign or billboard, even at thirteen he had seen plenty of those. He saw an honest to goodness flaming bush, Old Testament, type of sign.

Hugh saw it while visiting his grandmother in the summer of 1968. His mom, his brother, his sister and he visited every summer, arriving in late May, leaving in late August. His grandmother lived in northeast Pennsylvania, in the Pocono Mountains. It was a beautiful place to live, and even at thirteen he enjoyed the scenery. He remembered mowing the huge backyard once a week. While the yard made a perfect baseball field, Hugh preferred walking down the street to his friend Marc's smaller yard. From his yard they could easily slip away to the creek or "crik" as they would say in their basic "cunnerman" accent. 

Looking towards the "crik", from Marc's house they had a great view of the mountains that rose behind it. They called them mountains; actually they were just some of the foothills of the Pocono Mountains. During the summer the mountains shined in a million different shades of green, each one calling for some sort of adventure. When they could sneak away to the creek, they crossed it with a log raft, and hiked up into the mountains. Once in the mountains they spent hours following old rabbit trails, exploring caves, and occasionally stumbling across a deer or two. The two of them had such great escapades in those mountains. 

Late one evening, while returning from one such adventure, Hugh saw the sign. Marc had just stepped inside to clean up a bit and ask his mom if Hugh could stay for dinner. Hugh waited outside on their wooden picnic table. The sun had set and the sky was getting dark, with just a faint glow of pink darkening to maroon. The mountains to the east became a silhouette as the moon and stars peeked out from behind them. 

Suddenly, He saw it. He not only saw it, but he heard it. Hugh supposed it was a meteor, but it was not like one of the shooting stars that paint a faint white line across the night sky, this one was different. A huge fireball, that looked about as big around as his fist, sizzled across the sky! It arced in front of him and then disappeared behind the mountains. Now, for something to look that big and still be so far away, it had to be massive. Hugh could hear the sizzling of the flames before it disappeared. He expected to hear and feel an explosion when it hit the ground. Something so big and close could not burn up like other meteors do. he braced himself for an earth shattering explosion, but heard nothing.

When he told Marc about the sight, he didn't believe Hugh. When he finally convinced him he wasn't joking about it, Marc still looked at Hugh strangely. All Hugh could do was settle back onto the picnic table and wonder. It had to be a "sign," some grand event was about to happen. A war would end, a miracle cure would be discovered or the military would launch some counter-attack. But nothing happened.

The next day, when the newspapers mentioned nothing about it, Hugh wondered if he was the only person who saw the fireball. Then he wondered of the responsibility of it all. What if in the Bible, Joseph or Noah ignored their sign? What would the world be like if some famous saint or holy person simply ignored the signs? Imagining a world where the ark was never built, or Jesus was not raised as the son of a carpenter, he worried about the "sign."

It was a frightening, horrible time. Over those months, Robert Kennedy was assassinated, the war in Vietnam escalated, riots burned across the nation, and Nixon got elected. With the burden of the "sign" hanging over his head, for the first time Hugh thought about the war, the nation, and the presidency. He realized Vietnam was not the noble effort to save a country from Communism that his dad told him about. Hugh realized the bombs his dad dropped were not just killing enemy soldiers. He realized racism was not something of the past, something the civil rights movement and President Johnson had solved. He learned that the United States was not Camelot. Only when Hugh learned these things and what they meant did he realize what the "sign" had been.

As the fireball crossed the sky and disappeared behind the mountains, something burned away inside of Hugh, never to return. The next year, when he visited his grandmother she lived in a different house, far away from the "crik" and the mountains. Hugh never got back to the old trails and when his family drove by the "crik" he noticed how small the mountains were, not really mountains, only foothills. He made his mom stop the car near the "crik", got out and looked skyward, remembering the fireball. Yes, it was a "sign," a sign of the times, a sign of Hugh's time once upon a time, in the summer of 1968. 

The Silence



'You're not abnormal Bella, know that?' the father figure of my life said looking straight into my eyes with my hands captured into his larger one.

I smiled through my car's driver side window and gave him a squeeze, 'I sure do, Albert.'

'Have a safe journey, dear.'

'Bye.' For the last time Albert gave me a squeeze and let it go. I left the house named 'Spencer's'.

Every one does not have some unique qualities, but those who have, world becomes a tough place for them. In another word, that quality makes them to be different separated somehow. And then comes a day when they start asking themselves, 'am I normal?'

This is my story. I'm Isabella Bradshaw. Don't ask me any further details because I can't satisfy you. I don't know my past. That's why I needed to come to my Councillor, Albert Spencer.

In his words one day he found an eighteen year old girl freezing beside some dustbin barely clad with adequate clothes on an evening of chilly December.

He took pity on that girl and brought her home. He gave her warm clothes, provide her food. And the girl slept until next afternoon. Then that betrayer ran away from his house. The only thing she took with herself was the chart he made collecting information from this girl.

That chart said that my name was Isabella Bradshaw. I was approximately 5'9"; my weight that time was 120lb. I represented a shaven head, an anaemic, ill-nutrient skin and some other medico stuff that didn't penetrated my thick skull. Only one thing I memorised; my name. I recited it like that was the only word I had ever learnt. I roamed about for several days but ultimately gave in and returned his house. 

There his tried his best to make me recall my past. But I was too blanked out. I was helpless and ready to give in but he made me realise that even without knowing much about ourselves like anyone.

'You're the one who has lost her memory Bella, not the one who has lost her past,'

'But what the difference does that make?' a frightened young girl cried in severe insecurity.

'It does Bella. We live in present. Neither past, nor future dictates what we should do and what should not. But every passing moment does. If you believe in God I must say, he has given you the chance to make the one of your own. He took away your past so that it can't be an obstacle in your future. He has done this because he wants you to make your future brighter. Not anyone has this chance Bella. Don't put your back against it.'

Albert's soothing words were like warm blessings to me. He did everything for me even knowing I might not co operate. About one and half year later I found myself in a better way, a newer Isabella Bradshaw.

