10 comments/ 10479 views/ 0 favorites The Adventures of Nebel and Tolk By: Penelope Street December 25. Just after Dawn. Somewhere in the Alps. Tollkühn ran his fingers through the pink fur of his cheeks and shivered, but not because he was cold- quite the opposite. With a sigh, he wiggled his bum into the snowbank. A smile spread across his pale face as he felt the chill creep into his body. "Tolk! Tolk!" The elf opened one of his eyelids just wide enough to display a roaming red orb. He caught a glimpse of another elfish face, an icy blue one, and knew at once who it was. "What is it, Nebel?" he asked, clamping his eye closed. "And why can't it wait?" Nebelhaft stopped beside his brethren and panted for several seconds until he'd regained enough oxygen to speak. "I found a present. They left one behind." Tollkühn laughed. "Don't think you're fooling me with that; that's the second oldest one in the book." He clasped his hands behind his head and settled back into the snow. "I'm not moving from this spot until Beltane." "I did too find one! Look!" Both of Tollkühn's eyelids sprang wide. His focus leapt to the brightly wrapped package in the other elf's hands. An instant later he was on his feet. "Where did you find that?!" "Chute 148877." "And what were you doing there?" "Just checking to see if they'd missed any." "Oh?" Tollkühn's bushy pink brow dropped so low he peered between the hairs. "You just happened to be checking chute 148877 for a missing present and you just happened to find one? Yeah. Right! Nice fake present though. Go try it on Eikopf. He'll likely fall for it." "I did find it!" Nebelhaft insisted. "Look for yourself. It's got an address stamp." With a sigh, Tollkühn snatched the package from the blue elf. Holding the box so that the light of the sun reflected off of the colorful wrapping, he blew his frosty breath upon the paper. At once, silver lettering appeared: Anne Bradford 2809 Park Lake Boulevard Apartment #302 Dallas, Texas "It is real!" Tollkühn gasped, dropping the box like a hot potato. "I told you!" "Dumpfbacke!" the pink elf said, looking back to his comrade. "Why didn't you just leave it there?" "Because Anne wouldn't get her present!" "Remember what happened to the last elf that found a forgotten gift?" Nebelhaft's nose twitched. "Yes. I remember." He sniffled twice. "But Anne should still get her present." Tollkühn's eyes wandered from the other elf, down to the package, and back to the other elf. "I suppose you're right. There's nothing to do but take it to the old lady." He paused to sigh. "Then there's gonna be a big investigation and someone's gonna get sent to Tahiti for it. You watch." "But Anne will have her present." "Yeah," Tollkühn began with a sigh. He reached down and picked up the box. "You're right. Let's go." "Wait," Nebelhaft said. "If we deliver it, no one will get in trouble with the big guy and then no one will be mad at me for finding it." "And how do you propose we get to Texas, wherever that is?" "A reindeer, of course." "Hello? They're all out just now." "Not all," Nebelhaft insisted. "The reserves are still here." "Oh yeah. I'm sure one of them will risk his chance to be on a team to help us take one gift to one spoiled brat!" "What about one of the old ones with nothing to lose?" "Old brats?" "No," Nebelhaft said. "Old reindeer." "There's a reason they have nothing to lose; they can't fly anymore!" "Some can; they just can't pull a sleigh. But we're just two elves and one present. Surely one of them can carry us." "Oh, so now we're going to bring someone else into the plot?" "We have to!" Nebelhaft said. "We'll be back in a couple hours, way ahead of the teams. No one will miss us." Tollkühn closed his eyes and shook his head. "We're both going to end up in Tahiti for this. You watch." * * * Nebelhaft looked up at the numbers of the door. "This is it!" Tollkühn's eyes were directed upward as well, but at the doorknob instead of the address. "Yeah," he said, turning his eyes to the blue elf. "We're here. Three hours late but we're here." "You're the one that insisted we ask Schneekugel!" "He brought us, didn't he?" "Via Tibet!" Nebelhaft recalled. "Texas and Tibet look a lot alike." "They do not!" "They sound alike." Nebelhaft smirked. "He was lost." "Well," Tollkühn said, "I guess we know why he's retired, don't we?" "Doesn't matter anyway. We're here. Let's get this thing delivered and go