0 comments/  7677 views/  0 favorites

Bullshit!

By: Egmont0409



Up there in the Top Ten of the greatest rubrics ever is, 'Get a College Degree and BIG earnings will follow'. 

Yeah, right.

Blonde and blessed with a willowy figure now all the rage although unfortunately hiring bosses still looked for applicants with big breasts, er when hiring females, Willow Wright was not altogether bright but had struggled through to possess a good college degree. She also possessed the despondency associated with twenty-seven unsuccessful job application interviews. She still worked morning shift in a Diner in the poorer end of Main Street, a position she'd held since her sophomore year.

Willow had been told the degree-big income slogan cranked out by well-meaning parents and high school advisors, well-paid to avoid prevent colleges suffering a drought of new registrations, was bullshit but ignored that comment as being 'negative', uttered by people bitter they didn't possess a degree, er like her mom.

Willow's maternal grandfather had been a Government-employed nuclear physicist but when the Cold War became a memory the Government realized it were over-manned so paid off heaps of NP's. Willow's mom was four at the time and never saw her father work again because he invested in his friend's struggling vehicle dealership that grew into the biggest vehicle seller in the city. All granddad was required to do was to go to meetings as an outside director.

His daughter Nancy, Willow's mom, cried when she was told she couldn't go to college because her bitter father railed 'Degrees are bullshit'. The tearful Nancy fled the house and that night ended up in the backseat of Dick Joseph's jalopy. Richard's father operated a homemade pies business.

Graduating from high school, Nancy began selling pies in Jo Joseph's shop, allowing his wife to retired to relieve her legs ruined by standing behind the counter all day on a concrete floor. Nancy's mother visited her daughter in a successful attempt at reconciliation after the fallout over not being allowed to go to college. Nancy decided to keep on selling pies and her mother saved her daughter's legs being ruined by insisting Joe lay down rubber matting. Joe secured sufficient rubber carpet underlay in exchange for two dozen pies.

Joe's son didn't have a degree either and used to get beaten up almost daily by his dad for being too slow at making pies. That stopped during a bashing frenzy when Nancy dropped Joe with a rolling pin.

Joe never hit his son again. He'd just rant, "You useless bastard."

That stopped when Nancy told Dick's mother that Joe was calling her son a bastard. Nobody was quite sure what happened but Nancy called Joe to the house and a few minutes later she called an ambulance. Joe was released from hospital two days later and walked on crutches. Although his legs appeared okay he walked very stiffly and painfully.

These days Dick and Nancy, as owner-operators of the Joe's Pies Franchise, are very wealthy and neither work.

Despite that background and her paternal grandfather saying he got an education degree to go teaching but that was during an oversupply of teachers in the city those days and he refused to go out to a backwater to teach. He took up a position as internal security guard and today is that bank's long-serving president. His present wife is his fifth and as far as Willow was aware none of them had degrees and all married wealthy men.

Willow left college with a bachelor's degree in business administration and was told by the first seven job interviewers to reapply when she'd gained experience.

"But how can I gain experience if I can't get a job."

The recruiters all said the same thing: "That's your problem."

Willow thought sourly that was a spike career advisors had forgot to mention.

In her final year at college she'd worked for one company and had asked about employment prospects but her big-breasted supervisor had shaken her head sadly and said, "Sorry darling you were assigned here by college placement. If you came to work here you'd be unsuccessful because you don't have big breasts/"

"What? But I'd have a college degree."

"That's a piece of paper dear. The guys who run this business like seeing recruitment potential in breast flesh."

"Breast flesh. So it's no use wearing rubber inserts for the interview?"

"Darling when discovered, as surely it would, you'd be fired instantly."

Willow told her mom about that discussion.

"Ah darling, you are learning what scrum men are."

"Well what can I do?"

"You must have plenty of sex plus go on the pill and that could enlarge your breasts and you should eat more."

"But I don't want to go on the pill and I don't want to eat more."

Her mom suggested Willow should seek counseling but dropped that idea when sighting her daughter's bared teeth and dark scowl.

"Well look around for a guy with rich parents and then check if his mother and grandmothers are divorcees."

"Why?"

"It increase your chances of having the son keep you on after marriage because the family is without a divorce tradition."

"But mom I only want sex with a guy I love. There can be no other consideration."