My health recovered and I coped up with strong muscles. My physical fitness and quick reflexes made me eligible for the job Police. Not in higher ranks but it was enough for me to bear my own expenditure. But the main problem with this job was they used to transfer their employees throughout the state. So when my transfer letter came, Albert, the sixty five year old 'kid' cried at the news, as if he was separating from someone of his own. I came to know gradually that he had a five year old grandchild who died four years ago. My heart ached seeing his eyes get moist. But I convinced him somehow and left for my job at Seattle, Washington.

Since that day I used to spend my holidays at Olympia with Albert when ever my busy work schedule provided time. And I came to know the fact that I love driving. The journey from Seattle to Olympia was always great; it always felt like homecoming.

But returning Seattle was difficult. Today was no exception. When I hit the Highway my eyes pricked and started getting wet. Every 'good-bye' from Albert made me pathetic. As I discovered myself I found I wasn't that 'crying' type of girl? Even in much pain I don't feel like break. 

I was a peculiar girl and the most peculiar thing about me was I was a Mentalist.

It didn't hit me until I wasn't at Seattle.

It was one of the early days of my work. I was investigating on some murder case and my duty was to interrogate a suspect. As I remained looking at his eyes, everything went black for an instance. Then it filled with bright white light and later the picture in front of me was a room. As if I was sitting in someone's living room. It felt too known to me. But that instance I couldn't remember the exact place. But a cold wave passed through my pine as I saw the lady arguing with someone. She was the lady who had been murder a day ago. The scenes kept going on and I just watched how the lady was murdered. Then again every drop of light washed away and I was back in interrogation room. 

I was totally spellbound. What had I just seen? Was that real? Did I dream that? Oh God! For heaven's sake, I couldn't now start daydreaming with open eyes!

I felt nausea tic for a moment and I went for washroom. I splashed cold water on my face over and over. Then a realisation hit me. I didn't know the clothes the lady was wearing at the time of murder. I even didn't hear about the name Will Parker anywhere in her history. But when I was in that trance I knew his name, as if I was into that suspect's body. As if he witnessed the crime.

It was bullshit. But it was so real. It felt like if I wished I could almost touch the lady.

But the fact was that the suspect was not her murderer. I didn't know my senior officers would listen to me or not but I had to save that innocent person. I took a deep breath to gather my courage and asked my fellow officer to search this Will Parker, the nephew of this older lady. 

Any information about the case was true and Will Parker ultimately confessed his crime.

But I went sick with the realisation about the fact that I was some kind of Freak!

I thought for a psychiatrist and contacted him. He informed that it was normal for some people to see what was not real. He kept on telling his bullshits and I started getting distracted bit by bit. Then I felt goose bumps rose at the back of my neck as I kept looking at the picture kept on his table. It was a picture of baby girl. I saw for a moment that the girl fell form cliff into the sea and died. My eyes broadened as came to the reality. I gulped and asked the doctor with breath caught in my throat,

'Where's Rosie?'

He stopped as if someone had slapped on his face

'What the hell you're talking about?'

'She is in Florida, with your wife. Isn't she? Call her immediately and tell her to stay away from any cliff or anything.

The words came out from my mouth but I wasn't actually saying them. I was horrified and terror captured me like it was going to engulf me. I left the doctor's chamber immediately and started running through the Alley. I didn't know where to go or where to find rescue from the terror. I felt extreme terror to look at anyone or make eye contact. I put on a sunglass even at night and roamed about. After two or more hours roaming aimlessly I stepped inside a bar and drowned myself in the alcohol.

Next day when I woke up I felt my whole body ache with pain. But in my mind I was too numb because I had cornered myself as a psych. I don't know when I called the doctor; his secretary informed that he left for Florida where a pathetic accident happened to his child.

The earth down my feet engulfed me as I remained there standing with the phone kept in my hand. The day passed like blur. I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt the terror again, terror to face anyone. I thought if I look at anyone I'll watch them die. I locked myself in the apartment and called sick at office. I paced back and forth in my apartment trying to figure out, trying to rationalise incidents happened with me. 

I thought over and over but found nothing to recall from my past. I wasn't sure if it happened with me or not because I had no memory. But the way behaved in both incidents like I knew what I had to do. As if I knew I had to tell the doctor about his daughter as early as possible so that I could save the girl. It almost felt like an easy going reflex. As if I was familiar with these type of incidents. But unfortunately I had no memory to recall.

I kept locked up in my apartment for next two days. Then that night I saw him.

Earlier at Albert's I used to have night mares. Those were most of a particularly topic. I dreamt I was locked up in some tube with my hands tied up in hand-cuff. I was naked. My head was spinning with severe cold with in the tube. As I opened my eyes in surge need I saw the face smirking with evil smile. This time he said something. He said, 'welcome home Bella'.

When I woke up I was shivering even under two blankets. I was horrified, scared, frightened, and insecure. I didn't know how to win that face which always intruded my mind.

Next morning I woke up and even without the second thought I went for Albert.

He listened all of it with great attention. Then he stopped for w while and said, 'as you describe, it looks like I found you just you ran away from him. But I don't have the minimum idea what the hell he wanted to do with you.'

'Albert, how did you know my name? I mean when I woke up I couldn't remember my name. Then how did you?' 

'It surprised me too when next day you couldn't remember your name. Because it was the last thing you said before you passed you that night.'

'Did I tell you my name?'

'Yes.' Albert placed a hand on my shoulder and said,' I don't know what happened to you kid. But my heart sank when I saw a little horrified girl coiled near gutter. I've never seen anyone with this large span Amnesia. It even stopped me from going to the Police Station because I felt you'll be harassed even more.'

'Thanks for everything Albert. I'll never be able to convey how much gratified I am to you.' I hugged him in fierce grip and started crying for the first time in all these days. His touch reassured the security I needed.

Those were two years ago. Things started to change after Albert made me realise that I should actually accept the 'special quality' I possessed. It wasn't something evil I felt when those visions came. So I could accept it. Though they were not something I could stop if I wished but co-operating with this was always a wise decision. So I started compromise with the fact that I was something different, somewhat kept aside. But I was who I was, myself.

Might be this was the cause that kept me aside from people, from making friends. It was this way might be because I had nothing to share when my colleagues shared stories from their hometown, grad school or family or crack a joke. The feeling that how lonely I was actually, always made my way blocked to call them friends. I was like a blank page, erased out everything once written on it. But my colleagues were kind to me; they always tried to involve me into their chats. I used to interact for a while then used to listen to them being a dumb.