home." Nebelhaft looked back to the door and sighed. "Yeah. But how?" The pink elf glanced down the apartment corridor at the other closed doors and shrugged. "I never gave a thought to how the teams get in." "I suppose we could just wait until someone opens it?" Tollkühn smirked. "Dumpfbacke! We just spent an hour waiting for someone to open the last door. And no one's likely to open this one until morning." "What if we ring the bell?" "Ding dong, Santa calling? Yeah, that'll be good!" "You have a better idea?" Tollkühn twitched his lips as he again looked upward to the knob. "Let's figure out if we can reach the handle first. Who knows, maybe it's not locked." "What if you get on my shoulders?" "Still not enough. We'll have to get on top of the box." "What if we smash her toy?" Nebelhaft asked. "Then we'll make her another one. We're elves, remember?" Nebelhaft grinned. "Oh yeah. Ok. Let's do it." "Me first," Tollkühn said. "You weigh less." With that, he scrambled atop the box, squatted, and then motioned for the blue elf to climb upon his shoulders. "Steady," Nebelhaft said as his companion stood, hoisting him toward the knob. "You're the one that's wiggling," Tollkühn insisted. "I'm just trying to keep my.... Oh, got it!" "Does it turn?" Nebelhaft shook his head. "No. It's locked." "You tried to turn it both ways?" "Of course!" "I just asked. You don't have to get snarky about it." "No!" Nebelhaft said. "You want a key to the door right?" Tollkühn rolled his beady red orbs. "Of course!" "Now who's being snarky?" "Who cares? What about the key?" "Oh yeah, well, I haven't made a gift for you this year, have I?" Tollkühn's eyes wandered from side to side above his twitching lips. "I don't think so." "One gift coming right up! Hold out your hand." Nebelhaft cupped his palms and blew his frosty breath into the valley created by his furry mitts. Silver snowflakes erupted. Coming together as they floated downward, the flakes formed a key in the hairy pink palm below. Nebelhaft beamed. "Sorry I didn't have time to wrap it." "Yeah, yeah, very clever," Tollkühn said, lifting the key upward to his companion. "Just open the door." A dozen seconds later, the elves carried the package inside. "See," Nebelhaft said. "That wasn't so hard." "You can brag later. For now lets..." "Who's there?" The elves turned to look down the corridor, just as Mr. Bradford turned on the hallway light. "Whew," Nebelhaft said. "It's a grown up." "Now who left that open?" Mr. Bradford grumbled, scratching his head. The two wide-eyed elves but watched as the man walked toward them. With a brief glance into the exterior corridor, he shut and latched the door. Nebelhaft's throat flexed through a swallow. "Great. Now what?" "Relax," Tollkühn said. "As soon as he's gone, we'll put the gift under the tree, then I'll make a ladder for you so we can reach the knob and we'll be out of here." "Look, Daddy. Elves!" Both elf heads snapped toward the source of the sound, a smiling girl. "Scheisse," Tollkühn muttered. "It's a child," Nebelhaft gasped, dropping the package. "I can see that," Tollkühn said. "This way." He grabbed his comrade's palm and led him into the kitchen, breaking eye contact with the girl. "Did you leave the door open?" Mr. Bradford demanded. "Elves opened it, Daddy!" the girl squealed. "Dincha see them?" "She might come in here too," Tollkühn noted. "Quick, follow me." With that, he scrambled up to the counter-top using the drawer handles like ladder rungs. "Elves, huh," Mr. Bradford growled. "What are you doing up?" "I couldn't sleep," the girl replied. "I was too excited." "I'm gonna give your little ass something to be excited about." "Not on Christmas Eve you're not!" "Who's that?" Nebelhaft wondered. "Must be the mother," Tollkühn replied. His eyes turned to the dining table. "Look. If we jump there, maybe we can see." "You know the rules," Mr. Bradford said. "Two swats for lying." "And what did she lie about?" "She left the front door wide open and blamed it on elves." The elves landed atop the table and turned just in time to see Mrs. Bradford put her hands to her hips. "She's just playing," the woman insisted. "That's not the same as lying." "Oh yeah?" The man turned and pointed to the box near the front door. "And look what she's playing with?" He looked to his daughter. "No wait; I bet the elves did that too." "They did!" Anne insisted. "Can't ya see them?" She pointed