Her mom sighed and suggested taking Willow to Italy and Spain where she was bound to meet sexy men.

"You mean as gallery attendants?"

Her mom sighed.

Willow gained practical business experience by finishing her shift at 2:00 and then working till 7:00 in the accounting department of the city's biggest department store, attached to the credit section. If she needed a way to kill her social life then working those long hours was it.

After two years of that grind she applied for more jobs and like parrots trained by the same trainer the recruiters all said, "You need a higher degree."

So Willow returned to college to complete a master's, went on to the pill and enjoyed having sex without worry and at least twice a week measured her breasts and over time with satisfaction noted some gain. The increased sexual activity also made her hungry and she became aware she was eating more.

Willow went on a diet and to her relief regained her willowy figure but lost very little up top.

Armed with her masters in business administration and an improved record of work experience, Willow was shocked when the first HR manager who interviewed her asked was she gay.

"You are not permitted to ask me that."

"Oh a closet gay?"

"No I am not."

"Look meet me outside after work this evening and come home with me and I'll complete this interview."

Willow slapped the women and left. Fortunately no one from security came running after her and she couldn't hear police sirens when hitting the street.

Some of Willow's girlfriends were introducing her to guys looking for females to seduce but none of the girlfriends introduced her to fathers who had a job for some like Willow. It was so unfair. Anyone can find a guy to fuck but try finding your first real job is heaps more troublesome. Her parents sat her down and offered to set up her own pie franchise valued at $140,000 in start-up mode plus they would pay the first year's rental of premises. 

Willow poured them more wine. "Mom, dad this is tremendously generous of you but you darlings know I don't like pies and am apathetic toward most foods but of course not raw fruit, some naturally dried fruits and nuts. Thank you though. That was your best effort to date and I'm very proud of you."

In despair Willow went to Professor Able at college, and after sex in his office, she talked to him about her stalled career and asked about work at the college.

"You'd need a doctorate to begin as a junior lecturer and probably being gay or at least bi would help. Unfortunately I'd think you would struggle with higher studies. Of course there is the library or perhaps a position in college administration, starting as a senior clerk."

"Goodbye Prof Able."

Coming out of a failed job interview at a company that marketed varieties of imported nuts, who admitted their advertisement should have stated the position was for a marketing person, not an admin person, Willow crossed the street and entered a well-lit bar. A guy two seats down asked for another beer and turning to her said, "You appear hacked off. Another bad day?"

"I don't fuck."

He grinned and said, "Sara asked the lady what she drinks and I'll pay."

"Rum and coke please," Willow said. When she received the drink she raised her glass to the guy and he saluted her. She patted the seat beside her and for a moment or two she thought he'd remain stationary.

But he sighed and shifted over to her and said, "Look don't take this personally but I have no money to fuck bargirls."

She grinned and said join the club and almost fell off her barstool laughing when the guy said, "What you fuck bargirls?"

"No you idiot, I'm also short of money. I'm trying to get a job."

"Me too, a well paying one."

"Do you have a degree?"

He said sure, a master's in computer science.

"That's odd," she said, "but weren't you assured a good degree would get you a job and BIG money."

"Yeah but that's bullshit isn't it?"

"Are you sure you should use such a word to a lady?"

He was apologetic and didn't even look if he doubted her claim.

"Thank you for apologizing as a gentleman."

"Eh?"

Getting over that apparent misunderstanding about whether or not he was a gentleman, the guy introduced himself as Harrison Tyler and Willow introduced herself.

They talked about their job search endeavors. Willow told him apparently to get a job she was supposed to possess a higher degree than she possessed and to have big tits.

"What?"

He listened to what she said and then revealed he'd never heard of women required to have big tits to get a job. 

"But what you said about the need for a higher degree is probably bullshit in most instances. It's an easy way to get rid of you without running into legal complications."

"Like what?"

"Asking if you are gay."

Willow said she understood that and Harrison said he'd found some people changed the specs at interview time and would say the company was wishing to hire a black and he'd bet if the applicant was black they'd say, well, he didn't have the experience required.

"Yes, it's all bullshit, isn't it?"

"You use that word?"