So I clung onto my job. I really liked it. And the special power helped me to get promotions too. Though I never disclosed my talents anyone other than Albert, all knew I had some kind of 'gut feeling' which helps me to solve mysteries. 

***********************************************************

Things seemed to be okay. The journey from Olympia to Seattle was always tiring. It was mid November and rains were on their full strength. Even at 6:30the sky is too dark and temperature might have fallen below 7 degrees. All these made my journey even longer. 

The radio was playing one of my favourite songs by Dana Kirstein.

I hear silent whisper & I know you're close,

I watch you shadow linger & I feel your ghost.

How long, how far do I need to go?

Before your splintered heart opens up and takes my soul?

I can't stop singing with Dana whenever I hear this song. I mouthed the song and kept on steady speed. It was when I turned a right turn and my headlights enlightened a lone figure standing near a car. 

Inside the darkest corners of a haunted mind,

I see scattered pictures of a lonely child.

How long, how far do I need to go?

Before your splintered heart opens up and takes my sole?

The figure's left hand was signalling for a lift. I automatically slowed down and stopped just crossing her. It seemed like the person hesitated for a moment to come near my car but ultimately came.

As I glided down the passenger side mirror, my world stopped spinning.

If I would ever be able to describe the beauty standing in front of me, I would declare myself the luckiest one. She was a petite woman, assumingly at her early twenties. She was wearing a huge pull over with the hood fell upon on her head covering almost mid of her forehead. As I looked at her brown orbs, I felt captivated. They were the darkest shades of brown, gently placed under perfectly sculptured eyebrows. A pair of black rimmed glasses was placed on her raised nose. The high cheekbone of creamy white skin prominently declared that she wasn't wearing any make up.  



Her eyes were to die for. I had heard about smoky eyes but, never really met anyone having that treasure. That day when I laid my gaze at her I felt captivated. They were the most beautiful pair that hypnotizes you, makes you feel powerless at their gaze.

I don't know how long I stared at the stranger's treasures; suddenly her voice tore me from my silent musings.

'Hi..... Um I was actually heading Seattle and was in hurry but suddenly I skipped and my car struck there. It seems worst day for me because my car battery has died down... so...um... if you're heading Seattle too can I have lift?'

Her rapid encounter and embarrassment made me smile. I don't know if I smiled or not but then I heard her saying,' but its okay if you're going to reject. Thanks anyway.'

And there she started to return back. It sucks when you're a silent person and your silence creates misunderstandings.

'Hey I'm not going to reject you. I'm heading Seattle too. So if you're.... just hop up' I'm never good at conversations so I thought to make it as short as possible.

'Are you sure? I mean it's not like that I haven't been rejected before but......um....... Are you sure?'

It's a quite funny thing when a damn beautiful stammers in front of you. But it's miserable to keep yourself from laughing. I tried really hard.

'Yes, I am. Now please get into the car before you get wet all over.' 

I saw her cheeks become scarlet. Did she really blush because of my words? Or it was the cold? I felt confused.

Then she hurried, 'let me take my bag and I'll be right back'

And she did. After securing her bag at the back seat she got into the car and I increased the car heater. Settling down she turned at me and smiled,

'Thank you so much for the lift. I don't know what I would do if you passed too as many cars did. I'm Amanda by the way. Amanda Long.'

'Isabella Bradshaw.'

She offered her hand and I lifted one hand from the stirring and shook it.

It was too cold. But it wasn't the cold that made an electricity pass trough my spine. At least I didn't feel the electricity was such innocent because it made the thing pulsating down there. I almost tore our connection because I had no intention to bump against the car in front.

A silence then fell between us. I desperately wanted to talk to her but found no word. I searched and searched, then she talked again,' Isabella, you mind if I ask your cell phone? I think my phone has died too.'

Oh crap! I don't use cell phones. I just hate how these things occupy someone's personal time. 

'Sorry I don't have any.' I saw a perfect disappointment in her face,' but I guess I have a walky-talky. You need to inform someone?'

'Yeah I guess so. I mean if you can call a nearby garage to take care my car then it would be great.'

It was just then we were entering Seattle. After securing the car at side lane I communicated to the nearby garage.

'They say they will take care of it. You give me your car number.' She did and I disconnected the call and start driving again.

'Thank you for everything Isabella; I don't know how to thank you.'

'You're welcome Amanda.' I smiled genuinely. For the first time in my life I felt really good to help someone.

'It's a nice car. I love the interior.'

'Thank you. But this isn't my own. I was given after the promotion.'

'So you're in.........' she left the question unasked and I completed,

'Yes, I'm in investigation department, Seattle State Police.'

'Wow! Now I know why you have a Walkie-Talky instead of cell phone.'

I smiled the way she said this.

We chatted for a while and then there was the last turn I had to make to head my home. But she didn't tell me where she wanted to go. So I asked, 'Amanda, where should I drop you?'

Again she went crimson. What the hell man! Did I have to wash my tongue before I talked?

'Um... I was heading to downtown. Can you drop me to the exchange?'

'Sure!'

She retrieved the bag from the backseat and started to sort out something. 

I don't know why, but I was feeling sad. I've met this pretty girl just an hour ago and I was feeling low because I had to let her go? Wasn't that enough weird? I was about to ask her for her phone number just when I heard her muttering something.

'You're okay?'

'Yeah! I...uh... I can't remember where I had put the booking slip into my kitbag.'

'Well, search the whole bag then.'

'I'm doing so.' And she searched again. After a couple of minutes I asked her, 'you sure you had packed them?'

'As a matter of fact, no, I couldn't remember and now I'm sure I hadn't.'

Wow! Great!

'So? You even don't have an e-mail?'

'I have. But I didn't bring my laptop.'

Well, now that seemed a real problem.

I opened my car GPRS and asked to tell the name of the hotel. She did and we found the hotel easily.

I decided to stay in the car but the insecurity I saw in her mesmerising eyes made me to walk her to the reception. 

Receptionist tried to help us but couldn't because she wasn't able to show exact proof to be the eligible holder.

I tried to help too but rules were rules and we were unlucky.

