0 comments/ 3882 views/ 0 favorites Maxine's New Life Ch. 06 By: carniegirl Lit 6 14-20 14 pick a side Max Stone, the sign read. It was being held by my best friend, Jennifer. Well, she used to be my best friend. She was about to have a real problem. Jennifer hugged me tight and asked, "How are you? Are you still mad at Marty?" "Who me? I'm not mad. I'm just going to sue his ass off. You are going to have to pick your side on this one." "Marty has been my client since I started practicing," Jennifer said. "I have been your friend since grade school. You still have to choose." I was not about to let her off easy. After all, she had gotten me into it in the first place. "Tell me what your position is and I'll pass it along. Maybe there won't be any need for a court fight." "I want the son of a bitch taken out and shot. That's my bottom line position." "Come on, Max, what damage do you think he did to you?" "He lied to me and he used me to promote his stupid bike business. Then, when I fought back, he put those pictures of me on the net." "Now don't get pissed, just listen, then if you still feel the same, I'll deliver your comments. If you two can't come together, I'll recommend good lawyers for you both. I won't represent one of you against the other." "Okay, that's fair. What is it you have to say in his defense?" I asked. "For one thing, he told you he was out to demonstrate that the bike was a dependable means of transportation. Okay, he didn't tell you he was setting up a business, but a trial judge is going to split hairs." "He took pictures of me without my permission and posted them on the net." "Yes, and some of those are in bad taste, but they haven't been doctored. You were dressed or undressed just like the images show. The pornographic ones you might not have posed for, but you knew you weren't alone with the person whose body parts are also in the pictures." "Okay, so I'm complicit, but we both know he didn't have a release for those images. You are supposed to have a release, if you use someone's image in advertising, aren't you?" "Yes and Marty has some culpability for those images used in promoting his business. But, Max, it's going to cost you a ton to sue. Marty can stall this till hell freezes over and your lawyer is going to want to be paid. If the best you can do is ten grand, nobody is going to want to touch your case." "Well, my big plan was to sue him for reckless endangerment. He sent me out on a bike that he knew was overpowered and poorly balanced. He didn't even bother to warn me. I swerved to avoid a collision with a coyote and the bike threw me off." "Yes and what are the permanent damages?" "A couple of scars are about all I can come up with now, but you never know what will show up next year." "Max, you can do that to Marty and ruin his new business venture. That's what you really want to do. You want to castrate him because he didn't tell you everything. Then again his lawyer is going to ask you about the pictures. Just to be sure you aren't doing the woman scorned thing to him. You aren't are you?" "Not scorned, Jen, lied to and used." "Okay, what do you think that is worth?" "I don't know," I replied. "I do. See what he really did was make a half dozen commercials using your image. If he had hired a professional model to make those images, it would have cost him about 75K. He sent you out on that bike, and yes, he knew it was dangerous. It will be up for debate how much you knew, but he had another 25K worth of liability there. He did pay you for everything else, except that sex, and you really don't want to sue for that do you? "Of course not." "Then ask the dirty old man for 100K and walk away from it. That's my advice." The conversation took place in her BMW as she drove me to Marty's shop for my minivan. "I'll give it some thought," I replied. We were still five minutes out, so I just shut up for the rest of the ride. "So, was the trip fun otherwise?" she asked. "It actually was a blast, even the parts that weren't," I suggested with a small smile. "Good, so what are your plans now?" Jen asked. "I'm going to get the van and then go to the office to see what is left of my business." "Well, speaking of that, Lucas has called me a dozen times in forty days. I think that is pretty damn good." "Yes, if that's all it took to keep the place going, it is damn good. Of course, if it's because he didn't do shit, then it isn't so good." "Good point, Max, I don't know which it is." She paused a long moment, then went on. "Ted is going to meet us to open the door so you can get your car. I called ahead and Ted said his dad ordered him to give you the car and write you a check for the balance of the account. That isn't going to include the 100K." "Of course not, it's just five grand." "Good, then that won't be a problem. I'll start working on the other, but Marty probably won't decide for a while. His case will be stronger if the trip didn't light a fire in the public. Your case will be stronger if it did. So both of you should wait to see what the reaction of the public is." "Perfectly logical advice, but I want to hang him by his balls, no matter what it is," I replied. "Guess what, Max? He wants to do the same to you since you ruined his press conference. You called his bike a death trap." "Duh, yeah," I replied laughing. Ted met us at the door to his dad's shop. "Hello, Max," he said, handing me an envelope. Inside was a check for five thousand dollars. "That covers the balance on your contract." He paused a moment, then went on. "Yes, I know there are other issues, but that's between the two of you. I am sorry about those pictures he put up last night. He should not have done that." "Thanks, Ted, I agree about that. Well, I need to get to my office." I turned my attention to Jen. "Call me and we will do lunch," I suggested. When I got to the office, Ed gave me a big hug. I barely recognized Lucas. "My God, Lucas, have you grown a foot or what?" "Nothing like that," he replied. "The kid has matured, not gotten taller, Max. He jumped right in and did a hell of a job for you," Max whispered to me. I don't think he wanted the kid to know how impressed he was. "So anything exciting happen since I've been gone?" I asked loud enough for both of them to hear, then I sat at my desk and turned on the computer. While it came to life, I listened to Ed telling me about his latest woes with the bail jumpers. "Before you ask, I do not want to run down your bail jumpers." I said just loud enough to carry across the room. "What about me?" Lucas asked. "What about you?" I repeated to him. "Now that you are back, there isn't enough work for me even part time. I could run down bail jumpers for Ed." "In spite of his whining, he doesn't have that many," I replied, "Besides which, you don't have any idea how to be a bounty hunter." "You could teach him," Ed suggested. The look I gave him would have made Superman proud. Ed threw up his hands and said, "Just saying, you could show him the ropes." "You want me to open a new can of worms, then Luke here goes back to school and I am stuck working my bony ass off," I said. "You just loved saying that, didn't you?" Ed said, laughing. "Saying what? Telling you no?" I asked. "Hell no, the bony ass thing. Ever since you got here last winter you have been bitching about those few extra pounds. The