1 comments/ 8090 views/ 0 favorites Stephen King Drives a Brown Jeep By: VanessaCarolyn She fought the sun that threatened to invade her sleep-deprived eyes with an exaggerated blink that crumpled half of her face. The alarm clock hadn't even gone off yet, she learned as she turned towards its' nuclear green numerals which also tried to coerce her into awakening. She had so much to do today. She had to stop by the Post Office and mail out some overdue bills. Not all of them though, she wasn't that caught up yet. She had to make it to the office sometime between ten and two so she could pick up her paycheck so the checks she mailed out wouldn't bounce. Then she had an appointment at four. Thomas called during dinner last night to tell her that he was in town. During dinner, that's a laugh. How dare anyone interrupt her Spaghetti-O's in front of the TV with Bob Vila? "Some things never change," Thomas chuckled. They quickly made arrangements and didn't spend much time on small talk. Alyssa thought her cousin wasn't flying up for her dad's wedding until this Friday? Well, this Friday or last Friday doesn't matter now. He was home. New Hampshire will always be his home. It didn't matter if he lived in California until he died; New Hampshire would always be his home. He told Alyssa she just wrote the wrong date on the calendar. Still, if Thomas was in town a week ago she wished she had known before now. Thomas said there was big news. Alyssa wondered if he and his wife were pregnant? She wondered if Thomas made Partner at the Agency? It seemed she would know soon enough. They're meeting for lunch today. Thomas told her to be ready for ten. "I have a car now, you know." Alyssa rolled her eyes, not that she thought he could see, and sighed. "Finally? Great! But I'm still picking you up." There was something in his voice that she couldn't identify. It bothered her all night. It still did. It was a mix of relief, disappointment, and something else. She couldn't figure out that something else part. It somersaulted on the diving board in her mouth and continued to bug her. She looked on the counter for her planner. She had a lot to do today and needed to make sure she didn't forget anything. When she promised they'd do lunch when Thomas was in town, she thought she'd have at least twenty-four hours notice. Part of the perks to being family, she thought. Although she never told her cousin why she wanted to see him, there was a need to make up for telling him to fuck off and for begging to be left alone to her nervous breakdown back in February. She could see now that he was only trying to help, but help was the farthest thing from her mind. She just wanted to be alone. She just wanted to cry and crawl under the rock of her life and wither in its darkness. That was then. She'd come a long way since then. She was struggling to get out of debt but she finally had a steady job. She was still a little depressed but at least she was finally off the meds. Still, there was the thrice weekly counseling that was mandatory for a year after she checked out of the center. The doorbell rang and she realized that it was quarter of ten already. She fumbled with the lock and found her cousin on the other side. Thomas looked the way he did the last time Alyssa saw him. California was obviously treating him well. It was October and he still had the soft golden glow associated with someone who is always outside. The only thing different was that he now sported a neatly trimmed goatee. That couldn't be a surprise, she'd been telling him for years that he'd get more women if he just relaxed with the shaver a little bit. She continued to wonder what the surprise could be. They said their hellos and Alyssa apologized for not being ready. "I said I'd pick you up at ten because I knew you'd be late." Thomas quipped, looking at her bathrobe and stocking feet. "Yeah, well. Some things never change." Alyssa smiled. "We don't have to be there until eleven so you're lucky. But get moving," he nudged his way in and nodded in the direction of the bathroom. Be where? She thought. * * * The drive was passed in relative silence. As Thomas navigated his way back through the streets of his childhood, Alyssa felt a strangeness in the car that was similar to the strangeness in her cousin's voice the night before, still a quality she couldn't pinpoint. The street signs that they passed meant nothing to her. Especially since Darlene lived in Goffstown. They were going to the mall to window shop. Alyssa thought that maybe Thomas had errands that brought him into this part of Manchester. After making a left hand turn onto an almost hidden fork in the road, something did look familiar. The sign indicated they were on Donald Street. They