After arguing a while she abruptly started walking towards the exit, but I didn't notice at first. When I did I started following her. She came outside the lobby and stopped at the corner. Unmistakably she was crying, but I felt unable to make her feel well. I stood near her but didn't say a word.

She noticed me just then and said offering a smile,' hey I'm so sorry I put you into this. Thank you for everything you did.' She shrugged and offered her hand,' it was nice to meet you Isabella.'

I looked straight into her eyes ignoring her offered hand. She was shivering under her formality and those expressive brown eyes were pleading me not to leave her there. 

'You trust me?'

'Huh!' I made her surprise but I was sure at my decision.

'You feel okay to come with me?'

'Yes, but Hell! I..... WAIT! What are you......?'

She kept fumbling as I started walking, taking her bag in one hand.

She ran behind me and stopped grabbing the sleeves of my jacket.

'Wait! I can't take your help any more. I mean this is insane! You can't take me to your home.'

'Why?' I encountered.

'Because it's...it's.......'

'Nothing... Besides, I wasn't actually taking you my home without your permission. But I could manage a shelter for tonight.'

'Why are you doing this?' she pleaded.

I wanted to say, because I couldn't let you feel helpless when I was near you.

'That is because it's one of my duties to help someone who is in need.'

Without wasting another word I walked to my car, placed the bag at the backseat and opened the passenger door for her. She hesitated for a moment then got into the car.

I started the car and kept going. After a while she finally asked, 'Officer, where are you planning to take me?'




The Silence



To the stars if you wish! I smiled in my mind with the fluent imagination.

'We have a waiting room at our precinct if you wish.'

'Is it okay if I stay there?'

'Sure. It's for people who are in need.'

She said nothing. 

'Isabella?'

'Yes?'

'You mind if I stay with you?'

Yes!! I felt the happiest.

**************************************************************

I parked my car in the garage at about 10 at night. We grabbed some dinner before we headed home. I lived in the second floor of a five storied apartment. I didn't share it with anyone but some of my colleagues lived in the same apartment. It could be a scene for them if I brought a girl at 10 in the night. But I thought to let it go because I was desperate anyway. But for exactly what I didn't know.

Thanks to my fortune there wasn't anyone using the lift when Amanda and I got into the lift.

I was opening my apartment door when Mrs. Gomez exited from her apartment opposite to mine.

Well, I really liked her but she wasn't actually that type of person you could tolerate any time.

She offered a warm smile and handed over two mails from the bank which she kept as I was away from home.

I thanked her when she asked, 'this pretty girl is your friend I guess, Bella.'

And here we go!

'Yes Mrs. Gomez. She is. Amanda, meet Mrs. Katherine Gomez, the caretaker of my apartment when I'm outside home. And Mrs. Gomez, this is Amanda Long, a very special friend of mine.'

I particularly emphasised on that VERY, and as expected that took Mrs. Gomez's attentions too.

Saying hello to her, Amanda entered into the apartment. 

I was about to enter too when Mrs. Gomez dragged me and asked me whispering, 'so you're finally up to it?'

It could make me angry any other day. But I took pity on this elderly lady and smiled a charmed one, 'don't know Kate! But I'm keeping my finger crossed this time.'

Just then I shut the door and burst out in silent laughing. The face of her when I told!

Amanda was in the door way and she saw me laughing. She frowned but couldn't help but smile too, 'what happened?'

I took a deep breath and controlled, 'nothing. Are you hungry?'

'Yup!'

'Why don't you change your clothes while I put these frozen stuffs in to microwave?'

'Okay will be right back.'

I let the microwave warm the food and started the central room heater. With n a minute the whole apartment filled up with warm and soothing feelings. The sky was still pouring heavily.

She took a while to return but when she did I froze in my act. 

She must have taken a shower. The hot water made creamy white skin glow astonishingly. Those fine lines of tiredness were vanished and refreshment filled up the beautiful face. The huge mane of beautiful brown hairs looked black as they were so wet. 

She was dressed in a soft pink shorts and a white baggy tee shirt with a wincing Veronica painted on it.

She smiled a shy smile and asked, 'you have a hair dryer? I couldn't help when I entered bathroom. Did you mind?'

'You think I'm an idiot?' but I could be! 'It's absolutely okay! You're up with wine?'

'Sure!'

'Then bring a wine bottle of your choice from the cellar and I'll find you the dryer.'

When I returned she had poured two glasses of red wine but didn't touch the food.

'Here' I gave her the dryer and sat on the chair next to her.

We ate in silence. Our urge for food clearly declared how hungry we were. 

But time to time my eyes were skipping from her eyes to her pink lips as we talked afterwards. They were light pink as if the girl had applied lipstick but when I saw colour change with the hotness of food it was clear that she wasn't.

When we were finished Amanda vividly opposed to let me touch the plates. So defeated, I went to change my clothes. I wore three-quarter khaki and a maroon half sleeve shirt.

I returned to the living room and found Amanda standing beside my music player cabinet with a fresh glass of wine. She was examining a C.D when I entered. She smiled and said,' I see you have nice collections of songs.'

'They are the only friends in my loneliness.' I answered and poured a glass for me.

'You mind if I play this one?'

'No! Go ahead.'

A moment later a fine note of piano filled the room.

'Beetles?'

'Yup! Mine favourite!'

We talked here and there. I hadn't felt so relaxed with anyone in my life. It felt like I had waited so long just for her. I wasn't up with guards any time around her and it was so comforting. She talked most of the time and surprisingly I didn't get distracted anytime listening to her, which is a common problem of me around people. 

'So you're here for job or anything?' I asked her slowly pushing aside the bottle as she was already having the third one.

'Yup!' suddenly she was sad,' I lost my job about a couple of months ago and hardly making rents. It was the day before yesterday when my landlord gave me an optimum of one week to pay the rent. I desperately need this job.' She looked away.

I had to change the subject.

'You painted this?' I asked pointing at the Veronica.

'Yeah! This is my favourite cartoon. I liked Shaggy though. You like it?'

I never read those but the glow on her face clearly declared I was successful diverting her attention. So I cheered her. 

She was a college grad and was struggling as a cartoonist. Her previous job was not good for her because it was a glam magazine, not the one which offers much scope as a cartoonist.

