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Can I Find My Way Back Home?

By: sexygirl76



Chapter 1

As I walked down the cold, dark street, I pulled my cold hand out of my jacket pocket. Running my fingers through my long, stringy brown hair I looked up and down the street.

It was as deserted as it had been an hour ago when I spent the five dollars the trucker had given me on a meal. I had no idea where I was, or how long I had been traveling. It seemed like forever to me. 

Forcing my hand back into my pocket and lowering my head against the cold wind, I almost missed the headlights come up behind me. Praying and hoping, I held out my thumb. At first it seemed like the semi was going to go on by. I watched as the May trucking sign flew past me. I sighed as I put my hand back into my pocket and continued walking when suddenly the truck stopped. 

I stood there and watched as the passenger door opened. Not sure what to do, I half ran, half walked towards the cab. When I reached it, I pulled myself up and looked at the driver. 

He was an older guy with black shoulder length hair dotted with gray. His face was covered by a bushy beard and mustache. I watched as his eyes moved over me. Then when they reached my face, he smiled. "You gonna stand there all night or get in?" He asked smiling. "The heater doesn't work to well on the outside."

Looking around the truck, I wondered what kind of payment this guy would want if I went ahead and took the ride. So far I had been lucky but there was always a first time. Standing on the step, holding onto the door, I looked around the truck. There were log books sitting on the floor between the two seats. In the sleeper I saw a sleeping bag unfolded and laying on what seemed like a twin mattress. A half a sandwich was laying on the passenger seat along with a thermos that I figured must have had coffee in it. "Where are you heading?" I asked.

He smiled at me again and chuckled. "I'm heading to Atlanta to see my wife and kids. I promise you'll be safe if you want a ride."

It was as if he had read my mind. I looked at him shrewdly for a minute deciding which way would be better. Taking a chance with him or freezing to death. "Why did you stop?" I asked as I slowly climbed into the cab.

He waited until I was warming up to the heater before he answered. "I don't like to see anyone out alone on Christmas Eve."

I looked at him with a startled expression as he shifted gears, "Christmas Eve?"

He smiled at me as he pulled back onto the dark road. "That's right. I was hoping I could get home before Christmas but had a load to Seattle take longer then I was figuring on." He looked at me for a minute before turning his eyes back to the road. "Do you even have any idea where you are or where you're going?" He asked taking a drink of something from a cup on the dash.

I looked out the window as I answered. "Where I'm going? No. Where I am? I think I'm somewhere in Oklahoma. But I'm not sure."

The man chuckled. "Actually we're just outside of Dallas."

I looked at him. "But how can that be. The last I looked I was in Oklahoma. What am I doing in Texas?"

"Beats me, where did you start out? Maybe you went the wrong way."

I looked at him shrewdly debating on how much I should tell him. Finally I decided that the truth was better then a lie. I snuggled down in my jacket and looked out at the dark sky. "I started in Aurora, Oregon six months ago. I've been on the road ever since."

I heard him shift gears again and sigh. I looked at him but he was watching the road. "What is a girl like you doing on the road? I can tell by your clothes that you are definitely not poor." 

I looked down at the designer jeans, 300.00 cowboy boots and denim tank top that I was wearing. Along with the beat up jean jacket then I looked at him again. Before I could say a word though he continued; "Just looking at the diamond and amethyst ring on your finger and the Rolex watch on your wrist I would say that you are a very wealthy woman. What could possibly make you leave that and pick hitchhiking?"

I looked back out at the night sky and thought about what he had said. It did seem kind of peculiar, although I couldn't remember why I left in the first place. "To be honest, I don't remember."

I felt him look at me. "Amnesia?"

I smiled. "I don't think so, I know my name and where I'm from. I just can't seem to remember much about my life or for that matter why I left. Or even where I'm going. All I know is that I can't go home."

He was quiet for a while so I looked out the window on my side, just watching the darkness engulf the scenery. After what seemed like hours, but actually couldn't have been more then 15 or 20 minutes, I saw lights as we came into a town.

