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Evolution In A Nutshell

By: cward2



I awoke to find that I had been turned into a walnut. 

A walnut. 

How or why this happened I'm not sure but it just did. As I sat there with all the other walnuts I thought about the last few days. As my memories slowly came together, it seemed, that perhaps this was part of some grand plan. Or maybe not.

Evolution is a strange thing. You know it happens but don't actually participate in it.

Perhaps evolution might help explain the events of the last few days.

I was born on the first day. 

Naked, invisible, powerless. For we are so small, that a trillion of us could fit on a pinhead. As my naked body squirmed and twisted, I heard the voices of my brothers in my head. A chorus of a billion others all screaming in my head. It was driving me insane.

I had to get out. Quickly. 

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. It seemed as if the nest was a prison, its walls lined with razors. 

As time passed, it seemed as if I would spend an eternity here. But that changed. As my naked body lay asleep, I heard the sound of a distant crashing in my mind. The walls were shaking violently, the invisible dust coating my brothers who slept in the corners. Something was coming. I could almost feel its presence, gnawing the walls of the nest.

I woke to the sound of a screaming siren. As we rushed out, I only see a glimpse of the monster, for a bright light coated its red body. An enormous red blob was headed this way. Its red skin had large holes which each had large jaws complete with sharp teeth. It was hungry and we were its snack. A head reached out and swallowed one of my brothers. Its translucent body was swallowed up like water down a plughole.

As I froze in terror, I could see its shadow gently descending on me. I ran blindly through the maze like nest, ducking in and out of the alleys. But as I ran, it ran faster. As its large jaws gazed hungrily at me, I slipped and fell down. 

Darkness. That's what I remember next. As I fell, I saw nothing but darkness for what seemed an eternity. 

That was yesterday.

Warm rays of sunlight greeted me as I came to. I felt different. It seemed as if I weighed a ton. And I could see different things. I wasn't in a nest but somewhere else. Large brown skyscrapers were everywhere with large flat green things hanging off them. Drops of liquid fell gently with every movement. It was all so strange to me. 

As I stood admiring it all, a bizarre flying thing came over. I'm not sure what it was. It had a long body with huge thin things on either side. It had these bright purple and red stripes all over its body. Its face was just creepy. It had these huge bulging eyes and tiny mouth. 

"Greetings stranger" came the shrill voice.

"Uh, hi" 

"So, you knew to the town? I don't think I've seen you before"

"Probably. Er, can I ask you what I am?" 

"Oh, right. Your what we call a Centipede. One of us, an insect"

"But what do I look like?"

He/she or whatever sex it was (I couldn't tell) picked me up and put me next to what it called a 'puddle'. It was a little lake of fallen 'rain'. That's stuff from the sky. No, I don't know how that happens either.

As I glanced at myself, my body shuddered. I was big. I was tough. I was..an insect? Bright red scales, thick as coconuts, covered my body. And I had lots of little feet to help me move. It was just sooo cool. My eyes were amazing. I could see everything.

And what a world was there to see.

I was in what the creature (whom I learnt was called a 'Dragonfly') called a rainforest. Those big brown skyscrapers were trees and the green things, leaves. There were lots of different creatures in the world. Some good. Some bad. And some very, very bad. As I relaxed on the bright green leaves, I could feel sweat dripping off my long, lithe body. For company, I had the ever-present call of the monkeys and birds. The sunlight would constantly trickle through the treetops lighting up the pools that sat on the forest floor. 

As the hours passed, the calls went away. Night had arrived and their came a strange scuttling on the forest floor. I gazed down and noticed something big and black prowling about. It was what the dragonfly had called a 'Panther'. It was covered in a thick blanket of black velvet that made it seem as if it was part of night itself. As I gazed at its reflection in the moonlight pool, I had a strange feeling that it was watching at me. I could see it pacing up and down, looking for prey. But I quickly relaxed, knowing I would be too small a snack for the panther.

Or so I thought…

"Hey you! The small ugly thing up there!" came a loud, brash voice

I looked down to see it calling at me. Its large whiskers seemed to resonate with every sound that it made. 