"What bullshit? Yeah all the time and I use the word fuck to avoid confusion as people wallow in the phrase 'making love' and pontificate with the words intercourse or sexual relations although one rarely hears those last two these days. The term having sex is far more common than it used to be but if you are not having regular sex that's not a term one would be enthusiastic about using."

"Are you enthusiastic about having sex?"

Willow looked at the guy and thought why not? So she said, "I might be if you mean with you."

'How much?"

She shrieked, grabbed her handbag off the bar top, slammed him with it and walked out.

Harrison came running after her holding his forehead. 

"Willow stop, please stop." 

"What?"

"I wasn't to know you weren't a bar whore. They lie that they aren't and that can be really confusing for a guy. You pay to fuck me."

"What?"

"I'm only trying to be fair."

She giggled and they both relaxed and crossed the street to have coffee.

"Have you ever paid for it?"

He nodded and said a few times.

"None that I've had were as good as enthusiastic amateurs possessing knowledge about how things work."

"That's interesting."

"I bet. Given you a tip about how to earn money, have I?"

Willow smiled and complimented him for being very brave.

"You are thinking of rising to the challenge so I know I was safe."

They entered the coffee bar.

"I expect you to rise to the challenge to hear from me how good you were."

Willow giggled and began thinking about having sex within the next hour or so.

Over coffee Harrison told her about his paternal grandfather who'd joined the navy 'to see the world' as the recruitment poster said. After initial training with only a couple of short spells in a training boat he was assigned to a base facility and never set foot at sea again in the next thirty-seven years till he retired.

"Oh how sad."

"Yeah, he'd wanted to be a coxswain."

Willow said, "What's that?"

"Dunno."

"Perhaps it was the guy who attended to navy female sailors."

"Yeah, knowing my grandfather that probably was his preference and the reason why they kept him ashore where they could keep an eye on him."

Harrison said his brother and sister had it made.

"My sister married an older guy who was interested in her rather and her degree. She's on a weekly allowance of fifteen hundred bucks. My brother's income varies a bit but averages, so he claims, at about nine grand a month. He didn't bother trying to get a college degree."

"Oh what does he do?"

"Steals cars to order for a gang. He only works nights and then usually no more than ten to twelve hours a week."

"God and he makes all that money and is without advanced educational qualifications. I bet his career advisors at school told him about getting a degree rather than how to make money like stealing cars. The system is really skewed, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I reckon it's all bullshit. On the other hand my parents don't possess degrees and earn chicken shit. Mom works in the accounts section at a hospital and dad is a supervisor in a warehouse. They are paying off debt accrued in putting we kids through college. My brother and sister have paid them lump sums and I will when I'm making good money. Look can we go somewhere? I'm feeling horny"

"My too. I have some money. We can book short term into a hotel."

"Save your money. My grandparents have a garden shed. We can sneak into there without them noticing but can you stomach spiders and rats?"

"Will I get fucked?"

"Of course."

"Then no problem."

Harrison grinned and said, "What I like about you Willow is you're straight up. There's no bullshit."

That's why Willow liked about Harrison: No bullshit.

"Sorry about my tits," Willow said and Harrison said they were quite okay and the two were almost a handful; the point was her nipples were normal size.

"Jesus you're tight," Harrison groaned and then wailed, "Of fuck, I've shot my load and we haven't got started."

"It doesn't matter. Keep going, remember there are two of us involved here."

"Yes, am I'm so embarrassed. Usually I require a fifteen to thirty minute recess."

Willow sucked a finger and placed her arm over Harrison's flank.

"Jesus," he yelled."

Willow grinned and her embarrassed seducer was all smiles and preparing to slam into her, full throttle.

Harrison didn't tell Willow how she rated in his book and she didn't ask. The big smile glued to her face told her what she wanted to know. 

They agreed to knock around together and to try the stimulate each other to find a job. Like Willow who still worked at the diner from 6:00 to 2:00 Harrison was working similar hours for his uncle, delivering delicatessen lines to small businesses, but only on weekdays. Willow worked one in four weekends.

They had dinner out with Uncle Rufus and Aunt Rebecca and they clearly gave Willow the impression they liked her so it came as not surprise when they offered the young couple use of their cabin in the mountains.

Up in the mountains they fished at the nearby lake, sated themselves in sex, read, talked and hiked and had a really good time; a productive time actually. They returned home with a plan to start up a business together. 