I watched as he pulled into a TA parking lot. The lights from the building hurt my eyes so I lowered them into my jacket. When I heard him turn off the truck I turned to look at him.

I flinched as he reached out his hand but all he did is stroke my hair and smile. "I'm not going to hurt you." he said softly. "What's your name?"

I looked at him for a minute then said, "Laurie. Laurie Miller."

"Well Laurie. My name is Jake Taylor. I'm at my limit for the night. No more driving for at least 8 hours so here is what I'm gonna do. If you wanna go to Atlanta with me you are more then welcome. I'm gonna get a room and get some sleep. Looking at you I think you could use some to along with a decent meal."

I blushed as he said this and looked out the window. "I don't have any money." I said not looking at him.

He just chuckled again, making me look at him. "And I won't sleep with you for a place to sleep and food or a ride."

This made him laugh out loud. "Well as tempting as that sounds I'm too tired tonight to do more then sleep anyway. Besides I would never ask that of you or anyone. I may be a trucker and there may be a lot of rumors about what us truckers do when we're away from home but let me tell you. I've been married for 35 years. I am happily married and have never strayed. Nor do I plan to ever stray. I am perfectly happy with what I have at home."

I lowered my eyes suddenly feeling ashamed of the thoughts I had of this kind man. "I'm sorry." I said not looking at him.

He lifted my head with his finger and smiled. "Don't worry about it. Now as I was saying. You don't need to pay me back or anything. To be honest it would be nice just having the company." 

I watched him reach into the glove box and pull out a weathered old wallet. Opening it up, he pulled out some money and handed it to me. Before I could protest he smiled. "Take the money. I want you to get you some clothes, those look like they could stand up by themselves." He looked down at my clothes. I looked to and started to laugh. The jeans were covered in mud along with my boots. The shirt had a stain on it that looked like ketchup.

Clutching the money in my hand I smiled at him then suddenly threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. But why are you doing this?"

He pulled me away from him and smiled. "Well for one I don't think anyone should be alone on Christmas Eve. For two you remind me a little bit of my daughter and if she was ever in this predicament I would hope that someone would do the same thing for her. Now come on, let's go get a room." 

I watched him as he made sure everything was shut down then climbed out of the truck. As I climbed down I thought that maybe for once something would be okay.

I was walking through the shop carrying a pair of jeans and a shirt and looking for anything else I might need when I saw Jake walk up. "Find everything?" He asked looking at the small bundle in my arms.

"I think so," I said picking up a brush and some hair ties. "Get the room?" I asked as we walked towards the counter.

"Yup, Room 413, with two double beds," he replied showing me a room key.

"Cool." I put my things on the counter then smiled at him. "I don't know how I can ever thank you for this."

He smiled at me then said. "Well for starters you can take a shower. No offense girl, but you stink."

I laughed as I paid for my things. "I'm sure I do. I haven't had a shower in almost a month." I said taking my bag and change.

"How come it's been so long?" he asked as we walked towards an elevator.

"I haven't had the money. I would get a little money from the truckers I got rides from but that would always go for food. I would eat cheap so I could make it last as long as I could. I never knew when my next meal would be coming."

I saw him look at me as we stepped into the elevator but thankfully he didn't say anything.

After my shower, I came out of the bathroom dressed in a robe from the motel. Looking over at one of the beds, I saw that Jake was curled up under the covers fast asleep. Smiling, I moved over the other bed and started to untangle my hair. He had told me that there was room service and I could order anything I wanted, but after my shower, all I really wanted was sleep. I figured I would eat in the morning. 

Without taking off the robe or even getting under the covers, I lay down on the bed and fell fast asleep. As I drifted off I started to remember something that I was sure for some reason I was trying to forget.

***

Opening my eyes, I stared into eyes the color of night. A small smile was on my lips I looked at the man who was now my husband. I was nineteen, and had just become the wife of the most sought after bachelor in town. His name was Peter Miller but everyone just called him Hawk because of the hawk tattoo on his back. He was 24 and had just gotten out of the army. Now he ran the Miller construction company that he and his brother Michael owned together. 