blown out gullet, and the road trip were all it took for you to get skinny." Ed said firmly. "Hey, I don't mind looking good for a change," I replied. "You always looked good, besides you have lost too much weight now, if you ask me." "Don't worry, they are still making donuts down at Krispy Kreme, it won't take long." "Good, I'm buying the first dozen." Ed was proud of himself for successfully harassing me again. The man treated me as he wished he could treat his own daughter. Her he could not speak to without it turning into WW3. She was ashamed of what he did for a living. The two of them went out of their way to avoid having any real conversations. "Please, Ms. Stone," Lucas begged. "Lucas, surely you can see that I don't want to work that hard. You know you are going to be a cop and I will be left with the work and no help. You really need two people to do bail pickups. If you don't, eventually someone is going to get hurt. I haven't always been the lucky one. Sometimes it me on the bloody end of the stick." "You know I can't promise to never leave you, but there are lots of people who need work. You could always replace me." "Well, it does fit in with the process serving, in a way." "I can get you work from Tryon. I know all those boys over there. I know what kind of service they get from the guy over there who runs jumpers." "What's he like?" I asked. "He's a court sanctioned thug, that's what," he said firmly. "I wish you guys had given me a couple of days to settle back in before you dropped this on me." "So, are you doing to do it?" Ed asked. "Lucas, do you really want to do this?" I asked. If he came up with some pie in the sky bullshit, my answer was going to be hell no." "Ma'am, I want to work, and this job has been good for me so far. Mr. Martin says it won't be a huge amount of work, but he thinks that I can do it. So yes, Ma'am, I want to at least try it." "You do know at least one of the guys you pickup is not going to want to come along peacefully." "Yes Ma'am, I know." "You are prepared to bring down an ass whuppin' on some guy whose only crime is like bank fraud?" "If it's him or me, and I can make it him, yes Ma'am, I'm willing to do that." "Ed next one you get that you can't talk in, give him to me and we will try." "Here you go. You shouldn't have any problem with her, I'm sure she really wants to do the right thing." "You been saving this for me. You just knew you two could talk me into it." "Not at all, Max. I just hadn't got around to calling the thug yet," Ed swore. I looked at the name on the file. 'Lori Simpson' was handwritten in Ed's very neat script. He told me when I asked earlier, that he had learned to print in high school drafting class. His printing was as good as any typewriter I had ever seen. Inside were police reports and court reports. The top item in the file was a bench warrant for Lori. She didn't appear for her DUI trial. "What kind of penny ante bullshit is this Ed, DUI?" "If you read a little more closely, I'm in for a 100K on Lori the Lush. Third offense, and she put a kid in a wheelchair." "You do have all the information to find her, if she isn't in the wind." I said flipping pages. "You know she is gonna be near mama or one of her boyfriends." "How about the boyfriend, is he dangerous?" "Let us say you shouldn't turn your back on him." "Terrific, okay, let me call and up my liability insurance and we will give it a go. But just on Lori the Lush for now." "Oh, welcome back, Max," I mumbled under my breath. 15 Home again My first night back in the cabin where I lived, I found myself cleaning 40 days worth of dust and grime from the counters and dishes. Open cabinets did that. I managed that while trying to figure out how best to hunt down bail jumpers. I started with some basic assumptions. Neither Lucas, nor I were every going to intimidate the bad guys with our looks. If we intended to do this and be successful, we would have to outsmart the prey. I remembered the story of my friend the Air Policeman who had to pick up a deserter. The man was huge and he had done two tours as a combat air controller in Iraq. After that second tour, he decided he had done his part. I tended to agree with him, but the powers that be sent one of my friends after the giant of a man. The kid they sent was young, and slight of build, but he was from West Virginia. He had grown up hard in and around the coal mines. He knew no fear it seemed, but he was also smart. He waited till the giant went to the bathroom after having several beers in a local beer joint. Then while giant had his hands full, so to speak, my friend walked up and stuck a pistol in the back of his neck. The giant zipped up then put his hands behind his back, where my friend cuffed them. I asked my friend why he had done such a cowardly thing. He said, "Okay it wasn't the John Wayne thing to do, but it kept me from getting my ass whipped, so it was the Norman Brice thing to do." I decided that I needed to start thinking of the Norman Brice thing to do. If I couldn't be tough enough, then I had to be smart enough. Either that or plan on using my accident insurance often. After my adventure with the bike and the small town doctor, I decided I would give being smarter my best shot. Since there was going to be a chill in the air that night, according to the TV. Yes, before I left, I had satellite TV installed. Mostly it was for the news and weather, since the shows were mostly crap. As I was saying, since there was going to be a chill, I fired up the oil heater which had come with the cabin. I wasn't sure how safe it was, but I had to try it sometime. I followed the directions on the back of the stove and sure enough it began to put out heat. Since it sat in one corner of the one room cabin, I figured I needed some kind of blower for the small heater. A quick search of the one standing cabinet revealed a small plastic box fan. Since it had a carry handle and since there was a big ass nail over the heater, I figured that was the spot. Most likely it was the place the previous tenant had used for it. A half hour after I started the heater, I had to turn it down to its lowest possible setting. While I drank coffee from the Mister Coffee machine, I began asking myself questions, trying to decide how to outsmart the bad guys. If you came to my door, who would you have to be for me to cooperate? Someone I didn't fear for sure. If I was in the wind, I would really be careful who I trusted. That made trying to find a way to con the bad guys even harder. There was no way I could pretend to be a friend, since obviously the bad guys would know their friends. If not a friend, then what kind of stranger would seem harmless? Even better, what kind of stranger would I trust and want to help? I was trying to remember who all I had known that fell into that category. At that point, I remembered the UPS delivery of my pistol from California. It would be due a couple of days down the road. If they showed up at the office with it, I would expect Ed to sign for it, or to tell them where to find me, if the driver insisted. Since I ran a kind of delivery service already, I could use that to my advantage. What I needed to do was to set myself up as a courier service. Something like, "Priority Messenger, when it's that important." Not a bad slogan for the outside of my van. It