and ran toward the table. "Right there." Mr. Bradford looked to the table, then back to his daughter. "Right there, are they? Pray tell, what do they look like?" "One is a pretty blue like the sky and the other looks like a furry pencil eraser." "Alright young lady," Mr. Bradford said, grabbing the child by the wrist. "That's about enough of your lies." "No," Anne whined. "I'm not lying!" Tollkühn's eyes narrowed to slits. "What a Mkundu!" "Oh," Nebelhaft gasped as the family squabble continued. "We've made quite a mess of it, haven't we?" "No." Tollkühn hissed. "We aren't the problem here." "What do you mean?" "Whatever's in that box, I'm sure it's not what Anne really wants for Christmas." Nebelhaft looked back through the kitchen to the package on the floor. "Of course it is," he said. "The list makers are most meticulous. Why the last... What are you doing?" Tollkühn leapt from the table to the top of a chair and onto the back of the sofa. "Maybe she's just too tired to tell the difference?" Mrs. Bradford suggested. "Well then," the man said, sitting on the couch and dragging the child toward him. "Two swats should wake her up, don't you think?" "But I'm not lying!" Anne insisted in between tears. "There's an elf right behind you on the back of the couch." "That'll be about enough of your lies. I don't care if it is..." The man's head swayed. His eyes bulged, then blinked. His scowl disappeared. "What did you say?" "There's an elf behind you on the couch," the girl said, pointing. "He just blew some snow into your hair." The man released his daughter and patted her on the head. "Of course he did, my little darling. But it's still not polite to point; you know that." He stood and walked toward the front door. "I'll just put the gift back under the tree and get back to bed. You have fun with the elves." Anne and her mother both gaped while the man place the present beneath the tree and then disappeared down the corridor. Mrs. Bradford looked to her daughter and shrugged. "Have fun with the elves." With that, she turned and followed her husband. "Thanks, Mommy! Thanks, Daddy!" The little girl turned toward the pink elf with a wide smile across her face. "What have you done?" gasped Nebelhaft. Ignoring the question Tollkühn scurried along the back of the sofa in the direction of the table. Anne leapt onto the cushions of the couch in hot pursuit. "Wait! I just wanna play!" Tollkühn ignored her plea as well, leaping for the table. He landed short, grunting as his abdomen struck the edge. His pink furry feet fluttered in the air. In a flash, Nebelhaft pulled his friend onto the table. "What now," he asked, backing away from the table's edge. The two elves watched as the back of a chair moved away from the table. Two seconds later, Anne's smiling face appeared over the rim. "This way!" Tollkühn said. He jumped past the girl onto hardwood floor of the living room and scurried between the couch and the wall. Nebelhaft followed a half-second later. "That was close." "It still is," Tollkühn insisted, pulling his friend from beyond the reach of Anne's groping fingers. "Why won't you play with me?" the girl asked as she tried to squeeze into the gap. "Nobody ever wants to play with me." For a moment, she grimaced and grunted, then the couch shifted just enough to allow her shoulders between the back and the wall. "She's stronger than she looks," Nebelhaft said. "Quick," Tollkühn replied. "Underneath." One of Anne's eyes appeared in the crease between the couch and the floor. Her hand followed, forcing the elves out the other side. The pair scurried down the short corridor until they stood before the open washroom door. Looking left and right, Tollkühn saw a pair of identical doors, each open just a crack. "Which way?" he wondered aloud. As if in answer, Mr. Bradford's whispered voice greeted them from the door on the right. "I've got a special present for you, Honey." "Oh, Fred. Oh! Fred! You haven't done this since... Oh my, what's come over you?" Nebelhaft's bushy brow shrouded his eyes. "What did you do to him?" "Tell you later. Come on." Tollkühn pushed through the opposite door into the bedroom beyond. From the glow of the nightlight, he could make out scattered clothes and toys upon the floor. "Under the bed," Nebelhaft suggested, rushing that direction. Tollkühn followed even as he protested, "What good will that do? It's even higher than the couch." "Where