"Oh hi. Can I help you, Mr…?"

"Its Mr Panther to you, Wise guy"

"Well I'm actually a…"

"I want to play with you!" it lied.

I thought about his proposition carefully.

"No"

"That's okay"

That was strange, I thought. Normally, these creatures get really angry. But this was different. Maybe it wasn't actually a Panther. But as I settled down to sleep, I felt a strange shaking sensation. It was as if the entire forest was shaking around me. I got up and looked around. A glanced a couple of big black paws that were shaking the tree. My tiny claws were no match for his strength. As I struggled to hold on, my grip started to slowly loosen.

The fall was painless. I don't think that I broke anything. As I felt his warm breath on my miniscule body, I curled up into a ball and decided to try and run for it. But it was a futile effort. I could feel the rubbery pads of the back of his paw push me one way, then another. Once in a while, a deep laugh would come from my tormentor. As the moon passed, he grew bored. And hungry. I heard his belly roar, the noise alone scared me to death.

As he picked me up and started to drop me into his mouth, I felt something sharp grab me. I started to move and the ground seemed to get smaller and smaller. Gone were the Panther and the trees. The only companions I had were my mysterious captor and the clouds. 

Hours passed.

I woke to find myself falling. Again. But thankfully, it wasn't completely dark. I could make out the shimmering shape of water. 

That was yesterday.

I woke to find that the rainforest had gone. Wherever I was there weren't any trees. Or insects. Or birds. Or anything. It was crazy. It seemed so blurry and everything was blue. Wait. That's better. I gazed out at the landscape. Nothing. Not a soul.

But I knew one thing. I was in the Ocean. The water was nice and hot, the way I liked it. There weren't any plants or anything, just sand and lots and lots of water. Great. No one to talk to. As I wandered about the ocean, I searched for others of my kind. And that's when it hit me. 

Quite literally.

There I was, minding my own business when a blur of red and silver hit me. It was moving very, very quickly. Well, until it stopped.

"Sorry about that" came a lady-like voice.

After my head had stopped spinning, I notice something next to me. It was what was called a 'fish'. The thing was small and silvery. Bright red scales covered its body and it had these rather bizarre things called fins on its belly and sides. It had a pretty tail and its eyes were big and green. 

"Er, what I am?"

"You're a fish, silly. To be more specific a Squirrelfish"

"Comeonahurryupa. Unlessyouwanttobesharkfood" came a gruff voice at the front of the shoal.

"Who's that?"

"Oh that's Bob, he's the shoal leader. Don't mind him. Now come on"

Hours passed. Just like the other days, I found out more and more of this particular life. We would feed, then sleep, then breed. Such was the life of a fish. It wasn't exactly a great life and one that I wasn't particularly keen to be a part of. I had spent days being other things and this was certainly the dullest. There I was, this small fish, swimming, eating and trying to avoid either being eaten by other fish or being caught and eaten by bigger fish. 

So I decided to try something stupid. I would deliberately try and get caught. Or eaten.

As the shoal moved on, I called out loudly:

"Hey sharks! Come and get me!"

I heard the familiar growl and then a loud thud. As I watched the stars, I saw the angry face of the old fish.

"Heywhatchatryingtodo? Geteveryonakilled?"

"Nope" I lied

"Don't you have a sense of humour?"

"Notwhenitinvolves mysurvivalah you stupidlittleassholea"

As we carried on moving, I noticed some dark shadows moving towards us. I smiled, knowing the consequences.

And finally they came.

As we stopped to rest, a horde of shadows came. A blurry shadow came and drove through the shoal, colouring the water red. I stopped and smiled. Excitement at last. Besides they were going to die anyway. 

I noticed a shadow approaching me.

Time to run. As I sped quickly, I could feel them gaining. Until I was..

Swallowed.

Yes swallowed. The idiot shark swallowed me. Not chewed or bitten but swallowed. Maybe it was elderly and didn't have any teeth or something. As I slid down its throat, the bright pink hues of the stomach lining greeted me. And with a loud splash, I ended up in those tasty juices of his. Great.