could also help me deliver my court papers. Not a bad idea, I thought. I did a quick Internet search and found that it wouldn't cost more than a hundred bucks to have signs made for the minivan. Not a bad investment if I helped me with my real business as well. Not only that, but best of all it was deductible. I did not want Lucas running around with a gun, so what should I arm him with. Taser, of course, there was no question about it. And gas, since I couldn't get nerve gas, pepper spray would have to do. A bean bag shotgun would probably be okay. He might get me sued with it, but maybe he wouldn't land me in jail. Then there was the bulletproof vest and radio equipment we would need. I know the thug, as I had come to think of the competition, didn't spend his money on toys, but we were going to be a kinder, gentler, bounty hunting agency. That pretty much gave me a starting plan for the next day. So I could now either put a pot pie in the microwave or go to the Cop Out. "Holy Shit, look who's here," Blevins said. He hugged me with what I felt was genuine warmth. "Hey, Blevins, did you miss me?" I asked, "Or is that a gun in your pocket?" "You bet, it's been way too quiet around here, and it's a gun, but it shoots blanks." "Well, hell, put a dollar in the Juke Box and I'll dance on the table." "Would you really?" he asked. "Yes, but after a couple of minutes you would tell me to get the hell off that table." "Ah, but would you take your clothes off?" "I don't know, Blevins, how does this crowd tip?" "Really awful, not that I know from experience. One of the waitresses told me." I nodded. "So, Blevins, how did that kid you sent me make out?" "He must have done fine; he didn't call me for help." "Do you know much about him?" "Not really; you planning to keep him around?" "Yeah, Ed seems to like him. I thought I might give him some work. You know, while he finishes out at the community college." "That's nice of you, Max, but don't get him into too much. He is just a kid." "Hell, Blevins, he told me he had a ten inch prick. Don't sound like all that much of a kid to me." "He told you that, but you haven't seen it have you?" "No, why, don't tell me you think a man would lie about that." "Of course men lie about that," he said. "Damn it, Blevins, I asked you not to tell me that. Now I will have to keep the kid around and try to sneak a peek to be sure." "Do you have enough work to keep him around?" "Ed wants me to find a couple of his skips. I figured I would use him for that." "Max, I told you not to get that kid involved in anything dangerous." "Come on, it's not like we have Charlie Manson here. Most we have is a wife beater. Even I can kick those guys in the balls." "You have been warned," Blevins said. "Max, when the hell did you get home?" one of the regulars asked. "I got back this morning." "I seen your pictures on the net, nice," he added. "I'm so glad," "No, Max, I mean I really saw you," he was all grins. "Well, I hope you saved them cause there won't be any more up there," I turned away to face Blevins. "I'm going to kill Marty when he gets back," "Don't say that, Max. Something might happen to him, and then I would come looking for you." "Blevins, if something happens to him, please come looking for me. I would feel slighted if you didn't." "Okay, if you insist." "Where's Jerry," I asked. "Jerry doesn't come around like he used to." "Yeah, I guess not," I replied. I was thinking of Sarah and feeling guilty again. I looked around then commented. "There are some new faces, though." "Yeah, they come and they go," he replied, as if it was a piece of Oriental wisdom. "Kind of like my love life," I replied. "Yeah, kinda like that." Blevins had a huge smile. We could be friends because he wasn't one of those guys who had done that. I had exactly two beers and put off two would be lovers before I went home alone. I had forgotten how good it felt to sleep in a familiar bed. Things usually look different after a night's sleep. The things on my mind at that time were no different. I hate boredom, as I have said before, so the thought of chasing people on the run interested me a lot more after a good night's sleep. While in the shower, I decided for sure to take the minivan in for a sign declaring that it belonged to an overnight local courier service. The sign maker consultation would be about what kind of sign. Since the decision to do it was made, I began searching for a name. Believe it or not, hot water mixed with soap rubbed into the hair, is excellent for fostering imaginative thinking. I had called my little process server business 'At Your Service' so that part as a slogan was a natural. I tried out and disregarded several ideas before I settled on. LIGHTNING EXPRESS At Your Service I felt like it had a nice ring and didn't really say anything. In my case that's exactly what I wanted. Maxine's New Life Ch. 06 After my shower, I took a big chance and stepped onto the bathroom scale from Goodwill. I didn't want to know my weight enough to pay retail for one of those lying bastards, but I did spring for five bucks. My weight was still down to 110 lbs which gave me ten pounds before I hit the ideal top weight for my height. I was really pissed that those last ten pounds from the trip came right from my boobs. Oh well, I guess you can't choose where you lose weight any more than you can choose your shoe size. To be perfectly honest, I looked out the window and missed seeing the motorbike. It would be totally useless in my real life, but it had been a blast. I looked around the kitchen area trying to decide what to do about breakfast. I checked the open metal shelves and found something I had bought at the farmer's market, the one behind the recreation center. The old cardboard box read Milky Way candy bars, but it really contained a dozen bags of cereal. Actually it contained a dozen bags of granola. In the case of that granola, it was three kinds of cereal mixed with at least three kinds of dried fruit. The real reason I bought it was that it was that it also contained a good version of dried milk. The directions said to add water and Microwave the mess. Since I hadn't tried it before, I decided that it was time. I was really optimistic, but then I also figured anything with fruit and that much brown sugar couldn't be too awful and I was right. The granola and black coffee was a hit with me. I sat at my metal tool bench and ate my granola, while the TV told me all the national news. One of the things I had learned in the Air Force was that the national news was usually wrong at best. At worst, some intelligence service somewhere was planting it. The best the national news could do for Joe Citizen was scare the hell out of him for no real reason. After breakfast I walked around the minivan trying to decide where to put the signs. I decided that I needed to forget that until I had a consult with a sign maker. 