else is there?" Nebelhaft asked as he slid to a stop on the waxed wood. "I don't know," Tollkühn admitted, crawling to join his comrade beneath the bed. "How long did I tell Schneekugel to wait for us?" "Until first light." Tollkühn sighed. "That's what I was afraid of." "Shush," Nebelhaft whispered. "What?" "Listen," the blue elf insisted with his ear to the floor. Tollkühn pressed his ear to the wood. For a second he heard but his own breathing; then a sobbing reached his ear. The next instant bright light bathed the room. Blinking, the elves leapt to their knees. "I know you're in here, little elves. Come out come out wherever you are." "Now what?" Nebelhaft asked. "How should I know? Getting under the bed was your idea!" The child's face appeared beneath the lower edge of the mattress. "There you are!" "Maybe we should run into the parent's room," Nebelhaft said. "Oh yeah," Tollkühn snorted. "That's something everything little girl needs to see!" "Well, what are we going to do?" "You're the one that looks pretty like the sky. You play with her." "You elves sure talk funny." "I forgot she can hear us too," Nebelhaft whispered. "Yeah. She can," Tollkühn noted with a smile. "Maybe we should just talk to her?" "That's against the rules." Tollkühn rolled his eyes. "One of the three rules we haven't broken already tonight?" With a sigh, he turned to the girl and said, in English, "We can't play with you this evening. We've more presents to deliver and we're already late." Anne's lips formed a puckered pout. "Just for a little while?" "We'd love to play," Tollkühn said. "But Santa is waiting. Do you want other little girls to not get their presents because we were playing with you?" Anne shook her head. "That's why we need you to let us out the door." With a sniffle, the girl nodded. "Ok. C'mon." "It worked," Nebelhaft gasped. "Of course it did," Tollkühn said, crawling from beneath the bed. "She's a girl, not a demon." "The way you were running from her, I wondered." Anne glanced back as she took her first step toward the exit. "Why do you elves talk funny like that?" "Our language is a combination of German and Swahili," Tollkühn replied. "There's a long story behind it, how the old lady and the big guy got together, but it would probably bore you." "Maybe you can come back and tell me when you're done with helping Santa?" "Sure." A broad smile spread across the girl's face. "Maybe we can all play with my presents together? I don't have a sister to play with, you know. I always wanted a sister." "Yeah," Tollkühn said. "We can do that too." Anne unlatched the door and pulled it open. "Hurry back." Tollkühn marched through the opening into the apartment corridor. "Yeah, we will," he called without looking back. "Bye." Instead of following, Nebelhaft stopped in the doorway and looked up to the child. "Will you help us deliver our next present?" Tollkühn's eyes bulged as he spun. "Affenschwanz! What are you doing?" Anne looked down the corridor toward her parents then back to the elves. "But I'm not allowed to go out by myself." "We are just going downstairs," Nebelhaft said. "So you won't be going out by yourself." "Downstairs?" Anne and Tollkühn asked in unison. "Yes," said Nebelhaft, his eyes still on the girl. "I believe there is a woman living below you?" "Ellen?" asked Anne. "Uh, yeah. Ellen." Anne smiled. "She's real nice. She doesn't complain about me making too much sounds like them other peoples did." Nebelhaft smiled. "So you'll help us?" Anne beamed. "This is gonna be the bestest Christmas ever!" * * * "She's not crying," Tollkühn said as he looked down upon the slumbering woman. "No," Nebelhaft agreed, "but she does sound like she's in pain." Tollkühn's bushy pink brow dropped. "I don't think so. Let's listen." He knelt beside the woman's head and brought his ear to her temple. Nebelhaft jumped the other side of Ellen's head and did the same. At once his eyes widened. "Oh. Wow," he muttered. "You were right. It's not pain." "Yeah," Tollkühn said through a grin. "She's a naughty one, isn't she?" Nebelhaft sat upright. "I don't think we should eavesdrop on this dream." Tollkühn's ear remained against the woman. "Why? How else are we going to know what she wants?" "You're just making excuses to be a pervert." With a sigh Tollkühn sat upright. "Don't even! You're the one that figured out how to get the satellite feeds for that British channel." "I