She then showed her sketch book. Wordlessly she was a talented one. But then something kept my attention. A particular pair of eyes of a villain she created for her series seemed too familiar to me. As if I was known to them from my previous life. As if they had haunted me. I searched for something more. But particularly what, I didn't know. 

We started to chat again. But then she yawned small and twitched her head slightly answering some question.

'It's quite late now. I think we should call it a day.'

'Yeah! Me too.'

I stood up and lead her to bedroom. I was just leaving with an extra blanket when she grabbed my hand and kept dead on my path.

'If you start doing like this I'm swearing I'll get myself out from your apartment right now.' She threatened as a matter of fact.

I smiled at her anger and asked,' what do you want then? I didn't expect guests so I don't have any extra bed.'

'I've checked the sofa and it'll be fine for me to spend the night on the sofa.'

'But....' I started and she glared,

'One more word and I are swearing!'

'Okay my lady!'

So it was that. I slept on my bed and she declared to be fine on the narrow couch.

It was a restless night for me. Dreams came one after one. Sometimes I saw Amanda; sometimes I saw those eyes, sometimes other mindless things.

Suddenly I heard a rummaging sound and that made my sleep break absolutely. I opened my eyes and switched on the bedside lamp. The night stand showed 

3:40 in the morning. Then I heard the sound again. It felt like it came from the kitchen. I put on the khaki and opened my bedroom door. I saw a lone figure trying to seek something in the dim light of the kitchen.

'Amanda? What are you doing?' a bit annoyed I asked her.

'Oh I'm so sorry Isabella; I wanted to grab a glass of water to swallow some medicine. I didn't intend to wake you up. Sorry.'

She stated as I crossed the distance.

'It's okay! What do you want?'

'Just tell me where a glass is?'

'It's up right next to the wooden closet.'

That was a bit problematic because her 5'3" wasn't much okay for the height of the closet. 

So I walked behind silently and opened the door of the closet. She didn't actually notice so when she felt a figure just behind her she yelped and turned around.

That caused her right butt smash right against my crotch. It caused an explosion. My whole being got trembled with her touch. As if a high intensity electric drenched all over mine and I felt my knee buckle, hands getting powerless. I managed to put down the glass on the counter and then I found her gaze is penetrating straight into my breasts. 

As I don't have much room to hide I don't wear bra anytime. But I forgot to put on the shirt I was wearing before. And the electricity caused my nipples erect through the material of all most see-through tank top.

They were just at her eye level and she could barely tear her eyes to thank me.

I never felt aroused this much before. When I saw she was eyeing my boobs, a naughty idea stroke me. 

I leaned forward just a bit towards her and as if I was rubbing an etching skin just above the roundness of boobs, I asked her, 'anything else you want, my lady.'

Just then I saw an insane light burst into her bark eyes. Was that they call Lust? I didn't understand. But I felt a magnetic pull towards her lips. 

I got closer inch by inch. She opened her mouth just a little and very tip of the tongue wetted her rapidly drying lips in anticipation. When she managed to fix her eyes on mine she found me just an inch above her.

The anticipation was killing me; I was dying to touch the most desirable lips. I placed both of my hands on the counter a closed the gap between us. This made the very tip of her breasts touch my flat belly. May be they got rubbed too because that caused a little moan escape from her lips. I could feel the urge emanating through her whole being.

But then I stopped dead ended. This could seem like I had taken advantage of her. I envisioned the insecurity in her face back in the car and that stopped me from touching her. I never wanted to make her feel utilised when the morning would come. Besides I didn't know if she was Gay or anything. So if I didn't stop now I couldn't stop it ever.

I tore myself from the hypnotising brown gaze and adverted myself from her derriere. Well, it took all of myself from not to touch her.

She looked so disappointed as if she was going to cry any moment. I felt too angry for my coward ness. But I was helpless too.

I tucked the brown curl behind her ear that had fallen on her forehead when she downed her head. Then I lifted her head cupping her chin into my large hands and kissed her on her forehead. I let my lips enjoy the warmth of her skin a bit longer, then whispered,' go back to sleep Amanda. Good night.'

Abruptly I walked away.

********************************************************   

That night sleep seemed to be annoyed at me. Dreams changed from being scary and tensed to erotic and lustful. I dreamt about those lips on me and squirmed around in their lust. When the alarm clock finally woke me at 6:30, I found myself horny as hell. I tried to control myself and finally got up from bed. I came to the living room. Amanda was sleeping quite peacefully. She was lying on her side with her face towards the back of the sofa. The quilt she had been sleeping with was fully kept aside relieving her side. 

The white tee shirt was gone and she was sleeping only in a sports bra which desperately exposed her ample amount of breasts. In the early morning's glow they looked heavenly. Her cleavage was something to die for and it made my own pussy throb. It felt too new to me because I never found anything in a girl's body dragging me towards this kind of feeling, this kind of lust. 

I felt my eyes travel along her open skins and they almost stopped their journey at her shapely thigh. It was so soft yet lean and powerful that it made me want to touch... I closed toward her and placed a lone finger just beneath the hem line of her shorts. I was nervous to move my finger any further but an exotic magnetic pull made to trace my finger over her soft and smooth skin. 

A low moan escaped from the deep of her throat as goose bumps started to grow. I froze there and waited to get caught. But she relieved me when she squirmed a little and fell into deep slumber. I released the breath I caught in my throat and hurried to the bathroom. 

I masturbated and achieved orgasm twice just remembering her breasts and how they would feel on my tongue, on my own breast.

Finally when I emerged from bathroom, she was still sleeping. I went for run and one and half hour later when I returned the sofa was empty. I called her name but then I heard water running in the bathroom. I went to another bathroom that was attached to the bedroom. Normally I didn't take bath here but I had to get going before 9 so I hurried. I emerged from the bathroom and got dressed in white jeans and an ocean blue buttoned down shirt that matched with my eyes perfectly. As the sun was up in the sky after one long week of grey scale, I thought about bright dresses. 

I came to the living and found Amanda sitting on kitchen chair with a mug of coffee in her hand. She smiled when she saw me joining her in the table. 

'Hi! Good morning! You want a cup of coffee?'

'Sure! Good morning to yourself. Did you sleep well?'

'Fantastic!'