16 signs.. signs ... everywhere a sign I carried the remains of my coffee pot from home to the office. I sipped on that while the office Mr. Coffee worked its magic. Ed brought his fancy coffee in the designer label cup through the door just before 9 AM. I had already been doing research for the sign project. I had even left a message for Jen asking what I had to do to be legal. The sign was subterfuge, but I didn't want the county tax people to have their noses out of joint. I had no idea when I might hear from her, so I moved on to considering a sign painter. I actually looked in the yellow pages and on line for a contact number. There were two in Aster, so I had a local choice. Nothing about either made a big impression on me. That being the case, I had waited for Ed to arrive. "Hey, Ed," I said, with a hearty smile, "What do you know about sign painters." "Actually nobody really paints signs anymore. Some computer geek prints them or has his computer cut the letters out and he just assembles it." "That's more than I needed to know. What I meant was, who should I call to have a sign made for the Minivan?" "Michael Burke did my sign for me. I guess he did a good job, and if I remember right, the price was okay." "Knowing you, Ed, the price was terrific. You haven't paid the full retail price for anything since I have shared this office with you." "I'm careful," he said smiling. "Okay, Michael Burke it is." I made the call. Burke was actually at his phone. He was the first person who I had found in on the Tuesday morning. "Sure, I can swing by on my way to install a sign for the Plaza Center. I have to meet the electrician there at 11 AM. I can be at your place around 10:30, if that's okay?" "That would be just fine. I need to get a little legal advice, but I would like to be sitting on dead ready when I have it." "Good, see you then." "So you are going to give the thug a run for his money. You have all my business and all my friends' business as well." "Not so fast, let's make sure Lucas and I can do it first. I have a lot of things to get lined up." "If you want to do it, you will do it. I know you, Max. Nothing stops you when you put your mind to it." "Gee, I wish I was the person you all think I am." I smiled when I said. I paused a few minutes to think what I should do next. "Ed, what time does Lucas usually show up?" "About anytime he wants. There wasn't much to do around here. He did carry your cell phone home with him, so he worked about whenever he wanted, or at least whenever he could." "Okay, I'll keep an eye out for him. At least he left me the phone, so I'm back in business." I also found the note with three names attached to a stack of tri-folded, blue wrapped, sheets of papers. Anyone could tell by looking that they were lawyer's papers awaiting service. I took a look at the dates. The oldest was not quite a week old so they weren't too bad. On the note was written the dates of the attempts to serve and the results. After the sign painter leaves, I will have to deal with these, I thought. In the meantime I just sat there in a stupor drinking coffee. I had other things to think about before Lucas and I could really begin to work. I began by making myself a shopping list. It wasn't for a pound of sugar though. The first item was plastic wire ties. Those were a poor man's handcuffs. Best of all you could buy them at Home Depot. Not so the taser that I needed for the kid, or even the pepper spray. Those I had to go at least into Tryon to purchase. There were two possibilities there, an army and navy store, and a gun shop. Both would carry the gas and maybe the stun gun type taser. I wasn't so sure about the taser gun, should I decide to go that route, I had no idea where to look. Even that wasn't the huge issue, because I had to have a couple of bulletproof vests and some radio equipment. Those were the major items. Best I could tell, the vests were going to run about 3 bucks each. I needed two of them. Then there were the walkies. The actual size of the radio was immaterial. I needed to be sure there were blue tooth looking headsets available for them. Enough people had seen the telephones so that they might not to be intimidated by them. It would still allow instant communications between the two of us. Those were going to run at least a buck each, it appeared. Then there were the beanbag firing shotguns for the really bad guys, loaded with beanbag rounds for the take down. I at least would carry a pocket full of buckshot, in case the situation became really intense. Those would run about two more each. It looked as though I was going to need to come up with a grand apiece for us. I had the money and I had already decided to do it, so it was just a matter of biting the bullet and writing the checks. I had a rough plan made when Lucas showed up at the office. "Hello, Ms Stone," he said, as he approached my desk. "Good morning, Lucas, you doing okay?" I asked. "Yes Ma'am, I'm fine." "Good, could you tell me about these papers you didn't get to serve?" "Yes Ma'am. One of them the people doesn't live there and nobody knows where they are. The other two I could never seem to find, but I know they are still living here." "I have a sign painter on the way, so why don't we try to find these three people while we wait?" "Sure, what should we do first?" "Let's start with where they work, if they do?" I reached into the stack and pulled one at random. "Lucille Everston, bad checks, your note says she never comes home according to the neighbors." "Well, they said she doesn't come home for days at a time. I didn't figure it would do much good to wait around for her." "That is good figuring. So where does she go, when she isn't home?" "Honest, I asked, but nobody seemed to know," Lucas informed me. I took the phone directory from Ed's desk. Look up Everston," I said handing it to Lucas. It took him a couple minutes, but he finally said, "L. L. Everston," he advised me along with the address and phone number, "Now find out where she worked when she was arrested. It is in the arrest report." "She worked at The Sub Station at the mall," Lucas said. I dialed the phone number and waited. "Hello," an older female voice said. "Mrs. Everston, this is Mandy at the Sub Station, I got Lucille's settlement check here. She can come get it, or I can send it to her." "Are you at the mall?" the voice on the phone asked. "No Ma'am, I at the business office in Tryon. Would you like that address." "No, you can just send it here. She can get it here." "Great and is that address,,,,,,,,,,,?" I asked. "Yes, it is." "Fine, I'll send it over by overnight courier. It should be there tomorrow before noon. She will have to sign since it is the settlement check." "Okay, I'll tell her. How much is the check?" she asked. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, I can't give that information over the phone," "Oh okay. I'll tell her to be here tomorrow morning." "That will be fine, thanks." I hung up the phone and said, "Well, let's see if she waits for us." The second one fell for the same scam. It looked as though it would be a winner. Lucas was amazed. "Don't be too excited, it hasn't happened yet." "What about the man who moved?" Lucas asked. "For that, you need to find out who would know where he is. Somebody always knows, Son, even if it's only the man or woman who killed him." "He is being called to court for failure to pay his child support. Start by finding out how old the children are. Call the lawyer who issued the papers, tell him or her that the guy has skipped. Ask if the lawyer wants us to pursue the guy. If so, get all the information you can from her, especially the contact information for the ex-wife." "Excuse me, is one of you Max Stone?" The man who asked was younger than me by at least ten years. He was also gorgeous in that needs a bath and shave kind of way. Some women love that look, and some hate it, but all women have an opinion. I came down on the, if it don't smell, it's good side. "I'm Stone," I answered. "I'm Burke, the sign man. You got a van that you want signed?" "Oh, I do indeed." I waved him over and handed him my preliminary sketch. He looked it over then asked me. "Are you sure you want this just like you have it here?" "Why, what's wrong with it?" "Well, unless you are running a bleaching service, you're spelling lightning wrong." "No, Michael, I want you to do it right." I replied, not at all humbled by my mistake. I make them all the time. "Good enough, you want both sides done, one on the cargo door and one behind the driver's door?" "You should look at the van. It has passenger doors on both sides." "Okay then we're even, I get a point for correcting the spelling on your sign, and you get one because I assumed you ran a cargo van. Let's go measure it out." Once we were outside, Michael said, "Crap, what an awful color for a business van." "I thought burgundy was a good color?" "Not if you have to stick letters on it. Unless you don't care how awful they clash." "Okay, Michael, how about you put on a white rectangular piece of film, then stick the lettering on it?" "That will work, but it's gonna cost more and mess up more of the paint." "What's it gonna look like?" "What I can do is put half the sign on each door. That will give you the biggest sign. LIGHTNING on one door and EXPRESS on the other. Then your slogan on one door and the phone number on the other. Now I usually put a license number on the sign as well." "Yeah, that's what I need to talk to my lawyer about." "Ah I see, then get back with me tomorrow?" "Do you have a price?" I asked. "Simple letters, a hundred bucks a side. If you want me to find that little stick figure with the package that you drew, add thirty bucks. So make it two bills or two thirty, you decide." "Fair enough, will I need to bring the van to your shop?" "No, I can do it right here, this isn't much of a job." "Then why don't we trade it out?" I smiled my best smile for him. "Now what would my wife say to that." "I don't know, want me to ask her?" I laughed. It was hard for me to believe I was making jokes, all things considered. Or was it a joke I wondered. "I think I'll take it in cash money." "Okay, but that's no fun." Lucas and I served a couple of new papers and I had a good idea how to go about serving the other two the next day. Client three canceled when she realized how much trouble and expense it would be and probably still not get it done. Jen called back and told me that regulations required that if I put the word courier or delivery on the van. I had to put a license number as well. I could however call myself anything I liked, as long as I didn't intend to break the law as a part of it. According to her, anything can be express like a dry cleaners, as well as a delivery service. The stick figure didn't designate me as a courier, just a terrible artist. I arranged for Michael to install the signs the very first thing in the morning. Lucas and I might have time to use the van complete with signs for our errands. 17 when is first thing in the morning "First thing is 8 AM," the voice of Michael Burke coming from my cell phone explained. "Maybe that is true for you, but first thing for me is 8:30 AM and that's about the time I will arrive at the office. So go have a cup of coffee and a donut, and put it on my bill." "Damn woman, I have way more to do than drink coffee. Okay, I do need to run by the drugstore. I'll do that first." I pushed the end key, then got my ass busy. I had managed the morning shower, but I still had wet hair. I knew that I could either dry my almost non-existent hair and do my makeup, or I could drink a cup of coffee. Since I promised not to run over any more kids while they waited for the school bus, I opted for the coffee. When I drove into the parking lot of Ed's converted service station, my hair, if it had been longer, would have been a rat's nest, and my face looked like that of a corpse, but I was on time. It was a good thing too, since Michael drove in right behind me. "There you are, I was beginning to worry," I said, as I climbed down from the van. "Right," he said, with a sarcastic smile. "It's a little chilly this morning. Any chance I can get you to make some coffee while I do this?" "I am going to make coffee. If you want a cup, I can spare it," I replied. Once inside the office, I removed the knit cap, which covered my still almost bald head, then started the coffee pot. I put the small plastic water bottle filled with coffee from home into the microwave. Two and a half minutes later, I poured the coffee into my coffee cup. "That prick outside can wait for his," I mumbled. While Michael worked on the van, I laid out my plan of attack for the day. It included serving our two hard to find people, as well as two new ones who came in late the day before. "I see Michael the sign guy is hard at work," Ed suggested, when he came in around 9 AM. "Yes, damn guy called me at home to ask where the hell I was." I said that with what I am sure was a dark look. "Oh what time was that?" Ed asked. "8 fucking o'clock," I replied. "Really were you alone?" "Ed, that was a rude thing to ask, but yes, I was alone and awake. I was also soaking wet." "Oh, you left home with wet hair from the shower. I didn't know, Max. It could have been wet and tangled from your bedroom gymnastics." "First of all, my hair is too short to be tangled, and secondly, how would you know about my gymnastics?" "Hell, Honey, everyone in town knows," he said, smiling at me. "Not that many know first hand," I replied. "Oh hell, it's even better that way. That way there are not as many who can deny your superhuman exploits." He did at least laugh. "Right, I'm middle-aged. It's a miracle that I can ever find anyone to screw me. They say the odds are better I will be killed in a terrorist attack than get laid." I gave him a sick laugh. "What man wants to screw an almost bald, middle aged, bitchy broad?" "Are you taking applications?" The voice came from the front of the office. It belonged to a young man who was way too clean cut looking to really be interested in me. "Sure, leave your resume, with references, on the desk" "Hey, Joey, do you have my money?" Ed asked. "Yes, Mr. Martin, I have your bloodsucking fee." "Now, Joey, if you keep your daddy out of those bars, then you won't have to pay my bloodsucking fee." "It's easier to pay your fee, than to keep him away from the bars. He did go to two meetings since he got out on bail." "Well, keep him going, you just never know when they might take hold." Ed accepted the check the young man handed him. "Do you need a receipt?" "I never have before." He smiled at Ed then turned to me and said, "As for you, if you combed your fussy hair and put on some makeup, you would be adequate looking. Good enough to take to a dark college bar anyway." "If that is an invitation, how could I turn it down?" "Then meet me on Friday at the 'Dungeon' at 8 PM." He said. "Okay, but damn it, you are paying, I'm sure you can afford the 'Dungeon, ' it's where the winos drink during the daylight," I replied. "Alright, but only if you don't