slowed in front of a white and brown split-level ranch with a one-car garage. Alyssa recognized it immediately. What made Thomas want to drive to his childhood home? Thomas turned to Alyssa for the first time since leaving her house. "Surprise!" He beamed. "Huh?" She stared back at her cousin's amusement. "The big news." Thomas plucked his key from the ignition and leapt out of the car before Alyssa could even ask him what this had to do with the big news. He beckoned Alyssa to follow. What the hell, I know where I am at least. She stepped out of the car and followed him up the driveway through the open garage door although she didn't recognize the car parked inside. They passed through a basement mudroom and Alyssa found herself unable to continue. Feelings of déjà vu, panic, and dread attacked her body and turned her stomach sour. The walls are decorated by a motif identical to one she saw fifteen years ago. One she saw for what was thought to be the last time. The glossy white walls were the perfect canvases for the brightly colored and larger than life billiard balls, pool cues, and other game room accessories expertly painted in amazing detail. She dared to reach out and touch it's glossy surface to convince herself it was painted on and not a decal. In the corner was a Space Race pinball machine identical to the one that Alyssa had reached her highest score ever on at nine years old. Thomas turned around to see that Alyssa was still stuck in the doorway to the game room. It felt familiar for him to retrace his steps and take his younger cousin's hand. As they walked past the pinball machine, Alyssa was again halted. Pressing her finger on the left paddle button, feeling the cool chrome of the side of game top against the heel of her hand. The flashing orange LED screen right above the Plexiglas game top became a curious sight. It showed the current High Score, flashing and scrolling repeatedly. AMD 02/19/86 SPACE RACE MASTER 99,148,235,670. "Yes, your score is still the highest. Now let's get upstairs. Darlene is waiting." Thomas assumed the big brother role and half dragged her up the stairs. "Tommy, didn't your parent's ship it to Uruguay when they sold the house?" Her own voice sounded so far away she almost wasn't sure whether she was really speaking. "No they didn't, let's just go." He tightened his grip on her hand and continued to climb the stairs. At the top of the stairs, Alyssa rested on the top step for a moment to clear her head. She closed her eyes and opened them slowly. Thomas was talking to her but only his lips were moving. The sound of waves crashing filled her ears and she closed her eyes slowly once more. * * * Alyssa saw herself slinging her purse over her shoulder. She clomped walked across the basement. The wall opposite the pinball machine was different. She remembered there used to be a built in bookshelf in the corner. Now there was a door. She ran her hand along its smooth white finish. Maybe Darlene had a closet framed out during her renovations? I thought. But she knew she was making excuses. She touched the doorknob and felt a tingle engulf her hand. The tingle slowly moved up her arm and warmed her body. She started to feel light headed again but fainting would not be the result this time. Alyssa turned the knob slowly and found the door locked. She didn't really need to see what was in there anyway. After all, it was just a closet. She let the knob spring back into position and took a step back and glanced around the room to make sure no one was watching her act so fruity. A subtle click sounded and she turned back towards the door. It was open a crack. She didn't hear her cousin upstairs. They're probably still in the attic, she thought. For a moment she felt foolish, why in the world was she snooping in a closet? This is absurd, she thought. She turned back towards the stairs. Curiosity took over and she turned back towards the partially opened door. After still not hearing anything from upstairs she dared to explore the open door. She was holding her breath. The reason was still to be determined. She placed her hand on the doorknob once more, she first felt and then heard a faint hum coming from the closet. As she opened the door nothing could prepare her for what she saw. Nothing could prepare her for what she was about to experience. Instead of the predictable clothes hanging from a rod, or boxes stacked on top of each other, she saw a narrow, curved, concrete set of stairs that reminded her of a passage leading to a dungeon. Instead of flaming torches on the wall, she found a single, bare, blue light bulb jutting from a little niche on the right side of the curved wall. Alyssa was sure that one little peek wouldn't cause any trouble. Her