Hawk was the most handsome man I could ever remember meeting. His midnight black hair rested on his broad shoulders that filled out the tux he was wearing very well. My hands were resting on his narrow hips and I thought that no one could possibly be as happy as I was right now.

I was drawn out of my reverie by claps and yells from the people around us. "I think we're supposed to do something." I whispered softly against his lips.

"There isn't anything I would rather be doing right now then kissing you." He whispered back. Then as if to prove his point he kissed me again. This got a huge response from the rest of the people in the church. I finally pulled away from him when I felt a hand on my shoulder. 

Turning away from Hawk, I smiled at my father. "You look beautiful honey." He said his sea green eyes sparkling with tears. 

"Oh daddy, you're not going to cry, are you?" I asked hugging him tightly.

He cleared his throat. "Of course not." Although I could hear his voice breaking. "I just don't believe that my little girl has gotten married or that you are having a baby. You're growing up to fast for your old man."

I chuckled as he held me at arms length. I watched him look past me to Hawk who was resting his hands on my shoulders. "You take good care of my little girl."

"I promise sir." I heard Hawk reply.

A little while later, I danced in my fathers' arms. "You know, you surprised everyone when you married Hawk instead of Michael." Dad said as he twirled me to the music.

I rested my head against his chest and sighed. "Dad, we have been through this. I gave Michael the choice of me or the army. He took the army. He said he wanted to travel and see the world. That he wasn't ready to settle down yet. "

"Well as long as Hawk makes you happy." dad said as the music stopped.

I moved out of his arms and smiled. "Yes daddy, he makes me very happy." then without another word I crossed the room to my husbands side.

Hawk was talking to Michael who had gotten a two week leave before he left for Italy to come to the wedding. "Congratulations Laurie." he said kissing me softly on the cheek.

"Thank you Michael. I'm glad you could come." Hawk must have sensed the tension between his brother and me because he put his arm around me while smiling at his brother. 

"Michael just told me that he is thinking about leaving the army." Hawk said looking at his brother.

I looked at Michael with shock written all over my face. "Really, I thought you were happy with the military. You told me that you wanted to see the world. That's why you enlisted in the first place."

Michael had the decency to blush before he stammered. "Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking and since dad died I feel like I should be here. You know mom isn't doing all that well and besides I figure I should help my little brother run the company now that dad isn't there to help."

"Well I'm sure that Hawk wouldn't argue." I said sweetly. "As it is, maybe it would be good after all then maybe I could get to see him more."

Hawk laughed at this and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm going to get some punch. Plus I see mom and I want to see how she is doing. Why don't you two dance?" Hawk said pulling Michael and I together while he slowly pulled away.

Before I could reply I was in Michael's arms and he was turning me around the floor while I watched Hawk move over to his mothers' side.

Moving my eyes from my husband I looked at my brother. "Why didn't you tell him the truth?"

I felt Michael's hand tighten on mine. "What was I supposed to tell him? That I was dishonorably discharged because they found me in bed with my captain, who just happens to be a man?"

I turned my face away from his, and then looked back at him. "Michael, are you ever going to tell Hawk or anyone else the reason we really broke up? Or are you just going to let them believe that it was because of the military?"

I felt Michael step on my foot as he missed a step in the dance. "I don't know." He replied "To be honest, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm gay myself, let alone ruining Hawk's life or anyone else's. "

For a minute it was as if the music had stopped. I didn't hear it; all I heard was Michael's heart beating against my ear. I stopped dancing and just stood there in the middle of the floor. I watched couples dance around us but none of them mattered. Only Michael mattered at that moment. Watching the other dancers, I grasped Michael's hand in mine and pulled him off the dance floor. 

When we reached the French doors, I pulled them open and pulled him outside closing them behind us. 

I looked up at the moon, and then turned back to him. "Michael, you have to tell him. Hawk has a right to know."