She handed over the cup.

'Thanks. So? When is your interview?'

'They asked to come by 10 at morning.'

'Okay! Just be yourself and I'll call you a cab if you wish. When you leave make sure to hand over the keys.....' I started in but she stopped me.

'Um......... Isabella, actually, they called from garage, they said my car is ready so I had given them your address to hand over the car. Is this okay?'

Oh! I forgot! Her car.

'Yeah! It's absolutely okay! When will they come?'

'They must reach by now. They called about half of an hour ago.'

An awkward silence fell between us. I looked at the stand of her chair. There was her bag, packed, as it was when she entered into my car.

I heaved a sigh, 'so, best of luck for interview.'

'Thanks.'

'Don't take it wrong, but if you fail to get the job what you're going to do? You head back home?'

'What else am I suppose to do?'

'But your landlord? He has given you an ultimatum.'

'I still have four more days.'

'After then?'

'Don't know.'

I desperately wanted to tell her that if she wanted she could stay here with me until she finds any job. But this could be an insane offer. I held my tongue back.

'I should get going now. They may not find the exact location.'

Yeah! I had to leave her now. But....... What was that I was feeling so very deep down in my heart? As if it was tearing apart, as if it never wanted to see her leave.

She stood up. She was wearing a dark brown skirt and a butter yellow sweater top with her hairs loosely tucked with some clips. Her face looked so adorable, so pure with innocence.

She walked towards the door and I walked behind her. I was about to open the door when she grabbed my hand and kept them into her colder one.

'I don't know how to thank you Isabella and I'll never be. You seemed an angle to me. I'll never forget you.'

My eyes pricked and I felt them fill with water as I answered her.

'I'll never forget you too Amanda Long.'

I couldn't help, I hugged her. It was so weird. I had only known her for a day and I was so sad to bid her goodbye as if I had known her from lifetime.

She buried her face into my chest as I inhaled her smell from her neck. I was afraid; I was getting melt for the first time in my life. It was so good to hold her; it was too pathetic to lose her too. 

We released each other. Suddenly Amanda looked at me wit a peculiar gaze. I saw that light kindle again that I saw last night. She slowly but steadily pulled me toward her as she inched closer her face too. 

We were now standing like we were the night before. She stopped there, her eyes shifting from my lips to eyes and asked almost in whisper, 'can I kiss you, officer? Just to say thank you? And good bye?'

I decided first to answer and then decided against it. I closed the distance slowly and touched my desired treasures for the first time.

I enclosed her lower lip with in mine and enjoyed them with all of my soul. They tasted almost like strawberry; it might because of her lip gloss. But they tasted something more, something I can't actually explain. 

I parted and this time I took both her lips. My tongue slowly traced the very edge of them and she moaned. I felt my knees buckle. I pushed her toward door never leaving her until her was against the door. 

We released each other in surge need of air. She looked at me, her face crimson with sudden excitement. Then we kissed again. This time she attacked on my lips as if she was starved without them. She bit on them and I felt my pantie was flooded. I tried to return her the full she offered me, kissing her, sucking her, nibbling her.

I was almost upon her, with her left thigh she was giving the pressure direct on my crotch which I squirmed under. I was blocking my thigh just between her thighs too.

I let out a deep throat groan when she asked permission to enter her tongue. I opened my mouth and let her in immediately.

I circled my lips around her tongue and started sucking when I heard her phone start calling. She let it ring for first four rings, slowly decreasing the pace of our kiss. Then she tore herself ultimately and answered the call.

While she talked I was unable to leave her skin untouched. I started to kiss on her neck. At first slowly, then I couldn't help but involve my tongue too. Her skin felt amazing under my tongue and it created a nice affect on her too as I felt her breathing laboured. She directed the last lane and ultimately ended the call. 

I took her face into my hands and attacked her aggressively. To my surprise, she didn't push away but accepted whole heartedly. A moment later we heard a car honk when we were in middle of a passionate kiss. 

'That's my car. I've to go!' But she didn't jerk away giving me the enough clues that she enjoyed the kiss as much as I did.

Slowly we parted and hugged each other for the last time. We climbed down the stairs hand in hand and in front of the main gate there was her car. They handed over the car, took care of the formalities and then left us to finally say goodbye. 

She kissed me on my cheek and got into the car. Without a word she started the engine and rushed away.

I watched until the last glimpse of her car was out of my sight. I managed to walk back to my apartment quietly. As soon as I had entered my apartment I burst into tears. I dragged myself to the sofa she slept this night and found the white Veronica 

Tee shirt. My heart burst into pain as I inhaled deeply her smell. She was there but I couldn't touch her anymore. And that was over whelming for me.

What had started in a rainy night, ended with bright sun? I was left in my apartment alone: as if I was destined for that. 

She left. She didn't have my number, so I didn't have her call. I hadn't seen her for another one month. I didn't even know she was able to get the job or not, but I wished everyday to come across her suddenly. I don't know if I was really being crazy about her but I dreamt our kiss almost every night in my dreams. And everyday I was finding myself craving for her even more.

November passed by. Sky poured generous amount of rains. December started but there was quite a few days we were able to see the sun. But as usual when you are in Seattle, you had to stop looking at sky and start enjoy the wet winter. 

Ultimately Christmas came. There were several extraordinarily enthusiastic colleagues of me who reminded me some kids from Olympia who used to jump, all the day on Christmas Eve. I'm not saying I wasn't happy about all these Christmas, Jingle Bell, or Santa Claus staffs but the thing was that I never felt belong to this kind of gathering staffs. They just scared me. I don't know about what or why but I preferred being avoided in this kind of festivals.

But my colleagues seemed too hard to put down. So they dragged me to the nearby bar after our duty was over. I really avoided drinks when I had to drive myself. So I picked one quarter peg vodka, and made it full with lime soda and cornered myself. Ryan, our Casanova, was paying attentions to some of girls when things seemed to heat up a bit. The girl he picked came with her boyfriend and Ryan hadn't really noticed. So when he tried to push things a little further by grabbing the girl way too below her waist ( actually grabbing her ass) her boyfriend came out from the blue and punched him right on his nose. Ryan was never a coward so he punched back. With in a minute the dance floor was a boxing ring. 