just wanted to know what it's like." "What what's like?" "Having genitals," Nebelhaft replied. "You've never wondered?" Tollkühn shook his head. "Never even thought about it." Ellen emitted a soft moan. Nebelhaft's eyes drifted to her. "They always look like they're having such fun," he said. "You never wanted to have genitals, not even for a moment?" "Who'd want something that overrides your brain like that?" The blue elf nodded his agreement. "I guess so. Still, which would you want to be?" "Huh?" "A man or a woman?" "Woman," said Tollkühn. "You said you hadn't thought about it!" "I haven't." "Then why'd you answer so fast?" Nebelhaft asked. "Because it's easy." "Yeah?" "Sure," said Tollkühn. "Wet your finger and stick it in your ear." With his brows low, Nebelhaft brought his index finger to his tongue, then to his ear. "Ok?" "Which feels more," Tollkühn said, "your ear or your finger?" Nebelhaft withdrew his finger and looked at it. "My ear." Tollkühn shrugged. "Well, there you go." "I don't think it's that simple!" "Sure it is," Tollkühn said with a laugh. "Bet it feels just like that. Pretty boring if you ask me." Nebelhaft turned his eyes back to Ellen as she moaned. "She doesn't think it's boring." "I agree. Let's make her a vibrator and go home." Nebelhaft rolled his eyes and shook his head. "She's dreaming about a man, not a toy." The Adventures of Nebel and Tolk "Too bad we can't make men." Nebelhaft plopped down on the mattress and crossed his arms. "I'm not leaving until I know what she wants." With a sigh Tollkühn closed his eyes and shook his head. When his eyelids lifted, a smile covered his face. He looked about the room, then dashed to the nightstand where he grasped the television remote. "What are you doing?" Nebelhaft queried. Tollkühn ignored the question and pointed the control at the television. With a snap the picture tube brightened. The drone of an infomercial filled the room, increasing in volume every moment. "You're going to wake her!" Nebelhaft protested. "That's the idea. I'm not waiting until dawn to find out what she wants." With a grunt, Ellen's eyelids fluttered. Her hand lunged for the nightstand where her slapping palm found the remote less than a second after the elf had dropped it. Closing her eyes, she aimed it and turned the television off. She yawned, then smacked her smiling lips. Rolling upon her back, she dropped the remote and slid her hand beneath the blankets and then between her thighs as well. A smile formed on her face as her fingers petted herself through the wool of her jammies. "Too bad it had to be a dream," she sighed. Her smiled widened. "If only I was skinny." Tollkühn smiled as well. "That's easy enough!" "No! Wait!" Nebelhaft cried, but it was too late. Ellen's eyes opened as her body shrank. For a moment, only her orbs moved, then her fingers departed her loins, pulling at the slack fabric of her pajamas. With a gasp, she released the cloth and rolled, sitting upright at the edge of the mattress. The tips of her fingers again prodded the loose cloth. "A dream within a dream?" she muttered. "What have you done?" Nebelhaft asked. "That's what she wanted?" Tollkühn said. "Now let's go." He bounded across the mattress toward the footboard. Instead of following, Nebelhaft walked to the side of the bed and looked upward into Ellen's blanched face. "I'm not leaving," he announced, his eyes still on the woman. Tollkühn spun and scowled. "Hey. You're the one wanted to stop her crying, didn't you? Well, she's stopped. Let's go." "I'm not sure that's really what she wanted." "That's what she said she wanted." "She didn't say exactly that," Nebelhaft recalled. "Close enough!" "How many times..." Ellen stood and headed toward the doorway, taking two pair of elfish eyes with her. Her pajama bottoms slid down her legs as she walked and she stepped right out of them without seeming to notice. Entering the washroom, she flipped on the light and turned each cheek to the mirror before bringing her hands to the flesh of her thighs, confirming the novel firmness of the feel. "Impossible," she murmured. Her fingers jumped to her bosom, which she petted through the fabric. With a swallow, she moved her fingers to the seam of her baggy pajamas, but she was shaking too much to work the buttons. Closing her eyes, she grasped the edge and ripped. Buttons ricocheted off the mirror, tiles, and walls. Air left Ellen's