Michael looked at me as if I had just told him he had a terminal disease. "Why? Why does he have to know? "

I looked at him for a moment then walked over to the other side of the terrace. Resting my hands on the banister, I looked out over the gardens of my mother's house. I always thought she had the most beautiful gardens. The roses wound their way around the statues that were silhouetted in the moonlight. Sighing deeply I turned back to Michael. "Did Hawk ever tell you why he left the military?"

Michael thought about it for a minute. "He said that it was because he was in love with you and he knew how you felt about him being in the military so he got out because of you."

I chuckled at this. "Well that is partially true but not completely. "I looked at him and forced a smile. "Michael, he got out because of you."

Michael gaped at me for a full minute before he seemed to be able to find his voice. "What do you mean he got out because of me?"

I walked over to him and rested my hand against his face. "He got out because you went in."

Michael looked at me like I was speaking Greek or some other foreign language he didn't understand. "I don't understand what you are trying to say."

I turned away from him and rested against the banister again. "Michael, Hawk knew how much I loved you. Even if he didn't know that you didn't share it. When he found out that you had decided you would rather be in the military then be with me, he felt like he should be here to take your place. "

I felt his eyes on my back as he digested what I told him. "Well, why would he do that? I mean what does you and me breaking up have to do with him?" He asked placing his hand on my shoulder.

I turned to look at him with tears in my eyes. I looked into his chocolate brown eyes and told him the secret that I had held for most of my life. "My parents and your parents decided a long time ago that it would be a good idea to connect our two families. They both admitted that it was because of business. Miller construction and Burke construction would do well if combined. Why do you think that your dad had been pushing you and Hawk both to enter the family business? 

Michael looked at me. "I never really thought about it, you want the truth."

"Well I don't think Hawk thought about it either until your dad told him what I am about to tell you. When I was born, my parents and your parents decided that when I was old enough I would marry either you or your brother. I had no say in the matter, even though this is the 20th century and arranged marriages aren't done anymore. 

"Anyway, originally they wanted me to marry you, even though you are ten years older then I am and Hawk is closer to my age. They thought it would be best because you would inherit the company when your father died and Hawk would just get his inheritance. But you would be in control of the company so they felt that it would be best if you and I wed. When I first told my parents that you had decided you wanted to go into the military instead of being with me. They went off the wall." 

I moved away from the banister and walked slowly across the terrace. I felt like I needed to put some space between us. Sighing deeply, I finally turned back to look at him. "My dad told me that you and I couldn't break up. That you and I had to marry one day." I saw Michael's face go white as a sheet as I continued. "When I asked him why, he just said that it was my mom and his wish that I marry you. When I told them that there was no way I was going to marry you so they could just forget it. Dad threatened to lock me in my bedroom until I gave in."

"You didn't tell them the truth about why we broke up?" Michael asked his voice shaking.

Before I could reply, I heard the French doors open and someone come outside. Turning in that direction, I looked into the face of Hawk. "There you are. I was wondering where you disappeared to." He said coming towards me and wrapping his arms around me. "Oh baby, you're shivering. Come back inside."

I pulled out of Hawks embrace and looked at him. "I'll be in, in a few minutes. I'm talking to Michael right now."

I saw Hawk look from me to his brother then back to me. "Is everything okay?" He asked seeing Michael's white face.

I heard Michael take a deep breath and say. "Yes Hawk, everything is fine. You go on back into the party and we will be right there."

Hawk looked suspiciously at his brother, then turned back to me and smiled. "Okay but don't be to long. They are about ready to cut the cake."

I kissed him softly. "I won't."

Hawk hugged me to him. Gave his brother another strange look then went back inside. Once he was gone I turned back to Michael. "In answer to your question, no I didn't tell them the real reason. I felt there was no point in it."

Michael seemed to relax at that.

"What I'm saying though is when your dad found out that you and I had split up and that you had decided you wanted to go into the military he called Hawk. During one of Hawk's leaves he told me what I have told you. I finally got the truth out of my dad one night after Hawk had taken me home from dinner. 