In the drive back to the city in one of his uncle's ten delivery vans Harrison said, "I am sure I can borrow ten grand from my aunt and uncle to help get us started. What about you?"

"Well there would be no problem with them lending money to me but they don't know you and might be nervous that you are unemployed/ I need you to meet them and it will be best I call our computer specialist and my deputy. Is that okay?"

"Yeah so how do we operate on that basis?"

"We both take a small and equal salary until we have paid back fully both loans and then we operate prudently, boosting our salaries out of profits and reducing that supplementary boost whenever we experience a drop in business."

"Sounds good to me. But what about if we go bust?"

"We will not plan to go bust but if we do bomb out if there's any money left we divide it equally between our two backers."

"Is that fair?"

"No but it's how we'll do it."

Rufus and Rebecca heard the young couple out and Rufus said it appeared to be a sound business plan with some hope of filling a gap. Rebecca nodded and said, "How much do you wish to borrow from us?"

Harrison swallowed, "Twenty grand."

"Is that enough?"

"That is ample thank you Mrs Milton."

"Please call me Rebecca darling." 

As they walked to the intersection where they would part to walk to their respective homes, Harrison said he was astonished how they got the loan so easily.

"Your aunt and uncle are without children and they like you and accept your parents could not afford to finance us. We also gave them confidence with our presentation. Rebecca has a two-year online degree in finance so knew she wasn't reading bullshit when she read our business plan."

Willow took Harrison home on Wednesday night to meet her parents. Harrison was wearing one of his dad's suits and Willow was sure he impressed her parents. That was confirmed when he was leaving when her mom invited him to lunch on Sunday, her mom unaware Willow had intended asking her later to do that because the plan was to talk business on their second meeting.

Harrison took Willow to his grandparents' garden shed after that Sunday lunch still astonished Willow had asked her mom to back her to set up a small business. Her mom heard details and thought that could work provided money was spent generously to promote it. Her mom said it gave her confidence that Harrison would be in the business with Willow as her assistant.

"Well how much do you want?"

"Forty grand thanks mom."

"Very well. Come back if you require more."

Willow's father pouring them more wine said, "We'll pay your premise leasing costs and deposit and your first month's rent."

Willow kissed them both and winked at the half-stunned Harrison.

After Willow's screams when climaxing had sent rats off to neighboring properties and the spiders scuttling to dark corners, Willow lay back against Harrison on the old naval blanket and he said, "Your parent's must be loaded with that flash house and fancy cars and yet you practically have no money and no car. Couldn't you ask them to buy you a car and pay its upkeep?"

"Why should I do that? They don't expect me to live off them and apart from free living at home including meals I expect nothing more."

Willow then told them about the history of Joe's Pies and how her mother became involved.

"Jesus, what a success story and yet your folk are so unpretentious. They are probably worth millions."

"No doubt they are but they don't flaunt their wealth apart this house and their cars and they only flaunt in those instances because their clients expect them to look successful. They have a cabin at a lake that's not much different to your aunt and uncle's cabin. They take no one there so have no one that needs to be impressed."

"So there's not bullshit about your parents."

"Exactly. 

CHAPTER 2

The next day the couple went into in a less affluent part of the central business district.

Willow smiled and said confidently, "Here we are, the premises I think we should lease."

"But this is not a slick building and the space for rent is three levels up."

"Yes and it's all about no bullshit. How many people will come in to engage us on spec?"

"Er none, they will only come in to sign on. All the preliminary stuff will be done on the phone and the Internet. That is stated in our business plan."


Bullshit!



"Exactly and do you think the prospect of being hired or having someone to hire will make them disappointed we don't have swanky street level premises?"

"I suppose not."

"And the rental will be at least 400% less than ground floor rental even in this building."

"Oh I see. Well I'm computer-focused aren't I? You are the business side. I treasure your sound business judgment."

"Oh thank you darling."

The renting agent arrived and they inspected the premises. Willow looked at Harrison and he nodded.

"Trish the asking rental is rather high but the location will do us." Willow smiled. "We'll sign for the space on a three-year term with right of renewal on a 20% discount on the asking rental till the start of year three by which time we will be established."

"I really don't think..."

"Trish I have a high business education with business experience. It is quite common for landlords to agree to a twenty-percent rental discount to new-start businesses."