The Silence



We ran to tore them from a stupid fight. The four of us said sorry for Ryan's behaviour and the girl and her two friends politely begged sorry too so we decided to let it go. 

I was just leaving the dance floor when I heard a voice I thought I would never hear again. 

'Isabella?'

I turned and I saw her standing with a glowing smile on her face. 

'Yeah! How are you Amanda?'

'I'm fine. Oh my God! I really never thought I'll meet you again.'

'Me too. So, you want to have a drink?'

'Sure!'

And we sat on the chairs with our drinks and fell on usual as if we used to meet each other everyday. As if this one month never really passed and we caught each other right the day after we parted.

She informed that she was able to crack the interview and the magazine authority is quite happy with her work. I thought to show some anger not to contact me afterwards but she didn't give the chance because she begged pardon already. She was given an important assignment right after she joined and then she had to settle here and her office was in next direction to my apartment. So as a summary she was unable to see me again. 

I really didn't ask for any answers for her declining me, but the way she said and apologised it felt like she really tried to keep attached but was unable.

I was falling into her spell again. She kept on chatting and I enjoyed how intoxicating her lips were. As if they were dragging me towards them. I remembered our kiss, how those exotically pink lips felt on me and I shuddered in want. At one point she took a sip from her Margarita and my eyes were glued to her throat as she gulped them. The sight of that creamy white kissable neck made me wet down there. She leaned in to say something in whisper and her copious breasts were about a couple of inch from my hand and I felt an ache on finger tips to explore the treasure. 

I was lost in my lustful musing when a third voice interrupted us.

'Amy! Here you are. Can we continue our dance?'

'Oh I forgot yeah sure! Hey Jake, meet Isabella, my first friend in Seattle. And Izzie, this is Jake, our creative manager.'

I smiled and shook the offered hand. Amanda told Jake she would join him in a minute and he left.

I smiled and asked, 'and just when I became Izzie?'

'Just when I met you for second time.'

'Then I must not call you Amanda anymore.'

'You can call me anything you wish.'

Just then her friends called her.

She looked at me with apology and said, 'we planned to booze out whole Eve here so....' she left the sentence undone. 

'It's okay! Go have fun. I'll be here for another hour though. So if you find time catch me.'

I drank, a bottle of Whisky, neat. I waited half of an hour for her. But when I saw Jake started dancing with her quite in sensual way, I paid my bill and checked out.  

I never drove my car being such a drunk. I yelled almost every car I crossed and cursed the Christmas his fuck out. 

I entered home jumped on my bed. As usual I pulled out the Veronica shirt from the bottom of my pillow and inhaled deeply. There would barely be any smell of her after one month but to me her fragrance was still alive on the shirt. I stripped out of my clothes and started playing with myself as I recalled her from this evening. With in a minute I felt the familiar tightening in my belly and with one final stroke I released every inch of my frustration. My head started spinning and I passed out.

Next day I woke at noon. I took a long hot bath. As I was drowned into bubble bath she captured my mind again.

I never came to the truth that I liked girls instead of guys until I met her. It was not that I was never hit on before but nothing felt too serious or desirable like it felt with her. Out of curiosity, once I told Ryan to kiss me. He did but it felt so vacant: Emotionless. He knew I was peculiar so next day when I avoided him it didn't feel too awkward for him. Instead, he had been asking to let him kiss again since that day. Being 'friends with benefit you know'.

Amanda was so different from everyone I could remember. There was something in her eyes that wanted to tell me a thousand words. They felt like if I drown into those brown eyes probably I could get those answers I had been looking for so many years; as if I could know my past. And surprisingly I never felt the fear I feel when I look at anyone. The fear to disclose the death the person was going to see or had already seen. Amanda had that kind of strength which was barrier to the facts I didn't want to see through her eyes. As if she knew that I had this kind of power so she made a shield against her mind to protect some truths. And that was inquisitive for me. Did that something to do with my own past? I remembered those eyes she drew for her series. They were so known. They were like wanted me to watch them and get cold with fear. 

Was she by any means related with him? Was she.....

Now that was kind of bullshit. I never saw anything through Albert's eyes too. Did that prove that he was involved or something? I fucked with my mind; I concluded and got out from the bathtub. 

Day passed by, I could hear the bells and Hallelujah from not too far Church. And I was again in some deep hollow of loneliness. I didn't like to be in some crowd and I didn't want to be alone too. That was my problem. I was too weird to understand.   

I decided to spend the evening in scotch booze while watching La Miserable. I didn't know why but I felt like I was at the end of the world and just wanted the end of this disgusting day.

I didn't know when I was asleep. A loud ring of my doorbell suddenly tore me from the slumber. At first I couldn't realise what was happening then again a sharp ring even overcame the loud T.V volume. I dragged myself to the door and opened slightly. 

Was I dreaming? I must be because I saw her at my door. Fuck! Was it really!

'Hey, I thought you would be free so I........um... are you busy? Its okay....... I just....okay see you soon.'

She turned to leave and I grabbed her hand. 

'No it's fine. And I was free. Come on in.'

'Are you sure?'

As I looked further away from her I saw Mrs. Gomez listening us cracking their door a bit. 

I'll fuck her someday I cursed Mrs. Gomez in my mind and told Amanda a bit louder than usual.

'Oh c'mon honey! You can't leave already. Forgive me for the late. Baby, fell on slumber waiting for you. Come on in.'

I almost dragged her while saying this. I let her in and stood on the doorway looking straight to the opposite door. 

Mrs. Gomez realised that I had seen her so she opened her door out of formality and offered a smile, 'Merry Christmas Isabella.'

I returned a cheeky smile,' Merry Christmas to you too Mrs. Gomez.'

'You friend was calling you too longer so I decided to check on you know, being a good neighbour.'

'Of course you did Kate. It's so nice of you. By the way, will you please tell Gorge not to yell after 12? He had been being too loud you know.'

And I shut the door. 

Amanda was standing there with a smile on her face.

'Why are you always so up with mocking Mrs. Gomez?'

'Hey I don't mock her okay! She has an extraordinary talent to sneak around. And her asshole son once offered me to show his dick's power. So if I do mock her then I'm very glad to do this okay!'

She withdrew her hand giving in, 'oops! Sorry! Delicate string.'