cousin, whom she was supposed to be spending quality time with, was in the attic with his friend. Doing what, she neither had an idea nor cared. As she stepped into the stairwell, the door closed behind her but the blaring blue bulb was enough to light her way. A few steps from the bottom she saw what looked like a door except that there was no handle. She turned around and climbed the cool, smooth, concrete stairs, and found that the door that closed behind her had no handle on its reverse side. Rather than panic, she slowly descended the stairs and upon reaching the bottom step, the door in front of her clicked and opened with a slow hydraulic hiss. A high-ceilinged room with rows of fluorescent lights greeted her. Every surface within view was a dull, matte, industrial gray reminiscent of the painted cinderblock walls in an elementary school bathroom. She stepped out of the doorway to get a better look around and the door closed silently behind her. From this end, the whir of a generator or maybe the circulation system was all that she could hear. Reaching a hand back towards the door, she found it locked as the door upstairs was the first time. She released the handle and took a step back, expecting the door to release like last time. When it didn't Alyssa looked around for another way out. It seemed like she was in an underground garage of sorts. Thoughts of the secret lab from her childhood wandered to the forefront of her mind. She approached a door at the far end of the building with a bare red light bulb perched above it. Its bloodshot eye cast a threatening glare at all those who dared pass within its view. The lever turned easily when she applied pressure and opened, spilling the bright sun of high noon upon her unshielded eyes. She stepped out and looked around. She wasn't familiar with this part of the city. The door closed behind her with her purse strap caught on its inner handle. She tried to pull it free but the door was tightly sealed. "What is with the fuckin' doors around here?" Alyssa shouted at no one. Tugging on her purse in a futile show of strength she looked like she was having convulsions against the door. Not wanting to get caught for snooping, she just wanted to get back to the front of the house, sneak back through, get her purse. But first, she had to find some rocks to prop the doors open with. * * * Ok, where the hell's the car? Alyssa thought. It's been forever, why can't I find the car? She glanced at her watch and tilted her arm up to the light. The LCD display flashed 88:88. "This is a brand new watch." She growled beneath her breath. She walked a bit further trying to find a friendly face to approach for directions. She was starting to get a bad feeling. No one would acknowledge her. No one would even look her in the eye. She found an average-looking man sitting in his SUV reading the paper. She knew this wasn't the smartest thing she could do, approaching a vehicle, but it wasn't running so that was one positive in the situation. Still, she would take care to keep her distance. "Pardon me, sir?" Alyssa stood an arm length from the vehicle and waited patiently to be acknowledged. When he looked up, she fought off an attack of giddy girlish giggles. She disregarded it as imagination; she was not going to succumb to the fanatic tendencies people develop in those situations. "I'm looking to get back to Donald Street. I know I'm close, if you could just point me in the right direction? That would be just fine." "Donald Street?" The familiar stranger looked confused. "Yes. I was just at fifteen Donald Street a few minutes ago. I just need to get turned back to the right direction." "There's no Donald Street, that I know of, anywhere in Northdale. You're not from around here, are you?" "What do you mean? I grew up in Manchester. I used to know this city like the back of my hand. What do you mean Northdale?" The gentleman looked at Alyssa curiously before continuing. "Name's Steve. Get in, I'll help you clear this up." His hand was extended through the window; the newspaper he was reading was tossed onto the backseat. "Really, that's kind of you... umm... Steve, but I don't need a ride. Just directions'll be fine. I don't want to put you out." Alyssa took a step back from the SUV and looked around. If she needed to make a scene, it would help if there were people around to witness it. "Suit yourself. There is no Donald Street in Northdale. I have never heard of Manchester. That's all I can say. If you need more help, I'll be around." He reached for his paper off the back seat and returned to his reading. "Okay then. Thanks I guess." Alyssa walked off down the street, her watch still blinking 88:88. She turned to learn the details of the