"Well please excuse me for a moment while I call the Konstantaras Trust."

Trish returned from making the call in the adjoining office.

"Yes that is accepted."

"Good, I'll come back to your office with you and finalize. Harrison, that is your office next door and the next bigger office we need cubicles and desks for eight soliciting operators so also buy eight cell phones and eight computers and network those computers to your computer and include my laptop on that network. Buy lower-end phones because they could be dropped, drowned in coffee or be stolen. Likewise with the computers. Chose either new or reconditioned ones. You are the expert. Oh here's your company card."

Slightly dazed Harrison took the card. "Hire an Expert Ltd? But I didn't like that name." 

"True but I said come up with your recommendation and you didn't I had to get the company formed."

"Oh."

"Thank you for your implied consent Harrison. Call me if you can't make decisions."

As the two women walked off Trish said, "I have the feeling this business will take off like a rocket."

"Thank you Trish. Look we need eight students aged at least eighteen to work from 4:00 to 8:00 soliciting households for contact details of unemployed graduates and filling out questionnaire responses on the phone when contacting interested unemployed graduates in having short-term work opportunities offered them. Are you able to help?"

"Well I'll ask. One of my daughters is looking for part-time work and my son is an unemployed graduate who will be sympathetic. Both of them have heaps of friends."

"It will be intense work with a 10-minute break every hour and I'll pay $25 and hour."

"God that's generous."

"I'm forced to be generous to get results."

Trish's daughter Fiona called Willow an hour later and said she had ten students beside herself who would do the job short-term."

"Fine, come to the office tomorrow at 4:00 and find out what's involved. People can double up at the desks."

"This work will count as credits for us."

"Yes I know that Fiona. This is why I thought the scheme would work."

"Here is my brother Kevin to talk to you."

"Hi Kevin, call me Willow."

"I have a list of seventeen guys who could be interested in your scheme."

"Good, they must be genuine and skilled in some form likely to appeal fairly widely to householders and business people. For example finance rather than aviation and computers rather than primitive art but in saying that who knows what people want? Do you have your own computer?"

"Yes um Willow. Mom says you are a ball of fire and look great."

"Perhaps Kevin but my manager is my lover in case you were thinking beyond the square. Come in tomorrow and we'll discuss terms. You could work from home and earn a fee for every genuine unemployed graduate you register."

"Willow how can I guarantee they are genuine?"

"I can go through with you the reasonably reliable techniques to use Kevin including using your own instinct. We have a fortnight to set this up before we begin advertising for people willing to hire an unemployed graduate, hopefully for a minimum of one month. For that they pay us a fee of $520. If it doesn't work out within 72 hours we keep the fee but they can chose a replacement from four applicants we'll send them with no further fee unless they engage more than one of those back-up applicants. You and I will talk about a fee for each person whom you introduce to us and we register."

"Oh great, I have my bachelor's in finance. It's possible I can find time to perform relief work."

"Good, my manager and I will work to set that up for you Kevin."

Meanwhile Willow continued to fulfill compliance requirements at local and federal level and Harrison continued testing the company's website in preparation for launching it on the Internet.

* * *

The business was finally up and running and as expected most people to respond conducted their business with the company via the website. As expected it was a slow start but then there was a flurry of interest after an article about the company and its service appeared in the business section of the city's morning newspaper and then a five-minute segment on TV with Willow being interviewed produced a big wave of telephone enquiries and hits on the company's website.

Also as planned, Harrison was engaged by some companies requiring his services including speeding up company web pages and debugging websites and computer systems. Those were mostly companies without an IT department but also companies short on trouble-shooters in their own IT department. Because of that engagement the bottom line was looking very healthy. Only a deep examination of accounts would indicate Harrison's considerable contribution to fees.

A magazine article about Willow's initiative in matching successfully unemployed graduates to prospective employers unable to attract people with the skills/knowledge they required, drew increased attention to the success of the partnership and then Willow was shown on TV going up to the rostrum to accept the Chamber of Commerce's annual award for the most innovative business of the year.

In bed that night, drunk and unable to complete, Willow and Harrison uncoupled and giggled. Yes, Harrison also.

"The time has arrived to sell out business," Willow yawned.

"You have to be kidding."