lungs en masse as she beheld the sight in the mirror. She closed and opened her eyes three times. Nothing changed. Ellen's exposed breasts rose and fell twice in succession before she brought her fingers to her taut tummy, petting up and down the length of the unfamiliar cleft down the center. Without a word, she rushed from the washroom and darted about her apartment, confirming everything was as she remembered it. Everything except her. Back at the mirror, she gave her body another look before cupping her forehead in her palm. With a shrug, she then opened her medicine cabinet and reached for the aspirin. "I don't think she's happy," Nebelhaft said. Tollkühn shrugged. "Sure she is. She's speechless with joy. Let's go." Nebelhaft shook his head. "You go. I'm gonna stay and make sure she's alright." "Schneekugel will be leaving within an hour!" "Fine. Go back with him. After this, Tahiti won't be good enough for you." "No kidding," said Tollkühn. "They'll probably send me to Texas." Nebelhaft grinned. "Then you may as well stay." Tollkühn's eyes drifted upward to the woman. With a sigh, he shook his head. "Alright. I'll stay. Let's go tell Schneekugel what's going on." "Good," Nebelhaft said with a smile. "And then we can go play with Anne." Tollkühn's jaw dropped. "What?" "You told her we'd come back and play with her after we were done with the gifts. We're done." "But I didn't... Look out!" Nebelhaft barely jumped out of the way as Ellen turned from the mirror and stomped back toward her bedroom. There she crawled back into bed and curled up in her blankets, but the warmth didn't stop her from shivering herself back to sleep. * * * With a sigh Ellen sat upright in her bed and stretched. Rolling as she spun, she sat on the edge of the mattress and trained her gaze toward the amorphous beige carpet. For a few seconds, she was too busy lamenting another lonely Yuletide to notice her legs, or to remember what she still thought to be a dream. When her attention at last landed on her thighs, her eyes sprang wide. She shook her head and looked again, but nothing had changed. Her eyes drifted with her fingers upward from her legs to her tummy to her breasts. She gasped upon touching the bottom of her bosom, pulling her fingers away as if her body was afire. "It's not a dream," she mumbled. "Is it?" She rushed back to the washroom mirror where the same svelte reflection greeted her. "How do I know?" she wondered in a whisper. "Is it true, or am I crazy?" Her eyes fell, taking her gaze with them; though during the minute or two she stared she never truly saw the washroom mat below her feet. At last, her head moved in a slow bob. Her feet moved as well, taking her to the nightstand and her cell phone. Several button-pushes later, she brought the device to her ear and begged the ringing to stop. "Ellen?" "Hi, Beth. Did I wake you?" "Almost." Ellen swallowed. "I need to see you," she said as she wandered into the hallway. "To show you something." "Today?" "Just for a little while?" "It's Christmas morning! "I know." There was a pause. "Are you ok?" "I don't know." Another pause. "Are you depressed?" "Maybe," Ellen said, her eyes roaming her sparse living room. "I'm not sure. Or maybe I can come see you?" "Yeah. Do that. But don't knock. I'll look for your car. I'd like to enjoy the adult part of Christmas, you know?" Ellen smiled. "I know." "Ok. But hurry." "I will. See ya." "See ya." With a sigh, Ellen folded her phone closed. She was about to head back down the hallway to dress when her gaze landed upon a chair adjacent to the front door. Her head leaned to one side. "When did I put that there?" * * * A quarter hour later a different door opened revealing Bethany's wide eyes and stark white face. "Ellen?" The slender brunette on the porch nodded. "But," Beth stammered, "how?" Ellen smiled. "Am I really skinny?" "I'll say. What'd you do, liposuction?" Ellen shook her head. "Nothing." "What? Are you going to tell me you did this in a week with diet and exercise?" "But I really didn't do anything." "Look," Beth said. "There's no shame in surgery. You should have told me." Ellen scowled. "If I had surgery, I'd have scars, right?" Beth nodded. "I suppose." With a glance about the neighboring lawns and windows, Ellen looked back to her friend and pulled the lower edge of her sweatshirt to the bottom of her bosom. Beth's jaw dropped. "Wow." She stood aside and