As I slowly started to dissolve in the Shark's stomach, I frantically tried to swim out. But it was too slippery. As my flesh started to melt away, I passed out. Gone were those red and silver scales. My fins went next. Finally to go were those big black eyes of mine.

And then came the darkness.

My bones were ejected and once more I was thrown into the dark sea. 

I changed once more.

I woke to chaos. The sky was raining fire, colouring the sky ash with the occasional flashes of red adding to the hellish scene. In the distant horizon, I could see volcanoes erupting. Not one but a whole chain of them. Plumes of steam could be seen rising from the sea. As I gazed in both shock and awe, I could see the streams of bloody lava slowly coming this way. 

I wondered what I was this time. 

I turned and gazed at the sea. I was a lizard. A big dumb lizard. Or an iguana to be precise. Whatever they are. Although I liked the heat, I knew it wouldn't be long before everything would be consumed in a single flash of fire.

As sweat slowly poured down my graphite coloured scales, I heard a quiet voice whisper:

" Hey you!"

I turned round to see a large turtle calling me from the water.

"Yeah, what do you want?" 

" You do know your going to die"

I couldn't swim and the lava was coming closer and closer.

"See ya" 

I got up slowly and started to walk backwards. One step at a time. As I entered the water, I could feel myself drowning. My large tail splashed frantically, but it was no use. I was heavy as a lead weight and sinking. Fast. 

It must have been hours since I regained consciousness.

The salty sea air greeted me as I woke. I was alive. Thank the heavens. Thank everyone. I was alive! But who or what was I?

I looked around. There was nothing but clouds and a pale coloured sky. It could only mean one thing…I was flying. 

"Yahoo!" I cried

As I beat my silver wings, I decided to soar down to gaze at the sea below. A strange fog covered the area but underneath it, I could see shoals of fish swimming around. 

The loud crash of water heralded my return. As soon as I had appeared, the fish swam like crazy.

All I could was the frantic cry of "PELICAN!!"

So that's what I was called. 

"Wait! I just want to talk to you"

But there was no reply. Bah, I thought, who needs them. I can go anywhere and do anything. But it was just then that I heard the strange sound of something moving quickly in the water. Two large spinning things were heading my way. I swam back out and gazed at the monster.

It was hideous. It was like a large white whale with vast green wings that was moving very slowly in the water. Large waves were created as it moved.

Time to investigate, I thought.

As I hovered above it, I noticed that two large apes were on board. They were like monkeys but bigger and much hairier. They also smelt pretty bad. I couldn't understand them but they were waving their hands at me and making strange noises. Maybe this was one of their mating rituals. 

But before you knew it, I was tangled in the wings. I could feel my feathers being slowly woven by its grip. And my neck…my beautiful white neck was slowly choking. As the world slowly spun round and round, I eventually blacked out.

I'm not sure what happened but I had changed again. 

As I came to my feet, I looked around. It was a forest but not like the other one. These trees were much bigger and they smelt funny. There were lots of little dark green needles all over the place and small little brown cones everywhere. Rain soaked branches glistened in the warm sunlight that filtered through the tree tops. Little furry creatures with bushy tails scampered up the trees carrying nuts. It was all so pleasant. Yet the biggest scare was to come. I found a puddle nearby and peered at my reflection. 

I stood back in amazement.

I was huge. For when I stood upright, I was far bigger than all the other creatures. And this fur! I had this thick dark brown fur all over my body. It was just so comfy. I called out and the trees shook. 

I was home.

As the hours passed, night slowly came. The sky had changed from a pleasant shade of blue to a dark shade of black. The pale light of the full moon shone over the forest, coating everything with gentle warmth.

As I stood there admiring the view, I felt something in the back of my neck. It was very, very hot and seemed oddly metallic. Blood ran like tears down my fur, staining it a shade of crimson. 

As the world spun quicker and quicker, I slumped to the floor. 

And that's the last thing I remember before waking up as a…walnut.

Evolution is a dangerous thing. Don't let it happen to you.