"Hawk was the one who originally told me about the merger and that since I wasn't going to marry you then I would have to marry him. That is also the night that Hawk proposed. I didn't know him very well at the time but since it seemed I had no say in the matter. I said yes."


Can I Find My Way Back Home?



Michael looked at me with regret in his eyes. "So it is possible that the only reason Hawk married you is because of the merger?"

I lowered my head so he wouldn't see the tears that lingered there. "Yes, it is possible. But I love Hawk. If that is the only reason he married me then I will have to deal with that. But I don't think it is. I think in his own way, Hawk loves me."

I walked over and put my hand on Michael's shoulder. "Now do you understand why you have to tell him? He has a right to know that if he was forced into marrying me, he has you to blame for it."

Michael hung his head. "Yes, you're right. I'll tell him when you guys get back from your honeymoon."

"No Michael. Tell him tonight."

He looked at me. "I don't want to ruin his wedding night or yours."

I smiled bitterly. "If Hawk really loves me, then it won't be ruined. At least then I will know."

Michael smiled at me softly. "You are an amazing woman Laurie. I just hope that when Hawk said I do. He meant it."

As I watched Michael walk back into the party, I thought to myself. "So do I!"

Chapter 2

I woke to someone shaking me on the shoulder. Opening my eyes, I looked at Jake. "Hey, you okay? You were crying out in your sleep."

I looked at him then looked around me. I was still in the hotel room. I could see the sun peeking through the clouds outside the window. "Yea, I'm okay. Just a bad dream." I replied sitting up. 

Jake smiled at me as I pulled my robe closed better then it was. "What time is it?" I asked yawning.

"A little after 8." He replied as he pulled on his boots. "It's time to get something to eat and get back on the road. I should be in Atlanta sometime tomorrow if I do it right. Have you decided if your going with me or not?"

I stood up, heading for the bathroom. "Well since I don't have any other opportunities at the moment, I guess that sounds good. Just let me go the bathroom and get dressed."

"No problem." I heard him reply behind me. "You go ahead; I'll meet you down in the restaurant."

I heard the door open and close then walked into the bathroom. As I checked the clothes I had washed the night before to see if they were dry, I wondered to myself why I had dreamt about Hawk last night. I hadn't thought about him much in the six months since I had left.

That night had actually turned out good. Hawk accepted the fact that Michael was gay and even told everyone in the church that he had not married me because of a merger but because he couldn't live without me. I had cried so hard that I had completely ruined my makeup but at the time I didn't care.

An hour later, I sat in the truck stop restaurant across from Jake. The clothes I had been wearing the night before were beside me in a duffle bag that I had bought along with an extra set just in case. After we ordered, Jake smiled at me. "What?" I asked looking at him funny.

"Here." He said handing me a 2 hour phone card.

"Jake, I can't take this. You have done so much for me already." I replied trying to give it back to him.

"I want you to hang onto it," he pushed it towards me again and wouldn't stop until I had my hand wrapped around it. "When we hit Atlanta, I want you to call home. Even if you don't go home I want you to call." He continued when it looked like I was going to interrupt.

"I don't know if that is a good idea." I said looking at the card.

Jake reached out and took my hand in his. Teary eyed I looked up at him. "I don't know what you are running from. But you can't run forever. Someday you have to go back. Do you want to talk about what you are running from yet?"

I looked at him and shook my head. I wasn't ready to face it myself let alone tell anyone else. "Alright, we'll let it go for now. But you need to call home. Promise me." 

I looked down at his hand holding mine. It wasn't a tight grip but it was a comforting one. 

"I promise." I replied smiling at him again. "Thank you."

Jake smiled at me, "you're welcome." 

Just then our food came and we didn't have much more time to talk. I ate like a pig but for the first time in six months I actually felt full when we left the table. While Jake went to go pay the check, I walked towards the truck and let my mind wander.

* * *

I lay in the bed, tears stinging my eyes as I looked at Hawk. "There was nothing they could do?" I asked as tears streamed silently down my cheeks.