drink too much." "I never drink THAT much," I said with a wicked smile. After he had gone I asked Ed, "What's his story." "His dad is a drunk, one who doesn't know enough to stop driving. He will probably do thirty days on the farm this time. It's a big game, I think. They arrest him whenever they see him. His lawyer gets it reduced to reckless driving or some such bullshit and he does thirty days. Then he comes out and it starts all over again." "I don't have much patience for drunk drivers. They eventually kill or maim someone." I meant it too. "Yes they do, but unlike you, men don't usually have people offering them a place to stay while they sober up." Ed wasn't judging me; he was just stating a fact. I shook my head and went back to the papers on my desk. Since my thin hair was about dry, I went to the bathroom to try to comb it. No matter what I did, it was just an inch long limp mess. Since I shaved my head a couple of weeks before, it had started to grow back, but it wasn't any thicker. I had hoped it would be. I looked like a teenage boy with an inch long crew cut that just laid flat. I had been tempted to go with a dyke look. Hair all spiked up and a leather collar around my neck. I just felt a little old for that look. There wasn't much I could do about the hair, but I could at least put on some makeup. The foundation added some color to my pale face. The tiny bit of rouge on my cheeks reduced the cadaver look to a minimum. I tried to stay away from red lipstick, so I went with a dark rose color. A little eye shadow completed my painted on face look. "My God, Max, you must be in love. That is the most makeup I have seen you wear on a weekday." "Well, Ed, it's all for you, Honey." "I bet," he replied. "Okay. Stone, that is going to be $250 including the tax." "Nice round number," I replied. "Now you are sure it all has to be in cash." "I take credit cards," he replied. I still had the Southland Visa with a lot more than that on it, so yes I was tempted but decided not to do it. "Will you take a check?" "I will take a good check," he replied. "Then a check it is," I said, winking at Ed. I made sure Michael saw the wink. Might as well give him something to think about. The bank called fifteen minutes after Michael left. I seldom used a paper check, so they wanted to be sure I would approve the check. I did of course. I could see how trustworthy Michael thought I was. I got a big smile from his opinion of me. Maxine's New Life Ch. 06 I was impatient when Lucas finally arrived. "Sorry, I'm late, I had to drop a project off at school." "How about this, Luke, if you are going to be here after nine, you give me a call. You don't have office hours, so come in anytime you want, just let me know when it is that you want." "Yes Ma'am, I can do that," he replied. "And about the Ma'am and Ms Stone thing, let's find something you would be comfortable calling me that isn't going to make me feel like your grandmother." "Er, okay," he agreed. "I have been called, Maxine, Max, and Stone, either will do. Why don't you give them a try and see if one works for you." "Could we add Boss?" he asked. "Yes, I think that would be okay." "Then I can find one or more that will work for us both," he agreed. "So do you need coffee, or can we go to work?" I asked. "I'm ready to work, Boss," he said smiling. "Then you drive. You do know how to work the GPS?" "Yes, Boss, everybody has one of those now," he informed me. "Not everyone, but I'm glad you are familiar with it." "Wow, I love the van," he said, at first glance. I took a good look and had to agree with him. Michael Burke had done an excellent job. It was obvious from the stick figure man that it was a delivery van, without ever saying it. "Yes, I think he did a beautiful job. Now let's go see how smart we are." As is usually the case, the two hard to find deliveries were anti-climactic. Both of them were thrilled at the prospect of something for nothing, so the legend of the mooch continued. 'You can lead a mooch to water, and he will drown in it'. I was surprised that even the new ones seemingly went easier. We didn't have to convince any of the new ones to admit to their real identity. Luke just looked on his clipboard, read off the name and said please. Everyone one of them fessed up to their identity right away. I was so very pleased by the change that I could hardly contain myself. Lucas and I served five papers in three hours. It was just after lunch when we pulled away from the last service. Lucas had the rest of the day free, so after I bought his lunch, we went shopping. I drove the van to the Army and Navy surplus store in Tryon twenty odd miles away. There is a lot more new stuff than surplus in those stores these days. Since there was hell of a good salesman working at the store, I ended up buying everything there, including a shotgun for Lucas and a box of beanbag rounds. It cost me $2200 bucks, but I was glad to skip the run all over hell looking for stuff at other places. In the price were half a dozen ID card holders on chains to be worn around the neck. I saw them and on an impulse I bought them. Even the radios were first class. The relay controllers were small enough to fit in a man's shirt pocket or my jeans pocket. The Bluetooth headset was wireless, so it was really a nice piece of equipment. If I hadn't thought we would be more than ten feet apart, I wouldn't have needed the pocket radio units. It was more of a repeater, than a standalone unit. A digital recorder came with the base unit that went in the van. I had not anticipated buying either the recorder or a base unit, but the set came with all the pieces and it was on budget, so why not. The salesman assured me that the mini stun guns would stop a pissed off bull on PCP. I hoped that was true. The model he sold me could be laid on a victim's body and held there without firing, or fired instantly with a the trigger mechanism. It would allow us to threaten a subject. "Stand right were you are asshole or I'm gonna Taser you." It might or might not be necessary to really fire the damn thing. "So we are really going to chase bail jumpers?" Lucas asked, when we were in the van headed back to Aster. "It looks as though we are. I guess our first one is going to be Lori the lush. The first thing we need to do when we get back to the office is find her." "I know, check the police report and find out who might know where she is?" Lucas half asked, and half informed me. "Right, if she isn't really in the wind, we have a shot. She isn't worth enough to chase her outside the area." "I am so going to love this job," the kid said. 18 toys that go bang Ed walked in with his designer coffee just a little before 9 AM that next morning. "That was quite a load of toys you brought in yesterday. I should have stayed to take inventory," he suggested. "Not toys, Ed, those are tools. Blevins warned me that if I got Lucas killed, the cops would not be happy." "They still hold the nurse against you?" "Not the cops so much, but those nurses do, and the cops hold the nurses against them. So to keep peace, they say snarky things about me." "So what did you get to keep the kid safe?" Ed asked. "A bulletproof vest, radios, pepper spray, stun guns, and best of all, a 12 gauge shotguns that shoots beanbags." "So many non-lethal weapons; what if the bad guys don't want to stand still for being shot with a beanbag." "Then I guess, I'll have to kill them," I said, with a little laugh. "That's what I thought. Lucas is going to shout into the radio. 