vehicle, just in case he turned out to be a nuisance later. The license plate was missing from the front bumper but she was able to discern that it was a brown Jeep Cherokee. She could certainly remember what the guy looked like. He looked like Stephen King for Pete's sake. Imagine, bumping to Stephen King. For real. She couldn't even imagine the possibility but she found herself irked by the fact that this imposter was obviously milking the resemblance. The clock on the nearby bank sign said 10:42am. How could that be? She had arrived, courtesy of Thomas, at Darlene's house at eleven am sharp. She should know better to think those signs were ever right. Still it would give her an idea as to how much time was passing. Tom and Dee are going to be so mad. I can't believe I'm locked out. I am so dead it's not even funny. She could feel the man at the newsstand looking at her. Every time she would turn to meet his eyes, he would turn away and continue fixing up his papers. She grabbed her sunglasses from her sweatshirt pocket and put them on. There was something unusual about this guy and she was damned if she would walk around oblivious. She had a bad feeling about this place. One that made the hair on her arms stand up and her stomach tighten. The sunglasses helped a bit and except for the blue-gray tint they cast on everything she could at least see the people that were staring behind her back. The man at the newsstand had unusual eyes. Even from a distance, they appeared red. If he would only step out of the shadows from his awning, she could see his face better. It was a moot point right now. She figured it was close to noontime. All she wanted to do was get back to her cousin and his friend and go for lunch. * * * Alyssa bumped into her friend "Steve" again when she neared what looked like a park. He was still reading the newspaper, still in his brown Jeep Cherokee, parked on the side of a different street. "Hi there, Alyssa." He called when she passed his Jeep. She was hoping he would let her pass in silence. "How do you know my name?" She shot back. She recklessly approached the Jeep, placed her elbows on the door before attempting her verbal attack. "I never told you my name. Who the hell are you?" "Come on, Lyss. You know who I am. I'm the only one who knows what's going on around here. Why don't you come for a ride? I'll explain everything. They already know you're here so it's just a matter of time." "What the hell are you talking about Steve? If that's your real name. Now you're just freaking me out. What the hell is going on here?" Alyssa pounded her fist on the edge of the window. "It'll be dark soon." He whispered "Just answer me and I'll be on my way." Alyssa crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her hips towards the jeep. "Get in the car. Now." The sternness in his voice made her drop her tough-girl act. She glanced at her watch out of reflex and found that it was still 88:88. Within moments, she noticed the sun tumbling from its apex to hover near the horizon. She looked through the window at the clock on the dash. She watched, as the digital numbers jumped ahead. First a minute, then an hour, then it read 5:45. Her day was becoming stranger by the moment. First a secret lab. Second, meeting Stephen King? Now, six hours pass in ten seconds! She crossed in front of the late model Jeep and opened the passenger door. There was a travel bag in the front seat. Steve pulled it aside and made room for her. His hand was already reaching for the key left patiently in the ignition, as if he had just been waiting for her with no other plans all day. Her anxiety slowly passed and disbelief moved in to take its place as he told her his story. * * * "Okay, now wait a minute." Alyssa interrupted. "You're telling me that this town is full of vampires?" "Lower your voice. This is serious. They are joining to discuss their plans for you." Steve whispered. "Who do I look like, Buffy the Vampire Slayer? This is whacked!" She scoffed. "No, but you'll have to do. I have a plan but I can't do it by myself. Now listen. Listen very carefully." Alyssa rolled her eyes and listened with disinterest. Until the details unfolded, she thought this was all a joke. Her back hurt. Her head was throbbing. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all this. "Oh yeah, so I just stepped into some kinda worm hole? Is that what you're telling me? This is bullshit. Do you really think I'm that stupid? Lemme just get this straight. I walked into a time warp that brought me to a town that's run by vampires. You say you have the recipe for a secret elixir that will end their rule but you need my help to deliver the fatal doses? What kinda fool do you take me for? I'm outta here." Alyssa reached for the handle to open the door when Steve pressed the door lock button on his armrest. She whipped her head in his direction and looked at him with an angry Elvis snarl. She toggled the lock on her door and released the latch. "You know, I used to try to get every one of your books I could get my hands on. I thought you were cool. Now I just think you're fucked up." Before Alyssa was able to move any further, the red-eyed man from the newsstand flung her door open. She shrieked and kicked her foot at him. He appeared unprepared that she would defend herself. Steve grabbed her with one arm around the shoulders and drove off, leaving a black skin on the pavement. "Alright, what do I have to do?" If the easiest way out of this nightmare was to cooperate, then so be it. Stephen King Drives a Brown Jeep Steve handed her a slip of paper folded into a triangle. It reminded her of the notes she used to pass back in class. She had certain folds for certain people. "This is the list. I already have everything; it just needs to be prepared. Now listen carefully. I need you to go to this address." He took her hand and wrote 333 Silver Street with a felt tip pen on her palm. "If they catch you, they must never find this address. It's the only safe place. They've been invited in everywhere else. Now I'll drop you over here." Steve pointed to the corner near where she had first met him. "Okay, did anyone think of trying a stake through the heart? I would think that would be the traditional means to an end." Alyssa realized how corny she sounded but it needed to be said. "No, stakes through the heart only work with Transylvanian vampires. These are bred right here. If you stab it through the heart, it multiplies. Like... um... Ever watch Gremlins as a kid? Put water on Gizmo and what happened? He sprouts siblings. Do not try to get them with a stake. They will literally split in two, and besides, it really pisses them off. But listen, this is the most important. You must cross the street every three houses. Only immortals can walk a straight path. Don't ask me why, I don't know. And you need to start on the left side of the street or you won't be able to make it there. Now listen..." This was happening all so quickly. Her entire day changed in a matter of minutes, all because of her curiosity. She listened like an apt pupil, struggling to memorize every left and right of the directions she was receiving. "Okay, one, two, three and cross. That's easy enough to remember. Don't make eye contact. What else? Oh yea, I'm supposed to start on the left. Don't invite anyone in. You'll show up when it's time. I got it already. Let's go kick some ass." Alyssa jumped out of the Jeep and began her search for 333 Silver Street. Once she found the building, there was a man outside who seemed to be waiting for her. From a distance, he looked like Newsstand Man. She kept her eyes lowered as she passed him and climbed the stairs. The door was unlocked. She went inside and found what she assumed was her workshop in a room on the second floor. There was a large box on a table, a desk light with a telescopic arm, and a series of test-tube pipettes and Bunsen burners. To the left, she found a small metal cabinet with glass doors containing tinted, liquid filled bottles, jars of powder, and various roots bundled neatly and hanging from the face of each shelf. She unfolded the paper from her pocket. She couldn't find names for any of the ingredients for this special elixir she was supposed to be concocting. Everything had a number, not a name. So much for being let in on the secret. It appeared that she was just being used for the grunt work. An outsider treated as slave labor. She looked at a note she found on the box upon the desk. "Disassemble contents. Use to deliver elixir." She opened the box that contained close to one thousand BIC pen skeletons. She raked her hand through the box and listened to the hollow click of one against another, against another. She picked one up. They were fine points. She twisted the tip off and found that the tube where ink was stored to be empty without a waxy stopper in the back end. "How the hell does he expect me to obliterate an entire race of Americanized vampires? Oh, please don't bite my neck. Write a letter with this instead. MacGuyver didn't have tits you asshole." Alyssa flung the pen over her shoulder where it bounced against the window, glanced off the windowsill, and clattered to the floor. Shortly thereafter, a clamoring coming from the same window startled her. She peeked through the fingers of the mini-blind and screamed. It was Newsstand Man outside the window. And she was on the second floor. Then she remembered what Steve told her and decided to try