Hawk reached out and grasped my hand with his. When he looked into my eyes, I could see the pain and the sorrow. "No, they were killed instantly. From what the officer said, the truck hit them head on. They never even saw it coming."

"But they were coming to see their granddaughter." I cried trying to pull my hand away from his. "They were supposed to be fine. They were so happy when I told them last night that she was coming."

Hawk just rested his head against my breasts and cried. I knew how much he thought of my parents. It was so hard to believe that they were gone. They would never see the little girl who was born two weeks early. "

I laid my head back against the pillow as tears ran silently down my cheeks. When the nurse brought my daughter in to be fed, I just held her automatically to my breast and let her suckle. I couldn't even bring myself to be happy that I had a beautiful baby in my arms. 

"What are you going to name her?" 

I looked up at Michael. I was laying the hospital room holding my tiny daughter in my arms as she slept peacefully. Hawk had gone downstairs to get some coffee and hadn't come back up yet. Michael and his partner Tim were sitting in chairs by the bed looking at her. 

"Um, Cheyenne Rose." I said running my finger slowly over the small tuft of reddish-brown hair that she had. "I'm naming her after my mother. Her name was rose and she always liked the name Cheyenne."

"She's beautiful." Tim said smiling at me. I looked at the man that Michael had decided to make his partner in life and in bed. He was a good looking man in his own way. Tim was 35, with short red hair and deep green eyes. He had a good body and seemed to be a gentle person. He had discovered that he was gay when he was 18. Michael had met him in an online chat room and they had hit it off right from the beginning. 

Just then Hawk walked into the room carrying a cup of coffee and looking as thought he had been run over with a steam iron. 'Hey Michael, When did you get here?" He asked hugging his brother.

"Just a few minutes ago." Michael replied. "Geez bro, you look like hell."

"Yeah, well I feel like it. Having a baby coming into the world and finding out that yours have been killed in a car accident in the same day isn't exactly the greatest thing in the world."

Michael looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. "Yea, I'm sorry about your parents."

I just forced a smile and held my daughter closer to me. I felt that if it wasn't for her, my life would have no meaning. 

When the nurse came in a little while later, and said that everyone needed to leave so I could get some rest, I smiled at everyone before they left. Hawk said he would be back later. Kissing him softly, I laid down with my daughter snuggled closely in my arms and within moments I was asleep.

Over the next three years life seemed to go on like normal. I stayed at home and raised Cheyenne while Hawk worked. I videotaped all of her firsts. The first time she crawled, the first time she rolled over, or walked and even her first word. I had it all on tape.

I was sitting at home one night, watching a tape of Cheyenne's first birthday party when the doorbell rang. Hitting pause on the tape, I got up and answered the door. 

Michael was standing there, dressed as if he had just come home from a party. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and a white shirt, which was opened at the collar. "Hey Michael, What's up?" I asked moving back so he could come into the room.

"Have you heard from Hawk?" He asked as I closed the door behind him.

"No why?"

"Well he's supposed to be home sometime tomorrow and I wanted to know what time because we had a guy come by the office today that wants to meet with him about something that should boost our business."

I smiled at Michael. "I don't know. I can call his hotel room and find out. Hang on a second." Michael followed me over to the couch. Sitting down, I picked up the phone and proceeded to dial the hotel where Hawk was staying in London.

"Belage hotel." a sleepy voice said on the other end of the line.

"Room 222 please." I said cheerfully.

"Just a minute." There was a pause then the phone on the other end started to ring. The phone rang about three times, and then I heard a voice that definitely wasn't Hawks.

"Hello?"

I was quiet for a minute, and then finally found my voice. "Yes, is Hawk there?"

Michael gave me a quizzical look but I just shook my head at him. "Yes he is dear," the female voice said smoothly. "Just one second."

I heard her call Hawk's name then a couple seconds later, I heard his voice. "Hello?"

"Hey Hawk. It's me. Michael wants to know what time to pick you up at the airport tomorrow?"