'Quick, Ms Stone, come shoot this bastard.'" "Yeah, that's kind of what I thought too." I waited a reasonable amount of time then said, "Give me everything you have on Lori the lush." "Ah, so I'm going to be the one to get your cherry?" Ed suggested. "Only if you have a time machine," I advised him. Since Lori had been a FTA, failure to appear, Ed's file had a lot of paperwork. He had tried to track her down, but had no success. I took delivery of the file, but I didn't open it. I decided to hold it for Lucas. I had the file on my desk about ten minutes when Lucas came into the room. "Morning, Lucas," I said. "Good morning, Boss and Ed," Lucas answered, "So what's the plan for today?" "I have one process to serve, and we have to find Lori the lush. If you can't find Lori quickly, I can serve the paper while you continue to look for her. First let's go through the file and decide on a plan of action." "Good, because I don't know if I can figure out what to do by myself," he admitted. "Good for you, the first thing to do is to admit that you don't know what to do first. With that I pushed the file over to him. "Get yourself some coffee and let's brainstorm." I gave him a few minutes to read the file while I pretended to check out the order for service on my first mooch of the day. I expected more to be phoned in as the day moved forward. "Make notes and we will tape them to the wall. First write 'Who else wants Lori?"' I watched until he was finished. Then I used a bit of masking tape to attach it to the rear wall of the office. "So figure that out," I demanded. "Do they have to want to put her in jail, or just have a general interest in her?" "Good question, let's go general interest and jail her drunken ass." "Family then," Lucas said. "Why?" I asked. "Because it's what families do?" "Okay, but if you look, you will probably find that one or more of them is a co-signer on the bail bond." Ed stepped over to show him where in the file to look. "The brother co-signed a personal note with Ed." "When he signed that note, I doubt that he understood he could lose his house. We might need to point that out to him. Ed tells me you are a computer whiz?" It was a question. "I can get around on one." Lucas agreed. "Then find out what kind of car is registered to her brother. Not a lease, but an owned vehicle. Also look through the file again to see if there is a boyfriend listed for Lori. Her next of kin might not be the brother, so run that down and get an address for the next of kin and the brother. When you get them, put that on the wall. Anything else you notice that might help us, put it up there too." We went over and over the file until lunch. While we worked the file, two more papers came in to be delivered. I picked those up while Lucas continued to pour through the file. It was 2 PM when I got back to the office. There were several notes on the wall. They appeared to hold valuable information, but I knew most of it would turn into dead ends. "Okay, Lucas, let's go see the brother. You do know where to find him?" "Yes, he owns a small neighborhood convenience store." "Very good, before we go, let's crank out a court order. You can fake one, can't you?" "I don't know if that is legal," Lucas suggested. "Of course, it's not moral, who knows if is it is legal or not. Do it anyway. You will find the blue cover sheets in my desk drawer. I have them in case I damage one of the lawyer's papers, I can repair it. Of course, they are going to come in handy now." I explained exactly what I wanted the court order to say. Lucas looked skeptical, but Ed grinned. If he didn't know the exact plan, he had a damn good idea." When Lucas finished, we took the van and hit the road. The drive to the Red Dot Market took about fifteen minutes. Once inside, I hung around the coffee machine until the place was empty. "Are you Dale Thompson?" I asked. "That's me, what can I do for you?" "You can accept service of this court order." I handed him the fake court order. "What is this all about?" he asked. Like most people he was too lazy to just read the damn thing. "It is an order from the District Court forbidding you to sell your 2009 Chevy pickup truck." "Why would I want to sell my truck?" "In the filing you will see that Ed Martin has put a lien on it. You signed a note with him for a bail he posted for one Lori Evans. I believe she is a relative." "Hold on now, I have nothing to do with that." "You can explain it to the judge on Monday at the hearing. In the meantime don't sell the truck." "Can you at least explain why are you doing this?" "Because Lori didn't appear for her court date and her lawyer can't find her. She has been declared a fugitive. You are signatory on the note guaranteeing her bond, so it's up to you to make the whole bond good." You can take $10K to the clerk of court on Monday, or Ed Martin will have to. If he does that, he will force the sheriff to seize your property, i.e., the truck." I had no idea how much of what I told him was true, and I didn't care. I wanted information, not the truck. "I can't believe Lori would do this to me?" "Yes, you can. People who drink and drive will do just about anything. They have very little regard for anyone else." "Yeah, I guess you are right. Can I make a deal with someone?" "Well, if we can find Lori and serve her with an arrest warrant, you would come out clean, but like I said, no one can find her." "You hold on one minute while I call my mom." "Your mom is not going to want to give her up," I suggested. "Mom will tell me where she is, if I ask her just right," he suggested. I just shrugged. When Dale left Lucas said, "Damn that was slick. I almost believed you myself." "I do believe it. You have to believe it to make the mooches believe it, Hon." I finished the coffee before he came back. "She is staying with her boyfriend. This is his address. Now does this square us?" "Not till I serve her. She can still skip, you can swear you did your part, but Mr. Martin winds up in the quicksand. No, when I have her signature on the paper, you are off the hook." "Be careful," Dale said. "Her boyfriend is one mean son of a bitch." "What now?" Lucas asked. "Now we go sit on the house. I want to see her ass before I crash into the house and get shot. I would rather take her on the street, or in a shopping mall, anywhere would be better than breaking into somebody's house to do it. We are going to remember what Dale said about the boyfriend." We sat on the address Dale gave us until the light went on inside. Over three hours and no one came out of the house. I saw her go to the car just before dark, but she didn't leave, she just removed a sweater from the driver's seat. "Now what?" Lucas asked. He was getting antsy and I didn't blame him. "Let's go make a delivery and a pickup," I suggested. "Cool, what do I do?" "You just hang back but keep that stun gun by your leg ready to use. If the boyfriend moves toward me, do not wait for him to reach me before you hit him with that thing." "Got you," he said. "Lucas, remember, we are just there to deliver an envelope nothing more, nice and friendly. When we get her separated from the boyfriend, I'll