something. "Go away! You are not welcomed here! I did not inviting you here! Am-scray!" Newsstand Man suddenly plummeted to the ground, shrieking for the entire two-story drop only to fall silent in a crumpled heap on the front lawn. The incident rattled her but time was running out. She could see, after checking on the condition of her hovering snoop, the sun's last rays pinking the clouds as midnight fought to take over the sky. She measured and mixed, heated and injected the secret potion into its weapons of destruction. She heard a sound behind her that made her jump and squeeze the plunger to release the entire contents of the tube on to her foot. She turned around and found Steve stumbling in the door. She kicked the liquid off of her foot and snapped, "It's about damn time ya showed up. Figures I'm almost done. Do I look like MacGuyver to you? Christ, next you'll be telling me to use my gum to seal the tubes." "Actually," Steve panted. "I have a special polymer that will enhance the potion's. It's in the closet. Hey, your shoe..." Alyssa glanced down at her feet, and found the leather of her boot eaten away. "Dammit, Stephen. I got these Docs in England. They'll cost me $300 bucks to replace. You owe me big time!" "They'll do you no good when you're dead. We only have minutes. They're coming." As if by request, more of the same commotion ensued outside the windows of the lab. Alyssa stomped over and screamed until she was lightheaded, "I said get the fuck out of here!" Again, shrieks pierced the air followed by the sound of bodies hailing down on the defenseless grass. "Congratulations, you just bought yourself ten minutes." Steve smiled proudly; she ended up having more gumption that he anticipated. He knew his search was over. That this was the awakening of the old civilization. They plugged their homemade darts and delicately loaded them into two round magazines. The weapon they were designed for was a mystery to her but she had come to realize that someone knew what they were doing. That someone was not she. Steve dug in the closet where he had found the polymer and returned with two odd looking guns. He handed one to Alyssa and reached for one of the magazines to load his gun. "You expect me to shoot poison darts with a Tommy Gun? Are you daft?" She held the piece like a dead animal in her open palms with her arms straight out in front of her. "This is the only weapon with the capacity we need. If we run out of ammo before we run out of targets, we're up Shit's Creek and this was all for nothing. Keep that in mind. Now, let's go." He descended the stairs with Alyssa close behind. She had never fired a gun before and was nervous. Especially since it was intended that she actually hit these people, things, whatever you wanted to call them, to kill them. "Now listen, when we get to the back door, they're all going to be waiting to get in. Scream at 'em like before, that will back them off. Then just start strafing the entire group and don't stop until you run out." He kicked a box out from in front of the battered wooden door and tugged it open on crying hinges. Faces appeared immediately. Blood-shot eyes, salivating mouths, and vein-pulsing foreheads swam before us. "Didn't the lady tell you to GO AWAY?" The air was teeming with agony as bodies writhed in pain on the ground. Alyssa and Steve opened fire without mercy. Watching the darts catch their mark, adrenaline began to flow within the two. "Eat shit motherfuckers!" Alyssa said, her bosom heaving with every syllable. Her body vibrated with the recoil of her gun until the last dart met its mark. One by one, the bodies littering the ground began to sizzle, creating a stench worse than the fish market in Boston on a hundred-degree day. Then they were gone. "We did it! Ohmigod! We did it didn't we?" Alyssa panted through waves of nausea. The sound of waves crashing filled her ears once more and she opened her eyes. * * * "Maybe I should have opened the front door when I saw you drive up?" "Darlene, it's not your fault. I don't know what happened. She did recognize the game room, though. You did a great job on the walls. I swear, if I didn't know better, I swear I'd be coming home from school all over again." "But Tommy, I didn't know she would remember that. The only thing that's different is I took down the built in bookshelf and had a closet framed out. Do you think that did it?" When Alyssa was a young girl the family joke was that a lab was hidden beneath the backyard. Like a basement to the basement. There was supposed to be a secret entrance in the basement. If you were standing on the deck and looking out to the backyard, they would joke about some harsh angles at the property line. She remembered her Uncle telling her that those were the corners of the roof for the secret lab. Thomas and Darlene's voices slowly faded in. Alyssa looked around and found herself on the couch in the living room. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Hey honey, feeling better?" Thomas cooed. Both turned towards her as if her answer couldn't be trusted and they had to decide for themselves. "Yeah. I guess. You guys sound like you're in a tunnel." Darlene reached out a glass of water that she seemed prepared to be asked for. "I just had the hardwood floors refinished yesterday. I should have aired the house out more, knowing that Thomas was bringing you here. It was warm enough that we slept in a tent out back last night." Darlene smiled as Alyssa sat up and looked around the room. "You live here, Darlene?" Alyssa asked. "I have for quite a while. Since your Aunt and Uncle sold it. I talked to Thomas and she helped me get the old pinball machine." "I can't believe you got Space Race. I can't believe my score is still there! But I'm confused. Wasn't there a fire the year after Aunt Elaine and Uncle Eddie sold the house? My dad said the house was destroyed." "Your dad exaggerated. Darlene bought the house and was having a cook out when the gas grill blew up. There was a fire on the back deck. It just needed to be rebuilt. When she finished with that, she brought the game room back. Isn't she talented? She painted the walls by hand." "All right, Thomas. So I painted lots of circles with numbers on them. Anyone could have done it. I just like doing projects like that." "You painted them by hand, Darlene?" Alyssa leaned forward on the couch. The shift in the conversation was noticeable but she couldn't help following along. * * * Thomas and Alyssa excused themselves a short while later. They had the rest of their day to carry out. Alyssa was amazed by how much she felt like she was nine years old again. She went to check out the pinball machine again. Thomas started the car and Alyssa hugged Darlene goodbye. When she closed the door and fastened her seat belt, Thomas turned to her. "Are you sure you're alright?" "Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't eat anything this morning. It's one of the nasty side effects since being off my meds. It's not a big deal." "Do you pass out often? That's not normal, hon. You should go to the doctors." Thomas patted her knee as he navigated the short, crowded streets. "Don't worry, I'm fine. Let's just get some lunch. I have the strangest dream to tell you about." They drove down a side street and turned onto the main drag. The mall loomed below an embankment on the left. They circled the food court parking area and settled on a spot in the shade of the building. As they were seated at their non-smoking table in the Ground Round and waiting for their beverages, Alyssa grew quiet. Thomas knew that when she entered one of her moods, it was best to let her break the silence first. So he contentedly studied his menu to take the pressure off her. "I want to apologize for a few things." Alyssa whispered. Her voice was barely audible over the din of the lunchtime crowd. Thomas looked up to find that she had shredded both their napkins into a pile in front of her. Now she was shredding the tiny strips of napkin into even smaller pieces. The server appeared out of nowhere, like they always do and asked to take their orders. She replaced the napkins under each glass and returned to the kitchen. "What do you think you need to apologize for?" Thomas asked. "I haven't been exactly truthful with you. I guess I need to go back a little." She paused, waiting for his acknowledgement before continuing. He nodded, meeting her eyes with a questioning glance. "Remember when I was seeing Jarred back in November? Well, in January I found out I was pregnant and he dumped me. He accused me of cheating on him. He accused me of lying to him. He left." Thomas shifted his eyes up doing the math in his head. January to October was ten months. "In January you found out?" "Yea. I was 12 weeks and lost the baby. It was my second check-up and I was supposed to be able to hear the heartbeat for the first time. They took an ultrasound and saw the heart wasn't beating." She licked her lips that were as dry as the pile of shredded napkins in front of her. The color slowly drained from Thomas's face. Feeling useless, he reached out and cupped her hand in his. "Lyss, I wish you could have told me then." "That's the thing Tom, I couldn't. I couldn't talk to anyone. Shit, Mom and Dad don't even know. I told Jarred and he said he was glad because he didn't want a bastard child to worry about." "What an asshole. Where is he now?" Thomas asked, slamming his fist on the table and causing the flatware to jump. "It doesn't matter anymore. I went into an agitated depression. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was restless, even driving to work was torture. I'd have anxiety attacks three or four times a day. A day. I started seeing Paula and she put me on benzodiazepine." The server came back with two sizzling plates of chicken fajitas. Thomas stopped her in mid-air. "I'm sorry, something's come up and we need to leave. Can we get this boxed and take the check?" She clicked her tongue and sighed before plastering a fake smile. "Sure, no problem." She said through clenched teeth. "I'll be right back with these." "Alyssa, honey. Why wouldn't you let me help you?" Thomas soothed after the server had made her hasty retreat to the kitchen. No doubt they'd have some special sauce added to their fajitas. "Because I couldn't. The only thing I wanted was to be alone. The benzodiazepine helped with the insomnia but I didn't like the way it made me feel so I just stopped taking it. She claims that I turned BI-polar and that was why I tried to commit suicide. I tried to overdose on the Percodan that was left from when I had my wisdom teeth removed and the Xanax that I still had. I popped six or seven, poured myself a glass of wine, and started to run a bath. The maintenance guy found me because the kid downstairs called the office saying water was flooding his bathroom through the exhaust fan." "Here you go. I'll take that when you're ready." The server slid their Styrofoam boxes between them and slapped the check on top. Thomas grabbed his wallet. Pulled out a twenty and a five and thrust the papers back in her hand without even looking at the bill. "Here. Thanks." He scooped up their lunch and took Alyssa's hand to guide her out of the booth and back to his car quickly. "Alyssa Maria. I don't understand you. All these years that I've been there for you. I'd stop in the middle of a date so we could talk. Why did you feel that you had to keep this from me? I knew I shouldn't have moved to California. I told you that you could always call me collect." "You don't get it, Thomas. I wanted it all to be over. You were the only one who would treat me like an adult. When you left, I thought I could foster my relationship with Jarred but that didn't work out. He left me high and dry when I just needed a shoulder and an ear. My own baby didn't even want me as a mother." "Alyssa, your baby did not choose to die. God made that choice. Just like God didn't want you to die. He made that choice too." "Regardless." Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and turning the fuchsia of her silk blouse magenta where the droplets landed. "I finally decided that I didn't want to talk to anyone. I shut my phone off. I quit my job. I turned into a fucking recluse. I told Dad that he was the biggest prick in the world for leaving Mom and I hoped his dick rotted off from fucking her. He shut me out of his life too. Then I got evicted. I checked myself into a treatment center and got straightened out. They put me on Ativan. I've been out for three months and off for six weeks now." "So, you're better? Just like that?" "No, not just like that. Dad and I are going through family counseling. I'm going through counseling. And it's one day at a time." "Why don't you move out to California with me?" "What?" She turned towards him briskly. "Move out to California. Come back with me. I'll help you pack and everything. I'll help you get set up with doctors. Come back with me." "Why would I move to California? You said yourself it was hot, sweaty, and gave you allergies year-round." "Because I don't want something like that to ever happen to you again. You're the only cousin I've got. You don't know how much you mean to me, how big a part of my life you are. Move to California with me, after the wedding. I mean it." She leaned into him and cried until her eyes were stinging. She heard him sniffle once or twice and felt slight taps on her hair from where she assumed his tears fell. From passersby, they looked like lovers sharing a moment. They were only half-right. When her breathing returned to normal, except for a few labored sighs, she sat back in her own seat. "I hope you have a pretty big house because I need my space." Thomas kissed the palm of her hand. "It's not too bad. Three bedrooms. I'll have to kick my girlfriend out but she won't mind." They laughed together and the sound seemed foreign to them. "So what's this dream you wanted to tell me about?" "It was so weird. But can we go sit on that bench over there?" She pointed out the car window past Thomas's shoulder to the maroon park bench next to the bus shelter. "I need to get some food in me. I'm famished. Did she pack any forks in there?"