"Oh hey babe, I should probably be in around one or two." Hawk said sounding genuinely happy to hear my voice. It just broke my heart in two.

"That's great. I'll let him know." I said trying to keep my voice from cracking as tears ran down my cheeks. 

"Ok honey, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." Hawk said cheerfully as I heard someone call his name from the background.

For a minute I thought maybe I had made a mistake until just as I was about to hang up I heard the woman's voice again. She was talking softly into Hawk's ear from the way it sounded. I slammed the phone down and unplugged it then turned to Michael.

"What's going on?" Michael asked looking at me worriedly.

"Michael I need you to take Cheyenne over to your mothers." I said wiping the tears from my cheeks.

"Laurie, what is it?" He asked grasping my arm.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Hawk is having an affair. I need you to take Cheyenne to your mothers until he gets back."

Michael looked at me with a stunned look on his face. "What??? What do you mean he is having an affair? Hawk loves you."

"Well obviously not. Please just do as I ask. I need to get out of here."

Michael stood up when I did. "Where are you going to go?"

I looked at him with tears streaming down my cheeks. "I don't know. I'll get in touch with you as soon as I get settled somewhere. Just take good care of Cheyenne for me."

His eyes were full of pain, but all he did was nod. 

Michael followed me into Cheyenne's room. She was lying on her side with her thumb in her mouth. She looked so peaceful. I hated to wake her. Grabbing some of her clothes, I threw them into a bag and handed the bag to Michael. Then I went over and gently shook my daughter awake. 

"Momma?" she said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes with her small hands.

"Yes sweetie. You need to wake up now. You're going to go with Uncle Michael to go visit with grandma for a while."

She looked past me to Michael who just smiled. "Okay mamma." she said between yawns. Cheyenne pushed back the covers and pulled herself up in bed. 

While Michael waited outside, I got Cheyenne dressed. A few minutes later, we walked out into the living room. Cheyenne was dressed in a summer dress and sandals. Her shoulder length reddish-brown hair tussled from sleep.

I watched Michael and Cheyenne leave then sat down to write Hawk a note:

"Dear Hawk:

I now know why you have been staying in London so much. Obviously it isn't just business like you have said. Well I am tired of it. I love you but I will not stay with a man that I can't trust.

Take care of our daughter.

Yours truly,

Laurie."

Folding the letter in half, I set it on the table by the TV where I was sure he would find it, and then walked into the bedroom. I pulled on my boots and jean jacket, and then grabbed the 200.00 that I had put away in my nightstand drawer for Hawk's birthday present. 

Grabbing my id out of my purse I left the rest sitting on the bed. I looked around the room one more time, and then walked out of the room into the living room. I looked at the picture of Hawk and I on our wedding day. We were so happy then. Grabbing that picture and one of Cheyenne, I walked out of the house and never looked back.

Chapter 3

I looked at Jake with tears in my eyes. We had been on the road for a couple of hours and my mind had wandered again. I was thinking not only of Hawk but of my daughter who I had left behind. 

He squeezed my shoulder lightly then put his hand back on the wheel. I don't know why I trusted him but I did. Suddenly I started to speak. "My husband is having an affair. I called his hotel room in London the night I left and a woman answered." I wiped my eyes on my jacket sleeve. 

"My brother was there. He needed to talk to Hawk about something to do with the business. I gave my daughter to him to take to his mother's house until Hawk got home." I pulled the picture of Cheyenne out of my inside jacket pocket and looked at it as tears swam down my cheeks. 

I forced myself to keep talking. "I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. All I knew was that I had to get away. I hitchhiked into Portland to the Greyhound station and bought a ticket to, Sacramento. It took most of my money but I figured I didn't have much choice.

When I got to Sacramento, I got a part time job as a waitress at this little café by the bus station. I made enough in tips and wages to keep me going for a couple of weeks. Then one night the café caught fire." I laughed bitterly. "So here I was, stranded in Sacramento. No food, no money and my rent at the boarding house was due in two days."