motioned with her head. "Get in here." Ellen obliged. "Show me again," Beth insisted as she closed the door. Ellen again uncovered her midsection. Beth flipped on the foyer lights, then stooped to examine her friend's abdomen. "I've watched some of those plastic surgery shows, but I thought recovery took more than a week." "I told you," Ellen insisted. "I didn't have surgery." Beth's eyes became slits. "Lauren! I didn't even know you were in town." "What?" "You and your sister have some nerve," Beth hissed. "This isn't even funny, especially on Christmas!" "But I am skinny?" Ellen asked. "You've always been skinny!" Beth said, opening the front door. "Now get out. I've a family, you know?! You should have saved this sort of joke for April." Ellen walked through the doorway and turned. "You're right. It was a bad joke." "I'm not the least bit amused." "I'm sorry," Ellen said, but the door was already closed. With a sigh, she retreated to her car, got inside, and just stared at the road. After several seconds her focus shifted to the white-knuckled grip she had on the steering wheel. With yet another swallow, she pried her hands from the wheel and turned her palms to her face. "I wonder if my fingerprints are still the same," she whispered. * * * Nebelhaft's eyes followed an empty Ben & Jerry's pint carton into the wastecan adjacent to Ellen's bed. He shook his head and looked to his companion. "This isn't going well." "No kidding," Tollkühn said with a scowl. "That's two Strawberry Cheesecake and one Chunky Monkey. What was the point of making her skinny if she's just going to get fat again?" "Not that! She isn't happy." Tollkühn turned his red eyes to the woman curled beneath the blankets. "How do you know? All she's done all day is eat ice cream and watch the romance channel. Isn't that what women live to do?" "That's not all. She cried. A lot." "Isn't that why women watch the romance channel? They must like it." Nebelhaft closed his eyes and sighed. "You don't get it, do you?" Tollkühn gaped and spread his open palms toward the ceiling. "Hey! We gave her what she wanted. That's all we can do." "Fine," Nebelhaft said, glancing to the clock. "Schneekugel's probably here by now. Why don't you just go?" With that he jumped up and scampered across the mattress. "And where are you going?" Tollkühn asked as he scrambled after his friend. "I'm gonna go back and play with Anne before her bedtime." "Again?!" "I said I'd come back." Nebelhaft turned and climbed down the blankets toward the floor. Tollkühn put his hands to his hips. "So quit saying that!" Nebelhaft looked up. "Tell me playing tea party with Anne was worse than watching television all afternoon with Ellen?" Tollkühn sighed and began to climb down. "I guess it wasn't," he admitted upon reaching the floor. "But you think she coulda wished for a cool toy. What little girl wishes for a tea set in this day and age?" Nebelhaft's eyelids fluttered, but a tear emerged anyway, sliding out to cling to the fur of his cheek. "A darling little girl who just wants a friend." The pink elf's head moved in a slow nod. "Or two." * * * Ellen's eyes roamed the grey of her ceiling in the few seconds before she dared turn them to herself. She still hadn't decided what she wanted to see before she beheld her new skinny form in all its glory. She rushed to the bathroom and confirmed the dream, if it was one, hadn't ended yet. "Ok," she whispered through a grin. "Guess I better make the best of it. Little black dress, here I come." * * * That night, with a man she hadn't known at sunrise snoring beside her, Ellen began to weep. Tollkühn shook his head. "What's she bawling about now?" "He's not what she wanted," Nebelhaft said. "Not even close." "What's wrong with him? He looks just like the guys in the catalogs." Even in the dark, Nebelhaft's eyes sparkled as they glared. "You don't get it, do you?" "No," Tollkühn said. "She wanted to be skinny. We made her skinny and she cried. She dreams about copulating with a hunk. Then she copulates with a hunk and cries some more." "Maybe sex feels a lot different than just putting you finger in your ear." "Maybe she's gonna cry no matter what we do." Nebelhaft shook his head. "You're wrong." "Hey," the pink elf began, "we gave her what she wanted. If she's not happy with it, that's her problem. We should just go home. Schneekugel said he's not coming back again." "No," Nebelhaft