"No Harrison, we are reaching near saturation point of our small market. We will continue received repeat business but new business is about to dwindle. However a well-established job search organization would see benefit in acquiring our business if it appears set to keep ticking over."

"Are you sure?" he said, doubtfully.

"Absolutely."

"Then we should sell at the first opportunity."

"Agreed. So we spread the word, um, delicately. What say the word is you and I are at loggerheads and have decided to think about splitting?"

"That's not completely true, is it?"

"Of course not Harrison. You know you are the man for me."

"You are sure that's not bullshit?"

She smiled. "Absolutely darling."

Almost two weeks later Willow received a call to lunch with the chairman and chief executive of United Job Search Inc.

Chairman Max Rook said, "We hear you company is in strife."

"Are you talking our business vitality or my relationship with my business partner?"

Clive Reynolds, the CEO, said smoothly, "Why don't you tell us what you think?"

"Well frankly see this is a setup. You two are wanting to bid for our company."

"That's bullshit," said Clive. But his chairman ignored him and said, "How much?"

Willow countered by saying they were not for sale.

"Would you consider a big offer?" the chairman said, baring his teeth.

Willow poked at her chicken.

"Listen you two, Harrison and I are not thinking of splitting up. We've hear the rumors and laughed ourselves..."

"Would $850,000 be sufficient to allow you and Harrison to make a quick exit?"

"No way, our future is tied to this enterprise."

The chairman's face screwed up and he said, "$900,000 take it or leave it."

"That is tempting but I'll have to call Harrison and he may well have his phone switched off."

"We can go to our attorney now."

"But what about due diligence?"

"What and allow some other company to come in and make a tempting counter offer? You have given us the basic data."

"Well please yourself. Okay but I'll want it recorded in the agreement that I suggested you guys wait until due diligence is completed."

"Why?"

"Because Clive it you can't run the business successfully you'll make accusations against us and perhaps even seek legal redress."

"Okay, okay," Clive said looking irritated. "That clause will be included in the preamble of the agreement. We have the right people to do what you two and your office girl do but also do it better. Come on, let's go and sign a heads of agreement to cover the situation until we have an agreement for the sale and purchase drafted to mutual satisfaction. We will also require within the next two days your last audited six-monthly accounts to pursue and a copy of unaudited accounts up to last Friday. We can then expect to complete on the following Monday."

"I'll meet you two outside. I want to call my business partner. Give me the address of where he needs to come to co-sign."

Willow made the call. "Hi Harrison, where are you?"

"Um with a client."

A woman laughed and Willow heard her say distinctly, "So women you have sex with you call clients?"

"Shut up Debra."

Willow was shocked and held back tears. "I've sold the business."

"Oh great."

"Come to this address within the next thirty minutes," she said, her voice a little shaky as she gave him details.

"How much?"

"I'll tell you when I see you."

"Um Willow. You may have heard something. Debra likes her little jokes."

Willow snarled, "That's bullshit" and cut the call.

The following Monday the final deal was signed and $900,000 transferred into Willow and Harrison's bank account that required both their signatures for withdrawals. She had already cancelled their business credit cards, informed everyone involved with the company what was happening and had negotiated release from their office lease but had to agree to a penalty payment.

They returned to the offices after the transactions were complete and they both looked at the computer screen of their bank account to confirm the money had transferred.

"Well this is it," she said hollowly.

"Willow, please take me back."

"Stop asking Harrison; I've told you we are finished. Now please pour coffee and let's run through these processes for our final exit from business. It will be a while before we achieve a final windup, including deregistering the company and getting a final IRS clearance. So initially we should each take a equal slice of money, leaving plenty for final payments including repayment of loans. How much do you want?"

"Whatever you think," he said dully, putting down the coffee cups and sitting to face Willow. "What will you do now."

"My mother is taking me to Italy and Spain."

"What to look at culture?"

"To look at men actually; she never was sophisticated."

"Huh?"

"It doesn't matter. Drink you coffee and we'll withdraw two hundred grand each, unless you want more."

"No that's enough for the time being. But what can I do with it? Debra won't have anything to do with me now that I admitted being involved with another woman."

"The answer will come to you Harrison. It always does because life goes on. You've had the taste of success and will be driven to attain new heights of success."

"That's bullshit."

THE END