Jake didn't say anything as I spoke. He just listened. The only sounds I heard were my own voice and the windshield wipers as they cleared away the snow. We stopped for lunch just outside of Shreveport, LA. As we waited for our food, I continued my story.

"I was sitting in the bus depot, just sitting there. I was trying to figure out what to do when this guy walked in. He walked over to me and told me he heard I needed a ride, said he was going to San Francisco but I was welcome to join him." I laughed. "'No Strings.' he promised. So I caught a ride with him to San Francisco. He gave me enough to get a hotel room for the night and a meal and then left." 

I looked down at my cheeseburger suddenly not so hungry anymore and took a drink of my soda. "That's pretty much what I've been doing the past six months. Hitching rides to wherever I can. The driver who dropped me off picked me up just outside of Oklahoma City." I looked at Jake and saw him watching me. 

"I'm sorry." he said softly. "No one should have to go through what you have gone through. Have you talked to your daughter since you left?"

I shook my head and felt tears sliding down my cheek again. "No. Jake I miss her so much. Even if Hawk doesn't want me, I want to be with my daughter. I want to be with Cheyenne."

He reached over and wiped my tears with a napkin. "We will be in Atlanta tomorrow. Call home. Laurie go home. If not for your sake then for your daughters."

I nodded and bit into my cheeseburger. I knew that no matter what happened next, I would need my strength to survive the next few days.

I looked out the window of the semi and onto the streets of Atlanta. I had never been this far from home before and in some ways it scared me. As we pulled into the Atlanta airport parking lot, I looked at Jake. He had told me he would buy me an airline ticket home. When I protested he pretended to go suddenly deaf until I stopped.

A little while later, I sat in the airport waiting for my flight. As I looked at the pictures, I knew what I had to do. Pulling the calling card out of my pocket, I walked over to a pay phone and dialed a number I knew only to well.

After three rings it was answered. "Hello?"

I caught my breath, not sure if I could do this. Then suddenly, "Hello Hawk."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment. "Laurie? Where are you? I have been worried sick. I got your note. I don't know what you are talking about me and London. The woman, who answered the phone that night, was Mrs. Mason. The man I was doing business with's wife."

I almost dropped the phone. He wasn't having an affair. It was all a mix-up. I felt like such a fool. "I'm in Atlanta and I want to come home if you still want me."

There was silence for a moment again and I was afraid he would tell me not to bother. Then he surprised me again. "Laurie, I love you. Our daughter is going crazy; she wakes up in the middle of the night crying out for you. She doesn't understand why your not there. Why you weren't there to see her open her presents on Christmas morning. She even asked Santa clause to bring mommy home." 

I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I made a mistake and I am so sorry." I cried through a cracked voice.

Hawk was quiet for a minute. "What flight are you on and when should you be here?" He asked in a resigned voice.

I told him.

"Fine," He replied. "I'll meet you at the airport. I'll take Cheyenne over to my mothers."

"No," I cried, "I want to see her."

Hawk kind of chuckled. "Don't worry, you will. But we are gonna need to talk."

I sighed. "Alright, I will meet you at the airport."

"I love you Laurie. I'll see you soon." then the phone went dead.

As I hung up the phone and went back over to wait for my flight. I wondered just what kind of reception I would get when I got home.

* * *

When I got off the plane, I looked around for Hawk. He was standing over by the security check section watching for me. When our eyes met he started walking towards me. I just stood where I was, I couldn't move. It was as if he had pinned me down with just his eyes.

When he reached me, I was sure he was going to say something or yell at me for being a fool. Instead he took my bag from my hands, pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply. 

I stood stiffly in his arms for several seconds until I felt his tongue pushing for entrance into my mouth. I gave in then and opened to him while I ran my arms behind his neck.

As we stood in the middle of the airport, locked in each others arms I knew then that no matter what happened everything would work out. I was back where I belonged. Back in the arms of the man I loved and I knew I would never have to leave again. 

I had found my way back home.

The End