snapped. "What she wants is a man to love or not love who she is, not what she looks like." With that, he leapt from the dresser to the mattress. "What are you doing?" Tollkühn asked. "Fixing what you screwed up." Standing beside Ellen, Nebelhaft brought his cupped palms to his mouth. "Wait!" Tollkühn cried, but it was too late. * * * "Holy shit! What a case of beer goggles." Ellen's eyelids fluttered until her vision came to focus on the man dressing beyond the foot of her bed. "What'd you say?" His eyes widened as they turned toward Ellen. "I, uh," he began, bouncing into one of his socks, "it boggles the mind how time flies. I'm gonna be late for work." Ellen smirked. "You said last night you had the day off." "Did I?" "Yes." Her eyebrows bounced upward. "You bragged about it even. One of the many company perks." "Well," he said, shrugging even as he donned his shirt. "Musta slipped my mind." "Yeah," Ellen said with a nod. "Must have." She continued to watch as he scrambled into the rest of his clothing. Once dressed, the man stood. His eyes roamed the room several times before coming back to Ellen. "I'll, uh, call you?" Ellen closed her eyes and shook her head. "You don't even have my number you lying sack of shit. Just get out." The man's head began to move in a slow bob. "You're right. I don't know how this happened. I'm sorry." "I know how it happened," she snapped back. "Now leave!" He nodded. His lips and eyes both twitched. He managed a half-hearted wave and all but raced for the door. The man was barely out of sight before Ellen raced as well. Standing before her mirror, she ran her hands over her figure. "Beer goggles? What did he mean by that?" From the living room the steps of the departing man ceased with a crash. She looked toward the sound as a curse followed, then several more steps and the sound of the door opening and closing. With her head leaning to one side, Ellen made her way out of the washroom and down the corridor. There, near the front door, was a toppled chair. "The chair again," she muttered. "I must be losing it." She locked the door, then dragged the chair back to the kitchen table. There her eyes landed upon a piece of paper with a crayon atop it. "Had time for a classy good-bye note, did he?" she mused with a grin. Her smile faded as she read the large, printed letters: Dearest Ellen, I am most disappointed with the way you've used your special Christmas gift. If you continue in this manner I shall have to simply take it away. You must know some nice boys. Someone from work perhaps- or maybe the library? You won't find what you're looking for at night clubs. And no more copulating until you're married! Happy Christmas, Nicholas Klaus P.S. I've changed all your clothes so that they fit. You look fine in them. You don't need to buy any more sleazy outfits. Ellen's brow shrouded the upper rim of her eyes as she put the letter down. "Santa," she whispered, looking again at her body. "Could it really be?" * * * A half-flight up the stairwell, a pair of elves squinted from a window into the morning sun. "What makes you think that'll work?" asked Tollkühn. "She's fat again." Nebelhaft smiled. "Yes, but she thinks she's beautiful. That's all she ever needed." "You're sure." Nebelhaft's head moved in a slow bob. "I'm sure." Tollkühn shrugged. "I always thought she was beautiful." "Yeah. She is." "Now what?" Tollkühn sighed. "Schneekugel's long gone and we'd just get sent to Tahiti if we went back anyway, especially after you signed the old man's name." Nebelhaft shrugged. "We go play with Anne." "Until when? She grows up and can't see us?" "I think Anne will always be able to see us," Nebelhaft declared with a subtle grin, "but we really only need to stay for nine months." "Nine months! Do you know how hot it's going to be during..." Tollkühn's eyes widened. "Wait. Nine months? You didn't!" Nebelhaft's smiled broadened. "I did." THE END The Adventures of Nebel and Tolk Copyright 2005 by Penelope Street Posted with permission at Literotica.com All other rights reserved. Special thanks to Jessica and Rob for their editing assistance. This is a work of fiction. To the best of the author's knowledge, none of the events depicted ever occurred. All of the persons and non-persons portrayed are fictional characters. Their views, opinions, and experiences are invented as well and are not meant to promote anyone's personal beliefs or agenda.