grab her and you watch my back. Right?" "Right," he replied. We pulled the van into the drive and went to the door. I had the white envelope, with lots of labels and stuff on it, in my hand. The boyfriend looked over the van real good even before he asked. "What Ya'll want?" "Got an envelope for a Lori Evans." "I'll take it," he said. "Sorry, she has to sign, if she isn't available, I can come back tomorrow. I made is seem important that I get a signature, but not that it be that moment. I hoped it take some of the pressure off. "Hold on," he said, as he disappeared back into the house. He returned a few minutes later, but following behind Lori. "What you go for me?" she asked smiling. I pushed the clipboard to her. She opened the storm door to reach out. I grabbed her arm and pulled, since she was off balance, she stumbled onto the porch. "Bail agents, Lori Evans, you are under arrest for failing to appear." I turned her quickly before she regained her balance enough to struggle. She ended facing the storm door and in effect blocking out the much larger boyfriend, at least temporarily. It was a classic move to use the prisoner as a shield. Even as I did it, I put the flex cuffs on her. Okay, I admit it was not very honorable, it was sort of a sucker punch, but who gives a fuck. Staying alive and healthy is more important. Just ask anyone who has ever been in a truly dangerous situation it comes down to keeping as safe as possible. The door block worked for about a minute. That's how long it took for the boyfriend to realize he needed to go out the back door. I knew what he was going to do because it's what I would have done. I said quietly to Lucas, "Hold onto her." I managed to make it to the corner of the house at the same time the boyfriend came around the corner. First, I tripped him, then I hit him with the stun gun. Yes, it was yet another cheap shot. "Get her into the van," I said to Lucas, "And get it running." I stayed with the boyfriend just long enough to be sure he wasn't going to die instantly. In twenty minutes it might happen, but at least I could swear that he was alive when I left. "You're a real bitch," Lori said to me, when I entered the car. "Yes, I really am a bitch. Now let me explain something to you. You are going to cooperate with me or I am going to hit you with that stun gun for no reason other than you pissed me off. Lucas and I can carry you into the jail and we still get paid. The only reason I haven't done it so far is that it's easier to walk you in, but not that much easier, so be a good girl. She saw the logic in my argument, but she couldn't help herself. She had to say, "Robbie is going to kill you." "I believe Robbie is going to try to kill me." I said smiling. I was not smiling inside. I began to shake as I remembered all the other times I had been terrified during my life, and there were plenty. I am sure as hell not the heroine type. I must be a fear junkie though, because I find myself coming back for more, even when I no longer have to. "Should I be worried?" Lucas asked. "You should be careful. You wanted to be a cop, people are going to threaten you every day you are a cop. They may not say, "I'm gonna kill you," but someone, somewhere, is thinking it every minute. It's like being an American in Iraq. 19 Max the good shepherd Friday morning, I arrived at the office first, as usual. I had the coffee cooking when Ed came through the front door. He was all smiles. "I called the jail this morning and they told me my lost little Lori had found her way back to the flock." "Does that make me the good shepherd?" I asked. "It does indeed, my wayward child," he said grinning widely. "Well, you can save your preaching for someone who has a little less colorful past." "Well, regardless, I am grateful for her return." Ed replied. "I imagine that you are, since you were on the hook for ten grand," "Yes, I was going to have a significant loss if she hadn't found her own way back." "I'm not so sure that I would characterize it as finding her own way back." "She just needed a little help. You and Lucas were her guides back to the straight and narrow." "Ed, I hope you don't really believe that," I said, seriously. "Let's say that I would like to believe it, but that I'm going to pay you your bounty because I'm sure there will be others. I would much rather you take my money than the thug." "I would rather take it, than have him take it for sure," I said, with a smile. "Hey, boss lady, did we do good or what?" Lucas asked, walking through the front door with a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. "We did very good, but we were also very lucky," I replied. "Better to be lucky than good," he said, quoting me. "Yes, but better to be stinking rich than either," I added for him. I held up my coffee cup to Lucas, and said, "Here's to us, and those like us, damn few left." "He didn't know what to make of it and I didn't explain." The day turned out to be so routine that it was almost boring. It would have been, had I not spotted Lori's boyfriend Robbie hanging around the park across the street from the office. "So what do you think he wants?" I asked of both men. "You," Ed said, reaching for the phone. "Hold off, Ed, maybe he wants Lucas. If so, we should just deliver him up." "Not funny, Max," Lucas said. "Well, before we call the cops, one of us should walk over and see what he wants." "I'll go," Lucas said. "No, you stay here with your cell phone camera. I want whatever happens on tape, so that there is no question that I killed his ass in self-defense." I took the Glock 10mm from the storage room. It came in a pancake butt holster with a spring clip. It was easy to push on my wide leather belt just above my ass. It was the best place to conceal it. At least, the best one that was easy to get to. I took a long sip of coffee then walked across the street. ""What the fuck you doing stalking me?" I asked, all tensed up. I was in the fight or flight mode and nothing I could do but wait. "No, Ma'am, I'm here working up the courage to go into Mr. Martin's office." "What you want Ed for? Your problem is with me." "It ain't like that. I need to see about bail for Lori." I almost choked trying to swallow my laughter. "Well, come on and get it over with. You are making us all nervous." I walked behind him as we crossed the street. I could hardly contain myself when he stammered his way through begging Ed to go Lori's bond. "Son, you are out of your mind. Your girlfriend is a lying drunk. There is no way I will go her bond. See if you can find somebody with a house to put that up instead." I started to lunch right after Robbie left the office. It was early, but I was bored. I was almost in the car when Lucas rushed out. "Hey, can I come along?" "Long as you pay your own way, you are always welcome." He settled into the passenger seat, then I pulled from the parking space. "So anywhere you want to go?" "Not really, I just wanted to have lunch with you." He smiled one of those mysterious smiles young men have. I am never sure if it's just I don't know what it means, or if it means nothing at all. I think most of the time they don't know either. "Well, I can always use the company, but it's not usual that I have lunch with anyone. So you are going to have to come up with places to go or settle for what I usually have."