I walked to the sofa. She came behind me.

'What's your planning to spend the Christmas?'

I was busy in sorting out the clothes, magazines and plates and other rubbish things to make room for her to sit. So when I didn't answer she sat on the sofa and dragged me beside her.

'What? Are you kind of angry with me or anything?'

'Hell! Why should I be angry with you? No, I'm not.'

'You are giving me enough clues to think so.'

'You can think if you wish. But I'm really not angry.' I stopped for a while and pushed my luck a bit,' but you can say I'm little bit disappointed because you didn't return from the dance floor.'

'Well, I did. And when I did you were not anywhere in sight.'

I was caught so I decided to keep silence.

She looked at the cabinet and found the D.V.D cover and laughed out, 

'Are you fucking kidding me? You were watching La Miserable? You're such a pathetic Izzie!'

'Stop mocking me!' I snatched the cover from her hand. I was too happy to have her though.

'I've brought your favourite wine. Want to taste?' 

'Absolutely!'

As she went to bring the wine I just watched her. The way she was making herself home as if she belonged here, with me. I looked at her felt amazing. I realised why I wasn't happy, neither in the crowd nor in my loneliness. Because I wanted to feel content, feel like being taken care of. And something more. That was exactly something I feel with her. 

Why was she affecting so much? Why was I so much jealous when I watched her dancing with that Jake? Why her cute dimple on cheeks ignited some peculiar fire all over my body? Why did I want her so much? 

'Here' suddenly I was torn from my musings.

'Thank you.'

She sat beside me with her legs flat on the sofa, folded at knees. The black skirt had ended just an inch before her knee. The contrast made me shudder again. She kept her first button of white blouse open. The fine darkness of her generous cleavage was pulling me towards them in an unavoidable lust. I drained full glass of wine to hold my fucking horses.

She wasn't talking though. She was looking at me in a peculiar gaze. Time to time she was taking sips from her glass and was moaning to give the vibes that she was enjoying the wine. My glass was empty but I was unable to break the spell.

I had to say something. So I asked what I decided to ask at first when I saw her at my door.

'Why did you come here? You have friends out there, they must be waiting.'

She snapped back, 'why did you leave yesterday? You had friends waiting for you too.'

My cheeks burnt with both lust and rage. I looked away.

'I just don't like people get hit on.'

She smiled in sarcasm,' well, you must not visit any bar then. It's exactly the place where people get hit on.'

I sat there silent.

After a while it was her turn to break the silence.

'Why don't you accept what you feel?' My eyebrows got arched up as she said,' I really like you Izzie; I liked the way you treated me when you could have done anything.'

She looked at me completely making sure she was meaning every word. It was now unavoidable. The urge, the lust to kiss her was making me insane. And now after her declaration I would prefer be an insane but after kissing her.

I leaned in towards her saying, 'Then I was a coward that I didn't' as soon as I finished the last word her lips were on mine.

It felt like homecoming. The familiar scent of her embraced me and her velvety soft lips were just the same how it felt like first time.

'Oh I missed you Izzie!' she moaned on my lips.

'I missed you too sweetie.' 

'Stop talking and kiss me.' I smiled at her impatience, but kissed her anyway.

I took her both of the lips into my mouth and sucked them. I wanted to engrave the memory of their touch into my mind. I wanted to memorise every ups and downs and smoothness and exotic taste of them. And I did. I danced my tongue over them until we both were in surge need of air. 

I pulled back and looked and her eyes. She was offering something I never felt. Still it was familiar too. As if I had forgotten to read that signal. And that was not from the first time, but from most past.

She took my face into her palm and kissed me again. Her tongue wanted the permission and I gave her more than gladly.

Oh! I can't explain how it felt like. The way she squirmed around every corner of my mouth I melted away. I pushed her towards the hand rest of the sofa and she leaned behind never breaking our kiss. 

Once reached to the cushion she took one of my hands and placed them on her softest globes. I almost died at the touch. They were way too softer than mine yet firm at the core. Instinctively I pressed them further and a low grunt proved her enjoyment.

'Oh I wanted to touch them since I first laid my eyes on.'

I said duelling with her tongue.

I reached for her buttons while she grabbed the end of my tank top. With in a second her buttons were undone and I was stripped off from my clothes. 

'They are so beautiful!' she exclaimed attacking my smaller ones with her mouth.

As soon as she placed her mouth on my one breast I felt my belly muscles were tightening. I knew I was never going to last long. 

She nibbled on them, using her tongue and teeth. But she avoided the centre, my nipples.

'Oh suck them you brat!'

She smiled but avoided for a while. I had nothing else to do. I pulled her head to my earnings and now she gladly sucked. 

Just the moment she used her teeth to tease me further I feared to cum already. So I torn her head from my breasts and captured them in my mouth.

I kissed her neck and shoulder blade as I disclosed her from her blouse. I pulled her to mine and then I placed my knee just between her legs. So when I pushed her further on the sofa my knee did the exact effect I wanted to create on her. She jerked at the pressure and moaned a little. Meanwhile her bra was undone. As I placed her lovingly on cushion, for the first time I saw her breasts. 

They were a bit large for my hand but fitted perfectly. The soft texture of her skin around her nipple, the hardness of them, the soft, almost see through skin and underneath the web of blue veins- they seemed dream to me. The mesmerising sight in front of me was so overwhelming that I forgot to do anything further. 

'You like them?' Amanda asked almost in whisper, somewhat in doubt.

'I love them sweetie.' I started kissing from the collar bone and then came downward, slowly exploring every inch of this girl.  

I sucked, licked, nibbled, bit on her creamy white skin as she kept moaning louder and louder. I fumbled with both the nipples and she almost came. But I withdrew my mouth and whispered her while kissing, 'if you come, I want to watch you.'

She stared at me with a sudden flush of desire in her eyes, and kissed me with new passion. I tore back and asked,

'Is that okay? Can I make love to you?'

'Of course sweetheart.'

'But I never did to anyone. What if you're not satisfied?'

She opened her mouth to say something but didn't. Instead she tucked the hairs that fell on my forehead and almost in a very affectionate way she cupped my face and said,' I'll be. Believe me. I've longed for it so long. Love me baby. Make me come.'